Child Magazine | Cape Town June 2013

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

the

parenting issue taking the competitive edge off parenting treating anxiety disorders in children

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June 2013

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health

alpine fun – a family tackles the slopes dads do dinner – winter-warming recipes

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Hunter House PUB L IS H ING

They say that parenting is not for sissies, but add “working mom” to the equation and it gets that little bit trickier.

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za Alys Suter • studio2@childmag.co.za Mariette Barkhuizen • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Lisa Waterloo • waterloo@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: BROOKE FASANI

Helen Xavier • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

As I write this, I’m on the plane returning from a business trip. I have just finished reading I’m Missing News by Katy Katopodis, a book about working moms in search of balance – the irony does not escape me. I try to keep my trips short, but when I leave I know it’s just a matter of time before my phone will ring with my youngest complaining that “Dad is so mean”. And so begins her recurring moan, which fuels my growing guilt that I have abandoned

my children yet again. You’d think that by the age of 11 Robyn would have outgrown wailing, but even my 18 year old is a wailer of note. Julian’s latest rant is that I was always at work and unable to study with her when she was younger, but am now able to spend hours helping her sister master the art of trappe van vergelyking, ensovoorts.

I remind her that she wrote her first exam as an almost independent Grade 7 learner, while Robyn did her first in Grade 4.

Parenting during exam time can be especially tough and while I understand that Julian has grounds for feeling slightly hard done by, her real frustration is the looming midyear matric exams. It’s easier to vent at Mom than to sit down and study.

But I still feel guilty. I went back to work when she was only two weeks old so that she would have the best education I could afford, and she has done so much with the

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opportunities given to her. So wail away, I say to her – you have been (provisionally) accepted to a great university, which is a triumph for you and for me. *Note to features editor – run article on successfully dealing with a mother’s guilt.

In our parenting issue this month, we look at some of the weighty issues we encounter as we raise our children; such as managing panic attacks, knowing our children’s legal rights and dealing with other parents who feel the need to compete.

We also include some hearty winter recipes from dads, for the special men in our lives. Happy Father’s Day, especially to my husband who is left to carry the can (and deal with the girls’ moaning) when I am away.

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June 2013

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contents

june 2013

upfront

10 pregnancy news – fight the flu Marina Zietsman explains why pregnant women need the flu vaccine

3 a note from lisa 6 over to you readers respond 7 reader’s blog Anton Ressel says toddlers have their own distinct language

features

11 best for baby – tried and tested Lisa Witepski weighs up a few babyrelated theories

12 dealing with difference panic attacks can be frightening for a child.

By Marc de Chazal

26 resource – online time-savers

14 keeping score are you pushing your child to be successful? Jennifer Stastny looks at competitive parenting

16 delicious dishes for dads Child magazine asks four foodie dads to share their favourite winter recipe

20 children have rights too Lindsay Herman looks at legal protection for minors

22 snow patrol Lisa Mc Namara and her family hit the pistes of the French Alps

health

Child magazine recommends apps and websites to make parenting a bit easier

28 a good read new books for the whole family

30 what’s on in june 42 finishing touch Anél Lewis says parenting can sometimes be as exhausting as running a marathon

classified ads 37 family marketplace 38 let’s party

9 an unnatural high avoid beverages with stimulants. By Vanessa Papas

regulars 8 upfront with paul your child will reach a point where they want to earn their own money. Encourage it, says Paul Kerton

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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June 2013

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

Colleen Sevitz Photography colleensevitz.co.za

Alexis Diack Photography alexisdiack.com

Tasha Seccombe Photography tashaseccombe.com

Daena Chanel Photography daenachanel.com

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June 2013

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letters

best for baby It is with great disappointment that I read your article “baby blessings” in your May 2013 issue. Here is my response: 1. To start the list with prepared formula shows a failure to take into account that only one to three percent of women truly cannot breast-feed. Choosing to formula-feed means putting one’s baby’s health at risk.

Breast-feeding is the only feeding method babies have been designed for. Formulafeeding should, according to the World Health Organisation, only be used as a very last resort. 2. An all-in-one wet wipe and bum cream dispenser sounds very gimmicky.

I have never heard any parent complain that it is difficult to do a nappy change without such a hands-free gadget. 3. A sleeping bag does have its uses, but one should also keep in mind that sleep-sharing is an excellent way of taking care of your baby’s nighttime needs. 4. Soothers: while a teething ring or teething object is definitely useful, a baby who sleeps with his mother and/or is allowed to fall asleep and be soothed at the breast will not need a special blanket or object for comfort. Frequent suckling, both for comfort and for food, is important to ensure an adequate milk supply. 5. Anti-colic bottles: most babies outgrow their colic or fussiness by the age of three months so mothers will not need to introduce these bottles. 6. A bath time kneeler pad: I am sure a pillow or folded towel will do the job just as well. Alternatively, there is the option of bathing baby with mom or dad, which is an opportunity for bonding and skin-to-skin contact. 7. A nipple shield can be used to overcome certain breast-feeding problems in a handful of cases, but it has the potential of causing more problems than solving

over to you

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

formula was my only option

thanks to Child mag

One of the first things one learns as an expectant mother is that you should try to breast-feed for as long as possible. This is reiterated throughout your pregnancy, and enforced when you give birth. So I tried my best to breast-feed. After a couple of days in hospital where my breasts were manipulated (rather painfully and with much embarrassment for me) by countless nurses who each tried to teach me their preferred position for my baby to latch, I was sent home. My baby did not stop crying, would not latch and started to lose weight. I also could not stop crying, as I felt like a complete failure. We brought in a midwife and a lactation expert, who tried to help. But after a further three days, I had expressed less than 10ml of breast milk. I eventually admitted defeat and put my baby onto formula. But I felt so guilty when I went to the clinic and was one of only a handful of moms who whipped out a bottle, and not a breast, to feed my baby.

I find it sad that we are so judgemental of moms who try to breast-feed, but cannot for whatever reason. So it was with interest that I read in your May issue that nipple shields were a saving grace for the moms you spoke to. In ardent pro-breast-feeding circles, a mere mention of anything that could make a mom’s life easier when it comes to feeding is taboo. We should remember that while breast milk is preferred, it’s not the only option. The goal should surely be to have a healthy baby, and a happy mom who knows that she’s doing the best that she can.

Sheryl

I just want to say a big thank you to Child magazine. As an au pair now for many years, Child magazine is my hero. No matter what age group I am looking after, there is something helpful in every issue. I spent two years in America recently as an au pair and missed the easy access to activities, parties, and helpful hints that your magazine provides.

Smon

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them. A mother will be well advised to only consider using a nipple shield once she has consulted a professional. 8. Baby slings and carriers are the one item with which I agree 100 percent. It keeps your baby happy, facilitates bonding, makes mom’s life a lot easier, helps to soothe a colicky baby, it saves space and is easier to carry around than a pram. You could have rather mentioned a good car seat that complies with all the safety standards.

Ena du Plessis Childmag says Your comments and suggestions are all valid, but our article was a look at the non-essential, but nice-to-have items that make parenting in the first few months a bit easier. A car seat, as you suggest, should be an essential item that we hope every parent would buy to keep his or her baby safe in transit.

We spoke to quite a few parents and these were some of the items that cropped up. Of course, breast-feeding is best, but there are women who do struggle, or who express because they have to return to work. We found that quite a few moms (and in fact in this case, a dad) felt the anti-colic bottles to be useful. If you have followed Child magazine over the past 10 years, you will know that we have never promoted formulafeeding over breast-feeding. However, we do believe in providing information in a non-judgmental manner; allowing our readers to make their own choices depending on their circumstances and needs. An article like this is naturally subjective, as it is based on the opinions of the parents who shared some of their preferred gadgets. We welcome hearing what else may have worked for other parents.

June 2013

it’s party time Thank you for such a well-timed article (“let’s celebrate”, May 2013), coming right before my daughter’s ninth birthday party. Here’s another suggestion for a party: the frozen chocolate bar. Freeze a block of chocolate and let the children try and eat it with a knife and fork, while throwing dice. Whoever throws doubles gets to start eating until somebody else throws a double and takes over. They have to put on gloves and a scarf before they can attempt to cut the chocolate.

Pippa

good advice, but…

I read the letter from Derrick Merber (“advice from yesteryear”, May 2013) with his remedy for easing teething issues. Maybe it works, and I would have liked to use it, but is it allowed? I’m sure he only meant for parents to rub a baby’s gums with alcohol, but what would happen if the alcohol was ingested by that little

body? If caught, the parent would surely be arrested? I would love to get more advice on dealing with a fever and whooping cough.

Kgomotso Boikanyo

growing up too soon I am quite fascinated by all the pamper parties offered to young girls. What are the parents going to plan when these little ones turn 21 years old? Every day I see girls as young as Grade R level demanding iPads because they have behaved well or as a birthday present. Will their husbands be able to provide for all their demands one day? Entitlement and greed seem to drive these little girls to compete and outshine each other.

Lilian Demetriou

just a mom I read Anél Lewis’ “finishing touch” (“again, again”, May 2013) and it’s as if she wrote a snippet of my life. I have a three year old and an 11 month old and it’s good to know I’m not the only mom who feels a little guilty at times for not paying enough attention to her children.

Tammi subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competition.

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We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

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reader’s blog

the bissiks are fint Conversations with a two year old will challenge your linguistic skills and expose you to a whole new world of words, says ANTON RESSEL.

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

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here are a lot of things they don’t tell you about becoming a parent. Sure, you are warned about the obvious stuff, like sleepless nights and the joys of changing nappies, but for some reason there are some rather important things that seldom get mentioned upfront. For example, no one ever told me that upon becoming a father, my linguistic skills would be changed forever. In fact, by the time my third son was born I could speak and understand a whole new language, one for which I have no name but a clear vocabulary and set of linguistic rules, some of which I will share with you here.

Please note that this language is not the same as the obligatory “goo-goo ga-ga” style of discourse so favoured by seldom-seen aunts and other annoying types. This is an actual language with proper words, tone, inflection and a pedigree stretching back to the time when man first learnt to communicate with other men… and toddlers. First comes the adoption of a strange, lilting accent, characterised by a tendency to end each sentence in a higher note.

Secondly, one finds oneself adding –ie or –y to just about every word possible, as in “Do you want some cakey?” This tenet even extends to names. My boys are

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known as Taney, Lairdy and Heathie, and even though my wife swore that she would never sully their carefully chosen names in such a fashion, she cannot help herself either. I hope that as they grow older we will revert back to their proper names, but I’m not overly confident of this.

Look at the Australians; they never grow out of this habit – Warnie, barbie, footie.

Thirdly, you instinctively start to comprehend the meaning of words that those without children would not understand. When my youngest asked me for a “bissik”, I immediately knew that he really wanted a biscuit, which is not such a stretch in itself as the words are quite similar. The weird thing is that I now also call biscuits “bissiks”, and the new word seems to suit the subject matter just as well if not better than the old one.

Then there are the words that all three of my boys have adapted for ease of pronunciation, as they have progressed through the early days of their linguistic journey. These include such timeless gems as “lellow” for yellow and “fint” for finished. The psychology behind this new language, and the willingness of grown people to talk like two year olds, is quite understandable.

Whether right or not, we feel like we are communicating

better and more appropriately with our little ones when we use sentences like, “The bissiks are fint Heathie, rather have some of your bottie and then you can have a doods with bunny and blankie.”

All I can be thankful for is that this toddler language does seem to be something that children grow out of, as attested by my nine year old, who has a voracious appetite for books and a wonderful vocabulary that shows no traces of the language of his earlier years. Except, of course, when he is conversing with his two-year-old brother, in which case he sounds just like Forrest Gump.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

June 2013

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upfront with paul

not just a job Your children’s first foray into the workplace will teach them responsibility, as well as the value of earning their own money. By PAUL KERTON

y

ou know your children are growing up when they want to get a weekend or holiday job, outside of the family home. It’s okay to get them to clean their room, sweep the patio or make breakfast to earn their pocket money, but real work as in the broader, arrive-on-time, do-what-you’re-told and put-your-backinto-it variety, is a very different beast.

One has to tread carefully when using the words “work” and “children” together.

It’s a notion charged with high emotion, conflicting opinions and a minefield of legalese, and it can elicit cautionary and scary buzzwords like “exploitation”.

I have friends whose children have been appearing regularly in TV advertisements since they were four years old and who make more money than their parents.

This sometimes involves hanging about

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June 2013

a film studio for days, after being carted from casting to casting, on top of a full school schedule.

There comes a time when children are gripped by a primeval urge to go and experience what the workplace has to offer. And that isn’t a bad thing. They want to exert their individuality, show responsibility, experience the camaraderie and politics of the workplace and mix with grown-ups other than their parents.

But above all, they want to make their own money – admirable motivations. And in return, work teaches them discipline, accountability, social skills and gives them a sense of values, realising how hard it is to make money basically.

My daughters have spent ages and a small fortune making cookies, cards and “fashions” to sell in the neighbourhood

or at school. The Scouts and Girl Guides have always encouraged light work for nominal pay during what used to be called “bob-a-job week” to earn money for charity. But one’s first real job is invariably mundane – washing up, cleaning, waiting on tables or baby-sitting. Everyone has to start somewhere, even celebrities.

Nicolas Cage started off selling popcorn, Jennifer Aniston was a telemarketer, Gwen Stefani waitressed, Mick Jagger was a hospital porter, Rod Stewart worked as a gravedigger and Whoopi Goldberg was a bricklayer.

