Child magazine | DBN August/September 2017

healthy & happy families

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

into the future

education in SA where to from here?

beyond school sport fitness for the family

baby’s first year

milestones that matter

plus THE trending travel stopover for families

www.childmag.co.za

Aug/Sep 2017

free

spotlight on education

health

education

entertainment

education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.

Malcolm X —

Not a day goes by in our office without the subject of our children’s education coming up.

This morning the conversation centred on a colleague who is battling to get her daughter into her alma mater. As a top girlsonly government school, it is in high demand and waiting lists are long. In spite of countless letters of recommendation, she has not yet been granted an interview, let alone a place for her child’s very important reception year. My heart goes out to her, having recently gone through something similar with my daughter. She was granted an interview at the high school of her choice, but did not make the final cut. A year on and I am pleased the headmaster of the co-ed school she longed to attend did not think my daughter a good fit. She is now at an all-girls school and is so happy. But how were we to know? And then there is the overwhelming issue of choosing a university… If you too are after answers turn to Samantha Page’s piece The ABCs of your child’s future education (page 16), for a better understanding of your options both at home and abroad. In Anxiety Society (page 14) Anél Lewis explores another hot topic and offers suggestions for dealing with the often debilitating mental health issues around stress and anxiety. If you’re in the process of moving house you’ll want to turn to page 22 for tips on how best to manage the chaos that often comes with packing boxes. Parenting can seem like hard work at times, so why not lift your spirits with a spring family photoshoot (see page 25), or plan your next holiday with an exhilarating stopover in Abu Dhabi where I rode the world’s highest and fastest rollercoasters and raced colleagues down precipitous waterslides. I can’t wait to take my children there to have some fun in the sun.

I hope this issue puts a spring in your step.

Lisa Mc Namara, Publisher

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

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Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

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by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios, 35 email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for six issues) cost R150, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by CTP. Copyright subsists in all work published

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August/September 2017

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contents

12

your child’s future education – making the right choice

3 pub’s note 6 over to you

features 10 anxiety society Anél Lewis chats to psychologists about identifying and managing children’s stress and anxiety

12 education ABCs We take a look at the various schooling options and the impact on your child’s education

15 48 hours in abu dhabi When it comes to tourist attractions and cultural experiences, this magical Middle Eastern mecca has it all

16 snap happy Here’s what you need to know before your next family photoshoot 20 wear it your way Why your choice of clothing and colour isn’t necessarily that of your children

22 on the move How to survive moving house and remain sane and calm

regulars 7 pregnancy Top tips for setting up the perfect nursery 8 best for baby – baby moves Rachel Carey discusses baby milestones and advises on how to promote healthy motor development

11 health Tamlyn Vincent highlights some alternative exercise options 19 recipes – rise and shine Sarah Graham’s all-time favourite breakfast meals from her recipe book Wholesome

24 what’s on in August and September 25 in the next issue of child magazine 26 finishing touch Anél Lewis weighs in on tackling school traffic with reluctant offspring and the benefits of car karaoke

classified ads 26 family marketplace 26 let’s party

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August/September 2017

Cape Town

Durban

Joburg

Pretoria

St Mary’s School, Waverley grahamdelacy.com

Melissa Mitchell Photography melissamitchell.co.za

Phonix capture cc phonixcapture.co.za

St Mary’s School, Waverley grahamdelacy.com

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PHOTOGRAPH: meganhancockphotography.co.za

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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August/September 2017

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letters

thank you Childmag

how to home school

On behalf of Help the Rural Child, I would like to thank you for your generous donation of books.

Through your donation, and the sale of these products in our charity shops, we are able to make a real difference in the work being done by the Goedgedacht Path out of Poverty Rural Centres (POP). These centres are a lifesaver for so many neglected rural youth.

Nicky Antonie, Director

I’d like to know if you’re able to help with home schooling registration or programmes? I currently have children aged nine, eight and six.

How can I educate them from home?

Betty Leta

food for thought reading is fun Our little ones love the beautiful photos and bright colours in Child magazine and eagerly await each new issue.

Blue Moon Montessori School taken by Alison Volpi

speech therapy Thank you for the article on apraxia of speech. [childmag. co.za/content/apraxia-speech] I must say it has been a very hard four years for our family. I can’t begin to explain how difficult it was for us to find a good speech therapist who could help our son Aiden, who is four. We finally found Dr S Ahmed who has really changed Aiden’s life forever.

Fazlin

Thank you for the informative and extremely important article on healthy tuck shops. [childmag.co.za/content/ healthy-tuck-shops] As a medical professional I unfortunately see the consequences of unhealthy eating on a daily basis. I am experiencing difficulty getting the management of a private school on board with a healthy eating programme. The more research I do, the more I’ve come to realise many private schools are reluctant to follow the healthier route.

One of the main reasons is that the tuck shop needs to service learners, visitors and parents.

Research published in the SA Journal of Clinical Nutrition shows that Grade 4 learners are unable to make healthy food choices when faced with unhealthy options.

Anonymous

Pub’s response: Sure, here are some resources to get you started: general Homeschoolers SA – sahomeschoolers.org/ Homeschool Info – homeschoolinfo.co.za Impaq – impaq.co.za Clonard Home School Curriculum – clonard.co.za/ cape town Blue Fish Academy – bluefishacademy.org/ Boost School – boostcentre.co.za Abeille Ruche – abeilleruche.co.za joburg Opti-learn – opti-learn.co.za Nkowa Education Centre – nkowa.co.za Omatas – omatas.co.za pretoria Learn@grace – learnatgrace.co.za durban Cornerstone School – cornerstoneschool.co.za

over to you Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to editor@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

whooping cough down under My parents are coming to visit us and meet their latest grandchild. Here in Australia it is a government recommendation that all contacts for new babies get a vaccination for pertussis (whooping cough) to protect the baby, as whooping cough is a problem here. My parents live on the KwaZulu-Natal south coast and have been unable to source the vaccine. I’ve called several travel clinics and doctors and all are saying the same thing – that the vaccination Adacel Quadro is unavailable from the suppliers and has been for several months.

I find it interesting that we have such a problem here with whooping cough. I did a little research and it is quite

interesting to compare the number of cases. In Western Australia we had 1 700+ cases in 2016 and over 11 000 countrywide – compared to around 10 in South Africa.

That is what the ‘anti-vaxers’ have achieved!

Anonymous Pub’s response: Thanks for highlighting this issue.

We’ve called around too and confirmed that the Adacel Quadro vaccine is out of stock countrywide. The Pertussis vaccine (for children) is however available. Our advice is that you contact your doctor and ask whether this could provide your parents with some protection in the meantime.

baby it’s cold outside!

Loved your article on camping in winter [childmag.co.za/ content/camping-cold] and definitely going to try this when the weather is cold. My boys are excited and counting the days.

Anonymous

Connect with us: childmag.co.za twitter.com/childmag instagram.com/childmagsa

what is whooping cough?

facebook.com/childmag.co.za

This bacterial infection (bordetella pertussis) is not very common, typically occurring during periodic community outbreaks. Symptoms begin as a runny nose and a mild cough for one to two weeks. Then the cough evolves into violent, uncontrollable spells that may end with vomiting, a blue or red face, or a “whoop” during the recovery inhalation. Infants may have apnea (breath holding) at the beginning of the illness and are often severely affected, with many requiring hospitalisation. The coughing spells persist for six weeks or longer.

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

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August/September 2017

subscribe to our newsletter and win Stay up to date with all our news and enter our competitions by signing up to our weekly newsletter. Subscribe at childmag.co.za

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pregnancy

dream a little dream Once you have the basics, setting up the perfect nursery is easy. TAMLYN VINCENT shares some tips.

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our new arrival will be here in just a few short months and the nesting instinct has no doubt kicked in.

But remember, planning a nursery is about more than picking out paint colours and fabric swatches – it needs to be as practical as it is pretty.

the basics Don’t get so caught up in the decorating that you forget to budget for the essentials.

First on the shopping list should be your baby’s cot. You may choose a bassinet for the first weeks of your baby’s life, but by about four months they will more than likely have grown too big for it. Safety is most important so choose a well-designed cot – air should be able to pass through any panels, and gaps shouldn’t be larger than your baby’s head. Linen is equally important. Opt for cotton bedding, which is gentle on your baby’s skin, fitted sheets and a good quality mattress.

