Child magazine | DBN December 2014 / January 2015

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

25 in december

things

to do

happy holidays

all set for summer?

plus

bumper

www.childmag.co.za

free Dec 2014 / Jan 2015

stay safe in the sun and water

guide

to what’s on in the summer holidays

health

education

travelling with a special needs child

old-school fun

with pen and paper

everyday skincare

for delicate skin

entertainment

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za

The spirit and sparkle of Christmas reawakens a childlike wonderment in me.

Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Do you feel the same way about the festive season?

I have always loved Christmas and the promise of lazy family time that surrounds it. Once again, we have done all the hard work for you and rounded up literally hundreds of things to do as a family these holidays.

It’s time to let go of the stress and strain, and the mundane, and take in all that the holiday season has to offer. Whether you are keen to get out and catch a Christmas show or simply laze around at home, we hope you draw your inspiration for some serious family fun from

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this, our bumper Happy Holidays issue. Why not capture the mood of the season by making your own Christmas decorations, mince pies or gingerbread men? Or if you are feeling more energetic, pack a picnic and head for the park for a game of Frisbee.

With none of the usual school or work commitments, your options are endless and the joy of giving your time to your children has to be the greatest gift of all. ’Tis the season for holiday fun… enjoy!

Lisa Mc Namara Publisher

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December 2014 / January 2015

3

contents december / january

10 3 a note from lisa

regulars

5 over to you readers respond

7 pregnancy news – bump on the move expert advice for pregnant

features

drivers. By Marina Zietsman

12 what’s the right age to start school? some say it’s to your child’s advantage to start school early, others disagree. Glynis Horning considers both arguments

16 keep it green in her recipe book, Star Fish, Daisy Jones only uses the 10 most sustainable fish on the SASSI green list for her delectable dishes

18 the blame game children often feel it’s their fault when bad things happen at home. Glynis Horning gives advice on how to handle self-blame

20 checked off Child magazine compiles a handy checklist to help you prepare for the new school year

23 old-fashioned fun all you need is pen and paper to play these simple family games. By Tamlyn Vincent

8 best for baby – in the clear Lucille Kemp discusses the sensitive skin of babies and how to prevent and treat certain skin irritations

9 dealing with difference – travelling with a special needs child Deirdré Amy Gower and her wheelchair-bound son travelled far and wide through South Africa

10 resource – what should we do today? Child magazine compiles 25 inspirational activity ideas to keep boredom at bay this festive season

24 what’s on in december and january 30 finishing touch Cassandra Shaw hopes her son makes time for nature in his busy city life

31 a good read for the whole family

classified ads

health 6 make safety your priority Marc de Chazal gives you tips on how to stay safe in the sun and water

29 let’s party 30 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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December 2014 / January 2015

Joburg

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Durban

Pretoria

Spree.co.za spree.co.za/kids

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Sarah-Jane Photography sarahjanephotography.co.za

Tanya Rudman De Sousa trphoto.co.za

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over to you your voice on childmag.co.za in response to “have you lost your marbles?”

We have just introduced our four-year-old son to marbles, out of sentimentality, and it has been one of his favourite pastimes ever since. There is a lot of merit in going back to old-fashioned toys. Through games like marbles, children interact with other people, which will surely teach them life skills and emotional intelligence.

Surisa foul language My daughter is 13 years old. This year is her first year at a new school. I was very concerned when I saw the WhatsApp exchanges between her and two other classmates. The other girls were cursing a lot in the conversation. The three of them apparently love anime and writing stories. So, they often start a story and each of them write a part of the storyline.

A few days ago, I read my daughter’s notebook and found that she had written curses as part of the storyline. She said one of her friends asked her to. Then I saw photos of anime characters online with sexual innuendos. There were even

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letters

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag. co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

photos of Ninja Turtles with sexual themes and a discussion going on about the sexual preferences of the characters.

We do not curse at home and have never even uttered anything worse than “damn”. It’s frightening to see my girl exposed to these kinds of friends. What should I do?

Anonymous Childmag asked Gary Koen, a clinical psychologist and one of our regular writers, to respond: “Well, the good news is that your daughter has presented you with the opportunity to talk about a whole range of very important aspects of being a teenager – from sex and sexuality, freedom of expression and creativity, to the value of friendship and how the company you keep is a reflection of who you are – not to mention the omnipresent internet.

Your daughter and her friends certainly sound very creative, which in itself is a wonderful ability, but while 13 year olds definitely do swear, to use swearwords as a means of creative expression sounds to me more for shock value and an attempt to appear more sophisticated than they really are. Their real challenge is to develop and expand their range of creative expression so, at this stage, to use swearwords is

both inappropriate and quite limited. I wouldn’t necessarily simply blame the friends though, because one of the hallmarks of adolescence is the process of leaving home and encountering the outside world, which is full of sex and swearing, and our teenagers’ eyes and ears are wide open.

Your role as a parent is to build your relationship with your teenager so that you are able to continuously talk about all these changes and challenges, and this would include, among other things, the type of friends they want to hang out with.” in response to “10 fun teaching games for children” These are great ideas. I am going to adjust them to suit my students.

Hazel-Ann subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions.

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December 2014 / January 2015

5

outh Africans love sunshine – we get plenty of it, after all.

In the heat of summer families hit the beaches, pools and garden sprinklers in their numbers. It’s up to parents to ensure their children are adequately protected from the cancer risks of the African sun and from the dangers of drowning.

sun safety

water safety

When your family is out and about in the summer sun • Drink plenty of fluids to avoid dehydration.

• Use appropriate sunscreen. Dr Daynia Ballot, paediatric neonatologist and chairperson of the Wits Paediatric Fund, recommends we use sunscreen with an SPF factor between 15 and 30 for children. “Anything higher has certain chemical additives best avoided for young skins,” says Ballot.

• Covering up with sunhats and UV protective swimwear is also a good idea. “UV protective clothing provides extra protection from the dangers of sun exposure and can also help ease a parent’s conscience if the hourly sunscreen reapplication is forgotten,” points out Ballot.

• Try to avoid the strongest rays of the sun between 10am and 4pm.

According to the Medical Research Council, drowning is one of the leading causes of accidental death in children under the age of five years old. The sea, rivers and dams are all potentially dangerous, but public and private swimming pools are the main danger hotspots.

make

safety your

priority

Ensure your family stays safe while enjoying the summer sun with these handy tips.

By MARC DE CHAZAL

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December 2014 / January 2015

Important things you should do to prevent tragedy • Make sure your children never swim alone and are always supervised by an adult.

• Learn life-saving skills such as CPR in the event of an emergency.

• Ensure your children can swim properly, but know their limits.

Cape Town-based swimming instructor Ross Johnston advises that children start swimming lessons as early as possible.

“A child who starts swimming before his first birthday will be swimming on his own by three years old,” he says.

• Make sure they only swim in safe areas.

The Childsafe campaign cautions homeowners with pools against relying on only one safety barrier as this can create a false sense of security. Studies in the US reveal that 70% of all pool drownings occur in fenced pools. To make your pool safer, use multiple layers of safety. Your pool fence should be SABSapproved and have a lockable, self-latching, spring-loaded gate.

You should also have a well-fitted, good quality net that can hold your child above water over the entire surface of the pool. To really beef up safety, use a subsurface pool alarm that will alert you if your child enters the water without you noticing.

Sunlight is one of our main sources of vitamin D, but unprotected exposure can lead to skin cancer. We have one of the highest incidences of skin cancer in the world, reports the Cancer Association of South Africa.

flying the flag There are 57 Blue Flag beaches in South Africa.

This international award is given to beaches that meet the criteria for safety, amenities, cleanliness and environmental standards. So if you’re looking for a beach with excellent life-saving standards, top-rate parking and clean ablution facilities, then opt for one with Blue Flag status. Visit blueflag.org.za

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

s

health

pregnancy news

bump on the move Being pregnant doesn’t mean you shouldn’t drive.

m

MARINA ZIETSMAN gives some safety tips.

any pregnant women believe a seatbelt and airbags can cause more harm than good to them in an accident. Car safety for unborn children still needs more research because foetal injury and death are rarely part of statistics, but Swedish car manufacturer Volvo has developed a virtual crash test dummy called Linda, which is of average size and approximately “36 weeks pregnant”. Linda simulates how a pregnant woman moves in a crash and how the foetus moves inside her. They also researched how the seatbelt and airbag affect the woman and the foetus. After Linda was used in several simulated frontal collision tests, the conclusion was that everyone should wear a seatbelt – and in the case of pregnant women, it should be used correctly. The virtual tests also proved that airbags offer protection for both the mother and the foetus.

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

a snug fit Petro Kruger, director and cofounder of The Road Safety Foundation, explains how seatbelts should be used. “The lap-belt portion should be placed well under your pregnant tummy, snugly fitting over your pelvis and pubic bone and across your hips as high up on your thighs as possible. It’s really important that while driving you constantly check to see the lap belt has not risen up onto your bump,” says Kruger. “The shoulder strap should be positioned off to the side of the uterus and between the breasts. Again it’s important that while driving you routinely check that the shoulder belt is not lying directly over your bump as this could increase the risk of injury to your unborn baby during a high-speed collision.”

The aim is to be restrained over the body’s stronger areas, like the upper torso and pelvis, thus protecting the weaker parts of the body, such as the soft abdomen containing the fragile foetus. Kruger advises you make sure the SA National Standards Authority or the European Standards authority has approved your seatbelt.

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sitting pretty Kruger says it’s advisable to sit as far back from the steering wheel as your legs will allow with the steering wheel tilted, normally downwards, to suit the size of your bump and stature. Your seat should not be too far back to compromise safe driving and control – about a 10cm space between your belly and the steering wheel is recommended.

air force “Pregnant women worry unnecessarily about injuries to their unborn baby following deployment of airbags,” says Kruger. “Any injuries that have been reported as a result of airbag deployment are most likely because of sitting too close to the steering wheel, or the incorrect wearing of seatbelts or not wearing one at all.” Kruger emphasises that airbags should never be seen as an alternative to seatbelts.

general safety • I f you are involved in a car accident, inform emergency medical personnel that you are pregnant.

• Even if you are involved in a low-speed bumper bash, visit your doctor as soon as possible.

• Carry a letter from your doctor confirming your pregnancy with your medical aid card. In case of a serious road accident, medical personnel will find this letter when looking for your medical aid details.

Courtesy of The Road Safety Foundation

December 2014 / January 2015

7

best for baby

in the clear A baby has an immature immune system and a far to developing skin sensitivities, writes LUCILLE KEMP.

part from a once-off bout of nappy rash during teething, Cape Town mom Alison’s son Jude didn’t suffer at all from the issues that affect many babies with sensitive skin. This could have been simple luck or it could have been due to the fact that she heeded professional advice to not disrupt his natural skin barrier.

As standard practice from the time he was born, she stayed away from soap, bathing and moisturising Jude only with emollient cream.

