Child Magazine | Cape Town September 2010

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Cape Town’s

September 2010 Issue 73 Circulation 45 228

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

www.childmag.co.za

growing

bookworms

how to encourage a love for reading

spring into

action

✢ building connection through family rituals ✢ ecofriendly projects for children ✢ spring-clean and donate health

education

entertainment

Hunter House

We have just moved house, again!

PUB L IS H ING

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

As many of you’ll agree, moving is not for the faint-hearted. But the upside is that it gives you the opportunity to re-organise your belongings, which can, in effect, re-define your life. Deep thoughts, perhaps, for one who’s somewhat sleep deprived and still surrounded by a mountain of cardboard.

Looking at all the boxes I can’t help wondering what it is that I really need – more cupboard space or fewer summer dresses, swimming towels and soccer balls? I’ve lived without much of what still needs to be unpacked for a year now – it’s all been in storage – so why can’t I simply carry on without these things?

Which is why I so love this month’s resource: spring-clean and donate (see page 38). I will be keeping it handy as I follow my organiser’s tips and empty the boxes into Keep, Throw and Donate piles. It feels good to be simplifying my life and enhancing someone else’s.

Give it a try, and see if you discover, like I have: that springcleaning is as good for your soul as it is for your home!

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Elaine Eksteen • elaine@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za Copy Editors Nikki Benatar Debbie Hathway

Art Senior Designer Samantha Summerfield • sam@childmag.co.za Designers Mariette Barkhuizen • mariette@childmag.co.za Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za

Advertising Director Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

Client Relations Client Relations Manager Michele Jones • michele@childmag.co.za Client Relations Consultant

Cape Town’s ChildTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box

Lisa Waterloo • capetown@childmag.co.za

12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios, cnr Wesley

To Subscribe Helen Xavier • subs@childmag.co.za

and Canterbury Streets, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 021 465 6093, fax: 021 462 2680, email: capetown@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Cape Town’s ChildTM. We

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Accounts Helen Xavier • helen@childmag.co.za Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

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Free requested Apr 10 – Jun 10

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September 2010

contents

september 2010

upfront 3

a note from lisa

6

ver to you o readers respond

10 reader’s blog

F adia Gamieldien discovers just who Ronaldo is

20

13 s neezing season Marina Zietsman explains how to treat hay fever

features 16 gimme more

racy Ellis on the challenge of raising T children not sold out to materialism

regulars 8

20 c ollect, create and cultivate! ecofriendly projects for children. By Chareen Boake 24 page turners

t ips for getting our children to love reading. By Elaine Eksteen 26 creating traditions

onna Cobban discusses the D value in family rituals

wins

11 u pfront with paul Paul Kerton wonders why we struggle to communicate in the 21st century

26

28 i ntelligent eating Lucille Kemp deciphers the labels on food packaging 14 dealing with difference

Lisa Witepski on deafness

28 32 o ff to camp, minus mom or dad questions to ask before booking your child into a holiday camp.

By Glynis Horning 34 t he better connection Elaine Eksteen gives ideas for how you and your partner can get back the closeness you once had

38 r esource: spring-clean and donate Lucille Kemp looks at organisations that will benefit from your pre-loved goods 44 a good read

new books for the whole family 46 what’s on in september 58 l ast laugh Sam Wilson plans to use her brain less and her feet more

classified ads

health 12 drool school

Donna Cobban on easing your baby’s teething woes

50 family marketplace 55 it’s party time

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

Mini A Ture from andreab.co.za

September 2010

thinkstockphotos.com

Malou Barre from andreab.co.za.

Cape Town’s

Cape Town’s

September 2010

letters

over to you health

Child Magazine the best

thank you A hearty thank you to Child Magazine and Le Creuset for the super Le Creuset roasting pan I received as my prize. I was thrilled to be a winner. It made my day! I have already tested it and will enjoy it for years to come. Please delivered the prize (with a smile) right to my door – fantastic! Thank you too for a terrific and informative magazine.

Marina Muhlberg

LUCILLE KEMP looks at eczema in babies.

e

czema starts out as an itchy skin irritation that when scratched becomes a rash. When scratching continues or the inflammation is exacerbated by external

maintenance plan

factors such as allergens, the area will flare up into a red and burning rash, that can then become scaly. When infected, it will appear as pus-filled blisters that may ooze or become crusty. Eczema mostly appears

powder and cow’s milk to scratchy clothing and dry, winter weather. Parents should try to control the child’s environment where possible and alleviate the symptoms.

Scratching can cause more issues

on children’s cheeks and scalps, the joints of their arms and legs, necks, back of the

(such as infection) than the eczema itself so help your child understand that although

arms, the inside of elbows, the front of the legs and torso. This is called atopic or

scratching may feel good momentarily, it will make things worse in the long run. Also,

allergic eczema and “is the most common

keep your child’s nails short and clean. For babies you may consider placing mittens on their hands. An antihistamine can be effective for relieving itchiness.

Use a perfume-free, soothing and intense moisturiser to wash your baby instead of soap, and apply the cream before putting them to bed. On this note,

dermatologicrelief condition in children,” says Dr eczema

Denga Makhado, a Johannesburg-based dermatologist. “The gene that causes atopic eczema is also responsible for asthma and allergies,” she explains. Bloemfontein-based dermatologist Dr Deon Rautenbach also says, “Most eczema cases, however, are

A child’s eczema may be triggered by anything from soaps, moisturisers, sweat and allergens such as dust mites, washing

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

Thanks for running the article “the itch you can’t scratch” in the August issue of Child Magazine. I have a 19month-old son who was first exposed to corticosteroid mild and don’t warrant medical treatment, “Be wary of expensive cosmetic creams at just three monthsKara ofsays:age.

He would break just moisturising.” creams – they cost a fortune and do little more than cheap emollient creams.” out burning in eczema leaving his little face inflamed and it issue Keep your child’s body at a lower your child hashis severeinner eczema,elbows, you’ll temperature alsoIf affected whichwithheloose-fitting would cotton scratch know that the big issue is treatment. clothing; use a dust-mite-proof mattress Steroid therapy is an acceptable treatment wash clothes using non-biological continuously, until the skin andbled.

It broke my heart but overuse of corticosteroid cream washing powder. can cause him stunted suffer growth in like infants. this.

A Some experts believe treatments, it helps to watching I tried many good clinician will always consider the breastfeed your baby for at least the which would to sixthree then benefits of treatinghelp eczema for versus two the first months ofhours, their lives, and delay the risks relating to corticosteroids. Durbanthe introduction of solids. If you are eczema would flare up again. based paediatrician Dr Yatish Kara breastfeeding, food allergies may be says: “I prescribe a mild one-percent responsible for your child’s flare ups so Two months wasawayatfrom thecow’s brink of giving hydrocortisone for shortago, periods when of time.” I steer milk, peanuts, However, this is as a last line of defence. eggs, soy, wheat and citrus fruits. If you up, “II try decided to try homeopathic medication.

I found emollient creams first, as eczema aren’t breastfeeding and your child doesn’t often improves with skin hydration. Also, have a cow’s-milk allergy, you could use a cream from Spain, which aconsists of aloe vera and the bacteria in eczema secrete a toxin that hypoallergenic, partially hydrolysed irritates skin and aggravatesIt eczema, I formula. Then, of course, and it is advised lavender extracts. hasso worked miracles is safe suggest an antibacterial cream.” that you protect your child from tobacco steroid-wary parents, Rautenbach exposure to prevent allergic conditions. to useForon infants.

With just two applications my baby’s and Kara recommend immunosuppressant The good news is that, according to medicationto (calcineurin Makhado,his “mostskin children moisturised will outgrow skintopical started heal.inhibitors), It leaves which don’t contain steroids but have an eczema and the symptoms become less and anti-inflammatory hydratedeffectand, unlike cortisones, can be used and relieve itching. and less as they grow older.”

Cape Town’s frequently, day or night. There is a cure out there with no side effects.

Shabnam Sahib CT Excema 2.indd 13

help a child in need Johannesburg Child Welfare is desperate for families to care for children with special needs. We are very concerned about the children with mental and/or physical disabilities that are being placed in our care. Many of the children coming into the system at the moment have major disabilities, both mental and physical. Finding adoptive parents or foster homes for these children is extremely difficult. The reality is that it is more challenging to take care of a child with special needs, and there are often more costs involved for doctors and medication.

Another major challenge for us is finding homes for HIV-positive children. Parents are afraid of taking a child into their home only to lose him or her soon after.

As a result, many of these children end up in institutions and, while these centres offer excellent care, children who spend long periods of time in them can run the risk of becoming institutionalised and may struggle to develop relationships later in life. These institutions are also being flooded and placement for these children becomes more difficult as a result.

The reality is that the average adopter who comes forward is looking for a “healthy” child and cannot easily be persuaded to care for a child with an illness or disability. We would like to make a special appeal for families who will take care of these children.

2010 13 Johannesburg For more information, pleaseAugust contact Child Welfare on 011 298 8500 or communications@ jhbchildwelfare.org.za 7/16/10 4:28:21 PM

power in knowing Parents don’t need professional assessments to

all an overwhelming challenge for him. Despite this,

know that their beautiful child is different. But

and with lots of love from family and teachers, he

when the report arrives, after years of questioning

perseveres at his mainstream pre-school and at

and wondering, it offers a sense of relief. Finally a

playgrounds and parties.

parent’s intuition is confirmed – given a name, a diagnosis, a reality.

and I need to become experts and make life-altering

Could someone please advise schools that offer to nurture our children into cultured, mature, independent thinkers to consider including their whereabouts in their adverts, as it is fairly crucial to be able to get the children there in the mornings!

For us moms who are slightly technologically challenged and do not whip onto google earth on our cellphones the minute we see an advert, the written word would be appreciated. I will just have to stick to the school my children currently attend, since at least I know where to find it.

Slightly deranged mother about to do another few hours of VAT recons!

And then the tears flow. Tears for the hardship

decisions for our little child. Remedial school or

that your beautiful child has faced already, tears

mainstream? Which mainstream school? Should

for the wrong decisions already made, tears for

we use a facilitator? Or just an OT? Or physio too?

the impatience shown towards a child genuinely

Should he stay back a year in pre-school? Should

write to us

struggling and not being lazy, and tears for a care-

we home school? It feels very lonely facing these

We would like to know what’s on your mind.

free childhood that will never be quite care-free.

decisions, especially when they are constantly

Send your letters to: marina@childmag.co.za

Our five-year-old has been diagnosed with

going round and round in my head. I would love to

or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve

various learning difficulties, basically stemming

meet other parents in similar situations and be able

the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

from an inadequate vestibular and proprioceptive

to share their stories and advice.

system. Writing, drawing, swimming, building blocks, riding bicycles, doing puzzles – these are

But where to from here? Suddenly my husband

directions, please

September 2010

With thanks for the great articles.

Caroline

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Cape Town’s

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

the itch you can’t scratch

also pass on my thanks to Berco Express, who

I am a first time mom to a 16-month-old boy. Your magazine is excellent and I can’t wait to get hold of my copy each month – I sit down with a cup of tea and read it from cover to cover.

Your topics are well researched and easy to read and understand. Sam Wilson and Paul Kerton are writers of a different calibre and they make reading your magazine more enjoyable.

I lend the magazine to family each month and they enjoy it as much as I do. Keep up the great work and I look forward to many more Child Magazines in the future.

Fathima Vaid

feature

Cape Town’s

September 2010

wins

giveawaysin september out and about Situated just three hours’ drive from Cape Town, the 36 000-hectare De Hoop conservation area is a World Heritage Site that is characterised by rich biodiversity and rare species of fynbos that lead down to an unspoilt coastline. A 19-kilometre vlei stretches across the reserve and is home to many species of birdlife.

The three nautical miles of De Hoop Marine Reserve beyond the shoreline offer some of the best whaleviewing in the world. For more information contact 0861 334 667, info@dehoopcollection.co.za or visit dehoopcollection.co.za One reader of Cape Town’s Child stands a chance to win a three-night stay for six people sharing valued at R5 520. This prize is for mid-week accommodation only. To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with ‘De Hoop Win’ in the subject line or post your entry to De Hoop Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 30 September 2010. Only one entry per reader.

Note: by entering this competition you agree to Hunter House Publishing passing on your contact details to the De Hoop Collection and/or their agents, and you may receive marketing communication from them, as a result.

funky furniture Think of the most comfortable chair you’ve ever sat in – then try out a FatSak. This combination of beanbag and couch is both fun and unbelievably comfortable because it’s filled with foam (not beans or polystyrene balls). There are four sizes of FatSak to choose from, and the covers are removable and machine washable – so no need to worry about grubby fingers. Fabric to choose from includes corduroy, suede and faux fur. To order online or find a retailer in your area, contact 0861 999 122 or visit fatsak.co.za One reader of Cape Town’s Child stands a chance to win a medium FatSak valued at R3 650. To enter, go to the website, fatsak.co.za, click on ‘Win a FatSak’ and enter your details before 30 September 2010.

chime after chime

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

Mexican Bolas rest on your pregnant tummy and provide soothing sounds that comfort and relax your baby. The bolas make a special chime as you move and can be heard by your baby from about 20 weeks. For more information visit fromwombtoworld.co.za You could be one of four readers of Cape Town’s Child to win a Mexican Bola valued at R300. To enter, email your details to win@ childmag.co.za with ‘Mexican Bola CT win’ in the subject line or post your entry to Mexican Bola CT win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 30 September 2010. Only one entry per reader.

September 2010

Cape Town’s

parenting guide Toddler Sense is a must-have guide for negotiating the tricky toddler years. Toddler Sense holds countrywide seminars to equip parents for managing the toddler years, including topics such as nutrition, potty training, sleep and discipline.

The seminars are hosted by baby and toddler expert Sister Ann Richardson, the best selling author of Toddler Sense and co-author of Baby Sense and Sleep Sense. For more information visit toddlersense.co.za One reader of Cape Town’s Child stands a chance to win the Toddler Sense book valued at R150 and a ticket to a Toddler Sense workshop valued at R290. To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with ‘Toddler Sense CT win’ in the subject line or post your entry to Toddler Sense CT win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010, before 30 September 2010. Only one entry per reader.

soothe the pain Baltic amber necklaces are made for your baby to wear when he is teething. Allopathic medicine recognises Baltic amber for its anti-inflammatory and therapeutic qualities, which ease pain and calm a baby – the active ingredient is released when the amber is warmed by the skin. For more information contact Nicky: 083 650 0279, nicky@lovebugproducts.co.za or visit lovebugproducts.co.za One reader of Cape Town’s Child stands to win Baltic Amber Raw Nugget Beads valued at R220 including postage. To enter, email your details to win@childmag. co.za with ‘Lovebug CT win’ in the subject line or post your entry to Lovebug CT win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 30 September 2010. Only one entry per reader.

congratulations to our June/July winners Nicole Heitor, Toni Stein and Zaibunesa Arai who each win a fully-kitted out Zakumi; Heidi Swart who wins outfits for her child from Hush Clothing; Carey Loy, Lisa Brown, Helen White, Madeleine Le Feuvre and Jacky Samuels who each win a Kiids Boutique clothing voucher and Shaul Freedman, Andrea Nel and Omesh Parshotam who each win a NewU Fitness First Mind Body game.

Cape Town’s

September 2010

blog

who’s Ronaldo? hen my son, Tanzeel, asked me in January if I thought he could enter the McDonald’s Player Escort competition for the upcoming 2010 FIFA World Cup, I was torn between encouraging him to give it a shot, versus trying to put him off because it sounded like too much work.

In the end, we went ahead. We pondered why he wanted to win, and what it would mean to him. Between February and March he took a handful of forms whenever he was at the store.

Some we filled in, some he distributed to friends, and some I secretly threw away.

One Saturday, at a noisy swimming gala, I received a call to say Tanzeel had been chosen to be an escort. I was amazed. Ayoba! The news remained top secret until we received the paperwork and then we all got really excited…

We had not bought any game tickets, but certainly got into the spirit of things.

Soccer Fridays were right up our alley – we had (still do) the flags, the mirror socks, the bumper stickers, bandanas, you name it!

10

September 2010

Tanzeel was selected for the 1:30pm match between Portugal and Korea DPR on 21 June in Cape Town, one day before his 8th birthday – how great a present is that? Since only one parent was allowed to accompany the escort we agreed that Dad would go, while Mom, little sister and our extended family would try to find a big screen TV on which to watch the match. We hoped to catch just a glimpse of him in his little yellow jacket as the camera zoomed in on the soccer players singing their anthems.

kick off Come match day it was stormy. The sleepy but excited child and dad left early, and the secretive day began. I made sure the identification bracelets were on his leg and arm, phone numbers memorised, drill on good behaviour given, lots of kisses and hugs shared, and off they went.

My dilemma was where to watch the match. In the end we went to a mall. I was

accompanied by my parents, daughter, sister and nephews and we agreed to have lunch there and indulge in some retail therapy once the game had started.

(Is it even PC to say that?)

We were sitting there, when in the tunnel I spotted an ear I recognised – only a mom would know this – and my sister said: “Is that Cristiano Ronaldo’s hand he’s holding?”

“Can’t see anything”, I replied, “but who is Ronaldo”? (Yet another thing you don’t say in public.)

“Portugal’s captain,” I was informed.

But I was looking for my son. All of a sudden I saw his face – cool and calm, and clearly well rehearsed. My exclamations of “there’s Tanzeel!” were observed by surprised shoppers, who probably thought I was a bit too old to be a Ronaldo groupie.

One second later he was gone. I’m so proud and glad that he had the opportunity to participate in this historical event on African soil.

Cape Town’s

PHOTOGRAPH: GALLOIMAGES.COM

...asks newly-devoted soccer mom FADIA GAMIELDIEN.

upfront with paul

did you hear a word I said?

PHOTOGRAPH: JILL BADER

i

n the legendary movie Cool Hand Luke, in which Paul Newman keeps escaping from high security prison, the prison governor calls through a megaphone to a trapped, exhausted Luke: “What we have here is a failure to communicate”.

Today, despite drowning in convenient means of communication – landline, fax, email, Skype, cellphone, MMS, SMS – and perhaps because we’re drowning, we are all guilty of failing to communicate properly.

For my sins, I am in the communications business: publishing, marketing, advertising, writing. This means I am used to taking information, chopping it up and presenting it as digestible titbits to many different audiences. My CV says I am an expert.

Unfortunately, with children, experts come unstuck. Especially if you try talking to them while they are watching Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers. You may, like a prison governor, have to use a

Cape Town’s

megaphone or stand directly in front of the TV before you get any response. Even then, the reply you get will be scrambled since you are interrupting, what for them is (hopefully), rare viewing time.

Even in their most receptive moments, children only hear what they want to hear.

Say “get in the bath, now” from a distance of one metre and they will not hear.

“What did you say?” they will murmur, stalling like mad in an effort to steal one more minute on the computer.

