Child Magazine | Cape Town November 2012

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

let’s talk toddlers and teenagers beastie

boys

when those hormones kick in

from teen to tyrant understanding the power shift

www.childmag.co.za

November 2012

free

motherhood

stay at home or back to work?

health

education

19

neighbourhood

gems

entertainment

As a mom of a 10 and almost 18 year old, I know that the welfare of my children is indelibly linked to my own and that my choices can be life changing for them.

For many moms the dilemma of “to work or not” is one of those choices. When I was a single mom, working wasn’t so much a choice as a necessity. Launching Child magazine 10 years ago was an exciting venture for me, but it was also one of the most thought-through decisions I’ve ever made, because I knew it would have a dynamic impact on my girls.

I know I’m not alone. I receive so many emails from moms either wanting to get back into the workplace or desperate to get out of it; to work from home or not at all. No one seems quite sure how to achieve balance and fulfilment. If you’re facing this dilemma, you’ll find Helena Kingwill’s “modern mom’s dilemma” (page 16) essential reading. “Choosing between work and parenting all comes down to being open and honest with yourself and your partner about your needs and priorities,” writes Helena.

Having the choice to work or not is a luxury and a decision that needs to be made responsibly. Our choice has to be right for our children, our family unit and ourselves. I love my work and couldn’t ask for a more fulfilling career, but parenting, and doing it well, is my ultimate motivation and destination.

I’m sure you’ll find lots in our Toddlers & Teenagers issue to inspire you to nurture your child through these exciting growth phases… and still enable you to hang onto your sanity and sense of humour.

Follow us on twitter.com/ ChildMag and facebook.com/ childmag.co.za

If you love the magazine, you’ll love our website. Visit us at childmag.co.za

Hunter House PUB L IS H ING

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor

monthly circulation Joburg’s Child magazineTM Cape Town’s Child magazineTM Durban’s Child magazineTM Pretoria’s Child magazineTM

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924 844 399 445

Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor

to advertise Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680 Email: ctsales@childmag.co.za Website: childmag.co.za

Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za Alys Suter • studio2@childmag.co.za Mariette Barkhuizen • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za

Advertising PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

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Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

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All our magazines are printed on recycled paper.

Free requested Jul 12 – Sep 12

Cape Town’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios, 35 Wesley Street, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 021 465 6093, fax: 021 462 2680, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Cape Town’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy.

The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher.

We take care to ensure our articles, and other editorial content, are accurate and balanced, but cannot accept responsibility for loss, damage or inconvenience that may arise from reading them.

November 2012

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contents

november 2012

16

upfront 3

a note from lisa

6 over to you readers respond

features 16 the modern mom’s dilemma

stay-at-home mom or back to work? Helena Kingwill looks for answers to a question that has many mothers stumped

18 from boys to men

t estosterone is the catalyst that turns your little boy into an energetic young man. Kate Douglas explains

20 operation: date night

rekindle the flame between you and your partner. Jennifer Stastny shares a few experiences 22 a matter of attitude

34 swipe type learn

t echnology is changing the dynamics of our classrooms. Anél Lewis and Marc de Chazal put things into perspective

health 10 milk it

Lucille Kemp looks at the importance of milk in your child’s diet

Gary Koen gives advice on how to deal with the temperamental teenager

regulars

26 loosen those apron strings

8 wins

Lisa Lazarus looks at the complex mother-son relationship

12 best for baby – bottoms up

28 split the difference

ora Reed looks at how to teach our N children to embrace diversity

13 upfront with paul

32 first-class gifts hristina Castle offers useful tips on C what to get your child’s teacher come year end

22

a nappy rash should not turn your life upside down, says Anél Lewis

hen does your child’s relationship w with a teacher become inappropriate?

Paul Kerton looks at the warning signs

14 dealing with difference

insulin resistance can be reversed and prevented. By Marc de Chazal

38 resource – take a “sho’t left”

Lucille Kemp rounds up activities for toddlers and teenagers that are right under your nose

42 a good read

new books for the whole family

44 what’s on in november 58 finishing touch

nél Lewis can’t open things or work A with gadgets. She’s made peace with that, and so should everyone else

classified ads 50 family marketplace 54 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by: Joburg

Cape Town

Lili Gaufrette Lili Gaufrette Photograph: Alcide Rioche Photograph: Alcide Rioche Jelli Children’s Boutique Jelli Children’s Boutique

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Durban

Pretoria

Tasha Seccombe Photography tashaseccombe.com

Photograph: Chrissy Bruwer artifex.co.za

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November 2012

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letters

over to you

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

mother nature is free

the evil of TV

I’m a single mom struggling to make ends meet and I have a three-year-old daughter, Elle. I’ve realised that she enjoys a visit to the botanical garden for a picnic more than going to a mall. I would like to encourage all mothers, who like me cannot afford expensive entertainment, to familiarise your children with the great outdoors; it’s more fun and costs less.

Nobuhle

I am a Grade 1 teacher at a small private school dealing with children who have various barriers to learning, ranging from high-functioning autism to severe ADHD, as well as language delays and anxiety disorders. I am really shocked at the lack of informed parenting coming from home and a major concern of mine is the fact that 60 percent of my class go to bed at night watching TV in their rooms. They are unfortunately also the children who are behind academically. Parents need to realise the negative impact TV has both on the child’s academic performance well as on the quality of sleep. This habit also impacts on the quality of child and parent interaction. How much more precious would it be to share a bedtime story?

Louise

the seriousness of allergies In response to Tanya Page’s letter (“we need allergyfree crèches”, October 2012); I can understand her frustration. Both my children have a peanut allergy, and for the older one, it is life-threatening. When it was time to put her into school, I was extremely frustrated with the lack of knowledge on such a severe allergy. Even now in Grade 4, she encounters problems within the school environment. I feel more awareness needs to be created about these allergies or something more drastic needs to be done to either get schools to have a no-peanut zone or for better measures to be put in place to accommodate children with these allergies.

Alicia

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November 2012

thank you, Child magazine I collected my Zoob prize (“giveaways”, August 2012), and was completely blown away by how many pieces of Zoob I had won. I can’t believe the generosity of Child magazine and the prize sponsor. My children are so happy that they can’t put the set down. Thank you very much.

Lorraine Doke

I would like to thank you for the hard work that you put into Child magazine. It is a very helpful and informative magazine, as well as exciting. I have a three-month-old boy and hardly have time to search the internet, and would love to subscribe to your magazine. How do I do this? Got to go... baby is waking up…

Tracey Samuels Childmag says For subscriptions, email subs@ childmag.co.za I would like to extend my thanks for a great job done on Child magazine. I found your August 2012 issue extremely informative and educational. As a working mother, life is hectic, and it’s difficult to find the time to research for parenting tips on how to raise our children.

Thank you very much for the time spent and effort put into producing this magazine, and for enlightening us with interesting information.

Mamello I just wanted to say thank you for this prize, a getaway to Jock Safari Lodge (“giveaways”, September 2012). We didn’t have money for a honeymoon; we spent a few nights

magazine cape town

in very cheap B&Bs on our way home from Durban to Joburg. Our daughter was conceived during this trip. This time, we’ll be able to have a proper “honeymoon” with her.

Thank you so much for this amazing, once-in-a-lifetime event for our little family.

Stacey Meyer Thank you very much for your donation to Lukhanyo Orphanage and Educare. The donation of food, clothes, blankets and school materials will be put to good use.

Audrey Sullivan, on behalf of Ester Dini, Sokhene, Nana, Shaundry, Sabelo, Xhanti, Joyful, Imithandazo, Inathi, and Kuhle

pressure on the sports field I was horrified at how coaches handle children on the sports field at my daughter’s school. I was at the school when a group of Grade 4 pupils were “being punished”, according to the coach, “for not listening”. The children were made to run around the sports field five times before I intervened. At that point, most of them were holding their sides, close to tears, while the coach yelled, “I had better not see you walking”. They were simply too afraid to say something. None of the children were wearing hats at noon on a hot day. None of them had water bottles, although the coaches did. When will coaches listen?

Exercise should be fun. It’s sport, not the army.

Jacqueline

Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag and facebook.com/childmag.co.za

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handy website I visited family in Joburg recently and was introduced to Child magazine. I was really impressed with the content of the publication, as well as by the practical tips for parents.

I was so relieved to see you are also online. I’m returning to the Southern Cape knowing I can access the same information with the click of a button.

Liezel, George

get the right equipment In response to Samantha Wilson’s letter (August 2012) about the importance of parents learning CPR. It’s every parent’s worst nightmare; your child is on the rugby field, or playing netball, when an injury sends them hurtling to the ground. They’re struggling to breathe and need resuscitation. An automated external defibrillator (AED) is an important piece of equipment that could mean the difference between life and death. While it is vital for everyone to be competent in performing effective CPR, we must also remember the importance of the AED, an automatic device that will analyse the heart rhythm and deliver a lifesaving shock to the heart should this be required. It is completely safe and can be used by anyone following the audio prompts. The stark reality is that if there is a disorganised heart rhythm, CPR alone without a shock from a defibrillator, cannot bring the person back to life.

Disorganised electrical activity in the heart can occur after a heart attack, when a blood vessel feeding the heart muscle itself becomes blocked, or it may tragically follow a blow to the chest in a young, fit and otherwise healthy person. This is alarming as most people are unaware of the potential for this catastrophe, called commotio cordis, where the heart’s electrical cycle is disrupted due to blunt force to the chest from a cricket ball; an elbow or a sharp kick; a baseball bat, hockey stick or puck or a body collision.

However, if there is a defibrillator available on the scene right away, in most cases there need not be a sad ending. We need to advocate for AEDs in our schools and there should be no sporting activity allowed unless there is an AED immediately available with a team of emergency-care providers who are competent in providing good quality CPR. Remember your ABCC: if the person is not Awake, not Breathing normally or only gasping, Call for help – 112 on a cellphone or 10177 on a landline – and Compress the chest.

Martin Botha, part-time lecturer in emergency medicine at Wits University

erratum In the article “a world of difference” (October, 2012) Barkly House, Molteno Road was named as the school Matt attends. It is in fact, Barkly House, Harfield Road. Child magazine regrets the error.

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

November 2012

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wins

giveaways in november family getaway Gondwana Game Reserve is the only endemic fynbos reserve that is home to free roaming Big Five game. This private reserve is malaria-free and offers fun activities for adults and children all year round. One of these is the educational junior ranger programme, for children older than four. Contact: 021 424 5430 or reservations@gondwanagr.co.za One reader stands a chance to win a two-night stay at Gondwana Game Reserve for up to two adults and two children, including bed and breakfast, a game drive and the junior ranger programme, valued at R10 000. The prize is valid for one year from 1 December 2012 and is subject to availability. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-ct and use the code “Gondwana CT”. Your details will be made available to Gondwana Game Reserve.

spreading the christmas cheer Labels Inc provides personalised stationery including labels, cards, notepads and gift tags. They also have a fabulous Christmas range with exclusive stick figures, faces and symbols. Have fun creating your own personalised items.

Contact Lauren: 082 556 4232, info@labelsinc.co.za or visit labelsinc.co.za Ten readers stand a chance to each win a Labels Inc Christmas hamper, including greeting cards and matching labels, valued at R220. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-ct and use the code “Labels CT”. Your details will be made available to Labels Inc.

herbal health Buchulife is a range of family-friendly, all-natural products manufactured by Cape Kingdom Nutraceuticals in South Africa. This innovative and unique brand harnesses the healing and restorative power of the indigenous herb, buchu, to alleviate pain associated with inflammation and infection. For more info: visit buchulife.com Five readers stand a chance to each win a Buchulife hamper, including Buchulife First Aid Gel, Joint Health Capsules, UTI Relief Capsules and the full range of Buchulife Herbal Sparkling Waters, valued at R400. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-ct and use the code “Buchulife CT”. Your details will be made available to Cape Kingdom Nutraceuticals.

play time Play Toys is a toyshop that carries a wide range of quality educational toys and books. Find their shops at Constantia Village Mall and Cape Quarter Lifestyle Village, Green Point. Contact: 021 794 8239 (Constantia), 021 418 0796 (Green Point), info@ playtoys.co.za or visit playtoys.co.za One reader stands a chance to win a Le Toy Van Bella Doll House with furniture and playmat or a Le Toy Van Emerald Castle with a le trebucket, Budkin knights and playmat, valued at R2 000. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/winsct and use the code “Play toys CT”. Your details will be made available to Play Toys.

to enter simply visit childmag.co.za

congratulations to our September winners Bonny Cooke who wins a two-night stay for two people sharing at Shamwari Game Reserve; Julie Luyt who wins a Ryan Maron Cricket School of Excellence four-day clinic, a Powerade hamper, a Trion: Z band and Glider Eyewear; Quanita Behardien and Morgan Cromberge who each win a Spindel Laundry Dryer; and Rita

or post your entry to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Entries close 30 November 2012. Only one entry per reader. For full terms and conditions of giveaways please see “Competition Rules” on our website childmag.co.za

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November 2012

Naldrett who wins six months’ worth of vouchers for Fry’s Vegetarian products.

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November 2012

9

health

available, which one should you be drinking? LUCILLE KEMP finds out.

hat glass of milk before you go to sleep at night might be doing more than just helping you relax.

Medical research suggests that calcium, found in dairy products, may help lower high blood pressure, and reduce the risk of stroke and obesity. The Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa recommends the consumption of low-fat milk products, which contain less saturated fats, as the healthiest choice.

be guided The Nutritional Information Centre at the University of Stellenbosch (Nicus), an independent voice on nutrition, puts milk at the top of the list for good eating in children as it is an important source of energy, essential fatty acids, proteins, calcium and vitamins. In most cases full-cream cow’s milk may be introduced when your child is one year old. They don’t need more than 600ml a day as they should be getting nutrients from other food as well. If their primary source of nutrition is milk, which is a poor source of minerals such as iron, they may be deficient.

Pretoria-based paediatric dietician Cecile van Niekerk says the everyday milk that is widely accessible – low-fat and full-cream – is fine. “Lactose, or milk sugar, is healthy for blood-glucose and body-weight control so even if the amount of lactose is slightly increased, as is found in lowfat milk, it remains healthy. Milk is good for growth and development, and is a nutrient-rich snack alternative to

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November 2012

cold drinks, fruit juices and milk drinks with added sugar, which contain empty calories.” Van Niekerk recommends that your child has a tub of yoghurt, a glass of milk and a serving of low-fat cheese every day. Nicus goes on to say that if your child needs to be on a kilojoule-restricted diet, “low-fat and fat-free milk can still give them most of the vitamins and all of the minerals with considerably less fat”.

Also, the difference in the lactose content of full-cream and low-fat milk is insignificant and will not affect the total sugar content in their diet. Cape Town-based nutritional therapist Sara Bilbe believes we should not be consuming low-fat products. “The fat content in food helps slow down the digestion or release of sugar from food, that’s why low-fat milk having less fat to slow down the absorption of lactose, has a higher GI than full-cream milk.”

other options If your child is allergic to cow milk protein, give them soy milk, says Van Niekerk. If they’re allergic to both, introduce calcium-rich foods into their diet. Be aware that rice milk does not have any nutritional value for children. If your child is not allergic to all animal milk, Bilbe recommends whole, raw goat’s milk as the best alternative. Full-fat soy milk and goat’s milk can be introduced after 12 months.

If your child does suffer from food allergies, your best bet is to consult your paediatrician and a registered dietitian for advice.

what’s in that glass?

full-cream milk

fat: 3,5% or 3,5g per 100ml; energy: 260kJ/100ml; calcium: 120mg; suitable: for one to two year olds

low-fat milk fat: 2% or 2g per 100ml; energy: 208kJ/100ml; calcium: 122mg; suitable: can be introduced at the age of two, if your child is overweight, but preferably only from age five

fat-free milk fat: 0,18g per 100ml; energy: 146kJ/100ml;

calcium:

123mg

(slightly more than other types as nutrients are concentrated after the removal of fat); suitable: preferably only after the age of five Source: rediscoverdairy.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

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milk it

Dairy is an important part of a balanced diet, but with so many types of milk

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November 2012

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best for baby

bottoms up Although nappy rash is fairly common, affecting most babies at some time, it helps to know how it can be treated. By ANÉL LEWIS

what’s that rash?

In standard irritant nappy dermatitis, the baby will have red, moist and sometimes scaly patches on the genital and

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finding relief Essack recommends leaving the nappy off as much as possible, to allow the skin to dry. Make sure your child is changed frequently, and as soon as possible after a bowel movement, especially if you use cloth nappies.

Barrier ointments, such as zinc oxide pastes, petroleum jelly and other unmedicated barrier preparations, are the “mainstays” of treatment, and should be applied after every nappy change.

However, Essack emphasises that baby powder on the nappy area offers no antibacterial benefit. Gentle cleansing, not rubbing, with water or a non-perfumed cleanser, will help to soothe the area. A topical anticandidal cream can be used if there is a thrush infection.

Kapnias says creams with irritants such as ammonia, sodium lauryl sulphates or parabens could irritate your baby’s sensitive skin. Cortisone treatments should only be used as a short-term solution. Topical creams with probiotics will help prevent and soothe nappy rash, he says. The good news, adds Essack, is that even the most severe nappy rash will sort itself out when your child is potty trained, and you can ditch the nappy for good.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

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hat telltale red mark on your baby’s bottom usually means she has nappy rash, one of the most common dermatological conditions to occur in infants and young children. Dr Irshad Essack, a Joburg-based dermatologist, says there are several causes of nappy dermatitis, but the initiating factor is usually a prolonged and increased wetness of the skin. This causes frictional damage, which reduces the skin’s barrier function, making it more susceptible to irritants such as urine and faeces. Cape Town general practitioner Dr Costa Kapnias says the extended use of antibiotics, which may cause a secondary thrush infection, could also contribute to nappy rash. Washing powders that are harsh on the skin, as well as some synthetic materials in nappies, may exacerbate the problem.

bottom areas. The second most common type of nappy rash is candida diaper dermatitis, caused by the thrush fungus. Your baby may have signs of thrush in her mouth too. Essack says thrush from the intestine will contaminate any type of nappy rash that is present for more than three days. Milaria rubra will show as a fine red rash in places where the plastic parts of a nappy can block the ducts of the sweat glands.

