Child Magazine | Cape Town August 2012

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

slow parenting the fast way to grow an independent child

help,

my child hates his teacher bossing, biting, lying and stealing what’s really going on?

the education issue

www.childmag.co.za

August 2012

free

make a success of maths, music, reading and writing

health

60

education

doors to knock on

entertainment

Fifteen minutes of reading with your child each day can expose them to one million written words in a year.

An inspiring thought, and just one of the statistics I picked up on the Nal’ibali website, which has the sole purpose of getting children everywhere to read. Encouraging children to read is really important, but so too is reading to and with our children. It all starts with a story…

Storytelling is an art that teachers, parents and children should explore and develop, even in educationally barren parts of South Africa.

Some of my happiest moments have been watching my daughters listen to my husband telling them stories of when “he was a little girl”. Seven years apart, yet they both fell for it over and over again and would shriek with laughter. Once they had settled down, he would regale them with the naughty things he and his brother got up to as children. The thought of having a mud fight inside Granny’s pristine lounge horrified my little girls – they could picture these naughty boys running amok and their Granny’s shocked face on returning home. And so the love of stories began in our family and grew as my husband progressed to the Harry Potter series, reading them all from cover to cover, in character, twice.

We owe it to our children to help them discover the joy of storytelling. Encourage them to make up stories, write them down and tell them. At the end of each day, why not also take 15 minutes to read or tell a story? You will be giving your child so much more than just a tale…

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Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor

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Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios, 35 Wesley Street, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 021 465 6093, fax: 021 462 2680, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Cape Town’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy.

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August 2012

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contents

august 2012 32 sobering truths

teenage drinking stunts your child’s emotional growth. By Gary Koen

health 10 fact or folklore?

16

Lucille Kemp looks at the latest research done around parabens

regulars 8 wins 11 upfront with paul

if you want your children to be well-behaved, you need to be the example, says Paul Kerton

upfront

12 best for baby – big enough for

a big-boy bed

3

a note from lisa

6 over to you readers respond

when should your child move from a cot to a bed? Kim Maxwell finds out

14 dealing with difference

19 reader’s blog

Claudia Eicker-Harris says her little girl

is thrilled with having two moms

Lisa Lazarus looks at a genetic link to ADHD

34 resource – an added advantage

features

Lucille Kemp has compiled a list of learning centres that will help your child excel at school

16 naughty or needy?

44 a good read

c hildren sometimes bite, bully and steal. Glynis Horning finds out what is age-appropriate behaviour and when parents should worry

20 giants and mermaids there is a time and place for fairytales in a child’s education.

By Ruth Rehbock

new books for the whole family

48 what’s on in august 62 finishing touch

maternity leave is not an extended holiday, says Anél Lewis.

It’s hard work

classified ads

22 deal with it

Ruth Rehbock gives you advice on what to do when your child dislikes his teacher 24 out-the-box lunches

some of South Africa’s favourite chefs present their creative lunchbox ideas 26 harried no more Kim Maxwell introduces you to the slow parenting approach

56 family marketplace 59 let’s party

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30 extra! extra!

don’t underestimate the value of newspapers, says Tamlyn Vincent. It’s a very useful educational tool

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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August 2012

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

St Mary’s School grahamdelacy.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

magazine cape town

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August 2012

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letters

over to you

my child labelled a bully I was summoned to the principal’s office as my child was supposedly fighting with other children. I was shocked and saddened to hear that a parent called in to complain and did not want her child playing with mine, because my child was “horrible”, “nasty” and “a bully”. How can a parent judge a child without getting to know them?

The other child has told my daughter that she can’t play with them anymore. My daughter is six years old and a bit on the wild side, but will never hurt someone on purpose. Because of the situation she no longer enjoys going to school. The teacher has already punished her for fighting and now the children are punishing her. Why do we teach children to dislike one another? My child has come home with scratches after playing at school, but I have never called the school to complain about it.

Children sometimes have scuffles when they play, but soon order is restored. I am not saying fighting is okay, but parents should not make it worse by interfering.

There are so many teenagers who take their own lives because of being treated as outcasts at school.

Sandra

be prepared, parents I recently took my 14-month old daughter to a local play park and was chatting to a mom of a 13-month old boy; in less than half an hour, the little boy started choking on the lid of a water bottle. I am aware of the terms and conditions in these places, but not one staff member hurried to help the mom, who by now was frantic and asking for anybody’s help. I stood there helpless. I have had no CPR training whatsoever and was scared I might do more damage. While I am angry at the establishment for not having a person to assist with this matter, I am also angry with myself and the other parents who also stood and watched. I want to urge parents to go on a CPR course.

They could save a life. I know the little boy is fine, but I apologise to the mom for not being able to assist. I have now signed up my whole family for a CPR course.

Samantha Wilson

vive le barge!

Having been on pension for just over 12 years, I was somewhat surprised when my wife handed me the July 2012 issue of Child magazine.

“What”, I thought, “could there be of any interest to me in this publication? It was only when I opened to the article “a trip down the countryside”, by Louise Brouard, that the penny dropped.

My wife and I have been avid canal boaters since 2000, and have completed seven wonderful cruises to date. Our first cruise was with my wife’s sister and her husband, as novices from a base on the Midi Canal.

Everything from choosing a boat to operating the locks was new to us, and we made many mistakes, but the bug had bitten.

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August 2012

the dolly debate continues In reply to the letter by Ingrid Dekker, in the July issue of Child magazine: I also have a 5-year-old girl who thinks that straight, blond hair is beautiful and she believes her Afro is ugly. I have been looking for a black doll to try and change her perceptions of herself.

Karabo Mabe There are hardly any black or coloured dollies in our toyshops. My daughter has asked me “why do all

the dollies have yellow hair? I don’t want a yellowhaired dolly, I want a brown doll.” This is the new South Africa and every little bit of change helps.

Mischka Spies I am a black woman who has searched high and low for black dolls for my eight year old daughter to no avail. I want so much for her to love her curly, kinky hair.

Gabisile

Our next cruise took place days later on the Nivernais canal. My wife and I travelled in the opposite direction to the Brouards, from Corbigny to Joigny on a Penechette boat in lousy weather, starting on a Sunday – a huge mistake, as we soon found out. The French word ferme suddenly took on a new meaning. We were unable to buy any food and water in Corbigny on Saturday evening, as all of the shops were closed when we got there, and on Sunday everywhere we stopped along the canal to shop, was closed for the day. Our last meal had been a continental breakfast in Paris early on Saturday morning, and our next meal took place on Monday evening.

The Brouards will be sad to hear that the two boats that they and their friends hired were removed from the CBL/Connoisseur fleet, and no longer feature in the new “Le Boat” brochure or website. We used a Ha’Penny 900 for our cruise on the Saone River in 2006, and it

son who needs to get his motor-skills developed so that he can attend Grade 1 next year. Where can we find a list of occupational therapists in our region?

Lekgolo Mayatula Childmag says... visit childmag.co.za and under resources click on health care practitioners.

proved to be a good choice for two people. If anyone wishes to make use of our experience on the canals in planning a cruise, they can contact me on cheetah@ telkomsa.net Alastair Johnstone

I’m a mom of two girls, aged seven and five. I’ve been reading Child magazine for a while now. It’s just so much easier now to be able to access the content on the go.

Siphokazi Tchalieu

left-hand woes My left-handed daughter tires easily when writing, and often has an aching hand and fingers. Exams and tests are the worst, because she struggles to finish within the allocated time. Shouldn’t these children be given extra time to complete their tasks? Teachers must also remember to seat a left-handed child on the left side of a two-seater desk.

Anonymous

child magazine on the net

control internet access all-in-one magazine There is no doubt at Saheti School that your publication is superb. The articles are highly informative, the layout of your pages are stylish and our parents and staff simply love reading it.

Christine Papademetriou I just picked up the latest copy of Child magazine and am so thrilled to have found such a wonderful resource to get entertainment, education, décor and other fun ideas. My daughter is turning two shortly, and I am amazed at all the creative things available out there.

Kim Bower Thank you so much to your team for providing us with such a fantastic magazine. You are one of my trusted resources when it comes to parenting issues, always helping me realise that I am not alone in this wonderful experience of raising children. We have a five-year-old

I would like to share my horrific story. A fellow classmate has sexually abused my eight-year-old daughter on play dates. It came to our attention that this girl has been accessing porn via internet searches at home and then role-playing on my daughter. Due to negligent parents, this child has now infringed on my child’s rights. My daughter is going for therapy because she is extremely uncomfortable and anxious. Please parents, pay attention.

Anonymous

thanks for the donation On behalf of all involved in the Xanthia Library Project, I would like to extend an enormous thank-you to Child magazine for the generous donation of books. Also, thank you for the advert placed in the magazine. It created so much awareness about our project and the response from your readers has been fantastic.

Nicola

write to us childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit

You can also post a comment online at

and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our

childmag.co.za

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to: marina@

readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

magazine cape town

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August 2012

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wins

giveaways in august toddler talks The Pediasure Toddler Sense seminars cover important issues for raising your toddler, including potty training, discipline, nutrition and more. Ann Richardson, author of Toddler Sense, is joined by guest speakers. Contact: 082 467 8236, bookings@toddlersense.co.za or visit toddlersense.co.za One reader stands a chance to win a Pediasure hamper, parenting books, a Toptots hamper and two tickets to the Toddler Sense Seminar in October, all valued at R3 500. Simply enter via childmag. co.za/wins-ct and use the code “Toddler Sense CT”. Your details will be made available to Toddler Sense.

art and craft Clay Café Ceramic Painting is a creative venue for children and parents. Children get the opportunity to create unique crockery, while parents can sit back and relax. It is an ideal venue for parties or school outings. Contact: 021 790 3318 or visit claycafe.co.za or facebook.com/ClayCafeHoutBay Two readers stand a chance to each win a party for 15 children, including painting and party boxes, valued at R1 275 each. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-ct and use the code “Clay Café CT”. Your details will be made available to Clay Café.

make room

special memories

The Room specialises in classic, functional furniture that fits in anywhere in the home. Their range of quality children’s furniture is hand-painted to make touch-ups easy. A popular item is the table and chair set that gives children a place of their own. Contact: 074 843 7666, info@theroom.co.za or visit theroom.co.za One reader stands a chance to win a children’s table and chair set from The Room, valued at R2 430. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-ct and use the code “The Room CT”. Your details will be made available to The Room.

Edugrafix’s unique expandable albums provide parents with a fun, easy way to capture their children’s keepsakes and memories. The My First Years and My School Years albums provide space for photos, certificates, reports and titbits. Albums are available in 13 colours, English or Afrikaans and can be personlised. For more info: 012 361 3576 or visit edugrafixalbums.com Four readers stand a chance to each win a prestige expandable My School Years album, valued at R550.

Enter via childmag.co.za/wins-ct and use the Code “Edugrafix CT”. Your details will be made available to Edugrafix.

to enter simply visit childmag.co.za

or post your entry to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Entries close 31 August 2012. Only one entry per reader.

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August 2012

stylish comfort Hush is a stylish range of girls’ clothing. Geared towards girls two to 12 years old, the range uses beautiful, soft cottons and voiles for comfort and elegance. There is a showroom in Cape Town, nationwide stockists or you can shop online. Contact Robyn: 083 303 5747 or visit hushclothing.co.za Four readers stand a chance to each win a Hush voucher, to the value of R500. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-ct and use the code “Hush CT”. Your details will be made available to Hush.

congratulations to our June winners Angela Heath, Jayne Alexander, Karien Cherry, Jean Luyt and Minau Wegner who each win a Babaderm hamper; Anthea Baroutsos, Fiona Snyman, Razia Hisham and Maryam van der Schyff who each win a Sticky Fudge wardrobe; Rene Bowker Vanessa Stemmet, Simone Thomas and Sondré Roberts who each win CDs from Revelation Generation and Wanita Goodwin who wins a Beatrix Potter book hamper from Penguin. The 25 readers who each won a month’s supply of SupaChewz from Arctic Health have been notified.

magazine cape town

magazine cape town

August 2012

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health

The proposed dangers of parabens may be the product of paranoia or there may be some truth to the tale, but only time and science will tell. By LUCILLE KEMP

fter asking one of the most discerning people I know when last they consciously bought a paraben-free product and I got the answer, “Never. I only heard about parabens three months ago,” I was intrigued to find out more about this fear of the preservative found in makeup, moisturisers, hair care products, shaving products, and deodorants and antiperspirants.

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA), an independent agency responsible for protecting and promoting US public health through regulating and supervising everything from foods to cosmetics, received inquiries on the safety of parabens, and after an investigation, went on record stating, “Parabens are the most widely used preservatives in cosmetic products to safeguard against microbial growth, meant to protect consumers and to maintain product integrity.”

so what of it, then?

Parabens brought about controversy when research revealed that these preservatives were found in breast cancer tumours. Some studies found that parabens have the ability to mimic a weak form of oestrogen, a hormone known to play a role in the development of breast cancer.

There’s also been concern that the oestrogen-mimicking aspect of parabens may be a factor in the increasing occurrence of early puberty in girls.

Investigations have refuted these claims and this stance was backed by the American National Cancer Institute. The

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FDA says, “Studies and reviews on the safety of parabens used in cosmetics have been conducted over the years, with particular research being carried out in December 2005 to assess the safety for women and infants being exposed to parabens, and it was determined in all these instances that parabens are safe for use in cosmetics.”

Perhaps this is true, but many researchers refer to the research as “ongoing”, leaving enough room for concern to grow. The continuous need to review the facts through safety assessments dating as far back as 1984 to as recently as 2008, may seem like a smoking gun for many.

There are, however, no natural alternatives that can do the job that parabens do. Parabens are widely used simply because they’re effective, and they’re cheap and reliable, having been used for many years.

Perusing the South African National Regulator for Compulsory Specification’s (NRCS) website, there seems to be no red flag declared on parabens nor does it come up on Cansa’s watchdog list of dangerous substances.

Professor Michael C Herbst of Cansa confirms this, saying, “Cansa’s research operations committee has not yet accepted a position statement on parabens.”

control what you can Given that medical research has us constantly progressing, seeing to it that we know more today than we did yesterday, we may be correct in inquiring. While you might

be called alarmist, you’re certainly within your rights to take precautions. Cape Town-based pharmacist Peter Kruger says while there are currently no alarm bells ringing over the presence of parabens, there is awareness out there. “It is in the legislation that companies list their ingredients, so read the labels and look for parabens in the products that you buy and avoid them if it makes you feel comfortable to do so. There are many retailers that prefer to stock natural, preservative-free products.”

In the same token, as parabens aren’t officially harmful, make informed decisions when buying so you can be sure you’ve not been duped by clever marketing tools.

what to look for The most common parabens found in cosmetics are butylparaben, ethylparaben, heptylparaben, methylparaben and propylparaben.

further reading • NRCS visit nrcs.org.za • FDA visit fda.gov • Journal of Applied Toxicology visit onlinelibrary.wiley.com

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

a

fact or folklore?

upfront with paul

synergy PAUL KERTON says that harsh discipline is not needed when you install that moral compass and practice what you parent.

t PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

he mere word “discipline” is negative.

The very need to administer it suggests bad behaviour on the part of the child and lack of control from the parents. But there is good discipline – the setting of achievable moral and practical standards, and bad discipline. Bullying Victorian house masters stalking quadrangles in dark cloaks, brandishing canes and lashing out at measly minded pupils are long gone; now it’s the polar opposite – an acute lack of any discipline that has created a rash of lawless classrooms where little teaching is going on.

As parents we need to lay out the rules of the game as determined by our particular household, age, culture and religion, and let our children know why these are important. Once they can hold

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a proper thought, children need, and deserve, to know why they shouldn’t do something and should do something else.

Most of us use an arsenal of tried and tested psychological tricks to squeeze the best out of our children – a ruthless cocktail of telling-off, blackmail, light humiliation, threats to remove privileges and the sympathy ploy: “You made Daddy feel sad”. Teachers are advised to praise the positives and suggest smart alternatives to mischievous behaviour, although good old-fashioned detention still works. It is telling that we are keen to say “No” and “Don’t” but forget praise when a child does good, and I don’t mean just winning a race. A comment like: “Thanks for being so patient with your sister”, shows you noticed and genuinely appreciated it.

The best route is to instil respect for people and property (and themselves) by providing a loving, trusting, kind family environment from the word go, with yourself, hopefully, as role model. Children are watching and imitating everything you do, so it is no surprise that the child who hits and scratches at school, experiences heavy manners at home, whether from siblings or parents. Many a preschool play session reveals alarming as well as pleasing domestic scenarios to the teacher.

I don’t buy it, but some experts feel we should never punish, although any punishment should certainly fit the crime and the age. You can’t tell a 15 year old to go and sit in the naughty chair, but you can stop them from going to their BF’s party at a nightclub... which also illustrates

how you as a parent need to adapt your parenting style as children get older.

And while you might need to scream at a toddler to stop them wandering into traffic or striding towards a hot flame, that should be followed by a big hug, not a slap across the legs, and an explanation (at any age, for that matter), that you shouted because you cared for their safety.

You can’t fault children for singlemindedly wanting to do what they want to do and exerting their personality and influence over any situation. It is, after all, the survival of the fittest. Children generally are intrinsically good and want to please. They just need a sensible road map.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad 2: From Walking to Talking (... and Beyond).

August 2012

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best for baby

big enough for a big-boy bed KIM MAXWELL explores whether there is a right time to move your child from a cot to a bed,

m

odern parenting dictates that as soon as we’ve mastered the transition from babies to toddlers, we’re allowed a short reprieve to be entertained by our blossoming little people, before we’re subtly pressured by fellow parents or family members to think about the next milestones. For toddlers, these include building vocabulary, mastering fine and gross motor skills and the biggies: tantrums, toilet training and moving from a baby cot to a big bed.

each baby is different As a parent to a happy 20-month-old son, I haven’t given much thought to the timeline for our move. We have a bed available, but my son is a good sleeper who

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seems comfy in his wooden cot. Also, his cosy extra-length baby sleeping bag keeps his body covered, but it would be impractical in a single bed. Joburg-based midwife Barbara Constantinou says that weighing up the individual needs of a toddler is important when making the move. Children’s and family’s habits aren’t universally alike. “From a year onwards children are fine to switch to a bed, but there‘s no rush,” she says. Possible triggers that spur on the move to a bed include the imminent arrival of a sibling, or a toddler that outgrows their cot or becomes more adventurous about climbing out. “A lot of bigger babies have sleeping problems because they turn and knock into the sides of the cot, waking themselves up. If they

have problems sleeping, rather move them to a bed.”

Constantinou says babies can sleep in cots until they are two years old if they are comfortable and sleep through the night. “But many two-year-olds can pull themselves right up from the sides of their cots, and might try to balance on their soft toys to get out,” she cautions.

smooth move Do move your child to a big bed if your family is expanding, but plan in advance.

