Child magazine | DBN June 2014

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

assessing

developmental

milestones

why moms need

me-time second-hand smoke

and children

fun

ways to keep your children busy over the holidays

healthy

the

www.childmag.co.za

June 2014

free

parenting issue

sleep training

plus

health

do you take note of age restrictions? when grown-up children return to the nest

education

entertainment

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Welcome to the parenting issue.

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial

We receive a steady stream of emails at Child magazine from parents desperately seeking help. I can empathise. Some days parenting feels like I’m running an obstacle course – clear one hurdle and the next one looms. My daughters have their ups and downs, which is normal, but the downs make clearing those hurdles seem impossible.

Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Quite honestly, parenting often seems like a series of face-plants, because I can’t prevent my foot from catching the crossbar.

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • studio@childmag.co.za Mariette Barkhuizen • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Lisa Waterloo • dbnsales@childmag.co.za

And yet, despite everything, parenting is still the most fun to be had on the planet. You see, my daughters have

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Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

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Durban’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios,

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a wicked sense of humour. They make me laugh till I cry and I have to sit down holding my stomach. Most often, the laughter is at my expense, but they are not averse to a healthy dose of selfdeprecation either.

When my family laughs, I know all will be well, now and when my children leave home – just as long as they keep coming back for mealtimes, filled with the laughter that expresses triumph over the trials and tribulations of life.

Happy Father’s Day! It’s precious to be one and to have one. I miss mine so much.

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but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no

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obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher.

We take care to ensure our articles, and other editorial content, are accurate and balanced, but cannot accept responsibility for loss, damage or inconvenience that may arise from reading them.

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June 2014

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contents june 2014

7 upfront

regulars

3 a note from lisa

6 pregnancy news – designer babies Tamlyn Vincent looks at DNA

5 over to you readers respond

testing on embryos

7 best for baby – put your fears to bed if you stick to a routine, the

features

battle against babies not sleeping is almost won. By Lucille Kemp

12 reasonable restriction Christina Castle admits that age restrictions have a place in this world

14 reaction time parents should have an action plan for children who suffer from severe allergies. By Vanessa Papas

16 the meaning of milestones Lisa Lazarus explains early developmental assessments for preschoolers

18 balancing me-time moms need to know when to let go and when to be present. By Helena Kingwill

20 the boomerang child Gary Koen explains the essence behind this modern family phenomenon

9 dealing with difference – hair today, gone tomorrow is your child suffering from hair loss? It might be Loose Anagen Syndrome, says Marina Zietsman

22 upfront with paul Paul Kerton gives advice on how to protect our children from the winter chill

23 resource – a club for everyone the holidays are sorted with this handy guide of activities and programmes for children.

Compiled by Tamlyn Vincent

26 what’s on in june 30 finishing touch children are like sponges, so we have got to watch ourselves, says Cassandra Shaw

31 a good read for the whole family

health 8 where there’s smoke...

Vanessa Papas warns against the debilitating effects of second-hand smoke

classified ads 27 family marketplace 29 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by: Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

Claudia De Nobrega Photography • claudiadenobrega.com

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June 2014

magazine durban

letters

au pair blues I employed an au pair, because as a mom I thought that’s what was best for my child. I could barely afford it, but did it for my child’s wellbeing. I was also desperate to find someone of the same faith (Muslim), thinking that we would have similar values. Au pairs of my faith are very hard to come by, so I was very limited.

I conducted a few interviews and chose the one that I thought best suited our family. She turned out to be a nightmare. After a couple of months, her true colours showed. Here are my tips for parents who are looking at employing an au pair…

Check all the information. Check qualifications such as first-aid certificates. Even if a copy of a certificate is supplied, phone the company offering the course to double check. If no work reference numbers are given, find the company’s phone number on the internet.

Applicants not supplying contact information are more than likely hiding something. Don’t only check references for childcare experience. This is important with regard to absenteeism and the nature of the person. The more you research, the more you will find out. Don’t be satisfied with one good reference. Contact all references, even if a reference letter is supplied. Check that the applicant did the work they claim to have done on their CV and not merely that he/she has worked there. By law an

employer has to supply the employee with a certificate of service. The reference letter should also preferably be on a letterhead. Phone the company and speak to the person referenced. I am aware of a case where the applicant had arranged for a friend to pretend to be the former employer. Be wary of applicants who have gaps in their employment history, even if such gaps seem justified, such as illness. Be wary of applicants who have short periods of employment. Just because an applicant is educated and has a good vocabulary does not mean that they are mature or responsible enough to look after your child or any other child for that matter. Look out for websites that only act as a platform for au pairs to chat. These websites don’t necessarily do training and placements. Draw up a three-month contract for a new au pair so that you may test the waters.

Nuraan Adam

congrats, child magazine!

Huge congratulations on Child magazine turning 10; more specifically I would like to commend you and your contributors for the incredible work that you do. To have witnessed the magazine’s growth over the years is inspiring. You have taken the education of parents and teachers to another level. I am often referring parents and teachers to articles in your publication. This is

over to you the school uniform debate In reply to Suzy Oliveira’s letter (April 2014) on expensive school uniforms: it is unfortunate that the cost of school uniforms is so stifling. Maybe the parent body can explore different options.

Our school has a shop, where learners who have outgrown their uniforms, or don’t need them for some reason, donate their uniforms to the shop and they are then sold at a fraction of the price. The monies go to the school or they go to another worthy cause.

Another option would be to put pressure on the school to adopt a standard uniform that can be reasonably purchased at chain stores. If a badge is necessary, then that could be sold separately and sewn onto the shirt or blazer by hand. Perhaps this would reduce the cost. There might be other feasible alternatives, but this initiative must come to the school from the parent body.

Michele Engelberg

online response In response to the online article “tub time” where Tamlyn Vincent gives five bath time activities for children to play in the tub and learn at the same time I love these ideas. Definitely gets me thinking differently about bath time with my daughter and son. I have

Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine

magazine durban

a magazine that is, in my mind, of an international standard, both in its content and the progressive philosophy of childhood that underpins all its articles.

This truly is a South African magazine to be proud of, and the fact that parents and teachers are able to access this resource free of charge is nothing short of incredible.

Though I am a small contributor to the educational landscape of our country and have a very small voice in the greater scheme of things, please accept my heartfelt thanks and gratitude for the amazing work that you are doing.

Justin Skea Preparatory School Head, St Cyprians, Cape Town

thanks for a great read My day begins well when I drop my daughter at preschool and find our copy of Child magazine on her shelf. I loved Nicole’s letter titled “loving vermin” (May 2014). If she weren’t already in the field of creative writing or journalism, I would recommend she consider it. Well-written and beautifully descriptive, she had me grinning through the entire piece as I pictured this interesting household and could so identify with the whole scene. Keep up the great work Child magazine.

Liesl

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

always allowed my children to play in the bath, but this definitely brings bath time to a whole new level. I am going to start incorporating these ideas and it sounds like fun times ahead. Thank you for a great magazine. I look forward each month to receiving it from my children’s school. A very informative and interesting read.

Anonymous In response to the article “easing the itch of baby eczema” Our little boy had terrible eczema. We tried various remedies, but nothing worked. About a year ago I stumbled across a range of local hypoallergenic products for children. With some advice from their chemist and a new body care regime, which cut out all synthetic products and petrochemical-based products, he’s been eczema free ever since.

Jean In response to the online article “bullying – the parent’s guide” At my daughter’s school someone wrote “Loosa” on a picture that a girl drew of herself. These pictures were put up in the corridor of the primary school, which houses Grade RR to Grade 4. I am quite perturbed by this as it is extremely unusual that someone

randomly picked her picture and wrote over her face.

This form of passive-aggression is cowardly, hurtful and plain mean. How can children be so cruel?

Concerned parent My daughter just started Grade 2 at a new school and there is a boy in her class who is always calling her names, shoving and tripping her. I brought this to the teacher’s attention. She promised to look into it and then suggested moving my daughter to another class.

My question to her was: “Why is the bully not moved?“ Her response was that the boy has been at the school since last year and my daughter is still new, so she can make friends in a new class.

I refused the teacher’s suggestion, because I feel we will be telling my daughter that it is her fault that she is being bullied by moving her to another class and, in doing this, it may encourage the boy to bully other children.

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We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

June 2014

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pregnancy news

designer babies

i

magine being able to give children a life free from the worry of genetic disease by eliminating genetic abnormalities from the very start. With the development of genetic testing on embryos, these possibilities are a reality.

Preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) is being done more frequently with in vitro fertilisation (IVF), to test embryos’ DNA before putting them back in the womb. Dr Lawrence Gobetz, an infertility specialist in Joburg, explains that there are two reasons to biopsy embryos. The first is to perform preimplantation genetic screening (PGS), where the number of chromosomes is checked. If there aren’t 24 chromosomes, the embryo is at risk of Down’s syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. PGS can improve the success rates of pregnancy, says Jaysen Knezovich, laboratory director at Genesis Genetics. “Embryos that are genetically normal are more compatible with life,” says Knezovich, so failure rates are reduced.

But Gobetz cautions that it’s possible to find no normal embryos, especially with older couples, thereby excluding them from IVF. Preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), the other reason to biopsy embryos, is done to exclude genetic diseases such as Tay Sachs or cystic fibrosis, that one or both parents have or carry, says Gobetz. A specific test is designed around the genetic profiles of the parents, to identify a genetic condition in an embryo in order to eliminate it.

For many couples, going through fertility treatments is a difficult experience. Taryn, a mom in Cape Town, found her treatments stressful and invasive, especially when she and her husband didn’t know what the problem was. “PGT provides insight into the possible reason for pregnancy failures,” says Knezovich, which is valuable for the doctor and patient, especially if it means preventing the trauma of more pregnancy losses. Taryn points out that treatments are expensive anyway, so she would rather pay more for these tests and have answers. And couples that discover IVF isn’t a viable option will at least have that answer.

DNA testing on embryos can provide hopeful parents with

going forward

For some people, the issue isn’t the cost but the ethics. There are religious arguments and others claiming potential misuse.

Thanks to advances in DNA profiling it could soon be possible to get all sorts of genetic information from an embryo, giving rise to concerns about creating designer babies.

According to Knezovich the debates are mostly unresolved.

In the meantime, genetic testing is helping to build healthy families, although there are legal regulations. An embryo’s sex can be determined, for example, but performing gender selection without a sound medical reason is illegal in South Africa.

