Child Magazine | Durban April 2011

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

fresh air

raising nature-lovers

eat smart

pretty scary what to do when your child’s fears are real

super foods for your shopping basket

what’s up doc?

health checks you should be having

www.childmag.co.za

April 2011

free

health & wellness

april holiday fun what to do and where to go

health

education

entertainment

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Sometimes I think that my health and, to a large extent, the health of my family depends on my ability to say “no”.

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Elaine Eksteen • elaine@childmag.co.za

Sadly my inability often leads to a grumpy husband, denied or over-indulged children and absolutely no “me time”. Not much of a healthy example I am setting for my daughters. I look around the office and I know this is a shared dilemma. Does the problem lie in our need to please, or our thinking that we can actually do it all – on our own, today?

I am reading Dr Kevin Leman’s Born to Win and, although it deals primarily with birth-order issues, the book also touches on the need to please or do it all. His solution is what he calls vitamin N (as in no) and he recommends a boatload of it for all us

Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Mariette Barkhuizen • mariette@childmag.co.za Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za

Advertising Director

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

functional firstborns who haven’t yet learnt to use the word. “If you find it hard to say ‘no’, simply say ‘let me think about that’.”

This allows you time to be realistic and consider your time and energy constraints.

Healthy advice? I think so.

Now I am waiting for the next unrealistic teenage request and I’m going to give it a try…

If you love the magazine you’ll love our website. Visit us at childmag.co.za

Client Relations Natasha Whittaker • natashaw@childmag.co.za Lisa Waterloo • capetown@childmag.co.za

Durban’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: 1st Floor, MB House, 641 Ridge Road, Overport, 4091. Tel: 031 209 2200, fax:

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April 2011

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contents

april 2011

upfront

health

3

9 ton-sore-litis

should infected tonsils be removed?

Chareen Boake finds out

a note from lisa

6 over to you readers respond

regulars

features

7

10 growing nature-lovers great ideas for helping your child get the most out of playing outdoors.

By Tracy Ellis

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wins

8 upfront with paul Paul Kerton believes in one-on-one time with each of his children 18 resource – health matters health checks parents should be having. By Tamlyn Vincent

18 22 a good read new books for the whole family 12

there are monsters under my bed! know how to deal with your child’s fears and anxieties. By Joanne Lillie

16 super food

some things should always be on

your grocery shopping list, says

Donna Cobban

24 what’s on in april 34 last laugh Sam Wilson introduces us to her SBF (suburban best friend)

classified ads 33 it’s party time 34 family marketplace

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16 this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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April 2011

Johannesburg

Cape Town

Durban

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

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April 2011

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letters

over to you from cover to cover After reading the book reviews in the latest issue of Child magazine, I just had to have a copy of one of the books and went to great lengths to get one. I hope this shows that your magazine is read from cover to cover, and from top to bottom. Thank you for supporting us parents on this amazing journey.

Theresa Chapman Our moms and all our teachers (including myself) love your magazine to bits. I don’t know how moms would do it without all your advice and information to help us give our children the best in life. Your magazine is number one!

Carien and the teachers and moms at Child Educare Centre, Randpark Ridge

long-term relationship In the seven years I have been advertising with Child magazine, we have had our ups and downs together, but you have always been just a phone call away, ready to listen to yet one more client complaining about how slow business has been. Hardly ever, though, have I phoned to thank you for the many, many successful times.

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April 2011

Please give me this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the fantastic job you are doing to ensure that we in our industry are fortunate enough to have the dedicated voice of Child magazine to help us promote our businesses. I know business will soon be back on track, but please know that I am eternally grateful for the personal attention you have given me. I suppose there is a lot one can say about loyalty then.

From a loyal supporter and a big fan of Child magazine, Theo le Roux, Mural Maniac

practical fundraising In your February issue you published fundraising ideas for schools. These are fun and creative, however, many of them also require large amounts of energy, usually from parents and staff. In these cases, when you balance the financial rewards with the real costs, not much money is raised. Here are some practical fundraising ideas: 1. Get parents and students to research where past students are, and set up a proper alumni-funding programme. Most past students will gladly give to their old school.

2. Set up an endowment fund for the school. Money raised like this cannot be used, only the interest can. In this way schools start raising money like universities do.

3. Schools could join up and collaborate by paying professional fundraisers. The biggest spend from corporate companies’ social responsibility budgets is on education – just approach them in a professional manner and follow the right procedures.

Charles Masiel

write to us We would like to know what’s on your mind.

Send your letters to: marina@childmag.co.za

You can also post a comment online at

childmag.co.za

or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

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wins

giveaways in april brush up fit mom Preggi Bellies is an exercise programme for pregnant and postnatal mothers; it is effective in that it incorporates cardiovascular, strength and pelvic floor training. The Preggi Bellies DVD is an hour long low impact aerobic work-out suitable for most stages of pregnancy. It consists of a 20-minute cardio workout, a short cool down and then strengthening and toning of most of the major muscle groups of the body.

It also includes bracing and pelvic floor work. You need to be less than 30 weeks pregnant to start the program, especially if you are going to be doing it at home.

Contact 0860 723 559 or visit preggibellies.co.za or facebook.com/preggibellies One reader of Durban’s Child stands a chance to win a Preggi Bellies DVD and exercise ball valued at R950. To enter, email your details to friends@ preggibellies.co.za with “Childmag DBN Win” in the subject line before 30 April 2011. Only one entry per reader.

Brushing teeth with new Sonicare For Kids is fun and, more importantly, guarantees a deeper, squeakier clean. Suitable for children four to 10 years old, Sonicare For Kids is clinically proven to remove more plaque than manual or electric toothbrushes. KidTimer and KidPacer features play musical tones, which work like a dream to encourage children to brush for the full two minutes recommended by dental professionals. Sonicare For Kids is available from dentists and Dis-Chem or contact IVOhealth on 0860 456 123, info@ ivohealth.co.za or visit ivohealth.co.za Two readers of Durban’s Child stand a chance to win a Sonicare For Kids toothbrush valued at R795 each. To enter, email your details to shaima@ivodent.co.za with “Childmag DBN Win” in the subject line before 30 April 2011. Only one entry per reader.

congratulations to our February winners Sheron Fouché who wins a Leapster Explorer Console and game; Rae Weir who wins an Ideal Toy hamper; Zafar Suleman, Fong-Chih Pan, Taneal Clarke, Luke Comins, Trusha Chetty, Yvonne Pillay and Seshnee Moodley who each win a Kellogg’s hamper; Mogie Govender, Tracey Prepok and Marilyn Ramdhani who each win a Get Fit with Mel B.

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upfront with paul

one-on-one PAUL KERTON recommends time alone with your child.

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define them more accurately, but when I was working on a teenage girl’s magazine we talked to the following: the personality they show to their parents/elders, another personality they show to their peer group and a third, which is their private self, who they are when alone in their bedroom.

My daughters definitely show a different personality when they are with me alone than they do en famille. We’ve always tended to do everything together, but recently I’ve tried a different tack and warmed to the idea of spending precious one-on-one time with each of them. The difference is a breath of fresh air – they both blossom in their own way and their true personality (or certainly nearer to it) shines through. They appear more mature and eloquent and make more of an effort to communicate. There is no shouting to be heard. It also saves on the giant compromise each has to make with regard to how we spend the time. “Let’s do X”, I say. “Great,” says one, excited. “No, that’s boring,” says the other. “Okay, let’s do Y.” Same reaction in reverse.

Over the last year, with a gap of six years, the difference between the two has become marked. Saskia, 11, thinks she is 21; she is interested in fashion, Style Network, shopping and Justin Bieber.

Sabina is more interested in wobbly-headed plastic pets, Disney Channel, dressing-up and having pillow fights. Both are skilled on the computer but while Sabina tries hard, Saskia is always way ahead of her sister.

Consequently, when they are together, although they are generally very good

and get on, there is often a niggling undercurrent with them baiting each other, albeit subtly. When each has a friend their own age over, brilliant, you don’t hear a whimper. If either of them doesn’t, then the “gooseberry” irritates the other two and tries to sabotage their fun.

That is the perfect time to take the friendless one for a one-on-one. I highly recommend it.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

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PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

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n the corporate world, a one-onone with a staff member for just 15 minutes is priceless and can reveal a monumental amount of previously privy insider info. The real reason for Friday’s disaster in production, where the missing 30k went, and various political and staffing gripes all come bubbling to the surface under the pressure of the spotlight or a seemingly innocent bonding moment.

With children a one-on-one may be less formal but the information is no less crucial. Why Daughter One fell out with her best friend. Why she hates wearing leggings. Who said what to whom at Daughter Two’s birthday party, and why she really hates maths.

It’s the “really” that is critical. There is always a real reason behind the alleged reason. And sitting with a child, just idly chatting without anybody else present, provides enormous insight. It is something we don’t do often enough.

We all have various personalities.

Learned psychology professionals will

health

ton-sore-litis Infected tonsils… should they stay or should

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

t

they go? CHAREEN BOAKE investigates.

he two small masses of tissue at the back of the throat that fight infection caused by bacteria and viruses are called tonsils. An inflammation of the tonsils is referred to as tonsillitis. The symptoms are swollen red tonsils, a sore throat, pain or discomfort when swallowing, bad breath, a high temperature, swollen neck glands and sometimes a change in the voice. While bacterial infections can be treated with antibiotics, viral infections can only be managed with supportive care, hydration and temperature control.

When asked if there’s a way to avoid tonsillitis, Johannesburg-based GP Dr Dorianne Green says it’s “a luck of the draw type illness”. Since tonsillitis is contagious, the nasal fluids from sneezing and droplets of spit from coughing are infectious enough to spread it to others. In order to reduce the risk of tonsillitis, one has to ensure a healthy immune system by eating fresh fruit and vegetables, staying away from infected people, regularly washing hands and not using the same eating utensils as an infected person. It’s also a good idea to replace toothbrushes after a bout of tonsillitis to avoid reinfection.

Cape Town-based ear, nose and throat specialist Dr Sharon Williams says, “a decision to do a tonsillectomy is

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multifactorial; the potential benefits need to be weighed against the potential risks. There are a few absolute indications for a tonsillectomy – generally when there are significant risks if not attended to.” Williams gives the following indicators: • Largely swollen tonsils obstructing swallowing, breathing or both. Obstructive sleep apnoea: when the child stops breathing during sleep.

• Complications such as a peritonsillar abscess.

• A suspicion that the tonsils could be malignant.

• If the tonsillitis is also associated with systematic complications involving the kidneys or heart, or arthritis.

• If the tonsillitis reoccurs six to seven times in a year, five or more times in two years or three or more times per year for three years.