Constantinou suggests making the transition two to six months before the arrival of a new baby, to ensure the older child feels settled. “If they’re under three years old, it should take less time to adapt.

But if the child is three years or older with a sibling on the way, they could be jealous of being kicked out of their bed for a new baby.” Another good time to move your child to a bed is if the family is moving house. “This is a good time to introduce a new routine as they’re going to be unsettled anyway,” says Constantinou.

Toddlers crave predictability, so maintaining a consistent bedtime pattern is important to ease them into the new bed.

Durban-based mother of two Tamsin Laight moved her son into a bed between the age of 16 and 18 months when he outgrew his cot. “He was more comfortable there, and excited about being in a bigboy bed,” she recalls. She used bed rails with both her children. Tamsin’s daughter

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PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

and what can make the transition easier.

Ella moved to a bed when she was just over one year old, as they didn’t have space to store both a cot and a bed in the room. In retrospect, Tamsin believes her daughter wasn’t emotionally ready.

“Ethan took a few nights to settle properly, and we haven’t had a problem since. Ella, on the other hand, took a few months to finally stop climbing out of her bed at night. We just kept putting her back; never in our bed, otherwise she wouldn’t get the message. I don’t know if the age difference or their different personalities caused that behaviour,” she says.

Durban-based nursing midwife Kerry Hodgson says toddlers should be sleeping through the night before the move. “It’s much easier to do sleep training in a cot than trying to sleep train and settle your child into a big bed at the same time, when they can get out of bed and come looking for you,” she warns. Make moving a happy event for your toddler; allow them to help select new bedding in their favourite theme by all means, but keep some familiar blankets or toys in the new environment.

Buying a big-bed sleep toy for the transition is another option. “Children are amazing in

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what they understand at this age so don’t ignore them during the process,” reminds Hodgson. “Explain in detail how things are going to work. Establish ground rules around waking up – do they come through to your bedroom or call you?”

And if you need to delay the big bed for practical reasons – your children are sharing a room temporarily and there isn’t space for two beds, don’t stress. Find an age-appropriate solution that’s a good

fit with your family’s living arrangements.

“If something is working for you, there’s no reason to change it and mess it up,” says Constantinou. “Only when you notice your child behaving differently, or their actions impact on others, do you have to make changes.”

safe and sound For your peace of mind, pushing the bed against the wall on one side is a

sensible and practical consideration, but Constantinou doesn’t believe special safety rails are worth spending money on.

“Children get their bearings quickly in a new bed. I’d just prop up pillows initially or push an old mattress near the bed. It takes three or four nights for most children to learn not to fall out,” she says. “Some moms worry that their toddlers are going to get out of bed, but that’s about setting boundaries around what is acceptable behaviour. Parents need to put their child back in bed, and repeat it until they learn.”

Hodgson says most children move to a bed between 18 months and two-and-ahalf years, and she is a fan of installing bed rails. “Moms come to me for consults until their children are two years old, and my cotto-bed advice is quite individual because I see moms as individuals,” she says.

for professional help For baby routine therapists that can help you in the comfort of your own home, visit, childmag. co.za/resources/home-help

August 2012

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dealing with difference

mean gene LISA LAZARUS discusses the recently

f

or Tamsyn*, the most frustrating thing about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is “that feeling of your head never quite switching off.”

She should know. Like her 13-year-old son, this stay-athome Pretoria mother of two children, aged 16 and 13, also has ADHD, though Tamsyn was only diagnosed as an adult. Tamsyn knew from early, probably around the time her son started pre-school, that he suffered from ADHD. “This may sound presumptuous,” she says, “to know so soon, but I grew up in a house with an older sister who was diagnosed with ADHD. My folks didn’t simply put this down to middle-child syndrome or to being difficult or insolent. Instead, from the outset, they found help for her.”

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making the connection Although she initially believed that the condition had passed her by, Tamsyn realised that this wasn’t the case when she started doing intense therapy with her son. She says: “They asked him, ‘do you count things in your head?’ and I answered ‘Yes’ for myself. After that, I started doing some research.” Looking back on her own childhood, a lot of things make more sense now – for example, the frustration of not being able to finish a task immediately.

According to the Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Support Group of Southern Africa (Adhasa), between eight percent and 10 percent of the South African population have ADHD – a term used to include ADD (Attention Deficit

Disorder) as well. The disorder appears to be almost twice as prevalent amongst boys as girls.

Mental health practitioners differentiate between three sub-types of ADHD: • predominantly inattentive with little or no sign of impulsivity and hyperactivity; • predominantly impulsive and hyperactive with little or no attention difficulties; • t he combined type – distractible, hyperactive and impulsive.

an “Aha!” moment In 2010, The Lancet, a medical journal, claimed to have found a genetic link to ADHD. Those with ADHD, they

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

discovered genetic link to ADHD.

said, had more chromosomal structural abnormalities, specifically more copy-number variants. In other words, on certain chromosomes, genetic material had either been deleted or duplicated. Dr Lynda Albertyn, child psychiatrist and head of the Child, Adolescent and Family Unit at Johannesburg Hospital, adds that even before the growing genetic evidence, which has been reported in the journals for several years now, there was convincing evidence from twin and adoption studies that ADHD is largely inherited.

Nine-year-old Tom* has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and so does his mother Helen, a graphic and fashion designer who lives in Port Elizabeth with her three children.

Like her son, Helen would go “into a daze and then wake up in a panic” at school. Frequently, teachers would report that she was not applying herself and was capable of more.

“I know what it’s like for Tom with the kind of daily battles he has to face at school,” she says. Yet Helen has made great strides with Tom: she has changed his medication (overly high doses of Ritalin were making him depressed, weepy and paranoid), she moved him to a more nurturing school and found two mentors to motivate him – Richard Branson and reality TV personality Ty Pennington, who also suffer from ADHD. According to Jessica Cheesman, a recent Masters graduate from the University of Cape Town, studies show that the average heritability of ADHD is 0.75. That means that approximately 75 percent of the cause of this disorder is genetic. During Jessica’s research on how mothers of children with ADHD experience stress, she found that many moms had an “Aha!” moment about their own mental health when their children received their ADHD diagnosis. “Often mothers would express how they saw features of themselves in their children, and this gave them some solace in their child’s diagnosis,” she says.

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The argument in The Lancet, however, has come under some fire. The BBC’s online medical correspondent Fergus Walsh says: “There is a danger in reading too much into The Lancet’s new research on attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.” Supposedly, children with ADHD were “twice as likely to have chunks of DNA missing or duplicated.” However, drilling down into the numbers, around 15 percent of the ADHD children actually had the genetic variant – in other words, 85 percent did not, which “hardly justifies confident assertion that ADHD is a genetic disease.”

In response, Professor Thapar, the spokesperson for the research, said that the study aimed to remove the stigma associated with ADHD. The condition “could not be dismissed as being down to bad parenting or poor diet.”

does your child have ADD/ADHD? Attention Deficit Disorder: • Often fails to pay close attention to details or makes careless mistakes.

• Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or activities.

• Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.

• Often does not follow through on instructions.

• Often has difficulty organising tasks and activities.

• Often avoids tasks that require sustained attention.

• Often loses things necessary for tasks.

• Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli.

• Is forgetful in daily activities.

getting a handle on it Albertyn states that there is promising research on the effects of the environment on genes. “Certain environmental factors such as birth damage or an adverse childhood can act on genetic vulnerabilities, which then lead to the development of a disorder. So, someone with a genetic predisposition for ADHD, who has firm and structured parenting, will manifest fewer symptoms than a child with the same genetic predisposition who is raised in a chaotic household.”

Despite the fact that the cause of ADHD is complex – most probably a subtle blending of genetics and the environment – parents of children who suffer from ADHD may benefit from looking at their own childhood. It’s possible that they will identify with what their children are experiencing. *Names have been changed.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: • Often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat.

• Often leaves seat in classroom or other situations.

• Often runs or climbs excessively in situations where it is inappropriate to do so.

• Often has difficulty playing quietly.

• Is often “on the go” or often acts as if “driven by a motor”.

• Often talks excessively.

• Often blurts out answers before questions have been completed.

• Often has difficulty waiting their turn.

• Often interrupts or intrudes on others.

• Often engages in dangerous activities.

From the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition.

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parenting

naughty or needy?

From biting and bossing to lying and cheating, our children’s behaviour can embarrass us, and worse. What should we do about it, asks GLYNIS HORNING, and when should we worry?

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Hurting, bossing, lying, stealing – all inappropriate behaviour that seems especially disturbing in children, who we think of as innocent and sweet, yet is common.

“In the early years especially, children can struggle to separate fantasy from reality and accept family and social rules,” says Patricia Tau, an educational psychologist in Brakpan. They are self-absorbed and can’t always express or control emotions and impulses.

Is it hormones, or have I raised a delinquent?

Thankfully, with the right guidance and maturity most grow out of it, says Tau and Durban clinical psychologist Ros Lowry agrees. “The key is to understand the reasons behind it and find and model appropriate ways to deal with it,” says Lowry.

hurting: biting, hitting, pinching Why they do it: Children between four and seven months often bite simply because they are teething and it feels good. They are too young to grasp the difference between chomping on a toe or a toy, says Tau. At around 12 months they discover cause and effect, and biting, hitting or pinching can be a way to get attention. This may also be a way to express anxiety or anger, she says, such as when they are separated from their mothers. For toddlers, who are learning independence, these behaviours can also be a way to control others – to make them move, or give them the toy they want. Older children using them tend to have trouble expressing feelings in words and asking for help.

They may also be acting out to relieve stress from family conflict, bullying, abuse, moving home or a death.

What you can do: “Never shout or lash out; it makes things worse,” says Tau. Comfort the victim then turn to the biter, speaking firmly but calmly. Just tell a baby “No”, and remove

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

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still recall the day a friend’s toddler sidled up to my sleeping four-month-old and sank his teeth into one plump pink toe. My son’s yowls were soon drowned by the toddler’s as my outraged friend planted several sharp smacks on his behind. “We don’t” – SMACK! – “hurt” – SMACK! – “people!” she admonished him. The contradiction between her words and actions stayed with me, raising a rueful smile.

Ten years on, her toddler had turned into a teen of distinctly bossy bent, who on his last visit reduced my quiet, easy-going son to seething frustration by dominating every game and insisting on having his way.

Later his mother called, voice tight with tension.

“Did your boy give Max* two music DVDs and a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards?” she asked.

A quick check showed them missing from his room.

“I don’t know what to do,” she sighed. “Is it hormones, or have I raised a delinquent?”

them from their victim. Look a toddler in the eye and say: “It’s not okay to bite/pinch/hit; it hurts.” Lead them away by the wrist and let them cool down for a few minutes. “There needs to be a consequence to any negative behaviour, a time-out or taking something away from the child,” says Lowry. “And whatever your family chooses, it needs to be consistent.” Explain to your child that you love them, but what they did was unacceptable. Give a hug and move on.

Best prevention: Be sure to notice good behaviour and reward it with attention. “Children have an emotional need to be acknowledged, heard and understood, and would rather have negative attention from being reprimanded or even physically punished than no attention,” says Lowry.

“Reward systems such as star charts are a great form of positive reinforcement that young children usually enjoy; they contribute to your child’s sense of competency and selfesteem.” If the behaviour stems from stress (divorce, moving home, death), provide the security of a predictable routine.

Teach children to recognise and name their feelings, and express them appropriately using words, exercise, sport, dance or art. Explain: “It’s okay to be afraid, sad or angry; it’s never okay to hurt others.” If deliberate hurting continues, get professional help. (See “when should you worry?”)

dominating: bossing, bullying Why they do it: Domineering behaviour can come from an absence of authority, where a parent is away often or

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abdicates the leadership role. The oldest child or the one with the strongest personality will often play this part with siblings. This may not be a problem if the child has balance and maturity, but without these the child may use bossing and bullying. Busy, working parents or single parents can come to rely on the bossy child to keep order and may be reluctant to rein them in, leaving younger children feeling unprotected, cautions Tau. Bossing and bullying can also stem from authoritarian parenting – a child who feels dominated can vent feelings of resentment, helplessness, anger or fear by dominating others, she says. Bossiness is often a sign of insecurity, but sometimes it simply signals an assertive personality. If you help shape it, it can give your child useful leadership skills. But left unchecked it will alienate others and cost your child friends.

What you can do: If a child or adolescent is trying to run your family, even if you are a single parent and secretly welcome it, give them clear, consistent boundaries.

“Boundaries make a child feel safe and secure,” says Lowry. Tell them, “You’re a great help, but you’re not a parent, you’re my child.” If the rules are broken, enforce them quickly and calmly.

Best prevention: Watch interactions with siblings or during playdates, and if your child always dominates, take her aside and explain they could lose friends and respect.

Have a signal such as tapping her arm. Explain and calmly enforce the need to consider others’ feelings and

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parenting

needs, to ask nicely, take turns, and to not always have to win. Above all, says Lowry, model them yourself.

deceiving: lying, stealing, cheating Why they do it: Children under three years old don’t deliberately deceive, says Tau. They are experimenting with words, and may lie to avoid punishment, but they don’t fully appreciate the difference between “yours” and “mine” when they take things and have yet to develop a moral code. Three to six years is the age of imaginary play, and children may make things up as part of this rather than intentionally deceiving. They’re beginning to respect things that belong to others, but may take or trade them without being aware of their real value. From around seven years old, children generally know lying and stealing is wrong and can be strictly moralistic, but may do it anyway to test adults’ limits or to copy other children or fit in with them.

Lying, stealing or cheating often signals that they feel insecure or inferior, says Tau. They may not be receiving the praise or attention they need, and may be afraid of not measuring up, and try to “buy” status or affection. They may also be depressed, she says, stealing to vent feelings of fear, anger or guilt over family conflict, poor school performance or losing a loved one.

What you can do: After age three it’s important to confront your child, says Tau. “Don’t overreact, simply say: ‘You’re not allowed to take what’s not yours,’ or it

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August 2012

can become a habit.” Focus on uncovering their reasons and work with them on those. If they lie to avoid a chore or punishment, stick to the punishment and explain it would have been lighter had they been honest. If they steal to keep up with or impress friends, have them return the item and apologise, and give appropriate punishment.

Tell them, “We treasure trust and honesty.” Explain that values don’t rest on material possessions. Talk about what your family can afford, and help them budget, save or do chores or jobs to earn something they truly want, says Tau. Best prevention: It’s ironic that lying, cheating and even stealing is often rooted in children not wanting to disappoint us. “Make sure your expectations are realistic and that you aren’t being too pushy, looking to them to meet your needs,” Tau says. Tell them often that you love them no matter what, and that you value the effort they put into things more than the end result. When they make mistakes, break things or fail tests, don’t berate them. Calmly help them sort out the problem, help them understand what went wrong and learn from it. When they own up to something, tell them you admire their honesty and courage. Above all, model these qualities yourself.

If you’re caught speeding, let them see you admit it, apologise and accept the fine with good grace. If a cashier gives too much change, let them see you return it. And tell them how good it feels to do the right thing. * Name has been changed.

when should you worry?

“It’s important to sift out what is developmentally appropriate behaviour from what is inappropriate,” says psychologist Ros Lowry. “The best advice is to trust your parental intuition – when things don’t feel right, they usually aren’t, and it’s useful to get the opinion of a professional who works with children.” Difficult behaviours may be symptomatic of underlying feelings or emotional difficulties that they don’t know how to express or that don’t make sense to them, she says. But if the behaviour is accompanied by the following, it can indicate depression or psychological problems, and you should speak to your doctor, school counsellor or a psychologist: • tearfulness, anxiety • irritation, anger • sleep problems • change in appetite or weight • hyperactivity • few or no friends • skipping school • shoplifting • damaging property • hurting animals

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blog

twice as lucky CLAUDIA EICKER-HARRIS says her daughter has no qualms explaining why she has two moms.

Illustrations: shutterstock.com

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s the child of a same-sex couple, our daughter is quite often confronted with unusual questions.

I’ve been astounded to hear her answer some of these with confidence and aplomb on many occasions.

When she was just three, one of her friends asked her why she has two moms. She smirked and said, “Because I’m lucky.” That night we had to have the twomoms chat again, just as a refresher. And then, the other day, one of the trickiest ones came flying at her and, at four and a half (or, as she insists, four and three quarters), she handled it beautifully. As we sat enjoying a milkshake with friends, their son (seven and six eighths) said, “If one of your moms was your dad, who would it be?”

She thought about this, took a long slurp of her milkshake, nodded sagely and then launched into the following explanation: “Well, Mom has shorter hair so it

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might be her, but when they got married they both had long hair, so no it wouldn’t be her. Mama is taller, so maybe she would be the dad, but she’s not as strong as Mom. Mom grew me in her tummy, but Mama wears lots of dresses. Mom is naughtier and she always drives when we go on holiday so she could be the dad, but Mama isn’t scared of snakes and spiders, so it might be her...”

Then she stopped, looked at the little boy and, very sympathetically and as though he were a little slow, she said, “But you do know that they’re both girls, hey?”

He said he did. “Well then, they couldn’t be dads could they, because they don’t have...”, and you know how that one ended.

A couple of weeks ago, a different seven-yearold boy asked my daughter why she doesn’t have a dad. “Because I have two moms,” she said again and carried on drawing. Then she repeated the two-moms briefing that she’s had to so often. “Some people have two moms, some people have two dads, some people have a mom and no dad, some people have a dad and no mom, some people haven’t got any parents, some people have two dads and two moms because their

parents got unmarried and then got married again to someone else, some people...” At this point, just as his eyes were glazing over, something in the little boy clicked and he said, “Yes, and some people have one dad and, like, four moms.”

They both turned and looked expectantly at me.

I have to admit that I did skip a beat. But then I said, “Yes, and that’s called polygamy.” Satisfied, they carried on with their drawing. A few seconds later, the little boy said, almost to himself, “That pygmy man must go out a lot to get away from all the talking.” And for the millionth time since our divine daughter came along, I realised that children just need an answer – an honest answer.

No more, no less. By the way, although it’s not common, there is such a thing as pygmy polygamy.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

August 2012

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education

RUTH REHBOCK reminds us how wonderfully stimulating fairytales, old and new, are for our children.

they learn as they dream “Children need to be encouraged to develop fantasy as part of their intellectual and social development; imaginative play is crucial because it enables children to be creative,” says Durban-based educational psychologist Tammy Brink Styles. “Creative thought in turn enhances mental resourcefulness and language development, which enables them to articulate inner thoughts and feelings.” This, she says, is critical, as it allows children to develop a sense of mastery over their world.