If your baby suffers from dry skin, hives, nappy rash, cradle cap, heat rash, welts that flare up from insect bites or eczema, Cape Town paediatrician Dr Salome Abbott and Durban specialist dermatologist Dr Imraan Jhetam both suggest as a starting point to adopt a skincare regime that addresses the specific needs of a baby.

effective everyday skincare Abbott says that colourants and perfumes have been found to irritate the skin and can cause flare-ups. For this reason dermatologists always recommend soapfree cleansers, according to Jhetam, as this will not strip the skin of moisture, as well as fragrance-free moisturizers to hydrate and maintain the delicate skin

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December 2014 / January 2015

barrier. What works for one child may not work for another. Some moms have found surprising fixer-uppers for various skin irritations that are available without a prescription and have actually been suggested to them by their doctors – zinc ointment has helped bad nappy rash and welts have been effectively treated with petroleum jelly.

If your baby has been diagnosed with eczema, hydration with the use of a fragrance-free moisturizer needs to be more frequent, also bathing with glycerine soap maintains skin hydration. Jhetam says that if the skin is very dry, such as during winter, very fatty moisturizers such as an emulsifying ointment may be required more often; Abbott recommends at least twice a day.

Under a dermatologist’s supervision, treatment with mild cortisone cream may be needed to ease the inflammation of eczema and antihistamine syrup may be required to reduce the itching.

what to avoid Jhetam says water-based creams are not ideal for use, and you should look out for moisturizers that contain humectants like Cetamacrogol and fatty ingredients

like ceramides, glycerine and shea butter. Also, avoid products with urea as this may irritate the delicate skin and lanolin-based creams that may also cause irritation.

“Research has shown that fabric softeners and detergents do not adversely affect a baby’s skin, but rather the type of fabric, so avoid wool and opt for cotton,” advises Jhetam.

for severe eczema A study was done on eczema sufferers between six months and 17 years old and published in the May 2009 issue of Paediatrics. Bleach baths were found to be safe and effective when you soak the child for five to 10 minutes twice a week in a diluted bleach bath; scientists used a scant but specific dosage. “Diluted bleach baths are effective in treating children whose eczema is difficult to control,” says Abbott. “It works by helping clear the skin of bacteria. However, it should only be done under the supervision of a doctor.”

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

a

more delicate skin than ours, making them more prone

dealing with difference

travelling with a special needs child

Enjoying the scenery on a bicycle trail

DEIRDRÉ AMY GOWER has travelled around South Africa with her wheelchair-bound son and shares some practical tips for families facing similar challenges.

i

n June 2013, after taking my wheelchair-bound son, Damian (15), out of school for scheduled surgery and resigning from my job to be able to care for him during the four- to six-month recovery period, we found ourselves at a loose end when the surgery was unexpectedly cancelled. I decided on a three-week road trip to visit family while determining the way forward. Fourteen months later, that road trip has taken us on an extraordinary journey – discovering new places, forging friendships and finding a gentler way to live. We left Cape Town with some surprises in store for us, and I have packed – and unpacked – our car more times than I can count.

The first leg of our trip included stops in Swellendam, the Garden Route, Port Elizabeth and then on to East London to our family. From there we travelled to the KwaZulu-Natal Midlands, exploring the area as well as further afield to Durban – visiting a number of attractions and overcoming accessibility challenges when they arose. With time to spare en route back to Cape Town, our real adventures began. We stopped in Plettenberg Bay for two weeks as part of a farm volunteer programme – and ended up staying five months. Exchanging my office stilettos for gumboots, and with Damian by my side, we spent our days looking after and riding horses – a far cry from rushed city life. Returning to Cape Town to pick up where we left off, after a brief holiday with several more adventures in our own city ranging from a boat trip to Seal Island and a horseback safari, we found ourselves on another volunteer farm. Once again, one month became five.

We have learnt to adapt to diverse environments, to streamline our travel preparations and appreciate every moment – good or bad – as part of the journey. After all, a good journey is not just a physical trip, it is an exploration of self, broadening of horizons and building of resilience – and if we can share these things with our children, how fortunate we are. magazine durban

packing the car I have mastered the art of getting the maximum number of items into the minimum amount of space. Make sure wheelchairs are easily accessible – the first inclination is to pack bulkier items first. Whether stopping at attractions along the way, or doing a trip in one go, the wheelchair will be the first item needed at your destination. Pack clothing into smaller bags that can be used to fill spaces rather than one big bag that takes up space.

seating “The child should be well positioned and should be moved or stretched at least every two hours,” says occupational therapist Megan Giljam. “Positioning in the car is really important to prevent developing any deformities, inhibiting any patterns of movement like extension and ensuring adequate comfort and pressure relief. It is also quite important for the child to be able to see out the window and experience the excitement of a road trip.”

accommodation challenges Staying in different establishments, each with their own set of accessibility challenges, is a lesson in flexibility. Access to buildings is the first obstacle. Even if there are ramped entrances, the terrain leading to the place may be unpaved, making manoeuvring a wheelchair an exercise in strength and patience. The next hurdle is the bathroom. Some accommodation venues only have showers, which makes washing a differently-abled child difficult.

refreshments and bathroom stops “Special needs children need nutrientdense food,” says Cape Town nutritional therapist Heidi du Preez. “The journey alone might be stressful enough for them to cope with and should not be filled with sugarladen junk food. Plan ahead and pack healthy snacks.” I find Damian loses his appetite while travelling long distances, so keeping him hydrated is vital, though he will occasionally snack on yoghurt, bananas or

As volunteers on a farm in Malmesbury

Troy, the horse, and Damian on the farm in Plettenberg Bay

biltong – all of which are easy to pack and eat. Bathroom stops are tricky ordeals, so easy access to a wheelchair is essential.

benefit from games such as I-spy and count the lampposts or simply paging through books and cuddling a fluffy toy.

entertainment

activities and adventures

Music is always a winning choice for us, whether relaxing melodies or fun songs.

When music isn’t doing the trick, “spot all the white cars” is an excellent concentration game. Sometimes, after 10 minutes of silence and the game forgotten (at least for me), Damian will pipe up with an insistent “There!” indicating the approaching white car with his eyes. Special needs teacher, Joanne Heinen, from Alta du Toit School in Cape Town, often travels with her students and finds that the higher functioning children love to amuse themselves with iPads, while the lower functioning children

• Animal parks and aquariums are popular choices, and many cater for wheelchair users.

• River rafting is a fun option and a child can be seated snugly in the nose of a rubber croc, with a life jacket, while Mom and/or Dad paddle.

• With a selection of bicycle trailers now on the market, special needs children can be included on cycling outings.

• Horse riding is therapeutic as well as enjoyable. Many riding schools have suitable ponies on which special needs children can be led with assistance.

tips for flying Zelda Mycroft, CEO of the Chaeli Campaign and mom to inspirational International Children’s Peace Prize winner 2011, Chaeli Mycroft, shares tips from their travel experiences. booking your flight • When booking wheelchair assistance, some domestic carriers will give you a pile of additional medical forms to complete.

• Book middle and aisle seats, which are easier for access to the toilet and the passenger assist unit (PAU). Online bookings often don’t have the wheelchair/ disability information related to booking readily available.

• When booking an international flight, it’s essential to mention that you will need assistance. Make sure when you book that there is a slipper seat available on board for in-flight use (to take larger children to the toilet).

checking in and boarding • Ask questions – do not assume people know what to do.

• Request a seat that works best for you.

• Ensure PAU is booked.

• Ensure that the slipper seat is available for transit onto the plane.

• Flight attendants are generally friendly and especially helpful.

additional tips • Prepare for any eventuality – pack a spare emergency bag with clothes, antidiarrhoea meds and other essentials.

• Be patient and prepared to be last off. Don’t be in a hurry to go anywhere if you need assistance getting off the plane.

• Wet wipes are essential, along with a well-cultivated sense of humour.

• Introduce yourself to the person you are sitting next to – you might need their help at some stage.

December 2014 / January 2015

9

resource

what should we do today?

Keep your children busy in the holidays with these 25 family-friendly activities from CHILD MAGAZINE. Each day, you can do something new.

collect pine cones Turn them into pine cone animals, angels or mini Christmas trees with some spray paint, glitter and cardboard.

make stained glass windows Cut a frame out of black cardboard and stick coloured tissue paper behind the frame, or use clear contact and stick everything onto this.

dress-up, choose a theme and stage your own play.

write a letter to family overseas and include some photos.

take a cultural tour Street Scene in Durban

make or do something from your parents’ childhood One idea is to learn a traditional family recipe, like mince pies.

organises cultural and township tours.

play mini golf Try out the

sing christmas carols by candlelight or attend a candlelit concert.

The Durban Botanic Gardens and Old Mutual Music at the Lake host carols by candlelight.

Glow Mini Golf at The Fun Company in Galleria for a fun, glow-in-the-dark experience.

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December 2014 / January 2015

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

watch a children’s play Two great options this December are Aladdin, showing at The Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, and The Princess and the Frog at the Catalina.

freeze dinosaurs or other play garden games Make visit an indoor playground In Umhlanga, Funky Monkey offers indoor play areas for children. Lucky Bean in Assagay also has an indoor play area.

camp out in the garden, roast marshmallows and stargaze.

visit a library for story time and choose a book to take home. La Lucia Library offers story time for children every Thursday and the Book Club every Friday, both at 3pm.

have a water balloon contest

spend a day at the dam Pack a picnic lunch, blankets and a ball. Hire a canoe, swim and skim stones.

Fill up small balloons with water, making sure each person has enough.

Then give chase around the garden and see who can avoid getting wet.

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alphabet pebbles and play Scrabble outside. Play giant Jenga, grass twister or tic-tac-toe. Play pool noodle croquet, with noodles placed over tent pegs in a hoop. Have sack, threelegged and egg-and-spoon races.

visit a christmas market and bargain hunt for unique gifts. The Shongweni Farmers’ Christmas Market runs on 16 December.

plastic toys in a tub of water, then chisel the toys out.

ride a train Take a trip on a steam engine. Inchanga Choo Choo travels to Inchanga over several weekends in December.

start a garden Plant a veggie patch, start a herb box, make a flowerbed or turn an old fish tank into a fairy garden or terrarium.

bake a gingerbread man Decorate it with small sweets and icing (mix icing sugar and water together for a basic icing).

Feeling more creative? Try a gingerbread house.

play frisbee Find a park, nature reserve or beach with enough space to throw a Frisbee. If there are enough of you, set up teams and try scoring Frisbee goals.

go on a treasure hunt Draw a map and let your children set off in search of hidden treasure.

visit a bike park where you’ll find a variety of tracks to suit all sorts of skill levels. Try out Freedom Trails in Hillcrest.

ride a horse Visit Horse Beach Rides in Isipingo. They offer rides through the bush and along the beach.

make a book or film a movie.

Write a story from your holidays and illustrate it, or film Christmas on a smartphone and turn it into a family movie.