But whisper “chocolate” to sibling one while the other is four kilometres away and sibling two, who has suddenly developed the radar of a bat, will be there like a shot.

“Did someone mention chocolate?”

crossed lines Even when they actively listen and seemingly digest what you are saying, their hearing is selective and instructions soon forgotten.

When you’ve got children life seems riddled with communication failure, says PAUL KERTON. Survival rules repeatedly etched into their brains, like “don’t run into the road”, go AWOL when an excited friend holding a puppy calls them from across the street.

Plus children automatically assume that parents know what they know; and that they don’t have to tell us anything or explain any crucial information they may be holding, as in “I have to take R200 to school tomorrow for the trip.” They daydream that they have told us things and fantasise about conversations that never happened.

Parents do a grown-up version of this during our snatched conversations as we pass in the corridors of life: the I-told-youabout–it-ages-ago routine.

“I did,” she says.

“No you didn’t.”

But she genuinely thinks she did. What happens is the brain circumvents reality.

She wanted to tell you and knew she

Paul, Sabina and Saskia

needed to tell you, but forgot, and her brain, conveniently covered for her.

My brain often covers for me too. It’s the reason writers should never be the only ones to proofread their work. Why? Because if you miss a word out your brain cheats and while you are reading it back, it knows the word that should be there and jumps over it. But on paper the word is still missing. Basically, our own body miscommunicates with us, continually.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.

September 2010

11

health

drool school DONNA COBBAN talks teething in babies and toddlers.

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September 2010

Comparing your child’s teething to another’s is futile – it’s an “unquantifiable” equation. Sister Liesel Turnbull at the Bedfordview Mother and Baby Centre says there’s no scientific evidence available to tell us why some babies and toddlers sail through teething while others seem to suffer terribly. Turnbull says that the disrupted sleep caused by teething is a huge thing, as it can disturb the whole family. “It stands to reason,” she says, “that even as adults, pain feels so much worse when everything is dark and quiet, and we are all alone. So it must be much more intense for little ones.”

When I ask Dr Murray Rushmere, a Cape Townbased GP and homeopath about supposed secondary teething symptoms, such as runny tummies and fevers, he says: “It is important to be aware that teething may temporarily compromise the immune system, so you may be looking at a secondary complicating illness, such as an ear infection.”

He adds that parents should be aware that it may take a little longer for children to recover from whatever they have while still teething.

teething tips Here’s what to do with too much drool • Keep on a cotton absorbent bib or you will be changing shirts all day.

• When your baby sleeps try putting an old-style cloth nappy under his mouth – to prevent the pillow soaking through and to keep the area as dry as possible.

Ideas for natural relief for the teething toddler • Freeze a face cloth and give it to your toddler to chew on.

• Ask the pharmacist for a homeopathic powder to rub on the gums.

• Try an amber necklace (some people swear by them).

• Freeze large chunks of fruit for your baby to suck on. Thick slices of banana or celery work well (they must be large enough so your baby won’t choke).

• Fill a dummy with water and pop it in the freezer for an hour and give it to your baby to suck on.

Cape Town’s

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

f

ifty years ago teething babies might have had a little rum rubbed along their gums to ease the pain – and that would be that. In recent years, teething has spawned an empire of associated experts and products: rings to chew on, necklaces to wear and over-the-counter lotions and potions. It’s no small wonder, therefore, that the eruption of a baby’s teeth can leave parents floundering in a sea of choices and conflicting opinions, while their baby flounders in extreme discomfort.

We are all born with teeth. The unfortunate aspect, for everyone (except the breastfeeding mother), is that these teeth lie just below the surface of the gums and emerge at unpredictable intervals, from birth (although around 4 to 6 months is the norm) through to adulthood, when wisdom teeth finally push through.

Most of the time parents can’t miss a teething baby, although the extremes of discomfort can vary widely – some drool excessively, others may tug at their ears (leading you to suspect an ear infection, which if the agitation continues should not be ruled out). The eruption of molars may be preceded by swelling along the gum line.

health

sneezing season Hay fever can be a highly irritating, and sometimes debilitating,

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

a

condition – so how can you help your child? By MARINA ZIETSMAN

ccording to the Allergy Society of South Africa (ALLSA) allergic rhinitis (the correct term for hay fever) affects almost two in 10 South Africans. “The basis of nasal allergic problems results from the interaction of common inhaled allergens with specialised cells in the nasal mucous membrane. This reaction results in the release of powerful chemical agents of which histamine is the best known,” says ALLSA. These substances cause severe swelling of the mucous membrane lining the nasal passages, intense itching of the eyes, throat and palate, sneezing and the production of copious amounts of watery mucous.

Dr Sarah Karabus, a Cape Town-based paediatrician says, “Allergic rhinitis can be seasonal – often due to various pollens that are present in the air at different times of the year – or it can be persistent, due to allergen triggers that are present year-round such as dogs, cats, birds, dust mites, moulds, fungal spores and cockroaches.” Karabus adds

Cape Town’s

that dust-mite triggers are more common in small children, while pollen allergies usually develop in the older child.

Other factors that influence the occurrence of allergic rhinitis are cigarette smoke and genetics. Children have a 30 to 60 percent chance of developing allergic rhinitis if one of their parents is affected and a 50 to 70 percent chance if both parents have allergic rhinitis. Dr Ahmed Ismail Manjra, of the Paediatric Allergy and Asthma Centre at Westville Hospital in Durban, says, “Avoid indoor smoking. It not only worsens the allergy, but is also a cause and risk factor for asthma in children.”

The best advice in treating allergic rhinitis is to avoid the triggers, but it’s not always possible to do this. The treatment for allergic rhinitis differs from that of the common cold, though the symptoms can be very similar.

“The common cold is caused by a virus, which can lead to a fever, a sore throat and a runny nose,” says Manjra, “but allergic rhinitis does not cause a fever.” A cold can last up to

10 days, while the allergy symptoms can be present continuously, says Karabus. Other than those already mentioned, “symptoms include a permanent stuffy or running nose, constant nose wiggling, wiping or pushing of the nose (called the ‘allergic salute’), red watery eyes, dark rings under the eyes, snoring and mouth breathing”. Karabus adds that if your child suffers from food allergies or eczema he could be more prone to allergic rhinitis.

If you are not sure about the triggers, you can get your child tested by an allergy specialist. This will help you know what to try and avoid: such as staying indoors on hot windy days when pollen levels peak; or avoiding pets, though Karabus admits this is often difficult to do and impractical. “Getting rid of the family pet, for example, may not help immediately – it can take up to a year for the dander, the microscopic protein that causes the allergy, levels to drop.”

Both Karabus and Manjra say that not treating allergic rhinitis, can be detrimental

to your child’s health. It can worsen asthma, cause dental problems, sinusitis and a post-nasal drip. “It can also affect a child’s sleep, reducing ability to concentrate, and thus leading to problems at school,” concludes Karabus.

“In general, treatment for toddlers and babies is the same as for adults, though certain medication cannot be taken by children,” says Karabus, who suggests using a saline spray to wash pollens out of the eyes and nose. Medical treatment includes antihistamines (oral) or nasal spray.

Allergy immunotherapy (vaccination) can also be done at specialised centres. “Speak to your health-care practitioner about what is best for your child,” advises Karabus.

September 2010

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dealing with difference

breaking the silence With early intervention, the exquisitely nuanced world of communication is well within reach of

arah Allwood, a 33-year-old mother from Somerset West, had no reason to suspect there was anything wrong with her daughter’s hearing. True, Kate had shown no response to buzz tests during her 20-week foetal assessment – but the gynae had said she was probably sleeping. A routine screening test conducted when she was two days old showed abnormalities; but the audiologist put their minds at rest, saying that the follow-up, to be conducted at 10 weeks, was essentially for their peace of mind. Since Kate responded to loud noises, and both Sarah and her husband Anthony have normal hearing, they agreed that further testing would be done simply for caution’s sake – which is why they were devastated to learn that their little girl, now two, was born profoundly deaf.

Their story is a happy one, though: as an ideal candidate for a cochlear implant, Kate’s ability to communicate has been fully restored through “bionic ears”. Her parents’ joy is clearly evident as they tell of how she sings along

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with Barney, and what it felt like when she told them she loved them for the first time. “If picked up sufficiently early, hearing loss needn’t be an issue for any child,” Anthony insists.

But that’s just the problem, says Johannesburg audiologist Fleur Bonnet. Many parents don’t realise that hearing tests (like the oto-acoustic emission test) have such high sensitivity and produce accurate results for even newborn babies. “The test should be performed, at the latest, when the child is six weeks old,” Bonnet explains.

Ruth Bourne, head of Cape Town’s Carel du Toit Centre, a school for hearing impaired children, agrees that the sooner the tests are conducted, the better.

A baby diagnosed with deafness by six months can immediately be fitted with hearing aids, and can be on a par with hearing peers by their second birthday, provided an intervention takes place as soon as hearing loss is detected.

Indeed, delayed intervention carries significant impact.

The world of silence can be an isolated one, and without the ability to communicate their wants and needs, children swiftly become frustrated. This ultimately affects their self-esteem. Moreover, because hearing loss makes communication with hearing parents tricky, children with hearing loss have difficulty acquiring speech, and this may become even more challenging if diagnosis comes when the child is older than six months.

reading cues Sue Brown* has witnessed first-hand the difficulty that children with hearing loss experience. Her son, Luc, whom she started fostering when he was three and a half weeks old, was found to be deaf at around six months. He too has

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PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

s

the hearing impaired, says LISA WITEPSKI.

a cochlear implant, and has learned to communicate with a blend of oral language, sign language and gestures. Hi Hopes, a Johannesburg group that facilitates interventions for parents of deaf children, has also been extremely beneficial to Luc’s development, says Sue. Luc has been assigned a parent advisor and a deaf mentor, providing him with a role model and building his self-esteem. Although he has made good progress in acquiring language, he is sometimes confused because without auditory skills, he is deprived of many subtle cues related to giving and receiving messages, which hearing children pick up incidentally through ambient sound.

Luc’s deafness may have been caused by any number of factors. Says Dr Phillip Pio, a Johannesburg ear nose and throat specialist, “The cause, most often, is something that occurs during the intra-uterine period.” Viruses during pregnancy may play a role, as may maternal drinking or smoking or a number of syndromes, as well as premature birth or the parents’ family history. Further risks may be posed by common childhood diseases and even certain medications. Recurring middle ear infection can cause temporary residual damage to the middle ear, so treatment and management options should be explored as soon as possible, says Bonnet.

The problem is that if parents are unaware of these risk factors, they may not know their child’s hearing has been compromised. “Parents don’t realise that even if a child can hear a loud sound, like a door slamming, they may not be able to hear very soft sounds, like those present in speech,” says Bonnet.

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Bourne concurs: “Hearing loss is an invisible challenge, so the early signs are easy to miss. Normally, you’d notice that the baby doesn’t startle at loud sounds, or may get a fright when you enter his visual range because he hasn’t heard your footsteps. Very young children may not be soothed by their parents’ voices.” Very often, though, parents dismiss such signals as “a phase”, and worry only when their child does not start talking at the appropriate stage.

Hearing loss is an invisible challenge, so the early signs are easy to miss. good news There is hope, though: with a hearing aid, many children are able to achieve hearing within the normal range, says Pio. Even profoundly deaf children can be given access to sound with a cochlear implant. But implants should not be viewed as a magic cure. These work by inserting an electrical device into the inner ear, which uses electrical impulses to stimulate the cochlear nerves in much the same way as the tiny hairs present in the ear would. This gives access to sound (although the quality will not be the same as that experienced by a hearing person). A hearing aid, on the other hand, works by amplifying sounds.

However, the implant procedure is not recommended for all children with hearing loss. Not only is it extremely

expensive, but parents must be entirely committed to the lengthy and often difficult process of habilitating children to speech that follows. For instance, Sarah and Sue speak of the intensive speech therapy their children have undergone, and mention that they are required to maintain a running commentary of every action taking place in order to foster further progress. The procedure can only be performed on children who have normally developed inner ears. All candidates for the procedure are required to have first tried a hearing aid for at least six months. This is because the tiny hair cells that convey sound will be damaged with the insertion of the electrodes. It’s therefore necessary to first ascertain that the child is completely deaf, and that hearing aids have no impact, before going ahead with the operation.

With the available interventions, a deaf child can happily attend a mainstream school, unless they have learning difficulties that make remedial classes a better option. Bourne notes, though, that schools for the deaf provide more intensive language learning programmes and the best therapeutic support for learners.

Pio and Bonnet believe that it’s a good idea to ensure that children are taught oral communication and lip reading as well as sign language, as this will smooth their transition into the hearing world. And there’s no reason why this transition shouldn’t take place smoothly: “Many of our learners have gone on to graduate from university and lead fully independent lives,” says Bourne.

The last word goes to Sue. “People often comment that Luc seems so normal. He is; he just can’t hear.”

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parenting

gimme more TRACY ELLIS looks at how materialism affects children.

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can’t buy me love On a recent shopping trip to purchase birthday gifts for my husband, my sevenyear-old son spotted a toy and asked if I would buy it for him. When I explained that this trip was about Dad, and that we were not buying anything for ourselves, he frowned and asked, “But don’t you love me too?” Needless to say we stopped right in the middle of the mall, and had a heart to heart about our love for one another having nothing to do with material possessions.

Sadly I can’t remember a shopping trip with my children that didn’t include a request for me to buy them something

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PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

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an money really buy happiness?

Some people would like to convince you it can. Dozens of adverts on billboards, television, radio and the Internet, and in newspapers and magazines, promise greater happiness and fulfilment if we just reach into our pockets and succumb to the latest and greatest purchase. With debt at an alltime high, the lines between needs and wants are blurring as we fall into the trap of measuring ourselves by the things we own and wear, perhaps even placing more value on possessions and brands than people and experiences.

– and I know I’m not alone. Our children are trained consumers, and parents these days have a hard job trying to teach them to go without things that in their young minds seem completely necessary for survival.

It doesn’t seem as though any harm could come from giving our children everything we can afford to give them.

Some parents strive to provide more for their children than they had when they were growing up. But how much is too much, and what are the side effects that are starting to emerge among this generation?

Materialism is affecting our children in many ways,” says Durban-based

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psychologist Francois Grobler. “They believe that possessions are the key to happiness and grow up envious of, and obsessed by, what other people have.

They begin to judge others by what they own and not who they are. Ultimately, what they don’t own ends up owning them.”

Johannesburg-based educational psychologist Wendy Wentzel, who consults to a private school, sees how the problems manifest. “Parents feel the need to keep up with the Joneses and children grow up with a sense of entitlement. They never have to work very hard to get what they want and unfortunately I see this spilling

When I explained that this trip was about Dad, he frowned and asked, “But don’t you love me too?” over into their achievement and progress at school. They become apathetic, lacking self-motivation and a sense of personal responsibility, believing someone else will always come to their rescue.”

role models What we model as parents is always key to our parenting. Ask yourself how content

you really are with what you have? Are you always commenting on other people’s possessions and complaining about not having enough? Children are remarkably perceptive and our attitudes to money, status, fame and wealth rub off on them.

Julie, a mom of two girls, aged four and two, believes her parents got it right.

“My parents could have given me

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parenting

everything my heart desired but they didn’t. At the time it upset me but I am so grateful for that now.” She values having grown up to be non-materialistic, and believes charity is a good way to teach children to be this way too. “When I buy new clothes, I give away old ones and my four-year-old helps me pack them into a bag and comes with me to give them to a needy organisation. I am not scared to teach her about real poverty.

Many parents are afraid of upsetting their children by exposing them to poverty, but children need to know what is really going on outside of their schools and shopping malls. It keeps them grounded.”

that some adults are not even aware of the tactics employed by advertisers and supermarkets to lure consumers into buying their products. “When it comes to shopping, my children gravitate to items with pictures of popular characters on them. I have to explain that this is a marketing tactic.”

Many parents find themselves giving in to branded items, from vitamins to shoes. I remember a friend of mine sticking Barbie stickers on no-name-brand yoghurts because her daughter would not eat anything without a character on it. We have to teach our children to be happy with less than the best.

They begin to judge others by what they own. Ultimately, what they don’t own ends up owning them.

Teaching children the value of people and relationships over possessions is a good start to countering materialism.

When you see your children fighting with each other over a toy, step in and remind them that treating their brother and sister with respect is more important than having the toy they want.

Consumer journalist and mom-of-two Lyse Comins agrees: “I recently watched Toy Story 3 with my children, but I felt I needed to explain to them that toys do not have feelings whereas people and animals do. Children can’t always tell the difference between fantasy and reality and I worry that movies like this encourage them to value their possessions on a level that is not healthy.”

Lyse is also passionate about teaching her toddlers how to be savvy consumers. She believes marketers start targeting children at an early age and

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needs, wants and time Can children differentiate between needs and wants? I quizzed my seven-year-old to see if he knew the difference and he had no problem explaining to me that besides food, a house and a family, everything else was a want.

Wendy Wentzel believes that time plays a key role. “Children want more time with their parents. Many parents are travelling more and working longer hours to support their lifestyles. Lots of them come home with gifts or treats for their children to ease their guilt over the time spent away from home. But buying more for our children only fuels their wants and gives them the message that they do not have enough,” she says.

She believes a better solution is to reward them with time. “Reward systems are great but those rewards are almost always monetary.” How about getting to Cape Town’s

play another game of cricket in the garden with Dad? Teaching our children financial responsibility and value for money is another great lesson. Pocket money may be the answer here, but there is a lot of debate surrounding paying children for good behaviour or doing chores around the house. Some feel that pocket money is an unrealistic model of the real world, where no-one pays us to look after ourselves, our pets and our belongings, while others feel that the earlier we teach children to manage their own money the better prepared they will be for life.

The balance lies somewhere in the middle. Wendy suggests that chores that teach personal responsibility – such as making beds, tidying up toys and feeding pets – should not be done for reward, whereas washing mom’s car or sorting the Tupperware cupboard can be rewarded.

In this way children begin to understand the link between hard work, money and possessions.

Craig Zeeman, a single dad of three teenage girls living in Johannesburg, adds: “I introduced pocket money at eight years old. I also opened bank accounts for the girls and taught them how to save for more expensive items. Now when they go to the mall they use their own bank cards to pay for movies and luxuries. They seem to spend less when the money is theirs. It teaches them responsibility and the value of money.”

back to basics Neil Madgwick and his wife Jo have chosen to live a frugal life in the Midlands Cape Town’s

25 kilometres from Pietermaritzburg, where they home-school their five children and share their experiences on a family blog in the hopes of inspiring other families.

Jo says: “Seven years ago when Neil was teaching in Cape Town he turned the discussion to brand-name clothing. He told the class he had bought a pair of genuine Levi’s jeans for only R100 because the red Levi’s label had been cut out. They were amazed, not because he had picked up a bargain, but because they didn’t see the point in wearing the jeans if the label was missing. That’s when alarm bells started ringing for us. Now we live a simple life and focus more on family and traditions.