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Phillipa Warren, a teacher from Milkwood Pre-Primary School in Fish Hoek, explains that the children in her Grade R class have already been exposed to traditional fairytales such as the fantasy and adventure stories by Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl or Julia Donaldson who wrote The Gruffalo and Room on the Broom, and don’t want to hear them read aloud at school. But, the experts say, we must realise these stories are still a valuable part of our cultural and literary heritage, and can illustrate good values and behaviour. Brink Styles adds that these stories must be mediated by parents.

“We have to choose appropriate tales for our children, considering their age and level of development, and we have to make sure they know these are fantasy and not reality. But don’t burst the bubble completely. Let them believe wishes come true and good always triumphs in a story,” she says.

Brink Styles says you can start reading fairytales to a child as young as 18 months, even if you only read a page and start talking about the story instead. “I love Aesop’s Fables because its simplicity means children of three years and even younger can enjoy them according to their level of understanding. With preschoolers you can often take their lead, but make sure you have read the story first to see whether it will be upsetting in any way,” says Warren.

a creative spin on learning There are simple ways in which you can deal with the more frightening, violent aspects of fairytales. Lindsay Grubb from Joburg usually tones down these aspects as her daughter is frightened by some of the characters in the original stories. “I changed Little Red Riding Hood as I read it to my daughter Ciara, who’s four; so the granny hid away from the wolf in the cupboard and the woodcutter chased the wolf away so he would never return.”

On the other hand, older children can find classic fairytales captivating and stimulating. Celia Fleming, mom to Jonathan, eight, and Daniel, six, who lives in Cape Town, says her children are quite intrigued by things like dwarves and wicked stepmothers and very often they end up chatting about these stepmothers. “When the scene is upsetting I hurry through it but in general I find fairytales are a good starting point for a discussion about evil or jealousy or how to behave in specific situations.”

Of course, there is also the argument that they teach traditional roles for men and women, which holds us back from reaching our potential. A few educators, however, have found creative ways to utilise these stories. “We use all sorts of stories to illustrate and instil the 7 Habits of Happy Kids and the 7 Habits of Highly Effective

People, both by Stephen Covey (Free Press), in order to develop every child’s potential, such as teaching skills like leadership and learning to be proactive,” says Jacky Bellon, librarian at King David Junior School in Linksfield, Joburg. For instance, The Little Red Hen is a good example of Habit no. 3, “Put first things first” or “Work first, then play”.

We have to keep in mind today’s children know so much more than we did at their age and have so much technological savvy that the enchantment of classic fairytales may just not be enough. It is still up to us, however, to inspire them with these humorous and interesting stories. Writers, film-makers and educators weave these archetypal characters into our contemporary culture through new stories like Tangled and books like Princess Smartypants (Putnam Publishing Group) by Babette Cole. The science fiction, and fantasy books and movies, if you think about it, illustrate many of our human endeavours in much the same way as classic fairytales do. Venturing into new territory, whether a dark forest or a mysterious planet, the adventure yields many of the same hurdles and personal growth experiences.

In the end it’s really a personal choice whether you read your children traditional or adapted fairytales, but remember that traditional tales have their origins mainly in Europe and Russia. Why not try a few alternatives, like folk tales from India, China, Japan and Africa (see “tales of a different kind”), where you will find similar studies of human behaviour, covering man’s interaction with nature and the battle between good and evil. In fact, if you look into any culture you will find human experience transmitted into oral tradition and later, written down as folk- and fairytales.

tales of a different kind • T he Lost Horse: A Chinese Folktale by Ed Young and Tracey Adams (Voyager Books, 2004) • The Berry Basket: Three African Folktales by Dinah M Mbanze (Kwela Books, 1999) • Elephant Prince: The Story of Ganesh by Amy Novesky and Belgin K Wedman (Mandala Publishing, 2004) • Nelson Mandela’s Favourite African Folktales

by Nelson Mandela (W W Norton & Company, 2007) • Peachboy: A Japanese Folktale by Eric Metaxas and Jeffrey Smith (Simon & Schuster, 1995) • T he Adventures of Spider: West African Folktales by Joyce Cooper Arkhurst and Jerry Pinkney (Little Brown Books for Young Readers, 1992)

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ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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was afraid of magicians and clowns, and of anything I couldn’t see or touch. Magic disturbed me, witches, dark forests and wicked stepmothers terrified me, and I was shocked by tales of children abandoned by their parents. Still, I had dreams of dressing up like a fairy or princess, and of being whisked away by my handsome prince one day. Those stories had a powerful influence on my ideas and beliefs about femininity and relationships.

Listening to friends and family, it seems that many of my generation were influenced by these fairytales.

Fortunately, today’s children who are enchanted by magic landscapes filled with talking animals, giants and fairy godmothers can have access to these tales in a re-worked format, which convey contemporary characters and popular storylines that are more relevant to our 21st-century culture.

New types of “fairytales” are created all the time, with writers and film-makers constantly reworking old tales that go way back in time, starting out as stories transmitted from generation to generation in the oral tradition.

Many parents today face a challenge: how do we encourage our children’s sense of wonder and belief in the mysterious and the magical, and promote a love of reading, while making sure they acknowledge and understand the difference between fantasy and reality?

The good news is that experts believe fairytales have a valuable and important role to play in childhood.

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August 2012

21

education

deal with it RUTH REHBOCK says that when your child tells you they don’t like their teacher, you’ll need to dig a little

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decided I wanted to study medicine at age 12 and cherished the dream until I found myself in Mrs McCarthy’s science class. She was impatient, strict and unforgiving and, worst of all, we had already heard the story of the flying watch – she had thrown a watch out of the window after a pupil had glanced at it in class. I was terrified of her; I didn’t always grasp what she was saying the first time round and I didn’t tell anyone how I felt or what was happening. My dream of becoming a doctor started to recede and I felt wretched. Looking back, I realise that if I had only voiced my feelings and asked for help, I might have achieved my goal.

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It’s quite disconcerting, after talking to other parents, to find out a few people had similar experiences – teachers leaving scars on their psyches in some cases, but luckily, times have changed. Now teachers and parents are encouraged to build a working relationship so that none of our children “fall through the cracks” at any stage of their school career.

One trick that makes parenting less stressful is not to over-identify with your child’s emotions when they start to have problems. Try to remain objective so you can soothe your child first and then find out the facts before taking action. Melanie Hartgill, an educational psychologist in

Joburg says, “Parents must take their children’s complaints about school seriously, but also realise this is a child’s reaction to an event. Young children, and sometimes even those in senior primary, can’t always identify exactly what has upset them. Nor do they always tell the truth. The way to look at the situation is to be the ‘psychologist’ in order to find out what’s really going on.”

start talking If your child comes home and says “I hate my teacher”, the best thing to do is start a conversation with your child and get as many details about the situation as possible. Ask for examples of the teacher’s behaviour – it shows your interest, that they are being heard, and it gives you an idea of what really happened.

Parents need to realise that “I hate my teacher” is very often a cry for attention.

If your child is battling with schoolwork, feels stressed or has problems socialising at school, they could express it in this way.

Annalene Drapala, who teaches Grade 4 at Sunlands Primary School in Cape Town, is aware this kind of statement usually masks more complex emotions. “Children are impulsive and spontaneous so they blurt out something that will hook you – and teachers are an easy target. It could mean a child feels isolated, is being bullied, or is really struggling with the work or school routine.”

Drapala, who’s been teaching for more than 25 years, says parents must dig deeper into what is upsetting their child.

“I once had a parent who said hurtful and damaging things to me instead of talking to me about their child who was very

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

deeper to find out what’s really going on.

sensitive and felt neglected at home. The child was crying out for love and attention because Mom was getting married for the second time.”

However, according to experts, you have to adapt your responses, depending on your child’s stage of development.

Young children, those in preschool and a little older too, don’t often say “I hate my teacher”, but if they do it’s a fairly serious thing, say the experts. “You have to act swiftly if a preschooler doesn’t want to go to school and complains of aches and pains or drags her feet in the mornings.

Go immediately and speak to the teacher.

Children of that age ought to enjoy going to school,” says Hartgill.

In junior primary your child could still use physical “ailments” to get out of going to school, but may also say things like “my teacher is mean” or “my teacher is stupid”.

“Remain calm, start a conversation with your child by getting details and targeting your questions,” says Hartgill. “If your child says ‘I hate my teacher’, ask what happened before the teacher was mean to her and what happened afterwards. In this way, you will hopefully find out what really occurred. Then you can calmly decide what to do next.” Don’t push your child to open up, either. Allow your child the space

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to talk when they feel the need to do so.

Bedtime might be a good time because they are relaxed.

In senior primary, however, it may prove easier to find out the real story. At this age a child is more likely to relay the facts, often with less emotion. However, it doesn’t let you off the hook – it’s always your responsibility to listen to all sides of the story. Remember, teachers want the best for your child, so support your child without undermining the teacher’s authority.

was really struggling with Grade 1 but told her mom the teacher “always picked on her”. “I found out my child didn’t have the skills she needed for Grade 1 and was actually anxious and depressed.

After consultation with the teacher and the principal we agreed to send her for extra lessons with her teacher, and for OT, to get her up to speed. With support from me she started to feel more confident and has passed Grade 1.”

make it work been there One mom got the facts as best she could from her five-year-old and was able to help her son. In the last year of preschool, he got very anxious about going to school because his teacher shouted a great deal in the classroom. “I asked my son why he thought she shouted a lot and he replied that she was cross with the naughty children,” says Lesley Morgan from Joburg. “I made sure he understood she wasn’t shouting at him because he works hard and is a good boy. This made him feel more confident and secure and he gradually became less and less anxious.”

Another mom, Annemarie Simpson from Pretoria, discovered her daughter

Hartgill says it’s imperative to give children the confidence to cope with difficult situations. “We need to empower our children; simply removing them from the problem doesn’t teach them to cope with

problems or difficult circumstances, which are really important life skills.”

“Research has shown that children who acquire the right skills to cope with tough situations grow up to be more successful than those who don’t,” says Hartgill. “It’s usually not a good idea to move a child to another class because the situation will most likely repeat itself. It’s much more constructive to find out what’s not working in the relationship first.”

Experts also advise parents not to upset any of the teachers at school. Go to the class teacher first, then the head teacher and so on; going straight to the principal will cause animosity. You can also enlist the help of a school counsellor to assist in resolving the situation.

digging deeper Children may have other issues when they say they hate their teacher. Some of the problems may include: • Struggling with work or homework.

• An overly critical or highly strung teacher.

• B ig changes in their life that cause high levels of anxiety – moving house, death of a family member, divorce.

• Low self-esteem.

• Being bullied or having been the victim of abuse in one form or another.

• Your child’s and teacher’s personalities clash.

August 2012

23

ideas

out-the-box lunches CHILD MAGAZINE asks some of our favourite South African chefs for their winning lunchbox ideas.

Bonello’s Biltong, Leek and Asparagus Quiche Justin Bonello chose to share his quiche recipe in particular because it’s so versatile and there are literally no rules. Also this particular flavour combo will double up as a clever coax to get them to eat their veggies. This recipe is from Justin’s latest cookbook Justin Bonello Cooks… for Friends (Penguin Books).

For the pastry crust • 300g flour • 4ml salt • 100g butter • A splash of water Mix it all up until you have a stiff dough. For an extra boost in protein, add half a cup of grated Parmesan to the mix. Once your dough is ready, grease a round baking tin with butter. Take a ball of the dough and press it down with your fingers until you have an even base all round and up the edges of the baking tin. Blind bake for 5

minutes at 180°C to set the pastry. This will prevent the pastry from going soggy when you add the custard mixture. To stop the pastry from rising while you’re blind baking it, weigh it down with dried beans. I didn’t have any, so I just used a couple of baby potatoes – so much of my cooking life is ’n boer maak ’n plan.

Filling • 3 free-range eggs • 250ml cream • 250ml milk • Pecorino cheese – grated • A bunch of asparagus • A couple of leeks – chopped • A handful of moist biltong – torn into pieces • Crushed salt and black pepper to taste

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until you’ve got a rich custard. Grate in a handful of pecorino cheese and mix it around loosely. (The pecorino has a lovely dark and salty flavour that goes well with the biltong, but if your children don’t enjoy strong flavoured cheese, substitute it for one they’ll prefer.)

Trim the asparagus stalks and cook for a couple of minutes in salted water. Drain off the hot water, and refresh the asparagus in iced water for a minute or two to stop them cooking before chopping them up. Add the asparagus and chopped leeks to the custard and then take a handful of moist biltong and sprinkle on top.

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Pour the custard into the blindbaked pastry case and bake it in the oven at 180°C for half an hour or until golden on top.

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When you think it’s cooked, you can do the wobble test to check if the custard has set. Take the quiche out of the oven with oven gloves and give it a gentle shake. If the centre wobbles, it needs more time in the oven. The quiche is ready when the custard is firm but not dry.

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This is delicious served warm or cold with a dollop of chutney.

Justin’s latest reality TV cooking series, Ultimate Braai Master, is airing on SABC 3 on Thursdays at 8pm from 13 September 2012.

Crack the eggs into a bowl, pour in the cream and milk, and whisk it up

Jane-Anne’s Little Tuna Salads The hook to Jane-Anne Hobbs’ winning idea is that there is not a single frothing and overwhelming green to be found in this salad. These neat, individual tuna salads convinced her own children to give green stuff a try, and they’ve become dedicated eaters of salads into their teens.

You can pack these pretty salad rings

with everything from carrot sticks and cheddar cubes to nuts, seeds and any other nutrient-packed food.

• 2 large free-range eggs • 1 English cucumber • Iceberg lettuce, torn into small pieces • A handful of cherry tomatoes, halved • A can of tuna, drained of its oil and flaked • 8 Calamata olives, destoned and halved • 75g feta cheese, cubed • Chives, finely snipped For the dressing: • 4 Tbsp (60ml) olive oil • Juice of a lemon • A pinch of salt • 1 tsp (5ml) honey First make the dressing: whisk all the ingredients together and set aside. Slide the eggs into gently boiling water and cook for 9 minutes. Remove the pot from the heat and set it under a trickling cold tap for 3 minutes.

1

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Rinse the cucumber and cut a 5mm horizontal slice off the long side to expose the flesh. Using a mandolin or sharp knife, cut the cucumber into very thin horizontal slices, each about 1–2mm thick. Cut any leftover cucumber into matchstick-sized pieces, and peel and quarter the eggs.

2

To assemble the first salad, place a large sheet of cling film on a dampened chopping board.

3

On top of the cling film place a metal food ring (if you don’t have one, cut off the bottom of the empty tuna tin and use that).

4

5

Firmly press the cucumber slice around the inside to form a circle (you

may need to use two overlapping slices, depending on the length of your cucumber).

Fill the cucumber ring with a mixture of lettuce, feta, cucumber sticks, tomatoes, tuna, olives, egg quarters and chives.

6

Now very gently slide the food ring up and off, and pull up the sides of the cling film to make a neat parcel. Repeat with the other three salads. If you’re serving these immediately, assemble the salads on individual plates (without the cling film) and trickle the dressing over them. If you’re sending these to school in a lunchbox, put a little dressing in a small tub so your child can dress the salad just before she eats it.

7

Makes 4 salads.

Jane-Anne Hobbs is a renowned, independent food blogger and released her first recipe book Scrumptious (Random House Struik Publishers) in July this year. It can be found at all good book stores. She has three children aged 13, 18 and 20 years old.

magazine cape town

Sandy’s Sports Lunchbox: Fillet Pasta Tip: This pasta salad is really delicious if the fillet is medium rare to start off with. It is equally great as a warm dish, if preferred.

Sandy Harper came up with a lunch perfect for the active, carbo-loading child with the massive appetite. While the pasta is a complex carbohydrate, the addition of the fillet and pesto provides valuable protein, and the lemon juice renders the fillet easy to digest, as the lemon partly breaks down the fibres in the meat.

• +/- 10 Rosa tomatoes sliced in half and marinated in a sprinkling of sugar, olive oil and a few chopped purple spring onions.

• Cooked penne, al dente, moistened with ready-made basil pesto. (Don’t be shy; the pesto adds huge value in terms of flavour and nutrition.)

• Parmesan shavings • Fresh rocket Combine basil pesto penne, with rosa tomatoes (use all the juice) and fillet. Top with shavings of Parmesan or feta cheese and fresh rocket.

Sandy authored The Lunchbox Book (New Holland), which is available on amazon.co.uk. She has two children, aged 13 and 16.

• Four or five ( +/- 250g) slices of left-over cold beef fillet – sliced into thin strips and drizzled with some fresh lemon juice, olive oil and seasoned with salt and pepper to taste

The Giggling Gourmet’s Lamb Wraps Jenny Morris has come up with the ultimate in leftovers for lunch. As stipulated in the recipe, you can take lamb out especially for a few lunches or you can use leftovers from a roast lamb as you’re clearing up after Sunday lunch.

As you’re busy cleaning, scoop up the lamb remnants; create, wrap and pack it in the lunchboxes and pop it in the fridge overnight.

The lamb • 1kg deboned leg of lamb, cut into 6 slices • Olive oil • Salt • Freshly ground black pepper • 1 Tbsp cumin seeds • 6 tortilla wraps The salad • 1 red onion, thinly sliced • 3 spring onions with tops, sliced • 2 cloves garlic, crushed • 1 medium English cucumber, cubed

• • • • • • •

Zest of 1 ripe lemon 1 green chilli, chopped (optional) ½ cup freshly chopped mint ½ cup freshly chopped coriander ½ cup freshly chopped flat leaf parsley Salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 cup Greek yoghurt

Rub the lamb slices with olive oil, season with salt and freshly ground black pepper, and press into the cumin seeds.

1

Heat a non-stick frying pan and add a little olive oil, sear the lamb slices on both sides, and cook till slightly pink.

Rest the meat and slice each of the 6 pieces thinly when the salad is ready.

2

Mix all the salad ingredients together and place onto a platter. Top with sliced lamb.

3

Warm the wraps in a dry pan, place them onto a wooden board and let everyone fill their own with lamb salad.

4

Serves 6

Jenny, the owner of CooksPlayground studio in Cape Town, is a Food Network host and her show is on DStv channel 185. Her third cook book, Cooking with Jenny Morris (Sunbird Publishers), is available at all good book stores.

magazine cape town

August 2012

25

parenting

harried no more Are you guilty of helicopter parenting, hovering over your child?

KIM MAXWELL asks you to take a moment to consider how you can create a happier outcome with a slower parenting approach.

hen the Smith family in Cape Town orders pizza, a sevenyear-old and his five-year-old brother walk into a busy pizzeria, place their order and hand over cash. The boys sit quietly in the waiting area where waiters sometimes chat to them. The older boy is physically protective, brotherly behaviour he doesn’t often display at home. When the pizza is ready the boys walk out with beaming smiles and their change, and get into the car. They feel grown up; unaware that mom Karen has observed them from afar.

