Child magazine | CPT July 2015

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

comfort food for your brood banish boredom

games for indoor and outdoor fun

dressing dilemmas

fussy, fickle and fashion conscious

the

bumper holiday take your family on a road trip

www.childmag.co.za

July 2015

free

issue

the positive side of single parenting creating the ideal baby sleep environment is parenting killing your marriage? exploring the emotional life of boys

health

education

entertainment

Hunter House PUB L IS H ING

Publisher

this month we are taking you all on holiday

Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za

We have filled our pages with

inspiration, banishing boredom with

indoor and outdoor

for your children to play on their own, with

games

friends or the whole family (page 14). We’ve abandoned routine and headed

Resource Editor Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za

out of town for an historical road trip with

educational detours (page

Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

26). If Ralph Waldo Emerson is to be trusted, it is a “happy talent to know

Art

wonderful ways to fill your days. And because the real joy of cooking

how to play”, so we’ve packed our What’s On in July section (page 28) with

Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za Louise Topping • studio@childmag.co.za

is in the preparing and sharing of delicious “food for your brood” (page 18), we’ve made life a little easier with recipes for simple snacks and suppers, which you can trust to turn out winning

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

winter warmers. On the

nights Eskom turns out the lights, find a book in our bookcase (page 39),

Client Relations

crank up the LEDs and let the

Renee Bruning • ctsales@childmag.co.za

simple pleasure of a good story

entertain your family for a quiet night in…

Subscriptions and Circulation Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: BROOKE FASANI

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

Child magazine Online

childmag.co.za Online Content Manager Marc de Chazal • online@childmag.co.za

Lisa Mc Namara, Publisher

Cape Town’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios, 35 Wesley Street, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 021 465 6093, fax: 021 462 2680, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Cape Town’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions

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July 2015

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contents july 2015

22 3 a note from lisa

health

6 over to you readers respond

10 realignment Marc de Chazal finds

features

out if chiropractic can treat common childhood ailments

regulars

14 challenge accepted Tamlyn Vincent gives you ideas for indoor and outdoor educational, home-made games

16 boys don’t cry we should nurture healthy emotions in boys, says Jocelyn Warrington

18 comforting crowd-pleasers mouth-watering dishes to share with family and friends from Sam Gates’ new book, Food for your Brood

20 flying solo why being a single mom works for Jocelyn Warrington and her daughter

8 pregnancy news – second baby blues Catherine Goldfain shares her experience of when she was expecting baby number two

9 best for baby – tula tu, tula baba how to create the ideal sleep environment for your baby.

By Marina Zietsman

12 dealing with difference – when words get stuck childhood apraxia can seriously affect a child’s development, writes Glynis Horning

26 resource – discover arniston in the overberg take the family on a road trip to this historical town.

Compiled by Lucille Kemp

28 what’s on in july 22 dressing without drama Anél Lewis gives tips for when getting dressed in the morning turns the bedroom into a battlefield

24 is parenting ruining marriage? raising children can strain your relationship with your partner.

Samantha Page investigates

38 finishing touch when art projects loom, Anél Lewis wants to run a mile

39 a good read for the whole family

classified ads 35 family marketplace 36 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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July 2015

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

EARTHCHILD Clothing earthchild.co.za

EARTHCHILD Clothing earthchild.co.za

shutterstock.com

Cotton On Kids cottonon.co.za

magazine cape town

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July 2015

5

letters

free from facebook The May issue of Child magazine is a particularly good one, fully covering so many vital issues – and I have only read as far as page 23. I’d just read the excellent and relevant “leaving facebook” when my landline rang – why had I not responded to an earlier sms yet? It was 7:15am, before I’d switched on the phone, giving night-time respite from the constant pings and rings – often advertisements. We have allowed the expectation to develop, and become firmly entrenched, that our cellphones (possession of which I am beginning to think must be law) must be in hand and on hand and instantly responded to 24/7.

Recently at a children’s theatre performance the lights went out due to load shedding. The actors valiantly carried on, using emergency lights on stage. Against the complete darkness in the audience, one could see little lights everywhere as the moms were busily tapping on their phones. I was appalled at this display of rudeness towards the performers. What example are these parents setting for children? If something doesn’t really interest you, just ignore it, get out your phone and amuse yourself?

We want our children to be attentive and good mannered. We fear they will be demanding, “spoilt brats”, yet demonstrate that an immediate response is one’s absolute right. They see us being constantly

inattentive, with all our focus on phones. Monkey see, monkey do, moms!

Anonymous

it’s not that bad In response to the article “constantly queasy” (May 2015), I want to offer sympathy to all moms who have suffered, or are suffering, from nausea and vomiting in pregnancy (NVP). NVP sounds terrible, and anyone reading this article must be terrified to fall pregnant. I am 34 years old and I’m a mother of two children. My son is now eight years old and my daughter three. I am on severe medication for anxiety and bipolar disorder. I also had a hiatus hernia repaired when I was 20 years old. I suffer badly with irritable bowl syndrome, which in turn causes reflux and indigestion. I suffered from many of the factors in this article. I also had cravings, from cheeseburgers to pies. But here’s the catch – I was fine. So please, moms-to-be, don’t be anxious. It will be all right.

Anonymous

a place to nest Early on in your pregnancy your doctor will make a booking for you at a hospital, nursing home or birthing centre. You may be asked what your preferences are,

over to you importance of breast-feeding I read your article “feeding on demand” (May 2015), and I was quite disappointed to see that breast-feeding on demand was not highlighted separately from other forms of infant feeding. Breast-feeding on demand is necessary for the healthy development of babies, both emotionally and physically. Many women find breast-feeding difficult in South Africa due to various factors. This kind of article just adds to the confusion.

I am concerned about your source-pool for information being so small. Please consider speaking to La Leche League concerning breast-feeding. They are a worldwide organisation that provides scientifically-backed and medically-approved breast-feeding information to the World Health Organisation. They also offer the experience of mothers gathered from over half a century.

Cecilia Teixeira

overcoming dyslexia I have a 15-year-old daughter who has ADD and have been on the same roller-coaster ride as the letter writer’s child in “overcoming dyslexia” (May 2015). When she was in Grade 3, I applied for her to go to a government remedial school, as this was all I could afford as a widow.

In Grade 6 I moved her to a small private school, as the other remedial school had no space. She was unhappy, but decided to give it a try. After a year, I took her back to the primary school where she previously was and she

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July 2015

but doctors usually recommend the hospital most convenient for them, or to which they have some form of affiliation. You should, however, be ready with your questions before you allow the booking to be made.

Of course, many towns in South Africa have only one maternity home or hospital. If you have a choice, ask questions, and if they are answered satisfactorily and your needs are met, then this is the place to have your baby.

Cannon Nolutshyngu

thanks A heartfelt thank-you from our staff, learners and parents for this very informative magazine that gets delivered to our school each month. Our educators find it extremely helpful when looking for suitable school outings for their learners, and your articles are very informative.

S. Modan, Star College The latest copy of Child magazine has just landed on my desk. Thanks very much for the article on blood donation. What a well-written article. I’m sure we’ll get more people visiting our donor centres and phoning us to find out where they can go and donate blood.

Sifiso Khoza, Regional Marketing Manager (SANBS)

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

returned to her happy self. In Grade 8, she was finally accepted to the government remedial school after years of begging and pleading. The problem was, she had already spent a term in her new high school and just loved it. She had made some lovely new friends too, which is a problem ADD children struggle with. When she was accepted to the remedial school, I thought my prayers had been answered; however, this was when the nightmare began. My daughter was so miserable. She made no friends and hated school and as a result, life.

Things at home were extremely tense, so I went back to the previous high school, and told them what we were experiencing. The principal was so accommodating and emphasised how important it is to have an emotionally stable and happy child and that she was welcome back.

She has been back for just over a year and is in such a good space. She even won the prize for commitment and determination at prize-giving. The funny thing is her marks weren’t much better at the remedial school. She is given extra time for her exams and so far she has passed every year. I am extremely grateful to the school and the principal for giving her another chance to be happy.

Vanessa Viljoen

online comments in response to “mother’s guilt syndrome” Oh, how I relate to this article... I just want to be there for my children. I’m thinking of all these plans to just

make more time for them. And I spoil them so much when I’m with them... trying to make up for the times I’m working. But I guess, in our own way, we are the best mothers we can be.

Nicole Erasmus in response to “dads and daughters” I love this topic and I fully agree that dads are so important in their children’s lives. Being a mother of two girls, I see every day how they miss their father, who has chosen to be absent since we ended our relationship six months ago. I have tried so many times to make him be part of the girls’ lives, but he comes up with excuses all the time. It pains me that he is behaving this way and my girls are suffering in the process. I don’t know what else to do...

Anonymous

on twitter This is really an awesome magazine for all parents – full of children’s events and fun family moments. Love it.

Bontle Motingoe subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions.

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The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

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magazine cape town

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July 2015

7

pregnancy news

second baby

blues Being pregnant with baby number two can actually be more of a roller coaster than the first time round, discovers CATHERINE GOLDFAIN.

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July 2015

Apart from battling terrible nausea and heartburn (which I never experienced first time round), the full-time effort of entertaining an active toddler while squeezing in some freelance work was enough to finish me off. As for naps – there was no chance!

Support was tough to find. My husband thought “she knows the drill” and I felt very alone. We’d just started feeling like a family unit – and I mourned the potential loss of that closeness. The financial implications of a second child also weighed heavily on us both.

On the flip side, there was great comfort in knowing what to expect. The labour and birth went off without a hitch, mainly because I’d been there before. And Damien (5) and Alabama (3) are now best of friends.

Despite some initial jealousy issues from big brother, our family is closer than ever – and there is more than enough love and attention to go around. As for the money?

Not so much! Your second pregnancy can feel like a roller coaster sometimes, but be warned: it’s after the birth that the real circus comes to town.

second pregnancy tips • Spend time with your first born, because things will never be the same again.

• Join online forums to get support from other moms and share experiences.

• Buy a gift for the older sibling, which baby can “give” to them in hospital.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

e

verything about my first pregnancy was perfect: from the romance surrounding our “shotgun” wedding, through to long lunches with my husband, en route back from each check-up. I dedicated hours to preparing our baby’s room, ooh-ed and aah-ed over bonnets and booties – and lazed by the poolside like a beached whale. In my (abundant) spare time, I trawled websites to unveil the mysteries of childbirth.

Fast-track to round two and you’d see me and my belly heaving a full trolley (complete with wailing toddler) around the supermarket. Ravenous, I’d scavenge for halfeaten, gob-sodden rice cakes, stuffed into my overfilled handbag-slash-nappy-bag. I prayed my bladder would hold out beyond the till.

My method of avoiding meltdowns was to placate my son with a banana at the start of our “journey”, the remnants of which were smeared all over the trolley by the end of it. With toddler and trolley in tow, I was then free to go and throw up in the public toilets.

A second pregnancy is not for sissies. And the smaller the age gap, the bigger the reality check. In my case, the 21-month gap meant there was no “preparing” my first born for the reality of a sibling. He was simply too young to understand. Try explaining to a barely babbling 18-monthold why dive-bombing Mom’s belly is a no-no.

I puzzled over how I was going to split my attention once the new baby came along. Would my first born ever accept another member of the family? I dreaded that initial separation during the birth – and wondered how he’d survive the “abandonment”. I felt like a traitor, with him blissfully unaware of how his life was about to change.

best for baby

t

he principle of sleep for newborns is sleep safety, and for babies from one year old it’s sleep comfort. Here are some tips to ensure a good night’s sleep for all.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

snuggle up Meg Faure, co-author of Sleep Sense and Baby Sense (Metz Press), says bedding for a newborn up to the age of one year old should ideally only consist of a sleeping bag (winter and summer).

“Pillows, blankets and cot bumpers are all hazards for suffocation,” says Faure.

But you can have a very small comforting blanket or cloth in the cot. Children get pillows when they move into their own big bed (from the age of three) and this includes toys and comfort blankets. Faure adds that babies under one year old need a firm mattress. “And always buy a new mattress – don’t pass mattresses on to the next generation.” You should also use 100% cotton for bedding and sleepwear as it controls temperature better than other materials. Faure reminds us that newborns are used to the smell of their moms. For comfort you can put your T-shirt or another piece of clothing close to the cot.

lights out Bright lights are a signal for the body to wake up, while dim lights signal that we should

magazine cape town

tula tu, tula baba Many things can affect a baby’s quality of sleep, including environmental factors.

MARINA ZIETSMAN finds out how to create the ideal sleep setting for your baby.

hot and cold Researchers still struggle to come up with the exact temperature that people sleep best in, but it is true that when you sleep, your body temperature cools down, and if the room is too hot, your body has to work harder to cool down, which may result in you struggling to sleep. Infants should not be overheated as it increases the risk of Sids. “Whatever you do, try and keep temperature between 18°C and 22°C,” advises Faure. “In South Africa, it’s not always easy, so if it’s too hot, let your baby sleep in a vest.”

no peep

sleep. The moment the body realises it’s time to sleep, it starts producing melatonin, a calming hormone. If there is too much light, little or no melatonin is produced.

