Child magazine | DBN November 2016 by Hunter House Publishing

D U R B A N ’ S

B E S T

G U I D E

F O R

P A R E N T S

it’s child’s play explore and learn with toys that teach

fun food & treats super simple snacks

man cave

from boys to men

plus vaccinations revisited making sense of sensory intelligence we look at gestational diabetes

the annual www.childmag.co.za

November 2016

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tech & toy issue

health

education

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Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher lisa mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

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There’s lots of fun to be had this month with our annual Tech & Toy issue. With the festive season on the horizon, we know that choosing toys will be front of mind for many of you. But holiday shopping is often fraught for parents, because firstly, we have all had to tighten our belts this year and then there is the guilt. As one mom puts it: “if i don’t buy my son the latest tablet or techno toy, won’t he be missing out educationally and technically?” Research suggests that he really won’t! The real appeal of electronic toys is much the same as a good old-fashioned Fisher-Price toy; it’s all in the bells and whistles, their sound effects and their ability to respond to your child. So it’s not hard to be tempted with so many new toys and gadgets on the shelves. Just remember it’s important to be a critical consumer, so make sure you buy well and get your children to use their new gifts wisely. in “it’s playtime” (page 14) we have rounded up a list of what’s hot right now, from high-tech toys to the nostalgic toys of our youth that are making a comeback.

lisa mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

P.S: Often the best of times come from spending time together (while playing in a cardboard box)!

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November 2016

contents

it’s playtime

3 a note from lisa

regulars

5 over to you readers respond

8 best for baby – the science behind vaccination Anél Lewis

features

looks at the arguments for and against immunisation

12 to man cave or not to man cave Christina Castle offers tips on creating a dedicated space for teen boys and their toys

9 pregnancy news – sugar savvy from their book, Pregnancy Sense, Meg Faure, Jacky Searle and Heather Wood give advice on how to counter gestational diabetes

16 life’s a beach in mauritius

18 cracking the code Tamlyn Vincent finds out how to decipher your child’s report card

20 the gift of giving when handing over the teacher’s year-end gift, it really is the thought that counts, says Camilla Rankin

27 play with your food in her new book, Fun Foods: Healthy Meals for Kids, Sam Scarborough offers imaginative recipes to help make eating fun

health 5 november health focus Marina Zietsman lists important health awareness days to inspire you to take action

10 dealing with difference – making sense of your senses Samantha Page investigates sensory modulation difficulties

14 resource – it’s playtime Child magazine compiled a list of new toys on the scene, including those that are making a comeback

22 a good read for the whole family 23 what’s on in november 25 in the next issue 26 finishing touch watch what you say, because children have sharp ears, warns Anél Lewis

classified ads 21 it’s party time 26 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

November 2016

Joburg

Durban

Cape Town

Pretoria

Jamie Schluter from Pulse Kids photographer: Marguerite Oelofse

Shutterstock shutterstock.com

Leo Hamilton from Pulse Kids photographer: Marguerite Oelofse

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: Natalie Edy photography natalieedy.com

exploring this tropical island with a toddler in tow is a breeze. By Nick Dall

letters

over to you get the balance right in response to the letter “homeschooling is tops” in your September 2016 issue: As a parent, i understand the urge to see your children progress “ahead of the pack”. it feels good when we can claim that our child is better/stronger/faster/more intelligent than others. We claim it as a personal victory, like it makes us a better parent than the next mom or dad. As someone who works with young children, i would ask parents to further research childhood development, and to take a good look at whether or not homeschooled children are developing at the same rate socially, emotionally and physically, as they are developing intellectually. in my opinion, what children need to learn most of all in their formative years, can’t be taught from a book. Just because a three or seven year old child is capable of doing the work of older children, doesn’t mean that he should. Producing an end result that satisfies an adult agenda is more often than not detrimental to a child’s overall development. Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine

let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or Po Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

i would urge all parents to focus on deriving pride from who their children are as human beings, rather than what they are capable of achieving. Because really, parenting a well-balanced, resilient, capable and confident child who can communicate well and maintain healthy relationships will be of far more value to your child in the long term than how early they learnt to read. Simon McQueen

thanks, child magazine i really appreciate the resource service your magazine offers. your publication is a treat for parents, educators and service providers. Well done on a consistently stunning magazine. Jackie van Breda

dealing with difference in response to the article “when it’s really AdHd” (September 2016), i found it very inspiring and constructive.

my grandson, now eight, went to a public school in Grade 1. it was soon obvious that he was struggling to adjust, falling behind in class. His parents started seeking advice and looking for answers for symptoms they knew nothing about. We read and hear daily about AdHd and related conditions, but no one gives parents information on where to get advice and who to contact for the best possible solution. Surely there must be a way to help parents who are desperate, destitute and disillusioned. many people are not knowledgeable about the condition, and are unsympathetic towards these children and their parents. many people don’t understand that these children have a permanent condition over which they have little control. Anonymous subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions. To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

health .

november health focus MarINa ZIetSMaN highlights the health and awareness days in November to help us remember, learn about and take action to assist those in need.

5 November

National children’s day The first Saturday of November has been established as National children’s day. The aim of the day is to highlight children’s rights, especially with regards to abuse and child trafficking. 9 November

World Adoption day The day is to celebrate families brought together through adoption, and to raise awareness of adoption. it’s also about raising funds to support families that adopt. On World Adoption day, you are urged to spread the word by drawing a smiley on your hand, taking a photo and posting the picture to social media using the hashtag #WorldAdoptionday. For more info: worldadoptionday.org 14 November

3 November–3 December

National disability Rights Awareness month (dRAm) The aim is to celebrate the release of the White Paper on the Rights of Persons with disabilities and to reach out to people with disabilities. Ubuntu Centre South Africa, an independent, membership-based disabled people’s organisation, is run for and by people with psychosocial disabilities: theubuntucentre@gmail.com or ubuntucentre.wordpress.com National Council for People with Physical Disabilities in South Africa: 011 452 2774 or ncppdsa.org.za Disabled People South Africa: 021 422 0357 or info@dpsa.org.za SA Disability Alliance: 060 967 0258 or secretary@sadisability-alliance.co.za

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTeRSTOcK.cOm

25 November–10 December

16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children This is an international awareness raising campaign running from international day for the elimination of Violence Against Women (25 November) to international Human Rights day (10 december), which also includes Universal children’s day (20 November) and World Aids day (1 december). South Africa adopted the campaign in 1998 and it continues to raise awareness among South Africans on the negative impact of violence against women and children. For more info visit Facebook: 16 days campaign

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World Diabetes Day Diabetes is a chronic, debilitating and costly disease. According to the International diabetes Federation, by 2035 almost 600 million people could be living with diabetes. The theme this year is “eyes on diabetes”. This year the focus is on promoting the importance of screening to ensure early diagnosis of type 2 diabetes and treatment to reduce the risk of serious complications. Diabetes South Africa: 086 111 3913, 021 425 4440, national@diabetessa.org.za or diabetessa.org.za 17 November

World Prematurity (or Preemie) day empower yourself today to learn more about premature birth and the affect this can have on families. Premature birth is a very serious health problem. Worldwide, 15 million babies are born preterm and more than a million die as a result. Newborns Groote Schuur Trust: 021 404 6023, 082 254 2652, enquiries@newborns.org.za or newborns.org.za Little Steps is an online support network: littlesteps.co.za

November 2016

best for baby

the science behind

vaccination the decision to vaccinate is an emotive one for many parents. aNÉl leWIS takes a scientific look at the arguments for and

for vaccinations protective barrier According to the cancer Association of South Africa (cansa), the average child will have 28 vaccinations before turning 12, with many of these being done shortly after birth. This may sound excessive, but according to Prof Rose Burnett of the South African Vaccination and immunisation centre in the department of Virology at the Sefako Makgatho Health Sciences University, all of the vaccines in the public sector vaccination schedule prevent diseases with severe outcomes, including disability and death, and are thus essential. “Not only do they prevent illness, hospitalisation, disability and death in young children; the hepatitis B vaccine received at infancy prevents liver cancer in later life, while the human papillomavirus vaccine received as an adolescent prevents cervical cancer later in life.” But vaccines are also there to protect the vulnerable in our communities who cannot be inoculated with specific vaccines, because they are either too young or have a medical condition, says Burnett. “Thus it is also essential for the rest of us to be vaccinated, in order to protect these vulnerable people in our communities through herd immunity.” saving for the future Vaccinations also save time and money. Many schools require up-to-date vaccination records for admission, although it is not mandatory in South Africa to vaccinate your child. Diseases can add to financial strain as children may need to be hospitalised. There is also the risk of time lost from work for older patients who have not been vaccinated. Vaccinations protect future generations from diseases. The centre for Vaccines and immunology says measles is targeted for elimination from the African region by 2020. This

