P r e t o r i a’ s
b e s t
g u i d e
f o r
pa r e n t s
let’s party issue celebrate in style
choose your theme party like a pro remember your manners
www.childmag.co.za
June 2016
free
health
+ happy father’s day
be an even greater dad
education
look after your health, guys
entertainment
Hunter House P UB L IS H ING
Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za
Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • pretoria@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Lucille Kemp
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Child magazine Online
Let’s party! Ah, how wonderful to once again bring you our annual Let’s Party issue! As usual it is crammed with colourful inspiration as well as easy, practical solutions for your child’s next birthday celebration. With the cold winter months ahead, we know you’ll love the themes we have chosen, perfect for in- or outdoor parties. Last night, on learning that I had my note still to write, my youngest daughter, a pro party planner in her own right, offered her thoughts. “Mom, it’s all about balance. Children should be allowed to give their input when it comes to the planning, but not too much, ‘cause at the end of the day, it’s the parent who pays the bills and does all the work”. Pearls of wisdom I tell you, at such a tender age. I took the hint and have to admit that my enthusiasm for all things party may overshadow the real reason for celebration; the uniqueness of my child and her needs on her special day. Next year, my New Year’s resolution will most certainly be striving for balance and carefully consulting my daughters on what’s really important, on their red-letter day.
Lisa Mc Namara Publisher
Pretoria’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 5,
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But our June issue is not only about birthdays and gift-giving. This month we celebrate dads too. Sadly mine died a few years back. He was kind, strong, loyal to his family and incredibly loving. If I had a wish granted on my birthday, it would be to spend one more day with my dad, to see him smile, and know that I was loved. Surely no other gift comes close? Happy Father’s day to all the wonderful dads out there.
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please recycle
June 2016
3
contents 10
be an even better dad
3 a note from lisa
regulars
6 over to you readers respond
8 best for baby – noisy newborns babies do snore, but when should you
features
be concerned about Obstructive Sleep
10 be an even better dad raising a child can be hard work. Mark van Dijk gives powerful tips for dads to help them do a decent job
Apnoea? By Lucille Kemp
9 pregnancy news – tricky to treat Anél Lewis finds out which meds are safe to take when feeling under
12 man up annual health checkups
the weather while pregnant
can help men stay healthy longer. Tamlyn Vincent explains why
17 a good read books for the whole family to enjoy
14 rethinking experimentation Gary Koen gives us the hard facts on the dangers of marijuana
16 the gift of failure should we give our children the space to make mistakes and learn from the experience? Samantha Page investigates
23 planning do’s and don’ts
18 resource – let’s party! our annual party guide is here to inspire you to make your child’s birthday party a lasting memory. Compiled by Simone Jeffery
24 what’s on in june 26 finishing touch Anél Lewis is already
Anél Lewis shares her experiences
wary of the day her children start asking
on party etiquette and the
questions about the birds and the bees
related conundrums
26 next month in child magazine
health 6 taking vitamin b Marina Zietsman
classified ads
looks at the importance of vitamin B and if it helps to supplement
26 family marketplace
Joburg
Sarah-Jane Photography sarahjanephotography.co.za
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June 2016
Cape Town
Megan Hancock Photography meganhancockphotography.co.za
Pretoria
Durban
Shutterstock shutterstock.com
Megan Hancock Photography meganhancockphotography.co.za
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PHOTOGRAPH: sarahjanephotography.co.za
this month’s cover images are supplied by:
magazine pretoria
June 2016
5
health
the “popular” one
taking vitamin b
Vitamin B12, also called cobalamin, converts our food into fuel, allowing us to stay energised and function throughout the day. It also aids in the production of DNA and red blood cells, it restores bone marrow and the lining of the respiratory and gastrointestinal tracts, maintains the health of the nervous system and spinal cord and helps to prevent megaloblastic anaemia (a lack of healthy red blood cell production).
signs of deficiency It is believed that there is a lot of undetected vitamin B12 deficiency sufferers out there. Annelize Zeelie, a registered dietician based in Randburg, says, “A vitamin B12 deficiency can lead to tiredness and fatigue due to megaloblastic anaemia.” If not treated, it can cause incontinence, weight loss, shortness of breath, poor circulation, forgetfulness and confusion, psychosis and hallucinations, tremors (unintentional, rhythmic muscle movement) and depression. “In infants a vitamin B12 deficiency can cause a unique neurological problem called infantile tremor syndrome, where the child gets tremors and milestones can be delayed if the condition is prolonged,” says Zeelie.
Vitamin B12 has many health benefits, but its main function is to keep the nerve and blood cells healthy. MARINA ZIETSMAN digs deeper to find out more about this life-saving vitamin and if it helps to supplement.
who is at risk? A vitamin B12 deficiency is more common in older people (age 60-plus), but other potential candidates include those on all levels of vegetarianism (including newborns of vegan/vegetarian moms); those that suffer from pernicious anaemia, an autoimmune condition; when the stomach lining is thinning due to disease; after surgery to the stomach or small intestine; those suffering from digestive conditions such as Crohn’s disease; and, people on certain medication such as certain diabetes drugs and some antacid medication.
how to counter it It’s important to note that no plant can make or store vitamin B12 and it can only be found in animal foods. Zeelie suggests the following to get your daily dose: meat, chicken, fish, eggs, milk, yoghurt and cheese. “Vegans who exclude
all animal products from their diet may require a source of vitamin B12 either from a supplement providing the recommended daily allowance, fortified food, nutritional yeast or a reliable plant source modified to contain a biological, active source of vitamin B12,” says Zeelie. She adds that it’s important for children to get a variety of foods in their diet to help them get the energy and nutrients that they need for normal growth and development. “Aim for three to four food groups in a meal,” suggests Zeelie. For her list of nutritional, vegetarian meals rich in vitamins, including B12, visit childmag.co.za/vegetarian-child
is a diagnosed deficiency and other medical obstacles, such as an absorption problem, and a medical practitioner administers it in the correct dose. If you do suspect a deficiency, a fairly simple blood test can determine whether you should look at your diet or supplementation. If your diet is restrictive, speak to a registered dietician for advice, or your healthcare practitioner if you do consume enough vitamin B12 in your diet, but still have a deficiency.
vitamin B12 myths ✻✻ There is no proof that it can aid in the development of children with autism or ADHD. These children are usually picky eaters, and can have a deficiency in several vitamins and nutrients. Supplementation simply improves their nutrient levels. ✻✻ There’s no evidence that vitamin B12 injections aid weight loss. ✻✻ Vitamin B12 is a water soluble
to supplement or not Zeelie says a definite “yes” to supplementation. “It can be in tablet form or an intramuscular injection”. Though she adds that she would not recommend vitamin B12 shots for children unless there
vitamin, meaning if you have any excess in your body, the body simply excretes excess amounts in the urine. Thus supplementing over and above a sufficient diet or sufficient levels of vitamin B, will not boost your energy levels.
letters
over to you feminism recreated I really enjoyed reading the article “feminism and motherhood” (May 2016), as it struck a chord with my beliefs, and created some much needed, though goodhearted, debate in my home. I know there are many women that suffer due to abuse and a lot of wrongs should still be righted in workplaces all over the world, but for me feminism comes down to one word: choice – personal choice, to be exact. As a human being one should be allowed to make choices, within reason obviously, regarding one’s own life, without having to be subjectified, compartmentalised or categorised. I know gay couples with children, single moms with children, large families with seven children – and all these people are different, happy, secure, and made these choices, because that is what they wanted and what makes them content. Within these familial confines, lie individuals who are strongly outspoken about women’s rights, who are politically active citizens, who are vegetarian, who knit jerseys for the under privileged, who live for their careers… All strong women, who made a choice and tackle day-to-day problems with their children with all Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine
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June 2016
Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.
the knowledge and energy and love they can muster. If that is feminism, then long live feminism. Carol Leon
your voice online in response to “raising children of privilege” This is an awesome feature and with research well done. The majority of parents who are able to provide more than basics for their children, feel that they are doing enough and thus invest more time in earning an income to support their provider role. Parents themselves who have suffered from a lack of active parenting, and who do not possess the nature to improve their parenting, tend to fall into the trap of materialism. It is important that we always check our personal stance on parenting, and understanding of parenting principles, with our peers. It is not a matter of not knowing, but rather a matter of ensuring eyes are on the right ball, or else facing our children going astray or, even worse, suffering from all these preventable challenges. Meshack Kekana
thanks for the assistance I have been helping my daughter with her science fair project, but we were having a hard time finding good ideas. As we were looking around for some inspiration, we found your page, childmag.co.za/content/kitchenscience. Sarah and I want to say “thank you” as this article has been a huge help. Sarah loves science so, while looking for some good experiments and activities she could do at home, we stumbled onto homeadvisor.com – they have a section called Science Experiments For All Around Your Home (just type this into your Google search bar). We thought to share this page, as it would be helpful for others looking for at-home science activities and experiments. Tonya and Sarah subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions. To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za
We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.
