Child Magazine | Durban August 2013

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

outside

the box

how to raise a young entrepreneur

free spirit

giving children creative space protecting your baby from

BPA

education how good is your child’s general knowledge?

www.childmag.co.za

August 2013

free

health

education

entertainment

In this issue we focus on education; on giving our children the freedom to acquire knowledge and experience in diverse and creative ways. With this freedom comes the responsibility to make the most of the opportunities that come our way.

How good is your general knowledge?

More importantly, how good is your child’s? Mine isn’t great. And my children have experienced a few embarrassing moments playing Trivial Pursuit. One of them (no names mentioned) described Tokyo Sexwale as “a large mammal, hailing from Japan”. She had no idea that he is a prominent political and business figure.

In an attempt to improve their general knowledge, I’ve managed to get both my daughters to read at least one article from the newspaper every day. We may not be ready to enter the next Trivial Pursuit World Series, but our collective general knowledge is steadily improving.

We work quite well as a team now. Robyn, having read the entire Percy Jackson series, can answer any question related to Greek mythology; Julian handles the

entertainment side; my husband is a wizz on sport and history; and that leaves me with philosophy and all things literary.

I asked Marc, our dad blogger and online guy, to suggest ways to improve children’s general knowledge. In “it’s what you know” (page 20) he gives six fun ways to do this, all of which I plan to explore, as his research confirms that “new information can only be retained when it attaches itself to existing knowledge”.

It’s all about making learning fun.

If you love the magazine, you’ll love our website. Visit us at childmag.co.za

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Cassandra Shaw • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za

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August 2013

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contents august 2013

upfront 3 a note from lisa 6 over to you readers respond

9 pregnancy news – swimming in front Marc de Chazal looks at male infertility

10 best for baby – the latest buzz on BPA Hayley Komen says

features 16 set them free children learn more while engaging in creative play.

By Bianca Wright

18 discipline wars conflict over parenting styles can leave parents feeling frustrated and isolated, says Françoise Gallet

20 it’s what you know improving your child’s general knowledge will benefit them in all walks of life.

Marc de Chazal explains why and how

it’s still the best advice to keep your baby away from products containing BPA

14 dealing with difference Lucille Kemp gives you fun excercises to improve your child’s fine motor skills

22 resource – a business plan Child magazine explores ideas on how to raise a budding entrepreneur

23 good reads new books for the whole family

health

24 what’s on in august

12 hormones and your child’s health Vanessa Papas looks at the possible health risks

30 finishing touch Anél Lewis learns in the time-out corner that she also has to keep her temper under control

regulars

classified ads

8 upfront with paul sometimes we’re

29 let’s party

the ones embarrassing our children, says Paul Kerton

29 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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August 2013

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

St Mary’s School, Waverley grahamdelacy.com

Jean Bourget Photo: Olivier Ribardière Jelli Children’s Boutique

Posh Little Ones poshlittleones.co.za

Jean Bourget Photo: Olivier Ribardière Jelli Children’s Boutique

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August 2013

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letters

over to you a response to “beyond the mainstream” (May 2013) There is another alternative to the South African school curriculum which your magazine failed to mention. Thousands of bright, ambitious children from international and local families are studying the Cambridge International Curriculum here in our beautiful country.

Based on the British National curriculum but of a higher standard, the Cambridge curriculum is available in South Africa at a variety of international schools at both primary and secondary level as well as via home schooling or distance learning. There are even one or two South African schools who use aspects of it to enhance their teaching.

With a focus on English language skills, maths and science, the curriculum leads to high quality qualifications (Checkpoint, IGCSE, AS and A Levels), which are accepted for further study in every country in the world including South Africa. Students with these qualifications excel at university in their professions and in business worldwide,

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August 2013

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

because the curriculum develops students who are skilled, confident and responsible.

Teachers working in this curriculum find it stimulating and rewarding and are amazed at the level expected of children studying via the Cambridge curriculum and, at how well they meet these high standards.

CM Oshry, Dean of Colleges, British International Colleges

thanks Child magazine Glynis Horning did a brilliant, sensitive job with her article, “coping with childhood cancer” (July 2013). We sincerely appreciate the exposure this article has given children with cancer and inadvertently Choc.

Agie Govender, Choc KZN

cake-making fun a response to “naming rights” (July 2013) I had a good giggle after reading Paul Kerton’s column. I am a teacher and Paul commented about names which are “trendy.” I go back a few years now and share with you my absurd class list at the time. I had a Mikhale, a Michael, a Michaela, a MacKayla, a Kayla, a Talya and a Taylor.

Thank goodness I was younger then so I was able to (most of the time) remember who was who and call them by the correct name. However, as age has crept up, I’m not sure I would manage at all now.

Teacher

I put the cake inspiration in your May issue to use for my boy’s first birthday. Thank you for sharing. I was looking for an easy cake to make, and this Lamington train worked like a charm!

Tammi subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competition.

To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

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upfront with paul

too embarrassing If your children refuse to be seen with you, then maybe you

b

e honest. Are you an embarrassing parent? Maybe you don’t even know it, having never had the time to scrutinise the handbook of cool parenting, if indeed there is one.

Clue: do your children ask to be dropped off in Pretoria when the school is in Joburg? Do they walk behind you – about six kilometres behind – while you’re trying to talk to them? Do they say things like “There’s no way you’re taking me to Suzy’s party dressed like THAT!” And do they cringe and jump out of the car when you sing along to an Elvis Presley song on the radio? They do? Sorry, but we need to talk.

Some “experts” think that parents only become embarrassing when children become teenagers. Wrong! Children know as early as three years old whether or not you are a) fun to be around with, b) a stickler for out-dated rules, c) a major fail in the kudos department, or worst of all d) a can’t-stand-to-see-anyone-having-fun killjoy, because the world (well your world) is “oh so serious”. Lighten up, won’t you.

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August 2013

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

Yes, bringing up children is a serious business, fraught with all sorts of potential disaster and domestic danger and yes, there are so many things that can go wrong. Children can get ill and fall over and not do well at school and, and, and… the list is “and-less”. And here comes the big but; relax, because you can cook and wash, ply them with gadgets and drive them all over the place, but a stressed out, miserable, bitter-and-twisted parent is an ineffective parent. Above all, they’re embarrassing.

A recent survey found that dads are the most embarrassing offenders with 80 percent of 13 to 21 year olds claiming their dad embarrassed them all the time by wearing out-of-date and dishevelled clothes, singing loudly to the radio and acting childish in public.

Me? I used to be a cool dad until hair started growing out of my ears and nose faster than it was on my head. Thing is, you have to be aware of developments like this that affect your cool cred and find a solution –

I bought a trimmer. That’s nose trimmer not garden Strimmer…

The most embarrassing thing about South African dads, I’ve noticed, is their footwear. They rarely get the right shoes to fit the occasion or match their clothes, like clumpy hiking boots with a smart business suit. Or pointy toes that, after a couple of weeks, curl up like Persian slippers. I could write a book.

Luckily daughters keep their mothers well in check to avoid wardrobe malfunctions and fashion fails. Don’t wear too bright a shade of lipstick, especially post-box red or too much perfume, strictly no side-boob and don’t do anything considered “whacky” with your hair like putting six chopsticks through a bun. If you’ve already committed sartorial suicide and fallen into the trap of dressing in the same onesie/slop-pants/tracksuit everyday, because you’re “only popping down the road” to pick up the children, and don’t care anymore; think of them. They care very much.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

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PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

should take a long, hard look in the mirror, says Paul Kerton.

pregnancy news

swimming in front Most men suffering from infertility will be able to have children with treatment. By MARC DE CHAZAL

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

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f you’re struggling to conceive, there’s an equal chance that the problem lies with either one of you.

It’s a misconception that infertility affects mainly women. Dr Merwyn Jacobson, a specialist in reproductive medicine at Vitalab infertility clinic in Sandton, says male infertility accounts for nearly one half of all infertility cases in South Africa, which has the lowest fertility rate in subSaharan Africa.

There are two categories an infertile couple can fall into.

Primary infertility is when a couple is unable to conceive after at least one year of frequent, unprotected sex – or for at least six months if the woman is 35 or older. Secondary infertility, on the other hand, is when a couple cannot conceive a second child after 12 months of unprotected sex.

Infertility problems can occur at any stage of conception, which includes the release of an egg from a woman’s ovaries, the egg moving through the fallopian tube, a man’s sperm joining with the egg along the way and the fertilised egg attaching itself to the inside of the uterus. A lot needs to happen for conception to be successful, but a low sperm count, or none at all, is still one of the main reasons a couple will fail to fall pregnant.

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“Sperm-related problems result from either too much or too little of the hormones required to produce sperm,” explains Dr Herman Netshidzivhani, a fertility specialist who runs the Netcare Park Lane Fertility Centre in Joburg. “Low sperm count can also be triggered by heat exposure, such as hot baths, or by wearing tight underwear and sitting for long periods. Obese men can become sterile because sagging fat layers can overheat the testicles,” he adds.

Research also shows that smoking more than 20 cigarettes a day reduces both the sperm count and sperm mobility. Alcohol consumption may inhibit the production of sperm, as will exposure to toxic chemicals and the use of anabolic steroids. Also keep in mind that fertility does gradually decrease in men who are older than 40.

improve your chances “One in four South African couples diagnosed with infertility is eventually able to conceive with treatment,” says Netshidzivhani. In the case of male infertility, a semen analysis will determine the number, activity and shape of the sperm. Your doctor will advise you of the best options to improve your chances of conceiving, which may include

a course of antibiotics to heal infection, fertility drugs to improve sperm production, or surgery in the case of a reverse vasectomy, removing a varicocele or repairing a duct obstruction.

