Child magazine | DBN February 2015 by Hunter House Publishing

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

back to

school

classroom dynamics

what teachers really want you to know

easy-peasy

lunchbox ideas nobody likes a cheat

teaching children to take the high road

school projects

whose assignment is it anyway?

www.childmag.co.za

February 2015

free

get a handle on the

new year from homework to health checks

also in this issue

how blood type can affect pregnancy shopping for a baby monitor concussion – when it’s more than just a headache

health

education

entertainment

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za Louise Topping • studio@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Lisa Waterloo • dbnsales@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: BROOKE FASANI

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

a time for “firsts”... Thinking back on my children’s early years, I remember how exciting it was to experience their “firsts” – that first gummy smile; sitting up without “donkey”, a cushion my gran made to prop them up; and their first wobbly steps, which literally took my breath away. My firsts, however, were less joyous – such as my first day back at work, wondering how I could leave such a tiny tot in the care of a highly recommended nanny, yet someone I hardly knew. I could barely see the road through my tears. A child’s first day at school is a momentous event. It may cause a bit of anxiety for parent and child alike, but it’s an exciting rite of passage that will see your children learn to stand on their own two feet, make new friends and embark on a wonderful journey of learning.

Each year always brings new possibilities, opportunities and inevitably some challenges. The Child magazine team has made it our mission to celebrate the highs with you and offer handy tips and professional advice to help you navigate the trickier times. Welcome back… here’s to a happy, healthy 2015.

Lisa Mc Namara Publisher

Child magazine Online

Durban’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing,

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We’ve put together some pro tips to help you settle your child into the new school year. See page 31.

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February 2015

contents february 2015

24 3 a note from lisa

health

6 over to you readers respond

10 the rise of superbugs Marc de Chazal looks at the antibioticresistant bacteria phenomenon

features 7 swimming for life Marina Zietsman finds out which questions parents should ask when looking for a qualified swimming instructor

12 classroom challenges Caryn Edwards explains the dynamics of the classroom setup

14 lekker lunchboxes Maria Findt and Sarah de Lange share simple and practical ideas in their new book Gem

16 bump to the noggin concussion occurs more often than we think and should be taken seriously, says Marc de Chazal

18 mapping it out Lisa Lazarus has had her portion of helping with school projects and shares a few lessons

20 it’s all about teamwork the key to raising a child successfully as a couple, is doing it together, says Paul Kerton

23 little cheats cheating at school is not “cool”. Christina Castle gives advice

31 managing school practical tips to help you prepare for the new school year. By Tamlyn Vincent

regulars 8 pregnancy news – it’s in the blood Anél Lewis discusses the importance of blood type during pregnancy

9 best for baby – here’s looking at you, baby shopping for a baby monitor? Tamlyn Vincent gives tips on choosing the right one

11 dealing with difference – addicted to sugar? many people are hooked on sugar. Lucille Kemp finds out how to restore healthy eating habits

22 a good read for the whole family 24 resource – we love libraries Marina Zietsman gets inspiration from here and abroad to underline the importance of books and book spaces

26 what’s on in february 30 finishing touch Anél Lewis is back as a columnist and she kicks off the year wondering about separation anxiety

classified ads 29 let’s party 29 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

February 2015

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

Stuart Williams Photography Roedean School

Ackermans ackermans.co.za

Spree spree.co.za

shutterstock.com

magazine durban

February 2015

letters

say no to bullying If I had to tell you that your boy is bullying my boy… If I had to tell you that he cries in bed at night “feeling small” and fearful of his friend… If I had to tell you that we have spent most of a year trying to build resilience in our once-confident little guy… If I had to tell you that he is often sad and, as a result of this bullying, now doubts his ability to do things he used to excel at… If I had to tell you that I have witnessed several incidents myself in the class and on the playground… If I had to tell you that your boy’s bullying is hurting my child psychologically to such an extent that he has had to start play therapy… Would you listen? Would you care? Would you pay attention? Would it cross your mind that maybe our boy is not the only one at the receiving end? Would you want your boy to intimidate, push and pull punches on other boys? All of which I have witnessed myself. Would you deal with it? Or would you only see the great achiever your child can be, turn a blind eye and believe it is the other parents’ problem? Addressing it with the school resulted in us being told that we are ruining our boy’s life by nit-picking and fault-finding. But when I look into my boy’s eyes, and wipe away his helpless tears, hold him in my arms when his “friend” makes him feel “small” – that’s when I know it is our duty to bat for our boy.

Please, parents and teachers: take bullying seriously and act on it. Our top private school has instead chosen to sing the overachiever’s praise. They elevate him above most other children, depriving other boys of being the best they can be. Where do we turn to now? Anonymous

child magazine to the rescue A friend gave me a copy of your magazine and I think it’s awesome. I now regularly find activities for my boss’s children; your magazine has it all. Bernice

school readiness In response to the article “what’s the right age to start school?” (December 2014/January 2015): I matriculated in 1990 at the age of 17, having started school at a little over five years old. I did okay at school and received reasonable marks in matric, but I am convinced that had I been a year older starting school, things would have been so different. I was a big boy and played team rugby, however I played with boys mostly in the grade below me. This made socialising at school tricky, as I was torn between my teammates and my classmates. Starting matric, I should have played sport for the under-17 age group, but my only option was under-19, so I played against

over to you your voice on childmag.co.za in response to “spoilt brat syndrome” My husband and I have two children, a four-and-ahalf year old and a baby of eight months. As you can expect, our first was thoroughly spoilt. We are now attempting to teach him the value of things, and it’s not working so well. I’m hoping he will learn to understand the concept: “You have to earn it.” He already has a piggy bank, but never wants to use his own money. Hopefully he gets it soon. I know I’ve got some time, but still… Yashmitha Padayachee This article was uninformative and a waste of time to read. Your target audience is mothers who don’t have time to read a feature by someone who dares give us advice, yet confesses to having a 17-year-old spoilt brat of her own. Shouldn’t the magazine rather have commissioned someone who has been “walking the talk” and is successful at it to write the article? I’m not attacking the writer personally, but the magazine should know better. In this information-overloaded age, one has to be selective. Unfortunately, articles like these make me lean towards removing Child magazine from my list of what is acceptable to read. Faatima

February 2015

what looked like men to me, and my confidence started to diminish. On the academic front, again I did okay and was always above average, but I certainly did not shoot the lights out. There was nothing wrong with my capability, it was more my lack of maturity when it came to applying myself. Had I been a year older, I’m sure I would have applied myself in a more focused manner. For me, confidence is everything. If you believe you can do something then you certainly stand a much greater chance of succeeding. Being young on the sports field and in the classroom did not foster confidence in me; it did the opposite. I also made immature decisions and chose a career path that was not suited to me. Children today are under huge pressure on all fronts. Let’s focus on building confidence and self-esteem, as all other success will stem from this. Richard Walsh

great feedback I want to thank you for publishing my blog “wonder women” on your website. It was very well received and the Facebook page I formed right after is growing every day. Women from all over the world in the same position as me have joined, looking for a support network. Nicky Fourie

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

in response to “learning styles” This is a brilliant article. It will help me to establish what type of learner my daughter is. Thank you so much. Anonymous in response to “guidance for parents of intellectually gifted children” I really sympathise with parents of intelligent children who struggle to focus. A teacher telling you to “help your child to focus more” is hopeless advice. You cannot help him focus during lessons. That’s the teacher’s job. Teachers need to ask themselves: “What can I do to make my lessons more enjoyable, interesting and age-appropriate? Should I involve the class more?” Bright, intelligent and sensitive children suffer due to an over-intellectualised and abstract way of teaching. The content of lessons is inappropriate and that’s when children react. If a child is focused when they’re interested in a subject or topic and they enjoy doing it, it is not strange. Surely the same goes for all of us – you, me and teachers. Parents should not attempt to do at home what the teacher does, as this will create anxiety, conflict and unhappiness. I have worked with parents and children and have seen it time and again – children seldom have problems. It’s the parents and teachers

who do, which rubs off on the children. We want to force children into boxes and make them obedient and brilliant – it’s insanity. I will admit that the system doesn’t always support teachers, but parents can do their bit. Play with your child in the garden or park. Make patterns with stones and different coloured petals. Finger agility is what builds mental ability in the early years. Young children need to be imaginative. Act out stories, paint, draw, bake, get a craft book and make things with them. Let them create in their own way, with no judgment. Don’t make your child feel they’re “not good enough”. If you enjoy doing things with your child, your child will enjoy it too. Have fun, sing, dance and be “silly”. Children don’t need to be stuffed with information. That time will come and from puberty your child will be ripe for the intellectual and conceptual world. Parents of a seven year old should stop worrying about his academics. Gillian subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions. To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

magazine durban

safety

getting started

swimming

for life

Swimming lessons save lives, so parents should enrol children in an effective programme. But how do you know that you’ve chosen the right instructor? MARINA ZIETSMAN finds out.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

here are many swim schools available, but not all are certified to the correct standards, or registered to an accredited body. Parents should be vigilant about the requirements needed in order to run a Learn to Swim programme.

If you are satisfied that the instructors you’re sending your child to are suitably qualified, you should take some time to get in on the action with your child. “Parents should be allowed to attend lessons, especially in the beginning, to see if the programme works for their child,” says Jagga. She says parents are fully entitled to enquire who their child will be swimming with as well as how many children and instructors are involved. “It is helpful for parents to know what will be taught during lessons so these can be re-enforced at home.”

what to expect The beginning stages of the Learn to Swim programme teaches basic survival skills, such as how to right oneself after an accidental fall into water. “Children are taught to float on their backs or to tread water until someone can pull them out. They can be taught to move a short distance in water to get to the side of the pool,” says Jagga. Keep in mind, children of different ages learn to swim at different stages. Children under 30 months usually swim in groups with a parent or caregiver for security reasons, and because they learn when they “copy cat”. Infants’ and toddlers’ motor skills aren’t fully developed, so they learn basic water safety techniques. Toddlers are also taught to return to the side of the pool. Most three to five year olds take approximately 20-plus lessons to be able to swim across a small pool. A six to nine year old will take approximately 10-plus lessons. “These are just estimates as it also depends entirely on the age, attitude towards water and how comfortable they are in water. Teaching formal strokes will obviously take longer.” Jagga also says to keep in mind that most swim schools don’t use swimming aids like noodles and armbands as this gives a false sense of security. These aids will also prolong the process of being able to swim independently.

the must-haves

stick to it

Anyone that offers swimming lessons for children needs to be registered with the provincial swimming authority (see the “contact” box for organisations affiliated with Swim SA). In order for swimming schools to be registered to these bodies, they need Swim South Africa certification and proof of completing a Learn to Swim trainer’s course. All instructors must also have an up-to-date level 1 first aid certificate as well as an up-to-date official police clearance certificate. Nicola Jagga from Western Province Aquatics (WPA) says, “Parents often go by word of mouth, but we encourage them and caregivers to ask more questions about qualifications.”

