Child magazine | DBN April 2014

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

health & wellness going barefoot when it’s ok to ditch the shoes

cotton on

to the joy of natural fibres

bond with your baby through massage how to choose the right school for your child’s

super salads & sides

get into the kitchen

spiritual needs www.childmag.co.za

April 2014

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health

great breakfast spots to try out with your family

education

entertainment

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

They say “attitude is everything” and I believe them.

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za

Our attitude towards life defines us and impacts our children. In “check your attitude!” (pg 20) we look at why our approach towards our children’s learning is vital in encouraging their enthusiasm and development.

It’s easy to lose sight of this when living at a crazy pace. It seems the higher one climbs Maslow’s pyramid, the more emphasis we place on physical excellence.

Are we doing enough of the correct forms of exercise? Are we eating correctly to optimise our performance? Try having a lazy Sunday lunch without the Tim Noakes “diet” coming up. I also have to contend with various dietary issues in my home – my daughters are pescetarian; one is wheat, soy and dairy intolerant; my fatherin-law is diabetic; and my nephew can

Features Editor Cassandra Shaw • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • studio@childmag.co.za Mariette Barkhuizen • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Lisa Waterloo • dbnsales@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: BROOKE FASANI

Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

Durban’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios,

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empty my fridge in five minutes flat. As a result, Sunday lunches are not quite as spontaneous as they used to be.

It’s all about striving for balance, which is why I love my job at Child mag where I’m exposed to much of the latest research and opinions around parenting. It’s our responsibility, and yours as a parent, to sift through all the information and choose a balanced path filled with a love of learning, good health and spiritual wellness (see pg 14). In this wonderful Health and Wellness issue we hope to inspire you and your family to live a more balanced, happy life.

to advertise Tel: 031 209 2200 Email: dbnsales@childmag.co.za Website: childmag.co.za

but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no

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obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher.

We take care to ensure our articles, and other editorial content, are accurate and balanced, but cannot accept responsibility for loss, damage or inconvenience that may arise from reading them.

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April 2014

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contents april 2014

16 upfront

regulars

3 a note from lisa

8 upfront with paul Paul Kerton points out the 10 lies children will tell

6 over to you readers respond 10 pregnancy news – matters of the heart Cassandra Shaw looks at

features 14 spirituality and school Lisa Lazarus looks at your child’s spiritual needs within the schooling context

16 happy feet there’s a time to go barefoot and a time to wear shoes.

Marc de Chazal explains

18 when dogs bite parents and dog owners are responsible for preventing dog bites. By Tamlyn Vincent

19 cotton on to natural fibres Vanessa Papas explains the benefits of using natural fibres in everyday life

20 check your attitude! Parents’ attitudes towards learning can make or break a child’s success at it, says Caryn Edwards

22 salads and sides Karen Dudley shares deliciously fresh recipes from her new book, Another Week in the Kitchen

congenital heart defect and discusses treatment options

11 best for baby – loving hands there are many benefits to massaging your baby, says Marina Zietsman

12 dealing with difference – childhood depression Glynis Horning looks at the alarming rise of teenage suicide in South Africa

24 resource – brilliant breakfast spots Tamlyn Vincent gives you a diverse list of family-friendly eateries to kick-start your day

26 what’s on in april 30 finishing touch Cassandra Shaw learns anew the power of imagination and creative play

31 a good read for the whole family

health

classified ads

9 kidney care kidney deficiency can

29 let’s party

be treated successfully if detected early, says Lucille Kemp

30 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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April 2014

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

kbPhotography facebook.com/ kbphotography.co.za

shutterstock.com

Joli Jacqueline Photography facebook.com/ jolijacquelinephotography

Pretoria

Ackermans ackermans.co.za

magazine durban

magazine durban

April 2014

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letters

food for thought Children look up to their parents. They don’t think their parents have bad morals. As they grow, children will always emulate their parents’ way of life and learn from them. It is a shame when human nature reveals to children that their parents aren’t flawless. A stigma starts growing in a child’s subconscious. This stigma takes root and will haunt a child. Eventually it could lead to the child walking the same path as the parent.

As parents, we must be aware of what we do in front of our children. No matter what we do, we need to think twice, especially how our actions will reflect back home.

Many parents often do illegal things in front of their children. Some ask the child to turn their back, but the child is still fully aware of what is going on. Exposing our children to drugs, alcohol, prostitution, criminal acts or other immoral deeds destroys their future. Child abuse is a criminal offence and punishable by law. There is an old proverb that states, “it takes a village to raise a child”.

I quote the late Reggae icon, Joseph Hill, who said: “Unless relatives or community elders work together in moulding children as they grow, those with parents of bad morals hold a detrimental future.” Parents, let’s be

exemplary to our children for the sake of their brighter future, and for that of our nation. Let’s not forget our sons and daughters are the leaders of tomorrow.

Milton Jaure

great exposure in Child magazine

a thought for the lefties

Thank you so much for putting our listing in Child magazine’s calendar. Everyone that came to the programme saw the insert in Child magazine, so yours must be the magazine that moms read.

Kathryn Brett, Babes in the Woods

Being a left-hander I found your article “left of centre” (March 2014) very interesting. I attended primary school in the 1950s and do not remember any special treatment. Those poor children were forced to change hands. Before that time the concern for left-handers was that they would not be able to work in a factory with machines designed for right-handed people.

Having taught art for 30 years I can agree with the findings of Denise Pape that 25% of the classes are left-handed. Since the advent of left-handed scissors I always made them available and taught the children to put their paints on their left-hand side. Parents should be advised not to see their left-handed child as abnormal. Did you know that Leonardo da Vinci was left-handed? He certainly did not have any spatial perceptual difficulties.

Liz Smith

over to you

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In one of your previous issues, you recommended visiting the Midlands Meander in KwaZulu-Natal with a listing of different routes, places to stop and rest, eateries and loads of accommodation. We took your advice and did the trip with my two little girls, who had never been on a road trip, especially due to all the bickering between them. The girls thoroughly enjoyed their stay at the Rawdons Hotel and Estate, where we were treated like family. Thank you for the wonderful tips and much needed advice. I love Child mag and so do my girls.

Kim Francis

letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

comment on facebook

My three year old and I love visiting different play parks around our city. I am alarmed though at the obesity I notice in children. I understand that not all children are born lean and athletic, but I see four year olds too obese to climb onto play equipment. They can hardly run, without “huffing and puffing”. And then I see what their parents feed them for breakfast.

Fast-food burgers and chips and carbonated cold drinks, all consumed before 9am! In my opinion fastfood outlets should not even be operational at that time of the morning.

I know I can’t ban my child from having the odd sweet or piece of cake, but I do make an effort to feed him healthy, balanced meals; especially for breakfast – the most important meal of the day. A friend recently told me that she will give her 10-year-old son a healthy snack or a balanced meal before he gets dropped off at a birthday party. It works well, as he is not starved when he gets to the party, and doesn’t feel that he has to stuff himself with sweets or cake. It’s simple measures like these that help our children learn healthy eating habits.

It’s not that difficult to implement. But if Mom, Dad and older siblings all indulge in fatty takeaways for breakfast, surely that’s not setting a good example for younger children. An overweight four year old struggling to play seems like child abuse to me.

Mariette van Buren

I just paged through the March issue of Child mag and have to agree with Michele Engelberg’s letter regarding school uniforms. Uniforms definitely have a place in South Africa. Something needs to be done about the cost of them though. I don’t buy branded clothing for my children, yet am forced to pay as much for uniforms; however, the quality is often shocking. Suppliers know they have the upper hand and couldn’t be bothered to up their game.

Suzy Oliveira

April 2014

great getaway idea

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your

what we feed our children

Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine

I am so happy that your magazine’s advertising rates are affordable to small businesses like ours.

Pinky, KDBS Solutions

online feedback In reply to the online feature “Understanding Tourette’s Syndrome” My 11-year-old son has Tourette’s syndrome (TS).

He is displaying vocal tics in the form of high pitched noises and swearing, and he has motor tics like spitting. I live in Cape Town, and it is very difficult finding any help here. Schooling is another nightmare.

I love reading articles like this that are positive. It gives me hope.

Glynnis Wow. Thank you for this wonderful article. We suspect that my son has TS. My heart really feels a bit better after reading this feature.

Anonymous

Reply to online feature “Playing in dirt and mud builds a child’s immunity” I took both my children to Moms and Tots where they were encouraged to play and get messy at sensory play.

It taught me to also put my hands in and not just point the finger; to dig in and get dirty with them. It was just as good for me as it was for them. I actually overcame some of my sensory issues doing that.

Anonymous In reply to Cassandra’s online blog “He won’t swallow his meds!”

My daughter was the same. When she was almost three she had to be admitted to hospital so she could have her antibiotics via a drip as she refused to take any medication and she got very sick. I felt like I was the worst mother in the world. When she was in hospital, I was there the whole time so she became a bit too comfortable. After that, I made it clear to her that if she has to go back to hospital for not taking medication, she has to go alone. Thankfully, she does not get sick often.

Anonymous subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions.

To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

magazine durban

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April 2014

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upfront with paul

10 lies children tell, in no particular order PAUL KERTON speaks honestly about the

“I’ll take them for walks and pick up their poos. Promise.”

In a straw poll of at least 140 friends, this turned out to be the mother of all lies.

Children will say absolutely anything to get a dog, cat, rabbit or anything cute. But when it’s time for the dirty work you won’t see them for dust.

“Yes, I’ve brushed my teeth.”

“Darling, your teeth are battleship grey. There’s a piece of chicken between them from last Sunday’s braai. Let me smell your breath... Oh My Gawd... you can’t go out like that; we’d need to alert the municipality. Go and brush them NOW!” “I’ll be staying at Tamsin’s tonight.”

Always check with Tamsin’s parents: a) if it is okay that she stays, and b) she is indeed staying at their house. Teenagers

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April 2014

have a habit of omitting key parts of a sentence as in, “I’ll be staying at Tamsin’s brother’s hot friend’s place tonight.”

“Mom/Dad said I could.”

The classic playing one parent off against the other – always when one parent is away on business in Hawaii, or out of the house. Who said children weren’t manipulative? “So, shall we call Mommy then...?”

“I’m still hungry.”

They are either bored or have just spotted those irresistible chocolate mouses (mice?) you brought back from the supermarket. You will offer them 20 different kinds of healthy food and they will say, “I don’t feel like that”, then you will say, “Would you like a chocolate mouse?” and they will bite your hand off.

“My arm (ear/leg/head) hurts.”

This always occurs when they are supposed to be asleep and you and your partner are snuggling up. Obviously there is nothing wrong and they just want another dollop of attention. Greedy or what?

“All my friends are wearing them/ have got them.”

It is difficult not to concede to peer pressure, but first check and see what her friends are wearing and what they have got. This always boils down to some ridiculously skimpy piece of fashion or the latest iPhone.