When asked about the implications of tonsil removal, Dr Williams says “chronically infected tonsils are an additional burden on the child’s immune system. Once removed, that burden is eliminated”. Tonsils and adenoids are the two largest lymphatic organs in the upper respiratory tract, but there are many other collections of lymphatic tissue in the naso- and oropharynx that continue to assist with immunity when the tonsils are removed.

a tonsillectomy – be prepared • Disclose your full medical history to the doctor, especially if either parent is prone to bleeding or has adverse reactions to anaesthetic.

• Your child will undergo a general anaesthetic (with an anaesthetist on hand to monitor them) and the op should take 20 to 30 minutes.

• Find out from your surgeon if you can stay in theatre until your child has fallen asleep. This is reassuring for young children.

• Talk to your child about what they can expect before, during and after surgery.

• Let your child take their favourite toy along.

Make sure they have it when they fall asleep and when they wake up.

• Children have very different reactions to an anaesthetic. They can wake up aggressive, angry or weepy. Prepare yourself for this and make sure that you’re with them when they wake up.

• Prepare soft foods and have a ready supply of liquids. Liquids are important after surgery.

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growing nature-lovers Our children are becoming increasingly disconnected from nature as they spend less time outdoors. TRACY ELLIS gives tips on changing this – and why it’s so important.

nature’s cure Lauren Coombe, a Durban-based CA and mother of two, recalls how a connection with nature transformed her son Troy. “When Troy was three years old his teacher observed him sitting on his back rather than his bum at ring time. She

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recommended that we have him assessed for low muscle tone. During a rustic three-week holiday, he befriended a seven-year-old boy who was a native to the area. For three weeks Troy ran barefoot and wild while his new friend taught him to climb trees, suck on long grass stems, cross the stony river and skim stones across the dam. By the end of the holiday he had a new body. I realised that he was not being physical enough at home and I had to get off my own behind and get my children moving outside in the afternoons. Now he is a lean but strong little boy and we have not heard the words ‘low muscle tone’ again.”

If you ride a bicycle too fast and fall off you learn something about failure, but with computer games if you fail you press reset and start again.

Experts agree that nature provides the perfect physical and mental training ground for growing strong, healthy bodies and minds. Nature Rocks, a US programme to inspire and empower families to play and explore in nature, claims that families and children who play in nature are happier, healthier and smarter. They go on to claim they are less stressed, more confident, more resilient to germs, developmentally advantaged and all with the added bonuses of nature being free and family friendly.

Michaela de Gier, a human movement educator and founder of the Core4Kids programme, says that outdoor play is essential for the development of gross motor skills, preparing the groundwork on which all academic learning will take place. “Children learn best when all five senses are involved. Time spent outdoors where sights, sounds,

smells and textures are rich and varied, gives children an understanding of their world. Perception is the ability of the brain to interpret messages received through the senses. Perceptual development begins at an early age and a child’s perceptual skills may suffer if much of his learning depends on computers, video, television or other media. Most of these learning methods require only two senses,” she says. “Outdoor play also enhances a child’s intellectual and cognitive development. Nature provides endless prospects for exploration and discovery, enhancing creativity and nourishing imaginations.”

fear and other factors Dr Jim Taylor, director of education at WESSA (The Wildlife and Environment Society of South Africa), believes that our children are living in a virtual, self-indulgent reality and need to get outside more often and have what he calls “reality encounters”. “If you ride a bicycle too fast and fall off you learn something about failure, but with television and computer games if you fail you just press reset and start again. What happens is children can’t cope with failure in the real world.”

Coombe believes that screens and safety are some of the factors keeping our children inside. She believes shutting down indoor magnets, such as TVs and computers, is a huge part of the solution in getting children to opt for the outdoors, but she acknowledges this is easier said than done. “Saying no to indoor technology is difficult for busy parents. TV is an easy boredom buster, so we give in too quickly. We also live in a world of crime, which prevents us from cutting the umbilical cord and letting our children go. It is important to satisfy yourself that your outdoor areas are safe so you can let them play outside without worrying,” she says.

With the decks clearly stacked in favour of Mother Nature, parents and educators have a responsibility to foster child-nature connections wherever possible. Here are some suggestions:

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

w

hat does a stone taste like?” he said. It was the strangest question my husband had ever asked me. “You don’t have to answer,” he said, “but if you think about it hard enough, you do know.”

He was right. At some point in my toddler life I must have licked a stone and while I couldn’t recall a specific memory or taste, I understood what he was getting at.

The most random outdoor encounters we have as children are filed away in our brains, and add to our sensory catalogue. This is exactly why children are supposed to connect with nature and, in the most random, unstructured ways, engage all five senses. The texture of a gritty stone on the tongue, the chirp of a cricket in the grass and the tickle of a ladybird crawling up your arm just before she vibrates her wings and flies away, are a few of the experiences every child should have. Sadly many of them haven’t and probably won’t without some intervention.

Richard Louv, author of Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder, and chairman of the Children & Nature Network writes: “…the way children understand and experience nature has changed radically.

Today, children are aware of the global threats to the environment – but their physical contact, their intimacy with nature, is fading.”

Various international studies have indicated that outdoor activity among children is rapidly declining. This indoor migration is causing great concern among parents, doctors and researchers worldwide, who are finding a concerning correlation between the decrease in outdoor activity and the increase in childhood obesity, ADHD, depression and other physical and mental disorders.

facilitate the nature-child connection • Lead by example: hold a frog without squirming, try a forest canopy tour, brave the icy sea water, choose an outdoor sport or just spend 20 minutes a day on a blanket in the garden. Your children will follow your lead.

• Start a nature club. Meet regularly with a group of friends in public gardens, nature reserves and parks for unstructured play-in-nature time. Visit childrenandnature.org which has a downloadable kit on how to start a family nature club.

• Have a neighbourhood nature show-and-tell party.

Ask children to collect and bring their most interesting nature finds (birds nests, snail shells or feathers) and then discuss these objects.

• Compulsory outdoor time. Limit screen time to an hour a day or keep it off limits Monday to Thursday.

You don’t always have to produce an action plan. Just declare outside time and let them improvise.

• Keep a family nature journal. Glue feathers, seed pods, leaves and dried flowers into a large scrapbook and add field notes (date, place found, description, botanical name).

• Start a garden. Vegetables, herbs and flowers are rewarding for children and can be grown in the smallest space or in containers. Let children get involved in every aspect from digging to planting, watering and picking the produce themselves.

• Take indoor activities outdoors. Eat on the veranda, or under a tree, take toys onto a blanket or lie on the grass and look for shapes in the clouds.

• Don’t overprotect. Allow your children to get a little risky with climbing trees, balancing on walls, jumping and acrobatics. Bumps, bruises and scrapes teach them to navigate their world and make them more resilient.

• Have nature hunts. Draw pictures of ant hills, spider webs, different shaped leaves and rocks, and send

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them out to see what they can find. No need to hide treats, let nature be the prize.

• Go for regular walks but make a point of stopping to enjoy nature on the way. Point out interesting trees, plants, birds and animals as well as sounds and smells.

Try to engage all the senses.

• Ensure your garden is secure and childproof so that you can let your children explore it for hours with peace of mind.

• During (limited) TV time, choose a nature show over a cartoon series. Elephant migration may seem a little over their heads, but the brain stores these “random” facts and one day they may just use them.

• Welcome dirt. Allow your children to literally “play in the mud”. Give them buckets of water and let them get messy.

• Take your children on nature trails, day hikes and bush walks when they are young. They may initially battle with long grass, steep hills and endurance but perseverance pays off.

• If you live on the coast, visit the beach often. Swim in the ocean, explore rock pools and breathe the salty air.

• Adopt a park. Get together with families in your area and agree to adopt an unloved public park in your neighbourhood. Pitch together to clear litter and maintain facilities. Petition your municipality to upgrade facilities or at least to work with your group to make the park a safe place to play. (Visit childmag.co.za/articles/park-nplay for more on adopting a park.)

• As children grow older, take part in social or community bike rides, obstacle courses and walks.

• Take rustic family holidays: go camping, stay on a working farm or on a wild stretch of beach.

• Choose birthday gifts that encourage a love of nature: a telescope, flower press, ant farm or reference books to identify birds and animals – but be sure to get outside and use them.

• Set up camp in the garden one night. Pitch a tent, roast marshmallows, name the stars and fall asleep to the sound of crickets chirping.

• Aquariums, zoos, nature museums and environmental centres are great but save these for rainy days. The emphasis is on getting outside.

• Join organisations such as SA Scout Association, Girl Guides Association of South Africa and WESSA, which facilitate nature discovery through organised outdoor activities and adventures for children.

• For more ideas read the monthly suggestions in the “finding nature and outdoor play” section of the Child magazine calendar (see page 29) or visit childmag. co.za/what’s-on/today.

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parenting

there are monsters under my bed!

Every child will experience fear at some stage. Knowing how to deal with

h

er older girls started to fear monsters at age four. “They suddenly needed the light on and the door open at night,” says Bonnie Bester (33), an entrepreneur from Cape Town, and mom to twins Abigail and Kiara (5), and Jessica (21 months). “I obliged because to them their fears were very real and I didn’t want to dismiss that,” she says.

Childhood fears are extremely common and most children experience phases of anxiety every day – or imagined things at some point. “Anxiety is very much a part of the human condition, and at different developmental points it can actually be quite useful,” says Dr Wendy Duncan, child psychiatrist at the Child and Family Unit of the Charlotte Maxeke Johannesburg Academic Hospital.

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“A wariness of strangers, for instance, can protect your child from harm.

Sometimes a level of anxiety is instinctive and tells a child to be cautious and return to her caregiver. In older children, anxiety over performance can drive them to try harder and achieve, so anxiety is appropriate and necessary at certain points. Children who don’t develop a sense of fear can be quite vulnerable,” says Dr Duncan. But it is important to help your child manage her fears properly at the time they arise, so that they are not amplified or taken into adulthood. “It’s also important that we don’t always reassure children that their fears will never happen; they might. Instead, we have to raise their belief in their inner strength to cope,” says Johannesburg-based educational psychologist Nadia Louw.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

your child’s anxieties can make all the difference. By JOANNE LILLIE

for 2- to 10-year-olds: • A fear of the dark is particularly common up to age five or six and a night-light will often do the trick. “Help your child look for her strengths by asking her about a time she wasn’t scared of the dark, and what powers she had within herself to overcome her fear in that instance that she can use the next time,” suggests Louw.

• A fear of monsters is usually shortlived. “I used to pretend to catch the monsters, wrap them in a blanket and throw them out the window or door. I made such a big drama doing all of this, my daughters were in fits of giggles and the monster problem very quickly went away,” says Bonnie.

