Child magazine | DBN October 2016

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

pregnant?

top tips

that no one else will give you a doting dad’s take on

holidaying with

baby’s first

tiny tots

100 days

when it’s all about

planes & trains

dealing with

plus 3D special

difference

thrown off course does your child need therapy? when mainstream isn’t the best fit, there is a school that’s right!

prep-school focus

exam de-stress

for children, parents and (often forgotten) teachers

www.childmag.co.za

October 2016

free

health

education

entertainment

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

It’s a complex thing “dealing with difference”, especially in a country like ours.

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Lucille Kemp

Art Designers Mark Vincer • studio@childmag.co.za Candice Acheson • studio1@childmag.co.za Julian Mc Namara • studio1@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Lisa Waterloo • dbnsales@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

With a history of prejudice and inequality, the word “diversity” has become an ugly one. Conversations, debates and demonstrations around racism and school policies are necessary, and must be responded to constructively. Our children must be heard and then through empathetic engagement, lead to make sense of what lies at the heart of this darkness. For the past 12 years, Child magazine has actively explored areas of difference in an attempt to familiarise ourselves, and our readers, with the challenges many parents and children face. Our job is to provide research, start conversations and, if not always, offer solutions, connect our community of readers with educational bodies, professionals and support groups ideally placed to help.

This month we focus predominantly on finding the right path for your child, at home and at school, especially when things get a little bumpy. Many mainstream schools offer an inclusive approach to education, but sometimes, your child may need

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a little more, or as so many parents who write to me describe, “my child is falling between the cracks…” We understand and hope that this month you will use our resource “primary issues” (page 22) to explore the learning options available for children who find themselves outside of the educational mainstream.

On the home front, we look at ways to manage the stress exam time brings (page 13), and what better way than to create an emotional connection with your child (page 10). It could be more enriching (and cheaper) than therapy, and certainly a good place to start.

Enjoy our dealing with difference issue.

Lisa Mc Namara Publisher

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contents

10 3 a note from lisa 5 over to you readers respond

features 13 evaluating exams Glynis Horning finds diverse reactions from educators on the importance of exams

16 up market we need to ensure that our children are adequately skilled for the job market. By Tamlyn Vincent

18 on a plane and a train in durban Anél Lewis takes her family to explore this KZN city, and hopes to take her son on an epic steamtrain ride

27 choosing health Ian Craig and Rachel Jesson offer a selection of recipes from their book Wholesome Nutrition for You

health

emotional connection

8 best for baby – scoring your first 100 those first few weeks of your new baby’s life can be wonderful, but also challenging, writes Nick Dall

10 dealing with difference – emotional connection Lucille Kemp looks at the importance of face-time with your children to possibly avoid the necessity of therapy

20 a good read for the whole family 22 resource – primary issues: find the right school for your child here’s a list of early intervention centres and special needs schools.

Compiled by Tamlyn Vincent

23 what’s on in october 25 in the next issue 26 finishing touch Anél Lewis had no

12 october health focus Tamlyn Vincent lists important health awareness days to inspire you to take action

regulars

idea her daughter’s first solo walk through the school gates would be so emotional

classified ads

6 pregnancy news – the stork is coming Marina Zietsman speaks to new parents about valuable lessons learnt from the birth of their baby

25 it’s party time 26 family marketplace

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October 2016

Cape Town

Durban

Joburg

Pretoria

Megan Hancock Photography meganhancockphotography.co.za

Photo Paige photopaige.co.za

Antoinette Photography antoinettephotography.co.za

Shutterstock shutterstock.com

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PHOTOGRAPH: sarahjanephotography.co.za

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

over to you child magazine and my family I’ve been going through the August 2016 issue, and as always found something that applies to my little family. In response to “sport, no thank you”: My son is just six years old, and while he has excellent ball skills both with kicking and throwing, he is not a sportsman by any standards. Most sports require a competitiveness that just isn’t in him. I’m so grateful that neither my husband nor myself are particularly sporty, so a “participation” trophy is all we need. In fact, as the article mentions, my son is an extremely artistic child and can spend ages drawing elaborate scenes, from dragons and dinosaurs, to fire trucks and rockets.

We hope to continue embracing his differences and nurture his talents.

And in response to “should we scrap homework?”: So many valid points were made in the article, including the mom’s statement regarding the lack of guidelines, as well as the inconsistency in the volume of homework.

My son, in Grade 1, comes home with a reasonable amount of homework, but I sometimes struggle with the concepts – especially if it’s abstract math. How do you explain a word without using that word? The article also Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine

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letters

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

highlighted the divide homework creates when parents aren’t equipped to assist with tasks. Personally, I feel homework has advantages, especially to keep parents involved with their child’s development and capabilities.

Yash

viva the grey brigade Thanks for the help you give to the grey brigade who are increasingly having to be parents again to young children, doing the school run and afternoon care, as I am. Fifty-eight years ago when I was six, life was very different for children, and now at age 64, I’m having to relearn, so your magazine is a real help.

Marion

is usually a struggle to feed babies with this condition, Eliana let’s nothing stand in her way and loves food, even before her palate repair. She is the most tenacious little girl with the most amazing spirit for life. She has reached all learning and developmental milestones with such ease and has never let anything stop her. This little angel has been her parents’ biggest blessing yet.

Paige Louw, photographer

She’s her parents’ biggest blessing yet.

our cover star Eliana Grace (our cover star this month, right) is just over a year old and was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. This is one of the most common birth defects in the world and yet so little is published and shared about the condition. She has had her lip repaired at four months old and her palate was repaired at 11 months (three weeks before this shoot was done). Although it

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The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

October 2016

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pregnancy news

the stork is coming MARINA ZIETSMAN speaks to new parents about what they wish they knew when their baby was born and what they won’t forget next time.

medical surprises Medical aids are not cheap, and neither are hospital costs. Parents-to-be must make sure they’re aware of any hidden expenses before doing the emergency run to the hospital.

“Find out if your medical aid covers circumcision,” says first-time mom Leigh, from Cape Town. Leigh and her husband assumed the procedure would be automatically covered by their medical aid. But, most medical aids see circumcision as a cosmetic procedure and thus unnecessary, and will not cover the costs. Leigh and her husband had to pay cash. It is a contentious issue, though. The law states that with parental consent the procedure is allowed if done for medical or religious reasons. The Children’s Act of 2010, however, says it’s a violation of children’s rights, as children under 16 cannot give consent for such an operation.

Hospital costs are also never black and white. “Invest in gap medical cover,” says new dad Mark, also from Cape Town. “Without gap cover, we would have been at least R10 000 out of pocket.” Costs for gap medical cover vary between medical aids, but you can pay from as little as R80 per month to as much as R500. Mark says people should also really understand their medical aid. “Your medical aid could indicate they cover 100% [which is 100% of the scheme tariff], but the doctor might charge 400%, and you are responsible for the ‘short fall’.” Medical aids usually cover 2–5% more of the tariffs as recommended by the National Health Reference Price List. If your doctor, anaesthetist or obstetrician asks 300% or more (as up to 90% of them do), you must negotiate a discount, or pay the difference.

Part of understanding your medical aid, is to read the fine print. Make doubly sure with your medical aid you are covered for the delivery. Most medical aid schemes impose a waiting period on new members and their dependants when they join.

Generally this waiting period depends on how long you’ve been part of another scheme or not part of a scheme at all. The waiting period could be as little as three months, but for pregnancy most medical aids expect you to be a member for at least 12 months before you can claim for pregnancy- and birth-related costs. There are pregnancy hospital plans available, but they also don’t necessarily cover the birth or other hospital costs if you’ve joined while pregnant.

Also make sure your new-born baby is covered by your medical aid. “Our medical aid automatically covered our baby at birth, but only for the month he was born in, regardless of the day,” says Leigh. “If he was born 2 July, he would be covered until 31 July. If he was born 30 July, the automatic cover also expired 31 July.” After this expiry date, their son had to be registered as an independent member. But you have to inform your medical aid of the birth, and find out what the window period is in which your baby is automatically covered, before he has to be registered as an independent member.

Hidden costs, though, are not the only glitch you might have to look out for. “Be specific and inform hospital staff about your preferences for feeding your baby,” says Ellen, mom to one-year-old Bree. “If you don’t want the hospital to give your baby formula, insist that under no circumstances should this be allowed without your consent.”

Ellen was exhausted from giving birth and rested, when Bree was taken for clean-up and routine medical tests. “When they returned with her, Bree spat up, and I enquired if they’d fed her. Some know-it-all nurse confirmed they did give her formula supplementation as they felt it was the right thing to do. I was horrified.”

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ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

Without gap cover, we would have been at least R10 000 out of pocket.

money is too tight Okay, so you’ve budgeted for all the gadgets, medical extras and other mainstream expenses, yet, you keep on having to flash your cash. The fact is, your grocery needs will change soon enough – pre-sliced veggies, organic food – and convenience will become a necessity. “Because time is so valuable, convenient shopping will take preference to budget shopping. Make sure you have liquid cash for those unexpected expenses,” says Mark.