“Michael did it, not me.”

The blame-game is a perennial challenge. Children don’t want to disappoint by being the culprit or the cause of any mayhem. And it isn’t until they get to age

30 that they will finally accept responsibility for their actions. Of course they did it. There was nobody else in the house.

“I’ll be back before midnight.”

This means they will think about coming home before midnight but will actually set off closer to 1am. Always add one hour, at least, to the promised home time. If you want them home at midnight, set their curfew at 11pm.

“I didn’t touch any cigarettes/ drugs/alcohol, honest.”

As children get older, their social consequences get slightly more serious. The short answer to this is: “Why are you crawling on all fours and think that the garage is your bedroom? Why is your top on, inside out?

Thought I wouldn’t notice, eh?”

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

magazine durban

ILLUSTRATION: MARK VINCER

stories often told by our children.

health

kidney care Your child could be suffering from kidney deficiency, but you can help them hugely by catching it in its early stages.

a

LUCILLE KEMP alerts you to the signs.

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

lthough the most common kidney diseases in children present at birth, leaving parents feeling helpless, Prof Kala of Wits University emphasises that there are also hugely preventative aspects of it. This disease is a problem that another Joburg-based paediatric nephrologist describes as, “devastating, but somehow not as front of mind as childhood cancer. Therefore, education about early detection and the treatment options should not be neglected.” A Joburg-based mother, who was very small during her pregnancy, took her three-week-old son to her local clinic with complaints that he had not gained weight, his tummy was swollen and he was passing urine with a poor stream. Her baby was referred to the provincial hospital and, after an abdominal ultrasound, it was found that the child had obstructed kidneys. “If there wasn’t a vigilant parent and capable attending medical personnel investigating, this infection would have been in kidney-failure zone within a couple of years,” says Kala.

why so important?

Those two bean-shaped organs on either side of your spinal cord have a pivotal role to play in maintaining your body. They help to clean the blood by removing excess fluids, salts, and waste products. Kidneys also release hormones that help regulate blood pressure, create new red blood cells and maintain calcium levels for healthy bones. Kidneys are like the body’s rubbish collection and disposal system. Without healthy, functioning kidneys there would be fluid overload and electrolyte abnormalities, which can be life-threatening: severe anaemia, bone abnormalities and high blood pressure (which could lead to heart failure) and also a risk of bleeding into the head, causing a stroke.

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be on the lookout “In newborns and infants, where kidney disease is prevalent, a failure to thrive is usually evident – poor weight gain and appetite, vomiting, a miserable mood, low- or high-blood pressure and poor urine output,” says Kala. In older children, signs and symptoms of kidney problems vary and include fever, swelling around the eyes, face, feet and ankles, burning or pain during urination, a significant increase in the frequency of urination, difficulty controlling urination (in children who are mature enough to use the toilet), recurrence of night-time bed-wetting (in children who have been dry for several months), blood in the urine and high-blood pressure. “It is a fallacy that children do not get hypertension,” says Kala.

help is at hand Treating the underlying condition that’s causing the kidney failure can sometimes help heal the kidneys. This, however, isn’t possible if the person has lost more than 15% of their kidney function, in which case a kidney transplant is needed. Kidney donation also allows you to have a living donor as one healthy kidney can still keep the donor’s body functioning well. If your child hasn’t found a living donor match, usually in the form of a close relative or friend, they will be on a waiting list to receive a kidney from a nonliving donor. So, in the interim your child will need to go on dialysis, which does the work of a kidney by cleaning the blood.

The Organ Donor Foundation stresses the importance of becoming a donor through its Save Seven Lives campaign, which works on the premise that one person has seven life-saving organs: one heart, two lungs, one liver, one pancreas and two kidneys.

April 2014

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pregnancy news

p

regnant mothers can do a lot to try and aid the health and safety of their unborn child through creating a healthy living environment, maintaining a well-balanced diet and regular exercise.

However, in some instances, the mother’s lifestyle choices do little to prevent certain disorders, like congenital heart defect (CHD) from occurring. Sound medical assistance and early diagnosis are key.

chd defined CHDs are the most common type of birth defect and they affect about 1:100 children, says Dr Liesl Zühlke, a paediatric cardiologist and president of the Paediatric Cardiac Society of South Africa. Yet, “in countries where antenatal screening (using fetal ultrasound) is not universal, such as South Africa, with varying rates depending on public, private and rural settings, [she says] the number is more likely to be higher”.

CHD occurs when the structure of the heart or its blood vessels have a defect.

However, there are many different types that range in severity. Zühlke says some small lesions can resolve spontaneously

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matters of the heart whereas others can be more complex, requiring treatment in the form of multiple surgeries. “The most common types of CHD are commonly termed ‘a hole in the heart’ where there are defects in the walls between the chambers of the heart, however, even these are all different,” she adds.

While some causes of CHD have been associated with genetics, most are still unknown. Zühlke stresses the importance of

paediatric cardiologist or foetal specialist for an individualised diagnosis.

Due to early diagnosis and strides in the treatment of CHD, survival rates have increased universally above 95%. Zühlke explains that “in the US, more people are living with repaired congenital heart disease than are being born with it.” In South Africa, however, these rates are not quite as high, and although this country’s survival rates

CASSANDRA SHAW discusses congenital heart defect – the most common birth defect in children. understanding that “common things such as maternal diet during pregnancy, exercise or lack of exercise during pregnancy does not cause heart disease in the baby.”

spotting chd The heart develops very early in pregnancy and an incorrect formation should be detectable at the 16- and 20-week scans.

If a defect is found, Zühlke says that your sonographer should refer you to a

within hospitals can be compared to those overseas, given the quality of our surgeons, Zühlke states that sometimes there is little hope for those who are diagnosed too late where surgery is no longer an option.

For those not diagnosed in utero there are a number of signs to look out for and they may differ depending on age. At birth, however, although most babies are born with blue hands and feet, Zühlke says that a baby with a blue tongue or blue lips is an

important danger sign that should never be ignored. A fast heartbeat, fast breathing, cold hands and feet and a poor pulse are also symptoms to look out for initially.

being proactive Because of its link to genetics, there may be a chance that subsequent pregnancies or mothers who have had CHD, could pass it on genetically. Zühlke explains that “it is important to scan all subsequent pregnancies. Pregnant women with a heart disease should also have good antenatal care” as it can aid early diagnosis. It is also advisable that would-be parents with a family history of CHD should see a genetic counsellor before deciding to become pregnant.

helpful links for parents • c ontact: kidsheartSA@gmail.com or visit: pcssa.org • visit: africa.congenital.org • visit: chdsouthafrica.weebly.com • visit: heartskids.co.za • visit: hudsoninitiative.org

magazine durban

best for baby

loving hands Baby massage has a number of beneficial elements and can also be

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a good way to bond with your child, explains MARINA ZIETSMAN.

ell-known French obstetrician and author Frederick Leboyer writes in his book, Loving Hands: The Traditional Art of Baby Massage, “Being touched and caressed, being massaged, is food for the infant. Food as necessary as minerals, vitamins, and proteins.”

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

what are the benefits?

According to research sponsored by UNICEF and studies from the University of Miami’s Touch Research Institute, children and infants who were massaged showed improved sleeping patterns, diminished anxious behaviour and significantly reduced stress indicators. Premature babies who were regularly massaged gained weight faster, and performed better on developmental tasks. It benefitted their developing nervous systems, they acquired mental and motor skills earlier and were more relaxed than non-massaged babies.

“Babies with Down’s syndrome, cerebral palsy, autism and other syndromes can benefit from loving touch and massage,” says Ronel Coetzee, vice-president of IAIM South Africa (International Association of Infant Massage).

Certified infant massage instructor Sureida Pienaar, from Cape Town, says as all senses are used during massage, “It promotes bonding and a nurturing touch between the mom and the baby and improves verbal and

magazine durban

nonverbal communication and pre-language communication skills.” Pienaar says massage also stimulates the circulatory, digestive, hormonal, immune, lymphatic, nervous and respiratory systems and it improves coordination and balance, learning abilities and muscular development and tone. “It also helps to relieve gas, colic, constipation, cramps and excess mucus, and helps with teething,” she adds.

Coetzee says there are added benefits for parents too. “It helps parents feel more competent and confident in their role and gives them the opportunity for focused time together.” She says massage also enhances communication and builds mutual respect between a parent and a child, as well as the bond between parents and adopted children. It also provides special time for the father and the child.

ages and stages It’s advisable to massage babies when they are in a quiet and alert state, and because newborns are often asleep, it’s difficult to find the opportunity. “My advice would be to start massaging as soon as you feel comfortable, providing the baby weighs more than 2kg,” says Coetzee. She adds that the benefits of massage and loving touch never disappear.

“It’s not necessary to ever stop massaging your child. Most of the same techniques can still be used on an older child.”

where and how Massage can happen anywhere, as long as both you and your baby feel safe and relaxed. Coetzee suggests home would be the most practical place, because it’s already an environment conducive to a relaxing atmosphere. Many parents follow a short course in baby massage. Pienaar says: “I demonstrate the massage movements on a doll and the parents practise on the baby in the class as well as at home.

At week five, the parents hopefully know the movements. It’s up to the parents to continue this from then onwards.”

Coetzee recommends a daily massage, but it’s not always practical. “Massage does not need to take long. A 5- to 10-minute massage is often adequate,” says Coetzee.

“The baby is the boss here,” adds Pienaar. “We only do it when the baby is receptive to it.” If a baby has had enough massage, she will start showing disengagement cues, such as frowning, grimacing or crying.

Coetzee says, “If the baby has a medical condition, is ill or hospitalised, massage should only be performed with the consent of the medical practitioner.”

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dealing with difference

childhood

depression Depression and suicide are on the rise among children – are yours at risk?

By GLYNIS HORNING

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urban-based marketing assistant Lwazi* was delighted when her salary finally allowed her to move her 12-year-old daughter from a township school to one in the city and rent a flat nearby. But in the months that followed, her once bubbly child grew increasingly moody. She struggled to make friends and her grades dropped. “I kept telling her the move was to give her a better life, and she must just work harder,” says Lwazi. “I sacrificed, she must too.”

Then in 2012, Lwazi returned from work to find her child unconscious, empty pill bottles and her school report beside her.

“She’d failed three subjects, but I couldn’t believe a child would try to kill herself.”

According to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG),

start at age nine or 10. But when these or other signs persist for more than a few weeks and affect your child’s ability to function, it’s important to seek help, says Mpumi Mbhele, a Joburg clinical psychologist. “Untreated, it can result in poor self-esteem, and the child becoming demoralised and unmotivated.”

It may also precede more serious mental illness later in life.

Yet many parents are loath to accept that their children suffer from depression, says Linda Naidoo, director of Childline Durban.

