free
DURBAN’s
december 2009 january 2010 Issue 30 Circulation 35 154
D U R B A N ’ s
b e s t
g u i d e
f o r
p ar e n t s
www.childmag.co.za
+ 50
things to do
from to
during the holidays
boy
man
surviving
christmas
raising great men
finding the calm in the festive chaos
holiday time
what’s on in dec & jan
health
education
entertainment
Every month I am blown away by the letters that stream into our office... So many of you take the time to email, fax or write to us about issues you care about; mostly your Ju children and the challenges you face lia n, Lis in raising them. So in this, my last letter aa nd R obyn of the year, I would like to say a big “thank you!”. Thanks for reading our articles, our letters and our blogs, and thanks for responding and raising other issues close to your heart. Thank you for putting ideas in our heads and allowing us to share them with all the parents and educators who read our magazines every month. Next year Cape Town’s ChildTM turns six, Joburg’s ChildTM turns five and Durban’s ChildTM will be three! In celebration, we will be increasing our circulation by 5 000 in each city in an attempt to reach some of the schools and businesses currently on our waiting lists. Thank you for taking our magazines into your home and for being so supportive of our advertisers who make the magazines possible. We couldn’t have done it without you, and for this we are incredibly grateful! May your December and January be filled with fun, laughter and a lot less routine.
P.S. Here’s to tea and toast at 10am, no school run and not a project in sight!
Hunter House P U B L IS H I N G
Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za
Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Acting Features Editor Donna Cobban • features@childmag.co.za Calendar Editor Tracy Ellis • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za
monthly circulation Cape Town’s ChildTM 40 103 Joburg’s ChildTM 39 849 Durban’s ChildTM 35 154
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Art Senior Designer Samantha Summerfield • sam@childmag.co.za Designers Mariette Barkhuizen Nikki-leigh Piper
Advertising Director Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za
Client Relations Client Relations Manager Michele Jones • michele@childmag.co.za Client Relations Consultant Cheryl Rowell • cheryl@childmag.co.za
To Subscribe Helen Xavier • subs@childmag.co.za
Accounts Helen Xavier • helen@childmag.co.za Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680
durban’s
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Durban’s Child TM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: 1st Floor, MB House, 641 Ridge Road, Overport, 4091. Tel: 031 209 2200, fax: 031 207 3429, email: durban @ childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Durban’s Child TM . We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may arise from reading them.
December 2009/January 2010
contents
december 2009 january 2010
upfront
16
3 a note from lisa 6 over to you readers respond
features 12 a question of clothes dressing your child is fun, whether it’s handmade, a hand-me-down or off the peg, says Jeannne Maclay-Mayers
20
16 mother and son Donna Cobban looks at what it takes to raise a good man
regulars
18 when they’re too quiet… 8 wins
when your children haven’t made a peep for some time, something could be wrong. By Laura Twiggs
9 health Q&A
20 surviving Christmas
why your body needs calcium
the season of goodwill can also be the season of family strife, says Laura Twiggs
10 upfront with paul the 4x4 craze has finally hit Paul Kerton’s home
22 poker face is poker just a game, or are you teaching your child to gamble? Jeannne Maclay-Mayers investigates
50-plus great family day outings
30 the good book guide
24 spice it up
26 resource: hooray for holidays!
azeeha Abrahams shares some N spicy recipes from her latest book, More Than Samoosas
fill up your Christmas stockings with new reads for the whole family 32 what’s on in december
and january
38 last laugh
24
Sam Wilson has learnt that the end of year play says a lot about the calibre of your child’s school
classified ads 36 family marketplace 37 it’s party time
this month’s cover images are supplied by:
Pumpkin Patch Kids Clothing pumpkinpatchsa.co.za
December 2009/January 2010
comstockcomplete.com
Pumpkin Patch Kids Clothing pumpkinpatchsa.co.za
durban’s
durban’s
December 2009/January 2010
letters
over to you gift time Firstly, thank you for a great magazine. I find it very informative and interesting. I read the blog on giving gifts to teachers by Drew Bright and was reminded of an incident that took place when my youngest child was still in junior primary school. It was near the end of the last term and one of the other mothers was bemoaning the cost of all the presents she “had” to buy for the teacher, headmistress and secretary. I have four children ranging in age from 29 to 10 and I have never bought presents for the teachers. My children were totally disinterested in doing so, and I don’t feel the need to give a perfect stranger a gift for doing her job. By all means, get the teacher something if you want to, but do it for exactly that reason – because you want to. Lesley Milne
shopping horror My daughter is an average to above average-sized child. She is not the smallest in her class but she is by no means the biggest and she would now fit into a nine- to 10-year-old top and 11 to 12- or 13 to 14-year-old bottom. I do realise that there has to be a norm, but where are they getting the norm from? Petite Chinese children or robust South African children? My biggest problem is the age tag as opposed to the size tag. I want to dress my daughter according to her age, not her size, but if I am to buy what is available for her size, it is entirely inappropriate for her age. When my daughter was 18 months old, she was too big for 18- to 24-month-old clothing. I found myself looking in the two to threeyear-old section and was appalled at what was available! I found the clothing to be sexy and promiscuous. These clothes also had no room to accommodate a nappy. Most children only potty train between the ages of two and three. Why must our children grow up before their time? Can’t they just be children doing what children do? Debbie Hutton
December 2009/January 2010
not so sweet Thanks for a solid magazine. I would like to compliment the entire team for a very consistent publication, a true rarity these days. I am a single mom and would like to comment on an experience I have every time I go to the local grocery store with my toddler: sweeties at the tills! Can someone please explain to me why the very same market that these stores target (parents) is forced to put up with hysterical, crying, convulsing children while waiting in the queues? I don’t believe I am alone on this issue. I think it’s the most inconsiderate and careless trick used by retailers to force parents into buying unhealthy, overpriced items that are within arm’s reach. Then, of course, the entire store is looking at you and wondering how you are going to stop that noise coming out of your red-in-the face toddler. I am exhausted by the time I reach my car! My daughter is a well-behaved child until we reach the till points. May I suggest that these clever marketers allocate a few of their tills to moms and dads with children and clean up their acts (tills)? May I also suggest that they dress up a few of the tills with some other healthy replacements such as fruit? I hope that the CEO of some giant grocery chain is actually reading this. Sam Davids
write to us We would like to know what’s on your mind. Send your letters to: marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.
durban’s
durban’s
December 2009/January 2010
wins
giveaways
in december & january
Family fun first Just Fun Toys brings you the electronic game The Kids Are All Right based on the popular BBC TV Show. Has your family got what it takes to face seven super-brainy children in a battle of wits and defeat them in this game of logic, quick thinking and general knowledge? Over a course of five brain-busting rounds your intellect will be stretched to its limit as you try to beat the children and win the cash. This game is ideal for the whole family and children aged 7 years and older and is available at selected mass and independent toy stockists. For more information, call 011 405 3399. Just Fun Toys is giving away The Kids Are All Right game valued at R499.95 to three readers. To enter, email all your details to win@childmag.co.za with ‘Just Fun DBN Win’ in the subject line or post your entry to Just Fun DBN Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 31 January 2010. Only one entry per reader.
Totally stellar Cosmic Fashion Options is the place to buy imported accessories for children for all occasions. The Just Me Preschool range is perfect for young girls and the Back to School range is great for older children. Their other children’s ranges are Summer Splash, Princess, Rock Princess, All that Glitters, Kiddies’ Hosiery, Kiddies’ Basics and Kiddies’ Fashion. For more information on Cosmic Fashion Options, call 011 608 4712. Cosmic Fashion Options is making school cool by giving away four Back To School hair accessory packs worth R500 each, with a total value of R2 000. To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with ‘Cosmic DBN Win’ in the subject line or post your entry to Cosmic DBN Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 31 January 2010. Only one entry per reader.
December 2009/January 2010
King of the holiday camps King’s Camps is a leading sports and activity camp provider, combining the best elements of a holiday club, sports camp and activity holiday into a week of fun and adventure for children. It’s great value for money. King’s Camps is running activity camps during the Easter holidays in April 2010. This will be a fantastic week of fun in a friendly and safe environment, with a superb range of multi-activity programmes for four- to 17-year-olds. Offering over 30 different sports and activities, there’s something for everyone at King’s Camps. For more information, call 031 100 1011 or visit kingscamps.org King’s Camps is giving away a week-long camp to five readers during the Easter holidays in April 2010. Each place is worth R675. To win one of these five spots, answer the following question: How many different sports and activities are covered at King’s Camps? Email your answer to info@sa.kingscamps.org with ‘Camps DBN Win’ in the subject line before 31 January 2010. Only one entry per reader.
Congratulations to our October winners: Angie MacDougall, Shanaz Ghuman, Amelia Els, Mpume Kuzwayo, Norma Nolan, Roslyn Perrins, Rosalie Vlassides, Winile Sokhela, Robyn Maree and Winston Sjouerman, who each win a Blocco set; Bernadette Varner, Elsa Branco, Laurina May, Preya Singh and Nick von Bargen who each win an ADDvance hamper.
durban’s
QA
health &
why our bodies need calcium Where is calcium found in the body? Our bones and teeth make up 99% of the body’s calcium content.
What is the importance of calcium? Calcium is a mineral found in many foods; adequate calcium intake is important because the human body cannot produce calcium. Even after reaching full skeletal growth, adequate calcium intake is important because the body loses calcium every day through the skin, nails, hair and sweat, as well as through urine and faeces. This lost calcium must be replaced daily through the diet. When the diet does not contain enough calcium to perform these activities, calcium is taken from the bones, the storage area for calcium.
What are the best sources of calcium? Low fat dairy products, dark, leafy vegetables such as broccoli, kale and collards; tofu; canned salmon or sardines with bones, and calcium-fortified juice, bread and cereal. Vitamin D is important because it helps your body absorb calcium. Good sources of vitamin D include sunlight, low fat dairy products and fortified cereals.
What if you are lactose intolerant, or personal preferences prevent you from consuming calcium-rich foods? Vitamin and mineral supplements are not the best form of calcium intake, but if you’re aware that your diet lacks calcium-rich foods then taking a supplement is an excellent option. Keep the following guidelines in mind: • Iron interferes with calcium absorption and should not be taken at the same time. • Vitamin C helps calcium to metabolise. • Calcium is most beneficial in two smaller doses than one large dose. • Supplements taken with food are more effectively absorbed. • Sleep is thought to accelerate proper calcium metabolising, so take a supplement at your evening meal.
Why are many calcium supplements combined with magnesium? Magnesium is a mineral that is potentially involved in over 300 enzymatic reactions in the body. Magnesium plays a crucial role in regulating the neuromuscular activity of the heart, maintaining normal heart rhythm, converting blood sugar into energy, and metabolising calcium and vitamin C properly. Deficiency of magnesium can result in calcium depletion.
What are good natural sources of magnesium? Green vegetables such as spinach are good sources of magnesium. Some legumes such as beans and peas, nuts and seeds, and whole, unrefined grains are also good sources of magnesium. Bread made from wholegrain wheat flour provides more magnesium than bread made from refined white flour. Tap water can be a source of magnesium, but the amount varies according to the water supply. Water that naturally contains more minerals is described as “hard”, which means it contains more magnesium than so-called “soft” water.
What is the daily recommended dose of calcium?
• • • • • •
The recommended calcium intake per day is: • Children 0–6 months: 210mg Children 7–12months: 270mg Children 1–3 years: 500mg Children 4–8 years: 800mg Children 9–18 years: 1 300mg Adults 19–50 years: 1 000mg Adults over 50 years:1 200mg
durban’s
December 2009/January 2010
upfront with paul
4x4 fever PAUL KERTON finds that as his circumstances
Paul, Sabina and Saskia
m
y preferred cars of the past have always been bullets: pointy styling and very fast, with not a lot of room for a girlfriend, let alone a family of four with fluffy, yapping hitchhikers – ‘Radar Love’ (I’ve been driving all night, my hands wet on the wheel) most likely blaring from the speakers… It’s amazing how your taste changes according to circumstances. Speed is no longer an issue. When you become a father, the pressure on the accelerator eases and you learn to cruise rather than dart about, more especially now that crafty cops are hiding in trees waiting to snap a portrait.