Your next big buy should be the compactum. You’ll be changing a lot of nappies, so make sure you choose one that is at the right height for you to

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comfortably change your baby, and ensure there is plenty of storage space for things like bum cream, wet wipes and nappies.

Alternatively, a simple dresser works just as well.

One of the best investments you’ll make is a feeding chair. The number of hours spent nursing, particularly at newborn stage, demands a comfortable place to sit. Keep a small table with a night light next to your chair to help you navigate your way in the dark.

A baby monitor is a smart buy as it will give you peace of mind, especially if your child’s nursery isn’t right next to your room.

You can also get some form of temperature control, whether this is an airconditioner or a suitable fan or heater.

you are sticking to a pared-back palette, bring in some colour with vinyl wall art, canvas prints or a statement wall in a bright hue.

top tips

✻✻ Keep the sleep zone and play zones separate – avoid hanging a mobile over the cot

in the bag A few weeks before you’re due, have your hospital bag packed, ready and waiting. Here’s what you’ll need:

as this signals playtime. ✻✻ Use blackout curtains if the morning sun hits the nursery. ✻✻ If you do want to paint the room, look at soft pastels as these are calming.

✻✻ a few sets of clothes for the

✻✻ Don’t make the design of the

baby – the warmer, the better

nursery too specific to baby

✻✻ newborn or prem nappies

stage – you don’t want to have

✻✻ wet wipes and bum cream

to spend money on updating

✻✻ a dummy

trendsetting

✻✻ comfortable pyjamas for Mom

Once you have the basics covered, you can start planning the finer details of the nursery. Neutral colours are a popular choice with floral prints and leaf motifs taking centre stage. You can also bring in a natural aesthetic with indoor plants, wood panelling and organic materials. If

✻✻ nursing bras, breast pads and nipple cream

the room every year. Choose décor and colours that can grow with your child. ✻✻ If you’re short on inspiration or confused by all the choices,

✻✻ toiletries and sanitary pads

find one item, such as a lamp

✻✻ comfortable clothes in which

or piece of artwork you love,

to leave the hospital.

as inspiration for your theme.

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best for baby

baby moves Occupational therapist and soon-to-be mom of two RACHEL CAREY explains the first five motor milestones in a child’s development and why they matter.

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t’s a funny thing, being a parent. Without intending to at all, you enter a world of comparisons and competition, of measuring progress and chasing developmental targets. And it happens against all your best intentions. Had you asked me before I became a mother when I would like my child to walk, I would have confidently answered: “At roughly a year.” And yet, when I had my son I found myself getting anxious that at 10 months he wasn’t walking and my friends’ children were. Despite my clinical knowledge, some part of me felt as if he were being left behind. I had to remind myself that milestones are there only as a guide. They are not prescriptive. Of course, you need to take note when your child has not achieved a milestone within the broad norms as it could be a flag for further assessment and investigation, but what is most important is that you are giving your child ample opportunity for play in different developmentally appropriate positions and allowing for plenty of repetition for strength and skills to be consolidated. These motor milestones will help you to monitor your child’s progress and identify any areas of development in which they may need support.

What is important is not so much when [walking] happens, but that the child has had sufficient opportunity to practise all their foundation skills sufficiently before walking. tummy time (0-3 months) We call this prone extension and it is a baby’s ability to lift their head, neck and shoulders upwards against gravity while pushing down through their arms. It is a precursor to all later core stability and is very important in developing upper-limb strength. By three months, when lying on their tummies, babies may be able to lift their heads and upper chests in midline, using their forearms to support them while keeping their bottoms flat. As they get older, they will be able to hold this position for longer and by six months may even be able to stretch out their arms to lift themselves.

rolling (5-7 months)

PHOTOGRAPHS: ISTOCKPHOTO.com

Once the little ones have mastered tummy time and are able to shift their weight from side to side, they are ready to start working on rolling. Rolling is important for developing the co-contraction of the back, abdominal and oblique muscles – all needed for pelvic stability for later sitting, crawling and walking. They will usually be able to roll from their front to their back at around five to six months, and then from their back to their front from around six to seven months.

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sitting (5-9 months) Independent sitting is a broad milestone and is usually achieved between five and nine months of age. At around six months, babies may be able to sit with a straight back in a supported position and move their heads from side to side to look around. By nine months, they are usually able to pull up into a sitting position and sit unsupported on the floor, adjusting their body posture and shifting their weight to pick up and manipulate toys without losing their balance. Some support will still be needed intermittently when sitting on a less stable surface such as a carer’s lap or a bed.

crawling (9-12 months) The muscle strength your child has developed from tummy time, rolling and sitting prepares them for crawling. Being able to push through their upper limbs, hold their head up and stabilise their pelvis allows them to confidently assume a crawling position. From here, you may see them rocking forwards and backwards as they practise shifting their weight. They may free one arm at a time to reach for toys or try to scoot along on their tummy to get to objects just in front of them. Don’t be alarmed if they move backwards first – this is usually the first step before they start crawling. Between nine and 12 months, they will begin to attempt to crawl on their hands and knees, bear-walk on their hands and feet, or bottom shuffle along.

walking (10-14 months) The age at which a baby will take it’s first steps varies greatly. It usually happens sometime between 10 and 14 months. What is important is not so much when it happens, but that the child has had sufficient opportunity to practise it’s foundation skills sufficiently before walking. Mastering the early milestones already mentioned, as well as learning to pull up to standing and lowering themselves down again, are all done in preparation for walking.

tips for promoting healthy motor development:

✻✻ Encourage tummy time – and lots of it. With babies sleeping on their backs and snugly carried around in car seats, they tend not to spend enough active time on their tummies. Tummy time doesn’t only have to happen on a play mat – lie your baby on your chest or over a wedge. Use mirrors, toys and books to encourage them to lift their heads and look up. ✻✻ Positioning is key. Think about what milestone you would like your child to achieve and then make sure they are in the correct position to develop it.

Always putting them in a sitting position or holding them upright will not help with rolling. Placing them on their tummy or back on the play mat and engaging with them in this position may just do the trick. ✻✻ Don’t rely solely on soft seats, jumpers and walking rings. Remember, before your child can master a milestone they need to be doing the preparatory work. Providing a piece of equipment that allows them to do something they haven’t yet mastered, for instance moving in a walking ring, just slows down their development. ✻✻ Practice makes perfect. Repetition is vital when it comes to a baby’s development and they love it. Don’t always feel you need to be encouraging something new. Take your cue from your baby and as long as they are enjoying repeating a movement, let them continue doing it. ✻✻ Knowledge is power. It’s fun learning about child development and watching as your baby’s skill set expands. Whether you sign up to a blog or attend a workshop, growing your understanding of child development will empower you to engage better with your little one.

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dealing with difference

anxiety society Whether it’s final exams, a big sports match or a challenging extracurricular schedule, children face various pressures at school, which often lead to stress and anxiety. ANÉL LEWIS researches ways to

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manage these feelings before they become debilitating.

tress has become such an intrinsic part of modern society that it’s unsurprising children as young as four are being treated for symptoms of stress and anxiety. The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) estimates that 8–11% of children and teenagers suffer from some form of anxiety that affects their daily lives. But when should parents become concerned?

Christine Darney, a clinical psychologist based in Port Elizabeth, says that while it is normal for children to experience phases of anxiety, persistent and excessive signs of it could affect everyday functioning. Shannon Ownhouse, a Durban-based clinical psychologist, agrees saying: “Prolonged periods of stress can cause the breakdown of physical and mental health, which could lead to depression.”

Anxious children perform better in a calm, supportive and organised environment. stress or anxiety?

While they may have similar effects on a person’s ability to function, there are clear differences between stress and anxiety. Ownhouse explains that stress is a psychological response to an environmental stimulus. As such, there is usually a recognised trigger that causes a child to feel stressed. Anxiety, however, is an “exaggerated fear response” to a perceived stressor, even if this stressor is no longer present, or never existed at all. Anxiety disorders often emerge earlier than other types of mental illness, with an average onset age of 11.

triggers This generation of children is burdened by unrealistic expectations at home and at school, as well as concerns about safety, peer pressure and bullying. “Feeling isolated, overwhelmed, powerless, frustrated or inadequate when faced with these challenges elicits an anxious response of fight, flight or freeze,” says Darney, adding that children with a family history of anxiety have a greater risk of developing an anxiety disorder.

reading the signs Kerry van Zyl, an educational psychologist in Cape Town, says that parents and teachers are usually the key players in a child’s life and are generally the first to pick up that a child is struggling. The signs of stress and anxiety are often similar, but there are subtle differences. With anxiety, there may be shaking, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, sweating, stomach, neck or back pain, complaints of a tingling sensation and dizziness. Children experiencing stress, on the other hand, may have a weakened immune system and are susceptible to developing medical conditions such as high blood pressure and cardiac problems. Other physical signs of stress include body aches, tension, frequent colds, nail biting and sleeplessness.