On another occasion these boys have handed out flyers and answered questions about a community event they were involved in. They knocked on a few doors, spoke to mothers at a park, and to strangers inside a coffee shop. Again Karen watched from a safe distance.

to make decisions later in life. “Through over-protective parenting some children never get a chance to speak to a stranger, even if it’s ordering off a menu. I wanted to encourage my boys to be interactive and confident and to make decisions for themselves. It’s also important they learn that not all strangers are bad,” she says.

She reflects that many modern moms don’t allow their children to make any of their own decisions; they put clothes out for them, make their sandwiches, tell them what to order in a restaurant and say who they may or may not speak to. And because mom has always told them what to do, when they’re teenagers and are offered a drag on a cigarette, they’re more inclined to make the wrong choice.

it’s not easy, agreed

warming to the idea

In security-conscious South Africa it’s more common for parents to do the talking on behalf of their children. Yet Karen made a decision to empower her sons with small tasks, after reading how many children, especially boys, struggle

Karen’s approach is a form of slow parenting, a subtle backlash against the over-involved but well-intentioned “helicopter” parent who hovers, ready to assist with homework, interferes in squabbles and ferries their child to a host

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August 2012

of activities. Slow parents try to take a step back to consider the real needs of their child. Also called free-range parenting, it’s about encouraging children to develop physical talents and social skills at their own pace, not through treating them as projects that need to be packaged and managed. Characteristically, free-range parents sometimes take issue with the passiveness of television or limit toys, encouraging independence, interaction and free play outdoors.

The need to achieve is squeezing modern children into being busy from a young age, with parents believing it’s good for their development. Not so. British author and slow parenting advocate, Carl Honoré rethought his parenting style after his seven-year-old son showed an aptitude for art. Carl wanted to channel this talent but his son just wanted to draw, querying why grown-ups always take over. At that point, Honoré silenced his inner hyperparent and started researching. “We are doing a great disservice to our children by pushing them so hard to learn things earlier

and earlier, and by keeping them so busy.

They need time and space to slow down, to play, to be children,” he says. Honoré and his wife now resist the temptation to enrol their children in multiple extramurals, limit computer time and they try not to push academic learning too early.

balanced approach Cape Town consulting school counsellor and author of Children Need Boundaries, Anne Cawood, says the number of helicopter parents is increasing. She says there is a tendency to be either of the two extremes – the over-controlling and over-protective parent or a parent that is too permissive with their children. A balance of styles is needed with rules, boundaries and limits in place. Allowing children age-appropriate choices is important. They learn to be strong by dealing with consequences. “If a twoyear-old bites another toddler, mom and dad will be close by to intervene.

If a 10-year-old has a squabble with a friend, hopefully the parents will be good listeners and say: ‘Gosh I can see that was hard for you,’ without rushing to solve it,” says Cawood. magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

w

A balance of styles is needed with rules, boundaries and limits in place. Allowing children age-appropriate choices is important. They learn to be strong by dealing with consequences.

magazine cape town

August 2012

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parenting

Cawood says too much free-range parenting can instil insecurity, whether dealing with toddlers or teenagers. “It’s about saying to children: this is the rule.

If we don’t put away toys we won’t watch TV. Or if we fight with that child we won’t be invited to their party.”

Many South Africans feel more secure if their children are supervised, or play with friends in enclosed complexes while our own childhoods were spent riding bikes to neighbours and causing mischief. It’s easy to blame crime for children’s lack of independence. New York mother Lenore Skenazy was labelled the “worst mom in America” for allowing her nine-year-old daughter to ride the subway alone. Author of a book about raising self-reliant children, Skenazy is a fan of children’s safety in the form of helmets, seat belts and car

at school, tennis privately, and attends one art and crafts class. We haven’t added piano lessons as well,” she says. At tennis practice, Nina, overheard another mother express her frustration that the coach still hadn’t taught the children how to serve. “She seemed only interested in her child playing tennis to perfect the game. But what is important is that they’re participating and having fun.”

When spending time with your children, it’s important to remember the difference between encouragement and praise. “We encourage the process; we praise the outcome. In childhood the process is far more important than the outcome,” reminds Bush. Nina’s son loves indoor wall climbing with tightropes and Tarzan swings at varying heights. “One day he asked me to go up with him, but at one point I became quite

Lenore Skenazy is a fan of children’s safety in the form of helmets, seat belts and car seats, but doesn’t believe they need “a security detail” every time they walk outside. seats, but doesn’t believe they need “a security detail” every time they walk outside.

“Otherwise the message the children get is that they’re too vulnerable to be alone or to do things without their parents’ help,” she says. Skenazy says parents should train and then trust their children to make the right decisions with strangers. Cawood says that parents need to learn to let their children go, knowing they’ve taken precautions such as car seats or contact numbers. “You don’t want to instil anxiety in your children through your own anxieties,” she adds.

letting them be Joburg work-from-home and single parent Nina Ligeti focuses on sports participation, and on not over-scheduling her eight-year-old son. “He said he wanted to play tennis. So now he does one sport

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anxious,” Nina recalls. “He went ahead, and then told me that when I crossed to the other side he’d give me a big love. It was so nice he could see me struggling, and encouraged me to work through it. I want him to understand that failure is okay as long as he gets up and tries again.”

So what should parents do to slow down? “There is no single formula for childrearing,” says Honoré. ”But children need to feel safe and loved; they need our time and attention with no conditions attached; they need boundaries and limits; they need space to take risks and make mistakes; they need to spend time outdoors and occasionally need to be ranked and measured less; they need healthy food; they need to aspire to something bigger than owning brandname gizmos and they need room to be themselves.” magazine cape town

signs of parenting too hard You may be over-parenting if you regularly do your children’s homework, shout constant instructions from the sideline and spy on their Facebook page.

Other warning signals: children falling asleep en route to their next extramural activity or eating most meals in the car.

tips from the experts

1 2 3 4 5

Instilling independence. At age three, walk with your child to a neighbour. At age six, stand at the door and watch from a distance. By age 10, let them walk independently.

Free play. Give children space in the afternoons to just be. That’s the time when you build a relationship, with old-fashioned activities like climbing a tree, running around and perhaps getting a skinned knee. Sit and watch them play and listen to them – they’ll learn social skills through simply talking to you about their day.

Play games. Start young and prompt children to learn age-appropriately what they can do. Don’t say, “never get in a car with somebody.” Instead ask your child what they will do if somebody stops their car and says your mommy said they can fetch you in their car. Teach them your phone number at an early age, but make it into a game without instilling fear. Say, “let’s play ‘telephone’ and practice this number.”

Family time. Create quality car time by playing word and observation games. Create special family celebrations and rituals. Invite children to help with kitchen prep from a young age, increasingly giving them more responsibility. Don’t squeeze children in between emails. Be fully present for 15 minutes, for instance, so you fill their emotional cups and they’re happy to go off and occupy themselves.

Creativity. Organise play dates for children until age 12. Give older children a dedicated space to be creative.

further reading • F ree-range Kids: How to raise safe, self-reliant children without going nuts with worry by Lenore Skenazy (Jossey-Bass, 2010) • Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting by Carl Honoré (HarperCollins Publishers, 2009) • Children Need Boundaries by Anne Cawood (Metz Press, 2007)

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education

extra! extra!

Newspapers have educational and entertainment value, which make them a nifty learning resource at home and in the classroom. By TAMLYN VINCENT

an unlikely teacher For parents and teachers in particular, the newspaper can be an especially powerful tool as it is like a living textbook. There is something new to read, look at, think about and discuss every day. Newspapers can add to the lesson in a classroom, form part of a child’s research material and add interesting ideas to daily discussions. As in a school day, a newspaper will typically cover a variety of disciplines, from business and finance to politics, entertainment and sport. Through the journalist’s required knowledge and understanding of the subject matter coupled with their flare for language and communication, your child will be constantly introduced to new words, terminology and concepts by reading the newspaper.

While 10-year-old Sadie was eating breakfast with her mom, she happened to pick up a section of the paper and read about how a government official used the opening of a hospital as a platform to talk about alcohol issues in the community. “Mom, what does platform mean?” Without trying to, the newspaper article raised the bar for Sadie and got her thinking about a word she likely would not have come across in her daily life.

Here are some creative ways to use the newspaper to teach:

1

word games

Most newspapers feature crossword and sudoku puzzles, while some may offer easier games for younger children. They could also make their own crossword from words they find in the newspaper, and you could make it more challenging by giving the crossword a theme or telling them to only use verbs. Other word games include word searches, cryptograms – use a key to solve the puzzle – and word polygons, which is the use of set letters to make as many words as possible.

3 30

scavenger hunts

4

Children can use the paper to identify different types of punctuation. A useful activity is to give children a rewritten paragraph from the newspaper with all the punctuation removed. They can then punctuate the paragraph for themselves.

Compare this to the original, see if the meaning has been changed anywhere and give them feedback.

7

pictures paint a thousand words

Children who can’t yet read can have fun looking at the pictures, “shopping” from adverts or looking for different items, shapes or colours. They could also make collages from pictures they find, illustrating things like meals they like or things they enjoy doing. School-going children can tell a story from what they see in an article’s photo. Political cartoons and caricatures often offer social commentary that older children can learn to appreciate.

2

Get children to search for different letters or words in an article.

Older children can learn to identify words from word classes by being asked to highlight all of the nouns or adjectives on a page.

ABCs

full stops and commas

5

make your own newspaper

This class activity will task children with exploring newsworthy events in their class, school and community.

Interviews, columns, cartoons and entertainment news can all be included.

6

geography lesson

Most newspapers will cover national and international news, so find articles from around the country or the world and mark these places on a map.

This will also give children a better understanding of current affairs in other places.

8

talk about it

Newspapers offer plenty of discussion points, from current affairs to how headlines use certain words. You can look at why popular sports, entertainment or celebrity figures are always making headlines.

Also, discussing the advertising and how it works will make for an interesting conversation.

9

adopt a pet Use the classifieds as a resource too. Children can find a pet they want to adopt, a house they want to “buy” or a career they would like to pursue. This gives children a chance to learn about themselves and their goals.

Ask children to find and cut out the letters of the alphabet from headlines. They can then find words or pictures that start with each letter and create an alphabet chart.

August 2012

To download these ideas, go to childmag.co.za/content/extra-extra

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

t

he first real newspapers were printed about 500 years ago. Back then the content was mostly local, but as production became cheaper, newspapers became more popular and expanded their reach. Today we have daily, weekly and weekend editions that cover local, national and international news.

While advances in technology mean the online newspaper has grown in popularity, the hard copy newspaper still has its place for many of us and is being adapted to suit modern living – you might have noticed that the Cape Argus has exchanged the cumbersome broadsheet for a compact A3 format. Other compact newspapers are Mail & Guardian and East London’s Daily Dispatch.

magazine cape town

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31

straight talk

sobering truths Underage drinking has debilitating long-term effects, including the stunting of your child’s

a

dolescence refers to the period in our children’s lives that stretches from pubescence to self-sufficiency.

It is a monumental journey, packed with developmental tasks and expectations, all of which our children need to negotiate and fulfil if they are ever to properly feel in control of their lives. Learning to cope with change is one of their greatest challenges.

Everything changes during adolescence, and the biggest test for teenagers, and parents, is how they deal with them.

These changes usually begin with the transformation that is taking place inside their growing bodies, which then ripples out and influences every other area of their lives. They signal the beginning of a range of new, important, complex and elaborate relationships that will dominate and influence the rest of their lives.

These include their relationship with their body, their friends, their boyfriends and girlfriends, the outside world, their parents, and, most importantly, their relationship with themselves. What they are also about to discover is their relationship with their own brain.

alcohol and the brain In the past, researchers believed that by the time children reached adolescence their brain was fully developed. However, more

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recent discoveries have shown that this is not true. Conclusive evidence suggests that the teenage brain undergoes several dramatic structural changes, which continue until about the age of 20. During adolescence large sections of grey matter gets shed and faster, more efficient synaptic pathways for the conduit of information are established.

In simple terms, this describes the process of learning which, for a short period during adolescence, is quite fluid and adaptable.

This explains why it is much easier for teenagers to learn a new language, to play an instrument or to understand technology.

At the same time though, it also makes teenagers more susceptible to picking up negative and debilitating habits.

The reason for this is that the prefrontal cortex – the seat of all our later executive functions which, among other

things, regulates our judgement, our impulse control and our capacity to discern wrong from right – is painfully exposed and underdeveloped during adolescence. It is therefore impossible to expect teenagers to be in control of their lives at this stage, making the role of the parents crucial.

developmental implications As parents you have to remember that adolescence is the gradual movement from a state of dependency towards being able to function independently. There are a whole range of developmental tasks along the way, but the goal is for them to be able to function as independent people who are in charge of their lives. The last thing they need is to be fooling around with a substance that is actually going to keep them helpless and dependent forever, which alcohol

does. Research confirms that alcohol is a powerful drug that has debilitating effects on motor, memory, perceptual, executive and developmental functions. This applies particularly to teenagers whose brains are still developing and evolving. The value of this research is that it enables parents and educators to tell teenagers that drinking alcohol at a young age will be bad for their mental health. The earlier teenagers start drinking, the greater the likelihood of them developing a debilitating alcohol dependency in their adult years. A lessacknowledged, but profoundly disturbing, consequence of underage drinking is its ability to stunt emotional development.

Teenagers who start drinking from a young age may carry on growing mentally and physically, even cognitively, but their emotional growth may be severely compromised.

If teenagers start drinking frequently at the age of 15 and then stop drinking at the age of 28, their emotional age when they finally stop drinking will be approximately that of a 15-year-old. Giving up drinking is invariably the easy part; getting on with their lives afterwards is an entirely different proposition. The real reason these people find it so hard to stay off the drugs and the alcohol is because they have the maturity, self-control, insight and judgement of a

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH and Illustrations: shutterstock.com

emotional growth, says GARY KOEN.

15-year-old. All the important lessons they were supposed to have learnt when they were a teenager, now have to be learnt when they are in their 20s, 30s or even their 40s. Things that come naturally when you are 15 become difficult and painful when you are starting to do them as an adult.

Alcoholics and drug addicts in countless rehabilitation centres around the world are still trying to find the boundaries and limits they were supposed to have learnt while growing up.

long-term effects Alcohol is deceptive because you often find that the people who drink copious amounts of alcohol tend to be incredibly bright and talented, and full of potential.

Despite their binges, they usually still manage to complete difficult degrees and carry on to achieve brilliance. Their intellect has not been compromised; it is their emotional capacity that has been limited by alcohol. It is their capacity to grasp and understand themselves and how best to live their lives without selfdestruction that they really struggle with.

They never fully come to terms with the values of integrity, morality, reliability and commitment. Alcoholics and drug addicts can be the nicest of people – kind, frank, open, spontaneous, disarming and engaging. Unfortunately, they can also become the most unpredictable and unreliable people, especially when put under pressure or placed in a situation that requires them to act with uprightness and responsibility.

This will only manifest later, and not immediately when teenagers steal a bottle of beer to drink behind the tool shed.

However, when they start regularly stealing bottles of hard spirits and splitting it with their friends, there is cause for concern.

Drinking half a glass of wine occasionally with the family at a Sunday lunch will

magazine cape town

hardly have any effect, but downing two or three beers or ciders every night of the weekend, most certainly will. Further danger comes in the form of associating alcohol with socialising. Somehow, going out with friends is not complete unless they are also having a drink.

said, “because I feel too embarrassed to go and talk to girls.” This from a boy who the previous weekend had gone to a party where he had gotten so drunk that among other things, he had vomited all over the host’s lounge, then started a fight before passing out at the bottom of

Alcohol is deceptive, because you often find that the people who drink copious amounts of alcohol tend to be incredibly bright and talented, and full of potential.

Teenagers need to develop a capacity for self-reflection and independent thought, but alcohol cuts right through this process, making them believe they are someone they are not. The characteristics: comfort, insights and confidence that come from being drunk are short-lived and gone the following morning. Any self-discoveries made while they were drunk, will be lost in the aftermath of the hangover.

what is the appeal?

What makes alcohol so lethal is that initially, in even the smallest of quantities, it does seem to have positive effects. It can relax teenagers and fill them with confidence, making them less self-conscious. If they can keep it together while drinking, they may find there are sides to themselves that they never knew were there. This is all well and good, but those aspects of themselves will only reappear when they next drink. They may find that they need more alcohol to find that comfortable place. The problem with more alcohol is that the line between funny and stupid becomes very thin, while the gap between who they are, and who they want to be, starts to widen.

I recall listening to a 15-year-old boy explain to me why he drank. “I do it”, he

the garden, where some friends eventually found him. They wrestled him into a car before dumping him over the wall of his house into the garden where his parents discovered him the following day.

I stared incredulously at him. “Are you really telling me that talking to a girl could

be more embarrassing than all of that?”

Apparently so.

The message for teenagers who have enjoyed the benefits of alcohol, and found themselves more relaxed and spontaneous, less self-conscious and more willing and able to speak about themselves, would be to find a way of being “drunk” while sober.

They need to be able to be themselves while they are still themselves. The danger of alcohol is that it can alter your reality, so what would be the point of being somebody that you are not? What teenagers really have to be able to do, is to discover who they are without the use of alcohol or another stimulant. That way, not only do they stand a better chance of overcoming social hurdles and learning how to handle themselves in uncomfortable situations, but the things that they discover about themselves makes their growth real and not simply the spurious by-products of a drug.

Gary Koen recently won the Brandhouse Responsible Drinking Media Award for Best Online Entry 2012. To read the article, which originally appeared in the April 2012 issue of Child magazine, visit childmag.co.za/content/think-youlet-them-drink. Other articles by Gary can also be found at childmag.co.za

Gary Koen is a clinical psychologist in private practice with over 20 years’ experience, working mainly with adults and adolescents. He also does presentations at schools on a range of teenage-related topics. These include all the general aspects of normal adolescent development. He developed and successfully runs a course, “An introduction to adolescence”, aimed at parents. He is also working on a book that deals with the challenges facing parents and teenagers and, as a father of three, he is heavily invested in everything he says.

For more information, visit garykoen.co.za

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resource

an added advantage Whether your child is looking to boost their upcoming exam results, they need to grasp a difficult concept or want to wrap their head around the work load, these learning centres will help your school-goer make a success of each term. By LUCILLE KEMP

Computers 4 Kids The programme focuses on computer and IT skills training for children from 3 years old. The classes are offered at your home, and at nursery schools and junior primary schools as an extramural. Computers 4 Kids has an E-Learner certificate endorsed by the ICDL. Area: based in Tokai Contact: 0861 C 4 KIDS (0861 245 437), 083 310 1438, info@computers4kids.co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za RiNico Computerkids Academy A fun school readiness programme is offered to children from 3 years old to grade R,

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August 2012

in order to introduce them to computers.

There is also a curriculum for children in Grade 1–7, which provides the foundation to computer literacy. Two progress reports are issued during the year as well as a certificate at the end of the year.