Genetic testing still has a long way to go, with new methods only in experimental phases. And even when they do become available they are likely to be very expensive. For now, Gobetz hopes that PGT will become more cost effective in the next few years, giving more couples the chance to have a healthy child.

the answers they need, but is it right? TAMLYN VINCENT

family value While PGD can help to exclude genetic diseases, it can’t tell how many chromosomes an embryo has. So Gobetz says it makes sense for couples doing PGD to also do PGS, but this is costly. PGS currently costs around R22 000, while PGD can cost R35 000 for one test.

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June 2014

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

takes a closer look.

best for baby

put your fears to bed Your child will be sleeping if you stick to routine, are consistent in your efforts and you go about training good

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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sleeping habits gently and lovingly. By LUCILLE KEMP

ape Town-based mom Trudy found herself sleep deprived and frazzled for three straight years. Her first-born, Phyllis, just wouldn’t sleep. “The first time I considered sleep training was when Phyllis was about nine months old. Controlled crying was the method advised,” she says. An accumulated 90 minutes into the first (and last) session, Phyllis was inconsolable, Trudy’s last nerve was well and truly worked and she had kicked her husband out of the house. On many other desperate occasions Trudy would stow away in her car in an attempt to drive her restless daughter to sleep – Milnerton to Melkbos and back – to no avail.

Phyllis’s sleep problems may have become infinitely more resolvable if Trudy had known the advice of Sister Lilian Paramor: “With little ones the goal should not be to sleep through as their parents have been led to believe.

Finding practical ways of getting sufficient rest, even if not in one long stretch, is actually what is called for.”

While you may be advised, how you get there is your call. “If co-sleeping is working for your family, why change

magazine durban

it? However, if co-sleeping is affecting your marriage or no-one is sleeping anyway, you may need to check your routine,” says Sister Ann Richardson.

teaching healthy sleeping patterns “The central aim of all sleep training is to train a baby to go to sleep without help,” says Anne Gethin and Beth Macgregor in the book Helping Your Baby Sleep. Given this, Sister Ann says to be aware of the “awake” time of your child as this will help you focus on preventing overtiredness, over stimulation and overfeeding, which all too often causes a desperate parent to fall back on feeding, rocking, bouncing or going for drives to induce sleep.

Keep your environment as womb-like and conducive to sleep as possible – wind down in the late afternoon to foster a calm atmosphere in the home.

When you’re in the throes of sleep training, things can get hairy and experts’ advice seems to repeatedly point to finding ways for calm to reign. The Parent Centre in Cape Town, which runs a moms’ circle, says that parents find a lot of comfort in sharing their experiences and lessons with

each other: “Some moms have tried leaving a night light on, playing a CD softly in the background and ensuring that TV noise is kept to a minimum.” Sister Lilian advises that you “don’t count the number of times your child wakes at night; in fact, pretend like it doesn’t matter. Don’t jump at the first sound your baby makes, but don’t ever let them cry inconsolably either. Plan ahead for wakeful nights by having everything at hand that you might need – keep the lights low and conversation to a minimum as you do what you have to right there in bed so that all that needs to be done is simply cuddle down together to continue sleep.”

helpful reading • S ister Lilian’s Babycare Companion by Lilian Paramor (NB Publishers) • Sleep Sense by Ann Richardson and Megan Faure (Metz Press) • Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach (Knopf Publishing Group)

June 2014

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health

where there’s smoke…

Second-hand smoke puts your child at risk of developing

oung children are more vulnerable to second-hand smoke than adults. “This is because their developing lungs receive a higher concentration of inhaled smoke than older lungs,” says Ayesha Seedat, a registered dietician at the Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa. “Children also have a faster breathing rate – as many as 60 (inhalations) a minute compared to that of a normal adult at 14 to 18 times a minute, which means they inhale second-hand smoke faster than adults.”

Babies and children exposed to second-hand smoke on a daily basis have more than triple the risk of developing lung cancer later in life compared to those growing up in smoke-free environments. “Their risk of having breathing problems, ear infections and tooth decay are also increased, along with serious illnesses such as meningitis, asthma, tuberculosis, heart disease and cancer. Babies exposed to second-hand smoke have an increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome, or cot death, while smoking during pregnancy leads to increased risks of miscarriage, still birth, low birth weight and premature birth. Children of mothers who smoked during pregnancy are more likely to develop asthma by the age of seven and more likely to suffer delays in their physical and mental development,” says Seedat.

what’s in that puff?

Magdalene Seguin, clinical specialist at the Cancer Association of South Africa (Cansa), says exposure of children to tobacco smoke is especially harmful in confined areas, indoors and in cars. “Second-hand smoke consists of both the smoke that is exhaled from the lungs of smokers and the smoke that is given off by burning tobacco between puffs. There is no safe level of exposure to second-hand smoke and even brief exposure can be harmful.” About half of the children worldwide, around 700 million, are exposed to second-hand smoke, particularly at home.

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She adds, “A single cigarette smoked in a room with poor ventilation generates much higher concentrations of toxic substances in the air than normal, everyday activities in the city. Toxic compounds from second-hand smoke linger in the air for an extended period of time; its nicotine compounds are deposited on household surfaces and in dust. The air quality inside a car with someone smoking is worse than the air quality found in smoky pubs.”

smoking regulations The Tobacco Products Control Act of 1993 makes health warnings on cigarette boxes law, prohibiting tobacco sales to persons under the age of 18 years old and regulating smoking in public places. Cigarette advertising and sponsorship has been banned since 1999. Adults may not smoke in a car when there is a passenger younger than 12 years old. Smoking is not allowed in premises, including private homes used for commercial childcare activities such as crèches, schooling or tutoring. The tobacco industry may not use “viral” marketing such as themed parties to target young people. Cigarette vending machines that sell tobacco products cannot be used to sell crisps, chocolates and other products that would appeal to children.

did you know?

Apart from nicotine, more than 4 000 dangerous chemical compounds are created in the smoke of a burning cigarette. At least 40 are known carcinogens that cause cancer in humans and many are highly poisonous. They include substances such as butane, found in lighter fuel, cadmium, found in batteries and formaldehyde, also used to preserve dead bodies.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

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chronic diseases. By VANESSA PAPAS

dealing with difference

hair today, gone tomorrow When grown-ups start losing hair, we often joke about it, but hair loss in children is no laughing matter. MARINA ZIETSMAN looks at Loose Anagen Syndrome.

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our six-year-old daughter has short, thin, fair hair.

When she wakes up in the mornings, clumps of her locks are left behind on the pillow. When she removes her swimming cap, she also removes bunches of hair. When a friend accidently pulls her hair while they play, she pulls out a batch of hair. Loose Anagen Syndrome (LAS) is not physically painful, but it can be psychologically damaging.

medically speaking LAS is a recently diagnosed syndrome, which is believed to be a genetic disorder. Research has shown that the syndrome affects mostly girls between the ages of two and six years old who have fair or blonde hair. According to the American Hair Loss Association, it is not clear why the hair is loose, “but the root sheaths that normally surround and protect the hair shaft in the skin are not produced properly.” It also seems that because the root sheaths are not fully formed, the hair fibre is poorly anchored in the hair follicle. It may also be a keratin disorder, which is hereditary.

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

dealing with LAS There is no cure for LAS, but in most cases the condition improves as children grow older and disappears completely in puberty. Elma Titus, a trichologist with over 35 years’ experience, suggests parents should consult a dermatologist or trichologist if LAS is suspected.

Trichology is a branch of dermatology that deals with the scientific study of the health of hair and the scalp.

Specialists will perform two basic tests to confirm LAS: the hair-pull test and the hair-plug trichogram.

For daily care, Titus suggests the following: “Five percent Minoxidil solution applied twice daily helps to stimulate the hair follicles and prolong the growth cycle.

Aminexil and procapil can also be used as it keeps the hair longer in the growth phase. It also ensures better anchorage of the hair follicle and improves circulation.”

Titus recommends that you use good shampoos designed to stimulate hair growth as well as conditioners to lubricate and nourish it, “but get these products from reputable companies.” It’s also important to be gentle when washing LAS hair and to gently massage the scalp, as this stimulates the blood flow, which brings nourishment to the roots and stimulates growth.

“Sufferers should also drink enough water and consider a protein-rich diet because hair consists of keratin, a protein material,” says Titus. magazine durban

how to explain it to your child Natalie de Gouveia, a registered counsellor and play therapist from Linksfield in Joburg, says it may seem daunting to try explaining LAS to your child, especially considering you don’t have all the answers.

De Gouveia gives three tips to help you through the process: • educate yourself “Find out all there is to know about LAS; the causes, the symptoms and treatments,” says De Gouveia.

There is no cure for LAS, but in most cases the condition improves as children grow older and disappears completely in puberty.

• establish how severe your child’s case is “Every case is unique and the more you understand your specific situation, the better you are equipped to handle it and explain it to your child,” she adds.

• talk to your child about the condition “Keep the explanation age-appropriate,” says De Gouveia. “If your child is three years old, you shouldn’t use technical terms that will confuse them. Keep it simple: ‘Do you know how your brain tells your eyes to open and close? Well, something in your brain is telling your hair not to grow properly.’” De Gouveia says as a child grows older you

how LAS presents itself • H air is lustreless and does not grow.

• Sparse growth of thin, fine hair and patchy baldness, and hair that does not grow longer.

• Hair can be easily and painlessly pulled out of the scalp, though the hair is not fragile.

• Hair at the back of the head or skull tends to be rough and does not lie flat.

• Hair also appears frizzy, unmanageable and unruly.

• You will find decreased hair density and unruly hair, especially in children.

• LAS hardly ever presents itself in other parts of the body that have hair.

can give more detailed explanations. Then reassure your child: “Tell them that boys and girls of all ages and races can get LAS. No-one knows yet why this happens, but it is not because of something they did. The good news is that LAS just makes hair fall out. It doesn’t hurt or make you tired, like the flu or chicken pox. You can carry on playing and having fun.”

coping with the emotional effects of LAS in the classroom...

Having LAS, or any other physical deformity, can be isolating and make a child feel vulnerable. “For a child who is ‘different’ from their peers, teasing, stares and general isolation may be common,” says De Gouveia.

This will inevitably lead to a low self-esteem. It could also lead to the child avoiding school, which will negatively impact academic performance. “A child in this position is aware of her difference and, if unaddressed, feelings of shame and guilt will accompany the already muddled feelings,” De Gouveia says. “Because of the shame involved, the child may actually feel that their ‘problem’ is not something to talk about.”