We raise chickens, grow vegetables and make gifts for each other. We talk to our children all the time about money and how to use it wisely. With five children we buy most things in bulk and just can’t justify spending money on expensive items.”

While we can’t all get away from our fast-paced lifestyle, we can slow down enough to take moments with our children – a walk to the park, a game of frisbee or time to chat. These happy moments that don’t cost anything can’t be bought, but will be remembered long after the next big purchase is gathering dust somewhere.

recommended reading If you’re going to be getting out your wallet, these books offer food for thought.

• Affluenza by Oliver James • Consuming Kids by Susan Linn • Born to Buy by Juliet Schor • The High Price of Materialism

by Tim Kasser

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how to

collect, create and cultivate!

Nine fun ecofriendly projects using household junk, garden goodies and lots of imagination. By CHAREEN BOAKE

eggshell herb people What you need: empty eggshells, with the tops removed • egg box • koki pens • potting soil • seeds such as watercress or wheatgrass What to do: Carefully remove the tops and inside from the hard-boiled eggs, leaving an opening big enough to spoon the soil into the shell. Stand the shells in the egg box and draw faces on them. Fill each with a few teaspoons of soil and then sprinkle seeds into each shell. Cover lightly with a little more soil. Water gently. When the seeds start to sprout your eggshell people will look like they’re growing hair. When the herbs grow too big, just crumble the eggshell and plant your herbs in a bigger container or in the garden.

age 4–10

A terrarium is a closed environment that allows you to create your own little ecosystem – rain forest or desert, whichever you prefer.

What you need: empty two-litre plastic cold drink bottle with lid • small plants (miniature ferns, African violets and small palms work well) • potting soil

age 6–13 20

What to do: Remove the label from the bottle, and clean the inside and cap well. Cut the bottle near the bottom (where the label used to be). Fill the base with soil and plant your plants. Place the cap on the bottle and wedge the upper half of the bottle onto the base (you may have to play around a bit to get it to fit). Place your terrarium in a sunny spot and water your plants as regularly as they require it. You might like to place coloured glass, rocks, dinosaurs or fairies inside your bottle before sealing it and watch your terrarium turn into a mini wonderland as your plants grow.

September 2010

shoebox Zen garden

age 3– 8

The Zen garden originated in Japan where they’re made with sand or gravel, which is raked into beautiful patterns. The shoebox version is a great way to display special holiday treasures such as shells and pebbles.

What you need: shoebox lid • fine sand (such as sandpit sand) • pebbles, small rocks, shells • plastic fork What to do: Fill the shoebox lid with sand.

Arrange the pebbles and shells in the lid. Now use the plastic fork to rake patterns in the sand.

age 4–8 portable mini-golf course Mini golf is also called putt-putt, crazy golf, goofy golf or adventure golf. Whatever you call it, you’re sure to have loads of fun creating and mastering your very own miniature course.

What you need: 9 x two-litre plastic cold drink bottles • coloured electrical tape • permanent marker What to do: Remove the labels and cut off the bottom of the bottles. Cut an arched hole at the base of each bottle (approximately 8cm x 8cm). Use coloured tape and permanent markers to decorate and number the bottles from one to nine. Place the bottles in the garden and use your imagination to create a great mini-golf course, right in your own garden, by using logs, rocks or pot plants.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: CHAREEN BOAKE, THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

miniature garden

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September 2010

21

how to

pinhole camera

age 4 –11

The first camera was invented over 2 000 years ago. It was a very simple device using a box, a pinhole and light to create an image.

What you need: a cardboard tube (like the kind crisps come in) • wax paper • an elastic band • a drawing pin • tin foil or thick black cardboard What to do: Make a hole in the centre bottom of the tube using the drawing pin. Cut a piece of wax paper big enough to cover the opening of the container.

Wrap the wax paper over the top of the tube and stretch the elastic band around the opening of the container to secure the wax paper in place. Wrap a sheet of tin foil or thick black cardboard around the camera to keep the light out.

Stand in a dark room and point the bottom of the container out of the window, making sure that it’s pointing at a brightly lit object. When you look at the wax paper, the scene reflected through the pinhole will appear upside down.

age 4–11

growing cards Plant these cards in the ground and watch them turn into flowers.

What you need: 1,5 cups of newspaper torn into 2,5 centimetre strips • bowl of warm water • masking tape • baking tray • piece of fine wire mesh (window mesh works well; make sure that the piece is slightly smaller than your baking tray) • seeds such as marigold or lobelia • towel What to do: Place the strips of newspaper in the bowl of warm water and soak them overnight. Fold strips of masking tape around the edges of the wire mesh to make it easier to handle. Mix the mushy paper well, gradually adding fresh water until the mixture looks like a creamy soup (you can use a blender if you like). Add water to the baking tray until it’s a quarter full, then pour in your paper mixture. Add the flower seeds and mix well with your hands. Slip the screen into the pan so that it slides under the pulp and seeds. Lift the screen gently and make sure that you catch the pulp mixture in an even layer on top and allow the water to drain off. Lay the screen on a towel and let your paper dry for at least 24 hours.

When your paper is completely dry, gently remove it from the screen. You can add a drop of food colouring to the mixture to make different coloured paper. Write a message on the cards and you have a note and a gift all rolled into one.

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Cape Town’s

compost bin

age 7–12

Your children will need your help with the drilling.

solar oven Most of the earth’s energy comes from the sun. You can use this energy to create your own solar oven, which can heat up to 200˚C on a sunny day.

age 6 –13

What you need: 20–25 litre plastic storage box with lid • craft paint • power drill • clear varnish • soil What to do: Drill one-centimetre holes along both long edges of the bin (holes should be about 3cm apart). Cut holes in two opposite corners at the bottom of the bin (1cm wide x 3cm). Decorate your compost bin. Paint bright flowers and leaves, or paint the word compost as a daisy chain. You can also create fingerprint insects like ladybirds. Once you’ve finished decorating your bin, spray the varnish onto the bin. Allow it to dry and then give it two more coats. When your bin is finished, line the inside with a layer of soil and some dry leaves and you’re ready to start composting. Vegetable peels and fruit scraps are best for making compost.

What you need: empty pizza box • tin foil • plastic cling wrap • thick black cardboard • stick or dowel What to do: Make a flap in the lid of the pizza box by cutting along three sides, leave a 2cm rim between the flap and the edge of the box. Fold the flap over so that it stands up when the box lid is closed. Cover the inside of the flap with tin foil (shiny side up) so that it can reflect the sun’s rays. Open the box and tape a double layer of cling wrap securely over the opening you cut for the flap. Make sure that it’s airtight. Line the bottom of the box with tin foil (shiny side up) and cover it with thick black cardboard. Take your oven to a sunny spot and adjust the flap so that it reflects lots of sunlight through the plastic window. Use your stick or dowel to prop your flap open at a right angle.

Try melting some cheese on toast. Get creative by adding tomatoes, fresh herbs or even pineapple and mushrooms.

age 4 –10

junk yard vegetable garden What you need: old containers such as yoghurt pots, mugs with broken handles, old buckets, colanders, even old tyres or a wheelbarrow • vegetable seeds (onions, lettuce, carrots and tomatoes grow well from seeds) • old wooden spoons • craft paint and koki pens • potting soil • compost What to do: Decorate your wooden spoons and write on the name of the vegetables. Place potting soil and compost in your containers. Sprinkle the seeds on top and then cover lightly with soil. Plant your wooden spoons in the containers and then arrange the containers to form a pleasing configuration. Remember to water your seeds and wait patiently for your vegetables to start growing.

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education

t

his is the house that Jack built. This is the malt that lay in the house that Jack built. This is the rat that ate the malt. That lay in the house that Jack built…

Outdated nursery rhyme, you may think. Not according to Cape Town librarian and early literacy expert Sharon Geffen. A rhyme like this “teaches sequencing, while others teach counting skills”. After chatting to Sharon I’m off home to dig out my childhood collection of nursery rhymes so I can start reading them to my 20-month-old son.

According to Geffen, nursery rhymes help children learn the skill of retaining info, which assists with both contents

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subjects and languages. And she knows what she’s talking about. She’s been running baby and toddler story time groups for the past 16 years. Her “pilot group” just finished high school – “this little girl matriculated with seven As, and so did this one,” she says, pointing out their photos in an article published about her story hour, when the children were still in preschool. Although she won’t take credit for their success, she is certain a culture of reading has played an important role.

“The skill of reading is the heart of all learning,” says Dr Louis Naudé, a Cape Town-based cognitive and remedial consultant. “In learning to love reading and improving one’s ability to read, competency is built in understanding the written word and in doing so children become more competent scholars.”

Developing pre-reading skills, however, doesn’t need to be all about work – especially not for the child. “Listening to stories, rhymes and ‘playing’ with sounds and words form the foundation for learning how to read, which is

Great ideas for encouraging your children to love reading.

By ELAINE EKSTEEN

associating letters with sound,” says Naudé. “The more exposure to reading a child gets, especially if it is done in a playful and fun way, the more familiar he or she will become with the skill of reading. Plus it will be associated with their natural development of language, a process that starts at birth and is something children love.”

And that’s what we’re aiming for: engendering a love for reading in our young ones, a connection with words and other worlds that will, hopefully, help them at school, but as importantly, will set them on a journey of discovery. “Reading is a world like no other. You can taste riches, go anywhere, it takes you places,” says Geffen.

breeding bookworms So how can we introduce our children to reading in such a way as to ignite in them a passion and love for reading?

“Start early, right from birth, by reading aloud to your child,” says Naudé. “Reading for children should be seen as fun, not a chore,” Naudé continues, but just how can we make it such? “Delight them,” says Geffen, “don’t just fill

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ILLUSTRATION: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

page turners

them with facts. Change your tone of voice often and use different voices for the different characters.” Stories reflect emotions and attitudes, as we narrate stories we can use our voices to dramatise these. So throw off your inhibitions – and welcome audience participation.

Make reading a part of your day every day, “especially at bedtime,” suggests Naudé. Or build in a cuddle and story with Mom during the early morning bottle. How about a Dad’s-just-back-from-the-office story each evening?

Create an enjoyable and affectionate interaction, and your toddler “will grow up associating these good memories with reading,” says Geffen.

Most importantly, says Naudé, “let your child see you read. Share your love of books with them.” Introduce a reading hour for the whole family once a week at the same time and talk to each other about what you are reading, suggests Naudé.

Always have books around the house that your child can pick up and page through, suggests Tandi Erasmus of The Story Club, a Durban-based “book club” for children aged three to six. This doesn’t need to cost you a fortune: visit your local library, check out the children’s shelf at your second-hand bookstore or swap books with friends.

It’s easier to encourage reading when children are excited by the topic. “Learn what excites your child and select books according to these interests,” says Naudé.

“My oldest son loved dinosaur books, whereas the younger

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one has always enjoyed trains and fell in love with the Thomas The Tank Engine series,“ says Erasmus.

Choose age-appropriate books. Babies, for instance, need books that “are durable, in bright colours, with minimal text and with pictures of concrete, recognisable things (such as animals or household objects)”. Geffen suggests not reading fairy tales to children younger than four years of age. Sensible advice if I think of how I, at

Reading is a world like no other.

You can taste riches, go anywhere, it takes you places. nearly double that age, would remove the Town Magicians of Bremen from my bookshelf and push it out into the passage, so did the folk tale haunt me. “A good book for two-year-olds?” I ask. “The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle,” she suggests, “or Virginia Miller’s Bartholomew Bear: Five Toddler Tales.”

If a younger child wants to hear their favourite book over and over again, bear with them, cheerfully and animatedly, of course. The repetition “is reassuring, and they’ll move on to the next book when they are ready,” says Erasmus.

“Give books as gifts and ask relatives to do the same,” says Naudé. Involve your child in selecting the book. Go to story time at your library or bookshop, or take them

to “meet an author at a book launch; talking with other children about books may inspire them,” says Naudé.

“If you have a child who seems to be uninterested in listening to stories try buying good children’s magazines – they are sure to find an article that captures their attention,” says Erasmus.

Consider having a weekly television-free evening, let each child choose a book and spend the time reading.

“Even my oldest daughter, who’s 13, participates happily,” says Erasmus.

“If your child has readers from school try ‘buddy’ reading: they read a page and then you read a page – this can make reading homework more fun. Always praise and encourage your child as they learn to read and never compare them to siblings or friends,” says Erasmus.

Both Erasmus and Geffen suggest choosing some of the children’s classics and enjoying them with your children: try “Robinson Crusoe, Little Women, Treasure Island, Oliver Twist and The Lost World,” says Erasmus. “The Wind in the Willows, Alice in Wonderland, and The Wizard of Oz shouldn’t be missed out on either,” adds Geffen, who suggests reading these to children from the age of six. “The Magic Faraway Tree is great from the age of four,” she says.

Don’t lose heart. “As your child grows and enters their teen years their interests change and there may be a period that they seem to read less. I believe, though, that once they are readers they will always be readers,” says Erasmus.

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creating traditions DONNA COBBAN looks at rituals as a means of building family.

to achieve at the time. On the contrary, their purpose was a cold gin and tonic along with a good roast, mixed and cooked by anyone but themselves. (Such are the basic desires of many parents with small children.) Nevertheless, the ritual was created, because that’s what we did, every Sunday, week after week, year after year. It’s an experience I hold onto dearly; it adds continuity and form to my life.

that was then…

Now, years on and far from the smell of wild grasses, I find myself, a single mom, acutely aware of the need for rituals – rituals that, in the absence of nearby family, need to be created myself. Thus far we are not doing too badly… This past winter, every Friday night has been pancake night – we work together to mix the batter and cook up delectable savoury pancakes for our supper. Come summer, this might morph into beach pizzas or lounge picnics – weather dependent. As a working mom, this gives the weekend ahead a special significance and helps my toddler to ground himself and grasp where in the week we are. As Robin Barker, author of The Mighty Toddler, puts it: “Rituals are calming and reassuring and give order to a toddler’s life at a time when his inner world tends to be somewhat chaotic and uncertain.”

When I cast around for stories of treasured family rituals, they come pouring in. Tales of rituals from people’s childhood that are so full of colour and so infused with meaning that the very telling of them is a rich reminder to me of the enormity of childhood, and how the smallest things really matter! Meike tells me how her dad had a bedtime ritual where, instead of reading a story from a book, would read “a story from the hand”. “We could,” she says, “just

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show him our hand, and he would have a very close look at it and then start telling the story he would ‘see’ in our hand. My dad is the best storyteller in the entire world, and this ritual also allowed him to tell us a story when, for example, there wasn’t a book close by, like on long trips in an aeroplane or on the train. My brother does it with his children and whenever I hear: ‘Dad, one more story from the hand’, it reminds me to try and do this for my son.”

While stories evoke rich memories, so too do days spent in bed, too sick to go to school. Kate tells me that she can still remember the colours and pattern on the pillowcase that they were allowed when sick. The ill one would also get freshly squeezed orange juice. “The pillowcase and the orange juice were not enough to mean that we feigned being ill but it certainly was a special treat for the sick one,” she says.

Rob Parsons, author of The Sixty Minute Family and The Sixty Minute Father talks about rituals giving us a “sense of connectedness”. In his books, he tells of his own family tradition where once a month everyone would drag their mattresses into the living room, the fire would be lit, chocolate devoured, and stories told. Traditions like these are certainly worth the effort. As Parsons points out: “Whether they are simple or profound, in our family or in our nation, traditions say to us: ‘You belong here – these are your roots’.”

connection makers Some ritual ideas gathered from far and wide: • Bedtime story – every single night.

• Weekend breakfasts – pancakes, eggs, bacon, muffins, French toast – cooked and eaten in a leisurely fashion.

• Slow weekend mornings – children climb into the parents’ bed and there’s no rush to get going.

• Family meals out, to mark the passing of age and/or grades.

• Regular holidays – younger children love returning to familiar places with the same mountain pools, trees to climb, and the predictable sense of adventure.

• Let each child choose the family meal on an allocated day of the week – cook, rejoice and eat, no matter the meal.

• Let each child choose a weekly game or activity in which the whole family participates – no excuses.

• Before eating, say gratitude prayers, where everyone has a chance to be glad for the good things that happened that day.

• Treat all family birthdays the same way – flowers and sweets and presents round the birthday person’s breakfast bowl, tea in bed with presents, a special story, the options are endless.

• Create scenarios where children know the outcome – examples might include doing a huge puzzle together as a family, and from the start the youngest child gets to hide and then place the final piece – make it up as you go.

• Spring-cleaning rituals make room for space and giving – take the children to the same charity (see page 38 for ideas) every year to give them a sense of continuity and to assure them that parting with once-treasured goods really does make a difference.

• Turn things such as taking out the rubbish, making your bed or washing the dishes into a ritual rather than a chore – resistance to these may soon vanish as children see their role as a vital cog in the family wheel.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

e

very Sunday, shortly after breakfast, my father would load up the cooler bag, while my mother packed a few items she’d ordered from the “country”. We then bundled Heidi, our beloved Staffie, into the back of the open bakkie, and my sister and I followed suit. Heidi would lean out over the wheel hub, her ears taking flight in the side wind as her small nose took in all it could smell. For 30 kilometres we travelled like this, on our way to my grandparents’ smallholding. I can still smell the wild grasses, feel the weight of the uphills and the thrill of the downhills. Five hundred metres from the gate, Heidi would launch herself from her wheel-hub seat and race us to it.

Today, over 30 years on, whenever I feel disconnected with myself, the world, or life in general, I take myself back to the bakkie, to the wind, the smells and the sunshine, to a place of safety (before the obligatory safety of the car chair was conceived). Such is the nature of positive rituals: they tend to ground you, give your existence credence, and allow you to take stock and know that all is okay.

This certainly was not something my parents were trying

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27

health

intelligent

eating Your child’s food – what should be in it, what should not and what it all means.

By LUCILLE KEMP

food label lingo

The order of the nutrients on a nutritional label corresponds to how much of each is in the food. The first on the list is the main ingredient and the last makes up the smallest portion. A typical nutrition analysis table must provide information on kilojoules (energy), total fat, saturated fat, monounsaturated fat, polyunsaturated

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fat, trans fat, cholesterol, sodium, total carbohydrates, dietary fibre, sugar and protein. To keep you and your family healthy choose food that has no cholesterol, reduced saturated fat, preservatives and sodium (salt) and that is trans fat free.

Favour calcium, dietary fibre and good fats such as monounsaturated fat, which can be found in avocados and peanuts, and polyunsaturated fat, which is found in salmon. Simple carbohydrates and lean proteins are also good in moderate quantities. Overall, choose products that contain less than 20 percent of the daily values for fat, cholesterol and sodium.