Area: all areas of the Cape Metropole Contact: 021 948 6800, 082 925 7775, rinico@webmail.co.za or visit rinico.com

Zone course will stimulate perceptual and educational skills. For 3–12 year olds.

Area: based in Gordon’s Bay Contact: 021 856 1906, 074 160 6304, stimuhoza@yahoo.com or visit stimuzone.com

Stimu-Zone Technological education is offered to all age groups. Stimu-Zone supplies the computers, syllabus and educators to any educational institution.

Their programmes are CAPS orientated and they focus on the learner as the most important link in the educational system.

All students receive a progress report each term and a certificate yearly. The Stimu-

Alliance Française Tutoring in French is offered privately or in a group setting.

Area: Loop Street Contact: 021 423 5699 or capetown@ alliance.org.za

languages and reading centres

Centre for the Book Reading Centre The centre has partnered with the ukuHamba Nabantwana Trust and works to encourage

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterSTOCK.COM

computer and IT centres

literacy in a fun way. Preschools book a storytelling session with the centre in their language choice – isiXhosa, Afrikaans or English. They then do an activity, such as colouring in, based on the story. In keeping with the educational theme the trust may arrange for a visit to Iziko Museum. For smaller groups each child leaves with a book.

Area: Gardens To book, contact Rochelle: 021 801 3147 or 083 729 2746 Edublox Reading and Learning Clinic They help reading and learning difficulties by scientifically assessing your child’s skills. Weekly classes take place to improve concentration, perception, memory, logical thinking, processing speed and spelling ability, skills that underlie reading, spelling, writing, and learning. They help learners with reading and spelling difficulties, including reversal of letters such as “b” and “d”, and they offer intensive holiday courses for accelerated progress and results. Edublox also provides classes on study skills, study methods and study techniques for

magazine cape town

Grade 4 and older learners as well as school readiness classes for little ones.

Area: Claremont Contact Zainu: 021 671 2409, 083 786 8383, zainu@edublox.com or visit thereadingclinic.co.za GoFocus Remedial Centre A centre for mostly foundation phase pupils that helps with spelling, pronunciation, handwriting, balance, reading and comprehension, alphabet, dyslexia symptoms, telling time, fine and gross motor coordination and concentration techniques. They have a cutting edge 3D animation programme to facilitate the learning process.

Area: Durbanville Contact Sulet: 072 433 7264, gofocus@ gfrs.co.za or visit gofocus.co.za Kip McGrath Education Centres Kip McGrath’s English programme covers reading, spelling, grammar, comprehension, vocabulary and writing skills. Kip McGrath accommodates children from Grade R to matric.

Area: nationwide Contact: 031 903 5352, info@kipmcgrath.

co.za or to find a centre close to you, visit kipmcgrath.co.za Kumon English programme The Kumon method not only improves maths and English skills but children develop confidence, self-esteem and self-discipline during the process. The focus is on developing

a love of reading, and on developing comprehension, how to summerise and listening skills. Children start from 3 years old and progress from letter recognition through to poetry and literature in Grade 12.

Area: nationwide Contact: 0800 002 775, info@kumon. co.za or visit kumon.co.za

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resource

SmartBrain They provide an early-learning programme for 0–4 year olds using flash cards, the Glenn Doman method, as well as a school readiness and sound empowerment course for children from 4 years old using the phonics method. They also help develop study methods – multisensory, mind maps, thinking maps and mega-memory. The head office is in Bellville but there are branches countrywide.

Area: based in Belville Contact: 021 945 3623, smartbrainho@ gmail.com or visit smartbrainsa.co.za Societa’ Dante Alighieri Italian language courses are offered for children in private or group format. They work in accordance with the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages.

Area: based in Gardens and Stellenbosch Contact: 021 465 8261, info@ladante. co.za or visit ladante.co.za The Shine Centre This innovative programme provides support in literacy and language enrichment for children in Grades 2 and 3. The programme consists of four parts: shared reading, paired reading, “have a go” writing, and word play. Children are paired with a learning partner who builds up a detailed profile of each child and reports on their learning behaviour and their physical and emotional status.

Area: Claremont Contact: 084 615 4680, shinecentrecapetown@gmail.com or visit theshinecentre.org.za Thetha Xhosa for Kids Flashcards and wall charts have been developed for children as an early introduction to the beautiful language that is isiXhosa.

Area: Tokai Contact: 021 712 7953, 076 906 9197, mandy@thethaforkids.co.za or visit thethaforkids.co.za

Tina Cowley Reading Centre Using a computer programme and one-on-one interaction, children improve their reading skills through improving letter recognition, distinguishing foreground (black letters) from the (white) background and phonological processing. The reading therapy programme is available in English and Afrikaans.

Area: Brackenfell, Eversdal and Parow Contact Tina or Linda: 013 656 5748, 087 941 5411, tinacow@mweb.co.za, linda@ tinacowley.co.za or visit tinacowley.co.za Xhosa Fundis This language school and learning materials publisher is fully accredited with the Education, Training and Development Practices sector. They offer short isiXhosa language workshops for children as well as sell a range of innovative isiXhosa-English language learning materials including Xhosa Songs for Kids CDs with matching colouring and activities books for children aged 3–9 years old. Other materials include handbooks and audio CDs for essential social and practical isiXhosa, illustrated flash cards, fridge magnets, pocket phrase book, isiXhosaEnglish greeting cards and more.

Area: Upper Woodstock Contact: 021 447 9868, 084 843 7795, molo@new.co.za or visit xhosafundis.co.za

maths centres Kip McGrath Education Centres They help with maths basics, homework and more advanced maths problems as well as with the understanding of new concepts introduced in Grades 8, 9 and 10. For pupils in Grade R–Matric.

Area: nationwide Contact: 031 903 5352, info@kipmcgrath. co.za or visit kipmcgrath.co.za Kumon Math programme The Kumon method not only improves maths and English skills but learners develop confidence, self-esteem and self-discipline throughout the process. When enrolling, each child is assessed to establish their starting level and as they progress they are carefully monitored by the instructor so that the class work and home work matches their level. Children attend a Kumon Centre twice a week, and complete 20 to 30 minutes of work at home on off days. The understanding and skill level is built up incrementally so as to not overwhelm or stress the learner.

Certificates of achievement are awarded on successful completion of a level.

Area: nationwide Contact: 0800 002 775, info@kumon. co.za or visit kumon.co.za Living Maths Maths enrichment classes for Grades R–7, which incorporates brainteasers, lateral thinking and advanced maths problems with a real-world application.

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Area: Cape Town Science Centre, Observatory Contact: 021 712 5111, 083 308 3883, info@livingmaths.com, livmath@iafrica. com or visit livingmaths.com Master Maths They provide tuition that is SA curriculum-based for Grade 4–12 learners in an environment that is fully bilingual with Afrikaans. They make extensive use of interactive computer graphics to illustrate principles. The tutors identify the problem areas of each learner, allocate appropriate lessons and continually monitor and encourage them.

Area: centres throughout Western Cape Contact: 021 851 5660, info@mastermaths. co.za or visit mastermaths.co.za Maths-is-Easy Maths and science tuition for individuals and groups for learners in Grade R–12.

Area: based in Rondebosch Contact: 082 562 4189 Mathswise Private maths tuition for 14–17 year olds.

Area: based in Wynberg Contact Roshan: 021 761 9515, 072 665 0007 or mathswise@mweb.co.za Mind over Maths They offer personalised maths tuition to primary and high school students at their centre and they have a hands-on approach and don’t use computers. They accommodate Grades 3–12, and have a primary and senior section.

Area: southern suburbs (close to Kirstenhof) Contact: Richard: 083 281 8324 or Karen: 072 495 7900, richard@mindovermaths. co.za or visit mindovermaths.co.za UCMAS SA Young Minds Education Children 4–13 years old learn the basic mathematical skills of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division with the use of the Chinese abacus, an ancient Chinese technique of coordination of brain and body development. This system enables whole brain development and along with teaching traditional mathematical concepts it improves your child’s ability to memorize, concentrate, and process information, which in turn enhances their IQ. Area: based in Wynberg Contact Husnah: 084 241 7002, husnah. sonday@gmail.com or visit ucmassa.co.za magazine cape town

music centres Amallegro A preschool music and drama development programme for children 2–7 old years at pre- and primary schools, as well as marimba tuition and djembe drumming from 7 years of age to high school level.

Area: northern suburbs Contact: 072 875 6094, my.amallegro@ gmail.com or find them on Facebook Drumkidz They run a music development programme in djembe drumming for preprimary and primary school pupils up to Grade 2, either as an extramural or as part of the school curriculum. The learners drum along to stories and songs, which in turn develops their auditory perception and builds the foundation for an understanding of music.

Area: Helderberg, southern suburbs, northern suburbs and Tableview Contact: 021 434 7610, info@drumkidz. co.za or visit drumkidz.co.za

Drumming SA They go to your school and teach children drumming to interlocking rhythms and African songs for no longer than 45 minutes.

Area: all over Cape Town Contact: 021 715 2450, 084 686 3872, catherine@drummingsa.co.za or visit drummingsa.co.za Guitar Studio Lessons are for beginners, through to advanced level, and cover both acoustic and electric guitar. Critical growth and learning skills are incorporated into the classes in a fun manner; these include gross motor function, fine motor function, logic, counting, depth perception, rhythm, social interaction and concentration. Oneon-one lessons are offered.

Area: based in Tableview Contact Martin: 021 557 2152 or 078 800 1473 August 2012

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Ilse Burger Music School Ilse, an established music teacher, teaches piano, keyboard, singing, recorder, music theory, sight reading, ear training, guitar, music for pre-primary school children, music appreciation and music therapy.

She teaches various genres from light, contemporary to classical music.

Area: based in Stellenbosch Contact: 072 385 6613 or ilseburger@ gmail.com Kindermusik Therapeutic, whole-brain development music classes expose your child (birth–7 years) to music, while giving parents a chance to bond and have fun with their children. Starting out with singing, dancing, playing with instruments, balls, scarves and hoops, children then progress to a stage where they read and write music, and play glockenspiels, keyboards, dulcimers and recorders. Certificates of attendance are awarded once you have completed the course.

Area: centres throughout Cape Town Contact: 018 468 2380/5143, 082 920 0629, ksa@kindermusik.co.za or visit kindermusik.co.za and to find a Kindermusik centre near you, visit kindermusikpartners.co.za

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curriculum based workshops and science shows for school learners as well as fun but educational workshops for the general public on weekends and public holidays.

Area: Observatory Contact: 021 300 3200, info@ctsc.org.za or visit ctsc.org.za

Soundhouse They offer a musical multimedia experience for everyone from age 6 and up who has an interest in music using computer technology. A wide variety of interactive and curriculum based courses are on offer. Each session lasts about an hour, during which one-onone assistance is provided to would-be composers, musicians, sound engineers and performers.

Area: Cape Town Science Centre, Observatory Contact: 021 447 0018, info@soundhouse. co.za or visit soundcheck.co.za

Urban Beat Music School Tuition is offered in drums, electric, acoustic and classical guitar, electric bass guitar, vocal training and music theory training.

Area: Parklands and N1 City Bothner’s Studios Contact: 021 557 2181, 084 487 3831 or visit urbanbeat.co.za

science centres Cape Town Science Centre The centre runs structured school group visits with

Experi-Buddies Children take part in fun, interactive projects, demonstrations and experiments. By exposing children to science when they are young and impressionable, you feed their natural curiosity and get them to think logically and scientifically. In the weekly classes, learners wear lab coats and safety glasses while they learn about chemistry, physics, geology, biology, meteorology and astronomy.

Area: Paarl, Wellington, Durbanville, Stellenbosch, Somerset West and Strand Contact: madrie@experi.co.za Iziko Planetarium The planetarium runs a school programme in conjunction with the Education and Public Programmes department. Their shows explore various topics such as discovering the planets in our solar system and learning the nature of stars and the Cardinal points of the compass. Children can discover the Milky

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Way, the geology of Table Mountain and the astronomy of the Great Pyramid as well as exploring the discoveries made by the Hubble Space Telescope. Shows are in isiXhosa, English or Afrikaans and the shows are suitable for Grade R–12 pupils.

Area: Gardens For more info: visit iziko.org.za

Master Science They provide physical science tuition that is SA curriculum-based for Grade 10–12 pupils in English and Afrikaans. They provide individual lessons, which make extensive use of interactive computer graphics to illustrate principles.

They identify problem areas for each learner, allocate appropriate lessons and continually monitor and encourage them.

Area: throughout the Western Cape Contact: 021 851 5660 or for a centre near you, visit masterscience.co.za Nature Network This programme provides environmental learning experiences.

Through enjoyable interactions children come to understand their role in the ecosystem and respect all its facets, from the praying mantis to the rainstorm.

Generally facilitated as an extramural, Nature Network usually meets once a week for an hour. However, the programme can also be run as a curriculum-based weekly extramural or once-off workshops that support the current teaching theme.

The learning experience is hands-on so that children utilise all their senses to come into contact with the natural elements on their school grounds. The interactions are guided by discovery, games, role-

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play, storytelling and observation. Nature Network can also go to schools. The programme is ideal for 4–10 year olds.

Area: Cape Town and Winelands Contact: 073 232 5169, rhian@ naturenetwork.co.za or visit naturenetwork.co.za SANSA Space Science This magnetic observatory centre is responsible for research, infrastructure and providing data necessary for monitoring the nearearth space environment. The scope of activities includes fundamental and applied space physics research, post-graduate student training and internships, science advancement, space weather monitoring and the provision of geomagnetic fieldrelated services on a commercial and private basis. The Sansa Science Centre runs various science advancement programmes that will create interest and excitement in science, technology and engineering. Their mobile space lab travels to schools nationwide. From ages 6 and older.

Area: based in Hermanus Contact: 028 312 1196, info-spacesci@ sansa.org.za or visit space-sci. sansa.org.za

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study skills centres Cre8tive Kids They help learners identify their optimal learning styles and teach pupils the methods and skills they need to optimize their individual potential. The basic course takes place over a period of three lessons, the first of which is an assessment to determine each learner’s personal learning style to ensure that the following two lessons are structured in a way that will be of benefit to the child. The Study Smart course uses the suitable methods to improve concentration and memory, goal setting, tips for taking test and exams, answering questions correctly, finding important facts in information, conquering test anxiety and time management strategies.

Area: based in Bergvliet Contact: 021 715 8676, 083 380 9951, charlie@cre8tivekids.co.za or visit cre8tivekids.co.za Dore A scientific programme of two daily exercises focuses on developing balance, co-ordination, concentration and social skills to address symptoms associated with learning difficulties. Dore also offers internet-based guidance and coaching to facilitate the process. Programme length varies between six and 18 months, dependent on your child’s needs. From age 7 years and older.

Area: Claremont Contact: 083 448 6665, luke.lalin@dore.co.za or visit dore.co.za

all subjects Alas Academy They cater for your child in the areas of singing, drama, piano lessons, speech development, and they offer contemporary choir classes. They also offer Portuguese, Spanish and German language sessions. Another aspect of their business is offering tutoring in English, Afrikaans, music theory and maths for Grades 5–12.

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Equal Zeal training Research has shown that providing children with tools and strategies that build both emotional skills and healthy physical habits when preparing for a test, can help them overcome test anxiety and the associated symptoms. It also improves their ability to prepare for and perform on critical testing. Topics covered include “what is learning?”, stress and test anxiety, self esteem and the seven key ingredients for life, motivation, learning strengths and weaknesses, time management, concentration and listening, procrastination, getting organised for study, memory strategies and study techniques. For pupils from primary to high school.

Area: Blouberg and Helderberg Contact: Blouberg, Angelique: 082 453 4313, angelique@equalzeal.com; Helderberg, Lize: 084 226 2040 or lize@ equalzeal.com GoFocus Centre Offers study skills, extra lessons in all subjects as well as remedial classes.

Area: based in Durbanville Contact Sulet: 072 433 7264, sulet. fourie@gmail.com or visit gofocus.co.za

Area: based in Fish Hoek Contact: 021 782 6552, 084 244 5476, alasacademy@gmail.com or visit alasacademy.co.za Kiddiwinks Play to Learn Centre Through the use of Lego Educational material, Kiddiwinks provides training in mainly robotics. Areas such as science, technology, engineering, mathematics, literacy and programming are all covered, using the Lego NXT Mindstorms robot as magazine cape town

Mind Moves Through neurodevelopmental and genetic dominance assessments they address barriers to learning. Advanced Mind Moves instructors are equipped to not only address developmental issues to remove barriers to learning, but also offer tailored recommendations and programmes

the teaching tool. Kiddiwinks has been involved in international robotics courses, such as the World Robot Olympiad and First Lego League. Sessions can last 3–15 hours. For 6–18 year olds.

Area: Cape Town Science Centre, Observatory Contact: 082 880 6164, robotics@ kiddiwinks.co.za or visit kiddiwinks.co.za

to support school readiness, optimise learning efficiency and guide subject and career choice. Grade 1–12.

Area: nationwide; based in Devil’s Peak and Fish Hoek Contact: 021 461 3716, institute@ mindmoves.co.za or visit mindmoves.co.za

languages and musical instruments.

The tutors are screened, have reliable references and have achieved excellent results in the subjects they tutor. Tutoring takes place at your home and when it suits you. They save you time by scheduling your lessons, managing tutor performance and replacing your tutor on request.

Area: based in Newlands For more info: visit teachme2.co.za

Penguin Tutoring They offer extra lessons, provide exam preparation and revision, and homework supervision. Penguin tutoring takes a holistic approach to educating school-goers.

Area: based in Cape Town and Winelands Contact: Cape Town: 076 181 5644; Winelands: 071 868 2834 or visit penguintutoring.co.za Teach Me 2 A nationwide tutoring agency specialising in finding and placing the right tutors with learners. They cover a variety of learning areas including school subjects, magazine cape town

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E-Classroom An online portal that provides free, fun and educational support worksheets for learners in preprimary and primary school to use in the classroom and at home. The worksheets are developed in line with the new CAPS curriculum and follow all curriculum subjects. E-Classroom facilitates the integration of global learning methods into the education system, which allows pupils the opportunity to learn collaboratively, think originally, and learn to lead and to extend possibilities.

Contact: 021 789 0191, e-classroom@ mweb.co.za or visit e-classroom.co.za

online learning Brainline Learning World Offers distance education for Grade 1–12 pupils in both English and Afrikaans. The quality learning units meet the requirements of the national curriculum as set by the Department of Education. Additional material and online support is available.

Contact Daleen: 076 414 2774, cape@ brainline.com or visit http://brainline.com Computer Skills for Africa Children learn to use computer programmes such as Microsoft Word or Excel. The activities can be done in the comfort of your own home under the guidance and supervision of parents. At the end of the programme learners are awarded an International Computer Driving License.

