Child Magazine | Cape Town August 2013

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

the

education issue free

spirit giving children creative space

20 questions how good is your child’s general knowledge?

health

the box how to raise a young entrepreneur

www.childmag.co.za

August 2013

free

outside

education

entertainment

MAMBO’S PLASTIC WAREHOUSE

In this issue we focus on education; on giving our children the freedom to acquire knowledge and experience in diverse and creative ways. With this freedom comes the responsibility to make the most of the opportunities that come our way.

How good is your general knowledge?

More importantly, how good is your child’s? Mine isn’t great. And my children have experienced a few embarrassing moments playing Trivial Pursuit. One of them (no names mentioned) described Tokyo Sexwale as “a large mammal, hailing from Japan”. She had no idea that he is a prominent political and business figure.

In an attempt to improve their general knowledge, I’ve managed to get both my daughters to read at least one article from the newspaper every day. We may not be ready to enter the next Trivial Pursuit World Series, but our collective general knowledge is steadily improving.

We work quite well as a team now. Robyn, having read the entire Percy Jackson series, can answer any question related to Greek mythology; Julian handles the

entertainment side; my husband is a wizz on sport and history; and that leaves me with philosophy and all things literary.

I asked Marc, our dad blogger and online guy, to suggest ways to improve children’s general knowledge. In “it’s what you know” (page 22) he gives six fun ways to do this, all of which I plan to explore, as his research confirms that “new information can only be retained when it attaches itself to existing knowledge”.

It’s all about making learning fun.

If you love the magazine, you’ll love our website. Visit us at childmag.co.za

Hunter House PUB L IS H ING

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Cassandra Shaw • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

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August 2013

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contents august 2013

upfront

health

3 a note from lisa

12 hormones and your child’s health Vanessa Papas looks at the

6 over to you readers respond 21 dad’s blog Marc de Chazal’s daughter turned 18 recently, but she’s still daddy’s little girl 31 r eader’s blog Darren Till realises we should be as vigilant as we can as parents, but not beat ourselves up if we get it wrong sometimes

possible health risks of synthetic hormones in our children’s diet

regulars 8 upfront with paul sometimes we’re the ones embarrassing our children, says Paul Kerton

9 pregnancy news – swimming in front Marc de Chazal looks at

features

male infertility

16 set them free children learn more while engaging in creative play.

By Bianca Wright

18 discipline wars conflict over parenting styles can leave parents feeling frustrated and isolated, says Françoise Gallet

22 it’s what you know improving your child’s general knowledge will benefit them in all walks of life.

Marc de Chazal explains why and how

24 scrum-diddily-umptious Kim McCosker’s new book is filled with fun, imaginative and healthy recipes

28 coming to terms with trauma Lisa Lazarus asks the experts for tips on dealing with your child’s fears after a traumatic event

10 best for baby – the latest buzz on BPA Hayley Komen says it’s still the best advice to keep your baby away from products containing BPA

14 dealing with difference Lucille Kemp gives you fun excercises to improve your child’s fine motor skills

38 resource – a business plan Child magazine explores ideas on how to raise a budding entrepreneur

42 good reads new books for the whole family

46 what’s on in august 58 finishing touch Anél Lewis learns in the time-out corner that she also has to keep her temper under control

32 a first time for everything Marc de Chazal looks at some of the “firsts” parents might dread

34 like it or lump it does sugar have a place in our diet? Françoise Gallet investigates this controversial issue

classified ads 52 family marketplace 55 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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August 2013

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

St Mary’s School, Waverley grahamdelacy.com

Jean Bourget Photo: Olivier Ribardière Jelli Children’s Boutique

Posh Little Ones poshlittleones.co.za

Jean Bourget Photo: Olivier Ribardière Jelli Children’s Boutique

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magazine cape town

August 2013

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letters

hold the sugar…

I find Child magazine generally very interesting and informative and have found the publication to be socially responsible. However, I was surprised that a full page advertisement by the South African Sugar Association (SASA) was permitted to be published in the May 2013 issue. The advertisement is a very mediocre presentation quoting vague studies and giving the reader the idea that the consumption of sugar is not harmful to our health. Any expert on nutrition will agree that sugar consumption, especially refined sugar, is harmful to our health. I hope that the readers will be discerning when reading this material. Who would you rather believe? The nutrition experts who have no financial interest in the sugar trade and who have health promotion as their motivation? Or SASA and its members who care nothing for our health, especially our children’s health it appears, and are motivated by their bottom line profit?

Joann Lugt Childmag says Thanks for your letter. Sugar and our intake of it is an important topic that definitely warrants discussion. Especially since recent research has revealed that a certain amount of sugar is needed for optimal brain functioning. As a result, we need to look at how much sugar we, and more importantly our children, require and in what form.

Take a look at our article on page 34 which offers an objective take on this subject.

a mother’s love I read the pub’s note (July 2013) with a sense of familiarity as Lisa shares the challenges of parenting. I too have my youngest of four boys in Matric this year. He is so tuned to making me feel like I am the only mother in the world who is not paving his final school year experience in “gold”. However, having raised three other magnificent young men and being a working mom, I have life experience that proves that a bit of healthy inability to jump to every demand is not only acceptable, it is character building and

over to you a response to “circumcision – cut to the chase” (online) Can we please stop with the “cute” catchphrases like snip, cut and Cat Stevens references? They are deeply insulting to men who resent their circumcision as infants. It is not up to the parents. The parents are not going to be using the organ in question. Trying to imply that it is legal if the doctor suggests it to parents is a violation of the child’s rights and medical fraud. Boys deserve the same treatment as girls for hygiene, health, protection against and treatment of disease.

Anonymous

a response to “naming rights” (July 2013) I had a good giggle after reading Paul Kerton’s column.

I am a teacher and Paul commented about names that are “trendy.” I go back a few years now and share with you my absurd class list at the time. I had a Mikhale, a Michael, a Michaela, a MacKayla, a Kayla, a Talya and a Taylor. Thank goodness I was younger then so I was able to (most of the time) remember who was who and call them by the correct name.

Teacher

teaches resilience and self-sufficiency. I have shared with other parents that “guilt” is a really destructive emotion and that as parents we all love our children unconditionally.

How we choose to raise them is with our best intentions at the centre of our efforts.

We should never judge our efforts, other than constantly reflect each day on how best we can fulfil the role of “mother” with the tools we have within our social context.

Communicating this message to our children in a loving way makes for honest, open and appropriate relationships.

Jos Horwitz

a response to “beyond the mainstream” (May 2013) There is another alternative to the South African school curriculum which your magazine failed to mention. Thousands of bright, ambitious children from international and local families are studying the Cambridge International Curriculum here in our beautiful country.

Based on the British National curriculum, but of a higher standard, the Cambridge curriculum is available in South Africa at a variety of international schools at both primary and secondary level as well as via home schooling or distance learning. There are even one or two South African schools who use aspects of it to enhance their teaching.

With a focus on English language skills, maths and science, the curriculum leads to high quality qualifications (Checkpoint, IGCSE, AS and A Levels), which are accepted for further study in every country in the world including South Africa. Students with these qualifications excel at university in their professions and in business worldwide, because the curriculum develops students who are skilled, confident and responsible.

Teachers working in this curriculum find it stimulating and rewarding and are amazed at the level expected of children studying via the Cambridge curriculum, and at how well they meet these high standards.

CM Oshry, Dean of Colleges, British International Colleges

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

a response to “positively single” (online)

where can I get a copy?

Reading this is like a light bulb going on in my head.

Thank you so much for posting this. Now I can see where I am going wrong in my day-to-day decisions. It’s tough having to be a single parent and what makes it worse is that there are a lot of judgmental people out there, a fact which just drains you even further. They should be sympathetic towards those of us who have decided to make it on our own. Positive outlook from now on!

Anonymous

I am 80-years-old but I love your magazine. Where can I find a regular copy? I would love to get one on a monthly basis, which I will pass on to my granddaughter for her baby’s benefit. Many thanks for this information.

Yvette Antelme Childmag says Child magazine is free, but if you would like to get your own copy sent straight to your door step, for R165 per annum, just send us your details at subs@childmag.co.za

new donors

your response on facebook and twitter

Thank you Child magazine for the opportunity to increase our donor database by 57 new donors via exposure in your magazine and on your website.

Carmen Douglas-Kilfoil, Society for Animals in Distress

to our “what’s on” section My goodness, I love it! It’s so easy to see what’s on when.

Shaista B Nabee via Facebook

somewhere to celebrate I responded to an ad for Karate Partyz for Kidz that was listed on your website. I just wanted to let you know that it was fantastic. Ian Arendse (the sensei) kept 18 seven- to eight-year-old boys engaged for a full two hours. They are still talking about my son’s party at school. Highly recommended.

Heather Smith

to the magazine in general I’m a very impressed country-living gran and this is the best information for parents, grandmas and grandads on how to educate children and keep them busy.

Claudette Barnes via Facebook to the letter “chocolate and vanilla” (July 2013) Read your letter in @ChildMag. Loved it!

Spirit Dee via twitter

thanks Child magazine Glynis Horning did a brilliant, sensitive job with her article, “coping with childhood cancer” (July 2013). We sincerely appreciate the exposure this article has given children with cancer and inadvertently Choc.

Agie Govender, Choc KZN

Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine

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August 2013

cake-making fun I put the cake inspiration in your May issue to use for my boy’s first birthday. I was looking for an easy cake to make, and this Lamington train worked like a charm!

Tammi

subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competition.

To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

magazine cape town

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August 2013

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upfront with paul

too embarrassing If your children refuse to be seen with you, then maybe you

b

e honest. Are you an embarrassing parent? Maybe you don’t even know it, having never had the time to scrutinise the handbook of cool parenting, if indeed there is one.

Clue: do your children ask to be dropped off in Pretoria when the school is in Joburg? Do they walk behind you – about six kilometres behind – while you’re trying to talk to them? Do they say things like “There’s no way you’re taking me to Suzy’s party dressed like THAT!” And do they cringe and jump out of the car when you sing along to an Elvis Presley song on the radio? They do? Sorry, but we need to talk.

Some “experts” think that parents only become embarrassing when children become teenagers. Wrong! Children know as early as three years old whether or not you are a) fun to be around with, b) a stickler for out-dated rules, c) a major fail in the kudos department, or worst of all d) a can’t-stand-to-see-anyone-having-fun killjoy, because the world (well your world) is “oh so serious”. Lighten up, won’t you.

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August 2013

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

Yes, bringing up children is a serious business, fraught with all sorts of potential disaster and domestic danger and yes, there are so many things that can go wrong. Children can get ill and fall over and not do well at school and, and, and… the list is “and-less”. And here comes the big but; relax, because you can cook and wash, ply them with gadgets and drive them all over the place, but a stressed out, miserable, bitter-and-twisted parent is an ineffective parent. Above all, they’re embarrassing.

A recent survey found that dads are the most embarrassing offenders with 80 percent of 13 to 21 year olds claiming their dad embarrassed them all the time by wearing out-of-date and dishevelled clothes, singing loudly to the radio and acting childish in public.

Me? I used to be a cool dad until hair started growing out of my ears and nose faster than it was on my head. Thing is, you have to be aware of developments like this that affect your cool cred and find a solution –

I bought a trimmer. That’s nose trimmer not garden Strimmer…

The most embarrassing thing about South African dads, I’ve noticed, is their footwear. They rarely get the right shoes to fit the occasion or match their clothes, like clumpy hiking boots with a smart business suit. Or pointy toes that, after a couple of weeks, curl up like Persian slippers. I could write a book.

Luckily daughters keep their mothers well in check to avoid wardrobe malfunctions and fashion fails. Don’t wear too bright a shade of lipstick, especially post-box red or too much perfume, strictly no side-boob and don’t do anything considered “whacky” with your hair like putting six chopsticks through a bun. If you’ve already committed sartorial suicide and fallen into the trap of dressing in the same onesie/slop-pants/tracksuit everyday, because you’re “only popping down the road” to pick up the children, and don’t care anymore; think of them. They care very much.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

should take a long, hard look in the mirror, says Paul Kerton.

pregnancy news

swimming in front Most men suffering from infertility will be able to have children with treatment. By MARC DE CHAZAL

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

i

f you’re struggling to conceive, there’s an equal chance that the problem lies with either one of you.

It’s a misconception that infertility affects mainly women. Dr Merwyn Jacobson, a specialist in reproductive medicine at Vitalab infertility clinic in Sandton, says male infertility accounts for nearly one half of all infertility cases in South Africa, which has the lowest fertility rate in subSaharan Africa.

There are two categories an infertile couple can fall into.

Primary infertility is when a couple is unable to conceive after at least one year of frequent, unprotected sex – or for at least six months if the woman is 35 or older. Secondary infertility, on the other hand, is when a couple cannot conceive a second child after 12 months of unprotected sex.

Infertility problems can occur at any stage of conception, which includes the release of an egg from a woman’s ovaries, the egg moving through the fallopian tube, a man’s sperm joining with the egg along the way and the fertilised egg attaching itself to the inside of the uterus. A lot needs to happen for conception to be successful, but a low sperm count, or none at all, is still one of the main reasons a couple will fail to fall pregnant.

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“Sperm-related problems result from either too much or too little of the hormones required to produce sperm,” explains Dr Herman Netshidzivhani, a fertility specialist who runs the Netcare Park Lane Fertility Centre in Joburg. “Low sperm count can also be triggered by heat exposure, such as hot baths, or by wearing tight underwear and sitting for long periods. Obese men can become sterile because sagging fat layers can overheat the testicles,” he adds.

Research also shows that smoking more than 20 cigarettes a day reduces both the sperm count and sperm mobility. Alcohol consumption may inhibit the production of sperm, as will exposure to toxic chemicals and the use of anabolic steroids. Also keep in mind that fertility does gradually decrease in men who are older than 40.

improve your chances “One in four South African couples diagnosed with infertility is eventually able to conceive with treatment,” says Netshidzivhani. In the case of male infertility, a semen analysis will determine the number, activity and shape of the sperm. Your doctor will advise you of the best options to improve your chances of conceiving, which may include

a course of antibiotics to heal infection, fertility drugs to improve sperm production, or surgery in the case of a reverse vasectomy, removing a varicocele or repairing a duct obstruction.

More complicated male infertility problems such as reduced sperm mobility can be treated by Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), a procedure which places washed sperm directly into the uterus via a small catheter. “Today, in even the most difficult of male infertility cases, the direct injection of sperm into eggs in a procedure called Intra Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI) can now significantly improve the likelihood of pregnancy,” explains Jacobson.

Other treatments include electro-ejaculation for patients with spinal cord injuries, epididymal sperm aspiration for men with absent or blocked ducts, and hormone replacement for individuals with pituitary deficiencies.

August 2013

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best for baby

the latest buzz on BPA Plastic food packaging is said to be 100 percent BPA-free in South Africa, but when it comes

wo years ago South Africa placed a ban on the import, export, sale and manufacture of BPA in all baby-feeding containers. Yet, despite the ban, some retailers were exposed for selling baby bottles containing BPA towards the end of 2012. So how can consumers be sure they’re buying BPA-free products, and does it really matter?

BPA, or Bisphenol A, is a chemical used to make polycarbonate plastics and epoxy. Once commonly used in food packaging, it has since been found to be toxic, especially to babies. When a BPA baby bottle is steam sterilised or when baby formula is mixed with hot water, the release of BPA could be increased by 50 percent inside the bottle.

While it’s clear that BPA is toxic, experts disagree about whether the amount we’re exposed to in our everyday lives is dangerous. The controversy stems from

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August 2013

BPA’s delinquent behaviour. Most toxins have clear effects such as asbestos, which causes lung cancer. But BPA is an endocrine disruptor, which means it changes how our hormones function, specifically oestrogen, and as such the effects are not clear.

We could be setting up breast cancer in a baby before it’s born, then exacerbating the problem by giving milk containing BPA after birth.

Dr Carl Albrecht, executive manager of research at Cansa, says new research, predominantly in the field of endocrinology, is using more advanced technology to study extremely low concentrations of BPA. Results show

that the level of BPA that is dangerous could be up to 100 times lower than previously thought. “We could be setting up breast cancer in a baby before it’s born, then exacerbating the problem by giving milk containing BPA after birth,” he says.

