Durban's Child DecJan 2011

D U R B A N ’ S

B E S T

G U I D E

F O R

P A R E N T S

happy

holidays 82

exciting things to do this school break

stop

the strop

what’s cooking?

tantrum taming, from toddler to teen

www.childmag.co.za

Dec 2010 / Jan 2011

FREE

furry friends

fun lunch recipes to inspire the little chef in your life

a match made in heaven, or not...

health

education

entertainment

For the first time in seven years we’ll be celebrating Christmas at home.

As family descends on us from all four corners of the earth, my instinct will be to go into a festive frenzy.

But the whole point of not going away is to give the children a good dose of family fun, without any of the rat-race routine.

One of my fondest childhood memories is of Christmas Eve, when we as a family celebrated together, leaving Christmas Day for the more serious, religious ceremonies.

I loved Christmas Eve. My brother and I would decorate the tree. I’d set the table, pick the flowers and personalise the crackers – all the while longing to unwrap the presents lying under the tree. My gran was always on top form; she had a way of spinning her spoon on the table so as to nominate one of us to tell the rest of the family a joke. Sometimes her spoon would catapult across the table. For a strict Presbyterian family, this was raucous behaviour – and we loved it. After dinner my dad would hand out the gifts. I remember every one being really happy and the food being amazing, yet no-one stressed about any of it – ever.

That is what I want this Christmas to be like. So, I am going to do my best not to stress about preparing or presenting things perfectly, but instead make sure I take time just to be. Let the children decorate the tree “badly”, let them set the table “incorrectly”, let them just be! And hopefully they too will look back and remember this Christmas with a smile that lingers…

Wishing you all a truly fun and peaceful festive season.

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Elaine Eksteen • elaine@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za

monthly circulation Cape Town’s Child magazineTM 45 153 Joburg’s Child magazineTM 52 666 Durban’s Child magazineTM 40 792

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Advertising Director Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

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Durban’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

Office address: 1st Floor, MB House, 641 Ridge Road, Overport, 4091. Tel: 031 209 2200, fax: 031 207 3429, email: durban@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Durban’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may arise from reading them.

December 2010 / January 2011

3

contents

december 2010 / january 2011 upfront 3

a note from lisa

6 over to you readers respond

24

8 reader’s blog Samantha Summerfield on her baby girl’s taste-testing escapades

features

health

12 so not funny

nearly teens tell Leonora Found about

parent-habits that embarrass them

9 sunshine blues Tamlyn Vincent on sun protection

14 tantrum taming Tracy Ellis gives tips on managing children’s strops

11 stop the car!

Chareen Boake looks at motion sickness

18 pet prep what to weigh up before buying the family a furry friend. By Lucille Kemp

13 tooth-side seats Elaine Eksteen asks for ideas for upping the popularity of tooth-brushing time

18

regulars 7

wins

10 upfront with paul Paul Kerton would love to know if being “normal” is an advantage 27 resource your first-aid kit check list.

By Tamlyn Vincent 28 resource five day trips close to your city.

By Tamlyn Vincent

30 what’s on in december and january

20 mxit for dummies Marc de Chazal explains teenagers’ favourite instant text messaging tool 24 what’s for lunch?

fun recipes children can make from

Katy Ashworth’s book I Can Cook 26 precious cargo

buckle up your children! Marina Zietsman explains why

42 last laugh sometimes Sam Wilson’s sons are her conscience

classified ads 38 family marketplace 40 it’s party time

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

thinkstockphotos.com

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December 2010 / January 2011

thinkstockphotos.com

thinkstockphotos.com

magazine durban

magazine durban

December 2010 / January 2011

5

letters

over to you montessori schools explained We received a number of calls from people who felt our coverage of Montessori schools in the resource entitled “education matters” in our August issue was incorrect. In response to their comments we asked the South African Montessori Association to give us some insight into the two areas about which readers expressed concern. Here’s what they had to say…

buddy stole our hearts Congratulations on the new addition to your household, Lisa [Mc Namara, publisher]. My husband is a doglover, and my six-year-old daughter has inherited this passion from him. We have been doing a lot of research to find the best dog for her – a dog that is good with children and has the right temperament. We have finally decided on a Beagle. She saw the picture of Buddy in your October issue and is very excited about getting one of her own.

Rajashree

full of ideas I received a call from one of the Acres of Love volunteers today to say how great Child magazine is. She takes one of our homes on an outing every weekend. The usual movies, zoo, ice cream options were becoming a bit boring and she is now excited about getting new ideas from your magazine.

At present, we have around 150 children in our care and are constantly on the lookout for things for the children to do. We will also be drafting the December holiday programme shortly and will definitely consult your magazine for ideas.

David Potter

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December 2010 / January 2011

Sometimes the word “holistic” is taken out of context when referring to Montessori schools. Our approach is to acknowledge the whole child and to provide an environment that meets the needs of the child on a physical, emotional, social, intellectual and spiritual level.

With regard to your point about children struggling when they leave a Montessori environment and enter a traditional school, I think that it is fair to say that some children do take time to adjust to their

great magazine Thank you for the best parent-help magazine around.

You cover everything from health to parties and add a bit of humour to keep it all together and sane. It is much appreciated. I cannot wait to receive my copy to see what is new or interesting each month – even though it’s sometimes difficult to find some magazine-me time.

Belinda I am granny to five grandchildren and they are like jewels: the best gifts we have ever been given. Two of the little ones, who live in Portugal, both suffer from eczema. I was delighted when I saw your magazine for the first time and what a pleasure to read “the itch you can’t scratch”, the article on this skin disease in your August issue. I am sending this magazine to my daughter-in-law in Portugal.

Lea Pitout

new surroundings. This is also true for children coming into Montessori from traditional schools, and also applies to children moving between different traditional settings. Changes to children’s routine and the new personalities they encounter, in adults and their new peers, all play a role in the child’s adjustment process. Some children are more cautious and accept the challenges of change less easily than others. The Montessori approach of preparing children for life means that we strive to give children the ability to build self-confidence and self-worth alongside the academic learning that occurs on a daily basis. In my experience, most children who move from Montessori into traditional schools do so with little trauma and are often eager to rise to the new challenges presented to them.

Heidi van Staden President South African Montessori Association

Thank you so much for a wonderful magazine, I really look forward to the recipes and activities or crafts to make with my toddler – we have great fun with the ideas. Also a huge thank you for my Toddler Sense prize.

Olivia Schroeder

write to us We would like to know what’s on your mind.

Send your letters to: marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

magazine durban

wins

giveaways

in december & january

favourite flavours Ceres brings you 100 percent pure fruit juice that’s perfect for your whole family. It’s a smart beverage option for children as it contains no preservatives, colourants or added sugar.

Ceres Fruit Juices are packaged in low-carbon-footprint Tetra Pak cartons that protect the juice and its nutrients from light, oxygen and micro-organisms, ensuring a longer shelf life.

Five readers of Durban’s Child will each win a Ceres Fruit Juices hamper worth R400. Each hamper contains a Ceres picnic backpack and a variety of family-size fruit juices, including the 200ml packs, perfect for children’s lunch boxes. To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with “Ceres DBN Win” in the subject line or post your entry to Ceres DBN Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 31 January 2011.

Only one entry per reader.

winning start Nestlé has introduced four new variants to its Nestum Infant Cereals range: Stage 2 Happy Dreams Chamomile and Happy Dreams Carrot & Orange Blossom, and Stage 3 Strawberry & Banana and Spinach & Carrot. The new Nestlé Nestum range contains probiotics plus iron, zinc, and vitamin A and C, for a strong immune system.

Two readers of Durban’s Child stand a chance to win a Nestlé Nestum hamper valued at R1 200, which includes Stage 2 and 3 products, a Nestlé sing-along DVD, a digital thermometer and a children’s book. Simply name one new variant of Nestlé Nestum and email your answer and details to win@childmag.co.za with “Nestlé DBN Win” in the subject line or post your entry to Nestlé DBN Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 31 January 2011. Only one entry per reader.

premium performance The team at Huggies is always working on ways to make your life easier. They understand that, like your own underwear, your baby’s nappy shouldn’t be shaped the same at the back and front. The new Huggies Gold nappy is asymmetrical to avoid bulkiness and chafing between your baby’s legs, plus it has body-contoured double-leg elastic and shaped tapes for an overall better fit.

Three readers of Durban’s Child stand a chance to win a three-month supply of Huggies Gold valued at R1 650. To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with “Huggies Gold DBN Win” in the subject line or post your entry to Huggies Gold DBN Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 31 January 2011. Only one entry per reader.

lost and found Have you ever wished you had a way of summoning your keys when you’ve lost them? With a million things to remember it’s no wonder there’s a little loskop in all of us, which is why the Find One Find All (FOFA) for your wallet, keys, cellphone and the like is great. Attach the FOFA device to your wallet and keys, “call” the missing item and it’ll beep and flash. The pack includes one Keyfob and one Flat Wallet Finder, attachment materials, instructions and batteries. For more info call 0861 115 537 or visit fofa.co.za Ten readers of Durban’s Child stand a chance to win a FOFA-XD Single Keyfob Finder plus Flat Wallet Finder valued at R349. To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with “FOFA Win” in the subject line or post your entry to FOFA Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 31 January 2011. Only one entry per reader.

congratulations to our October winners Anuchia Durgapersad, Avita Haripersad, Charmaine Bezuidec, Deshnee Pillay, Julie Foster, Kim Costopoulos, Mona Kitchen, Nicci Weymouth, Samantha von Schoenebeck and Suri Gounden who each win a Nazo hamper; Lesley Gilbert who wins a maxi micro scooter; Angie Wessels, Lee-Anne Naicker, Chetna Govind and Yasmina Baulackey who each win a Protect-A-Bed family pack.

magazine durban

December 2010 / January 2011

7

blog

insects, yum!

A normally laid-back mom gets into a bit of a flap over one of her

have never experienced anything quite like my 10-month-old daughter’s dogmatic approach to tasting everything that her eyes can see and her hands can grasp.

I have found her with all sorts of tasty morsels in her mouth, from the foam letters of her play mat to the edge of the bedroom carpet. Most recently, she has absurdly taken to licking the washing machine door and jumping up and down when it spins!

I don’t worry too much about what she discovers, as I believe it is part of her learning and development. However, I do get down onto the floor with her to make sure she doesn’t find things that are unsafe. I’ll crawl behind her, sit with her and watch how intently she examines things. In doing so, I get the privilege of seeing the world through the eyes of a baby.

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December 2010 / January 2011

It astounds me how she is able to look at something as mundane as a piece of string as if it is the most exciting and intriguing object she has ever seen. You can almost hear her assessing her find: Do I eat it? Do I put it over my head? Do I shake it up and down? Wait, I’ll do what I always do – I’ll eat it.

It’s her incessant taste testing that managed to get the ordinarily laid-back me into a bit of a flap last night…

When I was younger I was fearless.

Except for my phobia of moths, that is.

Somewhere along the way I seem to have picked up a few more unwarranted fears – creepy crawlies, dust balls and creatures that go crunch when you stand on them can send me into a flat spin, but motherhood is forcing me to face some of these phobias.

On this occasion, the three of us were in the kitchen – Dad and I were preparing

dinner – when we realised she was quiet enough to have found something extremely fascinating. I bent down to take the object out of her mouth and, to my absolute horror, discovered the wing of a moth in her one hand, and the rest of the poor creature halfway out of her very pleased little mouth!

I fought off the nausea as I extracted the bits of dead insect from her mouth, while she protested about us taking away her grand find.

Even though there are moments that make me want to regurgitate last night’s dinner, I feel privileged to experience her journey of discovery. I look forward to watching her as she learns and grows in the months and years to come. As scary as it is that all this happens so fast, truth be told, I will be grateful for the time when the fishmoths that sometimes creep in the cupboard are no longer automatically placed in her mouth.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to elaine@childmag.co.za

magazine durban

ILLUSTRATION: SAMANTHA SUMMERFIELD

daughter’s recent taste tests. By SAMANTHA SUMMERFIELD

health

sunshine blues How can parents protect children from sunburn?

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

TAMLYN VINCENT investigates.

ummer days are often about sitting outside at the pool, playing on the beach or enjoying a braai.

But spending too much time in the sun can be dangerous, particularly for babies and toddlers.

Sun damage to young children has a permanent carcinogenic effect, says Johannesburg-based GP Dr Paula Smart.

This usually manifests later on in life as skin cancer, she says. “If a baby burns badly that damage is done, you can’t undo it,” says Smart. Most sun exposure happens in the first 15 to 18 years of our lives, and several bad burns significantly increase the risk of skin cancer. Toddlers and babies are also at greater risk as they have more sensitive skin and burn more easily.

There are, however, a number of precautions parents can take. Dr Marc Röscher, medical director of the Skin Centre in Umhlanga, says a sunblock with zinc and titanium dioxide is ideal for babies and toddlers. “It provides excellent sun protection and, in addition, is safe if ingested. Furthermore, due to babies having a large skin-surface-to-mass ratio, systemic absorption is not an issue.”

Sunblock should be applied every two hours throughout the day, and more often if children are swimming as it comes off in water, or gets rubbed off by towel drying. If children are near water, sand or concrete, the reflection can also cause burning.

But don’t get complacent during winter or on cloudy days as the sun can be harmful then too. So, “put cream on straight away in the morning,” says Smart, who also suggests choosing a hypoallergenic sunblock with an SPF factor based on skin type and the environment. Experts recommend using an SPF of between 20 and 50, but no higher, as this offers only marginally more protection and creates a false sense of security in the sun. magazine durban

“Physical protection from the sun with clothing remains necessary,” says Röscher. He points out that rash vests are a good swimwear choice as they have “excellent safety profiles” when it comes to swimming and playing in water.

