Child magazine | CPT June 2016

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

let’s

party issue celebrate in style choose your theme party like a pro pay it forward

happy

father’s day be an even greater dad look after your health, guys

healthy living this winter www.childmag.co.za

June 2016

free

pregnancy and pills stop your baby’s snoring

health

education

entertainment

Hunter House PUB L IS H ING

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Marina Zietsman • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Lucille Kemp

Art Designers Mark Vincer • studio@childmag.co.za Candice Acheson • studio1@childmag.co.za Julian Mc Namara • studio1@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Lisa Waterloo • ctsales@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

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South Africa’s best guide for parents

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Let’s party!

Ah, how wonderful to once again bring you our annual Let’s Party issue! As usual it is crammed with colourful inspiration as well as easy, practical solutions for your child’s next birthday celebration. With the cold winter months ahead, we know you’ll love the themes we have chosen, perfect for in- or outdoor parties. Last night, on learning that I had my note still to write, my youngest daughter, a pro party planner in her own right, offered her thoughts. “Mom, it’s all about balance. Children should be allowed to give their input when it comes to the planning, but not too much, ‘cause at the end of the day, it’s the parent who pays the bills and does all the work”. Pearls of wisdom I tell you, at such a tender age. I took the hint and have to admit that my enthusiasm for all things party may overshadow the real reason for celebration; the uniqueness of my child and her needs on her special day. Next year, my New Year’s resolution will most certainly be striving for balance and carefully consulting my daughters on what’s really important, on their red-letter day.

Cape Town’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios, 35 Wesley Street, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 021 465 6093, fax: 021 462 2680, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R220, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Cape Town’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles, and other editorial content, are accurate and balanced, but cannot accept responsibility for loss, damage or inconvenience that may arise from reading them.

But our June issue is not only about birthdays and gift-giving.

This month we celebrate dads too. Sadly mine died a few years back. He was kind, strong, loyal to his family and incredibly loving. If I had a wish granted on my birthday, it would be to spend one more day with my dad, to see him smile, and know that I was loved. Surely no other gift comes close?

Happy Father’s day to all the wonderful dads out there.

Lisa Mc Namara Publisher

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June 2016

3

contents 12

be an even better dad 3 a note from lisa

regulars

6 over to you readers respond

9 pregnancy news – tricky to treat Anél Lewis finds out which meds

features

are safe to take when feeling under the weather while pregnant

12 be an even better dad raising a child can be hard work. Mark van Dijk gives powerful tips for dads to help them do a decent job

14 man up annual health checkups can help men stay healthy longer.

Tamlyn Vincent explains why

10 best for baby – noisy newborns babies do snore, but when should you be concerned about Obstructive Sleep Apnoea? By Lucille Kemp

20 dealing with difference – give a little Lucille Kemp looks at philanthropic parties and ways to give and not just receive

16 rethinking experimentation Gary Koen gives us the hard facts on the dangers of marijuana

18 the gift of failure should we give our children the space to make mistakes and learn from the experience?

Samantha Page investigates

21 planning do’s and don’ts Anél Lewis shares her experiences on party etiquette and the

22 resource – let’s party! our annual party guide is here to inspire you to make your child’s birthday party a lasting memory. Compiled by Marina Zietsman

30 what’s on in june 34 finishing touch Anél Lewis is already wary of the day her children start asking questions about the birds and the bees

34 next month in child magazine

related conundrums

35 a good read books for the whole

health

family to enjoy

8 taking vitamin b Marina Zietsman looks at the importance of vitamin B and if it helps to supplement

classified ads 24 family marketplace

Joburg

Sarah-Jane Photography sarahjanephotography.co.za

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June 2016

Cape Town

Megan Hancock Photography meganhancockphotography.co.za

Pretoria

Durban

Shutterstock shutterstock.com

Megan Hancock Photography meganhancockphotography.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPH: sarahjanephotography.co.za

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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June 2016

5

letters

...for me feminism comes down to one word: choice – personal choice to be exact. feminism recreated I really enjoyed reading the article “feminism and motherhood” (May 2016), as it struck a chord with my beliefs, and created some much needed, though goodhearted, debate in my home. I know there are many women that suffer due to abuse and a lot of wrongs should still be righted in workplaces all over the world, but for me feminism comes down to one word: choice – personal choice, to be exact. As a human being one should be allowed to make choices, within reason obviously, regarding one’s own life, without having to be subjectified, compartmentalised or categorised. I know gay couples with children, single moms with children, large families with seven children – and all these people are different, happy, secure, and made these choices, because that is what they wanted and what makes them

content. Within these familial confines, lie individuals who are strongly outspoken about women’s rights, who are politically active citizens, who are vegetarian, who knit jerseys for the under privileged, who live for their careers… All strong women, who made a choice and tackle day-to-day problems with their children with all the knowledge and energy and love they can muster. If that is feminism, then long live feminism.

Carol Leon

your voice online thanks for the assistance I have been helping my daughter with her science fair project, but we were having a hard time finding good ideas. As we were looking around for some inspiration, we found your page, childmag.co.za/content/kitchenscience. Sarah and I want to say “thank you” as this article has been a huge help. Sarah loves science so, while looking for some good experiments and activities she could do at home, we stumbled onto homeadvisor. com – they have a section called Science Experiments For All Around Your Home. We thought to share this page, as it would be helpful for others looking for at-home science activities and experiments.

Tonya and Sarah

over to you in response to “vaccinated or vulnerable” Thanks for this article. I was never uncertain as to whether my child would be vaccinated or not. I knew it was something you had to do. I would rather my child suffers a few days of discomfort than a lifetime of illness that could have been prevented. My child contracted Roseola even though he was vaccinated, because another parent was careless enough to not vaccinate her child and they passed it on. Luckily my son recovered quickly from it though her child ended up in hospital.

Angel in response to “remember me” I love to capture any moments of my children. My boys are now in school and I’m still taking photos with

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June 2016

in response to “raising children of privilege” This is an awesome feature and with research well done. The majority of parents who are able to provide more than basics for their children, feel that they are doing enough and thus invest more time in earning an income to support their provider role. Parents themselves who have suffered from a lack of active parenting, and who do not possess the nature to improve their parenting, tend to fall into the trap of materialism. It is important that we always check our personal stance on parenting, and understanding of parenting principles, with our peers. It is not a matter of not knowing, but rather a matter of ensuring eyes are on the right ball, or else facing our children going astray or, even worse, suffering from all these preventable challenges.

Meshack Kekana in response to “declutter your home” We follow the one-in, one-out rule when it comes to my daughter’s toys. Over Christmas and with her birthday, for every new toy she gets, she has to donate one to charity. Otherwise the new ones stay packed away.

Anonymous

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

my phone, and now that I have my twin girls I do the same, taking photos of my babies’ hands, their smiles, everything. It’s just a pity I don’t have these apps to play with – they sound amazing. I’m planning on getting a huge scrapbook for all my priceless moments, so I can treasure my memories forever.

Lamees

to create your year-end photobook, or calendars as Christmas gifts. I can recommend two apps for making this easy: Photo Transfer App, to easily transfer pictures from all smart phones, including iPhones and iPads, to your computer, and two, Creative Photo Lab Desktop app, to create your photobooks or calendars.

Redaa Cader

The best advice I ever received was to create an email account for your child and then to email them photos or little messages. This is perfect to keep you busy when you are stuck in a queue. Then when your child is old enough, you can pass on the address and password.

Anonymous

on how to get hold of a copy of child magazine I would love to know where I could find copies of Child magazine. I read it regularly online, but would love a hardcopy so that I can save all the articles and tips that I love. Is there a way to subscribe?

Candice Childmag says Annual subscriptions are R220 for 11 issues. If you would like to subscribe, email subs@childmag.co.za or contact us on 021 465 6093

This is an awesome article. Here’s another tip for those of you planning to do a yearly photobook for your children or family: at the beginning of the year, create a folder on your desktop called, for example, “2016 favourite photos”. Then save only your best pictures of each occasion in this folder, so come the end of the year you don’t have to go through thousands of pictures

erratum The event posted in the “what’s on” section of Child magazine in May 2016, “World Congress of Children’s Theatre” only takes place in May 2017. We apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused.

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

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June 2016

7

health

the “popular” one

taking vitamin b

Vitamin B12, also called cobalamin, converts our food into fuel, allowing us to stay energised and function throughout the day. It also aids in the production of DNA and red blood cells, it restores bone marrow and the lining of the respiratory and gastrointestinal tracts, maintains the health of the nervous system and spinal cord and helps to prevent megaloblastic anaemia (a lack of healthy red blood cell production).

signs of deficiency It is believed that there is a lot of undetected vitamin B12 deficiency sufferers out there. Annelize Zeelie, a registered dietician based in Randburg, says, “A vitamin B12 deficiency can lead to tiredness and fatigue due to megaloblastic anaemia.” If not treated, it can cause incontinence, weight loss, shortness of breath, poor circulation, forgetfulness and confusion, psychosis and hallucinations, tremors (unintentional, rhythmic muscle movement) and depression. “In infants a vitamin B12 deficiency can cause a unique neurological problem called infantile tremor syndrome, where the child gets tremors and milestones can be delayed if the condition is prolonged,” says Zeelie.

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June 2016

Vitamin B12 has many health benefits, but its main function is to keep the nerve and blood cells healthy. MARINA ZIETSMAN digs deeper to find out more about this life-saving vitamin and if it helps to supplement.

who is at risk?

