Child Magazine | Cape Town November 2011

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

underage stress what’s causing it?

is your child getting enough? essential nutrients for all ages and stages

thumbs up! raising positive children

retail therapy

www.childmag.co.za

November 2011

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festive family markets

education

entertainment

Hunter House

My oldest daughter, Julian, was an outgoing, exuberant and hugely energetic toddler.

She kept me on the run to such an extent that I was sorely tempted to buy a toddler-taming harness.

PUB L IS H ING

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za

But instead, I gave in to running after her, losing weight but never my child. Fastforward several years: Julian is now an adolescent and I am again tempted to employ the help of a harness – a teenagesized one. I don’t consider myself overly protective, but in a world of underage drinking, drugs and dodgy party venues, I yearn to keep her close to keep her safe.

Thankfully, she has an amazing group of friends, many from when she was in fact a toddler, and they seem to keep each other safe and on an even keel. Over weekends our home overflows with teenagers from the surrounding suburbs. They drink gallons of ice tea and commandeer the pool, the TV and the music system. And I thought

Resource Editor Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za Alys Suter • studio1@childmag.co.za Samantha Summerfield • studio2@childmag.co.za

Advertising Director Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Taryn Copeman • taryn@childmag.co.za Lisa Waterloo • capetown@childmag.co.za

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

To Subscribe Helen Xavier • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Helen Xavier • helen@childmag.co.za Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

Cape Town’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios, 35 Wesley Street, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 021 465 6093, fax: 021 462 2680, email: capetown@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Cape Town’s Child magazineTM. We welcome

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We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles, and other editorial content, are accurate and balanced, but cannot accept responsibility for loss, damage or inconvenience that may arise from reading them.

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it was just the toddler years that required vast reserves of energy with a good dose of patience.

The upside to parenting a teenager is that I’ve had years to hone my sense of humour.

As cute and entertaining as toddlers may be, it’s teenagers who have the monopoly on funny – Trevor Noah has nothing on them.

Boy, is it great to be the mom of a teenager!

Free requested July 11 – Sept 11

All our magazines are printed on recycled paper.

November 2011

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contents

november 2011

upfront 3

a note from lisa

6 over to you

readers respond

13 mom’s blog

42

Anél Lewis will not succumb to milestone comparisons

42 saving up for a bigger pig

14 reader’s blog

Charles Starling has made up his mind: he is not a hamster man

44 raise media-savvy cyber citizens

21 dad’s blog

Marc de Chazal‘s daughter impressed him when she made the mature call to not drink at a party

25 reader’s blog

David Morris has a fear of birds, but his toddler can’t get enough of them

features ow can you help your children deal h with stress? Glynis Horning looks for the answers

22 positive proof

Joanne Lillie explains positive parenting and what it entails

10 pressure test

Jessica-A’isha Mouneimne looks at pre-eclampsia

Malaria can be life-threatening.

Tamlyn Vincent gives advice on how to prevent it

regulars

teach your children the value of money very early, says Paul Kerton

Christina Castle reminds us of good old-fashioned games that don’t need electronic devices

16 dealing with difference

retirement needs excellent planning.

Ruwaydah Lillah states the facts

30 is your child getting enough?

health

15 upfront with paul

28 looking ahead

children should learn to be responsible citizens in the digital playground. By Marc De Chazal

8 wins

26 fun and games

12 managing malaria

18 manage your child’s stress

Lucy Olden gives advice on how to teach your children to save money

Tamlyn Vincent looks at which vitamins and minerals your child needs at every stage

Vanessa Papas explains what a central auditory processing disorder is

48 resource – gone shopping

a guide to fun, family-friendly markets as well as special Christmas fairs.

Compiled by Lucille Kemp

54 a good read

32 it could happen to your child

56 what’s on in november

recreational drug abuse is on the rise among teens. Dee Koch investigates

70 last laugh

36 when it all falls apart

Fiona Ronquest-Ross suffered from postnatal depression. She shares her story

38 ‘tis the season for giving

not sure what teacher’s gift to

get? Here are some suggestions from Ideas Gifts

new books for the whole family

Sam Wilson is a good loser. And she’s okay with that

classified ads 62 family marketplace 67 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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November 2011

Cape Town

Johannesburg

Durban

shutterstock.com

Kiids Boutique 021 762 8935

Mr Price www.mrprice.co.za

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over to you

on our facebook page in response to the website article “creating family traditions” We all have fond memories of childhood traditions and rituals, things that keep us sane and things that helped build us to be the best we can be with a strong sense of family and belonging.

It is so profound and it makes one consider that simple things are exactly what children need most – and it does build memories to carry us when we’re older. They take us to that “happy place of childhood”, especially when we need something to hold onto.

Norah Papanicolaou in response to the website article “bullying – the parent’s guide” My niece witnessed a violent attack, using a knuckle-duster, on a girl at school by another girl. This bully is now targeting her. These things are not taken lightly. A case has been opened with the police, and the principal has been informed and is taking the necessary steps. Children should not be subjected to violence in schools. Stand together and fight against bullying.

Anonymous

triple joy Your recent article on multiples, “overnight sensation” (Child Magazine, October 2011), brought back such wonderful memories. My triplets, Vicky-May, Travis and Jethro, were born 10 weeks premature in December 1998, weighing between 1,06kg and 1,14kg. They are now teenagers and what a milestone. I often find myself having to look twice and wonder where the years have gone.

It seems like just yesterday we were selling our station wagon for a Kombi to be able to cram in all the prams, gyms and nappy bags. Now that same car is crammed with friends, school bags, tog bags and cricket kits.

I must agree with your article about sticking to routine.

When they were babies we had charts monitoring their feeds, nappy changes and sleeping patterns. This made it so much easier as, with them being so small, each feed had to be monitored. My husband was (and still is) a very hands-on dad, so we shared the chores and this made things so much easier. Even today, with them being almost 13, we still have our routines.

We are currently transferring all our videos to DVD and having such fun watching the old movies. The children are especially amazed at how small they were.

If I had to relive my life, I would ask for triplets again.

They are my absolute joy. Their bond with each other is incredible and every day I am grateful for their love and, as Jethro would say, “their total awesomeness”.

Tracey Middleton

exercise for a good cause My exercise regime involves a high-speed walk around my neighbourhood every weekday. I have been doing this for years. About three years ago, I added another dimension to my walks. I started greeting everyone I passed, usually in my limited Zulu. I receive the most heart-warming responses to my greetings and I am now a passionate ambassador for the Stop Crime, Say Hello campaign (visit sayhello.co.za).

About a month ago, I added a third dimension to my walks. I started taking plastic bags and picking up the litter on my route. When I first started, I was picking up three bags of litter a day. This morning, I collected only half a bag. Recycling what I collect is also on my agenda.

The litter collection has added about seven extra minutes to my exercise regime and about a hundred squats, which can only be good for me.

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I firmly believe in the “broken windows” theory – that poorly maintained areas attract crime while neat and well-maintained areas discourage it. Almost every day I hear people complaining that the government is not doing enough about the crime in our country, but what are we doing? Apart from anything else, it is incredibly satisfying to do something that makes a difference, no matter how small that something may be.

Georgina Steele

I chose to sort out the lounge/dining area first. Within an hour, we had moved two items of furniture, cleared a cupboard, sorted items into three piles, and voilà… I had a huge amount of space. I bought storage baskets and these now keep the children’s games neatly accessible at all times. People who have visited my home since cannot believe that a mom with two children, aged three and nine, and who works from home, can have such a neat house. The children are happy and Dad is thrilled, as he no longer has to listen to our moaning.

Carol Rasmussen

small can be big I read your article on dwarfism, “we all start out small” (Child Magazine, September 2011), and I want to share my story. When I was still in school, I was friends with a dwarf. Roland Styles was very short but other than that, he was the same as all of us. We were all different in various ways and his height was just how he was different. He was very popular and everyone liked him.

He had a special chair to sit on during classes and some of the bigger boys would help him carry it around.

Because of his small hands, he was given more time to write tests and exams. His parents treated him just like any other child and they bought him a little motorbike when all his friends got motorbikes when they turned 16.

I believe the little boy being written about in the article will grow up to be a happy and contented child who is not teased.

Jenny

swimming for life My daughter, Jordyn, started swimming at 10 months and soon became a water baby. The intense passion of her teacher was so evident, and it was an indescribable pleasure to watch my child learning to swim. If it weren’t for her good teacher, we certainly would not have a little girl who loves water so much. Swimming lessons should be a priority on each family’s list.

Leigh Dean

five generations of “awesome” It doesn’t happen every day and it doesn’t happen to everyone. In our family, there are five generations of awesome women. The day my daughter came home from hospital with my second grandchild, we all got together to welcome her. It was at this gathering that we realised that there were five generations of women in one room. I know quite a few people who have never had the chance to meet their grandparents, let alone great grandparents. So, when you have the chance to meet your great-great grandmother, it’s pretty awesome.

Karen Meyer

happy nanny I’m a nanny and I love your magazine. It teaches me so much each month as I work with babies and toddlers.

So, big congratulations to you.

Thabile Mbatha

chuck the clutter Your article on reorganising your home, “declutter!”

(Child Magazine, September 2011), caught my eye and I immediately set up an appointment with a professional organiser. I cannot thank Child Magazine enough for initiating this thought, as it has truly turned my life around.

branded clothing a no-no I wanted to buy my six-year-old son pyjamas but almost every pair was branded with Ben 10, Spider-Man or some kind of wrestling character.

As for girls, it is almost impossible to find clothing that is a) not pink, b) not covered in sequins, hearts or flowers and c) is not branded with Barbie, Bratz or some other inappropriate character. The boutique clothing can be nice, but it is outrageously priced and often not suited for playing in the park. As a result, I dress my two-yearold daughter in her brother’s old clothes, and, when she needs something new, I usually buy her something in the boys’ section. Readers might also be interested to know that in the UK, retailers have been banned from selling inappropriate attire that sexualises children.

Linda van de Vijver Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag and facebook.com/childmag.co.za

write to us Let us know what’s on

You can also post a comment online at

your mind. Send your letters or comments

childmag.co.za

to: marina@childmag. co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve

the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

letters

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wins

giveaways in november

in time for summer Nivea Sun’s new Kids Swim & Play Protection Lotion SPF 50+ for face and body offers maximum protection, and is an easily absorbed, extra water-resistant sunscreen. Another new and handy product to try is the Nivea Sun Kids Trigger Spray SPF 50+ with its easy-to-apply, trigger-spray mechanism. For more info visit nivea.co.za Eight readers can win a Nivea Sun Hamper valued at R530.

Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Nivea CT win”.

for young tummies and taste buds Bokomo introduces a bite-size version of their famous Weet-Bix cereal, Weet-Bix Bites.

They are high in fibre, vitamins B1, B2 and niacin, and low in fat. These tasty treats come filled with real honey, berries or crunchy chocolate balls.

One reader can win a year’s supply of the Weet-Bix Bites range, valued at R2 207; six boxes per month, sent via courier to your home. Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Weet-Bix CT win”.

Le Toy Van Toys encourage creativity and imagination, and are designed with group play in mind. Timber Toys imports these non-toxic wooden toys, which comply with strict international standards, and are safety tested for the ages of three years and older.

For more information, contact Michelle: 071 898 7910, info@timbertoys.co.za, or visit timbertoys.co.za One reader can win a Le Toy Van Budkins Castle (including figurines) valued at R1 000 and another reader will win a Le Toy Van 1st Dreamhouse (including furniture) valued at R1 600. Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Timber Toys CT Win”.

how to enter

congratulations to our September winners

Unless it is otherwise stated, emailed entries go to win@childmag.co.za and

G. McPherson who wins in the Toddler Sense giveaway and Caryn Caronti, Cecile Wilson, Morelle Hamiel, Maggie Diffenthal and Gillian Koeries who each win a pair of Roller Kidz Heel Skates.

postal entries go to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Only one entry per reader is allowed and entries must be received by 30 November 2011.

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November 2011

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

lumber jack and jill

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health

pressure test JESSICA-A’ISHA MOUNEIMNE looks at pre-eclampsia, a condition that poses serious risks for you and your unborn baby.

very pregnant mom knows the nerves and excitement that accompany an antenatal visit. But before you even get a chance to see your little one on the monitor, doctors need to check your blood pressure and the protein content of your urine. High blood pressure disorders are among the most common medical problems in pregnancy, occurring in between five to 10 percent of every 100 pregnancies. According to Cape Town-based gynaecologist, Dr Phillip Zinn, pre-eclampsia is diagnosed when the mother has both elevated blood pressure and protein in the urine. “It arises most commonly in the third trimester of pregnancy, but can also occur as early as 20th week of gestation.”

a cascade of events later in the pregnancy that affect blood pressure and membrane interfaces throughout the mother’s body.”

cause

the risk to mom and baby

While the exact cause is unknown, Zinn says there’s evidence indicating that the placenta is somehow involved.

“The scene is set for possible pre-eclampsia as early as 14 to 16 weeks into a pregnancy. This is when the placenta establishes greater control of its blood supply from the uterus by breaking down some of the muscle tissue in the blood vessels that supply the placenta. This breakdown of muscle tissue in the blood vessels is needed to optimise blood flow to the placenta through a low-pressure environment. For reasons thought to be immunological, this process does not take place efficiently and leads to

Dr Ron White, a Johannesburg-based gynaecologist, explains that in severe cases virtually every organ of the body may be affected. “The major risk involves the brain resulting in convulsions, stroke and blindness. The kidneys are also affected. Renal failure is not uncommon and requires renal dialysis. The liver can haemorrhage causing liver failure. There is a very high risk of death in these cases.” White adds that the baby is at grave risk too. “The vessels of the placenta supplying blood to the baby go into spasm and the baby is starved of oxygen and nutrients, which limits its growth, and means the

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November 2011

baby may die.” This is one of the main reasons for more frequent antenatal visits in the third trimester. The timely delivery of the baby can make the difference between life and death for both mother and child.

symptoms high-risk factors While pre-eclampsia can occur in any pregnancy, there are pre-existing factors that place a pregnant woman at a higher risk, says White. These include a maternal age greater than 40 years; existing high blood pressure, or raised blood pressure occurring early in pregnancy; diabetes or pre-existing kidney disease; various heart diseases and having lost a baby in a previous pregnancy.

Zinn adds that the first pregnancy is far more likely to be affected than subsequent pregnancies.

“However, a pregnancy with a new partner should be regarded as having the same risk as with your previous partner. Pre-eclampsia in the first pregnancy presents a risk for recurrence in a subsequent pregnancy.”

With the only cure for the condition being to end the pregnancy, doctors need to weigh up the options; the risk to mother and baby and the risk of ending the pregnancy with a premature baby, which may require ICU care. Zinn warns, “The clinician is often forced to deliver a very premature baby in order to save the mother’s life and give the baby a chance of survival.”

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Symptoms may include severe headaches and swelling that suddenly gets worse, especially if it includes the face.

The symptoms of acute pre-eclampsia, which can come on very rapidly, include visual disturbances, lower or upper abdominal pain, persistent coughing, shortness of breath and blood in the urine. But Zinn warns that there are often no obvious symptoms until the condition becomes very severe, which can lead to an eclamptic fit.

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health

managing malaria Malaria can be a life-threatening disease. TAMLYN VINCENT

ne bite from a mosquito carrying malaria parasites could put you at risk of contracting this potentially fatal disease. While malaria is more common in tropical and subtropical climates, especially during the rainy season, it is advisable to always be prepared when travelling to a malaria region.

In South Africa, malaria is restricted to parts of KwaZulu-Natal, Mpumalanga and Limpopo.

The first signs of malaria usually appear 10–14 days after one leaves a high-risk area, says Nelspruit GP Dr Frans Theron.

People may get flu-like symptoms with a headache, which can progress to aches and pains, and sometimes abdominal pains, says Theron.

Dr Deena Govender, of the Umhlanga Sports and Travel Clinic, says anyone who develops a fever after visiting a malaria region should assume they have the disease and immediately see a doctor.

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Treatment depends on a number of factors, such as whether it is for an adult or child, what medicine has been taken or the number of malaria parasites in the blood, says Theron. Treatment is therefore individualised, and it is important to see a malaria expert.

If you do have to visit a malaria area, it is advisable to take prophylactics. There are various medicines available, and they need to be prescribed. Mefloquine (Larium) needs to be taken for six weeks after returning from the trip and can have bad side effects, such as depression or convulsions, says Theron. Doxycycline is an antibiotic that, while effective against malaria, should not be taken by pregnant women or children. Theron recommends taking Malarone, which is now available for children, and needs to be taken for just one week after returning. It also has the least recorded side effects. Whichever prophylactic you do take, it is important that you complete the course.

People living in malaria regions may build up a partial immunity over time, but Theron warns that as they can still contract the disease, they should also take prophylactics. There are some that can be taken for a year.

mozzies and minors Children tend to be more at risk of contracting malaria, “because their immune systems

aren’t as developed, making the disease more serious for children”, says Theron.

Govender advises children and pregnant women to avoid malaria areas.

Children weighing 15kg and more can take prophylactics, says Theron. Govender advises parents who plan on giving their children prophylactics to be well informed and aware of the options, and it’s best to visit a travel clinic before going away.

be prepared As anti-malarial medication is not 100 percent effective, it is advisable to take other precautions: • Use a repellent.

• Spray your sleeping area and keep it closed for several hours before going to sleep.

• Use proper screening on your doors and windows.

• Use a mosquito net, which you can also spray with repellent. Keep the net tied up during the day to stop mosquitoes getting in.

• Wear protective clothing.

• Although malarial mosquitoes tend to come out more at dawn and dusk, they can be found in dark places at any time of day, says Theron. Keep your children out of dense vegetation and spray under beds.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

o

offers advice on how to protect your family.

mom’s blog

relative development ANÉL LEWIS gets assurance from a famous late bloomer, and gives up on the milestones comparison.

lbert Einstein only started talking when he was four years old. I picked up this fascinating fact while trawling the web for information on developmental milestones. Erin is heading for nine months, and people are starting to ask the usual questions. Is she crawling?

Has she started saying any words?

Can she use the iPad? Okay, maybe

sleeping contently and showing no sign yet of communicating with hand signals or of crossing her mid-line, and I vowed there and then to never get caught up in the milestone competition.

A few months on, I have to admit that I have been suckered into a few comparisons. I tend to look around at the supermarket, to see if other babies Erin’s age are doing things she isn’t

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Babies are not robots that can be programmed to perform on demand, or according to a milestone chart. not the last one, but sometimes it feels as if we are willing our children to develop too quickly. I remember attending my first baby clinic morning a few weeks after Erin was born. The major achievement of the day was that I had managed to strap her into the car seat without causing serious bodily harm – to either of us. But a mother there was waxing lyrical about her baby’s ability to already roll over and smile. I looked down at my baby,

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yet. And I wonder if I should be doing more to encourage her speaking. But then I remember that babies are not robots that can be programmed to perform on demand, or according to a milestone chart. As Einstein, who was a slow developer, later discovered – it’s all relative.

Read more of Anél Lewis’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za

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blog

i’ll take two, thank you When CHARLES STARLING gives in to the whims of his inner

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a pet shop) “We’re just going to have a look, my love.”

Ten-year-old boy stuck inside father’s body: “Wow. Cool pet shop. Look, rabbits!” That is how we ended up in front of the cages where hamsters were on sale for just R10; I expected R20. So, being the adult that I am, I of course said: “Let’s take two. A male and a female. Then they can mate.”

I should probably have been concerned that the shop assistant smelled of booze. But, drunk or not, he seemed to know more than I did about sexing hamsters. He dropped two into a box and then conned me into buying sawdust, food, water dispensers, food bowls, and little orange MSG hamster snacks (which looked surprisingly tasty but, truth be told, tasted like cardboard).

And that was that – deal done. We skipped the movie, we skipped the

bowling and instead headed home with the hamsters and their MSG snacks. But then my daughter said, “This one looks pregnant dad.” I patronizingly told her that all hamsters are fat.

Until the next morning when we found that the “fat” two-week-old “baby” hamster was the proud mother of five. My daughter was very excited and immediately phoned her mom with the good news.

