Child Magazine | Durban Feb 2013

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

the

back to school issue 5

www.childmag.co.za

February 2013

free

things to get your head around in 2013

vaccinations – your moral obligation breaking the cycle of crèche syndrome how the new curriculum affects your child when bullying goes viral when is it really ADHD?

health

education

entertainment

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Welcome back to the start of a wonderful new year.

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za

By now you will have eased into some kind of routine as your baby starts to sleep through, your toddler settles into crèche or your child looks forward to a new school year.

After a three-week break, we at Child magazine are back into our routine at work, feeling refreshed and ready to bring you another year’s worth of great parenting reads and resources.

All that starts right here with our “Back to School” issue, which is brimming with updates on health and education, light reads, informative parenting pieces and as always, something topical to get us talking. As we stride into our 10th year of publishing Child magazine,

Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za Alys Suter • studio2@childmag.co.za Mariette Barkhuizen • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

Lisa Waterloo • waterloo@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation

we are even more enthusiastic about parenting and the important role we play, and we know that you share and fuel our passion to bring you a magazine that is relevant, informative and entertaining.

Here’s to an amazing 2013. May it bring good health and happiness to you and your family.

If you love the magazine you’ll love our website. Visit us at childmag.co.za

Helen Xavier • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

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Durban’s Child magazine TM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: 1st Floor, MB House, 641 Peter Mokaba Road, Overport, 4091. Tel: 031 209 2200, fax: 031 207 3429, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Durban’s Child magazine TM . We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles, and other editorial content, are accurate and balanced, but cannot accept responsibility for loss, damage or inconvenience that may arise from reading them.

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February 2013

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contents

february 2013

upfront 3

a note from lisa

5 over to you readers respond 15 dad’s blog

Marc de Chazal praises the dads who have joined the nappy- changing brigade

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features

7 pregnancy news – perfect timing

12 cover story

when is the right time to fall pregnant? Lucille Kemp looks at

points to consider

all you need to know when your child wants to enter the world of modelling and acting. By Jennifer Stastny

16 education 101

Michelle Jones explains the new curriculum and helps you make sense of the terminology

18 positively single

arenting alone need not be p a negative experience, says Helena Kingwill

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best for baby – get that shot

Glynis Horning says there’s overwhelming evidence that vaccinations save lives

10 dealing with difference

child psychiatrist Brendan Belsham explains the importance of a proper diagnosis for ADHD

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19 so, you should know...

Christina Castle asked a few teachers what useful information they wish they could share with parents 20 break the cycle

you can boost your child’s immune system to escape the dreaded crèche syndrome. By Kim Maxwell

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26 resource – roots, shoots and muddy boots

Samantha van Riet shows you how to get your children to become keen gardeners

27 a good read

new books for the whole family

22 when bullying goes viral

28 what’s on in february

34 finishing touch

s ocial media has made bullying a lot more sinister. By Tori Hoffmann

regulars

nél Lewis gets a lesson in the real A meaning of fun during the holidays

classified ads

6 upfront with paul

aul Kerton warns parents against P being “pushy” and having unrealistic dreams for their children

33 let’s party 34 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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February 2013

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

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letters

over to you

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

keep your children close

bullies

help for gifted children

There are many child-friendly places with play equipment to keep children busy where parents can relax with friends and enjoy a cuppa. But I have noticed how many parents don’t bother about keeping an eye on their children at these places. Recently a friend and I visited a popular venue with our children. Unfortunately, the fencing around the play area is low and the play equipment creates a number of blind spots for parents who are seated at the tables. We noticed a man walk up to the fence and watch the children. He took out his cellphone and made a short call, still watching the children. He did not have a child at the play area and alarmed, we pointed this out to the manager, who told the man to leave. The childminders didn’t do anything.

Parents, please, don’t expect others to look after your children. Be vigilant all the time. One kidnapping or potential kidnapping is one too many.

Susannah Hillman

A learner recently shot and killed another learner because he was being bullied. It had apparently been going on for a long time. Where was the school and where were the teachers? More importantly, did the parents of the shooter not know that he was being bullied? Were the bully’s parents unaware that their child was torturing others?

Children spend hours at school every day. It’s important that parents take the initiative to keep the lines of communication open between themselves and the school.

It’s essential for parents to communicate with their children on a daily basis and to work at building an emotional bond.

Children are usually not honest when you ask them directly how their day went. But if you do something relaxing with them, they might find it easier to open up.

If we encourage a trusting relationship and give them unconditional love, they are more likely to confide in us than bully someone else, or use a gun to solve a problem.

Michele Engelberg

There is very little educational hope in South Africa for gifted children. In many cases education is even worse than the miserable boredom I experienced in the 1970s and 1980s. At the age of 28, my verbal IQ was assessed at ceiling level and my nonverbal IQ was at 155 on the old Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale.

Fortunately for me, my mother, who knew nothing about giftedness, bought me every book I asked for, even when money was scarce. At the age of 12 my library at home had in excess of 1 500 books; most of them factual.

I’d always have four to eight open. I used to speedread the storybooks in book stores. That’s how I taught myself. School was too easy, so my spare time was spent expanding my library and eventually visiting other libraries.

My advice to parents of gifted children is to give your child as much love as you can. Be disciplined with them and challenge them. They should then be fine on their own.

Anonymous

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We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

February 2013

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upfront with paul

Encourage your children to try new things and test their skills, but don’t overdo it, says PAUL KERTON.

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he phrase “pushy parent” prompts a slight curl of the lip and is used to describe mothers and fathers who are deemed to push their children too hard to achieve a talent or status in life that they never quite achieved themselves. Witness the cliché of a pretty but aging mother hawking her even prettier daughter from beauty pageant to modelling agency to drama audition.

It’s the “I could have been a contender” syndrome rearing its ugly head and kicking in with a vengeance. Where the parent feels that they could’ve, would’ve, should’ve been “something” but they threw their opportunity away, and now they will be damned if their child is going to “make the same mistake”. Classic.

Meanwhile the child is exhausted from being towed all over town to do extra “work” when all she wants to do is chill and watch iCarly, having put in a day shift already at school.

Pushy Wikipedia cofounder, Larry Sanger, started a growing trend of “early reading” when he used PowerPoint

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February 2013

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

presentations to teach his two-year-old son to read and inadvertently launched a new “religion” – worshipping the patron saint of precocious children. One devotee, Dana Wilkey, started teaching her son to read from four days old. Yes, you’re right, babies can’t even focus on the book at that age, but her philosophy of “it’s never too early to make your child brilliant” included bombarding her son with flash cards twice a day. “I would

show John words such as “milk”, give him my breast, and then show him the baby sign language for milk.” My English teacher never did that.

As we speak, there is an enormous industry exploding in teaching babies to communicate before they can crawl, never mind walk; with “signing” being a big craze. Visit tinytalk.co.uk and prepare to be stunned as millions of moms and dads converse with their babies using

sign language. These are the extremes of parental pushiness though. Most parents are not really that forceful, just mildly competitive, as we all want the best for our children in a world where future opportunities for our offspring are diminishing faster than they are opening up. It’s healthy to push our children to some extent to try as many things as possible and recognise what they are good at or interested in sooner rather than later. The classic extramural schedule of one musical instrument, one language, one sport and one of the arts is designed to provide a fully-rounded learning experience, leading to a well-balanced personality.

Problems only arise when the child is expected, or pushed, to do too many extra pursuits in one evening or afternoon. You can overdo it, but you know your child and should be perceptible to whether or not they are coping with their workload. If not, lose one or two activities. Research shows time and again that you don’t learn a darn thing when you are tired.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

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PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

hey, stop pushing!

pregnancy news

perfect timing You’re emotionally ready for a baby, but how do you know if it’s the right time to fall pregnant? LUCILLE KEMP considers the options.

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octors recommend that you start preconception care four months prior to trying to fall pregnant.

This may include lifestyle changes, the taking of nutritional supplements such as folic acid, blood tests, iron level checks, a urine test, a pap smear, a blood pressure test and even a dental checkup. Men are also advised to do their bit, by cutting down on alcohol consumption, taking vitamins and avoiding saunas and restrictive underwear.

Medical advice is that you should wait at least six months, but preferably longer, after giving birth before trying for the next one.

ILLUSTRATIONS: shutterstock.com

what is your ideal age?

Becoming a mom in your twenties, thirties or forties – each age group has its advantages and risks. While you may be at your most fertile in your early twenties, you are not necessarily financially stable or established yet. Once Alex Wall, 26-year-old mom to two daughters, found out she was pregnant she prepared by joining a good medical aid.

“We also started putting money away as I wanted to be at home with the baby for longer than three months.”

The risks of miscarriage, Down’s syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities at this age are relatively low, but they increase gradually until the age of 35 when doctors will recommend various tests, including an

magazine durban

amniocentesis, to help detect any possible defects. Nancy Kerr, 37-year-old Cape Town mother who had her daughter at 35 and son at 36, was conscious that her age would put her into a higher risk category. “It is one of the reasons I won’t have a third baby.”

planting the seed Science tells us that sperm carrying the Y chromosome has a high motility/speed and sperm carrying the X chromosome has a longer lifespan. Knowing this, your cycle and when you ovulate can help you to predict the sex of your baby. If you are hoping for a specific sex you can time intercourse with the help of an ovulation date planner and books such as How to Choose the Sex of your Baby: The Method Best Supported by Scientific Evidence (Random House).

conspiring in your favour You might want to time your pregnancy so that you are at your heaviest in a season that is comfortable for you.

Nancy battled through summer the first time round so she hoped for a winter pregnancy with her second baby.

“Unfortunately, I lucked out and was again at my biggest in the heart of summer, though I am glad as I did not have to struggle to keep a newborn warm and it was easier to get up at 3am.” Note that giving birth during a holiday period,

such as Christmas or Easter, is often less than ideal. Most hospitals operate with a skeleton staff and your gynae may be on holiday when you go into labour.

Extensive research has been done on the effect of the month in which a child is born. Children who are able to start school because of their birth dates may still be physically, emotionally and intellectually younger than their classmates. Parents have therefore become more mindful of when they send their child to school. Alex, who is also a teacher, thinks it’s a very important consideration. “I was born in December and had to repeat a grade in primary school; children born in November or December work at a slower pace and although it is a steady pace you will normally find a December child’s yearend evaluation will be the same as another child’s midyear evaluation.”

This developmental difference is such a prevalent issue that Southdowns College in Pretoria has created separate age groups for children born in the first half of the year and those in the second half of the year.

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best for baby

get those shots Put any qualms aside – the overwhelming evidence is that vaccinations are vital for your child’s health. By GLYNIS HORNING

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still remember tearing up in sympathy when my sons had their first vaccinations; their cheery, chubby faces crumpling with shock at the unexpected prick of the clinic sister’s needle. Yet it would never have occurred to me not to take them, or to skip any of the shots required by the Department of Health’s Expanded Programme of Immunisation (EPI). “Vaccinating your child means that their body is taught to recognise a pathogen and is able to defend itself against disease caused by it,” explains Professor Jeffrey Mphahlele, head of the South African Vaccination and Immunisation Centre (Savic) at the University of Limpopo’s Medunsa Campus in Pretoria. “Immunisation is one of the greatest breakthroughs in medical history and, according to the World Health Organisation, saves three million lives a year.”

journal The Lancet, and the main author was dropped from the British General Medical Council because, among other things, he was found to have falsified his data and benefited financially from discrediting the MMR.”

have their child vaccinated. But despite this legal requirement, schools may not refuse to accept unvaccinated children, since vaccination is not compulsory.”

There is, however, a societal moral obligation to have it done, because the child who is not immunised poses a threat not only to themselves, but to others, he says. “Freeloading, the practice of avoiding vaccinations and depending instead on herd immunity, is not only immoral, it will eventually backfire on parents who do this because they are setting an example which others in their community may follow, resulting in low herd immunity and outbreaks.”

Burnett adds, “Unvaccinated children who are eligible for vaccination also pose a threat to those who can’t be vaccinated for various reasons, including being too young, or having a disease of the immune system that precludes them from vaccination. For example, many of the babies who got measles during the recent outbreak were younger than nine months, the age at which babies have their first measles vaccination.”

So what to do if to date you have not had your child vaccinated for any reason, or have failed to go for the booster shots needed to sustain adequate levels of protection against the disease? It’s never too late to start, Mphahlele says. “And if the child has had some shots, there’s no need to restart the series. Just continue where you left off.”

Immunisation is one of the greatest breakthroughs in medical history and, according to the World Health Organisation, saves three million lives a year.

