D U R B A N ’ S
5
b e s t
g u i d e
share one family’s
magical
months in America
f o r
p a r e n t s
the
good life
8
oh,
conversations to have while planning your
n a r o f
d n a l is ay
pregnancy
holid
p. 24
misdiagnosis
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March 2015
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Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G
Publisher
Living “the good life” is our new theme for March.
Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za
Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za
It’s a theme born out of the many letters we receive from parents and grandparents wanting more out of life – for themselves, their children and their grandchildren. “The good life” means different things to different people. It may mean doing all you can to ensure that your child is in good health, happy, confident and well educated. It may also mean taking that well-deserved break and spending time travelling, playing with your children or just relaxing with no pressures of city life weighing you down. Whatever it means for you, it’s a great ideal to strive towards as it epitomizes a sense of serenity, consciousness,
Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway
Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za Louise Topping • studio@childmag.co.za
Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za
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community involvement and a real commitment to your family, with balance being the ultimate goal. On page 12 you’ll read how one family did just that by swapping their suburban life for five months of exploring North America with two preschoolers in tow. Yes, it can be done! As you page through this issue, I know you’ll be inspired to plot your own path towards living
“the good life”.
Lisa Mc Namara Publisher
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March 2015
3
contents march 2015
12 regulars
3 a note from lisa 5 over to you readers respond
features 12 finding the magic Mary Wuth and her young family had an unforgettable adventure travelling through the US for five months
16 thinking out the box developing lateral thinking skills boosts selfconfidence in children. By Jocelyn Warrington
18 picnic pleasers dine alfresco with these delicious recipes from Janet Kohler’s book Perfect Parties
8 pregnancy news – pregnancy 101 contemplating having children? Anél Lewis looks at eight important questions to ask before starting the journey
10 best for baby – my baby needs a doctor! Ruwaydah Harris asks experts when you should rush off to the doctor
11 dealing with difference – misdiagnosed detecting a developmental disorder is not an exact science. Lucille Kemp investigates
23 a good read for the whole family
20 playing to win it’s not about the quantity of extramurals your child takes part in, but getting the balance right. By Tamlyn Vincent
22 world’s best dad Marc de Chazal shares advice on how to be the best father you can possibly be
31 pack light Tamlyn Vincent gives practical tips on how to pack for a trip
health
24 resource – sea, sand and sunshine Marina Zietsman brings you some of the best family-friendly island getaways from around the world
26 what’s on in march 30 finishing touch her son is a formidable planker, says Anél Lewis, but he hasn’t quite perfected the art
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7 a family abroad Marina Zietsman finds out what necessary precautions you should take when travelling with little ones
29 let’s party 30 family marketplace
this month’s cover images are supplied by:
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March 2015
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Twinkle Star Photography twinklestar.co.za
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letters
over to you dear mummies of the posh suburbs... I consider myself a decent person. Granted, I don’t have millions in my bank account, I don’t drive a big car or have a gym membership, and we don’t have a swimming pool; and yes, I’m not married to my life partner (and no, he’s not in finance), but we have a warm home and a lovely son, who is gentle and kind and witty, and he loves to play with his friends. He is seven years old, and has just completed his first year at “big school”. By far the biggest challenge – and there were quite a few – was the politics around playdates. For my son, it is the most obvious and logical thing in the world to play (they get so little time for that during term) with a child he enjoys spending time with at school. And it’s a real reciprocal friendship, not just some boy that he might admire who doesn’t return the interest. Some parents have been amazing (thank you!), willing to facilitate after-school get-togethers for the little ones. But, on a number of occasions, my request for a playdate has been met with either no response, or vague, half-hearted “maybes”, which came to nothing in the end. After the third try, surely
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Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.
the only graceful thing to do is to withdraw? Perhaps I am over-sensitive, but could it be that my child, who you don’t know, is shunned from your son’s afterschool time because of your judgment of me? Am I too “middle-class”? How do I explain to my anxious child that despite the fact that I have asked his little friend’s mom (again) if they could play after school one day, she has indicated, subtly, but quite clearly, that she is not interested in letting that happen? I understand that people are busy, and I get that generally we all have our own circles, but be assured: I am not intending to insinuate myself into your world, I simply want to help facilitate our children’s developing friendship. But if you do not have the time, or if you have social standards that I may not measure up to, can’t you just say so? At least then it would be clear… All I’m asking is: please be kinder. It is not easy being a little child in a big world trying to navigate your way through the school system. Our children are so fragile, and their little hearts and minds are wide open, and boy, can they hurt. And those hurts, particularly with regard to perceived rejection, can linger for life.
Before you ignore or discard a playdate invitation with your child, suspend your own judgments and/ or interests for a moment, and think about these little people – their needs and desires. Trust your child to make friends with others who stimulate them positively, and give them a chance to make their own decisions; to create their own worlds. I promise I won’t stay for tea! A misfit mom
wit goes a long way I have a seven-year-old daughter who had bacterial meningitis when she was six months old. As a result her legs and some of her fingers were amputated, leaving her to walk with prosthesis and sometimes use a wheelchair. She is in a mainstream school and is doing very well. We face challenges all the time, such as people asking questions, staring at her, or simply running away. I try to equip her to handle awkward questions and she handled one beautifully on her own. A boy couldn’t stop staring at her and asked: “What happened to you?” She answered: “You know, it’s a long story.” And off she went… Mrs T
March 2015
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letters
brave little angel My friend’s baby boy, Mason, was born with Harlequin Ichthyosis (H.I.). As far as we know, Mason is the only H.I. sufferer in South Africa. This is a severe genetic disorder that mainly affects the skin. Infants with this condition are born with very hard, thick skin covering most of their bodies. The skin forms large, diamondshaped plates that are separated by deep cracks. He lost his right hand shortly after birth due to the tight skin blocking off his blood flow and his left hand is not 100% normal either. His creams cost his parents about R11 000 a month. Mason’s mom had to leave her job to care for him at home, while his father works during the day and delivers pizzas at night. He is an amazing child, full of smiles. All they want is for people to look at him and know what condition he has as opposed to staring and asking if they burnt their child. So, we have made little cards for the parents to give to people when they are out and about. Carri Ann Buchner
party etiquette Parents should be reminded how to respond to a party invitation. I realise everyone is busy, but that’s no excuse not to RSVP by the given date. Generally one pays per child, whether you use a party planner or do it yourself. It’s irritating when the party is organised in advance and a mother RSVPs the night before, saying
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March 2015
they’re attending. By this time, I have confirmed with the party planner how many children will attend based on the RSVPs I received, and settled for a package deal within my budget. In future, I will have to respond that the numbers were finalized on the given RSVP date and I cannot accommodate them. Also keep in mind, unless specified, I’ve invited your child to the party, not the whole family. Don’t bring all the siblings or other friends and don’t send your au pair along with her children as well. If you have to bring extra children, it’s polite to ask your hostess first. And don’t arrive an hour early for the party. A time was specified for a reason, unless of course you have made prior arrangements with the hostess. Anonymous
lazy parenting In response to the letter regarding “guidance for parents of intellectually gifted children” (February 2015): I am irritated at the statement that it is the teacher’s job to get children to focus in class. Comments like this must seriously send most teachers over the edge. I agree the teacher must keep the child engaged in the lesson, but it is not the responsibility of the teacher to ensure that your child is able to focus during their lesson. That, parents, is your job. Teachers already have a job – to teach. They are not there to pull their hair out trying to get your little one to focus because you fed
him a giant bowl of blue, sugary cereal just before kissing him goodbye and heading off to the gym, hoping magical fairies will wave their wands and your child will instantly grasp 1 + 1 or apply themselves in a 15-minute swimming lesson. It is the parent’s job to put their children to bed early enough so that they can apply themselves. It is the parent’s job not to leave a bat-eyed child in front of his iPad for hours on end, melting his brain into a mix of fast cars and electronic malfunction. It is the parent’s job to ensure their child’s diet is one that will allow her to sit quietly for half an hour and take in what is being said. Why should teachers have to ask what they could do to make their class more enjoyable so they can hold the attention of the children? Here’s a thought teachers: you should all dress up as Spider-Man and teach your class while hanging upside down from the classroom ceiling. Maybe you should duct tape an iPad to your forehead and flash images of hamburgers. No, sorry, it is not the job of teachers to factory through a generation of distracted children due to lazy parenting. Anonymous subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions. To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za
We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.
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health
a family abroad The smaller bodies and developing immune systems of children present unique travel health needs. MARINA ZIETSMAN finds out about necessary precautions.
p
it’s in the water
roximity to good medical care is important while travelling with children, says Dr Pete Vincent, a medical advisor to the Netcare Travel Clinics. “It is preferable to wait until a child is two years old before subjecting them to isolated places in the developing world,” he advises. But if you do, keep the following in mind:
vaccine routine All routine vaccinations should be up to date. “Taking unvaccinated children across our borders exposes them to serious risk,” says Vincent. “The protection of herd immunity is lost when taking them out of their present environment.”
PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com
prevention is better than cure
find more travel-related info • Netcare Travel Clinics – travelclinic.co.za • Centres of Disease Control – cdc.gov/travel • World Health Organisation – who.int/ith/ • Tips on packing a travel health kit: nc.cdc.gov/travel/page/pack-smart
Netcare Travel Clinics advise that international travellers be vaccinated against vaccine-preventable, destination-specific diseases for which they may be at risk. A doctor should also give an individual assessment. Find out from your travel clinic or doctor what vaccines are required for your destination, but the following should be considered: hepatitis A, meningococcal, rabies, typhoid fever and yellow fever.
malaria “No child under the age of five years old should be subjected to the threat of malaria,” says Vincent. “Malaria spreads rapidly in this age group and is usually life-threatening due to the difficulty of diagnosis.” Vincent says even in low risk areas, bite-prevention is vital by using protective measures from dusk to dawn. “Prompt diagnosis and treatment is crucial,” he says, “and take antimalarial medication precisely as prescribed.”
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Be more vigilant if you travel in areas where hygiene and sanitation are inadequate, and avoid salads, uncooked vegetables, unpasteurized fruit juice or milk, and milk products. Eat only food that is fully cooked and served hot and fruit that has been washed in clean water and then peeled yourself. Wash your hands regularly with soap and water before eating, after using the bathroom or changing diapers, and after direct contact with small children, animals, sick people or faeces. If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
travelling made easy
• Ask your doctor about a remedy to lightly sedate a hysterical infant or toddler on the plane. • Breast-feeding, or the bottle, can help equalize the pressure in the ears and minimizes ear pain in infants during a flight. Older children may find sucking on a lollipop helpful. • Beware of extreme temperatures, as children cannot regulate their body temperature as well as adults can. Dress appropriately and offer fluids regularly. Use maximum sunscreen. • While travelling you have less control over a child’s environment. Drowning, poisoning, burns and falls may occur. Watch out for unfenced waterways and stray animals. • To counter jetlag, try to keep your children on the home routine shortly after landing. Also allow your children to take marathon naps on arrival. • Medical professionals and the travel industry can give you advice, but it’s your responsibility to get information, to understand the risks involved and to take the necessary precautions to protect your child while travelling.
March 2015
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pregnancy news
and baby makes...
pregnancy 101 Being a parent is life-changing. ANÉL LEWIS looks at eight important conversations you should have before you contemplate children.
