Child Magazine | Durban August 2012

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p ar e n t s

bossing, biting, lying and stealing what’s really going on?

help, my child hates her teacher

the education issue

www.childmag.co.za

August 2012

free

make a success of maths, music, reading and writing

health

43

education

doors to knock on

entertainment

Fifteen minutes of reading with your child each day can expose them to one million written words in a year.

An inspiring thought, and just one of the statistics I picked up on the Nal’ibali website, which has the sole purpose of getting children everywhere to read. Encouraging children to read is really important, but so too is reading to and with our children. It all starts with a story…

Storytelling is an art that teachers, parents and children should explore and develop, even in educationally barren parts of South Africa.

Some of my happiest moments have been watching my daughters listen to my husband telling them stories of when “he was a little girl”. Seven years apart, yet they both fell for it over and over again and would shriek with laughter. Once they had settled down, he would regale them with the naughty things he and his brother got up to as children. The thought of having a mud fight inside Granny’s pristine lounge horrified my little girls – they could picture these naughty boys running amok and their Granny’s shocked face on returning home. And so the love of stories began in our family and grew as my husband progressed to the Harry Potter series, reading them all from cover to cover, in character, twice.

We owe it to our children to help them discover the joy of storytelling. Encourage them to make up stories, write them down and tell them. At the end of each day, why not also take 15 minutes to read or tell a story? You will be giving your child so much more than just a tale…

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Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za

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to advertise Tel: 031 209 2200 • Fax: 031 207 3429 Email: dbnsales@childmag.co.za Website: childmag.co.za

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Durban’s Child magazine TM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: 1st Floor, MB House, 641 Peter Mokaba Road, Overport, 4091. Tel: 031 209 2200, fax: 031 207 3429, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Durban’s Child magazine TM .

We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles, and other editorial content, are accurate and balanced, but cannot accept responsibility for loss, damage or inconvenience that may arise from reading them.

August 2012

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contents

august 2012

upfront 3

a note from lisa

6 over to you readers respond 11 reader’s blog

Claudia Eicker-Harris says her little girl

is thrilled with having two moms 41

dad’s blog Marc de Chazal shares how his love of reading from a young age has created a life-long passion for words

42

reader’s blog even though Leonora Found’s four- year-old is a robust, sport-loving little boy, he still has a favourite doll

14 health 8 fact or folklore?

features

Lucille Kemp looks at the latest research done around parabens

14 naughty or needy?

c hildren sometimes bite, bully and steal. Glynis Horning finds out what is age-appropriate behaviour and when parents should worry

regulars 6 wins 9 upfront with paul

17 extra! extra!

don’t underestimate the value of newspapers, says Tamlyn Vincent. It’s a very useful educational tool

if you want your children to be well-behaved, you need to be the example, says Paul Kerton

18 out-the-box lunches

10 best for baby – big enough for

a big-boy bed

some of South Africa’s favourite chefs present their creative lunchbox ideas 20 deal with it

Ruth Rehbock gives you advice on what to do when your child dislikes his teacher 22 giants and mermaids there is a time and place for fairytales in a child’s education.

By Ruth Rehbock

12

when should your child move from a cot to a bed? Kim Maxwell finds out

12 dealing with difference

Lisa Lazarus looks at a genetic link to ADHD

24 resource – an added advantage

Tamlyn Vincent has compiled a list of learning centres that will help your child excel at school

28 a good read

new books for the whole family

32 what’s on in august 38 finishing touch

maternity leave is not an extended holiday, says Anél Lewis.

It’s hard work

classified ads 36 let’s party 38 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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August 2012

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

St Mary’s School grahamdelacy.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

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August 2012

5

over to you

letters

my child labelled a bully I was summoned to the principal’s office as my child was supposedly fighting with other children. I was shocked and saddened to hear that a parent called in to complain and did not want her child playing with mine, because my child was “horrible”, “nasty” and “a bully”. How can a parent judge a child without getting to know them? The other child has told my daughter that she can’t play with them anymore.

My daughter is six years old and a bit on the wild side, but will never hurt someone on purpose. Because of the situation she no longer enjoys going to school. The teacher has already punished her for fighting and now the children are punishing her. Why do we teach children to dislike one another? My child has come home with scratches after playing at school, but I have never called the school to complain about it. Children sometimes have scuffles when they play, but soon order is restored. I am not saying fighting is okay, but parents should not make it worse by interfering.

There are so many teenagers who take their own lives because of being treated as outcasts at school.

Sandra

all-in-one magazine I just picked up the latest copy of Child magazine and am so thrilled to have found such a wonderful resource to get entertainment, education, décor and other fun ideas. My daughter is turning two shortly, and I am amazed at all the creative things available out there.

Kim Bower

the dolly debate continues In reply to the letter by Ingrid Dekker, in the July issue of Child magazine: I also have a 5-year-old girl who thinks that straight, blond hair is beautiful and she believes her Afro is ugly.

I have been looking for a black doll to try and change her perceptions of herself.

Karabo Mabe There are hardly any black or coloured dollies in our toyshops. My daughter has asked me “why do all the

dollies have yellow hair? I don’t want a yellow-haired dolly, I want a brown doll.” This is the new South Africa and every little bit of change helps.

Mischka Spies I am a black woman who has searched high and low for black dolls for my eight year old daughter to no avail. I want so much for her to love her curly, kinky hair.

Gabisile

control internet access I would like to share my horrific story. A fellow classmate has sexually abused my eight-year-old daughter on play dates. It came to our attention that this girl has been accessing porn via internet searches at home and then role-playing on my daughter. Due to negligent parents, this child has now infringed on my child’s rights. My daughter is going for therapy because she is extremely uncomfortable and anxious. Please parents, pay attention.

Anonymous Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag and facebook.com/childmag.co.za

write to us Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters to:

or

comments

marina@childmag.

You can also post a comment online at

childmag.co.za

co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

giveaways in august

wins

special memories Edugrafix’s unique expandable albums provide parents with a fun, easy way to capture their children’s keepsakes and memories. The My First Years and My School Years albums provide space for photos, certificates, reports and titbits. Albums are available in 13 colours, English or Afrikaans and can be personlised. For more info: 012 361 3576 or visit edugrafixalbums.com Four readers stand a chance to each win a prestige expandable My School Years album, valued at R550. Enter via childmag.co.za/wins-dbn and use the Code “Edugrafix DBN”. Your details will be made available to Edugrafix.

love reading Bargain Books stocks a wonderful variety of titles. Children can choose from fiction titles, educational books, study guides, art and craft sets and more. A wide range is available at factory shops in Springfield and The Crescent. Contact Springfield: 031 263 1636 or The Crescent: 031 566 1365 or find your nearest branch at bargainbooks.co.za Four readers stand a chance to each win a Bargain Books voucher to the value of R500. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-dbn and use the code “Bargain Books DBN”. Your details will be made available to Bargain Books.

to enter simply visit childmag.co.za

or post your entry to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Entries close 31 August 2012. Only one entry per reader.

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August 2012

congratulations to our June winners Justeen Scott, Phillipa Verbaan, Nickie Karshagen and Shay Mercer who each win a wardrobe from Sticky Fudge; Shelley Pflugler who wins a Beatrix Potter book hamper from Penguin. The 25 readers who each won a month’s supply of SupaChewz from Arctic Health, have been notified.

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August 2012

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health

The proposed dangers of parabens may be the product of paranoia or there may be some truth to the tale, but only time and science will tell. By LUCILLE KEMP

fter asking one of the most discerning people I know when last they consciously bought a paraben-free product and I got the answer, “Never. I only heard about parabens three months ago,” I was intrigued to find out more about this fear of the preservative found in makeup, moisturisers, hair care products, shaving products, and deodorants and antiperspirants.

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA), an independent agency responsible for protecting and promoting US public health through regulating and supervising everything from foods to cosmetics, received inquiries on the safety of parabens, and after an investigation, went on record stating, “Parabens are the most widely used preservatives in cosmetic products to safeguard against microbial growth, meant to protect consumers and to maintain product integrity.”

so what of it, then?

Parabens brought about controversy when research revealed that these preservatives were found in breast cancer tumours. Some studies found that parabens have the ability to mimic a weak form of oestrogen, a hormone known to play a role in the development of breast cancer.

There’s also been concern that the oestrogen-mimicking aspect of parabens may be a factor in the increasing occurrence of early puberty in girls.

Investigations have refuted these claims and this stance was backed by the American National Cancer Institute. The

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FDA says, “Studies and reviews on the safety of parabens used in cosmetics have been conducted over the years, with particular research being carried out in December 2005 to assess the safety for women and infants being exposed to parabens, and it was determined in all these instances that parabens are safe for use in cosmetics.”

Perhaps this is true, but many researchers refer to the research as “ongoing”, leaving enough room for concern to grow. The continuous need to review the facts through safety assessments dating as far back as 1984 to as recently as 2008, may seem like a smoking gun for many.

There are, however, no natural alternatives that can do the job that parabens do. Parabens are widely used simply because they’re effective, and they’re cheap and reliable, having been used for many years.

Perusing the South African National Regulator for Compulsory Specification’s (NRCS) website, there seems to be no red flag declared on parabens nor does it come up on Cansa’s watchdog list of dangerous substances.

Professor Michael C Herbst of Cansa confirms this, saying, “Cansa’s research operations committee has not yet accepted a position statement on parabens.”

control what you can Given that medical research has us constantly progressing, seeing to it that we know more today than we did yesterday, we may be correct in inquiring. While you might

be called alarmist, you’re certainly within your rights to take precautions. Cape Town-based pharmacist Peter Kruger says while there are currently no alarm bells ringing over the presence of parabens, there is awareness out there. “It is in the legislation that companies list their ingredients, so read the labels and look for parabens in the products that you buy and avoid them if it makes you feel comfortable to do so. There are many retailers that prefer to stock natural, preservative-free products.”

In the same token, as parabens aren’t officially harmful, make informed decisions when buying so you can be sure you’ve not been duped by clever marketing tools.

what to look for The most common parabens found in cosmetics are butylparaben, ethylparaben, heptylparaben, methylparaben and propylparaben.

further reading • NRCS visit nrcs.org.za • FDA visit fda.gov • Journal of Applied Toxicology visit onlinelibrary.wiley.com

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

a

fact or folklore?

upfront with paul

synergy PAUL KERTON says that harsh discipline is not needed when you install that moral compass and practice what you parent.

t PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

he mere word “discipline” is negative.

The very need to administer it suggests bad behaviour on the part of the child and lack of control from the parents. But there is good discipline – the setting of achievable moral and practical standards, and bad discipline. Bullying Victorian house masters stalking quadrangles in dark cloaks, brandishing canes and lashing out at measly minded pupils are long gone; now it’s the polar opposite – an acute lack of any discipline that has created a rash of lawless classrooms where little teaching is going on.

As parents we need to lay out the rules of the game as determined by our particular household, age, culture and religion, and let our children know why these are important. Once they can hold

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a proper thought, children need, and deserve, to know why they shouldn’t do something and should do something else.

Most of us use an arsenal of tried and tested psychological tricks to squeeze the best out of our children – a ruthless cocktail of telling-off, blackmail, light humiliation, threats to remove privileges and the sympathy ploy: “You made Daddy feel sad”. Teachers are advised to praise the positives and suggest smart alternatives to mischievous behaviour, although good old-fashioned detention still works. It is telling that we are keen to say “No” and “Don’t” but forget praise when a child does good, and I don’t mean just winning a race. A comment like: “Thanks for being so patient with your sister”, shows you noticed and genuinely appreciated it.

The best route is to instil respect for people and property (and themselves) by providing a loving, trusting, kind family environment from the word go, with yourself, hopefully, as role model. Children are watching and imitating everything you do, so it is no surprise that the child who hits and scratches at school, experiences heavy manners at home, whether from siblings or parents. Many a preschool play session reveals alarming as well as pleasing domestic scenarios to the teacher.

I don’t buy it, but some experts feel we should never punish, although any punishment should certainly fit the crime and the age. You can’t tell a 15 year old to go and sit in the naughty chair, but you can stop them from going to their BF’s party at a nightclub... which also illustrates

how you as a parent need to adapt your parenting style as children get older.