More complicated male infertility problems such as reduced sperm mobility can be treated by Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), a procedure which places washed sperm directly into the uterus via a small catheter. “Today, in even the most difficult of male infertility cases, the direct injection of sperm into eggs in a procedure called Intra Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI) can now significantly improve the likelihood of pregnancy,” explains Jacobson.

Other treatments include electro-ejaculation for patients with spinal cord injuries, epididymal sperm aspiration for men with absent or blocked ducts, and hormone replacement for individuals with pituitary deficiencies.

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best for baby

the latest buzz on BPA Plastic food packaging is said to be 100 percent BPA-free in South Africa, but when it comes

wo years ago South Africa placed a ban on the import, export, sale and manufacture of BPA in all baby-feeding containers. Yet, despite the ban, some retailers were exposed for selling baby bottles containing BPA towards the end of 2012. So how can consumers be sure they’re buying BPA-free products, and does it really matter?

BPA, or Bisphenol A, is a chemical used to make polycarbonate plastics and epoxy. Once commonly used in food packaging, it has since been found to be toxic, especially to babies. When a BPA baby bottle is steam sterilised or when baby formula is mixed with hot water, the release of BPA could be increased by 50 percent inside the bottle.

While it’s clear that BPA is toxic, experts disagree about whether the amount we’re exposed to in our everyday lives is dangerous. The controversy stems from

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August 2013

BPA’s delinquent behaviour. Most toxins have clear effects such as asbestos, which causes lung cancer. But BPA is an endocrine disruptor, which means it changes how our hormones function, specifically oestrogen, and as such the effects are not clear.

We could be setting up breast cancer in a baby before it’s born, then exacerbating the problem by giving milk containing BPA after birth.

Dr Carl Albrecht, executive manager of research at Cansa, says new research, predominantly in the field of endocrinology, is using more advanced technology to study extremely low concentrations of BPA. Results show

that the level of BPA that is dangerous could be up to 100 times lower than previously thought. “We could be setting up breast cancer in a baby before it’s born, then exacerbating the problem by giving milk containing BPA after birth,” he says.

According to the Environmental Working Group (EWG), a high profile USA environmental health research and advocacy organisation, BPA can alter the behaviour of more than 200 genes. It’s been linked to abnormal foetal development, prostate and breast cancer, miscarriage, immune system dysfunction, diabetes, weight problems, heart disease, anxiety and testicular abnormalities in boys and puberty in girls younger than eight. A February 2013 report from the Columbia Center for Children’s Environmental Health in the USA furthermore showed a link between early childhood exposure to BPA and a higher risk of asthma in young children.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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to the health of your baby, it’s still better to take precautions, says HAYLEY KOMEN.

The effects are especially dangerous to babies. Albrecht says children younger than one year do not yet have the enzymes needed to process BPA. What’s more, babies consume about 10 times more food in relation to their body weight than adults do and, unlike adults, their diet is not varied. As such, if there’s BPA in their milk, babies consume lots of it, all day long.

This is why the ban, both locally and in other parts of the world, first focused on baby feeding products.

However, many people don’t realise that BPA is also found in other everyday products. Monya Vermaak, marketing and communications executive for Plastics SA, says BPA contributes to consumer comfort and has become indispensable. “It is used in safety glasses, visors and lenses, CDs and DVDs, computers, kitchen appliances, power tools and sport equipment, because no other material has the same safety components,” she says.

Of particular concern is that it can also be found in thermal invoicing paper (till and ATM slips) and in the epoxy resin linings found inside canned foods, including most baby formula tins.

Yet Albrecht believes the “war” on BPA has been won and that now the question is how to deal with its presence in our environment. “Research is already under way in South Africa to find an alternative to BPA for lining canned foods. But it takes about five years to conclude the tests, because they need to see if the alternative formulation will seal the cans effectively over time,” he says. As such, banning BPA across the board can’t be done overnight.

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Cansa’s concern about thermal invoicing paper is mostly for pregnant women working at tills and who are exposed to more BPA than the average person. The organisation is planning research to determine the amount of BPA in till workers’ bodies compared to other staff. If the levels turn out to be of concern, they will explore effective hygiene measures with supermarket managers. This could include till workers washing their hands more frequently or even wearing gloves.

recognising BPA products In 1988 the Society of the Plastics Industry (SPI) developed an international coding system for the identification of different types of plastic polymers. The main purpose was to support recycling initiatives, but it’s also a useful pointer for consumers who are trying to avoid BPA. Plastic products should feature a triangular symbol with a number between 1 and 7, together with letters identifying the type of polymer. It’s the number 7 combined with the letters “PC” in particular that indicate the presence of BPA, since PC refers to polycarbonate. If there’s no symbol one should assume that the plastic contains BPA or other risky chemicals.

avoiding BPA in baby products Vermaak says that while the National Regulator screens certain products for Compulsory Specifications (NRCS) or South African Bureau of Standards (SABS), the ultimate responsibility for ensuring that baby products do not contain BPA lies with the retailer.

make sure While Monya Vermaak, marketing and communications executive for Plastics SA assures consumers that plastic food packaging in South Africa, including baby bottles, is 100 percent BPA free, parents can further ensure their baby’s exposure is limited by following a few guidelines: • Breast-feed your baby for as long as possible, if possible.

• Avoid canned foods when feeding your older baby.

• Use glass feeding and storage bottles or polypropylene bottles that are labelled “5” and contain the letters “PP”.

• If a baby product contains a triangle with the number “7” and letters “PC”, avoid it.

• Even if the label says “BPA free”, check the product itself to make sure it does not contain polycarbonate. Baby bottles that are crystal clear and hard are likely to contain BPA. Rather choose a more pliable, slightly opaque bottle.

• If there is no triangular symbol on the product, again check that it is slightly pliable and opaque, otherwise rather avoid it.

• Don’t microwave foods in plastic containers except for those specifically made for microwave use. These should again contain the triangular symbol with “5” and “PP”.

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health

hormones and your child’s health

w

hen one hears the words “growth hormones in food”, it’s easy to visualise giant cows, towering corn and rivers of milk. While hormones occur naturally in plants, animals and humans, it’s concerning when synthetic hormones are added to the foods our children eat.

According to Cape Town nutritional therapist, Megan Bosman, studies have shown growth hormones added to certain foods can affect your child’s development and wellbeing. “One of the biggest concerns is that synthetic hormones can bring on early puberty in children. This is especially evident in girls as they are starting to menstruate at a much younger age,” says Bosman.

“Other studies have shown certain growth hormones can also cause breast enlargement in boys. Synthetic

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hormones are the centre of concern when it comes to illnesses linked to high oestrogen levels, like breast cancer, fibroids, ovarian cancer and prostate cancer.

Oestrogen in excess can also cause weight gain, as growth in oestrogen-sensitive tissue leads to increased fat tissue. What some parents may not realise is that in addition to synthetic hormones added to meat and milk, soya contains high amounts of oestrogen, and there are also chemicals that mimic oestrogen in food called xenoestrogens, which are found in plastics, chemical sprays and fertilisers.”

The majority of meat consumed in South Africa has added hormones, which are given to animals to make them gain weight faster, thus producing meat products for consumers at a faster rate.

“For decades in South Africa, almost all abattoir meat has been produced with the aid of hormones, and it is known to be a completely safe practice,” says the Food Advisory Consumer Service (FACS), a resource that provides consumers with scientifically correct information on food and nutrition issues. FACS is administered by the South African Association for Food Science and Technology – a non-profit organisation for food scientists and other technical food professionals.

FACS explains that there are four anabolic steroids (hormones) commonly used in promoting the growth of animals – two naturally occurring and two synthetic hormones. When used as recommended, these hormones are safe for both the animal and the final consumer. “In the meat industry, hormones are used only for a short period

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

Synthetic hormones added to the foods we eat have always been a sensitive topic. Vanessa Papas explores the possible health risks and ways to minimise your child’s exposure to them.

while the animal is being fattened on a feedlot. In feedlots, for example, a 10-month-old steer or heifer of 200kg receives an ear implant that contains hormones. After about 100 days of feeding, the animal has grown to 400kg, when it is ready for slaughter. The implants promote improved conversion of feed into muscle by up to 20 percent and also ensure that our abattoir meat has a low fat content. Without the use of hormones, bovines require about three years to achieve slaughter weight, whereas here the aim is to slaughter animals at 18 to 24 months old for improved farming efficiency. In most cases, our legislation has set the allowed limits lower than those required internationally. The use of hormones in red meat production is permitted and controlled by the Department of Agriculture, which means that products and usage levels are known and residues can be monitored.”

Nathalie Mat, associate dietician at MME Dietitians in Bryanston, Gauteng, says one of the most frequently asked questions is whether eating meat from hormone-treated animals increases the risk of girls developing breast cancer as adults. “While some studies have found certain synthetic hormones in meat may exert some effects on health issues like breast cancer, testicular cancer, obesity, diabetes, glucose intolerance and high cholesterol, one should be wary of attributing blame to the chemicals in the food chain.

Considering two thirds of South Africans are overweight or obese, and this is one of the main contributing factors to the above-listed conditions, one should first address the likely calorie imbalance that leads to weight gain before pointing fingers at the miniscule input that any contaminants are likely to have.”

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In addition to meat production, hormones are also used to increase milk production in animals. As milk is an important part of your child’s diet, providing them with calcium and muscle-building proteins, should parents worry about the added hormones in milk and milk products? Cows naturally produce a hormone called Bovine Somatotropin (BST) that helps them produce milk.

In order to increase milk production, some farmers inject their dairy cows with a genetically engineered drug called Recombinant Bovine Somatotropin (rBST). Although legal in South Africa, rBST is banned in Japan, Canada, Australia and the European Union, and has been linked to increased rates in colon, breast and prostate cancer.