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red flags While you may think you’re paying attention to possible red flags, stress and anxiety are easy to miss as children experience various states of both, says Darney. While it’s fairly easy to see that a clingy child may be feeling anxious, some children struggle to express their feelings and may “act out” with disruptive behaviour. Others may withdraw or isolate themselves, resulting in their anxiety being overlooked.

Samantha Kitshoff of HeartMath SA, a programme for reducing stress, highlights other behavioural changes that may indicate a problem such as frequent arguments, fighting and bullying. Anxious children may show signs of anger, boredom, frustration, fear, irritation and helplessness.

Parents should also look out for mental confusion, difficulty focusing, distraction, poor performance at school and negative thoughts. “What we might not realise is that the mental, physical and behavioural signs of stress often indicate a deeper emotional upset such as anxiety,” she says.

better with their feelings. Another way of managing anxiety is to schedule downtime that encourages mindfulness such as a walk along the beach or in the park.

show support Anxiety can manifest in various forms and degrees of severity and should not be dismissed by caregivers and teachers, says Van Zyl. “Children will benefit from a parent, adult or teacher who communicates a level of understanding of what they are feeling, shows empathy and compassion, and indicates that they will walk the path with them to help them manage these feelings.” Van Zyl adds that it’s helpful to keep routines and ensure your child enjoys a healthy diet and gets enough sleep and exercise.

Children must also be taught how to talk to someone when they feel overwhelmed or anxious. “Show children that it is okay to feel stressed, talk through the experience and discuss how best to deal with it as this will give the child effective coping strategies they can eventually implement independently as they develop,” says Van Zyl.

when to seek help Ownhouse advises parents to monitor their children. If they are still able to function at home, socially and in the classroom, then they are managing to cope with their stress and anxiety. However, if they are struggling in any of these areas – if their school performance is affected or they withdraw from their friends – consider seeking psychological help. Darney says a child with five or more of the following symptoms that persist for at least four weeks should be referred for further assessment: pessimism; negative thoughts; frequent crying; constant worrying; irritability; aggression; restlessness; frequent complaints of stomach ache or headaches; refusal to go to school; avoidance behaviours; bedwetting and sleep difficulties; not wanting to attend social functions; nightmares or night terrors; procrastination; poor memory and concentration; eating disturbances; demanding attention; and becoming easily frustrated.

coping mechanisms Ownhouse suggests “grounding techniques” to help children manage their anxiety. These focus on using as many senses as possible to distract the brain from the perceived stressor. For example, in a classroom setting, a child can list five things they can see, four things they can hear, three things they can touch, two things they can smell and one thing they can taste. Doing this will help them to be more mindful of their “here and now” instead of the cause of their anxiety. Calm and structured environments, both at home and at school, also help to alleviate anxiety. “Anxious children perform better in a calm, supportive and organised classroom environment,” insists Darney. “An ideal situation would be for the child’s teacher to maintain authority in a positive manner, using reason and respect rather than fear or punishment.” Van Zyl agrees, adding: “Optimal development is encouraged in an environment that is perceived as safe and secure.”

At home, parents can introduce a “worry jar”. Ask your child to draw pictures of things that make them feel anxious and pop these into the jar so that they don’t have to “carry” them around with them. Offering a place where children can offload their anxieties helps them to cope

one breath at a time

HeartMath SA’s Samantha Kitshoff explains that our emotions have a bigger impact on us than we realise.

“Emotions affect our energy levels, body, thoughts, relationships, behaviour and performance in general.”

With this in mind, HeartMath SA has developed simple techniques to help children and adults cope with stress. These techniques are based on research that shows how emotions affect heart-rhythm patterns.

When people experience feelings of anxiety, their heart rhythm becomes irregular, causing the three parts of the brain to fall out of sync, impairing their ability to think clearly, make sound decisions, recall information or communicate effectively. Conversely, uplifting emotions such as appreciation, confidence and love create even heart rhythms. These techniques are particularly effective in helping older children cope with exam anxiety and making big decisions. step one Refocus your attention on your heart and change how you breathe. Slow and rhythmic breaths create the even heart waves required for calm. step two Inhale for five seconds and exhale for five seconds, imagining your breath flowing in and out of your heart or chest area as you breathe. step three Imagine a positive feeling such as appreciation for a loved one or a sense of achievement, and focus on growing that feeling. Doing this makes it possible to consciously shift from chaotic incoherence to calm coherence by changing the heart-rhythm pattern.

For support and professional help, contact sadag.org

For more ways to help children cope with stress, go to childmag.co.za/ c o n t e n t / m a n a g e - y o u r - c h i l d ’s - s t r e s s magazine durban

health

f it for the whole family If exercise has become a chore, it’s time to think

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out the box, says TAMLYN VINCENT.

ome people love it and for others it somehow always manages to fall to the bottom of the to-do list, but exercise is an important part of life. The physical benefits aside, regular exercise helps with brain development and functionality, says Simon McQueen, who runs an extramural movement programme in Cape Town. But if you loathe the idea of lacing up your running shoes or find sweating it out on the stationary bike endlessly boring, then consider trying one of these family-friendly activities.

indoor rock climbing Rock climbing, even in an indoor climbing gym, is a total adrenaline rush and offers myriad physical benefits, including improving cardiovascular fitness and upper body strength. Climbing is also a good mental workout as you need to practise your problemsolving skills to navigate your way up the wall. Being a supervised indoor activity, it’s safe for the whole family to try and you don’t need any of the expensive equipment required for real mountaineering.

yoga With challenges plaguing our society and even affecting our children, yoga has become an increasingly popular pastime. Considered a moving meditation, yoga helps you to ground your energy and shift your focus away from the challenges of the day. It also helps to improve balance, co-ordination, strength and flexibility in a non-competitive environment. If you can’t afford to practise at a studio, search online for some basic yoga postures to try at home.

Also be on the lookout for free yoga sessions in public spaces such as parks and beaches.

trampolining You may think the trampoline is there solely for your children’s enjoyment, but it’s one of the best forms of exercise you can do. Studies have shown that 10 minutes spent jumping on a trampoline burns the same number of calories as a 30-minute jog. And unlike running,

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it’s a low-impact activity, meaning you’re not putting your joints under too much strain. It also works every part of the body. For children, it is a fun way to boost fitness levels and helps to improve balance and flexibility. Either invest in a trampoline at home or take the family to your nearest trampoline park, many of which offer fitness classes too.

rollerblading Rollerblading was all the rage in the ’90s and seems to be making a comeback with more and more rollerbladers heading to parks and promenades, and a number of indoor skate rinks opening for business. There are even Facebook groups dedicated to this pastime! If you want to improve balance and co-ordination while burning fat, it’s a great choice – just make sure you wear a helmet, especially if you’re a beginner.

stand-up-paddleboarding (SUP) What was once just a fun holiday activity has become the latest fitness craze. SUP offers a complete body workout and is particularly good for anyone wanting to strengthen their core muscles. Hire a board at your local sports or surf shop, or join a group class – you’ll be hooked after your first session. Parents can also take their children along, letting them ride on the back of the board. Just make sure they are wearing a life jacket.

keep at it

When it comes to being active, children who feel like they are part of the decisionmaking process are more likely to keep up the habit. McQueen suggests some ways to keep them motivated: ✻✻ Add active pursuits to events where you would usually be sedentary. Try a short hike before brunch or walk for five minutes before sitting down for a picnic on the beach or in the park. ✻✻ If you live close to your child’s school, walk or ride there. ✻✻ Have a family dance party instead of a movie or game night. ✻✻ Join in your local park run so children can enjoy some fresh air and a sense of community. ✻✻ Take the competition out of exercise and encourage participation rather than results. Children will be more inclined to stay motivated if they don’t feel burdened by expectations.