According to the Environmental Working Group (EWG), a high profile USA environmental health research and advocacy organisation, BPA can alter the behaviour of more than 200 genes. It’s been linked to abnormal foetal development, prostate and breast cancer, miscarriage, immune system dysfunction, diabetes, weight problems, heart disease, anxiety and testicular abnormalities in boys and puberty in girls younger than eight. A February 2013 report from the Columbia Center for Children’s Environmental Health in the USA furthermore showed a link between early childhood exposure to BPA and a higher risk of asthma in young children.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

t

to the health of your baby, it’s still better to take precautions, says HAYLEY KOMEN.

The effects are especially dangerous to babies. Albrecht says children younger than one year do not yet have the enzymes needed to process BPA. What’s more, babies consume about 10 times more food in relation to their body weight than adults do and, unlike adults, their diet is not varied. As such, if there’s BPA in their milk, babies consume lots of it, all day long.

This is why the ban, both locally and in other parts of the world, first focused on baby feeding products.

However, many people don’t realise that BPA is also found in other everyday products. Monya Vermaak, marketing and communications executive for Plastics SA, says BPA contributes to consumer comfort and has become indispensable. “It is used in safety glasses, visors and lenses, CDs and DVDs, computers, kitchen appliances, power tools and sport equipment, because no other material has the same safety components,” she says.

Of particular concern is that it can also be found in thermal invoicing paper (till and ATM slips) and in the epoxy resin linings found inside canned foods, including most baby formula tins.

Yet Albrecht believes the “war” on BPA has been won and that now the question is how to deal with its presence in our environment. “Research is already under way in South Africa to find an alternative to BPA for lining canned foods. But it takes about five years to conclude the tests, because they need to see if the alternative formulation will seal the cans effectively over time,” he says. As such, banning BPA across the board can’t be done overnight.

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Cansa’s concern about thermal invoicing paper is mostly for pregnant women working at tills and who are exposed to more BPA than the average person. The organisation is planning research to determine the amount of BPA in till workers’ bodies compared to other staff. If the levels turn out to be of concern, they will explore effective hygiene measures with supermarket managers. This could include till workers washing their hands more frequently or even wearing gloves.

recognising BPA products In 1988 the Society of the Plastics Industry (SPI) developed an international coding system for the identification of different types of plastic polymers. The main purpose was to support recycling initiatives, but it’s also a useful pointer for consumers who are trying to avoid BPA. Plastic products should feature a triangular symbol with a number between 1 and 7, together with letters identifying the type of polymer. It’s the number 7 combined with the letters “PC” in particular that indicate the presence of BPA, since PC refers to polycarbonate. If there’s no symbol one should assume that the plastic contains BPA or other risky chemicals.

avoiding BPA in baby products Vermaak says that while the National Regulator screens certain products for Compulsory Specifications (NRCS) or South African Bureau of Standards (SABS), the ultimate responsibility for ensuring that baby products do not contain BPA lies with the retailer.

make sure While Monya Vermaak, marketing and communications executive for Plastics SA assures consumers that plastic food packaging in South Africa, including baby bottles, is 100 percent BPA free, parents can further ensure their baby’s exposure is limited by following a few guidelines: • Breast-feed your baby for as long as possible, if possible.

• Avoid canned foods when feeding your older baby.

• Use glass feeding and storage bottles or polypropylene bottles that are labelled “5” and contain the letters “PP”.

• If a baby product contains a triangle with the number “7” and letters “PC”, avoid it.

• Even if the label says “BPA free”, check the product itself to make sure it does not contain polycarbonate. Baby bottles that are crystal clear and hard are likely to contain BPA. Rather choose a more pliable, slightly opaque bottle.

• If there is no triangular symbol on the product, again check that it is slightly pliable and opaque, otherwise rather avoid it.

• Don’t microwave foods in plastic containers except for those specifically made for microwave use. These should again contain the triangular symbol with “5” and “PP”.

August 2013

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health

hormones and your child’s health

w

hen one hears the words “growth hormones in food”, it’s easy to visualise giant cows, towering corn and rivers of milk. While hormones occur naturally in plants, animals and humans, it’s concerning when synthetic hormones are added to the foods our children eat.

According to Cape Town nutritional therapist, Megan Bosman, studies have shown growth hormones added to certain foods can affect your child’s development and wellbeing. “One of the biggest concerns is that synthetic hormones can bring on early puberty in children. This is especially evident in girls as they are starting to menstruate at a much younger age,” says Bosman.

“Other studies have shown certain growth hormones can also cause breast enlargement in boys. Synthetic

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hormones are the centre of concern when it comes to illnesses linked to high oestrogen levels, like breast cancer, fibroids, ovarian cancer and prostate cancer.

Oestrogen in excess can also cause weight gain, as growth in oestrogen-sensitive tissue leads to increased fat tissue. What some parents may not realise is that in addition to synthetic hormones added to meat and milk, soya contains high amounts of oestrogen, and there are also chemicals that mimic oestrogen in food called xenoestrogens, which are found in plastics, chemical sprays and fertilisers.”

The majority of meat consumed in South Africa has added hormones, which are given to animals to make them gain weight faster, thus producing meat products for consumers at a faster rate.

“For decades in South Africa, almost all abattoir meat has been produced with the aid of hormones, and it is known to be a completely safe practice,” says the Food Advisory Consumer Service (FACS), a resource that provides consumers with scientifically correct information on food and nutrition issues. FACS is administered by the South African Association for Food Science and Technology – a non-profit organisation for food scientists and other technical food professionals.

FACS explains that there are four anabolic steroids (hormones) commonly used in promoting the growth of animals – two naturally occurring and two synthetic hormones. When used as recommended, these hormones are safe for both the animal and the final consumer. “In the meat industry, hormones are used only for a short period

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

Synthetic hormones added to the foods we eat have always been a sensitive topic. Vanessa Papas explores the possible health risks and ways to minimise your child’s exposure to them.

while the animal is being fattened on a feedlot. In feedlots, for example, a 10-month-old steer or heifer of 200kg receives an ear implant that contains hormones. After about 100 days of feeding, the animal has grown to 400kg, when it is ready for slaughter. The implants promote improved conversion of feed into muscle by up to 20 percent and also ensure that our abattoir meat has a low fat content. Without the use of hormones, bovines require about three years to achieve slaughter weight, whereas here the aim is to slaughter animals at 18 to 24 months old for improved farming efficiency. In most cases, our legislation has set the allowed limits lower than those required internationally. The use of hormones in red meat production is permitted and controlled by the Department of Agriculture, which means that products and usage levels are known and residues can be monitored.”

Nathalie Mat, associate dietician at MME Dietitians in Bryanston, Gauteng, says one of the most frequently asked questions is whether eating meat from hormone-treated animals increases the risk of girls developing breast cancer as adults. “While some studies have found certain synthetic hormones in meat may exert some effects on health issues like breast cancer, testicular cancer, obesity, diabetes, glucose intolerance and high cholesterol, one should be wary of attributing blame to the chemicals in the food chain.

Considering two thirds of South Africans are overweight or obese, and this is one of the main contributing factors to the above-listed conditions, one should first address the likely calorie imbalance that leads to weight gain before pointing fingers at the miniscule input that any contaminants are likely to have.”

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In addition to meat production, hormones are also used to increase milk production in animals. As milk is an important part of your child’s diet, providing them with calcium and muscle-building proteins, should parents worry about the added hormones in milk and milk products? Cows naturally produce a hormone called Bovine Somatotropin (BST) that helps them produce milk.

In order to increase milk production, some farmers inject their dairy cows with a genetically engineered drug called Recombinant Bovine Somatotropin (rBST). Although legal in South Africa, rBST is banned in Japan, Canada, Australia and the European Union, and has been linked to increased rates in colon, breast and prostate cancer.

“We believe that raw milk should not contain any added hormones,” says Anneke Smalman, senior liaison officer at Clover, a company that produces milk that is free of any hormones or traces of antibiotics. “We do more than 60 tests on our fresh milk before it reaches the consumer to ensure that it’s safe for human consumption. Clean raw milk from organic grass-fed cows contains only the precisely balanced trace amounts that are naturally occurring, providing your child with the best source of nutrients nature has to offer.”

did you know?

Hormone compounds are not just found in food, but are also present in water, soil, cosmetics, cleaning products and food packaging.

guide for parents By avoiding hormone-treated meat and dairy products, you can limit your child’s exposure to synthetic hormone chemicals.

• S tart your own vegetable garden using organic seeds.

• Choose lean meat cuts and remove any visible fat before cooking.

• Choose wholegrain foods.

• C hoose products labelled “no hormones administered”.

• C ook meats well, without burning or charring them.

• Choose free range/organic meats that have not been treated with hormones.

• Avoid processed foods as they often contain synthetic hormones.

• Avoid the use of plastics, especially when heating and freezing food as these contain xenoestrogens.

• Wash fruit and vegetables before eating them as some chemical sprays and fertilisers contain xenoestrogens.

• Larger containers reduce the surface-to-volume ratio, which means less food comes into contact with the container. This also reduces the migration of chemicals in packaging to food. * Above tips provided by Gauteng dietician Careen Geldenhuys

August 2013

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dealing with difference

From as early on as infancy, a child’s fine motor skills help their interactions with the world and, as they get older, provide building blocks to developing early literacy, numeracy and self-help skills such as independent dressing and going to the toilet – especially important by the time they’re attending “big school”.

In their early primary school years, children continue to use their fine motor skills to assist in developing literacy and numeracy as well as to help perform more complex functions such as art, craft and construction activities using computers, playing musical instruments, drawing, writing and typing. Referring to research King notes, “Children in Grades 2, 4 and 6 are required to spend up to 60 percent of their school day performing fine motor tasks, and 85 percent of these tasks involve paper-and-pencil-type fine motor functions.”

Fine motor skills proficiency greatly affects a child’s everyday experience in the classroom with one such area being handwriting. And before you jump up and yell “Relevance in the age of the iPad?”, King points out that there is still value in having handwriting skills. Research has revealed that four year olds who spent time copying letters using a writing utensil made significant gains on a letter recognition assessment compared to four year olds who used a touchscreen or keyboard to type the letters.

James*, a boy in Grade 2, found handwriting so difficult that he would often tune out and stare into space and seldom wrote more than a sentence on his own. He also lacked good postural control, due to low muscle tone, and often supported the side of his head with his hand. He worked on prescribed activities at home and after four months of OT, his mom and teacher are happy with the progress. He holds his pencil in a more functional grip and is writing more on his own; he even spontaneously wrote neatly in a Mother’s Day card. The results from the sessions also mean James won’t need to repeat Grade 2.

the best intervention is prevention

In a world where efficient fine motor functions are no longer incidental in a child’s development, ensure you have them doing exercises that encourage these skills before they start schooling. By LUCILLE KEMP

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tereotypically, occupational therapist (OT) Ingrid C King has found, children’s fine motor skills – small coordinated movements, of the hands and fingers, which control tools and materials – develop consistently from birth through to mid-primary school.

King realised, however, that many Grade R children can’t perform the most basic of fine motor functions such as cutting with scissors or opening a clothes peg.

So what is hindering this otherwise typical development? As we by now know, in the space of six decades, technology overall has allowed a child’s lifestyle to become rather sedentary – playing on smartphones and gaming has replaced tree climbing and ball-playing, and lift clubs have replaced bicycle riding and walking to friends’ houses.

As a result of these lifestyle changes, many more children today do not have sufficient opportunities to optimally develop their motor skills before they begin formal schooling.

“I am sure you would see a different picture if you visited the townships and rural areas, where children are very active and have greater freedom to run, climb and play outdoors,” says Sheva Messias, principal of King David Pre-Primary School in Linksfield, Joburg.

effects on learning “Studies have shown that fine motor abilities are forecasters for later academic achievement and one particular study in 2013 found that four year olds who demonstrated good scores on fine motor writing tasks are more likely to excel academically in primary school,” says King. This affirms that the importance of having children with well-honed fine motor skills goes beyond being able to proficiently perform everyday tasks such as fastening buttons, tying shoelaces and using cutlery.

A little girl in Grade 1 named Julia* paid weekly OT visits over three terms as she wasn’t keeping up with the rest of her class in handwriting, cutting and colouring. Presumably due to the anxiety brought on by falling behind and not coping, Julia also complained often of a sore stomach and didn’t want to go to school. “We worked together on strengthening the muscles in her hand, fingers and wrist as well as improving the coordination of her writing fingers and her letter formation. Julia’s confidence was eventually restored; she was keeping up with her peers and enjoying going to school with no more tummy troubles,” says King.

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fun that develops Get them to hold a spray bottle in their first three fingers and get them to spray off shaving foam patterns, which have been drawn onto the shower walls; children also like cleaning windows and popping bubbles.

Collect a variety of squeeze toys such as soft balls, koosh balls and animal toys with tongues that “pop out when you squeeze them”. Don’t forget the good old-fashioned, jointed wooden animals, whose body parts move when children depress the base with their thumbs. They also love good-quality balloons filled with play dough with funny faces drawn on. Encourage your child to squeeze and manipulate them until their hands are tired. Use them in the car to make travel times more productive and fun.

Use clothes pegs (the kind with a spring) and teach your child to hold the peg between the pads of their thumb and index fingers (add in the middle finger if it will fit) and tuck the other fingers into their palm. Once they have got this grip, they can play “singing peg” (opening and closing the peg while they sing along to a song. They can also sing the ABC. Use the pegs to pick up plastic items that float and sink in the bath, for example bottle lids. You can also draw letters or numbers inside with a permanent marker to add to the educational value of the activity.

Cut strips of different coloured crepe paper into pieces (7cm by 3cm). Hold both ends of a strip between the thumb, index and middle fingers, then scrunch the strip as small as possible (you can also get them to roll it further using the first three fingers of the dominant hand). *Names have been changed Information courtesy of Ingrid C King

resource OTs in your area visit childmag.co.za/resources/healthcare-practitioners online assistance • love2learnandgrow.com • ot-mom-learning-activities.com • loveplayandlearn.com recommended reading • Play Learn Know by Dr Melodie de Jager and Liz Victor (Metz Press) • Sensible Stimulation by Marga Grey (Metz Press) • Time2Play by Leana Weideman Matodes (Crink Publishing Consultant) • Am I Ready for School? Smartkids (Pearson)

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PHOTOGRAPHS: ST JOHN’S COLLEGE / Ingrid C King / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

the primary work of a child is play

King notes, “According to theories of motor learning, to acquire a new skill, daily practise is needed and to refine a skill, practise three times a week is ideal.” Parents with preschool children should aim to spend 15 minutes a day doing fun fine motor tasks with their child, which includes drawing, colouring and cutting using scissors. King concludes, “Your child needs you to go outside and fly a kite with you. They want you to sing and play games with them and they want your eye contact and attention. Your child needs your help to develop their minds and bodies.” Here are a few ways to start:

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August 2013

15

your child’s life

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oo often the screen or other structured activities replace the free play that is the potting soil of creativity in young children. Instead of taking time to play with our children, we direct them to the TV or computer to keep them busy. Made-up games, hours spent building vehicles and structures, fantasy stories acted out with dolls and action figures – all of these are the building blocks for a child’s imagination. Yet, while for most of us creativity and childhood go hand in hand, alarming evidence has shown that children are less creative today than they were a generation ago.

set them

free Don’t stifle your children’s creative play, as this is when they are doing most of their learning. By BIANCA WRIGHT

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August 2013

An American study by Kyung-Hee Kim, a professor of education at the College of William and Mary in Virginia, noted a continuous decline in creativity among schoolchildren over the last two or three decades. Kim compared scores on a creative-thinking test collected from normative samples of kindergarten children up to twelfth grade over several decades. Her analyses show that the scores on these tests at all grade levels began to decline somewhere between 1984 and 1990 and have continued to decline ever since. While South African studies are lacking, similar results have been found in studies in other parts of the globe. The main culprit seems to be technology.