November 2016

highly contagious disease can cause complications such as pneumonia, diarrhoea, blindness, encephalitis or death. The measles vaccination is therefore a “safe, effective and costeffective way of preventing measles morbidity and mortality,” says dr melinda Suchard, of the National institute for communicable diseases. Burnett stresses that vaccination has proven to be the most successful intervention for the prevention and control of infectious diseases. “We saw smallpox being eradicated globally in 1978, and we are well on the way to eliminating polio, with only two polio-endemic countries left in the world, all thanks to the huge success of vaccines against these diseases. South Africa had its last case of wild-type poliovirus (meaning the type encountered in nature and not derived from a strain of poliovirus created to produce the polio vaccine) transmission in 1989.

against vaccinations a price too high Yet, according to the Medical Chronicle, a newsletter for the private health sector, three out of 10 South African children do not get all their vaccinations. Burnett says this is often because of factors, such as stock shortages or clinic opening hours. There are also those who argue vehemently that the risks of administering what is essentially the disease-causing virus or bacteria far outweigh any possible health benefits. Some who are “vaccine-hesitant” are concerned that pharmaceutical companies may be pushing the vaccination agenda for their own financial gain. Further, a study published more than two decades ago in the medical journal, The Lancet, linked the measles, mumps and rubella (mmR) vaccine to autism. These findings were later refuted, when it was found that dr Andrew Wakefield falsified the results, yet this vaccine continues to get a bad rap from so-called “anti-vaxxers”. This, despite studies from around the world disproving any link between vaccines and autism. According to cansa, anti-vaxxers are worried about the safety of the ingredients used in vaccinations. Others say that “natural immunity”, which occurs when the body successfully battles an infectious disease without any medical intervention, is better than a vaccination. But Burnett refutes this, saying that natural infections can result in severe sickness and even death, which is precisely what the health sector wants to avoid. Some argue that vaccines “overload” a child’s immune system, but numerous studies have shown that young children have the capacity to respond to multiple vaccines, just as they respond to multiple micro-organisms in their natural environment, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. The concerns about vaccines may sometimes be ideological. Burnett says there are a few religious orthodox communities or sects who don’t support vaccination. in America, some of the Amish people refuse to vaccinate. There is also a very small minority of muslims who believe that vaccines contain “haram” or forbidden substances. However, she stresses that this is not a mainstream Islamic view. “i have also had anecdotal reports from healthcare workers in the Northwest Province of people who follow a descendent of the prophet Shembe, who do not believe

in vaccination, and this apparently stems from the days of smallpox vaccination, with the smallpox scar being viewed as ‘the mark of the beast’.” The HPV vaccination has posed a conundrum for religious parents who may have followed the health department’s immunisation schedule, but mistakenly believe that there is no need for an additional vaccine that could prevent a sexually transmitted disease if their daughters adhere to their principle of abstinence before marriage. The reality is that a person could contract an HPV infection even if they only have one partner who happens to have contracted the virus from a previous sexual encounter.

talk of an alternative So, could complementary medicines offer safer alternatives to conventional vaccinations? While some homoeopathic practitioners may offer alternative preparations, dr Neil Gower of the department of Homoeopathy at the University of Johannesburg, says any such treatment would be regarded as “pre-emptive”. Homoeopathic prophylactic measures have also not proven to provide any long-term immunity against disease. in fact, the Allied Health Professionals council of South Africa has gone so far as to issue a notice of unprofessional conduct stating that no homoeopathic substance should be termed or purported to be a homoeopathic vaccine. “The concept of a homoeopathic ‘vaccine’ does not exist in the philosophy of homoeopathy or in homoeopathic methodology…” Gower says a vaccination should be treated as any other form of medicine with regard for the health of the recipient, possible contraindications and informed consent. “in this respect, parents should carefully consider each vaccination, however they are encouraged to consider vaccinations as a standard reliance in the prevention of disease.”

1,5 million children globally die each year from diseases that could have been prevented by a vaccine. Medical Chronicle

illUSTRATiON: SHUTTeRSTOcK.cOm

uthor Roald dahl’s daughter Olivia, aged seven, died from measles encephalitis in 1962. There was no measles vaccination when dahl’s daughter fell ill, but now there’s a comprehensive schedule of immunisations that can prevent many life-threatening diseases. yet, despite the medical advances, and the reams of scientific literature debunking theories that vaccines cause autism and have debilitating side effects, there are parents who question immunisation. most parents would not hesitate to babyproof their homes, install a car seat or teach their toddlers about the risks of trusting strangers – all preventative steps taken to protect their children from harm. yet, when it comes to administering a shot that could prevent life-threatening diseases such as meningitis, many balk. The issue is a highly emotive one, especially for parents who may be concerned about the alleged link between vaccines and autism, and other supposed risks. But, for the medical fraternity who deal daily with children suffering from diseases that could be prevented, their position is unequivocal. Vaccines save lives. The World Health Organisation estimates that vaccines prevent more than three million deaths globally, each year. Understandably, after the death of his daughter, dahl later became a champion for vaccinations, saying: “it really is almost a crime to allow your child to go unimmunised.”

against immunisation.

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pregnancy news

sugar savvy During pregnancy, many women develop gestational diabetes. In their new book, Pregnancy Sense, Meg Faure, Jacky Searle and Heather Wood give advice on how to avoid this serious condition. low-carb diet for gestational diabetes Gestational diabetes (too much sugar in the blood) affects one in five pregnancies and places you and your baby at significant health and developmental risk. It is considered a very serious condition in pregnancy and your caregiver will monitor the sugar in your urine at each visit. High-carbohydrate diets, particularly those with sugary foods, lots of fruit juice and processed carbs (flour, bakes and cookies), cause your body to release insulin to stabilise your blood sugar. Like many organs, your pancreas is under pressure in pregnancy and may not be able to secrete enough insulin to cope with the sugars you ingest. Eating too many simple carbohydrates will exacerbate this. Such a diet, in combination with producing inadequate insulin, creates the perfect storm for gestational diabetes. Gestational diabetics should be referred to a dietician, but the basics of dietary management are to: ✻✻ avoid sugar and refined grain-based foods (bread and cookies) entirely ✻✻ always eat healthy carbs (vegetables, dairy and fruit) in combination with fats or proteins (nut-butter, fish, nuts, hemp seed, eggs, chicken and steak) to stabilise your blood sugar; and ✻✻ not drink your carbs – no fruit juice or sugary sodas. For a more in-depth study of using a low-carb diet to manage gestational diabetes, it is worth having a look at realfoodforgd.com

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healthy eating for pregnancy Since everything you eat passes from your digestive system, into your bloodstream, through the placenta and to your new baby, there are five points to consider when you listen to advice on diet in pregnancy: Your diet needs to provide all the nutrients (building blocks) for all of your baby’s growing needs, and specific micronutrients ensure his brain and organ development is on track to meet his genetic potential. Your nutrition needs to sustain an entire new organ – the placenta – and sustain your energy levels to nurture this organ, your own body and your growing foetus. You need to be conscious of your weight gain. Gain too little and your baby may have stunted growth. Gain too much and there can be health consequences for you and your baby, and you may battle to lose it after your baby’s birth. In pregnancy, you are at risk for certain conditions related to diet – specifically gestational diabetes. Your diet has a direct effect on this. Fluids, and water specifically, are essential for all body functions and, since much of your weight gain in pregnancy is water (more blood, amniotic fluid and fluid retention in preparation for birth), you obviously need to keep well hydrated in pregnancy. While it is not a good idea to eat for two, you will do well to eat with two in mind – not two adults, but two individuals with very specific needs.

1 2 3 4

about the book Being empowered with knowledge, understanding your choices and being active in the process will make a huge difference in your pregnancy. Ultimately it does not matter how your baby is born; what matters is how you experience it and that it is safe. Reading Pregnancy Sense (Metz Press) will reduce the anxiety that may stem from the unknown and help you make your choices with insight and flexibility. It is available from bookstores at a recommended retail price of R185.

