Child Magazine | Cape Town November 2010

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

rands & sense

raising young entrepreneurs

who’s the boss The downside of being your child’s best buddy

tongue twister encouraging bilingualism in your toddler

toddlers +

teenagers miss perfect the link between the model child and eating disorders

www.childmag.co.za

November 2010

free

health

education

entertainment

I love November.

Yes, there are only about 25 school days left in the year, and it’s by far the busiest and most stressful term – but it’s the last term. And that means awe-inspiring year-end concerts, carols by candlelight, awards ceremonies (short, I hope), last-minute fundraisers and, finally, graduations.

Although I am staring rather wide-eyed at the coming month and the work that’ll need to be done, I am also looking forward to it.

I consider the opportunity to work with my children’s schools a privilege. Sure, there’s the odd occasion it feels more like an obligation but, mostly, it’s fun. I have thoroughly enjoyed serving drinks and chatting to people at the welcome evening for new parents or standing behind a trestle table spooning tomato relish into boerewors rolls at the school fête.

However, enduring a couple of hours of braai smoke in your eyes is a breeze compared to what goes into getting a six-year-old ready for an end-of-year ballet concert – especially if, like me, you hate sewing. I remember only too well the year my youngest needed to be transformed into a shimmery red starfish: luckily the woman at the fabric shop steered me towards a material made for moms like me. Sure I had to painstakingly sew the two halves together by hand (I don’t have a sewing machine), but the non-fray material meant all I needed to do to “hem” the costume was hold the edge of the fabric over a candle’s flame and voilà, the sea creature’s extremities were sealed!

I think the ballet teacher got a little stage fright of her own on seeing my handiwork… but luckily the sequined outfit looked suitably dazzling from the audience.

Enjoy your November.

Hunter House PUB L IS H ING

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Elaine Eksteen • elaine@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za

monthly circulation Cape Town’s Child magazineTM 45 153 Joburg’s Child magazineTM 52 666 Durban’s Child magazineTM 40 792

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Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Senior Designer Samantha Summerfield • sam@childmag.co.za Designers Mariette Barkhuizen • mariette@childmag.co.za Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za

Advertising Director Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

Client Relations Client Relations Manager Michele Jones • michele@childmag.co.za Client Relations Consultant Lisa Waterloo • capetown@childmag.co.za Taryn Copeman • taryn@childmag.co.za

To Subscribe Helen Xavier • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Helen Xavier • helen@childmag.co.za Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

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Cape Town’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios, cnr Wesley and Canterbury Streets, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 021 465 6093, fax: 021 462 2680, email: capetown@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Cape Town’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may arise from reading them.

November 2010

contents

november 2010 37 so not funny

nearly teens tell Leonora Found about

parent-habits that embarrass them

upfront 3

a note from lisa

6

ver to you o readers respond

38 anorexia – a parent’s guide

Karen Robertson investigates how this

eating disorder can be prevented

10 straight up

E laine Eksteen discovers her toddler’s penchant for art galleries

42 surviving namibia

Christina Castle and her family earn

their stripes as campers

health 12 burning up

Marina Zietsman looks at fevers in babies 14 c an you hear me now your child’s MP3 player may be affecting his hearing, says Lucille Kemp

14

features

regulars 7

wins

11 u pfront with paul a nervous Paul Kerton reflects on his little girl becoming a teen

18 on the money

Jeanne Maclay-Mayers gives tips on how to raise little entrepreneurs

16

dealing with difference one child has a learning difference, the other doesn’t. Nina Mensing looks at how to cope as a family

22 fight or fantasy

are electronic games making children

aggressive? Glynis Horning investigates

44 r esource toddler-friendly restaurants and summer camps for teens

26 talk, khuluma, praat...

Tracy Ellis on raising a bilingual or multilingual child 30 handmade with love

Tamlyn Vincent shares great ideas

for home-made teacher’s gifts 32 parent or tall friend

t he downside to being your child’s best buddy. By Donna Cobban 34

making sense of curriculum changes Donna Cobban looks into Schooling 2025 and what it means for your child

50 a good read

new books for the whole family 54 what’s on in november 70 l ast laugh Sam Wilson gives the okay on parents under-parenting occasionally

classified ads 62 family marketplace 67 it’s party time

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

Jacadi (Hyde Park, Joburg) Contact: 011 325 6077

November 2010

thinkstockphotos.com

thinkstockphotos.com

magazine cape town

feature

magazine cape town

November 2010

letters

over to you family ties When I read the article “what not to ask” in the October issue of Child magazine, I felt compelled to share my perspective.

I have three amazing children: two biological sons aged 12 and 4 and an adopted little girl, who’s two and a half.

I, too, have faced the intrusions and comments the women expressed in the article. I have, however, chosen to respond in a different way.

My daughter is from a different ethnic group to us. We have come across a lot of prejudice but it has been incredible to watch this little girl challenge people’s paradigms and melt hearts. While the constant stares and questions at first bothered me, I quickly realised I had a choice. I can either put up a wall or I can engage. In a country that has thousands of orphans, I feel a responsibility to encourage the decision to adopt. I honour my daughter’s birth mother and, as tough as it is to answer the question about my daughters “real” mother, I have chosen to engage in the conversations.

Only by opening up to others can we make society see multi-ethnic families as normal. It has been our privilege to enjoy the presence of this wonderful angel and has forever changed our family into what I deem to be perfect.

Anonymous

dealing with difference Thank you for raising awareness through the many articles printed in Child magazine about spectrum disorders. My son, now seven years, was diagnosed with PDD (NOS) [pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified]. It has been an incredibly challenging but rewarding journey with many difficult times but also plenty of happy moments.

I would like to thank the different people who I have met on this journey parenting

and who have assisted me in coping with all the challenges. Many of these have been colleagues at work who have offered their advice and support and, in so doing, have given me the strength to continue.

At the beginning of this year I moved my son from a special-needs school to a mainstream school and, at first, the wheels came off. The school, relatives, friends and colleagues assisted and supported us without hesitation. The result is a confident little boy – and so I do agree [with the author of the October blog] that it takes a village to raise a spectrum child.

Melanie Lewis This year, our 10-year-old son, Matthew, was finally diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as well as dyspraxia. It has been quite a journey to this point. He is a high-functioning child, who is very bright, and has a wonderful sense of humour. He has been in a mainstream school since the start, but he has always danced to the beat of a different drum. The lesson our family has learnt this year is to celebrate our specific talents and the gifts that make us unique. Matthew has discovered a passion and an extraordinary talent for drawing. He may never be a sporty child, may never be able to play a musical instrument or be a star on stage, but his gift sets him apart and brings us all immense joy.

For years we have focused on his weaknesses. We have tried to no avail to encourage him to be “normal” – to sit still, look at someone in the eyes when he talks to them, say “hello” when someone greets him – these are things that don’t come naturally to him. He is slowly learning social rules and though he looks rather awkward and is easy to poke fun at, he has a gentle, fragile little soul inside.

My prayer is that we learn to see each other’s abilities, rather than disabilities.

I think this is a valuable lesson for everyone, and I’m eternally grateful that my beautiful son gets to teach me that every day.

Nikki Loans

spring clean and donate

what not to ask

s-racially are often the Families who adopt cros tiny. DONNA COBBAN scru d ante unw of s subject e parents about the thes speaks to a few of can cause. ing prob this ss stre

I was driving home with my children the other day, thinking about cleaning out their cupboards and donating their toys to charity. I want to teach my little girl about giving, and that there are poor and needy people out there. During the drive I was wondering where I could take her to teach her about the gift of giving. Later that evening I started reading your September issue and found

all the information I needed on charities and where to donate unwanted items – what a great coincidence! Thanks for the help.

Traci

understanding today’s youth I consider myself fortunate to have been on a recent Positive Parenting Skills workshop. How I wish that all parents could attend – in today’s challenging times we need all the help we can get!

It was a journey of self-discovery for the group, and definitely an eye-opener.

It taught us how important it is to lead by example. So often we forget that in order to be respected by our children, we first need to treat them with respect and we need to acknowledge their

feelings. The practical exercises made us relate to how our children need us as pillars to fall back on, but sometimes we have to give way so that they can grow independently.

The way that we speak to our children can either make or break them. If spoken to lovingly, the results can only be good.

We all need our space, and firstly need to take a step back to be in a positive state of mind (especially when we are tired or angered) so that we don’t cause permanent unnecessary harm. Words are powerful.

Sure, everybody makes mistakes, but our children are depending on us to learn from these and to never give up on them.

Shereen Hendricks

being a gifted child

a psychological evaluation, or more

I am 13 years old and go to a school

simply, an IQ test.

for gifted learners. I read your article

Two weeks later, my whole life

on gifted children (in the August 2010

changed. The results proved I was a

issue) and thought your readers might

gifted or high-potential learner. I had

want to know what it’s like to be

four options:

gifted…

Option 1: skip a grade

“Grace! Focus, please! Now class,

Option 2: carry on doing what I

does anyone have any other topic-

was doing

related questions?”

Option 3: get extension lessons

“I’m sorry, sir, but I read it somewhere and was wondering if it

Option 4: go to a special school.

Option 2 was ruled out immediately.

If there was a way out of my personal

was true.”

“Well, you can learn about that next

hell, I was going for it. We next ruled

year. We are trying to accommodate

out option 1. I was in Grade 7 in a

the needs of the whole class, and the

primary school; which high school

majority doesn’t understand yet, so

would allow me to skip a grade and

stop trying to get ahead.”

accept me with my bad grades? So,

This was the norm during a school

we settled for option 4.

lesson. School used to be hell – from

I fitted in immediately. Everyone

the boring lessons to making friends.

understood me. I couldn’t believe

I didn’t fit into any of the crowds,

school could be like this – the rude

and my marks were average. It didn’t

students were missing, as well as

make any sense. Other learners would

the unreasonable teachers and the

achieve averages of 90 percent, yet I

boring work! I will be going in to

could spell more difficult words and

Grade 8 in 2011, where we’ll follow

solve more complex maths problems

the Cambridge school system. This

than they could.

means that we don’t have to finish a

My parents always used to tell

grade at a certain time. My goal is to

me I was clever, and up until Grade

finish grade 8 and 9 in 2011, and then

5 I believed them. It wasn’t only my

grades 10, 11 and 12 in 2012 and

parents that were disappointed. I was

2013, therefore finishing school at 16.

too. At the end of one particularly bad

I have found my second home!

year (Grade 6), my mom took me for

Grace

write to us We would like to know what’s on your mind. Send your letters to: marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

meet the families:

aged two and two adopted daughters mother and father to to arrive Laurie* and Craig*, baby number three due kitted out for adopted three, with a room being year. before the end of the

November 2010

ed daughter, both mothers to an adopt Heather* and Catherine*, girl expected soon. a second adopted baby

aged three, with

five d son and daughter, aged

magazine cape town

wins

giveawaysin november sleep over!

Kidz Get Wild is an American-style children’s holiday camp for sevento 14-year-olds, with one guardian to every five children and 24-hour supervision. There are more than 100 activities, which include archery, paintball, climbing, abseiling, a foefie slide, nature hikes, bush craft, raft building, drumming and movie making. Overnight camps take place during all school holidays, and there are also day camps. Kidz Get Wild camp is in Tulbagh, just one hour from Cape Town. Book now for 12–19 December (seven-, four- or two-day options), 5–9 January (four- or two-day options) and 9–16 January (seven-, four- or two-day options). For more information contact 021 712 6715 or visit kgw.co.za Five readers of Cape Town’s Child each stand a chance to win a two-day camp over the December/January school holidays including a camper pack (T-shirt, water bottle and stickers), valued at R790. To enter, email your details to ctchild@kgw.co.za with “KGW Win” in the subject line before 30 November 2010. Only one entry per reader.

chic rooms Treehouse Children’s Décor Company has everything you need for children’s rooms, including bedding, curtaining, furniture, soft furnishings and accessories. The fabric used is 100 percent cotton percale and the furniture and accessories are lead free. They also offer a customising service for bedding and curtains not available in their ranges. Visit the stores at Cavendish Square, Claremont (021 671 1611); High Street Shopping Village in Durbanville (021 914 4935); or Habitat Centre in Somerset West (021 851 4768); or go to treehouse.co.za to shop online. For more information contact 021 591 1900 or info@treehouse.co.za One reader of Cape Town’s Child stands a chance to win a R2 000 gift voucher from Treehouse. To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with “Treehouse CT Win” in the subject line or post your entry to Treehouse CT Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 30 November 2010. Only one entry per reader.

By entering this competition you agree to Hunter House Publishing supplying your contact details to the company providing the win and/or their agents and you may receive marketing communication from them, as a result.

magazine cape town

these shoes are made for walking Children spend hours each week in their school shoes. Add to this the fact that our bones continue to grow until the age of 25, and it becomes vital that children wear quality shoes. For more than 30 years Green Cross has collaborated with orthopaedic experts to develop the perfect anatomical school shoe, which helps support and conform to the shape of the foot, ensuring growing bones and joints are not damaged or distorted and are instead allowed the freedom to develop naturally. The shoes are designed to be comfortable, flexible and long lasting. For more information visit green-cross.com Five readers of Cape Town’s Child stand a chance to win a Green Cross voucher for a pair of school shoes valued between R180 and R335. To enter, email your details to win@ childmag.co.za with “Green Cross CT Win” in the subject line or post your entry to Green Cross CT Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 30 November 2010. Only one entry per reader.

congratulations to our september winners Jill Dollie who wins a getaway to De Hoop; Bridget Armitage who wins a FatSak; Nawaal Dreyer who wins in the Toddler Sense giveaway; Kay Macnab who wins Lovebug teething amber beads; Biba Jeppe, Jordana Smith, Abigail Rauch and Sharon Albertyn who each win a Mexican Bola.

November 2010

straight up

got child, will travel…

ELAINE EKSTEEN discovers that

w

hat happens when two people who love to travel to foreign lands – so they can explore medieval villages, spend hours in art museums and listen to live classical music – have a baby…

Well, if they’re us, then they put indulging these passions on hold. One bloodcurdling local flight on the way back from visiting grandparents up north was nearly enough to put us off flying with our son for life!

But, before too long, the earache (ours and his) had faded and our wanderlust had got the better of us. So, we gingerly booked plane tickets to Europe, took a deep breath, and off we went.

Much to our surprise our 21-monthold seemed to enjoy art exhibitions nearly as much as his parents! Who would have guessed there’d be so many dogs, horses,

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November 2010

birds and “babas” in the paintings in the Louvre and Musée d’Orsay – our son was delighted. As if poring over the pages of a giant storybook, he’d look and point and add appropriate sound effects to accompany the works of Monet, Rodin, Delacroix and Degas. Sometimes spotting things we’d not yet noticed. While standing in front of a large canvas by Rubens at a once in a lifetime exhibition in a church in Antwerp, our son let out a rather loud roar!

I was about to admonish him for being inappropriately noisy, when I followed his eyes – these were glued to the sculpture of a large lion behind us.

Although it’s unlikely he’ll remember seeing any of the masterpieces he was privileged to experience we hope that something of our love for art will have been passed on to him.

Sure there were tricky moments – like when he wanted to blow out the candles so carefully lit by others in the Church of Our Lady in Bruges. Or when he seemed intent on leopard crawling underneath the rope boundary around the pendulum clock swinging from the ceiling in the Pantheon in Paris. And there were most certainly tantrums that demanded fast exits from “quiet” places. But overall he was a star.

One of the plusses of travelling with a toddler is that you are ushered to the front of some very long queues. Such as the must have been 2000-person-strong snaking line at immigration at Charles de Gaulle airport – sadly we were then delayed for hours due to a lost wheel on our baby buggy (but that’s another story!). Plus you get to experience and

learn things you might never have, had you taken Ouma up on her offer to take care of her grandson for the time you were away. We’d probably never have found out how much fun it is to ride on the carousel in Paris’s Jardin des Plantes, or how cool a public park really can be – think zip line, spinning flying saucerstyle merry-go-rounds, and climbing frames that look like forests complete with treetop canopies.

And we’ve gathered priceless memories. We’ll always smile when we think of how, while being pushed in his pram between an extremely impressive toyshop window and a window box brimming with flowers, our son – seemingly oblivious to the train sets and tricycles – pointed to the purple petals and said “mooi”.

Beautiful indeed!

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: DANIE EKSTEEN

toddlers like art museums too.

upfront with paul

yikes, it’s happening PAUL KERTON on the white-knuckle ride of parenting the pubescent.

PHOTOGRAPH: JILL BADER

i

remember rubbing sun cream on my daughter’s body last year, as I have done for the previous 10 summers, thinking to myself: this might be the last time I will be doing this.

Sure enough, as the clock struck midnight on her eleventh birthday her body exploded into a pre-pubescent tsunami of hormones with stark evidence of pending womanhood. To be honest, I know the onset of puberty is getting earlier and earlier, but I thought it might have had the decency to wait another year. No such luck.

No more carefree wandering about the house naked; privacy is suddenly the biggest issue of the moment. (Notice: hers, not mine. She still idly rattles on about Justin Bieber while I’m in the bath).

Her bedroom door now spends most of its time tightly shut, with her performing a lightning tuck into the foetal position should I unwittingly enter at a “bad” time.

magazine cape town

I now knock first before opening with a polite: “are you decent?”

Mom and daughter huddle for semisecretive whispery chats about “girl’s stuff” and “cycles”, and not the kind you ride in the Argus. I have to remind them that I did produce a cool teenage magazine called wicked, and have enormous insight into this particular stage of the female growth cycle; based largely on the personal and often extremely graphic letters to the editor from a nation of girls-to-women. These ranged from quaint, innocent crushes on unsuitable boys and an inability to master the art of eye-shadow, through to eyewateringly disturbing tales of 13-year-olds doing all manner of experimental things that are best left to the imagination.

I also remember, during my unsuccessful attempt at teaching in a tough high school in Liverpool, trying to impart sex education to a class of 30 14-year-olds, where the pupils were light years apart in terms

of development. Two wallflowers at the front of the class had never been kissed and the two punkettes at the back were already pregnant.

Yes, the minefield of teenage youth beckons. How to get your child to complete the journey from 12 to 19 without them getting arrested, addicted to drugs, becoming an alcoholic, getting pregnant, transmitting some hideous disease, suffering from depression and low self-esteem or harming themselves irreparably. The traditional jokes about shotguns and daughters fall flat, as reality sets in.

It is going to be a white-knuckle ride for all of us. We cannot ring-fence them with rules and regulations – they really do have to make their own mistakes.

The best we can do is try and limit those mistakes to manageable ones. Send them off armed with common sense, a set of proper values, strong family support and

Paul, Sabina and Saskia

the knowledge that we will always love them and be there for them. And should anything dodgy happen along the way, we will be there to talk to and listen.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.

November 2010

11

health

burning up MARINA ZIETSMAN helps parents understand fevers in babies.

what’s hot?

home care

What is considered a fever depends on the part of the body from which the temperature is measured, says Dr Martin Baigel, a paediatrician at the Life Glynnwood Hospital in Benoni. “From the mouth, 37,8 degrees Celsius is classified as a fever, and from the ear or rectally, 38 degrees Celsius. If you take the temperature under the armpit, higher than 37,5 degrees Celsius should be considered a fever,” says Baigel. But, “an infant under the age of three months with a fever, or who looks ill, should always be assessed by a doctor or an experienced nursing

Home treatment of a fever requires an informed parent who can differentiate between an ill child requiring professional help, and one whose condition can simply be monitored.

“When a child is ‘happy and hot’, one can withhold medication and observe,” says Baigel. But a child who is unwell with a fever is a different matter. “If the child is miserable, refuses fluids, vomits and is not sleeping, she should get immediate medical treatment.” This also applies to a child who is listless or lethargic, constantly crying, not reacting to parent stimulation, or exhibiting a change in

12

November 2010

skin colour, various states of consciousness, skin rashes and not responding to attempts to bring down the fever.

Walele suggests that the fever can be home-treated with paracetamol, Ibuprofen or mefenamic acid (a non-steroidal, anti-inflammatory drug, found in Ponstel, for example).

“Various generics are available, but look for alcohol-, preservative- and sugar-free remedies, and also administer the recommended dose. Aspirin in any form should never be given to a child.” He also advises sponging off the little one with lukewarm water, administering sufficient fluids, fanning the child and dressing them in light clothing.

from fever to seizure Some children have a genetic predisposition to febrile convulsions, seizures caused by high temperatures that can last from less than a minute to up to five minutes. The age group most affected is children between six months and five years. Febrile convulsions, although frightening, are not serious, and do not cause brain damage or increased incidences of epilepsy later in life, says Baigel. However, “all first-time seizures should be considered serious, until proven otherwise,” says Walele. Baigel continues, “parents must never assume that all future seizures are not serious.

There could be other more critical causes of seizures that warrant urgent attention.”