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December 2009/January 2010
A two-door sports saloon is far too selfish and impractical for a FabDad, which is why a four-by-four beckons. I’ve always been allergic to four-by-fours – my feeling is, if I’d wanted to be a bus driver I would have joined Golden Arrow. Still, there is a point when the four-by-four has its merits. Like when the children start to gather friends, bikes, dogs, big handbags and bigger kitbags. You can’t get three bikes, one with training wheels (that’s mine) in a four-door Audi, without ripping the imitation cowhide to shreds. A Porsche (dream on) Boxter won’t even fit junior golf clubs, although you could feasibly stash the family in a trailer. Can you imagine a Porsche Boxter pulling a caravan though? Very déclassé. I’m struggling to remember the point at which the four-by-four revolution happened. The shoes came first. When I was a child I wouldn’t have been seen dead in shoes that
resembled surgical footwear, but one day the shoe shops were full of normal, sensible shoes, the next you couldn’t buy anything without a 3cm-thick Pirelli-tread sole and steel toecap. How did CAT, a rough-tough manufacturer of heavy-duty earth-moving equipment, become one of the darlings of the sartorial teenager? Marketing genius. Next came the four-by-fours. As the world went hiking-boot mad, transport to wild interiors became necessary. Suddenly you couldn’t buy a car that was less than a metre off the ground. School parking lots were filled with young mothers throwing people-carriers around the car park like Jensen Button, scraping the school gates with glee. It took me a while (slow learner) but I finally understand the four-by-four phenomenon and am willing to embrace it. Yes, now that four-by-fours are unfashionably non-
PC, and everybody else is buying batteryoperated kit cars that organically decay, I want one. But which one? The Defender is far too agricultural and academic, The Land Rover Discovery and Freelander 2 are back from the dead to restore the company’s sterling reputation. Audi’s Q5 and Q7 look like executive squad cars. The BMW X5 may be the Premier’s escort car of choice, but what about Hyundai, Toyota, Renault and Jeep? With children, more than the car, it’s the colour that’s important. Yellow, I joke, “No, Dad, you are not getting a yellow car? If you do, we’re not getting in it,” chorus the girls. Look, I wouldn’t even get a yellow submarine, but I’m seriously bored with Berliner Zilver. Decisions, decisions… Paul Kerton is the author of FabDad – a Man’s Guide to Fathering and 82 Mistakes Parents Make (with Children).
durban’s
PHOTOGRAPH: JILL BADER
change, so too does his taste in cars.
durban’s
December 2009/January 2010
11
feature
Hand-me-downs or off the peg? Home-made or seamstress-sewn? Jeanne Maclay-Mayers searches for the answers.
hen a mom says: “this baby-making factory is now closed,” it means she isn’t going to store away her toddler’s outgrown dungarees “just in case”. Instead, she’s going to pass them down the great hand-me-down chain, perhaps to us. We are very grateful for the bulging plastic bags that we regularly receive from friends and family. Boutique baby-grows, pyjamas with fruit stains, ballet leotards, unmatched socks, a turquoise swimming cap decorated with tiny watermelons – every rummage is a voyage of discovery. In most cases, just as I am about to go clothes shopping I find out that I don’t need to, because everything Tash, my four-year-old daughter, needs has just arrived. Tash’s cousin, Jessica, is a year older than her, which is
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December 2009/January 2010
the perfect gap for hand-me-downs. When I told Tash one day that we were going out to get her bigger shoes she nodded happily and interpreted this for herself, saying: “We’re going to Jessica’s”. “Not today,” I announced. “We’re going to the shops.” Of course, when out shopping for shoes it is easy to be tempted by the new clothes on offer. With guilty pleasure I bought her a handkerchief skirt covered in butterflies. (She has so many skirts at home.) But Tash loves her butterfly skirt and the way it flares out at 360 degrees when she twirls. She also loves choosing her own clothes. Recently she selected a My Little Pony T-shirt and a Hello Kitty swimsuit. The shops have a fabulous range of children’s clothes, and,
durban’s
PHOTOGRAPHS: Pumpkin Patch Kids Clothing, COMSTOCKCOMPLETE.COM, ABLESTOCK.COM
a question of clothes
while for Tash “more is more”, it is even possible to find wholesome garments free of modern icons and logos. There are times when one wants something special; something that is not on offer in the shops. My friends Linda le Roux and Joanne Polzin are talented women who can create that “something special” themselves. Linda whipped up a Po outfit from scratch so that her son Logan could look like the red Teletubby for his second birthday. Joanne knitted a jersey for her daughter Geena (then 4) that had a polar bear curling around one shoulder, and Geena still squeezes herself into this even though she is now eight. But Joanne confesses that she prefers to create accessories that she can be sure of finishing before her children grow too big for them, such as multicoloured beanies and crocheted bags. Joanne says she makes clothes and accessories partly for the creative fun of it all, and partly because she wants her children to feel they have something unique that she has made especially for them. For Joanne: “Putting love
and effort into making something is what distinguishes it from a bought commodity.” Inspired by such efforts I thought – for a moment – of trying to sew Tash a dress. But I soon came to my senses because when it comes to sewing, well, my skills extend to reattaching buttons; I still aspire to hem. But one can always find a seamstress to make one’s dreams a reality. When Tash started refusing to wear jerseys, tracksuit tops and even long-sleeved shirts because they interfered with her vision of how a princess looked, I hatched a plan where we would design some warm winter dresses together that she simply could not resist wearing. So in autumn we visited a fabric factory that is a manylevelled wonder. Then we drew pictures of long-sleeved dresses that could flare into full circles, and I made an appointment to see the skilled seamstress that had made my wedding dress. Gairo Hendricks translated our sketches into beautiful outfits, although not exactly what I had envisioned.
With guilty pleasure I bought her a handkerchief skirt covered in butterflies.
durban’s
For Joanne, “Putting love and effort into making something is what distinguishes it from a bought commodity.”
December 2009/January 2010
13
I suppose that whenever a man wants a woman to dress differently, all sorts of feminist-type issues arise. But when a child asks, the intentions are clear: someone who loves her mom just wants her mom to look the best she can.
I had imagined the dresses flaring at the waist while in reality they flared at the ribs in a traditional empire line. Clearly Gairo was a seamstress used to making formal dresses for flower girls. But as Tash’s dress sense is informed largely by animated fairy tales she was delighted with her new outfits. I am particularly fond of the one we call “Tinkerbell’s winter dress”, which is made of a fluffy green fabric and has a zig-zag hemline at the bottom. Most importantly, the dresses kept Tash warm throughout winter without me having to force her into something she felt was unsightly – and early-morning arguments were kept to a minimum. The new dresses weren’t completely necessary though, as Tash also developed a system where she wore a warm jersey and leggings under her cousin’s old summer dresses. To me she looked a little odd, but her teacher assures us she is setting a new fashion at her preschool. Tash’s latest obsession has been getting me to dress like a princess as well. To her frustration, she was born to the kind of mom that likes to live in jeans and shapeless
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December 2009/January 2010
jerseys, but she is determined to change this. And, while I am unlikely ever to be as interested in clothes as much as she is, I have noticed myself making a bit more effort in what I choose to wear. My husband has been trying to change my dress sense – towards dresses – for years. So, naturally, I have given some thought to why it is that when my daughter asks, I oblige. I suppose that whenever a man wants a woman to dress differently, all sorts of feminist-type issues arise. But when a child asks, the intentions are clear: someone who loves her mom just wants her mom to look the best she can. Sometimes Tash and I go shopping together – not for her – for me. Down the road there is a tiny factory shop that supplies the boutiques around town, and it is closing down soon. While it is unlikely to kit me out like a Disney princess, we are planning to pop in for their closing-down sale, so that I can become the final accessory that young Tash wants: a well-dressed mom.
durban’s
durban’s
December 2009/January 2010
15
feature
motherand son DONNA COBBAN gathers a few helpful tips as she goes about trying to grow a good man.
hen I was little my mother used to tell my sister and me how glad she was that she had girls and not boys “because boys are harder to raise than girls.” Then she would say that the only mother she knew of who had raised fine men was Nancy McLean. Whenever we went to stay with Nancy, whose sons were by then grown, I would sit quietly and marvel at this great mother who had raised great men against the odds. Then, many years later, I gave birth to a boy. I was glad I had a boy and not a girl. There was going to be no temptation to live my unfulfilled childhood dreams through him – no squeezing his feet into pointe shoes to practise his pliés, no need to buy him the entire Barbie house along with requisite Barbie sports car and hair styling salon. Nope, I thought, this was going to be easier than having a girl; my mother must have been wrong. But, just in case, I call her up and ask: “What was it that Nancy McLean did to raise such fine men?”
with everything they did, so if they “Sheweregotintoinvolved cricket, she learnt all about cricket, or if
“
fine one for any young lad to “Thetreadlineinisa aworld that expects him to be a “big boy” before he is big and cares little for his emotional needs.
“
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December 2009/January 2010
“Oh it’s not that hard,” she says. “She got involved with everything they did, so if they were into cricket, she learnt all about cricket, or if they were interested in frogs, she followed suit. In other words, she kept a keen interest in all that they did and, in turn, kept them close.” This is something my old friend Thandi is learning – she who has steered clear of all Bokke-related matters her whole life can now rattle off the names of the team with effortless ease. I am truly impressed, and just a little amazed. For the time being, I am spared from the Saturday afternoon game as my son is only two, but I am staying involved in other ways. I have developed an interest in sand and the endless architectural possibilities contained within these particles – we build sand castles, sand cakes, sand balls and sand sandwiches. We live to encounter sand – in pits, or on beaches and often in cat litter trays. The stuff is everywhere. While I model my mothering on the Nancy McLean style, I still think I need ongoing counsel so I turn to the trusty pages of some renowned books. Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, authors of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys, underline the necessity to give boys an emotional education and stress the importance of staying connected to them, especially when they are feeling confused and bewildered. They say failure to do so can result in a lack of self respect, and cause boys to act impulsively, moved by emotions they cannot name or understand. They then exercise their emotional ignorance in cruel treatment of one another or girls, and could express this inner turmoil in academic failure, depression, drug addiction, alcoholism, troubled relationships or delinquency. The line is a fine one for any young lad to tread in a world that expects him to be a “big boy” before he is big and cares little for his emotional needs. Perhaps my greatest lesson in this area comes from a time when I was teaching a young class of demoralised children. They were the bottom class in the grade and had been given a hard time by a previous teacher. While most of the children were barely taller than my shoulder, there was one boy, Matthew, who towered above me. durban’s
PHOTOGRAPHS: COMSTOCKCOMPLETE.COM, ABLESTOCK.COM
they were interested in frogs, she followed suit.
The class was filled with enthusiasm; they had a new teacher – life was on the up. By the end of the first week I had made a grave error – I had dismissed Matthew over something fairly minor (I think his great height made me think he was a “big boy”, who did not need as much encouragement as the others). He was anything but and my lack of praise was a crushing and cruel blow to this young boy, who was still so little inside. Matthew needs to take all the credit for my now daily vigilance of the “big boy” trap. For advice on what to do when my son really becomes big, I ask an older mother, Elizabeth, about her secret. Sport, she tells me, will help to keep them out of trouble. “Did they drink and drug?” I ask. Sadly, she tells me that alcohol consumption seems to be a given but the bright side is that if they are involved in sport, they have to raise a hung-over head from the bed so they are less likely to overindulge too often. Steve Biddulph, author of the bestselling book Raising Boys, believes that sport can be a double-edged sword in that it can give boys “a sense of belonging, character, self esteem and good health.” But it can also “cripple them in body, warp them in mind, teach them bad values and lead to a crushing sense of failure.” Biddulph suggests that if your son is not good at sports that he finds time to pursue other activities, preferably with his father or a male role model. Try fishing, hiking, bike riding, building model planes and trains, art, music, drama – there are a wealth of things to do together that don’t involve competitive ball throwing and do involve communication or as Biddulph puts it “the simple pleasure of being together”. So there it is again, keeping interested is going to keep them close. Best I go and read up on the rules of rugby… just in case.
durban’s
recommended reading Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon, Michael Thompson and Teresa Barker (Ballintine Books, 2000) Between Mothers and Sons edited by Patricia Stevens (Simon and Schuster, 2001) It’s a boy! Understanding Your Son’s Development from Birth to Age 18 by Teresa Barker and Michael Thompson (Ballintine Books, 2008) Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons by Michael Thompson and Teresa Barker (Ballintine Books, 2000) Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson (Tynedale House Publishers, 2001)
December 2009/January 2010
17
feature
when they’re
too quiet… Every parent longs for a bit of peace and quiet, but you need to be aware of the
diabolical shenanigans and potential danger of too-quiet children, warns LAURA TWIGGS.
