Child magazine | CPT June 2014

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

fun

ways to keep your children busy over the holidays

the

parenting issue the healthy way to sleep train do you take note of age restrictions?

www.childmag.co.za

June 2014

free

assessing developmental milestones

health

parenting after a break-up

education

entertainment

Hunter House PUB L IS H ING

Welcome to the parenting issue.

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial

We receive a steady stream of emails at Child magazine from parents desperately seeking help. I can empathise. Some days parenting feels like I’m running an obstacle course – clear one hurdle and the next one looms. My daughters have their ups and downs, which is normal, but the downs make clearing those hurdles seem impossible.

Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Quite honestly, parenting often seems like a series of face-plants, because I can’t prevent my foot from catching the crossbar.

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • studio@childmag.co.za Mariette Barkhuizen • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations

a wicked sense of humour. They make me laugh till I cry and I have to sit down holding my stomach. Most often, the laughter is at my expense, but they are not averse to a healthy dose of selfdeprecation either.

When my family laughs, I know all will be well, now and when my children leave home – just as long as they keep coming back for mealtimes, filled with the laughter that expresses triumph over the trials and tribulations of life.

Lisa Waterloo • ctsales@childmag.co.za

And yet, despite everything, parenting is still the most fun to be had on the planet. You see, my daughters have

Subscriptions and Circulation PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: BROOKE FASANI

Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts

Happy Father’s Day! It’s precious to be one and to have one. I miss mine so much.

Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

Cape Town’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios,

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June 2014

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contents june 2014

11 upfront

regulars

3 a note from lisa

8 upfront with paul Paul Kerton gives

6 over to you readers respond

advice on how to protect our children from the winter chill

10 pregnancy news – designer babies Tamlyn Vincent looks at DNA

features

testing on embryos

16 reasonable restriction Christina Castle admits that age restrictions have a place in this world

19 separate parenting when parents split up, children should not suffer.

Daniel O’Connell gives some advice

22 the meaning of milestones Lisa Lazarus explains early developmental assessments for preschoolers

24 reaction time parents should have an action plan for children who suffer from severe allergies. By Vanessa Papas

26 balancing me-time moms need to know when to let go and when to be present. By Helena Kingwill

28 the boomerang child Gary Koen explains the essence behind this modern family phenomenon

11 best for baby – put your fears to bed if you stick to a routine, the battle against babies not sleeping is almost won. By Lucille Kemp

12 dealing with difference – hair today, gone tomorrow is your child suffering from hair loss? It might be Loose Anagen Syndrome, says Marina Zietsman

30 resource – a club for everyone the holidays are sorted with this handy guide of activities and programmes for children.

Compiled by Lucille Kemp

34 what’s on in june 42 finishing touch children are like sponges, so we have got to watch ourselves, says Cassandra Shaw

43 a good read for the whole family

health 9 where there’s smoke...

Vanessa Papas warns against the debilitating effects of second-hand smoke

classified ads 37 family marketplace 39 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by: Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

Claudia De Nobrega Photography • claudiadenobrega.com

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letters

over to you

au pair blues I employed an au pair, because as a mom I thought that’s what was best for my child. I could barely afford it, but did it for my child’s wellbeing. I was also desperate to find someone of the same faith (Muslim), thinking that we would have similar values. Au pairs of my faith are very hard to come by, so I was very limited. I conducted a few interviews and chose the one that I thought best suited our family. She turned out to be a nightmare.

After a couple of months, her true colours showed. Here are my tips for parents who are looking at employing an au pair…

Check all the information. Check qualifications such as first-aid certificates. Even if a copy of a certificate is supplied, phone the company offering the course to double check. If no work reference numbers are given, find the company’s phone number on the internet.

Applicants not supplying contact information are more than likely hiding something. Don’t only check references for childcare experience. This is important with regard to absenteeism and the nature of the person. The more you research, the more you will find out. Don’t be satisfied with one good reference. Contact all references, even if a reference letter is supplied. Check that the applicant did the work they claim to have done on their CV and not merely that he/she has worked there. By law an

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June 2014

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

employer has to supply the employee with a certificate of service. The reference letter should also preferably be on a letterhead. Phone the company and speak to the person referenced. I am aware of a case where the applicant had arranged for a friend to pretend to be the former employer. Be wary of applicants who have gaps in their employment history, even if such gaps seem justified, such as illness. Be wary of applicants who have short periods of employment. Just because an applicant is educated and has a good vocabulary does not mean that they are mature or responsible enough to look after your child or any other child for that matter. Look out for websites that only act as a platform for au pairs to chat. These websites don’t necessarily do training and placements. Draw up a three-month contract for a new au pair so that you may test the waters.

Nuraan Adam

congrats, child magazine!

Huge congratulations on Child magazine turning 10; more specifically I would like to commend you and your contributors for the incredible work that you do. To have witnessed the magazine’s growth over the years is inspiring. You have taken the education of parents and teachers to another level. I am often referring parents and teachers to articles in your publication. This

is a magazine that is, in my mind, of an international standard, both in its content and the progressive philosophy of childhood that underpins all its articles.

This truly is a South African magazine to be proud of, and the fact that parents and teachers are able to access this resource free of charge is nothing short of incredible.

Though I am a small contributor to the educational landscape of our country and have a very small voice in the greater scheme of things, please accept my heartfelt thanks and gratitude for the amazing work that you are doing.

Justin Skea Preparatory School Head, St Cyprians, Cape Town

thanks for a great read My day begins well when I drop my daughter at preschool and find our copy of Child magazine on her shelf. I loved Nicole’s letter titled “loving vermin” (May 2014).

If she weren’t already in the field of creative writing or journalism, I would recommend she consider it. Wellwritten and beautifully descriptive, she had me grinning through the entire piece as I pictured this interesting household and could so identify with the whole scene.

Keep up the great work Child magazine.

Liesl

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the school uniform debate In reply to Suzy Oliveira’s letter (April 2014) on expensive school uniforms: it is unfortunate that the cost of school uniforms is so stifling. Maybe the parent body can explore different options.

Our school has a shop, where learners who have outgrown their uniforms, or don’t need them for some reason, donate their uniforms to the shop and they are then sold at a fraction of the price. The monies go to the school or they go to another worthy cause.

Another option would be to put pressure on the school to adopt a standard uniform that can be reasonably purchased at chain stores. If a badge is necessary, then that could be sold separately and sewn onto the shirt or blazer by hand. Perhaps this would reduce the cost. There might be other feasible alternatives, but this initiative must come to the school from the parent body.

Michele Engelberg

online response In response to the online article “tub time” where Tamlyn Vincent gives five bath time activities for children to play in the tub and learn at the same time I love these ideas. Definitely gets me thinking differently about bath time with my daughter and son. I have

Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine

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always allowed my children to play in the bath, but this definitely brings bath time to a whole new level. I am going to start incorporating these ideas and it sounds like fun times ahead. Thank you for a great magazine. I look forward each month to receiving it from my children’s school. A very informative and interesting read.

Anonymous In response to the article “easing the itch of baby eczema” Our little boy had terrible eczema. We tried various remedies, but nothing worked. About a year ago I stumbled across a range of local hypoallergenic products for children. With some advice from their chemist and a new body care regime, which cut out all synthetic products and petrochemical-based products, he’s been eczema free ever since.

Jean In response to the online article “bullying – the parent’s guide” At my daughter’s school someone wrote “Loosa” on a picture that a girl drew of herself. These pictures were put up in the corridor of the primary school, which houses Grade RR to Grade 4. I am quite perturbed by this as it is extremely unusual that someone

randomly picked her picture and wrote over her face. This form of passive-aggression is cowardly, hurtful and plain mean. How can children be so cruel?

Concerned parent My daughter just started Grade 2 at a new school and there is a boy in her class who is always calling her names, shoving and tripping her. I brought this to the teacher’s attention. She promised to look into it and then suggested moving my daughter to another class.

My question to her was: “Why is the bully not moved?“ Her response was that the boy has been at the school since last year and my daughter is still new, so she can make friends in a new class.

I refused the teacher’s suggestion, because I feel we will be telling my daughter that it is her fault that she is being bullied by moving her to another class and, in doing this, it may encourage the boy to bully other children.

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We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

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June 2014

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b

rrr, winter is upon us, which means cold, and if you live in Cape Town, also wet weather. Here are seven things you need to do, or not do, to winterproof your children and insulate them from the rigours of the down season...

Don’t let them skip breakfast Children miss breakfast because they are lazy, not because they aren’t hungry. Halfway through the morning their tummies will rumble and a body starved of nutrients, carbs and protein will pillage these from their vital organs, leaving them feeling weak, light-headed and unable to concentrate. Insist that they eat something.

Make sure they wear warm clothes You’ve probably spent a small fortune on hats, scarves, snoods, coats, gloves and boots. Don’t be fooled by their cries of “but I’m warm enough” when they are stretched out in their underwear on the underfloor heating. Lock them out in the garden for 10 minutes to simulate waiting at the school gate, and then see if they are still warm. (Tip: always name every item of a child’s clothing. They will forget stuff. Frequently.)

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winter-proof PAUL KERTON suggests a few things we can do to insulate our children from the chill.

Get everybody up half an hour earlier Everything takes longer in winter. There are more layers to consider, so coordinating clothes and getting dressed can be an obstacle course. Food and drinks need to be warmed up, and then there’s driving in the rain to slow things down even more... so get your family moving earlier.

Take vitamins and cod liver oil Administer whatever works for you to stem the tsunami of infections from the classroom. And if your child gets sick, leave them at home. Start a course of vitamin C in advance and boost their immune system so that when everyone else sneezes over them, they can fight the germs. A flu jab is also a good idea, if you believe they work.

Be careful of slippery surfaces We tend to be a bit blasé in South Africa because it doesn’t really get much below 10 degrees unless you are on the Lesotho border. But the winters are trending colder, so beware of even a slight hint of frost because a broken leg or arm is not fun.

And watch the roads, because a skid is no laughing matter either.

Break out the board games and the required spirit with which to play them. You will be spending a monumental amount of time inside, and you don’t want your little anti-social treasures locked in their bedrooms glued to a screen all day playing in private. Encourage them to play a “family” game and talk together.

Teenagers may sniff the air, but once they get into it, even they will have fun. Release the competitive instinct. Forget all that wussy “it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game” nonsense. (Tip: make sure Aunt Mavis doesn’t cheat again.)

Stock up on tasty treats and snacks to dip into throughout the day. It helps if these are reasonably healthy.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

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ILLUSTRATION: MARK VINCER

upfront with paul

health

where there’s smoke…

Second-hand smoke puts your child at risk of developing

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chronic diseases. By VANESSA PAPAS

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

oung children are more vulnerable to second-hand smoke than adults. “This is because their developing lungs receive a higher concentration of inhaled smoke than older lungs,” says Ayesha Seedat, a registered dietician at the Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa. “Children also have a faster breathing rate – as many as 60 (inhalations) a minute compared to that of a normal adult at 14 to 18 times a minute, which means they inhale second-hand smoke faster than adults.”

Babies and children exposed to second-hand smoke on a daily basis have more than triple the risk of developing lung cancer later in life compared to those growing up in smoke-free environments. “Their risk of having breathing problems, ear infections and tooth decay are also increased, along with serious illnesses such as meningitis, asthma, tuberculosis, heart disease and cancer. Babies exposed to second-hand smoke have an increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome, or cot death, while smoking during pregnancy leads to increased risks of miscarriage, still birth, low birth weight and premature birth. Children of mothers who smoked during pregnancy are more likely to develop asthma by the age of seven and more likely to suffer delays in their physical and mental development,” says Seedat.

what’s in that puff?

Magdalene Seguin, clinical specialist at the Cancer Association of South Africa (Cansa), says exposure of children to tobacco smoke is especially harmful in confined areas, indoors and in cars. “Second-hand smoke consists of both the smoke that is exhaled from the lungs of smokers and the smoke that is given off by burning tobacco between puffs. There is no safe level of exposure to second-hand smoke and even brief exposure can be harmful.” About half of the children worldwide, around 700 million, are exposed to second-hand smoke, particularly at home.