Also recommended by Smart is swimwear with a high Ultraviolet Protection Factor (UPF), the protection offered by clothing against ultraviolet rays. Clothes that are darker and more tightly woven offer a higher UPF. Clothes that are wet or tightly stretched over the body, offer a lower UPF. Swimming in an ordinary white T-shirt, for example, provides very little protection.

Children should be wearing swimsuits that cover the top and the bottom, and that have a UPF of at least 50. When not swimming children should also be wearing hats with broad brims; peaks may cover the face but leave the neck and ears exposed.

tips for sun safety • K eep children hydrated by getting them to drink lots of water.

• Keep sunblock and a hat in children’s school bags, for when they play outside at school.

• K eep out of the sun between 10am and 3pm, when the sun is at its hottest.

• Sunblock should not be used on babies younger than six months old, who should be kept out of direct sun altogether.

• Keep in the shade as much as possible. If you’re at the beach or on the lawn next to a pool, sit in the shade of a sun umbrella or beach cabana.

• Track moles and freckles by photographing them regularly. If they change shape, size or colour have them checked by a doctor.

December 2010 / January 2011

9

upfront with paul

t

here is one word that figures in many conversations and observations about our children that, I feel, is completely overused when describing their development or behaviour, and that word is “normal”.

“Normal” literally trips off the tongues of parents, educators, specialists, nurses and sundry child experts. As in: “normal” development, “normal” eating habits, “normal” growth, “normal” behaviour. But what is normal? Normal usually pertains to an average. So, does that mean above normal is above average and below normal, below average? Who wants to be average?

I never wanted to be normal and I’ve always thought that was a good thing. While the defined opposite of normal is “abnormal”, which sounds negative and derogatory, you can also define the opposite as “special”, which is very positive. And who doesn’t want to feel special?

It begins with the percentile chart you are given as a parent when your baby

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December 2010 / January 2011

overused when talking about our offspring.

first goes to the clinic to be weighed. Woe betide any baby that veers to the left or right of that curve. An errant deviation either way and the nurse sucks air rapidly through her teeth before making her expert assessment: this is not normal. “Baby’s not getting enough milk. Maybe the dairy has dried up”, she squeaks, or, if baby has chubby chops: “Baby’s getting far too much milk.”

Every school has its own “norm” and one school’s A-plus is another school’s C-minus. “Normal” at highly academic schools is way above real normal, so be careful what you wish for. A child struggling at one school could feasibly be a complete hero at another.

When I was at school we even had a phrase: “act normal” that we would hurriedly whisper to each other when a teacher entered a room, parents arrived, or a policeman walked by, and, in severe circumstances, when a group of skinheads

in bovver boots rounded the corner. We’d shout “act normal” to each other, which, in effect, was the signal to stop being our usual lunatic selves, and start behaving in the measured way that was expected of us, that is “normal”.

There is a stage in everybody’s lives when the clamour to rebel against being normal is intense, and outward signs smack of abnormality, but these are passing phases dismissed unceremoniously as an ego thing, attention seeking or wanting to cut away from the herd. It’s at about age 15 or 16 years and onwards when this really kicks in – the age of individualism – and your darling, wouldn’t-say-boo daughter dyes her hair blue, starts dressing like a Goth, gets a huge ring through her nose and comes home with a hideous vampire tattoo across her buttocks. Parents cringe and secretly ask: “Where did we go wrong?”, before drowning themselves in G&T, when a better response would be: “Wow darling,

Paul, Sabina and Saskia

you look fabulous. Great tattoo. Shall we get Daddy one for his birthday?”

Just relax and stop beating yourself up over it. This is just normal.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: JILL BADER

act normal

PAUL KERTON on a word he feels is entirely

health

stop the car!

a

CHAREEN BOAKE finds out about motion sickness.

family holiday is a very exciting event, but getting to your destination can be frustrating, especially if a passenger suffers from motion sickness.

It’s not certain why some people suffer from motion sickness (also called travel sickness) while others don’t, but many experts believe it happens when the brain is confused by conflicting messages that it’s receiving from the body’s motion sensors.

The brain accumulates information from the eyes, skin, inner ear and muscles and if this information doesn’t agree, it results in motion sickness. If you are reading in a moving car, for example, your eyes are focused on a set position and the brain assumes you’re sitting still. However, the delicate sensors in your inner ear will be picking up changes in balance as you move to and fro with the movement of the car. This discrepancy affects the body’s equilibrium causing the common symptoms of motion sickness: cold sweats, fatigue, dizziness, headaches and nausea. Certain computer and virtual simulation games can also cause motion sickness.

According to Johannesburg-based GP Dr Theo Louridas, although motion

sickness is unpleasant, it has no lasting effects. He warns that if these symptoms occur frequently and without travel, it could be indicative of more serious problems related to the cerebellum or possibly even a tumour and you should consult your doctor.

Motion sickness rarely affects infants; it is more common in toddlers and children.

Although some children do outgrow it by age 12, it often continues into adulthood.

Children are more likely to suffer from motion sickness if they’re susceptible to nausea or vomiting, or experience heightened levels of anxiety. Other triggers may include: the vehicle being poorly ventilated or too hot, or the child having their head turned to look out of the side window. Discovering whether your child suffers from motion sickness is a trial and error exercise, but there are measures that you can take to try and reduce the risk of motion sickness.

Natural remedies such as ginger help relieve nausea while certain earplugs and wristbands are said to relieve motion sickness. There are also several overthe-counter medications to treat motion sickness and nausea.

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

be prepared • C ar: strap your child in the middle seat (if it has an over-the-shoulder belt), encouraging them to look straight ahead rather than out of the side window.

• Plane: ask for a window seat towards the front.

• Eat frequent light, bland snacks like rice cakes or banana and avoid sugary snacks, fatty foods or dairy.

• Try to travel during children’s nap times or overnight if you’re driving.

• Cover the window beside the child to keep the sun off their bodies and reduce stress on the eyes.

• Distract children with singing or games like “I spy”. Limit reading, colouring-in and hand-held computer games.

• Plan your trip along the straightest road, preferably a freeway with fewer bumps, and stop regularly.

• Place a cool cloth on the forehead and rest the head against the seat to keep it as still as possible.

• Make sure the car is cool. Small battery-powered fans and spray bottles are useful if you don’t have air conditioning.

• Take a potty, towels or nappies to catch vomit and plastic packets to seal the soiled items; bad odours can lead to further nausea.

• Travel with spare clothes, a face cloth, wet wipes and fabric spray.

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December 2010 / January 2011

11

straight up

so not funny LEONORA FOUND canvassed a number of nearly teens for the things parents do that embarrass them. Here’s what they said…

the e, with just five minutes until I cringe when at the school gat hugs and kisses. bell, my mom corners me for

I don’t like it when, in public, my mom refers to my friends by their nicknames.

g for school outings! And she doesn’t She sings, like really sings, when liftin even know the words. e for most embarrassing situation (Note to all parents: the Golden Glob Madonna not a parent?) went to parents singing in public. Is

It only sounds right when we say them.

random person and waves, pretending to know them. It used to

Even

be funny, but not anymore. It’s so embarrassing, I duck.

when she calls me

drops me at school wearing her

Pops or Wiggles

pjs. I don’t think anyone can see

like she did when I

that she is wearing them, but I still

was five.

find it extremely embarrassing.

My parents are okay… (pause) … ish. It’s kind of embarrassing when we are out and they loudly say hello to anyone they see from my school, when I am trying to make sure anyone I do see, doesn’t see me – especially with my folks.

My dad thinks it’s cool when he calls my friends by their surnames as if he is one of the guys. It’s so totally not cool.

It’s lame when they greet my friends loudly and affectionately and try and be cool. Oh my gosh, my mom is the same. She says ‘hey girlies’ when she sees us together. I want to run and hide.

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December 2010 / January 2011

worse,

is

My heart races when my mom

The other day my mom offered one of the Grade 5 boys a lift to hockey and then chatted to him all the way as if he was one of my BFFs [Best Friend Forever]. Can you imagine if any of my friends had see n me? How embarrassing!

Big time cringe factor is when my folks hold hands or kiss when we’re out. (It is sort of sweet and makes me happy when they do, but nobody else should be allowed to see.)

The worst is when my mom fetches me from school and hoots and waves from the car to get my attention. It’s not like I don’t know what she looks like – or that I won’t recognise the car.

I get embarrassed when they tell personal stories about me.

When they start, I don’t know exactly what they are going to say and am nervous they are going to say something I don’t want them to say.

(Fair enough!)

magazine durban

ILLUSTRATION: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

Sometimes, my dad drives down the road and hoots at a

straight up

tooth-side seats ELAINE EKSTEEN hopes to find a way to reduce the caterwauling at tooth-brushing time.

f anybody has an answer to making the brushing of teeth a fun and favoured activity, I’d pay money for the secret.

My son started brushing his teeth before he really had any. I use the word brushing very loosely; I should rather say sucking the bubble gum-flavoured toothpaste off his tiny toothbrush, and then handing it back for another blob of the pink goo.

much prefers chewing his toothbrush to poking out my tonsils with mine.

Stories of the need for general anaesthetic to sort out dentistry issues in the milk teeth of six-year-olds and the associated medical bills are quite a motivator. But, practically, how does one banish the caterwauling, get the toothbrush between those tightly clamped lips, and give those not-so-pearly whites a decent clean?

teeth preservation tactics • Start brushing your baby’s teeth at least once a day as soon as they get their first tooth; clean a toddler’s teeth twice a day.

• Try to make the brushing of teeth (a fun) part of the daily routine from as early on as possible.

• Use an age-appropriate toothbrush: a baby’s

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

He much prefers chewing his toothbrush to poking out my tonsils with mine.

Perhaps that’s the problem – he’s eating the toothpaste not cleaning his teeth. Who can blame him, I guess, since it’s the closest he gets to anything tasting like sweets.

We’ve tried all sorts of tactics to take the battle out of the exercise but we haven’t won yet. Granted some strategies have worked for a while: like a toothbrushing rhyme (from DJ Opperman’s Groot Verseboek); or letting him brush my teeth while I whizz the brush across his – a tactic that had a record three-week popularity run.

But for the last months he has had a few more teeth than can be suitably polished in three seconds, and he

magazine durban

My husband came up with a brilliant solution yesterday morning: a tooth-brushing demo. The strategy works as long as you’ve got visitors and a child keen to impress them. “Look what a clever boy he is – opening his mouth nice and wide so that Daddy can get to all his teeth and brush off the little men [aka plaque] trying to chop holes in them,” crooned Dad, sounding very impressed.

The resulting performance was fantastic – long may it last…

Anyone keen for an early morning coffee at our place?

With your cuppa you get a free ticket to the tooth-brushing demo at 8:30am.

first toothbrush should have a small head and soft bristles.

• Use only a tiny blob of low-fluoride toothpaste until adult teeth appear, and teach your child to spit out the toothpaste.

• Don’t rush to introduce your baby to fruit juice.

If you are giving your older baby or toddler fruit juice, rather dilute it.

• Avoid fizzy, sugary or acidic drinks.

• Give syrupy medication using a medicine syringe instead of a spoon – this way you limit the contact between the sugary syrup and your

baby’s teeth.

December 2010 / January 2011

13

parenting

tantrum taming

a

dmit it. Before you were a parent, you’d see someone else’s toddler having a tantrum and swear your child would never get away with behaviour like that! Fast forward a couple of years and it’s you in the cereal aisle, cringing with embarrassment as your own child thrashes around like a Great White in a feeding frenzy, complete with screaming and flailing of limbs, because you said no to the frosted cornflakes. And you wonder just how you got into this predicament – while other future parents stare on in horror making their own silent vows.

I’ll admit it: that was me. I knew exactly how to handle a tantrum until the day I actually had to deal with one. My

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December 2010 / January 2011

reaction was rather cowardly: I picked up my toddler and bolted out of the store before I could hear the first tsk-tsk.

I don’t think I shopped there for the next six months.

perfectly normal While tantrums, especially public ones, can cause embarrassment for parents, experts agree that they are a normal part of childhood development and, while the behaviour associated with tantrums is negative, children who throw tantrums should not be labelled as “bad” or “naughty”.

Durban-based counselling psychologist Deborah Hulme explains, “Tantrums are largely a result of children testing the limits parents set for them. As children mature, starting

around the age of two, they begin to develop a sense of self that is distinct from, or separate to, that of their parents.

The toddler, equipped with increasingly well-developed skills begins to explore his world and assert his will. This frequently clashes with the parent’s will and so the stage is set for conflict, which often escalates into tantrum behaviour.”

Tantrums appear to be more common in the early years when toddlers have trouble communicating their feelings and frustrations. When coupled with their emerging sense of self, this may be all that is needed to produce a mini meltdown. A simple exercise for a toddler, like putting on her socks or brushing her hair, can end up in a full-blown tantrum when she becomes overwhelmed by the task at

magazine durban

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TRACY ELLIS gives tips for managing the strops and toy-out-of-cot episodes of our children.

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

It’s you in the cereal aisle, cringing with embarrassment as your own child thrashes around like a Great White in a feeding frenzy. hand and doesn’t know how to express her frustration or ask for help. A parent attempting to intervene or trying to hurry her easily aggravates the situation, and before you know it, you are caught in an emotional storm.

easier going Experts agree that tantrums should diminish between the ages of five and seven, when children have learnt

magazine durban

better communication and coping skills, understand their boundaries and have a grasp of what behaviour is acceptable and appropriate for their age. Johannesburgbased educational psychologist Simona Maraschin believes that healthy peer pressure at this age can assist in discouraging tantrums. “At this age children start to use their peers as a ‘social campus’. They generally become more competitive and are using their peers as benchmarks

for their own abilities, social interactions and relationships.