A study commissioned by Hobbycraft in 2012 found that a third of parents in the United Kingdom who were surveyed regret giving their children game consoles, cellphones and computers, yet 43 percent admit they often give in and let them play or watch what they want for the sake of peace. In an article in the Daily Mail, Emma Kenny, a media psychologist, warns of the impact of these techno-babysitters. “It is important to consider the longer-term effects a lack of creative activities in childhood can have, with lack of concentration, and patience becoming increasingly evident as well as a lack of problem-solving skills which creative activity helps develop.”

In a review of 17 studies about the link between watching television and creative thought in children, researchers concluded that watching TV reduced creative imagination among children of a wide range of ages, most of whom were older than age six.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

a downward trend

creative play Children are creative because they are not bound by the constraints of reality and logic. Psychologist Alison Kuit, now based in the UK, says, “This allows the lounge carpet to become a flying carpet that takes them to magical places, or a tea towel to become a bright and beautiful butterfly coming to rest on a lovely flower. Play and creativity are not just ways to pass the time; they are how children learn, make sense of their world, learn to solve problems and even to find (their) identity.” She emphasises the importance of nurturing creativity within children and allowing them to explore the possibilities around them.

It’s not that television or computer use is all bad; rather it’s a matter of moderation and ensuring that children have the freedom and the desire to use their imaginations and be creative. Creativity comes in many forms, from creative approaches to baking and art to free play that encourages the development of problem-solving skills. Parents play a vital role in shaping a child’s experience of the world and by consequence of the way they play. Too much monitoring, evaluation and direction from a parent can stifle creativity. The point of creative play is that there is no right way to do it.

pressure points The intense pressure that parents feel to ensure that their child is developing at appropriate levels can actually negatively impact on a child’s creative intuition. “Our society and culture has become obsessed with education,” Kuit warns. “We measure success by how quickly our children move through developmental stages. Parents compare how early their child walked, talked and could name colours and shapes.”

The result, she says, is that play has to be “educational”, with parents and caregivers governing the play to meet the educational outcomes. “This means that from early on, children learn that there is a right and a wrong way to do something, to see something, to play with something. We correct our children when they ‘incorrectly’ name a lemon a ball. We have them watch DVDs that promise to lay down the early foundations for reading and writing at the age of six months. Encouraging creativity is encouraging self-exploration.”

Port Elizabeth-based psychologist, Kerry Phillips White, adds that there really is a need for creativity to come from a place of stillness. “Our children have to be encouraged to find their own creativity in a place of quiet without TV, music, computer games and cellphones. Children need to learn to discern their own creative voice amid the constant bombardment of ideas.” The key is balance. Education is important, but so is freedom, flexibility and creative thought. Providing children with different kinds of stimuli to encourage all aspects of the child’s development, including creativity, is one way that parents can ensure that they nourish the whole child. As Kuit says, “Turn off the TV, silence the adult logic, get down on the floor or into the sandpit and play.”

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creating creativity UK teacher, Sarah Boone, offers these tips for nurturing creativity in your child: • Play “what if”. Children of all ages love to imagine possibilities. The questions can be as silly as “What if the moon really was made of green cheese?” or as serious as “What if apartheid did not come to an end in 1994?”. There are no wrong answers, and the responses often lead to further “what ifs”.

• Learn to look. Go beyond the adjectives commonly used to describe people, places and things. Ask your children what they associate with such things.

• Introduce new experiences. Breaking down stereotypes involves comparing preconceived notions with actual experiences. Have your children describe what they think a certain culture’s religion or food might be like, then allow them to experience it in some way, comparing their expectations with their discoveries.

New experiences suggest different questions and lead to more possibilities.

• Experiment. Be willing to tolerate a little messiness while family members experiment with new flavours and original recipes, create new designs from old favourite clothes, personalise letterheads and stationery, or try out various paint or colour schemes.

• Find creative art opportunities that do not come with any academic or performance pressure. Be guided by your child’s choices and not what you want them to learn. The emphasis is on the creative process, not the final product.

• Insist on some quiet time. Creativity requires reflection away from distractions. Activities such as keeping a journal, hiking, cycling, walking the dog, and doing chores lend themselves to introspection, even when they are done as a family.

• Remain nonjudgmental. Ideas and creations can be flawed. To be creative, your children need the freedom to experiment and to make mistakes so that they can try again.

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parenting

discipline

wars

Conflicting parenting styles can play havoc on your relationship with your partner and confuse your children. By Françoise Gallet

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race Shaw*, 43, mother to three boys of eight, 11 and 15, loved what she saw of her husband with other people’s children. But when their first son was born, she saw another side to him, which left her hurt, disappointed and angry.

“When I first met Gary he was very playful with his friend’s children, so I imagined he would be playful and involved with our own children. This illusion was shattered when, two weeks after our firstborn arrived, Gary left us to go away on a boys’ weekend in Joburg.”

Coming face-to-face with your partner’s take on parenting while in the throes of actual parenting can be stressful. Most of this stress stems from unconscious and conscious expectations parents have of themselves and their partners, explains Carol-Ann Dixon, a counselling psychologist and relationship therapist in Durban.

Amanda Joseph, 32, and Bradley Whittington, 31, parents to three children also struggled with similar disillusionment.

Amanda’s idea of who Bradley would be as a parent differed substantially from who he really is. “I realised only in hindsight that my unconscious expectation was based on how my father had parented me,” she says.

Cristine Scolari, a Joburg clinical psychologist, says few individuals enter parenthood with a clear sense of what they consider to be their role, responsibilities and parental values. Our ideas about how our children should be raised are shaped “by a variety of factors, such as how we were parented, the individual’s own temperament and personality, personal values, experiences from childhood, emotional factors and trial and error,” explains Scolari.

• O ther styles of parenting include helicopter parenting, where parents constantly control and interfere in their children’s lives.

• Attachment parenting is where parents believe that creating a strong bond with their child is paramount.

• Dixon describes another style of parenting, coined “conscious parenting”, which is “about seeing the child as a separate and unique being that needs to be nurtured, guided and coached into adulthood. It is very skills-based with specific tools being taught and the parent-child relationship at the core of the method.”

to some of the rituals at a traditional Zulu wedding, such as the slaughtering of animals; whereas her husband wanted his son to be taught about the meanings behind these practices. He did not see anything wrong with his son sleeping in the same room when they made love; she was aghast!”

Conflict over parenting styles can leave parents feeling frustrated, annoyed, misunderstood, isolated and angry.

Other common emotions include mistrust and insecurity.

Conflicting parenting styles may also impact children.

“To avoid conflict, one partner may abdicate parenting to the other,” points out Dixon. “One parent may also over-compensate and so overdiscipline or over-protect the child. Arguing continually about who is right and who is the better parent is common.”

When “ganging up with the children” against the other parent becomes pathological, it is known as Parent Alienation Syndrome.

“Deliberate attempts to alienate a parent from the children have a very adverse effect on them and creates deep hurt,” says Dixon.

There is a saying: ‘You can either be right or you can be in a relationship’. Parents may have to learn how to integrate their differences – sometimes through compromise or through expanding boundaries to be more inclusive.

Although each parent is uniquely influenced by a number of factors, mainline research has identified three distinct parenting styles: authoritarian, laissez faire or permissive and more recently a style known as authoritative.

• “Authoritarian parenting is a regimental parenting style with many rules and strict boundaries. Children are not expected to have an opinion or have any input,” Scolari explains.

• Parents with a permissive style “allow their children to do whatever they like with not much structure or boundaries,” continues Scolari.

• In authoritative parenting, parents set rules and have boundaries, but they are more flexible and listen to their children’s input.

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The conscious and attachment parenting styles have informed the way Amanda raises her children. While she and Bradley generally share these ideals, Amanda admits that differences are most pronounced when it comes to discipline and boundaries.

“Where he sees me being inconsistent, I see me choosing my battles,” explains Amanda. “When I feel he’s being too harsh, he feels he is keeping the children accountable to their agreements.”

Anne Cawood, a Cape Town social worker in private practice and author of five parenting books, agrees that the most common area of disagreement between parents is that of discipline. Grace, who describes her early parenting style as permissive, is a good example. “Gary brought an authoritarian approach into his parenting, and, boy, did we clash,” she says. “I would ask him for help and his only solution was corporal punishment. I would then interfere in my attempt to shield or protect the boys, and he would feel undermined and the boys learnt to play us off against each other. I considered my parenting approach ‘far better’ than his and vice versa. The result was further alienation from each other and children who were confused.”

Differences in parenting styles may be exacerbated by religious and cultural beliefs. Dixon describes some of the issues faced by an American married to a Zulu South African: “She did not want her son to be exposed

respecting the other “Some people find it difficult to separate being able to love their partner as an individual and integrate their parenting style, so they begin to disrespect and experience contempt for their partner,” says Dixon. “There is a saying: ‘You can either be right or you can be in a relationship’. Parents may have to learn how to integrate their differences – sometimes through compromise or through expanding boundaries to be more inclusive.”

Dixon had a client where the Hindu mother wanted her children to learn the Bhagavad Gita, and her Christian husband wanted them to learn the Bible. The couple decided to expose themselves first to the different beliefs before deciding. “The result was healthy, rigorous debate, a decision to respect all paths and to offer the children a choice when they grew older,” she says.

For Cawood, successfully managing differences in parenting styles comes down to the couple’s communication skills. “It is all a matter of how the couple learns to communicate. No two parents will view parenting in exactly the same way. The issue is to find effective skills to communicate about the differences.”

Kobus van der Merwe, a Pretoria-based clinical relationship therapist, also highlights the importance of constructive dialogue between couples. For Van der Merwe, who has been running relationship workshops magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

style guide

power struggles

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parenting

useful reading •

• • •

Boundaries With Kids by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend (Zondervan Publishing Company) The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary D Chapman (Moody Publishers) Parenting from the inside out by Daniel Siegel and Mary Hartzell (Jeremy P Tarcher) Toddlers Need Boundaries and Children Need Boundaries by Anne Cawood (Metz Press)

create harmony

for 17 years, when couples are able to dialogue skilfully, different parenting styles can be richly valuable. He gives an example from his own marriage: “My perspective is discipline; my wife comes from a playful space. I need to be aware of this and keep it in mind. She needs to be open to when I can see that a pattern in the children’s behaviour needs to change.”

Difference can be advantageous to the emotional wellbeing of the family when parents are able to confront their own belief and value systems and discuss them with mutual respect. “Children can manage quite a high degree of conflict, especially when they witness resolution of that conflict,” says Dixon.

Cawood agrees. “Children will not be adversely affected by parents who have divergent styles – but they will be negatively affected if their parents allow these differences to impact the emotional atmosphere of the home. With open, positive communication, being a parent can become an amazing, challenging and exciting experience with opportunities for ongoing personal growth.” *Names have been changed

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Anne Cawood shares some of the skills and strategies of effective communication: • Be empathetic and put yourself in the shoes of your partner.

• See the perspective of the other parent by being an active listener.

• Be assertive and express your opinions non-judgmentally.

• Avoid criticising each other’s extended families.

• Don’t bottle up as this leads to explosions later.

• Learn to compromise.

• See your partner as the other part of your child’s life.

tips from The Family Life Centre Educational psychologist, Claudia Abelheim, gives tips for navigating this territory: • Your golden rule: make your children’s best interests your priority.

• Develop a joint parenting plan that puts boundaries and systems in place.

• Attend a parent education course – it can help parents find a more cohesive style that suits both parties’ needs.

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dad’s blog

eighteen candles As his daughter celebrates a milestone birthday, MARC DE CHAZAL reflects on almost two decades of being a father.

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t feels like just the other day that I held her tiny hand to help her safely across the street, and now I’m gripping the passenger seat of my car as she learns to negotiate the roadways. My daughter has turned 18. Her official legal status means she can finally obtain that ubiquitous ticket to freedom – a driver’s licence. Eighteen is quite a milestone for a child and a parent – she can vote, get her driver’s licence and flash her ID to get into a nightclub. I get to reflect on how time seems to have whipped by faster than the wind in Cape Town and hope she makes good decisions that will lead to success and happiness in her adult life.

Although she is now 18, I haven’t been absolved from being her dad. Not that I’d ever want absolution.

My daughter doesn’t need me any less now than she did when she was younger; her needs have simply

changed. I do get nostalgic when I recall lying next to her reading a story before bedtime (and trying not to fall asleep myself), but we still get to hang out watching a movie or over a meal, and I’m grateful for that. The one thing I cherish most about my 18 years of parenthood is that my daughter and I still communicate meaningfully, whether it’s about a serious topic – school issues, teenage pregnancy, idiotic drivers – or what the eccentric horse she rides got up to yesterday.

I was asked in a forum for fathers what my top parenting tip is for other dads. All I could think of on the spur of the moment was to “be present and engaged; always remain interested in your child’s world”. I don’t have more sage advice after almost two decades of being her dad. But so far this has worked okay for me.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

My daughter doesn’t need me any less now than she did when she was younger; her needs have simply changed.

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Read more of Marc’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za/dad-blog

August 2013

21

education

it’s what you know Being up to date on general knowledge can be of great advantage to your child’s academic and social life. MARC DE CHAZAL offers fun ideas to boost the brain power.

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ou can Google almost anything on a smartphone, but we are not necessarily smarter when it comes to general knowledge. A 2008 poll showed that 37 percent of Americans were unable to locate their home country on a world map. There’s a good chance our collective general knowledge is also a bit shoddy. According to the World Economic Forum, the South African education system is ranked near the very bottom in a survey of 144 countries.

Research has shown that new information can only be retained when it attaches itself to existing knowledge, so expanding your child’s core knowledge can only benefit him.

The key is to make it fun. This will not only make them more interested in the world, but will also give them practical information that may be really useful in life. Here are some things you can do with your child to improve their general knowledge.

read everything One of my favourite authors, the genial and humorous Bill Bryson, is a fountain of knowledge. If you read his hilarious memoir, The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid, you’ll understand why. Bryson’s parents owned a broad collection of books, and young Bill was given free rein to read whatever he wanted to, which he did. He grew up to become a celebrated travel writer, and wrote the award-winning general science book, A Short History of Nearly Everything. Incidentally, he also wrote the child-friendly A Really Short History of Nearly Everything.

To get your child into the habit of reading widely, you can start by taking her to the local library from a young age. Also include books as birthday and Christmas presents that will especially build their general knowledge, such as Big Questions from Little People Answered by Some Very Big People, compiled by Gemma Elwin Harris. In it, Bear Grylls explains if it’s OK to eat a worm, Dr Richard Fortey tells children why dinosaurs became extinct and other animals didn’t, and many others weigh-in on questions even adults would like answered.

Expose your child to other media as well. Think National Geographic Kids, which has an interactive website that offers numerous activities that will expand their knowledge in a fun way (visit kids.nationalgeographic.com). Newspapers are another powerful teaching tool, as there is something new to read, look at, think about and discuss every day.

“Children love to play – and general knowledge is best developed by engaging your child in games and quizzes,” says Jamie Miller, author of How to Become a Quizzing Genius.

There are myriad board games and online quizzes you can choose from. Trivial Pursuit, 30 Seconds and Cranium are perennial favourites.

I remember playing a simple game as a child that tests and improves general knowledge – the board game equivalent is Scattergories. The objective of the game is to score points by uniquely naming objects within a set of categories, given an initial letter, within a time limit. So your chosen categories could be cities, sports, music and movies.

If the letter is C, players write down a city, sport, song and movie beginning with the letter.

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August 2013

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PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

game on

All you need is paper, something to write with and your brain. A dictionary may be useful as well. I recall an adult family friend giving 12-year-old me a hard time when I insisted my spelling of “Yugoslavia” with a Y was correct. I was finally awarded the point, so I guess the game also taught me the value of perseverance.

If you want to improve your geography knowledge, a fun online game takes you on a journey around the world and challenges your ability to recognise your surroundings. You can spend hours guessing the locations of mysterious landscapes on geoguessr.com.

google it Thanks to search engines and the speed of computerised devices, facts are literally at our finger tips. Your child will be encouraged by his teachers to safely use the internet for research, but you can help on the general knowledge front too. You’ll find many quiz ideas for children online. You can also set up your own quiz that involves using the internet to find the answers. Ensure that the search settings on your home computer are child friendly.

write it down There is a proven neurological connection between long-term memory and mental manipulation. One way to improve a child’s memory is to ask them to write summaries of new information in their own words, says Dr Judy Willis, a US-based neurologist and former school teacher. If you’ve just come back from a family holiday, get your children to write about their experiences. “To make these even more personally meaningful the summaries can be in forms that suit their learning style preferences, including sketches, skits, songs, dances, comic strips or drawings,” says Willis.

leave home Your child will never be truly exposed to the world by staying at home and watching TV. Visiting interesting places, such as museums and aquariums, will do wonders for his general knowledge. Also visit more unusual places to discover how things are made, such as a chocolate factory or goat farm. If you have the means, take your child abroad to see and experience, first hand, the rich diversity of life on our fascinating planet.