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education

the ABCs of your child’s future education As a parent, there is a lot you can do to support, nurture and prepare your child for a successful future. SAMANTHA PAGE investigates the options, locally and abroad.

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t has been widely reported that today’s parents have more choice than any generation before them. These moms and dads live in a world in which they can choose from a variety of television channels, stream movies online, organise their lives from a mobile device, or gain access to hundreds of music options at a finger’s tap, and when it comes to educating their child, there’s a veritable smorgasbord of educational delights on offer.

From the moment a baby is born, friends, family and society, whether collectively or independently, start planting the seed that earlier is better when it comes to choosing a school, but there’s so much to consider. Should you opt for public or private, full day or half day, Montessori, Waldorf or homeschooling, and what about single-sex versus co-ed education? And when it comes to primary school and high school, the choices deepen still to include school culture and your child’s individual needs and interests.

breaking down education in SA

I had no idea how competitive parents get when it comes to getting their children into the school of their choice.

According to a 2015 study conducted by the Department of Management and Marketing at the University of Johannesburg, coupled with the plethora of choices, current-day parents have high expectations of the schools where their children are educated, so they feel compelled to “shop around” and weigh up all the criteria, often looking beyond the now to their options for tertiary education.

Parents are also not forced to enrol their child at the nearest school, but have the choice to sign up at the school of their preference.

Since 1996, the South African Schools Act has recognised two broad categories of schools: public and independent. According to the Act, all former state and state-aided schools were deemed to be public schools, and all private schools were absorbed into the independent schools category. It’s interesting to note that the number of independent schools in South Africa has more than tripled from 518 in 1994 to 1 571 in 2012 – a number that is no doubt higher today. While the growth could be attributed to many parents losing faith in the public school system owing to dysfunctional institutions, large class sizes and under-qualified teachers, it’s also fair to conclude that the burgeoning middle class wants high quality education for their children and it is prepared to pay for it.

“I had no idea how competitive parents get when it comes to getting their children into the school of their choice,” confesses one Cape Town mom after she witnessed two dads nearly come to blows in her son’s preschool parking lot because both parents applied to a school in Cape Town’s southern suburbs and only one child was accepted. Both parents’

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private primary school

private high school

public primary/ high school

one year of study at university (state owned)

R45 000

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R77 000

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PHOTOGRAPH: ISTOCKPHOTO.com

What one year of education in South Africa will cost (source: Old Mutual)

choice was largely influenced by the school’s strong sports culture, but one boy came from a “feeder” preschool, which could have been the deciding factor, says the mom.

A feeder preschool can be one of a network of schools within a designated catchment area, which works in conjunction with a primary or secondary school to increase a child’s chances of receiving a placement. Many parents believe that a successful education begins when a child is placed at the right feeder preschool, while others think that the principal, teachers and school culture have as much to do with making the right choice.

Some of the other considerations are proximity, transportation, special interests (arts, culture, music), curriculum structure, amenities (gym, technology, library), reputation and, of course, school fees.

understanding matric If the public school system seems inferior, parents will keep factoring in private education and, if they are also thinking long-term and laying the groundwork for entry into a tertiary institution, private seems like a good option, but there are also some snags to this choice.

Most learners in South Africa write the National Senior Certificate (NSC) exam in Grade 12, but some private schools use the Independent Examinations Board (IEB) exam, which must be certified by Umalusi, the national qualification authority. Considered cognitively more demanding than the NSC, the IEB does prepare learners better for tertiary education, but it’s also a tougher exam, making it more difficult to achieve distinctions and university admission. A Bachelor’s Pass South African Matric (formerly matric exemption) is essential for entry into Bachelor’s Pass Criteria a South African university. Our universities also require all prospective students to sit for the National Benchmark home language Test, which is an entrance exam that assesses linguistic, numerical and mathematical ability.

When it comes to choosing a school, academic achievement is a natural consideration and most parents four other higher credit subjects and learners will be looking at which subjects are on offer and whether those choices will open the right doors for further study or employment down the line. It’s also fair, however, to thoroughly investigate the school climate two other subjects and culture, which is less likely to be reported on, as well as the level of innovation and transformation. Plus, given the stress many learners are under, identifying what emotional support the school offers in the way of a career or guidance counsellor is equally important. (source: Old Mutual)

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is the grass greener abroad?

The deeply troubling atmosphere at South African universities during the #FeesMustFall protests had learners and parents thinking more seriously about studying abroad. If you’re planning undergraduate studies overseas, your South African matric will require some kind of “top up”, depending on the institution to which you are applying. While you won’t have to rewrite matric, you’ll probably have to supplement your academic record to qualify to apply. These are three possible routes: ✻✻ Cambridge International Examinations (CIE) Grade 8, 9 or 10 students who are certain they want to study abroad after school should consider moving to a private school that offers CIE. These examinations allow students to complete their AS (Advanced Subsidiary) and A (Advanced) Levels, which are recognised locally and internationally. ✻✻ Scholastic Aptitude Tests (SATs) SATs are America’s standardised tests that students write in their final year of high school.

University acceptance depends almost entirely on these results. ✻✻ American College Testing (ACT) exams This exam is like the SATs, but includes a science component in addition to the reading, writing and mathematics covered in the SATs. ACTs and SATs are considered equal by overseas universities.

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education

#FeesMustFall raised many relevant and controversial discussions, but arguably one of the most interesting came from trend analyst Dion Chang. “Students might be fighting the wrong battle in the right war,” declared Chang in a podcast with ebizradio.com. “The value of the degree is decreasing internationally as companies are beginning to search for staff that are adaptable and able to deal with multiple skills in the workplace.”

In 2015, top accounting firm Ernst & Young decided to remove degree classification from its entry requirements as it believes there’s “no evidence” that university equals success. While academics will still play an important role in hiring, online testing will also be a factor in determining the candidate’s hybrid skills such as critical thinking and problem solving. “Experience,” argues the Harvard Crimson student newspaper, “could become the new currency driving post-matric learners towards a future that doesn’t include a university degree.” Trade schools and tertiary institutions offering learnerships in plumbing, construction and electrical work are on the rise and support Chang’s view that future companies will be leaning towards makers, not managers.

looking to the future Parents are increasingly wondering whether our schools and educational institutions are doing enough to foster these hybrid skills and if the school curriculum supports the development of individuals who have adequately mastered the academics as well as the varied skills required in the future workplace. They might need to consider pushing beyond the conventional measures of success and achievement when thinking about their child’s education, and opt for schools that are developing individuals who are not just certificated, but educated in the true sense of the word.

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From the moment a baby is born, friends, family and society, whether collectively or independently, start planting the seed that earlier is better when it comes to choosing a school.

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PHOTOGRAPH: meganhancockphotography.co.za

how important is a university degree?

getaway

48 hours in

abu dhabi LISA Mc NAMARA recently took a whirlwind trip to Abu Dhabi and shares her thrilling experience in entertainment for the whole family

this Middle Eastern mecca.

a

Whether you’re a mom, dad, toddler or teenager, there is no chance of getting bored in Abu Dhabi. The fun starts at Yas Island. As the name suggests, this is truly an island of entertainment offering beaches; water sports; golf; a racing circuit; Kartzone; a drag racing centre; restaurants; and a mall. One of my travel highlights, however, was Ferrari World, home to the world’s fastest rollercoaster (tick) and the highest ride on the planet (another tick). Even more was Yas Waterworld, with more than 40 rides and slides. I could have spent an entire day there.

bu Dhabi, the enigmatic capital of the UAE, is blessed with an action-packed calendar, including a Grand Prix, the World Cup of Sailing and a PGA golf championship. Plus there is no shortage of cultural experiences to choose from, be it music concerts, food fairs or heritage gems.

And let’s not forget the highly anticipated opening of the Louvres for all those art aficionados. All of this and a flying time of less than eight hours from Joburg, and it’s a wonder more families don’t make the city their base, even if just for 48 hours en route to their final holiday destination.

cultural bucket list

PHOTOGRAPHs: ISTOCKPHOTO.COM | Sheraton Abu Dhabi Hotel & Resort

YAS WATERWORLD ABU DHABI

where to stay No trip to Abu Dhabi is complete without a walk along the Corniche (similar to a promenade). While you’re there, book into the Sheraton Abu Dhabi Hotel & Resort, one of the oldest hotels in the city with views overlooking the Arabian Gulf. Steeped in history, this five-star hotel boasts beautifully manicured gardens, three outdoor pools, plus a wonderful space where children, from toddlers to teenagers, can swim and play, all within sipping distance of the Pool Bar for parents.