Contact: 034 326 4624 or visit cs4a.co.za Conquesta Past Papers They offer past exam or test papers as a teaching or learning aid for use at home and/or in the classroom. These scripts can be used as an extramural activity for Grades 1–7 as well as those children in home school.

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Most of the subject papers are available in Afrikaans as well. Their maths papers include many problem solving questions.

They come in two different levels per grade.

Area: based in Durban Contact: 031 764 5059, 031 764 1972, conquest@iafrica.com or visit conquestapastpapers.com

Edmodo They provide students with a secure place to connect and collaborate, share content and educational applications, and access homework, grades, class discussions and notifications. Their goal is to help educators harness the power of social media to customize the classroom for each and every learner.

For more info: visit edmodo.com

Future 4 Kids Supplies educational software to parents and learners for home use. They are the exclusive distributors of the acclaimed CAMI Educational Software packages to private homes. Along with their maths software packages, they also offer packages in reading and perceptual skills. Future 4 Kids offers a tutor support hotline that learners and parents can use should they need the assistance of an experienced maths tutor. They are based in Bellville but they operate everywhere in the Western Cape.

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Contact: 021 811 6600, info@ future4kids.co.za or for more info, visit future4kids.co.za or camiweb.co.za Get Ahead A local educational software product of revision and exercises that is based entirely on the current South African primary school curriculum. Practise your maths, science, English, Afrikaans and life skills in an interactive way.

Contact: 021 595 0333 or visit getahead.co.za IQ Smart This educational software offers learners from preschool through to Grade 12 interactive lessons and exercises that follow South Africa’s standard curriculum in maths, English, science and computer literacy. Learners are able to work at their own pace, going quickly through easy material, and taking their time to master concepts that they find more difficult.

Contact Rick: 083 256 9696 or visit iqsmart.co.za IXL Learning A fun and easy-to-navigate website that offers maths exercises and games that are aligned to the South African national curriculum for preschool

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to Grade 9 learners. Members receive access to IXL’s national curriculum reports where you’re able to monitor your child’s progress.

For more info: visit za.ixl.com Kids @ Work A website that provides research articles, with information that follows the national school curriculum.

Learners are able to use the articles for their primary school assignments. The articles are available in life orientation, social and natural science, EMS, arts and culture and technology. The site is in Afrikaans and English.

For more info: visit kidsatwork.co.za Kidzui A browser built for children that you can download. Along with the fun activities on offer there is an educational aspect called Kidzui Scholastic with sections dedicated to interactive activities, and learning and homework help.

To download and for more info: visit kidzui.com MathsBuddy A high-quality, independent online maths tutoring programme based on the South African curriculum for Grades

1–12. Both schools and parents can buy the programme, which was developed by experienced teachers, featuring over 1 600 animated and narrated maths lessons and more than 65 000 interactive questions. Content is adjusted for new curriculum changes. For 6–18 years.

Contact Jeanette: 011 275 0444, 083 469 3886, jeanette@mathsbuddy.co.za or visit mathsbuddy.co.za Readers are Leaders An established computer-based reading and language programme that aims to dramatically improve reading speed, helps children read with comprehension and encourages an academic improvement in all subjects.

All aspects of language are developed for example, grammar, vocabulary, spelling and improving visual memory.

The programme holds over 1 000 reading passages each with a sequence of exercises. The programme allows you to add your own content. The programme comes in English and Afrikaans, Grades 1–12 and three tertiary levels. Also available in Afrikaans as Lesers is Leiers.

Contact: 021 975 6800 or visit readersareleaders.co.za

The Happy Handwriter Uses letter formation books, fine motor kits and letter cards. The activities, based on current motor learning theory, are specifically designed to target the muscle groups and movement patterns for improving pencil control for handwriting. The programme was designed by an occupational therapist with 25 years’ experience in the field of learning difficulties, with a special interest in handwriting.

Contact: 021 715 6719, info@ thehappyhandwriter.co.za or visit thehappyhandwriter.co.za

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books

a good read for toddlers

for preschoolers

Bear Takes a Trip

By Stella Blackstone and Debbie Harter (Published by Barefoot Books, R70) Bear and his friend are taking a trip to the mountains.

Tell the time with them as they make their way to their destination via different modes of transport. The story is told in snappy rhyme: “Bear has a very long journey to make; there are lots of things for him to take.” At the back of the book are fun time-telling exercises. This sturdy board book is recommended for children from the age of two to five. Other books in the very popular Bear series include Bear’s Busy Family, Bear in Sunshine, Bear’s Birthday and Bear on a Bike.

Animal Fun

By Brenda Apsley and Jeannette O’Toole (Published by Human & Rousseau, R60) Children from the age of two to five can have fun with all the animal friends by opening the foldout pages and turning the picture wheel. They can help the cat find her ball of wool or see which animals have spots and which have stripes.

They can see who is big and who is small and join in and growl like a tiger or honk like a sea lion. With the clever use of real-life photographs, young children can look for ladybugs, learn about colours and marvel at a baby panda and koala.

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play along

Freddy and Frieda’s Traveling Tales: Meet the Families

By Claudia Eicker-Harris and Marina Shupik (Published by My Family!, R173) This is the first book in a series where Freddy and Frieda the field mice travel the world meeting different kinds of people, teaching tolerance and sharing heartwarming stories. Meet the Families is about some of the children and families that they have come to know on their travels. Written in rhythmic style, this story celebrates the different family structures, and helps children see that every family is special in their own way, and also shows that despite their differences they all have one thing in common: love. It is available at book stores and on myfamilyproducts.net

We all went on Safari

By Laurie Krebs and Julia Cairns (Published by Barefoot Books, R80) Children can learn to count in Swahili and discover all kinds of African animals with this exciting children’s safari through the grasslands of Tanzania. The lively, rhyming text is supplemented by a map and facts about Tanzania and the Maasai people, notes about each of the animals and an illustrated guide to counting in Swahili.

The absolutely stunning illustrations will draw your child in to want to learn more and experience a different part of Africa.

A portion of the proceeds from the sale of each book is donated to the African Wildlife Foundation to aid in their wildlife conservation and community building efforts in Tanzania.

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for preschoolers

for early graders Yoga Pretzels

By Tara Guber, Leah Kalish, Baron Baptiste and Sophie Fatus

The South African Alphabet

By Alex Latimer (Published by Puffin Books, R120) Alex Latimer’s splendidly South African illustrations make learning the alphabet as easy as 1-2-3. A is for aloe, B is for braai, C is for Currie Cup… your child will learn their letters by identifying familiar South African objects throughout this book.

Z the A– th u in So n a Afric

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MapsBox – Africa & World Wall Maps + Inflatable Globe (Published by MapStudio, R99,95) The box set contains a clear and easyto-read map on a large format sheet. The colours on the map are bright with legible text. All the countries of the world and their capitals are listed, with bright colours highlighting each country. It also has a map legend and a north point and scale bar. The African map is in the same format and also has a locator map, showing the position of Africa on the continent and the major connecting roads. The inflatable globe is learner-friendly with colourcoded countries and their capital cities.

It also shows international boundaries, international time zones, international date lines, physical features, the oceans and seas as well as drainage.

(Published by Barefoot Books, R157) Here are 50 fun yoga activities for children and adults. Each card describes in detail a yoga exercise and covers breathing, playful and creative games, balance, practicing standing to become stable, strong and grounded, the forward bend, the back bend, twists and stretches as well as tips to have fun and how to unwind, rest and revive. Each exercise is accompanied by an explanation of how you will benefit and there are clear guidelines that you can follow to plan your practice.

100% Unofficial Olympic Poems

By Brian Moses and Roger Stevens (Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R71) This is a brilliant, funny and inspiring collection of poems about sport and sporting events of every kind for children from the age of seven. There are poems about PE lessons, sports days and the final of the men’s 100m race. There are poems about winning and about taking part; poems about having all the

don to Lon with rhyme

right kit but no talent; poems about being a team player and poems about being a hero. This book is packed with sporting gems of all kinds and even includes a poem about an egg-and-spoon race.

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for preteens and teens The Paradise Trap

By Catherine Jinks (Published by Quercus, R111) Eleven-year-old Marcus loves video games and hates the beach, so he is not happy when his mom Holly drags him to Diamond Beach. Once there, Holly meets her childhood friend Coco, who is on holiday with her electronics-obsessed husband, Sterling Huckstepp, and their children. Opening a door into the basement of Holly’s caravan, the Huckstepp’s son Edison discovers the most amazing amusement park – whoever opens a door in the basement finds themselves in their very own dream vacation. But then it becomes impossible to escape, and it all begins to feel like a nightmare: Marcus, Holly and the Huckstepps find themselves trapped in a matrix of terrifying dreamscapes peopled with strange characters that will allow them to do anything they want, except leave.

science for the brave

The Book of Potentially Catastrophic Science

By Sean Connolly

(Published by Workman Publishing, R138) Children between the ages of 10 and 13 can sink their teeth into this science fest. There are 50 experiments that demonstrate the principles behind the greatest scientific breakthroughs in human history. They can learn how to launch a bottle rocket into the air, peer through a microscope made out of water, prove atomic theory with food colouring, recreate the Large Hadron Collider using marshmallows, parachute an egg from an upstairs window, distil DNA from a half-eaten banana and spark lightning in their mouths. Warning: great science means taking risks and these experiments may get messy. Adult supervision is recommended.

for us

inspir

ation

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet

By Jamie Ford (Published by Ballantine Books, R153) Henry Lee encounters a crowd gathered outside the Panama Hotel, once the gateway to Seattle’s Japantown. It has been boarded up for decades, but now the new owner has made an incredible discovery: the belongings of Japanese families, left when they were rounded up and sent to internment camps during World War II. This takes Henry Lee back to the 1940s, to his father who is obsessed with the war in China and having Henry grow up American.

While “scholar-shipping”, Henry meets Keiko Okabe, a young Japanese American student. Amid the chaos of blackouts, curfews, and FBI raids, Henry and Keiko forge a bond of friendship and innocent love. After Keiko and her family are swept up in the evacuations to the internment camps, she and Henry are left only with the hope that the war will end, and that their promise to each other will be kept.

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Steve Jobs – The Man who thought different

By Karen Blumenthal (Published by Feiwel & Friends, R87) From the start, his path was never predictable. Steve Jobs was given up for adoption at birth, dropped out of college after one semester, and at the age of twenty, created Apple in his parents’ garage with his friend Steve Wozniack. Then came the core and hallmark of his genius – his exacting moderation for perfection, his counterculture life-approach, and his level of taste and style that pushed all boundaries. A devoted husband, father and Buddhist, he battled cancer for over a decade, became the ultimate CEO, and made the world want every product he touched.

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for us Healing Foods

By Margaret Roberts (Published by Briza Publications, R236) With Healing Foods, prolific author Margaret Roberts brings nature’s pharmacy into our homes and lives.

Step by step, and easily accessible, Margaret showcases the super foods and warns against the danger foods. She lists the ailments we suffer from, offering comforting natural ways of correcting and rebuilding our health and regaining our vitality. More than 150 common and lesser-known vegetables, fruits, herbs, spices and other plant foods that are the building blocks of good health are described in full, covering aspects such as the plant’s history and origin, instructions on how to grow the plant, medicinal uses and major nutrients and ideas on how to include the plant in your diet, along with recipes.

parenting books Let’s Get Ready!

By Renee Lighton (Published by New Voices Publishing, R150) Renee Lighton has a BA degree and diplomas in Specialised Education for the Mentally Handicapped, Foundation Phase and Montessori Preschool Education.

Simple, practical ideas, which make use of what you have at home, encourage and develop the maths, phonics, reading and writing skills your child needs for Grade 1.

The book has a handy reference section that explains terminology and records outcomes for literacy and numeracy. The activities and ideas are comprehensive, fun and simply described. And the resources and equipment required for the majority of activities are found in most homes or are easily acquired at very little cost. For copies of the book, visit reneelighton.co.za

The Antenatal Guide Presented by Leanne Manas (Published by Rooftop Productions, R249,95) The guide comes with a nine-session DVD with leading professionals including Dr Blaine Robson, Dr Ruth Greeff, Sr Natalie Guscott and Dr Natascha Andrews. Part of the package is a pregnancy journal, sections on taking care of your body during pregnancy, planning the birth, how to prepare for the birth and coping with labour, as well as when labour and birth need assistance and how it works. There are tips on Caesarean birth, what to expect when your baby has arrived, your bond with your baby and your baby’s development. The book also comes with journal stickers as well as an exercise chart. To order, visit antenatalguide.com or sms TAG to 43366 and they will contact you.

Top 100 Meals in Minutes

By Annabel Karmel (Published by Random House Struik, R165) Time with your children is precious for every parent, so you don’t want to spend hours in the kitchen preparing food. This book comes to the rescue with recipes that require minimal time and effort, but are still delicious and nutritionally balanced.

Annabel Karmel, a leading authority on how to feed children, takes away the stress of what to cook to keep your children healthy and happy, providing age-appropriate, delicious meals for babies and toddlers. Easy-to-follow instructions, combined with great photography, and handy time guides for each recipe, make this the go-to book for any parent who has to juggle their time but also wants the best for their children. magazine cape town

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calendar

what’s on in august

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by LUCILLE KEMP.

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special events

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how to help

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SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Eagle Encounters bird of prey rehabilitation exhibition Interact with falcons, owls, and see a real eagle.

Pamper session Enjoy a morning of champagne, snacks and the magic of horses, while being pampered to your heart’s content. The pamper includes mini massages, reflexology, make-up consultations and manicures.

Original Play workshop A rare opportunity to learn about the art of play from the world-renowned Dr Fred Donaldson, author of Playing By Heart.

Reach for your Slippers fundraiser Show your support for Reach for a Dream with this fundraiser where you wear your slippers to work and your children wear slippers to school.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Robertson Slow Festival This boutique festival celebrates taking it easy by enjoying the simple things in life.

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SPECIAL EVENTS 2 thursday Open day at the German International School Cape Town (DSK) Sit in on their classes, meet the principals and members of staff, and consider sending your child to Grade 5 at DSK. No German language skills required. Entrance exams are on 18 August and 15 September. Time: tbc. Venue: German International School of Cape Town, 28 Bay View Ave, Tamboerskloof.

Cost: free. Contact Bettina: 021 480 3861 or admissions@dsk.co.za

3 friday Baba Indaba At the expo, expect interesting talks by some of South Africa’s leading experts, fashion shows, and entertaining South African musical acts that perform daily on the SABC Education stage at 11am, 1pm and 3pm. There are prizes presented every hour. Ends 5 August. Time: 9am–5pm daily.

Venue: Cape Town International Convention Centre. Cost: adults R60, children from 6 years R20, under 6 years free. For more info: visit babaindaba.co.za

9 thursday

19 August – Oude Molen Distillery MTB Challenge

35km; 9am, 10km. Venue: Oude Molen Distillery, Elgin, Grabouw. Cost: R55 for 10km, R110 for 35km and R160 for 60km. Contact: 086 138 3591, entries@stillwatersports.com or visit oudemolenmtbchallenge.co.za

23 thursday Clanwilliam Wild Flower Show The show exhibits the widest variety of plants and flowers in the country. Ends 29 August.

Time: 8:30am–6pm daily. Venue: Clanwilliam Flower Church. Cost: adults R30, pensioners R25 and children R5. Contact Sue: 027 482 2024/2613 or sue@patrysvlei.co.za

Kommetjie Health and Lifestyle Fair The third fair takes place on Women’s Day, offering visitors the chance to sample healthy lifestyle products and participate in a wide range of activities, techniques and therapies. A number of programmes keep children entertained. Wholesome food and beverages are on sale. 9 August. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: Kommetjie Primary School. Cost: adults R20, children under 12 years free. Contact Maggie: 072 425 5990

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10 friday

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Robertson Slow Festival This boutique festival celebrates the slow lifestyle by reminding us to enjoy the simple things in life. Ride a horse, go on a boat cruise, enjoy a hearty meal at the dinner table and end off a relaxing weekend on Sunday with the family at a food market. Ends 12 August. Time: varies. Venue: wineries in the Robertson Wine Valley. Cost: varies. Contact Elizma: 023 626 3167, manager@robertsonwinevalley.com or visit robertsonslow.com

Nederburg Concert with James Grace The recital features this leading South African classical guitarist, who has appeared with many of the country’s orchestras. Time: 5pm. Venue: Nederburg Manor House.

Cost: R170. Contact: concerts@distell.co.za

14 tuesday Jan van Riebeeck Primary School open day You get a chance to meet the staff and view the school’s facilities. This year, the school turns 90. Time: 6pm. Venue: Jan van Riebeeck Primary School, 52 Kloof St. Cost: free. Contact: 021 423 4209, louisem@ jvrprim.co.za or visit jvrprim.co.za

Zip Zap show school fundraisers Time: for Constantia Waldorf, 12pm. For Imhoff Waldorf School, 3pm. Venue: Zip Zap Dome, Founder’s Garden, Jan Smuts Rd, Foreshore. Cost: R60 for Constantia Waldorf event; R40 for Imhoff Waldorf event. Contact Constantia Waldorf: 082 610 9989 or mfuller@mweb.co.za; Imhoff Waldorf: 021 783 3056, 072 330 6945 or laurence@imhoffwaldorf.org

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Artjamming art classes Highly experienced art teachers are available.

For 5–13 year olds. Time: 3pm–4pm and 4pm–5pm, Monday–Wednesday. Venue: Cape Quarter, shop 14, Somerset Rd, Green Point. Cost: R150 per class. Contact: 021 421 6129 or visit artjamming.co.za Cape Gators Kids Club sand-art workshop Let your child join the club,

18 saturday Imhoff Waldorf School open day This school caters for children from playgroup level through to Grade 10. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: behind Imhoff stall, Kommetjie. Cost: free. Contact: office@ imhoffwaldorf.org

19 sunday Oude Molen Distillery MTB Challenge Support riders who tackle the 60km, 35km or 10km route. Time: 8am, 60km; 8:30am,

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4 August – Cape Town Science Centre family fun day

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with activities such as face painting, colouring-in competitions, themed art and crafts, visits from the Cape Gate gator mascots and a different activity every month. This month’s activity is a sand-art workshop. Membership is suitable for 3–13 year olds. 18 August. Time: 11am–12pm.

Venue: Cape Gate Centre. Cost: free. For more info: visit capegatecentre.co.za Cape Town Science Centre family fun day Join in the Solar Bug and Hero’s steam turbine workshops, and don’t miss the pops and bangs in the science shows.

4 August. Time: 9am–4:30pm. Venue: Cape Town Science Centre, 370B Main Rd, Observatory. Cost: free. Contact: 021 300 3200, info@ctsc.org.za or visit ctsc.org.za Creative Mosaic Workshop Learn the techniques of mosaic art and create something special. 4 and 31 August.