But, things were getting worse. Less than 48 hours after leaving the pet shop, the “father” had six babies. In just two days we had gone from two to 13 hamsters.

When my wife returned, she took 10 of them back to the pet shop. One was experimentally fed to our pet snake, while another escaped, never to be seen again.

This left one hamster. Then, the following day, it escaped from the cage and was caught – first by the cat and then by the dog. We tried to save the comatose rodent

by keeping it in a shoebox close to the wall heater. But, it did not survive the night.

Last Wednesday I went to buy baby mice for the snake to eat. They didn’t have any, and rather than waste the trip I came home with a smallish white rat. It was too big for the snake to eat, so we put it into the hamsters’ cage.

Never give any responsibility, or a full wallet, to a 42-year-old man with a 10-year-old boy trapped inside his body.

You never know what he may bring home next.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

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photographS: shutterstock.com

t

hings went horribly wrong. With my wife and two of my children away over Easter, I had planned to spend the time with my 10-year-old daughter doing some father-daughter activities. It was en route to one of these, a movie and tenpin bowling, that it happened.

Sharp-eyed daughter: “Look dad, there’s a pet shop.”

Responsible father: (no comment) Doe-eyed daughter: “Aww, please can I get a hamster?”

Responsible father: “No, my love” (your mom will kill us).

Ten-year-old boy stuck inside a father’s body: “Hey, that could be cool.

No, bad idea. Hey, that could be cool.

No, bad idea.”

Shocked daughter: “Thanks dad, I didn’t think you would stop.”

Responsible father: (slightly surprised to actually find himself parked outside

child, and his daughter, he gets more than he bargained for.

upfront with paul

money’s too tight to mention Teach your children the value of money as soon as they can count, advises PAUL KERTON. Saskia, Paul and Sabina

PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

i

n austere times, as Greece, Spain and the entire eurozone hover on the brink of fiscal disaster, money matters are something children neither know nor care about.

Look at it from a child’s point of view. There are shops wherever they go and there is always something in those shops that they want. In fact, they want everything because they like accumulating possessions and stuff, because things are nice to have and their personal treasures define who they are.

Mommy and Daddy get money from a hole in the wall – how cool is that? They punch in a number and money comes out.

Fabulous. Then they buy the child the stuff

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they want (if they are good, or lucky). And if the grandparents are around, they are likely to be very lucky indeed.

What children don’t understand is that a) we have to work hard to get the money, b) there is a limit to how much money there is, and c) they can’t get stuff they want every time they go near a shop, no matter how much they protest.

If an appliance supplement or a toy catalogue drops out of a newspaper at the weekend, they can point to a million things they want. The interesting thing is; because they have no concept of value or worth, the price is immaterial. They are governed more by instant gratification – it’s a great colour, it makes an annoying

noise, it’s big, it’s messy, it makes them look cool, it irritates the parents, it smells terrible. But they could choose a toy worth R20 or something that is R250, because the price is completely irrelevant; it’s the experience that counts. I was staggered when I took Sabina to a massive toy shop. She browsed for hours checking out everything. I was prepared to spend R180 on some dodgy-looking plastic pet family, but no, what she really wanted were those luminescent wristbands that cost R5 each. I bought four of those and she was unbelievably happy.

To instil the necessary value of money, we give them pocket money as soon as they can count. Not a lot, but enough for

them to know they have a cash stash and to try and work out the economics of their purchase it’s also to learn that money is precious and you can’t leave it lying about.

I love it when Sabina asks to go into the garage shop on her own to get an ice cream. “Get the right change and get a slip,” I say, and she’s off like a demented greyhound, waving a R20 note. She always comes back beaming with independence, bearing the goods and the right change (she asks for it in a plastic coin bag). She then works out how much she has left.

This is never very much, but it’s much more than Greece has at the moment.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.

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dealing with difference

broken

telephone A child with a central auditory processing disorder can hear, but can’t process what is being heard. VANESSA PAPAS explores this rare but manageable disorder. confused with vowels, which makes doing homework a nightmare as it takes so long and he gets angry, frustrated and tired from the ongoing battle of deciphering every word.

We have developed our own coping mechanisms when we communicate with each other. I have learnt to talk slower and constantly ask him if he understands what I’m saying.

I make every effort to reduce background noise when he’s doing homework. This includes turning down the TV, moving away from the dishwasher that’s running and not having a discussion with him in the car when the radio is on.”

Pietermaritzburg-based Debbie Risk’s six-year-old daughter Katie also suffers from a CAPD. At first, her teachers thought she had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) but, after being assessed by a professional, she was diagnosed with multiple sensory integration disorder (which is a dysfunction in all seven senses).

“One of my most difficult challenges at first was having to explain Katie’s condition to other parents. She can come across as rude or disinterested when in fact she has ‘zoned out’ or is very distracted by sounds, smells or sights and is trying to cope with all the sensory input she cannot process. Since her diagnosis, we have made changes at home and are now far more aware of noises that might be distracting her. Because I understand her needs now, and her need for her own space, I don’t experience a sense of personal rejection, which is something I felt before her diagnosis.

We have even made a ‘special place’ in a section of her room where she can go with her beloved cats when she has to ‘regroup’ and have some quiet time.” Both Lianne’s son and Katie are undergoing extensive occupational and speech therapy and their conditions continue to improve.

Allan continues to say that if your child lacks listening behaviour and auditory attention, it is vital that a peripheral hearing assessment is conducted first to exclude hearing loss. If hearing is not the problem, your child should be

We have developed our own coping mechanisms when we communicate with each other. I have learnt to talk slower and constantly ask him if he understands what I’m saying.

assessed by an audiologist and, based on the findings, remediation and management strategies will be discussed.

According to Gauteng audiologist Tammy Henen, treatment for a CAPD is age and severity dependent.

“The auditory system only fully matures around 12 years of age so one can’t really establish the degree of a CAPD until then. While a CAPD can be improved with treatment – which often involves a speech therapist, audiologist, educational psychologist, teachers, doctors and parents – one must remember that a CAPD is a disorder and not a disease. Each individual may have co-morbid issues (often individuals with a CAPD may have attention deficit disorder or other influencing factors). Some children with a CAPD experience a total improvement of their difficulties or seem to ‘grow out’ of their disorders, while others may be left with some residual degree of deficit forever.

However, with appropriate management, all children can become active participants in their own listening, learning and communication environments.”

signs your child could have a CAPD • B ehaves as though there is a hearing loss even if a hearing assessment has indicated normal hearing thresholds.

• Has difficulty learning songs and nursery rhymes.

• Battles to read, write and spell.

• Mishears words.

• Doesn’t participate in class discussions.

• Cannot tolerate noisy rooms or places.

• Has trouble understanding stories read aloud.

• Has trouble with maths word problems.

strategies to help a child with a CAPD • R educe background noise at home and school.

• Keep eye contact with your child while speaking to them.

• Use simple, expressive sentences.

• Speak at a slightly slower rate and at a mildly increased volume.

• Provide your child with a quiet study place.

• Provide additional aids for study, like an assignment pad or a tape recorder.

• Build your child’s self-esteem.

good to know • T hree to five percent of school-aged children are affected by a CAPD. • An audiologist is the only person who can correctly diagnose if your child has a CAPD. • Auditory deficits need to be identified and managed early to prevent speech and language delays and academic problems.

• A CAPD is often confused with other disorders like autism, ADHD and even depression.

• The causes of a CAPD are unknown, but evidence suggests links to head trauma, lead poisoning and chronic ear infections.

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for more information South African Speech-Language-Hearing Association 0861 113 297, info@saslha.co.za or visit saslha.co.za South African Association of Audiologists 082 727 5977 or visit audiologysa.co.za

magazine cape town

ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / SAMANTHA SUMMERFIELD

s your child distracted by background noise? Are you constantly met with a “huh?” when you ask them a question, even though they’re not hard of hearing?

Do they battle to read, spell and write? If so, your child could have a central auditory processing disorder (CAPD).

Often confused with other learning disabilities, a child with a CAPD can’t process the information they hear in the same way as others because their ears and brain don’t communicate effectively with each other.

“Central Auditory Processing (CAP) is best described as ‘how the ear talks to the brain and what the brain does with it’. The brain must accurately decode what the ear tells it in order for the brain to attach meaning to the sound coming in. When a child’s CAP skills are weak, they may experience ‘auditory overload’, making communication and learning a challenge. This impacts on their listening, speaking, reading, writing and, in turn, their ‘doing’. It can also affect a child’s confidence as they can’t function effectively in the classroom and socially,” says Heidi Allan, a Durban-based audiologist and speech therapist. “To learn language one needs to be able to listen to and separate important speech from all the other noises of daily living,” explains Allan.

Cape Town mom Lianne Kelly’s 10-year-old son was recently diagnosed with a CAPD. “I have always known there was something wrong but doctors couldn’t conclusively diagnose the problem,” says Lianne. “He battled to hear even though tests confirmed his hearing was perfect. His vocabulary was not as extensive as his peers and his language, spelling and reading were very poor. Even after extensive remedial work, there was no real improvement. Earlier this year, an audiologist at his school suggested I take him for a CAPD test, which revealed he had a central processing disorder.”

Lianne says her biggest challenge is making her son understand that he has to work so much harder than his peers just to accomplish the same task. “He gets very

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manage your child’s stress Are you stimulating your children so that they will succeed in life, or stressing them out? By GLYNIS HORNING

stress alert If your child shows these signs, encourage them to talk about possible worries. If they won’t open up, talk to their teachers or a professional counsellor – don’t ignore them.

• Mood swings • Tiredness • Tearfulness • Clinginess • Withdrawal • Anxiety • Irritability • Aggression • Bad behaviour • Loss of interest • Drop in marks • Changes in sleeping patterns • Changes in appetite • Regression (bed-wetting, thumb-sucking) • New habits (hair-twirling, leg-bouncing) • Stomachache

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She responded by enrolling her daughter in a stress management course. “It was amazing the difference it made just learning to breathe deeply and reconnect with herself when she felt under pressure; to visualise a stressful situation away in a bubble.” The girl’s sleep, hair and eating problems subsided, and she made the transition to her new school smoothly. “She’s been accepted, made friends, and received a glowing term report,” says Tracy. “I just wish I’d looked into the whole stress question earlier.”

Few parents do. Most of us seek guidance only once there’s a problem, reports Michelle Schoon, who runs Stress Free Kids SA in Cape Town. “And there are so many sources (of stress) today.”

parents hope to prove what good parents they are.” We grow anxious about our children’s performance, nagging and using fear of failure to motivate, instead of allowing them to learn from mistakes and showing them how to deal with these as positive growth experiences. This breeds anxiety, anger and resentment in children – they can fear being rejected if they don’t live up to our expectations, or just lose interest and refuse to compete. Overly involved parenting and micromanaging communicates a sense of inadequacy to a child, says Durban child and educational psychologist Dr Caron Bustin. “It encourages dependency and the child doesn’t learn to take ownership of his or her own pursuits.” The bottom line is that we live in a highly

The most common reason children give for worrying is their parents – arguing, leaving home or complaining about money problems. sources of stress Research suggests that certain children may be naturally more susceptible to stress through an inherited high anxiety trait in their personality, but even for them much depends on how they’re raised to respond to pressure in life. Ironically, parents can exert considerable pressure themselve if they’re anxious, distant or over-demanding, or expose their children to problems outside their control.

“Today the most common reason primary school children give for worrying is their parents – arguing, leaving home, or complaining about money troubles,” says Schoon.

Their second biggest source of worry is bullying. Marilu Murray, a trauma counsellor with the Teddy Bear Clinic for abused children in Johannesburg, reports that bullying is on the rise, with children increasingly using online social networks because they allow anonymity. Childline receives numerous calls about bullying, says Joan van Niekerk, the organisation’s advocacy and training manager. Most are from girls, who reach out more readily for help than boys. Tracy’s daughter experienced bullying when other girls ignored her, giggled when she walked by or spread rumours about her.

As children approach their teens, however, pressure comes increasingly from inside themselves as they strive to fit in socially and advance academically. Parents make this worse when they live out their own fears or live their fantasies through their children by piling on extramurals and pushing them to succeed. “Most parents just want their children to have opportunities they themselves didn’t have,” says Pretoria counselling psychologist Elise Fourie.

“But in some cases, I think narcissism plays a role, and

competitive society, she concludes. “This generation is more over-scheduled than any other, and the effect of raised levels of stress hormones can be considerable.”

effects of stress Stress triggers the body to release adrenalin and cortisone as part of its fight-or-flight survival mechanism. But when the stress continues and becomes chronic, constantly raised levels of these hormones can lower immunity. They can cause headaches and digestive disorders, asthma and allergies, and have been linked to heart problems and certain cancers.

Equally, worrying are the psychological costs of stress. It can cause depression, even in primary school children, and lead to an escape in substance abuse, promiscuity, breakdowns and childhood suicide. Nearly one in 10 deaths of young South Africans are the result of suicide, and one in three patients hospitalised after attempting suicide are in their teens or younger, says Durban-based world suicide expert Lourens Schlebusch, author of Mind Shift: Stress Management and Your Health (University Press).

“Children don’t have the same tools for regulating stress as adults and experience burnout and exhaustion when it’s prolonged,” says Bustin. Those who are over-scheduled are constantly under the spotlight, expected to perform and compared to other children. Chronic stress has been linked to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and in the case of extreme stress, such as from lasting separation and loss, emotional, physical or sexual abuse, or witnessing violence (all too prevalent in South Africa magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterstock.com

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hen Cape Town businesswoman and single mom Tracy, 35, announced that she was moving her daughter from a small community school to a larger school, she began noticing her daughter “wasn’t her usual self”.

The effervescent 11-year-old wasn’t sleeping well, and began comfort eating, then experiencing thinning hair.

“She kept scratching her head, as though things were literally getting under her skin.” Tracy recognised the signs of stress. “It seemed crazy for a child so young,” she says.

But like most children today, her daughter was dealing with a demanding school curriculum, exam-style assessments unlike any we faced at that age, and extramurals that she loved but that filled most afternoons. “A couple of girls were also bullying her, and as a working parent, I wasn’t as available for her as I’d have liked,” Tracy adds. “With all that, the prospect of moving school seemed too much.”

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today), studies indicate the brain itself can be affected.

Researchers at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital in the US, for example, found children aged seven to 13 with post-traumatic stress disorder and high levels of cortisol showed a decrease in the size of their hippocampus, the part of the brain used for memory processing and emotion.

helping them cope It’s essential for today’s parents to be aware of the impact of stress, and recognise the signs in our children, so that we can take action early (see “stress alert”). We especially need to watch our motives and ourselves, and rein ourselves in if we start going too far. “Children need to be stimulated and be given skills so they can develop and find self-confidence and fulfilment in life, but we do more harm than good when we push them too hard to do too much,” says Cape Town clinical psychologist Thabile Zondi-Rees. Children need time with their family, and time playing with friends. “Play is their natural way of de-stressing, working through past experiences and planning future ones,” says Bustin. But more than anything, children need time for themselves. This is how they connect with their feelings, find perspective and develop their imagination and taste. “When you see your child ‘doing nothing’, whether she’s sitting on the front steps, seeming to stare into space, or re-reading a comic book for the hundredth time, let her be,” says US psychologist David Elkind, author of The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon (Perseus). “She’s just taking a little time out of her busy life to have a childhood.”

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We also need to be role models for our children by balancing work, exercise, healthy eating and relaxation in our own lives, and participating happily, not obsessively, says Fourie. We need to help them select a realistic number of activities for themselves and set realistic goals.

One physical and one creative extramural is a healthy mix, and they should be things your child truly enjoys and can succeed at. Encourage them to commit to these so they learn that effort brings fulfilment, says Fourie. But if they try their best and don’t enjoy it, allow them to quit. “Learning to recognise that something isn’t working for you, and to say no, is also a valuable life lesson.”

Finally, coach them in some simple coping mechanisms for when they’re stressed – deep breathing, visualization or going for a run.

stress triggers Some children thrive on a busy schedule but others can break under it. It depends on their personality, motivation and stage of development. Watch these common stress points: Preschoolers: separating from parents; extramurals that expose them to competition before they’re ready Primary schoolers: unstructured classrooms; unclear or unrealistic expectations; fear of failure; first play dates and first sleepovers High schoolers: school work; peer pressure and bullying All ages: monitor children’s exposure to violence on TV and to adult discussions that could cause worry (about crime or money problems). Discuss what they see and hear to help them understand, and offer reassurance. Most importantly, make time to be with them each day so they know you are interested and available. Being able to express their feelings, exercising regularly (to release feel-good hormones) and eating nutritiously are all solid stress busters.

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dad’s blog

the currency of cool MARC DE CHAZAL’s daughter makes her

ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / SAMANTHA SUMMERFIELD

own judgment call on teenagers drinking alcohol.

remember my teenage years very well. I managed to get into over-18 clubs when I was nowhere near 18.

My parents were either unaware of the questionable things I got up to or they tolerated them because I was just doing what other teenage boys got up to in the eighties: stuff like underage drinking.

Fast forward to the present. There are more drugs on the scene, for sure, but the timeless vices of booze and cigarettes remain the currency of cool.

And, I now have a teenage daughter of my own. Can you spell “paranoid”?

She recently went to an under-18 party (in other words, there was no alcohol on sale), in a rented hall adjacent to a prestigious independent boys’ school. Nothing out of the ordinary there. I dropped her off at her friend’s home early in the evening and our arrangement was that I would pick her

up at 10:30pm outside the party venue (that means, do not park opposite the place and strike up random conversations with young people). Then the arrangement changed. I received an sms at 8:30pm asking me to fetch her because the party was lame, which I promptly did (obeying the parking rule). She didn’t sound frantic, but the alarm bells were gently ringing. Thankfully, she wasn’t in danger. Instead, she had made a mature judgment call. The “lame” part was that there were lots of intoxicated teenagers there and she didn’t feel like hanging around mates who were behaving badly.

There is no way to ensure your teenager will always be level-headed, but you can be there for them. You can listen. You can pay attention. You can leave your phone on. And don’t let on how paranoid you are.

There is no way to ensure your teenager will always be levelheaded, but you can be there for them.

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Read more of Marc de Chazal’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za

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positive proof JOANNE LILLIE finds out about “positive parenting”, an approach that aims to guide children to becoming happy, confident and accountable young people.

president of the South African Society for Clinical Psychology.

It’s all about creating an environment in which children can grow and thrive through the challenges of the early years; it’s how we stimulate, challenge and discipline them.

discipline the positive way Part of a positive approach is focusing on what your child is doing right and offering plenty of praise and reward. Discipline is thus non-violent and non-punitive.

Positive parenting requires positive parents – parents who focus on their strengths, adopt an optimistic approach and endeavour to build talent. take and share responsibility for achieving happiness not only for their children, but for themselves and the family.

This is done by treating your child with love and respect and giving her responsibility for the consequences of good and bad behaviour. Positive parenting techniques are appropriate for all children and personality types, because all children crave approval. Followers of positive parenting report greater contentment for themselves and greater confidence for their children.

parenting by example Positive parenting requires positive parents, as children learn best by observing and copying us. Parents who focus on their strengths, have an optimistic attitude and look for opportunities to build confidence and talent are most likely to succeed.

“It is impossible to adopt a positive parenting approach outside of the context of a positive family,” says Dr Lingum Pillay, Durban-based clinical psychologist and

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But this doesn’t mean you overlook bad behaviour. “Parents tend to think they must ignore inappropriate behaviour and be completely permissive, but the goal is to maintain a high standard of accountability and be kind and respectful at the same time,” says Johannesburg child psychologist and play therapist Karin Meyer. Agreeing on rules together, as well as the consequences for breaking them, works well.

For positive parenting to succeed, you need to have a good relationship with your child and open channels of communication. The approach works with children’s natural desire to please their parents; they want our approval.

“Learn about and understand your children, their strengths and weaknesses, their needs, wants and desires, and their drivers.

Learn to talk and listen attentively to them. This is empowering you to be a positive parent,” says Pillay.

You also need to look at the child as a whole: does he get enough sleep; does

he eat enough healthy food; is there a routine in the house? The smaller the child, the clearer and fewer instructions there should be.