The hotel is also a 10-minute walk from the beach, but just steps away from the languid lagoon.

Another must-see is the Emirates Palace on the West End of the Corniche. Stay at the beautiful Hotel Bab Al Qasr with its impeccable rooms, gourmet dining options and state-of-the-art spa and gym. My favourite spot in the hotel was the swimming pool. With the temperature reaching an average of 35ºC every day, I relished the opportunity to take an afternoon dip, while enjoying a cold G&T.

getting around Abu Dhabi is safe (really, really safe) and travelling from one place to the next is easy; just hail a taxi. Prompt and professional, taxis are an affordable way to travel, thanks to the low petrol costs. If you want to get a bit of exercise, wait for the temperatures to drop in the evening and take a stroll along the Corniche – yes, you can walk around at night!

the food The people of the Emirates are gracious, generous folk who love to feed their guests. I ate the most delicious food all day, every day – think plates and plates of fattoush and tabbouleh, and the sweetest dates. While there is plenty of fine dining on offer, the local food outlets and markets are the best place to sample the city’s culinary delights. magazine durban

The UAE takes two things very seriously – faith and falcons, which is why a visit to the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque and the Abu Dhabi Falcon Hospital were on my travel wish list.

Considered one of the most important architectural treasures of contemporary UAE society, the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque has the capacity to house more than 40 000 worshippers. More impressive than its size is its attention to detail – think walls inlayed with gems and mother-ofpearl, the world’s largest hand-knotted carpet and magnificent chandeliers that would make Liberace’s eyes water.

Having watched The Birds, a 1960s Alfred Hitchcock horror-thriller, my bird phobia is highly developed, so our visit to the Abu Dhabi Falcon Hospital was somewhat terrifying for me, although very interesting. Abu Dhabi is located on a main migration route for falcons. Generations ago, the Bedouins captured the birds and used them to hunt for meat during the winter months, releasing them back into the wild in spring. Falcons meant survival. Today the falcon is a protected species in the UAE and places like the Falcon Hospital exist to protect not only these birds, but also the traditions and heritage they represent.

good to know

Etihad Airways is the national airline of the United Arab Emirates and currently offers a range of 2-for-1 deals on hotel stays and activities. An added bonus of flying with Etihad is their on-board nanny – a dream-come-true for parents. Every Flying Nanny has a magic bag of games and activities to keep children entertained.

They’ll even watch your little one if you need to go to the restroom or have a sleep.

Etihad is also a good choice for those travelling to America. The airline arranges pre-clearance at Abu Dhabi International Airport enabling you to clear customs and inspections before you depart and check your baggage straight through so that when you arrive in the States, you’re treated like a domestic passenger.

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resource

w

hether you want beautiful images to decorate the walls of your home, a record of your children’s developmental milestones, or poignant pictures to send to grandparents overseas, at the end of the day we all want to leave behind a slice of ourselves for posterity. But great photographs require willing subjects and, of course, a professional eye behind the lens.

snap happy

We’ve all seen those Facebook posts depicting cringe-worthy family photo shoots. If you don’t want to end up as another internet meme, father of three CRAIG BISHOP offers some advice.

SARAH-JANE PHOTOGRAPHY

let Mom take charge

ANTOINETTE PHOTOGRAPHY

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A warning to dads: if you want things to run smoothly on the day, let Mom have her way. She will have done way more social media research into the subject than you could believe possible from one person and, besides, she has probably been dressing her kids and you since the day she first stole your heart. Plus, it is typically moms who book the sessions, according to Cape Town-based photographer Carrie Grant. “Moms tend to get much more involved than dads,” says Grant. “Dads are usually told what to wear and when to show up,” she explains.

That is not to say our role is unimportant. “Dads are the best at getting children to loosen up and have fun. The more interactive dads are, the better the sessions tend to go,” adds Grant.

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proper preparation is key to success From screaming babies to sulking “threenagers”, it is vitally important you know what you are in for when gearing up for a family shoot, says Grant, who once had to hurl down her camera to pick up a toddler terrified by the sudden appearance of dogs during a shoot on the scenic Alphen Trail. “The mom had mentioned that her children weren’t too keen on dogs, but she hadn’t said they would be so petrified, which is why it’s a good idea to have a conversation about the details of the session with your photographer ahead of time.” Most photographers provide their clients with a session guide or an FAQ sheet, which offers tips on what to wear, how to prepare the children (and themselves) and what to expect during the session.

the benefits of bribery Durban-based photographer Sarah-Jane van Heerden says that when the going gets tough with toddlers (as it inevitably does), she isn’t averse to bribery – but pick your timing. “Never engage in cajoling before a session – the bribe has to be something children ‘work’ towards for the end of the shoot,” she says, adding that should the child need a little coaxing mid-session, mini marshmallows are her go-to. “They’re quick to eat and aren’t messy,” she says.

“For baby and newborn shoots, I always ask Mom to keep them awake for about an hour before the session begins and feed them as they arrive at the studio.

A well-fed, tired babe is easier to photograph.” For toddlers, there are two rules of thumb to avoid a meltdown: Don’t give them sugar before the shoot and keep them off the iPad unless you want a third world war to erupt.

RENTIA SMITH

MELISSA MITCHELL PHOTOGRAPHY

have a vision Before you decide on a photographer, have an idea of what you want your images to look like. “It’s important for parents to view the photographer’s portfolio and style of photography before booking,” says Durban-based photographer Megan Hancock, who prefers shoots where families are interacting with each other as opposed to taking staged shots. If you do opt for more posed pictures, Hancock warns against trying to elicit a smile from your child by saying “cheese!”. “This is the worst thing to do as it just creates a fake smile where the mouth is pulled sideways rather than upwards. I like to put Mom and Dad on the spot and get them to dance behind me and pull funny faces in an effort to get the child to smile naturally,” she says.

CLAUDIA DE NOBREGA PHOTOGRAPHY

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resource

wardrobe 101 Remember, this is a family shoot, so keep things casual. “The clothes you wear must represent who you are and who your family is,” says Joburg-based photographer Robyn Davie. Don’t be shy to throw on your favourite pair of jeans and a comfy grey jersey. And instead of wearing matching ensembles – white T-shirts and jeans are very outdated – pick outfits that complement each other. Wearing similar hues is one idea.

Most importantly, wear the right socks!

“Nothing throws a portrait off more than glaring white socks peeking through the bottom of a photo,” says Davie. Always pair dark shoes with dark socks. If you love print, Davie advises choosing a less busy design for the day. “Your eye should go to the faces in the portrait, not the clothes.”

MEGAN HANCOCK PHOTOGRAPHY

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studio vs location

Most photographers will have a preference and both have their pros and cons. Here’s what you need to know: ✻✻ Indoor or studio shoots allow for a more controlled environment and more privacy, but are limited in terms of scenic backdrops. ✻✻ Outdoor shoots, whether in your family home, an autumnal forest or at a lakeside picnic area, allow for more creativity and spontaneity. ✻✻ At an outdoor shoot a photographer can harness the warm effect of natural light, which is particularly good at sunrise and sunset. ✻✻ An indoor shoot isn’t affected by the weather, dust or passers-by. You can also capture magical everyday moments at home such as playing Lego with the children, baking cupcakes with Granny, or simply lazing on a rug in the lounge.

TWINKLE STAR PHOTOGRAPHY

TARA KELLY

checklist

What to remember when planning a family shoot: 1. Make sure the children are well rested and have full tummies before the session.