And while you might need to scream at a toddler to stop them wandering into traffic or striding towards a hot flame, that should be followed by a big hug, not a slap across the legs, and an explanation (at any age, for that matter), that you shouted because you cared for their safety.

You can’t fault children for singlemindedly wanting to do what they want to do and exerting their personality and influence over any situation. It is, after all, the survival of the fittest. Children generally are intrinsically good and want to please. They just need a sensible road map.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad 2: From Walking to Talking (... and Beyond).

August 2012

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best for baby

big enough for a big-boy bed KIM MAXWELL explores whether there is a right time to move your child from a cot to a bed,

m

odern parenting dictates that as soon as we’ve mastered the transition from babies to toddlers, we’re allowed a short reprieve to be entertained by our blossoming little people, before we’re subtly pressured by fellow parents or family members to think about the next milestones. For toddlers, these include building vocabulary, mastering fine and gross motor skills and the biggies: tantrums, toilet training and moving from a baby cot to a big bed.

each baby is different As a parent to a happy 20-month-old son, I haven’t given much thought to the timeline for our move. We have a bed available, but my son is a good sleeper who

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seems comfy in his wooden cot. Also, his cosy extra-length baby sleeping bag keeps his body covered, but it would be impractical in a single bed. Joburg-based midwife Barbara Constantinou says that weighing up the individual needs of a toddler is important when making the move. Children’s and family’s habits aren’t universally alike. “From a year onwards children are fine to switch to a bed, but there‘s no rush,” she says. Possible triggers that spur on the move to a bed include the imminent arrival of a sibling, or a toddler that outgrows their cot or becomes more adventurous about climbing out. “A lot of bigger babies have sleeping problems because they turn and knock into the sides of the cot, waking themselves up. If they

have problems sleeping, rather move them to a bed.”

Constantinou says babies can sleep in cots until they are two years old if they are comfortable and sleep through the night. “But many two-year-olds can pull themselves right up from the sides of their cots, and might try to balance on their soft toys to get out,” she cautions.

smooth move Do move your child to a big bed if your family is expanding, but plan in advance.

Constantinou suggests making the transition two to six months before the arrival of a new baby, to ensure the older child feels settled. “If they’re under three years old, it should take less time to adapt.

But if the child is three years or older with a sibling on the way, they could be jealous of being kicked out of their bed for a new baby.” Another good time to move your child to a bed is if the family is moving house. “This is a good time to introduce a new routine as they’re going to be unsettled anyway,” says Constantinou.

Toddlers crave predictability, so maintaining a consistent bedtime pattern is important to ease them into the new bed.

Durban-based mother of two Tamsin Laight moved her son into a bed between the age of 16 and 18 months when he outgrew his cot. “He was more comfortable there, and excited about being in a bigboy bed,” she recalls. She used bed rails with both her children. Tamsin’s daughter

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PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

and what can make the transition easier.

Ella moved to a bed when she was just over one year old, as they didn’t have space to store both a cot and a bed in the room. In retrospect, Tamsin believes her daughter wasn’t emotionally ready.

“Ethan took a few nights to settle properly, and we haven’t had a problem since. Ella, on the other hand, took a few months to finally stop climbing out of her bed at night. We just kept putting her back; never in our bed, otherwise she wouldn’t get the message. I don’t know if the age difference or their different personalities caused that behaviour,” she says.

Durban-based nursing midwife Kerry Hodgson says toddlers should be sleeping through the night before the move. “It’s much easier to do sleep training in a cot than trying to sleep train and settle your child into a big bed at the same time, when they can get out of bed and come looking for you,” she warns. Make moving a happy event for your toddler; allow them to help select new bedding in their favourite theme by all means, but keep some familiar blankets or toys in the new environment.

Buying a big-bed sleep toy for the transition is another option. “Children are amazing in

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what they understand at this age so don’t ignore them during the process,” reminds Hodgson. “Explain in detail how things are going to work. Establish ground rules around waking up – do they come through to your bedroom or call you?”

And if you need to delay the big bed for practical reasons – your children are sharing a room temporarily and there isn’t space for two beds, don’t stress. Find an age-appropriate solution that’s a good

fit with your family’s living arrangements.

“If something is working for you, there’s no reason to change it and mess it up,” says Constantinou. “Only when you notice your child behaving differently, or their actions impact on others, do you have to make changes.”

safe and sound For your peace of mind, pushing the bed against the wall on one side is a

sensible and practical consideration, but Constantinou doesn’t believe special safety rails are worth spending money on.

“Children get their bearings quickly in a new bed. I’d just prop up pillows initially or push an old mattress near the bed. It takes three or four nights for most children to learn not to fall out,” she says. “Some moms worry that their toddlers are going to get out of bed, but that’s about setting boundaries around what is acceptable behaviour. Parents need to put their child back in bed, and repeat it until they learn.”

Hodgson says most children move to a bed between 18 months and two-and-ahalf years, and she is a fan of installing bed rails. “Moms come to me for consults until their children are two years old, and my cotto-bed advice is quite individual because I see moms as individuals,” she says.

for professional help For baby routine therapists that can help you in the comfort of your own home, visit, childmag. co.za/resources/home-help

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dealing with difference

mean gene LISA LAZARUS discusses the recently

f

or Tamsyn*, the most frustrating thing about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is “that feeling of your head never quite switching off.”

She should know. Like her 13-year-old son, this stay-athome Pretoria mother of two children, aged 16 and 13, also has ADHD, though Tamsyn was only diagnosed as an adult. Tamsyn knew from early, probably around the time her son started pre-school, that he suffered from ADHD. “This may sound presumptuous,” she says, “to know so soon, but I grew up in a house with an older sister who was diagnosed with ADHD. My folks didn’t simply put this down to middle-child syndrome or to being difficult or insolent. Instead, from the outset, they found help for her.”

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making the connection Although she initially believed that the condition had passed her by, Tamsyn realised that this wasn’t the case when she started doing intense therapy with her son. She says: “They asked him, ‘do you count things in your head?’ and I answered ‘Yes’ for myself. After that, I started doing some research.” Looking back on her own childhood, a lot of things make more sense now – for example, the frustration of not being able to finish a task immediately.

According to the Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Support Group of Southern Africa (Adhasa), between eight percent and 10 percent of the South African population have ADHD – a term used to include ADD (Attention Deficit

Disorder) as well. The disorder appears to be almost twice as prevalent amongst boys as girls.

Mental health practitioners differentiate between three sub-types of ADHD: • predominantly inattentive with little or no sign of impulsivity and hyperactivity; • predominantly impulsive and hyperactive with little or no attention difficulties; • t he combined type – distractible, hyperactive and impulsive.

an “Aha!” moment In 2010, The Lancet, a medical journal, claimed to have found a genetic link to ADHD. Those with ADHD, they

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

discovered genetic link to ADHD.

said, had more chromosomal structural abnormalities, specifically more copy-number variants. In other words, on certain chromosomes, genetic material had either been deleted or duplicated. Dr Lynda Albertyn, child psychiatrist and head of the Child, Adolescent and Family Unit at Johannesburg Hospital, adds that even before the growing genetic evidence, which has been reported in the journals for several years now, there was convincing evidence from twin and adoption studies that ADHD is largely inherited.

Nine-year-old Tom* has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and so does his mother Helen, a graphic and fashion designer who lives in Port Elizabeth with her three children.

Like her son, Helen would go “into a daze and then wake up in a panic” at school. Frequently, teachers would report that she was not applying herself and was capable of more.

“I know what it’s like for Tom with the kind of daily battles he has to face at school,” she says. Yet Helen has made great strides with Tom: she has changed his medication (overly high doses of Ritalin were making him depressed, weepy and paranoid), she moved him to a more nurturing school and found two mentors to motivate him – Richard Branson and reality TV personality Ty Pennington, who also suffer from ADHD. According to Jessica Cheesman, a recent Masters graduate from the University of Cape Town, studies show that the average heritability of ADHD is 0.75. That means that approximately 75 percent of the cause of this disorder is genetic. During Jessica’s research on how mothers of children with ADHD experience stress, she found that many moms had an “Aha!” moment about their own mental health when their children received their ADHD diagnosis. “Often mothers would express how they saw features of themselves in their children, and this gave them some solace in their child’s diagnosis,” she says.

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The argument in The Lancet, however, has come under some fire. The BBC’s online medical correspondent Fergus Walsh says: “There is a danger in reading too much into The Lancet’s new research on attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.” Supposedly, children with ADHD were “twice as likely to have chunks of DNA missing or duplicated.” However, drilling down into the numbers, around 15 percent of the ADHD children actually had the genetic variant – in other words, 85 percent did not, which “hardly justifies confident assertion that ADHD is a genetic disease.”

In response, Professor Thapar, the spokesperson for the research, said that the study aimed to remove the stigma associated with ADHD. The condition “could not be dismissed as being down to bad parenting or poor diet.”

does your child have ADD/ADHD? Attention Deficit Disorder: • Often fails to pay close attention to details or makes careless mistakes.

• Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or activities.

• Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.

• Often does not follow through on instructions.

• Often has difficulty organising tasks and activities.

• Often avoids tasks that require sustained attention.

• Often loses things necessary for tasks.

• Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli.

• Is forgetful in daily activities.

getting a handle on it Albertyn states that there is promising research on the effects of the environment on genes. “Certain environmental factors such as birth damage or an adverse childhood can act on genetic vulnerabilities, which then lead to the development of a disorder. So, someone with a genetic predisposition for ADHD, who has firm and structured parenting, will manifest fewer symptoms than a child with the same genetic predisposition who is raised in a chaotic household.”

Despite the fact that the cause of ADHD is complex – most probably a subtle blending of genetics and the environment – parents of children who suffer from ADHD may benefit from looking at their own childhood. It’s possible that they will identify with what their children are experiencing. *Names have been changed.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: • Often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat.

• Often leaves seat in classroom or other situations.

• Often runs or climbs excessively in situations where it is inappropriate to do so.

• Often has difficulty playing quietly.

• Is often “on the go” or often acts as if “driven by a motor”.

• Often talks excessively.

• Often blurts out answers before questions have been completed.

• Often has difficulty waiting their turn.

• Often interrupts or intrudes on others.

• Often engages in dangerous activities.

From the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition.

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parenting

naughty or needy?

From biting and bossing to lying and cheating, our children’s behaviour can embarrass us, and worse. What should we do about it, asks GLYNIS HORNING, and when should we worry?

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Hurting, bossing, lying, stealing – all inappropriate behaviour that seems especially disturbing in children, who we think of as innocent and sweet, yet is common.

“In the early years especially, children can struggle to separate fantasy from reality and accept family and social rules,” says Patricia Tau, an educational psychologist in Brakpan. They are self-absorbed and can’t always express or control emotions and impulses.

Is it hormones, or have I raised a delinquent?

Thankfully, with the right guidance and maturity most grow out of it, says Tau and Durban clinical psychologist Ros Lowry agrees. “The key is to understand the reasons behind it and find and model appropriate ways to deal with it,” says Lowry.

hurting: biting, hitting, pinching Why they do it: Children between four and seven months often bite simply because they are teething and it feels good. They are too young to grasp the difference between chomping on a toe or a toy, says Tau. At around 12 months they discover cause and effect, and biting, hitting or pinching can be a way to get attention. This may also be a way to express anxiety or anger, she says, such as when they are separated from their mothers. For toddlers, who are learning independence, these behaviours can also be a way to control others – to make them move, or give them the toy they want. Older children using them tend to have trouble expressing feelings in words and asking for help.

They may also be acting out to relieve stress from family conflict, bullying, abuse, moving home or a death.

What you can do: “Never shout or lash out; it makes things worse,” says Tau. Comfort the victim then turn to the biter, speaking firmly but calmly. Just tell a baby “No”, and remove

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

i

still recall the day a friend’s toddler sidled up to my sleeping four-month-old and sank his teeth into one plump pink toe. My son’s yowls were soon drowned by the toddler’s as my outraged friend planted several sharp smacks on his behind. “We don’t” – SMACK! – “hurt” – SMACK! – “people!” she admonished him. The contradiction between her words and actions stayed with me, raising a rueful smile.