Nappy rash may also appear for reasons other than a wet nappy or an infection. Essack says seborrhoeic dermatitis is easily identified by red eruptions with a waxy, yellow scale. Your baby’s scalp may also be affected, with cradle cap, as well as the eyebrows, underarms, behind the ears and the nappy area. Atopic dermatitis occurs in children with an allergic condition, such as asthma or allergic rhinitis. In babies, the rash is concentrated on the scalp, face, behind the knees and elbows and in the nappy area. Other conditions include psoriasis, an inflammatory disorder; bullous impetigo, a blistering form of a bacterial skin infection; scabies, which is a highly contagious itchy rash with small bumps; and herpes simplex infection, which causes painful ulcers to appear in the genital area.

upfront with paul

dangerous liaisons While a close relationship between your child and their teacher is encouraged, watch out for any inappropriate behaviour, says PAUL KERTON.

PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

a

s I write this, there are reports of a 15-year-old British girl who “eloped” with her 30-year-old teacher to France, without a kiss or a goodbye to her parents. Quite apart from the fact that she is under the age of consent, or that the teacher is married, or that while they are cavorting around the Continent she is missing vital lessons and exams; eloping – in every respect – is a dumb move for both of them, and exposes the very slippery side of teacher-pupil relationships.

Okay, we can consider for a nanosecond the intense fairy-tale “romance” of being so much in love, something the French authorities did when they refused to search for the couple or arrest them, as they could see “nothing wrong”. But you know, and I know, that when the teacher’s small, ecofriendly saloon runs out of petrol, it will all end in tears.

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Hands up anyone who hasn’t had a crush on a teacher? Thought so. This is a universal trend for pupils of a certain age. You can even see it as early as nursery school, where children fall in love with their loving, warm and cuddly carers.

It’s innocent enough. The danger zone is when children reach prepuberty and their hormones start bombarding them with thoughts of all things amorous. I remember being smitten by my Parisian French teacher, Mademoiselle Maygrit.

She was young, which gave the mistaken impression that she might possibly be attainable; she was sassy and stylish; she spoke with that very husky, sexy French accent, and wafted about the crusty school corridors like a splash of Chanel No. 5. Predictably, there was never any liaison dangereuse. But if a crush is bad for boys, it is far worse for girls who,

we’re constantly reminded, mature earlier.

While boys are still swapping football stickers, girls are looking to older men for experience, money, cars and all the trappings of real life. This is when the alarm bells ring.

Judging by the morning papers, they should be ringing. As a result of the front page eloping story, the press has been awash with an epidemic of lurid eyepopping follow-up tales and confessions involving every permutation of illicit teacher-pupil goings on. The process is made all the more easier because of the much-maligned social media. But remember, social media is not the problem; it is just the delivery system.

The illusion is that classrooms globally have become hotbeds of teacher-pupil speed dating, which we know not to be true since the vast majority of teachers and

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

pupils maintain a respectable position on either side of the unbroken line of trust: in loco parentis. Yes, it is fantastic that your children love their teacher and the teacher loves them, and you cannot underestimate the sheer joy a teacher gets from teaching a pupil who actually wants to learn, but there are limits to the closeness of this bond.

And this is something we, as parents, need to discreetly police.

I would suggest that a teacher who is seen by his colleagues holding the hand of his girl pupil on a plane, on the way back from a school trip to a foreign land, may have been an early warning sign that the line had been crossed, before they took it a step further and eloped.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

November 2012

13

dealing with difference

take a weight off It sounds ominous but syndrome X, or insulin resistance, can be reversed with a healthy diet and regular exercise, says MARC DE CHAZAL.

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one in 10 the number of adults who have diabetes

unaware of it. There are an estimated 300 million people with diabetes worldwide and this figure is predicted to climb to 500 million by 2030. Local statistics from government are unreliable, but estimates suggest that one in 10 adults in South Africa has diabetes. It is causally linked to the global and national obesity epidemic, which has not spared children. More and more children are becoming obese and with it we are seeing a rise in insulin resistance and even type 2 diabetes, previously seen only in adults.

Children with high calorie, high carb and high fat diets, who don’t do any meaningful exercise, are being diagnosed with metabolic syndrome. It’s a lifestyle disease that has its origins in our modern-day food choices, portions and anti-exercise pastimes. The progression from this to diabetes and other lifethreatening diseases is a growing problem.

But here’s the good news: insulin resistance is completely reversible, as is early type magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

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hen nine-year-old Melissa* started to gain weight around her waist and was always tired, her mom, Amy*, thought her daughter may have developed diabetes.

Their family doctor tested Melissa’s blood sugar and found the levels to be higher than they ought to be. A clinical dietician then tested her for impaired glucose tolerance. Melissa didn’t have diabetes, but she was diagnosed with insulin resistance syndrome, otherwise known as metabolic syndrome or syndrome X, which puts people at risk for developing type 2 diabetes. This syndrome is also associated with obesity, cardiovascular disease and related health problems.

Insulin resistance is the primary catalyst for the development of type 2 diabetes which, according to Diabetes SA, is the most common form of diabetes in the world. Type 2 diabetes has a more gradual onset than type 1 diabetes and for this reason is harder to detect. The disease works silently, wreaking internal damage as high blood sugars accumulate, which may lead to heart disease, blindness, kidney failure, impotence and amputations.

Keegan Hall of Diabetes SA, who lives with type 1 diabetes, estimates that 50 percent of South Africans who have diabetes are

2 diabetes. The challenge for parents who have children in this risk group is rather simple: make the necessary lifestyle changes in your family and you will lower the risk of your child developing type 2 diabetes.

what is insulin resistance?

Imagine you have just eaten a delicious meal.

The food gets digested in your stomach and the result is a spike in your blood glucose level. Your pancreas jumps into action and releases insulin, a hormone which helps the cells in your body take in glucose and put it to good use. If your body is insulin resistant, your muscle, fat and liver cells don’t respond properly to insulin. The result is that your pancreas releases more insulin to get the job done. Eventually the pancreas fails to keep up with the body’s demand for more insulin and the glucose that should have been converted into energy builds up in your bloodstream.

amount of rubbish food children consume is a real problem and I’m convinced this is a big reason for the development of diabetes and heart problems later on in life,” she says. “I advocate a low-GI diet for children with insulin resistance, which is essentially a type 2 diabetic diet that helps to lower the amount of insulin released in the blood.” Low-GI foods are absorbed very slowly into the bloodstream and tend to keep blood glucose values more stable for longer periods than intermediate- and high-GI foods.

Hume estimates that 65 percent of the solution is exercise. “I’m not talking about a slow walk around the park, but a very active lifestyle. If children in this risk group shed their excess weight by eating properly and getting enough physical activity, we can prevent the incidence of insulin resistance or reverse it if it has already developed,” she says. Exercise alone is a poor tool for bringing about weight loss, but is

The simplest test is to put your child on a scale.

Dr David Segal, a paediatric endocrine and diabetes specialist in Joburg, points out that insulin resistance doesn’t usually present noticeable symptoms. “People may have insulin resistance and/or prediabetes for several years without noticing any related health problems,” he says.

“Elevated insulin levels, a precursor of diabetes, can be suspected if someone has dark patches of skin, most often on the back of the neck, called acanthosis nigricans.” Dr Segal doesn’t advise that parents rush their children off to a doctor for blood tests to measure insulin levels, which seems to be a popular trend. “The simplest test is to put your child on a scale,” he says.

move it Clinical dietician Tabitha Hume believes one of the main contributing factors in insulin resistance is too much of the wrong fat in our diet and bodies. Hume does not advocate restricting the intake of food, but rather choosing the right food. “The

fabulous for preventing diabetes and improving cardiovascular health. Children such as Melissa, who are diagnosed with insulin resistance, are often treated with metformin, a drug commonly used to manage type 2 diabetes. But Segal says “scientific studies have found that metformin is half as effective as diet and exercise in preventing the progression to diabetes”.

It is estimated that 90 percent of type 2 diabetes cases can be prevented by changing to a healthier diet and increasing physical activity. Another prudent reason to reverse the trend of sedentary lifestyles and obesity-related insulin resistance is the psychological impact on our children.

Amy admits that her daughter needed professional counselling after children teased her at school for being overweight.

Melissa is now 11 years old and has shown a remarkable improvement since her mother made changes to the family’s diet and enrolled her for regular swimming classes. *Names have been changed.

risk factors for insulin resistance and diabetes • • • • •

a family history of a first-degree relative with type 2 diabetes; being overweight or obese; having been born to a mother who had diabetes or gestational diabetes; being born small or large for gestational age; or coming from an at-risk ethnic group, such as South African Indian.

valuable contacts National office: 011 886 3765, national@diabetessa.co.za or visit diabetessa.co.za Western Cape: 021 425 4440 or capewc@diabetessa.co.za Durban: 0861 222 717 or durban@diabetessa.co.za Pretoria: 083 574 0959 or pretoriadiabetes@hotmail.com

magazine cape town

November 2012

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relationships

the modern mom’s dilemma Stay at home with your children or balance working and mothering?

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HELENA KINGWILL urges you to plan for whatever decision you make.

hen Cape Town freelance photographer Charline Hope, 41, fell pregnant, she proudly announced the news. To her surprise, her main client “dropped her like a hot coal”. She continued to work, but as time wore on, she became more and more distracted by her new important role as a mother.

When her baby was seven months old she hired a fulltime nanny to help her cope with balancing motherhood and her career. Charline found that when she was not physically out on a shoot, she struggled to find time to do the admin necessary to maintain the work flow. “It was hard to keep the mind-set,” she explains. When the phone rings, it’s not that easy to sound professional with a baby in your arms. “I felt like a failure at being a mom and doing my job.” Charline remembers, “I couldn’t give 100 percent to either. I began to feel so guilty, rushed and haggard. It was useless.”

By the time she had her third child, she surrendered to being mostly a mom, but she still hopes to return to her photography career one day. “I worry about losing my contacts and keeping up with the industry,” says Charline.

“It’s important to keep a foot in the door.” In the meantime she has invested in a retail business, which allows her to work half-days while being fully present with her children in the afternoons.

time together? How will not having the income affect the outcome for the whole family? It’s a tough decision.

“We put too much pressure on ourselves to be supermoms,” says Charline. “The key is not to fight it, but to be in it,” she advises. “Enjoy being a mother, and enjoy being with your children while they are small. By the time they reach the age of four, they can go to play group and have playdates. Ideally, parents should financially plan for time off so that mothers can play this sacred role for a few years,” she says.

changing world For many women in South Africa, there is no choice but to juggle work and parenting. According to Statistics SA only one-third (33,5 percent) of children live with both

structures no longer play a part in raising the children.

Now, countless women, like Camilla, find themselves having to do it all alone.

The consequences of this breakdown in society were addressed recently at a United Nations conference dealing with the matter of balancing work and family. “Out of choice and necessity, women enter the paid labour force in growing numbers, where they are often discriminated against in access to employment and benefits. At the same time, both women and girls continue to bear most of the responsibilities for the household. In all regions, women spend at least twice as much time as men on unpaid domestic work,” said Professor O’Brien, codirector of the Centre for Research on the Child and Family at the University of East Anglia in the UK. O’Brien said that some research showed that, “Stable parental care for infants is of utmost importance and recommended.

Optimally, young children should not be left in poor quality, non-parental care arrangements.” International research indicates, “Maternity leave provisions have been associated with a reduction in mortality and morbidity and higher rates of breast-feeding. Paternal leave-taking often results in fathers’ practical and emotional investment in infant care and has been linked to a higher level of father involvement in family responsibilities later on.”

With statements like this being made at an international level, perhaps there is hope of new policies being implemented in South Africa. Beyond maternity and paternity leave, wouldn’t it be great if childcare was a tax-deductible expense? It is, after all, a necessity for selfemployed parents working from home. Unfortunately, the trend is to fall for the remote control option as illustrated by cartoonist Nate Beeler in answer to the controversial Time magazine cover photo “Attachment Parenting”. It

half in, half out Making a living while simultaneously being available to one’s children is a challenge, which seems to be intensifying as the cost of living rises. It all boils down to time or money. Do you choose to spend the money on paying someone else to look after your children so that you can work to make more money? Or do you decide to forfeit your career and spend the time doing the job of caring for your children as you want to harvest the benefits of having spent that formative

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parents. Social security is minimal and single parents have to find a way to make ends meet.

Single mom Camilla Walker, 40, from Durban says that the challenge of being a single mom is compounded by the fact that she feels she has to compensate for her son’s father not being around.

“I resent the time I have to spend away from Dylan when I have to work overtime or on weekends. It breaks my heart but I have no choice. Besides, I need the stimulation and to keep that side of my life alive and dynamic. It is good for Dylan too, that his mom has a life outside of the home,” she explains.

As the saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child,” but worldwide, demographics have shifted to urban environments where extended families and tribal

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

We put too much pressure on ourselves to be supermoms. The key is not to fight it, but to be in it.

showed a picture of a four-year-old boy standing while being breast-fed by his mother. Beeler’s cartoon shows an obese child with remote control in hand sucking on a takeaway milkshake straw for a breast, while staring up at the TV-screen head of a mother figure composed of fast-food and gadgets. Of course, it doesn’t have to be like that. It all depends on your choices.

what works for you?

Life is not a bed of roses for the married stay-at-home mother either. Annie Finch, 44, of Randburg discloses that being financially dependent on her husband makes her feel like a child. “I don’t feel like I have much clout when my husband and I have to make decisions, because I am not putting any money on the table. And that comes from my low self-esteem as a result of not working, and not from him,” she says. Being dependent makes her feel vulnerable.

“What if anything were to happen to him? I need to study further in order to be able to start earning properly again,” she explains.

Another reason Annie wants to get back to work is because she feels it’s unhealthy beyond preschool level for mothers to be eternally available and at the service of their children. “Except perhaps when they are ill, so a flexible job would be ideal,” she ponders. She makes the point that, “As a role model for your child, it is important to show them that you have a life beyond just being a caregiver.

What’s more, the child needs to learn from your example that she does not have to be available to everyone who needs her attention.”

Role models have a great influence on the big career versus parenting decision. Most women whose parents played traditional family roles, where their mother stayed home and their father worked, feel more comfortable playing the same roles in their own families. Looking ahead, your career choices may indirectly affect your

magazine cape town

children’s choices, not to mention your relationship with your partner over money. Think back to your own parents.

How open were they with each other about money? Was it a bone of contention?

a plan in place Although we have come a long way, much of the feminine psyche still falls down the slippery slope of fairy-tale fantasy. Oh to be swept off by that handsome prince...

Now that I have grown up, I wonder if the princess would be given an allowance for her personal needs, or paid a salary for all her royal duties. Would it be agreed upon before the wedding? Or would she have to awkwardly raise the subject when she ran out of sanitary pads?

Relationship counsellor, leadership and life coach Mary Ovenstone points out that research has proven that women have a hard-wired biological need to be cared for and protected, especially while caring for babies. She argues that even in the 21st century, a woman should not feel guilty about not working when she is doing the important job of mothering nor should she have to surrender control or her dignity, because of money, while she cares for her baby.

“It’s not okay for a woman to lose her power, her choices or her responsibility for the family finances because of

helpful family budgeting websites • frugality-for-today.com/

not being able to earn,” Mary points out. She strongly urges couples to plan ahead and have open discussions about money.

Mary has developed what she calls the “Yours, Mine and Ours” budget model, which includes a separate allowance for each partner and a communal pot. Each partner contributes to the pot proportionally to his or her earnings. “As a result, neither is the archetypal ‘child’ or ‘slave’ without any say in the financial equation. When they move in together they should establish this pattern,” she recommends.

Choosing between work and parenting all comes down to being open and honest with yourself and your partner about your needs and priorities. Sit down and do your accounting and look at where you are spending your energy and where you would rather spend it. This may help you find an even keel in battling the stormy ocean of economic survival versus the demands of children. And if you are a new mother facing the reality of the dilemma, remember, there is no right or wrong answer. My only advice is to listen to your heart, trust your instincts and remember that no matter what: being a parent is the most important job you will ever do. Although it is unpaid, the rewards are priceless.

you told us I’m a working mom

family-budget.html • budgetworksheets.org • Microsoft Excel –

I’m a work-from-home mom

download a Monthly Family Budget Workbook • oldmutual.co.za

I’m a stay-at-home mom

on childmag.co.za

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November 2012

17

health

from boys

to men

Testosterone may be to blame for your son’s transformation into an energetic and boisterous young man. KATE DOUGLAS finds out more.

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estosterone is a hormone with quite a reputation.

It’s often associated with aggressive behaviour, masculinity or steroid-using bodybuilders with bulging pectorals and squeaky voices. Cape Town fertility specialist Dr Sascha Edelstein says, “Testosterone is a steroid hormone that is required for male reproductive health. It is produced in small amounts by the adrenal glands and in large amounts by the testes. Both males and females have the same sex hormones, just in different amounts.”

Testosterone is responsible for male puberty with surging levels promoting the growth of facial and pubic hair, the growth of the reproductive tract, development of the prostate and scrotum, and increases in the length and diameter of the penis. It maintains adult sexual behaviour and is required for sperm production, says Edelstein. It also causes anabolic changes such as growth spurts, an increase in strength and muscle bulk, thickening of the vocal chords and the development of sexual libido.

failure or steroid hormone pathway defects.” Examples of hypothalamic or pituitary defects include Kallmann syndrome; cryptorchidism, which is the failure of the testes to move into the scrotum, and microphallus, an unusually small penis. “Failure of pubertal development can also be due to disorders of sexual differentiation that were not diagnosed during infancy or childhood.”