Nutrient reference values (NRVs) now replace the term RDA, and are a recommended guideline to preventing nutrient deficiencies and disease. These also help you see how a food fits into an overall daily diet. Gabi Steenkamp, a Johannesburg-based dietician who is also a food-labelling consultant, advises that you take note of the NRVs as they apply to everyone in the family that is four years and older.

Serving size aims to keep you and your family’s food portions within healthy limits. If children are to keep a healthy weight, it is vital from a nutritional point of view that parents keep the serving to the size recommended on the packaging.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM, ILLUSTRATIONS: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

The info on food packaging can be tricky to understand, but being able to “read” what’s printed on the label can make all the difference to your family’s diet (and wellbeing). We chatted to a few people in the know and rounded up some tips for food shopping savvy…

Good news for the consumer is that new food labelling legislation comes into effect on 1 March 2011. Products will be more accurately represented, ingredients will be better monitored and scrutinised for consumer safety and it will be illegal to make flippant health claims – no more terms such as “healthy” and “nutritious” splashed across a box of sugary cereal.

Claims such as “fat free”, “sugar free”, “light”, “low fat”, and “high fibre” will only be able to be used if, according to Gabi, “certain provisos are met; the nutritional analysis is done by a reputable SANAS (The South African National Accreditation System) accredited laboratory, following accredited procedures; and the level of the stated nutrient is in fact at the level set out in the legislation.” Rulings are yet to be passed on claims about the relationship between a nutrient and a disease, such as calcium and osteoporosis, or fat and cancer, for example. (For a detailed breakdown of new food labelling regulations visit the Department of Health’s website at doh.gov.za.)

Organic labelling has often been used as a catchphrase in the marketing and branding world. For this reason it is heavily monitored and regulated – products undergo a stringent assessment. The food should have no (or very little) synthetic chemical input such as fertiliser, pesticides, antibiotics, food additives, genetically modified organisms, irradiation, and the use of sewage sludge is not allowed. The farmland also needs to have been free of synthetic chemicals for a number of years.

avoiding trolley trash That old saying “you are what you eat” has more than a sprinkling of truth in it. Being informed about the ingredients in food and the related health implications means you can make good choices for your family.

Here are some things to keep in mind…

A build-up of LDL cholesterol causes high blood cholesterol and is linked to coronary heart disease. It shouldn’t be shrugged off as an exclusively adult issue. Pay particular attention to your child’s saturated fat intake because “the effect of a poor diet on cholesterol levels is cumulative and starts in childhood,” says Gabi.

Saturated fat is linked to heart disease, high blood pressure, high blood cholesterol, weight gain and certain types of cancer. To maintain optimum health Gabi advises: “A primary school child should consume no more than 80g of fat per day in total. This means choosing leaner protein and dairy foods, with only one added fat to every meal your child eats.”

A little sugar does no harm, but starting off the day with a huge dose of sugar and refined carbohydrates is not conducive to good concentration at school.

Sodium increases the risk of getting cardiovascular disease and high blood pressure. Chicken nuggets, tinned veggies (opt for frozen veggies, if not fresh, as they will have been frozen straight from harvest), microwave meals, frozen pizzas, cured meats and even yoghurt have been shown to contain an excessive amount of salt. A healthy daily intake of salt for a child aged one to three years old should be a little more than half a teaspoon (1 500mg), four to eight year olds should be eating just less than one

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health

teaspoon (1 900mg), nine to 13 year olds should be eating close on one teaspoon (2 200mg) and from the age of 14 and older they may eat the same as an adult – one teaspoon (2 300mg). Probably the easiest way to keep within the guidelines and control your family’s salt consumption is to cook your own meals.

Trans-fatty-acids can increase the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure,

high blood cholesterol and weight gain.

They can be found in fried foods, storebought baked goods such as doughnuts, cookies, crackers, processed foods and certain margarines. These fats form when vegetable oil hardens (a process called hydrogenation).

Limit carbohydrates and added sugar if diabetes runs in the family. Low GI is ideal – the glycemic index was originally developed by doctors who wanted to find the foods best for people with diabetes.

Healthy cut-offs of sugar and fat consumption depend on each food category. For instance, bread with a fat content of 3g per 100g is a high-fat bread, but lasagne and yoghurt with this level of fat would be classed as low in fat. Gabi also suggests looking at a child’s serving size. “If one sweet is consumed the sugar content will be okay, but if a whole mini packet of sweets is eaten, then the sugar becomes excessive. Everything is okay in moderation.”

Artificial colourants and flavourants are said to be linked to allergies, hyperactivity, asthma and cancer.

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However, this should not be taken out of context, as Gabi puts it: “Additives are very well controlled in South Africa.

The miniscule amount that you are being exposed to will make no difference as long as you make sure you are tempering this with an active lifestyle and you, for the most part, eat freshly made food and lots of fruit and vegetables.”

Gabi also says you need to know your E numbers before you make your judgements.

“E numbers refer to all additives to food, including vitamins and other beneficial or useful additives. For example, the E number for vitamin C is E300.”

ready, steady, cook Having completed a label-savvy shop, you’re now ready to whip up your family’s meals. Eating healthily, however, doesn’t have to be a mission.

The key to a healthy diet is fresh over instant. Plan a once-a-week fresh produce shop so that fruit and vegetables are always available in the home – and you’re sorted.

Half your child’s plate should be filled with vegetables. This will improve the nutritional

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Half a plate of salad and veggies will improve the nutritional value of all meals – even fish fingers and oven chips become okay. value of all meals – even fish fingers and oven chips become okay, according to Durban-based dietician Paula Lawson. She goes on to say: “The busy parent who relies on prepared meals will make the nutrient composition of that pre-prepared meal so much better by abiding by the half plate of salad and veg rule.” If you are going to buy a prepared meal, Paula suggests you go for a low GI option, which means that the glucose sugars release slowly and steadily into the body throughout the day, giving your child long-lasting energy.

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A plate of food should be portioned following the food pyramid, says Paula.

“That is: a palm of protein, a fist of low GI carbs, and half a plate of salad and vegetables. Serve fresh, seasonal foods and in so doing you will automatically limit packaged, processed long-life shelf foods.”

Paula says parents should encourage water consumption – this should take the place of cool drinks and juices, while fruit juice, when consumed, needs to be made with 100 percent fruit juice blends, and preferably diluted with water.

When it comes to breakfast cereal scrutinise the ingredients list. Gabi’s take on cereal is a real eye-opener. “Most cereals are highly refined foods; foods from Mother Nature will always be much better.”

At least most have vitamins and minerals added, but the absorption of these is dependent on what form the vitamins and minerals take. The bottom line is that many cereals are too concentrated and refined, and often too high in sugar. “A little sugar does no harm, but starting off the day with a huge dose of sugar and refined carbohydrates is not conducive to good concentration at school.” Based on what we mentioned earlier about the order of the ingredients indicating their position on the list, Gabi offers a useful tip. “If the first ingredients are wheat flour and whole wheat, the cereal is actually made of very concentrated carbohydrates in the form of flour – not exactly a cereal. If sugar features in the first two or three ingredients then chances are the cereal contains too much sugar,” she says. If your child insists on cereal, seek out the products that list a whole grain, but be sure to check the fibre content. Cereals should have less than 5g of sugar per serving, and brown rice instead of white rice makes a better choice

since it’s higher in fibre. Cooked oats (not the instant variety) is the best breakfast for your child and is a good example of a whole grain. Some dieticians say that you can even make a small difference by taking the cereal that your child likes and mixing it with a whole grain option.

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31

parenting

off to

camp,

minus mom or dad

Holiday camps are catching on in South Africa.

If you’re considering one for the December break, here’s what you need to know. By GLYNIS HORNING

t

he closest most South African parents have come to summer camp is watching American comedies like Meatballs or nostalgic reruns of Dirty Dancing.

“The US has had a camp culture for 100 years,” says Zoë Ellender, director of Sugar Bay, north of Durban. “Generations of family members have made it a tradition.”

By contrast, nine years after it first opened, Sugar Bay remains the only permanent dedicated holiday camp in this country.

But a growing number of temporary camps are being run at camping sites, on farms or at guesthouses over school holidays.

new activities,” she says. “They provide a great opportunity to socialise with different children and adults.”

“Children learn to relate to others, to be responsible for themselves, and to make their own decisions about things like what they’re going to do next,” adds Ellender. “Here they can choose from over 100 different activities, and often end up trying and loving things they and their parents wouldn’t have dreamed they’d tackle. Having a stranger say ‘Good going, climbing that wall!’ is more powerful than hearing it from a parent, who children

With many parents working, there should be a large market for camps, but most South Africans still keep their children home with a domestic worker, or send them to daycare or to grandparents, says Tanyan Gradwell, director of Metamorphic Adventures Holiday Camps, held at various sites in the Western Cape. “Cost may be a factor, but parents here have been slow to appreciate the advantages camps can give children.”

Holiday camps, say Gradwell and Ellender, are not simply about keeping children safely occupied and having fun – they’re a growth experience. Durban psychologist Rakhi Beekrum agrees. “For many children, camps are their first taste or test of independence and an introduction to

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know will always tell them they’re great. It’s affirming and confidence-building.”

Even “problem” children benefit, she says. “At camp they can make a fresh start, and we keep loud children or potential bullies busy, give them responsibilities, and ensure they exercise and eat well, so they do well.”

Most South African camps take children from ages seven to 17, but camp-readiness is less about age than maturity. If a child can sleep away from home and handle staying up to around 9pm, they are generally ready. But talk to them about things like “uncomfortable touch” and the importance of saying “no,” suggests Beekrum. Good camps include talks on this.

Cape Town’s

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

Children learn to relate to others, be responsible and make decisions.

Parents often ask if a child should bring a sibling or friend, but it’s not necessary.

“Children find they want to do different things and explore new friendships, and can feel tied down,” says Ellender. “They tend to come alone the next time.”

choosing a camp Unlike in the US, there is no Camping Association in South Africa, providing a comprehensive list of camps of a certain standard, and our Tourism Grading Council has no category for them. You need to shop around online or review websites and brochures with your child to find a camp that fits their interests (arts, sports, leadership, religion), then contact the director. Ask for references (other parents, camp counsellors), and ask questions: What is the director’s background?

Ellender, for example, is an attorney, and a scuba-diving, first-aid and life-guard instructor; Gradwell has worked in earlychild development and the travel and tourism industry, and her husband, codirector Marcel Gradwell, is an accredited sports coach and outrigger canoeing instructor who did Salvation Army camps and counselling in the US.

1

Which organisations do they belong to, or which endorse them?

Ellender has joined the American Camping Association and the Southern African Tourism Services Association and follows their guidelines, although they have no inspectors to accredit camps here.

Gradwell, who also runs school camps, works with the Departments of Education, Health and Social Development in running her camps, and suggests contacting the nearest provincial department to ask about any camp you are considering.

2

How is homesickness handled?

Good camps allow little ones to bring a familiar toy or blanket, and find out what they enjoy doing and distract them, dealing with each camper differently.

6

7

How is discipline handled? Does this fit with your values?

How full is the programme? There can be scheduled down-time for reading, resting and board games (generally an hour after lunch), but if children have long stretches of open time they may be bored and little better off than at home.

8

What contact is there with parents? Calling children can make them homesick, but you should be given times when you can call camp managers for an update. Cellphones and other electronic equipment are generally not allowed, but children should be able to ask to call home.

9

How safe is the camp? Is it fully fenced and protected from outside influences? Is safety equipment used for all risky ventures, especially climbing, skateboarding, BMXing, horse-riding and paintball? Are all activities supervised by adults qualified in first aid? Do trained lifeguards supervise water sports? Are there fire drills and plans for emergency procedures? How far is the nearest doctor and hospital?

10

Are counsellors given thorough background checks? Top camps insist on police clearance and an agreement by counsellors to undergo random drug and alcohol tests. Are counsellors given proper training in child behaviour and safety, not just a quick chat the day children arrive, and are they continually evaluated?

3

What is the counsellor-child ratio?

This should be around one to seven, and counsellors should sleep in the same cabin or tent as the children to provide 24-hour supervision, but have their own section and ablutions.

4

How old are the counsellors?

They should be young (18 to 25) so they have energy to participate fully with children and can be role models, and they should have youth-development experience as coaches at schools or youth organisations.

5

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How much does it cost, and does this include all extras? Top camps charge from R3 500 to R4 000 a week fully inclusive, with discounts for extra children and repeats. Other camps charge half that, and some considerably less, but also give less – find out what you will be getting, from facilities and transport to meals (ask to see some menus).

11

Finally, what percentage of campers come back? Around 40 to 60 percent is good. “We have some children who’ve been more than 20 times,” says Ellender. “They become like family.”

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September 2010

33

relationships

the better

connection Stuck in a cycle of living past each other? Here are some things you can do to invest in your marriage and get back the closeness you had.

i

t’s Saturday. Your partner is off at your son’s under-8 soccer match and you’re rushing up and down the aisles at the supermarket trying to finish the grocery shopping. Your three-year-old is hanging off the trolley hoping to grab interesting looking items from the shelves.

Halfway down the cereal aisle you’re hit by the question: what happened to those lazy Saturday mornings, snuggling in bed, sipping freshly brewed coffee, chatting about the events of the past week? When last did you and he actually stop, look squarely into each other’s eyes

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and have a conversation that wasn’t about the house, the children, the bond, and so on? If your reply is “far too long ago”, you’re not alone.

It’s scary just how easy it is to live lives so focused on getting the children to and from where they need to be, feeding and clothing the family and keeping the house running while juggling jobs, financial responsibilities, work trips, extramural schedules and so on, that you start living past each other. Once all of these demands are taken care of, you’ve got little energy left for your partner, let alone for building your relationship.

Cape Town’s

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

By ELAINE EKSTEEN

But, says Liz Dooley, director of the Family Life Centre in Johannesburg: “If you don’t spend time nurturing your relationship you’ll grow apart. You may end up not knowing each other, and possibly not even liking each other.”

Or, as Cape Town psychologist Glyde Thompson puts it: “Some couples make great CEOs. The family is the company, which they run very well. But when the children leave home, they haven’t invested in their relationship and things fall apart.”

So what can we do to keep this from happening?

Here are a number of ways you can invest in a strong and meaningful relationship with your partner...

Connect through conversation. “A good exercise,” suggests Dooley, “is asking what percentage of your time you spend as a couple talking about ‘me’, ‘you’, ‘us’, ‘them’ (others including the children), and things (car, cost of groceries, and so on). Very often this reveals how little we talk about intimate things.” It’s important to be intentional about changing this because you and your spouse are going to be together long after the children grow up and move out.

Clinical psychologist Willard F. Harley gives some valuable insight into the sort of conversation that builds strong relationships: “If you want a satisfying marriage, you must use some of your conversational time to inform,

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investigate and understand each other,” says Harley in his popular book His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage. “Inform each other of your personal interests and activities, desiring to bring each other into your spheres of interest. Investigate each other’s personal feelings and attitudes without trying to change each other.

Encourage each other to be open and vulnerable by being respectful and sensitive. Understand each other’s motivations in life – what makes you happy and sad.”

Listen so as to understand beyond the words. Listen to hear your partner’s heart.

Make time for togetherness. Harley suggests couples spend 15 hours a week alone with their spouse “giving each other undivided attention”. Fifteen hours might sound like a lot – with children to see to, work commitments, a social life, and so on – but he believes this amount of time is vital. If you don’t have the time to be alone to talk, you need to reassess your priorities, he says.

Some couples find setting a date night works for them.

Why not choose one evening a week and take turns being

responsible for serving the other dinner? Takeaways are fine – food is not the main course, conversation is.

Tell your partner you love them, but make sure you’re speaking the right language. While regularly saying “I love you” is so important, it’s vital for the health of your relationship to show your love in the way your partner needs it to be expressed. Surely if I’m communicating it, that’s good enough, you may argue. Well, not according to best-selling author Gary Chapman, whose book The 5 Love Languages is well worth reading.

In it he outlines five emotional love languages: “five ways that people speak and understand love”. These are “words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.” You might think your partner should be feeling super loved, after all the positive things you’ve been saying to him lately, but the truth is, in love terms you’re speaking Greek and he doesn’t understand a word. Instead, what he may need to feel loved is quality time with you – your undivided attention for a stretch of time, regularly. We often give the sort of love we would like to be receiving. So observe your partner carefully. How is he expressing love to you? Is this perhaps how he’d like you to be showing love to him?

The book contains a useful quiz for pinpointing your love language – why not do it together and, if you are not too keen on reading an entire book on relationships (though

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relationships

I’d highly recommend you do), just read the chapters pertaining to your partner’s top two or three love languages. Each gives loads of ideas for communicating your love to your partner in a way that he or she will understand.

“Once you identify and learn to speak your partner’s primary love language, I believe that you will have discovered the key to long-lasting, loving marriage. If we want him/her to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language,” says Chapman. “The payoff of speaking each other’s love language is a greater connection. This translates into better communication, increased understanding, and ultimately, improved romance.”

Cut criticism and speak appreciation.

US psychologist and relationship expert Dr John Gottman has spent 35 years researching the reasons marriages work or fail. His litmus test for a healthy relationship is whether the ratio of appreciation to criticism is at least five to one. Having interviewed thousands of couples, he found that where the ratio was one to one or less, divorce was virtually inevitable.

Defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism and contempt are all markers of ill health in a marriage, he says. He singles out contempt, shown by one or both parties, as the top signal of a relationship in trouble.

So, if you find these four things raising their ugly heads in your relationship, take action! Focus instead on speaking out your appreciation for your partner. Look for what you like, admire and love in the other, and verbalise these things. If we’re aiming for a healthy relationship, we all have a lot of work to do in the appreciation department.

Be interested in, and curious about, each other. We are happy to get into the world of our children, but do we make the same effort to understand the interests or job of our partner, asks Dooley? You might just get hooked on their fascination with plants, the share price (at a push!) or their interest in cycling – much fulfilment can be found in shared interests.

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September 2010

Really listen. “This means that you are able to recall what she told you her boss said two months ago,” says Dooley. “When he speaks, focus on what he is saying, give him your attention,” she continues. Listen so as to understand beyond the words.

Listen to hear your partner’s heart. What is your husband or wife really trying to say?

And if you don’t know, ask!

Be honest. “Honesty is the best marriage insurance policy,” says Harley. “In 24 years of counselling, I have never discovered the perfect marriage. Each partner has faults and weaknesses of one kind or another.

However, no marriage can survive two things: lack of honesty and lack of cooperation.

“When honesty and cooperation exist in a marriage, you have a couple, that is willing to share and build together. They do not need to be secretive or ‘private’. Neither wishes to lie or shade the truth to ‘protect’ the spouse. When you build your marriage on trust, you experience a joyful willingness to share all personal things with the one you have chosen for a life partner.”

That means avoiding lying to get yourself out of trouble or to protect your partner, and not letting “little white lies” chip away at your relationship. Your partner “has a right to your innermost thoughts,” says Harley. “Knowing you includes your good and bad feelings, your frustrations, your problems and your fears – anything that’s on your mind.” It’s about letting yourself be known, warts and all.