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December 2009/January 2010
“
The silence is as deafening as it is all encompassing. You haven’t heard raised voices saying “That’s mine!” or “I’m the teacher” for ages. All you can hear is… nothing.
“
s most parents know, there are different kinds of quiet. There’s good quiet, which is when you know full well that the children are tucked up in their beds, sound asleep. There’s bad quiet, which is the long moment just before a raging tantrum is unleashed. And then there’s the most unnerving sort of quiet of all, when it dawns on you that the house is too quiet, and in a second you realise that it’s been too quiet for far too long. When did you last yell out at the children to keep it down? They’ve been playing noisily all morning and it’s been driving you nuts. You haven’t been able to hear yourself think. But now, the silence is as deafening as it is all encompassing. You haven’t heard raised voices saying “That’s mine!” or “I’m the teacher” for ages. All you can hear is… nothing. It’s the sort of quiet that sends a chill down seasoned parents’ spines, the sort of silence that’s as ominous as an eight-foot-tall Bratz doll wielding an axe and laughing maniacally. It can mean only one thing: they’re up to no good.
For mother-of-twins, Nicola*, this sort of silence is now her cue to reach for the camera and track down her children. “I have learnt to sneak up on them when they’ve been too quiet for too long, because I know that they’re up to something so wild that no one would ever believe me without incontrovertible evidence,” she says. Her photo album bears testimony to her words: there’s a picture of two naughty children covered in white dust
powder gathered around a huge amorphous mass of goo on a previously pristine shag-pile carpet. “That was Fissan paste, three new baby powders and an entire bottle of Chanel No 5,” explains Nicola. “They had decided to make a cake. They were three,” she says. “Now I can smile about it, but at the time it was a disaster. The vacuum wouldn’t suck up all the powder and I never properly got the stain out of that carpet. That was when I started keeping my perfumes well out of reach!” In another photograph, the twins are looking very, very sorry, more than a little scared, and very muddy. “This was shortly before they turned eight,” says Nicola. She doesn’t smile about this one, though. The picture shows the boys in a huge deep hole that looks like an ugly wound in an otherwise immaculate garden. “Apparently, they were playing ‘trenchtrench’. They’d heard about World War I from their granddad and didn’t realise how big they were making the hole,” she says. “I could have killed them. I had thoughts about those
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I have learnt to sneak up on them with a camera when they’ve been too quiet for too long, because I know that they’re up to something so wild that no one would ever believe me without incontrovertible evidence.
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stories of children that die after falling in holes, suffocating, or are buried alive when the holes collapse.” This gets to the very nub of the danger of “too quiet”. It’s one thing for children to take themselves off out of sight and earshot, to spend hours quietly amusing themselves cutting the glossy illustrations out of an expensive set of encyclopaedias, or finger-painting the walls with your new Guerlain KissKiss Gold and Diamonds lipstick that retailed in 2007 at R480 000 a pop. It’s quite another when they stealthily decide to show their friend the workings of dad’s gun. Durban mother Candice was horrified, for example, when she went to investigate what the children were up to after she had noticed the drop in decibel levels and found that her sixyear-old daughter and her little play-date were happily taking turns to lock each other in the boot of her car. In June this year, quiet four-year-old Daniel Blair made world headlines when he silently occupied himself by giving their week-old puppy a “bath” in the loo, and accidentally flushed the pup down the toilet. (Dog lovers will be pleased to hear that the cocker spaniel survived.) Tragically, there are a number of children who drown each year, when their “too quiet” games revolve around swimming pools. So tune your ears into the gnawing silence. At best, it will offer some wonderful photo opportunities, and may even save a life.
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childproof your house The Child Accident Prevention Foundation of Southern Africa offers the following tips. For their comprehensive guide, go to childsafe.org.za • Install child-safety latches on all cupboards containing dangerous products. • Ensure potentially poisonous products have childproof caps, and lock them out of reach. • Secure bookshelves and furniture that can topple over. • Safety glass should be used for sliding doors and large glass panes. Mark doors at your child’s height with stickers or tape. • Store alcoholic beverages out of reach of children in a lockable cupboard. • Never leave matches or lighters lying around. • Make sure you know which plants in your garden are poisonous. Place poisonous plants out of reach. • Always empty the bath when finished. • Lock away all medicines and avoid leaving medication on your bedside table. Install child locks on medicine cupboards. • Store razors and other hazardous products like turpentine, cleaning products and pool chemicals well out of reach or lock them away. • Attach toilet-seat guards on toilets. • Ensure garden and other tools are locked away, out
of sight. Make sure that when they are in use that children are supervised. • Set your hot-water cylinder to a safer temperature (50˚C or less). • Never burn candles where children can reach them. Always extinguish them when leaving the room. • Children should not be allowed to play on furniture. • Always try and supervise play. Buy age-appropriate toys and games. • Throw away broken toys or have them repaired. • All outdoor play should be supervised. • Always keep the garden shed locked and teach children not to play in it. • The most dangerous area in the garden is the pool. Make sure it is either fenced with an SABS-approved fence or have a safety net installed. • Always empty paddle pools after use. • Cover deep ponds with a net or mesh. • Keep car doors locked in the garage or driveway. If using an electronic garage door, make sure that it stops if it touches an obstacle. • Never leave children unattended near a braai fire.
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feature
surviving Christmas It’s the so-called season of goodwill, and yet Christmas can cause huge family strife. Maybe it’s
e
All festivals, celebrations, holidays and special days are important in the lives of families and help children feel that they belong.
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very year, mother of two, Sandra* starts dreading Christmas from around September. “I know that any day now, my mother will be on the phone trying to make me commit to cooking a turkey and helping her make an enormous hot lunch with all the trimmings, and ensuring that we will be at Midnight Mass with my siblings and extended family. It’s a nightmare. My husband is an atheist and won’t budge on the Mass issue, and thinks Christmas is nothing more than a commercial enterprise. He’s happy enough for the children to get a present and to have a family get-together, but this isn’t good enough for my folks. Inevitably, I feel torn and land up fighting with everyone. Come Boxing Day, my mother isn’t talking to me, my husband is a shell-shocked zombie who feels manipulated and voiceless and I find myself wondering what on earth I’m going to do with the mountain of gammon, turkey and chipolatas that my mom wrapped in tin foil and pressed upon me as we were leaving. If I could, I’d bypass the whole thing and take the family camping, but my mom would see that as a declaration of war, and besides, I’d feel terribly guilty about not being with my parents on Christmas. It seems that I just can’t win.” Sound familiar? Well, it probably won’t help to learn that if it does, you’re not alone. Family conflict escalates over the festive season, coming to a nasty head on Christmas day for many families. One of the main reasons for this is a difference of opinion between generations on how the day should be spent, and this only becomes more dire when there are conflicting religious and cultural beliefs thrown into the mix. It seems we can keep these from the spotlight for most of the year, but at Christmas, they come out of their hidey-holes and are revealed in all their divisive complexity. Interestingly, Cape Town-based counselling psychologist Dr Rosa Bredekamp notes that the day itself is wholly innocent. “Christmas is traditionally a day celebrated by Christians the world over to commemorate the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, but we now know that 25 December is
actually not Christ’s birth date, and that it might have been chosen to correspond with a Roman festival or the winter solstice in the northern hemisphere,” she says. “Christmas has been associated and invested with other symbolic meanings besides the birth of Christ from a very early age, so even people from other cultures may celebrate this day in their own unique and idiosyncratic way. Christmas is also celebrated by many secular, non-Christian people as a way of demonstrating their affection and care for loved ones,” she says. The thing to remember in the bustle to prepare for Christmas, says Dr Bredekamp, is that however your family and loved ones conceive of Christmas, it really is an opportunity to bring your family closer together “and to interact in a meaningful manner. All festivals, celebrations, holidays and special days are important in the lives of families and help children feel that they belong. Sharing celebrations, religious events and holidays also helps build a cohesive society,” she says. But “cohesion” around Christmas can take a long time to come by. ‘”For years I hated Christmas because it was the only time of year that there would be terrible tension between my immediate family and parents and my inlaws,” explains Karen*, mother of six-year-old Noah*. Karen converted to Judaism in order to marry her husband, Joel*, eight years ago. “My in-laws were not happy that Noah took part in the Christmas tradition of my immediate family, but how could we leave him out when all of his cousins on my side were part of it? They spend a lot of time together and it would just have been so unfair to deny him the Christmas excitement,” says Karen. “Eventually I’d had enough of the political undercurrents and sat everyone down and explained that we were happy to expose Noah to a range of traditions and that we didn’t think this would be confusing because he’s never going to be anything but Jewish. I grew up with Father Christmas and wanted him to have that, too. I don’t see it as a conflict. Eventually everyone calmed down. They
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PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SXC.HU
time to break away from Christmases past and make new traditions, suggests Laura Twiggs.
might not agree, but I have made it clear that this is my call,” she says firmly. Dr Bredekamp says that parents like Karen are “permitting their children to experience a wide variety of opportunities and value systems which they can integrate into their own world view or belief system at a stage when they are emotionally and spiritually more mature”. She continues: “People may ask whether children are not receiving conflicting messages if they are exposed to different cultural beliefs and customs, but the challenge of living in a diverse society is actually to be able to tolerate differences and acknowledge that we (not one specific culture or religion) do not have all the answers to life’s questions. So children from a mixed background might be better equipped to deal with, tolerate and respect others who are from different backgrounds and be more open-minded in general. I see this as an advantage for survival in the so-called global village where we are more exposed to different environments and people, and where, I believe, accepting religious diversity might lead to greater religious tolerance.” However, it’s not just the outright conflict between religious beliefs and cultures that causes tension around Christmas. Even those from the same belief system, faith and world view can find themselves at odds over ingrained family traditions that have nothing whatsoever to do with faith. Even the most secular of households can
find themselves torn in what seem like a thousand different directions trying to comply with the expectations of both extended families. “It always felt like there was some competition between our parents,” admits Colleen*. “Both my husband and my parents have a tradition of doing Christmas Eve, which means we have had to choose, and it always caused tension. Eventually we decided that we had to go back to the drawing board and take control, because we felt like pawns and could never please everyone.” Colleen and Mike decided to break free of their familial expectations and start their own Christmas tradition. They decided to host Christmas themselves, and to shift the focus to Christmas lunch. “Neither of our parents were very keen at first; they were both very attached to the way they did things. But we held our ground, and now we have managed to get it right in a way that includes everyone, and avoids the terrible stress and tension,” she says. “We have a relaxed lunch and all of our siblings and family come to our house. I didn’t want to have to do the old-fashioned thing and so we now have a braai, and everyone is asked to bring something specific. I refuse to spend three days in the kitchen the way my mother used to. We’ve been very clear that Christmas day is an opportunity for the whole family to come together and share time, and that is the real point and focus. “My mother was horrified at first and it’s taken some time for her to stop asking about bread sauce and brandy
Even the most secular of households can find themselves torn in what seem like a thousand different directions trying to comply with the expectations of both extended families.
butter. But now she says she wishes she had thought of it because it would have spared her so much trouble and sweat over the years. We also have laid down the law about presents because, let’s face it, who gets the gift of their dreams at Christmas? We now give our children gifts before they come to lunch and at lunch, we have a secret Santa that is capped at R200 per gift, meaning that all that money and time spent in the shops is done away with. After every Christmas lunch, when everyone has left, Mike and I sit back and congratulate ourselves for taking this stand. The pressure has gone out of Christmas and, what’s more, we have started our very own tradition that totally includes everyone and makes it a lovely, unstressful day.” Among the many changes to the “traditional Christmas” that Colleen and Mike have made is changing the notion of Christmas trees. “We decided to buy a tree and do a ceremonial planting of it in the garden rather than forking out for a pine tree that will shed its brown needles all over the carpet,” says Mike. “Another tradition we have started, and which the children love, is that all the cousins, and there are seven of them under the age of 13, put on a play after lunch: a musical variety show that is always hilarious.” So, maybe it’s time to take a leaf from their book and put those ghosts of Christmas past to rest. Who knows, you might find yourself having that “merry little Christmas” that Judy Garland sang about. “Let your heart be light/From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.” Imagine that? * Names have been changed
avoid Christmas stress • Look for ways to take the pressure off yourself. Delegate. Plan a menu and then ask family members to bring specific items, from Christmas crackers to festive serviettes. This way you will avoid bearing all the expense as well as stress. • To avoid a last-minute rush, ask those who are going to bring key items to drop them off at your house the day before Christmas. • Silence that voice that’s telling you that everything has to be perfect. It doesn’t. Don’t allow yourself to succumb to the silly season’s pressure. • Sit down with your family and decide on exactly what you want Christmas to be. Do it your own way. • Don’t over-spend: this will only lead to greater stress in the new year.