De Gouveia reiterates that it’s important for parents of a child with LAS to provide support structures in all areas of the child’s life, including school. Approach the child’s school directly, and together with the teachers assess whether this is an issue of confidentiality. “If this is the case, the child and parents’ wishes need to be respected,” says De Gouveia. “LAS itself, after all, will not hold the child back from being involved in social and school activities. If confidentiality is not an issue, teachers can help by educating peers about LAS.” She says peers become more aware of what it feels like to be “different” when a caring and supportive environment is created. Activities designed to awaken tolerance, awareness and respect should help the child with LAS feel comfortable in the classroom and in social situations.

and at home…

“You’ll be surprised at how many people are going through the same situation and who share your feelings,” says De Gouveia, who recommends that parents find a support group. “If your child is being bullied or struggling with low self-esteem, you may want to attend therapy.” Your child will be able to express himself in a safe, comfortable way while gaining confidence and learning that they are not that different after all, just unique.

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your child’s life

reasonable restriction CHRISTINA CASTLE confesses to pushing the boundaries of age restrictions without even realising it, but admits they’re there for a good reason.

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movies and tv shows I recently took a long haul flight with my 13 year old. I sleep well on a plane. My son, however, does not and opted for a movie marathon instead. Between Cape Town and Sydney he watched three movies with age restrictions beyond his years.

“You watched Django Unchained?” I asked in disbelief as we stood at baggage collection.

“Mom, it’s an Oscar-nominated movie,” he replied, as if that made it any better.

“It’s a Quentin Tarantino film. It’s so inappropriate.”

While you can control what your children watch in your own home or at the cinema, you can’t necessarily control the movies and TV shows your child is going to be exposed to outside the home. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve told my sons they can’t watch a particular movie at home because they are simply not

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Games like these, exposed to the incorrect age groups, can be damaging. Games like these are now sitting in my underwear drawer. They’ll never think to look for them there.

books

old enough, only to be told “but I’ve seen it before – at Henry’s place.”

And just for the record, I did watch Django Unchained on our flight back to Cape Town, and yes, it did require damage control. Lots of it. It’s a great movie though, just not for 13 year olds.

Around the age of 12 my boys both discovered Spud.

Everyone was reading it. And while I was over the moon that they had finally picked up a book and were so keen to read, the content (although highly appropriate for what they were soon to become) was, I felt, a little out of their reach.

My husband (who is a boy) rolled his eyes and called me a prude. So I got over it and they klapped the series in no time.

However, there are some little readers who are years ahead of their age in terms of their reading abilities and perfectly capable of flying through the likes of The Hunger Games or The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Seductive vampires and reality killing shows are a bit different to a 13 year old who is waiting for his testicles to drop.

My advice: read what they are reading. Chapter for chapter if need be. It’s a great way to connect with your child and opens the way for interesting conversation on sometimes difficult or challenging subjects. Also, you’ll be exposed to a whole genre of books that you won’t necessarily find at book club.

gaming

music and concerts

While many TV and computer games are absolutely harmless, there are some that are “so not”. And, wait for it, another confession – we own a few of the “so not” variety. I put it down to ignorance on my part. Oh, don’t get me wrong, my boys knew exactly what they were getting when they begged me to buy them Grand Theft Auto (with their pocket money, I must add). “We play it all the time at Michael’s.” I just didn’t pay any attention to the age restriction on the box. I didn’t even think to look for it. I grew up in an era of Space Invaders and Pac-Man. But ignorance is bliss, until you realise your children are blowing each other’s virtual brains out.

Little Monsters beware! While I hear Lady Gaga puts on a fabulous show, it may be a little hard for some six year olds to digest. Or even the odd 46 year old. Am I being a prude again? No-one could have predicted that giant vagina. And I am just so glad I didn’t have to explain that one to an unsuspecting Little Monster.

But let’s not only point fingers at Lady Gaga; commercial music in general is loaded with dodgy lyrics, innuendo and visuals. And while most of it goes straight over those beautiful little heads, there will be something that sticks. We are exposed to it through every electronic medium, whether we like it or not. Listen to what your

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

kay, confession time. My children grew up on a diet of Monty Python. There was no escaping it. I blame their father for this and he quite happily accepts full responsibility. I think he’s proud of it actually. “Better than Bieber,” he’d say. And while my eldest was quite entertaining when he performed his own rendition of “silly walks” in a Grade 2 “show and tell” to an audience that may have found him just a little bit quirky, my youngest’s recital of “sit on my face and tell me that you love me” to a class of eight year olds was neither entertaining nor quirky. It was just downright out of line.

Whether you like it or not, age restrictions are applied to much of our media and entertainment in an attempt to protect our children from subject matter that is just not appropriate. While these age restrictions work primarily as a guide, it is the responsibility of parents and caregivers to practise them. And no matter how vigilant we may be to restrict our children from viewing and experiencing unsuitable material, they are going to be exposed to it.

child is listening to. And flip that switch if you don’t think it’s appropriate.

social media This is a scary one and requires vigilance on your part particularly. The concept of social media is still quite new to us. And while the likes of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest are a great way to connect with friends and

other social networks, they also expose users to potential threat and danger. We need a certain maturity to operate in that space and need to understand the consequences.

Many teens and adults get it wrong. How can we expect a tween to get it right? The age restriction for many social media platforms is 13. Yet there are so many children younger than 13 on these networks with their parents’ consent – potentially exposed to strangers every time they

go online. Parents need access to their children’s social network profiles no matter how old their children are. They need to say “you are too young for this, now go outside and kick a ball.”

Oh dear, I think I may have said too much. And best I end this article before I incriminate myself further. But let me attempt a little redemption first by asking that you acknowledge and respect these age restrictions.

classifications In South Africa, there are eight classifications that the Film and Publication Board applies to film: A: It means an all-ages category that is suitable for all.

PG: It means an all-ages category, but cautions sensitive viewers and indicates that parents and caregivers are in the best position to decide whether or not a child in their care may view the film or DVD for home entertainment purposes.

7–9: It means that the material is not suitable for children under the age of seven.

A parent or caregiver may decide if the material is appropriate for children ages 7–9 in their care, and if it is of particular entertainment or educational value for such children. Children of 7–9 years old may not be allowed to watch a film classified 7–9 unless accompanied by an adult.

10–12: It means that the material is not suitable for children under the age of 10.

A parent or caregiver may decide if the

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material is appropriate for children and to decide whether or not it is of particular entertainment or educational value for children aged 10–12 in their care.

Children from the ages of 10–12 years old may not be allowed to watch a film classified 10–12 unless accompanied by an adult.

16: It means that the material is not suitable for persons under the age of 16.

18: It means that the material is not suitable for persons under 18 years old.

Know your letters. These often accompany the above classifications: S – Sexual activity V – Violence L – Language P – Prejudice N – Nudity B – Blasphemy H – Horror D – Substance abuse SV – Sexual violence Classifications for TV and computer games are different and can be viewed at the Film and Publication Board website: visit fpb.org.za

X18: It means only a holder of a licence to conduct the business of an adult premises, set out in section 24 of the act, may distribute the film to persons older than 18 or exhibit such content to such persons within such premises.

XX: It means the material may not be distributed or exhibited in public by anyone and also not in the adult premises set out in section 24 of the act. In the case of child pornography it may also not be possessed anywhere.

June 2014

13

health

reaction time When faced with a child having a severe allergic attack, time is of the essence. VANESSA PAPAS explains why an action plan

ore and more cases are being reported worldwide of children dying or suffering multiple heart attacks at school following a major allergic attack. A recent survey by Pharma Dynamics, which involved 800 learners between the ages of 10 and 18 and teachers from independent, government and Model C schools across the country, found that none of the students nor the teachers knew what to do in case of a severe allergic attack, putting children’s lives at risk.

According to international studies the incidence of anaphylaxis (a serious allergic reaction that is rapid in onset and may even cause death) is on the increase. It’s as simple as a teacher offering a child a treat for good behaviour, without knowing about the child’s allergy, or children sharing their lunchboxes with their friends who may be allergic.

Dr Michael Levin, head of the division of paediatric allergy at the Red Cross Children’s Hospital, explains that the main causes of allergic attacks in children is foods, with peanuts being the biggest culprit. Other foods include milk,

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egg, wheat, soy, fish and shellfish. Certain medications can also cause reactions, such as antibiotics (penicillins and cephalosporins), painkillers (aspirin, NSAIDS, opiates) and radio contrast media (X-ray based imaging techniques).

Bee and wasp stings are also a major cause. Rarer causes are blood products, vaccines and allergen extracts in people undergoing injection immunotherapy.

“There are certain common signs that indicate a child is having a severe allergic attack,” says Levin. “Look out for urticarial rashes (hives), angioedema (swelling) and tingling of the palms and soles. Signs of severe anaphylactic attacks include upper airway (high-pitched ‘grating’ sound, coughing, throat clearing) or lower airway (wheezing, difficulty breathing) obstruction, abdominal issues (pain and vomiting), loss of blood pressure (leading to fast weak pulses and loss of consciousness) and central nervous signs (feeling of panic or extreme lethargy).”

Levin says it’s important that parents and teachers know the difference between a mild episode and a severe

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

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is essential to ensure your child is treated quickly.

anaphylactic attack. “For mild attacks, an antihistamine is usually sufficient, but the child should not be left alone. They should be closely observed, their relatives called, and if they have an adrenaline injection (such as epipen), it should be urgently located in case the attack progresses. For severe attacks the adrenaline should be injected into the large muscle of the thigh immediately.

If the child is asthmatic a dose of their reliever pump should be administered (six to 10 puffs, one at a time) and the antihistamine given. The ambulance must be called and notified that this is an emergency. If there is no improvement in five minutes a second dose of adrenaline should be given.”

living with an allergic child

our power to avoid nuts, we have had a few close calls.

A friend brought around some homemade soup a family member had cooked for her. When Ross broke out in hives and started complaining of stomach cramps I knew he was having an allergic reaction, but had no idea where the nut products had come from. After investigating, it turned out that the vegetables in the soup had been sautéed in peanut oil. There have been a few other cases over the years, so we always have to be on our toes.”

Lori explains that having a food allergic child changes what you would think of as a “normal” life. “You develop a new ‘normal’ where you read labels on every new product you consider buying. You adapt recipes, leaving out the nuts if they are present and can be left out. You always ask if your child has his meds on him when he goes anywhere.

And you worry a lot when they go out on trips with their school or with friends. My son has also had to accept his condition. He has developed a system where he asks about ingredients before he eats anything that is not homecooked. He’s had to endure bullying at school (boys in his class throwing peanuts at him) until the school was alerted to it and put a stop to it. He used to be very paranoid about nuts and coming into contact with them, but has calmed down as he’s grown older. I have become an allergy advocate as a result. My biggest achievement has been educating and training the staff of my child’s school in recognising an allergic reaction and what to do about it.”