They fear the stigma is still linked to mental health problems, or believe it reflects on their parenting. “Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, but parents often blame themselves when children are diagnosed,” says Mbhele. “Even if they partly played a

Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, but parents often blame themselves when children are diagnosed.

spot the problem Occasional moodiness and sadness is normal, particularly with the hormone changes around puberty, which today can

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role through divorce, for example, there are always multiple contributing factors.”

This became clear to Lwazi when her employer arranged counselling after her daughter had recovered in hospital. A change of school and home, fear of failure, and guilt at disappointing her mother all had a role in the child’s depression. “I see now that taking those pills was her shouting for help,” says Lwazi. “I wish I had known the danger earlier.”

realise the risks Risk factors for depression and suicide in children include break-ups with friends, bullying, illness, bereavement, neglect, physical or sexual abuse, fanatical belief systems, chaotic or conflicted family, a family history of depression or suicide, academic or mental problems and an imbalance in brain chemicals. “Peer pressure and the need to belong also play a significant part in shaping teens’ perceptions of themselves,” magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

the suicide rate for children aged 10 to 14 has more than doubled in the past 15 years.

Of the 6 000 to 8 000 people that commit suicide every year, one in three patients admitted to hospitals are children or teens.

Around 60% of those who commit suicide are estimated to suffer from depression, which affects at least two in every 100 children, and five in 100 teens.

Until 1994 the incidence of depression and suicide was lower among black South Africans, says stress and suicide expert Prof Lourens Schlebusch, author of Mind Shift: Stress Management and Your Health (UKZN Press). Since then the stress of new expectations and the pressure from family and the community to succeed have seen “a huge increase”, he says.

says Cape Town counselling psychologist Diane Mallaby. “Those who feel rejected by their peer group take it very seriously and as a personal rejection.” A recent UK study suggests that children whose mothers are depressed in pregnancy also run a small increased risk of depression later in life. The researchers advise that women who are depressed get treatment before becoming pregnant, and if they are already pregnant, find treatment urgently.

head off depression The surest way to protect your child from depression is to remind them that you love them and are there to support them.

“Developing an open, honest, trusting relationship will encourage them to come to you when they’re in distress,” says Mbhele. If you are unable to assist, make sure your child has a trusted relative, teacher or counsellor to talk to. Teach them to see mistakes as a chance to learn and grow, and help them analyse what went wrong and what they can do in future. When disciplining them, focus on their behaviour, not their personality, and on finding solutions. “Understanding teen depression is key, and patience is required because often they are moody, defiant and irritable, and they can present differently to adult depression,” says Mallaby. “Parents need a support base, and if they’re not coping they need to get help. It’s not an individual treatment plan that works best, but rather a holistic intervention.”

find treatment Start with a school counsellor or doctor, who can rule out physical problems and direct you to other professionals, or go to SADAG. “Don’t delay getting help, and always follow your intuition as a parent,” says Mallaby. The most effective form is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which focuses on changing the child’s dysfunctional thoughts and beliefs, and gives them coping and problemsolving skills. “It’s important that parents are magazine durban

involved,” she says. “CBT combined with medication, exercise and a good support system is the best approach.”

Never tell your child to “snap out of it”. It’s not disrespect or laziness; they are unwell, says Mbhele. Tell them, “You look upset, is there something you’d like to tell me?” Then listen quietly. Unburdening can help them feel better and find their own solutions. Encourage them to follow their treatment and take any medication exactly as prescribed. Also encourage them to exercise regularly to release stress and feel-good endorphins, and to eat healthily.

Also, control your own emotions – unburden with friends and don’t escape in drugs or alcohol. “A child will react better to life’s challenges with a positive role model,” says Mbhele. Lwazi’s daughter is today “a different child”. She now sees what someone at SADAG said to her: “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” *Name changed to protect identity

know the signs If your child shows the following for more than a few weeks, get help: • low, flat mood, tearfulness; • tiredness, lack of energy; • loss of interest in things or people; • change in eating/sleeping patterns; • feelings of worthlessness, failure or guilt; • complaints of aches and pains that don’t improve; • drop in grades; • irritability, anger or aggression; • r egressive behaviour (bedwetting, thumb-sucking); and • increased risk-taking, use of alcohol or drugs and acting out in rebellious or sexual behaviour.

Should your child talk, even indirectly, about dying or suicide, get help fast.

Contact SADAG: 0800 567 567 (sms 31393) or Lifeline 0861 322 322

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education

spirituality and school What are the benefits of attending a religious school? LISA LAZARUS speaks about education and your child’s spiritual needs.

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hildren, claim the Journal of Child Health Care, tend to be more spiritually aware than many adults. That’s because children want to work out what the world is about, while lacking embarrassment about spiritual perceptions.

“Religion doesn’t mean much to me... but I sure can stop and wonder about things... you look up at the sky and you wonder what’s up there,” says a child (quoted in the journal article) from an atheist background, whose cousin was killed in an accident.

Given that children have a questing and spiritual dimension, should parents take this into consideration when thinking about schooling?

children’s spiritual needs Many schools focus on academics and sports. These activities “develop the mind and body, but don’t pay attention to spiritual disciplines,” says Susan Keegan, the director and administrator at The Vine School in Cape Town, which describes itself as “Bible-based and Christ-centred”. However, she adds, people are made up of body, mind and spirit and a holistic education should take all three aspects into account.

The Vine School believes in nurturing a child’s “spiritual (or inner) life” while teaching the child how to practise spiritual disciplines, including prayer, Bible study, quiet thoughtfulness, service, simplicity and stewardship. Mehtab Razack, deputy principal of Islamia Primary in Cape Town, also draws a distinction between the inward and outward manifestations of spirituality.

“Spirituality implies inwardly that we are sincere, honest, just and compassionate while outwardly, spirituality is manifested in good behaviour and positive relations.”

According to Clare Pretorius, the senior deputy principal of Randpark Ridge-based Trinityhouse High School, which has an overtly Christian ethos, spirituality cannot be taught. It is a quality that is innate to a person, she says, though all people have a bent toward the spiritual, or what Pretorius terms “a God-shaped hole”. Children can, however, be taught the theory of Christianity. The school teaches by way of “lifestyle evangelism”, or leading by example.

In keeping with these ideas, the school has an assembly every day in which a message from the gospel is given by a staff member. Christian principles are followed and taught throughout the school in all activities, including Bible education lessons, which take place on a weekly basis.

Andy Haefner, the principal of King David Yiddish Folk preprimary school, a traditional Jewish Orthodox establishment in Joburg, also believes that spirituality as well as

organised religion should play a part in the school curriculum. For her, spiritual needs relate to the need to belong, both within the family and the greater community. “Every human being has an intrinsic need to feel part of something bigger than themselves and this is why people look to organised religion,” says Haefner.

The preprimary phase is ideal for starting religious instruction, Haefner says, as young children are beginning to think more abstractly and form opinions about their existence.

They are also open to learning about moral values through religion so that they grow up as menschen, a Yiddish word for “good, righteous people”. Sunil Singh, the principal of Westville Hindu Primary School in Durban, also emphasises how teaching spirituality is a way to impart “morals, values and discipline”.

Not all parents who decide to send their child to a school that has a religious component, whether mild or intense, are themselves religious. Geraldine Dahl defines herself as “more spiritual and open-minded”, whereas she chose the Anglican Bishops Diocesan College (Cape Town) for her seven-year-old son. She describes the school as “religious”, although she was anticipating more of a religious push from the school. Boys are expected to attend regular chapel services and meet with the school pastor. Geraldine feels that at her son’s young age, he needs “the groundwork laid first”, but she does find it a “fairly difficult line to straddle”.

She explains that her son will eventually make his own decision about the extent to which he adopts formal religion into his life. However, Christianity is core to Western culture, she remarks, and because the Bible teachings are not part of his home life, he needs the tools provided by the school to make this important decision at a later stage. In addition, she is pleased to see the values of Christianity, such as “ethics, morals and the acceptance of others” being taught in the school rather than “Bible bashing”. The school includes boys from all faiths and she thinks they do a good job of blending religion and education. However, Dahl is quick to concede that she had no experience of a religious-based school as, despite growing up in a strict religion, the school she attended had only one religious studies period a week, which she regularly bunked.

Sometimes parents, who are not themselves religious, decide, for whatever reason, to send their child to a religious school. Haefner confirms this when she says that they have parents from across the spectrum: the very observant to the nominally traditional. Staff are mandated to enlighten the children on all aspects of Judaism, but no one is ever made to feel that they have to abide by the doctrines or practices in any way.

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ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Not all parents who decide to send their child to a school that has a religious component, whether mild or intense, are themselves religious.

When Keegan interviews prospective non-Christian families, she explains to them that they will be expected to respect the school’s faith commitment and that their children won’t be excused from religious activities such as chapel services. However, she suggests that parents honestly tell their children that they don’t believe all the same things as the school, and that they discuss the reasons for their choices when differences become evident.

different teaching approaches Besides the religious component, do these kinds of schools differ in any other significant ways?

Razack explains that Islamia Primary offers both Arabic and Islamic Studies as subjects. This provides students with the opportunity to obtain secular and religious knowledge at the same institution as part of one learning experience. The curriculum of Westville Hindu Primary also goes beyond an academic and sports programme to include culture through music, dance and yoga, as well as meditation and simple Hawan, Hindi or Tamil lessons.

Keegan believes that The Vine School’s Christian world-view has a radical effect on their teaching approach. She says that it affects everything they do. Keegan explains that because children are made in the image of a personal God, they are seen as “creative, relational beings with unlimited potential and eternal destiny”.

With this perception in mind, she says it makes no sense to define expected outcomes and subject all children to the same standardised tests. This does not take their individuality into account. Therefore, the school does not support low-interest tasks like completing worksheets and other “busy work”, which just leads to boredom and inattention (and the proliferation of an ADHD diagnosis). “We also don’t believe in using ‘manipulative methods’ – like star charts, prizes, effusive praise, conditional love or even black marks or demerits – but prefer to awaken their curiosity through interesting and intellectually satisfying content.”

Jimmy Khanyile, who works as a scientist manager for the Department of Environmental Affairs, decided to send his daughter, Rorisang, aged six, to The Vine School. Khanyile explains that when he and his wife, Ella, saw the advert for the school in the paper, he

perceived it as an answer to his prayers. They were searching for a religious school that embodies Christian faith values, such as kindness, care and ethics. He says: “The philosophy of the school (based on the Ambleside curriculum) and its religious alignment is congruent, because it allows learning and growing of new habits while strengthening an individual’s emotional intelligence, not only for learners but also for parents.” Choosing the right school for your child can cause anxiety for many parents. This is partly because a school is selected before a child’s talents and personality are entirely known. Schools with a strong religious component might be worth considering if the fit is good with the family, the school is particularly appealing or the spiritual needs of your child are important to you.

other ways to teach your child spirituality outside the classroom Dr Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist and creator of the website ahaparenting.com, offers the following tips for encouraging nondenominational spirituality: • Develop your child’s sense of wonder Try and point out the miracle of life to your child – take time to look at a new flower that has sprouted, a snail making tracks across the garden or a gangly puppy.