This type of approach is particularly helpful because young children need very practical, tangible ways to deal with fear as they cannot deal effectively with abstract concepts yet, explains Justine Bartlett, a clinical psychologist from Durban.

“Another way is to ask children to draw a picture of what is scaring them. This allows them to visualise their fear and makes

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it more real. Then get them to tear up the picture and jump on it and squash it,” says Bartlett.

“Whatever your child’s fear, telling them that they are being silly, that there is nothing to be scared of, or that they shouldn’t worry, does not make them feel heard. Allow children to express their fears and concerns openly, and acknowledge their feelings,” says Louw.

• Particular animals, like dogs or snakes, often cause small children to worry, and this is within the spectrum of normal development, say experts. “Gradual exposure is imperative in order to stop this fear becoming something more severe or lifelong. Try introducing your child slowly to the company of little dogs at a distance and then gradually get closer and closer, then progress to bigger dogs at closer

I used to pretend to catch the monsters… and throw them out the door. I made such a big drama my daughters were in fits of giggles.

• A fear of strangers serves a purpose and can be managed through your example.

Greet strangers politely but don’t engage in long-winded conversations. In any fearful situation, breathing and relaxation techniques can help: “Teach your child to take deep breaths and visualise a safe, happy space if they start to panic,” suggests Louw.

range,” suggests Bartlett. “It won’t help your child to remove her quickly from a situation she is scared of. If you visit a friend with a large dog, call ahead to ensure the dog is contained. When you arrive take your child to see the dog and reassure her. Work towards getting them to eventually touch the dog or letting the dog out so they can just be in the presence

when to worry While some fear is normal, concern is warranted if anxiety affects your child’s everyday life. If his functioning at school – academic and social – is impacted, you might need to seek help, says Duncan. For example, if your child develops an extreme aversion to germs it might be a stage – but when your child can’t leave the house on time because she’s washing her hands repeatedly, or doesn’t want to touch the school desk, this is more than a quirk, and needs professional attention.

The South African Depression and Anxiety Group offers a free 24-hour counselling service, and can refer you to a child therapist in your area. Contact: 0800 20 50 26 (seven days a week, 8am–8pm), sms 31393 or visit sadag.co.za

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parenting

of the dog,” advises Bartlett. Avoiding dogs altogether reinforces the idea that they are indeed too scary to face.

• Fears over crime and trauma permeate down to our young children. Your child’s level of fear depends on his exposure to crime, and on what mom and dad are talking about. Children absorb their parents’ feelings about situations and they pick up on what you say. “Be conscious about discussing adult things in front of children, and of what they’re seeing on TV. Anxieties develop as a result of watching ageinappropriate content,” says Duncan.

or they hide their homework diary – they are trying to tell you it’s too much,” says Duncan. “Overload can be quite harmful, and unstructured play is at least as useful in development as going to loads of classes and formal activities,” she says.

• Many children are afraid of losing a parent. “If your child expresses this fear they need a lot of reassurance that you as parents do your utmost to ensure that you are safe and will be there for them, but if something should happen to either of you they need to be told what measures are in place,” says Bartlett. This may seem

It’s also important that we don’t always reassure children that their fears will never happen; they might. Instead, we have to raise their belief in their inner strength to cope.

• Even very young children are afraid of not doing well at school. “Instil encouragement without pressure,” advises Duncan.

“Achievement and ambition are the order of the day, and adults often live vicariously through their children. We tend to push our children to do more, have more, or be better than we were. Be aware that this sort of pressure is bad for children,” she says. We need to find a balance between creating opportunities and giving them too many. “When children manifest distress – by refusing to do certain things; throwing tantrums when they have to go to ballet; niggling; or when school performance dips

macabre, but is more likely to reassure them than a fabrication. “Never lie to children and tell them not to worry as you’ll always be there for them. This isn’t always in your control. Never minimise a child’s fears and make up stories to allay fear. Be as frank and honest as is appropriate for their developmental age,” advises Bartlett.

We should give children a little space to develop their own coping mechanisms too. “We need to encourage our children to explore (within appropriate boundaries) and reassure them of their strengths, rather than constantly warning them about danger, and hovering,” says Louw.

check your own fears “Sometimes fear manifests because of a traumatic experience, but more often it’s when parents’ own anxieties are transferred to their children,” says child psychiatrist Dr Wendy Duncan. As parents, we need to be cognizant of our own feelings, and what we might be instilling in our children. “Anxious children generally have extremely anxious parents,” says Duncan.

“Children are all born fearless and research has shown that fear is a completely learnt behaviour. This means that as soon as they are old enough to watch you and learn from your behaviour, they can learn fear. This can happen from as early as six months, but more often from the age of two, when they are starting to develop certain cognitive abilities and are able to understand some level of danger,” says psychologist Justine Bartlett.

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what teens fear most Social exclusion; doing poorly at school; not having the right “stuff”; and looking bad top the list of teenage fears. Anxiety at this age almost always centres around social acceptance.

As children develop, their points of reference change from their parents to their teachers to their friends. That’s why at this age, say experts, you can’t underestimate the power of peers. Peer relationships become more important and concerns over these relationships are enormous.

Risks associated with the need to fit in include disordered eating habits, substance abuse, and perfectionist behaviour, notes Duncan. So, what can you do?

• Name that emotion. “Often we struggle to express our own emotions, but the most important thing we parents can do is to help our young adults name their emotions,” says Duncan. Try: “I can see you are angry about…” or “I understand you are worried because…” Create space to say to your child that if they feel like talking about it, you’re there for them.

• Discuss worst-case scenarios. It’s often helpful to talk about the worst thing that can happen in a situation as teenagers often build things up to be far worse in their minds than they are in reality, says Louw. “And as adolescents tend to experience their emotions quite intensely, remain as calm and understanding as possible, and allow your child to vent,” she says.

• Set boundaries. Balance is important, and you need to allow them the space to learn to become independent, but still protect them and give them boundaries, says Duncan.

“Parents should still set the rules, but there is a process of some negotiation whereby the teenager can make his needs known, and together you can agree on a solution. The currency of adolescence is money, autonomy/ freedom, and peer group – use this to negotiate. For example, your older teenager wants to go out over the weekend with friends, but you want to structure her life. You could say something along the lines of: ‘we have

certain expectations, we need you to do your chores, we need you home during the week by 6pm; then you can go out until 11pm on weekends. If you come home later, we will need to look at whether you’ll go out again’. Curtail her freedom or her phone usage if she’s not acting responsibly.”

• Follow through. The agreed consequences must be enforced if there is to be mutual respect, and it’s important for all adults in the house to be consistent and unified in their message. These boundaries are both containing and freeing for young people: “They are free to a point, if they uphold the rules you’ve placed to protect and care for them, as is your parental responsibility,” says Duncan.

• Encourage relaxation. Relaxation and techniques such as deep breathing, visualising success and focusing on all their previous successes may assist teenagers in feeling more empowered, suggests Louw.

• Watch for stress signals. A teenager might withdraw, change her behaviour, or act out, and this may be a manifestation of something else. Take note of this behaviour, as some more serious anxiety problems (such as generalised anxiety disorders and social phobias) can start in adolescence, says Duncan.

sources Dr Wendy Duncan senior specialist in child psychiatry, Child and Family Unit, Charlotte Maxeke Hospital, Parktown, Johannesburg, wendyj.duncan@gmail.com Nadia Louw (Johannesburg), educational psychologist, nadialouw@bryanston.com, 082 785 7601 Justine Bartlett, clinical psychologist (Durban), jmarengo@mweb.co.za, 031 303 3313

magazine durban

April 2011

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food

DONNA COBBAN rounds up some of the essential food items that will go a long way towards ensuring the optimum health of your family.

shopping tip Include whole-wheat flour, bread and pasta, as well as oats, mielies, barley, brown rice and popcorn in your trolley to ensure an optimum intake of whole grains. why? They contain the cereal germ, endosperm, and bran and, because the whole grain is intact, they contain more nutrients and fibre than refined grains.

The regular consumption of whole grains can help prevent cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes and obesity. serving suggestion If you like oats for breakfast try the original Swiss muesli recipe: soak some oats in water overnight, then add chopped fresh fruit, raisins, nuts,

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desiccated coconut and a spoonful of yoghurt. It ensures the slow release of glucose into the bloodstream – important for school-going children.

beans and lentils shopping tip Buy the tinned four-bean mix and decant into small containers for a nutritious school snack. Stock up on packets of dried lentils as they are incredibly economical as well as nutritious. why? They are a great source of both kinds of fibre – insoluble fibre, which helps to keep children regular, and soluble fibre, which plays a role in keeping blood sugars stable. They are also rich in protein and are a good source of iron.

serving suggestion Lentils and bean salads are quick and easy. Cook the lentils or beans, grate in a carrot, add some chopped up cucumber and tomatoes, add a handful of sunflower seeds, along with chopped hard-boiled egg, a drizzle of olive oil and some balsamic vinegar – fast food the way it should be. For optimum nutrition, lentils should be eaten along with whole-grain rice to ensure a complete protein (you can throw them in the same pot together), this is because lentils contain the amino acid, lysine, but are low in methionine. Wholegrain rice, however, is high in methionine yet low in lysine. Eaten together, the one makes up for the other’s lack, providing a perfect protein-rich meal.

pilchards and sardines shopping tip Other oily fish rich in omega-3 fatty acids include mackerel, salmon and tuna (sms the name of the fish to 079 499 8795 to see if it’s a sustainable seafood). why? They are packed with omega-3 fatty acids, which have been shown to promote healthy brain development and growth and concentration in children. Including oily fish in your child’s diet from an early age will ensure they develop a taste for them. serving suggestion Always add a couple of tins to your shopping trolley as they are perfect for quick and easy dinners.