Post a comment online at childmag.co.za
magazine pretoria
magazine pretoria
June 2016
7
best for baby
noisy
newborns LUCILLE KEMP learns that if you have a snoring baby, know when to take matters further by being aware of the markers of Obstructive Sleep Apnoea.
when to worry Paediatricians will tell you that babies generally tend to be noisy breathers because their airways are narrow and filled with lots of bubbly secretions. The air passing through these, cause many different vibratory sounds in the soft tissues of the airway, resulting in snoring. Most of the time, these sounds subside as your baby’s airways grow and he learns to swallow excess saliva. However, Rosman says if your baby’s snoring is also accompanied by gasping and, according to the National Sleep Foundation in the USA, the snoring is loud, they are probably battling to take in air because the throat is narrowed or blocked, keeping sufficient air from getting into the windpipe and lungs. This amounts to the sleep disorder Obstructive Sleep Apnoea (OSA). “Various studies around the world have shown that about 1% to 4% of babies suffer from sleep apnoea and medically that’s quite common,” says Rosman. If gone untreated it may worsen, diminishing your child’s quality of life and, at worst, can be life-threatening.
find the cause and treat Joburg-based ENT Dr Maurice Hockman says that problematic snoring needs an accurate, anatomical and medical assessment, which is why Rosman recommends you steer away from home testing and rather seek an in-hospital diagnosis by booking an appointment with an ENT. If a sleep disorder is suspected, a sleep specialist who has special training in sleep medicine, will perform a polysomnogram, which can help to determine if your child has sleep apnoea or another problem. This test records your child’s sleeping patterns to determine a diagnosis, including their brain waves, body movements, heartbeat, breathing patterns, arousals and noises. While obesity, allergies, acid reflux and structural abnormalities in the head and neck, such as a deviated nasal septum, can contribute to sleep apnoea, Rosman says that the number one cause for sleep apnoea in babies is enlarged tonsils and often adenoids too, which block the flow of air through the throat and impair a child’s ability to breathe. A treatment for sleep apnoea that has shown to have a very high success rate in children, says Rosman, is tonsillectomy, the surgical procedure of removing tonsils as well as a procedure called adenotonsillectomy, which is when both the tonsils and adenoids are removed. Children can have had their adenoids removed at around 11 to 12 months of age. Generally ENTs will only remove tonsils in children from three years of age, however tonsillectomy has been performed on children, who need to be treated for OSA, at one year of age. But it’s still best to speak directly with your ENT and find out what their recommendations are. In a small percentage of cases the symptoms of a baby’s sleep apnoea are treated using CPAP, or Continuous Positive Airway Pressure, which treats by using mild air pressure to keep the airways open. It is often used on premature babies, so it is safe for infants.
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June 2016
the far-reaching effect of sleep-disordered breathing There are findings that support the idea that the sleep-disordered breathing of Obstructive Sleep Apnoea is actually aiding behavioural problems in children. The National Sleep Foundation (USA) explains the mechanics of this, “Interruptions in breathing during sleep can cause the brain to ‘wake up’ to some extent, even if the sleeping person is not aware of it. These repeated interruptions disturb the sleep patterns that are essential to a good night’s sleep and are thought to be the reason why daytime behaviour might be affected by poor breathing during the night.”
Not every child that snores suffers from sleep apnoea, but every child that has sleep apnoea will snore. Think of your mood after a night or several nights of restless sleep – you’ll battle to wake up in the morning, you might suffer from headaches and will be sleep deprived, which will affect your ability to focus. You most likely will be irritable and agitated causing you to become short-tempered and aggressive or feel overwhelmed. It is quite similar for a baby, who needs to sleep 16 to 20 hours in a day in order to thrive. Older children in a structured environment where they are required to concentrate to learn new things will also struggle when sleep deprived. Research has revealed the profound role tonsils play in a child’s functioning. A rigorous, highly respected study was published in Pediatrics in 2006 where it was found that children who have surgery to remove their tonsils are very likely to behave and sleep better, one year later. Data was collected from testing sleep and breathing at night, and attention and behaviour during the day. About half of the children in the study who were found to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) before tonsil surgery no longer met criteria for this diagnosis one year later. Other cognitive and behavioural issues also improved. The body of evidence on this issue suggests that a significant number of children with inattention, hyperactivity or sleepiness during the day and sleep-breathing problems at night, may benefit from a tonsillectomy.
home remedies for first relief Saline nasal spray If your baby’s nose seems stuffy, squirt a few salt-water drops into their nose at least once a day. Most pharmacies sell it. Nasal aspirator This will suck out excess secretions gently. Warm mist vaporiser To humidify the air in your baby’s bedroom. You can also stand in a warm bathroom with your baby, as the humidified air loosens excess secretions in the airway. Do this just before bedtime. Allergy-proof Remove allergens from your baby’s bedroom such as items that collect dust and animal fur.
magazine pretoria
PHOTOGRAPH: Annelise Singh
n
ot every child that snores suffers from sleep apnoea, but every child that has sleep apnoea will snore. For Dr Kevin Rosman, a neurologist with 20 years’ experience in sleep medicine and director of the Morningside Sleep Centre in Joburg, sleep apnoea is an important health issue. Because if your baby does suffer from it, they’ll snore because their airways are restricted and can’t be cleared with a simple nasal saline.
pregnancy news
tricky to treat Popping a pill for pain is not always an option during pregnancy.
m
ANÉL LEWIS finds out what is safe to take when you’re expecting.
ost of us think nothing of taking an aspirin at the onset of a headache, or sipping a hot toddy to keep the sniffles at bay. But when you’re pregnant, you have to bear in mind that any medication you take may put your baby at risk of developing birth defects.
the golden rule
PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com
When it comes to medication and pregnancy, Dr Susan Shelton, a Cape Town-based general practitioner, says pregnant women should always check with their doctors before taking anything. The safety of all medication during pregnancy depends on several factors, including the stage of the pregnancy. “Always check with your doctor first,” she advises. The internet has no shortage of online advice about what medications and ingredients could be safe to take, but doctors and chemists agree that the golden rule is always to consult a medical expert. You must know the possible risks so that you can decide whether they outweigh the benefits of taking the medication. Also note that medications that are not safe to take during pregnancy are generally not suitable for breastfeeding women either, as they could pass through breast milk to the baby.
chronic conditions However, not taking medication if you have a chronic condition can, in some instances, be as dangerous as taking the wrong medication during pregnancy. According to the American Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, pregnant women should not stop taking any medication without first talking to their doctor. The same goes for women who plan to fall pregnant. The sudden cessation
magazine pretoria
of antidepressants, for example, could put the mother at risk. However, some antidepressant medications could have risks for the foetus and newborn, and expectant women should always consult their doctors or consider alternative treatments to manage their condition during pregnancy. This would also apply to women with asthma, hypertension and auto immunodeficiency diseases. While research indicates that acetaminophens for pain relief do not seem to increase the risks of major birth defects in the first trimester, there’s not enough evidence about the use of painkillers or opioids during pregnancy. Some studies indicate a higher risk of birth defects, such as spina bifida, with the use of these drugs.
that contain pseudoephedrine and phenylephrine, as these could affect blood flow to the placenta. Most medicines come with the following warning in the package insert: “If you are pregnant or breastfeeding your baby please consult your doctor or pharmacist.” Never take more than the recommended dose and consider other treatment options, especially during the first trimester when the baby is particularly vulnerable. Rather consider non-medicinal treatments such as toddy with only hot water, ginger and lemon, or saline drops for a blocked nose.
fight the flu The United States Food and Drug Administration’s (FDA) stance is that prescription and over-the-counter medicines containing nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), opioids and acetaminophen carry potential risks and should be used with caution. Acetaminophen is a common ingredient in fever-alleviating medication, including treatment for colds, flu and allergies. However, the FDA says there is a risk of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children whose mothers used this medicine when pregnant. Medicines containing nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) or opioids, such as codeine, come with a risk of miscarriage in the first trimester. Research has indicated that opioids could cause birth defects of the brain, spine or spinal cord. Over-the-counter remedies should not be used for protracted periods and preferably only in consultation with a healthcare professional. Avoid decongestants
June 2016
9
parenting
be an even
better
dad
It’s one thing to father a child; it’s a lot harder to do a decent job of raising them. Here are five
simple but powerful tips to help you on your way. By MARK VAN DIJK
1
show up
A recent Institute of Race Relations report found that only 36% of young South African children live with both of their biological parents. Most young children (43%) aged up to four years old live with only their biological mother, while 2% live only with their biological dad. So what does this mean for you? Regardless of your marital situation, being a good dad means being around. “A big problem in South African families is children feeling that their dad is just absent,” says Anthony Hawthorn, a social worker at the Family and Marriage Society of South Africa (Famsa) in the Western Cape. For Hawthorn, the key lies in consistency. “Isn’t that the irony? We think that being a good father is making the grand entrance,” he says. “There is far greater power in consistency than in the grand entrance. Your child wants to know that you’re consistent, and that if you say you’re going to do something, that you do it. It speaks to the dynamic that all of us have: we function best in an environment that is predictable and stable. That’s where a lot of dads get it wrong. They do a great job... for a day.”
