Child magazine | DBN November 2014 by Hunter House Publishing

D U R B A N â&#x20AC;&#x2122; S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

holiday care made easy are we raising spoilt brats?

fun

activities to bond with teenagers

the sound of music

motivating your child to practise

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November 2014

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Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

They say that families who play together, stay together.

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za Louise Topping • studio@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Lisa Waterloo • dbnsales@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

Lisa and Robyn in Elgin

s my children have grown from high-energy toddlers to high-maintenance teenagers, finding the fun can be tricky. My husband and I often have “brand building” meetings to brainstorm ways to make our brand as parents more attractive to our maturing children. In our most recent quest for coolness, we took my youngest, Robyn, and her friend, Jack, both soon-to-be teenagers, zip lining. We were staying in Elgin, a mere 45-minute

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drive from Cape Town. While the adults were content with bike rides and swimming with the dogs, the children yearned for more adventure. So we headed for the Hottentots Holland Nature Reserve, with scarves and beanies, but no real idea as to what we were getting ourselves into. Five hours later, we had conquered (or in my case, survived) 12 slides, some 320 metres long, a swing bridge over a double waterfall, and platforms as high as Table Mountain. If my brand value increased along with my adrenalin levels, I should be set for life. Connecting with your teenager has a lot to do with letting go as a parent, but still keeping them close and making sure that family time is fun time. With this in mind, we have rounded up some enriching ways to bond with your teenager (or soon to be) – see page 23. If you have half the fun we had, I guarantee a surge in your brand value too. Have fun this November.

Lisa Mc Namara Publisher

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November 2014

contents november 2014

23 upfront

health

3 a note from lisa

8 quicksilver mercury is poisonous.

5 over to you readers respond

features

Marina Zietsman finds out how hazardous it is in our everyday lives

regulars

10 spoilt brat syndrome Christina Castle warns about raising children with a false sense of entitlement

12 music to my ears the biggest challenge when teaching children to play a musical instrument is getting them to practise, says Donna Cobban

14 back to basics Catherine Janse van Rensburg and her family take a break from city life in the Klein Karoo

16 praiseworthy a child’s self-worth stems from meaningful praise. By Gary Koen

18 pin it Tamlyn Vincent discovers that Pinterest is a great educational tool for projects and research

20 something familiar, something new in her book, Make Five, Heleen Meyer gives inspiration on how to turn one simple ingredient into five mouth-watering dishes

22 club together Tamlyn Vincent compiles some ideas for parents to share the load of holiday care

6 pregnancy news – the vitamin A issue it’s essential to our diet, but pregnant women should take care not to overdose on Vitamin A, says Lucille Kemp

7 best for baby – public displays of affection Tamlyn Vincent looks at the contentious issue of breast-feeding in public spaces

9 dealing with difference – are you serious? Lauren Kirk-Cohen has Asperger’s, and here she gives advice about handling bullying

23 resource – reconnect with your teenager Tamlyn Vincent compiles a few ideas to inspire a new adventure with your teenager

25 what’s on in november 30 finishing touch it’s true, says Cassandra Shaw, children do say “the darndest things”

31 a good read for the whole family

classified ads 29 let’s party 30 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

November 2014

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

Accessorize accessorize.co.za

Eco-Punk Kids Clothing eco-punk.co.za

Ackermans ackermans.co.za

CJ Photography cjphotogroup.webs.com

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letters

your voice on childmag.co.za “guidance for parents of intellectually gifted children” My 7-year-old son struggles to concentrate. He does well when he puts his mind to something, but it would need to be a task that he really enjoys or he will get bored. His teacher says that he is very intelligent, but seriously lacks focus/concentration. Most days are a struggle and she is trying to find ways to “tap into his concentration”. She went on to say that there’s always something on his mind that pulls him away from what needs to be done in class; he’s always asking questions and wanting more information. She’s asked me to assist in helping him focus more, but I don’t even know where to start. Nuraan “jacked up” I would like to add this to your article on hijacking – have a tracker fitted so that in the horrible event that they get away with your child in the car, the car can be tracked and hopefully your child found before any harm comes to them. Cindy “why do people cheat?” My husband asked me to read this article. I had an affair more than eight years ago. I was 30, married for four years and we just had our first baby. My husband was a

good husband and did not deserve what I did. The pain, hurt and betrayal I have caused him is indescribable. He is trying to forgive me and we, only through this process, have discovered how we lived passed each other for so many years. I have tried to explain my actions based on my needs not being met, but I made the wrong decision. If there is anyone considering an affair, I plead with you not to do it. Speak to your partner. Anonymous “rethink recycling” Thank you for the article “rethink recycling” (September 2014). We are raising Generation Recycle and the best way we can change our recycling habits is to teach our children how to separate at the source. Take note of how much domestic refuse you put out before you start recycling. It could be as many as five bags. Some homes put out half a bag of refuse a week if they recycle paper, plastic, tins and cans and glass, as well as composting kitchen scraps. Imagine the difference we would make to landfills if we all put out less waste. Well done on a great article. Samantha

dearest grandpa and grandma After reading “golden oldies” in the October 2014 issue, I thought I’d share my story. Our only child

over to you mom’s little girl This is a big thank you for the article “raising an introvert” (October 2014). I am the mother of an introvert and it really worried me. I thought of taking her to modelling or drama lessons to drag her out of this shell, but your article has helped me realise she is just like me. I don’t interact easily and I don’t talk to kill time. She is her mother’s daughter. I urge all teachers to read this article. Anonymous

living with loss I recently became a statistic of miscarriage, one of the many women in the world that has lost a baby in utero at some point. Even though I was just over six weeks pregnant, it shook my world. After my son was born, I tried for years to conceive again. I felt cheated, deprived and angry, constantly questioning why I fell pregnant in the first instance if it was willed to be so short-lived. It was a little girl, and that knowledge made it virtually impossible to get over the loss. Until I read the letter from “anonymous” in your October 2014 issue entitled “the other side of miscarriage”. Only then did I realise how selfish I had been in mourning

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started Grade 1 this year, and it’s with dread that we save up for holiday care, because we have to work. Reluctant to split our small family for the first time, we never considered sending Tyler to stay with family over the school holidays. But come the October holidays we realised we had to “let go” and drove the 90km from Cape Town to Betty’s Bay to let him spend the week with Pinke, a name he has given his granddad since he was a toddler (no one knows why), and Grandma Sandy. We anxiously waited for a call to go and fetch him because “he’s not eating”, “he’s driving Pinke up the wall”, or “we didn’t know seven year olds could be sooooo busy”, or any other (legit) reason. But exactly the opposite has happened. Tyler and Pinke went fishing together and penguin watching, spotted whales, flew his kite and played pool with their own set of rules. He helped Gran Sandy in the kitchen and, to my surprise, he’s learnt to eat mushrooms, gem squash and prawns – things he’s always refused to touch. I think what sealed the deal for me was when I phoned him the first time, expecting to talk to a tearful little boy missing his parents. Not so! He sounded content. He even sounded more mature and “knowledgeable” about the world. Now we’re dreading that next time he won’t want to come back. Thanks to grandparents all over. Nicole

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

my loss, giving no thought to what the child might have had to endure had it survived the harsh side effects of the drugs prescribed to “save” her. And in “saving” her we were ironically also “killing” her. After reading this letter I realised that nature does indeed know what’s best for us sometimes. I no longer feel cheated or deprived. Ash

pay it forward To pay it forward is when someone does a good deed for you; instead of paying them back, pay it forward by doing a good deed for someone else. This simple phrase has often made me wonder: could it actually work? We always dig so deep and search so far and wide to try and make a difference in the world, that the simplest things go unnoticed. I saw your October 2014 issue’s theme is “dealing with difference” and I believe we should all try and make a difference. And it does not have to be profound. We don’t have to break the bank, or sacrifice precious family time or me-time. Just pay it forward. For every good thing that happens in your life, make a difference to three other people or causes and see that as pay back – or pay forward, in this case.

You can call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Give someone a book that has made a huge impact on your life. You can educate yourself on a concept or a disorder that has up to now been Greek to you, and in doing so learn patience, compassion and teach yourself to understand – then spread the word next time you are in a situation where a level head and a bit of knowledge can diffuse a possibly volatile situation. Or pay it forward where someone has their whole life consumed by a debilitating disease or “difference”, and they just need someone to show them support and a bit of understanding. I’m also a working parent trying to keep up with this ever-changing world, but I’m going to try and remember those three words the next time I’m rushing from point A to B: pay it forward. It won’t always be easy, but I’ll try. Annie subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions. To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

November 2014

pregnancy news

the vitamin A issue Vitamin A is an essential nutrient, but should be treated with caution by women of child-bearing age. LUCILLE KEMP

where to find it Vitamin A comes from animal sources as retinol, such as in eggs, dairy, liver, and kidney and fish liver oils. It also comes from plant sources such as orange and yellow vegetables and fruit, and dark-green leafy vegetables, mainly as betacarotene. As it is extremely difficult to overdose on betacarotene from natural sources, these fruit and vegetables are recommended for pregnant women.

itamin A is essential for vision, cell reproduction, immunity and the formation of some hormones. It also helps promote bone growth, tooth development, and helps maintain healthy skin, hair and mucous membranes. It has shown to be an effective defence against measles, and is essential for the healthy development of the foetus. “However, as vitamin A is a fat-soluble vitamin it can easily cross the placenta, so it is essential that pregnant women get the right amount of the vitamin as large doses may be toxic for the baby and can cause abnormalities,” says Cape Town gynaecologist Dr Joy Robinson.

November 2014

when to be cautious As a woman trying to conceive, your intake of vitamin A should be limited in a few ways. “The recommendation for vitamin A in pre-pregnancy and the first eight to 10 weeks of pregnancy should not exceed 6000IUs of vitamin A from supplements, fortified foods and animal sources. After this time 6000–10000IUs are considered optimal,” says Robinson. Supplements containing up to 5000IUs of betacarotene are fine but it is advisable to avoid pre-pregnancy and pregnancy vitamin supplements that contain the retinol form of the vitamin. Foods to be avoided, or eaten not more than once a week, include liver, fish liver oil and pâté. As it is generally unethical to run clinical trials on pregnant women, qualified skincare therapist Lusinda Burch says there is a certain grey area around the safety of using skincare

products containing vitamin A, even if the concentrations are low. If there is a product you want to use that you’re not sure about, talk to your doctor. Products to vet include stretch mark prevention formulas and immune boosters, which may contain vitamin A, as well as some cold and flu formulas, hair, skin and nail formulas, and eye-health preparations. Robinson points out that these are often termed “natural” or “homeopathic”, but it’s important to remember that medicine available without a prescription doesn’t necessarily mean it is without harmful side effects. Many health professionals will tell you to avoid over-the-counter medication during pregnancy and to consult your doctor for your health needs. The acne medication Roaccutane and its generics should be avoided for three months before conception, because the likelihood of birth defects is extremely high. While there are dangers in getting too much vitamin A, it’s important to guard against vitamin A deficiency. Aside from dry skin, poor bone growth and weak tooth enamel, vitamin A deficiency can affect eyesight. While deficiency is unlikely in a healthy population, it is not impossible. “Some women have faddish or inadequate diets and may develop significant deficiencies of vitamin A and other essential nutrients. Robinson therefore recommends a dietary middle-ground.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

learns more from a gynaecologist.