A vitamin B12 deficiency is more common in older people (age 60-plus), but other potential candidates include those on all levels of vegetarianism (including newborns of vegan/vegetarian moms); those that suffer from pernicious anaemia, an autoimmune condition; when the stomach lining is thinning due to disease; after surgery to the stomach or small intestine; those suffering from digestive conditions such as Crohn’s disease; and, people on certain medication such as certain diabetes drugs and some antacid medication.

how to counter it It’s important to note that no plant can make or store vitamin B12 and it can only be found in animal foods. Zeelie suggests the following to get your daily dose: meat, chicken, fish, eggs, milk, yoghurt and cheese. “Vegans who exclude

all animal products from their diet may require a source of vitamin B12 either from a supplement providing the recommended daily allowance, fortified food, nutritional yeast or a reliable plant source modified to contain a biological, active source of vitamin B12,” says Zeelie. She adds that it’s important for children to get a variety of foods in their diet to help them get the energy and nutrients that they need for normal growth and development. “Aim for three to four food groups in a meal,” suggests Zeelie. For her list of nutritional, vegetarian meals rich in vitamins, including B12, visit childmag.co.za/vegetarian-child

to supplement or not Zeelie says a definite “yes” to supplementation. “It can be in tablet form or an intramuscular injection”. Though she adds that she would not recommend vitamin B12 shots for children unless there

is a diagnosed deficiency and other medical obstacles, such as an absorption problem, and a medical practitioner administers it in the correct dose. If you do suspect a deficiency, a fairly simple blood test can determine whether you should look at your diet or supplementation. If your diet is restrictive, speak to a registered dietician for advice, or your healthcare practitioner if you do consume enough vitamin B12 in your diet, but still have a deficiency.

vitamin B12 myths ✻✻ There is no proof that it can aid in the development of children with autism or ADHD. These children are usually picky eaters, and can have a deficiency in several vitamins and nutrients. Supplementation simply improves their nutrient levels. ✻✻ There’s no evidence that vitamin B12 injections aid weight loss. ✻✻ Vitamin B12 is a water soluble vitamin, meaning if you have any excess in your body, the body simply excretes excess amounts in the urine. Thus supplementing over and above a sufficient diet or sufficient levels of vitamin B, will not boost your energy levels.

magazine cape town

pregnancy news

tricky to treat Popping a pill for pain is not always an option during pregnancy. ANÉL LEWIS finds out what is safe to take when

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

you’re expecting.

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ost of us think nothing of taking an aspirin at the onset of a headache, or sipping a hot toddy to keep the sniffles at bay.

But when you’re pregnant, you have to bear in mind that any medication you take may put your baby at risk of developing birth defects.

the golden rule When it comes to medication and pregnancy, Dr Susan Shelton, a Cape Town-based general practitioner, says pregnant women should always check with their doctors before taking anything. The safety of all medication during

magazine cape town

pregnancy depends on several factors, including the stage of the pregnancy. “Always check with your doctor first,” she advises. The internet has no shortage of online advice about what medications and ingredients could be safe to take, but doctors and chemists agree that the golden rule is always to consult a medical expert. You must know the possible risks so that you can decide whether they outweigh the benefits of taking the medication. Also note that medications that are not safe to take during pregnancy are generally not suitable for breastfeeding women either, as they could pass through breast milk to the baby.

chronic conditions However, not taking medication if you have a chronic condition can, in some instances, be as dangerous as taking the wrong medication during pregnancy. According to the American Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, pregnant women should not stop taking any medication without first talking to their doctor. The same goes for women who plan to fall pregnant. The sudden cessation of antidepressants, for example, could put the mother at risk.

However, some antidepressant medications could have risks for the foetus and newborn, and expectant women should always consult their doctors or consider alternative treatments to manage their condition during pregnancy. This would also apply to women with asthma, hypertension and auto immunodeficiency diseases. While research indicates that acetaminophens for pain relief do not seem to increase the risks of major birth defects in the first trimester, there’s not enough evidence about the use of painkillers or opioids during pregnancy. Some studies indicate a higher risk of birth defects, such as spina bifida, with the use of these drugs.

fight the flu The United States Food and Drug Administration’s (FDA) stance is that prescription and over-the-counter medicines containing nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), opioids and acetaminophen carry potential risks and should be used with caution. Acetaminophen is a common ingredient in fever-alleviating medication, including treatment for colds, flu and allergies. However, the FDA says there is a risk of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children whose mothers used this medicine when pregnant.

Medicines containing nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) or opioids, such as codeine, come with a risk of miscarriage in the first trimester. Research has indicated that opioids could cause birth defects of the brain, spine or spinal cord. Over-the-counter remedies should not be used for protracted periods and preferably only in consultation with a healthcare professional. Avoid decongestants that contain pseudoephedrine and phenylephrine, as these could affect blood flow to the placenta. Most medicines come with the following warning in the package insert: “If you are pregnant or breastfeeding your baby please consult your doctor or pharmacist.” Never take more than the recommended dose and consider other treatment options, especially during the first trimester when the baby is particularly vulnerable.

Rather consider non-medicinal treatments such as toddy with only hot water, ginger and lemon, or saline drops for a blocked nose.

June 2016

9

best for baby

noisy

newborns LUCILLE KEMP learns that if you have a snoring baby, know when to take matters further by being aware of the markers of Obstructive Sleep Apnoea.

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ot every child that snores suffers from sleep apnoea, but every child that has sleep apnoea will snore. For Dr Kevin Rosman, a neurologist with 20 years’ experience in sleep medicine and director of the Morningside Sleep Centre in Joburg, sleep apnoea is an important health issue. Because if your baby does suffer from it, they’ll snore because their airways are restricted and can’t be cleared with a simple nasal saline.

when to worry Paediatricians will tell you that babies generally tend to be noisy breathers because their airways are narrow and filled with lots of bubbly secretions. The air passing through these, cause many different vibratory sounds in the soft tissues of the airway, resulting in snoring.

Most of the time, these sounds subside as your baby’s airways grow and he learns to swallow excess saliva.

However, Rosman says if your baby’s snoring is also accompanied by gasping and, according to the National Sleep Foundation in the USA, the snoring is loud, they are probably battling to take in air because the throat is narrowed or blocked, keeping sufficient air from getting into the windpipe and lungs. This amounts to the sleep disorder Obstructive Sleep Apnoea (OSA).

“Various studies around the world have shown that about 1% to 4% of babies suffer from sleep apnoea and medically that’s quite common,” says Rosman. If gone untreated it may worsen, diminishing your child’s quality of life and, at worst, can be life-threatening.

Joburg-based ENT Dr Maurice Hockman says that problematic snoring needs an accurate, anatomical and medical assessment, which is why Rosman recommends you steer away from home testing and rather seek an in-hospital diagnosis by booking an appointment with an ENT. If a sleep disorder is suspected, a sleep specialist who has special training in sleep medicine, will perform a polysomnogram, which can help to determine if your child has sleep apnoea or another problem. This test records your child’s sleeping patterns to determine a diagnosis, including their brain waves, body movements, heartbeat, breathing patterns, arousals and noises.

While obesity, allergies, acid reflux and structural abnormalities in the head and neck, such as a deviated nasal septum, can contribute to sleep apnoea, Rosman says that the number one cause for sleep apnoea in babies is enlarged tonsils and often adenoids too, which block the flow of air through the throat and impair a child’s ability to breathe.

A treatment for sleep apnoea that has shown to have a very high success rate in children, says Rosman, is tonsillectomy, the surgical procedure of removing tonsils as well as a procedure called adenotonsillectomy, which is when both the tonsils and adenoids are removed. Children can have had their adenoids removed at around 11 to 12 months of age. Generally ENTs will only remove tonsils in children from three years of age, however tonsillectomy has been performed on children, who need to be treated for OSA, at one year of age. But it’s still best to speak directly with your ENT and find out what their recommendations are.

In a small percentage of cases the symptoms of a baby’s sleep apnoea are treated using CPAP, or Continuous Positive Airway Pressure, which treats by using mild air pressure to keep the airways open. It is often used on premature babies, so it is safe for infants.

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June 2016

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PHOTOGRAPH: Annelise Singh

find the cause and treat

the far-reaching effect of sleep-disordered breathing There are findings that support the idea that the sleep-disordered breathing of Obstructive Sleep Apnoea is actually aiding behavioural problems in children. The National Sleep Foundation (USA) explains the mechanics of this, “Interruptions in breathing during sleep can cause the brain to ‘wake up’ to some extent, even if the sleeping person is not aware of it. These repeated interruptions disturb the sleep patterns that are essential to a good night’s sleep and are thought to be the reason why daytime behaviour might be affected by poor breathing during the night.”

Not every child that snores suffers from sleep apnoea, but every child that has sleep apnoea will snore.

Think of your mood after a night or several nights of restless sleep – you’ll battle to wake up in the morning, you might suffer from headaches and will be sleep deprived, which will affect your ability to focus. You most likely will be irritable and agitated causing you to become short-tempered and aggressive or feel overwhelmed. It is quite similar for a baby, who needs to sleep 16 to 20 hours in a day in order to thrive. Older children in a structured environment where they are required to concentrate to learn new things will also struggle when sleep deprived.

Research has revealed the profound role tonsils play in a child’s functioning. A rigorous, highly respected study was published in Pediatrics in 2006 where it was found that children who have surgery to remove their tonsils are very likely to behave and sleep better, one year later. Data was collected from testing sleep and breathing at night, and attention and behaviour during the day. About half of the children in the study who were found to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) before tonsil surgery no longer met criteria for this diagnosis one year later. Other cognitive and behavioural issues also improved.

The body of evidence on this issue suggests that a significant number of children with inattention, hyperactivity or sleepiness during the day and sleep-breathing problems at night, may benefit from a tonsillectomy.

home remedies for first relief Saline nasal spray If your baby’s nose seems stuffy, squirt a few salt-water drops into their nose at least once a day. Most pharmacies sell it.

Nasal aspirator This will suck out excess secretions gently.

Warm mist vaporiser To humidify the air in your baby’s bedroom. You can also stand in a warm bathroom with your baby, as the humidified air loosens excess secretions in the airway. Do this just before bedtime.

Allergy-proof Remove allergens from your baby’s bedroom such as items that collect dust and animal fur.

magazine cape town

June 2016

11

parenting

be an even

better

dad

It’s one thing to father a child; it’s a lot harder to do a decent job of raising them. Here are five

simple but powerful tips to help you on your way.

By MARK VAN DIJK

1

show up

A recent Institute of Race Relations report found that only 36% of young South African children live with both of their biological parents. Most young children (43%) aged up to four years old live with only their biological mother, while 2% live only with their biological dad. So what does this mean for you? Regardless of your marital situation, being a good dad means being around. “A big problem in South African families is children feeling that their dad is just absent,” says Anthony Hawthorn, a social worker at the Family and Marriage Society of South Africa (Famsa) in the Western Cape.

For Hawthorn, the key lies in consistency. “Isn’t that the irony? We think that being a good father is making the grand entrance,” he says. “There is far greater power in consistency than in the grand entrance. Your child wants to know that you’re consistent, and that if you say you’re going to do something, that you do it. It speaks to the dynamic that all of us have: we function best in an environment that is predictable and stable. That’s where a lot of dads get it wrong. They do a great job... for a day.”

If you want to be a good father, Hawthorn says, you should start by being a good partner to their mother. One way to do this is to share the child-rearing responsibilities with her, and to realise that, in the modern economy where many homes have dual incomes, the roles of mothers and fathers have started to converge.