But most often, low levels of testosterone simply means they’re slow developers. “Once hormonal or other causes of delayed puberty have been excluded, reassurance is really important as both parents and adolescents find it very stressful,” says Kelly. Puberty will occur, even if a bit later than desired. Care should also be taken to recognise and support the adolescent in terms of any psychological distress experienced about feeling different, being teased or being excluded from social or sporting activities.”

testing Testosterone testing is easy, with a health professional requiring a simple blood sample. However, according to Edelstein, an evaluation of delayed puberty requires a thorough family and medical history, physical exam and biochemical evaluation. “Management depends on the specific case, but may include testosterone replacement therapy to induce puberty.”

boys behaving badly

normal testosterone levels Before puberty, a boy’s testosterone level generally ranges from undetectable to 20 nanograms per decilitre (ng/dL) of blood. Some studies suggest that immediately after birth and again at around the age of four, a boy may have slightly elevated levels of testosterone, but this typically drops to normal after six months to a year. However, when a boy hits puberty, his testosterone levels skyrocket and can rise to nearly 1 000ng/dL. “Puberty is the time when we are first able to reproduce,” says Edelstein. “It is marked by the maturation of the genital organs, development of secondary sex characteristics and acceleration in growth as well as behavioural changes.”

Puberty is driven by two separate physiological processes: adrenarche and gonadarche. “Adrenarche is the maturation of the adrenal glands, with the release of adrenal hormones (androgens) that leads to the growth

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testosterone in girls The first sign of puberty in girls is the development

The timing of puberty, and its hormonal changes, has a strong genetic component. of sexual hair (pubic and facial hair),” says Edelstein.

“Gonadarche comprises growth and maturation of the testes, with the associated increase in secretion of testosterone and sperm production.”

While girls may start to develop secondary sex characteristics from the age of eight, boys usually only start puberty from nine and a half years of age.

“The timing of puberty, and its hormonal changes, has a strong genetic component,” says Joburg-based child psychiatrist Dr Linda Kelly. “If a child’s parents are ‘late developers’ then it’s more likely that the child will be too.”

too much or too little High testosterone levels in a boy younger than 10 usually means early or precocious puberty, but it could also be a sign of a tumour in the testicles or an abnormal adrenal gland.

If a pubescent boy has low levels of testosterone, it could be a sign of a problem with the testicles, caused by an injury or slow development. Edelstein says, “A delay in the onset of puberty can be due to a disorder of the hypothalamus or pituitary gland, testicular

of breasts, and this should not occur before the age of eight, says Dr David Segal, a Joburg-based paediatric endocrine and diabetes specialist. Ten percent of girls may develop pubic hair before breasts in puberty. Pubic hair, body odour or axillary hair development in isolation is caused by the activation of the adrenal gland and, with it, the production of weak testosterone. “These should also not be present before the age of eight, in either sex,” says Segal. Although girls are showing signs of breast development at a younger age, the age of the first period, at about 12 years, has not changed.

Segal says you should look out for signs of breast budding before the age of six and pubic hair or body odour before the age of eight. He recommends taking your child to see a specialist if you suspect early puberty. The growth acceleration brought on by the early onset of puberty hormones may result in a short stature later in life, as this leads to premature growth plate closure in the bones. Environmental factors, such as exposure to bisphenol-A products and hormones in milk and meat, as well as obesity, could bring on early puberty.

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

The level of testosterone is controlled by the pituitary gland, and it plays a role in human behaviour. The brain has testosterone receptors where the hormone interacts and binds with neurons, communicating to them messages for action. These messages are generalised as aggressive or masculine. Boys are socialised towards masculine behaviour from the moment the doctor announces, “It’s a boy”. They are given action figures rather than Barbies and they’re taught to play rough contact sports, such as rugby. Socialisation teaches them that aggression is a masculine trait.

However, when it comes to physical development, the role testosterone plays is clear. Boys often only start getting taller later than girls, but they grow faster because of their higher testosterone levels. These levels also increase the amount of haemoglobin or oxygen-carrying proteins in the red blood cells. This means that more oxygen can be delivered to the muscles, making it easier for teenage boys to become fitter and stronger.

magazine cape town

November 2012

19

relationships

operation:

date night Beg your relatives, call in favours, pay good money if you have to: just make sure you and your partner spend some quality (child-free) time together, writes JENNIFER STASTNY.

perk #1 You get to doll yourself up.

My body, once a plaything, is now a tool for the maintenance of my offspring. And you don’t dress up a spanner, do you? Date Night is the fallen fashionista’s opportunity to reclaim her (or his) dress sense. Don’t let it slip past. “Even though I’m often tired, I always make an effort with my appearance on Date Night,” says Roxanne van Eck,

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30, mother to 11-month-old Mia. “I love showing my husband that I can still shine like a new penny.”

perk #2 You get to talk about something other than your offspring.

Of course, you’ll end up doing that too, but eventually you’ll find that you’ve recounted all the munchkin anecdotes you can think of and the conversation will turn to other things. “Once we’re finished talking about Maddie and work, we almost always get to talking about our dreams and things that we need to discuss about ‘us’,” says 30-year-old Candy Preston, mother to oneyear-old Madison. “We don’t get around to that depth of conversation when we’re busy with the mundane tasks of life.”

For Candy’s husband, Brad, 30, the thing that makes Date Night special is the laughing together. “When Maddie’s around she’s our number-one entertainer, but it’s good to laugh at each other the way we did when we were dating,” he says.

Don’t worry if your chitchat doesn’t quite skip out of the child loop. The important thing is that you create the space for conversation. “Ultimately, time spent talking directly to each other, looking into each other’s eyes, is an investment in your relationship, no matter what you’re talking about,” says Candy.

perk #3 You get to spoil your partner.

It’s not unusual for parents to focus all their attention on their children, leaving little or magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

i

’m considering asking the president to declare 6 January a public holiday in honour of my first date with my husband after our baby was born. Since then, our monthly adults-only outing has been a fortress of sanity in the hurricane that is my life. Not only does it give me the opportunity to wear clothes that don’t have food ground into the seams, I get to eat a whole meal without little fingers snatching the food away and I get to have a conversation. Oh, the pleasure of being able to talk in a grown-up voice! What a tweat.

I knew it was time to start dating my husband again when, instead of kissing him goodbye one morning, I lifted his shirt and zorbited his tummy. I soon discovered that the once simple task of going out for a meal now required bullish determination, military planning and adamantine courage.

Those guys who throw themselves off Table Mountain in squirrel suits have nothing on the new parents who look their baby in the tear-sprung eye and go out for dinner anyway. So why do it, when the emotional cost seems so high? Because of the perks, of course.

no energy for each other. This is doubly true for the parents of twins. “My life revolves around Ella and Connor. By the time they’ve gone to bed, I’m exhausted.

Sometimes I don’t even have the energy to ask my husband how his day went,” says Joanne Seymour, 40, mother to 11-monthold twins. She and her husband, Hilary, 49, make a point of going out every second week and take turns organising surprise dates for each other. Once Joanne packed a bag for Hilary and they went dancing; once he took her to a swanky restaurant for dinner. “The sun was setting and the restaurant staff opened the doors so that we could smell the sea,” says Hilary. “It was the perfect weather for it. We had a truly memorable and romantic evening.”

Date Night is the antidote for inevitable spousal neglect. Dad gets to remember what Mom was like before children – an intelligent, sexy woman capable of making his mind race and his eyes pop – and Dad gets to show Mom that he is still her “hunka-hunka burning love”. Marcelle Morgan, 40-year-old mother to Nathan, four, and one-year-old Nina, says “When we go out, I try to get into the headspace I was in when my husband and I were first dating. I charm and flirt and make him feel super. The rewards over the next month, when he makes me feel good after an exhausting day, make it worth it.”

perk #4 Your relationship grows.

If a relationship is like a garden that needs constant tending to grow, children are like

the moles that dig everything up, but are just too darn cute to get rid of. When those moles move out – as all moles eventually do – the question of whether your garden needs just a little compost or whether it needs to be landscaped from scratch depends largely on how much time the two of you spent nurturing your bond with each other in the growing years. “Before you realise it you’ll be in your sixties and the children will be out of the house,” says Roxanne’s husband, Jack, 38. “It’s important that you go on date nights now so that you can have a solid marriage when that day comes.”

perk #5 You will love your little one more.

Of course you love your children all the time. But when you’ve spent the better part of the day trying to convince them that big boys use a potty, that avocado is not evil snot food and that it is not okay to hang their younger sister upside down from the swing (even if said sibling is crowing with laughter), love sometimes loses ground to frustration and fatigue. On the other hand, a scrumptious meal enjoyed at leisure with a caring partner… well, that’s like sun to a Cape daisy. It opens one up, gives one energy and warms the heart so that one can really feel the love again.

And that’s the best thing about Date Night for me: after it has worked its magic and I feel in synch with my spouse again, I get to go home and plant a kiss on the cheek of the most wonderful little moppet a mother could want.

dating for dummies mummies Get out of the nest with these tips from parents who have been there.

Don’t wait too long “There’s no reason to wait until your child is older before going out. You can start as soon as he or she is in a comfortable routine and you have a reliable babysitter.

It will help get your first-date-without-baby nervousness out of the way so that you can start having fun.” Joanne Seymour, mother to twins, 11 months Turn Date Night into Date Day “Going out at night may be the last thing on your mind if your child is a bad sleeper or prone to nightmares, so go out during the day instead. Children are often open to being looked after by a babysitter during the day, plus you’ll be less likely to fall asleep mid-date if you go out earlier.” Marcelle Morgan, 40, mother to Nathan, four, and Nina, one Preparation is key “Make sure there’s extra of everything when you drop your baby off with the babysitter: food, clothes, even bedding in case there’s an accident. Also pack their favourite toy for comfort – anything to help make the babysitter’s job easier.”

Roxanne van Eck, mother to Mia, 11 months Swap sleepovers with a friend “Trading sleepovers with your child’s school friends becomes an option after the age of eight or so, although this differs for each child. The key to a successful sleepover, particularly on a school night, is making sure you trade with like-minded parents when it comes to things like homework before play- and bedtime. And if your child has slept over at a friend’s, remember to return the favour soon to keep the goodwill flowing.” Susan Perry, 50, mother to Amelie, nine

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November 2012

21

straight talk

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hile not all parents are going to have major problems with their teenagers getting involved with drugs or alcohol and with other serious disciplinary issues, most will have trouble with their teenager’s new attitude. In some respects, having to deal with the transformation your child goes through when they become a teenager is similar to the shock of becoming a parent for the first time.

Just when you thought you were getting the hang of this parent thing, and that you were actually gaining control of your life, they go and become teenagers and those familiar feelings of bewilderment and confusion return. The next thing you know, you’re on the back foot again; doubting yourself, stressing and wondering if you are ever going to get your life back. It’s like starting all over again, although fortunately this time there are no nappies involved.

Unfortunately though, there are also very few of those angelic smiles to look forward to. Instead,

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you have negotiations, discussions, demands, criticism, disappointment, noise, moods and, of course, attitude to contend with. The new demands will sometimes be physically as exhausting, and equally unrewarding, as looking after a baby. The arrangements will be complex and unexpected, the hours they keep will sometimes be as tiring as when you woke up to feed them as a baby and the demands will be repetitive, unceasing and, at times, quite irrational.

At least when they were little you could hug them and snuggle up with them. Now you may find that the hugs are less forthcoming and more awkward, and you can more or less forget about snuggling up with your teenager.

from a distance Also, when they were small their main mission was to try and stay as close and connected to you as possible. Now they are mostly interested in getting as far away from you as they can. A school camp

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

a matter of attitude

Raising a teenager can be a lot like dealing with a newborn – the sleepless nights, their indecipherable moods and your feelings of helplessness. GARY KOEN offers advice.

spent with mates and their host parents will be described as “the most fun” your son has ever had in his whole life.

You will have to hear, in lurid detail, all that is wrong with everything that you do and say.

All that you represent comes under microscopic scrutiny, as your flaws are quickly noted, remembered and exposed. Judgments are made easily, words will be put into your mouth, and accusations of you being hurtful, uncaring, indifferent and unhelpful will abound. So, while it might not be the birth of a new baby that you have to deal with, this birth of a new attitude will prove as challenging and confusing.

the power shift It heralds the beginning of your teenager’s newfound power, which is to be able to do and say things that can directly affect your life. When they were younger, their actions and their effect on your life were largely circumstantial and often quite easy to deal with. You may have had to race them to hospital at 3am when they were sick, they may have gone missing in a shopping

magazine cape town

mall or they might have been involved in some or other skirmish at school that required a meeting with teachers.

While stressful, in most cases these issues were quite easily resolved. This is not the case when they become teenagers. Now they can steal your car, they can fall pregnant, they’re able to sneak out at night and hitchhike into town, lie their way into an over-18’s nightclub and then get arrested. They can take drugs, vandalise a building or assault another person. Or they may simply refuse to speak to you.

There comes a time when you can’t make your son or daughter do something. They have the power to either include you in their lives or shut you out. If for some or other reason they decide that they are not going to talk to you, there’s not much you can do. You can’t, despite the urge, reach over and choke a response from them.

Instead, your only course of action is to let them know, in no uncertain terms, that you have noticed what is going on and although you might not know why they are doing it, or what you can do about it, the one thing you are not going to do is be quiet about it.

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23

straight talk

maintain control It is difficult to ignore the moody recluse behind the locked door. Their inarticulate grunts and surly indifference is very noticeable. Your teenager can also be hurtful, hateful, callous, critical and rude.

At the same time, you will feel increasingly uncomfortable as you become aware of how limited your power is at this point.

You cannot leap into your child’s heart and wring a different attitude out of him. You cannot command her to “be” something different; you cannot “make” him feel something else. It may start to feel as though you really are losing complete control of the situation.

However, it is important that parents do not panic at moments like these. You need to remember the old mantra that comes with being the parent of a teenager: “Your role is to be anxious; not helpless”. You must not lose your voice in these situations, because the power that you still have is to be able to tell your teenager what is going on with you. The only way in which you retain your own power and identity as a parent is by being able to express your frustration and anxiety about what they are doing. In this way, you give them the message that they might be able to choose how they are going to relate to you, but they still need to understand that their behaviour is going to have consequences for you and for them.

Basically, if they are going to be skulking around the house all morose, their mood is going to have an effect on yours as well. If they are going to be secretive

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and avoidant, or if they are going to be deliberately outrageous and out of control, or if they are going to be visibly upset and not want to tell you what’s going on, it is going to affect the way you see them and the way you are going to relate to them.

Slowly it should dawn on them that there are actually two of you in the relationship, and that they have to live with you too.

Only once this realisation sinks in is there a chance of working out what to do next. In this regard, part of the responsibility for the relationship is entrusted to them. This is part of the transition taking place from an adult-child relationship towards an adultadult relationship. Your teenager needs to know that they have the power to affect your life. And the only way in which you retain your ability to affect your teenager’s life is by remaining the parent.

Here is a practical example.

Your 15-year-old son might ask to go camping one weekend with some friends. The weekend involves paying for accommodation and there may be some equipment involved. It’s not a simple “Yes, of course” answer. He begs and pleads and appears delighted when, after some consideration, you agree to let him go.

You don’t hear much from him when he is away, and when you pick him up on Sunday afternoon, he is curt and barely greets you, lapsing into empty silence on the way home. Now he may simply be exhausted as he may have hardly slept or he may have had a fight with his friends and be upset and disappointed. He may have been drinking and smoking dope magazine cape town

and be suffering both the guilt and the physical effects of his indulgence. It could be all of these things or it could be none of them – the point is that you don’t know what’s going on. You can’t necessarily make him tell you about the weekend, but you can tell him what it is that you feel, and that you don’t like what you see.

You don’t appreciate what appears to be his ingratitude and, quite frankly, you are worried about the state that he is in.

Now at this point he may simply grunt and say, “Chill Mom, I had a great time.

I’m exhausted and can’t really talk about it right now,” which is all that you really wanted to know.

It could also be a boy thing – most don’t really know how to tell a story, while girls understand that the only way to properly tell a story is to include every single detail. However, what you don’t want is to be shut out or dismissed in any way. Naturally there are times to back off

of continuing to play a meaningful role in their teenager’s life.

Another thing parents have to realise is that they cannot feel overly responsible for their teenager’s moods. Many make the mistake of trying to keep their teenager “happy”. This is not actually your responsibility, and some fall into the trap of being kept hostage by their teenager’s moods. Obviously, you must be concerned if they are deeply and consistently unhappy, but don’t make their every mood your responsibility.

What you will discover is that in many cases their unhappiness is as fleeting as their happiness. Just because they do not like something, does not mean that they are unhappy. The best that you can do is provide enough space, stability and opportunity for them to find themselves.

Their happiness is of paramount importance to you, but your children have to find ways to make themselves happy.

There is often a tendency among parents to be too cautious around their children so as to avoid alienating their teenager. and leave them alone, but if you decide to do that you must say, “I will back off and leave you alone right now, but later on I need to know what is going on.” The important thing to remember here is that you really just need to hear something that will alleviate your anxiety and reassure you that everything is still okay.

you are still the parent There is often a tendency among parents to be too cautious around their children so as to avoid alienating their teenager.

Parents, uncertain as to how to handle their moody and temperamental teenager, tend to tiptoe around them for fear of upsetting them. However, by doing this they inadvertently make the teenager more powerful than they really are, and they still end up being alienated. The parent has to remain the parent to ensure any chance

let them go This can be very hard for those of us who are striving to avoid making the same mistakes that our own parents made. A sure sign that we are doing the right thing is when they are not that interested in how we are feeling. This is not to say that they don’t care – it is just that it’s not their responsibility to notice how we feel. This is particularly the case when they appear to be so happy without us. They mustn’t notice our sense of loss, as they are now getting on with their own lives. It is our responsibility to provide both the platform and the gateway. The fact that they want to take advantage of the opportunities that we have offered them must not be seen as ingratitude or harmful. If you allow them the trust and confidence to go their own way, there’s no reason why they won’t want to return.

Gary Koen is a clinical psychologist in private practice with over 20 years’ experience, working mainly with adults and adolescents. He also does presentations at schools on a range of teenage-related topics. These include all the general aspects of normal adolescent development. He created and successfully runs a course, “An introduction to adolescence”, aimed at parents. He is also working on a book that deals with the challenges facing parents and teenagers and, as a father of three, he is heavily invested in everything he says.

For more information, visit garykoen.co.za

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parenting

loosen those apron strings Will your emotional attachment to your son turn him into a mommy’s boy?

LISA LAZARUS delves into the complexities of the mother-son relationship.

says who?