Ten years on, her toddler had turned into a teen of distinctly bossy bent, who on his last visit reduced my quiet, easy-going son to seething frustration by dominating every game and insisting on having his way.

Later his mother called, voice tight with tension.

“Did your boy give Max* two music DVDs and a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards?” she asked.

A quick check showed them missing from his room.

“I don’t know what to do,” she sighed. “Is it hormones, or have I raised a delinquent?”

them from their victim. Look a toddler in the eye and say: “It’s not okay to bite/pinch/hit; it hurts.” Lead them away by the wrist and let them cool down for a few minutes. “There needs to be a consequence to any negative behaviour, a time-out or taking something away from the child,” says Lowry. “And whatever your family chooses, it needs to be consistent.” Explain to your child that you love them, but what they did was unacceptable. Give a hug and move on.

Best prevention: Be sure to notice good behaviour and reward it with attention. “Children have an emotional need to be acknowledged, heard and understood, and would rather have negative attention from being reprimanded or even physically punished than no attention,” says Lowry.

“Reward systems such as star charts are a great form of positive reinforcement that young children usually enjoy; they contribute to your child’s sense of competency and selfesteem.” If the behaviour stems from stress (divorce, moving home, death), provide the security of a predictable routine.

Teach children to recognise and name their feelings, and express them appropriately using words, exercise, sport, dance or art. Explain: “It’s okay to be afraid, sad or angry; it’s never okay to hurt others.” If deliberate hurting continues, get professional help. (See “when should you worry?”)

dominating: bossing, bullying Why they do it: Domineering behaviour can come from an absence of authority, where a parent is away often or

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abdicates the leadership role. The oldest child or the one with the strongest personality will often play this part with siblings. This may not be a problem if the child has balance and maturity, but without these the child may use bossing and bullying. Busy, working parents or single parents can come to rely on the bossy child to keep order and may be reluctant to rein them in, leaving younger children feeling unprotected, cautions Tau. Bossing and bullying can also stem from authoritarian parenting – a child who feels dominated can vent feelings of resentment, helplessness, anger or fear by dominating others, she says. Bossiness is often a sign of insecurity, but sometimes it simply signals an assertive personality. If you help shape it, it can give your child useful leadership skills. But left unchecked it will alienate others and cost your child friends.

What you can do: If a child or adolescent is trying to run your family, even if you are a single parent and secretly welcome it, give them clear, consistent boundaries.

“Boundaries make a child feel safe and secure,” says Lowry. Tell them, “You’re a great help, but you’re not a parent, you’re my child.” If the rules are broken, enforce them quickly and calmly.

Best prevention: Watch interactions with siblings or during playdates, and if your child always dominates, take her aside and explain they could lose friends and respect.

Have a signal such as tapping her arm. Explain and calmly enforce the need to consider others’ feelings and

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parenting

needs, to ask nicely, take turns, and to not always have to win. Above all, says Lowry, model them yourself.

deceiving: lying, stealing, cheating Why they do it: Children under three years old don’t deliberately deceive, says Tau. They are experimenting with words, and may lie to avoid punishment, but they don’t fully appreciate the difference between “yours” and “mine” when they take things and have yet to develop a moral code. Three to six years is the age of imaginary play, and children may make things up as part of this rather than intentionally deceiving. They’re beginning to respect things that belong to others, but may take or trade them without being aware of their real value. From around seven years old, children generally know lying and stealing is wrong and can be strictly moralistic, but may do it anyway to test adults’ limits or to copy other children or fit in with them.

Lying, stealing or cheating often signals that they feel insecure or inferior, says Tau. They may not be receiving the praise or attention they need, and may be afraid of not measuring up, and try to “buy” status or affection. They may also be depressed, she says, stealing to vent feelings of fear, anger or guilt over family conflict, poor school performance or losing a loved one.

What you can do: After age three it’s important to confront your child, says Tau. “Don’t overreact, simply say: ‘You’re not allowed to take what’s not yours,’ or it

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can become a habit.” Focus on uncovering their reasons and work with them on those. If they lie to avoid a chore or punishment, stick to the punishment and explain it would have been lighter had they been honest. If they steal to keep up with or impress friends, have them return the item and apologise, and give appropriate punishment.

Tell them, “We treasure trust and honesty.” Explain that values don’t rest on material possessions. Talk about what your family can afford, and help them budget, save or do chores or jobs to earn something they truly want, says Tau. Best prevention: It’s ironic that lying, cheating and even stealing is often rooted in children not wanting to disappoint us. “Make sure your expectations are realistic and that you aren’t being too pushy, looking to them to meet your needs,” Tau says. Tell them often that you love them no matter what, and that you value the effort they put into things more than the end result. When they make mistakes, break things or fail tests, don’t berate them. Calmly help them sort out the problem, help them understand what went wrong and learn from it. When they own up to something, tell them you admire their honesty and courage. Above all, model these qualities yourself.

If you’re caught speeding, let them see you admit it, apologise and accept the fine with good grace. If a cashier gives too much change, let them see you return it. And tell them how good it feels to do the right thing. * Name has been changed.

when should you worry?

“It’s important to sift out what is developmentally appropriate behaviour from what is inappropriate,” says psychologist Ros Lowry. “The best advice is to trust your parental intuition – when things don’t feel right, they usually aren’t, and it’s useful to get the opinion of a professional who works with children.” Difficult behaviours may be symptomatic of underlying feelings or emotional difficulties that they don’t know how to express or that don’t make sense to them, she says. But if the behaviour is accompanied by the following, it can indicate depression or psychological problems, and you should speak to your doctor, school counsellor or a psychologist: • tearfulness, anxiety • irritation, anger • sleep problems • change in appetite or weight • hyperactivity • few or no friends • skipping school • shoplifting • damaging property • hurting animals

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education

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extra! extra!

Newspapers have educational and entertainment value, which make them a nifty learning resource at home and in the classroom. By TAMLYN VINCENT

or parents and teachers in particular, the newspaper can be an especially powerful tool as it is like a living textbook. There is something new to read, look at, think about and discuss every day. Newspapers can add to the lesson in a classroom, form part of a child’s research material and add interesting ideas to daily discussions.

Here are some creative ways to use the newspaper to teach:

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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word games

Most newspapers feature crossword and sudoku puzzles, while some may offer easier games for younger children. They could also make their own crossword from words they find in the newspaper, and you could make it more challenging by giving the crossword a theme or telling them to only use verbs. Other word games include word searches, cryptograms – use a key to solve the puzzle – and word polygons, which is the use of set letters to make as many words as possible.

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ABCs Ask children to find and cut out the letters of the alphabet from headlines. They can then find words or pictures that start with each letter and create an alphabet chart.

full stops and commas

scavenger hunts

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Get children to search for different letters or words in an article.

Older children can learn to identify words from word classes by being asked to highlight all of the nouns or adjectives on a page.

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Children can use the paper to identify different types of punctuation. A useful activity is to give children a rewritten paragraph from the newspaper with all the punctuation removed. They can then punctuate the paragraph for themselves.

Compare this to the original, see if the meaning has been changed anywhere and give them feedback.

make your own newspaper

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This class activity will task children with exploring newsworthy events in their class, school and community. Interviews, columns, cartoons and entertainment news can all be included.

To read the full article and download all the ideas, go to childmag.co.za/ content/extra-extra

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ideas ideas

out-the-box lunches CHILD MAGAZINE asks some of our favourite South African chefs for their winning lunchbox ideas.

The Giggling Gourmet’s Lamb Wraps Jenny Morris has come up with the ultimate in leftovers for lunch. As stipulated in the recipe, you can take lamb out especially for a few lunches or you can use leftovers from a roast lamb as you’re clearing up after Sunday lunch.

As you’re busy cleaning, scoop up the lamb remnants; create, wrap and pack it in the lunchboxes and pop it in the fridge overnight.

The lamb • 1kg deboned leg of lamb, cut into 6 slices • Olive oil • Salt • Freshly ground black pepper • 1 Tbsp cumin seeds • 6 tortilla wraps The salad • 1 red onion, thinly sliced • 3 spring onions with tops, sliced • 2 cloves garlic, crushed • 1 medium English cucumber, cubed • Zest of 1 ripe lemon • 1 green chilli, chopped (optional) • ½ cup freshly chopped mint • ½ cup freshly chopped coriander • ½ cup freshly chopped flat leaf parsley • Salt and freshly ground black pepper • 1 cup Greek yoghurt Rub the lamb slices with olive oil, season with salt and freshly ground black pepper, and press into the cumin seeds.

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Sandy’s Sports Lunchbox: Fillet Pasta Sandy Harper came up with a lunch perfect for the active, carbo-loading child with the massive appetite. While the pasta is a complex carbohydrate, the addition of the fillet and pesto provides valuable protein, and the lemon juice renders the fillet easy to digest, as the lemon partly breaks down the fibres in the meat.

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Heat a non-stick frying pan and add a little olive oil, sear the lamb slices on both sides, and cook till slightly pink.

Rest the meat and slice each of the 6 pieces thinly when the salad is ready.

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Mix all the salad ingredients together and place onto a platter. Top with sliced lamb.

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Warm the wraps in a dry pan, place them onto a wooden board and let everyone fill their own with lamb salad.

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Serves 6

Jenny, the owner of CooksPlayground studio in Cape Town, is a Food Network host and her show is on DStv channel 185. Her third cook book, Cooking with Jenny Morris (Sunbird Publishers), is available at all good book stores.

• Four or five ( +/- 250g) slices of leftover cold beef fillet – sliced into thin strips and drizzled with some fresh lemon juice, olive oil and seasoned with salt and pepper to taste • +/- 10 Rosa tomatoes sliced in half and marinated in a sprinkling of sugar, olive oil and a few chopped purple spring onions.

• Cooked penne, al dente, moistened with ready-made basil pesto. (Don’t be shy; the pesto adds huge value in terms of flavour and nutrition.)

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Jane-Anne’s Little Tuna Salads The hook to Jane-Anne Hobbs’ winning idea is that there is not a single frothing and overwhelming green to be found in this salad. These neat, individual tuna salads convinced her own children to give green stuff a try, and they’ve become dedicated eaters of salads into their teens.

You can pack these pretty salad rings with everything from carrot sticks and cheddar cubes to nuts, seeds and any other nutrient-packed food.

• 2 large free-range eggs • 1 English cucumber • Iceberg lettuce, torn into small pieces • A handful of cherry tomatoes, halved • A can of tuna, drained of its oil and flaked • 8 Calamata olives, destoned and halved • 75g feta cheese, cubed • Chives, finely snipped For the dressing: • 4 Tbsp (60ml) olive oil • Juice of a lemon • A pinch of salt • 1 tsp (5ml) honey First make the dressing: whisk all the ingredients together and set aside. Slide the eggs into gently boiling water and cook for 9 minutes. Remove the pot from the heat and set it under a trickling cold tap for 3 minutes.

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Rinse the cucumber and cut a 5mm horizontal slice off the long side to expose the flesh. Using a mandolin or sharp knife, cut the cucumber into very thin horizontal slices, each about 1–2mm thick. Cut any leftover cucumber into matchstick-sized pieces, and peel and quarter the eggs.

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To assemble the first salad, place a large sheet of cling film on a dampened chopping board.

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On top of the cling film place a metal food ring (if you don’t have one, cut off the bottom of the empty tuna tin and use that).

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Firmly press the cucumber slice around the inside to form a circle (you may need to use two overlapping slices, depending on the length of your cucumber).

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Fill the cucumber ring with a mixture of lettuce, feta, cucumber sticks, tomatoes, tuna, olives, egg quarters and chives.

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Now very gently slide the food ring up and off, and pull up the sides of the cling film to make a neat parcel. Repeat with the other three salads. If you’re serving these immediately, assemble the salads on individual plates (without the cling film) and trickle the dressing over them. If you’re sending these to school in a lunchbox, put a little dressing in a small tub so your child can dress the salad just before she eats it.

