Child magazine | DBN March / April 2016

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

earn your stripes

how to prevent and treat stretch marks

readers are leaders: nurturing a love for

reading

great snow ski destinations on your doorstep

the

www.childmag.co.za

March/April 2016

p a r e n t s

raising children of privilege

engaging the world

stimulating your baby’s five senses

hit the slopes

free

f o r

find the

right school for your child

good life

health

education

entertainment

the good life Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher

Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial

Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway Lucille Kemp

Art

Designers Mark Vincer • studio@childmag.co.za Candice Acheson • studio1@childmag.co.za Julian Mc Namara • studio1@childmag.co.za

Advertising

Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Lisa Waterloo • dbnsales@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation

Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

In this issue, we focus on some of the things we know you hold dear: your family, their health and wellness, your children’s education and a good dose of fun times.

If you are like me, your idea of “The Good Life” evolves as your children grow. From the blessing of falling pregnant, giving birth to a healthy baby and eventually enrolling your four yearold in a school you believe will bring out the best in her for the next few years. We add playdates, birthday parties and holidays as we go, enriching our lives with shared experiences. And so it should be, but we can’t expect not to hit bumps along the way. My daughter’s recent illness taught me this. We have had to pare our lives to the very core of what is really important and sometimes, just possible. For her, it’s being able to go to school in the morning, to see her friends and participate in all the fun and learning that an average school day promises. For me it’s making it to lunchtime without the “please come and fetch your child” call from the school secretary. Last week was a three out of fiver.

So for now, living the good life is my nephew visiting from Australia, with his wacky girlfriend (“We love you, Laura”), a text from a friend suggesting a walk, an unsolicited hug from my husband, but most of all, a smile from my youngest and the words “Mom, today was a good day”.

Operations Manager

Lisa Mc Namara, Publisher

Helen Xavier • helen@childmag.co.za

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contents march/april 2016

16 read, enjoy & discover 3 a note from lisa

regulars

6 over to you readers respond

9 pregnancy news – at a stretch Anél Lewis looks at how to get rid of postpartum scars

features 14 ski time think skiing in South Africa is an impossible? Peter Kilpin and his family had a blast at two local resorts

16 read, enjoy & discover Marina Zietsman finds practical tips to get your child to love books

18 raising children who have it all advantaged children are showing signs of emotional distress. But why?

Samantha Page investigates

20 the right school choosing the right school for your child can be a daunting task. Lucille Kemp gives you a few options

27 freshly uncomplicated in her new cookbook, Taste the Little Karoo, Beate Joubert shares recipes from this part of the world

health 8 look mom, no water!

Marina Zietsman finds out if it’s safe and effective to use waterless, antibacterial hand sanitisers

10 best for baby – talking senses Tammy Jacks speaks to experts on how you can help develop your baby’s senses

12 dealing with difference – shake it up, baby! tension and trauma releasing exercises can effectively help your child. Melissa Fagan explains

22 resource – family feasting Tamlyn Vincent has compiled a list of restaurants that offer families a great day out

23 a good read for the whole family 24 what’s on in march and april 25 next month in child magazine 26 finishing touch Anél Lewis believes that parents should give themselves a break

classified ads 26 it’s party time 26 family marketplace

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March/April 2016

Cape Town

Durban

Joburg

Pretoria

karinhaasbroek.com Somerset West

Melissa Mitchell Photography facebook.com/Melissamitchellphotos

Claudia De Nobrega claudiadenobrega.com

Megan Hancock Photography meganhancockphotography.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPH: TARA KELLY PHOTOGRAPHY

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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March/April 2016

5

letters

He came home from school, and there it was (somewhat) neatly folded and placed into his book bag. Trumpets played and birds took flight… my first Child mag.

As you may have realised, I have a little man that just started Grade 1, and I’ve received my first copy of the magazine. I am so excited to be part of this “inner circle”. I have to admit, I’ve always been very jealous of other moms. Looking forward to months of amazing articles and useful info.

Yash Thank you so much for the great coverage of I Am in your February issue. We did get calls as a result, and we are now fully booked for all 40 performances. Thank you very much indeed.

Franki Hills, marketing and communications coordinator, The Playhouse Company, Durban

fireworks must fall A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder, which manifests as extreme antisocial attitudes and

behaviour and a lack of conscience. Sociopaths show a pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights and feelings of others. They live for the moment, forgetting the past, and not planning the future; not thinking ahead about the consequences their actions will have. They want immediate reward and gratification.

All fireworks users display these traits. The use of fireworks is sociopathic behaviour, because fireworks have an obvious and pervasive destructive effect on everyone, including the person lighting the fireworks.

This past New Year, the carnage from fireworks was worse than ever. All around the country there were fires resulting in major environmental destruction, human injuries, disturbance of the peace, and thousands of lost and terrified, or injured, animals, many that lost their lives. Let’s consider the pros and cons of fireworks: Pros: “It’s fun”. Well, yes, but fun at the expense of others.

Cons: It is environmentally destructive; pollutes the air and results in debris, and disturbs birds and other wild animals.

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over to you spot-on letter I’m responding to the letter “dear burnt-out parents...” by Merna Wells (February 2016). I am in complete agreement with her views, and it was vindicating and encouraging to have such an articulate argument validating the mothers who are staying at home with their children, as well as empathising with those who do feel “forced” into both earning and child-rearing at the same time.

Carolyn Hlava

your voice online In response to the article “reacting to allergies” At a restaurant, you can ask the waiter if he knows if the food contains certain allergens, and you can inform your school and friends’ parents, but in the end it is not the waiter’s responsibility if the sauce that comes with the food contains something your child should not eat. And it is not your child’s friends’ parent’s responsibility to make sure your child does not get in touch with something he is Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine

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Fireworks noise is pervasive and violent. This is disconcerting for many people including the elderly, those suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and small children.

Fireworks terrify animals. And to suggest that pets should be locked up does not work; they can still hear the explosions. There are many animals that cannot be given sedatives, such as animals in shelters, strays and wild animals. Sedatives also often do not work sufficiently to shield the animal from the stress caused by fireworks. Over the festive season, many people do not stick to the allotted times when fireworks may be used, and animal owners cannot predict when their pets will be subjected to terrifying noises.

Government must not pander to the indulgences of the inconsiderate. It must raise the consciousness of a society to respect the needs of others and cause the least harm. The use of fireworks is hopelessly incompatible with any ethic one can think of – they have no benefit whatsoever. They need to be prohibited in private hands as soon as possible.

Derek du Toit, Anti-Fireworks Alliance

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Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

allergic to. In the end, every child should know that he shouldn’t just eat anything and should stay away from friends’ lunchboxes. Unfortunately it is not always possible for other parents to change their children’s diets to suit the one child with food allergies.

Lee-anne In response to “falling between the gaps” We have, for the past four years, been trying to get our daughter, now 10 years old, into a remedial or special school. She’s been on the waiting list at the government remedial school without any success.

A few months ago I was very upset that no school was able to assist us, which meant we had to continue struggling in a mainstream school, hoping and praying our daughter will survive the year. Every day was a battle for her of being bullied, having no friends and coming home hating school. So I decided “enough is enough”. I started investigating home-schooling options and private schools.

We couldn’t afford remedial private schools, but I was desperate. Then I learnt about a programme individualising each child’s learning by working on the problem areas instead of just giving the child a curriculum to work on.

I am glad to say that on 1 February 2016 I am opening a therapy and learning centre for my daughter

at home. The plan is to add children in the area whose parents are willing to try something new based on their child’s educational needs. I am definitely not doing this to become rich. My mission is to help my daughter and other children find the fun in learning and overcoming those learning barriers at the same time. Children are the future of this country.

Tanya

My mission is to help my daughter and other children find the fun in learning and overcoming those learning barriers at the same time. subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions.

To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

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thanks Child mag

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health

look mom, no water!

Waterless, antibacterial hand sanitisers are a quick and easy way to clean our hands if we don’t have access to soap and water. But are

n most situations, washing your hands with soap and water is the best way to reduce the number of microbes on them, but what if soap and water are not available? The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention advise that you use an alcohol-based sanitiser that contains at least 60% alcohol.

According to them many studies have found that sanitisers with an alcohol concentration between 60% and 95% are more effective at killing germs than those with a lower alcohol concentration or non-alcohol-based hand sanitisers. But keep in mind that alcohol-based sanitisers are only effective when used properly (see sidebar), and soap and water is more effective when hands are heavily soiled or greasy. Dr Imraan Jhetam, a dermatologist in Durban, supports the use of these cleansers.

“In fact, many operating theatres in, for example, Germany and Australia, use only alcohol spray before operations and have stopped the traditional soap and water scrubbing technique.”

but alcohol?

The World Health Organization (WHO) says, unlike other antiseptics and antibiotics, there is no reported or likely resistance to alcohol-based hand sanitisers or hand rubs.