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She adds, “A single cigarette smoked in a room with poor ventilation generates much higher concentrations of toxic substances in the air than normal, everyday activities in the city. Toxic compounds from second-hand smoke linger in the air for an extended period of time; its nicotine compounds are deposited on household surfaces and in dust. The air quality inside a car with someone smoking is worse than the air quality found in smoky pubs.”

smoking regulations The Tobacco Products Control Act of 1993 makes health warnings on cigarette boxes law, prohibiting tobacco sales to persons under the age of 18 years old and regulating smoking in public places. Cigarette advertising and sponsorship has been banned since 1999. Adults may not smoke in a car when there is a passenger younger than 12 years old. Smoking is not allowed in premises, including private homes used for commercial childcare activities such as crèches, schooling or tutoring. The tobacco industry may not use “viral” marketing such as themed parties to target young people. Cigarette vending machines that sell tobacco products cannot be used to sell crisps, chocolates and other products that would appeal to children.

did you know?

Apart from nicotine, more than 4 000 dangerous chemical compounds are created in the smoke of a burning cigarette. At least 40 are known carcinogens that cause cancer in humans and many are highly poisonous. They include substances such as butane, found in lighter fuel, cadmium, found in batteries and formaldehyde, also used to preserve dead bodies.

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pregnancy news

designer babies

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magine being able to give children a life free from the worry of genetic disease by eliminating genetic abnormalities from the very start. With the development of genetic testing on embryos, these possibilities are a reality.

Preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) is being done more frequently with in vitro fertilisation (IVF), to test embryos’ DNA before putting them back in the womb. Dr Lawrence Gobetz, an infertility specialist in Joburg, explains that there are two reasons to biopsy embryos. The first is to perform preimplantation genetic screening (PGS), where the number of chromosomes is checked. If there aren’t 24 chromosomes, the embryo is at risk of Down’s syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. PGS can improve the success rates of pregnancy, says Jaysen Knezovich, laboratory director at Genesis Genetics. “Embryos that are genetically normal are more compatible with life,” says Knezovich, so failure rates are reduced.

But Gobetz cautions that it’s possible to find no normal embryos, especially with older couples, thereby excluding them from IVF. Preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), the other reason to biopsy embryos, is done to exclude genetic diseases such as Tay Sachs or cystic fibrosis, that one or both parents have or carry, says Gobetz. A specific test is designed around the genetic profiles of the parents, to identify a genetic condition in an embryo in order to eliminate it.

For many couples, going through fertility treatments is a difficult experience. Taryn, a mom in Cape Town, found her treatments stressful and invasive, especially when she and her husband didn’t know what the problem was. “PGT provides insight into the possible reason for pregnancy failures,” says Knezovich, which is valuable for the doctor and patient, especially if it means preventing the trauma of more pregnancy losses. Taryn points out that treatments are expensive anyway, so she would rather pay more for these tests and have answers. And couples that discover IVF isn’t a viable option will at least have that answer.

DNA testing on embryos can provide hopeful parents with

going forward

For some people, the issue isn’t the cost but the ethics. There are religious arguments and others claiming potential misuse.

Thanks to advances in DNA profiling it could soon be possible to get all sorts of genetic information from an embryo, giving rise to concerns about creating designer babies.

According to Knezovich the debates are mostly unresolved.

In the meantime, genetic testing is helping to build healthy families, although there are legal regulations. An embryo’s sex can be determined, for example, but performing gender selection without a sound medical reason is illegal in South Africa.

Genetic testing still has a long way to go, with new methods only in experimental phases. And even when they do become available they are likely to be very expensive. For now, Gobetz hopes that PGT will become more cost effective in the next few years, giving more couples the chance to have a healthy child.

the answers they need, but is it right? TAMLYN VINCENT

family value While PGD can help to exclude genetic diseases, it can’t tell how many chromosomes an embryo has. So Gobetz says it makes sense for couples doing PGD to also do PGS, but this is costly. PGS currently costs around R22 000, while PGD can cost R35 000 for one test.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

takes a closer look.

best for baby

put your fears to bed Your child will be sleeping if you stick to routine, are consistent in your efforts and you go about training good

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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sleeping habits gently and lovingly. By LUCILLE KEMP

ape Town-based mom Trudy found herself sleep deprived and frazzled for three straight years. Her first-born, Phyllis, just wouldn’t sleep. “The first time I considered sleep training was when Phyllis was about nine months old. Controlled crying was the method advised,” she says. An accumulated 90 minutes into the first (and last) session, Phyllis was inconsolable, Trudy’s last nerve was well and truly worked and she had kicked her husband out of the house. On many other desperate occasions Trudy would stow away in her car in an attempt to drive her restless daughter to sleep – Milnerton to Melkbos and back – to no avail.

Phyllis’s sleep problems may have become infinitely more resolvable if Trudy had known the advice of Sister Lilian Paramor: “With little ones the goal should not be to sleep through as their parents have been led to believe.

Finding practical ways of getting sufficient rest, even if not in one long stretch, is actually what is called for.”

While you may be advised, how you get there is your call. “If co-sleeping is working for your family, why change

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it? However, if co-sleeping is affecting your marriage or no-one is sleeping anyway, you may need to check your routine,” says Sister Ann Richardson.

teaching healthy sleeping patterns “The central aim of all sleep training is to train a baby to go to sleep without help,” says Anne Gethin and Beth Macgregor in the book Helping Your Baby Sleep. Given this, Sister Ann says to be aware of the “awake” time of your child as this will help you focus on preventing overtiredness, over stimulation and overfeeding, which all too often causes a desperate parent to fall back on feeding, rocking, bouncing or going for drives to induce sleep.

Keep your environment as womb-like and conducive to sleep as possible – wind down in the late afternoon to foster a calm atmosphere in the home.

When you’re in the throes of sleep training, things can get hairy and experts’ advice seems to repeatedly point to finding ways for calm to reign. The Parent Centre in Cape Town, which runs a moms’ circle, says that parents find a lot of comfort in sharing their experiences and lessons with

each other: “Some moms have tried leaving a night light on, playing a CD softly in the background and ensuring that TV noise is kept to a minimum.” Sister Lilian advises that you “don’t count the number of times your child wakes at night; in fact, pretend like it doesn’t matter. Don’t jump at the first sound your baby makes, but don’t ever let them cry inconsolably either. Plan ahead for wakeful nights by having everything at hand that you might need – keep the lights low and conversation to a minimum as you do what you have to right there in bed so that all that needs to be done is simply cuddle down together to continue sleep.”

helpful reading • S ister Lilian’s Babycare Companion by Lilian Paramor (NB Publishers) • Sleep Sense by Ann Richardson and Megan Faure (Metz Press) • Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach (Knopf Publishing Group)

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dealing with difference

hair today, gone tomorrow When grown-ups start losing hair, we often joke about it, but hair loss in children is no laughing matter. MARINA ZIETSMAN looks at Loose Anagen Syndrome.

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our six-year-old daughter has short, thin, fair hair. When she wakes up in the mornings, clumps of her locks are left behind on the pillow. When she removes her swimming cap, she also removes bunches of hair. When a friend accidently pulls her hair while they play, she pulls out a batch of hair. Loose Anagen Syndrome (LAS) is not physically painful, but it can be psychologically damaging.

medically speaking LAS is a recently diagnosed syndrome, which is believed to be a genetic disorder.

Research has shown that the syndrome affects mostly girls between the ages of two and six years old who have fair or blonde hair. According to the American Hair Loss Association, it is not clear why the hair is loose, “but the root sheaths that normally surround and protect the hair shaft in the

For daily care, Titus suggests the following: “Five percent Minoxidil solution applied twice daily helps to stimulate the hair follicles and prolong the growth cycle. Aminexil and procapil can also be used as it keeps the hair longer in the growth phase. It also ensures better anchorage of the hair follicle and improves circulation.” Titus recommends that you use good shampoos designed to stimulate hair growth as well as conditioners to lubricate and nourish it, “but get these products from reputable companies.”

It’s also important to be gentle when washing LAS hair and to gently massage the scalp, as this stimulates the blood flow, which brings nourishment to the roots and stimulates growth. “Sufferers should also drink enough water and consider a proteinrich diet because hair consists of keratin, a protein material,” says Titus.

There is no cure for LAS, but in most cases the condition improves as children grow older and disappears completely in puberty.

dealing with LAS There is no cure for LAS, but in most cases the condition improves as children grow older and disappears completely in puberty. Elma Titus, a trichologist with over 35 years’ experience, suggests parents should consult a dermatologist or trichologist if LAS is suspected. Trichology is a branch of dermatology that deals with the scientific study of the health of hair and the scalp. Specialists will perform two basic tests to confirm LAS: the hair-pull test and the hair-plug trichogram.

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how to explain it to your child Natalie de Gouveia, a registered counsellor and play therapist from Linksfield in Joburg, says it may seem daunting to try explaining LAS to your child, especially considering you don’t have all the answers. De Gouveia gives three tips to help you through the process: • educate yourself “Find out all there is to know about LAS; the causes, the symptoms and treatments,” says De Gouveia.

• establish how severe your child’s case is “Every case is unique and the more you understand your specific situation, the better you are equipped to handle it and explain it to your child,” she adds.

• talk to your child about the condition “Keep the explanation age-appropriate,” says De Gouveia. “If your child is three magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

skin are not produced properly.” It also seems that because the root sheaths are not fully formed, the hair fibre is poorly anchored in the hair follicle. It may also be a keratin disorder, which is hereditary.

years old, you shouldn’t use technical terms that will confuse them. Keep it simple: ‘Do you know how your brain tells your eyes to open and close? Well, something in your brain is telling your hair not to grow properly.’” De Gouveia says as a child grows older you can give more detailed explanations. Then reassure your child: “Tell them that boys and girls of all ages and races can get LAS. No-one knows yet why this happens, but it is not because of something they did. The good news is that LAS just makes hair fall out. It doesn’t hurt or make you tired, like the flu or chicken pox. You can carry on playing and having fun.”

coping with the emotional effects of LAS in the classroom...

Having LAS, or any other physical deformity, can be isolating and make a child feel vulnerable. “For a child who is ‘different’ from their peers, teasing, stares and general isolation may be common,” says De Gouveia. This will inevitably lead to a low self-esteem. It could also lead to the child avoiding school, which will negatively impact academic performance.

“A child in this position is aware of her difference and, if unaddressed, feelings of shame and guilt will accompany the already muddled feelings,” De Gouveia says. “Because of the shame involved, the child may actually feel that their ‘problem’ is not something to talk about.”

De Gouveia reiterates that it’s important for parents of a child with LAS to provide support structures in all areas of the child’s life, including school. Approach the child’s school directly, and together with the teachers assess whether this is an issue of confidentiality. “If this is the case, the child and parents’ wishes need to be respected,” says De Gouveia.

“LAS itself, after all, will not hold the child back from being involved in social and school activities. If confidentiality is not an issue, teachers can help by educating peers about LAS.” She says peers become more aware of what it feels like to be “different” when a caring and supportive environment is created.

Activities designed to awaken tolerance, awareness and respect should help the child with LAS feel comfortable in the classroom and in social situations.

and at home…

“You’ll be surprised at how many people are going through the same situation and who share your feelings,” says De Gouveia, who recommends that parents find a support group. “If your child is being bullied or struggling with low self-esteem, you may want to attend therapy.” Your child will be able to express himself in a safe, comfortable way while gaining confidence and learning that they are not that different after all, just unique.

how LAS presents itself • Hair is lustreless and does not grow.

• Sparse growth of thin, fine hair and patchy baldness, and hair that does not grow longer.

• Hair can be easily and painlessly pulled out of the scalp, though the hair is not fragile.

• Hair at the back of the head or skull tends to be rough and does not lie flat.

• Hair also appears frizzy, unmanageable and unruly.

• You will find decreased hair density and unruly hair, especially in children.

• LAS hardly ever presents itself in other parts of the body that have hair.

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your child’s life

reasonable restriction

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CHRISTINA CASTLE confesses to pushing the boundaries of age restrictions without even realising it, but admits they’re there for a good reason.

kay, confession time. My children grew up on a diet of Monty Python. There was no escaping it. I blame their father for this and he quite happily accepts full responsibility. I think he’s proud of it actually. “Better than Bieber,” he’d say. And while my eldest was quite entertaining when he performed his own rendition of “silly walks” in a Grade 2 “show and tell” to an audience that may have found him just a little bit quirky, my youngest’s recital of “sit on my face and tell me that you love me” to a class of eight year olds was neither entertaining nor quirky. It was just downright out of line.

Whether you like it or not, age restrictions are applied to much of our media and entertainment in an attempt to protect our children from subject matter that is just not appropriate. While these age restrictions work primarily as a guide, it is the responsibility of parents and caregivers to practise them. And no matter how vigilant we may be to restrict our children from viewing and experiencing unsuitable material, they are going to be exposed to it.

movie marathon instead. Between Cape Town and Sydney he watched three movies with age restrictions beyond his years.