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feature
poker face Should you teach children to play poker? JEANNE MACLAY-MAYERS gives us her take on a much debated activity.
y grandfather called it “the devil’s game”. My dad taught us how to play it. In fact, my dad was an ace poker player, so much so that he was planning to earn his crust through poker games at one stage, until he met my mom and gradually took up more middle-class ways. But he never lost his love of poker, and would pass on his skills to us children after suppertime in suburbia. By his manner my dad imbued the game with a raffish charm, but he was adamant that winning the game was mainly about working with statistics. And that is probably the main lesson that poker offers: how to size up your chances of winning when you are considering different options. As I recently explained to Max Hoffenberg, it is always tempting to try for a high-scoring straight or flush, but your chances of successfully getting the cards to complete your straight or flush are slim. It is much wiser to aim for three of a kind. Poker can teach children the relationship between risk and returns, and where they like to position themselves on the low-risk/high-risk continuum (although Max, at age nine, was more focused on the word “flush” and its potential in toilet humour). Poker is also about people skills. Bluffing may be the best known (or most notorious) of these, but while bluffing does play a part in any game, just as valuable is being able to recognise the situations you shouldn’t try to bluff your way through. Also important is learning how to be a good loser, and how to quash the desire to gloat once you have won, which, if not mastered young, can lose you friends in the heady days of your adult successes. Then there is the “poker face” – which my longstanding friend Marcus Coetzee could never master. When playing with our family, young Marcus preferred to turn his back to the game, but we still speculated aloud about his cards and learnt to tell by his giggles whether we were right or not. Since then Marcus (now 36) has become a successful businessman, albeit a straighttalking one. Would a poker face have helped him in his career? I suspect it could come in handy in some situations. Poker is also a mine of sensible proverbs, for example: “Don’t throw good money after bad”. If you have been betting money on a particular hand, don’t be too stubborn to quit. Some might say that a youth spent playing poker with matchsticks, Smarties or spiral pasta will lead to a gambling problem in later life, which involves real money. In my case it hasn’t; the only time I have entered our local casino is to go ice-skating. As far as I can tell, gamblers believe in luck. They go to a casino and hope fortune will smile upon
them. But the very existence of the casino, its glossy exterior and luxury detailing, should tell them that fortune is smiling on the establishment and not its patrons. It has been said that gambling (with real money) is a tax on stupidity. My childhood of poker did not lead me to believe in luck. However, clearly some people do have a gambling problem, and in some cases this can ruin their lives and those of their loved ones. Some of those people must have learnt gambling at a young age. Did their youthful experience of playing poker with their parents lead to their later problems? Dr Alissa Sklar of Canada’s International Centre for Youth Gambling Problems and HighRisk Behaviors thinks that parents should be careful about the messages sent out by their own behaviour. She believes: “If children see [parents] playing occasionally for fun, and with nothing of real value, it can send a positive message. Children who see parents gamble excessively learn something different altogether, and it can lead to problems for them later on.” According to her organisation: “Children need to be taught to recognise the difference between skill and chance, and they need to understand that if they do gamble (even with matchsticks), they need to ‘know their limit and play within it’. Playing poker with children can be one way to teach them these things, but it should be done in an open way, with discussion about risk.” She also adds a cautionary note, reminding parents that “the younger children are when they start gambling, the more they are at risk for developing problems later on”. She warns that a big win early on can be a risk factor, because it makes children feel like they are particularly lucky or skilled at games of chance. Raj Govender, a director of the South African organisation Gamhelp, assists people who are facing the disastrous consequences of their gambling problems and he takes a strict stance on the issue of children and gambling. He advises parents not to expose children to gambling, and not to make gambling (even with matchsticks) acceptable to children. He says: “The seeds can be planted at a very young age, and parents don’t really realise what they are doing.” Research from his organisation suggests that 90% of the people it helps started gambling before adulthood. This zero-tolerance approach to children and poker is shared by Rayda Jacobs, author of the novel Confessions of a Gambler. She says: “Knowing what I know now, I would never teach my children how to play poker. The reality is that Gamblers Anonymous is full of addicts who have learnt the game from parents or friends. Do you know whether your child has an addictive nature? And would you take the chance?”
Poker can teach children the relationship between risk and returns, and where they like to position themselves on the lowrisk/high-risk continuum…
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PHOTOGRAPHS: COMSTOCKCOMPLETE.COM
Some might say that a youth spent playing poker with matchsticks, Smarties or spiral pasta will lead to a gambling problem in later life, which involves real money.
After these sobering thoughts, will I teach poker to my daughter? I am sure I will, because I believe that in most situations education and moderation are a more effective combination than outright prohibition, which can leave children (and later the adult they become) quite naïve and susceptible to life’s scamsters. However, I will teach her not to play with money, because the thought of winning and losing mine and others’ hard-earned money makes me feel ill. I will teach her poker because it provides an entertaining springboard for discussions about the unavoidable choices of ordinary adult life, such as whether to invest in the stock market or the property market. However, after talking to Raj and Rayda I would be more reticent to teach the game to other people’s children (although I did recently teach the game to our friends, the Steiners). Their teenage lad Luca (13) quickly picked up on the game and was soon happily beating us adults. (Beware the influence of this early win on your later risk behaviour, young Luca!) It seems that with the Steiners, as in my life, poker is a game that brings different generations together. Is it fair to call matchstick poker “the devil’s game”? While people who have been burnt by a gambling addiction may feel it’s an appropriate name, it seems that Reverend Robert Steiner is unlikely to agree, as I saw him saving the hierarchy of poker combinations onto his cellphone for later bonding sessions with his son Luca.
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book extract
spice it up In her book, More than Samoosas, Nazeeha Abrahams injects her Cape Malay cooking with a little Durban spice.
dhaltjies (chilli bites) 375ml (1½ cups) pea/chana flour or chilli-bite mix 15ml (1T) cake flour 5ml (1t) baking powder 1 large onion, finely chopped or grated 1 large potato, coarsely grated 1 fresh green chilli, finely chopped 5ml (1t) salt 5ml (1t) turmeric 5ml (1t) ground jeera (cumin) 2,5ml (½t) crushed dried chillies 2,5ml (½t) red leaf masala 5ml (1t) garlic and ginger paste 60ml (¼ cup) chopped fresh dhania About 125ml (½ cup) cold water About 500ml (2 cups) cooking oil for deep-frying
makes about 30
Serve as a light anytime snack, or an accompaniment to soup.
In a large mixing bowl, sift flour and baking powder. Add the remaining ingredients, except the water and oil, and mix with just enough of the water to form a stiff batter. Use more water if necessary, but note that the batter should be able to hold its shape and not be runny.
Heat the oil in a small, deep pot or pan on medium heat. Once the oil is hot, add 1T of batter, one spoon at a time, making sure not to overcrowd the pot and to allow space for turning the bites. Slowly fry on either side until golden brown and crisp. Monitor the temperature of the oil to ensure that it doesn’t become too hot while frying.
butter biscuits 250g soft butter 250ml (1 cup) castor sugar 125ml (½ cup) cooking oil 5ml (1t) vanilla essence 625ml (2½ cups) cake flour
makes 24–30
These are my all-time favourite biscuits. They are rich in taste and light in texture.
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Cream the butter and castor sugar together until thick and Pierce the chilli bite with a fork to test if properly cooked: if the fork comes out dry, then the chilli bites are ready. Remove from the oil and drain in a colander or on paper towel.
creamy. Add the cooking oil and mix well. Add the vanilla essence and mix. Lastly, add the cake flour, 250ml (1 cup) at a time, mixing well after each addition to form a soft dough. Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface to about 8mm thick. Cut out shapes with various cookie cutters. Place the biscuits on a large baking sheet and, if you like, top each biscuit with a small piece of red glacé cherry or a sprinkling of hundreds and thousands. Press lightly with the back of a teaspoon before baking, if using the hundreds and thousands. Bake in a preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until lightly golden.
Variation: To prepare half-moon biscuits, use the same recipe but add 125ml (½ cup) finely chopped cashew nuts before adding the flour. Divide the dough into 20 equal portions. Roll each portion into a 5cm-long sausage shape, curve and press the ends lightly, forming a croissant or half-moon shape. Bake in the same manner. Immediately after baking, while the biscuits are still hot, dip each biscuit into icing sugar and then place on a cooling rack. More Than Samoosas by Nazeeha Abrahams is published by Human & Rousseau, an imprint of NB Publishers. Nazeeha’s culinary journey started when, as a newly-wed, she was feeling lost in her own kitchen. Her mother was called in to guide her. With new-found confidence she explored the Cape Malay heritage, blending it with the exotic aromas of Durban’s spice market – to the great delight of her family. The result is a tempting collection of colourful dishes. Easy, yet never boring, there is something for every taste and every occasion. More Than Samoosas is available from most book stores and can be ordered from online book stores. The recommended retail price is R210.
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resource
hoorayfor holidays! Staying home this December? Stay entertained with our 50-plus family-friendly outings. Compiled by TRACY ELLIS.