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Makes 4 salads.

Jane-Anne is a renowned, independent food blogger and released her first recipe book Scrumptious (Random House Struik Publishers) in July this year.

It can be found at all good book stores. She has three children aged 13, 18 and 20 years old.

• Parmesan shavings • Fresh rocket Combine basil pesto penne, with rosa tomatoes (use all the juice) and fillet.

Top with shavings of Parmesan or feta cheese and fresh rocket.

Tip: This pasta salad is really delicious if the fillet is medium rare to start off with. It is equally great as a warm dish, if preferred.

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Sandy authored The Lunchbox Book (New Holland), which is available on amazon.co.uk.

She has two children, aged 13 and 16.

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education

deal with it RUTH REHBOCK says that when your child tells you they don’t like their teacher, you’ll need to dig a little

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decided I wanted to study medicine at age 12 and cherished the dream until I found myself in Mrs McCarthy’s science class. She was impatient, strict and unforgiving and, worst of all, we had already heard the story of the flying watch – she had thrown a watch out of the window after a pupil had glanced at it in class. I was terrified of her; I didn’t always grasp what she was saying the first time round and I didn’t tell anyone how I felt or what was happening. My dream of becoming a doctor started to recede and I felt wretched. Looking back, I realise that if I had only voiced my feelings and asked for help, I might have achieved my goal.

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It’s quite disconcerting, after talking to other parents, to find out a few people had similar experiences – teachers leaving scars on their psyches in some cases, but luckily, times have changed. Now teachers and parents are encouraged to build a working relationship so that none of our children “fall through the cracks” at any stage of their school career.

One trick that makes parenting less stressful is not to over-identify with your child’s emotions when they start to have problems. Try to remain objective so you can soothe your child first and then find out the facts before taking action. Melanie Hartgill, an educational psychologist in

Joburg says, “Parents must take their children’s complaints about school seriously, but also realise this is a child’s reaction to an event. Young children, and sometimes even those in senior primary, can’t always identify exactly what has upset them. Nor do they always tell the truth. The way to look at the situation is to be the ‘psychologist’ in order to find out what’s really going on.”

start talking If your child comes home and says “I hate my teacher”, the best thing to do is start a conversation with your child and get as many details about the situation as possible. Ask for examples of the teacher’s behaviour – it shows your interest, that they are being heard, and it gives you an idea of what really happened.

Parents need to realise that “I hate my teacher” is very often a cry for attention.

If your child is battling with schoolwork, feels stressed or has problems socialising at school, they could express it in this way.

Annalene Drapala, who teaches Grade 4 at Sunlands Primary School in Cape Town, is aware this kind of statement usually masks more complex emotions. “Children are impulsive and spontaneous so they blurt out something that will hook you – and teachers are an easy target. It could mean a child feels isolated, is being bullied, or is really struggling with the work or school routine.”

Drapala, who’s been teaching for more than 25 years, says parents must dig deeper into what is upsetting their child.

“I once had a parent who said hurtful and damaging things to me instead of talking to me about their child who was very

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

deeper to find out what’s really going on.

sensitive and felt neglected at home. The child was crying out for love and attention because Mom was getting married for the second time.”

However, according to experts, you have to adapt your responses, depending on your child’s stage of development.

Young children, those in preschool and a little older too, don’t often say “I hate my teacher”, but if they do it’s a fairly serious thing, say the experts. “You have to act swiftly if a preschooler doesn’t want to go to school and complains of aches and pains or drags her feet in the mornings.

Go immediately and speak to the teacher.

Children of that age ought to enjoy going to school,” says Hartgill.

In junior primary your child could still use physical “ailments” to get out of going to school, but may also say things like “my teacher is mean” or “my teacher is stupid”.

“Remain calm, start a conversation with your child by getting details and targeting your questions,” says Hartgill. “If your child says ‘I hate my teacher’, ask what happened before the teacher was mean to her and what happened afterwards. In this way, you will hopefully find out what really occurred. Then you can calmly decide what to do next.” Don’t push your child to open up, either. Allow your child the space

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to talk when they feel the need to do so.

Bedtime might be a good time because they are relaxed.

In senior primary, however, it may prove easier to find out the real story. At this age a child is more likely to relay the facts, often with less emotion. However, it doesn’t let you off the hook – it’s always your responsibility to listen to all sides of the story. Remember, teachers want the best for your child, so support your child without undermining the teacher’s authority.

was really struggling with Grade 1 but told her mom the teacher “always picked on her”. “I found out my child didn’t have the skills she needed for Grade 1 and was actually anxious and depressed.

After consultation with the teacher and the principal we agreed to send her for extra lessons with her teacher, and for OT, to get her up to speed. With support from me she started to feel more confident and has passed Grade 1.”

make it work been there One mom got the facts as best she could from her five-year-old and was able to help her son. In the last year of preschool, he got very anxious about going to school because his teacher shouted a great deal in the classroom. “I asked my son why he thought she shouted a lot and he replied that she was cross with the naughty children,” says Lesley Morgan from Joburg. “I made sure he understood she wasn’t shouting at him because he works hard and is a good boy. This made him feel more confident and secure and he gradually became less and less anxious.”

Another mom, Annemarie Simpson from Pretoria, discovered her daughter

Hartgill says it’s imperative to give children the confidence to cope with difficult situations. “We need to empower our children; simply removing them from the problem doesn’t teach them to cope with

problems or difficult circumstances, which are really important life skills.”

“Research has shown that children who acquire the right skills to cope with tough situations grow up to be more successful than those who don’t,” says Hartgill. “It’s usually not a good idea to move a child to another class because the situation will most likely repeat itself. It’s much more constructive to find out what’s not working in the relationship first.”

Experts also advise parents not to upset any of the teachers at school. Go to the class teacher first, then the head teacher and so on; going straight to the principal will cause animosity. You can also enlist the help of a school counsellor to assist in resolving the situation.

digging deeper Children may have other issues when they say they hate their teacher. Some of the problems may include: • Struggling with work or homework.

• An overly critical or highly strung teacher.

• B ig changes in their life that cause high levels of anxiety – moving house, death of a family member, divorce.

• Low self-esteem.

• Being bullied or having been the victim of abuse in one form or another.

• Your child’s and teacher’s personalities clash.

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education

RUTH REHBOCK reminds us how wonderfully stimulating fairytales, old and new, are for our children.

they learn as they dream “Children need to be encouraged to develop fantasy as part of their intellectual and social development; imaginative play is crucial because it enables children to be creative,” says Durban-based educational psychologist Tammy Brink Styles. “Creative thought in turn enhances mental resourcefulness and language development, which enables them to articulate inner thoughts and feelings.” This, she says, is critical, as it allows children to develop a sense of mastery over their world.

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Phillipa Warren, a teacher from Milkwood Pre-Primary School in Fish Hoek, explains that the children in her Grade R class have already been exposed to traditional fairytales such as the fantasy and adventure stories by Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl or Julia Donaldson who wrote The Gruffalo and Room on the Broom, and don’t want to hear them read aloud at school. But, the experts say, we must realise these stories are still a valuable part of our cultural and literary heritage, and can illustrate good values and behaviour. Brink Styles adds that these stories must be mediated by parents.

“We have to choose appropriate tales for our children, considering their age and level of development, and we have to make sure they know these are fantasy and not reality. But don’t burst the bubble completely. Let them believe wishes come true and good always triumphs in a story,” she says.

Brink Styles says you can start reading fairytales to a child as young as 18 months, even if you only read a page and start talking about the story instead. “I love Aesop’s Fables because its simplicity means children of three years and even younger can enjoy them according to their level of understanding. With preschoolers you can often take their lead, but make sure you have read the story first to see whether it will be upsetting in any way,” says Warren.

a creative spin on learning There are simple ways in which you can deal with the more frightening, violent aspects of fairytales. Lindsay Grubb from Joburg usually tones down these aspects as her daughter is frightened by some of the characters in the original stories. “I changed Little Red Riding Hood as I read it to my daughter Ciara, who’s four; so the granny hid away from the wolf in the cupboard and the woodcutter chased the wolf away so he would never return.”

On the other hand, older children can find classic fairytales captivating and stimulating. Celia Fleming, mom to Jonathan, eight, and Daniel, six, who lives in Cape Town, says her children are quite intrigued by things like dwarves and wicked stepmothers and very often they end up chatting about these stepmothers. “When the scene is upsetting I hurry through it but in general I find fairytales are a good starting point for a discussion about evil or jealousy or how to behave in specific situations.”

Of course, there is also the argument that they teach traditional roles for men and women, which holds us back from reaching our potential. A few educators, however, have found creative ways to utilise these stories. “We use all sorts of stories to illustrate and instil the 7 Habits of Happy Kids and the 7 Habits of Highly Effective

People, both by Stephen Covey (Free Press), in order to develop every child’s potential, such as teaching skills like leadership and learning to be proactive,” says Jacky Bellon, librarian at King David Junior School in Linksfield, Joburg. For instance, The Little Red Hen is a good example of Habit no. 3, “Put first things first” or “Work first, then play”.

We have to keep in mind today’s children know so much more than we did at their age and have so much technological savvy that the enchantment of classic fairytales may just not be enough. It is still up to us, however, to inspire them with these humorous and interesting stories. Writers, film-makers and educators weave these archetypal characters into our contemporary culture through new stories like Tangled and books like Princess Smartypants (Putnam Publishing Group) by Babette Cole. The science fiction, and fantasy books and movies, if you think about it, illustrate many of our human endeavours in much the same way as classic fairytales do. Venturing into new territory, whether a dark forest or a mysterious planet, the adventure yields many of the same hurdles and personal growth experiences.

In the end it’s really a personal choice whether you read your children traditional or adapted fairytales, but remember that traditional tales have their origins mainly in Europe and Russia. Why not try a few alternatives, like folk tales from India, China, Japan and Africa (see “tales of a different kind”), where you will find similar studies of human behaviour, covering man’s interaction with nature and the battle between good and evil. In fact, if you look into any culture you will find human experience transmitted into oral tradition and later, written down as folk- and fairytales.

tales of a different kind • T he Lost Horse: A Chinese Folktale by Ed Young and Tracey Adams (Voyager Books, 2004) • The Berry Basket: Three African Folktales by Dinah M Mbanze (Kwela Books, 1999) • Elephant Prince: The Story of Ganesh by Amy Novesky and Belgin K Wedman (Mandala Publishing, 2004) • Nelson Mandela’s Favourite African Folktales

by Nelson Mandela (W W Norton & Company, 2007) • Peachboy: A Japanese Folktale by Eric Metaxas and Jeffrey Smith (Simon & Schuster, 1995) • T he Adventures of Spider: West African Folktales by Joyce Cooper Arkhurst and Jerry Pinkney (Little Brown Books for Young Readers, 1992)

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ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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was afraid of magicians and clowns, and of anything I couldn’t see or touch. Magic disturbed me, witches, dark forests and wicked stepmothers terrified me, and I was shocked by tales of children abandoned by their parents. Still, I had dreams of dressing up like a fairy or princess, and of being whisked away by my handsome prince one day. Those stories had a powerful influence on my ideas and beliefs about femininity and relationships.

Listening to friends and family, it seems that many of my generation were influenced by these fairytales.

Fortunately, today’s children who are enchanted by magic landscapes filled with talking animals, giants and fairy godmothers can have access to these tales in a re-worked format, which convey contemporary characters and popular storylines that are more relevant to our 21st-century culture.

New types of “fairytales” are created all the time, with writers and film-makers constantly reworking old tales that go way back in time, starting out as stories transmitted from generation to generation in the oral tradition.

Many parents today face a challenge: how do we encourage our children’s sense of wonder and belief in the mysterious and the magical, and promote a love of reading, while making sure they acknowledge and understand the difference between fantasy and reality?

The good news is that experts believe fairytales have a valuable and important role to play in childhood.