November 2016

dealing with difference

making sense of

your senses Children with sensory modulation difficulties find it trying to respond to the demands of the world and to successfully interact with their environment. SAMANTHA PAGE

t a party, there’s a young boy huddled in a corner with his hands covering his ears. While all the other five year olds are enjoying the upbeat birthday vibe, he is wondering how he landed in this colossal nightmare. The music is too loud; he has to sit on the prickly grass and watch a magic show and right now the only thing worse is having his face painted with weirdsmelling paints. Amid the shrieks of laughter and squeals of enthusiasm, he lets out a stressful cry, followed by another, then another, clearly his only recourse as he tries to shut out this noisy, busy world. This child’s reaction isn’t unique or attributable to a whiny brat, says Ellen Yack, an occupational therapist and co-author of Building Bridges Through Sensory Integration, given that an estimated 5–15% of school-aged children are affected by sensory processing disorder (SPD) and difficulties with sensory modulation, which are just as common as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). “For such children, the world is simply too much. Too loud. Too bright. Food is either too soft or too crunchy. The labels and seams on clothes too scratchy. For them, everyday activities like eating and dressing pose an almost intractable challenge and an ever-present threat,” says parenting writer and blogger Julie M Green. Children with heightened sensory thresholds display little or no reaction, while those who have low sensory thresholds (the little boy at the party) react to stimuli with increased frequency. Since each of us experience our environment through our senses, only when you begin to understand your child’s stressors and needs on a sensory, emotional and cognitive level can you adequately prepare your child for life ahead

what is sensory intelligence (si)? Annemarie Lombard, founder and CEO of Sensory Intelligence Consulting, who also has a PhD in

November 2016

health sciences and is a registered occupational therapist, describes SI as having an insight and awareness of the primitive sensory wiring of our brains and the effect it has on everyday living. “How we interpret and interact with the world is the product of sensory filtering through the senses,” explains Annemarie. “We see, hear, smell, taste, touch, move and respond accordingly. It’s a primitive and unconscious process that occurs uniquely for all of us based on our genetic coding, and is influenced by how we were raised.” While in recent years SI has become a compelling talking point on parenting websites and blogs, the concept of sensory intelligence dates back to the 1960s when the American occupational therapist, neuroscientist, and author of Sensory Integration and the Child, Dr Anna Jean Ayres developed the sensory integration theory and applied it to children with developmental or learning difficulties. In her research, she explored the association between sensory processing and the problems children encounter in everyday life with learning, development, emotions and behaviours. “On a sensory level, parents are responsible for the stimulation of a child for optimal growth and development,” explains Annemarie. “With an awareness of your child’s sensory needs and stress triggers, you can better equip them to optimise their learning environment without under- or overstimulating them – both extremes can be detrimental to their development.”

how does sensory intolerance present? A sensory processing disorder (SPD) can affect people in only one sense, for example, just touch or just sight or just movement – or in multiple senses. One person with SPD may over-respond (low threshold) to touch sensation and find clothing, physical contact, and other tactile sensory

input to be unbearable and/or they may over-respond to visual, auditory or another sensory input. The flipside is a person who under responds (high threshold) and shows little or no reaction to stimulation, even to pain or extreme hot and cold conditions, or may be slow to respond to sensation. Children, whose sensory processing of messages from the muscles and joints is impaired, display poor posture and their motor skills can be affected. These children are often “floppy” and are inclined to prop themselves up on walls when standing, lean over on their hand when writing and love to hang out, but not move. The STAR Institute for Sensory Processing Disorder in Quebec, Canada, also identifies sensory cravers who are in perpetual overdrive and have an appetite for sensation. They seem almost addicted to intense stimulation and are often misdiagnosed – and inappropriately medicated – for ADHD.

what do the scientists say? “Most people don’t know how to support children who lack sensory tolerance because they don’t fall into a traditional clinical group,” says Elysa Marco, MD, who led a recent study, which for the first time found that children affected with SPD have quantifiable differences in brain structure, which shows a biological basis for the disorder, setting it apart from other neurodevelopmental conditions. “Sometimes they are called the ‘out of sync’ children,” says Elysa. “Their language is good, but they seem to have trouble with just about everything else, especially emotional regulation and distraction. In the real world, they are just less able to process information efficiently, and they get left out and bullied.” “If we can better understand these children who are falling through the cracks, we will not only help a whole lot of families, but we will better understand sensory processing in general. This work is laying the foundation for expanding our research and clinical evaluation of

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ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

investigates the science behind sense.

ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

children with a wide range of neurodevelopmental challenges – stretching beyond autism and ADHD,” explains Marco. Lindsey Biel, an occupational therapist and co-author of Raising a Sensory Smart Child, believes that despite genetics (nature), the brain can be rewired (nurture). “The goal of treatment should be to help build neural pathways that can lead to appropriate responses to information that comes into the brain through the senses. This is time-consuming and requires frequent repetition, but it’s necessary. Nerves that fire together, wire together,” explains Biel. “So each time you practise something, you strengthen the neural connections so that it eventually becomes automatic.”

sensory characteristics Lombard offers guidelines (see box) to identify sensation seekers and avoiders, but she cautions that how children react to their sensory profiles is dependent on their home, school, culture and physical environment. Parents should be vigilant and aware that if any of the characteristics present excessively and impact on the child’s learning and development, specialised intervention is required.

sensory intelligence tips There’s an incredible amount of noise in the world today. We live in a plugged-in, hyper-energetic 21st century in which there is a daily sensory overload. According to the New York Times, a new study shows that everyone is bombarded by the equivalent of 174 newspapers of data a day, so it’s crucial that you find smart ways to manage your child’s sensory assimilation.

top tips... be prepared When children are prepared in advance for a party or situation that might cause sensory disruption, they can create an internal dialogue to better prepare and manage the event. Think carefully about spur-of-themoment outings and surprises and instead lean towards predictability and structure.

sensitive to movement This often presents as carsickness and can also sometimes influence your child’s choice of sport. To counter carsickness, you might try letting your child chew on biltong or an apple, as those can be self-regulatory. Sports that involve running and biking will be more tolerable than

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gymnastics and increased head movements will overload the movement system quickly.

the comfort of the womb Create a “womb space” in your child’s bedroom. He or she can access this space independently when feeling overloaded, however, it’s important to stress that this is a time-out strategy and not a form of disciplining bad behaviour. Allowing your child to gather in the “womb space” prepares him or her for the next activity.

to touch, or not to touch How often does your tactile sensitive child fuss about a scratchy label or clothing texture? Due to unique genetic coding, your child may be sensitive to a sound, texture or smell you are not, so it’s difficult to understand the immense discomfort and sometimes even pain of a tactile sensitivity. Choose clothing with your child, cut out the labels and wash the item before he or she wears something new to lessen discomfort.

sensory inputs Deep, firm touch or pressure, slow movements, gentle colours and warm, sweet tastes like lavender and chamomile are effective when your child is in overload. Conversely, when your child needs stimulation or is “waking up” after a shutdown, the following could help him or her recharge: light touch, bright colours, fast movements and mint and citrus smells.

high threshold characteristics of a sensation-seeking child ✻✻ Active, fidgety, on-the-go, excitable, loud, noisy ✻✻ Continuously engaging, hyperactive, impulsive ✻✻ Takes excessive risks, poor regard for safety ✻✻ Constantly moving, touching, mouthing or biting objects ✻✻ Chews on pencils, toys, clothes ✻✻ Bumps, crashes, tackles – enjoys hard, physical contact

in short

✻✻ Moves and explores continuously

The need for sensory intelligence is perhaps greater than it has ever been in a world in which our children have more choice than any other generation. They make decisions about who they are and how they choose to live with an inherent sense of knowing that is as natural as swiping, touching and tapping the devices that are so ubiquitous in their life. An intelligent response to sensory challenges is one that is considered, measured and inclusive and always focused on building the child up rather than breaking him down. Earlier this year, Elanora Heights Public School in Sydney, Australia, introduced a “silent cheer” policy, which asks students to refrain from clapping and instead punch the air, pull excited faces or wriggle about, as a means of showing respect to members of the school community who are sensitive to noise. While this may seem extreme, research increasingly points to the need to kick convention to the curb and nurture your child according to his or her individual needs without sacrificing discipline and boundaries.

✻✻ Creative, energetic ✻✻ Needs more supervision, safety awareness and strict boundaries

low threshold characteristics of a sensation-avoiding child ✻✻ Emotionally reactive, sensitive, can be anxious ✻✻ Resistant to change, reliant on structure and rigid rituals ✻✻ Hyper-vigilant: always scanning the environment and very intuitive and detail-orientated ✻✻ Withdraws from stimuli and/or people ✻✻ Only tolerates limited clothing fabric and/or foods ✻✻ Refuses messy activities ✻✻ Withdraws from touching and cuddling ✻✻ Can be aggressive and demanding

November 2016

how to

to man cave or not to man cave

Most men, and boys, want a private space especially dedicated to their toys, gadgets and collectables. cHrIStINa caStle went looking for advice and tips

e were no sooner out of the parking lot at cape Town airport, having just sent 18-year-old dylan off to the UK for a gap year, when our 15-year-old son, Alex, made it very clear his intentions to expand his territory. He had obviously given it plenty of thought. “i am going to convert dylan’s bedroom into my man cave,” he announced. “But you have a man cave,” i said. “it is called your bedroom.” “Not the same thing, mom. it doesn’t have a TV. No Xbox, no music system, no fridge, no bean bags, no table tennis,” he listed. “But you pretty much have all these things in other areas of the house. The TV and Xbox are in the play room, the music is in the lounge, the fridge is in the kitchen and we don’t have table tennis,” i appeased. “Not the same thing, mom,” he added. “Besides, James has a man cave. it’s amazing, you have to see it.” And so i had a royal tour of James’ man cave a few days later. Alex’s friend, James, is the youngest of three. His older brother Andrew moved out when he went off to university and Andrew’s room had been transformed into James’ man cave – the sort that Alex was now requesting. i was pleasantly surprised. Relieved, in fact. let’s just say that what Alex considered “amazing” was somewhat different to my concept of “amazing”. James’ man cave had a TV and the paraphernalia that is generally associated with a TV and well, let’s say, that was it. There might have been a bed… maybe it was a mattress. Amazing. it was clear that what Alex really wanted was a place he could hang with his mates, without his parents in his face or space.