Adventure golf
Barn swallows
Crocodile Creek
This is a fun family experience. The covered course is perfect for those rainy days. When? 9am–10pm daily. Where? Pavilion Shopping Centre (lower level, opposite cinemas). For more info: 031 265 1570
A spectacular sight as more than three million barn swallows mass together. Take a picnic supper. When? 30 minutes before sunset, daily. Where? Lake Victoria, Mount Moreland. For more info: 031 568 1671
African Bird of Prey Sanctuary
Bayete Zulu Day Adventures
Resident raptors include vultures, eagles, falcons, kestrels, hawks, kites, owls and more. Daily shows. When? Tuesday– Sunday, 9am–4pm. Daily shows at 10:30am with an extra 3pm show on weekends and public holidays. Where? Lion Park Rd. For more info: 031 785 2981 or visit africanraptor.co.za
Get up close and personal with an elephant. When? 11am daily. Booking essential. Where? Mkuze Game Reserve. For more info: 074 100 5221 or visit bayetezulu.co.za
Home to 7 000 monster crocodiles, alligators, caiman, slender-snouted and dwarf crocs. See baby crocs hatching. Taste crocodile specialties at The Water Hole. When? 9am–5pm daily, guided tours at 10am, 11:30am, 12:30pm, 2pm and 3pm. Feedings at 11am and 3pm. Where? Tongaat. For more info: 032 944 3845 or visit crocodilecreek.net
African Bird of Prey Sanctuary
Crocworld
A tract of coastal forest with a number of short trails, picnic sites and public toilets. Watch out for the bold Vervet Monkeys. When? Daily. Where? Burman Dr, Morningside. For more info: 031 312 4466
Thirty hectares of indigenous trees and plants with over 200 birds and 10 000 Nile Crocodiles ranging from newborn hatchlings to 100 year old mammoth sized crocs. When? 8:30am–4:30pm daily. Feedings and tours at 11am and 3pm. Where? N2, follow the boards from Scottburgh offramp. For more info: 039 976 1103 or visit crocworld.co.za
Butterflies for Africa
Duck ’n Deck Animal Farm
Walk among butterflies, visit the monkey enclosure, art gallery, restaurant and nursery. When? Tuesday–Friday, 9am–4:30pm; Saturday, 9:30am–3:30pm; Sunday, 10:30am– 3:30pm. Where? 37 Willowton Rd, Pietermaritzburg. For more info: 033 387 1356 or visit butterflies.co.za
A wide variety of animals and exotic ducks as well as pony and donkey cart rides. The tea garden serves farmstyle breakfasts and light lunches. When? Tuesday–Sunday, 9:30am–4:30pm. Where? 3 Willow Way, Assagay. For more info: 031 768 1029 or visit duckanddeck.co.za
Burman Bush
Dude Ranch Animal Farm Air adventures
Situated on a scenic sugar cane farm, children can pet the animals, take a pony or tractor ride and enjoy the playground, while parents enjoy a light meal or coffee in the restaurant. When? Wednesday–Sunday, 9am–5pm. Where? Off the R102, 40 minutes north of Durban. For more info: 084 250 6591 or 084 313 0444
Experience KwaZulu-Natal from the air in a helicopter, hot air balloon, light aircraft, microlight or gyrocopter. When? Subject to booking. Where? Various. For more info: Sky Adventures: 073 334 7911, Virginia Airport: 031 563 7101
Amanzimtoti Bird Sanctuary Durban Botanic Gardens
This is a large expanse of water surrounded by beautiful gardens and indigenous forests. Follow the self-guided trail and spot one of the 150 resident bird species. When? 6am–6pm daily. Where? Umdoni Rd, Amanzimtoti. For more info: 031 903 7498
Picnic sites are available throughout these beautiful gardens, which include a lake area, a garden of senses, abundant birdlife, an orchid house and a tea garden. Butterflies for Africa
The Animal Farmyard
Duck ’n Deck Animal Farm
Cane Cutters Resort Spend a morning or afternoon relaxing around the pool. The à la carte restaurant serves breakfast, lunch and dinner and children can enjoy the play area. Call ahead to reserve space on the shuttle which will take you to their private beach. Other features include a volleyball court, pony rides and an Ayurvedic health spa. When? 7am–late. Where? Sheffield Beach, near Ballito. For more info: 032 947 0851 or visit canecuttersresort.co.za
Crafty Duck Village The Animal Farmyard Daily milking demonstrations and a wide selection of animals available for petting and feeding as well as pony and tractor rides. The tea garden provides light meals. When? 9am–4:30pm daily. Where? 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill. For more info: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za
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A collection of experiences including an animal farmyard, horse stables, snake and reptile park, wildlife sanctuary, craft and tuck shop, restaurant and relaxation spa. When? Tuesday–Sunday, 9:30am–4:30pm. Where? F1 Chief Mhlabunzima Rd, Bishopstowe (Old Wartburg Rd). For more info: 033 390 1334 or visit craftyduck.co.za durban’s
Giba Gorge Mountain Bike Park
When? 7:30am–5:45pm daily. Where? 70 St Thomas Rd, Durban. For more info: 031 309 1170
Giba Gorge Mountain Bike Park
Five two-hour skating sessions each day. When? 10am– 10pm daily. Where? 81 Somtseu Rd. For more info: 031 332 4597 or visit durbanicerink.co.za
You don’t have to be a biking enthusiast to enjoy one of their breakfasts or the Giba Gallery. Children can enjoy the playground or the BMX track and free dirt jumps. When? Tuesday–Sunday, 7am–6pm. Where? 110 Stockville Rd, Westmead. For more info: 031 769 1527 or visit gibagorge.co.za
Flag Animal Farm
The Golden Mile
A children’s playground, pony rides, milking demos and the chance to feed chickens, ducks, rabbits, cows, goats, sheep, pigs, geese and birds. Picnic sites are available as well as a tea garden. When? 9am–4:30pm daily. Milking at noon and 3pm. Where? N2 exit 214, Umhlali/Salt Rock. For more info: 032 947 2018
Stretching from uShaka Marine World to Suncoast Casino, this 6km stretch of beach with adjacent promenade is perfect for young bikers, rollerbladers and skateboarders. When? Daily. Where? Durban beachfront. For more info: visit durban.kzn.org.za
Durban Ice Rink
Harbour cruises and deep sea adventures Funworld Enjoy the view of Durban’s beachfront from the cable car or dare to ride the Breakdance or Swingboat. Little ones can enjoy the carousel and elephant ride. When? 9am–10pm daily. Where? Marine Parade. For more info: 031 332 9776
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Enjoy a cruise around Durban’s busy harbour or brave the open ocean. When? Call for times. Where? Various. For more info: Sarie Marais: 031 305 4022, Gorgeous Girl Charters: 083 679 1273, Isle of Capri: 031 305 3099, Sharks Board: 031 566 0400 or Ocean Safaris: 084 565 5328
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The Hibiscus Coast Visit the Space Centre Observatory or just spend the day at one of three blue flag beaches. The Waffle House restaurant is a family favourite and The Butterfly Sanctuary will delight young and old. When? Daily. Where? Between Hibberdene and Port Edward. For more info: 039 682 7944 or visit tourismsouthcoast.co.za
The KwaZulu-Natal Sharks Board
N3 via the Howick off ramp. For more info: 033 330 2067 or visit kznwildlife.com
Mini Town Situated on Durban’s beachfront, this miniature replica of Durban complete with moving trains, planes and ships, will delight children. When? 9:30am–5pm daily. Where? 114 Snell Parade, Durban. For more info: 031 337 7892
Horseback riding From ponies to beach rides. When? Varies. Where? Various. For more info: Outlaw Farm: 031 766 1185, Horseback Beach Adventures: 084 467 0752, Umdloti Beach Stables: 084 284 0464 or Giba Gorge Horse Trails: 073 618 5873 or 082 623 3783
Karkloof Canopy Tour Professional guides assist you to zigzag through this indigenous forest on eight different zip-line slides suspended among seven platforms. When? 8am–3pm daily. Where? Follow signs from Karkloof/Rietvlei Rd. For more info: 033 330 3415 or visit karkloofcanopytour.co.za
Krantzkloof Nature Reserve An array of wildlife including zebra, buck, mongoose and birdlife. Various nature walks available and attractive picnic sites with braai facilities and ablutions. When? 6am–6pm daily. Where? Follow the boards from Kloof Falls Rd, Kloof. For more info: 031 764 3515 or visit kznwildlife.com
Mitchell Park
KZN battlefields routes Brush up on your local history and follow one of six subroutes. Route maps and information available at tourist information centres. When? At your leisure. Where? Throughout the province. For more info: 031 366 7500 or visit zulu.org.za
KZNSA Gallery Local and international artists are featured in three different exhibition spaces. The gallery shop stocks a wide range of arts and crafts. Artscafé serves breakfasts, lunches and teas and has a play area. When? Tuesday–Friday, 9am–5pm. Where? Bulwer Rd, Glenwood. For more info: 031 202 3686 or visit nsagallery.co.za
Marianhill Monastery Tour the museum, cloister, church, convent and workshops. Enjoy a light meal in the tea garden and a walk through the tranquil grounds. When? Tours by appointment only. Tea garden: Monday–Friday, 9am–4pm; Saturday, 9am–2pm; Sunday, 10am–3pm. Where? Monastery Rd, Marianhill. For more info: 031 700 4288
Midlands Meander Krantzkloof Nature Reserve
The KwaZulu-Natal Sharks Board Watch an audiovisual presentation followed by a shark dissection. Browse the curio shop and the display hall with lifelike replicas. When? Monday–Friday, 8am–4pm; audiovisual and dissection Tuesday–Thursday, 9am and 2pm; Sunday, 2pm. Where? 1A Herrwood Dr, Umhlanga. For more info: 031 566 0400 or visit shark.co.za
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December 2009/January 2010
Shady trees, beautiful flowerbeds, a children’s playground, Blue Zoo Restaurant and a small zoo with birds, mammals and reptiles. When? 8am–4pm daily. Where? Cnr of Innes and Ferndale Rd, Morningside. For more info: 031 303 2275
Natal Lion Park and Zoological Gardens Drive your vehicle through the park for an up close experience with lions, elephants, antelope and zebras or walk through the zoo to see tigers, leopards and more. When? 9am–4pm daily. Where? Lion Park Rd, Camperdown. For more info: 031 785 1423
Natural Science Museum One of South Africa’s smallest but busiest natural science museums, it is renowned for its realistic dioramas (habitat groups), lifesize T.rex model, near complete Dodo skeleton and Egyptian mummy. When? Monday–Saturday, 8:30am– 4pm; Sunday, 11am–4pm. Where? First floor, City Hall, Smith St. For more info: 031 311 2256
Old Mutual MTN Sciencentre Newly renovated with over 200 interactive displays to delight and fascinate. When? Tuesday–Thursday, 9am– Phezulu Safari Park
Make your way along this scenic route filled with arts, crafts, décor, cuisine, agri-tourism, shopping, historical sites and leisure activities. Guidebook and maps available. When? At your leisure. Where? Between Pietermaritzburg and the uKhahlamba Drakensberg mountain range. For more info: 033 330 8195 or visit midlandsmeander.co.za
Midmar Dam Situated on the Umgeni River this tranquil setting is perfect for water sports, cycling, walking, angling or just lazing at one of the picnic sites. When? 8am–4pm daily. Where?
durban’s
7pm; Friday–Saturday, 9am–9pm; Sunday, 9am–6pm. Where? Gateway Theatre of Shopping. For more info: 031 566 8040 or visit gatewaysciencecentre.co.za
Phezulu Safari Park Enjoy a Zulu dancing show, a 4x4 game drive, a live crocodile show or the snakes at the Snake Park. When? Daily with various show times. Where? Old Main Rd, Bothas Hill. For more info: 031 777 1000 or visit phezulusafaripark.co.za
Pietermaritzburg The administrative capital of KwaZulu-Natal is steeped in history. Visit The Tatham Art Gallery, the Natal Museum, the Voortrekker/Msunduzi Museum, Botanic Gardens, the Railway Museum and more. When? Call for times. Where? 80km from Durban on the N3. For more info: 033 345 1348 or visit pmbtourism.co.za
Rayz Kids World A host of fun daily activities and entertainment for children including movies, games and putt-putt. When? 9am–5pm daily. Where? uShaka Marine World. For more info: 031 328 8000
The Rock – Expo Xplore Zone Dare to climb the world’s highest indoor rock wall. Casual climbing as well as lessons. When? 9am–8:30pm daily. Where? Gateway Theatre of Shopping, Expo Xplore Zone. For more info: 031 570 9200 or visit wavehouse.co.za
Take a tour of one of the largest sugar mills in the world, capable of handling up to 800 tons of sugar an hour. When? Daily tours at 8:30am, 10am, 11:30am and 2pm. Where? Maydon Wharf. For more info: 031 365 8153 or visit sasa.org.za
Port Natal Maritime Museum An exhibition hall, a number of small craft and three ships for children to scramble about on as they learn about maritime history. When? Monday–Saturday, 8:30am– 3:45pm; Sunday, 11am–3:45pm. Where? Bay End, Aliwal St. For more info: 031 311 2231 The Rock – Expo Xplore Zone
The Wavehouse
South African Sugar Terminal Trains
Ride a steam train or a model train. When? Call for times. Where? Various. For more info: Umgeni Steam Railway: 031 303 3003, DSME: 031 205 1089, Albert Falls Miniature Railway: 033 569 1503 or PMES: 033 345 3810
SPCA Support a worthy cause. Durban SPCA has a café and bargain shop; Kloof SPCA has a tea garden and play area. When? Durban SPCA: Monday–Friday, 8am–4pm; Saturday, 8am–1pm. Kloof SPCA: Monday–Saturday, 8am–3pm. Where? Springfield Park or Village Rd. For more info: visit spcadbn.org.za or kloofspca.co.za
Twinstreams Environmental Education Centre Walking trails, picnic and braai spots and a short walk to the beach. Collect a copy of the tree list and see how many you’re able to identify in this indigenous forest. When? Subject to booking. Monday–Friday, 8am– 4pm. Where? 3km south of Mtunzini. For more info: 035 340 2511 or visit wessa.org.za
Superbowling Family fun 365 days a year. Shoes provided and socks available for sale or bring your own. When? 9am–midnight daily. Where? Pavilion Shopping Centre, Westville and Gateway Theatre of Shopping, Umhlanga. For more info: Pavilion: 031 265 1624, Gateway: 031 566 5668 or visit superbowling.co.za
uShaka Marine World Endless hours of entertainment between the aquarium, dolphin shows, seal pool, dive tank, snorkel lagoon and Wet ’n Wild water park. The Cargo Hold restaurant is open for lunch and dinner. When? 9am–5pm daily. Where? 1 Bell St, Durban. For more info: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za
Tala Game Reserve
durban’s
Enjoy a day trip to this private game reserve. Choose between a self-drive safari, a two-hour guided drive in an open game viewer or a quad bike experience. When? 7am–6pm daily. Where? Off the R603, 45 minutes from Durban. For more info: 031 781 8000 or visit tala.co.za
Valley of 1000 Hills
The Wavehouse
Zululand
Fun in the sun with four supertube slides, two flowriders, the D-rex double point break wave, the biggest skate park in South Africa, live music arena and Kauai Café. When? 10am–7pm daily. Where? Gateway Theatre of Shopping. For more info: 031 584 9400 or visit wavehouse.co.za
Attractions include the aerial boardwalk in the Dlinza Forest, Shakaland, Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park, birding routes and hiking trails. When? Daily. Where? Varies. For more info: visit durban.kzn.org.za, visitzululand.co.za or zululandtourism.co.za
Visit Isithumba, a traditional Zulu homestead. Enjoy arts and crafts, restaurants and spectacular scenery. When? Daily. Isithumba tours by booking only. Where? Varies. For more info: 031 777 1874 or visit 1000hills.kzn.org.za
December 2009/January 2010
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books
the good book guide for toddlers The Rabbit Problem By Emily Gravett (Macmillan Children’s Books, R155) Hop along to Fibonacci’s Field and follow Lonely and Chalk Rabbit as they try to cope with their fast-expanding brood and handle a different seasonal challenge each month, from the cold of February to the wet of April and the heat of July. This extraordinary picture book is packed with gorgeous details and novelty elements, including a baby rabbit record book, a carrot recipe book and a surprise pop-up ending.
