Child magazine | PTA Winter Jun/Jul/Aug 2019

winter 2019

curating curiosity

the education issue mindfulness, reading, problem-solving & family travels

free health

education

entertainment

contents

winter 2019 - the education issue

magaz ne

upfront

publisher

4 pub’s note Combining travel and education fosters a holistic approach to learning

Lisa McNamara lisa@childmag.co.za

editorial

6 over to you Our readers have their say and share their news and views

features

12 getaway Sheer bliss ... a langorous summer holiday in the French countryside

22 recipes Wholesome tummy-filling, heartwarming winter bowls

17 education When executive functions go awry, children often struggle with daily tasks. Here’s how to help

24 parenting When dads read with their children, lifelong bonds and special memories are created

regulars

26 what’s on this winter Family events, workshops, holiday programmes and open days

10 dealing with difference Tips and tools to help children become mindful and develop greater self-worth

30 finishing touch Grab those fleeting and rare precious moments as they happen

8 health How to banish cold and flu germs this winter

14 baby Best baby products for easy travelling

31 a good read Educational books for children of all ages

16 dealing with difference Newly released books about mindfulness, happiness and understanding emotion

classified ads

20 parenting How to deal with a strongwilled child

30 family marketplace Family and community-related resource

30 let’s party Pretoria’s best party resource

cover image supplied by: istockphoto.com

connect with us: winter 2019

curating curiosity

the education issue mindfulness, reading, problem-solving & family travels

FREE health

education

entertainment

childmag.co.za

childmag.co.za

childmag

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Pretoria’s Child Magazine is published quarterly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 6, Canterbury Studios, 35 Wesley Street, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 0861 867 885, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for four issues) cost R150, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by CTP. Copyright subsists in all work published in Pretoria’s Child Magazine. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may arise from reading them.

Editor editor@childmag.co.za Resource Editor pretoria@childmag.co.za Freelance Copy Editor Brenda Bryden Online Content Manager online@childmag.co.za

art

Designers Laura Davey studio@childmag.co.za Thea Woodman

client relations

Lisa Waterloo ptasales@childmag.co.za Renee Bruning renee@childmag.co.za

print & digital advertising Lisa McNamara lisa@childmag.co.za

subscriptions & circulation Nicolene Baldy subs@childmag.co.za

accounts

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circulation

Joburg’s Child magazine 55 207 Cape Town’s Child magazine 47 958 Durban’s Child magazine 40 117 Pretoria’s Child magazine 40 189 Free requested Oct 18 – Dec 18

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pub’s note learn with optimism, inventiveness and wonder

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This issue combines two of my great passions: education and travel. One of the reasons I started Child Mag nearly 16 years ago, was due to my interest in the holistic development of children – body, mind and spirit. At work, I am consumed by the benefits of different approaches to education, from Waldorf to Montessori, co-ed or single-sex, private and public institutions, to the growth of the home or nature-based environment.

I believe that every child has a unique learning need that can be met by matching it to the optimal educational offering. Finding the right school for your child is not always cut and dried. In our family, it has certainly been a journey …

When I look at my children, I see potential. For growth, happiness, success and commitment to a meaningful cause. So, I have tried to expose them to a variety of philosophies, cultures and importantly, opportunities to learn. We read, we talk, we argue (often and loudly) and importantly, we travel. Journeying to diverse parts of this and other countries has been by far the most rewarding experience of my life.

I have written before of our trip to Bulungula’s Jujurha Preschool in a rural village on the Eastern Cape’s Wild Coast. To see world-class education in action, in a remote community with no municipal services was beyond inspiring (see bulungulaincubator.org). It opened my children’s eyes to what is possible with a bit of imagination, a lot of hard work and true dedication to the future of all children growing up in our beautiful, but often, fraught country.

On a recent trip to Indonesia, we were privileged to visit The Green School, a non-profit, private school near Ubud, Bali. The school is committed to educating for sustainability in a natural environment through its purpose-driven curriculum. Founders John and Cynthia Hardy believe “schools should be places of joy, and strive to champion a new model of education that fully ignites the imagination of children so they can engage and learn with optimism, inventiveness and wonder.” Both 3 my girls dreamed of attending The Green School, but the distance and cost ensured it remained just a dream. The good news is that there may well be one opening in South Africa in the not too distant future …

May this issue engage and entertain you and, in the words of Maya Angelou, may you:

“Travel to as many destinations as possible for the sake of education as well as pleasure”.

Scenes from The Green School, Bali: 1. Aquaponics in action 2. A tuckshop with a difference 3. hos (Heart of School) – one of the largest bamboo structures in the world.

childmag.co.za 4

magazine | pretoria winter 2019

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letters

over to you Have your say – send your thoughts, suggestions and feedback to editor@childmag.co.za

a great read from cover to cover I just love, love, love your March/April/May edition. While reading your article “Safe at Home”, I thought I need to respond to this immediately. This article really hit home as I am currently struggling with this decision with my own 10-year-old daughter. My daughters know they must not even ask because the answer is NO! I was not allowed to sleep over as a child and I remember how I hated not being able to have the fun other kids were having or taking part in the conversations on Monday at school about what happened. As an adult, I now understand why my mother took that decision. It would be wonderful if you could explore this topic further in the next edition? What are other parents’ point of view and the views of professionals in this regard?

Then I found the article on Ireland (a holiday we have been contemplating for years) and the one on learning styles that was so informative. “20 reasons your preschooler should do gymnastics” was a wonderful article. As a mother of a gymnast, I found it to be very true!

And, to top it all off, the “special treats” was a sweet ending to a wonderful read. Thank you so much for a mag that one can read from beginning to end!

Beverley

strongly in favour of vaccinations I feel very strongly about vaccinations. I work in African countries where I have seen abject poverty and hopelessness. Some mothers have not had the privilege of being able to vaccinate their children, and as a result, lost their children to preventable diseases. Vulnerable communities rely on herd immunity to help them protect their children, if for various reasons they cannot immunise their children. Without responsible people who have access to vaccines, the group of at-risk children grows and grows.

I have done plenty of research on vaccines. When I started, I had no opinion I was uneducated, but interested. I started by looking at the vaccines themselves and read articles supporting both sides of the argument. After years of debate and reading, I have yet to be swayed by anything that is anti-vaxxing.

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This is one of my favourite articles that addresses some of the concerns parents might have about vaccines: www.nytimes. com/2015/09/18/upshot/not-up-for-debate-the-science-behindvaccination.html and this site provides references to most of the recent and less recent research done on vaccinations: www.healthychildren. org/English/safety-prevention/immunizations/Pages/Vaccine-StudiesExamine-the-Evidence.aspx I share with you the reasons I believe in vaccines so strongly; but have never tried to convince anyone of my opinion. Thanks for raising the conversation!

Karien Potgieter

to vaccinate or not?

Pro-vaxxers will tell you that vaccines are safe, necessary and essential. Anti-vaxxers will argue that vaccines are not to be trusted.

Misinformation further blurs the debate.