“Also understand how your UIF payment works,” says Leigh. “I used an agent and they made sure I applied on time. I found that many moms don’t realise there is a waiting period involved.”

just baby and me You and your partner had an exhilarating, yet exhausting, few days together at home with your newborn. But eventually your partner has to get back to work and you’re flying solo.

Leigh says you have to prepare for that first spell alone with your baby. “I was born to be a mom, and it all comes so naturally to me, but being alone with Jack, I suddenly felt very alone.” Leigh says it wasn’t easy at first, but she had to drag herself out of the house. “I felt better just by getting out of the house, and having much-needed contact with other adults. Seeing the world is still ‘turning’ lifted my spirits.”

Gale, a single mom to Alyson, says, “I had family around, but eventually life goes on, they went back to work, and I started to panic. I was ‘on call’ – alone. I felt out of my depth. Then I did something I never thought I’d do: I joined a new-mommy club. It’s been a life-saver.”

Ellen adds, “Everybody has an opinion on raising a newborn, which can be annoying, but I found that during those first lonely days, asking questions, sharing info, and communicating, was a huge help. In the end, you trust your instincts and discard unwanted advice, but at least you’ve connected to the world.”

gadgets and gears

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Co-sleeper – This is a cot that fits next to your bed, with an open side. You and your baby won’t share a bed, but it helps to maximise the breastfeeding

and soothing benefits because of the close proximity, and minimise the increased risk of suffocation and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (Sids) that’s associated with actual bed sharing.

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Nappy buddy – A nappy changing kit includes a changing pad, and it has room for everything else you’ll need, such as nappies and baby wipes to change

your baby’s nappy anywhere. “Some even have storage pockets for your keys and phone, which has made my life so much easier,” says new Joburg mom Isabel.

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Car seat – Your baby should be strapped into a car seat the moment you leave the hospital. “And make sure it’s installed correctly,” says Leigh. “We

drove around with Jack for five months thinking the car seat was installed properly, until someone pointed out that it was indeed not correct.”

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Humidifier or dehumidifier – Make sure your baby’s room is not too warm and too dry. Babies sleep better with a cooler, moist environment

without feeling chilly. Depending on your home and environment, invest in either a humidifier or dehumidifier to make sure your baby’s sleeping space is comfortable and healthy from the start.

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best for baby

scoring your f irst 100 The birth of a baby is the most wonderful thing that can happen to you.

But it’s also one of the biggest physical and emotional challenges you’ll ever face.

n my experience, the fun begins when you bring your bundle of joy home from the hospital. In their first few days out of the womb, babies tend to spend most of their time sleeping. And even if yours doesn’t, dealing with a niggly newborn is a lot easier when you have an entire ward of doctors, nurses, cleaners and caterers at your disposal.

Once you’re back home, the gravity of the situation sets in. You’re on your own with a helpless infant whose only reflexes are sucking, swallowing and breathing.

Everything else has to be done by you, 24-7. No amount of reading and research can prepare you for this exam, even if you’re writing it for the second or third time. Despite what the cooing aunties you meet in Clicks may tell you, there is no such thing as an easy baby. The first 100 days will be tough, but they will also introduce you to a brand of love that cannot be beaten.

what’s normal?

In the early days, a baby’s sole task is to sleep and eat, but most babies have trouble doing one or both of these things at some point. “The most important thing to remember,” explains Cape Town paediatrician Dr Mandy Meyer, “is that every baby is different, so it’s very difficult to define ‘normal’ behaviour.”

doctor’s orders Here are three golden rules from Dr Mandy Meyer.

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October 2016

Meyer emphasises the importance of regular check-ups at a clinic, not least for the opportunity these afford mothers to talk about their concerns with someone who understands. “Of course there will be difficult times,” she explains, “but if your baby is sleeping, eating and growing then you deserve a huge pat on the back.”

“By the time your baby is six weeks old, he or she should be smiling, staring at bright lights and faces, and be startled by sound. At three months, your baby should be cooing, chuckling, reaching for things and displaying head control.”

sing the blues There can be no underestimating the enormous emotional and physical impact the birth of a baby has on a mother. Someone who knows this better than most is Tamara Zanella, a counselling psychologist based in Bryanston. “Up to 85% of mothers suffer from the baby blues, a period characterised by moodiness, weeping and irritability, which should clear up when your baby is about two weeks old. If symptoms persist much longer than this, then it’s probably postnatal depression (PND) – a condition that affects 10–15% of mothers.”

“Sleep deprivation is one of the biggest things for any new parent,” explains Zanella.

“It affects mood, appetite and energy levels, and if left unchecked, can easily spiral out

of control. A new parent without any history of anxiety or depression still needs to get rest.” This is why Zanella encourages new moms to make use of any adult help that is available, and to push aside the belief that others – especially dads – won’t be able to look after your baby properly.

But, Zanella continues, “Emotional support is just as important as practical help. People have unrealistic expectations of motherhood and the pressure to be ‘the perfect mom’ makes asking for help very difficult. What we know from research is that just having some support alleviates a lot of the stress, even in patients with PND. It doesn’t have to be professional support either, just talking to another mother who’s been through the same kind of thing can work wonders.”

the baby while mom showers, doing the laundry, or making sure the fridge is wellstocked, the first 100 days will show you just how simple it can be to demonstrate your love.

I would also strongly recommend establishing some kind of routine that involves you spending alone time with the baby. With my first daughter it was walking the dogs, by the time number two came along, I was confident enough to take ownership of bath time.

Which brings me to my next point: Don’t be shy. Only Mom can breastfeed, but there’s nothing stopping Dad from changing nappies, cleaning the umbilical cord, or cutting fingernails and doing some or all of these things, which will help you to connect with Junior.

spare wheel?

light at the end of the tunnel

As Dad, it’s entirely normal to feel a bit left out of the special bond that develops between the mom and baby. There’s not much you can do to change this. Guys can’t breastfeed and in South Africa most men only get a few days’ paternity leave, so there will be plenty of opportunity for mom and baby to bond.

But, fret not. There are loads of times – like the middle of the night, and at 5:05am on a Sunday morning – when you will be able to lend a hand. Whether it’s holding

As the haze lifts, and baby gets older, things will definitely start to get better. You’ll establish some sort of routine, which hopefully involves sleeping when it’s dark, and all three of you will get a much clearer idea of your role in your new life.

Besides, in the months and years ahead there’ll be many times when you wish you could have that cuddly, dependent and adoring newborn back, so take my advice and do your best to enjoy it while it lasts…

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schedules on yourself – unless your baby

infant death syndrome), a baby should

by a high temperature, too much vomiting,

is not gaining weight.

sleep on its back.

or a change in bowel function.

Eat When it comes to feeding, breast is most definitely best. Feed

on demand rather than imposing strict

Sleep Swaddling your baby is good, as it mimics the conditions in the

womb. To reduce the risks of Sids (sudden

Cry All babies cry, but you should seek medical attention if the crying is

excessive, out of character or accompanied

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PHOTOGRAPHS: MARK VINCER

i

Seasoned dad NICK DALL gives his tips on navigating the haze.

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dealing with difference

t i o o n m a e

on

n e n c o t c i l

It may not be easy to achieve, but the solution is simple – enjoying a little face-time with your child every day may, according to a child psychologist, save you thousands in therapy.

f

By LUCILLE KEMP

act, one of life’s biggest challenges is taking care of another human life – but keeping them clothed and in school is one thing; ensuring that they are well-adjusted and emotionally stable, during it all, is far trickier. A child’s life is a pretty intense series of lessons, which all parents hope will foster positive growth and sound personal direction to build solid character. But, in the growing years, this is a gradual journey that can sometimes be thrown off course, revealing itself, perhaps, in a personality change, a drop in school marks, a change in friends... and you can’t be sure if it’s thanks to growing pains or something irregular and self-destructive.

So, I want to learn a little more about what today’s children are really struggling with in order to gain some insight into where they need us the most.

Children feel upset, sad, alone, down and jealous, just as adults do, but don’t have all the cognitive abilities to express these appropriately.

According to Cape Town-based clinical psychologist Rafiq Lockhat of the Psychological Society of South Africa, “Parents are more aware and informed than ever before, and they don’t take chances, so more and more children are attending therapy these days,” which is not a bad thing because problems are being addressed and families are getting the help they need. Unfortunately, this growing need for therapy is also because parents simply don’t have time to deal with obstacles themselves. “I get it, I’m a working parent too,” but Lockhat is finding that this shortage of quality connection between child and parent is resulting in worrying and misguided, attention-seeking behaviour. “I am dealing with body image obsession, especially thinness, in eight and nine year olds, cutting behaviour in older children, which is not restricted to those with borderline personality disorder, and suicide attempts that are often nothing more than copy-cat, statement-making behaviour – when Zayn from One Direction left the band, teens cut their wrists in protest. It is also disturbingly, and successfully, being used against parents as a weapon for manipulation.”

When suicidal behaviour is accompanied by tearfulness, parents should indeed worry and take action, says Lockhat. When it is accompanied by tantrums and the

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PHOTOGRAPH: sarahjanephotography.co.za

big and strong in all respects

threat repeatedly crops up when your child is not getting their way, the answer is to not give in and buy those R1 000 sneakers. “I see many guilt-riddled single parents that are particularly vulnerable to these tactics,” says Lockhat.