My first weekend job was washing up at a famous café called Betty’s, in the north of England. It was hot, sweaty and chaotic in the kitchen but I felt satisfied at the end of the day when everything was finished, and I collected my meagre wage packet.

The best advice is to steer your children towards something they are interested in.

If your daughter likes fashion try and get her into a clothing shop or designer’s studio. If your son loves golf get him caddying at the local club. The rewards can be great.

As a student I split my three-month summer holiday into two parts. For the first six weeks I worked 12-hour night shifts at a local paper mill cutting enormous five-metre, two-ton rolls of paper into manageable sizes using dangerous lifting and cutting machinery. It was pure agony but the money was substantial.

Then I spent the next six weeks, and all the money I had made, running around Europe on a rail pass, which was pure, unadulterated joy. Work works.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

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PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

health

i

n terms of new legislation that came into effect in March, energy and sports drinks must carry the warning: not recommended for children under the age of 12. Gauteng-based dietician Wendy Lord says it’s a caution that is long overdue. “There is a difference between sports drinks and energy drinks. Sports drinks are designed to replenish fluids lost during activity and typically contain water, electrolytes, carbohydrates and sugar while energy drinks have added caffeine and other ingredients to increase stamina and ‘boost’ performance. Both, however, aren’t suitable for children as they contain stimulants that are harmful to a child’s development,” says Wendy.

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

stay away from stimulants “The majority of energy drinks contain high levels of caffeine, which medical experts classify as a ‘drug’. It is recommended that children consume less than 2,5mg of caffeine per kilogram of body weight a day. A child that weighs 40kg for example should not consume more than 100mg of caffeine per day. One cola drink contains 32mg of caffeine, a cup of instant coffee has 100mg, one bar of chocolate has 50mg and one bottle of an energy drink has 80mg – almost as much caffeine as a child should drink in a day. Add a chocolate bar or a cup of hot chocolate and the amount of caffeine exceeds the recommended daily limit.”

Energy drinks also contain guarana, ginseng, taurine and B vitamins. At typical doses, the caffeine in guarana can cause insomnia, nervousness and restlessness, stomach irritation, nausea, vomiting, increased heart rate and blood pressure, rapid breathing, tremors, delirium, and diuresis (excessive urine production). Large doses might cause headaches, anxiety, agitation, ringing in the ears, pain when urinating, stomach cramps and irregular heartbeats.

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an unnatural high We know that some soft drinks are bad for children, but are energy and sports drinks a healthier alternative?

VANESSA PAPAS finds out.

Ginseng is used to improve thinking, concentration, memory and physical stamina but can cause poisoning in infants and its safety is unknown in children. “The most common side effect of ginseng is insomnia,” says Wendy.

“Less commonly, children may experience an increased heart rate, high or low blood pressure, headaches, loss of appetite, diarrhoea, itching or rash, dizziness and mood changes. There is no evidence that taurine is harmful but no evidence to suggest it isn’t either, and while B vitamins are involved in the release of energy from the food we eat, they do not actually provide energy.”

performance enhancing drinks Sports drinks contain large amounts of sugar and carbohydrates in the form of glucose. “A single serving of a sports drink contains about 27g or more of sugar – the equivalent of about five teaspoons. That’s a significant amount of extra energy in your child’s diet, which can lead to obesity and tooth decay. Adding to that is the high level of sodium in these drinks,” says Wendy.

If your child is following a balanced diet and drinking sufficient water then they shouldn’t need anything extra.

“These beverages offer a temporary solution that does not last very long, resulting in a drop in blood sugar that leaves your child feeling even more tired and drained. Rather offer a healthy snack, such as fresh or dried fruit, low-fat yoghurt, nuts, a low GI sandwich, popcorn or whole-wheat crackers with cheese, before and/or during a sporting event. When it comes to older children, especially during periods of stress such as exam time, it may be necessary to give a vitamin B supplement that will help with the release of energy from food and give your child the extra energy needed to study.”

June 2013

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pregnancy news

fight the flu g

etting influenza, or the flu, can nearly double a pregnant woman’s risk of having a miscarriage or stillbirth, according to a study done by physician Camilla Stoltenberg of the Norwegian Institute of Public Health in Oslo. The researchers studied fetal death among 113 331 women pregnant during the H1N1 flu pandemic of 2009 and 2010. It found that unvaccinated women had a 25 percent higher risk of fetal death during this time than those who had received a flu jab. In women diagnosed with influenza, the risk of fetal death more than doubled. These results confirmed that getting the flu shot while pregnant is not only safe, it can lower the risk of a pregnant woman catching the flu by up to 70 percent.

why it’s advised “A pregnant woman is more likely to become seriously ill from the flu due to certain physiological changes (taking place) in the body during pregnancy,” says Minnaar.

There are changes to the respiratory system, including the airways and sinuses; the cardiovascular system; the shape of the chest and the function of the diaphragm.

But the most critical are the changes to her immune system, which would make her more susceptible to the virus or increase the likelihood that she could become severely ill, and maybe require admission to hospital. A high fever and serious illness could lead to a premature birth.

If the mother gets the shot and starts producing antibodies against the flu virus, they will cross the placenta and also give the unborn child immunity.

Minnaar says this is important as a baby can only get a flu shot after six months. A newborn with immunity from his mother’s antibodies will be protected from serious disease during this period.

Pregnant women are strongly advised to

allaying the fears

get a flu shot to protect their unborn baby.

Yet, many women still believe there are risks involved when you get a flu vaccine. Dr Karen Minnaar, a gynaecologist and obstetrician in Centurion, says, “Currently we are not aware of any risks to the fetus. Many women worldwide receive the flu shot and so far no adverse effects have been reported.” She adds that a pregnant woman may only receive the injected flu vaccine with the inactivated virus strains and not the nasal spray vaccine.

“It is not recommended to receive the flu shot if you are already ill, but it is important to consider the benefit of the flu shot versus the small chance of a side effect.” In fact, the World Health Organization recommends pregnant women as the highest priority group for receiving the flu vaccine.

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when to get that shot Minnaar says a pregnant woman may receive the flu vaccine at any stage of gestation. “For maximum protection of the unborn child, the second and third trimester is recommended.”

Minnaar reminds us that flu vaccines are seasonal and the previous year’s vaccine may not apply to this year’s new strain of the virus. Keep in mind that some pharmacies may require a prescription or consent from your obstetrician.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

By Marina Zietsman

best for baby

tried and tested As a new mother, you’ve probably received all kinds of advice. But how many of these pieces of counsel are true?

LISA WITEPSKI tests five common theories. reading or playing music to your fetus will make your baby smarter – false

PHOTOGRAPH: sHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Prenatal sonic stimulation, the scientific term for playing music to your unborn child, is said to have many benefits, from improving your baby’s attention span to enhancing cognition and developing sound sleeping patterns. But, says Dr Vas Pillay, a Joburg paediatrician, there’s no physical evidence to support this theory. On the plus side, listening to your favourite classical music will certainly benefit you during your pregnancy. “Music aids relaxation and the production of endorphins, and a relaxed mother means a relaxed baby.”

babies need to be bathed every day – false While any mom who has picked bits of butternut out of her baby’s hair knows that infants will probably need a wash after eating, they can actually skip the daily bath until they become mobile. In fact, overzealous and frequent washing can cause the skin to become dry. “But do clean the parts that are likely to become dirty, such as the neck where milk can collect in the folds,” Pillay says.

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the food you eat while breast-feeding affects your baby – true Pillay notes that there are three main food substances breast-feeding mothers should avoid or use in moderation: alcohol, caffeine and fish containing mercury. “It takes two to three hours for your breast-milk to clear of a certain food, so you can always ‘pump and dump’,” she says.

When it comes to caffeine, it’s best to limit your intake to two or three cups of coffee or cola per day or you and your baby could become agitated and battle to sleep.

Pillay says seafood contains mercury, and those sources which are known to contain high levels, such as mackerel and swordfish, should not be in your diet.

“But don’t cut out fish altogether, as it’s a quality protein that’s rich in omega-3 fatty acids, and therefore ideal for replacing the calcium you lose through nursing and it ensures you produce nutritious milk.” Eat fish with midrange mercury levels such as tuna, in moderation.

It’s not necessary to give spicy food the cold shoulder.

The more flavours you introduce your baby to through your milk, the more easily they will take to eating solids.

excessive use of a dummy will make your baby’s teeth push forward – true Dummies could be useful when it comes to soothing a fretful infant; however, it is possible to overuse them. “Try to limit the number of hours that your child uses a dummy, and avoid using it past the age of four,” Pillay advises.

you will spoil a baby if you pick them up too much – false There is no evidence to suggest that you can “train” your baby to stop crying by refusing to pick them up, says Pillay, but there is plenty showing that holding a crying baby makes them feel secure and a secure baby grows into a confident child. “The more you interact with your baby, the better their self-esteem,” she states.

June 2013

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dealing with difference

don’t panic Episodes of intense fear can be terrifying, especially for children. MARC DE CHAZAL finds out more about panic attacks.

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definite catalysts – and is giving her skills to better cope with the symptoms, which include insomnia and stomach pain.

what is a panic attack?

Our bodies have a natural fight-or-flight response to danger, and that’s a good thing, but a sudden episode of intense fear when there is no real danger or apparent cause can be debilitating, especially if it occurs often and is not treated effectively.

Panic attacks trigger frightening physical symptoms and can make people feel as if they’re losing control, possibly having a heart attack or even dying. Many of us will experience a panic attack at some stage in our lives, usually during a stressful or traumatic situation. Recurring panic attacks, however, may mean that a person has panic disorder, a condition which tends to affect females more than males.

be aware of the signs Symptoms usually start manifesting in adolescence or early adulthood, but there are reported cases of young children being diagnosed with panic disorder. “The reason why there is an increase in young children experiencing a range of anxiety symptoms today is that more children are aware of stressful situations, such as their parents’ financial pressures or the stressors of a broken home, placing them in a heightened state known as magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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egan*, 18, experienced her first full-blown panic attack when she was 15, although she had shown signs of extreme anxiety before puberty. She was travelling overseas with her aunt’s family when the panic attack struck. Megan and one of her cousins had both fallen ill on the flight, either from food poisoning or a stomach bug. “When she didn’t bounce back as fast as her cousin did, the panic attack kicked in,” explains her mom, Melissa Botha*, who describes her daughter as having a controlling personality and experiencing high anxiety since early childhood. “It was a snowball effect: feeling sick made her unable to eat or enjoy herself, which in turn made her feel that she was ruining the holiday for everyone else. It was also the longest time she’d been away from home without either of her parents, which possibly exacerbated her anxiety.”

Back in South Africa, her family doctor prescribed antidepressants. Megan has continued to experience panic attacks since the overseas trip in 2010. In Grade 11 she was unable to complete a midyear maths exam due to an attack and then in the December holidays another illness triggered a prolonged attack. Cognitive behavioural therapy with a clinical psychologist has helped Megan become more aware of her anxiety triggers – maths tests and illness are

hypervigilance,” explains Cape Townbased clinical psychologist Rob Arnott.

“Children who navigate their way through life being overly cautious, perfectionistic and achievement orientated often do so to overcompensate for a dysfunctional childhood. These children are also at risk of developing an anxiety disorder.”

a dark passenger We don’t know for sure what causes panic attacks or panic disorder, but mental health professionals have observed common factors that play a significant role, such as genetics. Megan’s mother has been diagnosed with generalised anxiety and her maternal grandmother also has panic disorder, so her condition is likely hereditary. Further contributing factors include major stress, a temperament predisposed to stress and a chemical imbalance in the brain impeding normal brain function. Trauma, such as physical or sexual abuse, also increases the risk of developing panic attacks.

the diagnosis If you suspect your child may have panic disorder, your healthcare practitioner will need to rule out a number of other conditions before settling on a diagnosis.

Heart or thyroid problems can resemble panic symptoms, and substance abuse or other mental health conditions such as mood spectrum disorders can make someone more vulnerable to a panic attack.

Treatment may involve psychotherapy and drug therapy. According to Cassey Amoore, operations director of the South African Depression and Anxiety Group, cognitive behavioural therapy is the most successful treatment for anxiety disorders.

Arnott agrees, but adds that it may also be important to use exposure therapy. “Panic disorder can be situational and this may require gradual exposure to the situation in a nonthreatening manner, guided by a professional,” he says.

The difficulty in diagnosing younger children is that they can’t always express what they’re feeling. “Children may have similar symptoms to adults, but just express them in different ways,” explains Arnott.

“Somatic reactions, or bodily disturbances, may express unconscious feelings. These can include chronic headaches, muscle stiffness, stomach problems, heart palpitations, shivering and shaking.”

documents what she thinks triggers an attack, her most frightening physical feelings during an attack, the intensity of emotion she experiences, what she thought was the worst that might happen to her, and then an assessment of her response to the situation. The aim is to help her settle on a more rational and balanced perspective. Horse riding has also proved to be a calming influence, so she rides as often as possible.

“I realise that my daughter is constantly dealing with issues internally that may give rise to a panic attack, so keeping a thought record is a really useful tool for her to keep track of her progress,” says Melissa.