Mash with a fork, add a squeeze of lemon juice and serve on whole-wheat toast with cherry tomatoes.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

whole grains

eggs shopping tip Check the sell-by date as fresh eggs are not only tastier, but also keep their shape and colour better when cooking. why? Eggs are a good source of protein, vitamins A and D, and iron. serving suggestion Perfect for Sunday night dinners – scramble the eggs with some onions, spinach and tomatoes or serve up French toast topped with melted cheese. For perfect hard-boiled eggs, simply pop the egg into a pot of cold water (this way the egg shell won’t crack), put the pot on the stove to boil and once the water is boiling, remove the egg and leave to cool.

yellow vegetables shopping tip Stock up with carrots, butternut, squash, yellow peppers and the yellow-fleshed sweet potatoes. Scrub skins with a veggie brush to get rid of any pesticide residue. why? Yellow vegetables are especially good for you because they are an excellent source of vitamin A, which is essential for healthy eyes and a strong immune system. serving suggestion Cut up carrots and peppers to eat raw with a hummus dip. Thinly slice potatoes, carrots and butternut, drizzle with a little olive oil and roast into chips. Cut open gem squash, remove seeds, add a dab of butter, some grated cheese and a little nutmeg, then cook in the microwave for a few minutes for an instant meal.

milk and dairy foods shopping tip Choose plain yoghurt and stir in chopped fruit when serving – this way you steer clear of added sugar, colourants and artificial flavours. For similar reasons, avoid processed cheeses with added colourants. why? Dairy contains calcium, which is essential for healthy, strong bones and teeth. Children should be encouraged to have milk, yoghurt or cheese every day. serving suggestion Dairy is an easy one to get children to consume – from frozen yoghurt to smoothies, milkshakes and hot chocolate.

fruit (vitamin C) shopping tip Rather give fresh fruit than a pre-prepared fruit juice, as vitamin C content magazine durban

is compromised by exposure to light and juices will have lost a degree of vitamin C content, particularly if stored in clear bottles. why? Children should be encouraged to eat a wide range of fruit, particularly those rich in vitamin C, such as oranges, naartjies, kiwi fruit, guavas, strawberries, mangoes, papaya and blueberries. Vitamin C is essential for a healthy immune system and gums, and it also aids in the absorption of iron from food, so it is a good thing to eat along with iron-rich food. serving suggestion Fruit has endless possibilities. Try smoothies, fruit kebabs and fruit salads or juice the fruit and drink it or make into ice lollies. Try making sauces to drizzle over French toast – put a spoon of corn flour, a little sugar and fruit such as blueberries into a pot to cook, stirring constantly.

water

swiss chard

shopping tip Steer clear of bottled water if you can; it’s fast becoming an environmental no-no and there are fears of BPA (Bisphenol A) leaching into the water. Rather fit a filter to your taps if you are concerned about the quality of your water supply. why? Children need to have plenty of fluids to keep themselves hydrated and one of the easiest and healthiest ways to do so is to get them to drink plenty of tap water. serving suggestion If children are offered water as a drink from early on they will get used to the taste and choose water over sweetened juices or other cold drinks.

Add some fresh mint, a piece of lemon or a dash of juice to encourage your children to drink up.

shopping tip Why not grow your own?

Throw some seeds down, water and harvest regularly and your supply will be ongoing throughout the summer months.

Failing this, reach over the more expensive baby spinach packets in your local shop and choose this ruddier variety of greens. why? Swiss chard is high in iron. serving suggestion Use in omelettes and quiches, or boil alone and add a dash of lemon juice before serving. Serve some freshly squeezed orange juice with Swiss chard as the iron in these leafy greens is the vegetarian type of iron, known as the non-heme type. The consumption of vitamin C at the same meal increases the body’s ability to absorb the iron.

With thanks to Cape Town-based dietitian Deborah Hoepfl for her input.

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resource

health

matters

TAMLYN VINCENT gives some guidelines for health checks parents should be having.

w

e all worry about the health of our children, but often give little thought to our own… It’s important to make sure we keep an eye on our health too.

Here is a list of tests that parents should be having to ensure problems are spotted early enough to treat optimally. These are guidelines only and if you experience any worrying symptoms you should seek advice from your doctor.

moms and dads blood pressure Blood pressure can fall into several categories: lower than 120/80 is optimal; 120/80 to 140/90 is pre-hypertensive; and above 140/90 is classified as high blood pressure. High blood pressure (or hypertension) can lead to an increased risk of heart disease or a stroke.

Most people don’t experience symptoms of high blood pressure, so it is recommended you have your blood pressure tested every three to five years. Risk factors include a family history of heart problems, diabetes, and lifestyle factors such as drinking excessive amounts of coffee or alcohol, and not exercising.

Low blood pressure (or hypotension) is not usually a problem unless it is so low that not enough blood is getting to your organs. Symptoms would include dizziness and feeling faint. getting tested Dr Shezadi Kamroodien, a Johannesburg GP, suggests starting with blood pressure tests in your 20s, particularly if you are in the high-risk category. The tests are inexpensive and can be done at most pharmacies and clinics. If you have high blood pressure you should see a doctor. (The test can also determine if your blood pressure is too low.)

As we age, our bones lose density, causing them to become fragile and fracture.

Osteoporosis is a disease found in both men and women, and is characterised by loss of bone mass and increased fragility. The first sign is usually a fracture after minimal trauma, which often happens between 50 and 70 years of age, although it can happen at 30 or younger. It is advisable to go for testing if you are at risk. Kamroodien says “those who are very petite, are vitamin D deficient, and have a family history of osteoporosis” are at risk.

Other risk factors include age, menopause before the age of 45, excessive use of alcohol or smoking. getting tested Testing bone mass can be costly. According to Kamroodien, bone-density scans are generally only done if the doctor suspects osteoporosis. Tests can include a dual-energy X-ray absorptiometry, where an X-ray is passed through part of the skeleton, or computerised tomography, which measures spinal-bone mass. Other tests include X-rays, single-photon absorptiometry and ultrasound, although these do not always provide sufficient information.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

bone density

cholesterol Cholesterol is produced by our bodies and is used for things such as making vitamin D and building cell walls. It is also found in certain foods, such as eggs, dairy products and meats. While the body does use some cholesterol, the excess can gather on artery walls, which may lead to heart problems. High cholesterol is often only diagnosed after the damage has been done, so levels should be checked every five years. If you are found to have high cholesterol, or if there are high-risk factors, then more frequent testing will be recommended. Risk factors include age, a family history of high cholesterol, smoking and high blood pressure. getting tested Kamroodien recommends that everyone older than 20 years have a fasting lipogram done, which tests total cholesterol, and good and bad cholesterol.

Alternatively, a cholesterol test can be done by giving a small sample of blood for testing, either in a laboratory or onsite, although these are only suggested as diagnostic tools. A cholesterol reading of below 5 mmol/l (millimoles per litre) is preferable, while a reading above 7 mmol/l would require a visit to the doctor.

glucose and diabetes High glucose and blood-sugar levels can be dangerous, so those at risk should be tested every one to two years. If blood glucose levels are normal, then testing can be done every three years. You should get tested if you are overweight and have other risk factors, including high blood pressure, high cholesterol or you have suffered from gestational diabetes.

Kamroodien also highlights the “strong genetic component” of diabetes, saying that those with a family history of diabetes should be tested from their 20s. Those who don’t exercise are also at risk. getting tested There are three tests that can be performed. The fasting plasma glucose test requires you to fast for eight hours, after which your blood will be tested to determine how much glucose is in the plasma. The oral glucose tolerance test can determine how well you handle a normal amount of glucose. You will be given a beverage containing glucose to drink and then your blood will be tested at two-hour intervals.

Both tests can detect pre-diabetes and diabetes. In a random plasma glucose test, blood is taken randomly throughout the day – someone without diabetes will have fairly constant glucose levels. This test can detect diabetes.

skin checks In South Africa’s climate, it is essential for everyone to conduct regular skin checks, and to take note of new and changing moles. People at particular risk would include those who are fair-skinned, have a personal or family history of skin cancer, have suffered severe sunburn or have more than 50 moles. Kamroodien says that “a mole that gets bigger, changes colour or becomes painful” should be checked by a doctor. getting tested Skin cancers usually appear as tumours, with the most dangerous being melanomas. These can appear as a new mole, or as changes in an existing mole – doing an ABCD check helps to identify these changes. Check for asymmetry (the halves don’t match), border (the edges are irregular), colour (uneven colour) and diameter (there is a change in size). Other checks you can do include regular self-examinations as well as mole mapping, where moles are photographed regularly in order to pick up any changes.

Mole mapping can be done by a doctor or dermatologist, or you can do it yourself.

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moms only

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breast checks

pap smear

Breast cancer occurs when cells in the breast divide and grow into tumours. Symptoms of breast cancer include a change in the shape, size or colour of the nipple or breast, discharge from the nipples, puckering of the skin, a lump or swelling, or pain in the breast or armpit.

Breast cancer occurs predominantly in post-menopausal women, however, younger women are also susceptible, so they should start checking their breasts regularly once they reach puberty. Tina Naidoo, Durban health programmes coordinator at CANSA, says women should begin self-examining “when they start to menstruate”.

This familiarity with your breasts also increases the chance of detecting a lump. getting tested Women should examine their breasts at the same time every month, “two weeks after menstruation when the breasts are not tender”, says Naidoo.

Self-examination can be done by looking at both breasts and the armpit area, and by feeling both while standing up and lying down. Naidoo also recommends that women over 50 years schedule regular mammograms with their doctor, where a special X-ray is used to determine if there are any lumps in the breast. If there is a high risk, such as a family history of breast cancer, then women should begin having mammograms at 40 years of age.

Cancer of the cervix is mostly caused by various strains of a virus called the human papillomavirus (HPV). HPV is a sexually transmitted infection; most of the time the immune system will eradicate the virus itself. However, in some cases, the virus remains and over time has the potential to convert normal cervical cells into cancerous ones. Cervical cancer often only manifests symptoms in its later stages. These symptoms include abnormal vaginal bleeding, pain during intercourse or after a pelvic exam, or bleeding after menopause. Early symptoms, such as unusual or odorous discharge, are rare, so pap smears are done to detect precancerous and abnormal cells in the cervix. getting tested Cervical cancer cells change over time from normal to abnormal and the pap smear helps to detect these gradual changes. CANSA therefore recommends that all sexually active women get tested every two to three years. If there is evidence of abnormal cells, Naidoo suggests getting tested annually. Women should go for their first pap smear if they experience frequent viral infections or symptoms of cervical cancer. Otherwise, 30 years is the recommended age. A pap smear is a straightforward test, where a sample of cells is taken from the cervix. A small instrument is used to scrape cells off the wall of the cervix; these are then placed on a slide and sent for testing.

magazine durban

dads only testicular cancer screening Men are encouraged to begin testing for cancer of the testicles from as early as the onset of puberty – being familiar with the normal testicle will help to identify unusual lumps or swelling if they develop. Risk factors include being between the ages of 15 and 40, having had an undescended testicle at birth, having a family history of testicular cancer and being HIV-positive. Symptoms include a lump in the testicle, the enlargement of one testicle, or of the breast area or nipples, and a heaviness in the testicles, scrotum or groin. getting tested Dr Ehab Helmy Abdel Goad, clinical head of the Ethekwini Department of Urology encourages mothers to check that their baby’s testes are in the scrotum. He also recommends self-examination from early on to detect “any changes, such as the testes becoming painful or increasing in size”. Selfexamination can be done by looking at the scrotum and feeling each testicle for any unfamiliar lumps or nodules. Men should also ask their doctors to examine their testicles once a year.

prostate cancer check Older men are at risk of developing prostate cancer, and this risk increases with age, or

magazine durban

if there is a family history of prostate cancer.