Lockhat is also seeing children with poor discipline and concentration skills, symptoms that many parents are mistaking for ADHD. “Many children simply haven’t been trained to focus.”

Then there is the fair share of scholastic problems to be dealt with. “Many children are not doing well at school. Their reading ability is not up to scratch for instance, which is essential for other skills such as maths,” states Lockhat.

Children are also coming to him with a variety of emotional problems caused mainly by divorce and bullying, and many children are presenting with depression symptoms.

Lockhat also deals with a high instance of child-on-child abuse, not only because the child has been abused, but due to, simply, unchecked internet usage. “Porn pops up on the most innocuous websites, and sexually explicit music videos are front of mind and easily accessed. Children are being left to their own devices too often, and they’re observing a huge amount of sexual content, online, which is causing curiosity.”

the parent before the professional The resounding message from the professionals seems to be that there is no substitute for your time – if you’re connecting with your child regularly you’ll be more aware of how they’re coping with life.

Set the example Nelspruit-based educational psychologist Ria Scholtz says, “Understand that children feel upset, sad, alone, down, jealous and more, just as adults do. The big difference is they do not have all the cognitive abilities to express these appropriately.”

They are only learning these now while growing up, which is why it’s important that you understand the concept of healthy expression, so that you can demonstrate it to your child. If your children are privy to your road rage or you are snapping at their dad because you are “stressed at work”, you are modelling an inappropriate expression of feelings, in the same way as your child hitting a friend, when angry, is.

Make time for special time As busy as your schedule is, time must be made – not for chores, homework or even to watch a movie, but for engaged fun together – as little as 10 minutes a day is good enough, says Lockhat. Talk to your child and, more importantly, listen.

Read up or talk to someone Knowledge is your best weapon – if there seems to be a problem, talk to your child’s teacher to ascertain what they observe. If there is a specific diagnosis (such as autism or ADHD), gain the knowledge and then support, says Scholtz.

Ask questions relating to the behaviour Was there a change in your routine? What is different in your home, family and life? Was there any trauma? “Often I will get answers such as ‘granny died, we moved, he started at a new school, we were robbed, we are fighting in the house, dad is now working far away, I have started working late, we have a new nanny’,” says Scholtz.

Keep your emotional tank topped-up A depleted mom and dad can offer nothing.

Implement strategies These include behaviour charts, rewards and routine.

Build on your child’s strengths Find the positive aspects of your child’s personality or behaviour and celebrate that.

Wait and see If there is no change in troubling moods or behaviour, take more action.

“Look out for sudden, definite change or extremes in your child’s behaviour or emotions that are worrisome, intense, out of the ordinary, and seem to stay longer than just a week or two, and for which you have no explanation,” says Scholtz. If there is an improvement, recognise that you have helped your child effectively through a difficult situation and likely equipped her with a life-skill or two in the process.

what professional help looks like ✻✻ Psychotherapy – A child will learn about his problems, emotions, thoughts and behaviours, and will be taught how to respond to challenging situations.

Examples include talk therapy, play therapy, sand-tray therapy, as well as using books, stories, games and other techniques the therapist may be trained in, such as BWRT, EMDR or TRE. ✻✻ Medication – Your child’s doctor might recommend that they take certain medications. Seek a second or third opinion if you feel the need. Upon doing thorough research you’ll know best practice for your child. “I was hesitant to try Ritalin with all the negative publicity, but it really helped my child to focus. I needed him to learn, and had to try it,” says Cape Town mom *Barbara whose son was diagnosed with ADHD. ✻✻ Parental guidance – The therapist can help you with guidance, information and plans to deal with routine and behaviour. “Play therapy was amazing. *Greg loved it. We not only worked through issues of cooperation and emotions, but it gave me effective disciplining tools and helped me to understand and not get frustrated with him all the time,” says Barbara.

Information compliments of Dr Ria Scholtz *Names have been changed

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health

october

health focus TAMLYN VINCENT highlights the health and awareness days in October to help us remember, learn about and take action to assist those in need.

October

Breast Cancer Awareness Month Breast cancer is one of the most common cancers among women in South Africa. This month focuses on awareness of this disease and encourages women to do regular selfexaminations and mammograms, which can lead to early detection and a better prognosis.

The Cancer Association of South Africa (Cansa): 0800 226 622 or cansa.org.za Pink Drive: They have a selection of pink ribbon and other merchandise online. Contact: 021 418 0548 or pinkdrive.co.za Reach 4 Recovery: 079 462 3973 or reach4recovery.org.za

Eye Care Awareness Month Eye health, particularly the prevention of avoidable blindness, is highlighted during Eye Care Awareness month and on World Sight Day, 13 October.

South African National Council for the Blind (SANCB): 012 452 3811 or sancb.org.za Orbis: 021 447 7135 or orbis.org.za Retina South Africa: 086 059 5959 or retinasa.org.za

Mental Health Awareness Month

15 October

Awareness around mental health improves education, while helping to decrease the stigma and discrimination associated with mental health issues.

South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag): 011 234 4837, suicidal emergency contact: 0800 567 567 or sadag.org

This day promotes the idea that washing hands with soap is an easy, affordable way to effectively prevent the spreading of disease. The theme this year is “Make Handwashing a Habit!”

Global Handwashing: globalhandwashing.org

Global Handwashing Day

3–7 October

OT Week This week showcases how occupational therapy can help people of all ages in their day-to-day lives. The International Occupational Therapy Day, 27 October, promotes the importance of OT. Occupational Therapy Association of South Africa (Otasa): 012 362 5457 or otasa.org.za

8 October

World Hospice and Palliative Care Day Today is about celebrating and supporting hospice and palliative care. The theme for 2016 is “Living and dying in pain: It doesn’t have to happen”.

Hospice Palliative Care Association of South Africa (HPCA): Purchase a R20 temporary butterfly tattoo for the Social Butterfly campaign, available at various Primi Piatti outlets and from HPCA. Contact: 021 531 0277 or hpca.co.za

The theme for 2016 is “Living and dying in pain: It doesn’t have to happen.”

15 October

National Foetal Alcohol Syndrome Day Awareness around the risk of drinking during pregnancy can help in preventing Foetal Alcohol Syndrome Disease.

While this condition is preventable, it can’t be cured.

Foundation for Alcohol Related Research (Farr): 021 686 2646 or farrsa.org.za South African National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (Sanca): 086 147 2622 or sancanational.info 20 October

National Down Syndrome Day

9–15 October

National Nutrition Week The emphasis this week is on healthy eating to improve long-term health of South Africans, through nutrition and a healthy lifestyle.

The Nutrition Society of South Africa (NSSA): nssa@mweb.co.za or nutritionsociety.co.za

Geared towards creating awareness around Down syndrome, this day is about informing people of the condition, and encouraging acceptance and inclusivity.

Down Syndrome South Africa (DSSA): 0861 369 672 or downsyndrome.org.za

Global ADHD Awareness Month

15–19 October

International Dyslexia Awareness Month

National Obesity Week

October highlights the difficulties that come with dyslexia, from children being stereotyped to facing challenges in the classroom.

The Red Apple Dyslexia Association (RADA): They have programmes and activities to help children. Contact: 016 454 0281 or dyslexiasa.org

Being overweight or obese puts you at risk of chronic disease. This week creates awareness around these risks and encourages healthier living.

Overeaters Anonymous: 011 640 2901 or oa.org.za The Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa: 021 422 1586 or heartfoundation.co.za

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October 2016

PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

Creating awareness around ADHD helps to educate people and encourages the development of resources as people work towards finding solutions.

Adhasa: 011 888 7655 or adhasa.co.za ADHD and Dyslexia support group: Facebook: Familyzone Learning

magazine durban

education

evaluating

exams The stress of exams can affect not only children, but also parents and teachers. Are exams worth it? And what can you do to help your child?

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

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By GLYNIS HORNING

sk most adults to share their worst nightmare, and who won’t cite being back at school, trapped in a tricky exam? The stress of exams can be considerable, as a child’s performance is measured against their expectations and those of parents and teachers, plus the performance of their peers. Many feel their self-worth and future success is at stake.

The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) reports a significant spike in pupils calling its helpline over exam periods, and with suicide now accounting for 9,5% of teenage deaths, the South African College of Applied Psychology notes “there is reason for concern”, that the exam results period may aggravate symptoms for those already depressed.

In most South African schools, children start writing exams in Grade 4, and according to Sadag, the suicide rate for children aged 10 to 14 years old has more than doubled over the past 15 years. Clearly more than exams is at play where suicide is concerned, but do young children need the added stress in their lives? In short, are exams worth it?

magazine durban

October 2016

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education

no Exams are a waste of time say Yvonne Sullivan and Kim Day, flatly. Both are Grade 6 teachers at award-winning Durban government school Manor Gardens Primary, which has frequently taken first place and the overall Top School Achiever Award in the Horizon Maths Competition, and has won the national Kids’ Lit Quiz twice, and placed first in the world.

“Exams are no longer valid in the 21st century,” says Sullivan. “They reduce everything to their smallest part and capture only a miniscule part of the whole person – a meaningless score. They snuff out creativity as children’s thinking is channelled into providing answers the teacher wants, rather than engaging children in open-ended debate that would generate innovative ideas. Valuable learning time is wasted revising for and writing exams, and teacher time is wasted marking and entering these meaningless symbols on to mark schedules.”