“You watched Django Unchained?” I asked in disbelief as we stood at baggage collection.

“Mom, it’s an Oscar-nominated movie,” he replied, as if that made it any better.

“It’s a Quentin Tarantino film. It’s so inappropriate.”

And just for the record, I did watch Django Unchained on our flight back to Cape Town, and yes, it did require damage control. Lots of it. It’s a great movie though, just not for 13 year olds.

gaming While many TV and computer games are absolutely harmless, there are some that are “so not”.

And, wait for it, another confession – we own a few of the “so not” variety. I put it down to ignorance on my part. Oh, don’t get me wrong, my boys knew exactly what they were getting when they begged me to buy them Grand Theft Auto (with their pocket money, I must add). “We play it all the time at Michael’s.” I just didn’t pay any attention to the age restriction on the box. I didn’t even think to look for it. I grew up in an era of Space Invaders and Pac-Man. But ignorance is bliss, until you realise your children are blowing each other’s virtual brains out.

Games like these, exposed to the incorrect age groups, can be damaging. Games like these are now sitting in my underwear drawer. They’ll never think to look for them there.

movies and tv shows I recently took a long haul flight with my 13 year old. I sleep well on a plane. My son, however, does not and opted for a

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While you can control what your children watch in your own home or at the cinema, you can’t necessarily control the movies and TV shows your child is going to be exposed to outside the home. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve told my sons they can’t watch a particular movie at home because they are simply not old enough, only to be told “but I’ve seen it before – at Henry’s place.”

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

While you can control what your children watch in your own home or at the cinema, you can’t necessarily control what your child is going to be exposed to outside the home.

books

social media

Around the age of 12 my boys both discovered Spud. Everyone was reading it. And while I was over the moon that they had finally picked up a book and were so keen to read, the content (although highly appropriate for what they were soon to become) was, I felt, a little out of their reach. My husband (who is a boy) rolled his eyes and called me a prude. So I got over it and they klapped the series in no time.

However, there are some little readers who are years ahead of their age in terms of their reading abilities and perfectly capable of flying through the likes of The Hunger Games or The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Seductive vampires and reality killing shows are a bit different to a 13 year old who is waiting for his testicles to drop.

My advice: read what they are reading. Chapter for chapter if need be. It’s a great way to connect with your child and opens the way for interesting conversation on sometimes difficult or challenging subjects. Also, you’ll be exposed to a whole genre of books that you won’t necessarily find at book club.

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music and concerts Little Monsters beware! While I hear Lady Gaga puts on a fabulous show, it may be a little hard for some six year olds to digest. Or even the odd 46 year old. Am I being a prude again? No-one could have predicted that giant vagina. And I am just so glad I didn’t have to explain that one to an unsuspecting Little Monster.

But let’s not only point fingers at Lady Gaga; commercial music in general is loaded with dodgy lyrics, innuendo and visuals. And while most of it goes straight over those beautiful little heads, there will be something that sticks. We are exposed to it through every electronic medium, whether we like it or not. Listen to what your child is listening to. And flip that switch if you don’t think it’s appropriate.

This is a scary one and requires vigilance on your part particularly. The concept of social media is still quite new to us.

And while the likes of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest are a great way to connect with friends and other social networks, they also expose users to potential threat and danger. We need a certain maturity to operate in that space and need to understand the consequences. Many teens and adults get it wrong. How can we expect a tween to get it right? The age restriction for many social media platforms is 13. Yet there are so many children younger than 13 on these networks with their parents’ consent – potentially exposed to strangers every time they go online.

Parents need access to their children’s social network profiles no matter how old their children are. They need to say “you are too young for this, now go outside and kick a ball.”

Oh dear, I think I may have said too much. And best I end this article before I incriminate myself further. But let me attempt a little redemption first by asking that you acknowledge and respect these age restrictions.

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your child’s life

classifications In South Africa, there are eight classifications that the Film and Publication Board applies to film: A: It means an all-ages category that is suitable for all.

PG: It means an all-ages category, but cautions sensitive viewers and indicates that parents and caregivers are in the best position to decide whether or not a child in their care may view the film or DVD for home entertainment purposes.

7–9: It means that the material is not suitable for children under the age of seven.

A parent or caregiver may decide if the material is appropriate for children ages 7–9 in their care, and if it is of particular entertainment or educational value for such children. Children of 7–9 years old may not be allowed to watch a film classified 7–9 unless accompanied by an adult.

10–12: It means that the material is not suitable for children under the age of 10.

A parent or caregiver may decide if the

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material is appropriate for children and to decide whether or not it is of particular entertainment or educational value for children aged 10–12 in their care.

Children from the ages of 10–12 years old may not be allowed to watch a film classified 10–12 unless accompanied by an adult.

16: It means that the material is not suitable for persons under the age of 16.

18: It means that the material is not suitable for persons under 18 years old.

Know your letters. These often accompany the above classifications: S – Sexual activity V – Violence L – Language P – Prejudice N – Nudity B – Blasphemy H – Horror D – Substance abuse SV – Sexual violence Classifications for TV and computer games are different and can be viewed at the Film and Publication Board website: visit fpb.org.za

X18: It means only a holder of a licence to conduct the business of an adult premises, set out in section 24 of the act, may distribute the film to persons older than 18 or exhibit such content to such persons within such premises.

XX: It means the material may not be distributed or exhibited in public by anyone and also not in the adult premises set out in section 24 of the act. In the case of child pornography it may also not be possessed anywhere.

magazine cape town

parenting

separate parenting

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Children often get the raw end of the deal when their parents split up. DANIEL O’CONNELL

i

explains how separated parents can put their children first, despite their personal issues.

t’s often said that parenting isn’t for the faint-hearted.

One year after starting the legal struggle for fair time with my children, I know this to be true.

Most of you reading this will already know the struggle that comes with parenting – schedules shattered, sleep stolen and for some, incomes under increasing pressure.

But one of the more unfortunate and ugly facts of parenting in South Africa is just how many of us end up having to do it alone.

The “unfortunate” aspect is not related to the hard work it is for the single parent, but rather to the children being

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deprived of seeing their parents all of the time (assuming that the parents are devoted to their children).

Having been through the process, I wanted to know what effect this deprivation may have had on my children, so I turned to family and school counsellor Anne Cawood.

“Children verbalise how much they miss seeing each parent when they are with the other one,” says Cawood.

“Time, which should be relaxed and ‘normal’, can become very intense and somewhat unnatural. A parent who has not seen the child for a week may try to spend every minute of a precious contact weekend with the child. It is

really challenging to find the balance and to try to make this precious time less intense.”

in search of the high road The good news is it shouldn’t have to be that way. To borrow from business and political terminology, we can identify the high and the low roads and choose the one we wish to follow.

The high road would be you and your once significant other raising your children with similar values, with the aspirational crest on that track being the occasional

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parenting

picnic and movie together with the little ones. I’ve seen it happen, with varying degrees of success; some are comfortable in the company of their ex, and will even accept their new partners.

Recently a former neighbour told me of a divorced friend who (prior to the separation) had been frequently cheated on. Despite these understandable grounds for resentment, she recognised that his infidelity had nothing to do with her children’s relationship with their father.

Apparently the children’s time today is split equally between the parents.

couples manage to work together as co-parents. But there will always be those who refuse to engage in an amicable relationship. This is the low road in separated parenting.

It’s a lonely path where the ability to hear the other parent is sacrificed at the altar of a range of relationship evils, such as anger, insecurity and hatred, none of which have any connection to what is likely the best thing they ever produced – their children.

Every interaction becomes a battlefield littered with the corpses of

The ability to talk things out, whatever the circumstances of the break-up, should override all else, because you now have children.

If the elements of the story are to be believed, it suggests an emotionally mature attitude on behalf of the woman scorned. Very likely in emotional pain, she nevertheless put her children first.

Cawood, who encourages parents to aim for an amicable working relationship after separation or divorce, says it is an exceptional attitude “to be able to work through negative emotions in a safe space – away from the children, so that they are able to remember that the children still have two parents who will be in their lives for a very long time.”

the lonely path Cawood says that from her experience about 50% of separated and divorced

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miscommunication, misinterpretation and sometimes even good intention. It’s a landscape that you don’t wish to visit, especially when the little ones are around.

This is where mediators earn their money.

The problem is that it’s easy to talk the talk and smile before a mediator and mutual friends. Just as it is easy to bark at the other parent when together with the children and no-one else is around.

“Children definitely do pick up even the smallest hostile vibe,” says Cawood. “They develop an effective radar system, which alerts them to the stresses and emotional and physical negatives around them. They watch body language and also pick up bits of conversations – and put their own connotations to them. For this reason, magazine cape town

A’s question of “why” may seem normal to some, but it’s not as clear-cut as one may think.

Cawood says nutrition is a big issue between parents: “In my experience, it is often a side-effect of an acrimonious post-separation relationship. For example, if one parent prescribes a healthy, low sugar diet, the other will often (consciously or unconsciously) dig their heels in and disagree. Food just becomes yet another ‘weapon’ to aim at the ex... and the children become the losers.”

In a world where the effects of an over-supply of sugar and eating too much, such as diabetes and obesity, are easily accessible via the internet, our choices should be simple. Cawood says when she has facilitated in situations where nutrition has become a battlefield, she finds that the power struggle decreases when she calls in a professional, such as a nutritionist.

If the issue of food is a warzone, other aspects of the relationship are likely to be similarly affected. Just think of education, religion, and even possible new relationships. In such cases, it’s difficult to think of a life without mediators, facilitators, psychologists and lawyers.

I always advise parents to never make unnecessarily negative comments about the other parent. Try to always remember that children deserve to have the best possible relationship with each parent.”

warzones A child’s future happiness and development doesn’t allow for our wounded egos and insecurities. Deep-rooted or not, we have to get over ourselves. If I’ve learnt one thing about becoming a parent – whatever my faults – it is that you grow up almost overnight, with a new set of priorities the next morning.

The ability to talk things out, whatever the circumstances of the break-up and however hard it is, should override all else, because you now have children.

Communication is even more critical now – between the parents, with the children and when all of you are together.

You may have read all the books and “Dear Mary” columns in magazines, but if you don’t have a common language in which you communicate post-separation, the parenting will suffer.

There are many ways in which miscommunication reveals itself. Take food, that glorious battlefield on which our children eat. Ideally, we’re all wellread, and aware that over-feeding children – especially on the wrong stuff – isn’t healthy. Let’s assume that a child loves oats, and cold Rooibos with honey and lemon instead of juice. That makes Parent A happy. Parent B insists on sugary cereal and fruit juice instead, with the occasional chocolate milkshake at bedtime. Parent magazine cape town

the way forward For the first-time separated parent, it can be like living someone else’s life. If we keep it simple, the best we can hope for is to focus on the children. Our futures as divorced and separated parents should be clear – we are no longer together, and parenting separately.

If you really love your children, don’t spoil them – that’s just projecting your own stuff. What children really need is love and attention rather than countless objects.

And teaching them to “want” and “expect” before they can speak properly surely carries its own large question marks. More toys and chocolates are not going to make their mommy and daddy live together again, or the situation disappear, but it will leave them with issues not of their own choosing, which is nothing short of cruel.

We all know that children are resilient, but Cawood nevertheless issues what I was going to refer to as a cautionary note – although I think “warning” is a more apt word: “Parents need to be aware that their children will be emotionally affected by unskilled, immature and hostile communication between them.”

It’s simple. There really is no alternative.

The situation is what it is. We have to move on and do what is best for our little ones. “It all depends on the parents...

If parents are okay, their children will be too.”

Anne Cawood deals with many of these issues in her book, Adjusting the Boundaries: Helping Children and Teens Cope with Separation and Divorce (Metz Press).

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education

the meaning of

milestones

Are you concerned that your child is developmentally delayed? LISA LAZARUS explains how early developmental

y

assessments work for preschool children.

ou know the type: the parent who, with studied indifference, “lets slip” that her five year old is reading Harry Potter or that her son, just four, can swim the length of a 50-metre pool, whereas your child can’t even hop without falling on his face. And then you panic. It seems that not only schools but we ourselves are continually ranking children. How seriously should we be taking milestones during the preschool years?

When it comes to milestones, there are many “grey areas”, says Dr Kirsty Donald, a paediatric neurologist at Red Cross Children’s Hospital. She explains that a milestone refers to a range of ages during which a behaviour – motor, cognitive or social/emotional – should occur. Milestones are based on the assessment of large cohorts of children in developed countries. The cut-off age is the age at which 95% of children are expected to have achieved a specific competence.