Don’t underestimate the humble road trip that takes in the quieter corners of our country. You can garner the above practical suggestions over a weekend road trip. Read up about your destination in advance, set up fun quizzes to do en route and when you’re back home, and get your child to summarise his memories of the trip.

make the circle bigger The grown-up friends and extended family of my parents also taught me a thing or two about “life, the universe and everything”. Around the dinner table, I heard about the interesting countries they had visited, the professions they were in and their opinions about current affairs. Of course, you may need to censor the stream of adult conversations your child is exposed to, especially when alcohol is also flowing. magazine cape town

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23

book extract

scrum-diddily-umptious With ideas and tips from “foodie-families” all over the world, KIM McCOSKER compiled 4 Ingredients Kids, a cookbook with fun, imaginative and healthy recipes.

volcanic eggs makes 4

• 4 eggs, separated • 4 slices wholemeal bread, crusts removed • 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese Preheat the oven to 180°C. In a bowl, with an electric beater, beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form. Line a baking tray with baking paper.

Place the bread on the baking tray. Spoon a mound of egg white onto each slice, then make a little crevice on the very top and gently place the egg yolk in it. Sprinkle with Parmesan and a grind of black pepper (the volcanic ash). Bake until the egg white is firm, the cheese melted, and the egg yolk runny when you cut into it (molten lava); 8 to 12 minutes.

edible veggie bowl and dip serves 4

• 1 red capsicum (pepper) • 450g butternut pumpkin, peeled • ½ cup (80g) cashews • 3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

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PHOTOGRAPHS: STUART QUINN PHOTOGRAPHY

Preheat the oven to 180°C. Cut the pumpkin into 4cm cubes, place onto a baking tray and roast for 20 minutes or until golden in colour and soft in texture. Allow to cool for 15 minutes, then place the roasted pumpkin, cashew nuts and Parmesan cheese into a food processor and blend until combined. Season to taste. While chilling in the fridge, halve the capsicum and remove its seeds and membrane. Keeping one half as your “edible bowl” cut the other half into dipping sticks. Spoon the dip into the bowls, and then add the dippers to decorate. I chose to use them to create a thick sweep of eyelashes (I used some carrot and celery too). My little boys were mighty impressed!

Tip: Keep nutrition fun so children will enjoy being healthy. Try to be creative, for example, a slice of carrot may be met with more enthusiasm when called a “carrot chip”.

magazine cape town

magazine cape town

August 2013

25

book extract

baby blts makes 12 • 12 dinner rolls • 6 slices bacon, halved • ¼ head iceberg lettuce, shredded • 2 small tomatoes, thinly sliced Preheat the oven to 180°C. Place the rolls on a baking tray lined with baking paper and cut horizontally without cutting all the way through. Bake for 5 minutes or until just crunchy. Meanwhile, in a large frying pan, cook the bacon until crisp. Drain on paper towels. Just before serving, fill the rolls with bacon, lettuce and tomato.

Optional: Brush inside the rolls with mayonnaise or barbecue sauce before filling.

And to create your own “blat” add a fresh slice of creamy avocado.

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magazine cape town

4-minute strawberry soft serve serves 4

• 275g frozen strawberries • ¼ cup (50g) caster sugar •

2

/3 cup (160ml) cream

• ¼ teaspoon vanilla

Combine the frozen strawberries and sugar in a food processor or blender.

Process until the fruit is roughly chopped. Add the cream and vanilla and blend until combined. Serve immediately as a delectable soft serve, or freeze for at least 4 hours for a nice firm ice-cream.

Optional: The flavours for this are endless; raspberry, mango, blueberries and for a lighter version, substitute cream for your child’s favourite yoghurt.

about the book 4 Ingredients Kids is published by Simon & Schuster Australia and locally distributed by Jonathan Ball Publishers. 4 Ingredients is an Australian recipe book series, television programme and social media platform, run by Kim McCosker. This book came about after Kim realised that children learn visually through images, pictures, colours, light and shade. She decided on a cookbook not with hundreds of recipes, but the best recipes with images to inspire. She turned to social media and asked parents what their children love to eat, which recipes are part of their regular repertoire, and what their children made themselves. Eighty of the most popular recipes were chosen, which will introduce children to lots of different ingredients and help your child develop a love of food. For more recipes and handy tips, visit 4ingredients.com.au

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August 2013

27

parenting

coming to terms with trauma Help your child overcome an emotional or terrifying experience by

hen Amanda Barnes*, 38, of Cape Town, broke the news to her children that she was getting divorced, they reacted very differently. Her little boy, aged seven, became hysterical. “He was like a wild animal,” she says, “clinging to both of us, screaming, running between his dad and me. From then on, he had these desperate bouts regularly. My girl, aged nine, walked away from the drama in the room. All I got from her was a cold, quiet silence, and one or two tears.”

Lynne Cawood, director of Childline in Joburg, explains that children react to trauma in their own way. “The response is dependent on the child’s personality, the degree of support in the family and, of course, the nature of the trauma itself.” Although trauma can encompass a wide range of events – from the death of a parent, to a violent

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crime, to sexual assault – the effects of trauma on the mind of the child have some common features.

breaking the mental shield In their book, How Children Experience Trauma And How Parents Can Help Them

This is a normal daily process for healthy mental functioning. However, they say, “When a trauma occurs, the mental shield is broken and unbearable anxiety enters the person’s conscious mind, and the person is traumatised.” These primitive anxieties are reactivated and, as a result,

is not ready to face this reality, he uses the defence of denial, thus keeping this memory unconscious. In time, with healing, the child may be able to integrate this memory – that in spite of the gun to his head, he didn’t die – into his conscious mind.

the traumatised child

A supportive and stable family unit assists in helping a child deal with a traumatic event.

Cope (Penguin), Meg Fargher and Helen Dooley explain that we have a “mental shield” that acts “as a protective membrane to allow some thoughts and feelings into the mind while preventing others from gaining entry and so protecting people from thoughts that may be too unbearable.

the mind will try to protect itself from this unbearable anxiety by triggering various defence mechanisms.

They give the example of a child claiming that no guns were used in an armed robbery, despite the parent knowing that a gun was held to the child’s head. Because the child

Amanda explains that when she moved in with her new partner a short time after leaving her husband, her children began acting up. “My little boy started wetting his bed almost immediately, and my girl started eating more than ever. She even changed the way she dressed, wearing inappropriate clothes. Both children had regular and uncharacteristic outbursts; almost overnight they stopped telling me they loved me. They were not the same children. Although I was in love with my new partner, I eventually returned to my husband.”

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making them feel loved and safe again, says LISA LAZARUS.

The way trauma manifests, as one would expect, is partly age dependent.

Tumi Tsekoa-Monapathi, the intake officer at The Trauma Centre for Survivors of Violence and Torture based in Cape Town, explains the key differences between younger and older children’s responses to trauma. “Younger children often exhibit separation anxiety – they become frightened of strangers, clingy, and reluctant to part from their parents.

Sleep disturbances, either sleeping too much or too little, are common, as well as nightmares. There might be somatic complaints, where emotional issues are turned into physical symptoms, such as stomach aches. Because issues are dealt with through play, the trauma could be re-enacted in this way. A parent should also expect the child to regress to earlier developmental stages, such as bed-

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wetting or thumb-sucking. New fears may also present themselves.”

Tsekoa-Monapathi says that with older children and teenagers, one may well see a loss of interest in normal activities, feelings of depression, anger, irritability and/or aggressive behaviour, acting out, anxiety, reduced concentration, a decline in school work, and the use and abuse of alcohol and illicit drugs.

Regardless of a victim’s age, certain traumas are likely to provoke a severe psychological response, even if mitigating factors, such as a stable family unit, or a

child that exhibited strong coping skills prior to the trauma, are present. Violent crime, where a child might see someone murdered or violently attacked, is one such example. Under these circumstances, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), initially a diagnosis given to soldiers who had endured combat situations, might occur. Fargher and Dooley explain that in order to make a diagnosis of PTSD, the event must be such that there was “a real terror of being killed”. Significantly, this would include being a witness to such an event.

PTSD has far-reaching consequences, including the realignment of the child’s entire belief system. Children no longer take for granted that the world is “benign and predictable”. Their daily experience is also substantially altered, as reliving the trauma no longer falls under the child’s control. “A child might describe trying to concentrate in the classroom, (yet) their mind keeps taking them back to the sight of the gun at their mother’s head,” say Fargher and Dooley. Other changes include an increase in physical arousal, so that the child switches easily to a fight, flight or freeze mode. Because the child now experiences flashbacks, nightmares and intrusive bodily sensations, day-to-day life is hampered.

Stimuli that remind the child of the trauma, including smells, visuals and sounds, are perceived as the event happening again, rather than memories of the event.

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parenting

what should parents do?

After trauma, some symptoms are to be expected and, with the passage of time, the child should manage once more to erect her mental shield. However, if the child’s functionality has been severely disrupted and there is no improvement despite support, reassurance and the other traits of a healing environment, then Tsekoa-Monapathi would advise that a parent seeks help. Also, she explains that a parent should seek immediate help if the type of traumatic experience is of an especially serious nature, such as sexual or physical abuse, neglect, or exposure to an unsafe environment.

There are factors that make recovery easier or more difficult. “A supportive and stable family unit assists in helping a child deal with a traumatic event,” says Cawood.

Fargher and Dooley add that if the child had physical or emotional difficulties before the trauma, if there were multiple traumas, or if the child is frequently exposed to violence, healing could be hindered.

If a parent does decide to take a child for therapy, different options are available. Young children often benefit from play therapy, where communication with a therapist occurs through play.

Therapy for older children could be long

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term, such as analytic psychotherapy, which works predominantly with the unconscious, or more short-term, such as cognitive behaviour therapy, which challenges distorted belief systems and teaches behavioural techniques such as relaxation. For trauma, a short-term debriefing intervention, which is usually performed by counsellors, may be useful in offering support. A parent can also help by consulting with a professional and getting advice, known as psycho-education, on how best to intervene rather than bringing the child in for sessions.

Even if we want to believe that childhood is a time of joy and innocent pleasure, this is often not the case. Unfortunately, many children are exposed to painful traumas that are invariably accompanied by loss. Not only is the child’s mind and body flooded with unbearable and often overwhelming emotions, but the child’s belief that the world is safe and reliable is shattered. It is important to remember that adults can help children after such events, especially if adults acknowledge the child’s loss, while maintaining a sense of hope. It is to be expected that some scarring will remain, but there can also be a great deal of healing. * Name has been changed.

making your child feel safe again after experiencing trauma • Create a comforting and supportive experience, so your child feels loved.

• Allow them to talk freely about the experience. Some children will want to talk a lot; others won’t want to talk much. Allowing the child to talk and cry freely about the situation can help lessen its long-term impact.

• Explain to the child that fewer than five percent of people will prey on others.

Here you are trying to ensure that your child doesn’t get a distorted impression of the world. This is especially important when the child has witnessed a violent crime, such as a hijacking or a robbery. Children need to strike a balance between keeping themselves safe, and going out into the world.

• Restore normal family routines as quickly as possible. You want to stop the trauma from dominating family life. Try and not link everything in the child’s life back to the trauma.

• Provide the Childline number if your child wants to speak to someone privately and, if necessary, take the child to see a professional for counselling.

seek help Childline South Africa A 24-hour toll-free helpline. Contact: 0800 055 555 Child Welfare South Africa Contact: 011 452 4110 Johannesburg Child Welfare Society Contact: 011 298 8500, director@ jhbchildwelfare.org.za or visit jhbchildwelfare.org.za Cape Town Child Welfare Society Contact: 0800 435 754, information@ helpkids.org.za or visit helpkids.org.za Child Welfare Durban and District Contact: 031 312 9313, info@cwdd.org. za or visit cwdd.org.za Child Welfare Tshwane Contact: 012 460 9236, info@childwelfare.co.za or visit childwelfare.co.za

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reader’s blog

coffee chaos Even “daddymoms” aren’t perfect, but, as DARREN TILL learnt, we should strive to be vigilant at all times when it comes to the safety of our children.

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

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t happened so fast. It started out as a normal, but hectic morning: change child’s nappy, give child juice with morning poop medicine, feed dogs, entertain child, change child again, dress child, and so forth. Somewhere in between, I find time to hastily gulp down lukewarm coffee, get dressed, brush my teeth and hair and wolf down some breakfast. It was during the getting dressed part that it all started to go awry this particular morning.

I had just finished dressing and my son was in his walker in the bedroom entertaining himself with his favourite spoons (I don’t get it either). I nipped into the bathroom to put on some deodorant and brush my hair… couldn’t have taken me more than 60 seconds. When I emerged, there was my son with the empty coffee mug clutched between his tiny hands, the contents of which had already been poured into his lap, on the carpet and all over the walker. He had a huge smug grin on his face

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as if he had accomplished something very challenging.

Had it not been potentially life-threatening I would have praised him for his resourcefulness and lateral thinking.

What he’d managed to do was pull the fabric throw off the top of the wooden chest where we keep extra blankets and pillows. He had obviously carefully pulled the throw until the object of interest (daddy’s coffee mug) was within reach. A truly ingenious feat for a 17 month old with Down’s syndrome. Along with the throw and coffee mug came his two new outfits and a few other non-hazardous odds and ends... all also covered in coffee.

My first reaction was panic. Then I remembered the coffee was cold and my thoughts turned to anger and frustration at the mess I now had to clean up. But what if it hadn’t been cold? The thought is too terrifying to dwell on. How many of us would really know what to do? I’m fortunate to have some basic first-aid training, common

sense and a level head in a crisis. Accidents happen so quickly. It’s not like we’re careless. We try so hard to think of everything, but we’re only human after all and sometimes things slip through the cracks.

What have I learnt from this experience? Be as vigilant as you can, view everything as a potential hazard, but don’t beat yourself up when you sometimes get it wrong. Even “daddymoms” aren’t perfect. So I stopped being angry, gave him a long hug and was very grateful that this time I got a second chance because sometimes, sadly, you don’t.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

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your child’s life

a first time for

everything

We dread some of them, and celebrate others – MARC DE CHAZAL considers some of the “firsts” that leave parents with mixed feelings.

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hen is the right age to allow your child to experience rite-of-passage milestones, such as sleepovers or going to the movies without parental supervision, for the first time? As every child is different, there is no one-sizefits-all answer. Here are some things to consider when you make what will often be a very subjective decision.

first cellphone Only five percent of Child magazine readers polled in 2012 said they would allow their child to use a cellphone from Grade R; the majority said from Grade 7. Brace yourself for the inevitable “but Mom, everyone has one!” and further lobbying, whining and begging for her alleged right to use a cellphone, if she doesn’t already have one.

Bronwyn Thompson, whose son was the only child in his Grade 3 class without a phone (two of his classmates had iPhones), says: “I don’t think he needs one as I’m a stay-athome mom and do all the ferrying around.” Other parents, whose children use public transport to get to and from school and extramurals, understandably think a cellphone is necessary for emergency situations.

You may feel that your child is responsible enough to use a cellphone, but does she really need a smartphone with access to the internet, myriad apps and other advanced functions? Mobile phones today are powerful communication tools, which can create text, images and videos, and broadcast your location. Whenever you decide the time is right for your child to use one, establish some ground rules for appropriate use and consider installing an app to keep an eye on your child’s smartphone activities. Aderyn Exley, a counselling psychologist in Joburg, suggests parents approach cellphone use as a bargaining tool based on trust. “When a child proves trustworthy, a parent may slowly withdraw. But check in daily so you can stay on top of any weird stuff,” she says.

first sleepover Assess whether your child is emotionally ready to spend a night away from home before packing him off to his best friend’s house. He may be ready for his first sleepover at five or only when he’s 10. It’s normal for a child not to stay the entire night on his first few attempts at a sleepover, so be prepared to help him build his confidence. Also, let your child help pack his overnight bag and make sure he includes a favourite book, blanket or toy. You may want to reconsider a sleepover arrangement if there is an older sibling in the house or if you’re not entirely comfortable with the dynamics of the host family.