Day adds: “With an exam-based system, learning is reduced to teaching for tests rather than learning for life. The joy of learning and the inherent curiosity of the child is suppressed. What is the point of memorising and regurgitating content when today one can access information so easily online? Learning must involve critical thinking skills and problem-solving. Time spent on exams would be better spent guiding children on how to access relevant information and evaluate sources. We must remove the shackles of testing from our education system.”

Exams are no longer valid in the 21st century.

– Yvonne Sullivan, teacher

yes And yet others still support exams. “Without them, what reason would there be for children to ensure they know and understand work?” says Dr Deon van Wyk, child psychologist and author of Study Without Stress. “They need to measure themselves and be measured on whether they can do the work – it’s done in swimming and tennis, why not academics?

Exams also allow teachers to see where a child falls short, and if they need to teach more or change how they teach or the pace of their teaching.”

Exams introduce children to different study methods and the skill of actually writing an exam is “an essential skill later in life”, says Diane Berry, head of Rustenberg Girls’ Junior School in Cape Town. “It’s not just about content – exams are set to include creative thinking, understanding, application, deduction, explanation, analysis, comparison, evaluation and comprehension. That said, exams are only part of the whole assessment programme, particularly in the intermediate phase, and must be kept in perspective.”

As long as children are guided and nurtured through the first set of exams in Grade 4, they are fine, Berry says. “As exams become more complicated, children slowly become accustomed to different types of questions and how to answer them.”

maybe…

Many remain in the middle. “Exams are by no means ideal,” says Joburg educational psychologist Marisa Di Terlizzi, director of student affairs at St Stithians College in Joburg.

“Unfortunately, because of the way tertiary education is set up and the nature of society, there has to be some kind of ‘yardstick’, so that we can compare apples with apples.”

And while exams assess content, she says, they also assess skill, such as analysis: “These higher-order skills are important in terms of application of knowledge in tertiary education, and ultimately, the world of work.

“Could they be assessed in another way? Probably, but to do so might require more teachers and access to materials that only some schools have access to. So for now, though far from ideal, an exam based on common criteria is where we are.”

how early Given that exams are a reality for now, when should they begin? “Because exams create anxiety, if students start early, by the time they reach high school they feel more relaxed about them because it has become the norm,” says Di Terlizzi. “They also have time to establish some exam techniques.” But she warns against starting too early. “Children need the opportunity for play and engagement, where they learn naturally and incidentally.

Starting exams in the later years of primary school, with certain subjects, would create a good amount of preparation.”

Research shows Grade 4 is the optimal age, says Van Wyk. “In the past, parents taught children survival skills from a young age and were responsible for testing these.

To teach children to use their brain to maximum potential has become the only survival skill, when certain careers are becoming obsolete and others constantly emerging. Today children are facing a tsunami of knowledge, and need to start training early to handle it and not become anxious – anxiety is the greatest danger.”

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October 2016

magazine durban

how to handle it Stress is part of life, says Van Wyk. Rather than avoid it, assist children to cope with it during exams: Develop a positive attitude to studying and the right study methods from the start “It’s imperative, as the volume and complexity of schoolwork today is light-years from what we had to deal with,” he says. “Ensure they understand the ‘bigger picture’, the logic that connects themes – work learnt parrot-fashion is forgotten when tension rises.”

Watch your emotions “They are highly contagious, so it’s most important parents stay calm and upbeat,” Van Wyk says. “Watch the pitch of your voice, talk slowly and radiate trust and confidence.”

See that they eat well “Great options are tuna, spinach, sweet potatoes, brown rice, avocados, bananas, oranges, almonds and blueberries,” says Di Terlizzi. “Limit caffeine (coffee, energy drinks), as it can adversely affect concentration and interfere with sleep. Similarly, too much sugar can increase tiredness and lower energy and mood when the blood sugar level drops.”

See that they get enough sleep Knowledge is consolidated through neural connections while you sleep, she explains. “If your child is not getting enough sleep, they will struggle to retain information and think clearly. So pulling all-nighters is a no-no.”

See that they get exercise “It’s a great stress-reliever and should not be forfeited during exams,” she says. “It’s the perfect break to clear the brain and get back on track.”

Help set up a place to study A desk, rather than the bed, is best for posture and concentration, she says. It should be equipped with all the stationery they need, snacks and water, and be free from distractions.

Help them plan their time Frequent study breaks are important, Di Terlizzi says.

“Children should get out and active, not engage in screen-watching or reading, which use the same concentration resources.”

Plan a reward Line up something to look forward to, such as meeting up with friends after a tough week, she advises.

Use opportunities provided by the school Find out what academic support is offered and tap into it.

Get help A certain amount of stress is beneficial (eustress), focusing attention and enhancing performance. But if your child gets into an anxiety spiral, provide distractions to help them, says Di Terlizzi. If it persists or depression sets in, get professional help.

1 2 3

4 5 6 7 8 9 10

timeline Two weeks before exams Help your child set up a study timetable to work through sections in manageable bite-sizes; a bit each day. “Feeling on top of things helps keep anxiety in check,” says Di Terlizzi. “Show understanding if your child is acting out because of the pressures,” adds Van Wyk. “Teach them to relax with deep breaths.”

The night before See that your child goes to sleep at a reasonable hour and has some downtime before bed. “Chamomile tea is a good relaxant,” says Di Terlizzi. “A warm bath or shower relaxes tense muscles and aids sleep.”

The morning of the exam Many children rise early to go through their notes one last time. “This is acceptable provided it doesn’t deprive them of too much sleep and they don’t work themselves up,” she says. Give your child a healthy breakfast and get them to school in good time. Rather than comparing notes with peers, it’s best they wait in your car or sit quietly where they can’t be hyped up.” Be calm and cheerful – tell them you know they will do their best.

After exams If they have failed a subject, support is crucial. “Let them know failure is only failure if you don’t learn from the experience. Encourage them to pay attention when exam feedback is given in class, to understand why they failed, says Di Terlizzi.

“Was it due to content knowledge? Did they misread the question, or not pay note to mark allocation?” Remind them they are bigger than an exam: this too shall pass and there is always another opportunity. “If they struggle to process this, a counsellor or psychologist can help them cope with disappointment and limit the effect on their self-esteem, or prevent them acting rashly.” Call Sadag: 0800 21 22 23, sms 31393 or sadag.org.za

magazine durban

October 2016

15

education

up market Ensuring young people are skilled can give them a better chance at finding a job when the time comes. TAMLYN VINCENT looks at what skills they need.

making an impact Employers look at a range of factors when considering a job applicant, says Lingenfelder.

Just look at the requirements on any job advertisement – IT skills, budgeting and organisation skills, ability to work well with others, must be able to meet deadlines... Apart from these, employers are looking for applicants who are well-presented, and in every case, those who can communicate effectively and work well with others. When considering a potential candidate, employers look not only at the qualifications, but also the skills, attributes and knowledge of the whole individual, says Lingenfelder. This means that youth, starting in childhood, need to develop a range of skillsets to make them marketable and by extension, employable.

There are two types of skills that young people can add to their toolset, says Lingenfelder – basic skills and job-specific ones. A Skills for Employment policy brief from ILO says that core skills are key to employability. Some of the basic core skills needed for today’s job market include IT and computer skills, interpersonal ones such as reliability and punctuality, communication skills, time management and self-discipline. Having core work skills means young people are able to learn and adapt, to think creatively, solve problems by themselves and to work well by themselves or with others. Finding a young person who is employable is going to benefit the employer as well – it means a more efficient work force, with faster turnaround times, that is more able to adapt easily and change in more innovative ways to challenges it may encounter.

Being able to communicate well is top of the skillset list. Lingenfelder relates, saying that she has seen many successfully trained, intelligent candidates perform poorly in interviews, as they lack communication and interpersonal skills. She adds that “the interview is an opportunity to communicate your worth as an employee and translate your qualifications into your ability to do a job successfully”. Being able to get this across confidently and professionally is vital. Another important ability is knowing how to balance a professional and personal life. Time management and self-discipline are critical skills that can help young people balance a work-from-home or flexible position, while still delivering exceptional results, says Lingenfelder. Being able to problem-solve, the ILO notes, requires a person to be able to evaluate the situation and arrive at the best solution, which in turn requires an understanding of action and consequence, an important skill for young people embarking on a career or, for that matter, a life of their own.

Technical skills, those required for specific jobs, can also improve employability.

Lingenfelder points out that they give employers an idea of what a potential employee is interested in and how they could develop into certain roles. Short courses are one way to develop technical skillsets, and could cover negotiation skills, money management or even first aid and CPR.

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October 2016

early learning Ensuring youth are marketable and employable isn’t something that happens overnight – children can be introduced to these skills from early on. Communication skills, for instance, can be developed through everyday discussion around the dinner table, says Lingenfelder.

Ask each family member about their day, engage everyone, and build their confidence in speaking from early on. Encourage problem-solving skills by teaching children to ask (and answer) questions for themselves. If they ask you why they have to do sport, get them to research the benefits of exercise. Being self-disciplined and organised is a skill that children can start learning as soon as they start doing homework, projects and tests.