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

i

t is important to remember that while fevers can be serious, particularly in newborn babies, an increased temperature is the body’s way of showing that the immune system is reinforcing its efforts to fight an illness or infection.

sister,” says Dr Azeem Walele, chief paediatrician at 2 Military Hospital in Wynberg, Cape Town.

The most common cause of fevers in babies is a viral infection such as the common cold, flu, viral gastroenteritis, chicken pox and measles. Small babies can also develop a slight fever when teething, after immunisation or when dressed too warmly. Baigel says the “best method for measuring your baby’s temperature is with an ear thermometer”, though these devices are costly.

Other reliable methods include using a digital thermometer to measure temperature under the arms, orally or rectally (care needs to be taken with this procedure); glass thermometers with mercury are less widely used.

magazine cape town

November 2010

13

health

can you hear me now LUCILLE KEMP looks at how your child’s MP3

y

our teen is gliding through the house, “receiver” off the hook. She’s plugged into music cranked loud enough for you to hear. Should you be concerned?

According to Cape Town-based audiologist, Natalie Buttress, “Children up to the age of 14 have much smaller ear canals than adults, meaning the sound pressure level of MP3 players is higher for children than the same loudness would be for adults.” To make matters worse, children seem to tolerate sound easily and for long periods of time, and are able to listen to music at a higher level than adults would often find acceptable.

Your child’s overexposure to noise from their earphones “can cause temporary changes in hearing

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November 2010

sensitivity, leading to permanent hearing damage and can later result in tinnitus,” says Dominique Bassil, an audiologist based in Johannesburg. Hearing damage can be devastating, particularly in a child, because the issue will impact development in other areas such as language and learning.

There are ways to lessen your child’s chances of hearing damage, without your needing to confiscate their MP3 player.

Make sure the volume of their sound device is properly monitored, or that it has some kind of limiter. Buttress and Bassil say a child must always be able to hear normal conversation while listening to their MP3 player. This means that if you stand behind your child and talk at a normal level, he should be able to hear and understand you.

volume control To give you an idea of how serious earphone noise can be, here are a few of the numbers: 80 decibels is an acceptable level for background noise, anything higher is potentially hazardous. Bassil explains that “80 decibels (alarm clock level) of background noise for eight hours is equivalent to 95 decibels (this is just louder than the sound of a lawnmower) for 15 minutes using an MP3 player. So,

if a child listens to music at louder than 95 decibels for longer than 15 minutes, there may be long-term damage to hearing.” Rather than putting up the volume in order to compensate for the noise around us, Buttress suggests using, “high quality, noise-cancellation earphones – while not fully preventative, they do help.”

Buttress goes on to say that research has shown “an increase in identified hearing loss in the teen population as a result of excessive sound exposure”. Bassil has seen an influx of teens showing the beginnings of a noise-induced hearing loss. Since, as Buttress says, “nerve damage to ears is irreversible”, it’s time to sit up and take notice.

Other things that make us city-dwellers more vulnerable to hearing damage are construction sites, blaring car radios, gym classes and nightclubs.

Most people only head to an ear specialist when the damage is done, but audiologists recommend a once-off hearing test for those at risk and if damage is detected then this will be monitored annually. Audiologists will be able to catch the slightest change in hearing, “and put protection in place, or treat the loss earlier, which means that less damage can take place over time”, says Buttress.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

player may be affecting her hearing.

magazine cape town

November 2010

15

dealing with difference

the “other” child NINA MENSING on some of the stressors for siblings of children with learning differences.

he’ll always be my brother Emma*, an 11-year-old from Bryanston, is very close to her older brother Jonathan*, who is 13. They enjoy playing golf together, and have many of the same friends.

Jonathan has Asperger’s Syndrome, and this year is his first year in a mainstream school. Their parents do not allow Jonathan to use Asperger’s as an excuse for bad behaviour. They are intent on treating their children the same and allowing them to work out their infrequent spats by themselves. They openly talk through things

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November 2010

within the family, as well as with outsiders in order for others to understand some of Jonathan’s behaviour. Their handling of the situation goes a long way towards a more tranquil home environment. Emma says that she feels there is no difference in the time and attention that she and her brother get, and she does not find his behaviour too different. “After all,” she says, “he is my brother and he has always been that way.”

making it work or making work of it?

KwaZulu-Natal-based ADHD coach Dave Pughe-Parry, founder of LADD (Living ADDventure), says that siblings can get involved in the care of the child with a learning difference, although this would depend on the ages of the children. This gives the sibling a job, creating self-esteem, and the child with special needs gets positive sibling attention.

moods that if I did not make the effort we would have no relationship.” Although Fiona never lacked for attention and time with her parents, she was aware that her younger sister got more than she did. Subconsciously she understood, but that did not stop her frustration towards the diagnosis. Her anger at the situation also made her mentally block out any understanding that she might have gained from listening to her parents. No child likes be told what to do and feel, especially when it comes to emotional family relationships. It took reading a book and attending a support workshop before she could fully accept and comprehend what was going on. More than the knowledge that she gained, it was the feeling of not being so isolated and alone that made her open her mind to understand more, and open her heart to connect empathetically with her sister.

More difficult, though, was the fact that she was expected to be understanding and empathetic. Instead she felt irritated, and then guilty for feeling this way.

One school of thought is that these siblings mature faster than their age group. They are often left on their own to sort things out, like their homework for example, while the parents are concentrating on the needs of the child with a learning difference. Having a child with special needs can become all consuming – what with speech therapy, occupational therapy, homework, extra lessons, extramurals and, often, different schools – leaving the sibling to their own devices. However, Dave warns that getting too emotionally caught up in the challenges will usually make the problem bigger.

Sixteen year old Fiona* finds the expectations the most difficult to cope with. Her younger sister Angie* (now 11) was diagnosed with early onset Bipolar Mood Disorder at the age of nine. Not being a naturally emotional child, Fiona found it difficult to comprehend the range of emotions that Angie was suffering from. More difficult, though, was the fact that she was expected to be understanding and empathetic. Instead she felt irritated, and then guilty for feeling this way.

No one can feel the same empathy towards a child as their parents do, yet often parents are so caught up in things, they expect everyone else in the family to feel the same way towards the child as they do.

“I often felt sad that I did not connect more with Angie. There was so much stress in the family, and I constantly felt like I had to put the effort in to create a bond with her. She was always so wrapped up in her

Knowledge is key in any area of special needs and mental health, and sometimes it takes someone other than one’s parents for the knowledge to be accepted. That is why family interventions can be so positive. PugheParry suggests that families have a meeting once a week, preferably around a dinner table. This can include planning the menu, shopping and cooking together. During the meal each member of the family should have their say, with no interruptions. It’s the opportunity for everyone to discuss family problems and solutions. The trick is to listen rather than offer advice. Not only does this meeting give each one a turn to express their feelings, it also brings the family together over a regular planned activity, with a certain amount of responsibility involved in preparing the meal. In fact, this meeting idea is excellent for any family.

the big picture In essence every child should be treated holistically. For the sibling of a child with a learning difference, support in the way of a psychologist or a support group or mentor can go a long way to easing some of the pressure – but one should not overlook the role that fun activities, creativity, exercise and nutrition can have in your child’s life. Fischer’s survey so far indicates that, for families with special needs children, an inclusive plan that involves everybody, can go a long way to a happy family environment. *Names have been changed magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

ibling relationships are usually the longest and closest relationships that one will have, yet they can be intense, painful and extremely complex. I doubt there’s a family that can say that they have not dealt with some form of sibling rivalry. “You love her more than me!”

“You always take his side!” Sound familiar?

Yet the issue of sibling rivalry becomes that much more complex when one of the siblings has a learning difference. As a parent we naturally need to spend more time on the child with autism, Asperger’s and Tourette’s Syndrome and ADHD or the like. Or stand up for them in a sibling argument when they cannot stand up for themselves. This is bound to create extreme emotions of jealousy, rivalry, resentment as well as guilt.

Mareli Fischer, who’s currently doing her masters in clinical psychology, is doing a survey on the effects and stresses, if any, that a child with a learning difference has on a family. Her conclusions so far? Much depends on how parents handle the situation.

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on the money

Entrepreneurship encompasses constant curiosity, a desire to solve problems, to see life differently, to find and follow your passion, and to wonder about how you can make positive changes in society.

ntrepreneurship is a buzzword of our time.

Economists are hoping that entrepreneurs will pull South Africa’s economy up by its bootstraps and help unemployment vanish. Schools encourage market days to nurture business talent, and parents are pleased when their offspring display entrepreneurial tendencies – even when those parents themselves hold safe and secure jobs. It seems we all recognise that being able to make money is a talent that will serve children well when they grow up. But what turns a child into an entrepreneur?

Common sense would lead one to suppose that it is a mixture of natural aptitude and environmental exposure.

This seems to be the recipe in the case of 13-year-old Daniël Steyn. Daniël, who runs Skadulaan Theatre from his family home in Stellenbosch, was inspired by his uncle, Barrie Terblanche, an entrepreneur and co-author of the book Starting Your Own Business in South Africa. Daniël’s ambitions are also assisted by the fact that his mother, Ronel, is involved in consulting for small businesses.

However, Ronel feels that Daniël, rather than being inspired to become an entrepreneur in particular, is inspired by his passions for cooking and entertainment, and “takes an entrepreneurial approach to these passions”.

Daniël’s first venture was a clown-and-stilt performance at a car park, where he enjoyed receiving the donations of passers-by. This was followed by a neighbourhood talent show in his garage. Daniël then sold cleverly packaged condensed-milk treats at the weekly market days at his school, Laerskool Eikestad. He made a 50 percent profit on his popular product line. Skadulaan Theatre, Daniël’s latest enterprise, holds talent shows and music-quiz evenings, as well as forwarding itself as a recording studio and a production house (see skadulaantheatre.synthasite.com).

Unfortunately – whether his skills come from nature or nurture, or the lucky coincidence of both – Daniël is not typical of young South Africans.

encouraging entrepreneurship Linda McClure, MD of Junior Achievement South Africa (JASA), observes that, “At the moment, most

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young people will go into business because they think they can’t do anything else. They aren’t seeing it as a choice; that it’s a career option.” She says that when learners are asked whether they would prefer to get a job or start their own business, the majority still say, “I’d rather just get a job”. Many believe being an employee is more secure.

JASA is an organisation that is rolling out entrepreneurship programmes in many schools that leave learners feeling, “I can start a business and I can make money”. This is particularly relevant in the present economy when the stable life of the employee seems more and more a thing of the past.

SA Teen Entrepreneur is another organisation that is focusing on stimulating entrepreneurship. It recently held a Teen Biz Building Boot Camp in Cape Town, where Peter Greenwall, through his highly engaging interactive musical comedy presentation, encouraged teens to come up with their own business ideas based on their experiences, talents, passions, fears and frustrations (see teenentrepreneur. co.za). The ideas produced ranged from an innovative use of a shopping trolley to teen dating scenarios.

Greenwall is confident that the ideas can be turned into thriving businesses. He says SA Teen Entrepreneur is teaming up with various organisations and experts to “mentor, coach and get start-up capital”. In 2011 it will establish a Teen Entrepreneur Centre that will coordinate these activities. However, JASA and SA Teen Entrepreneur don’t have the funds to reach all the young people in our country, and in most cases it is the Economics and Management Sciences (EMS) teachers who must support children’s blossoming business talents.

The Grade 7 EMS curriculum, for example, requires learners to participate in a joint venture that produces goods or a service; run a business event based on a questionnaire they have designed; and advertise their business venture. It is no surprise then that market days are commonly held at South African primary schools so that learners can achieve these goals.

When Grove Primary in Claremont, Cape Town, held a market day the teachers wanted to make sure that magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM, Arthur Buitendag of Studio8photography.co.za

Tips for cultivating entrepreneurial skills in our children. By JEANNE MACLAY-MAYERS

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Making children into entrepreneurs does not involve creating materialistic profit-seekers but creative individuals who solve problems both for themselves and those around them.

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the learners got fully involved in the design process and focused on a particular target market, so they asked learners in the higher grades to make products to sell to the Grade 1s. Each learner then made a product that used their specific talents. For example, Tamia Morgan made colouring-in books by drawing pictures designed to appeal to the Grade 1s, and thoroughly enjoyed unleashing her creativity.

However, according to education consultant Alexandra Pinnock, although the school curriculum in theory provides for entrepreneurship, the true essence of it is not addressed in most South African schools. For Pinnock, entrepreneurship needs to be encouraged as a culture and a way of thinking, but many teachers are so focused on end-of-year marks that there’s little time for nurturing creative thinkers. This suggests that parents have a big role to play if they want their children to acquire an entrepreneurial mindset.

Home-schooling mom Lisa-Marie Young was caught by surprise when her daughter, Jessica (10 years old), received an order for a cake from her hobby website (kidzcakes. co.za). But she has supported her daughter wholeheartedly as Jessica has embraced such opportunities and extended her business to include make-your-own-cupcake activities at the neighbourhood market. Now Jessica even makes

icing embellishments for resale at a local baking shop.

Through all these activities Jessica has earned enough money to buy herself a laptop, which she now uses to maintain her website – and she has inspired her younger brother Nicholas to think of business ideas of his own.

Parents wanting their own children to become entrepreneurial should encourage them to use their natural talents, start small and then grow their business, adapt to what their market wants and persevere in the face of setbacks.

Parents may also need to consider offering funding for start-up capital, and be prepared for returns to not necessarily follow after the first venture.

While children often think of business ventures in terms of making goods to sell, they can offer services instead. Rosalind Resnick, CEO of Axxess Business Consulting, a New York consulting firm that advises startups and small businesses, notes in an article she wrote for blog.entrepreneur.com that service businesses require less capital and often earn more of a profit. She suggests children might engage in dog-walking, lawn-mowing and poop-scooping around the neighbourhood, or could teach members of the older generation about new technology such as Facebook, “social-media consulting” as she calls it.

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the age issue When my stepson Chris was eight I encouraged him to make and sell origami mobiles, as he clearly had a talent he could use. Chris sold one for R50 and I was delighted, but then he got bored – to my dismay at the time. Chris loved the challenge of making a new paper creature, but he didn’t want to churn out Japanese swans like a one-child production line – and he shouldn’t have to.

This made me wonder what age was suitable to start encouraging children to engage in business activities, and when it was too soon to intrude upon a person’s childhood in such a way.

Cape Town play therapist and child counsellor Tessa Eadie is all for supporting children’s entrepreneurial ventures when they are self-driven, but thinks that the process is just as important as the product. For Eadie, entrepreneurial activities provide an opportunity for children to think about their passions, as well as enhancing their emotional development and building self-esteem. Moreover, she believes that entrepreneurial activities “make the link between effort and reward tangible” and “provide one more level on which children can engage with their environment and tune in to the feedback they receive”.

Lydia Zingoni, director of SA Teen Entrepreneur, thinks that children should be encouraged to convert

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their talents and passions into businesses as soon as possible, as long as they are protected by appropriate support structures. While the traditional definition of entrepreneurship is the combining of natural and human resources to create a profit, for Zingoni entrepreneurship “is more of a mindset than merely a desire to make and sell goods and services”. She says that entrepreneurship encompasses constant curiosity, a desire to solve problems, to see life differently, to find and follow your passion, and to wonder about how you can make positive changes in society.

Zingoni believes that both children and teenagers should “be encouraged to have a sense of social responsibility for their communities” and she sees social entrepreneurship as key in most parts of South Africa.

Clearly, for her, making children into entrepreneurs does not involve creating materialistic profit-seekers but creative individuals who solve problems both for themselves and those around them, which is why developing entrepreneurial skills is appropriate from a young age. Peter Greenwall adds, “The entrepreneurial mindset... is a positive mindset that makes you never give up on finding solutions to daily and universal problems...

Luckily the world is full of problems, so we are never without inspiration!”

Jessica Young runs an online cupcake business called Kidz Cakes.

how can you improve your children’s money-management skills?

Lydia Zingoni of SA Teen Entrepreneur: “Don’t over-spoil your children – let them see the value of money, how they can make it and how they can keep it.”

Elena Meyer of JASA: “Help your children control a budget. This could mean helping them plan how they will use their monthly pocket money or letting them become involved in choosing what makes it onto the household shopping list.”

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fight or fantasy Are electronic games making your child aggressive? GLYNIS HORNING reports

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On the other hand, for many months now my own two boys have spent several hours a week slaying monsters with an array of vicious weapons in World of Warcraft.

The 16-year-old has also begun “lanning” – embarking on occasional all-night sniper fests with friends, when they camp out together in a room with their computers, and gleefully destroy each other’s avatars in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

I haven’t seen a negative change in either lad, or I’d have stopped it. They’re sensible, sensitive chaps who achieve academically, socialise comfortably, and exercise daily. The sniper also teaches maths to underprivileged children two afternoons a week, while the young monster-slayer is an enthusiastic classical musician. So what should parents do?

stealing childhood?

Pearl Ramotsamai, counsellor at the Family and Marriage Society of South Africa (FAMSA), has concerns about electronic games, but less for their violence than for their potential to rob children of non-electronic play.

“Old-fashioned play is an essential part of childhood,” she says emphatically.

Running around outdoors develops muscles and coordination and lowers the risk of childhood obesity and the many health problems this brings later. Being creative with crayons, clay and other simple art materials or musical ones (tins for drums, and so on) boosts children’s imaginations and problem-solving abilities, and teaches basic scientific and mathematical principles. And social play – from dressing

up to board games – teaches vital social skills such as taking turns and sharing.

Computer games can keep children from these, Ramotsamai fears, especially as their time today is often limited by long school hours and extramurals.

conditioning to kill?

But it’s the content of electronic games that worries many parents, and fuels the most debate. “They need careful monitoring because they can be explicitly violent and sexual and embody values very different from your own,” says Ramotsamai. “Children copy what they see, and there have been cases of them accidentally killing other children by doing things they saw on TV. What if they find a gun at home, and try to copy what they’ve seen in violent games?”

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PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

t’s a bloody debate, with both sides firing off emotional accusations, and many confused parents caught in the middle: Do computer games make our children aggressive?

A Midlands mother I’ll call Martha, who home-schools her children, remarked recently that the oldest had become grumpy, irritable and rude to his younger siblings. Around the same time the computer games he’d grown addicted to had changed from fairly innocuous fun to “skop-skiet-en-donder extravaganzas”.

She banned him from playing for several months as punishment for his behaviour – and swears that within days the change was remarkable. He was kind to his siblings, played patiently with them, and even volunteered to help around the house.

American psychology professor Dave Grossman believes some are doing this already. In On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society (Back Bay Books), he calls violent electronic games “murder simulators”, and contends they teach children to kill – creating dangerous role models, glorifying violence, and desensitising them to the feelings of others.

Grossman likens violence in electronic games to the army’s conditioning of soldiers. “We are reaching the stage of desensitisation at which the infliction of pain and suffering has become a source of entertainment; vicarious pleasure rather than revulsion,” he says. “We are learning to kill, and we are learning to like it.”

And he cites a case in Kentucky where

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a school killer “fired eight shots, getting eight hits, on eight different milling, scrambling, screaming children. Five of them were head shots… Where did he get this phenomenal skill?”

Other researchers cite the Columbine killing, where two of the young shooters who took out 12 fellow students and a teacher had played long hours of violent video games.

danger points Video games (a term used broadly to include computer and home-console games like PlayStation and Xbox) can be more harmful than violent movies or TV programmes because they are interactive, says Joan van Niekerk, national manager for advocacy and training for Childline

Violent video games are like peanut butter – harmless for the vast majority of children, but harmful to a small minority with pre-existing problems.

– Christopher Ferguson, US psychologist and researcher

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South Africa. Children engage directly with them, role-playing their favourite characters and repeatedly practising the violent moves, experiencing the adrenaline rush of fear or excitement, and being rewarded for “skilful play” (often successful kills). “It can be mesmerising and addictive,” she says.

Psychologist Douglas Gentile, author of Media Violence and Children: A Complete Guide for Parents and Professionals (Praeger), reviewed studies and found five “major effects” of playing violent games (defined as “games where the player can intentionally harm other characters”).

These were “increased physiological arousal, increased aggressive thoughts, increased aggressive feelings, increased aggressive behaviours, and decreased pro-social helping.” Teens who played violent games for extended periods, he said, were more prone to confrontation with teachers, fights with peers, and drops in school performance.

In a more recent American university study, brain-scan technology showed children who played violent video games had an increase in emotional arousal, and corresponding decrease of activity in areas of the brain involved in selfcontrol, inhibition and attention. These effects were detected in the brains of teens who played Medal of Honour: Frontline (a violent first-person shooter), but not of those who played the non-violent racing game, Need for Speed: Underground. The only difference was the violent content.

professor Dmitri Williams, lead author of a study that concluded that it’s looking increasingly likely that computer games don’t cause violence.