best for baby

public displays of affection Wide acceptance of breast-feeding in public is essential if we want what is best for moms and their babies. By TAMLYN VINCENT

ou may have seen the sign on social media, the one outside a UK café that reads: “Breast-feeding Mums: Pop in and have a free cup of tea if you need a pit stop.” Imagine if all public venues were this accommodating of women trying to do the best for their babies. Sadly, they’re not. The reality is that many people barely tolerate or openly disdain women for breast-feeding in public places. Anelle Greyling, a lactation consultant from the Panorama Breastfeeding Clinic in Cape Town thinks that people from western cultures see breasts as sexual objects and because of that view public breast-feeding as inappropriate. Others see breast-feeding as a private affair that should be done at home, says Ana Frawley, a lactation consultant in Joburg. Esmé Nel, from La Leche League and a lactation consultant, says much of this negativity stems from what people think about breast-feeding, rather than what they know.

breast is best

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

Breast-feeding has health benefits for both moms and babies, from fewer infections during infancy to decreasing the risk of breast cancer for moms. Nel says that babies who are breast-fed continue to receive immunities, vitamins and enzymes as long as they’re breast-feeding. There are also benefits for moms who breast-feed in public, most of which relates to convenience. They can feed their babies as soon as they’re hungry, and breast-feeding can help to soothe a tired or fussy child. A hungry baby needs to eat and breast-feeding is a natural, normal way to feed. Frawley points out that as adults, we are quite comfortable eating in public, and she sees breast-feeding in public as no different. She adds that when women breast-feed, they usually do so

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inconspicuously, with their breasts concealed. So there is no reason for breast-feeding moms to be confined to their homes or working moms to stop breast-feeding. Rather, what needs to change is public opinion. Frawley suggests that breast-feeding should be seen more in public, whether through posters or moms breast-feeding, so people become more comfortable with it. The Basic Conditions of Employment Act says breast-feeding employees should be given two 30-minute breaks a day to breast-feed or express milk. They should also be able to do this in a designated room, not the toilet. In public, designated rooms may help lead to awareness and acceptance, but experts agree that women should be able to breast-feed anywhere. After all, it’s a baby’s constitutional right.

discrete feeding • P ractise in front of the mirror at home first so you know how to do it easily without exposing yourself. • Baby slings are easily adjustable and work well. Alternatively, use a breast-feeding apron, your scarf or a blanket to cover yourself. But if you’re using a blanket, it may get hot for the baby. • Wear the right clothes. Choose nursing bras that can be unfastened with one hand. Buy or make your own shirts with hidden slits or panels. Wear a loose shirt that you can lift up easily, or that unbuttons from the bottom. • Sit near a wall or corner or, if possible, choose a booth at a restaurant. • Look out for your baby’s cues and feed him before he starts to cry and fuss.

November 2014

health

quicksilver

Mercury is toxic, but what are the chances of being poisoned?

he element mercury, aptly named quicksilver, is impressive in that it only starts boiling at 356,7C, however all of its compounds are toxic. Although mercury poisoning can cause various symptoms, the most severe damage is to the brain and nervous system, and in some cases, results in death.

MARINA ZIETSMAN does some digging. to clean up a mercury spill, visit epa.gov/ hg/spills/#whatnever. Dental fillings (or amalgams) also contain elemental mercury. Wium says the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) reviewed the best available scientific evidence to determine whether the low levels of mercury vapour associated with dental fillings were a cause for concern.

“They concluded that it is safe for use in adults and children older than six,” says Wium. “The amount of mercury measured in people with dental amalgam fillings was well below the levels associated with adverse health effects.” Again, removing dental amalgam fillings may be problematic as you will be exposed to mercury vapours from the heat of the drilling process.

it’s elementary, my dear Elemental mercury is mainly found in thermometers, barometers and fluorescent light bulbs because of its high density and high rate of thermal expansion that is fairly constant over a wide temperature range. The danger occurs when one of these gadgets break, causing a mercury spill. Cherylynn Wium, a medical scientist at the Tygerberg Poison Information Centre says, “[Reports of] severe toxicity is unusual.” However, problems arise when mercury comes into contact with heat, especially in an enclosed space. “Never use a vacuum cleaner to suck up the mercury. The heat from the vacuum cleaner will cause mercury vapours and increase inhalation exposure,” says Wium. For a guide on how

November 2014

mercurochrome contains inorganic mercury and is still available in South Africa. It has been banned in several countries due to fears of potential mercury poisoning.

mercury and vaccines Thiomersal is a mercury-containing organic compound used for decades as a preservative in numerous drugs, including vaccines. It prevents the growth of dangerous microbes. Extensive research has now made it possible for manufacturers to create safe vaccines without thiomersal. “None of the flu vaccines currently available in South Africa have thiomersal in them,” says Lee Baker, a medicine information pharmacist. “That said, thiomersal contains ethylmercury and not methylmercury, which is the mercury that can accumulate in the body.”

a fishy tale The most common source of methylmercury, a type of organic mercury, is fish. “Lowlevel dietary exposure to organic mercury does occur, but toxicity is rare,” says Wium. She says a lot of research has been done on methylmercury concentration in fish, especially in Alaska and Japan where fish is an essential part of the diet. “Trace amounts of methylmercury found in fish, even in large consumption, have not been associated with cognitive delays or other neurologic toxicity,” says Wium. According to the FDA, fish and shellfish are an important part of a healthy diet. They do warn, however, that some fish and shellfish contain higher levels of mercury that may harm an unborn baby or a young child’s developing nervous system. Women who want to fall pregnant, pregnant women, nursing mothers and young children should avoid certain fish and only eat seafood that is low in mercury, such as anchovies, hake, sardines and whitefish. Mercury levels in tuna differ depending on where the tuna was caught.

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dealing with difference

are you

serious? Children on the autism spectrum are often bullied at school. LAUREN KIRK-COHEN, who has Asperger’s, says the answer lies in building the self-confidence of these children.

pull up to the boom and wind down my window. “I’m going to tutor a student in the library; is it okay if I park here?” I ask the security guard. “It costs fifty rand.” Uncertain pause. “Are you serious?” “Yes, it’s fifty rand.” “Oh… ok, I’d rather park outside then.” “No, I was joking,” he says angrily, glaring at me and stalking away. I negotiate my way into the parking bay, confused. I thought he was joking, but how could I be sure? I didn’t want to park and end up with my wheel clamped for not paying. I asked if he was serious, and he said yes. Why would he lie? Why would he get angry at me for believing his lie? As someone with Asperger’s syndrome, this is the kind of thing I frequently struggle with. My family and friends all know me well. When I’m not sure if they’re joking, I’ll ask if they’re serious, and they will tell me honestly whether they are or not. It usually comes with a lot of good-natured laughing and joking. I was only diagnosed when I was 16, but of course, I’d had Asperger’s my whole life, even though no one identified it for what it was until then. I’d developed my own ways of coping with it. Other children aren’t as fortunate.

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

social strugglers Most people on the autism spectrum struggle socially. As Asperger’s is on the spectrum, many people with the disorder struggle with the same issues as people with autism. According to Simon Baron-Cohen, professor of developmental psychopathology at the University of Cambridge, there are two main differences between people with Asperger’s and those with autism. People with autism often have a lower than average IQ, while people with Asperger’s have an average to above-average IQ. The second difference is that people with autism often experience a delay in learning how to speak, while people with Asperger’s don’t. Things like not understanding when someone is joking, picking up social cues and knowing how to behave appropriately in certain situations often alienate them from other children. People with Asperger’s and autism often lack theory of mind, which is defined as the ability to accept that other people have opinions different to them. This magazine durban

makes interacting with others much more difficult than it is for neurotypical people. Many of them are bullied in school due to ignorance from others about their condition. I guess I’m lucky; I just don’t care what people think of me, and I’m generally oblivious to their criticisms. I think people did try to bully me at school, but while I would notice being punched, the sidelong looks and sneers went right past me. I had a few close friends in high school, and I coped fine. Children can be mean, and while teachers may attempt to control bullying, I don’t think they can completely eradicate it. As far as I know, there is only one defence, which comes naturally to me: ignore them. What does it really matter what people think of you? Who cares if they think you’re strange? I focused on finding a few people I liked and trusted, people who understood me. I’ve been out of school for over five years, but some of my friends from high school are still my closest friends.

The trick is to help your child change their mind-set. Fighting back isn’t going to help anything; we just need to change the way we think about bullying. If they learn how to deal with it in school, it will be an invaluable skill for later life. in pursuit of happiness Instead of focusing on what makes us miserable, it makes more sense to focus on what makes us happy. For example: my English teacher loves my writing and always gives me great marks for it. I’m really improving at maths. I’ve reached out to a girl or boy in my class, they’re really nice and I think I could be friends with them. Our netball team won the game last week. I’m working on an exciting new project. The trick is to help your child change their mind-set. Fighting back isn’t going to help anything; we just need to change the way we think about it. Bullying is a really hard

thing to deal with, but it is something many people – and not just people on the spectrum – have to deal with all their lives. If they learn how to deal with it in school, it will be an invaluable skill for later life, as well as make their school experience more pleasant. For many people on the spectrum, the workplace can feel like school all over again, as the bullying often continues there. So how can parents help children deal with bullying? I know I am good at maths; I always have been. If someone tells me I’m terrible at maths, I’ll just laugh at them and move on. However, I am rather insecure about my body. If someone tells me I’m fat and ugly, I will be terribly upset. The difference is in my self-confidence. If you bring up your children to have confidence in themselves, to know their own worth, mean words will just slide off them. Give them positive affirmations when they have done well; and when they do badly at something, give them constructive criticism. Be encouraging; rather than focusing on what they’ve done wrong, show them how to get it right in future. Tell them that you love them and you know they can do it. Many of the things that neurotypical people take for granted can completely rattle people on the spectrum. Most children learn to read facial expressions and pick up social cues as they develop. Often, children with autism or Asperger’s do not. Spend time teaching them things like that, showing them methods of working out a world they do not understand. When they feel like they can cope better in normal society, they will naturally feel more confident in themselves. While it is generally harder for people on the spectrum to cope with everyday life – particularly in school – it is possible. There are many professionals who specialise in helping people on the spectrum, as well as online resources giving tips on how best to help your child. The most important thing is to make sure that no matter how much external circumstances change, they are confident enough in themselves to know they can deal with it.

resource National Autism Resources – visit nationalautismresources.com

November 2014

parenting

spoilt brat syndrome CHRISTINA CASTLE wonders if we’re raising children with a sense of false entitlement and admits she may have one or two brats on her hands.

shower with love, not gifts We live in a world of high consumption. We shop, spend and “have to have”. We reward ourselves with gifts and gadgets “because we can”. And the same goes for our children. With the pace of our daily lives, we are not often available to our children. We satisfy our own guilt of absence by showering them with things. It’s all too easy to compensate by throwing a bit of money at the problem. “Find the time to spend with your child. Schedule it in. The value of knowing that your child comes first in your life is the greatest gift you can give him,” says Mayer.