Indeed, the more it is appropriately used, the less antibioticresistant bacteria are able to spread. The WHO also says published studies have shown that after using the hand

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rubs, alcohol levels found in the blood are insignificant or not detectable. “These sanitisers are safe for topical use,” agrees Jhetam, “unless there are open cuts and wounds for potential absorption of the alcohol, which you’ll feel immediately as it will sting.”

children in the home Unless children drink alcohol-based hand sanitisers – CNN reports that poison control centre hotlines across the US have seen a nearly 400% increase in calls related to children younger than 12 ingesting hand sanitiser – they are perfectly safe. “There is some risk of the skin drying out and potentially becoming irritated, but the incidence is low,” says Jhetam. “As long as the skin is intact and there are no open wounds, there is little or no systemic absorption, even in children,” he adds.

The international skincare and hand hygiene experts, Deb Group, conducted a study in the US, Finland and Sweden, where it was found that hand sanitisers have been used in a variety of elementary schools resulting in a significant drop (30% to 50%) in infectious disease rates. They have also been used in daycare centres by staff and children (under supervision), again showing a significant drop in infection rates. The conclusion is that alcohol-based sanitisers are effective and safe, but should be used in conjunction with soap and water.

how to use hand sanitiser ✻✻ A sufficient amount should be applied to the hands to cover the entire surface of the hand and fingers. ✻✻ An antibacterial hand cleaner is not a substitute for handwashing when there is organic material (dirt) on the hands. The alcohol kills most bacteria and viruses, but only if there is direct contact between the alcohol and the microorganism.

If you can see or feel dirt on your hands, use soap and water. ✻✻ Alcohol works by friction. You need to vigorously rub your hands together to disinfect them.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

i

they effective and safe to use? MARINA ZIETSMAN finds out.

at a

stretch

pregnancy news

Pregnancy is a life-changing experience. But is there a way to “earn your stripes” without having to live with them on your body after giving birth? ANÉL

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

m

LEWIS finds out more about postpartum scars.

y daughter, Erin, often asks me why I have silver patterns all over my “soft tummy”. I tell her they are the “love lines” that were created when I carried her and her brother in my belly. Truth be told though, I would rather not have the unsightly marks that now crisscross my abdomen and hips, and there’s no way I would consider wearing a bikini again.

It’s estimated that about 70% of women develop stretch marks when they’re pregnant. Referred to as striae gravidarum during pregnancy, these pinkish/purple streaks form a road map of thin scars as the skin stretches to accommodate your growing baby. They can also develop during other periods of growth, such as puberty or weight gain. While they’re not painful, they tend to be an embarrassing reminder of pregnancy and many women feel ashamed of the “tiger’s stripes” that linger long after their babies have been born.

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An unretouched image of supermodel Cindy Crawford went viral because it showed the mother-of-two posing with her stretch marks in full view. Mothers around the world uttered a collective sigh of relief as the leaked image proved that even supermodels get stretch marks, and that women can be mothers and still be beautiful. One of the mothers who spoke to Child magazine, on condition of anonymity, admitted that she has tried “everything” to get rid of her stretch marks, including several of the popular oil-based skincare products on the market. But she added: “I really do not have a problem with my stretch marks.

They tell a story and are a symbol that I have brought a wonderful human being into the world.”

causes and cures According to the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, stretch marks usually occur on the abdomen, breasts, buttocks, hips and thighs and

develop about 24 weeks into pregnancy.

They are caused by hormonal changes that affect the elasticity of the skin. The journal reports that genes do come into play, so if your mother battled with stretch marks, take preventative care and keep your skin well hydrated as soon into your pregnancy as possible. There are various topical creams, vitamin-based products and oils on the market that claim to prevent and minimise stretch marks. However, the medical fraternity says there’s no empirical evidence that topical cream can prevent stretch marks from appearing. They advise to rather keep a watch on weight gain during pregnancy, and to continue with moderate exercise and good eating habits.

If you do find your stomach riddled with streaks, consult a dermatologist who may recommend alternative approaches, such as laser treatment or cosmetic surgery. The good news is that the pesky marks tend to fade from pink and purple to a silverywhite colour over time.

scar tissue Other skin issues that may crop up after pregnancy include scar tissue from an episiotomy or from a Caesarean procedure. The episiotomy scar can be cauterised with silver nitrate in your gynaecologist’s rooms.

These days, the Caesarean scar is so small that it will hardly be visible along your bikini line. And, as with stretch marks, applying moisturising cream or oil may minimise their appearance.

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best for baby

talking senses While some of our senses are most powerful at birth, others take time to develop and mature within the first year. TAMMY JACKS speaks to the experts about what to expect and what you can do to enhance your baby’s senses.

adjusting to life Because of the rapid rate at which these senses develop, it’s important to avoid overstimulation by helping your baby slowly adapt to life outside the womb. “In the first 12 weeks, babies are simply learning to regulate, to organise sensations received from their senses, and to control their head and arm movements,” explains Liz Senior, occupational therapist and founder of Clamber Club. They’re also learning how to regulate their sleep cycles and even the way in which they cry. This is why it’s important to respond to their cues and meet their emotional needs immediately. This in turn will help them to self-regulate as they get older. A happy baby who’s not overstimulated can sustain longer periods in a content, “quiet alert” state, the optimal state of readiness to engage with the world through their senses, says Senior.

sensory development Hearing From voices to household sounds such as the vacuum cleaner, an unborn baby can already hear at 25 weeks gestation and will startle with loud noises, explains Cape Town-based paediatrician Dr Henriette Saunders.

Three-month-old babies will turn towards sounds and by the time a baby reaches a year, he’ll listen to a noise behind him or across the room.

How to help Your baby will love the sound of your voice, so sing and talk often, says Senior. You can also use bells and musical toys to encourage them to turn their heads while they listen, adds Stretch. As your baby approaches six months, play hide-and-seek by calling out his name in a higher pitched voice from different areas in the house.

This will teach him to locate sounds. Keep an eye on how your baby responds to sounds and book a hearing test if you’re concerned about anything.

Taste Babies have a sophisticated sense of taste, as the tongue and taste buds are formed at just nine weeks gestation, says Saunders. They’re also exposed to a variety of different flavours in the womb, which are

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transmitted from a mother’s diet through the amniotic fluid.

Babies are born with around 10 000 taste buds, which is why it’s easy for them to differentiate between salty, sweet, bitter and sour flavours, says Saunders.

How to help Evidence shows that 90% of babies’ sensory organs are in their mouths, which is why everything goes into the mouth, specifically in the first year. After six months, help your baby explore the world by giving them a variety of flavours to taste, as well as different toys and textures, which are safe to explore with their mouth.

Smell Babies are born with an advanced sense of smell and are already attuned to their mother’s unique scent, which they’ll be able to distinguish over other women. They’re also attracted to the smell of their mother’s breast milk.

How to help Babies don’t like strong odours, so avoid wearing perfume or deodorant in the first few months, especially around feeding time. Use your baby’s sense of smell to help soothe him. For instance, place an item of your clothing in his crib or give him a bath or massage with a few drops of lavender oil before bedtime.

The truth is, babies are equipped to face the world with their five senses.

Eyesight An unborn baby can see faint light transmitted through their mother’s skin and uterus. At birth, babies can only see in black and white and their eyesight is limited to objects such as their mother’s face within a 20cm to 30cm radius. The good news is that a baby’s sight keeps on developing at a rapid rate, says Saunders. “Their eye movements may not be well coordinated at first, but by four months, a baby can see more colours with less contrast. They also begin to use their eyes to coordinate their hand movements, which makes grabbing objects easier,” she adds.

How to help Enhance your baby’s eye control by using your face as the focal point, and then move from side to side, backwards and forwards, while maintaining eye contact, explains Stretch. Your baby will use his eye muscles to keep focus on your face. You can also use items of clothing, toys or trees and flowers on a nature walk as focal points. “However, only show your baby one

item at a time, as he won’t be able to focus on too many objects at once,” she warns.

Touch Research shows that a baby’s sense of touch is pretty advanced at birth, as a caregiver’s touch not only soothes and relaxes a newborn, it also enhances their growth and development.

How to help “Young babies love to be cuddled, massaged and swaddled as this replicates the comfort of the womb and helps them feel safe and secure,” says Saunders.

To enhance their sense of touch, expose your baby to a variety of different textures from a young age. “You can do this by supporting your baby in a sitting position while on your lap or lying on his tummy. Place a textured toy in your baby’s hands or a few within his reach, and encourage him to feel and play with the toys,” advises My Smart Kid’s occupational therapist, Susan Hugo.

the sound of music Joburg-based vocal trainer and mom of two, Simone Venter, talks about how simply singing around the house enhanced her children’s hearing, sight and speech. “From when my son and daughter were babies, I’d always sing to them during our daily activities, such as getting dressed, eating or having a bath. I’d even sing my words at times, as joining words into a stream of sound helps to broaden vowel sounds and children often hear words better this way. Plus, I’d focus on having fun with them – using my hands and facial expressions while singing and talking to them. This helped them to see and hear what I was saying, which resulted in them becoming a lot more expressive and responsive. Now at the ages of two and four, they both have a wide vocabulary and speak clearly, rather than mumbling. I truly believe that singing has taught them to be more confident and pronounce their words better.”

top toys for tummy time ✻✻ ✻✻

A baby mirror A sensory ball (made of different colours and textured materials) ✻✻ A rattle with a comfortable grip ✻✻ Soft or rubber toys that make a noise, which babies will be able to pick up and hold on their own Top toy tips supplied by My Smart Kid

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

y

our child might seem small and helpless at birth, but the truth is, babies are equipped to face the world with their five senses, which already start developing in the womb. Soon after birth, babies are able to taste, smell, touch and hear to their maximum ability, says PE-based early childhood development specialist Dr Lauren Stretch.