So why are some mothers remiss in having it done? “Many factors contribute,” says Mphahlele, citing an article that appeared recently in the journal Vaccine. They range from missed vaccination opportunities to incorrect information provided by clinic staff, unavailability of vaccines and difficulties accessing clinics. “Anti-vaccination lobbyists who argue that vaccinations are unsafe may also have influenced mothers to not vaccinate children,” adds Rosemary Burnett, senior lecturer in epidemiology in the Department of Public Health at the University of Limpopo, and one of the authors of the study.

These lobbyists’ most widely publicised argument in recent years has been that there is a link between MMR, a combination vaccine for measles, mumps and rubella, available in the private sector in South Africa, and autism. But this was based on a study of just 12 autistic children with no control group, says Burnett, and many had signs and symptoms of autism before being vaccinated. “Subsequent controlled scientific studies on huge numbers of children have found no link. Ten of the 12 authors retracted their names from the article. It was withdrawn by the medical

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make an informed decision The choice is surely clear, but it is still your decision to make. “In South Africa, parents are required to submit proof of childhood vaccinations when they enrol their child in school,” says Mphahlele. “If there’s no documentation, school principals are legally obliged to refer the parents to the clinic to

calling the shots Diseases for which vaccines are available in the routine EPI programme are tuberculosis, poliomyelitis, diphtheria, pertussis or whooping cough, tetanus, measles, haemophilus influenza infections such as pneumonia and meningitis, hepatitis B, pneumococcal disease, and rotaviral enteritis, a severe and dehydrating form of diarrhoea. Ask about these at your clinic.

For the schedule, visit childmag.co.za/content/ immunisation-schedule

Diseases for which vaccines are currently licensed and available in the private sector as part of the routine immunisation programme are rubella or German measles, varicella (chickenpox), hepatitis A, influenza, mumps and human papilloma virus infection, which is associated with about 60 percent of cervical cancer cases.

Ask your doctor about these.

Diseases for which vaccines are given only in special situations or for travelling are anthrax, cholera, hepatitis A, meningococcal disease, rabies, tick-borne encephalitis, typhoid fever, yellow fever and Japanese encephalitis. Ask your doctor or travel doctor about them. magazine durban

ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

weigh up the risks

Others of the anti-vaccination brigade, including a dear misguided friend of mine, argue that multiple simultaneous vaccines can overwhelm a young child’s immature immune system and cause disease and conditions including autism. But Mphahlele and Burnett, and her research colleagues, report that there is absolutely no scientific evidence to support this. My friend eventually took her three children for vaccinations when they reached preschool age, but only because the head of the school she fancied insisted on it.

Burnett and her colleagues also point out that the diseases that vaccines prevent can have serious complications, and they were common before vaccination was introduced. Any effects that may occur after immunisation are mostly mild; involving redness, tenderness or mild fever, and they’re usually short-lived, with only one per several thousands or millions being serious, she says. So for example, a child’s risk of a severe reaction to the measles vaccination is one in one million, while having measles carries a one in 20 risk of pneumonia, a one in 2 000 risk of encephalitis, a one in 3 000 risk of death in industrialised countries, and, alarmingly, a one in five chance of death in developing countries such as ours.

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February 2013

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dealing with difference

ADHD’s diagnostic dilemma In his book, What’s the fuss about ADHD?, child psychiatrist BRENDAN BELSHAM advises parents to get a proper diagnosis for this complex condition.

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he teacher reports that your child is underachieving in the classroom, and suggests an assessment.

Like any parent, you will probably respond emotionally. After all, we don’t enjoy receiving criticism about our children, however well-intentioned. It is natural to go on the defensive, and parents often begin by blaming either the teacher or the school. Sometimes feedback about our children awakens issues which we experienced years ago in the classroom.

As a practitioner, I have often found myself caught in the middle of a teacher’s concerns and a parent’s denial. Indeed, many families come to see me under duress, having been issued a thinly-veiled ultimatum to have their child assessed, “or else”. This is a far from ideal beginning for a doctor-patient relationship, and I often have to spend a large chunk of

2 a neurodevelopmental paediatrician, with a

special interest in ADHD; or 3 a paediatric neurologist, with expertise in

childhood neurology.

For completeness, one should probably also include the general paediatrician and family doctor, although you must do your homework because not all generalists have expertise with this condition. But, in our context of scarce resources, it is only pragmatic that some of the load should be shared by general practitioners.

the appropriate test Many parents are referred specifically to a neurologist because the teacher feels they need to have an electroencephalogram, or EEG, a procedure which records the electrical activity of the brain. However, I must emphasise that you cannot diagnose ADHD with an EEG. Anyone who tells you

the first consultation easing this tense situation. But it doesn’t have to be this way. How the teacher approaches you as a parent can facilitate the process.

There is a world of difference between “I think Johnny should go onto Ritalin” and “I have noticed that Johnny often daydreams in class and doesn’t finish his work. How about we ask a specialist to look into this?” I know which approach I would prefer.

who does the diagnosing?

Parents are often unsure about this, as there are at least three different medical specialists to whom you might be referred.

Schools often refer to these specialists somewhat interchangeably and randomly, further compounding parents’ confusion.

The truth is any of the following doctors would be appropriate: 1 a child and adolescent psychiatrist who has specialised in children’s conditions;

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otherwise is either deluded or practising quackery. There is certainly a place for the EEG, for example if it is suspected that the child has absence or petit mal seizures, a type of epilepsy in which the brain “switches off” for short periods of time. In such instances the EEG is an appropriate diagnostic test. But don’t let anyone tell you that your child has to have an EEG, including the latest fad, the quantitative EEG, known as the qEEG, in order to diagnose the condition.

There is something vaguely unsatisfactory about not having a scientific test to diagnose a condition, which no doubt contributes to the proliferation of gimmicks such as the qEEG, but unfortunately that is where we stand. A diagnosis involves a checklist of symptoms which should be evident in the child and that should be causing significant impairment in his or her daily functioning. The latter is particularly important as it guards us against overmagazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

There is something vaguely unsatisfactory about not having a scientific test to diagnose a condition…

diagnosing the condition – we call this “false positives” – or worse, degenerating into perilous cosmetic pharmacology.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM IV, published by the American Psychiatric Association and now in its fourth edition, is the “bible” of psychiatric disorders. It records the diagnostic rules for any condition you care to mention. In the section describing childhood conditions, you will find that the symptoms of ADHD are divided into three clusters: inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.

problem is not necessarily an absolute inability to concentrate, as it is an avoidance of tasks that don’t stimulate or are boring.

This has to do with the executive system of the brain, which governs higher functions such as prioritising, delay of gratification and time management.

DSM IV has decreed that a child should display at least six of these nine symptoms to warrant the ADHD diagnosis. There is nothing magical in this particular threshold, and good studies have shown that children with only four or five symptoms may be as impaired as children with seven or eight criteria.

inattention:

hyperactivity:

1 an abnormally short concentration span;

1 constantly on the go, “as if driven by

the DSM IV

2 a frequent resistance to sustained

mental effort, especially with boring or repetitive tasks; 3 easy distractibility; 4 marked forgetfulness; 5 a tendency to lose things frequently; 6 difficulty organising tasks, poor planning; 7 not listening properly to instructions; 8 a tendency to rush work, poor attention to detail, frequent careless mistakes; and 9 inability to complete tasks.

Most of these symptoms are selfexplanatory, but it is true that a child with ADHD may concentrate very well in certain situations, even too well at times. It is known that such children often “hyperfocus” on certain tasks, to the exclusion of other, more important or relevant activities. The

2 3 4 5 6

a motor”; runs about or climbs excessively; restless, unable to stay seated; fidgets excessively; excessively talkative; and plays loudly.

impulsivity: 7 often interrupts or intrudes on others; 8 cannot wait his or her turn; and 9 blurts out answers before the question

is completed.

In assessing these criteria, the doctor should directly observe the child in the consulting room, usually involving some form of structured activity such as drawing or writing. It is also very important to interview the child directly.

Dr Brendan Belsham has been in private practice as a child psychiatrist for more than 12 years. What’s the fuss about ADHD? (CreateSpace), explores the controversies surrounding this frequently diagnosed condition. It has been written mainly for parents who want the disorder, as well as its diagnosis, possible causes and treatment, explained in an accessible manner. He also discusses the safety of the medications commonly prescribed. To order a copy of the book, email bcbelsham@telkomsa.net or visit drbelsham.com

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your child’s life

cover story Understanding how the modelling or acting industry works will go a long way to protecting your child, says Jennifer Stastny.

step 1: spawn an extrovert; preferably one that’s attractive Don’t think that sticking a camera in the face of your quiet seven year old will help her blossom. The most likely outcome of such an approach will be tears – the photographer’s, after that camera is thrown at the nearest wall. “Shy, introverted children generally don’t enjoy modelling or acting, and are also less successful,” says Nicky Greyling of Kool Kids Casting Club in Cape Town.

“This industry is best suited to children who have an outgoing personality and are confident.”

Insider’s tip: Casting agencies need people of all ages on their books. However, it’s probably best to consider your child’s age when deciding to join one. Older babies and toddlers don’t usually take direction well. You’re better off trying to teach a fish to canoe than trying to get your two year old to sit still and look at the birdie. “It gets a little easier after the age of three or four,” says Justine Leary, whose sons Troy, six, and Seth, two, have featured in a number of local and international print and television campaigns. “Before then, you’ll spend a lot of time vying for your child’s attention and keeping them away from the equipment.”

step 2: register with a reputable agency Find an agency that belongs to the National Association of Model Agencies (Nama), the Official South African Casting Association (Oscasa) or one that has a proven track record. “If you have to, check the company’s registration documents to make sure they’ve been around a while,” advises Linsay Shuttleworth of Topco Models.

“We’ve seen many fly-by-night operations close and the parents never see their money.” You’re also entitled to ask for references, adds Nicky.

Once you’ve found a legitimate agency, it’s simply a question of filling in some forms and having a few professional photographs taken of your future face of Baby Gap. For babies under six months, most agents will also accept a supplied photo. The registration process will take an hour or two and shouldn’t cost you more than R500, including the cost of the photographer. Remember to bring your child’s birth certificate as your agency’s client will need to use it when applying for permits; a legal requirement for every shoot involving a child (see “law and order”).

Insider’s tip: This is the point where you settle on the agency’s commission. “Local agencies typically charge 20 percent of the child’s earnings. For international agencies,

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that could go up to 30 percent,” says Linsay. Once your child has been cast, his income will depend on the type of job and whether he features in the final campaign. As a rule, stills or photographic shoots pay less than television commercials, but then they also require more time on set.

Michelle Danner, a Hollywood film and casting director and acting coach for A-list actors, says, “Like everything else that pertains to the child, there is due diligence to find the right agent. It’s okay to interview the agent as well, and ask questions in terms of what they’re going to do for your child.” Michelle is in South Africa this month to work with aspiring actors.

Make it clear to your child that if he isn’t chosen, it’s not because he is not good-looking enough or clever enough. Casting directors have very specific ideas on the look and type of performance they want for just that one shoot. step 3: be there to take the call and go to the casting Now, you sit tight. At this point, your child is one of many on the agent’s books, waiting for a brief that calls for a child of just her gender, age and look. When that call comes, be prepared to change your plans on short notice.

Insider’s tip: A good casting agency takes care to match the face to the brief rather than throwing everyone on their books at a casting. It’s also important to manage your child’s expectations. “It can be disappointing to get excited about a casting but not get the job,” says Daniel

Coetzee, 12, who has been in front of cameras since he was 10. Nicky agrees, adding that parents should try to avoid building up their child’s expectations. “Make it clear to your child that if he isn’t chosen, it’s not because he is not good-looking enough or clever enough,” she says.

“Casting directors have very specific ideas on the look and type of performance they want for just that one shoot. The next one will be totally different.”

step 4: work it, baby The Cutest Moppet in the World has finally landed her first commercial. You wake up at 5am to get to the film location, an hour out of town, by 6:30am and arrive just in time for a great flurry of… nothing. Film and photo shoots tend to involve a lot of hurry-up-and-wait, which can be frustrating for first-timers and little ones. Although child labour laws state that children under 10 are not allowed to work more than three hours a day, and thereafter not more than four hours, they may still have to be on set from early in the morning until late afternoon. Fortunately, everyone knows an unhappy child is a stubborn child, so they

the industry works like this…

Duncan Rice, of the Helen O’Grady Drama Academy, says casting directors or advertising companies will contact a casting agency or model agency with a profile of what they want. The agency will send photos of children on their books who match the profile. If the actor or model is chosen, the agency will contact their parents to advise how much the child will earn, less their commission.