November 2016

my husband and i have been officially “cringe” for quite some time now. We’re okay with that. And while we completely understand Alex’s need for space and privacy, do we really need to dedicate an entire room to the sanctity of Alex and his manly expression? like i said, “it’s called your bedroom.” it’s just short a few items on Alex’s wish list. Besides, i often feel like our entire house is a man cave of sorts. Ours is a male dominated household. cricket bags, rackets and bats, half-built model aeroplanes, balls of all description, skateboards and surfboards, have become the default decor in our house. There are days i feel it looks more like my old university digs. i substituted pretty for practical years ago. So, surely, if anyone deserved a sanctuary of sorts it should be me. Bring back the pretty. So before Alex could mark his territory, i figured i needed a plan of action that could satisfy all our needs and made a quick call to my decorator guru bestie, Sam. She knows my family and its dynamics intricately. She also knows I am decoratively challenged. Thank heavens for the Sams of this world. As it turns out, her 13-year-old son, matt, has just ditched the trusted Thomas the Tank engine, Asterix and Tintin decor for something a little more manly. Even the collection of dinosaurs have ended up in a box in the garage. “There’s no spare room for a man cave for matt. His man cave is his bedroom,” says Sam. “Whether it’s a bedroom or a man cave, the principles of decorating the teenage boy’s play pen are exactly the same.” Don’t decorate without him. include him in the process no matter how clueless he might be. it’s his room, let him tell you what he likes, doesn’t like and let him make the final call. He will give you a shopping list of “gadgets”,

like a TV, an Xbox, a fridge, table tennis… it’s up to you to make the final call on that one. Keep it classic. do you really want to be doing this every year? Keep the core colour as neutral as possible. make it versatile and one that won’t date. Grey and other earthy colours are so easy to work with and won’t date. Accent it with graphic cushions, prints for the wall and a good dose of texture. Go for primal. Actually feral is probably a better word to use. Bones and other earthly items make for interesting objet d’art. A furry rug might make you cringe, but it’s cosy, cave-manish and kind of grand in a Hugh-Hefner- Playboymansion sort of way. Make sure it’s not exclusive. One minute it’s a bedroom, the next it’s a man cave. chances are it will be required as a guest room. A man cave needs to be welcoming and maybe accommodate – make it a space everyone will be comfortable in – even parents. Two months later… Alex has missed out on his man cave. We have compromised and decided to buy him a Hugh Hefner furry blanket. i also found a monkey skull at a junk shop down the road. He’s not getting a TV or a fridge in his bedroom. He doesn’t seem too bleak, though he still finds my husband and i “cringe”. We are still okay with that. i have claimed dylan’s bedroom as my weekend reading and dosing room. No one in the family has worked that out yet, except for the dogs. matt is ecstatic with his new bedroom, though Sam thinks he secretly misses his dinosaurs. James has lost his man cave. Andrew moved home and laid claim to his old room. James now has to watch TV with the rest of the family. He’s not too bleak. magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: liSA WATeRlOO / SHUTTeRSTOcK.cOm

when her teen insisted on getting his little Man’s cave.

magazine durban

November 2016

PHOTOGRAPH: LISA WATERLOO / SHUTTERSTOCK.com

resource

Children thrive when they play with toys. The interaction also prepares their brains for the challenges of adulthood. CHILD MAGAZINE compiles a list of winners on the toy scene.

for ages 3-6

for ages 0-2 for the mind

for the mind Blocks This is one of the simplest ways for a two-yearold to sharpen their gross and fine motor skills. It also introduces them to maths concepts and problem-solving. They will learn about the weight of the block, stability, balance and, as their towers topple, gravity.

add to the fun Electronic talking toys These promote language development. Interactive puppies can be programmed by a parent with a tablet, smartphone or computer to make learning fun. Books Reading to your child is great for language development, getting them to listen to the sounds and rhythms of speech, and understand the meaning of words. It also makes them eager to learn to read. Use board, vinyl or cloth books with babies. Non-toxic art materials Children can express themselves creatively with washable crayons and markers, large paintbrushes and finger paint, paper for drawing and painting, toddler-friendly scissors, and chalkboards with large chalk.

to keep them active Balance bikes These are suitable for two-year-olds who want to get to grips with their first bike. They’ll teach children to balance and get them to enjoy the outdoors. Children who ride balance bikes generally ride pedal bikes independently at a younger age. Don’t forget a helmet.

add to the fun Sandpit A sandpit is a great sensory toy as children get to explore their sense of touch and discover the texture of sand. Add nesting toys, spades and buckets and show them how they can build, sculpt and make patterns in the sand. This develops fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination. Activity walkers Walkers assist children as they develop from crawlers to walkers. They offer sturdy support as well as entertaining activities, such as buttons that produce music, piano keys, spinning gears, a telephone handset and buttons that light up.

Tablets There are a variety of tablets on the market for younger children, from child-friendly e-readers to those that come preloaded with suitable games for children. For children that are a little older, there are more advanced tablets with which you can download apps and educational games. On the more advanced tablets, parents should monitor which apps and games children are using, to ensure that they learn to play responsibly. Getting a cover or case for the tablet is also a good idea.

add to the fun Music and CD players This could include electronic musical instruments like keyboards, drum mats or microphones, or CD players with singalong tracks. Remote control gadgets Remote control cars or items like gyrocopters that you can control with a smartphone can get children excited about how robotics and programming work.

to keep them active Bouncers Items like pogo sticks, balls that children can sit on and bounce, tin can stilts (or commercial versions like monster feet with rope handles attached), all encourage balance, coordination and core development. These are handy for indoor or outdoor play and can help children get some exercise and burn up excess energy on a rainy day.

add to the fun Bats and balls Develop your child’s coordination and ball skills with swing balls, sports equipment like a cricket bat or tennis racket, soccer balls, beach balls or tennis balls. Ball skills that children can practise include throwing and catching, kicking, dribbling or bouncing.

Toys are more than just fun and games. They provide children with an opportunity to learn and explore the world. There is something for everyone, from high-tech toys and gadgets that teach a multitude of skills, to the nostalgic toys of our youth that are making a comeback. 14

November 2016

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LEFT PAGE PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com | PHOTOGRAPHS OF CHILDREN: TOP LEFT & TOP RIGHT: Megan Hancock Photography meganhancockphotography.co.za | BOTTOM LEFT: Natalie Edy photography natalieedy.com | bottom right: Hugatree Photography hugatreephotography.co.za

it’s playtime

for ages 10-13 for the mind Circuits This makes learning electronics easy and fun, and children learn to be more than just consumers of technology. For a guided approach to engineering, circuit kits have different parts inlcuding sensors, buzzers and lights. children follow a manual to build projects, such as Fm radios, digital voice recorders, burglar alarms, doorbells, and more. Kits usually come in beginner, intermediate and advance stages.

add to the fun

for the mind RiGHT PAGe PHOTOGRAPHS: TOP leFT: HUGATRee PHOTOGRAPHy HUGATReePHOTOGRAPHy.cO.zA | middle leFT: yVeTTe dReyeR-FeRReiRA | BOTTOm leFT: SHUTTeRSTOcK.cOm | RiGHT: ROedeAN GRAHAm de lAcy ROedeANScHOOl.cO.zA

leFT PAGe PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTeRSTOcK.cOm | PHOTOGRAPHS OF cHildReN: TOP leFT & TOP RiGHT: meGAN HANcOcK PHOTOGRAPHy meGANHANcOcKPHOTOGRAPHy.cO.zA | BOTTOm leFT: NATAlie edy PHOTOGRAPHy NATAlieedy.cOm | BOTTOm RiGHT: HUGATRee PHOTOGRAPHy HUGATReePHOTOGRAPHy.cO.zA

for ages 7-9

Games for coding Knowing how to code can give children an advantage in today’s techfocused world and it helps children to develop logic. children don’t need a computer to start learning about programming. There are puzzles, board games, apps and websites that teach children the basics and more. look out for programmable robots that can be controlled with apps, or games like Robot Turtles that teach children logic. There is also a pocket-sized computer called Raspberry Pi, which older children can use to learn and practise coding on.

add to the fun Robots or robot kits There are a variety of toy robots on the market, or you can go for toys that children get to build first and then programme. Microscopes or telescopes Children can learn about the stars, or explore the microscopic make-up of the world around them, while building on a love for science.