If your child is in the stage of throwing tantrums, try and act proactively. “If you’re going to the supermarket, prevent an outburst by going for a shorter time, and making sure she is not hungry or tired. A young child cannot delay gratification or think through conflicts well, so you need to act to remove frustration as much as possible,” says Meyer.

growing happiness Amanda Marais, family law attorney and mom to Danie, eight, and Jaco, five, is setting the ground rules for her boys now.

“Parenting is so much easier when I work with them as a team instead of in opposition.

For example, when fighting breaks out I calmly ask them to each go to their room to think about what they are doing and come back later to discuss their feelings. I never shout or chase them away or punish them – I simply tell them if I don’t like something they are doing and explain why. I talk in a

way they understand, on their level, face to face, and this generates understanding and mutual respect,” she says.

Establishing positive patterns now means Amanda, who is a single mom, will be better able to deal with confrontations as the boys become teenagers. “My children are confident and positive individuals, and the greatest benefit I see is that they can come to me and talk about absolutely anything. They are very open to thoughtful discussion; they feel they are being heard, and they have a say in situations that affect them.”

One of the concerns some parents have is that their children might feel so confident they no longer respect parental authority. Rather, the shift is from parental authority to parental responsibility, says Dr Pillay. “Critical to this is making sure that boundaries are set early and that discipline is carried out in the context of continuous respect and love. Be aware of the words you use, your tone, your nonverbal expressions and gestures. This goes a long way in cementing a positive parenting style,” he says.

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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ou catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, this is the underlying message of positive parenting.

The idea is that an encouraging and democratic – rather than autocratic – approach elicits the best response.

Positive psychology is the scientific study of the strengths that enable people and communities to thrive – essentially it’s the psychology of making people happier. The focus is on promoting mental health, rather than treating mental illness.

Applied to parenting, it means parents

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hand in hand This kind of involvement is the key to positive parenting for Urvashi Maganlal, business consultant and mom to Meera aged 11 and Misha, seven. “I try to take a more inclusive approach rather than one of ‘because I said so’. Explaining is at the core of positive parenting and my children find my guidance easier to accept when they understand the reasons for it.”

This may be a longer and more difficult way of parenting than simply dictating, but the benefits are that children take time to think about things, and you don’t find yourself in an “us versus them” situation, says Urvashi. “The children see that we are all affected, and they are involved in the process of agreeing on rules and the consequences of breaking them. As a parent I consciously strive to be more patient and rational, rather than frustrated and angry,” she says. But, be careful, parents often mistake heaping praise for being a positive parent. “Strive for a realistic balance by being consistent, and remember your child is a child – don’t give her too much responsibility (control), as this amounts to unintentionally abdicating your parental responsibility,” warns Pillay.

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quick guide to parenting more positively Apply these principles to parenting, suggests child psychologist and play therapist Karin Meyer: day to day • Provide healthy meals, enough rest and a stable routine.

• Play with your child – find something you both enjoy and engage with him in his world.

• Don’t ask open-ended questions (what do you want for breakfast?), rather let your child choose between oats and toast.

• Praise, don’t punish. building self-esteem • Get to know your child and allow him to get to know himself too.

• Make self-statements together: this way you are affirming your child, showing him he matters.

Ask about the things he likes and doesn’t like and make a board where your child draws these things (or cuts out pictures if

he is very small): This is me – things I like. This is not me – things I do not like.

• Use I-messages: rather than saying “you are a brilliant artist”, say “I like your picture. I think it is brilliant”.

• Create experiences of mastery for your child, such as completing a puzzle or learning something new. discipline • Give easy-to-follow instructions.

• Explain and discuss boundaries.

• Teach right from wrong by example; children learn by observing.

• Teach your child that anger is okay, and how to deal with it appropriately.

• Offer your child alternatives and choices.

• Set limits to keep your child safe.

• Have regular family meetings to clear the air and discuss solutions for specific behaviour.

• Balance your child’s developmental needs with common sense.

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blog

fighting phobias DAVID MORRIS bravely puts aside his fear of all things feathered to take his daughter to the farmyard.

ILLUSTRATIONs: mariette barkhuizen / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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rowing up, everyone has their fears with the usual suspects perhaps being spiders, heights and the dark. Mine? Well, I’m embarrassed to admit it (and very few people know) but it happens to be birds. There’s just something about the feathers and all the flapping that makes my skin crawl.

One of my clearer childhood memories – I must have been about six or seven – is of a family visit to the bird park. To cut the long story short, my Woody Woodpecker experience ended with an entire packet of birdseed in the bin and me running to my father in tears.

He caught the whole incident on camera, but because of all the shaking from laughter, the images could have been mistaken for an earthquake scene.

Fast forward 24 years and I now have a child of my own, with another one on the way, and – surprise, surprise – I

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am stuck with the same phobia. Unlike the fizzy drink Mello Yello, these things don’t just go away. Imagine then how horrified I was to learn that our next family outing would be to a petting zoo where hens, ducks and every other feathery fiend can waddle free? I knew this day would come eventually but that’s not to say I hadn’t tried to avoid it.

My 19-month-old daughter’s fascination with birds didn’t help either. In fact, one of the first words she picked up was the dreaded “bird”, as she pointed to the sky.

But there comes a time in every father’s life where you have to make sacrifices, and this was one of them.

To make matters worse, my wife had taken ill, which meant my moral support went flying out of the window (no pun intended). I had to tackle the bird life with my daughter, alone.

When we arrived, Jade was asleep in the car. Was this my chance to turn around and tell my wife the park was closed? No, that would have been unfair on my little girl and chances are my detective of a wife would know I was lying.

As we entered Higgledy Piggledy farm, the mother of all hens immediately greeted me. Like a flash my daughter was away to explore – a good excuse to run after her when I was in fact running away from Chicken Licken. My plan of attack was to distract Jade by showing her the non-beaked animals, such as the pigs and goats. But that was soon foiled when she saw other children feeding Mother Goose and the gang.

“Yum, yum,” said Jade, which meant she wanted to have a go at feeding them too. Hesitantly, I bought her a cup of seeds. That was my first mistake.

The second was letting her pour all of

it on the floor. But the third was my initial regret about coming to Higgledy Piggledy farm. You see, even with my body frozen with fright after Jade and I were swamped with every avian creature you can think of, even after my mind leapt back 24 years to that bird park with my father, the look of happiness on my daughter’s face and her laughter made it all worthwhile.

Has my fear of birds been cured?

Definitely not. Will I go back to Higgledy Piggledy farm again with my daughter?

You better believe it.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

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straight up

fun and In today’s techno world where most games involve a console or a computer screen, CHRISTINA CASTLE hauls out the old favourites to keep her family entertained.

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swear our game of Snakes and Ladders is possessed. Nobody has ever won a game of this particular Snakes and Ladders. Actually, one person has – once, it was me but I cheated. Not my finest moment, but after three-and-ahalf hours of climbing up and slithering down with no result, I simply had to put an end to it.

Snakes and Ladders lives in a chest of drawers in our lounge with a multitude of games the boys have received as presents over the years or inherited from family.

Some have never even been opened and still sit neatly wrapped in a box covered with Cellophane. Others have been test

times we know the answer to practically every question.

Our next favourite has to be Monopoly.

While I am still a Monopoly purist and prefer the original London version, the boys have adapted to the new World Edition with great ease. I mean, who doesn’t get used to credit card convenience? The game still takes an entire afternoon to complete and nothing quite beats the thrill of making it along Millionaire’s Row to GO without landing on Mayfair, Park Lane or today’s city equivalent – Riva (had to Google that one), Montreal and even Cape Town. “Two hundred dollars please, Mr Bank.” Sorry, it’s now two million. You’ve got to love inflation.

driven once or twice, but the old favourites have been downright abused and have started to show their age.

Take for example our South African issue of Trivial Pursuit. It’s a collector’s item and I’m convinced it’s going to be worth a lot of money one day. In the meantime, it’s keeping us all entertained as we rattle off dated questions with equally dated answers. I mean, how long ago did we lose the Transvaal and USSR? What’s more, it has been played so many

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Memory is not my favourite anymore, for obvious reasons. Jenga is guaranteed to be very noisy, especially on a Saturday afternoon when you’re trying to grab a snooze. Cluedo is criminally cryptic and appeals to the detective in all of us – was it Miss Scarlet in the library with the candlestick? Scrabble is brilliant when we don’t follow the rules and we’re allowed to make up words and spell phonetically.

But the game that wins hands down in our family, which requires no board, magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

But the game that wins hands down in our family, that requires no board, dice or pieces, is Charades. This is where we get to showcase our raw talent.

dice or pieces, is Charades. This is where we get to showcase our raw talent. I have watched an eight-year-old perform the entire story of David and Goliath, a 68-year-old pretend he was Spiderman and a 14-year-old stumble through the Encyclopaedia Britannica. These are the moments that stick with you forever.

“Oh, such a wholesome little family they

are,” I hear you say. “They probably eat carrots, nuts and celery while playing their games together.”

What I haven’t mentioned is another game I like to play. It’s a personal favourite of mine when I find the boys playing Xbox on a beautiful day. It’s called Murder in Broad Daylight and usually includes Mrs Castle in the TV room with a chain saw.

find more games • T he Treasury of Family Games by Jim Glenn and Carey Denton (Reader’s Digest) • Games Children Play by Kim Brooking Payne (Hawthorn Press) • Instant Games for Children: 101 Fun-filled Children’s Games by Susan L. Lingo (Barnabas) • Great Games for Young Children by Rae Pica (Gryphon House) • Games to Play with Toddlers (Gryphon House) Also visit gameskidsplay.net for the rules of popular games.

games unwired Do you remember, as a child, playing with very little but your imagination and possibly a skipping rope? Encourage your child to also play outdoors by rediscovering the retro-cool games we enjoyed as children.

• Hide and seek Mix it up by playing sardines, where one person hides and everyone else seeks. When you find the person hiding, join them in their hiding spot.

• Capture the flag Ideal with a larger group, split into two teams. The object is to run into enemy territory and capture their flag (e.g. a T-shirt). Being tagged sends you to jail, but your team members can get you out.

• Tag There are many variations one can play. If you have a swimming pool, Marco Polo is an old favourite. In shadow tag you touch each other’s feet instead of tagging their body. Another version of tag is kick the can, when the “it” person tries to tag people, who then go into a captured zone. If one of the free players manages to kick the can, the captured players are freed.

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how to

looking ahead Poor planning could tarnish your golden years of retirement. RUWAYDAH LILLAH offers

people into the Mooi Hawens Retirement Home in Amanzimtoti, KwaZulu-Natal.

Living in your own home and hiring help is an option, but the maintenance of the home and garden will still remain your burden, which you may not be able to afford.

“Moving in with the children is another option, but their lifestyles are totally different from yours. You’ll be left alone at home during the day, talking to the cat, dog and the pigeons. When the children come home tired at night, they may want quiet time but socially starved Granny wants to catch up. You’ll feel that you are in the way,” says Potgieter.

If you want to have a peaceful living arrangement in old age, you have to make that firm decision now. seeking to be more informed about the myriad of retirement options on the market today, not only for their parents but also for themselves,” says Dealtry.

This is a good start, as some retirement places have a 20-year waiting list.

Such is the demand for retirement homes that new developments are springing up everywhere says Marius Brandow, a junior project manager for the Central Development Property Group. Many pensioners are opting for retirement villages. “This does not just make financial sense, but they’re also surrounded by their peers with access to state-of-the-art medical facilities and they know they will not become someone else’s burden when they can’t do things for themselves anymore,” says Brandow.

difficult decisions “If you want to have a peaceful living arrangement in old age, you have to make that firm decision now,” says Elize Potgieter, a social worker who helps place and settle

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buying options If you have some money saved, you could invest in a retirement home. But then you have to understand exactly what you are committing yourself to when you sign the documents. Always ask for the latest balance sheet and other relevant information. If you are in the dark, get legal advice. The options for buying are: Sectional title You own the unit, registration is done through the Deeds Office by a conveyancer and you may have to pay transfer duty. This could be a good investment that you could leave as an inheritance to your children.

Share Block Scheme You become a shareholder in a company that owns the retirement estate, which entitles you to occupy a cottage or apartment. It’s much cheaper than a sectional title. However, if the company experiences financial difficulty and is liquidated, you may be liable for outstanding debt and you may lose your home.

R12 000

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the amount an average 30-year-old South African earns a month. If they don’t save 15 percent of their income, they won’t have enough to live on when they reach 70

percentage of pensioners who have to work to supplement their income

percentage of pensioners who don’t have enough money to live on

November 2011

Life Rights or Occupation Rights This falls under the Housing Development Scheme for Retired Persons Act 65 of 1988. No legal costs are involved. You are entitled to occupy a particular apartment for the rest of your life, but this ownership ends when you pass on. You can’t leave it to family as an inheritance. However, when the property gets sold, you do get a share of it, which will be paid to your estate.

saving for your nest egg The sad reality is that 90 percent of South Africans don’t have enough money saved for retirement. This means that many can’t afford the lifestyle they were accustomed to while they were working and most have to live off the state, family and friends or charity, says Johannesburg-based Liberty Life financial advisor Joe Chitanda.

“The sooner you start saving, the sooner you can earn compound interest (interest on your interest), which means a lot more money for a comfortable retirement.”

He says company/employer pension products changed from “defined benefit” (which shows exactly how much they’ll have at retirement) to “defined contribution” (which shows exactly how much they’ve contributed). It is up to the employee to make sure you contribute enough. Meet with a financial advisor who can do the necessary projections and tailor a retirement plan specifically for you. Work pension provident contributions are never enough, so also start a Retirement Annuity (RA), advises Chitanda. The money you contribute to the policy is invested and the return you make isn’t taxed in the fund. This policy grows faster than an investment or unit trust.

10 tips for planning for your (or your parents’) retirement

1 Get a full physical to determine your overall health and possible future problems.

2 Let a financial advisor calculate how much you’ll need to retire comfortably.

Take into consideration inflation as well as unforeseen medical costs.

3 If your parents are of retirement age, regular medical check-ups are important.

Ensure they are covered by a medical aid, even if it’s a basic hospital plan to ensure they get proper medical care when it’s needed.

4 Don’t put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to investing money.

Spread out your investments as much as possible.

5 Draw up a will with clear instructions on who gets what when you die. Anyone with a sizeable estate should have a will, says Chitanda. Advise an elderly parent to have a will and explain why it’s important.

6 Decide when and where you want to retire and also help your parents make an informed decision.

7 Research what type of retirement accommodation is available in your preferred area. Look at the type of facilities these institutions offer.

8 Make sure that the accommodation you choose either for yourself or your parents has a frail care facility, panic buttons in the rooms and 24-hour medical assistance.

9 Don’t just dump your parent there. Ease them into the new environment, visit regularly, take them on outings and holidays and make sure they know you’re just a phone call away.

10 Compile your bucket list of things you always wanted to do before you die.

Encourage your parent to get a new lease on life and live the remainder of it the way they had always dreamed.

useful contacts: Age-in-Action SA Council for the Aged: 021 426 4249, 011 333 0501, 031 309 2012 or visit age-in-action.co.za Senior Service A comprehensive directory of retirement facilities countrywide.

Visit seniorservice.co.za

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterstock.com

w

atching my grandmother get old, forgetful, frail and ultimately helpless was a terrifying experience that made me wish I never get old. But it’s only now that I’m much older, and seeing my dad through retirement, that I realise just how frightening old age must be for them; more so if they aren’t financially prepared for it.

Most of us don’t plan sufficiently for our twilight years. But the good news is that more people are enquiring earlier, between the age of 45 and 50, about retirement accommodation, says Dealtry Pickford, a trustee of the St Leger Retirement Hotel in Muizenberg, Cape Town. “They are

practical advice for you, and your parents.

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health

is your child getting enough?

TAMLYN VINCENT looks at which essential vitamins

babies Most babies will receive all of the nutritional supplements that they need from the breast or formula milk that they drink, says Cape Town-based nutritional therapist Megan Perry. However, some babies may need additional supplements, especially if they were born premature. According to Natasha Martins, a paediatric dietician in Durban, “a vitamin D deficiency may occur in breastfed infants if the mother’s diet is low in this vitamin.” Formula-fed babies should not need additional vitamin D, unless they

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are drinking less formula than required every day. Formula-fed babies should also get enough iron from their diet, if they are drinking the recommended amount. But the amount of iron that breast-fed babies receive from breast milk, after six months of age, is not sufficient to meet the infant’s requirements, says Martins. Infants can get additional iron through their diet or through supplementation. However, Perry warns that calcium and tea slow the absorption of iron, so these supplements should not be taken with their milk or with tea.

While breast-feeding is best for babies, some moms may want the option of feeding with formula. Again, there are so many types of formula available, that it may be difficult choosing the right one to meet all of your baby’s nutritional needs. If your baby has a medical condition, such as lactose intolerance, your doctor should advise

which formula you should use. Otherwise, Martins suggests firstly following the age indication on the formula, and secondly “looking for the added benefits”. DHA/ARA (docosahexaenoic acid/arachidonic acid) have anti-inflammatory properties, while probiotics aid stomach health. “Omega-3 and -6 are also important,” adds Perry, who suggests that you consider an organic formula.

toddlers Children grow rapidly at this age and therefore need a range of vitamins and minerals to help with the development of their bones, the immune system and the brain, among other things. Children should be able to get most of these supplements from their diet, but they can also get an ageappropriate multivitamin. Martins points

out that toddlers often need additional vitamin A and D supplementation, as these requirements are usually not met through diet alone. Toddlers may also need vitamin C and B6, iron, calcium and magnesium, adds Perry, as well as omega-3 and zinc.

preschoolers and early graders If children are eating a varied, balanced diet they shouldn’t need vitamin or mineral supplementation, says Martins. However, fussy eaters or those not getting all of their vitamin requirements through their diet may need supplements. “It is important to be following a balanced diet according to a child’s age-appropriate food pyramid,” says Perry. Children should get sufficient omega-3 fatty acids from their diet, advises Martins. A vitamin C supplement can also be taken.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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e all want what is best for our children, and we want to make sure that their nutritional needs are met. But with so many supplements and multivitamins out there, it can be difficult knowing where to start.

and minerals your children need as they grow.

pre-teens Again, children at this age should be receiving most of their nutritional needs from a balanced diet. If they have a limited diet though, they can take a multivitamin.

Perry suggests that children take an ageappropriate multivitamin that contains “valuable vitamins and minerals including zinc, magnesium, iron, B-vitamins, folate and vitamin C”. Pre-teens should also take a separate omega-3 supplement, says Perry.

teenagers “The teenage years are a time of increased vitamin and mineral requirements,” says Perry, but it is also a time when teenagers may develop poor eating habits. Because of this, Perry recommends that teenagers take a good multivitamin that contains vitamin B complex, vitamin C, vitamin E, calcium, iodine, iron, magnesium, selenium and zinc.

Teenage girls will also need more iron than boys, especially when they begin to menstruate. Perry adds that girls may want to take a supplement that helps ensure healthy looking skin, while boys may look for vitamins that help build their muscles.

Evening primrose oil is a good source of the important omega-6 fatty acid, which helps to regulate heart function

magazine cape town

and balance hormones. This can help with mood swings and pre-menstrual syndrome. It can also be used as a cream to promote a healthy skin.

general tips • Multivitamins are intended as a supplement, and not as a replacement to a healthy balanced diet.

• Vitamins and minerals come in different forms: they are easiest to absorb in their food state, and you can ensure a vitamin- and mineral-rich diet by eating a variety of whole, unprocessed foods as well as plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables.

• If your child is a fussy eater, or is not eating a balanced diet for any reason, then speak to your healthcare practitioner before giving additional supplements to your child, either in pill or liquid form.

• Multivitamins should be ageappropriate as children’s needs change as they grow. However, most teenagers can take an adult multivitamin.

• Avoid multivitamins that are high in sugar or colourants, especially for younger children.

See childmag.co.za/content/vitamins for a comprehensive list of vitamins and minerals, what they do and natural sources for each of them.

vitamins and minerals Vitamin A is good for normal growth and development, bone growth and tissue repair. It also boosts the immune system and promotes good vision and healthy skin.