Even televisions, laptops, smartphones, and tablets can inhibit the production of melatonin. Faure suggests that a baby should sleep in complete darkness. “Night

lights should only be used for babies from the age of 18 months. This is when children develop their imagination and nightmares come into the equation,” she says. If you have to use a light during the night for feeding or a nappy change, keep the light as dim as possible, or switch on a light in another room, for some visibility.

Your baby is used to the noise he heard in your womb, so complete silence is actually abnormal. In her best-selling book Your Baby and Child (Dorling Kindersley Limited), Penelope Leach writes: “A sleeping baby need not mean a hushed household. If everybody creeps about and talks in whispers while he is asleep, there may come a time when he cannot sleep unless they do. It is therefore important to let him sleep through whatever sound level is normal for your household.” Faure suggests a lullaby before bedtime to create a pre-sleep signal, and to create white noise at night. You can buy an app that creates this or turn the radio to soft static.

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health

realignment Can children with colic, reflux and other common childhood ailments benefit from chiropractic treatment?

MARC DE CHAZAL investigates.

c

hances are good that either you or your child will visit a chiropractor at some time, usually for complaints such as back and neck pain or headaches.

Chiropractic treatment in selected musculoskeletal conditions has proven effective for many patients, but can it make a difference as a complementary therapy if your child has stable asthma, colic or other nonmusculoskeletal illnesses?

Common childhood ailments such as these are treated by chiropractors on a regular basis. Renee Bruning recalls taking Ben, now nine years old, to a chiropractor when he was only 10 days old. “He had colic and reflux, and as a first-time mom, I was beside myself,” says Renee. “My husband, Paul, and I really believed in chiropractic and a family friend from the US told us that chiropractors can help to relieve these conditions, so off I went to one in Joburg who only treats children. She calmly talked me through it and showed me the exact pressure she would use on Ben on my own body. It’s incredibly gentle, and I held him the entire time.”

The reflux stopped almost immediately and Renee recalls that Ben slept very well after each half-hour consultation. They had five in total over a month period and Ben’s colic eventually subsided. Renee admits that it’s difficult to say if he would have recovered from the colic during the same period or not, but she did notice a difference in her child after each treatment.

Forbes believes that conditions such as colic, allergies, asthma and recurrent chest and ear infections respond well to chiropractic therapy. “A chiropractic adjustment of the upper cervical spine (neck) helps to drain the fluid build-up in the Eustachian tube, which prevents and treats recurrent ear infections,” claims Forbes.

According to the medical journal Paediatrics & Child Health, several reports have been published on major neurological complications in adults resulting from cervical manipulations, but reports of paediatric complications are few. The journal does state the following: “Of greater concern is the possibility that chiropractors may attempt to treat acute paediatric conditions, leading to a delay in appropriate medical therapy.”

Affirming Renee’s experience with Ben over nine years ago, Forbes assures us that paediatric chiropractic is safe, effective and gentle. “The amount of pressure used to adjust a child is the same as you would use to check if a tomato is ripe,” says Forbes.

“In some cases, we use less pressure than a parent does when they lift their child.”

Paediatrics & Child Health advises medical doctors to inquire whether neck manipulations or forceful thrusts have been used on children by chiropractors, and if herbal or homeopathic preparations have been given, but Forbes says we have a greater chance of being struck by lightning than suffering a complication from spinal manipulation. Still, it’s clear that physicians question whether chiropractic is effective in treating the variety of conditions for which it is used, especially for the paediatric age group. If anecdotal evidence is good enough for you as a parent, then it may be worth looking into for your child.

The purpose of chiropractic is to restore and

maintain normal functioning of the nervous

system to enable the body and organs to heal themselves without any drugs or surgery.

Chiropractic was first established as a discipline in 1895, when DD Palmer, an American magnetic healer, believed that diseases are often caused by subluxations (partial dislocations) of the vertebrae, which in turn impact the nervous system. When it comes to children, chiropractors believe that the birth process often results in spinal trauma, which they claim can lead to conditions such as colic. After medicine and dentistry, chiropractic is the third-most used primary health care profession in the world, and therefore the most widely used form of alternative or complementary medicine. In South Africa, chiropractors are expected to have an MTech degree in chiropractic, a five-year course offered by Durban University of Technology and the University of Johannesburg. The Allied Health Professions Council of South Africa requires chiropractors to also complete an internship before they are registered to practice as a doctor of chiropractic.

Dr Lauren Forbes, a chiropractor practising in Pretoria, says that many medical doctors and paediatric nurses refer babies and older children to her practice. “Parents usually bring children to me for spinal check assessments after birth and also for infantile colic, reflux and torticollis (abnormal asymmetrical neck spasm),” says Forbes.

“Misalignments in the spine can occur inter-uterine, during child birth or later from tumbles and falls as babies develop, which can irritate the nervous system if left untreated. The purpose of chiropractic is to restore and maintain normal functioning of the nervous system to enable the body and organs to heal themselves without any drugs or surgery.”

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July 2015

stay informed There does seem to be agreement across the board, however, that detecting and treating spinal dysfunction as early as possible can prevent it from becoming a chronic condition later on. And this is where chiropractors have played a substantive role.

Forbes is of the opinion that chiropractic also plays a vital role in preventative health care. “During the first year, a child’s spine grows almost 50%,” explains Forbes.

“It’s also during this time that the secondary curvature of the neck and lower back develop. Spinal growth and development continues until the mid-twenties, during which time there is great potential for spinal trauma or functional abnormalities like muscle imbalances and scoliosis, which can be managed and treated effectively if detected early.”

Chiropractic is widely used, so you’re certainly not delving into unchartered waters if you decide that your child may benefit from chiropractic treatment for nonmusculoskeletal conditions. But an open and honest discussion with your family doctor before considering any alternative health care route seems like a good idea. After all, parents have a heavy burden to bear when it comes to the health of their children. It’s always best to make informed choices. magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

restoring balance

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July 2015

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dealing with difference

when words get stuck Childhood apraxia of speech is a little-understood condition that can seriously affect a child’s ability to communicate and develop. Learn to spot it and start therapy early. By GLYNIS HORNING defining the problem

There’s currently no convincing research showing that medications, vitamins or other supplements improve speech in children who have CAS. That paediatrician ruled out what Deidre learnt later is a common early misdiagnosis for her son’s condition, and advised speech therapy. But her son would not allow the therapist to touch his face to help him form sounds (“another clue,” she sighs), and referred him to a psychologist, who finally diagnosed the problem: childhood apraxia of speech (CAS). Like most parents, Deirdre had never heard of CAS. But in the three years since, it has become an intimate part of her life, as she’s wrestled with this perplexing, under-researched condition – and started raising awareness and lobbying government for educational support.

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sound solutions CAS is a chronic condition requiring early and intensive intervention. There’s currently no convincing research showing that medications, vitamins or other supplements improve speech in children who have it, says De Vos. Treatment focuses on speech therapy, usually combined with occupational therapy. Exercises often include teaching the child how to produce individual sounds and speech of gradually increasing complexity, working with rhymes and melodies, and using multisensory approaches, such as the therapist touching the child’s face and teaching the child to watch and imitate oral movements, says Shaw-Ridley.

“It’s always advisable to have a team of health practitioners working with your child,” says Dr Athena Pedro, a research psychologist lecturing at the University of the Western Cape, who has a six-year-old son with apraxia.

common symptoms of CAS • • • • • •

ifficulty putting sounds, syllables or words together in the right order D Difficulty saying long and complex words Repeatedly attempting to pronounce words Visibly struggling to form words (groping movements with lips and tongue) Saying a word or sound correctly one moment but not the next Using wrong stresses or inflections (“BUH-na-nuh” for “buh-NA-nuh”) or giving equal stress to all syllables (“BUH-NA-NUH”) • Separating syllables (“buh…na…nuh”) • Distorting vowel sounds • Omitting consonants at the start and end of syllables and in consonant blends (“gr”, “st”) • Increased sound errors as the length of utterances increases • Comprehension is much stronger than verbal expression • Difficulty imitating the speech of others Diagnosis is made on the pattern of sound errors and symptoms including a number of the above, says Gill ShawRidley. “There are a few formal tests available, such as the Kaufman Speech Praxis Test for Children, which may aid diagnosis.”

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

a

t two and a half, Evan Warner was a happy, healthy toddler. That he could say only a few words “and not very well” did not alarm his mother, Cape Town management accountant Deidre Warner. “His older sister was chattering away by that age, but we’re told children are individuals and boys start talking later.”

A bout of bronchitis changed her world. It was Sunday, and a paediatrician at her local hospital sorted out Evan’s chest infection then casually remarked: “Your son can’t talk. Has anyone told you he’s autistic?”

“I nearly fell off my chair!” Deidre says. “I cried for a week until I could get to see another paediatrician.”

Evan’s roundabout route to diagnosis is typical for CAS children, and the cost can be high – not just in frustration and worry for parents, but in the delay it brings in beginning therapy, says Joburg neurodevelopmental paediatrician Dr Gillian de Vos. Apraxia or dyspraxia (milder apraxia) is still a poorly understood neurological disorder – sufferers find it difficult or impossible to make certain movements, although their muscles are normal. With apraxia of speech, they struggle to move their lips, tongue and jaw muscles to form words.

The problem is in the brain, which is unable to plan and tell these muscles how to move to produce the necessary sounds, explains De Vos. The diagnosis of CAS is compounded when, as is often the case, a child has additional related problems. Deidre, for example, learnt that Evan also has hypersensitivity – the reason he flinched from the speech therapist’s touch.

The cause of CAS is rarely clear, and can be associated with a range of brain or neurological conditions, brain injury, or a genetic disorder, syndrome or metabolic condition, De Vos says. “It is more common, for instance, in children with autism.”

Like many speech and language disorders, signs of CAS include little or no babbling from seven to 12 months, late first words (after 12 to 18 months), limited use of consonants and vowels, frequent omission of sounds, difficulty with certain classes of sounds, and difficulty

understanding the child’s speech, says Joburg speechlanguage therapist Gillian Shaw-Ridley.

But for a diagnosis of CAS, more specific signs are also needed (see “common symptoms of CAS”). Assessment must be made by a paediatric neurologist, child psychologist or speech-language therapist experienced in diagnosing CAS to rule out other possible causes – including autism (where the child battles to interact), a receptive language impairment (where they battle to understand language), or low oral motor tone resulting in muscle weakness.

Pedro is researching apraxia, special needs and education, and working with parents of children with apraxia, using an individualised programme focusing on age-appropriate developmental milestones. “It’s important that speech, occupational and behavioural therapists, psychologists and even educators work together,” she says.

It’s always advisable to have a team of health practitioners working with your child.

In addition, some therapists advocate teaching children alternative communication methods, such as sign language, using pictures, or using electronic devices like tablets to produce words and sentences – “various apps are available,” says Shaw-Ridley. There are also audio programmes, some using filtered music to stimulate certain areas of the brain. “If one of these is used, it should be made very clear why it’s being used for a specific child,” she says.

“Parents sometimes feel that using alternative communication systems may inhibit the development of language,” says De Vos. “But it can be very useful in encouraging communication and decreasing negative behaviour due to frustration when the child is not understood.”

magazine cape town

Deidre and other mothers report the best progress from a combination of speech and occupational therapy.

“Evan’s been doing both,” Deidre says. “The therapists also taught the wonderful caregivers at his mainstream crèche how to help him, and he’s speaking and reading much better.” This year he turned five and joined a special Grade R class for CAS children, begun recently at the Tygerberg Hospital School.

Deidre’s concern, and that of most parents, is for her child’s future. “After Grade R, then what? Most of these children aren’t fully mainstream, but they also aren’t properly special needs.”

“CAS occurs on a continuum, and depending on the severity, and the progress the child makes, some may later go to a special needs school, a remedial school, or occasionally a mainstream school (with support),” says Shaw-Ridley. There are a few specialised schools that assist children with communication and related developmental difficulties including CAS, she adds, but not enough.

Pedro is currently researching inclusive education at schools in Cape Town, and she and Deidre are founder members of the fledgling Dyspraxia/Apraxia Foundation of SA (DAFSA), which will work to promote inclusive, accessible education countrywide. Deidre and another mom of a child with apraxia, Lydia de Villiers, have also launched Apraxia Awareness SA, to raise awareness in parents and teachers, and lobby government to provide appropriate schooling.

“All we want is for our children to be helped to be selfsufficient and live a full and happy life,” says Deidre. “Is that too much to ask?”

tips for parents • R ead up on apraxia, advises Athena Pedro – visit reputable sites such as mayoclinic.org or apraxia-kids.org • Practise sounds, words and sentences with your child under guidance of a qualified speechlanguage therapist.

• Give positive reinforcement – praise, motivate and encourage them to meet milestones.

• Acknowledge their strengths.

• Be patient.

• Have routine and structure in their day.