According to The Basic Conditions of Employment Act, you may not employ a child who is younger than 15. This doesn’t apply to voluntary charity work, however, so that’s always an option. If your teenager is ready for the rigours of a working environment, a part-time job over weekends or during school holidays is a great way to learn valuable work skills that he will need in his adult life. Consider limiting the number of hours he works to ensure his grades and extracurricular activities don’t suffer.

first time at a party with boys and girls Jane Davies allowed her daughter to attend mixed dancing parties from Grade 6, but always with parental supervision. “I would meet and chat to the host parents first to ensure

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first part-time job

I was comfortable with the setup, and we’d always drop her off and fetch her afterwards at a designated time,” she says.

first flight alone Not all airlines offer an unaccompanied minors’ service, but if they do it’s usually for a child between the ages of five and 11 travelling without the supervision of a parent or guardian who is 16 years or older. Once again, emotional readiness is an important consideration with this one. You should also prepare your child for what to expect well in advance of the flight, but it’s pretty safe and airline personnel generally take good care of unaccompanied minors.

first trip to the movies without supervision The 12- to 14-year-old age group is a popular stage for going to a movie without mom or dad. Consider dropping your child off at the entrance to the cinema and collecting him there again as soon as the movie is finished. You may be prepared to allow a younger child to be accompanied by an older sibling, but what if the older child needs to go to the toilet during the movie? You should also consider possible harassment of unaccompanied younger children by older ones in a cinema.

first time home alone Cindy Perry, a single mother, will not leave her 13-year-old daughter and nine-year-old son home alone just yet, even to pop out to the shops. “If I had an au pair or childminder it would be a different story, but I’m not prepared to risk leaving them home alone yet,” she says. The safety of the child rather than their trustworthiness is the biggest issue here.

Parents tend to be more relaxed leaving older teenagers home alone.

first time using make-up Lots of little girls like to play with toy make-up, but the time will come when she wants to wear the real stuff. With this first-time experience, the message you teach about beauty is probably more important than the age at which you allow her to start using make-up.

Nevertheless, you can offer recommendations about what is age appropriate.

first time getting ears pierced We’ve all seen babies sporting shiny studs in their ears, but many parents hold out until Grade 5 or even older. It’s prudent to have your child’s ears pierced at a reputable piercing stand and to take proper care of the holes to prevent possible infection. Also ensure you abide by your child’s school regulations for body piercings.

first date Some parents allow their child to date from the age of 12, others only when they’re 16. My 18-year-old daughter went to her farewell primary school dance in Grade 7 with a “date”, but her first “proper” date was around 16 – she wasn’t very interested in boys before this point. Consider a chaperone for younger children and insist on meeting your child’s date, setting ground rules and a curfew. You may even consider a double date, as some parents have, for first-timers. “If the boy won’t spend time with us, then he can’t be alone with our daughter,” says one mom. magazine cape town

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nutrition

like it or lump it?

Does this controversial sweetener have a place in

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our diet? Françoise Gallet investigates.

ugar is a much-maligned part of our diet. It’s blamed for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), obesity and sometimes even diabetes. A closer look at sugar’s rap sheet shows that not all the charges are fully warranted. But those that do stick offer cause for re-examining how much sugar we let our children eat.

Research from the Department of Medicine at Stanford University in California released in February, shows “conclusively that sugar intake, independent of calorie intake”, excess weight or a sedentary lifestyle, increases the risk for type 2 diabetes, cautions Dr David Segal, a Joburg-based paediatric endocrine and diabetes specialist. Prior to the release of this study, it was believed “that sugar had very little risk (of causing diabetes) apart from its caloric value and the tendency to mould eating patterns around sweet carbohydrates,” explains Segal. “The picture has changed significantly.” The Stanford study shows that increased sugar in a population’s food supply is directly and independently linked with higher type 2 diabetes rates. For every 150 kilojoules of sugar consumed per day the risk of developing diabetes increases by 1,1 percent. “One fizzy drink a day increases your risk of developing diabetes and increases your risk of heart disease by 20 percent,” cautions Segal.

Dr Daksha Jivan, a Joburg-based endocrinologist, also cautions her patients on the links between excessive sugar intake and the development of type 2 diabetes. “The strongest evidence base is from studies that associate the intake of sugar-sweetened beverages and type 2 diabetes.”

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sugar and diabetes

But she points out, “It is important to note that type 2 diabetes is a multifactorial disease – genetics plays an important role as does environment and lifestyle.”

There is another health concern associated with excessive intake of sugar. A 2009 scientific statement from the American Heart Association (AHA) warns of risks associated with excessive sugar intake and heart disease. Sugar intake “appears to be associated with increased triglyceride levels, a known risk factor for coronary heart disease.” It goes on to say that there is some indication that “higher consumption of high-sugar beverages and foods is associated with increased inflammation and oxidative stress.”

Joburg dietician, and spokesperson for the Association for Dietetics in South Africa, Claire Julsing Strydom explains, “Oxidative stress occurs when one eats a large amount of sugar or refined carbohydrates at one time. The excess glucose from the meal then floods cells in the body and causes the formation of free radicals, which damage the cells. This cell damage then leads to inflammation.”

Such chronic resultant inflammation can lay the foundation for the development, in adult years, of lifestyle conditions like cardiovascular disease.

However, “it is virtually impossible for glucose levels in healthy people to go high enough to cause this complication,” says Duduzile Mthuli, registered dietician and nutrition manager at the South African Sugar Association (SASA). Mthuli also points out that “sugar, like bread, rice, cereal and potatoes is a carbohydrate. All carbohydrates are converted by the body into glucose. Once glucose enters the blood, the body is unable to detect if the glucose has come from bread, rice or sugar.” However, what the AHA is raising flags about is the added sugars we find in soft drinks, sweets, cakes, biscuits, fruit juices, dairy desserts and sweetened milk products. And, they are unequivocal in their statement that the “excessive consumption of sugars is linked with “adverse health conditions”.

sugar and a healthy diet Even if you think you are being careful with how much sugar your child is eating, you may be in for a shock. Joburg-based dietician Michelle Orlando, who advises on a scientificallyformulated nutrition programme, shares the AHA’s guidelines for sugar intake:

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Children: under 4 years of age Two and a half teaspoons a day

4–8 years of age Three teaspoons a day

9+ years of age five to six teaspoons a day

While acknowledging this as a reasonable recommendation, Jivan comments that it is “likely that this is excessive for the obese and those otherwise predisposed to develop diabetes.”

Orlando sketches a worrying probable scenario for many children: “Three teaspoons of sugar in cereal (the amount of sugar in already sweetened cereals and some add even more sugar to it); two teaspoons of sugar in breakfast tea or hot chocolate; a further two teaspoons of sugar in the jam on the sandwich; eight to nine teaspoons of sugar in the tin of sweetened cold drink; 12 teaspoons of sugar in the small bag of jelly beans the child buys at the tuck shop; another seven teaspoons of sugar in the energy drink that is consumed at afternoon sport; two teaspoons of sugar in the sweetened veggies for supper equals 36 teaspoons of sugar for the day.”

The National Food Consumption Survey undertaken in 1999 interrogated South African children’s sugar intake and found evidence that corroborates such a scenario. The average intake of sugar among six to nine year olds was 42 grams (approximately 12 teaspoons) in urban areas and 26 grams (six teaspoons) in rural areas.

Also of concern is how the consumption of “hollow calories” in something like a sugary white bun with limited nutritive value can “crowd out nutrient-dense food” from the diet, explains Elsmari Nel, a registered dietician working at the Centre of Excellence for Nutrition at North-West University. “Most added sugars are in energy-dense, nutrient-poor foods,

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nutrition

nutrition

In nutrition there are no good or bad foods, just good or bad eating habits. Sugar can be enjoyed in moderation in a healthy diet. whereas naturally occurring sugars are primarily found in fruits, milk and dairy products that contain essential micronutrients. A report from the AHA’s Added Sugar Conference 2010 states that nutrient dilution can occur if you substitute nutrient-dense foods with foods with added sugars.

obesity and ADHD “Weight gain and obesity occur when we eat more calories or energy than our body can use. The excess calories are stored as fat. As sugar is an ingredient to many favourite foods such as ice cream and chocolate, it is natural to suspect that sugar causes weight gain,” explains Mthuli. However, “obesity isn’t caused by one key food, like sugar,” says Julsing Strydom. Rather, it needs to be seen as a “multifactorial condition” fuelled by “high-risk dietary practices such as the intake of sugar and refined carbohydrates, the over consumption of saturated fats and trans-fats, energy-dense foods, and the lack of fruit and vegetables in our diets coupled with a sedentary lifestyle.”

Pretoria medical doctor Hein Badenhorst, also father to a son diagnosed with ADHD, is quite clear that the condition, like obesity, is a multifactorial diagnosis and sugar cannot be attributed as a single causal factor. It does, however, have a “medically documented link with the signs and symptoms of ADHD”, such as “inattentiveness”. He says, “The brain can only function on glucose, not complex carbohydrates and fat. The secret to concentration is dependent on a constant supply of sugar to the brain. It is very difficult to concentrate and endure when your (blood) sugar levels go up and down.” When refined sugar foods are consumed on empty stomachs, like the first school break when children rush to the tuck shop, they get 30 minutes of energy and then are left “out of their game for hours”.

Jeske Wellmann, a Joburg-based dietician and coauthor of Sustained Energy for Kids and Snacks and Treats for Sustained Energy Recipe Book (Tafelberg Publishers), agrees. “If blood glucose is not controlled it will influence brain function and thus our ability to function optimally. It would also have a negative effect on the growth and development of children.

Children need a constant supply of glucose to learn and observe their environment.”

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She demonstrates this with a practical example: “A small packet of wine gums or jelly babies will give you 30 to 45 grams of carbohydrates. The main ingredient is glucose and this will be immediately available in the body as it’s a ‘simple’ sugar. If you eat two to three slices of low-GI bread, which will also give you 30 to 45 grams of carbohydrates, it will release over a period of two to three hours. The same amounts of carbohydrates are given, but over different time periods.”

If parents are concerned with fuelling sustained concentration they need to ensure their children are nourished by a diet that is rich in vegetables, fruit, wholegrain carbohydrates and protein. “Vegetables and wholegrain foods, compared to refined glucose-dense carbohydrates, are slower-release carbohydrates, also called lower-glycaemic index (GI) foods and they “ensure a slower, steadier stream of glucose being released into the bloodstream,” says Wellmann.

good food, bad food Nonetheless, it’s time to stop “labelling food as good and bad”, counsels Orlando.

Children who experience food in this way can grow up to believe that “good” foods like vegetables and fruit, are “yucky” and “bad” food, like chocolate and sweets, are “nice”.

The sweet taste of sugar adds to our enjoyment of meals and snacks. Indeed, the 2009 AHA statement states that when sugars are “added to otherwise nutrient-rich foods, such as sugar-sweetened dairy products like flavoured milk and yogurt and sugar-sweetened cereals, the quality of children’s and adolescents’ diets improve”. “In nutrition there are no good or bad foods, just good or bad eating habits. Sugar can be enjoyed in moderation in a healthy diet,” says Mthuli. The key for most parents is examining our perceptions of moderation.

artificial sweeteners why use them: They taste much sweeter than sugar yet contain very few kilojoules and are useful for those who need to control blood-glucose levels, such as those with diabetes or those trying to lose weight. If foods and drinks sweetened with artificial sweeteners are replacing foods that contain essential nutrients, “their lack of sugar does not necessarily make them a better choice,” says Wellmann. are they safe?

• The American Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics’ view is that they are safe to use at levels that are within the acceptable daily intake (ADI).

• Joburg dietician Ria Catsicas upholds this view but warns that “the long-term safety of artificial sweeteners has never been tested”.

• Cape Town paediatric dietician Katherine Megaw counsels against replacing sugars with artificial sweeteners for children. what are they?

• Aspartame is made from two amino acids (L-aspartyl and L-phenylalanine methyl ester).

• Sucralose is manufactured from sugar. A small amount of chlorine is added and that changes its properties so that the body does not recognise it as a carbohydrate. how much can we consume?

Children Manufacturers of aspartame and sucralose, do not “particularly recommend” these artificial sweeteners “for infants or very young children, up to the age of three years old”.

Adults The ADI for sucralose, as recommended by the American Food and Drug Administration, is 5mg/kg of body weight and for aspartame 50mg/kg of body weight.

natural sweeteners • Honey is broken down to glucose and fructose in the body and has the same GI effect as sugar.

• Fructose has a low GI, but an over-consumption of fructose can cause gastrointestinal discomfort, cautions Wellmann.

• Xylitol is a sugar molecule bound to an alcohol molecule. “This makes it more difficult to digest, which means that the sugar is released into the bloodstream more slowly. However, it can cause gastric discomfort,” warns Wellmann.

• Agave and stevia Both are intensely sweet, plant-derived sweeteners. “One needs to use less compared to sugar to get the same level of sweetness,” says Catsicas. “Agave also has a low-GI value and does not affect the blood-glucose levels as significantly as sugar.”

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resource

a business plan Create a young entrepreneur by encouraging your children to use their basic skills and turn their creativity into a business. CHILD MAGAZINE gives you some ideas. projects to do at home fruit and veg

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together, such as tomatoes and basil, or carrots and plants from the onion family.

• If you have a lemon tree, avo tree, chilli bush or other food-producing plant in your garden, children can sell extra produce in season.

• Help your child source wooden boxes to grow vegetables or get them to make their own. Place trays of seedlings, plant food for the seedlings and instructions in the boxes. To ensure repeat business, children can put together refill packs, depending on the time of year.

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

• Show your child how to grow herbs and veggies in pots or in the garden. Choose herbs that grow well and quickly, and that will keep producing for most of the year. Peas grow in winter, while most herbs flourish in spring and summer. Citrus will be available into winter, and berries do well in summer.

• Children can research easy-to-grow veggies and herbs, and then make seed packs. They can also include instructions such as the season in which to plant these seeds, the amount of sunshine required, and what type of soil to use. Put companion plants

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home and garden help

masterchef

• Pet services Children who are good with animals can offer a dog walking service, if it is in a safe neighbourhood. Make sure you know what dogs your child will be walking, and that they are safe to be around. It is also important that you know the route your child will be taking, and that there is sufficient pavement space, so she won’t need to walk on the road.

• Garden services Mow the grass, do weeding and water the plants. Children can do this at home for a fee, or offer the service to neighbours you know well and trust.

• DIY Painting, fixing things around the house, hanging pictures and doing odd jobs is a good way for children to earn some income. If they are old enough, they may like to offer this service to neighbours or even an old age home.

• Beauty Girls may like to offer nail treatments to local moms. If there are a few girls working together, they could set up a Saturday morning session for neighbourhood ladies. This service can be offered at your home, where you are nearby to supervise. Alternatively, they may like to offer it at a local retirement village.

• Functions Get your child to offer to help out at school fundraisers and birthday parties, entertaining children with games, face painting and painting tattoos (a big hit with boys).

• Biscuits, cakes, rusks, cupcakes and other baked goodies can be made to order or sell at markets.

Your child can also help to cater for your friends’ or family’s parties and special occasions.

• Homemade chilli sauce, pickled onions, tomato relish, mayonnaise, pesto and other sauces can be made in big batches and sold at school or to friends and family. Children can experiment with dressing up ordinary goodies as a tasty treat. One idea is to place olives and feta into a bottle together, and add some olive oil and rosemary sprigs.

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computers • Designing Tech-savvy children can set up websites using tools such as WordPress. Other options include designing business cards, flyers, invitations and posters. Photo calendars are also easy to design and would appeal to parents and grandparents. These services can be offered online or to people you know.

• Keeping in touch Children can offer to write emails for people in old age homes, or set up Skype sessions for them on an iPad or a laptop. Alternatively, they can teach people how to set up their own email and Skype accounts, either in individual sessions or in groups, if there are enough computers.