November 2014

While many children aspire to being “rich”, wealth requires hard work. This can be introduced from an early age. Goalsetting is an important part of the process. So, when my son is busy eyeing out a new skateboard and I feel tempted to just buy it for him, I need to think again. While he may be deserving of the skateboard, he is not entitled to it. If he wants it, he works for it. And let him learn the reality of, and reward for, hard work. He will value it more and ultimately, himself more.

value systems

Unfortunately, many families have lost touch with reality and are breeding children who believe the world owes them a living. pocket money should be earned

encourage the entrepreneur

Far too often we hand over pocket money to our children and expect nothing in return. This breeds a sense of expectation. It becomes a hand-out. Children need to know they have certain responsibilities in a family and a household, regardless of financial reward. That said, by being rewarded with pocket money our children will be exposed to the concept of working for money. It is often the only place our children have the opportunity to learn this. However, many South African households enjoy the luxury of domestic help, which often means there is little left for our children to do around the house. But there are loads of simple chores they can be taking on from an early age. Here are a few (there are millions more): • Make their beds • Clean their rooms • Unload the dishwasher • Take out the rubbish • Feed the pets • Pick up the dog poo • Fold the socks • Polish shoes

My brother used to steal avocados from our neighbour’s garden and then sell them to the corner shop. He made a killing, until our neighbour caught him halfway up their tree and called the police. Not long after that he spent his afternoons after school retrieving lost golf balls at the local golf course and then selling them back to the golfers who had lost them in the first place. Let’s just say he was industrious. And I think it’s a good trait. “Being paid for work outside of the family environment teaches our children responsibility in a real life situation,” says Mayer. “They will value that experience enormously, not to mention build confidence, independence, pride and selfworth, which is priceless.” There are many legal ways our children can earn a buck around the neighbourhood from an early age, such as: • Car washing • Dog walking • Babysitting • Lawn mowing • Cooking and baking • Growing and selling vegetables

My children are growing up in an elite, privileged community. Holiday houses, expensive cars and overseas trips are the norm more than the exception. So when my 17 year old asks for a plane for his eighteenth birthday, chances are, one of his mates is actually getting a plane for his birthday (and a car, of course). While we are certainly in no income bracket to be buying our children planes or cars when they turn 18, the pressure is on to keep up with the Joneses. “Unfortunately, children identify their own self-worth by what they do or don’t have. And as much as this is a tough lesson to learn, buying into this branded charade of entitlement merely perpetuates this false sense of worth,” says Mayer. “Spoil them with reality. Don’t spoil them with stuff. Talk freely as a family about what you can and can’t afford. Establish ‘provisioning’ within the value system of your family. And don’t be dictated to by the entitled peers your children may be at school with. They need to be aware of what is real beyond the school gate, in the greater community. Only then will they be able to shift that sense of entitlement to a sense of gratitude.”

walk the talk Ultimately, our children will do as we do. If we are replacing iPads at every upgrade opportunity, chances are our children will end up doing the same. We are breeding a culture of consumers. Value what you have. Our children will end up doing the same. And so I will walk the talk. From today, the boys will be earning every cent of their pocket money. I will be sending them over the neighbour’s fence to steal lemons (I’ll keep a lookout) and both can start saving for whatever mode of transport they desire. magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

y mother would be horrified by the conversation I recently had with my 17-year-old son. It went something like this: “Mom, instead of buying me a car when I turn 18, can you rather buy me a plane?” he asked. Actually, it was more like an announcement. “What makes you think you are even getting a car when you turn 18?” I responded. “Just a small plane,” he added, detecting the lambasting he was about to receive. I think he thought he was compromising by asking for a small one. And so I let rip with one of those Oscar-winning “when I was your age” performances that my mother delivered every time I asked for an increase in pocket money and would be left standing there feeling guilty and oh so spoilt. I am sure she rehearsed it daily just for moments like these. But my soliloquy did not have the same effect on my son. Instead, he rolled his eyes, popped his earphones in and turned up the volume of his iPod. Brat, I thought. He’s going to pay for that. The only flying machine, or vehicle for that matter, he’ll be receiving on his eighteenth birthday will be made of Lego (if he’s lucky). “Children should be brought up to be deserving but not entitled,” says Victoria Mayer, a clinical psychologist based in Cape Town. “Unfortunately, many families have lost touch with reality and are breeding children who believe the world owes them a living. It’s a bit of a wake-up call and sometimes a little too late when they realise it doesn’t.”

magazine durban

November 2014

your child’s life

music

to my ears It’s one thing to get your child excited about learning to play an instrument, but the challenge is motivating them to practise. DONNA COBBAN

shares some lessons learnt the hard way.

round the age of 13, I came to the conclusion that deftly plucking away at the strings of a classical guitar would bolster my teenage self and add an element of intrigue. I imagined sitting around campfires, one side of my face strategically lit up by the glowing embers as I channelled Joni Mitchell through the dying light. With this very personal and ego-driven agenda in mind, I went forth and banged loudly on the parental wall of resistance... many months of perpetual banging met with eventual success and a brand-new six-string was mine. My relationship with that guitar lasted for a pain-filled six months. I refused to practise, I refused to cut my elegantly long nails, my teacher was fed up and my parents were fed up. The instrument gathered dust and was eventually sold. I lived with a twinge of regret... until many

thinking some internal motivation would spring forth. I was wrong. We survived four months of lessons and returned the hired instrument. While my intentions may have been admirable, my modus operandi could certainly have done with some fine-tuning.

choosing an instrument Dr Victoria Williamson, a UK-based music psychologist and author, suggests you ask yourself what sounds your child enjoys hearing – what type of music gets them dancing? Find out what colour, shape and feel of an instrument they get excited about. She says that while these may seem like trivial choices, giving a child a choice can have a big impact. This idea is reiterated by Alta van As, head of the arts division at the Wits School of Education who shares my belief in the power of YouTube, except her agenda

years later when my own child arrived, giving me the opportunity to right those wrongs. Or so I thought. YouTube was our inspiration, with pint-sized prodigies aplenty to motivate the uninitiated five year old. I decided that he should learn to play the violin, so I hired a wee wooden one along with a retired Austrian teacher. The combination simply could not fail. Just one lesson in and I’d learnt that in order for a five year old to learn to play the violin, the mother must too, so I dutifully filmed the end of each lesson and returned home to repeat it every evening. Each week started in high spirits with the two of us chanting: “Dr Suzuki says do not be lazy, practise and practise until you go crazy!” It was the practise part that tripped me up. I hoped my son would seize the moment, swing bow towards string and maintain a daily routine. He resisted and I was a fool not to have a basket of bribes at hand. It was our downfall, me

November 2014

is far more sensible and pragmatic. She suggests you show your child a variety of instruments being played (especially by young children) and use this to help them with the decision-making process. “Many teachers prefer that learners start with the recorder,” says Van As. “Learning to read and play on this uncomplicated little instrument helps with the understanding of pitch, note values and phrasing.” This knowledge can easily be carried across a range of instruments. Niki Sampson, a retired music teacher, is a fan of the ukulele for beginners. “The instrument is excellent for learning basic chords, theory of harmony and rhythm,” she says. In addition, “...it is a very suitable communal instrument, to accompany singing, or to play along with a guitar.” For exactly these reasons, the ukulele has been used as a classroom instrument in countries where quality school music is a priority (Canada is one example). magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

I hoped my son would seize the moment, swing bow towards string and maintain a daily routine. He resisted and I was a fool not to have a basket of bribes at hand.

motivation and practise While researching, it soon became evident that it is a rare child who willingly moves towards their instrument for the required period of practise time every day. I was intrigued every morning when I heard the tinkering of scales from our neighbour’s house. How did they do it? I soon learnt that there was a highly efficient Minecraft/ piano exchange programme in place... the more time spent at the piano meant more time on Minecraft. Another parent I spoke to became so fed up with trying to coerce her child towards practising that she ended up simply leaving a few coins on top of the piano. “Practise for the required time and you are free to remove the coins” was the message. However, not all children need this external motivation. Another mother I spoke to has a daughter who continues on the path towards piano playing perfection based on a sense of internal motivation – she sees herself progressing and puts in the required effort. Niki Sampson’s ideas on motivation and practise are perhaps the hardest to hear: “Ideally,” she says, “parents should play their own instruments at home to

motivate their children to practise.” A twinge of regret returns. However, failing this she suggests playing recordings of classical music at certain times of the day, and engaging with them as a family. “Another motivating factor,” she says, “is to take young musicians to live performances.” I swiftly heeded her advice and we headed off to listen to a talented youth orchestra. Dvorak’s Carnival Overture was up first and my six year old sat riveted to his seat. Schumann’s Cello Concerto in A minor, Op.129 followed and disaster struck. Gone was the brass, no clashing drums, no ever-ready triangle. There was no suspense and action. My son couldn’t wait to leave.

choosing a teacher Van As suggests that you look for a teacher “who makes her children fall in love with music”. In addition, she advises that you look for learner progress stories. “A record of success with other young children speaks volumes about a teacher.” Niki believes that a personal teacher is vital, especially for beginners. “This helps to establish the correct physical habits and principles of sound musicianship.”

piano tips

resources

• I f your child is learning the piano, get it tuned regularly – never let a child practise on a piano that is out of tune or has a poor sound quality. • If you can’t afford a good piano, let your child learn to play a touch-sensitive electronic or digital keyboard or piano. This has the advantage of a headphone facility for silent practise. Electronic keyboards with a variety of sounds are also favoured by those children who like to feel technologically up to date. Courtesy of Niki Sampson

books • The Right Instrument for Your Child by Atarah Ben Tovim and Douglas Boyd (Orion Publishing) • You Are the Music by Victoria Williamson (Icon Books) YouTube • Full length – Britten: The Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra • How to Play Ukulele by Jake Shimabukuro (Hawaiian-born, world-class ukulele player) • Snowball the Dancing Cockatoo (for anyone who does not believe in the power of music) iPad apps • Karajan • Guitar Lab • PianoMan Courtesy of Niki Sampson

magazine durban

November 2014

getaway

back to basics Sometimes less is best. CATHERINE JANSE VAN RENSBURG tells how her family enjoyed the simpler things in life during their relaxing break in Vanwyksdorp.