“Sight is the only sense that takes time to develop fully, but newborns can still see objects a few centimetres away.”

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dealing with difference

, p u t i e k sha

baby!

Children heal remarkably quickly and they are keen to do TRE at home as the exercises are simple and fun.

Many children experience stress and trauma in early childhood, which can lead to debilitating problems. MELISSA FAGAN explains how tension and trauma releasing exercises can effectively help children.

what is TRE? TRE stands for tension and trauma releasing exercises. It is a body-based modality developed by Dr David Berceli after years of researching and observing traumatised communities across Africa and the Middle East. The technique is based on the premise that our bodies, like those of other mammals, are wired to tremor when subjected to stress and trauma.

The exercise routine served to start the process of balancing his nervous system and bringing a feeling of calm to his body.

According to Berceli, this instinct to shake when frightened or stressed is our natural way of releasing the charge that the rush of stress chemicals causes in the body. However, we have been taught to suppress our shaking mechanism, which is perceived as a sign of weakness or being “out of control”. As a result, the accumulation of stress toxins in the body causes both physical and emotional discomfort and, over time, disease.

However, Salmon is confident that once the damage is done, there is a very real possibility for healing with TRE, one that I witnessed first-hand with my own child.

I turned to Wendy Scurr to help my son. Scurr, who has 25 years’ experience working in the area of learner support in schools, runs a flourishing independent practice in Cape Town using TRE to help stressed children and parents. Through her work she has observed time and again how children who struggle in the school environment, either socially or academically, are those whose nervous systems are unable to handle stress and operate from a place of “fight or flight”.

Scurr has had great success with children with ADD and ADHD, especially those on Ritalin or Concerta and also teenagers who lack self-confidence or have become increasingly susceptible to peer and social pressures. One of the most obvious benefits she sees is the child’s enhanced ability to learn as a result of becoming calmer, more confident and happy.

“Counselling and medication serve only to temporarily deal with the symptoms,” says Scurr. “While the child’s body is experiencing an ongoing state of fear, little learning, if any, takes place.”

My son attended sessions with Scurr over an eight-week period. Each session began with a sequence of simple exercises, which stretched and gently fatigued his muscles. The exercise routine served to start the process of balancing his nervous system and bringing a feeling of calm to his body.

During and after this period, I noticed a marked change in his behaviour, the most noteworthy of which was a fluid transition to his new school and eventually the desire to get a pet – a dog no less. Scurr says: “Children heal remarkably quickly and they are keen to do TRE at home as the exercises are simple and fun.”

Most nights before he goes to bed, I encourage my son (now six) to do some TRE. There is never a problem with motivation. He always readily agrees, knowing that it’s something that makes him feel relaxed and happy and helps him to shake off the experiences of the day. Within a short space of time he has learnt a self-empowering tool that he will use for the rest of his life, one that is a cheaper and more immediately effective alternative to medication or counselling for the anxiety, stress and trauma he is likely to face as he grows up.

how does TRE help children?

Dr Melanie Salmon, a medical doctor, Gestalt psychotherapist and TRE practitioner (trained by Berceli himself) is at the forefront of the TRE movement in South Africa. She has trained many practitioners to facilitate TRE and has helped make South Africa the largest TRE-providing country in the world. Having conducted outcomes-based research at the SOS Children’s Village and the Chrysalis Academy in Cape Town, she has found that even children who present with ADD and ADHD or whose nervous systems have been severely compromised by foetal alcohol syndrome, are able to heal through TRE. According to Salmon, children’s brains and nervous systems are very vulnerable to stress, especially in the early years when their brains are growing and setting down neural pathways. “If the child is exposed to stress during those early formative years, then he doesn’t develop the resilience to handle stress later on and becomes more vulnerable to stress,” says Salmon.

This made sense to me in light of my son’s traumatic birth, though Salmon was quick to point out that his actual birth experience and the short time he spent in ICU would not have made the difference to his stress resilience. It was likely to be the ongoing stress that he picked up from us during his first year (as a result of our worries over his uncertain future) that would have compromised his nervous system even more.

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TRE can help children with… ✻✻

anxiety

✻✻

temper tantrums

✻✻

aggressive behaviour

✻✻

bedwetting and nail biting

✻✻

poor school performance

✻✻

ADD and ADHD

✻✻

concentration issues

✻✻

grief and loss

✻✻

sleep issues

✻✻

headaches

TRE resources ✻✻

For more information about TRE: traumaprevention.com

✻✻

To find a provider in your area: treforafrica.com

✻✻

The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process: Transcend Your Toughest Times

(Namaste Publising) By David Berceli

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ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

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y son’s first experience of life was traumatic. His birth in the UK was a horrible mix of distress in labour, meconium in the waters and a weeklong stay in ICU. This was followed by MRI scans, regular hospital checkups and a lot of uncertainty about his future outcomes. Thankfully, he made a full recovery and went on to reach all of his early childhood milestones.

But at the age of five, his growing anxiety became a cause for concern. Like most children his age, he was afraid of monsters and the dark, but he had other unfounded fears too, such as dogs, showers, crowds and loud noises. Given that he was about to enter his Grade R year at a new school, an experience that in itself could become a cause for anxiety, I decided to address these concerns. I turned to TRE – the therapy I had used to heal my own stress and trauma.

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getaway

ski time PETER KILPIN and family hit the ski slopes at two local resorts and had the time of their lives.

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On the slopes at Tiffindell

so why go?

A skiing holiday to Europe will cost around R20 000 per day (including flights) for a family of four. A ski holiday to either Tiffindell or Afriski, on the other hand, will only cost R5 000 per day. These resorts are primarily aimed at families who have never skied before. Children are just as excited on the nursery slopes wherever they are in the world.

The big drawcard is the quality of ski lessons. Most of the instructors are foreign, which means you get exactly the same tuition at 25% of the European cost. It makes sense to start local and then explore the European resorts at a later stage.

when to go?

Both Tiffindell and Afriski promise a three-month season from the beginning of June to the end of August.

Realistically, the best time to go is during July and August when there is a better chance of natural snow. Both resorts have snow-making facilities, so even if there is no natural snow, there will always be enough snow to cover the nursery, intermediate and most of the main

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slopes. Both resorts can potentially have a ski slope of 1km in length. Do not be put off by this, as the slopes are well-groomed and 1km is more than sufficient to hone one’s skills.

where to go?

Tiffindell… ✻✻ is located just south of Lesotho near the small Eastern Cape town of Rhodes. ✻✻ offers an all-inclusive option, which includes DBB (dinner, bed and breakfast) accommodation, ski hire and a ski pass for the duration of your stay – no hidden costs. Packages can be for three, four or seven nights. ✻✻ No passport required.

Afriski… ✻✻ is located in the north of Lesotho. ✻✻ is an easy drive from Joburg or Durban. ✻✻ offers accommodation for three, four or seven nights and the option of adding on additional ski services, meals, and more. ✻✻ Passports and children’s unabridged birth certificates are required.

Both resorts offer a similar standard of service and infrastructure, so your decision would really be based on your preferred location. Afriski is definitely more accessible for the majority of us and it has enjoyed many successful seasons. Tiffindell has had a chequered past but, based on my recent visit, I was pleased to see

The Kilpins at Tiffindell

that the new owners are doing their very best to create a winter wonderland for families.

getting there There is nothing better than a well-organised road trip in the July school holidays.

Tiffindell is a 12-hour drive from both Cape Town and Joburg. You can make the most of the journey by stopping over in a country town, such as Graaff-Reinet.

Afriski is an easy five-hour drive from Joburg with the option of spending a night in the beautiful Free State town of Clarens or visiting the Golden Gate Highlands National Park.

It is a good idea to spend a night close to either Tiffindell or Afriski, as both resorts allow free use of their slopes on the day of your arrival – unlike European resorts.

You can therefore effectively get in at least four days of skiing when staying four nights.

Both resorts are situated high up in the mountains at about 2 700m – higher than most European resorts. Access

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PHOTOGRAPHS: Peter Kilpin / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

outh Africa is known for its outdoor experiences, like viewing the Big Five, but you may be surprised to hear that snow skiing is also on the list of great outdoor activities families can enjoy. Tiffindell in the Eastern Cape and Afriski in Lesotho both offer these unique opportunities.

is possible in a high clearance 2x4 in normal conditions – alternative transport can be arranged if conditions are not suitable.

upon arrival You will be well looked after on arrival, but be prepared for a hectic first few hours as skiing requires a lot of admin, such as ski passes, ski hire and ski lessons. Plan your arrival outside of the very busy times (between 12pm and 4pm), as the majority of the guests arrive on the same day – referred to as the dreaded “changeover day” in European ski resorts.

inside tips It is always a good idea to join the ski school rather than opting for a private lesson. Besides the obvious cost, it is very social and you will get to meet and laugh with all the other like-minded guests. There is nothing more amusing than watching a fellow beginner snow-ploughing down a gentle slope, unable to stop.