If there is agreement, the casting agency will sign the actor’s contract.

Some agencies may charge a yearly administration fee to have a child’s profile on their website or to take photographs. Be aware, however, of excessive fees as these could be a scam. There is no need to pay to attend any casting. “The golden rule for casting and model agencies is that you should not have to pay any money upfront.”

Read the contract carefully before signing your child, and do your homework. You should find information about the agency on the internet if it’s a scam, for example. Promises of fame and fortune are generally unrealistic. Trust your gut and don’t be hoodwinked by flattery.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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ou see the child on the cover of this magazine and think “so sweet”. Of course your little one is cuter, even if you say so yourself. So why isn’t she on the cover?

She could be. She could also be the cute child with the miniAfro who struts her stuff in that television ad for nappies. To make the leap from doting mom to mom-slash-manager of the next baby Heidi Klum, you will need to summon up some time (yours), patience (yours again) and willingness (your child’s). Then it’s a case of following these six steps.

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February 2013

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your child’s life

go to great lengths to ensure that little ones are kept well fed and happy. “A day on set includes all meals. And each child is assigned a crew member who keeps them entertained and makes sure they get their make-up done and know where to go,” says Justine. “My six year old is so comfortable with the whole business by now that I just stand back and let them take care of him.”

Insider’s tip: “Make sure your child gets a good night’s rest before a shoot. Tired children tend to be uncooperative on set,” says Linsay. “And be sure to bring their favourite toys, blankets and drinks along.”

It’s important that you, as the parent, find the right balance between being there for your child and getting out of the way so that the director and photographer can do their jobs. “Sometimes I can see that Troy needs a little time to warm up to the environment.

Then I step back and let him settle,” says Justine. “However, there was one job when I thought the producer kept him working too long, so I called my agents. They put a stop to it immediately.”

step 5: pace yourself for payment After all the deadline-driven casting and shooting, you’ll have to wait a good few weeks, sometimes months, before your

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child receives final payment – and even then you won’t be certain of how much the full amount will be until it arrives. This is because payment generally consists of two parts: a guaranteed fee for the time spent on set, which is usually a flat day or half-day rate, plus an additional usage fee if your child features in the final campaign.

It is quite possible, especially in television commercials, for your child to be edited out of the final cut. In this case, you will only be paid the guaranteed flat fee.

Insider’s tip: Brush up your tax knowledge. Like every other working Joey, child actors and models have to pay PAYE, so you will need an income tax number for your child. The agency will deduct this tax, plus its fee, before handing over final payment. Depending on your child’s annual earnings, you will be able to claim a portion of this tax back when you submit his or her annual tax return.

step 6: rinse and repeat The film and modelling industry is very reputation-driven, and child stars are no different. If your child enjoys what he is doing and is good in front of the camera, and if you have the time and patience to take him to castings and shoots, usually on short notice, word will spread and job offers will follow. Earning their own money

is also a boon, and a learning opportunity.

“Daniel has opened his own bank account and looks after the money he has earned.

That’s a wonderful thing, especially at 12 years of age,” says his mother, Janine.

Insider’s tip: Children’s interests change, and the day may come when your little Brad Pitt becomes more interested in computer games than getting his hair slicked back for a shoot. When that happens, let him bow out without a fight.

“I told my son from the beginning that

this is a great opportunity for him, but if he didn’t enjoy it I would honour that and withdraw him from the agency’s books,” says Grace Adair, whose son Joshua, 14, has been performing since he was 12.

“Life is about learning and having fun.

Give your child the freedom to love what he does and do what he loves.” Michelle says, “The world of show business can be very cold. Very early on I would have the child understand that they are valuable for who they are, not for booking a part.”

law and order The performing arts is one of the few exceptions to the general prohibition on employing children under the age of 15. However, the employer must apply for a permit to do so, and will not receive one if he or she has been convicted of a crime against a child. There are some strict rules around working conditions.

• Children under 10 should not work more than three hours a day, or four hours a day for over 10s.

• Children under 10 can’t be expected to be on set for longer than eight hours a day, or 10 hours for over 10s.

• Children under 10 must get a half-hour break after 90 minutes of work, or after two hours of work for over 10s.

• Children can’t be expected to perform at night, after 10pm and before 5am, more than three times a week.

• There must be a safe recreational area where children can rest and play.

• Parents must be allowed within sight and sound of their children at all times.

• No child should be exposed to physical or emotional danger as a result of the performance, based on either the child or the parent’s assessment of the situation.

Source: Department of Labour’s “Sectoral Determination 10 for Children in the Performance of Advertising, Artistic and Cultural Activities”

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dad’s blog

the nappy run Modern dads are doing diapers, and more, observes

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MARC DE CHAZAL, who (thankfully) hung up his nappy bag a good few years ago.

appies, I’m happy to say, are a thing of the past in my life. However, I was inadvertently dragged down memory lane at a recent event for dads. The majority of fathers sitting around the breakfast table have children who are either still in nappies or have recently been potty trained, so there was a lot of talk about the challenges of this stage of parenthood.

Here’s what I found interesting: these rugby-watching, golf-playing dudes spoke about nappies, because they have actually changed a revolting, gag-inducing diaper. And they are keen to tell the tale, as every heroic survivor of a life-threatening situation is wont to do. I’m sure they’d rather be swinging a golf club any day than slinging a smelly diaper into the refuse bin, but their stories are proof that fathers have evolved.

Sure, they tend to approach the whole nappy thing like businessmen who can tell you what each one costs and how this fits into their family budget, but they’re

emotionally in tune as well. They clearly understand that changing a child’s nappy is not merely a disgusting necessity to alleviate discomfort; it’s also a practical way to actively support their partners. It should be a partnership, after all, even if mothers are the ones sending fathers out to dutifully hunt down the last pack of the latest, fanciest slip-on nappy that can soak up a lake without leaking so the little chap can hopefully sleep through the night.

It’s harder than it sounds – you need to come home with the right nappy for the right age and weight. Science is involved.

How I kept my breakfast down after all this talk of disposable versus cloth nappies remains a mystery, but I’m glad to know that there are fathers out there changing nappies, occasionally waking up at night to feed a hungry baby, and being honest about the hard slog of raising children. Maybe fathers could be doing even more around the house, but diaper slinging is a good start.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Maybe fathers could be doing even more around the house, but diaper slinging is a good start.

magazine durban

Read more of Marc’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za/dad-blog

February 2013

15

education

education 101 Changes to the curriculum make it difficult to keep up with the new terminology our schools use. MICHELLE JONES helps us make sense of it all.

for parents to keep up with the new terms and concepts being used. For example, is your child a pupil in Standard 3 being taught by a teacher, or a learner in Grade 5 taught by an educator?

who’s who Learner refers to a child who attends school.

Educator is the person in front of the classroom, formerly known as a teacher.

Public schools are managed and funded by the Department of Basic Education.

Independent schools were previously known as private schools and are privately governed. They operate according to their own regulations and do not receive government funding.

grades The grades and phases of education are broken up as follows: Grade RR The year before Grade R. Children should be three turning four in this year.

Grade R This reception year before a learner starts Grade 1 is now compulsory for all learners.

Foundation Phase Grades R to 3.

Intermediate Phase Grades 4 to 6.

Senior Phase Grades 7 to 9.

Further Education and Training Phase Grades 10 to 12.

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new curriculum Curriculum and Assessment Policy Statements (Caps) provide an in-depth guide for teachers to plan their time and structure lessons, and detail what work they are expected to cover each term. The statements also list which textbooks, workbooks and other media should be used.

Every subject in each grade has a single, comprehensive and concise Caps document that will provide details on what educators ought to teach and assess on a grade-bygrade and subject-by-subject basis.

The implementation of Caps began in 2011 and is to continue until 2014.

It has already been introduced in

Grades R to 3, and in Grade 10.

This year, it will be introduced in Grades 4 to 9 and Grade 11. The number of subjects in Grades 4 to 6 will be reduced from eight to six.

Caps will be introduced in Grade 12 in 2014. It is not a new curriculum, but an amendment to the National Curriculum Statement.

The National Development Plan aims to eliminate poverty and reduce inequality by 2030, and it includes the goal that all South Africans should have access to education and training of the highest quality, leading to significantly improved learning outcomes.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

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chooling in South Africa is undergoing a transition with the Department of Basic Education midway through the implementation of a revised curriculum. Basic Education Minister Angie Motshekga says the priority of the department is to bring about fundamental changes in schooling outcomes. The comprehensive turnaround plan for schools is called Action Plan to 2014, which forms part of a larger vision called Schooling 2025.

This covers all aspects of education, including teacher recruitment, learner enrolment, literacy and numeracy and the overall quality of education. As these changes are introduced, it can be difficult

first day of school Grade R The child should be four years old turning five by 30 June in the year of admission. Panyaza Lesufi, spokesman for the Basic Education Department, says that education officials are on hand to ensure that children of school-going age are in school.

“Any child who has not been admitted at a school should contact the nearest district office for placement. Each district office has dedicated officials to monitor and enforce departmental admission policies as well as the placement of learners in schools.”

Grade 1 The age of a child starting Grade 1 is five turning six by 30 June in the year of admission. A child can also be six, turning seven, which is the latest age at which a child may start school, according to the SA Schools Act. School is compulsory for children between the ages of seven and 15.

Admissions Each province, and every school, is able to determine their own admissions policy in line with national policies. This means that schools are able to set out, based on their resources and capacity, whether learners will only be accepted from certain areas and how to choose which learners to accept. Lesufi says, “Schools’ governing bodies develop their own admission policies in line with the provincial regulations. The school’s admission policy must be ratified by the department to ensure compliance with both the provincial and national policy.”

Parents are encouraged to apply to more than one school as it is often unlikely their child will be accepted by their first choice. The SA Schools Act says public schools may not charge a registration fee, a deposit, readmission or preadmission fees, or any other fees, at the time of application.

When you apply for a school, you need to supply a copy of your child’s ID and immunisation card.

Feeder zones The use of feeder zones, which limits admission to learners living within a certain radius of the school, is

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becomingly increasingly rare. Some schools in Gauteng have feeder zones, so if a parent’s home or work address is within a 5km radius of the school their child’s name will be added to waiting list A. In terms of the Gauteng Department of Education’s admissions policy, those who live or work outside this feeder zone, will have their names placed on waiting list B. KwaZulu-Natal Department of Education head Nkosinathi Sishi, sent a circular to officials, principals and governing bodies last year saying that schools’ admissions policies for 2013 would not be determined by feeder zones.

Western Cape schools may in terms of their own admissions policy indicate areas from which children can be accepted, although feeder zones are not determined by provincial policy.

Siblings Having a brother or sister in a school won’t guarantee admission for the next sibling that applies. “This issue is not in the national or provincial policy, but some school governing bodies have included it in their admission policies to assist parents in transporting their children to a single school rather than driving from school to school. Other schools do not prioritise the issue of siblings,” says Lesufi.

Refusal of admission The national admission policy is clear that the only reason to refuse the admission of a learner is when the school is full. “The principal of the school is expected to provide parents with written reasons if a learner cannot be admitted. Parents can apply to the provincial education minister if they are not satisfied with the reason provided by the school for the nonadmission of a learner.” This issue hit the headlines last year when Rivonia Primary School principal Carol Drysdale was charged with misconduct and insubordination for refusing to enrol a Grade 1 learner. The Supreme Court of Appeal ruled in favour of the school’s governing body, saying that the provincial education department

did not have the authority to override their decision on the number of learners the school could admit.

Applications Enrolments for the next year begin in March in the Western Cape and in May for Gauteng. Parents in KwaZuluNatal can apply in August.

other changes • Common Task Assessments (CTAs) came to an end for Grade 9 learners.

• There has been a reduction in the number of projects for learners and the removal of the requirement for portfolio files of learner assessments.

Learners, from the foundation phase,

ANA 2012 numeracy and literacy tests for Grades 1 to 6 and Grade 9.

What the tests revealed:

7 million the number of learners that wrote the ANA 2012

2 percent the number of Grade 9s who scored more than 50 percent for their numeracy/mathematics test

Basic Education Minister Angie Motshekga says the ANA helps parents gauge how well their schools are performing and advises teachers of potential weaknesses in their class.

are able to learn in their mother tongue.

The department began the process of distributing literacy and numeracy workbooks to all learners from Grades 1 to 6. Each book contains 128 worksheets and students are encouraged to take the books home so parents can be involved in their children’s learning. By the end of each school year learners will have four workbooks, two for mathematics and two for language, which they will be able to use to keep track of their progress.

