Child Magazine | Durban October 2010

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p ar e n t s

park

and ride

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creating great play spaces in our neighbourhoods

art&

soul

creative therapies for your child

issue

difference, diagnosis & diversity

www.childmag.co.za

October 2010

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education

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My dad is a huge dog-lover, and he definitely passed this love on to me.

My first dog was a labrador, Tessa. Then there was Karen the rottweiler and, when she died, we got an African Tails special, Tsepang. Some years later, when I moved into my first garden flat, I adopted a staffie, Chloe, and then another, Thug. Which is why, recently, it didn’t take too much begging from my youngest to seek out the new addition to our household – Buddy the Beagle.

The animal behaviourists who run our local puppy classes are not impressed. They recommend labradors and golden retrievers as good family dogs. But we wanted a beagle!

They are great with children and can run their little legs off, making them perfect companions for long walks in the forest. Much to my husband’s dismay, they also tuck quite nicely into king-size beds, lying perfectly still until enticed out with a chunk of biltong.

In the six weeks that we have had Buddy, I have seen our family change. My husband smiles and takes walks with me more and my youngest has a friend to chase through the house as she tries to recover her last pair of unchewed socks. But perhaps Buddy’s greatest conquest has been my eldest. After not such a good day at school, she might have headed to her room, closed the door and turned up the music. Now she comes through the door and beams. Buddy sees her and can barely walk straight for all his tail wagging. He can, in an instant, transform a sometimes angst-ridden teenager into my little girl, who could easily be five or six again, for the carefree joy and love I see on her face.

It seems another generation of dog-lovers has been won!

PS Please join us (yes, Buddy too) in supporting The Sunflower Fund’s Bandana Day on 12 October – it’s a great cause.

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Elaine Eksteen • elaine@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za

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Durban’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

Office address: 1st Floor, MB House, 641 Ridge Road, Overport, 4091. Tel: 031 209 2200, fax: 031 207 3429, email: durban@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Durban’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may arise from reading them.

October 2010

contents october 2010

upfront 3

a note from lisa

6

ver to you o readers respond

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10 reader’s blog

a heart-warming story from a dad whose son has autism. By Andy Schwab

features 14 when your child is different

s teps for coping with the challenges of raising a child with a learning difference. By Glynis Horning

health 11 breathe easy

Lucille Kemp on asthma in children 12 a ngel’s kiss Chareen Boake looks into the nature of birthmarks

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12 regulars 7

wins

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pfront with paul u let children excel at the things they love, says Paul Kerton

18 p ark ‘n play Heather Brookes finds out how to create safe public outdoor play spaces

13 dealing with difference

Marina Zietsman investigates the developmental disorder, dyspraxia

20 fighting fit

artial arts for children – Simone Gray m takes parents through the paces

24 r esource: art & soul creative therapies that help little ones going through tough times.

By Lucille Kemp

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26 what’s on in october 38 l ast laugh Sam Wilson vows to spend less time blogging, tweeting, SMSing...

classified ads 34 family marketplace 37 it’s party time

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

thinkstockphotos.com

October 2010

thinkstockphotos.com

thinkstockphotos.com

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October 2010

letters

over to you teaching at home I have been home schooling my children for seven years.

I read your resource “education matters” in the August edition of Child Magazine and I have some concerns regarding the section on home schooling.

Yes, a home-schooling curriculum can be very expensive, but in my experience, many parents who start out home schooling pack this curriculum away as they become more confident and find inexpensive resources for educational materials on the Internet, in the library and at book sales. There is actually an oversupply of free educational material out there, so home educating can be as expensive as you choose to make it.

The second point I disagree with is that children may get insufficient interaction with their peers. I belong to a home-schooling network, but most of my children’s friends are not home schooled. Children who are home schooled also get the opportunity to socialise with people of all ages. This will stand them in good stead when they enter the job market one day.

The article stated that parents might find it difficult to distinguish between the role of parent and that of teacher. From the moment our children are born, parents start teaching them and home schooling is just an extension of this.

Another issue raised was that it might be a problem if your child shows an aptitude for a subject that you find difficult to teach. I was terrible at maths at school, but we have a fantastic maths programme and I am learning maths along with the children. If the going gets really tough, parents can consider employing a tutor to help with a subject.

On the issue that the parent would not only have to teach but also do research, prepare lessons and arrange outings; I have found that most curriculums have done all the prep for the parents. As for research, we teach our children how to do it and we investigate along with them.

I have found that formal outings are easy to arrange when necessary, but often learning occurs on everyday occasions, such as shopping or going to the beach.

October 2010

Learning becomes a way of life, not just something that happens in school hours.

Lack of sport facilities and coaches is not a huge problem as some schools welcome home-schooled children, allowing them to join in their activities, and some resourceful home-schooling parents offer coaching.

Chirani Meyer

double delight In May 2009 I started feeling nauseous and moody, and couldn’t understand what was going on. My husband and I were not trying for a second baby and, to be honest, we were not yet ready to go through the pregnancy and nappy change routine again. We were enjoying our fouryear-old son’s independence and the fact that he slept through the night.

I went for a pregnancy test and, when the result came back positive, I started crying – I’m not sure if they were tears of joy or fear. At my first appointment with my gynaecologist, I asked to be sterilised the moment the new baby arrived. I even insisted he wrote it on my file so that he wouldn’t forget.

Then I received the biggest surprise of my life. I was pregnant with twins! I burst into tears again. I kept thinking, “Why me? How can this happen?” I was so scared. On the way home, the waterworks were still flowing.

From then onwards my pregnancy was high risk, as my identical twin babies were sharing the same sac and one placenta. I was seeing the specialist and my gynaecologist every fortnight and at 30 weeks, the risk was so high that I had a Caesarean. Even as I was lying on the operating table, I reminded the doctor about the sterilisation.

Now, my precious babies are almost eight months old and they are doing brilliantly. We love every moment with them, and we even enjoy the attention they get from fascinated onlookers and visitors. Never in a million years did we think we’d be the proud parents of twins, never.

Moira Khumalo

time more precious than things Let me begin by saying that I have never felt a compulsion to write a letter to any publishing company. I was so delighted to read the article “gimme more” (September 2010), that I just had to respond.

The feature echoes my sentiments about materialism – especially concerning the issue of time. I am a working

mom who has been fortunate enough to be employed by a company that allows me to work from 7:30am to 4pm.

The sole purpose for this is to allow me more time in the afternoons with my seven-year-old son and four-yearold daughter; helping them with homework, playing with them and just being together.

If I ask my children whether they would rather, (a) have my husband and I spend time with them, or (b) receive presents, they always answer that they want time with the family. I certainly hope your article inspires less materialism in today’s children so that they can enjoy the art of living more.

Anne-Marie Vincent

restore the dignity in teaching I am writing regarding the industrial action by civil servants, specifically teachers. As an ex-teacher, I agree that the government should seriously consider a more equitable salary for those in the teaching profession.

Teaching is not like an ordinary nine-to-five job – it is indeed a calling. Teachers form a vital cornerstone of education.

Having said that, I was aghast at the unrest displayed by striking teachers in the media. It was in stark contrast to pictures depicting pockets of learners, mostly Grade 12s, huddled on school playgrounds, forging ahead with independent study. Their calibre is remarkable compared to their insolent teachers who seemingly display careless and irresponsible behaviour.

I’m sure that teachers can resort to alternative means of industrial action instead of the mayhem and violence of the current strikes. Let’s restore some dignity and nobility to the teaching profession, and collectively lay a firm education for our children.