“We believe that raw milk should not contain any added hormones,” says Anneke Smalman, senior liaison officer at Clover, a company that produces milk that is free of any hormones or traces of antibiotics. “We do more than 60 tests on our fresh milk before it reaches the consumer to ensure that it’s safe for human consumption. Clean raw milk from organic grass-fed cows contains only the precisely balanced trace amounts that are naturally occurring, providing your child with the best source of nutrients nature has to offer.”

did you know?

Hormone compounds are not just found in food, but are also present in water, soil, cosmetics, cleaning products and food packaging.

guide for parents By avoiding hormone-treated meat and dairy products, you can limit your child’s exposure to synthetic hormone chemicals.

• S tart your own vegetable garden using organic seeds.

• Choose lean meat cuts and remove any visible fat before cooking.

• Choose wholegrain foods.

• C hoose products labelled “no hormones administered”.

• C ook meats well, without burning or charring them.

• Choose free range/organic meats that have not been treated with hormones.

• Avoid processed foods as they often contain synthetic hormones.

• Avoid the use of plastics, especially when heating and freezing food as these contain xenoestrogens.

• Wash fruit and vegetables before eating them as some chemical sprays and fertilisers contain xenoestrogens.

• Larger containers reduce the surface-to-volume ratio, which means less food comes into contact with the container. This also reduces the migration of chemicals in packaging to food. * Above tips provided by Gauteng dietician Careen Geldenhuys

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dealing with difference

From as early on as infancy, a child’s fine motor skills help their interactions with the world and, as they get older, provide building blocks to developing early literacy, numeracy and self-help skills such as independent dressing and going to the toilet – especially important by the time they’re attending “big school”.

In their early primary school years, children continue to use their fine motor skills to assist in developing literacy and numeracy as well as to help perform more complex functions such as art, craft and construction activities using computers, playing musical instruments, drawing, writing and typing. Referring to research King notes, “Children in Grades 2, 4 and 6 are required to spend up to 60 percent of their school day performing fine motor tasks, and 85 percent of these tasks involve paper-and-pencil-type fine motor functions.”

Fine motor skills proficiency greatly affects a child’s everyday experience in the classroom with one such area being handwriting. And before you jump up and yell “Relevance in the age of the iPad?”, King points out that there is still value in having handwriting skills. Research has revealed that four year olds who spent time copying letters using a writing utensil made significant gains on a letter recognition assessment compared to four year olds who used a touchscreen or keyboard to type the letters.

James*, a boy in Grade 2, found handwriting so difficult that he would often tune out and stare into space and seldom wrote more than a sentence on his own. He also lacked good postural control, due to low muscle tone, and often supported the side of his head with his hand. He worked on prescribed activities at home and after four months of OT, his mom and teacher are happy with the progress. He holds his pencil in a more functional grip and is writing more on his own; he even spontaneously wrote neatly in a Mother’s Day card. The results from the sessions also mean James won’t need to repeat Grade 2.

the best intervention is prevention

In a world where efficient fine motor functions are no longer incidental in a child’s development, ensure you have them doing exercises that encourage these skills before they start schooling. By LUCILLE KEMP

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tereotypically, occupational therapist (OT) Ingrid C King has found, children’s fine motor skills – small coordinated movements, of the hands and fingers, which control tools and materials – develop consistently from birth through to mid-primary school.

King realised, however, that many Grade R children can’t perform the most basic of fine motor functions such as cutting with scissors or opening a clothes peg.

So what is hindering this otherwise typical development? As we by now know, in the space of six decades, technology overall has allowed a child’s lifestyle to become rather sedentary – playing on smartphones and gaming has replaced tree climbing and ball-playing, and lift clubs have replaced bicycle riding and walking to friends’ houses.

As a result of these lifestyle changes, many more children today do not have sufficient opportunities to optimally develop their motor skills before they begin formal schooling.

“I am sure you would see a different picture if you visited the townships and rural areas, where children are very active and have greater freedom to run, climb and play outdoors,” says Sheva Messias, principal of King David Pre-Primary School in Linksfield, Joburg.

effects on learning “Studies have shown that fine motor abilities are forecasters for later academic achievement and one particular study in 2013 found that four year olds who demonstrated good scores on fine motor writing tasks are more likely to excel academically in primary school,” says King. This affirms that the importance of having children with well-honed fine motor skills goes beyond being able to proficiently perform everyday tasks such as fastening buttons, tying shoelaces and using cutlery.

A little girl in Grade 1 named Julia* paid weekly OT visits over three terms as she wasn’t keeping up with the rest of her class in handwriting, cutting and colouring. Presumably due to the anxiety brought on by falling behind and not coping, Julia also complained often of a sore stomach and didn’t want to go to school. “We worked together on strengthening the muscles in her hand, fingers and wrist as well as improving the coordination of her writing fingers and her letter formation. Julia’s confidence was eventually restored; she was keeping up with her peers and enjoying going to school with no more tummy troubles,” says King.

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fun that develops Get them to hold a spray bottle in their first three fingers and get them to spray off shaving foam patterns, which have been drawn onto the shower walls; children also like cleaning windows and popping bubbles.

Collect a variety of squeeze toys such as soft balls, koosh balls and animal toys with tongues that “pop out when you squeeze them”. Don’t forget the good old-fashioned, jointed wooden animals, whose body parts move when children depress the base with their thumbs. They also love good-quality balloons filled with play dough with funny faces drawn on. Encourage your child to squeeze and manipulate them until their hands are tired. Use them in the car to make travel times more productive and fun.

Use clothes pegs (the kind with a spring) and teach your child to hold the peg between the pads of their thumb and index fingers (add in the middle finger if it will fit) and tuck the other fingers into their palm. Once they have got this grip, they can play “singing peg” (opening and closing the peg while they sing along to a song. They can also sing the ABC. Use the pegs to pick up plastic items that float and sink in the bath, for example bottle lids. You can also draw letters or numbers inside with a permanent marker to add to the educational value of the activity.

Cut strips of different coloured crepe paper into pieces (7cm by 3cm). Hold both ends of a strip between the thumb, index and middle fingers, then scrunch the strip as small as possible (you can also get them to roll it further using the first three fingers of the dominant hand). *Names have been changed Information courtesy of Ingrid C King

resource OTs in your area visit childmag.co.za/resources/healthcare-practitioners online assistance • love2learnandgrow.com • ot-mom-learning-activities.com • loveplayandlearn.com recommended reading • Play Learn Know by Dr Melodie de Jager and Liz Victor (Metz Press) • Sensible Stimulation by Marga Grey (Metz Press) • Time2Play by Leana Weideman Matodes (Crink Publishing Consultant) • Am I Ready for School? Smartkids (Pearson)

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PHOTOGRAPHS: ST JOHN’S COLLEGE / Ingrid C King / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

the primary work of a child is play

King notes, “According to theories of motor learning, to acquire a new skill, daily practise is needed and to refine a skill, practise three times a week is ideal.” Parents with preschool children should aim to spend 15 minutes a day doing fun fine motor tasks with their child, which includes drawing, colouring and cutting using scissors. King concludes, “Your child needs you to go outside and fly a kite with you. They want you to sing and play games with them and they want your eye contact and attention. Your child needs your help to develop their minds and bodies.” Here are a few ways to start:

magazine durban

August 2013

15

your child’s life

t

oo often the screen or other structured activities replace the free play that is the potting soil of creativity in young children. Instead of taking time to play with our children, we direct them to the TV or computer to keep them busy. Made-up games, hours spent building vehicles and structures, fantasy stories acted out with dolls and action figures – all of these are the building blocks for a child’s imagination. Yet, while for most of us creativity and childhood go hand in hand, alarming evidence has shown that children are less creative today than they were a generation ago.

set them

free Don’t stifle your children’s creative play, as this is when they are doing most of their learning. By BIANCA WRIGHT

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August 2013

An American study by Kyung-Hee Kim, a professor of education at the College of William and Mary in Virginia, noted a continuous decline in creativity among schoolchildren over the last two or three decades. Kim compared scores on a creative-thinking test collected from normative samples of kindergarten children up to twelfth grade over several decades. Her analyses show that the scores on these tests at all grade levels began to decline somewhere between 1984 and 1990 and have continued to decline ever since. While South African studies are lacking, similar results have been found in studies in other parts of the globe. The main culprit seems to be technology.

A study commissioned by Hobbycraft in 2012 found that a third of parents in the United Kingdom who were surveyed regret giving their children game consoles, cellphones and computers, yet 43 percent admit they often give in and let them play or watch what they want for the sake of peace. In an article in the Daily Mail, Emma Kenny, a media psychologist, warns of the impact of these techno-babysitters. “It is important to consider the longer-term effects a lack of creative activities in childhood can have, with lack of concentration, and patience becoming increasingly evident as well as a lack of problem-solving skills which creative activity helps develop.”

In a review of 17 studies about the link between watching television and creative thought in children, researchers concluded that watching TV reduced creative imagination among children of a wide range of ages, most of whom were older than age six.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

a downward trend

creative play Children are creative because they are not bound by the constraints of reality and logic. Psychologist Alison Kuit, now based in the UK, says, “This allows the lounge carpet to become a flying carpet that takes them to magical places, or a tea towel to become a bright and beautiful butterfly coming to rest on a lovely flower. Play and creativity are not just ways to pass the time; they are how children learn, make sense of their world, learn to solve problems and even to find (their) identity.” She emphasises the importance of nurturing creativity within children and allowing them to explore the possibilities around them.

It’s not that television or computer use is all bad; rather it’s a matter of moderation and ensuring that children have the freedom and the desire to use their imaginations and be creative. Creativity comes in many forms, from creative approaches to baking and art to free play that encourages the development of problem-solving skills. Parents play a vital role in shaping a child’s experience of the world and by consequence of the way they play. Too much monitoring, evaluation and direction from a parent can stifle creativity. The point of creative play is that there is no right way to do it.

pressure points The intense pressure that parents feel to ensure that their child is developing at appropriate levels can actually negatively impact on a child’s creative intuition. “Our society and culture has become obsessed with education,” Kuit warns. “We measure success by how quickly our children move through developmental stages. Parents compare how early their child walked, talked and could name colours and shapes.”