December 2014 / January 2015

11

education

what’s the right age to

start school?

While some educationalists insist starting school early gives children a head start in life, others argue a delayed beginning brings an accumulative advantage.

i

n an era when we all want to give our children the best start in life, the pressure of parental competition can be fierce. No wonder we agonise over the most advantageous age to start school.

In South Africa, moves are afoot to drop the age to five years old by making schooling from Grade R level compulsory, but currently the earliest we can enrol our children is at five-and-a-half. They must turn six by 30 June of their Grade 1 year, and have to start school by the year in which they turn seven.

The Department of Education stipulates that no child may be tested for school readiness before they have been accepted by the school, and that denying a child

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December 2014 / January 2015

admission on the grounds that they’re not “school-ready” is discriminatory. This puts the onus on us to decide when our child should start, within the government’s framework.

For many parents, the earlier they start the better. “Kayla’s really smart. She began reading by three, and I wanted to send her at four to give her an edge,” says her mother, Sandra*, a 28-year-old Durban clothing designer. “That’s the age children start school in the UK where my sister lives, and her two are now ahead. It doesn’t seem fair.”

Starting early can help keep bright children stimulated, boost their self-esteem (at being “smart enough” to go), and enable them to finish school earlier and start a career younger, maximizing their earning years. Internationally,

however, a growing number of parents are delaying the start of their children’s schooling, many inspired by Malcolm Gladwell’s best-seller Outliers: The Story of Success (Black Bay Books).

Gladwell cites a study showing a disproportionate number of top Canadian hockey players were born early in the school year. Because they were older, and therefore bigger, stronger and more mature than younger competitors, they were more likely to be identified early as better athletes, given extra coaching, and selected for elite leagues. The implication is that a similar “accumulative advantage” could apply academically and in other areas for children who start later.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

GLYNIS HORNING weighs the pros and cons.

There is increasing evidence to support the benefits of a later start to formal education – but it rests less on “accumulative advantage” than on the importance of children spending more years at play. As British psychologist and researcher David Whitebread, author of Developmental Psychology and Early Childhood Education (Sage), puts it, “Neuroscientific studies have shown that playful activity leads to synaptic growth, particularly in the frontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for all the uniquely human higher mental functions.” And his and other studies have demonstrated “superior learning and motivation from playful, as opposed to instructional, approaches to learning in children.”

School readiness has as much to do with emotional readiness and independence as cognitive ability.

Disturbingly, Whitebread says studies have documented the loss of play opportunities for children over the past few decades, and demonstrated “a clear link with increased indicators of stress and mental health problems.”

Recent New Zealand studies of children who started formal literacy lessons at ages five and seven, showed that by 11 there was no difference in reading ability level between them – and those who started at five developed less positive attitudes to reading, and showed poorer text comprehension. A separate study of 15-year-olds in 55

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countries showed “no significant association” between reading achievement and school entry age.

ready to perform “School readiness has as much to do with emotional readiness and independence as cognitive ability,” says Cape Town educational psychologist Dr René Daniels. It requires having the self-esteem and confidence to handle different situations, and generally a child of five is developmentally less confident and able to cope than one of seven.

Starting primary school is a major milestone, and older children are usually better able to separate from their

parents, interact with other children, listen to teachers, follow instructions, and remember things, says Daniels – “especially if they’ve been in educare before entering formal schooling.”

Older children are also better able to tolerate an 8am to 2pm school day without tiring easily, says Benoni educational psychologist Matshidiso Maseko.

Children can sense success and failure keenly, and if they cope better, they are more likely to be positive about school and do better. If they struggle compared to classmates, it can crush their confidence and discourage them, putting them off school and learning. “It’s

should your child repeat a year?

If your child doesn’t cope at school and proves emotionally or cognitively unready, should you hold them back?

Children can understand the idea of failure as young as three years old and feel bad repeating a year, questioning their self-worth, unless you convey the message to them carefully, says Dr René Daniels. But promoting them when they’re not ready can cause similar self-esteem issues and the feeling of not being good enough.

1 Rule out physical and emotional issues such as sickness, changes or traumas.

2 Explore alternatives: extra homework, tutoring, reading more with them, using stickers to reward progress.

3 Get advice from teachers and an educational psychologist – they may require specialised educational intervention, occupational therapy, speech and language therapy, ADD monitoring or a remedial school rather than retention.

4 If they are to be retained, preferably do it in the first grade.

5 Know that some studies show gains in achievement for the first year, but these are small and grow smaller.

6 Know that retention has been associated with increased problems with behaviour and peer relationships.

7 Know too that some children forge ahead and flourish by being more mature than many new classmates.

8 Once you’ve decided, adopt a positive attitude about why this is the best thing and will help them catch up.

9 Give them an explanation to give others: “I was sick a lot when I was little” or “I just need more practise”.

10 Encourage them to express their feelings – they may need to grieve being separated from their friends.

11 Have them meet their new teacher and set up playdates with children who will be in their class.

12 Ditch self-doubt – even if this is a loss for your child right now, it doesn’t mean you’re not doing the right thing.

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education

heartbreaking when little ones aren’t able to meet the demands of a structured academic environment,” says Daniels. “It really damages self-esteem if parents pressurise children to perform when they’re not ready.”

In a study by Britain’s Institute of Fiscal Studies Research, children born at the end of the year, and therefore younger than others in class, were likely to score substantially lower in assessments, and were more than twice as likely to report being unhappy at school and being bullied.

Lacking emotional maturity, independence and resilience and being generally smaller than others makes younger children vulnerable, and in large classes teachers can struggle to give them the extra attention and care they need, says Daniels. They can also be unfairly labelled as failures or as not wanting to carry out instructions, says Maseko, when they’re simply not ready for formalised tuition.

Ironically, bright or gifted children such as Kayla can suffer the most from starting school early. A major US study over eight decades found that their intellect benefited from being slowed down in the early years so they could develop naturally. And according to Dr Richard House of Roehampton University’s Research Centre for Therapeutic Education in the UK, pushing smart children into formal schooling too early can result in their growing up in an “intellectually unbalanced” way, with possible lifelong negative health effects.

Not all children benefit from delayed entry. The US National Association for the Education of Young Children reports that some children who start older worry that they have failed, and develop poor attitudes toward school. They are more likely to have behaviour problems and drop out.

Bottom line? There is no “perfect time” for a child to start school. “Each case should be treated on merit,” says

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December 2014 / January 2015

Daniels. Every child is unique, and a holistic view of them should be taken, including their cognitive and emotional development. Factors to consider include their personality, home circumstances, medical history (such as recurring ear infections), even their position in the family – first-borns tend to mature earlier, says Daniels, although Maseko observes that they can sometimes be immature “due to parental anxiety”.

The key, say both psychologists, is to understand your child’s strengths and weaknesses, and to start them at school only when you are quite sure they are ready and will be happy – whatever their age. *Name has been changed.

is your child ready for school?

Most preschools assess children for school readiness in their final year, or an occupational therapist can do this. You can form an idea yourself with key criteria: Visual perception • Can they see similarities and differences between objects, match and sort them logically, and copy a pattern?

• Can they tell left from right?

• Can they draw a house or a person?

Gross motor skills • Can they balance on one leg, kick a ball and climb?

Fine motor skills • Can they grip a pencil properly?

• Can they draw lines accurately, colour in and cut within borders?

Emotional readiness • Can they accept separation from you?

• Can they interact with other children, share and take turns?

• Can they recognise and express feelings and needs?

• Can they make independent decisions and follow them through?

• Can they follow two or three instructions at once?

• Can they concentrate on tasks?

• Can they cope reasonably well with frustration?

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December 2014 / January 2015

15

book extract

keep it green In Star Fish, DAISY JONES uses only the top 10 most sustainable seafood off SASSI’s green list for her scrumptious recipes. Here are some delectable dishes to enjoy with your family.

delhi kedgeree ingredients • 4 eggs • 1 potato, cut into chunks • sea salt and freshly ground black pepper • 1 pack frozen haddock steaks • 2 bay leaves • 225ml long-grain or basmati rice • 125g unsalted butter • 1 medium onion, finely chopped • 1 clove freshly chopped garlic or 1 tsp chopped garlic from a tub • 2 heaped tsp curry powder • 1 can brown lentils • 2 lemons • 2 good handfuls fresh coriander, roughly chopped method

1 2

Preheat the oven to 150°C, if you are planning to take a break between

cooking and serving.

Boil the eggs and potato chunks together, in salted boiling water. The

eggs will be done after 6 to 8 minutes; the potato may need a little longer. When the eggs are done remove them from the pan with a slotted spoon and leave them in a bowl of cold water. When the potato is done, drain it.

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December 2014 / January 2015

3

Put the haddock (defrosted or not) into a frying pan with some water and the bay leaves. Bring to the boil, cover and simmer for about 5 minutes, or until the fish is heated through. Remove from the pan and, when cool enough to handle, flake and set aside.

Cook the basmati. It must rest for 5 minutes.

Melt the butter in a pan over a low heat and add the onion and garlic.

Allow to soften without colouring for about 5 minutes, then add the curry powder and cook for a couple of minutes more. Add the lentils, potato and juice of 1 lemon.

Peel and cut the eggs into quarters.

Add the rice mixture to the pan. If you are serving immediately, gently heat the mixture over a low heat, adding the egg and coriander towards the end – and being careful not to break the egg quarters.

If you are taking a break now, before serving, put the fish and rice mixture in an ovenproof casserole dish, arrange the egg and coriander on top, and put the dish, covered, into the preheated oven.

Serve with the second lemon, cut into wedges, creamy yoghurt and hot mango pickle or atchar.

4 5 6 7

PHOTOGRAPHS: Craig Fraser

serves 4

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salad nicoise

hake in beer batter

serves 4

serves 4

You can use seared tuna steaks (two steaks, 100g–200g each) in place of the tinned tuna. Please only use local albacore or yellowfin tuna that’s been pole-caught.

cold tap. This will arrest the cooking

ingredients • 200g fine green beans • 2 eggs, hard boiled and peeled • cos or gem lettuce, a handful per person • 1 large handful rocket or basil, or mix • ¼ cucumber • 3 ripe tomatoes, quartered • 8 baby potatoes, boiled and halved (optional) • ¼ red onion, peeled and thinly sliced or 2 spring onions, thinly sliced (optional) • 12 black/calamata olives, stones removed • 1 can tuna in oil • 10 anchovy fillets

cucumber and slice it lengthwise with

method First blanch your green beans. Drop the beans into boiling, unsalted water and allow them to cook for 2 minutes or so. Taste one. It should be firm and just tender, retaining all its bright green colour. They should not be cooked through. Now get the beans into a colander and run them under the

1

process so they keep their colour and don’t get soft. Wash the lettuce leaves and rocket/basil. Cut off a quarter of a cucumber. Now quarter that bit of the peeler, making sure you have a border of skin on all your peelings.