If you want to be a good father, Hawthorn says, you should start by being a good partner to their mother. One way to do this is to share the child-rearing responsibilities with her, and to realise that, in the modern economy where many homes have dual incomes, the roles of mothers and fathers have started to converge. Despite what your own dad may have told you, modern parenting is no longer divided into What Mom Does and What Dad Does. It’s about What Parents Do. “There is no law written in the heavens that says ‘Mom changes nappies’ or ‘Dad cleans the drain’,” says Hawthorn. “The moment we start to shift that, we’ll create another, different generation where suddenly dad is changing nappies because mom has to clear the drain… or, Dad’s doing the cooking so that Mom can get some work done.” There is a change needed here from both parents, Hawthorn explains: “Often men will find themselves placed in a role that they wouldn’t necessarily take on if it wasn’t expected of them. That might mean being a nurturer. So when your child is crying, it’s about not waiting for your partner to say, ‘I’ll go tend to the child.’ It means getting up and going to comfort your child, so that they see that masculine figures can be gentle and nurturing.”
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… but remember to be dad
There are, of course, some jobs that Mom simply cannot do as well as you. Like, for example, play-fighting. New research has found that a bit of playful rough-and-tumble can play a vital role in a child’s development. Anthony T. DeBenedet, co-author of The Art of Roughhousing (Quirk Books), argues that this kind of physical play helps children develop cognitively, socially and emotionally. And his argument, while counter-intuitive, does make a lot of sense: when your child is counter-attacking the Tickle Monster, they’ll learn to read cues like body language and facial expressions.
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June 2016
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PHOTOGRAPH: sarahjanephotography.co.za | ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
2
share the workload
“Sadly,” writes DeBenedet, “among many of today’s families, roughhousing barely limps along on life support. What was once a motto of ‘Safety First’ has evolved into a fretful new motto of ‘Safety Only’. Many parents are more frightened by skinned knees and bruised feelings than life’s real dangers: stifled creativity and listless apathy.” Play, he says, and especially active physical play like roughhousing, “makes kids smart, emotionally intelligent, lovable and likable, ethical, physically fit, and joyful.” Research from Australia’s University of Newcastle supports the theory. There, researchers found that children get a sense of achievement when they “defeat” a more powerful adult during a play-fight – and this builds their self-confidence and concentration. But don’t go easy on your child: the same Aussie researchers said that fathers who resist their children can also teach them that, in life, you don’t always win.
4
read!
“The sentiment used to be: ‘Make it quality time’,” says Hawthorn. “But a lot of the thinking among educators and psychologists has shifted to now say: ‘It’s not just about quality; it’s also about quantity. Each of us has to etch out a living, so it’s unrealistic to think I can spend every waking moment of my life with my child. But do I spend an hour watching a TV programme at night, or do I spend 20 minutes in my child’s bed, reading a book with them? Those 20 minutes every day give your child a safe place to return to. And what is any child looking to their Dad for? Security. Safety. Predictability.” That quantity/quality time can really be as simple as 20 minutes spent reading bedtime stories. According to a new study from Harvard University, children actually benefit more from their father reading to them. After a year spent researching the impact that parents reading had on their children, Dr Elisabeth Duursma found that girls especially benefited more when read to by a man. “The impact is huge,” she says, “particularly if dads start reading to children under the age of two. Reading is seen as a female activity and children seem to be more tuned in when their dad reads to them. It’s special.”
5
be the dad you wanted
As a father, you’ll naturally reflect on what your own father did well (or not)… and that’s a healthy point to come to, says Hawthorn. “For many men there’s a sense of, ‘I don’t know how to do this, because my dad was never there for me’,” he explains. “That’s often the junction of healing: when the child realises that Dad is only living out what he was taught, and that they need to work together to create something different. So, it becomes a reciprocal process. The child says: ‘I’m going to teach you how to be a dad’, and the father says: ‘I’m going to learn from you, what you need from me’.”
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June 2016
11
health
man up Annual checkups can help you stay healthier for longer. TAMLYN VINCENT looks at when men should schedule a visit to the doctor, and what
m
screenings to have.
en are known for not asking for help. How many men do you know who ask for directions? Or who read instructions before assembling a piece of furniture? Figuring things out on their own is, for the most part, what men do. But when it comes to health checks, asking for help is essential. Missing an early diagnosis isn’t the same as taking a wrong turn – you may not have the chance to turn back when it comes to cancer or cardiovascular disease. A lot of older men, especially those over 50 years old, still need to be encouraged by their partners to visit the doctor, and usually only when there is a problem, says Cape Town GP Dr Jane Benjamin. Younger men are becoming more aware of their health, she says, and are booking routine checks and health screenings. But the Cancer Association of South Africa (Cansa) is encouraging every man to look after his health, to pay attention to changes in his body and to go for regular checkups. Early detection can save you time and money (by avoiding longer, and more expensive treatment) and it can save your life, making the annual checkup a must, especially as you get older. Benjamin says screenings will depend on a man’s age and risk factors, plus “the frequency of screening depends on your individual and family history”. Risk factors, such as a family history of stroke, diabetes, heart disease or cancer, as well as lifestyle, such as increased alcohol intake or not getting enough exercise, may mean checkups need to happen more regularly. Screenings will also focus on two main areas: cardiovascular disease and cancer.
A lot of men still need to be encouraged by their partners to visit the doctor, and usually only when there is a problem. Cardiovascular disease is the leading cause of preventable death says Benjamin, who adds, “80% of stroke and heart disease can be prevented with simple lifestyle measures.” Knowing if you’re at risk is also essential, so you can look out for any problems before they become a real problem. Screenings for cardiovascular conditions will include checks for high blood pressure, cholesterol and blood glucose (diabetes), generally done every year once men reach the age of 40 years old. Annual checkups also give your doctor the chance to discuss your lifestyle factors, says Benjamin, and look at how you can reduce your risk. High blood pressure or hypertension can be dangerous to your heart and other organs. Checking it regularly is essential and you can do this at your annual checkup or at pharmacies or clinics that offer this service. It’s a good idea to check your body-mass index (BMI) at the same time, which indicates whether or not you are overweight. A normal weight to height ratio for men would usually register as a BMI between 18,5 and 25, while
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June 2016
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PHOTOGRAPH AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com
matters of the heart
a BMI higher than 30 could indicate obesity. Being overweight can jeopardise your heart health, and lead to complications like type 2 diabetes. If your doctor is worried that you’re overweight, that your blood pressure is too high, or if you have other risk factors (like a family history, high cholesterol or you smoke), you may need to have your blood glucose tested, regardless of your age. If you’re over 40 years old, you should have your blood glucose checked every year, says Benjamin. The fasting blood glucose test is commonly used, but others include a random blood sugar test, an oral glucose tolerance test or a haemoglobin A1C test, which estimates your average blood sugar levels. High cholesterol is yet another risk factor for cardiovascular disease, adds Benjamin. From 40 years old, men should have their cholesterol checked on a yearly basis. But more regular checks may be needed if you have risk factors such as diabetes, kidney problems or are at risk of heart disease. Blood tests will check your cholesterol levels and your blood triglycerides.