Let’s say your child is racing through her milestones – could you have a genius on your hands? Donald explains that even though early language assessment is probably the best predictor of later cognitive outcomes, assessments at a young age are better at picking up developmental delays than predicting later academic success.

“Some gifted programmes in the United States,” says Donald, “conduct early developmental assessments when the child is three; however, a third to half of those children selected for giftedness only exhibit mediocre academic achievement later in life.”

For Jan Murray-Nobbs, principal of The Hill, a preprimary school in Cape Town, there is an educational benefit in assessing where a child is missing his milestones. “Gaps or unidentified lags in any of the developmental spheres can compromise a child’s learning experience and readiness for further learning,” she says.

However, both Donald and Murray-Nobbs stress that milestones need to be taken in context. Donald means that you need to look at all areas of a young child’s development and not focus purely on the missed milestone. “With young children there is a tendency to emphasise motor milestones, such as walking, but if you only pay attention to this

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June 2014

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

what milestones mean

milestone and not the entire development of the child, then a problem could be missed,” she says. In addition, you need to assess how far away the child is from reaching the milestone. The cut-off age for walking is 18 months; however, a child who is cruising at this age and meeting all his other developmental milestones is quite possibly fine.”

A paediatrician needs to evaluate whether the missed milestone is a problem in the bigger picture, and also whether the delay is due to an underlying physiological reason.

Even an allergy or an iron deficiency could keep a child awake at night, cause her to underperform or miss her milestones.

dealing with delayed milestones Nikki McMahon works as a freelance web developer in Gauteng and has three children, aged nine, five and three. Her youngest, Juno, has spina bifida and sacral agenesis, a rare congenital condition in which there is abnormal foetal development of the lower spine.

As a result, most of her physical milestones are delayed and there are also cognitive and speech delays, although these may not be due to the underlying condition. On the basis of assessments, Juno is about one year delayed cognitively, particularly her expressive speech.

“Some days she’ll have conversations that make us think she’s come so far, and then other days we’ll despair and wonder if those ‘wow days’ ever really happened,” says Nikki.

Jenny Perkel, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Cape Town, explains that because of the competitive nature of many schools and society, developmental delays are challenging for many parents. However, bear in mind that children are “astute and aware of people’s reactions” and any kind of embarrassment or disapproval is likely to be picked up by them. Perkel acknowledges that it’s difficult for parents to hide their true feelings and that they should rather “get in touch with how they feel through seeing a professional and making some kind of peace with the situation”.

Nikki says that making comparisons, particularly of children the same age as Juno, is problematic. “In order to move forward I have learnt not to do this, because it has a negative impact on my daughter and the rest of the family,” she says. “I make a conscious effort to treat Juno as an individual, growing and learning at her own pace – although I still fail at this regularly.” One of the most helpful things Nikki has done is to form friendships with other moms who are going through similar experiences.

Clearly, assessing milestones in young children is important, primarily to pick up delays and their causes. Next time a parent sidles up to you to brag about her child’s advanced development, know that very little is predictable in the long course of a lifetime.

developmental traits that should concern you Talk to your doctor if your child does the following at three years old: • has unclear speech or drooling; • has difficulty working simple toys, for example turning handles or simple peg boards; • doesn’t use sentences or understand simple instructions; • no pretending or make-believe play; • has no interest in playing with other children or toys; • doesn’t make eye contact and • has lost skills once possessed.

• doesn’t use “me” and “you” correctly; • is unclear in speech and • has lost skills once possessed.

At five years old: • no wide range of emotions; • exhibits extreme behaviour such as being unusually fearful, aggressive, shy or sad; • c an’t focus on an activity for more than five minutes and is very easily distracted; • responds to people superficially or

At four years old: • unable to jump in place; • has difficulty scribbling; • shows lack of interest in interactive games or make-believe; • ignores other children and shows no response to people outside the family; • shows resistance when it comes to dressing, sleeping and using the toilet; • unable to retell a favourite story; • u nable to follow a command of three parts; • can’t understand the terms “same” and “different”.

not at all; • can’t differentiate the real from the made-up; • doesn’t engage in a variety of games and activities; • unable to give first and last names; • plurals and past tense are not used correctly; • d oesn’t

talk

about

everyday

activities and experiences; • doesn’t draw pictures; • unable to brush teeth, wash and dry hands, or get undressed without help and • has lost skills once possessed.

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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June 2014

23

health

reaction time When faced with a child having a severe allergic attack, time is of the essence. VANESSA PAPAS explains why an action plan

ore and more cases are being reported worldwide of children dying or suffering multiple heart attacks at school following a major allergic attack. A recent survey by Pharma Dynamics, which involved 800 learners between the ages of 10 and 18 and teachers from independent, government and Model C schools across the country, found that none of the students nor the teachers knew what to do in case of a severe allergic attack, putting children’s lives at risk.

According to international studies the incidence of anaphylaxis (a serious allergic reaction that is rapid in onset and may even cause death) is on the increase. It’s as simple as a teacher offering a child a treat for good behaviour, without knowing about the child’s allergy, or children sharing their lunchboxes with their friends who may be allergic.

Dr Michael Levin, head of the division of paediatric allergy at the Red Cross Children’s Hospital, explains that the main causes of allergic attacks in children is foods, with peanuts being the biggest culprit. Other foods include milk,

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egg, wheat, soy, fish and shellfish. Certain medications can also cause reactions, such as antibiotics (penicillins and cephalosporins), painkillers (aspirin, NSAIDS, opiates) and radio contrast media (X-ray based imaging techniques).

Bee and wasp stings are also a major cause. Rarer causes are blood products, vaccines and allergen extracts in people undergoing injection immunotherapy.

“There are certain common signs that indicate a child is having a severe allergic attack,” says Levin. “Look out for urticarial rashes (hives), angioedema (swelling) and tingling of the palms and soles. Signs of severe anaphylactic attacks include upper airway (high-pitched ‘grating’ sound, coughing, throat clearing) or lower airway (wheezing, difficulty breathing) obstruction, abdominal issues (pain and vomiting), loss of blood pressure (leading to fast weak pulses and loss of consciousness) and central nervous signs (feeling of panic or extreme lethargy).”

Levin says it’s important that parents and teachers know the difference between a mild episode and a severe

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

m

is essential to ensure your child is treated quickly.

anaphylactic attack. “For mild attacks, an antihistamine is usually sufficient, but the child should not be left alone. They should be closely observed, their relatives called, and if they have an adrenaline injection (such as epipen), it should be urgently located in case the attack progresses. For severe attacks the adrenaline should be injected into the large muscle of the thigh immediately.

If the child is asthmatic a dose of their reliever pump should be administered (six to 10 puffs, one at a time) and the antihistamine given. The ambulance must be called and notified that this is an emergency. If there is no improvement in five minutes a second dose of adrenaline should be given.”

living with an allergic child

our power to avoid nuts, we have had a few close calls.

A friend brought around some homemade soup a family member had cooked for her. When Ross broke out in hives and started complaining of stomach cramps I knew he was having an allergic reaction, but had no idea where the nut products had come from. After investigating, it turned out that the vegetables in the soup had been sautéed in peanut oil. There have been a few other cases over the years, so we always have to be on our toes.”

Lori explains that having a food allergic child changes what you would think of as a “normal” life. “You develop a new ‘normal’ where you read labels on every new product you consider buying. You adapt recipes, leaving out the nuts if they are present and can be left out. You always ask if your child has his meds on him when he goes anywhere.

And you worry a lot when they go out on trips with their school or with friends. My son has also had to accept his condition. He has developed a system where he asks about ingredients before he eats anything that is not homecooked. He’s had to endure bullying at school (boys in his class throwing peanuts at him) until the school was alerted to it and put a stop to it. He used to be very paranoid about nuts and coming into contact with them, but has calmed down as he’s grown older. I have become an allergy advocate as a result. My biggest achievement has been educating and training the staff of my child’s school in recognising an allergic reaction and what to do about it.”

It’s important that parents and teachers know the difference between a mild episode and a severe anaphylactic attack.

Lori Bentley from Joburg knows first hand how challenging it is to have a child with a severe allergy. At just days old, Lori’s son Ross was diagnosed with eczema and later developed asthma. When he was five years old he suffered a near-fatal severe allergic attack.

“He was bouncing on a hammock that had collected a layer of pollen and had a severe asthma attack from inhaling the pollen,” says Lori. “We were just lucky because I saw him within seconds of the reaction and rushed him to hospital, where they treated him and then told me he was critical. He tested positive for seven airborne allergens as well as peanuts and is at risk of life-threatening anaphylactic attacks. While we have done everything in

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allergy action plan • E nsure your child’s school is fully aware of his or her allergies.

• Provide the school with emergency contact information and clear procedures for handling medical issues.

• Explain the early warning signs of an allergic attack to your child’s teachers so they can be alert for early symptoms.

• Provide the school with multiple adrenaline auto-injectors to use in case of anaphylaxis and be sure to check the expiry date. Teachers should also be shown how to administer the medication regularly.

• Be sure that your child fully understands his or her allergies and knows what they can and cannot eat or be exposed to.

• Send special snacks and treats your child can eat so he or she doesn’t feel left out on special occasions.

• Get a medical bracelet for your child to wear.

For guidelines on how to treat children suffering from an allergic attack or how to use an adrenaline autoinjector, parents and teachers can visit allergysa.org or allergyexpert.co.za To connect with other parents of children with allergies, visit Facebook /AllergyEpicentre or allergyepicentre.wordpress.com

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25

family life

balancing me-time for your children. By HELENA KINGWILL

ost of us don’t regularly allow time to tune in to ourselves and our families. We’re often too caught up with tedious tasks, such as doing the dishes or paying the rent. But making time for ourselves and our children should be prioritised over the pressures we create for ourselves. It’s as important as our health. We shouldn’t wait for the wheels to come off. In her book Mother-Daughter Wisdom, Christiane Northrup puts it well: “When the fuel required for mothering and nurturing others is not replenished regularly, breakdowns and failures in the nurturing system manifest as depression, anxiety and even violence that affect both mothers and children.”

If the wheels come off you are no good to anyone, so taking time to create a calm and peaceful inner and outer space is an excellent investment. “Your children are the direct beneficiaries of you taking time for yourself and looking after your personal space,” says Cape Town parenting counsellor Karen Quail. She explains that we will be in a better space mentally and therefore more capable of engaging properly with our children. In order to find this time, it’s essential to clear

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June 2014

space to create a calmer and more ordered life, advises Quail. This requires a very conscious discernment about our daily choices.

routines and rituals Clearing space for quality time requires decluttering the home as well as the daily schedule. “It’s about realising that when you say ‘yes’ to something – such as a commitment to be on another committee, a social engagement or another extramural activity for your child – you are automatically saying ‘no’ to family time or time for yourself,” says Quail.

When we are overwhelmed by the busyness of our lives, it helps to create chunks of time for each activity, advises Josie Brincat (50), a single mom from Durban.

“It’s about being aware of what is needed for all and then creating a routine that suits you,” says Josie, who recalls that when her son was a baby, routine quality time with him was her priority. “I could find a way to make space for me-time through the support of my friends, however irregular that was, and I set aside quality time with my son as a scheduled event.”

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterstock.com

m

Give yourself the gift of time so that you can be more present

Quail recommends ritual and rhythm in our weekly routines as a way to create consistency and peace in the home. This includes a ritual time to connect with your partner, and a regular ritual activity with your children – perhaps at bedtime to read or to talk about the day.

An excellent bedtime ritual is the rose and thorn discussion. Ask your child what their “rose” was that day – what went well. And then what their “thorn” was – what didn’t work out. It’s an effective way of releasing unresolved issues as well as counting our blessings.

“These exercises act as a pressure valve for releasing stress from the day,” Quail points out. “If a ritual is regular, children feel safe because they know they can count on it.”

using me-time wisely Taking time for yourself gets easier as your children grow up, and finding that time depends in part on having a trustworthy support network.

“Everyone has different needs,” says Quail. “It’s important to tune in to what the right thing is for you.

Author and philosopher Joseph Campbell encouraged people to follow their bliss, which simply means follow your heart or your passion and find your life’s purpose. ‘Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls,’ he wrote. If you constructively use me-time to develop your passion, your self-esteem and general happiness will improve, as will your ability to love.”

But what do you do when you finally get that moment to yourself? I posed the question to a few parents.

magazine cape town

“If you give more to yourself, you have more to give to others,” says Sally de Jager (42), a Cape Town mother of two. “I don’t feel guilty about taking time for myself, because if I go for a run on the beach, I’m in a much better mood afterwards, and that affects my children too.”