November 2014

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PHOTOGRAPHS: CATHERINE JANSE VAN RENSBURG / shutterstock.com

here’s something magical that happens as you leave orchard. We also went to visit another neighbour’s batch of Cape Town, drive through the mountains and on chicks and baby goats. It was around these animals that towards Route 62 – Klein Karoo country. The air I noticed just how citified my children are, watching their becomes cleaner and the landscape brighter. The mountains country counterparts fearlessly pick up bleating baby goats, are bold, the sky wild, the road ongoing, the landscape while they initially looked on in terror. Not keen to miss the Picking raspberries is just one of rugged, the fruit trees promising and the wide open spaces fun, they soon adapted and it was difficult to tear them away the many activities Nina and Arden freeing. For my husband and me and our two children, Arden from the animals when we left. enjoyed on the smallholding (4) and Nina (2), this five-hour drive, partly on dirt roads, to One of my favourite things about the weekend was the middle of nowhere, was to visit my parents on their selfthe self-sufficiency that so much space gave my children. sufficient, off-the-grid, organic-everything smallholding just They would disappear into the garden for hours, happily outside Vanwyksdorp. collecting, digging, making and exploring. Arden loves Vanwyksdorp was a once thriving Karoo town in the days digging in sand, something that I try to restrict to his sandpit of the ostrich boom. Today, it has only a big old church and at home, to preserve my flower beds. On the farm, however, school, revealing its days of former glory. It is home to a where manicured beds are not an issue, the children could small community of people eager to get away from the city be left to do their thing. and back to country living. Everyone has their own vegetable My mom found a tortoise the day before we arrived, patch, a few apricot trees and small-town idiosyncrasies. and kept it in her vegetable garden for the children to see. My parents live on a smallholding affectionately named The tortoise got fed and doted on (much to his displeasure) Kleinplasie, just outside this quaint town. They grow enough and then very quickly made his escape when we left the food to feed a small army, with every type of fruit and gate open. The children found an abandoned bird’s nest, nut tree you can think of and a beautiful, big, well-tended porcupine quills, loads of animal tracks, an ants’ nest and At Kleinplasie, every fruit and nut you can think of is grown vegetable garden. There’s also a reservoir for irrigation water an empty baby tortoise shell. These were all great teaching (and swimming), and a solar geyser and solar panels on the moments and helped open my children’s eyes to the simple roof, which power everything from lights to laptops. On an intricacy of the outdoor world around them. overcast day, they heat bath water over the woodstove. And Arden carried the baby tortoise shell around most of the don’t let me forget to mention, there’s a long drop a little walk from the house – a room morning and then brought it up to the house. We were just getting ready to sit down to a with a most beautiful view of the veld. lunch of home-made pasta and salad from the garden, when he screamed and dropped It was with great excitement that Arden counted down the sleeps until we left for the shell. A rain spider the size of my hand had decided the empty tortoise shell was no Granny’s house. We stopped halfway at a fruit and nut shop to stock up on treats, which longer a safe home and made his great escape. The spider jumped into Nina’s lunch, along with music and I-spy helped us survive the long drive. and in the chaos that followed, my brave mother, armed with an empty yoghurt container Vanwyksdorp is full of characters, each fulfilling a role in the community. There’s and spoon, caught and released the frightened arachnid. Arden delighted in telling his Sharon who runs the only restaurant, which is only open on Friday night and you can only oblivious little sister that she was in fact eating spider food. This didn’t seem to worry her order pizza. There’s Gary the potter and Pandora the animal activist. Then there’s Charles, in the slightest and she finished her pasta. Wildlife is all around in the countryside and who has two cows and is the only supplier of cheese and yoghurt in town. I took Arden keeping mice out of the pantry, bats out of the attic and snakes out of the garage is a very and Nina to meet his cows, noble beasts that spend their days eating grass in an apricot real, full-time job.

Arden shows off the “champion” onion he picked Arden got to pick his own apricots

I don’t pack many toys when we go away on holiday, which makes packing easier, but also gives my children space to explore and enjoy the new things that aren’t at home. With an imagination and some creativity, there are always things to play with, even if it means using kitchen utensils and containers to set up a restaurant, and serving leaf soup and chocolate mud pies under the trees. Floating on my back in the dam, watching high clouds sail across the clear blue sky and feeling the warm Karoo sun, I could feel myself unwind and adjust to the different pace of life. The silence interrupted only by the sound of my children’s chattering voices and the distant bleating of goats was surprisingly relaxing. With all the swimming, walking, exploring, sun, fresh air and healthy food, the children were usually exhausted well before bedtime. In the evening, with the children tucked into their bed and a few lamps burning, we sat on the stoep sipping soetwyn (a Klein Karoo speciality), listening to the crickets, watching the stars come out and the Karoo night sky reveal its splendour. Arden was always up at the crack of dawn with the birds… and my parents, who by the time I woke at 8am, had already been working in the garden for hours. Arden was so eager to get to the garden that he left us to sleep in peace and joined my mom to pick apricots and youngberries. I’m usually very aware of my children’s whereabouts at home, even in my own garden. I found that being in the country and away from lots of people, I was able to relax and let go of my children more than usual. My mom makes bread every day, by grinding wheat in her stone mill and then baking a loaf in the solar oven. For breakfast the children had a change from their normal porridge and ate what we had – fruit salad and drop scones – while we sat around the table cracking almond and pecan nuts from the garden – something that appealed to the children’s foraging instincts. Between lunch and supper, we had more fruit than I usually eat in a week at home. I offered the children everything we ate and encouraged them to at least try new things. They coped well with the different food and when they were not keen,

Nina helps pick fruit to be bottled, dried and juiced on the smallholding

magazine durban

Arden and Nina explore the big vegetable garden at Kleinplasie

there was always home-made bread to fall back on. My parents bottle, dry and juice a lot of the fruit and have a pantry brimming with supplies for the year. We specially chose to go to Kleinplasie over a long weekend that coincided with the Vanwyksdorp Festival. Now, when I say “festival”, bear in mind there were only about 100 people there. This included a Saturday morning market and an evening braai and dance. At the market a group of local children danced a reel in the traditional Karoo Khoikhoi style, which my brood found fascinating. We found a stall selling home-made teddy bears for next to nothing and my husband tucked into the vetkoek and mince, something he needed after all that fruit and veg. The Saturday evening braai and langarm sokkie was in a shed and something out of a movie. We took our children along with us to the dance and after a failed attempt to get them to sleep (what were we thinking?), ended up dancing with them. It was a special evening and something that we wouldn’t do at home, with our network of babysitters and bedtimes. It’s great changing the rules when you are on holiday and letting children experience things out of their norm. Bath time was another different experience. With the water being solar heated, we all had to shower one after another, before the tank refilled with cold water. It also had to be in the evening, which for someone who’s day doesn’t begin until she’s washed her hair, took some getting used to. “Showering” at Kleinplasie means washing from a big bucket with a jug. It’s amazing how effective (and what a huge water saving) this can be. For the children, bathing was in the big laundry sinks, which they thought was fabulous. I want to bring them up with a sense of adventure, an appreciation for different ways of doing things and the ability to adapt and cope in changing situations. Our weekend away in the country was a special family memory-making time; a window into another world and an opportunity to do things differently.

November 2014

parenting

praiseworthy GARY KOEN explains how parents can make their praise meaningful.

ne of the most important things a child needs is a relationship with someone who cares about them, who they trust and who will tell them the truth. A relationship like this does not drop out of the sky. It takes years to build. In the early stage of your child’s life, your main role is to manage, soothe, comfort and reassure this bundle with its gasping, gurgling, agitated, ever-present needs. As they grow older, your focus will gradually change. Each time they reach a developmental milestone or display a sense of independence, you’ll naturally respond with applause and compliments. Every incident of self expression, every creative moment, and every act of kindness, self-respect and assertiveness, will be welcomed and praised, which serves to deepen and strengthen the bond between parent and child. But perhaps the real purpose of our praise is to encourage our children to get to know themselves and to like who they are so that one day they will be able to look after themselves properly. The essence of our praise, therefore, should be directed at our children’s efforts at self-improvement. After all, we want them to continue exploring their world, to enjoy newfound abilities and sensations because ultimately we want them to gain the satisfaction that comes from being self-sufficient. But it’s vitally important that our children understand that while we may praise their achievements, what we are really trying to instil in them is the understanding that growing and learning is a process, which will continue throughout their lives. Briefly put, the purpose of praise is to help our children grow, but it does need to be authentic.

November 2014

feet on the ground Unfortunately, in our highly competitive world children are often taught that being proud of who they are means they need to be better than others. Instead of encouraging growth, this can have the opposite effect. Being the best little cricketer or ballet dancer or artist in the class may be commendable, but it doesn’t make them better people than everyone else. Children who are constantly trying to be better than everyone else inevitably lose sight of who they really are. Rather than getting to know themselves better, they end up moving further and further away from their true selves.

Children who are constantly trying to be better than everyone else inevitably lose sight of who they really are. Praising your child does not mean worshiping them. As previously mentioned, children need a relationship with someone they trust, so it’s the parents’ responsibility to constantly restore balance and humility in the lives of their little over-achievers. While high standards and goal-setting are admirable qualities, it’s vital that they don’t become crippling, otherwise the only time a child will feel good about themselves is when they are the best at something.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

We’re not doing our children any favours by dishing out empty praise.

meaningful praise We need to be constantly aware that there is a subtle distinction between praising our children for what they do as opposed to praising them for who they are. Talents alone are not enough. The real value of being good at something is only felt if these achievements are integrated and used to enhance the entirety of a person’s life. So, while achieving goals are admirable and important, the real praise should be aimed at the way in which our children achieve their goals. Not only will this ensure that your praise of them remains truly meaningful, it will also ensure that the level of trust that exists in your relationship will strengthen and grow. Honest, consistent praise will help your child trust that you genuinely want the best for them; one-sided, over-inflated praise may end up causing them to doubt not only themselves, but also the trust they have in you. Children thrive on praise, just like adults do. False praise, however, will merely confuse and distort a child’s sense of who they are. For this reason, praise should not be dispensed like flyers at traffic lights. Simply praising everything our children do, without discriminating between a good effort and a poor one, will inevitably erode the true value of our praise. Effusive, undiluted praise is of little value to a child if they cannot connect what is being said to how they actually feel. When it becomes obvious to children that their parents don’t really notice what they are doing nor appear to care, they may regard their efforts as futile and meaningless.

in praise of teachers Parents may hold the key to building (or breaking) a child’s self-esteem, but there are other people who may also significantly influence a child’s life. It could be older siblings, cousins, aunts and friends. Their teachers, however, will arguably have the greatest influence on them apart from their parents. They occupy a powerful place in the expanding world of a growing child and have the opportunity to make a unique contribution to that child’s life. Children tend to adore their teachers and will often go out of their way to please them, to earn their respect and to make them proud. Praise from a teacher can take a very special place in the self-esteem of a child because they automatically feel that they have genuinely earned it. Teachers can complement the role of the parent in a child’s life, but they can also compensate for any gaps left by a parent. The child who feels they have been heard and properly understood by their teacher will immediately feel more whole. Praise from their teacher that is balanced, honest and encouraging can have a lasting effect on a child’s self-worth.

magazine durban

November 2014

education

pin it Pinterest is fast becoming the go-to site for ideas and inspiration. TAMLYN VINCENT looks at how it can also be used as an educational tool.

id you know that sea pigs are real? Or that there are creatures called water bears, which apparently are virtually indestructible? Neither did I until my son, Hayden, asked if we could search for them on Pinterest. Pinterest is one of the fastest growing content sharing sites, with over 70 million users in July 2013. The site allows users, or pinners, to pin visuals onto boards in their profile. You can also follow other pinners, search for pins and boards, and like or comment on pins. Pinterest was built as a place to find the things that inspire people, so the number and variety of pins and subjects are seemingly endless. When I first heard of the site, I laughed it off as a waste of time. But when I eventually signed up, I began to understand its value. I could pin ideas for the home or kitchen, for parties, lunchbox inspiration and, perhaps my favourite, for craft ideas and activities to do with my son.

for parents One day I opened Pinterest on my phone and asked Hayden if he’d like to make a paper penguin. He was hooked. We made the penguin, then we searched for ways to make cardboard robots, and went on to pin destinations to visit. The only problem is that Hayden now expects us to visit all these places – a volcanic island, sure, but I’m not as keen on the Inca rope bridge in Peru. When Hayden asked if we could search for sea pigs, I chuckled, but typed it in anyway. And there they were – little pink blobs that live on the ocean floor, which resemble real pigs but with feelers and more feet. Then we learnt about water bears, leaf dragons, leapons (a leopard-lion hybrid) and vampire squid. We’ve “visited” countries, learnt how to grow beans and found fresh ways to paint and new games to play, all on Pinterest.