Both resorts accept children from the age of five or six into their ski schools – helmets are provided for all children, but as a seasoned skier, I would recommend that everyone wears a helmet.

I also suggest that you ask for ski boots that are at least a full size larger than your standard shoe size – there is nothing worse than having uncomfortable boots.

Ski outfits are generally not glamorous, unless you spend thousands of rands on trendy ski gear. I suggest that you beg, borrow or steal whatever ski clothing you can get as it really does not matter what you look like on the slopes – just as long as you are warm (see list of what to pack).

Both resorts allow day visitors. This is not ideal, as you miss out on the après-ski part of the holiday, but a good idea if on a budget. There are inns and guesthouses situated within 45 minutes of both resorts.

entertainment Besides the obvious enjoyment of skiing – mostly hilarious photo opportunities – both Afriski and Tiffindell have lots of entertainment options for children and parents. They both offer child-friendly ski schools, as well as a playroom and daycare facilities for children five years old and younger.

There is a short bum-board run for children, which is also great fun for the whole family.

Then there is the après-ski. This is no different from a normal European experience – the Austrians do this the

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best, especially in the Tyrolean region. Both local resorts have music playing at outside “snow” pubs – Afriski has a better one for now (The Cooler Box), but Tiffindell is working on this challenge. They also have great pubs – Gondola Café at Afriski and Ice Station 2720 at Tiffindell – Tiffindell wins here with an authentic Austrian-style pub with a large fireplace.

“Unusual Fun Adult Behaviour Allowed” is the sign hanging outside Ice Station 2720 – no need to explain any further, but expect to be hanging upside down by skis from the roof. Children are allowed into the pubs with their parents.

what to pack It is cold on the slopes, but it can get very warm when skiing for a while, so don’t overdo the clothing.

The following items are essential ✻✻ Ski pants and jacket (do not skimp on these) ✻✻ Ski gloves (proper ski gloves) ✻✻ Ski socks (long thick socks that cover your shins) ✻✻ Sunglasses (preferably with a polaroid option) ✻✻ Suntan lotion (you can burn quite badly at 3 000m) ✻✻ Beanie/hat (best to cover your ears) Optional extras ✻✻ You can wear thermal underwear, but it can get very warm and uncomfortable under ski pants ✻✻ A good sweat top for under your jacket is a great idea – together with a T-shirt or thermal top ✻✻ Good mobile camera ✻✻ Boots for walking in the snow

There is nothing better than a well-organised road trip in the July school holidays.

March/April 2016

15

education

read, enjoy

& discover “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go,” says Dr Seuss. But children will only read if they enjoy it. MARINA ZIETSMAN

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t has been said that: “There is no such thing as a child who hates to read; there are only children who have not found the right book.” US-based publishers Scholastic have been delivering children’s books and resources to parents, schools, and teachers for more than 90 years, and they publish their Kids and Family Reading Report annually. This national survey of over 1 000 children (six to 17 years old), and their parents, explores the attitudes and behaviours around reading books. It’s a hefty document (108 pages), filled with stats and figures, but the core message is: children who have fun reading become frequent readers. In this survey, 83% of the children enjoyed being read to aloud at home. “It’s a special time with my parent”, was the main reason, followed by “reading together is fun” and “it’s relaxing to be read to before I go to sleep”. Research shows that children who were read to at home enjoyed a substantial advantage over children who were not. These children could recognise the letters of the alphabet and were more likely to count to 20 or higher than those who were not read to.

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March/April 2016

how to get started

babies up to 18 months

Children are not born with a natural aversion to reading.

Just think how much a toddler loves a new book, looking at the pictures over and over. Most children develop a fear of, or reluctance to, reading because of the pressures associated with it. What if they’re required to read out loud in class and make a mess of things and everyone laughs at them? What if they’re tested on the material and fail? Older reluctant readers usually feel they’re so far behind their peers with reading that they don’t bother starting. Academic pressures aside, children also don’t read because they don’t have time. Extramurals and homework keep them too busy, and in the rare time off, they’re often overstimulated by screens. But according to Harvard Graduate School of Education staff members Joe Blatt, Nonie Lesaux and Catherine Snow, you can get children to read, to stimulate their imagination and expand their understanding of the world. In their book Encouraging your Child to Read they give practical and age-appropriate suggestions to get started. Here are their guidelines…

Babies learn while being cared for by their parents, and by the interactions they have with their parents – laughing, talking, noises, and when you read to your baby, they begin to connect books with joyful time spent with a parent. The authors suggest that you talk to your baby, repeat nursery rhymes and sing songs. You can do this any time: while changing a nappy or taking a walk. A baby needs to hear your voice and learn about things he sees. Share board books with your baby, and move on to lift-the-flap books when your baby reaches a year old.

toddlers 18 months to three years old Blatt, Lesaux and Snow say children become readers before they learn to read, so by enjoying books together now, you will help them enjoy books later in life. Children who are read to and interact with you while you’re reading (asking questions, for example) build important language skills. Listen to your child and encourage them to say more.

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PHOTOGRAPH: Tara Kelly Photography

finds practical tips to help you help your child enjoy the experience.

Ask questions, show an interest in what they say and help them learn new words. It’s important to make books part of the daily routine, such as special reading time before bed, and during those moments limit distractions such as phones and TV. At this stage it’s also advantageous to give your child paper and something to draw with. Then ask your child to explain what they’re drawing and help them with more ideas to add to the picture/story.

recommended reading for 0 to three year olds ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻

African Nursery Rhymes by Liz Mills The Alfie books by Shirley Hughes Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See by Bill Martin Jr Busy Baby by Carole Bloch Diphoofolo by Reviva Schermbrucker Goodnight Moon by Margaret Brown Handa’s Hen by Eileen Browne One Bear All Alone by Caroline Bucknall The Spot books by Eric Hill The Very Busy Spider and The Very Hungry Caterpillar

by Eric Carle

preschoolers (three to five year olds) The authors say that learning lots of words from birth helps make preschoolers readers for life. As with reading, children become writers before they learn to write.

Their scribbles and attempts at writing are all important for developing strong literacy skills. You can help your child by linking the books you read to people and places your child sees when out and about. Here you can also ask your child to point out letters she recognises from the books on window signs or the restaurant menu. You can also play-read: sing or make up rhymes together, or have your child tell you a story. Write this down and ask questions to encourage their imagination to add elements to this story. You can then read this story together. You should also encourage your preschooler to talk and ask questions when reading together. Have your child “pretend read” the parts she has memorised.

Point out words and signs and talk about the letters and sounds.

early graders (six to nine year olds) It’s important to remember that a positive reading experience encourages more reading, and the more children read, the

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better they will read, boosting confidence. Blatt, Lesaux and Snow say early readers can build their confidence by rereading books they are familiar with. Reading and talking about storybooks and non-fiction helps younger children learn information and skills they need for academic success in later grades. From the age of eight years old, children need to start understanding that words we use in conversation are mostly different from the words we see in books. From this age children are expected to read to learn, and to gain information from books. Now your child will need encouragement, praise and patience, especially if they are struggling in school. For six and seven year olds you can reread a favourite book, and eventually your child will be able to read it to you. Listen when your child is reading and have conversations about the book. By limiting your child’s screen and TV time, they will get more sleep, do better in school and behave better. But you can marry the two concepts by choosing programmes online or on TV that will interest your child and build knowledge.

Then get books on these subjects to read. From eight years up you can hang maps or other interesting posters in their room that can stimulate inquisitive minds. Expose your children to board or card games, and visit places of interest regularly, such as museums or the zoo, and encourage discussions. Challenge your eight to nine year old by reading books or stories from the newspaper out loud. This way you are introducing your child to new ideas and topics. And you don’t only have to keep favourite storybooks around the home. Child-friendly magazines and electronic books serve the same purpose.

recommended reading for three to nine year olds ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻

Five Minutes Peace by Jill Murphy (1–4) Hi, Zoleka by Gcina Mhlophe and Elizabeth Pulles (3–7) God’s Dream by Desmond Tutu, Douglas Carlton Abrams and Leuyen Pham (3–7) One Round Moon and a Star for Me by Ingrid Mennen and Niki Daly (4–7) The Winnie the Witch books by Valerie Thomas and Korky Paul (4–7) The Zanzibar Road books by Niki Daly (4–7) The Best Meal Ever by Sindiwe Magona and Paddy Bouma (5+) Books are Friends by Carole Bloch and Alzette Prins (5+) The Cat in the Hat books by Dr Seuss (5–8) Brenda Has a Dragon in Her Blood by Hijltje Vink and Diny van de Lustgraaf (6–8)

✻✻ ✻✻

Lizzie Zipmouth by Jacqueline Wilson (6–9) Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak (6+)

preteens By the age of 10 or 11 years old, many children lose interest in reading. The key is to find reading material every day that captures their interest and can help them to continue to build knowledge and skills, says Blatt, Lesaux and Snow. At this stage, vocabulary growth is critical to prepare for understanding high school textbooks. You can help by bringing the world into your home. Read newspapers and discuss issues. Talk about what happens at your workplace and your child can share the goings-on at school. Play word or trivia games. It’s always important to have reading material around the house, to hopefully encourage your preteen to read.

recommended reading for preteens ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻

Bettina Valentino and the Picasso Club by Niki Daly The Captain Underpants books by Dav Pilkey Roald Dahl books The Diary of a Wimpy Kid books by Jeff Kinney The Harry Potter series by JK Rowling The Judy Moody series by Megan McDonald and Peter H Reynolds Let There Be Peace by Jeremy Brookes and Jude Daly Love, David by Dianne Case The A Series of Unfortunate Events books by Lemony Snicket and Brett Helquist Stories of Africa by Gcina Mhlophe The Worry Website by Jacqueline Wilson

support The bottom line is that you should talk to your children about what you and they are reading. This way you’ll show your child that you enjoy reading and believe learning is important. Introduce your child to a library. Scatter books, magazines and newspapers in everyday places. You don’t have to ban the internet, but visit websites with your children. Choose e-books together; you can also listen to audiobooks. Have conversations with your child about diverse topics. Encourage questions. Children learn so much from conversations.