Thinly slice your onion, if using. Get the eggs in to boil. Cook for 10 minutes then leave in cold water until cool enough to handle. Peel and quarter.

2

De-stone the olives by squashing the olive with your thumb to split

the fruit. You should be able to pick out the stone, leaving the two halves joined. Make salad dressing.

3

Now place the gem or cos lettuce leaves flat on a plate and pile

the rocket/basil leaves in the middle.

Sprinkle with dressing. Now pile the green beans on top, and add a layer of cucumber slivers and onion. Sprinkle dressing all over the salad again. Place the tomato quarters, stoned olives, egg quarters and potato halves (if using) in a rough ring around the green heap in the middle. Drizzle with dressing. Scatter the tuna on top. Lastly, lay the anchovy fillets over the chunks in the salad. Dress the salad once more but don’t toss it.

ingredients • sunflower oil, for deep-frying • ½ tsp sea salt • 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper • 4 hake fillets (225g each) • 225g flour, plus extra for dusting • 285ml beer, cold • 3 heaped tsp baking powder method Unless you’ve got a really big fryer, don’t make fish and chips at home for more than four people. Start cooking the fish only when your oven chips are in the oven. They’ll be in there for half an hour, about the same amount of time you’ll need to cook your fish in batches.

Pour the sunflower oil into your deep-fat fryer or a large frying pan and turn up the heat to high. (We are aiming for 190ºC). Sprinkle salt and pepper on both sides of the fish fillets.

This will help to remove any excess water, making the fish really meaty (the same principle as pre-salting). Whisk together the flour, beer and baking powder until shiny. It should be as thick as semi-whipped double cream. Dust each fish fillet in a little of the extra flour.

Before you dip the fish in the batter, check that the oil is ready. A raw chip

1

2

or cube of bread should rise to the top easily, but the oil should not be smoking.

Dip the fish into the batter and allow any excess to drip off. Holding one end, lower the fillets into the oil one by one, carefully so you don’t get splashed – it will depend on the size of your fryer how many fish you can do at once.

Cook for 4 minutes or so, until the batter is golden and crisp. When one batch of fish is done, drain it on kitchen paper then simply pop it in the oven with the chips to keep warm (though don’t leave the fish in there too long; remember the oven is scorching hot).

I like lemon and tartar sauce with my fish, and malt vinegar and sea salt with my chips.

3

4

about the book In this fresh take on ocean-friendly fish, Daisy Jones gives us recipes that are simple, delicious and contemporary. This book is for home cooks who want to eat more fish and want to do the right thing. There are family favourites and crowd-pleasers featuring fresh fish and shellfish, but there are also bold flavours here to complement oily, salted, smoked fish…

Switching to green fish is an adventure. Star Fish (Quivertree Publications) is available in all good bookstores for R450.

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December 2014 / January 2015

17

parenting

the blame game When things go wrong in the family, from divorce to death or abuse, children may blame themselves – with serious consequences.

w

Take steps to prevent it, writes GLYNIS HORNING. or be quieter in the face of a potential crisis, and are prone to interpret this as a message that the ensuing chaos is their fault,” she explains.

Self-blame is fed by children being naturally self-centred. At this stage of their development they believe that everything that happens to them is linked to them, and often believe that by thinking about or wishing for something, or by doing or not doing something, they can make things happen. If only they had watered the

Address self-blame early so the child can get on with the business of being a child.

Many children blame themselves when those they love fall ill or die, fight or divorce, neglect them or even abuse them, and it can affect them years later as adults. “Young children, especially, don’t have access to the hard facts that we as adults do, or are unable to grasp them entirely,” says Joburg clinical psychologist Liane Lurie. “The only tangible source they have is themselves, and so the cycle of self-blame begins.”

A child’s world is centred on the stability of structures around them, Lurie says. “Adults are seen as omnipotent and as only good, so if something goes horribly wrong, the only reasonable explanation is to attribute it to themselves. Children are also often asked to behave better

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December 2014 / January 2015

flowers, or not made Mom and Dad angry, or had been kinder or cleverer or somehow better, this would not have happened.

Magical thinking, as it’s called, can sometimes offer a sense of control, which children crave. It’s frightening to deal with the reality of being powerless in the face of traumatic events, explains Joburg educational psychologist June Manala.

So it’s preferable to believe that if they just try harder or become better, they can change things back – the dead person may come back to life, or Mom and Dad may get together again. “This is necessary for psychological survival, but beyond a certain period the repercussions can be considerable,” she says.

“it’s not your fault” Self-blame can leave children weighed down by guilt for years, or wrapped in shame, preventing them from functioning fully and growing to their potential, Manala explains – more limiting self-beliefs are formed in childhood than at any other stage. They are also at risk of depression and anxiety disorders, and adolescents may attempt to escape in substance abuse and risky sexual, or other, behaviour (see “signs of self-blame in children” box).

It’s essential to overcome self-blame in order to heal. And the best way a parent can help lift the burden is with the words “It’s not your fault”. “These four words are truly one of the most powerful gifts an adult can give a child,” says Sue Bohlin, contributing author to Marriage, Family and Sexuality (Kregel). “This is a powerful truth that children need to hear and they can’t tell themselves; only an adult can.”

Be sure your body language reflects the words, adds Manala. “Younger children rely on nonverbal communication and can easily pick up inconsistencies, particularly in the facial expressions of adults.”

If a child still doesn’t respond, get professional help. “They must feel they are being taken seriously and that they are understood,” says Manala. Play therapy can help them express their feelings and resolve psychosocial challenges. Or cognitive behavioural therapy can show them how their thinking patterns are colouring their views, and teach them to examine their views more objectively, so they feel and cope better.

Through therapy, Hayley has come to terms with her gran’s death, and accepted it wasn’t her fault. “We’ve planted more pansies for Nana,” says her mom. “But she knows it’s just a lovely way of helping keep our memories of Nana alive – nothing more.”

signs of self-blame in children • Acting out (from anger, fear or subconsciously seeking punishment because they feel guilty) • Withdrawing (from feeling overwhelmed, worthless, depressed) • Complaining of aches or pains • Change in sleep and eating patterns • Regressing (bed-wetting, thumb-sucking) • Dropping in school grades • Engaging in risk-taking and sexual behaviour • Using alcohol or drugs (to soothe uncomfortable emotions) • Self-harming (chewing fingers, pulling out hair, cutting themselves) Ask your doctor about counselling or contact Sadag: 0800 21 22 23 or sms 31393

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

hen seven-year-old Hayley stopped eating and started acting out at school, her mother attributed it to grief for her late grandmother.

She was shaken when a therapist said it was more than that. “Hayley actually blamed herself for Nana’s death,” says the Pietermaritzburg hairdresser. “She was eaten by guilt, sure that if she’d remembered to water Nana’s pansies [a chore she’d neglected] and been a good girl, Nana wouldn’t have had a heart attack and died.”

stopping self-blame Self-blame can play out differently depending on its source, and should be addressed preemptively if possible “so the child can get on with the business of being a child, unburdened by it,” says educational psychologist June Manala. “Provide children with as much information as possible about what is happening in age-appropriate terms,” adds clinical psychologist Liane Lurie. “Remember that a child’s imagination is vivid and will fill in any remaining gaps.” after divorce When parents divorce, a child’s world falls apart, with changes in their family structure and routine, and often in where they live and go to school.

Self-blame thinking: “If I’d been a better person/behaved better, my dad or mom might still be here.”

What you (and your ex) need to say: “It’s not your fault – it’s about us. We won’t be getting together again, but we both love you and will always be there for you.”

Take care: “Avoid criticising each other in front of your child,” says Lurie. “Any conflict a child has about which parent to choose, or fear of displeasing the other, will create more self-blame.” after illness or death When someone a child loves gets seriously ill or dies, it can be too difficult to understand and too painful to accept, as can the fear it may bring that others they love could also get ill or die.

Self-blame thinking: “If I’d been a better person/behaved better, they might still be fine.”

What you need to say: “Sometimes children think a sickness or death is their fault.

Do you? It’s sad, but nothing you said or did made this happen. Are you frightened I may get sick or die too? Even if I did one day, you would be well cared for by X.” Take care: “Be careful of amplifying your child’s fears through incessant questioning,” says Lurie. “Introduce the topic and see what their questions are. Let them know that if there’s anything they’re worried about, you will always try to answer it as best you can.

Remember that a child’s primary language may be play – they may be more prone to open up if the setting is more relaxed and you gradually introduce potentially emotional topics.” after physical or sexual abuse When a child is abused, especially by a family member or adult in a position of trust, they often find it easier to blame themselves.

Self-blame thinking: “I must have made them want to do that to me; I let them do it.

I must be wicked or worthless. If they’re sent away, it’s my fault for telling.”

What you need to say: Sexual abuse can cause the most self-blame for numerous reasons, which you need to counter individually: • They may feel guilty that they didn’t fight: “It’s not your fault, you don’t yet have the mental or physical power of an adult – you could only do what you had to in order to survive.”

• They let the abuse go on: “It’s not your fault; you were confused (or led on, threatened or scared).”

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‘It’s not your fault’ is a powerful truth that children need to hear.

• They were aroused: “It’s not your fault; touch can feel nice or exciting, and our bodies respond automatically.”

• They enjoyed feeling special: “It’s not your fault – you deserve to feel loved and special, but adults must do it in an appropriate way.”

• They were told by the abuser it was their fault: “It’s not your fault. They said it because they knew what they were doing was wrong and they didn’t want you to tell on them.”

• The abuser was sent away because the child told on them: “It’s not your fault. It was right to tell – they need help, and now they can get it.”

• They have been abused before by different people: “It’s not your fault. People who do these things often pick on people who have been hurt before. I will see that you are safe. We will manage together.”

Take care: “A child will be especially prone to self-blame if they’ve been told by the abuser to be silent about what transpired,” says Lurie. “This enhances their sense of shame. Self-blame is also amplified when there’s been no appropriate adult intervention to stop the abuse. The child begins to believe they were not good enough for anyone to rescue them.”

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19

education

checked off Use the holidays to prep for the frantic back-to-school period, armed with CHILD MAGAZINE’S helpful reminders for every stage of your child’s schooling. preschool routine and schedule • Start preparing for the new school year by getting your child back into a routine. Get her to wake up at the same time she would for school, get dressed and have breakfast.

• Talk to your child about school and their first day. It is natural for children to experience separation anxiety and to shed a few tears during their first few days or weeks. Let her know what to expect and reassure her that you will see her at the end of the day.

• Find out who your child’s teacher will be and where the classroom is located in the school.

• Figure out how your child will get to school. Will you use a lift service or will either you or your partner be able to drop them off?

• Come up with a short and sweet goodbye ritual – a high five, a quick hug or “see you later alligator”. Routines are comforting and help your child to understand what is happening.

Whatever you decide, make sure you say goodbye. Don’t quickly disappear when she’s distracted. You want your child to trust you and not think you’ll disappear every time she turns her back.