It’s important that parents and teachers know the difference between a mild episode and a severe anaphylactic attack.

Lori Bentley from Joburg knows first hand how challenging it is to have a child with a severe allergy. At just days old, Lori’s son Ross was diagnosed with eczema and later developed asthma. When he was five years old he suffered a near-fatal severe allergic attack.

“He was bouncing on a hammock that had collected a layer of pollen and had a severe asthma attack from inhaling the pollen,” says Lori. “We were just lucky because I saw him within seconds of the reaction and rushed him to hospital, where they treated him and then told me he was critical. He tested positive for seven airborne allergens as well as peanuts and is at risk of life-threatening anaphylactic attacks. While we have done everything in

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allergy action plan • E nsure your child’s school is fully aware of his or her allergies.

• Provide the school with emergency contact information and clear procedures for handling medical issues.

• Explain the early warning signs of an allergic attack to your child’s teachers so they can be alert for early symptoms.

• Provide the school with multiple adrenaline auto-injectors to use in case of anaphylaxis and be sure to check the expiry date. Teachers should also be shown how to administer the medication regularly.

• Be sure that your child fully understands his or her allergies and knows what they can and cannot eat or be exposed to.

• Send special snacks and treats your child can eat so he or she doesn’t feel left out on special occasions.

• Get a medical bracelet for your child to wear.

For guidelines on how to treat children suffering from an allergic attack or how to use an adrenaline autoinjector, parents and teachers can visit allergysa.org or allergyexpert.co.za To connect with other parents of children with allergies, visit Facebook /AllergyEpicentre or allergyepicentre.wordpress.com

June 2014

15

education

the meaning of

milestones

Are you concerned that your child is developmentally delayed? LISA LAZARUS explains how early developmental

y

assessments work for preschool children.

ou know the type: the parent who, with studied indifference, “lets slip” that her five year old is reading Harry Potter or that her son, just four, can swim the length of a 50-metre pool, whereas your child can’t even hop without falling on his face. And then you panic. It seems that not only schools but we ourselves are continually ranking children. How seriously should we be taking milestones during the preschool years?

When it comes to milestones, there are many “grey areas”, says Dr Kirsty Donald, a paediatric neurologist at Red Cross Children’s Hospital. She explains that a milestone refers to a range of ages during which a behaviour – motor, cognitive or social/emotional – should occur. Milestones are based on the assessment of large cohorts of children in developed countries. The cut-off age is the age at which 95% of children are expected to have achieved a specific competence.

Let’s say your child is racing through her milestones – could you have a genius on your hands? Donald explains that even though early language assessment is probably the best predictor of later cognitive outcomes, assessments at a young age are better at picking up developmental delays than predicting later academic success.

“Some gifted programmes in the United States,” says Donald, “conduct early developmental assessments when the child is three; however, a third to half of those children selected for giftedness only exhibit mediocre academic achievement later in life.”

For Jan Murray-Nobbs, principal of The Hill, a preprimary school in Cape Town, there is an educational benefit in assessing where a child is missing his milestones. “Gaps or unidentified lags in any of the developmental spheres can compromise a child’s learning experience and readiness for further learning,” she says.

However, both Donald and Murray-Nobbs stress that milestones need to be taken in context. Donald means that you need to look at all areas of a young child’s development and not focus purely on the missed milestone. “With young children there is a tendency to emphasise motor milestones, such as walking, but if you only pay attention to this

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

what milestones mean

milestone and not the entire development of the child, then a problem could be missed,” she says. In addition, you need to assess how far away the child is from reaching the milestone. The cut-off age for walking is 18 months; however, a child who is cruising at this age and meeting all his other developmental milestones is quite possibly fine.”

A paediatrician needs to evaluate whether the missed milestone is a problem in the bigger picture, and also whether the delay is due to an underlying physiological reason.

Even an allergy or an iron deficiency could keep a child awake at night, cause her to underperform or miss her milestones.

dealing with delayed milestones Nikki McMahon works as a freelance web developer in Gauteng and has three children, aged nine, five and three. Her youngest, Juno, has spina bifida and sacral agenesis, a rare congenital condition in which there is abnormal foetal development of the lower spine.

As a result, most of her physical milestones are delayed and there are also cognitive and speech delays, although these may not be due to the underlying condition. On the basis of assessments, Juno is about one year delayed cognitively, particularly her expressive speech.

“Some days she’ll have conversations that make us think she’s come so far, and then other days we’ll despair and wonder if those ‘wow days’ ever really happened,” says Nikki.

Jenny Perkel, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Cape Town, explains that because of the competitive nature of many schools and society, developmental delays are challenging for many parents. However, bear in mind that children are “astute and aware of people’s reactions” and any kind of embarrassment or disapproval is likely to be picked up by them. Perkel acknowledges that it’s difficult for parents to hide their true feelings and that they should rather “get in touch with how they feel through seeing a professional and making some kind of peace with the situation”.

Nikki says that making comparisons, particularly of children the same age as Juno, is problematic. “In order to move forward I have learnt not to do this, because it has a negative impact on my daughter and the rest of the family,” she says. “I make a conscious effort to treat Juno as an individual, growing and learning at her own pace – although I still fail at this regularly.” One of the most helpful things Nikki has done is to form friendships with other moms who are going through similar experiences.

Clearly, assessing milestones in young children is important, primarily to pick up delays and their causes. Next time a parent sidles up to you to brag about her child’s advanced development, know that very little is predictable in the long course of a lifetime.

developmental traits that should concern you Talk to your doctor if your child does the following at three years old: • has unclear speech or drooling; • has difficulty working simple toys, for example turning handles or simple peg boards; • doesn’t use sentences or understand simple instructions; • no pretending or make-believe play; • has no interest in playing with other children or toys; • doesn’t make eye contact and • has lost skills once possessed.

• doesn’t use “me” and “you” correctly; • is unclear in speech and • has lost skills once possessed.

At five years old: • no wide range of emotions; • exhibits extreme behaviour such as being unusually fearful, aggressive, shy or sad; • c an’t focus on an activity for more than five minutes and is very easily distracted; • responds to people superficially or

At four years old: • unable to jump in place; • has difficulty scribbling; • shows lack of interest in interactive games or make-believe; • ignores other children and shows no response to people outside the family; • shows resistance when it comes to dressing, sleeping and using the toilet; • unable to retell a favourite story; • u nable to follow a command of three parts; • can’t understand the terms “same” and “different”.

not at all; • can’t differentiate the real from the made-up; • doesn’t engage in a variety of games and activities; • unable to give first and last names; • plurals and past tense are not used correctly; • d oesn’t

talk

about

everyday

activities and experiences; • doesn’t draw pictures; • unable to brush teeth, wash and dry hands, or get undressed without help and • has lost skills once possessed.

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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June 2014

17

family life

balancing me-time for your children. By HELENA KINGWILL

ost of us don’t regularly allow time to tune in to ourselves and our families. We’re often too caught up with tedious tasks, such as doing the dishes or paying the rent. But making time for ourselves and our children should be prioritised over the pressures we create for ourselves. It’s as important as our health. We shouldn’t wait for the wheels to come off. In her book Mother-Daughter Wisdom, Christiane Northrup puts it well: “When the fuel required for mothering and nurturing others is not replenished regularly, breakdowns and failures in the nurturing system manifest as depression, anxiety and even violence that affect both mothers and children.”

If the wheels come off you are no good to anyone, so taking time to create a calm and peaceful inner and outer space is an excellent investment. “Your children are the direct beneficiaries of you taking time for yourself and looking after your personal space,” says Cape Town parenting counsellor Karen Quail. She explains that we will be in a better space mentally and therefore more capable of engaging properly with our children. In order to find this time, it’s essential to clear

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space to create a calmer and more ordered life, advises Quail. This requires a very conscious discernment about our daily choices.

routines and rituals Clearing space for quality time requires decluttering the home as well as the daily schedule. “It’s about realising that when you say ‘yes’ to something – such as a commitment to be on another committee, a social engagement or another extramural activity for your child – you are automatically saying ‘no’ to family time or time for yourself,” says Quail.

When we are overwhelmed by the busyness of our lives, it helps to create chunks of time for each activity, advises Josie Brincat (50), a single mom from Durban.

“It’s about being aware of what is needed for all and then creating a routine that suits you,” says Josie, who recalls that when her son was a baby, routine quality time with him was her priority. “I could find a way to make space for me-time through the support of my friends, however irregular that was, and I set aside quality time with my son as a scheduled event.”

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PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterstock.com

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Give yourself the gift of time so that you can be more present

Quail recommends ritual and rhythm in our weekly routines as a way to create consistency and peace in the home. This includes a ritual time to connect with your partner, and a regular ritual activity with your children – perhaps at bedtime to read or to talk about the day.

An excellent bedtime ritual is the rose and thorn discussion. Ask your child what their “rose” was that day – what went well. And then what their “thorn” was – what didn’t work out. It’s an effective way of releasing unresolved issues as well as counting our blessings.

“These exercises act as a pressure valve for releasing stress from the day,” Quail points out. “If a ritual is regular, children feel safe because they know they can count on it.”

using me-time wisely Taking time for yourself gets easier as your children grow up, and finding that time depends in part on having a trustworthy support network.

“Everyone has different needs,” says Quail. “It’s important to tune in to what the right thing is for you.

Author and philosopher Joseph Campbell encouraged people to follow their bliss, which simply means follow your heart or your passion and find your life’s purpose. ‘Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls,’ he wrote. If you constructively use me-time to develop your passion, your self-esteem and general happiness will improve, as will your ability to love.”

But what do you do when you finally get that moment to yourself? I posed the question to a few parents.

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“If you give more to yourself, you have more to give to others,” says Sally de Jager (42), a Cape Town mother of two. “I don’t feel guilty about taking time for myself, because if I go for a run on the beach, I’m in a much better mood afterwards, and that affects my children too.”

Thandi O’Hagen (42) of Joburg shares custody of her son with her ex-husband. “I have one week all to myself, and the next I spend as much time with Kei as possible. But every Tuesday he goes to his granny and I go to a dance class. My exercise time is my best me-time,” she says.

James Cloete (42), a father of two from Cape Town, feels the same way about his me-time: “My wife allows me to go for a surf because she knows I am a much nicer person to be with afterwards.”

There is a danger, however, of the balance swinging out of kilter when me-time becomes an escapist habit.