Jagga says parents must accept that some children don’t like water, especially on their faces, and they might act out. “But this is no reason to stop lessons. Parents should persevere, as learning to swim is a vital life skill.”

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contact Swim SA – visit swimsa.org (click on “SSA affiliates” on their homepage)

February 2015

pregnancy news

when it’s not a perfect match Edelstein says red blood cells also carry antigens from the Rhesus system, and the most important of these is the D antigen. People who have this D antigen are Rh-positive, while those who don’t have it are Rh-negative. If the mother is Rh-negative and the father is Rh-positive, there is at least a 50% chance that their baby could be Rh-positive. A Rh-negative mother can carry a baby who is Rh-positive, but if her blood somehow mixes with the foetus, she could develop antibodies that will attack her baby’s blood cells.

February 2015

it’s in the blood Blood tests are among the barrage of screenings pregnant women have to endure. ANÉL LEWIS finds out why these are important, and when blood type matters.

85%

the number of people globally who are Rh-positive, according to medical literature

Edelstein says this usually occurs during the third trimester or during childbirth and would not cause a problem during the first pregnancy. “But if not managed appropriately, in a subsequent pregnancy, maternal anti-D antibodies can cross the placenta and bind to the foetal blood cells, causing foetal anaemia and jaundice, heart failure and even intrauterine death.”

But Edelstein says the risk can be reduced by giving Rh-negative women anti-D immunoglobulin in situations when there could be a crossover of blood from baby to mother – after delivery, a miscarriage, invasive procedures such as an amniocentesis, or abdominal trauma. The anti-D immunoglobulin can also be administered in the third trimester if there is

a likelihood of Rh-incompatibility. A second shot of anti-D immunoglobulin will be given within 72 hours of delivery. If a pregnant woman has already developed the Rh antibodies, she will be closely monitored, and if the baby is in danger, special blood transfusions could be performed in utero or after delivery. The National Centre for Biotechnology Information in the US says that haemolytic disease of the newborn can also occur when the mother and baby’s blood types are incompatible. This is less severe than Rh-incompatibility, and usually happens if a mother with blood type O develops antibodies that attack her baby’s A, B or AB blood cells. There are no routine tests for this during pregnancy and babies with jaundice will be screened after birth.

fertility issues Edelstein is reluctant to place too much weight on blood type as a marker of infertility, as the available literature doesn’t conclusively link blood type with the production of the follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). Blood type also does not serve as a predictor of in vitro fertilisation (IVF) success, he says. A woman’s egg reserve declines with age; and other factors such as smoking, chemotherapy, endometriosis and ovarian surgery could also deplete the supply.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

ike many women, I would have been hard-pressed to identify my blood group, let alone my husband’s, before falling pregnant. But blood tests are one of the first things your doctor will ask for when your pregnancy is confirmed. Dr Sascha Edelstein, a Cape Town-based gynaecologist and fertility specialist, explains that human blood cells carry a variety of different antigens or substances that can induce an immune response. The most important are the A and B antigens, as described by the ABO blood system. Blood type is inherited from both parents, with A and B being co-dominant, while O is recessive. The blood types are therefore A, AB, B or O.

best for baby

here’s looking at you, baby Are you in the market for a baby monitor? TAMLYN VINCENT looks at what features parents should consider before buying.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

ou’ll often see new parents carrying their baby monitor around with them. Others sit in front of the TV watching their baby sleep. It’s not surprising, as this is their child – often their first – who they are monitoring. Baby monitors help to alleviate some of the fears that come with parenting, especially for first-timers. They help parents keep tabs on their little ones when they’re sleeping and they’re busy in another room, or getting some shuteye themselves. They’re also important, vital even, for babies who have apnoea attacks, says Meg Faure, an occupational therapist and co-author of Sleep Sense. Pietermaritzburg dad, Blake, says that his daughter had breathing troubles when she was born and their movement monitor came in very handy. Choosing a baby monitor can be difficult, given the number of options available. Faure recommends looking at better-known brands, and choosing a monitor that is reliable and not overly sensitive. If it constantly goes off, much like crying wolf, parents may not respond quickly when they really need to. You’ll also need to consider the range of the monitor and the area it needs to cover, bearing in mind that concrete walls can impact on the quality of transmission. Digital and wireless systems can pick up

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feedback from other devices, even from your neighbour’s house, so look for a monitor with more than one frequency. Wi-Fi monitors are also available and allow you to monitor your baby on devices like cellphones. If you are concerned about Wi-Fi and wireless monitors emitting radiation, even though there don’t seem to be conclusive studies, place the monitor several metres away from your baby and don’t wear the parent unit.

safe and sound Place the monitor away from the cot and, if there is a cord, ensure it is out of your baby’s reach. Don’t let monitors increase your anxiety levels, advises Faure. One mom says her monitor ticked in time with her baby’s breathing. Every time it paused too long, she would shoot out of bed. After a week without sleep, she turned it off. For babies not considered high risk, Faure says you may want to consider whether you need a monitor at all. For babies who are high risk, remember that monitors can’t reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome, so be cautious of those making such claims. And trust your parenting instinct, says Faure. If you feel you should check on your baby, don’t avoid it simply because your monitor says everything is alright.

what to look for • Audio or audiovisual – audio is essential as it alerts you to cries, but video can help you decide how to react. • Battery and electricity – look for one that runs on both, in case of power cuts. • Lights with sound – lights that increase in intensity or brightness with the volume of crying will alert you even when in a noisy room. • Movement or breathing monitors – only if medically necessary. • Out-of-range alarm – lets you know when the parent unit is no longer receiving a signal. • Volume control. Some features may be nice to have, but aren’t likely to impact on actual monitoring, such as a temperature sensor, night vision and a channel for your TV, tablet or computer.

February 2015

health

the rise of superbugs The overuse of antibiotics has led to a worldwide crisis of antibiotic-resistant bacteria. MARC DE CHAZAL investigates.

f you or your child gets a cough or cold, you may think your doctor should immediately prescribe a course of antibiotics to sort you out. But in the majority of cases, it’s a waste of time because colds are usually caused by a virus. This overuse of broad-spectrum antibiotics is only increasing the resistance of bacteria to last-line antibiotics. According to Prof Guy Richards, the academic head of the division of critical care at Wits University, it has resulted in a worldwide crisis of virulent superbugs that are resistant to common antibiotics. In the future simple infections may not respond to medical treatment, so it affects us all. “We are talking about a crisis where people in ever-greater numbers are no longer responding to the available treatments and the problem is growing, with disastrous consequences,” says Richards. Antibiotic abuse destroys the infection-fighting, good bacteria and replaces them with hostile, antibiotic-resistant bacteria. Dr Salome Abbott, paediatrician and pulmonologist at Kingsbury and Vincent Pallotti Hospitals in Cape Town, says antibiotics are often prescribed unnecessarily, sometimes more than one at a time, when doctors feel pressurised to prescribe medication for a sick child.

In a UK study, almost half of GPs admit to prescribing antibiotics even when they know they won’t work, largely due to the pressure from patients to do so. “Doctors have to become extremely circumspect about when and for what they prescribe an antibiotic and which antibiotic they prescribe, because we are at the end of

as simple as washing your hands regularly will help to prevent the spread of bugs, says Richards. “Bugs are transmitted quite easily by direct contact through breaks in the skin or by breathing contaminated air,” explains Abbott. “The best way to minimise the risk is to prevent the emergence of these superbugs in the first place by using antibiotics responsibly. Antibiotics are precious and life-saving, so we should protect them at all costs.” Unless a secondary bacterial infection is being treated, illnesses such as common colds and influenza should not be treated with antibiotics. Abbott agrees that parents should question their doctors when they prescribe antibiotics. “Unfortunately, parents often go to the doctor with a sick child expecting they will leave the doctor’s rooms with a prescription. When deciding to prescribe an antibiotic, it should be the appropriate one for the bug being treated, at the correct dose and for the correct duration,” says Abbott.

Unless a secondary bacterial infection is being treated, illnesses such as common colds and influenza should not be treated with antibiotics.

