Child Magazine | Durban Nov 2010

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

rands & sense

raising young entrepreneurs

out & about ✢ toddler-friendly restaurants ✢ summer camps for your preteen and teen

tongue twister top tips for bilingual families

15 handmade

gifts for teachers

www.childmag.co.za

November 2010

free

health

toddlers +

teenagers

education

entertainment

I love November.

Yes, there are only about 25 school days left in the year, and it’s by far the busiest and most stressful term – but it’s the last term. And that means awe-inspiring year-end concerts, carols by candlelight, awards ceremonies (short, I hope), last-minute fundraisers and, finally, graduations.

Although I am staring rather wide-eyed at the coming month and the work that’ll need to be done, I am also looking forward to it. I consider the opportunity to work with my children’s schools a privilege. Sure, there’s the odd occasion it feels more like an obligation but, mostly, it’s fun. I have thoroughly enjoyed serving drinks and chatting to people at the welcome evening for new parents or standing behind a trestle table spooning tomato relish into boerewors rolls at the school fête.

However, enduring a couple of hours of braai smoke in your eyes is a breeze compared to what goes into getting a six-year-old ready for an end-of-year ballet concert – especially if, like me, you hate sewing. I remember only too well the year my youngest needed to be transformed into a shimmery red starfish: luckily the woman at the fabric shop steered me towards a material made for moms like me. Sure I had to painstakingly sew the two halves together by hand (I don’t have a sewing machine), but the non-fray material meant all I needed to do to “hem” the costume was hold the edge of the fabric over a candle’s flame and voilà, the sea creature’s extremities were sealed!

I think the ballet teacher got a little stage fright of her own on seeing my handiwork… but luckily the sequined outfit looked suitably dazzling from the audience.

Enjoy your November.

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Elaine Eksteen • elaine@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za

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magazine durban

Durban’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

Office address: 1st Floor, MB House, 641 Ridge Road, Overport, 4091. Tel: 031 209 2200, fax: 031 207 3429, email: durban@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Durban’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may arise from reading them.

November 2010

contents

november 2010

upfront 3

a note from lisa

6

ver to you o readers respond

14

features 14 on the money

Jeanne Maclay-Mayers gives tips on how to raise little entrepreneurs 18 talk, khuluma, praat...

Tracy Ellis on raising a bilingual or multilingual child

regulars 8

wins

9

pfront with paul u a nervous Paul Kerton reflects on his little girl becoming a teen

12

dealing with difference one child has a learning difference, the other doesn’t. Nina Mensing looks at how to cope as a family

22 handmade with love

Tamlyn Vincent shares great ideas

for home-made teacher’s gifts

health 10 burning up

Marina Zietsman looks at fevers in babies

25 r esource toddler-friendly restaurants and summer camps for teens

31 a good read

new books for the whole family

18 32 what’s on in november 42 l ast laugh Sam Wilson gives the okay on parents under-parenting occasionally

classified ads

22

38 family marketplace 41 it’s party time

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

Jacadi (Hyde Park, Joburg) Contact: 011 325 6077

November 2010

thinkstockphotos.com

thinkstockphotos.com

magazine durban

magazine durban

November 2010

letters parenting

over to you what not to ask

s-racially are often the Families who adopt cros tiny. DONNA COBBAN scru d ante subjects of unw e parents about the speaks to a few of thes cause. stress this probing can

meet the families:

aged two and two adopted daughters mother and father to to arrive Laurie* and Craig*, baby number three due kitted out for adopted three, with a room being year. the of before the end

family ties

When I read the article “what not to ask” in the October issue of Child magazine, I felt compelled to share my perspective. I have three amazing children: two biological sons aged 12 and 4 and an adopted little girl, who’s two and a half. I, too, have faced the intrusions and comments the women expressed in the article. I have, however, chosen to respond in a different way.

My daughter is from a different ethnic group to us. We have come across a lot of prejudice but it has been incredible to watch this little girl challenge people’s paradigms and melt hearts. While the constant stares and questions at first bothered me, I quickly realised I had a choice. I can either put up a wall or I can engage. In a country that has five d son and daughter, aged and father to an adopte Julia* and David*, mother . cal son, aged 18 months and two, and a biologi and two. d girl and boy, aged four and father to an adopte Erica* and Tony*, mother

w

ant of e are in the local restaur town a small Western Cape friend – there’s my son, my holiday on are We Laurie and her two girls. selected this spot for a few days and have there is a small play to have lunch because of whom are under all n, childre our for area I notice a couple four. As we sit down, mutters something staring at us, the man in our direction and under his breath, looks at us, as if the world shakes his sad head now finally coming as he once knew it is to an end.

I bristle and am Laurie doesn’t see this. over to him and on the verge of walking of him, when I stop telling him what I think

EN TIONS: MARIETTE BARKHUIZ CKPHOTOS.COM, ILLUSTRA

aged three, with

matter far more than myself. Our children their sake, he is best this man does and, for his head because ignored. He didn’t shake or out of hand, no, our children were loud e Laurie’s girls he shook his head becaus entally, the rest of us, are black and coincid Laurie included, are white. the children and left Later when he has the experience are out of earshot I share no stranger to the with Laurie, who is and negative, that interest, both positive . Laurie is of the her diverse family attracts n choose us, and belief that “our childre to parent a specific that we will be called of how that little soul little soul, regardless could be truer when comes to us”. Nothing

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTO

an adopted daughter, ine*, both mothers to Heather* and Cather girl expected soon. a second adopted baby

town magazine cape

9/13/10 4:13:06 PM

November 2010

thousands of orphans, I feel a responsibility to encourage the decision to adopt. I honour my daughter’s birth mother and, as tough as it is to answer the question about my daughters “real” mother, I have chosen to engage in the conversations. Only by opening up to others can we make society see multi-ethnic families as normal. It has been our privilege to enjoy the presence of this wonderful angel and has forever changed our family into what I deem to be perfect.

Anonymous

dealing with difference Thank you for raising awareness through the many articles printed in Child magazine about spectrum disorders. My son, now seven years, was diagnosed with PDD (NOS) [pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified]. It has been an incredibly challenging but rewarding journey with many difficult times but also plenty of happy moments. I would like to thank the different people who I have met

on this journey and who have assisted me in coping with all the challenges. Many of these have been colleagues at work who have offered their advice and support and, in so doing, have given me the strength to continue.

At the beginning of this year I moved my son from a special-needs school to a mainstream school and, at first, the wheels came off. The school, relatives, friends and colleagues assisted and supported us without hesitation. The result is a confident little boy – and so I do agree [with the author of the October blog] that it takes a village to raise a spectrum child.

Melanie Lewis This year, our 10-year-old son, Matthew, was finally diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as well as dyspraxia. It has been quite a journey to this point. He is a high-functioning child, who is very bright, and has a wonderful sense of humour. He has been in a mainstream school since the start, but he has always danced to the beat

of a different drum. The lesson our family has learnt this year is to celebrate our specific talents and the gifts that make us unique. Matthew has discovered a passion and an extraordinary talent for drawing. He may never be a sporty child, may never be able to play a musical instrument or be a star on stage, but his gift sets him apart and brings us all immense joy.

For years we have focused on his weaknesses. We have tried to no avail to encourage him to be “normal” – to sit still, look at someone in the eyes when he talks to them, say “hello” when someone greets him – these are things that don’t come naturally to him. He is slowly learning social rules and though he looks rather awkward and is easy to poke fun at, he has a gentle, fragile little soul inside.

My prayer is that we learn to see each other’s abilities, rather than disabilities. I think this is a valuable lesson for everyone, and I’m eternally grateful that my beautiful son gets to teach me that every day.

Nikki Loans

magazine durban

being a gifted child

a psychological evaluation, or more

I am 13 years old and go to a school

simply, an IQ test.

for gifted learners. I read your article on

Two weeks later, my whole life

gifted children (in the August 2010 issue)

changed. The results proved I was a

and thought your readers might want to

gifted or high-potential learner. I had

know what it’s like to be gifted…

four options:

“Grace! Focus, please! Now class,

Option 1: skip a grade

does anyone have any other topic-

Option 2: just carry on what I was doing

related questions?”

Option 3: get extension lessons

“I’m sorry, sir, but I read it somewhere and was wondering if it was true.”

Option 4: go to a special school.

Option 2 was ruled out immediately. If

“Well, you can learn about that next

there was a way out of my personal hell, I

year. We are trying to accommodate

was going for it. We next ruled out option

the needs of the whole class, and the

1. I was in Grade 7 in a primary school;

majority doesn’t understand yet, so

which high school would allow me to

stop trying to get ahead.”

skip a grade and accept me with my bad

This was the norm during a school

grades? So, we settled for option 4.

lesson. School used to be hell – from the

I fitted in immediately. Everyone

boring lessons to making friends. I didn’t

understood me. I couldn’t believe school

fit into any of the crowds, and my marks

could be like this – the rude students were

were average. It didn’t make any sense.

missing, as well as the unreasonable

Other learners would achieve averages

teachers and the boring work! I will be

of 90 percent, yet I could spell more

going in to Grade 8 in 2011, where we’ll

difficult words and solve more complex

follow the Cambridge school system.

maths problems than they could.

This means that we don’t have to finish

My parents always used to tell

a grade at a certain time. My goal is to

me I was clever, and up until Grade

finish grade 8 and 9 in 2011, and then

5 I believed them. It wasn’t only my

grades 10, 11 and 12 in 2012 and 2013,

parents that were disappointed. I was

therefore finishing school at 16. I have

too. At the end of one particularly bad

found my second home!

year (Grade 6), my mom took me for

Grace

magazine durban

spring clean and donate I was driving home with my children the other day, thinking about cleaning out their cupboards and donating their toys to charity. I want to teach my little girl about giving, and that there are poor and needy people out there. During the drive I was wondering where I could take her to teach her about the gift of giving.

Later that evening I started reading your September issue and found all the information I needed on charities and where to donate unwanted items – what a great coincidence! Thanks for the help.

Traci

understanding today’s youth I consider myself fortunate to have been on a recent Positive Parenting Skills workshop. How I wish that all parents could attend – in today’s challenging times we need all the help we can get!

It was a journey of self-discovery for the

group, and definitely an eye-opener. It taught us how important it is to lead by example. So often we forget that in order to be respected by our children, we first need to treat them with respect and we need to acknowledge their feelings. The practical exercises made us relate to how our children need us as pillars to fall back on, but sometimes we have to give way so that they can grow independently.

The way that we speak to our children can either make or break them. If spoken to lovingly, the results can only be good.

We all need our space, and firstly need to take a step back to be in a positive state of mind (especially when we are tired or angered) so we don’t cause permanent unnecessary harm. Words are powerful.

Sure, everybody makes mistakes, but our children are depending on us to learn from these and to never give up on them.

Shereen Hendricks

write to us We would like to know what’s on your mind. Send your letters to: marina@ childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

November 2010

wins

giveaways in november these shoes are made for walking

chic rooms Treehouse Children’s Décor Company has everything you need for children’s rooms, including bedding, curtaining, furniture, soft furnishings and accessories. The fabric used is 100 percent cotton percale and the furniture and accessories are lead free. They also offer a customising service for bedding and curtains not available in their ranges. Visit their stores at The Crescent, Umhlanga Ridge (031 566 3748) or The Richdens Village, Hillcrest (031 765 8151); or go to treehouse.co.za to shop online. For more information contact 021 591 1900 or info@treehouse.co.za One reader of Durban’s Child stands a chance to win a R2 000 gift voucher from Treehouse. To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with “Treehouse DBN Win” in the subject line or post your entry to Treehouse DBN Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 30 November 2010. Only one entry per reader.

By entering this competition you agree to Hunter House Publishing supplying your contact details to the company providing the win and/or their agents and you may receive marketing communication from them, as a result.

November 2010

Children spend hours each week in their school shoes.

Add to this the fact that our bones continue to grow until we reach the age of 25, and it becomes vital that children wear quality shoes. For more than 30 years Green Cross has collaborated with orthopaedic experts to develop the perfect anatomical school shoe, which helps support and conform to the shape of the foot, ensuring growing bones and joints are not damaged or distorted and are instead allowed the freedom to develop naturally. The shoes are designed to be comfortable, flexible and long lasting. For more information visit green-cross.com Five readers of Durban’s Child stand a chance to win a Green Cross voucher for a pair of school shoes valued between R180 and R335.