Chantal van Straten* (36), a Port Elizabeth mother of a three year old, was weary because her husband had gone surfing for a fourth day in a row while on holiday. “I wanted us to do some fun things together as a family,” she says.

Taking time out should not burden the other partner nor compromise the children. It’s about quality versus quantity.

The ability to create decent, bite-sized chunks of time for yourself and focused time for your family requires intention, boundaries and organisation. The size of the chunks increases as our children grow up and we graduate to new levels of freedom. We have to know when to let go and when to be present. * Name changed

you need me-time when…

• y ou are feeling ungrounded, and keep forgetting and losing things; • you are staying up late to do creative things for yourself and not sleeping properly at night; • you are feeling depressed and are easily distracted; • you are running ragged – your hair is dishevelled, your clothes are worn out and you can’t remember the last time you really had fun.

recommended reading • T ears and Tantrums by Aletha Solter (Published by Aware Parenting Books, awareparenting.com) • S implicity Parenting by Kim John Payne (Published by Simplicity Parenting, simplicityparenting.com) • Mother-Daughter Wisdom – Creating a Legacy of Physical and Emotional Health by Dr Christiane Northrup (Published by Piatkus)

June 2014

19

parenting

the boomerang child Young adults who leave home only to move back in again are not necessarily

a

aimless or failing at life. GARY KOEN helps us understand the likely scenario.

“boomerang child” can be described as a young adult who appears incapable of being able to leave home or who moves out and then suddenly returns home and moves back in again. But I find the term somewhat incongruous. A boomerang is supposed to return to the thrower. Also, a boomerang in full flight is a beautiful sight – it is dynamic and graceful, yet filled with a primitive raw power, a reminder of the weapon it once was. When people talk about a “boomerang child”, the connotations are often negative. They are implying inertia, helplessness, an absence of confidence or direction, and an entitled sense of needing to be looked after.

Parents need to distinguish, however, between the normal ebb and flow of a young person’s passage from dependency towards independence, and a young adult who has literally ground to a halt in their life. The process of separating from our parents as young adults doesn’t happen overnight. The final road from bustling, busy adolescent towards fully fledged self-sufficiency is a developmental stage of its own, which can last as long as 10 years – more than twice as long as high school. Anyone who is “thrown” into the world like a boomerang the moment they matriculate will invariably find themselves, one way or another, spending the rest of their lives looking for a home to come back to.

going through the slog and discomfort of not knowing is far preferable to simply paying lip service and making half-hearted choices.

knowing who we are If we are to avoid the aimlessness that can beset many a young adult’s life, close attention needs to be paid to what takes place during adolescence. It’s an incredibly rich developmental stage, central to which is the relationship being forged between parent and child, and the relationship they are going to have with themselves. Adolescence is the time when they start to get to know who they really are.

By the time they have reached the age of 18 or 19, we can reasonably expect young people to have some idea of their likes and dislikes – the clothes they like to wear, the food they enjoy, their choice of friends and the company they keep. Basically, they need to know what it is they enjoy doing.

This is different from knowing what it is they are good at. The ideal is to be good at something and to enjoy doing it.

Young adults of this age should also have acquired some insight into their decisionmaking process: how they make life choices, take responsibility for their actions and tackle difficult tasks. They should now be able to discriminate between a good effort and a poor effort, and have developed some appreciation of quality.

They should also have developed an appreciation for the importance of being able to think for themselves and to realise that what they do is a reflection of who they are.

These are the issues that parents need to begin talking to their children about long before they become young adults. As I have pointed out, it’s not simply a given that they will know what they want to do with their lives by the time they leave school. However, they should be equipped with the tools to find out.

It’s really okay to have a “boomerang child”, provided the trajectory of their life has as its ultimate goal a richer understanding of themselves. What we need to be concerned about is the boomerang that lies uselessly on the ground.

The final road from bustling, busy adolescent towards fully fledged self-sufficiency is a developmental stage of its own, which can last as long as 10 years.

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June 2014

about the author Gary Koen is a clinical psychologist in private practice with over 20 years’ experience, working mainly with adults and adolescents. He also does presentations at schools on a range of teenage-related topics. These include all the general aspects of normal adolescent development. He developed, and successfully runs a course, “An introduction to adolescence”, aimed at parents. He is also working on a book that deals with the challenges facing parents and teenagers and, as a father of three, he is heavily invested in everything he says. For more information, visit garykoen.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

on the cusp Young people are still in the adolescent stage of life, even in their late teenage years. The whole of adolescence is fundamentally about a child’s movement from a state of relative dependency towards a state of independence; from being relatively little to becoming relatively big. By the time they matriculate they are closer to being little than big. Young adults still need parental guidance, especially when faced with complex life decisions that can carry long-term implications. Going to university, finding a job, getting married and starting a family is not as simple as it sounds, although those of us who want this for our lives naturally want to get it right.

It’s not unusual at all for teenagers to not know what they want to do when they leave school. There is a hidden danger in the expectation that somehow they should know what they want to do, and that not knowing means they are going to make a mess of their lives.

Parents need to realise that not knowing is not the problem. It’s when they either doubt or lack the ability to find out what they want to do that problems start.

Often at this stage many teenagers will fall into the trap of saying the right thing simply in order to keep their parents happy or to get them off their backs. The tendency to be seen to be behaving in a sensible and acceptable way often hides a deep-rooted uncertainty.

They end up making decisions and choices that they don’t really feel comfortable with, set standards for themselves that are impossible to meet and end up falling into a failure trap that can last for years.

The main task of parents at this stage is to accept their child’s anxiety of “not knowing” and use it to motivate them to start finding out what they want to do. In the long run,

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June 2014

21

b

rrr, winter is upon us, which means cold, and if you live in Cape Town, also wet weather. Here are seven things you need to do, or not do, to winterproof your children and insulate them from the rigours of the down season...

Don’t let them skip breakfast Children miss breakfast because they are lazy, not because they aren’t hungry. Halfway through the morning their tummies will rumble and a body starved of nutrients, carbs and protein will pillage these from their vital organs, leaving them feeling weak, light-headed and unable to concentrate. Insist that they eat something.

Make sure they wear warm clothes You’ve probably spent a small fortune on hats, scarves, snoods, coats, gloves and boots. Don’t be fooled by their cries of “but I’m warm enough” when they are stretched out in their underwear on the underfloor heating. Lock them out in the garden for 10 minutes to simulate waiting at the school gate, and then see if they are still warm. (Tip: always name every item of a child’s clothing. They will forget stuff. Frequently.)

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winter-proof PAUL KERTON suggests a few things we can do to insulate our children from the chill.

Get everybody up half an hour earlier Everything takes longer in winter. There are more layers to consider, so coordinating clothes and getting dressed can be an obstacle course. Food and drinks need to be warmed up, and then there’s driving in the rain to slow things down even more... so get your family moving earlier.

Take vitamins and cod liver oil Administer whatever works for you to stem the tsunami of infections from the classroom. And if your child gets sick, leave them at home. Start a course of vitamin C in advance and boost their immune system so that when everyone else sneezes over them, they can fight the germs. A flu jab is also a good idea, if you believe they work.

Be careful of slippery surfaces We tend to be a bit blasé in South Africa because it doesn’t really get much below 10 degrees unless you are on the Lesotho border. But the winters are trending colder, so beware of even a slight hint of frost because a broken leg or arm is not fun.

And watch the roads, because a skid is no laughing matter either.

Break out the board games and the required spirit with which to play them. You will be spending a monumental amount of time inside, and you don’t want your little anti-social treasures locked in their bedrooms glued to a screen all day playing in private. Encourage them to play a “family” game and talk together.

Teenagers may sniff the air, but once they get into it, even they will have fun. Release the competitive instinct. Forget all that wussy “it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game” nonsense. (Tip: make sure Aunt Mavis doesn’t cheat again.)

Stock up on tasty treats and snacks to dip into throughout the day. It helps if these are reasonably healthy.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

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ILLUSTRATION: MARK VINCER

upfront with paul

a club for everyone Not sure how to keep the children busy over the long school break?

TAMLYN VINCENT compiled a list of holiday activities for all ages, talents and interests. academic

Kip McGrath Umhlanga Children can

These are for Grades R–7, and run during the June and July holidays. A computer course for high school students is also available during the holidays and covers IT basics, MS Word, Excel, PowerPoint, internet and email. It is geared towards Grade 8 and up.

Date: call to enquire. Time: Grade R–7 9am–11am Monday–Thursday. Venue: suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R140 per day; high school certified course R3 600. Contact: 031 566 1110, 074 113 8364 or umhlanga@ computers4kids.co.za

choose from a variety of holiday courses, all of which are run in small groups so students can bounce ideas off one another.

The study skills course is for Grades 5–7 or Grades 8–12, and focuses on developing study techniques and strategies and then applying these to individual circumstances.

The essay writing course for Grades 8–12 focuses on developing essay skills and then applying them to any subject.

Matric English, Afrikaans and maths winter workshops are for Grade 12 and focus on skills for the preliminary matric exams.

Date: study skills: 30 June–3 July, 7–10 July, 14–17 July. Essay writing: 30 June–

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Computers 4 Kids holiday workshops

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3 July, 7–10 July, 14–17 July. Matric workshops: 8–10 July, 15–17 July. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Kip McGrath Education Centre Umhlanga, 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: study skills R3 200, essay writing R3 200, others tbc. Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556, admin@kipumhlanga.co.za or visit kipmcgrath.co.za

don’t need to take anything with them, and activities on offer are for all ages.

Date: 27 June–20 July. Time: 9am–6pm daily. Venue: The KZN Science Centre, Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: R40 entry to the centre gives you the license to do all the activities. Contact: 031 566 8040, education@kznsc.org or visit kznsc.org

Nifty Numbers This holiday, children

UP-grade “Plug the Gaps” school workshops UP-grade holds grade

can explore the world of maths, numbers and geometric shapes. Through these mathematics workshops, children can learn about its applications to everyday life, as well as the benefits it offers. Children

specific classes to help children plug the gaps in their school knowledge from the first half of the year. This is an ideal opportunity for children to go over concepts they’ve struggled with at school so

June 2014

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resource when they return, they don’t build on weak academic foundations. Children need to take school textbooks, worksheets and stationery. Workshops are suitable for Grades 1–12.

Date: 14–18 July. Time: tbc. Venue: UP-grade Lesson Centre, lower level, La Lucia Mall. Cost: from R300 for three hours. Contact: 082 877 7161, info@ up-grade.co.za or visit up-grade.co.za

art and crafts

Free art and crafts, face painting and balloon modelling Children can make fun art and crafts and have their faces painted.