• Build trust Even if you don’t believe in a God, children need to feel that the universe is basically benevolent and not out to get them.

• Answer the deep questions Children’s endless questions can become annoying, but they are trying to get to the heart of the matter. They need to understand that there are reasons why things happen, even if these reasons don’t always make sense. Even if an act of violence occurs, she advises that you say, “Sometimes people disagree with each other and they don’t use their words to work things out. They fight – with their hands or guns or bombs. Those things always create more pain and hurt. That’s why we always try to use words.”

• Use reflection People benefit from shutting down the noise of technology

i’m an atheist or agnostic…

and quietly reflecting, whether this includes prayer or not. Take time to be

Richard Dawkins’ book The Magic of Reality examines, at a level suitable for young people, how science rather than the Bible can explain the world. It’s an alternative way for understanding why things happen the way they do and this resource might be a useful addition for parents who want to provide children with a variety of explanations.

together with your family. Go for walks in the forest or look up at the night sky.

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Spend the weekend unplugged from all electronic devices.

• Teach gratitude Model aloud how wonderful it is to have certain things – a tasty meal, a warm bed at night, a fun play date; gratitude is about being aware of what has been received.

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health

happy feet Shoes or no shoes – MARC DE CHAZAL

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eet are remarkable. Each foot contains 26 bones (together that’s 25% of all the bones in your body), 33 joints and more than 100 muscles, tendons and ligaments. Our feet are complex anatomical structures that enable us to move about efficiently, whether we’re walking, running or jumping. It’s no wonder, then, that we have invented all kinds of shoes to protect our feet from injury and to enhance our performance in various sports. But are shoes always a good thing? There is a growing movement of barefoot enthusiasts around the world, and those who endorse minimalist shoes for walking and running, who believe that barefoot is best. They argue that traditional footwear weakens our feet and prevents us from walking and running with a natural gait. They also point out that we rely on the feedback we get from the ground to maintain our balance and form, especially when running, which is impeded by overly cushioned shoes.

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How does this affect our children?

Their feet are different to those of adults, because they’re still developing. Their growing feet are especially vulnerable to the elements and need protection from sharp objects such as glass and thorns when they start to walk; the flip side of this coin is that shoes may actually hamper the normal development of a young child’s foot. The bones in a baby’s foot are soft and will only harden around the five-year-old mark. You’d be hardpressed to find a podiatrist who will argue against the barefoot-is-best philosophy when talking about the novice walker. “I believe children should be barefoot as much as possible,” says Chris Delpierre, a podiatrist at the Sports Science Institute, who is also the father of one-year-old twins. “Going barefoot helps children to develop balance and good posture and is also best for the natural development of foot muscles.” magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

explains the benefits of both.

baby steps

bigger steps

Delpierre advises parents to get their child’s first pair of shoes when they start to walk, not before. Bare feet or socks with rubber grips are adequate until your baby takes his first steps. “Your child’s first shoe should only be used to protect their feet from rough or wet surfaces,” says Delpierre.

“When children are learning to walk, they should be barefoot as much as possible.”

What should you look for in your toddler’s first shoe? Podiatrists tend to agree that a child’s first pair of shoes should be as light and soft as possible.

Flexibility is crucial. Put the shoe to the test by bending it in half and twisting it.

“The shoe should give the sole of the foot grip, but should in no way restrict the natural movement and growth of the foot,” Delpierre explains. “Try to get shoes made of leather or fabric that allows the foot to breathe naturally. As a child gets older,

When children start school, wearing shoes is usually compulsory. Kommetjie Primary School in the Western Cape does have a prescribed school uniform, but it has a relaxed policy about footwear. “We allow children to come to school barefoot,” says school secretary Dian Hanratty. “It generally gets very hot in the summer months and we find that going barefoot prevents the smelly feet problem. If children opt to wear shoes, the requirement is a white sport shoe for both girls and boys.

Most of our learners come to school barefoot throughout the year, although we stress the importance of personal hygiene and neatness,” adds Hanratty. Their learners are required to wear appropriate shoes for sports such as tennis and cricket (primarily to protect their feet from injury), for school outings and for certain school functions.

Each foot contains 26 bones (together that’s 25% of all the bones in your body), 33 joints and more than 100 muscles, tendons and ligaments. takkies or trainers are a good idea. Those that fasten with Velcro make doing them up much easier for parents.”

The Podiatry Association of South Africa stresses the importance of buying shoes that fit correctly. According to foot experts, no shoe should be “broken in”.

This just means the shoe is either poorly designed or poorly fitting. You want your child to be as comfortable as possible wearing shoes. They also advise that you look for a shoe with a round toe box, as this gives the toes more room. And there should be a thumb’s width between the end of the shoe and the end of the longest toe. When their toe approaches the end, it’s time for a new pair.

One of the most important things to remember when buying shoes, no matter the age of your child, is that feet naturally swell during the day, so the afternoon is a good time to go shoe shopping. It may be tempting to buy shoes with lots of growing room, but this is not ideal. “The shoe will be too big in the beginning, which causes unnatural foot function as the foot tries to grip the shoe,” says Delpierre.

There are some innovative “barefoot shoes” on the market for children, including some that are designed especially for learners who are required to wear black or brown shoes as part of their school uniform. The aim of these shoes is to give children the health benefits of going barefoot with the protection of normal shoes.

Delpierre believes that children benefit most from being barefoot when they are playing or exercising. “Wearing shoes restricts the natural movement of the foot, which will cause a loss of balance and agility. Shoes also cause the foot to function differently, which will affect the development of muscles in the foot,” he says.

“Shoes for specific sports can have a big impact on performance levels, but this is not a factor for young children.

As they get older and participate in sports such as tennis, hockey, rugby, soccer or cricket, shoes become very important for protection and performance.

But young children should be barefoot for sport.”

tips for parents • • • •

Inspect your child’s feet regularly.

Allow your baby to kick freely so that normal development can occur.

Do not force your child to walk – the average walking age is 10–18 months.

Encourage barefoot walking on suitable surfaces (sand, grass, carpets) to stimulate muscle activity and development.

• Shoe and sock sizes should be adjusted as their feet grow.

• Any complaint should be taken seriously.

Source: Podiatry Association of South Africa

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April 2014

17

pet safety

when dogs bite Both parents and dog owners have a responsibility to

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ensure that dog bites don’t happen. By Tamlyn Vincent

why dogs bite Serious dog bites aren’t common, says Knysna-based dog expert and trainer, Karis Nafte. What is common is dogs trying to discipline children by nipping them. Nafte sees numerous dogs who have shown aggression towards

avoid a child, or freeze when the child approaches. He might avoid eye contact. Or he may stare, not when the child’s eating a sarmie, but with what Nafte calls hard, glassy eyes or with the whites of the eyes showing.

But, Nafte says, don’t ignore warning signs, regardless of the dog’s reason for growling. Rather deal with it by getting professional advice as soon as it starts. Dr Donald Leask, a Joburg vet, says dogs that bite or growl at children can be moved to a home without children, or to one where there is a strong alpha dog. When Sarah adopted a Cocker Spaniel her children were thrilled. But when the spaniel kept growling and behaving weirdly around the children, she had no choice but to give it away.

The children weren’t thrilled, but Sarah did what she had to: prevent any future accidents.

do’s and don’ts Apart from paying attention to your dog’s behaviour, dog owners can take other precautions. Don’t leave your dog alone with children, says Leask. If children are visiting rather put your dog away, somewhere he’s comfortable and safe. If you’re walking your dog, ensure he’s on a leash, and that you’re the one in control. Nafte doesn’t recommend

When a child hugs a dog, and the dog growls, the best reaction is to take the child away without shouting. children, and says there are two main reasons why dogs bite.

The first is that they may be in pain and frustrated, so they bite. If you notice a sudden change in behaviour in your dog, such as a friendly dog that becomes grumpy overnight, or if he growls at your touch, take him to the vet immediately. If the vet rules out medical problems, see a dog behaviourist.

And secondly, dogs bite as a last resort; as a final way of getting their message across. Dogs may express themselves by growling. This isn’t necessarily a sign of aggression, says Nafte. It’s often a dog’s way of saying he feels uncomfortable and, because of this, owners shouldn’t punish their dogs for growling. A natural instinct for any parent faced with a dog growling at their child is to shout at or punish the dog.

But Nafte explains that dogs who are continually punished for growling may eventually stop growling, which could be potentially far more dangerous because your dog has no way, other than biting, to create distance between himself and the child. So when a child hugs a dog, for example, and the dog growls because he finds this intimidating, the best reaction is to quietly take the child away. “Screaming is the worst thing you can do,” advises Nafte. It sounds like barking to the dog, who may think you’re barking at the child and take it as an invitation to attack.

advance warning Dogs don’t just bite out of the blue, notes Nafte. Growling is one warning sign, but there are others. The dog may

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getting a puppy if you have small children. Leask agrees: “Getting a puppy with a two year old is a recipe for disaster, as one of them usually has very sharp teeth.” But if you do get a puppy, choose a breed that is more child-friendly, and take it to puppy school where it can be socialised and trained, and where you can both learn obedience basics.

But the onus is not solely on dog owners. Whether you own dogs or not, your children are likely to come into contact with them, and teaching children how to behave around dogs could prevent bites. “Parents should teach their children to respect dogs,” says Claire Buisman, operations manager at the Durban and Coast SPCA. Teach them how to treat dogs, including not pulling their tails or interrupting a dog while he’s eating. Children should stay clear of the dog if they’re walking around with a snack in their hands, says Buisman. Stop your children from hugging dogs, advises Nafte, especially those they don’t know well. For dogs who are not very comfortable with children, this feels like an act of aggression as the child seems to be pinning him down. And parents, especially those with dogs at home, should educate children that not all dogs are friendly.

Dog bites can happen in an instant and could change your child’s life forever. They can also change your dog’s life. Joshua was visiting my house, when my dog Zoey snapped at him. It was the first time it had happened, but I couldn’t help but think, “What if she does this again? How could I ever give my dog away?” Or worse.

stray alert Teach your children what to do if they encounter a stray dog: • Don’t shout or pick up anything with which to threaten the dog, causing them to attack.

• Quietly look at the ground and slowly back away.

• Don’t run, as dogs may give chase. If you are running, start walking.

• If the dog is aggressive, hug a tree or lean flat against a wall.

• If you do fall down, use your hands and arms to cover your face and neck.