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March 2015
Do you both want children? If so, how many? My husband told me quite flippantly when we were dating that he was keen for a brood of four. But after two weeks with a newborn, he quickly adjusted that to a more manageable two. While Mother Nature tends to have her own plan, make sure you have a clear idea of the preferred size of your family at the get-go. If you want more than one, decide whether you want to have a big gap between the two, or get all the nappies out of the way as quickly as possible. But also talk about what happens if life throws you a curveball, and baby number two turns out to be babies two, three and four. You should also think about possible complications. If routine pregnancy tests pick up an abnormality, what options would you consider? Could you cope with a child with special needs and what support network do you have in place?
under construction Be frank about your respective needs. Does your husband need lots of attention? Are you a control freak who finds it difficult to be at someone’s beck and call? It’s important to discuss upfront what your expectations are when it comes to being a family. Children are demanding, and it’s possible that you won’t be able to give your spouse the same attention you did when it was just the two of you. Examine the way you communicate with each other and be clear about your needs. Also, avoid having a baby to heal a relationship. Sleepless nights and the stress of a new person in your lives can add considerable strain to even the most rock-solid partnership. Take a hard look at your lifestyle. Are you ready to forego lazy Saturday brunches and impromptu getaways to change nappies and watch Thomas the Train?
count the costs Babies are expensive. Think nappies, wipes, paediatric visits... Do a detailed financial plan and budget. This will also help you decide how many children you can realistically afford. Factor in childcare expenses if you need extra help as well as
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PHOTOGRAPH / ILLUSTRATIONS: shutterstock.com
n
ew relationships are about candlelit dinners and intimate chats – usually about love, life and happily ever after. But there are some discussions you need to have before adding children to the mix.
the cost of school and extramural activities later on. Is your home large enough for an expanding family or will you have to move?
career plans Will you both go back to the office, or will one of you stay home with the children? Consider changing to half-day or freelance if your profession allows. In terms of labour legislation, women are able to take four months of maternity leave, starting one month before their due date. You can claim UIF if your maternity leave is unpaid. Be sure to factor in the adjustment to your monthly income as part of your budgetary planning.
childcare Childcare options will depend on your work decision. Will you have a nanny, day mother or rely on a family member to help out? At what age will you send your child to play school? You also need to start looking at primary school options. Good schools are in high demand, and it’s important to get your child onto waiting lists as soon as you can. Talk about what kind of school environment you would both prefer. Also agree now on whether you will vaccinate your children or not, bearing in mind that schools ask for the clinic card when you apply.
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Do a detailed financial plan and budget. This will also help you decide how many children you can realistically afford.
sleep woes Some parents prefer to sleep with their newborn alongside the bed, especially for night feeds. Others want to get their children accustomed to sleeping alone as soon as possible. Often the problems only really start a year or two later when your toddler decides that sleeping in Mom’s bed is more fun. Not only is this disruptive, but it can be disastrous for your relationship. Discuss sleep training options for various ages. Unfortunately, children like to mix things up – so a good sleeper at eight months may turn into a sleepwalker at two years old.
bad cop, good cop
lend a hand
Unfortunately, someone has to be the disciplinarian. Decide together what constitutes inappropriate behaviour and how best to deal with it. While you may happily allow the children to paint themselves green just for 15 minutes of quiet, your husband may be furious about the mess. If he punishes them for something you appeared to condone, it could send mixed signals. Form a united front and act consistently. Broader parenting roles need to be established early on. Will you take turns with bath time and nappy changes, for example?
There will be times when you’re both going to need some TLC. Breast-feeding can be stressful, so discuss with your partner about how you will both approach this, and if he should intervene if you find it difficult. It was such a relief for me when my husband gently encouraged me to change to formula after three agonising weeks of trying to breastfeed our daughter. Talk about the reality of postnatal depression. Up to 40% of women will develop some form of depression or anxiety after giving birth, says the Postnatal Depression Society of SA. Up to 10% of new fathers can also become depressed.
birthing options Find out upfront what your medical aid will cover or how much the birth will cost. But nothing is set in stone and an unexpected complication could mean a sudden change in birthing plan. Go on an antenatal course together so that you can make informed choices about birthing options. • Traditional hospital birth – Options include vaginal birth or Caesarean section. Some hospitals have water-birth facilities. Discuss pain relief options with your gynaecologist or obstetrician. • Birthing centre – Perfect for couples with low-risk pregnancies wanting to give birth naturally in a more homelike environment with individualised care. • Home birth – Suitable for low-risk natural or water births. You could also involve a midwife or doula. Midwives are trained medical professionals who can perform medical procedures; a doula will offer emotional and practical support.
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best for baby
“Better safe than sorry” is a motto most new moms instinctively live by. But, running to your doctor whenever your baby has the sniffles may seem like you’re crying wolf too often. Two paediatricians advise when to consult and when to play it by ear. By RUWAYDAH HARRIS
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He adds that during the first few days of life, a baby’s poop may be green and may change slightly to yellow. Don’t worry if you’re breast-feeding exclusively, advises Thwala. You should see a doctor if your baby is feeding poorly, has a high fever of more than 38°C in the first six months and 38,5°C thereafter, is unusually tired or irritable, is breathing fast (more than one breath per second), wheezes when breathing out or has a whoop when breathing in and is not getting better after five days, Gray advises. According to Gray, always seek medical advice if the child is very irritable, has respiratory distress or an unexplained rash. Generally, if they have a low-grade fever, have periods of playfulness (even if it is after a dose of paracetamol), are eating and drinking relatively well despite the illness, and are not too lethargic or irritable, then you can sit it out for a few days, says Gray.
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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
my baby needs a doctor!
y
our child will not get through the first few years of life without getting sick. Dr Claudia Gray, a paediatrician and allergologist at Vincent Pallotti Hospital in Cape Town, says your baby is likely to suffer five to 10 minor infections – such as the common cold – per year in the first two to three years of his or her life. “Young children are often sick because of their immature immune systems. In addition, every cold may last one to three weeks, so it can feel as if your baby is always sick,” says Gray. However, every sniffle may not need a doctor’s opinion, she adds. So, as a new mom, how do you determine when to consult your paediatrician and when to sit it out? “As a general rule you shouldn’t take any risks with babies up to three months old, advises Dr Mgcini Thwala, a paediatrician in private practice in Joburg. When your baby is still so young, it’s best to be safe than sorry, he says. You will learn, with the help of your doctor, to determine when your baby needs medical care. Doctors Gray and Thwala offer the following advice: Don’t be embarrassed if you’ve consulted your doctor and it turns out there’s nothing wrong with your baby, says Thwala. It’s better to get the assurance from a health practitioner than to self medictate. Don’t do a Google search to determine what’s wrong with your baby. A thorough medical examination is needed to make a proper diagnosis, adds Thwala. Apply the rule of seven when it comes to analysing your baby’s bowel movements. “Breast-fed babies can have up to seven dirty nappies a day, but sometimes they can have one dirty nappy in seven days. Formula babies, on the other hand, have to have at least one dirty nappy a day,” Thwala says.
dealing with difference
misdiagnosed Detecting a developmental disorder is not as exact a science as identifying a broken arm or bronchitis. LUCILLE KEMP details ways to protect
a
your child from a misdiagnosis.
t three years old, Peter was dealing with multiple developmental and behavioural challenges and had been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) with associated ADHD when he was referred to an intervention centre in Cape Town. He struggled to sit down and concentrate for more than a second, tended to be impulsive and lashed out at others as he could not communicate his frustrations. Following observations, the therapeutic team at the centre recommended he stay in the younger group at his preschool and attend occupational therapy (OT) to address his emotional, sensory, social and verbal difficulties. A few months later, such was his improvement that his parents requested a second opinion from a neurodevelopmental paediatrician who questioned the original diagnosis. Talk of special schooling was now off the table thanks to the progress Peter was making with occupational and speech therapy. He was closing the gap and soon moved up to the next class, with his attention span and group participation capabilities improving. By the time he was four-and-a-half years old, Peter no longer had an ASD diagnosis hanging over his head.
Symptoms may change over time, so always mention anything new that worries you, as a different diagnosis may be more appropriate. In another incident, Cape Town mom Cindy was taken aback at a doctor’s flippancy when, at their first and only visit, she had briefly shared concerns about her six-year-old son Josh’s concentration span at school. Without evaluation the doctor’s response was that it was probably ADHD and that Josh should be given Ritalin. Meanwhile, Cape Town parents Nancy and Tim Cockcroft’s toddler, Georgina, was presenting with various developmental delays, specifically speech. When she was two and a half years old they consulted with a speech therapist who ran tests and diagnosed Georgina with apraxia. However, during the speech therapy in the months that followed, Nancy saw no improvement and, feeling that her daughter wasn’t getting much from the process, she sought a second opinion. It emerged that Georgina was actually on the autism spectrum.
One such child is seven-year-old Justin Senigar, who was diagnosed with severe autism. When Shankardass and her clinical team used the EEG technology to look at Justin’s brain, it turned out that he was almost certainly not autistic, though symptoms mimicked autism. Two months after Justin went on anti-seizure medication for his brain seizures, his vocabulary went from three to 300 words and his communication and social interaction improved so dramatically that he was enrolled in a regular school and started excelling at karate.
markers of a good assessment In order to not put your child through the stress of an incorrect, under- or over diagnosis, here’s what to know: “A good assessment will be comprehensive, starting with familiarising both parent and child with the process and explaining their rights,” says Young. “Time should be spent with the family together as well as with the child and parents separately. Contact may need to be made with several other family members.” The clinician should give feedback in understandable terms to both the child and parents. You should feel able to disagree or ask questions at any point and should not feel rushed into decisions. Discussions with your clinician will include clarifying the current concerns, screening for other difficulties that commonly co-occur, along with getting a family history and full developmental history. “You should be given the opportunity to disclose sensitive information in private, away from your child, if you so wish,” points out Wallace. Symptoms may change over time, so always mention anything new that worries you, as a different diagnosis may be more appropriate. For example, bipolar disorder often presents initially with a depressed episode. It is only once a manic episode occurs that the true diagnosis may be revealed. Observations of child and caregiver interactions should take place and, based on the interventions the child needs, a decision needs to be made as to what further assessments are required, whether it is occupational therapy for sensorimotor or functional developmental delays or referral to a medical specialist for a diagnosis or medication. An educational assessment may have to take place and further information may be needed, with your permission, from other healthcare workers and teachers. Rating scales may be used and underlying medical conditions should be considered.
when to get a second opinion If your doctor is rigid Young says your clinician should be able to address any worries you have about your child’s assessment or management plan by explaining their thinking. They should be willing to adjust their assessment should more information come to light. If you haven’t been given options Young says it is unusual for there to be only one form of treatment available, either with medication or therapeutic intervention. Your clinician likely has valid reasons for suggesting a particular course of action, but if you are not happy with it, other options should be made available. Even if it is the only therapeutic modality they are able to offer themselves, if this is not the best fit for your child, they should be able to advise you of other clinicians. If you feel bullied into an unsuitable management plan Seek a second opinion from a clinician with more extensive qualifications or experience if your child does not seem to be improving after some time. They may well confirm the previous clinician’s assessment and plan, but in the long run this may help alleviate your anxiety and indecision.
PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
margin for error There is a variety of reasons why there seems to be such a huge margin for error when diagnosing a developmental disorder, according to child and adolescent psychiatrist Merryn Young and occupational therapist Kerry Wallace. There is no objective measure like a blood pressure reading to tell you that you have a condition or not and disorders that cause less behavioural disturbance are easily missed. Also, the same symptom can occur within different disorders. Epigenetic factors, such as prematurity and maternal postnatal depression, which makes a child more susceptible to various developmental disorders, needs to be more widely understood, says Wallace. According to neuroscientists such as Dr Aditi Shankardass, we rely too heavily on observable behaviour and don’t look directly at the brain when treating disorders that essentially originate in the brain. “It is estimated that one in six children suffers from a developmental disorder, these being autism spectrum, sensory processing, learning and attention disorders,” says Shankardass who, based at Harvard, has done pioneering work using EEG brain scanning. She has discovered that almost 50% of children diagnosed with autism were found to be incorrectly diagnosed. magazine durban
March 2015
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getaway
Lincoln loving the thrill of skiing at Lake Tahoe, California
finding the Cruising the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco
magic
Exploring Mayan ruins at Chichen Itza, Mexico
Lincoln, Mary and Lola drinking in the views on top of the Rockefeller Centre, New York
Enjoying the thrills of life in the snow
Fun in the sun and warm waters in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico Keeping the children close at hand along the edges of the Grand Canyon
Hitching a ride with Dad in Zion National Park, Utah
Travelling across North America with two preschool age children for five months turned out to be an adventure of a lifetime for a South African family. MARY WUTH shares the highlights of their trip. time to travel
on hold
Thankfully, we have our own company creating mobile apps, which requires little but the internet and a computer; our location is irrelevant. Without this our trip would probably never have made it off the drawing board. We were able to elbow out some activities and carve a five-month window from October to March. What started as a round-the-world trip was quickly modified into something more plausible in the time we had. The destination became, by default, North America, because it was the only continent my husband and I could agree on. He had his heart set on skiing; I wanted to lie on a beach. America has it all.
As our heads began to emerge from under the wasteland of early child rearing, thoughts of our round-the-world trip gradually began to resurface. Lola, our daughter, had just turned four and Lincoln, our lively, accident-prone son, was about to turn three. So, armed with dogged determination and wit, we dived into planning a trip before we could change our minds, or fall pregnant, whichever happened first.
With two months to finalise our planning, we set about deciding on the places we wanted to see the most, and the best route to get it all in. We found our equilibrium in the decision to hire an SUV and begin in New York, working our way in a clockwise direction down to Savannah, through New Orleans, Texas, Utah, Nevada, then California, up the West Coast, and across the top of the country back to New York. Oh, and a little sojourn off to Mexico in the middle somewhere. We agreed we wanted our trip to be flexible, so booked only the accommodation we were certain about before embarking on our trip. This gave us the freedom to stay longer if we were enjoying a place, but also to move on if we felt restrained.
Viewing our future through the filter of dirty nappies, burp cloths and seven o’clock bedtimes injected us with a sudden desire for adventure.
Viewing our future through the filter of dirty nappies, burp cloths and seven o’clock bedtimes injected us with a sudden desire for adventure. Given the predicament of my ever-increasing waistline and near junky dependence on salty cracks and olives, we decided we would schedule our travels for the year our daughter turned one. This was a solid idea, until we received news of a second little creation. We’re brave, but no amount of wine-induced courage could get us to jet off with a 14 month old and a newborn in tow, so on to Plan B. We bought a house and settled into suburban life.
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little wayfarers
Our one non-negotiable as parents was remaining positive and upbeat for our children. This wasn’t always easy. Five months on the road can leave you feeling lonely and in need of friends, but we chose this adventure and it was our job to keep things exciting for them. This was easy most of the time because it was exciting, but when you are running out of petrol in the middle of Mexican cartel land or sliding across the road in your car because you thought you knew better than the guy at the garage when he suggested you use tire chains, a smile and a joke are sometimes hard to muster. But, not only did our children surprise us with their level of ease at changing “homes” every few days, they thrived, becoming more outgoing and confident as our trip progressed. When your daughter spends more magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPHS / ILLUSTRATION: MARY WUTH / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
a
fter spending five months travelling the US in temperatures as low as -36°C with two preschool children, 10 bags, two bikes, two scooters, an office-in-a-laptop-bag, and mounds of ski gear, tackling everyday life back home in Cape Town can seem a bit dull. The excitement of having a new “home” every few days, from a Caribbean beach to a winter wonderland, for months on end, can make even the most picturesque city feel like it’s lacking. But I’m getting ahead of myself… My husband and I moved from Joburg to Cape Town shortly after we got married in our mid-twenties and found any desire to travel the globe fall into a dismal second place. We were in love with Cape Town. Then, rather abruptly, we found out we were about to become three, which changed everything.
magazine durban
March 2015
13
getaway
Glacier National Park, Montana
Avoiding copious fast-food outlets on our 24 000km drive with a road-side picnic
time hiding behind your legs than playing with friends at a party, this change alone made the trip worthwhile. On our 24 000km drive around North America, the children remained buckled into their seats, either watching videos on the iPad, colouring in their books or playing make-believe games together. They are best friends. I might make them sound like angels, but it wasn’t always plain sailing; my husband will tell you that mothers utilise selective memory as a survival tool. We shared rooms and we shared our moods. We were in each other’s space almost the entire time, but there isn’t a moment that I wouldn’t repeat, even the difficult ones.
At Yosemite National Park during a fullday hike up to Nevada Falls, California
so herding my children down a slope I am simply proficient on was going to be challenging. What I didn’t anticipate is that when you have little people to worry about, you forget your own fears. It was only in repeating the slopes that I did with my children, by myself, that I realised how scary I found them.
making memories Skiing was not the only part of the trip that had me realising my own strengths. There were times when I wanted to sit down and cry, times when Shaun, my husband, was chained to our hotel room or apartment because of a work deadline. I found myself
Travelling offers you everything: a view inside your own soul and a view inside those travelling with you. Travelling with your children adds complexities, no doubt, but the bonuses far outweigh them. When on the road, not only do you have to carry all their gear and yours, but you carry their dreams along with yours, too. The journey doubles in weight, but it also doubles in enjoyment. Nothing highlighted this more for me than skiing. After teaching the children the basics on the nursery slopes, we decided they were ready to head down some of the longer, more exciting runs. Now just to give you a bit of background here, I am ruffled doing anything more than a “green” run. I am a “distrustfully comfortable” skier,
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in places I didn’t know, with two children and no car. South Africa might be a thirdworld country, but nowhere does it come close to the chaos you feel in the middle of a city like Cancún, Mexico, when you don’t speak the language, where traffic seems to have a flow of its own regardless of any traffic signs, and travelling around with a daughter who has the biggest mass of tight blond ringlets draws strangers to you in a way walking around with a celebrity would. Putting on your big-girl panties is suddenly not enough; there were times I simply had to man up. I had to be stronger than even I thought I could be. magazine durban
Biking among the tall trees in Redwoods National Park, California
Luckily, there is always a flip-side. Ours was realising how much more joy everything brings when you are travelling with your children: the wonder in their eyes when they look up from their small little place on the pavement at the skyscrapers above them, or walk into the Disney Store in Times Square; the pure elation that bubbles from them when they roll in snow for the first time, or find their juice boxes frozen in the car overnight; their brave faces as they wobble around on their first skis, or the unrestrained laughter as they try and climb a palm tree on the beach. Sure, being able to party all night in New Orleans would have been an experience, but taking the children to eat
Lola sharing a wintry beach with the seagulls in Cambria, California
five months that sometimes I think we are still recovering. The good times were so good, and the tough times so tough, every emotion was piercing. Our journey, as incredible as it was, was also overwhelming at times. We learnt a lot about supporting each other, even in the midst of our own fears and anxieties. Travelling offers you everything: a view inside your own soul and a view inside those travelling with you. Narrowmindedness gives way to perspective. This offers understanding, while at the same time shrouding you in confusion and doubt. It broadens every facet of thought you have ever had, offering
Our one non-negotiable as parents was remaining positive and upbeat for our children. This wasn’t always easy. beignets and watch a jazz band in a quaint little Creole restaurant was pure enjoyment; just different. There are not many children who can say they have snow hiked through Zion National Park or climbed the peaks in Yosemite by themselves. Cruising through a frozen Yellowstone National Park on a snow mobile had us all laughing out loud, even when the children fell asleep and we spent the last hour just trying to keep them from falling off.
lessons along the way Every day was packed with adventure and life. We crammed so much into magazine durban
so much more to your life and your soul than you thought possible while wrapped in cotton wool at home, sipping expensive local wines complaining about your lack of promotion and the increase in the fuel price. Life is so much bigger, so much more. We are repeatedly asked what our favourite part of the trip was and our answer is overwhelmingly simple – an uninterrupted five months of just being together, muddling through life as a family, uncovering our own strengths and seeing the magic in each other. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. March 2015
15
education
box
Developing lateral thinking skills will not only help your child solve complex problems, it can also boost self-esteem. By JOCELYN WARRINGTON
a
bat and a ball cost R1,10. The bat costs R1 more than the ball. How much does the ball cost? The first number that comes to your mind is 10c, right? The distinctive mark of this easy puzzle is that it evokes an answer that is intuitive, appealing and wrong. Do the maths and you will see. If the ball costs 10c, then the total cost will be R1,20 (10c for the ball and R1,10 for the bat), not R1,10. The correct answer is 5c. The purpose of the above puzzle is to observe your brain in autopilot and to note how intuitive impressions can hold great sway over our thoughts. In 1967, Dr Edward de Bono coined the term “lateral thinking”
obvious and involving ideas that may not be obtainable by using only step-by-step logic. De Bono is the first to admit that creativity is a messy and confusing subject. At its simplest level, “creative” means bringing into being something that was not there before. Understanding the need for creativity in business and industry today is the easy part. The phrase “innovate or die” is frequently bandied about as a reference to the emergence of a new creative economy in which efficiency is no longer the game changer. When Steve Jobs returned to Apple after 12 years, the company needed a controversial $150 million investment from archrival
Intelligence is something we are born with; thinking is a skill that must be learned. as a method of solving problems through an indirect and creative approach – a system of thinking that deliberately distances itself from intuitive, unconscious thought. “In the face of fast-changing trends, fierce competition and the need to work miracles despite tight budgets, better quality and service are not enough. Creativity and innovation are the only engines that will drive lasting success,” De Bono famously declared. Lateral thinking, therefore, is a way of breaking free of traditional thinking patterns and solving problems via an indirect or creative approach, using reasoning that is not always immediately
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Microsoft to stay afloat. Even worse, when asked what he would do were he in Jobs’s shoes, Michael Dell (of computer giant Dell Inc) said, “I’d shut [the company] down, and give the money back to shareholders.” Rather than give up, Jobs was able to use these “indignities” to fuel an amazing comeback. In a very short period of time, Apple grew to become the most valuable company ever. Innovation – the ability to think out the box – was the magic ingredient that brought Apple back from the brink. And innovation remains the key source of the company’s competitive edge.