“The biggest problem with mediaeffects research is that it attempts to decontextualise violence,” says his colleague Karen Sternheimer in Context, a journal of the American Sociological Association. “Poverty, neighbourhood instability, unemployment, and even family violence fall by the wayside… Ironically, even mental illness tends to be overlooked in this psychologically oriented research.”

Computer games can be mesmerising and addictive.

– Joan van Niekerk, Childline SA positive spin Yet there are researchers who say such effects are fleeting, and video games are harmless. And many who argue they can even have positive effects on children – increasing their manual dexterity, reaction times, visual-spatial cognition (used in careers such as engineering, architecture and surgery), and computer literacy. They also develop their ability to strategise and make decisions, help them try out social and life situations in a low-risk environment, and build their confidence.

Some contend too that exposure to violent games provides a healthy release for the frightening emotions young people can experience, reducing their urge to act out aggression in violent behaviour, though Van Niekerk strongly disagrees. “Parents must be careful not to teach children dangerous means of catharsis,” she says. Writing stories or playing outside is much healthier.

These researchers point out that the link with aggression and violence has never been conclusively proven. “I’m not saying some games don’t lead to aggression, but the data is not there yet,” says University of Southern California communications

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As to the “Columbine connection”, psychologist and video violence researcher Christopher J Ferguson, author of Violent Crime (Sage), says a Secret Service report on school shooters found “few school shooters had unusual interest in violent video games, and they may have consumed fewer violent games than normal teen males.” Sternheimer adds that when boys from “good” neighbourhoods are violent, “they seem to be created by video games rather than by their social circumstances. Middle-class killers retain their status as children easily influenced by a game, victims of an allegedly dangerous product. The same can’t be said for those in ‘bad’ neighbourhoods.”

Other researchers note that teen violence in the US is down 77 percent since 1993, the year Doom was released and was followed by a flood of other increasingly violent electronic games. In a special issue of the journal Review of General Psychology this June, Ferguson says: “Recent research has shown that as video games have become more popular, children in the US and Europe are having fewer behaviour problems, are less violent and score better magazine cape town

on standardised tests. Violent video games have not created the generation of problem youth so often feared.”

It’s been estimated that the average student has a less than 10 in a million chance of being gunned down at school, and the reason is much less likely to be access to violent video games than access to guns. “If your child is violent, this is most likely because of genetics, the child’s personality, family violence and neglect, or poverty and the economy, in roughly that order,” says Ferguson.

He concludes that the only children at risk of being adversely affected by violent video games are those given to anger, depression, indifference to the feelings of others, being easily upset,

“acting without thinking”, and “typically breaking rules”. “Violent video games are like peanut butter,” he says. “They are harmless for the vast majority of children, but are harmful to a small minority with pre-existing personality or mental health problems.”

In an overview of 130 earlier research reports published this year in the American Psychological Association’s Psychological Bulletin, psychology professor Craig Anderson says video gaming may be just one risk factor for aggression and violence, but “it’s a risk factor that is easy for an individual parent to deal with – at least, easier than changing most other known risk factors, such as poverty or one’s genetic structure.”

so what should we do?

Electronic games are now so widely accepted that even if you are concerned, it can be hard to stop children playing them. The advice of most researchers and psychologists is not to ban children from playing them, but to get actively involved – to supervise and monitor them and their game choices, and above all, to ensure they lead balanced, healthy lives, and have good values.

• “Be a role model and teach non-violent problem-solving skills,” says Van Niekerk.

• Don’t use electronic games as babysitters, says Yolanda Burgell, founder of the Social Skills Academy of South Africa. “Engage your children every day, asking their opinions about violence and other issues, and sharing yours.”

• Learn about electronic games – research shows most parents know almost nothing about them. Google those your children want to play, read the boxes, and watch them play from time to time. “Ask yourself if this is something you want your child exposed to on a daily basis,” says Van Niekerk.

• Play non-violent games with them, like electronic chess. “It can be bonding,” she says. If you allow violent games, Ferguson suggests playing these with them too. “You can discuss that the behaviours are unacceptable in real life, a message made more credible by your familiarity with youth culture. The best influence you can have on your children is through time spent with them.”

• Be guided by ratings according to the emotional development of your children rather than their actual age. Systems vary, but generally M indicates Mature player (16 plus), and A for Adults (over 18).

• Don’t put computers or other electronic gaming equipment in children’s bedrooms; use a communal space.

• Set limits on how often they can play and for how long, says Van Niekerk, and see that they spend time outdoors. “Research shows sunlight deprivation impacts mood and can cause depression, especially in winter.”

• Above all, she says, monitor your child. “Some can cope with things that others can’t.”

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eter Piper and his peck of pickled peppers are proof that it’s easy enough to get your tongue twisted around one language, let alone two or more. Yet despite the challenges, many parents are successfully raising bilingual, and even multilingual, children.

Nik Fairclough, a business owner and father of three girls, was raised bilingual.

His mom speaks only Swedish to him while his dad speaks English. He now uses the one-parent-one-language method in his own family with much success. Nik speaks only Swedish to his daughters, while his wife Lynne speaks only English. “We’ve just spent five weeks in Sweden and the girls had no problem conversing, although when spoken to in Swedish they will almost always reply in English.” This is known as passive bilingualism. Nik says the girls can speak Swedish when required to but English is their dominant language, since they live in an English-speaking community and attend English schools. His wife Lynne can even understand basic Swedish now after hearing it spoken daily to her children for the last 17 years.

method or muddle The definitions and degrees of bilingualism vary – some parents feel that raising a child who can make himself understood in a second language is sufficient, while others feel the child should learn to read and write the language in addition to speaking and understanding it. Some children may only be able to speak one dominant language but can listen in two languages, while others may achieve equal fluency in two or more languages.

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The methods for raising bilinguals are just as diverse but most parents and experts prefer the one-parent-onelanguage method, where each parent speaks only one language to the child from birth, thereby introducing two languages simultaneously. This method especially suits naturally bilingual parents or parents with different native languages. Parents who both speak a single native language may rely on the community or school to teach the secondary language, or if both parents can speak a second language fairly well, they may speak it at home, relying on the community to teach the dominant or majority language. Some parents communicate with their children and each other in mixed languages, switching between them with no clearly defined rules. Others prefer to introduce a second language only after the first language is well established. Monolingual parents may employ an au pair or nanny of another mother tongue to give their children the gift of bilingualism.

Cape Town mother Nicole Wieners can speak and understand six different languages. She and her three siblings were raised in a multilingual home. “Our parents are fluent in English, Afrikaans, Dutch and German,” says Nicole. “We spoke German at home, English at school and we had a language roster next to our beds assigning different languages to different days of the week. Besides the four languages our parents were teaching us, we were also learning Zulu and French at school.”

Although Nicole feels that six languages was confusing at times, she can now speak and understand all six languages and is literate in four of them. magazine cape town

ILLUSTRATIONS: SAMANTHA SUMMERFIELD

talk

a m u l khu thetha

praat sprechen

parler

charla

TRACY ELLIS draws inspiration from families raising bilingual and multilingual children.

Nicole and her husband Seigi have successfully raised their five-year-old daughter Arwen to be fluent in English, Afrikaans and German. Nicole feels the one-parent-one-language method is the best and she now speaks only German to Arwen, while her husband speaks mostly Afrikaans to her. They have chosen to communicate with one another in English. Arwen goes to a German school and watches English television. “Her grammar at five is not always spot on but she can converse in all three languages and switch between them when necessary. Her strongest language is German because she attends school in this language plus she’s hearing it at home.”

Children learning to communicate in naturally bilingual households should ideally learn both languages simultaneously.

Although it is not impossible to achieve fluency later in life, experts agree that the optimal time to learn a language is during the baby and toddler years. “Children under the age of six years are more able to learn different languages with ease due to neural plasticity,” says speech and language therapist Kate More, whose special interest lies in bilingual families.

“This is when the brain’s neural pathways are not yet fixed and they still have the magazine cape town

capacity to develop new pathways with ease. It’s not that learning stops at age six, but rather that learning is much faster during the formative years.”

More believes that children are capable of learning as many as five languages before the age of six, but age and aptitude should be taken into consideration when deciding on the best method to use and how many languages to introduce. “One also needs to gauge the efficacy of communication in these languages as well as the reasons the children are learning this many languages simultaneously.” Accents, pronunciation and intonation will vary from child to child depending on the source from which they are learning the predominant portion of the language. “Children who learn English predominantly from listening to the television, for example, will speak with an American accent using American vocabulary. They may say ketchup rather than tomato sauce,” says More. The more engaged a child is in the language he is learning and the more exposed he is to the language in its natural environment, be it through school, friends, the community or parents, the more natural his pronunciation and intonation will be. Some research suggests that the more languages a child is introduced to, the less fluent he will be in each language. At some point you have to weigh up quantity versus quality.

Educational psychologist Sharon Doubell Robins comments, “Although bilingualism is a priceless gift to give to your children, if bought at the cost of a well-developed mother tongue – which appears increasingly to be happening in South Africa – it can be a very mixed blessing.”

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tongue twisters While the benefits of raising bilingual children may be clear, it may not always be plain sailing. Some of the biggest concerns when raising bilinguals are language confusion, language delay and speech problems. Experts agree that a bilingual home environment may cause a temporary delay in the development of both languages and that bilingual children may appear to confuse the two languages, but feel this is not cause for concern. Research suggests that monolingual and bilingual children reach major developmental milestones at similar times.

Factors such as gender, aptitude, timing, motivation, consistency and siblings may affect the desired outcome and More feels that if the child is already struggling

with one language, introducing a second language could be detrimental. “Children learning to communicate in naturally bilingual households should ideally learn both languages simultaneously. For any other child, I recommend that the first language be well established before introducing a second language.” As a guideline More suggests that most children will have grasped their first language by the age of three but she believes that some children are just better at languages than others so this guideline will vary depending on the child’s ability. Parents who are concerned with any progress in language development should seek the help of a speech therapist. “Early intervention is key in remediating language problems,” says More, who has seen children with severe behavioural problems bounce back

Children are capable of learning as many as five languages before the age of six. learning the lingo Some of the terms used on the topic of bilingualism Simultaneous bilingualism: learning two languages together from birth Receptive bilingualism: being able to understand two languages but speak only one Sequential or successive bilingualism: learning a second language after already establishing a first language Natural bilingualism: a child raised in a naturally occurring bilingual environment, by bilingual parents or in a foreign community Artificial bilingualism: a child raised in an intentionally bilingual environment i.e. placed in a foreign school by monolingual parents or tutored in a second language from a young age Passive bilingualism: children understand two languages but choose to speak only in the dominant language

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with simple language correction therapy.

“Teaching a child two languages should not cause speech disorders, but some children may develop a problem with stuttering, due to the pressure of learning two languages.”

We spoke German at home, English at school and we had a language roster next to our beds assigning different languages to different days of the week.

South Africans Paul and Julie Bellingan moved to Spain seven years ago. They have raised their four daughters Mikaelah (7), Abigael (5), Olivia (4) and Isabella (20 months) to be bilingual more out of necessity than choice. “We can only speak very basic Spanish so at home we speak English, but Mikaelah started at a Spanish school at five years old. Abigael followed at four and Olivia at three and a half. They have jumped right in and I’m amazed at what they are capable of. I do feel Mikaelah struggles the most because she started later than the others. I think their biggest struggle in developing the language is that we don’t speak it at home but they do have Spanish friends who play with them outside of school, and they speak Spanish to them. Our challenge is with homework as Jules and I often find ourselves having to learn Spanish as we go in order to help them,” says Paul.

Becoming literate in two languages that share the same alphabet, such as French and Spanish, is more straightforward than two that don’t. “I often find that children who speak mostly Xhosa at home struggle magazine cape town

when they get to an English-medium school and have to discriminate between these sounds when spelling,” says More.

“Indigenous languages in South Africa have fewer vowel sounds than English, so smaller differences such as jam, germ and gem, will be pronounced as gem, gem and gem.” Even so, many South African children are being raised in bilingual homes with an indigenous South African language.

Twenty-three-year-old Mbali Ndlovu, was raised in a German household by her Zulu mother. “My mother nannied for a family of six children and spoke English to all of us so I had learnt to speak English and German by the age of two,” says Mbali. “As a toddler my family realised I couldn’t understand or speak a word of Zulu, which was supposed to be my native language. My mom corrected this by speaking only Zulu to me while I continued learning English through the community.

Eventually my German fell away and my Zulu caught up with my English, but I really struggled in high school when I had to learn Zulu grammar and spelling. I would say English is my dominant language but I am proficient in both. I still triple check my Zulu spelling when translating.”

According to Christina Bosemark, founder of the US-based Multilingual Children’s Association, the process of raising bilinguals is a flexible and highly personal one, and can be adapted to suit your family, lifestyle and support systems.

She believes as long as it provides enough interaction in the second language and is maintained with consistency it will produce successful results.

bilingual support on the web multilingualchildren.org multilingualliving.com

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how to

handmade with love Wondering what gift to give this year’s class teacher? TAMLYN VINCENT rounds up a number of practical ideas for you and your child to tackle together.

bath time Make different-shaped soaps. Chop bars of glycerine soap into small pieces and melt in a polystyrene cup in the microwave. Place on high for 30 seconds at a time until melted. Be careful – this gets hot. Pour into cookie-cutter shapes placed on wax paper. Try filling the shape halfway, leave to dry and add a charm.

Then fill the rest of the way. When the soaps are dry, remove and package in a decorated box.

Create personalised bath salts. Add perfume or essential oils to Epsom salts. Add food colouring, but only a few drops at a time. Mix well and place into a bottle decorated with ribbon.

Design non-slip slipper socks.

You’ll need a pair of comfy socks and some puff paint (ask at your local craft shop).

Decorate the bottom of the socks with patterns, shapes or even a message.

Leave to dry.

Then heat until puffed.

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for food-lovers and foodies Give ready-to-bake biscuits in a jar. You’ll need a glass jar – such as a Consol jar, or a large coffee bottle.

Clean and dry it properly. Children can then layer these ingredients in the jar in this order (pack down after every additional layer):

2 cups flour

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

¾ cup brown sugar

¾ cup white sugar Fill the jar with your choice of Smarties, Astros or chopped up chocolate – try Crunchie or Top Deck. Close the lid, cover this with a square of fabric and secure in place with an elastic band. Cut out the instructions alongside or let your child write them out on decorative paper. Attach a piece of ribbon and tie the instructions around the neck of the jar.

Bake some cookies, place them in a jar or tin when they are cool, then get your child to write out the recipe on some pretty paper and attach it.

Try making flavoured salts. Take some coarse salt and add dried rosemary or some chilli flakes. Use your imagination and raid your veggie and herb garden. Place in a decorated tin or container.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: TAMLYN VINCENT, THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

s

aying thank you to your child’s teacher doesn’t have to cost a fortune. You can show your appreciation by helping your little one create something simple and practical. It’ll show a little effort and time was spent in its making – and give you an excuse to do something fun and creative with your child.

Here are a number of ideas to get you started, and perhaps inspired enough to tackle handmade Christmas or birthday gifts for the family too…

class acts If you like coordinating, and find children and parents are keen to participate, then you could try something with the whole class.

Create a finger-painted plant pot. Get all the children in the class to add a fingerprint (in paint) to a flower pot and turn these into butterflies and bugs. You can also paint the names of the children onto the pot or write a message around the rim. Then plant with flowers or herbs.

Make a classroom recipe book. Invite the children to write their favourite recipe on decorative card, perhaps with a short thank-you message. Collect these and make them into a book or place them in a basket.

Create a quilt or picnic blanket. Get children to decorate a square of material (with paint or appliquè or whatever takes their fancy).

Then sew (or find somebody who can do this for you) them together, place a material border around them, add some backing and you have a wonderful quilt. You could back with waterproof fabric if you’re making a picnic blanket. A lovely idea is to cut out the children’s handprints and turn these into tree leaves on a quilt.

picture perfect Make a caterpillar picture frame. Cut out rings from kitchen-roll or other cardboard tubes of assorted sizes. Get your children to glue pictures on top or on the bottom of these rings using wood glue. You can make several different pictures and then stick these together to make shapes. Try making a flower or caterpillar.

Create a frame for a special memory. Source pre-cut masonite frames (ask at your local craft shop) or try cutting out frames from stiff corrugated cardboard. Stick scapbooking paper onto the frame and cut to match the frame. Add decorations, charms, words, ribbon or anything you want. This is a gift on its own, or you can include a picture or poem.

Make a personalised plate or platter. You’ll need a clear glass plate. Children can decorate the underside with stickers, glitter, a poem or pictures – attach facing upwards so that they can be read through from the top. Paint over the bottom of the plate with acrylic or PVC paint. Your children can choose whichever colours they want and mix these in any way. Things might get messy but just cover the floor with newspaper and let your little artist be creative. Make sure that the whole underside of the plate is covered with paint and leave to dry.

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green fingers Spruce up a watering can with paint, or get younger children to decorate one with stickers. Then attach some gardening gloves and packets of flower seeds.

Create a mini herb or flower garden. Decorate or paint a flower pot and plant with herb or flower seedlings.

Design pot plant stakes. These are a nice addition to the mini garden above. Children can add a personal touch by adding their picture or a special message. Buy some plain stakes or use wooden sticks. Children can write out a message on some cardboard using a glitter pen. If you’re stuck for ideas you could try: “Thank you for helping me blossom.”

Use glue or strong tape to attach the message to the stake, then plant this in the pot.

craft online For more creative ideas and fun crafts have a look at these websites: childmag.co.za (launching soon) about.com (look at familycrafts.about.com, baking.about.com, americanfood.about.com) activityvillage.co.uk betterbudgeting.com (look for frugal crafts and homemade gifts) crafts.kaboose.com creativekidsathome.com familyfun.go.com marthastewart.com

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31

parenting

parent or

tall friend?

DONNA COBBAN details a bit of the

i

t’s a winter’s evening in Cape Town, we’re outside the local Spar, having procured a few essentials, rain is whipping the back of our necks and my two-year-old decides he is not going to get into the car or be strapped into his seat. I swoop him up despite his blood curdling protests and tell him: “I am not asking you, I am telling you.”

(A line I learnt from my mother. As a child I hated hearing it, but concede now that it is indeed very useful at times such as these). He continues to roar in protest; I buckle him in and scuttle to the driver’s seat – not without noticing some alarmed faces peering at us through the rain.

While I am temporarily unpopular with my son, I also seem to be unpopular with the world at large, where the rigidity of past parenting has given way to a more easygoing approach to discipline. So why has this often

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unsubtle shift towards an absence of parental authority occurred with this generation?

power play Natalee Holmes, director of Johannesburg-based company Redirecting Children’s Behaviour, puts it down to a combination of three possible factors. These include today’s parents not wanting to follow the autocratic style of parenting under which they may have been raised.

Also a shift from single-income families to double-income families with a lot of guilt involved because both parents have to work full-time. Parents want to be the “nice guys” to their children, and tend to give in more readily to avoid confrontation and negativity during the precious few hours that they do get to spend with their children. Holmes cites

a third factor – the pace at which people live nowadays. “In an effort to get things done quickly, parents tend to give in to their children and bribe/bargain with them because its easier than standing their ground and making unpopular decisions,” says Holmes.

Venecia Barries at the Parent Centre in Cape Town adds the following reasons for permissive parenting. “Our instant gratification, easy credit and individualistic culture has made it harder for parents and children alike to tolerate frustration of their wants and desires,” she says, and refers me to Mary Pipher, author of The Shelter of Each Other. Here Pipher says, that with regards to parenting, the pendulum has swung too far in the direction of personal happiness, with too little attention being paid to character development and values. While Pipher’s message is clear, it is the words

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PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

downside to being your child’s best buddy.

of Aric Sigman, author of The Spoilt Generation: Why Restoring Authority Will Make Our Children and Society Happier that make me sit up and listen.

Sigman was interviewed by Blake Morrison for the Guardian in September last year. Morrison quotes Sigman as saying: “We need to do away with obfuscating jargon – ‘empowerment’, ‘self-esteem’, ‘blended families’ etc – and call things what they are: ‘quality time’ is just a euphemism for not spending enough time with your children.” He goes on to tell Morrison that “children are programmed to be demanding but they have to learn they can’t have everything. It’s about saying no and being prepared to face the unpleasantness that goes with it. Many parents these days are afraid their children won’t like them unless they acquiesce to them.”