Parents do need to supervise. Children do not need to take anything with them. For children 3–10 years old. Activities take place during school holidays.

Time: varies. Venue: Mr Funtubbles, Gateway and Liberty Midlands Mall, Pietermaritzburg. Cost: holiday activities are free. Contact: 031 584 6645, party@ mrfuntubbles.co.za or visit mrfuntubbles.co.za

Holiday pottery fun If you’re in the Nottingham Road area in the Midlands, children can join in a holiday pottery class.

Date: 3 and 17 July. There is also a mosaic workshop on 10 July, where children only pay for what they use. Time: 11am–1pm.

Venue: Aladdin’s De-light, Nottingham Rd. Cost: R110, including material and firing.

Contact: 033 266 6460, info@aladdins. co.za or visit aladdins.co.za

cooking

Cooking Kids The Mini Chef course is a three-day fun cooking competition, or lesson, where children learn to cook a starter, main course and dessert, with competitions, judges and prizes. For children 6–13 years old. The Cooking Teens Course is an age-appropriate lesson for teens that need their cooking skills stretched to the next level.

Date: mini chef: 30 June–2 July; cooking teens: 3 and 4 July. Time: 9am–10:30am.

Venue: Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: Mini Chef: R440 for 3 lessons, including ingredients, recipes and juice. Cooking Teens Course: R320 for both lessons, which includes ingredients, recipes and refreshment.

Contact: 031 764 6577

Getting creative with pottery

Tots n Pots Cooking and baking workshops for 4–12 year olds. There will be a regular holiday club as well as a special Ramadan holiday club for Muslim clients.

Date: 30 June–17 July for workshops for 4–12 year olds. Time: 11:30am–12:45pm.

Venue: 63 Dublin Ave, Morningside. Cost: R150. Contact: 072 691 7867 Little Cooks Club A hands-on approach to introducing children to new foods, and getting them to appreciate good food and a healthy diet. The holiday cookery classes are for children 2–6 years old, who will need parental supervision, and junior chefs, 7–15 years old.

Date and time: 9am–11am 15, 22 and 23 July. Junior chefs: 9am–12pm 10, 17 and 24 July. Venue: Little Cooks Club Durban North studio, 14 Zenith Dr, Umhlanga.

Cost: R240 per class. Contact: 073 282 7955 or katiek@littlecooksclub.co.za

multiple activities

Little Lambs Preschool holiday club Children can attend half or full day, with morning and afternoon snacks included.

Each day there is a planned activity. For children 18 months to 4 turning 5 years old. Children need to take their own lunch and a change of clothing. They should also take nappies, wipes and cream if needed.

Activities are available over most school holidays, including June/July.

Time: half day 7am–2:30pm, full day 7am–5pm. Venue: 17 Loop Rd, cnr Inanda Rd and Loop Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: half day R40, full day R60. Contact: 031 765 1833, admin@littlelambspreschool.co.za or visit littlelambspreschool.co.za

Lucky Bean free holiday programme

Getting kitchen smart with Little Cooks Club

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June 2014

There are children’s craft activities, baking, sandart, Perler beading, interactive workshops and more. For children 2–6 years old. Run over the June and July school holidays. Visit their Facebook page for a more detailed programme.

Time: weekdays from 10am. Venue: Lucky Bean, 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: R20 entrance to the playground, daily activities are free. Contact: 082 216 3892, info@ luckybean.co (no .za) or visit Facebook /luckybeankids magazine durban

Mum’s Aide holiday club There is art and crafts, organised play and games, snacks, lunch and juice for children. They need to take a bag to pack in their art activities to take home. Children should preferably wear old clothes as there are lots of messy crafts. The club caters for children under the age of 10 years old.

Date: 30 June–18 July. Time: half day 7:30am–1pm, full day 7:30am–5pm, Monday–Friday. Venue: HeatherBelle’s Café, 4 Swapo Rd, Durban North. Cost: half day R120, full day R180. Contact: 078 617 2473, tinalepan@mumsaide.com or visit mumsaide.com

Sandy’s holiday care The programme offers a variety of activities. Morning and afternoon snacks are provided. Parents can either provide lunch for their children or they can order a warm home-cooked meal from the centre. Holiday care is offered during most holidays.

Date: 23 June–11 July. Time: 7:30am–5pm Monday–Friday. Venue: Deutsche Schule Durban, 34 Stafford Rd, Cowies Hill. Cost: R80 per day, R400 per week. Contact: 082 406 5603, sandy@sandysaftercare.com or visit sandysaftercare.com Umhlanga holiday club Children enjoy art, swimming, tennis, playing on the beach and more. They need to take a swimming costume and towel. For children 2–10 years old.

Date: 27 June–20 July. Time: tbc. Venue: Cabana Beach Resort, Umhlanga Rocks.

Cost: R120 per day. Contact: 031 561 2371

sleepovers

Junior ranger camp Children dreaming of being a ranger one day can start their training now with the Gwahumbe Junior Ranger Camp. They learn about their favourite animals by watching them in their natural environment and see how nature can provide them with everything they need to survive in the bush. The three-day, twonight camp gets them well on their way to fulfilling their dreams. Junior Rangers stay at the Mzigi Bushcamp and a qualified field guide leads them through activities such as orientation, pellet gun shooting, raft building, guided walks, survival skills and more. Ten children per camp are accepted in order to ensure that each camper gets equal attention. A detailed list of items that need to be taken is provided on booking.

For children 8–13 years old.

Date: 30 June–2 July, 14–16 July, 6–8 October and 17–19 December. Time: provided on booking. Venue: Gwahumbe Game and Spa, Mid-Illovo. Cost: R1 350 per child. Contact: 031 781 1082, info@ gwahumbe.co.za or visit gwahumbe.co.za

Themed holiday camps with Sugar Bay

Brazilian snacks. Campers also have the opportunity to visit the Moses Mabhida Stadium in Durban. So You Think You Can Dance week has campers participating in different dance workshops every day.

Campers can enjoy flash mobs, danceoff competitions, dance quiz shows, early morning beach yoga and a camp-out with dancing and singing around a fire. Camps are for children 7–17 years old and take place during most school holidays.

Date: Mr Price Pro week: 30 June– 6 July, Rio week: 6–13 July, So You Think You Can Dance week: 13–20 July. Time: varies. Venue: Zinkwazi Beach. Cost: from R4 599. Contact: 032 485 3778 or holidays@sugarbay.co.za

Winterslam skate camp This winter, a youth camp for skateboarders takes place in the heart of the Valley of 1000 Hills, just 30 minutes from Durban. During this camp top SA skaters host visitors and take them on a tour of various KZN skate parks and street spots. Campers will stay at Indigo Skate Camp in traditional accommodation and the Indigo skaters will enrich your stay with Zulu food and warm hospitality. The camp is for children 9–18 years old, and children must take their own skating equipment.

Date: 2–7 July. Venue: Indigo Skate Camp, Valley of 1000 Hills. Cost: R3 000.

Contact: dallas@indigoskatecamp.co.za or visit indigoskatecamp.co.za

sport and fitness Busyballers

holiday

clinics The

programme provides fun obstacle courses, races and other age-appropriate games for children. Older children play proper sports games such as soccer, hockey, netball, volleyball, cricket, rugby and baseball. A jumping castle as well as a slip ’n slide and some art and crafts also provide entertainment for the children. For children 3–10 years old.

Date: tbc. Time: 8am–12pm. Venue: Morningside Sports Club. Cost: R120. Contact: 083 236 0059 or lisa@ busyballers.co.za

Club-V Kids Club The programme Sugar Bay holiday camps Weeklong camps keep children active over the holidays. Mr Price Pro week is all about surfing, with a mechanical surfboard, lessons in surfing lingo, early morning surf sessions and beach camp-outs. Rio week puts the focus on Brazil, from festivals, to dressing, learning a few Portuguese phrases and enjoying a Rio de Janeiro carnival with lights, colour, music and magazine durban

includes art and crafts, a paint-jamming session, basketball, bean bag or Hula Hoop challenges, soccer shoot-outs and a yoga movement class. For 3–13 year olds.

Date: June/July dates, meals and information for special needs children, tbc.

Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Virgin Active Health Clubs countrywide. Cost: free for Club-V members. Contact: 0860 200 911 or visit virginactive.co.za June 2014

25

calendar

what’s on in june

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see this month.

Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

14 sat

special events

27

FUN for children

27

only for parents

28

bump, baby & tot in tow

29

how to help

29

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Crow open day Children learn about environmental conservation and how they can play a part.

Stage by Stage Jonathan Roxmouth presents a collection of songs from current and past shows.

Shongololo shakers Babies and toddlers enjoy their first musical experiences with stories and rhyme.

Winter appeal The Kloof and Highway SPCA is looking for blankets to help them through the winter.

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June 2014

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com / Nerve events

Cirque de la Symphonie The rich sounds of the orchestra combine with the magical cirque acrobatics to take your breath away.

21

SPECIAL EVENTS

sat

4 wednesday Johnny Clegg Best Live and Unplugged This intimate show includes storytelling

by Johnny Clegg, where he talks about the events in his life and political history of South Africa and the world at the time that motivated him to write “that” song.

It is a personal journey, which is uplifting, moving and humorous at times. Also 5 June. Time: 8pm. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R180. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

5 thursday Crafty Momz Learn three crafts at this ladies’ craft workshop: scrapbook vintage gift tags, fondant icing, and mug art. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Umhlali, Ballito. Cost: R300. Contact: 083 437 8862 or raelenes@ telkomsa.net

6 friday Durban North College Night Market and Venison Festival Families can enjoy a night market. For adults there is an evening of bonfires and potjie on 7 June.

Time: 5pm Friday, 6pm Saturday. Venue: Prospect Hall Rd, Durban North. Cost: free market entry, Venison Festival R150.

Contact: 031 564 1347 or dnkollege@ telkomsa.net The Durban Surf Carnival presented

by Jeep Apparel There’s the Standup Paddle Surfing Champs, Forgotten Soul Retro Surfing, a Longboard Surfing Competition, free Snapshot Photographic Competition and free surfing clinic. Ends 8 June. Time: varies. Venue: New Pier Beach, Durban. Cost: varies. Contact Paul: 083 560 1185 or mw.nerve@mweb.co.za

6 June – The Durban Surf Carnival presented

The DPHS Photonote National U13 Rugby Festival Primary schools from KZN, the Western Cape and Gauteng participate.