Vaccines do have risks. Some children may suffer from sideeffects, including redness and swelling at the injection site, fever, and a rash. But the most serious risks, such as severe allergic reactions, are far rarer than the diseases vaccines protect against.

In recent years, measles outbreaks have devastated countries across the globe and reported measles cases have soared by 30% since 2016. For measles to spread from a few cases to an outbreak, all you need is one infected person in a low vaccine community with low herd immunity.

Vaccination is not a decision to be taken lightly, which is why it is critical to do your research and speak with a medical professional about your concerns. The three questions that typically come up with parents who are hesitant are: Is the vaccine safe? Is the vaccine needed? Why shouldn’t I have freedom of choice regarding my child’s vaccinations? These are valid questions, and making this decision will greatly impact the health of your children for the rest of their lives.

Craig Comrie

Send your letters or comments to editor@childmag.co.za We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

magazine | pretoria winter 2019

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health

beat the winter sniffles Here’s how to up your chances of winning against colds and flu this winter.

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his is the time of year when cold and flu germs seem to lurk around every corner, ready to pounce. Both colds and flu are airborne viruses, but colds generally cause a runny nose, sore throat and sneezing, while the flu is more likely to affect the whole body, causing fever, aches and headaches. Both are spread when someone comes into contact with droplets from coughing or sneezing, or with saliva, says Johannesburg GP Dr Bibi Aysha Makda. They have a short incubation period, and last anything from three to four days, says Dr Jonathan Egner, a Durban-based paediatrician. Colds and flu are both “highly infectious”, he says. “As long as you are sneezing and coughing you can spread the virus,” adds Makda.

counter punch Here are a few tips to beat back cold and flu germs from your family’s door this winter: • Get the jab: Getting the flu vaccine is a good idea, especially for children with respiratory or cardiac problems who may be more at

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risk of developing complications should they get the flu, says Egner. Children can be vaccinated from six months old; this can be done every year until they develop a stronger immune system.

However, not everyone needs the vaccine, so check with your GP first. Note: the vaccine only works for the flu and not for colds.

Eat right: “Eating a nutritious diet and avoiding junk food can help to improve immunity,” says Makda. She says high levels of sugar can bring down the immune system. Try foods that are rich in antioxidants and vitamin C, such as berries, pecan nuts and raw peppers.

Vitamins for vitality: Children who eat a balanced diet shouldn’t need vitamin supplements. Parents “can always up foods containing vitamin C”, suggests Egner. But a multivitamin can help counter infections that are spread at schools. Most vitamins are safe, but taking excessive vitamins A and D can lead to toxicity, so stick to the recommended allowance.

PHOTOGRAPH: unsplash | amelia keller

Child Magazine

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Fit for life: Exercise can also help to keep children healthy and strong. “The active person is healthier,” says Egner. Sunlight is also a good source of vitamin D, advises Makda.

fighting rules To make sure you win this round, here are some rules to teach children: Avoid people who are sick, advises Egner. The more exposure children have to sick people, the more danger there is of infection.

This isn’t always possible, especially at school or home, but it does help if you keep surfaces clean, and sterilise shared toys.

Children should learn to avoid touching their mouths, noses and eyes as viruses spread when germs pass from hands to mouths or eyes.

Teach children to sneeze or blow their nose into a tissue and then to throw the tissue away.

Get children into the habit of washing hands before dinner and after playtime to avoid spreading germs, says Makda. Try teaching children to sing a song (such as “Row, Row, Row, your Boat”) while they wash their hands, so that they stay at the basin long enough to clean their hands properly. If there isn’t a basin nearby, use an alcohol-based hand sanitiser.

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dealing with difference

power of the mind Children, parents and teachers need a new set of tools to deal with the many pressures of modern life.

ANÉL LEWIS

teach the teacher

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rowing up is no longer child’s play. With the increased pressure to perform in the classroom and on the sports field, there’s often little time for children to develop a healthy sense of self-worth that will enable them to deal with the various challenges they encounter.

Technology has also introduced a new dimension, and cyberbullying is yet another challenge our children confront almost on a daily basis. It’s not surprising that organisations such as WISE (Wellbeing in Schools and Education in South Africa), an NGO working in schools and youth centres in the Western Cape, report that children as young as five say they are feeling hopeless, angry and overwhelmed.

These emotions have a detrimental impact on a child’s sense of self, and a child with a poor self-image will struggle to make wise decisions or to perform in any aspect of their life, explains Carol Surya, the co-founder of WISE. “In underprivileged communities especially, we are seeing signs of abuse and cases of children as young as nine falling pregnant.

Children who have self-worth are more likely to make sound decisions.

But children in challenging circumstances tend to resort to negative behaviour – such as bullying, violence or substance abuse – to cope.”

Surya partnered with Biodanza facilitator, sculptor and entrepreneur Carmen Clews in 2017 to develop the pilot study and training programme for WISE in the Western Cape. Biodanza used dance music and movement to deepen self-awareness. “The suicide rate for South African children aged 10–14 years has more than doubled in the past 15 years, and yet we continue to place importance on teaching maths and English in schools, when children would surely benefit from resources that can equip them with self-esteem, self-sufficiency and self-love, which can contribute to their overall wellbeing,” says Surya.

WISE focuses on teaching mindfulness as a means of coping with stress, anxiety and other difficulties.

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It’s not just children who are buckling under the pressures of modern life. Surya has found that teachers are also battling to deal with daily stress and this impacts on their ability to teach and interact with children. WISE is committed to ensuring that those who are involved in a child’s development – parents, educators and anyone else who plays a role – are also emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy. WISE’s programmes, therefore, include tools and programmes for children as well as the people involved in ensuring their happiness. “It’s important to give educators the tools to improve their wellbeing first, so that they can go on to train their children,” says Surya. “Self-love first.”

Feedback from the programme has been overwhelmingly positive, she adds. Educators have reported noticeable changes to their own stress levels and a positive difference in children’s behaviour. “They reported decreased absenteeism of both learner and teacher, reduced high-risk behaviour by learners and reduced incidents of aggression in the classroom,” says Surya. “Expressive, confident children believe in themselves and speak out about their feelings, making them far less likely to fall victim to abuse.”

signs of negative self-talk Surya says low self-esteem will manifest in various ways, such as a noticeable change in behaviour, nail-biting and bad dreams. A child may suddenly refuse to talk, or refer to themselves in a negative or disparaging way. “We have worked with five year olds who say they want to be dead,” says Surya, illustrating just how destructive this self-talk can be. But, Surya says, it is possible to teach children mindfulness to equip them with the tools they need to face challenges in a more positive manner.

The WISE programme can be introduced to children from the age of five, but its books can be a source of guidance for parents from when their children are born. Surya holds regular parenting workshops about the tools needed for developing self-esteem and wellbeing in children.

“My advice for parents is to acknowledge that they are doing the best that they can with the tools that they have,” concludes Surya.

four tools to help The four tools in the WISE programme are designed with a psychologybased approach to empower children to become happier, more confident and more expressive, says Surya.