2. Bring their favourite toy, blanket or any other prop you can use to divert tantrums.

3. Pack snacks – the healthier, the better.

4. Include a complete change of clothes for toddlers, or anyone else likely to need it!

5. Leave plenty of time to get ready. A chaotic arrival only results in a chaotic session.

address book cape town

melissamitchell.co.za

Carrie Grant Photography

Sam Swiatek samswiatek.co.za

carriegrantphotography.co.za

Sarah-Jane Photography

Claudia De Nobrega Photography

sarahjanephotography.co.za

claudiadenobrega.com

Tara Kelly Photography in

Jeanine Bresler jeaninebresler.com

Hillcrest tarakelly.co.za

Julia Janse Van Vuuren

gauteng

julia-jansevanvuuren.co.za

Andrew Howes Photography

Kelda Lund Photography

ahphotography.co.za

keldalund@gmail.com

Antoinette Photography

Marguerite Oelofse Photography

antoinettephotography.co.za

margueriteoelofse.com

Corne-Ann Photography

Twinkle Star Photography

corne-annphotography.com

sam@twinklestar.co.za

Graham De Lacy grahamdelacy.com

durban

Miss Marshall Photography

Megan Hancock Photography

missmarshallphotography.com

meganhancockphotography.co.za

Photo Paige photopaige.co.za

Melissa Mitchell Photography

Rentia Smith rentiasmith.com

SAM SWIATEK

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recipes

rise and shine There’s no better way to kick-start your day than with a brain-boosting breakfast. Chef and mom of two SARAH GRAHAM serves up some breakfast inspiration for the whole family in her new book Wholesome.

everything granola aka chocolate cinnamon buckwheat granola I’ve probably eaten my weight of this gorgeous, golden, crunchy granola long ago, even for supper, and Sophie would be hot on my heels. (I think I’m at the stage when panic sets in if supplies run low.) Also, you should know that buckwheat has nothing whatsoever to do with wheat. It’s a gluten-free, grain-like seed that’s high in protein, budget-friendly and happy to be toasted, like it is here, or simmered gently on the stove to make a creamy porridge, or stashed in a jar in the fridge overnight with all sorts of other goodies, waiting to transform into delicious Buckwheat Bircher Muesli.

Makes about 24 servings | Preparation time 15 minutes | Baking time 30–45 minutes ingredients 2 cups whole, rolled oats (certified gluten-free if necessary) 2 cups buckwheat 1 heaped cup raw mixed nuts (I like pecan nuts, almonds and cashews) 1 cup mixed sunflower and pumpkin seeds 1 heaped cup coconut shavings 1 cup dried cranberries (no added sugar), to add after the granola has cooked and cooled

method 1 Preheat the oven to 150°C and prepare two large non-stick baking trays.

2 Place the oats, buckwheat, nuts, seeds and coconut shavings in a large mixing bowl.

3 Heat the coconut oil until it’s liquid, then add it to a small mixing jug along with the remaining binding ingredients. Stir well and pour over the granola mixture. Mix well. If everything is not moist and well coated, add another cup hot water.

4 Spread the mixture onto the baking trays and bake for 30–45 minutes, or until fragrant and golden. Swap the baking trays around halfway through the cooking process if they are not baking evenly, stirring the mixture gently to further help with even baking.

5 Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before adding the cranberries and transferring to an airtight container. The granola lasts up to four weeks – alternatively store half in the freezer for use at a later date.

Serves 4 | Preparation time 10 minutes | Cooking time 15–20 minutes ingredients for the cappuccino ganache 1 Tbsp raw cacao powder cup coconut oil cup coconut cream 1–2 tsp maple syrup (or rice malt syrup) tsp instant espresso powder for the pancakes 1 cup milk (or coconut milk) 1 cup buckwheat flour 2 eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 Tbsp honey or alternative healthy natural sweetener (try a little coconut blossom sugar or rice malt syrup) to serve Fresh banana slices or berries Chopped, roasted hazelnuts or pecan nuts method 1 To make the cappuccino ganache, combine all the ingredients in a heavy-based pan and cook over very low heat until melted. Whisk together until smooth and set aside. Reheat just before serving if necessary.

2 To make the pancakes, whisk all the ingredients together until you have a smooth batter.

3 Heat a dollop of butter or coconut oil in a non-stick pan and pour in about cup of the mixture at a time. Swirl the pan to spread the mixture out as thinly as possible. When the pancake begins to bubble and the underside is lightly golden, flip it over and cook on the reverse side. It takes 3–4 minutes per pancake. Set the cooked pancakes aside on a warmed dinner plate and continue until you have used all the batter.

4 Serve with the warm cappuccino ganache and top with the fruit and roasted nuts.

To cook these as fluffier American-style pancakes, add

tsp baking powder to the batter.

Add a handful to baked fruit for an almost-instant crumble topping.

To make your own buckwheat flour at home, blitz 1 cup whole buckwheat in your food processor until fine, then pass through a sieve to remove any lumps.

about Wholesome

PHOTOGRAPHS: Curtis Gallon

©

Penguin Random House South Africa (Pty) Ltd 2017

to bind everything together cup coconut oil cup honey (or rice malt syrup) cup hot water 1 heaped tsp raw cacao powder (optional) 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp ground ginger

chocolate buckwheat crêpes with cappuccino ganache

As a mom, Sarah is passionate about cooking nutritious, tasty food that the whole family can enjoy, which is exactly what she offers in her latest book.

More than just a collection of recipes, Wholesome is a guide to living well and eating mindfully. It’s published

by Struik Lifestyle and is available at all leading book stores at a recommended retail price of R280. magazine durban

August/September 2017

19

fashion

wear it

From gender-specific colours to character clothes and the latest designer threads, the psychological effect of clothing on your children can run a lot deeper than you think, says AMY MAC IVER.

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y first shopping expedition with my daughter was a disaster. It was something I’d been looking forward to since I found out I was pregnant with a girl, and at age four I thought the time had come. To say our tastes differed somewhat is an understatement. I liked all the pretty, sparkly, frilly things in the girls’ department; she marched straight to the boys’ section and chose a pair of bright green corduroys and a long sleeve black T-shirt.

We both left the store empty handed and in a sulk. After giving myself a good talking to about nurturing and encouraging her independence, I decided to try again.

This time she chose a pair of boys’ navy pyjamas emblazoned with cars. I smiled through gritted teeth, handed over my credit card, and made my husband promise if anybody asked we would say they were handme-downs from her brother. But then I began to question why I was reacting this way. Had I been programmed by the marketers of children’s fashion to believe my daughter should only wear pink outfits decorated with kittens, rainbows and unicorns?

This type of gender stereotyping goes back decades, but it hasn’t always been the case. In the 1800s both boys and girls wore white dresses until the age of six or seven, when they also had their first haircut. It wasn’t until the mid-19th century that pastel colours, in particular pink and blue, made an entrance, but they were not gender signifiers until just before World War 1, when it was decided that pink – the stronger colour – was for boys, and blue – considered to be more dainty – was prettier for girls. Today’s colour dictate wasn’t established until the 1940s when manufacturers

and retailers interpreted and responded to consumers’ preferences. By the ‘80s it became big business when the pink-blue divide stretched to nappies, linen, décor and toys.

According to American historian and author of Pink and Blue: telling the boys from the girls in America, Jo Paoletti, children only become aware of their gender between the ages of three and four, and do not realise it’s permanent until age six or seven. So how much of this gender stereotyping is being forced on them well before they even understand it? Clinical psychologist Dr Jana Lazarus of Change Matters in Kalk Bay says: “Children are like sponges and will pick up on the expectations and attitudes of their significant others.

That’s why it is important to give children the space in which to be themselves. If you want to, dress your little girls in pink when they are babies, but honour their personal preferences as they start voicing them.

Forcing a particular look on your child can indeed make them feel that ‘blue for boys’ is some kind of life rule.

And yes, this is similar to other preconceived ideas like housework is for girls, and boys don’t cry.”

Enter the age of social media, and arguably the greatest factors affecting children’s fashion today: social media and young celebrity influence. According to international market research company Technavio, the childrenswear sector is expected to grow more than 6% by 2020, far exceeding the anticipated growth in both the women’s and menswear sectors for the same period. MD of Ackermans Charl Cronje says: “The advent of technology and rise of social media have also been huge contributors to this growth, specifically in the pre-teen category. Thanks to

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Dress by jennidezigns.clothing | Image by chameleonstudios.co.za

your way

social platforms such as Instagram and technology such as smartphones, satellite TV and tablets, children now have immediate access to international trends. This has led to an increasingly discerning and style-conscious young customer, with the pester power to sway their parents’ purchasing decisions.”

According to retailers, one of the 2017 childrenswear trends is the mini-me – drawing inspiration from celebrities such as Kim Kardashian and her daughter North, kids want to wear the same styles as mom and dad, and there is a demand for smaller sized versions of what adults are wearing. Another is the activewear trend, which has seen “athleisure” become massively popular among parents, and children have followed suit, enjoying the comfort and functionality of the clothing.