Pinterest is a quick and easy way of obtaining new ideas for activities and teaching. Given its many uses and benefits, Pinterest is gaining momentum as an educational tool. The teachers at Highbury Preparatory School in Durban agree. “It’s a quick and easy way of obtaining new ideas for activities and teaching,” says Grade 00 teacher Cecily Fraser. There are countless ideas for art and craft activities on almost any theme, and some pins give step-by-step guidelines. You can find new ways to use everyday items or ideas for creating play equipment. Or you can search for ideas on class displays; maths or language posters; fundraising activities; class parties, and the list goes on. Lea Lyle, a Grade 1 teacher, follows other teachers from around the world, so the ideas she finds are varied, as well as tried and tested. Lyle also looks for games and lessons that can be used to help students grasp concepts, such as phonics, more easily. Spelling, reading and maths games or multisensory activities are all available. Kerri Peatt, a Grade 2 teacher, says it helps her find fresh, dynamic ideas, which she can use to get her children actively involved in learning. The organisation of Pinterest lends itself to lesson planning, allowing pinners to create boards around topics, and pinning ideas and links onto them. Grade 3 teacher Tarryn Misic uses Pinterest for lesson planning when she’s covering a new topic. She recently taught her class how to summarise: “I found amazing diagrams, instructions and practical tips that helped me plan the entire thing.” This ease of access to your boards and pins, and through these to relevant websites, means it’s easy to organise ideas and keep them in one place.

November 2014

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PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterstock.com

for teachers

Ideas for classroom management can also be found on Pinterest. This may include ideas for reward and consequence or ways to support children with attention difficulties, says Peatt. Teachers can also find ways to help children with their homework. In fact, they could pin these ideas and share them with the parents of the children in their class.

for students Given its nature as a content sharing site, Pinterest can also be used to keep up to date with news from around the world, or to research any number of subjects. Misic cautions that many images are not child-friendly and may be inappropriate for younger age groups. But older children, or children who are supervised by parents, can be taught how to avoid questionable material and learn from the site. Pinterest allows you to invite others to pin on boards, so you could create project boards for groups of children, or even the whole class. If you’re learning about volcanoes, students can find pins on active volcanoes, ash clouds or how to build a volcano. Groups can then keep everyone’s contributions in one place, maybe even sharing this board with the class at the end of the project. This improves research skills, and helps children learn about organisation as they create boards and populate them with relevant pins. With so many users, and so many pins, concern about inappropriate content is understandable. Pinterest does have a policy restricting pins from being sexually explicit, pornographic, hateful or promoting harm. Some pins may slip through, and while Pinterest does remove pins that they think contravene this policy, it is not a site created for children. Content may not always be appropriate and can be offensive. If you are giving children access, ensure that they are supervised and monitor who they choose to follow. Pinterest is an ideal tool for education, for teachers in and out of the classroom, for parents and for students. The main concern, as my son and I have discovered, is that it’s addictive.

tips for pinners • S et up your boards carefully, so you can pin and find pins easily. • Be specific in your search, for example: “helping children with homework” or “lunchbox ideas for toddlers”. • Pin ideas from websites you visit. • Be selective in who you follow. You can search for pinners or boards, and select the ones you want to follow.

eduClipper Similar to Pinterest, eduClipper is geared specifically towards teachers, students and schools. It allows users to: • f ind lessons, resources and other educational content; • add clips to boards, and • share boards with the class. The aim of the website is for students and teachers to work together collecting and organising resources, to improve both the teaching and learning of material. Visit educlipper.net

magazine durban

November 2014

book extract

something familiar, something new In Make Five HELEEN MEYER shows us how to turn one common ingredient into five exciting dishes. Be inspired by these simple yet delicious recipes.

oven-roasted mushrooms with crème fraîche

steak with basil butter serves 4 | 30 minutes

serves 4 | 30 minutes

One of the best ways to enjoy steak is with a simple, yet flavourful accompaniment or side dish. Use the butter in small quantities, as it has lots of flavour.

A very simple dish, but the subtle flavours will not be easily forgotten. I have served these mushrooms as a starter and as a luxurious salad. They’re also delicious on toasted Italian bread as a canapé with drinks. Use a variety of mushrooms for an interesting taste. ingredients • 400g mixed mushrooms of your choice, such as shiitake, portabellini, shimeji or oyster • 30ml (2 tbsp) olive or avocado oil • 12–15 sprigs fresh thyme, leaves stripped from the stalks • salt and pepper • 80ml ( cup) crème fraîche or sour cream (optional) • 45ml (3 tbsp) fresh thyme leaves • 2 handfuls small lettuce or fresh Italian parsley leaves method 1 Preheat the oven to 220ºC. Line a baking tray with baking paper so that it overlaps the edges slightly. If the mushrooms are quite big, tear or cut them in half or in quarters. 2 Mix mushrooms and oil in a large

ingredients butter • 125ml (½ cup) soft butter, cubed • 75ml (5 tbsp) olive or avocado oil • 60ml (¼ cup) chopped fresh basil • 1 clove garlic, crushed • 50ml grated pecorino cheese • 15ml (1 tbsp) finely grated lemon rind • pepper

mixing bowl until they are coated in oil. Pack in a single layer on the baking paper and sprinkle with thyme, salt and pepper. 3 Roast for 8–10 minutes or until the mushrooms are just cooked, but still juicy. Allow to cool and serve with spoonfuls of crème fraîche, extra herbs and lettuce leaves.

steak • 4 x 200g–300g steaks of your choice

method 1 butter Place all the ingredients in a food processor and blend well together. Season with a good grind of black pepper. Or whisk everything together in a bowl and season. 2 Spoon butter onto a piece of plastic wrap and shape into a sausage. Cover with more plastic wrap and refrigerate or freeze until needed. 3 steak Heat a griddle or frying pan over medium heat. Rub steak with oil and fry for 4–5 minutes on one side until golden brown. Season lightly with salt. Turn with tongs and fry for another 4–5 minutes. 4 Allow the steak to rest for a few minutes before slicing it. Serve with a baked potato, a salad or green veggies of your choice. Serve teaspoonfuls or thin sIices of butter with the steak and veggies.

tip If exotic mushrooms are not available, use brown or button mushrooms. The flavours will be different, but still delicious.

a panful of green veggies with an egg serves 4 | 25 minutes

November 2014

• 60ml (¼ cup) coarsely torn fresh mint • 4–6 eggs, soft fried, boiled or poached

ingredients • 30ml (2 tbsp) olive or avocado oil • 10ml (2 tsp) wholegrain mustard • 10ml (2 tsp) apple cider vinegar or lemon juice • salt and pepper • 5–6 large baby marrows, cut into ribbons with a vegetable peeler • 100g fine green beans, halved diagonally • 125ml (½ cup) frozen peas, rinsed

method 1 Mix 20ml (4 tsp) of the oil with the mustard and vinegar and season to taste. Set aside. 2 Heat the rest of the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sauté baby marrows until just soft. Add beans and fry for a few more minutes. 3 Stir in peas and the oil mixture and season to taste. Stir in the mint and serve immediately with the eggs.

about the book Make Five by Heleen Meyer (Human & Rousseau) is perfect for those days when you’re feeling uninspired, yet want to try something new with what you have available – it could be butternut or potatoes or even tinned tomatoes, pasta or dried beans. Meyer demonstrates how to take one common, easily available ingredient and turn it into five exciting new dishes. You can pick from main courses that can be prepared in just a few minutes, light meals, interesting side dishes or salads. Make Five is available in all good bookstores for R265.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: NEVILLE LOCKHART

Lightly cooked green veggies with fresh mint is a wonderful combination. Serve as a light meal or omit the egg and serve as a side dish.

magazine durban

November 2014

how to

Join up with other parents these holidays to ensure your children have more fun and you get some down time. By TAMLYN VINCENT

or parents who have to work, fit in Christmas shopping or run errands, holidays can be tricky. But if you join forces with like-minded moms or dads, holiday care becomes so much easier. The basic idea is to get a group of parents together to share holiday care. Each day, or once every few days, one or two of the parents take care of all the children and each parent organises activities, outings or games for their allocated day. We’ve compiled a few practical ideas to get you started.

art and craft days

Come up with a few age-appropriate craft projects, then gather enough of all the necessary supplies, from paint and paper to glue, string and scissors, and set up your art space, possibly somewhere you don’t mind a bit of mess. Ideas could include painting a giant mural on an old sheet, making Christmas decorations or making cardboard box birdfeeders.

baker’s day

Decide if each child is making their own dish, in which case they’ll need their own ingredients and equipment, or if they’re all helping you. Then find easy recipes for children, such as pizza dough. Find a work space that’s big enough and where children can stand or sit. Another option is to give them cookie dough to roll and cut out their own biscuits. Children can also decorate pre-made cupcakes. Older children may like a cook-off, where they each get the same ingredients and have to make something with them.

November 2014

kite flying

Children can make their own kites, using materials from around the house or bought from a hardware store. You’ll need a few straight sticks, some newspaper, wood glue, string and colourful material for the tail. Once children have built and decorated their kites, fly them in the garden or in a nearby park. For easy steps to make a kite, visit childmag.co.za/content/make-kite.

princess (or pirate) for a day

Girls will love spending the day getting dressed up, and Mom can do their hair and make-up. Set up a high tea for lunch. If you’re looking after boys, let them dress up as pirates. Add scars or tattoos and send them out on a treasure hunt to look for their hidden lunch.

If you belong to a sports club that has a range of facilities, book some time. Children can play tennis or squash, swim or try their hand at lawn bowls. Set up a friendly game or mini soccer tournament. The club may also have a braai or entertainment area you can use for lunch. Other activities could include going to a local bike park, or visiting a playground where younger children can ride on push bikes. If you’d prefer to stay home, set up an obstacle course or bike track in your garden.

out and about

Keep children interested to learn new things by planning an outing to a science centre, aquarium or natural history museum. Turn the outing into a competition by creating a scavenger hunt of things they need to see, or create a fun quiz. You can also visit a water park, nature reserve or playground. Older children may be keen to do their own thing, so agree on a meeting point and time before they disappear. Keep younger children in sight.

sports days

set a record

Use the Guinness World Records to show children some records that have been set, and then get them to attempt to make and break their own. Find out who can do the longest handstand, or who can build the tallest marshmallow tower. Award them prizes or certificates for their records.

water play

Playing with water can be tailored to suit most ages. Just be mindful of using water sparingly. Playing in the pool is fun for older children or in a paddle pool for younger ones. You could also set up a slip-and-slide with a long sheet of plastic and a hose pipe. Or hoist up plastic piping with holes cut into it and a hose pipe at one end, to create a walk-through sprinkler. If children are playing in or around water, make sure they are supervised. If you’re throwing a pool party, ensure all the children know how to swim and be clear about pool rules, such as no running or diving.

making it work • C onsider the children’s ages and capabilities when choosing activities. Also consider whether or not you’ll need to cater for different age groups. • Think about the number of children you’re looking after. If you’re staying at home you may be able to cater for more children. • If you’re driving, find out if you need car seats. And inform the other parents before you drive their children anywhere. • Decide upfront how much money each parent should spend on their day, or whether everyone will pay for each day’s activity. • Discuss what form of discipline is acceptable and what set of rules children should follow. Ensure your children understand that each parent is in charge for that day. • Find out about food allergies and stock up on food, especially if children will be busy outside. • Have a back-up plan. Children won’t always want to do the planned activity or it might rain on the day you want to go to the park.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

club together

resource

reconnect with your teenager If your teenager seems like a stranger living in your house, eating your food and spending all your money, then it’s time for some old-fashioned bonding. Here are a few activity suggestions to get you started. Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

gourmet fun

get sporty

You and your teenager can explore new ways of cooking or new flavours and cuisines together. If you choose an exotic course, you’ll also have the opportunity to learn about that culture. Try a sushi or braai class for something different, or sign up for a baking or cake decorating course. Not only is this a fun, social experience, it also helps children learn the basics of cooking, something that will stay with them throughout their lives. The equipment and ingredients are usually all provided, plus you often get to sit down together at the end of a class and enjoy what you have cooked.