Justine Evans, a Cape Town-based clinical psychologist, says that when deciding whether mother and son are overly attached, you need to ask who is saying that this relationship is a problem. “There are instances when boys are labelled mommy’s boys by people who are uncomfortable with them displaying sensitivity, neediness and cautiousness, or when somebody doesn’t like the fact that the boy is seeking out his mother for comfort and safety. This can be a prejudice rather than a true reflection of a difficulty in a boy’s relationship with his mother.”

Cathy Rundle is a manager of a small company and mother to Jade, eight and Niall, 14. Although now remarried, she was a single mother for most of her son’s early years.

“I think a mommy’s boy is a son like mine,” she says. “I run after him often; I just can’t help myself. And his stepdad, my husband, agrees that, at times, this is the case. In our household he is often referred to as the ‘little prince’.” For Cathy, her relationship with her son is not a problem. She sees a mommy’s boy as a child who is just very close to his mother. But she admits that she raises him differently from her daughter. “With her I have more boundaries and perhaps less patience. I am possibly stricter with my daughter.”

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the moment of separation What are the signs that a child is overly attached to his mother? Evans points out that an enmeshed motherchild relationship often presents with a child struggling to function adequately in the mother’s absence. “Most young children become upset at the moment of separation from their moms, but they can be distracted and quickly settled into activities and interactions with their peers and auxiliary caregivers, such as teachers and baby-sitters.”

There are instances when boys are labelled mommy’s boys by people who are uncomfortable with them displaying sensitivity, neediness and cautiousness.

However, for a child who is overly dependent on his mother, the time apart and even the prospect of being apart, can cause anxiety. These children tend to have fewer friendships and engage in more limited activities than their peers. They may also experience more symptoms of feeling physically unwell and may sleep poorly. “Importantly, these children are often exquisitely sensitive and attuned to their mother’s feelings and, therefore, partly unable to separate from her because of that concern,” says Evans.

Carron Cale teaches Grade R at Bishops, an independent single-sex school for boys, and has also taught at a number of coeducational schools. An overprotective mother can take away her son’s sense of self-belief and security, she says. In an educational setting, such a child may find it hard to work

independently, try out new skills and take risks. Like Evans, Cale also mentions the struggle these boys might have in establishing a network of friends. The “physicality” of a boisterous boys’ school environment could feel overwhelming.

Of course, it’s all a matter of developmental appropriateness. Evans explains that, at certain stages, it is normal and necessary for children, both boys and girls, to be dependent on whoever is mainly caring for them.

This is certainly true in infancy and can last until preschool, depending on the child’s temperament. Despite all we know about the dangers of gender stereotyping, the attitude that boys need to “tough it out” prevails, even when boys are still babies, or are intrinsically shy and sensitive.

Paradoxically, “these attitudes can contribute towards creating an anxious attachment between mother and son,” says Evans. A mother may withhold closeness to prevent a dependency on her and subsequent “softening” of her son, which in turn may make it more difficult for him to feel safe enough to venture away from her. Cale warns against pushing a boy too hard to struggle through tasks that leave him feeling out of his depth, without the reassurance of a loving mothering presence. This can leave him feeling “on edge and a little out of control”. He may go overboard to prove himself, by relying on excessive force to get his own way or showing off to get attention.

possible causes Evans explains that over-attachment between parent and child could indicate a difficulty in the parental relationship, where closeness with a child compensates for distance and a “cooling” with the adult partner. Alternatively, in instances of trauma or family crisis, over-attachment may be a temporary, but healthy, response to threatened security. But a very common cause of this kind of dynamic

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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ommy’s boy – the notion of the weak male, forever tied to his mother’s apron strings.

Years ago, in the old South Africa, there were cold showers, canings and conscription to “turn” such boys into men; to shift their perceived weakness into so-called strength. Yet, labels aside, can a boy’s attachment to his mother become a problem, and what brings about the psychological dynamic of the proverbial “mommy’s boy”?

comes about when the mom communicates, knowingly or not, anxiety about separation and her son’s ability to be safe without her. “For these mothers,” says Evans, “their personal wellbeing is very finely interwoven with their child’s wellbeing, and the need to be at hand to protect him from any adversity.”

In the educational setting, Cale notes that mothers who allow their sons to experience negative feelings such as failure or sadness, even among their peers, without immediately coming to their rescue, demonstrate a confidence in their child’s ability to go it alone. She notes that this is not specifically a gender issue, but

can happen with daughters as well. It has more to do with the mother’s feelings of vulnerability evoked by a young child’s helplessness and dependency on her, and how much the mother trusts herself with these feelings.

“Children need to gain confidence in both their own ability to manage increasingly without their parents’ constant presence and their parents’ ability to manage their own wellbeing.”

Letting a young one loose in the world is, without doubt, difficult. To watch your child experience adversity can be very painful, but perhaps one of the arts of parenthood is knowing when to help and when to step back.

raising boys Evans advises the following at different developmental stages: Infancy Baby boys – and girls – need to be held, hugged, touched, kissed, spoken to, rocked, comforted and gazed at by their mothers. Moms, or their equivalent, are absolutely central to a baby, as he learns about trusting himself through a trusting relationship.

Toddlers and young boys Jade Paterson, a Joburg-based counselling psychologist, says that if your little boy wants to be close to you, allow it. Conversely, when he wants to explore the world, remember that he is not rejecting you. It merely means that he has been able to get what he needs from you to be able to separate. He will, however, need to come back for “refuelling”. Allow him to move between closeness and separation without hampering his confidence, making him feel guilty or dismissing his need for closeness.

Age six to 14 Mom needs to adjust to her new status of second fiddle to dad or a close male role model.

As her son begins to explore the complex terrain of male identity, she needs to assess when to be more or less available.

Adolescence to early adulthood Dad and mom are now both relegated to second fiddle, as peers and male role models outside of the family become more popular. However, both parents need to be a united force, helping to create safe boundaries within which their adolescent son can explore the world.

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parenting tip Carron Cale advises that you spend time with your young son in the company of his friends to observe their play. “Play is highly purposeful,” she says.

“Boys reveal so much about themselves in these interactions.” You’ll be able to see how your child is feeling about himself, how he communicates with others and what interests him. If the situation demands it, you need to step in and take charge.

This will teach your son how to stick to his own moral code if he sees you voicing your concerns, whatever the circumstances.

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parenting

split the difference By teaching your children to embrace diversity and accept people’s differences, you will

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don’t remember many things about being eight years old, but one memory that sticks is that of Skeletor, a skull-faced villainous humanoid from the Masters of The Universe TV series. It was also the nickname a group of us eight-year-old girls gave to the skinniest boy at aftercare.

Every day we watched him swinging and we giggled and sniggered about how skinny he was. If someone mentioned the word Skeletor, we would glance at him and roll with laughter. He had nothing at all in common with the evil Skeletor, except our juvenile word association between skinny and skeleton. We never called him Skeletor to his face, but we made it quite clear that he was worth laughing at. I can’t even remember his real name, so he will forever be Skeletor to me. Fortunately, he seemed oblivious to our cruelty so the joke became old and we moved on. I was raised in an accepting family and I know my parents would have tanned my hide had they known I was sniggering at another child just for being different. As karma

would have it, I developed a major crush on Skeletor’s best friend, who ended up sniggering at me a few years later.

According to Simona Maraschin, a Joburg-based educational psychologist, children start noticing differences in their peers as early as three years old. “They start to notice the difference between boys and girls. When they

Log onto YouTube and you can watch acclaimed actress Julianne Moore chatting about her childhood as a redhead with freckles. By the age of seven, she had been nicknamed Freckleface Strawberry by her peers, after a popular powdered drink. She describes her humiliation and how today as an adult, given the choice, she would still do away with her now-famous freckles. Julianne went on to write a popular children’s book, titled after her humiliating nickname. She believes that children don’t want to be perceived as being different in any way and she wrote her book to encourage children to embrace their strengths and not be conscious of their differences.

Although children begin noticing differences early on, they may not view these differences negatively. They only begin to connect feelings with these differences by watching how adults react to them.

Psychologists agree that parental influence is the single key factor shaping the way children view the

We learn from experience, and children who have been singled out because of a difference may be more empathetic and accepting of others in return.

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start school, they also start to notice that children look, talk and act differently from each other. Between the ages of five and 11, family traditions, cultures and religion become entrenched and they start to question these differences,” she says. “Economic differences also become apparent as they compare their toys and possessions.”

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com / Kirsty De vere-plommer

help them reject stereotypes and discrimination as adults, says NORA REED.

world and other people within it. The behaviour and habits we model as parents are the ones our children are most likely to learn from. Our personal values are second nature, not something we are conscious of daily. We just get on with life, engaging in social situations, applying our values and habits to everyday situations, most of the time unaware that our children are watching closely and learning by example. Children mirror the values and attitudes set out for them by their role models: parents and families first, educators and peers second. TV, movies and books play a role in reinforcing the values and stereotypes that parents set up. Parents who demonstrate tolerance and acceptance of diversity will teach those values by default.

Many parents may not have had much exposure to diversity themselves and may be uncomfortable embracing people outside of their own race, religion and sexual orientation, or even those with different mental and physical capabilities.

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South Africa has a bad rap when it comes to prejudice and discrimination. Although we have turned a major corner in our history, the bigger differences in society, such as race, religion, language and social class, are still stumbling blocks for many adults when it comes to bias and stereotypes. But we are the “Rainbow Nation� and our heritage, traditions and talents are as diverse as our physical appearances and food preferences, and this diversity enriches our culture. Our children are exposed to a much greater diversity in the classroom than we experienced, making it more important than ever to teach them to accept and embrace differences.

So what does a parent do if they struggle to walk the walk and model all-embracing ethics?

talk it out By pointing out stereotypes and discussing them, we can help teach the value systems we would like our children to adopt. Nicola Grace, a Durban-based counselling

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Stereotypes are damaging because they focus on a single, usually negative, element without taking the whole three-dimensional person into account.

This provides a skewed reality… psychologist and mother of two, says, “Unfortunately some parents want to retain their social stereotypes, but if you feel you can be honest about your own biases and prejudices and your conversation is age appropriate, talk to your children about it. It is more destructive to say one thing and model another, so discussing your feelings about why you behave a certain way may be helpful, especially if you would like to change.” Show a willingness to bridge the gap and reach out to people you would not naturally accept.

acknowledge their uniqueness Acknowledge and appreciate how unique your children are without focusing too heavily on their differences. If your daughter has a really freckled face, it may not be wise to mention every day how cute her freckles are, as this will only draw

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extra attention to them. If she mentions them, let her know you love them because they make her unique and special, but if she really hates them, don’t play it down.

Rather use it as a talking point to explain that we are all different and that we need to be more accepting of each other. We learn from experience, and children who have been singled out because of a difference may be more empathetic and accepting of others in return.

accept Acceptance is very important to children.

So important that they may not accept someone else in order to be accepted themselves. Simona agrees that children who tease are often acting out of their own lack of self-esteem. “Children with a strong self-esteem are more able to make their own decisions and not worry about magazine cape town

what others will say about it. Teasers and bullies are sometimes acting out of their own fears and insecurities and often it is a call for help. However, children with low self-esteem can also end up being the ones who are teased.” Children do not always have the maturity to advocate for others when it may cost them a vote in popularity. Parents who challenge intolerance and stereotypes may have an easier job in raising children who advocate for the underdog.

take action We may even find ourselves advocating for our own children and taking measures to help them blend in with the crowd.

Janine, a Durban high school teacher and mother of two, decided to have her son’s ears pinned back when he was in Grade R. “We have big ears in our family and unfortunately Aidan inherited them. His uncle and two of his cousins had already had their ears pinned back for the same reasons so there was a bit of family pressure, but I just felt it would be best for him in the long run.

As a teacher, I have seen how cruel children can be to one another and I felt the operation could save him from years of potential heartache and teasing.

There were no medical grounds for the operation; it was purely cosmetic. The surgeon had a wall full of photographs of children who had undergone the exact same surgery for the same reasons.”

Growing up isn’t easy and differences, which seem small to parents, can be huge for children. “A blemish in the wrong place can really affect a child’s self-esteem.

Parents tend to trivialise things like pimples, clothing choices and hairstyles, but for teenagers this can be the difference between them being accepted or teased by their friends.”

reach out Some differences cannot be as easily remedied and children who suffer from physical and mental disabilities often have a difficult time feeling accepted. In my son’s Grade R year, his class went on an outing to a neighbouring school for mentally and physically challenged children. He came home quite unsettled and shared with me that he had felt very uncomfortable at the school. I had to be honest with myself and say that I would have felt the same in that situation, since my lifestyle does not require me to engage with handicapped people very often, and my children could easily mistake my self-conscious, unsure behaviour for discrimination.

I realise how important it is to make sure my children regularly mix with a wide variety of friends. As diverse as we are, we tend to socialise in groups of people who are very similar to ourselves, so encouraging playdates with children who are dissimilar to your own children is vitally important.

sidestep stereotypes Nicola says, “Stereotypes are damaging because they focus on a single, usually negative, element without taking the whole three-dimensional person into account. This provides a skewed reality, which becomes easily entrenched. To counter this, parents need to be inclusive, broad-minded and tolerant in their approaches and attitudes.”

She believes parents can easily challenge negative attitudes in their children, encouraging them to look for other qualities, by saying something like “Yes, he does have red hair, but he is also very smart and kind”.

I have heard it said that we are not raising children; we are in fact raising adults. Their future success and happiness may very well depend on their ability to easily embrace diversity in their families, communities and workplaces.

10 ways to encourage your children to embrace diversity:

1 Have a meal at an ethnic restaurant and discuss the culture and traditions from 2 3 4 5

that country.

Teach them to say a few words in a new language (or learn them together).

Spend an hour at a home for mentally or physically handicapped people.

Challenge them to spend a day saying only nice things about other people.

Set up a playdate with a new friend or invite a new family around for a social get-together.

6 Take a minute to chat to your car guard and find out their name and where they are from.

7 Visit a homeless or refugee shelter.

8 Discuss same-sex marriages and parenting (if they are old enough).

9 Tell them your Skeletor story or a memory from your childhood where

you

felt different.

10 Ask

your children to name five friends who are different from them and

encourage them to reach out and learn something new about them.

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ideas ideas

first-class gifts You don’t have to break the bank to give your child’s teacher a token of appreciation for their

y

ou would think I’d have it taped by now. I’ve had children in all sorts of schools for the past 12 years and in all this time I have still not discovered that perfect end-of-year gift for my children’s teachers. Don’t get me wrong; my intentions are always good. My timing however, is not. Needless to say, many of the gifts have been bought on the fly, en route to fetch the children on their last day at school, at shops that I know will always gift wrap and charge like wounded bulls. Inevitably I forget to buy for at least one teacher and just spend way too much money – not that the teachers aren’t worth it, but, you know, we’re all on a budget. This year I am going to plan ahead and get it right.

step 1: write a list This is where I always come short. It’s pointless standing in a shop and trying to count on your fingers just who

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needs to be bought a present. How many subjects does Alex have again – maths, social science, natural science, English, Afrikaans, Xhosa, art… ? And who teaches what?

Is the music teacher a man or a woman? Before you know it you’ll be using your fingers on both hands. I can’t remember exactly what teacher matches what subject so I figure I will just pull out the boys’ latest report cards and work it out that way.

card instead, to check out the percentages, and decide that if my child gets 80 percent for English, then I will spend R80 on the English teacher. It looks like the natural science teacher is going to luck out big time. He’s getting a gift for less than 50 bucks. No, that’s not fair, I think. It’s not his fault Alex keeps forgetting to study for his tests. So I work out what I am prepared to spend in total and divide it out from there. And it seems as if all teachers are getting gifts for under 50 bucks this year.

step 2: work out a budget Now that you have at least half a dozen teachers to buy for, and let’s not forget the headmaster, the ladies in the office and the piano teacher, you realise this list has just doubled and the budget has not. Are all teachers treated equal?

My children certainly have their favourites so I consider consulting them. Then I think about consulting the report

step 3: go beyond soap on a rope, scented candles and chocolate My mother was an English teacher at a girls’ school. As a child, I loved it when she came home on the last day of term. She had a basket loaded with gifts and my sister and I would spend the afternoon unwrapping soap, soap

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PHOTOGRAPH: Christie Lee Mann

hard work. Just plan ahead and give from the heart, says CHRISTINA CASTLE.

step 5: write a card

and... more soap. Scented candles were not big back then, but today I hear they have taken on soap status as the preferred gift to give teachers and anyone else you are unsure of what to get. Then there was the chocolate which never lasted long in our house, but was much appreciated.

Today, a luxurious Swiss chocolate brand is making a killing out of the parents and is possibly the reason why the admin staff appear a little larger each year.

step 4: make it home-made and from the heart This year, fresh is my theme for end-of-year gifts. I certainly don’t have green fingers, nor am I a notable cook, but, to get around the R50 limit issue, I’m going to get smart and make it myself. Actually, I’m not. The boys are. These are their teachers and they need to step up to the task. On the list of things to make is red onion

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marmalade, butter biscuits and salted almonds. Package them simply in a few glass jars – you’ll be super stylish and saving the planet at the same time, all for less than R50 a teacher. I am also planning to pull a few herbs from the garden, repot them and serve them with a pair of herb scissors. It’s a different form of “regifting”. It’s novel and nice, and darn useful if you ask me. I am having a Martha Stewart moment here.

No amount of red onion marmalade, butter biscuits and salted almonds quite measure up to the simple words, “thank you”. Take time out to write a meaningful message to each of the teachers. I remember the letters my mother received from appreciative parents and students at the end of each year. Some were pages long, others just a few lines, but they would bring tears to her eys. She is retired now, but they still live in a box on top of her cupboard.

Whether I actually pull this off is another thing. Trying to find that spare afternoon to bake, stir, package and pot in the hectic final weeks before school closes on yet another busy year, is virtually impossible. But I will set aside a few quiet moments to write each teacher a message. With report cards in hand, I won’t leave anyone out – I hope.