Ends 21 June. Time: varies. Venue: 99 Gordon Rd, Morningside. Cost: free entry. Contact Caroline: 031 312 2154 or visit dphs.co.za

21 saturday David Kau A leading South African comedian. Time: 8pm. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R180. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Top Gear Festival Join Jeremy Clarkson, James May, Richard Hammond and The Stig for this ultimate motoring show. There is a live stadium show, street circuit, motoring in motion, a stunt school and more. Ends 22 June. Time: varies. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Stamford Hill. Cost: R260–R1 995. For more info: visit topgearfestivaldurban.co.za

7 saturday Celebrate the Queen’s official birthday Celebrate the official birthday of Queen Elizabeth II with a special lunch and birthday cake. Time: 12:30pm. Venue: Trafalgar Room, The Royal Natal Yacht Club. Cost: members R145, non-members R150. Contact: 031 202 6174 DSD Sunset Proms and Lantern Festival This fun-filled evening has good music for adults and a lantern festival for children. Time: 2:30pm. Venue: DSD Sports field, 34 Stafford Rd, Cowies Hill.

Cost: adults R75, children under 12 free.

Contact: 031 267 1307

8 sunday Old Mutual Music at the Lake Featuring the multi platinum-selling local band, The Parlotones. Time: 2:30pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: presold tickets R150, on the day R180, children 8–12 years old R80. Book through Webtickets: visit webtickets.co.za

Stage by Stage Jonathan Roxmouth takes audiences on a showbiz ride. Ends 22 June.

Time: varies. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Ave, Umbilo. Cost: R120.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

14 saturday Cirque de la Symphonie Durban’s outstanding KZN Philharmonic Orchestra (with 70 musicians on stage) performs classical favourites, while overhead the world’s leading circus artists execute daring aerial artistry without a safety net. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: The Playhouse, Anton Lembede Rd, Durban CBD. Cost: R120– R300. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

East Coast Radio House and Garden Show Find what you need for your home, from trendy decor to garden inspiration.

Ends 22 June. Time: 10am. Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre, Durban CBD. Cost: adults R75, 10-day multi-entry R100. For more info: visit housegardenshow.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Art lessons Cover painting and drawing methods and techniques. For children 8–18 years old. Time: 9am–11am, every Saturday. Venue: High Ridge Rd, Durban North. Cost: R125 per lesson. Contact Suzette: 074 178 9388 or sdyson@remaxpanache.co.za artSpace Exhibitions include Exhale from 26 May–14 June, Sacred Circles from 16–21 June and Flatfoot Dance from 23–27 June.

Time: 9am–5pm Monday–Friday, 9am–2pm Saturday. Venue: 3 Miller Rd, Stamford Hill.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 0793 or visit artspacedurban.blogspot.com Arty Stars Art lessons suitable for toddlers 18 months–5 years old. Moms attend with children. Time: 2:30pm Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: Baby Bright Stars Studio, Westville. Cost: R680 per term. Contact Kelly: 083 777 4578 or visit Facebook /babybrightstars

classes, talks and workshops

13 friday

by Jeep Apparel

19 thursday

13 June – East Coast Radio House and Garden Show

Babes in the Wood Children 0–5 years old learn about nature. Time: 9am, every Thursday. Venue: Stainbank Nature Reserve, 90 Coedmore Ave, Yellowwood Park. Cost: R30. Contact Kathryn: 072 649 3618 or katambersaunders@hotmail.co.uk Children’s yoga Time: 3:15pm, every Tuesday; 11am, every Saturday. Venue: Centre of Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R40. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za Meditation for Kids With story time, meditations, and art and crafts.

family marketplace

magazine durban

June 2014

27

calendar

8 June – Stock up at The Play Market

22 June. Time: 9:30am–11am. Venue: Mahasiddha Centre, 6 Hamilton Crescent, Gillitts. Cost: R30. Contact: 031 764 6193, info@meditateindurban.org or visit meditateindurban.org Study skills course For Grades 5–7 and 8–12. An essay writing course for Grades 8–12 also available. 30 June–3 July. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Kip McGrath Education Centre Umhlanga, 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R3 200.

Contact Tracy-Lee Sydney-Smith: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556, admin@kipumhlanga. co.za or visit kipmcgrath.co.za

family outings Books 2 You Discover hundreds of book titles. Time: 10am–3pm 2 June; 7:30am–1pm 3 June. Venue: Crawford North Coast. Also at Embury College and Umhlanga College, 17 and 18 June; Clifton Prep, 19 and 20 June; Thomas More College, 24 and 25 June.

Cost: free entry. Contact Charlotte: 031 705 7744 or orders@books2you.co.za Mr. Funtubbles Fabulous Family Funfair Enjoy fun rides and games. Time: 10am–9pm Monday–Thursday, 10am–11pm Friday, 9am–11pm Saturday, 9am–9pm Sunday.

Venue: Shop E047, upper level, Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 584 6645 or visit mrfuntubbles.co.za Sugar terminal tours Time: varies Monday–Friday. Venue: 25 Leuchars Rd, Durban. Cost: adults R16, children R8.

Contact: 031 365 8153, tourguide@sasa. org.za or visit sasa.org.za uShaka Kids World Play on the giant jungle gym or in the Creative Zone. For children 2–10 years old. Time: 9am–6pm Wednesday–Sunday. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: adults and children over 12 R15, children under 12 R60. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Crow open days Tours include a visit to some of the enclosures for animals in rehabilitation, and the environmental

Sports development at Busyballers

28

June 2014

education centre. 29 June. Time: 11am.

Venue: 15A Coedmore Rd, Yellowwood Park.

Cost: adults R25, children R10. Contact: 031 462 1127 or info@crowkzn.co.za Flag Animal Farm With rescued animals, a milking show, indoor play centre, coffee shop and more. Time: daily milking show 12pm and 3pm. Venue: Sheffield Beach.

Cost: entry R33. Contact: 032 947 2018 The Animal Farmyard Feed the animals, and see daily milking demonstrations.

Time: 9am–4:30pm daily, milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill.

Cost: R15 entry, rides R5. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za Winsome View Animal Farm There is a play area, farm animals and pony rides. Time: 9am–3pm Tuesday–Sunday.

Venue: Hamilton Way, Shongweni. Cost: varies. Contact: 082 892 1615 or visit winsomeview.co.za

The Play Market With live music, food and fun activities for children. 8 June. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Giba Gorge Mountain Bike Park, 110 Stockville Rd. Cost: R10 entry into Giba Gorge. Contact Derryn: 071 307 0823, gotoplaymarket@gmail. com or visit Facebook /gotoplaymarket Wonder Market Find a varied selection of foods, crafts and treasures. 29 June.

Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Chris Saunders Park, Umhlanga. Cost: free entry. Contact: wonder@wondermarket.co.za or visit wondermarket.co.za

on stage and screen Old Mutual Music at the Lake Featuring The Parlotones. 8 June. Time: 2:30pm.

Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea.

Cost: presold tickets R150, on the day R180, children 8–12 years old R80. Book through Webtickets: visit webtickets.co.za

markets Bulwer Food and Craft Lovers’ Market With food, crafts and fun for children.

1 June. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Bulwer Park, Glenwood. Cost: free entry. Contact: 076 862 1547 or markets@wholefood.co.za Essenwood Market For a range of stalls.

Time: 9am–2pm every Saturday. Venue: Essenwood Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com Golden Hours Family Market Fundraising initiative of Golden Hours Special School.

Time: 10am–3:30pm every Sunday. Venue: Uitsig Rd, Durban North. Cost: free entry.

Contact Lyn: 083 262 3693 I Heart market Local foodies and designers showcase their products. 7 June. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Stamford Hill. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit iheartmarket.blogspot.com Open Sunday market There are charity shops, jungle gyms, a barrel train, food and more. 29 June. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Kloof and Highway SPCA, 29 Village Rd, Village Green. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 764 1212/3 or visit kloofspca.co.za Shongweni Farmer’s and Craft Market Organic and local produce and crafts.

Time: 6:30am–10:30am every Saturday.

Venue: cnr Kassier Rd and Alverstone Rd, Assagay. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 777 1674, info@shongwenimarket.co.za or visit shongwenimarket.co.za The Litchi Orchard Market A covered market featuring live music and a children’s playground. 14 June. Time: 9am–2pm.

Venue: Seaforth Ave, Foxhill. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 032 525 5118, info@litchiorchard. co.za or visit litchiorchard.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops LifeLong Learning Find out about talks and courses in current topics. Time: varies.

Venue: varies. Cost: varies. Contact Justine: 073 725 7381, info@lllkzn.net or visit lllkzn.net Pilates in Motion Group Pilates sessions.

Time: 4:15pm–5:15pm Monday–Thursday.

Venue: Musgrave/Overport area. Cost: once weekly R270, twice weekly R540 per month. Contact Laura-May: 082 443 4533, info@pilatesinmotion.co.za or visit pilatesinmotion.co.za Taekwondo for ladies Develop core strength, exercise and learn self-defence.

Time: 7pm–8pm, every Thursday.

Venue: Westville Library. Cost: R130 per month. Contact Sam: 082 876 0628 or tkdtornados@gmail.com

on stage and screen

8 June – The Parlotones live at the Durban Botanic Gardens

playtime and story time Jimmy Jungles An indoor playground.

Time: 9am–6pm Monday–Saturday, 9am–4pm Sunday. Venue: Perry Yamaha Building, Tetford Circle, Umhlanga. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 2000 or visit jimmyjungles.co.za Lucky Bean A fun, exciting and safe children’s playground with an undercover playbarn and coffee shop. Time: 9am–4pm Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: R20 for the first child, R15 for each additional child per family.

Contact: 082 216 3892, info@luckybean. co or visit luckybean.co (no .za) Steam train rides Ride a miniature steam engine at the Durban Society of Model Engineers. 8 June. Time: 11am–4pm.

Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 per ride. For more info: visit dsme.co.za

Cirque de la Symphonie 14 June. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: The Playhouse, Anton Lembede Rd, Durban CBD. Cost: R120– R300. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Johnny Clegg 4 and 5 June. Time: 8pm.

Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti. Cost: R180. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com Stage by Stage 13–22 June. Time: 8pm Friday and Saturday, 2pm Saturday and Sunday, 6:30pm Sunday. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Ave, Umbilo. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com

support groups Born Sleeping Parents bereaved by stillbirths, miscarriages or neonatal death, share experiences. Contact: 084 524 1541/2, bornsleeping@gmail.com or visit Facebook /Born Sleeping Choc – Childhood Cancer Foundation KZN For support and more info, contact: 086 111 2182, dbn@choc.org.za or visit choc.org.za Famsa Offers family and relationship counselling. Contact: 031 202 8987 or visit 30 Bulwer Rd, Glenwood

21

sport and physical activities Busyballers A sports development programme for children 2½ years and older.