February 2015

the antibiotic era,” explains Richards. “Pharmaceutical companies are not producing new generations of antibiotics because it is not profitable for them; we therefore have to make sure that we extend the lifespan of existing antibiotics.”

responsible drug use Hospitals are often the primary catalysts for the spread of superbugs, especially in intensive care, but it is also emerging as a problem in crèches and schools. Something

5 000

people die from antibioticresistant infections every year in the UK – NHS

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dealing with difference

addicted

to sugar

According to many experts we are hooked on sugar. LUCILLE KEMP explains how to kick the habit.

aren Thomson is a mom who runs a sugar-free household. This means there is no sugar or refined carbs in her home. “We eat real, nutritious food and I teach my children about food and making informed choices. We grocery shop, prep and cook together, and make dinner a special time to share our lowlights and highlights of the day.” Karen is also a recovering addict, having battled addiction to cocaine, alcohol and sugar. She has been clean of drugs for 10 years and clean of sugar for two years. Clean of sugar? Some of us have probably never heard a story like this before nor used the word “addiction” quite as literally as Karen does when declaring our addiction to chocolate, but for her, and many in healthcare, sugar addiction is real.

hoard and hide these treats to get our fix. “This unmanageability and powerlessness is synonymous with addiction,” says Karen. Dr Mark Hyman, author of The Blood Sugar Solution, echoes this view, describing sugar as “eight times more addictive than cocaine”. On the other hand Dr Neville Wellington, a Cape Town-based GP and diabetes specialist, is unsure if sugar is addictive. We are designed to crave food in order to survive, so he prefers to say that it depends on the individual, adding “although there are some people who really struggle to give up sugar or carbohydrates, not everyone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic”.

there’s something about juice Although Wellington has a middle-road approach to the idea of sugar addiction,

sugar is 8 times more

addictive than cocaine

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

defining addiction Seeing obesity on such a grand scale and being interested in understanding why some individuals develop abnormal eating behaviours, American neuroscientist Dr Nicole Avena used science to validate the idea of sugar addiction. Avena’s clinical trials on rats indicated that consuming sugar affects the brain by stimulating the reward system. “Brain pathways that evolved to respond to natural rewards are also activated by addictive drugs. Sugar is a noteworthy substance that releases opioids and dopamine and thus might be expected to have addictive potential.” Karen says that sugar becomes a problem in our lives when we chase the high we get from consuming sugar in order to feel good, when we keep consuming sugar despite the apparent negative health consequences we may be noticing, and we magazine durban

he is absolutely convinced that sugar consumption in children today is a problem. His work in local communities reveals that the biggest health issues among children are sugar related – obesity and dental caries. In order to get our children to consume less sugar, Wellington advises that parents not only reduce their child’s refined carb intake, but also cut out fruit juice and other sugary cool drinks. “Most of the children I see are overweight and these children, from six months to a year old, are drinking bottles and bottles of fruit juice, and they can’t get enough. Rather breast-feed children as long as possible (to at least six months old) and then wean onto milk and water.” In a 2013 report, The South African Journal of Clinical Nutrition (SAJCN) attributed the nationwide rise of added sugar intake largely to “the consumption of sugar-sweetened beverages”.

While trying to understand why there was such a high incidence of overweight children in a particular poverty-stricken community, American paediatric endocrinologist Dr Robert Lustig experienced a revelation when he learnt that a government feeding programme was sending a copious amount of packaged fruit juice to this community. Dr Richard Johnson, US-based physician, clinical scientist and author of The Fat Switch, explains why fruit juice is so bad. “When you eat the fruit, you eat the fibre with it, which is really important as it forms a lattice in your bowel and reduces the speed of absorption of fructose,” he says. “When fructose is absorbed very rapidly it causes stress in the cells, and converts very rapidly to fat. Juicing something removes the fibre, which leads to faster absorption. So, eating the whole fruit gives your liver a chance to metabolise it properly.”

kick-start a sugar-free life • Do your research Recommended books include Sugar Free by Karen Thomson, Fat Chance: Beating the Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity, and Disease by Dr Robert Lustig, Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes and Why Diets Fail by Nicole Avena. • Educate your family If you’re focusing on cutting out sugar, your reading will help you to identify the good and bad foods. Create a shopping list of foods to eat, which you’ll find are mostly

fresh, whole foods, and a blacklist of all the foods to avoid, such as packaged and processed foods. • Train the taste buds Ideally, start your children on a low- or sugar-free diet as young as possible. Changes include using water as the source of hydration, keeping sweets for an occasional treat and tempering portions. You’ll find that there are many healthy foods that satisfy – these will control the appetite and help cravings. Wellington’s children snack on cheese, biltong, nuts and fruit. • Cut refined/white carbs This rule is a standard part of Wellington’s prescription. “Changing my patients’ diet is 80% of my treatment approach.” His family has adopted a low-carb lifestyle – school lunches are made using tortilla wraps, not bread. • Take control Identify when you are “feeding your feelings” and stop by occupying your time with an activity. Beware of rewarding your child’s achievement and good behaviour with edible treats. • Seek treatment and support A prominent addictions clinic in Cape Town offers a 21-day inpatient programme for those suffering from eating disorders such as binge eating and compulsive overeating, which is most often sugar laden. There is also an online programme called “The Sugar Free Revolution”, which runs over eight weeks.

the problem with sugar It contributes to a poor diet According to the SAJCN, intake of sugar displaces foods that are rich in micronutrients. Over time a solid body of evidence has appeared, particularly from large prospective studies, which strongly indicates that dietary sugar increases the risk of developing obesity and type 2 diabetes, and probably cardiovascular disease too. It’s hidden everywhere We’re not fully aware of how much sugar we’re eating, because there is added sugar in many products that we love and deem healthy, such as low-fat yoghurt. We binge on it Probably at the heart of why sugar is so bad for us is because we overindulge. American neuroscientist Dr Nicole Avena says this is because sugary foods are very tasty and not very satisfying over the long term – a bad combination.

February 2015

education

classroom challenges At the beginning of the school year, teachers are faced with classroom dynamics such as class selection and seating arrangements. A lot of time and

he beginning of a school year can be daunting – there is uncertainty about who will be in your child’s class, who their teacher will be, how the classroom dynamic will contribute to the learning environment and, most importantly, how happy your child will feel in their class. As parents, these concerns are real – you want the very best for your child. The educators at your child’s school grapple with the same challenges: a commitment to ensuring that children are placed in a class that will most benefit their learning and their happiness.

class selection Depending on a child’s needs, a teacher may make or break a child’s school year – teacher/class selection is an important decision, and one that is being made

February 2015

by people who don’t know your child as well as you do. As a parent and a teacher, Natalie Hodge from Bryanston in Joburg feels that parents need to have faith that the class selection is made based on how your child behaves at school. “I believe children behave differently at school than they do at home,” says Hodge. “The dynamics are so different from a home environment that we cannot expect children will always behave at school the way they do with their parents.” “Class lists are compiled by teachers as a team,” says Melissa Daniels*, a teacher from Milnerton in Cape Town. “We take into consideration all aspects of a child’s development – academic, social, emotional and behavioural. It is a detailed and lengthy process.”

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

consideration go into these decisions, as CARYN EDWARDS discovers.

Sharon Louw, a Grade 2 educator at Curro Private School in Durbanville, agrees: “Compiling class lists can be time-consuming, but taking the time to place children in the correct class is vital. The first step is for the class educator to divide the class into ability groups and, where possible, to place an even number of boys and girls within each class. We aim to ensure that learners are placed with the correct educator, taking into consideration the personality types and the child’s learning style. The social and emotional development of the child is also considered, before we sit together as educators and correlate all the information on a spreadsheet – we want to ensure that learners are placed into classes that have children with mixed abilities.”

seating arrangements Much like at any social gathering, the seating of children in a classroom is an important decision. Who your child sits next to, or near to, can affect their learning and their response to what is being taught. Unless a specific issue, such as a difficulty with sight or hearing, is revealed, teachers select seats based on different criteria. Depending on the age of the learners, they may be allowed to select their own seats at the beginning of the year, until the teacher is familiar with the children, or until specific needs or problems are detected.

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Some teachers prefer to group their learners according to ability, or place children with different abilities next to one another in order to encourage and facilitate peer teaching. Louw feels that in a co-ed school it works if a boy and girl sit next to each other. “I find that they work cooperatively and get along socially,” says Louw. “I am open to changes during term, but I like to start with each learner having a new place next to a new friend, preferably from another gender.”

and their teacher, you may feel that some change needs to take place. Most teachers will agree that parents have the right to voice their concerns, but that there needs to be an order of discussion. Speak to the teacher about your concerns. They may need to be made aware of differences in behaviour or attitude you’ve noticed at home. Always let teachers know about any needs your child may

My child’s teacher is so much more aware of the dynamics that are created by certain friends and groups in a classroom situation than I am. handling the decision What happens if you feel that your child has been placed in a class that does not encourage learning, either because of classmates, the seating arrangement or a personality clash with the teacher? It is inevitable that at some point in the year, you or your child will disagree with a method or a motion employed by the teacher. Most small disagreements can be ignored, but when you feel that there is a personality clash between your child

have with regards to their sight, hearing, or learning challenges, such as ADHD. Wait a while to monitor any positive changes. If there is no change, request a meeting with the teacher and the head of the grade or of the department. Class changes in the middle of the year are very unusual, and mostly discouraged. Working on the problems with your child and through interaction and open communication with the teacher are far better ways of dealing with classroom challenges.

Any further concerns should be discussed with the principal, but Sharon and Natalie agree that the educator and the principal should have the final say with regards to the changing of classes, as they are most acutely aware of how your child responds and behaves there. Trystan Watkins, a mother of three from Table View in Cape Town, feels that deciding when to intervene can be tricky. “I don’t see the need for intervention in the teacher’s decision, unless my child’s concentration and learning are affected. We want to teach our children that they cannot be ‘saved’ from every unpleasant decision made on their behalf, but if my child’s classwork is suffering as a result of her desk partner or her teacher, then a meeting may need to be called.” Having said that, Trystan believes the teacher should have the final say. “My child’s teacher is so much more aware of the dynamics that are created by certain friends and groups in a classroom situation than I am. Although it can be difficult, it is important for parents to allow decisions to be made that we don’t necessarily agree with.” If the communication between the teacher and parents is open and honest, there should be little concern about dealing with and resolving classroom challenges, which should make for a happy and successful school year for all involved. *Name has been changed.

February 2015

book extract

lekker

lunchboxes In their aptly titled new cookbook Gem, MARIA FINDT and SARAH DE LANGE bring us a collection of culinary gems to feast on. Here are some simple yet practical ideas for school lunches. lunchbox snapshot singles

cheese sticks

1 Cheese

11 Yoghurt

21 Waffles

2 Cold meats

12 Samosas

22 Nuts

3 Hardboiled egg

13 Spring rolls

23 Sushi

4 Rusks

14 Dried fruit

24 Apple sauce

5 Biltong

15 Pretzels

25 Pastry pockets

6 Dry wors

16 Crackers

26 Muffins

7 Sausages

17 Loose cereals

27 Mini pies

8 Olives

18 Cereal bars

28 Salad

9 Pickles

19 Soup in a flask

29 Nachos

10 Popcorn

20 Rice cakes

30 Smoothies

combos

ingredients • Puff pastry • Cheddar cheese, grated • 1 egg, beaten method Cut the puff pastry into strips, or any shape you want, using cookie cutters. Sprinkle desired amount of cheese on top. Brush with the beaten egg. Bake in the oven for about 15 minutes or until golden in colour.