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education

c

November 2012

learn

Technology is transforming our classrooms into interactive, multisensory learning environments. By ANÉL LEWIS and MARC DE CHAZAL

lassrooms have changed significantly since I was at school in the eighties. Gone is the earsplitting squeak of chalk on blackboard. Instead, a teacher projects an enlarged image of her computer tablet screen, as pupils swipe, type and interact with their own handheld computer devices. Technology is changing the way our classrooms operate, the way our teachers impart knowledge and the way in which our children understand and process information. But, in a country where thousands

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type of pupils don’t even have access to basic textbooks, is it realistic to envision a future where computer technology will revolutionise education?

the way of the future Arthur Goldstuck, managing director of World Wide Worx, an independent South African technology market research organisation, is confident that by 2015 the various tablets and programmes in place now will no longer be

experimental, but be part of the way education is carried out. “Case studies, success stories and cautionary tales will combine into a proven set of guidelines and ideal practices and approaches that school and educational authorities can adopt,” he says. But he is quick to point out that the tablet market is only 30 months old. “It is impossible, based on an evolution that began only twoand-a-half years ago, to predict how it will pan out 10 years from now, but there is no question that digital textbooks

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com / Parklands College

swipe

will become the norm, and that educational applications (apps) will be integrated with teaching to enhance the experience of both teachers and students. The platform on which this happens, however, may not be a computer, tablet or phone as we know them today. A new technology platform may well have emerged by then, but it is equally possible that all teaching will be conducted on tablets.”

Vodacom Information Communication Technologies (ICT) resource centres being set up in all nine provinces, will go a long way to bringing computer skills into classrooms. He adds, “It is important to note that the role of ICTs in schools cannot be driven by a specific technology, but rather by the support technology will provide for learning and teaching.”

doing it for themselves to support, not replace, teaching Arthur Preston, headmaster of Elkanah House Senior Primary in Cape Town, cautions that some schools may rush to embrace the computer tablet without thoroughly examining how it will improve teaching in their classroom.

“A bad teacher remains a bad teacher when a (computer tablet) is put into their hands. Technology is not the key for a bad teacher – accountability and ongoing training is the first step.” While some have said that tablets will revolutionise education in SA, he believes the education system is in need of much more basic intervention than adding iPads to the mix. Technology is not a panacea for poor teaching.

But, despite its bad rap recently, with the Limpopo textbook saga and reports of poorly-skilled teachers, the Department of Education has made a commitment in its White Paper on e-Education to provide technology for learning and teaching. However, the department’s spokesperson, Panyeza Lesufi, says that given the “magnitude of the task”, to ensure that all schools have access to technology, government needs the help of the private sector and other resources. Initiatives, such as the

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Parklands College in Cape Town is blazing the trail when it comes to the use of tablets in the classroom. The school launched its Apple One2One project in 2010 and all pupils,

We need to keep our children interested in learning and engage them on a digital level. from Grade R to Grade 12, have access to an iPad or MacBook during the day. The pre-primary classes have two iPads in each classroom, while the Grade 1 to 4 pupils each have access to a device for their lessons, and the older pupils use MacBooks. At least 80 percent of all pupils own their devices. Richard Knaggs, the school’s director of technology, says, “We are competing with Xboxes, PlayStations, powerful home computers and smartphones.

We need to keep our children interested in learning and engage them on a digital level.” The school provides a WiFi network, access to the internet and storage facilities for the

devices. Teachers are trained to use the computer tablets, and appropriate applications. They can create their own content, or use free or bought applications. Information, such as homework, memory sentences and images for projects, is sent via email to pupils. They engage by creating projects or solving problems using multiple sources of information. They also use digital textbooks, including the Department of Education’s CAPS-aligned e-books for maths, science, history and life sciences. Their goal is for teachers to develop customised content for their lessons.

Next year, the school will replace its paper dictionaries and atlases with digital versions.

Kragveld Primary near Middelburg in Mpumalanga, prides itself on being the only school in the country to use computer tablets as a teaching tool in all the classrooms, for the entire school day. The teachers bought their own iPads, which they use to project content onto large boards for the whole class to see. Doxa Deo East College in Pretoria introduced an Android-enabled tablet into the Grade 10 classroom in January this year, as part of their blended learning policy. There are plans to roll it out to other grades. One of the parents involved in the project says there has already been a marked improvement. “My son’s reading Shakespeare for the first time, and he’s developing skills that will be useful at university.”

benefits for pupils Wendy Hindle has almost 20 years’ teaching experience. Now a Grade 4 teacher and ICT integrator at Parklands College, she says, “My classroom has been transformed. A good

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education

teacher teaches to children’s strengths, which the iPad allows.” Interestingly, she adds that it is often the academically weak pupils who are technologically above average. Tablets allow pupils to process information comfortably and to learn by doing. She says her class is attentive and on task for the entire lesson.

Knaggs says technology enables pupils to work at their own pace, which allows the weaker pupils to consolidate the fundamentals, while the faster pupils move onto new tasks, thus promoting a stimulating learning environment. The work being done is more original and indicative of a pupil’s particular learning style.

Assignments can incorporate sound, video and images; not just written text. Hindle says the use of educational apps leads

strengths of pupils. After all, not everyone is good behind a camera; not everyone is good in front of a camera; not everyone is artistic, and not everyone is a good writer.

But put a group of people together and play to their strengths, and we get a result which is greater than the sum of the parts.”

teachers give it full marks too Bianca Edworthy, a Grade 3 teacher at Parklands College, says the use of educational applications has made an enormous difference in her classroom and to other teachers. “We look at the curriculum in a new light.” Knaggs says teachers have rediscovered an excitement for their subjects and the way in which they teach. They can use tablet applications to transfer classwork, tests and homework to

It is no longer a matter of whether to use technology, but how well you can integrate mobile technology into your educational institute. to incidental learning, where pupils pick up additional skills while doing a particular assignment. Pupils complete tasks digitally, sometimes without even being asked. They create study notes on their devices and many use them to make documentaries or videos of their holidays. They can revise their work at home, independently or with their parents’ help.

Alan Goldberg, education director of Digicape, which has helped train teachers to use the devices effectively, says, “With the advent of the iPad, we are entering an age where learners can work collaboratively, some writing the text, some generating the images or video and creating collaborative documents which, as well as mirroring real life practice where roles and job descriptions are well defined, also plays to the individual

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their pupil’s devices. Edworthy adds that technology has changed the class dynamic.

Instead of the teacher being the sole source of knowledge, pupils and teachers get to learn from each other. Teachers undergo extensive and continuous training, and there are regular meetings to discuss and decide on new applications and approaches.

Michelle Lissoos, managing director of Think Ahead Education Solutions, the education arm of the Core Group that distributes Apple products to schools, says a key benefit is that teachers can create content themselves and communicate tasks to pupils in a visual way. Goldberg says media-rich digital textbooks allow pupils to make notes in the margins, cross-reference the information online and interact with the content. magazine cape town

more screen time While parents are generally open to the educational benefits of tablet devices, there is concern that children will remain glued to yet another electronic screen for hours on end. Melanie Hartgill, a Durbanbased educational psychologist, says technology is moving at such a rapid pace, that it is becoming increasingly difficult to avoid its effects. The general rule, and one advocated by the American Academy of Pediatrics, is no screens – and this includes computers and smartphones – before the age of two and limited time thereafter.

Hartgill says research further suggests that children should not have access to electronic devices until, at the very earliest, the age of five, as these are the crucial years for development. Exposure to media may discourage imaginative play and family interaction, which are crucial for your child’s development. However, if your children are looking at screens, Hartgill says optometrists recommend the 20/20/20 rule. For every 20 minutes of screen time, your child should look away for 20 seconds, at a point in the distance about 20 feet or six metres away.

Hindle says pupils are seldom allowed to play on their devices during the day. The tablet is for classwork and research. It also has not replaced the pencil, as they still do tasks in their books. “In fact, we have noticed an improvement in (the work) in pupils’ books.” Parklands College has strict controls for the sites and content that can be accessed, as do other schools.

no one-size-fits-all There are, of course, various devices from which to choose, and a multitude

of educational applications depending on what platform they use. Think Ahead has published two Education App Guides for primary and high schools, listing a selection of Apple applications that will support classroom study. Many schools are already using Department of Education-approved CAPS e-books for maths, science, history and life sciences.

There are various computer tablet devices, operating systems and apps available to schools. Maramedia Publishing produces CAPS-compliant school manuals, which can be downloaded on Android and Appleenabled tablets. Classpad, a tablet for interactive learning, offers 7 000 education applications, from preschool to Grade 12. MobiPads have interactive apps for spelling, reading and maths and you can download CAPS-aligned textbooks.

LeapFrog’s LeapPad learning tablets come with a host of educational apps.

and the classroom of 2022?

Knaggs says it’s difficult to project where technology will be in three years’ time, let alone a decade, but he says education will be enabled with the use of mobile devices and their respective applications will give pupils a personalised and dynamic learning programme. “They will have access to the best resources, best teachers and peers – virtual or real – for any given subject at any time, and from any place.”

Lissoos says there are publishers and app developers who are producing more educational content for the South African market. “It is no longer a matter of whether to use technology, but how well you can integrate mobile technology into your educational institute.”

recommended educational apps android-enabled apps

for younger children

• Visit my.kindertown.com

• Match it up 1, 2 and 3 • Families 1 and 2

apple-enabled apps

• Build-it-up

• Book Creator – create books with

• DotToDot numbers and letters

sound, images and video; useful for

• Learn Shapes

languages and literacy.

• Bonsai

• Popplet – mind mapping, which includes

text

and

images

and

Geronimo

by

Jean

Weinstein (Domino Digital Design

for

Company) with a downloadable app

summarising and making study

that helps with numeracy and literacy

notes. Can also be used for planning and story writing.

grades 1 to 4

• iMovie – allows for digital expression through

text,

images,

videos

and audio.

• Notability

• Drawing Pad • PopMath 4 • TeachMe

–

mini

interactive

• The Monster at the End of this Book

whiteboard, which allows pupils to record themselves performing tasks.

• Puppet Pals – to create digital

grades 4 to 7 • Keynote

puppet shows for creative writing

• Explain Everything

and vocabulary.

• Barefoot World Atlas

• iBooks – provides pupils with their own personal digital bookcase.

magazine cape town

• Bobo Explores Light Source: Parklands College, Core Group

November 2012

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take a “sho’t left” You don’t need to drive for hours to find outdoor fun and adventure for your toddler or teenager. LUCILLE KEMP rounds up some activities that are just around the corner. .

De Waal Park This community park situated in the heart of Gardens is bubbling over with activity by dogs, families and runners.

Whip around the park’s path with your toddler on a push bike, make a pit stop at the play park before settling down to a picnic while they play and you relax on the grass. Throughout summer, the Friends of De Waal Park hosts concerts on Sunday afternoons.

Contact Jennifer: 082 260 0185, j.neish@ mweb.co.za or visit dewaalpark.co.za

Intaka Island Intaka Island is a 16-hectare nature conservation area and bird sanctuary located in the heart of Century City. The island offers 2km of guided or self-guided trails allowing your family to explore the thriving wetland ecosystem, with its educational garden and sustainable living displays. Intaka also offers a 35-minute boat ride on the scenic canals of Century City. Families can bring picnics to enjoy in their newly constructed lapa or at any of the lookout points along the island. The Island is wheelchair and pram friendly.

Contact: 021 552 6889 or follow them on Facebook and Twitter.

Die Oog Bird Sanctuary Explore this small park with its lake, play and picnic area and several species of water bird, which children can feed. Visit the website to learn about some of the birds and other creatures to be spotted here. There are “treasure” maps and “spot the birds” sheets available for the children; ask Pauline via mppearce@lantic.net to send them to you. Turn off Ladies Mile into Homestead Road, take a left into Timber Way, then right and left into Lakeview, and it’s at the Midwood T-junction. Please note there are no toilet facilities.

Contact: 021 715 8666, admin@dieoog. org.za or visit dieoog.org.za

Die Oog Bird Sanctuary

Green Point Urban Park The park, a huge green expanse located near the stadium, offers plenty of outdoor space to keep all members of the family entertained, spelling lots of time to spend exploring with your toddler. There is a fitness park for cycling, an outdoor gym, a learning park, a children’s play park, an art park, an adventure and a heritage park as well as a tea garden, a biodiversity nursery, occasional fresh produce markets and a pond where you and your child can feed the ducks. Dogs are welcome but must be leashed.

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children older than 8 years are allowed on the playing equipment. The park has a small bike riding circuit, a jungle gym and grass to play on. What’s more, it is situated around the corner from the public pool on Beach Road. The park is also complemented by the Maze and the Mini Blue Train.

For more info: visit http://seapointrotary.org.za

Rondebosch Common This is a gem within the southern suburbs that is open for walks, family picnics, dog walking and more. There are a number of trails throughout the common as well as a marvellous grass area for playing.

The active and passionate Friends of Rondebosch Common frequently organise events.

Contact: rondebosch-common@mweb. co.za or friendsofrondeboschcommon@ gmail.com

Saxenburg Wine Estate

Intaka Island

Kenilworth Racecourse Conservation Area This area is a 52-hectare private nature reserve that is located within the centre of Kenilworth Racecourse. While not open to the public at all times, the friends of KRCA frequently organise activities and events that are open to the public, such as spring walks, night walks and a variety of exciting children’s activities, which are interactive, hands-on experiences with nature. The conservation area is a delight to children with its mammals, plants, birds, reptiles and amphibians, notably the rare Micro frog.

Contact: 021 700 1843, conservation@ goldcircle.co.za, visit the Kenilworth Racecourse Conservation Area Facebook page for upcoming events or visit krca.co.za

Pavilion Rotary Park If you didn’t know it yet, Sea Point’s Pavilion Rotary Park is described by many as a toddler’s haven as it is designed for children up to the age of six years old and gives them a safe environment to play without interference from older children – no

This wine farm in Brackenfell really has something for everyone – apart from the obvious, excellent wine for you to taste and enjoy, there is a mini game park on the premises, miniature pony rides, big gardens for play, outdoor chess and a family-friendly menu.

Contact: 021 903 6113, info@saxenburg. co.za or visit saxenburg.co.za

Saxenburg Wine Estate

Steam train trip Your toddler will love the novelty and excitement of a steam train trip. Atlantic Rail runs day trips on most Sundays on a train that has wooden-bodied vintage coaches dating back as far as 1922. The train also has a lounge car with a full cash-bar service. They run regular day trips around the peninsula – perfect for the summer.

This scenic coastal route winds along False Bay and finds you surrounded by the sight of seaside villages on steep slopes as well as coves and beaches. Highlights along the way include Newlands for the rugby and cricket grounds and Muizenburg for the colourful beach huts. As you snake further along the False Bay coast, the ocean view is spectacular, and you pass Kalk Bay and then the family-friendly Fish Hoek.

Perhaps check with Atlantic Rail if you can

Kirstenbosch walking trails Before you head out to the renowned botanical garden, clue yourself in on all the hidden gems tucked away by visiting the website and downloading the garden map featuring the different trails available. Strap your toddler into a carrier on your back and explore. You have The Enchanted Forest to discover, the Cycad Amphitheatre, The Dragonfly Waterfall, Galadriel’s Pool, natural springs, reservoirs, The Fragrance Garden, the garden of useful plants, the Braille Trail and along the way on the cobbled paths you may even spot interesting creatures such as guinea fowl.

For more info: visit sanbi.org

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM/Jacques Marais

toddlers

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magazine cape town

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hop off there to enjoy the town’s childfriendly beach, but if not you’ll head through Glencairn and finally onto Simon’s Town, which offers a view of the naval dockyard.

There you are free to go to the beach, have lunch and stroll around town. The train returns along the same route to Cape Town.

Children under three years old ride free.

Contact: 021 556 1012, info@atlanticrail. co.za or visit atlanticrail.co.za

teenagers BMXing and skateboarding The UMC Skate & BMX Park has a few half-pipes, quarter-pipes and street skating obstacles for children and teenagers to use under supervision. The park is situated on the corner of Ou Kaapse Weg and Noordhoek Main Road just outside the Sun Valley Pick n Pay centre.

Contact: 021 785 4602, kane@ urbanmachineco.com, join the Facebook fan page UMC Skatepark for updates on events or visit urbanmachineco.com

Downwind bicycle tour On a half-day or guided tour, your child cycles along the coast at low tide from Milnerton Lagoon Beach to Sunset Beach.

The Cape Doctor may even help them to their destination. Along the way, they’ll learn about shipwrecks, lighthouses, the wooden bridge, the battle of Blaauwberg, whales and fossilised shark teeth. Your child will be entertained on the beach with blind soccer and sack races, while the brave few may want to take a refreshing dip into the Atlantic Ocean. You can return safely by bus.

For bookings, contact Matt: 082 482 4006, mattweisse@mweb.co.za or visit goodhopeadventures.com

Downwind bicycle tour BMXing and skateboarding

Bush trail horse riding The one-hour bush trail, suitable for children from eight years old, is fun and educational and takes your child through the wetlands of Noordhoek, allowing you to spot beautiful scenery and small mammals, with Chapman’s Peak in the distance. Your child can walk or trot the trail, accompanied by knowledgeable and experienced guides.

Children need to steer the horse themselves but if they don’t have the confidence, the guide can put their horse on a lead reign to make the adventure just a little bit safer. If needed, Sleepy Hollow supplies riding hats and shoes.

Contact: 021 789 2341, 083 262 0104, sleepy@intekom.co.za or visit sleepyhollowhorseriding.co.za

Bush trail horse riding

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Sea kayaking Paddle the warm waters of False Bay for an adventure that takes you to the penguins at Boulders Beach. No experience is necessary. Children from 10 years old are good to go and trips are led and supported by knowledgeable and experienced guides. The two-hour kayak trip leaves Simon’s Town Waterfront and paddles past the Naval Harbour. If the time and tide are right, you can stop at a beach for a swim. Along with the penguins, your child can expect to see seals, sea birds and maybe even whales.

Contact: 082 501 8930, tours@ kayakcapetown.co.za or visit kayakcapetown.co.za

Sunset cruise Nothing will make an image-conscious teen feel fancier than going “sailing” – well, that’s how you can sell it to them anyway.