Mark Kleinschmidt

write to us We would like to know what’s on your mind.

Send your letters to: marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

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wins

giveawaysin october sweet dreams Along with a clean room, appropriate lighting, and a comforting soft toy, the perfect sleep environment for your child also needs the right bedding. Protect-ABed’s full line of mattress- and pillow-protection products offers the ultimate in protection from spills and stains, allergens and irritants such as dust mites and bacteria. The products are also breathable as they are not made of PVC. For more information on their wide range of products, from AllerZip Mattress Encasements to Pillow Protectors and their most popular product, the Super Deluxe Mattress Protector, visit protectabed.co.za Four readers of Durban’s Child stand a chance to win a ProtectA-Bed family pack containing mattress and pillow protectors, valued at R750 each. To enter, email info@protectabed.co.za with “DBN Child Win” in the subject line before 31 October 2010. Only one entry per reader.

sleep tight When your little one has a cold or the flu and is battling to breathe because of congestion, try Nazo vapour patches. Suitable for children two years and older, Nazo vapour patches are designed to safely release the vapours of eucalyptus and camphor while your child is sleeping.

Both these oils offer symptomatic relief for the nasal congestion associated with colds and flu. Because the Nazo vapour patch is attached to your child’s clothes, it is safe and won’t disturb his sleep. For more info contact Pharma Dynamics on 021 701 6080 or visit pharmadynamics.co.za Ten readers of Durban’s Child stand a chance to win a hamper valued at R150 each, which includes a teddy bear and a pack of Nazo vapour patches. To enter, email win@childmag.co.za with “Nazo DBN Win” in the subject line or post your entry to Nazo DBN Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 31 October 2010.

Only one entry per reader.

Composition: each patch contains 187,5mg eucalyptus oil and 62,5mg camphor

on the move

PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

The popular three-wheeled maxi micro scooter is so much fun that your child won’t want to go anywhere without it. Well-designed and constructed, micro scooters are a great way to encourage mobility and exercise in your child – from five years old right up to the teen years. Micro Scooters safely improve balance and coordination while developing core stability and motor skills. The lightweight scooter has a lean-andtilt steering mechanism and a unique three-wheel design. For more information contact micro scooters on 076 373 4796, info@micro.co.za or visit micro.co.za One reader of Durban’s Child stands a chance to win a maxi micro scooter valued at R1 195. To enter, email your entry to win@micro.co.za with “DBN Child Win” in the subject line or enter online by visiting micro.co.za/win before 31 October 2010. Only one entry per reader.

congratulations to our august winners Debbie Duvel, Ferina Marimuthu, Cornell Steyn, Candice Lee Olwage, Chetna Govind, Kameshrie Joseph, Keely Crocker and Shelley Pflugler who win in the My File About Me giveaway; Kirthi Koovarjee who wins a Keedo voucher; Lee Rampono and Peta May Salmon who both win a Crayola hamper.

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October 2010

upfront with paul

Paul, Sabina and Saskia

h

ave you noticed how we all try to perfect in ourselves, and our children, what we are not good at, at the expense – in time and energy – of perfecting what we are already very good at? So instead of being Olympic standard at one or two things, we opt to be mediocre at many things.

Reinforcing this is the early need to experiment with lots of different “subjects” and “life skills”, since you don’t know if your child is good at anything until they’ve tried it – the old you’ve-got-to-be-in-it-towin-it theory.

October 2010

So let’s take maths (apologies to all the fabulous maths teachers out there.

I actually liked maths at school). Most children grasp counting, adding and subtracting. In modern society, they at least need to know how to count the change in their pocket and measure the distance between A and B. But when it comes to trigonometry and algebra, and advanced theorems – many children hit a wall. Yet we parents fret, employ an army of tutors, book extra maths lessons, and spend valuable hours coaching a child to pass the maths test. Then, having peaked, their interest dissolves into apathy. If they had spent the same amount of time practising and being coached at what they were already good at, or interested in, then the child would be a complete genius at that other thing.

Children should concentrate on becoming a genius at the things they love, says PAUL KERTON.

Educators argue that this is what most sophisticated education systems do (or try to): stream the children into a sensible short list of career and subject choices. Hoping that by the time varsity swings around they should be on course to excel at something, leading to meaningful employment. But do we stream them too late? In Outliers, writer Malcolm Gladwell claims that to be top at anything you need to put in a total of 10 000 hours of hard work.

There’s the humungous 800-plus-page tome Cambridge Handbook of Expertise and Expert Performance that dismisses talent and stresses that winners and expert performers of say, maths, ballet, piano or football, are made not born, championing that old nugget “practice makes perfect”.

Providing, and this is key, that you are practising what you love. Since if you love something you will want to work harder

at it, whereas if you don’t love it you will resent doing it and remain mediocre at it.

The other consideration is age. Not only the age when your child is streamlined and their “interest” discovered, but the month in which they were born. Get this: more than 60 percent of the footballers at this year’s sensational World Cup were born in January, February or March, with the remaining 40 percent spread over the other nine months. Why? Youth football is an age-biased sport with the cut-off at the end of each year. When picking a team you always pick the more “mature” boys and the boy born in January of any year is 11 months ahead – physically and mentally – of the December boy. So if your boy (or girl) is born on 30 December and wants to excel at sport, lie about his/her age.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.

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PHOTOGRAPH: JILL BADER

square holes, round pegs…

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October 2010

blog

it takes a village For ANDY SCHWAB, raising a son living on the autism spectrum couldn’t be done without the community in which they stay.

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October 2010

hand in hand The old African proverb: “it takes a village to raise a child” cannot be more true than when it comes to children living on the spectrum.

My son is very, very active, and loves the outdoors or going to the shops, just as long as he can be on the go.

Sometimes during these shopping trips Luca may get irritated and act up, which can be difficult for people to understand.

I have, however, learned that if we as parents share our son’s condition with people in our community – why he is

who he is and how they can interact and communicate with him – most people around us turn out to be very supportive and understanding. This is something for which I am most thankful.

We have been blessed with so much support from many people living in our community – neighbours, friends, family, people in the various shops that we visit and the other places we go. And the good news is: the number is rising.

There’s a particular recent experience, which affected us intensely, that I’d love to share. A few months back my son disappeared from our home. I was busy with a few chores and listening to him playing. Suddenly things became quiet. In those two minutes he’d climbed through a broken window we hadn’t yet replaced.

And while I checked each corner of our house in my desperation to find him, he had already headed out into the street

and around the block. As I set off into the road to search for him, around the corner came a man holding my son’s hand. The man, who it turns out is homeless, said he’d seen my son and realised something was wrong because he is never alone.

His wife had told him where we lived, and he took my son’s hand and returned him home safely. I cannot thank him enough for his quick thinking – and for doing the right thing at the right time.

That it takes a village to raise a child now makes even more sense to me than it ever did.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to elaine@childmag.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPH: Jürgen Banda-Hansmann

t’s well documented that autism or autism spectrum disorder (ASD) affects between one in 110 and one in 150 children of all ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds. Autism affects me through my son, Luca, 12, who has both autism and epilepsy.

I don’t think it’s something you ever feel ready for. Despite the fact that I was professionally involved with many people living with a disability, I could never have imagined what my life would look like or how I would cope. I was not ready, nor prepared for it. I guess few people are.

Our son’s condition developed at age two. It’s a journey that has needed

us to make some major adjustments to our lives.