CANSA therefore recommends that men start with being tested once a year at about age 50 (45 if they are at higher risk). The prostate is a small gland underneath the bladder, and once this becomes enlarged, the urine stream begins to slow. Other symptoms, according to Goad, include burning or pain at the tip of the penis, and a dull ache in the prostate. These symptoms often only become apparent in the later stages of the disease, so screening tests are advisable. getting tested There are two tests men can have to detect prostate cancer. The first is a PSA test in which blood is drawn and the amount of PSA (prostate specific antigen) in the blood determined. A high reading means that there may be prostate cancer. As there are other causes of high PSA, further tests are then likely to be performed.

A digital rectal exam (DRE) is used to check for abnormalities in the lower pelvic region. To perform this test, the doctor places a gloved, lubricated finger into the rectum and applies pressure to the prostate to examine it. If either test indicates a risk of cancer, then the doctor is likely to recommend further testing.

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books

a good read for toddlers great to read out loud

Tractor Factory

By Elinor Bagenal and Steve Augarde

(Macmillan Children’s Books, R158) A little girl wants her very own miniature wild animal. Anything from a little snappy happy crocodile and a tiny trundle rumble elephant, to a pocket-sized grizzly bear. But as her big brother explains, a real wild animal would make a terrible pet. You can’t nuzzle a crocodile or tickle a wild elephant, and a grizzly bear belongs in a cave not a pocket. But there’s one pet that loves to be tickled and cuddled. It looks a bit like a tiger, only much smaller... Children aged three plus will love this delightful, rhythmic tale, bursting with imagination. It’s also a playful introduction to a world of wild animals.

(Mathew Price Ltd., R106) Children aged four to eight can have fun with this pop-up book that follows the assembly line of a tractor factory. With tabs to pull and lots of moving parts, the book allows young readers to help build the perfect tractor. The engine needs to be lowered onto the chassis, the front-end loader needs to be fitted, and everything must be checked to see if it’s in working order. This book will fascinate all young mechanics. Note: some of the small parts can be a choking hazard for little children.

Fairy Magic! and Wizard Magic!

By Rachel Fuller (Macmillan Children’s Books, R85 each) These little books come with sliding tabs to create magic changing pictures on each page. Apart from providing fun and entertainment, they will stimulate your little one’s imagination and introduce them to rhythm and rhyme. Children as young as two will love these bright books with their hidden surprises. The illustrator, Rachel Fuller, worked for many years as a children’s illustrator, before taking time off to bring up her twin boys. She is known for her colourful, bold mixed-media artwork. This is the perfect beginner book for aspiring fairy and wizard toddlers.

(Campbell Books, R76 each) These touch-and-feel books have a surprise for little enquiring minds on every page. Your child can feel a scratchy-scratchy grasshopper, a shiny beetle, a fluffy rabbit, a slippery fish and a leathery hippo plus lift a flap to find a slimy snail. Both books have big-impact endings. Rod Campbell has been illustrating and making children’s books since 1986 and he is also the creator of the Dear Zoo series.

childmag.co.za

for preschoolers

I want a Mini Tiger

By Joyce Dunbar and Lara Jones

I’m not scary! and I won’t bite!

By Rod Campbell

View our book blog at

Room on the Broom – Colouring Book

By Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler (Macmillan Children’s Books, R85) The award-winning duo, Donaldson and Scheffler, have released this fun activity book based on the original Room on the Broom story, which was translated into 21 languages.

But this is more than just a colouring-in book – children can paint, draw, join the dots, complete words and copy pictures too. Scheffler’s illustrations are again a winner and your child will love the good-natured witch – warts and all – and all the quirky animals.

Over the Rainbow

By Eric Puybaret, E.Y. Harburg, Harold Arlen and Judy Collins

star book

(Macmillan Children’s Books, R147) Few songs have created as many memories and magic for children of all ages than Arlen and Harburg’s “Over the Rainbow”. Now this classic has been transformed for a new generation.

Acclaimed painter Eric Puybaret has conjured up this marvellous fantasy, which will transport you and your child from a little red farmhouse, to castles in the clouds or wherever your imagination wants to go. While you look and dream, listen to the CD (included) recorded by the Grammy award-winner Judy Collins. The other two songs on the CD are “White Coral Bells” and “I see the Moon”.

for early graders Chameleons are Cool

By Martin Jenkins and Sue Shields (Walker Books, R90) This book is part of the Read and Discover series, which aims to encourage children to learn about the world as they learn to read. Children as young as five will enjoy finding out about these lizards, thanks to the colourful and fun illustrations by Shields. What child wouldn’t be interested in these grumpy, pocketsized, swivel-eyed, colour-changing and long-tongued sharpshooters? Martin Jenkins has managed to give informative titbits about these creatures in a way that even pre-schoolers can understand. Other books in the series include Think of Beaver and River Story.

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Judy Moody’s Way Wacky Uber Awesome Book of More Fun Stuff to Do

By Megan McDonald and Peter H. Reynolds (Walker Books, R130) Girls aged six to nine just love Judy Moody and in this book they can join Judy in wacky activities. They can take the Judy Moody personality quiz to find out if they’re more like Judy or her little brother, Stink, or find out what Judy Moody’s name is in other languages.

There are tips on how to walk through paper and invent your own board game. Other fun activities include how to make pop art, testing your Judy Moody knowledge, turning your name into a poem plus word searches and riddles. magazine durban

for us

for early graders

Lose the Business Plan – What they don’t Teach You about being an Entrepreneur

By Allon Raiz

Mighty Mount Kilimanjaro

By Geronimo Stilton (Scholastic, R70) Geronimo Stilton runs a newspaper, but his true passion is writing adventure stories. In New Mouse City, the capital of Mouse Island, his books are all bestsellers.

This time, Geronimo’s super-sporty friend, Bruce Hyena, has convinced him to go on another extreme adventure. They are going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

The Geronimo Stilton series is based on the popular television programme, and children aged eight to 12 will enjoy going on adventures with all the Stiltons – Geronimo’s sister, Thea, his awful joker cousin, Trap, and his favourite nephew, Benjamin.

(Pan Macmillan, R119) Allon Raiz is a successful entrepreneur who was awarded the role of Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum in 2008. In this book, Raiz shares the lessons he has learnt and seen others learn on the road to business success.

Readers will be able to recognise whether they have what it takes to follow this path and find the skills most needed for entrepreneurial success. Raiz has made a business out of growing entrepreneurs and he knows that success is not about the business plan, but about the entrepreneur.

The Tea Lords

By Hella S. Haasse

for preteens and teens Ottoline at Sea

By Chris Riddell

Fact Finder

By Helen Lewis (Metz Press, R165) This book is a treasure trove of knowledge for children aged eight to 12. It’s a funfilled collection of facts and a reference book integrating all areas of the national curriculum: Arts and Culture, Economic Management Sciences, Language, Life Orientation, Mathematics, Natural Sciences, Social Sciences and Technology. In addition to the basic information taught at school, each section contains loads of interesting asides, references to websites and other sources of information. There are also suggestions for fun things to do and places to visit. With over 600 photographs and illustrations, Fact Finder is a great companion for your child when doing projects, studying or for satisfying their hunger for information.

(Macmillan Children’s Books, R102) This is the third Ottoline story from award-winning and bestselling author Chris Riddell. Ottoline and Mr Munroe do everything and go everywhere together. That is, until the day Mr Munroe mysteriously disappears leaving a strange clue written in string… Armed with her Amateur Roving Collectors’ travel pass, Ottoline sets off on a journey over, under and on top of the sea to find her hairy best friend, and bring him back home. The book comes with bog goggles to help your child see Ottoline’s world more clearly.

The Ottoline series is very popular among young children, and includes Ottoline goes to School and Ottoline and the Yellow Cat.

Running Wild

By Michael Morpurgo (HarperCollins Children’s Books, R130) When 10-year-old Will’s father dies in Iraq, his mother surprises him with a trip to Indonesia. But little could she have known what would await them both there.

Will realises that something is wrong when Oona, the elephant he is riding along the beach, begins to spook.

Then, suddenly, she takes off into the jungle with Will on her back. And that’s when tsunami hits. With his mother almost certainly drowned, and nothing to cling to but an elephant, Will faces a terrifying future. This is another epic and heart-rending adventure by Morpurgo.

magazine durban

the la c ssic

(Portobello Books, R215) Based on documents and correspondence archived in the Netherlands, Haasse created this compelling piece of innovative historical fiction. The story stretches over several decades in the life of the conscientious eldest son Rudolf Kerkhoven and his struggle to develop a tea plantation in the Dutch colony Java, now Indonesia. He moves from plantation to plantation, attempting to understand the ways of the local people, their version of Islam and their relationship to their land. The Tea Lords transports the reader to the East Indies, into colonial culture and into the lives of complex characters, craftily constructed by Haasse. The Tea Lords is an acclaimed Dutch masterpiece at last translated into English.

A Watermelon, a Fish and a Bible

By Christy Lefteri (Quercus, R153) It is July 1974 and the Turkish army has invaded the town of Kyrenia in Cyprus. The story focuses on a young woman, Koki, who has been shunned by the villagers because they never believed she was her father’s daughter (and her mother died too soon to quiet their wagging tongues). And when she becomes pregnant and there’s no sign of a husband, her fate is sealed. The other lead character is Adem Berker who finds himself back in Kyrenia, his former home, now as a member of the invading force. This book is powerfully written – Lefteri has received rave reviews for this her debut novel.

parenting book an ep ic tale

The Adolescent Storm

By Meg Fargher and Helen Dooley (Penguin Group SA, R195) Both highly qualified professionals, Dooley and Fargher have a wealth of experience in understanding adolescents and are actively involved in consulting to parents on conflict management and parenting issues. In The Adolescent Storm, they give you clearer insight into healthy, ageappropriate adolescent development. The book will also help you understand and enjoy the process of guiding your adolescent through these stormy years. It gives advice on how to enjoy a deeply connected and relevant relationship with your child from adolescence into adulthood. Thoughtful, not perfect, parents can create thoughtful adolescents and in turn thoughtful, responsible adults who are well integrated in society.

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calendar

what’s on in april

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Things to do, places to go, ways to give back, talks and exhibitions plus loads of fun for the whole family. compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

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special events

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only for parents

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bump, baby & tot in tow

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how to help

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SPECIAL EVENTS

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FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Fun motor skills development classes Develop fine and gross motor skills.

Neil Diamond Join this musical legend as he tours South Africa.

The Small Beginnings birth preparation course Prepares couples for pregnancy and parenting.

Blankets 4 Happy Babes Help make babies happy by providing them with the essentials.