Waterfront Boat Company’s sunset cruise runs for an hour and a half and shows off sunset, sea, Table Mountain and city views in spectacular fashion. The sail boats follow the wind for the cruise and typically head out of the harbour, sail across Table Bay towards Milnerton Lighthouse, then return to the protection of Granger Bay in the lee of Table Mountain to watch the sun set, before heading back to the Waterfront. The motor vessels normally cruise slowly along the Atlantic seaboard towards Clifton Beach and back.

Contact: 021 418 5806 or visit waterfrontboats.co.za magazine cape town

Water and underground tunnel touring

Sea kayaking

Table Mountain abseil With a 112m descent down Table Mountain and the deep blue Atlantic at their feet, this would seem like an experience reserved only for the most fearless teen.

However, Abseil Africa says the experience is extremely popular, totally doable and evokes the same spectrum of emotions in most – from nervousness when getting ready to start the descent, to the mindblowing exhilaration of standing on the edge of a mountain and having to lean back and trust the ropes, to the eventual feeling of complete awe when done.

Contact: 021 424 4760, info@abseilafrica. co.za or visit abseilafrica.co.za

Starting in the forest your teen clambers and climbs over little rivers and dams on the side of the mountain. While walking underground you can enjoy the dramatic jet-like sound of cars flying over manhole covers. The tunnel is extremely clean and well ventilated. Natural lighting adds to the ambience of the walk. Each child gets gumboots and a flashlight. This is an interesting and exciting walking adventure and children are encouraged to ask questions such as, “Where does Cape Town’s name come from?” and “Why did the San and Dutch choose to settle here?”

Contact: 021 439 3329, info@fo8.co.za or visit their Facebook page: Below The Surface

Trail running Trail running is a great way to get boisterous children to work off all their energy. One outdoorsman shares how Newlands Forest holds much to discover in the way of ruins, waterfalls, trees, rickety bridges and spectacular views. He describes the straight-forward layout of the forest, “if you want to go further you run up, if you feel like you’ve had enough you run down and somehow you always end up in the parking lot.” Newlands Forest has trails for all fitness levels, from steep single tracks to wide and gentle jeep tracks through tall trees.

For more info: visit sanparks.org

Table Mountain abseil

Land sailing Spend an hour or two with the children Blokart land sailing along Sunrise Beach in Muizenberg. Blokarting is a sailing, kiting and karting phenomenon, using a buggy that is easy to steer. Your child is strapped into this funky three-wheel buggy, which is propelled forward by the wind. With their legs stretched out in front of them, your child takes hold of the steering bar and sheet rope and sets off, controlling their speed by tightening or loosening the rope and steering into the wind for less resistance.

Contact Mark: 083 658 8583 or markt@blokart.co.za

magazine cape town

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books

a good read for toddlers The Yoga Ogre

By Peter Bently and Simon Rickerty

Florentine and Pig have a Very Lovely Picnic

By Eva Katzler and Jess Mikhail

(Published by Simon and Schuster Children’s Books, R143) Ogden the Ogre was worried one night. His jim-jams had grown far too short and too tight. The people suggested that an overweight ogre should take up a sport. But, as everyone will soon find out, finding the perfect sport for a big, bumbling ogre isn’t as easy as it seems. This is a really funny picture book from the winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize in 2011. Told in clever rhyme, we join Ogden as he first tries basketball, with disastrous consequences; then causes havoc while playing soccer. When he tries his hand at hockey, the people take shelter and as a jockey, the horses run away. Golf doesn’t work out, as there is now a huge hole where the course used to be. How can Ogden get active?

Funny Faces on the Farm – Pop-up Masks!

By Jannie Ho

Zoe and Beans – Pants on the Moon!

By Chloë and Mick Inkpen (Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R117) Zoe is hanging her pants out to dry one day, when, “whoosh!”, a big gust of wind blows her and Beans up, up, up into space – along with the washing line full of pants. When they finally land on the moon, there’s a lot of exciting exploring to do. But how on earth are they going to get home again? In this fourth title in the popular picture book series for children from the age of three, the ingenious Zoe comes up with a brilliant plan. Parents will also love the story, because they know that there is an American flag on the moon, and why that is important.

everpopular zoe and beans

for preschoolers

ing someth really special

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for early graders Bink & Gollie – Two for One

By Kate DiCamillo, Alison McGhee and Tony Fucile

My First Car was Red

By Peter Schössow (Published by Gecko Press, R114) Your first car is always the best.

And your first trip is unforgettable – even when it doesn’t go exactly to plan. This is an exciting and hilarious picture book about brothers and cars and one crazy car ride. The illustrations are vivid and detailed and there are quirky road signs throughout to emphasise the brothers’ adventurous ride. The storyline is funny and entertaining: “Grandpa brought me a surprise.

‘For you,’ he said. It was rusty.

Really rusty. But you could tell what it was – a little car! Exactly my size.

‘Diesel or gas?’ I asked. ‘Sweat,’ he said.” Young boys especially will absolutely love this treasure.

(Published by Campbell Books, R94) Cluck like a chicken, squeak like a mouse and let your imagination run wild with this fantastic new play mask book. Each book in the series has die-cut eye holes, easyto-grip handles and, best of all, a fantastic pop-up feature on each spread that really brings the characters to life. Simple, sturdy and very funny, these books are guaranteed to bring a smile to everyone’s face. Other books in the series include Funny Faces in the Jungle, Funny Faces Monsters and Funny Faces Dressing Up.

(Published by Bloomsbury Publishing, R103) Join Florentine and Pig on their adventures as they discover the glorious world of friendship, food and a frolic. Florentine and Pig are going to celebrate a lovely sunny day by having a picnic. She puts on her thinking cap and comes up with a delicious menu, including treats such as apple and carrot muffins, only to realise that Pig ate the last of the apples. Pig knows what he has to do when he spots three perfect apples at the top of the tree in the garden.

Pig is intrepid and Pig is brave, but how good a climber is he? A disaster is averted, and Florentine and Pig get to work making a very lovely picnic indeed. Families can join in the cooking fun by following the recipes at the back of the book.

Lazy Lion

By Mwenye Hadithi and Adrienne Kennaway (Published by Hodder Children’s Books, R85) Lazy Lion orders the animals to build him a house on the African plain. The Weaver Birds build him a house of nest grasses and palm leaves, but Lazy Lion is too heavy to reach the door. The Ant Bears build him a house with many rooms and caverns, but it is so dark Lion can’t see anything. The White Ants build him a palace of towers and turrets, but Lazy Lion is too big to get in and refuses to live underground.

The animals do their best to make Lion happy, but he is very difficult to please. Will he ever find a home?

This is the story of how Lazy Lion found his home on the great African plain.

(Published by Candlewick Press, R158) Your favourite marvellous companions are back. Meet them at the fair in this delightfully droll sequel to the Theodor Seuss Geisel Award-winning Bink & Gollie. The state fair is in town, and now Bink and Gollie, utter opposites and best friends, must use teamwork and their grey matter to navigate its many wonders. Will the energetic Bink win the world’s largest doughnut in the Whack-a-Duck game?

Will the artistic Gollie wow the crowd in the talent show?

As the undaunted duo steps into the mysterious tent of fortune-teller Madame Prunely, one prediction is crystal clear: this unlikely pair will always be the closest of pals.

Guinea Pigs Online

By Jennifer Gray and Amanda Swift (Published by Quercus, R58) Fuzzy and Coco are guinea pigs who live with their kindly owners, Ben and Henrietta Bliss. Coco likes to spend her days pampering herself and listening to harp concertos.

Fuzzy is much more down to earth. He is a passionate cook who wants nothing more than to learn to make delicious meals for Ben and Henrietta. So when Fuzzy spots an advertisement run by glamorous local chef Scarlet Cleaver stating “Guinea Pigs Wanted”, he is over the moon. Coco warns him that all is not what he thinks, but he won’t listen. Fuzzy sneaks off to find the restaurant.

Now Coco must set off on a rescue mission to prevent Fuzzy from ending up as main course on The Meat Cleaver’s menu. magazine cape town

for preteens and teens The Poodle Problem

By Anna Wilson

Down the Rabbit Hole

By Peter Abrahams (Published by Walker Books, R99) This is the first in a compelling detective series from Stephen King’s “favourite American suspense novelist”. When Ingrid accidentally leaves her football sneakers at a murder scene, she is sucked into a mysterious case. It’s all her fault that the police are on the wrong track, so Ingrid swears to hunt down Cracked-Up Katie’s killer herself.

But Ingrid’s life is full of distractions: Joey, the son of the local police chief; portraying Alice in the Prescott Players’ new production; not failing maths... When the clues lead her to the new member of the theatre group, Vincent, she doesn’t realise the danger until it’s too late, and suddenly she’s battling for her life, about to be pushed over the edge of Echo Falls.

for mystery lovers

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R83) Nine-year-old Pippa Peppercorn loves helping out at the only beauty salon in the quiet town of Crumbly-Under-Edge. A cosy joint run by the cuddly Mrs Semolina Ribena Fudge, customers and their pets stop by as much for the tea and sympathy as for a trim. But when rival beautician Trinity Meddler comes to town and sets up shop, Mrs Fudge is in danger of losing her customers. What’s more, Trinity has a sinister plan up her sleeve, involving oodles of poodles. Luckily Dash, the talking dachshund, with a nose for sniffing out a good mystery, is on hand to save the day, with Pippa as his number one assistant.

(Published by Quercus, R86) This is the third novel in the bestselling The Tomorrow series. Ellie and her friends have achieved a lot as unarmed amateur teenage fighters. But, the war rages on, their families are in captivity and their country is on its knees. Hiding back in Hell, the friends face a big question: what to do next? The gang has another success when they manage to rescue Kevin. He returns to them equipped with new knowledge of explosives, and they know what to do – launch an attack on the enemy target of Cobbler’s Bay. The Third Day, The Frost draws the reader into the struggle of these ordinary teenagers attempting to survive in extraordinary times.

Bliss

By Kathryn Littlewood (Published by HarperCollins Children’s Books, R86) Rosemary Bliss’s family has a secret: it’s the Bliss Cookery Booke, an ancient, leatherbound volume of enchanted recipes such as Stone Sleep Snickerdoodles and Singing Gingersnaps. Rose and her siblings are supposed to keep the cookery book under lock and whisk-shaped key while their parents are out of town, but then a mysterious stranger shows up. “Aunt” Lily rides a motorcycle, wears purple sequins, and whips up exotic, but delicious dishes for dinner. Soon boring, non-magical recipes feel like life before Aunt Lily – a lot less fun. So Rose and her siblings experiment with just a couple of recipes from the forbidden Bliss Cookery Booke. A few Love Muffins and a few dozen Cookies of Truth couldn’t cause too much trouble, could they?

for us The J.M. Barrie Ladies’ Swimming Society

By Barbara J. Zitwer (Published by Short Books, R101) Joey Rubin is a dyed-in-the-wool New Yorker. When her architectural firm sends her to the English countryside to oversee the renovation of an ancient stately home, it’s a dream come true. Stanway House is where J.M. Barrie wrote Peter Pan, Joey’s favourite book. Faced with strong opposition from the local residents to her plans for the building, Joey feels that she can do nothing right, until she comes upon a hidden lake. There, shrieking with laughter in the icy water, she finds the feisty members of the “J.M. Barrie Ladies’ Swimming Society”. Octogenarians one and all, they dare Joey to come for a swim in their outdoor Neverland. For Joey, meeting Aggie, Gala, Lilia and the rest is a life-changing experience.

magazine cape town

The Third Day, the Frost

By John Marsden

parenting books Great Kids

By Carol Surya

Timeless Family Food Journal

By Christine Phillips (Published by Christine Phillips, R350 + R50 delivery) Christine Phillips, founder of the Little Cooks Club, is a qualified chef and a member of the South African Chefs Association. She created this book because she is passionate about healthy eating habits, traditions and spending quality time with her family. This interactive journal is filled with delicious recipes, nutritional information, clever tips and tricks, as well as ideas on how to enjoy quality time together. It gives you the opportunity to record your special family traditions and precious memories in one place, ensuring that they get passed on and remembered. Make this journal unique to your family; there is space to write down your own recipes, stick photographs, and document secret ingredients for recipes that you want to pass on. To order, visit tffj.co.za

(Published by Surya Creations Publishing, R175,44 excluding VAT and postage) This book is about recognising, acknowledging and learning to boost your child’s natural potential. Peppered with practical examples, parents learn simple, highly effective tools for respectful disciplining, establishing security and building your child’s selfesteem. The ability to help children redirect their excess energy, and express and manage their emotions appropriately changes everything. This book offers new and practical ways of approaching and appreciating children. It begins with an understanding of their world and explores the issue of respect and the importance of choice, responsibility and democratic discipline. The author is a psychologist who has extensive experience helping troubled children and empowering parents. Order the book from greatkids-book.com

The Expectant Father

By Armin A. Brott and Jennifer Ash (Published by Abbeville Press, R168) The third edition of this bestselling, ground-breaking, informationpacked guide for dads-to-be is now updated, revised and expanded.

This book explores the emotional, financial, and physical changes the father-to-be may experience during his partner’s pregnancy.

Written in an easy-to-absorb format and filled with sound advice and practical tips for men on such topics as how to make sense of your conflicting emotions, how pregnancy affects your sex life, and how to start a college fund, this volume reassures, commiserates, informs and entertains. It also incorporates the wisdom of top experts in the field, from obstetricians and birth-class instructors to psychologists and sociologists. This new edition features the latest research on many topics from preconception issues, overcoming infertility and information addressing assisted reproductive technologies to prenatal communication and education.

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43

calendar

what’s on in november

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by LUCILLE KEMP

3 sat

special events

46

FUN for children

48

only for parents

52

bump, baby & tot in tow

53

how to help

54

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Rococoa chocolate experience Take a walk through a chocolate plantation and go for chocolate face painting.

Seeking Motherhood Workshop for women with fertility issues This two-day workshop supports women facing fertility difficulties.

Grow Your Baby’s Brain parenting workshop Dr Nils Bergman talks about the neuroscience of how the baby’s brain grows during pregnancy.

Nappy Run awareness campaign and nappy drive They are appealing for donations of nappies; from infant to larger teen and adult sizes.

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November 2012

magazine cape town

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

La Gratitude Duck Race and Craft Market Christmas shop at the stalls, buy refreshments and enjoy a dog show and model helicopter demo before watching the plastic ducks take to the water.

magazine cape town

November 2012

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calendar

SPECIAL EVENTS 2 friday MamaMagic, The Baby Expo Cape Town Learn about the latest in products and services for pregnancy and parenting and enjoy entertainment featuring CBeebies’ super scientist Nina from Nina and the Neurons and Barney. The shows are at no extra cost, but it is essential to book seats when buying entrance tickets, either at Computicket or at the door. Entrance to the show opens approximately 30 minutes before it starts. The full stage performance with Nina and Barney lasts 45 minutes.

Ends 4 November. Time: 9am–6pm daily.

Venue: CTICC. Cost: adults R65, children under 10 free, pensioners R50. For more info: visit mamamagic.co.za

Cape Town International Kite Festival Africa’s biggest kite festival fills the sky above Muizenberg with incredible kite creations. “All about Ability” is the theme for this notto-be missed family event. Also 4 November. Time: 10am–6pm daily.

Venue: Zandvlei, Muizenberg. Cost: adults R20, children R10. Contact: 021 447 9040, info@cmhs.co.za or visit capementalhealth.co.za or, for regular news and updates, “like” the Cape Town International Kite Festival Facebook page.

3 saturday Elgin Open Gardens Private gardens of participating farms open to the public for the spring bloom. Enjoy a day in the country savouring good food. Also 4, 10 and 11 November. Time: 10am–5pm.

Venue: Wildekrans Country House, Houw Hoek Village, near Elgin. Cost: free entry; donations to local charities are welcome.

Contact: 028 284 9827, info@wildekrans. co.za or visit wildekrans.co.za La Gratitude Duck Race and Craft Market Christmas shop at the stalls, buy refreshments and enjoy the dog show,

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November 2012

3 sat

3 November – Elgin Open Gardens

model helicopter demo, magician, pony rides, jumping castle and face painting before watching the plastic ducks take to the water. Proceeds go to the La Gratitude Preprimary School, with a percentage going to a local charity. Time: 10am–1:30pm for crafts, food, tea garden and child-friendly activities; 1:30pm–3pm for The Amazing Duck Race, followed by prize-giving and lucky draws. Venue: La Gratitude Preprimary School, 14 La Gratitude St, Pinelands. Cost: free entry; activities vouchers R25 or R50. Contact: 021 531 4961 or lagratitude@polka.co.za Montessori@home Paarl fun day There is a waterslide, jumping castle, face painting, demos from the school’s extracurricular activity groups and more.

Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: The German Club, Klein Parys Rd, Paarl. Cost: adults free entry, children R20 to play at Romping

Rascals inflatable play area all day. Contact: 021 691 5020, a.mans@telkomsa.net or visit montessoriathome.co.za Stellenberg Gardens open day Andrew and Sandy Ovenstone open their magnificent gardens to the public to raise funds for the Manenberg Youth and Child Development Centre, a Catholic Welfare Development Programme. No dogs or picnics allowed. Also 4 November. Time: 9:30am–5:30pm. Venue: Kenilworth. Cost: R30 entry, R20 garden tea. Contact: 021 761 2948 or stellenberggardens@ovenstones.co.za The German International School Cape Town annual fête Visit the Christmas stall and Mozart Café with traditional German cakes, plus buy German and English books.

You can also enjoy a go-kart race, a jumping castle, tombola, a second-hand boutique, a raffle including two Lufthansa tickets to Europe. The beer tent for adults has live

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oompah music from 3:30pm. Also sample German foods. A highlight is Cape Town’s longest foefie slide. Time: 11am–9pm.

Venue: The Deutsche Internationale Schule Kapstadt, 28 Bay View Ave, Tamboerskloof.