Thandi O’Hagen (42) of Joburg shares custody of her son with her ex-husband. “I have one week all to myself, and the next I spend as much time with Kei as possible. But every Tuesday he goes to his granny and I go to a dance class. My exercise time is my best me-time,” she says.

James Cloete (42), a father of two from Cape Town, feels the same way about his me-time: “My wife allows me to go for a surf because she knows I am a much nicer person to be with afterwards.”

There is a danger, however, of the balance swinging out of kilter when me-time becomes an escapist habit.

Chantal van Straten* (36), a Port Elizabeth mother of a three year old, was weary because her husband had gone surfing for a fourth day in a row while on holiday. “I wanted us to do some fun things together as a family,” she says.

Taking time out should not burden the other partner nor compromise the children. It’s about quality versus quantity.

The ability to create decent, bite-sized chunks of time for yourself and focused time for your family requires intention, boundaries and organisation. The size of the chunks increases as our children grow up and we graduate to new levels of freedom. We have to know when to let go and when to be present. * Name changed

you need me-time when…

• y ou are feeling ungrounded, and keep forgetting and losing things; • you are staying up late to do creative things for yourself and not sleeping properly at night; • you are feeling depressed and are easily distracted; • you are running ragged – your hair is dishevelled, your clothes are worn out and you can’t remember the last time you really had fun.

recommended reading • T ears and Tantrums by Aletha Solter (Published by Aware Parenting Books, awareparenting.com) • S implicity Parenting by Kim John Payne (Published by Simplicity Parenting, simplicityparenting.com) • Mother-Daughter Wisdom – Creating a Legacy of Physical and Emotional Health by Dr Christiane Northrup (Published by Piatkus)

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27

parenting

the boomerang child Young adults who leave home only to move back in again are not necessarily aimless or failing at life. GARY KOEN

a

helps us understand the likely scenario.

“boomerang child” can be described as a young adult who appears incapable of being able to leave home or who moves out and then suddenly returns home and moves back in again. But I find the term somewhat incongruous. A boomerang is supposed to return to the thrower. Also, a boomerang in full flight is a beautiful sight – it is dynamic and graceful, yet filled with a primitive raw power, a reminder of the weapon it once was. When people talk about a “boomerang child”, the connotations are often negative. They are implying inertia, helplessness, an absence of confidence or direction, and an entitled sense of needing to be looked after.

Parents need to distinguish, however, between the normal ebb and flow of a young person’s passage from dependency towards independence, and a young adult who has literally ground to a halt in their life. The process of separating from our parents as young adults doesn’t happen overnight. The final road from bustling, busy adolescent towards fully fledged self-sufficiency is a developmental stage of its own, which can last as long as 10 years – more than twice as long as high school. Anyone who is “thrown” into the world like a boomerang the moment they matriculate will invariably find themselves, one way or another, spending the rest of their lives looking for a home to come back to.

The final road from bustling, busy adolescent towards fully fledged self-sufficiency is a developmental stage of its own, which can last as long as 10 years.

Young people are still in the adolescent stage of life, even in their late teenage years. The whole of adolescence is fundamentally about a child’s movement from a state of relative dependency towards a state of independence; from being relatively little to becoming relatively big. By the time they matriculate they are closer to being little than big. Young adults still need parental guidance, especially when faced with complex life decisions that can carry long-term implications. Going to university, finding a job, getting married and starting a family is not as simple as it sounds, although those of us who want this for our lives naturally want to get it right.

It’s not unusual at all for teenagers to not know what they want to do when they leave school. There is a hidden danger in the expectation that somehow they should know what they want to do, and that not knowing means they are going to make a mess of their lives.

Parents need to realise that not knowing is not the problem. It’s when they either doubt or lack the ability to find out what they want to do that problems start.

Often at this stage many teenagers will fall into the trap of saying the right thing simply in order to keep their parents happy or to get them off their backs. The tendency to be seen to be behaving in a sensible and acceptable way often hides a deep-rooted uncertainty.

They end up making decisions and choices that they don’t really feel comfortable with, set standards for themselves that are impossible to meet and end up falling into a failure trap that can last for years.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

on the cusp

The main task of parents at this stage is to accept their child’s anxiety of “not knowing” and use it to motivate them to start finding out what they want to do. In the long run, going through the slog and discomfort of not knowing is far preferable to simply paying lip service and making half-hearted choices.

knowing who we are If we are to avoid the aimlessness that can beset many a young adult’s life, close attention needs to be paid to what takes place during adolescence. It’s an incredibly rich developmental stage, central to which is the relationship being forged between parent and child, and the relationship they are going to have with themselves. Adolescence is the time when they start to get to know who they really are.

By the time they have reached the age of 18 or 19, we can reasonably expect young people to have some idea of their likes and dislikes – the clothes they like to wear, the food they enjoy, their choice of friends and the company they keep. Basically, they need to know what it is they enjoy doing. This is different from knowing what it is they are good at. The ideal is to be good at something and to enjoy doing it.

Young adults of this age should also have acquired some insight into their decisionmaking process: how they make life choices, take responsibility for their actions and tackle difficult tasks. They should now be able to discriminate between a good effort and a poor effort, and have developed some appreciation of quality.

They should also have developed an appreciation for the importance of being able to think for themselves and to realise that what they do is a reflection of who they are.

These are the issues that parents need to begin talking to their children about long before they become young adults. As I have pointed out, it’s not simply a given that they will know what they want to do with their lives by the time they leave school. However, they should be equipped with the tools to find out.

It’s really okay to have a “boomerang child”, provided the trajectory of their life has as its ultimate goal a richer understanding of themselves. What we need to be concerned about is the boomerang that lies uselessly on the ground.

about the author Gary Koen is a clinical psychologist in private practice with over 20 years’ experience, working mainly with adults and adolescents. He also does presentations at schools on a range of teenage-related topics. These include all the general aspects of normal adolescent development. He developed, and successfully runs a course, “An introduction to adolescence”, aimed at parents. He is also working on a book that deals with the challenges facing parents and teenagers and, as a father of three, he is heavily invested in everything he says. For more information, visit garykoen.co.za

magazine cape town

June 2014

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resource

a club for everyone Not sure how to keep the children busy over the long school break?

animal interaction

Camelot Riding School horse-riding camp In July they host a two-day riding

Horse-riding camp at Camelot Riding School

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camp with plenty to learn about horses.

December’s camp includes swimming with horses in the dam. Long pants and closed shoes are required. Everything, including meals, is supplied. For 6–15 year olds.

Date: 10–11 July and 11–13 December.

Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Herta Erna Rd, Vierlanden, Durbanville. Cost: R180– R850. Contact: 083 261 7656 or info@ camelotridingschool.co.za

educational

Cape Town Science Centre The centre runs science-based holiday activities. For full details visit their website.

Date, time and cost: tbc. Venue: Cape Town Science Centre, 370B Main Rd, Observatory. Contact: 021 300 3200 or visit ctsc.org.za

ORT SA CAPE robotics programmes At the Lego WeDo Robotics and Aviation workshops, children 6–9 years old build and programme Lego WeDo robots and enjoy

storytelling and activities using iPads. Children 10–15 years old build and programme advanced robots using Lego Mindstorms.

Equipment is supplied, but children must take a snack. Children with special needs can be accommodated depending on the level of need. The programme also runs in October and December.

Date: 2–4 July. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: The Annexe, Iziko SA National Gallery, St Johns Rd. Cost: R500 per child. Contact: 021 448 8156, 021 447 0598, info@ ortsacape.org.za or visit ortsacape.org.za

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

LUCILLE KEMP compiled a list of holiday activities for all ages, talents and interests.

holistic

JellyBean Events Hip-hop dancing, baking and games for 5–13 years old.

Date: tbc. Time: 8:30am–1pm daily.

Venues: Erin Hall, Erin Rd, Rondebosch and Kenridge Primary School, Durbanville.

Cost: R150 per day, includes a craft and baked item. Contact: 083 392 9593, bookings@jellybeanworld.co.za or visit jellybeanworld.co.za

Lila Yogatherapy Yoga and art workshops.

Date: June and July dates to be confirmed.

Time: 10:30am–1pm for 3–6 year olds or 9:30am–1pm for 7–12 year olds.

Venue: Cape Quarter. Cost: call to enquire.

Contact: 083 377 9248 or info@lilayogatherapy.com

making, cooking, baking

Artjamming Monday: pop art; Tuesday:

Julie’s Cake Studio Children make

tick-tock; Wednesday: the art of illusion; Thursday: creative collage; Friday: graffiti.

Free snack pack with every workshop.

Holiday programmes throughout the year.

For children 6 years and older.

Date: 30 June–18 July. Time: 10am– 12pm. Venues: Cavendish, Cape Quarter, Paddocks, V&A Waterfront and Willowbridge. Cost: R150 per day or R700 for the week. For more info: visit artjamming.co.za

homemade ice cream and an edible bowl.

Pack a snack and apron. Children with special needs welcome. Programmes run during most holidays.

Date: 28 June, 1–4 July, 14–17 July.

Time: 9:30am–11:30am for 5–7 year olds and 8–9 year olds and 9:30am–12pm for 10 years and older. Venue: shop 5, Newlands Quarter, cnr Dean St and Main St, Newlands. Cost: R175 per session. Contact: 021 686 2372 or julie@ juliescakestudio.co.za

Connecting through art Pack an apron and a snack or juice. For 7–10 year olds.

Date: 30 June–3 July. Time: 9am–11am.

Venue: Frank Joubert Art Centre, Keurboom Rd, Newlands. Cost: R450. Contact: 076 581 1794 or rebecca.solveig@gmail.com

Cooking with Hannah For children 2–10 years old. All equipment and ingredients supplied as well as a juice. Children with special needs welcome. She also runs a programme in the December holidays.

magazine cape town

Cooking holiday programmes

Date: 30 June–11 July. Time: 10am– 11:30am Monday–Friday. Venue: The Bay, Constantia Sports Centre. Cost: R320 for 3 classes, R120 per class. Contact: 082 569 8666 or cookingwithhannah1@ gmail.com

Crafty Play Activities include painting, sandart and foam art. Messy play and creativity are encouraged. Themes are planned daily. The programmes run every school holiday. For 5–9 year olds.

Date: the June/July holiday programme dates to be confirmed. Time: 10am–12pm.

Venue: in Blouberg Sands; address to be confirmed on booking. Cost: R60

per workshop. Contact: 082 998 0825, craftyplayct@gmail.com or visit craftyplay. wix.com/kidz

Create. Hobby Fun projects using electronic sewing machines and hand stitching. Materials and machines supplied.

Children should take a meal. They provide juice and cupcakes. For 5–11 year olds.

Date: 30 June–3 July for 5–7 year olds and 7–10 July for 8–11 year olds. Also October and December holidays. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm. Venue: 142 Lower Main Rd, Observatory. Cost: R250–R1 360.

Contact: andrea@createhobby.co.za or visit createhobby.co.za

Little Cooks Club They introduce children 2–15 years old to new and healthy foods through interesting and hands-on programmes.

Date, time and venue: varies. Cost: call to enquire. Contact: northern suburbs: 082 332 7546 or renatel@littlecooksclub. co.za; Plattekloof: 082 771 9379 or mh@ littlecooksclub.co.za; southern suburbs: 083 292 8062 or robynb@littlecooksclub.co.za or visit littlcooksclub.co.za

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resource Nice Touch For cooking, art and crafts. Everything is supplied. Children prepare their own meals and drinks. They can accommodate children with special needs, but adult supervision is required for under 4 year olds. For 3–14 year olds. They run programmes during most school holidays.

Date: 30 June–18 July. Time: 10am–12pm.

Venue: 5 Montana Rd, Camps Bay. Cost: R120. Contact: 021 437 1150, 082 319 9215, janis@nicetouch.co.za or visit nicetouch.co.za Rococoa A tour of the cocoa plantation, a chocolate activity and a movie. Pack an apron. They provide meals. There is limited wheelchair access. For 4–12 year olds. Holiday programmes run throughout the year.

Date: 30 June–18 July. Time: 10am–12pm or 2:30pm–4:30pm. Venue: The Palms Lifestyle Centre, 145 Sir Lowry Rd, Woodstock. Cost: R120–R160. Contact: 021 461 2301 or info@rococoa.co.za Sunny Skies Nursery School Two art activities per morning and free play in the afternoon, with baking on Fridays.

Materials supplied. Pack eats and drinks; microwave available. For 2–8 year olds.

Holiday programmes throughout the year.

Date: 30 June–18 July. Time: 7am–6pm.

Venue: 26 Howard Dr, Meadowridge.