1 Hummus and pita bread 2 Cherry tomato and Cheddar cheese 4 Matzos and Bovril 5 Apple and peanut butter 6 Guacamole and raw veggies 7 Tuna mayonnaise with crackers 8 Salmon and

spaghetti spiders ingredients • Cocktail viennas • Spaghetti method Thread three pieces of raw

cream cheese 9 Parma ham and melon 10 Fruit juice and ice:

a cocktail vienna.

freeze overnight for a

Boil for 8–10 minutes or until the

slushy summer surprise

spaghetti is cooked.

pizza wheels

sushi sandwich

ingredients

ingredients • Slice of soft bread • Cream cheese • Cucumber, thinly sliced lengthwise

• Puff pastry • Tomato sauce • Ham • Cheese • 1 egg, beaten method Top the puff pastry with tomato sauce, ham and cheese. Roll the pastry up, cut into slices and brush with egg. Bake in the oven for about 15 minutes or until done.

spaghetti through

February 2015

method Cut the crusts off and flatten the bread using a rolling pin. Spread with cream cheese and top with the cucumber slices. Roll the bread slice up and secure the end with some cream cheese on top of the cucumber to make it stick together. Cut the slice into rolls using a sharp knife.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: CATIE LOUW

3 Tzatziki and red pepper

30-second salad ingredients • Cucumber, cut into chunks • Cocktail tomatoes, halved • Feta • Olive oil and balsamic vinegar method Mix the cucumber and tomato together. Crumble feta on top. Drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

no-bake granola bars ingredients • 2½ cups Rice Krispies • 1½ cups oats • 1 cup chopped dried fruit (such as cranberries) • ¾ cup peanut butter • ½ cup honey • ¼ cup brown sugar method Line a 20cm x 30cm dish with baking paper.

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about the book Combine Rice Krispies, oats and fruit in a large bowl. Place the remaining ingredients in a suitable bowl and place them for 1 minute in the microwave, then stir. Add to the cereal mixture and mix well, then press on the bottom of the dish. Cool for 30 minutes. Remove from the dish and cut into bars.

Gem – a Cookbook of Family Treasures by Maria Findt and Sarah de Lange is the second collaboration between the two authors, following the success of The Cookbook for Families. Maria and Sarah have gathered a number of recipes from various contributors to give us delicious options for family meals, including breakfast ideas, and meat, chicken, fish and vegetarian meals. Their creative lunchbox ideas are simple and practical. The authors hope this book will, in time, “become splattered with butter, covered in sticky chocolate fingers and develop dog-eared pages as a result of incessant use”. Order Gem for R250 (excluding postage; R5 of the cost of each book is donated to charity) from GEMfamilycookbook@gmail.com or contact 072 728 3636.

February 2015

health

bump to the

noggin

A blow to a child’s head can cause concussion. Experts advise that we treat the injury as more than a headache and get it checked out as soon as possible. By MARC DE CHAZAL

February 2015

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

e’re big on sport. It’s possibly our favourite national pastime. It’s no wonder then that we encourage our children to become active participants as soon as they can hit, kick and catch a ball. It’s also a dangerous pursuit. Full-contact sports such as rugby offer up a steady flow of injuries, from mild bruises all the way to the more nasty kinds, including brutal bumps to the cranium. Head trauma is certainly one risk of playing contact sports. And that’s exactly what concussion is – a mild traumatic brain injury, which the Congress of Neurological Surgeons (CNS) claims is the most underreported, underdiagnosed head injury. And it’s not just a blow to the head that should concern you. The CNS states that a concussion can occur from impact to another part of the body, as it can sometimes jar the head enough to cause an internal collision of the brain with the inside of the skull. Rugby tops the American Academy of Neurology’s (AAN) list of sports where boys are most susceptible to concussion, followed by hockey and soccer. Girls get concussed most often playing soccer and basketball. According to the AAN, children younger than nine years old typically suffer concussions and other head injuries when bicycling or playing on the playground. Cape Town mom, Penelope*, says her son, Bruce* (11), had a bad tackle while playing rugby and landed heavily on the ground, hitting his head. “I immediately suspected a concussion, but he ‘passed’ all of the initial tests – he could answer all of our questions. But I just knew he wasn’t himself. He appeared dazed and then he wanted to lie down. As soon as he started vomiting, I knew he’d been concussed,” recalls Penelope. “He also suffered from short-term memory loss and couldn’t remember anything about the event, although he could remember everything else prior to the incident.” They didn’t waste time getting him straight to a hospital, where he had a CT scan to make sure there wasn’t a more serious brain injury, and then he was booked off all sport for six weeks, with no contact sport for six months. Clearly, a concussion is more than just a headache and you shouldn’t expect your child to shake it off.

when is the bump bad? Complaining about a bad headache and vomiting (or nausea) is common after a concussion, but some experts claim that symptoms can take a while to show, as every brain is different and reactions to head trauma vary. The Journal of Athletic Training reported in 2011 that both boys and girls complain of headaches after a concussion, but boys often experience amnesia and confusion, while girls more often say they are drowsy or sensitive to noise. “Acute symptoms are fairly consistent, including headache, transient confusion, dizziness, unsteadiness, nausea or vomiting,” explains Dr Marc Hauptfleisch, a paediatric neurologist at Baragwanath Hospital in Gauteng. “The hallmark of concussion is that the symptoms are self-limited, so if they appear sometime after the injury, there may be a more worrying condition.” One of the prevailing myths about concussions is that we shouldn’t allow a person to fall asleep soon after a hit to the head, to prevent a coma. But if your child has suffered a concussion, his brain needs to rest in order to heal. It’s important, however, that you keep an eye on your child in case new symptoms appear. Hauptfleisch advises that we keep the person awake for at least four hours after the injury and says that when they do go to sleep we should wake them regularly to check that there are no signs of an altered level of consciousness, seizures, worsening headache, nausea or vomiting. “The concern with a person sleeping post-concussion is that many of these signs will not be noticed,” says Hauptfleisch. “Careful observation should take place for at least 24 hours after the injury.” The child must be symptom-free at rest and after exertion before returning to physical activity, he advises, and it should be a gradual, supervised return.

Symptoms can take a while to show, as every brain is different and reactions to head trauma vary. Penelope says that her doctor also told them to encourage Bruce not to focus his attention on anything specific for a while, such as studying (her son must have been elated about that). “After a head injury, the brain produces glucose to heal itself,” she says. “The glucose should only be used for healing and not for anything else, so it’s preferable for your child to just take it easy. He missed a few days of school after the incident.”

bump barrier “I feel very apprehensive about him playing contact sport again in the future,” admits Penelope. “I would prefer him not to, but he is rugby mad and loves the sport. We will definitely ensure that he wears protective headgear.” Hauptfleisch says there is moderate evidence indicating that using a well-fitted, safetyapproved helmet effectively reduces the risk of concussion. “There is no evidence that it eliminates the risk of concussion and more serious head trauma,” he adds. Helmets are designed to prevent skull fractures. A padded helmet or other forms of protection may very well lessen the impact to your child’s head in a sport-related collision, but they cannot entirely stop the forces of motion that can cause internal brain impact. If at any time you are concerned about your child after a blow to the head, take them to be checked out by a trained medical professional as soon as possible. *Names have been changed.

symptoms of concussion • Headache or a feeling of pressure in the head • Temporary loss of consciousness • Confusion or feeling as if in a fog • Amnesia surrounding the traumatic event • Dizziness or “seeing stars” • Ringing in the ears • Nausea • Vomiting • Slurred speech • Delayed response to questions • Appearing dazed • Fatigue

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Some symptoms may take hours or days to appear, such as: • Concentration and memory complaints • Irritability and other personality changes • Sensitivity to light and noise • Sleep disturbances • Psychological adjustment problems and depression • Disorders of taste and smell Source: Mayo Clinic

February 2015

mapping it out Whether you like it or not, your child’s school projects are going to require a bit of help. LISA LAZARUS has found a few teachable moments in the often maddening process.

February 2015

emember school projects? Perhaps you were one of those students who left things to the last minute and then pulled a frantic all-nighter. I remember Simon van der Stel, African elephants and Ernest Hemingway, but mostly, I can’t forget the horror: a Grade 7 geography project. We had to draw a small map of North America, including rivers, mountains and other complicated topographical features, before enlarging it through the use of grids, which was probably a cartographical method last used in the fifteenth century. It was mindnumbing, pedantic work that took weeks and left me as depleted as a dry fish. For this reason I tried to keep my expression bland and my attitude upbeat when my seven year old came home with instructions for his first project: on Angola. I’m not convinced Jacob cared that much for Angola’s export products, but he certainly liked making his three-year-old brother jealous. Cartographical methods might have changed dramatically since

the fifteenth century, but sibling rivalry sure hasn’t. Baby brother threw a tantrum; naturally, he also wanted to do a project on Angola. When asked what Angola was, the little one said it was a table, so that venture was a bit of a non-starter. However, I did ask Jacob what he thought about doing a project on his favourite computer game, Minecraft. He smiled a gap-toothed grin and nodded joyfully. No words were necessary; obviously, this is something that would interest him. Marx said something about alienated labour, or was that Henry Ford? Anyway. One of them said you shouldn’t do alienated labour and the other one made you do it. Having said that, cars have stood the test of time better than communism, but I might be missing something here. I thought that perhaps we’d have better luck with the second project. The third term rolled around and school project number two was sent home with the children. It used to be that children did the project

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

education

and parents transported it to school on the hand-in day. No more. Now it’s a joint venture, and so I approached this with a fair degree of trepidation. And rightly so. This time the child had to present an oral, which explained his career goals to the class. Freud said you need work and love to be happy. He also said that time spent with cats is never wasted. I suppose he’s right. Being ignored or at best treated disdainfully is probably an excellent life lesson. If anything, the project on work made me more miserable than the forays into Angolan products and national dances. My mind flashed back to two humiliating job experiences in my early twenties. The first one involved phoning managing directors of various big companies to try and convince them to buy a giant red nose to hang on the side of their building. Over the December holiday period, I sold one nose. My best friend at the time, who was also doing the job, sold nothing. I should’ve been happy; at least I’d done better than her – and isn’t that the point of work, to do

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better than your nearest and dearest? But in reality, working on commission, I had made about R300 for six weeks’ work. The other job involved schlepping up and down shopping centres asking people to donate blood. At the age of 22, I had just fallen in love for the first time, or at least I believed that I had, and in that altered state anything seemed possible, even imploring strangers to stick a needle into their arms. I kept with the job. December came and went. The job ended. The boyfriend left me. Such is life. And surely parents should not let their prejudices taint their children’s fresh and excitable impressions of the world? “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I asked my son cheerfully. “We need to think about what you are going to say in front of the class. For the oral.” He was tap-tapping on the iPad, lost to the outside world. I wrestled the device from his hands and forced him to make eye contact, a surprisingly difficult thing for a seven-year-old boy. “I’ll show you,”

When asked what Angola was, the little one said it was a table, so that venture was a bit of a non-starter. he told me. Half an hour later, back on the computer naturally, he’d put together a PowerPoint slide. There was a smuglooking lawyer in one corner, a bedraggled hobo standing outside a dishevelled windmill in another and, at the bottom of the page, a ghoulish zombie with a terrifying sneer. “Lawyer-hobo-zombie?” I asked. I kept my expression neutral. Maybe lawyerhobo-zombie is the job of the future.