However, we are most grateful to have a child like Luca. We appreciate that living with this condition wasn’t his choice, neither was it ours, but we have as much fun as other parents with their children.

health

breathe easy There are ways to stay on top of your child’s asthma. By LUCILLE KEMP

sthma is a chronic disorder of the lungs in which the airways narrow and mucous is secreted, due to inflammation, interfering with normal air movement. It affects 300-million people worldwide and, because it can be life threatening, is a scary condition to live with. Although there is no cure for asthma at present, effective treatment is available to control it, making it possible for your child to lead a normal life.

When trying to understand what makes a child susceptible to asthma, consider the child’s history with allergies or atopic eczema and the family’s history of asthma, especially on the mom’s side. Asthma has a strong link to allergies, such as hay fever, which “coexists in 80 percent of asthmatic patients,” says Prof Cassim Motala of Red Cross Children’s Hospital in Cape Town. The trigger may vary based on the individual child’s allergy, which could be to particular foods, dust, medicines, pet hair or air pollution. Along with allergens, symptoms are triggered by the common cold, exercise, irritants such as tobacco smoke (the number one no-no), cold air, emotional stress and even laughing, which can tighten the chest.

Asthma is identified by wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness and coughing. Dr Ishmael Mohlabi, a Johannesburg-based paediatrician, points out that asthma

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is “a respiratory condition and its signs and symptoms may overlap with those of other chest ailments”. Motala says that it’s difficult to distinguish from wheezy bronchitis, which often occurs in the first three years of life. After the age of three, recurring dry wheezing, especially in the middle of the night or early in the morning, is most likely due to asthma.”

airway. Control should be the main goal of treatment, however, “if your child is using their reliever pump more than three times weekly it is uncontrolled asthma,” says Motala.

Failure to control asthma will lead to excessive use of the reliever pumps and this is an indication that “medication and dosages may need adjusting,” adds Mohlabi.

be prepared take the three-part approach Avoid the triggers. This means treating the associated conditions such as hay fever, which may mean having to remove plants from your home or garden, not having pets and not smoking in the house (or at all).

Understand the disease. Learn and practise the correct and regular use of treatment especially with regards to asthma pump techniques. Children may be given their pump with a spacer, which slows down the speed of the spray coming from the inhaler so that less bronchodilator hits the back of the mouth and more gets into the lungs.

Medicate with relievers and controllers. Relievers are asthma pumps that contain bronchodilator medication and should strictly only be used when symptoms occur.

Controller medicine (corticosteroid) prevents asthma symptoms by treating the underlying inflammation in the

Motala provides a step-by-step plan when dealing with asthma attacks. Make sure you stay calm and patient, and give your child bronchodilator via pump or nebuliser as soon as possible. “Four puffs of a pump should be given three times at 20-minute intervals,” he says. Depending on the severity of the attack, says Mohlabi, you should also give your child corticosteroids. If your child’s breathing doesn’t improve; take them to the nearest emergency centre.

Though many children’s symptoms decrease as they reach adolescence, say both Mohlabi and Motala, the possibility of relapse later in life still remains. To stave off possible setbacks, the asthmatic should then always consider the impact their surroundings (and the triggers it contains) have on their condition. It’s no surprise then, when Motala says this also has implications for the career they choose.

October 2010

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health

angel’s kiss CHAREEN BOAKE investigates birthmarks.

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October 2010

on the depth of these vessels, appear as pink, red or blue marks. The most common vascular marks are harmless macular or flat stains, usually pink in colour and called “angel’s kisses” or “stork bites” because of their appearance on the forehead, eyelids, nose, lip or back of the neck. These birthmarks tend to darken when babies cry or their temperature is raised. Marks on the face usually disappear by the age of two while the marks on the back of the neck may last until adulthood.

Hemangiomas are flat or raised marks that usually appear a few weeks after birth. Strawberry hemangiomas are bright red raised lesions commonly occurring on the face, scalp, back or chest. They grow quite rapidly and often disappear between the ages of five to 10.

Cavernous hemangiomas appear as a red-blue spongy tissue and the borders aren’t as visible as they are with other hemangiomas. They grow rapidly in the first six months and then slow down and often disappear by the age of 10. Port-wine stains are flat purple-to-red marks usually occurring on the face. Lighter port-wine stains may disappear but, in most cases, they remain and get bigger as the child grows, sometimes also thickening and

darkening to form “cobblestones” or lumps. Port-wine stains near the eye and cheek accompanied by seizures at birth as well as eye problems, may be evidence of a neurological disorder called Sturge-Weber syndrome.

should I be worried?

Sister Bronwyn Lendrum from Netcare Stork’s Nest in Sunninghill says “most babies are born with some form of birthmark; in the majority of cases these are hormonal and usually disappear within two years”. Johannesburg-based GP Dr Paula Smart says that if there is scarring or the birthmark looks more than just cosmetically unappealing, she would refer the child for further medical advice but she prefers to simply monitor them for two years. Dr Michael Jameson, a Johannesburg-based dermatologist agrees that if the birthmark is uncomfortable, prone to bleeding, situated near the mouth and nose or obstructing vision you should consult your doctor or dermatologist. He further suggests consulting your doctor about any concerns you may have because it’s not always possible to see whether a birthmark poses a danger by mere surface observation. Certain birthmarks can present themselves subcutaneously.

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PHOTOGRAPH: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

atches of discoloured skin on a baby’s body, present at birth or appearing a few months thereafter, are called birthmarks. Most birthmarks are painless and harmless, usually fading over time and sometimes even disappearing completely.

Pigmented birthmarks can appear anywhere on the body and the most common types, café au lait spots and Mongolian spots, are caused by dilated capillaries near the surface of the skin. Café au lait spots are salmon-coloured patches that tend to darken when exposed to the sun and usually fade as the child gets older. (When these spots present in groups of six or more, however, it may be a sign of a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis type 1.)

Mongolian spots are more prevalent on darker skinned babies, bluish in colour and resembling bruises, they often appear on the buttocks, scrotum, lower back and sometimes on the trunk or arms. Moles are also considered birthmarks. They often darken after sun exposure and during the teen years and pregnancy. Certain moles can increase in size or may become cancerous.

Vascular birthmarks are caused by an accumulation of blood vessels below the skin’s surface and, depending

dealing with difference

ut of step MARINA ZIETSMAN looks at dyspraxia,

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

a developmental coordination difference.

ifteen-year-old Victoria Biggs describes life with her “hidden handicap as lying diagonally in a parallel universe – I’m always slightly out of step with everyone else... always with a skewed view of things,” she says in her book Caged in Chaos, a Dyspraxic Guide to Breaking Free.

Dyspraxia, otherwise known as developmental coordination disorder, is the difficulty of planning and executing gross and fine motor tasks in the correct sequence. It is found in approximately 10 percent of the population, with two percent experiencing severe problems. It’s also more common in boys than girls. Bruce Bradfield, a clinical psychologist in Cape Town says, “The condition is diagnosed when impairment in coordination has a marked negative impact on the child’s interpersonal and educational functioning.

This motor coordination impairment must be beyond what might be expected given the child’s measured level of intelligence,” says Bradfield.

Children with developmental dyspraxia appear clumsy, uncoordinated, accidentprone and their movements don’t come fluidly or automatically. Jennifer Luther, Lauren Quintal and Lisa Halland, occupational therapists (OT) at the Child Integration Centre (CIC) in Johannesburg, say this is because “there is a breakdown in the transmission of the message from the brain to the muscles”.

They add “these children will have difficulty when first learning a task. The child may approach a task awkwardly and may use inefficient methods to do so. They will be unable to generalise learned skills to other tasks, such as transferring print writing skills to cursive writing.”

Symptoms of dyspraxia are evident from an early age (see “reading the signs”).