Where traditional notions argue that creativity takes place via a process of logical thinking, trial and error, feedback and reflection, De Bono and other lateralthinking proponents stress the need to take off the “blinkers” of past knowledge in order to look at things afresh. Sadly, De Bono’s ideas run counter to many of the established “systems” of schooling and society as a whole, where a one-size-fitsall scenario frequently operates, says Niki Everitt, a Cape Town-based Montessori preschool teacher. “Whether this is due to the way teachers are trained, or because society expects everyone to conform, is a matter of debate, but teachers often have the perception that there is only one right way of doing things and that deviating from the set programme will lead to confusion or, worse, a greater workload for the teachers themselves,” says Everitt. “But children also learn from their parents, with all their preconceived notions. How many times, while watching a child do something, do we remark afterwards, ‘I wouldn’t have done it that way,’ yet remain amazed at the success of the outcome?” Unless creativity is nurtured in childhood, we grow up as adults too “afraid” to take intellectual risks and we constantly fall back on “what we were taught”, says Everitt. Lianna Morrison, an educational psychologist based in the Overberg, agrees: “The ability to look at problems from various angles and solve them in sometimes unconventional ways differs considerably from our traditional schooling system, which focuses on clearly measurable outcomes. While there are teachers who try to introduce more creativity into lessons, this is not often successful in the long run as the constant
fear of ‘will we be marked on this?’ is contrary to the creative process. Sure, it is easy to blame the school system, but the challenges that it faces in trying to ensure that millions of children’s learning needs are met and standards maintained is not an easily solvable one. Therefore it is up to parents to create opportunities for children to be their creative selves.”
freedom to fail Not only is the ability to think laterally essential for challenging the established status quo, but research also indicates that creativity is inextricably linked to the process of self-actualisation (the achievement of one’s full potential) and the building of self-esteem. Joburg-based educational psychologist Melanie Hartgill explains: “Childhood is perhaps the only time in one’s life that – hopefully – we won’t be criticised for thinking or doing things ‘differently’. As we all know, some of us function more with our right brains and some more with our left brains, some of us have a stronger auditory memory and some a stronger visual memory. So a young child needs to be given opportunities to experiment with different methods to find out what works best for him or her. Failure is as important a learning tool as success as it helps build self-confidence. And, as we know, self-confidence opens a lot of doors, even when ability is not one’s strongest point.” One of the most widely held misconceptions about creativity, says Philippa Brinkmann who teaches at a prominent Cape Town junior school, is that only some children possess it: “Children are born with bucket loads of creativity and they constantly draw on this to solve problems they encounter every day: from finding a way to get their bodies across
serious creativity Educational psychologist Lianna Morrison suggests the following tools to increase your child’s ability to think laterally: • Encourage questions. Children need to ask questions about what they are being taught so that they can deepen their understanding of concepts. Teach them to ask the questions that no one else is asking. • Creativity can be encouraged even in the traditional school setting; for example, maths and physics principles can be taught by giving children a bunch of straws, string and a marshmallow, with the goal of building the highest structure that can hold the marshmallow. • Give children access to resources. These can be anything from paper and pencils to library cards, internet access or visits to museums. • Let them work together, lead discussions and ask questions of one another. Learning how to communicate one’s ideas in a respectful manner is as important as the ideas themselves. • Let them try out their ideas. The annual Global Cardboard Challenge run by the Imagination Foundation (imagination.is) is an example of a fun, creative initiative that encourages children to put their ideas out there. • Build the attributes that enhance creativity: confidence, curiosity, the freedom to explore and resourcefulness. Help them learn to silence their own inner critics.
magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
thinking
out the
tradition: the enemy of invention?
a room to learning to share a bar of chocolate with siblings so that everyone gets an equal amount. Creativity is not the sole possession of the ‘arty’ children. A child who is organised and on top of her schoolwork has probably drawn on her creative powers to plan her learning process and manage her time well.
opportunities, tools and encouragement in a safe environment. “I remember watching a youngster mountain climbing with his dad down below holding the rope,” recalls Everitt. “The father wasn’t shouting up instructions to his son on how and where he should place his hands and feet, but was rather ‘there’ holding the rope should
Children are born with bucket loads of creativity and they constantly draw on this to solve problems they encounter every day. Allowing children the space and time to explore ideas creatively develops logic and often they discover the need for planning and regulating their thought processes at the same time.” According to De Bono, “Intelligence is something we are born with; thinking is a skill that must be learned.” Brainteasers, riddles and puzzles are great creative ways of getting children to think laterally, but so is providing them with everyday
magazine durban
brain games Great apps for children who need an extra brain-charged challenge: Pip and Posy Activities based on the Pip and Posy book series by Axel Scheffler, include colouring scenes with drawing tools, matching pairs, “spot the differences” games and jigsaw puzzles for different ability levels. Age: 3 years Pettson’s Inventions Twenty-seven puzzles contain various imaginary machines that allow children to combine sets of pulleys, gears, belts, weights (plus some air-puffing and fire-breathing creatures) into working “inventions”. Age: 5 years Questimate! Pro An estimation game in which children make up their own questions (there are various categories, from Amazing Animals to GeoOdyssey) and then challenge friends or family. Age: 7 years Hairy Balls Place your balls strategically to solve the puzzles in this addictive game that challenges the brain while developing planning and spatial reasoning skills. It includes quirky characters and an original soundtrack. Ages: 10 to 12 years
anything go wrong. The child chose his own route and method, according to his own ability, size and strength, and was really chuffed with himself when he reached the top, knowing that he had made a good plan and that no matter what, his father was there supporting him if need be. Surely that young boy will be better equipped to make good decisions in life than the boy who is constantly being steered in one direction only?”
March 2015
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book extract
joan’s refreshing summer salad Serves 6
There’s an interesting story to this recipe, originating with my late Aunt Joan, who was very proud of it. While on a diet, she wondered what she could concoct from the “legitimate” ingredients in her kitchen and came up with the following refreshingly different salad.
picnic pleasers
ingredients • 1 x 400g can chickpeas, drained and rinsed • 1 English cucumber, peeled and finely chopped (deseed if you intend to keep the salad for more than a couple of hours) • 1 red pepper (or ½ red and ½ yellow, ideally for colour), deseeded and finely diced • 2 medium apples (Golden Delicious or firm red apples), diced • 15–30ml fresh lemon juice (for squeezing over apple to prevent discolouration)
• ½ small onion, finely chopped (optional) • 30ml mayonnaise* • salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
*
If you’re watching your calories, substitute normal mayonnaise with a reduced-fat version.
method 1 Simply mix all the ingredients together. 2 Store in the fridge until required.
A picnic is casual entertaining at its best, and one that appeals to families with young children. Once you’ve found the perfect spot, these recipes from JANET KOHLER’S
my stand-by quiche recipe Serves 8
Perfect Parties are sure to delight everyone.
6 Line with paper and fill with baking beans. Bake the pastry case blind for about 10 minutes until the edges are just starting to colour. Remove the paper and baking beans and bake for a further 10 minutes until the base is firm and dried out slightly.
basic quiche custard Serves 4–6
In Europe, this is a popular choice for a picnic, and has huge visual appeal when you cut out a slice. It can be made several hours ahead of the picnic or even the night before. ingredients • 1 round artisan loaf of bread, about 23cm in diameter • ± 20ml basil pesto or ± 60g cream cheese • baby spinach leaves to line the base of the loaf (optional) • ± 250g buffalo mozzarella, sliced into rounds • a choice of Italian cold meats
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•
• • • •
e.g. salami, Parma ham, mortadella, coppa a selection of roasted vegetables e.g. roasted red and yellow bell peppers, roasted beetroot, grilled aubergine and preserved artichoke hearts (drained) ripe tomatoes or baby rosa tomatoes, sliced a handful of basil leaves seasoning to taste balsamic glaze (optional)
method 1 Cut out a lid from the top of the bread (reserve this for later). Scoop out some of the centre of the loaf (use for making croutons or breadcrumbs). Don’t scoop out too much, or the loaf will fall apart. 2 Spread some basil pesto or cream cheese over the bottom of the hollowed-out loaf. 3 Layer the various ingredients, starting with those that are firmer and have less moisture (such as the spinach or cheese) to prevent the base from becoming too soft or soggy. Season each layer. 4 Top the final layer with pesto or a little balsamic glaze. 5 Replace the lid and wrap the loaf firmly with clingfilm. You can use a can or two to weigh it down slightly. Serve it 4–6 hours later, cutting into thick slices.
This faithful recipe is versatile, freezes beautifully and tastes as if it’s just been baked when reheated. The recipe can be made into individual quiches (simply place the pastry into non-stick muffin trays, chill in the fridge, then fill and bake).
cheese pastry ingredients • 155g cake flour • 90g cold butter, cut into smallish cubes • 60g Cheddar cheese, grated • 30–45ml cold water method 1 Preheat the oven to 190°C. 2 Process the flour and butter in a food processor for about 15 seconds, until crumbly. Alternatively, use your fingers to rub the butter into the flour. 3 Add the cheese and water. Process in short bursts until the mixture comes together. Add a little extra water if necessary. 4 Turn out the dough onto a floured surface and gather into a ball. Cover with clingfilm and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. 5 Roll out the dough to fit a 22cm diameter pastry case and place in the fridge to rest for 10–20 minutes before baking.
ingredients • 3 eggs • 250ml cream (or half milk, half cream) • salt and freshly ground black pepper • 15ml chopped fresh mixed herbs (e.g. rosemary, parsley, thyme) • ± 75g grated cheese (e.g. mature Cheddar) • paprika for sprinkling method 1 Preheat the oven to 180°C. 2 Whisk the eggs and milk or cream lightly together, add seasoning and herbs, then pour over the filling of your choice. 3 Sprinkle over some grated cheese and a little paprika, then bake for approximately 40 minutes.
filling variations Roasted Mediterranean vegetables drizzled with olive oil (bake for about 45 minutes until just tender) • Roasted sweet potato and butternut with feta • Freshly grated courgettes • Roasted butternut, Gorgonzola (or any other blue cheese) and cherry tomatoes • Roasted vegetables with red onion marmalade • Mushroom and bacon: fry 200g chopped bacon or pancetta in a little olive oil, and sauté a punnet of sliced mushrooms with 1–2 cloves garlic. Combine, then add to the basic quiche custard in the recipe.
magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPHS: Sean Calitz
rustic italian antipasti picnic loaf
crunchy oat and chocolate biscuits Makes ± 18
This is an adaptation of an old recipe from Bredasdorp in the Southern Cape. My family always asks me to make a batch for padkos whenever we set off for a picnic or holiday.
crunchy oat biscuits ingredients • 230g butter (preferably unsalted) or margarine • 100g granulated white sugar • 120g desiccated coconut • 40g rolled oats • 210g cake flour • pinch of salt • 15ml cocoa powder • 8ml baking powder method 1 Preheat the oven to 180°C. 2 Melt the butter, add the sugar, and stir to combine. 3 Stir in the coconut and oats, then sift in the flour, salt, cocoa powder
and baking powder. Combine well and knead a little. 4 Press mixture firmly into a 22cm greased or greaseproof paperlined square tin; use the back of a spoon (or potato masher) to level the mixture. 5 Bake for 20–30 minutes then remove from the oven. Pour over the chocolate topping while the biscuit base is still warm.
chocolate topping ingredients • ± 45ml milk • 15ml butter (salted or unsalted) • 260g icing sugar, sifted • 30ml cocoa powder • 5ml vanilla extract method 1 Combine all the ingredients in a saucepan and bring to the boil, stirring, then remove from the heat. 2 Pour the hot topping over the baked biscuit crust, tilting the pan so that the chocolate coats the surface.* 3 While the crust is still warm, cut the biscuit into squares, but leave them to cool and set completely before removing from the pan.