Learn how to resolve conflict effectively. “Conflict and acrimony between parents has a direct impact on the emotional wellbeing of a child. Parents must be able to disagree in front of their children. This teaches children how to resolve conflict in their own lives. But the severity of the arguments is key. If parents are in the habit of degrading each other, it can have an enormously negative impact on a child,” says Thompson.

One conflict-resolution technique that’s particularly useful when you’ve hit a stalemate, suggests Thompson, is to “give one partner the opportunity to talk. During Cape Town’s

When last did you and he actually stop, look squarely into each other’s eyes and have a conversation that wasn’t about the house, the children, the bond...? this time all the other partner is allowed to do is listen and paraphrase what the speaker is saying. At the end, the listener then says something along the lines of: ‘I understand you feel this way because of…’.” The conversation is then left there.

Later that day or the following day, once the emotions of the earlier conversation have subsided, the roles are reversed. When you say “I understand” it acknowledges the other’s feelings and experience and “gives emotional resolution to the topic,” says Thompson.

“If you get into arguments and can’t make headway, go for counselling, or get a mediator,” says Thompson. Don’t get stuck – get help and get moving in the right direction, towards – not away from – each other.

A woman on the marriage-preparation course I attended told of a tactic her parents had used regularly. In the height of an argument, they would run a bath and sit facing each other, knees together, no room for escape. They would stay in the bathroom till they’d talked things through, and come to some resolution. Perhaps this “aqua therapy” might work for you too?

100-kilometre round trips each afternoon and evening, you can say ‘no’. You need time for yourself and time for you as a couple,” says Dooley. While it is important to give your children the chance to engage in fun, stimulating activities, your relationship with your spouse can’t just survive on the leftover time once all other demands have been taken care of. Your marriage deserves intentional scheduling into your diary, and its importance needs to be reflected in the choices you make.

Surprise your partner. Book a babysitter and take him out to dinner on a Friday evening. “Surprises inject energy into a relationship – without these, life becomes a chore,” says Dooley.

Why not cook her the same meal you made in your bachelor days, when you were trying so hard to impress her? Make a little effort in setting the table and create an occasion of it. Or buy him the book he commented on while reading the reviews in the weekend paper. Pick a few flowers from the garden and place it in a vase next to her bed. The options are endless; the end point simple: make your partner feel special and loved.

Have fun together. Compare the following

Learn to say “no” to the children.

If your daughter “wants to do five extramurals that involve you driving Cape Town’s

snap shots, says Thompson: “You’re sitting next to each other and somebody says ‘smile’ for the camera, versus being caught off guard sitting together, enjoying the moment… there’s no need to pretend.” All good and well, you may say, but what if hanging out together just doesn’t feel like fun? Find something you both enjoy doing and do that. Cast your mind back to when you first met. What did you love doing together? Book a night to go to a rock concert; spend an afternoon wine-tasting – find a common interest and create space to indulge in that.

As much as you expect your partner to share your difficult days and challenging experiences, only burdening them with the “heavy” stuff won’t work. Make sure you also share fun, laughter and enjoyment.

As Harley puts it: “The couple who plays together, stays together.”

September 2010

37

resource

spring-clean

and donate

Time to clear out the clutter? Tackle one room at a time and decide what to keep, what to bin and what to donate. Then use our handy guide to decide where your pre-loved goods will best be used. Simply scan our list for the item you want to give away, read up on the charities listed alongside and choose one to receive your donation. And you thought this would be difficult… By LUCILLE KEMP

Appliances (small) Appliances (large) Art, craft and hobby supplies Baby clothes Baby cots, camp cots, cot mattresses and bedding Baby formula and powdered milk Baby prams, highchairs and car seats Baby supplies (bottles, slings, cups etc) Bicycles and tricycles Blankets Books and magazines Building materials CDs and DVDs Cleaning items Clothing (adult) Clothing (child)

Fabric Food (non-perishable)

Furniture PHOTOGRAPH AND ILLUSTRATION: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

Garden tools Kitchenware Linen and curtains Office equipment Plants and seeds

School stationery Shoes Toiletries (new) Toys and children’s books

Wedding dresses and matric dance dresses

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Cape Town’s

Aids Resource Centre (ARC) ARC raises funds to help support vulnerable children including those infected and affected by HIV/Aids. They also have an online HIV support service database.

Among its other needs are cot mattresses, building blocks, play dough and plastic tables and chairs for children. Life Church, 30 Main Rd, Sea Point. Contact: 021 439 4721, 082 899 9591, arc@aca.org. za or visit aidsresourcecentre.org.za Anna Foundation assists disadvantaged schools and communities by providing academic, social and environmental support and equipping children with skills for lifelong learning. Among other basic requirements, Anna Foundation has specified a need for Afrikaans reading books from Grade R–12. Zorgvliet West, Banhoek, Stellenbosch. Contact: 021 885 1922 or visit annafoundation.com Association for the Sensory Disabled Sean Kelly Centre is a daycare facility that cares for sensory multi-disabled children that cannot be accommodated at existing schools for the deaf or blind, as they are not able to benefit from school curriculla. It currently caters for children with cerebral palsy, Down’s syndrome and autism as well as other conditions. Waterloo St, Worcester. Contact: 023 342 7939, info@asd.org.za or visit asd.org.za or seankelly.co.za Beautiful Gate provides care and support to vulnerable children and families. This organisation believes that the best place for each child is within a Cape Town’s

family, and that the best way to support families is to enable their own community to provide support. Based in the informal area of Lower Crossroads, Beautiful Gate aims to restore the capacity of the community and of families to care for their children or, where this is not possible, to find alternative families. Crossroads Child and Family Centre, 73 Stock Rd, Lower Crossroads, Philippi East. Contact: 021 370 2500, support@beautifulgate.org or visit beautifulgate.org Catholic Welfare and Development (CWD) reaches more than one million people per year through food security, early child education and care, youth development, refugee shelter and reintegration, various community development initiatives in poor communities and economic development. 37A Somerset Rd, Green Point. Contact: 021 425 2095, info@cwd.org.za or visit cwd.org.za Colors Academy Part of the food export industry, Colors Foundation has started an academy for its farm and pack-house workers and their families.

The organisation aims to empower through education and skills development. At the farm there is a crèche and a centre for adults with facilities such as a library, computers and provision for craftwork as well as a literacy programme for the elderly. Third Floor, Newlink Centre, New St, Paarl. Contact: 021 807 5000, 082 553 3399, susara@colorsfruit.com or visit colorsfruit.com Compassion & Mercy Ministries looks after the poorest in the Breede River Valley district of Bonnievale, September 2010

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Ashton, Montagu and Robertson. It has a training course to assist school children, and is busy establishing a permanent, fully equipped study area for them. Monday– Friday 8:30am–4:30pm. Sultana Crescent, Montagu. Contact: 023 626 2226, 082 896 3425 or alidac@lando.co.za Disability Workshop Development Enterprise helps youth with disabilities through its skills development programmes with the aim of growing these into viable business enterprises and helping the young people to become active members of a mainstream workforce. 21 Cavendish Rd, Claremont. Contact: 021 674 6139, 072 486 2670, dwderesearch@telkomsa.net FAMSA Western Cape In a society where family violence is rife and divorce rates are increasing, this organisation is committed to empowering people to reconstruct, build and maintain sound relationships in the family, in marriages and in communities. 9 Bowden Rd, Observatory. Contact: 021 447 7951 or visit famsawc.org.za

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. – Aesop

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September 2010

Fish Hoek-Kommetjie-Noordhoek Welfare Association provides daycare for children with special needs, creative stimulation programmes, therapy,

recreational activities, parent support groups, transference of care skills and adult and youth support groups. Sinethemba Special Care Centre, 4 Pokela Rd, Masiphumelele. Contact: 021 785 5389 or fhknw@telkomsa.net Flame Lily Foundation, Cape Peninsula branch, is involved in aiding elderly Zimbabweans. The foundation endeavours to promote, further and secure the interests of former residents of Zimbabwe living in South Africa. To this end, it provides or facilitates residential accommodation for people older than 60 who have settled here. Contact: 021 782 1895 or visit flf-rasa.org Haven Night Shelter This temporary shelter in Green Point offers rehabilitation and social welfare as well as family reunification services. It provides physical care and support to adults living on the streets and seeks to reintegrate them where possible. The shelter partners with religious institutions, welfare bodies, businesses, government departments, local authorities and individuals concerned with the care and welfare of the destitute.

Napier St, Green Point. Contact: 021 421 6219, napierstreet@haven.org.za or natasha.ellie@haven.org.za

Cape Town’s

Helderberg Child Abuse Centre (PATCH) aims to support all young victims of sexual abuse in the Helderberg through immediate crisis intervention, free professional therapy in the child’s home language at a facility close to the child’s home, and preparation for the court case.

Cnr Dummer and Dorhill Close, Somerset West. Contact: 021 852 6110, childabuse@ telkomsa.net or visit patch-helderberg.com help2read Trained volunteers assist school children aged 5–12 years, who have difficulty reading. Sessions are entirely child-led, light-hearted and enjoyable. Reading helpers and children sit in the library or a quiet place outside the classroom, and read or play together one-on-one on a weekly basis. Help2read provides schools and helpers with a box full of interesting and beautiful books.

Unit 110A, 66 Main Rd, Claremont.

Contact: 021 671 0824, 021 671 0842, 072 221 0954, info@help2read.org or visit help2read.org Ikamva Labantu This organisation reaches orphaned and vulnerable children who live in the township communities surrounding Cape Town. It supports caregivers by providing them with the resources and hands-on support

Cape Town’s

that strengthens their capacity to meet the children’s needs and provide them with a safe, loving and caring family environment.

Buchanan Square, 160 Sir Lowry Rd, Woodstock. Contact: 021 461 8338, 072 410 9063 or visit ikamva.org Little Angels This daycare and rehabilitation centre is a residentialcare facility for children with special needs.

It also offers respite care. Little Angels recently focused its energies on buying the house it was renting with funds approved by the National Lottery. In order to make it comfortable for the children in their care, many alterations and additions need to be done. Bridgewater St, Bridgewater Estate, Somerset West. Contact: 021 851 0908, 082 444 4115, info@littleangelssa.com or visit littleangelssa.com Mamelani Projects They work to empower and strengthen marginalised communities by listening to the particular needs of women, youth and children. This is achieved by facilitating programmes that focus on developing people through health education, skills training and personal development.

Wesley College, 20 Durham Ave, Salt River.

Contact: 021 448 2725, info@mamelani. org.za or visit mamelani.org.za

Maryland Literacy Programme is an adult literacy programme, which serves the urban, informal settlements and rural communities in and around the Western Cape. The programme is based in Hanover Park at the Maryland Centre, a complex run by the Schoenstatt Sisters of Mary. Summit Rd, Hanover Park. Contact: 021 692 1355 or info@adultlit.co.za National Sea Rescue Institute The NSRI is a non-profit emergency service run by 920 highly skilled volunteers, who are on standby 24/7 throughout the year. The organisation has initiated an education arm called ‘WaterWise’, which teaches disadvantaged children between the ages of nine and 14 years what to do in an emergency while they wait for an ambulance to arrive. 1 Glengariff Rd, Three Anchor Bay. Contact: 021 434 4011, 082 990 7949, kristaf@searescue.org.za or visit nsri.org.za Neighbourhood Old Age Homes (NOAH) comprise 12 independent old age homes and two assisted-living homes. They provide pensioners with affordable accommodation and support, run a clinic twice a week and collect medication from the local day hospital on the pensioners’ behalf. The independent

residents do their own cooking and take turns cleaning their homes. 19 Regent St, Woodstock. Contact: 021 447 6334, noahhse@noah.org.za or visit noah.org.za NICRO The organisation’s offender reintegration programmes facilitate the return of former offenders to their families and communities. These men and women often walk out of prison with nothing but their clothes, so NICRO helps with the basics. They also run Youth Diversion programmes. Monday–Friday, 8am–4pm. 1 Harrington St, Cape Town.

Contact: 021 422 1690, bev@nicro.co.za or visit nicro.org.za Ons Plek Projects This shelter is situated in the City Bowl and provides girls with an exit from street life. It seeks to integrate girls back into society and reunite them with their families or place them with screened foster families.

4 Albertus St, Cape Town. Contact: 021 465 4829, onsplek@new.co.za or visit onsplek.org.za Quaker Peace Centre The Quaker Peace Centre is a non-profit organisation dedicated to working towards building a safe, peaceful and equal

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society. It operates largely in the Cape Flats area and addresses issues that contribute to a high level of insecurity, and personal and institutional violence. The centre’s needs are varied and include the use of a campsite for their annual schools camp. 3 Rye Rd, Mowbray. Contact: 021 685 7800, qpc@qpc.org.za or visit quaker.org/capetown

SANCA Western Cape offers substance abuse prevention and counselling services. The group recently started a counselling programme for children called START. Counsellors use art material during the counselling process. 18 Karoo St, Bellville. Contact: 021 945 4080, sanca@sancawc.co.za or visit sancawc.co.za

assistance. Development services include the employment help desk, digital literacy training, an English school and a sewing studio while welfare services include trauma counselling and a soup kitchen.

Open Monday–Friday 9am–4:30pm and Saturday 9am–1pm. 47 Commercial St, Cape Town. Contact: 021 465 6433 or visit scalabrini.org.za

Rape Crisis Helderberg is committed to helping survivors of rape and abuse to overcome their trauma and provides counselling to people in the Helderberg basin and surrounds.

Cnr Batavia and Oldenland Rd, Somerset West. Contact: 021 850 4761, 083 484 9409 or visit crisiscentre.org.za

SANZAF A faith-based organisation which is recognised by Disaster Risk Management and the Office of the Mayor as an official service provider.

SANZAF’s core activity is the administration of the collection and distribution of Zakáh (a compulsory poor relief tax in Islamic countries). Its key strategy is the empowerment of communities through poverty alleviation, educational assistance and skills development.

Contact: 021 638 0965, 021 447 0297 or visit sanzaf.org.za

SCORE is an international nonprofit organisation that specialises in community development through sport and recreation. SCORE has built more than 45 multipurpose sports facilities for communities in four provinces. There is also a need for sports equipment, bags, balls and bats. Contact: 021 461 0466, stefan@score.org.za, info@score.org.za or visit score.org.za

Saint Kizito’s Children’s Programme (SKCP) was established in response to the desperate needs of orphans and vulnerable children in a number of communities throughout Cape Town, especially those affected and infected by HIV/Aids. Part of its approach is to empower volunteers from the target communities. Contact: 021 633 7701 or bndlovu@stkizito.org.za

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Scalabrini Centre of Cape Town With a team of 26 people and the rotational help of about 40 volunteers, Scalabrini Centre offers programmes dealing with welfare, training and

Shaster Foundation carries out community development work through its Indlovu Project in an informal settlement about 35km outside Cape Town. Monwabisi Park in Khayelitsha is home to some 20 000 people, who have been living in shacks without running water, proper sanitation or roads for over

12 years. Open Monday–Friday 8am–5pm.

87 Belvedere Rd, Claremont. Contact: 021 657 1026, 083 375 0988 or info@ shaster.org.za

Social Change Assistance Trust (SCAT) is a grantmaker that offers financial contributions to a host of rural organisations. Items needed would contribute to the early childhood development programmes offered by the various community-based organisations.

19 Loop St, 3rd Floor, Barry Streek House, Cape Town. Contact: 021 418 2575 or info@scat.org.za SOS Children’s Villages This is a private, charitable, social development organisation that is politically and denominationally independent.

SOS Children’s Villages build families for orphaned and abandoned children.

Eight to 10 children are cared for in small family-type homes, and are raised like brothers and sisters. The village also has a community-based family strengthening programme, which supports families in need. 17A Matopo Rd, Thornton (by appointment only). Contact: 021 531 9487

Cape Town’s

A little madness in the spring is wholesome even for the king.

– Emily Dickinson The Chaeli Campaign promotes and provides mobility and educational assistance to disabled children under 18 years old, for example, hearing aids, wheelchairs and laptop computers.

They also manage therapy programmes (physiotherapy/occupational therapy/ communication) in Ocean View and Masiphumelele. Chaeli Cottage, 18 Culm Rd, Plumstead. Contact: 0861 242 354, 082 700 3729 or visit chaelicampaign.co.za The Homestead (Projects for Street Children) is a registered non-profit organisation that addresses the needs of street children and their

Cape Town’s

families and helps children grow towards competence and self-confidence in their lives. This ranges from street work and intake shelters to more settled residential and educational care as well as family reconstruction services. 150 Strand St, Cape Town. Contact: 021 419 9763 or info@homestead.org.za The Smile Foundation is a nonprofit, international medical project that takes a multidisciplinary approach to helping children with congenital facial deformities, specifically cleft lip and palate defects. It assists the family and child, providing an atmosphere of support prior to, during and after surgery. A1 Montega, 95 Katherine St, Sandton. Contact: 087 808 8682, info@smilefoundationsa. org or visit thesmilefoundation.org The WHEAT Trust Women’s Fund The WHEAT Trust works with projects that help women at grass-roots level create small businesses and obtain education and training, such as opening a bank account or other skills that will assist them.

Contact: 021 762 6214, info@wheattrust. co.za or visit wheattrust.co.za

Volunteer Centre This organisation motivates and develops effective volunteering through consultation, training, information and placement services for the benefit of all. South Africa’s first Volunteer Centre started in Cape Town in 1979, as a project of the International Year of the Child. The Volunteer Centre team includes a management committee, paid staff and many more assistants. The youth centre campaigns to encourage a spirit of community participation and civic responsibility in young people.

124 Belvedere Rd, Claremont. Contact: 021 674 5338 or visit volcent.co.za Western Cape Association for Persons with Disabilities This team works to encourage and empower through counselling, group activities and community programmes. It focuses on giving attention to basic needs such as access to social grants and transport.

Social development services are provided by professionally registered social workers, community development workers, a professionally registered healthcare professional, volunteers and students in these fields. Open Monday–Thursday

8am–4:45pm and Friday 8am– 3:30pm. Reable Centre, 152 Tarentaal Rd, Bridgetown, Athlone. Contact: 021 637 1204/5, reable@iafrica.com or visit apd-wc.org.za Wildlife and Environment Society of South Africa (WESSA) This is a national, environmental, membershipbased non-government organisation that ensures environmental sustainability for current and future South African generations by building society’s environmental sensitivity and promoting public participation in caring for the earth.

31 The Sanctuary, off Pollsmoor Rd, Kirstenhof. Contact: 021 701 1397/8 or admin@wessa.co.za Work for Love is a communitybased organisation that connects and uplifts local communities through education and health care. Work for Love operates in the informal settlement of Masiphumelele near Kommetjie and Noordhoek. Office 2, Siyakhulisa Centre (Pink House), Masiphumelele. Contact: 021 789 1342, 072 682 7792, info@workforlove. co.za or visit workforlove.co.za

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books

a good read for toddlers

for preschoolers

Hello, Animals!, Hello, Bugs!, Hello, Let’s Go!, and Hello, World!