Children are exposed to computers and gadgets from an early age, making them used to rapidly evolving technology, reports ILO. But you can ensure that children are better equipped by introducing them to educational technology and websites, while limiting time spent on games or websites with little or no benefit. One website to try is code.org.

Giving children pocket money, and encouraging them to save towards short-, midand long-term goals teaches them how to manage money. They can budget every month and learn that to save, they need to practise self-discipline. You can even encourage entrepreneurial thinking, getting children to spend some of their money on creating a product or service, and using this to build their savings.

As a life coach, Lingenfelder works with people to conceptualise and practise these life skills, before they need them in real life. Life coaches, she says, can introduce children to these skills and help them practise and develop the skills they will need later in life. But no matter how you choose to introduce these skills to your children, it is important to do so from early on, to ensure that they have the advantage going forward.

Employers look not only at the qualifications, but also the skills, attributes and knowledge of the whole individual.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

y

ou spend your life as a parent making sure your children have a good education.

Countless hours are spent over homework, they’ve been signed up for so many extramurals you’ve lost count, and they’ve gone to the best schools you can afford.

Guess what? There’s a good chance they won’t get a good job straight out of school. Even students leaving university will find it difficult. The International Labour Organization (ILO) estimates that globally, over 13% of youth are unemployed. A recent report from ILO says: “Overall, two in five (42,6%) economically active youth are still either unemployed or working yet living in poverty. In the face of such statistics, it is safe to report it is still not easy to be young in today’s labour market”.

But when young people can’t get a job, they also can’t contribute to society. The longer it takes them to find a job (one in which they will grow), the longer it takes them to become a productive member of that society, which means that the country can’t grow.

Not only because the youth labour force (the economically active youth) isn’t able to make a significant enough contribution, but also because those who can’t find jobs in South Africa go in search of greener pastures in other countries. “School leavers are constantly faced with tougher conditions for entry into the job market,” says Simone Lingenfelder, a life coach based in Joburg. But ensuring they are marketable is key to young adults finding a job. This is where youth skills development comes in.

magazine durban

magazine durban

October 2016

17

getaway

on a plane and a train in durban ANÉL LEWIS and her family head to the KwaZulu-Natal coast for cake

y son, Conor, is obsessed with trains, planes and just about anything that has an engine and makes a noise. This includes lawnmowers, leaf blowers, and, as we discovered on a recent family trip to Durban, the rotating machines that cover suitcases in plastic at the airport. While we thought the flight on an aeroplane would be the highlight, the baggage-covering machine was a winner before we had even checked in at Cape Town International. Conor was transfixed, standing in rapt attention with his hands behind his back as the bag spun around in its plastic cocoon. “It’s almost as cool as a leaf blower, Mom,” he said. Hopefully we would be able to top this experience on our coastal trip.

Airports can be a bit of a parenting gauntlet with their brightly-lit shops filled with expensive fluffy toys and over-priced knick-knacks. So the trick to getting from check-in to the boarding gate without buying three plastic microphones filled with tasteless pink sweets and a penguin keyring, is to keep children entertained by the workings of the airport. We headed straight to the viewing area to see the planes landing and taking off.

Eagle-eyed Erin soon spotted her suitcase being loaded onto an aircraft, and this provided much entertainment as we played “spot your luggage”.

Conor did not seem fussed that the train was actually a scaled-down version of what we had initially promised. He was just thrilled to be on something with an engine that “chuffed” and emitted plumes of steam.

The flight was fairly painless – we made sure the tablets were fully-charged so that the children could play games, and we had colouring-in books and snacks to keep them entertained. Once we had imposed the Treaty of the Orange Plane and agreed that Erin would have the window seat on the way out, and that Conor could have a view for the trip home, we settled down for the flight. Take-off was a breeze – Conor was so thrilled when we lifted off the ground that he shouted, “Yes, good job!”, much to the amusement of everyone around us. But the trip to the plane toilet proved too much for our budding aviator, and Conor almost levitated out of the 1 x 1m cubicle when the vacuum caused by flushing the toilet resulted in a deafening “whoosh”.

We really wanted to treat Conor to a steam train experience while in Durban, and what better place than along the edge of the majestic Valley of a 1000 Hills? The Umgeni Steam Railway runs from Kloof Station to and from Inchanga Station on the last Sunday of each month. Unfortunately, our holiday fell just outside of this period, so we could not experience a trip on one of South Africa’s oldest active railway lines. Desperate to get Conor onto a train of some kind, I turned to Google. A quick search revealed that the Durban Society of Model Engineers offers train rides on the second Sunday of each month.

We headed to Durban North not knowing what to expect. It wasn’t quite the romantic steam train experience that we had planned, but what the site lacked in old-world charm was more than made up for with the passion of the locomotive enthusiasts who drive and maintain the trains. The track has been operational since 1969 and the children rode on a model train that was assembled in the 1970s, probably around the time that I was born. Members of the society take turns on open-day Sundays to drive the model steam train, which seats about 12 passengers. It’s a fully-functional steam train and the driver painstakingly loads coal into the engine’s miniature firebox before each trip. There’s even a rustic station where passengers wait undercover for their ride.

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The train travels along a “folded dogbone” track configuration, through a tunnel and past fields of sugarcane. Conor was enthralled. He did not seem fussed that the train was actually a scaled-down version of what we had initially promised. He was just thrilled to be on something with an engine that “chuffed” and emitted plumes of steam. Conor had about 10 trips while we sipped on instant coffee from the cafe. We noticed quite a few families had brought picnics to enjoy in the play area next to the track. At only R10 a ride, this was an inexpensive, yet thoroughly enjoyable family outing.

The excursion reminded Conor of a prior visit to Durban’s Mini Town. To my jaded adult eye, the mini replicas of Durban’s landmark buildings had seemed a bit tired and in need of a lick of paint. It was a far cry from the magical place I recalled from my first visit to Durban as a six year old more than three decades ago. But Conor and Erin loved the Brobdingnagian sensation of towering above buildings and highways built on a 1:24 scale. And of course, Conor enjoyed the extensive miniature railway network and the airport.

With Conor’s train obsession satiated, we spent a lovely Saturday morning savouring homemade samosas and “milk tart” pancakes at the Litchi Orchard Saturday Market that runs on the second Saturday of each month. The children enjoyed the massive junglegym, located in the garden area. We indulged in some homemade cake to celebrate my birthday, which coincided with the trip. Durban, and specifically Ballito where we stayed, is obviously synonymous with sea and sand. But for some reason, sand art was on offer at most places we visited. At almost every market, restaurant or beachside cafe, you could bet your bunny chow that there would be a sand art table. It cost R20 to R25 per child to make a sand art masterpiece. As this kept them busy for at least half an hour – enough time to enjoy a chilled craft beer or some freshly pressed juice – we were more than happy to shell out for quite a few sand art sessions. The great thing about the Litchi Market was that we could buy sand art kits to take home.

Speaking of sand, obviously Durban’s beaches hold massive appeal for children of all ages. Even in winter, the weather was warm enough for us to spend many happy hours swimming and exploring rock pools. Sand sculptures have become part of the coastal landscape, and the children watched the local artists transform mounds of wet sand into dolphins and sharks. Real animals are also a popular drawcard, and you can choose from spots such as Flag Animal Farm, Crocodile Creek and uShaka Marine World to see these.

We chose to devote one day of our trip to uShaka, which is a bit more pricey and touristy, so that we could spend the rest of the holiday on the beach or exploring Durban’s other attractions. And of course, the children also had the return flight, and the bag-wrapping machine, to look forward to.

sanity tips ✻✻ Pack books, pens and paper to keep children entertained. Make sure the tablets are charged if you are planning to let them play a game or two during the flight. ✻✻ Involve children in the packing and planning of the trip. ✻✻ Give children biltong or dried fruit

(usually related to who’s going to get the window seat). ✻✻ Plan one or two key activities, such as the Umgeni Steam Train or a visit to uShaka, but allow for a flexible schedule. Visit busy spots such as uShaka or the Flag

to chew for take-off and landing to

Animal Farm earlier in the day,

avoid sore ears.

before children get tired. Use

✻✻ Have a “secret weapon” or treat on hand in case there’s a meltdown

the afternoons to unwind on the beach.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com | lcswart / Shutterstock.com | craig lewis

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by the ocean, a train trip (or 10) and plenty of sand art.

when in durban…

Burnedale No. 1 Old Main Rd, Umhlali Contact 032 947 0133 Website burnedale.co.za This welcoming café offers a fencedoff play area and an animal farm for children.

Flag Animal Farm Sheffield Beach Rd, Durban Contact 032 947 2018 Website flaganimalfarm.co.za They are home to over 1 000 animals including reptiles, wolves and alpacas.

Litchi Orchard Seaforth Ave, Salt Rock Contact 032 525 5118 Website litchiorchard.co.za The day market is held on the second Saturday of each month from 9am–1pm.

Umgeni Steam Railway Old Kloof Station, Old Main Rd Contact 087 808 7715 Website umgenisteamrailway.co.za Take a steam train trip on the last Sunday of each month.