Despite what your own dad may have told you, modern parenting is no longer divided into What Mom Does and What Dad Does. It’s about What Parents Do. “There is no law written in the heavens that says ‘Mom changes nappies’ or ‘Dad cleans the drain’,” says Hawthorn. “The moment we start to shift that, we’ll create another, different generation where suddenly dad is changing nappies because mom has to clear the drain… or, Dad’s doing the cooking so that Mom can get some work done.”

There is a change needed here from both parents, Hawthorn explains: “Often men will find themselves placed in a role that they wouldn’t necessarily take on if it wasn’t expected of them. That might mean being a nurturer. So when your child is crying, it’s about not waiting for your partner to say, ‘I’ll go tend to the child.’ It means getting up and going to comfort your child, so that they see that masculine figures can be gentle and nurturing.”

3

… but remember to be dad

There are, of course, some jobs that Mom simply cannot do as well as you.

Like, for example, play-fighting. New research has found that a bit of playful rough-and-tumble can play a vital role in a child’s development. Anthony T. DeBenedet, co-author of The Art of Roughhousing (Quirk Books), argues that this kind of physical play helps children develop cognitively, socially and emotionally.

And his argument, while counter-intuitive, does make a lot of sense: when your child is counter-attacking the Tickle Monster, they’ll learn to read cues like body language and facial expressions.

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June 2016

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PHOTOGRAPH: sarahjanephotography.co.za | ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

2

share the workload

“Sadly,” writes DeBenedet, “among many of today’s families, roughhousing barely limps along on life support. What was once a motto of ‘Safety First’ has evolved into a fretful new motto of ‘Safety Only’. Many parents are more frightened by skinned knees and bruised feelings than life’s real dangers: stifled creativity and listless apathy.” Play, he says, and especially active physical play like roughhousing, “makes kids smart, emotionally intelligent, lovable and likable, ethical, physically fit, and joyful.”

Research from Australia’s University of Newcastle supports the theory. There, researchers found that children get a sense of achievement when they “defeat” a more powerful adult during a play-fight – and this builds their self-confidence and concentration.

But don’t go easy on your child: the same Aussie researchers said that fathers who resist their children can also teach them that, in life, you don’t always win.

4

read!

“The sentiment used to be: ‘Make it quality time’,” says Hawthorn. “But a lot of the thinking among educators and psychologists has shifted to now say: ‘It’s not just about quality; it’s also about quantity. Each of us has to etch out a living, so it’s unrealistic to think I can spend every waking moment of my life with my child. But do I spend an hour watching a TV programme at night, or do I spend 20 minutes in my child’s bed, reading a book with them? Those 20 minutes every day give your child a safe place to return to. And what is any child looking to their Dad for? Security.

Safety. Predictability.”

That quantity/quality time can really be as simple as 20 minutes spent reading bedtime stories. According to a new study from Harvard University, children actually benefit more from their father reading to them. After a year spent researching the impact that parents reading had on their children, Dr Elisabeth Duursma found that girls especially benefited more when read to by a man. “The impact is huge,” she says, “particularly if dads start reading to children under the age of two. Reading is seen as a female activity and children seem to be more tuned in when their dad reads to them. It’s special.”

5

be the dad you wanted

As a father, you’ll naturally reflect on what your own father did well (or not)… and that’s a healthy point to come to, says Hawthorn.

“For many men there’s a sense of, ‘I don’t know how to do this, because my dad was never there for me’,” he explains. “That’s often the junction of healing: when the child realises that Dad is only living out what he was taught, and that they need to work together to create something different. So, it becomes a reciprocal process. The child says: ‘I’m going to teach you how to be a dad’, and the father says: ‘I’m going to learn from you, what you need from me’.”

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June 2016

13

health

man up Annual checkups can help you stay healthier for longer. TAMLYN VINCENT looks at when men should schedule a visit to the doctor, and what

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screenings to have.

en are known for not asking for help. How many men do you know who ask for directions? Or who read instructions before assembling a piece of furniture? Figuring things out on their own is, for the most part, what men do. But when it comes to health checks, asking for help is essential. Missing an early diagnosis isn’t the same as taking a wrong turn – you may not have the chance to turn back when it comes to cancer or cardiovascular disease.

A lot of older men, especially those over 50 years old, still need to be encouraged by their partners to visit the doctor, and usually only when there is a problem, says Cape Town GP Dr Jane Benjamin. Younger men are becoming more aware of their health, she says, and are booking routine checks and health screenings. But the Cancer Association of South Africa (Cansa) is encouraging every man to look after his health, to pay attention to changes in his body and to go for regular checkups. Early detection can save you time and money (by avoiding longer, and more expensive treatment) and it can save your life, making the annual checkup a must, especially as you get older. Benjamin says screenings will depend on a man’s age and risk factors, plus “the frequency of screening depends on your individual and family history”. Risk factors, such as a family history of stroke, diabetes, heart disease or cancer, as well as lifestyle, such as increased alcohol intake or not getting enough exercise, may mean checkups need to happen more regularly. Screenings will also focus on two main areas: cardiovascular disease and cancer.

A lot of men still need to be encouraged by their partners to visit the doctor, and usually only when there is a problem.

Cardiovascular disease is the leading cause of preventable death says Benjamin, who adds, “80% of stroke and heart disease can be prevented with simple lifestyle measures.” Knowing if you’re at risk is also essential, so you can look out for any problems before they become a real problem. Screenings for cardiovascular conditions will include checks for high blood pressure, cholesterol and blood glucose (diabetes), generally done every year once men reach the age of 40 years old. Annual checkups also give your doctor the chance to discuss your lifestyle factors, says Benjamin, and look at how you can reduce your risk.

High blood pressure or hypertension can be dangerous to your heart and other organs. Checking it regularly is essential and you can do this at your annual checkup or at pharmacies or clinics that offer this service. It’s a good idea to check your body-mass index (BMI) at the same time, which indicates whether or not you are overweight. A normal weight to height ratio for men would usually register as a BMI between 18,5 and 25, while

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PHOTOGRAPH AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

matters of the heart

a BMI higher than 30 could indicate obesity. Being overweight can jeopardise your heart health, and lead to complications like type 2 diabetes. If your doctor is worried that you’re overweight, that your blood pressure is too high, or if you have other risk factors (like a family history, high cholesterol or you smoke), you may need to have your blood glucose tested, regardless of your age. If you’re over 40 years old, you should have your blood glucose checked every year, says Benjamin. The fasting blood glucose test is commonly used, but others include a random blood sugar test, an oral glucose tolerance test or a haemoglobin A1C test, which estimates your average blood sugar levels.

High cholesterol is yet another risk factor for cardiovascular disease, adds Benjamin.

From 40 years old, men should have their cholesterol checked on a yearly basis. But more regular checks may be needed if you have risk factors such as diabetes, kidney problems or are at risk of heart disease. Blood tests will check your cholesterol levels and your blood triglycerides.

cancer scare If you’re on the road to a long, healthy life, catching cancer early is vital. Screening for cancer aims to detect cancer before symptoms appear, and could include blood tests, urine tests and medical imaging.

Testicular cancer more commonly affects younger men, particularly between the ages of 15 and 39, although it can affect anyone. By doing regular examinations, men get to know their bodies and can recognise any changes, says Professor Michael Herbst, a health specialist at Cansa. Cansa recommends that younger men do regular testicular selfexaminations, feeling for any lumps (which can be as small as a grain of rice and often feel firm, like hard rubber), changes in size, or other irregularities. Boys and men can ask their doctor to show them how to do these checks. Aside from general health, dental and eye checks, boys only need to start checking for testicular cancer once they’re about 15 years old. But as men get older, their risk increases, and from 40 onwards, getting that annual checkup is an all-important step in the right direction.

“Prostate cancer is one of the leading cancers in South Africa, with one in 27 men having a lifetime risk of diagnosis” reports Cansa. Men over 50 years old should have a routine Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) at least once every two years, says Herbst. For those with a higher risk, annual screening should start between the ages of 40 and 45.

The test results will indicate how frequently future tests should be taken. The Digital Rectal Exam, where the doctor examines the prostate through the rectum, should form part of the medical exam for men with a raised PSA reading. Risks for prostate cancer include a family history of the disease, drinking alcohol, not getting enough exercise, and having a poor diet with a high fat and red meat intake.

From the age of 50, Benjamin suggests that men should have screening colonoscopies for colon cancer every 10 years. Having a family history, or other risk factors, would mean earlier and more frequent screenings.

following a healthy lifestyle is an important part of disease prevention Get enough exercise

Avoid processed foods

Lose weight, or maintain a healthy weight

Don’t smoke or use tobacco products

Follow a nutritious diet and drink plenty of clean water

Limit your alcohol intake

Cut down on red meat consumption

Go for regular screenings and do self-examinations

If you have signs, symptoms or a personal or family history of any condition, see your GP.

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June 2016

15

parenting

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June 2016

Is experimenting with drugs, particularly marijuana, just a harmless rite of passage for teenagers? GARY KOEN gives us some hard truths to ponder about drug use, and challenges us to take a firm stand against experimentation. to have, what kind of activities they enjoy, and what skills they are going to need as adults. In simple terms, the point of experimentation is to learn how to solve problems, not create problems.

It’s dangerous for adults, particularly professionals, to misrepresent destructive behaviour as being merely teenage experimentation. Describing behaviour, which is clearly destructive as experimental is irresponsible because in the eyes of the teenager it normalises the experience. Few teenagers recognise that the point of experimentation is to find out more about themselves and to learn from the experience, not to get stuck in

the experimenting. For example, those who may have got violently drunk and escaped with nothing more than a severe headache and bruised pride may be able to learn from the experience and be a bit more circumspect in the future, but not if they believe that the point of being a teenager is to carry on experimenting, paying no attention to the consequences of their behaviour.

the grass is not greener Of particular concern when it comes to experimentation is marijuana. While sex and alcohol are two of the most common things teenagers tend to experiment

with, primarily because sex is natural and alcohol is legal and easily accessible, marijuana follows closely behind.

When teenagers are caught smoking grass, the stock answer often given when asked why they did it is that they were experimenting. Somehow this is generally considered a legitimate reason.

No one is going to convince me that it is normal for teenagers to start smoking grass. I believe the problem begins with the notion of experimentation, so my question is: where do you draw the line?