For the Johannesburg parents of sevenyear-old Sean*, the road to diagnosis has been riddled with confusion. “I was pregnant with my third child (Sean is the middle son), when Sean’s behaviour started changing.

He would walk and simply collapse. He could not hold things. At first we thought there was something wrong with his legs or hips, but tests showed he was fine,” says his mom, Karen*. Then they thought perhaps Sean was vying for attention because of the new baby, but his symptoms were too severe to be attention seeking. His speech was also delayed and he couldn’t, for example, do simple puzzles. At one stage they were convinced he was autistic. magazine durban

When he turned three, his parents took him to a neuro-developmental paediatrician and an OT. The diagnosis given was sensory integration disorder, but no mention of dyspraxia was made. “I read an article on the disorder by accident and then googled it. That was the start of his being correctly diagnosed.”

schooling options As dyspraxia is a developmental disorder, the symptoms change as a child grows older, says Bradfield. Many of its symptoms are also indicative of a number of other frequently diagnosed disorders, such as ADHD or autism, which often leads to misdiagnosis.

says Yvonne. Francine sees the school’s social worker to help her deal with her social awkwardness and to help her adjust to new teachers when she changes grades.

moving forward Whatever the severity of their dyspraxia, life can be a daily battle for these children, who are aware of their condition and often describe themselves as feeling out of place and incompetent. The OT team at the CIC say that in order to preserve their integrity the child may appear stubborn, inflexible and uncooperative. “They may feel frustrated as they know what they want done, but cannot achieve it,” they say.

A child with a learning difference uses up to 10 percent more brain power, so praise effort and not output.

Sean was eventually moved from the mainstream nursery school and placed in a special-needs school. “He is cognitively on par with his age group, but his fine motor skills are two years behind those of his peers,” says his mom. “The school was a life-saver for us. For the first time he has shown an interest in learning and sings nursery rhymes. It has given Sean a real confidence boost and, luckily, he carries that good self-esteem outside the classroom.”

Even though a special-needs school has done wonders for Sean, and his mom believes that he will most likely complete his education at such an institution, there are dyspraxic children coping in mainstream schools. Seven-year-old Francine* attends a mainstream school in Cape Town. Both her Grade 1 and 2 teachers believe she’ll continue to grow at this level of education.

Francine has also been misdiagnosed with ADHD, ADD and Asperger’s syndrome, but once dyspraxia was identified, her parents and teachers could constructively assist her. “Francine is the only learner in her class, for example, that uses a computer to complete homework and assignments,” says her Grade 2 teacher Yvonne*.

Both Yvonne and Francine’s Grade 1 teacher say her biggest challenge is adapting socially. “She’s intelligent, but shy and introverted and sensory-sensitive.

If there is too much noise, she simply shuts down. But she has learned to tell me when she feels over-stimulated, and she then moves to a quiet corner of the classroom,”

But there are ways to help a dyspraxic child. Occupational therapists use a sensory integrative approach, which improves the child’s ability to interpret sensory information and ultimately helps to improve movement and their ability to learn new movements and tasks. Extramurals such as swimming, horse riding and judo are helpful for the same reasons. Both Sean and Francine, for example, love swimming, especially

underwater, most likely because of their sensory-avoidance nature.

Bradfield says the treatment of dyspraxia needs to be multifaceted. “On the one level, treatment needs to be aimed at educating the child and their families regarding the nature of the disorder,” explains Bradfield.

“The second level aims at enabling the child’s development of coordination by putting goalorientated treatment structures in place, which include OT, speech and language therapy and perceptual motor training.” The third level Bradfield says, would focus on helping the child cope with the range of interpersonal difficulties dyspraxia can cause.

To this end Bradfield suggests play therapy.

Ultimately therapy starts at home. “We try first of all not to treat Sean differently, but it’s hard sometimes,” says Karen. “When his brothers play cricket outside, he knows he can’t join them, so we make a plan to keep him busy. It’s all about patience, structure, practice and more patience.” The experts say a child with a learning difference uses up to 10 percent more brain power, so praise effort and not output. As Victoria Biggs advises: “Try to teach in a way that your child can understand. He can’t modify the way he thinks, so you will have to modify the way you explain. Different minds cannot work in ordinary ways.” *Names have been changed

reading the signs the symptoms may include… by three years old • babies are irritable and have feeding problems • slow to achieve expected developmental milestones • skip the crawling stage and progress from the “bottom shuffle” to walking preschool – three to five years old • high levels of motor activity and excitability • easily distressed • bump into objects and fall over • hands flap when running • difficulty with pedalling a tricycle • lack of sense of danger • continued messy eating • avoiding toys such as puzzles • poor motor skills – can’t hold a pencil • lack of imaginative play • isolation within the peer group • left- or right-handedness not established • persistent language difficulties • sensitive to sensory stimulation • limited response to verbal instruction • limited concentration by seven years old • difficulty adapting to structured school routine • difficulty in physical education lessons • slow at dressing • barely legible handwriting • immature drawing and copying skills • limited concentration skills • literal use of language • inability to remember more than two or three instructions at once • slow completion of work • high levels of motor activity • hand flapping/clapping when excited • easily distressed • inability to form relationships with other children • sleeping difficulties • reporting symptoms such as migraine Courtesy Dyspraxia Foundation UK, dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk

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when your child is different Parenting a child with disabilities is a daunting challenge, but

There’s no formula for dealing with this, no magic path.

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earing for the first time that “your child has a disability is like a klap in the face,” says Adi de Hoop, 49, founder of the SpiritedKidz LearnsPace school and family education centre in Rivonia.

She suspected a problem when she started contractions at 24 weeks. “I’m well informed, so when Nimoe was born two days later, and the paediatrician said an echography of her brain showed all was fine, I wasn’t convinced. The fantastic healing mechanism of the brain means

it takes two or three months to show damage, and I insisted on other checks while she was still in hospital. (Tip to other parents: it’s hugely expensive to have these as an outpatient later.)”

Nimoe has cerebral palsy with complications. “Nothing prepares you for hearing it, absolutely nothing, even if you’ve intellectually grasped it,” she says flatly. “On a deep emotional level, your very identity is under attack.”

“It’s all so alienating, so terrifying,’ says Durban photographer Angela Buckland,

48, whose son Nikki was diagnosed as “low-functioning” at three months. “One of the hardest parts is accepting there can be no proper recovery – it’s learning to let go, and just do your best.”

“I wept when the specialist said Tariq had autism,” murmurs Liza Aziz, 41, Durban filmmaker and founder of Action in Autism and its early learning intervention and resource centres. “But I also resolved never to give up on our son. And so began one of the most painfully challenging but also deeply rewarding journeys of our lives.”

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

there are steps that can help you cope, says GLYNIS HORNING.

learning to cope

let yourself grieve

No two children with disabilities are alike, even if they have the same condition, says Jenny Head, principal of Pathways special needs centre for children with severe disabilities in Durban, and mother of a son with cerebral palsy. “So there’s no formula for dealing with this, no magic path. Every parent must find what works best for them and their particular child, family, and social and financial situation. But knowing certain things, and being able to find support, can make a major difference to how you cope.”

When you discover your child has a disability, you go through the same stages as with a death, says Jenny – denial, anger, blame, guilt, questioning why you, and fear you won’t cope. “You’ve lost the child you thought you’d have, your dreams for their future and yours, and your way of life.”