• Get all people who interact with your child involved in stimulating language, at home and at school.

find support CAS affects 3% to 5% of preschoolers who have speech impairments, reports CASANA (the Childhood Apraxia of Speech Association of North America), and four times more boys than girls. If your child is among them, contact: • Apraxia Awareness SA: deidre@aarsa.co.za, lydia@aarsa.co.za or aarsa.co.za • DAFSA: This was launched with an information and support website on International Apraxia Awareness Day (May 14): 021 976 8795, 073 839 9524 or aspedro@uwc.ac.za

July 2015

13

education

Banish boredom from your home during the holidays with these easy-to-make, indoor and outdoor games that can also teach children a thing or two. By TAMLYN VINCENT

alphabet pictures

Prep Print and cut out the letters of the alphabet. Find pictures in magazines that correspond with these letters and cut these out as well. Tie up a piece of string and peg the letters along the string in alphabetical order.

Play Children match up the letters to the pictures. So if they have a picture of a tree, they need to peg it with the letter T. The pictures can be more advanced for older children.

home-made bingo

the key to fun indoors outdoors on your own in a group with a parent

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July 2015

Prep Make your own bingo boards by printing out a grid with colours, pictures, numbers or letters in the blocks. Jumble them up so each card is different. These can be simpler for younger children, using just colours, while older children can have pictures of animals, continents or other relevant items. Print out another set of the pictures or colours, cut these out and place them in a bag.

Play Someone pulls cards from the bag, calling them out to the other players. Any player who has a corresponding block puts a token on that block. The first person to get a straight line of tokens calls out “bingo” and wins the game.

who am i?

Prep Print and cut out a selection of animal names, places or people.

Try to theme these to make it a bit easier, like zoo animals, mountain ranges or famous authors. You’ll also need a few safety pins.

Play Pin a name on the back of each person’s shirt. Everyone else can see each person’s name, but they aren’t allowed to tell that person what name they have.

Children have to figure out who they are by asking questions.

Prep Write down a selection of quick activities, such as “run around the tree” or “find a yellow flower”. Depending on your child’s age, you could write down questions such as “who is the president of South Africa?” Cut these out. Then gather nine plastic cups and place them in a pyramid shape on the ground. Place a few pieces of paper in each cup.

Play Children stand a short distance away from the cups and throw a ball into one of them.

They must then take out a piece of paper and do what it says or answer the question. Add an element of surprise by writing out a few lucky prizes, such as “Choose a treat” or “Sit one out”.

ILLUSTRATIONS: shutterstock.com

challenge accepted

cup of fortune

magazine cape town

storytelling Prep Select a few words at random, such as “dog”, “ladybird” and “hop”. For older children use a dictionary to find more challenging options, or ask children for words they learnt at school. You can also use story blocks. These are wooden squares, like dice, with words written on them. Write nouns, like places or animals, on each side of one block, and on the other write actions or emotions.

Play Ask children to tell a story using the words that have been selected. To play with the story blocks, roll the blocks and tell a story using the words that appear on the top.

marble run Prep Gather an assortment of tubes and pipes, and find some marbles. You will also need some masking tape or duct tape.

Play Give your child the equipment, and find a spare wall in the house. They can then design a marble run, taping the tubes and pipes onto the wall, so that the marbles will run down to the bottom. If there are any flaws in their design, they should find a way to fix them.

If a few children are playing, split them into teams and see who can build the longest, or quickest, marble run with the same number of parts.

magazine cape town

hoop toss Prep Cut the centre out of a few paper plates and stick a long cardboard tube upright on another paper plate. If you have a group of children playing, make a few more uprights and colour the hoops in different colours.

Play Children take turns throwing the hoops over the tube. Try playing in teams if there are lots of children, where each team gets a different colour. You can also do time trials, giving the players a minute to get as many as possible. They will need to use teamwork so that they have a steady stream of hoops to throw.

bean bag maths Prep Get a large piece of cardboard and cut holes of varying sizes in it. Assign numbers to each hole, with the biggest hole having the lowest number and the smallest having the highest number. Use numbers that are age-appropriate.

Play Children take turns throwing bean bags or balls through the holes. Each time they get one through they add that hole’s number to their score. Make it harder by adding symbols like +, -, or x in front of the numbers.

mystery bag Prep Find a cloth bag that children can’t see inside. Place a variety of small objects in the bag. Look for items that have different textures, like squishy balls, a wooden block covered in sandpaper, or a piece of silk ribbon.

Play Children feel inside the bag and try to guess what the objects are. Younger children can simply enjoy feeling the different textures, but older children should try to name the items. If you have a group of children, you can give each child one minute to feel inside the bag, and then they can write down as many objects as they can recall feeling in the bag.

rainy day games guaranteed to use up energy • B alloon juggling – don’t let the balloon touch the ground.

• Indoor hopscotch – use masking tape to outline the blocks.

• Indoor maze – use masking tape to mark a maze on the floor, then kick a ball through the maze.

• Play musical chairs or musical statues.

• Have pillow case races down the passage.

• Stepping stones – children try getting from one side of the room to the other without touching the floor.

July 2015

15

parenting

boys don’t cry …or do they but we pretend otherwise?

JOCELYN WARRINGTON explains why it’s high time we speak up for the emotional needs of boys.

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July 2015

Durban-based educational psychologist Anwen Cunningham-Scholtz echoes Du Plessis’ findings: “Boys who are unable to ‘own’ their feelings by way of expressing, managing and processing them, often have very chaotic inner lives,” she says. “As a result, they are like emotional ‘pressure cookers’, susceptible to overreacting to seemingly trivial things which, in effect, trigger a well of suppressed emotions.”

According to Cristine Scolari, a clinical psychologist from Joburg, boys who have not learnt – or been allowed – to articulate their emotions also tend to lump all their negative feelings under the umbrella of anger. “It is generally more socially acceptable for a boy to show anger than to admit that he is scared,” says Scolari. “Anger, then, becomes a front for everything from sadness and fear to loneliness and disappointment.”

“The irony,” points out Cunningham-Scholtz, “is that while the mother, however unintentionally, encourages her son to bury his feelings, she simultaneously complains that her husband is emotionally unavailable to her.”

The accepted notion is that boys must be tough, brave, and unemotional, or else risk being labelled a sissy. boys to men While she admits that there is no doubt that commonly held ideas of hegemonic masculinity contribute towards boys burying their emotions, Anne McDonald refuses to believe this is an inevitable, hard-wired response. “Boys can – and often are – open to exploring their emotional lives,” she says, “but their environments need to facilitate this. Parents and schools have to encourage boys to express and identify their emotions, understand where they come from, and then develop constructive ways to deal with them. By so doing, boys will develop the emotional intelligence needed to help them cope with life’s pressures.”

Cunningham-Scholtz adds: “Emotional intelligence also means being able to understand the feelings and perspectives of others and thus develop empathy. This helps in the formation of healthy relationships, both in childhood and later in life. Research – and my own experience – also shows that emotionally intelligent boys are more resilient and better able to cope with the bravado of a testosterone-fuelled environment. They develop the crucial capacity to identify when to stand up for themselves and when to let things go.”

Parents can help their sons develop emotional intelligence by giving voice to their feelings, says Cunningham-Scholtz. “Saying things like, ‘I can see you’re getting frustrated…’, ‘I know you get angry when…’, ‘That must have really hurt your feelings to make you cry like that…’ will help a child create a vocabulary for expressing his feelings.”

Scolari points out that parents should also model appropriate ways of dealing with feelings: “If you bottle up your own feelings and don’t talk about what is bothering you, your child will learn that this is an appropriate way to deal with emotions, and do exactly the same.” magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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lick through newspapers and magazines and you’ll find plenty of stories about the problems girls face in childhood and their teens – early sexualisation, pressure to conform to unhealthy stereotypes, depression, anorexia and self-harm – but you’ll find little about boys. It’s as though an assumption has taken hold that boys don’t need or deserve our concern and help.

The reality is quite the opposite. Boys need our attention now more than ever. According to Anne McDonald, an educational psychologist and counsellor at a prominent boys’ prep school in Cape Town, “Boys exist in a highly competitive world and the jostle for a place in their social milieu can lead to feelings of pain and rejection. The wounding that can develop from this often doesn’t have the opportunity to be exposed or acknowledged and therefore ‘healing’ involves the formation of hardened scars.”

Joburg-based educational psychologist Christelle du Plessis agrees. “Boys today have it tough. The demands on them are enormous and they get it from all sides: by parents and teachers they’re pressured to perform both academically and on the sports field; and by their peers they’re required to find their place in the pecking order. And they’re expected to ‘man up’ to these challenges, not run away, or cry, or do anything else deemed similarly ‘wimpish’.”

Add to this the pressure that huge social changes in the last 50 or so years have piled onto boys. In the 60s, boys were highly valued. Unskilled labour was still plentiful and it demanded a man’s superior physical strength, as had the Second World War, which had ended only 15 years before – another compelling reason to respect and revere men. But fast-forward a couple of generations and the perceived value of boys has plummeted as manual jobs have disappeared to be replaced in a knowledge-based economy by roles that require the “soft skills” of empathy and communication – skills at which females excel.

Boys are having to do it the girls’ way, or face lagging seriously behind.

Not only is there the argument that male interests have been squeezed out in the rush to right historic injustices against women, but there exists, too, a profound ignorance of the way in which boys develop. The prevailing wisdom that boys don’t experience strong emotions only recently came under fire by experts in the field of child development.

“If we look at the emotional development of children, we see that boys and girls are actually on a par as preschoolers in what is developmentally expected,” notes Du Plessis.

“The so-called terrible twos, when children, frustrated at their inability to express their needs, resort to tantrums, are as applicable to boys as they are to girls. As boys grow up, however, they become aware of the different expectations set out for them by their parents, their teachers, their peers (both male and female), and society in general, and they adapt accordingly. Sure, there are basic behavioural differences between boys and girls, but these are overtly exaggerated by our gendered culture. And the accepted notion is that boys must be tough, brave, and unemotional, or else risk being labelled a sissy.”

When they reach adolescence, boys are well-conditioned to keep their feelings to themselves, asserts Du Plessis. “No longer trusting the validity of his emotions, a boy will deny himself his feelings altogether, and may turn to drugs or alcohol in an attempt to numb his inner pain and escape his emotions,” she explains, adding that such boys are at risk of low self-esteem, depression, anger issues, anxiety disorders and even suicide. “We see more and more boys, for instance, suffering from anorexia, bulimia and self-harm – the age-old girls’ disorders.”

She also encourages parents not to be afraid of negative emotions. “We are sometimes so alarmed when our children express negative emotions, such as distress, sadness or anxiety, that our immediate reaction is to try to make it all better. Instead, it’s important that we remind ourselves that negative emotions are an excellent – albeit often painful – way to learn crucial coping and problem-solving skills, resourcefulness and an awareness of one’s own emotional triggers.”

“Parents must remember that they are raising their sons to be future husbands and fathers,” adds Du Plessis. “You want your son to be kind, caring and loving. You want him to be in a happy, fulfilling and enduring relationship one day. To do this, you need to raise a compassionate man who is able to put himself into the shoes of others, and who can communicate effectively with his wife and children. In the words of the late Walter Schirra, an American astronaut and surely the ultimate ‘manly’ man: ‘You don’t raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they’ll turn out to be heroes, even if it’s just in your own eyes’.”

magazine cape town

express yourself!

Educational psychologist Christelle du Plessis suggests ways parents can help sons to effectively articulate and process their feelings: • Make an emotions book. Select certain feelings and ask your child to find pictures displaying them. Remember to include emotions like anxiety, annoyance and cheerfulness, instead of the more general happy and sad.

• If your son is unable to find the words to express what he is feeling, do it for him: “You feel sad that Mommy is leaving, and Mommy feels sad that she has to leave, but I am going now so that I can come back and fetch you later.” In this way, you acknowledge his feelings and also mirror them, showing that it is okay to feel this way.

• Play games where you pull faces and your child guesses what emotion you are displaying.

• Read stories to your child in which characters have a difficult time, and experience many different emotions.

• Schedule a regular date with your son. Take him out on his own (without his siblings)

•

•

•

•

and use the time not to judge or complain, but to really listen to and engage with him, allowing him to talk about whatever he chooses. The point is to get to know your son’s inner landscape.

As boys grow up, it is important for them to have trusted friends, ones with whom they don’t have to maintain a macho attitude. Encourage such friendships – it is remarkable how supportive boys can be of one another.

Instead of always asking, “What happened?” or “How did you respond?”, ask “How do you feel?”. It is amazing how limited boys’ emotional vocabularies can be.

Encourage your son to keep a diary. This is for his private thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams, not for Mom to snoop around in. The whole idea is to get the emotion out instead of it being bottled up inside, and writing can be a wonderful medium for self-expression.

Above all, accept your child’s uniqueness.

Get to really know him, and appreciate him for who he is.