The Inner Magic board game has been designed to enhance emotional intelligence and improve self-esteem. It is suitable for children aged 5–13 and encourages them to express their emotions in a positive manner.

The Magic Mat introduces children to meditation and yoga as sources of calm and relaxation. These techniques help children

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develop compassion and self-awareness, while also helping them to focus better.

Planting Seeds for Life For teachers, Surya has developed the lesson plan book to teach children essential life skills. There are 25 lesson plans or themes that deal with a range of topics, including bullying and the importance of healthy choices. Using valuable techniques such as visualisation, the lessons are suitable for children from the age of 10.

Parent Magic is a manual for adults wanting to raise mindful children. It is based on the philosophy that “children are born capable� and that parents and teachers have to provide the best opportunity for children to thrive.

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at home recharge with your child Before starting homework or eating supper, lie down on your backs with your feet up on a chair, close your eyes and play calming music or reflect on the day. To come out of it, bring your knees towards your chest, roll over and wait a few seconds before slowly sitting up. tune in Encourage your children to get used to a daily practice

where you tune into your inner world. Gently focus your attention on your breath (following the cool air in and the warmer air out through your nostrils). Another great way is to simply put one hand on your heart and one on your belly, close your eyes and become aware of your heartbeat. take a moment Stop what you and the children are doing to breathe deeply and slowly. imagine a calm place Encourage your children to create a beautiful, safe place in their imagination. Once picturing all the colours, sights, sounds and smells in this place, they can imagine being in this place themselves and use this visualisation to feel calm and peaceful.

Quick links:

raisingkidspositively.com/wise Mindfulminis.co.za Wellnessforkids.co.za Blissfulkids.co.za earthchildproject.org/mindfulness-in-the-classroom/

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getaways

holiday heaven One brave mother takes her toddler across the seas for lazy summer days in the French countryside.

DONNA COBBAN

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whole month in the South of France where my mother lives and, somewhere in the middle, I would fly to the North of France to visit my son’s father’s family. The fact that all the grandparents live in France is pure luck, but somewhat handy given the cost of international travel. I planned and plotted for months, but as the time drew closer I wished more than anything that both the grannies lived in Potch or Polokwane, so that I would not have to undertake what seemed like a voyage of Iliad-like proportions. I had 25 kilograms of luggage and 19.9 kilograms of an often willing, but sometimes not, two-year-old child to co-ordinate. It was the first holiday ever where I started to look forward to coming home before we had even left.

I had begun explanatory preparation tales a month in advance, explaining that we would one day spend the night sleeping on an aeroplane in order to visit the grannies. He seemed delighted, charmed almost at the idea, until that day dawned and we reached the check-in counter at Cape Town International where he announced that he wanted to go home. We weren’t even an hour into our two-day journey. I reeled.

But then, thankfully, he laid eyes on the plane and jumped and jumped for joy. He ran on board as if he were charging into the ocean on a warm summer’s day. We were momentarily blessed; he ate, drank, played a bit and then fell asleep – stretched out in idyllic slumber across his seat and mine, with his legs resting on mine. I closed one eye and kept watch with the other.

All was well, until around 2am when he awoke with a blood-curdling scream. Eye patches were thrown aside, passengers leapt up as he screamed louder still. I picked him up, his little body heavy with the weight of sleep, and fled to the back of the plane. The area was well lit, two weary cabin crew skulked about looking less than charmed to see a traumatised toddler in their midst, but it was a better environment than the eerie darkness punctuated with the flickering lights of a few laptops to which

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he had awoken. He woke slowly, drank some juice, returned to his seat and nodded off again till daybreak. For me, sleep remained elusive.

living off the land A barely bearable day’s layover in Heathrow passed and then we touched down in France. Holiday heaven had arrived – rural summer life, no matter where, means no shoes, no nappies, much sunshine, paddling pools, butterflies and, in this case, fruit to pick from every passing tree or bush. We took baskets and barrows and descended upon hazelnut, plum, peach, fig and apple trees, we feasted on grapes from the nearby vines and ate blackberries from the side of the road. Granny picked sunflowers, lavender and roses on her early morning walks, filling the house with their colour and scent.

France, and large parts of Europe, are “summer family countries”. When summer descends, families often pack up and head out of the larger cities to, if they are lucky enough, a country home. Here many remain for the summer, with a working parent commuting back to work during the week. Failing this, you will see grandparents with grandchildren in tow everywhere. Fresh-produce markets are packed as families move through the heat, gathering locally-grown fruit and vegetables. We’d leave “our” market each week carrying baskets laden with prunes, cranberries, strawberries, cheeses, and melons so sweet the fragrance made you swoon. Summers like this seem a just reward for the punishing winters the locals have to endure.

One of our favoured activities became visiting the nearby night market (common occurrences in summer in many villages). Trestle tables covered in cotton cloth were lined up across the village square and all around, in various shapes and sizes, were stalls selling food, wine, cold beer and good bread. We went every Wednesday and sampled things like the tomato salad – 15 variations of tomatoes drizzled with olive oil and consumed with

PHOTOGRAPH: istockphoto.com

in france

heavenly chunks of torn up baguette, and washed down with good red wine (or water if you are a small person).

On another occasion we tried tartlettes. The amateur chef’s young daughter was sent to sit next to us to get some honest feedback – she was devastated when we spoke in English and then insisted we tell her in French what we really thought of her father’s fare. The market was filled with families – teens, tots, parents and grandparents all sat together. My son, when he did get underfoot, was always treated with delight and on occasion lifted up, introduced to new faces and passed around; he loved every minute.

Whenever we could, we loaded up the car and took baskets brimming with cheeses, bread, chilled wine and strawberries and headed for the hills.

Summer picnics in France are a popular pastime. Look for rivers, boating areas, canals, and you’ll be sure to find tables, swings, shade and other families all doing the same.

Recreational biking (sans lycra) is big in France. Getting from A to B on a bike often involves stopovers at patisseries for a pain au raisin and a strong espresso – both of which I consumed along the way as I bicycled one morning to our chosen picnic spot on the edge of the Garonne River, 40 kilometres away. There I met my parents and son, the latter had already joined forces with other children in a game of ball-kicking, and my mother had a chilled glass of rosé waiting for me. Holidays could not get better than this. So I’ve started plotting a cycling holiday for as soon as my son is old enough.

air miles A few things that I learnt along the way: • nappies and wet wipes can be much cheaper in the EU and UK (chain-store brands are very good quality), so don’t take up your precious luggage allocations with supplies.

• take dried fruit and water to consume as the plane ascends and descends. Toddlers often don’t under­stand how to open a blocked ear with a yawn.

• the days of quality airline entertainment packs for children seem to be over, so take some pencil crayons and age-appropriate activity books as well as a few bedtime story options and a stuffed creature to love.

• keep children hydrated – help yourself to small boxed fruit juices at the back of the plane and/or add water or juice to their water bottles from the passing drinks trolley.

• baby-changing tables in the toilets are only big enough for babies. If you have a toddler, try standing them up on the lid of the closed toilet to change their nappy.