• Ensure your child’s school bag is big enough and still in good condition.

• Some schools request that your child has a change of clothes available in the event of mishaps and a blanket or pillow for nap times.

• Ensure your child has a hat and sunscreen for outside play.

• Does your child have the right footwear?

Consider getting your child to wear shoes that are easy to slip on and off (no laces).

• Ensure that your child has suitable clothes for messy play and tumbles on the playground.

• Be considerate of the person changing your child’s nappies by opting for clothes that are easy to slip on and off.

play time • You may need to arrange for aftercare or extramurals if the preschool closes before you’re able to pick your child up.

Find out what the school’s operating hours are and note what activities they offer.

ready for school

create a budget • • • •

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December 2014 / January 2015

Set up a budget and decide what you need to buy now and what can wait.

Prioritise items that are compulsory, such as summer school uniforms.

Set aside an amount for expenses that come once school starts, like locker deposits.

Find out if you need to order through a specific store or stock shop. Or look around for good quality second-hand items, like textbooks.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

• If your child has any medical conditions or allergies, stock up on extra medication that the school may require in case of an emergency.

• Check that you have purchased all the necessary stationery and school supplies. The school should have supplied you with a list.

• Make sure everything is labelled. Use a laundry marker or order labels from a label company.

primary school routine and schedule • Before school starts, get your child into a good bedtime routine.

• If your child’s schedule is going to be different next year, explain this to them ahead of time. Talk to your child about what to expect after school has finished, such as where to go for aftercare, who will be picking her up and when.

ready for school • If you need to visit the school stock shop, find out when they are open and schedule time early in the holidays.

• Find out what school bags are acceptable or whether you have to buy bags from the school. Take into consideration how much your child will need to carry. Older children may have more books or your child may need different clothes for extramurals.

• Buy stationery, textbooks and exercise books early to avoid the rush. Use contact to cover books and textbooks to keep them in good condition.

• Label books and stationery, especially items such as pencil bags, scissors and calculators.

• Label all clothing items – school uniforms, sports and PE gear (if you already know what you need), hats and shoes. If your child is attending aftercare, label these clothes as well. Don’t buy or use new clothes for aftercare.

• Make an appointment for a haircut just before school starts. Boys’ hair should be out of the eyes and off the collar.

For girls, make sure clips or hairbands are the right colour. If hair is short, ensure it’s off the face.

play time • Does the school offer aftercare or do you need to pick up your child when school ends? For aftercare, find out what clothes and food is required and what’s provided.

• If your child is required to do sport, get any uniform or equipment early on.

• If extramurals are offered, discuss the options with your child and sign up early if you can.

• Check in advance what sort of swimming ability the school requires of children. If necessary, send your child to swimming classes during the holidays.

healthy lunchbox ideas • A sk your child what she’d like for lunches. Plan a few healthy lunches in advance and write a shopping list.

• Check if the school has a no nuts, sweets or junk food policy.

• Does your child have a water bottle?

• There are companies that deliver school lunchboxes directly to the school or to your door. Find out if there is one in your area.

• If your child is allowed to buy from the tuck shop, chat about healthy choices and what she should and shouldn’t buy.

Lunchbox fillers: • Cheese blocks, nuts and biltong, grapes, fruit kebabs, berries, cookie cutter veggies and cheese, apple bites with peanut butter dip

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Finger snack lunches: • C heese squares, mini cheese biscuits, chicken pieces, ham slices, cherry tomatoes, cucumber rounds and carrot or celery sticks Sandwich fillers: • C hicken mayo, cream cheese and cucumber, hummus, carrots and tomatoes Other ideas: • Sushi sarmies (cut the crust off the bread and roll it up with the filling inside), salad jars (layer salad ingredients in a bottle or plastic container; pack a fork).

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education

high school routine and schedule • Given that the first week is orientation for Grade 8s, make sure you know where and what time they need to meet on the first day.

• Remind your child to check the procedure for ordering name badges and booking lockers, and be prepared to pay a fee.

ready for school • Fit and buy school wear – uniforms, shoes and costumes – preferably only in January, to allow as much time as possible during the holidays for growth spurts.

• Take up hems to uniform standards ensuring that your daughter feels comfortable with the result.

• Wash new school uniforms before your child wears them so the fabric is not hard.

• Make sure your daughter has ample hair elastics that meet requirements, that your son’s hair is the right length, and that nails are short. Check the school’s ear piercings policy.

• For hygiene, suggest that your teen packs deodorant. Buy antibacterial waterless soap for school bags. If girls have just started their menstrual cycle,

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December 2014 / January 2015

remind them to always carry backup in their school bag and to not flush pads or applicators.

• Labels need to be done. You can use iron on labels for uniforms, but these often have to be redone throughout the year, so perhaps sew them in. It is recommended to buy a label printer, which works well for uniforms and stationery.

• Stock up on project stuff, such as flip files, cardboard and coloured paper.

• Buy pretty paper, cellotape and labels to cover books.

• Purchase plasters for blisters caused by new shoes.

• A laminator is handy for lesson handouts and study material.

• Keep a cupboard or shelf for spare stationery at home instead of sending all of your child’s stationery on the first day.

play time • Visit the school’s website with your child and discuss what sports, activities and possible language electives are available.

• Start a conversation with her about what to expect from initiation.

• Buy your teen that new hockey stick or pair of cricket gloves; the gesture makes a special occasion of starting high school.

health checks for the new year • • • • •

Get eyes tested, once your child can read or recognise letters.

Visit a dentist every six months.

Deworm your family at the beginning of the year and again after six months.

Check that immunisation cards are up to date.

Consider starting your child on a multivitamin before school starts, to avoid the inevitable spread of germs.

• Buy sunscreen to pack in your child’s bag. body awareness and safety When your child is ready, have a conversation about HIV and Aids. To start with, learn the facts yourself. Keep your conversation simple and age-appropriate, focusing on what your child can understand. For preschoolers, start with germ awareness. For older children, explain that HIV is a germ passed between people when they share body fluids. Be careful to explain that you can’t get HIV by being friends with someone, hugging them or sharing with them. If your child knows about sex, then perhaps mention that this is one way the germs are spread. If you haven’t discussed this topic yet, avoid mentioning sex, so your child doesn’t associate it with disease. Regardless, be prepared to answer questions about sex and death. Speak to children about their bodies and their private areas and let them know that no one is allowed to touch them there. For older children and teenagers, let them know it is okay to wait to have sex, and that they shouldn’t feel pressured into it.

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how to

old-fashioned fun Whether you’re travelling long distance

and need to pass the time or are just at a loose end during the holidays, beat boredom by playing these simple games with your children.

All you need is pen and paper.

By TAMLYN VINCENT

2 or more players Choose four numbers under 10.

Players must add, subtract, multiply or divide with these numbers to reach a total of 24. The first player to reach 24 wins.

word ladders

2 or more players Each player takes a sheet of paper and draws a head or face at the top. Players can be as creative as they like. They then fold the paper over so that only the lines for the neck are visible. Players pass their drawing to the person on the right, who draws the body of any creature they fancy, folding the paper over again so that only the tops of the legs are showing. On the next turn, players draw the legs, and then unfold the paper to reveal the drawing.

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1 or more players Players are given two words. Changing one letter at a time, the player must change the first word into the second.

other fun games to play

dots and boxes 2 players Create a grid of dots. Each player takes turns joining two dots together, using horizontal or vertical lines. If a player’s line creates a box, he may write his initial in the box and go again.

The player with the most boxes at the end wins.

ILLUSTRATIONS: shutterstock.com

heads, bodies and legs

24

• Noughts and crosses • Hangman • Battleships

Visit childmag.co.za/content/ pen-paper-games to download these and more games.

December 2014 / January 2015

23

calendar

what’s on in december and january

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see.

Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

5

FUN FOR CHILDREN – p26

ONLY FOR PARENTS – p28

Lucky Bean’s free holiday activities Children can enjoy a variety of holiday crafts and activities.

Matthew Mole South Africa’s hot, new musical talent eases audiences into the festive season.

bump, baby & tot in tow – p28

how to help – p29

Busytots holiday clinics Moms and toddlers spend time together with a variety of fun activities.

Animaltalk calendar Funds raised from the sales of the 2015 calendar go towards Animal Welfare.

SPECIAL EVENTS – p25 Aladdin Join Aladdin and his enchanted lamp in this family pantomime, which offers plenty of jokes, glamorous costumes and amazing sets.

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December 2014 / January 2015

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

fri

SPECIAL EVENTS

december 2014 1 monday Christmas lights See the Christmas lights and donate a new toy to the Toy Story box. Ends 1 January. Time: 6pm. Venue: 37 Romsey Grove, Durban North. Cost: free entry. Contact Annie: 031 564 6592 Matthew Mole This Capetonian singersongwriter performs hits from his debut album. Time: 8:30pm. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R130. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres. co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za The Princess and the Frog Spoilt Princess Applegreen learns to love, care for and support her friend the frog, who is really a prince under a spell. Ends 10 January. Time: 2pm Monday–Friday, 11am Saturday. Venue: Catalina Theatre, Wilson’s Wharf. Cost: R80–R205. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

2 tuesday Skungpoomery This whacky and hilarious play boasts a wondrously creative element as the characters and the audience indulge in clever wordplay. For children 7–13 years old. Ends 21 December. Time: 12pm and 2:30pm Monday–Friday, 2pm Saturday and Sunday. Venue: The Playhouse, Anton Lembede Rd, Durban. Cost: R100. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

4 thursday Uncle Jumbo’s Christmas Show A Christmasthemed pantomime for children of all ages.

Parents must take a wrapped, labelled toy for Santa to give to their children. Donations welcome. Ends 13 December. Time: 7pm Monday–Saturday. Venue: Kloof Civic Centre, Old Main Rd. Cost: R45. Contact: 071 871 3272 or 072 625 6721

5 friday

magazine durban

There is something fun for children and parents every day, including exercise classes, face painting, beach Olympics, a promenade walk and more. The Lizzard Summer Surf Event, 13 and 14 December, is for novice surfers from 6 years old to masters over 50. The trail run takes place on 14 December. Ends 23 December.

Time: varies. Venue: Umhlanga, North Coast. Cost: varies. Contact Umhlanga Tourism: 031 561 4257 or visit umhlangafestivals.co.za

Aladdin Join Aladdin and his enchanted lamp in this family pantomime, which features popular songs, jokes and amazing sets, from the Cave of Wonders to a golden Chinese palace. Ends 11 January. Time: varies. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN, Glenwood. Cost: R130–R210. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Carols by Candlelight Kick off the festive season with the popular Soweto Gospel Choir. Time: 7pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, John Zikhale Rd, Berea. Cost: R50–R120. Book through Webtickets: visit webtickets.co.za Dolphins by Starlight The show is packed with Christmas favourites for a great family sing-along, and the uShaka dolphins provide the splash and sparkle. A collection box is available for new toy donations for the East Coast Radio Toy Story Campaign.