To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with “Green Cross DBN Win” in the subject line or post your entry to Green Cross DBN Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 30 November 2010.

Only one entry per reader.

congratulations to our september winners Mandi Gamley who wins a FatSak; Olivia Schroeder who wins in the Toddler Sense giveaway; Pinkie Booysen who wins Lovebug teething amber beads; Annaleen Majid, Kebashnee Jurakhan, Tess Egersdörfer and Tertia Meyer who each win a Mexican Bola.

magazine durban

upfront with paul

yikes, it’s happening PAUL KERTON on the white-knuckle ride of parenting the pubescent.

PHOTOGRAPH: JILL BADER

i

remember rubbing sun cream on my daughter’s body last year, as I have done for the previous 10 summers, thinking to myself: this might be the last time I will be doing this.

Sure enough, as the clock struck midnight on her eleventh birthday her body exploded into a pre-pubescent tsunami of hormones with stark evidence of pending womanhood. To be honest, I know the onset of puberty is getting earlier and earlier, but I thought it might have had the decency to wait another year. No such luck.

No more carefree wandering about the house naked; privacy is suddenly the biggest issue of the moment. (Notice: hers, not mine. She still idly rattles on about Justin Bieber while I’m in the bath).

Her bedroom door now spends most of its time tightly shut, with her performing a lightning tuck into the foetal position should I unwittingly enter at a “bad” time.

magazine durban

I now knock first before opening with a polite: “are you decent?”

Mom and daughter huddle for semisecretive whispery chats about “girl’s stuff” and “cycles”, and not the kind you ride in the Argus. I have to remind them that I did produce a cool teenage magazine called wicked, and have enormous insight into this particular stage of the female growth cycle; based largely on the personal and often extremely graphic letters to the editor from a nation of girls-to-women. These ranged from quaint, innocent crushes on unsuitable boys and an inability to master the art of eye-shadow, through to eyewateringly disturbing tales of 13-year-olds doing all manner of experimental things that are best left to the imagination.

I also remember, during my unsuccessful attempt at teaching in a tough high school in Liverpool, trying to impart sex education to a class of 30 14-year-olds, where the pupils were light years apart in terms

of development. Two wallflowers at the front of the class had never been kissed and the two punkettes at the back were already pregnant.

Yes, the minefield of teenage youth beckons. How to get your child to complete the journey from 12 to 19 without them getting arrested, addicted to drugs, becoming an alcoholic, getting pregnant, transmitting some hideous disease, suffering from depression and low self-esteem or harming themselves irreparably. The traditional jokes about shotguns and daughters fall flat, as reality sets in.

It is going to be a white-knuckle ride for all of us. We cannot ring-fence them with rules and regulations – they really do have to make their own mistakes.

The best we can do is try and limit those mistakes to manageable ones. Send them off armed with common sense, a set of proper values, strong family support and

Paul, Sabina and Saskia

the knowledge that we will always love them and be there for them. And should anything dodgy happen along the way, we will be there to talk to and listen.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.

November 2010

health

burning up MARINA ZIETSMAN helps parents understand fevers in babies.

what’s hot?

home care

What is considered a fever depends on the part of the body from which the temperature is measured, says Dr Martin Baigel, a paediatrician at the Life Glynnwood Hospital in Benoni. “From the mouth, 37,8 degrees Celsius is classified as a fever, and from the ear or rectally, 38 degrees Celsius. If you take the temperature under the armpit, higher than 37,5 degrees Celsius should be considered a fever,” says Baigel. But, “an infant under the age of three months with a fever, or who looks ill, should always be assessed by a doctor or an experienced nursing

Home treatment of a fever requires an informed parent who can differentiate between an ill child requiring professional help, and one whose condition can simply be monitored.

“When a child is ‘happy and hot’, one can withhold medication and observe,” says Baigel. But a child who is unwell with a fever is a different matter. “If the child is miserable, refuses fluids, vomits and is not sleeping, she should get immediate medical treatment.” This also applies to a child who is listless or lethargic, constantly crying, not reacting to parent stimulation, or exhibiting a change in

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November 2010

skin colour, various states of consciousness, skin rashes and not responding to attempts to bring down the fever.

Walele suggests that the fever can be home-treated with paracetamol, Ibuprofen or mefenamic acid (a non-steroidal, anti-inflammatory drug, found in Ponstel, for example).

“Various generics are available, but look for alcohol-, preservative- and sugar-free remedies, and also administer the recommended dose. Aspirin in any form should never be given to a child.” He also advises sponging off the little one with lukewarm water, administering sufficient fluids, fanning the child and dressing them in light clothing.

from fever to seizure Some children have a genetic predisposition to febrile convulsions, seizures caused by high temperatures that can last from less than a minute to up to five minutes. The age group most affected is children between six months and five years. Febrile convulsions, although frightening, are not serious, and do not cause brain damage or increased incidences of epilepsy later in life, says Baigel. However, “all first-time seizures should be considered serious, until proven otherwise,” says Walele. Baigel continues, “parents must never assume that all future seizures are not serious.

There could be other more critical causes of seizures that warrant urgent attention.”

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

i

t is important to remember that while fevers can be serious, particularly in newborn babies, an increased temperature is the body’s way of showing that the immune system is reinforcing its efforts to fight an illness or infection.

sister,” says Dr Azeem Walele, chief paediatrician at 2 Military Hospital in Wynberg, Cape Town.

The most common cause of fevers in babies is a viral infection such as the common cold, flu, viral gastroenteritis, chicken pox and measles. Small babies can also develop a slight fever when teething, after immunisation or when dressed too warmly. Baigel says the “best method for measuring your baby’s temperature is with an ear thermometer”, though these devices are costly.

Other reliable methods include using a digital thermometer to measure temperature under the arms, orally or rectally (care needs to be taken with this procedure); glass thermometers with mercury are less widely used.

feature

magazine durban

November 2010

11

dealing with difference

the “other” child NINA MENSING on some of the stressors for siblings of children with learning differences.

he’ll always be my brother Emma*, an 11-year-old from Bryanston, is very close to her older brother Jonathan*, who is 13. They enjoy playing golf together, and have many of the same friends.

Jonathan has Asperger’s Syndrome, and this year is his first year in a mainstream school. Their parents do not allow Jonathan to use Asperger’s as an excuse for bad behaviour. They are intent on treating their children the same and allowing them to work out their infrequent spats by themselves. They openly talk through things

12

November 2010

within the family, as well as with outsiders in order for others to understand some of Jonathan’s behaviour. Their handling of the situation goes a long way towards a more tranquil home environment. Emma says that she feels there is no difference in the time and attention that she and her brother get, and she does not find his behaviour too different. “After all,” she says, “he is my brother and he has always been that way.”

making it work or making work of it?

KwaZulu-Natal-based ADHD coach Dave Pughe-Parry, founder of LADD (Living ADDventure), says that siblings can get involved in the care of the child with a learning difference, although this would depend on the ages of the children. This gives the sibling a job, creating self-esteem, and the child with special needs gets positive sibling attention.

moods that if I did not make the effort we would have no relationship.” Although Fiona never lacked for attention and time with her parents, she was aware that her younger sister got more than she did. Subconsciously she understood, but that did not stop her frustration towards the diagnosis. Her anger at the situation also made her mentally block out any understanding that she might have gained from listening to her parents. No child likes be told what to do and feel, especially when it comes to emotional family relationships. It took reading a book and attending a support workshop before she could fully accept and comprehend what was going on. More than the knowledge that she gained, it was the feeling of not being so isolated and alone that made her open her mind to understand more, and open her heart to connect empathetically with her sister.

More difficult, though, was the fact that she was expected to be understanding and empathetic. Instead she felt irritated, and then guilty for feeling this way.

One school of thought is that these siblings mature faster than their age group. They are often left on their own to sort things out, like their homework for example, while the parents are concentrating on the needs of the child with a learning difference. Having a child with special needs can become all consuming – what with speech therapy, occupational therapy, homework, extra lessons, extramurals and, often, different schools – leaving the sibling to their own devices. However, Dave warns that getting too emotionally caught up in the challenges will usually make the problem bigger.

Sixteen year old Fiona* finds the expectations the most difficult to cope with. Her younger sister Angie* (now 11) was diagnosed with early onset Bipolar Mood Disorder at the age of nine. Not being a naturally emotional child, Fiona found it difficult to comprehend the range of emotions that Angie was suffering from. More difficult, though, was the fact that she was expected to be understanding and empathetic. Instead she felt irritated, and then guilty for feeling this way.

No one can feel the same empathy towards a child as their parents do, yet often parents are so caught up in things, they expect everyone else in the family to feel the same way towards the child as they do.

“I often felt sad that I did not connect more with Angie. There was so much stress in the family, and I constantly felt like I had to put the effort in to create a bond with her. She was always so wrapped up in her

Knowledge is key in any area of special needs and mental health, and sometimes it takes someone other than one’s parents for the knowledge to be accepted. That is why family interventions can be so positive. PugheParry suggests that families have a meeting once a week, preferably around a dinner table. This can include planning the menu, shopping and cooking together. During the meal each member of the family should have their say, with no interruptions. It’s the opportunity for everyone to discuss family problems and solutions. The trick is to listen rather than offer advice. Not only does this meeting give each one a turn to express their feelings, it also brings the family together over a regular planned activity, with a certain amount of responsibility involved in preparing the meal. In fact, this meeting idea is excellent for any family.

the big picture In essence every child should be treated holistically. For the sibling of a child with a learning difference, support in the way of a psychologist or a support group or mentor can go a long way to easing some of the pressure – but one should not overlook the role that fun activities, creativity, exercise and nutrition can have in your child’s life. Fischer’s survey so far indicates that, for families with special needs children, an inclusive plan that involves everybody, can go a long way to a happy family environment. *Names have been changed magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

ibling relationships are usually the longest and closest relationships that one will have, yet they can be intense, painful and extremely complex. I doubt there’s a family that can say that they have not dealt with some form of sibling rivalry. “You love her more than me!”

“You always take his side!” Sound familiar?

Yet the issue of sibling rivalry becomes that much more complex when one of the siblings has a learning difference. As a parent we naturally need to spend more time on the child with autism, Asperger’s and Tourette’s Syndrome and ADHD or the like. Or stand up for them in a sibling argument when they cannot stand up for themselves. This is bound to create extreme emotions of jealousy, rivalry, resentment as well as guilt.

Mareli Fischer, who’s currently doing her masters in clinical psychology, is doing a survey on the effects and stresses, if any, that a child with a learning difference has on a family. Her conclusions so far? Much depends on how parents handle the situation.

magazine durban

November 2010

13

parenting

on the money

Entrepreneurship encompasses constant curiosity, a desire to solve problems, to see life differently, to find and follow your passion, and to wonder about how you can make positive changes in society.

ntrepreneurship is a buzzword of our time.

Economists are hoping that entrepreneurs will pull South Africa’s economy up by its bootstraps and help unemployment vanish. Schools encourage market days to nurture business talent, and parents are pleased when their offspring display entrepreneurial tendencies – even when those parents themselves hold safe and secure jobs. It seems we all recognise that being able to make money is a talent that will serve children well when they grow up. But what turns a child into an entrepreneur?

Common sense would lead one to suppose that it is a mixture of natural aptitude and environmental exposure.

This seems to be the recipe in the case of 13-year-old Daniël Steyn. Daniël, who runs Skadulaan Theatre from his family home in Stellenbosch, was inspired by his uncle, Barrie Terblanche, an entrepreneur and co-author of the book Starting Your Own Business in South Africa. Daniël’s ambitions are also assisted by the fact that his mother, Ronel, is involved in consulting for small businesses.

However, Ronel feels that Daniël, rather than being inspired to become an entrepreneur in particular, is inspired by his passions for cooking and entertainment, and “takes an entrepreneurial approach to these passions”.