• change your child into pyjamas once in the departure area – not having buttons and zips when curled up in a ball trying to sleep makes a difference and helps them tune into the concept of impending sleep.

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pregnancy and baby

have baby, will travel With the winter holidays approaching, it’s time to pack your bags and head for the hills.

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magazine | pretoria winter 2019

Stokke Xplory | from R19 999 Available from bornfabulous.co.za

Cassatto Zoomi Car Chair | R4 646 Available from Kids Emporium

Stokke Flexibath with insert | R1 080 Available from bornfabulous.co.za

Thule Coaster XT | R6 999 Available at Thule partner stores or thulestore.co.za

MooMoo Winter Sleeping Bags, age 18–36 months | from R449 Available online only at moomookids.co.za

bath to bed, you sleepy head

PHOTOGRAPH: ISTOCKPHOTO.COM

Aeromoov Instant Travel Cot | from R2 999 Available from kidsliving.co.za

Keedo Dino Bag | R249 Available from Keedo Les Deglingos Bag | R350 Available from titchandbean.co.za

B Box Travel Bib | R280 Available from Kids Emporium • The MiniKit | R395 Order from oneaid.co.za • Stokke Jetkids Box | from R3 199 Available from bornfabulous.co.za • Baby & Child Care Handbook | R349 Available at major book retailers

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dealing with difference

a good read Newly-released reads about creating mindfulness, understanding emotion and building self-esteem.

Mindfulness for Children

By Uz Afzal (Kyle Books, R252) This inspirational and timely guide is about how mindfulness helps children, why it’s becoming more popular and how to do it. It combines practical exercises that you can complete with your children with a fun and engaging commentary on the theory and science behind the practice. Uz takes you through the day, from waking, eating, learning and appreciating to sleeping, including exercises for children on how to cope with exams, how to deal with the screen culture and what mindfulness practises you can do in holiday time. Many schools are not able to include mindfulness in their curricula, so this is ideal for educators, caregivers and parents eager to have more guidance on how to support children. Mindfulness for Children is a positive and practical tool that will give your children the skills to manage their feelings, increase their confidence and concentration levels as well as aiding their transition to secondary school. And it can help you, by promoting happiness and relieving stress.

The Happiness Bible

By Cheryl Rickman (Octopus VBooks, R469) The quest for happiness is universal.

In this comprehensive guide to the history, art, science, psychology and attainment of happiness you will find answers to those searching questions and discover how to live a happier life.

The Happiness Bible includes activities, techniques and meditations to bring you and your family closer to happiness. For example, What is happiness? Does money buy happiness? Other important ingredients of happiness: setting and meeting goals, maintaining close social ties, finding purpose beyond oneself, indulging in small pleasures, getting absorbed in challenging activities, taking care of your body, living mindfully, keeping learning new things, finding ways to bounce back, looking for the good, being comfortable with who you are and being part of something bigger.

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This is Your Brain on Depression: Creating Your Path To Getting Better

By Faith G. Harper (Microcosm, R181) People who have never been depressed have no idea what it’s like. And people who have, know all too well how tough depression can be to live with. Dr Faith explains the brain science behind depression and takes one through the different options out there for getting better. Because yes there are things you can do to feel good again (including drugs but avoiding spiralling successions of drug cocktails). If you need solid, expert advice (and don’t mind the odd expletive) from someone who can also make you laugh your butt off, this book is for you!

Physical Intelligence

By Claire Dale and Patricia Peyton (Simon & Schuster, R350) Do you wish you could be more focused and productive? Would you like to ensure your most confident performance when the stakes are high and your stress levels are even higher?

The way your body reacts in any given situation determines your ability to think clearly and your capacity for managing your emotions. When you understand the way your body reacts and how to manage it, and your physical intelligence, you can handle that stressful presentation, the make-or-break meeting and the important pitch. Claire Dale and Patricia Peyton have spent the past 30 years helping business leaders, top performers and professional athletes improve their physical intelligence to achieve outstanding success and a deeper sense of fulfillment at work and home.

education

why is my child so disorganised and distractable?

Executive functioning deficits can make it difficult for children to organise and self-regulate.

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Samantha Page

oah worked on his oral all weekend, but forgot to pack it in his school bag, so he got detention for lack of preparation. Mandisi mostly makes it out of bed on time, yet he’s late every morning because it takes him forever to brush his teeth, eat breakfast and pack his bag, and he’s easily distracted by a toy on the floor, so it’s a battle of wills with his parents to make sure all the necessary tasks are accomplished before they leave home. Sarah is very organised, but her sister Kate’s room looks like it’s just been hit by a hurricane and asking her to tidy up is an even taller order than asking her to control her temper when asked to do so.

Does any of this sound familiar? These are some parents’ experiences of children suffering from executive functioning (EF) deficits. While you may be surprised that parents are so familiar with what sounds more like a psychologist’s assessment than a description of your child, EF is becoming as common a discussion point as ADHD and related attention disorders.

“Executive functions are the cognitive skills that help us manage our lives and be successful,” say Joyce Cooper-Kahn and Laurie Dietzel, the authors

of Late, Lost and Unprepared: A Parents’ Guide to Helping Children with Executive Functioning.“Children with weak executive skills, despite their best intentions, often do their homework, but forget to hand it in, wait until the last minute to start a project, lose things, or have a room that looks like a dump.”

Poor EF makes everyday tasks (planning, organising and scheduling) a challenge. Children struggle to switch gears, especially when learning a new skill or task, and they find it nearly impossible to keep things organised, which is why their desks are often a mess, pencil cases are empty and desks and school bags are filled with an assortment of sweet papers, long-forgotten school notices and leftover lunch.

According to the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, executive function and impulse control depend on three types of brain function: working memory, mental flexibility, and selfcontrol, and these skills or functions are significantly related. Each function draws on elements of the others, and overall success requires them to operate in co-ordination with each other.

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education

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working memory controls our ability to retain and manipulate distinct pieces of information over short periods of time. mental flexibility helps us to sustain or shift attention in response to different demands or to apply different rules in different settings. self-control enables us to set priorities and resist impulsive actions or responses. “Executive function skills have a profound impact on a learner’s school performance, so it is absolutely critical to assess whether or not the student with an attention deficit also has deficits

in this area,” says Chris A Zeigler Dendy, who has over 40 years’ experience as a teacher, school psychologist, and as an author on ADHD. “Some researchers believe that students with ADHD, primarily inattentive type, are more likely to have executive function deficits.

However, not all students with ADHD have poor executive functioning.

The converse is also true; all students with executive function deficits don’t have an attention deficit,” adds Zeigler Dendy.

seven skills make up executive functioning Though executive function and its link to ADHD is a relatively new phenomenon, Dr Russell Barkley, writing for ADDitude magazine, says that executive function is judged by the strength of these seven skills: 1. Self-awareness: Simply put, this is self-directed attention.

2. Inhibition: Also known as self-restraint.

3. Non-verbal working memory: The ability to hold things in your mind. Essentially, visual imagery – how well you can picture things mentally.