July 2015

17

book extract

comforting crowd-pleasers The recipes in SAM GATES’ cookbook Food for Your Brood will inspire you to gather your favourite people together and get cooking.

no-brainer pot roast chicken with bacon, leeks and cider

ingredients • 30ml (2 tbsp) olive oil • 2 cloves garlic, crushed • 1 red onion, chopped • 2 rashers streaky bacon, snipped into small pieces • 2 leeks, sliced into medallions • 2kg whole chicken • 6 carrots, peeled and quartered • 1 x 330ml bottle cider or the same quantity white wine (if you prefer not to use alcohol, you can also use chicken or vegetable stock instead) • 5ml (1 tsp) dried thyme or 15ml (1 tbsp) fresh thyme leaves • Salt and freshly ground black pepper • 60ml (4 tbsp) double cream • 15ml (1 tbsp) wholegrain mustard • 30ml (2 tbsp) finely chopped fresh parsley

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method Heat the oven to 180°C. Gently warm the olive oil in a stovetopto-oven casserole, then add the garlic, onion, bacon and leeks. Cook on a medium heat, stirring continuously, until the leeks and onions are cooked but not brown.

Place the chicken in the casserole, breast side up, on top of the vegetables.

Place the carrots snugly around the bird and pour over the cider or white wine.

Sprinkle with thyme and season with salt and black pepper. Put on a tight-fitting lid and cook in the oven for 1 hour. Remove the lid, baste the chicken with the juices and return to the oven for 20–30 minutes until the breast side is golden brown.

Take the casserole out of the oven and check that the chicken is cooked through. Transfer the chicken and vegetables into a warm ovenproof serving dish, but leave the juices in the casserole.

Cover the chicken with foil and return to the switched-off oven to keep warm.

On the stovetop, bring the juices to the boil in the casserole and reduce a little. Turn the heat down and add the cream and mustard, stirring without boiling until warmed through. Transfer the sauce to a warm jug, scatter the chopped parsley over the chicken and vegetables and serve immediately. magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: Anthea Kirkman

This is a wonderfully friendly pot roast. It’s so easy that everyone from the smallest to the grumpiest in the household can be the chef, and supper will still taste amazing.

Basically you grab a handful of veggies, some bacon, and a chicken, then find a glass of cider, wine or chicken stock (if alcohol’s not for you) and stick the lot into a big pot with a few herbs and a tight lid.

Bake for a few hours, then eat. If that was too quick, here’s the slow version – feeds a hungry foursome.

golden onions baked with cheese and herbs There are two schools of thought when it comes to baked onions. Cook them whole and pour sauce and cheese over the top, or get fancy, scoop out the middle and fill them up with goodies before baking.

Both are good but the simple version has the added bonus of providing excellent mopping up juices to play with, so make sure you have a loaf of crusty bread handy.

Feeds four for lunch or eight as a side dish. ingredients • 8 medium-sized onions, peeled and the top and bottom sliced off • 30ml (2 tbsp) olive oil • 15ml (1 tbsp) chopped fresh thyme • 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped • salt and freshly ground black pepper • 50g Parmesan cheese, finely grated • 2,5ml (½ tsp) smoked paprika • 250ml fresh cream • 4 slices wholewheat bread, whizzed into breadcrumbs • 15ml (1 tbsp) chopped fresh parsley or thyme

method Heat the oven to 190°C. Bring a large saucepan of salted water to the boil and blanch the onions for 6 minutes. Drain and cut in half horizontally, then fit them, cut side up, into a greased gratin dish or shallow casserole. They should fit snugly and hold each other upright. Drizzle with olive oil, scatter over the chopped thyme and garlic, season with salt and pepper, then bake for 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, mix the Parmesan, paprika, cream and a good grind of salt and pepper in a bowl. Stir in the breadcrumbs.

Take the onions out of the oven and pour the cheese, cream and breadcrumb mixture over the top. Return to the oven for another 20 minutes until the sauce is bubbling and golden.

Remove from the oven and serve from the hot dish sprinkled with fresh parsley or thyme.

about the book With over 70 ideas for inspirational, delicious dishes – from noisy, outrageous breakfasts to soothingly sweet tea-time delights and amazing one-pot suppers – Food for Your Brood (Struik Lifestyle) by Sam Gates will transform your cooking. For the author, the best meals are those shared with the people we love, when the humblest ingredients, casually gathered, seem to magically turn into fine feasts. So, celebrate food, life and the people you love with this sunny collection of glorious recipes. Food for Your Brood is available at all good bookstores for R275.

magazine cape town

July 2015

19

parenting

In defence of single parenthood, long-time single mom JOCELYN WARRINGTON explains why her daughter is not just surviving, but thriving.

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nowing that I’ve gone it alone from the day of my daughter’s conception 10 years ago, a broody yet unattached 40-something friend recently asked me, “Should I have a baby on my own?”

Because my single-parent status is more a result of circumstance than choice, I’d never really taken the time to deliberately weigh up the pros and cons of raising a child on my own. Sure, celebrity single moms like Charlize Theron, Sandra Bullock and Madonna make multitasking look defiantly fashionable (and so they should, with an entourage of nannies in their wake), but the default assumption is that single parenting is all hard slog with very little let-up... and that single moms are a haggard breed, teetering permanently on the precipice of either physical burnout or nervous breakdown, or both. It makes me feel almost guilty, then, to admit that I’m having the time of my life. Don’t get me wrong – I’m in no doubt as to the benefits of the dual-family unit. But, with or without a partner, motherhood can be its own reward, and the truth is that there are some very real (albeit sometimes egotistical) perks to raising a child on your own. These are mine…

i get to share an extra-special bond “But doesn’t your child need a father?” people sometimes ask. I guess I understand. We don’t fit into the traditional notion of what constitutes a family – but who does anymore?

And my daughter, Hannah, has a wonderful grandfather and my male friends who provide her with examples of good men and let her know how much she is loved. But, most important, she has me. Our bond is strong. It’s just her and

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July 2015

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

flying solo

me in our little family of two (plus a 40kg dog). Together we giggle (and sniffle through Charlotte’s Web). We get our nails done (she favours sparkly purple polish). We go for walks on the beach, to the movies and out for sushi. And we talk.

She has only me to depend on and trust (and I get a supersnuggly fleece-clad bedmate).

i get to be a stellar role model of independence One of the best gifts I am able to give my daughter is the knowledge that she can make it on her own. Earn a living, pay the bond, change a light bulb… cue Mom. As a result, I embody the idea that it’s better to “want” to be in a relationship for the loving bond, companionship, and all those other plusses, than that I “need” to be in a relationship because there is stuff to be done or bills to be paid. What’s more, I’ve been surprised to find out all the things I can do as a woman raising a child on my own. I support us both.

It pinches sometimes, but I’ve become very good at saving (I never used to be). I’ve even learnt how to do some of the “man stuff”: I’ve put together a crib, a miniature Vespa scooter (so many pieces!), and a kitchen set (with microwave).

everything she’s learnt was from me. I taught, I helped, and I was there every step of the way.

i get to teach some valuable life lessons I won’t kid you – or myself – by saying that single parenting is easy on my daughter, but I’ve noticed that my child is more competent, more observant and kinder than many of her friends who live in two-parent households. One reason for this, I believe, is that she has more responsibility – for herself and for the household. She helps out with chores and errands. She understands when I’m tired. She realises that if she wants more than the meagre pocket money I give her, she needs to make and sell greeting cards or loomband bracelets to earn extra money.

One of the best gifts I am able to give my daughter is the knowledge that she can make it on her own.

i get to see everything… and I get bragging rights

i get to break the rules

From first step to the first date, I get to see (and photograph) it all. I’m there to witness so many milestone moments, some of which I would miss if I were taking turns with the dad. On top of that, when you’re the only parent, you can lay claim to being the sole reason for your child’s successes. Every milestone, every accomplishment,

I am already different by virtue of being a single mom, so what do I risk by not conforming to relatively unimportant traditions? For example, I can look you straight in the eye and say, “Yes, after dinner, she baths and gets dressed in her school stockings. When she wakes up in the morning, all she has to do is put on her shoes. You got a problem with that?”

magazine cape town

i get to ditch the drama Contrary to some predictions, my daughter has made it thus far without stealing hubcaps, selling crack cocaine or joining a cult – and there is every indication that she will reach adulthood without any such problems. In fact, I’m guessing that she’s better off than if she had spent these years listening to Mom and Dad exchanging angry words or, worse, engulfed by icy silence or crackling resentment. In this assumption at least, research bears me out. A study conducted by social psychologists at the University of Illinois of all different kinds of households in 39 nations found that what mattered most to children’s emotional development was not whether they were raised by two cohabiting biological parents or a single mother (or, for that matter, adoptive parents, or a stepmother, or two fathers…). Instead, whether children had problems with their marks or in their relationships with their siblings or friends depended on whether there were high levels of conflict within their families. In other words, it’s safe for me to say that my child is emotionally better off being raised by a single parent than if she stayed in a home with two married parents who want to kill each other.

The point, then, is to let go of the fantasy that all children living in nuclear families have two totally engaged parents who lavish their love and attention on all their children, and on each other, in a home free of anger, conflict, and recriminations. Sure, Hannah has her share of problems, but she doesn’t have more than her share.

July 2015

21

your child’s life

dressing without drama Does the simple task of getting your child dressed often develop into a full-scale battle?

ANÉL LEWIS has suggestions for dealing with the fussy, the fickle and the fashion conscious.

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July 2015

to be passed on to someone else. She also seems to have tactile issues with certain fabrics. I can’t get her to wear anything with frills, lace or capped sleeves.

dressing dilemmas Clothing for infants and babies is all about safety, comfort and ease of access. And it’s probably the only time you will be able to dress your son from head to toe in butternut yellow, or dress your daughter in a Baby-gro that says “Daddy’s girl”, so enjoy it while you can. As soon as your child moves into the toddler phase and starts asserting their personality, clothing takes on a whole new meaning. Suddenly, a T-shirt morphs into a bargaining tool as your toddler realises that he can mess up your morning routine by refusing to wear that pair of shorts. I have to admit that I have sent my son, Conor, now three, to school in his pyjamas a couple of times rather than magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

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ntil she was about two years old, my daughter Erin would only wear trousers and T-shirts emblazoned with Superman. While other girls arrived at birthday parties in beautiful dresses, their hair swept up with sparkling clips, Erin insisted on wearing a tatty old shirt with an image of her superhero, and a pair of leggings. Now almost five, Erin loves wearing dresses – but if there’s a ribbon or belt, she refuses to let me tie it in a bow. She is also very particular about the shoes she will wear – flip-flops in summer and well, if she could, flip-flops in winter.

I’ve tried takkies with glitter motifs and durable Crocs that will survive the rigours of the playground. But her reaction to these is always the same: “I’ll wear them tomorrow, Mom.” I learnt very quickly that “tomorrow” is Erin’s code for “never in your wildest dreams”, and that the shoes or item of clothing she’s snubbed will have

deal with the histrionics of getting him to wear a clean shirt. Until recently, he was unfazed about what he had on. But now he’s become quite insistent about what he will wear. He won’t dress in anything with buttons and a collar, and “Woody” – who was once the coolest thing out – is now “stupid”, so that T-shirt is languishing at the bottom of the cupboard. Conor also seems to have an issue with anything resembling a uniform. It was after only two Saturdays of tears and tantrums that I realised his issue with rugby class was not the game, but the kit. I let him go in old shorts and a pyjama top the following week and he was happier than Schalk Burger at a Super Rugby derby.

freedom of choice Being able to choose what to wear is critical for the development of your child’s identity. There’s nothing wrong with letting your child assert her personality with her clothing preferences, as long as it won’t do her any harm – a leotard in midwinter is probably not the wisest choice – and it’s appropriate. Try to discourage clothing that’s unsuitable for their age, or provocative. From about the age of three, however, there is bound to be considerable interest in television and movie characters, so you will have to decide whether you want your child to wear themed clothing. I allow one or two branded items, and then opt for colourful basics that they can wear at school and on weekends. Erin has on occasion left the house in a ballet tutu, one of Conor’s truck-patterned shirts, a pair of gumboots and some fairy wings.

She thought she looked amazing and I made sure that her father remarked on her wonderful ensemble. The few hours of slight embarrassment (for us) were well

worth seeing the pride with which she wore her creation. There was also a brief stint where she would emerge from the bedroom wearing items of our underwear over her clothes, but that passed after a few weeks and, thankfully, she never actually made it out of the door in our unmentionables.

So, as long as it won’t make the neighbours point and stare, or induce hyperthermia, it’s probably okay to let them dress as they wish. And besides, if you take good photos you will have plenty of ammunition for the slideshow at their 21st birthday party. Children relish the independence of being able to choose their clothes, and to dress themselves.

So what if a few items are mismatched?

Who said stripes and polka dots can’t feature in one outfit? For children, getting dressed is about exploring themselves and their environment. Be warned, however, that waiting for a toddler to get dressed can be an exercise in patience that would put some Tibetan monks to the test.

Erin’s been known to make several outfit changes before settling on something that passes muster.

appropriate attire As children get older, clothing becomes more important. For some, it symbolises their association with a particular group at school. Be sure to set boundaries – specify the length for skirts and the types of tops you will allow. Teenagers will realise that clothing can also be used to attract the opposite sex, and this will present a new set of challenges. Again, there will be the multiple wardrobe changes, but probably because you’ve read them the Riot Act for wearing something unacceptable, or because they’re searching for the “perfect outfit”.

mitigate wardrobe meltdowns • G ive younger children a choice between two outfits. They’ll still feel as if they have some say in what they are wearing, but it will spare you the multiple outfit changes.