The stages don’t follow the same order for everyone, but it’s vital you let yourself go through them all, says Adi. “Because I’d anticipated what was coming, I didn’t go through denial. I just said ‘Okay, this

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is what it is, so what can I do to make things better?’ And I didn’t grieve properly – there wasn’t time, with a screaming, very demanding child and work to take care of. Eight years on, I’m still often an emotional wreck.”

Relatives and people in society often don’t know what to do or say when a family has a disabled child, and the embarrassment they feel often blocks them from offering helpful support to the family, says Stellenbosch psychology professor Leslie Swartz, author of Able-Bodied:

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parenting

It’s one of the most painfully challenging but also deeply rewarding journeys of our lives.

Scenes from a Curious Life (Zebra Press) and co-author with researchers Kathleen McDougall and Amelia van der Merwe of a photographic book on disabled children

by Angela Buckland, Zip Zip My Brain Harts (HSRC).

“With other big life challenges, there’s often a beginning and an end to the difficulties, so it’s possible to imagine future closure and acceptance,” he says. “But with a child with a disability, parents have a long journey ahead of them with no end in sight – it’s a life-long journey, and brings a change to every aspect of family life. At each stage of the child’s development, parents may experience a new sense of loss as they think about what they would have been experiencing had their child not been disabled. But they may also become more conscious of positive aspects.”

It can be hard to get a balance, and parents are often encouraged to focus only on the “specialness” of the child instead of expressing difficult emotions like anger, frustration and disappointment. But bottling emotions is unhealthy – they need to be released.

“Most mothers cope much as I did,” says Liza. “We cry, we shout, we fight and we busy ourselves in action!”

Getting support from parents on the same journey can be a lifeline not only for coping emotionally, but for negotiating what Adi calls “the minefield” of professional and alternative health practitioners you encounter along the way. “Some are very good, but some are not, and you’re so desperate you’ll try anything,” she says.

“Other parents can be invaluable, tipping you off about who is who, and offering practical advice and support.”

The best way to find parents in your area is to ask a medical professional. “Some say they can’t share patients’ contact details for professional reasons, but if you hear that, leave!” says Adi. “Decent doctors will gladly put you in touch.”

You can also contact organisations specialising in your child’s condition (see “support groups” on page 36).

start intervention early Get professional help the instant you think there may be a problem with your child, says Jenny. Take them to be assessed at your clinic, local hospital or a children’s assessment centre, and always get a second opinion.

find support Unburden with others in a similar situation, advises Swartz. “No-one understands as they do. Parents often feel isolated because of the extra work and financial load, and it can be socially awkward to go out.”

It’s common for relationships to crumble under the strain. “If a marriage has a slight crack, a child like this can destroy it,” says Jenny. Some fathers are involved and supportive, but many men ignore their emotions rather than deal with them, and can’t handle the sense of failure or the demands of parenting a special needs child. Some escape in affairs or walk out.

Once you settle on a professional you are comfortable with, do whatever therapy they advise. “It may not cure your child, but it will help them be the best they can be,” she says. Quality of life is not about abilities, but feeling safe, comfortable, well and loveable; being engaged in meaningful activities; learning as much as possible; and having achievements to be proud of, however small – even just being able to tie shoelaces.

“Keep reminding yourself of this,” Jenny urges.

help them be their best In an age when medical science seems to have answers for so much, it can be hard to accept that there is no cure for your child’s condition. It’s one thing to explore realistic options, but you can unnecessarily prolong

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magazine durban

– physical, sensory and intellectual, says Tammy Greyling, an occupational therapist at Pathways Pretoria. “Show them how to do as much as they can, from dressing to using the toilet – keep showing them over and over if need be.” Break down tasks and ideas, and use short sentences, simple words, gestures and pictures.

Don’t expect too much or too little, and give your child the chance to do things themselves before stepping in, she adds. “Don’t criticise mistakes, encourage them to try again. And be sure to give them the chance to help you, even just sorting socks – everyone likes feeling useful and appreciated.”

help yourself

your grief and pain – and strain your finances – by following false hopes, say she and Adi. These hopes don’t always spring from unscrupulous professionals being out to make money. Professor Swartz and his co-researchers report that doctors too can struggle to accept that there is no cure.

Some then “heroically try to do more and more investigations to find a cause or cure when they suspect – or even know – this quest is hopeless”. Others try to protect themselves from a sense of helplessness and despair by trying to cut off emotionally.

“What we need to learn from are those encounters where both the parents and the doctor get it right,” they conclude.

“Where it’s not about fixing problems, but about working together in a constructive, respectful and helpful way.”

Unburden with others in a similar situation, no-one understands as they do.

Finally, look after yourself – for your child’s sake and your family, but also because you too have rights and needs, says Swartz. “In later life, parents who sacrifice themselves entirely for their children can become a burden to them, relying on them in return.”

Accept any offers of help, and take time for yourself, even if it’s just a relaxing bath while someone else watches your child.

Brothers and sisters can feel neglected or be embarrassed by society’s prejudice, especially when they are adolescents. But some become more emotionally mature and compassionate – one of Jenny’s daughters has become a counsellor and works with children with disabilities. “It’s very hard having a child with a disability,” Jenny says, “but they will always enrich your life.”

If you find you can’t cope, and have signs of stress and depression (problems sleeping and eating, constant irritability, headaches), or still feel angry or guilty, it’s vital you take action, says Swartz. “Talk it over with a trusted friend or doctor or get counselling.”

“There comes a point where you must stop looking for an answer and just get on with it,” says Angie. Although each child is different, most respond best to intensive tutoring and stimulation. Depending on the extent of the disability, your child may be able to fit into a mainstream school or have to attend a school for children with special needs.

You can also learn to stimulate your child yourself in different areas of development

real relating how to support parents with a child with a learning difference or special needs • Don’t stare or comment, they notice.

• Don’t look the other way – make eye contact and smile.

• Don’t give advice, they’ve heard it all.

• Don’t offer well-meaning platitudes (“special parents are chosen to parent special children”); it’s patronising and can belittle their loss.

• Do give practical help if you see they need it.

• Do offer to do chores like shopping for them.

• Do offer to sit with the child while they go out, or simply take a bath or nap.

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October 2010

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parenting

park ’n play Children have the right to play, but how can we create safe spaces in our neighbourhoods for them to do just that? HEATHER BROOKES finds out.

policy on play Early this year, at a nationwide consultation in Johannesburg organised by the International Play Association, South African children’s organisations met to discuss conditions that prevent children from being able to play. The meeting

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was part of a worldwide consultative initiative across eight countries, to promote Article 31 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

Article 31 states that “every child has the right to rest and leisure, to engage in play and recreational activities appropriate to the age of the child and to participate freely in cultural life and the arts.”

Whatever their culture or economic group, South African children have one thing in common: they do not have sufficient safe public play spaces.

In addition it says that “member governments shall respect and promote the right of the child to participate fully in cultural and artistic life and shall encourage the provision of appropriate and equal opportunities for cultural, artistic, recreational and leisure activity.”

At this meeting, delegates identified the key challenges in guaranteeing South African children the right to play.

The greatest challenge highlighted was a shortage of safe public spaces for children to play and insufficient resources to develop and maintain them.

Delegates stressed the importance of play in children’s lives and the need for everyone – both government and

ordinary citizens – to take responsibility for ensuring that children can play in safe environments.

The International Play Association advocates the critical importance of play in children’s lives. Play helps children learn about themselves and the world around them. It develops social skills, language and vocabulary, logical thinking and problem-solving abilities. Play is key to a child’s imagination and creativity. It gives children the chance just to be, or to be who or whatever they want to be.