Very often children are not tolerant of their peers who throw tantrums and, as a result, children who are very demanding or who do throw tantrums often struggle to make or maintain friends.”

A few years ago Vicks First Defence Nasal Spray produced a clever TV ad that appealed to every parent who has been caught off guard by a tantrum. It features a mother in a grocery store pre-empting her son’s tantrum by throwing herself on the floor and having a mommy tantrum of her own. Her son is shocked back to his senses and the advert wraps up with “attack is the best form of defence”.

They say desperate times call for desperate measures.

Laughs aside, pre-emption is a great strategy for tackling tantrums. Some experts suggest keeping a tantrum diary if your child is prone to frequent tantrums.

Making notes of the details such as when and where the tantrums occur, with whom they occur and what happens directly before and after each episode can give you clues as to why they are happening and can help you find the best way to prevent or deal with the next one.

learning to exhale Tantrums range from incessant whining, crying and shouting to kicking, screaming, stamping feet, thrashing and

December 2010 / January 2011

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parenting

If the tantrum always happens when he is fighting with his shoelaces, maybe you should invest in shoes with Velcro straps?

even breath holding. A full-blown tantrum can be an incredibly scary experience.

Stephanie Smith, a mother of two, remembers when her 18-month-old daughter, Lily, held her breath during a tantrum. “She was sucking in huge breaths and screaming on the exhale. I think she forgot to breathe because the next thing her mouth was wide open but there was no sound coming out and she started to turn purple. Her face was frozen in mid scream, all wrinkled up, but there was no air going in or out. I was shouting ‘Lily breathe’ but she didn’t take a breath. I blew a quick sharp breath in her face and it seemed to shock her back to reality and she sucked some air. She kept crying but I think by that stage she had exhausted herself, so she calmed down to a sniffling sob. The whole episode only lasted a minute but I was really frightened.

Afterwards I did some research and found out that it’s quite common for toddlers to hold their breath during a tantrum and that they can’t really harm themselves by doing it unless they pass out and fall onto something.”

While many tantrums can be avoided (see our section on steps for avoiding tantrums), knowing how to handle a fullblown tantrum in the moment can alleviate some of the embarrassment you may naturally feel and help you regain control of the situation.

Maraschin says staying calm and ignoring the negative behaviour during the tantrum is key. She feels it’s important not to get angry, shout or attempt to discipline a child during a tantrum. She instead recommends stressing in a calm, firm voice that once they calm down, you are prepared to listen and talk to them to

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determine what is frustrating them. Allow the tantrum to run its course and never give in to their demands. Hulme agrees, “Giving in to a child who is throwing a tantrum will reinforce the negative behaviour and send the message to the child that he might have to keep up with his tantrum behaviour for a long time but, eventually, he will get what he wants.” She urges parents not to bargain or reason with a child during a tantrum.

Experts agree that for toddlers, there is usually no need for discipline following a tantrum. Refusing to give in to the child’s demands is often consequence enough and toddlers generally respond well when positive behaviour is rewarded and negative behaviour is ignored. Hulme suggests: “If standing your ground is not working, the next step would be a logical consequence connected to the behaviour.

You might say: ‘No, you may not come to the shops with Mom today as you behaved badly when we went shopping yesterday.’

Thereafter an opportunity for positive behaviour can be offered on the next shopping trip when the child is allowed to accompany her again. The overriding message to the child needs to be: ‘When you act out and behave badly, I do not want to be in your company. When you behave in a positive manner, I enjoy your company and will give you attention, listen to you and attend to your needs, but I will not give in to the issue you are having a tantrum about’.”

steps for avoiding tantrums • set firm, consistent boundaries Maraschin says, “Boundaries must be placed with a loving intent, not a punitive intent, and should never be set in anger as you will inevitably end up removing the boundary later, which defeats the purpose.” Hulme adds, “Tantrums will diminish as the child begins to recognise that the parent consistently adheres to the limits that they have set. It is therefore possible that if parents are inconsistent with their limit setting they will find themselves with a child who is continually trying to test these limits and is therefore more prone to tantrums.”

• identify triggers Keeping a tantrum diary will help to identify triggers such as exhaustion, hunger or hyperactivity. If the tantrum always happens when he is fighting with his shoelaces, maybe you should invest in shoes with Velcro straps?

• offer some choices and remove others Choices empower toddlers and help them to feel in control. But be savvy.

Asking “Do you want to wear shoes today?” magazine durban

will set you up for a battle of wills. Rather say: “Time to put your shoes on, please.

Are you going to wear your sandals or your slops?”

• pick your battles Your three-year-old daughter wants to wear her big brother’s underpants to school. Worth fighting about? Chances are she’ll wear them for two weeks straight and then move on to the next thing.

• avoid temptation Don’t wander down the sweets and chips aisle in the supermarket if you know it is bound to end up with your toddler in tears. Keep off-limit objects, such as the TV remote, out of reach.

• stick to routines Hulme says, “Clear routines and predictable environments can assist in curbing tantrums. Tired children are unreasonable children, so don’t take your young child shopping at 4pm because the chances of a tantrum are a great deal higher in this context.”

• encourage words over actions Encouraging verbal communication in everyday situations will teach your toddler to express herself when she is frustrated and offers an alternative to throwing a fit.

“Teaching your children to negotiate their needs will serve them well, especially in their teenage years,” says Maraschin.

• practise distraction Toddlers are easily distracted. If you need to take your cellphone away from your toddler, replace it with a book or toy. “If your child is starting to get agitated, distract him before the tantrum begins,” says Hulme.

• give fair warning Letting them know they have five minutes left to play before they need to pack away, prepares them for the announcement and lessens potential conflict.

• seek help If the frequency of tantrums becomes unmanageable even after boundaries have been put in place, or if the intensity of tantrums is more than you can cope with, seek advice from a medical professional.

magazine durban

teenager in a strop “While tantrums are associated predominantly with younger children there may be a resurgence during adolescence when boundaries and limits are renegotiated,” says Durban-based counselling psychologist Deborah Hulme. A teenage tantrum may include pouting, sulking, whining, ignoring parents, slamming doors, shouting, saying hurtful things such as “I hate you”, using bad language and emotional manipulation by refusing to eat or threatening to run away.

Dealing with tantrums in teenagers, says Johannesburg-based educational psychologist Simona Maraschin, should be handled in a similar way to toddlers. Do not react to the tantrum, stay calm and let them know you are prepared to communicate and negotiate in an adult manner once they stop acting out. Be consistent with boundaries but savvy to emotional manipulation.

Unlike toddlers, tantrums in teenagers call for discipline and consequence. Experts suggest that privilege removal in addition to not giving in to the tantrum should suffice in curbing teenage tantrums, however, they stress that open communication is vital in this phase. Hulme says, “Adolescents have a strong need to be heard and parents should be careful not to be too dictatorial or dogmatic during this stage. They have to learn to adjust their parenting style as the child enters their teenage years. It is guaranteed that parents are going to have to discuss, consider and entertain requests that they would like to dismiss instinctively. The teenage mind is a great deal more advanced cognitively than that of the toddler’s, but teenagers are often quite unable to apply the logical reasoning they use for calculating mathematical problems to the emotional realm.”

December 2010 / January 2011

17

spotlight

pet prep Before you rush out and buy a furry friend for the family, here are some things to think about.

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suggestion that dogs with the lowest incidence of behaviour problems are those kept in flats or apartments.”

Can you handle high maintenance?

Regular grooming is important to prevent excess shedding. Brushing your dog’s coat can take place daily (long-haired Cocker Spaniels), weekly (medium-haired

them to spread and flap their wings.

Also, because parrots are intelligent, social creatures it’s recommended that you get two birds so they don’t get lonely. Surprisingly, Wood says that a Great Dane can do perfectly well in an apartment as long as he is given sufficient daily exercise and stimulation.

Not only will Jack Russell terriers gladly run circles around the house with your energetic son, but they will also dig – with or without him.

Golden Retrievers) or monthly (short-haired Beagles). If you prefer an outdoor animal, do you have secure fencing and have you drafted a pick-up-the-doody roster?

Even if you’ve survived nappies, it’s worth remembering that the bigger the dog, the bigger the poop – so it’s best if you’re not the easily offended type.

Can you live with the odd landscaping issue? Not only will Jack Russell terriers gladly run circles around the house with your energetic son, but they will also dig – with or without him. Rabbits may not be an option either, since they like to burrow.

Do you live in a flat with no outside area? A pet fish may be best as it is confined to its space or, if you love birds, perhaps parrots are an option, but then you need to have a big enough area for

How much time do you have to spend with a pet? Wood cuts to the chase: “People who are very busy and will not have the time to care for their kitten or take their puppy to socialisation classes, obedience training and for daily walks (rain or shine), provide ongoing veterinary care, environmental enrichment such as chews and daily play as well as direct attention (not just when they’re cute puppies), should rather consider getting a grown cat or a goldfish.”

Another important question is: are you active or sedentary? And, on this don’t be fooled by size – an oversized Newfoundland prefers lounging around and leisurely walks, whereas a small Jack Russell Terrier is rambunctious and best suited to farm life, according to Wood.

Do you have small children? They are entranced by animals from a very young age, and this could prompt you to want a pet that will grow up with them. But toddlers may get too rough with fragile puppies and kittens and, by the same token, adult animals may be too rough with them. If your child is younger than four years, perhaps consider a lowmaintenance mini-pet protected by a cage, such as a guinea pig or hamster or a small bird like a budgie.

be in the know When it comes to South Africans and pets, dogs are by far the most popular choice, with this country in the top 10 of pet-dog populations in the world, according to the book, Top 10 of Everything 2011 (Hamlyn).

One of the most important things for families to consider when choosing a dog, however, is whether the breed has the right temperament for children. Many pet experts say there is no hard and fast rule about a dog breed’s child friendliness.

However, all dogs are divided into one of seven types of breeds and knowing your dog’s type will give you a clue as to its child friendliness. On this Wood says, “A great deal of a dog’s behaviour and temperament has to do with the original job dogs were bred to perform and the tendencies that these produce.” For example, “toy dogs” (such as Chihuahuas) are bred as very loyal companions to only

magazine durban

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o

ne of my most treasured pet memories was when boisterous Buster was still a pup. He was a soft ball of black and white fluff that loved to be loved – perfect for a home that enjoys family hugs. Mind you, having a bit of terrier in him, the best times for cuddling were only when he was completely exhausted.

If, on these occasions, you happened to be lying on the couch, he’d climb up and curl himself around the back of your neck, his head cosily tucked next to your face – bliss! Pets have a way of worming their way into our affections, and it’s these warm, fuzzy memories that often have parents of toddlers dashing off to the pet shop to find them a furry friend.

But before nostalgia grips you and you’re already in the store just about to scoop up the animal friend that tugs hardest at your, or your children’s, heart strings, you’ll need to ask yourself a few questions about your home and your family’s lifestyle.

How much space do you have inside and outside the home? If you go for an indoor pet, will you be able to live with possible pet hair, a litter box, a chewed shoe or torn upholstery? Think hard about this one – if you have cat inclinations you probably need to budget for an indoor cat (they generally live longer and are healthier). On indoor dogs, Cape Town-based pet behaviourist Mike Wood points out, “Interestingly, there is a strong

By LUCILLE KEMP

one person, so out of possessiveness might snap at your toddler if she gets too close to him or the dog’s chosen family member.

There are various websites that offer great advice on the most child-friendly breeds, such as justdogbreeds.com and petsplace. co.za. For more information on the seven types of dog breeds visit helpguide.org.

Knowing the specific function for which your favoured dog was originally bred will also give you a good indication of how active they are, perhaps how noisy they are and what their favourite “hobbies” are.

If she’s a beagle, she falls into the hound category, so she likes to track (sniffing out mice, cats, other dogs, you). That means many games of hide-and-seek ahead for your child. Your spaniel is a sporting dog that loves to dash around all day, so best you too love a morning run or you’ll have a hyperactive dog on your hands.

Knowing the facts is important because a pet is a long-term commitment. Some birds such as parrots can live up to 50 years or more, a dog lives 10 to 16 years, cats can live up to 15 years or more

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

He’d climb up and curl himself around the back of your neck, his head cosily tucked next to your face – bliss!

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and rabbits can live seven to 10 years.

Impulsively buying a pet as a Christmas gift is a bad idea – they’re in it for the long haul; so should you be.

where to go If you’re looking for a purebred or a “designer” mixed breed such as a Labradoodle your best bet is to go through a registered breeder. “A reputable breeder is registered with the Kennel Union of Southern Africa,” says Margie Ainscow, animal centre manager at the Cape of Good Hope SPCA. According to Ainscow, you should ensure that you meet the parents of the puppy, see their pedigree papers and the breeding facilities.

You can also adopt an animal from one of the welfare organisations. The SPCA, for one, looks to re-home not only neglected dogs but also well-behaved dogs that have been given to them because of immigration or divorce. “If you have a hectic life, adopt an adult animal,” says Ainscow. “Dogs live an average of 16 years so if you take a dog of about two they still have many happy years ahead of them.”

One of the downsides of an adult animal, however, is that she may take a while to bond with the family and other pets. If you aren’t able to screen her properly before adoption, you might discover she has undesirable behaviour traits or there may be an existing health condition. On the upside, as the dog has outgrown the puppy years he will not be so needy and will have learnt to be fine with being left alone. Also, most adult dogs will have already been neutered and house trained, and will probably be used to being around other animals and people.