The result, she says, is that play has to be “educational”, with parents and caregivers governing the play to meet the educational outcomes. “This means that from early on, children learn that there is a right and a wrong way to do something, to see something, to play with something. We correct our children when they ‘incorrectly’ name a lemon a ball. We have them watch DVDs that promise to lay down the early foundations for reading and writing at the age of six months. Encouraging creativity is encouraging self-exploration.”

Port Elizabeth-based psychologist, Kerry Phillips White, adds that there really is a need for creativity to come from a place of stillness. “Our children have to be encouraged to find their own creativity in a place of quiet without TV, music, computer games and cellphones. Children need to learn to discern their own creative voice amid the constant bombardment of ideas.” The key is balance. Education is important, but so is freedom, flexibility and creative thought. Providing children with different kinds of stimuli to encourage all aspects of the child’s development, including creativity, is one way that parents can ensure that they nourish the whole child. As Kuit says, “Turn off the TV, silence the adult logic, get down on the floor or into the sandpit and play.”

magazine durban

creating creativity UK teacher, Sarah Boone, offers these tips for nurturing creativity in your child: • Play “what if”. Children of all ages love to imagine possibilities. The questions can be as silly as “What if the moon really was made of green cheese?” or as serious as “What if apartheid did not come to an end in 1994?”. There are no wrong answers, and the responses often lead to further “what ifs”.

• Learn to look. Go beyond the adjectives commonly used to describe people, places and things. Ask your children what they associate with such things.

• Introduce new experiences. Breaking down stereotypes involves comparing preconceived notions with actual experiences. Have your children describe what they think a certain culture’s religion or food might be like, then allow them to experience it in some way, comparing their expectations with their discoveries.

New experiences suggest different questions and lead to more possibilities.

• Experiment. Be willing to tolerate a little messiness while family members experiment with new flavours and original recipes, create new designs from old favourite clothes, personalise letterheads and stationery, or try out various paint or colour schemes.

• Find creative art opportunities that do not come with any academic or performance pressure. Be guided by your child’s choices and not what you want them to learn. The emphasis is on the creative process, not the final product.

• Insist on some quiet time. Creativity requires reflection away from distractions. Activities such as keeping a journal, hiking, cycling, walking the dog, and doing chores lend themselves to introspection, even when they are done as a family.

• Remain nonjudgmental. Ideas and creations can be flawed. To be creative, your children need the freedom to experiment and to make mistakes so that they can try again.

August 2013

17

parenting

discipline

wars

Conflicting parenting styles can play havoc on your relationship with your partner and confuse your children. By Françoise Gallet

g

race Shaw*, 43, mother to three boys of eight, 11 and 15, loved what she saw of her husband with other people’s children. But when their first son was born, she saw another side to him, which left her hurt, disappointed and angry.

“When I first met Gary he was very playful with his friend’s children, so I imagined he would be playful and involved with our own children. This illusion was shattered when, two weeks after our firstborn arrived, Gary left us to go away on a boys’ weekend in Joburg.”

Coming face-to-face with your partner’s take on parenting while in the throes of actual parenting can be stressful. Most of this stress stems from unconscious and conscious expectations parents have of themselves and their partners, explains Carol-Ann Dixon, a counselling psychologist and relationship therapist in Durban.

Amanda Joseph, 32, and Bradley Whittington, 31, parents to three children also struggled with similar disillusionment.

Amanda’s idea of who Bradley would be as a parent differed substantially from who he really is. “I realised only in hindsight that my unconscious expectation was based on how my father had parented me,” she says.

Cristine Scolari, a Joburg clinical psychologist, says few individuals enter parenthood with a clear sense of what they consider to be their role, responsibilities and parental values. Our ideas about how our children should be raised are shaped “by a variety of factors, such as how we were parented, the individual’s own temperament and personality, personal values, experiences from childhood, emotional factors and trial and error,” explains Scolari.

• O ther styles of parenting include helicopter parenting, where parents constantly control and interfere in their children’s lives.

• Attachment parenting is where parents believe that creating a strong bond with their child is paramount.

• Dixon describes another style of parenting, coined “conscious parenting”, which is “about seeing the child as a separate and unique being that needs to be nurtured, guided and coached into adulthood. It is very skills-based with specific tools being taught and the parent-child relationship at the core of the method.”

to some of the rituals at a traditional Zulu wedding, such as the slaughtering of animals; whereas her husband wanted his son to be taught about the meanings behind these practices. He did not see anything wrong with his son sleeping in the same room when they made love; she was aghast!”

Conflict over parenting styles can leave parents feeling frustrated, annoyed, misunderstood, isolated and angry.

Other common emotions include mistrust and insecurity.

Conflicting parenting styles may also impact children.

“To avoid conflict, one partner may abdicate parenting to the other,” points out Dixon. “One parent may also over-compensate and so overdiscipline or over-protect the child. Arguing continually about who is right and who is the better parent is common.”

When “ganging up with the children” against the other parent becomes pathological, it is known as Parent Alienation Syndrome.

“Deliberate attempts to alienate a parent from the children have a very adverse effect on them and creates deep hurt,” says Dixon.

There is a saying: ‘You can either be right or you can be in a relationship’. Parents may have to learn how to integrate their differences – sometimes through compromise or through expanding boundaries to be more inclusive.

Although each parent is uniquely influenced by a number of factors, mainline research has identified three distinct parenting styles: authoritarian, laissez faire or permissive and more recently a style known as authoritative.

• “Authoritarian parenting is a regimental parenting style with many rules and strict boundaries. Children are not expected to have an opinion or have any input,” Scolari explains.

• Parents with a permissive style “allow their children to do whatever they like with not much structure or boundaries,” continues Scolari.

• In authoritative parenting, parents set rules and have boundaries, but they are more flexible and listen to their children’s input.

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The conscious and attachment parenting styles have informed the way Amanda raises her children. While she and Bradley generally share these ideals, Amanda admits that differences are most pronounced when it comes to discipline and boundaries.

“Where he sees me being inconsistent, I see me choosing my battles,” explains Amanda. “When I feel he’s being too harsh, he feels he is keeping the children accountable to their agreements.”

Anne Cawood, a Cape Town social worker in private practice and author of five parenting books, agrees that the most common area of disagreement between parents is that of discipline. Grace, who describes her early parenting style as permissive, is a good example. “Gary brought an authoritarian approach into his parenting, and, boy, did we clash,” she says. “I would ask him for help and his only solution was corporal punishment. I would then interfere in my attempt to shield or protect the boys, and he would feel undermined and the boys learnt to play us off against each other. I considered my parenting approach ‘far better’ than his and vice versa. The result was further alienation from each other and children who were confused.”

Differences in parenting styles may be exacerbated by religious and cultural beliefs. Dixon describes some of the issues faced by an American married to a Zulu South African: “She did not want her son to be exposed

respecting the other “Some people find it difficult to separate being able to love their partner as an individual and integrate their parenting style, so they begin to disrespect and experience contempt for their partner,” says Dixon. “There is a saying: ‘You can either be right or you can be in a relationship’. Parents may have to learn how to integrate their differences – sometimes through compromise or through expanding boundaries to be more inclusive.”

Dixon had a client where the Hindu mother wanted her children to learn the Bhagavad Gita, and her Christian husband wanted them to learn the Bible. The couple decided to expose themselves first to the different beliefs before deciding. “The result was healthy, rigorous debate, a decision to respect all paths and to offer the children a choice when they grew older,” she says.

For Cawood, successfully managing differences in parenting styles comes down to the couple’s communication skills. “It is all a matter of how the couple learns to communicate. No two parents will view parenting in exactly the same way. The issue is to find effective skills to communicate about the differences.”

Kobus van der Merwe, a Pretoria-based clinical relationship therapist, also highlights the importance of constructive dialogue between couples. For Van der Merwe, who has been running relationship workshops magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

style guide

power struggles

useful reading •

• • •

Boundaries With Kids by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend (Zondervan Publishing Company) The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary D Chapman (Moody Publishers) Parenting from the inside out by Daniel Siegel and Mary Hartzell (Jeremy P Tarcher) Toddlers Need Boundaries and Children Need Boundaries by Anne Cawood (Metz Press)

create harmony

for 17 years, when couples are able to dialogue skilfully, different parenting styles can be richly valuable. He gives an example from his own marriage: “My perspective is discipline; my wife comes from a playful space. I need to be aware of this and keep it in mind. She needs to be open to when I can see that a pattern in the children’s behaviour needs to change.”

Difference can be advantageous to the emotional wellbeing of the family when parents are able to confront their own belief and value systems and discuss them with mutual respect. “Children can manage quite a high degree of conflict, especially when they witness resolution of that conflict,” says Dixon.

Cawood agrees. “Children will not be adversely affected by parents who have divergent styles – but they will be negatively affected if their parents allow these differences to impact the emotional atmosphere of the home. With open, positive communication, being a parent can become an amazing, challenging and exciting experience with opportunities for ongoing personal growth.” *Names have been changed

magazine durban

Anne Cawood shares some of the skills and strategies of effective communication: • Be empathetic and put yourself in the shoes of your partner.

• See the perspective of the other parent by being an active listener.

• Be assertive and express your opinions non-judgmentally.

• Avoid criticising each other’s extended families.

• Don’t bottle up as this leads to explosions later.

• Learn to compromise.

• See your partner as the other part of your child’s life.

tips from The Family Life Centre Educational psychologist, Claudia Abelheim, gives tips for navigating this territory: • Your golden rule: make your children’s best interests your priority.

• Develop a joint parenting plan that puts boundaries and systems in place.

• Attend a parent education course – it can help parents find a more cohesive style that suits both parties’ needs.