cancer scare If you’re on the road to a long, healthy life, catching cancer early is vital. Screening for cancer aims to detect cancer before symptoms appear, and could include blood tests, urine tests and medical imaging. Testicular cancer more commonly affects younger men, particularly between the ages of 15 and 39, although it can affect anyone. By doing regular examinations, men get to know their bodies and can recognise any changes, says Professor Michael Herbst, a health specialist at Cansa. Cansa recommends that younger men do regular testicular selfexaminations, feeling for any lumps (which can be as small as a grain of rice and often feel firm, like hard rubber), changes in size, or other irregularities. Boys and men can ask their doctor to show them how to do these checks. Aside from general health, dental and eye checks, boys only need to start checking for testicular cancer once they’re about 15 years old. But as men get older, their risk increases, and from 40 onwards, getting that annual checkup is an all-important step in the right direction. “Prostate cancer is one of the leading cancers in South Africa, with one in 27 men having a lifetime risk of diagnosis” reports Cansa. Men over 50 years old should have a routine Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) at least once every two years, says Herbst. For those with a higher risk, annual screening should start between the ages of 40 and 45. The test results will indicate how frequently future tests should be taken. The Digital Rectal Exam, where the doctor examines the prostate through the rectum, should form part of the medical exam for men with a raised PSA reading. Risks for prostate cancer include a family history of the disease, drinking alcohol, not getting enough exercise, and having a poor diet with a high fat and red meat intake. From the age of 50, Benjamin suggests that men should have screening colonoscopies for colon cancer every 10 years. Having a family history, or other risk factors, would mean earlier and more frequent screenings.
following a healthy lifestyle is an important part of disease prevention Get enough exercise
Avoid processed foods
Lose weight, or maintain a healthy weight
Don’t smoke or use tobacco products
Follow a nutritious diet and drink plenty of clean water
Limit your alcohol intake
Cut down on red meat consumption
Go for regular screenings and do self-examinations
If you have signs, symptoms or a personal or family history of any condition, see your GP.
magazine pretoria
June 2016
13
parenting
14
June 2016
Is experimenting with drugs, particularly marijuana, just a harmless rite of passage for teenagers? GARY KOEN gives us some hard truths to ponder about drug use, and challenges us to take a firm stand against experimentation. to have, what kind of activities they enjoy, and what skills they are going to need as adults. In simple terms, the point of experimentation is to learn how to solve problems, not create problems. It’s dangerous for adults, particularly professionals, to misrepresent destructive behaviour as being merely teenage experimentation. Describing behaviour, which is clearly destructive as experimental is irresponsible because in the eyes of the teenager it normalises the experience. Few teenagers recognise that the point of experimentation is to find out more about themselves and to learn from the experience, not to get stuck in
the experimenting. For example, those who may have got violently drunk and escaped with nothing more than a severe headache and bruised pride may be able to learn from the experience and be a bit more circumspect in the future, but not if they believe that the point of being a teenager is to carry on experimenting, paying no attention to the consequences of their behaviour.
the grass is not greener Of particular concern when it comes to experimentation is marijuana. While sex and alcohol are two of the most common things teenagers tend to experiment
with, primarily because sex is natural and alcohol is legal and easily accessible, marijuana follows closely behind. When teenagers are caught smoking grass, the stock answer often given when asked why they did it is that they were experimenting. Somehow this is generally considered a legitimate reason. No one is going to convince me that it is normal for teenagers to start smoking grass. I believe the problem begins with the notion of experimentation, so my question is: where do you draw the line? Is it really okay to try everything once? Is there anyone out there who would like to try a little bit of a car accident? Or who is keen for a little bit of jail time? A popular comeback is that one doesn’t need to experiment with things that are obviously life-threatening or harmful, but this is where things get hazy. The implication is that marijuana is quite harmless – less dangerous than alcohol, better for you than cigarettes. But just because you can grow dope in your backyard doesn’t change the fact that it is
magazine pretoria
Illustration: shutterstock.com
w
hen people casually say, “It’s just teenagers experimenting”, it can sound quite harmless and innocent – even quite fun. “Ag shame, it’s just a couple of teenagers experimenting with some crack cocaine” or “Ah, the sweetness of youth, they were just experimenting with a bit of unprotected sex; they didn’t know they were going to have a baby or catch a lingering disease or be charged with statutory rape.” Experimenting with something known to be dangerous or potentially harmful is not an experiment. It is high-risk behaviour. It’s imperative that we do not excuse what is clearly self-destructive behaviour as being part of “normal teenage experimentation”. What is viewed as so-called normal teenage experimentation refers to an inner striving to learn more about themselves and the world in order to discover who they really are. Teenagers should find out what they like, who they like, what kind of relationships and friendships they want
rethinking experimentation
a drug. Further fuelling the debate are the many adult dope smokers out there who fiercely defend their habit, contesting that their precious weed is nothing but a mere victim of a wider conspiracy designed to protect the alcohol industry, along with the thousands of jobs at stake needed to police, prosecute and rehabilitate its users, suppliers and growers. But while these protests may well have led to the drug’s legalisation in certain US states, this doesn’t mean it is safe or harmless for teenagers to try. Simply put, marijuana is a drug and is as dangerous as alcohol because it has a similar limiting effect on one’s emotional development. Ultimately, it is more psychologically debilitating than alcohol. Not only is it much harder to recognise as a problem and more problematic to give up, but it is also a considerable health hazard. Depending on the potency, one joint is estimated to be the equivalent of about five cigarettes and contains most of the cancer-causing agents found in ordinary tobacco.
magazine pretoria
calculating risk So, what constitutes a successful experiment? If teenagers experiment with grass and happen to like it, does this constitute a successful experiment? This is the inherent risk with all drugs. After all, they are designed to work – they are supposed to make people feel good, hence their enduring, lethal allure. Furthermore, if it’s okay to experiment with grass, what stops them from trying other drugs on offer – cocaine, MDMA, tic or even heroin?
could try to convince themselves that dope is non-addictive. Unfortunately, this too is a fallacy and a very destructive one, because every dope smoker I have ever spoken to says that when they first started experimenting with grass, none of them would have believed that a year later they would be smoking every single day. To make matters worse, because of all the myths about the “natural” effects of marijuana, users seldom seek help because they feel too embarrassed
The point of experimentation is to learn how to solve problems, not create problems. Teenagers who experiment with marijuana and discover that they like the feeling it gives them might just have experimented themselves into a dilemma. They’ve just found out that they enjoy getting high. Now what are they going to do? One option, I suppose, is that they
to be hooked on something that is supposedly harmless. The truth is that it isn’t harmless at all. It erodes their motivation, diminishes their short-term memory, affects their coordination, perception and overall functioning, and generally leaves them
with a feeling of always being somewhat depressed. There are many teenagers whose “experiments” have left them rooted mindlessly on their couches, falling further and further behind their peers as their lives pass them aimlessly by. In some frightening instances, marijuana can precipitate a psychotic episode, where a simple experiment can turn into a lifelong nightmare. So, despite what many people say, marijuana is a mind-altering substance that interferes with one’s reality. It is a drug, and when it comes to drugs and teenagers, there is no such thing as normal experimentation. This is the unambiguous message that professionals, teachers and parents need to be giving our youth. Experimentation is about learning to take risks that will assist in their growth and development, about challenging themselves and learning to differentiate between a valid set of likes and dislikes. It is certainly not about acquiring destructive habits that are likely to cause untold grief in years to come.
June 2016
15
education
From the moment your child is born, you feel compelled to guide and protect him from getting hurt or experiencing failure or
the
gift of
failure
discomfort. But perhaps giving him the freedom to make mistakes will better help him succeed. SAMANTHA PAGE investigates.