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resource

an added advantage Whether your child is looking to boost their upcoming exam results, they need to grasp a difficult concept or want to wrap their head around the work load, these learning

Futurevista This is a Junior IT Academy for children 5–18 years old. The focus is on instructor-led training, where children attend lessons once a week. Lessons range from 45 minutes to an hour, depending on the child’s age. The curriculum is age-appropriate and challenging with beginner, intermediate and advanced levels available. Local and international certifications are also available for different age groups.

Area: Ballito Contact: 032 586 3288, info@futurevista. co.za or visit futurevista.co.za

languages and reading centres

computer and IT centres Computers 4 Kids Umhlanga This computer centre helps children become computer literate. They specialise in IT training for children 5 years and older, Computer training classes are run in small groups, by experienced tutors. E-Learner courses, more advanced courses, holiday workshops and extramural classes are all available. The centre is ICDL and ECDL endorsed and has Seta accreditation.

Area: Umhlanga Ridge Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556, umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za

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August 2012

Alliance Française This French teaching centre offers group classes and individual lessons in French and Zulu. Alliance Française is one of South Africa’s oldest and largest French learning centres, and teachers are trained and experienced, with most being native French speakers.

The cultural environment at the centre also offers an insight into French culture, meaning you learn about both the language and the people.

Area: Morningside, Durban Contact: 031 312 9582, afdbn@global. co.za or visit alliance.org.za Edublox Reading and Learning Clinic Edublox works to address reading and learning difficulties by developing and practising skills that underlie reading, spelling, writing and learning. Children can have an assessment done of their reading and learning skills. Other services include

weekly lessons for improving skills such as memory, perception and logical thinking, help for learners with reading and spelling difficulties, study skills classes and school readiness classes.

Area: Ballito and Upper Highway Contact: Ballito: 032 586 3411, yolande@edublox.com or Upper Highway: 031 764 3226, marj@edublox.com or visit edublox.com

or with private lessons. The courses for children are aimed at school-going children from pre-school to Grade 12. Courses are sponsored by the Government of Italy and certificates are issued by Italian authorities.

Courses are held at the Italian cultural centre, where a library is also available.

Area: Durban North Contact: dante.alighieri@telkomsa.net or visit dante-kzn.org

Kip McGrath Education Centres Their English programme covers reading, spelling, grammar, comprehension, vocabulary and writing skills. They accommodate children from Grade R–Grade 12.

Area: nationwide, with 15 centres in KwaZulu-Natal Contact: 031 903 5352, info@kipmcgrath. co.za or visit kipmcgrath.co.za

The Shine Centre This innovative programme provides support in literacy and language enrichment for children in Grades 2 and 3. The programme consists of four parts: shared reading, paired reading, ‘have a go’ writing and word play. Children are paired with a learning partner who builds up a detailed profile of each child and reports on their learning behaviour as well as their physical and emotional status.

Area: Durban Contact: 084 615 4680, shinecentrecapetown@gmail.com or visit theshinecentre.org.za

Kumon English This learning programme offers tuition in English to children 3 years and older. The focus is on developing a love of reading in children while working towards the development of other reading skills. These include comprehension, how to summarise and listening skills.

Children begin with letter recognition, and progress through different levels to poetry and literature in Grade 12. Certificates of achievement are awarded to children for completing levels and programmes.

Area: nationwide Contact: 0800 002 775, info@kumon. co.za or visit kumon.co.za Societá Dante Alighieri Italian language courses are offered for children in groups

Tina Cowley Reading Centre Reading therapy is offered in English and Afrikaans, to help address reading problems. The problem areas are identified so that they can be specifically addressed. The centre uses a computer programme and one-onone interaction in their lessons.

Area: Berea, Durban North, Hillcrest, Westville and Yellowwood Park Contact head office: 013 656 5748, 087 941 5411, tinacow@mweb.co.za, linda@ tinacowley.co.za or visit tinacowley.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterSTOCK.COM

centres will help your school-goer make a success of each term. By TAMLYN VINCENT

Wise Eye Reading Academy They work to improve reading skills. Children take a free Visagraph assessment and are then enrolled in a minimum six-week course that uses a computer programme and home therapy to improve tracking, spelling and comprehension. The course is available in English and Afrikaans, for children in Grade 4 and upwards. Therapists are trained at the head office.

Area: nationwide Contact head office: 012 751 2830, headoffice@wiseeye.co.za or visit wiseeye.co.za

maths centres Kip McGrath Education Centres Helps with maths basics, homework, with more advanced maths problems and helps the understanding of new concepts introduced in Grades 8, 9 and 10. For learners in Grade R–Matric.

Area: nationwide

Contact: 031 903 5352, info@kipmcgrath. co.za or visit kipmcgrath.co.za Kumon Maths This learning programme offers tuition in maths to children 4 years and older. It develops study skills and concentration, and helps create confident, independent learners who have a positive attitude towards studying. When enrolling, children are assessed to establish their starting level. Their progress is monitored throughout to ensure that their classand home-work match their level. Upon completing a level or programme, students are awarded a certificate of achievement.

Area: nationwide Contact: 0800 002 775, info@kumon. co.za or visit kumon.co.za Master Maths Tuition in maths is offered to learners in Grade 4–12. Children attend individual lessons, that make extensive use of interactive computer graphics to illustrate principles. Tutors identify each learner’s problem areas and allocate

in neurofeedback, psychology and occupational therapy.

Area: Durban North Contact: Calvin: 031 563 4404 or calvin@calvinpienaar.co.za or Shelly: 074 132 6113

study skills centres Cornerstone This is a homework centre for all grades and subjects, as well as a remedial home schooling facility for Grades 1–7. The centre offers oneon-one teaching in small groups so that students get individual attention and assistance with their homework.

The educators are all qualified and experienced. Cornerstone is based at Solace Assessment and Therapy Centre, which also offers services

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Dore Trained specialists use exercisebased interventions to address learning difficulties in children 7 years and older. Physiological testing equipment is used to determine the correct level of exercise for children, to ensure that these stimulate and develop the cerebellum, or the “skill learning centre” of the brain. Programme specialists work with the support of medical and research teams.

Area: Durban North Contact: 041 581 2288, 083 352 5167, dione.johnson@dore.co.za or visit dore.co.za Equal Zeal Training This programme provides children with various tools and strategies that assist with learning.

Some of the topics covered include concentration and listening, time

appropriate lessons. Learners are monitored closely to ensure that they achieve better results, which leads to increased confidence. The programme is based on the school curriculum. Master Science is also available for Grades 10–12.

Area: nationwide Contact: 021 851 5660, info@mastermaths. co.za or visit mastermaths.co.za Maths Action They focus primarily on providing extra lessons for primary school maths, and offer exercises and activities that encourage learning at home. Most of the work is practical, allowing children to develop number sense, thereby avoiding rote learning without understanding. The educator is qualified and has over 30 years’ experience in teaching and coaching.

Area: St Mary’s Smart Centre, Kloof Contact Inez: 083 786 1027 or isimplify@ nashuaisp.co.za UCMAS SA (Young Minds Education) Using the Chinese abacus, this maths programme

teaches children 4–13 years old the basic mathematical skills of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. The programme is designed to stimulate the left and right brain at an age when brain development is crucial. While developing basic maths concepts, the programme also improves memory, concentration and the ability to process information.

Area: Overport Contact Zaheera: 031 207 7158, 072 225 0717, zaheerarawat@gmail.com or visit ucmassa.co.za

management, memory strategies and study techniques. Children can also find out more about their learning strengths and weaknesses, and how to organise their study space. This helps them deal with the anxiety and stress of tests and exams.

Area: Durban North and Durban West Contact head office: 011 467 9754, info@equalzeal.com or visit equalzeal.com

The Learning Centre The learning styles programme works to improve children’s study skills. One-on-one profiling is used to establish the learner’s unique learning style. Following this, learners undertake a tailor-made eight week programme.

Private sessions are held for 1–1½ hours on a weekly basis. The programme is aimed at children 12 years and older.

Area: Hillcrest Contact Corinne: 082 420 0930 or corinne@getwithit.za.net

Mind Moves By using neurodevelopmental and genetic dominance assessments, advanced Mind Moves instructors are able to identify and remove barriers to learning. Based on these assessments and recommendations, programmes can be tailor-made to support school readiness, optimise learning efficiency and guide subject and career choices. Mind Moves caters for children in Grades 1–12.

Area: Glenashley and Durban North Contact Michaela: 031 564 1890, michaela.degier@mindmoves.co.za or visit mindmoves.co.za

Westville Remedial Therapy and Assessment Centre Various assessments are offered to assist children with school work. These range from school readiness and scholastic skills assessments to speech, language and IQ assessments.

Literacy and numeracy programmes are offered, as well as the GoFocus programme, which works with reading, writing and spelling. Therapists and teachers are qualified and experienced.

Area: Grace Ave, Westville Contact Feroza: 031 267 1499, 031 266 1118 or visit remedialeducation.co.za

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resource

music centres Destiny Music Academy Both music education and instrument training are offered. You can learn the drums, bass guitar, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, or piano, take vocal classes or music theory. Curricula followed include Trinity College of London, Royal School of Music, Williams-Ros Studios and Destiny Music Academy. Instructors are qualified, with Trinity College and Royal School grades or licentiates, or degrees in music.

Area: La Lucia Contact: 082 877 7369 or destinymusicacademy@gmail.com Drumkidz Djembe drum lessons are offered to preprimary and primary school children, either as an extramural or as part of the school curriculum. Children 3–8 years old can join in drumming workshops, and learn the basics of rhythm, as they drum to stories and songs.

Area: nationwide Contact head office: 021 434 7610, info@ drumkidz.co.za or visit drumkidz.co.za Highway Music School They offer one-onone music tuition for children 5 years and older, in drums, electric, acoustic and bass guitar, the violin, the piano and keyboard.

They also offer tuition in singing or vocals, and follow the internationally recognised Trinity Guildhall and Rockschool curricula.

Students can work their way through

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exam levels and Trinity can be included in matric certification. A recording studio is also available for students who want to compile CDs. Area: Old Main Rd, Gillitts Contact Paula: 082 822 0727, highwaymusicschool@gmail.com or visit highwaymusicschool.co.za

scarves and hoops, and progress to a stage where the learners read and write music, and play glockenspiels, keyboards, dulcimers and recorders. Classes are for children from birth to 7 years. Certificates of attendance are awarded once learners have completed the course.

Area: throughout Durban Contact head office: 018 468 5143, ksa@kindermusik.co.za or visit kindermusik.co.za

programme and offers interactive public workshops. They are endorsed by the Department of Science and Technology, the South African Agency for Science and Technology Advancement (Saasta), and the Department of Education.

Area: Gateway, Umhlanga Rocks Contact: 031 566 8040

Monumental Music School This school specialises in the instruction of guitar and piano. They teach classical music following the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music (ABRSM) syllabi. ABRSM is an international provider of music exams and assessments and the instructor is a qualified educator with experience in the industry.

Area: Durban Contact Tendai: 072 499 4702

Bold Learning The focus at this centre is on extra language and maths lessons for Grades 4–7 and remedial lessons for Grades R–3. Children who are looking to improve their marks, study techniques and more can benefit from these lessons, which are custom designed for each student, based on a free assessment. The classes are led by qualified educators. Emphasis is placed on learning through play.

Area: Cowies Hill, Westville Contact Melissa: 072 725 1919, boldlearningsa@gmail.com or visit boldlearning.co.za

Jennifer Gaul School of Music This school offers tuition in a range of musical instruments including piano, the violin and the recorder. Singing and voice lessons are also offered, as is music theory. Classes are for beginners to advanced. Jennifer Gaul is a qualified teacher and a member of the South African Society of Music Teachers.

Area: Durban North Contact: 084 464 7848

Education Center They offer extra lessons and home school tuition in most school subjects, including science, maths, technology, life orientation, geography, English and Afrikaans. Individual assistance, group sessions and exam boost classes are all available for learners.

Instructors are all qualified teachers, teachers-in-training or specialised tutors.