By Smriti Prasadam and Emily Bolam

The Elephant’s Child

By Rudyard Kipling and Geoffrey Patterson (Frances Lincoln Ltd, R106)

(Bloomsbury Publishing, R79) These four delightful board books introduce your baby to the world around him. They feature high-contrast, black-and-white patterns and a burst of colour on every page. Hello, Animals! and Hello, Bugs! feature noises that get young ones joining in, while Hello, Let’s Go! introduces your baby to 10 noisy vehicles with beep-beeps and zoom-zooms. In Hello, World! your baby can explore the familiar and friendly features of the world around him. This is a lovely series to introduce your baby to the world of books, words and sounds.

The Sleep Sheep

By Anna McQuinn and Hannah Shaw

Rudyard Kipling’s classic tale from the much-loved Just So Stories, is now available in paperback with fresh, vibrant illustrations by Geoffrey Patterson. “What does the crocodile have for dinner?” To find the answer to this vexing question, the elephant’s child, full of curiosity, leaves his uncles and aunts behind and journeys to the greygreen, greasy Limpopo River. This story, about how the elephant’s trunk became so long, has delighted children since 1902, when it first appeared, and Patterson’s illustrations enable even the youngest readers to enjoy the tale.

Tiddler – The story-telling fish

By Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler

(The Chicken House, R83) When Sylvie can’t get to sleep she tries counting sheep, but the sheep have other ideas: like dancing, rollerblading and swimming! Children aged three plus will delight in trying to keep up with the flock of wild and woolly sheep in this lovely bedtime story. Packed with funny detail to pore over, jokes to discover, and witty illustrations, this book is a wonderful new take on the familiar sleep-inducing tactic of counting sheep.

Anna McQuinn is an accomplished writer of more than 20 picture books, including the international best seller Lulu Loves the Library.

Hey! What’s that nasty Whiff?

By Julia Jarman and Garry Parsons (Scholastic Children’s Books, R134) Children that can read well, starter learners as well as very young children, who simply enjoy a good story and beautiful illustrations, will love this book. Jarman has cleverly integrated into this story facts about two of nature’s great recyclers, the hyena and the vulture. Helpful Hyena is tired of cleaning up everyone else’s mess, so she quits. But when the mess starts to pile up, her friends soon realise that it’s up to everybody to look after our planet.

(Scholastic Children’s Books, R101) The award-winning creators of The Gruffalo first published the story of Tiddler in 2007.

This fun story, which is full of colour and rhyme, is now available as a board book.

It’s the tale of Tiddler, who “wasn’t much to look at with his plain grey scales. But Tiddler was a fish with a big imagination.

He blew small bubbles but he told tall tales.” Tiddler is always late for school and always has a story to explain himself. One day, he gets caught in a fishing net, but because he’s only a tiddler, the fishermen dump him back in the sea – and now he’s lost, but can his stories save him? Children aged three to six will enjoy this book.

Monsters – An Owner’s Guide

By Jonathan Emmett and Mark Oliver (Macmillan Children’s Books, R90) With a Monstermatic toy your child can experience the thrill of caring for a huge half-crazed creature in the comfort of your home. This guide contains all he needs to know about assembling and operating his monstrously marvellous companion. This is a funny spoof user-guide, that covers everything from “monster identification” to “cleaning and care” and the important “do’s and don’ts”. It’s full of comic detail, humour and monster mayhem.

for early graders Bella Sara – The Ultimate Guide (HarperCollins Children’s Books, R120) This is a collector’s item for all the little girls that love the magical world of Bella Sara. The book details the beginnings of the Bella Sara story.

Children can learn facts about the legendary horses and are introduced to the marvels of this world. They can learn more about collecting the Bella Sara cards. Included is a guide to help them record the progress of their card collection.

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September 2010

an old favourite

Frightfully Friendly Ghosties

By Daren King (Quercus, R99) Frightfully Friendly Ghosties will not disappoint young readers. Tabitha Tumbly, Charlie Vapour, Rusty Chains and friends can’t understand why the “still-alives” are so mean. When Pamela Fraidy gets locked in the attic by a “still-alive”, the “ghosties” are determined to make the “still-alives” like them. But the friendlier they are, the meaner the “still-alives” become.

Cape Town’s

for preteens and teens

for us

Gladiators

By Toby Forward and Steve Noon

Secret Daughter

By Shilpi Somaya Gowda

(Walker Books, R226) For over 300 years, the gladiators of ancient Rome pitted their strength and skill against each other in the Colosseum. Children can re-live their feats with this book set. Included is a pop-up model of the Colosseum, as well as a map showing what the buildings were used for. They can explore the structure of the Colosseum and learn where its underground tunnels led. The book tells them what a day at the games was like for Roman citizens.

(HarperCollins Publishers, R140) On the eve of the monsoon, in a remote Indian village, Kavita gives birth to a baby girl. But in a culture that favours sons, the only way for her to save her daughter’s life is to give her away. It is a decision that will haunt her and her husband for the rest of their lives. Halfway across the globe, an American doctor, Somer, decides to adopt a baby after making the wrenching discovery that she will never have one of her own. She and her husband fall in love with a photo of the baby girl in Mumbai.

Interweaving the stories of Kavita, Somer and the child that binds both their destinies, the book explores the emotional terrain of motherhood, loss, identity and love.

Seven Sorcerers

By Caro King (Quercus, R102) Nin had never liked Wednesdays, but this one took the cake.

On this particular Wednesday she woke up to find that it was raining buckets and that her little brother, Toby, had ceased to exist. Nobody, except Nin, seems to remember him, so she sets off through the land of the Seven Sorcerers to find him. This is not just an ordinary fantasy story: King has created an interesting world in which people can stay alive on memory alone. The characters are intriguing, and her writing style witty.

proudly South African

Oli and Skipjack’s Tales of Trouble – Mirror Mischief

By Ceci Jenkinson

Awesome South Africa

By Derryn Campbell

(Faber and Faber, R89) The author, Ceci Jenkinson has learned a lot from her own two boys, and drew on this when creating the characters Oli and Skipjack, which makes them even more likable and believable.

They are rascals, but aren’t mean. When Oli accidentally turns the maths teacher (who punishes him because he can’t do fractions) into a vulture and Slugger Stubbins (who gives him a hard time on the rugby field) into a baboon, he really wants to turn back the spell, but doesn’t know how!

(Awesome SA Publishers, R250) This visual book about our beautiful country is packed full of information and fun. The entertaining and colourful compilation contains interesting facts and trivia about South Africa and its people. If you are South African, this book is guaranteed to stir feelings of pride and belonging. If you are not a local, then Awesome South Africa will provide you with a comprehensive overview of this unique, and sometimes crazy, country.

School Sorted in 2011 (SmartSkills, R199) It can be tough for learners to try and stay on top of the multitude of tasks and activities they have. This musthave school planner and skills-trainer will help your child manage his tasks and time.

There’s a tool to mark off which projects are required and when they should be done.

Other sections include a goal setting chart, test and exam planning table, a time table, useful contacts and a My Time planner.

It is currently available on the website, smartskills.co.za

Cloud Tea Monkeys

By Mal Peet and Elspeth Graham (Walker Books, R180) This old Himalayan tale has been reprinted, with beautiful artwork by Juan Wijngaard. Children aged six to 11 will enjoy the story of Tashi, who lives in a tiny village where her mother picks tea for a living.

When her mother falls ill, Tashi must pick tea in order to pay for the doctor. But she is too small to reach the tender shoots, and the cruel overseer sends her away empty-handed. Cloud Tea Monkey is a richly told tale full of vivid characters.

Cape Town’s

for parents Adjusting the Boundaries

By Anne Cawood

pick of the month

(Metz Press, R118) Aimed at families facing separation and divorce, this book will be helpful for parents confronted with the challenges of traumatic change and the need to adjust their family’s boundaries. Using her many years of practical experience in the field, highly regarded counsellor Anne Cawood will empower you to contain your children’s anxiety and feelings of insecurity, and to re-establish a measure of equilibrium as effectively as possible.

Cawood uses lots of case studies and deals with topics such as emotional support for you as a parent, how, when and where to inform your children in an age-appropriate way and co-parenting agreements.

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calendar

what’s on in september Things to do, places to go, ways to give back, talks and exhibitions plus loads of fun for the whole family. compiled by LUCILLE KEMP

18 sat

special events

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FUN for children

50

only for parents

52

bump, baby & tot in tow

53

how to help

54

SPECIAL EVENTS

46

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Tots n Pots Get your children baking cheese and sweet corn samoosas in this fun cooking and baking workshop.

Dirt at Kalk Bay Check out this hilarious one-man show after its successful run at the National Arts Festival in Grahamstown.

MeAMama Pram Hour With pram in hand, enjoy a delightfully different sort of antenatal class.

Santa Shoebox Project Prepare the family for the giving season by filling a decorated shoebox with goodies for the less fortunate.

September 2010

Cape Town’s

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

Spring into Fynbos Celebrate spring in the fynbos with plant sales, art and crafts, food and fynbos walks.

Cape Town’s

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calendar Congregational Church, 32 Markham Rd, Claremont. Cost: R20. Contact Joanne: 073 544 8265 or visit eccc.org.za The Language of Miracles workshop with animal whisperer Amelia Kinkade.

Families will learn how to understand and communicate with their animals, discovering what their animal really wants, needs, feels, and thinks. Amelia is an international speaker and the author of Straight from the Horse’s Mouth: How to Talk to Animals and Get Answers and The Language of Miracles. Ends 5 September. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Equine Estate, Gordon’s Bay. Cost: R1 000 (4 September), R1 800 (5 September).

Contact Sandy: 082 372 3388 or sandy@ deltaenviro.org.za

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 wednesday Clanwilliam Wild Flower Show Catch the last day of the show where more than 400 flower species will be exhibited.

Time: 8:30am–6pm. Venue: Dutch Reformed (Flower) Church. Cost: adults R25, pensioners R20 and children R5.

Contact Cecily: 027 482 2541 or cecilym@ telkomsa.net Secretaries’ Day ladies lunch hosted

by Reach for a Dream Foundation Western Cape. Guests are treated to delicious tapas as well as comic, musical entertainment, and a gift bag. Time: noon–3pm. Venue: Protea Hotel Fire and Ice. Cost: R250. Contact: 021 555 3013 to book

2 thursday

4 saturday

Cannons Creek Wine Auction with cheese and wine tasting for adults only.

Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Pinelands Town Hall, St Stephens Rd, Pinelands. Cost: R60.

Contact Wendy: 021 531 0912 or Terri: 021 531 5011 or visit cannonscreek.co.za Zip Zap dinner-show auction Time: 7pm. Venue: Zip Zap Dome, Foreshore.

Cost: R1 000. Contact: 021 421 8622 or info@zip-zap.co.za Homemakers Expo showcases décor, accessories, and features a green living exhibition. Ends 5 September. Venue: CTICC. For times and cost contact: 086 111 4663 or visit homemakersonline.co.za

A natural approach to family health workshop Sister Lilian shares easy-toimplement ways of becoming actively involved in the wellbeing of your family.

Time: 9am–noon. Venue: tbc. Cost: R150.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Amanda Tiffen performs at the Rainbow Room Time: 8pm. Venue: The Rainbow Room, Mandela Rhodes Place, Church St. Cost: R50. Contact: 021 422 1428, events@therainbowexperience.co.za or visit webtickets.co.za Franschhoek Uncorked Wine farms throughout the valley showcase new vintages and releases, coinciding with the onset of spring. Time: 9am–5pm, with some evening events. Venue: participating wine farms. Cost: R80, which includes a tasting glass and an access card that entitles you to unlimited wine tastings throughout the weekend, excluding events.

For the list of participating wine farms and activities visit franschhoek.org.za or book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Kommetjie Primary School International Food Fair Sample the delights from countries around the globe. Time: 5:30pm. Venue: Teubes Rd, Kommetjie. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 783 2973 or 021 783 2407 KTV Market Day Support young entrepreneurs between the ages of

3 friday Botriviera Spring Weekend Wine estates celebrate spring and rosé by hosting a pink event with food, competitions, tastings and activities. Entertainment includes a polo match, fly fishing, pink paintball games and a pink party at the Bot River Hotel on Saturday evening. Ends 5 September.

Time: Friday 6pm, Saturday 9am–5pm and Sunday 9am–3pm. Venue: wineries in Bot River will be landmarked by pink barrels at their entrance. Cost: varies. R50 for the frothy pink party on Saturday night. For more info: visit botriverwines.co.za Dress for Laughs on Casual Day and support people with disabilities. Also buy Casual Day merchandise. For more info: visit casualday.co.za

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September 2010

5 sunday

9–12 September – Thriller live!

6 and 15 years with products to sell and don’t miss the M-Net Young Stars talent competition. Time: 10am–2pm.

Venue: Promotions Court, Canal Walk Shopping Centre. Cost: free. Contact Patti: 083 310 9765 or patti@finewomen.co.za Paediatric first aid for parents and au pairs Three-hour course covering CPR, paediatric first aid and child safety. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: Deer Park Café.

Cost: R300. Contact: 072 972 2038 or karin@supernannies.co.za The Joy of Motherhood community outreach For tips on healthy living. Time: 9:45am–12:30pm. Venue: East Claremont

18 and 19 September – Pianist David Helfgott

Antiques Fair Browse the aisles for unique treasures and finds. Time: 9:30am–5pm.

Venue: V&A Waterfront Craft Market & Wellness Centre. Cost: free. Contact Martin: 021 408 7621 The Kirstenbosch Botanical Art Biennale features botanical art by artists from around the country. Ends 24 September. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Old Mutual Conference Centre, Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden. Cost: free. Contact SANBI: 021 799 8783 or kirstenboschinfo@sanbi.org.za

6 monday Learn to run 10km or 21,1km OptiFit and the Sports Science Institute of SA have developed safe, hands-on training programmes to teach you to run either 10km or 21,1km distances. On joining either programme, you will attend an introductory workshop and receive a log book, a threemonth Runner’s World subscription and a New Balance discount voucher. Dietary or running shoe, fitness and health assessments will be conducted. You will be trained by qualified sports scientists during the weekly sessions. Time: 6 September: 21,1km eightweek programme and 20 September: 10 km 12-week course starts. For venue and cost details contact: 021 659 5631, 082 871 7656, kmcquaide@ssisa.com or ccoupar@ssisa.com National Book Week encourages reading, particularly among children. The official opening takes place at Museum Africa in

Cape Town’s

Newtown, Johannesburg, where children’s activities focus on reading promotion, seminars, exhibitions and book launches.

Books for the visually impaired will also be discussed and available. Ends 13 September.

For more info: visit sabookcouncil.co.za Rumpelstiltskin The tale of the hunchbacked gnome is brought to life by the Lilliput Players. Ends 17 September.

Time: 9:30am and 10:45am. Venue: Baxter Theatre. Cost: R35. Contact Elton: 021 558 2650 or 083 364 8284

9 thursday Drama for Life Festival appropriately introduces the topic of sex to your children through dance, workshops, poetry, exhibitions and interventions. Ends 11 September. Time: tbc. Venue: Hiddingh Campus, UCT, Orange St, Gardens. Cost: free. Contact Lonwabo: 072 906 0155 or Levinia: 083 745 8859, lonwabo.mavuso@ wits.ac.za or levinia.jones@wits.ac.za Thriller Live It’s time to wear your white sequinned glove, take out your trilby and prepare to be blown away with this high octane song, dance and video spectacular celebrating the music and career of Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5. Ends 12 September. Venue: GrandWest Casino.

Time: Thursday and Friday 8pm, Saturday 2pm and 8pm, Sunday 2pm and 6pm.

Cost: R150, R200, R250 or R300. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.co.za

10 friday Look and Feel Good Expo Restore your energy levels and invest in your personal wellbeing at this comprehensive health, wellness and lifestyle event.

Ends 12 September. Time: Friday 11am– 6pm, Saturday and Sunday 10am– 6pm. Venue: CTICC. Cost: R65, free for children under 12 years. Contact Leigh: 011 869 9153 SPCA Golf Day with Rassie Erasmus Time: 9am. Venue: Royal Cape Golf Club, Ottery. Cost: call to enquire. Contact: 021 700 4180/41 or events@spca-ct.co.za

11 saturday Staalwater Mountain Bike Challenge An easy 15km mountain bike ride for children (7 years and older) and

Cape Town’s

beginners, and a more challenging 30km route for adults. Time: 9:15am.

Venue: The Caledon Casino, Hotel & Spa, Overberg. Cost: R50–R100. Contact: 021 884 4752, theteam@dirtopia.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za

13 monday Everything’s Rosie premieres on CBeebies New girl in town Rosie has a series of adventures with her colourful group of friends, embarking on journeys of discovery, fun and everyday conundrums.

Time: 7:45am and 3:45pm on CBeebies (channel 306 on DStv)

14 tuesday ADHD Awareness Day ADHASA invites learners with ADHD in various age categories to take part in the ADHASA Essay Competition and stand the chance to win a laptop. Children must relate how ADHD can be to their advantage and help them either in their ordinary life or as a superhero. Entrance fee is R20. Essays can be written in English, Afrikaans, Sotho or Zulu and must be posted to PO Box 3704, Randburg, 2125, faxed to 086 604 7124 or emailed to adhasa@telkomsa.net. Please include name of child, age, email address, telephone number, and which school they attend. Closing date is 31 August. ADHASA also appeals to schools to hold a civvies day, allowing learners to wear at least one item of blue or green clothing on the day, and to confirm their participation with ADHASA. If your school is holding a civvies day please make a donation to ADHASA of R5 per child. For more info: 011 888 7655, adhasa@telkomsa.net or visit adhasa.co.za

15 wednesday Grapes, Gourmet and Gallery is the perfect evening for art-lovers with a passion for wining and dining. Guests can enjoy wines from the Cederberg, paired with a five-course gourmet feast, and marvel at art pieces by Pierre Florenchie from the Patrice Boussekey Eclectic Art Gallery. Time: 7pm for 7:30pm. Venue: Winchester Mansions, 221 Beach Rd, Sea Point. Cost: R345. Contact Kathryn: 021 434 2351, harveys@winchester.co.za or visit winchester.co.za

17 friday 50-hour sports challenge Ends 19 September. Non-stop sport for 50 hours with the aim of highlighting the importance of physical activity in a child’s life. Ideal for ages 9–13 years. Time: starts Friday 2pm, ends Sunday 4pm. Venue: Western Province Cricket Club Sports Centre, off Ave de Mist, Rondebosch. Cost: free. Contact: 021 683 7299 or events@sportingchance.co.za Chic Mamas Do Care fashion exchange party Time: 10am–2pm. Venue: Tokai Library. Cost: free entry or you may donate a book. Contact Abigel: 083 715 9308 or mamas@chicmamasdocare.org.za The Karate Kid premieres Twelve-yearold Dre Parker (played by Will Smith’s son Jaden) could have been the most popular child in Detroit, but his mother’s latest career move has landed him in China. With no friends in a strange land, Dre is bullied and turns to maintenance man Mr Han (Jackie Chan), who is a master of kung fu, for help. Han teaches Dre that kung fu is not about punches and parries, but maturity and calm. Showing at all major cinemas.