A final word from Blatt, Lesaux and Snow: “Remember, reading is social. Talking about what children and adults are reading is part of academic success.”

Recommended reading lists courtesy of Nal’ibali, a national reading-for-enjoyment campaign. Visit nalibali.org

March/April 2016

17

parenting

raising children who have it all The most advantaged children are showing signs of emotional distress and escalating mental illness, but how do we raise children to be happy and healthy regardless of failure and success? SAMANTHA PAGE investigates.

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March/April 2016

“It was kind of hard to think that the world revolved around you when you had eight brothers and sisters,” says Kindlon, author of Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children in an Indulgent Age (Hyperion). But it’s not just parents who think their children are special.

Children believe it too and are enforcing it, but while a healthy sense of confidence is what all parents want their children to achieve, when confidence morphs into entitlement, narcissism and over-riding self-absorption, an unintended consequence is depression, anger, anxiety and interpersonal strife.

the price of privilege In The Price of Privilege (HarperCollins), clinical psychologist Madeline Levine’s insightful and somewhat controversial book, she comments on the culture of affluence and the effect it has had on the youth. “When I closed the door behind my last unhappy teenage patient of the week I slumped into my well-worn chair feeling depleted and surprisingly close to tears,” she writes. “The 15 year old who had just left my office was bright, personable, highly pressured by her adoring, but frequently preoccupied, parents, and very angry. She had used a razor to incise the word ‘empty’ on her left forearm. I tried to imagine how intensely unhappy my young patient must have felt to cut her distress into her flesh.”

Levine, who has been treating unhappy teenagers for more than 25 years, contends that she has seen this trend escalate at alarming rates in the past few years and that the culture of both materialism and its psychological by-products have become unmanageable for parents – mothers in particular – and their children. While many privileged children project confidence and know how to make a good impression, alarming numbers lack the basic foundation of psychological development: an authentic sense of self.

Despite parental concern and economic advantage, Levine observed that many of the teens she counsels lack practical skills for navigating the world; they can be

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ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

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mother of two teenagers from Gauteng confesses: “Our children are sad. Even though we give them everything – more than we had when we were growing up – I think we were happier. One of my daughter’s friends had a panic attack in class the other day. Everybody thought she was having a heart attack because she couldn’t breathe and she was clutching at her chest, but it turned out to be anxiety about a test and the growing pressures at school. Her parents really want her to get into a good university, so there’s that burden too. There is something so wrong about children experiencing that kind of extreme stress. I guess money really can’t buy happiness.”

While unhappy teenagers are hardly uncommon, according to a new study, it has become increasingly common for teenagers – particularly those from privileged homes – to exhibit mental health problems, neuroses, substance abuse and eating disorders.

Psychologist Suniya Luthar of Columbia University’s Teachers College, says her research revealed that many children were simply unable to cope with the continual demands to do well made upon them by their aspirational parents.

Speaking to the Daily Mail, Luthar said: “The evidence suggests that the privileged young are much more vulnerable than in previous generations. I have spent the last decade researching why this is the case. The evidence points to one cause: the pressure for high-octane achievement.”

While less-privileged families face enormous challenges, privileged teenagers seem to have their own set of hurdles to overcome. Some experts attribute these challenges to an increasingly narcissistic society – obsessed with taking pictures of themselves, documenting every aspect of their lives on social media platforms and following reality TV celebrities heralding them as role models, but Harvard University’s Dan Kindlon presents another interesting contention, which relates to how families have shrunk and how children are now seen as more precious.

easily frustrated or impulsive; and they have trouble anticipating the consequences of their actions. They are also overly dependent on the opinions of parents, teachers, coaches and peers and frequently rely on others, not only to pave the way on difficult tasks, but to grease the wheels of everyday life as well. While often personable and academically successful, they aren’t particularly creative or interesting. They complain about being bored despite a range of material possessions, of which technology forms a large part.

#unhappy If that’s the situation in the US, is South Africa following suit? “There has definitely been a rise in depression, eating disorders and suicide,” says Taryn Brown, an educational psychologist at Bryanwood Therapy and Assessment Centre, in Sandton, Gauteng.

“According to SADAG (the South African Depression and Anxiety Group) suicide rates in teenagers in our country have nearly doubled in the last 15 years.

“While I’m not entirely sure this trend can be solely attributed to the privileged in SA, I do think there is so much pressure on parents these days – especially moms – to ‘do it all’. Parents are overwhelmed and technology means parents are constantly in contact with work, so there is sometimes an emotional disconnect between parents and their children.

It’s very uncommon these days that there’s one parent at home like in previous generations.

The financial and societal pressures have left most parents overextended. Some parents use technology as a babysitter and the result is corrosion in the traditional family as we knew it.”

Levine believes that there’s an inverse relationship between parental income and closeness between parents and children and she suggests adopting the ritual of eating dinner as a family as it will cultivate a healthy closeness. Children in such a family are much less likely to suffer from psychological problems.

But should we be focused solely on parents? What about teachers, coaches and school leadership? Is their role not as important in nurturing and moulding our children to place value on the right things?

“Parents are only one part of the equation,” says a Cape Town mom who recalls a very “uncomfortable” interaction at a recent parent-teacher meeting. “The teachers were telling me how anxious my son is in class and that I am putting too much pressure on him, but my son tells me how the teachers and coaches at the private school he attends are constantly telling him and his classmates that they need to do better, study harder, and participate in more extramural activities. He says they are often told that if they don’t pass a test they’ll fail their grade or get detention, which makes him very nervous because he doesn’t want to let anyone down.”

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in pursuit of happiness If everybody’s intentions are good and honourable, yet our children aren’t happy or sufficiently emotionally equipped, how can we raise well-adjusted, responsible and grateful children? These experts offer a few ideas: Keep things in perspective “Materialism causes children to place value on external factors (receiving a cellphone for a good school report) above internal factors, such as feeling proud of their effort,” says Brown. “Everything we want our children to value starts with the parents, so moms and dads need to model behaviour that shows humility and gratitude for the privileges they have.”

Spend time with those who struggle “Giving time to those who are challenged by their lack of resources, disabilities or are marginalised in some way can certainly help us to not get so full of ourselves. My research has found that volunteerism and community-based learning make people more compassionate and help to lower their stress levels to boot,” says Thomas Plante, clinical professor of psychiatry at Stanford University.

Make real connections “Turning off the TV at least one night a week and monitoring internet usage is very important. Such actions teach children the values that can lead to greater life satisfaction. Children who become too immersed in media glitz feel unfulfilled or even like failures because they are not fabulously rich or famous,” comments psychologist and Harvard University lecturer Susan E Linn.

An inconvenient truth “Not every child can be shaped and accelerated into university material. But all children can have their spirits broken, depression induced and anxiety stoked by too much stress, too little downtime and too much attention given to external factors that make them look good to an audience of appraising eyes but leave them feeling rotten inside. Parents should learn new ways to express their love and concern, trading their fears of failure for faith in their children’s innate strengths, and prioritising the joys and challenges of life in the present overanxious visions of an uncertain future,” suggests Levine.

It’s not a chore – it’s learning in action “Parents today want their children spending time on things that can bring them success but, ironically, we’ve stopped doing the one thing that’s actually been a proven predictor of success – household chores,” says Richard Rende, a developmental psychologist and co-author of the book Raising Can-Do Kids (Tarcher Perigee). While it may seem like a small message now, agreeing to let your children skip their chores so they can do homework sends the message that school achievements are more important than caring about others.

March/April 2016

19

education

the right school Avoid typecasting a child with a certain school.

The right school is established when you have a full picture of your child, including the not-so-apparent challenges they may be dealing with. BY LUCILLE KEMP

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longside the birth of your child, dreams of sending them to “the best school” are born. A school’s prestige is often the bottom line for many parents deciding on a school for their child. Other parents classically default to wanting to send their child to the school they went to. Joburg-based educational psychologist Cara Blackie has seen all too often how this misguided thinking can play out: Sensitive son gets bundled off to boarding school to toughen up. It backfires because, quite simply, these parents aren’t acknowledging their child’s personal strengths.

pay close attention Your child is an individual, so choosing a school for them needs to be an individualised decision, says Blackie. Cape Town-based parents Stacey and Blaine Saunders* can attest to this as all three of their boys were sent to the same Waldorf School, but only the middle son completed his schooling there. The eldest was moved as he became restless in high school and wanted to get straight to work after Grade 12 instead of doing that extra year offered at Waldorf schools, while the youngest child was moved to a good government school at primary school level because his parents had seen how their eldest two sons had been affected by having their friends live far away from them.