Area: Ballito Contact: 084 666 2847, info@ educationcenter.co.za or visit educationcenter.co.za

science centres Kindermusik Therapeutic, whole-brain development music classes expose children to music while giving parents a chance to bond and have fun with their children. The classes start out with singing, dancing, playing with instruments, balls,

all subjects

KZN Sciencentre This centre focuses on science, technology, engineering and maths, by using science related presentations, interactive and handson workshops, and exhibitions. Their curriculum is linked with the schools,

Penguin Tutoring Home-based tuition assists learners with extra lessons, exam preparation and revision, or homework supervision. Penguin Tutoring sources tutors who are dedicated and experienced in their subjects. All lessons take place in your home, and tutors travel to you. They offer tuition in a range of subjects including English, Afrikaans, Zulu, maths and the sciences, for children aged 5–21 years.

Area: throughout Durban Contact: 079 161 2740, enquiries@ penguintutoring.co.za or visit penguintutoring.co.za

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Super School A homework centre that offers extra lessons unique to each child, for all foundation phase subjects.

Learners in Grades 1–3 can receive help in English, language and grammar, reading and comprehension, spelling, maths, counting, problem solving, mathematical concepts, handwriting and more. Lessons are run by a qualified and experienced educator, who is a specialist in Foundation Phase education.

Area: Durban North Contact Robyn: 082 829 9789, info@superschool.co.za or visit superschool.co.za Teach me 2 This nationwide tutoring agency specialises in finding and placing learners with the right tutors to help achieve their learning goals. Various school subjects, languages and musical instruments are covered. Singing lessons, sound engineering, exam preparation and Foundation Phase literacy and numeracy are some of the subjects offered. Tutors are screened, have reliable references and achieve good results in the subjects they tutor. Lessons take place at your home, at a time convenient to you.

Area: nationwide Contact: 086 183 2246 or visit teachme2.co.za

primary school learners. Educators and parents can access fun and educational worksheets that are in line with the school curriculum. The portal allows teachers to integrate global learning methods into the classroom, while parents and learners can easily access and download exercises.

New content is uploaded every month.

Contact: 021 789 0191, e-classroom@ mweb.co.za or visit e-classroom.co.za

online learning Brainline Learning World Schools, learning centres and parents can access the subjects and curricula supplied by this curriculum and assessment provider.

Single subjects or the full curriculum, from Grades R–12, can be purchased.

Courses include the subject material, tests, exams and memorandums.

Additional material and online support are also available. They also offer annual report cards. Brainline is accredited as an exam centre with the Independent Examinations Board and Cambridge.

Contact: 012 543 5000, info@brainline. com or visit brainline.com Computer Skills for Africa Children have fun while learning to use computer programmes such as Microsoft Word or Excel. A full curriculum is offered, from Grades 1–12, and comes in a book- and CD-format. This means children are able to use it at home, with some parental supervision. International Computer Driving License courses are also available.

Area: nationwide Contact: 034 326 4624 or visit cs4a.co.za E-Classroom This online portal supplies free worksheets for preprimary and

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Future 4 Kids They distribute Cami Educational software, which helps to stimulate, challenge and tutor children.

The aim of the programmes is to bridge the divide between the classroom and home, by providing comprehensive, curriculum-based software systems for children 5–18 years old. Software packages are available in Cami Maths, Cami Reader for English and Afrikaans, and Cami Perceptual Skills Builder.

Cami Science will be available in the near future. Pricing includes installation, training and tutor facilities.

Contact: 021 811 6600, info@future4kids. co.za or visit future4kids.co.za IQ Smart Their Educational Software is a computer-based learning system that uses interactive lessons, exercises and tests to assist children in school subjects.

Maths, English, science and computer literacy are all covered. Licenses for school networks or for home use are available. The programme has also been evaluated and approved by the Western Cape Department of Education.

Contact Rick: 083 256 9696 or visit iqsmart.co.za IXL Learning A fun and easy-to-navigate website that offers maths exercises and games that are aligned to the South African national curriculum for preschool to Grade 9 learners. Members receive access to IXL’s national curriculum reports where you’re able to monitor your child’s progress.

For more info: visit za.ixl.com Kids @ Work This website provides research articles for primary school children. The articles are based on the school curricula, and cover various

school subjects and relevant topics in a way that children can understand.

Some of the subjects covered include life orientation, natural sciences and art and culture. It is a resource for teachers, parents and children and is intended to help children learn about subjects and research for themselves.

For more info: visit kidsatwork.co.za Maths Buddy SA This high-quality maths tutoring programme is based on the South African curriculum for Grades 1–12. It was developed by experienced teachers and features animated and narrated maths lessons and interactive questions. It also offers a speedskills challenge to improve speed and accuracy in arithmetic. The content is frequently adjusted and updated to accommodate curriculum changes. It is available to schools and parents.

Contact Jeanette: 011 275 0444, 083 469 3886, jeanette@mathsbuddy. co.za or visit mathsbuddy.co.za Readers are Leaders This reading and language software is designed to improve reading speed, reading comprehension and visual memory.

The programme includes a sequence of exercises such as word definitions, comprehension exercises and memory tests. The exercises are designed to accelerate learning processes and work as a teaching aid or to reinforce lessons learnt in school. Old content is frequently updated and new content is added.

Contact: 031 266 1410, info@fbms. co.za or visit readersareleaders.co.za The Happy Handwriter Letter formation books, letter cards and fine motor kits are geared towards improving handwriting. The activities are based on current motor theories and are designed to target muscle groups and movement patterns with the aim of improving pencil control. The resources were designed by an occupational therapist with over 25 years experience in the field of learning difficulties and an interest in handwriting.

Contact: 021 715 6719, info@ thehappyhandwriter.co.za or visit thehappyhandwriter.co.za

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books

a good read for toddlers

Bear Takes a Trip

By Stella Blackstone and Debbie Harter (Published by Barefoot Books, R70) Bear and his friend are taking a trip to the mountains. Tell the time with them as they make their way to their destination via different modes of transport. The story is told in snappy rhyme: “Bear has a very long journey to make; there are lots of things for him to take.” At the back of the book are fun time-telling exercises. This sturdy board book is recommended for children from the age of two to five. Other books in the very popular Bear series include Bear’s Busy Family, Bear in Sunshine, Bear’s Birthday and Bear on a Bike.

for preschoolers Freddy and Frieda’s Traveling Tales: Meet the Families

By Claudia Eicker-Harris and Marina Shupik

play along

Animal Fun

By Brenda Apsley and Jeannette O’Toole (Published by Human & Rousseau, R60) Children from the age of two to five can have fun with all the animal friends by opening the foldout pages and turning the picture wheel. They can help the cat find her ball of wool or see which animals have spots and which have stripes. They can see who is big and who is small and join in and growl like a tiger or honk like a sea lion. With the clever use of real-life photographs, young children can look for ladybugs, learn about colours and marvel at a baby panda and koala.

(Published by My Family!, R173) This is the first book in a series where Freddy and Frieda the field mice travel the world meeting different kinds of people, teaching tolerance and sharing heartwarming stories. Meet the Families is about some of the children and families that they have come to know on their travels. Written in rhythmic style, this story celebrates the different family structures, and helps children see that every family is special in their own way, and also shows that despite their differences they all have one thing in common: love. It is available at book stores and on myfamilyproducts.net

The South African Alphabet

By Alex Latimer

the A–Z in South African

(Published by Puffin Books, R120) Alex Latimer’s splendidly South African illustrations make learning the alphabet as easy as 1-2-3. A is for aloe, B is for braai, C is for Currie Cup… your child will learn their letters by identifying familiar South African objects throughout this book.

for early graders Yoga Pretzels

By Tara Guber, Leah Kalish, Baron Baptiste and Sophie Fatus (Published by Barefoot Books, R157) Here are 50 fun yoga activities for children and adults.

Each card describes in detail a yoga exercise and covers breathing, playful and creative games, balance, practicing standing to become stable, strong and grounded, the forward bend, the back bend, twists and stretches as well as tips to have fun and how to unwind, rest and revive. Each exercise is accompanied by an explanation of how you will benefit and there are clear guidelines that you can follow to plan your practice. Baron Baptiste is a father of three boys and has transformed yoga teaching in the United States and Europe.

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100% Unofficial Olympic Poems

By Brian Moses and Roger Stevens

don to Lon with rhyme

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R71) This is a brilliant, funny and inspiring collection of poems about sport and sporting events of every kind for children from the age of seven. There are poems about PE lessons, sports days and the final of the men’s 100m race. There are poems about winning and about taking part; poems about having all the right kit but no talent; poems about being a team player and poems about being a hero. This book is packed with sporting gems of all kinds and even includes a poem about an egg-andspoon race.

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books

for us

for preteens and teens The Paradise Trap

By Catherine Jinks inspir

(Published by Quercus, R111) Eleven-year-old Marcus loves video games and hates the beach, so he is not happy when his mom Holly drags him to Diamond Beach.

Once there, Holly meets her childhood friend Coco, who is on holiday with her electronics-obsessed husband, Sterling Huckstepp, and their children. Opening a door into the basement of Holly’s caravan, the Huckstepp’s son Edison discovers the most amazing amusement park – whoever opens a door in the basement finds themselves in their very own dream vacation. But then it becomes impossible to escape, and it all begins to feel like a nightmare: Marcus, Holly and the Huckstepps find themselves trapped in a matrix of terrifying dreamscapes peopled with strange characters that will allow them to do anything they want, except leave.

The Book of Potentially Catastrophic Science

By Sean Connolly

ation

Healing Foods

By Margaret Roberts Steve Jobs – The Man who thought different

By Karen Blumenthal

science for the brave

(Published by Workman Publishing, R138) Children between the ages of 10 and 13 can sink their teeth into this science fest. There are 50 experiments that demonstrate the principles behind the greatest scientific breakthroughs in human history. They can learn how to launch a bottle rocket into the air, peer through a microscope made out of water, prove atomic theory with food colouring, recreate the Large Hadron Collider using marshmallows, parachute an egg from an upstairs window, distil DNA from a half-eaten banana and spark lightning in their mouths. Warning: great science means taking risks and these experiments may get messy. Adult supervision is recommended.

(Published by Feiwel & Friends, R87) From the start, his path was never predictable. Steve Jobs was given up for adoption at birth, dropped out of college and at the age of 20, created Apple with his friend Steve Wozniack. Then came the hallmark of his genius – his exacting moderation for perfection, his counterculture lifeapproach, and his level of style that pushed all boundaries. He became the ultimate CEO, and made the world want every product he touched.

(Published by Briza Publications, R236) With Healing Foods, prolific author Margaret Roberts brings nature’s pharmacy into our homes and lives. Step by step, and easily accessible, Margaret showcases the super foods and warns against the danger foods.

She lists the ailments we suffer from, offering comforting natural ways of correcting and rebuilding our health and regaining our vitality. More than 150 common and lesserknown vegetables, fruits, herbs, spices and other plant foods that are the building blocks of good health are described in full, covering aspects such as the plant’s history and origin, instructions on how to grow the plant, medicinal uses and major nutrients and ideas on how to include the plant in your diet, along with recipes.

parenting books The Antenatal Guide Presented by Leanne Manas

Top 100 Meals in Minutes

By Annabel Karmel

(Published by Rooftop Productions, R249,95) The guide comes with a nine-session DVD with leading professionals including Dr Blaine Robson, Donah Rosser, Dr Ruth Greeff, Sr Natalie Guscott, Dr Michael Greeff and Dr Natascha Andrews. Part of the package deal is a pregnancy journal, sections on taking care of your body during pregnancy, planning the birth, what to expect during labour, how to prepare for the birth and coping with labour, as well as when labour and birth need assistance and how it works. There are tips on Caesarean birth, what to expect when your baby has arrived, your bond with your baby and your baby’s development. The book also comes with journal stickers as well as an exercise chart. To order, visit antenatalguide.com or sms TAG to 43366 and they will contact you.

(Published by Random House Struik, R165) Time with your children is precious for every parent, so you don’t want to spend hours in the kitchen preparing food. This book comes to the rescue with recipes that require minimal time and effort, but are still delicious and nutritionally balanced. Annabel Karmel, a leading authority on how to feed children, takes away the stress of what to cook to keep your children healthy and happy, providing age-appropriate, delicious meals for babies and toddlers. Easy-to-follow instructions, combined with great photography, and handy time guides for each recipe, make this the go-to book for any parent who has to juggle their time but also wants the best for their children.