• The annual national assessments (ANA), tests which assess learners’ knowledge in maths and literacy, were implemented for the first time in 2011.

in the classroom The revised curriculum means that the subjects learners need to cover in the classroom will be different. From 2013 the following subjects will be offered in the intermediate phase: • a home language • first additional language • mathematics • life skills • natural sciences and technology • social studies and in the senior phase: • languages • mathematics • natural sciences • life orientation • social studies • technology • arts and culture • economic and management sciences

February 2013

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straight up

positively single Parenting alone is challenging, so make sure you surround yourself with supportive people. By HELENA KINGWILL

the singles’ club This may be why Donna Smith, a single mother from Cape Town, moved away from a group of other single moms she met in a corridor when she realised that they were caught up in complaining about their lives. Celebrated author Eckhart Tolle names this phenomenon “the pain-body” in his book, A New Earth – Awakening to your Life’s Purpose (Plume Books).

The pain-body is the emotionally-charged

energy field one carries that is activated when something has hurt or upset you.

When two or more people with a pronounced pain-body get together, this energy field becomes more powerful. The huddle of single moms Donna encountered seemed intriguing until she sensed that towering above them was the spectre of their collective pain-body. Donna knew that her equilibrium would have been disturbed had she joined the conversation, and she didn’t want to go there. Toll’s advice is to observe these things, and be aware of oneself and one’s reaction to them, so as not to be too drawn in emotionally.

Thelma Price, a mother of two from Cape Town, has married twice and is again single after experiencing both divorce and the death of her spouse. She says the worst part is feeling unacknowledged for the enormous amount of work one has to do as a single parent. Then there is the struggle with one’s own emotional burdens of grief and disappointment and, in the case of divorce, the awful feeling of having been rejected as a person. She joined a women’s support group to find guidance, but soon left. “The women were fuelling

survival kit for single moms (and dads) • F orgive and let go of anger and blame towards your ex. It doesn’t serve you; it just keeps you trapped in negativity and pain and jeopardises your children’s relationship with their other parent.

• Don’t sweat the small stuff – prioritise happy children over a perfectly tidy home.

• Be organised and plan ahead. Preparing lunchboxes and clothes for school the night before may help prevent panic in the morning. Cook and freeze food ahead for evening mealtimes, or shop online for ready-made evening meals, which may be a lifesaver when you are too tired to cook.

• Be realistic about how much you can take on and don’t over-commit.

• Get over the guilt factor. Your child will notice if you constantly feel you have to compensate for the other parent’s absence, and will use it as leverage to manipulate you. For example, if you’re a mom and have a son, find him a male mentor you approve of and send them camping, especially if he is in his teens.

• Save money where you can: change to a cheaper moisturiser, downscale your DStv or cellphone contract. Good financial planning is the path to true independence and liberation.

• Find your new tribe. Make a conscious effort to create a community of people who can relate to your situation, and make them your new family. It takes a village to raise a child.

• When you decide to start dating, avoid bringing a new man into your home until you are really sure he is for keeps. This is a hard lesson to learn. Your children want constancy and security, not to be casting agents for the new “dad” character in their movie.

• Don’t try to be a supermom. Be honest about the help you need and don’t be afraid to ask for it.

• A hobby or a special interest that allows you to express yourself creatively can be an excellent outlet and can even potentially generate a second income.

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If you behave like a victim, you will not only become a victim of your circumstances, but so will your children. each other’s anger at their ex-husbands. It seems to be an easy trap to fall into.”

Ronnel Rothschild of Cape Town, who has raised her son alone for most of seven years, says, “Although support groups provide a safe space, separate from society, where the common issue is being a single parent, these dynamics make it easy for them to turn into whinge clubs, unless they are well facilitated. Therapy is ideal, if you can afford it.” She advises single parents to enjoy their free time doing something positive, rather than spending it complaining about the difficulty of their situation.

a societal norm According to Statistics SA, only one third of South African children live with both parents. Although a third of these are left with grandparents, the rest usually end up with their mothers. Despite the fact that it is such a common modern phenomenon, single mothers are still not given much social or physical support by the system.

Loneliness can be one of the greatest stumbling blocks for a single mother trying to maintain a positive attitude. “You have to do everything on your own, as there is one less set of hands,” says Marana Bosazza, a mother of four who single-handedly runs an organic vegetable farm and food gardens at schools in the Ciskei. She has been a single mother for seven years. “Single dads go through the same thing. It’s a problem caused by the modern nuclear family.”

Traditional African tribal society is probably the most forgiving environment to be a single parent in, as childcare is shared communally. Marana suggests sharing households with another single parent. “If you both have children, you can help each other and it’s a great way of finding support, short of staying with family.”

She admits that single parenting can be relentless. “Burnout is a common problem.” She advises other single parents to get enough sleep and go for regular massages. “Stressed people need to be touched. The stressed single parent doesn’t necessarily get physical touch except with their children. Then they take out their stress on their children. So you must have a physical outlet.”

In spite of all this, Marana has no regrets. “Getting divorced was the best thing I have ever done. I am a whole person now. Seven years ago, I hardly knew who I was. Now I am completely transformed. I even look different.”

When you start looking, there are plenty of upsides to being a single mom.

Ronnel says she is relieved to not have to split her time and energy between her child and her partner. She also doesn’t have to consult someone about decisions.

“Being married doesn’t necessarily mean one has more help. Many fathers are absent,” she points out. “I am so grateful to have my son in my life that I never feel hard done by.” magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

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he fear of having to raise children alone is probably as ancient as marriage itself. All through history a woman who is widowed or divorced has faced the risk of discrimination, isolation and poverty. Today, being a single parent is not unusual, but the historical stigma still hovers like a dark cloud. Even with modern conveniences, it’s tough to parent alone. But, as with other challenges, the outcome of your situation is determined by your mental attitude. If you behave like a victim, you will not only become a victim of your circumstances, but so will your children. It is essential that you maintain a positive attitude and get the help you need.

education

so, you should know…

Undercover and in for the truth, CHRISTINA CASTLE gets the low-down on exactly what teachers wish they

PHOTOGRAPH AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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could tell you straight to your face.

ometimes I wish I could be a fly on the wall of the staffroom at my sons’ school. I would just love to know exactly what these teachers really think.

So I sent an email to three very different teachers, at three very different schools around the country in the hope that they could get their staffrooms talking and, in turn, spill the beans. Anonymously, of course. And what came back was brutally honest. So parents, it’s time to face the music. These are the not-so-secret seven things teachers wish they could tell you – no holds barred.

Stop putting so much pressure on your child to perform.

Be realistic about your child’s abilities – in the classroom and on the sports field.

Today’s parents are highly competitive and expect unrealistic greatness from their

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children. It’s not about being the best. It’s about doing their best. In fact, failing is just part of life’s journey.

at home, interest in what your child is learning and a signature in the homework book each evening.

Do you know how hard we actually work?

You’ve counted just how many weeks make up the school holidays and you’ve noted that school finishes around about mid afternoon. Bit of a cushy job. What many parents don’t take into consideration are the hours of lesson preparation that go on behind the scenes (no, teachers don’t just stand up in front of a class and wing it) and all the extracurricula commitments

Give your child the independence they need to learn.

While some parents need to be encouraged to participate more in their child’s education, others need to be told to back off a little. Letting go is tough, but in order for your child to learn, they need to stand on their own two feet, make mistakes and operate independently.

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they sign up for or have assigned to them.

Be more involved in your child’s learning process.

While the teacher is a vital component, the role of the parent is to provide support

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4

Discipline and manners should be taught at home.

And supported at school. Parents are often not able to spend enough time with their children, they have abdicated their responsibility to discipline and to teach manners to the teachers.

5

Do not drop off your child late.

It is the responsibility of the parents to get the child to school on time. Essentially, lateness shows a lack of respect for the child, those around them and the school.

The child generally takes the rap and may miss out on important information or a new concept that is often shared first thing in the morning or at the beginning of a class.

Catching up on this is tough for even the most tuned in, assertive learner.

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Take ownership – stop blaming.

Teachers are not miracle workers.

There is only so much they can do. We all expect good results, but when hard work is not put in from all involved, then good results cannot be expected. Teach your child to take responsibility for his work and his property. It’s a lesson he will carry with him for life.

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February 2013

19

health

break the cycle Daycare may be a hotbed for germs and infections, so make sure your child has a fighting chance. By KIM MAXWELL

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recently visited a crèche in my neighbourhood, with my husband in tow. We were investigating daycare options for our two year old. It was within walking distance of our home and the group was small with the emphasis on play.

I’d heard great reports from other parents about its firm but loving environment, yet first impressions put me off. Three children under the age of four had snotty noses and, after we’d looked around for 10 minutes, no one had arrived with tissues to sort out the problem.

children have constantly runny noses; it’s usually clear, sometimes with a mild fever attached. There may be coughing from a postnasal drip. With crèche syndrome it’s about the continuous virus load, one after another, that wears down their health,” she says.

Sometimes it’s difficult to distinguish between crèche syndrome, which is spread through sick children rubbing their noses and then touching their friends and their toys, and allergies caused by pollen or pets. “By the time the virus

not child’s play Crèche syndrome refers to an ongoing cycle of colds, sniffles and more serious illnesses when young children are infected at a crèche or playgroup where they come into contact with other children on a daily basis. After repeated infections their immune systems become compromised. Cape Town paediatrician Dr Hanneke Heyns says crèche syndrome strikes from eight or nine months old, when some babies start daycare, and is prevalent among toddlers. “These

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February 2013

has infected the first child and travelled through another 10 children at crèche, it reinfects the original child because its form has changed,” she adds.

What about the argument that children infected by germs develop necessary antibodies? Yes and no. Heyns says babies have no immunity at birth aside from their mother’s antibodies, which are transmitted via breast-feeding. Young children need contact with a certain amount of viruses so that if they catch a cold, their bodies can make antibodies to build resistance for a magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

I have a huge problem with the dishing out of antibiotics without a proven bacterial infection.

healthy immune system, which helps them get better quicker. But crèche syndrome doesn’t build enough resistance because of the unrelenting cycle of illness.

Antibiotics that are prescribed frequently and without justification compound the problem. Heyns says antibiotics are rarely the solution because most children’s infections are viral. “I have a huge problem with the dishing out of antibiotics without a proven bacterial infection. Antibiotics are not beneficial due to children’s immune systems being broken down and they have side effects such as teeth problems,” she cautions.

fight it with food Durban paediatric dietician Kerryn Gibson says good nutrition is essential in fighting crèche syndrome. After repeated bouts of illnesses many children battle to catch up the weight they lost. Georgina Crouth of Joburg put her daughter into crèche at four months old. Kalyn has been a poor eater since birth. Now almost two and a half years old, she’s tall for her age but generally underweight and has been

ill often. “Kalyn is always battling upper respiratory and ear infections, gastro and conjunctivitis. She’ll have a snotty nose and within a day or two it will be an infection requiring treatment by a doctor and usually antibiotics. Once she had gastro for four days and we just couldn’t get it under control,” says Georgina. “I’ve been fortunate to be allowed to work from home when she’s sick, and although not ideal for me, it’s better than some of Kalyn’s classmates whose working parents drop them off sick.”

Gibson says, “The problem is that many toddlers are fussy eaters and parents fall into the trap of feeding them something they know they’ll eat; often frozen and processed meals instead of nutritious foods. Their immune systems and gut health become impaired so they catch colds frequently and become constipated. This can spiral into a vicious cycle of eating less and catching more infections.” Parents of fussy eaters should examine their own eating habits as toddlers will mimic their behaviour. Setting mealtime boundaries is helpful.

immune-boosting eating Breakfast Toddlers should start the day with high-fibre unsweetened breakfast cereals or porridge with milk.

Lunchbox Ideas include sandwiches on brown or whole-wheat bread with chicken, tuna, cheese or peanut butter toppings.

Protein This is extremely important for a healthy immune system and children should eat fresh and preferably stewed, grilled, stir-fried or baked chicken, fish, red meat, lentils or legumes daily.

Fruit Whole fruit, fruity yoghurt and even drinking yoghurts make better lunchbox treats than biscuits, chips, chocolates and sweets. Aim for three to four portions of fruit and vegetables daily. The fruit and vegetable rule is the more colours the better: red, yellow, green and orange, and eat these fresh if possible.

Fruit can be frozen but not tinned. Only give dried fruit occasionally.