Is it really okay to try everything once? Is there anyone out there who would like to try a little bit of a car accident? Or who is keen for a little bit of jail time?

A popular comeback is that one doesn’t need to experiment with things that are obviously life-threatening or harmful, but this is where things get hazy.

The implication is that marijuana is quite harmless – less dangerous than alcohol, better for you than cigarettes. But just because you can grow dope in your backyard doesn’t change the fact that it is

magazine cape town

Illustration: shutterstock.com

w

hen people casually say, “It’s just teenagers experimenting”, it can sound quite harmless and innocent – even quite fun. “Ag shame, it’s just a couple of teenagers experimenting with some crack cocaine” or “Ah, the sweetness of youth, they were just experimenting with a bit of unprotected sex; they didn’t know they were going to have a baby or catch a lingering disease or be charged with statutory rape.”

Experimenting with something known to be dangerous or potentially harmful is not an experiment. It is high-risk behaviour. It’s imperative that we do not excuse what is clearly self-destructive behaviour as being part of “normal teenage experimentation”.

What is viewed as so-called normal teenage experimentation refers to an inner striving to learn more about themselves and the world in order to discover who they really are. Teenagers should find out what they like, who they like, what kind of relationships and friendships they want

rethinking experimentation

a drug. Further fuelling the debate are the many adult dope smokers out there who fiercely defend their habit, contesting that their precious weed is nothing but a mere victim of a wider conspiracy designed to protect the alcohol industry, along with the thousands of jobs at stake needed to police, prosecute and rehabilitate its users, suppliers and growers. But while these protests may well have led to the drug’s legalisation in certain US states, this doesn’t mean it is safe or harmless for teenagers to try.

Simply put, marijuana is a drug and is as dangerous as alcohol because it has a similar limiting effect on one’s emotional development. Ultimately, it is more psychologically debilitating than alcohol.

Not only is it much harder to recognise as a problem and more problematic to give up, but it is also a considerable health hazard. Depending on the potency, one joint is estimated to be the equivalent of about five cigarettes and contains most of the cancer-causing agents found in ordinary tobacco.

magazine cape town

calculating risk So, what constitutes a successful experiment? If teenagers experiment with grass and happen to like it, does this constitute a successful experiment? This is the inherent risk with all drugs. After all, they are designed to work – they are supposed to make people feel good, hence their enduring, lethal allure. Furthermore, if it’s okay to experiment with grass, what stops them from trying other drugs on offer – cocaine, MDMA, tic or even heroin?

could try to convince themselves that dope is non-addictive. Unfortunately, this too is a fallacy and a very destructive one, because every dope smoker I have ever spoken to says that when they first started experimenting with grass, none of them would have believed that a year later they would be smoking every single day.

To make matters worse, because of all the myths about the “natural” effects of marijuana, users seldom seek help because they feel too embarrassed

The point of experimentation is to learn how to solve problems, not create problems.

Teenagers who experiment with marijuana and discover that they like the feeling it gives them might just have experimented themselves into a dilemma.

They’ve just found out that they enjoy getting high. Now what are they going to do? One option, I suppose, is that they

to be hooked on something that is supposedly harmless.

The truth is that it isn’t harmless at all. It erodes their motivation, diminishes their short-term memory, affects their coordination, perception and overall functioning, and generally leaves them

with a feeling of always being somewhat depressed. There are many teenagers whose “experiments” have left them rooted mindlessly on their couches, falling further and further behind their peers as their lives pass them aimlessly by.

In some frightening instances, marijuana can precipitate a psychotic episode, where a simple experiment can turn into a lifelong nightmare.

So, despite what many people say, marijuana is a mind-altering substance that interferes with one’s reality. It is a drug, and when it comes to drugs and teenagers, there is no such thing as normal experimentation. This is the unambiguous message that professionals, teachers and parents need to be giving our youth.

Experimentation is about learning to take risks that will assist in their growth and development, about challenging themselves and learning to differentiate between a valid set of likes and dislikes. It is certainly not about acquiring destructive habits that are likely to cause untold grief in years to come.

June 2016

17

education

From the moment your child is born, you feel compelled to guide and protect him from getting hurt or experiencing failure or discomfort. But perhaps giving him the freedom to make mistakes

gift of

failure

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June 2016

y

our Grade 4 child, who hates science, has been set a science project, which is due in three weeks.

Do you?

A: Set up a timeline for him or her, ensuring the assignment gets done in time. Buy all the required materials, create a workspace and add some biscuits and a glass of milk to make the experience more bearable.

B: Let your child figure out what needs to be done and let him or her give you a list of what materials he or she needs to complete the task (sans treats), checking regularly to make sure he or she is on track.

C: Pray that it all comes together in the end.

If, out of love or a desire to bolster your child’s selfesteem, you picked A, teacher and author of The Gift of Failure Jessica Lahey thinks you’re making a big mistake.

Lahey recently told Quartz (qz.com) that not long ago she realised that something was wrong with her parenting and something was amiss with the middle-school students she was teaching. “They wilted in the face of challenge; they didn’t love learning like they used to; parents took bad grades personally and it seemed everyone was unhappy,” Lahey confesses.

She continued to be confounded by the root of the problem until she realised that, as parents, we seem

to be more worried about raising happy children than competent, autonomous ones.

In a fascinating study conducted by psychologist Wendy Grolnick, the scientist puts pairs of mothers and children in a room and videotapes them as they play. Grolnick then labels the mothers as either “controlling” or “autonomysupportive,” the latter indicating moms that let children figure things out on their own. Grolnick invites the pairs back and children are put in the room by themselves and asked to perform a task. The children who had controlling moms gave up when they were faced with a task they could not master, while those with autonomy-supportive moms did not and instead adopted a problem-solving attitude.

Lahey concludes that children raised by controlling parents could not contemplate tasks on their own, but those raised by autonomy-supportive parents stuck with the task even when they became frustrated. These children, who can persevere despite the tasks becoming more difficult, become less dependent on guidance in order to focus, study and organise, and more equipped to run their own life, as they get older.

While it’s natural for parents to worry about failure, there are times when it can be productive for children, and present an opportunity to change, says the late child

magazine cape town

ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

the

will better help him succeed. SAMANTHA PAGE investigates.

behavioural therapist James Lehman. In his work, Lehman often noted that the Chinese symbol for “crisis” is a combination of the symbols for danger and opportunity: your child has the opportunity to learn a valuable lesson when he experiences the discomfort of his choices. “This could be what happens when you cut corners, when you don’t do your best at something or experience the reality of not being productive,” said Lehman.

“Too much control breeds either resentment or passive compliance,” says KwaZulu-Natal counselling psychologist Dr Rob Pluke. “If we want our children to take ownership of their studies, then we have to concede that they have the right to fail. It’s really their choice. You don’t want your child to think he’s doing his studies for you – that he’s doing you a favour.”

By her own admission, Gauteng mom Caroline* and her daughter Jessica* went through some rough waters last year when Jessica was in Grade 4. Caroline seemed to be putting in more time and effort and was running herself ragged trying to keep track of Jessica’s homework, assignments, hockey gear, reply slips and keeping books neat and tidy so her daughter’s teachers would see an organised learner instead of a scattered, disorganised one.

“I took my daughter’s bad grades and negative feedback from teacher’s personally because I felt I had failed despite all my efforts. I realised it was time to make some drastic changes to rescue our relationship. Instead of helping to do the work, I felt my input had to be about assisting Jessica to cultivate a different approach to her work,”

explains Caroline, a view supported by Pluke who cites the work of world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, who pioneered work on mindset.

Dweck believes learners have either a fixed mindset, which is based on a belief that talent and intelligence will bring success, or a growth mindset, which believes basic abilities can be developed through hard work and dedication, and brains and talent are just the starting point. “Moms and dads are better at ‘you can do it’ than ‘this is how you do it’,” says Pluke. “It’s hard learning complex maths from someone you love. This is when the learning environment becomes a forum for tears and frustration.”

But what if your child is more prone to fail because of learning deficits, poor executive function and low self-esteem? Couldn’t failure bring more negativity into that child’s life? “It most definitely does,” says Cape Town-based clinical psychologist Fairuz Gaibie. “I have sat with children who have erroneously come to the heart-breaking conclusion that they are just stupid. Here it is important to build on the child’s competencies and provide them with consistent and unconditional love and support. Extramural activities in which they can experience a sense of mastery is vital in these children, as well as praising the child’s character and attributes, such as their kindness, generosity and thoughtfulness. Parents should also make an effort to place more emphasis on a person’s character instead of what is traditionally seen as ‘achievement’.

As parents, we seem to be more worried about raising happy children than competent, autonomous ones.

magazine cape town

This sends an important message to these children that who they are is more important than any accolade they could acquire.” *Names have been changed

how to talk to your child about failure Whether you and your child are dealing with feelings of discomfort or feelings of failure, there are three simple questions parents can ask their child, says James Lehman.

1

what part did you play in this?

That’s what you want your child to learn

because that’s the only behaviour or action he can change. Therein lies the lesson.

2

what are you going to do differently next time?

This is an important question because it will help him see other, healthier ways of responding to his problem.

3

what did you learn from this?

Put the responsibility back on your child. It

is better for him to see that his schoolwork is essentially his work; this realisation or idea can be applied to almost every other area of his life too.

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19

dealing with difference

The abundance of a birthday party means there is more than enough to give to others who need it, says LUCILLE KEMP.

the power of giving Thinking about it now, I see that my parents’ timing was ingenious. A birthday party is a time of great joy and abundance, when giving feels easy because there is more than enough to go around. They used a special day in the family to cast the net a little wider and make others feel special too. They used the birthday party to teach their children not only how important it is to give to others that don’t have, but how good it feels.