*
If the mixture is too thick to pour, add a bit more milk. You can substitute chocolate ganache for this topping.
picnic packing check list • • • •
• • • • • • • • • •
Serving plates and platters Plates and bowls for eating Glasses and mugs Cutlery: forks, knives, spoons, teaspoons, bread knife, utility knife and/or cheese knife, serving utensils Paper serviettes or cloth napkins Damp cloth or moist wet wipes Paper towel Bottle opener/corkscrew and bottle cooler Insect repellent and suntan cream Candle/s or lamps and a torch if it is likely to get dark Firelighters or matches and firewood to make a fire Braai utensils (grid, tongs, etc.) Containers, foil or packets for leftovers Packets or bin liners for refuse
• Picnic blanket and/or fold-up chairs and table • Ice bricks or ice cubes food and drink items • All savoury items for the picnic • All sweet or dessert items for the picnic • Flask with filter coffee or hot water for tea or instant coffee • Milk • Sugar • Salt and pepper • Salad dressing and condiments • Butter • Wine • Juice/water/soft drinks • Breads, baguettes and/or bread rolls • Cheese platter and fruit • Chips, dips or pâté
about the book In Perfect Parties (Random House Struik) Janet Kohler presents a dazzling array of inspirational party ideas, complemented by delicious recipes. Janet also guides readers through every aspect of the party, whether it’s a birthday, engagement, picnic, baby shower, wedding or high tea. It’s all there – from choosing a theme and finding appropriate decor, right down to step-by-step recipes. The author is a trained cordon bleu chef who runs her own cookery school from home in Durban. This lavishly illustrated book is available at all good bookstores for R325.
magazine durban
March 2015
19
your child’s life
playing to win Choosing extramurals can be a balancing act, but the end goal is to nurture happy, motivated children. TAMLYN VINCENT offers some guidelines.
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Bruwer and Tzanos. They also learn how to win and lose gracefully, and how to deal with their frustrations. Children should choose which extramurals they do, which lets them develop their unique interests, find their identity, and discover personal strengths, says Joburg-based occupational therapist Susan Holland. Extramurals help develop self-esteem, determination and confidence, while encouraging children to commit and persevere. Holland says these are essential life lessons “as children learn to experience failure, disappointment and the value of continued hard work”.
balancing act Not only will schools offer sports and after-school activities, but private classes are often available. So, do you sign your child up for everything, hoping that this will give him the best opportunity to develop? No, say the sports coordinators at Thomas More College (TMC) in Kloof; children that take too many extramurals could be at a magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
h
ow many extramurals does your child do every week? Don’t forget to count school sports, social clubs and other organised activities. Throw in school and homework, and some children are working longer days than their parents. We all know extramurals are important, not just for physical development, but also for improving social skills. The focus, however, should be on choosing the correct, and the right number, of extramurals for your child. Many extramurals give children the much-needed chance to exercise, which has benefits like building strength and increasing stamina. Exercise also builds muscles, which is important for children who struggle with low postural tone, say Lourdes Bruwer and Carly Tzanos, both of whom are occupational therapists and moms. Other extramurals let children explore more creative avenues or particular interests. Team sports and group activities show children how to work with others by taking turns, and learning about and following the rules, say
disadvantage. Children need a balance between homework and extramurals, and taking on too much too early can leave them disinterested or at risk of burnout. Children also need time to be children. Pamela, a Durban mom of two, ensures that her daughters’ time isn’t filled with organised activities. “Children also need to be outside swimming, playing and visiting friends,” she says.
them take a short break, but they go back and finish the year. Every child is different, so consider each one separately and choose extramurals based on their individual strengths and weaknesses, says Holland. Younger children can join classes that don’t take too much time, or tire them out. Older children should be encouraged to continue with their choice of extramural, without giving
In a balanced day children can achieve something, learn new things and grow at their own pace. But there are no hard and fast rules about how to achieve a balance. Children’s personalities, time factors and family dynamics all impact on how many extramurals they can comfortably take on. “If extramurals interfere with homework, or negatively affect family routine, this should be a red flag to parents,” says Holland. When children stop enjoying their extramurals, or when they lack motivation to do everyday tasks, then the balance probably isn’t right. Holland says that homework should be a priority, plus children should have free time every day. They shouldn’t feel stressed or anxious about what they need to fit into a day, advises Holland. “In a balanced day children can achieve something, learn new things, and grow at their own pace.”
choosing wisely With so much on offer, how do you choose? Start with the activities children are interested in, say Bruwer and Tzanos. Tell children what their options are and give them a say as they are the ones that need to commit to the activity. But the TMC sports coordinators caution that there shouldn’t be a choice of not doing an extramural; parents should encourage their children to participate in at least one activity a week, preferably a team one. Pamela’s daughters have to nag her for at least a term so she knows they are really interested, and only then will she assess costs, times and other details. She also asks them to commit to the extramural for a year. If their interest wanes, she encourages them and may let
up. Children should have fun with their extramurals, and activities that play to their strengths can build self-esteem. On the flip side, extramurals that improve children’s weaknesses can have a positive impact on development, as long as children enjoy them. These types of activities may even be recommended by a professional. In this case, say Bruwer and Tzanos, it’s important to help children understand how the activity will help them, and ensure they are given one that is challenging enough to keep them motivated, but not too difficult that they want to give up. Too much pressure takes away some of the enjoyment. If you have children that want to try everything, give them a limited number of choices, say Bruwer and Tzanos. And introduce one at a time so they can adjust easily. Extramurals outside of school can help shy children make new friends and build confidence. Privately-run activities also offer something that the school may not cater for, which children may love. But the TMC sports coordinators recommend that children sign up for at least one school extramural, so they can benefit from the social interaction and teamwork. Extramurals are essential for creating well-balanced children. But finding the right balance for each child is equally important, remembering that children still have school, homework and playtime to get to. If children are happy, motivated and learning something new, then you know you’ve made the right choice.
budgeting tips • M ake sure children really want to do an activity before signing them up. Let them wait it out a bit, so you know they’re motivated, before committing. • Set aside a budget and stick to it. • Do your research and watch out for hidden expenses. • Borrow or buy second-hand equipment until children show dedication. • Try it at home first – ask friends or family to help teach or coach children. Or hire a tutor or high school student for a group of children. • Get a lift club going for extramurals outside of school.
magazine durban
March 2015
21
parenting
world’s
best dad Children need their fathers to be invested in their lives from day one. MARC DE CHAZAL gathers some advice to help new dads make the most of the wonderful journey of fatherhood.
change a nappy like a boss “The first thing to do is try to find someone else to change the nappy,” says Lee Farrell, father to Bella (5), and Eden (2). “This can be done in a number of ways, the most popular being the finders-keepers rule. If this fails then preparation is the key. Do not remove the fasteners of the soiled nappy without having all the necessary paraphernalia laid out within easy reach. The younger the child the more dangerous this operation will be. When they are young the poo can be quite runny. So before unfastening, check that there are no leakages to contend with. If you find any, place the fully clothed child directly into the bath and call for help. If you’re in the clear, then make sure to have a nappy bag, wet wipes and a clean nappy within your reach, but out of the baby’s reach. Carefully unfasten the nappy and clean up as much as you can before removing it. Immediately put the clean nappy under the child; they have a knack for urinating if they know there is no nappy under them. Then, one more wipe for good measure and fasten the new nappy. You’re done!”
courage under fire You don’t just need to keep your wits about you while changing a wriggling infant’s nappy. There are spills and thrills aplenty in childhood. Don’t panic, you’ve got this… You’re going to have to deal with a toddler meltdown at some point. Toddlers can’t express themselves very well, and as they are curious little creatures, they tend to take on more than they can handle. A tantrum is more than likely. To defuse one, you can try being silly, distract them, ignore it or leave the scene. If you understand
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the cause – usually frustration or being overwhelmed – you can handle it better. Most young children will get bumps, scrapes and bruises. It’s normal. But what should you do if it’s more serious? It’s not always easy to know when to call an ambulance, but definitely do so if your child stops breathing or is unconscious. You should get her to the ER if she is having difficulty breathing, has severe abdominal pain, has a cut that won’t stop bleeding, has injured a limb and can’t use it, or has swallowed pills or poison. Always carry a fully-stocked first-aid kit in your car in case of emergencies and know what to do if your child has something stuck up his nose, has a cut, gets burned or has a fit. To find a first aid course, browse childmag.co.za/resources/first-aidcourses Also, your patience is going to be tested while driving, especially on long trips. The trick is to keep them entertained. Games and age-appropriate movies on a tablet are a no-brainer. Audiobooks and music also work, as do games such as count the lampposts or white cars. And always make sure your children are strapped into their seats and that you’ve properly fitted the baby car seat.
fun times Greg Andrews, father to Katy (9), and Grace (6), often takes his daughters outdoors to find the fun. A favourite spot is in a park near to home that has a stream and a small dam, with a watery rock slide that’s easy to access. Greg always has plenty of colourful chunks of chalk on hand, which they use to create street art on pavements or in parking lots. He’s also a fan of pepakura, a type of paper craft in which flat paper models are cut out, folded, and otherwise constructed into hollow models in three dimensions. “Google it… and descend down the rabbit hole,” he says wryly. One of their favourite outings is a train trip from Cape Town to Simon’s Town. “A little planning is required because of train timetables and making sure we have enough
snacks and stuff to do along the way, such as colouring-in books or something to read,” says Greg. “It’s always educational meeting different people on the train, especially travelling ‘third class’,” he says. A bus trip is also fun and educational. The City Sightseeing Red Bus tours are a great way to get around your city, but Greg says you’ll be surprised how much children also love a ride on a Golden Arrow bus.
lone ranger It’s possible to still be a great dad if you find yourself going solo one day. For Angus Begg, it all comes down to time. “At about 6:40am recently, my five year old, Fynn, asked if I could read him an excerpt from Tintin’s Crab With the Golden Claws,” Angus recalls. “It was the story-frame in the Sahara desert, where Captain Haddock is on a camel with the ubiquitous bottle of grog raised to his lips. He is about to drink when
couple when they have made up their minds that they definitely don’t want any more children. However, I think it’s unwise to do it younger than 30 years old,” adds Grizic. “A vasectomy can technically be reversed, but you should consider it irreversible.” Once you’ve decided to get the snip, you can opt to have the procedure done under local or general anaesthetic. Either way, you’ll be discharged the same day. A sperm count should be done around two months after the procedure and again at about the three-month mark to ensure you are sterile.
show me the money Children are not only hard work; they can burn a spectacular hole in your wallet. But you’re smart. You’re going to start saving for your child’s education as soon as possible, especially for high school and tertiary education, which tends to increase in cost annually by 4% above the rate of inflation.
Your patience is going to be tested while driving, especially on long trips. the bottle explodes, hit by a bullet. fired by a Bedouin horseman. Fynn wanted to know every detail: ‘And then what happened? Why? How?’ Each frame was explained until Haddock and Tintin ended up in a life boat being shot at by devilish baddies… until I realised I still had to make breakfast, brush teeth – ‘and gargle Dad’ – before getting him to school. While it makes him feel valued, loved and heard, for the single dad, this time spent is priceless. “No less important in the ‘lessons learnt’ stakes has been allowing him to fail and observing his joy at success,” says Angus, “like when we removed the trainer wheels from his bike.” Angus admits that time for a single dad is never enough, “but it achieves an intensity the regular dad can barely imagine”.
when to get the snip “There is no right age to have a vasectomy,” says Dr Anthony Martin Grizic, a urologist practicing at Chelmsford Medical Centre in Durban. “The decision should be taken by a
One way to get a head start is to take your annual bonus and put it into an RA. Each year thereafter, top it up with the money you get back from the taxman plus the amount by which your bonus exceeds the previous year’s bonus. Whatever education plan you opt for, the important thing is to get going sooner rather than later. You can also open an investment in your child’s name, which will teach him the importance of saving as well as the remarkable power of compounding interest. One of the simplest places to start is with an index-tracking fund. You can invest as little as R300 per month or a lump sum of R1 000. You’ll also need appropriate medical aid cover for your family. Medical bills can quickly pile up for young families who find themselves in their paediatrician’s waiting room a lot. Also speak to your financial advisor about a good life policy and update your will. Hopefully you’ll still be around to walk your grandchildren to the park, but in case you aren’t, rather leave your family a legacy than a financial burden. magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com
t
he moment a man gingerly holds his child for the first time is quite possibly the most awe-inspiring and terrifying event of his life. “It is much easier to become a father than to be one,” Kent Nerburn aptly put it in Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man. It takes work to be a great dad, but the reward is worth it. Here’s some advice for new dads from fathers who have bumbled along this fantastic journey like everyone else before them.
books
a good
read early graders
preschoolers
toddlers
Zoe and Beans – Pirate Treasure! By Chloë and Mick Inkpen
(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R93) In this book for children up to the age of five years old, our heroes go on a seaside adventure. Zoe, Beans and their friend Oscar have got buckets and spades and they’re ready to search for buried pirate treasure. But digging is hard work and treasure is difficult to find. It looks like it’s up to clever Beans to sniff something out.