Vitamin B complex converts food to energy, develops red blood cells and fights infection. It is good for muscles, nerves, a strong heart and healthy skin and hair.

Vitamin C is an antioxidant and helps absorb iron, grow bones and teeth, and promote healthy ligaments.

Vitamin D builds strong bones and teeth, and helps absorb calcium and other minerals.

Vitamin E protects cells and tissue, which helps to build healthy muscles and red blood cells.

Vitamin K helps clot the blood.

Calcium promotes the growth of bones, teeth and muscle, and improves nerve function, blood clotting and cell structure.

Iodine regulates metabolism and growth.

Iron helps build muscle and red blood cells.

Magnesium helps regulate the body by contracting and relaxing muscles and nerves, and binds calcium to teeth and bones.

Omega-3 and -6 promote heart, brain and eye development and improve concentration and attention.

Selenium is an antioxidant and improves thyroid function.

Zinc promotes growth, and helps hormones and enzymes work properly.

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spotlight

it could happen to your child Drug abuse is on the radar of most schools. Why are our children tempted to experiment with these dangerous substances? DEE KOCH investigates.

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I would emerge intact. Then one day I stopped. I awoke to the realisation that smoking this stuff was no longer fun.

The fact that I did stop remains a small wonder as addiction flows strong through my family’s genes. But stop I did and no matter how uncool I then seemed, that desperate need to belong and be like everyone else no longer mattered – adolescence was behind me. In hindsight, I was incredibly lucky as marijuana, dope, weed, or whatever name you choose to give it, is by no means harmless – we all react differently to different quantities and I have a number of friends who were not so lucky.

I will be eternally grateful to my mother who welcomed that motley crew into her home, despite her fears, just to keep me close. Melinda Ferguson is living testimony to the caution that drug abuse can happen to anyone. Her

book Smacked (Oshun Books) is a scary and compelling roller-coaster account of the loss of her children, career and home to drugs. She attended a good Johannesburg school, was a prefect there and went on to study at UCT, but she still succumbed to drug abuse.

why children turn to drugs Grant Jardine, director of the Cape Town Drug Centre, says adolescence can be seen as the bridge between family and the real world. He talks about this period of development as if it were a halfway house. “If taking drugs while in a group proves to be the path of least resistance, then adolescents will often choose to take the drugs rather than risk being kicked out of the group.” Durbanbased psychologist Sherona Rawat is sympathetic to

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

t

he day I discovered dope I also discovered what it felt like to “belong”. I came from a loving home and went to an expensive school, but as I sat in the lonely transit lounge awaiting adulthood I still needed to know I was going to be okay with a capital “O”. So I cruised with a crowd that consisted of a 30-year plus man who wore black leather pants, gambled and smuggled drugs across international borders; a Rastafarian saxophonist who was years later caught up in a car theft syndicate; a Danish cough mixture addict, and a punk who wore a blue candlewick dressing gown to match his mohican. I worshipped them and took ongoing puffs from the things that they rolled.

My mother eyed them with a mixture of justified suspicion and horror, and endured sleepless nights hoping

As the child becomes isolated from loved ones and more involved with the chaos of the world he might be living in, he seeks stronger means of escape. the teenager’s need to find solace in drug use. She cites tired and overly busy parents, geographically absent grandparents and less affiliation with teachers as some of the reasons children lack role models and cohesion.

“Nuclear families are rare and parents divorce and remarry, making the family considerably larger and more diluted, to put it bluntly.” She adds, “As the child becomes isolated from loved ones and more involved with the chaos of the world he might be living in, he seeks stronger means of escape. Drugs provide that escape.”

who’s doing what?

Nikki Munitz, a counsellor at Houghton House, a registered treatment centre in Johannesburg, reports that the most common drugs bringing teenage patients into treatment are marijuana, cat or kat (methcathinone) and crystal

magazine cape town

meth or tik. “Crystal meth is cheap and easy to find, so teenagers start using it because, with their limited access to funds, it is the ‘easiest’ option.”

SA HealthInfo, a South African government-initiated project, notes in their 2010 report that crystal meth users in the Western Cape and in Gauteng are getting younger.

Jardine says this is worrying, as the younger you start using drugs the less likely you will be able to stop. While it may take a while for the negative health effects of drug use to manifest, the child or teenager’s psychological and emotional development is quickly affected. “Once a teenager starts taking drugs, they stop learning what their peers are learning and they miss out on a crucial formative process. This means that a 17-year-old drug addict, if he started using drugs at the age of 14, will be trapped in that age,” says Jardine.

While tik may be getting plenty of media coverage, huffing seems to be on the increase too. Life Talk, an organisation that provides both adolescents and parents with support by way of an active online forum, describes huffing as “the intentional inhalation or sniffing of a chemical substance, either through a rag or sprayed directly into the nose or mouth, resulting in a quick euphoric effect, an initial excitement and lowering of inhibitions followed by drowsiness and possible agitation”. It can also be fatal.

A 15-year-old high school boy, from an independent

drug use in schools The Medical Research Council surveyed 10 270 pupils, between Grades 8 and 11, at 192 government schools from all nine provinces and found that: • 12,2% reported ever having used inhalants; • 12% reported ever having used over-thecounter prescription drugs; • 7,4% reported ever having used mandrax; • 6,8% reported ever having used club drugs, like ecstasy; • 6,7% reported ever having used cocaine; • 6,6% reported ever having used tik; • 6,2% reported ever having used heroin.

The 2nd South African National Youth Risk Behaviour Survey 2008 While schools approached for comment were reluctant to comment on the extent of the problem among their pupils, the MRC statistics suggest that the proportion of illicit drug use is not negligible and that young people are at risk of damaging their health. The legal and economic consequences of using these drugs could also affect their education and future prospects.

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spotlight

Sandton school, died earlier this year from heart failure after inhaling household aerosol. He was described by his principal as “a good boy”. Life Talk says they have been receiving an increased number of reports of huffing, “at least 10 times more than in previous years”.

For some, the huffing of substances such as thinners or deodorant may be the first step towards a dependence on other drugs.

Adrian, who is now over 40 and lives at his mother’s house in Johannesburg, started sniffing thinners, poured on the collars and tie of his school uniform, in Grade 9. His marks began to drop drastically and it came as no surprise when he failed Grade 10. A few weeks into his second year of Grade 10, the principal informed his mother that Adrian and four other boys were caught with drugs. Three of the boys were disciplined and allowed to finish school. They stopped

what can you do?

Adrian’s version of events is nothing short of sobering for teenagers and parents alike: it can happen to anyone, irrespective of your income or education. Jenny Wanting of DARE, a Johannesburg-based training organisation and outpatient treatment centre for substance abuse, says teenagers may be resistant to warnings if their parents may smoke, drink or use drugs regularly. “Often the general level of permissiveness among parents makes it hard for the teen to see their own actions could be harmful.” Munitz does not believe we can stop teenagers from trying drugs, so the best option is to be upfront and to talk to your children about it. Tell them that drugs might make you feel good temporarily, but warn them that they come with a host of possible consequences. Teenagers need to know the facts to make informed decisions.

The drugs have stunted my emotional growth, and have definitely caused some brain damage. I can’t do the things I used to be able to do and work out before. drugging and went on to matriculate. But Adrian was expelled and his drug use continued. His family had to endure years of outpatient help, tough love and rehabilitation.

He did manage to turn his life around in his early thirties, and all was going well until he needed to take morphine for thirddegree burns. The use of the drug, albeit prescribed, drew him back onto the path of drug dependence, one from which he has never fully recovered.

Although Adrian no longer uses hard drugs, he has an ongoing addiction to cough mixture. “The drugs have stunted my emotional growth, and have definitely caused some brain damage. I can’t do the things I used to be able to do and work out before (because of the effects of the drugs).” His drug use has deprived him of an education and the career choices he would have had.

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What do you do if your child asks questions about your drug use? Cape Town clinical psychologist Gary Koen says, “They are not really interested in your experience, what they actually want to know is if you will talk about it (what drugs are and the consequences of taking them).” He advises parents to “get over their own anxiety”, as children are in fact testing your capacity to engage in the conversation. “Create the space to have that discussion.”

Life Talk agrees, saying you should keep the channels of communication open with your child. Encourage hobbies that support a healthy lifestyle so that activities such as drinking, drugging and huffing become less attractive. Remain involved in their life, taking an interest in their opinions, thoughts and views and encourage them to assert themselves so that they are able to stand up to others and negative peer pressure. magazine cape town

signs of drug abuse Physical appearance • Not taking care of hygiene and grooming • Not sleeping or sleeping too much • Loss of appetite • Weight loss or gain • Hyperactive or under active Personality • Disrespectful – verbally or physically abusive • Angry, paranoid, confused and extreme mood swings • Depressed – less outgoing • Very secretive and lies about movements • Stealing or losing possessions of value • Has lots of money or always asking for money • Withdraws from family and its activities Social activity/school performance • Drops old friends or activities • Absence from school • Loses interest in schoolwork – lower marks • Sleeps in class • Loses concentration or has trouble remembering things Courtesy of Rape Wise

for help and information Life Talk visit lifetalk.co.za Cape Town Drug Centre 021 447 8026 or visit drugcentre.org.za Houghton House 011 787 9142 or visit houghtonhouse.co.za Sharp 0861 233 428 or visit sharptreatment.com Narcotics Anonymous (NA) 083 900 6962 (national helpline) or visit na.org.za Sadag Substance Abuse Line 0800 121 314, sms 32312 or visit sadag.org Sanca 011 781 6410 or visit sancanational.org.za Tough Love 0861 868 445 or visit toughlove.org.za

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35

my story

when it all falls apart It took a nervous breakdown for new mother of twins, FIONA RONQUEST-ROSS, to realise that she needed help. had always felt a bit sorry for people who lost it in public places. So what was I doing in a restaurant, sobbing uncontrollably, hardly able to walk, and babbling like a drunk? I was in this state because I hadn’t recognised the symptoms of burnout, hadn’t heard the loud, clear message my body was giving me, saying, “Slow down, I can’t keep up this pace”. My body had taken over and simply forced me to slow down.

Looking back, I suppose there were four main factors that contributed to my breakdown. The first is my personality. I’m a classic A-type – intensely competitive, over-achieving and a perfectionist. As a child, I wanted to win all the prizes at school; as an adult, I wanted to have the most fulfilling relationship, run the most amazing organisation, look great, and have the perfect home and garden. Lesson one: being a perfectionist is not a bad thing. However, wanting to do everything, immediately and 120 percent well can cause a few problems.

The second factor was that I had had twins nine months previously. They are gorgeous and adorable, but lots of work. So now, in addition to everything else, I

wanted to give my children the best start in life. Only, I was going to have to do this on less than five hours’ sleep a night. Lesson two: babies bring all sorts of extra pressures.

It’s crucial to make some time for yourself, because if you fall apart, everything falls apart.

I never complained, and this was the third factor. Our family is from stoical Scottish stock, and I had learnt to say firmly: “I’m fine, thank you”, even when I was feeling terrible. I wouldn’t even admit to myself that I was feeling sick or tired. I followed my parents’ mantra of: “Pull yourself together and get on with it”. Lesson three: it’s okay to admit that you need help.

And lastly, I contracted a virus, which developed into bronchitis. True to type, I took very little notice, and over the next three weeks my bronchitis worsened until one night my sister-in-law came over and said with concern: “I hope you don’t have whooping cough.” I Googled the condition and learned that it is highly infectious, has no cure and lasts for three months. You can imagine the effect of this on my “new-mom-anxiety” – not only would my children die, but I would be responsible for their death. Lesson four: take care of yourself and don’t

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

It’s crucial to make some time for yourself, because if you fall apart, everything falls apart.

ignore signs that all is not well because “I don’t have time to go to the doctor”.

Thoroughly alarmed, I took myself off to the doctor for the third time in a week. I saw a very logical, clinical doctor who, with all the best intentions, treated the symptoms (acute bronchitis) without enquiring more holistically about my life. He prescribed the usual adult dose of cortisone and cough mixture, took a sputum sample and explained what the drugs would do. But he didn’t explain the sideeffects; that overdosing on the cough syrup would cause palpitations and insomnia and that, since I already had a high level of anxiety, cortisone would cause more sleep deprivation. Lesson five: your doctor knows only what he is told. Tell him all he needs to know to treat you effectively.

over some finer points of interior design. I also wrote key points for a radio interview my partner was due to have on that Monday. What I didn’t do, was sleep.

The next morning I called my doctor and he told me to halve the dosage. I had another night of insomnia, and this finally resulted in the collapse I suffered in the restaurant. So now I know what happens during a nervous breakdown. I cried hysterically for five hours, then vomited for three, experienced paralysis of the limbs, then nausea, paranoia and delusions for the remainder of the night. My eyes swelled up like a giant bullfrog’s because of fluid retention and I couldn’t even keep down an electrolyte solution. It was as if I was a drug addict having a full-scale withdrawal.

the final straw

reaching out

As a result I had insomnia – for three long nights. On the first night, I thought about my 10-year plan, made a list of the hobbies I’d like to develop, and then started writing a section on “how to recover after a hard-drive crash” for our organisation’s operations manual. This was a perfectly natural thing to do since my hard drive had crashed the previous month, but not at 2am.

During the second night I planned a new garden design, improved the tool storage in the garage and went

I was lucky. There were plenty of willing hands to help out. My sister, our nanny, my mom and my partner all rallied round and helped me get through what was a very frightening experience. Three weeks after the collapse, I felt more clear-headed about what had happened and why. Through some time off, leaning on my support network, lots of yoga, some long Reiki sessions, taking a natural serotonin supplement, continuing my daily walks and consciously trying to relax, breathe out and be in the

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moment with our babies, I’m starting to feel like a new person. It has been a transformative experience – I feel like a snake that has shed one skin and is learning to wear another.

get help Do you: • feel sad, suicidal, overwhelmed and exhausted?

• feel angry, frustrated, anxious or out of control?

• fear that you may harm yourself or your baby?

• feel you have lost interest in your appearance; have a low libido or little interest in sex?

• feel you lack self-confidence or the ability to think clearly or concentrate?

• no longer have control of your appetite?

• have excessive weight loss or gain?

• suffer from insomnia or sleep disturbances?

• have headaches, nausea, vomiting and other unusual physical symptoms?

Contact the Post Natal Depression Support Association’s national helpline: 082 882 0072 or sms “help” to the same number and someone will contact you.

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37

book extract

’tis the season for giving

These handmade goods from IDEAS GIFTS will make superb end-of-year presents for your children’s teachers.

Make a set of pretty ha ir clips using yarn and fabric remnants.

crocheted flower clips

You will need: • remnants of 4-ply yarn in pastel colours • 3,25mm crochet ho ok • matt gold beads • sewing thread • hair clips

butterfly hair clips

wi th a U se co tto n fab ric 1 small design. fabric; this Spray starch onto the 2 ying. also prevents it from fra rfly shape, Draw a simple butte 3 , and then transfer it to the fabric cut out. ches and Using small hand stit 4 the body contrasting thread, sew to the top section of the butterfly of the clip.

To crochet 1 Using a 3,25mm cro chet hook make 8 ch , 1 ch into starting ch ring, * 1 tr, 1 ch, 4 dtr, to make 1 ch; rep from * four tim es more. Fasten off.

2 Continue making more flowers in exactl y the same way using different colour for ea a ch flower.

3 Sew a matt gold be ad in the centre of eac h flower. Do not fasten 4 Attach each flower off. securely to the top of a clip. Fasten off.

5 Attach the clips to a pretty card. ch – chain; dtr – double treble; rep – repeat; tr – treble; sl st – slip stitch

abbreviations

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PHOTOGRAPHS: ideas

hair clips

fabric-covered frame

A picture frame always makes a great gift, esp ecially if it comes wit photograph. Cover yo h a treasured urs with a leftover pie ce of material.

You will need • a wide wooden fra me • fabric remnant • ribbon • cardboard • sewing scissors • craft knife and cuttin g mat • staple gun and sta ples • craft glue

good idea

a fabric guard Spray the frame with and dirt. to protect it from dust

To make 1 Cut a piece of fabric slig htly larger than the fra me and fold it over the the sides are covered frame so that .

2 Staple the fabric to the frame by beginning in the centre of one side. fabric tight and staple Then pull the it in the centre of the op posite side. Repeat wit two sides and then sta h the other ple along the remaining sections.

3 Tuck in the corners and neatly staple the fabric to the back of the 4 Place the frame face do frame. wn on the cutting mat and use the craft knife the fabric on the inside to cut an X in of the frame. Begin an d end about 3mm from Fold the flaps to the ba the corners. ck and staple onto the frame. Cut off all loose 5 Finish off the frame by bits of fabric. gluing a ribbon aroun d the inside of the win cardboard to the back do w or gluing of the frame to hide the staples.

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November 2011

39

book extract

clay pendants

Use air-drying clay to make these unusual pendants.

You will need • white polymer clay • rubber stamp with • • • •

a raised motif (from a craft sho p) small cookie cutters rolling pin kebab sticks leather thong

To make 1 Round pendant Ro ll a piece of clay until it is 3mm thick. Press the rubber stamp ligh tly onto the clay and cut out the motif with a round cookie cutter. Pre ss a hole through the clay usi ng a kebab stick and leave to dry on an upturned wine bottle . When dry, lift carefully and threa d a leather thong through the hole.

2 Heart-shaped pe ndant Make as before, but use a he art-shaped cookie cutter and leave to dry flat.

themed gift hampers Great ideas for hampers include a tea kit, a chocoholic’s dream or a box filled with Asian delights such as stir-fry sauces. Or get inspiration from these:

baker’s delight

baking will Anyone who enjoys for making love this gift box piping bag, cupcakes. Arrange a rations and paper cups, cake deco spoons on a couple of wooden tie with a d an a mini muffin tin, pretty ribbon.

french flair

Tre at so me on e sp ec ial to a so ph ist ica ted an d decadent French-the med gift box. Fill a clear box with a bottle of spark ling wine and delicious Fre nch treats such as maca roons, nougat and meringues.

Add a gourmet French ch eese and beautiful knife.

Use pretty scrapbooking paper, ribbon and lace to de corate the box.

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braai kit

kit for the An all-in-one kebab line a large king of the braai: some wood foil container with ab skewers, shavings and add keb and a spice a basting brush, tongs stard seed rub (see adjacent mu also add a rub recipe). You could sauce, braai marinade or basting . spices or dried apricots

mustard seed rub

Combine 30ml musta rd seeds, 30ml celery seeds, 30ml dried thyme, 15ml salt, 5ml ground black pepper, 5ml cayenne pepper, 5m l paprika and 5ml brown sugar. This mixture is ideal for rubbing into pork, chicken pieces or seafood. For a honey-mustard basting sauce that’s suitable for chicken or pork, mix a teaspoon of the rub into 15ml hone y.

caffeine fix

Any coffee lover will en joy this gift box packed with all the ingredients for that perfect cup of coffee. Line a wooden box with raffia, then pack in a small plu nge pot, a bag of coffee beans, sugar stirrers and some treats to en joy with the coffee, such as bisco tti, rusks or shortbread. Tie the box with a pretty ribbon and deco rate with a paper bow.

about the book Finding the perfect gift, especially during the festive season when the shops are packed, can be frustrating. Why not make some simple but thoughtful homemade presents that won’t break the bank and are fun to do? Ideas Gifts (Human & Rousseau) has compiled this beautiful book that will inspire you to make something unique for any occasion. Available at all good book stores nationwide.

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how to

saving up for a bigger pig LUCY OLDEN offers 10 tips to teach your children good financial sense, starting with how to manage their pocket money.

Teach your children: • that money is earned.

• how money can (or should) be spent.

• what to do with the money that is left over.

Debbie Netto-Jonker, certified financial planner and mother to Kerry, 15, and Michael, 12, agrees that there shouldn’t be a surplus: “I find if they have extra money, they don’t listen to the principles around spending it wisely; they simply do what they want to anyway.”

2

lead by example

4

set (and stick to) the ground rules

3

be sensible

5

ages three to eight: laying a good foundation

By managing your money effectively, you will teach your children to manage theirs. “Children pick up their attitudes to money from their parents,” explains Joan Lema of The South African Savings Institute (SASI). “If you are a spendthrift, your children will think that is the way money is managed.” So make sure your spending habits demonstrate those you would like to see in your children.