4. Verbal working memory: Self-speech, or internal speech. Most people think of this as their “inner monologue”.

5. Emotional self-regulation: The ability to take the previous four executive functions and use them to manipulate your own emotional state. This means learning to use words, images, and

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your own self-awareness to process and alter how we feel about things.

6. Self-motivation: How well you can motivate yourself to complete a task when there is no immediate external consequence.

7. Planning and problem-solving: Experts sometimes like to think of this as “self-play” – how we play with information in our minds to come up with new ways of doing something. By taking things apart and then combining them in different ways, we’re planning solutions to our problems.

Barkley adds that anyone who exhibits the classic symptoms of ADHD will have difficulty with all or most of these executive functions.

help is at hand While there is a great deal of negativity around executive functioning disorders in children, there is good news – from learning specialists and doctors who have devised methods to boost organisational skills that don’t come naturally to a child with poor executive functioning, and a mix of strategies that complement or enhance the child’s abilities, to parents and teachers who have committed to employing practical strategies instead of medication to address functioning deficits.

Dr Thomas Dannhauser, honorary senior lecturer in psychiatry, and research and development lead at Brain Gain Neurofeedback Training,

comments: “EF crucially depends on brain activity in the front parts of the brain known as the frontal cortex. Children with ADHD and EF problems commonly have decreased activity in the frontal cortex. Brain Gain uses neurofeedback training that specifically exercises these areas. The training also incorporates specific techniques that allow us to exercise the frontal areas and EF simultaneously. Children can, therefore, learn how to concentrate more selectively and for longer, and they are taught how to complete tasks.” He also notes: “Some recent evidence suggests that around 20% of children who present with significant attention problems (ADHD and, therefore, executive function dysfunction) spontaneously recover in their late teens.”

While it’s tempting to list practical strategies, which could help your child cope with organising and planning challenges – like making checklists to tick off, breaking projects down into small, manageable parts or enforcing strict routines at home and in the classroom – researchers mostly agree that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to dealing with EF dysfunction. This is why an educational assessment is vital and the best place to start remediation.

Once you know exactly where your child’s deficits are, you can get professional advice about how to address each challenge with carefully structured tasks so as to always maintain positivity, build confidence and turn their challenges into learning opportunities.

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parenting

dealing with conflict and the strong-willed child Learn to handle conflict, inspire empathy and recognise teachable moments in your home.

TAMSYN CORNELIUS

l

et’s face it, raising a strong-willed child has its challenges. Constantly butting heads with a mini version of yourself, may leave you feeling a little out of your depth and under strain. Take a seat. We’re here to help.

When you’re in the middle of a heated argument with your feisty toddler over their newfound dislike of a certain food that you know they ate (and enjoyed) just yesterday, it’s easy to blow your top and get stuck in a constant cycle of negotiation. Sometimes we need to step back and consider our approach before we react.

According to The Child Development Institute, the way we speak to our kids can strongly influence how they choose to engage with others. In fact, the Institute for Security Studies and the University of Cape Town compiled a local case study to assess how positive parenting, or a lack thereof, may influence a child’s development.

The study, which surveyed children aged 6–18 from a rural Western Cape community, found that most children were far more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression and aggression if they experienced similar behaviour at home, including parental stress, spanking and slapping.

How we respond and communicate with our children can, therefore, have a significant impact on how they learn to manage difficult situations. If we constantly respond out of anger or frustration, we indirectly teach our children that these harsh responses are appropriate during conflict situations.

PHOTOGRAPH: istockphoto.com

think before you react

create a place of trust We spoke to Cape Town-based educational psychologist Mirna Van Wyk, who specialises in guiding educators and parents in effectively dealing with children in difficult circumstances.

She stresses that it is important to create a foundation of trust at home and to have open communication with your child.

“Allow your child to talk to you about anything. If they see that you are interested, listen to the small things and don’t overreact, they might trust you more easily with the difficult emotions and issues that growing up presents,” explains Van Wyk.

Try engaging your child in conversation at their level. Get down on your knees if you must and listen to what they are saying (and how they are feeling). This response alone will help to reinforce the trust-relationship between parent and child as you create a safe space that is far less confrontational.

learn to listen and empathise Lynette Snyman, children’s pastor at The Father’s House Christian Fellowship, says: “When there is conflict, make sure that you stay in control, even if you must take a breather and then resume the conversation.

… the way we speak to our kids can strongly influence how they choose to engage with others.

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Also, be sure to acknowledge your child’s feelings during a tense situation.” In her experience of working with local families, particularly primary school children, over the past 20 years, Snyman 3ncourages parents to forge meaningful relationships with their children to help work through conflict at home.

“Really listen to your child’s point of view.

Make sure that your child knows that they have been heard, even if you don’t agree with what has been said.”

Model the idea that conflict can be resolved through respect, an empathetic ear and simple conversation. In her book Daring Greatly, research professor Brené Brown explains the power of empathy. “Empathy is a strange and

powerful thing … It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘you’re not alone’.”

Empathy does not mean that you need to give in to the demands of your child. It does, however. teach your child to approach people and situations with kindness, a calm temperament and a level head.

Through empathy, we can teach our children compassion, respect and how to positively react in times of stress.

teachable moments “Children are like a wall that you throw a ball at.

The harder you throw your emotions at them,

the harder it will come back. Sometimes talking softly with few words can settle down a child so that you can teach them,” explains Van Wyk. Think clearly, stay calm and give your child choices. Teach them to brainstorm solutions.

Help them to stop and think before they react. In turn, they may realise that negativity and harsh reactions are not appropriate. It is important to recognise these teachable moments and help our kids develop creative problem-solving skills and resilience for the future.

Let’s not break the spirits of our strong-willed children. If we want to help them cope through hard times, then perhaps it is time to rethink our approach to conflict and aim to nurture our children into functional future adults.

a five-step guide for parents Educational psychologist Mirna Van Wyk shares an action plan for parents to cope with their strong-willed children.

1. Identify good behaviour: Praise positive behaviour in your child, then perhaps you may not need to punish negative behaviour later. Start by acknowledging your child’s name.

Name the desired behaviour and then specify a positive outcome because they have complied, for example, “Thank you, Calvin, for listening the first time I asked you to get ready for bed, now we have time for a bedtime story.”

2. Build a relationship: Spend time together and play games with your child. Card and boardgames are fantastic options to teach your children how to follow rules. If your child loses, they will also learn how to deal with disappointment.

3. Model positive behaviour: Don’t be afraid to share your own

concerns and disappointments with your children. Model your own positive reactions to negative situations and how you have successfully dealt with conflict and setbacks of your own.

4. Stay calm. Always: In the heat of the moment, step aside and calm down. Use a time-out for your child (and yourself) to settle down. You can stop a child from a dangerous action by shouting at him, but you cannot teach him the correct behaviour by shouting.

5. Intervene early: Investigate what your children’s triggers are when they overreact and work at eliminating these triggers.

All children overreact sometimes, but if your child’s school also reports worrying behaviour, consider seeking professional help through an educational psychologist or paediatrician.