Time and venue: 8:30am–1pm, 4 August, Mosaic Works, Unit 2 Peter Park, cnr Montague Dr and Marconi Rd, Montague Gardens; 9am–1pm, 31 August, PNA Paarl, shop 14, The Vineyard Centre, cnr Concordia Rd and Main Rd, Paarl. Cost: R200 plus materials. Contact: 021 552 4870, admin@mosaicworks.co.za or visit mosaicworks.co.za Free two-hour introductory fabric painting workshop The sessions are for adults and children. 25 August. Time: 8:45am–10:45am. Venue: Pinelands. Cost: R30 per kit. Contact Wendy: 021 531 8076, 082 391 4954 or wendyadriaan@ telkomsa.net Friday night science night Learn more about electric musical instruments and join in the pops and bangs in the Science Show. 3 August. Time: 5pm–8pm. Venue: Cape Town Science Centre, 370B Main Rd, Observatory. Cost: free. Contact: 021 300 3200, info@ctsc.org.za or visit ctsc.org.za Portuguese and Spanish beginner language courses Once there are five students on the course, Portuguese or Spanish classes can be taught at beginner level for adults or children from 13 years old. It’s a 10-week course, ready to begin mid-August. Time: afternoon and evening depending on age group. Venue: Alas Academy, 85 Kommetjie Rd, Fish Hoek.

Cost: R800 per person. Contact Amy: 021 782 6552, 084 244 5476, alasacademy@ gmail.com or visit alasacademy.co.za Sue Nepgen’s children’s art classes Join in the third term’s art classes. The programme offers a choice from painting on canvas with acrylics, 3D sculpture, clay relief work, textured collage, etching, drawing and painting techniques. For 4–13 year olds. Time: in the afternoons and Saturday morning. Venue: Michael Oak Waldorf School, Kenilworth or 28 Klaasenbosch Dr, Constantia. Cost: R550 a term, including materials and firing. Pro-rata fees for late joiners. Contact Sue: 021 794 6609, 083 237 7242 or snepgen@xsinet.co.za The Amazing World of Gumball Children use their imagination to draw the newest student to join Gumball at Elmore Junior High School in this year’s Animation Generation competition, brought to you

by Cartoon Network. The top three entries stand a chance of winning iPads, Blackberry cellphones and iPods, with the school that magazine cape town

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Blisters for Bread Charity family fun walk This is Peninsula School Feeding Association’s flagship fundraiser.

Each walker feeds 18 children through their entry fee. Choose from three walking distances: 5km, 10km or 15km. The closing date for individual entries is 11 August and for group entries it is 4 August. Time: 8am. Venue: Green Point Cricket Club. Cost: R35 per entry. Contact: 021 511 7130 or visit psfa.org.za

submits the most entries receiving R10 000.

Entries close 3 September. For children 6–14 years. Download the entry form online and hand deliver to: HDI Youth Marketers, The White House, 168 Grosvenor Rd, Bryanston, or post it to: Animation Generation Competition Entries, Postnet Suite 331, Private Bag X51, Bryanston, 2012. For more info: visit cartoonnetworkafrica.com/ animationgeneration Xhosa workshops Introduce your children to Xhosa through stories, games and action songs over six weeks. Maximum 10 children per workshop. For children ages 3–9 years and parents. 18 August–22 September.

Time: 9am–9:40am (3–5 year olds), 9:45am–10:30am (6–9 year olds). Venue: 45 Queen’s Park Ave, Upper Woodstock.

Cost: R440 (3–5 years) and R500 (6–9 years). Contact: 021 447 9868, molo@new. co.za or visit xhosafundis.co.za/kids

classes, talks and workshops Auditions for Mzansi Magic Market Day talent show Singers bring backing tracks with no background vocals and dancers to bring own music. Children may enter as soloists or in groups of not more than six. For 7–15 year olds. 18 August.

Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Canal Walk Shopping Centre. Cost: free. Contact Patti: 083 310 9765, patti@finewomen.co.za for entry forms: visit mzansimarket.co.za Eight-week Zeal for Life social and emotional training This extramural programme provides the foundation for sound emotional intelligence (EQ) and the development of social skills needed to get along well with others. The aim is to have fun within a group while learning how to cope better with the challenges of family life, friendships and school. For 6–14 year olds. Starts 3 August. Time: 1:30pm–2:30pm. Venue: Blouberg EQual Zeal Life Studio. Cost: R110 per session plus R400 once-off for a Zeal Kit. Contact Leanne: 072 213 3166, leanne@equalzeal. com or visit equalzeal.com August 2012

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calendar Entrance exams with German International School for Grade 5 Current Grade 4 learners, who are not German speaking and want to enrol for Grade 5, can write an entrance exam.

18 August and 15 September. Time: 10am–12:30pm.

Venue: German International School of Cape Town, 28 Bay View Ave, Tamboerskloof. Cost: free.

Contact: 021 480 3830, nsek@dsk.co.za or visit dsk.co.za Goal setting for children This workshop develops goal-setting skills. Each child leaves with an action plan for the year, a vision board, a new set of skills, enthusiasm and the energy to take them through to their goals. For 9–13 year olds. 24 August.

Time: 2pm–5pm. Venue: Rondebosch or Claremont, tbc. Cost: R350 per child.

Contact Stephanie: 083 567 5572 or steph@familywellnessconsulting.co.za

Toptots Claremont mother-andchild workshop Classes cover creative messy play, perceptual development, ageappropriate groups, massage and more.

For children 8 weeks–4 years old. Opening 23 July and registration is ongoing. Time: call to enquire, lessons are 90 minutes long once a week. Venue: 74 Ranelagh Rd, Claremont. Cost: R900 a term. Your first lesson is a free trial. Contact Lisa: 079 248 8083 or lisam@toptots.co.za Tots n Pots Learn to cook a variety of healthy snacks, meals and treats. For 2–6 year olds. Time: 3pm–4pm, Wednesday and Thursday and 1pm–2pm, Thursday. For 2–3 year olds 9:30am–10:30am, Friday. For 2–10 year olds, 10am–11am, every Saturday.

Venue: Constantia Tots n Pots. Cost: R810 per term (9 weeks) or R90 per class, if space available. Contact: 082 569 8666, constantia @totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com

Farm outings for school groups Children experience real farm life, get a turn to milk a cow, separate the milk to see where cream comes from, feed animals, ride on a tractor and collect eggs. Time: 9am, Monday–Friday.

Venue: Gan Eden Farm, Vissershok Rd, Durbanville. Cost: R25 per child. Contact Chané: info@gumbootparties.co.za or visit gumbootparties.co.za

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Weekly drumming workshop Children drum and sing to stories and songs, and they play drumming games. For 3–10 year olds.

Time: 1pm and 2:30pm, every Thursday.

Venue: Church of Christ, cnr of Irene Ave and Lourensford Rd, Somerset West. Cost: R45 for 30-minutes or R140 for four consecutive weeks. Contact Lana: 071 871 5839 or lana@ drumkidz.co.za

family outings Blisters for Bread Charity family fun walk 26 August. Time: 8am. Venue: Green Point Cricket Club. Cost: R35 entry.

Contact: 021 511 7130 or visit psfa.org.za Canal Walk’s Big Fashion and Sidewalk Sale 31 July–5 August. Time: 9am–9pm.

Venue: Central Promotions Court and selected stores. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 529 9638 or vanessah@canalwalk.co.za Zip Zap show school fundraisers For Constantia Waldorf. Time: 12pm. For Imhoff Waldorf School: 3pm. Venue: Zip Zap Dome, Founder’s Garden, Jan Smuts Rd, Foreshore.

Cost: R60 for Contsantia Waldorf event; R40 for Imhoff Waldorf event. Contact Constantia Waldorf (Jo): 082 610 9989 or mfuller@mweb.co.za. Contact Imhoff Waldorf (Laurence): 021 783 3056, 072 330 6945 or laurence@imhoffwaldorf.org Kommetjie Health and Lifestyle Fair 9 August. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: Kommetjie Primary School. Cost: adults R20, children under 12 years free. Contact Maggie: 072 425 5990

31 July–5 August – Canal Walk’s Big Fashion and Sidewalk Sale

Oude Molen Distillery MTB Challenge For seasoned experts or rookies. 19 August.

Time: 8am, 60km; 8:30am, 35km; 9am, 10km. Venue: Oude Molen Distillery, Elgin, Grabouw. Cost: R55 for 10km, R110 for 35km and R160 for 60km. Contact: 086 138 3591, entries@stillwatersports.com or visit oudemolenmtbchallenge.co.za Robertson Slow Festival 10–12 August.

Time: varies. Venue: wineries in the Robertson Wine Valley. Cost: varies. Contact: 023 626 3167, manager@robertsonwinevalley.com or visit robertsonslow.com

finding nature and outdoor play Clanwilliam Wild Flower Show 23–29 August. Time: 8:30am–6pm daily. Venue: Clanwilliam Flower Church. Cost: adults R30, pensioners R25 and children R5.

Contact Sue: 027 482 2024/2613 or sue@ patrysvlei.co.za

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Eagle Encounters bird of prey rehabilitation exhibition Interact with falcons, owls, and see a real eagle. 12 August. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: V&A Waterfront Craft Market & Wellness Centre.

Cost: free entry. A donation towards the sanctuary is appreciated when you interact with the birds. Contact: 021 408 7840 Cape Union Mart nature talks 2 August: Multi-day hikes: The Rim of Africa. Nick Bennett discusses how to prepare for multiday hiking as well as suitable gear for different regions and seasons. 22 August: The Black Eagle Project talk. Megan Murgatroyd introduces the black eagles. She’ll also fill you in on her findings. 29 August: The Cape’s Unexpected Visitors: “When Orcas Come to Call” talk. Guest speaker Chris Fallows specialises in shark conservation and marine wildlife photography. The talks are appropriate for ages 6 years and older. Time: 6:15pm for 6:30pm (duration approximately 90 minutes). Venue: Cape Union Mart Adventure Centre, Pod 4, Canal Walk Shopping Centre. Cost: free. For more info: visit capeunionmart.co.za/events Table Mountain Cableway’s Kidz Season special Two children under 18 years ride free when an adult return ticket is purchased over weekends and public holidays until 31 October. Time: 8:30am–5pm, weekends and holidays. Venue: lower cable station, Tafelberg Rd. Cost: R195 for an adult return ticket. Contact: 021 424 8181 or visit tablemountain.net

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Women’s Day surprise The Waterfront Boat Company is offering complimentary tickets to two children with every paying adult, on their one-hour bay cruises throughout August. On Women’s Day, 9 August, all ladies receive 50 percent discount on any of their scheduled cruises. Time: 10am–5pm daily.

Venue: Waterfront Boat Company, Quay 5, V&A Waterfront. Cost: varies. Contact: 021 418 5806, natasha@waterfrontboats.co.za or visit waterfrontboats.co.za

markets City Bowl Market Children can do mosaic and sand art while you browse. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: 14 Hope St, Gardens. Cost: free. Contact: 073 270 8043 or visit citybowlmarket.co.za Earth Fair Food Market @ Noordhoek Village Stock up on fresh produce, cheeses and artisan breads, and enjoy a variety of craft beers, organic wines and stoneground flour crepes. Time: 4pm–9pm, every Thursday. Venue: Noordhoek Farm Village, cnr Village Lane and Main Rd, Noordhoek.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 084 220 3856 or visit earthfairmarket.co.za Nitida Farmers’ Market Shop for specialty goods such as biltong and droëwors, olives and oils, bread dippers and honey, cheese, preserves and freshly baked bread. 25 August. Time: 8am–12:30pm.

Venue: Cassia Restaurant, Nitida Wine Farm, Durbanville. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 651 0699 or visit nitida.co.za

My Favourite Things Baby and Kiddies Market Free talks and classes, welcome packs, books, toys, clothing, accessories, maternity wear, food and lots of fun. 18 August. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Simonsvlei Winery, Old Paarl Rd. Cost: adults R10, children free. Contact Helena: 083 324 9053, helena@myfavouritethings. co.za or visit myfavouritethings.co.za Schoolyard Market Exciting new products are available such as Heart and Home gifts, bunting and children’s décor, a book shop, creative cards, a vintage stall and raw honey products. Children can make their own cupcakes with Crazy Cupcake Creations. 25 August. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Elkanah House, 85 Sunningdale Dr, Sunningdale. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 554 8586, michellej@ elkanah.co.za or visit elkanah.co.za Tokai Earth Fair Market puppet show A fun, interactive and entertaining puppet show for children. 4 August. Time: 10:30am. Venue: Tokai Earth Fair Market, 333 Main Rd, Retreat (same location as Builders Warehouse). The market is behind Bathroom Bizarre. Cost: free. Contact: info@earthfairmarket.co.za

him most, he disappeared. Until now...

25 and 26 August. Time: 8:45am. Venue: Nickelodeon DStv channel 305. For more info: visit nickelodeononafrica.com Brave showing in Disney Digital 3D In the mysterious Scottish highlands, the headstrong Merida defies an age-old custom and inadvertently unleashes chaos, forcing her to discover the meaning of true bravery before it’s too late. Presented by Disney Pixar, this grand adventure is full of heart, humour and memorable characters.

3–9 August. Showing in selected theatres of the major cinemas Disney Friday night movie The Disney Channel broadcasts everyone’s favourite Disney films every Friday. Don’t miss August’s Disney Channel original movie, Let It Shine, on 24 August. Time: 5pm. Venue: Disney Channel on DStv channel 303

on stage and screen Avatar weekend showing on Nickelodeon The Avatar is the master of all four elements, and only he can stop the ruthless Fire Nation from conquering the world. But when the world needed

18 August – My Favourite Things Baby and Kiddies Market

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3 August – Brave showing in Disney Digital 3D

Inhale/Exhale by Ikapa Dance Theatre The show combines the artistic and technical excellence of iKapa choreographers with the unique musical talents of Afropolitan Explosiv. The production was inspired by how universal stories and life experiences cause an emotional reaction that affects one’s breathing. 1–4 August.

Venue: Artscape Arena Theatre. Cost: R50–R100. Book through Webtickets: visit webtickets.co.za

playtime and story time Winnie the Witch’s 25th birthday party at The Book Lounge Celebrate this much-loved character’s birthday with various activities and a special story time.

Winnie and her black cat, Wilbur, have been entertaining children since 1987.

Suitable for children 3–8 years. 18 August.

Time: 11am. Venue: The Book Lounge, 71 Roeland St, Gardens. Cost: free. Contact: 021 462 2425 or booklounge@gmail.com

sport and physical activities Juanita Yazbek School of Dance Exams, eisteddfods, shows and open classes for juniors and adults. For children from 3 years old. Time: Tuesday and Thursday; call to enquire. Venue: Sea Point Montessori School, 83 Kloof Rd, Fresnaye. Cost: varies. Contact: 083 630 6473 or jyazbek@mweb.co.za Kirstenhof Dance and Pilates Studio They offer ballet, modern, hip-hop and Pilates classes for children from age 4 to teens and adult Pilates private or group classes Monday to Friday. Venue: 14 Windhover St, Kirstenhof (close to Blue Route Mall). Contact Liane: 021 701 2750, 082 739 0100 or lianepenny@gmail.com for a free trial lesson Spur High School Mountain Bike League The aim is to create a fun racing environment where riders can compete as individuals while at the same time earn points for their high schools. The top schools qualify for the national finals in September. For 10–18 year olds. 4 August.

Time: 7:30am. Venue: Delvera Farm, R44, Stellenbosch. Cost: R40; entries will be taken on the day. Contact Chantelle: 021 884 4547, info@amarider.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Adult and senior beginner/remedial yoga classes 11 and 25 August. Time: 8:30am–9:30am. Venue: Lila Yoga Studio, 201 Bree St. R65 per person. Contact Nicole: 083 377 9248 or info@lilayogatherapy.com

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Chameleons Montessori Toddler, Preprimary and Primary School open day View their toddler to primary class environments.

Enrolments open for 2013–2015. 28 July. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: Nitida, Durbanville Rd. Cost: free.

Contact: 021 976 9611 or info@ chameleonsmontessori.co.za Child development and parenting skills workshop This four-week course is run by a trained psychologist, who focuses expressly on child development and parenting skills. 15, 22 and 29 August and 5 September. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Tokai. Cost: R1 250.

Contact Catrin: 071 334 5627, catrin@ head-start.co.za or visit head-start.co.za CPR for family and friends The course covers adult, child and infant CPR, and choking. The training is run following the latest international guidelines. They use manikins to maximise hands-on skills practice so that the emphasis is on growing skills confidence. Suitable for 10 years and older. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue. 4 August, Constantiaberg Mediclinic; 18 August, Milnerton Mediclinic. Cost: R250. Contact: 021 705 6459 or training@pec.co.za Discipline for Peace workshops When children are resistant, what positive skills can we use to get their cooperation?

This a series of four workshops teaching positive discipline skills relevant to children of all ages, run by Karen Quail, who has a background in school counselling and teaching. 23 and 30 August, 6 and 13 September. Time: 7pm–9:30pm. Venue: Constantia Waldorf School. Cost: R1 000 per person, R1 750 per couple. Contact Karen: 021 696 1946, sms 076 303 5324 or karoy@mweb.co.za Elf Montessori teacher training open day Visit the centre to find out more about what you can do with a career in early childhood development. 7 August.

Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Elf offices, suite 101, 28 Main Rd, Mowbray. Cost: free.

Contact Claire or Shamiemah: 021 685 8119, elfsecretary@gmail.com or visit elfmontessori.co.za Jan van Riebeeck Primary School open day 14 August. Time: 6pm. Venue: 52 Kloof St. Cost: free. Contact: 021 423 4209, louisem@jvrprim.co.za or visit jvrprim.co.za Leading and Developing Myself workshop – module 1 With the help of a facilitator, you gain a deeper understanding of who you are and where your reactions come from, which helps you to be more open in seeing where others are coming from when in contact with you. 24 and 25 August. Module 2 takes place on 21 and 22 September. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Contract South Africa training venue, 125 Buitengracht St. Cost: R3 200 for both modules. Contact Eileen: 021 409 7043 or eileen.hake@contract-sa.co.za Learn CPR and save a life Paediatric nursing sister Lee-Ann White runs a CPR course for parents, childminders and au pairs. Discovery Health members earn Vitality points for attending. 25 August.

Time: 9:30am–12:30pm. Venue: Pinelands.

Cost: R220 per person. Contact Lee-Ann: 021 531 4182 or 072 283 7132 magazine cape town

Montessori teacher training and information sessions Register for 2013 enrolments. 22 August. Time: 6pm–7:30pm.