April 2011

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Mummenschanz The masters of make believe transform everyday objects into fascinating creatures.

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calendar

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 friday 1on1 Events/Sunday Tribune Easter Show A variety of exhibitions, from food to children’s goodies. Ends 3 April. Time: Friday and Saturday 9am–9pm, Sunday 9am–6pm. Venue: 1on1 Events and Conference Centre, Gateway. Cost: adults R20, children R10. Contact: 031 564 8338 or pr@take-note.co.za Rugby Festival Schools from all over the country compete. SA Rugby Legends Association hosts a coaching clinic. Festival ends 6 April. Coaching clinic 4 April. Time: clinic 1pm. Venue: Durban North College.

Cost: varies. Contact: 031 564 1347

1 April – Rugby Festival

2 saturday Sense-Able Baby Seminar with Sister Ann Richardson The author of Baby Sense talks to parents of babies (from birth to one year old) about being sensible with

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newborns. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: Westville Country Club, Link Rd, Westville.

Cost: R200. Contact Debbie: 082 467 8236, orders@toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za

fri

5 tuesday Neil Diamond live Join this musical legend as he tours South Africa. Luxury suite packages available. Time: 8pm.

Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Stamford Hill. Cost: R150–R575. For suite packages contact: 031 582 8238 or hospitalitysales@ msdurban.co.za or book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Reality Bites Aaron McIlroy and Lisa Bobbert take a hilarious look at the phenomenon that is reality television.

Ends 1 May. Time: Tuesday–Saturday 7pm, Sunday 12:30pm. Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za

Quiksilver Pro and Quiksilver King of the Groms Surfing competitions for juniors, and for under 12s, 14s and 16s. Ends 24 April.

Time: varies. Venue: North Beach, Durban. Cost: varies. For more info: visit quikprojunior.com

6 wednesday

8 friday

Mummenschanz Masters of make believe astound audiences by transforming everyday objects into fascinating creatures.

Quirky creatures emerge from toilet rolls, cardboard boxes and masking tape to portray everyday scenes. Ends 10 April. Time: Wednesday–Saturday 8pm, also Saturday 2:30pm, Sunday 3pm. Venue: Playhouse Opera Theatre, Durban CBD. Cost: R74– R249. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Rockin’ Thru’ Time Upbeat show celebrating the musical legends of the last five decades. Also 9–10, 15–17 April.

Time: 8pm, Saturday 9 April 3pm, Sunday 6:30pm. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Umbilo. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Toptots Easter egg hunt and tea garden Children up to 4 years can play on the jumping castle and search for eggs while moms relax with tea and muffins. RSVP

for catering. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: 3A Queens Crescent, Forest Hills. Cost: adults R20, children R10. Contact Natalie: 072 348 9907 or nats@toptots.co.za

9 saturday Visions from the Nile A belly dance extravaganza, with professional ballroom and Latin-American dancers. Time: 8pm. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R80. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

magazine durban

12 tuesday

18 monday

Small Beginnings birth preparation course Six-week course preparing couples for pregnancy, birth, and parenting a newborn. Ends 17 May. Time: 7pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Junior Junction, 69 Stirling Crescent, Durban North. Cost: R1 100. Contact: 083 655 8469 or smalltalk@iafrica.com

Lucky Egg Spot Easter competition Stand a chance to win prizes during the week. Build-A-Bear Workshop is celebrating Easter with an in-store game, to be played at random times and those in the store can win. Ends 24 April. Time: store trading hours.

Venue: Build-A-Bear Workshop, Gateway Theatre of Shopping or The Pavilion. Cost: free entry. Contact: bearemy@buildabear. co.za or visit buildabear.co.za

16 saturday SAMBA KZN Easter egg hunt Families with multiples are invited to a regional Easter egg hunt. Time: 10am. Venue: The Birches Pre-Primary, Sarnia. Cost: free. Contact Vicki: 083 458 0406, kzn@samultiplebirth. co.za or visit samultiplebirth.co.za The Bell’s Fort Nottingham Highland and Traditional Games For fans of haggis, caber tossing and bagpipes. With dancing, a tug-of-war, food and drinks, you won’t want to miss this day. Time: 8:40am–4:30pm. Venue: Fort Nottingham, Midlands. Cost: adults R50, scholars R20.

Contact: 083 227 2376

19 tuesday The Sixties’ Summer of Love A musical tribute to the decade of The Beatles and others. Ends 29 May. Time: varies. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R90– R125. Contact: 031 566 3045 or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

magazine durban

21 thursday Splashy Fen This popular music festival, with acts like Ard Matthews and Boo, became more family friendly, with a family campsite and comedy tent. Children 2–12 years can visit the Children’s Centre and join in Easter activities, interactive drumming, storytelling and more. Ends 25 April. Time: Children’s Centre 9am–4pm, childminding service 7pm–10pm. Venue: Underberg. Cost: R500, children 4–11 years R125. Contact: 031 563 0824 or visit splashyfen.co.za

The Chilli Boy A comical story of an old Indian woman reincarnated as a white gangster from Boksburg. Ends 1 May. Time: Friday–Saturday 8pm, Sunday 6pm. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, University of KwaZulu-Natal, Glenwood. Cost: R60– R120. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

22 friday Hot pots and hot cross buns Zulu Zen potter Andrew Walford hosts his Easter exhibition. Refreshments available. Ends 25 April. Time: 10:30am–5pm. Venue: Walford Pottery, Shongweni Valley. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 031 769 1363, 082 794 7796 or visit andrewwalford.co.za Easter fun at Heritage Market Pony rides, face painting, carousel swings and making Easter bunnies and masks. Magician Arthur Reed entertains at 12pm. Ends 23 April. Time: 10am–2pm. Venue: Heritage Market, 9 Old Main Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 765 2500

23 saturday

17 sunday Juicy Lucy Classic Offers something for everyone, with a mountain bike ride, trail run, or family experience. Children can join the 10km Milky Lane Kid’s Ride.

Time: registration 5am. Venue: Mid Illovo Farmer’s Club, Midlands. Cost: varies.

Contact: 033 326 1022, info@roag.co.za or visit roag.co.za

Tina Turner – Simply the Best Celebrating the legend that is Tina Turner. Ends 24 April. Time: 8pm, Sunday 3pm. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti.

Cost: R190. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

22 April – Hot pots and hot cross buns

World Book Day Build a love of reading in children by visiting a book store or reading a book. Books2you hosts book fairs throughout April. Time: varies. Venue: 12–14 April Westville Junior Primary, 14 April Pitlochry Senior Primary, 19–20 April Gordon Road Girls’ School. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 082 907 1573, info@books2you. co.za or visit books2you.co.za

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Drumkidz

30 saturday Mongoose Primary Schools mountain bike series Experienced and entry level school mountain bikers can join in this series, which aims to encourage mountain bike racing. Various age categories available. Time: 1pm. Venue: Epworth School, Pietermaritzburg. Cost: entrance fee R30. Contact André: 082 336 7149 or andre@hps.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science artSPACE “Inspiration”, a DAG Archive show 28 March–16 April. Time: Monday– Friday 10am–4pm, Saturday and holidays 10am–1pm. Venue: artSPACE, 3 Millar Rd, Durban. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 0793 or visit artspace-durban.com Phezulu Village Experience Zulu culture with the Gasa clan. Entry includes crocodile and snake park visits. Open daily from 8am–4:30pm. Dancing at 10am, 11:30am, 2pm and 3:30pm. Venue: Old Main Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: R90, optional game drive every hour R120. For more info: visit phezulusafaripark.co.za

classes, talks and workshops Dharma for Kids teaches love, compassion and wisdom. For children 5–12 years and parents. 3 April. Time: 10am–11am. Venue: Mahasiddha Buddhist Centre, 2 Hollings Rd, Malvern. Cost: R10. Contact: 031 464 0984, info@meditateindurban.org or visit meditateindurban.org

Drumkidz Djembe drum sessions get children drumming to stories and songs. Offering eight lessons per term.

For children 5–7 years every Tuesday, and 3–5 years every Wednesday. Time: 3pm–3:30pm. Venue: Gillitts. Cost: 8 lessons R295. Contact Robynne: 083 631 6064, robynne@drumkidz.co.za or visit drumkidz.co.za Extreme dance classes Hip-hop and freestyle dancing for children 4–17 years old. Time: varies depending on age. Venue: 62 Winston Churchill Dr, Pinetown. Cost: varies. Contact Bronwyn: 083 727 3243, bronwyn@extremedance.co.za or visit extremedance.co.za Fine Young Cooks Offers cooking lessons for children, covering kitchen safety, cooking techniques and recipes. For children 4–12 years. Time: varies. Venue: Ballito. Cost: nine-week term R585, lesson R70. Contact Laurinda: 083 303 6055 or Lewaine: 082 378 1912 or lewaine@tiscali.co.za Holistic Healing for Kids Focuses on mindnastics, building self-esteem and improving concentration. Time: Monday– Saturday 2pm. Venue: North Beach, Durban. Cost: R200. Contact Rookaya: 031 332 9724 or rookayavawda@mweb.co.za Kidz Nosh Cooking classes with Rania from Nosh. 4 and 8 April. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: 10 Eskotene Rd, Everton. Cost: R100. Contact: 082 836 8112 or ttr@mweb.co.za New Daisy Arts Studio Drawing skills, painting and sculpture lessons for anyone 6 years and older. Time: call to enquire.

Venue: 65 Ethelbert Rd, Malvern. Cost: varies. Contact: 073 540 9210 or daniella. hartman@gmail.com Sugar Me cake decorating courses Learn icing techniques, make 3D cakes, cookies and more. Courses, workshops and one-on-one lessons available for anyone 6 years and older. Time: Monday 5pm–7pm, Wednesday 2pm–4pm and Saturday 8am–10am. Venue: Monday and Wednesday Broadway Methodist Church, Saturday The Boma, Durban North. Cost: varies. Contact Renee or Maria: 076 302 3396 or sugarme@rdesigns.co.za

family outings Fabulous Flavours Moms can enjoy a cappuccino while their toddlers play in the safe, indoor play area. Time: Monday– Friday 7:30am–4pm, Saturday–Sunday

1000 Hills Bird Park

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The Animal Farmyard Offers daily milking demonstrations, the chance to bottle feed newborn animals, and enjoy pony rides and the foefie slide. Time: open daily 9am–4:30pm, milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill.