Twilight Tales Children aged 4–10 years are invited to put on their PJs, take their teddy and enjoy traditional storytelling.

Time: 6pm–7pm. Venue: Erin Hall, 8 Erin Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: R30. Contact: Gilly 082 872 4512 or Lisa: 083 644 4980

18 saturday Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam premieres on Disney Channel A full-out rock ’n roll musical sequel that celebrates music, dance and the freedom of summer starring the Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato.

Time: 9am on Disney Channel (DStv channel 303)

23–26 September – Paarl Cultivaria

Entrance exams at the Deutsche Internationale Schule Kapstadt for current Grade 4 learners. Time: 10am– 12:30pm. Venue: 28 Bay View Avenue, Tamboerskloof. Contact: 021 480 3830 or sek@dsk.co.za or visit dsk.co.za Pianist David Helfgott tours Also 19 September. Venue: Cape Town City Hall. Cost: R145–R255. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Spring into fynbos Celebrate spring in the fynbos with plant sales, arts and crafts, food, fynbos walks, talks and a host of children’s activities. Time: 10am–4pm.

Venue: Good Hope Nursery, Plateau Rd (M65), Scarborough. Cost: free. Contact Roushanna: 021 780 9299, 072 234 4804, fynbosplants@xsinet.co.za or visit capepoint.com

21 tuesday Paarl Mall Young Picasso’s Art Exhibition Ends 26 September. Young primary school artists (Grade 1–7) have the opportunity to exhibit their artwork and sculptures. . Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: main courts throughout Paarl Mall. Cost: free. Contact Sandra: 021 863 5360 or visit paarlmall.co.za

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calendar

23 thursday Greyton Children’s Festival The town’s first children’s festival celebrates all that is wonderful about living in this beautiful Overberg village. There will be four days of workshops, performances and events for children of all ages. Ends 26 September. For a full programme, visit greytonchildrensfestival.co.za The Paarl Cultivaria This fest with finesse kicks off with a black-tie dinner and continues with a jam-packed programme of music performances, theatre productions, dance shows, comedy, classical music, art and food demonstrations. Young ones are catered for with a fun-filled programme of shows and activities at the children’s theatre. Ends 26 September. Time: Thursday 7pm–Sunday 7pm. Venue: various parts of Paarl. Cost: R90–R140. Contact: 021 872 9754 or visit cultivaria.com

24 friday Around the world fiesta is a celebration involving different foods from across the globe, from local South African potjie to India’s hot curries and a variety of beers.

Time: 8am–6pm. Venue: The New Orleans Park, Paarl. Cost: adults R20, children R10.

Tasting tickets cost R200, which includes a goodie bag with a bottle of wine, chocolates, biltong, nuts and dried fruits.

Contact: 083 692 2201 Earthwave Beach Festival offers a weekend of fun in the sun and features an

The River Club, Observatory. Cost: adults R295, teenagers 13–19 years R95. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com. For more info: visit equalzeal.com

28 tuesday Spring Health and Beauty Fair Ends 4 October. Venue: throughout N1 City Mall. Cost: free. Contact Bronwyn: 021 595 1170

FUN FOR CHILDREN 18 September – Camp Rock premieres

attempt to break the Guinness World Record for the most surfers riding the same wave.

There will be longboard surfing and standup-paddle boarding events with plenty of competitions, prizes and giveaways for children and adults. The event promotes awareness of climate change and sustainable lifestyles. Ends 26 September. Time: 9am– 4pm. Venue: Surfer’s Corner, Muizenberg Beach. Cost: free for spectators, R50 to participate in the Guinness World Record attempt. Contact Lisa: 021 783 4965, lisa@ kahunasurf.co.za or visit kahunasurf.co.za Jeff Dunham live He is known for his characters that are hilariously, politically incorrect. Also 25 September. Time: 8pm.

Venue: Grand Arena, GrandWest. Cost: R200–R500. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.co.za

25 saturday The Under Covers perform their own material as well as an eclectic mix of songs by the likes of Fleet Foxes, PJ Harvey, Coldplay and Neil Young. Time: 3:30pm–6pm. Venue: Junction off the M66 and M65, bottom of Redhill Rd, 3km past Scarborough. Cost: R50/R40 students, under 12 free. Contact Taryn: 021 780 1246

26 sunday Equal Zeal road show elevates the importance of healthy, well-balanced lifestyles in families. This family seminar connects children and their parents to healthy information, products and services that will enable them to make informed decisions about their everyday lives and their future. Time: 9am. Venue:

art, culture and science Clay Café Let your children explore their artistic talent and produce their own masterpieces. Time: Monday–Friday 9am– 5pm, Saturday and Sunday 9am–4pm.

Venue: Hout Bay. Cost: varies. Contact: 021 790 3318 or visit chasms.co.za Davy Dragon’s Guide to the Night Sky Playful introduction to astronomy especially for children aged 5–10 years. Time: noon.

Venue: Iziko Planetarium. Cost: adults R20, children R6. Contact: 021 481 3800 or visit iziko.org.za Weekend sand-art workshops Your child can make his own rainbow-coloured sand card. For children 4 years and older.

Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Tokai Porter Estate Farmers’ Market. Cost: R20 per card made. Contact Lana: 072 931 2344 or sandarthoutbay@yahoo.com

family marketplace

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Cape Town’s

classes, talks and workshops Drama for Life Festival 9–11 September.

Time: tbc. Venue: Hiddingh Campus, UCT, Orange St, Gardens. Cost: free. Contact Lonwabo: 072 906 0155 or Levinia: 083 745 8859, lonwabo.mavuso@wits. ac.za or levinia.jones@wits.ac.za Grow a Tale: Conscious Kids’ workshop incorporates developing a child’s communication skills and teaching relaxation techniques. Dates tbc. Time: 9am–noon. Venue: tbc. Cost: R120. For bookings contact Lisa: 083 644 4980 or lisa@growatale.co.za Kidz Take Over (KTO) drama courses for energetic, passionate young performers who want to showcase their acting talents, learn new skills and have fun. To enrol in this course, log on to kto.co.za. Contact Fiona: 083 206 3885 or fiona@kto.co.za Little Cooks Club Toddler cooking classes for 2 – 7 years. Time: Tuesday and Thursday 2:30pm–3:30pm. Venue: Little Cooks Club Durbanville, 3 Vlei Street, Aurora, Durbanville. Cost: R80 per lesson per child and R75 per lesson for siblings.

Contact Lisa: 073 227 3404 or lisab@ littlecooksclub.co.za Tots n Pots Fun-filled, hands-on cooking and baking workshop. Week of 6 September: baked cheese and sweet corn samoosas. Week of 13 September: caramel and banana pinwheel. Time: 2–3 year olds Tuesday 10am–11am, 3–6 year olds Wednesday 2:30pm–3:30pm, 2–10 year

Cape Town’s

olds Saturday 9am–10am. Venue: Daisies Coffee Shop, The Garden Shop, Doordrift Rd, Constantia. Cost: R480 for six weeks, or R640 for eight weeks. Contact Chene: 083 649 7405, chene@totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com

finding nature and outdoor play Full moon hike Hike Klapmutskoppie for wonderful views before the long weekend.

Time: 5:30pm. Venue: Delvera Farm, R44 near Stellenbosch. Cost: varies. Contact: 021 884 4752, theteam@dirtopia.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za Spring splendour of Table Mountain Two children under the age of 18 years travel free when accompanied by a full paying adult. This offer is valid over weekends, public and September school holidays until 31 October 2010. Time: first car up 8:30am, last car up 5pm, last car down 6pm. Venue: Table Mountain Cableway. Cost: R160 per adult return (until 30 September 2010), R180 per adult return (valid from 1 October 2010). Contact: 021 424 8181 or visit tablemountain.net

village green. Cost: some activities free.

Workshops range from R50–R100. Contact Janet: 028 341 0340, ask@stanfordinfo. co.za or visit stanfordinfo.co.za

holiday activities Artjamming holiday programme 27 September–1 October. Time: Monday– Friday 10am–12:30pm, Venue: Cape Quarter and Willowbridge. Cost: R120 per person includes box canvas, all supplies and a snack pack. Contact Cape Quarter: 021 447 0355 or Willowbridge: 021 914 9224 or visit artjamming.co.za Bizzy Bodies holiday programme Monday and Thursday: baking, Tuesday: face painting, Wednesday: painting and play dough or claywork, Friday and Saturday: sand art (afternoon only). Monday 27

September–2 October. Time: 11am–noon or 3pm–4pm. Venue: Westlake Business Park. Cost: call to enquire. Contact: visit bizzybodies.co.za Buffalo Drift Kids Camp An unforgettable, action packed 3 and 5 day adventure camp on a riverside farm in Porterville. For children 8–13 years. Time: Camp 1 starts 26 September ends 29 September. Camp 2 (five-day) starts 26 September ends 1 October. Venue: Buffalo Drift, Ruigtevlei Farm, R44, Porterville. Cost: 5 day camp R1 750 per child, 3 day camp R1 000 per child. Contact Joy: 082 258 3764, joy@ buffalodrift.co.za or visit buffalodrift.co.za Gold of Africa Museum holiday programme Children ages 7–12 years discover the music, stories, games and art of West Africa in four creative days. Children

family outings Let’s Twitch Again Stanford bird fair build up Daily activities for children like scarecrow building, recycled art workshops, colouring-in competitions, games, treasure hunts and pony-cart rides. 24 September–3 October. Time: 9am–sunset. Venue: Stanford

Kidz Take Over drama courses

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51

calendar must bring their own drink and snack for the break. Time: 9am–noon. Venue: Gold of Africa Museum. Cost: R50 per day, including all materials. Contact: 021 405 1540 or museum@goldofafrica.com Kidzville at Tyger Valley Centre Free drop-and-shop zone for parents with children between 3–10 years. 24 September–3 October. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Tyger Valley Centre. Cost: free. Contact: info@ tygervalley.co.za or visit tygervalley.co.za Kirstenbosch Nature Explorers holiday programme features animal stories, discovery in the garden, camouflage, tracking and games for children 5–10 years. Pack a warm top, rain jacket, hat, sun cream, walking shoes, snack, water bottle and day pack. 27, 28 and 30 September and 1 October. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Kirstenbosch Gardens.

Cost: R250 for a two-day adventure.

Contact Alex: 076 657 1899 or visit naturenetwork.co.za Two Oceans Aquarium All year round, visiting the aquarium is a great family outing. Become a member for extra benefits.

Cost: adults R94, children under four years free, 4–13 years R45 and 14–17 years R73. Contact: 021 418 3823, aquarium@ aquarium.co.za or visit aquarium.co.za

markets Alphen Antiques and Collectables Fair Runs the second and fourth Sunday of every month. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: Alphen Centre, Constantia. Cost: free entry. Contact Des: 084 626 7499 or visit antiqueking.co.za Country market in Montagu Find local and handmade items as well as the best real country breakfast under the trees at the outdoor restaurant, Tin Plate Ontbyt.

Time: 8:30am–12:30pm every Saturday.

Venue: Euvrard Park, Bath St, Montagu (opposite the tourism bureau). Cost: free.

Contact: 023 614 2471 Earth Fair Market Time: every Saturday 9am–2:30pm and every Wednesday 3pm– 8pm. Venue: South Palms, Tokai Main Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact Jacqui: 084 220 3856 or info@earthfairmarket.co.za Fresh produce market takes place on the second Saturday of every month.

Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Jan van Riebeeck Primary School, next to Lifestyle Centre in Kloof St. To reserve a table, contact: 084 880 8757. For more info: visit wellnesswarehouse.com Holistic Lifestyle Fair Held on the first Sunday of every month. Time: 10am–4pm.

Venue: Observatory Community Centre, Observatory, off Station and Lower Main Rd and Drake St. Cost: adults R8, children under 16 free. Contact: 021 788 8088 Hout Bay Craft Market Held every Sunday. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: Hout Bay common. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 850 9752 Kalk Bay Fresh etc Market Held on the third Sunday of every month. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Kalk Bay Community Centre, Main Rd, Kalk Bay. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 021 788 8088, 083 332 9785 or ericak@mweb.co.za Milnerton Flea Market Held every Saturday and Sunday. Time: 7am–

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4pm. Venue: Otto du Plessis Dr, Paarden Eiland. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit mita.co.za Nitida’s Farmers’ Market 25 September.

Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: Nitida Cellars, Durbanville Hills. Cost: free entry. Contact Getha: 021 976 1467, 083 651 0699 or getha@nitida.co.za Porter Estate Produce Market Every Saturday, weather permitting. Time: 9am– 1pm. Venue: Tokai. Proceeds go to charity.

Cost: R5 per car. Contact: 082 334 5434, 082 823 4121, office@pepmarket.co.za or visit pepmarket.co.za Stellenbosch Fresh Goods Market Held every Saturday. Time: 9am–2pm.

Venue: Oude Libertas, Stellenbosch. Cost: free. Contact: 021 886 8514, admin@ slowmarket.co.za or visit slowmarket.co.za Timour Hall Road Organic Market Held every Saturday. Time: 9:30am–noon.

Venue: Christian Community Centre, Timour Hall Rd, Plumstead. Cost: free entry.

Contact: rdo@telkomsa.net V&A Craft Market and Wellness Centre Time: 9am–6pm daily. Venue: V&A Waterfront. Cost: free. Contact: 021 408 7842, info@waterfront.co.za or visit waterfront.co.za Waldorf Organic Food Market Every Saturday. Time: 8am–1pm.

Venue: Tweefontein Farm, Technopark, Stellenbosch. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 880 1039, stellenbosch@waldorfschool. org.za or visit waldorfschool.org.za Willowbridge Slow Market Held every Saturday. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Willowbridge Lifestyle Centre, Carl Cronjé Dr, Durbanville. Cost: free. Contact: 021 886 8514, admin@slowmarket.co.za or visit slowmarket.co.za

on stage and screen Mamma Mia! Experience the irresistible storytelling magic of Abba’s timeless songs.

Ends 19 September. Time: varies. Venue: Artscape Opera House. Cost: R180–R380.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 Night on the Town Wynberg Boys High School perform with their many bands. 10– 12 September. Time: Friday 8pm, Saturday 11am and 6:30pm and Sunday 3pm.

Venue: Masque Theatre, Muizenburg. Cost: R50–R60. Contact: 021 788 1898 Rumpelstiltskin 6–17 September. Time: 9:30am and 10:45am. Venue: Baxter Theatre. Cost: R35. Contact Elton: 021 558 2650 or 083 364 8284 The Karate Kid premieres on 17 September at all major cinemas

playtime and story time Bloubergstrand library story time certain Mondays and Wednesdays for 10 – 15 minutes. Call to enquire. Ideal for 8 and 9 year olds but the library does accommodate older children. Time: from 3pm. Venue: Andrew Foster Rd, Bloubergstrand. Cost: free. Contact: 021 554 1641 Book Lounge Time: every Saturday 11am.

Venue: 71 Roeland St, Cape Town. Cost: free. Contact: 021 462 2425, booklounge@ gmail.com or visit booklounge.co.za Brackenfell library story time Every Wednesday, excluding school holidays.

Activities included. For children 3 years

Story time at the library

Seapoint library story time every Wednesday 10am–11am for preschoolers and younger. Venue: Main Rd, Glengarriff.

Please bring a photocopy of the baby’s birth certificate to become members of the library.

Contact: 021 439 7440/1 Somerset West library story time For times, contact children’s librarian Paige: 021 850 4458 or 021 850 4526/7 The Butterfly Project helps children and teens through music, art, storytelling and play therapy. The sessions are also great for disabled, depressed and traumatised children and teens aged 4–16 years. Time: Monday– Friday, 3pm–6pm. Venue: 14 Mayfair Ave, Newlands. Cost: R180 per hour.

Contact Margi: 083 737 8386 or cmblack@ mweb.co.za The Playshed nanny mornings Thursday mornings throughout September and October. All nannies that bring children younger than 5 years to play get free coffee and a muffin. Time: 9am–noon. Venue: The Playshed, Alexandra Rd, Oude Molen Eco Village, Pinelands. Cost: special rate R50 for two hours. Contact Jeanne or Madré: 021 801 0141/2 or playshed@ gmail.com

and older, will accept younger children.

Time: 10:30am–11:30am. Venue: Paradys St. Cost: free. Contact: 021 980 1261 Durbanville library story time First Thursday of the month. Time: 10:30am– 11am. Venue: Oxford Rd. Cost: free.

Contact: 021 970 3094 Eikendal library story time every Tuesday and Thursday. Time: 10:30–11:30am. Venue: Van Riebeeck Way, Kraaifontein. Cost: free.

Contact: 021 980 6160 Folio Books story time Suitable for children aged 3–9 years. 4 September.

Time: 10.30am. Venue: Folio Books, 207 sport and physical activities Main Rd, Newlands, opposite Westerford African Brothers Enrol your child in High. Cost: free. Contact: 021 685 7190 or soccer lessons. Contact Ben: 072 650 7676, foliobooks@storm.co.za Lynell: 071 876 8026, abfamarketing@ Hout Bay library story time every gmail.com or visit africanbrothers.co.za Friday for children 2–5 years. They normally Meridian Hiking Club offers a range of show a movie after the story. Time: 10am– day hikes, weekends away, weekend trails, 11am. Venue: Melkhout Crescent. Cost: longer trails and conservation activities. free. Contact: 021 790 2150 Contact: meridian@meridian.org.za or visit Jimmy Jungles Indoor Adventure meridian.org.za Playground Time: Monday–Sunday 9am.

Staalwater Mountain Bike Challenge Venue: Bellville and Claremont. Cost: from 11 September. Time: starts 9:15am.

R35. Contact: 021 914 1705 or info@ Venue: The Caledon Casino, Hotel & jimmyjungles.co.za Spa, Overberg. Cost: R50–R100. Contact: Kidz Playzone Time: Tuesday–Saturday 021 884 4752, theteam@dirtopia.co.za or 9am–4:30pm, Sunday and public holidays visit dirtopia.co.za 9:30am–2pm. Venue: Durbanville Business Sunscene Outdoor Adventures For Park, off Klipheuwel Rd, Durbanville. Cost: surfing, sandboarding and adventure from R20. Contact Bev: 021 979 4872, courses. For more info: 021 783 0203, 084 575 2546 or bev@kidzplayzone.co.za 084 352 4925, info@sunscene.co.za or visit Kloof Street library story hour Monday sunscene.co.za 3pm–3:30pm (ages 2 and older), 3:30pm– 3:45pm (0–2 years). Tuesday 9:30am– only for parents 10am (0–2 years) with a little Afrikaans thrown in. Contact: 021 424 3308 Kraaifontein library Afrikaans and classes, talks and workshops English story time for children from 2–10 Bergvliet High continuing education years. Call Nelia to enquire beforehand. programme for adult skills development.