They simply wanted to avoid repeating that pattern.

Given his obvious experience, Blaine has come to see that the key to finding the right school for your child lies in understanding that what you and your child need from a school may change as your child changes over the years. The best way to keep in tune with these changes, says Cape Town-based educational psychologist Celeste Paterson, is to “meet regularly with the teacher and monitor your child’s emotional wellbeing.”

“The point of school is to build your child up in areas that will make them confident,” states Blackie. Not all children thrive in a traditional education setting, says Paterson.

Some might need more freedom and understanding of their needs, other children might be socially anxious and not cope in a classroom with many other children. For children who suffer from performance anxiety, Blackie recommends choosing a school where there is less focus on achieving excellence and more on acknowledging strengths, big and small.

Taking your child to an educational psychologist for a psychoeducational assessment, which is an assessment of the psychological aspects of learning and academic skills, can be the first step to pinpointing any issues your child may have and which direction to move in to prevent these issues from becoming a real hindrance to their learning.

Blackie says that it is important, if learning difficulties are identified, that you play open cards with the school your child is at and if the school is not able to assist, to seriously consider enrolling them with a good remedial school. These schools are equipped to offer the therapies, teaching methods and emotional understanding that will help your child flourish.

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March/April 2016

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

what is your child’s special need?

Blackie witnessed the profound difference a remedial school can make to a child when she assessed, and was responsible for, the school placement of seven-year-old Hannah*. “In the initial assessment she was shy, hardly spoke and struggled to write her name as her language development was significantly delayed.” Hannah tried a local government school but her delays only became more marked. She was picked on by her peers and didn’t receive assistance in class. With the help of a follow-up assessment and careful planning, Hannah was moved to a remedial school where she was placed in a grade-appropriate class as developmentally she was below her age level. Her marks increased quickly and she became more confident – she was no longer afraid to be wrong in class, she would ask to read, wanted to learn how to write unfamiliar words and even won the athletics award in her first year at the school.

There is no prototype for the perfect school. An established government school may surprise you with their advanced practices such as a no-homework policy, or you may find that a school that has pitched itself as progressive wants to instil what you consider to be rigid and irrelevant rules such as “no TV allowed”. Whatever your preference, be it boarding school, single-sex or co-ed, private or government, home-schooling or the alternative Ambleside, Waldorf or Montessori options, the “best school” is the kind of environment that is going to bring out the best in your child and locking this down requires that, from early on in their lives, you’re focused on getting to know who they are – what interests them, their strengths and their weaknesses.

when shortlisting schools Have you vetted your catchment area? If you are sending your child to a government school, says Paterson, you will be confined to schools in your area, so make sure you visit these schools well in advance to ensure that you are happy with the facilities and staff. Go for school visits and meet the principal. In some cases your child can even visit the school for a day.

Are you familiar with the school’s ethos? And are you happy that it may not align with your family’s values and morals?

What kind of support does the school offer? Do they offer emotional as well as academic support? What is the school’s approach to learning difficulties?

What is your availability? If you work late hours, Blackie advises that you look at schools with good aftercare facilities that can assist your child with homework. You should try to choose a school that is nearby either your office or home. “A child should not needlessly have to travel for a long time every morning as this would result in them getting less sleep and being tired at school.”

Could your child benefit from a psychoeducational assessment? Your child gets a full assessment and if they present with educational difficulties, extra support is established. Armed with a host of information, with further advice on school placement, you have a greater chance of finding the right school for your child. *Names have been changed

The “best school” is the kind of environment that is going to bring out the best in your child.

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March/April 2016

21

resource

In the mood for a lazy lunch, or would you prefer an upmarket dinner? Family eating just got easier with this selection of foodie spots around Durban. By TAMLYN VINCENT

sweet goodness Burnedale Café Combine creativity and a passion for great food, and you’ll find the sweetest treats on the North Coast. With boutique shops, jungle gyms, farm animals and more, this centre is a must.

Foodie highlights The Billionaire tart has fast become a hit, and for something savoury try the famous chicken stack.

Opening times 8:30am–3:30pm daily Address 1 Old Main Rd, Umhlali Contact 032 947 0133 or burnedale.co.za

viva italia Chez Nous This bright, modern restaurant caters for families with its large children’s play area. Fit in some shopping and stay for lunch, or make a special trip for breakfast or dinner.

Foodie highlights Whether you’re looking for something meaty or vegetarian, the pizzas and pastas have you sorted. Also choose from the grills, chicken or seafood. Children can have their meals with chips, mash, salad or veggies.

Opening times 7am–9pm Monday–Saturday, 7am–3pm Sunday Address Westville Junction, shop 1 ground floor, 31 Westville Rd Contact 031 266 7011, chez-nous1@mweb.co.za or chez-nous.co.za

al fresco dining at the beach Circus Circus Beach Café Heading to the beach for a swim, or cycling down the promenade? Stop by this popular restaurant and café that focuses on providing value for money in a friendly atmosphere, right on the beach.

Foodie highlights They have a wide variety of meals to choose from, including breakfasts, lunches, seafood and more.

Opening times 6am–6pm in summer, 6am–5pm in winter Address shop 1, Snell Parade, Bay of Plenty Contact 031 337 7700 or circuscircus.co.za

have a cuppa while they play Lucky Bean Relax and enjoy the home-made food, cakes and awesome coffee while your children play safely in this gated facility. An indoor play barn, outdoor play garden and fantasy sheds keep children entertained.

Foodie highlights Try the smoked salmon, cream cheese and corn fritters, the famous Philadelphia carrot cake, coronation chicken wraps, or the home-made bacon and cheese hamburgers. There are also great food options for children.

Opening times 9am–4pm Tuesday–Sunday Address 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay Contact 082 216 3892 or info@luckybean.co (no .za)

friday family night Lupa Based on a traditional Italian osteria, they serve authentic Italian food in a fun, vibrant atmosphere created by friendly staff. The focus is on fresh food, all of which is made in-house, including the pasta and pizza.

Foodie highlights Fresh pasta, Roman-style pizzas and beautiful seafood, beef fillet and chicken dishes cooked in the wood-fired ovens.

Opening times 12pm–2:30pm and 5:30pm–9pm Monday and Tuesday, 12pm–2:30pm and 5:30pm–9:30pm Wednesday and Thursday, 12pm–3pm and 5:30pm–10pm Friday and Saturday, 12pm–3pm and 5:30pm–8pm Sunday Address Shop A20 Lillies Quarter, 12-16 Old Main Rd, Hillcrest Contact 031 765 3059 or lupa.co.za

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March/April 2016

Marula’s Originally a trading store in 1897, this coffee shop and restaurant has a play area and entertainment on weekends.

Foodie highlights Lunches include delicious tramezzinis and wraps, or try the Mighty Marula’s beef burger. There’s a range of toasted sandwiches for children, along with breakfast, nuggets or burgers.

Opening times 9am–9pm Tuesday–Saturday, 9am–3:30pm Sunday Address 112 Maryvale Rd, Westville Contact 031 266 7600 or marulas.co.za

mouth-watering burgers Pallet Jacks Built from upcycled pallets, this restaurant and play area is certain to keep your children entertained with a giant jungle gym and train rides.

Foodie highlights They offer regular, cheesy or chilli burgers, or choose a chicken or veggie burger. There’s also wood-fired pizza, salads or the braai menu.

Opening times 7:30am–9:30pm daily Address Oxford Village, 9 Old Main Rd, Hillcrest Contact 031 765 2954 or palletjacks.za.com

lazy Sunday lunches Pop-up Society This is a trendy, comfortable and modern family restaurant with exciting community activities, situated in the heart of Glenwood.

Foodie highlights Gourmet burgers are the speciality, but they also have a children’s menu, curries and many other dishes to try.

Opening times 8am–10pm daily Address 132 Helen Joseph Rd, Glenwood Contact 031 201 5566 or popupsociety.co.za

farm-style fare Shongweni Farmer’s Market People can find over 80 food and fresh produce stalls at this country market (dogs also allowed). You can purchase locally produced, everyday items such as milk, cheese, vegetables and meat, and luxury items such as home-made cakes and pies.

Foodie highlights Local foodies cook up home-style breakfasts, from on-the-go chocolate croissants and pizzas fresh from the oven to hearty cooked breakfasts, or something for the more health conscious.

Opening times 6:30am–11:30am every Saturday Address Mr551 Rd, Shongweni Contact shonwgenimarket.co.za

go healthy The Morning Trade This weekly food market creates an urban space for you to buy farm-fresh produce, quality meats and community-conscious foods.

Foodie highlights Find everything from scrumptious crepes to delicious burgers.

Opening times 8am–1pm every Sunday Address The Plant, 5 Station Dr, Durban Contact info@themorningtrade.co.za or Facebook: The Morning Trade

picnics for pros The Rain Farm Game and Lodge This venue offers a family game drive and picnic for four. Choose your picnic spot at one of the scenic dams to enjoy your snacks, refreshments and some fishing.