Organisations such as the Active Learning Libraries point out that there are different kinds of play. Creating a balance of these is essential. Creative play such as making things; imaginative play like make-believe and role play; active play that involves physical activities to develop coordination – these are all essential for a child’s physical and mental health and development. A balance between playing alone and with others is also important.

the economics of creative play The nature of play, access and parental involvement differs across culture and economic groups. Some cultures expect intensive parental involvement, while others tend more towards leaving children to engage in free play.

Parental participation can stimulate and enhance the benefits of play. Free play without parental involvement allows children to expand their imaginations and choose their own activities that may not conform to any rules, said experts at the Johannesburg conference.

How much does economic situation play a part?

Children from upper-, middle- and low-income groups may

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a

s children, my friends and I used to spend hours playing in the garden, riding our bicycles in the street and playing with the other children in our neighbourhood. Most properties had no walls, and we could move freely among our friends’ houses. We were not aware of our parents keeping an eye on us, although they probably did. We felt carefree. Being safe hardly entered our heads – except for warnings about watching out for the occasional car while riding our bicycles in the road. Save for the weekly school sports practice and the inevitable piano lesson, we were free to play, and play we did.

Today, our children have somewhat different experiences. Seldom do children enjoy the kind of carefree communal play we once had. Reading this article, my 12-year-old daughter exclaims: “You got to walk to your friend’s house? That’s so unfair. Why can’t I?” For most parents, keeping their children safe is a key concern. We don’t allow our children to walk alone to friends’ houses or go to the park without adult supervision.

We avoid parks and other open spaces that may not be safe. At home, we make sure the doors are locked, and we keep an eye on our children when they play outside.

Concerns about safety have for the most part curtailed free social play.

all have insufficient opportunities for play, but not always for the same reasons. Parents of more privileged children tend to overload their offspring with structured activities and often do not allow enough time for free play. In contrast, there are also many children in poor communities in South Africa who have become heads of households with adult responsibilities. Poverty means no or minimal access to toys and books as well as technological play resources that give children advantages they need to cope in a technological world.

Experts at the conference concluded that we haven’t done enough to address children’s opportunities for play in our country. Whatever their culture or economic group, South African children have one thing in common: they do not have sufficient safe public play spaces.

piloting parks City planners do not always take children’s needs into account. Lack of funds and public support has resulted in a number of recreational facilities becoming derelict or being closed. When the Durban municipality closed Umgeni River Bird Park in 2009, concerned parents got together under the banner of The Child Friendly City Campaign to have the park reopened. As a result, June 2010 saw the gates opening again.

Durban parents are now campaigning to revamp and reclaim the city’s parks. The eThekwini Parks Department has agreed to make Bulwer Park a pilot for rejuvenating other parks. “This pilot project plus the opening of the bird park shows that citizen action works,”

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says Dr Mary Galvin, a member of The Child Friendly City Campaign.

Around the country, communities are attempting to reclaim public green spaces and make them appealing and safe. One such success story is the revamping of George Hay Park in Parkview, Johannesburg. Residents have succeeded in making their local park into an attractive, child-friendly and safe space. Michéle Karamanof, who lives in Parkview, has been one of the driving forces behind turning George Hay Park into a well-maintained and appealing area used by residents and children on a daily basis. And “it’s when residents use the parks, that security concerns fall away,” says Galvin.

Karamanof and other residents, along with the Parkview Residents’ Association, worked closely with Johannesburg City Parks to have the playground equipment renovated and to put safe surfaces under it all. An existing toilet block was fixed up and fenced to prevent vandalism and theft.

City Parks funds a janitor for the toilet block seven days a week, and services the park on a regular basis.

“It has been all about creating ongoing relationships with City Parks and residents,” says Karamanof. The Residents’ Association and the church opposite the park fund a park keeper three days a week to keep the park tidy and clean. Parkview Residents’ Association raises money for the park by holding community fun days there. A combination of energetic people, an active residents’ association and local stakeholders cooperating with local municipal structures is the way to go, says Karamanof.

on your turf So what can parents in other areas do? Cynthia Morrison, the director of Active Learning Libraries in South Africa and president of the International Toy Library Association, gives some useful advice: “The time spent playing with your children or making the time to take them somewhere to play and just being there with them means so much and builds a stronger relationship.

“Find out about interesting and safe areas that together provide a good range of activities – playground equipment; rocks or safe trees to climb; sand; space for ball games; place to ride a push bike, trike or bike; an area for skateboarding or roller skating; or a stream to walk along on a dusty, natural path – as at the Sandton Field and Study Centre,” she says. “Lobby the municipality for more of these areas and to clean up existing ones. Volunteer to clean them up yourself and involve your children, their schools and other families in the community.”

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extramurals

fighting fit SIMONE GRAY guides parents through the different martial arts available to children.

t

he successful eighties movie Karate Kid, featuring Ralph Macchio, certainly had a generation of teenage girls’ hearts a flutter – and a wave of young boys trying to catch flies with chopsticks while practising the crane kick. The remake, featuring Jaden Smith (Will Smith’s son) and Jackie Chan will kick off on South African big screens as this issue hits the streets.

It will no doubt boost a whole new generation’s interest in the martial arts. And,

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while 12-year-old Jaden might succeed in making these disciplines newly cool, there are a number of other reasons this old (and I do mean old!) physical activity is great exercise for children.

Jeanette Bensted-Smith, a paediatric physiotherapist from The Children’s Therapy Centre in Petervale, says that martial arts have an effect on four key aspects of children’s physical development: strength, cardiovascular endurance, balance and coordination. “The sustained hold positions in different stances help develop the strength of the trunk and limbs,” says Jeanette. Forward punches and kicks also

help to develop the strength of the shoulder and pelvic girdles, and contribute to the development of bilateral integration. Martial arts emphasise control rather than speed during movements, which means children recruit the correct muscles rather than compensating by rushing the movement (and using the incorrect muscles as it is easier). The total body workout improves cardiovascular fitness, and kicking while maintaining a good upright position as well as sustaining different stance positions naturally improves balance. Finally coordination is developed through different sequences of punches and kicks.”

Pat Gordon, a Cape Town occupational therapist who has worked with children with learning differences for the past 25 years, often recommends a martial art as an extramural activity because of the many benefits and its limited expense (compared to something like horse riding, for example).

She says, “The exercises build up muscle tone and core stability and at the same time involve a lot of reciprocal activity, which develops the use of both sides of the body and is certainly beneficial to children.”

No matter what martial art is chosen it can be used as a powerful educational and personal-development tool. Coupled with

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM, ILLUSTRATIONS: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

A black belt is a white belt that never gave up!

the emphasis on discipline and respect (for the teacher, the parents and the participant), which lie at the centre of all martial arts training, each session provides a focused and fun form of physical exercise, a chance to gain self-confidence, learn social skills, self-control and worthwhile lessons in self-defence.

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knowing your karate chop from your judo throw There are a variety of disciplines from all over the world available on our shores. Japanese martial arts include aikido, judo, jujitsu and karate to name the most prevalent. The most popular Korean martial arts export is taekwondo, while kung fu is the well-known

martial art that originated in China. The newest kid on this ancient block is the AfroBrazilian capoeira. While detailed information about each type is best demonstrated by experienced masters, a brief introduction of the above styles will give you an idea of the martial art that might best suit your child.

aikido What distinguishes aikido (way of harmony) from most other martial arts is its nonviolent character. This is a defensive martial art that aims to neutralise an incoming attack through a variety of techniques

including joint locks, immobilisation pins, and throws to bring the attacker under control – preferably without damaging either person. Unlike many other martial arts, there is absolutely no element of competition in traditional aikido training.