August 2013

19

education

it’s what you know Being up to date on general knowledge can be of great advantage to your child’s academic and social life. MARC DE CHAZAL offers fun ideas to boost the brain power.

y

ou can Google almost anything on a smartphone, but we are not necessarily smarter when it comes to general knowledge. A 2008 poll showed that 37 percent of Americans were unable to locate their home country on a world map. There’s a good chance our collective general knowledge is also a bit shoddy. According to the World Economic Forum, the South African education system is ranked near the very bottom in a survey of 144 countries.

Research has shown that new information can only be retained when it attaches itself to existing knowledge, so expanding your child’s core knowledge can only benefit him.

The key is to make it fun. This will not only make them more interested in the world, but will also give them practical information that may be really useful in life. Here are some things you can do with your child to improve their general knowledge.

read everything One of my favourite authors, the genial and humorous Bill Bryson, is a fountain of knowledge. If you read his hilarious memoir, The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid, you’ll understand why. Bryson’s parents owned a broad collection of books, and young Bill was given free rein to read whatever he wanted to, which he did. He grew up to become a celebrated travel writer, and wrote the award-winning general science book, A Short History of Nearly Everything. Incidentally, he also wrote the child-friendly A Really Short History of Nearly Everything.

To get your child into the habit of reading widely, you can start by taking her to the local library from a young age. Also include books as birthday and Christmas presents that will especially build their general knowledge, such as Big Questions from Little People Answered by Some Very Big People, compiled by Gemma Elwin Harris. In it, Bear Grylls explains if it’s OK to eat a worm, Dr Richard Fortey tells children why dinosaurs became extinct and other animals didn’t, and many others weigh-in on questions even adults would like answered.

Expose your child to other media as well. Think National Geographic Kids, which has an interactive website that offers numerous activities that will expand their knowledge in a fun way (visit kids.nationalgeographic.com). Newspapers are another powerful teaching tool, as there is something new to read, look at, think about and discuss every day.

“Children love to play – and general knowledge is best developed by engaging your child in games and quizzes,” says Jamie Miller, author of How to Become a Quizzing Genius.

There are myriad board games and online quizzes you can choose from. Trivial Pursuit, 30 Seconds and Cranium are perennial favourites.

I remember playing a simple game as a child that tests and improves general knowledge – the board game equivalent is Scattergories. The objective of the game is to score points by uniquely naming objects within a set of categories, given an initial letter, within a time limit. So your chosen categories could be cities, sports, music and movies.

If the letter is C, players write down a city, sport, song and movie beginning with the letter.

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August 2013

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

game on

All you need is paper, something to write with and your brain. A dictionary may be useful as well. I recall an adult family friend giving 12-year-old me a hard time when I insisted my spelling of “Yugoslavia” with a Y was correct. I was finally awarded the point, so I guess the game also taught me the value of perseverance.

If you want to improve your geography knowledge, a fun online game takes you on a journey around the world and challenges your ability to recognise your surroundings. You can spend hours guessing the locations of mysterious landscapes on geoguessr.com.

google it Thanks to search engines and the speed of computerised devices, facts are literally at our finger tips. Your child will be encouraged by his teachers to safely use the internet for research, but you can help on the general knowledge front too. You’ll find many quiz ideas for children online. You can also set up your own quiz that involves using the internet to find the answers. Ensure that the search settings on your home computer are child friendly.

write it down There is a proven neurological connection between long-term memory and mental manipulation. One way to improve a child’s memory is to ask them to write summaries of new information in their own words, says Dr Judy Willis, a US-based neurologist and former school teacher. If you’ve just come back from a family holiday, get your children to write about their experiences. “To make these even more personally meaningful the summaries can be in forms that suit their learning style preferences, including sketches, skits, songs, dances, comic strips or drawings,” says Willis.

leave home Your child will never be truly exposed to the world by staying at home and watching TV. Visiting interesting places, such as museums and aquariums, will do wonders for his general knowledge. Also visit more unusual places to discover how things are made, such as a chocolate factory or goat farm. If you have the means, take your child abroad to see and experience, first hand, the rich diversity of life on our fascinating planet.

Don’t underestimate the humble road trip that takes in the quieter corners of our country. You can garner the above practical suggestions over a weekend road trip. Read up about your destination in advance, set up fun quizzes to do en route and when you’re back home, and get your child to summarise his memories of the trip.

make the circle bigger The grown-up friends and extended family of my parents also taught me a thing or two about “life, the universe and everything”. Around the dinner table, I heard about the interesting countries they had visited, the professions they were in and their opinions about current affairs. Of course, you may need to censor the stream of adult conversations your child is exposed to, especially when alcohol is also flowing. magazine durban

August 2013

21

resource

a business plan Create a young entrepreneur by encouraging your children to use their basic skills and turn their creativity into a business. CHILD MAGAZINE gives you some ideas. projects to do at home

• Ecofriendly projects Classes can come up with ideas that can be used to help others, such as how to grow grass to stop soil erosion • How it’s made They can demonstrate how things are constructed, either by using models or by building their own.

• Biology Classes can put together demonstrations that show how things in nature work, such as worm farms.

fruit and veg

masterchef • Baking Biscuits, cakes, rusks, cupcakes and other baked goodies can be made to order or sell at markets.

• Preserves Homemade chilli sauce, pickled onions, tomato relish, mayonnaise, pesto and other sauces can be made in big batches and sold at school or to friends and family.

• Pies Quiches, tarts and pies can be made to order.

• Cooking Ready-made meals are a big plus for busy moms.

• Pre-made items Homemade muesli, pre-made biscuit or bread dough, and bread crumbs are easy to make.

market day • DIY Painting, fixing things around the house, hanging pictures and doing odd jobs is a good way for children to earn some income.

• Beauty Girls may like to offer nail treatments to moms on Saturdays.

• Functions Get your child to offer to help out at school fundraisers and birthday parties, entertaining children with games, face painting and painting tattoos.

computers • Designing Tech-savvy children can set up websites, design business cards, flyers, invitations, posters and calendars.

• Keeping in touch Children can offer to write emails for people in old age homes, or set up Skype sessions for them.

• Hardware Children with a head for hardware can fix computers or put them together for people.

art and crafts home and garden help • Pet services Children who are good with animals can offer a dog walking service, if it is in a safe neighbourhood.

• Garden services Mow the grass, do weeding and water the plants for neighbours you know well and trust.

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August 2013

• Thrift Make photo frames out of driftwood, or old wire and wine corks.

• Being creative Make trendy wooden decorations to sell at a craft market.

• Interior design Small blocks of mounted canvas can be painted to match room themes.

• Fashion and design Children can knit, scarves, hats and soft toys. Crocheted items, beaded jewellery, hair accessories and handbags are all items that children with a creative streak can make.

projects to do at school sports day

• Tournaments Children can organise different sports tournaments so as to include everyone, such as hockey, soccer or athletics. On the day, scorekeepers will have to keep track of which teams move through to the final rounds.

• Oddball Olympics These sports days can include fun games for children, especially if they are little, with activities like three-legged races, sack races, wheelbarrow races, Frisbee golf, eggand-spoon races or tug of war.

• Behind the scenes Children not taking part in the sports events can sell tickets, or set up food stalls and sell refreshments.

science fair • Science experiments Children can set up a science fair, where visitors pay a small entry fee to view the experiments.

• Recycled and upcycled Children can find old things around the house and turn them into toys, decor, storage containers and anything else inspirational.

• Fun and games Children can offer activities for others to buy, such as wooden puzzles, DIY kits (for example, a make-your-own-kite kit), or have a stall where children can play games.

• Food Baked goods, such as cakes, biscuits, cupcakes, toffee apples, chocolate clusters or homemade muesli can be sold.

• Smellies Children can make soaps, bath salts, scented candles, linen sachets, or lavender garlands.

• Handmade items These can include clothes, decor, blankets, knitted or crocheted items, and handbags.

• Festive season If your market is held towards the end of the year, Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, cards, tree ornaments and other festive goodies will go down well.

• Services Face painting, hair spraying, nail art, and temporary or henna tattoos can be offered as well.

• Entertainment Children with a flair for performing can run a karaoke contest or dance-offs. Others can try blowing balloon animals or stilt walking.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

• Watching it grow Show your child how to grow herbs and veggies in pots or in the garden. Choose herbs that grow well and quickly, and that will keep producing for most of the year.

• Seed packs Research easy-to-grow veggies and herbs, and then make seed packs. They can also include instructions and put companion plants together.

• Sell it If you have a lemon tree, avo tree, chilli bush or other food-producing plant in your garden, children can sell extra produce in season.

• Pack it Source wooden boxes to grow vegetables in and sell these with instructions and refill packs.

books

a good read for toddlers Knock! Knock! Open the Door

By Michaela Morgan and David Walker

for preschoolers a surp r on ev ise ery page

(Published by MacMillan Children’s Books, R120) Where is that special person Mom and Dad promised to bring home? There are lots of knocks at the door as new animal friends come calling, but none of them are quite sure who this little toddler is expecting. She’s waiting for someone cuddly like the polar bear, funny like the spotty cat, cute like the penguin, bouncy like the kangaroo, smelly like the skunk and noisy like the dinosaur. This is a lovely introduction for toddlers to a new brother or sister arriving home.

What is in the Yellow Envelope?