Added value “A general multivitamin for children younger than five can be beneficial, particularly if your child isn’t eating well. But it isn’t a fail-safe solution to avoid eating properly,” says paediatric dietician Kerryn Gibson. Look for a broad spectrum multivitamin with vitamins A, B, C, D, E and K, and minerals zinc and calcium.

your crèche syndrome checklist 1 Ask questions whenever antibiotics are prescribed. Colds, flu and gastro are caused by a virus, and antibiotics don’t kill a virus; they only kill bacteria. Viruses can cause throat and ear infections but bacterial infections play a bigger role.

2 Give your child an annual influenza vaccine, available from clinics and pharmacies, from the age of six months onwards. Influenza can be life-threatening.

3 Parents can only relieve the symptoms of crèche syndrome. If these danger signs are present, alert your doctor: persistent fever with a temperature above 38°C, fast breathing, a chesty cough and wheezing, green nasal mucus, diminished interest in eating and drinking, and vomiting.

4 Don’t dry out a runny nose. Use a salt-water nose spray to loosen the phlegm.

Steam and elevated sleeping also help. Healthy eating and removing a child from crèche for the duration of the illness will allow their immune system to properly recover.

magazine durban

February 2013

21

spotlight

when bullying goes viral The anonymity and accessibility of the internet has changed the tone

hen you give your child a cellphone or allow him onto the internet, you give him the opportunity to explore the online world and communicate with you and his friends. The statistics, however, also indicate that the second you put that smartphone in his hand, a whole new world of potential bullying, known as cyberbullying, opens up, and it doesn’t stop when you pick him up from school in the afternoon.

“Preliminary results indicate that while the number of bullying incidents remains high, cyberbullying is on the increase in South Africa and constitutes approximately one third of the total number of reported cases. Home is no longer a haven and cyberbullying among children is very much a problem in our society today,” says deputy headmaster at Western Province Preparatory School in Cape Town, Alister Payne, who has done extensive research on the topic.

the digital playground Cyberbullying can be defined as any behaviour perpetrated though electronic media which repeatedly communicates hostile or aggressive messages intended to inflict harm or cause discomfort. While the three main attributes of bullying are repetition, intention to do harm and an imbalance of

Due to disinhibition and the lack of immediate feedback, offenders are less likely to be aware of the damage being done and they don’t get to see the difference between funny and cruel,” he says. “With playground bullying, a bully sees his victim’s face, reaction and body language.”

Home is no longer a haven and cyberbullying among children is very much a problem in our society today.

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power, these lines can become blurred. Payne says the difference between a child being harassed and being bullied depends on the repetition. “A single once-off harassment action, such as posting a message on Facebook or a video clip on YouTube, can easily be copied, shared and distributed broadly, which then constitutes the repetitive element.

why it’s on the rise

In South Africa, with the vast majority of children and teenagers having access to cellphones, such cyberbullying happens on a daily basis. Payne’s research indicates there was no significant difference between time (duration) spent on the internet and cyber victimisation. There was however a statistical significance between frequency and cyber victimisation. The conclusion is that users that check communication frequently are at greater risk. Internet usage statistics show that of the 88 percent of pupils who own a cellphone, 82 percent have internet access via their phone, irrespective of whether they were from low-, middle- or high-income communities.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

w

of bullying, making it more insidious. By TORI HOFFMANN

“While cellphone ownership in 2009 was high, at about 90 percent, the ability to access the internet almost doubled by 2012 and this is where the problem comes in. Messages sent via WhatsApp or BBM have become the weapon of choice,” he says, adding that increasingly cheaper broadband in SA fuels the problem.

what’s in it for them?

Cyberbullies largely do what they do for revenge, entertainment, out of boredom and to get a reaction from their peers and whomever they are victimising. And they often suffer from very low self-esteem too. You’re a cyberbully if you post an embarrassing picture of someone on Facebook and watch it get shared; if you send a series of cruel messages or say something threatening via SMS or you upload an embarrassing or ugly video of someone on YouTube. If you do any of this anonymously, you’re most definitely cyberbullying. Children who might never be mean in the real world sometimes bully online because of the feeling of anonymity that the internet gives them.

What’s more, says Payne, is that anonymity also minimises the chances of being caught. Pupils who would not normally engage in traditional schoolyard bullying may be tempted to do so because of the anonymity.

“Cyberbullying is a crime of convenience,” he says, adding that preliminary results indicate that in a third of

magazine durban

reported cases of cyberbullying, the identity of the bully was unknown to the victim. In almost half the cases, the perpetrator/s are from the same school. That said, children often don’t even realise what they’re doing, and according to Heather Hansen from TeenWorx, a company offering antibullying and cybersafety workshops, it’s not always that the cyberbullying is necessarily intentional, but rather that they send SMSes and post things on Facebook without thinking. “We find that children don’t always think about the consequences of their actions. They get caught up in the moment, create a post, and the next thing they know it’s become viral. A lot of the time, they don’t do it to deliberately hurt someone,” she says.

“For example, they might make a ‘who’s hot’ list on Facebook, without realising that the person who doesn’t make the list will be completely devastated.”

target practice It’s not just high school children that are at risk. Grade 6s and 7s are definitely vulnerable and Payne’s research shows that the greatest frequency of victimisation occurs among 12 and 13 year olds. He adds that the results also indicate that girls are more likely to be victims than boys. As one would expect, many victims of traditional bullies are also victims of cyberbullying, and many cyberbullies are also traditional bullies. “However, a

37%

the number of South African children who have been cyberbullied – UNISA survey

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spotlight

number of traditional victims also tend to be perpetrators of cyber harassment, as they use the anonymity to retaliate,” he says.

signs and repercussions The victims of cyberbullying will suffer from many of the same effects as those who experience bullying on the playground or in the classroom: low selfesteem, frustration, anger, depression, loss of friends and exclusion from social activities. Other warning signs include falling behind in schoolwork or becoming very anxious. “If your child starts behaving differently, for example, not wanting to participate in her favourite sports, then

at school and at home. He may not like it, but he’ll thank you later.

“While some schools don’t allow smartphones in the classroom and are very strict about it, others do as they are used as research tools, so it’s a very grey area. You can, however, create a technology corner in the home and have a cut-off time,” he says. “Some families get their children to plug in their phones in the evening to charge. Don’t let them use it as an alarm clock; rather buy one.” Hansen agrees and urges parents not to let their children use their computers and laptops in their bedrooms. “Have them work in an open space and take away their devices at least an hour before bedtime,” she says.

Children who might never be mean in the real world sometimes bully online because of the feeling of anonymity that the internet gives them. something might well be up,” says Sandie Johnson of TeenWorx. “If you notice that your child has become angry or depressed, has unexpectedly stopped using his phone or computer, appears nervous or jumpy – especially if the phone beeps – is uneasy about answering the phone, has a sudden change in social behaviour or avoids discussions about online activities, these are all indicators of potential cyberbullying victimisation,” says Payne.

parental guidance is advised Your child may come to view his smartphone with mixed feelings, because as much as he loves having one, once he has it, “he’ll find that there is nowhere to hide”, says Payne. “In the past, home was a haven of protection, but now victims can be targeted anywhere and at any time.”

This is why you have to limit the amount of time that your child spends on his phone,

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“What the research shows is that one of the main reasons why your child might not tell you that he’s being bullied is because he’s scared you will take the phone away from him and he’ll lose his internet access, so you need to think carefully before you threaten to confiscate a phone entirely,” says Payne. In a worst-case scenario, take the phone away and provide a cheaper alternative where you can still insert a SIM card so that your child can communicate with you.

Be informed and maintain an open relationship with your child so that if he’s being bullied, he will tell you. “It’s also vital that parents investigate thoroughly, find out the identity of the person, keep evidence by never deleting, tell their child to stop responding and take action to become directly involved,” he says.

Lastly, Payne stresses that parents need to teach their children the difference between what’s funny and what’s cruel. “In magazine durban

some cases, it’s clear that the behaviour is intended to hurt. For example, if it’s anonymous, it smacks of the intention to do harm. However, in many cases children don’t realise that they are causing distress,” he says. In other words, the intended message can be misinterpreted because they lack the emotional maturity to interpret tone. The results, as we know, can sometimes be disastrous.

schools’ responsibility They should teach empathy, says Payne, as this is something that’s not easy to feel through a screen. Also, since Grade 6s and 7s may already have phones, it’s crucial that they are educated in antibullying. “What is of concern is the gap that exists between what preteens perceive as cyberbullying behaviour and the reported incidents of cyber victimisation. There are extensive traditional anti-bullying programmes in place, educating children, providing support and coping strategies, but these appear to be ineffective in combating cyberbullying,” he says. Johnson adds that children also need to be taught how to stand up for their friends and to speak up if they spot something offensive online.

for help at your fingertips: • Cybercrime is an awareness portal that provides access to relevant and trusted local and international resources. The site also features help for reporting suspected activities. Visit: cybercrime.org.za • The Centre for Justice and Crime Prevention is a Section 21 company that works to develop, inform and promote evidence-based crime prevention practice, with a particular focus on children and youth.

Contact: 021 447 1818 or visit cjcp.org.za • The Security Association of South Africa or The Private Security Industry Regulatory Authority will provide a list of legitimate private investigators to track sources of bullying. Contact: 031 764 6681 or 012 337 5530 • Eblockwatch might also assist you, and they have in the past traced and put a stop to cyberbullies through their extensive network. Visit: eblockwatch.co.za • SA Depression and Anxiety Group Contact: 011 262 6396, 0800 205 026 or visit sadag.co.za • Childline Contact: 0800 055 555 or visit childline.org.za (they have a facility whereby a child can speak to them online via Mxit)

keep tabs on their online activities • M ake sure you know who your child’s friends are on their BBM, WhatsApp, Mxit, Facebook and Twitter accounts. In the same way that you wouldn’t drop off your child at a house where you didn’t know the child or parents, you need to know who your child is talking to online.

• Be your child’s friend on Facebook or BBM so that you can keep an eye on him.

• Install Mobiflock (mobiflock.com); it works on Blackberry, Android and Nokia devices and has a tool that allows you to lock down the usage on your child’s phone. When you give your child a cellphone, you have to explain that it comes with a set of rules and regulations. Mobiflock should be one of them.

• Keep a tight rein on your children’s online activities. Parents should only allow their children access to a computer and cellphone on condition that they are able to view the contents of the device at any time. Random checks on the phone are advisable and if you see that your child has been abusing the phone, there should be repercussions. Your responsibility to keep your child safe overrides his right to privacy. Remember that children are not equipped to deal with cyberbullying. Even if they feel that they can cope with it, they can’t.

• Check the safety settings on your child’s Facebook account and stick to age limits and requirements. Don’t let your child onto Facebook until he’s 13.

Children need emotional maturity to handle such accounts.

• If your child is being bullied, you can delete and block the perpetrator.

Remember, though, that you can’t delete and block people from real life, so you need to speak to the parents and the school and preferably resolve the issue.

take action • • • • • • • • •

Get counselling for your child if necessary.

Speak to the bully’s parents. Don’t meet alone; take a witness.

Speak to your child’s class teacher.

If the situation does not resolve itself, speak to the grade head.

Meet with the principal about your concerns.

If there is no solution, consult the Department of Education.

Report the cyberbullying incident to the police and get a case number.

Consider consulting a lawyer.

The last resort would be to remove your child from the school.

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resource

roots, shoots and muddy boots Children don’t usually associate vegetables and salad with fun, but SAMANTHA VAN RIET shows you in her book how to encourage your children to plant, and eat, their own greens.

corn fritters • • • • • • •

about 3 cups cooked sweet corn 1 wheel feta cheese, crumbled 2 eggs 1 cup flour 1 teaspoon baking powder ½ cup milk oil for frying

1 2 3 4 5 *

ift the flour and baking powder together.

S Beat the eggs and milk in a different bowl and add this to the flour mixture.

Now add the corn and feta and stir.

Heat oil in a pan.

Fry spoonfuls of the mix (4 fritters at a time) until golden on one side, then turn over and fry on the other side.

Delicious with a sweet chilli sauce.

tomato tart • • • •

1 roll shop-bought puff pastry 1 large handful of small tomatoes basil leaves or basil pesto (see pesto recipe on the right) 1 small block of cheese: Camembert, mozzarella, or even goat’s cheese

1 Unroll the puff pastry and lay it out flat. Score a line about 2cm from the edge all around the sheet of pastry to make a frame.

2 Prick the part inside the frame with a fork all over, to prevent it from rising as it bakes.

3 Cut the cheese in blocks and sprinkle it over the dough on the inside of the scored line. Sprinkle the basil leaves over the cheese, or spread basil pesto in between the cheese blocks. Now place the tomatoes all over with the cut side up.