Give only the amount of pocket money you can afford, regardless of what other parents (or your children) advise. What counts is not the amount given, but how that amount is managed.

That said, giving children too much pocket money means they are unlikely to learn important skills like budgeting and saving. “There is a real concern, across all sectors of society, that children are being given whatever they want and are not learning the value of money,” says Fouzia Ryklief of The Parent Centre in Cape Town.

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Teach your children that what they have is all they have to spend. Period. Any additional amounts on special occasions or towards particular purchases should be given infrequently and at your discretion – the childhood equivalent of the annual bonus, if you like. And review your plan at least once a year, to be sure that any changing needs are met, or at least discussed.

From the age of three or four, children should be given every opportunity to handle money and understand its purpose.

Jenni McMinn, head of the Foundation Phase at Sweet Valley Primary School in Cape Town, says, “A level of numeracy is certainly necessary to understand how money works but, surprisingly, it isn’t those who are good at maths who easily grasp the money matters that form part of our life skills programme; it is those who have worked with and handled money since they magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

1

understand why you’re doing it

were little.” At this stage, it is also important to explain the difference between needs and wants. “This will prepare children for making good spending decisions later on,” says Lema.

Make it count: • Allow your child to handle money for treats, like a pony ride or the occasional packet of sweets.

• Look at newspaper ads or items in the home to illustrate the difference between needs and wants.

6

ages nine to 12: earning curve

Children of this age are usually ready to manage a small amount of money of their own. Tell them you are thinking of introducing pocket money and listen to their expectations. Then come up with a plan that works for all of you. Decide: • how much (determined by the value of what it will be used for); • weekly or monthly; • how much to be spent or saved; • how much to be given if earned.

Netto-Jonker finds that giving her children pocket money on a weekly basis allows her to monitor their performance more easily. She introduced it at the age of 10, with coins in an envelope to the value of a tuck-shop order. “The money usually went on sweets, but they still learnt about choices and consequences – spend now or save for later,” she says. An additional 30 percent was placed in a money box and then, when enough had accumulated, it was transferred to a savings account.

The experts agree that although most household duties should be completed simply for the sake of family contribution, there is value in offering a small amount (about R5 is reasonable) for additional chores, such as washing the car, particularly if a child has been saving responsibly for something special. Lema adds that this also teaches a valuable life lesson: “Money is earned – no work, no pay.”

• Give your child a money box or wallet.

• Draw up a budget together, detailing every cent received, spent and saved.

7

ages 13 to 18: spend it wisely

Depending on the level of responsibility shown with the weekly pocket money, consider offering a child of this age a monthly allowance. This could cover clothing and entertainment, for example.

As a mother of two girls, Hannah, 10, and Kyla, 14, Irene-based René de Wet says: “My older daughter started on a monthly allowance of R450 and quickly learnt that she doesn’t need so many clothes. She chooses to buy quality items she really loves, less frequently. She works out her budget and is trying to save about a quarter of her money towards a car magazine cape town

when she matriculates. For us, this system really works.”

Make it count: • If you haven’t already done so, set up a bank account in your child’s name, with a debit card. Show them that it’s cheaper to swipe the card than it is to draw cash.

• Go shopping together, and talk through each purchase.

8

going for goals

9

compound what?

“Teaching children to save for things they want is a great way of ensuring that they won’t depend on credit later in life,” says Lema. Ask your child to set out on paper their short-, medium- and long-term spending goals, including pictures of each item either drawn or clipped to the page.

“Then sit down together and work out how much each item costs, and what the child must do to buy it – a savings plan,” she says. Try using a thermometer chart to track their progress. Netto-Jonker says simply: “We live in a consumer society, and our children have brands and advertising thrown at them from prep-school age. If we want them to learn to save, we should keep them out of the shopping centres.”

Put simply: if left alone, money in a bank account will “grow”. In real terms: money saved earns interest, then interest on that interest. Try this simple demo to show your children how it works: place R1 in a jar and explain that you will calculate its interest, using a simplistic rate of 50 percent, per day. The next day, calculate the “interest” and add in the additional amount “earned”: 50c. The following day, calculate the “interest” again. This time you will add 75c (50c on the R1 and 25c on the previous day’s 50c). After seven days, you will be left with a total of R11,39.

That’s a great way to get children revved up about saving.

Taking it a step further, you could introduce them to the idea of compound interest on debt too – a good reason to repay borrowed money immediately.

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talk about it

In an age of internet banking and credit cards, our financial transactions are often “invisible” to our children. “By talking about money and discussing our transactions – using real financial terms – we are helping our children to understand its principles,” says Netto-Jonker. A big part of your discussions should focus on the household budget, as this affects your children directly. Netto-Jonker explains, “Telling children that money doesn’t grow on trees can be disempowering, but explaining that something is not in the budget will show them how responsible spending decisions are made.”

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Keep your children safe by showing them how to behave

ven if you were not a fan of the sci-fi TV series Star Trek, you’re probably familiar with the line from its opening sequence: “…to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no-one has gone before”. Today, all that our children need to explore the sinister world of cyberspace is a computer or cellphone with internet access. With these digital devices, children are boldly going where many parents have never been before, exploring strange worlds that are a mouse click away.

Media can be dangerous, but it also has many positive aspects. I wanted to check the exact wording for the “… where no-one has gone before” phrase, so I launched my internet browser and used the impressive search

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power of Google to help me in my quest. It took seconds.

I’m sure you do this all the time. It’s one of the primary reasons people access media, especially digital media: to find information. Everything from tomorrow’s weather, the kick-off time for Saturday’s big game to the perfect risotto recipe is a brief internet search away. The internet has also revolutionised the way we communicate and entertain ourselves.

Arthur Goldstuck, managing director of World Wide Worx, says parents tend to be oblivious to their children’s online activities, despite knowing the dangers they may encounter. His Cape Town-based company conducted research in 2010 to gauge the relative skills of children, their teachers and their parents in the use of computers, the

internet and cellphone features. “The results were startling,” he says. “Parents across the board rated their children’s skills at half the level that the children rated themselves. The parents generally believed their children to have the same level of computer skills as themselves. It seems that many parents don’t want to know how skilled their children are online, as this gives them the excuse to avoid dealing with the challenge this presents.”

If we want to raise media-savvy children who will not be adversely affected by their interaction with the media, and who will grow up to be good digital citizens with the same manners, respect and maturity we’re trying to nurture in their offline lives, we can’t afford to be ignorant about the wired world. Parents need to be media savvy too.

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PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

e

responsibly in the digital playground, says MARC DE CHAZAL.

the digital playground According to a Kaiser Foundation study in the United States, children spend an average of seven-and-a-half hours a day glued to various media. The usual suspects distracting children from their homework and fresh air are video games, the internet and the perennial favourite babysitter, the TV. Children can either use digital media to gain knowledge and create in positive ways, or it will be used to waste large chunks of time in mindless pursuits.

It’s up to us to help them strike a healthy balance. Let’s take a tour of their digital playground.

Electronic games have come a long way since Donkey Kong. Today we have a plethora of games for children that can be played on handheld devices, such as Nintendo, on

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Children can either use digital media to gain knowledge and create in positive ways or to waste large chunks of time in mindless pursuits. It’s up to us to help them strike a healthy balance.

PC or on consoles, like Xbox and PlayStation. There is also a steady stream of game apps that can be downloaded to a cellphone. Seventy-eight percent of American teens play online games and the market research company NPD Group reports that more Americans play video games than go to movies. And it’s not only boys who play these games; nearly 30 percent of console-game players are female.

The primary danger to children in the gaming world is exposure to graphically violent content and addiction – children find it difficult to know when to switch off.

Social media is a congested section of the digital playground. The allure of social media networks is being able to exchange messages, make friends, join and create groups, and view friends’ profiles. In theory, the universal rule of social media such as Facebook and MXit, is

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that children who create profiles and share information about themselves on these networks should be at least 13 years old.

The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act prohibits websites from collecting personal information about children who are under the age of 13 without their parents’ permission, but it’s easy enough for a child to fabricate their date when registering. Goldstuck believes if children are younger than 13 and using Facebook, parents “have a moral and personal family obligation to suspend their use of (the site)”.

The primary danger to children on social media networks is giving out their personal information to strangers and cyberbullying – when a child or teenager is “belittled, humiliated, intimidated or targeted by another minor with the intention of causing emotional distress, via the Web or other digital devices”.

The internet is ubiquitous. Even handheld gaming devices can connect to the internet. We use tools like Google and online banking on a regular basis.

Most adults using the internet (five million people are online in South Africa)

It seems that many parents don’t want to know how skilled their children are online, as this gives them the excuse to avoid dealing with the challenge this presents.

There are age-appropriate social media networks designed for younger children that mimic Facebook, the big brother of social media sites. These were created with fun and safety in mind, but depart from mainstream sites by dropping some of the functions that could lead children towards danger. Users of giantHello, for instance, can leave comments and update their status, but they can’t search for friends.

Friends have to be invited via email, so children can’t make friends with people they don’t know. What’s What does allow children to interact with people they don’t know, but they can’t make friends with people who are outside their age group.

And Togetherville, which targets children under the age of 10, disallows outside links, unapproved friends and private conversations. However, it’s possible for adults to create profiles on these sites and masquerade as children, the same way that it’s possible for children to circumvent age restrictions on other sites.

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are aware that creepy people may lurk anonymously in the shadowy back alleys of cyberspace, and that clicking on dodgy links promising a small fortune from a Nigerian benefactor is the height of internet stupidity. But our children don’t necessarily grasp such dangers. Even an innocent search for something can pull up inappropriate content.

The primary dangers of the internet to children, apart from those related to online gaming and social media networks, are exposure to inappropriate content and sexual predators. A recent MSN survey revealed that 75 percent of teenagers have been contacted by a stranger via the internet, and as many as 37 percent have responded to them out of curiosity.

Television is probably the media platform children are introduced to first, long before they’ll ever type a keyword into Google. The internet has far more scope for children to find stuff we’d rather they didn’t, but TV presents its fair share of magazine cape town

parental challenges. With a multitude of channels to choose from, potential threats range from violence in cartoons, sensitive footage on news broadcasts to some adverts pushing the boundaries of acceptable family viewing.

The primary danger to children watching TV is inappropriate content, and it ranks quite low on the chart of stimulating activities.

digital citizenship Imposing a blanket restriction on our children’s media access to keep them safe is an impractical solution. Instead, we need to educate them from an early age, and stay informed about internet safety and what it takes to be a good digital citizen.

Siviwe Minyi is the father of two children, and a film and media student at the University of Cape Town. He acknowledges that online media is populated by suspicious characters, such as paedophiles and bullies intent on taking advantage of children. He’s also wary of TV. “Not everything is good about globalisation. TV broadcasters attempt to define a global standard of how we should perceive the world… and positive values are often compromised in the process,” says Minyi. But he is trying to help his children balance their use of media. “My daughter, who is 14, is on Facebook, and I also have a profile. We have an agreement about her use of Facebook. I am aware of the people on her friends list and what she posts. She gets to log in for 40 minutes after she has completed her homework

and she has the freedom to consult me if she’s not sure about someone or about an event she’s been invited to. We have frank discussions about the dangers of online media and about TV.” Glynnis Ann Southern, a registered counsellor and former teacher from Cape Town, is the mother of two boys aged 14 and 15. She believes her children have had plenty of input from both their parents and schools about the dangers and consequences of the media. “We’ve drilled them about restricted media like films and games and put the ball in their court because we can’t be available 24/7 to monitor their choices. Trust is important, but so far they’ve risen to the challenge – we check the history on their PCs regularly,” she adds.

playing safely and responsibly Keeping our children safe online and teaching them how to use technology responsibly is all about staying involved – not just as a watchdog, but as someone interested in what they discover and learn from the media. Parents and children need to understand that everything we do online leaves a virtual footprint. The digital playground is vast, and the people in it are mostly anonymous and invisible to us. This makes it easy to say and do things without considering the consequences. Does your child really want to say something mean online about a schoolteacher or another classmate? Information can be copied and shared online immediately. The flip side is that we shouldn’t necessarily believe everything we read in the media.

basic internet safety rules Children should: • never share their name, school, age, phone number or address; • never send pictures to strangers; • keep passwords private (and don’t choose passwords that are easy to crack, like pet names or nicknames); • never open emails from strangers; • only visit age-appropriate sites; • avoid using technology to cheat, and • be good cyber citizens – if they wouldn’t do something offline, they shouldn’t do it online.

safety nets It’s prudent to filter your child’s media exposure from an early age and then gradually give them more freedom as they mature. Consider downloading an internet browser like Kidzui, which is moderated by parents and teachers, and directs children to over 500 000 safe sites. Browsers like Internet Explorer and Firefox have content filters – enable them. You can also set the content filters for search engines such as Google. Don’t just assume the default settings are adequate. There are also other filters worth investigating, such as Net Nanny.

Check in regularly at commonsense.org, a helpful site for parents and teachers, packed with recommendations and advice.

Finally, it’s advisable to set limits for your children, whether they are surfing the net, playing an electronic game or watching something on TV. Set an example by the way you engage with the media. You may still have more influence than the information highways converging in the digital devices they struggle to switch off.

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gone shopping LUCILLE KEMP suggests some of the best markets to visit with your family, as well as upcoming Christmas markets you won’t want to miss.

Alphen Antiques and Collectables Market When Second and fourth Sunday of every month, 10am–4pm Where Alphen Centre Hall, 10 Constantia Main Rd, Constantia Top features Find antique and collectable silver, jewellery, glass, porcelain, watches, coins and medals as well as collectable toys and books, and enjoy a variety of gastronomic delights.

Find out more 084 626 7499, desd@cybersmart.co.za or visit antiqueking.co.za

When Second Saturday of every month, 10am–4pm Where Bothasig Hall, Link Rd, (behind Super Plants), Bothasig Top features A holistic market selling natural products, and hosting healers, readers and massage therapists. At most fayres you’ll find belly dancers, fire dancers, drummers and Hula Hooping.

They do face painting for the children. The market supports Mercy Animal Rescue.

R5 entry.

Find out more 021 558 5913, 082 637 7416, info@aboutholistic.co.za or visit aboutholistic.co.za

Blue Bird Garage Market When Every Friday, 4pm–10pm Where 39 Albertyn Rd (off Main Rd), Muizenberg Top features A vibrant market featuring a variety of locallymade items including artisan breads, meats and bakes, mezze platters, organic biltong as well as jewellery, vintage clothing and wooden surfboards.

Find out more Dylan: 082 493 9055, bluebirdgarage@gmail.com or visit bluebirdgarage.blogspot.com

Century City Natural Goods Market When First Sunday of every month (only in the warmer months), 9am–2pm Where Central Park, Park Lane, Century City; on the village green Top features A distinctive market, which takes place under stretch Bedouin tents, where you can buy fresh and organic produce and support the creative arts, crafters and clothing designers.

Enjoy delicious and healthy gourmet meals and deli items as well as boat trips from Intaka Island to Canal Walk. African Tails hosts an adoption day at every market and look out for the Brave Recovery Warriors, an NGO selling organic, medicinal products and gifts. There is a jumping castle, face painting and art activities for children.

Find out more 021 531 2173, naturalgoodsmarket@gmail.com or visit centurycity.co.za

City Bowl Market on Hope Baby Bargains Market When Every three to four months, 9am–1pm. The next one is 26 November Where Pinelands Presbyterian Church, St. Stephens Rd, Pinelands Top features Expect to find nearly-new baby goods at bargain prices.

Find out more 076 100 8544, sarah@babybargainsmarket.co.za or visit babybargainsmarket.co.za

Bay Harbour Market When Every Friday (only in the warmer months) 5pm–10pm, Saturday 9:30am–5pm and Sunday 9:30am–4pm Where 31 Harbour Rd, Hout Bay Top features A vibrant showcase of foods, both prepared and fresh, as well as art, crafts, fashion, interior design and gifts.

There is an under-cover outdoor area with various activities for children such as sand art, face painting and games.

Find out more 083 275 5586, info@bayharbour.co.za or visit bayharbour.co.za

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When Every Saturday, 9am–2pm Where 14 Hope St, Gardens Top features Housed in an exquisite old building in Gardens, there is a garden and jungle gym for the children, draft beer for the dads and lots of irresistible goodies to tempt and torment the fussiest of foodies.

Find out more 073 270 8043, citybowlmarket@gmail.com or visit citybowlmarket.co.za

Constantia Waldorf Organic and Biodynamic Market When Every Friday, 11am–3pm Where Constantia Waldorf School Top features Expect to find genuine organic produce, pancakes and a variety of organic lemonades, from sugar-free to herb. Also look out for one of the tastiest organic bacons in the area.

Children can play on the fields.

Find out more Jeanne 082 215 0764 or jeenie@iafrica.com

Earth Fair Market When Tokai: every Wednesday, 3pm–8pm and every Saturday 9am–2pm St Georges Mall: every Thursday, 11am–4pm Where Tokai: South Palms Centre, 333 Main Rd, Retreat St Georges Mall: Upper St Georges Mall, between Wale and Church St, Cape Town Top features Do your weekly shopping from traders and artisans selling speciality sausages, artisan breads, organic wine and real beer. The children’s corner in Tokai has play dough, cupcakes to decorate, books to colour in, sand art and weekly special activities such as Mad Hatter’s tea parties and craft making.

Find out more Jacqui: 084 220 3856, info@earthfairmarket.co.za or visit earthfairmarket.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Bothasig Holistic Fayre

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Gaia Food Market When Twice a month on Sundays during spring. Every Friday night in December Where Alphen Hall, Constantia Main Rd, Constantia Top features Merchants sell a variety of locally-produced organic fruits and vegetables, and raw chefs and artisans make an assortment of plantbased foods. The market is mostly indoors with a courtyard that is enjoyed by families.

Find out more eatwell@gaiafoodmarket. co.za or visit gaiafoodmarket.co.za

new

Kiids Market Day When Seasonal market that runs over Christmas and the Easter holidays Where Kiids Boutique, 51 Waterloo Rd, Little Chelsea, Wynberg Top features Kiids Boutique is hosting a market day with a difference. Book your child’s stall at the market for only R20 and give them the opportunity to sell their handmade or homemade wares and eats at R10 and less per item. These items can be anything from painted pet rocks to lemonade. These markets are popular, so book in advance.

Find out more 021 762 8935 or visit kidsdecor.co.za

When One Sunday a month, 9am–3pm; 30 October, 27 November, 11 and 18 December. 2012: 29 January, 26 February, 25 March, 22 April, 27 May, 30 September, 28 October, 25 November, 9 and 16 December Where Three Stone Cottage grounds, cnr Kirstenbosch Dr and Rhodes Ave, Newlands Top features A laid-back, genuine craft market selling beautiful garments for children and adults, stationery, jewellery, glassware, ceramics, children’s dress-up clothing, knitwear, plants and hanging baskets.

Find out more Tessa and Nic: 021 697 2853, 079 436 6091 or tessnic@iburst.co.za

Obs Holistic Lifestyle Fair & Green Market

Baby and Kids Lifestyle Market

When Launches on Saturday, 17 December and from February 2012 on the first Saturday of every month, 9am–1pm Where Observatory Recreation Centre, Rawson St, Observatory Village (launch venue only) Top features A holistic baby and children’s market that features 60-plus stalls selling quality pre-loved baby and children’s clothing, toys, books and equipment, as well as bespoke and handcrafted designer clothing, toys and décor for babies and children. Children will love the puppet shows, and recycled craft workshops, two play areas featuring DreamWeaver organic jungle gyms, a jumping castle, pony rides, a petting zoo, cupcake decorating, sand art, a face painter, balloons and an activity area.

Find out more 021 788 8088, 083 332 9785, holistikids@mweb.co.za or visit holistikids.yolasite.com

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Nitida Farmers’ Market When Last Saturday of the month, 8am–12:30pm. In summer, the market also takes place on Friday evenings, 5pm–9:30pm, prior to the Saturday market Where Nitida Cellars, on the M13/Old Tygervalley Rd, Durbanville Top features Highlights include Dutch croquettes and poffertjies, pancakes, homemade British pies, Italian cheese and more. Children are entertained with face painting and candle making.