“I want to be a lawyer and a computer games designer. And in my spare time, I’ll write books,” he said. So the author (my profession) was represented by the bedraggled-looking hobo standing outside a decrepit dwelling. I said nothing. I think it’s a parenting strategy that is greatly underrated. Also, I’m just trying to gather my strength to deal with his Grade 7 geography project on mapmaking.

February 2015

parenting

it’s all about

teamwork A lot can change in the lives of two people committed to raising a child, but the important thing is to do it in tandem, says PAUL KERTON.

arenting is all about survival – primarily the child’s, but also your own – and how well you work together with your partner during the formative years will dictate the sanctity and state of your partnership, as well as the health and welfare of your child.

During the first year of a child’s life, when you both seem to be putting out fires, there is no steeper learning curve and neither of you really knows best. Everything is experimental as both of you reveal different and (hopefully) complementary skills. The father can’t breastfeed, but he can bath the baby (without dropping her) – although even Jacque Fourie is guilty of the odd knock-on. (Tip: put pillows on the bathroom floor.) Sometimes one of you just doesn’t get the hang of a parenting task, and it’s okay to put your hands up and say, “Look, darling, I’ve tried, but I can’t get the baby to sleep” and offer to do something else. To be a good team, you don’t need to both do everything together – and don’t try to imitate your friends. Dr Debbie Cherry, author of Childproofing Your Marriage (David C. Cook) cautions, “One of the most important points to remember as you develop a co-parenting team is to avoid comparing yourself to others. What you find works best may not work for others. And what works for them may fail miserably in your home.” During the course of bringing up a child, personal circumstances change radically. Partners will change initial roles due to sickness, retrenchment and relationship issues. What can happen is that a certain ego and competitiveness or resentment rises to the fore.

February 2015

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

baby steps

Karen, 32, took on the breadwinner role when her partner Jacques was retrenched. “Jacques stayed at home and I continued my consultancy. I hated it when he would settle the baby so easily,” she says. “He was just incredibly smug about it. I began to resent the amount of time they shared.” If you find yourself reaching a flashpoint when one of you gets irritated and impatient with the other, saying demoralising things such as “Not like that, like this” or “Let me do it, you’re hurting her” before snatching the nappy, stop and take a deep breath.

patience is a virtue The trick is to allow each other to make mistakes – provided you learn from them. You need to each take responsibility and allocate yourself specific tasks before you start, so there are no grey areas. It’s a good idea to take it in turns to be “team leader” for each activity: “You hold her, I’ll wash, okay?” Graham Hookey, author of Parenting is a Team Sport (DH Educational Services), says: “The coach should ideally set the programme and control who does what, when… You have to have someone who calls the shots, otherwise it’s chaos.”

good cooperation You must support each other, whatever happens. You can discuss the finer points of technique and best practices in a civilised debriefing later: “Maybe next time we should unscrew the jar first” or “Unbutton the babygro before we get her on the mat”. Jens, 29, an advertising account executive with twin baby sons, insists on a family indaba every Friday evening with his wife. “Olivia and I cook and have a meal together while discussing everything about the boys. It is also a good excuse for us to be alone.” Little tweaks and refinements can make a huge difference in streamlining baby “operations”. Good time management and splitting tasks into roles and responsibilities is crucial.

the third voice As a baby or toddler, your child is still largely controllable and the conversation is only two-way. By the time the child gets to around three or four years old, however, they will have found a confident voice and have developed an attitude. That’s when complications arise. Now there really are three people in the relationship. Protest and argument suddenly come from the child, not your partner. It’s wise to make your child an integral part of the team at this stage.

Parents need to always present a united front; once a child knows he can divide and conquer, you have a monumental struggle on your hands. young schemers Children can be incredibly scheming even at a young age, because their sole desire is to get their own way. Parents need to always present a united front; once a child knows he can divide and conquer, you have a monumental struggle on your hands. “My youngest wraps Mom around her finger,” says Martin, 40, a doctor, “which is a source of unnecessary friction between us. We’ve spoken about it, but she always caves in and repeatedly contradicts me. It’s like she can’t help herself.” When Dad has said no to his son watching a TV programme, and the child then asks Mom separately who says yes (or vice versa), a sensible couple will discuss the situation and confront the child along the lines of: “When one of us says no, the decision stands and we don’t appreciate you asking Mom for a second opinion.” No sensible couple will argue in front of their child about watching the programme while the boy sits and watches it, amazed at his new-found power to divide and cause chaos. The rules are: 1) if your partner is nearby, check what their thoughts are on any contentious issue before deciding, and 2) never argue in front of the children.

tandem parenting As children grow older and more arrive, a sad consequence is that “the team” naturally splits, because each child demands different attentions. So, one parent sticks with the youngest while the other looks after the eldest, or Dad the boy and Mom the girl. Couples silently pass each other in a hurry to get child X to activity Y, and barely communicate, let alone spend time together. And when bedtime arrives, both partners are too exhausted for you know what. Part of being a good team is to remain close to each other and to find time to talk, plan and be touchy-feely with one another. You know, sharing a life together. Don’t forget that. magazine durban

February 2015

books

a good

read

toddlers

Extra Yarn By Mac Barnett and Jon Klassen (Published by Walker Books, R123) Annabelle discovers a box of brightly coloured yarn, and decides to knit a cosy jumper to keep herself nice and toasty. To her surprise, when she’s done, she still has yarn left over. So she knits and knits and soon she’s blanketed the entire town in a rainbow of colour. Then the evil archduke sets his beady eyes upon her magical box of yarn, but what he doesn’t know is that you need some magic inside your heart for it to work.

early graders preschoolers

Blue Like You By Carolyn Davies

Thabo: The Computer and the Mouse By Letepe Maisela

(Published by Imaginarium Books, R202) The blue play-clay Monkey is lonely, and the red play-clay Bunny is angry. But Monkey has a plan and soon they’re lost in a game of squishing and cutting playclay shapes. They discover that together their world can be fun and colourful.

(Published by African Perspectives, R150) These 10 stories are written for children in Africa. They’re inspiring and deal with a boy talking to an electronic genie, sharing secrets with Mopane worms, meeting a very greedy man and buzzing along with Queen Bee to save her entire army.

National Geographic Kids – Super Space and Amazing Pets Sticker Activity Books (Published by National Geographic, R90 each) There are 1 000 stickers, as well as skillbuilding puzzles such as mazes, activities, games and facts on space and pets. This series for children from four to seven years old also includes books on cute and cool animals.

preteens and teens

for us

parenting

The Legacy and The Legion By Melissa Delport (Published by Tracey McDonald Publishers, R85 each) World War III lasted 12 days. It was all it took for humankind to devastate the planet and almost eradicate the human race. No victor emerged from the ashes and billions lost their lives. At the centre of this trilogy is a strong woman who is prepared to sacrifice everything for the cause she believes in.

February 2015

Brilliant By Roddy Doyle (Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R220) When Uncle Ben’s business fails, Gloria and Raymond know that something is wrong. Then they overhear granny saying that the Black Dog has settled on Ben’s back and he won’t be okay until it’s gone. They decide they’re going to get rid of this “black dog”. But other children are searching for it too, because the Black Dog is hounding lots of Dublin’s adults.

When Fraser met Billy By Louise Booth (Published by Hodder and Stoughton, R155) Billy the cat was rescued from an abandoned house. Fraser was a two-yearold autistic child when he first met Billy at the cat protection shelter. Billy purred, laid his paws across Fraser and they have been inseparable ever since. Slowly but surely Billy has transformed Fraser’s life. Their profound bond has immeasurably improved his life and the family’s.

Raising Happy Children By Lizanne du Plessis (Published by Metz Press, R153) We now know more about how children’s brains develop than we’ve ever known before and this has profound implications on how we raise them. Filled with examples and analogies, Raising Happy Children will help you understand your children’s true nature and how it affects the way they think and behave. You’ll be ready to set appropriate boundaries and put routines in place that will guarantee a calm, happy and connected family. magazine durban

education

little

cheats Our children need to learn the hard lesson that it’s not okay to cheat our way to the top. By CHRISTINA CASTLE

caught Alex, now 14, cheating last year. Actually, he hadn’t quite done the deed, but he was about to. He had a Xhosa test that day and let’s just say that Xhosa is not his subject. At the breakfast table that morning I noticed a string of words he’d written up his arm that suspiciously started where his short sleeve began. When I investigated further I discovered his Xhosa vocab disappearing up to his armpit like a tattoo. Horrified, I scrubbed his arm red. So, red-faced and red-armed he left for school that morning to write his test. I am pretty sure the results were not impressive. Alex is quite content to be academically “average”. I don’t quite understand this. Days before, I had a go at him about his schoolwork. While he dismissed me on the surface, he’d obviously taken it to heart and figured out a quick fix. It backfired – maybe for both of us.

have the cheating conversation, don’t lecture Like most things, the best way to confront the issue of cheating is to initiate conversation about it at home. No doubt, children do understand the implications of it. Although they may know it’s wrong, there are “grey” areas that may need further explanation.

teach your child good study habits The more organised and prepared your child is for academic demands, the better their chances of doing well – and the less motivation to cheat their way to the top.

set realistic goals Not all children are straight A students. Children need to work towards realistic goals and understand that academic work is just as important as spending time with friends and family, playing sport and their hobbies. Balance is important.

what drives a child to cheat?