Wipe Clean: Funtime Colours By Caroline Jayne Church (Campbell Books, R90) Children can use the big, bright chalks to learn about colours and create brilliant pictures on the magical draw-on, wipe-off pages of this fun-filled book. They can wipe the pages clean and start over again – perfect for budding artists. The book teaches children from one year and older about first concepts. It also encourages hand-eye coordination and stimulates creative development.
God’s Dream By Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Douglas Carlton Abrams
pick of the month
(Jacana Media, R112) In warm and simple words, Nobel Peace Prize winner Desmond Tutu reaches out to children everywhere with his inspiring message of love and forgiveness. Tutu explains “that God’s Dream is a place where laughter, love, and peace reign and where we realize that we are all members of one family – God’s family”. It’s a wish that everyone will see they are brothers and sisters, no matter their way of speaking to God, no matter the size of their nose or the shade of their skin. With vibrant illustrations by LeUyen Pham, this truly South African gem will make a lovely gift for any child.
for early graders The Pain and the Great One: Friend or fiend? & Cool Zone By Judy Blume
Doodle on! Holiday Doodles By Smriti Prasadam-Halls (Macmillan Children’s Books, R150) This is the perfect gift for the holidays. From drawing who’s on the tour bus, to deciding what’s on the braai, this book is packed with lots of holiday doodles – all that is needed are pencils or crayons. There are over 150 activity pages, bound in a sturdy, colourful cover with so many doodles to do, children will be kept busy for hours.
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December 2009/January 2010
(Macmillan Children’s Books, R120 & R79) Following the success of Soupy Saturdays, the next two books in this funny series about sibling rivalry continues to entertain young children. Eight-year-old Abigail (“The Great One”) and her six-year-old brother, Jake (“The Pain”) state their cases about each other and who is best-loved by their parents, often with hilarious results and a little life lesson thrown in.
Just about Us & Fast and Fabulous Room Makeovers By T. Bugbird (Make Believe Ideas, R95 each) Just about Us is for younger girls and their friends and what they like to do. Inside there are ideas for things to make and do, games to play and pages to fill in with all the important ‘stuff’ girls love so much to keep as memories. In Room Makeovers your daughter will find inspiration to decorate her own room – from making hangers and picture frames to style tips and ideas for a complete room makeover. In both books there are over 50 stickers to help with designs as well as scrapbook space.
durban’s
for pre-teens and teens Missing, Believed Crazy By Terence Blacker (Macmillan Children’s Books, R155) Five children at an exclusive private school hatch a daring plan to fake a kidnap and raise money for charity. There’s brainy scholarship boy, Wiki, super-glam Jade, too-cool-for-school Mark, everyone’s best friend Holly – and then there’s Trix. It was her brilliant idea in the first place. A kidnapping, a rural hideaway, loads of money… and all for the very best of motives: helping children in need. What could possibly go wrong? The story is a bit like Robin Hood, only more illegal and with round-the-clock coverage by the world’s media. Five children in a fake kidnapping scam can only make for hilarious and thrilling reading.
The Pocket Guide To Girl Stuff & The Pocket Guide To Boy Stuff By Bart King
Open Me Up – Everything you need to know about the human body Senior Editor Julie Ferris
(Gibbs Smith, R88) Sometimes girls just need a little guidance and know-how. They’ll get that and more with this guide. Acclaimed author Bart King delves into the secret world of girls, with the help of his five sisters and 50 other young ladies. Fashion, friends and fun stuff – everything is covered in this volume that’s petite enough to fit in any girl’s purse. In The Pocket Guide To Boy Stuff, King introduces boys to all the important things they need to know but adults don’t want to tell them. From cool experiments and essential gadgets to flying things and gross stuff.
(Penguin Group, R240) This stunning book will even have non-science fans begging to read more. This title provides everything your child needs to know about the human body. Show your child how all the bony, bloody and squelchy goings on inside their bodies make it work. They’ll learn about everything; from human cells and senses to brain structure and body systems. Quirky twists and concepts tick the sidesplitting box – where else are they going to find the digestive system modelled out of balloons or a cartoon strip telling the story of the discovery of penicillin? This title offers a gutsy, cheeky and handy look at the human body.
for us featured book
Clean Breaks: 500 New Ways To See The World Gatherings: A Year of Invitations By Nataniël
(Human & Rousseau, R248) With his fourth cookbook, singer, entertainer, author and entrepreneur Nataniël pays tribute to the joys of home cooking and entertaining. Gatherings documents a year of special events, from birthday parties, romantic dinners for two, midweek feasts and impromptu meals to Christmas and Easter celebrations, a picnic and stork tea. Nataniël shares his all-time favourite dishes and includes recipes for light in-between snacks. Beautifully photographed by Clinton Lubbe, Gatherings will become your year-long kitchen companion.
durban’s
(Penguin Group, R320) Here are 500 fantastic experiences that will inspire you to see the world in a new light. It contains unusual holidays and alternative ways to travel that make a real difference to the lives of local people and the planet. Unique accommodation options are listed, such as mud huts and treehouses in Jamaica. There are details of amazing wildlife tours, as well as an array of climate-friendly travel options and adventurous experiences, such as living among the Bedouins and kayaking around the Scottish Isles.
The Girl Who Played With Fire & The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest By Stieg Larsson (MacLehose Press, R185 & R123) These two books, in addition to their predecessor, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, are part of the Millennium trilogy. Stieg Larsson died shortly after delivering the trilogy to his publisher and he did not live to enjoy the phenomenon that his work has become. Larsson’s main character in these books is the sassy Lisbeth Salander who has been called the most original heroine to emerge in crime fiction for years.
December 2009/January 2010
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calendar
email it to durban@childmag.co.za. Information must be received by 8 January for the February issue and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. Compiled by TRACY ELLIS.
Santa’s Elves at BUILD-A-BEAR WORKSHOP® December will see Build-A-Bear Workshop® stores around the country transform into Santa’s Workshop over the festive season. Santa’s elves have been given special pawmission to take over Build-A-Bear Workshop® and to provide you and your children with a beary special experience. Build-A-Bear Workshop® is an exciting store where you and your little one have the opportunity to make your very own, personalised teddy bear. The Build-ABear Workshop® is filled with loads to do. Choose your new furry friend, stuff it with love, add its very own heart and create its unique personality from the hundreds of outfits and accessories available. Come and experience the gift of giving this festive season. A new feature to Build-A-Bear Workshop® is the Bear Registry where you can create your own special wishlist. Ends 5 January. Cost: make a bear for R50 or spend R350 on your bear and make a bear free of charge for a child in need of a big bear hug. Venue: all Build-A-Bear Workshop® stores. Contact: 08611BEARS (23277) or visit buildabear.co.za. You can also have online fun at buildabearville.com
1 tuesday Santa vs The Snowman The heartwarming story of a lonely Snowman, who wages war on Santa. Ultimately, friendship reigns supreme. Time: varies. Venue: IMAX, Gateway. Cost: tbc. For more info: 031 566 4414/5 An Enchanted Christmas Featuring Santa, Tinkerbell and the world of the Lost Treasure, a rooftop funfair, bubble ball walk, crafts, a play area and treasure hunt. Ends 24 December. Time: varies. Venue: The Pavilion, Westville. Cost: free entry. For more info: 031 265 0558 or visit thepav.co.za Jaw development in newborns, toddlers and children A talk by a representative from NUK. Time: 9am– 10:30am. Venue: Alberlito Storks Nest, Alberlito Hospital, Ballito. Cost: free. For more info: 032 946 6956
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December 2009/January 2010
Buddy Bear Pinetown grand opening For the month of December, create a bear for as little as R69. Venue: 21 Henwood Rd, Pinetown. For more info: 031 702 1372 or visit buddybear.co.za
2 wednesday Human Trafficking Day Join the Red Light Human Trafficking initiative in its fight against trafficking in our country. Use red light bulbs in your home or office for the day to show your distaste for the human trafficking trade. For more info: visit redlight.co.cc
3 thursday The Credit Crunch Christmas Party The workers at Joe’s Panel Beaters buckle down and save the company Christmas party, refusing to let the credit crunch get them down. Ends 30 December. Time: varies.
Venue: The Catalina Theatre. Cost: R85, students R50. For more info: 031 305 6889
4 friday
Ends 6 December. Time: all day. Venue: Cane Cutters Resort. Cost: R150–R250. Tickets available at Idols Musgrave, Code Red Gateway and Waves Café Ballito. For more info: 072 218 0067 Fairy Follies A Christmas show featuring musical favourites such as ‘Me And My Shadow’, ‘Miracles Are Made From This’ and music from The Andrews Sisters. Ends 6 December. Time: 4–5 December, 8pm; 6 December, 6:30pm. Venue: The Rhumbelow Theatre. Cost: R80. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Just Jinjer performs after a decade overseas. Time: 7pm. Venue: Northwood Crusaders Sports Club. Cost: R120–R150. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 Celebrate 2009 The 10th annual Drakensberg festive celebration includes shows by the Drakensberg Boys Choir and other well known artists. Ends 6 December. Time: varies. Venue: Ken MacKenzie Auditorium. Cost: varies. For more info: 036 468 1012 or visit dbchoir.co.za
Uncle Jumbo’s Christmas Party Children help Mr Plod to catch the naughty goblins before they steal the Christmas fun. Father Christmas will hand out gifts and treats. Take a wrapped, clearly labelled gift for your child as well as a blanket, toy or food item for charity. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Kloof Town Hall grounds. Cost: R30. For more info: 076 631 2314 or get your tickets through Superspar in the Kloof Village Mall The Ballito Cane Fest features live bands, comedy and DJs, two dance floors, 4 December – Just Jinjer camping and food stalls.