Find out more 083 651 0699, getha@ nitida.co.za or visit nitida.co.za

When First Sunday of every month, 10am–4pm. Markets coming up: 6 November, 4 and 18 December Where Observatory Recreation Centre, Rawson St, Observatory Village, Observatory Top features The fair hosts 130plus holistic, alternative, organic and eco-friendly exhibitors. Children can enjoy the DreamWeaver organic jungle gyms, a jumping castle, cupcake decorating, sand art, a face painter, balloons and there is a chill out zone, with games and the weekend newspapers.

Find out more 021 788 8088, holisticfair@mweb.co.za or visit holisticlifestylefair. yolasite.com

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Rondebosch Potter’s Market When 19 November, 8am–3:30pm Where Cnr Campground and Sanddowns Rd, Rondebosch Top features Ceramics SA Western Cape holds a market twice a year where potters gather to exhibit and sell their wares.

There is a children’s play zone with clay for them to mould while adults can shop for ceramics. A number of food stalls provide for the hungry or you may bring along your own picnic basket. This year Ceramics SA is involved in the Franschhoek Art in Clay Festival’s pottery market on 29 October.

Find out more Visit ceramics-sa-cape.co.za

Rondebosch Village Organic Market When Every Saturday, 7:30am–12pm Where St. Andrew’s Road (outside Rondebosch Library), Rondebosch Top features A child-friendly market, supplying farm produce and handmade soaps, knits, nature photographs made into cards, books and collectables. Look out for Sir Douglas, the white knight, selling medieval chainmail jewellery.

Find out more Dee: 021 696 5749 or 072 868 2322

The Cobble Walk Lifestyle Market When The first Saturday of the month, 9am–3pm Where Cnr Verdi Boulevard and De Villiers Rd, Sonstraal Heights, Durbanville Top features This indoor market is ideal to shop for art, crafts, décor, gourmet foods, children’s goodies, chic clothing and handcrafted jewellery. They take pride in the quality of their locally handcrafted items and gifts.

Find out more 079 983 7830, barbara@tibbins.com or visit goodhopemarkets.co.za

Willowbridge Slowmarket When Every Saturday, 9am–2pm Where Willowbridge Lifestyle Centre Top features Expect to find stands supplying cakes, bakes, fine pastries, biltong, preserves, pesto, pickled seafoods, gardening plants, herbs and fresh country flowers, as well as independent designers, crafters and artists.

Find out more 021 886 8514, 072 416 4890, admin@slowmarket.co.za or visit slowmarket.co.za

The Marketplace Local Goods Market Stellenbosch Fresh Goods Market When Every Saturday, 9am–2pm Where Oude Libertas Top features You will find high-quality speciality producers, food artisans, local and regional farmers, natural and organic merchants, seasonal goods, sustainable enterprises and fine-food purveyors. There are also regular workshops, food and wine pairings, artisan courses and themed food events. Added value is their Treasury Market featuring designer ware.

Find out more 021 886 8514, 072 416 4890 or visit slowmarket.co.za

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When Every second and last Sunday of the month, 9am–2pm Where Hathersage Farm, 15 Gordon Rd, Somerset West Top features A market that offers everything from authentically slow, gourmet food and fresh produce to gifts, plants, flowers, music and wine.

Bring friends and family, a picnic blanket and gather under the Camphor trees. For the children there’s face-painting, sand art, a jumping castle, pony rides and tractor rides to the market venue.

The market operates a donations station so please bring along any unwanted items for charity.

Find out more 021 851 1644, info@ tomarketwithlove.co.za or visit tomarketwithlove.co.za

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mistletoe Cape Town’s Biggest Christmas Fair When 20–23 December, 10am– 10pm; 24 December, 10am–7pm Where Good Hope Centre Top features Along with an array of stalls there is a children’s entertainment

corner,

a

free

Santa’s Christmas wish corner with a present for each child and

Christmas Candlelight Market

an opportunity to get a photo with Santa. There is a daily draw for an LED TV, as well as random gift handouts, and a gift wrapping service. The fair offers free entry to the first 100 people arriving at the gate. A percentage of the entrance fee, adults R20 and children R15, goes to Gift of the Givers.

Find out more 021 703 1868 or visit capetownsbiggestchristmasfair. co.za

Cavendish Square Festive Market When 25–27 November Where Cavendish Square (throughout the centre), Claremont Top features A vintage market showcasing a selection of Christmas gift ideas, along with food tastings, street entertainers and Christmas lunch table inspirations.

Kidazzle is hosting children’s creative projects and workshops and Loebi the white dragon makes an appearance.

Find out more Visit cavendish.co.za

When 2 December, 6pm–10pm and 3 December, 9am–2pm Where Oude Libertas Top features Authentic German delicacies are on sale including brotchein, glüwhein and traditional German waffles and vanilla ice cream. The butchery supplies organic chicken, lamb, gammon and turkey which arrives from a Karoo farm weekly. Bring a picnic blanket and enjoy the carol singing throughout the evening. There is a Christmas tree and candles for the children. Eagle Encounters is there so children have the opportunity to touch an eagle or an owl. There is a boutique gift and clothing section with locally made crafts as well as a variety of micro breweries and boutique wineries.

Find out more 021 886 8514, 072 416 4890, admin@slowmarket.co.za or visit slowmarket.co.za

Designer-Maker Festive Market When 14–16 December. Carols by candlelight 14 December, 8pm Where The Freeworld Design Centre, 71 Waterkant St Top features Designer exhibitors, including Heartworks, Heath Nash and Clementina van der Walt, have all been hand-picked

by Lauren Shantall, Head of the Freeworld Design Centre, and former curator and manager of the Design Indaba Expo. The Designer-Maker Junior Market is a new section run by children who sell their own handmade products. There will also be parent-child activities such as “design your own festive items”.

Find out more 021 427 8918, info@ freeworlddesigncentre.com or visit freeworlddesigncentre.co.za

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& markets Cobble Walk Christmas Market When 16–18 and 21–23 December, 9am–5pm Where Cobble Walk Centre, cnr Verdi Boulevard and De Villiers Rd, Sonstraal Heights, Durbanville Top features Make use of the market’s extended hours and do some of your Christmas shopping. Stalls include décor, cakes, jewellery, and a special area with jewellery and nik naks for children.

Find out more Barbara: 079 983 7830, barbara@tibbins.com or visit goodhopemarkets.co.za

Franschhoek Christmas Market When 28 October–6 November, 9am–6pm daily. 30 October and 6 November, 10am–4pm Where Town Hall, Huguenot Rd, Franschhoek Top features Enjoy a shopping experience to cater for everyone – from handbags and garden furniture for mom to chocolates for dad’s sweet tooth. Enjoy light meals and drinks in the tea garden. A portion of the proceeds is donated to the Anna Foundation.

Find out more Amelia: 072 254 7744 or amelia.schwenke@gmail.com

French Christmas Market When 3 December, 9:30am–2:30pm Where 101 Hope St Top features The French School is organising a French Christmas Market on the premises of the school. There are French and non-French exhibitors, a small art exhibition of local French artists and a French used book sale.

Find out more carolinesai7@gmail.com

Kiids Xmas Market Day When 19 November Where Kiids Boutique, 51 Waterloo Rd, Little Chelsea, Wynberg Top features Hand-crafted items made by children; from Christmas decorations, handmade cards, lemonade, plants and pancakes.

Find out more 021 762 8935 or visit kidsdecor.co.za

Kloovenburg Wine & Olive Estate Christmas Market When 17 December, 9:30am–3pm Where Kloovenburg Wine & Olive Estate, Riebeek Kasteel Top features Get ideas for your Christmas table, stock up with delicious stocking fillers or buy a Kloovenburg Festive Season Hamper as a present, which includes their luxury body product range, olives, olive oils and the estate’s superb wines. There is a trampoline to keep children busy.

Find out more 022 448 1635, info@kloovenburg.com or visit kloovenburg.com

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NGK Stellenbosch Christmas Market When 24 November–3 December.

Monday–Friday and Sunday, 9am– 8pm; Saturday, 9am–3pm Where Martinson St, Uniepark, Stellenbosch Top features There is an array of exhibitors and there are a few upliftment projects selling their wares. There is entertainment for the children, and the family can have dinner at the restaurant.

Find out more 021 883 3850 or visit familiekerk.com

Nitida Xmas Night Market When 25 November, 5pm–9:30pm and 26 November, 8am–12:30pm Where Ntidia Wine Farm, on the Old Tygervalley Rd/M13, Durbanville Top features On Friday, Welgemoed Primary’s junior choir sings Christmas Carols from 6:30pm or come for breakfast on Saturday morning.

Find out more 083 651 0699, getha@ nitida.co.za or visit nitida.co.za

St. Martini Church annual Christmas bazaar When 26 November, 10am Where 240 Long St Top features Share in the family fun with games for the children, handmade crafts and cake for mom and bratwurst and beer on tap for dad. There are many German specialities on offer.

Find out more 021 423 5947

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books

a good read for toddlers Bravo, Boris!

By Carrie Weston and Tim Warnes

for preschoolers best bedtim e story

(Oxford University Press, R120) Miss Chuck takes the class camping, and everyone is very excited. Boris is the biggest, bravest and most helpful camper of them all. He is ready to step in whenever his little classmates find themselves in trouble. Everyone needs a friend like Boris. Bravo, Boris! follows on from the success of Oh, Boris!, which has sold over 400 000 copies internationally. Apart from the beloved Boris, children are sure to enjoy the cast of entertaining characters as well as the theme of loyalty and teamwork.

Rhinos Don’t Eat Pancakes

By Anna Kemp and Sara Ogilvie (Simon and Schuster, R90) This is a delightful story from the creators of Dogs Don’t Do Ballet. A purple rhino escapes from the zoo and makes himself at home in Daisy’s house. When Daisy reports this phenomenon to her parents, they don’t believe her. They are too busy to listen to such silliness, they say. Daisy has no choice but to befriend the large, lilac creature, and together they have loads of fun. Until Daisy’s mom and dad decide to take her to the zoo to see a real rhino. Imagine their surprise when they learn that a purple rhino has escaped from the zoo…

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for early graders

Marshall Armstrong is New to Our School

By David Mackintosh (Harper Collins Children’s Books, R90) In this book, the young narrator makes it clear that the new boy in class is very different from anyone else. Marshall’s ear looks like a shell. His laces are straight and not crisscrossed. His freckles look like birdseed on his nose. The narrator is convinced that poor Marshall will never fit in. That is until he invites the whole class to his birthday party, and everyone finds out that Marshall Armstrong is actually cool.

Children will learn how wonderful it is to be different, and to never judge a book by its cover.

James and the win a book s Giant Peach et

By Roald Dahl and Quentin Blake (Puffin Books, R130) To celebrate the 50th anniversary of this Dahl classic, Puffin Books has brought out a new edition by one of the world’s greatest storytellers.

We are giving away one set of the Roald Dahl Phizz-Whizzing Collection valued at R1 000. Email your details to win@childmag.co.za with “CT Roald Dahl win” in the subject line before 30 November 2011. Only one entry per reader. For more info on the books, visit penguinbooks.co.za or followthatpeach.com

magazine cape town

for preteens and teens

for us

parenting books

The Pachyderm Tree

By Jill Morsbach (Shuter & Shooter, R64) After an accident in a game park, spoilt city boy Frankie Frans finds that he is able to “mind talk” with animals. He is persuaded by a group of desperate elephants to lead them on a quest to find the Pachyderm Tree of the ancient elephant legend. The elephants have no choice – if they do not find the tree and eat of its magical fruit, a terrible fate awaits them. Tragedy strikes and blood is shed as elephant meets man. And then, as the clouds move away, a miracle unfolds. This is an exciting read for preteens that deals with conservation issues that young readers can relate to.

Anne of Avonlea and Kidnapped

By L.M. Montgomery and Robert Louis Stevenson (Oxford University Press, R75 each) This publishing house has revamped a collection of children’s classics. Included are the stories of Anne, now 16 and ready to take her place in Avonlea society as a teacher at her old school, and the Stevenson classic, Kidnapped, where orphan David Balfour is thrown overboard a prison ship and he sets off to find justice and revenge with wanted rebel Alan Breck. Other classics in the series include Black Beauty, Little Women, Treasure Island, The Jungle Book, Pride and Prejudice and many more.

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Starting Over, One Cake at a Time

By Gesine Bullock-Prado (Allison & Busby, R185) She is the younger sister of actress Sandra Bullock, but don’t expect her to reveal her famous sibling’s secrets. As head of her celebrity sister’s production company, Bullock-Prado had a closet full of designer clothes and the ear of all the influential studio heads, but she was miserable.

The only solace she found was in her secret hobby: baking. With every sugary, buttery confection to emerge from her oven, Gesine took one step away from her glittering, empty existence, and one step closer to her true destiny. Before long, she and her husband left the trappings of their Hollywood lifestyle to open their dream bakery in the stunning Vermont Mountains.

Toddler Sense

By Ann Richardson

parent ing made easy

(Metz Press, R145) Toddlerhood is a time of tremendous growth and development. It is also a time of tantrums and conflict. Knowing what constitutes normal toddler behaviour will help you accept this and will go a long way towards effective, guilt-free and realistic parenting. Your toddler learns through his senses, and to guide him, you need to “practise wisdom with sense”. Now fully updated and expanded to include the latest relevant research, this popular follow-up to Baby Sense tells you how to recognise and understand your toddler’s unique sensory profile, manage stimulation, solve bedtime battles with age-appropriate sleep training, and prepares you for a host of other issues you’ll need to deal with.

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calendar

You can also access the calendar online at

what’s on in november

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by LUCILLE KEMP.

22 tues

special events

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FUN for children

59

only for parents

64

bump, baby & tot in tow

66

how to help

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The Phantom of the Opera Broadway’s longest running musical make its longawaited appearance in Cape Town.

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Creative Daze art lessons Activities include painting, drawing, sculpting and creating art with recycled materials.

Madame Zingara Presents an evening of burlesque that will enchant, captivate and inspire.

Home-birth gathering An open discussion for those who have given birth at home and for those who are interested in having a home birth.

Host a Mo Party this Movember In your workplace, town, sports club or in the great outdoors. See their website for details.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / Phantom of the Opera – Pat Bromilow Downing

SPECIAL EVENTS

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calendar

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 tuesday Santa Shoebox Project If you haven’t already done so, make sure you get involved in the Santa Shoebox Project in aid of underprivileged children. Visit their website for the requirements. You need to drop off your filled shoebox at a central distribution point closest to you between 20 October and 4 November. For more info: info@santashoebox.co.za or visit santashoebox.co.za

2 wednesday FNB Whisky Live Festival Experience the whisky lifestyle with like-minded friends, family and work colleagues – from the beginner to the connoisseur.

Enjoy over 180 whiskies, the interactive tasting workshops, educational zones and deli foods. Ends 4 November.

Time: 6pm–10pm. Venue: Cape Town International Convention Centre, Convention Square, 1 Lower Long St. Cost: R100–R550. For more info: visit whiskylivefestival.co.za

4 fri

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5 saturday Three Peaks Challenge The Three Peaks commemorates a 100-year-old achievement when Devil’s Peak, Maclear’s Beacon (the highest point of Table Mountain), and Lion’s Head is scaled. The distance covered is 50km. The number of entrants is limited to 120. Time: start 5am, cut-off at 7pm. Venue: start at 108 Long St and end at Greenmarket Square.

Cost: R160 entry fee. For more info: visit hikecapetown.co.za

13 sunday The Big Walk It’s that time again. Hit the road on anything from a 5km to an 80km distance. Official charities are Nazareth House, Steenberg Foundation and Cansa. Time and venue: 80km St George’s Grammar School, Mowbray, 3:45am; 50km, Fish Hoek Beach, 6:15am; 30km, Long Beach, Simon’s Town, 9am; 25km, Fish Hoek Beach, 8:30am; 20km, Dolphin Beach, Blouberg, 8am; 13km, cnr Main and Zwaans Rd, Retreat, 7:30am; 12km, Green Point Park, Green Point, 7am; 11km, NY49 Sports Fields, Gugulethu, 7:30am; 10km, Grand Parade, Cape Town,

Cape Dairy Experience Learn to make butter, Italian cheese and ice cream in the interactive dairy pantry.

There is an authentic show of world-class animals, ice-cream eating competitions and old-fashioned Boeresport. Bake traditional milk tart, roosterkoek and pot bread on a coal fire, while the young ones make their own stokbrood to enjoy with homemade butter and cheese.

Children especially love the milking demonstrations, youth shows and dog jumping performances. They can milk a mock-cow and learn how to lead a cow or goat around the ring. Also 5 November.

Time: 10am–5pm, Friday; 9am–9pm, Saturday. Venue: Sandringham, next to the N1 between Cape Town and Paarl.

Cost: R30 for adults, free for children 13 years and younger and school groups once they’ve registered with the organiser’s office before the event. Contact Mariana: 021 975 4440, mariana@agriexpo.co.za or visit capedairy.co.za

8am; 5km, Boundary Rd, Newlands, 10:30am. Cost: R50 for 20km−80km; R40 for 10km−13km; R30 for 5km. For more info: visit bigwalk.co.za

16 wednesday Jan van Riebeeck Primary School music festival Musicians include Zanne Stapelberg, Minette du Toit-Pearce and Roucher du Toit, among others. The school choir also performs. Time: 7pm.

Venue: Cape Town City Hall. Cost: R80 for adults, R20 for high school pupils and free for primary school pupils. Contact: 021 423 4209

20 sunday Kirstenbosch Summer Sunset Concerts begin today Launching with Locnville and Jax Panic, now’s the time to mark your diary and ensure that you wind down the weekend with music, good company and nature. The season runs every Sunday until 1 April 2012. Time: 5:30pm–7pm. Venue: Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden, Rhodes Dr, Newlands. Cost: R80–R125, special rates for 6−21 year olds. Contact: 021 799 8783/8620, visit sanbi.org or book via webtickets.co.za

22 tuesday The Phantom of the Opera Broadway’s longest running musical, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera has experienced sell-out seasons around the world, and now makes its long-awaited appearance in Cape Town. Having played to more than 100 million people in 149 cities around the world, this full-scale production is arguably the most popular musical of all time. Ends 15 January. Time: 2pm, 2:30pm, 7pm or 8pm. Venue: Artscape Opera House. Cost: R125, R175, R275 or R375. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695

25 friday Cape Town Festival of Beer South Africa’s largest festival of beer is back.

The festival includes beer tastings, beer sales, lucky draws, brewing demos and a competition, a children’s entertainment area, food stalls, a braaing competition, top live entertainment and much more. Ends

5 sat

German International School annual fête Enjoy German gemütlichkeit, the exquisite Christmas stall, traditional German cakes, German books, a silent auction, farmyard stall, fabulous prizes in the raffle draw including two Lufthansa tickets to Europe and the beer tent for adults, which will be pumping with live oompah music from 3:30pm. Sample the kassler with sauerkraut, bratwurst, pretzels and then take a wild ride on Cape Town’s longest foefie slide. Time: 11am–9pm. Venue: The Deutsche Internationale Schule Kapstadt, 28 Bay View Ave, Tamboerskloof.

Cost: R20 entry for adults, children enter free. Contact Charmaine: 021 480 3840

27 November. Time: gates open 12pm.

Venue: Hamilton’s Rugby Club, Green Point Common. Cost: day pass R60, 2-day pass R100, 3-day pass R120. For more info: visit capetownfestivalofbeer.co.za

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26 saturday Nederburg picnic concert The season finale features the Cape Philharmonic Youth Orchestra and the Cape Philharmonic Youth Wind Ensemble. Port Elizabeth-based jazz band MoJazz opens the show. Picnic baskets are welcome, BYOB is not allowed.

Time: gates open 3pm; concert begins 5pm. Venue: Nederburg Wine Estate, Paarl. Cost: adults R60, free for children under 12 years. Contact: 021 809 8345 or dmcdonald@distell.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Art for All An art programme that covers drawing, painting, mixed media, printmaking, ceramics, basic sculpture and crafts. Adult art classes cover the various drawing and painting techniques, as well as a large range of related disciplines.