Cost: entry R12, rides R5. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za

holiday activities

Moses Mabhida Stadium Various, fun family activities on offer. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Masabalala Yengwa Ave, Stamford Hill. Cost: SkyCar adults R50, children 6–12 years R25, Big Swing R595, professional tour R75, general tour adults R20, children 6–12 years R15. Contact: 031 582 8242 or visit mosesmabhidastadium.co.za

8am–2pm. Venue: The Well, Albertina Way, Ballito. Contact: 032 946 1527, 082 657 4170, kids@fabulousflavours.co.za or visit fabulousflavours.co.za Horseback beach adventures Ride along the beach or through the bush. Pony rides on Saturday and Sunday. Time: Friday– Wednesday 3pm. Venue: 501 Reunion Rd, Isipingo. Cost: R250–R350. Contact: 084 467 0752 or horsebackbeachadventures@gmail. com or visit horsebackbeachadventures. bravehost.com The Inchanga Choo Choo Travels through the Valley of 1000 Hills to Inchanga. 24 April. Time: departure 8:30am or 12:30am. Venue: Stoker’s Arms, Kloof Station. Cost: adults R150, children R120. Contact: 087 808 7715, 082 353 6003 or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za uShaka Kids World Spend the day visiting Black Skulls Treasure Cave and Rayz Gold Diggers. For children 2–10 years. Tiny tots and parents also catered for. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World.

Cost: R40, adults free. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play 1000 Hills Bird Park Home to rare and exotic birds. Now featuring a new 150m zip line. Time: Tuesday–Sunday 8am–4pm.

Venue: 1 Clement Stott Rd, Botha’s Hill.

Cost: adults R25, children R15. Contact: 072 927 8242 or visit 1000hillsbirdpark.co.za Crocodile Creek You’ll find 7 000 types of crocodiles. Open daily. Time: 9am–5pm; guided tours at 10am, 11:30am, 12:30pm, 2pm and 3pm; feedings at 11am and 3pm.

Venue: Tongaat. Cost: adults R50, children 11–18 years R30, 4–10 years R20. Contact: 032 944 3845 or visit crocodilecreek.net Duck and Deck animal farm A chance for children to touch, feel and interact with animals. Closed Monday. Time: 9:30am–4pm. Venue: 3 Willow Way, Assagay. Cost: R15. Contact: 031 768 1029 or visit duckanddeck.co.za magazine durban

Fun motor skills development classes Run by an occupational therapist; designed to develop fine and gross motor skills in ageappropriate groups. For children 4–9 years.

Time: varies according to age. Venue: Kerry Evett’s rooms, Reys Business Park, Ballito.

Cost: gross motor skills, drama and music classes R50, fine motor skills and crafts R75.

Contact: 071 143 6466 King’s Camp holiday camp A week of fun and adventure, where children can explore sports and activities, make friends and enjoy their holiday in safe surroundings. For children 4–10 and 11–14 years old. 11–15 April. Time: 8am–3:30pm.

Venue: Highbury Preparatory School, Hillcrest. Cost: from R400. Contact: 031 100 1011, info@sa.kingscamps.org or visit sa.kingscamps.org Little Chefs Easter baking Children from 4 years can join in the fun in the kitchen. Price includes ingredients and a hot dog. 5–7 April. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: 6 Sackville Place, Durban North. Cost: R100 per day. Contact Linda: 082 836 9365 Science on a farm Interactive activities where children learn about life on the farm, with activities like “Science of Soil” and “Animal Sounds”. 2–10 April.

Time: 11am–2pm. Venue: Old Mutual MTN Sciencentre, Gateway. Cost: adults R25, children R29. Contact: 031 566 8040, info@sciencentre.co.za or visit gatewaysciencecentre.co.za Star Anise cooking classes Fun children’s cooking classes. A parent must accompany 2–3 year olds, 4–12 year olds can be dropped off. Classes are 1½ hours long. 4–6 April. Time: varies depending on age group. Venue: Star Anise, Heritage Market, 9 Old Main Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: R120 per lesson. Contact: 079 174 5621 or staranise@telkomsa.net Sugar Bay Offers five funky themed camps during April, from The Flintstones to Marshmellow Mania. For children 7–17 years. Camps last from 5–7 days. Venue: Zinkwazi Beach, North Coast. Cost: five days R2 345, seven days R2 999. Contact: 032 485 3778 or holidays@sugarbay.co.za

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The food market

markets Essenwood Market Fresh food, children’s activities and a range of stalls.

Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Essenwood Rd. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com Farmer’s Market Non-refrigerated fresh produce on sale at numerous stalls. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: Jimmy Bellows Sports Field, Westville (Thursday), Autumn Dr, Umhlanga (Wednesday), Amanzimtoti Sports Club (Tuesday). Contact Rob: 082 413 1887

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Golden Hours Family Market Fundraising initiative of Golden Hours Special School.

Time: 10am–3:30pm, every Sunday. Venue: Uitsig Rd, Durban North. Cost: free entry.

Contact Lyn: 083 262 3693 i heart market Food and design market showcasing locally produced crafts, food and fresh veggies. 2 April. Time: 9am–2pm.

Venue: DLI Hall, 5 DLI Ave, Greyville. Contact: 079 496 4788 or thejoyteam@gmail.com Our Country Market Natural, fresh produce and a range of other stalls. Petting animal farm and pony rides available for children. Last Sunday of every month.

Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: The Heritage Market, Hillcrest. Contact: 031 765 2500 Shongweni Farmer’s and Craft Market Gourmet food, organic and local produce and crafts. Time: 6:30am–10am, every Saturday. Venue: cnr Kassier and Alverstone Rds, Assagay. Contact: 083 777 1674 or info@shongwenimarket.co.za The food market For locally produced coffee, cheese, breads, children’s corner, mini flower market and tea garden.

30 April. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: The Hellenic Community Centre, Durban North. Contact: 083 777 5633 or visit thefoodmarket.co.za The Litchi Orchard Farmer’s Market Covered market featuring live music and a children’s playground. First and third Saturday of every month. Time: 9am–1pm.

Venue: Seaforth Ave, Foxhill. Contact: 084 205 6151 or jeremy@litchiorchard.co.za

The Riverside Market Offers high-quality products. Proceeds go to local charities. First Sunday of every month. Time: 10am–3pm.

Venue: northern entrance of Scottburgh, Scottburgh River mouth. Contact Sue or Tony: 039 975 3893

on stage and screen Mummenschanz Quirky creatures emerge from toilet rolls, cardboard boxes and masking tape to portray everyday scenes.

6–10 April. Time: Wednesday–Saturday 8pm, also Saturday 2:30pm, Sunday 3pm.

Venue: Playhouse Opera Theatre, Durban CBD. Cost: R74–R249. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Old Mutual Music at the Lake Family picnic concert, featuring Chris Chameleon.

6 March. Time: 2:30pm. Venue: Sydenham Rd entrance, Durban Botanic Gardens,

Playball

Berea. Cost: early birds R80, on concert day R100, children 6–12 years R20. Contact: 031 309 1170 or visit durbanbotanicgardens. org.za or book through ticketbreak.co.za Rockin’ Thru’ Time Celebrates the musical legends of the last five decades.

8–10, 15–17 April. Time: 8pm, Saturday 9 April 3pm, Sunday 6:30pm. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Umbilo. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com The Sixties Summer of Love 19 April–29 May. Time: varies. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: Wednesday– Saturday R125, Tuesday night and matinee R90. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

playtime and story time Books and Books children’s story time Time: 10am, every Saturday. Venue: shop 42, Kensington Square, 53 Kensington Dr, Durban North. Cost: free. Contact: 031 563 6288 or booksandbooks@telkomsa.net Children’s story time A story followed by a craft or activity. For ages 3–8 years. Time: 10am, every Saturday. Venue: 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Clamber Club Jungle gym, hoops, sandpit and more. Time: 12pm–4:30pm, every Friday. Venue: Hellenic Community Centre, High Grove Rd, Durban North. Cost: R20.

Contact Michaela: 074 101 2616

magazine durban

on stage and screen

Playball Parents can enjoy coffee or the art shop, while children play in the garden. Time: Monday–Friday 8am–4pm. Venue: Old Main Rd, Hillcrest.

Cost: varies. Contact Kim: 031 765 8780 or 083 630 5110 Steam train rides Ride a miniature steam engine at the Durban Society of Model Engineers. Second and fourth Sunday of every month. Playground and tea/coffee are available. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 per ride.

Contact: 083 284 6469

sport and physical activities Blue Horizons horse trails and riding school Offers riding lessons, pony camps and trail rides for children from 3 years and older. Time: by appointment.

Venue: Drummond. Cost: four lessons R570. Contact Debbie: 083 269 4945, debbie@bluehorizonsestate.co.za or visit bluehorizonsestate.co.za Durban Ice Rink Open seven days a week, with five skate sessions daily. Don’t forget to take socks. Time: varies. Venue: 81 Somtseu Rd, Durban CBD. Cost: R40 (includes skate hire). Contact: 031 332 4597 or visit durbanicerink.co.za Suncoast Multisport multi-series For athletes and families, including triathlon and duathlon events. 3 April. Time: 6am.

Venue: Sundeck, Suncoast Casino, Durban beach. Cost: R130, rookie events R80.

Contact: 031 564 4062 or visit beactiv.biz

magazine durban

3 April – Suncoast Multisport multi-series

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Beginners’ belly dancing courses for anyone 12 years and older. Time: varies depending on venue. Venues: Glenwood, La Lucia, Morningside, Westville. Cost: eight-week course R440. Contact Senta: 082 829 3658, senta@mayadance.co.za or visit mayadance.co.za Childcare first-aid workshop Emergency procedures for all childcarers. Last Saturday of every month. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: New Era House, 6 Joseph Ave, Glen Anil.

Cost: R500. Contact Kate: 083 271 5127 or durban@edubabe.co.za

Edu-Maid child stimulation course allows domestic helpers to upgrade and broaden existing skills. Time: Monday– Friday 8:30am–12pm. Venue: Sunningdale.

Cost: R350. Contact Eleanor: 031 572 4313 or 084 821 6668 Letting Go meditation course Free yourself from the daily baggage of stress and anxiety. 17 April. Time: 9:30am–12:45pm.

Venue: 323 Innis Rd, Morningside. Cost: R100. Contact: 031 464 0984 or info@ meditateindurban.org Meryl’s School of Cooking offers culinary courses. Time: 9:30am–11am, 5:30pm–8pm. Venue: 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 764 6577 or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za

Neil Diamond live Join this musical legend as he tours South Africa, singing hits such as “Sweet Caroline” and others.

5 April. Time: 8pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Stamford Hill. Cost: R150–R575.

For suite packages: 031 582 8238 or hospitalitysales@msdurban.co.za or book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Reality Bites Looks at the phenomenon that is reality television. 5 April–1 May. Time: Tuesday–Saturday 7pm, Sunday 12:30pm. Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za The Chilli Boy An old Indian woman is reincarnated as a white gangster. 21 April–1 May. Time: Friday–Saturday 8pm, Sunday 6pm. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, University of KwaZulu-Natal, Glenwood. Cost: R60–R120. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Tina Turner – Simply the Best Celebrating Tina Turner. 19–24 April. Time: 8pm, Sunday 3pm. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R190. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Visions from the Nile A belly dance extravaganza. 9 April. Time: 8pm. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti.