PHOTOGRAPHS: COMSTOCKCOMPLETE.COM, SXC.HU
what’s on in dec/jan
For a free listing, fax your event to 031 207 3429 or
durban’s
8 December – Peter Pan
5 saturday FNB Dolphin Dash Buy a toy dolphin for entry into Sea World and Wet ’n Wild, enjoy celebrity entertainment and take part in the dolphin race to stand a chance of winning R15 000. All proceeds go to the Sea World Rescue Unit. Time: 9am. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R100. Contact Theresa: 031 328 8000 Christmas Equestrian Show A training and development horse riding show, which caters for novice to experienced riders. Also 6 December. Time: from 8am. Venue: Cyril Geoghegan Stadium, cnr Goble Rd and NMR Ave. Cost: free. Contact: 083 793 1061 or email cindymeekers@telkomsa.net Christmas Letter Writing Workshop Children will become believers when they experience the joy of designing a letter for Santa and receiving a personalised reply. Light snack included. Ages 3 and over. Also 6 and 13 December. Time: afternoons. Booking essential. Venue: Umbilo area. Cost: R40. For more info: 073 987 2502 or email hyderang@gmail.com Marianhill Monastery Christmas Market A chance to buy Christmas goodies, view the lifesize nativity scene, meet Father Christmas and watch the local Highwaymen singing group. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Marianhill Monastery Tea Garden. Cost: free. Contact Tracey or Joan: 031 700 4288, 082 595 8445 or visit monasteryteagarden.co.za Blossom Canola Fun Surf Series This competition is open to all children who can ride long or short boards. Parents can help children get into the water. Time: tbc.
durban’s
Venue: Dairy Beach, Durban. Cost: R120. Contact Julie: 083 644 7879 or visit durbansurfing.co.za I heart market Find handmade and unique gifts, foodie items and bespoke goods. Also 12 and 19 December. Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: St Mary’s Church Hall, 12 Windermere Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact Saki: 079 496 4788 or Anna: 083 378 1237 Christmas Festival with live music, a nativity scene and charity shop. Children’s entertainment includes the Smarties man, Simba and a visit from Santa on Saturday. Book for the Sunday Christmas lunch. Ends 7 December. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Kloof and Highway SPCA. Cost: R5 donation. Contact Janine: 031 764 1212/3
6 sunday Sinderella A saucy adult pantomime filled with songs, nonsense and mayhem. No under 16s. Take your own meal or book a gourmet picnic. Ends 31 December. Time: varies. Venue: Jubilee Supper Theatre, Lamont Rd. Cost: R80. For more info: 083 250 2690
7 monday Children’s Christmas Fantasy Entrance includes train rides, jumping castle, magic show, face painting, hot dog, sweets and a special guest appearance by Father Christmas. Time: 5:45pm–8:30pm. Venue: Model Railway, Virginia Circle. Cost: adults R40, children R95. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 Family craft and gardening holiday workshops include fun in the garden, 10 December - Designers on Display
printmaking, Christmas cards and gift tags, food growing, herbal remedies and shadow puppets. Times, dates and costs vary. Venue: Yizwa Centre for the EcoArts, Lower Loteni Rd, Nottingham. Contact: 083 429 2867 or email yizwacentre@gmail.com Tots ’n Pots holiday programme Daily cooking and baking workshops at various venues in KwaZulu-Natal. For locations, costs and times, visit totsnpots.com
8 tuesday Peter Pan This full scale musical will delight children and adults with its special effects and set. Ends 9 January. Time: varies. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre. Cost: tbc. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit kickstart–theatre.co.za
9 wednesday The ABBA Show A live tribute show to this legendary band featuring renditions of popular hits. Ends 10 January. Time: varies. Venue: Izulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino. Cost: adults R210, children R150. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000
10 thursday Designers on Display Designers transform six empty apartments at the new Pearls of Umhlanga. A supervised children’s play area is available. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Pearls, Umhlanga. Cost: R60. For more info: visit designersondisplay.co.za The Emperor and The Firebird Based on an ancient Japanese folktale, this children’s production features comedy, masks and magic. Time: Tuesday–Sunday, 11am. Venue: The Catalina Theatre, Wilson’s Wharf. Cost: R45. For more info: 031 305 6889
drawstring bag with a facecloth, toothbrush, soap, men’s deodorant and a craft item. Time: 10am. Venue: 53 Stamford Hill Rd, Greyville. Cost: free. Contact Charmaine: 083 331 3319 Mosaic Workshop Design, shape and paint your own glass tiles and learn to fuse and slump your masterpiece. Also 16 January. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Just
Green tip of the month Make ‘Plant today, live tomorrow’ your new motto. Tree planting remains one of the most cost-effective ways of addressing climate change as trees and forests play a vital role in regulating climate by absorbing carbon dioxide. Did you know an average of 150 trees need to be planted to offset the carbon emissions of one person? Here are some other reasons why you should plant a tree: • Trees provide shade and beautify environment • Some trees provide food • Trees enrich and anchor soil to maximise water supplies • They help with biodiversity conservation • Trees also supply timber, fibre, medicines and energy. Speak to your nursery about indigenous trees and when is the best time to plant them. In the 43 groups of indigenous tree species, there are about 1 000 different indigenous trees that occur in South Africa. Europe, by comparison, has approximately 100. Indigenous trees are a crucial part of our ecosystem. Why not use a potted indigenous tree as a Christmas tree and then replant it in the garden afterwards?
11 friday Old Mutual MTN Sciencentre Crazy Kids Holiday Programme is divided into four, weekly crazy themes: Star Crazy, Crazy Climate, Sounds Crazy and Crazy Classics. Ends 10 January. Time: varies. Venue: Shop E51, Upper Level, Gateway. Cost: varies. For more info: 031 566 8040
12 saturday KOZ (Kiddies OutingZ) is spreading joy at iCare Hope Centre. Take along a
December 2009/January 2010
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December is World AIDS Month Despite effective treatment, many people with HIV still do not have access to life-saving antiretrovirals. Do you know or think that anyone close to you is HIV positive? Give them the gift of life. Make an appointment for them to be tested at The Hillcrest AIDS Centre Trust, a multi-faceted HIV/ AIDS project. This ministry attempts to address the impact of the devastating HIV/AIDS pandemic in a practical and holistic way. The mission of the organisation is to show unconditional love in a practical way to all infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. The Trust provides education and HIV awareness training, rapid testing and counselling services, home-based and respite care, a feeding scheme, school fee fund as well as craft and horticulture income generation programmes. Support the Trust by making a financial contribution, donating something on its wish list (available on its website) or visiting its open day and tea garden between 8am–noon on the first Saturday of every month. For more info: visit hillaids.org.za Imagine Mosaics and Fibre Art. Cost: R600. Contact Sheila: 083 782 7810 or Zelda: 082 900 3565 Christmas holiday entertainment at Musgrave Centre includes daily shows and a chance to meet Father Christmas. Time: noon and 3pm (shows), 11am–4pm (Father Christmas). Venue: Musgrave Rd. Cost: free. For more info: 031 201 5129 Santa arrives at Gateway Shopping Centre’s Christmas Village. Join in the fun activities, shows and workshops. Time: 2pm. Venue: Expo Xplore area. Cost: free. For more info: 031 566 2332 Meet Father Christmas at The Heritage Market while you shop. Also 13, 16, 18, 19 and 20 December. Time: 10:30am–2:30pm. Venue: 9 Old Main Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: free. For more info: 031 765 2500 or visit heritagehillcrest.co.za
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December 2009/January 2010
UrbanRage Kitty Cats bike race A safe, marshalled children’s course. Ages 3–6 complete one lap and ages 6–9 years race two laps. Time: register from 7am; race 8am. Venue: uShaka Marine World central quad. Cost: R50. For more info: visit urbanrage.co.za Acting holiday workshops for anyone aged 6–16 who wants to be a star. Learn new skills, build your confidence and make new friends. Ends 19 December. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: The Playhouse. Cost: R250. For more info: 079 745 0633 or email sam@sqartistmanagement.co.za
13 sunday Huntersfield equestrian holiday camps for riders and non-riders. Children are supervised and kept busy with games, hiking, campfires, horse riding, scavenger hunts and more. Ends 19 December. Also 27 December–2 January, 3–9 January and 10–16 January. Time: varies. Venue: Leckhampton Valley. Cost: tbc. For more info: 083 778 3672 or email barbara@huntersfieldec.com Spots and Dots Set in the outdoor amphitheatre, this children’s performance is about the spotted animals of the African bush. Ends 24 December; no shows on 19 and 20 December. Time: 10am. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens. Cost: R30. Contact Jean: 082 560 7185
14 monday Pony camps every week of these holidays. Fully supervised. Time: varies. Venue: Outlaw Farm Equestrian Centre. Cost: R1 250 per week, R250 per day. Contact Bev: 031 766 1185 or 083 743 5192 Old Mutual carols by candlelight at the lake Relax under the stars to music by the KZNPO and the Clermont Community Choir. Candles on sale. Time: 6pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens. Cost: adults R70, children R20. For more info: 031 309 1170, 031 202 5819 or visit tunegum.com Bootcamp holiday clinic for children 5–12 years. Activities include climbing nets, mini-hikes, target shooting, mud crawling and more. Ends 15 December; also Delta 7–8 January. Time: 7:15am–2:30pm. Venue: next to Giba Gorge Mountain Bike Park.