A parent-child relationship is powerful, so when a child sees a parent giving to another they are learning

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June 2016

that kindness, thoughtfulness and selflessness are qualities to be highly regarded. Mom and Dad are broadening their children’s horizons by showing them that people beyond their family circle are worthy, too, of being looked after.

ways to use a birthday party to give ✻✻ Create a birthday in a box – package all the things you need for a birthday party and give it to a less fortunate child. ✻✻ Donate a portion of your child’s gifts. ✻✻ Ask for gifts or gift money to be donated to a nominated organisation. ✻✻ Provide the cost of a birthday cake to an organisation that feeds the hungry or cut back on the catering and take the money saved on this catering and donate it. ✻✻ Calculate the cost of having an additional guest at your party and make that donation to an organisation. ✻✻ Have a birthday buddies party – ask your child’s guests to donate goodies and get the children to spend some time at the party preparing packages for each of their buddies. ✻✻ Throw a shopping spree party – a Joburg mom, Yvonne, took her seven-year-old daughter, Mae, to one of these parties. As the birthday girl was moving to Mexico City with her family, her mom thought to put many of her still pristine toys up for sale. The birthday guests got to keep the toys and all the money raised went to an organisation.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: Caroline – Hugatree Photography

give i a little

remember after every birthday party, back in my junior primary school days, my mom and dad would take my brother and me to the local children’s home to share our birthday cake and sweets. The folks had us walk into the centre ahead of them with the party treats in-hand to give directly to the house mother. Our parents didn’t make a big deal of the gesture; it was just something that we did. As a way to introduce the idea to us, my dad simply made an observation during one of the post party clean-ups, “Look at all this cake. Why don’t we take it to children that don’t get to have birthday parties like these? Would be so nice for them, hey?”

I think my dad got our buy-in quickly because he always trumped up his ideas, making them sound so fun. My parents also worked it in such a way that we felt like we were calling the shots (plus getting to “gallivant”, as my mom would put it, on the same day as a birthday party was a bonus).

planning do’s and don’ts

i

quickly learnt the importance of putting “end” times on party invites when I found myself dragging diehard guests from an inflatable pool at 11pm on the night of my daughter’s first birthday party. In hindsight, we probably should not have opted for a spit braai that started at 10am to celebrate the birthday of a toddler who would doze off twice before we had even cut the cake.

But those were back in our eager days when we were party rookies. Now that we have organised almost 10 bashes for the children, since then, and attended countless others (have you ever noticed how they seem to happen in batches so you end up rushing like a headless chicken from the petting zoo to the superhero picnic with a blubbering Batman covered in straw?), we’re more prepared for the party gauntlet.

Party planning is not for the faint-hearted. ANÉL LEWIS shares some insight from her experiences.

ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

invited guests There are some fundamental do’s and don’ts when it comes to party etiquette. Unless you can invite the whole class, don’t place brightly coloured invites in easily visible pigeonholes or lockers where the hapless children, who haven’t been included, can see them. The same children who can’t seem to find their own shoelaces will spot a party invite a mile off. While an emailed invitation is perhaps not the most personal option, it will spare the feelings of those children who have not been invited.

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let’s party

on tap Given that the parents of younger children have to also be included in the party plans, decisions need to be made about whether alcohol will be on tap.

For the bleary-eyed parents attending what may be their third party that day, a glass of wine seems almost mandatory.

Perhaps keep alcohol for celebrations that start later in the day, and make sure the booze table is set up far away from the children’s area.

give thanks

numbers game Always RSVP to a party invite; especially if the theme involves a paid activity. Parties these days can cost as much as the down payment on a small speedboat, so be considerate and let the host know if you are coming.

Also bear in mind that the host may have capacity for a fixed number of guests. So ask before you rock up with your child, her three siblings and the great granny who is visiting from Poland. Also, younger children probably still need you to be at the party, so refrain from throwing your son out of the car quicker than anyone can scream “Piñata!” so that you can get a few hours of alone time at the mall.

Teach your children to hand over gifts graciously when attending parties, and to also say thank you for their gifts.

I recall being very rude about being given an ironing board as a present when I was about seven years old. My mother locked away all the other gifts until I had apologised and said thank you appropriately.

It’s good form to also send a written thank you afterwards.

Although, as most parents know, the gifts tend to get opened in a frenzied scrum that would put the Springboks to shame, and the chances of actually matching the cards to the toys are zero to none. If you can’t pair the gift to the guest, maybe just send out a general email with a few photographs from the party as a sign of appreciation. But if the bash ended with the adults in the inflatable pool again, maybe the best thank you would be to avoid all photographic evidence.

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resource

birthday party basics It’s party time! Plan your child’s big day using one of our inspiring themes:

culture crazy

p 24

team spirit

p 26

african safari

p 28

PHOTOGRAPHS / ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

birthday basics p 23

Download your party-planning checklist from

childmag.co.za/downloads For more inspiration, visit

pinterest.com/childmagazine

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June 2016

magazine cape town

accessories Funtasia Parties – Tygervalley – 021 914 6935 – funtasiaparties@telkomsa.net – funtasiapartydecor.co.za Kids Fancy Dress – Parklands – 021 557 6891 – kidsfancydress.co.za Les Ballons – Based in Blouberg – 072 040 2113 – info@lesballons.co.za Moneybox Party Packs – nationwide – 083 659 4055 – jorsam.co.za Paula’s Party Stuff – 021 713 2020 – paula@paulaspartystuff.co.za – paulaspartystuff.co.za

catering Cakes for Kids – Sea Point – 021 434 1796, 082 921 2803 – fleishm@telkomsa.net Custom Cakes – Brackenfell – 072 222 6992 – schultzannie@live.co.za

entertainers Action Painball – Hout Bay – 021 790 7603 – info@actionpaintball.co.za – actionpursuit.co.za Cherry Dreams – 082 771 1832 – cherry. parties@gmail.com Clamber Club – 071 909 7318 – partiesanthea@clamberclub.com – clamberclub.com Debbie Doo – Cape Town – 084 409 1683 – debbydoo8@gmail.com – debbydoo.co.za Enchanted Parties – Cape Town – 021 683 0295 – penny@enchantedparties. co.za – enchantedparties.co.za

magazine cape town

Events by Wendy – wendydfoster@gmail. com – eventsbywendy.co.za Glendini – 073 405 1199 – escapemagic@ gmail.com – escapemagic.co.za Gumboot Parties – Durbanville – 072 182 9333 – gumbootparties@gmail.com – gumbootparties.co.za Jellybean Events – 083 392 9593 – info@ jellybeanworld.co.za – jellybeanworld.co.za Learn 2 Surf – Muizenberg – 083 414 0567 – info@learn2surf.co.za – learn2surf.co.za Mini Mo Reptile Shows – Kommetjie – 083 244 5194 – bodingtontracey7@gmail. com – minimoshows.com Puddles the Clown – Cape Town – 082 368 9632 – info@actionentertainment.co.za Puppet Shows for All – Cape Town – 021 448 0794 – dpjasmin@telkomsa.net Scratch Patch at Mineral World – V&A Waterfront and Simon’s Town – 021 419 9429 (V&A Waterfront), 021 786 2020 (Simon’s Town) – topstones@topstones. co.za – scratchpatch.co.za Sunscene Outdoor Adventures – Atlantis and Scarborough – 021 783 0203 – info@ sunscene.co.za – sunscene.co.za The Incredible Dog Show – 083 649 2665 – deryn@dogzcool.com – dogzcool.com The Kids Cooking Club – Constantia – 082 303 1764 – thekidscookingclub@ gmail.com – thekidscookingclub.co.za The Surf Emporium – Muizenberg – 021 788 8687 – info@surfemporium.co.za – surfemporium.co.za

Tony Lee Magic Show – Cape Town – 082 899 0109 Young Engineers – Cape Town – 021 910 0796 – infoctnortheast@youngengineers. co.za – youngengineers.co.za

equipment hire Biembie Playtime Equipment – Cape Town – 072 288 0402 – info@biembie.co.za – biembie.co.za Jolly Jump Castles – Cape Town – 021 552 6757, 082 827 7999 – sonia@ jollyjumpcastles.com – jollyjumpcastles.com Kiddie Rides – Cape Town – 021 448 2541 – info@kiddierides.co.za

indoor & outdoor venues Clay Café – Hout Bay – 021 790 3318 – chasms@houtbay.com – claycafe.co.za Col’Cacchio Pizzeria – (head office) 087 803 4000 – colcacchio.co.za The Carnival at Weltevreden Estate – Stellenbosch – 021 889 6588 – banqueting@weltevredenestate.com – weltevredenestate.com

indoor venues Bounce World – Montague – 021 552 3165 – actioncricket@mweb.co.za – bounceworld.co.za Cape Town Science Centre – Observatory – 021 300 3200 – info@ctsc. org.za – ctsc.org.za

Franky’s Diner Kids World – 021 433 0445 – bookings@frankysdiner.co.za – frankysdiner.co.za Funky Frogs – Bellville – 071 441 1081 – lesley@funkyfrogs.co.za – funkyfrogs.co.za Spur Steak Ranches – Nationwide – 0860 007 787 – spur.co.za The Ice Station – Grand West – 083 303 4907 – icerink.co.za The Kids Shack – Wynberg – 083 380 9951, 083 512 5824 – nikki@ cre8tivekids.co.za – cre8tivekids.co.za The Playshed – Pinelands – 021 801 0141/2 – playshedparties@gmail.com Tumble Bears Make and Play – Lakeside – 084 500 7071 – info@ thetumblebeargymprogramme.co.za

outdoor venues Acrobranch – Hout Bay – 021 201 1123 – acrobranch.co.za Higgeldy Piggeldy – Noordhoek – 021 783 4545 – imhoffparties@gmail.com Muizenberg Waterslides – Muizenberg – 021 788 4759 – robporter47@gmail.com – muizenbergslides.co.za OpiKopi Farm Parties – Durbanville – 083 458 3476 – sarahlouw@discoverymail. co.za – opikopipartytjies.co.za Ratanga Junction – 021 550 8504 – info@ratanga.co.za – ratanga.co.za Waterworld Strand – Strand – 021 854 4702 – info@waterslides.co.za – waterslides.co.za

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23

resource

culture crazy mexican fiesta with power poppers From Real Meal Revolution: Raising Superheroes makes 14 poppers ingredients ✻✻ 14 fresh large jalapeño chillies ✻✻ 250g–300g streaky bacon for the mexican white sauce ✻✻ 2 cups mayo ✻✻ ¾ cup milk ✻✻ ¼ teaspoon smoked paprika ✻✻ 1 teaspoon ground cumin ✻✻ ½ teaspoon salt ✻✻ 1½ teaspoons garlic powder ✻✻ 1½ teaspoons dried oregano for the filling ✻✻ 70g grated mozzarella ✻✻ 70g grated cheddar ✻✻ 70g cream cheese ✻✻ 1 clove garlic, crushed ✻✻ 1 tablespoon chopped parsley ✻✻ salt and pepper method Bring a small pot of water to the boil.

While you’re waiting, make a single lengthways slit in each chilli.

Add the chillies to the water and boil

for about 3 minutes. When the skin starts to peel, transfer them into a bowl of cold water. Using your fingers, scoop the seeds out and dry the chillies well.