Time: Wednesday 10am. Venue: Brighton Time: varies. Venue: Bergvliet High School, Rd. Contact: 021 980 6209 Firgrove Way, Bergvliet. Cost: call to Noordhoek Farm Village is running enquire. For a course programme contact children’s activities on 4, 11, 18 and 25 Katharine: 021 712 0979, kathy.miles@ September. Enquire about Zoomball Sundays ananzi.co.za or visit bhs.org.za from 1pm–5pm. Time: 10:30am–12:30pm.

Creative Parenting Workshop Venue: The Bandstand, Noordhoek Parents can learn about the creative Farm Village, cnr development of your child. 11 Main Road and September. Time: 9:30am–5pm.

Village Lane Cost: Venue: Frank Joubert Art Centre, free. Contact: 021 Keurboom Rd, Newlands. Cost: 789 2812 or visit R800 (covers all materials). Contact noordhoekvillage.co.za Gabby: gabby@circlestories.co.za Rondebosch library Discipline for Peace Workshop story time every Venue: 55 O’Okiep Rd, Rondebosch Wednesday and Friday East. Cost: R920 per person, T he Butterfly for preschoolers from 3–5 R1 500 per couple. To book Project years. Time: 10am. Venue: contact: 021 696 1946, sms 076 St Andrews Rd. Contact: 021 689 1100 303 5324 or karoy@mweb.co.za Cape Town’s

Invasives of the Floral Kind talk How invasive alien plants transform our landscape and the steps being taken to limit their influence. 22 September. Time: 8pm. Venue: SACS School, Newlands.

Cost: R20. Contact Eleanor: 021 762 1779 or visit capenaturalhistoryclub.co.za Kirstenhof Dance and Pilates Studio is offering adult ballet classes every Wednesday. Time: 6:30pm. Beginners pilates class starts 2 September 6pm.

Venue: 14 Windhover St, Kirstenhof.

Cost: call to enquire. Contact Liane: 021 701 2750 or 082 739 0100 Learn CPR and save a life For parents, childminders and au pairs. 4 and 18 September. Time: 10am–noon. Venue: Pinelands. Cost: R220. Contact Lee-Ann: 021 531 4182 or 072 283 7132 Left-handed learning teachers and parents workshop Designed to help educators and therapists understand the differences for a left-handed child in the classroom, to learn about international research, strategies and guidelines for teaching left-handed children and to be aware of possible learning problems associated with left-handedness. Applies to children aged 3–7 years. Time: registration from 9:15am, workshop 9:30am–12:30pm. Venue: tbc.

Cost: R220. Contact: 072 300 7066 or programmes@lefthandlearning.co.za Medi-Clinic CPR training for parents and caregivers. Time: 4 September and 18 September 9am–1pm. Venue: 4 September:

Constantiaberg Medi-Clinic. 18 September: Milnerton Medi-Clinic. Cost: R250. Contact Pec: 021 797 2342 Nanny and au pair training course Learn to care for newborns to toddlers during an intensive one-day hands-on, interactive learning session. 18 and 25 September 9am–3pm. Contact Laeeqah: 073 387 7381 or childcareathome@ ymail.com Network at Nine Network group for small home-based businesses and entrepreneurs.

6 September. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: tbc. Contact Carol: 021 671 0364, 084 990 0244 or carol.rasmussen@telkomsa.net Paediatric first aid for parents and au pairs Three-hour course covering CPR, paediatric first aid and child safety. 4 September. Time: tbc. Venue: Baby clinic above Deer Park Café. Cost: R300. Contact: karin@supernannies.co.za Spring health and beauty fair highlights the latest trends in beauty and health. 28 September–4 October. Time: Monday–Friday 9am–7pm. Saturday and Sunday: 9am–5pm. Venue: throughout N1 City Mall. Cost: free. Contact Bronwyn: 021 595 1170.

Spring makeover for mommy Join the one-hour session in a private studio and learn great exercises to increase your energy, and help you firm up and keep up with the new addition to the family.

11 September. Time: 10am–11am. Venue: Claremont. Cost: free. To book contact Paul: 079 173 6414 Sugar and Spice Kidsplay Workshop Fun-filled, hands-on sessions teach a range of creative activities for toddlers. 18 September. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: 65 Somerset Rd, Green Point. Cost: R400.

They will bring the course to you for a group of four or more. Contact Kirsten: kmcintosh@telkomsa.net, 083 406 0028 or visit nannytraining.co.za

on stage and screen

Left-handed learning workshop

Cape Town’s

Amanda Tiffen performs at the Rainbow Room Time: 8pm. Venue: The Rainbow Room, Mandela Rhodes Place, Church St. Cost: R50. Contact: 021 422 1428, events@therainbowexperience.co.za or visit webtickets.co.za Dirt at the Kalk Bay Theatre A comical one-man show by James Cairns featuring

three characters on a road trip together.

Theatre-goers can enjoy a light meal before the show. 25 August–11 September. Time: doors open 6:30pm, show starts 8:30pm.

Venue: Kalk Bay Theatre. Cost: R100. To book and for further information, contact: 073 220 5430 or visit kbt.co.za Human Voice/A Woman Alone Ingrid Wylde and a telephone runs the gamut of female emotions. 2–4 September. Time: Thursday 8pm, Friday 8pm and Saturday 2:30pm and 6:30pm. Venue: Masque Theatre. Cost: R50–R60. Contact: 021 788 1898 Jeff Dunham live, 24 and 25 September.

Time: 8pm. Venue: Grand Arena, GrandWest. Cost: R200–R500. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.co.za Natalia da Roche in Cabaret by the Fish Hoek Dramatic Society. 16 and 17 September. Time: Friday 8pm and Saturday 6:30pm. Venue: Masque Theatre, Muizenberg Cost: R50–R60. Contact: 021 788 1898 Station 70 This musical is a tribute to the ‘70s, a time of rock and disco, hippies, bellbottomed jeans and platform shoes. Ends 18 September. Time: Wednesday–Saturday 8pm for 8:30pm. Venue: Roxy Revue Bar, GrandWest Casino, Goodwood. Cost: R67.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.co.za

out and about Grapes, Gourmet and Gallery is a culinary and visual journey. Time: 7pm for 7:30pm. Venue: Winchester Mansions, 221 Beach Rd, Sea Point. Cost: R345.

Contact Kathryn: 021 434 2351, harveys@ winchester.co.za or visit winchester.co.za Group exhibition entitled New at 34FineArt Gallery featuring refreshing new works from Europe and the UK. Ends 5 October. Time: Tuesday–Friday 10:34am– 4:34pm, Saturday 10:34am–1:34pm.

Venue: 34FineArt Gallery, second floor, Hills Building, Buchanan Square, 160 Sir Lowry Rd, Woodstock. Cost: free entry. Contact Andries: 082 354 1500, info@34fineart. com or visit 34fineart.com Sunday jazz brunch Time: 11am–2pm.

Venue: Winchester Mansions, 221 Beach Rd, Sea Point. Cost: R195. To book a table and for more info: 021 434 2351 or harveys@winchester.co.za

support groups Childhood Cancer Foundation of South Africa (CHOC) helps parents to meet other parents and survivors. For more info: visit choc.org.za Depression and Anxiety Support Group Call a counsellor Monday to Sunday between 8am–8pm. Contact: 011 262 6396 or for a suicidal emergency contact: 0800 567 567. For more info: visit sadag.co.za Down Syndrome South Africa offers support to people with Down Syndrome and similar disabilities as well as their families. Venue: 73 Van der Stel Rd, Oakdale, Bellville. Contact: 021 919 8533, 084 258 6436, info@downwc.co.za or visit downwc.co.za Hi Hopes Home-based support for families with deaf children, 0–3 years, once a week for an hour. Cost: free. Contact Renee: 021 938 6066, 076 891 8188 or devilliers. renee@gmail.com Little People of South Africa–Cape Town supports those with dwarfism as well as their families. Time: 2pm every third Saturday of the month. Venue: Bethany Fellowship, 225 Lansdowne Rd, Claremont.

Cost: free. Contact Rachelle: 082 366 8074, rachellekvanstaden@gmail.com or littlepeopleofsouthafrica@gmail.com The Disabled Children’s Action Group A non-racial, national parent organisation that promotes and protects the rights of children with all forms of disabilities. Venue: 16 Broad Rd, Wynberg. Contact: 021 797 5977 or visit boudoirliveproductions.co.za The Questioners’ Club Holiday ideas to keep gifted children occupied and stimulated.

Contact: buntymcd@iafrica.com

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops BabyGym An interactive, brain development workshop for babies 2–8 months. 24 August–21 September.

Time: 10:30am every Tuesday. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R550. Contact Marlise: 073 145 4369, marlise.howell@babygym. co.za or visit babygym.co.za Baby sign language workshop for nannies Baby Hands SA runs this innovative sign language programme for hearing babies aged 5–24 months.

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calendar 7 September. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Durbanville. Cost: R560, includes workshop pack. Contact Clea: 084 207 6900 or clea@babyhands.co.za CPR and first aid course Subsidised classes covering adult, child and infant CPR and all medical emergencies. Time: selected Wednesdays and Saturdays 9:30am–3pm.

Venue: varies between Intercare Medical Centre, Parklands or Cape Town MediClinic.

Cost: R220 per person or R390 per couple.

Contact Daniele: 084 593 2314 or danola@ mweb.co.za Crawl Squad For milestone development with babies from 0–3 years old. Contact Sannie: 079 137 8596 or headoffice@ crawlsquad.co.za MeAMama antenatal classes Starts first Saturday of each month and runs for four weeks. Time: 10am–noon. Venue: Park Estate, Rondebosch. Cost: R900. Contact Emma: 083 455 8338, emma@meamama. co.za or visit meamama.co.za Moms and Babes workshop Venue: 19 Walters Way, Kreupelbosch. Contact: 021 712 6492, 082 611 1669 or momsandbabes.co.za Moms to be and moms and babies group meets every Thursday. Time: 10am– noon. Venue: Kingsbury Hospital, maternity section, Wilderness Rd, Claremont. Cost: R35, includes refreshments. For more info: 021 762 0116, zaiboe@theparentcentre. org.za or visit theparentcentre.org.za

playtime and story time Clamber Club These groups are divided into three age groups for children between 9 months and 3 years. For more info: visit clamberclub.com Jimmy Jungles has secure facilities for toddlers and children from 6 months of age. Time: Monday–Sunday 9am. Venue: Bellville and Claremont. Cost: from R35.

Contact head office: 021 914 1705 or info@jimmyjungles.co.za Kidz Playzone is an indoor centre that caters for children from the age of one.

Time: Tuesday–Saturday 9am–4:30pm, Sunday and public holidays 9:30am–

2pm. Venue: Durbanville Business Park, off Kliphuewel Rd, Durbanville. Cost: from R20. Contact Bev: 021 979 4872, 084 575 2546 or bev@kidzplayzone.co.za Observatory library story time every Wednesday for children 1–4 years. Time: 11am–11:30am. Venue: Station Rd. Cost: free. Contact: 021 447 9017 Planet Kids An ecofriendly, indoor play and activity centre that welcomes children with disabilities. Time: Monday– Sunday 10am–6pm. Venue: 3 Wherry Rd, Muizenberg. Cost: varies. Contact: 021 788 3070 or visit planetkids.co.za Plinka Plonka Play Indoor play area.

Time: summer weekdays 9am–5:30pm, weekends 9am–1pm; winter weekdays 9am–5pm, weekends 9:30am–4pm. Venue: 171 Buitenkant St, Gardens. Cost: children under one year enter free, one year and older pay R40 for the first hour. Contact: 021 465 0503, playatplinkaplonka@gmail. com or visit plinkaplonkaplay.com Scallywags Play Café The café has a separate play area for children under 3 years. Time: Monday–Saturday 9:30am– 5pm. Venue: Scallywags Play Café, 44 Belvedere Rd, Claremont. Cost: R45 for unlimited play, siblings R35. Contact Lindsay: 021 671 5988, 083 662 8414 or info@scallywagsplaycafe.co.za

Crawl Squad

Contact: 080 773 3643, 012 333 5359, support@preemiesforafrica.org or visit sapreemies.co.za The Parent Centre Support groups for mothers and toddlers, mothers and babies, and teenage mothers. Venue: Wynberg. Contact: 021 762 0116 or visit theparentcentre.org.za

how to help

support groups Adoption Support Group Time: Wednesday 7:30pm–9:30pm. Venue: Rondebosch. Cost: tbc. Contact Jean: 084 685 4839 or ct.adoption.support@ gmail.com La Leche League’s breastfeeding support groups Panorama: 6 September.

Contact Carol: 021 558 5319 or Irma: 084 258 8203. Durbanville: 14 September.

Contact Trudy: 021 913 2816 or Tiffany: 021 913 3586. Parow: 15 September.

Contact Dilshaad: 021 930 2475. Time: 10am. Cost: free.

Post-natal Depression South Africa Contact: pndsa.co.za SA Preemies National support group for parents of premature babies.

Activists networking against the Exploitation of Child Domestic Workers (Anex CDW) is an establishment inspired by the plight of the girl child, who is sourced or trafficked from rural to urban areas to work as child domestic labourers. Volunteers are required to attend training given by the organisation and network meetings, and assist with fundraising events for girls in rural areas to enable them to apply for scholarships. For more info contact The Volunteer Centre: 021 674 5338 or visit volcent.co.za Lawrence House is a registered children’s home of the Scalabrini Refugee Centre.

Volunteers are needed to coordinate homework or after care, establish a study programme, develop relationships with the children and nurture a non-hostile learning environment. They will also need to organise activities, prepare lunches, help develop English comprehension, and assist with extramural indoor and outdoor activities. For more info contact The Volunteer Centre: 021 674 5338 or visit volcent.co.za Operation HOPE is committed to teaching financial literacy through the Banking on Our Future programme. Fifty thousand South African young adults are taught about financial literacy, dignity and entrepreneurship in the country. Volunteer responsibilities include attending a oneday training session, teaching children the basics of finance, giving feedback to the

organisation on training and assisting in sourcing schools where such training can take place. For more information contact The Volunteer Centre: 021 674 5338 or visit volcent.co.za SANTA gets involved in preventative TB work through health education and encouraging rehabilitation through food gardens, soup kitchens and occupational therapy. Volunteers are needed to attend various training courses and regular network meetings and assist in handing out awareness information at rallies and TB awareness marches. For more info contact The Volunteer Centre: 021 674 5338 or visit volcent.co.za St Anne’s Homes offers shelter, care and empowerment to destitute, abused and disadvantaged mothers and their children.

The relief and support provided gives them a chance to become independent, confident and self-sufficient. Volunteers are required to assist in the crèche, gift shop and kitchen. Woodstock. For more information contact The Volunteer Centre: 021 674 5338 or visit volcent.co.za The Santa Shoebox Project is part of the non-profit Kidz2Kidz Trust, which collects Christmas gifts for socially disadvantaged children in South Africa. Get your child involved in choosing and filling the gift boxes, then decorating and labelling each with the recipient’s name. You will know the first name, age, gender, and care institution of the child you bought the gift for. You will get a guideline of what needs to go into each gift box, to ensure that every child receives an age-appropriate gift. Typically, this will comprise some practical necessities as well as sweets, educational supplies, a toy and an item of clothing. To participate in this heart-warming project and teach your children the joy of giving, simply register online at santashoebox. co.za or for more info contact: info@ santashoebox.co.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to lucille@childmag.co.za or fax it to 021 462 2680. Information must be received by 2 September for the October issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published.

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September 2010

Cape Town’s

it’s party time

Cape Town’s

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it’s party time continued...

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September 2010

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Cape Town’s

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last laugh

exercise for head folk SAM WILSON hopes her family will learn to live a little less in their brains…

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September 2010

about in the waves, we’ll be the ones with a net, collecting specimens from rock pools, distracting ourselves with new thoughts as opposed to resolving the ones we already have with a good jolt of endorphins.

Being head folk, has its upsides. Both our children like reading, for example. I don’t think they really had much option.

One of our favourite activities is to squish all four of us into our bed and read away a Saturday morning, preferably with a few English muffins to hand. We also play a lot of board games and do a lot of recreational Wiki’ing, as all good nerdbased life forms should.

But what’s beginning to worry me, is how this is all affecting the boys’ sense of physical self. Because, of course, the children of couch potatoes rarely grow up to be marathon runners. And, while I don’t have any urge to try and shoehorn my nice gentle sons into a life of competitive sport, it would be fabulous if one day they

could turn to me and say, “I don’t know.

I’m going to go for a long surf and sort my head out.” Because, that’s how all the nice people I know have got over being overly worried – by balancing out their thinking with a whole lot of doing.

And those are just the mental benefits.

I haven’t even touched on the physical ones. Dreas and I were discussing these the other night.

“You know what we are going to have to do, don’t you?” said Andreas, over the top of his book.

“What?” I said, hoicking my novel into a defensive position.

“The same thing one always has to do when parenting reveals a personality weakness. Fix it at the core.”

I tried to make a feeble joke, but the truth is he’s right. If Dreas and I are going to teach our children to live in their entire bodies, not just their heads, we are going to have to start by example.

Joe, Sam and Benj

So. We’ve bought bicycles and helmets, not just for the boys, but for us as well.

(I have never really learned how to ride a bike, so it’s a bit of an eye-opener.)

And we’re trading Saturday Classic Movie Festivals for mountain walks.

And who knows? Maybe this time next year, we’ll be sporty folk! Okay, let’s not aim too high. I’ll be content if I learn to think with my feet a little bit.

Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24.com, Parent24.com and Food24. com. She sprung for the more expensive cycling helmets, for obvious reasons.

Cape Town’s

PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth

i

don’t think Andreas and I are really chronically lazy. I prefer to think of us as people who live in our heads.

Have you seen that Ted talk by Sir Ken Robinson about educating people out of their bodies and into their heads, and then slightly to the one side? He talks about those who have bought so into the idea of classical education that they begin to see the body as some form of transport for one’s head, like an elaborate bookstand, as opposed to part of one’s self. (If you haven’t seen this fabulous eye-opener on nurturing creativity in children, it’s available at ted.com.)

Well, that’s what happened to Dreas and me. At some point during our education, we stopped thinking with our bodies and started conducting all our thinking in our brains, which is a very dangerous way to live. So, rather than washing away the day’s woes with a nice walk, we’ll bury ourselves in books or the TV. Rather than splashing