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

Overcommitted, overly competitive, underprepared… Unfortunately, many children are under the whip to achieve on many fronts, and perhaps beyond their abilities. The pressure to perform in the classroom and on the sports field continues to be the motivating factor. While a keen sense of competition is healthy, often the competitive spirit on the sideline or at home can be overwhelming and fuel the need to perform – and possibly cheat. What’s more, children may be repeating behaviour they see endorsed at home. How different is a parent completing a school project for their child to cheating in a Xhosa vocab test? I know I am guilty of that. Perhaps I should practise what I preach. Then again, some children are just unprepared; they haven’t put in the hard yards and they know it.

magazine durban

it’s not just about the results It’s how you get there. Children need to understand that learning is a process and that tests, exams and projects are just part of the building blocks of learning. The discipline and knowledge they gain from it will be with them for life.

what children (and parents) need to know about cheating • • • • •

heating is the same as lying. C Cheating cancels out winning. The only one you are really fooling is yourself. If you do the work, there’s no need to cheat. Just because your friends are doing it, doesn’t mean it’s okay.

February 2015

resource

love libraries

Libraries are spaces where people of all ages can practise lifelong learning. They are portals of knowledge and are mostly free. MARINA ZIETSMAN brings you some reading inspiration.

Support local libraries, many of which run special programmes.

Amanzimtoti Library They offer a story time for children every Thursday, except during school holidays. During holidays, ask if any special activities are planned. Venue: Civic Centre, Hutchinson Rd, Amanzimtoti. Contact: 031 311 5883 or eml70@durban.gov.za Hillcrest Library There is story time twice a month, on the first and third Wednesday. They also offer holiday programmes over some holidays. Venue: Delamore Rd, Hillcrest. Contact: 031 311 2731 or eml93@durban.gov.za

Kloof Library They run holiday programmes over the long school holidays. Children can also make use of the dedicated study area available. Venue: Umzwilli Rd, Kloof. Contact: 031 764 7543 or eml92@durban.gov.za La Lucia Library They offer story time for children every Thursday. On Friday they offer Afrikaans tuition and a children’s book club, and on Saturday children can play chess. Holiday activities are also available. Venue: Library Lane, La Lucia. Contact: 031 572 2986 or eml76@durban.gov.za

Musgrave Library They organise holiday programmes and can provide reading lists for children as well. Venue: Glenwood Village, 397 Che Guevara Rd, Glenwood. Contact: 031 201 6646 or eml04@durban.gov.za

Umhlanga Beach Library There is a reading and craft time every Wednesday afternoon for children 2–8 years old. Children listen to a story for 30 minutes, and then enjoy 30-minute craft time. Enquire about once-off programmes for events like World Book Day. Venue: 5 Lagoon Dr, Umhlanga. Contact: 031 561 6433 or eml77@durban.gov.za

Waterfall Library They offer Wi-Fi and story time for children. Venue: Link Rd, Waterfall. Contact: 031 763 3231 or eml94@durban.gov.za

February 2015

inspiration from around the globe The Seattle Public Library, US Thousands of elementary school students from nearly 50 Seattle public schools form teams and take part in the Global Reading Challenge. Together with their coaches, they read and discuss a set of 10 books to prepare for the event. Mary Palmer, children’s librarian, says the Global Reading Challenge is modelled after a former Chicago radio show where questions about characters, plots and settings were answered by teams representing different public elementary schools. According to Global Reading Challenge rules, questions are read and repeated once. Teams have 30 seconds to write down the answer to a question. “The purpose of the Global Reading Challenge is to promote the love of reading and to have fun,” says Palmer. “This programme introduces children to a wide variety of literature and multicultural reading materials and provides a recreational outlet for readers. It makes it possible for students of all reading levels to participate in a public library activity that promotes reading as a pleasurable lifelong experience.” Heilbronn Mobile Library, Germany The Heilbronn Mobile Library, nicknamed Robi, is a light-blue lorry decorated with literary quotes in white lettering. Inside it is a bright and cheerful room with shelves filled with books, CDs and DVDs, as well as a reading mat in a window recess. “Mobile libraries should not only stand out in a positive way in the urban landscape, they should also be places where people feel at ease – places which people remember,” says Monika Ziller, director of Heilbronn City Library. “Mobile libraries bring library services to those people who live far away from the nearest stationary library,” explains Ziller. “In my opinion, mobile libraries have been unjustly neglected. If we are thinking about how best to improve the provision of library services across large areas, mobile libraries can play a genuinely important role.” As a rule, mobile libraries are not only equipped with various media, but also contain the technical equipment necessary to record loans and conduct library catalogue research.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

local libraries

Weekday mornings, Robi visits all the primary schools in Heilbronn, a city in northern Baden-Württemberg. They also stop at daycare facilities for children. “Although we focus strongly on children and families, we try not to lose sight of the older generation,” adds Ziller.

HjØrring Library, Denmark Translated from Danish, the HjØrring Library is known as “the third place”, which means it’s a space that is not home, work or school, but a meeting place. It’s “the square” and “free space” where one goes to watch, to be seen, to experience, learn and play. They believe a library encourages you to settle down and where children can explore with movement. The children’s library offers lots of opportunity for self-expression, both physically and mentally. This section has a hideout in a tree surrounded by a large green field, a bubble wall with reading tubes, a roller-coaster bookcase and a gigantic “puddle” where children can play. Electronic aids include “the animator” where they can make short, animated movies with stop-motion technique. In “the box” they can make a film starring themselves, sing a song or tell a story, and on “the quibbler” they can create rhymes or make up silly sentences. The library also caters for parents with a VIP (Very Important Parents) corner, where adults can enjoy a café latte and browse magazines and books. The library arranges six to seven cultural events each year. The festivities usually end with the whole family enjoying an evening meal together. In Denmark it is customary for both parents to work full time, so the library holds events in the late afternoon, combined with supper.

Springville Library, Utah, US The library has a special family night each month. In September last year the event was called “Garbage Family Night”, which featured a visit from one of the city’s garbage removal men and his truck. He talked about what he does, demonstrated picking up trash cans with his truck, and the children could hop on to it. There was a visit from Gus the Garbage Monster puppet and a bedtime story and treats for the children. October’s theme was Star Wars. There were activities, games, a costume contest, light sabre duels, pod racing, open gaming, a Star Wars cantina (food truck), a Wookieepedia trivia game, and more. Their newest addition to the library is called “Stories in Motion”, a class taught by a dance education instructor. She uses favourite children’s books and makes them come to life with movement and actions.

create a home library • You don’t need a lot of space for a library; a corner in the home will do, as long as it’s a dedicated space. Just make sure there is a bookshelf (not too high, so children can remove and replace books themselves), comfortable furniture (beanbags and soft pillows are winners), and adequate lighting. • If space is really an issue, build a library book cart. This works especially well for toddlers’ books. Get the basic DIY knowledge, tackle any wooden box or crate, make it splinter free, decorate it, attach wheels and add a steering mechanism. • Investing in adjustable shelves is a good idea, as you can reconfigure them as your child grows. For safety, attach the shelves to the wall with screws. You can also get a sturdy stepstool for older children so they can reach books higher on the shelves. Keep in mind: taller, rather than wider, bookcases take up less space. • You don’t need to break the bank when buying books for your children. Look for book sales, bargain hunt at markets, organise a book swap with friends and encourage family and friends to give books as gifts. Or join a library. • Get children involved in building your home library. They can help decorate the bookcases in fun colours and characters. And get them to help arrange the books, either by putting favourites together or alphabetically according to the author or titles. By creating a sense of how a library works, you’ll encourage your child to make visiting and respecting a library part of life. • Food for thought: a research team led by the University of Nevada did a comprehensive study in 2010 of 27 nations. Their conclusion was “the presence of book-lined shelves in the home, and the intellectual environment those volumes reflect, gives children an enormous advantage in school.”

online inspiration Children’s Authors Live This is the home of Hachette Children’s Books’ live interactive webcasts. They’re free to access and feature their most popular authors. You can register your school or library and watch past events, from the likes of How to Train Your Dragon’s Cressida Cowell and Cherub author Robert Muchamore. Visit childrensauthorslive.com For a list of public libraries in Durban, visit: durban.gov.za For libraries nationwide, visit: dac.gov.za/content/directory-public-librariessouth-africa

magazine durban

February 2015

calendar

You can also access the calendar online at

what’s on in february

childmag.co.za

Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by tamlyn vincent

15 sun

special events

FUN for children

only for parents

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Inchanga Choo Choo Steam Train Travel by steam train to Inchanga, where there’s a market and more.

Those Were the Days Your host, Awesome Powers, lines up a 60s party to get audiences singing along.

Edubabe They cover your training needs, offering childminder training, first aid courses and cooking classes.

Back to School Help Child Welfare Durban and District’s youth centres by donating back-to-school items.

February 2015

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Love the Rhino Join a fun run/walk fundraiser, followed by a craft market with refreshments and entertainment.