There are no tournaments, no matches, no winners or losers.

You can start aikido from the age of five or six years old, however Bruce Allemann, Fourth Dan Aikido of Fish Hoek Aikido Club in Cape Town, recommends starting at about nine years old, unless separate training is available for the five to eight years age group.

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extramurals

You should be able to judge the safety by watching how well children are falling without mishap – and loving it.

judo In contrast to aikido, judo (gentle way) is a martial art primarily focused on competition and is based on moves similar to wrestling. Points are awarded to competitors based on techniques, pins, and overall opponent control. During judo competitions, opponents are often in close physical contact, so children interested in judo should be made aware that this is a physical, demanding and, at times, intimate discipline.

Michael Job (Sixth Dan) from The Judokan, a judo club situated in Wynberg, Cape Town, says, “Despite the physical contact, injuries are extremely rare, compared with other contact and even non-contact sports. Beginners are taught to fall properly, and you should be able to judge the safety by watching how well children are falling without mishap – and loving it!”

Coaches prefer to take children of at least six years or older. Many young children train only once a week, but twice a week is preferable, certainly for teenagers and seniors.

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Martin Dixon, chairman of the Ju-jitsu Association, says the recommended starting age is four or five years.

Commitment to training is essential. He says, “The difference between a white belt and a black belt is that a black belt is a white belt that never gave up!”

karate Karate (empty hand) is perhaps the most well-known martial art. Although it uses both aggressive and defensive moves, karate stresses defensive tactics. In karate you will use throwing, punching and blocking.

A child can begin karate at the age of four years old. The club cost varies but be aware there are a variety of tournaments, gradings and gashukus (training camps) to stimulate students’ interest. These activities form the foundation of their development and personal enrichment in karate, but they do add to the overall cost.

Training usually starts at twice a week for 45 minutes to an hour depending on age.

Gradings occur on Saturday mornings every three months and the camps and tournaments happen during the year.

jujitsu

taekwondo

Jujitsu (compliant art) is one of the oldest styles of martial arts. It is based on unarmed self-defence and involves sparring.

Although jujitsu was developed almost 400 years ago, its basic purpose remains the same: to defend yourself against armed or unarmed attackers. Although the primary focus is self-defence, clubs also cater for those who wish to do jujitsu to keep fit, and even those who want to learn something new and have fun while at it. Jujitsu works on physical and mental development by teaching agility, timing, flexibility and a knowledge of the body.

Taekwondo (the way of the foot and fist), considered the most competitive martial art, is characterised by impressive displays of high standing and jumping kicks as well as punches and fast footwork. It combines self-defence, sport, exercise and meditation with the aim of developing physically, mentally and spiritually. Taekwondo was originally created for the military and holds onto that tradition with brutally effective techniques for practical self-defence, although this training is coupled with moral and ethical best practice to ensure skills learned are not misused. magazine durban

Taekwondo is popular with people of both genders and of many ages. Children from the age of five years old are welcome at selected dojangs (training halls).

kung fu Kung Fu (well done) is a multifaceted martial art that includes duan quan, tai chi chen and black tiger kung fu. The physical aspects include throws, sharp blows, holds, chops, grappling and other techniques of selfdefence. The philosophical teachings of this martial art combine threads of Buddhism and Taoism, and it teaches children selfdefence, self-respect and self-awareness through discipline and hard work.

The different styles of kung fu accept students at different ages. Ian Galvin of the Chinese Martial Arts and Health Centre in Durban recommends a minimum starting age of seven years. The average time of training is usually between 30 and 45 minutes, twice a week.

to music and song. The game is fluid and frenetic, ranging from the acrobatic to the defensive. It is characterised by extensive use of groundwork, as well as sweeps, kicks and blocks. The music and fluid motion has made this the fastest growing martial art in South Africa. Children are taught strength, flexibility, coordination and self-defence.

Sofia Stathopoulos from Capoeira Cordão de Ouro SA says, “Children may begin at three or four years old, although they usually start at around six years of age. Usually children do a one-hour long class a week. She adds, “What sets capoeira apart is the holistic combination of movement, dance, music and culture.

Children benefit from capoeira because it allows them to develop a strong sense of confidence and discipline in a highly creative and fun environment.”

capoeira

PHOTOGRAPH: CORDÃO DE OURO SOUTH AFRICA – capoeiracdo.co.za

Capoeira combines aspects of self-defence, dance and acrobatics. It was created by African slaves in Brazil during the 16th Century. It is the most laid-back in attitude but the most vibrant of the martial arts discussed here. Participants form a circle (roda) and take turns sparring in pairs in the centre

A group of four and five year olds learn capoeira with Contra-Mestre Espirrinho

why they like it…

“I love it the best. It is fun. I like the jumping, playing and balancing.”

– four-year-old Nurah, who does capoeira “I like the music and the funny games.”

– Sarah, five years old, who also does capoeira “I like doing katas and the boxing. I feel healthier and like the exercise. Before I was always so shy and scared of people, and now I’m not so much any more.”

– Sakeenah, 12 years old, who does karate

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October 2010

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resource

art & soul Creative therapies have become an effective way to treat wounds that medicine just can’t reach. By LUCILLE KEMP

play therapy what it is… Play therapy uses games and toys to help children express their emotions, thoughts, wishes and needs. It works particularly well with children from three to four years old. Rather than having to explain what is bothering them, play in a non-threatening environment allows the child to communicate at their own level and pace. The child is thus able to feel at ease about getting in touch with feelings, which she may not be aware of or may be too scared to admit to or face.

The therapist actively participates in the process assimilating stressful experiences from the child’s life in order to prompt the child to deal with them, says Stellenboschbased play therapist Helene van Niekerk. A play therapy session usually involves activities to facilitate sensory awareness, helping them become more aware of their emotions and thoughts about an event or something that they might be worrying

what it is… Art therapy gives the child a chance to express and explore their thoughts and feelings through producing their own artwork. Using art as a means of communication and self-expression is less threatening than using just words. The child’s artwork forms the focus of discussions between the child and therapist as it represents the child’s thoughts and feelings. The sessions should be led by the child at their pace so that they have the chance to explain what their artwork means or represents. case in point… Johannesburg-based art psychotherapist Samantha Davis tells how art therapy helped a seven-year-old boy with emotional and behavioural problems to identify his emotions in a useful way – as he found he could control the art materials he was using, he also found control of his emotions. Another eight-year-old boy living on the autism spectrum learned to communicate non-verbally through his free play with the art materials. who it helps… Art therapy provides an opportunity for children to play; it is confidence building and self validating. Insight, self-awareness and self-reflection develop as the child is given the freedom to experiment or creatively test ideas. Art therapy teaches the child creative problem solving, especially when they feel their artwork has turned out “wrong”. It has proved to be helpful for children with depression, emotional and behavioural problems, autism, ADHD, developmental delay and those with learning difficulties. for more information… visit arttherapy.co.za

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about subconsciously. These activities include smelling different things, touching a variety of textures, working with music, clay, paint, stories, puppets or sand.

case in point… Helene describes how play therapy helped an eight-year-old experiencing separation anxiety. Helene asked her to make her sadness out of clay while she had her own clay puppet talk to the child’s “sadness”. This helped the therapist discover why she was feeling sad when she was separated from her parents and enabled the therapist to talk to the child about what she could do to empower herself. Play therapy helped the girl to discover what she was feeling and why, and helped her to feel more in control of her emotions and behaviour.

who it helps… Children experiencing anger, loss, divorce, crisis and trauma, relocation, hospitalisation and chronic illness; those who suffer from anxiety, depression, ADHD and autism, and those with a wide variety of social, emotional and learning problems.

for more information… visit associationplaytherapy.org.za or playtherapy.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

art therapy

poetry therapy drama therapy what it is… Drama therapy concentrates on play and improvisation, allowing the child to express their feelings and emotions in an unthreatening environment.