“I especially know when her panic is escalating because she’ll refuse to go out with friends and she is more reserved than usual.” Agoraphobia often accompanies panic disorder. A person will avoid places or situations that cause anxiety, often because they fear not being able to escape or get help if they get a panic attack. We can’t control life’s stressful situations, but children and young adults such as Megan who get recurring panic attacks can learn to manage their symptoms and still enjoy a healthy quality of life despite any setbacks. * Names have been changed.

read the signs A panic attack will usually happen suddenly and without warning, which is why they can be so frightening. According to the Mayo Clinic, panic attacks typically include a number of the following symptoms: • a sense of impending doom or danger; • fear of loss of control or death; • rapid heart rate; • sweating; • trembling; • shortness of breath; • hyperventilation; • chills; • hot flushes; • nausea; • abdominal cramping; • chest pain; • headache; • dizziness; • faintness; • tightness in the throat; and • trouble swallowing.

managing the condition Megan’s current treatment is a combination of medication and cognitive behavioural therapy. She takes a daily antidepressant and a sleeping tablet, and keeps a tranquillizer on hand for any panic attacks.

She also takes specific medication for stomach cramps and a probiotic. Her psychologist has encouraged her to keep a panic attack thought record, which magazine cape town

where to get help The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) has numerous online resources and support groups. Contact: 011 262 6396 or visit sadag.org for a support group in your area.

June 2013

13

parenting

keeping score Who would have thought that raising a child is a competitive sport?

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Jennifer Stastny examines the dark side of pushy parenting.

othing turns me into a competitive parent quicker than a developmental milestone. Sitting by six months? Mine did it by five. Walking unassisted by a year?

Mine had it down pat with two weeks to spare.

Talking in three-word sentences by 24 months?

Please, mine was talking fluently and quoting Kahlil Gibran – okay, Noddy – by 15 months.

Take that, Postman Pat. I’m not the first mother to feel competitive about her child, and I will certainly not be the last. Indeed, many parents argue that their competitiveness is exactly what their children need – a little bit of a “push” to do their best. They feel that they would be failing as parents if they didn’t urge their children to excel.

After all, isn’t it a parent’s job to prepare their child for the demands of the real world?

Perhaps we would be easier on our children if our “mommy marks” were ranked and posted on a notice board at the end of each year.

As it is, parents are left drifting in a world of uncertainty with few guidelines, so we pounce on our children’s school marks and sporting accolades instead.

lifting the yoke

don’t push too hard They may have a point, but they’re playing a dangerous game, experts say. “Parental pressure can compromise a child’s sense of self-worth and strain parent-child relationships,” says Alison Breen, a clinical psychologist in Cape Town. “The child can get the message that he is loved for what he achieves rather than for who he is. He can then become addicted to success as a way to feel loved, in effect inheriting his parents’ competitiveness. This can leave him vulnerable to depression and anxiety later in life.”

Ironically, research shows that parental pressure may actually reduce a child’s performance, motivation and enjoyment of an activity, says Breen. “I find it hard to believe that the child of the mother who forced her son to count in front of me, just to prove that he could after an unfavourable report card, will take a shining to maths,” says Cape Town nursery school teacher Jean de Groot. “What a child does at home and at school can be totally different. Some children are very shy at school. Forcing him to count in front of me, when he clearly didn’t want to, did nothing to boost his confidence or make him want to perform better.”

Your child may thrive under your brand of parental encouragement – or he may secretly be wilting under the weight of your expectations. The only way to know for sure is to ask, says Mark Connelly, a Cape Townbased psychologist. “Start a genuine conversation around competition with your child and listen to his response.

Then think about how your child’s feelings may play out in five or 10 years’ time. Is this the kind of relationship you want with him?” asks Connelly. “If your competitiveness is not creating the kind of connection you want, you may need to make changes.”

I’m not proud of my competitiveness. I try to hide it, both from other parents and from my daughter as I’m quite aware that she may one day buckle under the pressure of my expectations and run off to live as a hippie in the mountains.

Or worse; I may pass my competitiveness on to her, and she may end up driving herself too hard to achieve.

This is a real concern for one of my friends, a competitive sort whose 10-year-old daughter is growing to be equally

What’s a parent to do, other than become competitively “uncompetitive”? There’s only one real solution: opt out of the competitive spiel entirely. “Competitiveness creeps in when a parent focuses on the child’s achievements compared to others rather than the child’s efforts,” says Connelly. “One anticompetitive tactic might be to ask yourself, am I proud of my child because she came first, or because she made an effort?” Focusing on the effort will shift your thinking out of the comparative headspace and create new ways to relate to and encourage your child. This will allow both of you to relax about your child’s performance and simply enjoy how far she has come, rather than bemoan how far she still has to go.

It may also help to stop and reconsider the personal values that are making you feel competitive; values that you may well have inherited from your own parents. “I think competitive parenting is a symptom of a much deeper issue regarding the values of modern life, where success and material wealth are confused with happiness,” says Breen. “You won’t be able to change your unhealthy competitive behaviours unless you also challenge your underlying belief that winning is everything.”

Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and one in which most parents are deeply invested in doing well at.

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competitive. “She’s the kind of child who, if she can’t do something really well in the first attempt, won’t press on and try again. Either she’s brilliant, or it doesn’t figure in her life,” says my friend. “I can see this posing a problem for her later, but have absolute sympathy for her as I’m the same.”

Where does this competitive urge come from? From your parents, yes, but also from just being human.

Homo sapiens have evolved psychologically and physically to size themselves up against others. “We are wired to be sensitive to what others think and feel about us, as being seen in a positive light is good for fostering relationships, and as such is both physically and mentally adaptive,” says Breen. “However, when you place this tendency to compare in a society that values success above everything else, the neutral act of comparison takes on a competitive edge.”

In short, the modern world changes the tool nature provided to make you a better, happier person into a psychological battering ram that relentlessly pushes you to outperform everyone else. The problem is that it’s extremely difficult to “win” as a parent. “Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and one in which most parents are deeply invested in doing well at,” says Breen. “It’s easy to feel insecure about your performance.

Some parents overcompensate for this feeling by pushing their children too hard. They believe that if their child is successful, it means they are good parents and can feel good about themselves.”

There will come a time when you will be faced with a parent more openly and virulently competitive than yourself.

This is not the time to square up and tell them their competitiveness is merely a symptom of their skewed, unchallenged values and deep-seated insecurities as a parent. Rather take an emotional step backwards and remind yourself that their competitiveness is their issue in their life. “Entering into the fray is pointless,” says Connelly. “Rather focus on your relationship with your child. Remember that she is wonderful the way she is.

Quietly acknowledge the other child’s efforts, and then move away. Find parents who share your values and who are inspirational.

If escape is not an option and you can successfully avoid getting locked into a competitive two-step, you could also try defusing the competitive parent with praise.

“It’s often the parents who feel the least confident that behave the most competitively,” says Breen. “Without being insincere or putting yourself or your child down, give these parents what they are silently asking for – validation and reassurance. It may be useful to have a standard phrase like ‘that’s great’.”

Sometimes a parent’s competitiveness revolves less around his or her child’s accomplishments and more magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

when you’re not the competitive one the compete package

around who can be the most involved and self-sacrificing parent in the pack. When faced with such a creature, think on these wise words from Alison Budge, a Cape Townbased freelance journalist and mother of two tweens: “Competitive types compete for glory. I deliberately let them run with their own brilliance and compliment them on their actions, and then I hold on to their shirt tails. They get all the glory but I get the action and information I need to make my life smoother.”

Yes, it can be satisfying to achieve and difficult to resist the competitive urge, especially when another

parent’s competitiveness is triggering your own need to excel. But being the best shouldn’t be your only goal – for yourself, or for your children. Life would be very dull if we didn’t also get enjoyment out of the effort involved in pursuing a goal, whether or not we come first. To quote Dr Seuss, who somehow manages to simultaneously rhyme and be wise: “Oh! The places you will go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored! There are games to be won! And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.”

five clues that you may be a competitive parent • • • • •

Other parents avoid you at the school gates.

You enrol your child in every extramural under the sun without asking what he or she actually wants to do.

Your child asks you to stop coming to sports events.

You hire a tutor for your child even though he’s getting straight Bs. You do online quizzes to find out if your child is an underachiever.

magazine cape town

June 2013

15

recipes

delicious dishes for dads It’s Father’s Day on June 16, so CHILD MAGAZINE has asked

richard cloete A braai would not be complete without a generous helping of Richard’s legendary mushroom sauce. This Cape Town-based father of two girls is a dab hand in the kitchen, but it’s his pepper sauce with its cheeky zing that has friends asking for more when they come over for a Sunday braai or a steak dinner. Make sure to leave out the brandy if you are serving this to the children as well.

mushroom and pepper sauce (best enjoyed over a juicy steak, or even baked potatoes) • 1 packet sliced mushrooms

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• a generous amount of black peppercorns • 1 tablespoon soy sauce • 3 cloves fresh garlic, chopped • a hot sauce, mild to hot depending on your preference • 1 tub cream • 2 tots brandy • 2 tbsp cooking oil Method Grind the black pepper, the more the merrier. You can use about three to four tablespoons to one tub of cream, depending on how peppery you want it to taste.

Heat the oil in a pan and add the mushrooms and the ground black pepper.

Allow the mushrooms to cook very well and then add the soy sauce and hot sauce.

Add the fresh garlic and two tots of brandy before adding the tub of cream.

Let everything simmer for five minutes and then turn off the heat. Allow to cool.

It is best to prepare this sauce one to two hours prior to eating and then to reheat the pan about three minutes before serving.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com / Russel Wasserfall / kasia cloete

foodie fathers for their favourite winter-warmer recipe.

benny masekwameng Accomplished Tsogo Sun celebrity chef Benny Masekwameng became a household name when he appeared in the first season of MasterChef SA as one of the judges. Benny got his first taste of working in a kitchen when he helped his mother prepare meals for the construction workers in Alexandra. The father to daughter Dimakatso, describes himself as a “proudly South African chef” who focuses on using fresh, locally procured ingredients.

lamb and lentil soup Serves 4–6 people • 1 onion • 1 carrot • 1 celery stick • 2 tomatoes • 1 clove of garlic (all finely chopped) • 1 cup brown lentils, rinsed and soaked for 30 min

magazine cape town

• 1 tbsp tomato paste • 200g lamb shin, cooked and cut into small cubes with no bones • 1l lamb stock • 2 tbsp fresh coriander, roughly chopped • 1 red chilli, finely chopped • salt and pepper Method In a soup pot, sweat the onion, carrot, garlic and leeks over medium heat for five to seven minutes until the onions are translucent. Add the tomato paste, mix and cook for a further three minutes.

Add the tomato, chilli, lentils and stock; turn the heat up and bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and cover with a lid and cook for 40 minutes until the lentils are cooked. Taste to check for seasoning and adjust accordingly.

Using a stick blender, purée until the lentils are half smooth and still chunky.

Return to the heat and add the lamb shin cubes and coriander and cook for a further 10 minutes.

Serve with crusty bread or steamed bread (idombolo), and a sprinkle of freshly chopped coriander.

Cooking the lamb shank Brown 500g sliced lamb shin with bone and add 1 tsp of tomato paste, 1 of each: onion, carrot, celery stick (roughly chopped).

Mix all of this together and cook for 5 minutes. Then deglaze with a cup of red wine (optional) and add 1 litre of water and simmer until the meat is cooked (maximum 2 hours).

Remove the meat from the liquid, cool and then remove from the bone and cut it into cubes, ready for the soup.

The cooking liquid can be strained and used as the stock for the soup recipe.

June 2013

17

recipes

deena naidoo South Africa’s first MasterChef, Deena Naidoo, says his family have always supported his love of cooking. And, after winning MasterChef in 2012, Deena opened his own restaurant at Tsogo Sun’s Montecasino in Joburg, named Aarya after his 11-year-old daughter. He also has a son, Theshlin, 15 and stepson, Naveshan, 23.

His love of cooking was inspired by his late mother, and he can remember making his first meal when he was just seven years old.

butter chicken Serves 4 people • 1kg boneless, skinless chicken breasts cut into 2cm cubes For the marinade: • the juice of 1pc lemon or lime • 6 cloves • 8–10 peppercorns • 1 cinnamon stick • 2 bay leaves (fresh is always better, if dry add 2 more) • 3g coriander seeds • 3g cumin seeds • seeds of 3 cardamom pods • 8–10 whole almonds • 3g dried chilli • 3g turmeric • 250ml full-cream plain Greek yoghurt • 30ml coconut cream For the sauce: • 20ml sunflower oil • 2 large onions, finely chopped • 6 plump garlic cloves (use only fresh), chopped finely • 10g finely grated fresh ginger • 480g can tomato puree • 500ml prepared chicken stock (you can use your own or use stock cubes) • handful fresh curry leaves (fresh is best, but you can use dried, just a little more) • pinch of salt and sugar to taste • 45g butter • fresh coriander leaves for garnish and flavour

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Method Place the chicken in a glass or plastic bowl and add the lemon or lime juice.

Cover and set aside until you’ve prepared your spice and nut mixture.

Heat a dry, clean pan over medium heat and add the cloves, peppercorns, piece of cinnamon stick, bay leaves, coriander, chilli, turmeric, cumin and cardamom seeds and almonds. Gently roast the spices and nuts for a few minutes or until lightly toasted and aromatic, stirring frequently.

Tip the contents into a coffee grinder and grind into a powder before stirring it into the yoghurt. If you do not have a coffee grinder, place the mixture into your processor and add the yoghurt and coconut cream, then blitz.

Now add the spiced yoghurt mixture to the chicken, stir well, cover and set aside to marinate for two hours in the refrigerator.

To cook the dish, heat the sunflower oil in a large pan and add the onions. Sauté until golden then add the garlic and ginger.

Cook lightly for a few seconds then add the tomato puree, bring to the boil, then add the chicken stock and curry leaves. I like to chop them up, but it’s your call.