Cost: R45 until 1pm, R50 until 3pm, R55 until 6pm. Contact: 021 712 5657, 082 781 3080 or sunnyskies@telkomsa.net

The Kids Cooking Club holiday club Keep the children busy with creative holiday fun in the kitchen. Area includes play area and coffee shop. View the full programme/menu on the website. For 3–11 year olds.

Date: 30 June–12 July Monday– Saturday. Time: 9:30am–11:30am and 2:30pm–4:30pm. Venue: Stodels 62 Doordrift Rd, Constantia. Cost: R120 per child per class; sibling discounts apply.

Booking is essential. Contact: 083 309 8024, thekidscookingclub@gmail.com or visit thekidscookingclub.co.za

Tots n Pots Cooking and baking workshops. For 3–6 year olds and 6–10 year olds.

Date, time and venue: varies. Cost: email to enquire. Contact: Tableview: charmaine@totsnpots.com; the northern suburbs: landi@totsnpots.com; the southern peninsula: susan@totsnpots. com; Constantia: constantia@totsnpots. com or visit totsnpots.co.za

Carnival @ Weltevreden Estate The

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Art Workshop (6–9 year olds, 17 July), children explore the garden, paint and decorate a box for nature’s treasures.

Pack an apron and dress in old clothes. In the Biodiversity and Waste Art Workshop (10–12 year olds, 16 July) children make a useful item, such as a stationery holder, out of household waste. Pack mid-morning snacks and drinks. Dress in clothing suitable for outdoors. Children with special needs welcome. Holiday programmes also run in April and October.

Date: 16 and 17 July. Time: 9am–1pm.

Venue: Gold Fields Environmental Education Centre, Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden. Cost: R60. Contact: 021 799 8670 or s.hey@sanbi.org.za

Kids on Cloud 9 school holiday activities Dedicated adventure, explore and experience clubs offer fun activities at various locations. They also offer sports clinics. Includes lunch and snacks. Details viewed on the website. For 5–13 year olds.

Holiday programmes throughout the year.

Date: 30 June–4 July, 7–11 July, 14–18 July. Time: 9am–4pm. Venues: southern suburbs, northern suburbs and Atlantic seaboard. Cost: from R120 per day. Contact: 084 777 1212 or visit kidsoncloud9.co.za

Kidz Discovery A programme with art and crafts, baking, role play, dress-up, play houses, sand quarry, clambering on climbing walls, art corner, dancing and story time. Includes snacks, juice and materials.

For 2–9 year olds. Thursdays for under 3s to be accompanied by adults, Mondays and Tuesdays for the middle age group and Wednesdays and Fridays for older ages.

Holiday programmes throughout the year.

Date: 25 June–14 July. Time: 9:30am– 12:30pm or 2:30pm–5pm, Monday– Friday; varies according to your chosen activity. Venue: The Drive, Camps Bay. Cost: from R150. Contact: 083 654 2494, info@kidzdiscovery.co.za or visit kidzdiscovery.co.za

Kronendal aftercare and holiday club Activities include free play and/or a movie, nature walks, swimming, team games and an indoor activity. They may take bicycles and scooters. Should your child have special needs, please contact Joanne directly to discuss in more detail.

Holiday clubs throughout the year. All ages are welcome.

Whale spotter workshops Children

Holiday programmes that explore nature

Date: 30 June–18 July. Time: 8am–6pm.

Venue: Kronendal School, cnr Andrews Rd and Darling Rd, Hout Bay. Cost: R85 until 1pm, bring own snack, R115 until 3pm, with lunch and snack, R145 until 6pm, with lunch and snack. Contact: 076 402 2333 or joannefrost.s.a@gmail.com

V&A Waterfront They hold a host of activities for children of various age groups.

Date, time and cost: tbc. For more info: visit waterfront.co.za

nature

Elemental Kids Experiential events, in a team setting, based on the four natural elements. Pack a meal. They can accommodate children with high functioning special needs. For 6–11 year olds. Holiday programmes throughout the year.

Date: 30 June–4 July: fire, 14–18 July: air. Time: 9am–4pm Monday–Thursday and 3pm, Friday. Venues: Imperial Yacht Club, Zandvlei; Kirstenbosch Stone Cottages, Newlands and Observatory Community Centre. Cost: call to enquire.

Contact: 084 873 4711, 4elementalkids@ gmail.com or visit elementalkids.co.za

should take a cellphone. Contact them before the day to confirm whether they will be offering meals. They can accommodate special needs children. For 7–14 year olds.

Holiday programmes throughout the year.

Date: 7 and 28 June. Time: 7 June: 8am–9:30am Cape Town; 28 June: 10:30am–12pm West Coast. Venues: Quayside Hotel, Simon’s Town and West Coast Fossil Park. Cost: children R25 and adults R50. Contact: awhaleofaheritageroute@gmail.com

performance

The Helen O’Grady Drama Academy musical stage school Dancing, singing and acting musical theatre programme culminating in a performance. Pack a snack. Children with special needs can be accommodated. For 5–8 year olds, 9–12 year olds and 13–18 year olds. Programme also in the December holidays.

Date: 14–18 July. Time: 9am–12pm.

Venue: Athenaeum, 1 Mariendahl Rd, Newlands. Cost: R950 per week. Contact: 021 674 7478, info@dramaafrica.com or visit dramaafrica.com

sleepovers

Buffalo Drift camp Educational fun based on the American summer camp model for 8–13 year olds. Activities include night fishing, canoe river trips, survival skills, volleyball and raft building. Enquire about camps throughout the year.

Date: 30 June–4 July. Time: departs 8am.

Venue: The Fort, Buffalo Drift, Ruigtevlei Farm, near Porterville. Cost: email to enquire. Contact: capetown@bootcampsa.co.za or visit bootcampcapetown.co.za

Kidz Get Wild Abseiling, cargo netting, paintballing, zip-lining, activity courses, nature walks, art, fun and games. Choose from three-, four- and seven-day camps.

For Grade 1–7. One guardian for every five children available.

Date: June/July dates tbc. Time: 8am.

Venue: Waterval, Tulbagh. Cost: call to enquire. Contact: 021 712 6715

multiple activities

Active Alive Holiday Club Games, action sports, adventure challenges, art, crafts, drama, drumming and movies.

For 7–10 year olds and 11–13 year olds.

Holiday programmes throughout the year.

Date: 30 June–4 July, 14–18 July. Time: 7:30am–5pm. Venue: Rustenburg Girls High School, Rondebosch. Cost: R135 half day or R165 full day. Contact: 083 414 3232, kevin@lead4life.co.za or visit lead4life.co.za

Kirstenbosch environmental education programme In the Nature’s Treasure Box

programme focuses on exercises that speak to all forms of cognitive development.

This includes activities that stimulate fine and gross-motor skills, annunciation and emotional communication through play.

Everything is supplied by Weltevreden. For 3–10 year olds.

Date: 7–11 July. Time: 10am–2pm.

Venue: Weltevreden Estate, Welgevonden Boulevard, off R304, Stellenbosch. Cost: R50–R75 per child, excluding meals.

Contact: 021 889 6588, banqueting@ weltevredenestate.com or marketing@ seascapecollection.co.za or visit weltevredenestate.com

sport and fitness

Atlantic Surf Holiday Club The club Programmes with art, crafts and messy play

runs in Big Bay on the first and last week of the December holidays. For 6–13 year olds. magazine cape town

Keep them active with a sport holiday programme

Contact: 021 557 4532, anton@ atlanticsurfco.co.za, charlenejv@mweb. co.za or visit atlanticsurfco.co.za

Club-V Kids Club The programme includes art and crafts, a paint-jamming session, basketball, bean bag or Hula Hoop challenges, soccer shoot outs and a yoga class. For 3–13 year olds.

Date: tbc. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Virgin Active Health Clubs countrywide. Cost: free for Club-V members. Contact: 0860 200 911 or visit virginactive.co.za

CSE cricket coaching clinic Training covering drills for batting, bowling, fielding, knowledge of the game, team building and etiquette. Pack personal equipment, if you have, and lunch, white shorts /longs and sunscreen. Some venues provide meals. Children with special needs can be accommodated. For 4–14 year olds. Holiday programmes throughout the year.

Date: 30 June–3 July, 14–17 July. Time: 9am–2pm. Venues: University of Cape Town Indoor Sports Centre, Jan van Riebeeck Laerskool, DF Malan High School and Sunningdale Sports Club.

Cost: R600. Contact: 0861 123 273 or visit cricketschool.co.za Gordons Gymnastics Fun activities facilitated by qualified coaches.

All equipment is supplied. Dress in comfortable clothing and pack food. They can accommodate special needs children with prior arrangement. For 5–14 year olds. Holiday programmes take place throughout the year.

Date: 30 June–4 July, 7–11 July, 14–18 July.

Time: 8am–5pm, 8am–1pm or 12pm–5pm.

Venue: Hill Park Lane, Mowbray. Cost: R80 half day or R160 full day. Contact: 021 686 9213 or info@gordonsct.co.za

Headstart Swim School clinic Two-, three- and five-day clinics for beginners of all ages as well as pupils wanting to learn or improve strokes, dives and tumble turns. magazine cape town

Pack costume, towel and a swimming cap/swimming nappy. Clinics run every school holiday.

Date: 30 June–4 July and 14–18 July.

Time: 20-minute slot between 9am–7pm.

Venue: 104 Queen Victoria Rd, Claremont.

Cost: from R150. Contact: 021 674 7681, headstartswim@gmail.com or visit headstartswim.co.za

Kidz On The Move The holiday programme caters for all children and covers a wide variety of activities including swimming, Zumba, sport games and exercises. For 6–14 year olds.

Date: June/July dates tbc. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: The Sport Science Institute of South Africa, Boundary Rd, Newlands. Cost: R200–R950. Contact: 021 659 5600 or info@ssisa.com

Rugbytots

Rugby specific play programme for boys and girls. Kit is supplied. Pack refreshments. Parent participation will be required with children of special needs. For 2–7 year olds. The programme runs every school holiday on the first week after school closes.

Date: 30 June–4 July. Time: 9am–11am.

Venue: Constantia Christ Church, cnr Main Rd and Parish Rd. Cost: R325–R400.

Contact: 079 410 1728, steed@rugbytots. co.za or visit rugbytots.co.za

Sporting Chance A rugby, soccer and hockey holiday programme. All equipment is supplied. Pack refreshments. Children with special needs welcome. For 4–13 year olds.

Date: 30 June, 1 July and 14–18 July. Also other school holidays. Time: mornings.

Venues: Bellville, Camps Bay, Constantia, Newlands and Somerset West. Cost: from R450. Contact: admin@sportingchance. co.za or visit sportingchance.co.za

Surf Emporium The surf camps run in Muizenburg. For 9–16 year olds.

Contact: 021 788 8687, 082 562 8687 or roxy@surfemporium.co.za June 2014

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calendar

what’s on in june

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see this month.

Compiled by LUCILLE KEMP

21 sat

special events

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FUN for children

36

only for parents

38

bump, baby & tot in tow

39

how to help

39

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

Table Mountain Cableway Kidz Season This promotion allows two children to travel free with every adult return ticket purchased from the cableway’s ticket office.

Stir Crazy Cooking School courses The courses covers decadent desserts, Indian cooking and winter entertaining.

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June 2014

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Toddler playgroup in Italian This is a fun-filled class for toddlers, learning basic Italian while playing.

Thembalitsha The organisation helps the destitute, sick and vulnerable in the community by providing education, training and healthcare to develop and aid all people.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

Cirque de la Symphonie This new production is an exciting adaptation of performances by aerial flyers, acrobats, contortionists, dancers, jugglers, balancers and strongmen to music performed by the Cape Philharmonic Orchestra.

SPECIAL EVENTS 7 saturday Feast of Shiraz and Charcuterie Carl Schultz, winemaker at Hartenberg Estate and one of South Africa’s oldest producers of Shiraz, has invited a select group of winemakers to showcase their wines.

Together with some of the country’s finest charcuterie masters, cheese makers and olive enthusiasts, you can experience a food and wine pairing feast. Time: 12pm–5pm.

Venue: Hartenberg Wine Estate. Cost: R180, which includes wine tastings. Contact: 021 865 2531, info@hartenbergestate.com or book through webtickets.co.za

opening days are Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: cnr Kemms Rd and Fleming Rd, Wynberg.

Cost: free on 7 June. Contact: 083 512 5824, 083 380 9951 or visit cre8tivekids.co.za

and sales, a vintage tractor and car display, gourmet street food market, live music and children’s entertainment, historic and art meanders, a mountain bike race and barn dance. Also 15 June. Time and cost: varies. Venue: Calitzdorp Railway Station and various wine cellars and village venues.