If you and your teenager both enjoy exercise or just being outdoors, there are plenty of choices for you. Perhaps you both like a challenge or you’re looking for a good opportunity to get fit together. You can join a mountain bike club, take up martial arts or try your hand at mountain climbing. Not only will you get the exercise you need, but you will also be supporting each other through the challenge and learning a new skill along the way. Sporting activities often provide a great opportunity to visit new places. Check what age and skill levels each venue caters for and what gear you’ll need to take for each of you.

where to go Cooking Cooks Find them in Westville. Contact: 031 266 8488, info@cookingcooks.co.za or visit cookingcooks.co.za Fusion Cooking School Situated in Westville. Contact: 031 262 0621, info@fusioncooking. co.za or visit fusioncooking.co.za Gecko Culinary Adventures Based in Musgrave. Contact: 031 209 4555, cooking@ geckoschool.co.za, visit geckoschool.co.za or visit Facebook: Gecko Culinary Adventures Meryl’s School of Cooking Their kitchen is in Kloof. Contact: 031 764 6577, meryl@ merylschoolofcooking.co.za or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

where to go Giba Gorge Mountain Bike Park There are trails, tracks and more. Situated in Westmead. Contact: 031 769 1527, info@gibagorge.co.za or visit gibagorge.co.za Holla Trails Go mountain biking five minutes out of Ballito at Collisheen Estate. Contact: 074 897 8559, trailmaster@hollatrails.co.za or visit hollatrails.co.za Shaolin Kung Fu They offer classes and one-on-one tuition in kung fu, t’ai chi and chi kung. Find them in Morningside. Contact: 084 556 4190, shaolinkf@mweb.co.za or visit kungfu-durban.co.za Southern Rock Climbing Centre They offer climbing courses, training, gear rental and outings. They’re based in New Germany. Contact: 031 705 3842, info@southernrockgym. co.za or visit southernrockgym.co.za

magazine durban

November 2014

resource

learn a language Are you planning a holiday to an exotic location for you and your teenager? Or perhaps you’re both interested in different cultures or countries. Take some language classes to improve your knowledge and so that you can communicate with locals. Learning a language also sets your child up for future opportunities and possibilities after leaving school, either in South Africa or abroad. Plus the pair of you will be able to speak a language the rest of your friends and family don’t know.

Durban Language Centre They offer Zulu, Spanish, French, German and English language courses, and are based in Musgrave. Contact: 031 201 3448, 031 201 6990, info@durbanlanguage.com or visit durbanlanguage.com

where to go Alliance Française Based in Windermere, they offer French, Zulu, Portuguese and English for French speakers. Contact: 031 312 9582, afdbn@global.co.za or visit alliance.org.za Dante Aligheiri Language courses are available at all levels in Italian, and in Spanish, Chinese, German, Hindi, Russian, Afrikaans and Latin. Contact: 031 563 7633, 073 852 2482, ladante@dantedurban.com or visit dantedurban.com

make some noise If you and your teenager want to work on a musical talent, or share your favourite guitar riffs with each other, spend a few hours a week learning an instrument together. Learning a musical instrument also improves memory, teaches discipline, helps boost confidence, especially when performing in public, and lets you work off stress. Music schools may provide instruments for you, or you can invest in your own. where to go Durban Music School Situated at 21 Diakonia Ave, Durban, they offer tuition in various instruments. Contact: 031 304 1001, durbanmusicschool@iburst.co.za or visit durbanmusicschool.org.za Highway Music School For classes in piano, keyboard, guitar and vocals. Contact: 082 822 0727 or highwaymusicschool@gmail.com The Music School Umhlanga Contact: 072 395 3400, jill@themusicschool.co.za, ray@themusicschool.co.za or visit themusicschool.co.za

point break Have you always wanted to learn how to surf or kite surf, but never had the nerve? Now is the chance for you and your teenager to take to the waves. Surfing has various health benefits, from strengthening arms, legs and back to improving core strength. Those who surf can also use the time to work off stress and tension. And once you’ve learnt how to surf, you can spend time out on the water together. Find out if you can hire a board, or if you need to bring your own. Also make sure your child is strong enough to handle the surfboard or kite before heading out. where to go Kitesports Based at Umdloti. Contact: 031 568 2644, info@kitesports.co.za or visit kitesports.co.za Learn 2 Surf Schools are available in Durban and Margate. Contact: 083 414 0567 or visit learn2surf.co.za Ocean Ventures They offer surf lessons and sea kayaking and are based at the beachfront promenade at uShaka Marine World. Contact: 086 100 1138, info@oceanventures.co.za or visit oceanventures.co.za Roxy Learn to Surf and Come Surf with Quicksilver Lessons take place at Addington Beach. Contact: 076 877 5143, roxylearn2surfdurban@gmail.com or visit roxy.co.za

for the thrill of it If classes aren’t your thing or you and your teenager are looking for a once-off adventure, try these activities: • Find a Zorb park and take a roll • Fly through the trees on a canopy tour • Sign up for tandem paragliding • Rapp jump your way down a building • Take a tour on a quad bike, scooter or a Segway • Go microlighting • Race each other around a go-kart track

November 2014

magazine durban

calendar

what’s on in november

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

FUN FOR CHILDREN – p27

ONLY FOR PARENTS – p28

Adventure Kids Swim School They cater for complete beginners, to pre-competitive swimmers.

Book launch dinner Marlene van der Westhuizen launches Secrets of a French Cooking Class.

bump, baby & tot in tow – p28

how to help – p29

Super Nannies training Give your nanny the skills she needs to become a well-educated child carer.

East Coast Radio’s Toy Story with Game Collects toys and food parcels for disadvantaged children.

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / Greg Lomas

sat

SPECIAL EVENTS – p26 The Color Run Celebrate health and happiness with colour and join thousands of participants in the “happiest 5km run on the planet”.

magazine durban

November 2014

calendar

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 saturday

7 friday DSD Christmas Market Experience traditional German food and glühwein. Tables are filled with cakes, Christmas biscuits, wooden crafts and more. Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: Deutsche Schule Durban, 34 Stafford Rd, Cowies Hill. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 267 1307

Christmas Hope Market Find uniquely crafted products. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Grace Family Church, Umhlanga. Cost: free entry. Contact: diane.fick@ soulaction.co.za Montessori early childhood teacher training An information session for 2015. Time: 8:30am–10am. Venue: Ocean View Montessori School, 32 Oxford Dr, Durban North. Cost: free. Contact: durban@montessorisa.co.za

8 saturday

4 tuesday

11 tuesday

Rebirth from Darkness to Light This dance theatre combines poetry with music, film and dance. Ends 9 November. Time: varies. Venue: Catalina Theatre, Wilson’s Wharf. Cost: R50–R140. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Sinder-fella It is time for the witty doubleentendre and the comically ambiguous. This adult pantomime features Sinder-Fella, Princess Charming and the Fairy Godfather. Ends 30 December. Time: 7:30pm Tuesday– Saturday, 2:30pm Sunday. Venue: Suncoast Casino, Beachfront. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

6 thursday Seedlings Pre-School open day Prospective parents can view the school and see how they operate, and meet the teachers. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: 1 Wincanton Way, Somerset Park. Cost: free. Contact: 031 572 2256, seedlings@harvestchurch.co.za or visit seedlingspreschool.co.za

7 November – DSD Christmas Market

November 2014

Durban Motor Show This year’s expo pays tribute to old school beauties and new school high-tech. Ends 9 November. Time: opens 2pm Friday, 10am Saturday–Sunday. Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre, Durban. Cost: adults R100, children under 12 free. For more info: visit durbanmotorshow.co.za

7 fri

Pandora Pre-Primary open day View the school’s facilities and meet the teachers. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: 61 Acute Rd, Bluff. Cost: free. Contact: 031 467 4221 or pandorasecretary@gmail.com

13 thursday The Year of the Bicycle It’s 1997, and two nine year olds learn how to ride a bicycle and survive in a place where something is not quite right. Ends 16 November. Time: 7:30pm Thursday–Saturday, 3pm Sunday. Venue: Playhouse Loft Theatre, Anton Lembede Rd, Durban. Cost: R80. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

16 sunday

14 friday

Wear Purple for Preemies Support World Prematurity Day by purchasing a

Blue Breakfast campaign On World Diabetes Day, make your favourite breakfast, but make it blue. Count the carbohydrates and post this number and a photo of your breakfast on Facebook: Youth with Diabetes YWD, or twitter: #YWDbluebreakfast. For more info: visit youthwithdiabetes.com Public talk on meditation Genla Kunsang, international teacher and Buddhist nun, talks about developing a positive state of mind. Time: 7pm–8:30pm. Venue: Bluewaters Hotel. Cost: R70 donation to NPO. Contact: 031 764 6193, meditateinsa@gmail.com or visit meditateinsa.org

Maxed Elite TinMan Triathlon From triathletes as young as 8 years old, to the serious kind, this exhilarating race has categories for people of every fitness level. Time: 7am. Venue: Suncoast Sundeck, Durban Beachfront. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 764 1885 or visit bactive.com

17 monday

sticker. Proceeds go to Groote Schuur Hospital’s Newborns Trust. Cost: stickers R10, donations welcome. Contact: 021 404 6023 or enquiries@newborns.org.za

20 thursday The Ella Fitzgerald Story Cat Simoni takes you on a musical journey. Time: 7pm. Venue: The Oyster Box Hotel, Umhlanga. Cost: R350, includes dinner and show. Contact: 031 514 5000 or restaurants@ oysterbox.co.za

21 friday

16 November – Maxed Elite Tinman Triathlon

An Evening with John Legend: The All of Me Tour See John Legend in an intimate setting. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Stamford Hill. Cost: R225–R1 195. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com Rory McLaren’s Greatest Hits With hits from Queen, Elvis, Abba, Bublé and more. Ends 23 November. Time: 8pm Friday–Saturday, 2pm and 6:30pm Sunday. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Ave, Umbilo. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com

magazine durban

22 saturday Old Mutual Music at the Lake Jeremy Loops, Goodluck, The Kiffness and Rubber Duc perform. Time: 6pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens, Berea. Cost: pre-sales R150, on the day R170, children 8–12 years old R50. Contact: 031 322 4201, dbginfo@ durban.gov.za or book at webtickets.co.za