Daniël’s first venture was a clown-and-stilt performance at a car park, where he enjoyed receiving the donations of passers-by. This was followed by a neighbourhood talent show in his garage. Daniël then sold cleverly packaged condensed-milk treats at the weekly market days at his school, Laerskool Eikestad. He made a 50 percent profit on his popular product line. Skadulaan Theatre, Daniël’s latest enterprise, holds talent shows and music-quiz evenings, as well as forwarding itself as a recording studio and a production house (see skadulaantheatre.synthasite.com).

Unfortunately – whether his skills come from nature or nurture, or the lucky coincidence of both – Daniël is not typical of young South Africans.

encouraging entrepreneurship Linda McClure, MD of Junior Achievement South Africa (JASA), observes that, “At the moment, most

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November 2010

young people will go into business because they think they can’t do anything else. They aren’t seeing it as a choice; that it’s a career option.” She says that when learners are asked whether they would prefer to get a job or start their own business, the majority still say, “I’d rather just get a job”. Many believe being an employee is more secure.

JASA is an organisation that is rolling out entrepreneurship programmes in many schools that leave learners feeling, “I can start a business and I can make money”. This is particularly relevant in the present economy when the stable life of the employee seems more and more a thing of the past.

SA Teen Entrepreneur is another organisation that is focusing on stimulating entrepreneurship. It recently held a Teen Biz Building Boot Camp in Cape Town, where Peter Greenwall, through his highly engaging interactive musical comedy presentation, encouraged teens to come up with their own business ideas based on their experiences, talents, passions, fears and frustrations (see teenentrepreneur. co.za). The ideas produced ranged from an innovative use of a shopping trolley to teen dating scenarios.

Greenwall is confident that the ideas can be turned into thriving businesses. He says SA Teen Entrepreneur is teaming up with various organisations and experts to “mentor, coach and get start-up capital”. In 2011 it will establish a Teen Entrepreneur Centre that will coordinate these activities. However, JASA and SA Teen Entrepreneur don’t have the funds to reach all the young people in our country, and in most cases it is the Economics and Management Sciences (EMS) teachers who must support children’s blossoming business talents.

The Grade 7 EMS curriculum, for example, requires learners to participate in a joint venture that produces goods or a service; run a business event based on a questionnaire they have designed; and advertise their business venture. It is no surprise then that market days are commonly held at South African primary schools so that learners can achieve these goals.

When Grove Primary in Claremont, Cape Town, held a market day the teachers wanted to make sure that magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM, Arthur Buitendag of Studio8photography.co.za

Tips for cultivating entrepreneurial skills in our children. By JEANNE MACLAY-MAYERS

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parenting

Making children into entrepreneurs does not involve creating materialistic profit-seekers but creative individuals who solve problems both for themselves and those around them.

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the learners got fully involved in the design process and focused on a particular target market, so they asked learners in the higher grades to make products to sell to the Grade 1s. Each learner then made a product that used their specific talents. For example, Tamia Morgan made colouring-in books by drawing pictures designed to appeal to the Grade 1s, and thoroughly enjoyed unleashing her creativity.

However, according to education consultant Alexandra Pinnock, although the school curriculum in theory provides for entrepreneurship, the true essence of it is not addressed in most South African schools. For Pinnock, entrepreneurship needs to be encouraged as a culture and a way of thinking, but many teachers are so focused on end-of-year marks that there’s little time for nurturing creative thinkers. This suggests that parents have a big role to play if they want their children to acquire an entrepreneurial mindset.

Home-schooling mom Lisa-Marie Young was caught by surprise when her daughter, Jessica (10 years old), received an order for a cake from her hobby website (kidzcakes. co.za). But she has supported her daughter wholeheartedly as Jessica has embraced such opportunities and extended her business to include make-your-own-cupcake activities at the neighbourhood market. Now Jessica even makes

icing embellishments for resale at a local baking shop.

Through all these activities Jessica has earned enough money to buy herself a laptop, which she now uses to maintain her website – and she has inspired her younger brother Nicholas to think of business ideas of his own.

Parents wanting their own children to become entrepreneurial should encourage them to use their natural talents, start small and then grow their business, adapt to what their market wants and persevere in the face of setbacks.

Parents may also need to consider offering funding for start-up capital, and be prepared for returns to not necessarily follow after the first venture.

While children often think of business ventures in terms of making goods to sell, they can offer services instead. Rosalind Resnick, CEO of Axxess Business Consulting, a New York consulting firm that advises startups and small businesses, notes in an article she wrote for blog.entrepreneur.com that service businesses require less capital and often earn more of a profit. She suggests children might engage in dog-walking, lawn-mowing and poop-scooping around the neighbourhood, or could teach members of the older generation about new technology such as Facebook, “social-media consulting” as she calls it.

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the age issue When my stepson Chris was eight I encouraged him to make and sell origami mobiles, as he clearly had a talent he could use. Chris sold one for R50 and I was delighted, but then he got bored – to my dismay at the time. Chris loved the challenge of making a new paper creature, but he didn’t want to churn out Japanese swans like a one-child production line – and he shouldn’t have to.

This made me wonder what age was suitable to start encouraging children to engage in business activities, and when it was too soon to intrude upon a person’s childhood in such a way.

Cape Town play therapist and child counsellor Tessa Eadie is all for supporting children’s entrepreneurial ventures when they are self-driven, but thinks that the process is just as important as the product. For Eadie, entrepreneurial activities provide an opportunity for children to think about their passions, as well as enhancing their emotional development and building self-esteem. Moreover, she believes that entrepreneurial activities “make the link between effort and reward tangible” and “provide one more level on which children can engage with their environment and tune in to the feedback they receive”.

Lydia Zingoni, director of SA Teen Entrepreneur, thinks that children should be encouraged to convert

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their talents and passions into businesses as soon as possible, as long as they are protected by appropriate support structures. While the traditional definition of entrepreneurship is the combining of natural and human resources to create a profit, for Zingoni entrepreneurship “is more of a mindset than merely a desire to make and sell goods and services”. She says that entrepreneurship encompasses constant curiosity, a desire to solve problems, to see life differently, to find and follow your passion, and to wonder about how you can make positive changes in society.

Zingoni believes that both children and teenagers should “be encouraged to have a sense of social responsibility for their communities” and she sees social entrepreneurship as key in most parts of South Africa.

Clearly, for her, making children into entrepreneurs does not involve creating materialistic profit-seekers but creative individuals who solve problems both for themselves and those around them, which is why developing entrepreneurial skills is appropriate from a young age. Peter Greenwall adds, “The entrepreneurial mindset... is a positive mindset that makes you never give up on finding solutions to daily and universal problems...

Luckily the world is full of problems, so we are never without inspiration!”

Jessica Young runs an online cupcake business called Kidz Cakes.

how can you improve your children’s money-management skills?

Lydia Zingoni of SA Teen Entrepreneur: “Don’t over-spoil your children – let them see the value of money, how they can make it and how they can keep it.”

Elena Meyer of JASA: “Help your children control a budget. This could mean helping them plan how they will use their monthly pocket money or letting them become involved in choosing what makes it onto the household shopping list.”

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talk

praat

a m u l u kh thetha sprechen

parler

charla

TRACY ELLIS draws inspiration from families

eter Piper and his peck of pickled peppers are proof that it’s easy enough to get your tongue twisted around one language, let alone two or more. Yet despite the challenges, many parents are successfully raising bilingual, and even multilingual, children.

Nik Fairclough, a business owner and father of three girls, was raised bilingual. His mom speaks only Swedish to him while his dad speaks English. He now uses the one-parent-one-language method in his own family with much success. Nik speaks only Swedish to his daughters, while his wife Lynne speaks only English.

“We’ve just spent five weeks in Sweden and the girls had no problem conversing, although when spoken to in Swedish they will almost always reply in English.”

This is known as passive bilingualism. Nik says the girls can speak Swedish when required to but English is their dominant language, since they live in an Englishspeaking community and attend English schools. His wife Lynne can even understand basic Swedish now after hearing it spoken daily to her children for the last 17 years.

method or muddle The definitions and degrees of bilingualism vary – some parents feel that raising a child who can make himself understood in a second language is sufficient, while others feel the child should learn to read and write the language in addition to speaking and understanding it. Some children may only be able to speak one dominant language but can listen in two languages, while others may achieve equal fluency in two or more languages.

The methods for raising bilinguals are just as diverse but most parents and experts prefer the one-parentone-language method, where each parent speaks only one language to the child from birth, thereby introducing two languages simultaneously. This method especially suits naturally bilingual parents or parents with different native languages. Parents who both speak a single native language may rely on the community or school to teach the secondary language, or if both parents can speak a

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second language fairly well, they may speak it at home, relying on the community to teach the dominant or majority language. Some parents communicate with their children and each other in mixed languages, switching between them with no clearly defined rules. Others prefer to introduce a second language only after the first language is well established. Monolingual parents may employ an au pair or nanny of another mother tongue to give their children the gift of bilingualism.

Children learning to communicate in naturally bilingual households should ideally learn both languages simultaneously.

Cape Town mother Nicole Wieners can speak and understand six different languages. She and her three siblings were raised in a multilingual home. “Our parents are fluent in English, Afrikaans, Dutch and German,” says Nicole. “We spoke German at home, English at school and we had a language roster next to our beds assigning different languages to different days of the week. Besides the four languages our parents were teaching us, we were also learning Zulu and French at school.” Although Nicole feels that six languages was confusing at times, she can now speak and understand all six languages and is literate in four of them.

Nicole and her husband Seigi have successfully raised their five-year-old daughter Arwen to be fluent in English, Afrikaans and German. Nicole feels the one-parent-one-language method is the best and she now speaks only German to Arwen, while her husband speaks mostly Afrikaans to her. They have chosen to communicate with one another in English. Arwen goes to a German school and watches English television.

“Her grammar at five is not always spot on but she can converse in all three languages and switch between

them when necessary. Her strongest language is German because she attends school in this language plus she’s hearing it at home.”

Although it is not impossible to achieve fluency later in life, experts agree that the optimal time to learn a language is during the baby and toddler years. “Children under the age of six years are more able to learn different languages with ease due to neural plasticity,” says speech and language therapist Kate More, whose special interest lies in bilingual families. “This is when the brain’s neural pathways are not yet fixed and they still have the capacity to develop new pathways with ease. It’s not that learning stops at age six, but rather that learning is much faster during the formative years.”

More believes that children are capable of learning as many as five languages before the age of six, but age and aptitude should be taken into consideration when deciding on the best method to use and how many languages to introduce. “One also needs to gauge the efficacy of communication in these languages as well as the reasons the children are learning this many languages simultaneously.” Accents, pronunciation and intonation will vary from child to child depending on the source from which they are learning the predominant portion of the language.

“Children who learn English predominantly from listening to the television, for example, will speak with an American accent using American vocabulary. They may say ketchup rather than tomato sauce,” says More. The more engaged a child is in the language he is learning and the more exposed he is to the language in its natural environment, be it through school, friends, the community or parents, the more natural his pronunciation and intonation will be. Some research suggests that the more languages a child is introduced to, the less fluent he will be in each language. At some point you have to weigh up quantity versus quality. Educational psychologist Sharon Doubell Robins comments, “Although bilingualism is a priceless gift to give to your children, if bought at the cost of a well-developed mother tongue – which appears increasingly to be happening in South Africa – it can be a very mixed blessing.” magazine durban

ILLUSTRATIONS: SAMANTHA SUMMERFIELD

raising bilingual and multilingual children.

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tongue twisters While the benefits of raising bilingual children may be clear, it may not always be plain sailing. Some of the biggest concerns when raising bilinguals are language confusion, language delay and speech problems. Experts agree that a bilingual home environment may cause a temporary delay in the development of both languages and that bilingual children may appear to confuse the two languages, but feel this is not cause for concern. Research suggests that monolingual and bilingual children reach major developmental milestones at similar times.