For most young, growing families the plea for a pet is only a matter of time. When the call does come it’s difficult to resist because the love and companionship that a pet provides lifts everyone’s mood. Also, walking and playing with your pet means that you get exercise; having an animal will build up your child’s immune system, helping to prevent allergies, and owning a pet will teach your child the all-important life skills of care and responsibility (see “mucking in” for suggestions).

mucking in A family pet doesn’t have to be solely the parents’ responsibility. Your children can benefit from age-appropriate involvement. Here are some suggestions for helping them get involved with the family dog – and learn some valuable life skills in the process. age four • Pet the dog every day.

• Brush the dog for a few minutes with your help.

• Give the dog a treat by dropping it on the floor for him to pick up. age five • Help walk the dog by holding onto the same leash you are holding – some leashes have an extra loop.

• Give a treat with your help. Put the treat in the child’s open palm and let the dog take it gently. age six • Brush the dog with you nearby.

• Practise simple tricks with the dog like “shake hands”.

• Play ball with the dog and you.

• T each your child the commands that the dog knows like “sit” and “stay”, and get her to practise them with the dog. age nine • Play games like “fetch” and hideand-seek.

• Feed the dog every day.

• Help you bath the dog.

age 10 • Wash up the dog’s dishes.

• Put out fresh water for the dog. age 11 • Practise tricks with the dog.

• Teach the dog new tricks. age 12 • Take responsibility for brushing the dog.

• Give the dog a weekly checkup.

• Let your child attend and assist you at dog obedience classes. age 13 • Attend dog obedience classes, while you observe.

• Sweep up the dog hair.

• B rush your dog’s teeth with assistance, if needed.

age seven and eight

age 14

• T ake a small dog for a walk in the yard. If you have a big dog, let your child walk the dog with your help.

• Play ball with the dog or your child can throw a toy for him to retrieve.

• S chedule vet appointments when asked to do so. age 15 • Pick up dog poop.

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parenting

t i for X M

dummies

MARC DE CHAZAL guides parents through the online world of instant text messaging.

our teenager’s well-used cellphone is likely her preferred means of communication with friends. And the messages she types at lightning speed using a confounding abbreviated language are probably being exchanged on MXit. Like it or not, in this digital age our children will go online and they will use social media like MXit to communicate. As parents we need to understand this world because our children need help navigating it as much as they do the offline version.

But what is MXit all about, and how can we help our children use it wisely and safely?

what is MXit? MXit is an instant messaging (IM) application with over 20-million users. It was developed by a small gaming company in Stellenbosch, which experimented with a prototype in 2004 and launched MXit in 2005, letting the word spread organically.

Today you’ll be hard-pressed to find a young person with a cellphone who doesn’t use it.

MXit stands for “Message Xchange it” and is pronounced “mix it”. The application runs on cellphones allowing users to communicate cheaply in real time. This

is how it works: you connect to the MXit website and download the application free of charge onto your cellphone. With the free registration you give your date of birth and choose a username. Then you invite your friends on MXit to add you as a contact and off you go. Users need to be 13 years or older.

Its popularity lies in its interactive environment and the low costs. When chatting one on one, the service provider bills at normal GPRS/3G rates, which works out at less than one South African cent per message. By comparison, an MTN Pay As You Go cellular package will cost you about 50 cents per SMS any time of day.

MXit also has its own currency, moola, which users have to purchase in order to visit chat rooms. One moola equals one South African cent. With 200 moola (two rands) a user can send 100 messages in a chat room.

Chat rooms are designated public areas on a website where people with similar interests can chat in real time in an anonymous environment. MXit has various teen chat zones – not accessible to someone over the age of 18 unless they have fabricated their age when they

cheat sheet

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• G et involved in your child’s social media experience early on.

• Every time users enter a chat zone they are reminded to keep all personal details private.

• Remind children to not include any information on MXit that could identify them, such as an email address, phone number, home or school address or pictures of themselves.

• MXit users can leave chat rooms at any time or simply type in the .ignore command to hide the comments of someone who is behaving inappropriately.

• Image files can only be sent one-to-one between known contacts – pictures cannot be sent in chat rooms.

• All chat zones contain profanity filters that replace swear words with the # symbol.

magazine durban

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registered (and birth dates can only be changed once). MXit users are able to create their own private chat room – and a user can create a topic for the room as well as set a password for entrance. Only those in possession of the password can enter the room.

Although MXit’s chat rooms are subjected to random monitoring and have clear guidelines about what not to do in them, every once in a while someone breaks the cardinal online rule – protect your identity.

Internet with your personal information is dangerous,” he adds.

In August 2010 a 15-year-old girl in Gauteng proved just how dangerous this can be. She allegedly met her rapist in a MXit chat room and then accepted his invitation to add him to her contact list.

Though she did not know the person, she agreed to meet him offline and attend a party. He secretly picked her up down the street from her house, but there was no party; only a traumatic rape ordeal, a horrific experience no-one should have to endure.

I don’t find it scary or bad... the only problem is that people may say things on MXit that they are too scared to say to your face. stranger danger MXit facilitates affordable communication, but like every other communication medium it can be used productively or abused. Jeremy Forsyth, marketing manager of Dial a Nerd, says the major downside is that potentially anyone can be speaking to your child in a MXit chat room.

“If your child shares his or her cell number or other personal details in a chat room, it can open the door to inappropriate content being sent via SMS or MMS. Trusting random people on the magazine durban

Teenagers (and other users) who disregard MXit’s chat room guidelines and give their personal details to strangers are opening themselves up to those who have dodgy agendas. However, Gavin Marshall, MXit Lifestyle Innovator, believes that if MXit’s guidelines are adhered to the risks are minimised. “The stranger danger principle applies online as much as everywhere else,” he says. “Parents and educators need to figure out how MXit works and take a keen interest in how their children are using it.”

Marshall points out that parents are able to block a child’s access to chat rooms in December 2010 / January 2011

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the info settings of the application as a further precaution if they’d prefer.

Marshall encourages parents with children on MXit to download the application onto their own cellphones and to add their children as contacts. This will enable parents to see how much time their children spend on MXit. “You may just find it a fun way to communicate with your child or play a game of chess with her,” he adds. MXit has a number of entertaining games on its platform, including Tixi (a word game, which can help children with their spelling) and Moonbase (a multiplayer strategy game).

There are also commendable community initiatives using the MXit platform. In May 2009 Childline launched an online counselling service on MXit, enabling users to chat to a trained counsellor in one of the Childline chat rooms.

Abuse and psychological health, particularly suicidal feelings, have been the leading topics of conversation, according to a Childline report. The service is also hugely beneficial for hearing impaired children.

moderating MXit Aderyn Exley, a counselling psychologist in Johannesburg, advises parents to accept that social media is the way of the future, but not to abandon their children to navigate this often frightening world on their own.

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“Studies have shown that the decision-making cortex in the brain, which gives us the ability to thoroughly weigh up pros and cons in life situations, only fully develops between the ages of 18 and 24,” she points out. “Our children often miss ‘the obvious’ and need an alert, compassionate adult to assist in the navigation of the situation, even into their late teens and early twenties.”

Incidentally, the largest segment of MXit users is between the ages of 18 and 25.

“I suggest parents approach cellphone use as a bargaining tool based on trust. When a child proves trustworthy, a parent may slowly withdraw. But check in daily so you can stay on top of any weird stuff,” says Exley. “If inappropriate things do happen, such as spreading a nasty rumour, a parent’s job is to provide appropriate role modelling so your child can learn positive social skills. We are finding that young people today tend to have a low emotional intelligence. They often find it difficult to express their emotions and lack conflict resolution skills.” Exley agrees that the terse nature of online communication plays a big part.

The Internet and the evolving technologies built around it are here to stay. If we take an active interest in the MXit generation and keep traditional communication channels open, we’ll have a better chance of ensuring a safe online experience for our children.

why they like it “I like using MXit because it’s convenient and quick to talk to friends – and it’s cheap. I use it to chat to friends I know personally. I don’t find it scary or bad... the only problem is that people may say things on MXit that they are too scared to say to your face.” – Paige (15) “I like using MXit because I can talk to my friends wherever they are. I use MXit for chatting to my friends or playing games like Moonbase.

The only two things I find bad about MXit are that some people get addicted to it and some people give out too much information about themselves.”

– Jonathan (14) “I like it because I can talk to my friends and it is easy to use. It is also cheaper to message friends on MXit than to SMS. The thing that is bad about it for me is that you can also go onto chat zones and talk to random people you don’t know.” – Gary (13)

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December 2010 / January 2011

23

book extract

what’s for lunch?

Need help in the kitchen? Let your little ones whip up a meal for the family. I Can Cook’s KATY ASHWORTH shares lunch ideas to get you (and the children) inspired. Bon appetit!

frittata

- serves 2 Serve the frittata with cherry tomatoes for a healthy lunch.

ingredients • sunflower or vegetable oil for greasing • 100g cooked potatoes • 1 spring onion • 2 asparagus spears • 2 heaped tablespoons frozen peas • 5 fresh mint leaves, torn into small pieces • 2 level tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese • 2 eggs • pinch of pepper

1B rush

the inside of the ovenproof dish with the oil and put it on the baking tray.

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December 2010 / January 2011

3 T op

3

4

and tail (this means snip off both ends) of the spring onion and cut it into small pieces using clean scissors. Chop up the asparagus with the scissors. Add the spring onion, asparagus, peas, mint leaves and grated Parmesan to the bowl, and stir it all together.

B reak the two eggs, one at a time, into the cup and beat lightly with a fork. Pour

5

the beaten eggs into the mixing bowl and add a pinch of pepper. Stir until all of the ingredients are mixed together.

Pour the mixture into the dish.

Y ou’ll need to ask an adult for help with this part. Place in a preheated oven at 200°C (or 180°C fan) for 15–20 minutes, or until completely set. Once the frittata has cooled down slightly, you can eat it.

4 2 P ut

the potatoes in a greaseproof bag and use a rolling pin to bash them until they are crushed into small pieces. (If you don’t have a greaseproof bag, you can do this in a large bowl, using the end of a rolling pin to crush the potatoes.) Empty the crushed potatoes into the bowl.

magazine durban

magic mini fish cakes - serves 2

7 You’ll need to ask an adult for help

These are nice to eat with some steamed French beans. ingredients

3

• 2 stalks fresh curly parsley • 105g tin pink or red salmon (boneless) • 1 spring onion • 1 slice day-old bread • 1 rounded tablespoon tomato sauce • olive oil, for brushing • pinch of pepper

with this part. Place in a preheated oven at 220°C (or 200°C fan) for 10–15 minutes. Once your magic mini fish cakes have cooled down a little, you can eat them.

Remember, when using scissors, “everyone knows, it’s best to point them at your toes”.

Line 1

the baking tray with some baking paper.

2 Put the parsley in the bowl and chop up with clean scissors.

3 Add the salmon to the parsley and mix it together with the fork.

4 Top and tail the spring onion and cut it into small pieces using clean scissors, then add it to the salmon.

5 Tear up the bread and carefully grate it into breadcrumbs. Add a tablespoon of the breadcrumbs to the salmon mixture, then a tablespoon of tomato sauce and a pinch of pepper. Divide the mixture into two parts and roll them into balls.

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Roll 6

the balls in the remaining breadcrumbs until they are covered, put them on the baking tray and squash them slightly with your hands. Using the pastry brush, brush oil on top.

about the book The Cbeebies series I can cook inspires junior chefs (between the ages of three and five) to get into the kitchen and have fun cooking. I can cook, the book by Kate Morris and Sally Brown (Octopus) that accompanies the series, offers 50 recipes with the same aim as the show: getting children “understanding food,

6

trying new ingredients” and having “fabulous fun” in the kitchen. Tips from TV host Katy Ashworth and step-by-step instructions and pictures will guide children through the recipes. Available from all good booksellers nationwide.

Katy Ashworth will be at the Good Food & Wine Show in Durban from 25 to 28 November.

For more information visit gourmetsa.com

December 2010 / January 2011

25

spotlight

precious cargo We can’t afford to be blasé about our children’s safety in our cars, says MARINA ZIETSMAN.

ccidents are measured in statistics.

During and after every school holiday newsreaders share these figures with us, and we grimly compare the latest death toll to the previous years’ – is it up or down? If someone we love is not part of the statistics, the figures are soon forgotten.

the numbers But let’s break those stats down a bit, and bring them closer to the parental home: from 1 January to 31 December 2009, 13 768 people died on our roads. Of these, 12,05 percent were child passengers 14 years and younger – that’s 1 659 children! In fact, according to the World Health Organisation’s 2007 data on roadaccident fatalities worldwide, only Brazil, China, India, Iran, Mexico, Russia and the USA had more deaths on their roads than we did. Staggering if you keep in mind that at the time these countries’ populations ranged from 71 million to 1,3 billion, compared to South Africa’s 48 million.

the causes Excessive speed and driving under the influence of alcohol are the two main causes of road accidents in South Africa.

However, fatalities and serious injuries among children are mostly caused by young ones not being appropriately restrained.

There are no statistics available for child restraint use, but Petro Kruger, director of The Road Safety Foundation says that according to internal research done by the foundation in 2008, less than two percent of rear-seat occupants, including children, use a seat belt. Professor Sebastian van As, head of the Trauma Unit at Red Cross Children’s Hospital in Cape Town and president of The Child Accident Prevention Foundation of Southern Africa (CAPFSA), says approximately 200 to 300 children are admitted to the hospital each year due to injuries sustained in car accidents, “and of these, 87 percent were unrestrained.