• Hardware Children with a head for hardware can fix computers or put them together for people. They can even offer basic computer literacy sessions at nearby retirement villages.

• Quiches, tarts and pies can be made to order.

• Ready-made meals are a big plus for busy moms.

Children can make items for lunchboxes or make healthy baby and toddler meals. These could be picked up from your house, or you could help deliver them once a week. A good time would be a Sunday night, so moms are stocked up for the week ahead.

• Homemade muesli, premade biscuit or bread dough, and ready-to-use bread crumbs are easy to make and it can be done once a week and sold to neighbours, teachers or family.

be safe • I f your child will be unsupervised, make sure you know who they will be selling to, or with whom they will be working.

Teachers or staff at school, neighbours that you know, and family friends are safe bets. Also make sure they have a charged cellphone with them at all times.

• Don’t send your child out to knock on doors unless you are very familiar with your neighbours.

• Make sure children are old enough for the task they are undertaking, especially if you may not be there to supervise.

• Whenever possible, see if children can run their enterprises from the safety of your own home or office, where you can keep an eye on them.

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resource

art and crafts • Thrift Photo frames can be made out of driftwood, old wood from around the house, or from reclaimed junk like old wire or wine corks.

• Being creative Make trendy wooden hearts to hang on the wall, material hearts and heart frames. Children can build or make their own and sell them at a local craft market or to a decor shop.

• Interior design Small blocks of mounted canvas can be painted to match room themes. These can be bought at a craft shop and children with artistic flair can paint them to order. Set up a portfolio so people can order what they like or clients can provide an idea or picture of what they want. Making items to order ensures that overheads aren’t excessive.

• Fashion and design If children can knit, scarves, hats and soft toys are a good option. Crocheted items, beaded jewellery, hair accessories and handbags are all items that children with a creative streak can make.

projects to do at school sports day • Tournaments Children can organise different sports tournaments so as to include everyone, such as hockey, soccer or athletics. They can register teams beforehand, and draw up rosters or pools for teams. On the day, scorekeepers will have to keep track of which teams move through to the final rounds.

• Oddball Olympics These sports days can include fun games for children, especially if they are little, with activities like three-legged races, sack races, wheelbarrow races, Frisbee golf, egg-and-spoon races or tug of war. Other ideas are getting sumo wrestling suits, riding a mechanical bull, playing largescale foosball where teams are tied together by ropes, having an inflatable climbing wall, or building an obstacle course.

• Behind the scenes Children not taking part in the sports events can sell tickets, or set up food stalls and sell refreshments.

science fair • Science experiments Children can set up a science fair, where parents and other children pay a small entry fee to view the experiments. These include anything from building volcanoes and lava lamps, to experimenting with how sound travels through objects, or demonstrating what happens when you mix a carbonated beverage and Mentos.

• Ecofriendly projects Classes can come up with ideas that can be used to help others, either at home or in disadvantaged communities. Some ideas include how to grow grass to stop soil erosion, easy ways to make compost from kitchen scraps, demonstrating unusual ways of household cleaning such as using lemon juice, coke, or tomato sauce to clean items, or designing a solar cooker.

• How it’s made Children can demonstrate how things are constructed, either by using models or by building their own. Rockets, steam engines, gliders, planes, or a compass are a few ideas.

• Biology Classes can put together demonstrations that show how things in nature work, such as worm or ant farms (made with glass, so you can see inside them), or a solar system model.

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market day • Recycled and upcycled Children can find old things around the house and turn them into toys, decor, storage containers and anything else inspirational.

Use old jewellery to make decor, or revamp old boxes into unique storage units.

• Fun and games Children can offer activities for others to buy, such as wooden puzzles, DIY kits (for example, a make-your-own-kite kit), or have a stall where children can play games, such as a treasure hunt, fishing for magnet fish, or popping a balloon for a prize.

• Food Baked goods, such as cakes, biscuits, cupcakes, toffee apples, chocolate clusters or homemade muesli, will appeal to children shopping for snacks and parents looking for items to take home. For food on-the-go, hamburgers, hotdogs, popcorn, pancakes, samoosas, soft drinks and juices are good options.

• Smellies Children can make soaps, bath salts, scented candles, linen sachets, or lavender garlands for the clothes’ cupboard.

• Handmade items These can include clothes, decor, blankets, knitted or crocheted items, and handbags.

• Festive season If your market is held towards the end of the year, Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, cards, tree ornaments and other festive goodies will go down well.

• Services Face painting, hair spraying, nail art, and temporary or henna tattoos can be offered as well.

• Entertainment Children with a flair for performing can run a karaoke contest or dance-offs. Other children can try busking, blowing balloon animals or stilt walking.

dash for trash

online resources

Jonathan is a 12-year-old budding

• e ntrepreneurship.co.za – the South African Institute for Entrepreneurship promotes a positive mindset in youth and adults, and assists in the eradication of poverty through the creation of effective entrepreneurs and enterprises.

• entrepreneurmag.co.za – gives sample business plans and tips on how to start a business.

• teenentrepreneur.co.za – they cultivate and promote the entrepreneurial spirit in teenagers through seminars and workshops.

• gibs.co.za – The Gordon Institute of Business Science aims to create a new generation of leaders, armed with the capacity and insights to lead their businesses, public institutions and social enterprises.

entrepreneur from Cape Town. He came up with this idea to make extra pocket money over weekends.

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books

a good read for toddlers

for preschoolers

First 100 Numbers

By Roger Priddy (Published by Priddy Books, R29) This is a first numbers book for babies and toddlers. It is a great resource to encourage sharing, with bright pictures of recognisable objects. It focuses on lots of different areas such as body parts, animals and fruit. The book features over 100 clear, sharp photographs with text labels to help develop children’s number recognition and counting skills. It starts with the human body (one body, two eyes), and there is a red fire engine, 11 swimming fish, ending with 100 fluffy chicks. The book is a fantastic addition to Priddy’s bestselling First 100 Board Books series; a simple, timeless design in a durable format.

Knock! Knock! Open the Door

By Michaela Morgan and David Walker

a surp r on ev ise ery page

(Published by MacMillan Children’s Books, R120) Where is that special person Mom and Dad promised to bring home? There are lots of knocks at the door as new animal friends come calling, but none of them are quite sure who this little toddler is expecting. She’s waiting for someone cuddly like the polar bear, funny like the spotty cat, cute like the penguin, bouncy like the kangaroo, smelly like the skunk and noisy like the dinosaur. This is a lovely introduction for toddlers to a new brother or sister arriving home.

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What is in the Yellow Envelope?

By Leoni Webster and Annelie Sdralis (Published by Money is Childsplay CC, R80, postage excluded) Today is Simon’s birthday and Grandpa gives him a yellow envelope. Inside is money. In this book, Grandpa explains to Simon how he can earn money, where it comes from and how to look after it. The authors, a financial manager and teacher, developed this series specifically for children and adults to explain money matters. It contains loads of fun – with brainteasers, games and money-related field trip ideas. Visit money4kids.co.za to order.

a valuable lesson

Oh, What a Tangle!

By Anita Pouroulis and Monika Filipina Tzrpil (Published by Digital Leaf, R80) Kiki is an artistic little girl who’d prefer to do anything other than brush her hair every day. There are simply so many other, better things to do. So it comes as no surprise when Kiki’s hair develops a tiny, tangled knot.

But rather than wish it gone, Kiki nurtures that knot until it becomes something grand, something worthy of an incredible story. David Orme, children’s writer and poet, calls the artwork outstanding and the story powerfully imaginative and great fun while the author and performer of Spill the Beans, David Harmer, describes this book as very funny, and a treat for the eye and ear.

magazine cape town

for early graders

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and the Race against Time

By Frank Cottrell Boyce (Published by Candlewick Press, R183) When the Tootings return to Zobrowski Terrace at the end of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Flies Again, they find that home is looking a lot like Jurassic Park. But this is no theme park – a very real and very hungry T. Rex is charging them. Thanks to Dad’s inadvertent yanking of Chitty’s “Chronojuster” lever, the spirited car has ushered them back to prehistoric times.

But Chitty has a mind of her own, and the Tootings will get an unexpected tour of exciting times and places from Prohibitionera New York, where Chitty wants to compete in the famous Prix d’Esmerelda’s Birthday Cake race, to the lost city of El Dorado and back again.

magazine cape town

Explorers – Ancient Egypt

By Jinny Johnson (Published by Kingfisher, R125) Bursting with colour and drama, lively artwork scenes draw children into subjects and provide a wealth of information.

Written in a clear, friendly style and full of fascinating facts, Explorers is a fresh and fun first-reference series for inquisitive young readers. In this edition, children can explore the busy fields beside the river Nile, meet pyramid builders, mighty gods and warlike Pharaohs, and discover the amazing history of ancient Egypt. Other subjects in the series include weather, rainforests, reptiles, robots, dinosaurs, planet earth, whales and dolphins, stars and planets, and more. The series is recommended for children from the age of six years old.

I Wonder Why the Dodo is Dead & I Wonder Why Soap Makes Bubbles

By Andrew Charman and Barbara Taylor

build y own li our brary

(Published by Kingfisher, R104 each) Colourful, surprising and full of information, the I Wonder Why books have set thousands of young minds buzzing. I Wonder Why the Dodo is Dead is the perfect introduction to extinct and endangered animals, featuring polar bears in peril, right whales at risk, rhinos and much more. I Wonder Why Soap Makes Bubbles introduces children to science, featuring rainbows, fizzy drinks, musical instruments and more. Clear, lively text answers all those tricky questions about how the world works, while friendly, funny cartoons add interest. With more than 35 titles across a mindexpanding range of subjects, this series will amaze and amuse young children.

for preteens and teens Doll Bones

By Holly Black (Published by Random House, R194) Zach, Poppy and Alice have been friends forever. And for almost as long, they’ve been playing one continuous, ever-changing game of pirates and thieves, mermaids and warriors. Ruling over all is the Great Queen, a bone-china doll cursing those who displease her.

But they are in middle school now. Zach’s father pushes him to give up make-believe, and Zach quits the game. Their friendship might be over, until Poppy declares she’s been having dreams about the queen, and the ghost of a girl who will not rest until the bone-china doll is buried in her empty grave. Zach, Alice and Poppy set off on one last adventure to lay the queen’s ghost to rest, but nothing goes according to plan.

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for preteens and teens a book you won’t forget

The Child’s Elephant

By Rachel Campbell-Johnston (Published by Random House, R174) When a baby elephant is left orphaned on the African savannah, Bat, a young herd boy, takes her home and cares for her. But Bat’s grandmother knows that Meya cannot stay with them forever; the call of the wild will always be sounding in her soul. And there are rumours borne on the wind; frightening stories of war. Bat and his closest friend, Muka, are catapulted into a new life of unimaginable terror. Now memories of their village world feel so far away. Will the bond between elephant and child remain strong enough to save them?

This is a thrilling new novel, which tells a heartbreaking, lifelike tale.

The Windvale Sprites

By Mackenzie Crook (Published by Faber Children’s Books, R107) When a storm sweeps through the country, Asa wakes up the next day to find that his town is almost unrecognisable. Trees have fallen down, roofs have collapsed and debris lies everywhere. But among the mess in his back garden Asa makes an astounding discovery – the body of a small winged creature – a creature that looks very much like a fairy. Do fairies really exist? Asa embarks on a mission to find out, a mission that leads him to the lost journals of local eccentric Benjamin Tooth who, 200 years earlier, claimed to have discovered the existence of fairies. What Asa reads in those journals takes him on a secret trip to Windvale Moor, where he discovers much more than he’d hoped to.

for us Gloria

By Kerry Young

I’m Missing News

By Katy Katopodis (Published by Pan Macmillan South Africa, R180) Any working mother can identify with the constant juggle of career and children, but when your business is bringing breaking news to the world, the pressures you find yourself under can be extreme. Katy Katopodis, head of Eyewitness News, shares the stories and pressures that see her attempting to balance her dual roles as “Editor Katy” and “Mommy Katerina”, often with distinctly entertaining and stressful results. She has also canvassed the views and perspectives of other women who work in the media spotlight and includes their anecdotes and often moving commentary in the course of her own story.

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(Published by Bloomsbury, R195) It is Jamaica, 1938 and Gloria Campbell is 16 years old when a single violent act changes her life forever. She and her younger sister flee their hometown to forge a new life in Kingston. As all around them the city convulses with political change, Gloria’s desperation and striking beauty lead her to Sybil and Beryl, and a house of ill-repute where she meets Yang Pao, a Kingston racketeer whose destiny becomes irresistibly bound with her own.

Sybil kindles in Gloria a fire of social justice, which will propel her to Cuba and a personal and political awakening that she must reconcile with the realities of her life, her love of Jamaica and a past that is never far behind her.

magazine cape town

for us a wake-up call

A Bantu in my Bathroom

By Eusebius McKaiser

(Published by Bookstorm, R181) Why are South Africans so uncomfortable with deep disagreement? Why do we lash out at people with opposing views without taking the time to engage logically with their arguments? Eusebius McKaiser is on a mission to raise the level of debate in South Africa. He provokes us from our comfort zones and lures us into the debates that shape our opinions and our society. With surprising candour and intensely personal examples, McKaiser examines our deepest-felt prejudices and ingrained assumptions. Don’t expect to read this book and escape with your defences intact. Immensely readable and completely engaging, McKaiser tackles deeply South African questions of race, sexuality and culture. The foreword of the book is written by the rector and vice-chancellor of the University of the Free State, Jonathan Jansen.

parenting books something new

Why French Children Don’t Talk Back

By Catherine Crawford

(Published by Hodder & Stoughton, R135) Catherine Crawford, a mother of two young daughters, is tired of the indulgent brand of parenting so popular in her trendy Brooklyn neighbourhood.

All of the negotiating and bargaining has done scant more than to create a generation of little tyrants.

After being exposed to the well-behaved, respectful children of her French friends, she wanted to find out why French children don’t talk back. This book is a witty and insightful look at how the French manage to bring up obedient, well-adjusted children. It occupies a pragmatic place on the bookshelf and in life and gives you an anti-Tiger Mother approach to parenting.

Toddler Sense

By Ann Richardson

Prematurity – Adjusting your Dream

By Welma Lubbe (Published by Little Steps, Pretoria, R300) Becoming a parent must be the single most exciting experience in the life of a mother and father, and the premature arrival of a baby is the least wanted and most feared.

This book was written and designed to guide parents on their journey of learning to understand and cope with the realities and challenges of having a premature baby. It gives you the information you need to understand the activities in the neonatal intensive care unit and its personnel. You can learn to understand and interact with your tiny baby, and the book shows you how to cope with your baby’s emotional, physical and health-related needs. Also learn to understand and cope with your own and each others’ emotions and needs.

To order, visit littlesteps.co.za magazine cape town

(Published by Metz Press, R160) Now fully updated and expanded to include the latest relevant research, this ever popular book tells you how to recognise and understand your toddler’s unique sensory profile. Learn how to manage stimulation to avoid overload and solve bedtime battles with age-appropriate sleeptraining. It shows you how to discipline with love and a sense of humour and gives a sensible approach to toilet training and more. The term “picky eating” has recently been re-classified as an “eating disorder of early childhood”. The book has been updated to include a dedicated chapter on managing the picky eater.

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calendar

what’s on in august

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by LUCILLE KEMP

23

FUN FOR CHILDREN – p50

ONLY FOR PARENTS – p53

Inaugural junior historian workshop An outdoor amble spent appreciating historical attractions and their architectural characteristics.

Women’s Wellness wake-up workshop with 3 Tons of Fun Join the popular singing trio, who were challenged to a lifestyle makeover.

bump, baby & tot in tow – p54

how to help – p54

NINO: Grow Your Baby’s Brain parent day Dr Nils and Jill Bergman cover the latest neuroscience of how the baby’s brain grows.

Red Balloon Revolution They give underprivileged children a chance to celebrate their birthdays and help them develop their personal talent.