Factors such as gender, aptitude, timing, motivation, consistency and siblings may affect the desired outcome and More feels that if the child is already struggling

with one language, introducing a second language could be detrimental. “Children learning to communicate in naturally bilingual households should ideally learn both languages simultaneously. For any other child, I recommend that the first language be well established before introducing a second language.” As a guideline More suggests that most children will have grasped their first language by the age of three but she believes that some children are just better at languages than others so this guideline will vary depending on the child’s ability. Parents who are concerned with any progress in language development should seek the help of a speech therapist. “Early intervention is key in remediating language problems,” says More, who has seen children with severe behavioural problems bounce back

Children are capable of learning as many as five languages before the age of six. learning the lingo Some of the terms used on the topic of bilingualism Simultaneous bilingualism: learning two languages together from birth Receptive bilingualism: being able to understand two languages but speak only one Sequential or successive bilingualism: learning a second language after already establishing a first language Natural bilingualism: a child raised in a naturally occurring bilingual environment, by bilingual parents or in a foreign community Artificial bilingualism: a child raised in an intentionally bilingual environment i.e. placed in a foreign school by monolingual parents or tutored in a second language from a young age Passive bilingualism: children understand two languages but choose to speak only in the dominant language

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with simple language correction therapy.

“Teaching a child two languages should not cause speech disorders, but some children may develop a problem with stuttering, due to the pressure of learning two languages.”

We spoke German at home, English at school and we had a language roster next to our beds assigning different languages to different days of the week.

South Africans Paul and Julie Bellingan moved to Spain seven years ago. They have raised their four daughters Mikaelah (7), Abigael (5), Olivia (4) and Isabella (20 months) to be bilingual more out of necessity than choice. “We can only speak very basic Spanish so at home we speak English, but Mikaelah started at a Spanish school at five years old. Abigael followed at four and Olivia at three and a half. They have jumped right in and I’m amazed at what they are capable of. I do feel Mikaelah struggles the most because she started later than the others. I think their biggest struggle in developing the language is that we don’t speak it at home but they do have Spanish friends who play with them outside of school, and they speak Spanish to them. Our challenge is with homework as Jules and I often find ourselves having to learn Spanish as we go in order to help them,” says Paul.

Becoming literate in two languages that share the same alphabet, such as French and Spanish, is more straightforward than two that don’t. “I often find that children who speak mostly Xhosa at home struggle magazine durban

when they get to an English-medium school and have to discriminate between these sounds when spelling,” says More.

“Indigenous languages in South Africa have fewer vowel sounds than English, so smaller differences such as jam, germ and gem, will be pronounced as gem, gem and gem.” Even so, many South African children are being raised in bilingual homes with an indigenous South African language.

Twenty-three-year-old Mbali Ndlovu, was raised in a German household by her Zulu mother. “My mother nannied for a family of six children and spoke English to all of us so I had learnt to speak English and German by the age of two,” says Mbali. “As a toddler my family realised I couldn’t understand or speak a word of Zulu, which was supposed to be my native language. My mom corrected this by speaking only Zulu to me while I continued learning English through the community.

Eventually my German fell away and my Zulu caught up with my English, but I really struggled in high school when I had to learn Zulu grammar and spelling. I would say English is my dominant language but I am proficient in both. I still triple check my Zulu spelling when translating.”

According to Christina Bosemark, founder of the US-based Multilingual Children’s Association, the process of raising bilinguals is a flexible and highly personal one, and can be adapted to suit your family, lifestyle and support systems.

She believes as long as it provides enough interaction in the second language and is maintained with consistency it will produce successful results.

bilingual support on the web multilingualchildren.org multilingualliving.com

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how to

handmade with love year’s class teacher? TAMLYN VINCENT rounds up a number of practical ideas for you and your child to tackle together.

s

aying thank you to your child’s teacher doesn’t have to cost a fortune. You can show your appreciation by helping your little one create something simple and practical. It’ll show a little effort and time was spent in its making – and give you an excuse to do something fun and creative with your child.

Here are a number of ideas to get you started, and perhaps inspired enough to tackle handmade Christmas or birthday gifts for the family too…

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class acts If you like coordinating, and find children and parents are keen to participate, then you could try something with the whole class.

Create a finger-painted plant pot. Get all the children in the class to add a fingerprint (in paint) to a flower pot and turn these into butterflies and bugs. You can also paint the names of the children onto the pot or write a message around the rim. Then plant with flowers or herbs.

Make a classroom recipe book. Invite the children to write their favourite recipe on decorative card, perhaps with a short thank-you message. Collect these and make them into a book or place them in a basket.

Create a quilt or picnic blanket. Get children to decorate a square of material (with paint or appliquè or whatever takes their fancy). Then sew them together (or find somebody who can do this for you), place a material border around them, add some backing and you have a wonderful quilt. You could back with waterproof fabric if you’re making a picnic blanket.

A lovely idea is to cut out the children’s handprints and turn these into tree leaves on a quilt.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: TAMLYN VINCENT, THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

Wondering what gift to give this

green fingers S pruce up a watering can with paint, or get younger children to decorate one with stickers. Then attach some gardening gloves and packets of flower seeds.

Create a mini herb or flower garden. Decorate or paint a flower pot and plant with herb or flower seedlings.

Design pot plant stakes. These are a nice addition to the mini garden above. Children can add a personal touch by adding their picture or a special message. Buy some plain stakes or use wooden sticks. Children can write out a message on some cardboard using a glitter pen. If you’re stuck for ideas you could try: “Thank you for helping me blossom.” Use glue or strong tape to attach the message to the stake, then plant this in the pot.

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for food-lovers and foodies Give ready-to-bake biscuits in a jar. You’ll need a glass jar – such as a Consol jar, or a large coffee bottle. Clean and dry it properly.

Children can then layer these ingredients in the jar in this order (pack down after every additional layer):

2 cups flour

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

¾ cup brown sugar

¾ cup white sugar Fill the jar with your choice of Smarties, Astros or chopped up chocolate – try Crunchie or Top Deck. Close the lid, cover this with a square of fabric and secure in place with an elastic band. Cut out the instructions alongside or let your child write them out on decorative paper.

Attach a piece of ribbon and tie the instructions around the neck of the jar.

Bake some cookies, place them in a jar or tin when they are cool, then get your child to write out the recipe on some pretty paper and attach it.

Try making flavoured salts. Take some coarse salt and add dried rosemary or some chilli flakes. Use your imagination and raid your veggie and herb garden. Place in a decorated tin or container.

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how to

picture perfect Make a caterpillar picture frame. Cut out rings from kitchen-roll or other cardboard tubes of assorted sizes.

Get your children to glue pictures on top or on the bottom of these rings using wood glue. You can make several different pictures and then stick these together to make shapes. Try making a flower or caterpillar.

Create a frame for a special memory. Source pre-cut masonite frames (ask at your local craft shop) or try cutting out frames from stiff corrugated cardboard. Stick scrapbooking paper onto the frame and cut to match the frame. Add decorations, charms, words, ribbon or anything you want. This is a gift on its own, or you can include a picture or poem.

Make a personalised plate or platter. You’ll need a clear glass plate. Children can decorate the underside with stickers, glitter, a poem or pictures – attach facing upwards so that they can be read through from the top. Paint over the bottom of the plate with acrylic or PVC paint. Your children can choose whichever colours they want and mix these in any way. Things might get messy but just cover the floor with newspaper and let your little artist be creative. Make sure that the whole underside of the plate is covered with paint and leave to dry.

bath time Make different-shaped soaps. Chop bars of glycerine soap into small pieces and melt in a polystyrene cup in the microwave. Place on high for 30 seconds at a time until melted. Be careful – this gets hot. Pour into cookie-cutter shapes placed on wax paper. Try filling the shape halfway, leave to dry and add a charm. Then fill the rest of the way. When the soaps are dry, remove and package in a decorated box.

Create personalised bath salts. Add perfume or essential oils to Epsom salts.

Add food colouring, but only a few drops at a time. Mix well and place into a bottle decorated with ribbon.

Design non-slip slipper socks. You’ll need a pair of comfy socks and some puff paint (ask at your local craft shop). Decorate the bottom of the socks with patterns, shapes or even a message. Leave to dry. Then heat until puffed.

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craft online For more creative ideas and fun crafts have a look at these websites: childmag.co.za (launching soon) about.com (look at familycrafts.about.com, baking.about.com, americanfood.about.com) activityvillage.co.uk betterbudgeting.com (look for frugal crafts and homemade gifts) crafts.kaboose.com creativekidsathome.com familyfun.go.com marthastewart.com

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resource

summer camps Camps that’ll keep your teen or preteen entertained this school holiday. By TAMLYN VINCENT Huntersfield Holiday Camp

For more info: 033 342 1928, 084 746 9741 or visit ecabazini.co.za

overnight camps Ecabazini This Zulu homestead near Albert Falls Dam (1,5 hours from Durban) offers a complete experience from beadwork to pottery, Zulu dancing and a traditional Zulu dinner.

Campers stay in beehive huts or thatched rondavels. It has experienced staff, and the camp is well supervised. The camp runs on demand and offers a one- or two-night stay in December.

Your teenager will love: the authentic Zulu experience and traditional cultural atmosphere, including the food

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Huntersfield Holiday Camp

Ecabazini

Situated in Hammarsdale, near 1000 Hills, this camp offers a unique equestrian experience. Activities include hiking, campfires, scavenger hunts, Survivor days and much more. The camp is well supervised by experienced counsellors, and there are staff trained in first aid. The camp caters for children aged 7–14 years.

Huntersfield camp runs weekly during the holidays from Sunday afternoon to Saturday morning.

Your teenager will love: horse-riding or the wilderness games For more info: 083 778 3672 or visit huntersfield.co.za

Sierra Ranch Adventure Camp This venue near Mooi River (1,5 hours from Durban) offers a well-organised, secure holiday with trained facilitators and counsellors. Activities include sport, swimming in the river, a rock climbing wall, mini-golf and much more. The camp usually runs for three or more days, but is available on demand with dates to suit parents.

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Sugar Bay

Spirit of Adventure

Your teenager will love: the obstacle course or tubing down the river For more info: 084 207 3907 or gibson@ aers.co.za

With the emphasis on fun, these camps offer beach, land and adventure activities during the day, as well as evening programmes, in a secure area near Zinkwazi (one hour from Durban). Dynamic, trained staff ensure that children are kept busy for the week. Children aged 7–17 years are welcome and can be dropped off at the camp, or can take the airport shuttle. There are different themed weeks throughout December and January.

Your teenager will love: choosing from the 90 activities on offer; from breakdancing to beach volleyball to night treasure hunts For more info: 032 485 3778 or visit sugarbay.co.za

day camps Boot Camp SA Physical activity, problem solving and teamwork are the key areas of focus at this three-day camp in Giba Valley.

Activities are geared towards motivation, communication and trust, all while having a lot of fun. The Sarges are all experienced and are trained in safety awareness, while lead Sarges have first-aid certificates. For ages 5–12 years. 13–15 December, from 8am–4:30pm Your teenager will love: the obstacle courses, target shooting and orienteering For more info: 031 701 7282, 082 782 6432 or visit bootcamp-sa.co.za

and secure, ensuring the safety of the children. Teen camp is open to ages 11–14 years and trained staff ensure that children reach their potential. 13–17 December, from 8am–3:30pm Your teenager will love: the themed days and the great variety of activities For more info: 031 100 1011 or visit kingscamps.org

Vulindlela Bush Camp Spirit of Adventure Abseiling and kayaking are on offer at this camp on a game reserve at the Shongweni Dam. There are rhinos, giraffe and buffalo to see, while participating in the adventure activities. Instructors are experienced and trained in first aid and safety. Children from Grades 1 to 12 are grouped according to age and can choose to stay for the day (8am–4:30pm) or overnight for 1–4 nights.

13–15 December or 20–23 December Your teenager will love: rock climbing or rafting on the dam For more info: 031 769 1981 or info@ spiritofadventure.co.za

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Children can try tree-abseiling, navigation, frisbee golf or hiking, and participate in the sports, art and crafts, and campfire activities. This camp near Dundee (three hours from Durban) has been running for 17 years and strives to create a sense of community and respect. The Summer Junior Teen camp is for ages 8–16 years.

Transport to the camp can be arranged if there is a demand. 5–11 December Your teenager will love: the challenge presented by the different activities and the chance to develop new skills For more info: 034 218 2771 or visit thebushcamp.co.za

Boot Camp SA

King’s Camps This week-long camp at Highbury Prep in Hillcrest specialises in sporting activities, including indoor and outdoor sports as well as swimming. The camp is organised

King’s Camps

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resource

toddler-friendly restaurants

Eating out with your toddler doesn’t have to be a survival challenge. TAMLYN VINCENT rounds up

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

some places that are geared for families like yours.