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recipes

warming winter bowls of goodness Easy-to-prepare tummypleasing soup recipes for busy parents. Extracts taken from Meals by Christine Capendale.

roasted cauliflower and chickpea soup

Serves 4 These two nutritional superstars marry well.

• 1 head cauliflower, cut into small florets • 1 tin (400g) chickpeas, rinsed and drained • 30ml olive oil • 5ml paprika • 5ml chopped fresh thyme • salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste • 5ml ground cumin • 15ml grated ginger • 5ml grated fresh turmeric or 2.5ml ground turmeric • 150g potatoes, peeled and diced • 500ml vegetable or chicken stock • 200ml fresh cream • 250ml milk • extra thyme for garnishing Preheat the oven to 200°C. Combine the cauliflower, chickpeas, half of the olive oil, paprika, thyme and seasoning in an ovenproof dish, mix well and roast for about 25 minutes. Stir once during the cooking period. Remove from the oven and keep aside – reserve about one-third of this mixture to use as garnish for the soup.

Meanwhile, place the rest of the olive oil in a saucepan on medium heat and add the cumin, ginger and turmeric. Cook for

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1 minute and then add the potatoes. Cook for a few minutes and then add the stock.

Simmer the potatoes on low heat until they are cooked. Cool a little and then stir in the cream, milk and two-thirds of the roasted cauliflower and chickpea mixture.

Blend until smooth and adjust the seasoning to taste.

Reheat and serve with the reserved roasted cauliflower and chickpeas and some more fresh thyme.

magazine | pretoria winter 2019

haddock and bacon chowder

Serves 4 • 20ml olive oil • 200g bacon rashers, chopped • 2 large leeks, thinly sliced and washed • 2 small potatoes, peeled and cut into 2cm cubes • 30ml cake flour • 50ml dry white wine (you can substitute the wine with more stock) • 400ml chicken stock

• 250ml milk • 1 bay leaf • 250g smoked haddock fillets, skin off and cut into chunks • 250ml fresh cream • 20ml flat-leaf parsley, chopped • salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste • extra chopped fresh parsley and crispy bacon for serving

healthy and filling. We all love recipes with only a few ingredients – it is not often that you get such a great result though.

• • • • • •

Heat the olive oil in a saucepan on medium heat and add the bacon. Cook until it is golden brown. Remove most of the bacon and continue frying the rest until it is crispy, then keep aside to use as a garnish. Add the leeks and potatoes and sauté for a few minutes.

Add the flour, stirring all the time, and gradually add the wine, stock and milk.

Stir until the mixture starts to thicken, then add the bay leaf and simmer on low heat for about 15 minutes. The potatoes must be tender.

Add the fish and bacon and simmer until the fish is cooked. Gently stir in the cream and parsley.

Taste to adjust the seasoning and do not let the soup boil again. Serve with parsley and crispy bacon.

chicken and corn soup

Serves 4 On very lazy nights this recipe is a lifesaver! It is super quick to prepare, and you feel good after eating it. It is simple,

• • • • • • •

30ml olive oil 1 onion, chopped 1 clove garlic, crushed 15ml grated ginger pinch of chilli flakes or 1 small chilli, seeded and chopped 4 chicken breast fillets, cut into small pieces salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste 20ml cake flour 400ml chicken stock 1 tin (400ml) coconut milk or coconut cream 1 tin (400g) cream-style sweetcorn 1 tin (400g) whole kernel corn, drained 100ml chopped spring onions

Heat the olive oil on medium heat and fry the onion, garlic, ginger and chilli for a few minutes. Add the chicken pieces and cook for a few minutes while stirring.

Season with salt and pepper and stir in the flour.

Remove the saucepan from the heat and add the chicken stock and coconut milk slowly while stirring (to prevent lumps from forming). Add the sweetcorn and corn kernels and return the saucepan to the heat.

Simmer the soup on low heat for 5 minutes.

Add the spring onions and season with salt and black pepper. Serve immediately.

did you know?

A chowder is a thick, chunky and very nutritious soup often prepared with milk and/or cream.

about the book

Meals by Christine Capendale is filled with recipes, menus and tips for every occasion, designed to inspire you to enjoy cooking effortlessly. It is published by Human & Rousseau and retails for R325.

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parenting

dads, reading This Father’s Day and every day, dads can get in on story time and create special memories that will last a lifetime.

CHILD MAGAZINE

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magazine | pretoria winter 2019

PHOTOGRAPH: istockphoto.com

d

ads are the people we look up to. They’re our role models, our heroes. So it’s little surprise that dads have a huge role to play when it comes to getting children, especially boys, to love reading.

A love of reading increases the chances of academic success, but one problem is that in the past, boys may have seen reading as girl territory. Dads, as role models, can change this perception. Craig Wilkinson, author of Dad, says: “A young boy’s father is his primary role model and he will look

and reading aloud to his dad to show him how to live life. If reading is important to dad, chances are it will become important to his son.” The idea is that dads can show boys that reading is fun and interesting, both by reading to their sons and daughters, and by letting children see them reading.

There’s something in it for dads too.

“Reading together is one of the most valuable and enriching ways of spending quality time with your children,” says Wilkinson.

“You are discovering new things together, teaching them a priceless habit and spending uninterrupted time with them.” Story time is also a chance to share thoughts and opinions and to learn about your children’s interests.

Dads can use this time to relax and have fun with their children and find out about how their children see the world.

ways to make it work

Make the time: schedule time into your day, pledge 30 minutes a day, read a story after dinner, or fit in a story whenever you can. Even if you’re away, you can always read a book over Skype or Facetime.

Get involved: take your children to the library or the bookstore, and show them what books you find interesting. When selecting books, choose those that you and your children will enjoy together.

You don’t have to only read books: there are also newspapers, magazines,

graphic novels and comics to choose from. Or page through a photography book and examine and talk about the pictures. You can even tell stories to your children.

As children get better at reading, Wilkinson suggests letting them read to you.

If children are old enough to read books by themselves, why not read them as well?

Then you and your children can share your thoughts and opinions.

Don’t know what to read?

Take a look at these websites, they are sure to inspire you: nalibali.org | readkiddoread.com | readingrockets.org

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calendar

what’s on this winter For more events go to childmag.co.za/whats-on or submit an event for our spring issue before 2 August to pretoria@childmag.co.za 1 June Bricktacular Lego Store Opening Pop into the new LEGO-certified store openng today at Menlyn Park. Fabulous prizes and giveaways on offer.

Venue: Menlyn Park Contact: 012 764 9600

1 June Winter Warm Up Dog Walk Charity dog walk to raise funds for PAWS, organised by the Lions Club. Dog food donations are welcome.

Venue: Hazeldean Farm, Pretoria East

Time: 7:30am–11am Cost: R50 (adult), dogs on a leash enter free.