SPECIAL EVENTS – p48 Cirque de la Symphonie An extravaganza with aerial artists, contortionists and the Cape Philharmonic Orchestra combines the thrill of the circus with the majesty of live popular classical music.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

fri

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SPECIAL EVENTS 2 friday Prince Albert creative winter school Participate in a range of courses, lectures, workshops, demonstrations, exhibitions and excursions conducted by local experts.

Ends 11 August. Time and cost: varies.

Contact: princealberttourism@intekom. co.za or visit princealbert.org.za Reach for your Slippers Day Support the hopes of children fighting life-threatening illnesses. Buy a R10 sticker, slide into your slippers and help make these children’s dreams come true. Stickers are available at the Reach for a Dream office in Canal Walk Shopping Centre or at any Hirsch’s branch. Contact: 021 555 3013 or visit reachforadream.org.za

the champion best on-show rabbit and other classes; an Angora rabbit shearing and spinning of wool demonstration; Angora wool products on display; a rabbit petting area for children; rabbits for sale; fancy breeds and fur breeds; Rex and Satin rabbits and pet bunnies. Also 4 August. Time: 9:30am–6pm. Venue: The Blue Shed, V&A Waterfront. To register your rabbit and for more info, contact: caperabbitclub@gmail.com

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Agricultural Veteran Tractor Expo Veteran engines, tractors, vehicles and personal treasures are on display. There are also traditional farm activities like cooking moskonfyt, baking bread, kaiings uitbraai (cracklings) and brandy distilling. There are many stalls and entertainment on Friday and Saturday evening. Ends 11 August.

Time: 8am till late. Venue: Villiersdorp showgrounds. Cost: adults R50, scholars R10. Contact Eniel: 028 840 1104

9 friday

3 saturday Melkbosstrand Private School open day and farm market The school is hosting an open day for children 18 months–18 years old. Meet the staff and students. The farm market is selling homemade foods, fresh produce, toys, art and more. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: M19, Melkbosstrand. Cost: free. Contact Leatitia: 021 553 1530 or visit melkbosadmin.co.za Rabbit show at the Cape Rabbit Club The club is having their first show and urges all rabbit breeders and owners to enter their pets. There is judging for

8 thursday

7

wed Camps Bay Primary School Art Auction Time: 6pm. Venue: school hall, Dunkeld Rd, Camps Bay. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit campsbayprimary.co.za

Grand Ball Gall Fashion Show The live Trojan Warrior show that took place in the June school holiday now reveals the Trojan Warrior masks in an evening that features dinner and an auction to raise funds. Time: 6pm. Venue: Ratanga Junction, Century City. Cost: R350. Contact: bernadette@ trojanwarriors.co.za Robertson Slow The winemaking families of the Robertson Wine Valley share their family recipes. There are also trips in the veld, a mountain bike event and a regional food market. This year, Pat Busch Private Nature Reserve is hosting two fun, handson activities for those wanting to learn how to make their own pasta or gnocci from scratch. Ends 11 August. Time: varies. Venue: participating wineries of the Robertson Wine Valley. Cost: varies. Contact Elizma: 023 626 3167, manager@robertsonwinevalley. com or visit robertsonslow.com

9–11 August – Robertson Slow

Women’s Day brunch The bistro-style eatery offers patrons a choice between set seasonal menus and à la carte dishes.

Children are also catered for. The focus is on fresh, light dishes using mostly local ingredients. The fireplaces in the manor house are lit to create a relaxed, warm and intimate atmosphere. Time: 10am–12:30pm. Venue: The Red Table, Nederburg Wine Farm. Cost: varies.

Contact: 021 877 5155 or theredtable@ nederburg.co.za

magazine cape town

10 saturday The Sleeping Beauty This fairy-tale ballet with a beautiful princess, a handsome prince, the evil fairy, and the most romantic kiss of all time features an all-star cast, including Roberta Marquez and Nehemiah Kish from The Royal Ballet in London. It is presented by Cape Town City Ballet. Ends 18 August. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: Artscape Opera House. Cost: R100–R300. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695

thrill of the circus with live, classical music.

Ends 25 August. Time: varies. Venue: Artscape Opera House. Cost: R190–R280.

Contact Luvuyo: 021 410 9809, luvuyo@ cpo.org.za or visit cpo.org.za

24 saturday The Bellville German Kindergarten fundraiser with Zip Zap Circus This is a high-energy, jaw-dropping dance and acrobatics show given by the Zip Zap performers. Half the ticket price goes to the Bellville German Kindergarten to improve the children’s playground and classrooms.

Proceeds from the other half go to Zip Zap Circus which provides children with the resources to develop skills through the medium of circus arts. Time: 3pm. Venue: The Zip Zap Circus dome, Jan Smuts St, (behind Artscape Theatre). Cost: R60; children under 2 free. Contact Sabine: 083 258 0728 or Barbara: 079 522 4641

25 sunday

10–18 August – The Sleeping Beauty

23 friday Cirque de la Symphonie A threedimensional symphonic extravaganza with aerial artists and contortionists and the Cape Philharmonic Orchestra combines the

magazine cape town

Blisters for Bread Walkers and runners are encouraged to come out in support of the Peninsula School Feeding Association and feed hungry children. All funds raised are directed to the school feeding programme so that more learners can be fed. Choose between the 5km, 10km or 15km distances. Time: 8am. Venue: Green Point Cricket Club. Cost: R42. Contact: 021 511 7130, fundraising@psfa.org.za or visit psfa.org.za

Nedbank Cape Winemakers Guild Auction Showcase Experience stellar wines with a creative edge and great diversity from some of South Africa’s most lauded winemakers. Benchmarking over 30 years of winemaking excellence, the guild comprises 45 winemakers who jointly represent the pinnacle of South African wine achievement. Time: 6pm–9pm. Venue: Cape Town International Convention Centre (CTICC). Cost: R170 per person including a tasting glass. Book through Webtickets: visit webtickets.co.za

22 thu

27 tuesday Amy Biehl Foundation Youth Spirit Awards 2013 The evening pays homage to exceptional youngsters in the area who are dedicated to helping others. The Amy Biehl Foundation is a non-profit organisation that specialises in after-school care programmes for youngsters living in challenged and vulnerable communities within the Western Cape. The keynote speaker is Minister Trevor Manuel. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: School

of Public Health, UWC. Cost: free entry; donations welcome. Contact: 021 462 5052 or visit amybiehl.co.za

29 thursday Clanwilliam Wildflower Show There is a kaleidoscopic display of all the flowers that can be seen in the veld. This year, for the first time, there is also an exposition on the birds, bees, bats, mice and other creatures that keep the floral kingdom

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31 sat

Mountain Warrior Trail Run Festival The two-day, stage trail run’s routes take participants on the slopes and contours of the Stellenbosch and Simonsberg mountains, beneath the Two Peaks and over Botmaskop on day one and a major section of the Greater Simonsberg Conservancy on day two. There is a 36km, 15km, 25km, 12km and 5km trail. Also 1 September.

Time: varies. Venue: Rustenberg Wine Estate (outside Stellenbosch). Cost: varies.

Contact: 082 517 4799, entries@iqela-events.co.za or visit mountainwarrior.co.za

alive. An ultraviolet viewing room is also being set up, allowing visitors to see the flowers as the insects do. Ends 8 September. Time: varies. Venue: varies.

Cost: varies. Contact: 027 482 2024 or visit clanwilliamwildflowerfestival.co.za

30 friday Botanical art at the Kirstenbosch Biennale The botanical garden and the Botanical Society of South Africa celebrate 100 Blooming Years and features the best of local and international botanical artists. One of the highlights is the paintings of Capebased Margaret de Villiers, who recently won a gold medal and best in show at the annual Royal Horticultural Society’s Botanical Art Show in London. The focus this year is on medicinal and traditional-use of plants of southern Africa. Ends 15 September. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Old Mutual Conference Centre, Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit sanbi.org.za

Time: call to enquire. Venue: The Drive, Camps Bay. Cost: varies. Contact Kathy: 083 654 2494, info@kidzdiscovery.co.za or visit kidzdiscovery.co.za CapeGators Club On 17 August there is a jewellery and beading workshop. For 3–13 year olds. Time: 11am. Venue: CapeGate Shopping Precinct, Brackenfell. Cost: free.

For more info: visit capegatecentre.co.za Cape Town Science Centre With over 300 permanent interactive exhibits for children while you can enjoy the Lego room or the life-size replica of Mark Shuttleworth’s Soyuz space capsule.

Time: 9am–4:30pm, Monday–Saturday; 10am–4:30pm, Sunday. Venue: Cape Town Science Centre, Observatory. Cost: R38 per person. Contact: 021 300 3200 or visit mtnsciencentre.org.za

31 saturday Johnson’s Baby Sense Seminars Medical professionals discuss everything baby related. In addition to this, celebrity mom Zuraida Jardine hosts a panel discussion with the seminar speakers. Time: 8am.

Venue: The Westin Cape Town. Cost: R230 per session for seminar; R75 per session for workshop. Contact: 021 461 4669, bookings@go4word.co.za or visit babysense.co.za/seminars Oakdale Montessori fun day The fundraiser will have games, food stalls, art and crafts, a jumping castle and awesome prizes. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Westcliff school hall, Bellville. Cost: free entry.

Contact: oakdalemontessori@gmail.com

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science BrightStart craft classes The craft classes are for 4–5 year olds and the multimedium art classes are for 6–12 year olds.

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Ceramic painting at The Clay Pot Café

Ceramic painting at The Clay Pot Café Enjoy ceramic painting or get creative with potter’s clay. Time: 9am–5pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: Constantia. Cost: call to enquire. Contact: 079 562 5257 or svenskabryce@hotmail.com Free two-hour introductory fabric painting workshop For adults and children. Time: 8:45am–10:45am. Venue: Pinelands. Cost: R35 for kit. Contact Wendy: 021 531 8076, 082 391 4954 or wendyadriaan@telkomsa.net magazine cape town

Inaugural Junior Historian Workshop

24 sat

Join in on an outdoor amble to appreciate historical attractions and their architectural characteristics.

For 7–14 year olds. Parents should accompany children. Please take a cellphone and a camera. Time: 2pm–5pm. Venue: outside the main entrance to Muizenberg Railway Station. Cost: free.

Contact Alan: 079 391 2105 or awhaleofaheritageroute@gmail.com

Kids Klub post-Ramadaan Party This is an incentive and acknowledgement occasion in recognition of all the young boys and girls who fasted during the month of Ramadaan. Open to learners aged 6–12 years old. 17 August. Time: 3pm–5pm.

Venue: Aunty K’s Party Centre, Littlewoods, Ottery. Cost: R60, which includes a gift and certificate. Contact: 021 704 1462, 074 106 0713 or kidsklub1@polka.co.za Sue Nepgen’s children’s art classes The third term’s programme consists of a variety of creative 2D and 3D work in different mediums, including drawing and painting techniques. For 4–13 years old. Time: held in the afternoons and Saturday morning. Venue: Michael Oak Waldorf School, Kenilworth or 28 Klaasenbosch Dr, Constantia. Cost: R590 a term, including materials and firing. Prorata fees for late joiners. Contact Sue: 021 794 6609, 021 794 4723, 083 237 7242 or snepgen@xsinet.co.za

classes, talks and workshops Ballet classes for adults and children These are designed for all ages and levels as well those wanting to return to ballet either for performance or for skills training leading to teaching. Auditions are available for internship with Dance Crew, a contemporary classical ballet company. Starts 15 July. Time: varies, Monday–Saturday. Venue: Theatre-OnMain, 1 Church Rd, Tokai-on-Main. Cost: varies. Contact: 021 715 9510 or visit theatreomain.co.za Chocolate factory outing The outing at Rococoa consists of a story or an age-appropriate educational movie on chocolate, a walk through a cocoa plantation and 17th-century chocolateproduction kitchen. Each child receives a treat, decorates a teddy biscuit, moulds a chocolate or does a cocoa finger painting to take home. Time: arranged on booking.

Venue: 145 Sir Lowry Rd, Palms Centre.

Cost: R40. Contact Gabi: 021 461 2301 Constantia Tots n Pots fun cooking classes Children create their own snacks, sweet treats and meals. For 2–10 year olds, depending on the class. Time: 3pm, Wednesday and Thursday; 10am, Friday.

Venue: Stodels Café, 62 Doordrift Rd, Constantia. Cost: R720 per term (eight weeks) or R90 once-off when available.

Contact Chene: constantia@totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com Cooking with Hannah Sign up for fun-filled cooking classes ranging from healthy meals to yummy treats. For magazine cape town

2–10 year olds; the Friday class is for 2–3 year olds. Time: 2pm–3pm, Tuesday and Thursday; 3pm–4pm, Wednesday; 9:45am–10:45am, Friday. Venue: Bergvliet.

Cost: R760 per term (nine weeks) or R90 per class. Contact Hannah: 082 569 8666 or cookingwithhannah1@gmail.com SHIFT Open Group This is a weekly connect group for adolescents where they engage in charitable work while “checking in” with each other and the SHIFT group team. It is open to any boys and girls that want to give back while gaining weekly support. Please first make contact before attending the group. Time: 3:45pm–5pm, every Tuesday. Venue: 3 Prospect Hill Rd, Wynberg. Cost: R50 per group. Contact Penni: 079 968 7845, info@shiftgroups. co.za or visit shiftgroups.co.za

family outings Celebrate Life Festival The festival encompasses everything healthy, ecofriendly and sustainable, presented in a relaxed, fun atmosphere. Products, services, demonstrations, workshops, speakers and great food provide something for the whole family. 17 and 18 August. Time: 10am–5pm, daily. Venue: The River Club, Observatory. Cost: R65 per day or R110 per weekend, under 10s free, scholars and pensioners half-price. Contact Paul: 021 783 4965, kahunapromo@mweb.co.za or visit celebratelife.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Table Mountain Cableway Kidz Season special Two children under 18 years old ride free when an adult return ticket is purchased over weekends, public holidays and the September school holidays. Ends 31 October. Time: 8:30am. Venue: Tafelberg Rd. Cost: R205 per adult return ticket, which includes two children under 18. Valid on return fares only. Contact: 021 424 8181 or visit tablemountain.net Whale Spotter workshop for juniors The workshop looks at the anatomy and echolocation of whales, the diffrent species of whales, their feeding, migration, mating, calving and nursing habits, threats to their existence and their defences and where to spot whales. 3 and 17 August. Time: 7:45am–9:15am. Venue: Food Lover’s Market, Longbeach Mall, Fish Hoek. Cost: free. Contact Alan: 079 391 2105 or awhaleofaheritageroute@gmail.com

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Children’s integral yoga day Activities include Hatha Yoga, music, gardening and art and crafts. For 3–6 year olds and 7–12 year olds. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Ananda Kutir Ashrama, 24 Sprigg Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: donation welcome. Contact: trivenifredericks@ gmail.com or Mala: mala@live.co.za or visit anandakutir.org

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Antiques Market Find old treasure with products ranging from jewellery to crockery from every era. There is always something for the collector and browser.

4 August. Time: 9:30am–5pm. Venue: V&A Craft Market & Wellness Centre. Cost: free. Contact: 021 408 7840 or craftinfo@ waterfront.co.za Ottery Indoor Community Market The theme is Women’s Health and Beauty.

The local community offers bags, clothing, crafters, jewellery, novelties, food and a tea garden. 30 August. Time: 3pm–9pm.

Venue: OIS Centre, Old Strandfontein Rd, Ottery (Oracle High). Cost: free entry.

Contact: 021 704 1462, 074 106 0713 or stalls@polka.co.za

Pick-a-Toon Children get the chance to choose what they want to watch by voting weekly for their favourite show to be shown that weekend. Cartoon Network will screen a marathon of the most popular show every Saturday at 10am on Cartoon Network, DStv channel 301. To vote, visit cartoonnetworkafrica.com/pick Violetta The series is a telenovelle (soapie) focused on girls aged 6–14 years old and is dubbed from Spanish. It premieres on Disney Channel, DStv Channel 303 on 26 August at 4:10pm

while little ones are entertained in the bakery. Children choose from one of four projects: baking gingerbread men, baking chocolate-chip cookies, icing cupcakes or baking a pizza. Each project runs for about 15–20 minutes. Time: 9am–7pm, Tuesday– Saturday; 10am–7pm, Sunday. Venue: Café Paradiso, 110 Kloof St. Cost: R45. Contact: 021 423 8653

sport and physical activities Cricket School of Excellence Group coaching sessions are each Friday afternoon.