Apache River Spur

Bon Vie

Duck and Deck

Parents can sit next to the newly renovated, secure play area, and watch their children have fun making use of the trampolines, jungle gym, play stations and movie theatre in the fully supervised play zone. Toddlers and adults can choose from a range of burgers, steaks, chicken or vegetarian dishes.

Top toddler feature: the Toddler Corner, specially designed for younger children Address: 12 Radar Ave, Durban North For more info: 031 564 3368 or visit spur.co.za

Parents can relax and enjoy a coffee or have something to eat while toddlers play on the jungle gym. Nesta, the childminder, will watch the children while you eat.

You can also take in the furniture or clothes shops or visit the spa. Open daily: Monday–Friday 7:30am–4pm, Saturday– Sunday 9am–3pm Top toddler feature: the great outdoor play area, with adjacent tables Address: 16 Bute Rd, off Windermere Rd For more info: Justine 082 378 0279 or bonvie@sia.co.za

Perfect for toddlers it has a jumping castle, jungle gym, trampoline and a big grass area. It offers animal petting and exotic ducks and other birds are in the aviary.

Children five years and older can enjoy candle-dipping. A tea garden serves light meals and snacks, and meals for toddlers.

Open: Tuesday–Sunday, 9:30am–4:30pm Top toddler feature: a ride on a Shetland pony, or on the donkey cart Address: 3 Willow Way, Assagay For more info: 031 768 1029 or visit duckanddeck.co.za

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Bon Vie

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and public holidays (excluding religious holidays) from noon Top toddler feature: bug jars for toddlers so that they can spend the day collecting little creatures Address: on D146, off the R103 to Rosetta For more info: 082 895 1042 or visit horizonsgourmet.co.za

Gusto! Café Their menu offers all sorts of homemade treats, as well as homemade juice and burgers for toddlers. It is fully licensed so relax with a glass of wine while the children play in the Kids’ Corner or watch a DVD on the beanbags. Open daily: 7:30am–4pm

Duck and Deck

Piggly Wiggly

Top toddler feature: the play area with its blackboards and puzzles Address: 4 Lagoon Dr, located in the Umhlanga Plaza For more info: 031 561 4862 or saskia@ gustoafrica.com

Gourmet Picnics

John Dory’s Ballito

This rustic destination in Nottingham Road is something different. Children can play on the trampoline and swings or bring their own balls and play on the large grass area. Picnic baskets are prepared by the venue and guests can sit on blankets next to low tables or at conventional tables.

Book two days in advance (R60 deposit per adult). Open: weekends, school

Children can spend time in the play area, or stay indoors where there is colouring-in and balloons. The children’s menu offers everything from chicken and fish to ribs and burgers. Adults can order from a range of seafood and other dishes. Open daily: 11am–10pm Top toddler feature: the jungle gym and rocking horses in the play area

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Gusto! Café

Address: located in the Lifestyle Centre, Ballito Dr, Ballito For more info: 032 946 3009 or visit johndorys.co.za

Olive & Oil This franchise offers children a playroom kitted out with beanbags and building blocks. The menu caters for a variety of tastes with the focus on grills and shellfish. Their signature prawn dishes are very popular. There is a special menu for children. Open: noon–3pm for lunch, evenings from 6pm Top toddler feature: the chalk walls in the playroom, where toddlers can draw to their heart’s content

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For more info: Ballito 032 586 0177, Glenwood 031 201 6146, Hillcrest 031 765 6214, Umhlanga 031 561 2618 or oliveandoil@mweb.co.za

Piggly Wiggly Sit on the veranda and enjoy coffee or a light meal while your children play on the open lawn, swings or jungle gyms. In the midlands, children can navigate the maze.

Make your own salad or try the quiche; the

French Piggly is perfect for toddlers. The Kloof branch is closed on Sundays.

Top toddler feature: the large, open grass areas decked out with jungle gyms For more info: Robyndale Centre in Kloof 031 764 2497, Midlands near Tweedie 033 234 4323 or visit pigglywiggly.co.za

Primi Piatti Children can make their own pizzas or biscuits in the Primi Pods. There are shape cutters on hand, and a range of toppings to choose from. The Primi Pods cater mostly for children three years and older. Adults can choose from a wide range of Italian-style dishes. Open daily: 9am–midnight Top toddler feature: making pizzas with any toppings children might want For more info: Ballito 032 946 3750, Hillcrest 031 765 6920, The Pavilion 031 265 0487, Westwood 031 266 9495 or visit primi-piatti.com

RJ’s

Primi Piatti

magazine durban

Toddlers can play in a secure area that includes tables for parents, who can relax while keeping an eye on little ones. The play zones differ but some have a trampoline, the Pinetown shop has a ferris wheel, and all offer video games. RJ’s is famous for

its ribs, which feature on the extensive children’s and adults’ menus. Open: Monday 8am–4pm, Tuesday–Friday 11am to late, Saturday 8am to late, Sunday 8am–4pm Top toddler feature: the giant jungle gyms with places to hide, climb and slide For more info: Amanzimtoti 031 903 8985,

Hillcrest 031 765 5555, Pietermaritzburg 033 342 1185, Pinetown 031 702 5059 or visit rjskzn.co.za

Sage Café and Deli This restaurant can be found in Hybrid Living, a centre designed with children

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in mind. They offer a secure play area with sand art, an educational jungle gym, children’s yoga and menu, plus breakfasts, bagels and light meals. Daily: 8am–4pm Top toddler feature: the Grubby Knees garden with its castle, climbing ring, Wendy house and slide Address: 1 Old Fort Rd, Foxhill, Umhlali For more info: 032 525 8059 or visit sagecafe.co.za

The Animal Farmyard This restaurant offers jungle gyms, rides and a foefie slide, but children can also get feed buckets for the animals. Entry to the Animal Touch Farm includes milking demonstrations and bottle feeding. They also offer pony rides. Try one of the farmstyle breakfasts or light meals on offer. A children’s menu is also available.

Open daily: 9am–4:30pm

Top toddler feature: children will love bottle-feeding the newborn animals, when possible, or milking a cow Address: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill For more info: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za

The Waterberry Tea Garden Fresh coffee and friendly staff make this venue a must if you are in the Ballito area.

Children can play in the garden or on the jungle gym. The menu offers tea goodies and light meals; try the panini stuffed with ham and cheese. The children’s menu is a treat with cheese grillers and smiley potato chips on offer. Open daily: 8am–4:30pm Top toddler feature: the sand art for creative minds Address: bottom of Leonora Dr, Ballito For more info: 032 946 2797 or pberkeley@ mweb.co.za

Yellowwood Café

Yellowwood Café

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If you are near the Midlands, then you have to visit Yellowwood. There are all sorts of animals including bunnies, bantams and guinea pigs. Children can play on the jungle gyms or bring along their bikes to ride around the track. Tables are on a wide

The Waterberry Tea Garden

lawn and in clear sight of the play area and animal pens. Try the homemade burger if you’re hungry, and the macaroni cheese is a definite favourite for the children. Open: Tuesday–Friday 9am–10pm, Saturday 8:30am–10pm, Sunday 8:30am–4:30pm Top toddler feature: the assortment of miniature animals, from cows and donkeys to goats and horses, all in their pens for children to see and pat Address: 1 Shafton Rd, off the Karkloof Rd, near Howick For more info: 033 330 2461 or visit yellowwood.co.za

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books

a good read for toddlers

toddler treasure

Poddy and Flora

By Paula Metcalf (Macmillan Children’s Books, R90) Some things go very well together: like jelly and ice cream, buckets and spades… and Flora and her beloved dog Poddy.

The two of them do everything together.

But when Flora goes to visit Grandma, Poddy has to stay at home and suddenly nothing is much fun for Poddy. But it isn’t only Flora he’s missing – his tail seems to have disappeared too! The awardwinning children’s author and illustrator Paula Metcalf stunningly illustrates this endearing and amusing tale about a little girl and her much-loved dog. Metcalf also created Norma Snows and We Love Bunk Beds!

magazine durban

for preteens and teens

for us

Sing a Song of Bottoms!

By Jeanne Willis and Adam Stower

Speeches That Changed The World

(Penguin, R93) Bottoms are top in this laugh-out-loud read-along story from award-winning writer Jeanne Willis. Join her in the funniest talent show ever. In a fabulous rhyming text, meet bears with baggy bottoms, pigs with perky pinky ones, rhinos with wrinkly ones and peacocks that love to put theirs on display.

Perfect for reading aloud and guaranteed to cause fits of giggles, one thing’s for sure – whoever is the winner, you and your child will enjoy this book.

(Quercus, R141) Speeches That Changed The World has already sold over 750 000 copies. This revised edition includes many additional speeches such as Nikita Krushchev’s secret 1956 denunciation of Stalinist Russia and Kevin Rudd’s historic apology to Australia’s mistreated Aboriginal people. Moving and thought-provoking, this new edition will continue to inspire and enlighten readers, offering them a fascinating perspective on historical milestones through the power of the spoken word.

Have you Started yet?

By Ruth and Chloë Thomson (Macmillan Children’s Books, R90) Starting her period is part of a girl growing up, but the subject is often clouded by rumours and embarrassment. This book explains exactly what periods are, why they happen and how they will affect your daughter. It asks the questions and gives the answers simply and openly, with plenty of practical advice. The authors sent out hundreds of questionnaires and went to lots of schools to interview many women, girls and boys to find out what their experiences have been like and to find out what they wanted to know.

pick of the month

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what’s on in november Things to do, places to go, ways to give back, talks and exhibitions plus loads of fun for the whole family. compiled by Tamlyn vincent

28 sun

special events

34

FUN for children

36

only for parents

39

bump, baby & tot in tow

40

how to help

40

SPECIAL EVENTS

help underprivileged children by collecting toys for them.

32

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

Moses Mabhida Stadium offers

Peter Pan Adult Panto Get away

Pregnancy Yoga teaches beneficial

fun activities including the Big Swing,

from Alwaysland and visit Neverland

postures as well as relaxation and

Meat-free Mondays Give up meat

SkyCar or a tour.

with the adult panto team.

breathing techniques for pregnancy.

for a day and help save the planet.

November 2010

how to help

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PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM, South Coast Surf FESTivaL: Paul Godwin

National Motorcycle Toy Run aims to

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calendar

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 monday artSPACE features We Loved Being at Home.

Ends 13 November. Time: opening night 6:30pm, Monday–Friday 10am–4pm, Saturday/holidays 10am–1pm. Venue: artSPACE, 3 Millar Rd, Durban. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 0793 Fabulous Kids launches at Fabulous Flavours. Enjoy a meal while you watch your toddler play in the safe, indoor play area. Feeding and changing rooms available. Time: Monday–Friday 7:30am– 4pm, Saturday–Sunday 8am–2pm. Venue: The Well, Albertina Way, Ballito. Cost: free entry. Contact: 032 946 1527 or visit fabulousflavours.co.za

2 tuesday 58th Annual Charity Christmas fair for all your Christmas shopping, from toys

5 November – Highbury Christmas Fair

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to décor plus novelties and crafts. Visit the tea garden for refreshments. Proceeds go to charity. Also 3 November. Time: Tuesday 9am–7pm, Wednesday 9am–3pm.

Venue: Collisheen Estate, Ballito. Cost: R30.

Contact: 083 268 3884

3 wednesday O Tea Party Join O The Oprah Magazine and 1st for Women insurance brokers at an afternoon tea, offering snacks, music and more. Time: 2:30pm. Venue: Fairmont Zimbali Resort, Ballito. Cost: R295. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000

4 thursday Flower Power at its best – a feast for the eyes An exhibition of floral designs and demonstrations. Friday is the preview cocktail evening. Part of the proceeds go to the Deafblind Society. Also 5 November.