4 Bake in the oven at 200 Cº for 20 minutes, until the pastry is golden.

basil pesto

1 Take three cups of basil leaves, one clove of garlic, half a cup of Parmesan cheese and half a cup of nuts (walnuts or pine nuts). Use a hand mixer or a pestle to grind all the ingredients together.

2 Bit by bit, add one cup of olive oil. Keep on mixing the ingredients as you add the oil. The mixture will become a paste. It shouldn’t be too fine. Add salt and pepper. Store the paste in a screw-top container in the fridge.

Basil pesto is delicious on pasta, like spaghetti. You can also add a teaspoon of basil pesto to vegetable soup.

This beautiful children’s book, Roots, Shoots and Muddy Boots (Tafelberg Publishers, an imprint of NB Publishers), will inspire budding gardeners between the ages of six and nine to grow their own vegetables, and show them how to use the fruits of their labour in simple, yet tasty, recipes. They will learn about planning a garden, types of soil and preparation, planting and pruning and the all-important task of harvesting.

There are also craft projects for them to tackle. Each page offers plenty to do with useful bits of information, photographs and illustrations. Van Riet, an illustrator by profession, came up with the idea when she struggled to find a suitable gardening book for her children. Available at all good bookstores.

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February 2013

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: A GOOSEN / A BLOM / S VAN RIET / shutterstock.com

about the book

books

a good read for toddlers

for pretee en and te s ens

for preschoolers

Farmer Clegg’s Night Out

By Peter Bently and Jim Field

Let’s Leap Ahead – Phonics

By Alex A. Lluch

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R89) The atmosphere in the farmyard is electric.

Old Farmer Clegg may be tucked up for the night, but there’s a talent show about to take place and all the animals are desperate to win. Will a break-dancing horse take the top spot? Will the pop-singing sheep twins be offered a recording contract? Competition is fierce, but nobody’s counted on a certain farmer with a sleepwalking habit. Children from the age of three will adore this very funny story and its bright illustrations.

Parents might remember the author and illustrator who also collaborated on Cats Ahoy!

(Published by WS Publishing Group, R105) This handy book makes learning fun for children from the age of three. It teaches them the fundamentals of spelling and reading with engaging activities. The notepad format, with its 80 pages of learning fun, makes it easy to use at home or on the go. It comes with a nontoxic dry erase marker and eraser and it has an elastic holder to keep the marker in place.

Other books in the Let’s Leap Ahead series include Alphabet, Numbers and Colors & Shapes. Also try the Let’s Leap Ahead apps.

for early graders Big Questions from Little People Compiled by Gemma Elwin Harris (Published by Ecco Press, R265) Children have the knack of asking great but challenging questions such as: Why is the sea salty? How far away is space? Why can’t I tickle myself? What makes me, me? This book gathers over 100 real questions from children and puts them to knowledgeable experts. Alain de Botton explores how dreams are made. Kate Humble explains why lions roar.

Heston Blumenthal answers the question about why we cook food. Their answers to the big questions; some complex, some searching, some surreal and some just plain cute; make this an essential handbook for anyone who wants to understand the complexities of life, the universe and why cake tastes so nice.

for us Conversations with my Sons and Daughters

By Mamphela Ramphele (Published by The Penguin Group, R233) Ramphele is a leading South African academic, businesswoman, medical doctor and a former anti-apartheid activist. In these conversations with people of a younger generation, she responds to the growing despair among young South Africans about the cracks appearing in our system of governance that threaten the idealism of the country that reinvented itself in 1994. She shows how successive post-apartheid ANC governments have betrayed the nation by fostering a culture of impunity among those close to the seat of power, where corruption goes unremarked and accountability has been swept aside. She encourages the youth to overcome their fears and to take control of their rights and responsibilities as citizens.

magazine durban

Where Things Come Back

By John Corey Whaley (Published by Atheneum Books for Young Readers, R95) This is a poignant and hilarious story of loss and redemption. In the summer before Cullen Witter’s senior year of high school, he is forced to examine everything he thinks he understands about his dull Arkansas town. His cousin overdoses; the town becomes obsessed with the reappearance of an extinct woodpecker; then his sensitive 15-year-old brother disappears.

Meanwhile, the crisis of faith spawned by a young missionary’s disillusion in Africa prompts a frantic search for meaning that has far-reaching consequences. This extraordinary tale is for children from the age of 12.

parenting book Learning with Scrap

By Denise Berman and Susan Connolly (Published by Early Learning Resource Unit – ELRU, R95) This book was compiled in response to a growing need for ideas and patterns for making inexpensive educational toys for young children. There are 60 ideas for making preschool equipment for each activity area, with instructions illustrated through step-bystep drawings. Where needed, patterns to size are provided. No expensive tools are required. The book also describes how the toy or game should be used and what children learn by playing with it. Preschool and preprimary teachers, parents, childminders and others who care for young children will find the suggestions useful. To order, visit elru.co.za

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calendar

You can also access the calendar online at

what’s on in february

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

1 fri

special events

29

FUN for children

30

only for parents

31

bump, baby & tot in tow

32

how to help

32

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Busyballers classes Children are introduced to the wonderful world of ball sports.

An Audience with Pieter-Dirk Eish!

Every night is a different show, and the choice is that of the audience.

Infant massage workshops Ideal for expectant moms in their last trimester, or moms and newborns.

The Learn Project Stationery and book donations give children the opportunity to learn.

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February 2013

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / NMH Photography

Surf’s Up This show is the ultimate beach party and is all about good vibrations, as you travel to exotic musical destinations.

16 saturday

SPECIAL EVENTS

R U the Nxt Rising Star Children 6–17 years old can audition for the 2013 Durban Youth Talent Search. Full registration is done on the day and entry forms are available in your local Fever paper from January. Also 17 and 23 February. Time: 11am–2pm. Venue: Hirsch’s Hillcrest, 16 February; Hirsch’s Springfield, 17 February; Hirsch’s Umhlanga, 23 February. Cost: R20 entry. Contact: sarah@hirschs.co.za or gillian@risingstaracademy.co.za or visit risingstaracademy.co.za

1 friday 2013 International Letter Writing Competition The SA Post Office offers learners up to 15 years old the opportunity to write a letter and win. The theme this year is ‘Why water is a precious resource’.

Competition closes 30 March. For entry details, contact Nobuhle: 031 336 3306 or nobuhle.njaphe@postoffice.co.za Lucky Bean Summer Menu launch This children’s indoor and outdoor play garden introduces their new summer café menu. There are sweet treats for children and gifts for parents. Ends 3 February.

Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: varies. Contact: 082 216 3892 or visit luckybean.co Surf’s Up This rocking show takes you to exotic musical destinations, like Jamaica and California, where you can listen to the sounds of Bob Marley, The Beach Boys and Mango Groove. 29 January–3 March. Time: 6:30pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 12:30pm, Sunday.

Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway.

Cost: R105, Tuesday; R140, Wednesday– Saturday; R95, Sunday. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

3 sunday Reggae Music Festival and Rasta Fair Celebrate Bob Marley Earth Day with reggae band The Meditators, as well as guest bands and DJs. Time: 10am–6pm. Venue: Wahooz Beach Bar, uShaka Marine World promenade. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 328 8000

5 tuesday Clifton College Grade 8 to 12 open evening Get a feel for Clifton, particularly for Grade 7 boys entering Grade 8 in 2014.

Time: 5:30pm. Venue: Clifton School, 102 Lambert Rd, Morningside, Durban. Cost: free. Contact: 082 808 6880, bmezher@ cliftonschool.co.za or visit cliftonschool.co.za

7 thursday Twitch This comedy follows two harassed couples in a game reserve bird hide. Ends 24 February. Time: 7:30pm, Tuesday– Saturday; 2pm and 6pm, Sunday. Venue:

magazine durban

21 thursday 15 February – International Childhood Cancer Awareness Day

Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN, Glenwood. Cost: R130, Valentine’s special R200. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

9 saturday The aQuellé Midmar Mile Now in its 40th year, this swimming event has various races for different age groups and families. Or you can swim for a cause, and support groups like PinkDrive. Also 10 February. Time: varies. Venue: Midmar Dam, Lion’s River. Cost: varies. Contact: 0861 643 627 or 011 998 8022 (PinkDrive), info@midmarmile.co.za or visit midmarmile.co.za Love and Stuff Valentine’s crafts and activities for children four years and older, plus each child gets a lovely cake pop.

Time: 10:30am. Venue: Akimbo Kids, 40 Meadway Rd, Drummond. Cost: R25 per child, entrance R20. Contact: info@akimbo. co.za or visit akimbo.co.za Little Life pregnancy and baby workshop Expectant parents can enjoy a variety of informative talks by specialists and experts on topics such as child birth, care of newborns and pregnancy issues. There are also demonstrations, displays, goodie bags and tours of the maternity units.

Time: 9am–12pm. Venues: Life Westville Hospital, Life The Crompton Hospital, Life Mount Edgecombe Hospital, Life Chatsmed Garden Hospital and Life Empangeni Hospital. Cost: free. Contact Lisa: 031 313 7900 or lisa.thomas@lifehealthcare.co.za

14 thursday Cooking Couples Spend a romantic evening together and cook a delicious meal. Time: tbc. Venue: Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: R500 per couple. Contact: 031 764 6577, meryl@merylschoolofcooking.co.za or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za The Unlimited Dusi Canoe Marathon Paddlers race down the Msunduzi River.

Watch the start, or be there for the finish.

Ends 16 February. Time: varies. Venue: start Camps Drift, Pietermaritzburg; finish Blue Lagoon, Durban. Cost: varies. Contact: 033 394 9994, info@dusi.co.za or visit dusi.co.za

15 friday International Childhood Cancer Awareness Day Choc encourages schools and parents to host a Valentine’s Ball or civvies day to help raise funds. Contact Agie: dbn@choc.org.za or Nita: coordinatorkzn@ choc.org.za Pregnancy and baby workshop Expectant moms and dads learn from the experts. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, 471 Kassier Rd, Assagay. Cost: tbc. Contact: 031 768 8009 or tricias@hillcresthospital.co.za Pregnancy Awareness Day workshop Medical specialists offer advice, and there are refreshments and giveaways. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: 3rd floor, Ethekwini Hospital and Heart Centre, 11 Riverhorse Rd, Queen Nandi Dr. Cost: free. Contact Shalen: 031 581 2652 or shalenr@staff.ehhc.co.za

St Henry’s Marist College open day This Catholic co-educational school offers Grade 000 to Grade 12. Time: 5:30pm.

Venue: 210 Mazisi Kunene Rd, Glenwood.

Cost: free. Contact: 031 261 7369 or visit sthenrys.co.za

22 friday Buckled This popular comedy takes audiences through the bizarre and delightful experiences leading up to an Indian wedding. Ends 24 February. Time: 8pm, Friday–Saturday; 3pm, Sunday.

Venue: Playhouse Opera Theatre, Durban CBD. Cost: R112–R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

23 saturday Pregnancy Education Workshop This is an informative morning spent learning about your pregnancy and caring for your baby. Proceeds from donations go to Shepherd’s Keep home for abandoned

7 February – Twitch

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calendar

22 fri

World of Dogs and Cats Pet Expo Arena events showcase dog breeds and tricks, while the Hall of Cats features different feline breeds. Enjoy live pet action, meet breeders, see exotic pets and buy pet products and accessories. Tickets available at Computicket or at the door.

Ends 24 February. Time: 2pm, Friday; 9am, Saturday–Sunday.

Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre, Durban CBD. Cost: adults R50– R60, children under 12 R25. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

babies. Time: 8:30am–12pm. Venue: Staff Canteen, St Augustine’s Hospital, 107 JB Marks Rd, Berea. Cost: monetary donation as you enter. Contact Heather: 031 268 5633 or heather.skinner@netcare.co.za

26 tuesday An Audience with Pieter-Dirk Eish! With so many entertainment options today, choice is everything. So Pieter-Dirk Uys hands the power to the audience, and they choose what each night’s show will bring.