Cost: adults R20, children free. Contact Charmaine: 021 480 3840 The Vine School information day For new parents and prospective parents – learn more about holistic, nurturing Ambleside education. Time: 9:30am–11:30am. Venue: 37 Denver Rd, Lansdowne. Cost: free; childcare provided. Contact Charlene: 021 696 3220, info@thevineschool.org.za or visit thevineschool.org.za

4 sunday The MySchool Move for Health 6km fun run/walk The 6km race is for the whole family with prizes to be won. The Schools Mass Participation Competition aims to encourage schools to get their

pupils running the race, as the more learners per school participate, the greater their chance of winning cash prizes. It includes performances from Mr ADT, face painting and a Health Track. Proceeds go to Red Cross Children’s Hospital and you are encouraged to bring a soft toy. Time: 6:45am. Venue: Western Province Cricket Club Sports Centre, Rondebosch. Cost: preregistered schoolchildren R10, other entrants R15. Contact: 021 659 5649 (1pm–4pm, Monday–Friday), move4health@ssisa.com or, to download a training programme and for more info, visit ssisa.com

7 wednesday The Constantia Gift Fair Shop for garden and home accessories, fashion items and must-have gifts, enjoy food and there is a children’s play area. The valley’s finest wines are available to enjoy. Over the weekend there is live music. The fair is supporting the South African Riding for the Disabled Association (Sarda). Ends 11 November.

Time: 9am–5pm, Wednesday and Thursday; 9am–8pm, Friday; 9am–5pm, Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Sarda, Brommersvlei Rd, Constantia. Cost: R20 entry. Contact Carryn: 083 679 4495 or Hayley: 074 759 8515 or info@thegiftfair.co.za

17 saturday 3 November – The German International School Cape Town annual fête

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Autism Awareness 5km fun walk Join this awareness walk to raise funds for the SNAP Education Tutor Fund. Register by 10

21–25 November – The FEI World Cup jumping qualifier

November. Time: 7am event registration.

Venue: Bergsig Church, Boland Rd, Durbanville. Cost: adults R50, children R25.

Contact Michelle: michelle@snap.org.za or, to download entry forms, visit snap.org.za Diabetes South Africa Global Run/ Walk Run or walk 3km, 5km or 10km. The 3km is for moms and tots. Time: 8:30am.

Venue: Mouille Point Lighthouse, Green Point. Cost: adults R30, children R20, moms and tots and wheelchairs R40. For more info and to register: visit diabetessa.co.za

21 wednesday The FEI World Cup jumping qualifier This is the only international jumping competition in Cape Town, and forms the last leg of the SA Series of the World Cup Jumping Championship. There is also a market, entertainment and children’s activities. Ends 25 November. Time: 8:30am–5pm. Venue: Glenellen Farm, Westerford Way, Hout Bay. Cost: free,

Wednesday–Friday; R20, Saturday and Sunday. Contact Julie: 083 564 2350, julie@ capetownequestrian.co.za or Caitlyn: 082 857 5110, caitlyn@capetownequestrian.co.za

23 friday The Green Expo Ends 25 November.

Time: 10am–6pm, daily. Venue: CTICC. Cost: adults R50, students and pensioners R30. For more info: visit thegreenexpo.co.za

24 saturday Save Seven Lives walk This is a fun walk for all ages that supports the Organ Donor Foundation. Time: 10am. Venue: Sea Point Promenade starting from the Mouille Point Lighthouse. Cost: R40. Contact Emlynn: 021 426 0198 or admin@organdonor.org.za

25 sunday Eat Out DStv Food Network Restaurant Awards 2012 The ceremony celebrates South Africa’s top restaurants and

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23 fri

Herschel Carnival There are rides, climbs, games, entertainment for the young, a Christmas market, a great range of food and a dance floor. Time 4:30pm–10pm. Venue 14 Kenmar Crescent, off Herschel Rd, Claremont. Cost: free entry. Pay for rides and climbs.

Contact: info@herschel.org.za

chefs and has become the country’s most prestigious culinary accolade. A limited number of tickets are available. Time: 5pm. Venue: The Westin Cape Town. Cost: R1 250. Contact Julie: 021 417 1257, events@ newmediapub.co.za or visit eatout.co.za

29 thursday The Durbanville Gift Fair The newly launched Durbanville Gift Fair offers garden and home accessories, fashion items and gift items. There is live music over the weekend. Ends 2 December.

Time: 9am–5pm, Thursday; 9am–8pm, Friday; 9am–5pm, Saturday and Sunday.

Venue: D’Aria Wine Estate Racecourse Rd, Durbanville. Cost: R20 entry. Contact Carryn: 083 679 4495 or Hayley: 074 759 8515 or info@thegiftfair.co.za

25 November – Eat Out DStv Food Network Restaurant Awards 2012

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Art classes with Kidz Discovery Offers BrightStart Craft classes for 4 and 5 year olds and multi-medium art classes for 6–12 year olds. Time: call to enquire. Venue: The Drive, Camps Bay. Cost: varies depending on the programme. Contact Kathy: 083 654 2494, info@kidzdiscovery.co.za or visit kidzdiscovery.co.za Free two-hour introductory fabric painting workshop The workshop is for adults and children. 24 November. Time: 8:45am–10:45am. Venue: Pinelands. Cost: R30 per kit. Contact: 021 531 8076, 082 391 4954 or wendyadriaan@telkomsa.net

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29 November–2 December – The Durbanville Gift Fair

French month in Franschhoek The SA-French Season 2012-13 presents visiting France-based chefs, French cooking classes, the Country Village Market every Saturday, cheese tastings paired with wines from the area and pop-up kitchens at selected art galleries. Book through the participating establishments. Ends 30 November. Time: varies. Venue: Franschhoek Wine Valley.

Cost: varies according to establishment.

For more info: visit franschhoek.org.za Sue Nepgen’s children’s art classes The fourth term’s programme includes painting on canvas with acrylics and creative colour etching. You can still register for the fourth term’s classes and for the first term in 2013. For 4–13 year olds. Time: in the afternoons, Monday–Friday and Saturday morning. Venue: Michael Oak Waldorf School, Kenilworth or 28 Klaasenbosch Dr, Constantia. Cost: R550 a term, including materials and firing. Pro-rata fees for late joiners. Contact Sue: 021 794 6609, 083 237 7242 or snepgen@xsinet.co.za

classes, talks and workshops CapeGators Kids Club balloon sculpting workshop Have your child join the free CapeGators Kids Club. Activities include face painting, colouring-in competitions, themed art and crafts, visits from the CapeGate gator mascots and a different activity every month – this month it is balloon sculpting.

For 3–13 year olds. 17 November. Time: 11am–12pm. Venue: CapeGate Shopping Centre, Brackenfell. Cost: free. For more info: visit capegatecentre.co.za magazine cape town

Constantia Tots n Pots Cook a variety of healthy snacks, meals and treats such as cheesy potato skin pizzas, salmon pastries and three-bean salad. Please note the new classes on Thursday and Friday. Time: 2–6 year olds, 3pm, every Wednesday and 1pm and 3pm, every Thursday; 2–3 year olds, 9:30am, every Friday; 2–10 year olds, 10am, every Saturday. Cost: R720 per term or R90 per class, if space is available. Contact Hannah: 082 569 8666, constantia@ totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com

family outings Hout Bay Green Faire The faire showcases greener lifestyle options. Highlights include the Planet Warrior’s Children’s Festival with an eco-fashion show, Trash to Treasure, a talent contest and a green design competition.

The eco-expo is fully run on solar and wind power. Time: 10am–6pm. Venue: Kronendal Primary School, Andrews Rd, Hout Bay. Cost: adults R20, children under 12 R10. For more info: visit houtbaygreenfaire.org Oude Werf Hotel Sunday buffet lunch Enjoy a traditional Sunday buffet lunch.

Time: 12pm–3pm. Venue: Restaurant 1802, Oude Werf Hotel, Stellenbosch. Cost: R125; vegetarian option R85. Contact: 021 887 4608, restaurant@oudewerfhotel. co.za or visit oudewerfhotel.co.za Rococoa chocolate experience Enjoy a wealth of chocolate experiences – from taking a walk through a chocolate plantation to chocolate face painting. This month children up to the age of 16 can claim their free chocolate wafer cone when they bring this insert. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday.

Venue: The Palms Lifestyle Centre, 145 Sir Lowry Rd, Woodstock. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 021 461 2301, info@rococoa.co.za or visit rococoa.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Cape Dairy Experience Watch cows being milked with the latest equipment, and bale handling and straw milling demos.

Visit the Woolworths Dairy Pantry where you can churn your own butter and cottage cheese, see an Italian cheese-making demo and create chocolate. Children can milk mock-cows and watch dog jumping. 2 and 3 November. Time: 10am–5pm, Friday; 9am–7pm, Saturday. Venue: Sandringham.

Cost: R50, which includes a shopping bag and event programme, inspirational demonstrations, fun and games and tastings; free entry for children 18 years and younger. Contact: 021 975 4440, lara@agriexpo.co.za or visit capedairy.co.za

Oude Werf Hotel Sunday buffet lunch

Durbanville Hills summer picnics Head into the olive grove for a relaxing afternoon, an array of delectable treats and a complimentary bottle of Durbanville Hills Merlot Rosé. The picnics run until the end of April. Time: 11am, daily. Venue: Durbanville Hills Wine Estate. Cost: R295 for two adults, children’s picnic R65. Contact Hanlie: 021 558 1300, info@durbanvillehills.co.za or visit durbanvillehills.co.za Nature discoveries Children enjoy fun, nature-themed activities such as animal tracking, camouflage search and imaginative play. 10 and 24 November. Time: 9am–1pm.

Venue: Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden. Cost: R120 per day. Contact: 079 156 0586, rene@naturenetwork.co.za or visit naturenetwork.co.za

markets Arti crafti kids market Children 7–13 years old are selling their handmade and home-baked items at this Christmas themed market. 17 November. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: Our Place, 46 Oxford St, Durbanville. Cost: free entry. For more info: uys@icon.co.za Blue Bird garage market Make the most of this collection of local artisans, specialty cooks, bakers, producers, designers, handpicked South African wines, craft beer, delicious food, live music and a children’s creative area. Time: 4pm–10pm, every Friday. Venue: 39 Albertyn Rd, off Main Rd, Muizenberg. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit bluebirdmarket.co.za Blue Moon Montessori School market Parents from the school and crafters from the local community host an intimate market selling toys, puzzles, building blocks and food. 2 November. Time: 11:30am–1:30pm.

Venue: Blue Moon Montessori School, 8 Galway Rd, Heathfield. Cost: free. Contact Alison: 021 712 0221 or alisonbluemoon@ telkomsa.net

25 November – Free two-hour introductory fabric painting workshop

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calendar Century City Natural Goods Market Visitors can picnic between shopping expeditions and enjoy pony rides. There is a dedicated children’s space, and families can take a boat ride around Intaka Island.

4 November. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Central Park, Park Lane, Century City.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 531 2173 or naturalgoodsmarket@gmail.com Doilie Market A market with handmade goods. A face painter and a balloon artist entertain children. 25 November. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Little Stream, Klein Constantia Rd, Constantia. Cost: free entry.

Contact Natasha: 072 997 7620 Festive Ideas market Shop for exclusive gifts, accessories, décor items, beauty and bathroom pamper products, kitchen accessories, plants and flowers, as well as deli items. There are art and craft sessions for children. 31 October– 4 November. Time: 9am–5pm, Wednesday– Saturday; 9am–4pm, Sunday. Venue: The Simondium Country Lodge, between Paarl and Franschhoek. Cost: adults R20, children free. Contact: 021 874 1046 or visit festiveideas.co.za Jacob’s Ladder Christmas market and fête 3 November. Time: 9am–12pm.

Venue: Jacobs Ladder Preprimary School, cnr Ladies Mile and Homestead Rd, Bergvliet.

Cost: free entry; costs vary for children’s entertainment. Contact: catric@mweb.co.za Nitida evening Xmas market Take a fold-up chair and blanket, and set up in the

Tokai Earth Fair Market children’s activities 10 November: face painting and cupcake decorating. Bring your puppets to take part and be a star in their monthly puppet show. Time: 10:30am. 24 November: recycled art workshop. Take your plastic, paper or magazines. Time: 10:30am.

Venue: South Palms, 333 Main Rd, Retreat. Cost: free. For more info: visit earthfairmarket.co.za

tranquil surroundings. Enjoy the market’s Italian delicacies, sushi, hamburgers, English pies, Thai cuisine, pancakes and handmade chocolates. 23 November. Time: 5pm–9:30pm. Venue: Cassia Restaurant, Nitida Cellars, Durbanville. Cost: free entry.

Contact Getha: 083 651 0699, getha@ nitida.co.za or visit nitida.co.za The River Club Boutique market There are sweet treats, soups, international cuisine, vegetarian food, olives, preserves, Chinese cuisine, charcuterie, cheese, jewellery, clothing, décor, furniture and body products

as well as a line-up of local performers. The children’s area has a petting zoo, train rides, a jumping castle, a craft station and more.

4 November. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: The River Club, Observatory. Cost: R10 entry, children free; half of all proceeds go to Mamelani Projects. For more info: visit http://riverclubmarket.blogspot.com/

on stage and screen Alice in Wonderland A fun-filled dance concert displaying ballet, modern, contemporary dance and hip hop.

Suitable for children from 3 years old.

2 and 3 November. Time: 7pm, Friday; 2pm and 7pm, Saturday. Venue: Van Riebeeck Strand Primary, Dromedaris St, Melkbosstrand. Cost: adults R60, children under 16 R30. Contact: 082 783 3054, melanischoolofdance@gmail.com or visit melanischoolofdance.co.za Cartoonito Tales Great bedtime stories for little ones. They are classic tales with a modern twist. On air from 8 November on Boomerang, DStv channel 302. Time: 7:20pm, every Thursday.

Gravity Falls premieres This quirky new animated series is about twins Dipper and Mabel Pines whose summer plans are ruined when their parents ship them off to their Great Uncle Stan in Gravity Falls, Oregon. First screening on Disney Channel 303 on DStv on 10 November. Time: 10am Lollos Their latest Afrikaans show Ooh La La South Africa has one performance only. 10 November. Time: 9:30am. Venue: Golden Valley Casino, Worcester. Cost: R10. Contact: 023 348 7200 Mzanzi Finale Shows The performance Torchbearers took place at the Wales Millennium Centre in Cardiff in 2012 and has a final showcase with Zip-Zap Circus.

8–10 November. Time: 7:30pm, Thursday and Friday; 3pm, Saturday. Venue: Artscape Theatre. Contact: 021 421 8622 Puppet show with Bonny and friends The magical 3D stage with cute red velvet curtains, lights and music is the platform

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for string, hand and stick puppets with original stories that use a wide range of characters. Puppets engage with the young audience through sing-along songs. 10 November. Time: 10:30am. Venue: Roly Polyz, 8 Bree St. Cost: R40. Contact: 021 418 1818 or heidi@rolypolyz.co.za Sunny Skies Nursery School end of year concert This year’s 40-minute concert is based on the Olympic Games. 24 November. Time: 1:30pm. Venue: Bergvliet

Primary School, Children’s Way, Bergvliet.

Cost: donations at the door. Contact: 021 712 5657, 082 781 3080 or sunnyskies@ telkomsa.net The Dividing Lion This children’s drama production depicts the oneness of religion and encapsulates the true essence of integral yoga. 30 November. Time: 9am–1pm.

Venue: Samaj Centre, Rylands. Cost: R50.

Tickets obtained from Ananda Kutir Ashrama in Rondebosch East. Contact: 021 696 1821

playtime and story time Book Lounge story time They have a lounge, coffee shop and a muralled children’s section for the themed weekly story time. Time: 11am, every Saturday.

Venue: 71 Roeland St, Gardens. Cost: free.

For more info: visit booklounge.co.za The Clay Pot Café grand opening A new family venue with a large outdoor area where children can swing, climb rope and paint pottery. 3 November. Time: 9am–5pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: Little Stream, Klein Constantia. Cost: free entry, enquire about pottery charges. Contact Svenska: 079 562 5257 or svenskabryce@hotmail.com

sport and physical activities

18 November – Delheim MTB Day

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Avon Justine iThemba Walkathon A 5km or 10km walkathon to unite against breast cancer. There is a festival atmosphere with family and child-focused entertainment, as well as a dog walk. 4 November. Time: 8am. Venue: Green Point Common Sports

Field, Vlei Rd, Green Point. Cost: R85; R60 for children under 12 years old; free for children under 2 years old. Contact: 086 100 0288 or ithembacpt@brandaxn.com Camelot horse-riding lessons The lessons are suitable for children from 6 years old. There are pony rides for the little ones. Time: 9am–12pm, Monday–Friday; 8am–12pm, Saturday. Venue: Schoongezicht, Herta Erna Rd, Durbanville. Contact: 083 261 7656, info@camelotridingschool.co.za or visit camelotridingschool.co.za Delheim Trail Run The 7km and 12km route have some good climbing and single-track sections. Timing is done with Amarider Trail Tags, which are available to rent or buy. Suitable for any runners capable of doing a 7km mountain trail. 17 November. Time: 7:30am. Venue: Delheim Wine Estate. Cost: pre-entries: R50 for 7km, R70 for 12km (pre-entry date closes on 14 November). Late entries: R60 for 7km, R80 for 12km. Contact: 021 884 4752 or info@dirtopia.co.za. Delheim MTB Day is on 18 November.

Delvera Hi-Tec Full Moon Hikes Watch the sunset over Table Mountain with stunning views of the winelands while enjoying a snack or picnic on Klapmutskop.

Then see the full moon rise. 28 November.

Time: 5pm. Venue: Dirtopia Trail Centre, Delvera Farm, R44 between Klapmuts and Stellenbosch. Cost: R60; R25 for children under 10 years. Contact: 021 884 4752 or info@dirtopia.co.za

25 sun

Kirstenbosch Summer Sunset Concerts Pack a picnic, kick off your shoes, settle back on the lawn and enjoy everything from jazz to soul, rock to folk and classical in Sunday afternoon wind-down mode. 25 November–7 April 2013. Time: 5:30pm–7pm, every Sunday.