Durban Society of Model Engineers 10 Hinton Grove, Virginia, Durban North Contact 031 564 7066 The open day for the public is the second Sunday of the month, normally from 11am–4pm.

Go Wild The Wavehouse, Gateway Contact: 031 514 0500 Website go-wild.co.za They offer various activities for children including a super tube, a flow rider and a toddler zone.

Mini Town 14 Snell Parade Contact: 031 337 7892 View excellent models of some of Durban’s most interesting buildings.

uShaka Marine World 1 King Shaka Ave, Point Website ushakamarineworld.co.za They offer water rides, an oceanarium, dolphin, seal and penguin shows, shopping, beach activities and more.

magazine durban

October 2016

19

a good

books

for toddlers Soon

By Timothy Knapman and Patrick Benson

read

(Published by Walker Books, R136) Raju and his mom set off very early one morning. It’s cold and dark and Raju is tired.

“When can we go home again?” he keeps asking. “Soon”, says Mom. And soon, Raju will see that it is a journey worth taking. An adventure that he will never forget.

for preschoolers The Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

By Bob Hartman and Tim Raglin for toddlers There’s an Owl in my Towel

By Julia Donaldson and Rebecca Cobb

(Published by Lion Children’s Books, R144) Little Sheep is bored of being a sheep.

She wants the excitement of being a wolf. But when her new friend from Wolf School invites her over for dinner, it starts to look like her disguise might not be such a good idea after all. This is a topsyturvy take on a traditional tale.

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R121) Lift the flaps as five animals surprise one baby, and sing the song and do the actions. Before Baby is ready for his bath, he encounters a hare on his chair, a mole in his bowl, a lamb in his pram and an owl in his towel. Finally it’s bed time, and there’s a ted in his bed...

for preschoolers Snail Trails and Other Tales

By Pierre Coetzee, Leighton Jones and Shân Fischer for preschoolers Dudu’s Basket

By Dianne Stewart and Elizabeth Pulles (Published by Jacana Media, R110) When Dudu finishes weaving her first basket, by the light of the plump full moon, her uncle Jojo tells her that her first basket should always be given away. Baskets, woven from locally sourced materials, are widely used and re-used in African society. This is a story about Dudu’s basket and its journey through a number of cultures.

for preschoolers The Lemon Tree

By Katherine Graham and Wendy Paterson (Published by Struik Children, R69) It’s pouring with rain the day that Gogo decides to make pancakes. But she soon discovers she is missing several important ingredients. Helped by her two grandchildren, Sipho and Lungi, Gogo devises a clever plan in which the lemon tree comes to the rescue.

This book, nominated for the prestigious Golden Baobab Prize in 2014, tells a simple story of ubuntu.

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October 2016

(Published by Human and Rousseau, R236) Here are three beautifully illustrated stories to entertain young children while teaching first concepts and developing vocabulary. Herman the snail lives in a vegetable patch and he teaches children about seasons. Poor Mox and Cat are stranded on an island and dream about food every day of the week. And finally a mouse family is having a birthday party.

for early graders Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist and David Copperfield Retold by Marcia Williams (Published by Walker Books, R93 each) English author Charles Dickens created some of literature’s best-loved characters in Oliver Twist and David Copperfield. Now one of the world’s greatest writers is introduced to a new audience through this accessible retelling with lively illustrations. Marcia Williams first introduced a generation of children to the works of Charles Dickens through her masterful comic-strip retellings. Now, she brings Dickens’ beloved characters to a fresh audience with a new series of short novels. magazine durban

for pre-teens and teens The Watcher in the Shadows

By Carlos Ruiz Zafon (Published by Phoenix, R155) An enigmatic toy maker who lives as a recluse in an old mansion, is surrounded by the fantastical beings he has created. An eerie figure that watches from behind the curtains; strange lights that flicker through the mist from an abandoned lighthouse. These are the elements of a mystery that will bind Irene to Ismael during a magical summer in Blue Bay, when her mother becomes housekeeper to the secretive toy maker. This is a page-turning mystery for teens from the age of 12 years old.

for early graders Lulu Bell and the Birthday Unicorn and Lulu Bell and the Fairy Penguin

By Belinda Murrell and Serena Geddes (Published by Struik Children, R61 each) Where there’s Lulu Bell, there’s family, friends, animals and adventure.

In the first book it’s almost time for Lulu’s little sister’s birthday party, but there’s a problem. A pony is running loose and Lulu and her dad, the local vet, have to rescue it. In The Fairy Penguin, it’s a hot day and the Bell family is going for a swim, but when a runaway dog chases a little penguin, Lulu has to leap into action.

for us The Zimzum of Love: A New Way of Understanding Marriage

By Rob and Kristen Bell

for pre-teens and teens How to be good at Maths

By Carol Vorderman (Published by Dorling Kindersley, R189) Step-by-step explanations work with colourful graphics to make understanding maths easy. It covers all the maths needed for seven to 11 year olds. It also offers “try it out” features to help put what you’ve learnt into practice. The book covers numbers, calculation, measurements, geometry, statistics and algebra. The book has not only been written to help your child understand maths, but also to learn to love it.

(Published by William Collins Publishing, R135) Marriage is a partnership of love, and when we form that union we hope we have found something that will last forever. But when friction sets in, staying committed can be difficult. In this book, the authors explore the secret of what makes a happy union, probing the mystery at the heart of the extraordinary emotional connection that binds two people. The book might change how you consider marriage, providing insight that can help all of us create satisfying and sacred unions of our own.

parenting Ultimate Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting Guide

By Sister Lilian (Published by Human and Rousseau, R330) Sister Lilian has extensive experience with pregnancy, birth and parenting. In this guide she addresses the most important pregnancy, birth and parenting issues. She offers a step-by-step guide through each trimester of pregnancy, gives a detailed nutrition and exercise plan, and shows how to cope with skin, health and beauty issues during pregnancy. She also talks about what to do in case of serious illnesses and complications and addresses the father-to-be.

parenting The Collapse of Parenting

By Leonard Sax (Published by Basic Books, R378) Over the past 30 years, a major shift has occurred in American culture: The transfer of authority from parents to children. Activities with same-age peers now commonly displace family activities. Children today often choose what’s for supper; they choose which social media they will engage; they often choose their bedtime and sometimes even their school. In this book, the author shows how these factors, and related influences, have led to children and teenagers being less resilient, less physically fit, and more likely to become anxious or depressed – and far more fragile. magazine durban

for us Super Food: Family Classics

By Jamie Oliver (Published by Michael Joseph, R289) Jamie’s Super Food: Family Classics continues with the popular philosophy behind Jamie’s Everyday Super Food, bringing exciting healthy eating to the heart of the home. Every recipe is tried and tested, has clear and easy-to-understand nutritional information on the page, including the number of veg and fruit portions in each dish, plus there’s a bumper back-section packed with valuable advice on everything from cooking with children and tackling fussy eaters, to good gut health, the importance of fibre, budgeting and of course, getting more of the good stuff into your family’s diet.

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21

resource

primary issues

find the right school for your child These early intervention centres and special needs schools are committed to putting your child’s learning requirements first by ensuring quality education. Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

Bloom Centre They teach and care for children with a variety of diagnoses including Down syndrome, autism, low IQ, non-specified learning difficulties and children not coping in mainstream schools. This private centre has a preprimary and primary class.

Address Eden Village, Salt Rock Contact 032 815 2701, info@bloomcentre. co.za or bloomcentre.co.za Bright Eyes An holistic early intervention centre, with a preschool for visually impaired children.

This private centre also provides specialist intervention, parent and caregiver support and training, and visual and intervention therapies for low vision 0–3 year olds and adapted learning techniques for low vision children 0–5 years old.

Address 135 Bellevue Rd, Musgrave Contact 084 251 7754, carron@brighteyes. co.za or brighteyes.co.za Camelot College This private remedial school accommodates children in Grades 1–12 who require more individual attention than what can be offered in mainstream schooling.

Address Bulwer Rd, Glenwood Contact 031 201 0604 or camelotcollege.co.za Cawood Academy This is a private special needs school catering for a wide scope of children 5–13 years old, ranging from gifted to autistic.

Classes are kept small and children learn at an individual pace.

Address 41A Old Main Rd, Hillcrest Contact 031 765 8288

Charlton Scholars An independent remedial primary school that caters for children who present with specific learning difficulties in reading, writing or mathematics.

Address 24 Marievale Dr, Kloof Contact 031 764 3731 or charltonscholars.co.za Cornerstone Remedial School and Homework Centre This is a private remedial facilitated school for children in Grades R–7 who need extra attention. They also have a homework centre, aftercare and an autistic unit.

Address 4 Mathias Place, Durban North Contact 031 563 4404 or cornerstoneschool.co.za Fulton School for the Deaf A public school offering specialised education (South African Sign Language) for children from 3 years old to Grade 12.

Address 8 Roosevelt Rd, Gillitts Contact 031 767 1215, fultonfunds@ iafrica.com or fulton.org.za Golden Hours A special needs school for the mentally disabled. They are a public school for children and young adults of various ages.

Address 160 Soofie Saheb Dr, Athlone Contact 031 564 2350 Hillcrest Primary School The remedial unit at this public school caters for Grade 1–7 learners that require full-time specialised remedial intervention.