• If there’s a tactile issue, avoid clothing that exacerbates the problem. Keep it simple, opting for cotton fabrics and outfits with few buttons or seams.

• Allow enough time in the morning to get ready – there’s a good chance your preschool child will try on at least two outfits.

• Clothing choices became easier when I let my daughter come shopping with me. She gets to choose what she likes and I save money by not buying items that she won’t wear.

• Have a dress-up box that also encourages your child to show off her inner fashionista before she leaves the house.

• For younger children, buy items that are easier to put on. Avoid belts and finicky fasteners that could make getting dressed a challenge.

• Pick your battles. Some days, accept that you’re not going to win and have a back-up outfit in your bag in case the chosen garb is not weather or situation appropriate.

• Remember that clothing choices reflect your child’s personality, not yours. Try to not be too critical of their selection, unless it goes against the boundaries you’ve set.

• Have a clothing policy for older children. Be firm about what’s acceptable. This includes how much you will spend on branded items, for example.

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July 2015

23

relationships

ruining marriage

?

Researchers say that one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is to focus on their life as a couple, but what happens when parents become too focused on their child, allowing their relationship with each

w

other to suffer? By SAMANTHA PAGE

hen you fall in love, you kiss your sweetheart, tenderly, you share in-jokes, you tell each other everything, and, sometimes, you even give up the remote control.

He steers her through a crowd at the busy neighbourhood market with his hand gently resting on the curve of her back, and she takes a moment to admire him from a distance as he chats with his mates around the braai, wondering how she got so lucky.

Jump forward a few years, and the kisses are fleeting pecks before you turn out the light at night, or as you’re rushing out of the house in the morning, and your sense of humour seems to have gone on vacation without you. This scenario may paint a somewhat grim picture of marriage

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with children, but it’s a fact, though much debated, that “taking the leap from being a couple to becoming a family of three is exciting, exhilarating and joyful, but it’s also exhausting, overwhelming and worrisome,” says psychologist Dr Leisa Bailey. Between the sleep deprivation and the mountain of daily tasks, the shift is away from the spouse, and sometimes new parents find themselves losing the strong connection they once shared as a couple.

Dr John Jacobs is a couple’s therapist and the author of All You Need is Love and Other Lies About Marriage (HarperCollins).

He contends that couples often think children solidify a marriage, but the truth is, they can also be a serious threat. “The transition from couplehood to parenthood makes one of the greatest stressors in

remodelling marriage Men and women have been having children since the beginning of time, so why now has your bundle of joy become such a “relationship grenade”, as the writer Nora Ephron once called them? Physician and researcher Danielle Teller presents one theory in her article “How American Parenting is Killing the American Marriage”: “Sometime between when we were children and when we had children of our own, parenthood became a religion… As with many religions, complete unthinking devotion is required from its practioners. Nothing in life is allowed to be more important than our children, and we must never speak a disloyal word about our relationships with our offspring.

Children always come first. We accept this premise so reflexively today that we forget that it was not always so.”

Where Are They Now?, Waldman stood by her controversial confession: “If you focus all your emotional passion on your children, you neglect the relationship that brought that family into existence, and eventually things can go really, really wrong. My husband is the focus of my romantic devotion and, though I haven’t always been the perfect mother, giving my children a sense of security in their parents’ relationship is something I feel really proud of.”

While fathers are by no means exempt from this new-fangled childolatory, a word coined by Psychology Today, which is defined as “the worship of one’s children at the expense of one’s marriage,” it’s often mothers that seem most burdened by overzealous parenting in their Herculean effort to be the best parent and raise the most well-adjusted children. “Parents, especially moms, believe that a good mother stimulates her children constantly, taking them to museums and signing them up for character-broadening extracurricular activities. She reads all the current literature on parenting and takes primary

The paradox appears to be that we expect so much more from our marriages these days, but we tend to feed them less.

When author Ayelet Waldman declared in her 2005 New York Times essay entitled “Truly, Madly, Guiltily” that she “loved her husband more than her children” because she is in love with her husband but she’s not in love with her children, she was virtually burnt at the Mommy Club stake.

“She’s doing a disservice to her family,” said one ardent critic, and thousands of others joined in caustic comment threads on sites across the US and further afield.

Nine years later, on an episode of Oprah:

responsibility for the care and feeding of the children,” says Bonnie Rochman, writing for Time magazine.

In a recent article in The Atlantic, Richard Reeves presents another angle to the debate, citing research that universityeducated women are driving “a new marriage model, reinventing marriage as a child-rearing machine for a post-feminist and knowledge society. It’s egalitarian, committed and focused on children.”

According to Reeves, married, well-

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

is parenting

the life of a marriage. Add to that the fact that we’ve become a society that is hyperfocused on the emotional wellbeing of our children, sometimes too focused, and you have almost no time or inclination to attend to the needs of your spouse.”

educated women are delaying childbearing until they are financially stable, and then pouring time, money and energy into raising their children, and while couples occasionally manage a date night, every night is parenting night.

“It had been three years since my husband and I had more than one night alone,” says Natalie Martyn, writing for Parent24.com. “So we went on a sevenday, child-free, naughty, indulgent, sanityand marriage-saving bonanza. Every night we drank red wine and talked as if we’d just met, solving problems, planning the future, having whole conversations without being distracted by the verbal diarrhoea of an energetic toddler. We were like two stray magnets finally reunited.”

that must be acknowledged. “Having ‘me-time’ is as important as having ‘us time’. Mothers should plan a girls’ night out while Dad is home taking care of the children and vice versa. And then couples should schedule a night or weekend away without their children.”

Parents should not sacrifice their needs (or desires) for the sake of their children, declared a Gauteng mom boldly at a recent baby expo, because what will be left of the relationship with their spouse when the children leave home? “They can’t do the best job as parents if their partnership is no good,” adds Cape Townbased relationship counsellor Margaret Fulton. “There’s also the fact that we’re living longer and better these days, so we

how to nurture the couple relationship Some tips from psychologist Dr Leisa Bailey… renegotiate your relationship Discuss the division of labour and how to manage time with all your new demands. Resentments are inevitable if responsibilities are not shared. don’t find time, make time Carve out daily time – even just 20 minutes is good enough – and a larger block to spend together weekly.

Focus on maintaining a sense of knowing each other well and nurturing your friendship. it’s the little things Especially with young children, don’t set romantic expectations too high.

Grand gestures are great, but it’s the simple things that make a difference.

Bringing coffee to your spouse or leaving a note of appreciation can have a tremendous impact. learn to grow Research shows that learning something new or engaging in fresh experiences together makes a couple feel more connected. You need to see your spouse as someone other than a parent. successful couples touch Make both sexual and nonsexual touching an important priority. When children are young, and new parents are overwhelmed and exhausted, it’s essential to find creative ways to stay physically connected and protect your intimacy.

The transition from couplehood to parenthood makes one of the greatest stressors in the life of a marriage. great expectations The paradox appears to be that we expect so much more from our marriages these days, but we tend to feed them less.

Many studies show that couples who do more things together are happier. Yet, says Dr John Gartner, “today’s parents, by substantial margins, spend less time alone together, less time entertaining friends, and less time in leisure activity than their parents did – primarily because of an increase in time spent intensively parenting their children.” And while parents talk earnestly about having downtime, they still feel compelled to sign their children up for a plethora of activities that range from piano lessons to chess club and everything in between.

But Nadia Thonnard, a parenting mediator at the South African Divorce Support Association (SADSA), says it’s not just couple needs but also individual needs

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need to nurture our partner relationships like we would any friendship if we want them to still be thriving when the children are out of the house.”

Nobody really knows for sure what to expect when children arrive on the scene.

There’s no accounting for the effects of an oxytocin high or the unrelenting cuteness, not to mention the primal desire to protect and nurture at any cost, but try to remember that in providing for your child’s needs, one of the most important is to have parents who really love each other and nurture what they had before baby made three. This model will set them up for better marriages themselves when they grow up. On airplanes, says Gartner, in the event of an emergency, we are instructed to put the oxygen mask on our own faces first, and then on the children. Perhaps this is a safety measure that should apply to marriage too.

July 2015

25

resource

discover

arniston in the overberg Use our nifty guide to explore this historical town and its surrounds with your family. By LUCILLE KEMP

the route You could take the straightforward N2 there and back and be done with it, but accompanied by busy, inquisitive children with endless energy, the choice route is one that in part is the breathtaking Cape Whale Route: • Cape Town to Hermanus via the N2, the R44 and the R43 – approximately two hours • Hermanus to Caledon via the R320 – approximately 50 minutes • Caledon to Arniston via the R316 – approximately one hour Driving the route will take four hours, but journeying it will take longer, with lots to do along the way. And where you don’t feel like stopping “to do”, there will be lots to see – win-win.

In order to arrive at Arniston in the spirit of the laidback town, don’t rush to get there. Allow the road trip to take the time you need to explore it.

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things to do Swimming Arniston has beaches that offer warm, shallow waters with the main beach running alongside the road.

The surf welcomes beginner and advanced surfers, and there are tidal pools dotted along the coast, that are great for swimming and snorkelling.

Walks Take a short stroll to the harbour where you can watch the fishing boats come in. Next to it is Kassiesbaai fishing village. Another must is the short walk at low tide to Waenhuiskrans. A slightly longer walk will take you to De Mond Nature Reserve.

Cape Agulhas exploration As it is the official most southern tip of Africa, take the children to the lighthouse and point out to them, while looking southwards, that the next land mass is the South Pole.

Fishing There are many good fishing areas along the coastal strip.

Whale watching Look out for whales from the vantage point of the Arniston Beachfront, specifically during the months of September and October. Expect to see, among others, Southern right and Pygmy right whales.

favoured accommodation for families The Arniston Spa Hotel They often have specials over school holidays with programmes for children. They can provide volleyball kits, soccer balls, boogie boards and mountain bikes. The hotel has easy access to the beach and there is an array of activities offered to guests. For more info: visit arnistonhotel.com Arniston Seaside Cottages These luxury self-catering cottages are situated close to the sea and have all the amenities. The beaches and rock pools are within easy walking distance. Nearby you can bargain with the fishermen for a fish to braai at your private lapa, and you can 4x4 on the dunes. For more info: arnistonseasidecottages.co.za Arniston Lodge This five-bedroom house offers fantastic B&B lodgings for a family arriving with all its extensions.

There is a swimming pool, and the beaches are within a few minutes’ walk. For more info: arnistonlodge.co.za

top tips • This getaway is best enjoyed over a three-day weekend.

• On your return journey you can drive via the N2, which takes a mere two-and-a-half hours.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

s

ituated near the southernmost tip of Africa in the Cape Overberg region, Arniston can be a great weekend getaway when you want to unwind and explore, given that your destination is a sleepy fishing village and there are a variety of picturesque towns to see on the way.

interesting facts

the road trip

Leaving Cape Town via the N2 then onto the R44

Hermanus

Rooi Els

• A tourist hotspot for whale watching, the town has its own whale crier.

• The old stone yacht harbour and the new harbour are attractive features.

• Many scenic beach walks can be enjoyed.

• There are plenty of restaurants, with a highlight being Bientang’s Cave Seafood Restaurant, which is carved into a deep cave that overlooks the Old Harbour.

• A variety of accommodation includes a favourite among many families – the Marine Hotel.

• Grotto Beach is a pet-friendly, Blue Flag beach.

• A pretty drive through the town • A beach that is popular with divers

Detour to Stanford

Strand • Strand Waterslides • A long, open old-school beach road for a nice, easy stroll, spectacular views, and shops and cafés dotted along the walkway • Nearby, Gordon’s Bay offers the Gordon’s Bay Yacht Club and Bikini Beach, a Blue Flag beach.

Betty’s Bay • Stony Point Penguin Colony nearby • Harold Porter National Botanical Gardens

Kleinmond • Fantastic whale sightings from August to November, with view sites available • Kogelberg Nature Reserve offers a small lagoon, which not only provides a safe swimming area for children, but also a lovely picnic area and boats are available for rent.

• Palmiet Caravan Site is popular for camping and caravanning, boasting all three of Kleinmond’s features – the Palmiet Mountains, the Palmiet River Lagoon, and a beautiful stretch of rocky and sandy coastline.

• Leaving Kleinmond you’ll eventually find the Arabella Hotel and Spa.

From here get onto the R43 towards Hermanus

Onrus • This is a pretty little village with a beach that is popular with families as it is flanked by a lagoon. The Milkwood Restaurant overlooks the beach and offers great seafood.

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• This foodie town is a short drive inland, and is built into the rocks.

• Walk to, or paddle, down Klein River to the bird sanctuary.

• Klein River Cheese Factory is perfect for picnics.

From here head back towards the R320, which will get you to Caledon and a detour to Hemel en Aarde Valley.

This is a coastal wine region that has grown in popularity.

Caledon • There are natural warm mineral baths at the Caledon Spa; just be sure to book ahead as a day visitor.

From here drive onto the R316

Napier

• A rniston was named after an 1815-shipwreck, although the town is known as Waenhuiskrans to the locals, which refers to the popular sea cave that was said to be large enough to house a wagon and oxen.