Jeff and George and the Totem Pole By Emily Child and Julia Anastasopoulos (Published by Penguin SA, R123) This entertaining book illustrates the unusual friendship between a boy and a springbok that live in a flat in Cape Town. Jeff loves to organise things; George loves to dream of green grass. They share an overwhelming passion for rugby, adventure and imaginative problem-solving.
True or False? By Andrea Mills
The Roald Dahl Treasury By Roald Dahl (Published by Random House Group, R261) Whether a beautiful gift for the Dahl fan or a stunning introduction to Roald Dahl’s work, this superb hardback is jam-packed with complete picture tales, as well as excerpts from longer stories, poetry (some previously unpublished), autobiographical material and letters. It is also filled with outstanding artwork from Quentin Blake, Raymond Briggs, Posy Simmonds, Ralph Steadman, Patrick Benson, Charlotte Voake, Lane Smith and Babette Cole, among others.
(Published by Dorling Kindersley, R296) Do we only use 10% of our brains? Does lightning ever strike the same place twice? Does spinach make you stronger? Was the T-Rex the biggest dinosaur? Consult this encyclopaedia and find out whether these common beliefs are true or false. Packed with fun facts for children, statistics and common sayings, it covers lots of weird topics and fascinating information, from animals and people to space and science. The book is also filled with colourful pictures, photographs and infographics.
preteens and teens
for us
parenting The Runaways By Elizabeth Goudge (Published by Hesperus Press, R161) When four orphaned children run away from their tyrannical grandmother, they begin a great adventure. Locked away in separate rooms as punishment by their ruthless grandmother, Nan, Robert, Timothy and Betsy decide to make their escape. Their pony leads them to a house that belongs to their Uncle Ambrose. Gruff but loveable Uncle Ambrose agrees to take them under his wing, letting the children have free rein in his sprawling manor house and the surrounding countryside. magazine durban
The Imaginary By A.F. Harrold and Emily Gravett (Published by Bloomsbury, R157) Rudger is Amanda’s best friend. He doesn’t exist. Only Amanda can see her imaginary friend – until the sinister Mr Bunting arrives at Amanda’s door. Mr Bunting hunts imaginaries. Rumour has it that he eats them, and he’s sniffed out Rudger. Soon Rudger is alone, and running for his imaginary life. But can a boy who isn’t there survive without a friend to dream him up? This is a brilliantly funny, scary and moving read, with beautiful illustrations by the awardwinning Emily Gravett.
The Last Days of Rabbit Hayes By Anna McPartlin
The Allergy-free Baby & Toddler Book By Charlotte Muquit and Adam Fox
(Published by Random House Group, R257) Rabbit Hayes loves her life, ordinary as it is, and the extraordinary people in it. She loves her spirited daughter, Juliet; her colourful, unruly family; and the only man in her big heart, Johnny Faye. But it turns out the world has other plans for Rabbit, and she’s okay with that, because she has plans for the world too, and only a handful of days left to make them happen.
(Published by Random House Group, R257) This book explains everything you need to know about allergies, from navigating the diagnosis process to the practical steps you can take to manage it in the long term. You’ll also find 30 delicious allergyfree recipes. Comprehensive, accessible and informative, The Allergy-Free Baby & Toddler Book gives parents the knowledge and reassurance they need to stop allergies getting in the way of a fun, full and active childhood. March 2015
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resource
sea, sand and sunshine On most resort islands there is a wealth of things to see and do while enjoying the exclusivity and seclusion it offers. MARINA ZIETSMAN has picked some of the best family-friendly island getaways around the globe. south pacific
caribbean
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part in traditional Fijian lali drum sessions. Family activities include banana boat rides, kayaking, paddle boarding, the Monoriki Island Tour (or Tom Hanks Island, where Cast Away was filmed), volleyball, handline fishing at sunset and more. Parents can indulge in lots of island activities, such as scuba diving, snorkelling, island tours, deep sea fishing, surfing and more, or simply find a hammock and tuck into a book. Accommodation The resort has traditional thatched-roof bures, or bungalows. The family bures are specifically for larger groups who need some extra space. These can sleep up to 10 people. They also have a set family dinnertime where the children can choose from a buffet with a large variety of popular dishes, giving parents a chance to sip on a cocktail nearby. Best time to go May to September For more info Visit castawayfiji.com
Destination St Lucia, part of the Lesser Antilles, south Caribbean Drawcard St Lucia is really two islands in one, with lots of small, luxurious resorts, mostly in the north, and old plantations, hidden beaches and the geological wonder of the Piton Mountains in the southern regions. For families You can drive through a volcano, hike in the Pitons and the rainforest, visit the Sulphur Springs of Soufriere and explore the Caribbean coral reef. St Lucia stands apart from the rest of the Caribbean islands due to its varied landscape and diverse culture and cuisine, which is distinguished by African, Indian, Caribbean, British, Spanish and French influences. For the active traveller there is snorkelling in the ocean, and a wide range of water sports. The beaches have soft sand and the water
fast fact Fiji was once known as Cannibal Isles, as cannibalism was rife on the island until the late 1800s. The indigenous tribes believed that eating an enemy inflicted the ultimate humiliation.
is warm for swimming. You can take a family sailboat down the island’s coast, go on whale and dolphin-watching expeditions and glass-bottomed boat trips. There are also rainforest nature trails suitable for families with young children. The Pigeon Island National Park has two beautiful beaches, military ruins, a lookout point at the top of the fort and an Interpretive Centre where you can learn about the rich history of the island. Teenagers can enjoy rainforest treks, ziplining over the tree canopy or riding a Segway along a nature trail. Horseback riding on the beach is also popular, as is kite surfing. Accommodation Several hotels cater for families with children’s clubs and menus, as well as adjoining rooms and childfocused activities. Babysitting services are
available at some locations. Some hotels also feature water parks. Best time to go In mid-December to April the weather is ideal, but the rates are higher. Summer and autumn is the wet season and hurricane season runs from June to November. For more info Visit stlucianow.com
fast fact Despite its population of only 176 000, there are two Saint Lucian Nobel Prize winners: Arthur Lewis for economics and Derek Walcott for literature.
magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com
Destination Castaway Island, situated in the heart of the Mamanuca group of islands, Fiji Drawcard It offers a nature experience with all the comforts of a resort hotel. The island has an area of 70 hectares and is only inhabited on one side where the tourist resort is situated. It is surrounded by coral reefs, with magnificent sea life and beautiful beaches. The Castaway Island Resort has won numerous travel awards. For families The island resort has a Kids’ Club that is open from 9am until 10pm every day. Children from the age of three years old enjoy all sorts of fun island discoveries with an emphasis on naturebased play. They can play games like poison ball and traffic lights, and take part in ice-cream eating competitions. They can also enjoy more island-based activities such as crab hunting and snorkelling lessons, as well as getting dressed up for the torch-lighting ceremony and taking
mediterranean Destination Malta, southern Europe Drawcard Summer time in Malta is all about outdoor living, but there is much more to Malta than sea and sand. It has a rich history dating back thousands of years and is also a popular destination for concerts, open-air music events, art and crafts fairs, exhibitions, shows, feasts and carnivals. For families With warm weather year-round as well as being considered one of the safest places in the world (it regularly ranks as one of the top 10 safest destinations on international crime indexes), Malta is the ideal holiday for families. Satisfy your cultural cravings and visit prehistoric temples, Roman ruins, medieval castles, forts, ancient churches and chapels. Some of these locations have regular enactments of history, complete with costumes and events. Malta is famous for diving and snorkelling, and thanks to the weather, there is plenty to do, ranging from rock climbing, caving, golf, tennis and horse riding to windsurfing, kayaking, jet-skiing, waterskiing, wakeboarding, paragliding, water polo, canoeing, fishing, yachting and sailing.
Accommodation There is a wide variety of accommodation to choose from: hotels, campsites, farmhouses, guesthouses, flats, hostels, villas and two tourist villages. Of the latter, Mellieha Holiday Centre has a children’s club. The other, Wardija Hilltop Village, was carved out of a hill, which gives it panoramic views of the sea. Both villages have dedicated children’s areas. Best time to go July to September is around 30°C, but May/June and October/ November is less busy and cooler (27°C). For more info Visit visitmalta.com and maltababyandkids.com
fast fact Malta consists of three islands: Gozo, Comino and Malta. Comino, the smallest of the three, is virtually uninhabited, save one hotel, and is carless.
south indian ocean Destination Mauritius Drawcard The flight there is only three hours from Durban, four hours from Joburg and five hours from Cape Town. For families A ring of coral reefs surrounds almost the entire coastline of Mauritius and forms many shallow lagoons, rich with white coral sand beaches and dunes. Mauritius is also a malaria-free zone. The beaches are long and uncrowded and the island has unusual wildlife and fauna. Most resorts are child-friendly, with children’s clubs, and the shallow waters are ideal for little ones. Naturally, Mauritius is popular for its water sports, from dolphin-watching cruises to snorkelling, scuba diving, surfing and rafting. Inland there are nature reserves, Segway tours, cultural villages and culinary tours, hiking tours, the Mauritius Aquarium and several water parks. Accommodation Mauritius has plenty of superb hotels and resorts, which are convenient, have children’s clubs with
activities, and all amenities in-house. If you’d prefer not to go this route, opt for holiday apartments, villas, B&Bs, beach cottages, penthouses, inns, or tree lodges and luxury tent options. Best time to go The island has a classic tropical climate with warm sunny weather virtually all year round. May to December is recommended as it’s not too humid. February and March gets the most rain. For more info Visit mauritius.net
fast fact Mark Twain allegedly said: “You gather the idea that Mauritius was created first, and then heaven; and that heaven was copied after Mauritius.”
north indian ocean Destination The Maldives, an island nation in the Indian Ocean/Arabian Sea region, consisting of 26 atolls. Drawcard Year-round sunshine, warm water, water sports, top dive sites, a safe environment and barefoot luxury. For families The Maldives used to have the reputation of a honeymooners’ retreat,
fast fact The Maldives is a strictly Muslim nation, and obeying local laws and traditions is a requirement.
magazine durban
but that is rapidly changing with more and more islands and resorts catering specifically for families. The Maldives has excellent diving spots and many of the family-friendly resorts have certified PADI diving centres, which offer ageappropriate scuba courses for children and teenagers. Most resorts and hotels with children’s clubs offer surfing lessons, cookery classes, art and crafts sessions with local materials, treasure hunts, nature walks and more, as well as indoor activities such as films and computer games. Water sports include windsurfing, catamaran sailing, banana boat riding, waterskiing, parasailing, fun tubes and canoeing.