Toy drones This basically means an unmanned aircraft, which is piloted from a remote station (control); collectively they are referred to as drones. Some are controlled by a palm remote or go for the ornithopter – an aircraft that can flap its wings. Droids These are robots that can be manoeuvred with a smartphone app. “Ultimate Creator” toys Toys and crafts of this trend teach children to skilfully cook, design, build, grow and create physical and digital spaces. many teach techniques and skills that can be applied throughout life.

to keep them active Casterboards. With one of these you can “glide” around your neighbourhood, taking in all the sights. Also called a vigorboard, it’s a type of skateboard that’s also a snakeboard. casterboards are propelled by shifting weight from one foot to the other, and they are similar to snowboards as they allow you to maintain momentum without ever touching the ground.

add to the fun Backyard ziplines The new breed of residential zipline systems stretch up to about 150m and has a braking system that slowly brings you to a stop over the last 10m. Balance board Use of a balance board can help to develop balance, core strength and flexibility. it’s also beneficial for cognitive, visual, motor skills and sporting development. Wheeled carts These are somewhere between a pedal car and a go-kart, with elements of a normal bicycle and a scooter. you control it like a bike, while reclined, and push yourself forward. it’s designed for children 4–14 years old, and the size can be adjusted as your child grows.

to keep them active Inflatable toys Blow up a sumo suit and let children have fun trying to wrestle each other. Set up inflatable chess, skittles or other giant garden games. Or look out for giant plastic bubbles, similar to zorb balls, that you blow up and put over your heads for games like bubble soccer. These types of games are ideal for playdates, holiday fun or even parties, and children can play with them in the garden while developing gross motor skills.

add to the fun Water toys Once children are confident in the water and know about water safety, let them have fun with slip ‘n slides, pool volleyball, pool cricket or other water games.

toys making a comeback

✻ Board games Playing board games is an easy and great way to spend enjoyable family time together, and these games are also rich in learning opportunities. ✻ Hot Wheels Great for all ages to learn teamwork, use their imagination, get creative and learning maths concepts and problem-solving. ✻ Rubik’s Cube The benefits are endless: tests determination, problem-solving, understanding concepts… ✻ Trolls and Monchichis Developing role playing and imagination ✻ Marbles Great for social interaction, learning gamesmanship, and improving gross-, mathematical- and negotiation skills (Not for toddlers or small children – choking hazard) ✻ Meccano Improves creativity, spatial skills, gross and fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination, communication, and learning mathematical and science concepts. ✻ Sylvanian Families Hours of endless creative possibilities. ✻ Hello Kitty Games Safe for children and they get to learn about faraway places. ✻ Play dough Excellent for fine motor development, encourages free play, growing of creative play, can be used in maths and literacy development, and it has a calming effect. ✻ Building blocks Develops lateral thinking, teaches children to think three-

Walkie talkies With a set of two-way radios, children will be out of the house, playing advanced hide and seek and automatically strategising in teams.

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dimensionally, helps motor development, improves creativity, helps critical thinking, aids problem-solving, and working with instructions aids literacy.

November 2016

getaway

life’s a beach in

mauritius NIck Dall and his family weren’t sure what to expect from a Mauritius resort holiday. But now they can’t wait to go back.

decisions, decisions Sometimes it can take a while to get into holiday mode, but the combo of short flight, lovely hotel and ample food and drink, meant that by the time we woke up the next morning we were undeniably on “island time”. Poached or fried? Pool or beach? lager or pilsner? These were the kind of nerve-wracking decisions we were faced with on an almost hourly basis. The beach was absolutely perfect for toddlers – waveless, warm and generally knee-deep – and we all spent a lot of time in the water. Whenever the sun got a bit much, we would order a fresh coconut and three straws – the ultimate hydration fluid and a lot more exciting to drink than watered down rooibos tea. The restaurant was also great. The combination of buffet and made-to-order food remained interesting to us adults for (almost) the entire duration of our stay, and there was always something to tempt our picky two-year-old.

November 2016

spreading our wings Blissful though our routine of sleeping, eating, swimming and sleeping was, we did eventually feel the need to explore the island a bit more. A trip on the hotel’s glass-bottomed boat was a real hit and i also went on a snorkelling excursion, which would have been really amazing with older children. We were staying in a fairly remote corner of the island, and after looking into taxi prices we soon decided that the best way to see more of mauritius would be to rent a car. After one very short phone call we’d arranged a car (with a baby-seat) for the following morning. Because mauritius is such a small place, distances are short, maps are easy to read, and you won’t have to worry about running out of petrol. They also drive on the same side of the road as we do. We had the car for a couple of days and were amazed by the diversity of the island. The coast road from Belle mare to Grande Baie passed some amazing beaches and mangrove swamps, while the sugar cane fields and forests in the hilly centre of the island were also very picturesque. The tourist epicentre of Grand Baie was pleasant enough, but seeing a Spur and a Sharks Supporters club definitely vindicated our decision not to stay there. We’re diehard Province fans… The real highlight of our self-drive escapade was the Sir Seewoosagur Ramgoolam Botanical Gardens – or Pamplemousses as it’s known locally. The gardens are some of the best in the world, and their eye-catching centrepiece is the pond of giant lilies with leaves as big as family-sized pizzas. Botanists also get very excited about the gardens’ dazzling array of palms, but toddlers seem more partial to the giant Aldabra tortoises and rather forlorn-looking deer.

the little things By the time our seventh night came we were very seriously considering extending our stay, so we must have had a good time. As is generally the case with children, it’s the most random things that have stuck in madam’s head. To this day she’ll be able to tell you our hotel room number (1121) magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTeRSTOcK.cOm

efore my wife and I had children, we scoffed at the idea of mundane mauritius and chose instead to holiday in exotic, edgy places like Bolivia, Vietnam and Peru. When our eldest daughter turned two we finally came to our senses and realised that real holidays should be all about sun, sea, sand and sleep. We booked an all-inclusive package to a resort that was both smallish and newish and started to stock up on swim nappies and sunblock. When the big day finally arrived we were in definite need of a holiday. Fortunately, the fivehour flight was a breeze as madam spent most of her time entranced by the mermaid stickers in the Air mauritius goodie bag. With that out of the way, we could finally get onto the serious business of relaxation. The resort was everything we had hoped it would be. lush gardens, a large peaceful pool and a distinct lack of loudspeakers, bingo halls and super-tubes. The best part was that our ground floor room actually opened directly onto the beach.

travel tips

But Madam fell so in love with a plastic jungle gym in the departure lounge, that hours passed like minutes and soon enough we were being jumped on by two very excited dogs and ignored by one rather cheesed off cat. Now that our second daughter is nearly two we can hear Mauritius calling our names again.

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

and she’ll also never forget which movie we watched on “outdoor cinema evening” (Despicable Me). She still refers to the travel pram we bought especially for the trip as “my Mauritius pram” and she often tells friends in the school playground “I’m just going to Ile Maurice now.” When our flight home was delayed by four hours we both assumed the wheels would finally have to fall off.

✻✻ When choosing a resort, it makes sense to research the different regions of the island. We opted for the quieter eastern side, but there are several other options and all have their merits. ✻✻ Once you’ve zeroed in on a region, you’ll likely be presented with a number of deals. We used Trip Advisor to separate the wheat from the chaff. ✻✻ Renting a car was cheap, easy and highly recommended. Driving on the island wasn’t too hair-raising either. ✻✻ The full board option (all meals, most drinks and free activities) was great as it eliminated nasty surprises at checkout. ✻✻ Because our daughter was so young we didn’t make much use of the resort’s childcare centre, but it did seem like a great service with caring staff and loads of fun activities for all ages. ✻✻ Packing isn’t rocket science, but we were really glad we took a stretchy swimming hat for our daughter. Beach shoes are also a good idea as some beaches can have quite a lot of coral. ✻✻ South African passport holders don’t need a visa to enter Mauritius. ✻✻ The only vaccines recommended are tetanus and Hepatitis A. But always speak to your healthcare practitioner first.

magazine durban

November 2016

education

cracking

Figuring out what your child’s report card actually means can be more complicated than you think. taMlyN VINceNt finds out what you need to know.