Contact: Liezel 083 388 2246, liezelv@ brightrock.co.za, facebook.com/LionsCenturion/

1–30 June DinnerTimeStories This innovative, internationally-acclaimed, gastronomic experience is full of tabletopprojected fun and surprises. The mood, music, table patterns, props and decoration all change with the chapters of the story promising to immerse you in the most eye-catching “meal” you will ever see – guaranteed.

14–17 June Disney On Ice Magical Ice Festival Get ready to enter a winter wonderland as Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse bring the most magical moments from across the Disney kingdom to South Africa. In a new twist on fairytale fun, comical segments from everyone’s favourite Disney films set the scene for the show-stopping on-ice stories of princesses Ariel, Rapunzel and Belle.

It’s a magical mix of royalty. Plus, enjoy a special appearance by Anna and Elsa from the award-winning animated feature film Frozen.

Venue: Sun Arena @ Time Square, Menlyn Time: Various Cost: R150–R450 book through online.computicket.com

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magazine | pretoria winter 2019

3 June World Clubfoot Day Clubfoot is a congenital deformity involving either one foot or both, and is a relatively common birth defect. With proper treatment, the vast majority of children diagnosed with clubfoot recover completely. The Ponseti method, a nonsurgical approach, is one of the most widely used treatment approaches. It involves repositioning the affected food and using a series of casts and is highly effective, inexpensive and has no sideeffects. World Clubfoot Day promotes global awareness that clubfoot is a treatable deformity.

Contact: ponseti.info/world-clubfootday.html

Venue: Faircity Quatermain Hotel, Sandton Time: Various Cost: R1 450 (adult entry + wine pairing), R1 225 (adult entry), R975 (children 8–12 years accompanied by an adult), book through online.computicket.com

18–21 June, 25–28 June, 2–5 July Junior Nature Conservator Course This activity-filled course introduces learners to the wider field of nature conservation. Learners will explore and research the adaptations, behaviour and conservation issues of animals in the zoo, reptile park and aquarium. Suitable

22 June–6 July Three Little Pigs What’s not to love about the classic, witty and exciting tale of the three little pigs combined in an exciting script filled with dancing, singing and a whole lot of laughter? Perfect for the whole family.

Venue: Irene Village Theatre, 1 Pioneer Road, Irene Time: 10:30am and 2:30pm with a special evening show at 6:30pm on 5 July. 9:30am, 12:30pm and 3:30pm (Saturday 6 July) Cost: R90 (children sitting on cushions in front of the stage), R100 (chairs) Contact: 084 804 0490, 082 423 0603, tshwaneyouththeatre@gmail.com

for children grades 7–11.

Venue: National Zoological Garden of South Africa, 232 Boom Street, Pretoria Time: 8am–4pm Cost: R165 Contact: 012 339 2844/012 339 2728, M.Kwinda@sanbi.org.za

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calendar

8, 22 June, 6, 20 July, 3, 10, 17, 31 August Drumming Circle Klitsgras Drumming presents a variety of events and workshops revolving around drumming. Studies have shown that drumming is an uplifting experience that decreases stress and opens the mind for communication, creativity and focus. There are live performances, yoga, meditation and food and interactive family drumming.

Venue: Plot 62, Garsfontein Road Time: 12pm–11pm Cost: R200 (adults), R120 (children), R40 (drum hire) Contact: klitsgras.co.za

15 June French Bazaar Bring your used goods (jewellery, books, toys, clothes, fabrics, accessories, deco, furniture, bikes, sports and camping equipment) to sell at the French Bazaar. There’ll be organic food stalls, and lots of sweet treats, plus three charity stalls for donations of any kind.

Venue: Lycée Jules Verne, 818 George Ave, Eastwood-Arcadia, Pretoria Time: 9am–2pm Contact: comitepta@lyceejulesverne-jhb.net

29 June Day/Night Market at the Cowhouse Come experience the day/night market at the Cowhouse every last Saturday of the month.

Venue: Ridge Road, Hazeldean Time: 9am–10pm Contact: info@hazeldeanvalley.co.za

10 August Limelight Concert Limelight Concerts are hosted by the Brooklyn Theatre featuring performances by music students.

The concerts are varied, featuring anything from choirs, operas, guitar, piano and violin. Gisela Scriba Piano students will be performing today.

Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Menlopark Time: 11am Cost: R20 Contact:Erica or Jean-Pierre, 012 460 6033, brooklyntheatre.co.za

Fancy a ride on a mini train? Visit the theme park with its three replicas of life-sized trains and travel around through tunnels and over bridges on a full mini-scale 7.25-inch, 1.2km train track. There’s a swimming pool with a slide, pedal boats, jumping castles, trampolines, jungle gyms, sandpit and a mini bike track.

Venue: Cedar Junction, 404 Graham Road, Zwavelpoort Contact: 082 766 2748, 065 826 8384, info@ cedarjunction.co.za

holiday fun

Treetop Adventures

Hit the Mall

Hit the Mall has something to keep everyone entertained during the long winter holidays.

Tenpin bowling, laser tag, bumper cars, the 4D simulator, and classic arcade games. The ice-skating rink is a popular spot for young and old and the IMAX cinema is right across the hall. Young children can play in the toddler water park.

Venue: The Grove Mall, Equestria Time: Mall trading hours Cost: Various Contact: 012 807 0963, thegrovemall.co.za

Animals at the Zoo The National Zoological Gardens of South Africa is the largest zoo in the country and home to more than 3 100 animals. There is also a reptile park, a marine aquarium, a walk-in aviary and cable car. Bring a picnic basket and eat lunch next to the Apies River, or buy snacks at the restaurant or food vendors inside the zoo.

Venue: 232 Boom St, Daspoort, Pretoria Contact: 012 339 2700, www.nzg.ac.za

3,4 July Fame Superhero Showcase A variety of perfomances by singers, instrumentalists, comedian, dancers and magicians. Children of all ages are welcome.

Dress up as your favourite Superhero.

Venue: Sun Arena @ Time Square, Menlyn Time: 6pm Cost: From R295, book through online. computicket.com

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Mini Train Rides

magazine | pretoria winter 2019

Acrobranch is a unique treetop experience offering both children and adults the adventure of a lifetime as you glide from tree to tree in lush, green forests. There are different obstacle courses based on age and fitness, some for younger children and others catering for teenagers, moms and dads. The activity offers you a combination of zip-lining, crossing wooden walkways, and crossing and climbing rope ladders way up in the trees.

Venue: Acrobranch Pretoria North, 18 Honingnestkrans Street, Soutpan Road, Pretoria North Cost: Various Contact: 086 999 0369

Go-kart Racing For adrenaline thrills, racing go-karts around an indoor track can’t be beaten. Push yourself to the limits with speeds of up to 65km/h. Safety is super important and no racing is allowed without helmets. Experienced marshals are on the track at all times for the safety of the drivers. Suitable for all ages.

Venue: China Shopping Mall, Roodeplaat Cost: Various Contact: 012 808 1138

Indoor Trampoline Jumping Jump your way to holiday happiness at Bounce. There’s a huge indoor trampoline park, a free-jump arena, trampoline slam dunk, big bag, dodgeball, and wall tramps as well as a unique adventure challenge course called X-Park that combines elements of climbing, jumping, and freerunning before zipping on the aerial runway to the finish line.