For Grade 1–10 children. Time: varies according to grade, Monday–Friday.

Venue: 6 Highfield Rd, Rosebank. Cost: R400 per term. Contact: 021 686 6459, 083 619 7062 or visit artwithshirley.com Artjamming art classes This high quality program offers art instruction and basic understanding of how to draw and paint. Each week the team’s highly experienced art teachers will explore a different theme, taking your children on a creative journey of expression. Ages 5–13 years (Monday–Wednesday) and ages 14 and older (Thursday). Time: 3pm–4pm or 4pm–5pm, Monday–Thursday. Venue: Cape Quarter, shop 14, Somerset Rd, Green Point. Cost: R150 per class. Contact: 021 421 6129

Creative Daze art lessons Activities include painting, drawing, sculpting, creating art with recycled materials, clay work, beads, crafts and much more.

Venue: Rondebosch, off Milner Rd. Time: 1pm–3pm and 3:30pm–5:30pm, every Friday; 10:30am–12:30pm and 1pm–3pm, every Saturday. Cost: R125 per class or R500 per month. Contact Sian: 074 584 8118 or siansivi@hotmail.com Free two-hour introductory fabricpainting workshop For adults and children. Weekday classes at Frank Joubert Art Centre are also offered. 26 November.

Time: 8:45am–10:45am. Venue: Pinelands.

Cost: R30 per kit. Contact Wendy: 021 531 8076, 082 391 4954 or wendyadriaan@ telkomsa.net Iziko art education Art-making workshop.

8 November. Time: 10am–12:30pm.

Venue: Lighthouse Club for the Blind, Helen Keller Hostel. Cost: call to enquire.

For more info: visit iziko.org.za Kidz Discovery weekly workshops Incorporates art and tactile exploration, science experiments, language, culture, and preschool preparedness skills as part of a comprehensive BrightStart programme that creates fun learning opportunities from very young. Times and costs vary depending on age. Venue: The Drive, Camps Bay. Contact Kathy: 083 654 2494, info@kidzdiscovery. co.za or visit kidzdiscovery.co.za Saturday and weekday mural art classes with Mural Maniac From age 10 years. Five people per class. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Welgelegen. Cost: from R350 for a one-hour class. Refreshments, paints, materials and 1,2 x 1,2 mural board included. Contact Lisa: 072 972 5568 or Theo: 072 359 7958

SPCA Royal Canin Wiggle Waggle Walkathon Join thousands of dog-loving Capetonians and their fourlegged pals for Cape Town’s biggest and best dog walk. It’s a gentle 4,5km walk around Tokai. There are loads of prizes and giveaways on the day from Royal Canin as well as children’s entertainment and a great variety of food. Time: registration opens 7am and walk starts 9am. Venue: Cape Town School for Maths, Science and Technology, Firgrove Way, Tokai. Cost: R30 per person (children in prams are free) and R20 per dog. For more info: visit spca-ct.co.za

magazine cape town

20 sun

27 sun

Annual Motorcycle Toy Run The Toy Run is open to any licensed motorcyclist on any roadworthy, licensed motorcycle providing that they donate at least one toy each, to be collected at the end of the ride. There is a desperate need for toys for older children such as sports equipment, cricket sets, basketball hoops, soccer, tennis and rugby balls, costume jewellery and craft kits, toiletries and make-up for older girls, puzzles and board games, and drawing and art equipment. Please, no toy guns of any sort must be donated. Time: departs at 10:30am. Venue: starts at Ysterplaat Airforce Base and Ottery Hypermarket and ends at Maynardville. For more info: visit toyrun.co.za

Sue Nepgen’s children’s art tuition Children attend classes once a week. Ideal for ages 4–13 years. Time: held in the afternoons and Saturday morning. Venue: Michael Oak Waldorf School, Kenilworth

or 28 Klaasenbosch Dr, Constantia. Cost: R520 a term, including materials, firing and outings. Contact Sue: 021 794 6609, 083 237 7242 or snepgen@xsinet.co.za

classes, talks and workshops Little Cooks Club New classes on Wednesday. Healthy cooking classes of mini lemon cheesecakes, shortbread, summer salad and Christmas treats for boys and girls. For ages 2–6 years. Time: 2:30pm–3:30pm, every Wednesday.

Venue: Durbanville. Cost: R85 per class, R590 for seven classes. Contact: 073 227 3404 or lisab@littlecooksclub.co.za Tots n Pots Join in this cooking and baking workshop and cook a variety of healthy snacks, meals and yummy treats.

Time: I Can Do it Myself programme for

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Full moon hike Enjoy the sunset over Table Mountain with stunning views of the Winelands on top of Klapmuts Koppie. Walk this marked hiking trail through the Renosterveld Conservancy with friends and family.

The distance is 9,75km, with a 5km option with farm vehicle assistance to the halfway mark. 10 November.

Time: arrive at Dirtopia Trail Centre by 5:15pm. Venue: Dirtopia Trail Centre, Delvera Farm, R44 between Stellenbosch and Klapmuts. Cost: R50 per person including permit; optional shuttle to halfway mark and map; R20 for children under 10 years. Contact: 021 884 4752, info@dirtopia.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za

10 thu

6–10 year olds, 3pm–4pm, every Tuesday.

Little Chefs for 3–6 year olds, 1pm–2pm and 3pm–4pm, every Wednesday. Little Chefs for 3–6 year olds, 3pm–4pm, every Thursday. 2–10 year olds 10am–11am, every Saturday. Venue: Constantia Tots n Pots.

Cost: R680 per term (eight weeks) or R90 per class if space available. Contact Chene: 083 649 7405, chene@totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com Weekly drumming workshop Every Thursday during school term, children can drum and sing to stories, songs and enjoy loads of exciting drumming games in this action-packed, high-energy workshop.

Children can now experience the magic of Djembe drumming. For children aged 3–10 years. Time: 1:30pm and 2:30pm (two sessions). Venue: Church of Christ, cnr Irene Ave and Lourensford Rd, Somerset West. Cost: R40 for 30 minutes of high-energy drumming or R120 for four consecutive weeks. Contact: Lana 071 871 5839 or lana@drumkidz.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Apricot picking It’s time for annual apricot picking, where visitors can pick and sample sweet, juicy Bulida apricots. 23 November–7 December. As part of their annual fundraising projects, the Vygieshof Home for the Aged offers visitors a braai on 23, 26 and 30 November. Time: 8am–4pm, Monday–Saturday. Venue: De Krans Wine

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Picnic at Solms Delta

Cellar, Calitzdorp. Cost: R3,90 per kg. For bookings and further information contact Helet or Bessie: 044 213 3314 or dekrans@ mweb.co.za Cape Dairy Experience Time: 10am–5pm, Friday, 9am–9pm, Saturday.

Venue: Sandringham, next to the N1 between Cape Town and Paarl. Cost: R30 adults, free for children 13 years and younger and school groups once they’ve registered with the office before the event.

Contact Mariana: 021 975 4440, mariana@ agriexpo.co.za or visit capedairy.co.za Muizenberg Moonlight Meander You are encouraged to take your beach back and join in the mass monthly meander, which

takes place on the Saturday closest to a full moon. This month it is on 20 November.

For more info: visit safertogether.org.za Picnic at Solms-Delta Picnic along beautiful, shady river banks or overlooking a private lake at the Solms-Delta Wine Estate and pack costumes and towels to cool off in the sparkling river shallows.

Picnic hampers are packed on your arrival, so expect a short wait before being taken to the picnic area. Time: 9am–5pm, daily.

Venue: Solms-Delta Wine Estate, Delta Rd off the R45, Groot Drakenstein, Franschhoek Valley. Cost: adults R135, children R65. Prebooking essential. Contact: 021 874 3937, ext. 115 or visit solms-delta.co.za

magazine cape town

family outings Contego Wines2Whales MTB Adventure Starting in the Winelands of Somerset West, riders cross through and over 13 wineries, 26 private farms, six mountains,

historic roads and mountain passes, nature conservation areas (including the Kogelberg Biosphere) before finishing within sight of the famous whales of Hermanus. Take the family out to various vantage points along the spectator-friendly route and welcome the cyclists as they pass through. 4–6 November. Time: tbc. Venue: stage one starts at Lourensford Wine Estate, Somerset West and ends at Grabouw Country Club; stage two starts and ends at Grabouw Country Club; stage three starts at Grabouw Country Club and ends at Onrus Caravan Park, Hermanus. Cost: varies. Contact: 076 118 0874, entries@wines2whales.com or visit wines2whales.co.za

Gaia Food Market Merchants sell a variety of locally-produced organic fruits and vegetables, and raw chefs and artisans make an assortment of plant-based foods. From gourmet dishes, raw tree nuts, freshly baked breads, nut cheeses, to a wide variety of teas, salads, wraps and juices. 6 and 20 November. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Alphen Hall, Constantia Main Rd, Constantia. Cost: free entry. Contact: eatwell@gaiafoodmarket. co.za or visit gaiafoodmarket.co.za

markets

4–6 November – Contego Wines2Whales MTB Adventure

magazine cape town

Alphen Antiques and Collectables Market Find antique and collectable silver, jewellery, glass, porcelain, watches, coins and medals as well as collectable toys and books, and enjoy a variety of gastronomic delights. 13 and 27 November. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: Alphen Centre hall (opposite Constantia Village), 10 Constantia Main Rd, Constantia. Contact: 084 626 7499, desd@cybersmart.co.za or visit http://antiqueking.co.za Baby Bargains Market Expect to find nearly-new baby goods at bargain prices.

The market usually runs every three to four months. 26 November. Time: 9am–1pm.

Venue: Pinelands Presbyterian Church, St. Stephens Rd, Pinelands. Contact: 076 100

8544, sarah@babybargainsmarket.co.za or visit babybargainsmarket.co.za Bay Harbour Market A vibrant showcase of foods, both prepared and fresh, as well as art, crafts, fashion, interior design and gifts with an authentic snoek and crayfish braai being one of the highlights.

Live music and entertainment form an integral part of the market experience with a formal sound stage and buskers.

There is an under-cover outdoor area with various activities for children such as sand art, face painting and games. Time: 5pm–10pm, Friday; 9:30am–5pm,

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Nitida Xmas Market On Friday, Welgemoed Primary’s Junior Choir sings Christmas carols from 6:30pm on Friday and on Saturday morning, breakfast is served. 25 and 26 November.

Time: 5pm–9:30pm, Friday; 8am–12:30pm, Saturday. Venue: Nitida, Old Tygervalley Rd/M13, Durbanville. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 083 651 0699, getha@ nitida.co.za or visit nitida.co.za

Saturday; 9:30am–4pm, Sundays. Venue: 31 Harbour Rd, Hout Bay. Contact: 083 275 5586, info@bayharbour.co.za or visit bayharbour.co.za Blue Bird Garage Market A vibrant market featuring a variety of locally-made items including artisan breads, meats and bakes, mezze platters, organic biltong as well as jewellery, vintage clothing and wooden surfboards. They also have live music performances from wellknown musicians and new artists. Time: 4pm–10pm, every Friday. Venue: 39 Albertyn Rd, Muizenberg. Contact Dylan: 082 493 9055, bluebirdgarage@gmail.com or visit bluebirdgarage.blogspot.com Bothasig Holistic Fayre A holistic market selling natural products, and hosting healers, readers and massage therapists.

At most fayres you’ll find belly dancers, fire

dancers, drummers and hula hooping plus there are talks and mini workshops and a range of home-cooked vegetarian and non vegetarian meals. They do face painting for the children. The market supports Mercy Animal Rescue. Time: 10am–4pm, second Saturday of every month. Venue: Bothasig Hall, Link Rd, (behind Super Plants), Bothasig. Cost: R5 entry. Contact: 082 637 7416, 021 558 5913, info@aboutholistic. co.za or visit aboutholistic.co.za Century City Natural Goods Market A distinctive market, which takes place under stretch Bedouin tents, where you can buy fresh and organic produce and support the artists, crafters and clothes designers. Time: 9am–2pm, first Sunday of every month.

Venue: Central Park, Park Lane, Century City. On the village green next to Intaka Island Nature Reserve. Contact: 021 531 2173, naturalgoodsmarket@gmail.com or visit centurycity.co.za City Bowl Market on Hope Think bagels, Indian food, sushi and croissants, fresh produce, ciabata, cheese and everything in between. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday.

Venue: 14 Hope St, Gardens. Contact: 073 270 8043, citybowlmarket@gmail.com or visit citybowlmarket.co.za Constantia Waldorf Organic and Biodynamic Market Expect to find genuine organic produce, pancakes, a variety of organic lemonades – from sugarfree to herb, as well as one of the tastiest organic bacons. Children can be found happily playing on the fields. Time: 11am –3pm, every Friday. Venue: Constantia Waldorf School. Contact Jeanne 082 215 0764 or jeenie@iafrica.com Drostdy-Hof Country Christmas market You will find well-priced items such as books, toys, crafts, clothing and jewellery. You’ll be entertained by the Abie Thomas instrumental and jazz band. 12 November. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: De Oude Drostdy, Tulbagh. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 023 230 0203 Earth Fair Market Do your weekly shop from traders and artisans selling everything from specialty sausages, farm cheese, organic and farm fruit and vegetables, freerange eggs, smoked fish and preserves to artisan breads, organic wine and real beer.

Time: Tokai: 3pm–8pm, every Wednesday and 9am–2pm, every Saturday. St Georges

Mall: 11am–4pm, every Thursday. Venue: Tokai: South Palms Centre, 333 Main Rd, Retreat. St Georges Mall: Upper St Georges Mall, between Wale and Church St, Cape Town. Contact Jacqui: 084 220 3856, info@earthfairmarket.co.za or visit earthfairmarket.co.za Franschhoek Christmas Market Buy a handbag and garden furniture for mom and chocolates for dad’s sweet tooth.

Enjoy light meals and drinks in the tea garden. 28 October–6 November. Time: 9am–6pm, daily; 30 October and 6 November: 10am–4pm. Venue: Town Hall, Huguenot Rd, Franschhoek. For more info: visit franschhoek.org.za German International School annual fête Enjoy genuine German gemütlichkeit.

5 November. Time: 11am–9pm. Venue: The Deutsche Internationale Schule Kapstadt, 28 Bay View Ave, Tamboerskloof.

Cost: R20 adults, free for children. Contact Charmaine: 021 480 3840 Kiids Xmas Market Hand-crafted items made by children, from Christmas decorations, handmade cards, lemonade, pot plants and pancakes. 19 November.

Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: Kiids Boutique, 51 Waterloo Rd, Little Chelsea, Wynberg.

Cost: free entry for visitors. Contact: 021 762 8935 or visit kidsdecor.co.za

Neighbourgoods Market This gourmet market features over 100 specialty traders, fine-food purveyors, organic merchants and artisan products as well as the DesignGoods Market, which features over 30 traders across all disciplines, including fashion, jewellery, accessories, furniture, vintage items, textiles and ceramics. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: The Old Biscuit Mill, 373–375 Albert Road, Woodstock. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit neighbourgoodsmarket.co.za NGK Stellenbosch Christmas Market 24 November–3 December. Time: 9am–8pm; 9am–3pm, Saturdays. Venue: Martinson St, Uniepark, Stellenbosch. Contact: 021 883 3850 or visit familiekerk.com Porter Estate Produce Market A variety of fresh produce and artisan foods to enjoy as well as one of the best brekkie rolls, washed down with genuine moer koffie.

Hand-crafted gifts by local crafters and loads of children’s activities from the huge sand pit, jungle gym and Chacma Castle to sand art, cupcake decorating and pony rides. Dogs on leads are welcome. Time: 9am–1pm, every Saturday. Venue: Chrysalis Academy grounds, Porter Estate, Tokai.

Cost: R5 parking per car. Contact Gail: 082 334 5434, info@outdoormarket.co.za or visit outdoormarket.co.za

Porter Estate Produce Market, every Saturday

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blanket and gather under the Camphor trees. For the children there’s face-painting, sand art, a jumping castle, pony rides and tractor rides to the market venue. The market operates a donations station so please bring along any unwanted items for charity. Time: 9am–2pm, second and last Sunday of every month. Venue: Hathersage Farm, Gordon Rd, Somerset West. Contact: 021 851 1644, info@tomarketwithlove. co.za or visit tomarketwithlove.co.za

20 sun

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19 November – Rondebosch Potter’s Market

Rondebosch Potter’s Market Ceramics SA Western Cape holds a market twice a year where potters from all around gather to exhibit and sell their wares. There is a children’s play zone with clay for them to mould while adults can shop for ceramics.

19 November. Time: 8am–3:30pm. Venue: cnr Campground and Sanddown Rd, Rondebosch. For more info: visit ceramicssa-cape.co.za St. Martini Church annual Christmas bazaar Share in the family fun with games for the children, handmade crafts and cake for mom, bratwurst and beer on tap for dad.

There are many German specialties on offer.

26 November. Time: 10am. Venue: 240 Long St. Cost: free. Contact: 021 423 5947 Strawberry Summer Fair Stellenbosch Slowmarket presents a host of foods and products made exclusively from strawberries including strawberry pesto for ice cream and strawberry sausages.

5 November. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Oude Libertas Amphitheatre, cnr Adam Tas and Oude Libertas Rd, Stellenbosch.

Cost: free. Contact: 021 886 8514 or visit slowmarket.co.za The Marketplace Local Goods Market A market that offers everything from a diverse range of authentically slow, gourmet food and freshly picked produce to a range of carefully crafted gifts, plants, flowers, music and wine. Bring a picnic

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Baby Jake premieres Boldly going where no baby has gone before; Magic Baby Jake lives in a windmill with his mom, dad and nine older brothers and sisters. Starts 7 November on CBeebies. Time: 7:15am and 3:15pm. DStv, Channel 306 The Phantom of the Opera 22 November–15 January. Time: 2pm, 2:30pm, 7pm and 8pm. Venue: Artscape Opera House. Cost: R125, R175, R275 or R375.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695 Tygerberg Children’s Choir Their Christmas concert series starts. 20 and 27 November, 4 and 11 December. Time: 3pm.

Venue: Endler Hall, University of Stellenbosch.

Cost: R90. For more info: visit tcc.co.za

playtime and story time Ice Rink at Tyger Valley Centre 15 November–15 January. Head to Tyger Valley Centre and experience the 360m ice rink complete with a chill-out lounge and DJ’s igloo. An infinity screen has been installed behind the ice rink, which depicts live footage of glaciers, snow-tipped mountains and other cool imagery. With the help of professional childminders and Ice Rink mascot Robbie the Seal, children aged 3–10 can also experience a white Christmas on ice. For more info: visit tygervalley.co.za Kidz Discovery open intro play date All parents of babies and toddlers aged 3 months to 5 years, who are looking for professionally run early development classes by a child development specialist, are invited to view Kidz Discovery’s facilities and enjoy a little free play with your child. This includes registration for the highly rated, unique BrightStart Preschool Preparedness Programme as well as art and craft classes for

Kirtsenbosch Summer Sunset Concerts The season begins 20 November and runs every Sunday until 1 April 2012.

Time: 5:30pm–7pm. Venue: Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden, Rhodes Dr, Newlands. Cost: R80–R125, special rates for 6–21 year olds. Contact: 021 799 8783/8620, visit sanbi.org or book via webtickets.co.za

the older ones. They are doing registration for 2012 too. 16 November. Time: 1:30pm–2:30pm. Venue: Kidz Discovery, The Drive, Camps Bay. Cost: free. Contact Kathy: 083 654 2494, info@kidzdiscovery. co.za or visit kidzdiscovery.co.za Me-time open day There is a jumping castle and craft activities. Books and children’s clothing are on sale. Highlights

include free tasting of the new party menu and a free puppet show at 11am. 12 November. Time: 10am–2pm. Venue: Me-time Centre, Green Point, 8 Somerset Lane, Somerset Square. Cost: free. Contact: 021 418 1573 Roly Polyz Full art activity introducing spindle art for you to go and create your own masterpiece. Roly Polyz is now air-

7 November – Baby Jake premieres

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Delheim MTB Day A mountain bike event for the whole family, with a 7km lap for children and 12km and 24km routes for mom and dad, in aid of the Anna Foundation.