e tries hard. He has improved. He needs to stay focused. As report card comments go, these are probably pretty standard. But what do they mean? does “tries hard” mean he’s trying, but not quite there? Or perhaps he puts in the effort, but he’ll never be a great musician. Or maybe it means that if he tries harder still, he will be. deciphering report cards can sometimes be difficult, especially if they come with comments parents don’t want to hear. But knowing what to look out for means you can help your child be better prepared when it comes to schooling.

making the grade The first step is in understanding what the teacher means in a report. Kim lawrence, a foundation phase head of department (HOd), says because teachers work with young minds they can sometimes sugarcoat reports. But a well-written report requires a teacher to be specific and direct, giving parents the facts so that they can process the information without forming a distorted perception. While this responsibility falls to the teacher, parents should also familiarise themselves with how the school grades their children. For younger grades, this may be on a scale of one to seven, while older children receive a percentage. Parents can also establish what counts towards that grade – whether it’s based on outcomes only, or if the process, effort, commitment or other factors enter into the equation. even with understanding all of these factors, reading your child’s report may still seem like code breaking. lawrence says that with phrases like “your child is encouraged to work harder” or “apply himself” the teacher is often saying that this area or subject needs more attention and more input from the child. if, according to your child’s report card, “your child is making slow progress”, then he’s not learning at the same rate as his classmates. Of course, all teachers have different comments and ways of evaluating your child, so if you are in any doubt, ask what a comment or grade means.

reading the fine print While some children may dread handing over their report (and some parents may dread receiving it), it’s an important part of understanding how your child is progressing. “Knowing what to look out for when reading a school report is essential for parents, regardless of the final mark their child receives,” says edublox director of educational programmes Susan du Plessis. The report gives parents an indication of areas their child is doing well, along with those areas that need additional work. One of these indicators, says lawrence, is grades or comments showing that your child is underperforming according to the required benchmarks, or saying he hasn’t met the requirements for the grade. Grades reflecting a poor understanding of a subject or subject area, and assessment scores that show little or no improvement, are also red flags for parents. lawrence adds that other indicators could include recommendations made by the teacher or an indication of social or emotional challenges.

November 2016

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PHOTOGRAPH ANd illUSTRATiONS: SHUTTeRSTOcK.cOm

Keep in mind that teachers really do have the best interests of each child at heart.

PHOTOGRAPH and illustrations: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

the code

Moving onto a new phase, such as Grade 1 or Grade 4, often means more (and harder) work for children, which can be a big adjustment. Knowing your child is ready can help, so look for this in the report. Du Plessis says children going into Grade 1 should have the language skills and vocabulary to learn to read and spell. They should also be able to understand and follow instructions, copy from the board and count, cut with scissors and colour in. In Grade 4, the subject load increases and children will start writing formal tests and exams. Looking at reports in Grade R and Grade 3 can help parents establish whether their child is ready, or if he needs to work on certain areas, advises Du Plessis.

deal with it Your child’s report may be everything you expected and more. But how parents deal with the unexpected plays an important part in their child’s academic success. Take time to look at and understand your child’s report. Du Plessis then suggests that parents set aside some time to discuss the report with their child – looking at his current performance and figuring out where he needs to go from there. This can apply to children who haven’t performed up to the standard of the grade or their peers, but equally so to A-grade children who haven’t reached their full potential. Children who are high achievers, adds Du Plessis, may even require additional challenges and enrichment throughout the terms and the holidays. Those that are struggling may also need extra help, but Du Plessis warns that curriculum-based extra classes can’t solve learning problems caused by deficits in cognitive skills. In this case, support that teaches foundational learning skills, specifically memory, perception, logical thinking and concentration, would be more appropriate. Poor marks, and comments or recommendations that indicate your child isn’t coping, may make parents angry or upset. “Keep in mind that teachers really do have the best interests of each child at heart,” says Lawrence. But if you really don’t understand or agree with your child’s report, then arrange to meet with the teacher. Lawrence says that a meeting with your child’s teacher is a two-way stream, and parents should be prepared to listen as the teacher presents them with the facts. Parents can query the comments, but should stick to the issue and look for the best solution for the child. “Don’t turn the meeting into an adversarial space,” adds Lawrence. While reports are useful indicators of your child’s progress, they are by no means the only point of contact a parent should have with the school. Your child’s performance, says Lawrence, is a collaborative effort between the school and home. Likewise, educational aims and potential problems should not first come to light in the school report. Parents should be aware if their children are struggling, having social or emotional difficulties, or are not living up to their potential, before the report comes. The teachers and support staff are also available throughout the term. So if you need clarity, have a question or concern, or just need to check in, the channels of communication should always be open.

If you are in any doubt, ask what a comment or grade means.

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November 2016

how to

CAMILLA RANKIN discovers that, when it

he saying: “It’s the thought that counts” is by no means a novel concept, and yet somewhere in the pinging of WhatsApps and emails asking for year-end teacher gift contributions, real “thought” so often gets lost. And now research is showing that, for our children especially, losing the thought behind gift-giving is also a lost opportunity to develop essential life skills. In terms of gift-giving, “thought” translates into reflection, time, effort and intention. It also means developing a sense of gratitude and taking the time to step into someone else’s shoes. “The sweetest (and funniest) thing I have been given was a half-used roll of deodorant that a child had taken off her mom’s dresser and wrapped up for me,” laughs foundation phase teacher Anna Smith, “but it totally felt more special as she knew I loved perfume and she thought the deodorant smelt nice.” Grade 1 teacher Colette Hinds agrees, “My best gift was one of those horrible plastic trophies with ‘No. 1 Teacher’ on it, but what made it so special was that I knew he had saved his pocket money to buy it for me.” These are not new sentiments: teachers love personal gifts, “you know, the gift that some little child has put their heart into,” says Sharon Court (Grade 1), and academic research proves it. Dr Dylan Clark, anthropology professor at the University of Toronto, found in his research into gift-giving that, “teachers wished parents would believe them when they say letters, cards and heartfelt thanks mean the most”. Studies by Frank Flynn and Gabrielle Adams, organisational behaviour researchers at Stanford Graduate School

November 2016

than that, “thought” is an essential life skill

of Business, also repeatedly showed that people receiving gifts do not appreciate more expensive gifts any more than less expensive ones, even though most gift-givers assume that they will – the R250 for something really wanted shows you appreciate and value them much more than a R2 000 voucher does.

that our children need to develop.

gifting is good for the giver too

comes to giving teachers a year-end gift, it really is the thought that counts, but more

It turns out that the “thought” shown by those two children not only meant a great deal to their teachers, but will also stand them in very good stead for their futures. Research in 2014 from Hofstra University, New York, has found that children who understand intention and gratitude are, “happier and more optimistic, have better social support, are more satisfied with their school, family, community, friends, and themselves, and give more emotional support to others.” Researcher Dr Jeffery Froh explains, “gratitude does more than just make children feel good; it also improves their mood, mental health, and life satisfaction, and can jumpstart more purposeful engagement in life at a critical moment in their development, when their identity is taking shape.” Joburgbased school psychologist and a mother of three, Sarah van Olst, agrees. “By choosing a present or wrapping paper, cutting the sticky tape or writing a card, a child is giving up his or her own time and energy, which is dedicated to the thinking of, or considering another person – a vital developmental leap for the ego-centric toddler or young child. It also develops empathy, altruism and authenticity – skills all needed for psychological wellbeing.” Froh goes further to say that these skills are not just an issue for families, “…it’s an

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

the gift of giving

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTeRSTOcK.cOm

What made it so special was that I knew he had saved his pocket money to buy it for me. issue for societies. As our world becomes more culturally diverse and digitally connected, and as complex societal problems mount, gratitude may help catalyse the motivation and skills youth need to succeed not just academically but in life too.” And taking the time to think about, plan and action a gift for a beloved teacher is the perfect opportunity to model gratitude and teach these values to our children.

the opposite is also true in the same way that thoughtful gifts can promote wellbeing and appreciation in both giver and receiver, group or last-minute gifts can (rightly or wrongly) send the message that the gift was given purely out of obligation. louise cork duly handed over the R100 towards the “thank-you” gift for a teacher whose lack of empathy and experience left her oncejoyful daughter feeling extremely anxious and unhappy, because, she explains, “in part, the R100 contribution was a safe, easy option, but it also required no real involvement or commitment. it was easy to hand over a bit of cash and for it to mean very little – i would not have asked my child to choose a present, or write a card with a sweet letter, but i also did not want to be the free rider.” Well thought-out gifts show a person you have thought about them specifically, show how well you know them and that you want to buy a gift that they will like and genuinely appreciate, even if it did not cost very much. “i always appreciate any gift from a class, or learner,” says colette, “but i have been given very generous gifts that i know i won’t use, and then i just feel guilty or embarrassed when they go to waste.” So, whatever you decide to do for your child’s teacher this year, what matters most is getting your child involved in the process, and as Grade 2 teacher Jenny Karsen says, “Just don’t forget the card – that is the part that no teacher throws away.”