y
our Grade 4 child, who hates science, has been set a science project, which is due in three weeks. Do you? A: Set up a timeline for him or her, ensuring the assignment gets done in time. Buy all the required materials, create a workspace and add some biscuits and a glass of milk to make the experience more bearable. B: Let your child figure out what needs to be done and let him or her give you a list of what materials he or she needs to complete the task (sans treats), checking regularly to make sure he or she is on track. C: Pray that it all comes together in the end. If, out of love or a desire to bolster your child’s selfesteem, you picked A, teacher and author of The Gift of Failure Jessica Lahey thinks you’re making a big mistake. Lahey recently told Quartz (qz.com) that not long ago she realised that something was wrong with her parenting and something was amiss with the middle-school students she was teaching. “They wilted in the face of challenge; they didn’t love learning like they used to; parents took bad grades personally and it seemed everyone was unhappy,” Lahey confesses. She continued to be confounded by the root of the problem until she realised that, as parents, we seem to be more worried about raising happy children than competent, autonomous ones. In a study conducted by psychologist Wendy Grolnick, the scientist puts pairs of mothers and children in a room and videotapes them as they play. Grolnick then labels the mothers as either “controlling” or “autonomysupportive,” the latter indicating moms that let children figure things out on their own. Grolnick invites the pairs back and children are put in the room by themselves and asked to perform a task. The children who had controlling moms gave up when they were faced with a task they could not master, while those with autonomysupportive moms did not and instead adopted a problemsolving attitude. Lahey concludes that children raised by controlling parents could not contemplate tasks on their own, but those raised by autonomy-supportive parents stuck with the task even when they became frustrated. These children, who can persevere despite the tasks becoming more difficult, become less dependent on guidance in order to focus, study and organise, and more equipped to run their own life, as they get older. While it’s natural for parents to worry about failure, there are times when it can be productive for children, and present an opportunity to change, says the late child behavioural therapist James Lehman. In his work, Lehman often noted that the Chinese symbol for “crisis” is a combination of the symbols for danger and opportunity: your child has the opportunity to learn a valuable lesson when he experiences the discomfort of his choices. “This could be what happens when you cut corners, when you
don’t do your best at something or experience the reality of not being productive,” said Lehman. “Too much control breeds either resentment or passive compliance,” says KwaZulu-Natal counselling psychologist Dr Rob Pluke. “If we want our children to take ownership of their studies, then we have to concede that they have the right to fail. It’s really their choice. You don’t want your child to think he’s doing his studies for you – that he’s doing you a favour.” By her own admission, Gauteng mom Caroline* and her daughter Jessica* went through some rough waters last year when Jessica was in Grade 4. Caroline seemed to be putting in more time and effort and was running herself ragged trying to keep track of Jessica’s homework, assignments, hockey gear, reply slips and keeping books neat and tidy so her daughter’s teachers would see an organised learner instead of a scattered, disorganised one. “I took my daughter’s bad grades and negative feedback from teacher’s personally because I felt I had failed despite all my efforts. I realised it was time to make some drastic changes to rescue our relationship. Instead of helping to do the work, I felt my input had to be about assisting Jessica to cultivate a different approach to her work,” explains Caroline, a view supported by Pluke who cites the work of world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, who pioneered work on mindset. Dweck believes learners have either a fixed mindset, which is based on a belief that talent and intelligence will bring success, or a growth mindset, which believes basic abilities can be developed through hard work and dedication, and brains and talent are just the starting point. “Moms and dads are better at ‘you can do it’ than ‘this is how you do it’,” says Pluke. “It’s hard learning complex maths from someone you love. This is when the learning environment becomes a forum for tears and frustration.” But what if your child is more prone to fail because of learning deficits, poor executive function and low selfesteem? Couldn’t failure bring more negativity into that child’s life? “It most definitely does,” says Cape Townbased clinical psychologist Fairuz Gaibie. “I have sat with children who have erroneously come to the heart-breaking conclusion that they are just stupid. Here it is important to build on the child’s competencies and provide them with consistent and unconditional love and support. Extramural activities in which they can experience a sense of mastery is vital in these children, as well as praising the child’s character and attributes, such as their kindness, generosity and thoughtfulness. Parents should also make an effort to place more emphasis on a person’s character instead of what is traditionally seen as ‘achievement’. This sends an important message to these children that who they are is more important than any accolade they could acquire.” *Names have been changed
how to talk to your child about failure Whether you and your child are dealing with feelings of discomfort or feelings of failure, there are three simple questions parents can ask their child, says James Lehman.
1
what part did you play in this? That’s what you want your child to learn
because that’s the only behaviour or action he can change. Therein lies the lesson.
2
what are you going to do differently next time?
This is an important question because it will help him see other, healthier ways of responding to his problem.
3
what did you learn from this? Put the responsibility back on your child. It
is better for him to see that his schoolwork is essentially his work; this realisation or idea can be applied to almost every other area of his life too.
16
June 2016
magazine pretoria
ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com
As parents, we seem to be more worried about raising happy children than competent, autonomous ones.
a good read
books
for preteens and teens Archie Greene and the Magician’s secret By D.D Everest
for toddlers Daisy Saves the Day By Shirley Hughes
for preschoolers I am Alex By Elena Agnello and Adrie le Roux
(Published by Faber and Faber, R206) Even though it’s his birthday, Archie Greene is not expecting the mysterious package that turns up at his front door. Nor the “special instructions” that comes with it. He’s about to uncover an extraordinary family secret, along with enchanted bookshelves...
parenting book Your Babycare Bible Contributing editor: Dr A.J.R Waterston
(Published by Walker Books, R166) Young Daisy Dobbs wants to attend school, but there is just not enough money. So she starts work as a scullery maid in a grand house. She works as hard as she can to try and please her stern employers. But her greatest moment comes when disaster strikes, and only Daisy can save the day. And maybe return to school...
(Published by Bumble Books, R135) This uniquely South African book tells the story of Alex having a birthday party and all her friends are coming to celebrate. And what a diverse lot they are! This is a great book to enlighten children up to eight years old about the wonders of diversity. Bumble Books, an imprint of Print Matters recently won Best Children’s Publisher 2016: Africa Region at the Bologna Children’s Book Fair.
(Published by Hamlyn, R283) This is a comprehensive and up-to-the-minute guide to caring for babies. The book contains everything you need to know about parenting a baby from newborn to the age of three. The book also contains recipes, parenting tips and medical facts.
for us There should have been Five By MJ Honikman (Published by Tafelberg, R130) There were 354 000 South Africans of all races, including women, who volunteered to serve in South Africa’s defence force and nursing services in the fight against Hitler, the Nazis and the Italian Fascists in World War Two. This book tells of one of these men, Job Maseko, whose heroic deed was almost forgotten for 50 years: he managed to destroy a German vessel with a home-made bomb while imprisoned in Tobruk.
for early-graders Taylor’s Birthday Surprise By Jean Archary
for us Switched at Birth By Jessica Pitchford
(Published by Staging Post, R150) This is the first book in the series Mrs Spiggles and her Money Tales. Mrs Spiggles is a flying piggy bank, and through this series the author wants to share some important money messages. In this book Mom invites Mrs Spiggles to Taylor’s seventh birthday party. Here Taylor learns from Mrs Spiggles about the importance of budgeting. This book will help parents explain financial concepts and communicate important money information to children in a fun and entertaining way. To buy the book, visit Facebook: Mrs Spiggles and her Money Tales or megabooks.co.za
for early-graders Notebook Doodles: Flowers By Jess Volinski (Published by Random House Struik, R128) This book has 30 fun notebook doodle flower designs that are just waiting to be filled with colour. There are also 20 inspiring colour palettes to help you get started. Use watercolours, coloured pencils, markers, crayons, gel pens – your choice – they will all look great on this high-quality, extra-thick paper. magazine pretoria
(Published by Jonathan Ball Publishers, R149) In 1990, two South African mothers were faced with an impossible choice. Should they surrender the child they had lovingly raised in order to get back the baby they had given birth to? The two moms were unable to give up their two year old sons when the facts were revealed, and decided to try to make their strange relationship work. But some decisions can never be unmade.
for dads Ka-boom! By Gareth Crocker (Published by Red Crocker, R201) This is a story for men and boys about never coming of age and for the women who want to know why. Gareth’s story is almost everyone’s story. It’s about the small moments and the big events that make up life. About the few victories and the many defeats, the adventures and the calamities. The missteps and the madness. June 2016
17
resource
birthday party basics It’s party time! Plan your child’s big day using one of our inspiring themes.
accessories A–Z Creative Entertainment – 011 682 2660 – creative-entertainment.co.za Cosmo Balloons – Waterkloof Glen – 012 998 3596 – baloons@mweb.co.za – cosmo-balloons.co.za
catering Sunrise Sweets – Hermanstad – 012 379 4748 – sunrisesweets.co.za
entertainers Clamber Club Parties – Centurion – 072 267 6890 – headoffice@clamberclub.com – clamberclub.com Spellbound Puppets – 011 615 2768 – spellboundpuppets.com
p 20
team spirit
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June 2016
african safari
indoor venues
Uncle Dum Dum the Magician – 0861 112 876 – info@jkproductions.co.za – jkproductions.co.za
Bounce Inc – 011 517 2500 – enquiries@ bounceinc.co.za – bounceinc.co.za Col’Cacchio Pizzeria – Brooklyn, Centurion, Lynnwood, Olympus and Parkview – 087 803 4000 – colcacchio.co.za Go-Play – Highveld, Centurion – 012 534 3850 – info@go-play.co.za – go-play.co.za Spur Steak Ranches – spur.co.za
equipment hire Bumpy Jumpy Castles – 082 227 8537 – bumpyjumpycastles.co.za Crazy Water Balls – 082 694 9833 crazywaterballs.co.za JK Productions – 086 111 2876 – info@ jkproductions.co.za – jkproductions.co.za
indoor & outdoor venues
fancy dress
Cedar Junction Theme Park – Zwavelpoort, Pretoria East – 012 811 1183 – bookings@cedarjunction.co.za – cedarjunction.co.za Taste Life Café – Faerie Glen – 083 276
Scrooge and Marley’s – Doringkloof – 012 667 2287, 084 804 0490 – scroogescostumes@gmail.com – scroogeandmarleys.co.za
Download your party-planning checklist from childmag.co.za/downloads
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4658 – monique@tastelifecafe.co.za – tastelifecafe.co.za The Collection – Garsfontein – 012 993 3638 – info@thecollection.co.za – thecollection.co.za
outdoor venues Dipsy Dots Kids Parties – Centurion – 012 654 1876 – dipsydots.co.za Giggles and Glamour – Wonderboom Airport – 012 543 0843 – gg@vsg.co.za – gigglesandglamour.co.za Graceland Fun Farm – Pretoria East – 081 043 2990 – gracelandff@gmail.com – gracelandfunfarm.co.za Honeydew Amazing Mazes – 073 795 2174 – honeydewmazes.co.za
For more inspiration visit pinterest.com/childmagazine
magazine pretoria
PHOTOGRAPHS / ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com
culture crazy
GAME
magazine pretoria
June 2016
19
resource
culture crazy mexican fiesta with power poppers From Real Meal Revolution: Raising Superheroes makes 14 poppers ingredients ✻✻ 14 fresh large jalapeño chillies ✻✻ 250g–300g streaky bacon
for about 3 minutes. When the skin starts to peel, transfer them into a bowl of cold water. Using your fingers, scoop the seeds out and dry the chillies well. In a bowl, mix all the ingredients for the Mexican white sauce and put aside. To make the filling, mix all the ingredients in a bowl. Stuff each jalapeño with enough filling for the chilli to return to its original shape. Wrap one of the pieces of bacon around each chilli, ensuring the slit is completely covered, and lay the chillies on a baking tray. Preheat the grill, then place the chillies underneath it to cook. Grill until the bacon is crispy, turning as needed.