Up to 71 percent of these children were passengers in the front seat. People don’t get it – a baby has a 70 percent better chance of surviving a motor-vehicle accident if restrained and a toddler up to 54 percent. Parents go to the supermarket

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December 2010 / January 2011

and buy bottles of wine, which they tuck in safely so that the bottles don’t break during the journey, but what about their children?” asks Van As. A scientific study published by the World Health Organisation, the FIA (Federation Internationale de l’Automobile), the Global Road Safety Partnership and the World Bank shows that harmful injury is the result of “energy interchange”. During a collision, this kinetic energy exchange makes it physically impossible for any occupant to securely hold an unrestrained object, such as a child.

If you are involved in a collision while travelling at just 50 kilometres per hour, a child’s weight will effectively increase 20 times, turning a 10-kilogram baby into a 200-kilogram weight within a split second.

Kruger says Newton’s law applies: “Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion, unless an external force is applied to it. This means that if the car is travelling at 100 kilometres an hour, then any object or person in the car is also going that fast until a net force (child restraint) or object (windshield, dashboard) acts to slow them down.”

strap them in!

The world’s leading role players on child safety are the US Department of Transportation as well as the National Safe Kids Campaign in America. Their basic safety tips are also advocated by Arrive Alive in South Africa. These include:

• Buckle up every time, no matter how short the trip.

• Children 12 and younger should be properly restrained in the back seat. While air bags can save adults’ lives, children sitting in the front seat can be seriously injured or killed when an air bag deploys in a crash. Even with advanced air bags or with air bags disabled or not fitted, the back seat is safer for children. The air bags built into your dashboard on the passenger side are designed to deploy at the chest height of an average adult, and do so at more than 200 kilometres per hour. Earlier this year, 10-year-old Emmanuel Bernardo from Namibia was permanently blinded by an air bag that kicked in during a minor accident. It exploded in his face while he was seated in the front passenger seat of a BMW. Doctors say that the boy’s eyes literally ruptured on impact and that Emmanuel will not be able to see again.

• “Researchers at the University of Buffalo studied all car collisions involving a fatality in the US between 2000 and 2003,” says Kruger. “They came to the conclusion that depending on the make of the vehicle, occupants in the back seat are 59 to 86 percent safer there than in the front seat. In fact, the rear middle seat was found to be 16 percent safer than any other seat in the vehicle.”

• Never put a rear-facing child in a car’s front seat.

keeping children safe along the way • Keep the interior of the car clear of loose objects such as sports equipment or groceries. In a collision these objects become missiles that could seriously injure occupants.

• When driving, don’t give toddlers or babies anything that could be a choking hazard such as biscuits or fruit.

• If a child is unhappy or crying, do not lean back to attend to him. Pay attention to your driving and stop at a safe place.

• A parent’s lap is not a safe place for a child. In the case of an accident, the child

• Choose the right child safety seat or safety belt for your child’s size and age.

• Infants should ride in rear-facing safety seats, until they are at least 12 months old and weigh at least nine kilograms.

• Children who are at least one year old, and weigh nine to 18 kilograms, should ride in a forward-facing child-safety seat on the back seat.

• Children over 18 kilograms should be correctly secured in a belt-positioning booster seat. A booster must be used on the back seat of the car only. These seats are not installed in the same way as child car seats; they instead sit on the vehicle seat and are used to properly position the adult seat belt for an older child.

• Once the vehicle safety belt fits a child, both the lap and shoulder belts should be used correctly. Vehicle seat belts are designed to fit an average-sized adult. Many children will be 12 years old before they meet these height and weight requirements.

• Your child can be moved from a booster seat to a seat belt in the back seat if your child passes the Safety Belt Fit Test (visit safekids.org for details of this test).

• Install and use all restraints according to the manufacturer’s instructions and your vehicle owner’s manual. Ensure your child safety seat has not been recalled.

In South Africa, only SABS-approved seats must be used. Kruger says there are no seat belt fitment experts in South Africa. “The instructions for fitting the child seats are sometimes inadequate and often confusing. Parents must make sure they understand the instructions.”

• It is not ideal to buy second-hand car or booster seats, except if you are 100 percent sure of the history. Car and booster seats that have been in accidents are not acceptable.

actually acts as an air bag for the passenger holding her.

• When travelling long distances, always ensure that you stop and rest and take the child out of the child seat for at least 10 minutes every two hours.

• Children are not cargo and should never be transported on the back of a bakkie, even with a canopy.

(Courtesy: The Road Safety Foundation)

helpful websites arrivealive.co.za childsafe.org.za roadsafetyfoundation.co.za safekids.org

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

a

While buckling up is the crux of it, there are a number of other important things to know.

resource

safe and sound TAMLYN VINCENT runs through the things that should be in your first-aid kit.

e

very home should have a first-aid kit – it’s a lot easier if all the important things are kept together rather than needing to be unearthed in a panic from various corners of the house. It’s also a good idea to make it portable, so you can take the kit along with you on weekends away.

You can buy a kit, but watch out for cheap ones as they may not include quality supplies, or you can make up your own. A small toolbox or cosmetic bag will work as a holdall. Here’s what you’ll need...

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

the basics • first-aid manual Equally key to having a first-aid kit in an accessible spot is knowing how to use everything in the kit, and what to do if it’s not just a minor scrape you’re dealing with. All parents would benefit from doing a first-aid course (visit childmag.co.za to find a first-aid course close to you).

for emergencies • bandages and bandage rolls (assorted sizes) for binding wounds, making a sling,

magazine durban

using as a compress or holding a splint in place • Burnshield, Burn-Eaz or other burn ointment or dressing • cotton wool or gauze to clean cuts or wounds, stop bleeding or apply antiseptic.

Do not use to clean burns as it may stick to the injury and make things worse.

• plasters for cuts and grazes • sterile wipes to clean wounds

equipment • instant cold packs for strains, sprains and injuries to muscles. Beware of using instant cold packs on small children as they are prone to develop hypothermia and too much exposure can damage the skin.

• latex gloves • CPR mouthpiece • medicine measures or disposable syringes for administering medication • safety pins and adhesive tape • space blanket or emergency blanket for warmth, when someone goes into shock or to prevent hypothermia.

• tweezers and a pair of scissors • thermometer

medication • antihistamine – apply cream to stings or bites, or keep tablets or syrup for allergic reactions. If somebody in the family has severe allergic reactions, ask your doctor about a prepared adrenaline injection and know how to use it.

• anti-inflammatory for aching muscles or any swelling • antiseptic cream or disinfectant for cleaning or disinfecting wounds, cuts and grazes • pain tablets or syrup for headaches, pain or fever • electrolyte solution or rehydration fluids to replenish the body after a bout of vomiting and diarrhoea.

useful tips • I nclude waterless hand sanitizer for when you cannot wash your hands.

• Sunscreen and after-sun lotion are good to include when travelling, especially in summer.

• Laminate a card listing important numbers, such as those of your GP and paediatrician, as well as hospitals and emergency numbers near your home (or the area you will be visiting while on holiday).

• Check the dosages and contraindications on the medicines to ensure you are using them correctly.

• If you do not have a splint, fold a magazine around the injured limb and apply the bandage around this to support the limb.

• Once you have used something, or if the medicine expires, replace those items.

December 2010 / January 2011

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resource

day tripping Five great outings close to your city.

By TAMLYN VINCENT

adventure seeking Head north from Durban for breakfast at The Hybrid Living Centre’s Sage Café near Ballito. You can browse through the boutique stores while the children play in the Grubby Knees garden. Then travel to Clubventure, 15 kilometres inland from Ballito, to enjoy bush quad biking (from 16 years) or glide safely through the treetops on the one-kilometre zip-line (from five years). End your day with a visit to Ndlondlo Reptile Park, where you can see anacondas and pythons. The tea garden is ideal for a light lunch and children can play in the playground – far away from the snakes.

route info Take the N2 north to exit 214 (Umhlali), turn right and follow the Hybrid Living signs. Take the N2 south for Clubventure, turn right at Ballito Compensation and follow the signboards. Follow the M4 south for Ndlondlo Reptile Park; take this scenic route home. useful contacts Hybrid Living 032 525 5115 or visit hybridcentre.co.za; Clubventure 032 942 8014 or visit clubventure.co.za; Ndlondlo Reptile Park 082 561 4969 or visit ndlondloreptilepark.com

art and crafting Start out early for breakfast at Piggly Wiggly in Lions River, about one hour from Durban, where a jungle gym will keep the children entertained. Spend the morning shopping at a variety of craft shops nearby. In the Piggly Wiggly complex is Zulu-lulu Trading; famous for its Dlamini statues. It also has a children’s art bar where they can paint a piggy. Down the road is Sterling’s Wrought Iron, home to artistic furniture and accessories, and St Ives, where you can eat gourmet food at the restaurant or order a picnic and sit at one of the lapas around the dam. The children can work off their energy on the extensive new playground before you head home.

route info Take the Howick North/Tweedie interchange off the N3. Travel along the R103; Piggly Wiggly is on your left. Other venues are along the R103. useful contacts Piggly Wiggly 033 234 4323 or visit pigglywiggly.co.za; Zulu-lulu 1614; St Ives 033 234 4490 or visit stivesestate.co.za. Visit midlandsmeander.co.za for more information on the area.

country crossing Start off your Saturday at Shongweni Farmers Market near Hillcrest. Grab breakfast and coffee from one of the stalls and browse through the fresh produce and crafts. Stock up on tasty picnic goodies and head to Shongweni Dam and Game Reserve. The reserve offers a variety of activities, from game drives to nature trails and water sports. If you enjoy rock climbing, make sure to visit The Wave Cave. Find a spot by the dam and relax with your picnic. Spend the afternoon taking in the spectacular bird life – don’t forget your binoculars – before heading home.

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route info Follow the M13 up to Shongweni. The market is on the corner of Kassier and Alverstone Roads. Drive back along Kassier Road, over the N3 and follow the signboards to Shongweni Dam. useful

contacts

Shongweni

Farmers Market 031 777 1554 or visit shongwenimarket.co.za; Shongweni Dam 031 769 1283

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: PIGGLY WIGGLY, USHAKA MARINE WORLD, ORIBI GORGE

Trading 083 627 3491 or visit zulululutrading.co.za; Sterling’s Wrought Iron 082 218

city escapes Begin the day with a stroll or rickshaw ride along Durban’s promenade. Stop at Mini Town, home to a replica of Durban with trains, planes and ships, then head to uShaka Marine World. Here you can visit the cargo ship aquarium and children can enjoy sliding and swimming at Wet ’n Wild, or climbing the giant jungle gym at Rayz Kids World. Have lunch at one of the many restaurants. Finish off at Moses Mabhida Stadium, where the adventurous can swing from the arch. Finally take a ride in the Sky Car and watch the sun set over Durban. route info Take Argyle Road to Snell Parade, which turns into OR Tambo Parade. This will take you to uShaka Marine World. Return along this route to access Masabalala Yengwa Avenue for the stadium. useful contacts uShaka Marine World 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za; Moses Mabhida Stadium 031 582 8242 or visit mosesmabhidastadium.co.za

gorge-ous Oribi

PHOTOGRAPHS: PIGGLY WIGGLY, USHAKA MARINE WORLD, ORIBI GORGE

Venture south to beautiful Oribi Gorge, about one-and-a-half hours from Durban. Start with breakfast or a tour at Echo Valley Coffee. Next door, Oribi Gorge Hotel is home to the Wild 5 – a selection of adventure activities. Choose between horse riding, hiking or mountain biking.

For the very brave there is abseiling down a cliff (from 10 years), swinging off the waterfall, or sliding down the 120-metre zip-line (both from six years). Traverse the 100-metre-high suspension bridge or find a spot on the river and spend the day swimming. After your adventure make your way back to the hotel for lunch at one of the restaurants. Children can play in the KidZone for the afternoon before you take a leisurely drive home.

route info Take the N2 down to the South Coast, and turn off towards Kokstad/Harding. Take the Oribi East/ Flats turn-off and follow to Echo Valley Coffee and Oribi Gorge Hotel. useful contacts Echo Valley Coffee 083 677 4362 or visit echocoffee.co.za; Oribi Gorge Hotel 039 687 0253 or visit oribigorge.co.za

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December 2010 / January 2011

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calendar

what’s on in december / january Things to do, places to go, ways to give back, talks and exhibitions

13 mon

SPECIAL EVENTS

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FUN FOR CHILDREN

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ONLY FOR PARENTS

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BUMP, BABY & TOT IN TOW

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HOW TO HELP

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SPECIAL EVENTS Noah and the Ark Join in the fun, colour in and sing along at this interactive show.

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FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

BUMP, BABY & TOT IN TOW

HOW TO HELP

Rayz Kidz World Keeping toddlers entertained with a Creative Zone, Lego Lounge and much more.

Duran Duran – Live in South Africa Tour The world-famous British band performs, with special guest Arno Carstens.

Moms and Tots workshops Interactive programmes that build relationships through fun activities.

SPCA African Dawn Calendar On sale to raise funds for our furry friends at the SPCA.

December 2010 / January 2011

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM, AVANCE PHOTOGRAPHY, LUKE PATTERSON, PAUL GODWIN

plus loads of fun for the whole family. COMPILED BY TAMLYN VINCENT

magazine durban

December 2010 / January 2011

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PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM, AVANCE PHOTOGRAPHY, LUKE PATTERSON, PAUL GODWIN

calendar

SPECIAL EVENTS

december 1 wednesday World Aids Day and the 20th anniversary of service to the community are celebrated by a candle lighting ceremony with prayer bunting and banners. Bring your World Cup bits and pieces for decoration. Time: 10am. Venue: Hillcrest Aids Centre Trust, Old Main Rd. Cost: free entry, donations welcome. Contact: 031 765 5866 or marketing@hillaids.org.za

2 thursday The Twins and the Antique Chest, a children’s book by Durban author Delia Turner, launches at Adams Booksellers.