In a bowl, mix all the ingredients for the Mexican white sauce and put aside.

To make the filling, mix all the ingredients in a bowl.

Stuff each jalapeño with enough filling for the chilli to return to its original shape.

Wrap one of the pieces of bacon around each chilli, ensuring the slit is completely covered, and lay the chillies on a baking tray.

Preheat the grill, then place the chillies underneath it to cook. Grill until the bacon is crispy, turning as needed.

swiss fondue From Real Meal Revolution: Raising Superheroes serves 6–8 people for the cheese sauce dipping suggestions ✻✻ 1½ cups white wine (optional) ✻✻ fried mushrooms ✻✻ 500ml cream ✻✻ slices of fried chorizo ✻✻ 2 heaped teaspoons ✻✻ cherry tomatoes Dijon mustard ✻✻ meatballs ✻✻ 3 cups grated cheese (mild ✻✻ lightly cooked carrots gruyère, Emmenthal or cheddar) method Pour the wine into a saucepan and bring it to the boil. Simmer until it has reduced to half.

Add the cream and mustard and continue to simmer until the cream thickens slightly – about 5–10 minutes. Remove from the heat. (NB: at this point, once the cheese is mixed into the sauce,

you need to serve it immediately.

If you want to finish it off later, allow the cream sauce to cool and reheat it just before serving.

Add the cheese to the hot sauce and stir until melted. Pour it into a fondue pot and serve immediately with a variety of bits and pieces for dipping.

family marketplace

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June 2016

magazine cape town

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express yourself! entertainers

You are invited to

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more theme ideas for teens

Khanye West

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1. a dress-up night at the Oscars 2. pamper parties 3. murder mystery 4. poker night 5. master chef

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Artboost – Gardens – 083 556 9724 – artboostct@gmail. com – artboost.co.za Dillon & Jada – Cape Town – 079 447 3631 -– dillonandjada.co.za Golden Bridge Theatre Company – Cape Town – 082 535 0838 – suziq1111@gmail.com Helen O’Grady Drama Academy – Cape Town – 021 674 7478 – info@dramaafrica.com – dramaafrica.com Little Cooks Club – Helderberg – 082 811 4822 – kimm@littlecooksclub.co.za – littlecooksclub.co.za Musical Rascals – Northern Suburbs – 071 685 5072 – jill@musicalrascals.co.za – musicalrascals.co.za Sue Nepgen Art Studios – Cape Town – 021 794 6609, 083 237 7242 – snepgen@xsinet.co.za

equipment

choose your destination

activities with beat

A great idea for an invitation, to open a door to an out-of-this-world experience, is an invite in the shape of an airline ticket.

Build a temporary stage and let guests choose a popular play or musical, rehearse lines, dress up and act out.

You can also get djembe drums to make some noise or host a rock concert. All that drama is sure to entertain young and old.

bonjour!

Pretend you’re in Paris for brunch and serve croissants with fruit and healthy spreads. You can also make French toast and serve it with almond butter and preserves. Or find a recipe for crepes and sauteed fruit (berries or bananas) with a chocolate sauce. Serve eggs royale: poach eggs, toast an English muffin and serve with salmon. Bon appétit.

magazine cape town

Cape Chocolate Fountain – Cape Town – info@ capechocfountain.co.za – capechocfountain.co.za

indoor venues Color me Crazy Den – Parklands – 021 554 4135 – hanliellis@me.com School of Rock – Claremont – 021 671 9580 – claremont.schoolofrock.com Wendy’s Fabric Painting – Pinelands – 021 531 8076, 084 556 6423 – wendyadriaan@telkomsa.net Zizamele Ceramics pottery parties – Imhoff Farm, Kommetjie – 084 556 6423 – info@zizamele.co.za

outdoor venue Jolly Roger Pirate Boat – V&A Waterfront – 021 421 0909 – jilliangarfield@gmail.com – waterfront.co.za

June 2016

25

resource

team spirit soccer fever Ask your baker to create sporty cupcakes. A cupcake can represent any sports ball, from tennis to cricket and even rugby.

parmesan chicken strips From Real Meal Revolution: Raising Superheroes makes 8 portions These chicken strips are a little more grown-up than the others in the book, so are great to do as a family snack. You could also use the coating on a flattened chicken breast to make a delicious schnitzel. ingredients ✻✻ 120g parmesan, finely grated ✻✻ 120g ground almonds ✻✻ salt and pepper ✻✻ 4 chicken breasts, cut into strips ✻✻ 2 eggs, beaten ✻✻ 2 tablespoons coconut oil for frying ✻✻ 2 tablespoons butter for frying ✻✻ homemade mayo, lemon wedges and chopped chives to serve

method Mix the parmesan and almonds in a bowl and season with a little salt and pepper.

Dip the chicken strips into the egg then coat with the parmesan mix.

Heat the coconut oil and butter in a pan and fry the chicken strips until golden brown on both sides.

Serve in little cups with homemade mayo to dip, lemon wedges and chopped chives.

hanging balls decor Cut different coloured circles from cardboard, glue them to string and hang them from the roof or from trees if the party is outside.

Please come to

Lyle’s

sports party 26

June 2016

Stumped by what to give as a party favour? Hula hoops keep children fit and toned in a fun way and they are inexpensive.

shoe lace threaded invite Copy an outline of a shoe on a piece of coloured cardboard. Decorate it according to your theme, add all your details, and punch holes where the shoelaces should be. Thread real shoelaces through for an authentic invite. magazine cape town

RUGBY BALL PHOTOGRAPH: dean bertoncelj/ SHUTTERSTOCK.com

hula hoops

doughnut game Tie a long string across the room or in the garden, attach individual doughnuts with string to this. Partygoers must eat the dougnuts without using their hands or dropping it on the floor.

boerie rolls Create a festive sports atmosphere and braai boerewors outside for boerie rolls with a variety of relishes.

jan braai lamb pita From The Democratic Republic of Braai feeds 6 what you need ✻✻ 6 pita breads ✻✻ 6 lamb leg chops (those roundish ones) ✻✻ 1 tsp coriander seeds ✻✻ 1 tsp cumin seeds ✻✻ 1 tsp salt ✻✻ 1 tsp ground black pepper ✻✻ 2 garlic cloves (chopped) ✻✻ 1 lemon (juice) ✻✻ 1 tot olive oil for the sauce ✻✻ 1 cup Greek yoghurt (or cream yoghurt) ✻✻ ½ cucumber (chopped) ✻✻ 1 tot olive oil ✻✻ 2 garlic cloves (finely chopped) ✻✻ salt and pepper

big

full-

for the salad ✻✻ ½ cucumber (the other half) ✻✻ 2 big tomatoes (or 12 cherry tomatoes, chopped) ✻✻ 1 smallish red onion (or half a big one, finely chopped) ✻✻ 1 tot fresh mint ✻✻ 1 tot fresh parsley ✻✻ 1 tot fresh oregano ✻✻ 1 tot olive oil

entertainers En Garde School – Fun with Swords – Cape Town – 072 194 1926 – info@ engardefencing.co.za Little Kickers – Nationwide – 087 550 3188 – admin@littlekickers.co.za – littlekickers.co.za Rugby Tots – Cape Town – 079 410 1728

magazine cape town

what to do Crush the coriander and cumin seeds in a mortar and pestle, and mix in the salt, pepper, garlic cloves, lemon juice and olive oil.

Rub the chops with the mixture from step 1, cover and let them marinate in a fridge for about 2 hours.

Make the sauce by combining all its ingredients and then adding salt, pepper and a few squeezes of lemon juice to taste.

Make the salad by chopping and combining the tomatoes, cucumber, onion, mint, parsley and oregano.

Add a bit of olive oil to give it that nice shine.

Braai the chops for about 10 to 12 minutes over hot coals until done.

As you remove the chops from the grid, add the pita breads to the grid and toast them for a few minutes, turning a few times and taking extreme care not to let them burn.

Use your sharp chef’s or carving knife to debone the chops and slice them in thin diagonal slivers.

Open the toasted pita breads and evenly distribute the various ingredients into them.

– steed@rugbytots.co.za – rugbytots.co.za SWAT Laser Tag – 074 188 8777 – don@ swatlasertag.co.za – swatlasertag.co.za

indoor venue Bubble Soccer Parties – Montague – 021 552 3165 – actioncricket@mweb.co.za – montaguearena.co.za

June 2016

27

resource

party recipe books

african safari snakes on a branch ingredients ✻✻ different coloured fondant ✻✻ water ✻✻ 10 Flake chocolates ✻✻ non-toxic marker pens

Please come to

Jack’s

Shape the snake from your chosen colour of fondant. Using a contrasting colour fondant, make dots of different shapes and sizes and them to the snake’s body.

safari party

Shape a forked tongue from red fondant and attach it to the snake’s head. If necessary, use a little water to get it to stick.

Add the eyes and nostrils with the non-toxic marker pen.

Carefully wrap the snake’s body around the Flake.

More Easy Party Treats for Children

By Janette Mocke (Published by Struik Lifestyle, R210) Children love themed parties; and if you’re a mom who wants to give your child a party to remember, but without the hassle and stress of baking cakes and cookies, this is the book for you. Filled with simple, no-bake treats that are made from readily available sweets and biscuits, this book presents 15 party themes that can be adapted to suit your child’s age.

Saturday 7 May 3pm @ P irate Rd, Cape Town. R.S.V.P by 24 A pril: 079 987 6543

go green with e-invites

Set aside until the fondant hardens.

If you are really stressed for time, and creatively challenged, go green and send paperless invites.

E-invites are cost effective, convenient and give you the freedom to create what you want. Some sites such as e-invites.co.za charge a fee, but this includes an RSVP manager and email distribution. Most sites need you to sign-up or register.

old games with a twist

Real Meal Revolution: Raising Superheroes

By Tim Noakes, Jonno Proudfoot and Bridget Surtees (Published by Real Meal Revolution, R330) Following the record-breaking success of The Real Meal Revolution, Tim Noakes and the Real Meal Team have now set out to rethink the way we feed our children. The result, Raising Superheroes, is not a Banting cookbook and doesn’t suggest no-carb eating for children. It also has a section dedicated to party food with recipes featured in Child magazine as well as “Frozen Banana Chocolate Rockets”, “Lemon-and-Vanilla Cheesecake”, “Princess Ritz”, “Mini Cheese-andTomato Pizzas”, party drinks and more.

Children are comforted by traditional games.