Also 6, 7 and 12–14 December. Time: 7pm Friday–Sunday. Venue: Standard Bank Dolphin Stadium, uShaka Marine World.

Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

gathering. Time: 2:30pm and 7pm. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Westville Country Club, 1 Link Rd. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Newmarket Stables Christmas horseriding show This is a fun-filled horseriding show, incorporating show jumping, dressage and mini cross-country, for all levels of horse riders. Non-participants are welcome to watch. Time: 8am–2pm.

Venue: Newmarket Stables, cnr Goble Rd and NMR Ave, Durban. Cost: varies.

Contact Cindy: cindymeekers@telkomsa. net or newmarket@telkomsa.net

6 saturday

11 thursday

Highway Hospice Christmas fête This is an upmarket fête where you can find nearly new clothes, accessories, handicrafts, cakes and more. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: 59 Locksley Dr, Sherwood. Cost: free entry. Contact Cheryl: 031 208 6110 or cheryl@hospice.co.za Sugar Cane walk/run Walk 10km or 5km in support of Pinc’s cancer research.

Children can take bicycles and there are prizes to be won. Wear pink and a crazy hat. Time: 7:30am. Venue: Flag Animal Farm, Umhlali. Cost: 10km R90, 5km R50, includes entry to Flag Animal Farm. Contact: 032 947 2018 or visit flaganimalfarm.co.za

The Abba Show See the best of ABBA live in this interactive tribute show. Ends 18 January. Time: 8pm Thursday–Saturday, 3pm Sunday. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R250. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

7 sunday 1 December – The Princess and the Frog

Umhlanga Summer Festival

Chow-4-Now Kev Perkins aka Mike Naicker is back in Durban for one last

12 friday Reach for a Dream Christmas wrapping Help wrap gifts for Reach for a Dream. You can also drop off extra rolls of wrapping paper at their office at Gateway. Ends 24 December. Time and venues: 9am–10pm Gateway Theatre of Shopping, 10am–6pm Pick n Pay Hyper by the Sea, Durban North. Cost: gifts wrapped for donations. Contact: 031 566 2220 or projectskzn@reachforadream.org.za

13 sat

16 tuesday Christmas Light up the Night Take your family to enjoy the Christmas lights.

Father Christmas is there, plus there is a jumping castle and face painting.

Weather permitting. Ends 20 December.

Time: 6:30pm–8pm. Venue: CC&A gardens, 1 Old Main Rd, Kloof. Cost: cash donations can be made to the Keep Kloof Beautiful Association. Contact: info@keepkloofbeautiful.org.za or visit keepkloofbeautiful.org.za Shongweni Farmers and Craft Annual Christmas Market Enjoy a day of wonderful food, fun and live music by The Kickstands, along with a festive showcase of handcrafted items. Time: 9am–4pm.

Venue: 1 Fraser Rd, Assagay. Cost: free entry. Contact: info@shongwenimarket. co.za or visit shongwenimarket.co.za

19 friday Christmas Rocks The show offers a merry mix of rock-and-roll festive favourites with a sprinkling of jolly Christmas songs. Also 20, 21 and 24 December. Time: varies.

Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Ave, Umbilo. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Pet Shop Boys The pioneers of synthpop are supported by Goldfish and Goodluck. Time: 6pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Durban. Cost: R495– R1 295. Book through Webtickets: visit webtickets.co.za

December 2014 / January 2015

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calendar

family outings The After Forever Tour Madame Zingara returns to dazzle Durban with the antique mirror tent, exceptional acts, and a delectable four-course meal. Opens 22 January.

Time:

6:30pm.

Venue:

Suncoast

Casino, Beachfront. Cost: R440–

22

R495. Contact: 0861 623 263, boxoffice@madamezingara.com or visit

thu

theatreofdreams.madamezingara.com

21 sunday Tropika Summer Fever 2014 This beach festival offers entertaining activities like beach volleyball, a Mr and Miss Tropika competition and treasure-chest hunts.

Time: 10am–4pm. Venues: Margate main beach, South Coast, 21–24 December; Willard Beach, Ballito, 26–28 December.

Cost: free entry. Contact Candice: 011 471 1400 or candice.mann@clover.co.za

january 2015 10 saturday The Color Run Color Runners take part in the happiest 5km in Durban. Tickets include a T-shirt, sweatband, one bag of colour powder, and entry to The Finish Festival.

Time: starting time tbc. Venue: Ballito.

Cost: varies. Contact: hello@thecolorrun. co.za or visit thecolorrun.co.za

week of 19 January. Time: 3pm Saturday, 8:30am and 9:45am Tuesday. Venue: Alliance Française, 22 Sutton Crescent, Morningside. Cost: varies. Contact Denise: 031 312 9582 or afdbn@global.co.za Little Cooks Club A new term of Little Cooks, for children 2–6 years old, begins 15 January. Junior Chefs 7–15 years old starts 17 January. Time: varies. Venue: 14 Zenith Rd, Umhlanga. Cost: varies. Contact Katie: 073 282 7955, katiek@littlecooksclub.co.za or visit littlecooksclub.co.za Study Skills Course For Grades 5–7 or Grades 8–12. 11, 12, 13 and 15 December or 15, 17, 18 and 19 December. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Kip McGrath Education Centre Umhlanga, 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R3 200.

Contact Tracy-Lee: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556, admin@kipumhlanga.co.za or visit kipmcgrath.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science 12th Annual Affordable Art Show There is a wide variety of artwork on show, at affordable prices. 8 December– 17 January. Time: 9am–5pm Monday– Friday, 9am–2pm Saturday. Venue: 3 Millar Rd, Stamford Hill. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 0793 or visit artspace-durban.com

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December 2014 / January 2015

uShaka Kids World

uShaka Kids World Children 2–12 years old are kept entertained with activities, interactive areas, shows and more. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World, Durban Beachfront. Cost: adults R15, children R60. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play

classes, talks and workshops Children’s yoga Time: 11am–11:45am every Saturday. Venue: Centre of Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R40. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 French classes Register children 4–12 years old for the new term starting the

Books2You Book Sale There are hundreds of books to discover for children and adults.

1–12 December. Time: 8:30am–3:30pm.

Venue: Books2You Warehouse, unit 6 African Park, 21 Shepstone Rd, New Germany. Cost: free entry. Contact Kathy: 031 705 7744 Inchanga Choo Choo Steam Train Ride a steam train from Kloof to Inchanga station. Time: Father Christmas train 12:30pm, 20 December; Christmas carols 5pm, 20 December; 12:30pm and 5pm, 27 December; 8:30am and 12:30pm, 21 and 28 December and 4 January. Venue: departs Kloof Station, Old Main Rd. Cost: adults R180, children 2–12 years old R130.

Contact: 087 808 7715, 082 353 6003 or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za

Children’s yoga

Flag Animal Farm With rescued animals, a milking show, indoor play centre, coffee shop and more. Time: daily milking show 12pm and 3pm; professional reptile show 1:30pm every Sunday. Venue: Sheffield Beach. Cost: entry R33. Contact: 032 947 2018 Return of the swallows Masses of swallows gather before roosting. Take picnics, chairs and binoculars. Time: 5pm.

Venue: Mount Moreland viewing site. Cost: R10. For more info: visit barnswallow.co.za

The Animal Farmyard Feed the animals and see milking demonstrations. Time: 9am–4:30pm daily, milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill.

Cost: R15 entry, rides R5. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za

holiday programmes Animal Adventure Camp Activities include art and crafts, horse riding, kite making, feeding animals, milking shows and more. For 4–10 year olds. 11–19 December. Time: 9am–1pm Monday– Friday. Venue: Flag Animal Farm, Umhlali.

Cost: R50 per day. Contact Leigh: 071 686 3767 or animaladventurecamp@gmail.com Beach holiday adventure Children enjoy beach sports. 11–12 December and 12–15 January. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: Marine Surf Lifesaving Club, Addington Beach. Cost: R150–R480. Contact: flyingfishswimschool.dbn@gmail.com Busyballers holiday clinics Children aged 3–10 years old enjoy outdoor activities and games. There is a jumping castle, water bombs, slip ‘n slides, obstacle courses, crafts, and more. Time: 8am–12pm. Venues: Morningside Sports Club, 12 and 18 December, 13 and 15 January; Mount Edgecombe Country Club, 17 and 19 December. Cost: R120 per morning. Contact Lisa: 083 236 0059 or lisa@busyballers.co.za Computers 4 Kids holiday workshops For Grades R–7. You decide how many days to send your children. 11–19 December and 12–21 January. Time: 9am–11am Monday–Wednesday,12pm–2pm Monday– Friday. Venue: suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R120 per day. Contact: 031 566 1110, 074 113 8364 or umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za Festive season entertainment During the December holidays, Mr Funtubbles offers activities like face painting, sand art, decoration making, a magician, stiltwalking, bumper cars and more. Time: 9am–10pm. Venue: Mr Funtubbles, Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: entertainment free; some specials available on rides and games. For more info: visit mrfuntubbles.co.za Fun Zone at Galleria Shopping Mall Find entertainment for children, including video games, an art and craft

magazine durban

Cooking Kids Mini Chef course Children 6–13 years old join a fun three-day cooking competition and learn to cook a starter, main course and dessert. 10–12 December. Time: 1pm–2:30pm.

Venue: Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: R440 for all lessons. Contact Meryl: 031 764 6577

10 wed

station, air hockey, mini pool and a basketball arcade game. 11 December– 18 January. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Galleria Shopping Mall, cnr Moss Kolnik and Arbour Crossing, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free entry. Contact: anusha@word4word. co.za or visit galleria.co.za Holiday workshop An art, music and educational workshop for children 8–12 years old. 15–19 December. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Leaping Lizards, 37 Valerie Dr, Gillitts. Cost: R1 000. Contact Isabel: 083 470 5743 Junior Chefs December holiday programme Children 7–14 years old make fun dishes and festive gift ideas.

Time: 1pm–3:30pm 11, 15 and 17 December, 9am–11:30am 12, 16, 18 and 19 December. Venue: Little Cooks Club studio, 14 Zenith Rd, Umhlanga. Cost: R240 per day. Contact Katie: 073 282 7955, katiek@littlecooksclub.co.za or visit littlecooksclub.co.za Kings Sports A sports and activity camp for children 4–17 years old. 15–19 December. Time: 8am–2pm or 8am–4pm.

Venue: Curro Hillcrest Academy, 2 Blessing Ninela Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: varies. Contact: 010 500 8582, info@kingssports.co.za or visit kingssports.co.za

magazine durban

Little Cooks December holiday programme Children 2–6 years old learn to make dishes and holiday treats. They must be accompanied by an adult. Time: 9am–10:30am 11, 15 and 17 December, 2pm–3:30pm 12, 16, 18 and 19 December.