for the mexican white sauce ✻✻ 2 cups mayo ✻✻ ¾ cup milk ✻✻ ¼ teaspoon smoked paprika ✻✻ 1 teaspoon ground cumin ✻✻ ½ teaspoon salt ✻✻ 1½ teaspoons garlic powder ✻✻ 1½ teaspoons dried oregano for the filling ✻✻ 70g grated mozzarella ✻✻ 70g grated cheddar ✻✻ 70g cream cheese ✻✻ 1 clove garlic, crushed ✻✻ 1 tablespoon chopped parsley ✻✻ salt and pepper method Bring a small pot of water to the boil. While you’re waiting, make a single lengthways slit in each chilli. Add the chillies to the water and boil
You are invited to You
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June 2016
for the cheese sauce ✻✻ 1½ cups white wine (optional) ✻✻ 500ml cream ✻✻ 2 heaped teaspoons Dijon mustard ✻✻ 3 cups grated cheese (mild gruyère, Emmenthal or cheddar) method Pour the wine into a saucepan and bring it to the boil. Simmer until it has reduced to half. Add the cream and mustard and continue to simmer until the cream thickens slightly – about
CAPE TOWN
Sand
Date
From Real Meal Revolution: Raising Superheroes serves 6–8 people
5–10 minutes. Remove from the heat. (NB: at this point, once the cheese is mixed into the sauce, you need to serve it immediately. If you want to finish it off later, allow the cream sauce to cool and reheat it just before serving. Add the cheese to the hot sauce and stir until melted. Pour it into a fondue pot and serve immediately with a variety of bits and pieces for dipping. dipping suggestions ✻✻ fried mushrooms ✻✻ slices of fried chorizo ✻✻ cherry tomatoes ✻✻ meatballs ✻✻ lightly cooked carrots
Khanye West
Sandra’s 12th Birthday pary
are invit ed to - a trip around the world
Tim
swiss fondue
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choose your destination A great idea for an invitation to open a door to an outof-this-world experience is an invite in the shape of an airline ticket.
cooking parties
pamper parties
Little Cooks Club – 083 556 3434 – headoffice@littlecooksclub.co.za – littlecooksclub.co.za
Featherbrooke Children – Le Petite Femme Pamper Spa Party and Le Petite Chef Party – 083 704 8600 – springett@mweb.co.za – featherbrookechildren.co.za Lifestyle on Location – Fourways – 071 560 9829 – info@lifestyle-onlocation.co.za – lifestyle-on-location. co.za Lil’ Miz Day Spa – Equestria – 012 807 5799, 082 600 2331 – info@ lilmizdayspa.co.za – lilmizdayspa.co.za Ooh-La-La Spa Parties – 084 576 0342 – info@oohlalaparties.co.za – oohlalaparties.co.za
music and drama parties Drum Connection – 084 389 6814 – info@drumconnection.co.za – drumconnection.co.za The Barnyard Theatres – Cresta: 011 478 5300, Rivonia: 087 236 3088, Emperors Palace: 011 823 6933, Pretoria: 012 368 1555 – clare@barnyardtheatres.co.za – barnyardtheatres.co.za
magazine pretoria
team spirit doughnut game Tie a long string across the room or in the garden, attach individual doughnuts with string and partygoers must eat the dougnuts without using their hands or dropping it on the floor.
boerie rolls Create a festive sports atmosphere and braai boerewors outside for boerie rolls with a variety of relishes. .
go wimbledon... with these decadent strawberry and cream cake pops. For party treats, cut the top off tennis balls and stuff with colourful gumballs.
parmesan chicken strips From Real Meal Revolution: Raising Superheroes makes 8 portions
hula hoops
These chicken strips are a little more grown-up than the others in the book, so are great to do as a family snack. You could also use the coating on a flattened chicken breast to make a delicious schnitzel. ingredients ✻✻ 120g parmesan, finely grated ✻✻ 120g ground almonds ✻✻ salt and pepper ✻✻ 4 chicken breasts, cut into strips ✻✻ 2 eggs, beaten ✻✻ 2 tablespoons coconut oil for frying ✻✻ 2 tablespoons butter for frying ✻✻ homemade mayo, lemon wedges and chopped chives to serve
method Mix the parmesan and almonds in a bowl and season with a little salt and pepper. Dip the chicken strips into the egg then coat with the parmesan mix. Heat the coconut oil and butter in a pan and fry the chicken strips until golden brown on both sides. Serve in little cups with homemade mayo to dip, lemon wedges and chopped chives.
soccer fever Ask your baker to create sporty cupcakes. A cupcake can represent any sports ball, from tennis to cricket and even rugby.
magazine pretoria
Stumped by what to give as a party favour? Hula hoops keep children fit and toned in a fun way and they are inexpensive.
hanging balls decor Cut different coloured circles from cardboard, glue them to string and hang them from the roof or from trees if the party is outside.
entertainers Beat Parties – 071 682 0551 – jayson@ beatparties.co.za – beatparties.com Little Kickers – 087 550 3188 – admin@ littlekickers.co.za – littlekickers.co.za Soccercise Starz – 011 882 3428 – info@soccercise.co.za – soccercise.co.za Supersport United Soccer Schools
Pretoria – Pretoria East – 012 771 2400 – pretoria@ssuss.co.za – ssuss.co.za
outdoor venues AcroBranch – Centurion and Pretoria North – 086 999 0369 – acrobranch.co.za StokeCity WakePark – Midrand – 011 314 3589 – stokecity.co.za
June 2016
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resource
party recipe books
african safari snakes on a branch ingredients ✻✻ different coloured fondant ✻✻ water ✻✻ 10 Flake chocolates ✻✻ non-toxic marker pens Shape the snake from your chosen colour of fondant. Using a contrasting colour fondant, make dots of different shapes and sizes and stick them to the snake’s body. Shape a forked tongue from red fondant and attach it to the snake’s head. If necessary, use a little water to get it to stick. Add the eyes and nostrils with the non-toxic marker pen. Carefully wrap the snake’s body around the Flake. Set aside until the fondant hardens.
Please come to
Jack’s
safari party
More Easy Party Treats for Children By Janette Mocke (Published by Struik Lifestyle, R210) Children love themed parties; and if you’re a mom who wants to give your child a party to remember, but without the hassle and stress of baking cakes and cookies, this is the book for you. Filled with simple, no-bake treats that are made from readily available sweets and biscuits, this book presents 15 party themes that can be adapted to suit your child’s age.
Saturday 7 May 3pm @ P irate Rd, Cape Town. R.S.V.P by 24 A pril: 079 987 6543
go green with e-invites If you are really stressed for time, and creatively challenged, go green and send paperless invites. E-invites are cost effective, convenient and give you the freedom to create what you want. Some sites such as e-invites.co.za charge a fee, but this includes an RSVP manager and email distribution. Most sites need you to sign-up or register.