Foodie highlights The picnic includes mini wraps, chicken strips, samosas, vegetable crudité and cream cheese, chocolate brownies, and cool drinks and water. Custom picnic baskets can be arranged.

Opening times 7am–4pm; picnics must be booked Address F9 Rain Farm Esenembe Rd, Umhlali Contact 032 815 1050, 083 352 6830 or rainfarm.co.za

have your veggies The Sage Café & Deli Enjoy healthy wholesome food, a relaxing atmosphere, children’s entertainment and a chance to pop into the spa or boutiques.

Foodie highlights Vegetarians are catered for with the sage aubergine stack or house salad. Non-veg dishes are available.

Opening times 8am–4pm Saturday–Thursday, 8am–8pm Friday Address Old Fort Rd, Salt Rock Contact 032 525 8059 or sagecafe.co.za magazine durban

ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

family feasting

leisurely lunchtimes

books

a good

read

toddlers Catch the Cuddle

By Mike Smith (Published by Egmont Books, R133) One morning Daisy wakes up feeling not quite right. “I need a cuddle,” she sighs.

Just then, there is a knock at the door.

There’s a Big Cuddle on the loose and Daisy wants to catch it. Lift the flaps for hidden treats as Daisy sets off on a cuddle-chase across town. Where’s Wally? meets Richard Scarry in this warm and reassuring story about how you can never have too many cuddles.

early graders Marigold and the Faraway Tree

By Alison Fast and Wendy Paterson preschoolers Oliver’s Outline

By Alan Glass and Sandy Lightley (Published by Pan Macmillan SA, R103) Like many children and adults, Oliver has to face his fears and anxiety. He believes that all his problems would lessen if he had an outline. With encouragement from his parents, Oliver goes on a journey of self-discovery, only to realise that his outline was there all along. In order to see it, he has to learn to recognise his strengths, live in the present and believe in himself.

preteen The Great Kitten Cake Off

By Anna Wilson

teen Amy and Matthew: A Love Story

By Cammie McGovern

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R125) Ellie Haines despairs of her family. Her younger brother is so desperate to be on TV that he’s tried everything. Mom appears to be going through some kind of midlife crisis and Dad’s bad “yolks” have reached alarming new extremes. The only bright spots in Ellie’s life are her naughty kitten, Kitkat, and her best mate, Mads. But when Mads and Ellie apply for The Junior Cake Off, their friendship starts to crumble. It doesn’t help that the gorgeous Ted Watson has caught Mads’ eye, too...

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R146) Amy is unflinchingly honest about her limitations. Born with cerebral palsy, she can’t walk or talk without help. But trapped inside this uncooperative body lies a brilliant mind and a luminous spirit. Matthew has his own set of challenges. This is the story of Amy and Matthew. It may not be a fairy-tale romance or set in an imagined world far from our own, but the love they share is real. And yes, there’s magic in it.

for us Little Dish: Proper Food for Kids – The Family Cookbook

By Hillary Graves (Published by Little Brown and Company, R404) This book is about delicious, healthy food that children love to eat and parents feel great about serving. You’ll find over 100 tried-and-tested recipes your family will want to make and eat again and again. Every recipe includes a special role for little helpers, so your children will be able to practise their budding kitchen skills. The book also includes a “little chef’s skills chart”. magazine durban

(Published by Struik Lifestyle, R196) This is a coming-of-age story of a nine-year old girl whose relationship with an old tree guides her through an important season in her life. As a little girl, Marigold one day ventured out of her home and happened upon a tree that was unlike any of the other trees. And so the tree becomes her special companion; when times were happy and when times were sad. The story was inspired by the true-life presence of a faraway tree that stands at Imhoff Farm in Kommetjie, near Cape Town, close to the southern tip of Africa.

parenting Change your Child’s Behaviour

By Anchen Witthuhn (Published by Struik Lifestyle, R112) The author examines the reasons why little ones or preteens may exhibit a variety of challenging behaviours either at school, in the home or in their daily interactions with others. Dealing head-on with sensitive issues such as discipline, anger management, exposure to inappropriate electronic media and the continuous need for firm, gentle and positive reinforcement, the book goes to the root of the problem.

March/April 2016

23

calendar

what’s on in march & april

Access an extended calendar online at

childmag.co.za or submit an event for May before 1 April to durban@ childmag.co.za

Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

5

Meet

your

favourite

characters at the launch of the newly revamped Gateway

store, where East Coast Radio is broadcasting from 10am–2pm.

Entry is free. For more info:

Festival of

Colours

toysrus.co.za

8

The Brown’s School annual golf day

Teams of four can compete in this golf day. Tee off is at 10:52am at the

Atholl Heights Primary School in Westville, hosts

Kloof Country Club, 26 Victory

this cultural event which includes fun activities

Rd, Kloof. It costs R2 200,

and entertainment for the whole family. The day

which includes supper and a lunch voucher. Contact Jane

starts at 10am and ends at 6pm with a celebration

on 031 700 6065, 082 099

of coloured powder. Entry is free and coloured

3385,

powder is on sale. Call 083 232 8468 for more info.

idc@brownsschool.

co.za or brownsschool.co.za

18

17

Decorex Durban A comprehensive showcase of the latest décor and design trends,

products and services, and with its new theme, “Take it Home, Make it Home”, the Durban exhibition promises visitors plenty of ideas

Frank and Stein production Umhlanga College high school pupils show off their talents at 6pm at the Robert and Robin Muir Auditorium, Umhlanga College, 21A Preston Dr, Prestondale. For more info and costs: umhlangacollege.co.za

90s Mania

The Barnyard Theatre at Gateway is celebrating the venue’s 100th major production with a trip back to the end of the twentieth century. This show is a celebration of this milestone and a cool decade filled with a variety of pop, rock, alternative, old school and a collection of one-hit wonders. It ends 17 April.

Shows are 8pm Tuesday–Saturday and 2pm Sunday at The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Costs range from R110 on Sunday, R155 We d n e s d a y – S a t u r d a y and R120 Tuesday.

For more info: 031 566 3045, gateway@ barnyardtheatres.co.za or barnyardtheatres. co.za

13 24

The Lindt Gold Bunny Gardens This Easter, children can embark on the ultimate Easter hunt. These enchanting

gardens host a series of Easter hunts, during which children are able to fill their baskets with delicious Lindt treats. Entry to the garden is free of charge and hunts take place twice per hour from 9am–7pm Thursday,

and inspiration for their interior and exterior

9am–9pm Friday and Saturday and 9am–6pm Sunday.

spaces. The exhibition ends 21 March and is

It ends 27 March at the Garden Court,

open 10am every day and closes at 8pm from

Gateway Theatre of Shopping, No 1

18–20 March, and closes at 6pm on 21 March.

Palm Boulevard, Umhlanga Ridge.

See them at the Durban Exhibition Centre,

Entry is free. Contact Roxy: 079

Durban CBD. Adults pay R75 and children under

529 8045, roxy.cullinan@

12 R20. For more info: decorex.co.za

ofyt.co.za or lindt.com

Hill Fest Catering for all ages Hill Fest offers train rides, slides and inflatables to keep children entertained while the sports enthusiasts

25

are kept busy with the beach sports programme, including touch rugby, volleyball and soccer. Master motorbike acrobat, Brian Capper, captivates spectators, plus there is a dance off, fitness demos, stalls, art and crafts and more. The event ends 27 March and starts at 9am at the Durban Shongweni Club, Hillcrest. Adults pay R80 and children R40. Tickets are available at ticketpros.co.za

26

Jam wardrobe consultation Customers at Jam in Hillcrest can enjoy free wardrobe consultations with Lynne McMaster from 9am–12pm, today and on 2 April. For more info: jamclothing.co.za

24

March/April 2016

april

9

Ride 4 Education

The Royal Drakensberg MTB Challenge at All Out Adventures includes a 50km race, a 30km challenge and the 10km family ride. There is an adventure centre, a supervised children’s area, food stalls and more. Costs vary from R100–R250. Enter online at royaldrakmtb.co.za

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHs and illustrations: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM. MiWay Midlands Ultra Triathlon PHOTO: Cycho Media / Darren Goddard. Hill Fest PHOTOS: Nick de Wit

march

Toys R Us launch

16 Exclusive

school open days in march

Books Children’s campaign

Join fun activities and read popular children’s books at Exclusive Books in Westville, and on 23 and 30 April at Exclusive Books in Gateway and Westville. The events take place from 10:30am–11:30am. For more info go to exclusivebooks.co.za

Husqvarna Classic Mid-Illovo MTB Challenge & Trail Run Mountain bikers and trail runners can sign up for various routes, including the Gwahumbe Family Experience 10km route, which is free entry for the under 12s. Costs for the races vary and registration starts at 6am. Visit husqvarnaclassic.co.za or enter online at roag.co.za