Time: 8am–6pm Venue: Level 2, Menlyn Maine, Waterkloof Ext 2, Cost: Various Contact: 012 942 1117, bounceinc.co.za

Mountain Biking in a Bike Park Let the little ones burn some energy at the Kiddies Bike Park at Hazeldean Valley. More advanced riders may prefer to go on the Hazeldean Valley Trails’ longer mountain bike routes. Shoes and helmets are recommended, but sidewheels are not as they can get stuck on the bank next to the path. There’s seating inside the kiddies bike park for moms and dads who prefer to keep a closer eye. There’s also a kiddies’ playpark.

Venue: Ridge Road & Oukraal Boulevard, Hazeldean Cost: Entry is free Contact: 072 399 0154, hazeldeanvalley.co.za/ kiddies-bike-park

Adventure Sports in the Outdoors A trip to AdrenalinX Adventure Park will thrill your children if they love action-packed outdoor fun. Complete with laser games, airgun shooting, archery, rock climbing and abseiling and a water park with a monster super-slide. Instructors conduct presentations before each activity to ensure safety and correct technique. Booking is essential.

Venue: 74 Graham Rd, Shere Cost: Various Contact: 073 271 3936, info@adrenalinx.co.za

Forest Hill City Wave Pool Have surfing fun in the heated wave pool at Forest Hill City.

Venue: Forest Hill City Mall, Monavoni, Centurion Time: 10am–6pm (Mon–Sat), 10am–5pm (Sun and public holidays) Cost: From R50 per person for 20 mins Contact: 012 007 0917

Dyno Karting indoor go-karting Experience an adrenaline rush at Menlyn Park Shopping Centre undercover parking garage level P6U. Great fun for the family.

Venue: Atterbury Road, Menlo Park Time: 10am–10pm (Monday–Saturday), 10am–6pm (Sunday) Cost: From R70 (+- 10 laps)–R320 per driver (+- 60 laps) Contact: 012 472 0018/060 346 3947, info@ dynokarting.co.za, dynokarting.co.za

open days Glenstantia Open Day Visit the school on 17 August for the Grade R open day.

Venue: Anton van Wouw Street, Constantia Park Contact: 012 998 6116, admin@ glenstantia.co.za, glenstantia.co.za

Hatfield Montessori Preschool Visit the preschool on 8 June to find out about the school’s quality education offerings, including recognising a child’s individual, natural and holistic development, respect for oneself and others and supporting self-directed learning.

Venue: 1307 South Street, Hatfield Time: 10am–12pm Contact: 012 362 0269, hatfieldmontessori.co.za

St Paulus Pre-primary and Primary School Take the opportunity to visit this very special school catering for Grades 00–7 during the open day on 31 May. Time: 8:30am–11:00am Venue: 23 Boekenhout Street, Brummeria Contact: 012 804 9670, admissions@ stpaulus.co.za

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finishing touch

counting the

precious minutes Time takes flight with every step of independence gained. anél lewis

t

ime is a funny thing when you are a parent.

At first, it is all about counting the months and recording the milestones of your baby’s development. First tooth, first steps, first words. You eagerly look out for the next phase of their growth. Once they start school, you find yourself wishing you could slow things down as they start to show signs of independence.

Granted, there are some aspects of getting older that my children doggedly refuse to grasp.

Conor, my seven-year-old son, can construct virtual worlds online and name all of the Stormers’ rugby players, but don’t ask him to tie his shoelaces or pack away his school clothes. Erin, aged eight, knows the lyrics

of all of JoJo Siwa’s hit songs, but for some reason, she has confused her cupboard with her floor, and the latter seems to be a far more convenient storage place for everything from clothes to ballet shoes and discarded squishies.

But they are both asserting their independence in other ways. Bath time is no longer a shared activity, and Erin enjoys choosing and ordering her own meals when we eat out.

I recently walked with Conor to school, and bearing in mind the importance of encouraging independence, I resisted the urge to hold his hand as we walked through the park. Instead, I listened to him chat animatedly about the day ahead and thought about how our conversation would soon

let’s party

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Craig, Conor, Erin and Anél

magazine | pretoria winter 2019

be reduced to grunts and monosyllables as my maturing boy would no doubt find it boring to share his thoughts with Mom. But then I felt a small hand take mine, and for a few minutes, I relished the sweet pause in the unforgiving march of time that seems to be gaining momentum with each passing week.

The respite was brief, and after a quick peck at the school gates, he was off to play with his friends without a backward glance. Now if only I could get him to tie his own shoelaces....

Anél Lewis is walking extra slowly to school in the mornings to make the most of this precious time – and to give Conor a few extra minutes to sort out his shoelaces.

family marketplace

books

a good read Recommended educational reads for children of all ages.

Mum’s New Hat and Other Stories

By Roderick Hunt & Alex Brychta (Oxford, R2 879 set of 6 books) In this Read with Oxford Stage 1: Biff, Chip and Kipper collection, children can enjoy funny rhymes with Kipper, watch Biff and Chip’s magic show and find out what happens to Mum’s new hat on a windy day. There are tips for parents and fun activities throughout the book for you and your child to enjoy together. This series is the perfect companion from your child’s very first steps in phonics all the way to reading independence.

Opposites

By Roald Dahl (Puffin, R118) Let your child learn their opposites with Roald Dahl (with a little help from the Enormous Crocodile too). Busy little hands can lift the flaps to discover the opposites with iconic illustrations of Dahl’s muchloved characters from Quentin Blake. This sturdy board book is the perfect first baby book to introduce titchy toddlers to the world of Roald Dahl.

Songbirds Singing Dads

By Julia Donaldson (Oxford, R2 879 set of 6 books) With a focus on building phonics skills, this collection includes seven fun stories with colourful illustrations. It is ideal for children who are developing early reading skills. Find out about Singing Dad and Viv’s Odd Pet, as well as Ron Rabbit’s job at the fish and chip shop! Tips for reading together explain the letter patterns that each story focuses on and identify any words children may find tricky.

The Day the Dragon Came

By Fanie Viljoen (Human Rousseau, R95) A book for girls and a book for boys, which tackle the serious matter of child molestation and serve to inform and empower children.

They highlight the warning signs of sexual abuse and teach children how to react in such a situation.

Sammy the Starfish

By Phillippa Morassi (myfeelingfriends.org R130) While everyone else was having fun, Sammy the Starfish was feeling glum, but he didn’t know why he was feeling bad, tearful, and a little bit sad. My Feeling Friends is a series of stories aimed at assisting children in managing big emotions.

Obnoxious Naledi and the Poppysmic Fairy

By Tracy-Lee Easthorpe (Obsidian Worlds Publishing, R150) The Poppysmic Fairy is a magical creature that visits Naledi to teach her a lesson. Naledi is obnoxious, rude and annoying. Open the book to help the story unfold, a secret lies hidden in it, we’re told …

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