These are aimed at learning the basics of the game and to prepare cricketers for the upcoming cricket season. For 4–13 year olds. 19 July–13 September. Time: 3:30pm–5:30pm, every Friday. Venues:

playtime and story time Café Paradiso baking project Parents are invited to relax over breakfast or lunch

Kirstenhof Dance and Pilates Studio

UCT Indoor Sports Centre, Elkanah House (West Coast), Van der Stel Cricket Club (Stellenbosch). Cost: R500. Contact William: 0861 123 273, william@cricketschool.co.za or visit cricketschool.co.za Die Burger Mountain Bike Challenge The event, which is renowned for its challenging and picturesque routes, is held in association with the Simonsberg Conservancy. It boasts five scenic mountain bike routes to cater for all levels of riding.

For 7 years and older (children younger than 10 must be accompanied by an adult).

3 August. Time: 8:30am. Venue: Eikestad Primary School, Stellenbosch. Cost: varies.

Contact Dirtopia: 021 884 4752, info@ dirtopia.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za Headstart Swim School open day Prospective pupils and their parents can see the pool, meet some of the team and enjoy a 10-minute mini lesson. There will be someone there to chat to and answer any questions you may have, and you will be given information regarding how Headstart works. 25 August. Time and venue: 11am–2pm; 36 Franklin Rd, Claremont for group lessons for advanced pupils learning their strokes and at 2:30pm–5:30pm at 104 Queen Victoria Rd, Claremont for individual lessons for beginners of all ages. To prebook, contact Rochelle: 021 674 7681 or headstartswim@gmail.com Kids on Cloud 9 sports activities Boys and girls 4–13 years old can enjoy soccer, cricket, rugby, dancing and more. Also enquire

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about weekend getaways and educational tours every Saturday and Sunday for children 4–13 years old. Time: varies, Monday–Friday.

Venue: call to enquire. Cost: call to enquire.

Contact: coachgrant@kidsoncloud9.co.za or visit kidsoncloud9.co.za Kirstenhof Dance and Pilates Studio Whether you are a pre-schooler or a pensioner there is no better way to get into shape than through ballet, modern, hip-hop dancing and Pilates classes. This studio offers these classes daily. Venue: 14 Windhover St, Kirstenhof. Cost: varies for group or private sessions. Contact Liane: 021 701 2750, 082 739 0100 or lianepenny@gmail.com

Teddy Tennis at The Glen Country Club

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Women’s Day cupcake class 3 August. Time: 9:30am–2pm. Cost: R550 and take a friend free of charge.

All materials included. Take home six decorated cupcakes. On 8 August learn how to make a full sugar rose using the Jem Easy Rose Cutter. Time: 7pm–10:30pm. Cost: free; booking is essential. Venue: Constantia. Contact Bianca: classes@cupcakesbydesign.co.za

Stellenbosch farm run This inaugural off-road running event is held the day after Die Burger MTB Challenge and takes place from the same venue. Distances include a 15km run and a 8km run. The shorter distance is designed to encourage families and beginners to participate. 4 August.

Time: 8am. Venue: Eikestad Primary School, Stellenbosch. Cost: R65–R110. Contact: 021 884 4752, theteam@dirtopia.co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za Teddy Tennis at The Glen Country Club Tennis for children aged 2–8 years old accompanied by music, pictures and stories, making this an interactive learning adventure. Time: varies, Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoon. Venue: The Glen Country Club, Clifton. Cost: call to enquire. For more info, contact: 083 679 0731, mark@teddytennis.com or visit teddytennis.com

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Bergvliet Mommy’s Club This group is suitable for all moms with babies or toddlers.

Tea is provided. Time: 10am–12pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Bergvliet Methodist Church. Cost: free. Contact: 021 715 3045, bergvlietmommysclub@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page: BMC: Bergvliet Mommy’s Club Family and Friends CPR The course is aimed at family members, relatives and the general public. It is ideal for laypersons with no prior medical knowledge who want to learn life-saving rescue skills for their loved ones. 3 August. Time: 9am–12:30pm.

Venue: Constantiaberg Mediclinic, Plumstead. Cost: R250. Contact: 021 705 6459 or visit pec.co.za

Making Maths Fun! A workshop for teachers, parents, au pairs and nannies.

Use what you have at home to encourage a love of numbers in 5–8 year olds. 15 August. Time: 10am–11:30am, 3pm–4:30pm or 7:30pm–9pm. Venue: 11 Middleton Rd, Claremont. Cost: R100 payable at the door.

Contact: 082 714 4356, rlighton@mweb. co.za or visit reneelighton.co.za Montessori teacher training info morning 24 August. Time: 10:30am.

Venue: Auburn House School, Kenilworth.

Cost: free. Contact: 021 797 7872 or capetown@montessorisa.co.za Reading and writing workshop Is your child battling with learning to read and write? Perhaps he just needs a different way of learning? Are you a remedial teacher looking for alternative ways to teach? Are you a Montessori directress wanting new ways to teach language? Join them to look at different ways to teach reading. 24 August. Time: 9:30am–11:30am. Venue: suite 101, 28 Main Rd, Mowbray. Cost: R50. Contact Claire: 021 685 8119, elfsecretary@gmail. com or visit elfmontessori.com Women’s Wellness Wake-up workshop with 3 Tons of Fun Join Cape Town’s allfemale, soul singing trio who were plucked off the stage by UCT’s specialist scientist, and challenged to an eight-week lifestyle makeover. 5 August. Time 6pm. Venue: SSISA, Newlands. Cost: R75. Contact: 021 659 5600 or visit ssisa.com

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calendar and education or for a casual playdate for the children of LGBTI parents. Time: 7pm–8:30pm for the parents’ session and 2:30pm–4:30pm for the children’s casual playdates. Venue: Elta House, 2nd floor, 3 Caledonian Rd, Mowbray and Millstone Ecovillage, Pinelands. Cost: free. Contact: 021 686 1475 or visit their Facebook page Proud 2B–LGBTI Parents

Sisanda FunDaytion This volunteer-based, nonprofit organisation makes a difference in the lives of disadvantaged children by organising fun days and other recreational activities for them. Visit their website, check their wish list, and see how you can register as a volunteer or sign up for a fun day. Contact: 021 762 1973, info@sisanda.org.za or visit sisanda.org.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops 14 August–8 September – Tin Bucket Drum

on stage and screen Durbanville Hills benefit concert This evening is in aid of the Môresterretjie crèche, established for children of farm workers in the area. Proceeds from the evening’s ticket sales will assist in funding the crèche where trained teachers take care of the wellbeing and early learning development of children aged 3–5 years old. 15 August. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Willowbridge Theatre. Cost: R135, which includes a glass of wine. Contact: 021 558 1300 or jadam@durbanvillehills.co.za Tin Bucket Drum Multi-award winning South African playwright Neil Coppen’s Tin Bucket Drum follows the story of Nomvula, a spirited child with a revolutionary heart born into a country with a cruel, silent dictatorship. 14 August–8 September.

Time: 8pm, Wednesday–Sunday. Venue: Kalk Bay Theatre. Cost: R100. For more info: visit kbt.co.za

out and about St Mary’s Primary School 150th anniversary and reunion This occasion is for past pupils, parents and teachers. Snacks and wine is served. Bid on goodies at the silent auction. RSVP by 31 July. 24 August.

Time: 5pm. Venue: St Mary’s School Hall.

Cost: R20 donation towards the school.

Contact: johnston.gretchen@gmail.com Women’s Day dim sum and wine Dishes are paired with Spier’s variety of Chenin Blanc wines. Grape juice is available.

Women only. 8 August. Time: 7pm. Venue: Spier Hotel Conservatory. Cost: R250 for a five-course dim sum menu, paired with three glasses of wine. Contact: 021 809 1100 or reservations@spier.co.za

support groups Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Intersex (LGBTI) Parents Support Group Parents meet for a discussion around issues like nutrition, discrimination

BabyCalm Sleep Workshop If you are struggling with your baby’s sleep and your own sleep deprivation, this workshop empowers you with gentle tools and techniques based on sound scientific evidence. For pregnant parents and parents of newborns up to 12 months. 28 August.

Time: 6:30pm–9:30pm. Venue: Camps Bay. Cost: R550 per family. Contact Lauren: 079 450 6779 or lauren@babycalming.com Beautifully Born HypnoBirthing antenatal course For women from 20 weeks pregnant. Venue: Durbanville. Starts 27 August. Time: 7pm–9:30pm, every Tuesday. Contact Kim: 073 085 6645.

Venue: Fish Hoek. Starts 28 July. Time: 3pm–5:30pm. Contact Charlene: 082 223 0549, charlene@beautifullyborn.co.za.

Venue: Cape Town City Bowl/Observatory.

Starts 3 August. Time: 9am–11:30am.

Contact Charlene: 082 223 0549 or charlene@beautifullyborn.co.za. Cost: R1 650 per couple. For more info: visit beautifullyborn.co.za Motherhood Matters baby massage classes A four-week baby massage course where moms learn to communicate with their babies through loving touch. Ideal for moms with babies 4 weeks–6 months old.

Starts 21 August. Time: 10am–11:30am, every Wednesday. Venue: Kirstenhof. Cost: R500. Contact: 071 875 2668 or visit motherhoodmatters.co.za NINO: Grow Your Baby’s Brain parent day Dr Nils and Jill Bergman cover the latest neuroscience of how the baby’s brain grows during pregnancy and how important the birth and the first hours of life are for the baby’s physical health and emotional attachment to parents. Babies welcome.

3 August. Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: Vincent Pallotti Conference Room. Cost: R150 per person; R250 per couple. Contact Jill: 021 531 5819 or visit ninobirth.org Parent Centre Moms circle group These groups are suitable for moms with babies up to 1 year old. Mediclinic Cape Town, Hof St. Time: 10:30am–12:30pm, every Tuesday. Mediclinic Constantiaberg.

Time: 10am–12pm, every Thursday. Cost: R50, which includes refreshments. Contact: 021 762 0116, reception@theparentcentre. org.za or visit the Facebook pages: Tuesday Moms Group (Parent Centre) and Thursday Moms Group (Parent Centre). Also visit theparentcentre.org.za for regular updates.

Second Time Around parenting classes For parents expecting baby number two with paediatric sister Alex Turner and psychologist Robyn Smith. 20 August. Time: 6:30pm–9pm. Venue: Kids Clinic, Camps Bay. Cost: R475 per couple. Contact: 021 438 0020 or info@kidsclinic.co.za

playtime and story time Babies Read Books puppet show and storytelling For babies and toddlers every Tuesday. Professional storyteller Sharon Geffen is in attendance every second Tuesday. Time: 9:30am. Venue: Kloof St Library, 122B Kloof St. Cost: call to enquire.

Contact: 021 424 3308

support groups La Leche League’s breast-feeding support group Kenridge: 5 August.

Contact Marna: 021 975 9264. Durbanville: 20 August. Contact Trudy: 021 913 2816 or Tiffany: 021 913 3586. Parklands: 10 August. Contact Kim: 082 330 5352. Parow: 14 August. Contact Dilshaad: 021 930 2475.

MilnertonMedi-Clinic: 19 August (9:30am).

Contact Juliet: 021 556 0693. Parklands Intercare: 28 August. Contact Simela: 021 553 1664. Paarl: 6 August. Contact Jonette: 021 872 5297. Rondebosch: 13 August.

Contact Simela: 021 553 1664. Fish Hoek: 6 August. Contact Simela: 021 553 1664.

Stellenbosch: 13 August. Contact Olga: 082 062 0206 or Francia: 082 940 9685.

Malmesbury. Contact Selma: 083 265 5458 (telephonic help). Napier. Contact Emma: 082 696 3584 (telephonic help). Meetings start at 10am, unless otherwise stated.

Cost: free. For more info: visit llli.org or visit their Facebook page: La Leche League South Africa

how to help Cape Missions They reach out to children at Cape Flats schools through a heroes educational programme. They need 100 “love” shoe boxes to hand out to children by mid-November. The age group varies from 6–14 years old. You can add anything to the box that you think this age group might need. You can get involved as a school, family or group of friends and choose whether you want to make the box for a girl or boy. Contact: 073 950 5880, 072 930 6638 or wt.deklerk@gmail.com Fundraising Breakfast in celebration of Women’s Day Cape Town Child Welfare is South Africa’s oldest and secondlargest child welfare organisation. They have helped over a million children emerge from crisis situations ranging from poverty, homelessness and abandonment, to severe neglect, physical and sexual abuse. To raise funds for their three on-going projects you can join their panel of prominent men and women at a breakfast. The theme this year is “Celebrate Women and Inspire Our Future”. 9 August; RSVP by 26 July. Time: 7am for 7:30am–9:30am. Venue: Lagoon Beach Hotel, Marine Dr, Lagoon Beach.

Cost: R500 per person; R4 250 per table of 10. Contact: 021 638 3127 or siro@ helpkids.co.za Red Balloon Revolution Many children in South Africa never experience the joy of celebrating their birthday. They give underprivileged children this opportunity and help them develop their unique talents. Either buy Red Balloon items or be involved in developing them. They are continuously looking for collaboration with suppliers to develop new products. The current range includes baby-gros, T-shirts, hangers, chalk boards and accessories such as shopping bags and iPad bags. For more information on the programme and products of the Red Balloon Revolution visit: redballoonrevolution.com

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to capetown@childmag.co.za or fax it to 021 462 2680. Information must be received by 2 August for the September issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za 8 August – Women’s Day dim sum and wine

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it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

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it’s party time

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finishing touch

it’s time-out AnÉl Lewis had plenty of time to think about her behaviour in the punishment corner, and now agrees that children learn by

e

Erin, Anél and Conor

rin is at that wonderful age where she understands the difference between right and wrong, but still blithely ignores it to do her own thing. To avoid complete anarchy, we have had to quickly firm up our approach to discipline.

First off, we decided that as the parents, we must show a united front. This sounds simple enough, but trust me, the lines of responsibility can get a bit murky.

You see, I think its perfectly fine to let Erin “bake” with a bag of flour and a cup

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of water, just so that I can have 15 minutes of quiet time to boil some pasta for supper.

But Craig struggles to see the value in this, and the puddle of gloop that is usually left on the floor after her baking session, means we both get shouted at for making a mess in the kitchen.

Conor’s new obsession is switching on lights. Unfortunately, switching them off again doesn’t have the same appeal.

This means that Craig will come home to find the house lit up like the Palace of Versailles during Bastille celebrations.

This is not quite in line with Eskom’s energy-saving message, but as Conor is too young to really know right from wrong, or his “on” from his “off”, it’s the adults that look after him during the day, who get the blame.

But with Erin we can mete out some form of punishment if she misbehaves,

so we have also had to decide on how to discipline her. I used to think that I could reason with her. But you try explaining to a bleary-eyed two year old, at 7am on a Monday morning, why she cannot wear her Spider-Man slippers to school.

During one particularly trying engagement about acceptable school attire, I lost my temper and stormed out of her room leaving her in just her vest and with only one leg of her trousers on.

I carried on with my morning business and after a few minutes, she came to me and said, “Sorry, Mommy, let’s try these socks instead?” My heart broke, but I was pleased that she had apologised and accepted that she had pushed me too far.

But the funny and rather unfortunate thing about teaching children discipline, is that they don’t have double standards. If you break the rules, you must be chastised

too, as I found out recently when I threw something onto the table.

I can’t even remember why I was irritated, but my fit of pique did not escape Erin’s beady eyes.

“Mommy,” she said sternly, “don’t you do that. You must go to time-out.”

And there was our third lesson about discipline – children learn by observing what you do, not by what you say. So I had no choice but to go and sit in “time-out” in her bedroom as punishment.

At least I didn’t have to suffer in darkness – Conor had been there before me and all the lights were on.

Anél Lewis is the mother of two active toddlers. She’s working on her anger management, and stockpiling glossy magazines under Erin’s bed, just in case she has to serve more time in her daughter’s bedroom for poor behaviour.

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PHOTOGRAPH: STEPHANIE VELDMAN

watching what we do, and not what we say.