Add a new twist to “Pin the tail on the donkey” by replacing the donkey with a cheetah.

Or find plenty of origami instructions for children online.

explore and create entertainers Artee Parteez – Cape Town – 072 504 7477 – capetown@ arteeparteez.co.za – arteeparteez.co.za A Scrap Above – Cape Town – 079 529 9015 – anita@ ascrapabove.co.za – ascrapabove.co.za Layer Cake Face Painting – Gardens – 072 117 6221 – tarashesays@gmail.com

indoor and outdoor venues Butterfly World – 021 875 5628 – eurika.bfw@gmail.com – butterflyworld.co.za Cape Canopy Tour – Elgin – 021 300 0501 – info@ capecanopytour.co.za – capecanopytour.co.za Fun in the Forest – Winery Road Forest, Somerset West –

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June 2016

072 390 0884 – lize@wineryroadforest.co.za Gazoome Play Centre – Milnerton – 021 837 1313 – lydia@ gazoome.com – gazoome.com Kidz Discovery – Camps Bay – 083 654 2494 – info@ kidzdiscovery.co.za – kidzdiscovery.co.za Le Bonheur Croc Farm – Simondium, Franschhoek – 021 874 1046 – info@lebonheurcrocfarm.co.za – lebonheurcrocfarm. co.za Maze World – Noordhoek – 021 783 4545 – info@ mazeworld.co.za – imhofffarm.co.za Ottery Barnyard – Ottery – 021 703 9182 – wgf@iafrica. com – otterybarnyard.co.za Planet Kids – Muizenberg – 021 788 3070 – info@ planetkids.co.za Two Oceans Aquarium – V&A Waterfront – 021 418 3823 – alichia.nortje@aquarium.co.za – aquarium.co.za

The Democratic Republic of Braai

By Jan Braai (Published by NB Publishers, R320) It is your democratic right to gather with friends and family around braai fires throughout the country, and even more so on a birthday celebration. This is the promise of Jan Braai’s The Democratic Republic of Braai. It brings you the greatest braai recipes that Jan knows – it’s your right to braai the best. Find exceptional braai recipes for steak, chicken, lamb and more – there’s no need to eat badly braaied food ever again.

magazine cape town

magazine cape town

June 2016

29

calendar

Access an extended calendar online at

childmag.co.za or submit an event for July before 27 May to capetown@childmag. co.za

what’s on in june Compiled by MARINA ZIETSMAN

Underwater Photographer of the Year 2016 Until 30 October you can view a selection of over 40 photos from all over the world taken by photographers exploring the underwater world. South African Pier Mane, who was the winner of the Up and Coming Underwater Photographer of the Year this year, also exhibits. It’s at the Chavonnes Battery Museum, Clock Tower Precinct, V&A Waterfront. Family tickets for 4 are R200, adults pay R70, and pensioners, students, Wild Card and Red Bus ticket holders and children 16 years and younger pay R30. Children under 6 years old enter free. For more info: 021 416 6230 or info@chavonnesbattery.co.za

1 3

Soup, Sip and Bread Festival Twelve prestigious wine farms that make up the

Durbanville Wine Valley take part in the festival. Each winery is celebrating the start of winter with a unique offering of wines, soups, artisan breads, winter inspired culinary treats, live music and special dining experiences.

2

Wacky Wine Weekend

Over 40 wineries, boutique wineries and tourist establishments showcase the Robertson valley’s award-winning wines over these four days. Visitors can explore the valley, enjoy all the fun-filled wine activities, outdoor adventures, live music, fine dining and a myriad of entertainment for children. It starts at 10am and is on until 5 June at participating wine farms in the Robertson Wine Valley. Tickets are R150 and for more on the programme contact 023 626 3167, admin@robertsonwinevalley.com or wackywineweekend.com

Try Rugbytots Durbanville

11

Each winery has its own charm with entertainment for adults and children alike. Visit the Durbanville Hills website for a full programme. The festival is from 10am–7pm and is on until 5 June. Cost of activities varies and for more info contact 083 310 1228, info@durbanvillewine.co.za or

Rugbytots is a fun and energetic rugby-specific play programme for young boys and girls that has been designed to enhance your child’s physical and social skills. Make use of today’s free taster at 9am for 2–3.5 year olds and 9:30am for 3.5–6 year olds. There is also a free trial class on 18 June. Both classes take place at Durbanville Rugby Club, 1 Sport Way. To book, contact 072 275 6990 or richard@rugbytots.co.za

durbanvillewine.co.za

Parent talk Sr Alex Turner talks about “When to call the doctor or get emergency care”. Parents of small babies and toddlers welcome. Booking essential.

The talk is from 9am–10am at the Kids Clinic, 11 Rottingdean Rd, Camps Bay and it costs R50. Contact 021 438 0020 for more info.

16

Celebrate the Youth Day public holiday with a run between the vineyards, stunning views and a singletrack in the Simonsberg Conservancy. There are youth categories in every distance for this family event. It starts at 7:30am at Dirtopia Trail Centre, Delvera Farm, on the R44 about 10km from Stellenbosch and the costs vary.

For more info contact 021 884 4752 or info@dirtopia.co.za

16

Under 18s only exhibition

Under 18s only is designed to develop children’s individual tastes for art and to encourage them to start their own art collections. Parents, grandparents, aunts and older siblings may obtain a certificate via the AVA Gallery’s crowdfunding campaign on Thundafund, for an under 18 to make their first art purchase at the AVA Mezzanine gallery, which for the duration of the exhibition is accessible strictly to under 18s only.

Print Project 2016, taking place simultaneously with Under 18s only, with the support of Strauss & Co, is an exhibition of print works including a hands-on printing project in a large variety of printing techniques.

Workshops will be hosted during the day for children, and for adults in the early evening. The exhibition runs from 10am–5pm Monday–Friday, and 10am–1pm Saturday until 16 July at AVA Gallery, 35 Church St. The exhibition is free and the 3-day print making workshops are R350. Contact: 021 424 7436 or admin@ava.co.za

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June 2016

19 Father’s Day

celebration at Franschhoek Motor Museum

From 9am celebrate Father’s day at the Franschhoek Motor Museum on the L’Ormarins Estate with a parade of vintage cars, a food market and wine tastings. Dads receive free entry, but these must be booked. There are two booking times. For more info contact 021 874 9000 or book tickets through webtickets.co.za. Tickets are R50. The museum is at L’Ormarins Wine Estate, R45, Grootdrakenstein Rd.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHs and illustrations: SHUTTERSTOCK.com | PHOTOGRAPH OF VINTAGE CAR: Nejron Photo/Shutterstock.com

13

Youth Day trail run

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June 2016

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calendar

23

SPCA book sale Last year the SPCA raised

over R90 000. This year they aim to again raise much-needed funds for their organisation by selling various genre of books including many children’s books at low prices. The sale starts at 9am until 26 June on the upper level, entrance 5, Vide-e-Court at Canal Walk. Entry is free.

For more info contact 074 580 6022 or awareness@spca-ct.co.za

Stars in the city

Enjoy a range of live shows these school holidays at N1 City Mall until 3 July from 12pm–1pm. Offering fun for the whole family, the shows range from popular local characters to jugglers and magicians.

The shows are geared towards children 5–12 years old, and entry is free. For more info go to n1citymall.co.za

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June 2016

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24

Indigenous Flowers and other ballet

Today and on 25 June at 8pm you can watch this colourful performance. On 26 June is an early show at 3pm. The programme includes The Struggle, Yesterday, Creatures of the Seashore, which includes penguins, seagulls and crabs. The Indigenous Flower Ballet includes a colourful floral display of beautifully costumed junior and senior dancers performing to original music. It takes place at Theatre On Main Tokai, 1 Church Rd, Tokai On Main and costs R100. For more info 021 715 9510 or info@theatreonmain.co.za

27Noddy

Noddy, a little wooden toy who nods his head, is very lonely at Mr. Carver the toymaker’s workshop, so he runs away to Toyland. There he bumps into Big Ears who wants to know who he is as he does not look like a toy. Only toys are allowed to stay in Toyland. The audience must decide whether Noddy is a toy or not.

Noddy learns the value of friendship, hard work and honesty through a series of adventures and building his own house in Toyland. Before the show there will be exciting activities such as face painting, colouring in, puzzles, play tents and black bikes to ride. The show runs until 9 July (except 2 July) at 10:30am at Theatre

open days Kidz Discovery Meet and Greet Their registered Bridging BrightStart school also offers baby and toddler preschool preparedness classes with moms. If you’re interested in enrolling your child, join them on 9 June from 2pm. Email your and your child’s details to arrange a suitable time slot to info@kidzdiscovery. co.za or 083 654 2494 Nsansa Montessori School The school is introducing their toddler group for 2017. They’re also taking applications for existing preschool classes on 1 June from 2:30pm–4:30pm. They’re in Harfield Village, 139 1st Ave, Kenilworth.

For more info: 021 683 3458 or dfloquet@gmail.com

Foyer, Artscape Theatre and tickets cost R60–R80. For more info 021 410 9800 or artscape.co.za

magazine cape town

holiday activities Artjamming winter holiday programme At the V&A Waterfront store children can engage with activities under supervision every Monday to Friday. Mondays and Thursdays children 8 months–4 years can enjoy messy play and a puppet show 10am–11:30am.

Tuesdays children 5–13 years old do artjamming and “crumbs and cream” 10am–12pm. Wednesdays children 5–13 years old do paintball jamming 10am– 12pm. Fridays children 5–13 years old take part in a colouring-in workshop 10am– 12pm. It costs R165–R220 and for more 021 462 1573

Artjamming winter holiday programme (Willowbridge) Every Monday and Thursday children 5–13 years old enjoy a colouring-in workshop 10am–12pm. Every Tuesday and Friday children 8 months–4 years old take part in messy play and enjoy music 10am– 11:30am. On Wednesdays children 5–13 years old do paintball jamming 10am– 12pm. These sessions can be booked from 27 June to 8 July and cost R165– R220. Artjamming Willowbridge is on Carl Cronje Ave, Tygervalley. For more info 021 462 1573 Circus holiday workshop A circus holiday workshop for children 6–13 years old with The Silk Circus Workshop. Children learn juggling, acrobatics, contortion,

magazine cape town

human pyramid building, aerial silks, hammock and more. Circus activities build confidence, team spirit, coordination, muscle tone and flexibility. Booking essential. It runs from 27 June–1 July, 9am–12pm and costs R650. It takes place at Erin Hall, 8 Erin Rd, Rondebosch. For more info 073 273 3538 or thesilkworkshop@gmail.com

Cricket School of Excellence holiday clinic They offer cricketing fun covering all aspects of the game for 4–13 year olds from 27–29 June at 9am–1pm.