24

holiday activities in march

2

29

3

30

Trinityhouse open day The school provides education in a supportive environment with a Christian ethos. The preprimary open day is from 9am–11am, and the preparatory and high school open day is from 5pm–7pm. Trinityhouse is in Palm Lakes Estate, Tinley Manor. Contact: 032 947 2030 or trinityhouse.co.za Durban Girls’ College open morning Discover more about DGC at this open morning for Grades 00–7 from 10:30am– 12:30pm at 586 Musgrave Rd. Contact Dawn Cameron: 031 268 7254 or marketing@dgc.co.za St Mary’s DSG open day The open day is for Grades R–7 at 9am, and for Grades 8–11 it’s on 4 March at 9am. For more info: stmarysdsg.co.za Highbury open day Time: 8:30am. Venue: Highbury Prep School, Highbury Rd, Hillcrest. Cost: free. Contact: marketing@hps.co.za or hps.co.za Umhlanga College open day The college hosts an open day for preschool, junior primary, senior primary and high school, when all interested parents can visit. All tours are from 9am–10:30am at Umhlanga College, Prestondale and it’s free. The high school open evening is on 10 March at 5:30pm. Contact Tammy Lewis: marketing@ucollege.co.za or umhlangacollege.co.za Crawford Schools North Coast open day The school caters for children from 2 years old to Grade 12. The open day times are from 9am–4pm on 4 March and from 9am–12pm on 5 March at Crawford Schools North Coast in Tongaat. For more info: 0860 724 665 or crawfordschools.co.za Al-Falaah College open evening Visit the school to find out how they add value to Islamic education. The school is at 99 Lotus Rd, Springfield. Contact them for times and further details: 031 2087652 or marketing@alfalaah.org.za

4

9

next month in

plus

Cooking teens course Teens learn to cook a main meal and dessert, as well as trendy baking techniques in this fun, three-day cooking course. It costs R495, which includes ingredients, recipes and juice. The course ends 31 March and runs from 1pm–2:30pm at Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Contact: 031 764 6577 Cooking children’s course Children learn to cook a main meal, do some Easter baking and try out dessert over the three lessons ending 1 April from 9am–10:30am at Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. It is R495 for all lessons, which includes ingredients, recipes and juice. Contact Meryl: 031 764 6577

markets

The Bellevue Market

An artisan market at Bellevue Rd in Kloof, on the last Friday of every month from 4pm–8pm.

For more info: bellevuecampus@elp.co.za

I Heart Market The market pops up at Decorex Durban on 19 March, from 10am–4pm. For more details visit Facebook: I Heart Market

me-time

what moms really want

may is our “what moms want” issue on street 21 April

we look at… your maternity wardrobe sorted first-aid tips every parent should know boosting your child’s immune system how to achieve guilt-free motherhood To advertise call: (031) 209 2200 or email: dbnsales@childmag.co.za | Booking deadline: 4 April | Material deadline: 7 April magazine durban

March/April 2016

25

finishing touch

it takes a village

it’s party time

ANÉL LEWIS, while peeling back the social media façade to reveal the real world of parenting.

Erin, Anél and Conor

put my work on the roof of the car before racing off to fetch my son at a friend’s house – probably one of the 75 things I was juggling that day.

Another mom I know was also having a frenetic week. School applications, starting a new business, extramurals – and then her boys decided to turn the recently renovated downstairs into a tidal pool. Parenting curve balls like these

make it difficult to keep up the illusion that everything is under control and often the only way to get through those days is by looking out for each other. They say it takes a village to raise a child.

Well, I reckon it takes a village, an online community and as many book clubs and friends you can muster.

So, next time you race through the school gates to drop off your children,

smile at the mother passing you. She’s probably also been up since 4am, sticking dried macaroni to a toilet roll to make a sheep for a school project. If she needs to share her frustrations, just listen. Make friends with other parents who admit that things can sometimes get a little crazy.

There will still be days when you will feel as if you are the only person trying to explain to a stubborn three year old that the juice they put into the freezer when you weren’t looking has frozen solid and no amount of ramming the little plastic straw into the tiny circle that’s closed more tightly than an Eskimo’s fishing hole off-season will get the juice out. But you are not alone. Pinterest is an illusion and Facebook creates a false sense of reality.

As long as it’s just files being left on the car roof and not your child, you are every bit as amazing as those parents you read about on social media – if not better.

While Anél Lewis has given up social media on weekends so that she can focus on realtime parenting, she still peeks at Pinterest to get the odd crafting tip – just in case there’s an origami project due first thing on Monday morning.

family marketplace

For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

26

March/April 2016

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: Susie Leblond Photography

i

really need to stop reading Facebook before bed. If social media is to be believed, parents around the globe are feeding children organic vegetables, making origami art and geocaching with their offspring on a daily basis. It’s easy to feel like a complete parental failure within a few scrolls through your timeline – just as you’ve come to terms with feeding your children two-minute noodles and tomato sauce for the second time in a week.

But the reality is that we’re all just doing the best we can – and we need to cut each other some slack. I realised this recently when a mom came up to me at my son’s school and spilled the beans about her frustrations as a working mom. She didn’t need advice or platitudes; she just needed an empathetic ear. We all do. Sometimes we need to drop the bravado and lift the lid on what’s really happening behind the scenes of those Facebook updates.

A sign that I may be taking on too much came when someone called my workplace to let me know that one of my documents had landed under a tree in a suburb a good few kilometres from the office. Seems I had

We need to cut each other some slack, says

book extract

freshly uncomplicated Taste the Little Karoo by BEATE JOUBERT is a celebration of the good life, where the focus of meals is fresh, seasonal and simple. Here are some delicious recipes from the cookbook to try at home.

about the book In Taste the Little Karoo (Struik Lifestyle), Beate Joubert captures the essence of this region with every tasty bite and anecdote, often providing modern or quirky twists to classic or traditional dishes. The recipes cover a breathtaking array of tapas, comfort foods, salads, celebratory platters, braai dishes, sweet treats and preserves. This book will inspire home cooks to be brave enough to experiment with new ideas. Taste the Little Karoo is available at all good bookstores for R285.

mealie fritters with bacon and Camembert

goat’s milk cheese mini custards

makes 12

serves 4

ingredients ✻✻ 1 cup cake flour ✻✻ 1 tbsp fine coconut or almond flour (available from health shops) ✻✻ 1 cup mealie meal ✻✻ 1 cup uncooked polenta ✻✻ 1 tsp salt ✻✻ 4 tsp baking powder ✻✻ 1 courgette, grated ✻✻ 1 carrot, finely grated ✻✻ ½ sweet green pepper, finely chopped ✻✻ 1 tbsp chopped fresh basil ✻✻ 1 tbsp chopped fresh parsley ✻✻ 1 tbsp dried mixed herbs

ingredients ✻✻ 1 cup fresh goat’s milk cheese, at room temperature ✻✻ ¼ cup castor sugar ✻✻ ½ cup cream ✻✻ 3 large egg yolks ✻✻ ½ tsp vanilla essence or a few vanilla seeds ✻✻ ground cinnamon for sprinkling ✻✻ fresh mint, chopped ✻✻ red wine syrup ✻✻ ½ cup red wine

✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻

✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻

1 tbsp chopped fresh coriander leaves 1 tsp ground cumin 1 cup beer or soda water 410g can whole kernel corn, or use the same amount cut from cooked mealies canola oil for frying 150g Camembert, cut into 12 pieces freshly ground black pepper 250g streaky bacon, fried until crispy golden syrup for dipping

method Combine the flours, mealie meal, polenta, salt, baking powder, courgette, carrot, green pepper, herbs and cumin.

Gradually add the beer or soda water, until mixed through. If the batter is too dry, add a little water, then stir in the corn.

Heat some oil in a frying pan, then drop spoonfuls of the batter into the pan, leaving space for spreading. When bubbles start to form at the top, flip the fritters over with a spatula and fry for another 1–2 minutes until golden brown.

Remove from the pan and drain on paper towel. Keep warm.

Place a piece of Camembert on each fritter and allow to melt until creamy.

Grind over lots of black pepper. Serve with rashers of bacon and golden syrup in a dipping bowl.

3 4 5

PHOTOGRAPHS: Sean Calitz

6

✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻

3 tbsp green fig preserve syrup 3 tbsp brown sugar 1 piece stick cinnamon or a pinch of ground cinnamon a pinch of freshly ground black pepper a few vanilla seeds sliced fresh strawberries to taste

* If you like, you could make the custard with half milk, half cream - it works well.

method Preheat the oven to 180°C. Place four ramekins in a deep ovenproof dish.

Mix together the goat’s milk cheese, castor sugar, cream, egg yolks and vanilla essence or seeds for about 30 seconds until smooth. Divide the mixture among the ramekins, filling them to just over halfway. Pour hot water into the ovenproof dish (bain-marie) to reach about halfway up the sides of the ramekins. Cover the entire dish with aluminium foil and bake for 15–20 minutes.

Remove the ramekins from the bain-marie and leave to cool to room temperature.

They can be stored in the fridge for 2 days (but cover with clingfilm and bring to room temperature before serving).

To prepare the syrup, bring the red wine, fig syrup, brown sugar, cinnamon, black pepper and vanilla seeds to the boil and cook until the liquid has reduced by half.

3

4

Remove from the heat, pour into a bowl and leave to cool. Add the strawberries and leave to stand for 1–2 minutes. Spoon the syrup and strawberries over the cooled custards in the ramekins, then sprinkle over a little cinnamon and chopped fresh mint.