By Leoni Webster and Annelie Sdralis (Published by Money is Childsplay CC, R80, postage excluded) Today is Simon’s birthday and Grandpa gives him a yellow envelope. Inside is money. In this book, Grandpa explains to Simon how he can earn money, where it comes from and how to look after it. The authors, a financial manager and teacher, developed this series for children and adults to explain money matters. It contains loads of fun – with brainteasers, games and money-related field trip ideas. Visit money4kids.co.za to order.

for early graders I Wonder Why the Dodo is Dead & I Wonder Why Soap Makes Bubbles

By Andrew Charman and Barbara Taylor (Published by Kingfisher, R104 each) Colourful, and full of information, the I Wonder Why books have set thousands of young minds buzzing. I Wonder Why the Dodo is Dead is an introduction to extinct and endangered animals, featuring polar bears in peril, right whales at risk, rhinos and more. I Wonder Why Soap Makes Bubbles introduces children to science, featuring rainbows, fizzy drinks, musical instruments and more. Clear, lively text answers all those questions about how the world works, while friendly, funny cartoons add interest. With more than 35 titles across a mind-expanding range of subjects, this series will amaze and amuse young children.

for preteens and teens The Child’s Elephant

By Rachel Campbell-Johnston

a book you won’t forget

(Published by Random House, R174) When a baby elephant is left orphaned on the African savannah, Bat, a young herd boy, takes her home and cares for her. But Bat’s grandmother knows that Meya cannot stay with them forever; the call of the wild will always be sounding in her soul. And there are rumours borne on the wind; frightening stories of war. Bat and his closest friend, Muka, are catapulted into a new life of unimaginable terror. Now memories of their village world feel so far away. Will the bond between elephant and child remain strong enough to save them? This is a thrilling new novel, which tells a heartbreaking, lifelike tale.

for us

parenting book

A Bantu in my Bathroom

By Eusebius McKaiser

Toddler Sense

By Ann Richardson

(Published by Bookstorm, R181) Why are South Africans so uncomfortable with deep disagreement?

Why do we lash out at people with opposing views without taking the time to engage logically with their arguments? Eusebius McKaiser is on a mission to raise the level of debate in South Africa. He provokes us from our comfort zones and lures us into the debates that shape our opinions and our society. With surprising candour and intensely personal examples, McKaiser examines our deepest-felt prejudices and ingrained assumptions. The foreword of the book is written by the rector and vicechancellor of the University of the Free State, Jonathan Jansen.

(Published by Metz Press, R160) Now fully updated and expanded to include the latest relevant research, this ever popular book tells you how to recognise and understand your toddler’s unique sensory profile. Learn how to manage stimulation to avoid overload and solve bedtime battles with age-appropriate sleep-training. It shows you how to discipline with love and a sense of humour and gives a sensible approach to toilet training and more. The term “picky eating” has recently been re-classified as an “eating disorder of early childhood”. The book has been updated to include a dedicated chapter on managing the picky eater.

magazine durban

August 2013

23

calendar

what’s on in august

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

17 sat

special events

25

FUN for children

26

only for parents

28

bump, baby & tot in tow

29

how to help

29

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Akimbo kids Open lawns and jungle gyms give children the chance to play outside.

Eagles – Taking it Easy Hear all of your old favourites in this musical tribute show.

MamaMagic – The Baby Expo Find everything baby- and child-related under one roof.

Wheel Well Donated car safety seats offer lower-income families affordable safety.

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August 2013

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

Child fun day Children can join a drumming workshop, learn decoupage, listen to stories and have fun.

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 thursday 2013 World Transplant Summer Games This organ donor awareness event sees competitors from 50 countries compete across all age groups. 28 July– 4 August. Time: varies. Venue: varies. Cost: varies. For more info: visit odf.org.za Simon Peter Preschool Ladies Breakfast Join this annual fundraiser with guest speakers. Time: 8am–12pm. Venue: Kloof Country Club. Cost: R170. Contact Cris Andersson: 083 613 9521, candersson@ telkomsa.net or visit simonpeter.co.za

3 saturday Pick n Pay Women’s Walk This 5km walk raises funds for free cancer screenings and health advice in local communities.

Enter at Pick n Pay Hyper by the Sea, Pick n Pay Umhlanga, Pick n Pay La Lucia Mall or online. Time: 9am. Venue: Sunkist Lawns, Durban Beachfront Promenade.

Cost: adults R35, children R20. For more info: visit pnptickets.co.za The African Marine Expo Focusing on marine conservation and oceanbased tourism, the expo includes a junior fishing competition and an entertainment programme for children. Also 4 August.

Time: varies. Venue: Scottburgh Beach.

Reach for a Dream Slipper Campaign Get your stickers and wear your funkiest slippers to school or work. Buy your sticker at any Reach for a Dream or Hirsch’s store. Cost: stickers R10. Contact Anna: 031 566 2220 or prkzn@ reachforadream.org.za

2 fri

magazine durban

Cost: free entry to the expo. Contact: 082 812 7944, vicky@wozaniafrica.co.za or visit africamarineexpo.co.za

6 tuesday Eagles – Taking It Easy Showcasing the musical rise to fame of the Eagles during the 70s and 80s. Ends 15 September.

Time: 7pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 12:30pm, Sunday. Venue: Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest.

Cost: Tuesday and Sunday R165, Wednesday–Saturday R195, show only R100. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za

7 wednesday Montessori Information Session Find out about courses being offered.

Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm. Venue: Ocean View Montessori School, 32 Oxford Dr, Durban North. Cost: tbc. Contact: heidi@ montessorisa.co.za

8 thursday The Good Food and Wine Show It’s the tastiest date on the South African foodie calendar. Celebrity chefs include James Martin, Vivek Singh and Mellissa Morgan, aka Ms Cupcake. Children will love the Little Chefs kitchen with hands-on workshops for children 4–7 and 8–12 years old. Ends 11 August. Time: 10am. Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre, Durban CBD. Cost: adults R75, children 2–12 years old R40. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

9 friday Bollywood Comedy Night Mervyn Pillay’s new comedy show is dedicated to all women. Time: 8pm. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R100–R120.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Music and Market Enjoy a day of entertainment with music by local school choirs and entertainers. There are market and food stalls, a tea garden, and entertainment for children with tractor rides and a playground. Time: 9:30am–4pm. Venue: Golden Hours, cnr Radar Rd and Uitsig Rd, Durban North.

Cost: adults R15, children R5. Contact: president@northdurbanlions.org.za or visit northdurbanlions.org.za

8–11 August – The Good Food and Wine Show

Women’s Day @ Akimbo What do women really want? Delicious cappuccinos, sweet treats and to shop. Beautiful crafts and books for women on sale from 10am–1pm.

Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Akimbo Kids, 40 Meadway Rd, Drummond. Cost: R20 per child. Contact: 031 783 7892 or visit akimbo.co.za

14 wednesday Toktokkie Preprimary School open day Find out more about this preprimary school, with its newly upgraded premises.

New enrolments from 3 year olds to Grade R welcome. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: cnr Pembroke Rd and Prospect Hall Rd, Durban North. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit toktokkiejungle.co.za

entertainment for children. Ends 18 August.

Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre, Durban CBD. Cost: adults R50, children under 10 free. For more info: visit mamamagic.co.za

17 saturday Child fun day The annual South African Women’s Arts Festival (SAWAF) runs from 25 July–17 August 2013 and includes drama productions, dance, and open mic and dialogue sessions. Today there is a fun day for children with workshops, face painting, a treasure hunt and more. Time: 9:30am–3:30pm. Venue: The Playhouse Company, 29 Acutt St, Durban. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 369 9540 or visit playhousecompany.com

15 thursday Food and wine evening An evening of wine education, tasting and food pairing with Hildebrand Estate’s winemaker.

Time: 6pm–8:30pm. Venue: Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: individuals R300, couples R500. Contact Meryl: 031 764 6577, meryl@merylschoolofcooking.co.za or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za

16 friday MamaMagic – The Baby Expo Find out everything you need to know for children 0–6 years old. The show has an Expert’s Lounge, innovative products and

17 August – Child fun day

August 2013

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calendar

25 sunday

18

Orchestra 2013 Warm up your instruments to play in this mass orchestral concert, open to anyone who can read and play orchestral music, or enjoy as a spectator. Time: 2:30pm. Venue: Indoor Sports Centre, Westville campus, UKZN. Cost: adults R65, children R40. Contact: 031 202 6174 or bcha1820@global.co.za

sun

27 tuesday Duelling Decades It’s the music of the 80s vs the 90s. Ends 13 October. Time: 6:30pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 12:30pm, Sunday. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

28 wednesday 14th JOMBA! Contemporary Dance Experience This international contemporary dance festival features international and South African dance performances. There are also master classes, open classes and workshops. Ends 8 September. Time: varies.

Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN. Cost: varies. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

South Africa takes on Chile. Take your own picnic or find something in the upmarket food and drinks area. Time: 10am, match starts 2:30pm. Venue: Durban Shongweni Club, Hillcrest. Cost: general admission R50–R80, children under 12 free. For more info: visit sapolo.org.za/bmw-polo-series-august/

FUN FOR CHILDREN 28 August–8 September – 14th JOMBA! Contemporary Dance Experience

Mercury Wine Week Over 100 estates display Cape wines. No under 18s. Ends 30 August. Time: 5:30pm–8:30pm. Venue: Suncoast Casino, Durban Beachfront. Cost: R100. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

30 friday Kamberg Karma A mountain biking adventure weekend, where the family gets to ride for the scenery rather than the clock. Ends 1 September. Also 6–8 September. Time: varies. Venue: Glengarry Holiday Farm, Kamberg. Cost: adults from R600, children from R400. Contact Kelly: 033 267 7225, info@glengarry.co.za or visit glengarry.co.za

31 saturday Moscow on Ice Combining the best of figure skating and circus performances. Also 1 September. Time: 11am and 3pm, Saturday; 12pm and 4pm, Sunday. Venue: Durban Ice Rink, 81 Somtseu Rd, Durban. Cost: R150– R280. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

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August 2013

family outings

BMW International Polo Series

Open Air School market day A fundraising market day, with books, clothing, toys, home bakes, a raffle and more. Or donate goods to be sold on the day. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: 241 Ester Roberts Rd, Glenwood. Cost: tbc. Contact: 031 205 1277 St Mary’s Spring Fling A day of entertainment with children’s inflatables and rides, food and a craft market. Time: 9am–2:30pm. Venue: St Mary’s DSG, Kloof.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 321 9330 Paintball open day For children 10–15 years old. Time: 9am–11:30am. Venue: Boot Camp, Giba Valley. Cost: R150. Contact: 082 782 6432, info@boot-camp.co.za or visit boot-camp.co.za

art, culture and science Arty Stars Art and craft lessons for children 18 months–5 years old, and their moms. Time: 2:30pm–3:30pm, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Venue: Westville.