It is indeed a tough path to tread – we all want to be liked, but according to Barries, when it comes to parenting, the assertive approach is ideal – with the parent demonstrating care, respect, love, acceptance and affirmation for the child and also being able to assertively implement appropriate limits. One scenario she gives might sound something like this: “I know you would like to watch this movie but it has an age restriction of 12 and since you are only eight, I cannot allow you to watch it.” And another popular route many parents are now taking is the limitation of choice, “Would you like to wear this red top or this green one?” Through avoiding open-ended questions parents prevent the child from feeling overwhelmed by options and reduce the room for their own frustration with the child’s inability to make a quick choice.

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It’s a parent’s job “to ensure a child has a strong sense of self, and this job is one that needs to be done by a mature, caring adult, not a friend who is afraid to say no once in a while.”

when no is the right answer Holmes points out that taking the easy route, and being a “buddy” to your child, will result in a loss of respect for the parents. “The feeling that they can ‘do what they want’ ultimately leads to feelings of insecurity in the children, and a feeling of being unloved. I can do what I want, equals nobody cares, equals I am unloved.” She then adds that it is a parent’s job “…to ensure a child has a strong sense of self, and this job is one that needs to be done by a mature, caring adult, not a friend who is afraid to say no once in a while.”

And in order to be that mature, caring adult, Cape Town psychologist Ingrid Owens suggests that as a parent you need to have your needs for intimacy and friendship met, and guard against the possibilities for doing this getting lost in the demands parenting places on you.

Susanna*, a single mother to one son warns of the “lonely mother syndrome”, where the mother befriends the child for

lack of other friends to trust. (This can, I imagine, happen equally to a single father.) Owens cautions strongly against this. “Using your child as your confidante can be a great burden to him or her. They may not be able to verbalise it at the time, but it is often later that they realise the discomfort or sense of responsibility they have carried about the things that you are worrying about.” She advises that, “If you find yourself turning to your child as the one who understands, as the one with whom you feel most connected, as the one who listens, it is important to look at the adult relationships in your life and ask why they are not providing you with that interaction.”

Addressing parents in general, Owens says: “You will be helping both yourself and your child if you can make the time to develop and nurture friendships for yourself – a place just for you where you can have fun, moan, natter, confide, support and be supported.” * Name has been changed

further reading • Saying No: Why It’s Important for You and Your Child by Asha Phillips • The Spoilt Generation: Why Restoring Authority Will Make Our Children and Society Happier by Aric Sigman • No: Why Kids – Of All Ages – Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It by David Walsh

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33

education

making sense of

curriculum changes DONNA COBBAN brings you a breakdown on what’s what when it comes to Schooling 2025.

i

was trained as a secondary-school teacher many moons ago – long before outcomes-based education became the official path and so did not pay it much attention until I one day spied a teacher friend’s assessment sheets. In spidery thin writing crammed into tiny boxes across pages and pages were her mandatory assessment notes for each and every student, or rather, learner. I reeled in horror. Teaching takes a tremendous amount of energy, energy that needs to be ongoing and

OBE “… reinforced a tendency to top-down edicts, saw poor training and development for teachers, and a host of form-filling and compliance rituals. Instead of support and capacity building, we (so often) put in place impossible outcomes and standards within an architecture that frustrates good teaching and innovation.”

So why did OBE ever get a look in in the first place? Bloch explains in the same article that “OBE acknowledged the need to prepare the 21st-century child to be technologically literate, open

consistent (there can be no down days or slacking off to surf the web days), but with forms like these to fill in daily, that energy can become easily lost in an administrative nightmare.

So when the Minister of Basic Education, Angie Motshekga, announced the changes and the introduction of Schooling 2025 on 6 July this year, many applauded the move.

These included one of the architects of the OBE system, renowned educationist and author Graeme Bloch. Late last year, Timesonline reported that Bloch said that

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to rapid change, organised and able to plan, manage and implement innovative solutions in a world racked by war and global warming, economic meltdown and social despair.” It is important to note these factors when looking back, as it is evident that the right intentions were always present – to lift the country’s standard of education for all learners to a competitive global level. Yet, sadly, that outcome has not transpired and the curriculum now needs reworking not reinventing. magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

Teachers will now have time to plan and support learners, instead of having to spend hours on administrative paperwork.

on the ground I ask a few teachers to give me their take on the past and what they think the future of Schooling 2025 holds. Julie Fleming has been a teacher at John Graham Primary in Cape Town for over 20 years and concedes that OBE does indeed have its merits. “It gives children the opportunity with each assessment to focus on exactly what is required of them and they can look back afterwards and establish where they have not met the criteria and which areas to work on. In truth though,” she says, “I don’t think many of the children I teach have the maturity to do this and some jump into an activity without much concern for what is required. They also often lack the determination to actually work towards improving in a particular area, so it still falls on teachers – and parents – to make this happen. But the opportunity is there and, as they get older, they probably become better at this.”

As to the new changes, Fleming is grateful for the reduced number of

subjects, but is of the belief that whatever programme you implement, teachers still have to deal with the learners who are in their class. And one size doesn’t always fit all, making it crucial to successful teaching that an educator’s versatile teaching style is capable of adapting to suit the ebb and flow of a particular class with its many varying needs. Schools everywhere seem braced and ready for change.

looking ahead Although the nitty gritty of Schooling 2025 still needs to be finalised, the feeling in schools definitely seems to be one of optimism. Les Lambert, head of Rosebank Primary School in Johannesburg, tells me that the new curriculum aims to improve the nation’s literacy and numeracy levels.

“If implemented properly,” he says, “these changes can be beneficial to the education of our children.” Lambert is positive regarding the move away from large amounts of administrative work.

“Teachers will now have time to plan

what was a brief breakdown of the old curriculum (OBE and the RNCS) Outcomes Based Education was introduced around 1996 as the best educational solution for South Africa.

• The system then, was very difficult to comprehend, mainly due to the abstract terminology and the poor and inadequate training supplied by the Education Department.

• Many schools struggled to implement C2005, which had 67 Specific Outcomes, across eight Learning Areas, all of which were meant to be incorporated in Learning Programmes.

The system was then simplified and the result was the 2002 Revised National Curriculum Statement (RNCS).

• Much of the terminology was changed e.g. Specific Outcomes became Learning Outcomes, and Assessment Criteria became Assessment Standards.

• The RNCS was a lot easier to implement and did give a

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lot more structure regarding what was to be taught. This included details of the phonics, for example, and thus gave educators a better idea as to what was to be included in lessons. If educators had followed this policy, children would have been able to read and write by the end of the Foundation Phase.

For OBE to succeed, however, it required well-trained educators, well-equipped classrooms and relatively small classes (maximum 25).

• This is why the system worked relatively well in the former model C schools.

• There was, however, too much emphasis on assessment and educators did not have enough time to actually teach.

Courtesy of Ruth Pressler, former teacher, now writer and materials developer.

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education

and support learners, instead of having to spend hours on administrative paperwork.”

With regards to language and the right to learn in your mother tongue, Rosebank Primary has taken a proactive approach and Lambert tells me that a survey will soon be sent to parents for them to provide input on what the first additional language should be. The school governing body is hoping to offer both Afrikaans and Zulu, where parents and learners have the option of choosing either one depending on what language their future high school offers.

Sylvia Buschberger, head of Montrose Primary School in Johannesburg feels that there is a lot of good in the new curriculum, but she adds that “to get good results, a lot depends on the attitude of those who execute it.”

So where to now? The Minister’s statement has been digested, areas of change have been outlined and the department is now hard at work on a comprehensive turnaround plan. This plan is branded Action Plan 2014: Towards the Realisation of Schooling 2025 and they are currently calling for comment from the public sector and interested parties.

The draft document can be viewed at education.gov.za. They appear to have a formidable task ahead of them and can only be commended for the vision that entails bringing about “a fundamental change in schooling outcomes”.

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what will be a breakdown of curriculum changes pertaining to the primary years:

from January 2010: • less recording and reporting for educators • fewer projects for learners to complete • no more portfolio files of learner assessments needed from January 2011: • the current name “learning areas and programmes” will change to “subjects”.

• the language chosen by the learner as a Language of Learning and Teaching will also be taught as a subject at least as a First Additional Language, from Grade One.

from January 2012 Following educator orientation and the development of materials, which will take place in 2011, the following changes will be introduced: • the number of subjects in Grades 4 to 6 will be reduced from eight to six. Technology will be combined with science, arts and culture will be combined with life orientation, and economic and management sciences will be taught only from Grade 7.

• there will be clearly delineated topics for each subject and a recommended number and type of assessments per term.

• workbooks will be provided for all learners in Grades 1 to 6. The books will be piloted in schools in 2010 and they will be available for use in all schools in 2011. The project will provide resource support to 6,5 million learners and approximately 180 000 teachers in nearly 20 000 schools.

• a national catalogue of learningand teaching-support materials from which schools can select textbooks will be available.

• the importance of textbooks in the achievement of quality learning and teaching has been re-emphasised.

• the National Curriculum Statement is being repackaged so that it is more accessible to educators.

• every subject in each grade will have a single, comprehensive and concise Curriculum and Assessment Policy Statement (CAPS) that will provide details on what content educators ought to teach and assess on a grade-by-grade and subject-bysubject basis.

• outcomes will be absorbed into more accessible aims, and content and assessment requirements will be spelled out more clearly. Topics and assessments to be covered per term are being aligned to available time allocations per subject.

• from 2010, there will be externallyset annual national assessments for Grade 3 and 6 learners.

• The weighting of continuous assessment and end-of-year exams will be as follows: Grades R to 3 100% continuous assessment; Grades 4 to 6 75% continuous assessment; 25% end-of-year exam.

magazine cape town

straight up

so not funny LEONORA FOUND canvassed a number of nearly teens for the things parents do that embarrass them. Here’s what they said…

the e, with just five minutes until I cringe when at the school gat hugs and kisses. bell, my mom corners me for

I don’t like it when, in public, my mom refers to my friends by their nicknames.

g for school outings! And she doesn’t She sings, like really sings, when liftin even know the words. e for most embarrassing situation (Note to all parents: the Golden Glob Madonna not a parent?) went to parents singing in public. Is

It only sounds right Sometimes, my dad drives down the road and hoots at a

when we say them.

random person and waves, pretending to know them. It used to

Even

be funny, but not anymore. It’s so embarrassing, I duck.

when she calls me

drops me at school wearing her

Pops or Wiggles

pjs. I don’t think anyone can see

like she did when I

that she is wearing them, but I still

was five.

find it extremely embarrassing.

My parents are okay… (pause) … ish. It’s kind of embarrassing when

ILLUSTRATION: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

we are out and they loudly say hello to anyone they see from my school, when I am trying to make sure anyone I do see, doesn’t see me – especially with my folks.

My dad thinks it’s cool when he calls my friends by their surnames as if he is one of the guys. It’s so totally not cool.

It’s lame when they greet my friends loudly and affectionately and try and be cool. Oh my gosh, my mom is the same. She says ‘hey girlies’ when she sees us together. I want to run and hide.

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worse,

is

My heart races when my mom

The other day my mom offered one of the Grade 5 boys a lift to hockey and then chatted to him all the way as if he was one of my BFFs [Best Friend Forever]. Can you imagine if any of my friends had see n me? How embarrassing!

Big time cringe factor is when my folks hold hands or kiss when we’re out. (It is sort of sweet and makes me happy when they do, but nobody else should be allowed to see.)

The worst is when my mom fetches me from school and hoots and waves from the car to get my attention. It’s not like I don’t know what she looks like – or that I won’t recognise the car.

I get embarrassed when they tell personal stories about me.

When they start, I don’t know exactly what they are going to say and am nervous they are going to say something I don’t want them to say.

(Fair enough!)

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37

health

anorexia a parent’s guide

Anorexia is on the rise amongst young girls – and some boys – in South Africa. The good news is that the eating disorder can be prevented. A parent’s first

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November 2010

has ruled her life ever since. She’s woken up at 2am to exercise (compulsively doing everything from weight training and running on the treadmill to kickboxing). She’s also stayed home rather than go out with friends for dinner in case someone should suggest she eat something fried, battered, doughy or, even worse, have dessert. “Food has been my biggest enemy all my life. Not only have I robbed myself of 20 years but also robbed my children of having a fully functional, energetic mother.”

While there are currently no statistics on the prevalence of anorexia in teens and pre-teens in South Africa, according to Dr Rita Thom, principal psychiatrist at the Adolescent and Eating Disorder Unit at TARA Psychiatric Hospital in Johannesburg, “eating disorders are being seen more in all racial and socio-economic groups,” with probably between three and five percent of the population affected by eating disorders as a whole (that includes anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and

eating disorders not otherwise specified [which is actually the largest category of eating disorders], she says.

who is most likely to develop anorexia?

Professor Christopher Szabo, head of clinical psychiatry at Wits University, when interviewed on a recent episode of Carte Blanche, suggested that the common view that the disease affects middle class Western girls and women is being questioned. “Our

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PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

r

ina de Beer, 36, a technical assistant from Cape Town, and mother to two young girls says, “at first people will tell you how good you look. That causes you to eat less even though you are constantly hungry, cold and lethargic. Then people start commenting on the fact that you never eat.

This causes distress because you’re not sure which is better: not eating and being thin or eating and being fat.”

Rina first developed anorexia aged 16 and her constant obsession with being thin

step? Educate yourself. By KAREN ROBERTSON

understanding about who might be at risk is being turned upside down as far as we see males with the problem, younger and older sufferers, as well as individuals from different kinds of cultural and racial backgrounds.”

But, says Cape-based clinical psychologist Kate Rogers, “Anorexia most frequently occurs during adolescence, a period of identity confusion and adjustment.”

UK researchers and authors of Childhoodonset eating problems Claudine Fox and Carol Joughin agree, “There are fewer patients with eating disorders aged between eight and 13 years than there are aged between 14 and 19 years.” And Thom, who in her six years at TARA has seen just one pre-teen girl of 11 years of age confirms, “Pre-teens with anorexia are rare.”

However, while eating disorders are more common in teenage girls, younger children are prone to what Fox and Joughin term, “eating problems”. This refers to the likes of “faddy eating” in which children are unwilling to try new foods, “poor appetite” and a “refusal to eat solid foods”.

While these problems are “relatively rare” according to experts and do not necessarily lead to eating disorders, it is important to

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If a young girl does not have a healthy self-esteem, then she is much more likely in a particular social context to develop an eating disorder.

note that some, such as childhood-onset anorexia nervosa, are more serious and can have an effect on your child’s physical and psychological development.

While experts agree that eating disorders occur more commonly in girls, boys are susceptible too. Szabo noted that according to international literature, male anorexic sufferers tend to have a homosexual orientation.

why do children become anorexic?

“I would say that the media is partly to blame for eating disorders in young children,” says Rina. “I see it in my own two daughters – my eldest (17) is bigger than her younger sister (12) and she is constantly comparing her body. Also, it is extremely difficult to find hip clothes for bigger teenagers.”

Rina points a finger at the dietaid industry and the advertising that accompanies it. “Individuals who diet are probably eight times more likely to develop an eating disorder,” confirmed Szabo. But, while Thom agrees that our ideas of female beauty in the western world are “distorted, unrealistic and can be dangerous”, she stresses that anorexia is a complex

disorder and it takes a lot more than media messages about beauty to develop.

When children feel stressed and out of control (perhaps they’ve changed school, lost a family member, their parents are getting divorced, they’ve been sexually abused), they may develop anorexia as a way to exert control over their emotions.

For Rina, whose father was abusive towards her mother and was also verbally abusive to her about any weight she gained,

control was critical. “When I controlled what I ate, I could lose weight and by losing weight I pleased the people around me,” she says. “Obsessing about weight, where the obsession becomes all-consuming, becomes the perfect distraction from underlying problems,” confirms Rogers.

A desire to be “perfect” is a common thread running through many anorexia sufferers. According to Althea Sherry, a Johannesburg-based counselling

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health

Children with anorexia often appear to be ‘model’ children – well-behaved high-achievers in sports and/or studies.

psychologist and founder of recoveryspace. org, a local website promoting recovery from eating disorders, perfectionism can be seen in a tendency to set extremely high goals and frustration or tearfulness if these goals aren’t met. As a result, children with anorexia often appear to be “model” children – well-behaved high-achievers in sports and/or studies.

And some parents can also play a role. Says Johannesburg-based clinical psychologist Lauren Gower, “I don’t think it’s helpful to say parents are to blame, but sometimes they might be trying to get their children to remedy something that they didn’t manage in their own development.” This was certainly true in Rina’s case.

“My father was extremely ambitious, overcompensating for what he missed during his school years. My siblings and I had to excel in both the sport and academic fields.” But when her teenage hormones kicked in and she started to gain puppy fat, he would make hurtful comments. “He made me feel like a broken toy. Not good enough to be his daughter.”

While Rina’s father’s attitude is thankfully the exception, there does appear to be one rule among anorexia sufferers. “One of the core features underlying all eating disorders is a disordered sense of self – self-esteem and self-worth,” says Thom.

“If a young girl does not have a healthy self-esteem, then she is much more likely in a particular social context to develop an eating disorder.” (See box on page 41 for tips on developing a healthy self-esteem in your child.)

on the lookout What are the warning signs that your child could be developing an eating disorder?

She… • eats alone.

• says she has already eaten.

• plays with her food.

• cooks gourmet meals but doesn’t eat any of the food herself.

• exercises excessively, possibly in secret.

• constantly talks about her weight and that of others.

• compares herself to others.

• wears oversized clothing to hide weight loss.

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November 2010

if you suspect your child has anorexia…

Seek professional help as soon as possible. A UK study found that it took on average 7,4 months between parents initially requesting professional help and referral to specialist services. According to Fox and Joughin, this delay could be the result of doctors not understanding and recognising the eating problems that children suffer from. “Some empirical research investigating older patients with eating disorders has found that a shorter history of illness is a predictor of good outcome.”

According to Thom, a usual treatment plan would include the following: assistance with weight restoration (usually with input from a dietician), psychological treatment and, on occasion, medication (this is to treat co-morbid depression or anxiety disorders, which are common – there is no medication that treats anorexia nervosa).

You and your family are part of the solution. “A child’s mental health issue could indicate that there is something out of balance in the family,” says Sherry. “In addition to individual therapy, family therapy is important to help the family to change behaviours that may be contributing to, or maintaining, the eating problems.”

Don’t blame yourself, but do check in with yourself. How much do you obsess about your own weight? “If putting on weight becomes a life-or-death drama for a parent then this will impact on a child,” says Gower. This is of particular importance for adolescents whose hormone changes may lead to weight gain, which might seem unacceptable to a child if her mother is extremely weight-conscious.

Sherry suggests the following rule of thumb: “Avoid commenting on your own weight or the weight of others, decrease a family focus on appearance, weight and food, mention positive role models who are successful for reasons other than appearance and encourage a focus on other positive attributes such as creativity.”

Educate yourself and don’t underestimate the disease. In the early stages, an anorexic is comfortable with her illness – it is her means of coping and she is unlikely to want to change. “Trying to take this ‘safety raft’ away causes extreme anxiety and is likely to lead to deceit in order to protect the symptom,” says Sherry. Rina agrees: “Unfortunately this disease makes you magazine cape town

a very cunning liar. Do not believe your child when she says she has already eaten.”

It is therefore important to familiarise yourself with the disorder. Understand that forcing your child to eat is not a solution, neither is showing your child pictures of other anorexic sufferers – “they are immune to that,” says Rina. She also suggests monitoring Internet use. “Do not allow your child to go into chat rooms where they can pick up hints on losing weight.”

Connect with others. Online resources are a great way to connect with other parents and gain support. Try something-fishy. org, a US-based website that allows you to participate in bulletin boards and

chat with other members. It also provides links to other useful websites. In addition, log on to the locally run website, recoveryspace.org.

Finally, do not let the illness rule your life too. According to experts at the Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children in the UK, as well as supporting your child through this difficult time, it is important to concentrate on your own needs too.

You’ll need all your resources to cope with the demands on your child, yourself and the rest of your family, so continue to involve yourself in activities that keep you strong and inspired and your family connected.

eating disorders can be prevented Dr Rita Thom, principal psychiatrist at the Adolescent and Eating Disorder Unit at TARA Psychiatric hospital in Johannesburg, suggests how: • Develop a healthy self-esteem in your child, through providing “good-enough” parenting (loving your child and showing them that you love them, but also setting limits on what they can and cannot do).

• Establish good communication with your child.

• Be realistic about your expectations.

Become self-aware, in particular of when you are expecting your child to achieve, to meet your own needs rather than theirs.

• Model good eating behaviour – eat meals together as a family, enjoy a variety of foods and eat a balanced diet yourself and as a family.

• Don’t make food a battleground, but see it as part of human life;

necessary and to be enjoyed in moderation.

• Be aware of areas and times of high risk – the onset of puberty in girls is often accompanied by an increase in “puppy fat” and changing body shape – educate your child on this and how this will change as she grows and develops.

• Encourage team sports and discourage over-achievement in individual sports.