The clinic is at the UCT Indoor Sport Centre. For more info 086 112 3273 or adam@cricketschool.co.za Kids Shack holiday care 29 June– 13 July: arts and crafts Wednesdays 10:30am, 29 June–13 July: puppet show Wednesdays 3:30pm; 30 June–14 July: treasure hunt Thursdays 10:30am; 1, 8 and 15 July baking Fridays at 10:30am.

Booking is essential. It’s for children 2–10 years old and it costs R60 per activity, which includes unlimited free playtime and use of the facilities. The Kids Shack is on the cnr Kemms Rd and Fleming Rd, Wynberg. Contact them on 083 380 9951 or thekidsshack@cre8tivekids.co.za

from 9am–12pm. Booking essential.

The workhops take place at the Cape Town Science Centre, 370B Main Rd, Observatory and costs R600 for three days.

For more info 021 448 8516 or info@ ortsacape.org.za

from 27 June–15 July, Monday–Friday from

Prehistoric themed holiday club

Swimming progress holiday clinic

Expand your knowledge about dinosaurs through fossil digging. Learn about different time periods and what lived in them, as well as more about continents and the weather. They’re open from 27 June–15 July, Monday–Friday from 8am–5pm. Half-day is from 8am–12:30pm for R100, including snacks and full day from 8am–5pm, R150 including snacks.

Register by 15 June. The venue is Nurture Zone, 110 De Keur St, Vierlanden, Durbanville. For registration, email olga. lipkovics@gmail.com

Robotics and aviation workshop Children in Grade1–4 learn to make crocodiles, boats, tops spin, what makes aeroplanes fly, about electronics and more from 9am–12pm, 29 June– 1 July. Booking essential. It’s R600 for the three days and it’s at the Cape Town Science Centre, 370B Main Rd, Observatory. For more info 021 448 8516 or info@ortsacpe.cp.za

7am–6pm. The costs are: 7am–1pm R65, 7am–3pm R75 and 7am–6pm R85. The nursery is at 26 Howard Dr in Meadowridge and you can contact them on 021 712 5657 or sunnyskies@mweb.co.za Sign up for 2, 3 or 5 day clinics consisting of daily 20 minute one-on-one lessons for all ages and all levels in a warm, indoor pool. The clinic runs from 27 June–1 July and 11–15 July. Book a slot between 9am–6pm. The clinic is at Headstart Swim School, 104 Queen Victoria Rd, Claremont and it’s R170 per clinic. Book through headstartswim@gmail.com

Ten-day learn to swim programme Book a lesson a day for two weeks and learn to swim on this crash course. Book a slot from 9am, Monday–Friday. Toddlers also welcome. It costs R750 for the course at Flippers Swim School, 8 Oxford Rd, Observatory. To book, call 083 747 9196

The Kids Cooking Club holiday club Children 3–15 years old keep busy in the kitchen. Book a time slot between 9:30am–4pm, 27 June–15 July, Monday– Friday. The Kids Cooking Club is at Stodels Garden Centre, Doordrift Rd, Constantia.

Mindstorms robotics holiday workshops Children in Grade 5–9

Sunny Skies Nursery holiday care

Costs are R140 per child, R130 per extra

work in teams building and programming Mindstorms robots 29 June–1 July

Children 2–8 years old do holiday craft activities they can take home. They’re open

sibling thereafter. Contact: 082 303 1764 or info@thekidscookingclub.co.za

June 2016

33

finishing touch

wise beyond their years ANÉL LEWIS dreads the day her children start asking questions about the birds and the bees. Her five year old is already going through a

he question came out of the blue one morning. “Mom, why did you choose to have Conor?”

I looked at Erin, now five years old (going on 15), and thought she was probably bemoaning the fact that she had to share the TV room with a boy sibling interested in only watching movies with cars or trains.

“Would you have preferred a sister instead of a brother?” I asked.

Without missing a beat, she replied: “No Mom, I didn’t need either. I was quite happy on my own.”

Poor Conor didn’t seem too upset by his sister’s disdain for his existence. He was more concerned about how he had managed to eat while he was in my stomach for nine months.

I just love how uncomplicated the universe is for him.

Erin, on the other hand, seems to be pondering the mysteries of life at the moment.

Another humdinger that came at me while I was driving to school, innocently singing along to UB40’s “I got you, babe”, was “Mom, when you go to heaven, will you be up there as a grown-up, or will you go back to being a baby again?”

Wowzer, that was a tough issue to grapple with before my second cup of coffee. When I asked her which she would prefer, she was quiet for a few seconds before replying, “ I want you to stay as an adult so that you can still be my mom when I get there.”

While Erin appears to be having some sort of a mini-existential crisis, Conor’s more focused on the practicalities of things. While looking at one of our wedding photos, he said to me, “So, Mom, did you marry Dad?” I assured him that yes, that is exactly what I was

Erin, Anél and Conor

doing in that white get-up on a beach in May. After dealing with Erin’s questions, I expected Conor to then probe further about the meaning of marriage, life and the universe.

But thankfully, he only wanted to find out about the decor. “So, you had flowers, hey?”

“Um, yes, my boy,” I replied nervously.

“Looks like a nice day then, Mom.” And that was that.

But I wasn’t off the hook just yet. It only took a few seconds for Erin to ask, “Mom, will you get married to Dad again? I really don’t want another brother.”

Despite Erin’s apparent fear of another sibling being added into the mix – which is about as likely as a certain politician paying back all the money – she is fiercely protective of her younger brother, and vice versa.

Conor gets his pronouns confused, so he’s very concerned if his “brother” is sent to time-out. The two still share a bedroom, even though Conor has a perfectly good bed just across the hall.

And when Erin gets too deep, and starts mulling over the big life questions, it’s Conor who helps her put things back into perspective.

“You’re my brother, hey Erin? I love you.”

And suddenly, the universe makes perfect sense again.

Anél Lewis is becoming as adept as a politician at dodging questions from out of left field while stuck in rush-hour traffic. She’s just wondering what’s going to happen when the inevitable “birds and the bees” queries start coming.

PHOTOGRAPH: Susie Leblond Photography

t

mini-existential crisis…

next month in july is our “bumper holiday” issue on street 17 june

we look at... planning your next family getaway: from travelling when pregnant to affordable family adventures in asia playing nice for moms and dads date night inspiration for mom and dad and the niggles that make parents fight health issues and children ✻✻ when they suffer from somatic symptoms ✻✻ post-traumatic stress disorder ✻✻ gluten-, sugar- and dairy-free recipes

plus

our education focus:

the importance of learning a second language

To advertise call: (021) 465 6093 or email: ctsales@childmag.co.za | Booking deadline: 1 June | Material deadline: 2 June 34

June 2016

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

also: successful parenting in a world of screens

a good read

books

for preteens and teens Archie Greene and the Magician’s secret

By D.D Everest

for toddlers Daisy Saves the Day

By Shirley Hughes

for preschoolers I am Alex

By Elena Agnello and Adrie le Roux

(Published by Faber and Faber, R206) Even though it’s his birthday, Archie Greene is not expecting the mysterious package that turns up at his front door. Nor the “special instructions” that comes with it. He’s about to uncover an extraordinary family secret, along with enchanted bookshelves...

parenting book Your Babycare Bible Contributing editor: Dr A.J.R Waterston

(Published by Walker Books, R166) Young Daisy Dobbs wants to attend school, but there is just not enough money. So she starts work as a scullery maid in a grand house. She works as hard as she can to try and please her stern employers. But her greatest moment comes when disaster strikes, and only Daisy can save the day. And maybe return to school...

(Published by Bumble Books, R135) This uniquely South African book tells the story of Alex having a birthday party and all her friends are coming to celebrate. And what a diverse lot they are! This is a great book to enlighten children up to eight years old about the wonders of diversity. Bumble Books, an imprint of Print Matters recently won Best Children’s Publisher 2016: Africa Region at the Bologna Children’s Book Fair.

(Published by Hamlyn, R283) This is a comprehensive and up-to-the-minute guide to caring for babies. The book contains everything you need to know about parenting a baby from newborn to the age of three. The book also contains recipes, parenting tips and medical facts.

for us There should have been Five

By MJ Honikman

for early-graders Taylor’s Birthday Surprise

By Jean Archary

(Published by Tafelberg, R130) There were 354 000 South Africans of all races, including women, who volunteered to serve in South Africa’s defence force and nursing services in the fight against Hitler, the Nazis and the Italian Fascists in World War Two. This book tells of one of these men, Job Maseko, whose heroic deed was almost forgotten for 50 years: he managed to destroy a German vessel with a home-made bomb while imprisoned in Tobruk.

for us Switched at Birth

By Jessica Pitchford

(Published by Staging Post, R150) This is the first book in the series Mrs Spiggles and her Money Tales. Mrs Spiggles is a flying piggy bank, and through this series the author wants to share some important money messages. In this book Mom invites Mrs Spiggles to Taylor’s seventh birthday party. Here Taylor learns from Mrs Spiggles about how her parents earn money and the importance of budgeting. This book will help parents explain financial concepts and communicate important money information to children in a fun and entertaining way. To buy the book, visit Facebook: Mrs Spiggles and her Money Tales or megabooks.co.za

for early-graders Notebook Doodles: Flowers

By Jess Volinski (Published by Random House Struik, R128) This book has 30 fun notebook doodle flower designs that are just waiting to be filled with colour. There are also 20 inspiring colour palettes to help you get started. Use watercolours, coloured pencils, markers, crayons, gel pens – your choice – they will all look great on this high-quality, extra-thick paper.

(Published by Jonathan Ball Publishers, R149) In 1990, two South African mothers were faced with an impossible choice. Should they surrender the child they had lovingly raised in order to get back the baby they had given birth to? The two moms were unable to give up their two year old sons when the facts were revealed, and decided to try to make their strange relationship work. But some decisions can never be unmade.

for dads Ka-boom!

By Gareth Crocker (Published by Red Crocker, R201) This is a story for men and boys about never coming of age and for the women who want to know why. Gareth’s story is almost everyone’s story. It’s about the small moments and the big events that make up life. About the few victories and the many defeats, the adventures and the calamities. The missteps and the madness.