For more info: visit portwinefestival.co.za

12 thursday Taste the Helderberg Expect a Helderberg treasure chest of the finest wines and food stemming from the region.

Renowned wine producers exhibit and some of the restaurants will lend some culinary flair with their signature dishes.

Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: NH Lord Charles Hotel, Somerset West. Cost: R70. Tickets are capped at 500 to keep the show intimate. Contact: 021 886 4310 or visit wineroute.co.za

15 sunday

13 June – South African Book Fair

13 friday Cook Franschhoek An event for all foodies, the interactive and exclusive hands-on demo kitchens are focused on themes such as Snout-to-Tail, Locally Produced, Artisanal Bakeries, Smoked Meats and more. Most demonstrations include a meal paired with a Franschhoek wine. You can interact with chefs and winemakers. Ends 15 June. Time and venue: varies. Cost: priced per demo.

Contact: 021 876 2861, for a detailed programme visit cookfranschhoek.co.za or book through webtickets.co.za South African Book Fair Children can meet and have their photos taken with the Gruffalo, Maisy, Peter Rabbit and Spot the Dog. Visiting tweens have the opportunity to meet Wally from Where’s Wally and join

in a book illustration workshop. There is a range of speakers, panellists and academics, who will debate and discuss a number of topics. Enjoy brunch with bestselling author Susan Lewis and learn more about the Afrikaans literary world.

Ends 15 June. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: CTICC. Cost: adults R50, pensioners R20 and children under 18 free. Contact: 011 549 8300, belinda@thebereed.co.za or visit southafricanbookfair.co.za

14 saturday Port and Wine Festival This year’s lineup includes culinary demonstrations from celebrity chefs, secret suppers, two formal tastings led by expert panels, wine tastings

12 June – Taste the Helderberg

Celebrate Life Festival The festival showcases holistic living with speakers, demonstrations, workshops and everything from crystals, gifts, massages and readings to Hula Hoops, books, face painting and food. Also 8 June. Time: 10am. Venue: River Club, Observatory. Cost: R70 per day, R120 per weekend, children u12 free.

Contact: 021 783 4965, kahunapromo@ mweb.co.za or visit celebratelife.co.za The Kids Shack opening special An indoor play venue in the southern suburbs is launching and offering free play today.

Facilities include putt-putt, a jungle gym, baby play area, a toddler’s play area, art and crafts, sandart and a bike track. For 0–12 years old. Time: 10am–5pm. Usual

magazine cape town

Wacky Wine Weekend

5 thu

While mom and dad taste and learn more about wines, the little ones are kept busy with the numerous activities and play parks that scatter the valley. There are also various outdoor activities, culinary delights and live music on offer. Ends 8 June.

Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: wineries of the Robertson Wine Valley. Cost: adults R110 (passport valid for the entire weekend), children under 18 free. Certain activities may ask for an additional fee. Contact: 023 626 3167, manager@robertsonwinevalley.com or visit wackywineweekend.com

Father’s Day lunch at Durbanville Hills Wines The special lunch includes a glass of Rhinofields Shiraz and slowroasted Karoo lamb shank. The restaurant offers panoramic views of Table Mountain, Table Bay and adjoining vineyards. Time: 12pm–3pm. Venue: The Durbanville Hills Restaurant. Cost: R145. Contact: 021 558 1337 or info@durbanvillehills.co.za

21 saturday Cirque de la Symphonie The new production is an exciting adaptation of performances by aerial flyers, acrobats, contortionists, dancers, jugglers, balancers and strongmen. Each artist’s performance is choreographed to classical masterpieces and popular contemporary music, performed by the Cape Philharmonic Orchestra. Also 22 June. Time: 7pm on 21 June and 3pm on 22 June. Venue: GrandWest Grand Arena. Cost: from R200. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Zip Zap Circus show fundraiser The performance is to help raise funds for Sisanda FunDaytion for children in need. A children’s ticket includes a snack pack and juice. Sponsor a ticket for an underprivileged child. Time: 12pm. Venue: Zip Zap Dome, Foreshore. Cost: R60. Contact: 083 641 8150 or visit zip-zap.co.za. To purchase a ticket for an underprivileged child: leesa. flory@sisanda.org.za

28 saturday Alice in Wonderland Attend Canal Walk’s staging of Alice in Wonderland, which features breathtaking sets, costumes, puppets and songs, and Canal Walk will donate R5 from each ticket sold, as well as the proceeds of programme sales to Stop Hunger Now. Ends 20 July. Time: 11am, 12:30pm and 2pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: Canal Walk. Cost: R80. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit stophungernowsa.org

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calendar Noddy Stagecraft Drama Studio presents a show adapted from the stories by Enid Blyton. For children aged 2 years and older.

Ends 12 July. Time: 10:30am, Monday– Saturday. Venue: Artscape Theatre Foyer.

Cost: R70; early bird special until 8 June R60.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or Artscape-Dial-a-Seat: 021 421 7695

FUN FOR CHILDREN

the term. Contact: 076 581 1794 or rebecca.solveig@gmail.com The Chaeli Campaign art and poetry exhibition All art work and poetry entered into the 2014 competition is exhibited.

Prize-giving takes place on the final day.

2–7 June. Time: 9am–3pm, Monday– Friday, until 1pm on Saturday. Venue: The Chaeli Cottage, 18 Culm Rd, Plumstead.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 0861 242 354 or jared@chaelicampaign.co.za

art, culture and science

classes, talks and workshops

Connecting Through Art Children engage in art, connecting with themselves and their peers. The group may suit children who would benefit from an expressive outlet. For 9 and 10 year olds. Time: 3:30pm–5pm, every Thursday. Venue: Frank Joubert Art Centre, Newlands. Cost: R130 per weekly session; runs throughout

Cooking with Hannah classes Activities include making Father’s Day treats.

For 2–10 year olds. Venue: The Bay, Constantia. Classes available in Noordhoek too. Time: 3pm–4pm Wednesday and Friday, 2pm–3pm Thursday. Cost: call to enquire. Contact: 082 569 8666 or cookingwithhannah1@gmail.com

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Micro Chefs A creative cooking club teaches children how to prepare nutritious and delicious food. The lessons are presented by Katherine Megaw, a recognised paediatric dietician and author. For 2–12 year olds. 14 June. Time: 9am–12pm, booking essential. Venue: City Bowl Market, 14 Hope St, Gardens. Cost: R30 per session. Contact: 021 462 4259, 079 310 8485, info@redharbourchurch. co.za or visit redharbourchurch.co.za or nutripaeds.co.za

family outings Mom and Me session with Sweetarts Learn to make cakes, cupcakes and cookie toppers. Date and time: tbc. Venue: based in southern suburbs. Cost: R400 for you and your child or R550 for you and two children. Contact: 021 712 7316, 082 296 4074 or visit mysweetarts.weebly.com

Dramatots open day Experience aspects of the Dramatots programme. Activities include a puppet show and an interactive drama class.

For 1–5 year olds. 17–19 June. Time: 9am–10:30am (1–2,5 year olds) and 3:30pm–5pm (2,5–5 year olds). Venue: Atlantic Seaboard, address supplied on booking. Cost: free. Contact: 083 445 5978, info@dramatots.co.za or visit dramatots.co.za

Mom and Me session with Sweetarts

finding nature and outdoor play Table Mountain Cableway Kidz Season Two children travel free with every adult return ticket purchased from the cableway ticket office. The special is valid on weekends, public holidays and during the June and October school holidays. Ends 31 October. Time: varies. Venue: Table Mountain Cableway, Tafelberg Rd. Cost: R215 per adult, valid until 30 September.

For more info: visit tablemountain.net

holiday activities Constantia Tots n Pots winter holiday workshop Children make sweet and savoury dishes. For 3–5 year olds with a caregiver; 6–12 year olds can be dropped off. 30 June–20 July. Time: 10am–11:30am

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and 2pm–3:30pm. Venue: Constantia area.

Cost: R130 per class. Contact: 076 816 3892, constantia@totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com Preparing for Ramadaan On Youth Day, children learn about the essentials of fasting in the month of Ramadaan. They make a Ramadaan fasting calendar, paint a “boeka koekie doekie”, design a Ramadaan poster and learn a Ramadaan recipe. All workshop attendees receive a free party pack. For 5–12 year olds. 16 June. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Aunty K’s Party Centre, Littlewood Rd, Ottery. Cost: R100. Contact: 021 704 1462, 074 106 0713 (sms only) or kidsklub1@polka.co.za Snow! At CapeGate Experience real snow. Featuring a thrilling 4m high, 40m long ice toboggan slide, a smaller children’s slide and real snow to build your own snowman with. Ice slide for over 5 year olds. 28 June–19 July Time: 10am–7pm Monday–Saturday, until 5pm Sunday.

Venue: CapeGate Shopping Centre. Cost:

30 June–20 July – Constantia Tots n Pots winter holiday workshop

full rider R50, mini rider R25. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or for more info: visit capegatecentre.co.za Sweetarts holiday activity Children from 4 years old learn to decorate cupcakes and cookies in a fun, stimulating environment.

All ingredients and equipment is supplied and every child gets a participation certificate, disposable apron and chef’s hat. Date and time. tbc. Venue: based in the southern suburbs. Cost: R250.

Contact: 021 712 7316, 082 296 4074 or visit mysweetarts.weebly.com Winter Wonderland Snowflakes, lightencrusted yachts and snowmen, and white lights in trees, shops, restaurants, decorated homes and the magical fairy forest sparkle with white lights. The light-switching ceremony (28 June) is at the Winter Wonderland Ball. The Winter Wonderland Carnival weekend (4–6 July) is the highlight of Gordon’s Bay’s Festival of Lights. For more info: visit winterwonderland.co.za Winter Wonders takes off for the children at Kirstenbosch Meet the wonderful characters that inhabit the garden at the storytelling sessions, enjoy the popular puppet show, join an exciting adventure walk and create a beautiful piece of craft work using things from the garden.

For 6–17 year olds. 28 June–20 July. Time: tbc. Venue: Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden. Cost: varies. Contact: 021 799 8783 and for the detailed programme, visit sanbi.org.za

30 June–12 July – Aladdin

markets Chilled Market at The Range in Tokai Expect tasty food, local wines and craft beers and entertainment. Enjoy sundowners and supper among the pine trees and vineyards. Time: 4:30pm–9:30pm, every Friday. Venue: The Range, Orpen Rd, Tokai.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 713 2340 or chilledmarket@therange.co.za Jolly Carp organic market For vegetables, fruit, olive oil, honey, eggs, seed loaves and hot meals. Enclosed ecopark for children. Time: 10am–3pm, every Saturday. Venue: 38 Sasmeer Rd, Retreat.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 074 302 3254

on stage and screen Aladdin This is the story of a poor street boy who is the only person that can

enter the cave of wonders and retrieve a magical lamp for the evil Jafar. 30 June– 12 July. Time: 10am Monday–Saturday.

Venue: Nassau Theatre, Groote Schuur High School, Palmyra Rd, Newlands. Cost: R50. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com and for more info, contact: 021 558 2650, 083 364 8284, elton@lilliputplayers.co.za or visit lilliputplayers.co.za Teen Titans new episodes on Cartoon Network The series focuses on saving the world and living together as teenagers without adult supervision. Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, Beast Boy and Raven are back with all-new comedic adventures. This time they’re giving viewers a look at what life is really like as a teen superhero once the cape comes off. Premieres on 2 June at 5pm on Cartoon Network DStv Channel 301.

playtime and story time Playful Italian children’s classes Your child learns a language in a fun, interactive way. For 3–6 years old. Time: 3pm–4pm.

Venue: 137 Hatfield St, Gardens. Cost: R700 per trimester (one lesson per week).

Contact: 021 465 8261, info@ladante. co.za or visit ladante.co.za

sport and physical activities Kirstenhof Dance and Pilates Studio Offers ballet, modern, hip-hop dancing and Pilates classes. Book a free trial class.

Time: call to enquire. Classes take place

family marketplace

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wed

The Snow Goose Set in Essex, a wounded, storm-tossed snow goose brings together a young girl, Fritha, and the recluse Philip Rhayader in a moving story about love and courage.

4–28 June. Time: 8pm. Venue: Kalk Bay Theatre. Cost R95. For more info: visit kalkbaytheatre.co.za

Monday–Friday. Venue: 14 Windhover St, Kirstenhof. Cost: varies for group or private sessions. Contact: 021 701 2750, 082 739 0100 or lianepenny@gmail.com New classes in Sunningdale with Busyballers Develop skills needed to participate in sport as well as skills that enhance other areas of a child’s life. For 2,5 years and older. Time: 3pm, every Thursday.

Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: varies. Contact: 084 406 5165, tammy@busyballers.co.za or visit busyballers.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Barriers to literacy and learning Measure and manage learning problems within the classroom. For teachers, classroom facilitators, school-based therapists and education support staff. 24 June. Time: 2pm–5pm. Venue: tbc. Cost: R450. For more info: visit sensoryintelligence.co.za Family and Friends CPR 7 June. Time: 9am. Venue: Constantiaberg Mediclinic, Burnham St, Plumstead. Cost: R270 for three hours or R320 for four hours, which includes paediatric first aid. Contact: 021 705 6459, training@pec.co.za or visit pec.co.za

16 and 17 June – Delheim wild mushroom hunts

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Stir Crazy Cooking School courses Decadent desserts: 5 June. Cost: R420.

Indian cooking: 9, 16, 23 and 30 June.

Cost: R1 600 for four sessions. Winter entertaining: 26 June. Cost R400 for four sessions. Time: 6pm–10pm. Venue: 423 Main Rd, Observatory. Contact: 021 447 0323 or noleen@stircrazycatering.co.za

on stage and screen Cape Town Funny Festival Rustenburg Girls School celebrates its 120th birthday this year. Join in the celebrations with a comedy evening at the Baxter Theatre Centre. 29 May. Time: 8pm. Venue: Baxter Theatre. Cost: R150. Contact: 082 882 5670 or pamhei@rgjs.org.za

out and about Delheim wild mushroom hunts Join a small group of avid fungi foragers, eccentric hobbyists and amateur mycologists in the forest for an exclusive wild mushroom hunt. Your day starts with an insightful lecture on wild mushrooms followed by an excursion through the pine forest on the farm, ending off with a mushroom-themed buffet in the cellar. 16 and 17 June. Time: 10:30am. Venue: Delheim Wine Estate, Stellenbosch. Cost: R350. Contact: 021 888 4600 or info@delheim.com Imhoff Waldorf Annual Art Auction An auction event with comedian Rob van Vuuren. Time: 5:30pm. Venue: Monkey Valley Resort, Noordhoek. Cost: free.

Contact Sue: 021 783 4237 or admin@ imhoffwaldorf.org Old Mutual Trophy Wine Show Public Tasting – Cape Town Taste around 100 of the country’s best wines – the trophy, gold or silver medal winners from South Africa’s authoritative wine competition. 6 June. Time: 5pm–8:30pm. Venue: Ballroom East, CTICC. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com or for more info, contact: 011 482 5936 or visit trophywineshow.co.za Tattoo-a-thon Tattoo studios in cities around the country aim to raise R750 000 for Childhood Cancer Foundation South magazine cape town

Africa (Choc). 6 June. For more info, contact: 076 483 3580, tattooathon@ gmail.com or visit tattooathon.co.za

support groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Transgender and Intersexed (LGBTI) parents support group Time: call to enquire.

Venue: Triangle Project, Elta House, 2nd floor, 3 Caledonian Rd, Mowbray. Cost: free. Contact: 021 686 1475, info@ triangle.org.za, health2@triangle.org.za or visit triangle.org.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Antenatal classes at home Personal in-depth courses are offered for individual couples in their own home with advanced midwife Sydney Grove. The 4–6 week courses take place on any day by appointment.

Time: at your convenience. Cost: R1 500 per couple, which can be reclaimed from medical aid. Contact: 074 101 6704 or grovemediconsulting@gmail.com Baby massage class Relax your baby and relieve colic and constipation. Babies of up to 6 months old are welcome. 21 May– 11 June. Time: 10am, every Wednesday.

Venue: Claremont. Cost: R575 for a fourweek course. Contact: 082 971 3975 or lynn@motherhoodmatters.co.za Nino: Grow Your Baby’s Brain parent day Dr Nils and Jill Bergman talk to expecting and new parents about how the baby’s brain grows during pregnancy and how important the birth and first hours of life are for the baby’s physical health and emotional attachment to parents. Babies are welcome.

7 June. Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: Vincent Pallotti Conference Room. Cost: R150 per person, R250 per couple. Contact: 021 531 5819, jill@ninobirth.org or visit ninobirth.org Toddler playgroup in Italian Toddlers learn basic Italian while playing. For 12–36 month olds. 6 June. Time: 9:30am–11am.

Venue: 137 Hatfield St, Gardens. Cost: R700 per term. Contact: 021 465 8261, info@ladante.co.za or visit ladante.co.za

playtime and story time Toptots Claremont Mother and Child Workshop Classes incorporate creative messy play, perceptual development, age-

appropriate massage, sensory and fine motor activities and music. Registration is ongoing so you can join a class in the middle of the term at a prorata rate. For 8 week–4 year olds. Term 2 ends 13 June. Time: morning and afternoon. Venue: 74 Ranelagh Rd, Claremont. Cost: R1 000 per term. Contact: 079 248 8083 or lisam@toptots.co.za Wriggle and Rhyme A music-based programme designed to engage and stimulate budding musicians and instil a love and appreciation for music. A different theme is used each term to teach the babies and toddlers about their world as they engage with different musical instruments, movement and teaching aids.

Date and time: varies. Venues: Claremont, Constantiaberg, Fish Hoek and Kenilworth.

Cost: R150 joining fee, R500 per child per term. Contact: info@wriggleandrhyme. co.za or visit wriggleandrhyme.co.za

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

support groups La Leche League breast-feeding support group monthly meetings Time: call to enquire. Cost: free.

Rondebosch: every second Thursday.

Contact Bridgette: 021 712 5767. Parklands: every fourth Wednesday. Contact Simela: 021 553 1664 or Juliet: 021 556 0693.

Parklands: every second Saturday. Contact Kim: 082 330 5352. Parow: every third Wednesday. Contact Dilshaad: 021 930 2475. Durbanville: every second Tuesday.

Contact Trudy: 021 913 2816, Tiffany: 021 913 3586 or Vania: 021 910 2885.

Kenridge: every first Monday. Contact Rosemary: 021 910 0606 or Irma: 021 979 1425. Paarl: every first Tuesday. Contact Jonette: 021 872 5297 or Wilma: 082 922 8195. Stellenbosch: every second Tuesday.

Contact Francia: 082 940 9685

how to help Thembalitsha The organisation helps the destitute, sick and vulnerable in the community by providing education, training and healthcare. Donate, volunteer, fundraise, attend an event, and like them on Facebook. One of their projects is Bosom Buddies, which serves three state hospitals in Somerset West by providing practical and emotional support to needy new moms. For more info: visit thembalitsha.org.za

21 May–11 June – Baby massage class

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to capetown@childmag.co.za or fax it to 021 462 2680. Information must be received by 30 May for the July issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

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it’s party time continued...

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finishing touch

copycats CASSANDRA SHAW describes how her son picks up on everything – even the things she wishes he hadn’t.

i

t’s amazing how impressionable children are. I distinctly remember taking a Sunday drive with my family in the countryside one day, when my sister, who was three years old at the time, exclaimed to my step-dad, who’s known for being a bit vocal when behind the wheel, “Look Daddy, there are no *&%-*$@!s on the road today.”

Our son has also repeated a few choice words he’s learnt from us. And, like my step-dad, we also had sheepish looks on our faces.

As parents, we don’t realise how much of what we say and do is picked up by our children. They remember and associate things you wouldn’t have even thought twice about. During a Skype conversation with his grandpa

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recently, my son quickly went to his room and grabbed his tiger hat and harmonica, because he now associated these objects with my dad, whom he’d visited almost a year ago.

At the moment these are The Jungle Book, The Lion King and 101 Dalmatians.

After he watches these shows he loves to pretend he’s a bear like Baloo, a powerful lion like Mufasa, or a dog like Pongo. So

Children remember and associate things you wouldn’t have even thought twice about.

During these early years a child’s mind is a sponge as they try to come to grips with social practices and the world around them. So, as parents, we’ve really got to be on our best behaviour – even while driving.

Being aware of the things they take part in or watch on TV is just as important. Our son, like most children, loves it when he is allowed to watch his favourite movies.

he’ll dance, roar and bark his way around the house. He’s even set up an area on the couch to look like Pride Rock. And when he’s pretending to be a dog he picks up his teddy bears with his mouth. My least favourite trait has to be when he tries to eat his food – face first in his plate.

Our children also pick up things from their friends. For the longest time our

son refused to eat bananas after learning that some children from his school were not big fans of bananas. After that, no matter how hard I tried, he’d scrunch up his nose, stick out his tongue and say, “Yuck!”

That all changed, however, thanks to his favourite characters from a certain movie based in the jungle. The other morning, he actually came into the kitchen asking for a banana after seeing the two main characters scoff down copious amounts of the yellow fruit. Finally!

Now if only there was something that would make a positive impression on him when it comes to eating baby marrows…

Cassandra is a freelance editor and writer who often blogs about her life as a Canadian living in Cape Town.

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PHOTOGRAPH: MENKE BONNEMA

Cassandra and her son

books

a good read for toddlers

for preschoolers

Can’t You Sleep Little Bear?

By Martin Waddell and Barbara Firth

The Gruffalo Play

By Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler

(Published by Walker Books, R82) Little Bear can’t sleep. He’s frightened of the dark, even with the biggest lantern of them all at his bedside. But Big Bear finds an ingenious way to reassure him… When it was first published in 1988, Can’t You Sleep Little Bear? quickly became a classic bedtime favourite. A timeless and universal bestseller for children from the age of three to seven, it has won multiple awards, has been translated into 25 languages and has sold over seven million copies. Waddell is widely acknowledged as one of the greatest writers of children’s books.

set the stage

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R81) The Gruffalo story has been adapted into a fun and accessible play script, ideal for children to use as a school play or at home. The book has been designed with rehearsals and a performance in mind.

Colour coding for each character helps children to follow their lines and join the action. The book also contains tips, which include helpful advice on staging the play and performing it with larger groups. There are ideas for themed make-and-do Gruffalo activities and the lyrics and music for The Gruffalo Song.

for early graders

for preteens and teens

Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

By Judy Blume (Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R94) The first book published in Judy Blume’s hugely successful and hilarious fiction series about a naughty little boy called Fudge, has received new cover art from picture book star Emily Gravett (Little Mouse’s Big Book of Fears and The Odd Egg). Peter thinks he has the world’s biggest problem – his little brother, Fudge. Fudge causes trouble wherever he goes and it’s usually up to Peter to sort out the mess. When Peter wins a tiny green turtle called Dribble, he is determined to keep it away from his brother, but when Fudge does get his hands on Dribble, disaster strikes. The other books in the series also received a makeover, and it’s worth investing in them: Double Fudge, Superfudge, Fudge-A-Mania and Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great.

Stay Where You Are & Then Leave

By John Boyne

(Published by Random House Struik, R219) The day the First World War broke out, Alfie Summerfield’s father promised he wouldn’t go away to fight, but he broke that promise the following day. Four years later, Alfie doesn’t know where his father might be, other than that he’s away on a special, secret mission. Then, while shining shoes at King’s Cross Station, Alfie unexpectedly sees his father’s name – in a sheaf of papers belonging to a military doctor.

Bewildered and confused, Alfie realises his father is in a hospital close by – a hospital treating soldiers with an unusual condition. Alfie is determined to rescue his father from this strange, unnerving place. From the author of The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas comes another classic story for children from the age of nine to 11.

for parents Mysmartkid (Distributed by Leisure Books, R295 every two months) This is a play-and-learn programme for children from the age of birth to six years old.

Designed by a panel of leading experts, Mysmartkid provides tools for early childhood development to help you give your child the best start in life. Enjoy fun activities with your little one while helping them reach their full potential. Subscribe to Mysmartkid for only R295 per child every two months. A Smartbox packed with age-appropriate toys and tools plus a parent’s guide will be dispatched as soon as your membership has been registered.

And as a special welcome offer, your first Smartbox will include two exclusive gifts: a free children’s backpack and a step-by-step guide to the early developmental milestones.

Thereafter you will receive a Smartbox every two months. In addition to your Smartbox, you will also receive informative email newsletters compiled by experts in early childhood development. As a member you qualify for extra discounts at mysmartkid.com as well as unique downloads, resources, articles and information tailored to your child’s age and developmental area. The Mysmartkid programme is distributed by Leisure Books. You can register online at mysmartkid.com, choose your child’s age, and get your age-appropriate activity box delivered free in South Africa.

not to b e missed