• Back in the day, Arniston was exclusively a fishing community. The unspoilt town has held on to its heritage, evident in its many classic thatched, lime-washed cottages, and has been declared a national monument.

• A fishing village to this day, you can still see the local fishermen of Kassiesbaai arriving daily at the harbour with their fishing boats.

• The town is near to Cape Agulhas, the southernmost tip of Africa.

• The Denel Overberg Test Range is nearby.

websites for more info • •

• • • • • • • •

• The pretty town makes for scenic driving.

• •

Bredasdorp

•

• The Shipwreck Museum, if your family are history buffs.

• Here you will learn about the rich local maritime history.

• If you’re staying at self-catering accommodation in Arniston, shop for your supplies at this point.

• • •

verberg Online – overbergonline.co.za O Cape Agulhas – sanparks.co.za/ parks/agulhas Strand Waterslides – waterslides.co.za Gordon’s Bay Yacht Club – gbyc.co.za Blue Flag Beaches – blueflag.org.za Kleinmond Tourism – kleinmondtourism.co.za Harold Porter National Botanical Garden – sanbi.org/gardens/harold-porter Cape Whale Coast – whalecoast.info Kogelberg Nature Reserve – capenature.co.za/ reserves/kogelberg-nature-reserve Arabella Hotel and Spa – africanpridehotels. com/hotels/Pages/arabella-hotel-spa.aspx Hermanus Tourism – hermanustourism.info Bientang’s Cave Restaurant and Wine Bar – bientangscave.com The Marine Hotel – collectionmcgrath.com/ content/landing/the-marine Klein River Cheese Factory – kleinrivercheese.co.za Hemel en Aarde Valley – hermanuswineroute. com/hemel-en-aarde-valley Caledon Spa – thecaledoncasino.co.za

Finally, on to your destination

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27

calendar

what’s on in july

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see.

Compiled by LUCILLE KEMP

1

FUN FOR CHILDREN – p29

ONLY FOR PARENTS – p33

SPECIAL EVENTS – p29 The Harlem Globetrotters perform in SA The US-based exhibition basketball squad returns to South Africa after almost two decades.

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Watershed Play Pad The V&A Waterfront has set up a mega play park and petting zoo for the holidays.

Madame Zingara presents The Celebration Tour An invigorating sensory experience.

bump, baby & tot in tow – p34

how to help – p35

Pre- and postnatal yoga classes Assisting mothers-to-be with the changes through pregnancy.

Cape Town Angels They boost sustainable projects that empower people to become self-sufficient.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / Dr Ken Findlay / Adrian de Kock

wed

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 wednesday

3

Ends 23 August. Time: varies. Venue: Artscape Opera House. Cost: R95–R300.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695

fri

The Harlem Globetrotters perform in SA Showing a blend of athleticism, theatre and hoop skills. Also 2 July. Time: 7pm Wednesday, 2pm Thursday. Venue: Grand Arena, Grand West Entertainment World. Cost: R150–R650. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000

6 monday Fantastic Mr Fox at Artscape The show is adapted from the book by Roald Dahl.

Afterwards there is a special Mr Fox dressup parade. Ends 18 July. There is no show on 7 July. Time: 10:30am Monday– Saturday. Venue: Artscape Theatre Foyer.

Cost: R70. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or computicket.co.za

8 wednesday Disney on Ice presents Let’s Celebrate This ice show features Mickey Mouse, Alice and the Mad Hatter, Lilo and Stitch and many of the Disney villains and princesses.

Children are allowed to take a small cushion to place on the seat. Ends 12 July. Time: varies. Venue: Grand West Entertainment World. Cost: discount of R30 per ticket valid for bookings of four, five and six tickets in specifically priced categories.

Book through Computicket: computicket. co.za or for more info: disneyonice.co.za

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29 wednesday

Knysna Oyster Festival Parents have the oyster shucking and eating competitions, bubbly, oyster and chocolate experience, and whisky and jazz cruise to look forward to. There is also a night market, children’s cycle event, family dam bicycle ride, the FNB forest family hike and the young festival, which is offering sand art, face painting, crafts and a temporary tattoo booth. Ends 12 July. Time, venue and cost: varies, view the extensive programme online. For more info: oysterfestival.co.za

11 saturday Franschhoek Bastille Festival Highlights include the Franschhoek Boules Tournament, the Delta Valley Entertainers, the Porcupine Ridge barrel rolling competition and the farmers’ markets. Also 12 July. Time: 12pm–5pm. Venue: Food and Wine Marquee, Huguenot Monument, Franschhoek. Cost: R200. Book through webtickets.co.za or for more info: franschhoekbastille.co.za

18 saturday Chaeli Campaign Mandela Day Challenge A Mandela Day activity where

they encourage the public to #domore.

Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Blue Route Mall, Tokai. Cost: R67 to make three Hope bracelets (keep one, give one to a friend and donate the third back to the Chaeli Campaign). Contact: 0861 242 354, debbie@chaelicampaign.co.za or chaelicampaign.co.za

23 thursday West Side Story With a cast of 40, music supplied by the Cape Town Philharmonic Orchestra, and dynamic dance scenes, this iconic musical is a must-see for the family.

Deconstructed Gatsby gala dinner Funds raised go to The Sunflower Fund.

Dress code is “Sequins and Bow Tie”. Bow ties will be on sale on the night. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: City Hall. Cost: R800.

Contact: events@sunflowerfund.org.za or rasheda@sunflowerfund.org.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Barn Art 4 Kids at Spice Route The Barn Artist Studio Gallery offers fun canvas painting sessions for children from 7 years and older on weekends and holidays. Time: 11am–4:30pm. Venue: The Spice Route Destination, Paarl. Cost: from R140 for one hour and R200 for two hours. Contact: 082 313 0712 or spiceroute.co.za Connecting through Art This weekly art group focuses on self-expression. For 8–12 year olds. Time: 9am–10:15am Saturdays or 3:30pm–4:45pm Thursdays during term time. Venue: Frank Joubert Art Centre, Newlands. Cost: R140 per session, all art materials included.

Contact: 076 581 1794 or rebecca. solveig@gmail.com

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calendar Free introductory fabric painting workshop 25 July. Time: 8:45am–10:45am.

Venue: Pinelands. Cost: R40 for the kit.

Contact: 021 531 8076, 082 391 4954 or wendyadriaan@telkomsa.net Sue Nepgen’s children’s art classes The third term’s programme includes creative clay work, painting with inks and more. For 4–13 year olds. Starts 30 and 31 July, and 1 August. Time: held on Thursday and Friday afternoons and Saturday mornings. Venues: Michael Oak Waldorf School, Kenilworth or 28 Klaasenbosch Dr, Constantia. Cost: R685 per term, including materials and firing.

Contact: 021 794 6609, 083 237 7242 or snepgen@xsinet.co.za

more. For more info: 021 418 3823, schools@aquarium.co.za or aquarium.co.za

family outings Children’s freebies this winter at Cape Point Children get a free ride on the Flying Dutchman Funicular when accompanied by a paying adult, and a free children’s meal for every adult main course ordered at Two Oceans Restaurant. Ends 19 July.

Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Cape Point Nature Reserve. Cost: adult funicular ticket R55.

Contact: 021 780 9010 or capepoint.co.za

classes, talks and workshops Dance Dynamoz free trial class For 4–6 year olds. Time: varies. Venues: northern suburbs, southern suburbs, West Coast, Atlantic Seaboard, CBD, South Peninsula and Hout Bay. Cost: call or email for details.

Contact: 021 712 7656, fun@dancetotz. co.za or dancetotz.co.za Junior Super Chef competition Little Cooks Club, Hirsch and Defy are looking for the top Junior Super Chef. For 8–13 year olds. The cook-off is on 16 July. Time: 5:30pm. Venue: Hirsch’s Milnerton. Cost: free entry. Contact: headoffice@littlecooksclub. co.za or for info littlecooksclub.co.za Two Oceans Aquarium double deal Schools are invited to book a double lesson for R69 for a group of 10 or

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Whale and dolphin watching for groups A series of 90-minute talks about whale and dolphin watching.

Groups are invited to select a date in June, July or August.

Time: 10am–11:30am Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. Venue: Simon’s Town. Cost: R20, which includes educational material and refreshments. Contact: 079 391 2105 or awhaleofaheritageroute@ gmail.com

Tutankhamun – His Tomb and His Treasures Exhibition The tomb of Tutankhamun has been recreated to scale, and features over 1 000 reconstructed burial treasures. 2 June–27 September. Time: 9am–7pm Sunday–Thursday, 9am–9pm Friday and Saturday. Venue: SunExhibits Centre, GrandWest Casino, Goodwood.

Cost: adults R160, 6–18 year olds R100, children 5 years and younger free, special discounted family package of four tickets.

For more info: tut-exhibition.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Muizenberg moonlight meander Spend an evening walking in the light of a full moon on the Blue Flag Muizenberg Beach. 4 July. Time: 6pm. Venue: meet at Knead Bakery at Surfer’s Corner. Cost: free but donations to Safer Together welcome.

For more info: safertogether.org Table Mountain Cableway’s Kidz Season Special Enjoy amazing views, a treasure hunt and a winter café meal. For 4–17 year olds. Ends 31 October. Time: 8:30am–6pm. Venue: Table Mountain. Cost: R225 – two children ride free with every paying adult. Contact: info@tablemountain. net or tablemountain.net

holiday activities Artjamming holiday programme 29 June–10 July. Time: 10am–11:30am, Monday–Friday. Venues: V&A Waterfront

2 June–27 September – Tutankhamun – His Tomb and His Treasures Exhibition

and Willowbridge. Cost: R150 per workshop.

For more info: artjamming.co.za Biodiversity and Waste Art workshop Children learn about biodiversity and how waste is impacting it. They enjoy a guided walk outside and a craft activity. For Grades 4–6. 15 July. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Gold Fields Environmental Education Centre, Kirstenbosch. Cost: R60. Contact: 021 799 8676, 021 799 8822 or sanbi.org.za Children’s Circus holiday school 29 June–10 July. Time: 9am–12:30pm Monday–Friday. Venue: Western Province Park, Epping 2. Cost: R700 per child per week. Contact: 073 273 3538 or actionarte. nicky@gmail.com Claremont Library holiday programme Crafts include beading, dinosaur shapes, shadow puppets and more. Younger and older children are kept separate. 27 June–19 July.

Time: 2pm Mondays, 10:30am Wednesdays (after story time) and 2pm Fridays. Venue: Claremont Library, Wilderness Rd. Cost: free.

Contact: 021 673 2064 or claremont.library@ capetown.gov.za

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Clay Café school holiday painting A ceramic painting café and playground.

27 June–19 July. Time: 9am–5pm daily.

Venue: Clay Café, Main Rd, Hout Bay. Cost: R105 per person. Contact: 021 790 3318, info@claycafe.co.za or claycafe.co.za Cricket holiday clinic For 4–13 year olds. 29 June–2 July. Time: 9am–1pm.

Venue: Cricket School of Excellence, UCT Indoor Sports Centre. Cost: R600. Contact: 0861 123 273, adam@cricketschool.co.za or cricketschool.co.za Dramatots holiday workshop Includes puppet shows, dress-up, face painting, crafts and an acting activity. For children 3–6 years old. 29 June–2 July. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Atlantic Seaboard.

Cost: R1 200. Contact: 083 445 5978 or info@dramatots.co.za Headstart swimming clinic A oneon-one lesson in an indoor, heated pool for all ages and levels. 29 June–3 July and 13–17 July. Time: 20-minute slots from 8:30am–5:30pm. Venue: Headstart Swim School, Claremont. Cost: from R160 per clinic. Contact: 021 674 7681 or headstartswim@gmail.com Ice Xtreme Featuring a giant toboggan ride at 45m long and 4m high as well as a mini slide at 11m long for smaller children.

27 June–18 July. Time: 10am–7pm Monday– Saturday and 10am–5pm Sunday. Venue: CapeGate Shopping Centre, Brackenfell.

Cost: R50 for full rider and R25 for mini rider. For more info: capegatecentre.co.za

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Kidz Discovery Fun Factory Holiday Club They will enjoy bake and create sessions, ball games and dancing. Materials and snack included. 30 June–10 July for 2 to 6 year olds. The art club and Totchef classes for 4–10 year olds is on 1 and 8 July. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm. Venue: Kidz Discovery, The Drive, Camps Bay. Cost: from R150 for the day. Contact: 083 654 2494, info@ kidzdiscovery.co.za or kidzdiscovery.co.za Learn to swim A lesson a day for five to 10 days. For children 2 years and older.

28 June–10 July. Time: 15-minute time slots between 8am–2pm. Venue: Flippers Swim School, Observatory. Cost: R700 for 10 days or R350 for 5 days.

Contact: 021 447 0909, 083 747 9196, info@flippersswimschool.co.za or visit flippersswimschool.co.za Mindstorms Robotics workshop Work in teams to build and programme robots. For Grade 5–9. 1–3 July. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: The Annexe, South African National Gallery, St Johns St, CBD. Cost: R500 for three days. Contact: 021 448 8516, info@ortsacape.org.za or visit ortsacape.org.za Musical holiday stage school The Helen O’Grady Drama Academy teaches children dancing, singing and acting. At the end of the week they perform a showcase. For 5–18 years old. 13–17 July. Time: 9am–12pm.