Accommodation Find out beforehand which islands are child-friendly. Some islands do not, for example, allow children under the age of eight years old. Resorts will also be wary of allowing parents with children to stay in over-water villas. But there are enough resorts with beachfront cabins, which makes it more relaxing for parents to lounge on their private veranda and watch the children play on the beach. Best time to go From December to April you’ll miss the rain, but it’s the peak season. For more info Visit visitmaldives.com and for a list of child-friendly islands, visit tripadvisor.com
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calendar
You can also access the calendar online at
what’s on in march
childmag.co.za
Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT
21 sat
special events
27
FUN for children
27
only for parents
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bump, baby & tot in tow
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how to help
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SPECIAL EVENTS
FUN FOR CHILDREN
ONLY FOR PARENTS
bump, baby & tot in tow
how to help
Newmarket Stables riding lessons Learn how to ride a horse or advance your skills with these friendly animals.
Thank You For the Music The Barnyard Theatre is saying Thank You For the Music to Abba, the Bee Gees and Queen.
Little Me Moms and Toddlers play groups Moms and tots have fun learning together in these stimulating classes.
Durban and Coast SPCA Help animals in need by adopting a dog or a cat, or donating towards the SPCA.
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magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / warwick saint
Francofête Festival Celebrate diversity and tolerance at this family day that marks Human Rights Day and Francophone week.
17 tuesday
SPECIAL EVENTS
Michael Bublé This Grammy Award winner returns to South Africa. Time: 7:45pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Stamford Hill. Cost: R340–R1 250. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com
5 thursday Thomas More College open days Join them for an informative morning: Grades 000–0 5 March, Grades 1–7 6 March, Grades 8–12 7 March. Time: 9am 5 and 6 March, 9:30am 7 March. Venue: 15 Sykes Rd, Kloof. Cost: free. Contact: 031 764 8640
7 saturday Clifton Preparatory School open morning Prospective boys going into Grades R–7, and their parents, enjoy an informative guided tour of the school. Time: 8:30am. Venue: 102 Lambert Rd, Morningside. Cost: free. Contact: 031 312 2147, bmezher@cliftonschool.co.za or visit cliftonschool.co.za
11 wednesday Durban North College Grade 1 open day This is an English and Afrikaans primary and high school. Parents can take their little ones along, to meet the Grade 1 teachers. Time: 10am. Venue: 29 Prospect Hall Rd, Durban North. Cost: free. Contact: 031 564 1347, admin@durbannorthcollege. co.za or visit durbannorthcollege.co.za Hillcrest Primary School open day The school offers Grades R–7. Time: 8am. Venue: Main School Hall, 17 Emoyeni Dr, Hillcrest. Cost: free. Contact: 031 765 1214
21 saturday 11 March – Hillcrest Primary School open day
Thank You For the Music The Barnyard Theatre “reunites” Abba, the Bee Gees and Queen. Ends 19 April. Time: 8pm Tuesday–Saturday, 2pm Sunday. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R145 Wednesday–Saturday, R110 Tuesday, R100 Sunday. Contact: 031 566 3045 or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za
13 friday Trinityhouse open day They offer preprimary, preparatory and high school education with a Christian ethos. Time: preprimary and preparatory 9am, high school 12:30pm. Venue: Palm Lakes Family Estate, Ballito. Cost: free. Contact: 032 947 2030
14 saturday Durban Girls’ College (DGC) open morning For girls in Grades 00–7. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: 586 Musgrave Rd,
19 thu
Decorex Durban This decor, design and lifestyle exhibition showcases the latest trends, products and services. Plus enjoy delicious foodie experiences, interactive dining and entertaining demonstrations. Ends 22 March. Time: 10am. Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre, Durban CBD. Cost: adults R70, children under 12 years old R15. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com
magazine durban
Musgrave. Cost: free. Contact: 031 268 7254 or lneilson@dgc.co.za Glenridge preprimary school open day Time: 9am–11am. Venue: 10 Rif Rd, Manor Gardens. Cost: free. Contact: 031 261 7272, admin@glenridgepps.co.za or visit glenridgepps.co.za Healers KZN Holistic Fair There are unusual gifts for sale, along with healings and readings. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Kloof Civic Hall, cnr Village Rd and Old Main Rd, Kloof. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 668 4163 or healerskzn@gmail.com
Francofête Festival This music festival features local and international talents, a market, games and food. The family day and evening bring together different cultures, generations and communities. Time: 2pm–11pm. Venue: Sutton Park, Morningside. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 9582 or visit alliance.org.za
15 sunday Old Mutual Music at the Lake Join Mi Casa for a live garden concert. Children are welcome at the KidZone for fun and games. Time: gates open 1pm, concert starts 3pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: presold tickets R140, at the gate R160, children 8–12 years old R60. Book through Webtickets: visit webtickets.co.za SASA amaShuga Walk for Wellness This 5km walk aims to educate people about diabetes. A wellness expo at the amphitheatre offers free blood sugar and blood pressure checks. Time: 8am. Venue: Amphitheatre, Lower Marine Parade, Durban. Cost: R50. Contact: 031 201 2169 or mw.nerve@mweb.co.za
16 monday 18th Time of the Writer This literary festival features novelists, social commentators, activists, playwrights and short-story writers, as well as book launches and workshops. Ends 21 March. Time: varies. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, and other venues. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 260 2506, cca@ukzn. ac.za or visit cca.ukzn.ac.za
17 March – Michael Bublé
25 wednesday Reach for a Dream’s Annual Men’s Golf Day Enjoy a day of golf and help make dreams come true for children with life-threatening illnesses. Time: tee off from 10:40am. Venue: Durban Country Club, Walter Gilbert Rd, Durban. Cost: R4 000 per four-ball. Contact: 031 566 2220 or prkzn@reachforadream.org.za
FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Art lessons Children 8–18 years old learn painting and drawing methods. Time: 9am–11am every Saturday. Venue: High Ridge Rd, Durban North. Cost: R130 per hour. Contact: 074 178 9388 or sdyson@ remax-panache.co.za HartBeat Music and Art Studio Fine art, private piano and djembe drumming lessons. Time: weekly lessons vary. Venue: Leaping Lizards, 37 Valerie Dr, Gillitts. Cost: varies. Contact: 083 470 5743
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calendar Hillcrest Christian Academy 19 and 20 March, Glenwood Prep 26 and 27 March and Gordon Road Girls 23 and 24 March. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 705 7744 or orders@books2you.co.za The Inchanga Choo Choo Travel by steam train to Inchanga, where you’ll find a craft market, picnic area, food and more. 29 March. Time: 8:30am and 12:30pm. Venue: departs from Kloof Station, Stoker’s Arms. Cost: adults R180, children 2–12 years old R130. Contact: 087 808 7715, 082 353 6003 or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za
Crocworld Conservation Centre Discover crocodiles, reptiles and birds. Time: 8:30am–4:30pm daily. Venue: Old Main Rd, Scottburgh. Cost: varies. Contact: 039 976 1103, crocworld@cbl.co.za or visit crocworld.co.za
finding nature and outdoor play Flag Animal Farm With rescued animals, a milking show, indoor play centre, coffee shop and more. Time: daily milking show 12pm and 3pm, professional reptile show 1:30pm. Venue: Sheffield Beach. Cost: R35 entry. Contact: 032 947 2018
holiday programmes classes, talks and workshops Brain Gym classes This is a movement based learning programme for children 2–6 years old. Time: varies, Monday–Friday. Venue: at your preschool. Cost: R380 per term. Contact: jennalee.s@gmail.com or visit cognitivetraining.co.za Children’s beginner belly dance classes Fun belly dance classes for girls 5–10 years old. Time: 4pm–4:30pm every Tuesday. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R140 per month. Contact: 082 829 3658, senta@mayadance.co.za or visit mayadance.co.za Get Ready for School programme Grade R children are introduced to formal learning. Time: 1pm–2:20pm Monday–Thursday. Venue: Kip McGrath Pinetown, 2nd floor, Park Row Building, 4 School Rd, Pinetown. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 702 6833 Helen O’Grady Drama Academy Speech and drama classes promote confidence, communication and creativity. Foundation, intermediate and youth theatre classes are available. Time: after school hours. Venues: franchises in Amanzimtoti, Bellair, Berea, Bluff, Chatsworth, Kloof, La Lucia, Morningside, Overport, Phoenix and Westville. Cost: R650 per term. Contact: 031 562 0679 or durban@ helenogrady.co.za Little Learners Sessions for Grade R children to prepare them for Grade 1. Time: 1:30pm–2:50pm Monday–Friday. Venue: Kip McGrath Umhlanga, 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 1110, admin@kipumhlanga.co.za or visit kipmcgrath.co.za Model Dynamics Modelling and deportment classes. Time: 11am–12:30pm every Saturday. Venue: La Lucia Library. Cost: R50 per lesson, R200 per month. Contact: 031 822 3087 or 083 356 1317
family outings Books2You book fair Time: 10am–3pm 9 March, 7:30am–1pm 10 March. Venue: Deutsche Schule Durban. Also at Westville Junior Prep 17 and 18 March, Curro
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Kandies Kids holiday programme A fun holiday programme for children 2 years old to those in Grade 4. 30 March–3 April. Time: 7am–5:15pm. Venue: 5 Beachway St, Durban North. Cost: R120 per day, includes breakfast, lunch and snacks. Contact: 031 573 2210 or kandiesadmin@arcap.co.za
markets Essenwood Market Free pony rides and entertainment for children, which means you can relax, listen to live music and enjoy treats from the tea garden. Time: 9am–2pm every Saturday. Venue: Berea Park, Steven Dlamini Rd, Essenwood. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com I Heart Market See innovative, handmade, home-made and locally designed items, children’s goods, artisanal foods and more. 7 March. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Isaiah Ntshangase Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact: thejoyteam@gmail.com or visit iheartmarket.blogspot.com Italian Food and Gifts Market Find fresh home-made Italian food, drinks, beauty products and more. 28 March. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: Piazza Square (opposite the Royal Palm Hotel), Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 825 2939 or info@abruzzo.co.za Shongweni Farmer’s and Craft Market Time: 6:30am–10:30am every Saturday. Venue: cnr Kassier Rd and Alverstone Rd, Assagay. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 777 1674, info@shongwenimarket.co.za or visit shongwenimarket.co.za The Play Market A craft and food market for the whole family. 15 March. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Giba Gorge MTB Park, Westmead. Cost: R10 park entry. Contact: 071 307 0823 or gotoplaymarket@ gmail.com
on stage and screen Home When Earth is taken over by the Boov, an alien race looking for a place to call home, all humans are promptly relocated. But Tip, a girl who avoids capture, and a banished Boov named Oh soon realise that there’s more at stake than intergalactic
15 March – Old Mutual Music at the Lake
relations. This animated film opens 27 March. For more info: visit numetro.co.za or sterkinekor.com Old Mutual Music at the Lake 15 March. Time: gates open 1pm, concert starts 3pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: presold tickets R140, at the gate R160, children 8–12 years old R60. Book through Webtickets: visit webtickets.co.za Othello 2015 This is a vital learning aid for those studying Shakespeare’s tragedy as a set work. 16 February–20 March. Time: 9am and 12pm Monday–Friday. Venue: The Playhouse Theatre, Anton Lembede Rd, Durban. Cost: learners R58. Contact: 033 343 4884 or doreen@thinktheatre.co.za
playtime and story time Children’s story time For ages 3–8 years old. Time: 10am every Saturday. Venue: The Book Boutique, 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Lucky Bean A fun, safe children’s playground and coffee shop. Time: 9am–4pm Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: R20 for the first child, R15 for each additional child per family. Contact: 082 216 3892, info@ luckybean.co or visit luckybean.co Steam train rides Ride a miniature steam engine at the Durban Society of Model Engineers. Second Sunday of each month. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 a ride. Contact: 082 569 1383 or visit dsme.co.za