Time: Thursday 6pm, Friday 9:30am– 12:30pm and 1:30pm–4:30pm. Venue:

Durban Botanic Gardens Visitors Centre, Berea. Cost: R70. Contact Shirley Gillitt: 031 765 8952

5 friday Highbury Christmas fair Find your Christmas gifts before the rush. Also 6 November. Time: Friday 10am–5pm, Saturday 9am–2pm. Venue: Highbury Preparatory School, Hillcrest. Cost: R10 entry. Contact: 031 765 9800 or visit hps.co.za

5 fri

6 saturday Kloof and Highway SPCA Village Green open days For charity, with live music, a jumping castle, plenty of food and bargains.

Also 27 November. Time: 8:30am–noon.

Venue: 29 Village Rd, Kloof. Cost: free entry.

Contact Barbara: 031 764 1212/3 Lady in Red Fashion show, conference for women and mini flea market, with funds going to the Hope Aids Clinic. Time: 9am. Venue: DCC Jesus Dome, 39 Garth Rd, Mayville. Cost: R10 entry. Contact: 031 242 5000 or visit dcc.org.za Loved Baby Goods market for baby goods that are new or nearly new. Register items for sale at lovedmarket@vodamail. co.za. Also 27 November in Durban North.

Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Pinetown. Cost: free entry. Contact Taome: 083 955 0715 or lovedmarket@vodamail.co.za SAMBA Expectant Parent seminar Parents expecting multiples are invited to a talk on issues such as breastfeeding, the

Bend It Like Beauty Ben Voss is Beauty Ramapelepele, a socialite and self–made woman who will keep the audience enthralled with her wit and humour. Also 6–7 and 12–14 November. Time: Friday–Saturday 8pm, Sunday 7pm. Venue: Stirling Theatre, Durban North. Cost: R80.

Contact: 076 786 1127 or email bookings@stirlingtheatre.co.za

dad’s role, equipment and more. Time: 12:30pm–5pm. Venue: St Augustine’s Hospital, Glenwood. Cost: non members couple R150, single R120, members couple R120, single R110. Contact: 082 338 2625, kzn@samultiplebirth.co.za or visit samultiplebirth.co.za

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South Coast Surf festival Longboard, kiteboard and stand-up paddleboard contest with South Africa’s top competitors. Also 7 November. Time: 7am–4:30pm. Venue: Scottburgh Beach. Cost: competition entry R200, spectators free. Contact Paul: 083 560 1185 or mw.nerve@mweb.co.za We Friends market day A food and craft market for all ages. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: Glenridge Church, 65 Masabalala Yengwa Ave. Cost: free entry. Contact Tracie: 031 304 8841 or tracie@glenridge.org.za

7 sunday Old Mutual Music at the Lake featuring the Goldfish album launch Enjoy a picnic by the lake, while your children explore the gardens. Time: 12:30pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens. Cost: early birds R80, on concert day R100. Contact: 031 309 1170 or visit durbanbotanicgardens.org.za

Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest.

Cost: Wednesday–Saturday R190, Tuesday and Sunday R165. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za

10 wednesday Feed the babies fundraiser Join this charity as they host Absolute ‘80s, a musical journey through the decade. Time: 7pm. Venue: Barnyard Theatre, Gateway.

Cost: R125. Contact: 031 201 4682 or fundraising@feedthebabiesfund.org.za Psychic Medium John Edward John crosses over to deliver messages from the other side. Q&A session included. Time: 8pm.

Venue: Izulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino. Cost:

magazine durban

12 friday 4th Annual Christmas market for Christmas shopping. Tea garden available.

Also 13 November. Time: Friday 9am– noon, Saturday 9am–3pm. Venue: 4 Moreland Dr, La Lucia. Cost: free entry.

Contact Janine: 083 286 5656 B.O.F Networx ladies high tea with guest speaker Donna McCallum, as well as prizes and goodie bags. Time: noon. Venue: Vera Vita Restaurant, Ballito. Cost: members R190, non-members R250. Contact Wendy: 073 334 9711 or Sherene 074 113 3243

14 sunday Wake Up Smiling meditation course for moms and dads. Transform the hassle of daily life into opportunities for personal development. Time: 9am–12:30pm.

Venue: 5A King George Ave, Kloof.

Cost: R100. Contact: 082 895 8171 or meditateinhillcrest@gmail.com

17 wednesday Clifton art meander exhibiting the work of Clifton students from Grades R–11.

Coffee bar available. Also 18 November.

Time: 8am–3pm. Venue: Sutcliffe Theatre, Clifton School, Morningside. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 2147 or wmeyer@ cliftonschool.co.za

19 friday Barry Hilton and Jason Hartman live Comedian Barry Hilton brings his unique humour to the stage and Jason Hartman entertains with a music performance.

Time: 6:45pm. Venue: Winston Churchill Theatre, Pietermaritzburg. Cost: R220.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

9 tuesday Peter Pan Adult Panto Get away from Alwaysland and visit Neverland with the adult panto team who take this well-loved fairytale and give it a fresh twist. For adults only. Ends 31 December. Time: 8pm, Sunday 2pm. Venue: Musgrave Supper Theatre.

Cost: R90. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Who’s Your Daddy A festive season re-run of the Gee Gays, a musical tribute to the ‘60s and ‘70s. Ends 31 December. Time: Tuesday–Saturday 7pm, Sunday 12:30pm.

R746–R852. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

20 saturday

6 November – South Coast Surf festival

Christmas craft market with activities for children, Christmas crafts, decorations, food and more. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Penzance Primary School, Bartle Rd, Glenwood.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 565 3937 or stolavchristmasmarket@yahoo.com

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25 thursday Everyone Counts art exhibition featuring over 500 works from local and international artists. Works have been donated and will be sold for R1 000 each to raise funds to support the plight of abandoned babies in South Africa. Ends 17 December. Time: opening night (by RSVP) 6pm, Sunday–Wednesday 9:30am–4:30pm, Thursday–Saturday 9:30am–7:30pm. Venue: The Quays, Point Waterfront, Durban. Cost: free entry, donations welcome. Contact: angela@everyonecounts.co.za or visit everyonecounts.co.za Kalahari Kidz Clothing Christmas open day for gifts, clothing, toys, books and more. Also 26 November. Time: 9am– 5pm. Venue: Marula Coffee Shop, 112 Maryvale Rd, Westville. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 082 397 1500, dawnblak@mweb. co.za or visit kalaharikidz.co.za

26 friday Jai Ho – The Journey Home World Tour This is a celebration of contemporary Indian music by the award-winning score writer of Slumdog Millionaire, AR Rahman. Time: 8pm.

Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium. Cost: R240–R690. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Cinderella No children under 4 years.

Ends 5 December. Time: varies. Venue: Playhouse Drama Theatre, Durban. Cost: R90–R120. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 Catch the first part of this final instalment in the series. Now showing in cinemas nationwide.

27 saturday John Wesley School fun day with train rides, stalls, a jumping castle, a water slide and more. Time: 9am. Venue: 30 Bamboo Lane, off St John’s Ave, Pinetown. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 701 5603

27 November – John Wesley School fun day

28 sunday Mind Body Soul fair features natural and therapeutic products, healers, readings, food and more. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Westville Civic Centre, Buckingham Terrace, Westville. Cost: free entry. Contact: 072 428 3431 or info@mindbodysoul.org.za Muddy Buddy Series Calling all twoperson teams for the second leg of this friendly, family, off-road African adventure.

Time: 8:30am. Venue: Giba Gorge. Cost: varies. Contact B-Active Sports: 031 764 1885 or visit muddybuddy.co.za National Motorcycle Toy Run Now in its 28th year, this event aims to help underprivileged, terminally ill or orphaned children by collecting toys for homes and charities. Whether you join the ride, or meet at the final gathering point, make sure to bring toys. Time: 9:30am. Start venue: The Pavillion Shopping Mall, Westville.

End Venue: Amanzimtoti Sports Grounds.

Cost: free entry. Contact Jo: 083 285 0815 or Les: 083 487 6846 or madhatter@ highwaydragonsmc.co.za Plants of the Bible Sunday tour and tea, with a guided walk, where plants that feature in the Bible are explained. Time: 9:30am. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens.

Cost: R60. Contact: 031 309 1170 or visit durbanbotanicgardens.org.za The Inchanga Choo Choo travels through the scenic Valley of 1000 Hills with a stopover at Inchanga Station, where there are craft and food stalls. Time: departs 8:30am or 12:30 am. Venue: Stoker’s Arms, Kloof Station. Cost: adults R150, children R120. Contact: 087 808 7715, 082 353 6003 or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za

29 monday Hairlip For one night only, this revival of the ‘80s features all your favourite tunes.

Time: 8pm. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R120. Contact: 031 566 3045 or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

25 thurs

Good Food and Wine Show With an amazing line up of celebrity chefs, cooking shows, and food, drink and kitchenware exhibits, this is an event not to be missed.

Ends 28 November. Time: 10am.

Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre.

Cost: R60, on the day R70. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

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FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science African Art Centre is exhibiting unique African Christmas décor and gifts. Time: Monday–Friday 8:30am–5pm, Saturday 9am–3pm. Venue: African Art Centre, Florida Rd, Durban. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 3804/5 or visit afriart.org.za artSPACE features We Loved Being at Home

by Caryn Shirley. 1–13 November. Time: opening night 6:30pm, Monday–Friday 10am–4pm, Saturday/holidays 10am–1pm.

Venue: artSPACE, 3 Millar Rd, Durban.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 0793 or visit artspace–durban.com magazine durban

Old Mutual MTN Sciencentre looks at science in a fun and interesting way. Time: Monday–Thursday 9am–7pm, Friday– Saturday 9am–9pm, Sunday 9am–6pm.

Venue: Upper level, Gateway. Cost: adults R24, children R29. Contact: 031 566 8040 or visit gatewaysciencecentre.co.za Phezulu Village Experience Zulu culture and visit the crocodile and snake park. Open daily from 8am–4:30pm. Zulu dancing at 10am, 11:30am, 2pm and 3:30pm. Venue: Old Main Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: R90, optional game drive every hour R120. For more info: visit phezulusafaripark.co.za Port Natal Maritime Museum captures the maritime and shipping history of Durban and KwaZulu-Natal. Time: Monday–Saturday 8:30am–4pm, Sunday and public holidays 11am–4:30pm. Venue: Aliwal St, Durban. Cost: free. Contact: 031 300 6313

classes, talks and workshops Baking fun at Tots n Pots Baking classes for children. Every week day. Time: tbc.

Venue: Tots n Pots Umhlanga, La Lucia.

Cost: R90. Contact: Karen: 073 631 2299 or karen@totsnpots.com Holistic Healing for Kids focuses on mindnastics, building self-esteem and goal setting for children 6–13 years. Every Saturday. Time: 2pm–5pm. Venue: North Beach, Durban. Cost: R200. Contact Rookaya: 031 332 9724 or rookayavawda@ mweb.co.za Just Imagine Mosaics Mosaic art classes for all ages. Time: Tuesday 8:30am–11:30am, Wednesday 6pm–9pm, Saturday or groups by arrangement. Venue: 50 Haygarth Rd, Kloof. Cost: R75. Contact: 031 764 6454 or visit kznmosaics.co.za New Daisy Arts Studio Drawing skills, painting and sculpture lessons for anyone 6 years and older. Time: Saturday 9am– 11am, Wednesday 10am–noon, evenings 5:30pm–7:30pm. Venue: 65 Ethelbert Rd, Malvern. Cost: 6–8 years R225, 9 years and older R250. Contact: 073 540 9210 or daniella.hartman@gmail.com Nippers Learn beach and swimming safety while having fun. For children 8–13 years. Time: every Sunday 10am–12:30pm.

Venue: Warnadoone Club House, Doonside.

Cost: R200 a year. Contact Melanie: 074 149 9084 or mel@homemail.co.za Roxy Learn to Surf Group or individual lessons for ages 7 and older. All gear provided. Every Tuesday. Time: noon–5pm.

Venue: Suncoast beach. Cost: R150 per hour. Contact Alan: 076 877 5143

Yoga for children develops core strength and flexibility while improving concentration. Every Tuesday. Time: 2:30pm. Venue: Centre for Well Being, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R40. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play 1000 Hills Bird Park Home to rare and exotic birds, a sweet shop and play area.