Time: 5:30pm. Venue: Shop 223, Musgrave Centre, Berea. Cost: free entry. Contact: RSVP to 031 319 4450 or musgrave@ adamsbooks.co.za

3 friday Holiday Fever Join the party with this fantastic line-up of classic hits. Also 4, 5, 12, 18, 19, 21–24 December. Time: 8pm, Sunday 7pm. Venue: Stirling Theatre, Durban North. Cost: R80. Contact: 076 786 1127 or bookings@stirlingtheatre.co.za

4 saturday Christmas Celebration open day with charity shops, live entertainment and a

jumping castle. December events include open days with Father Christmas, 11 and 18 December, and Christmas lunch, 16 December. Time: 8am–12pm. Venue: Kloof and Highway SPCA, 29 Village Rd, Kloof.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 764 1212/3 Highway Hospice Fête Lots of stalls and goodies. Time: 8:30am–2pm. Venue: 59 Locksley Dr, Sherwood. Cost: free entry.

Contact Cheryl: 031 208 6110

5 sunday The South Coast Summer Beach Tour Music, beach boutiques and chill zones. Events run throughout the holiday season. Ends 5 January. Venue: Scottburgh, St Michael’s, Margate and Port Edward beaches. Cost: varies. For more info: visit gomargate.co.za

7 tuesday Duran Duran – Live in South Africa Tour with Arno Carstens as special guest.

Time: 8pm. Venue: ICC, Durban. Cost: R350–R600. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000

8 wednesday

3 December – Holiday Fever

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Nativity and carol service Celebrate Christmas with Gordon Road Girls’ School.

Time: 6:30pm. Venue: 69 Gordon Rd, entrance via 10th Ave, Morningside. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 303 2628

5 December – South Coast Summer Beach Tour

10 friday Lizzard Summer Surf Enjoy the surf and the beach while helping raise funds for local animal welfare. Ends 12 December. Time: 8am–4pm. Venue: Umhlanga Beach. Cost: surfers R200, KZN provincial surfers R150.

For more info: visit durbansurfing.co.za Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood A comedy pantomime for all ages, with Robin Hood, his merry men and plenty

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of fairy-tale magic. Ends 9 January. Time: Tuesday–Sunday 2:30pm, Friday–Saturday 7pm. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, Glenwood. Cost: adults R130, children under 12 R100. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader premieres nationwide.

Lucy, Edmund and their cousin Eustace return to Narnia to join Prince Caspian in a voyage across the sea. Their journey brings them face to face with dragons, merfolk and warriors before reaching the edge of the world. PG-rated film Tree of Light switch-on ceremony Bring a picnic basket and enjoy the evening’s entertainment. Globes to remember loved ones can be purchased on the evening. Time: 6pm. Venue: Jameson

10 December – Lizzard Summer Surf

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Park, Morningside. Cost: free entry, globes R30. Contact Heather: 031 208 6110 or heather@hospice.co.za

11 saturday Story time with Babalela A reading of Diep, Diep in ’n Donker Bos, with a special appearance by a life-size Babalela. For children 3–7 years. Time: 10am. Venue: The Book Boutique, 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com The Beatles – Beatlemania on Tour explores the Beatles phenomenon and you can enjoy their hits such as “Hey Jude” and “Yellow Submarine”. Ends 8 January. Time: varies. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino.

Cost: R220. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

The Fantastical Flea Circus Join the cast for the smallest circus in Durban. Suitable for all ages – no dogs allowed. Ends 9 January. Time: 11am. Venue: Catalina Theatre, Wilson’s Wharf. Cost: R45, boat rides R15. Contact: 031 305 6889

12 sunday Pottery open day at Andrew Walford’s home Visit the mountain-top home and studio of this potter, enjoy a variety of ceramics and eat home-cooked meals. Time: 10am–6pm. Venue: B9 Walford Pottery, Shongweni Valley (7km past Assagay Hotel).

Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 769 1363, 082 795 7796 or visit andrewwalford.co.za

13 monday Christmas Fantasy at the Virginia. Model trains transform the railway site into a fantasy land with play area, refreshments and, of course, Father Christmas. Ends 18 December. Time: 5:30pm–8:30pm. Venue: Model Railway Club, Virginia Circle, Durban North. Cost: adults R40, children R95. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Mountain Biking Skills Clinic teaches core techniques, safe riding skills and for the more advanced, single track riding. For children 5–13 years. Also 14 December, 3–7 and 11–15 January. Time: varies. Venue: Shongweni Polo Pony Club, Giba Gorge

and Durban Beachfront Promenade. Cost: R200 per day. Contact Sarah: 079 607 3344 or sarah@singletrackminded.co.za Noah and the Ark Dress up the children as their favourite animal and join the cast of this interactive show, where children colour in, sing along and more. Ends 14 January. Time: 11am and 2:30pm. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Rd, Umbilo. Cost: R50. Contact Roland: 031 205 7602 or roland@stansell.za.net

Old Mutual Carols by Candlelight concert with the KZN Philharmonic Orchestra.

Time: 3pm, concert 6pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea.

Cost: early birds R70, on concert day R80, children 6–12 years R20. Contact: 031 309 1170, visit durbanbotanicgardens.org.za or book through ticketbreak.co.za

12 sun

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16 thursday Annual Christmas Celebrations market offers handmade crafts, delicious foods and Christmas goodies. Time: 10am– 6pm. Venue: Shongweni Farmers Market, cnr Alverstone and Kassier Rds, Assagay.

Cost: free entry. Contact Christine: 083 777 1674 or info@shongwenimarket.co.za

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19 sunday Back 2 Kool Relive the ’90s as MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice and Snap!’s Turbo B join forces in this ultimate end-of-year party. Time: 8pm.

Venue: ICC, Durban. Cost: R250–R400.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

25 saturday

13 December – Rising Star Academy

Rising Star Academy Performing arts talent workshop and show, with a final show where judges and audience choose the 2011 Rising Star. For children 10–18 years. Ends 17 December. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: The Pumpkin Theatre Club, Ballito. Cost: R1 000. Contact: 083 326 3257, 082 994 0984, enquiries@risingstaracademy.co.za or visit risingstaracademy.co.za

14 tuesday Dolphins by Starlight Join celebrity singers, a gospel choir, a live band and the Sea World dolphins for this musical Christmas extravaganza. Ends 18

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December 2010 / January 2011

December. Time: 7pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World, Standard Bank Dolphin Stadium. Cost: adults R95, children R75.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

15 wednesday Carols by Candlelight Enjoy a snack from a variety of food stalls while singing along to familiar Christmas carols. Buy fresh produce from local farmers. Time: 5:30pm– 9pm. Venue: Karkloof Farmer’s Market, 2km from Howick. Cost: adults R10, children R5.

Contact Andrea: 082 820 8986 or andrea@ karklooffarmersmarket.co.za

Christmas Day lunch at Granny Mouse’s Enjoy Christmas lunch while children participate in planned activities.

Time: 1pm onwards. Venue: Granny Mouse Country House and Spa, Balgowan. Cost: buffet R280, five-course menu R300, children under 12 years half price. Contact: 033 234 4071 or reservations@grannymouse.co.za

28 tuesday Bok van Blerk Be entertained by this Afrikaans legend with songs such as De la Rey. Time: 7pm. Venue: Upper Deck, uShaka Marine World. Cost: R110. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Mrs Santa’s Topsy Turvy Christmas

tues

Bring the children and a picnic and enjoy this interactive children’s show with Mrs Santa and her helper. Ends 24 December. Time: 10am. Venue: The Amphitheatre, Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: R30. Contact Jean: 082 560 7185

january 10 monday I Can Special Needs Centre opening Specialising in remedial, occupational and speech therapy, this centre offers intensive therapy to help children adapt to a mainstream curriculum. For children from preschool to Grade 7. Time: tbc. Venue: 75 Silverton Rd, Musgrave. Cost: tbc. Contact: 084 605 0821, 082 312 4168, info@icansa.co.za or visit ican-sa.co.za

magazine durban

28 friday The Von Memertys Circle of Life brings together the many talents of the Von Memerty family, from dancing to singing and stand-up comedy. Songs included are “Swing Opening” (“I Got Rhythm”, “In The Mood”, “Me and My Shadow”), an over the top Bollywood “Jai Ho” and a sizzling penny whistle number. Ends 29 January.

Time: 6:30pm. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R125. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres. co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science artSPACE presents its Annual Affordable Art Show, with a selection of artists and a variety of art media. 29 November–15 January.

Time: opening night 6:30pm, Monday– Friday 10am–4pm, Saturday and holidays 10am–1pm. Venue: artSPACE, 3 Millar Rd, Durban. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 0793 or visit artspace-durban.com Old Mutual MTN Sciencentre It’s safari time, so join in the exploration. Date and time: 1–15, 27–30 December 9am–9pm, 16–23 December 9am–10pm, 24, 26, 31 December and 2–10 January 9am–7pm.

Venue: Upper level, Gateway. Cost: adults R24, children R29. Contact: 031 566 8040, shabnum.moosa@sciencentre.co.za or visit sciencentre.co.za

Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556, umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za Holiday mosaic workshops for moms and children of all ages. Time: every Thursday 10am–12pm. Venue: 50 Haygarth Rd, Kloof. Cost: R125. Contact: 031 764 6454, 083 782 7810, sheila.nichol@gmail. com or visit kznmosaics.co.za Holistic Healing for Kids focuses on building self-esteem and goal setting for children 6–13 years. Time: every Saturday 2pm–5pm. Venue: North Beach, Durban.

Cost: R200. Contact Rookaya: 031 332 9724 or rookayavawda@mweb.co.za New Daisy Arts Studio Drawing skills, painting and sculpture lessons for anyone 6 years and older. Time: Saturday 9am–

11am, Wednesday 10am–12pm, evenings 5:30pm–7:30pm. Venue: 65 Ethelbert Rd, Malvern. Cost: 6–8 years R225, 9 years and older R250. Contact: 073 540 9210 or daniella.hartman@gmail.com Nippers Learn beach and swimming safety while having fun. Weekly training sessions.

For children 8–13 years. Time: Sunday 10am–12:30pm. Venue: Warnadoone Club House, Doonside. Cost: R200 a year.

Contact Melanie: 074 149 9084 or mel@ homemail.co.za Roxy Learn to Surf Group or individual lessons for ages 7 and older. All surfboards, rash vests and wetsuits provided. Time: every Tuesday 12pm–5pm. Venue: Suncoast beach. Cost: R150 per hour. Contact Alan: 076 877 5143

classes, talks and workshops

28 January – The Von Memertys Circle of Life

magazine durban

Dharma for Kids aims to teach love, compassion and wisdom. For children 5–12 years and parents. 5 December. Time: 10am– 11am. Venue: Mahasiddha Buddhist Centre, 2 Hollings Rd, Malvern. Cost: R10. Contact: 031 464 0984, info@meditateindurban.org or visit meditateindurban.org E-Learner courses IT-certification courses for high school learners. Time: 10:30am– 5pm. Venue: 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R2 855.

29 November–15 January – artSPACE – Annual Affordable Art Show

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Holiday Mosaic workshop for moms and tots

Yoga for Children develops core strength and flexibility while improving concentration.

Time: every Tuesday 2:30pm. Venue: Centre for Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R40. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za

eating out @tap coffee corner Savour the coffee while your children enjoy the playground.

Time: Tuesday–Friday 9am–4pm, Saturday 8am–2pm. Venue: 20 MacKeurtan Ave, Durban North. Contact: 031 563 2678 or 031 563 0882 Bon Vie Shop for clothes and furniture, visit the spa, or have coffee while the children play in the sandpit or on the jungle gym.

Vintage Recession open day 9 December.

Time: Monday–Friday 8am–4pm, Saturday– Sunday 9am–3pm. Venue: 16 Bute Rd, Windermere. Contact: 076 735 4394, 082 378 0279 or bonvie@sia.co.za Cane Cutters Resort offers a family restaurant with children’s play area. Litchi picking during December. Time: 7am–late.

Venue: Sheffield Beach. Contact: 032 947 0851 or stay@canecuttersresort.co.za Duck ‘n Deck animal farm A chance for children to touch, feel and interact with animals. Closed Mondays. Time: 9:30am– 4pm. Venue: 3 Willow Way, Assagay.

Cost: R15. Contact: 031 768 1029 or visit duckanddeck.co.za

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Fabulous Flavours Moms can enjoy a meal or cappuccino while their toddlers play in the safe, indoor play area. Feeding and changing rooms available. Time: Monday– Friday 7:30am–4pm, Saturday–Sunday 8am–2pm. Venue: The Well, Albertina Way, Ballito. Contact: 032 946 1527, 082 657 4170, kids@fabulousflavours.co.za or visit fabulousflavours.co.za Flag Animal Farm with all types of farm animals, pony and horse rides, a tea garden and more. Time: 9am–4pm.

Venue: Umhlali. Cost: R25. Contact: 032 947 2018, fosgreen@mweb.co.za or visit flaganimalfarm.co.za Hybrid Living Parents can browse in the shops or have a meal while children play in the Grubby Knees garden. Time: 8am–4pm. Venue: 1 Old Fort Rd, Umhlali (exit 214 from highway). Contact: 032 525 5115 or visit hybridcentre.co.za Piggly Wiggly Kloof offers great coffees, breakfasts and light meals, with a lovely playground for children. Time: Monday– Saturday 7am–4pm. Venue: Robyndale Centre, Kloof. Contact: 031 764 2497 or visit pigglywiggly.co.za The Animal Farmyard offers daily milking demonstrations, the chance for your children to bottle-feed newborn animals, enjoy pony rides and the foefie slide. Time: open daily 9am–4:30pm, milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill.