sport and physical activities Adventure Kids Swim School For children 1–15 years old. Time: 2pm–5pm Monday–Thursday. Venue: Glenashley Preparatory School, Durban North. Cost: R400 per month. Contact: 084 624 5962 or visit adventurekidsswim.weebly.com Ice hockey Children develop agility, strength and coordination, plus self-confidence and teamwork skills. Booking essential. Time: 8:45am–9:30am every Sunday. Venue: Galleria Ice Rink, Amanzimtoti. Cost: varies,
10 tue
first lesson free. Contact: 072 237 3114 or visit durbaknights.wordpress.com Newmarket Stables riding lessons For people of all ages and skill levels, from beginners to advanced riders. Time: varies, Monday–Saturday. Venue: cnr NMR Ave and Goble Rd, Durban. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 303 1529 or newmarket. stables@gmail.com
only for parents classes, talks and workshops Adult djembe drumming Lessons are provided by a qualified teacher. Time: tbc, Wednesday evening. Venue: Leaping Lizards, 37 Valerie Dr, Gillitts. Cost: varies. Contact: 083 470 5743 Modern Buddhism meditation programme Weekly meditation classes. Time: 10:30am–12pm every Saturday. Venue: 5 Dover Rd, Westville. Cost: R60 donation per class. Contact: 031 266 0148, info@meditateindurban.org or visit meditateindurban.org Pilates in Motion classes Pilates and Booty Barre classes are available. Time: varies. Venue: Glenwood. Cost: varies. Contact: 082 443 4533, info@pilatesinmotion.co.za or visit pilatesinmotion.co.za Pilates retreat Pilates in Motion hosts a full-day, fully inclusive Pilates retreat. 8 March. Time: 8:30am–4:30pm. Venue: Waterfall Retreat Centre, 20 Debengeni Rd, Waterfall. Cost: R550. Contact: 082 443 4533 or info@pilatesinmotion.co.za Tiny Handz This basic training in South African sign language covers workshops one and two. 27 or 28 March. Time: 8:15am–4pm. Venue: Life Crompton Hospital, 102 Crompton St, Pinetown. Cost: professionals R860, others R830. Contact: 082 218 7339, contact@tinyhandz.co.za or visit tinyhandz.co.za
on stage and screen Defending The Planet #2 Stand by for comedy duo Aaron McIlroy and Lisa
Empower Your Inner Potential Attend a series of inspirational talks and events around meditation with internationally renowned teacher Gen-la Dekyong. Time: varies. Venue: 10 March Westville Civic Centre, 13–15 March Blue Waters Hotel, Durban. Cost: R60 per session. Contact: 031 266 0148, meditateinsa@gmail.com or visit meditateinsa.org
magazine durban
Bobbert in a return of their smash hit take on alien abductions. 18 February– 15 March. Time: 7:30pm Tuesday– Saturday, 3pm Sunday. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, UKZN, Glenwood. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Michael Bublé Enjoy and evening with this Canadian singer. 17 March. Time: 7:45pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Stamford Hill. Cost: R340–R1 250. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Thank You For the Music 11 March– 19 April. Time: 8pm Tuesday–Saturday, 2pm Sunday. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R145 Wednesday–Saturday, R110 Tuesday, R100 Sunday. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres. co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za
support groups ADDicted to Life They address the concerns of parents or guardians of children with ADD or ADHD. Hosted at St Augustine’s Hospital, Glenwood. Contact: 031 822 8573, 083 293 2145, addictedtolifeteam@gmail.com or visit Facebook: ADDicted to life team Choc – Childhood Cancer Foundation KZN For support and more info, contact: 086 111 2182, dbn@choc.org.za or visit choc.org.za Overeaters Anonymous A support group for compulsive overeaters. Contact: 011 640 2901, sms 076 274 5474 or visit oa.org.za Sadag For those suffering from depression or drug abuse or who may be suicidal. For more information or referral to a support group visit sadag.org
bump, baby & Tot in tow
classes, talks and workshops Edubabe Childminder training, first aid workshops and cooking classes. Time: varies. Venue: Glenwood. Cost: varies. Contact: 071 968 1007 or durban@ edubabe.co.za Infant massage class This is a fun, dynamic workshop for moms with their own babies. 2, 9, 16 and 23 March. Time:
2, 9, 16 and 23 March – Infant massage class
8:30am–10am or 10:30am–12pm. Venue: Lasting Impressions Studio, 35 Caefron Ave, Westville. Cost: R600. Contact: 083 661 6682, alison@infantmassagekzn.co.za or visit infantmassagekzn.co.za Pregnancy yoga Gentle yoga for moms-to-be. Time: 9:30am–10:45am, every Saturday. Venue: The Yoga Sanctuary, 49 Delaware Ave, Glenashley. Cost: R260 per month. Contact: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za
it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit
childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties
playtime and story time Baby Bright Stars Interactive classes for moms and babies. Time: varies. Venue: Westville. Cost: R900. Contact: 083 777 4578, kelly@babybrightstars.co.za or visit babybrightstars.co.za Clamber Club Movement and stimulation classes for babies 8 weeks–12 months, and children 1–4 years old. Time: varies. Venues: Ballito, Hillcrest and Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact Ballito: 076 222 2946, Hillcrest: 084 577 7630 or Kloof: 083 259 2746 or visit clamberclub.com Gap Group Sensory play groups for moms and babies. Time: varies. Venue: 23 Levenhall Rd, Glenmore. Cost: first term R680, following terms R480. Contact: 071 885 4618 or heather.gap@gmail.com Little Me Moms and Tots play groups Fun workshops for toddlers 1–3,5 years old and moms. Time: varies. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R90. Contact: 084 821 6668 Toptots Children 8 weeks–4 years old learn and play. Time: varies. Venue: branches in Ballito, Durban North, Glenwood, Hillcrest, Westville, PMB Hayfields and Hilton. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, admin@toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za
support groups Mothers 2 Baby For new and old moms finding motherhood challenging. The group is run by a clinical psychologist. Moms and babies welcome. Time: 10am–11:30am, third Thursday of every month. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, Kassier Rd. Cost: free. Contact: 061 453 3718
how to help Durban and Coast SPCA They work to rescue abused or neglected animals, and help these animals find new homes. If you would like to adopt a pet, you can find them in Springfield Park, or you can help by making a donation. Contact: 031 579 6500 or visit spcadbn.org.za I Care This organisation helps street children by providing them with healthy life skills and a good work ethic. They need donations to help make their aims a reality or you can volunteer your time by doing activities with the children. Contact: 0861 470 047 or visit icare.co.za
don’t miss out! For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za. Information must be received by 27 February for the April issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za
magazine durban
March 2015
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my son, the planker It may be a fad or he may just be trying to get close to her. Either way, ANÉL LEWIS is happy to humour her son… for now.
Erin, Anél and Conor
y
ou know that craze that took social media by storm a few months ago, the one where people would lie face down, usually in an incongruous or unusual location? Hilarious! People lying in funny places, pretending to be planks. What could be funnier? Well, it’s not so hilarious at 3am when my two-year-old son, Conor, decides that my torso would be a fantastic “incongruous or unusual location” for him to try out his planking moves. Did I mention that Conor weighs 20kg, and has not yet quite mastered the art of planking with minimal movement? So it is like having an oversized bean bag doing “snow angel” repetitions, while lying across the length of your body. The first few nights I humoured him. It was just a fad, I told my husband Craig. He’s just trying to get close to me, I told myself. But night after night, a few hours before dawn, I would first hear the footsteps, and then feel the weight of my boy as he assumed the position. I decided to read up on my son’s antics. According to Wikipedia, plankers compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play. Planking
can also include “lying on a flat surface, or holding the body flat while it is supported in only some regions”. That explained why my bladder usually took the brunt of Conor’s nocturnal stunt. So the next night I thought I would shake things up a bit. I curled up into a ball so that he could not find a flat surface on which to position his body. But it seems I underestimated his commitment to the task, and by morning I was lying like a semi-squashed snail pinned down by Conor’s outstretched, planked form. I have to confess that I have since grown accustomed to waking up with Conor’s squishy, warm cheek pressed firmly against mine, his arm curled around my neck. In a few years’ time, the closest I will probably get to finding out about my son’s shenanigans – planking or otherwise – will be via Facebook. But I am also fervently hoping that he does not discover the Ice Bucket Challenge any time soon – at least, not before he can sleep a whole night in his own bedroom. Anél Lewis is reading up on sleep training techniques so that she can deter her son from trying out any more gymnastic moves on her before he hits the 30kg mark.
family marketplace
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March 2015
magazine durban
PHOTOGRAPH: Susie Leblond Photography
finishing touch
travel
pack light Here are some useful packing tips for families going away over the holidays. By TAMLYN VINCENT
h
oliday time often includes trips to see family or just to get away. And this means packing. I usually take as much as possible (who knows what you’ll need?), but this results in an over-stuffed bag, even for overnight stays. I’m even worse when I pack for my son, throwing in two warm and two cool outfits, just in case. It’s only when we get home that I realise we haven’t used half the clothes we’ve hauled along. So, to save space next time my family goes away on holiday, I go in search of packing tips.
best case Think about what sort of bags you need. If you’re going overseas, a suitcase may be best. If you’re only going for a few nights, or you’ll be carrying your luggage, go for a backpack or duffel bag. Get children their own bags, which they can pack and carry themselves. Not only will they learn some responsibility, it will also keep them excited.
PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com
technique There are different ways to pack your clothes: folding and rolling are both good options. Either way, pack shoes and heavy items in the corners of your case or bag. Heavier clothes like jeans go next, followed by lighter items. If your bag has wheels, pack shoes closest to the base with the wheels to help stabilise the bag.
choose wisely Take practical and versatile clothes and choose complementary colours, so you can mix and match outfits
instead of packing extra clothes you won’t use. Don’t overpack for scenarios that aren’t likely to occur. Choose clothes that are less likely to wrinkle, and that suit the weather at your destination. If it’s going to be cold, rather layer up instead of taking bulky jackets. And don’t pack double – if your partner has packed certain items, like a torch and spare batteries, there’s no need for you to also take these.
Take practical and versatile clothes and choose complementary colours, so you can mix and match outfits instead of packing extra clothes you won’t use. put it in plastic Packing clothes in plastic resealable bags ensures clothes are neat and easy to find. You can pack entire outfits this way, or keep tops or pants together. Children’s outfits can also go into resealable bags. Once the outfit is dirty, stick it back into the bag so that the rest of your children’s
clothes don’t get smelly. Also put anything that can leak into a plastic bag. In fact, if you’re travelling overseas, you should probably pack all of your toiletries in clear plastic bags. Take a few extra plastic bags, just in case.
easy access Pack raincoats in easily accessible spots, like a side pocket. Keep activities for children nearby, or in hand luggage, so you can get to them quickly. If you’re planning a long road trip, pack snacks for the car and keep essential items, like phone chargers, close at hand. If you’re stopping overnight along the way, pack separate smaller bags for everyone, and pack these last.
don’t forget • Torch (turn the batteries around when you pack it, so it doesn’t accidentally turn on) • Medicine and vitamins • Sunscreen • Electronics and chargers • First aid kit • Toiletries – in travel-sized bottles • Maps (or download the Google Maps app) • Bank cards (check with your bank that they’re open for international use) • Your passports, visas, driver’s license and copies of everything • Printouts of your travel plans • If you’re flying, take a photo of the contents of your bag, for insurance purposes