Time: from 3pm every Wednesday; varies depending on age group. Venue: Westville Civic Centre. Cost: varies. Contact Lisa: 083 236 0059 or lisa@busyballers.co.za Horseback beach adventures Beachonly trails now available. Time: 3pm Friday–Wednesday. Venue: Durban South; directions sent on booking. Cost: beach ride R450, ride and picnic R600. Contact: 081 477 9348, horsebeachrides@gmail. com or visit horsebeachrides.co.za Taekwondo Tornados Children get exercise, develop core strength and have fun. Time and venue: from 3:30pm every Wednesday, Westville Library; from 2pm, every Tuesday, Hillcrest Library. Cost: R130 per month. Contact: 082 876 0628 or tkdtornados@gmail.com

sat

David Kau – On stage Time: 8pm. Venue: iZulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino, Umdloti.

Cost: R180. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

magazine durban

it’s party time

Music and movement classes at Shongololo Shakers

Hi Hopes Home intervention programme for children who are deaf or hard of hearing.

Contact: 082 897 1632, dianne.goring@ hihopes.co.za or visit hihopes.co.za Overeaters Anonymous They aim to overcome compulsive overeating through meetings where they share experiences, strength and hope in recovery. Contact: 083 409 8309 or visit oa.org.za Sadag For those suffering from depression or drug abuse or who may be suicidal. For more info or referral to a support group: visit sadag.org

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Edubabe Childminder training, first aid workshops and cooking classes. Time: varies. Venue: Glenwood. Cost: varies.

Contact Kate: 071 968 1007 or durban@ edubabe.co.za Edu-Maid Baby care, child stimulation and cooking classes for domestic workers. Time: varies. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R300.

Contact Eleanor: 084 821 6668 Preggie Power A group prenatal yoga class. Time: 4:30pm–5:30pm every Friday, 7am–8am every Saturday, 8am–9pm every Sunday. Venue: 8 Sunny Circle, Sunningdale. Cost: four classes R350, dropin R100. Contact: 079 881 7199 or visit preggiepower.co.za Prenatal Yoga Blissful Bellies offers relaxed, nurturing pregnancy classes.

Time: varies. Venues: Assagay and Hillcrest.

Cost: four classes R240, single class R80.

Contact Isabel: 083 560 5390 or visit blissfulbellies.co.za Shongololo Shakers This music and movement class for children 0–5 years old includes songs, rhymes and stories, puppets and instruments.

Time and venues: 11am every Tuesday, Cygnet Preparatory, Westville; 10:30am every Wednesday, Hillcrest Library; 9:30am and 3pm every Thursday, Room to Bloom, Durban North; 9am every Friday, Leaping Lizards, Gillitts.

Cost: varies. Contact Corrine: 083 893 5155 or Beverley: 060 350 7323, info @shongololoshakers.co.za or visit shongololoshakers.co.za

playtime and story time Baby Bright Stars Interactive classes for moms and babies. Time: varies. Venue: Westville. Cost: R800. Contact Kelly: 083 777 4578, kelly@babybrightstars.co.za or visit babybrightstars.co.za Clamber Club Movement and stimulation classes for children 1–4 years old. Time: varies. Venues: Ballito, Hillcrest and Kloof.

Cost: varies. Contact Ballito: 076 222 2946, Hillcrest: 084 577 7630 or Kloof: 083 259 2746 or visit clamberclub.com Little Me Moms and Toddlers workshops Fun, educational workshops for 90 minutes for toddlers 1–3½ years old and moms. Mothers groups welcome.

Time: varies. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R75 per session. Contact Eleanor: 084 821 6668 or visit littleme.yolasite.com Toptots Children 8 weeks–4 years old learn and play. Time: varies. Venue: branches in Ballito, Durban North, Glenwood, Hillcrest, Westville and Hilton. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, info@ toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za

For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

support groups La Leche League Worldwide breastfeeding support organisation. Contact Jane: 031 309 1801 or visit llli.org/southafrica Mothers 2 Baby For new and experienced moms who are finding motherhood challenging. Babies welcome. Time: 10am–11:30am, the third Thursday of every month. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, Kassier Rd. Cost: free. Contact clinical psychologist Hayley: 061 453 3718

how to help Tattoo-a-thon Tattoo studios around South Africa help raise funds for Childhood Cancer Foundation South Africa on 6 June.

Tattoos are a set size, based on an hour’s work, and cost R700. Book a tattoo directly with participating studios. For more info: visit tattooathon.co.za Winter Appeal The Kloof and Highway SPCA is looking for fleece blankets to help them combat the cold weather. You can donate blankets or R30 to buy a blanket.

Contact: 031 764 1212 or fundraising@ kloofspca.co.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za. Information must be received by 30 May for the July issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

magazine durban

June 2014

29

finishing touch

copycats CASSANDRA SHAW describes how her son picks up on everything – even the things she wishes he hadn’t.

i

t’s amazing how impressionable children are. I distinctly remember taking a Sunday drive with my family in the countryside one day, when my sister, who was three years old at the time, exclaimed to my step-dad, who’s known for being a bit vocal when behind the wheel, “Look Daddy, there are no *&%-*$@!s on the road today.”

Our son has also repeated a few choice words he’s learnt from us. And, like my step-dad, we also had sheepish looks on our faces.

As parents, we don’t realise how much of what we say and do is picked up by our children. They remember and associate things you wouldn’t have even thought twice about. During a Skype conversation with his grandpa

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recently, my son quickly went to his room and grabbed his tiger hat and harmonica, because he now associated these objects with my dad, whom he’d visited almost a year ago.

At the moment these are The Jungle Book, The Lion King and 101 Dalmatians.

After he watches these shows he loves to pretend he’s a bear like Baloo, a powerful lion like Mufasa, or a dog like Pongo. So

Children remember and associate things you wouldn’t have even thought twice about.

During these early years a child’s mind is a sponge as they try to come to grips with social practices and the world around them. So, as parents, we’ve really got to be on our best behaviour – even while driving.

Being aware of the things they take part in or watch on TV is just as important. Our son, like most children, loves it when he is allowed to watch his favourite movies.

he’ll dance, roar and bark his way around the house. He’s even set up an area on the couch to look like Pride Rock. And when he’s pretending to be a dog he picks up his teddy bears with his mouth. My least favourite trait has to be when he tries to eat his food – face first in his plate.

Our children also pick up things from their friends. For the longest time our

son refused to eat bananas after learning that some children from his school were not big fans of bananas. After that, no matter how hard I tried, he’d scrunch up his nose, stick out his tongue and say, “Yuck!”

That all changed, however, thanks to his favourite characters from a certain movie based in the jungle. The other morning, he actually came into the kitchen asking for a banana after seeing the two main characters scoff down copious amounts of the yellow fruit. Finally!

Now if only there was something that would make a positive impression on him when it comes to eating baby marrows…

Cassandra is a freelance editor and writer who often blogs about her life as a Canadian living in Cape Town.

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PHOTOGRAPH: MENKE BONNEMA

Cassandra and her son

books

a good read for toddlers

for preschoolers

Can’t You Sleep Little Bear?

By Martin Waddell and Barbara Firth

The Gruffalo Play

By Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler

(Published by Walker Books, R82) Little Bear can’t sleep. He’s frightened of the dark, even with the biggest lantern of them all at his bedside. But Big Bear finds an ingenious way to reassure him… When it was first published in 1988, Can’t You Sleep Little Bear? quickly became a classic bedtime favourite. A timeless and universal bestseller for children from the age of three to seven, it has won multiple awards, has been translated into 25 languages and has sold over seven million copies. Waddell is widely acknowledged as one of the greatest writers of children’s books.

set the stage

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R81) The Gruffalo story has been adapted into a fun and accessible play script, ideal for children to use as a school play or at home. The book has been designed with rehearsals and a performance in mind.

Colour coding for each character helps children to follow their lines and join the action. The book also contains tips, which include helpful advice on staging the play and performing it with larger groups. There are ideas for themed make-and-do Gruffalo activities and the lyrics and music for The Gruffalo Song.

for early graders

for preteens and teens

Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

By Judy Blume (Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R94) The first book published in Judy Blume’s hugely successful and hilarious fiction series about a naughty little boy called Fudge, has received new cover art from picture book star Emily Gravett (Little Mouse’s Big Book of Fears and The Odd Egg). Peter thinks he has the world’s biggest problem – his little brother, Fudge. Fudge causes trouble wherever he goes and it’s usually up to Peter to sort out the mess. When Peter wins a tiny green turtle called Dribble, he is determined to keep it away from his brother, but when Fudge does get his hands on Dribble, disaster strikes. The other books in the series also received a makeover, and it’s worth investing in them: Double Fudge, Superfudge, Fudge-A-Mania and Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great.

Stay Where You Are & Then Leave

By John Boyne

(Published by Random House Struik, R219) The day the First World War broke out, Alfie Summerfield’s father promised he wouldn’t go away to fight, but he broke that promise the following day. Four years later, Alfie doesn’t know where his father might be, other than that he’s away on a special, secret mission. Then, while shining shoes at King’s Cross Station, Alfie unexpectedly sees his father’s name – in a sheaf of papers belonging to a military doctor.

Bewildered and confused, Alfie realises his father is in a hospital close by – a hospital treating soldiers with an unusual condition. Alfie is determined to rescue his father from this strange, unnerving place. From the author of The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas comes another classic story for children from the age of nine to 11.

for parents Mysmartkid (Distributed by Leisure Books, R295 every two months) This is a play-and-learn programme for children from the age of birth to six years old.

Designed by a panel of leading experts, Mysmartkid provides tools for early childhood development to help you give your child the best start in life. Enjoy fun activities with your little one while helping them reach their full potential. Subscribe to Mysmartkid at only R295 per child every two months. A Smartbox jam-packed with age-appropriate toys and tools plus a parent’s guide will be dispatched as soon as your membership has been registered. And as a special welcome offer, your first Smartbox will include two exclusive gifts: a free children’s backpack and a step-by-step guide to the early developmental milestones. Thereafter you will receive a Smartbox every two months. In addition to your Smartbox, you will also receive informative email newsletters compiled by experts in early childhood development. As a member you qualify for extra discounts at mysmartkid.com as well as unique downloads, resources, articles and information tailored to your child’s age and developmental area. The Mysmartkid programme is distributed by Leisure Books.

You can register online at mysmartkid.com, choose your child’s age, and get your ageappropriate activity box delivered free in South Africa every two months.

not to b e missed