Cost: entry R10, rides R4. Contact: 031 765 2240, jenny@animalfarmyard.co.za or visit animalfarmyard.co.za

family outings Annual Books2You Christmas Sale Find popular titles by your favourite authors at affordable prices. 6–11 December.

Time: Monday–Friday 8am–5pm, Saturday 8am–1pm. Venue: 38D Margaret Crescent, Forest Hills. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 907 1577, info@books2you.co.za or visit books2you.co.za

Tots n Pots Berea where children have fun learning to cook.

Every Tuesday and Thursday until the end of the 4th term and from 13–15 December. Time: 10am– 11:15am, 2pm–3:15pm. Venue: Ridge Rd, Berea. Contact: 083 280 2054 or hawa@totsnpots.com

magazine durban

Horseback beach adventures Ride along the beach, through the bush, or take a moonlit evening ride. Time: Friday–Wednesday 3pm. Venue: Isipingo, directions sent on booking confirmation.

Cost: R250–R350. Contact: 084 467 0752, horsebackbeachadventures@gmail.com or visit horsebackbeachadventures. bravehost.com Moses Mabhida Stadium offers fun family activities. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Masabalala Yengwa Ave, Stamford Hill.

Cost: SkyCar adults R50, children 6–12 years R25; Big Swing R595; professional tour R75; general tour adults R20, children 6–12 years R15. Contact: 031 582 8242 or visit mosesmabhidastadium.co.za Rayz Kids World Spend the day visiting Crabby Beach, Black Skulls Treasure Cave and Rayz Gold Diggers. For children 2–10 years. Tiny tots and parents also catered for.

Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R35. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za Splash Waterworld Water slides, children’s slides, lazy river, mini golf and more. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: 97 Beach Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: adults R60, children R40, party of four R200. Contact: 031 904 2273, 082 781 5535 or visit splashwaterworld.co.za The Inchanga Choo Choo travels through the scenic Valley of 1000 Hills. Christmas carols on 19 December. 12, 19, 26, 27 December and 9 January. Time: departs 8:30am or 12:30pm. Venue: Stoker’s Arms, Kloof Station. Cost: adults R150, children R120. Contact: 087 808 7715, 082 353 6003 or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play 1000 Hills Bird Park Home to rare and exotic birds. Post your letter to Father Christmas in the aviary postbox. Time: Tuesday–Sunday 8am–4pm. Venue: 1 Clement Stott Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: adults R25, children R15. Contact: 072 927 8242 or visit 1000hillsbirdpark.co.za Dangerous Creatures Face some of the world’s fastest and most poisonous reptiles, including the king cobra and poison dart frogs. Time: 10am–5pm daily. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R25. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za The Barn Swallows Viewers of this birding phenomenon can take their own chairs, drinks, snacks and mosquito repellent.

Playground available. Children 8 years and older can join monthly bird-ringing sessions.

Time: 5pm. Venue: Swallow view site, Mt Moreland, Umdloti. Cost: R10 per car. Visit: barnswallows.co.za Treasure Beach Explore the shoreline with a guide while learning about ecosystems.

Open to parties or groups. Time: varies.

Venue: 835 Marine Dr, Bluff. Cost: adults R35, children R20. Contact Verlin: 031 467 8507 or tbeachadmin@wessakzn.org.za

holiday activities Boot Camp Join Camp India Holiday Mission, a day camp offering various activities from obstacle courses to target shooting and survival skills. For children magazine durban

5–12 years. 13–15 December. Time: 8am– 4:30pm. Venue: Giba Valley, Pinetown. Cost: full programme R850, daily programme R300. Contact: 031 701 7282 or 082 782 6432, durban@bootcamp-sa.co.za or visit bootcamp-sa.co.za Children’s Christmas activities at Hillcrest Corner include face painting, jumping castle, and visits from Christmas elves. 4, 11, 18, 24 December, with evening performance by Hillcrest Christian Fellowship Choir on 17 December. Time: varies. Venue: Hillcrest Corner Shopping Centre, Old Main Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: free.

For more info: visit hillcrestcorner.co.za Christmas at the Crescent Shopping Centre includes a range of events from crafts and music to Santa visits. 11–23 December.

Time: 11am–2:30pm. Venue: The Crescent, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 566 2887 or visit thecrescent.co.za Christmas entertainment Art and crafts workshops for children 5–10 years old. 11, 16, 18, 22 December. Time: 11am–1pm.

Venue: Heritage Market, 9 Old Main Road, Hillcrest. Cost: free. Contact: 031 765 2500 Clamber Club Holiday Club For a stimulating and fun-filled morning, for children 4–6 years. 13–17 December. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: Glenashley Scout Hall.

Cost: R120 a day. Contact: 082 556 6622 or partiesdurbancoastal@clamberclub.co.za Clamber Club open days with jungle gyms, trampoline, slides and more.

Refreshments for sale. 13–17 December, 3–14 January. Time: 10am–4:30pm. Venue: Hellenic Community Centre, 6 High Grove Rd, Durban North. Cost: R20. Contact Michaela: 074 101 2616 Dunrobin Kids Club offers a range of fun activities from making photo frames to T-shirt painting. 15 December and 5 and 12 January. Time: 9:30am–12pm. Venue: Dunrobin Garden Centre, 51 Old Main Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: R50. Contact: 033 342 2191 or accounts@dunrobinnursery.co.za

1000 Hills Bird Park

Holiday Club with fun activities, structured play and crafts for the morning or full day.

13 December–14 January. Time: 7am–5pm.

Venue: Hillary/Bellair. Cost: half-day R60, full-day R80. Contact Mandy: 072 254 3377 or mandylander@hotmail.com King’s Camps offers a fun sport and activity holiday camp with indoor, outdoor and swimming events. 13–17 December.

Time: 8am–3:30pm. Venue: Highbury December 2010 / January 2011

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calendar Preparatory School, Hillcrest. Cost: from R400–R750. Contact: 072 189 4288 or visit kingscamps.org Montessori Life holiday club for arts, crafts, games and a lot of outdoor fun in a safe environment. For children 2–12 years.

6 December–14 January. Time: 7:30am– 12:30pm or 7:30am–5pm. Venue: 7 Little Nook, Sunningdale. Cost: half-day R70, fullday R100. Contact: 072 444 7277, nicky@ topschools.co.za or visit montessori-life.com Playball December holiday club with a variety of activities and games. For children 3 years and older. 13–17 December. Time: 8am–12pm. Venue: Playball venue, Old Main Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: week R600, day R150. Contact Kim: 031 765 8780 Rainbow Roo Kids’ holiday club with a flower garden, art and crafts, a Christmas party and more. 13–17 December. Time: 8:30am–12:30pm. Venue: Unit 1, 71 Old Main Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: R65 a day. Contact Lynette: 031 765 7619, 079 102 4956 or info@rainbowroo.co.za Safari Sleepover at the MTN Sciencentre Go wild and join in the overnight safari activities. Meals included. 10–11 December.

Time: 6pm–8am. Venue: MTN Sciencentre, Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: R200.

Contact: 031 566 8040, info@sciencentre. co.za or visit sciencentre.co.za Sandart Christmas card activities for children 4–12 years. 10–24 December.

Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: La Lucia Mall.

Cost: R15 per card activity. Contact: 031 209 3550 or ingridlloyd@mweb.co.za

Busyballers Holiday Clinic with age-appropriate games, sports and crafts, such as fun races, obstacle courses and making Christmas crackers. For children 3–10 years. 13, 15, 17, 20 December. Time: 8am–12:30pm. Venue: Morningside Sports Club, 132 Hollander Crescent. Cost: R80 a day. Contact: 083 236 0059, lisa@ busyballers.co.za or visit busyballers.co.za

Santa visits La Lucia Mall Children can have their picture taken with Santa or write him a letter. 4–24 December. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: La Lucia Mall. Cost: free, photo with Santa R60. Contact: 031 562 8420 or visit laluciamall.co.za Sugar Bay Camps for children and teenagers, from 7–17 years, with a variety of themes and activities. Several camps run over 4 December–9 January. Time: opens from 3pm–4pm. Venue: 21 Nkwazi Rd,

Zinkwazi Beach. Cost: varies. Contact: 032 485 3778, holidays@sugarbay.co.za or visit sugarbay.co.za Summer holiday boot camp Five-day fitness programme in a social setting.

Children attend for an hour on alternate days. For children 8–17 years. Time: varies.

Venue: Morningside Primary School, Lumsden Crescent. Cost: R300. Contact: 082 443 4533, 082 556 5540, laura@ theperfectfit.co.za or visit theperfectfit.co.za Tots n Pots is running baking and cooking classes for 1,5 to 2 hours. Dates, times and costs vary depending on the branch. Venue: branches are in Amanzimtoti, Ballito, Berea, Hillcrest and Umhlanga. For more info: visit totsnpots.com

markets

Montessori Life Holiday Club

Essenwood Market Fresh food, children’s activities and a range of stalls.

Every Saturday. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Essenwood Rd. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com Farmer’s Market Non-refrigerated fresh produce. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: Jimmy Bellows Sports Field, Westville (Thursday), Autumn Drive, Umhlanga (Wednesday), Amanzimtoti Sports Club (Tuesday).

Contact Rob: 082 413 1887

Golden Hours Family Market Fundraising initiative of Golden Hours Special School with loads of stalls and fun for children.

Every Sunday. Time: 10am–3:30pm. Venue: Uitsig Rd, Durban North. Cost: free entry.

Contact Lyn: 083 262 3693 Hirsch’s Morning Market Crafts, fresh produce and home-made food. Every Wednesday. Time: 8am–12pm. Venue: Hirsch’s Homestore, Millennium Bridge Business Park. Contact: 031 570 4000 i heart market Food and design market showcasing locally produced crafts, food and fresh veggies. 4, 11, 18 December.

Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: DLI Hall, 5 DLI Ave, Greyville. Contact: 079 496 4788 or thejoyteam@gmail.com Karkloof Farmers’ Market Indoor market with a variety of Christmas goodies, music and children’s activities. Every Saturday.

Time: 7am–11am. Venue: off the D507, along the Karkloof Rd. Contact: 082 820 8986 or visit karklooffarmersmarket.co.za Our Country Market with natural, fresh produce and a range of other stalls. Petting farm and pony rides available for children.

Last Sunday of every month. Time: 9am– 1pm. Venue: The Heritage Market, Hillcrest.

Contact: 031 765 2500 Shongweni Farmers’ and Craft Market Gourmet food, organic and local produce and crafts. Every Saturday. Time: 6:30am– 10am. Venue: cnr Kassier and Alverstone Rds, Assagay. Contact Christine: 083 777 1674 or info@shongwenimarket.co.za The Litchi Orchard Farmers’ Market Covered market featuring live music and a children’s playground. First and third Saturday of every month. Time: 9am–1pm.

Venue: Seaforth Ave, Foxhill. Contact: 084 205 6151 or jeremy@litchiorchard.co.za The Riverside Market offers high-quality products, including ceramics, woodwork, food, jigsaws and more. Proceeds go to local charities. First Sunday of every month. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: Northern entrance of Scottburgh, Scottburgh River Mouth.

Contact Sue or Tony: 039 975 3893 The Stables Lifestyle Market Craft and products market offering clothing, toys, jewellery, food and more. Time: Wednesday and Friday 6pm–10pm, Sunday 10am– 5pm. Venue: Jacko Jackson Dr, off Smiso Nkwanyana Rd, Stamford Hill. For more info: visit stablesmarket.co.za

family marketplace

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December 2010 / January 2011

magazine durban

on stage and screen Angelo Rules premieres Angelo is an 11year-old boy with plenty of schemes and strategies that land him in some interesting fixes. Time: 10:30am on DStv channel 301 Dolphins by Starlight Join celebrity singers and the Sea World dolphins for this musical Christmas extravaganza. 14–18 December.

Time: 7pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World.

Cost: adults R95, children R75. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Mrs Santa’s Topsy Turvy Christmas Interactive children’s show with Mrs Santa and her helper. 14–24 December. Time: 10am. Venue: The Amphitheatre, Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: R30. Contact Jean: 082 560 7185 Noah and the Ark Join the cast of this interactive show, where children colour in, sing along and more. 13 December–14 January. Time: 11am and 2:30pm. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Rd, Umbilo. Cost: R50. Contact Roland: 031 205 7602 or roland@stansell.za.net Old Mutual Carols by Candlelight concert with the KZN Philharmonic Orchestra. 12 December. Time: 3pm, concert 6pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens.

Cost: early birds R70, on concert day R80, children 6–12 years R20. Contact: 031 309 1170 or visit durbanbotanicgardens.org.za or book through ticketbreak.co.za Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood A comedy pantomime for all ages. 10 December–9 January. Time: Tuesday–Sunday 2:30pm, Friday and Saturday 7pm. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, Glenwood.

Cost: adults R130, children under 12 R100.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader premieres on 10 December. Lucy, Edmund and cousin Eustace return to Narnia in a voyage across the sea. Their journey brings them face to face with dragons, merfolk and warriors before reaching the edge of the world. PG-rated The Fantastical Flea Circus – the smallest circus in Durban. 11 December–9 January.

Time: 11am. Venue: Catalina Theatre, Wilson’s Wharf. Cost: R45, boat rides R15.