• Schools are a breeding ground for eating disorders – be aware of your child’s friends and their attitudes to eating – discuss these with your child and your concerns if you have any (see suggested script below), as you would if your child’s friends abused substances.

“my child’s friend has anorexia. what should i do?”

Althea Sherry, Johannesburg-based counselling psychologist has these tips to help you chat to your child about her friend’s anorexia: “Parents should tackle eating disorders sensitively and let their child know that they can’t fix their friend. Be supportive and encourage the person to talk more about themselves.”

Suggested script: I’ve noticed that Sally has lost a lot of weight recently, and I’ve been wondering if she’s going through a tough time. Has she spoken to you about anything? How do you think she’s doing? I know you need your space, but I’m always around to chat to you or Sally if either of you need me.

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November 2010

41

getaway

surviving

namibia

CHRISTINA CASTLE explores Namibia with her family and discovers the most beautiful country in

t

his, I said to the boys, is not going to be a fancy holiday. Not that we really do fancy holidays. But I felt I had to justify the dicey spot I’d booked us into last minute just the other side of the Namibian border.

“It’s going to be more of an adventure holiday,” I added. “You know, camping, no electricity, 4x4ing, scorpions and punctured tyres…”

“It’s a survivor holiday, Mom,” said Alex putting it in perspective. “And that’s why I’ve brought along The Boys’ Book of Survival.” At which time he produced the little yellow book out of his backpack like they do in really bad direct-marketing TV commercials and proceeded to tell me how to survive an avalanche.

“Interesting, sweetheart. You don’t suppose they mention surviving ablution blocks in there as well?” I enquired. And, just for the record, they don’t.

on the road Well at least we were there. There being Noordoewer, Namibia, six hours north of Cape Town, and day one into a journey we’d been planning for almost a year.

With the Prado bursting at the seams, bikes on the back, GPS desperate to shout its directions and four excited travellers, no, adventurers, we hit the gravel road the next morning and headed for the desert.

Space. Sand. Silence. Three words you need to wrap around your head when it comes to the Namib Desert. And very much in that order. Once you’ve done that you can add words like stars, gemsbok, very dry skin, fantastic hikes, bat-eared fox, dune boarding, freezing nights, mild days, stars (I know I have mentioned them already but there really were so many), springbok, filthy children, stars, ostriches, solar power, and my favourite: quiver trees.

Home for our first few days in the desert was a little farmhouse in the NamibRand Nature Reserve – no electricity, encroaching sand dunes, no cellphone reception, uninterrupted views across pale yellow plains, impressive mountains. Book in one hand and camera in the other, we could walk when we wanted to, play barefoot soccer in the sand every spare second – we could have spent weeks here.

But we didn’t, instead we ventured north to the famous Sossusvlei to conquer some of the largest dunes in Namibia.

We only managed to get half way up the biggy but the solitude of the dunes was what we had really come for. And our quiet little spot on that beautiful fine red sand at seven in the morning was awesome.

camping for beginners Swakopmund was a fix of luxury before the camping began.

top 10 moments (plus one) 1. Standing on the edge of the Etosha Pan. 2. Sand-boarding in the dunes at Namibrand.

3. Hiking to the White Lady paintings in the Brandberg.

4. Spotting desert elephant just minutes after we’d seen the elephant sign on the road between Palmwag and Outjo.

5. Playing soccer every afternoon with all the boys in the camp at Palmwag.

6. Witnessing three shooting stars in as many minutes in the Waterberg.

7. Picnicking on the edge of the Fish River Canyon, not another soul in site.

8. Standing in a supermarket queue in Outjo with a bare-breasted Himba woman in front of me.

9. Putting up our tent for the first time.

10. Watching black rhino and elephant drink at the Halali Camp waterhole in Etosha.

11. Devouring the most spectacular springbok fillet at the Fish River Canyon.

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Now I have to confess two things.

One, I don’t understand why Angelina and Brad had to rush to the sleepy town of Swakopmund to have their child. Two, we are not natural born campers. We do not even own a tent. For this trip we’d cleverly hired a trailer packed full of all the things you need to go camping, which we collected in Swakopmund.

Namibia is an overlander’s paradise, which means you’ll share the road with experienced overlanders in their serious 4x4s with equally serious 4x4 trailers.

These trailers are state-of-the-art, designed for any off-road experience and packed neatly with all the camping gadgets, plugs, drawers, kitchenware, gas bottles, satellite dishes, clothes lines, microwaves, solar panels, you name it, to make life in the bush as hassle-free and comfortable as possible. Press a button and these trailers will probably erect the tent for you and start braaing your dinner as well.

Our trailer was not one of these.

Think Venter trailer and Os du Randt, and that’s pretty much it: not pretty, but practical. And equipped only with the stuff you need for an honest camping experience.

“Armand,” said Greg, my husband, as we took temporary ownership of the “tank”.

“Does the tent have instructions?”

“No,” said Armand, the wonderful Namibian from whom we had hired our trailer. “But go to Green Sports in town. They have a tent just like it in the shop window.

That will show you how to put it up.”

And that’s exactly what we did. While my 12-year-old son, Dylan, lay in the tent to examine the internal construction, Greg studied the exterior. They had it taped – we hoped.

Over the next nine days, as we camped our way across the north of Namibia, through Brandberg, Palmwag and Etosha, our novice camping status was promoted to “almost experienced”. By the end of it we could set up camp in under half an hour and pack up in about forty-five minutes. As for the ablution blocks in the campsites, or “pollution blocks” as my camping friend calls them, well, I survived them. And I am very proud of myself. It helps, however, that they were always incredibly clean, pretty much empty and came equipped with two-ply toilet paper. magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: CHRISTINA CASTLE, THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

the world and a secret talent for erecting tents.

But camping is more than just putting up a tent and sharing ablution blocks. It is about being together. Cooking together, chilling together, cleaning together. And it’s fantastic to do this with other families.

Sharing stories, tea bags, Peaceful Sleep, red wine and food around a fire.

the wild side The northern area of Namibia is wild in every sense of the word. When there’s a triangleshaped sign on the side of the road with an elephant in it, it really means that there are elephant in the area – we can vouch for that.

The gravel roads are unforgiving – we can vouch for that too. We lost our rear window when a stone ricocheted off the nose of the trailer. But the landscape is spectacular, vast and mesmerising.

Everything you see has a story to tell. From the 2 000-year-old rock art at Spitzkoppe and Brandberg, and the crystals and welwitschias that just lie in your path at Palmwag, to the 250 millionyear-old Petrified Forest on the C39 and the equally petrified owner of a campsite in Uis. You might have to hike a bit and swat a few flies along the way, but the journey is worth it and the tales even

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better. The locals are sussed, helpful and proudly share their Namibia with those fortunate enough to travel there.

People tell you about the raw beauty of Etosha. And although most of us have seen wildlife documentaries filmed there, there is nothing quite like seeing it for yourself. No photographs or words quite do it justice. Suffice to say the camps are really well equipped, the pools are a winner and the Ola merchandiser is doing a terrific job up there – every shop in Etosha had a full freezer of Magnum ice creams. Brilliant for a hot afternoon in the bush. Not so brilliant for the backside.

so long, but not goodbye Homeward bound via the Waterberg Plateau Park, Windhoek (to return the trailer) and the Fish River Canyon. Virtually tar road the entire way except for a few hundred kilometres.

The Waterberg Plateau Park is a fantastically lush area that was a battleground during the war between the Hereros and German forces in the early 1900s. Today it is a wildlife sanctuary that boasts awesome hiking opportunities.

Several hundred kilometres down the track is the Fish River Canyon.

Considered the second largest canyon in the world, it’s a breathtaking experience and was certainly the most fitting way to finish our journey.

We spent an entire day meandering along a 4x4 route that hugged the canyon’s edge and picnicked in absolute

trip planner

solitude. At night we feasted on springbok, gemsbok and ostrich at a surreal little spot littered with derelict classic cars.

Next stop, Cape Town. We’d travelled more than 5 000 kilometres in three short weeks. We’d experienced the wild, survived ablution blocks, had a peek at the past and can’t wait to get back there soon – trailers and all.

• Namibia Wildlife Resorts,

Inspired to get going on your own

nwr.com.na (camping and self-

Namibian adventure? Here are some of

catering chalets in Etosha)

the websites we used.

• Nel’s Estates, nels-estates.com.na (self-catering apartments

transport • I Dream Africa Adventures, email butterfly@mweb.com.na (trailer hire) • Desert Car Hire, desert-carhire.com (4x4 hire)

in Swakopmund) • Palmwag Campsite, palmwag.com.na (camping, cottages and luxury accommodation in Palmwag) • Cañon Road House,

accommodation

gonwana-collection.com

• NamibRand Family Hideout,

(camping and bed and breakfast

hideout.iway.na (self-catering

accommodation at the Fish

house in NamibRand)

River Canyon)

November 2010

43

resource

toddler-friendly restaurants

Eating out with your toddler doesn’t have to be a survival challenge. LUCILLE KEMP rounds up some

Alexia’s Since Alexia’s is a Greek spot, anything “lamb” is the order of choice. Sunday lunch includes a three-course set menu with the main course being roast beef, lamb and pork.

Top toddler feature: more often than not you can find the children on the carpeted area, to the side of the entrance, playing with their dolls or cars. The Seaside Village courtyard is just around the corner, and has

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November 2010

“horsies”, a swing, jungle gym and a giant chess set. There is also a room to hire, the price of which includes a childminder.

Address: Shop 12, Seaside Village, cnr Otto du Plessis Drive and Cormorant Rd, Big Bay For more info: 021 554 2774

Bread and Wine This Franschhoek hideaway is frequented by locals as well as families making the trek

from Cape Town. Children love the ravioli carbonara and you will enjoy the pork belly or the signature sunshine antipasti platter as well as the banana-bread bruschetta. Sitting at an outside table means your children are within view as you enjoy the top-notch food.

Top toddler feature: the area lends itself to outdoor exploration with a shallow pond that children use to race their boats, beautiful trees for squirrel-spotting and a big enough grass area for playing catch.

Address: Môreson Wine Farm, La Motte, Happy Valley Rd, Franschhoek For more info: 021 876 3692 or visit moreson.co.za

Caveau at the Mill Caveau bursts with families for Sunday brunch. The famed fillet (two beef medallions) is popular with adults. Children choose Caveau’s kiddie steak (one medallion), and of course the macaroni and

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

places that are geared for families like yours.

cheese is a hit. Try their bread-and-butter pudding, which is made with croissants rather than bread.

Top toddler feature: childminders watch your children in their indoor, all-weather play area. The area has toys, a mat, and reading and colouring-in books.

Address: 13 Boundary Rd, Newlands For more info: 021 685 5140 or visit caveau.co.za

Coco Bean Café Coco Bean has a peaceful and intimate ambience with the most beautiful view

of Long Beach. Families flock to the café for their honest, “no flowers” breakfast, lunchtime wrap and Lexi’s sandwich, a simple toasted ham and cheese, which is loved by children.

Top toddler feature: the secure outside area is sheltered from the wind and has a treat of a jungle gym that leads into the trees. The children will enjoy playing with Coco, the friendly, resident staffie.

Address: Red Herring Trading Post Complex, Beach Rd, Noordhoek For more info: 021 789 1320

Easy Dig Café

Coco Bean Café

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This café’s soon to be additive-, gluten, wheat- and dairy-free menu is the inspiration for its name Easy Dig, short for easily digestible. The one-slice wonder, (one egg, one strip of bacon) is a hit with children, as are the brownies and crumpets.

Parents favour the savoury chicken pancake or the homemade beef, bacon, rocket and avo burger, as well as the organic wine or coffee.

Top toddler feature: their children’s section is extensive with swings, a slide, seesaw, face-painting (when Mel is around), an

Italian Kitchen

aviary, chalkboard and their newly created sensory perception herb corner.

Address: Harry Goeman’s Garden Centre, Kommetjie Rd, Kommetjie For more info: 021 785 3201, 072 320 7470 or visit harrygoemans.com

Italian Kitchen This eatery enjoys providing a quality dining experience while making all members of the family feel welcome. Italian Kitchen’s kiddie

coolies, gelato ice cream and pizza are top on the children’s list while parents enjoy their specialty prawn-and-mussel tagliatelli, the fresh line fish, a sizeable burger that comes on ciabatta and a seriously good wine selection.

Top toddler feature: children up to six years of age get their own pizza, colouringin books and crayons.

Address: 21 Tokai Rd, Tokai For more info: 021 713 4218

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45

resource Address: Montebello Design Estate, 31 Newlands Ave, Newlands For more info: 021 687 9314 or visit kwalapa.com

Mountain View Farm (Big Barrel Pub)

Joostenberg Bistro & Deli

Joostenberg Bistro & Deli Set in a relaxed farm environment, the restaurant offers a set three-course Sunday lunch. They are renowned for their pork dishes. Adults love the charcuterie platter and their pork sausages served with apple sauce and mash, while the pork sausages and chips combination is popular with the little ones.

Top toddler feature: far-reaching grounds with a play area; horse rides on weekends Address: Klein Joostenberg Farm, R304, Stellenbosch For more info: 021 884 4208 or visit joostenberg.co.za

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November 2010

Kwalapa Organic Whole Foods Store and Deli The deli is set in a tent wrapped around a giant New Zealand Christmas tree. The menu is flexible with everything from flapjacks and honey to plain egg on toast.

For the grown-ups, they’ve got a three-egg herb, wild mushroom and farm-cheese omelette; Bloublommetjies Kloof beef goulash; and Spier chicken, mayo, apple, mint, pumpkin and celery wraps.

Top toddler feature: relaxed and organic, including the jungle gym and squirrels! The playground is in clear view of parents, safely enclosed by a thicket of twigs.

Contained within Mountain View Farm, Big Barrel Pub is ideal for a hearty breakfast.

For lunchtime, the favourite is the barrel platter, which will suit tastebuds of all ages. The outside area has tables on the grass and under a patio.

Top toddler feature: there are seven cats on the farm as well as an enclosure with a pot-bellied pig, goats and sheep. There is also space to run and kick a soccer ball, play on jungle gyms, swings and slides and explore an old boat. Their children’s menu doubles as a colouring-in page.

Address: Just off the M13, Durbanville For more info: 021 556 4511 or visit mountainviewfarm.co.za

around in; plenty of ducks to feed plus a chicken enclosure. There are crayons and colouring-in books plus a host of children’s activities on Sunday with bouncy castles and face-painting.

Address: Solole Game Reserve, 6 Wood Rd, Sunnydale, Noordhoek For more info: 021 785 5123 or visit rioja.co.za

Slatterys Slatterys is set in an old Cape Dutch house under oak trees with a huge outside

Rioja Rioja borders the Solole Reserve, where your family will eat alfresco and in close proximity to African wildlife such as buffalo, ostrich and springbok. Children love Rioja’s chocolate milkshakes, wood-fired pizza, and bangers and mash. Try their duck confit, sesame seared tuna or springbok rump with wild mushroom sauce.

Top toddler feature: large jungle gym and play area; huge gardens for children to run

Rioja

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Spiros A Mediterranean restaurant loved for its hot and cold mezze platter and its lamb shank. Children get their fill from the spaghetti and meatballs or pastitio – macaroni and mince with béchamel sauce.

Top toddler feature: They have a childminder and a children’s corner, kitted out for dressing up, colouring in and watching movies. The front area just outside the restaurant has swings and the back has an enclosed courtyard, great for parties.

Address: 30 Main Rd, Hout Bay For more info: 021 791 3897

Strandkombuis

Slatterys

area that can seat 300 people. For big events they have childminders and there are specials for families on Thursdays.

Children love the nuggets and chips. The good news is that you can get grilled, instead of fried, chicken strips and you can replace the chips with vegetables. Parents will enjoy Slatterys’ springbok pie.

Top toddler feature: their indoor play corner with puzzles, colouring-in books and hand-held games plus their outdoor jungle gym, swing and chalkboard Address: Van Riebeeckshof Rd, Oude Westhof, Durbanville For more info: 021 913 7753/4

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This rustic, open-air restaurant with fantastic sea views is on the dunes, just a few steps away from the unspoiled 16-Mile Beach. Adults can enjoy the seafood buffet – the large, fire-grilled garlic and lemonbutter prawns are a highlight. The children love their fresh warm bread, fish soup and tender calamari.

Top toddler feature: playing on the beach and in an old fisherman’s boat. They provide buckets, spades and a plastic shell to play in as well as a slide with balls.

Address: 16-Mile Beach, Yzerfontein For more info: 022 451 2360 or visit strandkombuis.co.za

Vanilla Café If you find yourself in Greyton for the weekend, make Vanilla Café one of your

mealtime pit stops. The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party is the café’s main dish for girls while boys enjoy the soccer balls and shoelaces (spaghetti bolognaise). Otherwise, they have burgers, chicken-on-a-stick or fishcakes. Adults can choose from oxtail, homemade beef lasagne and bobotie, or Thai fishcakes.

Top toddler feature: the fenced-in playground with a jumping castle and art classes for children, especially during school holidays Address: 18 Ds Botha St, Greyton For more info: 028 254 9453 or teapot@ vanillacafe.co.za

Strandkombuis

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47

resource

summer camps overnight camps Adventure Sports and Tours 4U Adventure Sports and Tours 4U runs threeand five-day overnight holiday camps with Haadin Waggie as lead guide. He is a registered nature guide in South Africa with four years’ experience working in outdoor camps for children in the US. Their camping venue is in the Cederberg reserve area and activities include hiking and rock climbing. Evening activities include talent shows, campfires, night walks and stargazing. A convenient meeting point is arranged with groups depending on the venue. They also run day camps with activities that include hiking, surfing, rock climbing and mountain biking.

Your teenager will love: canoeing and swimming in summer For more info: 021 696 3631 or visit adventure4u.co.za

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November 2010

Camps that’ll keep your teen or preteen entertained this school holiday. By LUCILLE KEMP

Buffalo Drift Buffalo Drift offers three- and five-day adventure camps with a range of activities, incorporating camp-outs, survival skills, river trips, target shooting, mountain biking and working with farm animals.

All the camp counsellors have worked in US summer camps and have experience working at Bootcamp, youth groups or coaching sports at schools. The team also has first-aid and lifeguard qualifications.

Pick-up and drop-off points are at the Pinelands MacDonald’s and Starlite Diner at the Bellville Velodrome.

Your teenager will love: night fishing, canoe river trips during the day, target shooting and archery. Bootcamp and the adventure race are also highlights where obstacles and riddles are set up all over the farm.

For more info: 082 258 3764 or visit buffalodrift.co.za

Camp Brain Gym: Adventure Camp Brain Gym is a discipline that uses movement to bring about improvement in learning areas such as memory, concentration and focus. Brain Gym camps focus on various outdoor activities as well as drama, all of which work to develop skills, self-esteem and learning. Facilitators are registered Brain Gym consultants, some are teachers, and their helpers are carefully selected students or young teachers. Parents drop children off at various venues.

Your teenager will love: doing drama and swimming For more info: 084 450 5808 or visit braingym.org.za

Kidz Get Wild Kidz Camps These camps, held over the December holidays, include activities such as paintball, nature hikes, bush craft, high- and low-rope

Sun Scene

activities, “art attack”, swimming activities, raft building, a foefie slide, abseiling, rock climbing and water slides. Evening activities include treasure hunts and movie making.

The team leader, Hein Wandrag is an ex-teacher and has extensive experience

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running children’s activity camps. He holds a senior first-aid certificate and all the counsellors are school teachers or student teachers. There is a local GP on call at all times. Most parents drop and collect at their venue in Tulbagh or transport can be arranged with a suitable private transport operator at an additional cost.

Your teenager will love: archery, paintball, a waterfall hike, giant jacuzzi swims, water balloons, art, drumming and bush crafts For more info: 021 712 6715 or visit kgw.co.za

table tennis and circus skills. Facilitators have backgrounds in early childhood development, physical education or teaching. Parents drop off and collect their children from the venue, which will be located in Cape Town in December.

Half-day is 8am–noon, midday from 8am– 3:30pm and full-day 8am–5pm.

Your teenager will love: orienteering, karaoke and swimming.

For more info: 021 855 4701 or visit capeyouthadventures.co.za Liquid Grace Adventures

King’s Camps Liquid Grace Adventures These overnight camps incorporate wakeboarding, bungee jumping, game drives, waterskiing, abseiling, wakeskating, fishing, mountain biking and zip-line tours.

Members of the Liquid Grace team are trained in areas such as sport management, life skills, surf coaching and first aid. Its 16-seater bus departs from Cape Town/ Somerset West and can collect from any town along the N2 between Cape Town and Knysna or from George Airport.

Your teenager will love: tubing, canoeing and watching video footage of each other completing the day’s activities.