So amid all these fashion decisions, is there still room for good old-fashioned superhero costumes, princess crowns and capes? Johannesburg-based preprimary teacher Taryn Brooke believes it’s essential that children get to dress up. “The world of dress up plays a huge role in fantasy and imaginative play, which are vital for a child’s development. To put on a crown and fairy costume or a superhero outfit provides children with the opportunity to step out of what they are comfortable with, gain confidence and become whatever they want to be, all the while learning valuable skills such as problem-solving, social skills and working together.”

Cape Town psychologist Saskia Wolfaardt agrees.

“For younger children, fantasy is an important part of getting to know the world, and they may play out some of these fantasies through dressing up. They are playing – not choosing an identity. It is also important for children to feel they can differ from you – that even though pink is your favourite colour, green can be theirs.

This helps them to find their own place in the world with confidence.”

While acknowleging the importance of dressing up, most nursery schools ban fantasy clothing from being worn to school. But this is largely for practical reasons.

Brooke says: “capes, high heels and long flowing pieces of material hanging off princess dresses are seen as dangerous and could hook on to jungle gyms as kids race by.”

magazine durban

Six months down the line, I can say that apart from the occasional wrangle I allow my daughter to choose her clothing, and I very seldom see her in something I personally would have chosen. When I do, I make sure I take a pic for Instagram. Now I just need to come to terms with her latest request to chop off her lovely long hair.

what to wear to school?

✻✻ You can be sure your child will come home covered in glitter, glue, paint or mud so don’t dress her in anything fancy. Buy long-lasting clothes that can handle being scrubbed and soaked to get rid of stains. ✻✻ Elastic waistbands, while not trendy, are best for young children who are still learning to go to the toilet on their own. ✻✻ Choose an appropriate fit – clothes that are too big or too small will not be comfortable and will get in the way of their concentration. ✻✻ Proper shoes – flip-flops and strappy sandals are cute, but can cause children to trip while running and playing.

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get organised

move

It’s ranked as one of the most stressful experiences in life, so it’s not surprising that people, particularly parents, approach moving day with some trepidation. JESSICA BAXTER looks at ways to survive your move with your sanity intact.

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y husband and I are in the process of moving, which is equal parts exciting and exhausting, especially with two small children to contend with, one of which likes to unpack boxes for a game of hide-and-seek, and the other, who is in the throes of teething, chews on everything he can get his tiny hands on. Fortunately we both love a challenge and just happen to be pretty organised – and organisation is key to a successful move.

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Whether you’ve lived in your home for one year or 10, you’ll be amazed by how much stuff you have accumulated, so don’t leave packing to the last minute. The moment that “sold” sign goes up you should start collecting boxes in preparation for moving day. While you can buy boxes, they are an unnecessary expense. Instead, ask your local grocery store if they have any going spare, encourage friends, family and colleagues to keep their unwanted delivery boxes, and keep an eye out for people moving into your neighbourhood whose boxes you can use. You’ll also need plenty of bubble wrap or newspaper (the pocket-friendly choice) in which to wrap your breakables, masking tape and a heavyduty marker for labelling boxes. Materials aside, you need to make a to-do list. From booking a moving company and hiring a cleaning service to having all your repairs done, there are a lot of things to consider when you make the big trek.

spring clean Once you’ve collected your boxes, go through the house room by room and start filling them. It’s easy to become sentimental, but moving house is an opportunity to declutter.

“This is a great time to let go of all those things you no longer love, want or need,” says professional organiser Judith Penny. “Remember, this is a new chapter so take the time to get rid of items you don’t like, or that you know won’t work in your new home,” she adds.

If you have linen, blankets and towels you never use, donate them to charity. Clear out your children’s toy box and wardrobes and take anything they’ve outgrown or become bored with to a children’s home or hospital. Trawl through your kitchen cupboards and keep any broken appliances aside for people who may be able to make use of the parts.

Once you’ve cleared out, you can start packing the things you’re keeping but won’t need in the weeks leading up to the move so as to get a head start – but timing is key. “I don’t advise packing too far in advance,” says Penny. “Letting boxes pile up in your home is disruptive and will make you feel as if you’re living in a storage space.”

divide and conquer “Don’t tackle packing alone! Get everyone in the house on board and delegate tasks where you can,” says Penny. “Older children can take ownership of their rooms and partners can sort through the garage, garden shed and outdoor areas.” Enlist the help of family and friends too and, if the budget allows, consider hiring a professional to help you manage the load.

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PHOTOGRAPH: ISTOCKPHOTO.com

on the

practical pointers

coping with change People often underestimate the emotional impact of a move, says Penny. Settling into a new home is an adjustment for everyone, particularly children. “It’s really important to explain to children what is happening and to make it a positive experience for them. Take them to see the new house before you move in and let them choose their bedrooms to make them feel part of the process.” Come moving day, try to keep to routine if possible – meal times and nap time need to stay the same.

welcome home You’ve survived packing up the old home and now you’re ready to settle into the new one. If you’re faced with a mountain of boxes, don’t let this overwhelm you, unpack the essentials first. “Make sure there’s linen for the beds, a kettle and mugs for tea, and clothes for work and school,” says Penny who recommends getting the children’s rooms organised first to help them adjust more quickly.

reduce

Limit your moving load by donating unwanted or unused goods. Many charities will arrange free collection of anything in working order at a time that suits you.

Salvation Army – free collection of anything you no longer want or use salvationarmy.org.za For Good – connecting people to causes, fill in what you want to donate, they’ll find the right charity and arrange collection forgood.co.za Charity SA – lists several charity organisations and contact details across the country charitysa.co.za Hospice – hospice has shops countrywide selling second-hand goods to raise funds for the care of terminally ill patients hpca.co.za Robin Hood Foundation – collects second-hand clothing and toiletries for new mums and babies robinhoodfoundation.co.za

reuse

When your old stuff doesn’t fit in with your new home instead of binning it, consider giving it a makeover. Upcycling has become a hot trend and a simple Google search

magazine durban

will not only yield loads of ideas on bringing a well-loved piece of furniture back to life, but also list several companies that can do this for you, if you lack the creative inspiration or the time. Think colourful paint jobs, new upholstery in funky fabrics and modern designs printed onto wooden headboards, for a much more budget-friendly price tag than new furniture.

recycle

You can save the environment and help your local school or community by recycling milk and juice cartons; newspapers; magazines; junk mail; office paper; school books; telephone directories; cereal and toothpaste boxes; cardboard boxes; gift-wrap; toilet paper rolls; and paper bags.

These can be placed into your green Ronnie bags for kerbside collection or in your nearest Ronnie Bank located at over 2 000 schools and communities nationwide.

Ronnie Banks are large bright green containers provided by Mpact Recycling to schools, communities and churches that allow them to raise funds through the collection of paper and paper-based packaging, thereby turning waste paper into valuable funds.

Visit mpactrecycling.co.za or call 0800 022 112 for more information.

top tips Easy ways to make the move more manageable: ✻✻ Move in the morning – you’ll give yourself more time to unpack on the other side. ✻✻ Arrange a cleaning service for both homes. ✻✻ Ask for access to the new home ahead of moving day and have your phone line and internet access installed. ✻✻ Allocate spaces in the house where different boxes can be placed.o

August/September 2017

23

calendar

what’s on in

August/September

13 August 2017 Marriott Dargle Trails Festival 3 August

9 August

Heart of Africa Wine Evening

Andrew Walford Pottery Open Day

The evening includes a sampling of wines, craft beers, whiskeys and more, an auction, a harvest table and live music. It takes place at the Westville Country Club from 6pm–9pm and tickets cost R180. Email info@robinhoodfoundation.co.za to make your booking.

A country Zulu Zen experience where you can find flame-fired pots, ikebana, music, homemade lemon juice and Neetha’s legendary breyani. Take the Shongweni exit off the N3 and follow the signs for 8kms to B9 in the Shongweni Valley. Open from 10am and entry is free. Read more at andrewwalfordpottery.com

concert conducted by Richard Cock along with Bryan Clarks’ Steel Drum and Marimba players. Musicians are welcome to register to play; you don’t have to be a professional, but must be able to read music and play an instrument. It takes place from 2:30pm–4:30pm at Penzance School, Glenwood. Audience members pay R50 (tickets sold at the door). Contact: 031 202 6174 or bcha1820@global.co.za

5 August

5 August

Thomas More College Country Fair The fair includes an indoor / outdoor expo, craft market, excitement zone, tea garden, arena events, beer garden and much more.