Cost: R600 per term. Contact Kelly: 083 777 4578 or babybrightstars@gmail.com KZN Science Centre Looks at science in a fun and interesting way. Time: varies.

Venue: upper level, Gateway. Cost: adults R30, children R35. Contact: 031 566 8040 or visit kznsc.org Portals An exhibition on how portals represent openings to new realities or worlds. Suitable for high school students and adults. 19 August–7 September. Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Friday; 9am–2pm, Saturday. Venue: ArtSpace Durban, 3 Millar Rd, Stamford Hill. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 0793 or visit artspace-durban.com Wildlife Photographer of the Year Exhibition See amazing wildlife photographs taken by top international photographers. 25 July–25 September.

Time: varies. Venue: uShaka Marine World Aquarium. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 328 8000, chris@wildtalkafrica.com or visit wildtalkafrica.com

lessons R400. Contact Meryl: 031 764 6577, meryl@merylschoolofcooking.co.za or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za Get Ready for School programme A gentle introduction to formal learning for Grade R learners. Time: 1:30pm, Monday– Friday; 11am, every Saturday. Venue: suite 125, Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556 or tracy@ kipumhlanga.co.za Study skills Learn to study smarter. Essay writing course also available. For Grades 5–7 and 8–12. 17 August–14 September. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556 or tracy@kipumhlanga.co.za

classes, talks and workshops Babes in the Wood Children 1–5 years old learn about nature. Adults must accompany children. Time: 9am–11am, every Thursday. Venue: Stainbank Nature Reserve. Cost: donations welcome.

Contact: 031 462 8642, kathryn@ wildernessleadershipschool.co.za or visit wildernesstrails.org.za Children’s yoga Help them develop strength, flexibility and coordination.

Time: 3:15pm, every Tuesday; 11am, every Saturday. Venue: Centre of Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R40.

Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@ rautenbach.co.za Computers 4 Kids Computer skills for Grades R–7. Time: varies. Venue: suite 124, Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R470 per month. Contact: 031 566 1110, umhlanga@computers4kids. co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za Cooking Kids Certificate Series A series of courses where children 6–13 years old learn about pastry making. Children receive a certificate on completion. 2, 9 and 16 August. Time: 2pm–3:30pm. Venue: Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: R150 per lesson, three

Book Fair Discover hundreds of books. Time: 10am–3:30pm, 6 August; 7:30am–2pm, 7 August. Venue: Northlands Primary, Durban North. Also at La Lucia Junior Primary 12 and 13 August; Parkside Primary 14–16 August; Embury College 22 and 23 August; Clifton Prep 29 and 30 August, and Highbury Prep 29 and 30 August. Cost: free entry. Contact Kathy: 031 705 7744 Burnedale Café This centre boasts a restaurant and pottery gallery, as well as a farmyard, art and decor shop, and plenty more for the family. Time: 9am–4:30pm, daily. Venue: Salt Rock Rd, Umhlali. Cost: varies. Contact: 032 947 1980 or visit facebook.com/Burndale Coedmore Castle tours See a living piece of history. Young children must be supervised. Time: by appointment. Venue: 90 Coedmore Ave, Yellowwood Park. Cost: R45. Contact Jenny: 083 419 6428 or birtwhistle@mweb.co.za Inchanga Choo Choo Enjoy a steamtrain ride between Kloof and Inchanga station, where you will find a craft market.

25 August. Time: 8:30am and 12:30pm.

Venue: Kloof to Inchanga. Cost: adults R170, children R130. Contact Robbie: 082 353 6003, bookings@umgenisteamrailway. co.za or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za Mr. Funtubbles Fabulous Family Funfair Enjoy fun rides and games. Time: 10am–9pm, daily. Venue: upper level, Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 584 6645 or visit mrfuntubbles.co.za

25 July–25 September – Wildlife Photographer of the Year Exhibition

magazine durban

markets

Dangerous Creatures

finding nature and outdoor play 1000 Hills Bird Park See exotic birds, interesting reptiles or enjoy a meal at the restaurant. Time: 8am–4pm, Tuesday– Sunday. Venue: 1 Clement Stott Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: adults R65, children under 10 R40. Contact: 072 927 8242 or visit 1000hillsbirdpark.co.za Akimbo Kids An indoor and outdoor coffee shop with spacious play areas for children. Time: 9am–4pm, Tuesday–Sunday.

Venue: 40 Meadway Rd, Drummond. Cost: children R20. Contact: 031 783 7892 or visit akimbo.co.za Crocworld Conservation Centre Time: 8am–4:30pm, daily. Venue: Old Main Rd, Scottburgh. Cost: adults R60, children R40.

Contact: 039 976 1103, crocworld@cbl. co.za or visit crocworld.co.za Crow open days Tours of Crow include a visit to some of the enclosures for animals in rehabilitation, and the environmental education centre. 25 August. Time: 11am.

Venue: 15A Coedmore Rd, Yellowwood Park. Cost: R25. Contact: 031 462 1127 or info@crowkzn.co.za Dangerous Creatures See local and exotic reptiles, frogs, spiders, scorpions, lizards and creepy crawlies from around the world. Time: 10am–5pm, daily. Venue: Village Walk, uShaka Marine World. Cost: R35. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za Flag Animal Farm They have over 1 000 rescued animals, a milking show, indoor play centre, a coffee shop and more. Time: daily milking show, 12pm and 3pm. Venue: Sheffield Beach. Cost: R33 entry. Contact: 032 947 2018 The Animal Farmyard Offers daily milking demonstrations and the chance to bottle-feed newborn animals. Time: 9am–4:30pm, daily; milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill.

Cost: R15 entry, rides R5. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za Winsome View Animal Farm There is a play area, farm animals and pony rides. Time: 9am–3pm, Tuesday–Sunday.

Venue: Hamilton Way, Shongweni. Cost: varies. Contact: 082 892 1615 or visit winsomeview.co.za magazine durban

Bergtheil Museum Craft Market Visit the museum and shop at the craft market.

Tea garden available. 10 August. Time: 8:30am–12pm. Venue: 16 Queens Ave, Westville. Cost: free entry. Contact Rose: 074 890 2289 or Shirley: 078 507 9395 Essenwood Market Fresh food and a range of stalls. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday.

Venue: Essenwood Rd. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com Golden Hours Family Market Fundraising initiative of Golden Hours Special School.

Time: 10am–3:30pm, every Sunday. Venue: Uitsig Rd, Durban North. Cost: free entry.

Contact Lyn: 083 262 3693 I Heart market Foodies and designers showcase their products. 3 August.

Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium. Contact: thejoyteam@gmail.com or visit iheartmarket.blogspot.com Shongweni Farmer’s and Craft Market Organic and local produce and crafts. Time: 6:30am–10:30am, every Saturday. Venue: cnr Kassier Rd and Alverstone Rd, Assagay. Contact: 083 777 1674, info@shongwenimarket.co.za or visit shongwenimarket.co.za The food market With over 40 local food stalls. 31 August. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: The Hellenic Community Centre, Durban North. Contact: 084 505 0113 or visit thefoodmarket.co.za Wonder Market A selection of foods, crafts and treasures. 25 August. Time: 9am–2pm.

Venue: Chris Saunders Park, Umhlanga.

Contact: wonder@wondermarket.co.za or visit wondermarket.co.za

on stage and screen 14th JOMBA! Contemporary Dance Experience 28 August–8 September.

Time: varies. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN, Glenwood. Cost: varies.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Moscow on Ice Combining ice skaters with acrobats, clowns, jugglers and illusionists.

31 August–1 September. Time: 11am and 3pm, Saturday; 12pm and 4pm, Sunday.

Venue: Durban Ice Rink, 81 Somtseu Rd, Durban. Cost: R150–R280. Contact: Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Pick-A-Toon Children vote for their favourite show by visiting the website during the week to vote. The show with the most votes airs at 10am, every Saturday. On Cartoon Network, DStv channel 301. For more info: visit cartoonnetworkafrica.com/pick

playtime and story time Books and Books Story time for children. Time: 10am, every Saturday.

Venue: shop 42, Kensington Square, 53 Kensington Dr, Durban North. Cost: free. Contact: 031 563 6288 or shop@ booksandbooks.co.za Jimmy Jungles An indoor playground with different play areas per age group and a restaurant area for parents.

Time: 9am–6pm, Monday–Saturday; 9am–4pm, Sunday. Venue: Perry Yamaha Building, Tetford Circle, Umhlanga. Cost: varies. Contact: 072 332 8915 or visit jimmyjungles.co.za August 2013

27

calendar

Jimmy Jungles

Lucky Bean Children can play safely while parents relax in the coffee shop.

Time: 9am–4pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: R15–R20 entry. Contact: 082 216 3892 or visit luckybean.co (no .za) Steam train rides Ride a miniature steam engine at the Durban Society of Model Engineers. 11 and 25 August.

Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 per ride. Contact Gerald: 031 205 1089 or 082 569 1383

sport and physical activities Newmarket Stables horse riding lessons There is a sand dressage arena, jumping arena and more. Time: varies, Monday–Saturday. Venue: cnr NMR Ave and Goble Rd, Stamford Hill. Cost: varies. Contact Hayley: 031 303 1529, newmarket.stables@gmail.com or visit newmarketstables.weebly.com Taekwondo Tornados Children get exercise, develop core strength and have fun. Time and venue: from 3:30pm, every Wednesday, Westville Library; from 2pm, every Tuesday, Hillcrest Library. Cost: R130 per month. Contact: 082 876 0628 or tkdtornados@gmail.com

only for parents classes, talks and workshops e-Learner computer course Time: 9am–12pm, Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: suite 124, Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: certified course R3 120. Contact: 031 566 1110, 074 113 8364 or umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za Mommy Art classes Explore your creativity while your children play. Stickmen artists to advanced artists welcome. Time: varies. Venue: Hillcrest. Cost: R80 per lesson.

Contact: 082 737 7593 or robynoelofse@ gmail.com North Coast art group meeting Ceramicist Lorraine Wilson demonstrates on ceramic tiles. 17 August. Time: 9am–12pm.

Venue: Catholic Church, 2 Newport Ave, Virginia, Durban North. Cost: members R20, non-members R30. Contact Rowena: 072 148 8194 or Craig: 082 964 9628 Pilates in Motion This small, private studio offers a tranquil environment.

Time: varies, Monday–Thursday. Venue: Musgrave. Cost: varies. Contact: 082 443 4533, info@pilatesinmotion.co.za or visit pilatesinmotion.co.za Pilates Precision Strengthen, tone and lose weight. Preggie Pilates also available,

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by appointment. Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm, Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: The School of Modern Montessori, 9 Anthony Dr, Gillitts. Cost: four classes R280, eight classes R480. Contact: 071 183 4161 or sarahxevans@hotmail.com Sprigs cooking demos They cover everyday dishes to fast gourmet food.

Dates vary. Time: varies. Venue: Sprigs The Food Shop, Fields Shopping Centre, Old Main Rd, Kloof. Cost: R260–R300. Contact: 031 764 6031, sprigs@telkomsa.net or visit sprigs.co.za Taekwondo for Ladies Develop core strength, exercise and learn self-defence.

Time: 7pm–8pm, every Thursday.

Venue: Westville Library. Cost: R130 per month. Contact Sam: 082 876 0628 or tkdtornados@gmail.com Weekly meditation classes Time: 6:30pm–7:30pm, every Monday. Venue: Ballito Library, Compensation Beach Rd. Cost: R30. Contact: 031 764 6193 or meditateinhillcrest@gmail.com

on stage and screen Bollywood Comedy Night Mervyn Pillay looks at the backbiting, back-stabbing and back-slapping of the film industry. 9 and 10 August. Time: 8pm. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R100–R120.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Eagles – Taking It Easy Includes cover versions of the hits “Hotel California”, “Tequila Sunrise” and “Heartache Tonight”.

6 August–15 September. Time: 7pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 12:30pm, Sunday.

Venue: Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za We are the Champions – Pinc Fundraiser 21 August. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R140. Contact: 073 953 6771 or visit pinc.org.za

support groups Born Sleeping Parents bereaved by stillbirths, miscarriages or neonatal death share their experiences. Contact: 084 524 1541/2, bornsleeping@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page: Born Sleeping ZA Choc – Childhood Cancer Foundation KZN For support and more info, contact: 086 111 2182, dbn@choc.org.za or visit choc.org.za Durban Autism Support Group For mothers of children with ASD. Informal coffee mornings are held four times a year.

Contact Di: 083 443 8385 or dimaitland@ tiscali.co.za magazine durban

Famsa Family and relationship counselling.

Contact: 031 202 8987 or visit 30 Bulwer Rd, Glenwood Hi Hopes This home intervention programme is for children who are deaf or hard of hearing. Contact: 082 897 1632, dianne.goring@hihopes.co.za or visit hihopes.co.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Edubabe Childminder training, first aid workshops and cooking classes. Time: varies. Venue: Glenwood. Cost: varies.

Contact Kate: 071 968 1007 or durban@ edubabe.co.za MamaMagic – The Baby Expo Find everything you need to know for children 0–6 years old. 16–18 August. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre. Cost: adults R50, children under 10 free. For more info: visit mamamagic.co.za Pre- and postnatal yoga Blissful Bellies offers relaxed pregnancy and postnatal classes for moms and babies. Time: varies.

Venue: Eagle View Studio, 4 Galloway Lane, Winston Park. Cost: four classes R220. Contact Kirsty: 073 351 6824 or visit blissfulbellies.co.za Preggi Bellies fitness classes Designed for all levels of fitness. Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm, every Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: Umhlanga Muscle and Fitness Xpress. Cost: R80 per class.

Contact: 073 162 3710, 0860 723 559 (head office), latascha@baby2be.co.za or visit preggibellies.co.za Stroller training for moms Get back into shape. For moms with babies 6 weeks– 3 years old. Time: 9:30am–10:30am, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Venue: Mitchell Park, Morningside. Cost: R450– R500. Contact Bronwyn: bronwyn@ fit4health.co.za or visit fit4health.co.za

The First 12 Months A workshop with sensory motor activities, by an occupational therapist. Time: 9am–12pm, every Saturday.

Venue: Highbury Prep School, Highbury Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: R395. Contact Jeanne: 082 327 1244 or jeanneb@mweb.co.za

it’s party time

For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

playtime and story time Baby Bright Stars Interactive classes for moms and babies. Time: varies. Venue: Westville. Cost: R750. Contact Kelly: 083 777 4578 or babybrightstars@gmail.com Clamber Club Movement and stimulation classes for children 1–4 years old. Time: varies. Venues: branches in Ballito, Hillcrest and Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact Ballito: 076 222 2946, Hillcrest: 084 577 7630 or Kloof: 083 259 2746 or visit clamberclub.com Moms and Babes and Moms and Tots workshops For children 2 months to 3½ years old. Time: 9am, Monday–Friday; 2pm, every Thursday. Venue: Westville. Cost: varies. Contact PJ: 082 907 0905 or Karen: 083 785 1323 or visit momsandbabes. co.za or momsandtots.co.za Toptots Children 8 weeks–4 years old learn and play. Time: varies. Venues: branches in Durban North, Ballito, Glenwood, Kloof, Hillcrest, Westville and Hilton. Cost: varies.

Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, info@toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za

support groups La Leche Breast-feeding support. Contact: 031 309 1801 or visit llli.org/southafrica Mothers 2 Baby For new and old moms who are finding motherhood challenging.

Time: 10am–11:30am, the third Thursday of the month. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, Kassier Rd. Cost: free. Contact Hayley: 078 640 7949 Postnatal Depression Support Association of South Africa Call the National Helpline: 082 882 0072.

Alternatively visit pndsa.co.za for information, membership details or advice.

how to help Gogo Bags The Robin Hood Foundation collects items for disadvantaged grannies who care for their orphaned grandchildren.

You can make up a bag to drop off at a collection point, sponsor a bag for R100 or volunteer. Contact: 031 265 2000 Wheel Well Donate car seats to Wheel Well who will then create a “seat exchange” where lower income families can afford child restraints. Contact Peggie: 072 385 7121, peggie@wheelwell.co.za or visit wheelwell.co.za

Duelling Decades The 80s and 90s battle it out to see which decade had the best music. 27 August–13 October.

Time: 6:30pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 12:30pm, Sunday. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

magazine durban

family marketplace

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag. co.za or fax it to 031 207 3429.

Information must be received by 2 August for the September issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

August 2013

29

finishing touch

it’s time-out AnÉl Lewis had plenty of time to think about her behaviour in the punishment corner, and now agrees that children learn by

e

Erin, Anél and Conor

rin is at that wonderful age where she understands the difference between right and wrong, but still blithely ignores it to do her own thing. To avoid complete anarchy, we have had to quickly firm up our approach to discipline.

First off, we decided that as the parents, we must show a united front. This sounds simple enough, but trust me, the lines of responsibility can get a bit murky.

You see, I think its perfectly fine to let Erin “bake” with a bag of flour and a cup

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August 2013

of water, just so that I can have 15 minutes of quiet time to boil some pasta for supper.

But Craig struggles to see the value in this, and the puddle of gloop that is usually left on the floor after her baking session, means we both get shouted at for making a mess in the kitchen.

Conor’s new obsession is switching on lights. Unfortunately, switching them off again doesn’t have the same appeal.

This means that Craig will come home to find the house lit up like the Palace of Versailles during Bastille celebrations.

This is not quite in line with Eskom’s energy-saving message, but as Conor is too young to really know right from wrong, or his “on” from his “off”, it’s the adults that look after him during the day, who get the blame.

But with Erin we can mete out some form of punishment if she misbehaves,

so we have also had to decide on how to discipline her. I used to think that I could reason with her. But you try explaining to a bleary-eyed two year old, at 7am on a Monday morning, why she cannot wear her Spider-Man slippers to school.

During one particularly trying engagement about acceptable school attire, I lost my temper and stormed out of her room leaving her in just her vest and with only one leg of her trousers on.

I carried on with my morning business and after a few minutes, she came to me and said, “Sorry, Mommy, let’s try these socks instead?” My heart broke, but I was pleased that she had apologised and accepted that she had pushed me too far.

But the funny and rather unfortunate thing about teaching children discipline, is that they don’t have double standards. If you break the rules, you must be chastised

too, as I found out recently when I threw something onto the table.

I can’t even remember why I was irritated, but my fit of pique did not escape Erin’s beady eyes.

“Mommy,” she said sternly, “don’t you do that. You must go to time-out.”

And there was our third lesson about discipline – children learn by observing what you do, not by what you say. So I had no choice but to go and sit in “time-out” in her bedroom as punishment.

At least I didn’t have to suffer in darkness – Conor had been there before me and all the lights were on.

Anél Lewis is the mother of two active toddlers. She’s working on her anger management, and stockpiling glossy magazines under Erin’s bed, just in case she has to serve more time in her daughter’s bedroom for poor behaviour.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: STEPHANIE VELDMAN

watching what we do, and not what we say.