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 sunday The Johnny Cash Tribute Time: 2:30pm and 7pm. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Westville Country Club, 1 Link Rd. Cost: R170. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Those Were the Days Kick off the year with a 60s music revolution. 27 January– 8 March. Time: 8pm Tuesday–Saturday, 2pm Sunday. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: Wednesday–Saturday R145, Tuesday R110, Sunday R100. Contact: 031 566 3045 or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

3 tuesday Clifton College open evening Prospective boys in Grades 8–12 and their parents enjoy an informative guided tour. Time: 5:30pm. Venue: 102 Lambert Rd, Morningside. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 2147, bmezher@cliftonschool.co.za or visit cliftonschool.co.za Parent effectiveness training course Learn how to talk to your children and manage family conflicts. 3 February– 24 March. Time: 6pm–9pm every Tuesday. Venue: Chelsea Primary School, Durban North. Cost: R275 per session. Contact: karen@parents.co.za or visit parents.co.za

6 friday The Script Support acts include Phillip Phillips and Gangs of Ballet. Time: 8pm. Venue: ICC Durban. Cost: R295–R530. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

7 saturday 80s Rewind Festival Enjoy a massive line-up including Billy Ocean, Go West and Hazell Dean. Time: 4pm. Venue: Growthpoint Kings Park Stadium, Jacko Jackson Dr, Durban. Cost: R350–R425. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com

14 sat

15 sunday

Valentine’s Day Old Mutual Music at the Lake Featuring Kahn and the Durban City Orchestra. Time: 7pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: presold tickets R130, at the gate R150, children 8–12 years old R60. Book through Webtickets: webtickets.co.za

magazine durban

International Childhood Cancer awareness day Create awareness of childhood cancer by hosting a civvies day and donating R10 per child to Choc. Contact: dbn@choc.org.za or visit choc.org.za Love the Rhino The Play Market and Cry Africa host a 5km or 8km fun run/walk to raise funds for Project Rhino KZN, followed by a craft market. Time: walk 8am, market 9am–2pm. Venue: Giba Gorge MTB Park, Westmead. Cost: R10–R25. Contact: 071 307 0823 or visit Facebook: The Play Market

19 thursday Ashton International College open days Also 21 February. Time: 5pm–7pm 19 February, 9am–12pm 21 February. Venue: Grace Hall, Ashton International College, Ballito. Cost: free entry. Contact: 032 946 2096 or admissions@ashtonballito.co.za

11 wednesday

20 friday

Crawford Schools open day The schools cater for Grades 000–12. Time: varies. Venue: La Lucia and North Coast campuses. Cost: free. Contact: 0860 724 6657 or visit crawfordschools.co.za

Wish − Women in Singing Harmony This vocal showcase highlights the hidden talents of women from all walks of life. Ends 22 February. Time: 8pm Friday and Saturday, 2pm Sunday. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Ave, Umbilo. Cost: R100. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

13 friday Passenger Live in Durban See the UK star in action performing hits such as “Let her Go”. Time: 3pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: R395. Book through Webtickets: 086 111 0005 or visit webtickets.co.za

24 tuesday Maris Stella High School open evening and Primary School open day View the school and chat to staff and pupils.

15 February – International Childhood Cancer awareness day

24 February, Grades 8–12, 25 February, Grades 000–7. Time: tbc. Venue: 558 Stephen Dlamini Rd, Essenwood. Cost: free. Contact: 031 209 9426, ms@marisstella. co.za or visit marisstella.co.za

26 thursday Umhlanga College open day Also 27 February. Time: junior and senior primary day: 10:30am, high school: 6pm. 27 February: playgroup and preschool day: 10:30am. Venue: Umhlanga College, 21A Preston Dr, Prestondale. Cost: free. Contact: 031 566 5736 or visit umhlangacollege.co.za

27 friday Highbury Preparatory School open day Parents interested in Highbury, or the preschool Weavers’ Nest, can visit the school. Time: 8:30am–11am. Venue: Highbury Prep School, Highbury Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: free. Contact: 031 765 9806 or marketing@hps.co.za

28 saturday Midlands Ultra Triathlon Events include the Ultra Individual, Sprint Individual, Ultra Team and Sprint Team. For those 15 years and older. Ends 1 March. Time: 6:50am–4pm. Venue: Midmar Dam,

Gangs of Ballet and Matthew Mole Don’t miss this one-nightonly concert. Time: 7pm.

9 monday Othello 2015 This educational production caters for Grade 10–12 learners. Ends 13 February. Time: 9am and 12pm. Venue: Hilton College Theatre, Pietermaritzburg. Cost: learners R58. Contact: 033 383 0126 or theatre@hiltoncollege.com

The Glitter Girls Catch this Valentine’s fundraising show. Time: 7pm. Venue: Ashton International College, Ballito. Cost: tbc. Contact: 032 946 2096 or marketing1@ashtonballito.co.za

Venue: City Hill Church, Hillcrest. Cost: R150–R250.

14 sat

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

February 2015

calendar Lion’s River. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 764 1885, info@bactive.com or visit bactive.com Saturday Night Live Featuring Goldfish. Time: 7pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: presold tickets R140, at the gate R160, children 8–12 years old R60. Book through Webtickets: webtickets.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Art lessons Children 8–18 years old learn painting and drawing methods. Time: 9am–11am every Saturday. Venue: High Ridge Rd, Durban North. Cost: R130 per hour. Contact: 074 178 9388 or sdyson@ remax-panache.co.za ArtSpace View photography, paintings and drawings. Time: 9am–5pm Monday– Friday, 9am–2pm Saturday. Venue: 3 Millar Rd, Stamford Hill. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 0793 or visit artspace-durban.com

Little Cooks Club The sessions are for children 2–6 years old and junior chefs is for children 7–15 years old. Time: varies. Venue: 14 Zenith Rd, Umhlanga. Cost: varies. Contact: 073 282 7955, katiek@littlecooksclub.co.za or visit littlecooksclub.co.za Rising Star Performing Arts (RSPA) theatre school Register for performing arts classes. Time: varies. Venue: varies, throughout Durban. Cost: varies. Contact: info@rspa.co.za or visit rspa.co.za

Inchanga Choo Choo Steam Train Hop on board this stream train and travel through the Valley of 1000 Hills. 22 February. Time: departs 8:30am and 12:30pm. Venue: Kloof Station, Old Main Rd. Cost: adults R180, children 2–12 years old R130. Contact: 087 808 7715, 082 353 6003 or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play

markets

classes, talks and workshops Children’s beginner belly dance classes Fun belly dance classes for girls 5–10 years old. Time: 4pm–4:30pm every Tuesday. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R140 per month. Contact: 082 829 3658, senta@mayadance.co.za or visit mayadance.co.za Children’s Yoga Time: 11am–11:45am every Saturday. Venue: Centre of Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R40. Contact: 076 410 1410 Computers 4 Kids Equip your child with skills that will give them the edge in their school assignments and projects. Time: 10am and 11am every Saturday. Venue: suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R500 per month. Contact: 073 966 0983, umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za French classes For children 4–12 years old. Time: 3pm Tuesday, 8:30am and 9:45am Saturday. Venue: Alliance Française, 22 Sutton Crescent, Morningside. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 312 9582 or afdbn@ global.co.za HartBeat Music and Art Studio Fine art, private piano and djembe drumming lessons. Time: weekly lessons vary. Venue: Leaping Lizards, 37 Valerie Dr, Gillitts. Cost: varies. Contact: 083 470 5743

February 2015

Children develop agility, strength and coordination, plus self-confidence and teamwork skills. Booking essential. Time: 8:45am–9:30am every Sunday. Venue: Galleria Ice Rink, Amanzimtoti. Cost: varies, first lesson free. Contact: 072 237 3114 or visit durbaknights.wordpress.com

family outings

The Animal Farmyard Feed the animals and see milking demonstrations. Time: 9am–4:30pm daily, milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: R15 entry, rides R5. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za

French classes

Ice hockey

I heart Market Browse the market with its showcase of innovative, handmade and locally designed goods. 7 February. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Isaiah Ntshangase Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact: thejoyteam@gmail.com or visit iheartmarket.blogspot.com Open Markets The charity shops, tea garden and nursery are open. Time: 8am–12pm every Monday and Saturday; also 9am–1pm 22 February. Venue: Kloof and Highway SPCA, 29 Village Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 764 1212/3 The Morning Trade Find fresh ingredients, homemade specialties and wholesome, locally produced food. Time: 8am–1pm every Sunday. Venue: 8 Morrison St, Durban. Cost: free entry. Contact: info@themorningtrade.co.za or visit Facebook: The Morning Trade

Upmarket Umhlanga There’s something for everyone, from arts and fashion to food and gifts. Time: 9am–2pm every Sunday. Venue: Umhlanga Centre. Cost: varies. For more info: visit upmarketumhlanga.co.za

on stage and screen Othello 2015 9–13 February. Time: 9am and 12pm. Venue: Hilton College Theatre, Hilton Rd, Pietermaritzburg. Cost: learners R58. Contact: 033 383 0126 or theatre@ hiltoncollege.com

0148, info@meditateindurban.org or visit meditateindurban.org

on stage and screen Madame Zingara – The After Forever Tour Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Suncoast Casino, Beachfront. Cost: R440–R495. Contact: 0861 623 263, boxoffice@madamezingara.com or visit theatreofdreams.madamezingara.com

playtime and story time Children’s story time For ages 3–8 years old. Time: 10am every Saturday. Venue: The Book Boutique, 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Lucky Bean A fun, safe children’s playground and coffee shop. Time: 9am–4pm Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: R20 for the first child, R15 for each additional child per family. Contact: 082 216 3892, info@ luckybean.co or visit luckybean.co

sport and physical activities Adventure Kids Swim School Lessons for children 1–15 years old. Time: 2pm–5pm Monday–Thursday. Venue: Glenashley Preparatory School, Durban North. Cost: R400 per month. Contact: 084 624 5962 or visit adventurekidsswim. weebly.com

only for parents

1 February – The Johnny Cash Tribute

The Johnny Cash Tribute 1 February. Time: 2:30pm and 7pm. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Westville Country Club, 1 Link Rd. Cost: R170. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Those Were the Days 27 January– 8 March. Time: 8pm Tuesday–Saturday, 2pm Sunday. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za Wish – Women in Singing Harmony 20–22 February. Time: 8pm Friday–

classes, talks and workshops

The Morning Trade

Adult djembe drumming Lessons are provided by a qualified teacher. Time: tbc, Wednesday evening. Venue: Leaping Lizards, 37 Valerie Dr, Gillitts. Cost: varies. Contact: 083 470 5743 Modern Buddhism meditation programme Weekly meditation classes. Morning retreats are also available. Time: 10:30am–12pm every Saturday. Venue: 5 Dover Rd, Westville. Cost: R60 donation per class. Contact: 031 266