• When you are safely away, call the authorities.

golden rules Teach your children to never: • disturb dogs while they’re eating or sleeping; • take away dogs’ toys or possessions; • hug, kiss or put their faces near dogs’ faces; • try to tease, scare or hurt dogs; or • reach through a fence to pat dogs.

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

ne sunny day three-year-old Joshua was playing outside our house. Zoey, our resident dachshund, was lying on her bed in the sun.

Joshua’s mom, Sarah, was enjoying lunch with family.

Then a scream tore through the air.

As Joshua ran inside, Sarah could see his face was bleeding. He had jumped onto Zoey’s bed, and she had bitten him. It wasn’t that bad. Sarah cleaned it, stuck a plaster on it, and Joshua carried on as if nothing had happened. Joshua was lucky. Research shows that children under the age of six are more likely to be bitten than any other age group, and these bites usually happen at home or at a friend’s house. Most often children are bitten on the face, head and neck. Zoey was a small dog, and bit Joshua more as a warning nip. If a bigger dog had bitten him, he may have had scarring on his face and needed plastic surgery, or worse.

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natural elements

cotton on to natural fibres Silkworms, goats, pineapple leaves and hemp are all used in the manufacturing of natural fibres,

w PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

explains Vanessa Papas. hen it comes to choosing your child’s sheets, linen, mattress protector, blankets, towels and clothing, the benefits of natural fibres far outweigh those of synthetics. Made from plant and animal sources, natural fibres take centre stage in terms of comfort, absorption, breathability and durability. Free of harsh chemicals, they are also less likely to cause skin irritations and allergies, and are extremely lightweight, while still providing softness, warmth and protection.

“There are a number of natural options available but the most popular fibres used in bedding and clothing are cotton, sourced from the cotton plant, and linen, from the flax plant,” explains Jimmy Ferendinos, CEO of a company specialising in hypoallergenic bedding, pure cotton towelling, percale bedding and natural bedding.

“Although linen is a more durable fibre, it’s very coarse and can be rough. Cotton, on the other hand, is still the undisputed ‘king’ when it comes to comfort and is ideal for delicate, sensitive skin. Not only does it not ‘cling’ to the

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body and absorb perspiration from the skin, preventing the ‘clammy’ feeling often experienced with synthetic fibres, but it’s hard-wearing and can withstand heavy usage, including continued laundering, giving you years of good service. It doesn’t pill and it’s hypoallergenic.”

Cotton has also become particularly popular in the manufacturing of reusable nappies and liners because of its high fluid absorbency (a cotton nappy with a weight of 85g can absorb up to 100ml of fluid). Other natural plant fibres, like coir (coconut husk) have begun replacing standard polyurethane mattresses as they allow a constant circulation of air through the mattress, reducing the chances of your baby overheating and decreasing the chance of allergies (dust mites cannot live in organic coir).

Another plant-derived fibre is hemp, which is both soft and extremely durable.

Products manufactured from animal fibres are ideal for children as they do not conduct heat, keeping them warm in winter and cool in summer. Wool, mohair and cashmere from sheep and goats, Angora wool from rabbits and silk from silkworms are the most popular.

Pure wool can absorb up to a third of its own weight in moisture without feeling damp; mohair is flame- and crease-resistant; Angora wool is lightweight yet seven times warmer than wool; and cashmere is very soft. Silk is cool to touch, breathable, warm with superior insulating properties and naturally strong and durable. Raw silk also contains antimicrobial materials, which have healing and anti-inflammatory properties. Silk is very effective if your baby is susceptible to nappy rash. Placed directly on your baby’s skin, raw silk will reduce redness without any use of powder or cream. Just keep in mind, although biodegradable, natural fibres aren’t necessarily more gentle on the environment. Their cultivation can involve high usage of water and agricultural chemicals.

what does “thread count” mean?

Thread count refers to the number of threads woven together in a square inch. If you prefer a crisp sheet, choose a percale weave (200 to 300 thread count) and for a soft, silky sheet, choose a sateen weave (500 to 600 thread count). Steer clear of polycotton sheets under 180 thread count as they tend to pill with wear and become scratchy to the skin.

natural fibre production videos • • • •

youtube.com/watch?v=okFKyD3CHYU nwga.co.za/media-gallery/video.html naturalfibres2009.org/en/fibres/videos.html youtube.com/watch?v=y6a8JKYnSxQ&noredir ect=1

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19

parenting

check your attitude!

CARYN EDWARDS explains how our attitudes to learning can affect our children’s aptitude.

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make learning exciting and fun Joburg-based psychologist and play therapist Shannon Eggers believes a teacher’s role is vital in promoting the enjoyment of a subject. “A teacher’s positive attitude

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teacher is modelling to the learner how mathematics or history can be enjoyable. Shannon believes that this is a vital concept to grasp when assessing a child’s response to a particular subject. “If children are assisted to see learning as an adventure or exciting discovery, rather than hard work, learning comes alive and the content is retained for longer.”

encourage their passions

impacts on the tone, energy and mood of a classroom of children and will always have consequences related to the learning environment.” She understands that a teacher who is passionate about his subject will teach with energy and enthusiasm, which then makes for a more engaging and interesting experience for the learner. The teacher’s passion will enhance his teaching of a subject as he will be more determined to impart the engaging essence of the subject. In many instances, passion is tantamount to fun, and Shannon knows that children learn when there is a level of amusement. Subconsciously, a passionate

As a home-schooling mom of four, Nicole Maurel cannot rely on school teachers to instil passion in her daughters’ learning. Instead, Nicole has a responsibility to teach not only one subject, but all school subjects to her children, and has the task of revealing a sense of fervour in all learning areas, whether her own passion lies therein or not. In order to achieve this, Nicole spends time with each child individually, focusing on their own strengths and weaknesses and using their personal interest to guide her teaching. Her six-year-old daughter, Ryen, is interested in astronomy and geography, neither of which Nicole is particularly drawn to. To facilitate and encourage Ryen’s enjoyment of these subjects, Nicole ensures that they take trips to the planetarium, which enables her to spend time poring over maps and atlases.

Because all four of her children are so different in their

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

o you remember your favourite teacher at school?

Did that teacher happen to teach your favourite subject? Likewise, were you best at the sports and disciplines for which you received the most support and encouragement? Were your least favourite subjects or sports the same disciplines your parents or grandparents didn’t excel in? Were you ever told you probably wouldn’t do well in a particular field because your parent had no ability in that field and that you don’t have the genes for excellence?

If you recognise these scenarios, you are part of a large group of people whose passions and achievements are almost predetermined by words spoken over them at a young age. Unfortunately, because of the way you may have been encouraged or discouraged to enjoy particular subjects, you may be, unintentionally, projecting the same ideas onto your own children.

The attitudes to learning of parents, teachers and any people that your children spend time with or respect, are vital in a child’s development.

capabilities and interests, their involvement in outings to places that might have been of little interest to them may encourage a fascination that can later be explored.

Thalia Hansen, a high school teacher from Cape Town, also knows well how the passion of a teacher can influence learning. “Anyone can go into a classroom and recite a textbook; anyone can blurt out a prepared lesson. However, only a few can truly instil passion in their students.” Thalia believes that the key to learning is teaching with conviction: “If a teacher is passionate about a subject but speaks over the heads of the learners, the passion is useless. There is a critical balance between passion for the subject, and compassion for the student,” she reiterates. A teacher who dresses up to play a role, and uses music and other appealing approaches to learning, will not only engage the learner and encourage their learning, but will encourage a respect from the learners who realise that the teacher has their best interests at heart, and that is more important than an intact ego.

be a positive role model Shannon recognises that, unfortunately, not all children will experience a connection to a teacher or a subject, no matter the amount of effort a teacher may put into teaching it. This is where, she believes, parents’ roles are vital. “Parents are key role models for young children, and if they display enthusiasm for learning, this will go a long way in the encouragement of their child to develop an interest in learning, despite the subject matter.” Children need to have time management, organisational skills and revision

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exercises demonstrated to them by their parents so that they are equipped to learn and remember what they have been taught. Shannon continues, “Parents need to encourage and acknowledge perseverance and effort, and should avoid only the celebration of high marks. Perseverance is a far more useful life skill than the simple regurgitation of facts.”

If children are assisted to see learning as an adventure or exciting discovery, rather than hard work, learning comes alive and the content is retained for longer.

Moé, but startling to anyone who believed in the importance of IQ over self-belief – a vital fact in aiding the understanding of how important the attitudes of parents and teachers are when it comes to the education of children.

The inclusion of the compulsory subject of Life Orientation in the South African curriculum is a step in the right direction towards creating a generation of learners with a high EQ: acknowledging, identifying and managing feelings should be taught from a very early age. This, combined with the setting of realistic goals, constant support, unending encouragement, and an attitude of passion and enjoyment for learning may be the steps we need to take in order to ensure engaged, inquisitive and emotionally intelligent children.

Imagine if the instillation of positive self-belief existed in all classrooms, home schools, and indeed all homes.

Surely this is desirable and achievable? And your children will have you to thank.

eq over iq In order to prove the importance of attitude, Italian psychologist Angelica Moé, conducted a study with more than 200 high school students. Before they began, the students were told that “intrinsic aptitude” – a phrase infamously coined by Harvard president Larry Summers – would account for the differences in the achievement levels of the men and women taking part in the study. Thus, the students were preconditioned to believe that the results would not be a reflection on their intelligence, but would rather be based on their gender, and their “intrinsic aptitude” for the particular subject. The results were expected by

how to ensure a positive attitude for learning • K eep an eye on your children’s role models – do they reflect an attitude you want your children to have?

• Affirmations are powerful. They take the place of negative thoughts in children’s minds.

• Be realistic, but always be positive. Genes are less important than a positive attitude.

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book extract

salads and sides Filled with a delicious variety of flavourful recipes, KAREN DUDLEY’s new book lets us spend Another Week in The Kitchen. beetroot, fennel & fig salad | Serves 8

spinach & cheddar gözleme | Serves 8

I love the sweet “meaty” bite of the dried figs in this salad, and how the fragrant fennel connects with the beetroot.

I stared, slack-jawed, at the sheets of filled savoury börek and gözleme pastries that sell by the kilo from shops in Istanbul.

The shop assistant seemed appalled at the small amount I wanted to buy for our breakfast. Clearly, these are pastries that demand to be eaten in large amounts.

method Boil the beetroot in plenty of water until tender, about 40–50 minutes. Once cooked, drain and slip off the skins. Once cool enough to handle, grate the beetroot.

Combine the beetroot, half of the sliced figs, herbs, cumin seeds and one of the sliced fennel bulbs in a bowl together with the vinaigrette and lemon juice, and mix together gently with two wooden spoons. Season with salt and black pepper. You might want to add a little splash of flavoured vinegar at this point or a teaspoon of honey.