Bring to a boil and reduce heat. Simmer uncovered until the sauce has reduced considerably and thickened to your liking.

Now add the chicken and the yoghurtspice mixture to the simmering sauce and stir. If you dislike the extreme tart taste of the tomato and yoghurt combination, add sugar to taste. If the dish is not salty enough to your liking, add salt.

Now bring to the boil and cook for a few minutes just until the chicken is cooked right through: any longer will make the chicken tough and stringy.

Finally, add the butter and stir through, at this point do not boil again as the butter will separate from the rest of the ingredients.

Garnish with coriander leaves and serve with basmati rice, sambals and naan breads. magazine cape town

michael olivier Michael Olivier is a renowned food and wine writer, a published author and broadcaster. His love of wine is not surprising, considering that he grew up on a wine farm in the hills of Durbanville, Cape Town. He trained at The London Cordon Bleau Cookery School and has successfully managed three highlyacclaimed restaurants. He says of his bobotie recipe, “This is probably the most widely known and loved of all Cape dishes.

It has its origins in the Cape in the 17th century when the Dutch Settlers brought their unique style of cooking, infused with the spices of the East. In earlier times, it was made as a Monday supper dish from left-over roast lamb or beef, usually the remains of a Sunday roast, but in the South African home of today raw ground beef is usually used.” Michael has been married to his wife Madeleine for more than 30 years and he has three children; Sarah, Amy and Peter.

bobotie Serves 6 people • 1 thick slice white bread, crusts removed • 250ml cold milk • 2 tbsp sunflower or peanut oil • 1 tbsp butter • 2 medium onions, finely chopped • 2 fat cloves of garlic • 1 tbsp medium, aromatic curry powder • 1 tsp turmeric • 2 tbsp white wine vinegar, tamarind juice or lemon juice • 1kg ground beef, a portion of this could be ground fat mutton • 3 tbsp fruity chutney • 125ml ground almonds • 75g unbleached seedless sultanas, grated rind of one lemon and one orange, with no white pith • 1 tbsp natural or palm sugar • 4 bay leaves

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• 2 jumbo free range eggs • sea salt and freshly milled black pepper • knife-point of turmeric, if desired • 6 fresh lemon leaves, for garnish Method Soak the slices of bread in the cold milk and when saturated, squeeze dry in a sieve, set aside.

Reserve the milk to make the custard topping. Preset the oven at 180°C. In a heavy saucepan, heat the oil and the butter, start browning the onions over medium heat. After a while add the garlic and continue cooking slowly until the mixture is a light golden brown.

Add the curry powder, turmeric and white wine vinegar, tamarind or lemon juice and cook for a few minutes to release the aromatic oils of the spices.

Add the ground beef/lamb and stir with a spoon to break it up, keep stirring until it loses its red colour.

Add the chutney, almonds, sultanas, grated rinds, natural or palm sugar, bay leaves and seasoning.

Add one of the eggs, beaten, the soaked bread and the ground almonds. Taste and reseason if necessary.

Pack into a flat ovenproof dish and smooth off the top.

Cover and bake in the preset oven for one and a half hours.

Turn down the oven temperature to 150°C to cook the topping.

For the topping, whisk the remaining egg into the milk, season and strain if required. Add a knife-point of turmeric to give the milk topping a yellow colour.

When the bobotie comes out of the oven, pour over the custard. Garnish in a pattern with the lemon leaves and return to the oven for a further half hour or until the topping has set.

Serve with yellow rice and raisins, chutney, sliced ripe bananas and toasted coconut.

June 2013

19

fyi

children have rights too

As minors, children are legally unable to make certain decisions. So it’s our responsibility to ensure that their rights are protected. By LINDSAY HERMAN

Parents all over South Africa were snapped out of their reverie early this year when they learnt that a three-year-old girl had spent a night in police lockup with her father who was arrested for alleged drunk driving. He had been on his way to the shop with his daughter, who was wearing her pyjamas, in the car. But the allegation that he may have been drinking while driving, and worse still, with a toddler in the car, took a backseat when a picture of the little girl lying in a police cell made front page news. It is alleged that police officers refused to take the toddler home or let her father call someone to fetch her.

Her father says police even refused to give her a drink of water when she wouldn’t stop crying. The matter is now being looked into by the police’s investigative directorate. However, regardless of the details or outcome, cases like these turn the spotlight on children’s rights.

what the law says According to the Centre for Child Law at the University of Pretoria, there’s no principle legislation that prescribes the procedure the South African Police Service (SAPS) should follow in these circumstances. But they do have internally formulated policies to provide guidance. If a parent is arrested while a child is in their care, the baby or toddler may be kept with the parent in a single cell, especially if the mother is still nursing. The police should then contact a family member or a family friend to fetch the child.

If no one is available, the child will remain with the parent.

The centre’s Morgan Courtenay says, “In cases where the offence committed by the parent shows irresponsible behaviour towards the child – such as driving under the influence – a social worker may be contacted, and care and protection proceedings instituted.”

Section 28 of the South African Constitution specifically deals with the rights of a child, described by the Bill of Rights as a person under the age of 18.

One of its provisions is that children should “not be detained except as a measure of last resort”. In such a case, the child may be detained only for the “shortest appropriate period of time”. Children also have the right to be kept separately from other detainees over the age of 18 years. The Constitution is quite clear that children should be treated in a manner, and kept in conditions, that take the child’s age into account.

The complainant was also of the opinion that the newspaper in question failed to put control measures in place to ensure children weren’t able to access such advertisements.

But Asasa dismissed the complaint, saying it did not contravene the Code of Advertising Practice and the women portrayed in the advertisement were no less scantily clad than one might find “on a beach, or in a surfing or summer catalogue”. As such it said it couldn’t make a finding that it is likely to cause harm to children.

Similarly, Asasa also dismissed a complaint regarding a billboard in Kempton Park, advertising an adult entertainment guide. The complainant said the billboard was in a public space, on a busy road, where young children were exposed to it and could thus be influenced to visit the internet site advertised. The internet service said it had put measures in place to prevent children from accessing the content.

Again, Asasa found the billboard did not contravene its Code of Advertising Practice.

“It is not for the Asasa to determine whether, morally or legally, this type of business should be discouraged,” it said.

But what about cases where children themselves are the subjects of media articles or photographs? Director of the Press Council Joe Thloloe says there was a time when this issue was a concern, but with the vast majority of publications now adhering to the Bill of Rights, various children’s laws and the press code, very few complaints are received.

A child’s best interests are of paramount importance in every matter concerning the child.

what the law says about children in photographs

In a world where we are bombarded by all kinds of media messages coming to us through newspapers, magazines, television, billboards and increasingly online, parents are constantly on the lookout for material that could be inappropriate for young minds. But there are no laws that specifically protect children from such messages.

In complaints that a child’s photograph has been used in a publication or online without parental consent, the Press Council uses the Bill of Rights and section 28.2 as its guide; in particular the provision that states: “A child’s best interests are of paramount importance in every matter concerning the child.”

Thloloe says, “The proviso here is that no harm should come to the child. That’s the bottom line.” The Press Council’s code also states that the press should exercise “exceptional care and consideration when reporting about children under the age of 18”.

Accordingly, a child shall not be interviewed, photographed or identified unless a custodial parent or responsible adult consents, or a public interest is evident.

Ann Skelton, director of the Centre for Child Law, explains that unless a child is involved in criminal proceedings as a witness or a complainant, or is the subject of a custody battle, there is “no absolute prohibition” on the publication of information that identifies a child. “Generally the agreement to be identified can be negotiated with a parent, but sometimes parents don’t know what is in their child’s best interests.” Thloloe adds, “If a child is scoring a goal in a soccer match, there’s no need to obtain permission.

It doesn’t harm the child; rather it’s elevating his status.”

what the law says about advertising

what the law says about children in advertisements

The Centre for Child Law says, “Only advertising and programming that may be of an adult nature and thus unsuitable for children may not be aired.” In February, the Advertising Standards Authority of SA (Asasa) dismissed two separate complaints about advertisements that related to sex. The complainant felt that a print advertisement promoting an sms sex service was provocative and inappropriate for children who also read newspapers.

As with the Press Council, the Asasa has its own guidelines regarding the portrayal of children in adverts. Violations are determined by whether a child has been or could be harmed. “Advertisements addressed to or likely to influence children should not contain any statement or visual presentation, which might result in harming them mentally, morally, physically or emotionally.”

children and the media

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June 2013

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PHOTOGRAPHS / ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

detention of a minor

Adverts may not depict a particular activity or circumstances that will have the likely effect that children would attempt to emulate it and thereby risk physical, moral or mental harm. These would include advertisements that encourage children to enter strange places, have a conversation with a stranger, or play in an unsafe area. The general principle of the code is: “Advertisements should not exploit the natural credulity of children or their lack of experience and should not strain their sense of loyalty.” They should not be portrayed as sexually appealing, provocative or in any manner that involves forms of sexual innuendo.

what the law says about marketing to children While the law may not be prescriptive on the rights of children not to be faced with inappropriate marketing, at least 30 South African food, beverage, retail and fast-food outlets have voluntarily committed to change the way they market and advertise to children. The pledge was initiated by the Consumer Goods Council of South Africa (CGCSA) to emphasise nutritional awareness and promote responsible marketing to children. “This pledge is an important milestone in indicating this industry’s commitment to the global strategy on diet, physical activity and health in improving nutrition and promoting a healthy lifestyle,” says CGCSA spokesperson Nick Tselentis.

The companies have committed not to advertise products to children 12 years and under, where they represent at least 50 percent of the target market, except for products which fulfil specific nutritional criteria. Asasa also administers a Code of Advertising Practice, which includes a Food and Beverage Code. This code extends to TV advertising and marketing on, or in close proximity to, preschool or primary school premises. It also addresses product endorsements and marketing promotions aimed at children.

For information on the Sexual Offences Act, visit childmag.co.za/content/child-rights

magazine cape town

the Bill of Rights 1. Every child has the right a. to a name and a nationality from birth; b. to family care or parental care, or to appropriate alternative care when removed from the family environment; c. to basic nutrition, shelter, basic health care services and social services; d. to be protected from maltreatment, neglect, abuse or degradation; e. to be protected from exploitative labour practices; f. not to be required or permitted to perform work or provide services that

i. are inappropriate for a person of that child’s age; or

ii. place at risk the child’s wellbeing, education, physical or mental health or spiritual, moral or social development; g. not to be detained except as a measure of last resort, in which case, in addition to the rights a child enjoys under sections 12 and 35, the child may be detained only for the shortest appropriate period of time, and has the right to be

i. kept separately from detained persons over the age of 18 years; and

ii. treated in a manner, and kept in conditions, that take account of the child’s age; h. to have a legal practitioner assigned to the child by the state, and at state expense, in civil proceedings affecting the child, if substantial injustice would otherwise result; and i. not to be used directly in armed conflict, and to be protected in times of armed conflict.

2. A child’s best interests are of paramount importance in every matter concerning the child.

3. In this section “child” means a person under the age of 18 years.

June 2013

21

getaway

snow patrol Novice skier LISA MC NAMARA shares some advice she wishes she had known before hitting the slopes.

i

f you mention that you’re going on a skiing holiday, people are bound to say, “Oh, what a wonderful family holiday, you’ll have so much fun.” And that’s all anyone ever tells you. I wish there were some things people had told me before we embarked on this long-saved-for excursion. While skiing is great fun, it is not for the faint-hearted.

It really is a great way to have a lot of fun as a family, regardless of the ages and stages of your children, or whether you have girls or boys. I saw moms with babies who were happy to pull them round on toboggans all day, while others handed over their charges to welltrained nannies before hitting the slope for a few hours. This sport is also a great leveller, as being older certainly doesn’t make you fare better. It is all about being confident and relaxed, which is probably why children are much faster learners.

when to go?

Robyn in her mixand-match ski gear

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Preferably when there is snow, and plenty of it. You are usually safe if you visit from December to February (in the northern hemisphere), but check first with the resort you have chosen. Ask about their weather patterns for the past few years and find out at what altitude they are located. One more thing, skiing is tiring, so if you are planning on combining your trip with any other excursions or destinations, such as Disneyland Paris, I would suggest that you save the slope action for last.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: lisa mc namara / bruno van loocke

so why go?

where to go?

Fabulous skiing is to be had on just about every continent. We chose to go to France, as we wanted to use our air miles and could connect easily to Paris via London. We opted for a fairly large, family-focused resort that had opened the previous year. While my husband and I are not huge fans of crowds or buffet food, these larger resorts are geared for families. My children were able to take charge of their own routines, their ski gear and decide on their general entertainment. As the resort is child-safe, with place for children to play, they were able to enjoy an independence they seldom get to experience at home.

Our only rule was that we had to have breakfast and dinner together, which mostly worked.

Visiting a French resort has its pros and cons. The food was a definite plus, as the French are fussy about their cuisine and there was something special at every meal that made queuing worthwhile. On the down side, many of the other families were French-speaking and our children battled to make friends because of the language barrier. However, we were fortunate to bump into three families we knew well from school and the children had a ball. If you are going to a foreign resort, it is worth considering going with another family, or finding out if anyone you know is going to be there at the same time. Robyn celebrated her 11th birthday at the resort and we ended up having a wonderful dinner for 17, complete with balloons, a beautiful cake courtesy of the hotel and gifts from the hotel shop.