18 December Once upon a Miracle
Cost: tbc. For more info: 082 782 6432 or email durban@bootcamp-sa.co.za The Windermere Library is hosting children’s fun and entertaining Christmas activities. Also 15, 17, 21, 22 and 23 December. Time: 10am–11am. Venue: Upper Level, Windermere Centre. Cost: free. For more info: 031 312 5959 Rising star performing arts holiday workshop for ages 8–16 years. Learn more about acting, singing, movement, costumes and more. Ends 18 December. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Westville Round Table Hall. Cost: R300 per day or R900 for all four days. Contact Andrea: 082 994 0984 or Gill: 083 326 3257 Children’s Christmas activities Also 15 December. Time: varies. Venue: Glenashley and Durban North Libraries. Cost: R5. For more info: 031 564 2142 or 031 572 5885 @TAP Holiday Care includes games, crafts and story telling. Ends 18 December. Time: 7:15am–12:30pm. Venue: Durban North Baptist Church. Cost: R120. For more info: 031 563 0882
16 wednesday Santa’s Southern Celebration Mr and Mrs Santa are joined by a host of fairies, angels, stars and sea creatures as they celebrate the magic of Christmas with a singing Christmas tree. Ends 19 December. Time: 7pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: adults R95, children R75. For more info: 031 328 8000 Shongweni Christmas night market features all the regular stalls with lots of good food, Christmas crafts and live music. Time: 2pm till late. Venue: cnr Kassier and Alverstone Rd. Cost: free. Contact Christine: 083 777 1674 or visit shongwenimarket.co.za Carols in Wonderland The Durban North Lions lead carols under the canopy of magically lit trees. Traders and playground open. Ends 18 December. Time: 6pm–9pm. Venue: Golden Hours Family Market. Cost: adults R10, children R5. Contact Lyn: 083 262 3693
17 thursday Santa Claus arrives. Also 18–19 and 21– 24 December. Time: 10am–2pm. Venue: Windermere Centre. Cost: free. For more info: 031 312 5959
18 friday Once upon a Miracle A Christmas production filled with song, dance and drama. Time: 7pm. Also 19 and 20 December at 6pm. Venue: Durban Christian Centre, Mayville. Cost: free. For more info: 031 242 5000
15 tuesday Litchi picking festival Take a tractor trailer trip to the orchard to eat as many litchis as you can or pick and fill a 2kg bag, which is charged for separately. Ends 1 January. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Cane Cutters Resort. Cost: adults R40, children R25. For more info: 032 947 0851 or visit canecuttersresort.co.za Christmas activities for children 4 years and older. Booking essential. Time: 10am– noon. Venue: La Lucia Library. Cost: free. For more info: 031 572 2986
12 December – Meet Father Christmas
durban’s
19 saturday
28 monday
20 wednesday
Karkloof Christmas market features all the regular fare as well as original Christmas gifts. Time: 7am–11am. Venue: Karkloof Rd, 2.6km from Howick. Cost: free entry. Contact Andrea: 082 820 8986
The uShaka summer nights festival features a sunken stage set at Wet ’n Wild. Experience performances by popular bands in the magic water wonderland. Ends 30 December. Time: 7pm–11pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: tbc. For more info: 031 328 8000
Watershed Enjoy food and drinks during the show, meet the band, buy merchandise and get autographs. Also 21 January. Time: tbc. Venue: Barnyard Theatre. Cost: R140. For more info: 031 566 3045
20 sunday Festive steam train departs from Kloof and travels to Inchanga where passengers receive a candle and a hymn sheet to join in the carols. Time: 5pm. Venue: Stokers Arms, Kloof. Cost: adults R130, children R100. For more info: 031 303 3003 or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za Fever Tree Christmas market Father Christmas hands out gifts. Leave a clearly marked wrapped gift for your child. Join in the Christmas carols and enjoy shopping at over 60 stalls. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Claremont Farm, Sheffield Beach Rd. Cost: free. Contact Michelle: 082 775 3998
21 monday Rock On! Beethoven Roelof Coelyn plays Beethoven, who is about to be ejected from heaven for misbehaviour. Ends 10 January. Time: varies. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre. Cost: R80–R115. For more info: 031 566 3045
22 tuesday Christmas at The Food Market features chef demonstrations, a children’s corner and more. Also 30 January. Time: 2pm– 8pm. Venue: The Hellenic Community Centre, 6 High Grove. Cost: free. Contact Emma: 083 707 0531 or visit thefoodmarket.co.za
23 wednesday My Fair Lady features new sets, choreography, costumes and a stellar cast performing to live accompaniment by the KZN Philharmonic Orchestra. Ends 30 December. Time: 3pm and 7:30pm. Venue: The Playhouse Theatre. Cost: R80–R120. Contact The Playhouse: 031 369 9540 or book through Computicket: 083 915 8000
24 thursday Umhlanga summer carnival jazz evening Time: tbc. Venue: Umhlanga Main
durban’s
29 tuesday Celebration A musical celebration of cultures and countries around the world. Ends 9 January. Time: tbc. Venue: Upper Deck Supper Theatre, uShaka Marine World. Cost: R150 includes meal. For more info: 031 328 8000
30 wednesday 22 December Christmas at The Food Market
Beach and Village. Cost: free. For more info: 031 561 4257 or visit umhlanga-tourism.com
25 friday Souk trade and family fair Durban’s largest international Islamic trade fair features fashion, home décor and more. Ends 3 January. Time: noon–midnight. Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre. Cost: adults R15, children R10. For more info: 031 208 1601 The Disney Channel brings you Christmas Day entertainment with brand new episodes of Hannah Montana and Sonny With a Chance as well as a Phineas and Ferb Christmas Special
Arisefest Top Christian artists join together for an unforgettable New Year party. Featuring a skate park, water sports and acoustic stage. Ends 1 January. Time: 8am. Venue: Midmar Dam. Cost: R100. For more info: visit arisefest.com
31 thursday New Year fundraising banquet and chant A special candlelit vegetarian buffet meal. Time: dinner 9pm, chanting every four hours from 7pm. Venue: Mahasiddha Buddhist Centre. Cost: R150, children free. For more info: 031 464 0984 or visit meditateindurban.org
January
26 saturday
6 wednesday
Hannah and Miley Best of Both Girls Ultimate Tribute Show A tribute to the popular TV show featuring hit songs. Ends 10 January. Time: 2pm. Venue: Izulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000
Whisk it! A beginners’ cooking course over three Wednesdays. Ends 20 January. Also 9–23 January on Saturday from 9am–noon. Time: 6pm–9pm. Venue: 23 Saffron Ave, Glen Anil. Cost: R1 500. For more info: 076 721 8256 or email mark_kotze@yahoo.com
27 sunday Sugar Bay New Year camp featuring a Kung Fu Panda theme, fireworks display, New Year party and martial arts workshop. Airport pickup. Ends 3 January. Also 3–10 January. Time: varies. Venue: Zinkwazi. Cost: varies. For more info: 032 485 3778 or email holidays@sugarbay.co.za
22 friday
Prime Circle is performing hits from their All Or Nothing album which has just gone platinum. Also 23 January. Time: tbc. Venue: Barnyard Theatre. Cost: R140. For more info: 031 566 3045
26 tuesday Diamonds and Pearls A tribute to Neil Diamond and Celine Dion featuring popular hits. Ends 7 March. Time: varies. Venue: Barnyard Theatre. Cost: R80–R115. For more info: 031 566 3045 or visit barnyardtheatre.co.za
28 thursday Get more maintenance in 2010 A 90-minute seminar by family law attorney Roger Knowles. Time: 5pm. Venue: Durban Country Club. Cost: R250. For more info: 031 309 2433 or email shery@rogerk.co.za
30 saturday Parent’s guide to organising their children A workshop where you can learn to set routines, declutter, deal with homework and raise organised children. Booking essential. Time: 9am–noon. Venue: tbc. Cost: R400. For more info: 082 673 9740 or visit neatfreak.co.za
13 wednesday Breastfeeding support group Enjoy a casual tea, meet other moms and swap stories about breastfeeding and parenting. Time: 2pm–4pm. Venue: 8 Fairways, Zimbali. Cost: free. Contact: 084 592 7400 or email joduplessis@me.com
20 January - Watershed
December 2009/January 2010
35
Travelling to Cape Town?
Travelling to Joburg?
Pick up a copy of Cape Town’s Child Magazine for a full holiday event guide.
Pick up a copy of Joburg’s Child Magazine for a full holiday event guide.
1 december
6 december
The 5 Annual World AIDS Day Gala Concert This pop and classical concert features Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Sharon Kips, Wilmot Fredericks, the Cape Philharmonic Orchestra and more. Dress code is formal with a touch of red. Time: 7:30pm–9pm. Venue: Artscape Theatre. Cost: R100. Contact: 021 410 9800 th
2 december Paarl full moon picnic Bask in the moonlight in the monument’s garden with panoramic views of the valley. Take your own picnic basket or choose from the menu at Volksmond restaurant. No dogs and fires allowed. Take a torch. Time: 5pm–10pm. Venue: Taalmonument, Paarl. Cost: adults R12, students R5, children R2. For more info: 021 863 2800 or visit taalmonument.co.za
5–7 december Obz Festival The largest street festival of its kind in South Africa. See the city’s top musicians in action, the best of Obz nightlife, a documentary film festival, exciting playgrounds for the children, an extensive craft market as well as the Lazy Sunday concert aimed at jazz lovers. For more info: visit obzfestival.com
2 December – Paarl full moon picnic
6 december The Killers The popular American alternative rock band is in town for one night only. Time: 6pm. Venue: Val de Vie Wine Estate, Paarl. Cost: R396–R526. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit thekillersmusic.com
13–16 december Cape Bonsai Kai Show displays over 100 trees, features a daily education table, ongoing video presentations and demonstrations on how to design and maintain bonsais. There is a variety of trees, pots, tools, starter kits and equipment on sale. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden. Cost: entry into the gardens. Contact Tony: 083 230 5348 or Dorothy: 021 797 8972
Friends of the Rail Take a trip on a 16 December vintage steam train – Jazz at to the old mining the Zoo town of Cullinan. Visit the mine, curio shops or enjoy a lunch in the village. Time: 8:30am. Venue: Friends of the Rail depot, Miechaelson St, Hermanstad, Pretoria. Cost: R90–R150. For more info: 012 548 4090 or visit friendsoftherail.com
13 december French Market Indulge in all things French from baguettes and cheese to flowers and linen. Enjoy the sounds of the resident Marche accordionist while you shop and relax at this unusual market. Time: 9am– 2pm. Venue: Morningside Shopping Centre. Cost: free. For more info: visit morningsideshops.co.za
16 december Jazz at the Zoo Pack your picnic baskets and blankets and unwind to the relaxing sounds of live jazz. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: Johannesburg Zoo, Upper Park Dr, Forest Town. Cost: adults R41, pensioners and children R23. For more info: visit jhbzoo.org.za
25 december Christmas Day Cruise Enjoy a threehour cruise on the Vaal. A traditional Christmas buffet is served and live entertainment completes the festivities. Time: noon–3pm. Venue: departs from Emerald Casino, Vanderbijlpark. Cost: adults R320, children R160. Booking essential. For more info: 016 982 3411 or visit liquidlounge.co.za
31 december Under African Skies New Year party Ring in the new year with music and fireworks. Time: 8pm. Venue: Valley of Waves, Sun City. Cost: adults R180, children R90. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com
6 December – Friends of the Rail
16
1 january
family marketplace
13–16 December – Cape Bonsai Kai Show
Kaapse Klopse, the Cape Town Minstrel Carnival The streets of Cape Town’s CBD come alive to celebrate the New Year in raucous carnival style. Thousands of musicians, singers and dancers gear themselves for this Cape Town tradition. Transformed into costumed, banjo playing musicians and dancers with faces painted white, they parade through the streets to Athlone Stadium to participate in a series of dance, singing and costume competitions. For more info: visit capetownminstrels.co.za
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December 2009/January 2010
durban’s
it’s
party time
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December 2009/January 2010
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last laugh
show time, folks! SAM WILSON reckons it’s a good idea to examine your children’s school – not by perusing its exam results, but by going to the school play.
i
don’t know about you, but I’d much rather my children grow up to be wellrounded, happy and responsible than be able to ace the odd exam. Look around you – who are the grown-ups that you respect most? The single-minded careeronly folk, or those who are managing to get a lot of energy and passion into their jobs and their families, simply by being comfortable in themselves? Bit of a no-brainer, isn’t it? The problem with this view is that it makes it very hard to evaluate schools. It’s easy to count up distinctions, but not so easy to find out if a school is a nice place. Unless, of course, you go to one of its concerts. Because, readers, that’s where the soul of a school hangs out. Nifty idea, nê? I think so. I’ve even come up with a bit of a checklist for you… First, consider the play itself. Are nineyear-olds doing a Junior? Not good. Are
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December 2009/January 2010
horrified teenage boys prancing around as the brothers Von Trapp? Ouch. Is a government school presenting Godspell? Not necessarily the most tolerant of institutions. I personally prefer a home-written romp derived from something more classical perhaps, which allows the children to let their hair down, and laugh at jokes they’ve made themselves. And sing. Singing’s important. Even if it’s bad. Next up, count the actors on stage. If there are only four or five presenting an Athol Fugard play, chances are the school is more interested in showcasing its “stars” rather than confidence boosting and giving the average child a chance to try something new. Are there a whole bunch of miserable, fidgeting three-yearolds in a corner, forced to stay on the stage for hours after their song while their older school mates present The Wind in
the Willows? Not very thoughtful teachers. And so on. Then there’s the costume issue. Has your child come home with a slip which says: “Kindly provide R450 to cover the cost of your daughter’s elephant costume?” Or have you been told: “Your child is going to be a lion. Dress her in yellow, and we’ll be making manes in class.” I know which school I’d choose. And then to quote The Big Lebowski, there’s “the vibe of the thing”. I’ve been to school concerts so slick, you can hear the children’s fear at getting anything wrong. (Oh, that’s another tell… if your child looks in terror at her teacher when she fluffs her lines, be concerned.) I’ve been to others so interminably long and seemingly plotless, that even older children doze off at the edges. I’ve seen anxious children in costumes fit for the West End, and I have seen children busting
with pride out of a hodge-podge of Mom’s old feather boas. I’ve also seen happy explosions of applause when favourite teachers step on stage for a bow, a kind little elbow nudge to get a child’s finger out of his nose, the special glow when a child realises he’s relaxed and enjoying being on stage (“Hey Mom! I’m good at this!”) and heard the collective squeal of relief and excitement when the musty curtains finally close. Perhaps I am biased, because I already love the school my sons attend, but each year when the school puts on a massively energetic and colourful concert of happy children bounding about in assorted costumes, I think to myself, “Yay! This school has its heart in the right place.” Happy concert season, folks. And we’ll see you back at the grind next year. Sam is the editor in chief of health24.com, parent24.com and women24.com
durban’s
PHOTOGRAPH: TAMMY GARDNER
Benj, Sam and Joe