Venue: The Athenaeum, Newlands. Cost: R1 000. Contact: 021 674 7478, info@ dramaafrica.com or dramaafrica.com

Sporting Chance soccer, rugby and hockey holiday clinics Children 4–5 years old do multisport and 6–13 year olds can choose between soccer, hockey and rugby.

29 June–3 July and 13–17 July. Time: 9am–11am (4–5 year olds) and 9am–12:30pm (6–13 year olds).

Venues: Constantia, Newlands, Bellville and Somerset West. Cost: from R480 for the week. Contact: admin@sportingchance.co.za or sportingchance.co.za

Nature’s Treasure Box art workshop For games, storytelling, an exploratory walk in the garden and crafts. For 6–9 year olds. 16 July. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Gold Fields Environmental Education Centre, Kirstenbosch. Cost: R60. Contact: 021 799 8676, 021 799 8822 or sanbi.org.za

Ratanga Junction season 10–19 July Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Century City.

Cost: R172 for above 1,3m, R130 for below 1,3m, R65 for a fun pass, R55 per Slingshot ride. For more info: ratanga.co.za Robotics and Aviation workshop Children learn to build and programme robots, learn what makes aeroplanes fly and explore the museum under supervision.

For Grade 1–4. 1–3 July. Time: 9am–12pm.

Venue: The Annexe, South African National Gallery, CBD. Cost: R500 for three days.

Contact: 021 448 8516, info@ortsacape. org.za or ortsacape.org.za Rock & Roll Winter Camp Monday: Crash Course Drums. Tuesday: Guitar Zero to Hero. Wednesday: Rock Star Vocals.

Thursdays: Sax 101 and Blazing Keys. For 6 years and older. 29 June–2 July and 13–16 July. Time: 10am–3pm (Thursday: Sax 10am–12:30pm, Keys 12:30pm–3pm).

Venue: School of Rock Claremont, Main Rd, Claremont. Cost: R400 per student per day, Thursday R200 per 2,5 hour session.

Contact: 021 671 9620, 082 412 7733 or claremont@schoolofrock.com Rocklands Petting Farm Children pet and feed some of the animals. There is a play and picnic area. Order picnic baskets a day in advance. There is a waterfall and braai area.

Time: 10am–5pm Monday–Friday, 9am–5pm Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Rocklands Farm, R43, Hermanus. Cost: R15 entry, R10 per animal snack pack. Contact: 076 319 7446 or rocklandspettingfarm.com

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calendar Rugby holiday clinic For 5–13 year olds. 13–16 July. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Rugby School of Excellence, Villagers FC. Cost: R550. Contact: info@therugbyschool. co.za or therugbyschool.co.za Rugbytots holiday camp For 2–7 year olds split into three age-specific classes.

6–10 July. Time: 9am. Venue: Constantia Christ Church. Cost: R325. Contact: steed@ rugbytots.co.za or rugbytots.co.za Showtime At The City The daily shows include either Tjiff & Tjaff, Kizzoo, Little Red Riding Hood or Spekkies The Squirrel.

The first 50 children per day will also gain a free book courtesy of CUM Books. 9–12 July. Time: 12pm–1pm daily. Venue: N1 City Mall food court. Cost: free. For more info: n1citymall.co.za Soccer holiday clinic 6–9 July. Time: 9am–12pm for 4–7 year olds (juniors) and 9am–1pm for 8–13 year olds (seniors).

Venue: UCT Indoor Sports Centre. Cost: R450–R500. Contact: 0861 123 273 or thesoccerschool.co.za

1, 8 and 15 July – The Ice Station’s snowman building

The Ice Station’s snowman building Take part in a snowman building competition.

Prizes are up for grabs for the best dressed snowman. Take plastic spades, buckets, gloves and decorations. 1, 8 and 15 July.

Time: 10am–12:30pm every Wednesday.

Venue: GrandWest Entertainment World, Goodwood. Cost: R10 per child excluding skate hire. For more info: icerink.co.za The Kids Cooking Club July holiday club There are two sessions daily. An outdoor play area and café are available.

For 3–15 year olds. 29 June–10 July. Time and cost: contact Taryn for details. Venue: Stodels, Constantia. Contact: 083 309 8024 or thekidscookingclub@gmail.com The Tumble Bear holiday programme Activities include cupcake decorating, dance, mosaicing, puppet/magic show.

Various themes per day include pyjama day, teddy bears picnic and dress-up. For 6 months–8 years old. 29 June–3 July and 13–17 July. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Lakeside. Cost: R100 per day or R450 per week; additional crafts R20 per craft.

Contact: 084 500 7071, 084 684 4563 or info@thetumblebeargymprogramme.co.za Tots n Pots winter holiday workshops A two-hour cooking and craft class plus lunch. For 2–12 year olds. Children under 6 years old must be accompanied by a parent. 15–19 June and 13–17 July. Time: 11am–1pm. Venue: Plumstead (address provided on booking). Cost: R160 per child. Contact: constantia@totsnpots.com Tyger Wizlab From robotics, brainteasers and interactive science to technology and design experiments for young and old.

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11 May–26 July. Time: 9am–7pm Monday– Saturday and 9am–5pm Sunday. Venue: Tyger Valley Shopping Centre arena. Cost: free entry, R20 per workshop excluding the Taste of Robotics workshop. To book: eventbrite.com Watershed Play Pad There is a tractor and push-bike park for 0–3 year olds, crafts and sand-art activities, mega slides, a jumping castle, a toddlers’ mini rollercoaster as well as daily shows. Face painters, balloon sculptors and carnival games entertain. A special Teen Pad is set up and there’s a petting zoo.

27 June–17 July. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: The Watershed, V&A Waterfront. Cost: R40 per child per day and R20 for petting zoo entry. For more info: waterfront.co.za

markets Bay Harbour Market The market hosts gigs, and has food, decor, vintage fashion, jewellery and more on offer. Time: 5pm–9pm every Friday and 9:30am–4pm every Saturday and Sunday. Venue: 31 Harbour Rd, Hout Bay. Cost: free entry. For more info: bayharbour.co.za City Bowl Winter Market Enjoy the live music while you shop. Time: 8am–1pm every Saturday. Venue: Hope St, Gardens.

Cost: free entry. Contact: citybowlmarket@ gmail.com Durbanville Craft Market Quality art, crafts, books, food, and an art gallery. Time: 8:30am–2pm every first Saturday of the month. Venue: Rust-en-Vrede, Durbanville.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 072 173 1040 or durbanvillecraftmarket@gmail.com Elkanah House Schoolyard Market 25 July. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Elkanah House High School, 85 Sunningdale Dr, Sunningdale. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 554 8586, michellej@elkanah.co.za or elkanah.co.za The Good Night Market 29 July. Time: 6pm–9pm. Venue: Watershed, 17 Dock Rd, V&A Waterfront. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 408 7840 or waterfront.co.za The Range food market Enjoy the topquality food vendors, wine, craft beers, children’s activities and live entertainment.

Time: 4:30pm–9:30pm every Friday.

Venue: The Range, Orpen Rd, Tokai. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 713 2340, info@ therange.co.za or therange.co.za

on stage and screen Goldilocks and the Three Bears This delightful children’s classic follows the adventure of Goldilocks in the forest before her birthday. 1–11 July. Time: 10am. Venue: Nassau Theatre, Newlands. Cost: R60. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000

1–11 July – Goldilocks and the Three Bears

magazine cape town

Meet the Gruffalo at Reader’s Warehouse Children can meet the Gruffalo at Reader’s Warehouse, listen to a story, enjoy colouring-in and receive Gruffalo stickers and a balloon. For 2–6 year olds. 18 and 25 July. Time: 10am–11am.

Venues: Kloof Street branch (18 July) and Tokai branch (25 July). Cost: free. For more info: readerswarehouse.co.za

Canal Walk’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs The show has breathtaking sets and costumes, and memorable songs. For children 3 years and older, accompanied by an adult.

27 June–19 July. Time: 11am, 12:30pm and 2pm, Tuesday– Sunday. Venue: centre court, Canal Walk Shopping Centre. Cost: R75.

Contact: 021 529 9799

How Stories Began A theatrical retelling of this traditional Zulu folktale. 29 June–3 July.

Time: 10am–12pm daily with a performance and workshop for children 4 years and older.

Venue: Masque Theatre, Muizenberg. Cost: R70 for the show; workshop free. Contact: 021 788 1898, bookings@masquetheatre. co.za or jungletheatre.co.za Minions premieres 10 July This animated adventure explains how the small, yellow creatures we know and love as Minions came to be. Showing at major cinemas countrywide. For more info: sterkinekor. com or numetro.co.za The Three Little Pigs This delightful children’s classic takes place in the Karoo where the three little pigs leave their farm to build houses of their own. 14–18 July. Time: 10am. Venue: Baxter Theatre. Cost: R60.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 Tsum Tsum premieres 18 July on Disney Channel Disney Tsum Tsums are a craze that’s sweeping the world. A range of collectible plushes or soft toys based on popular Disney characters, which can be stacked. Now there is a series of animated shorts featuring these, the first of which premieres on Disney Channel at 4:55pm

playtime and story time Blasters Enjoy a meal while the children play, or drop them off while you do your shopping. Blasters has hi-tech electronic tagging to ensure each child’s safety. There is a soft play area for 0–3 year olds and a play area for 4–12 years old. Time: 9am–10pm Monday–Saturday and 9am–6pm Sunday.

Venue: Cape Gate Décor Centre, Nitida Ave, Kleinbron Park, Brackenfell. Cost: adults free, children 4 years and older R40, children under 4 years old R30. Contact: 021 981 7555 or blasters.co.za Book Lounge story time Themed storytelling followed by an activity every Saturday. Time: 11am. Venue: 71 Roeland St, Gardens. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 462 2425 or booklounge@gmail.com magazine cape town

18 and 25 July – Meet the Gruffalo at Reader’s Warehouse

Saved by the Dogs A unique opportunity to spend a little time with Tears’ dogs and puppies. 15 July. Time 11am–2pm. Venue: The Company’s Garden, CBD. Cost: free.

Contact: 021 785 4482, 061 722 7903 or tears.org.za

sport and physical activities Warwick Adventure Trail run There is a 5km, 10km or 15km option with play areas, catering, picnics, wine tasting and scenery to enjoy. For children 8 years and older.

5 July. Time: from 9am. Venue: Warwick Wine Estate, R44 near Stellenbosch. Cost: R70–R140 depending on distance and date of entry. Contact: 021 884 4752, info@ dirtopia.co.za or dirtopia.co.za Yoga, craft and relaxation workshop Playful yoga postures and games, ending with relaxation and craft work. For 5–12 year olds. 30 June–2 July. Time: 1pm–3pm.

Venue: Lila Health and Wellbeing, 7 Beckham St. Cost: R540 for all three afternoons (sibling discount applies). Contact: 083 377 9248 or info@lila-healthandwellbeing.com

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Anglo-Boer War concentration camps talk The Cape Natural History Club hosts this talk by Elizabeth von Heyningen. It looks at everyday life in the concentration camps, as the people struggled to retain their identities in the face of the new ways introduced by the British. 24 July. Time: 8pm. Venue: The Athenaeum, Newlands.

Cost: R20. Contact: 021 782 1620 or capenaturalhistoryclub.co.za Child Meditation and Mindful Living workshop The workshop teaches adults how to coach school-going children to manage and counteract the effects of stress with techniques suitable for home and in the classroom. 4 and 5 July. Time: 10:30am–4pm. Venue: The Zen Studio, 10 Viola Rd, Blouberg. Cost: R2 300. Contact: 072 645 2984, mindfullivingacademy@ gmail.com or mindfullivingacademy.com July 2015

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calendar

3

Joan Armatrading Live

fri

New and devoted fans will enjoy a musical voyage spanning Joan Armatrading’s

entire

career

and the many genres she has mastered including pop, blues, folk, reggae and jazz. 3 July.

Time: 8pm. Venue: CTICC. Cost: R450–R650. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or computicket.co.za

Chilton short course in childcare For au pairs and nannies, covering routine, setting up age-appropriate activities for children, early childhood development, nutrition, and first aid and CPR. 7–10 July. Time: 9am–12pm daily. Venue: Chilton College, The Scalabrini Centre, 47 Commercial St, CBD. Cost: R1 300.

Contact: 079 842 6599, chiltontraining@ gmail.com or chiltonaupairs.co.za One&Only guest speaker series Enjoy a talk followed by a buffet dinner at Reuben’s.

In July Braam Malherbe defines the difference between success and significance. He has run the length of the Great Wall of China, the 3 200km coastline of South Africa and raced 768km to the South Pole. 14 July. Time: 6pm. Venue: One&Only Cape Town. Cost: R295. Contact: 021 431 4511 or restaurant. reservations@oneandonlycapetown.com

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July 2015

Madame Zingara presents The Celebration Tour An invigorating sensory experience, staged in a new, opulent, three-storey mirrored spiegel tent on the Grand Parade. The show, with acts from 16 countries, showcases Madame Zingara as never seen before. Opens 7 July. Venue: The Grand Parade. Cost: from R550, this includes a four-course dinner with canapés and a welcome drink. Contact: 0861 623 263 or boxoffice@madamezingara.com

out and about Winter Brilliance walks with Kirstenbosch Join special themed walks with garden guides on Saturday mornings.