For more info: 021 852 5411 or visit liquidgrace.co.za

Oxygen Adventures Activities at the camps include horse riding, obstacle courses, box-cart races, various

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sports, creative kite-building and paintball, while evening activities include night hikes and campfire stories. The head of Oxygen Adventures, Eugene Belcher, started his career as a youth worker in 2000. Parents drop off and collect their children from the venue in Riversdale.

Your teenager will love: horse riding, the obstacle course and box-cart racing.

For more info: 072 990 0359 or visit riversdaleridingschool.co.za

day camps Cape Youth Adventures Cape Youth Adventures divides children into three age groups for activities such as clay modelling, dance, dodge ball, drama, face-painting, soccer, gymnastics, junior orienteering, making music, mini olympics, mini tennis, jewellery making, volleyball,

This daycare sports camp forms part of the King’s Foundation, a registered children’s charity. On the first day of camp the children are split into age-appropriate groups. Thereafter various activities may include martial arts, cricket, swimming, dance performance and a range of specialised activities for young children (age 3–5 years). The drop-off point is inside school grounds near the junior hall of St Georges Grammar School, Richmond Road, Mowbray.

Your teenager will love: the sports tournaments and fun free-time Fridays.

For more info: 0845 643 5272 or visit kingscamps.org

bookings. They have eight years’ experience in running children’s groups and have a solid safety record. All guides are trained in level one first aid and have activity-related experience and qualifications to teach surfing, sandboarding and an adventure course. This includes negotiating a “climbing wall”, with holds set up on a giant gum tree. Transport to and from the venue is available depending on your group’s requirements. Pick-up or drop-off points can be arranged.

Your teenager will love: sandboarding, the high- and low-ropes adventure course, and being in the outdoors.

For more info: 021 783 0203 or visit sunscene.co.za

Sun Scene Outdoor Adventures Sun Scene Outdoor Adventures runs activity camps during school terms and school holidays on the basis of prearranged group

Oxygen Adventures

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books

a good read for toddlers toddler treasure

Poddy and Flora

By Paula Metcalf (Macmillan Children’s Books, R90) Some things go very well together: like jelly and ice cream, buckets and spades… and Flora and her beloved dog Poddy. The two of them do everything together. But when Flora goes to visit Grandma, Poddy has to

stay at home and suddenly nothing is

(Priddy Books, R29) This slide-and-find book has doors to open and questions to answer, but children as young as a year old will also enjoy the visuals and help you narrate as they contribute animal sounds.

The book helps with the development of hand-eye coordination and problem solving. With clear photography and simple text, the Bright Baby range of board books helps to develop and build early vocabulary through the introduction of fun pictures and single words.

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much fun for Poddy. But it isn’t only Flora he’s missing – his tail seems to have disappeared too! The awardwinning children’s author and illustrator Paula Metcalf stunningly illustrates this endearing and amusing tale about a little girl and her much-loved dog.

Metcalf also created Norma Snows and We Love Bunk Beds!

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

Who says Moo?

for preschoolers and early graders Sing a Song of Bottoms!

By Jeanne Willis and Adam Stower (Penguin, R93) Bottoms are top in this laugh-out-loud read-along story from award-winning writer Jeanne Willis. Join her in the funniest talent show ever. In a fabulous rhyming text, meet bears with baggy bottoms, pigs with perky pinky ones, rhinos with wrinkly ones and peacocks that love to put theirs on display.

Perfect for reading aloud and guaranteed to cause fits of giggles, one thing’s for sure – whoever is the winner, you and your child will enjoy this book.

Animals of the Rainforest – Touch & Feel Adventure (Harper Collins, R40) Your baby will love discovering the rainforest by touching realistic textures.

You can point out colours too, as you introduce your child to different furry, bumpy and fuzzy animals. Babies as young as six months are introduced to tactile elements, first words and bold, bright colours. The sturdy, hard-board cover is easy for toddlers to handle and the glossy pages can be wiped clean.

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Nici’s Pocket Presents

By Marion Drew and Vian Oelofsen

The Little Brainwaves investigate... Animals

By Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar (Dorling Kindersley Publishers, R118) This book for animal-lovers between five and seven years of age explores the furry, feathered, fascinating world of animals with the Little Brainwaves. They’re small enough to explore a mouse hole, brave enough to look up an elephant’s trunk and crazy enough to get between the teeth of a tiger. The inquisitive and fun-loving Little Brainwaves will bring your child closer to animals where they can learn, for example, how different the male orang-utan looks from the female (he grows a moustache and a beard!) and that a bird’s bones are full of holes to make them lightweight.

(Tafelberg, R95) This book is perfect for readers eight to 10 years old. Nici is looking for gifts to take back to her cousins after her holiday in Cape Town. She looked on the beaches for seashells and even considered taking a rock from Table Mountain, but she knew her cousins would not be happy. All that was left, was the gifts they had asked for… a seagull for Mally and an octopus for Tim. How Nici gets these presents to Johannesburg has some wildly entertaining consequences. This tongue-in-cheek book might be a good launching pad to chatting about animal rights with your children.

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for preteens and teens Oxford School Dictionary of Word Origins

By John Ayto

words are fun

(Oxford University Press, R130) This book gives the curious twists and turns of the cool and weird words we use. Children can unravel the history of thousands of words and phrases used in the English language and take a fresh look at food words, terms for supernatural creatures, fashion lingo, invented words and much more. For example, did you know the word migraine comes from the Greek word hemikrania, which means “half-skull”? John Ayto, top word expert, entertains all ages from nine to 90 with this informative and humorous dictionary.

In the Trees

By Pauline Fisk (Faber Children’s Books, R102) Kid Cato has left behind his life in London to look for his father in Belize, on the Caribbean coast. But what he finds instead is a group of gap-year volunteers – just the boring, do-good types he’s always hated, but he’s stuck with them, and stuck with the jungle, too. By the time the jungle is done with him, he’ll never be the same. And neither will Kid’s new companions. Their adventure in the trees will change them all. Pauline Fisk’s writing is fresh and well researched. In the Trees is a coming-of-age story inspired by the environment and a different culture.

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Johnny Mackintosh – Star Blaze

By Keith Mansfield

Have you Started yet?

By Ruth Thomson and Chloë Thomson

(Quercus, R106) This is the second Johnny Mackintosh book for fans of action stories and science fiction aged 12 and older. Alien invaders have exploded a nearby star, turning it into a supernova, and only Johnny Mackintosh knows the earth’s sun is next. Time is of the essence, so Johnny leaves behind his schoolwork and football practice, and travels into space with his sister Clara to seek help. Then they run into Nicky, their long lost brother. What was Nicky doing all those years away and on whose side is he? This is an epic adventure full of devious aliens, intent on ruling the galaxy... and killing Johnny Mackintosh.

(Macmillan Children’s Books, R90) Starting her period is part of a girl growing up, but the subject is often clouded by rumours and embarrassment. This book explains exactly what periods are, why they happen and how they will affect your daughter. It asks the questions and gives the answers simply and openly, with plenty of practical advice. The authors sent out hundreds of questionnaires and went to lots of schools to interview many women, girls and boys to find out what their experiences have been like and to find out what they wanted to know. They have included some of these quotes, so that your child can see how experiences and attitudes differ.

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parenting books

for us Speeches That Changed The World

pick of the month

(Quercus, R141) Speeches That Changed The World has already sold over 750 000 copies. This revised edition includes many additional speeches such as Nikita Krushchev’s secret 1956 denunciation of Stalinist Russia and Kevin Rudd’s historic apology to Australia’s mistreated Aboriginal people. Moving and thought-provoking, this new edition will continue to inspire and enlighten readers, offering them a fascinating perspective on historical milestones through the power of the spoken word.

Caught

By Harlan Coben (Orion Books, R165) Seventeen-year-old Haley McWald is the pride of her suburban New Jersey family – captain of the lacrosse team and headed off to college to fulfil her hopes and dreams.

Then Haley disappears. Wendy Tynes is a reporter that specialises in bringing down sexual predators by publicly naming and shaming them on the news programme, Caught in the Act. Her latest target, however, is a social worker known as a friend to troubled teenagers. In a novel that challenges as much as it thrills, Caught tells the story of a missing girl, the community stunned by her loss and the predator who may have taken her.

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Children of the Sun

By Max Schaefer (Penguin Books, R220) In 1970 14-year-old Tony is seduced by the skinhead movement, sucked into a world of racist violence and bizarre ritual. It’s a milieu in which he must hide his homosexuality.

In 2003, James, a young TV researcher living with his boyfriend, begins to research the far right in Britain, and its secret gay membership. He becomes particularly fascinated by Nicky Crane, the leader of the movement who came out as gay before dying of Aids in 1993. The two narrative threads of this novel follow Tony through the seventies, eighties and nineties, as the skinhead movement splinters and weakens, and James through a year in which he becomes immersed in his research. This is not a book for the faint-hearted.

Optimum Nutrition for Your Child: How To Boost Your Child’s Health, Behaviour and IQ

By Patrick Holford and Deborah Colson (Piatkus Books, R187) This guide for parents, based on the latest research, tells you which foods your child should be eating for optimum good health and development. It points out the foods that can improve your child’s mood and behaviour, and boost their intelligence as well as which vitamins and minerals are vital to their health. The book is also a guide on how to prevent and overcome childhood problems such as obesity, food allergies, sleep problems and ADHD. Co-author Patrick Holford is one of the world’s leading authorities on new approaches to health and nutrition.

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what’s on in november Things to do, places to go, ways to give back, talks and exhibitions plus loads of fun for the whole family. compiled by LUCILLE KEMP

28 sun

special events

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FUN for children

60

only for parents

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bump, baby & tot in tow

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how to help

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SPECIAL EVENTS

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FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Apricot Picking Some delectably sweet Bulida apricots for you? ‘Tis the season!

Sunday Brunch and Jazz After a frenzied weekend, unwind in the seductive romantic courtyard of Harvey’s at the Winchester Mansions.

Planet Kids Spend a fun-filled day at this Muizenberg-based, ecofriendly, indoor play and activity centre, which welcomes children with disabilities.

Bags of Hope Crafty Kids Pack This project aims to keep disadvantaged children busy and off the streets over the holidays.

November 2010

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PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

SPCA Wiggle Waggle Walkathon Dogs of all shapes and sizes, breeds and pedigrees and their owners will do a gentle 4,5km walk to raise funds to help lessfortunate animals being cared for by the Cape of Good Hope SPCA.

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SPECIAL EVENTS 3 wednesday Cape Town Military Tattoo For four days the military performs and parades for you.

Ends 6 November. Time: 5:30pm. Venue: Castle of Good Hope. Cost: adults R70– R100, children R40 per day. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or for more info: visit capetattoo.co.za The FNB Whisky Live Festival showcases more than 180 local and international whiskies and a host of new releases to South Africa. Ends 5 November. Time: 6pm–10pm daily. Venue: CTICC. Cost: R180–R450. For more info: contact@whiskylivefestival.co.za or visit whiskylivefestival.co.za

5 friday Cape Town Show premieres Ten young adults were selected for the Rainbow Academy, a non-profit organisation for those who are passionate about the performing arts but lack the resources for tertiary training. Five months of intensive rehearsals later they are ready to present a show. Professional actors and musicians lead the show and mentor these enthusiastic young hopefuls. Time: every Wednesday and Friday, 7pm throughout November. Venue: The Rainbow Room, Mandela Rhodes Place, Cape Town. Cost: R295, which includes a three-course dinner.

5–7 November – Varingfees

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Contact Alison: 021 422 1418 or alison@ rainbowcpt.co.za Chameleon’s Montessori School golf day Funds raised will go to The Chameleon’s Montessori School Bursary Fund for lessprivileged children and to the Durbanville Farm Schools Trust. Time: tee-off 11:15am.

Venue: Durbanville Golf Course. Cost: R1 400 per four-ball. To book: 021 976 9611 or info@chameleonsmontessori.co.za Varingfees Three days of live Afrikaans music from the likes of Bok van Blerk, Heuwels Fantasies and Bobby van Jaarsveld.

Ends 7 November. Time: Friday 4pm until late, Saturday 9:30am until late, Sunday line-up starts 9:30am. Venue: Brackenfell High School. Cost: Friday adults R100, children R50 (Grade 1–12); Saturday adults R120, children R60; Sunday free. For more info: visit varingfees.co.za Westcott fun fair Highlights include an Idols competition and on Saturday there is a dog show, dancing, band parade, carnivalstyle rides, a ferris wheel and an obstacle course for little ones. Also 6 November.

Time: Friday 5pm–10pm and Saturday 10am–8pm. Venue: Myburgh Rd, Diep River. Cost: R10 entry, children under 4 years free. Contact Gina: 021 712 8804 or 083 216 6533

6 saturday Global Diabetes run/walk This 5km or 10km family fun run/walk is a circular route along the Sea Point promenade. Wear something blue, make it wacky and win a prize. There are spot prizes, a health expo and entertainment. Time: 8:30am–noon.

Venue: Mouille Point Lighthouse, Beach Rd, Cape Town. Cost: adults R30, children R20 (under 18 years), R80 for two adults and two children under 12 years. Discounted rates apply for DSA members. To enter, visit entrytime.com before 1 November, download a Cape Town entry form from diabetessa.co.za or register with Sportsman’s Warehouse on 29 October in Rondebosch or on 30 October in Canal Walk Family fair Games, a magic show, craft activities, candle-dipping and The Great Races. Second-hand books, diaries, plants,

prizes, foot massages, deli and cakes for sale. Time: 11am–3pm. Venue: Christian Community Church, 39 Timour Hall Rd, off Gabriel Rd, Plumstead. Cost: free. Contact: 021 762 0450, christianco@telkomsa.net or visit thechristiancommunity.org.za

6 November – Summer Strawberry Festival

Summer Strawberry Festival Facepainting, fresh strawberries, pink cupcakes, eagle and owl handler, children’s play area, music and food offerings of the Stellenbosch Fresh Goods Market. Time: 9am–2pm.

Venue: Oude Libertas, cnr Adam Tas and Oude Libertas Rds, Stellenbosch. Cost: free.

Contact Karin: 021 886 8514 or admin@ slowmarket.co.za or visit slowmarket.co.za

The Deutsche Internationale Schule Kapstadt fête offers Gemütlichkeit, a Christmas stall, traditional German cakes and books, a silent auction, farmyard stall, children’s entertainment, a beer tent and Cape Town’s longest foefie slide. There is also a raffle draw for two Lufthansa tickets to Europe. Time: 11am–8:30pm. Venue: 28 Bay View Ave, Tamboerskloof. Cost: adults R20, children free. Contact Charmaine: 021 480 3840 Milnerton Primary School fête and funfair day Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Zastron Rd, Milnerton. Cost: R50 rider ticket, R10 non-rider ticket. Contact: 021 555 2796 or stormhyd@telkomsa.net Reflectionz Demonstration showing various examples of Equine Assisted Growth and Learning (EAL) activities to enrich the understanding of what this process entails.

For parents and children 9 and older. Time: 9:30am–noon. Venue: Clara Anna Fontein Private Game Reserve and Country Lodge, Durbanville. Cost: R90. Contact: 021 553 4348 or 082 373 0358

7 sunday The Landmarks challenge This year’s 6km fun run/walk incorporates the Schools Challenge. Schools are asked to enter as many pupils as possible so that your school

19 November – Goldilocks and the Three Bears

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12 fri

8pm. 21, 28 November 3pm. Venue: Theatre-on-Main, 1 Church Rd, Tokai (near Blue Route Mall). Cost: R60. Contact: 021 715 9510, info@theatreonmain.co.za or visit theatreonmain.co.za World of Dogs and Cats and Pet Expo Take the entire family along for the dog breed parade, the Young Stars Competition for puppies aged four to 18 months, adult and veteran shows, puppy training displays, dog agility, SA Dog Jumping Championships, a Cats vs Dogs showdown as well as the Cat Show. Ends 21 November.

Time: 10am–6pm daily. Venue: Good Hope Centre. Cost: adults R50, children under 12 R30, children under 2 free. Contact: 031 765 4286

20 saturday

Contego Wines2Whales three-day MTB stage race Get the family out to various vantage points along the spectator-friendly route and welcome the cyclists as they pass. Ends 14 November. Time: 8am. Venue: race starts at Lourensford Wine Estate, Somerset West and ends in Hermanus. Cost: free for spectators. For more info contact: 0861 383 591, w2w@stillwatersports.com or visit wines2whales.co.za

can get a share of the prize money. The Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital is the event’s official charity – bring a gift for a sick child and drop it off at one of the ADT security patrol vehicles. Time: 7am. Venue: Western Province Cricket Club Sports Centre, off Keurboom Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: children R10, adults R15. To enter and for more info: 021 657 3331 or Top Events: 021 511 7130 or entries@topevents.co.za

10 wednesday Womb Tide A story that follows an eccentric and somewhat dysfunctional family through love, loss and hope. Ends 4 December. Time: 8:15pm. Venue: Baxter Golden Arrow Studio. Cost: R50–R95.

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Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com or contact the Baxter: 021 680 3962

13 saturday Annie the musical This popular Tony Award-winning Broadway musical is based upon the Harold Gray comic strip Little Orphan Annie. Ends 5 December.

Time: 2:30pm, 6pm and 7:30pm. Venue: Artscape Opera House. Cost: R115–R230.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695 Family fun day for Lady Buxton Educare Centre with fun for the children and food stalls. 13 November. Time: 10am–2pm.

Venue: St Joseph’s, Rondebosch. Cost: free.

Contact Julia: 021 674 3110

19 friday Goldilocks and the Three Bears Lilliput Players stage this delightful children’s classic. After each show the children can meet Father Christmas. Please take a present for an underprivileged child, which can be distributed to hospitals and children’s homes. Ends 24 December. Time: Monday–Saturday 10:30am. Venue: Baxter Theatre, Rondebosch. Cost: R38. Contact: 021 558 2650, 083 364 8284 or elton@ lilliputplayers.co.za La Marelle summer launch features a fashion show, pancakes and children’s movie projection by French children’s fashion label, La Marelle. Time: 5:30pm– 7pm. Venue: Alliance Française, Loop St. Cost: free entry. For more info: 082 889 7087 or visit lamarellelecap.com The Girl with Enamel Eyes This ballet production is about a scientist, who tries to give life to her creations and to the toys she repairs. Exciting and scary events unfold when teenagers break into her house. 4 years and older. 19–21 and 26–28 November. Time: 19, 20, 26, 27 November

Cape Town Male Voice Choir festive concert The CTMVC has been asked to take part in an international competition in London in 2012. Funds raised will go towards this and the Red Cross Hospital Trust. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: Cape Town City Hall. Cost: R100. Contact: 082 468 7504 or aecon.e@mweb.co.za SARDA Open Garden and Art Exhibition Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Pinehurst Lodge, Bonnyrig Rd, Constantia (third road off Strawberry Lane). Cost: R50 entry at the garden on the day includes tea/coffee and treats. Contact: 072 583 5919, capetownpr@sarda.co.za or visit sarda.co.za

21 November – Delheim MTB day

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21 sunday Delheim MTB day A 7km or 14km run or mountain biking event on the slopes of Simonsberg in aid of the local charity. Also a 3½ hour hike on a trail not normally open to the public. For ages 6 years and older. Time: 8:30am.

Venue: Delheim Wine Estate, R44 near Stellenbosch. Cost: R35–R100. Contact: 021 884 4752, theteam@dirtopia.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za Full moon hike Enjoy a Sunday night with friends and family on top of Klapmutskoppie.

For ages 6 years and older. Time: from 6pm. Venue: Delvera Farm, R44 between Stellenbosch and Klapmuts. Cost: adults R50, children under 10 R20. Contact: 021 884 4752, theteam@dirtopia.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za

Thirty Seconds to Mars returns to South Africa as part of their worldwide “Into the Wild” tour. Their music ranges from rock to post-grunge and alternative metal. Time: 7pm. Venue: Grand Arena, GrandWest Casino, Goodwood. Cost: R215–R365. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000

24 wednesday The Cape Dance Company celebrates its 15th anniversary this year with a dynamic anniversary season featuring works by top international and local choreographers, performed by an ensemble of superb dancers. Ends 4 December. Time: 8:15pm.

Venue: Artscape Theatre, Foreshore. Cost: R100–R150. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695

25 thursday Stellenbosch Christmas market A variety of goods on sale at 180 stalls. A jumping castle, painting table and colouringin facility will keep the little ones occupied.

Ends 4 December. Time: Monday–Friday 9:30am–8:30pm, Saturday 9:30am–3pm.

Venue: Dutch Reformed Central Church, Stellenbosch. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 883 3850 or visit familiekerk.com

26 friday 24 November – The Cape Dance Company

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 premieres at all major cinemas.