Our resort was particularly suited to “debutant skiers”, with a great ski school, plenty of gentle slopes – graded as blue and green – and skiing from the door. Our lockers were literally three metres from the door onto the slopes, which meant no lugging skis and poles on and off buses or trams. I can’t emphasise how pleasant that was and it will certainly be a deciding factor in any future ski trips.

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Julian, right, and her friend Rebecca

Club Med Valmorel in the French Alps

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getaway

Another reason we chose the resort was because it was situated just above a tiny village, with buses running there on the hour. I enjoyed getting away from the resort for a bit of shopping, a quick pizza, or a beer among the locals.

upon arrival The staff will help you pick boots that won’t cut off your circulation, skis that are the right length for your ability – or lack thereof in my case, ski poles and a helmet which is recommended for all skiers, not just the children. They will then assign each family member a locker with an access card.

Make sure you have signed up for ski school and that you have your ski pass securely zipped in your jacket pocket as losing it can be costly and time consuming. I must emphasise the benefit of hiring a private ski instructor for the first two or three days. We hired one for three mornings and when we joined our beginner group in the afternoon, we found our progress to be twice that of the others. This was definitely an indication of the ski instructor’s skill, not ours.

It was a breeze to sign Julian up for a class, as she had skied a few times before.

But for Robyn, it was a bit trickier as she was too young to join our group and had to go to the children’s ski school. She was initially excited to ski with mates of her own age, but when she got to the class, her face fell. The average age of the other beginners was five – French children learn to ski pretty much at the same time they learn to walk.

Disappointed, Robyn announced that she was not going back to ski school. But after a good lunch and a jump to the “snowflakes” class, she settled in to skiing with children who now at least came up to her shoulder. In hindsight, I probably should have signed her up for a few afternoons of private lessons at the beginning of the week.

10 things you need to do before you go: 1 Save, so that you can make the most of what’s on offer.

2 Get fit.

3 Make sure you have the correct travel insurance. Your medical aid may include cover for travel, but check whether your insurance covers skiing, which is considered an adventure sport.

4 Borrow as much kit as you can and don’t worry what the trendy set think of your handme-downs. For some, the slopes double as a catwalk and what’s “in” often depends on what country you come from. Your chances of actually working it all out are slim, so leave it to the Russians and relax in your mix-and-match. What you can’t borrow, buy from a retailer like Cape Union Mart. They have everything you need and the quality is good.

5 Decide whether you will concentrate on snowboarding or opt for skiing. If you are going for a week, and need lessons, it’s unlikely that you will be able to do both.

6 Book private ski lessons at the hotel or resort. The quicker you get those skis parallel, the sooner you’ll be able to explore the slopes and restaurants on them by yourself.

7 Find out if there is a do-it-yourself laundry as this will cut down on what you need to take with you.

8 Enquire what restaurants or other entertainment are on offer and prebook if you can.

Book a babysitter while you are at it.

9 Ask about your airline’s luggage restrictions and whether there are any that apply to the trains or buses you may be using. We thought we were quite organised and had one large suitcase with all the ski stuff in it, only to find that the suitcase was too large to fit through the station’s turnstile in Paris.

10 Discuss ground rules with your children regarding meal times, the acceptable amount of hot chocolate to be consumed in a day and their curfew. This becomes even more important if you are travelling with another family.

what you need to pack: • ski socks – three pairs each; • thermal long johns/leggings and vests; • zip-up fleece – at least two each; • beanie, ear warmer or hat that stays on in the wind; • goggles or sunglasses for the glare; • moon boots or some kind of ankle supporting snow boots when you remove your ski boots – children can use their gumboots for tobogganing; • warm, waterproof gloves – I swopped my gloves for down mittens and found them warmer and quicker to take on and off when negotiating ski lifts; • ski pants and jacket; • tissues and sunscreen; • a book of useful phrases in the language of the country you’re visiting.

and if there’s still space in your luggage • A GoPro camera that will allow you to take action shots while zooming down the slopes; • A knee brace, if you have dodgy knees like me.

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The best time to ski in the French Alps is from December to February

useful French words and phrases lift pass children’s ski area ski school drag lift slow down beginners not allowed ice run closed left right help! watch out mulled wine a beer please hot chocolate

un forfait jardin de neige l’ ecole de ski teleski ralentir debutants interdit glace piste ferme gauche droit au secours! attention vin chaud une bière s’il vous plait chocolat chaud

how to be fitness-ready for a skiing holiday Lander and Pursad Biokineticists at the Sports Science Institute of South Africa suggest you do the following to ensure your family is ready to hit the snow. Skiing requires endurance, so do 25 to 40 minutes of cardiovascular workouts three times per week.

• If you go to the gym, the elliptical trainer will target the muscles you use while skiing, especially your upper body and quadricepshamstring coordination.

• Outdoor sports such as trail running or cycling will challenge your cardiovascular fitness and lower body strength and balance, while rollerblading also helps with balance.

• Skiing is made up of short, repeated bursts of exercise. Prepare for this by doing your favourite cardio exercise in a twenty-minute sequence.

• Having strong quadriceps is important for holding a bent-knee position and for knee stability. Squats with your back supported by a wall are great for this. Strong hamstrings and glutes will help with pelvic stability, which you’ll need to maintain the forward bent position. Try bridging exercises for this. Calf raises will strengthen the lower leg muscles, which are relied on for stability at the ankle joint.

• Strong core stability will help with your balance and take strain off your lower back. Try the plank and the side plank to improve these muscles.

Dynamic balance work will decrease your risk of injury and provide stability on the slopes. Stand with one leg on a Bosu ball or another unstable surface and maintain your balance. Incorporate stretches into your routine, focusing on hamstrings, quadriceps, calves and glutes to help with recovery and to prevent injury.

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resource

online time-savers Losing track of playdates, extramurals and even your budget? CHILD MAGAZINE recommends five applications and five websites that can help make parenting a bit easier. images with others. You can upload an unlimited number of files and privately share them with loved ones living nearby or far away. This is a convenient way to record your family’s milestones and special moments.

mediclinic baby

cozi family organiser Visit: cozi.com This useful calendar application synchronises with all your family members’ devices, so everyone is kept in the loop about daily tasks, extramurals, appointments and reminders.

There is one account for the whole family, which makes it easy to manage. You can share shopping lists, meal plans and family photos and it will synchronise with your calendars on other devices.

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home budget with synch

23snaps

Visit: anishu.com This makes it so much easier to draw up and keep a family budget. You can set up recurring bills, take photographs of receipts and get reminders when accounts are due.

Share with other family members, so that you all have access to important information.

Visit: 23snaps.com You’ve probably got thousands of photographs and video clips of your children, doing everything from taking their first steps to running their first race or performing in the end-of-year play. Use this application to save and share these

Visit: mediclinic.co.za/pregnancyapp This free application provides new parents with all the information they need to prepare for their baby’s arrival. Sign in for weekly progress updates and answers to frequently asked questions. There is a weight tracker to monitor your pregnancy weight gain, you can create a special video of your nine month journey and it has a handy calendar so you won’t forget your next doctor’s appointment. There is also a contraction timer, so that you can get to the hospital in good time.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

t

hese applications will help you stay organised. Visit the suggested websites to find out if the application is compatible with the operating system of your computer, smartphone or tablet.

While many of the applications are free, these may be the “lite” version with fewer features, and you may have to pay to access the premium content.

useful websites or forums

iRewardChart Visit: irewardchart.com This allows you to monitor and reward your child’s good behaviour. Similar apps are ChoreMonster, which comes up with ways to make chores for children between the ages of four and 12 more fun, and iEarnedThat, which creates a photo of the reward, and divides it into puzzle pieces according to however many days you’ve given the child to complete a task.

Best Baby Monitor App

novelt y applic ation

Visit: bestbabymonitor app.com Using two iOS devices, parents are able to transmit videos and audio directly from their baby’s cot using the built-in Bluetooth connection.

With the added features of night vision, three famous lullabies, a talk-to-baby feature and an activity log you can be sure that you and your baby will both get a restful night’s sleep. It’s a great app for when you’re travelling and don’t want to pack a bulky monitor.

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eduexcel.co.za

Your son is loath to pick up a book and study, while your daughter is happy to spend hours reading in her room. Are you interested in understanding learning styles, and why boys and girls do things differently? Gavin Keller, an educator and parent of two boys, keeps pace with international trends on neurolearning.

Visit the site to find out more about his presentations. Gavin also recommends books every parent and teacher should read.

education.gov.za This government website will give you updated information about the national education policy, school fees, guidelines for school governing bodies and the school calendar. Learners will find links to exam-support websites, study guides and other helpful sources. This is a good place to start if you are looking to find out more about schooling options, the curriculum and the latest education news.

childsafe.org.za As a campaign of the Child Accident Prevention Foundation of Southern Africa and Safe Kids Worldwide, Childsafe offers

safety tips and advice for the car, home, in water and on the playground. There’s information about keeping your child safe, from birth to the age of five, as well as invaluable advice about the storage of potentially hazardous substances and medicines. There’s even a guide to choosing the right swimming teacher for your child.

nalibali.org This website is packed with inspiration and tips for reading more with your children, and for encouraging them to read more widely.

There are storytelling guides, advice for reading with children of different ages, and activities you can do to encourage reading.

Find a reading club in your area and see what books have been recommended, by age group, language and theme. This site is an invaluable resource for parents.

mtnsciencentre.org.za If you’re looking for something different yet educational to do with the children, check out the weekend and holiday programmes of the science centre in your area. There should be something for children of all ages, and many activities are aligned with the school curriculum, which makes for an enriching, fun experience.

time-savers • Find out if your bank has an application that will allow you to access your account, make payments and manage your finances from your smartphone or tablet.

• Weather applications will ensure that you’re not caught out at sports’ day without a rain jacket.

Popular options are accuweather. com and windguru.cz if you want to know details about wind direction and cloud cover.

• Subscribe to online magazines and books so you always have access to your reading material.

• Need directions to a party, or the nearest school in your area?

An application that lists nearby attractions could save you plenty of time and petrol. Use Google Maps and other location applications.

• Applications or programmes that allow you to monitor and restrict your child’s access to the internet will be invaluable as their smartphone or online connectivity increases. Your options include netnanny.com, netparent.co.za and mobiflock.com

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books

for toddlers

a good read

The Paper Dolls

By Julia Donaldson and Rebecca Cobb

Happy Hector

By Polly Dunbar (Published by Walker Books, R92) Inspired picture-book creator Polly Dunbar brings you this colourful and charming series, following the escapades of Tilly and her friends, for toddlers from the age of two years old. Hector is so happy sitting on Tilly’s lap, while the others keep themselves busy. Tumpty and Doodle are playing with their toy cars. Pru is happily combing her feathers and Tiptoe is painting a lovely picture. Until they all see how much fun it is to sit on Tilly’s lap and decide to join in and spoil it for Hector.

He slumps off, feeling lonely and sad. But Tilly knows just how to show Hector how special he is to her. She has painted a picture just for him.

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R99) This is a story of one little girl and her five paper dolls, called Ticky, Tacky, Jackie the Backie, Jim with two noses and Jo with the bow. The string of paper dolls goes on an adventure through the house and out into the garden. They escape the clutches of the toy dinosaur and the jaws of the oven-glove crocodile, but then a very real pair of scissors threatens. The paper dolls stay in the little girl’s memory, and when she grows up and becomes a mom herself, she helps her little girl to make paper dolls. This rhythmical story reminds us of childhood, memories and the power of imagination.

for preschoolers

The Story of Angulimala, The Story of Buddha, What is Buddhism? and What is Meditation?

By Geshe Kelsang Gyatso (Published by Tharpa Publications, R80 each) The Story of Angulimala introduces children to Buddhism. The Story of Buddha is level two in the series, and teaches children that Buddha’s life is as relevant today as it was long ago. What is Buddhism?, invites the reader to explore and develop the mind by using scientific methods taught by Buddha. In the level four book, What is Meditation?, children learn that meditation is the way to make the mind peaceful, and therefore happy. Books can be bought at the Kadampa centres or at tharpa.com/za

The Happy Prince Adapted by Carole Bloch and Margaret Sixel; illustrated by Joan Rankin

a class ic tale fo r today

(Published by Jacana Media, R88) From his high pedestal, the Happy Prince, a magnificent golden statue, can see all the misery of the city below him. He begs a little swallow to pluck off his treasure and share it among the poor. When the Happy Prince asks his new friend to stay and help him, the swallow receives a lesson in kindness and caring. Oscar Wilde’s timeless, compassionate tale of their friendship is brought to life by Joan Rankin’s magical artwork. Beloved since it was first published in 1888, this story will be enjoyed by both adults and children. The books are also available in Afrikaans, Sesotho, isiZulu and isiXhosa.

for early graders Milly-Molly-Mandy’s Spring

By Joyce Lankester Brisley

popular since 1928

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R85) Milly-Molly-Mandy has lots of friends, but her favourite companions are Little-Friend-Susan and Billy Blunt. Together they have lots of exciting adventures and even get into trouble sometimes. Read about Milly-Molly-Mandy and her friends as they run races, pay visits, rescue little rabbits and play tricks on one another. These classic tales are as fresh and lively as when they were first written. Young readers will love discovering Milly-Molly-Mandy for the first time in a dainty, accessible format, and they’re sure to want to collect other titles in this charming series. In this edition, spring has arrived and Milly-Molly-Mandy and her friends can have even more adventures. Join them as they pick flowers, have a picnic and throw a surprise party.