it’s party time

magazine durban

November 2016

books

for toddlers Fireman Sam: Race to the Rescue

a good

read

We’ve rounded up these books to get the whole family reading. For more inspiration visit our online books blog.

for early graders Judy Moody’s Mini-mysteries and Other Sneaky Stuff for Super-sleuths By Megan McDonald and Peter H Reynolds (Published by Candlewick Press, R78) Help Judy moody, aka detective Judy drewdy, solve six mini-mysteries. As a detective in training, children will also learn how to make their own detective kit (with S.O.S lipstick), communicate with fellow agents using secret codes, find hidden messages in handwriting and more.

for pre-teens and teens Relationships By R.A Kahn

(Published by Egmont Books, R119) Based on the characters of this very popular children’s television series, this board book will delight especially little boys. By pushing, sliding and pulling tabs, they can go on an adventure to rescue lion the cat, put out a fire and fly to do a mountain rescue.

for preschoolers The African Orchestra By Wendy Hartmann and Joan Rankin (Published by Jacana Media, R137) This book lyrically captures the magic of the African sounds of nature. From the clicking of crickets to the crackle of the fire, follow the journey that celebrates these sounds. “crackling fires, the patter of rain. Thundering hooves on the African plain. Wind in the grass. These were the sounds which were music to man.”

for pre-teens and teens Awful Auntie By David Walliams (Published by HarperCollins Children’s Books, R116) From number one bestselling author david Walliams,comes another heartfelt, but hilarious, hoot of an adventure. Stella Saxby is the sole heir to Saxby Hall. But awful Aunt Alberta and her giant owl will stop at nothing to get it from her. luckily Stella has a secret, and a slightly spooky weapon up her sleeve. The book also won a UK audio book of the year award, and many reviewers believe Walliams’ books (with gems such as The Boy in the Dress) will become classics.

(Self-published, R160) This is a story of teenage relationships over a short time at a high school, and all the trials and tribulations, the highs and lows, seen through the eyes of isabella. it’s an easy read with plenty of action for children from the age of 10 years old. it gives relevant glimpses into the world of high school, and addresses issues this age group can relate to. One teacher commented in a review “it’s a sensible book, which is not ‘preachy’ and yet gets many valuable messages to the young.” The author is a retired teacher from cape Town. Order the book from amazon. com or bookdepository.com

November 2016

for us My Grandmother sends her Regards and Apologies By Fredrik Backman

parenting Ella’s Kitchen: The First Foods Book

(Published by Sceptre, R278) Some might call elsa’s grandmother “eccentric”, or even “crazy”. elsa calls her a superhero. And Granny’s stories of knights, princesses, dragons and castles, are her superpower. Because, elsa is starting to learn heroes and villains don’t always exist in imaginary kingdoms; they could live just down the hallway. As christmas draws near, even the best superhero grandmothers may have one or two things they’d like to apologise for.

(Published by Hamlyn, R245) This book is to help make weaning easy. you can choose from 130 recipes, especially created for toddlers. From veggie purees to family meals and finger foods, these dishes take your baby step-by-step to the big table. ella’s team of experts gives helpful advice, and the book offers tips and experiences from other moms and dads. it also includes imaginative ideas, techniques and activities to help little ones learn to love food. The book touches on what weaning means and the weaning signs. it also gives a list of foods to avoid and introducing new drinks to your baby, as well as a handy weaning chart and cupboard “heroes”. magazine durban

Access an extended calendar online at

what’s on in november

childmag.co.za or submit an event for December/January before 4 November to durban@ childmag.co.za

compiled by taMlyN VINceNt

4 5

Collegevale Primary Spring Dance

The dress code for this spring dance fundraiser is elegant. It starts at 7pm at St John’s Church Hall, Sydenham. Tickets are R100. Contact 031 208 8581

Pandora Pre-Primary School open day

This school caters for children 2–6 years old and has a baby centre. The open day is from 9am–11am at 61 Acute Rd, Bluff. Contact 031 467 4221 or pandorapre@ telkomsa.net

6 See masses of barn swallows that have just returned from the Northern Hemisphere, gather together before evening roosting. Arrive half an hour before sunset or 5pm at the Barn Swallow viewing site, Mount Moreland. For more info: barnswallow.co.za

11 Storks PHOTOGRAPHS ANd illUSTRATiONS: SHUTTeRSTOcK.cOm

This

animated

film

of Junior, a top delivery who

activates

The Hollywood Walk of Fame – Child Welfare Durban and District’s fundraising evening

the

accidentally Baby

Making

Machine, producing an unauthorized, baby girl. Now Junior and his friend Tulip need to deliver this baby before the boss finds out. Opens today in cinemas nationwide. For more info: numetro.co.za or sterkinekor.com magazine durban

Join Deutsche Schule Durban from 5pm–9pm for tasty German treats, lovely Christmas presents and good company. For details contact Hannah on 031 267 1307 or marketing@dsdurban.co.za

An evening of foot tapping entertainment to the tunes of music from the greatest dance movies ever. It starts at 6:30pm at The Barnyard Theatre. Contact Glenda on 031 312 9313 or info@cwdd.org.za

Weber Grill Academy

Flag Animal Farm On weekends, there’s a great line up of shows where children can watch and learn about animals. At 11am and 3:45pm there is wolf interaction, Barney and Dora are at

Master your gas or charcoal braai in this hands-on, fun and informative gourmet braai lesson. For more info: geckoschool.co.za

11:30am, there’s a milking show at 12pm and 3pm, Mickey Mouse comes along at 12:30pm and there’s a reptile show at 1:30pm. For more info: flaganimalfarm.co.za

Ian von Memerty takes eight songs from the greatest songwriting piano stars and delivers a smash-hit show. It runs until 13 November at the Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre. Book through computicket.com

UB40 featuring Ali, Astro and Mickey Britain’s biggest reggae band of all time performs classic hits and gems from their albums Labour Of Love Parts I and II at the Durban Botanic Gardens. Book through computicket.com

13 Global Diabetes 5km walk and wellness expo

Corridor

follows the adventures stork,

Weihnachtsmarkt / Deutsche Schule Durban Christmas market

9 Keyboard Killers

Return of the swallows

calendar

Megan Bonnetard’s exhibition shows at ArtSpace in Durban, from 12–24 November. Janine Jollands follows with an exhibition of paintings from 19 November–1 December. For more info: artspacedurban. blogspot.co.za

The Annual Global Diabetes 5km walk and wellness expo raises awareness of diabetes. Free testing takes place at the event. It starts at 8am at the Amphitheatre, Lower Marine Parade. Pre-enter by contacting Diabetes SA for the entry form on 084 717 7443 or durban@diabetessa.org.za November 2016

calendar

Open day at

Chocolates and Edible Gifts

Waterfall Preparatory

Learn how to make beautiful and delicious treats for your loved ones with these gifts that say “I love you”. It takes place from 6pm and costs R350. For more info: geckoschool.co.za

Admissions are open for Grades R–3 and there

The Festive Gift Fair

This indoor and outdoor exhibition includes unique Christmas gifts, crafts, clothing, decorations, local artisan products, jewellery, children’s gifts and lots of Christmas spirit. It’s open until 20 November at the Durban Exhibition Centre. For more info visit Facebook: The Festive Gift Fair Durban 2016

is tea and a tour at 9am and an evening talk

and

tour

Get in some early Christmas shopping. The fair runs from 9am–3pm. Contact Jami for more info on 031 566 5736

The Sound of Music Roger and Hammerstein`s much loved musical tells the well-known tale of the musical Von Trapp family and their journey of love and survival during the second world war in Austria. It shows at the Playhouse until 30 December. Book tickets through computicket.com

This family-friendly music festival raises funds and awareness for the Movember Foundation. The foundation helps to deliver innovative, breakthrough programmes that allow men to live happier, healthier and longer lives. It starts at 1pm at Camp Orchard, Hillcrest. Contact Garron for more info at garron@movember.com

5:30pm. For more info: waterfallprep.co.za

1st for Women Sisters with Blisters This protest walk against gender-based violence takes place at Chris Saunders Park at 8am. For more info: sisterswithblisters.co.za

Reddam House Umhlanga Christmas Fair

Movember Live Music Festival presented by Quattro

20 26 Quiksilver Off the Lip Movember surf contest This family-friendly event, which is hosted by Quiksilver and the Movember Foundation, sees 72 surfers competing in six-man heats with surfers dressing up in retro gear and surfing on 70s surfboards. It starts at 8am at Beach Bums, Umdloti. Contact Dane for more info at dane. patto@quiksilver.co.za

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Older children and adults will enjoy this magical story about Newt Scamander, who has just completed a global excursion to find and document extraordinary magical creatures. The film opens today. For more info: numetro. co.za or sterkinekor.com

26 Remembrance Day

This is a day for bereaved parents and family of children who have died from cancer. It takes place from 9am–11am at the Choc Lodge, Inkosi Albert Luthuli Central Hospital. Contact 086 111 2182 or dbn@choc.org.za for details.