25 A Gift Affair

thurs

Find unique handcrafted gifts, fashion items, garden and home accessories, scrumptious deli delights and enjoy lunches, light suppers and refreshments. Ends 27 November. Time: Thursday and Friday 10am–8pm, Saturday 10am–4pm. Venue: Welgemeend Manor, Kloof St, Gardens. Cost: R20 entry. Contact: 083 420 1327 or visit agiftaffair.blogspot.com

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oldemort’s power is growing stronger. He now has control over the Ministry of Magic and Hogwarts. Harry, Ron, and Hermione decide to finish Dumbledore’s work.

Spier White Light Festival A novel way to celebrate the start of the festive season is a dazzling display of light – fire dancers, sculptures and lanterns – and a diverse collection of artistic performances. The festival is a journey across the estate, which starts at the Spier Deli. Spier’s “Angel of Light” leads the procession on stilts. Time: 8pm. Venue: Spier Wine Farm, Stellenbosch.

Cost: adults R100, children under 12 R60

(includes a glass of wine for adults). Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or for more info: visit spier.co.za

27 saturday Annual crayfish braai to celebrate the start of crayfish season. There is a separate children’s menu, if required. Time: 6pm. Venue: Creation Winery, Hemelen-Aarde Valley (near Hermanus). Cost: R250. Contact: 028 212 1107 or visit creationwines.com Hout Bay Green Faire The fun day features a recycled fashion show by students, wind and solar power, green products and services, healthy food, eco-house building demos, talks and music on the solar stage.

Time: 10am–6pm. Venue: Kronendal Primary School, Hout Bay. Cost: adults R20, children R10. Contact: info@envirochild.org or visit houtbaygreenfaire.org St Martini Church Christmas bazaar offers games and a puppet show for the children, crafts and cake for mom and bratwurst and beer on tap for dad. There are three new stands: white elephant and tombola for children plus one for adults.

Time: 10am. Venue: 240 Long St. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 423 5947

28 sunday 27 November – St Martini Church Christmas bazaar

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SPCA Royal Canin Wiggle Waggle Walkathon Dogs of all shapes and sizes, breeds and pedigrees and their owners do a

28 November – The 2010 charity toy run

gentle 4,5km walk to raise funds for animals being cared for by the Cape of Good Hope SPCA. You need not have a dog to enter.

There is plenty to keep walkers and their children entertained before the walk with dog agility displays and spot prizes. Time: race starts at 9am. Venue: School for Maths, Science and Technology, Tokai. Cost: R20 per dog, R30 per person, children under 3 free. For more info on pre-registration: 021 700 4141, comms@spca-ct.co.za or visit spca-ct.co.za.

The 2010 charity toy run Motorcyclists from across the region turn out, with toys adorning their bikes, to make the holidays a little brighter for disadvantaged children in orphanages, shelters, homes and hospitals throughout the country. Time: entertainment point in Maynardville opens at 10am; toy run starts at 10:30am. Venue: ride starts at Ratanga Junction and Ottery Hypermarket, and ends at Maynardville.

Cost: bring at least one toy. Contact: info@ toyrun.co.za or visit toyrun.co.za

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29 monday

your child takes a friend to Little Cooks Club on 13 November you get your child’s fees discounted to R50. For children 2–7 years. Time: 10am–11am. Venue: Little Cooks Club Northern Suburbs, 3 Vlei St, Aurora, Durbanville. Cost: R90 per child, unless it’s 13 November and they bring a friend. Normal rates apply for the friend. Contact: 073 227 3404 or lisab@ littlecooksclub.co.za Short Chefs nutritional programme offers cooking classes for children and their FUN FOR CHILDREN parents. 6, 13 and 20 November. Time, age and cost: 2–3 years 9am–10am R90; 4–7 art, culture and science years 11am–noon R120. Venue: 179 Circle Cape Town Male Voice Choir concert Rd, Tableview. Contact: 072 430 8813, 20 November. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: Cape 083 378 6470 or shortchefs@gmail.com Town City Hall. Cost: R100. Contact: The Shining Way for Kids workshop 082 468 7504 or aecon.e@mweb.co.za Through her own loss, Cathy Kindermusik with Nats Music and Bouwer has realised that children movement classes that stimulate a need to learn to really enjoy life. child’s brain. The various programmes She works to give your children are geared to particular ages and the chance to understand stages. For more info: 076 814 themselves, and to 7981, 072 227 4879 or visit make the right choices kindermusikwithnats.co.za in life. 14 November The Sky Tonight A live level 1 (emotion and lecture on the current gratitude) and 28 night sky. You receive a star November level 2 Kindermusik with Nats map and are shown where to (colour therapy, core find the constellations and planets. work and love languages). Time: 6–9 years Suitable for teenagers and adults. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm, 10–13 years 2:30pm– every Saturday and Sunday, 1pm. Venue: 5:30pm. Venue: call to enquire. Cost: R450 Iziko Planetarium, Queen Victoria Rd, per child, per workshop. Contact Cathy: Gardens. Cost: adults R20, children R6.

082 377 4319, cathy@wlhealing.co.za or Contact: 021 481 3800 or visit iziko.org.za visit wlhealing.co.za Tots n Pots is a fun-filled cooking and classes, talks and workshops baking workshop to educate children and Cooking class for teens Practical, handsencourage healthy eating habits. Time, age on classes teaching teens (14–18 years) and venue: Daisies Coffee Shop, The Garden how to prepare a three-course dinner Shop, Doordrift Rd, Constantia: 2–6 years from scratch. 6 and 13 November. Time: Monday 2pm–3pm, 3–6 years Wednesday 2:30pm–5:30pm. Venue: 13A Summit 2:30pm–3:30pm, 2–3 years Thursday 2pm– Place, Summit Rd, Nova Constantia. Cost: 3pm, 2–10 years Saturday 9am–10am.

R250. Contact Russ: 072 291 2208 or dir@ Bizzy Bodies, Westlake Business Park, Bell mi-net.co.za Crescent, Tokai: 2–3 years: Tuesday 10am– Introductory fabric-painting workshop 11am. Cost: R640 per term (eight weeks) Step-by-step teaching for adults and or R85 per class if space available. Contact: children. No artistic background needed.

083 649 7405 or visit totsnpots.com 27 November. Time: 8:45am–10:45am.

Venue: Pinelands. Cost: R25 for a kit. family outings Contact: 082 391 4954 or wendyadriaan@ A Gift Affair 25–27 November. telkomsa.net Time: Thursday and Friday 10am–8pm, Little Cooks Club bring-a-friend Saturday 10am–4pm. Venue: Welgemeend day Little Cooks Club promotes healthy Manor, Kloof St, Gardens. Cost: R20 entry. eating in children through fun, educational Contact: 083 420 1327 or visit agiftaffair. and hands-on cooking programmes. If blogspot.com Kidz Discovery mini-open day for information and 2011 enrolment in their complete and age-appropriate baby and toddler weekly classes (from 3 months and older), Brightstart Preschool Preparedness programme (2½–4½ year olds), and art classes (6–12 year olds). Time: 11:30am– 1pm. Contact Kathy: 083 654 2494 or visit kidzdiscovery.co.za

26 November – Spier White Light Festival

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Cape Town Military Tattoo 3–6 November. Time: 5:30pm. Venue: Castle of Good Hope. Cost: adults R70–R100, children R40 per day. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or for more info: visit capetattoo.co.za Claremont Spring Fair provides a food fair, Kids’ Zone (sand art, rides, beading, tombola and hair spraying), Wii games, live music, Christmas gifts for home and garden, auction and plants. 30 October.

Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: St Stephen’s Church, 86 Belvedere Rd, Claremont. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 674 3446 Contego Wines2Whales three-day MTB stage race 12–14 November. Time: 8am. Venue: race starts at Lourensford Wine Estate, Somerset West, and ends in Hermanus. Cost: free for spectators.

For more info: 0861 383 591 or visit wines2whales.co.za

February 2011. Time: 6pm–8pm. Venue: access the cableway via Tafelberg Rd. Cost: R90 for adults return and R45 children under 18 years return. Contact: 021 424 8181 or visit tablemountain.net The 2010 charity toy run 28 November.

Time: entertainment point in Maynardville opens at 10am and the bike ride starts at 10:30am. Venue: ride starts at Ratanga Junction and Ottery Hypermarket, and ends at Maynardville. Cost: bring at least one toy. Contact: info@toyrun.co.za or visit toyrun.co.za Varingfees 5–7 November. Time: Friday 4pm till late, Saturday 9:30am till late, Sunday starts 9:30am. Venue: Brackenfell High School. Cost: Friday adults R100, children R50 (grade 1–12), Saturday adults R120, children R60, Sunday free. For more info: visit varingfees.co.za Westcott fun fair 5 and 6 November. Time: Friday 5pm–10pm and Saturday 10am–8pm.

Venue: Myburgh Rd, Diep River. Cost: R10, children under 4 years free. Contact Gina: 021 712 8804 or 083 216 6533 World of Dogs and Cats and Pet Expo 19–21 November. Time: 10am–6pm daily.

Venue: Good Hope Centre. Cost: adults R50, children under 12 R30, children under 2 free. Contact: 031 765 4286

finding nature and outdoor play

The Deutsche Internationale Schule Kapstadt fête 6 November.

Time: 11am–8:30pm. Venue: 28 Bay View Ave, Tamboerskloof. Cost: adults R20, children free. Contact Charmaine: 021 480 3840

Family Fair 6 November. Time: 11am– 3pm. Venue: Christian Community Church, 39 Timour Hall Rd, off Gabriel Rd, Plumstead. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 762 0450, christianco@telkomsa.net or visit thechristiancommunity.org.za Family fun day 13 November. Time: 10am–2pm. Venue: St Joseph’s, Rondebosch.

Cost: free. Contact Julia: 021 674 3110 Hout Bay Green Faire 27 November.

Time: 10am–6pm. Venue: Kronendal Primary School, Hout Bay. Cost: adults R20, children R10. Contact: info@envirochild. org or visit houtbaygreenfaire.org La Marelle summer launch 19 November. Time: 5:30pm–7pm. Venue: Alliance Francaise, Loop St. Cost: free entry.

For more info: 082 889 7087 or visit lamarellelecap.com Spier White Light Festival 26 November.

Time: 8pm. Venue: Spier Wine Farm, Stellenbosch. Cost: adults R100 (includes a glass of wine), children under 12 R60. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or for more info visit spier.co.za St Martini Church Christmas bazaar 27 November. Time: 10am. Venue: 240 Long St. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 423 5947 Table Mountain Cableway sunset special Table Mountain, half-price special this summer. Table Mountain Cableway operates weather permitting. Ends 28 magazine cape town

Apricot picking at De Krans Wine Cellar With the apricot season around the corner, pick delectably sweet Búlida apricots at the farm. 24 November–4 December.

Time: 8am–4pm (except Sunday). Venue: Calitzdorp. Cost: R3,80 per kg. You are welcome to bring your own containers or you may buy from De Krans. Contact Helet or Bessie: 044 213 3314 or dekrans@ mweb.co.za Berry picking at Wildebraam Berry Estate It’s berry season so if you’re near Swellendam make a pit stop at Wildebraam to stock up on berries. Bring your own buckets or buy from the farm. Take a sun hat and closed shoes. 15 November–31 December. Time: Monday–Friday 8am– 5pm and Saturday 9am–4pm. Venue: Hermitage Valley S4, Swellendam. Cost: R5 to enter and R10 per kilogram, pre-picked berries R15 per kg. For more info: 028 514 3132 or visit wildebraam.co.za Bot River Barrel Race The Bot River station will be the centre of attraction with food, live music, prizes and lots of local wine plus the thrill of watching your team make the mad dash to the finish line. 30 October. Time: 11am–3pm. Venue: Bot River train station. Cost: R500 per team of four. Contact: 083 302 6562 or visit botriverwines.co.za Elgin open gardens There are five routes to explore: Grabouw and environs, Viljoenshoop Rd, Highlands and Valley Rd, Villiersdorp Rd and Vyeboom, Houwhoek and Bot River. 6 and 7 November. Time: 10am–5pm. Cost: varies according to route. Contact Barbara: 021 844 0154, 078 021 2101, info@elginopengardens.co.za or visit elginopengardens.co.za San guided tours A tractor ride, an easy walk on the trail, a visit to a replica traditional San village, an introduction November 2010

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to the San languages and an exhibition at the photo gallery. Time: 10am and 2pm, (closed on Mondays). Venue: Grootwater Farm, R27, Yzerfontein. Cost: adults R220, children R110 (includes complimentary drink). Family special: R450 for two adults with three children under 12 years. Contact: 022 492 2998 or visit khwattu.org SARDA open garden and art exhibition 20 November. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Pinehurst Lodge, Bonnyrig Rd, Constantia.

Cost: R50 at the garden on the day includes tea/coffee and treats. Contact: 072 583 5919, capetown-pr@sarda.co.za or visit sarda.co.za Summer strawberry festival 6 November. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Oude Libertas, Stellenbosch, cnr Adam Tas and Oude Libertas Rds. Cost: free. Contact Karin: 021 886 8514 or visit slowmarket.co.za Two Oceans Aquarium All year round, it’s a great family outing. Become a member for extra benefits. Time: 9am–6:30pm.

Cost: adults R94, children 14–17 R73, children 4–13 R45, children under four years free. Contact: 021 418 3823

markets Constantia Waldorf Night Market 26 November. Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: Constantia Waldorf School, Spaanschemat River Rd, Constantia. Cost: free entry, parking R15 per car. For more info: constantiawaldorfnightmarket.co.za

Country Craft Market 13 and 27 November. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: 186 Main Rd, Somerset West. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 021 852 6608 or 021 843 3287 Earth Fair Market Time: every Saturday 9am–2pm and every Wednesday 3pm– 8pm. Venue: South Palms, Tokai Main Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact Jacqui: 084 220 3856 or info@earthfairmarket.co.za Elkanah House Schoolyard Market 27 November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Elkanah House, 85 Sunningdale Dr, Sunningdale. Cost: free entry. Contact Michelle: 021 554 8586 Festive Fair An exhibition of specialised gifts, décor items, clothing, accessories and jewellery. 25–28 November. Time: Thursday–Saturday 10am–6:30pm, Sunday 10am–4pm. Venue: Hathersage Farm, Gordon Rd, Somerset West. Cost: adults R30, children under 12 years R10. Contact: info@tomarketwithlove.co.za or visit tomarketwithlove.co.za Kids’ Christmas Market Get your children to sell their festive homemade items such as Christmas decorations, pet rock paintings, handmade cards, lemonade, pot plants and pancakes. 21 November.

Time: 10am–noon. Venue: Scout Hall, Upper Orange St, Gardens. Cost: R20 per stall. To book a stall: visit kidsdecor.co.za Kids’ Market Day Book your child’s spot at the market to sell their homemade wares and eats. 6 November. Time: 10am–noon.

Stellenbosch Christmas market 25 November–4 December. Time: 9:30am–8:30pm, Saturday 9:30am– 3pm. Closed on Sunday. Venue: Dutch Reformed Central Church, Stellenbosch. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 021 883 3850 or visit familiekerk.com

Venue: Kiids Boutique, 51 Waterloo Rd, Wynberg. Cost: R20 per stall. For more info: 021 762 8935. To book a stall: visit kidsdecor.co.za Melkbos Craft Market Every Saturday and Sunday. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: cnr 6th Ave and Commaille Rd, Melkbosstrand.

Cost: free entry. For more info: visit melkboscraftmarket.co.za Nitida Farmers’ Market 26 (Christmas carols) and 27 November. Time: 26 November 5pm–9:30pm. 27 November 7:30am–noon. Venue: Nitida Cellars, on the M13. Cost: free entry. Contact Getha: 083 651 0699 or getha@nitida.co.za Porter Estate Produce Market Every Saturday, weather permitting. Time: 9am– 1pm. Venue: Tokai. Proceeds go to charity.

Cost: R5 per car. Contact: 082 334 5434, 082 823 4121, office@pepmarket.co.za or visit pepmarket.co.za Solole Village Market is a new market offering local food and crafts as well as wine tastings, face painting, cake decorating, bouncy castles and live jazz. Time: every Sunday 11am–4pm. Venue: 6 Wood Rd, Sunnydale, Noordhoek. Cost: free entry.

For more info: 021 785 5123, info@rioja. co.za or visit rioja.co.za Stanford Sunset Market on the Village Green 26 November. Time: 6pm–8pm.

Venue: Stanford Village Green, Stanford, Whale Coast. Cost: free entry. Contact Steph: 028 341 0340 or ask@stanfordinfo.co.za

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The Bluebird Garage A new market in Muizenberg with a big supervised children’s play area. Starts 5 November.

Community food and goods market, Friday 3pm–9pm. Antique and vintage market, Sunday 10am–4pm. Venue: 39 Albertyn Rd (behind Kitch Kombuis), Muizenberg.

Cost: free entry. Children’s area cost tbc.

Contact Dylan: 082 493 9055 or Kim: 082 331 2471 or dylanspeer@gmail.com

on stage and screen Annie the musical 13 November–5 December. Time: 2:30pm, 6pm or 7:30pm.

Venue: Artscape Opera House. Cost: R115– R230. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695 Cape Town Show Starts 5 November and runs throughout the month. Time: every Wednesday and Friday: 7pm. Venue: The Rainbow Room, Mandela Rhodes Place, Cape Town. Cost: R295, includes a threecourse dinner. Contact Alison: 021 422 1418 or alison@rainbowcpt.co.za Goldilocks and the Three Bears 19 November–24 December. Time: Monday– Saturday, 10:30am. Venue: Baxter Theatre, Rondebosch. Cost: R38. Contact: 021 558 2650, 083 364 8284 or elton@ lilliputplayers.co.za Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 premieres the first part of the last film shows at all major cinemas on 26 November.

magazine cape town

Indlovu People This show was also performed at the National Arts Festival, Out the Box and Voorkamerfest in Darling. A story about elephants and exploration that children love. 30 November–9 December.

Venue: Jungle Theatre, Muizenberg.

Contact: info@jungletheatre.co.za Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies A cast of baby animal characters from all over the world and their maternal elephant host, Mama Mirabelle, gather together in the savannah to watch home movies of themselves and other amazing creatures of the natural world. Premieres 15 November at 7:45am and 3:45pm on CBeebies (channel 306 on DStv). Series continues every day thereafter at 7:45am, 11:45am and 3:45pm The Cape Dance Company 24 November–4 December. Time: 8:15pm.

Venue: Artscape Theatre, Foreshore. Cost: R100–R150. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695 The Girl with Enamel Eyes ballet production The story of a doll that comes to life and finds love. 19–21 and 26–28 November. Time: evening performances 19, 20, 26, 27 November. Sunday performances 21, 28 November: 3pm. Venue: Theatreon-Main, 1 Church Rd, Tokai, near Blue Route Mall. Cost: R60. Contact: 021 715 9510, info@theatreonmain.co.za or visit theatreonmain.co.za

playtime and story time Bizzy Bodies A fun environment with lots of space to run, climb and jump for children up to 12 years old. Time: Monday–Saturday 10am–5pm. Venue: 23 Bell Crescent, Westlake Business Park, Tokai. Cost: R30–R40.

Contact: 021 702 0505, info@bizzybodies. co.za or visit bizzybodies.co.za Bloubergstrand Library story time Certain Mondays and Wednesdays for 10– 15 minutes. Call to enquire. Ideal for 8 and 9 year olds but the library does accommodate older children. Time: from 3pm. Venue: Andrew Foster Rd, Bloubergstrand. Cost: free. Contact: 021 554 1641 Book Lounge story time Every Saturday.

Time: 11am. Venue: 71 Roeland St, Cape Town. Cost: free. Contact: 021 462 2425, booklounge@gmail.com or visit booklounge.co.za Brackenfell Library story time every Wednesday, excluding school holidays.

Activities included. For children 3 years and older but can accept younger children.

Time: 10:30am–11:30am. Venue: Paradys St. Cost: free. Contact: 021 980 1261 Durbanville Library story time first Thursday of the month. Time: 10:30am– 11am. Venue: Oxford Rd. Cost: free.

Contact: 021 970 3094 Eikendal Library story time every Tuesday and Thursday. Time: 10:30am–11:30am.

Venue: Van Riebeeck Way, Kraaifontein.

Cost: free. Contact: 021 980 6160

Folio Books story time suitable for ages 3–9 years. 6 November. Time: 10:30am. Venue: Folio Books, 207 Main Rd, Newlands, opposite Westerford High.

Cost: free. Contact: 021 685 7190 or foliobooks@storm.co.za Hout Bay Library story time every Friday for children 2–5 years. They normally show a film after the story. Time: 10am– 11am. Venue: Melkhout Crescent. Cost: free. Contact: 021 790 2150 Jimmy Jungles Indoor Adventure Playground Time: Monday–Sunday 9am.