Ideal for children 6 and older. 20 November. Time: registration at 7am. Venue: Delheim Wine Estate, Knorhoek Rd, Stellenbosch.

Cost: from R50. Contact Nicolene: 021 884 4752, theteam@dirtopia.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za

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conditioned. Time: 10am–5pm, Wednesday –Sunday. Venue: 8 Bree Street. Cost: R65 per canvas. Contact: 021 418 1818 or 072 625 4649 Scratch Patch Simon’s Town: Dido Valley Rd. Open Monday–Friday 8:30am–4:45pm, Saturday and Sunday 9am–5:30pm.

Contact: 021 786 2020. V&A Waterfront: Dock Rd. Open 9am–6pm daily. Contact: 021 419 9429 or visit scratchpatch.co.za

sport and physical activities Junior Triathlon Challenge Children take part in a triathlon, even if they have never attempted one before. Junior Challenge is focused on fun, not first place. The idea is to introduce children to the sport in a relaxed environment. Every child receives a medal at the end of the race. Run 300m, cycle 2,5km and run 1km. For children 6–12 years. 5 November. Time: registration opens 9am, event starts 12pm. Venue: Quay Four, V&A Waterfront. Cost: R150 per child. For more info: visit challengecapetown.com Move For Your Health 6km fun walk The event encourages primary school children to participate, but children under 9 years must be supervised by an adult. There is prize money up for grabs in the Schools’ Mass Participation Competition where the schools with the highest percentage of learners participating in relation to the total number of learners in the school are rewarded. For a six-week training programme for the 6km event, visit ssisa.com. 6 November.

Time: starts 6:45am. Venue: WPCC, Rondebosch. Contact: 021 659 5649 or move4health@ssisa.com

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House, 5 Oakvale Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: R900 per person or R1 500 per couple.

Contact Dr Sarah-Jane Knight: 079 422 5118 or drsarahjaneknight@gmail.com Weekday Personal Mastery Through Art workshops Access your true potential through discussion, reflection, drawing, painting and collage-making. Facilitated by a life coach. Time: 9am–2pm; call to enquire when the workshops are being held. Venue: Welgelegen. Cost: R580 per person. Contact Lisa: 072 972 5568 or Theo: 072 359 7958

on stage and screen

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Clay Café Choose from an array of unfired bisque and a wide selection of colourful paints to create crockery with your personal touch. The Clay Café staff will assist you with painting techniques.

Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Friday and 9:30am–4pm, Saturday and Sunday.

Venue: Hout Bay. Cost: R85 for one item, which includes paint and all the clay-work facilities. Contact: 021 790 3318 or visit chasms.co.za Discipline for peace workshops A series of four workshops teaching positive discipline skills relevant to children of all ages. 3,10, 17 and 24 November. Time: 7:30pm–10pm. Venue: Phyllis Jowell Jewish Day School, 14 Chilworth Rd, Camps Bay. Cost: R920 per person, R1 600 per couple.

Contact Karen: 021 696 1946, sms 076 303 5324 or karoy@mweb.co.za Domestic cooking class Basic cooking classes and a demo of three to four healthy family meals as well as a baking session. 4 November. Time: 9:30am–12pm. Venue: Durbanville. Cost: call to enquire. Contact: 073 227 3404 or lisab@littlecooksclub.co.za Ideas for school holiday workshop Great ideas for parents to play with your 3–9 year olds. 26 November. Time: 10am–11:30am. Venue: 11 Middleton Rd, Claremont. Cost: R80. Contact: rlighton@ mweb.co.za or visit reneelighton.co.za My Nanny and Me creative workshop Your au pair, childminder or nanny learns new and creative ways of spending time with your child. Ideal for carers of children aged 10 months–5 years. 9 November.

Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Me-time Centre, Somerset Square, Green Point. Cost: R150 for carer and child. Contact: 021 418 1573 or visit me-time.co Nice Touch nanny cooking classes Four week course. Starts 8 November.

Time: 9am–1pm, every Tuesday.

Venue: St James Church Hall, Sea Point. Cost: R1 250 for course.

Contact Janis: 021 434 1721, 082 319 9215 or visit nicetouch.co.za Sugar and Spice Nanny Training Empower your domestic worker with all the practical skills, essential knowledge and real confidence

FNB Whisky Live Festival 2–4 November. Time: 6pm–10pm daily. Venue: Cape Town International Convention Centre, Convention Square, 1 Lower Long St. Cost: R100–R550. For more info: visit whiskylivefestival.co.za

she needs to take care of your baby. The course runs over four weeks, with one session per week. Time: 1 November: course starts in Panorama, 2pm–5pm, every Tuesday. 10 November: course starts in Blaauwberg, 1:30pm–4:30pm, every Thursday. 16 November: course starts in Claremont, 1:30pm–4:30pm, every Wednesday. 18 November: course starts in Green Point, 9am–12pm, every Friday.

Cost: call to enquire. Contact Caithe: 071 366 4725, caithe@nannytraining.co.za or visit nannytraining.co.za The Resilient Child workshops The topic is Strengthening Attachment and Trust. The workshop is open to parents of children under 8 years old. 5 November.

Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Constellation

Catch with Shirley Kirchmann Meet Tallulah. She’s 32, single and all her married friends keep trying to hook her up – not because they care about her, but because they don’t like to suffer alone. Ends 5 November.

Time: 8:30pm, Wednesday–Saturday. Venue: Kalk Bay Theatre. Cost: R115. Contact: 073 220 5430 or visit kbt.co.za Crazy Diamond This Tribute to Pink Floyd is an electrifying multi-dimensional show, which received rave reviews in the past two years. Taking centre stage in this production is Mel Botes, one of South Africa’s most talented guitarists and songwriters.

7 November. Time: 8pm. Venue: Barnyard Theatre, Willowbridge. Cost: R130. For more info: visit barnyardtheatre.co.za Madame Zingara Theatre of Dreams, the grande dame of burlesque, is a unique dinner cirque spectacular that enchants, captivates and inspires all who pass through her stained glass doors and enter her magical world. Ends 31 December. For more details and to book, contact: 0861 623 263 or visit madamezingara.com Rose Red A moving story told through the eyes of the Evil Queen from the fairytale Snow White, which follows a highly successful run at the National Arts Festival this year. Rose Red is a well-known story turned on its head by trying to discover how Snow White’s evil stepmother became a stepmother and how did she become evil? 9 November–10 December. Time: 8:30pm, Wednesday–Saturday. Venue: Kalk Bay Theatre. Cost: R85, R115 and R180.

For more info: visit kbt.co.za Seasonal Changes Dance Crew, in association with AGBS and their outreach training programmes, provides a selection of dance works that include Sleeping Beauty wedding scene solos and pas de deux.

25–27 November. Time: 8pm, Friday and Saturday; 3pm, Sunday. Venue: TheatreOn-Main Tokai. Cost: R70. Contact: 021 715 9510, info@theatreonmain.co.za or visit theatreonmain.co.za The Beauty of Invisible Things The production centres around an office clerk stuck in a dead-end job. Increasingly desperate and feeling trapped, he embarks on a journey to fight for his independence and identity within a stifling corporation.

Featuring non-verbal theatre, the production promises to be an intriguing blend of physical and visual performance. 8–19 November. Time: 8pm. Venue: Intimate Theatre, 37 Orange St, Gardens. Contact Angela: 021 448 2838 or angela@fthk.co.za Villa Pascal 4 November Shey Afro Latino: enjoy the performance of Congolese singer, magazine cape town

songwriter, pianist, percussionist and guitarist; R60. 5 November Zharia Desert Rose Belly Dance Studios: performs and raises funds for the Cart Horse Protection Association; R120. 11 November Latté Funk: Portuguese singer, songwriter, guitarist Rui Santos brings his Latino and African flavour; R70. 16–19, 23 and 30 November Summer Rock: a night of tribute songs; R80. 26 November The Tomboys: Classic Rock by The Tomboys, a very popular band from the ’60s and ’70s and one of South Africa’s oldest surviving rock bands; R90. Venue is not licensed for food or drinks so you are welcome to bring a picnic basket. Time: 7pm. Venue: 28 Van der Westhuizen St, Valmary Park, Durbanville. Contact: 021 975 2566, 082 569 4147, info@villapascal.co.za or visit villapascal.co.za

out and about Free wine tasting at Old Cape Wine Shop With just under 1 000 bottles on the shelves, only the best wine and bubbly make the grade. Time: 11am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Old Cape Wine Shop, Imhoff Farm. Cost: free. Contact: 021 783 5054, info@ocws.co.za and for details of November’s tasting calendar visit imhofffarm.co.za Learn Africa, Love Africa Festival The African Arts Institute presents a unique series of events featuring an all-African lineup of monthly music parties, film nights and art talks. Ends 13 December. Time: varies. Venue: varies. Cost: R30. Contact: 021 465 9027, info@afai.org.za or visit africanartsinstitute.org.za/projects Zapiro: Jiving with Madiba exhibition Jonathan Shapiro’s tribute to Mandela is the largest ever of Zapiro’s work, and celebrates the life and contributions of South Africa’s greatest citizen. Ends 27 November. Venue: SA Jewish Museum, Gardens. Cost: adults R15, free for children under 16. For more info: visit sajewishmuseum.co.za

9 November–10 December – Rose Red

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support groups Cape Town Counselling Drug Centre For outpatient care, contact: Observatory 021 447 8026 or Mitchell’s Plain: 021 391 0216, ctdcc@iafrica.com or visit drugcentre.org.za Cleft Friends South Africa Aims to be a friend to parents and children with cleft lip and palate by meeting them as soon as possible after birth, supporting them emotionally through the various operations, and connecting them with healthcare professionals in their area.

Contact Madge: 084 517 9914, madge@ cleftfriends.co.za or visit cleftfriends.co.za Overeaters Anonymous OA views compulsive overeating as a threefold disease: physical, emotional and spiritual. Members seek recovery on all three levels by following a 12-step programme patterned after that of Alcoholics Anonymous. The goal is to abstain from compulsive overeating one day at a time, which is done by attending regular OA meetings. Contact Sharon: 082 973 3099, Lisa: 074 143 1306 or visit oa.org.za Pierre Robin Sequence Foundation A non-profit organisation raising awareness of the condition. Contact Leigh: 082 410 3197, info@pierrerobin.org.za, visit pierrerobin.org.za or visit the Pierre Robin Sequence Foundation Facebook group RTS South Africa This website brings together South African parents who have children with Rubinstein Taybi syndrome.

Contact Jacqui: 084 666 9566, rts. southafrica@gmail.com or visit rtssouthafrica.weebly.com Williams Syndrome Association of South Africa Contact Magda: 084 574 2926 (only when in SA), +264 63 225 926 or +264 81 4707 362. Contact Tanja: 082 778 8429, williamsyndromesa@iway.na and cc Magda Coetzee: williamsyndromesa@ gmail.com or visit williams-syndrome.co.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Home-birth gathering A support group For anyone interested in home birth. It is also for those whose home births did not go as they had wished. They also welcome midwives who attend home births and those who have supported mothers giving birth at home (partners and doulas). The theme for this gathering is The Basic Needs of a Woman in Labour. There is a speaker, a short film on home birth and an opportunity to meet and speak to midwives, doulas and others who have had home births or are planning to. 27 November. Time: 2pm–4pm. Venue: Erin Hall, Erin Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: R50 per person, R80 for two. Contact Ruth: 021 780 9510, 078 557 9070 or ruth@homebirth.org. za; Lana: 021 703 4291, 073 514 9754 or doulalana@vodamail.co.za or visit homebirth.org.za Parent Centre moms-to-be and moms-and-babies group Time: 10am–12pm, every Thursday. Venue: Kingsbury Maternity Hospital, 2nd floor, Wilderness Rd, Claremont. Cost: R40, including refreshments. Contact: 021 762 0116 or zaiboe@theparentcentre.org.za

playtime and story time Jimmy Jungles Secure facilities for toddlers and children from 6 months of age. Time: 9am, Monday–Sunday (closing hours differ for branches. Venue: Branches in Claremont and Tyger Valley. Cost: R50, 5 percent discount for 2 children, 10 percent discount for 3 or more children, children under 12 months are free. Contact head office: 021 914 1705 or info@ jimmyjungles.co.za

Spring Fab Bridal Fair 26 and 27 November. Time: 9am–5:30pm, Saturday; 9am–5pm, Sunday. Venue: CTICC. Cost: adults R70, free for children under 12 years. For more info: visit fabbridal.co.za

Kloof Street Library toddler story time Time: 9:30am–10am, every Tuesday for children 0–2 years old, with Afrikaans thrown in. Contact: 021 424 3308 Observatory Library story time Every Wednesday for children 1–4 years. Time: 11am–11:30am. Venue: Station Rd. Cost: free. Contact: 021 447 9017 Planet Kids baby play date For moms and dads with 6–12 month olds to socialise.

Time: 10am–12pm, Friday mornings.

Venue: 3 Wherry Rd, Muizenberg. Cost: 6–9 months free, 10–12 month olds charged R20–R22 for a once-off session (depending on their age) or R67–R86 for a monthly card of four two-hour sessions. As they only charge from 10 months old, the younger babies and their parents can enter free. Contact: 021 788 3070 or visit planetkids.co.za Roly Polyz Roly Polyz is now air-conditioned and a soft play area is available for babies.

Time: 10am–5pm, Wednesday–Sunday.

Venue: 8 Bree St. Cost: call to enquire.

Contact: 021 418 1818 or 072 625 4649 Tots play groups Nannies and moms may accompany toddlers in the group, which introduces toddlers to the structure of school in a nurturing and warm environment. Time: 9am–12pm, Monday–Saturday. Venue: Me-time Centre, Green Point, 8 Somerset Lane, Somerset Square. Cost: R130 per class or buy a package of classes at R115 per class. Contact: 021 418 1573

support groups Host a Mo Party this Movember Host it in your workplace, town, sports club or in the great outdoors to celebrate your Movember journey. They send you everything you need to get started and you can crown your own Man of Movember and Miss Movember 2011. The Movember movement supports men who have been affected by diseases, such as prostate cancer. The official charities are Cansa and the Movember Foundation. For more info: visit http://za.movember.com

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Cape Town Adoption Support movie club After the screening of a movie, the group discusses the adoption themes emerging from the film. Booking essential.

15 November. Time: 5:30pm–8pm.

Venue: Lecture Theatre LS1A, Leslie Social Science Building, University of Cape Town.

Cost: R50. Contact Jean: ct.adoption. support@gmail.com

La Leche League’s breast-feeding support groups Panorama: 7 November, contact Carol: 021 558 5319 or Irma: 084 258 8203. Durbanville: 15 November, contact Trudy: 021 913 2816 or Tiffany: 021 913 3586. Parow: 16 November, contact Dilshaad: 021 930 2475. Milnerton Medi-Clinic: 1 November (9:30am), contact Juliet: 021 556 0693. Parklands Intercare: 23 November (10:30am), contact Simela: 021 553 1664. Meetings in Rondebosch, Fish Hoek, Paarl and Malmesbury: contact Juliet: 021 556 0693. Most meetings start at 10am, entry is free and pregnant and nursing mothers are welcome to attend Moms of prems and high-risk pregnancies group A support group for moms of prems and expectant mothers with high-risk pregnancies. Every second week a guest speaker gives a short presentation on topics such as breastfeeding, developmental stimulation, nesting and positioning, speech and language stimulation and baby massage.

Time: 10am–12pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Kingsbury Hospital maternity ward waiting lounge. Cost: R40, including refreshments.

Contact: celestial2701@gmail.com

how to help Christine Revell Children’s Home They provide full-time care for up to 49 babies and children from birth to 5 years of age, who have been referred to them by social workers and placed there by order of a children’s court. The home always needs volunteers and donations and currently seeks further funding for tiling the passage, the baby dormitory and playroom. Contact: 021 697 1748, 021 697 5579 (social worker), info@ crch.co.za or visit crch.co.za Durbanville Children’s Home annual golf day Support the Durbanville Children’s magazine cape town

Home by showing off your golfing talents.

Sign up for the four-ball or sponsor a hole, or alternatively make a financial donation.

All the funds generated will go towards covering urgent needs like purchasing single bed mattresses, school clothes and food parcels for the children to take home.

25 November. Time: 10am. Venue: Bellville Golf Club. Cost: R2 800 for a four-ball, R2 000 to sponsor a hole and R3 500 for a practice green. Special offer: for a four-ball and a hole R3 500. Entry fee includes an opportunity to win prizes to the value of more than R20 000, a goody bag and a prize-giving dinner. Contact Elsa: 021 975 6822, ebotha@durbanvillekinderhuis.org.za or visit durbanvillekinderhuis.org.za I am Special This is a registered nonprofit, non-governmental organisation. Their focus is on the children from deprived and underprivileged communities where the social and home life is not what most of us take for granted. Their curriculum contains basic foundational skills that promote selfconfidence, independence and a sense of empowerment. Exercises include life skills, social skills, language and maths, selfupliftment and problem solving exercises, creative arts and interaction by means of games and stories. Their aim remains to teach these children acceptable social behaviour, manners, discerning authority, relating to peers, self respect, love and surrounding awareness. You can sponsor a child for R100 a month. To find out more on how to sponsor a child or how to get involved: visit iamspecial.org.za

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

Christine Revell Children’s Home

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to lucille@childmag.co.za or fax it to 021 462 2680. Information must be received by 4 November for the December/January issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published.

To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

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last laugh

the good loser SAM WILSON prides herself on her non-competitive style of play.

But her family says this deprives them of the joy of beating her.

i

am an exceptionally good loser. My older brother, Quentin, would say it’s because I have such an incredible swathe of stuff to be good at losing at... and he’d be right. Quentin, is one of the most coordinated people on the planet, and he has been comprehensively beating me at an unimaginably broad range of games, from tennis to tiddlywinks, for over 35 years now.

Unfortunately for him, I was his only sibling for many years and we didn’t have a spill of cousins to play with. On the upside, he did teach himself to be ambidextrous, simply so he didn’t have to gnaw on his own squash racquet in boredom while playing against me. And I learnt to lose with a smile, hell, often even a laugh, because I loved playing with Quent. Also, in all fairness, he was pretty damn good.

This is probably why I just don’t get parents who have to beat their children

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when playing games against them. “But it’ll teach them character,” earnest parents tell me. “And then, when they do finally win – they’ll know they did it by themselves, properly, and without being given any special treatment.”

Funnily enough, you never hear anyone applauding their children for learning to eat with a knife and a fork all by themselves, “without special treatment”, or teaching themselves to read “without any of that Jack and Jill nonsense”. Nope, it’s an argument curiously just reserved for games.

I am not saying I am lacking any competitiveness, but I have never really understood competition for competition’s sake. Sure it’s nice to win, but I just can’t get myself to feel horrified when I lose at a game I was taking part in just because I enjoyed it.

Of course, this leads to other problems in my family. It’s no fun playing against

someone who honestly doesn’t care if they win or lose, as was underlined for me during a family Sunday at our house.

“You know what’s even more annoying than the way you don’t mind losing?” asked my son, Josef, after we were finishing up a marathon session of Risk. “The way you win like it was just one of many possible outcomes. It’s like the smuggest smugginess of all smuggery.”

“I know!” exploded Quent. “Isn’t she the worst, most insufferable winner ever?”

Huh? Here I thought I was a veritable paragon of non-competitiveness, when – apparently – I had just found another way to win: by not letting anyone else enjoy the fight. So I’m not the world’s best loser then.

Clearly, it’s hard to dissect one’s own gamesmanship; and one woman’s nonchalance is another’s brain-squeezing irritation. Clearly the answer, as with most

things (annoyingly enough), lies somewhere in the middle.

But that doesn’t make sense to me either. How can someone be reasonably competitive? And if that is the goal, it’s definitely not what we are teaching in mainstream schools or on our national sports fields.

It’s a poser, and an important one – because teaching children to play nicely is the clear precursor to teaching them to interact respectfully with others. But that’s the bigger board game strategy. My more immediate tactics just involve me letting Quent and Joe play against each other for a bit instead.

Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24.com, Parent24.com and Food24.com. And no, she is not available to join your poker evenings. She has seen that movie before.

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PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth

Joe, Sam and Benj