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Horrid Henry’s Rainy Day and Horrid Henry’s Food

By Francesca Simon (Published by Orion Books, R153 and R76) In this early reader it’s raining and Horrid Henry is fed up. Until he decides to write his will. But why should Henry be the only one giving away his treasures? It’s much more fun getting stuff from other people. Horrid Henry’s Food is packed with all kinds of weird, hilarious and horrid information. Did you know, for example, that carrots used to be purple? It also answers some very important, and not so important questions. How long does it take for food to reach your stomach? Will eating crusts really make your hair curly? And if you really wanted to know: 1 000 species of insects are eaten, in 80 percent of countries. The Horrid Henry early reader series is perfect for children from the age of five to seven.

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for preteens and teens

for us local gem

This Book Betrays My Brother

By Kagiso Lesego Molope

(Published by Oxford University Press, R99) All her life, Naledi has been in awe of Basi, her charming and outgoing older brother. They’ve shared childhood laughter, secrets and alliances, the quirks of their parents, and stories of the adventurous boys from Kasi. At 13, Naledi is beginning her own adventures: Kitsano asks her to the matric dance, and she revels in a flurry of excited anticipation. Then, unexpectedly, Naledi sees Basi in an act that contradicts everything she believes about him. Set in the shifting South African landscape of the mid-1990s, this nuanced coming-of-age story explores the bonds of sibling love and loyalty, and a young woman’s role in a complicated world.

The Journey that’s Ours

By Gary Hirson (Published by Calm in Storm, R80) The Journey That’s Ours is a sequel to Hirson’s first two books, The Magic That’s Ours and The Power That’s Ours. It aims to help young teenagers as they embark on their journey of selfdiscovery and it introduces concepts such as how we think and how the mind attracts outcomes. The book continues the tale of the adventurous siblings, Joel and Jina, with more exciting lessons from “Magic”, who guides them through both fun and testing times. Jina must negotiate the stumbling blocks that prevent the realisation of a lifelong dream, all the while dealing with that most seminal of adolescent experiences – first love. Joel’s self-belief is sorely tested as he faces the pain of losing his girlfriend, alienating his best friend and dealing with internal strife.

The Last Train to Zona Verde

By Paul Theroux

A Walk Across the Sun

By Corban Addison (Published by Quercus Publishing, R129) Ahalya Ghai and her younger sister, Sita, are as close as sisters can be. But when a tsunami rips through their village on India’s Coromandel Coast, their home is swept away, and the sisters are the sole survivors of their family. Destitute, their only hope is to find refuge at a convent many miles away. A driver agrees to take them, but the moment they get into that car their fate is sealed. The two sisters – confused, alone, and totally reliant on each other – are sold.

On the other side of the world, Washington lawyer Thomas Clarke is struggling to cope after the death of his baby daughter and the collapse of his marriage. He takes a sabbatical from his high-pressure job and accepts a position with the Bombay branch of an international anti-trafficking group.

must read

(Published by Penguin, R217) The Last Train to Zona Verde is an ode to the last African journey of one of the world’s most celebrated travel writers. This time he sets out from Cape Town, through South Africa and Namibia, to Botswana, Angola and the Congo. Journeying alone, Theroux encounters a world increasingly removed from both the itineraries of tourists and the hopes of independence movements. He finds a different Africa: the improvised, slapped-together Africa of tumbled fences and cooking fires, of mud and thatch, of heat and poverty, and of roadblocks, mobs and anarchy.

parenting books If I Have To Tell You One More Time…

By Amy McCready (Published Jeremy P. Tarcher, R293) Why is it so difficult sometimes to get children to listen? You ask your child to turn off the TV, do her homework, or get ready for school or bedtime. You know she heard you, but she ignores you.

You ask again and still... no response. You’ve tried everything – time-outs, nagging, counting to three – and nothing seems to work. In If I Have to Tell You One More Time... founder of the popular online parenting course Positive Parenting Solutions, Amy McCready, presents a nag- and scream-free programme for compassionately yet effectively correcting your children’s bad behaviour. In this invaluable book, McCready shows parents how an understanding of Adlerian psychology can put an end to power struggles in the household. This approach focuses on the central idea that every human being has a basic need to feel powerful, with children being no exception.

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Learning Through Play

By Karen van der Merwe (Published by the Early Learning Resource Unit, R136) Learning Through Play provides detailed information on important play activities, which promote all aspects of development. It explains how to plan a programme with activities for children from the age of two to six years old. Creative art activities help children develop creativity and practise their small muscle skills. Make-believe play helps children develop emotionally and learn social and communication skills. Block play helps children develop their thinking skills, while educational games help them develop a range of thinking skills. Outdoor play is beneficial to develop large muscle skills, and numeracy and literacy games are incorporated in all of these. The books can be ordered from elru.co.za

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calendar

what’s on in june

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by LUCILLE KEMP

6

FUN FOR CHILDREN – p34

ONLY FOR PARENTS – p37

Children’s Peace Market Youngsters can participate in yoga activities and enjoy the play corner. Craft products made by children are also sold.

The Franschhoek Mystery Weekend The team randomly selects a range of adventures and creates unique mystery packages for couples.

bump, baby & tot in tow – p38

how to help – p38

Healthy Moms Programme Take part in safe, effective group or individual exercise sessions, both during and post-pregnancy.

Cape2Cape4kids A couple embarks on a cross-continent trek covering 27 countries to raise funds for the Nelson Mandela Children’s Hospital.

SPECIAL EVENTS – p32 Wacky Wine Weekend This year marks the 10th anniversary of the Robertson Wine Valley’s biggest annual wine festival, with “celebration” as the theme.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

thu

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calendar

13 thursday The Old Mutual Trophy Wine Show public tastings This tasting event showcases all the wines that achieved Trophy, Gold and Silver medals at this year’s judging. Time: 5pm–8:30pm. Venue: CTICC (Ballroom East), Convention Square, 1 Lower Long St. Cost: R150. Tickets are available at the door. The cost includes tasting glass, unlimited tastings and a take-home copy of ICONS, the show’s comprehensive review of all the successful wines of the year. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000

15 saturday

1 June – Paddle for the Planet

2 sunday

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 saturday Paddle for the Planet This global environmental initiative raises awareness and funds for marine conservation. Support the paddlers as they hit the beach for a 10km paddle to the lighthouse and back, which is led by gobal Paddle for the Planet ambassador Dawid Mocke.

Time: 8am. Venue: Fish Hoek Yacht Club.

Cost: R10 donation for a sticker. Other cash donations are welcome. Contact: 084 251 5555, dawid@themockes.com, visit paddlefortheplanet.org or visit their Facebook page: Paddle for the Planet

Winter Triple Trail Run Series #1 The short 7,5km distance is designed to encourage newcomers and families to participate. For children 10 years and older.

Time: 7:30am registration. Venue: Dirtopia Trail Centre, Delvera Farm, on R44 about 10km from Stellenbosch. Cost: pre-entries (closing on 29 May): R65; late entries (taken on the day): R75. Contact: 021 884 4752 or theteam@dirtopia.co.za

4 tuesday Drama Tots open day Experience part of the Drama Tots programme. Activities include a puppet show and an interactive drama class for moms or carers and tots to learn and have fun together. Also 6 June. Time: 9am–11am (1–2½ year olds) and 3pm–5pm (2½–4 year olds). Venue: call to enquire, Atlantic Seaboard. Cost: free. Contact Gene: 083 445 5978, info@ dramatots.co.za or visit dramatots.co.za

Napier Patat Festival Highlights include a half-marathon and 10km run, MTB race, vintage car and veteran tractor show, craft markets, art exhibitions, live music, children’s entertainment, a dance, fresh produce including sweet potatoes, stalls and more. Time: varies. Venue: Napier town centre. Cost: varies. For more info: visit napierpatatfees.co.za Zip Zap Circus School fundraiser Honeycomb Montessori presents the Zip Zap Circus School. Time: 11:45am–2pm.

Venue: Zip Zap Circus, Foreshore. Cost: R50 per person, free for toddlers under 2 years old. Contact: 021 794 3725 or admin@ honeycombpreschool.co.za

16 sunday Father’s Day braai at Spier Enjoy an indoor braai fest especially for dads. Time: 1pm. Venue: Spier Hotel Conservatory.

Cost: adults R200, children 4–12 years old R100. Cost includes wine pairing or grape juice and a gift for dads. Contact: 021 809 1100 or reservations@spier.co.za

6 thursday

6 thu

Wacky Wine Weekend This year marks the 10th anniversary of the Robertson Wine Valley’s biggest annual wine festival, with “celebration” as the theme. The passport includes a stylish tasting glass, free 25ml wine-tasting samples, a goodie bag with surprises as well as the programme highlighting special offers. All other activities during the Wacky Wine Weekend are “pay-as-yougo”, with many of the activities free of charge. Ends 9 June.

Time: varies. Venue: Robertson Wine Valley. Cost: R100 passport, valid for the weekend, must be purchased at your first stop at any of the participating wineries; for the Buddy Bus R127–R400 per person.

Contact: 023 626 3167, manager@ robertsonwinevalley.com or visit wackywineweekend.com

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Taste of Helderberg Enjoy some of the more than 100 local wines and signature dishes from seven eminent restaurants dotted along the Helderberg Wine Route. This year guests are able to mingle with at least 25 wine producers. Tickets are also available at the door. Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: participating venues along the Helderberg Wine Route.

Cost: R70 per person, which includes an elegantly branded wine glass. Contact: 021 855 1040 or bjorn@cvomarketing.co.za

7 friday The Camps Bay Preparatory School art auction Light refreshments are available.

Time: 6pm. Venue: Camps Bay Soccer Club.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 438 8075

9 sunday Let’s Beat It This South African Artists for Aids Awareness Concert is directed by performer Jimmie Earl Perry. The programme includes dance, theatre, jazz and adult contemporary music, and also commemorates Youth Day (16 June). It acknowledges unsung individuals who are doing great work in the HIV/Aids field and other areas of humanity.

Time: 7pm. Venue: Artscape Theatre. Cost: R100. Contact Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695 or Computicket: 0861 915 8000

and 9am–12pm on 19 June. Venue: The Drive, Camps Bay. Cost: free entry. Contact Kathy: 083 654 2494, info@kidzdiscovery. co.za or visit kidzdiscovery.co.za

22 saturday Trojan Warriors Men and women compete in various games and challenges. Children 13–17 years old also battle it out with events like the 021 Hip-hop Challenge, action ball, Jam Rock Teen Drummers and more. Ends 30 June. Time: 10am–1pm (teen show); 6pm–1am (adult show). Venue: GrandWest Casino, 1 Vanguard Dr. Cost: R50 per person, R30 for under 6 years old. Contact Bernadette: 083 300 0297, bernadette@trojanwarriors. co.za or visit trojanwarriors.co.za

28 friday Pick n Pay Knysna Oyster Festival This festival offers more than 100 events ranging from cycling, running and adventure races to wine and whisky tastings and gala evenings. The festival includes the Spur Rotary Knysna Children’s Cycle Tour for 2–9 year olds. Oyster-related events include the annual oyster-shucking competition, the oyster-eating competition, the Pick n Pay Oyster & Wine Mardi Gras and Oyster Hotspots that sell oysters in a variety of tastes and flavours. The Pick n Pay Young Oyster Festival features youth theatre, puppet shows, creative art workshops and cooking courses. The Knysna Sport School Sports Fair gives children the opportunity to try their hand at a variety of sports, free of charge. Ends 7 July. For more info and the full programme: visit oysterfestival.co.za or knysnacycle.co.za Winter Wonderland Carnival Gordon’s Bay is transformed with sparkling white lights as well as live music, warming winter fare, hot chocolate and roasted chestnuts, glühwein, art and crafts, the Ice Queen, Mr & Ms Wonderland and a beachside fun fair.

The Fairy Forest and Fairy Festival are sure to enchant all. Visitors are invited to dress up and enjoy the magical atmosphere amid the characters. Carnival ends 30 June. The lights are lit from 22 June– 23 July. Contact Jeanette: 083 625 1905 (sms), 185beachroad@mweb.co.za or visit winterwonderland.co.za

29 saturday 18 June – John Cleese Live

18 tuesday John Cleese Live The show is split into two parts. The first features John Maytham from 567 Cape Talk, who chats to John Cleese about life up to and including his Monty Python career. In the second half, Cleese focuses more on the hilarious Fawlty Towers, A Fish Called Wanda and other controversial and hilarious matters.

He also answers questions from the audience. Also 19 June. Time: 8pm.

Venue: CTICC Auditorium 1. Cost: R390, R450 or R510. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 Kidz Discovery Meet & Greet open day Learn more about, and register for, the Bridging Bright Start School and the Kidz Discovery baby and toddler classes. Also 19 June. Time: 2pm–5:30pm on 18 June

Christmas in Winter In true festive spirit the Tulbagh village is decorated with lights and Christmas trees, and Father Christmas rides through the streets with treats for the children. Enjoy traditional Christmas fare at one of the local restaurants or browse the art and crafts stalls in Church Street. Don’t miss out on the Rock with Santa party.

28–30 June – Winter Wonderland Carnival

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calendar Also 30 June. Time: 10am–4pm, Saturday; 11am–1pm, Sunday. Venue: Tulbagh Valley and Church St. Cost: R30 per festival pass. Entry includes visits to four national museums and wine tasting at the wine estates. Contact: 023 230 1375

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science CapeGators Kids Club On 8 June the club is running a pizza-making workshop.

Coming up in July there is a hip-hop dance workshop. For 3–13 year olds. Time: 11am.

Venue: CapeGate Shopping Precinct, Brackenfell. Cost: free. For more info: visit capegatecentre.co.za Free two-hour introductory fabric painting workshop Runs once a month in Pinelands. Adults and children welcome.