Address 17 Emoyeni Dr, Hillcrest Contact 031 765 1214 or hillcrestprimary.co.za

Imbalito Hope College This independent school offers remedial, early intervention and autism programmes for Grades R–7.

Address Sal Hall Office Park, Ballito Contact 032 586 0200 or info@ imbalitohopecollege.co.za Incredible Minds Adaptive Learning Centre Offering academic and sensory excellence for children with autism and specific educational needs. They are a private centre catering for ages 3–6.

Address Clarendon Rd, Durban North Contact 084 717 2397 or Facebook: Incredible Minds Adaptive Learning Centre International Noble Kids Academy This is an all-inclusive preschool from nursery school to Grade R that offers an Advanced Potential Enhancement programme and individual cognitive therapy options.

Address 38 JB Marks Rd, Glenwood Contact 031 220 2055 or nobleeccd@ gmail.com Khanyisa Centre A private preprimary and primary school for children with one or more areas of special needs. The trans-disciplinary centre caters for children 2–12 years old.

Address cnr Mendoza Dr and Harrier Crescent, Umhlanga Rocks Contact 031 561 1863, admin@ khanyisacentre.co.za or khanyisacentre.co.za Livingstone Primary School A short-term remedial government school with a developmental unit for Grade 000– Grade R and Grade 1–7, with speech and occupational therapy.

Address 74 Livingstone Rd, Morningside Contact 031 312 2026, marketing@lpschool. co.za or livingstoneremedial.co.za

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

Open Air School A government school for children from Grade R to matric with physical disabilities.

Address 241 Esther Roberts Rd, Glenwood Contact 031 205 1277 or info@ openairschool.co.za Pathways-Kloof This a non-profit centre for children of all ages with severe cognitive and physical disabilities.

Address 1 Baden Rd, Westville Contact 031 266 5028, pathwayskl@ gmail.com or pathways-kloof.co.za

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October 2016

Starlings Pre-School This private school caters for children in Grades 00 and 0 on the autism spectrum, with sensory integration disorders and those requiring remedial support through the school readiness years.

Address Kloof Contact 082 615 9720 or starlingsschool.co.za The Browns’ School Catering for learners with autism, learning difficulties and cerebral palsy, between the ages of 3–17 years old.

Address 28 Mariannridge Dr, Pinetown Contact 031 700 3535 or browns@ brownsschool.co.za The Star Academy They offer solutions for children diagnosed with autistic spectrum (ASD) or related disorders. They are a private centre that caters for children 2–16 years old.

Address 14 Somerset Dr, Somerset Park Contact info@thestaracademy.co.za or thestaracademy.co.za Triad Schools A private centre that offers early intervention and help for children of all ages with autistic spectrum disorders.

Address 6 Sanderson Rd, Cowies Hill Contact 031 701 7044, info@triadschools. co.za or triadschools.co.za Westville Remedial Therapy and Assessment Centre They offer scholastic skills assessments and school readiness assessments, and do screenings, such as for ADHD. Remedial therapy and tuition is available for Grades R–12, with occupational therapy, speech therapy and psychological services.

Address 13 Grace Ave, Westville Contact 031 267 1499, admin@ remedialeducation.co.za or remedialeducation.co.za Whizz Kidz Special Needs Centre Catering for children with special needs such as autism, cerebral palsy, learning disabilities and other pervasive or cognitive disabilities. They offer therapy, small learning groups, Grade R–3 remedial, and individual education programmes (IEPs).

Address 5 Gordon Rd, Hatton Estate, Pinetown Contact 031 701 1490, whizzkidzsnc@ mweb.co.za or whizz-kidz.co.za magazine durban

october

what’s on in

1

Vodacom 4U

An outdoor celebration centred on community, family and fun, the festival showcases sports demonstrations and games, a children’s adventure playground, exhibitions by local businesses, food outlets, a beer garden, stage activities and more. It takes place from 8am–5pm until 2 October at Sugar Rush, Ballito. Entry is free. Contact bronwyn@ chatzconnect.com

PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

Access an extended calendar online at childmag.co.za or submit an event for November before 30 September to durban@ childmag.co.za

Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

Spring Fair

JFF Annual Ball Join the Jes Foord Foundation ball. The theme is My Fair Lady, with formal attire required. The evening starts at 7pm at the Durban Jewish Club. Pay R500 per person, or R4 500 for a table of 10. Book with debbie@etcevents.co.za

Treverton College

sleepover

Children in Grade 6 have an opportunity to experience

8

boarding in the Midlands during a sleepover on the Treverton Preparatory School and College campus from 4pm on Saturday. On Sunday, parents are invited to an information breakfast. Treverton is a Christian school in the Midlands catering for boys and girls from Grades 000–12. Contact Nikki

on 083 555 9749 or nmorris@treverton.co.za

magazine durban

calendar

The Color Run The Rainbow Tour is here, so grab your tutus, friends and running shoes and meet at the start line for 5km of rainbow fun. Then join the festival zone where you can enjoy music, best-dressed competitions, food and drink.

Your ticket includes a headband, T-shirt, colour powder and entry to The Finish Festival. It starts at 10am at Durban North College.

Tickets cost R225–R300, and children under 10 run free of charge, but must be accompanied by an adult. For more info: thecolorrun.co.za

9

23

October 2016

calendar

International Girls Ice Hockey Day This is a global opportunity for girls to try out hockey as a new sport. Girls of all ages can learn basic hockey skills in a positive, fun and safe environment, learn about fair play, sportsmanship and teamwork, meet new friends and have a chance to fall in love with a new sport. It takes place from 8:30am–9:30am at Galleria Ice Rink, and costs R50. Contact Kristyn on 082 339 9489 or durbaknights. wordpress.com

Tsogo Sun Amashova Durban Classic

9

11

Hollywood Walk Of Fame This show is a tribute to the unforgettable songs that have become as iconic as the films they were composed for, with stars who now have their names etched into our memories and into the famous Hollywood Walk of Fame.

The show runs until 8 January at 8pm Tuesday–Saturday, and 2pm Sunday. It shows at The Barnyard Theatre, with tickets costing R165 Wednesday–Saturday, R130 Tuesday and R120 Sunday. For more info: barnyardtheatres.co.za

21Trolls

This classic race sees cyclists travelling the 106km from Pietermaritzburg to Durban. There is also a 35km fun ride from Hillcrest, with a minimum age of 10 years old, and a 65km Half Challenge from Cato Ridge, with an age restriction of 12 years old. All the routes end at Suncoast in Durban. Starting times and entry prices vary.

For more info: shova.co.za

Enter a colourful world populated by hilariously unforgettable characters and discover the story of the overly optimistic Trolls, with a constant song on their lips, and the comically pessimistic Bergens, who are only happy when they have trolls in their stomach. DreamWorks’ Trolls is filled with music, heart and hairraising adventures. The film opens today at cinemas nationwide. For more info: numetro.co.za or sterkinekor.com

16

The Good Food and Wine Show

Film Festival

Launching with the theme “Fresh”, this year’s show is

Cape Union Mart delivers the spirit of outdoor

all about sustainability and

adventure and mountain culture to South Africa with

a healthier planet. This is

films of adventures by ski, bike, rock, ropes and on nominated World Tour films, selected from hundreds of festival submissions, are shown at 8pm on 28 and 29 October, at Ster Kinekor, Gateway. Standard Ster Kinekor ticket rates apply. Book online

Manor Gardens Pre Primary School spring fair Join Manor Gardens Pre Primary for a fun-filled day. There’s lots of entertainment and games for the children, craft and food stalls and much more. Take family and friends and enjoy a great day out from 9am–2pm. Entry is free. Contact gotoplaymarket@gmail.com

Banff International Mountain

water. Eleven award-winning and audience-

22

expressed through innovative

28

at sterkinekor.com or call the Ster Kinekor

culinary experiences, a variety of themes and programmes,

29

Halloween at uShaka Marine World

Families can trick or treat through uShaka Marine World’s Village Walk, then explore the scary maze in the bowels of the Wreck Aquarium in the Phantom Ship. The journey ends with uShaka’s Monster Ball, a show featuring all things ghoulish from 5:30pm at the dolphin arena. It takes place on 29 and 30 October at 4:30pm. Tickets are R130. For more info: ushakamarineworld.co.za

and a diverse selection of chefs. It’s open at 10am daily, until 30 October, at the Durban Exhibition centre.