20 February – Wish – Women in Singing Harmony

magazine durban

Saturday, 2pm Sunday. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Ave, Umbilo. Cost: R100. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

support groups Choc – Childhood Cancer Foundation KZN For support and more info, contact: 086 111 2182, dbn@choc.org.za or visit choc.org.za Famsa Offers family and relationship counselling. Contact: 031 202 8987 or visit 30 Bulwer Rd, Glenwood, Durban Hi Hopes Home intervention programme developed specifically for children who are deaf or hard of hearing. Contact: 082 897 1632, dianne.goring@hihopes.co.za or visit hihopes.co.za Overeaters Anonymous A support group for compulsive overeaters. Contact: 011 640 2901, sms 076 274 5474 or visit oa.org.za

Gap Group Sensory play groups for moms and babies. Time: varies. Venue: 23 Levenhall Rd, Glenmore. Cost: first term R680, following terms R480. Contact: 071 885 4618 or heather.gap@gmail.com Shongololo Shakers Music, puppet and movement classes for children 0–4 years old. Time: varies. Venue: Durban North and Winston Park. Cost: varies. Contact: 060 350 7323, 083 893 5155, info@shongololoshakers.co.za or visit shongololoshakers.co.za Toptots Children 8 weeks–4 years old learn and play. Time: varies. Venue: branches in Ballito, Durban North, Glenwood, Hillcrest, Westville, PMB Hayfields and Hilton. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, admin@toptots. co.za or visit toptots.co.za

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

support groups Mothers 2 Baby For new and old moms finding motherhood challenging. Run by a clinical psychologist. Moms and babies welcome. Time: 10am–11:30am, third Thursday of every month. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, Kassier Rd. Cost: free. Contact: 061 453 3718

how to help

Shongololo Shakers

bump, baby & Tot in tow

Back to School This means new dreams for the children at Child Welfare Durban and District Child and Youth Care Centres. Put a smile on their faces by donating towards the back-to-school initiative. Any donations are welcome, including school uniforms, school bags, school shoes, stationery, lunchboxes and financial donations. Contact: 031 312 9313 or ireneo@cwdd.org.za Robin Hood Foundation They run a variety of projects, including Gogo Bags, Love the Babies and Bless a Granny and Grandpa. Help by sponsoring, donating or volunteering to pack or distribute bags. Contact: robinhoodfund@telkomsa.net or visit robinhoodfoundation.co.za

classes, talks and workshops

family marketplace

Edubabe Childminder training, first aid workshops and cooking classes. Time: varies. Venue: Glenwood. Cost: varies. Contact: 071 968 1007 or durban@ edubabe.co.za Pregnancy yoga Time: 9:30am–10:45am every Saturday. Venue: Centre for Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R260 per month. Contact: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za

playtime and story time Baby Bright Stars Interactive classes for moms and babies. Time: varies. Venue: Westville. Cost: R900. Contact: 083 777 4578, kelly@babybrightstars.co.za or visit babybrightstars.co.za

Mothers 2 Baby

don’t miss out! For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za. Information must be received by 30 January for the March issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

magazine durban

February 2015

finishing touch

“that’s my mommy!” ANÉL LEWIS is left wondering if she has more separation

February 2015

Erin, Anél and Conor

can, with his arms firmly around my neck. And some nights, he will tell me straight out that he is sleeping in my bed, not his. I thought this attachment was limited to bedtime, when he probably needs some extra comfort. But he has become quite possessive of late. There’s the sudden obsession with my skirts. He likes to hide underneath them, tuck his cars away in the

hem and use the seams as train tracks. The only problem is that if I’m not vigilant, I can find myself standing in Woolies with my undies exposed – much to the bemusement of other shoppers. And then there’s the firm admonitions he’s taken to giving anyone who messes with “my mom”. A few weeks ago, my husband put his hand on my leg and

Conor very indignantly informed Craig, “No, that’s my mommy.” And when I lent my mother one of my handbags after Conor inadvertently set hers alight (Note to self: don’t leave handbags on the stovetop if there’s a toddler in the house), he was very upset when she picked it up to go shopping. “That’s Mommy’s bag. Leave it.” Naturally, I was concerned about leaving him alone with his dad while I took Erin to her ballet concert recently. Would he cope without me in his sights? Turns out, it was me who struggled with the separation. As “the boys” left for their pizza date, there wasn’t so much as a backward glance in my direction. I couldn’t believe it, so I rushed up to the car window, saying “Conor, Conor, C-o-o-n-o-r”. He looked at me as if I was cooked (much like the hapless handbag) in the head, and said: “Bye, Mom. I’m driving with Dad now.” Anél has taken to wearing trousers when shopping, just in case Conor gets a sudden bout of separation anxiety in the checkout aisle.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: Susie Leblond Photography

onor’s first words most mornings when he opens his eyes are: “Mommy, Mommy, Mo-m-m-e-ee-e!” Sometimes I get a break, and he shouts for Thomas the Train. But mostly it’s me he’s after first thing in the morning. I’m also the last thing he calls for at night. And I’m the only person who can do that last nappy change and tuck him into bed. His father is welcome to read the bedtime story (I think he’s better at all the train sounds), but then I have to be nearby. I blame Finland. An unexpected work trip to Helsinki last year meant that I was away from the children for five days. I had to leave for the airport late in the evening, and when Conor, then almost two, woke up the next morning, I was gone. So now I don’t think he quite trusts that I will still be there the next morning if he can’t feel me near him at night. For months afterwards he refused to go to sleep unless I was in bed with him. Now he will fall asleep in his own room, but by 5am I will feel him crawl in next to me, and he will lie as close to me as he

anxiety issues than her son… who has a lot.

education

managing school The new school year has kicked off. The challenge now is finding time for everything in the week, getting homework done and staying healthy. TAMLYN VINCENT rounds up four tips.

ILLUSTRATIONS: shutterstock.com

1. time management Children who learn how to manage time are more likely to cope with the pressures and responsibilities of school. Children often feel overwhelmed by tests, projects and homework, says Nikki Wates, founder of a course designed to help students with schoolwork. But they aren’t always taught the skills to deal with an everincreasing workload. Parents can help by teaching their children how to plan and manage their time. “Break the workload into smaller chunks that have their own allocated time,” says Wates, “so that children can see the steps and consider how much time each one needs.” This also makes tasks more manageable. According to Wates, time management is an integral part of being able to live a healthy, balanced life. There is a lot of emphasis placed on achievement and success, and without planning the days or weeks, children end up always busy. But they also need time to play. “Parents should allocate time for this as well,” advises Wates. Time management tools: • Get your child an alarm clock or watch. • Put up a daily planner where they can fill in tasks and tick them off. Download one here: childmag.co.za/downloads • Get children to use a diary.

health checks

2. homework help

4. food for thought

Some children are happy to get homework done, but many find it tedious. Helping them to understand why they need to do homework and how it will benefit them can motivate them, says Wates. You could also try a reward chart. Schedule homework time every day, so your children learn that homework isn’t negotiable. Make sure this isn’t too late, when children may be tired or grumpy, and schedule regular breaks. “Children can usually concentrate for two to three minutes per year of their age before they need a break,” says Wates. So an eight year old will need a break after 15 to 25 minutes. Children also need your support. This may be in the form of constructive feedback or praise, or you may need to model enthusiastic learning behaviour. “Sometimes helping too much isn’t helping at all,” notes Wates. While you can sit with younger children and guide them through their homework, your help should decrease as they advance. Wates advises parents to try and let children learn from their mistakes, like when they don’t hand in homework or they do something incorrectly, so that they can become independent learners. If your child is struggling, you may want to speak to his teacher to find out what is expected. You should also inform teachers of any problems your child has with concentration, not understanding the work or having too much work. If problems persist, consider getting a tutor.

Children need a healthy breakfast and a nutritious lunch to think, learn and play at their best. Lucy Kewley, from a children’s nutrition programme and Claire McHugh, a specialist paediatric dietician in Durban, suggest avoiding high sugar content in breakfast cereals – 20g sugar per 100g is too much. Rather choose oats, especially whole oats, which are low GI and full of fibre. Soak them overnight then cook until soft. Serve with nuts, raisins and honey. Other breakfast choices include baked beans or poached eggs on toast, or cheese and tomato omelettes. Keep lunches fresh with a bottle of frozen water, say Kewley and McHugh, and “pack small bite-size goodies; food that children can just grab-and-go works well”. Also include something from all the food groups in their lunchbox: • Use brown bread for sandwiches, with fillers like peanut butter or cream cheese and cucumber. Or add a simple pasta with herbs, olive oil, tomatoes and tuna. • Add veggie sticks and hummus or chopped fruit – bananas, apples and naartjies work well. • Get pre-packed nuts and dried fruit or mix your own. Avoid sugar-coated versions. • Yoghurt is a source of calcium. Add some berries to mix in and a spoon. • For children who are at school for longer, add protein such as chicken pieces, or a hardboiled egg – plunge eggs into ice water once cooked to stop them getting too smelly.

3. sitting pretty Set up a workstation in their bedroom or in a communal area with limited distractions and foot traffic, or create a portable workstation using a caddy for supplies. “Doing homework and studying on a bed should always be avoided,” says Wates. During homework time, keep distractions and interruptions to a minimum. Turn off the television and radio. Also make sure the lighting is good and that children are seated properly and comfortably. Homework supplies should be easily accessible. Consider doubling up on the stationery that children take to school, so they don’t have to bring it home each day. Also keep other equipment such as art supplies and a calculator nearby. Include plenty of storage, use different coloured folders for different subjects and label everything clearly.

While you can sit with younger children and guide them through their homework, your help should decrease as they advance.

• I mmunisation cards need to be up to date. • Dental check-ups should be done every six months. Remind children about preventative tooth care. Download a teeth eruption chart here: childmag.co.za/downloads • Deworm the whole family and the pets every six months. • Eye checks are necessary when children display warning signs such as redness, swelling, watering or other complaints. If your child or his teacher says he has difficulty seeing in class, visit an optometrist. • Hearing and speech tests may be necessary if children experience difficulty hearing, or have speech problems or delays.

• L ice proliferate in warmer weather. Check for them, especially if your school has issued a warning. Regularly wash hats, towels and brushes that go to school and buy preventative shampoo if there is an outbreak. • Multivitamins can help boost your child’s immune system. Ask your healthcare practitioner for advice. • Medical information: if your child suffers from allergies, or has a medical condition like asthma, let the school know. Send emergency contacts, medical information and any necessary medication to school. • Sunscreen should be applied every morning before school.