Prime Circle This South African rock band kicks

What to expect when

off the festive season at The Barnyard

you’ve expected

again on 1 December. For more info:

This one-woman, stand-up comedy show takes a look at the first few months after your baby arrives. Shows are at 2pm and 6:30pm

Theatre with their hits. They perform barnyardtheatres.co.za

at The Rhumbelow. Book through computicket.com

November 2016

magazine durban

markets Essenwood Market Enjoy a fun family day of shopping, alfresco meals and live music. There are carnival games and rides, a fully-equipped playground and free pony rides. It’s open every Saturday from 9am–2pm at the Berea Park. For more info: 082 460 0625 or info@essenwoodmarket.com

Shongweni Farmer’s and Craft Market Pack up the family and dog, take a sturdy basket and arrive early at Lot 457, MR551, Shongweni. The market takes place from 6am– 10:30am every Saturday. Go to shongwenimarket.co.za for more details.

in the next issue of dec/jan

focuses on

“happy holidays”

“back to school” look out for our bumper back to school resource healthy festive recipes for the holiday season safe beauty treatments for pregnant women summer potty training tips & guide to choosing the right nappy focus on sun safety & skin cancer

on street 23 November To advertise call: (031) 209 2200 or email: dbnsales@ childmag.co.za Booking deadline: 7 November Material deadline: 10 November magazine durban

November 2016

ﬁnishing touch

watch that word children will repeat what they overhear, so be careful with those one-liner gems you feel like uttering when the opportunity arises, warns aNÉl leWIS. Phone a friend. you can even have wine.” clearly, he’s heard me bewailing my lack of downtime time with the girls somewhere along the line. conor has also been paying close attention to lessons about water conservation at school. Recently a peaceful winelands lunch with another family was punctuated by shrill shrieks as conor burst out of the bathroom with his pants at his knees. i panicked, thinking he had been stung by a wasp. But no, once i was able to make out what he was saying between sobs, I heard that someone had (shock, horror) left the tap running. “The water is being wasted, mom,” he wailed. Well, at least we can add nature conservation to his list of future jobs (outranked only marginally by train driver). The problem is, however, that this water-wise extremism makes bath time rather difficult. Poor erin has to soap up in mere centimetres of water as conor literally counts the number of minutes the tap has been running. i realised that erin, now almost six, had been listening intently to our conversations when she berated me loudly in a clothing store for “spending too much money before

Erin, Anél and Conor

payday”. clearly household budget discussions will have to be reserved for post-bedtime. But despite the odd red face when my financial status is shared in public, or the bemused stares of restaurant patrons as my son stands guard in the bathroom to monitor water usage, there are some special moments to cherish when your children surprise you with expressions they may have overheard elsewhere. i was at home recovering from flu a few days ago when erin came to me and said: “mom, you’re so busy taking care of us that you have forgotten to take care of you.” Who needs money for jam when your children come up with these priceless gems? Anél has started choosing her words very carefully, just in case a few choice expressions get repeated at inopportune moments, and she can’t blame it on water shortages or budget constraint.

family marketplace

November 2016

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: SUSie leBlONd PHOTOGRAPHy

oney for jam, mom. money for jam.” i looked at conor, aged four, with big eyes. Where on earth had he picked up this expression? did i need to be alarmed that he was already looking for ways to make an extra Rand or two? But then i realised that he has started repeating what he’s overheard – and many times they’re permutations of phrases i may have shouted at him and his sister when angry or in a rush. Nothing beats having your son shout “tough takkie” at you, as you’re trying to get him off the coin-operated racing car in a packed shopping mall at month-end. Or, having erin tell me that “exercise is good for you, mom. So, when i ask you to fetch me juice from the kitchen i am actually helping you stay fit.” No doubt a throwback to my reminder a few weeks prior that she needed to get up off the couch and fetch her own juice. When i visited my mother for supper, conor asked if i would be “going somewhere fun” and leaving them there for a few hours. When i said no, i would also be staying, he insisted that i should take some time for myself. “you like coffee, hey mom? So go and have fun with someone.

play with your food

book extract

A selection of imaginative

recipes from the new book Fun Foods: Healthy Meals for Kids by SAM SCARBOROUGH. sandwich pictures

car rolls

“Little fishes eat their dishes”… Get creative with this underwater fish scene. Make the first picture yourself; the kids are sure to want to make and eat more little fishies and bubbles. If you use a brown paper background, they can draw other fish, and sharks too. Brown paper placemats are brilliant for creative children. Save this idea for lunch when they are home for the holidays.

Is it a roll or a Rolls Royce? Zoot up a small bread roll by adding wheels and funny drivers. For younger children, one roll will suffice, but older ones might eat more, so we’ve given two ways to make up the rolls.

ingredients ✻ ✻ sliced wholewheat, brown and/or white bread ✻✻ ham slices

✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻

ingredients ✻✻ cocktail bread rolls ✻✻ butter ✻✻ your choice of fillings (ham, cheese, tuna mayo, etc.)

cheese slices cucumber or green apple parsley or coriander small red or green grapes

method Use a fish shaped cookie cutter or a sharp knife to make fish shapes from the bread. Lay the shapes on a piece of brown paper, or on a suitable tray or platter. Cut the ham, cheese, cucumber or apple to depict the gills and scales. (You can also use mayonnaise or any other suitable spread to decorate the fish.) Add pieces of cucumber or apple and cheese for the eyes. Decorate the scene with “seaweed” made from parsley or coriander leaves, and add bubble trails with a line of small grapes.

1 2

tuna boats Sail away in a cucumber boat filled with tangy tuna mayo. ingredients ✻✻ small cucumbers ✻✻ tuna mayonnaise (homemade or bought)

you need: wooden or bamboo skewers method

1 2 3

Slice the cucumber in half lengthways and divide each half in two. (This will make four boats, so adjust the quantities as required.) Cut a thin slice off one side, to create a flat base, and cut a thin slice off the top of each cucumber half, to use for the sail. Use a spoon to remove the pips and hollow out some of the flesh, for the boat. Fill the hollow with tuna mayo. Secure the thin slice of cucumber to the skewer, for the sail, curving it to look as if it is billowing in the wind. Press the end of the skewer into the centre of the cucumber boat. Cut a triangle of yellow pepper and secure it to the top of the skewer, for the flag.

Use fruit to create funny faces. Serve these as soon as you make them, otherwise the banana will start to discolour.

✻✻

blueberries pumpkin seeds or seedless raisins banana

method Peel the naartjie and divide the segments in half. Place one half flat-side down on the plate.

magazine durban

2 3 4

method Cut the roll in half, butter both halves and fill with your choice of filling. To make the wheels, place half a cherry tomato in the middle of a cucumber slice and insert a cocktail stick through the centre. Use the cocktail stick to secure the wheel to the side of the roll. Make four wheels. For one of the rolls, peel the hard-boiled egg, halve it and position the egg, yolk-side down, on top of the roll, to resemble the “driver”. Secure the egg with a cocktail stick, leaving it sticking out of the egg. To the cocktail stick, add a small circle of cucumber for a bowler hat, and a sliver of cucumber or cheese for a feather, pressing them down gently to secure. Add small circles of cucumber for the eyes. For the other roll, make a face with a strip of cheese and add pieces of carrot stick for the hair and eyes. Use a cocktail stick to fix half a cherry tomato to the front of the roll, for a head lamp.

2 3

✻✻ wedge of yellow pepper ✻✻ lemon wedges, for serving

fruit faces

✻✻ ✻✻

cucumber slices cherry tomatoes, halved hard-boiled egg cheese carrot sticks

you need: cocktail sticks, to secure the ingredients (cut or break them, as necessary)

45 ingredients ✻✻ naartjie ✻✻ strawberries ✻✻ sweetmelon (spanspek) ✻✻ dried banana chips

✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻

Peel the banana and cut a thin slice off the back so it rests on the plate without falling over. Cut a mouth in the banana and set in place. Scoop small balls of melon and position them for the ears. Add banana chips and pumpkin seeds or seedless raisins for the eyes. Add blueberry “hair” and half a strawberry or a melon ball for the nose.

45 6

tip Remind children to remove any cocktail sticks before they start eating.

more about the book The aim is to put fun back into feeding children. Filled with 60 practical, easyto-make recipes, the book aims to get parents and children involved in the preparation of meals, while promoting a healthy approach to eating. The book Fun Foods: Healthy Meals for Kids, by Samantha Scarborough, is published by Struik Lifestyle (R170).

November 2016