For ticket prices, programme

Ticketline: 082 16 789

info

and

more:

durban.

goodfoodandwineshow.co.za

holiday activities Gwahumbe Junior Ranger holiday camp This camp

Summer holiday programme – Mad Scientist Do

teaches children about their favourite animals in their

you want to know how scientists perform their magic?

natural environment. Children learn how nature can

Children 6–13 years old can join Treasure Beach, together

provide you with everything you need to survive in

with their special guest Dr Genius, the mad scientist,

holiday blues away. This is an innovative and exciting

market

club for children, tweens and teens to have some fun,

The Shongweni Farmers and Craft market The

while developing their creativity, sparking inspiration and

market offers diverse products, which range from a large

honing their talent. It runs from 3–5 October, 9am–1pm

10am and 12:30pm from 4–7 October at Lucky Bean in

variety of organic foods and fresh produce to exciting

at Durban Actors Studio, 168 Mahatma Gandhi Rd. Safe

Assagay. Activities are free; entrance fees apply. The full

crafts. They are open from 6:30am–11:30am every

parking is available at uShaka Marine World. A day pass

programme is on Facebook: Lucky Bean or contact info@

Saturday. Find them at lot 457, Mr551, Shongweni. For

costs R350, and a three-day pass is R950. For more info:

more info: shongwenimarket.co.za

luckybean.co.za

durbanactorsstudio.co.za

the bush. The three-day-two-night holiday camp is for children 8–13 years old and costs R1 500. It runs from 3–5 October at Gwahumbe Game and Spa, Mid-Illovo. For more info: 087 150 3475 or info@gwahumbe.co.za Lucky Bean holiday activities Free craft workshops include biscuit decorating, or creating elastic art hearts, keyrings and cute fridge magnets. Activities take place at

24

October 2016

on 4 and 5 October, from 8am–3pm, at the Treasure Beach Environmental Education Centre. The cost is R120.

Contact them on 031 467 8507/8 or tbeach@wessa.co.za Theatre holiday club Learn new skills and keep the

magazine durban

in the next issue november’s spotlight is on “tech & toy” goods, gadgets and toys that teach a gift for teacher why sensory intelligence is so important vaccinations: for and against setting up a man cave gestational diabetes

on street 20 October To advertise call: (031) 209 2200 or email: dbnsales@childmag.co.za Booking deadline: 3 October | Material deadline: 6 October

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

magazine durban

25

October 2016

sole voyage ANÉL LEWIS didn’t realise that her daughter’s first solo walk from the school gate to the classroom would have such an emotional impact on her.

w

Anél, Erin and Conor

e were told at the beginning of the Grade R school year that the time would come when we would have to encourage our daughters to walk to class from the school gates on their own. It’s part of their development, as they work on their independence and build self-confidence. I recall nodding vigorously during the orientation meeting, thinking I would encourage Erin’s walk to freedom, so to speak, as

soon as she showed signs of being ready. Cavalierly, I reckoned this would take place in the last few months of the year. That would be plenty of time for her to establish a network of friends, to familiarise herself with the school and location of her classroom. What I failed to factor in during my estimation, was whether I would be quite ready to let her go.

I was caught completely off-guard when one recent, gloomy Monday, Erin announced in the car that she would be quite happy to walk in by herself. I loaded her up at the car with tog bag, library books and lunch cooler, and we walked the short distance to the school gates. Then it was time to say our goodbyes. I leaned in for a kiss, but she had already turned her head, her eyes fixed on the netball court that separated her from that first sweet taste of independence. She set off, looking somewhat like a wee Tibetan yak laden with her paraphernalia of books and bags. Erin turned around just once as she traversed that court. I told myself it was because she was steadfast in her mission, but it was probably to dodge the older girls who were having a fast-paced netball game before the bell rang. But whatever the reason, I could not stop myself from shedding a few tears as I watched my daughter disappear into the distance. Parents walked past me in bemusement as I stood at the gates; mascara snaking down my cheeks. “First time on her own,” I mumbled to one mom. She nodded in silent solidarity.

The next morning I waited to see whether there would be a repeat performance. I had Conor with me and he was most disappointed to hear that we would not be accompanying his sister into school. So now it was two of us standing at the school gates, as Erin made her trek across the court. This time, she didn’t look back. “Mom, where’s Erin going?” asked my confused son. “Well, Conor, she’s getting big now. She can walk in on her own.”

I could barely get the words out as I tried to swallow my sobs. As much as it hurt to let her go, I was also incredibly proud of my brave, intrepid Grade R, starting her voyage of independence. But I was not quite prepared for the double whammy when I dropped Conor off at school a few minutes later. “Mom, I am also going in on my own,” said my four-year-old son, who that morning had asked me to pull up his underpants. And just like that, he headed off like adventurer Bear Grylls through the gates and out of sight. It was way too much independence for me to deal with in one week, and I did not dare look back as I headed straight to the nearest coffee shop for the comfort of carbs and caffeine.

Anél is now following Bear Grylls on Facebook, just to remind herself that the children are “just” walking into the school grounds and not crossing a leech-infested swamp in a boat made with twigs. Not yet anyway...

family marketplace

26

October 2016

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: Susie Leblond Photography

finishing touch

book extract

choosing

health

bacon, avo and cheese open toastie serves 1–2 ingredients ✻✻ 4–6 strips chopped bacon (from grassfed animals) ✻✻ coconut oil for frying ✻✻ 2 slices sourdough rye bread, lightly toasted

In Wholesome Nutrition For You, authors IAN CRAIG and RACHEL JESSON offer a practical,

✻✻ 1 small avocado ✻✻ 2 Tbsp organic feta cheese ✻✻ natural cracked salt and organic pepper to taste method Fry the bacon in a little coconut oil, but be careful not to burn the bacon. Then chop into bite-size pieces.

On 1 slice of toasted rye, thickly smear half the avocado.

Crumble and press 1 tablespoon of feta into the smeared avocado.

Sprinkle half the chopped bacon over the feta.

Season with salt and pepper.

Repeat for the second slice.

1

science-based guide to smart eating.

2

3

snack pack makes 750g

45

ingredients ✻✻ 250g assorted activated or raw nuts ✻✻ 250g assorted unpreserved dried fruit ✻✻ 150g assorted seeds ✻✻ 100g coconut flakes ✻✻ a handful of cacao nibs

6

Serve with a generous scoop of sauerkraut and some salad of your choice.

1

method Mix all the ingredients together and either store in an airtight container or individual self-seal small packets for a “reach-and-go” option.

raw granola with kefir nut cream

Keeping these snack packets readily available will save you from reaching out for that sugar-filled chocolate or an unhealthy bag of crisps.

raw chocolate cupcakes with a chocolate ganache

ingredients granola ✻✻ 1kg raw organic rolled oats ✻✻ 3 cups chopped assorted raw or activated nuts, such as almonds, cashews, Brazils, macadamia ✻✻ 2 cups chopped organic dried fruit, such as raisins, cranberries, apricots ✻✻ 1 cup sun-dried dates ✻✻ 1 cup raw dried coconut flakes ✻✻ 2 cups mixed seeds

kefir nut cream serves 2–3 ✻✻ 150ml kefir ✻✻ ¼–½ cup cashew or macadamia nuts ✻✻ 1 tsp vanilla extract ✻✻ 3–4 fresh or soaked, dried dates ✻✻ pulp of 1 granadilla, 4–5 strawberries, ½ medium paw-paw, 1 banana, or a combination of fruits of your choosing

makes 8–10 cupcakes ingredients cupcakes ✻✻ 2 cups activated or raw walnuts ✻✻ 1 cup activated or raw pecan nuts ✻✻ a pinch of salt ✻✻ 1½ cups soaked, pitted dates ✻✻ ⅔ cup cacao powder ✻✻ 1 tsp vanilla extract ✻✻ filtered water

PHOTOGRAPHS: © Penguin Random House/Roelene Prinsloo

method In a food processor, pulse the nuts and salt until finely ground (do not over-process or the nuts will turn to butter).

Add the dates to the mixture and process until it becomes sticky. Add the cacao and vanilla, and a touch of water if the mixture seems too dry.

Drop 1–2 tablespoons of the mixture into each cup of a 12-cup cupcake tin and press down with your fingers to compact and mould the mixture.

Remove the cupcakes gently from the tin with a knife and place on a flat surface ready for icing.

Blend all the chocolate ganache ingredients (except the coconut shreds or zest for decoration) until smooth.

Spread the ganache over the cupcakes, then decorate. Refrigerate for 30 minutes before serving. They will keep for a week in the fridge (covered), or may be frozen un-iced.

6

1

2 3

chocolate ganache ✻✻ ¾ cup organic agave or raw honey ✻✻ ½ cup cacao powder ✻✻ ¼ cup carob powder ✻✻ ⅓ cup melted coconut oil ✻✻ a pinch of salt ✻✻ ½ cup shredded dried coconut or

grated organic orange or lemon zest

1 2 3 4 5

method Mix all the granola ingredients well and store in a sterilised, sealed 1,5kg glass jar.

Blend the kefir, cashew or macadamia nuts, vanilla extract and dates together; if a thicker consistency is required, add more nuts, and for a thinner cream, add more kefir or filtered water.

In a breakfast bowl, pour the kefir and nut mixture generously over a portion of granola and leave to soak for 1–2 hours before serving.

Add the mixed fresh fruit and serve.

4

about the book Every now and then a refreshing and ethical book based on sound, proven scientific principles comes onto the market, which is more than just another trendy diet book. In this book, nutritional therapist and exercise physiologist Ian Craig and his co-author, health food specialist and sports scientist Rachel Jesson, cover in detail the emotive topics of nutrition and health from a scientific perspective. They neatly unwrap all the jargon and pseudomystique, offering sensible, practical, economical, everyday dietary approaches.

The book is published by Struik Lifestyle and is available at book stores for a recommended retail price of R200.