Ends 10 March. Time: 8pm, Tuesday– Saturday; 3pm, Sunday. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN, Glenwood. Cost: R140. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

27 wednesday Maris Stella open day Find out what this school has to offer. Time: 6pm. Venue: Centenary Hall, Maris Stella, 558 Stephen Dlamini Rd, Berea. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 031 209 9426, ms@marisstella. co.za or visit marisstella.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Art classes Lessons cover painting and drawing methods and techniques. Time: 3:30pm–4:30pm, Monday–Friday. Venue: Manfred Dr, Rose Hill, Durban North. Cost: R500, includes materials. Contact: 074 178 9388 or sdyson@remax-panache.co.za KZN Science Centre Interesting displays and experiments teach children about science in a fun way. Time: 9am–7pm, Monday–Thursday; 9am–9pm, Friday– Saturday; 9am–6pm, Sunday. Venue: Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: adults R30, children R35. Contact: 031 566 8040 or visit kznsc.org

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February 2013

classes, talks and workshops Children’s Yoga A regular yoga practice develops strength, flexibility, concentration and coordination. Time: 3:15pm, every Tuesday; 11am, every Saturday. Venue: Centre for Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R40. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za Computer lessons Time: 3:30pm, Monday–Friday, 8:15am or 9:45am, every Saturday. Venue: Suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Drive, Umhlanga Ridge.

Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 1110 or 082 042 2556, umhlanga@computers4kids. co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za Core 4 Kids Classes build upper body and core muscle strength. For children 6–9 years old. Time: 2pm–2:45pm or 3pm–3:45pm, Monday–Thursday. Venue: Danville Ave, Glenashley. Cost: R70. Contact Michaela: 074 101 2616 Essay writing course Learn how to improve your English, Afrikaans or subject essays. For Grades 5–7 and 8–12. Time: 3pm, every Thursday; 2:30pm, every Saturday. Venue: Suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge.

Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556 or tracy@kipumhlanga.co.za French, English and isiZulu classes Adults, children and high school learners can sign up for lessons. Time: varies. Venue: Alliance Française de Durban, 22 Sutton Crescent, Morningside. Also in La Lucia.

Cost: from R55 per hour. Contact: 031 312 9582 or visit alliance.org.za Get Ready for School programme A gentle introduction to formal learning for Grade R learners. Time: 1:30pm, every Tuesday and Thursday; 11am, every Saturday. Venue: suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge.

Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556 or tracy@kipumhlanga.co.za Meditation for children There are activities, games and meditation for children to help them grow their happiness, patience and concentration. Time: 9:30am–11am, every Saturday. Venue: Maitreya Centre, 6 Hamilton Crescent, Gillitts. Cost: R30. Contact: 031 764 6193 or meditateinhillcrest@gmail.com Mindnastics This programme uses various techniques to improve listening skills, concentration, study skills and more. Time: from 2pm, Monday–Friday. Venue: North Beach. Cost: R250 per session. Contact Rookaya: 031 332 9724 or 083 623 1154 Study Skills Programme Learn how to study smarter. For Grades 5–7 and 8–12. Time: 3pm, every Wednesday; 1pm, every Saturday. Venue: Suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge.

Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556 or tracy@kipumhlanga.co.za

Moses Mabhida Stadium

Moses Mabhida Stadium Fun activities include the Big Swing, Sky Car and Stadium Tour. Time: varies. Venue: Masabalala Yengwa Ave, Stamford Hill.

Cost: varies. Contact: 031 582 8242 or visit mosesmabhidastadium.co.za Splash Waterworld Make the most of this water park with slides, children’s slides, a lazy river, mini golf and more. Braai facilities and picnic sites available. Time: 10am–5pm, daily. Venue: 97 Beach Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 904 2273 or visit splashwaterworld.co.za The Pottery Gallery Watch women creating and painting ceramics, or join in by painting your own mug or bowl.

There is also a coffee shop, farm animals, a giant teapot, play area and more. Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: on the M4, near Ballito. Cost: price varies depending on item painted. Contact: 032 946 3232 uShaka Marine World Find Wet ’n Wild, Sea World, Dangerous Creatures and more. uShaka Kids World caters for children 2–12 years old. Time: varies. Venue: 1 King Shaka Ave, Point. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play 1000 Hills Bird Park See exotic birds, visit the sweet shop, or take a ride on the zip line. Time: 8am–4pm, Tuesday–Sunday.

Venue: 1 Clement Stott Rd, Botha’s Hill.

Cost: adults R25, children under 10 R15. Contact: 072 927 8242 or visit 1000hillsbirdpark.co.za Crow open days Learn more about wildlife rehabilitation and meet some of the animals. 24 February. Time: 11am.

Venue: 15A Coedmore Ave, Yellowwood Park. Cost: R25. Contact: 031 462 1127 or info@crowkzn.co.za Duck and Deck Animal Farm Children can see farmyard animals or ride a pony, while parents enjoy a cup of coffee. Time: 9:30am–4pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 3 Willow Way, Assagay. Cost: R15. Contact: 031 768 1029 or visit duckanddeck.co.za KwaZulu-Natal Sharks Board Learn about sharks and see a shark dissection.

Time: 9am and 2pm, Tuesday–Thursday;

2pm, first Sunday every month. Venue: 1A Herrwood Dr, Umhlanga. Cost: adults R35, children R20. Contact: 031 566 0435 or visit shark.co.za The Animal Farmyard Watch daily milking demonstrations, bottle-feed newborn animals, enjoy pony rides and the foefie slide. Time: 9am–4:30pm, daily; milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: R12 entry. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za The Barn Swallows Up to three million barn swallows come to roost. Take a picnic, chairs and binoculars. Time: 5:30pm, daily.

Venue: Mt Moreland, Umdloti. Cost: R10 donation per person. Contact Angie: 031 568 1557 or visit barnswallow.co.za

markets Essenwood Market A range of stalls, fresh food and children’s activities. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Essenwood Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com Golden Hours Family Market Fundraising initiative of Golden Hours Special School. Time: 10am–3:30pm, every Sunday. Venue: Uitsig Rd, Durban North.

Cost: free entry. Contact Lyn: 083 262 3693 I Heart market Local foodies and designers showcase their products. 16 February. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit iheartmarket.blogspot.com Kloof Country Market Find quality products and homemade goods. 2 and 16 February. Time: 9:30am–1:30pm. Venue: Robyndale Centre, 10 Msenga Rd, Kloof.

Cost: free entry. Contact Linda: 082 454 3181 or linda@healinghandskzn.co.za Shongweni Farmer’s and Craft Market Organic and local produce and crafts.

Time: 6:30am–10:30am, every Saturday.

Venue: cnr Kassier Rd and Alverstone Rd, Assagay. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 777 1674, info@shongwenimarket.co.za or visit shongwenimarket.co.za The food market Locally produced foods. 23 February. Time: 8am–1pm.

Venue: The Hellenic Community Centre, Durban North. Cost: free entry. Contact: 084 505 0113 or visit thefoodmarket.co.za The Litchi Orchard Market Covered market with a children’s playground. 2 and 16 February. Time: 9am–1pm.

Venue: Seaforth Ave, Foxhill. Cost: free entry. Contact: 084 205 6151 or jeremy@ litchiorchard.co.za Wonder Market Find food, crafts and treasures at this monthly family market.

24 February. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Chris Saunders Park, Gateway. Cost: free entry. Contact: 079 747 7661 or visit wondermarket.co.za

family outings Inchanga Choo Choo Travel to Inchanga Station and back on this steam train.

There is a craft market, museum and food at Inchanga Station. 24 February. Time: departs 8:30am and 12:30pm. Venue: departs from Kloof Station, Stoker’s Arms.

Cost: adults R150, children R120. Contact: 082 353 6003, 087 808 7715 or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za

24 February – Wonder Market

magazine durban

on stage and screen Crash and Bernstein In this live-action series with puppetry, 12-year old Wyatt Bernstein’s new puppet comes to life.

But the loud-mouthed Crash, seems to have no limits. The series premieres on 9 February. Time: 9:20am on Disney XD, DStv Channel 304. For more info: visit disney.co.za/disney-xd R U the Nxt Rising Star Audition for the 2013 Durban Youth Talent Search. Time: 11am–2pm. Venue: Hirsch’s Hillcrest, 16 February; Hirsch’s Springfield, 17 February; Hirsch’s Umhlanga, 23 February. Cost: R20 entry. Contact: sarah@hirschs.co.za Surf’s Up Travel to exotic musical destinations with the sounds of Bob Marley, The Beach Boys and Mango Groove. 29 January–3 March. Time: 6:30pm, Tuesday– Saturday; 12:30pm, Sunday. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R105, Tuesday; R140, Wednesday–Saturday; R95, Sunday. Contact: 031 566 3045 or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

playtime and story time Books & Books Join in children’s story time.

Time: 10am, every Saturday. Venue: Shop 42 Kensington Square, 53 Kensington Dr, Durban North. Cost: free. Contact: 031 563 6288 or shop@booksandbooks.co.za Children’s story time Followed by a craft or activity. For 3–8 years old. Time: 10am, every Saturday. Venue: 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Lucky Bean Children can play safely while parents relax in the coffee shop. There is an indoor play barn and outdoor play garden, sand art and Perler beads. Time: 9am–4pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: R15–R20 entry. Contact: 082 216 3892 or visit luckybean.co Steam train rides Ride a miniature steam engine at the Durban Society of Model Engineers. 10 and 24 February.

Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 per ride. Contact Gerald: 031 205 1089 or 082 569 1383 Story time at La Lucia Library Time: 1pm, every Friday and Wednesday. Venue: 1 Library Lane, behind La Lucia Mall. Cost: free. Contact: 031 572 2986

sport and physical activities Adventure Kids Swim School Fun, developmental swimming lessons for children 1–15 years old. Time: varies.

Venue: Mount Edgecombe Swimming Pool. Cost: once a week R250 per month; twice a week R350 per month. Contact: 084 624 5962 or dlzsmythe@gmail.com Busyballers Classes Lessons are available for children 2½–6 years old, and time and costs vary depending on age. Phone to book a class. The first lesson is a free trial lesson. Time: from 2:30pm. Venue: Westville Country Club tennis courts, Link Rd. Cost: R350–R480. Contact Lisa: 083 236 0059 or lisa@busyballers.co.za Children’s belly dance classes For girls 5–10 years old. Time and venue: 4:45pm–5:30pm, every Monday, Sunningdale; 3pm–3:45pm, every Thursday, Glenwood.

Cost: R120 per month. Contact: senta@ mayadance.co.za or visit mayadance.co.za magazine durban

Crocworld This is a wildlife experience where children can see crocodiles, snakes and a variety of birdlife. A must-see is Henry, the 100-year-old Nile croc. A playground and baby changing room are available, as is a restaurant. Time: 8:30am–4:30pm, daily.

Venue: Crocworld, Scottburgh. Cost: adults R55, children 4–12 years old R35.

Contact: 039 976 1103 or crocworld@cbl.co.za

Newmarket Stables horse riding lessons This riding school and livery yard houses a sand dressage arena, jumping arena and a training size water jump. Time: varies, Monday–Saturday. Venue: cnr NMR Ave and Goble Rd, Stamford Hill. Cost: R150 per lesson. Contact Hayley: 031 303 1529 or visit newmarketstables.weebly.com Taekwondo Tornados Children get exercise, develop core strength and agility, and have fun. Time: every Wednesday, times vary according to ages. Venue: Westville Library. Cost: R130 per month. Contact Sam: 082 876 0628 or tkdtornados@gmail.com

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Abstract art class Paint on canvas, using various techniques. No experience required. Time: 10am–12pm, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday or alternate Saturdays. Venue: behind Coastlands On The Ridge Hotel, off Peter Mokaba Rd. Cost: R120. Contact Naadira: 073 223 6565 or nmoola@gmail.com Loving Kindness meditation course Practical guidance for living well. 10 February. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm. Venue: Mahasiddha Centre, 2 Hollings Rd, Malvern. Cost: R150. Contact: 031 464 0984 or info@meditateindurban.org Meryl’s School of Cooking Morning classes include stress-free dinner parties, healthy eating, and meringues and macaroons. 7, 21 and 28 February. A domestic workers’ course starts 19 February. Time: tbc. Venue: Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 764 6577, meryl@ merylschoolofcooking.co.za or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za Mind Spa Purification Retreat Refresh, uplift and rejuvenate your mind. Attend either or both days. 16 and 17 February.

Time: 10am–4:30pm. Venue: Maitreya Centre, 6 Hamilton Crescent, Gillitts. Cost: R200 per day. Contact: 031 764 6193 or meditateinhillcrest@gmail.com Mom’s IT Introductory and advanced computer skills. A certified course is also available. Ends 18 April. Time: 9am–12pm, Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: suite 125

Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R170 per hour, certified course R3 200. Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556, umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za North Coast Art Group Listen to an informative talk. 9 February. Time: 9:15am–12pm. Venue: Catholic Church, 2 Newport Ave, Virginia. Cost: members R20, visitors R30. Contact Craig: 082 964 9628 Permaculture good garden workshop This course teaches you about accessible and affordable ways to grow safe and organic food, and to live sustainably. 2 February, 2 March and 6 April. Time: 8:30am–2pm.