Venue: Little Cooks Club studio, 14 Zenith Rd, Umhlanga. Cost: R200 per day. Contact: 073 282 7955, katiek@littlecooksclub.co.za or visit littlecooksclub.co.za Lucky Bean’s free holiday activities These include personalised Christmas bauble workshops, decorated pine-cone classes, baking, making pom-pom families, and a gemstone scratch patch. Email for full programme. 9 December–16 January.

Time: 10am Tuesday–Friday. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: activities free, entry R20 for the first child, R15 per sibling.

Contact: 082 216 3892, info@luckybean. co (no .za) or visit luckybean.co (no .za) Santa at Suncoast There is face painting, shows, and more. 14–24 December. Time: varies. Venue: Suncoast Casino, Durban beachfront. Cost: varies. For more info: visit suncoastcasino.co.za Sugar Bay holiday camp For children and teens 7–17 years old, with over 100 activities to choose from. December holiday themes include Toy Story Week and Fizzy Week. First camp begins 6 December. Time: varies. Venue: Sugar Bay Resort, Zinkwazi Beach, North Coast. Cost: confirmed on booking. Contact: 032 485 3778, holidays@ sugarbay.co.za or visit sugarbay.co.za Summer holiday club Join the Treasure Beach team for holiday fun with a beach walk, recycling activities, teambuilding and

Wildlife Warriors holiday club

games. For children 6–16 years old. 11 and 12 December. Time: 8am–4pm. Venue: Wessa Treasure Beach Education Centre, 835 Marine Dr, Bluff. Cost: R100. Contact: 031 467 8507 or tatum.vansoelen@wessa.co.za Tots ‘n Pots holiday programme Children 3–12 years old stay busy with a cooking or baking activity and a craft.

December and January holiday dates tbc. Time: 10:30am–12:30pm. Venue: 2 Silver Oak Ave, Mount Edgecombe. Cost: R140. Contact Charlotte: 072 628 8642 or charlotte@totsnpots.com Trevi Camp Children experience fishing, baking, obstacle courses and more. For Grades 4–8. 11–16 December. Time: opens 2pm. Venue: Treverton School, R103, Mooi River. Cost: R2 800, includes boarding, meals and activities. Contact: adijkstra@ treverton.co.za or visit trevicamp.co.za Wildlife Warriors holiday club This one-week programme lets children 7–12 years old learn about Crow’s wildlife.

Children help make enrichment items for patients, make craft items and play games. Attendance for the full week is recommended, but children can attend one or two days. 15–19 December, and 5–9 and 12–16 January. Time: 7am–1:30pm. Venue: 15A Coedmore Ave, Yellowwood Park. Cost: R100 per day, R450 per week. Contact: 031 462 1127 or info@crowkzn.co.za

markets

Little Cooks December holiday programme

Morning Trade Find fresh ingredients, quality meats and wholesome food. Time: 8am–2pm every Sunday. Venue: 8 Morrison St, Durban. Cost: free entry. Contact: info@ themorningtrade.co.za or visit Facebook: The Morning Trade

Open Markets The charity shops, tea garden and nursery are open, plus there’s fun for children. Time: 8am–12pm every Monday and Saturday, 9am–1pm 28 December and 25 January. Venue: Kloof and Highway SPCA, 29 Village Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 764 1212/3 Shongweni Farmers and Craft Market Time: 6:30am–10:30am every Saturday.

Venue: cnr Kassier Rd and Alverstone Rd, Assagay. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 777 1674, info@shongwenimarket.co.za or visit shongwenimarket.co.za Stables Lifestyle Market With secure parking. Time: 6pm–10pm every Wednesday and Friday, 10am–5pm every Sunday. Venue: 9 Jaco Jackson Dr, Durban.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 3058

20 sat

Bieber and Buddies 25 October; 1 and 15 November; 20 and 27 December; 3 and 10 January. Time: 2pm. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R90. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

December 2014 / January 2015

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calendar Upmarket Umhlanga Find art, fashion, food and gifts. Time: 9am–2pm 7, 14, 21 and 28 December, 6pm–10pm 5 December.

Venue: Umhlanga Centre. Cost: varies. For more info: visit upmarketumhlanga.co.za

Sinder-fella An adult pantomime. 11 November–30 December. Time: varies. Venue: Suncoast Casino, Beachfront. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

on stage and screen Aladdin 5 December–11 January. Time: varies. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN, Glenwood. Cost: R130–R210. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Big Hero 6 This animated adventure is about robotics prodigy Hiro Hamada, his brother Tadashi and their friends. When a dangerous plot starts unfolding, Hiro turns to his companion, a robot named Baymax.

Opens 26 December. Time: varies. Venue: 3-D and other cinemas nationwide. Cost: varies. For more info: visit numetro.co.za or sterkinekor.com Christmas Rocks 19–21 and 24 December.

Time: varies. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Ave, Umbilo. Cost: R120.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

playtime and story time

playtime and story time Children’s story time For ages 3–8 years old. Time: 10am every Saturday.

Venue: The Book Boutique, 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Steam train rides At the Durban Society of Model Engineers. Second Sunday each month. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 a ride. Contact Gerald: 082 569 1383 or visit dsme.co.za

sport and physical activities

9 January – Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast

Dolphins by Starlight 5–7 and 12–14 December. Time: 7pm Friday–Sunday. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com Skungpoomery For children 7–13 years old.

2–21 December. Time: 12pm and 2:30pm Monday–Friday, 2pm Saturday and Sunday.

Venue: The Playhouse, Anton Lembede Rd, Durban. Cost: R100. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com The Princess and the Frog This show is filled with whacky humour, music and dance. 1 December–10 January. Time: 2pm Monday–Friday, 11am Saturday. Venue: Catalina Theatre, Wilson’s Wharf. Cost: R80–R205. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast Tinker Bell and the Disney Fairies take an epic adventure when animal fairy Fawn befriends a creature known as the NeverBeast. The elite Scout Fairies set out to capture the monster before he destroys their home. Opens 9 January. Time: varies.

Venue: cinemas nationwide. Cost: varies.

For more info visit Facebook: Disney Fairies Uncle Jumbo’s Christmas Show Tickets available at the door or Kloof Village Mall Superspar. 4–13 December. Time: 7pm Monday–Saturday. Venue: Kloof Civic Centre, Old Main Rd. Cost: R45. Contact for bookings: 071 871 3272 or for more info: 072 625 6721

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December 2014 / January 2015

Edubabe Childminder training, first-aid workshops and cooking classes. Time: varies.

Venue: Glenwood. Cost: varies. Contact Kate: 071 968 1007 or durban@edubabe.co.za Pregnancy yoga Time: 9:30am–10:45am, every Saturday. Venue: Centre for Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R260 per month. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za

Adventure Kids Swim School For children 1–15 years old. Time: 2pm–5pm Monday–Thursday. Venue: Glenashley Preparatory School, Durban North. Cost: R400 per month. Contact: 084 624 5962 or visit adventurekidsswim.weebly.com Taekwondo Tornados Time and venue: from 3:30pm every Wednesday, Westville Library; from 2pm every Tuesday, Hillcrest Library. Cost: R130 per month. Contact: 082 876 0628 or tkdtornados@gmail.com

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Domestic Workers cooking courses A variety of dishes are covered, as is hygiene, nutrition, time management and menu planning. Begins 20 January.

Time: 8:30am–11am every Tuesday. Venue: Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: R1 000. Contact: 031 764 6577, meryl@merylschoolofcooking.co.za or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za e-Learner computer course This eightweek course starts 2 December. Time: 9am–12pm Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R3 600, includes exam fee for the certificated course.

Contact: 031 566 1110, 074 113 8364 or umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za Pilates in Motion The studio offers Pilates, barre workouts, Tae Bo and toning classes. Time: varies. Venue: Glenwood.

Cost: varies. Contact Laura-May: 082 443 4533 or info@pilatesinmotion.co.za

on stage and screen 80s Rewind Also a special New Year’s Eve performance. 14 October–10 January.

Time: 8pm Tuesday–Saturday, 2pm Sunday, 9pm New Year’s Eve. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost:

varies. Contact: 031 566 3045 or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za Chow-4-Now 7 December. Time: 2:30pm and 7pm. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre WCC, Westville Old Boys Hall, Westville Country Club, 1 Link Rd. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com Matthew Mole Time: 8:30pm. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R130. Contact: 031 566 3045 or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za The Abba Show 11 December– 18 January. Time: 8pm Thursday–Saturday, 3pm Sunday. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R250. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com The After Forever Tour The dinner theatre opens 22 January. Time: 6:30pm.

Venue: Suncoast Casino, Beachfront. Cost: R440–R495. Contact: 0861 623 263, boxoffice@madamezingara.com or visit theatreofdreams.madamezingara.com

out and about Reunite team building This one-day event includes a team-building workshop, lunch and a team activity. By appointment.

Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Giba Gorge or your venue. Cost: R650–R850. Contact: 082 451 8087, naretha@consideredcreative.co.za or visit consideredcreative.co.za

support groups ADDicted to Life They address the concerns of parents or guardians of children with ADD or ADHD. Venue: St Augustine’s Hospital, Glenwood. Contact: 031 822 8573, 083 293 2145, addictedtolifeteam@ gmail.com or visit Facebook: ADDicted to life team Choc – Childhood Cancer Foundation For support and more info, contact: 086 111 2182, dbn@choc.org.za or visit choc.org.za SADAG For those suffering from depression or drug abuse or who may be suicidal. For more info or support groups: visit sadag.org

Baby Bright Stars Interactive classes for moms and babies. Time: varies. Venue: Westville. Cost: R850. Contact Kelly: 083 777 4578, kelly@babybrightstars.co.za or visit babybrightstars.co.za Busytots holiday clinics Moms and children 1–5 years old have fun with baking, art and crafts, ball skills, obstacle courses, sensory play and water play.

17–19 December and 12–16 January.

Time: 9am–11am. Venue: 4 Halford Rd, Musgrave. Cost: R100. Contact Lisa: 083 236 0059, Camilla: 082 453 4413 or info@ busytots.co.za Clamber Club Movement and stimulation classes for babies 8 weeks–12 months old, and children 1–4 years old. Time: varies.

Venues: Ballito, Hillcrest and Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact Ballito: 076 222 2946, Hillcrest: 084 577 7630, Kloof: 083 259 2746 or visit clamberclub.com Gap Group Sensory play groups for moms and babies. Time: varies. Venue: 23 Levenhall Rd, Glenmore. Cost: first term R680, following terms R480. Contact: 071 885 4618 or heather.gap@gmail.com Little Me Moms and Toddlers workshops Fun workshops for toddlers 1–3,5 years old and moms. Time: varies.

Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R75. Contact Eleanor: 084 821 6668 or visit littleme. yolasite.com Shongololo Shakers Music, puppet and movement classes for children 0–4 years old. Time: varies. Venues: Durban North and Winston Park. Cost: varies. Contact Beverley: 060 350 7323, Corrine: 083 893 5155, info@shongololoshakers.co.za or visit shongololoshakers.co.za Toptots Children 8 weeks–4 years old learn and play. Time: varies. Venues: branches in Ballito, Durban North, Glenwood, Hillcrest, Westville, PMB Hayfields and Hilton. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, admin@ toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Busytots open days Moms with children aged 1–3 years old can have a cup of coffee and find out more while children play. 12, 14 and 16 January. Time: 2pm–3:30pm.

Venue: 4 Halford Rd, Musgrave. Cost: free.

Contact: 083 236 0059, 082 453 4413 or info@busytots.co.za

Clamber Club

magazine durban

support groups Mothers 2 Baby For all moms who find motherhood challenging. Babies welcome.

Time: 10am–11:30am, third Thursday of every month. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, Kassier Rd. Cost: free. Contact clinical psychologist Hayley: 061 453 3718

how to help Animaltalk calendar The 2015 Kittens and Puppies calendar, in aid of Animal

Welfare, makes an ideal Christmas gift. A single calendar costs R149, with discounts when you order two or more. Contact: 011 468 2090, subscriptions@panorama.co.za or order online at coolmags.com I Care Support, education and rehabilitation of street children. Donate clothes, shoes, particularly boys’ clothes for 7–18 year olds and boys’ shoes, sizes 4–8. Nonperishable food, household items and furniture also appreciated. Drop at 57 Hambridge Ave, Somerset Park, or they collect. Contact: 031 572 6870 or visit icare.co.za

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

if you’re visiting cape town

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

19 december–10 january Cinderella Time: 7pm. Venue: Artscape Theatre. Cost: R50–R150. Contact: 021 421 7695, boxoffice@artscape.co.za or visit artscape.co.za

12 december–28 february The Art of the Brick SA Up to 70 sculptures use more than a million Lego bricks. Venue: Watershed Exhibition Centre, V&A Waterfront. Cost: adults R140 and children R95. For more info: visit theartofthebricksa.co.za or book at computicket.co.za

if you’re visiting gauteng 12–15 december DStv Kids Xtravaganza Dora the Explorer and Spongebob Squarepants perform daily. Time: shows at 9:30am, 12:30pm and 3:30pm. Venue: Vodacom World, 082 Vodacom Boulevard, Midrand. Cost: R135. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

1–31 december Jakaranda Christmas Light Festival Houses at the Jakaranda Children’s Home have been festively decorated. Time: 6pm–10pm. Venue: 1 Talitha Kumi St, East Lynne. Cost: R10 per person, R20 per person on concert nights. Contact: 012 800 4700 or visit jacarandachildren.co.za

3–7 december The Montecasino Christmas Village Time: varies. Venue: Montecasino, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: free. Contact: 011 510 7995 or visit montecasino.co.za

2 december–1 march Tutankhamun – His Tomb and His Treasures The exhibition has reconstructed the tomb of Tutankhamun. Time: 9am–7pm Sunday–Thursday, 9am–9pm Friday– Saturday and public holidays. Venue: Silverstar, Muldersdrift, Mogale City. Cost: adults R160, students R120, children 6–18 years old R100. For more info: visit tut-exhibition.co.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za. Information must be received by 6 January for the February issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

magazine durban

December 2014 / January 2015

29

finishing touch

wild things CASSANDRA SHAW recalls her carefree childhood and hopes that her son also gets to develop a sense of wonder for nature.

i

had a big backyard when I was a child, where I often climbed trees. I also caught bugs in jars, ate wild flowers and spent a lot of time beachcombing.

In most of my early photos I looked like a carefree child with wild, sun-kissed hair and a fine layer of dirt coating my skin.

In comparison to my son, our early years couldn’t be further apart. He lives in a flat and his backyard consists of a fake section of grass that lines the base of our balcony. There’s nothing wrong with being a city boy, but it’s very obvious where he comes from whenever we take him out into the country. For starters, he’s like a child in a sweet shop. There is endless space for him to explore and be as noisy as he likes.

He loves it! But there are other times when the elements are just too much for him, like

when he insists on wearing snow boots in 27 degree weather and being carried by his dad because he keeps getting sand in his shoes.

The most distinguishing characteristic though is how he reacts to the unexpected.

We recently went away for a weekend

he was quite nervous being around these gigantic, prehistoric-looking birds strutting their stuff. Surprisingly, though, he had no problem when it came time to feed a couple of cheetahs their breakfast and dinner... sure, they were in captivity, but it made me think there was hope for him yet.

There is endless space for him to explore and be as noisy as he likes. He loves it! to the Klein Karoo, and one morning he called out for us, slightly panicked, when a large fly landed in front of him – he thought it was a bee coming to sting him. And when we were out for a walk and were followed by a couple of ostriches in heat who decided to perform for my husband,

I was definitely more scared in that instant than he was.

I suppose that exposure to such things is the main way for children to become more adjusted and well-rounded. With exposure I’ve certainly become more “citified” over the years – perhaps a little

too much, especially since moving to South Africa. In my defence though I think living in a place where you haven’t grown up knowing what all of the plants, animals and bugs are capable of, can put you a bit on edge – especially when it comes to your children and their interaction with them.

Perhaps we both need to explore the countryside a bit more and see what’s out there. I’m pretty sure my son would be up for it, but I think the retired tomboy I am, is more nervous of the prospect than he is.

Cassandra has enjoyed sharing the Shaw clan’s stories and experiences with you this past year. She and her family wish you and your families a very happy holiday season and an eventful New Year filled with fun and memorable stories of your own.

family marketplace

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December 2014 / January 2015

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: MENKE BONNEMA

Cassandra and her son

books

a good read for toddlers 6 Friends have Fun in the Wild

By Brenda Apsley and Marie Allan (Published by Human and Rousseau, R139) Who is it going to be: lion, hippo, monkey, tiger, zebra or elephant? Which of Griff the Giraffe’s best friends can help him with his big surprise? Children from the age of three to six years old can create the story as they go along. They choose bumper picture magnets to complete the pages, and the big bonus is that the magnets can be detached so they can play again. The six soft and thick magnets attach to certain areas on each page, and children love the interactive nature of the story that enables them to decide which animal character will take part in every activity suggested by Griff. The book is not recommended for children under three years old due to the small parts, which may be a choking hazard.

for early graders How Crab lost his Head

By Nick Greaves and David du Plessis

wond e world r

(Published by Random House Struik, R117) Why are dog and man friends? Why does a bat hang upside down? Author Nick Greaves continues the ancient tradition of storytelling in this renamed and freshly jacketed edition by recounting the myths and legends of southern African tribes. Aimed at seven to 12 year olds, the 19 stories in this volume introduce a magical cast of characters, from a feisty buck, greedy vultures and a bewitched crocodile to an arrogant bat and the perpetually crafty hare. The collection of tales is a delightful addition to the successful series by the author, including When Hippo was Hairy, When Lion Could Fly, When Elephant was King, and When Bat was a Bird. With stunning, full-colour illustrations

by David du Plessis, and extra facts on the animals featured in the stories, this is a book that can be enjoyed and treasured by the whole family.

The Complete Book of Flower Fairies

By Cicely Mary Barker (Published by Penguin Group, R344) This complete collection of Cicely Mary Barker’s Flower Fairies for children aged five to nine years old is also perfect for all fans of flower fairies.

This wonderful collection includes all the original flower fairy poems and illustrations by Cicely Mary Barker from her classic books. Barker’s Flower Fairies have been ethereal companions to girls and women around the world ever since the publication of her first book in 1923. The magical illustrations have inspired generations of children to search for fairies at the bottom of their gardens. There is something delightfully charming about the delicate, childlike fairies of Barker’s imagination. Once seen, they are never forgotten.

for us Cook. Better

By Nikki Werner and Brandon de Kock (Published by Quivertree Publications, R395) This is not a cookbook; it’s a book about cooking. Think of it as cooking between the lines. It is the “ta-da” moment for those who have been cooking, duty-bound, for years, but didn’t show up for the basic training.

There are recipes, but this book is about the journey, not the destination, so taking centre stage are the hows and whys behind everyday ingredients and techniques – when to use coarse or finely ground salt; best pairings for common garden herbs; extracting and building flavour; champion chopping techniques; and foolproof fillet. After reading this book you will realise what’s been missing from your life.

for preschoolers The Dinosaur that Pooped the Past!

By Tom Fletcher, Dougie Poynter and Garry Parsons (Published by Random House Struik, R76) Read along with Tom and Dougie as Danny and Dinosaur make history in their third adventure for children up to the age of seven years old. When they accidently go back through history on a timetravelling swing, Danny and Dinosaur meet some new dinosaur friends. But soon there’s a rumbling noise; it’s a volcano about to erupt. Can Dinosaur save the day by pooping them back to the future? Find out in this hysterical historical adventure from the creators of The Dinosaur that Pooped Christmas and The Dinosaur that Pooped a Planet. The authors love reptiles and space, and after writing songs together for nine years in the band McFly, they wrote The Dinosaur that Pooped books the same way they write their song lyrics.

for preteens and teens Lockwood & Co.: The Whispering Skull

By Jonathan Stroud

s

es mel a ti ale t

(Published by Doubleday, R247) Ghosts and ghouls beware – London’s smallest, shabbiest and most talented psychic detection agency is back. Life is never exactly peaceful for Lockwood & Co. Lucy and George are trying to solve the mystery of the talking skull trapped in their ghost jar, while Lockwood is desperate for an exciting new case. Things seem to be looking up when the team is called to Kensal Green Cemetery to investigate the grave of a sinister Victorian doctor. Strange apparitions have been seen there, and the site must be made safe. As usual, Lockwood is confident; as usual, everything goes wrong.

The author of the blockbuster Bartimaeus Sequence delivers another humorous and chilling instalment in the critically acclaimed Lockwood & Co. series for children from the age of nine to 12 years old.

The Children of the New Forest

By Frederick Marryat (Published by Faber and Faber, R212) This classic was first published in 1847, but a tale of children making decisions for themselves, getting into life-threatening situations – and getting out of them – still fascinates young ones today. When Roundhead soldiers drive the orphaned Beverley children from their home, they have no idea where they will go or how they will survive. But taken in by their late father’s gamekeeper, Jacob, they learn to live a new life. They gradually shed their aristocratic sensibilities and adapt to the simple ways of the forest. But when Charles II raises an army and the spectre of war returns to haunt the Beverley children, they realise they cannot hide from their true identity.

parenting book Ready to Learn, Ready for School

By Melodie de Jager (Published by Metz Press, R135) This is a practical guide to help parents, teachers and caregivers keep a watchful eye on and enhance a child’s development. The first six years write the script for a child’s school life, and there is a direct correlation between a child’s self-image and his ability to learn easily at school. This book is a map that activates a blinking red light when a developmental problem starts to grow and makes the green light shine when the skills discussed here are ticked off. Red lights simply mean that skilled professionals could be called on to help overcome developmental hiccups. The book includes practical tips and advice terms.