Venue: Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden, Rhodes Dr, Newlands. Cost: adults R85–R135, tickets for 6–21 year olds, to be confirmed. Contact: 021 799 8783/8620 or visit webtickets.co.za

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Kirstenhof Dance and Pilates Studio

Kirstenhof Dance and Pilates Studio The studio offers ballet, modern and hiphop dancing for children, and Pilates classes for adults. Time: varies, Monday– Friday. Venue: 14 Windhover St, Kirstenhof.

Cost: varies for group or private sessions.

Contact Liane: 021 701 2750, 082 739 0100 or lianepenny@gmail.com Trojan Warrior tryouts Gladiators are back, but in a different format. They are called Trojan Warriors and, in the first series, they are looking for all “mortals” who think they have what it takes to fight up to ultimate Trojan Warrior status in the live show at Grand West Casino during next year’s June school holidays. 24 November.

Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Ratanga Junction.

Cost: 13–15 year olds R50; 16–17 year olds, R100; adults, R150. For more info: visit trojanwarriors.co.za

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Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Mediclinic Milnerton. Cost: R300. Contact: daniele. milner@er24.co.za Making holiday time quality time workshop An interactive, fun workshop filled with more than 50 ideas to keep 2–9 year old children occupied. Time: 10am–11:15am. Venue: 11 Middleton Rd, Claremont. Cost: R80. Contact: 082 714 4356, info@reneelighton.co.za or visit reneelighton.co.za Montessori Teacher Training information session They are now taking registration for 2013 enrolments.

21 November. Time: 6pm–7:30pm. Venue: Auburn House Montessori School, 3 Auburn Rd, Kenilworth. Cost: free for information session. Contact: info@montessorisa.co.za Seeking Motherhood Workshop for women experiencing fertility difficulties This two-day workshop is specially designed to support women facing fertility difficulties. It provides a wonderful opportunity to share experiences with other women, build coping and resilience skills and find a greater sense of perspective, wellbeing and balance.

Individual coaching support is included to ensure that each person is able to focus on their specific needs and what will help them most going forward. 10 and 11 November. Time: 9am–5pm, Saturday; 9am–3pm, Sunday. Venue: Highlands Boutique Hotel, Upper Kenilworth. Cost: R1 750 includes pre- and post-workshop coaching, refreshments, lunch on both days and workshop booklet. Contact Sarah: 082 047 8929, sarah@seekingmotherhood. com or visit seekingmotherhood.com

classes, talks and workshops

on stage and screen

Adult and teenager yoga Classes are age-appropriate, educational and fun, with only six to eight students per class. 10 and 24 November. Time: 9am–10am. Venue: 201 Bree St. Cost: call to enquire. Contact Nicole: 083 377 9248, nicole@lila-yogatherapy.com or visit lilayogatherapy.com Capriccio! Arts Powered Preschool info week A new preschool, which combines Montessori education with artsdriven learning for children aged 2–5 years old, is running an information week. 26–30 November. Time: call to enquire. Venue: Capriccio! Arts Powered Preschool, Ascot Rd, Milnerton. Cost: free. Contact Elbe: 081 271 0572, info@artspreschool.co.za or visit artspreschool.co.za Delicious and Divine four-week international cooking course Week one: Italian, week two: Indian, week three: Moroccan, week four: Asian. Time: 7pm–9pm, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Venue: Constantia or client’s house when travel costs are incurred. Cost: R100, which includes take-home recipes. Contact Aisha: 021 794 1324, 076 129 9192 or aisha@bokhararugs.co.za ER24 CPR and first-aid courses The course focuses on CPR for adults, children and infants and the first-aid content is geared specifically towards paediatric emergencies. The course is accredited through the American Heart Association and is valid for two years. 3 November.

Another Friggin’ Tribute Show A tribute to music through stand-up comedy about bands, artists and musically related experiences of the performer’s life.

24 October–3 November. Time: 8:30pm.

Venue: Kalk Bay Theatre. Cost: from R85.

For more info: visit kbt.co.za Martin Evans in FBPK Winner of the 2011 Standard Bank Ovation Award for comedy, comedian Martin Evans returns with hilarious new stories that are both rude and funny. 7–25 November. Time: 8:30pm, Wednesday–Saturday. Venue: Kalk Bay Theatre. Cost: from R95. For more info: visit kbt.co.za Step by Step benefit concert Ian Von Memerty and Roelof Clyn feature in Handful of Keys with Aviva Pelham and dance groups. Donations are welcome.

Bay seats (R150) include refreshments and snacks. The show seeks to raise money for a Re-Walk Suit for paraplegic Andrew Merryweather. 3 November. Time: 8pm.

7–25 November – Martin Evans in FBPK

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Venue: City Hall, Darling St. Cost: R80, R95, R120 or R150. Contact: 021 531 8261, 084 300 6388 or pattypan@iafrica.com

out and about Imhoff Wine Festival Enjoy special discounts on all wine purchases, wine tastings and cheese and tapas available.

3 and 4 November. Time: 11am–4pm.

Venue: Old Cape Wine Shop, Imhoff Farm, Kommetjie. Cost: R50. Contact: 021 783 5054 or info@ocws.co.za Magic of Bubbles Cap Classique and Champagne Festival Local Cap Classique producers, and their French counterparts from the Champagne region in France, present their best bubblies over three fun-filled, festive days in a grand marquee situated on manicured lawns. The theme for this year’s festival is black and white. 30 November– 2 December. Time: 6pm–10pm, Friday; 12pm–5pm, Saturday and Sunday. Venue: area surrounding Franschhoek’s Huguenot Monument. Cost: R200 each. Book through Webtickets: visit webtickets.co.za RMB WineX Cape Town They offer a great range of award-winning wine, insider winemaker facts, Cape Wine Master “tours” through the myriad of varietals and styles on offer and a time to shop for great deals in time for the festive season. 29 and 30 November. Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: The Ballroom, CTICC, Convention Square, Lower Long St. Cost: early bird tickets R120, thereafter R150. Contact: 0861 915 8000, winex@outsorceress.co.za or visit computicket.co.za Zevenwacht Mall Bridal Expo One lucky bride-to-be stands a chance to win a photography and music package valued at over R13 000. Brows through the numerous stalls showcasing weddingrelated goods and services. 2–4 November.

Time: 10am–5pm, Friday; 9am–5pm, Saturday; 10 am–3pm, Sunday. Venue: Zevenwacht Mall, Kuilsriver. Cost: free.

Contact: 021 914 2852, 083 456 2879 or cheryl@cwe.co.za

support groups Aware Bears Creates awareness and a better understanding of cerebral palsy and helps those being mainstreamed to make a smooth transition. Contact: potsfamily@ telkomsa.net or lesley@neverendingstories. co.za or visit neverendingstories.co.za Challenged Kids Parents, who have children facing various difficulties including cerebral palsy and autism, get together to support each other. They meet every second Thursday of the month. Contact Sheila: 021 558 9871 or 076 318 8319 Turning Point support group Provides assistance and services to battered women and their children. Contact Lynia: 072 197 3808 or visit http://turningpoint. wozaonline.co.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Grow Your Baby’s Brain parenting workshop Dr Nils Bergman and Jill Bergman talk about the neuroscience of how the magazine cape town

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Minnie and Johnson Fleur du Cap winner Johnson and SAMA award nominee Minnie perform raucous hits from the sixties to the naughties in wildly camp cabaret style; from French love songs to a Gaga-Madonna medley in the style of zef rappers Die Antwoord. 28 November– 8 December. Time: 8:30pm, Wednesday–Saturday. Venue: Kalk Bay Theatre. Cost: tbc. For more info: visit kbt.co.za

baby’s brain grows during pregnancy and how important the birth and the first hours of life are for the baby’s physical health and emotional attachment to parents. This leads onto “parenting from our biology”, and “secure attachment and contented babies”.

3 November. Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: Vincent Pallotti Hospital, Pinelands. Cost: R150 per person, R250 per couple. Contact: 021 531 5819, jill@kangaroomothercare. com or visit kangaroomothercare.com Kidz Discovery Professional Baby and Toddler plus Mother and Child groups address all aspects of your child’s development in an age-appropriate way; from babies of 3 months to the 5-year-old BrightStart Preschoolers. New classes are being introduced so space is available. They encourage art and tactile exploration, language, fine and gross motor development, visual motor play, funky experiments and fun learning in culture and science. In addition to their BrightStart Preschool Preparedness programme, Kidz Discovery also offers BrightStart Craft classes for 4 and 5 year olds and multi-medium art classes for 6–12 year olds. Time: varies according to the programme. Venue: The Drive, Camps Bay. Cost: varies depending on the programme. Contact Kathy: 083 654 2494, info@kidzdiscovery.co.za or visit kidzdiscovery.co.za Motherhood Matters baby massage classes Four-week baby massage course where moms learn to communicate with their babies through loving touch. For ages 4 weeks–6 months. Starts 14 November.

Time: 10am–11:30am. Venue: Kirstenhof.

Cost: R500. Contact Megan: 071 875 2668, info@motherhoodmatters.co.za or visit motherhoodmatters.co.za Nanny cooking lesson for babies and toddlers The course includes a weaning programme, sterilisation, and recommended freezing methods. Learn to cook lentil and carrot soup, meatballs, butternut and November 2012

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calendar 10am–11:30am, every Wednesday. Venue: 3 Prospect Hill Rd, Wynberg. Cost: R200 per session. Contact: 073 786 6781 or pengarden@vodamail.co.za Moms-to-be and moms and babies support group Moms with babies up to the age of one year and pregnant moms can meet, socialise, learn from and support each other. A variety of guest speakers are invited. Time: 10:30am–12:30pm, every Tuesday; 10am–12pm, every Thursday.

Venue: Cape Town Mediclinic on Tuesday; Kingsbury Hospital on Thursday. Cost: R40 including refreshments. For more info: visit parentcentre.org.za

Babies in Mind workshops for new parents Guidance and support for new parents. Learn how to handle sleeping and feeding difficulties and excessive crying, and how to handle your and your baby’s stress. Time 9:30am–11:30am, every Monday. Venue: City Bowl. Cost: R250 per workshop or R2 000 for a course of 10 workshops. Contact Jenny: 021 461 9153, jenny@ perkel.co.za or visit babiesinmind.co.za

carrot puree, apple and pear puree and chicken stew. These recipes apply to children aged 6 months–2 years. 6 November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: 175 Beach Rd, 3 Anchor Bay. Cost: R300. Contact Janis: 082 319 9215 or visit nicetouch.co.za Parent and toddler yoga 10 and 24 November. Time: 10:30am–11:05am. Venue: 201 Bree St. Cost: call to enquire. Contact: 083 377 9248, nicole@lila-yogatherapy.com or visit lila-yogatherapy.com Prenatal yoga classes Prenatal yoga provides an opportunity for pregnant women to develop greater vitality and awareness of their bodies. Learn gentle postures, breath work, sound and meditation to cultivate flexibility, calm and confidence. Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm, every Thursday. Venue: Lila Yoga Studio, 201 Bree St. Cost: R80 per class; R295 for five classes; R550 for 10 classes. Contact: 083 377 9248, nicole@lila-yogatherapy.com or visit lila-yogatherapy.com Sugar and Spice four-week nanny training The course gives your domestic worker all the essential skills, knowledge and confidence she needs to care for your baby. Course includes first aid, safety, routines, hygiene, nutrition and activities.

Starts 8 November in Constantia. Time: 9am–12pm, every Thursday. Starts 13 November in Panorama. Time: 2pm–5pm, every Tuesday. Starts 16 November in Green Point. Time: 9am–12pm, every Friday.

Starts 21 November in Claremont. Time: 1:30pm–4:30pm, every Wednesday. For Constantia and Claremont classes, contact Kirsten: kirsten@nannytraining.co.za and for Panorama and Green Point, contact

Caithe: caithe@nannytraining.co.za or visit nannytraining.co.za

playtime and story time Toptots Claremont Mother and Child Workshop Creative messy play, perceptual development, massage, sensory motor activities, fine motor activities and music programmes. The first lesson is a free trial. For ages 8 weeks–4 years. Registration is ongoing so you can start at any time during the term.

Time: call to enquire. Venue: 74 Ranelagh Rd, Claremont. Cost: R900 a term. Contact Lisa: 079 248 8083 or lisam@toptots.co.za

support groups La Leche League breast-feeding support groups Panorama: 5 November.

Contact Carol: 021 558 5319. Durbanville: 20 November. Contact Trudy: 021 913 2816 or Tiffany: 021 913 3586. Parow: 21 November. Contact Dilshaad: 021 930 2475. Milnerton Mediclinic: 6 November at 9:30am. Contact Juliet: 021 556 0693.

Parklands Intercare: 28 November. Contact Simela: 021 553 1664. Paarl: 6 November.

Contact Jonette: 021 872 5297. Rondebosch: 13 November. Contact Becky: 021 531 2485. Fish Hoek: 6 November. Contact Tammy: 021 782 9240. Stellenbosch: 13 November. Contact Olga: 082 062 0206 or Francia: 082 940 9685. Malmesbury: telephonic help. Contact Selma: 083 265 5458. Napier: telephonic help. Contact Emma: 082 696 3584. Time: 10am, unless otherwise stated. Cost: free entry Moms First supportive therapeutic group Looks at challenges of motherhood.

Due to the nature of group therapy a commitment is required; a minimum of six weeks is strongly recommended.

Facilitated by Penelope Garden, a therapist and mom who has extensive experience in running group therapy sessions. Time:

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

how to help ABC for Life at Sentinel School They provide supplementary English and maths classes for pupils and counselling for pupils and parents, and they run a reading centre and an after-school soccer project. They need volunteers to read with one or two learners for one hour during the school day on a Monday or Thursday as well as a volunteer who could coordinate one morning a week for four hours. Contact Diana: 082 894 6499, dianaseccombe@ gmail.com or visit abcforlife.org Nappy Run awareness campaign and nappy drive They run an awareness and donations campaign until early December.

The concept is to create awareness of children with disabilities and their rightful inclusion in society, the education system and more. It is also an appeal for donations of much-needed nappies; from infant to larger teen and adult sizes. Ends 3 December. For more info: visit nappyrun.org.za See-Saw-Do This organisation helps corporate business get involved in community upliftment. Together with Old Mutual, they recently painted a crèche in Gugulethu. Their upcoming project is to beautify St Joseph’s Home for Children in the township. The owner of See-Saw-Do wrote and illustrated a book for early readers called Numbers. As part of their mother tongue book donation programme, the organisation is looking for individuals or companies to sponsor the books to underprivileged crèches at a cost of R85 per book. Contact Xanele: 082 924 4684 or visit seesawdo.com Sisanda FunDaytion A volunteer-based, non-profit organisation that takes children out on fun days to places of natural beauty in and around the Western Cape. They need volunteers to accompany the children and to run Sisanda Circles (ongoing recreational activities with smaller groups of children). They also request donations of food and toys and Christmas presents for 5–9 year old boys and girls, and your ideas.

Contact Leesa: 083 641 8150, leesa.flory@ sisanda.org.za or Anja: 076 448 6955, anja. wilkinson@gmail.com

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to capetown@childmag.co.za or fax it to 021 462 2680. Information must be received by 2 November 2012 for the December/January issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za ABC for Life at Sentinel School

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it’s

party time

continued...

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finishing touch

mom: 0 gadget: 1 Some things never change, says ANÉL LEWIS, as she battles

m

Erin, Anél and Conor

otherhood changes you. I can tell you who has the latest nappy deals, and which snack bars have the least sugar, but I can’t name a good cocktail spot off the top of my head, and I don’t know where to get the best shoe deals anymore.

But there’s one thing motherhood has sadly not changed, and that’s my shocking lack of gadget-savvy. For starters, I’m notoriously bad at opening doors. Actually, I struggle to open many things. But things with keys are my worst, and it seems to be a trait I’ve inherited from my mother.

I’m also flummoxed by closed boxes and packaging. Have you ever noticed

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November 2012

how tightly things are sealed these days?

You try and open a tiny tub of food that’s covered with industrial-strength wrapping, while holding a 10kg baby. It’s like breaking into a vacuum-sealed time capsule with your hands tied. Many a container has ended up on the floor, or against the wall, as I’ve attempted the Houdini-like feat of just unwrapping the darn thing.

It drives my husband crazy. He can’t understand why opening a tissue box has to be a major challenge. Even if that box was all that stood between me and R1 million on an episode of Minute to Win it, there would be no chance of me getting to those tissues without doing some serious damage. I think it’s a patience thing. I just don’t have the time, or the inclination, to first fathom how something works.

This device aversion has definitely worsened since I got married, and can now rely on someone else to work things out for me. Craig loves technology, so he deals with the nuts and bolts aspects of

our household. It suited me just fine, until recently, when I needed to do some work on the home computer. I’ve never played on the machine – it’s Craig’s domain – and besides, it’s usually in sleep mode so that I can use it if I need to. But for some reason, that day, the machine was switched off. I looked at the sleek, silver box in front of me. Where on earth was the “on” button? I felt around the edges, looked behind the screen and even under the table at the cables. No amount of pulling and prodding, on anything, resulted in that welcoming green light to signal that the computer was on. Craig was at a work function, and not responding to my SOS sms, so I was at its mercy.

I’ve bartered with camel drivers in Egypt and bungee-jumped from a crane in Milton Keynes. You would think I would be able to find the on button for a computer.

Well, after 20 minutes, I had to admit defeat. I sheepishly phoned a friend, who rightly reprimanded me for being so dependent on my spouse for help. She

reminded me that there was a time, way back then, when I could fix plugs and change car tyres, unaided. Faced with no other option, I turned to Google – using my phone – and found a website with step-bystep, illustrated instructions.

Thankfully, Erin, my wise toddler, seems to have dodged the appliance-phobe gene my mom and I share. She is already a dab hand at opening locked doors and turning on the television. She loves discovering how things work and no matter how deftly I close a box or a container, I can be sure that its contents will be strewn all over the floor by the time I get home. Now I just need to get Craig to teach her how to switch on that computer, just in case…

Anél Lewis is Child magazine’s features editor. She can change a nappy in the dark and will happily scoop up spiders and scorpions if needed, but don’t ask her to open a sealed container or figure out how an appliance works. Follow Anél on Twitter: @ChildMagParent

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PHOTOGRAPH: STEPHANIE VELDMAN

technology and containers with tight lids on the home front.