Venue: Birches Preprimary, 1 Oribi Rd, Sarnia. Cost: R210. Contact Doorkie: 079 420 2214 or doorkieliv@gmail.com Pilates in Motion goes mobile A qualified instructor goes to your home or office to teach you Pilates in one-on-one or group classes. Time: varies, Monday–Friday. Venue: Morningside to Glenwood or Durban North to Umhlanga. Cost: varies. Contact LauraMay: 082 443 4533, info@pilatesinmotion. co.za or visit pilatesinmotion.co.za Pilates Precision Strengthen, tone and lose weight. Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm, Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: The School of Modern Montessori, 9 Anthony Dr, Gillitts. Cost: four classes R280, eight classes R480. Contact Sarah: 071 183 4161 or sarahxevans@hotmail.com Soul therapy Pilates This is designed for moms, dads or teens. Pre- and postnatal Pilates lessons are also offered. Time: varies.

Venue: Hillcrest, Monday and Wednesday; Kloof, Tuesday and Thursday. Cost: R50. Contact Karen: 079 677 1060 or karensoultherapy@gmail.com Taekwondo for ladies Develop core strength, exercise and learn self-defence.

Time: 7pm–8pm, every Thursday.

Venue: Westville Library. Cost: R130 per month. Contact Sam: 082 876 0628 or tkdtornados@gmail.com Tiny Handz training Learn how to sign.

Basic workshops 1 and 2, 23 February; intermediate workshops 3 and 4, 22 February. Time: tbc. Venue: Durban. Cost: professionals R395 per workshop, nonprofessionals R370 per workshop. Contact: 082 218 7339, contact@tinyhandz.co.za or visit tinyhandz.co.za

Weekly meditation classes Learn to develop a balanced attitude through listening and meditation.

Time: 6:30pm–7:30pm, every Wednesday; 9am–10am, every Friday. Venue: Maitreya Centre, 6 Hamilton Crescent, Gillitts.

Cost: R30. Contact: 031 764 6193 or meditateinhillcrest@gmail.com Weight loss challenge Have fun and gain energy on this 12-week course about healthy nutrition and how to lose weight.

Starts 6 or 7 February. Time: 11am–12pm, every Thursday; 5:30pm–6:30pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Umhlanga Rocks. Cost: course R350. Contact Tracy: 082 852 4890 or tracy.mills@telkomsa.net

on stage and screen An Audience with Pieter-Dirk Eish! With so many entertainment options today, choice is everything. So Pieter-Dirk Uys hands the choice to the audience, who decide what each night’s show will bring. 26 February–10 March. Time: 8pm, Tuesday– Saturday; 3pm, Sunday. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN, Glenwood. Cost: R140. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Buckled This popular comedy takes audiences through the bizarre and delightful experiences leading up to an Indian wedding. 22–24 February. Time: 8pm, Friday–Saturday; 3pm, Sunday.

Venue: Playhouse Opera Theatre, 29 Acutt St, Durban CBD. Cost: R112–R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Twitch This new comedy follows two harassed couples in a game reserve bird hide, over a birding weekend competition.

7–24 February. Time: 7:30pm, Tuesday– Saturday. 2pm and 6pm, Sunday. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN, Glenwood. Cost: R130, Valentine’s special R200. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

out and about Tea with Claire Fine china, high tea and stimulating conversation with psychologist and trainer, Claire Newton.

28 February. Time: 10am. Venue: Saint James on Venice, Morningside. Cost: R150.

Contact Sunet: 031 312 9488 or visit clairenewton.co.za

support groups Born Sleeping Parents bereaved by stillbirths, miscarriages or neonatal death can share experiences. Contact: 084 524 1541/2, bornsleeping@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page: Born Sleeping

2 February – Permaculture food garden workshop February 2013

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calendar

Romantic picnic beach ride Spoil yourself this Valentine’s Day with a romantic horse ride for two and a picnic on the beach. Time: 3pm, daily. Venue: Durban South, directions sent on confirmation of booking. Cost: R1 200 for two people. Contact Amelia or Terence: 081 477 9348, 084 467 0752, horsebeachrides@gmail.com or visit horsebeachrides.co.za

Childhood cancer parent support group Choc schedules regular support meetings. Contact Gill: 084 831 3683 or visit choc.org.za Durban Autism Support Group For mothers of children with autism spectrum disorders. Coffee mornings are held four times a year. Contact Di: 083 443 8385 or dimaitland@tiscali.co.za Famsa Offers family and relationship counselling. Contact: 031 202 8987 or visit 30 Bulwer Rd, Glenwood, Durban Hi Hopes Home intervention programme for children who are deaf or hard of hearing.

Contact: 082 897 1632, dianne.goring@ hihopes.co.za or visit hihopes.co.za Sadag For those suffering from depression or drug abuse or who may be suicidal. For more info: visit sadag.co.za

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February 2013

Speak Easy Support group for those who stutter. Contact Imraan: 082 786 3718 or visit speakeasy.org.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

varies. Venue: Westville. Cost: five-week course R500. Contact Kelly: 083 777 4578 or babybrightstars@gmail.com Infant massage workshops Classes are run over four mornings and are ideal for moms with newborns or in their last trimester.

4–13 February. Time: 9:30am–11:30am, every Monday and Wednesday. Venue: Lasting Impressions, 35 Caefron Ave, Westville. Cost: R800 for mom and baby.

Contact: 031 267 0435, 083 661 6682 or info@lasting-impressions-studio.co.za Pre- and postnatal yoga Blissful Bellies offers relaxed and nurturing pregnancy and postnatal classes for moms and babies.

Venue: Eagle View Studio, 4 Galloway Lane, Winston Park, Gillitts. Contact Kirsty: 073 351 6824, kirsty@blissfulbellies.co.za or visit blissfulbellies.co.za Pregnancy yoga This class teaches beneficial postures, breathing techniques and relaxation for mothers-to-be. Time: 3:45pm, every Wednesday; 9:30am, every Saturday. Venue: Centre for Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R50 per class. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za

classes, talks and workshops

playtime and story time

Babygym Firm Foundations A five-week parent education course. Starts 23 January.

Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: Waterfall. Cost: R630. Contact: 083 653 6801 or visit babygym.co.za BabyJourney Learn about useful tools to help moms deal with the more traumatic side of motherhood. Time: varies. Venue: BabyJourney Centre, 150 Adelaide Tambo Dr, Durban North. Cost: varies. Contact: 079 220 2639 or visit babyjourney.com Edubabe Sign up for childminder training, first aid workshops and cooking classes for nannies, au pairs and parents. Time: varies.

Venue: Glenwood. Cost: varies. Contact Kate: 071 968 1007 or durban@edubabe.co.za Hypnobirthing Classes help expectant parents to prepare mentally, physically and emotionally for a better birth experience.

Dates vary. Time: 6pm–8:30pm. Venue: BabyJourney Centre, 150 Adelaide Tambo Dr, Durban North. Cost: R1 500 per couple. Contact Patti: 079 220 2639 or visit babyjourney.com Infant baby massage Bond, relax and learn in a supportive environment. Time:

Baby Bright Stars Interactive mother and baby classes for babies from 2 months–2 years old. Time: varies. Venue: Westville.

Cost: R750. Contact Kelly: 083 777 4578 or babybrightstars@gmail.com Clamber Club Movement and stimulation classes for children 1–4 years old. Time: varies. Venues: branches in Ballito, Hillcrest and Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact Ballito: 076 222 2946; Hillcrest: 084 577 7630 or Kloof: 083 259 2746 or visit clamberclub.com Moms and Tots workshops Toddlers 1–3 years old learn coordination, perception and self-confidence. Moms and Babes workshops also available. Venues: branches in Amanzimtoti, Ballito, Berea, Durban North, Highway area and Umhlanga.

Cost: varies. Contact: info@momsandtots.

co.za or visit momsandbabes.co.za or momsandtots.co.za Toptots Children 8 weeks–4 years can join age-appropriate classes to learn and play.

Time: varies. Venues: branches in Durban North, Ballito, Glenwood, Kloof, Hillcrest, Westville and Hilton. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, info@ toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za

support groups Mothers 2 Baby This is invaluable for all moms who are finding motherhood challenging. Time: 10am–11:30am, third Thursday. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, Kassier Rd. Cost: free. Contact Hayley: 078 640 7949

how to help Action Sports charity drive Host a social and sporty team-building event and help raise funds for disadvantaged schools in the Durban area. Action cricket, netball and soccer are all available for booking on 2–3 and 23–24 February, and 16–17 March. Contact Durban North Arena: 031 569 2173, Game City Arena: 031 309 3888 or Highway Arena: 031 704 6046 Kidz2Kidz Lovy Project Lovy is a cuddly toy character in a coaching project book, created to help teach children about selflove. With your help and donation, Lovy can share this message with children throughout South Africa. For more info: visit lovy-lovesyou.com The Learn Project Its aim is to equip schools and children in need by providing books and stationery. You can help by donating books and stationery supplies.

There are also opportunities to cover books, read to children, set up reading centres or collection points. Contact Ros: 071 853 4473, ros@thelearnproject.co.za or Lucy: 082 458 5171, lucy@thelearnproject.co.za or visit thelearnproject.co.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za or fax it to 031 207 3429. Information must be received by 1 February for the March issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

magazine durban

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

magazine durban

February 2013

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finishing touch

unexpected epiphanies ANÉL LEWIS spends some quality time with her children,

t

Erin, Anél and Conor

here are some things in life that just can’t be bought, or even exchanged for a token. I learnt this, and several other surprising lessons, during my recent three-week break from work. I also discovered that much as I love my children, the only way to get through 48 minutes (and yes, I counted) of sitting cross-legged in a sandpit at the end of a long day, is with a small gin and tonic. And no, I am not advocating that you hit the bottle when you do things with your children. But there is nothing wrong with a genteel G & T at the end of an exhausting parenting day.

I also discovered that the maximum lifespan of a fist-sized ball of playdough is about two hours. Try as you might to

keep it in its original form – malleable and slightly moist – it will eventually end up cracked and desiccated, squashed into the couch or smeared onto the floor. After just one afternoon of Erin “baking” with the noxious stuff, there was playdough stomped into the carpet, some rammed into the crevices of Conor’s fire truck and a few errant pieces embedded in her hair.

The blobs that did survive were carefully, or so I thought, stowed away for another day. But alas, I woke up the next morning to find the dogs lying prostrate in the backyard. Erin, bored with making butterfly shapes, had decided to create playdough “sausage rolls” for the dogs to snack on.

And clearly they didn’t go down too well.

If you are planning to go out in the morning, do not ask your two year old what she would like to wear. We were treated to an assortment of outfits each day, ranging from her swimming costume paired with gumboots, to an oversized T-shirt with an equine theme and the question “why the

long face?” emblazoned on the back. Yes, why indeed, I asked myself, as I realised that the show we were due to see had already started and Erin was no closer to choosing her ensemble for the day.

You can lead the toddler to the toilet… but after that, you have no control over what happens. I smugly thought that I would be able to potty train Erin during my stint at home. But my plan was derailed on day one, when I suggested that we exchange her nappy for pants, and she promptly replied, “No, I’ve tried that.”

Right, okay then. I guess sitting on the toilet seat is not going to happen any time soon either?

But the most notable lesson learnt was that the best activities are usually those that come free, and often in unexpected forms. As I work away from home, I looked forward to entertaining Erin at a play park during the holidays. But, she was unimpressed by the undulating snails; she turned up her nose at the indoor jungle

gym and would not be cajoled into riding a tractor. And so, after an excruciating hour in the blazing sun, mostly spent explaining to her that the neon armband clipped to her wrist entitled her to go on any ride she desired, we admitted defeat and headed for the parking lot.

And this was where Erin’s eyes lit up.

She spotted a silver trolley; one of those unwieldy ones used to move heavy planttype things like cycads, around the nursery.

“Mom, Mom, pick up,” she instructed. I obliged and pushed my delighted daughter around the parking lot while her brother squealed in amusement from his pram.

And there we had it, unfettered joy, no tokens required.

Anél Lewis is Child magazine’s features editor. She thoroughly enjoyed the 21 full days spent with her children during the holidays, but was also quite grateful to return to work, where she can once again do tasks that don’t involve playdough.

Follow her on Twitter:@ChildMagParent

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February 2013

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: STEPHANIE VELDMAN

and learns a few surprising lessons along the way.