The fun starts at 9am, at 15 Sykes Road, Kloof. Parking on the campus costs R20.

Contact: 031 764 8640.

Find show specials, expert advice, children’s entertainment, prizes, nappy changing and breastfeeding facilities and more. Open from 9am at the Durban Exhibition Centre until 27 August. Tickets are R65 for adults, R30 for children 2–10 years old. Visit mamamagic.co.za 26 August

Ladies Breakfast for Feed the Babies Fund Join Feed the Babies Fund for an entertainment-filled morning including a scrumptious breakfast, a children’s fashion show, prizes and raffles and a goodie bag for each lady. All funds raised on the morning go toward nutrition and early childhood development training in the crèches. It takes place from 8am–12:30pm at Coastlands Musgrave Hotel and costs R275 per lady. Contact 031 201 4682 or info@feedthebabiesfund.org.za for more info and bookings.

25 August

MamaMagic – The Baby Expo

The Birches’ Fun Day A range of exciting activities and games will keep children 3–10 years old busy while you enjoy some of the delicious food on sale – all in a family-friendly, relaxed atmosphere.

The fun day happens at 1 Oribi Crescent, Sarnia, from 9am–12pm. R50 per child covers all activities. Contact: 031 708 4764 or thebirchespp@absamail.co.za 12 August

Choc Walk to Sani Pass This annual event involves a walk up the pass at your own pace (you can turn around whenever you want). Show your support for children with cancer by participating in this family outing. Adults pay R275 and children 16 and under pay R100 – price includes a drink, lunch and a T-shirt. See more at facebook.com/ events/458047347860401/ 20 August

Orchestra 2017 Don’t miss the 16th annual Orchestra Concert, a unique massed orchestral

1 September

Santa Shoebox Project pledging opens 23 August

Jomba! Contemporary Dance Experience A showcase of local and internationally acclaimed dance talent at the Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, the festival also provides workshops, discussions and master classes along with a Fringe and a Youth Fringe programme. It runs until 3 September. Programme details available at cca.ukzn.ac.za

From this day donors can choose the child or children to whom they wish to gift a Shoebox. The decorated Santa Shoeboxes must be dropped off at central distribution points across the country on designated dates in October. Virtual shoeboxes are also available. Find out more at santashoebox. org.za

8 August

Chelsea Night Carnival The festivities include tombola, the Haunted House, treasure hunts, hairsprays and glow-in-the-dark items. Food and refreshments on sale. Charities supported include Save the Rhino, KZN Kittens, and the SPCA. Open from 5:30pm–9pm at Chelsea Preparatory in Durban North.

You pay R130 per wristband (children are able to use all inflatables) or R90 for children under 7 years (able to use limited inflatables). For more info, email afrost@ cdsp.co.za

24

August/September 2017

13 August

2017 Marriott Dargle Trails Festival The popular trail running and MTB event takes place at The Lions River Club in the Midlands.

There is also a fun family walk, a social horse outride and a market.

Information on times, costs and more at dargletrailsfestival.co.za

2 September

The Brown’s School Fete A fun, family event offering unbelievable bargains, games, rides and inflatables and delicious food. All ages are welcome, and it’s disability-friendly. Held at the school in Mariannhill Park, Pinetown, from 8:30am–2:30pm. Entry is R10. Contact Jane Noble: 031 700 6065 (during school hours). magazine durban

For more events go to childmag.co.za/whats-on or submit an event for Oct/ Nov before 1 September to durban@childmag.co.za

15 September

The Hilton Arts Festival Introduce young people to the wondrous all-encompassing world of live performance and arts. The festival includes Jongosi, a youth component that is part of the main festival.

It runs at Hilton College until 17 September. Details available at hiltonfestival.co.za 15 September

Sunflower Day Give the hope of life to patients suffering from lifethreatening blood disorders such as leukaemia. Buy a Tope for R25 from Pick n Pay or online at Zando. Find out more at sunflowerfund.org.za/ sunflower-day-2017 23 September

Baby Meetup Expect entertaining talks by leading childcare experts, celebrity parent appearances and the opportunity to engage with top baby brands. It all happens at Moses Mabhida Stadium from 8:30am–4:30pm.

Tickets are R190, buy at babymeetup.co.za

markets

The Shongweni Farmer’s Market Make your way to this country market held every Saturday at Lot 457 in Shongweni.

Food, crafts, entertainment and more are on offer from 6:30am–11:30am. Find out more at shongwenimarket.co.za

Wonder Market Here you will find beautiful artwork, unusual jewellery, bespoke fashion, farm-fresh produce, home décor and lots of incredibly good food.

Held on 27 August and 24 September from 9am–2pm at Chris Saunders Park, Gateway.

Contact: 074 467 2464. magazine durban

in the next issue of

labour of love

gender-based play

fun and games

parenting philosophies

Cravings and eating well through your pregnancy

october/november is our

tech & toy issue

with a spotlight on dealing with difference

on street 19 September

How play impacts on your child’s development and toys to help them grow

tech to track fitness

A round-up of the tech gear and apps to promote healthy living and exercise

The toys that teach by age and stage

Thoughtful parents, confident kids through RIE and the Attachment Theory

children in crisis

Helping parents and schools come to terms with teen and pre-teen suicide

To advertise call: 0861 867 885 or email: dbnsales@childmag.co.za | Booking deadline: 5 September | Material deadline: 7 September August/September 2017

25

finishing touch

mom’s taxi Despite the hazards of the school run, ANÉL LEWIS

t

here are so many joys to being a parent, but driving children to their respective schools in morning peak-hour traffic is definitely not one of them. While all those parenting books I read extolled advice on the importance of tummy time and singing to my unborn baby, they did nothing to warn me about the perils of navigating school traffic with two pint-sized passengers screaming blue murder.

The pandemonium starts even before I leave the driveway. No matter how much warning I give, Conor, age 5, somehow always manages to remember at the very last minute that he absolutely has to take something to class with the same letter as “Annie Apple” and no, an apple won’t do. It has to be the toy ambulance he last played with four weeks ago. Mindful of the ticking clock, a frenzied search for said toy ensues. Finally, with plastic ambulance in hand we head out again. As we pull into the traffic, Conor whines that the sun is burning him. It’s 7am, for goodness sake. I decide to feign deafness. Then he asks if it’s weekend. I say no, it’s Tuesday and we are going to school. A wail erupts from the back. “But why? I don’t want to go to school. Why is it Tuesday?” Resisting the urge to launch into a lecture about the history of the Gregorian calendar, I keep my tone calm and say again that it’s Tuesday because we have already had Monday. Silence. I turn up the radio. Suddenly another shout from the back. “Mom, I’m born.” Er… yes? Clearly my son is going to be one of those people

let’s party

who needs to state the obvious. He pipes up again.

“Mo-o-o-m, I’m born.” Erin leans forward and whispers: “Mom, he means he’s bored.” Aaaah, now I understand. Again, I have to work hard at not turning around to say: “You know what, I am ‘born’ too. I would much rather be drinking a chai latte at a beachfront café, but here I am taking 35 minutes to drive you two blocks to school.”

Instead, I suggest a game of “I spy”. All goes well until Erin gets too many right answers and Conor declares the game “stupid”. Thankfully, the traffic is starting to move again and the school is in sight.

I hear muffled voices from the back and glance in the rearview mirror just as Erin punches Conor hard on his arm. On cue, Conor starts to bawl.

I threaten to drop them both at the next set of traffic Conor, Erin and Anél lights. And then a popular song comes on the radio.

Erin starts singing first. I turn the music up and Conor soon joins in. Eventually we are all belting out the lyrics as if we have nary a care in the world. We pull up to Erin’s school and wave her goodbye. “One down, one to go,” I think. But then Conor slips his hand into mine and says: “Mom, please can I drive with you to school tomorrow again?” Truth be told, as much as I dread the early-morning histrionics, I would not give up this time with my two reluctant passengers for anything. Well, maybe that chai latte...

Anél is looking into getting custom-made earplugs for those mornings when not even car karaoke can diffuse the battles playing out in the back seat.

family marketplace

For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

26

August/September 2017

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: craig lewis

is happy to play chauffeur to her two children.