Real Meal Revolution: Raising Superheroes By Tim Noakes, Jonno Proudfoot and Bridget Surtees (Published by Real Meal Revolution, R330) Following the record-breaking success of The Real Meal Revolution, Tim Noakes and the Real Meal Team have now set out to rethink the way we feed our children. The result, Raising Superheroes is not a Banting cookbook and doesn’t suggest no-carb eating for children. It also has a section dedicated to party food with recipes featured in Child magazine as well as “Frozen Banana Chocolate Rockets”, “Lemonand-Vanilla Cheesecake”, “Princess Ritz”, “Mini Cheese-and-Tomato Pizzas”, party drinks and more.
old games with a twist Children are comforted by traditional games. Add a new twist to “Pin the tail on the donkey” by replacing the donkey with a cheetah. Or find plenty of origami instructions for children online.
explore and create entertainers
indoor & outdoor venues
Leo’s Puppet Theatre – Gauteng and Lowveld – 083 378
Bester Birds and Animals Zoo Park – Willow Glen – 012
2272 – info@puppettheatre.co.za – puppettheatre.co.za
807 4192, 012 807 2574 – admin@besterbirdsanimals.co.za
Smilemakers Entertainment – Gauteng – 0861 112 877, 011 640 6096 – party@smilemakers.co.za – smilemakers.co.za
– besterbirdsanimals.co.za Lory Park Animal and Owl Sanctuary – Midrand – 011 315 7307 – info@lorypark.co.za – lorypark.co.za National Zoological Gardens of South Africa – Pretoria
Wild and Earthly – Gauteng – 084 550 0120 – lisa@
Central – 012 339 2757, 076 478 8148 – johannah@nzg.
wildandearthly.co.za – wildandearthly.co.za
ac.za – nzg.ac.za
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June 2016
The Democratic Republic of Braai By Jan Braai (Published by NB Publishers, R320) It is your democratic right to gather with friends and family around braai fires throughout the country, and even more so on a birthday celebration. This is the promise of Jan Braai’s The Democratic Republic of Braai. It brings you the greatest braai recipes that Jan knows – it’s your right to braai the best. Find exceptional braai recipes for steak, chicken, lamb and more – there’s no need to eat badly braaied food ever again.
magazine pretoria
planning do’s and don’ts
i
quickly learnt the importance of putting “end” times on party invites when I found myself dragging diehard guests from an inflatable pool at 11pm on the night of my daughter’s first birthday party. In hindsight, we probably should not have opted for a spit braai that started at 10am to celebrate the birthday of a toddler who would doze off twice before we had even cut the cake. But those were back in our eager days when we were party rookies. Now that we have organised almost 10 bashes for the children, since then, and attended countless others (have you ever noticed how they seem to happen in batches so you end up rushing like a headless chicken from the petting zoo to the superhero picnic with a blubbering Batman covered in straw?), we’re more prepared for the party gauntlet.
Party planning is not for the faint-hearted. ANÉL LEWIS shares some insight from her experiences.
ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.com
invited guests There are some fundamental do’s and don’ts when it comes to party etiquette. Unless you can invite the whole class, don’t place brightly coloured invites in easily visible pigeonholes or lockers where the hapless children, who haven’t been included, can see them. The same children who can’t seem to find their own shoelaces will spot a party invite a mile off. While an emailed invitation is perhaps not the most personal option, it will spare the feelings of those children who have not been invited.
magazine pretoria
let’s party
on tap Given that the parents of younger children have to also be included in the party plans, decisions need to be made about whether alcohol will be on tap. For the bleary-eyed parents attending what may be their third party that day, a glass of wine seems almost mandatory. Perhaps keep alcohol for celebrations that start later in the day, and make sure the booze table is set up far away from the children’s area.
give thanks
numbers game Always RSVP to a party invite; especially if the theme involves a paid activity. Parties these days can cost as much as the down payment on a small speedboat, so be considerate and let the host know if you are coming. Also bear in mind that the host may have capacity for a fixed number of guests. So ask before you rock up with your child, her three siblings and the great granny who is visiting from Poland. Also, younger children probably still need you to be at the party, so refrain from throwing your son out of the car quicker than anyone can scream “Piñata!” so that you can get a few hours of alone time at the mall.
Teach your children to hand over gifts graciously when attending parties, and to also say thank you for their gifts. I recall being very rude about being given an ironing board as a present when I was about seven years old. My mother locked away all the other gifts until I had apologised and said thank you appropriately. It’s good form to also send a written thank you afterwards. Although, as most parents know, the gifts tend to get opened in a frenzied scrum that would put the Springboks to shame, and the chances of actually matching the cards to the toys are zero to none. If you can’t pair the gift to the guest, maybe just send out a general email with a few photographs from the party as a sign of appreciation. But if the bash ended with the adults in the inflatable pool again, maybe the best thank you would be to avoid all photographic evidence.
June 2016
23
what’s on in june Compiled by Simone Jeffery
Gateway to Space: The Exhibition
1
Have you ever wondered what it’s like in space? The exhibition introduces audiences to the people, technologies and circumstances that made space exploration possible. Among the highlights is a real moon rock, a life-size Mir space station core module, a Sputnik 1 model and an Apollo capsule model. The exhibition runs at the Sandton Convention Centre until 31 July. Tickets cost R180 for adults, R120 for children 18 months–18 years old and R520 for a family of four. Tickets are available through computicket.com. For more info: gatewaytospace.co.za
Peter and the Wolf The Gauteng Philharmonic Orchestra, under the baton of Matheu Kieswetter, performs
queen and Reynard Slabbert as the prince. The pantomime is being staged until 12 June at the Theatre of Marcellus in Emperors Palace, 64 Jones Rd, Kempton Park. Performance times vary. Tickets cost R150–R250. Book through computicket.com
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Adrenaline Show
Two days of airplanes, cars, parachutes, helicopters and super
bikes. There will also be a variety of vendors, food, live music and a children’s entertainment area.
at the Brooklyn Theatre at 6pm Friday, and
Saturday’s focus is on the airshow, with a spectacular
3pm on Saturday and Sunday. The narration
fireworks display at the end of the evening. On
is in Afrikaans. Tickets cost R160–R310,
Sunday, hot rods and muscle cars take centre
10
460 6033 or brooklyntheatre.co.za
Fijnwyn Food and Wine festival
A day for families to enjoy delicious food, fine red wine and port, live music and children’s entertainment at Shokran Events Venue in Tierpoort, Pretoria East. Picnic boxes can be pre-ordered online. The festival
Parents of children from the ages of 3 months–18 years old can find out more about this independent school, view the facilities and have their questions answered from 9am–11am. Curro Thatchfield is situated at 3512 Barbet St, cnr Brakfontein Rd and Barbet St, Thatchfield, Centurion. Contact: 012 652 2906 or curro.co.za
Grand opening of Go-Play Join in the fun as a
Peter and the Wolf and Carnival of the Animals
family packages are available. Contact: 012
open day
A brand new Afrikaans pantomime based
Nadine as Snow White, Angela Kilian as the evil
childmag.co.za or submit an event for July before 27 May to pretoria@ childmag.co.za
Curro Thatchfield
Sneeuwitjie on the well-known fairytale, and starring
Access an extended calendar online at
stage, but there will still be a few air acts. The event takes place at Wonderboom Airport, Linvelt
new indoor play centre and party venue opens its doors at Eco Boulevard, Centurion. Entrance costs R50 per hour from Wednesday– Friday and R65 per hour from Saturday and Sunday. The centre is open from 9am–4pm Wednesday–Friday and 9am–5pm Saturday and Sunday. For more info, contact: 012 534 3850, info@go-play.co.za or go-play.co.za
World Blood Donor Day Donors need to be between 16–65
Rd in Pretoria North, from 8am–5pm. Tickets are
years old, in good health and
available at the gate or through computicket.com
weigh 50kg or more. For more info:
and cost from R150–R450.
0800 119 031 or sanbs.org.za
Trail Run Festival Take part in the technical and challenging 30km and
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4
14
Treats 17 Chocolate for Father’s Day
20km route, or the easier 8km or 5km route that
Mini chocolatiers aged 4–12 years old, and their dads
also allows walking. At the finish there is music,
(or moms), make a chocolate figurine from modelling
food and drinks available. No pets allowed. Pre-
chocolate, finger-paint chocolate cars, create a chocolate
entries close 14 June. The festival takes place at
car template, and decorate a chocolate scroll with a special
takes place from 10am–6pm; wine
the Big Red Barn, 7 Nelson Rd, Sunlawns, Irene.