Venue: Auburn House Montessori School, 3 Auburn Rd, Kenilworth. To book: info@ montessorisa.co.za Nanny cooking and baking classes These small classes teach beginner or advanced students how to cook healthy and nutritious family meals. Students also learn how to measure and weigh. 7 and 8 August. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: 175 Beach Rd, Three Anchor Bay. Cost: R1 400 for four mornings. Contact Janis: 021 434 1721, 082 319 9215, cookwithjanis@gmail.com or visit nicetouch.co.za Nanny training course This is an invaluable course, run by a trained psychologist who focuses on child development. 10, 17, 24 and 31 August. Time: 9am–11:30am.

Venue: Tokai. Cost: R1 350. Contact Catrin: 071 334 5627, catrin@head-start.co.za or visit head-start.co.za Open day at the German International School Cape Town (DSK) 2 August.

Time: tbc. Venue: DSK, 28 Bay View Ave, Tamboerskloof. Cost: free. Contact Bettina: 021 480 3861, admissions@dsk.co.za or visit dsk.co.za Parent Centre moms-to-be and momsand-babies group Time: 10am–12pm, every Thursday. Venue: Kingsbury Maternity Hospital, Maternity section, 2nd floor, Wilderness Rd, Claremont. Cost: R40, including refreshments. Contact: 021 762 0116 or zaiboe@theparentcentre.org.za Parents, Take Charge! workshop Sandy Gluckman gives parents the skills they need to help their children overcome their learning, behavioural and mood challenges, preferably without the use of drugs. The interactive workshop provides the newest research as well as teaching skills to be used at home by parents. 22 August. Time: 8:30am–12:30pm. Venue: tbc. Cost: R695–R995. For more info: visit parentstakecharge.com Raising an Amazing Child lecture series: reading 1 and 2 The series contains comprehensive exercises that give your child a head-start in reading, maths, developing self-discipline and, ultimately, a love of learning. These two lectures aim to teach your child how to read. 25 August and 1 September. Time: 9:30am–12pm. Venue: Elf Montessori, 28 Main Rd, Mowbray. Cost: R200 per lecture.

For more info: visit elfmontessori.co.za The Building Blocks of Resilience workshop The workshop is based on the work of Maggie Dent, who emphasises

24 and 25 August and 21 and 22 September – Leading and Developing Myself workshop

a holistic approach to parenting that encourages connectedness, character and compassion with children. This workshop explores the building blocks that help children 0–12 years old build healthy self-esteem and strengthen a child’s ability to be resilient. 8 August. Time: 7pm–9pm. Venue: Roodenburg House, 74 Campground Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: R200 per parent or R300 per couple. Contact Stephanie: 083 567 5572 or steph@ familywellnessconsulting.co.za The Right-Brain Business Plan An introduction to creative business planning, which shows you how to approach business planning by using your natural creative gifts. 22 August. Time: 9am–5pm.

Venue: Constellation House, 5 Oakvale Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: R950, which includes the book, materials, lunch and a follow-up coaching session. Early birds who pay by 20 July get R150 off. Contact: yael@yaelduncan. com or visit rightbrainbusinessplan.com Toastmasters Breakfast Club The club meets every Wednesday morning and provides a mutually supportive and positive learning environment in which every member has the opportunity to develop communication and leadership skills. 1, 8, 15, 22 and 29 August. Time: 7:15am–9am.

Venue: The Mugg & Bean Coffee Shop, Cavendish Square, Claremont. Cost: R50 per person, which includes bottomless coffee and breakfast. Contact Marion: 076 236 4326, marion.toastmasters@gmail. com or visit toastmasters74.org

on stage and screen Kat & the Kings staged at the Fugard Theatre David Kramer and Taliep Petersen’s smash hit musical comes home to District 6. Set in South Africa in the 1950s, the sensational musical explores the journey of Kat Diamond, who is convinced that he is the best singer and dancer in District Six. Ends 1 September. Time: 8pm, Tuesday–Friday; 4pm and 8pm, Saturday. Venue: The Fugard Theatre. Cost: R100–R130. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000

out and about

4 August – Spur High School Mountain Bike League

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Enjoy a morning of pampering Have champagne and snacks, and indulge in the magic effect of horses, while being pampered with mini massages, reflexology, make-up consultations and manicures. 4 August. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: Clara Anna Fontein, Durbanville. Cost: R385 per person. Contact: 083 278 7382, info@ reflectionz.co.za or visit reflectionz.co.za August 2012

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calendar Franschhoek mystery weekend Have a range of Franschhoek experiences on a couple’s weekend. You have no idea where you’re staying, where you’re eating or what other experiences are in store for you. The weekend includes accommodation, eating out, wine tasting and an event. 10 and 11 August. Time: varies. Venue: Franschhoek Wine Valley. Cost: R1 850 per couple. Contact: 021 876 2861 or office@franschhoek.org.za Nedbank Cape Winemakers Guild Auction Showcase Members of the Guild present the wines that go under the hammer at this year’s Nedbank Cape Winemakers Guild Auction in October.

23 August. Time: 6pm–9pm. Venue: Cape Town International Convention Centre. Cost: R170 per person, including a tasting glass. Contact: 021 852 0408, info@capewinemakersguild.com or visit webtickets.co.za Nine-to-Five Mountain Bike Team Relay Juniors of two and teams of four

18 August – Painting pleasure

riders try to complete as many 7km laps as possible in an eight-hour period. For 17–19 year olds. 9 August. Time: 7:30am.

Venue: Delvera Farm, R44, Stellenbosch.

Cost: R110–R165 per rider, depending on the category with discounts for Amarider members. Pre-entries only. Contact: 021 884 4752, info@dirtopia.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za Old Cape Wine Shop August tastings 4 August: Secateurs Wines. 11 August: Idiom wines. 18 August: Excelsior wines.

25 August: Riebeek Cellars. Time: 11am.

Venue: Imhoff Farm, Kommetjie. Cost: free.

Contact: 021 783 5054 or info@ocws.co.za Painting pleasure Incorporates an introduction to drawing and colour mixing as well as drawing and painting a still life with guidance from Strand-based artist Marissa Slingerland. The second half of the day is devoted to paint pouring, an expressive form of painting that uses no brushes, led by Hermanus-based artist Cathy de Villiers. 18 August. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Charlie Cook’s, Cape Garden Centre, cnr R44 between Somerset West and Stellenbosch and Winery Rd. Cost: R550 per person, all inclusive.

Contact Charlene: 083 666 1480 or visit creativeretreats.co.za Totalsports Ladies Race on Women’s Day Enter the 5km run/walk or the 10km run/walk. Moms with prams are welcome.

There are prizes up for grabs. 9 August. Time: 8am. Venue: starts in Plein St, Stellenbosch;

The Wedding Expo

31 fri

ends at Coetzenburg Stadium, Stellenbosch.

Cost: R57 or R68,40. Contact: 021 511 7130 or visit totalsports.co.za Unleashing the creative goddess on Women’s Day Creativity is encouraged through art-making and communication.

9 August. Time 2pm–4pm. Venue: 10 Bronnies Way, Diep River. Cost: R150.

Contact Leigh: 079 525 8991, leigh@ justlove.co.za or visit justlove.co.za Wine pairing special at the fivestar Saffron Restaurant Wines from Blaauwklippen have been carefully selected to accompany a sumptuous dinner created by chef Darren Stewart, who serves world cuisine with an African twist. Seafood is sourced locally wherever possible and

Sarah Haywood, Britain’s top celebrity wedding planner, discusses the latest international wedding trends and shares her top tips for successful wedding planning. Local industry experts join her in offering advice on bridal fashion, jewellery, make-up, and table décor. 31 August. Time: 8am.

Venue: The Cellars-Hohenort Hotel, Constantia. Cost: R350 per person, which includes high tea, a goodie bag and a chance to win in the various lucky draws. For more info: visit wedding-expo.co.za

traditional South African favourites also feature on the menu. 24–26 August.

Time: 7pm–10pm. Venue: Abalone House, Kriedoring St, Bekbaai, Paternoster. Cost: R250 per person. Contact: 022 752 2044, info@abalonehouse.co.za or visit abalonehouse.co.za

support groups BP Kids A support group for parents whose children have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Psychologist Dr Bruce Bradfield is an expert host on the website and is available to address your concerns.

There is a Facebook group page called Bipolar Kids South Africa. For more info: visit bpkidssouthafrica.co.za

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Compassionate Friends This is a nonprofit support group for those who are learning to cope after the death of a child. 13 August. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: Constantiaberg Medi-Clinic, Burnham Rd, Plumstead. Contact Barry: 082 410 3643.

15 August. Time: 3pm. Venue: Red Cross Children’s Hospital. Contact Suzette: 084 568 8402. 18 August. Time: 6pm. Venue: Bellville Library. Contact Suzette: 084 568 8402. 18 August. Time: 3:30pm. Venue: Kuilsriver. Contact Marietta: 082 820 3425 Epilepsy SA They have counselling services and support groups have been formed.

Contact: 021 703 9420, wcape@epilepsy. org.za or visit epilepsy.org.za Postnatal Depression Support Association Contact: sms “help” and your name to 082 882 0072 for them to contact you. Contact head office: 021 797 4498 or visit pndsa.org.za South African Inherited Disorders Association An umbrella organisation for support groups of most inherited disorders.

For more info: visit saida.org.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Baba Indaba 3–5 August. Time: 9am– 5pm. Venue: Cape Town International Convention Centre. Cost: adults R60, children from 6 years R20, under 6 years free. For more info: visit babaindaba.co.za

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Babyproof your Relationship workshop They concentrate on areas that help keep your relationship healthy and happy by making you aware of the stumbling blocks a relationship can face and learning to communicate about these issues in an appropriate way. 18 and 25 August. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: southern suburbs. Cost: R1 290 per couple.

Contact Catrin: 071 334 5627, catrin@ head-start.co.za or visit head-start.co.za ER24 paediatric first aid training The course is focused on parents-to-be, parents, nannies, caregivers, au pairs and teachers, because the training is geared towards paediatric emergencies.

Time: 9am–3pm. Venues: 28 July and 25 August: Cape Town Mediclinic and Durbanville Mediclinic. 4 August and 1 September: Milnerton Mediclinic and Cape Gate Mediclinic. 25 August and 22 September: Panorama Mediclinic. Cost: R300, including a manual. Contact: 074 337 0704 or daniele.milner@er24.co.za Kidz Discovery baby and toddler mother and child groups Age-appropriate child development sessions. Morning and afternoon class times are age dependent so email your baby’s specific details through to get onto their lists as soon as possible.

For children 3 months–5 years. Time and cost: call to enquire. Venue: The Drive, Camps Bay. Contact Kathy: 083 654 2494, info@kidzdiscovery.co.za or visit kidzdiscovery.co.za

Moms and Babes Claremont Mom and baby stimulation classes. Moms can enrol at any time. Age groups 2–5, 6–9 and 9–12 months. Time: 10am and 3pm, Monday– Thursday. Venue: Claremont. Cost: call to enquire. Contact Di: 082 746 3223 or reesdi@mweb.co.za Original Play workshop Learn about the art of play from Dr Fred Donaldson, the author of Playing By Heart, who is world-renowned for developing his Original Play workshops through playing with bears, wolves, autistic children and children in general. 11 and 12 August. Time: 8:30am. Venue: Stellenbosch Waldorf School, Spier Wine Farm, Annandale Rd. Cost: R700 per day. Contact Douwe: 082 575 2731, dvanderzee7@gmail.com or visit douwevanderzee.co.za Practica Brain Development from Birth Onwards This workshop gives ideas on how to stimulate your baby or toddler’s fast developing brain. 1 and 22 August.

Time: 10am–10:30am. Venue: Somerset Mall Belli Baby and Beyond Clinic. Cost: R30, which includes an activity pack to take home. Contact: 082 849 9505 or bosvark@ webmail.co.za Prenatal yoga classes Gentle postures, breathing work and meditation to cultivate flexibility, calm and confidence in preparation for labour and childbirth.

Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm, every Thursday.

Venue: Lila Yoga Studio, 201 Bree St. Cost: R80 per class; R295 for five-class pass; R550 for 10 classes. Contact: 083 377 9248,

nicole@lila-yogatherapy.com or visit lilayogatherapy.com The Mama Bamba Way antenatal weekend workshop Birth preparation classes for creating an empowering and transformative birth experience for women, their partners and their babies. The course consists of 15 hours’ group instruction. Maximum five couples per class. 25 and 26 August. Time: 10am–5pm.

Venue: Constantia. Cost: R1 650 per couple, which includes a manual, a book and a CD. Contact Robyn: 021 712 0298, robyn@mamabamba.com or visit mamabamba.com

playtime and story time Music, movement and percussion classes for babies and toddlers Small classes combine singing, movement and rhythm using percussion instruments. For children 6–18 months and 18 months– 3 years. Time: 9am and 10:30am. Venues:

3–5 August – Baba Indaba

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calendar Wriggle and Rhyme Bergvliet, Constantia, Sun Valley and Wynberg. Cost: R390 per term plus a joining fee. Contact Kirsty: 079 740 4561, info@wriggleandrhyme.co.za or visit wriggleandrhyme.co.za Sea Point Library story time Story time is designed for preschoolers and younger.

Time: 10am–11am, every Wednesday.

Venue: cnr Glengariff Rd and Main Rd, Sea Point. Contact: 021 439 7440/1 Mom, dad and toddler yoga play.

11 and 25 August. Time: 10am–10:35am.

Venue: Lila Yoga Studio, 201 Bree St. Cost: R95 for parent and toddler. Contact Nicole: 083 377 9248 or info@lila-yogatherapy.com

support groups Hi Hopes A home-based early intervention partner for families with deaf or hard1 and 22 August – Practica Brain Development from Birth Onwards

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of-hearing children aged from birth to 3 years old. Contact Renee: 021 949 9388, 076 891 8188, wc@hihopes.co.za or visit http://hihopes.co.za Little Miracle support group For parents of premature babies. Contact: 0861 548 853, info@littlemiracle.co.za or visit littlemiracle.co.za Postnatal Depression Support Association The organisation offers help for moms and their families. You can also join the chat group. Contact national helpline: sms “help” and your name to 082 882 0072 for them to contact you. Contact head office: 021 797 4498 or visit pndsa.org.za

how to help Atlantic Hope Gala Dinner This safe house for vulnerable and abandoned babies hosts its first gala dinner on 30 August.

Funds raised will benefit abandoned newborns and infants. The evening features guest speaker Dr Marlene Wasserman. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: Romney Park Hotel and Spa, Green Point. Cost: R250. Contact: 021 434 8514, 083 312 4044, marilyn@ atlantichope.co.za or atlantichope.co.za Cavendish charity book sale Help the almost 30 participating NGOs. Shop for secondhand books, DVDs, CDs and puzzles.

23–26 August. Time: 9am–7pm. Venue: Cavendish Square, Claremont. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 657 5620

National Transplant Games This two-day event sees athletes who have received organ and bone marrow transplants compete in multi-sports events. This year 20 children will participate. August is Organ Donor Month. 17 and 18 August. Time: varies.

Venue: Kings Park Athletic Stadium and Kings Park Aquatic Centre, Durban. Cost: free for spectators. Contact Heilie: 082 465 0936 or visit transplantsports.org.za Reach for your Slippers fundraiser Show your support for Reach for a Dream and buy a sticker from Milady’s stores.

Wear your slippers to work and children can wear slippers to school. 3 August. Cost: R10 for the sticker. Contact: 021 555 301 or visit reachforadream.org.za The Goodsport Trust This non-profit organisation provides physical education and sports coaching to seven schools within the South Peninsula. By providing physical education in schools, they help children to reach their potential while helping people from communities to build their careers in coaching. To donate: visit goodsport.org.za The Reading Workshop This non-profit organisation assists young and old who

The Stars in Education

struggle to read or who want to learn to read. They need volunteers and books. They collect books on Wednesday and Thursday, or you can drop books off. For more info: 083 463 4327 or visit readinghelpers.co.za The Stars in Education The annual competition recognises the achievements of teachers who have gone above and beyond their duties in the classroom. Help build excellence in education by submitting your candidate for the award. Entries close 31 August. You can enter community projects that are managed or have been started by exceptional teachers. Contact: 021 865 2813, info@argo.org.za or visit ed.org.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to lucille@childmag.co.za or fax it to 021 462 2680. Information must be received by 3 August 2012 for the September issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

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it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

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it’s party time

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finishing touch

working from home It’s time to set the record straight about what stay-at-home moms and those on maternity leave really do all day, says ANÉL LEWIS.

i

spotted a fantastic “what society thinks I do/what I actually do” photo story about stay-at-home moms on a parenting website that really struck a chord. It has six frames, starting with “what society thinks I do” – an image of a woman sitting on the couch, in comfortable slippers, reading a magazine. The next frame, “what my mom thinks I do”, is of a mother working on her computer, while her angelic baby plays quietly next to her. In another frame, “what my husband wishes I did”, a beautifully-groomed wife is making a delicious home-cooked meal. And then, in the final frame, “what I actually do”, there is a harried-looking mother with a baby in each arm.

I can relate. Except in my case, the final image would be me with a soggy Vienna stuck in my unwashed hair and curdled

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milk vomit on my shoulder; a crying baby in one arm and a toddler clinging to the other. Although I am not a stay-at-home mom, I have been at home for the past few months on maternity leave and the photo story, or meme, is just as apt.

There is a gross misconception out there that maternity leave is a glorious three-month break from work, where mothers get to spend idyllic hours bonding with their babies.

A friend, who happens to be male, remarked recently when I complained about being tired, “But you’re on maternity leave. Don’t you just lie in bed all day with your babies?”

Er... not quite.

Firstly my “day” starts early, like 2am in the morning kind of early. Conor, my twomonth old, has his day and night confused,

so he does most of his feeding in the wee hours of the morning. He usually dozes off at about 5am, but Erin is awake by 7am, so there is no chance of that supposed lie-in.

Secondly, as I am not technically “working”, I do most of the night-time feeds so that my husband can get a decent night’s sleep. But even though I may not spend my day in an office, doing an eightto-five job, I don’t think I have ever worked harder. My day is a seemingly endless slog of bottles, laundry and cleaning.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s a job that I love doing. I really do enjoy spending this precious time with my children. My beef is not with the work load as such, but with the perception that moms who stay at home are on some kind of sabbatical.

There is definitely no time for lazy lie-ins or daytime TV. The closest I come

to watching television is checking the screen on Conor’s baby monitor while he’s having a nap. Also, that notion of “sleep while your baby sleeps” is a fallacy. I have more chance of qualifying for the London Olympic Games than I have of getting Erin and Conor to sleep at the same time, just so that I can catch forty winks.

I also don’t get much opportunity to break away for mid-morning sessions at the gym, or afternoon coffee dates with friends, despite what my husband sometimes thinks.

No, maternity leave is definitely not a holiday. In fact, I am thinking of cutting mine short, so that I can go back to work for some rest.

Anél Lewis is Child magazine’s features editor. She’s back at work after a wonderful, but busy, four months on maternity leave.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SUSIE LEBLOND

Anél and Erin