Time: Tuesday–Sunday 8am–4pm. Venue: 1 Clement Stott Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: adults R25, children R15. Contact: 072 927 8242 or visit 1000hillsbirdpark.co.za Crocodile Creek See baby crocs hatching.

Taste crocodile specialties at The Water Hole. Open daily. Time: 9am–5pm; guided tours at 10am, 11:30am, 12:30pm, 2pm and 3pm; feedings at 11am and 3pm.

Venue: Tongaat. Cost: adults R50, 11–18 years R30, 4–10 years R20. Contact: 032 944 3845 or visit crocodilecreek.net CROW Gain insight into the rehabilitation of wildlife. Open last Sunday of each month.

Time: gates open 10:30am, tour starts 11am.

Venue: 2 Coedmore Ave, Yellowwood Park.

Cost: R20. Contact: 031 462 1127 Dangerous Creatures Face some of the world’s fastest and most poisonous reptiles.

Time: 10am–5pm daily. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R25. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za Duck and Deck animal farm A chance for children to touch, feel and interact with animals. Closed Monday. Time: 9:30am– 4pm. Venue: 3 Willow Way, Assagay. Cost: R15. Contact: 031 768 1029 Flag Animal Farm with all types of farm animals, pony and horse rides, a tea garden and more. Time: 9am–4pm.

Venue: Umhlali. Cost: R25. Contact: 032 947 2018, fosgreen@mweb.co.za or visit flaganimalfarm.co.za The Animal Farmyard offers daily milking demonstrations, the chance to bottle-feed newborn animals plus pony rides and a foefie slide. Time: open daily 9am–4:30pm, milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: entry R10, rides R4. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za Treasure Beach Explore the shoreline with a guide while learning about ecosystems. Open to parties or groups.

Time: varies. Venue: 835 Marine Dr, Bluff.

Cost: adults R35, children R20. Contact Verlin: 031 467 8507 or tbeachadmin@ wessakzn.org.za

Tots ‘n Pots

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Treasure Beach

family outings

Hybrid Living Parents can browse in the shops or have a meal while children play in the Grubby Knees garden. Time: 8am–4pm. Venue: 1 Old Fort Rd, Umhlali (exit 214 from highway). Contact: 032 525 5115 or visit hybridcentre.co.za Moses Mabhida Stadium offers fun activities including the Big Swing, SkyCar or a tour. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Masabalala Yengwa Ave, Stamford Hill. Cost: SkyCar adults R50, children 6–12 years R25, Big Swing R595, professional tour R75, general tour adults R20, children 6–12 years R15. Contact: 031 582 8242 or visit mosesmabhidastadium.co.za Rayz Kids World Spend the day visiting Crabby Beach, Black Skulls Treasure Cave and Rayz Gold Diggers. For children 2–10 years. Tiny tots and parents also catered for.

Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R35. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za Riverside Café Kool Kidz Club is a membership for children, with discounts and special offers. The main attraction is the Riverside Family Fun day and Pool Party on the last Sunday of every month.

Time: varies. Venue: Riverside Café, Durban North. Cost: tbc. Contact: 031 563 0600 Splash Waterworld Water slides, mini golf and more. Braai facilities available.

Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: 97 Beach Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: adult R60, children R40, party of four R200. Contact: 031 904 2273

Shongweni Farmers’ and Craft Market

Essenwood Market Fresh food, children’s activities and a range of stalls.

Gourmet food, organic and local produce and crafts. Every Saturday. Time: 6:30am– 10am. Venue: cnr Kassier and Alverstone Rds, Assagay. Contact Christine: 083 777 1674 or hazyview@netactive.co.za Stables Lifestyles Market offers clothing, antiques, toys, jewellery, food and more.

Time: Wednesday and Friday 6pm–10pm, Sunday 10am–5pm. Venue: Jacko Jackson Dr, off Smiso Nkwanyana Rd. For more info: visit stablesmarket.co.za The food market for locally produced coffee, cheese, pâté, breads, a children’s corner, mini flower market and tea garden.

27 November. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: The Hellenic Community Centre, Durban North. Contact: 083 777 5633 or visit thefoodmarket.co.za The Litchi Orchard Farmers’ Market Covered market featuring live music and a children’s playground. First and third Saturday every month. Time: 9am–1pm.

Venue: Seaforth Ave, Foxhill. Contact: 084 205 6151 or jeremy@litchiorchard.co.za The Riverside Market offers high quality crafts and goods. Proceeds go to local charities. First Sunday of every month.

Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: Scottburgh River Mouth. Contact: 039 975 3893

Every Saturday. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Essenwood Rd. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com Farmer’s Market Non-refrigerated fresh produce. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: Jimmy Bellows Sport Field, Westville (Thursday), Autumn Drive, Umhlanga (Wednesday), Amanzimtoti Sports Club (Tuesday).

Contact Rob: 082 413 1887 Golden Hours Family Market Fundraising initiative of Golden Hours Special School.

Every Sunday. Time: 10am–3:30pm. Venue: Uitsig Rd, Durban North. Cost: free entry.

Contact Lyn: 083 262 3693 Hirsch’s Morning Market Crafts, fresh produce and homemade food goods. Every Wednesday. Time: 8am–noon. Venue: Hirsch’s Homestore, Millennium Bridge Business Park. Contact: 031 570 4000 i heart market Locally produced crafts, food and fresh veggies. 6 November.

Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: DLI Hall, 5 DLI Ave, Greyville. Contact: 079 496 4788 or thejoyteam@gmail.com Karkloof Farmers’ Market Indoor market with a variety of stalls, music and children’s activities. Every Saturday. Time: 7am–11am. Venue: off the D507, along the Karkloof Rd. Contact: 082 820 8986 or visit karklooffarmersmarket.co.za

Splash Waterworld

on stage and screen Absolute ‘80s featuring ‘80s musical hits, from synth pop to rock. 19 October–9 January. Time: varies. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: Wednesday– Saturday R120, Tuesday night and matinée, R85. Contact: 031 566 3045 or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za Bend It Like Beauty Also 5–7 and 12–14 November. Time: Friday–Saturday 8pm, Sunday 7pm. Venue: Stirling Theatre, Durban North. Cost: R80. Contact: 076 786 1127 or bookings@stirlingtheatre.co.za Cinderella The classic tale of the girl who meets her Prince Charming. No children under 4 years. 26 November–5 December.

Time: varies. Venue: Playhouse Drama Theatre, Durban. Cost: R90–R120. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 Catch the first part of this final instalment in the series. Opens 26 November in cinemas nationwide.

family marketplace

@tap coffee corner Savour the coffee while your children enjoy the playground.

Time: Tuesday–Friday 9am–4pm, Saturday 8am–2pm. Venue: 20 MacKeurtan Ave, Durban North. Contact: 031 563 2678 or 031 563 0882 Bon Vie Shop for clothes and furniture, visit the spa, or have coffee while the children play in the sandpit or on the jungle gym. Open daily. Time: Monday–Friday 8am–4pm, Saturday–Sunday 9am–3pm.

Venue: 16 Bute Rd, Windermere. Cost: free entry. Contact: 076 735 4394, 082 378 0279 or bonvie@sia.co.za Books2You Fair 8–9 November. Time: 10am–3:30pm and 7:30am–2pm. Venue: Thomas More College. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 082 907 1577, info@books2you. co.za or visit books2you.co.za Fabulous Kids launches at Fabulous Flavours. Time: Monday–Friday 7:30am– 4pm, Saturday–Sunday 8am–2pm. Venue: The Well, Albertina Way, Ballito. Cost: free entry. Contact: 032 946 1527 or visit fabulousflavours.co.za Horseback beach adventures Ride along the beach, through the bush or take a moonlit evening ride. Time: varies.

Venue: Isipingo; directions sent on booking confirmation. Cost: varies. Contact: 084 467 0752, horsebackbeachadventures@gmail. com or visit horsebackbeachadventures. bravehost.com

markets

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Old Mutual Music at the Lake features the Goldfish album launch Enjoy a picnic by the lake, while your children explore the gardens. 7 November.

Time: 12:30pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens. Cost: early birds R80, on concert day R100. Contact: 031 309 1170, visit durbanbotanicgardens.org.za or book through ticketbreak.co.za Spud the Movie premieres at cinemas nationwide. Based on the novel by John van der Ruit. Join Spud Milton in this coming-of-age tale as he and the rest of the Crazy 8 figure out school, girls and life in general. Starring comedian John Cleese as The Guv and Troye Sivan as Spud.

playtime and story time Books and Books children’s story time Every Saturday. Time: 10am. Venue: Shop 42 Kensington Square, 53 Kensington Dr, Durban North. Cost: free. Contact: 031 563 6288 or booksandbooks@telkomsa.net Children’s story time A story followed by a craft or activity. For children aged 3–8 years. Every Saturday. Time: 10am.

Venue: 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti.

Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Clamber Club Jungle gym, hoops, balls, sand pit and more. Open every Friday. Time: noon–4:30pm. Venue: Hellenic Community Centre, High Grove Rd, Durban North. Cost: R20. Contact Michaela: 074 101 2616 Steam train rides Ride a miniature steam engine at the Durban Society of Model Engineers. Second and fourth Sunday

Spud – The movie

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every month. Playground and tea/coffee are available. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 per ride.

Contact: 083 284 6469

sport and physical activities Adventure Golf Three courses with nine holes each at the world’s largest indoor course. Time: Monday–Thursday 9am– 10pm, Friday–Sunday 9am–11pm. Venue: The Pavilion Shopping Centre, Westville.

Cost: adults R45, under 16 years R39, under 7 years R29. Contact: 031 265 1570, info@adventuregolf.co.za or visit adventuregolf.co.za Durban Ice Rink is open seven days a week, with five skate sessions daily. Don’t forget to take socks. Time: varies. Venue: 81 Somtseu Rd, Durban. Cost: R40 (includes skate hire). Contact: 031 332 4597 or visit durbanicerink.co.za Little Kickers Football training and the development of ball skills for children aged 18 months to 8 years. Classes vary depending on age group. Time: varies depending on age group. Venue: Indoor Sports Action Arena, Rinaldo Park, Durban North. Cost: varies. Contact: 0861 088 888 or admin@littlekickers.co.za The Wavehouse features a variety of adventure attractions for the whole family, from the flowrider, to the skate park, super tube and rock climbing wall. Time: 10am– 4pm. Venue: Gateway Theatre of Shopping, 1 Palm Ave, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: varies.

Contact: 031 584 9400, info@wavehouse. co.za or visit wavehouse.co.za

Find somewhere for your children to stretch their legs this November.

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Bargain Books launches Herschelle Gibbs’s autobiography To the Point, with a Q&A session and signing with Herschelle and author Steve Smith. 16 November, RSVP by 10 November. Time: noon–2pm. Venue: Bargain Books, Hillcrest Corner. Cost: free.

Contact: 031 765 2940, 086 591 3935 or hillcrest@bargainbooks.co.za Childcare First Aid workshop Comprehensive emergency procedures for all childcarers. Last Saturday of every month. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: New Era House, 6 Joseph Ave, Glen Anil. Cost: R500.

Contact Kate: 083 271 5127 or durban@ edubabe.co.za Edu-Maid childcare and child stimulation courses for domestics. Time: varies. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R350. Contact Eleanor: 031 572 4313 or 084 821 6668 Gecko Culinary School offers mini chef and gourmet courses, plus sushi classes and singles evenings. Time: varies. Venue: 596B Musgrave Rd, Durban. Cost: varies.

Contact Megan: 082 467 8088, 031 209 4555 or megan@geckoschool.co.za Meditation classes for moms every Friday morning. Time: 8:30am–9:30am.

Venue: Hillcrest Library, 22 Delamore Rd. Cost: R25. Contact: 031 765 2162 or visit meditateinhillcrest.org Meryl’s School of Cooking offers a variety of courses, including Christmas dishes and a course for domestic workers.

Time: varies. Venue: 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact Meryl: 031 764 6577, meryl@absamail.co.za or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za

Wake Up Smiling meditation course for moms and dads. Transform the hassle of daily life into opportunities for personal growth and development. 14 November.

Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: 5A King George Ave, Durban. Cost: R100. Contact: 082 895 8171 or meditateinhillcrest@ gmail.com Whisk It Cooking classes for Christmas ideas, non-traditional Christmas dishes, desserts and domestic courses. Time: varies.

Venue: confirmed on booking. Cost: varies.

Contact Mark: 031 562 9897, 076 721 8256 or whiskit@kideco.co.za Yoga on the beach Classes held every Thursday for adults and teens, from beginners to advanced. Every Thursday.

Time: 5pm–6pm. Venue: Suncoast Zone.

Cost: free. Contact: 031 201 8585

on stage and screen Barry Hilton and Jason Hartman Live Comedian Barry Hilton brings his unique humour to the stage and Jason Hartman entertains with a musical performance.

Time: 6:45pm. Venue: Winston Churchill Theatre, Pietermaritzburg. Cost: R220.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Hairlip Revival of the ‘80s features all your favourite tunes. 29 November. Time: 8pm.

Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway.

Cost: R120. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za Peter Pan Adult Panto For adults only.

9 November–31 December. Time: 8pm, Sunday 2pm. Venue: Musgrave Supper Theatre. Cost: R90. Contact Ailsa: 083 250 2690, ailswn@mweb.co.za or book through Computicket: 083 915 8000

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calendar Reach for Recovery Breast Cancer Support Group gets together for bringand-share morning teas. Contact: 031 205 9525 or 072 248 0008 SADAG South African Depression and Anxiety Group offers assistance to those suffering from depression or drug abuse or to those who may be suicidal. For more information or referral to a support group visit sadag.co.za Speak Easy support group for those who stutter, their family and friends. Contact Imraan Motala: 082 786 3718 or visit speakeasy.org.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Lasting Impressions pregnancy educational seminar

support groups

Infant Massage workshops Fun lessons and useful information. Participants can take a second caregiver to lessons. Starts 3 November, runs over four consecutive Wednesday mornings. Time: 9:30am–11am.

Venue: 35 Caefron Ave, Westville. Cost: R550, second caregiver R200. Contact: 031 267 0435 or lasting.impressions.studio@ gmail.com Lasting Impressions pregnancy educational seminar looks at nutrition, breastfeeding, exercise and more. 27 November. Time: 8:30am–noon. Newborn Babes seminar discusses the first 6 weeks, infant massage, audiologists and more. 27 November. Time: 2pm–5pm. Venue: 35 Caefron Ave, Westville. Cost: R50. Contact: 031 267 0435 or lasting.impressions. studio@gmail.com Pregnancy yoga teaches beneficial postures, relaxation and breathing techniques for pregnancy. Time: Wednesday 3pm, Saturday 10am. Venue: Centre for Well Being, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North.

Cost: R170. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za

ADHASA Support Groups for adult and child ADHD. Meetings are irregular.

Contact Stuart: 031 298 8896 or Robin: 082 499 1344 for details on ADHASA, meeting times and support CANSA Support Durban North for survivors, relatives and friends. Second Tuesday of every month. Venue: Durban North Methodist Church Hall. Contact: 031 564 2510 (for CANSA support groups in other areas call 031 205 9525) Childhood cancer parent support group CHOC schedules regular support meetings. Contact Gill: 084 831 3683 or visit choc.org.za Childline works to protect children, offer counselling to abuse victims, educate and train. Call the toll-free line at any time on 0800 055 555 or visit childlinesa.org.za Compassionate Friends Support group for family and friends who have lost a loved one. Fourth Sunday every month. Venue: ABSA premises, 20 Hunter St, Durban CBD. Time: 3pm–5pm. Contact: 031 335 0463 or 082 458 3663 Depression and Anxiety South Africa for depression, trauma, bipolar disorder, and other mood and anxiety disorders. Call the national helpline on 0800 20 51 21 for referral to the relevant support group Diabetes South Africa Contact: 0861 222 717 or durban@diabetessa.co.za Down Syndrome Association KZN Intuthuko support group meeting for those with Down Syndrome and their families. Third Saturday of every month.

Venue: Anglican Church Hall, Umbilo Rd, Glenwood. Contact: 076 978 9811 FAMSA offers family and relationship counselling, parenting guidance, conflict resolution and more. Contact: 031 202 8987 or visit 30 Bulwer Rd, Glenwood, Durban Hi Hopes offers support and information to families of babies with hearing loss.

Contact Cheryl Devnath: 082 447 1142, cheryl.devnath@gmail.com or visit wits. ac.za/Humanities/Education/Deaf+Studies/ HIHOPES Hoping is Coping Nationwide support

Durban Botanical Gardens Get together with some other moms, take a stroll around the gardens and let your babies enjoy the peaceful outdoors. Time: 7:30am–5:15pm daily. Venue: Sydenham Rd, Durban. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 309 1170, dbginfo@durban.gov.za or visit durbanbotanicgardens.org.za Moms and Tots and Moms and Babes workshops Interactive programmes designed to build relationships through play and fun activities. Time: varies. Venue: branches available in Umhlanga, Durban North, the Highway area and Glenwood.

Cost: varies. Contact: info@momsandtots. co.za or visit momsandbabes.co.za or momsandtots.co.za Muslimahs and Tots workshops Interactive programmes designed to build relationships through play and fun activities; geared specifically towards Muslim parents.

Time: Monday 9:30am–noon. Venue: 59 Milkwood Dr, Umhlanga. Cost: R600 per term. Contact: 031 561 6615, 084 478 6322 or visit muslimahsandtots.co.za

groups for those newly diagnosed with cancer and their families. Contact: 011 646 5628, lgold@icon.co.za or visit cansa.org.za

Story time at La Lucia Library Join other moms and tots for a children’s story and the chance to relax. Time: 1pm every Wednesday and Friday. Venue: 1 Library

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Lane, behind La Lucia Mall. Cost: free.

Contact: 031 572 2986 Tea @ TOPTOTS Teagarden where moms can take their young ones, relax and enjoy a cuppa. Second Tuesday of every month.

Venue: 2 Gwyneth Place, Carrington Heights Time: 9–noon Cost: adults R30, children R20. Contact Marinda: 084 245 0462 Toptots Children from 8 weeks–4 years can join an age-appropriate class to learn and play. Activities range from music and free play to pilates. Time: varies. Venue: branches are in Durban North, Ballito.

Kloof, Hillcrest, Westville and Hilton. Cost: approximately R810 per term. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, info@ toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za

support groups CHOC Remembrance Service for those who have lost someone to cancer or bloodrelated diseases. 27 November. Time: tbc. Venue: tbc. Cost: free. Contact: 086 111 2182, dbn@choc.org.za or visit choc.org.za La Leche League is a breastfeeding support organisation. There are currently no meetings in KZN, but for breastfeeding support and questions contact Jane: 031 309 1801 or visit llli.org/southafrica Moms and Babes support group meets monthly for a talk – this month looks at weaning and breastfeeding. 9 November.

Time: 9am–10:30am. Venue: Alberlito Hospital, Ballito. Cost: free. Contact: 032 946 6956 or 032 946 1826 Post-natal Depression Support Association of South Africa No support groups are meeting currently. Call the National Helpline on 082 882 0072 or visit pndsa.co.za The South African Multiple Birth Association Support group for families with multiples. Join other families of multiples at a Christmas braai. Time: 10am.

Venue: Sibton Hill House, on the R74 to Stanger, Ballito. Cost: free, but take braai meat and wrapped presents. Contact: 084 287 5879, or for counselling: 082 338 2625, kzn@samultiplebirth.co.za. or visit samultiplebirth.co.za

how to help East Coast Radio Toy Story is a combined initiative that encourages the public, schools and businesses to make donations of toys or money, to be given to children in need. These children are from hospitals and orphanages or from childheaded households. Toy Story aims to give them food parcels to feed a family for five weeks. It also gives children new toys to provide comfort, entertainment and joy.

Families receive a seed pack, which helps them grow their own produce. Donate a new toy at Pick n Pay, Durban Deliveries or East Coast Radio. For more information or to donate online: visit ecr.co.za Meat-free Mondays is an initiative that aims to raise awareness about the impact of meat production on the environment.

All you have to do is give up meat for one day of the week and show your support for the planet. To pledge your support sms the letters MFM, your name and email address to 34007 (sms charged at R2), or visit supportmfm.co.za Reach for a Dream Make dreams come true. Help this foundation fulfil the dreams of children with life-threatening illnesses by volunteering to assist with the assessments and fulfilments of dreams during the week. Volunteers with driver’s licenses preferred. Contact Kerry: 031 566 2220, kerry@reachforadream.org.za or visit reachforadream.org.za Sithembakuye Children’s Village is a home for orphans but also does community outreach in the Valley of 1000 Hills. They need appliances and cupboards for their kitchen as well as a geyser for hot water, carpets and beds. To find out how you can help, contact Julia: 076 417 8977 or visit sithembakuye.co.za.

White Cross Disabled Hope Centre is a home for children who are victims of abuse. Many of them are sick or suffer from problems such as autism and epilepsy.

They have no grants or subsidies and need bedding, medicine, clothing, food and more. To help, contact Stuart or Jacqui: jacquir@polka.co.za

East Coast Radio Toy Story

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za or fax it to 031 207 3429. Information must be received by 10 November for the December/January issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published.

magazine durban

it’s party time

magazine durban

November 2010

41

last laugh

under-parenting SAM WILSON perfects the art of giving yourself permission to be a less than Shiny Parent.

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November 2010

“Totally. Got it. Enjoy,” Joe said, still without looking up, and he turned around and walked off, perfectly happily, to reimmerse himself in the dodgy doings of ancient rabble rousers.

It was an epiphany. Who knew that, once of a certain age, children totally get that you don’t always want to be Shiny Parent? That sometimes, as long as it isn’t all the time, you could claim your right to under-parent and that it would be totally cool?

Now, I am not talking about when you screw up. When you’re short-tempered and scratchy and you do something unimpressive, or you yell something unfair or you... well, use your imagination here, because there are as many ways to mess up as a parent as there are parents.

No, for that I have an entirely different device. It’s called the Therapy Jar – and it’s incredibly cool. The Therapy Jar is employed like so: Child drops toast sunny side down on floor. Stressed Mom totally

flips out at Child, who gets all cryey and sorry-for-self because his mom turned into a Harpy for no real reason.

Dad raises an eyebrow at Mom and says: “Hmm... that’s 10 bucks in the therapy jar.” Child smiles, feeling vindicated. Mom smiles, a little more ruefully. Dad smiles as he managed to tell Mom she was being a lousy parent without actually having to pull her up in front of Child. The Imaginary Therapy Jar has restored balance once more.

Don’t you just love the Therapy Jar? I suggest you all select your own immediately. Ours is made of lumpy brown pottery and is brimming with enough cash to take us to the Seychelles for a month.

No, under-parenting is a lot less nefarious. It’s when you see the Good Parent goalline, but you’re just not going to run this particular race, thanks very much.

You’re up for the next one, but right now,

Joe, Sam and Benj

you’re just going to sit out for a little bit and catch your breath.

Once you think of it like that, doesn’t the concept of under-parenting feel so much more valid than simply “needing a break?”

Maybe it’s because I play with words for a living, but somehow I find the notion very comforting. Oh, go on, try it. There’s an under-parent in you somewhere, and a child who’ll be more than willing to give you permission to unleash him or her.

Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24, Parent24 and Food24. She wrote this whole column – yes, you guessed it – while lying in her bed, leg tangled with Joe, reading a book on Alexander the Great.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth

p

icture the scene: I was lying in my bed tucked in very cosily with a nice flippity-flip book and a bowl of Nik Naks. (I know, and I have white bed linen!). Joe walked in, with a book called Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know about Alexander the Great, or something equally unnerving.

“Mom?” he asked, without lifting his eyes from his book. “Did you know that Alexander the Great conquered...”

Now, I know Joey when he’s deep in historical obsession mode. If I gave him an inch here, he was going to give me an entire invasion. I had to intervene to protect my Nik-Nakked, trashy-booked happy moment.

“Joe, you know how often I’m really interested in that stuff?” I interrupted.

“Well, right now, I am enjoying just reading by myself. In fact, right now, do you mind if I under-parent for a bit? I just want to, you know, chill.”