November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Kip McGrath Umhlanga, 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 042 2556, admin@kipumhlanga.co.za or visit kipmcgrath.co.za

sun

family outings

28 friday Bhakti Eastern mystical philosophy meets African contemporary dance rhythms. Ends 30 November. Time: 7:30pm Friday and Saturday, 3pm Sunday. Venue: Playhouse Drama Theatre, Anton Lembede Rd, Durban CBD. Cost: R80. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Old Mutual Music at the Lake The legendary Johnny Clegg collaborates with South African super group, Lady Smith Black Mambazo. Time: 1pm for 3pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens. Cost: pre-sales R180, on the day R200, children 8–12 R50. Contact: 031 322 4201 or book at: webtickets.co.za

29 saturday Andrew Young The show features a unique mix of rock and pop. Time: 12pm–4pm. Venue: Wahooz, uShaka Marine World Promenade. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za The Color Run Get covered in colour in this 5km un-timed race. Time: tbc. Venue: Durban. Cost: tbc. For more info: visit thecolorrun.co.za

Mr Cowboy and Miss Cowgirl 2014 Children of all ages can enter. Time: 11am. Venue: Flag Animal Farm, Salt Rock. Cost: competition entry R180, entry to farm R33. Contact: karen@simply-younique.co.za

30 sunday

Art lessons Children 8–18 years old learn fine art techniques. Time: 9am–11am, every Saturday. Venue: High Ridge Rd, Durban North. Cost: R125 per hour. Contact: 074 178 9388 or sdyson@remaxpanache.co.za

Durban Motorcycle Toy Run Motorcyclists ride from The Pavilion to Amanzimtoti to donate toys to the underprivileged. There are stalls, a children’s play area, prizes and more at the final venue. Time: 9:30am. Venues: The Pavilion, Westville to Lords and Legends Sports Grounds, Amanzimtoti. Cost: donate a new or clean used toy. Contact: 072 648 5572, 083 487 6846, or (Mass Ride) 083 443 3091

3 November – Early Reading

magazine durban

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science

classes, talks and workshops Children’s yoga Time: 11am–11:45am, every Saturday. Venue: Centre of Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R40. Contact: 076 410 1410 Computers 4 Kids Time: 10am–11am or 11am–12pm, every Saturday. Venue: suite 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R500 per month. Contact: 073 966 0983 or umhlanga@ computers4kids.co.za Durban Botanic Gardens schools programme Students learn about nature. For foundation, pre-primary, intermediate and senior phases. Time: 8:30am–12pm Monday–Friday. Venue: St Thomas Rd, Berea. Cost: learners R25. Contact: 031 322 4025 or jody.fuchs@durban.gov.za

Early reading For Grade R learners. Starts 3 November. Time: 1pm. Venue: unit 1, 1 Douglas Crowe Dr, Ballito. Cost: R180 per lesson. Contact: 032 946 2293, 079 881 8872 or kipballito@telkomsa.net French lessons Time: varies. Venue: Alliance Française, 22 Sutton Crescent, Morningside. Cost: from R700 per term. Contact: 031 312 9582 or afdbn@ global.co.za Little learners Grade R children prepare for formal learning. Time: 1:30pm, every Monday. Venue: Kip McGrath Umhlanga, 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 566 1110 or admin@kipumhlanga.co.za Study skills course Grade 5–7 and Grade 8–12 learners develop and learn necessary study techniques. 1, 8, 15, 22 and 29

Books2You book fair Time: 10am– 3:30pm on 4 November, 7:30am–1pm on 5 November. Venue: Curro Hillcrest Christian Academy. Also at Atholton Primary School 17 and 18 November. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 705 7744 or orders@books2you.co.za Sugar Terminal tours Time: varies, Monday–Friday. Venue: 25 Leuchars Rd, Durban. Cost: adults R16, children R8. Contact: 031 365 8153, tourguide@sasa. org.za or visit sasa.org.za

finding nature and outdoor play Flag Animal Farm With rescued animals, a milking show, indoor play centre, coffee shop and more. Time: daily milking show, 12pm and 3pm. Venue: Sheffield Beach. Cost: R33 entry. Contact: 032 947 2018 Return of the swallows Take a picnic, chairs and binoculars. From 9 November. Time: 5pm. Venue: Mount Moreland viewing site. Cost: R10. For more info: visit barnswallow.co.za The Animal Farmyard Feed the animals and see milking demonstrations. Time: 9am–4:30pm daily, milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: R15 entry, rides R5. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za

Every Sunday – The Morning Trade

November 2014

calendar Venue: 8 Morrison St, Durban. Cost: free entry. Contact: info@themorningtrade. co.za or visit Facebook: The Morning Trade The Play Christmas Market With children’s puppet show, craft stalls, artisan food and more. 23 November. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Giba Gorge Mountain Bike Park, 110 Stockville Rd. Cost: R10 park entry. Contact Derryn: 071 307 0823 or gotoplaymarket@gmail.com Upmarket Umhlanga Find something for everyone, from arts and fashion, to food and gifts. Time: 9am–2pm on 2 November, 6pm–10pm on 7 November. Venue: Umhlanga Centre. Cost: varies. For more info: visit upmarketumhlanga.co.za

on stage and screen

11 tue

Sinder-fella 11 November–30 December. Time: varies. Venue: Suncoast Casino, Beachfront. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Winsome View Animal Farm There is a play area, farm animals and pony rides. Time: 9am–3pm Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: Hamilton Way, Shongweni. Cost: varies. Contact: 082 892 1615 or visit winsomeview.co.za

markets I Heart Market Showcases handmade, home-made and locally designed products. 1 November. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Moses Mabhida Stadium. Cost: free entry. Contact: thejoyteam@gmail.com or visit iheartmarket.blogspot.com Mariannhill Monastery Flea Market There are Monastery tours, fun for children, crafts and other interesting items. Time: 9am–1pm, every Saturday. Venue: 5 Monastery Rd, Mariannhill. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 700 6066 or 074 994 1688 Open Markets The charity shops, tea garden and nursery are open, plus there’s fun for children. Time: 8am–12pm every Monday and Saturday; also 9am–1pm 23 November. Venue: Kloof and Highway SPCA, 29 Village Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 764 1212/3 Shongweni Farmer’s and Craft Market Organic and local produce and crafts. Time: 6:30am–10:30am every Saturday. Venue: cnr Kassier Rd and Alverstone Rd, Assagay. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 777 1674 or visit shongwenimarket.co.za Stables Lifestyle Market With plenty of shopping and secure parking. Time: 6pm–10pm every Wednesday and Friday, 10am–5pm every Sunday. Venue: 9 Jaco Jackson Dr, Durban. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 3058 The Morning Trade Find fresh ingredients, quality meats and wholesome food. Time: 8am–2pm, every Sunday.

November 2014

Bieber & Buddies – Never say Never 25 October; 1 and 15 November; 20 and 27 December; 3 and 10 January. Time: 2pm. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: R90. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za Boxtrolls An orphaned boy raised by underground cave-dwelling trash collectors must save his friends from an evil exterminator. This animated family adventure is based on the children’s novel Here Be Monsters by Alan Snow. Opens 28 November in cinemas nationwide. For more info: visit numetro.co.za or sterkinekor.com

playtime and story time Children’s story time For 3–8 year olds. Time: 10am, every Saturday. Venue: The Book Boutique, 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Lucky Bean A children’s playground. Time: 9am–4pm Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 10 Cadmoor Rd, Assagay. Cost: R20 for the first child, R15 for each additional child per family. Contact: 082 216 3892, info@luckybean.co or visit luckybean.co (no .za) Steam train rides Ride a miniature steam engine at the Durban Society of Model Engineers. The second Sunday of each month. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 a ride. Contact Gerald: 082 569 1383 or visit dsme.co.za

sport and physical activities Adventure Kids Swim School For children 1–15 years old. Time: 2pm–5pm Monday–Thursday. Venue: Glenashley Preparatory School, Durban North. Cost: R400 per month. Contact: 084 624 5962 or visit adventurekidsswim.weebly.com Taekwondo Tornados Time and venue: from 3:30pm, every Wednesday, Westville Library; from 2pm, every Tuesday, Hillcrest Library. Cost: R130 per month. Contact: 082 876 0628 or tkdtornados@gmail.com

Shongololo Shakers Music, puppet and movement classes for children 0–4 years old. Time: varies. Venues: Durban North and Winston Park. Cost: varies. Contact: 060 350 7323, 083 893 5155, info@shongololoshakers.co.za or visit shongololoshakers.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Adult computer course An eight-week introductory course. Time: 9am–12pm every Tuesday. Venue: suite 124 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: R3 270, exam fee R330. Contact: 074 113 8364 or umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za Contemporary parenting monthly meets Time: 6:30pm–8:30pm. Venues: on 12 November Makaranga Garden Lodge, Kloof; on 24 November Gordon Road Girls School, Berea. Cost: varies. Contact: 082 652 8008 or hello@ contemporaryparenting.co.za Domestic workers cooking courses 4, 11, 18 and 25 November. Time: 8:30am–11am. Venue: Meryl’s School of Cooking, 1 Wingfield Rd, Kloof. Cost: R1 000. Contact: 031 764 6577 or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za Pilates in Motion Pilates and Booty Barre workouts, as well as Taebo and toning classes. Time: varies. Venue: Fergusun Rd, Glenwood. Cost: varies. Contact: 082 443 4533 or info@pilatesinmotion.co.za Pilates retreat 1 November. Time: 8:30am–4:30pm. Venue: Waterfall Retreat Centre, 20 Debengeni Rd, Waterfall. Cost: R450. Contact: 082 443 4533 or info@ pilatesinmotion.co.za

Book launch dinner Chef and cookbook author, Marlene van der Westhuizen launches Secrets of a French Cooking Class, with a five-course meal. 25 November. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: The Oyster Box, Umhlanga. Cost: R490. Contact: 031 514 5000 or restaurants@oysterbox.co.za Reunite team building This workshop to reconnect and reunite, includes lunch and a team activity. 6, 13, 20 and 27 November. Time: varies. Venue: Giba Gorge. Cost: R650–R850. For more info: visit consideredcreative.co.za

on stage and screen

support groups

Bhakti 28–30 November. Time: varies. Venue: Playhouse Drama Theatre, Anton Lembede Rd, Durban. Cost: R80. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com Rebirth from Darkness to Light 4–9 November. Time: varies. Venue: Catalina Theatre, Wilson’s Wharf. Cost: R50–R140. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Rory McLaren’s Greatest Hits 21–23 November. Time: varies. Venue: Rhumbelow Theatre, Cunningham Ave, Umbilo. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com The Ella Fitzgerald Story 13 November. Time: 7pm. Venue: The Oyster Box Hotel, Umhlanga. Cost: R350. Contact: 031 514 5000 or restaurants@oysterbox.co.za

Hi Hopes Home intervention programme for children who are deaf or hard of hearing. Contact: 082 897 1632, dianne.goring@ hihopes.co.za or visit hihopes.co.za Overeaters Anonymous They aim to overcome compulsive overeating through meetings where they share experiences. Contact: 083 409 8309 or visit oa.org.za

The Year of the Bicycle 13–16 November. Time: 7:30pm Thursday–Saturday, 3pm Sunday. Venue: Playhouse Loft Theatre, Anton Lembede Rd, Durban. Cost: R80. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

out and about

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Busytots Classes A developmental programme for children 1–3 years old. Time: varies, Wednesday–Friday. Venue: Musgrave. Cost: R900 per term. Contact: 083 236 0059 or lisa@busyballers.co.za