Contact: 031 305 6889 The Von Memertys Circle of Life brings together the many talents of the Von

magazine durban

The Food Market for locally produced coffee, cheese, breads, children’s corner, mini flower market and tea garden. 22 December, 29 January. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: The Hellenic Community Centre, Durban North. Contact: 083 777 5633 or visit thefoodmarket.co.za

Memerty family, from dancing to singing to stand-up comedy. 28 and 29 January. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R125. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

playtime and story time Books and Books children’s story time Every Saturday. Time: 10am. Venue: Shop 42 Kensington Square, 53 Kensington Dr, Durban North. Cost: free. Contact: 031 563 6288 or booksandbooks@telkomsa.net Children’s story time A story followed by a craft or activity. For ages 3–8 years. Every Saturday. Time: 10am. Venue: 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Clamber Club Jungle gym, hoops, balls, sand pit and more. Open every Friday. Time: 12pm–4:30pm. Venue: Hellenic Community

Centre, High Grove Rd, Durban North. Cost: R20. Contact Michaela: 074 101 2616 Steam train rides Ride a miniature steam engine at the Durban Society of Model Engineers. Second and fourth Sunday every month. Playground and tea/coffee available. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 per ride.

Contact: 083 284 6469 Story time with Babalela A reading of Diep, Diep in ’n Donker Bos, with a special appearance by Babalela. For children 3–7 years. 11 December. Time: 10am. Venue: The Book Boutique, 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com

Venue: Hillcrest Library, 22 Delamore Rd. Cost: R25. Contact: 031 765 2162, meditateinhillcrest@gmail.com or visit meditateinhillcrest.org Whisk It Cooking classes for Christmas ideas, non-traditional Christmas dishes and desserts. Domestic courses also on offer.

Time: varies. Venue: Durban North. Cost: varies. Contact Mark: 031 562 9897 or 076 721 8256 or whiskit@kideco.co.za Yoga on the beach Classes held every Thursday for adults and teens, from beginners to advanced. Every Thursday.

Time: 5pm–6pm. Venue: Suncoast Zone.

Cost: free. Contact: 031 201 8585

sport and physical activities

Back 2 Kool MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice and Snap!’s Turbo B join forces for this ultimate end-of-year party. 19 December. Time: 8pm. Venue: ICC, Durban. Cost: R250– R400. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Bok van Blerk performs. 28 December.

Time: 7pm. Venue: Upper Deck, uShaka Marine World. Cost: R110. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Duran Duran – Live in South Africa Tour with special guest Arno Carstens.

7 December. Time: 8pm. Venue: ICC, Durban. Cost: R350–R600. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Holiday Fever Offers a line-up of classic hits, along with a few new songs from the past year. 3–5, 12, 18, 19, 21–24 December.

Time: Friday 8pm, Sunday 7pm. Venue: Stirling Theatre, Durban North. Cost: R80.

Contact: 076 786 1127 or bookings@ stirlingtheatre.co.za The Beatles – Beatlemania on Tour explores the Beatles phenomenon. 11 December–8 January. Time: varies. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino. Cost: R220.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Who’s Your Daddy? A festive season re-run by the Gee Gays, a musical tribute to the ’60s and ’70s. Ends 31 December. Time: Tuesday–Saturday 7pm, Sunday 12:30pm.

Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest.

Cost: Wednesday–Saturday R190, Tuesday and Sunday R165. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za

Adventure Golf Three courses with nine holes each at the world’s largest indoor course. Time: Monday–Thursday 9am– 10pm, Friday–Sunday 9am–11pm. Venue: The Pavilion Shopping Centre, Westville.

Cost: adults R45, under 16 R39, under 7 R29.

Contact: 031 265 1570, info@adventuregolf. co.za or visit adventuregolf.co.za The Wavehouse features a variety of attractions from the flowrider to the skate park. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: Gateway Theatre of Shopping, Umhlanga. Cost: varies.

Contact: 031 584 9400, info@wavehouse. co.za or visit wavehouse.co.za

ONLY FOR PARENTS classes, talks and workshops Childcare First Aid Workshop Emergency procedures for all childcarers.

Last Saturday every month. Time: 9am– 3pm. Venue: New Era House, 6 Joseph Ave, Glen Anil. Cost R500. Contact Kate: 083 271 5127 or durban@edubabe.co.za Edu-Maid childcare and child stimulation courses for domestics. Time: varies. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R350. Contact Eleanor: 031 572 4313 or 084 821 6668 Gecko Culinary School offers mini chef and gourmet courses, plus sushi classes and singles evenings. Time: varies. Venue: 596B Musgrave Rd, Durban. Cost: varies.

Contact Megan: 031 209 4555, 082 467 8088 or megan@geckoschool.co.za Meditation classes for moms Every Friday. Time: 8:30am–9:30am.

on stage and screen

December 2010 / January 2011

39

calendar

support groups ADHASA support groups for adult and child ADHD. Meetings are irregular.

Contact Stuart: 031 298 8896 or Robin 082 499 1344 for details CANSA support Durban North for survivors, relatives and friends. Second Tuesday every month. Venue: Durban North Methodist Church Hall. Contact: 031 564 2510 (for CANSA support groups in other areas call 031 205 9525) Childhood cancer parent support group CHOC schedules regular support meetings. Contact Gill: 084 831 3683 or visit choc.org.za Childline works to protect children, offer counselling to abuse victims, educate and train. Call the toll-free line any time on 0800 055 555 or visit childlinesa.org.za Compassionate Friends support group for family and friends who have lost a loved one. Fourth Sunday every month. Venue: ABSA premises, 20 Hunter St, Durban CBD. Time: 3pm–5pm. Contact: 031 335 0463 or 082 458 3663 Depression and Anxiety South Africa for depression, trauma, bipolar disorder, and other mood and anxiety disorders. Call the national helpline on 0800 20 51 21 for referral to the relevant support group Diabetes South Africa Contact: 0861 222 717 or durban@diabetessa.co.za Down Syndrome Association KZN Intuthuko support group meeting for those with Down Syndrome and their families.

Third Saturday of every month. Venue: Anglican Church Hall, Umbilo Rd, Umbilo.

Contact: 076 978 9811 FAMSA offers family and relationship counselling, parenting guidance, conflict resolution and more. Contact: 031 202 8987 or visit 30 Bulwer Rd, Glenwood Hi Hopes offers support and information to families of babies with hearing loss. Contact Cheryl: 082 447 1142, cheryl.devnath@ gmail.com or visit wits.ac.za/Humanities/ Education/Deaf+Studies/HIHOPES Hoping is Coping Nationwide support groups for those newly diagnosed with cancer and their families. Contact: 011 646 5628, lgold@icon.co.za or visit cansa.org.za Reach for Recovery Breast Cancer Support Group gets together for bringand-share morning teas. Contact: 072 248 0008 or 03l 205 9525 SADAG South African Depression and Anxiety Group offers assistance to those struggling with depression, drug abuse or who are suicidal. For more information or referral to a support group visit sadag.co.za Speak Easy A support group for those who stutter and their families. Contact Imraan: 082 786 3718 or visit speakeasy.org.za

BUMP, BABY & TOT IN TOW

classes, talks and workshops Baby Bond Workshop Moms are invited to this structured baby massage training course, to engage in nurturing touch and baby education. Every Tuesday. Time: 10:30am–12:30pm. Venue: Limelight Spa, 15 Bedale Rd, Malvern. Cost: R800 for four sessions. Contact Jaycie: 033 463 1044,

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December 2010 / January 2011

Story time at La Lucia Library Join other moms and tots for a children’s story.

Time: 1pm every Wednesday and Friday.

Venue: 1 Library Lane, behind La Lucia Mall. Cost: free. Contact: 031 572 2986 Toptots Children from 8 weeks–4 years can join an age-appropriate class to learn and play. Activities range from music to free play to pilates. Time: varies. Venue: branches are in Durban North, Ballito, Kloof, Hillcrest, Westville and Hilton. Cost: approximately R810 per term. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, info@ toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za

support groups

ECR Toy Story seed packs This year the Toy Story campaign aims to help families in need by providing them with seed packs. Families will be encouraged to grow their own immune-boosting vegetables in an effort to create sustainable living.

To make a donation to this cause visit ecr.co.za

082 450 5332, limelightspa@telkomsa.net or visit spalimelight.co.za Pregnancy Yoga teaches beneficial postures, relaxation and breathing techniques for pregnancy. Time: Wednesday 3pm, Saturday 10am. Venue: Centre for Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North.

Cost: R170. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za

playtime and story time Durban Botanic Gardens Get together with other moms and take a stroll around the gardens. Time: 7:30am–5:15pm daily.

Venue: Sydenham Rd, Durban. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 309 1170 or visit durbanbotanicgardens.org.za Moms and Tots and Moms and Babes workshops Interactive programmes designed to build relationships through play and fun activities. Time: varies. Venue: branches available in Umhlanga, Durban North, the Highway area and Glenwood.

Cost: varies. Contact: info@momsandtots. co.za or visit momsandbabes.co.za or momsandtots.co.za Muslimahs and Tots workshops Interactive programmes designed to build relationships through play and fun activities; geared specifically towards Muslim parents.

Time: Monday 9:30am–12pm. Venue: 59 Milkwood Dr, Umhlanga. Cost: R600 per term. Contact: 031 561 6615, 084 478 6322 or visit muslimahsandtots.co.za

La Leche is a worldwide breastfeeding support organisation. There are currently no meetings in KZN, but for breastfeeding support and questions contact Jane: 031 309 1801 or visit llli.org/southafrica Moms and Babes support group meets monthly for a talk – this month looks at the development of the jaw in babies. 14 December. Time: 9am–10:30am. Venue: Alberlito Hospital, Ballito. Cost: free. Contact: 032 946 6956 or 032 946 1826 Post-natal Depression Support Association of South Africa Call the National Helpline on 082 882 0072 or visit pndsa.co.za The South African Multiple Birth Association support group for families with multiples. Join for resources, newsletters, contacts, social network, functions and seminars. Contact: 082 338 2625 for counselling, kzn@samultiplebirth. co.za or visit samultiplebirth.co.za

HOW TO HELP Buckets of Love campaign donates buckets filled with nutritious foodstuff to families in need; those who would often go without one or two meals a day. Give someone the gift of a healthy Christmas dinner this year by donating a bucket. For more info: visit cwd.org.za Giba Toy Collection In a move to enrich the lives of disadvantaged children in local communities, Giba Gorge will be collecting toys for orphanages and other organisations.

For the weekend of 4–5 December, gate fare to the park will be in the form of toys and gifts for children up to the age of 12 years.

Contact: 031 769 1527, lisa@gibagorge. co.za or visit gibagorge.co.za SPCA 2011 Calendar – African Dawn is being sold in an effort to raise funds for our furry friends at the Kloof and Highway SPCA. Money raised will be put towards the outreach and sterilisation programmes. Calendars are R150. To get your copy of this calendar contact: orders@underanafricansky.co.za or visit underanafricansky.co.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za or fax it to 031 207 3429. Information must be received by 5 January 2011 for the February issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published.

magazine durban

it’s party time

magazine durban

December 2010 / January 2011

41

last laugh

is your child your conscience?

Does it really matter who keeps who on the straight and narrow, asks SAM WILSON.

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December 2010 / January 2011

you? And how is this different?” Nineyear-olds can have a very strong sense of injustice.

(Me? Still pretending to be asleep.)

“And Mom? That’s your fake snore,” said Joe, sternly. “No-one’s buying it.”

(Dammit.)

Now, this kind of thing has happened before in my home. But, I was telling one of my friends about it and she shook her head sternly at me.

“Sam, that’s terrible. We don’t want our children to be our consciences,” she said with a dismissive wave to my parenting skills.

I spent the requisite amount of time feeling appropriately chastened (read two days) before it occurred to me that I don’t actually agree with that sentiment.

Why shouldn’t my boys chip in on the collective conscience front? We try to be our sons’ consciences where appropriate, but both Dreas and I are pretty anti being

dictatorial – we’re bigger on discussion than declaration.

Just yesterday we had a rather vigorous debate as to whether we should continue ordering large pizzas for Pizza Party Night each Wednesday, enabling us all to have pizza for breakfast and lunch as well.

“But it saves on washing up! And cooking! And peanut butter!” argued Benj.

“And, and... we all really love pizza!”

“I know, I know. I thought those things too,” I conceded, “until I realised that we eat pizza for an entire day every week, which means we eat pizza nearly 15 percent of the time. That can’t be good.”

“In fact,” said Dreas,” I think it’s actively bad.”

“I see what you mean,” said Joe, glumly. “It’s more like Pizza Party Day, isn’t it?”

And there was reluctant agreement all round.

Now that the boys are big enough to have their own morals and opinions, I am not sure why they shouldn’t speak up when we, er, slip up. Because slipping up is part of human nature, we aren’t going to “parent” them out of that. But we can try to teach them to face up to stuff they may not be handling so well. (Read: eating all the pies.) And, surely, letting them draw attention to our own flaws and – this is the tricky bit – being seen to value their comments, is the best way to do that?

Sure, I have more experience than my children, but I don’t believe that makes me necessarily a better judge of right and wrong. I’m just old enough to take my own gut feelings more seriously.

And maybe that, in essence, is the core skill we should be trying to teach.

Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24, Parent24 and Food24. She’s also genuinely distraught about this new pizza decision.

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PHOTOGRAPH: ANDREAS SPÄTH

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enj clattered into our bedroom one morning, after Andreas and I had been out clubbing for a sizeable portion of the night.

“Oh good grief,” he said crossly, as he plopped himself on the corner of the bed.

“Joe, come and look at this!”

Joe hurried in, took one look and started tut-tutting too. The foot of our bed was strewn with empty pie packets, and each of our bedside tables sported a giant can of Coke.

“Mommy and I were very hungry after a night of dancing and the garage shop was the only place open!” said Andreas defensively. “We know it was bad, but...”

(I was pretending to be asleep.)

Benjamin cut Andreas off with a dismissive wave.

“That’s not an excuse,” he said. “You could have made sandwiches when you got home. You were just too lazy. You wouldn’t let us eat midnight pies, would

Joe, Sam and Benj