Time: 8:45am–10:45am. Venue: Pinelands.

Cost: R30 per kit. Contact Wendy: 021 531 8076, 082 391 4954 or wendyadriaan@ telkomsa.net Sue Nepgen’s children’s art classes The second- and third-term programmes include creative, painted clay work; framed tissue-paper collages; mixed media collaged pictures on board using inks; sketching; watercolour work, as well as drawing and painting techniques linked. Children may join in at any stage. For 4–13 year olds. Time: held in the afternoons and Saturday morning. Venue: Michael Oak Waldorf School, Kenilworth or 28 Klaasenbosch Dr, Constantia. Cost: R590 per term, including materials and firing.

Pro-rata fees for late joiners. Contact: 021 794 6609/4723, 083 237 7242 or snepgen@xsinet.co.za

family outings Paddle for the Planet 1 June. Time: 8am. Venue: Fish Hoek Yacht Club. Cost: R10 donation for a sticker. Other cash donations are welcome. Contact: 084 251 5555, dawid@themockes.com, visit paddlefortheplanet.org or visit their Facebook page: Paddle for the Planet

finding nature and outdoor play City Sightseeing opens annual 3-for-1 Kids Special City Sightseeing offers their 3-for-1 Kids Special where two children under the age of 18 can travel free on the red open-top bus or the Canal Cruise boat with any full-paying adult. Time: 9am daily.

Venue: Two Oceans Aquarium. Cost: R150 for the City Sightseeing bus and R30 for the Canal Cruise. Contact: 021 511 6000 or visit citysightseeing.co.za

holiday activities Artjamming winter holiday programme Monday: Andy Warhol workshop; Tuesday: the art of comics; Wednesday: Jackson Pollock splatter collage; Thursday: graffiti workshop; Friday: mosaic art workshop.

For 7–14 year olds. 24 June–5 July. Time: 10am–12pm daily. Cost: R135, including all materials. Venue and contact: Cape Quarter: 021 421 6129 or capequarter@artjamming. co.za; Cavendish: 021 683 5050 or ajcav@ artjamming.co.za; Paddocks 021 552 8772 or paddocks@artjamming.co.za; Willowbridge 021 914 9224 or willowbridge@artjamming. co.za or visit artjamming.co.za

classes, talks and workshops Children’s meditation classes These classes help to develop and nurture the children through meditation and positive thinking. With fun activities, games and art based on Buddhist philosophy, these classes are designed to draw out the inner peace in your child. For 5–12 year olds. 15 and 29 June. Time: 2pm–3:15pm. Venue: Tushita Kadampa Buddhist Centre, 21 Loch Rd, Rondebosch.

Cost: R30 per child, no need to preregister. Contact: 021 685 3428 or visit meditateincapetown.org Kindermusik with Lize holiday programme Children sing, dance and play while learning and developing through music. For 3 months–5 year olds. 4–6 and 11–13 June. Time: call to enquire. Venue: 265 Main Rd, Three Anchor Bay. Cost: R60–R70 per class. Contact: 072 101 8466 or info@kindermusikwithlize.co.za Tots n Pots cooking and baking workshop Children cook a variety of healthy snacks, meals and treats, such as cheesy potato-skin pizzas, salmon pastries, lemon biscuits and lasagne. Dates to be announced. Time: 3pm, every Wednesday and Thursday for 2–6 year olds; 9:30am, every Friday for 2–3 year olds. Venue: Constantia Tots n Pots, Stodels Café (please note this is a new venue). Cost: call to enquire. Contact: constantia@totsnpots. com or visit totsnpots.com

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Artjamming winter holiday programme

Bringing Water to Life Children have an opportunity to create a stop-motion animated film about, with and next to water. They create the story, develop the characters and the set, film it and add sound. For 6–11 year olds. 25–28 June.

Time: 9am–4pm, daily. Venue: Imperial Yacht Club, Zandvlei. Cost: R190 per day or R800 per week. Contact Tahirih: 084 873 4711, 4elementalkids@gmail.com or visit elementalkids.co.za Cricket School of Excellence winter coaching Students are taught the basics of the game including batting, bowling, etiquette, rules, fielding and general knowledge. For 4–13 year olds. 24–27 June and 1–4 and 8–11 July. Time: 2:30pm Monday–Friday. Venues: Rondebosch Boys’ High School; Herzlia Constantia; Jan van Riebeeck Primary School, Gardens; magazine cape town

Table Mountain Cableway Kidz Season Special Two children under 18 years old ride free of charge when an adult return ticket is bought over weekends, public holidays and during the June and September school holidays. Ends 31 October. Time: from 8:30am. Venue: Tafelberg Rd. Cost: R205 per adult return ticket, which includes two children under 18 years old. Valid on return fares only. Contact: 021 424 8181 or visit tablemountain.net

Parklands College Secondary School; Durbanville Cricket Club and Van der Stel Cricket Club, Stellenbosch. Cost: R220 per one-on-one session, R500 per fourday clinic. Contact: 0861 123 273, 084 249 9969, info@cricketschool.co.za or visit cricketschool.co.za Gordons sports and play day camp They offer half- or full-day activities facilitated by qualified staff in a safe environment. For 5–14 year olds. 24 June–12 July. Time: 8am–1pm, 12pm–5pm or 8am–5pm; Monday–Friday.

Venue: 9 Hill Park Lane, Mowbray. Cost: half-day R75; full day R150. Contact Lana: 021 686 9213, info@gordonsct.co.za or visit gordonsct.co.za Holiday swimming booster clinics They run two-, four- or five-day clinics in two indoor, heated pools. One-on-one and group lessons are also available. 24–28 June and 8–12 July. Time: choose a time slot, call to enquire. Venue: 104 Queen Victoria Rd and 36 Franklin Rd, Claremont. Cost: from R140. Contact Rochelle: 021 674 7681, headstartswim@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page: Headstart Swim School Mud holiday activities Children explore all the amazing things that can be done with mud through a mud kitchen, mud painting, mud construction and mud science with lots of space created for them to pursue their own ideas. For 6–11 year olds. 24–28 June. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Kirstenbosch Stone Cottages, Newlands. Cost: R190 per day or R800 per week. Contact Tahirih: 084 873 4711, 4elementalkids@gmail.com or visit elementalkids.co.za Kids holiday art workshops Children participate in creative art and craft workshops through different mediums. For 5–12 years old. 25 and 27 June; 2 and 4 July. Time: 10am–12:30pm. Venue: Tudor Rd, Tokai or Westcott Primary School, Diep River. Cost: R220 per session including materials, juice and biscuits. Cost: R200 per session if more than one session is attended. Contact Mel: 072 356 7127 or godfreymelanie@yahoo.co.uk magazine cape town

Kidz Discovery Fun Factory holiday club For children 3–8 years old. On Tuesday and Thursday there are sessions for children under 5 years old. Wednesday is the art club for children 5–8 years old.

24 June–12 July. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm, Monday–Friday. Venue: The Drive, Camps Bay. Cost: R140 per child per morning includes snacks, baking and craft materials.

Contact Kathy: 083 654 2494 or info@ kidzdiscovery.co.za Kirstenbosch Winter Wonders The garden offers activities such as storytelling, the popular puppet show, an adventure walk and craft work using things from the garden. 24 June–12 July. Cost: free entry for children 6–17 years old. Contact: 021 799 8783 or to see full programme details, visit sanbi.org.za

24 June–12 July – Kirstenbosch Winter Wonders

Kronendal Holiday Club Activities include art and crafts, drumming, baking, a mountain hike, a walk to the beach and swimming. They welcome children of all ages from any school. Time: 8am–6pm. Venue: Kronendal Primary School, Andrews Rd, Hout Bay. Cost: until 1pm R80 (bring your own snack), until 3pm R110 (includes lunch and a snack), until 6pm R140 (includes lunch and a snack). Contact: 076 402 2333 or joannefrost.s.a@gmail.com June 2013

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calendar Learn to swim The holiday camp runs over five or 10 days. 25–28 June or 25 June– 5 July. Time: choose a time slot between 9am and 5pm. Venue: Observatory. Cost: R300–R500. Contact Nikki: 083 747 9196 or info@flippersswimschool.co.za

22 sat

markets Children’s Peace Market Children get to participate in yoga activities and enjoy the play corner. Craft products made by children, eats and treats are also sold at the market. 16 June. Time: 10am–4pm.

Venue: Ananda Kutir Ashrama, 24 Sprigg Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: free entry. Contact: 084 919 4864, mala@live.co.za or visit anandakutir.org.za Jolly Carp Organic Market For fresh organic produce, slow food, cakes, crafts and more, you’ll find it all here. There is an enclosed garden and eco-friendly play area. Time: 10am–3pm, every Saturday.

Venue: 38 Sasmeer Rd, Retreat. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 761 5411, 074 302 3254 or visit their Facebook page: Jolly Carp Organic Market Munchkins Market Quality, secondhand baby or toddler goods to sell or buy at affordable prices. 1 June. Time: 8am–12:30pm. Venue: 3rd Pinelands Scout Hall, cnr Stellenberg Ave and Rustenberg Rd, Pinelands. Cost: free entry. Contact Marina: 083 687 4214 or Lauren: 082 291 6423, munchkins.market13@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page: Little Munchkins

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Make way for Noddy Join Noddy, Big Ears, Tessie Bear and all their Toyland friends. It is Tessie Bear’s birthday so Noddy writes her a song, but everyone he meets feels it is not an impressive present. What should Noddy do?

For children 2–8 years old. Ends 6 July. Time: 10:30am. Venue: Artscape Theatre Foyer, DF Malan St, Foreshore. Cost: R60. Book through Artscape Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695 or Computicket: 0861 915 8000

My Favourite Things Baby & Kiddies Market Good quality baby and child products under one roof. Lego has a craft table and competition, plus plenty of food.

Enter your children 10 years and younger into the children’s MTB race. 15 June. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Stellenbosch Square Shopping Centre. Cost: free entry. Contact (for the bike race): 021 884 4752 or info@ dirtopia.co.za

playtime and story time

on stage and screen

Kirstenhof Dance and Pilates Studio They offer ballet, modern, hip-hop dancing and belly dancing classes. Pilates classes in private or group sessions also on offer. Time: call to enquire. Venue: 14 Windhover St, Kirstenhof. Cost: varies. For a free trial class, contact Liane: 021 701 2750, 082 739 0100 or lianepenny@gmail.com Melani School of Dance workshop A dance workshop in ballet, modern, hip-hop and more. For 7–18 year olds. 24–26 June.

Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Melani School of Dance Studio, 1A Koeberg Centre, Charles Hoffe Ave, Melkbosstrand. Cost: tbc.

Contact Melani: 082 783 3054, 074 103 1456 or melanischoolofdance@gmail.com Teddy Tennis at The Glen Country Club Tennis for children aged 2–8 years old, accompanied by music.

Time: Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons. Venue: The Glen Country Club, Clifton. Cost: call to enquire. Contact: 083 679 0731, mark@teddytennis.com or visit teddytennis.com

LazyTown Season 3 The multi-awardwinning, pre-school show is back with a new series. There are more madcap exploits and challenges for superhero Sportacus and his friend, Stephanie. TV premiere date: Monday 17 June, 7:30am CET on Cartoonito on DStv channel 301 Mornings Times Two on Nickelodeon Every they are screening double episodes of Fairly Odd Parents, Penguins of Madagascar, Fan Boy & Chum Chum, Sponge Bob and Tuff Puppy. Starts 17 June on DStv channel 305.

Time: 9:10am, Monday–Friday Mother Holle This is the story of a widowed mother and her two daughters. The only permanent puppet theatre in South Africa is celebrating their 21st anniversary. For children 4 years old and up. 1, 8, 15, 22 and 29 June. Time: 10am and 11:15am. Venue: Constantia Waldorf School, Spaanschemat River Rd, Constantia. Cost: R20. Contact: 021 783 2063, therainbow.puppettheatre@ gmail.com or visit waldorfconstantia.org.za

Café Paradiso baking project Parents relax while little ones choose to bake gingerbread men or chocolate-chip cookies, ice cupcakes or make a pizza.

Each project runs 15–20 minutes. Time: 9am–7pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 10am–7pm, Sunday. Venue: Café Paradiso, 110 Kloof St. Cost: R45. Contact: 021 423 8653

sport and physical activities

magazine cape town

Yoga workshop 26 and 27 June. For ages 4–12 years old. Classes don’t exceed 6–8 students per class. Time: 2pm–4:30pm.

Venue: Lila Health & Wellbeing, 201 Bree St. Cost: R325 per child. Contact Nicole: 083 377 9248, info@lila-yogatherapy.com or visit lila-yogatherapy.com

and Collective Soul show off their musical mastery in this one “Super Group”. 8 June. Time: 8pm. Venue: GrandWest Grand Arena, Goodwood. Cost: R375–R700. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 Madame Zingara’s Miracle Tour Time: 8:15pm–10:45pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: The V&A Waterfront’s Victoria Wharf open air parking, opposite Aston Martin, cnr Dock Rd and Breakwater Boulevard. Cost: R385– R1 250 per person. Contact: 0861 623 263 or boxoffice@madamezingara.com

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Aqua Fitness workshop This gives you the opportunity to try several different aqua workouts. 1 June. Time: 12pm. Venue: Aqua Fitness Studio, 36 Franklin St, Claremont.