In Celebration of Dogs The Kloof and Highway SPCA 2015 calendar is on sale for R150, from various outlets in the Highway area. Contact: fundraising@kloofspca.co.za or visit kloofspca.co.za 13 November – The Ella Fitzgerald Story

magazine durban

Edu-Maid Baby-care, child stimulation and cooking classes for domestic workers. Time: varies. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R300. Contact: 084 821 6668 Infant massage workshops 7, 14, 21 and 28 November. Time: 10am–11:30am. Venue: Lasting Impressions Studio, 35 Caefron Ave, Westville. Cost: R600. Contact: 083 661 6682, alison@infantmassagekzn. co.za or visit infantmassagekzn.co.za Pebbles An interactive playgroup and coffee morning. Time: 9:30am–11:30am, every Friday. Venue: The Rock Church, cnr Tamarind Close and Umhlanga Rocks Dr. Cost: free. Contact Tara: 084 567 7776 Pre- and postnatal yoga Time: prenatal yoga 4:30pm, every Thursday; postnatal yoga 10:30am, every Tuesday. Venue: Alverstone Rd, Assagay. Cost: one class per week R240 per month. Contact: 083 560 5390, isabel@blissfulbellies.co.za or visit blissfulbellies.co.za Super Nannies training Register online. 1 November. Time: 8am–11am. Venue: Durban North Baptist Church, 20 Mackeurtan Ave. Cost: R1 750. Contact: 082 307 2476, infodbn@supernannies. co.za or visit supernannies.co.za

playtime and story time Baby Bright Stars Interactive classes for moms and babies. Time: varies. Venue: Westville. Cost: R850. Contact: 083 777 4578, kelly@babybrightstars.co.za or visit babybrightstars.co.za Clamber Club Movement and stimulation classes for babies 8 weeks–12 months, and children 1–4 years old. Time: varies. Venues: Ballito, Hillcrest and Kloof. Cost: varies. Contact Ballito: 076 222 2946, Hillcrest: 084 577 7630, Kloof: 083 259 2746 or visit clamberclub.com Gap Group Sensory play groups for moms and babies. Time: varies. Venue: 23 Levenhall Rd, Glenmore. Cost: first term R680, following terms R480. Contact: 071 885 4618 or heather.gap@gmail.com

Little Me Moms and Toddlers workshops Fun workshops for toddlers 1–3,5 years old and moms. Time: varies. Venue: Sunningdale. Cost: R75. Contact: 084 821 6668 or visit littleme.yolasite.com Moms and Babes and Moms and Tots workshops Programmes stimulate, develop skills and promote bonding. Venues: Amanzimtoti, Berea, Durban North, Umhlanga and the Highway area. Cost: varies. For more info: visit momsandbabes. co.za or momsandtots.co.za Toptots Children 8 weeks–4 years old learn and play. Time: varies. Venues: Ballito, Durban North, Glenwood, Hillcrest, Westville, PMB Hayfields and Hilton. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791, admin@ toptots.co.za or visit toptots.co.za

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

support groups Mothers 2 Baby For new and more experienced moms finding motherhood challenging. Babies welcome. Time: 10am–11:30am, every third Thursday of the month. Venue: Hillcrest Private Hospital, Kassier Rd. Cost: free. Contact the clinical psychologist: 061 453 3718

how to help East Coast Radio’s Toy Story with Game Donate new toys or food parcels for children in government hospitals, state orphanages and crèches, and government funded homes. Donations can be made at selected Game stores or East Coast Radio, Umhlanga. For more info: visit ecr.co.za. The Saint Giles charity shop They raise funds for people with disabilities. The shop, at 4 Prince Street in Durban, is open in the mornings, Monday–Friday. Donations of clothing in good condition, household goods, toys, furniture and appliances in good working order are welcome. Saint Giles will collect large items. Contact: 031 337 4404 or visit saintgiles.org.za

East Coast Radio’s Toy Story with Game

don’t miss out! For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za. Information must be received by 31 October for the December/January issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

magazine durban

November 2014

finishing touch

what will they say next? hildren tend to say the funniest things. My son and I were chatting and happened to be agreeing on something funny. He piped up and said, “Mom, you totally slipped my mind.” Similarly, the other day he was roughhousing with his dad, who had him in some sort of playful hold, when he said, “You’ve got me, Dad. I’ll be stuck here for several weeks now, hey?!” It’s funny when children make these little mix-ups, but just because they come out of the mouths of babes, don’t think for a second that it gets any better with age. As parents we’re also guilty of this from time to time. I, for instance, am notorious for mixing up song lyrics – especially the occasional Creedence Clearwater Revival song. When I sing “There’s a bad moon on the rise”, it’s “The bathroom’s on the right”. And “…Have you ever seen the rain?” suddenly becomes “have you ever seen Lorraine?” But somehow I’m guessing

she and her son have made over the years.

Cassandra and her son

(or hoping) I’m not alone. Unfortunately, when you’re older you don’t have an adult around to correct you, and the ones that are would rather have a quick chuckle at your expense just before they decide to rip you off. I think the worst slip-up I ever had as a child was thinking that “circumcised”

meant that someone was very small or short. So I was in for a shock when I told my aunt that I was small enough to play on something because I was circumcised. How embarrassing! I was little, but I still remember how bad I felt from her reaction. I knew straight away that I had said something wrong.

When my son says something funny we try not to laugh because we want to encourage the growth of his vocabulary as best we can, and sometimes it works. The other day he scolded his dad saying, “Daddy, you must not antagonise me anymore!” That’s my boy. But, despite this, there’s nothing wrong with keeping a sneaky journal of all the funny things they say and do over the years to share with them when they’re older. I started one, after realising that I was beginning to forget all of the hilarious things we heard coming out of his mouth. Now I’ve got lots of ammo for his 21st birthday, his future girlfriends, his wedding, to tell his children as they grow up, or any other opportune moment a parent gets to embarrass their child. I just hope he doesn’t disown me if I ever go through with it. With a pen in hand and an evil villain grin on her face, Cassandra eagerly awaits what her son will say next.

family marketplace

November 2014

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: MENKE BONNEMA

CASSANDRA SHAW shares some of the verbal blunders

books

a good read for toddlers

for early graders

for preschoolers

Hooray for Hoppy! By Tim Hopgood (Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R93) This is an engaging first-book about springtime and the senses for toddlers from the age of two years old. When Hoppy wakes up on the first day of spring, he discovers a world full of wonderful things, but after he’s sniffed the fresh air, listened to the singing birds and tasted the fresh green grass, he starts to feel a little lonely. And so he wakes up his friends so they can enjoy the sights, smells and sounds of spring together. This bold and beautiful introduction to the senses includes an activity spread to help children learn to use their senses to interact with the world around them.

Have You Slurped Strawberry Soup? By Nicole Levin and Vian Oelofsen

let the n atio imagin go

(Published by Shuter and Shooter, R66) Have you slid down a rainbow, swung on a star or floated on a cloud in the sky? With every slurp of strawberry soup your child’s imagination will fly high. At the end of the book Levin shares a simple recipe for strawberry soup. The author is an educational materials developer, drama teacher and storyteller who delights in taking children on magical and whimsical journeys into their imaginations.

for preteens and teens

Timmy Failure: Now Look What You’ve Done By Stephan Pastis

a is f aqua or rium

My Cape Town ABC By Sandy Lightley (Published by Random House Struik, R108) This book will help teach beginners their ABC the fun way, and also serves as an illustrated guide to Cape Town for children. From A for aquarium and P for protea, the bright illustrations bring the city to life, while fostering an awareness of sounds and letters. There are fun questions about the elements and the book features a helpful parents’ guide of key activities and places of interest. These will be very helpful when visiting the Mother City. So, whether for young residents of Cape Town or those just visiting the city, this beautiful book will serve as a much-loved keepsake.

(Published by Walker Books, R118) He doesn’t like to pull rank: Timmy Failure, the founder, president and CEO of the greatest detective agency in town, probably the country, and perhaps the world. But he is, and he’s about to crack the biggest case of his generation: a school competition to find a stolen globe, and win the prize money. But someone is clearly trying to cheat, so it’s up to Timmy, with the dubious help of Total, his lazy polar bear partner, and his unlikely new ally, eccentric Great Aunt Colander, to find a way to avenge these shenanigans, and obliterate Timmy’s arch-nemesis, the Wedgie. This is a hilarious read for children from the age of eight years old.

for us Black Widow White Widow By De Wet Potgieter

Dead Ends By Erin Lange

rful a powe f-o g in com ry age sto

(Published by Faber and Faber, R130) Dane Washington and Billy D. couldn’t be more different. Dane is clever and popular, but he’s also a violent rebel, who is one suspension away from expulsion. Billy D. has Down’s syndrome, plays by the rules and hangs out with teachers in his lunch break. But Dane and Billy have more in common than they think: both their fathers are missing. They’re going to have to suck up their differences and get on with helping each other. There are answers to be found. This is a powerful, funny, moving book for children from the age of 12 years old – the ultimate coming-of-age novel. It’s the perfect book for anyone who loves a road trip, anyone that has ever been bullied and anyone who has ever felt different.

Oxford School Dictionary – Learn isiXhosa Editors-in-Chief Gilles-Maurice de Schryver and Mary Reynolds (Published by Oxford University Press, R129,95) Oxford University Press Southern Africa recently launched the first bilingual isiXhosa and English dictionary in almost 30 years. This dictionary helps learners develop effective reading, writing and speaking skills in English and isiXhosa, helping them to succeed at school. It also gives vital support to learners using English to study other subjects. Modern and easy to use, it gives support in four key areas: it helps learners to choose the right translation; it shows how words are really used; it includes useful words from across the curriculum; and it gives frequently used translations only. There are also diagrams, activities, model letters, maps, verb tables, pronunciation help and more. Illustrations boost the learner’s understanding and authentic phrases help learners to sound natural and feel confident in their additional language.

realit y check

(Published by Penguin SA, R202) When he first published a report in 2013 on the active presence of Al-Qaeda in South Africa, all hell broke loose for investigative reporter De Wet Potgieter. He was forced to retract before two more articles could be published. Then the massacre at Westgate Mall hit Nairobi, which made the involvement of the so-called White Widow – operating on an illegally acquired South African passport – front-page news. Suddenly the world’s media was beating a path to Potgieter’s door. Now, for the first time, he tells the full unsettling story of Al-Qaeda’s presence in this country. The book shows how, taking advantage of corrupt state machinery, Al-Qaeda factions launch attacks in other African countries. Black Widow White Widow paints a frightening picture of the possibility of future attacks from, or on, South African soil.

parenting book Teenagers Translated By Janey Downshire and Naella Grew (Published by Random House, R235) Counsellors Janey Downshire and Naella Grew have developed a programme to help parents get the best out of the teenage years. Their approach is positive and straightforward, providing simple strategies for nurturing better behaviour and providing a happy, supportive home environment. The book shows how to help teenagers feel supported and secure and gives strategies for improving communication. It deals with digital technology and media influences and shows ways to encourage self-confidence and independence. It also helps parents cope with challenging behaviour, attitudes and pastimes, plus discusses drinking, drugs, sex, bullying, peer pressure, eating disorders and more.