Pile on a platter and scatter over the remaining sliced fennel bulb. If using, drizzle or blob the Greek yoghurt on top.

Garnish with sumac, lemon rind, a few tendrilous fennel leaves and the remaining fig slices. If you can find beetroot sprouts, or micro leaves, these would be another fantastic garnish.

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April 2014

black-eyed beans with swiss chard & tahini | Serves 8 This warm dish is an excellent way to eat both Swiss chard and black-eyed beans.

It can be served with flat bread or fragrant rice and makes a great accompaniment to simple roast chicken or lamb. ingredients • 300g black-eyed beans, soaked overnight • 1kg Swiss chard, thoroughly washed • 1¾ cups vegetable stock • ½–¾ cup tahini • 4 leeks, washed, trimmed and chopped • olive oil, for cooking • 6 cloves garlic, sliced • 1 tsp ground nutmeg • 1½ tsp chilli powder • 1 large bunch coriander (about 40g), chopped • salt and black pepper • lemon wedges, as garnish method Cook the beans in plenty of boiling water for about 40 minutes or until tender, then drain them in a colander.

While the beans are cooking, prepare the chard: separate the leaves and the stalks. Then chop the leaves roughly and the stalks more finely.

Pour a little hot stock onto the tahini in a bowl, whisk thoroughly and tip it back into the rest of the stock, and whisk again.

Fry the leeks in olive oil for 3–4 minutes and add the garlic. Stir fry for a minute and then add the chard stalks.

Cook for another 2 minutes and then add the chard leaves, spices and coriander. Stir well for a few moments and then add the cooked beans.

Pour the tahini stock mixture over the beans and chard, season to taste and allow to bubble gently for about 4–5 minutes. If you find the sauce has thickened too much, you could add another ½ cup of boiling water to thin it to your liking. Serve with lemon wedges.

ingredients • 2 tsp olive oil • 500g Swiss chard leaves, chopped • ½ bunch coriander, chopped • ½ red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped • • • • •

1 red onion, grated 2 cloves garlic, crushed 200g cheddar, grated 2–3 sheets filo pastry 6 tbsp butter, melted

method Heat the olive oil in a large frying pan and sauté the chard, coriander, chilli, onion and garlic for 2–3 minutes until the leaves have wilted.

Remove from the heat, drain and discard the cooking fluids. Cool in a bowl, then add the grated cheese.

about the book She’s done it again. After the success of A Week in the Kitchen, Karen Dudley has authored yet another book offering a number of delectable recipes to enjoy with family and friends. Whether you’re cooking at home or bringing a dish somewhere to share, you’ll find something nice, that’s sure to be a hit, in here. Another Week in the Kitchen is published by Jacana Media and can be found at all good book stores.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: RUSSEL WASSERFALL

ingredients • 1kg beetroot • 120g sliced dried figs • 30g dill, roughly chopped • 30g coriander, roughly chopped • 2 fennel bulbs, very finely sliced, some leaves reserved for garnish • 2½ tsp cumin seeds, toasted in a dry pan • ¼ cup of your favourite vinaigrette • 1 tsp ground sea salt • freshly ground black pepper • 5 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil • splash of flavoured vinegar (optional) • juice of 1 lemon and zest for garnishing • ½ cup Greek yoghurt (optional) • good pinch of sumac (optional)

You will need to cover the filo with a damp cloth while you’re not working with it. Butter one sheet of the filo thoroughly. Lay another layer of filo over the first. Cut the large sheet into 3 rectangles.

Working with one piece at a time, spoon some of the chard-and-cheese filling into the middle of one half of the large rectangle. Brush the sides with melted butter. Fold the rectangle in half to enclose the filling. Fold over the sides to seal and brush with more butter. Brush the outside of the rectangles with melted butter and arrange the “envelopes” on a platter. Repeat until you have 6 filled pastry envelopes.

Heat the remaining butter in a nonstick pan and sauté the gözleme for 2–3 minutes on each side, until they are brown.

You can either keep the pastries well covered with a damp cloth until your guests arrive and fry them on the spot while they watch, wide-eyed, or you can fry them ahead of time and pop them into the oven on a roasting rack over a baking sheet to warm up briefly (3–5 minutes) in a hot oven. Slice into rough rectangles or triangles and serve immediately. These certainly do not last long.

magazine durban

April 2014

23

resource

brilliant breakfast spots Start the morning at one of these fun, family breakfast spots in and around Durban.

Compiled by Tamlyn Vincent bellevue café

people’s park café

This comfy, casual bistro is well known for its delicious food. Chef and patron Chris Black has devised a diverse breakfast menu. There is fruit salad and homemade muesli, freshly baked banana bread or croissants, and various other vegetarian dishes. Or try the eggs Benedict, a full fry-up, or one of the other delicious breakfast or pastry options. additional treats There is plenty of outdoor seating to enjoy on a sunny morning. hours of operation Breakfast is served 7am–11:30am Monday–Friday and 8:30am–11:30am Saturday and Sunday. find them 5 Bellevue Rd, Kloof (behind the Delcairn Centre) contact 031 717 2780 or cafe@bellevuenet.co.za

Savour a scrumptious breakfast or sip on a coffee, while you enjoy the open surroundings and your children run free in the nearby play area. Based at the foot of the Moses Mabhida Stadium arch, you can enjoy the magnificent view from the deck. Breakfasts range from hearty meals like the full Stadium Breakfast to something lighter, such as Scrambled Eggs on a Croissant. There are also freshly baked muffins and scones, or a healthy breakfast option of fruit, sugar-free muesli and low-fat yoghurt, with nuts and seeds. additional treats There is free Wi-Fi access and free, secure parking. hours of operation Open 7am–6pm Tuesday–Sunday; breakfast is served 7am–11am. find them To access the parking, take Masabalala Yengwa Ave. Turn into the stadium at Battery Beach Rd and turn left into People’s Park. contact 031 303 5719, mbalis@mmsdurban.co.za or visit mmstadium.com

burnedale café Burnedale is a small centre on a farm in Umhlali. The venue is centred around a beautiful garden and has boutique shops and a small animal farm. The café’s breakfast menu is not fussy, with wholesome dishes. The Country Breakfast is ideal for the very hungry. additional treats There are trained staff and a sand-art table in the children’s play area, so parents can sit back and relax under the trees. hours of operation Open 8:30am–4:30pm daily; breakfast is served from 8:30am–11am. find them 1 Salt Rock Rd, Burnedale, Dolphin Coast contact 032 947 1980 or sonitis@telkomsa.net

Lucky Bean

lucky bean Based in Assagay, this venue is an indoor play barn and outdoor playground, giving parents the chance to relax in a child-friendly, safe environment while enjoying their breakfast. There is a range of options, including a Health Breakfast. Other choices include the Cheese Griller, The Farmyard, or the popular Savoury Mince on Toast. The menu caters for vegetarians and children, whose selection includes the Breakfast Dog. additional treats The coffee is excellent and parents can enjoy a cup while children play inside or outside, in the fantasy sheds or on the bike track. hours of operation Open 9am–4pm Tuesday–Sunday; breakfast is served all day. find them 10 Cadmoor Rd; take Old Main Rd up Botha’s Hill and turn left on Lello Rd. Turn left onto Cadmoor Rd contact 082 216 3892, info@luckybean.co or visit luckybean. co (no .za)

nonna Burnedale Café

food story deli At The Book Boutique in Amanzimtoti you can sit indoors on couches among the books or outside in the garden. At the Food Story Deli, choose from a range of breakfasts, including Camembert French Toast, an English Breakfast Croissant, or for the children, Green Eggs and Ham. The Toasted Biltong and Cheese Sandwich isn’t on the menu, but it’s very popular. additional treats Young ones can enjoy browsing the children’s books, under adult supervision, or there is a giant chalkboard outside. Plus there is a children’s story time every Saturday, at 10am. hours of operation Open 9am–5pm Monday–Friday and 9am–2pm Saturday. Breakfast is served 9am–11:30am. find them Take the Kingsway Rd offramp into Amanzimtoti and turn right. As Kingsway Rd splits, the left split becomes Rockview Rd. Look for 26 Rockview Rd contact 031 903 6692 or visit thebookboutique.co.za

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April 2014

This Victorian warehouse restaurant with its covered deck overlooks The Makaranga gardens in Kloof. Nonna offers contemporary Italian food and the breakfast menu includes an assortment of delicious options, from a Muesli Sundae or oats with a choice of toppings, to a Vegan Breakfast Bruschetta or several poached egg and hollandaise dishes. The children’s menu offers egg dishes as well as oats or muesli. additional treats The separate play area in the restaurant offers a range of art and crafts, or children can play on the jungle gym or in the rock garden below the restaurant. And when you’re finished, you can take a leisurely stroll through the beautiful gardens. hours of operation Open 6:30am–10pm Monday– Saturday, 6:30am–6pm Sunday; breakfast is served 6:30am–10:30am daily. find them 1A Igwababa Rd, Kloof contact 031 764 6616, info@makaranga.com or visit makaranga.com

People’s Park Café

sage café and deli Based in the Sage Centre in Salt Rock, this restaurant focuses on wholesome food, served in a friendly, relaxed environment. The menu uses fresh ingredients and has a variety of breakfasts to choose from. For something simple, try the Mushrooms on Toast or the Flapjacks.

The eggs Florentine options and the omelettes provide a heartier meal, while the Breakfast Smoothie and Sage Health Breakfast cater for the health-conscious. The children’s menu offers a selection of breakfasts, including Homemade Sausage. additional treats After breakfast, moms and dads can get pampered at Shine@Sage, or do some shopping, while children enjoy the play area and fantasy play houses. hours of operation Open 8am–4pm daily; breakfast is served 8am–11:30am find them 1 Old Fort Rd, Salt Rock. Take the Salt Rock turn off from the N2, and turn towards the beach. Turn right on Old Fort Rd contact 032 525 8059, sagecafe@telkomsa.net or visit sagecafe.co.za magazine durban

magazine durban

April 2014

25

calendar

what’s on in april

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see this month.

Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

1 tue

special events

27

FUN for children

27

only for parents

28

bump, baby & tot in tow

29

how to help

29

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Free face painting and Easter crafts Join in the fun activities at Mr Funtubbles on your play date.

A Handful of Keys Now celebrating its 20th year, this show highlights two superb musical talents.

Clamber Club This sensory motor programme gets children moving, learning and enjoying themselves.

Learners 2 Leaders The Robin Hood Foundation collects secondhand items to uplift community preschools.

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April 2014

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

uShaka Marine World turns 10 This April, celebrate 10 years of fun with uShaka Marine World’s finned, feathered and funky residents.

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 tuesday uShaka Marine World turns 10 With specials in April. Time: varies. Venue: 1 King Shaka Ave, Point. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za

2 wednesday A Handful of Keys With Ian von Memerty and Roelof Colyn. Ends 27 April. Time: 8pm Wednesday–Sunday, 3pm Saturday.

Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN, Glenwood. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com

4 friday Dear Breeder See a musical comedy about the joys and perils of raising a small child. Ends 6 April. Time: 8pm Friday and Saturday, 2pm and 6:30pm Sunday.

Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Ave, Umbilo. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

3pm Saturday–Monday. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

18 friday Easter Eggs at Lucky Bean Adults and children enjoy free Easter eggs. Ends 20 April. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: adults free, children R20.

Contact: 082 216 3892, info@luckybean. co or visit luckybean.co (no .za)

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science artSpace See landscapes and large-scale paintings. Time: 9am–5pm Monday– Friday, 9am–2pm Saturday. Venue: 3 Millar Rd, Stamford Hill. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit artspace-durban.com

Reserve, 90 Coedmore Ave, Yellowwood Park. Cost: R30. Contact Kathryn: 072 649 3618 or katambersaunders@hotmail.co.uk Children’s yoga Time: 3pm every Wednesday. Venue: Centre of Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R200 per month. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za Computer lessons Time: varies. Venue: suite 124 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R500 per month.

Contact: 031 566 1110, 073 966 0983 or umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za Study Skills course A 10-lesson course equips you to perform well in exams. 31 March–4 April. Time and venue: 9am–1pm: Kip McGrath Education Centre Umhlanga, 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr; 12:30pm–3pm: Kip McGrath Kloof, 8 Village Rd. Cost: varies. Contact Kloof: 031 764 0459, bilca@dbnmail.co.za or Umhlanga: 031 566 11110, 082 042 2556 or admin@ kipumhlanga.co.za or visit kipmcgrath.co.za

Durban Duck Day Thousands of rubber ducks race against each other. Part of the proceeds go towards the Quadpara Association of KZN. Time: tbc. Venue: Model Boat Pond, Blue Lagoon. Cost: R40 per duck. For more info: visit durbanduckday.co.za

10 thursday

The Animal Farmyard Daily milking demonstrations are scheduled and you have the chance to bottle-feed newborn animals.

Time: 9am–4:30pm daily, milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: entry R15, rides R5. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za

artSpace

Feed the Babies Fund annual Pamper breakfast Time: 7:30am–12pm. Venue: The Hilton Hotel, 12 Walnut Rd, Durban CBD. Cost: R230. Contact Ashvina: 031 201 4682, fundraising@feedthebabiesfund. org.za or visit feedthebabiesfund.org.za

17 thursday

classes, talks and workshops

Fairytale Rock Alistar and Farryl set out on a journey to find the princess, Ariana. Ends 21 April. Time: 8pm Thursday–Sunday,

Babes in the Wood Children 0–5 years old connect with nature. Time: 9am, every Thursday. Venue: Stainbank Nature

magazine durban

family outings

finding nature and outdoor play

Arty Stars Children 18 months–5 years old paint, draw, colour, sculpt, sponge, stamp, design jewellery, decorate cupcakes and make crafts from recycled waste. Time: 2:30pm–3:30pm Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Venue: Westville. Cost: R680 per term. Contact Kelly: 083 777 4578 or babybrightstars@gmail.com

12 saturday

The farm is home to over 1 000 rescued animals, and offers a milking show, play areas and a coffee shop. Time: daily milking show 12pm and 3pm. Venue: Sheffield Beach. Cost: R33 entry.

Contact: 032 947 2018

Books 2 You Discover hundreds of books.

Time: 10am–3pm, 11 April; 7:30am–12pm, 12 April. Venue: Forestview Primary. Also at Gordon Road Girls School, 14–15 April.

Cost: free entry. Contact Kathy: 031 705 7744 or orders@books2you.co.za Sugar Terminal Tours Booking essential.

Time: varies, Monday–Friday. Venue: 25 Leuchars Rd, Durban. Cost: adults R16, children R8. Contact: 031 365 8153, tourguide@sasa.org.za or visit sasa.org.za

5 saturday

New Shoots Pre-School open day For parents of children 3–6 years old. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: 34 Broadwood Dr, Umhlanga. Cost: free. Contact: 031 561 1835 or newshootspreschool@gmail.com

Flag Animal Farm

Kandies Kids holiday programme There are planned activities, meals and snacks. 28 March– 4 April. Time: 7am–5:15pm.

Venue: 5 Beachway St, Durban North. Cost: R120 per day.

Contact: 031 573 2210

holiday programmes Computers 4 Kids holiday workshops 31 March–8 April. Time: 9am–11am Monday–Wednesday, 12pm–2pm Monday– Friday. Venue: suite 124 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R140 per day. Contact: 031 566 1110 or 074 113 8364, umhlanga@computers4kids. co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za

April 2014

27

calendar

on stage and screen

2–4 April, and 29 and 30 April – Glide 2 Ride Holiday Mountain Biking Club

Free face painting and Easter crafts Have your face painted and make Easter crafts when you ride and play at Mr Funtubbles.

28 March–6 April and 18–21 April. Time: 11am–5pm. Venue: shop E047, Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: free. Contact: 031 584 6645, marketing@mrfuntubbles. co.za or visit mrfuntubbles.co.za Glide 2 Ride Holiday Mountain Biking Club This is ideal for children 4–11 years old. Bring bikes, costumes and towels.

Time: 8:30am–12pm. Venue: 2–4 April: Umhlanga College and Thomas More College, Kloof; 29 April: Giba Gorge; 30 April: Umhlanga College. Cost: R200 per session. Contact: 078 345 3864 or info@ singletrackminded.co.za Holiday Boot Camp Children 5–13 years old can take part in this two-day clinic.

1–2 April. Time: 8:30am–1:30pm. Venue: Boot Camp, Giba Gorge, Westmead. Cost: R250 per day, R400 both days. Contact: 082 782 6432, info@boot-camp.co.za or visit boot-camp.co.za Lucky Bean Indoor and outdoor children’s playground with coffee shop. See their Facebook page for free holiday activities.

Time: 9am–4pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: adults free, children R20. Contact: 082 216 3892, info@luckybean.co (no .za) or visit facebook.com/luckybeankids Mum’s Aide holiday club Children under 10 years old enjoy crafts, games, lunch and juice. 31 March–4 April. Time: 7:30am–5pm. Venue: Heatherbelle’s Cafe, 4 Swapo Rd, Durban North. Cost: half-day R120, full day R200. Contact: 078 617 2473 or tinalepan@mumsaide.com Perception Deception holiday programme Investigate what is real and what is illusion. 29 March–6 April. Time: 11:30am–2pm. Venue: The KZN Science

11 April – Rio 2

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April 2014

Centre, upper level, Gateway. Cost: R40.

Contact: 031 566 8040 or visit kznsc.org Sugar Bay camps These camps are recommended for children 7–17 years old. 30 March–6 April, 20–27 April and 27 April–4 May. Time: varies. Venue: Sugar Bay, Zinkwazi. Cost: R3 599. Contact: 032 485 3778, holidays@sugarbay.co.za or visit sugarbay.co.za UP-grade school workshops These cover junior primary activities or subjects for senior primary and high school. 1–5 April. Time: 9am–12pm and 1pm–4pm.

Venue: Up-grade, La Lucia Mall. Cost: from R200. Contact: 082 877 7161, brett@ up-grade.co.za or visit up-grade.co.za Virgin Active Holiday Club Club-V and Club V-Max keep children entertained and active through creative, fun, interactive programmes. Available to Virgin Active Club–V members. 31 March–4 April. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Virgin Active Health Clubs. Cost: varies. Contact: 0860 200 911 or visit virginactive.co.za

markets Essenwood Market This is a family favourite with entertainment for children.

Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Steven Dlamini Rd. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com I Heart market Local foodies and designers showcase their unique products.

5 April. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Stamford Hill.

Contact: thejoyteam@gmail.com or visit iheartmarket.blogspot.com The Play Market There’s an Easter egg treasure hunt and shopping. 12 April. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Giba Gorge Mountain Bike Park, Westmead. Cost: R10 entry to the park. Contact Derryn: 071 307 0823 or gotoplaymarket@gmail.com

Fairytale Rock Enjoy a theatrical concert experience. 17–21 April. Time: varies. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Rio 2 Blu, Jewel and their three children venture out of the city and into the Amazon for a family reunion. Out of his element, Blu must face his father-in-law while evading Nigel’s plans for revenge. Opens 11 April.

Time: varies. Venue: cinemas nationwide.

Cost: varies. For more info: visit numetro. co.za or sterkinekor.com

playtime and story time Children’s story time For children 3–8 years old. Time: 10am every Saturday.

Venue: 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti.

Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Lucky Bean Make the most of this indoor and outdoor children’s playground with coffee shop. Time: 9am–4pm Tuesday– Sunday. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay.

Cost: adults free, children R20. Contact: 082 216 3892, info@luckybean.co or visit luckybean.co (no .za)

sport and physical activities Parkrun Children and parents can run 5km against the clock. Once-off registration required. Time: 8am every Saturday. Venues: Durban Shongweni Club, Hillcrest or Suncoast Casino Promenade, North Beach.

Cost: free. Contact: shongwenioffice@ parkrun.com, northbeachoffice@parkrun. com or visit parkrun.co.za Taekwondo Tornados Children develop core strength. Time and venues: from 3:30pm every Wednesday, Westville Library; from 2pm every Tuesday, Hillcrest Library.

Cost: R130 per month. Contact: 082 876 0628 or tkdtornados@gmail.com

2–27 April – A Handful of Keys

Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: The School of Modern Montessori, 9 Anthony Dr, Gillitts.

Cost: varies. Contact: 071 183 4161 or sarahxevans@hotmail.com

on stage and screen A Handful of Keys A hilarious two-man piano show 2–27 April. Time: varies.

Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN, Glenwood. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Dear Breeder A quirky piece of musical comedy. 4–6 April. Time: varies. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Ave, Umbilo. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

support groups Choc – Childhood Cancer Foundation KZN For support and more info, contact: 086 111 2182, dbn@choc.org.za or visit choc.org.za

Shongololo Shakers

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Domestic workers cooking course The course covers meals, hygiene, time management and more. Begins 22 April.

Time: 8:30am–11am. Venue: Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof.

Cost: R1 000. Contact Meryl: 031 764 6577, meryl@merylschoolofcooking.co.za or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za Homeschooling your preschooler You can attend a free talk by educationalist and entrepreneur Dr Edwina Grossi.

12 April. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: Sibton Hill House, Ballito. Cost: free. Contact: 031 101 3263 or info@aohbl.com LifeLong Learning They offer talks and courses in current topics, including DIY and IT. Time: varies. Venue: varies. Cost: varies.

Contact Justine: 073 725 7381, info@lllkzn. net or visit lllkzn.net Physifun courses Health professionals can sign up for 12 and 13 April; teachers’ training is offered on 11 and 14 April.