18 July: Dotty and Spotty Aloes by Jenny Mountain. 25 July: Roaming through Rutaceae to enjoy the buchu’s scent by Natie Finkelstein. Time: 9:30am–11am.

Venue: gate one, Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden. Cost: free, but garden entry fees apply. Contact: 021 799 8783 or kirstenboschinfo@sanbi.org.za

on stage and screen A Spartacus of Africa Watch a cast of 100 dancers moving to the sounds of a 70-strong orchestra. 27 June–12 July. Time: varies. Venue: Artscape Theatre. Cost: R150–R375. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695

Barnard Gallery Stay in touch with the Barnard to stay abreast of their plans for upcoming exhibitions. Their focus is on local and international contemporary fine artists. Time: 9am–5pm Monday– Friday. Venue: 55 Main St, Newlands.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 671 1553 or barnardgallery.com Dinner in aid of children with CHD (congenital heart defects) There is entertainment by musician Larry Joe, and actor and comedy magician Charles Tertiens. Dress code is smart casual. 27 June. Time: 6pm. Venue: Nico Malan Hall, Groote Schuur Hospital.

Cost: R180. Contact: 073 279 6439 or 078 074 1364 Pancake and wine pairing 25 July.

Time: two sittings – 11am and 2pm.

Venue: Uitkyk, R44 between Stellenbosch and Paarl. Cost: R95. Contact: 021 884 4416 or info@uitkyk.co.za

support groups Dyspraxia South Africa A support group for parents and/or caregivers who have children dealing with dyspraxia.

Contact: info@dyspraxiasouthafrica.co.za or dyspraxiasouthafrica.co.za LGBTI Parents Meetings for LGBTI Parents.

Contact Heather for info. Venue: Triangle Project, 2nd floor Elta House, 3 Caledonian Rd, Mowbray. Contact: 021 686 1475, health2@triangle.org.za or triangle.org

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Dance Totz free trial class For 18 months–3 year olds. Time: varies. Venues: northern suburbs, southern suburbs, West Coast, Atlantic Seaboard, CBD, South Peninsula and Hout Bay. Cost: call or email to enquire. Contact: 021 712 7656, fun@dancetotz.co.za or dancetotz.co.za Family and Friends CPR 4 July. Time: 9am.

Venue: Constantia Mediclinic, Burnham Rd, Plumstead. Cost: R270 for three hours and R320 for four hours, including paediatric first aid. Contact: 021 705 6459, training@ pec.co.za or pec.co.za Pre- and postnatal yoga classes Time: 5pm Tuesday and 10:30am Thursday. Venue: Lila Health and Wellbeing, cnr Beckham St and Kloof St. Cost: R380 for five classes, R700 for 10 classes. Contact: 083 377 9248 or info@lila-healthandwellbeing.com

magazine cape town

27 July – Toptots

playtime and story time Groovy Adventurer Programme playdate A fun, sensory play-based get together for babies, toddlers and carers.

18 July. Time: enquire. Venue: Table View.

Cost: free. Contact: 083 617 6180 or gapsunningdale@gmail.com Moms and Tots With babies or toddlers.

Meet in a relaxed environment for support and encouragement while building relationships.

The children can play in a safe environment.

Term starts 23 July. Time: 9:30am–11am every Thursday. Venue: St Barnabas Church Hall, Kloof Nek Rd. Cost: free. Contact: 083 640 6204 or 072 341 8261 Teddy Tennis at The Glen Country Club Tennis for children aged 2,5– 7 years old accompanied by music. Time:

Monday–Friday afternoons. Venue: The Glen Country Club, Clifton. For costs and more info, contact: 083 679 0731, mark@ teddytennis.com or teddytennis.com Toptots Activities include creative messy play, perceptual development, massage, sensory motor activities, fine motor activities and a music programme for moms and children 8 weeks to 4 years old. Term starts 27 July. Time: 9:30am and 3pm. Venue: 74 Ranelagh Rd, Claremont.

Cost: R1 100 per term. Contact: 079 248 8083, lisam@toptots.co.za or toptots.co.za Wriggle and Rhyme holiday classes Fun, stimulating music classes for parents or carers with babies or toddlers from 6–18 months and 18 months–3 years old. Classes run on various days during the holidays – enquire for more info. Time: varies. Venues: Constantiaberg or Fish Hoek. Contact Constantiaberg: 073 204 1523, Fish Hoek: 073 143 8439 or wriggleandrhyme.co.za

support groups The Parent Centre Moms Circle groups For moms-to-be and moms with babies up to 1 year old. Like The Parent Centre Facebook page to find weekly programmes.

Time and venues: 10:30am–12:30pm every Tuesday at Mediclinic Cape Town and 10am–12pm every Thursday at Mediclinic Constantiaberg. Cost: R50, including refreshments. Contact: 021 762 0116, reception@theparentcentre.org.za or theparentcentre.org.za

how to help Cape Town Angels The team boosts sustainable development projects that empower people to become self-sufficient.

If you believe in active volunteerism and would like to be on the mailing list to respond to a call to action when angels are needed to share the “magic of compassion” with others, please email your contact details to volunteer@ctangels.co.za Mandela Drive The Philippi Children’s Centre needs warm clothing and blankets.

20–24 July. Drop items off at one of the following schools at 7:30am–5:30pm Monday–Friday: Montessori Connect Nutwood Forest, Braemar Rd, Green Point.

Contact: 021 439 4874 or nutwood.adm@ mweb.co.za; 7:30am–5:30pm Monday– Friday: Montessori Connect Children’s Workshop, Belvedere Rd, Claremont.

Contact: 021 671 7538, childwork@mweb. co.za; 6:30am–6pm Monday–Friday: Montessori Connect Sunridge, Eagle Crescent, Table View. Contact: 021 556 4119 or mcsunridge@mweb.co.za

Volunteer your 67 minutes with Harvest of Hope Celebrate Mandela Day by volunteering at Harvest of Hope. Plant, water and feed plants. 18 July. Booking essential. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Moya We Khaya Garden Centre, Manyanani Peace Park, Khayelitsha. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 021 371 3386 or fieldworkteam@ abalimi.org.za

Volunteer your 67 minutes with Harvest of Hope

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to capetown@childmag.co.za or fax it to 021 462 2680. Information must be received by 3 July for the August issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

family marketplace

magazine cape town

July 2015

35

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

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July 2015

magazine cape town

magazine cape town

July 2015

37

finishing touch

t

he email lands in my inbox, and a quick glance at the subject strikes fear into my heart. I see the words “Please make a…” and I can’t read further. To say I am creatively challenged is putting it mildly – I got a G for needlework in Std 7. So the call for me to make something for my child’s school rates up there on the “painometer” with a root canal or bikini wax. I’m not short on ideas – Pinterest has been a lifesaver in that department – but it’s just the execution that has me somewhat flummoxed. I don’t know how many times my husband, Craig, has found me in tears, with my fingers glued together and smears of paint on my cheek, staring at a dismal blob of papier-mâché lying forlornly on the floor. It’s so bad, when I announce that I am about to tackle a craft of some sort, Craig will suddenly discover several odd jobs, way on the other side of the house, that need to be done urgently.

I had to outsource the making of the Easter bonnet. After the fiasco of the fallen eggs of the previous year, there was no way that I could send Erin to school again in a straw hat adorned with three chocolate eggs stuck with Prestik to the brim.

And don’t even get me started on baking cakes – that’s a whole other world of pain.

I look in awe at the pics posted by crafty

38

July 2015

ANÉL LEWIS wants to run a mile every time she has to make something creative for her daughter, but she has come to appreciate the time they spend together on projects.

Erin, Anél and Conor

moms on Facebook of the things they have made – beanies in the shape of popular TV characters, beautiful fairy costumes, and cakes in the shape of boats and butterflies.

The last time I made cupcakes, I swear you could see the neon-pink icing from

space. And after the party, I found several discarded cupcakes in the pot plants outside, which is never a good sign.

Needless to say, I’ve never tackled an actual birthday cake. Unless the children are thinking of having a log party (I can

just about rustle up a loaf-sized yoghurt cake), homemade confectionery is just not an option.

But for children, the process is usually more important than a fancy outcome.

They don’t really mind that your Easter bonnet resembles something a hobbit would wear to a tea party. They just love being involved in the creation of something. I’m seeing this with Erin, as we prepare for her first market day at school. She’s so excited about the paint and the stickers we will use for the items we are making together. And while she is learning valuable lessons about supply and demand and the value of money, I am learning the value of enjoying the creative process without worrying about the outcome.

We don’t have to make something that could win first prize in an art show, or get 1 000 likes on Facebook. It’s about spending time together doing something creative. But I’m not giving up on my premade cake mixes just yet.

Anél Lewis has joined a few crafters’ groups on Facebook for inspiration and has started collecting old magazines in case she needs to make a piňata for Erin’s next birthday party.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: Susie Leblond Photography

art attack

books

a good

read

toddlers

early graders

preschoolers

Bumper Magnets: 6 Friends have Fun on the Farm!

By Brenda Apsley and Marie Allan

The Castle of Cupcakes

By Lynn Bedford Hall and Jane Heinrichs

Superworm

By Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler

The Egg Thieves

By Joan Lingard

(Published by Human and Rousseau, R143) Children aged three to six years old will love this interactive story where they decide which animal character will take part in every activity. The book comes with six soft and thick magnets that attach to certain areas on each page. Sheep, pony, pig, dog, cow or goat? Which of Billy the bull’s friends are strong enough to help him with his secret plan? Choose bumper picture magnets to complete the pages, then detach and play again.

(Published by Struik Lifestyle, R65) In this book, Mattie, the little girl who enters the secret dream world of animals every night, joins in the creatures’ Baby Show. Every animal mother wants her babies to be the prettiest and win the grand prize, which is a magnificent cupcake castle. But a nasty, greedy buffalo charges into the party and spoils all the fun. Once again, Mattie saves the day, and the show ends with a wonderfully happy celebration.

(Published by Scholastic, R127) In this winner of The Red House Book Award, children up to the age of five years old will meet Superworm. He is not your ordinary hero with massive muscles. Nope: he’s super-skinny, but not weedy at all.

When trouble strikes, this brave worm can turn into a life-saving rope. Or squiggle to the rescue in really tiny spaces. Julia Donaldson’s bouncy rhymes and Axel Scheffler’s jolly art contribute to children loving the super-helpful Superworm.

(Published by Catnip Publishing, R98) Everyone in Lecky Grant’s village is furious when precious eggs are stolen from an osprey nest. Lecky and his friend, Nora, are determined that the culprits don’t strike again, but are they looking for them in the right place? They build a hide and keep a close watch on anything suspicious in their village. They begin to suspect the local handyman, but spot the real culprits just in time. This is a charming story for young readers from an award-winning author.

preteens and teens

parenting

early graders Body Works

By Anna Claybourne (Published by Random House Struik, R106) How do we see, hear and smell? How do our muscles enable us to move?

Why is blood red? With Body Works children won’t only be able to answer these questions about the human body, but they’ll also have tons of fun learning.

Filled with interesting facts and fun activities, Body Works is the ideal gift for young anatomy enthusiasts. A young reader can easily navigate the book by using the four sections as a guide.

The author uses informal and easy-tounderstand language that will keep even the youngest readers interested.

101 Great Science Experiments

By Neil Ardley (Published by Dorling Kindersley, R156) Make science fun with 101 exciting stepby-step experiments that are safe and easy to do at home. Science writer Neil Ardley shows how you can use everyday objects to discover the basic principles of science and understand how these apply to the world around you. So, if you want to make a volcano erupt, see around corners, find out how your eyes work, or build an electromagnet, this fascinating book for children from the age of 10 years old will show you how. Experiments are sorted in 11 categories, including liquids, electricity, and motion and the senses. Illustrated steps make projects easy and fun.

Birdseye

By Máire Fisher

for us

(Published by Umuzi, R210) As children growing up at Marchbanks, an imposing mansion built high on a hill above a Cape seaside town, Bird and her five siblings love to hear the story of how their father wooed their mother, but they don’t know much about the past of their reclusive grandmother, Ma Bess, who rules Marchbanks from its shadows and keeps her stories firmly locked in her cold heart.

When Bird’s 10-year-old twin brothers, Oliver and Oscar, go missing after a day of fishing, Bird appoints herself the family scribe and begins writing to the brothers she refuses to believe are gone for good.

Everyday Blessings

By Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn (Published by Little Brown Book Group, R205) This practical book offers a clear outline for people who want to understand and embrace mindful parenting. It is one of the few books on parenting that embraces the emotional, intuitive and deeply personal experience of being a parent and shows you how to apply the practice of mindfulness meditation to parenting children of all ages. By encouraging moment-tomoment awareness and acceptance, this book will help you grow in compassion, enrich your life as a parent and nourish the internal life of your children.