Father’s Day message. Older children accommodated by
tastings until 5pm. Tickets cost R150
Registration is from 6:30am, the run starts at 7:30am.
prior arrangement. The fun takes place at Snyman Sjokolateur
for adults, R50 for children 12–18 years
Entrance costs R180 for the 30km and 20km route, R100
Boutique Factory in Waterkloof Ridge on 17 and 24 June from
old and children under 12 years old
for the 8km and 5km route, and children under 13 years
2pm–4pm, and 18 June from 10am–12pm. The day costs
are free. For more info, contact: 082
old can register, on the day, free. For more info, contact:
R185 per child. One parent per child may join in the fun
335 5659, fijnwyn@shokran.co.za or fijnwyn.co.za
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Pretoria Boys Highland Gathering
The Pretoria Boys High School Championship Gathering plays host to over 30 pipe bands from across the country and also offers various craft and food stalls. The gathering takes place at Pretoria Boys High School, 251 Roper St, Brooklyn from 9am–5pm; massed bands are at 3:30pm. Entrance costs R30 for adults, and R20 for pensioners and children. For more info, contact Mr R Blackmore: 012 460 2246, rblackmore@boyshigh. com or boyshigh.com
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June 2016
082 332 9552, gouldie@icon.co.za or trailadventure.co.za
Dads and Doughnuts
Celebrate fathers with the Grace Covenant Church at 8:30am and 10:30am. The service will focus on dads and there will be coffee and doughnuts for everyone to enjoy afterwards. Grace Covenant Church is situated at 145 Glover Ave, Centurion. Contact: 012 644 2110, info@gracecov.co.za or gracecov.co.za
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at no additional cost. Prior booking essential. Contact Lily: 074 140 1087, info@snymanchocolates.com or Facebook: Snyman Sjokolateur
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Little Maestros classical concerts
The theme for this month’s classical recital for 0–7 year olds is “Percussion Fun” – meet the marimba, glockenspiel, drums, triangle and many more fun percussion instruments. The concert is from 3pm–4pm at the LemonJack Theatre, 276 Poole Ave, Centurion. Tickets cost R120. For more info, contact: 076 835 6561, music@littlemaestros.org or littlemaestros.org
magazine pretoria
PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com
calendar
Shrek the Musical
Disney on Ice presents
DreamWorks’ Shrek with an enormous cast, a
An action-packed ice spectacular featuring four fun-filled Disney stories that showcase many of the beloved characters from Cars, The Little Mermaid, and Toy Story, along with Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy. Joining these cherished characters are the dynamic sisters Anna and Elsa from Frozen. The spectacular runs at the Ticketpro Dome in North Riding from 24 June–3 July. Tickets cost R175–R475. Book through computicket.com
A larger than life musical stage adaptation of fabulous score and extravagant costumes. The story revolves around an unlikely hero, a benign ogre who sets out to reclaim his swamp from disgruntled fairytale creatures
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and ends up vanquishing the villain and finding true love. Performances are at the Lyric Theatre in Gold Reef City at 2:30pm Wednesday–Saturday, 7:30pm
Friday
and
Saturday
from
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June–
17 July. Tickets costs between R150–R290. Book through computicket.com
25 Story time at Rooihuiskraal Library
Children 4–7 years old can pop into the Rooihuiskraal Library on Tiptol Corner for a fun-filled story hour at 10:30am. Contact: 012 358 5640
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Shaolin
Worlds of Enchantment
The Shaolin Monks demonstrate their martial arts expertise on stage at Montecasino’s Teatro. The show combines traditional Shaolin kung fu, perfect choreography with dramatic lighting and sound that evokes the spirit of their traditions. Performances take place at 8pm Tuesday–Saturday, 3pm Saturday, and 2pm and 6pm on Sunday from 28 June–10 July. Tickets cost R285–R565. Book through computicket.com
markets
Crafters Fair A ten day shopping experience with exhibitors showcasing everything from gift ideas to food and more. The fair runs at the NG Moreleta, De Villebois Mareuil Dr, Moreleta Park in Pretoria East, from 24 June–2 July. It is open from 9am–7pm Monday–Saturday, and closed on Sunday. For more info, contact: khaya@polka.co.za or visit craftersfair.co.za Kiddo’s Boutique Market A pop-up baby and toddler market with food stalls and a children’s play area on 4 June from 9am–4pm at La Vie Lente Urban Farm, Plot 242 Lynnwood Rd Extension, Tiegerpoort. Tickets are available at the gate and cost R40, children under 12 years old are free. For more info Facebook: Kiddos Boutique Market
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Kidz Rock the Hits
A fist-pumping and hip-swaying production that pays tribute to the billboard number one hit songs from 2015, such as One Direction with “Drag Me Down” and Justin Bieber with “What Do You Mean?”. The production will be at the Barnyard Theatre in Parkview Shopping Centre in Moreleta Park at 3pm. Tickets cost R100 per person. To book contact: 012 368 1555 or barnyardtheatre.co.za
holiday programmes 27 Kidz fishing camp Until 29 June, children 7–15 years old can get close to nature and learn how to fish, tie knots, canoe and more. Transport is provided from Joburg to the camp on the Vaal River. The camp costs R1 300 per child. Contact: 083 610 2911, nella.villanova@ kidzfishingcamp.co.za or kidzfishingcamp.co.za
26 Sugar Bay holiday camp – Angry Birds Week An adventure camp held at Sugar Bay Holiday Resort, Zinkwazi Beach in KZN. Children 7–17 years old experience over 100 free-choice activities under the supervision of counsellors. Campers will go on an excursion to Joy Land in Gateway and to the Umgeni Bird Park. Booking essential. The camp runs from 26 June–3 July and costs R5 799 for a new camper. Contact Roma: 032 485 3778 or sugarbay.co.za
magazine pretoria
June 2016
25
finishing touch
wise beyond their years ANÉL LEWIS dreads the day her children start asking questions about the birds and the bees. Her five year old is already going through a
he question came out of the blue one morning. “Mom, why did you choose to have Conor?” I looked at Erin, now five years old (going on 15), and thought she was probably bemoaning the fact that she had to share the TV room with a boy sibling interested in only watching movies with cars or trains. “Would you have preferred a sister instead of a brother?” I asked. Without missing a beat, she replied: “No Mom, I didn’t need either. I was quite happy on my own.” Poor Conor didn’t seem too upset by his sister’s disdain for his existence. He was more concerned about how he had managed to eat while he was in my stomach for nine months. I just love how uncomplicated the universe is for him. Erin, on the other hand, seems to be pondering the mysteries of life at the moment. Another humdinger that came at me while I was driving to school, innocently singing along to UB40’s “I got you, babe”, was “Mom, when you go to heaven, will you be up there as a grown-up, or will you go back to being a baby again?” Wowzer, that was a tough issue to grapple with before my second cup of coffee. When I asked her which she would prefer, she was quiet for a few seconds before replying, “ I want you to stay as an adult so that you can still be my mom when I get there.” While Erin appears to be having some sort of a mini-existential crisis, Conor’s more focused on the practicalities of things. While looking at one of our wedding photos, he said to me, “So, Mom, did you marry Dad?” I assured him that yes, that is exactly what I was
Erin, Anél and Conor
doing in that white get-up on a beach in May. After dealing with Erin’s questions, I expected Conor to then probe further about the meaning of marriage, life and the universe. But thankfully, he only wanted to find out about the decor. “So, you had flowers, hey?” “Um, yes, my boy,” I replied nervously. “Looks like a nice day then, Mom.” And that was that. But I wasn’t off the hook just yet. It only took a few seconds for Erin to ask, “Mom, will you get married to Dad again? I really don’t want another brother.” Despite Erin’s apparent fear of another sibling being added into the mix – which is about as likely as a certain politician paying back all the money – she is fiercely protective of her younger brother, and vice versa. Conor gets his pronouns confused, so he’s very concerned if his “brother” is sent to time-out. The two still share a bedroom, even though Conor has a perfectly good bed just across the hall. And when Erin gets too deep, and starts mulling over the big life questions, it’s Conor who helps her put things back into perspective. “You’re my brother, hey Erin? I love you.” And suddenly, the universe makes perfect sense again. Anél Lewis is becoming as adept as a politician at dodging questions from out of left field while stuck in rush-hour traffic. She’s just wondering what’s going to happen when the inevitable “birds and the bees” queries start coming.
PHOTOGRAPH: Susie Leblond Photography
t
mini-existential crisis…
next month in family marketplace july is our “bumper holiday” issue on street 17 june
we look at... planning your next family getaway: from travelling when pregnant to affordable family adventures in asia playing nice for moms and dads date night inspiration for mom and dad and the niggles that make parents fight health issues and children ✻✻ when they suffer from somatic symptoms ✻✻ post-traumatic stress disorder ✻✻ gluten-, sugar- and dairy-free recipes
plus
our education focus:
the importance of learning a second language
To advertise call: (011) 807 6449 or email: ptasales@childmag. co.za | Booking deadline: 1 June | Material deadline: 2 June 26
June 2016
magazine pretoria
PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com
also: successful parenting in a world of screens