Cost: R100, including refreshments. Contact: 021 674 3640, 083 627 2553, info@ aquafitness.co.za or visit aquafitness.co.za Dynamic domestic training with Stir Crazy They offer hands-on training for domestic workers on a variety of recipes as well as kitchen skills, how to use equipment, kitchen etiquette, and the correct techniques and cooking methods.

4, 6, 11 and 13 June. Time: 9am–12:30pm.

Venue: 423 Main Rd, Observatory. Cost: R1 500 for a 4-session course. Contact: 021 447 0323, noleen@stircrazycatering.co.za or visit stircrazycookingschool.co.za Family and Friends CPR 1 June. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Constantiaberg Mediclinic, Plumstead. Cost: R250. Contact Kathy: 021 705 6459, training@pec.co.za or visit pec.co.za

out and about 19 June–14 July – Jersey Boys

Father’s Day cooking delight For dads and a child or partner. 18 June. Time: 6pm–10pm. Venue: Stir Crazy Cooking School, 423 Main Rd, Observatory. Cost: R650 for two people. Contact: 021 447 0323 or visit stircrazycookingschool.co.za Hout Bay Montessori Virtues programme The programme is a comprehensive curriculum used at the school. Ideal in helping to support your child in developing a culture of character at home and in the classroom. For parents of 3–12 year olds. 13 June. Time: 3pm–4pm. Venue: 4459 Main Rd, Hout Bay. Cost: free. Contact: 021 790 3309, montehb@telkomsa.net or visit houtbaymontessori.co.za Sensory profiling for teaching teams The workshop encourages self-development and shows teachers how to minimise

stress and increase wellness. 3 June. Time: 1:30pm–5pm. Venue: Kenridge Primary School, Kenridge, Durbanville. Cost: R385 per person; R325 for groups of four or more.

For more info: visit sensoryintelligence.co.za

on stage and screen Jersey Boys The multi-award-winning, Broadway hit musical tells the true-life story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. 19 June– 14 July. Time: 8pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 3pm, Saturday; 2pm and 6pm, Sunday. Venue: Artscape Opera House. Cost: R100, R190, R290 or R390. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or for more info: visit jerseyboyssa.co.za Kings of Chaos Eight original musicians from Guns n Roses, Def Leppard, Velvet Revolver, The Cult, Deep Purple, Skid Row

Ballroom Bands Festival Local bands showcase their repertoire of ballroom, jazz and pop music, allowing you to waltz, foxtrot, tango, cha-cha and jive. 1 June.

Time: 5pm–11pm. Venue: Grand Arena, GrandWest Casino. Cost: R150 downstairs dancing; R100 Mezzanine level seated only.

For more info: ballroombandsfestival@gmail. com or visit their Facebook page: Ballroom Bands Festival CT Cook Franschhoek Make the most of a series of interactive, hands-on demonstration kitchens, presented by some of the valley’s highly acclaimed chefs and winemakers as well as a prepared and paired meal.

The demonstrations take place throughout the weekend. 14–16 June. Time and venue: varies. Cost: varies per demo. Contact: 021 876 2861 or for a detailed programme visit cookfranschhoek.co.za or book through webtickets.co.za

family marketplace

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calendar

how to help

Comrades Marathon for Snap Charlene Irwin, whose son has dyspraxia, is running the Comrades Marathon on 2 June to raise funds for the Cape-based Snap (Special Needs Adapted Programme), a non-profit association that offers countrywide services for children with autism as well as ADD, dyspraxia and specific learning problems. Due to the highly specialised nature of this schooling, it is the most expensive form of education in the country.

You can donate via the Snap website, Ref: RUN and your name. Alternatively, donations can be made to Charlene to be presented to Snap after the race. A full statement of the account will be available to all those who donate. For more info: cirwin@sweetvalleyprimary.co.za or visit snap.org.za/index.php/please-donate

The Calitzdorp Port and Wine Festival Renowned port producers Axe Hill, Boplaas, Calitzdorp Cellar, De Krans, Du’SwaRoo, Peter Bayly, TTT and Withoek host the festival. 14–17 June. Time: varies. Venue: Calitzdorp Railway Station and the various wine cellars and village venues. Cost: varies.

For more info: visit portwinefestival.co.za The Franschhoek Mystery Weekend The Franschhoek Wine Valley team randomly selects a range of Franschhoek adventures and creates a unique mystery weekend package for couples. This means that you have no idea where you’re staying, where you’re eating or what other experiences are in store for you. 7–9 June. Time and venue: confirmed on arrival. Cost: R2 340 per couple, per weekend. Contact Carmen: office@franschhoek.org.za

support groups LGBTI Parents Support Group The group meets for either a discussion for parents around issues like nutrition, discrimination and education or for a casual play date for the children of LGBTI Parents. Time: 7pm–8:30pm for the parents’ session and 2:30pm–4:30pm for the children’s casual play dates. Venue: Elta House 2nd floor, 3 Caledonian Rd, Mowbray and Millstone Ecovillage, Pinelands. Cost: free. Contact: 021 686 1475, health2@triangle.org.za or visit their Facebook page Proud 2B–LGBTI Parents or visit http://triangle.org.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

Plumstead 7 June, Claremont 10, 22 and 26 June, Camps Bay 13 June, Rondebosch 15 and 20 June, Fresnaye 18 and 19 June, Blaauwberg 20 June. Time: varies. Cost: R350, which includes basic first aid kit.

Contact: 079 492 4385 or cdvantonder@ gmail.com Moms and Babes Claremont A weekly play activity programme, developed by an occupational therapist and physiotherapist specifically for babies 2–12 months. Time: 10am and 3pm, Monday–Thursday. Venue: Claremont. Cost: call to enquire. For more info: visit momsandbabies.co.za Prenatal yoga classes Time: 5:30pm– 6:30pm, every Thursday. Venue: Lila Health & Wellbeing, 201 Bree St. Cost: R615 for a 10-class pass or R340 for a 5-class pass. Contact: 083 377 9248, or visit lilayogatherapy.com Postnatal yoga classes For moms and babies. Take a warm blanket for your baby and small toys for babies 4 months and older. Time: 10am–11am, every Wednesday.

Venue: Lila Health & Wellbeing, 201 Bree St. Cost: R615 for 10 classes or R340 for 5 classes. Contact Nicole: 083 377 9248 or visit lila-yogatherapy.com

playtime and story time Babies Read Books puppet show and storytelling For babies and toddlers every Tuesday. Professional storyteller Sharon Geffen is in attendance every second Tuesday. Time: 9:30am. Venue: Kloof Street Library, 122B Kloof St. Cost: call to enquire.

Contact: 021 424 3308

classes, talks and workshops

support groups

Beautifully Born hypnobirthing antenatal classes Plumstead: 22 June–20 July. Time: 8:30am–11am, every Saturday.

Venue: Birth Options, 12 Victoria Rd, Plumstead. Contact Charlene: 082 223 0549, charlene@beautifullyborn.co.za. Fish Hoek: 23 June–21 July. Time: 3pm–5:30pm, every Sunday. Venue: Angela-the-Midwife Practice, 4 Amsterdam Ave, Fish Hoek.

Cost: R1 650 per couple. Contact Charlene: 082 223 0549, charlene@beautifullyborn. co.za or visit beautifullyborn.co.za Healthy moms programme They offer safe and effective group or individual exercise sessions, both during and postpregnancy. Time: call to book individual appointments. Venue: Lander and Pursad Biokineticists, Sports Science Institute, Newlands. Cost: R430 initial consultation, from R95 per class thereafter. Contact: 021 659 5647 or biokinetics@ssisa.com Infant and child CPR, choking and basic first aid course Date and venue:

La Leche League’s Breastfeeding Support Groups Kenridge: 3 June. Contact Marna: 021 975 9214. Durbanville: 18 June.

Contact Trudy: 021 913 2816 or Tiffany: 021 913 3586. Parklands: 8 June. Contact Kim: 082 330 5352. Parow: 19 June. Contact Dilshaad: 021 930 2475. Milnerton Mediclinic (venue change for June): 10 June (9:30am).

Contact Juliet: 021 556 0693. Parklands Intercare: 26 June. Contact Simela: 021 553 1664. Paarl: 4 June. Contact Jonette: 021 872 5297. Rondebosch: 11 June.

Contact Becky: 021 531 2485. Fish Hoek: 4 June. Contact Tammy: 021 782 9240.

Stellenbosch: 11 June. Contact Olga: 082 062 0206 or Francia: 082 940 9685.

Malmesbury: contact Selma: 083 265 5458 for telephonic help. Napier: contact Emma 082 696 3584 for telephonic help. Time: 10am, unless otherwise stated. Cost: free.

For access to a forum and more info visit Lalecheleaguesouthafrica’s Facebook page or visit llli.org.

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Cape2Cape4kids A couple is embarking on a transcontinental trek, covering 27 countries and 28 000km. They want to raise funds for the Nelson Mandela Children’s Hospital. Donate to Cape2Cape4kids through Just Giving. The Hannaths are funding their own journey so 100 percent of all donations will be given directly to the hospital. For info, latest updates and to donate: visit cape2cape4kids.co.za Ladder to Literacy This literacy project in the informal settlement, Kosovo, needs new sponges, child-size dustpans and brushes, jars, paper, pencils, pink cardboard, sandpaper and brooms. Monetary donations are also welcome. Deliver to ELF Montessori Teacher Training, 28 Main Rd, Mowbray.

Contact Claire: 021 685 8119 or visit elfmontessori.givengain.org Operation Smile This charity provides free and safe, reconstructive surgery for children and young adults born with cleft lip, cleft palate and other facial deformities.

Services offered include post-operative care, counselling and speech therapy. To donate: visit operationsmile.org Oranjezicht City Farm The OZCF is a project that celebrates local food and community, and hopes to use vegetable gardening as a tool for building social cohesion. The hope is that the farm will support itself by selling the vegetables it grows, compost, seedlings, T-shirts and more, and operating a tearoom. They need funding and volunteers. For more info: visit: ozcf.co.za The Chaeli Campaign Enrichment Centre The centre needs to raise R2 million by 15 June to buy an extra house. They will then be able to accommodate both special needs and able-bodied children. Donate directly into their bank account or make a secure donation through Givengain. For more info: visit chaelicampaign.co.za or givengain.com

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

Operation Smile

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to capetown@ childmag.co.za or fax it to 021 462 2680. Information must be received by 24 May for the July issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published.

To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

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magazine cape town

June 2013

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it’s party time

continued...

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finishing touch

you’re not alone Parenting is one of the most challenging tasks you’ll ever tackle,

Erin, Anél and Conor

i

have been thinking a lot about parenting recently. Okay, that’s not much of a newsflash, given that I am part of the team that produces a magazine on parenting, and that I am mom to two toddlers. But I mean I have really been analysing my approach to parenting, and evaluating my performance as the parent of children under the age of three. And nothing brings your childrearing skills under the microscope quite like a four-hour road trip followed by a two-night stay in a singleroomed log cabin. Throw two coughing children into the mix, and a husband who was MIA for several hours to run a marathon, and you have the ideal substrate for a full-on test of your parenting prowess.

And while I did not envy Craig having to battle it up the Outeniqua Mountains in the morning mist, I have to admit that

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I was most envious of the four-odd hours he had to himself during the race. Like Craig, I was also up at 4am, but that was because Conor had rolled out of his makeshift bed and wedged himself behind the door. This of course woke up Erin, who had just dozed off after a night of incessant coughing. From then on, it was full-steam. We played cars, we got ourselves stuck in the shower and we glued my business cards to the magazine I had brought along in the hope of having a quiet, afternoon read; eternal optimist that I am. Erin decided she would practise her potty skills, and went to the toilet about 15 times. This would have been fine, if she hadn’t wanted me to “come and see” every time she sat down. Fortunately, Craig’s race ended at the campsite where we were staying, so I could carry the children to the finish line to see him.

The rest of the weekend passed in a sleep-deprived blur. While comfortable, our accommodation was not the most

child-friendly, and I spent most of the time acting as a human safety gate so Conor would not launch off the cabin’s steps. I tried telling myself to appreciate the nature around us and to enjoy quality time with the children, but I was too exhausted. And this made me irritable, which then made me feel guilty about being a bad parent.

When I got to work on the Monday, elated to reclaim my handbag and pens and to feel like me again and not “Mommeeeeee”, I opened Facebook to discover that my feelings were not unique.

At least two of my parent friends had posted insightful and sincere blogs about the relentlessness of being a parent. In the one, a pastor (stevewiens.com) writes that while he loves his children’s quirks and antics, “There are also many moments when I have no idea how I’m going to make it until their bedtime. The constant demands, the needs, and the fighting are fingernails across the chalkboard every single day.”

The gist of his message is that you are not a terrible parent for having these feelings. “You’re an actual parent with limits. You cannot do it all. We all need to admit that one of the casualties specific to our information-saturated culture is that we have skyscraper standards for parenting, where we feel like we’re failing horribly if we feed our children chicken nuggets and we let them watch TV in the morning.”

Looking back, with a few more hours of sleep in the bag, I can honestly say that the weekend wasn’t all that bad. Conor took his first unaided steps during one of our pit stops en route, and Erin and I got to read for more than an hour in bed, as there was no TV to distract us. But next time we go, I think I’ll pack my running shoes – just in case.

Anél Lewis is Child magazine’s former features editor. She’s unsubscribed to the parenting newsletters that make it sound as if it’s all rainbows and playdough cakes, and has signed up for next year’s marathon in the mountains.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: STEPHANIE VELDMAN

but it helps to know that you’re doing just fine. By ANÉL LEWIS