Venue: Bellville and Claremont. Cost: from R35. Contact: 021 914 1705 or info@ jimmyjungles.co.za Kloof Street Library story hour Monday 3pm–3:30pm (ages 2 and older) with a little Afrikaans thrown in. Contact: 021 424 3308 Kraaifontein Library Afrikaans and English story time for children from 2–10 years. Call Nelia to enquire beforehand.

Time: Wednesday 10am. Venue: Brighton Rd. Contact: 021 980 6209 Noordhoek Farm Village Activities held every Saturday. 6 November Crazy Cookie Day, 13 November Puppet Mania Day, 20 November Science Day, 27 November Mr Magic and his balloons.

Time: 10:30am–12:30pm. Venue: The Bandstand, Noordhoek Farm Village.

Cost: free. Contact: 021 789 2812 or visit noordhoekvillage.co.za

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Planet Kids single parent play date All single parents are invited and must be accompanied by at least one child not older than 12 years. Meet other single parents.

21 November. Time: 3pm. Venue: Planet Kids, 3 Wherry Rd, Muizenberg. Cost: adults free, children from R30. Contact: 021 788 3070 or visit planetkids.co.za Rondebosch Library story time every Wednesday and Friday for preschoolers from 3–5 years. Time: 10am. Venue: St Andrew’s Rd. Contact: 021 689 1100 Somerset West Library story time. For more info contact children’s librarian Paige: 021 850 4458 or 021 850 4526/7 The Playshed indoor play centre. Time: Friday–Sunday 9am–5pm, holidays Tuesday–Sunday 9am–5pm. Venue: Oude Molen Eco Village, Pinelands. Cost: call to enquire. Contact Madre: 021 801 0141 or 074 196 2778

sport and physical activities Cape Town Global Diabetes run/ walk 6 November. Time: 8:30am–noon.

Venue: Mouille Point Lighthouse, Beach Rd, Cape Town. Cost: adults R30, children R20 (under 18 years), family special R80.

Discounted rates apply for DSA members.

For more info: visit diabetessa.co.za

Children’s quad bike rides

Children’s quad bike rides Fully supervised, circuit format with all safety equipment provided. For ages 4–11 years, subject to height. Time: Saturday and Sunday 11am–3pm. Venue: Imhoff Farm, Kommetjie. Cost: R20 per ride. Contact: 072 565 1520 Delheim MTB day 21 November. Time: 8:30am. Venue: Delheim Wine Estate, R44 near Stellenbosch. Cost: R35–R100.

Contact: 021 884 4752, theteam@dirtopia. co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za Full moon hike 21 November. Time: from 6pm. Venue: Delvera Farm, R44 between Stellenbosch and Klapmuts. Cost: adults R50, children under 10 R20. Contact: 021 884 4752, theteam@dirtopia.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za Landmark challenge 7 November. Time: 7am. Venue: Western Province Cricket Club Sports Centre off Keurboom Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: adults R15, children R10. For entry enquiries contact: 021 657

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3331 or Top Events: 021 511 7130 or entries@topevents.co.za SPCA Royal Canin Wiggle Waggle Walkathon 28 November. Time: race starts at 9am. Venue: School for Maths, Science and Technology, Tokai. Cost: R20 per dog, R30 per person, children under 3 free. For more info on pre-registration: 021 700 4141 or comms@spca-ct.co.za spca-ct.co.za

only for parents

classes, talks and workshops A talk on effective ways to encourage emotional development and communication in children. 24 November. Time: 7pm–9pm.

Venue: Herzlia Lecture Theatre. Contact Polkaspot Early Intervention Centre: 021 422 1756 or info@polkaspot.co.za Cape Town Medi-Clinic childcare classes cover safety and hygiene, nutrition, age-appropriate stimulation and development, childcare, creating positive boundaries, CPR and first aid. Time: Wednesday 2:30pm–4:30pm. Venue: Cape Town Medi-Clinic, Hof St, Gardens. Cost: R1 000. Contact Daniele: 084 593 2314 or visit momsbabiesnannies.co.za Constantiaberg Medi-Clinic CPR training for family and friends For non-medical folks, parents and caregivers 12 years and older. 6 November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Burnham Rd, Plumstead.

Cost: R250. Contact: 021 797 2342 Discipline for peace workshops A set of four workshops that teach positive discipline skills relevant to children of all ages. 3, 10, 17 and 24 November. Time: 7pm–9:30pm.

Venue: 55 O’Okiep Rd, Rondebosch East.

Cost: R920 per person, R1 500 per couple.

Contact: 021 696 1946, sms 076 303 5324 or karoy@mweb.co.za Dissolving Barriers to Learning workshop Parents and teachers are invited to join in a two-day workshop with Jane James, co-leader of ECL, an international education system, to gain an understanding of family, school and community systems through exploring the principles of whole child/whole system. 6 and 7 November. Time: 9am–5pm daily. Venue: tbc. Cost: R750 per person. For more info: visit nowhere-ecl.org Mothers’ Group meeting A talk by Dr Chris Hofmeyr (ENT) on ear, nose and throat infections and how they can affect your child’s hearing. Children up to one year are welcome to attend with their mothers. 25 November. Time: 10am– 11am. Venue: boardroom, Milnerton MediClinic, Racecourse Rd, Milnerton. Cost: free. Contact Jacky: 083 328 0238 Kids Kitchen basic home cooking for domestic workers includes how to cook roast chicken and three 10-minute dinners.

Time: weekdays 9:30am–noon. Venue: Southern Suburbs. Cost: call to enquire.

Contact: 072 245 0627, jade@thekidskitchen. co.za or visit thekidskitchen.co.za Learn CPR and save a life Paediatric nursing sister Lee-Ann White will be running a CPR course for parents, childminders and au pairs. Discovery Health members earn vitality points for attending. 7 November. magazine cape town

Time: 10am–noon. Venue: Pinelands. Cost: R220. Contact Lee-Ann: 021 531 4182 or 072 283 7132 Nice Touch nannies and domestic workers basic cooking course Learn all the basics in four sessions. Starts 9 November. Healthy family-friendly meals – adaptable to all diets such as gluten-free, lactose-free or kosher preferences. Time: 9:15am–12.30pm. Venue: Mouille Point.

Cost: call to enquire. Contact Janis: 082 319 9215, cookwithjanis@gmail.com or visit nicetouch.co.za Sugar and Spice nanny training empowers your domestic worker with all the essential skills, knowledge and confidence she needs to care for your baby and young children. Course starts in Panorama: 2 November (four Tuesday afternoons), Claremont 10 November (four Wednesday afternoons), Green Point 12 November (four Friday mornings). For more info: 083 406 0028, kmcintosh@telkomsa.net or visit nannytraining.co.za

on stage and screen AR Rahman’s Jai Ho: The Journey Home World Tour by the composer of the Oscarwinning soundtrack of Slumdog Millionaire.

24 November. Time: 7pm. Venue: Grand Arena, GrandWest Casino. Cost: R300– R750. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit arrahmanlive.com Five20 Operas South African composers celebrate the South African College of Music’s Centenary year with five new 20minute operas. For 10 years and older. 21, 23, 24, 26 and 27 November. Time: 21 November 6pm, otherwise 7pm. Venue: The Baxter Theatre, Rondebosch. Cost: from R100. Contact: 021 410 9920 or visit capetownopera.co.za I, Claudia Ends 13 November. Time: Wednesday–Saturday, doors open 6pm, show starts 8:30pm. Venue: Kalk Bay Theatre. Cost: R100. Contact: 073 220 5430 or visit kbt.co.za Thirty Seconds to Mars 21 November.

Time: 7pm. Venue: Grand Arena, GrandWest Casino, Goodwood. Cost: R215–R365. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 Womb Tide 10 November–4 December.

Venue: Baxter Golden Arrow Studio. Time: 8:15pm. Cost: R50–R95. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com or contact the Baxter sales office: 021 680 3962

out and about Amy Biehl Foundation Gala Dinner Annual fundraising event themed ‘Gold of Africa’ featuring Michael Mol as MC, performances by Sans of Time, the Amy Biehl Foundation children and Aviva Pelham, Mtika, Thembi Mtshali-Jones and a short auction. Time: 7pm. Venue: Southern Sun, Cape Sun, Strand St. Cost: R1 000 per person. Contact: ilchen@ amybiehl.co.za Chameleon’s Montessori School golf day 5 November. Time: 11:15am. Venue: Durbanville Golf Course. Cost: R1 400 per four-ball. To book contact: 021 976 9611 or info@chameleonsmontessori.co.za magazine cape town

10 November – Womb Tide

FNB

Whisky

Live

Festival

3–5 November. Time: 6pm–10pm daily. Venue: CTICC. Cost: R180–R450. For more info: contact@whiskylivefestival.co.za or visit whiskylivefestival.co.za Grapes, Gourmet and Gallery evening features signature wines from Cabrière, situated in the Franschhoek Wine Valley. 17 November. Time: 7pm. Venue: Harvey’s, Winchester Mansions, Beach Rd, Sea Point.

Cost: R345. To book a table and for more info: 021 434 2351 Lionel Smit solo art exhibition 12 October–6 November. Time: Tuesday– Friday 10:34am–4:34pm and Saturday 10:34am–1:34pm. Venue: 34FineArt Gallery, 2nd Floor, Hills Building, Buchanan Square, 160 Sir Lowry Rd, Woodstock.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 461 1863 or visit 34fineart.com Sunday Brunch and Jazz 7 November, Melanie Scholtz, Andrew Ford, Dave Ridgway and Maurice Gawronsky.

14 November, Dixie Swingers Jazz Band. 21 November, Jason Reolon, Wesley Rustin and Maurice Gawronsky, featuring China. 28 November, Andrew Lilley, Charles Lazar and Maurice Gawronsky featuring Amanda Tiffin. Time: 11am–2pm. Venue: Harvey’s, Winchester Mansions, Beach Rd, Sea Point. Cost: R195. To book or for more info: 021 434 2351 or harveys@ winchester.co.za

support groups Autism Action Cape Town Contact: 078 578 7958, info@autismaction.co.za or visit autismaction.co.za Autism South Africa For more info: 021 557 3573, info@autismsouthfrica.org or visit autismsouthafrica.org CANSA Contact: 0800 22 66 22 (toll-free) or 021 689 5381 (8am–4:30pm weekdays), info@cansa.org.za or visit cansa.org.za Childhood Cancer Foundation of South Africa (CHOC) helps parents to meet other parents and cancer survivors.

Contact: visit choc.org.za Depression and Anxiety Support Group Call a counsellor Monday to Sunday 8am–8pm. Contact: 011 262 6396 or for a suicidal emergency contact: 0800 567 567.

For more info: visit sadag.co.za November 2010

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Down Syndrome SA 0861 369 672, dssaoffice@icon.co.za or visit downsyndrome.org.za Little People of South Africa Cape Town supports those with dwarfism as well as their families. Time: 2pm every third Saturday of the month. Venue: Bethany Fellowship, 225 Lansdowne Rd, Claremont.

Cost: free. Contact Rachelle: 082 366 8074 or littlepeopleofsouthafrica@gmail.com The Compassionate Friends of Cape Town Offering friendship and understanding to bereaved parents. 3 November at Milnerton Medi-Clinic 8pm; 8 November at Constantiaberg Medi-Clinic 8pm; 17 November at Red Cross Children’s Hospital 3pm; 23 November at Bellville Library 6:30pm. Contact: 086 122 7464 or support@tcfcape.co.za The Disabled Children’s Action Group Venue: 16 Broad Rd, Wynberg. For more info: visit boudoirliveproductions.co.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Cape Gate Medi-Clinic maternity unit tour Parents can inspect their facilities.

Time: Saturday 9am–11am. Venue: cnr Okavango and Tanner Rds, Brackenfell.

Cost: free. Contact: 021 983 5772 Cape Town Medi-Clinic obstetric unit tour Pregnant parents can book a tour of their facility. Time: Wednesday 10am. Venue: 21 Hof St, Tamboerskloof.

Cost: free. Contact: 021 464 5500 or visit mediclinic.co.za Home birth gathering provides a guest speaker, meet and greet, short film and open discussion. Midwives, partners and doulas welcome. 21 November. Time: 2pm–4pm. Venue: Birthrite Midwifery Services, 50 Nutall Rd, Observatory. Cost: R30 per person, R50 per pair. Contact Ruth: 078 557 9070, ruth@homebirth. org.za or Lana: 073 514 9754, doulalana@ vodamail.co.za or visit homebirth.org.za Milnerton Medi-Clinic CPR training for expecting moms and dads as well as for those who have older children.

20 November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Racecourse Rd, Milnerton. Cost: R250.

Contact: 021 797 2342

Parent Centre moms-to-be and moms and babies group Time: Thursdays 10am–noon. Venue: Kingsbury Maternity Section, Maternity Hospital, Wilderness Rd, Claremont. Cost: R35, includes refreshments. Contact: 021 762 0116 or zaiboe@theparentcentre.org.za Post-pregnancy pilates Dates and times can be adjusted by appointment. Time: Wednesday and Friday 10am. Venue: ONEWellness Spa, Radisson Blu Hotel, Beach Rd, Granger Bay. Cost: R80. Contact Christa: 083 232 5334

playtime and story time Clamber Club These groups are divided into three age groups for children between 9 months and 3 years to stimulate young minds. Gym activities are included. Also classes and activities for children up to 8 years. Contact head office: 011 325 2031 or visit clamberclub.com Jimmy Jungles has secure facilities for toddlers and children from 6 months of age. Time: Monday–Sunday 9am. Venue: Bellville and Claremont. Cost: from R35.

Contact head office: 021 914 1705 or info@jimmyjungles.co.za Kloof Street Library story hour Monday 3:30pm–3:45pm (0–2 years), Tuesday 9:30am–10am (0–2 years) with a little Afrikaans thrown in. Contact: 021 424 3308 Observatory Library story time every Wednesday for children 1–4 years. Time: 11am–11:30am. Venue: Station Rd. Cost: free. Contact: 021 447 9017 Planet Kids An ecofriendly, indoor play and activity centre that welcomes children with disabilities. Time: Monday– Sunday 10am–6pm. Venue: 3 Wherry Rd, Muizenberg. Cost: from R30. Contact: 021 788 3070 or visit planetkids.co.za Plinka Plonka Play indoor play area.

Time: summer weekdays 9am–5:30pm, weekends 9am–1pm. Venue: 171 Buitenkant St, Gardens. Cost: children under one year free entry, one year and older pay R40 for the first hour. Contact: 021 465 0503, playatplinkaplonka@gmail. com or visit plinkaplonkaplay.com Scallywags Play Café The café has a separate play area for children under 3 years. Time: Monday–Saturday 9:30am–

Kids for Kids Project

5pm. Venue: Scallywags Play Café, 44 Belvedere Rd, Claremont. Cost: R45 for unlimited play, siblings R35. Contact Lindsay: 021 671 5988, 083 662 8414 or info@scallywagsplaycafe.co.za Seapoint Library story time Every Wednesday 10am–11am for preschoolers and younger. Venue: Main Rd, Glengariff.

Please bring a photocopy of your children’s birth certificates if you want them to become a member of the library. Contact: 021 439 7440/1 The Playshed has a baby coupé, a special place where children under three years can play. Time: Friday–Sunday 9am–5pm, holidays Tuesday–Sunday 9am–5pm.

Venue: Oude Molen Eco Village, Pinelands.

Cost: call to enquire. Contact Madre: 021 801 0141, 074 196 2778 or visit mothercityliving.co.za

support groups Adoption Support Group for parents who have adopted or are considering the adoption option. Time: Wednesday 7:30pm–9:30pm. Venue: Rondebosch.

Cost: tbc. Contact Jean: 084 685 4839 or ct.adoption.support@gmail.com Hi Hopes Home-based support for families with deaf children 0–3 years old, once a week for an hour. Cost: free. Contact Renee: 021 938 6066, 076 891 8188 or devilliers.renee@gmail.com La Leche League breastfeeding support groups welcome pregnant and nursing mothers. 1 November in Panorama, contact Carol: 021 558 5319. 9 November in Durbanville, contact Trudy: 021 913 2816. 17 November in Parow, contact Dilshaad: 021 930 2475. Time: 10am.

Cost: free entry Postnatal Depression South Africa Contact the national helpline: 082 882 0072 or visit pndsa.co.za

how to help Bags of Hope Crafty Kids Pack Designed to keep vulnerable children busy and off the streets. This group aims to support two care centres, in Lavender Hill and Riebeeck Kasteel, by supplying craft packs during the long December holidays. Bags of Hope needs help in stocking the bags with plain paper, colouring-in books, pencil crayons, stickers, picture books, story books, and other art and craft tools. Contact Kirsty: 076 609 0949 Kids for Kids project From November 2010 to January 2011, Sea Harvest will donate 10 cents to the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital from the sale of every box of Sea Harvest Fish Fingers, Fish Burgers, Fish Cakes, Oven Crisp and all other coated products. The money will go towards a new Surgical Skills Training Centre where surgeons will be trained in minimally invasive surgery for adults and paediatric patients. For more info: visit childrenshospitaltrust.org.za Masikhulisene Day and After-care Crèche Masikhulisene teaches vulnerable children from disadvantaged areas and provides a secure environment for them to learn and develop. The organisation also provides parental skills training, support and counselling to families affected and infected by HIV/Aids by doing home visits and follow-ups twice a week. They need items to help them function on a daily basis. These include two big cooking pots, a TV, audio books (CD format), paint, a pigeon hole for the children’s bags, a lockable storage cupboard, furniture, stationery and educational toys. Volunteers are always welcome to help with tasks. Contact Miriam: 082 406 1138

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to lucille@childmag.co.za or fax it to 021 462 2680. Information must be received by 10 November for the SA Preemies Support group for parents of premature babies. Contact: 080 773 3643, 012 333 5359, support@preemiesforafrica.org or visit sapreemies.co.za

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December/January issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published.

magazine cape town

it’s party time

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November 2010

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it’s party time continued...

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last laugh

under-parenting SAM WILSON perfects the art of giving yourself

icture the scene: I was lying in my bed tucked in very cosily with a nice flippity-flip book and a bowl of Nik Naks. (I know, and I have white bed linen!). Joe walked in, with a book called Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know about Alexander the Great, or something equally unnerving.

“Mom?” he asked, without lifting his eyes from his book. “Did you know that Alexander the Great conquered...”

Now, I know Joey when he’s deep in historical obsession mode. If I gave him an inch here, he was going to give me an entire invasion. I had to intervene to protect my Nik-Nakked, trashy-booked happy moment.

“Joe, you know how often I’m really interested in that stuff?” I interrupted.

“Well, right now, I am enjoying just reading by myself. In fact, right now, do you mind if I under-parent for a bit? I just want to, you know, chill.”

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November 2010

“Totally. Got it. Enjoy,” Joe said, still without looking up, and he turned around and walked off, perfectly happily, to reimmerse himself in the dodgy doings of ancient rabble rousers.

It was an epiphany. Who knew that, once of a certain age, children totally get that you don’t always want to be Shiny Parent? That sometimes, as long as it isn’t all the time, you could claim your right to under-parent and that it would be totally cool?

Now, I am not talking about when you screw up. When you’re short-tempered and scratchy and you do something unimpressive, or you yell something unfair or you... well, use your imagination here, because there are as many ways to mess up as a parent as there are parents.

No, for that I have an entirely different device. It’s called the Therapy Jar – and it’s incredibly cool. The Therapy Jar is employed like so: Child drops toast sunny side down on floor. Stressed Mom totally

flips out at Child, who gets all cryey and sorry-for-self because his mom turned into a Harpy for no real reason.

Dad raises an eyebrow at Mom and says: “Hmm... that’s 10 bucks in the therapy jar.” Child smiles, feeling vindicated. Mom smiles, a little more ruefully. Dad smiles as he managed to tell Mom she was being a lousy parent without actually having to pull her up in front of Child. The Imaginary Therapy Jar has restored balance once more.

Don’t you just love the Therapy Jar? I suggest you all select your own immediately. Ours is made of lumpy brown pottery and is brimming with enough cash to take us to the Seychelles for a month.

No, under-parenting is a lot less nefarious. It’s when you see the Good Parent goalline, but you’re just not going to run this particular race, thanks very much.

You’re up for the next one, but right now,

Joe, Sam and Benj

you’re just going to sit out for a little bit and catch your breath.

Once you think of it like that, doesn’t the concept of under-parenting feel so much more valid than simply “needing a break?”

Maybe it’s because I play with words for a living, but somehow I find the notion very comforting. Oh, go on, try it. There’s an under-parent in you somewhere, and a child who’ll be more than willing to give you permission to unleash him or her.

Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24, Parent24 and Food24. She wrote this whole column – yes, you guessed it – while lying in her bed, leg tangled with Joe, reading a book on Alexander the Great.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth

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permission to be a less than Shiny Parent.