Time, venue and cost: varies. Contact: 082 307 2337, natalie@physifun.co.za or visit physifun.org Pilates Precision Preggie Pilates is available by appointment. Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm,

This music and movement class is for children 0–5 years old. Time and venues: 11am every Tuesday, Cygnet Preparatory, Westville; 10:30am every Wednesday, Hillcrest Library; 9:30am and 3pm every Thursday, Room to Bloom, Durban North; 9am every Friday, Leaping Lizards, Gillitts. Cost: varies. Contact Corrine: 083 893 5155 or Beverley: 060 350 7323, info@shongololoshakers.co.za or visit shongololoshakers.co.za

magazine durban

it’s party time

Overeaters Anonymous Overcome compulsive overeating through meetings and shared experiences. Develop strength and hope in recovery. Contact: 083 409 8309 or visit oa.org.za Sadag For those suffering from depression or drug abuse or who may be suicidal. For more info or referral to a support group: visit sadag.org

For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Baby massage classes Suitable for moms and babies under 1 year old. Time: varies.

Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: 5-session course R600. Contact Eleanor: 084 821 6668 Blissful Bellies Pre- and postnatal yoga classes. Time varies. Venue: Bodyology, Hillcrest. Cost: R240 per month. Contact Isabel: 083 560 5390, info@blissfulbellies. co.za or visit blissfulbellies.co.za HypnoBirthing – The Mongan Method This five-week course prepares parents for calm births. Saturday and weekday evening classes available. Time: varies.

Venue: Cowies Hill, Westville. Cost: R1 800 per couple. Contact Callen: 082 538 1173 or callen.gerrits@gmail.com Preggie Power Join this group prenatal yoga class. Time: 4:30pm–5:30pm every Friday, 7am–8am every Saturday. Venue: 8 Sunny Circle, Sunningdale. Cost: four classes R350, drop in R100. Contact: 079 881 7199 or visit preggiepower.co.za Pregnancy yoga Time: 3:45pm every Wednesday. Venue: Centre for Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R200 per month. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za

playtime and story time Clamber Club Fun and interactive movement and stimulation classes for babies 8 weeks–12 months old, and children 1–4 years old. Time: varies. Venues: Ballito, Hillcrest and Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact Ballito: 076 222 2946, Hillcrest: 084 577 7630 or Kloof: 083 259 2746, or visit clamberclub.com

Clamber Club

Little Me moms and toddlers classes Fun, educational, messy play for moms and children 1–3½ years old. Time: varies. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R75. Contact Eleanor: 084 821 6668 or visit littleme.yolasite.com Moms and Babes and Moms and Tots workshops Programmes stimulate, develop skills and promote bonding.

Venues: Amanzimtoti, Berea, Durban North, Umhlanga and the Highway area. Cost: varies. For more info: visit momsandbabes. co.za or momsandtots.co.za

support groups Mothers 2 Baby For all moms who are finding motherhood challenging.

Time: 10am–11:30am, the third Thursday of every month. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, Kassier Rd. Cost: free. Contact clinical psychologist Hayley: 061 453 3718

how to help Learners 2 Leaders To uplift community preschools, they collect crayons, paint, paper, nonperishable foods, blankets, secondhand toys and books in good condition. Drop-off points are listed on their website. Contact: 076 612 9060 or visit robinhoodfoundation.co.za

Blissful Bellies

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za. Information must be received by 4 April for the May issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

magazine durban

April 2014

29

finishing touch

imagination

is a wonderful thing Being a grown-up isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

CASSANDRA SHAW explains the importance of “play”.

b

eing an only child until the age of nine, I remember having to come up with all sorts of creative games to play with my stuffed animals, dolls and toys. My parents would try to play with me when they had the chance, but I clearly remember wondering why they didn’t want to “play” for as long, or as often, as I did.

On a recent trip to Canada, we really noticed our son using his imagination a lot more than he normally does at home. He was in an unknown space, either in transit or in a different country, with unfamiliar surroundings and environments, new toys and for the most part a lot of adults. Naturally,

he had to find some way of entertaining himself. Sometimes I would hear him asking a question, and I’d mistakenly think he was directing it at me, only to be shot down with a response like, “No Mom, I wasn’t talking to you… I was talking to my dinosaur.”

It was also quite novel to see him play with some of my old toys that my mom had kept over the years. My Star Trek: The Next Generation action figures and shuttlecraft being his go-to favourites.

(Yes, yes, I know).

What I enjoyed most, was that he would be playing with these quite seriouslooking spacemen and women, but would also include a few of his cars, plastic

animals and some miniature figurines in his storyline. Occasionally he’d ask me to join in on the game but, in addition to a bit of stage fright, I was shocked to find that, despite my years of experience playing as a child, I was seriously lacking in the imagination department. So, I’d play for a few minutes before sheepishly getting up to do something a bit more “grown-up”.

Looking at him coming up with innocent, yet creative, scenarios and having so much fun doing it, really made me envious.

As an adult, I’d lost that drive to simply “play” 24/7 and I realised that when we grow up, we make a lot of necessary sacrifices when it comes to “play”. We

lose a bit of that energy and innocence; the idea that magic is all around us; the unwavering belief in beloved holiday figures like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy or simply the notion that our stuffed animals really do have feelings.

From now on, my goal is to sit down and try to play a lot more with my son. I need to practise how to “play” again. I’m a little bit rusty, and he clearly has a thing or two to teach me. And who better to spend my extra time with, and to learn from, than him? If only we hadn’t left my old action figures behind…

Cassandra still freezes when it comes to making dolls speak, but luckily she’s a pro with building blocks and racing cars.

family marketplace

30

April 2014

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: MENKE BONNEMA

Cassandra and her son

books

a good read for toddlers boris is our hero

Boris Saves the Show

By Carrie Weston and Tim Warnes (Published by Oxford University Press, R130) Miss Cluck has some exciting news for her class. There is going to be an end-of-term show. All the animals rehearse tirelessly and soon the day of the show arrives, but disaster strikes. Miss Webb and her nursery class, who should be coming to watch the show, are stuck in the mud. How will the show go on? Boris has an idea. He dashes out (in his superhero costume), saves the guests, and the curtain rises on a wonderfully entertaining show. And, of course, Boris is the hero of the story, both on and off the stage.

for early graders

(Published by Gecko Press, R222) The Dutch edition of this book, for children from the age of eight, won the prestigious Dutch Flag and Pennant Award. Dog is Wolf’s cousin. Wolf is Dog’s cousin.

That’s strange because Wolf is wild and Dog is tame. Wolf lives in a forest on top of a hill. Dog doesn’t. Dog has a basket and a boss. These hilarious stories are about the important things in life – like food, family and fleas. The beautifully constructed stories foster a sense of humour and acceptance of difference, all told in fun rhyme.

for preschoolers Mister Sengi’s Very Big Friend and Activity Book

By David du Plessis and Charles de Villiers (Published by Random House Struik, R72 and R50) This heart-warming bedtime story about an elephant-shrew, Mister Sengi, and his quest for greater stature, takes children on a magical moonlight tour through the bushveld. Encounters with animals carry the reader on to the fairy-tale ending. The activity book promotes recognition of shapes, patterns and sequences; develops hand-eye coordination; introduces numbers and letters; offers an assemble-it-yourself paper toy; imparts some basics on bushveld life, and generally fosters a high regard for nature.

Ev’s Adventures with Sleek Zeek and Fudge

By Claudette Barnes (Published by Kids in Books, from R275) These personalised storybooks bring books to life for children.

Stories take on a new meaning as younger children search the pages for his or her own name and discover pictures of themselves in the illustrated adventures. Every story is written with a special moral message. Also in the series is the My Very Own Reader storybooks. These innovative versions of the Kids in Books storybook range have been created especially for young children who are learning to read. The books are abridged versions of the traditional storybooks. The print style used closely matches that of a school child’s first reader. Visit their website to order and to see the range of stories and books available: kidsinbooks.co.za

for us Captive: The Story of the Cleveland Abductions

By Allan Hall (Published by Penguin, R105) This is the real story of one monster, three innocent girls and 10 years in captivity. On 22 August 2002, 21-year-old Michelle Knight disappears. On 21 April 2003, Amanda Berry goes missing the day before her 17th birthday. On 2 April 2004, 14-year-old Gina DeJesus fails to come home from school. For over a decade these girls remained undetected in a house just five kilometres from the block where they all went missing, held captive by a terrifying sexual predator; tortured, starved and raped, and kept in chains. Michelle, Amanda and Gina fell victim to the dark obsessions that drove Ariel Castro to kidnap and enslave them. Based on exclusive interviews with witnesses, psychologists, family and police, this is an unflinching record of a truly shocking crime in a very ordinary neighbourhood.

explore the city

Wolf and Dog

By Sylvia vanden Heede and Marije Tolman

Treasure Hunting at the Company’s Garden

By Donnaleen Coue (Published by TD Harry Advertising, R95 excl. postage) We first met our two friends in the book, The Magic of Kirstenbosch, and now Ami and Ziggy are spending a day at the Company’s Garden.

They are on a treasure hunt in search of Isi Squirrel’s golden acorn. Their quest takes them on a space mission at the planetarium after the fish in the koi pond tell them they saw something bright in the sky. The Egyptian geese direct them to the museum, where Ami and her friends embark on a fossil hunt. And then a garden spider steers them to the National Gallery. To order the book, visit: amiandziggy.co.za

for preteens and teens Lockwood & Co. – The Screaming Staircase

By Jonathan Stroud (Published by Hyperion Books, R222) A sinister problem has occurred in London: all nature of ghosts, haunts, spirits and spectres are appearing throughout the city, and they aren’t exactly friendly. Only young people have the psychic abilities required to see and eradicate these supernatural foes. Many different psychic detection agencies have cropped up, and they are in fierce competition for business. The plucky and talented Lucy Carlyle teams up with Anthony Lockwood, the leader of Lockwood & Co, a small agency that runs independently of any adult supervision. Lucy, Anthony and George, are forced to take part in the perilous investigation of Combe Carey Hall. The book is suitable for children from the age of nine to 12.

parenting book

you’re not alone

Reasons My Kid is Crying

By Greg Pembroke (Published by Pan Macmillan, R157) The book of the smash-hit Tumblr blog, “Reasons My Son is Crying”, features toddlers from around the world in the midst of apocalyptic meltdowns. As author Greg Pembroke tells it, “this book started when I posted a few pictures online of my 21-month-old son, Charlie, in mid-tantrum.” Reasons My Kid is Crying features hilarious photographs of adorable children from around the world, having “a moment”, with a caption about the minor event that triggered it.

For any burned-out parent who thinks that their child is the only one who loses it over the smallest of things, this book is also a reminder that not every toddler tantrum is a tragedy, and that it’s okay to laugh at the insanity of it all.