Cost: R80. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

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Toptots Children from 8 weeks–4 years can join an age-appropriate class to learn and play. Time: varies. Venues: branches are in Durban North, Ballito, Kloof, Hillcrest, Westville and Hilton. Cost: about R810 per term. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, info@toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za

support groups ADHASA Support Groups for adult and child ADHD. Meetings are irregular, but for more information, contact Stuart: 031 298 8896 or Robin: 082 499 1344 Al-Anon and Alateen Support groups for those affected by drinking. Alateen is for younger relatives or friends of alcoholics.

For more info or to find your nearest branch contact: 031 304 1826 or visit alanon.org.za CANSA Support Durban North for survivors, relatives and friends. Second Tuesday of every month. Venue: Durban North Methodist Church hall. Contact: 031 564 2510 (for CANSA support groups in other areas call 031 205 9525) Childhood cancer parent support group CHOC schedules regular support meetings. Contact Gill: 084 831 3683 or visit choc.org.za Childline works to protect children, offer counselling to abuse victims, educate and train. Call the toll-free line at any time on 0800 055 555 or visit childlinesa.org.za Compassionate Friends Support group for family and friends who have lost a loved one. Fourth Sunday of every month. Venue: ABSA premises, 20 Hunter St, Durban CBD. Time: 3pm–5pm. Contact: 031 335 0463 or 082 458 3663 Depression and Anxiety South Africa for depression, trauma, bipolar disorder, and other mood and anxiety disorders. Call the national helpline on 0800 20 51 21 for referral to the relevant support group Diabetes South Africa A non-profit organisation is funded to be a support and advocate for all people suffering from diabetes. Contact: 0861 222 717 or durban@diabetessa.co.za Down Syndrome Association KZN Intuthuko Support Group meeting for those with Down’s syndrome and their families. Third Saturday of every month.

Venue: Anglican Church Hall, Umbilo Rd. Contact: 076 978 9811 or the office: 031 464 2055 FAMSA Offers family and relationship counselling, parenting guidance, conflict resolution and more. Contact: 031 202 8987 or visit 30 Bulwer Rd, Glenwood

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Hi Hopes Offers support and information to families of babies with hearing loss.

Contact Cheryl: 082 447 1142, cheryl. devnath@gmail.com or visit wits.ac.za/ Humanities/Education/Deaf+Studies/ HIHOPES Hoping is Coping Nationwide support groups for those newly diagnosed with cancer and their family members. Contact: 011 646 5628, lgold@icon.co.za or visit cansa.org.za Reach for Recovery Breast Cancer Support Group Meets for bring-andshare morning teas. Contact: 031 205 9525 or 072 248 0008 SADAG South African Depression and Anxiety Group offers assistance to those suffering from depression or drug abuse or who may be suicidal. For more information or referral to a support group: visit sadag.co.za Speak Easy Support group for those who stutter, their family and friends.

Contact Imraan: 082 786 3718 or visit speakeasy.org.za The KZN Cerebral Palsy Association Has a diary of a mother with a cerebral palsied child. Other parents, family or friends of those with cerebral palsy can find support and understanding there.

For more info: visit kzncerebralpalsy.co.za/ diary.php We Help You Cope cancer support group covers a range of topics from nutrition to spiritual needs. Time: 5:30pm–7pm, every Thursday. Venue: The Boardroom, Netcare Parklands Hospital, 75 Hopelands Rd, Overport. Contact Bernice: 031 242 4129 or Bernice.

PrevostDeLangristin@netcare.co.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Baby Bond Workshop Structured baby massage training course. Time: 10:30am–12:30pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Limelight Spa, 15 Bedale Rd, Malvern. Cost: R800 for four sessions. Contact Jaycie: 033 463 1044, 082 450 5332, limelightspa@ telkomsa.net or visit spalimelight.co.za

Pregnancy Yoga Teaches beneficial postures, relaxation and breathing techniques for pregnancy. Time: Wednesday 3pm, Saturday 10am. Venue: Centre for Well-being, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R170. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za Sense-Able Baby Seminar with Sister Ann Richardson The author of Sleep Sense and Baby Sense talks to parents of babies (birth to 1 year old) about being sensible with newborns. 2 April. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: Westville Country Club, Link Rd, Westville. Cost: R200. Contact Debbie: 082 4678236, orders@toptots. co.za or visit toptots.co.za Small Beginnings birth preparation course Six-week course prepares couples for pregnancy, birth and parenting a newborn. 12 April–17 May. Time: 7pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Junior Junction, 69 Stirling Crescent, Durban North. Cost: R1 100. Contact Sister Des Meyer: 083 655 8469 or smalltalk@iafrica.com

playtime and story time Moms and Tots and Moms and Babes workshops Interactive programmes designed to build relationships through play and fun activities with educational toys, messy play, movement with music, action songs, story time and more. Time: varies.

Venues: branches in Umhlanga, Durban North, the Highway area and Glenwood.

Cost: varies. Contact: info@momsandtots. co.za or visit momsandbabes.co.za or momsandtots.co.za Muslimahs and Tots workshops Interactive programmes designed to build relationships through play, geared specifically towards Muslim parents.

Time: Monday 9:30am–12pm. Venue: 59 Milkwood Dr, Umhlanga. Cost: R600 per term. Contact: 031 561 6615, 084 478 6322 or visit muslimahsandtots.co.za

support groups La Leche Worldwide breastfeeding support organisation. There are currently no meetings in KwaZulu-Natal, but for breastfeeding support and questions contact Jane: 031 309 1801 or visit llli.org/ southafrica Moms and Babes support group meets monthly for a talk. 8 April. Time: 9am–10:30am. Venue: Alberlito Hospital, Ballito. Cost: free. Contact: 032 946 6956 or 032 946 1826 Postnatal Depression Support Association of South Africa No support groups are meeting currently, but for support, contact the National Helpline: 082 882 0072 or visit pndsa.co.za The South African Multiple Birth Association Support group for families with multiples. Contact for counselling: 082 338 2625, kzn@samultiplebirth.co.za or visit samultiplebirth.co.za

For more support groups visit childmag.co.za/resources/supportgroups

how to help Animal Action is committed to rehabilitating dogs and finding new homes for them. If you’re looking for a dog, you can adopt one of the adult dogs or a puppy. They also need help in the form of volunteers to check homes or to help with the dogs, or donations of puppy food, blankets and other doggy goods. For more info: visit animalaction.org.za Blankets 4 Happy Babes This charity project helps make more babies happy by providing them with the essentials. They need donations (in good condition) of new or secondhand baby clothes, blankets, towels and toys plus new toiletries and nappies. Donations are delivered in baby bags to mothers at Addington Hospital. For more info contact Jacqui: 082 886 1725 or blankets4happybabes@gmail.com Childline KZN Educational Booklet A resource for parents to help their children work through issues such as peer pressure and self-esteem in a fun way.

Proceeds go to Childline. Books are R10. To purchase copies contact: 031 312 0904 or administration@childlinekzn.org.za Hirsch’s Book Drive Hirsch is collecting used and new books to help fill the library of Focus on iThemba, a Place of Hope, where orphaned children can find a home and an education. Books can be dropped at Hillcrest Hirsch’s on Old Main Rd. For more info contact: 079 897 8981 or sarah@ hirschs.co.za Sugar Babes Foundation Provides social support for all children with diabetes in KwaZulu-Natal by hosting camps. They keep an up-to-date database of these children. To update the database, or for donations contact Mrs Ngcobo: 072 695 3416 or sgrbbfoundation@gmail.com Hirsch’s Book Drive

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za or fax it to 031 207 3429. Information must be received by 8 April for the May issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

magazine durban

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

magazine durban

April 2011

33

last laugh

do you have an SBF? In today’s world everybody needs a Suburban

r

Joe, Sam and Benj

aising children and running a happy home is tricky.

Not because it’s not fun or wildly interesting and diverting, but because it takes up so much time. And most of us, rather than having a village, have full-time jobs.

So we all find help where we can. Many have partners to share the load or extended families who help out, and lift clubs and really good teachers and sports coaches and au pairs and fairy godparents and of course, that muchmaligned but stalwart babysitter, the television.

But last year, I stumbled across a new category of global village support: the Suburban Best Friend (SBF).

I’ve had a GBF (Gay Best Friend) for many years. His penchant for iridescent cocktails, manic dancing and making loved ones sparkle (both literally and figuratively) has been a fabulous help through the sleepless nappied

years, when you just need a break and someone to make you feel fun and beautiful for a few hours.

But now GBF Bryan has also settled down, my sons have chosen him as a Fairy Godfather and we are more likely to be found playing elaborate German board games curled up in my lounge than tripping the light fantastic up and down town.

At this stage of my life, with school lifts and beach camping trips, sleepovers, wet towels and mouldy lunchboxes, in has sashayed Rosie, the SBF. How do you tell if you have an SBF? She has keys to your house and stocks the Garfield plasters your son prefers. She also tops your cellphone bill as Most Frequently Dialled. But mostly, it’s because you spend a lot of time speaking in practical, staccato Mommy Code.

Take the conversation we had last Friday morning.

“Gaah! Rosie? I have a last-minute meeting this afternoon. Any way you can pick up my sons after music?”

“Sure, 4pm, right? Then I can get my frozen food from your freezer; my electricity is working again. Hey, how about you take out the frozen lamb now, so we can cook it at your place and feed both families while you give my son a haircut?”

“Done. And I have pitas.”

“Great. Later. Love you, love your work.”

“Ditto.”

And, yes, I know many of you have easy, intertwined family relationships, but I come from Protestant stock where you don’t broadcast your domestic problems (yes, I am a bit of a breakthrough sheep in the family) and I don’t have any sisters. So this relationship is a revelation to me. And I am just hoping most of you have a Rosie in your lives too, because wow... I don’t know what I would do without her.

But you know what truly makes Rosie an SBF? The fact that last Friday night, after we had all eaten our fill of schwarmas, she leant over and said: “Hey, the husbands are watching sport happily, the children have decided to all sleep in the bedroom fort they made, why don’t we phone Bryan and go try out that new martini bar? And let’s take a taxi; I have a craving for more than three olives, if you know what I mean.”

Aah. Gotta love the BFs – in all their guises.

Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24.com, Parent24.com and Food24.com. She hopes Rosie doesn’t get creeped out by this column.

family marketplace

34

April 2011

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth

Best Friend, says SAM WILSON.