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calendar

what’s on in august

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

17 fri

special events

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FUN for children

34

only for parents

35

bump, baby & tot in tow

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how to help

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SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Crow tours A chance to see and learn about wild animals that are being rehabilitated.

Jomba! See innovative and fascinating dance performances by local and international artists.

Bargains 4 babies market Offers a wide range of good quality preowned baby products.

The Stars in Education competition Honours teachers who go above and beyond the call of duty.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

The National Transplant Games August is organ donor month, and to celebrate new life, adults and children who have received transplants compete in sporting events.

4

SPECIAL EVENTS 3 friday 16 South African Women’s Arts Festival Poetry, drama, dance and music celebrate women and highlight important issues. Ends 11 August. Time: varies. Venue: The Playhouse, Durban CBD. Cost: varies.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Reach for your Slippers Wear slippers for the day and help Reach for a Dream.

Cost: stickers R10 at Milady’s or Reach for a Dream. Contact: 031 566 2220, prkzn@reachforadream.org.za or visit reachforadream.org.za

sat

th

4 saturday Pregnancy and baby workshop Expectant moms and dads can enjoy educational talks. Time: 9am–12pm.

Venues: Life Chatsmed Garden, Life Mount Edgecombe, Life The Crompton, and Life Westville Hospital. Cost: free. Contact: lisa. thomas@lifehealthcare.co.za St Augustine’s School food and flea market This is a fundraising event to help the school with its running costs.

Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: 7 Sydenham Rd, Greyville. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 206 1479, 076 899 5510, helpfind4u@gmail. com or visit helpfind4u.wozaonline.co.za

5 sunday Andrew Walford’s studio open day Time: 10am–6pm. Venue: M46S, Shongweni Valley. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 769 1363, 082 794 7796 or visit andrewwalford.co.za

This workshop teaches parents about the art of play according to Dr Fred Donaldson, author of Playing By Heart. Ends 5 August. Time: 8:30am. Venue: Wilderness Leadership School, Stainbank Nature Reserve, Coedmore Ave. Cost: R700 per day.

Contact Kathryn: 031 462 8642 or kathryn@wildernessleadershipschool.co.za

HCA Crestfest A children’s art festival with school showcases, choirs, dancers and orchestras. Time: 9am. Venue: Hillcrest Christian Academy, Greenmeadow Lane, Hillcrest. Cost: varies. Contact Karen: 031 765 2752 or kedley@hca.org.za

9 thursday

18 saturday

Women’s Day at Akimbo There is a book stand with selected books by Focus on the Family plus food and sweet treats.

Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Akimbo Kids, Drummond. Cost: children R20. Contact: 031 783 7892 or visit akimbo.co.za

Johnson’s Baby Sense Seminar 2012 Medical professionals discuss sleep, feeding, development and baby’s health with parents. Time: 8am–5:30pm. Venue: Riverside Hotel, Durban North. Cost: workshop R120, seminar R260. Contact Samantha: 021 461 4669, babysense@ go4word.co.za or visit babysense.com

11 saturday

8 August – HCA Crestfest

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17 friday Kevin Perkins a.k.a Mike Naicker With stories of life on an international stage.

Ends 18 August. Time: 8pm. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com National Transplant Games Athletes who have received organ or bone marrow transplants compete in multisport events.

Twenty children also compete this year. Ends 18 August. Time and venue: 17 August: 9am–11am, King’s Park Aquatic Centre; 18 August: 9am–5pm, King’s Park Athletic Stadium. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 465 0936 or visit transplantsports.org.za

8 wednesday

Choc Walk to Sani This walk raises awareness for children with cancer and funds raised go to Choc. The distance is 9km, with a one-kilometre incline.

Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Sani Pass. Cost: R175. Contact Joy: 031 764 4827 or dbn@ choc.org.za

André Rieu The maestro and his orchestra entertain audiences. Time: 8pm. Venue: ICC, Durban CBD. Cost: R400–R950. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Special Stars Pay tribute to the rhythm and melodies of South African music. Ends 7 October. Time: varies. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R135, Wednesday– Saturday; R100, Tuesday and Sunday. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres. co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

22 wednesday

Original Play

Eden Fresh Fest A day festival promoting fresh and organic foods and green awareness. There are children’s shows, an eco-playpark, games and workshops, a fashion show, talks and a flea market. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: cnr Dan Pienaar Rd and Baines Rd, Glenwood. Cost: free entry.

Contact: jeanvanelden@gmail.com

21 tuesday

Burn the Floor World-class ballroom and Latin-American dancers sizzle in this theatrical experience. Ends 2 September Time: varies. Venue: Playhouse Opera Theatre, Durban CBD. Cost: R80–R285.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

23 thursday The Good Food and Wine Show The programme includes celebrity chefs, the Lindt Chocolate Theatre and cooking workshops. Children can meet CBeebies presenter Sid. Ends 26 August. Time: 10am.

Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre. Cost: R50–R80. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com or goodfoodandwineshow.co.za Trekking the Himalayas Cape Union Mart and Wild Frontiers tell you everything you need to know about trekking these mountains. Time: 6:15pm. Venue: Cape Union Mart, Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: free. For more info: visit capeunionmart.co.za/events

20 monday Night of 100 Stars A star-studded event which raises funds for Cansa. Time: 6pm.

Venue: Suncoast Casino. Cost: R400 per person; R4 000 per table. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com

21 August – André Rieu

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calendar

25 saturday Saturn Pre-primary Pamper Day A ladies’ day with a flea market, beauty treatments, craft activities, lunch and entertainment. Book treatments and activities in advance.

Time: 8:30am. Venue: Saturn Preprimary, Saturn Rd, Westville. Cost: varies. Contact: 082 785 2714 or claire@theicingontop.co.za

26 sunday Mind, Body, Soul Fair Explore 4 August – Cooking cooks mental, spiritual and physical wellness with plenty of health exhibitions, submits the most entries being awarded talks, products and food. Time: 10am–4pm.

R10 000. Entries close 3 September. For Venue: Westville Civic Centre, Buckingham children 6–14 years. Download the entry Terrace. Cost: free entry. Contact Shalini: form online and hand deliver to: HDI Youth 072 428 3431 Marketers, The White House, 168 Grosvenor Rd, Bryanston, or post it to: Animation 29 wednesday Generation Competition Entries, Postnet Jomba! Contemporary Dance Experience Suite 331, Private Bag X 51, Bryanston, 2012.

With national and international performers.

For more info: visit cartoonnetworkafrica.

Ends 9 September. Time: varies. Venue: com/animationgeneration Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre and other venues. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 260 2506 classes, talks and workshops or visit cca.ukzn.ac.za Art classes For children 9 and older. Time: 3:30pm–4:30pm, every Thursday. Venue: 31 friday 128 Manfred Dr, Durban North. Cost: R95 Kamberg Karma This family mountain per lesson. Contact Suzette: 074 178 9388 biking adventure focuses on riding for the or sdyson@remax-panache.co.za scenery. Ends 2 September. Time: varies.

Cooking cooks Hands-on cooking lessons Venue: Glengarry, Highmoor Rd, Kamberg. for children 8 years and older. 4 August.

Cost: R300–R1 320. Contact: 033 267 7225, Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: 90 Dawncliffe info@glengarry.co.za or visit glengarry.co.za Rd, Westville. Cost: R150. Contact: 031 266 The Baby Expo MamaMagic An 8488 or debbie.solomon@eastcoast.co.za exhibition, with speakers, nappy-changing Core 4 Kids Physical classes build upper body and breast-feeding rooms, and more. For the and muscle strength. For children 6–9 years. children there is a sing-along Barney show Time: 2pm–3pm or 3pm–4pm, Monday and and play area. Ends 2 September. Time: Tuesday. Venue: Danville Ave, Glenashley.

9am–6pm. Venue: ICC, Durban CBD. Cost: Cost: R70. Contact: 074 101 2616 R65, children under 10 free. Book through Craft art classes Time: 2:30pm–3:30pm, Computicket: visit computicket.com every Thursday. Venue: Park Dr, Westville.

Cost: R300 per month. Contact Tamaryn: 083 448 6398 or visit tinytotart.co.za FUN FOR CHILDREN Drumkidz sessions Children drum to stories, songs and games. Time and venue: art, culture and science 1:30pm–2pm, every Tuesday, Twin Falls Fun First Friday Visitors to the KZN Spur, Kloof; also 3pm–3:30pm, every Sciencentre enjoy exhibits, craft stations, Wednesday, Durban North, and Thursday, DIY experiments and display workshops on Salt Rock. Cost: Tuesdays free, term fees the first Friday of the month. Price includes R310. Contact: 083 631 6064, robynne@ rides at Mr Funtubbles. 3 August. Time: drumkidz.co.za or visit drumkidz.co.za 9am–9pm. Venue: Upper level, Gateway Little Cooks Club For educational cooking Theatre of Shopping. Cost: R60. Contact lessons. Time: varies. Venue: The Coffee Celiwe: 031 566 8040 Nut Café, Link Hills Shopping Centre, The Amazing World of Gumball Use Waterfall. Cost: varies. Contact Simone: your imagination to draw the newest 082 891 4050, simonec@littlecooksclub. student to join Gumball at Elmore Junior co.za or visit littlecooksclub.co.za High School in this year’s Animation Medina yoga for children For children Generation competition, brought to you 4–7 years old. Time: 2:30pm, Tuesday–

by Cartoon Network. The top three entries Thursday. Venue: 63 Kensington Dr, Durban stand a chance of winning iPads, Blackberry North. Cost: R50. Contact: 079 881 7199 or cellphones and iPods; with the school that medinayoga@gmail.com

A Splash of Red Three artists share their interpretation of “A Splash of Red”. 30 August–4 September.

Time: 6pm, opening night; 9am, Thursday–Saturday and Monday–Tuesday. Venue: The Green Gallery, Mt Edgecombe. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 502 2757

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Meditation for children For children 5–12 years; parents welcome. 10 August.

Time: 10am–11:15am. Venue: Mahasiddha Buddhist Centre, Malvern. Cost: R10. Contact: 031 464 0984, info@meditateindurban.org or visit meditateindurban.org

family outings Book Fair Time: varies. Venue: schools throughout Durban, North Coast and Highway area. Cost: free entry. Contact Kathy: 031 705 7744, info@books2you. co.za or visit books2you.co.za uShaka Kids World Children 2–12 years can enjoy creative and adventurous activities. Tiny tots and parents are also catered for. Time: 9am–6pm, Wednesday– Sunday. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: adults R10, children R45. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play 1000 Hills Bird Park Meet rare and exotic birds or take a ride on the zip line.

Time: 8am–4pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 1 Clement Stott Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: adults R25, children R15. Contact: 072 927 8242 or visit 1000hillsbirdpark.co.za Crow tours Visit the enclosures for animals in rehabilitation and see the environmental education centre. 26 August. Time: 11am.

Venue: 15A Coedmore Rd, Yellowwood Park.

Cost: R25. Contact: 031 462 1127 The Animal Farmyard Offers daily milking demonstrations, and pony, tractor and foefie slide rides. Time: 9am–4:30pm, daily; milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za

markets Essenwood Market Fresh food and children’s activities. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Essenwood Rd. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com I Heart Market 4 August. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Masabalala Yengwe Ave, Stamford Hill. Contact: thejoyteam@gmail.com Kloof Country Market 4 and 18 August. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: Robyndale Centre, 10 Msenga Rd, Kloof.

Contact Linda: 082 454 3181 or linda@ healinghandskzn.co.za Shongweni Farmer’s and Craft Market Time: 6:30am–10:30am, every Saturday. Venue: cnr Kassier Rd and Alverstone Rd, Assagay. Contact Christine: 083 777 1674, info@shongwenimarket. co.za or visit shongwenimarket.co.za The Food Market 25 August. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: The Hellenic Community Centre, Durban North. Contact: 084 505 0113, info@thefoodmarket.co.za or visit thefoodmarket.co.za Umhlanga Antiques Fair 19 August.

Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Umhlanga Centre, 189 Ridge Rd, Umhlanga Rocks. Contact James: 082 821 9031 Village Green open days With charity shops, a tea garden, live music, children’s activities and a nursery. Time: 8am–12pm, every Saturday. Venue: 29 Village Rd, Village Green, Kloof. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 764 1212/3 or visit kloofspca.co.za magazine durban

Drumkidz weekly sessions at Twin Falls Spur

Wonder Market Children’s entertainment, jewellery, food vendors and more. 5 August.

Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Chris Saunders Park, Gateway. Cost: free entry. Contact: 079 747 7661, wonder@wondermarket.co.za or visit wondermarket.co.za

on stage and screen Family Movie Week Disney Channel brings you a selection of classic movies, such as Aladdin: King of Thieves as well as some Disney Channel original movies, including the brand new Let it Shine. 20–26 August.

Time: 5pm. Venue: DStv Channel 303. For more info: visit disney.co.za

playtime and story time Children’s story time A story followed by a craft or activity. For ages 3–8 years. Time: 10am, every Saturday. Venue: 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Steam train rides At the Durban Society of Model Engineers. 12 and 26 August.

Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 per ride. Contact Gerald: 031 205 1089 or 082 569 1383 Story time Little ones can enjoy a story and colouring in. Time: 10am, every Saturday. Venue: Akimbo Kids, Drummond.

Cost: children R20 entry. Contact: 031 783 7892 or visit akimbo.co.za

sport and physical activities Belly Little Belly dance classes For girls 5–10 years old. Time and venues: 4:30pm–5:15pm, every Monday, Sunningdale; 3pm–3:45pm, every Thursday, Glenwood. Cost: R100 per month. Contact: 082 829 3658 or senta@mayadance.co.za Taekwondo Tornados For exercise and core strength. For children 3–6 years.

Time: 3:30pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Westville Central Library. Cost: R120 per month. Contact Sam: 082 876 0628 or sillymischief@gmail.com The Dance Academy Ballet class for 5–6 year olds. Time: 1:30pm–2:30pm, every Thursday. Venue: Kloof Civic Hall, Old Main Rd, Kloof. Cost: R550 per term. Contact: 072 483 6222 or mcclark@mweb.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Artbeat Studios Oil painting classes for beginners. 14 and 15 August. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: The Well, Ballito.

Cost: R450. Contact: 032 586 3372 or artbeat@mweb.co.za August 2012

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calendar Baking classes and book club dinners A four-part baking course: 4 August. Easy dinners for book clubs: 15 August. Time: varies. Venue: 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 764 6577 or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za Beginners in Abstract Art Classes to learn basic art techniques. Time: 10am–12pm, every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Venue: off Ridge Rd, Overport. Cost: R120.

Contact: 073 223 6565 Introduction to Buddhism This course explores basic Buddhist views. 12 August.

Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: Mahasiddha Buddhist Centre, 2 Hollings Rd, Malvern.

Cost: R160. Contact: 031 464 0984, info@meditateindurban.org or visit meditateindurban.org Mobile Pilates in Motion One-on-one or duet pilates classes in your home. Time: varies, Monday–Friday. Venue: Morningside, Durban North or Upper Highway. Cost: R250 per session. Contact Laura-May: 082 443 4533 or info@pilatesinmotion.co.za Montessori Teacher Training Information session for 2013 enrolments.

16 August. Time: 5pm–6:30pm. Venue: Ocean View Montessori School, 32 Oxford Dr, Durban North. Cost: tbc. Contact: info@montessorisa.co.za North Coast Art group Photographer Harry Lock gives a demonstration. 11 August. Time: 9:15am–12pm. Venue: 2 Newport Ave, Virginia. Cost: members R20, visitors R30. Contact Jeannette: 082 963 5352 or Aimee: 083 564 2493 Permaculture design course A 12-day design course. 13–18 and 20–25 August.

Time: 8:30am–3pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: R4 500. Contact: 031 322 4021 or dbginfo@durban.gov.za Pilates Precision Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm, every Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: 9 Anthony Dr, Gillitts. Cost: 4 classes R280. Contact Sarah: 071 183 4161 or sarahxevans@hotmail.com Portraits in oil Advanced painting class.

30–31 August. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Simbithi Eco-Estate, Ballito. Cost: R500.

Contact: 082 486 2126 or visit jjdigby.com Weight loss challenge A 12-week course.

1 August. Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm. Venue: Umhlanga Rocks. Cost: R350. Contact: 082 852 4890 or tracy.mills@telkomsa.net

on stage and screen 16th South African Women’s Arts Festival Supports women’s art and showcases productions. 3–11 August. Time:

varies. Venue: The Playhouse, Durban CBD. Cost: varies. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com André Rieu 21 August. Time: 8pm. Venue: ICC, Durban CBD. Cost: R400–R950. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Burn the Floor Performances by ballroom and Latin-American dancers. 22 August–2 September Time: varies. Venue: Playhouse Opera Theatre, Durban CBD. Cost: R80– R285. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Jomba! Contemporary Dance Experience The festival features Jomba! City, an interactive, outdoor dance event on 31 August. 29 August–9 September. Time: varies. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre and other venues. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 260 2506 or visit cca.ukzn.ac.za

Edubabe Childminder training, first aid workshops and cooking classes. Time: varies.

Venue: Glenwood. Cost: varies. Contact: 071 968 1007 or durban@edubabe.co.za Infant massage class Time: varies.

Venue: varies. Cost: varies. Contact Dana: 076 387 5425, peace@nurture-now.com or visit nurture-now.com PreggiBellies Fitness classes for preand postnatal moms. Time: varies, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Venue: Underground Fitness Club, Lighthouse Mall, Umhlanga. Cost: varies. Contact: 0860 723 559 or visit preggibellies.co.za Pregnancy or Moms and Baby Yoga Time: varies. Venue: Centre for Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: varies. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za

support groups

Clamber Club Movement and stimulation classes for children 1–4 years old. Time: varies. Venues: Ballito, Hillcrest and Kloof.

Cost: varies. Contact Ballito: 076 222 2946, Hillcrest: 084 577 7630 or Kloof: 083 259 2746 or visit clamberclub.com Lucky Bean An indoor play barn and garden. Time: 9am–4pm, Tuesday–Sunday.

Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: R20.

Contact: 082 216 3892 or visit luckybean.co Moms and Tots and Moms and Babes workshops Time: varies. Venue: branches in Amanzimtoti, Umhlanga, Durban North, Highway and Glenwood. Cost: varies.

Contact: info@momsandtots.co.za or visit momsandbabes.co.za or momsandtots.co.za Toptots For children 8 weeks–4 years.

Time: varies. Venues: Durban North, Ballito, Glenwood, Kloof, Hillcrest, Westville and Hilton. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791 or visit toptots.co.za

Adhasa Support Groups Contact Stuart: 031 298 8896 or Robin: 082 499 1344 Autism support Informal coffee mornings are held four times a year. Contact: 083 443 8385 or dimaitland@tiscali.co.za Bipolar Kids South Africa Contact Elisa: 082 780 6335 or Lee: 083 227 2304, bpkidssa@mweb.co.za or visit bpkidssouthafrica.co.za Born Sleeping Parents bereaved by stillbirths, miscarriages or neonatal death can share their experiences. Contact: 084 524 1541/2, bornsleeping@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page: Born Sleeping Childhood cancer parent support Contact: 084 831 3683 or visit choc.org.za Hi Hopes Home intervention programme for children who are deaf or hard of hearing.

Contact: 082 897 1632, dianne.goring@ hihopes.co.za or visit hihopes.co.za Overeaters Anonymous Contact: 031 708 6014 or 083 456 6971 Reach for Recovery Breast Cancer Support Group Contact: 031 205 9525 or 072 248 0008 Speak Easy For those who stutter. Contact: 082 786 3718 or visit speakeasy.org.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops 2x2 Stroller Training A fun, fitness class with your baby. Moms must get their doctor’s permission before joining.

Time: 10am–11am, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Venue: Mitchell Park, Morningside. Cost: R500 per month.

Contact: 072 244 3669, bronwyn@ fit4health.co.za or visit fit4health.co.za Bargains 4 Babies Market Day Find used baby bargains. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: Springside Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: free entry.

Contact Janet: 074 106 1714 or watson. janet@telkomsa.net or Sarah: 074 121 7387 or slowe101@hotmail.co.uk

it’s party time

For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

playtime and story time

support groups Durban New Moms support group Time: 9:30am, every Friday. Venue: Durban North. Cost: free. Contact Alexandra: 031 562 9253 or 083 788 0689 La Leche League For breast-feeding support. Contact Jane: 031 309 1801 Mothers 2 Baby For new and old moms.

Booking essential. Time: 10am–11:30am, third Thursday. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, Kassier Rd. Cost: free. Contact Hayley: 078 640 7949

how to help Love the Babies project Baby goodies are given to new mothers in disadvantaged areas. Contact: robinhoodfund@telkomsa. net or visit robinhoodfoundation.co.za The Stars in Education competition Scholars, parents, teachers and the public can nominate community projects that have been started by exceptional teachers. Contact: 021 865 2813 or info@argo.org.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za or fax it to 031 207 3429. Information must be received by 3 August 2012 for the September issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za Belly Little Belly dance classes

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finishing touch

working from home It’s time to set the record straight about what stay-at-home moms and those on maternity leave really do all day, says ANÉL LEWIS.

i

spotted a fantastic “what society thinks I do/what I actually do” photo story about stay-at-home moms on a parenting website that really struck a chord. It has six frames, starting with “what society thinks I do” – an image of a woman sitting on the couch, in comfortable slippers, reading a magazine. The next frame, “what my mom thinks I do”, is of a mother working on her computer, while her angelic baby plays quietly next to her. In another frame, “what my husband wishes I did”, a beautifully-groomed wife is making a delicious home-cooked meal. And then, in the final frame, “what I actually do”, there is a harried-looking mother with a baby in each arm.

I can relate. Except in my case, the final image would be me with a soggy Vienna stuck in my unwashed hair and curdled

milk vomit on my shoulder; a crying baby in one arm and a toddler clinging to the other. Although I am not a stay-at-home mom, I have been at home for the past few months on maternity leave and the photo story, or meme, is just as apt.

There is a gross misconception out there that maternity leave is a glorious three-month break from work, where mothers get to spend idyllic hours bonding with their babies.

A friend, who happens to be male, remarked recently when I complained about being tired, “But you’re on maternity leave. Don’t you just lie in bed all day with your babies?”

Er... not quite.

Firstly my “day” starts early, like 2am in the morning kind of early. Conor, my twomonth old, has his day and night confused,

so he does most of his feeding in the wee hours of the morning. He usually dozes off at about 5am, but Erin is awake by 7am, so there is no chance of that supposed lie-in.

Secondly, as I am not technically “working”, I do most of the night-time feeds so that my husband can get a decent night’s sleep. But even though I may not spend my day in an office, doing an eightto-five job, I don’t think I have ever worked harder. My day is a seemingly endless slog of bottles, laundry and cleaning.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s a job that I love doing. I really do enjoy spending this precious time with my children. My beef is not with the work load as such, but with the perception that moms who stay at home are on some kind of sabbatical.

There is definitely no time for lazy lie-ins or daytime TV. The closest I come

to watching television is checking the screen on Conor’s baby monitor while he’s having a nap. Also, that notion of “sleep while your baby sleeps” is a fallacy. I have more chance of qualifying for the London Olympic Games than I have of getting Erin and Conor to sleep at the same time, just so that I can catch forty winks.

I also don’t get much opportunity to break away for mid-morning sessions at the gym, or afternoon coffee dates with friends, despite what my husband sometimes thinks.

No, maternity leave is definitely not a holiday. In fact, I am thinking of cutting mine short, so that I can go back to work for some rest.

Anél Lewis is Child magazine’s features editor. She’s back at work after a wonderful, but busy, four months on maternity leave.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SUSIE LEBLOND

Anél and Erin