The two main techniques used in drama therapy are role-play – where something in the story line relates to the child’s situation – and mask-making – the mask allows the child to hide behind the created character making it easier to face uncomfortable emotions. case in point… Johannesburg-based drama therapist Kirsten Meyer spent six months working with a group of HIV-positive children aged seven to 11 years to develop their emotional, social, and mental abilities. Kirsten describes how the role-playing gave the children enough distance from their HIV status to allow them to voice it for the first time, and vent over the issue of secrecy and disclosure within the group, as well as in their lives. who it helps… Through role-playing in a group setting, drama therapy can be good for a child’s social skills, teaching them how to tolerate others and how to better react to others and their differences. It is also helpful for children who have suffered from abuse of any kind. Allowing them to wear a mask can be a safe way for these children to bring their problem to the fore and to confront their emotions. It increases self-esteem and general confidence, builds up self-defence mechanisms and reduces disruptive behaviour. for more information… visit dramatherapy.co.za

music therapy what it is… Music therapy uses music-making as a means of communication and emotional expression. This is achieved through structured activities such as singing, listening, playing instruments, composition, improvisation, movement to music, music and imagery as well as talking about the music or experiences in sessions. case in point… The Music Therapy Community Clinic was invited by the Cape Flats suburb of Heideveld to offer music therapy sessions to children who were dealing with a death in the family, were witnesses to violence, subject to physical, emotional or sexual abuse or had an absent parent. The various musical activities in the music-therapy programme helped the children deal with their trauma and process emotionally disturbing issues. It empowered them to deal with difficult life experiences in the future. who it helps… Music therapy aims to improve a child’s emotional and social abilities. Music therapists also work with children with learning disabilities, those with mental illnesses, the mentally and physically handicapped, the terminally ill and the traumatically brain injured. for more information… visit music-therapy.co.za or visit the University of Pretoria website up.ac.za

magazine durban

what it is… The poetry therapist assists the child in coming to terms with and expressing the meaning of their experience or disease by using and creating poetry. The focus is on the message and meaning of the poem rather than the words. Poetry therapy uses the rhythm, image, mood and metaphor of the poem to get through to the child but for poetry therapy to remain effective, says Clanwilliam-based poetry therapist Professor Wally Willies, “the process must be adapted to the age of the child”. For example, reading poems to a three-year-old might soothe away temper tantrums because of the rhyme and rhythm, but a 10-year-old will probably benefit from the content and style of a narrative poem. Poetry therapy trains the child to access the meaning of their own thoughts and feelings and to understand people around them. case in point… Wally describes how a four-year-old girl had become inexplicably disruptive as soon as lunch- or suppertime arrived. The counsellor and mother hit on the strategy of singing the girl’s favourite nursery rhyme “Hickory Dickory Dock” to distract her from her refusal. Wally says, “After a week of chanting this together, punctuating the rhythm with spoonfuls of food, the negative associations with disciplined eating changed through the enjoyment of rhyme, rhythm and positive anticipation.” Wally also explains how five weeks of poetry therapy helped create a more positive attitude in a 10-year-old boy who had become withdrawn and silent as a result of his parents’ divorce. Also how four sessions of poetry therapy helped an 11-year-old girl find a sense of calm and peace after she was hospitalised for a bone marrow transplant, and had become afraid of dying. who it helps… Poetry therapy will help the child to understand and make better sense of their situation, as well as their own thoughts and feelings. It is said to help those with obsessive-compulsive disorder, low self-esteem, those suffering from anger issues or any child in a circumstance where they feel emotionally overwhelmed. for more information… visit poetrytherapy.org

sandplay therapy what it is… Sandplay therapy is a non-verbal form of psychotherapy, ideal for children from the age of six years. The sand represents the unconscious. The child unknowingly recreates their unconscious in the sand. This allows them to see their issues and, once recognised, to correct these themselves. Sandplay therapy allows the child to make use of miniature figures to create their own sand stories. The miniatures represent everything in the world, from religion and race to animals. Durban-based clinical, family and marital therapist Reyhana Seedat says “the child’s sand scenes go from chaos to struggle and finally to resolution – when the meaning of the child’s unconscious thoughts become clear”. The therapist observes and does not interpret anything to the child, which allows a child’s own realisations to surface and for recovery to take place in the child’s own time. case in point… Reyhana explains how an 11-year-old girl came to her with “failure to thrive” as a result of not eating, which was brought on by problems at home. The sandplay stories she created were centred on setting the table with food but her initial choice of table from the collection of miniature figures was a coffin. After the fifth sandplay session, she made a breakthrough and chose an actual table from the miniatures on which to place the food. who it helps… Sandplay therapy frees inner feelings and memories where the child regresses to past experiences, facilitating healing. Sandplay therapy breaks down inhibitions with spontaneous play, something that comes naturally to a child.

Since sandplay is a creative form of therapy that doesn’t use talking, it allows for exploration and insight into deep emotional issues such as anger, depression, grief and for those difficult and deep-seated emotions arising from abuse. for more information… visit sandplay.co.za

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what’s on in october Things to do, places to go, ways to give back, talks and exhibitions plus loads of fun for the whole family. compiled by Tamlyn vincent

special events

28

FUN for children

32

only for parents

35

bump, baby & tot in tow

36

how to help

36

23 sat

SPECIAL EVENTS Drakensberg Boys’ Choir and the Sea World dolphins are uniting for a unique musical extravaganza.

26

ONLY FOR PARENTS

Toddler Sense Seminar

Lunch Buddies

MTN Amashova Durban Classic

Kideco Design Décor Course

Join Sister Ann Richardson and

Join

Cycling fun for the enthusiast or for

Learn how to decorate rooms to suit

guest speakers for informative talks

and help to make sandwiches for

the whole family.

your needs and your budget.

on raising toddlers.

underprivileged children.

October 2010

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

the

fight

against

hunger

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCKPHOTOS.COM

FUN FOR CHILDREN

magazine durban

October 2010

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8 friday

SPECIAL EVENTS

Rock Steady pays tribute to the guitar heroes of the ’70s and ’80s. Ends 10 October.

Time: Friday–Saturday 8pm, Sunday 3pm.

Venue: Izulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino.

Cost: R190. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

1 friday Despicable Me In this animated film, a terrible villain meets his match in three little orphaned girls when they disrupt his plans to steal the moon. Featuring the voices of Steve Carell, Will Arnett and Julie Andrews.

Opens in 3D at cinemas nationwide.

Dinner in the Dark Fun dining – because you can’t see what you’re eating – to create awareness about being blind. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Southern Sun Elangeni.

Cost: R350. Contact Juanita: 031 202 7277 or juanita@kznblind.org.za Stars in Your Eyes Impressions of great musical stars such as Bob Dylan and Meatloaf will keep audiences entertained for an evening. Also 3, 8–10 and 15–17 October.

Time: Friday–Saturday 8pm, Sunday 7pm.

Venue: Stirling Theatre, Durban North.

Cost: R80. Contact: 082 970 0002 or bookings@stirlingtheatre.co.za

9 saturday Kideco Design Décor Course Learn how to decorate rooms to suit your needs and fit your budget. Runs over three Saturdays.

Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: 23 Saffron Ave, Glen Anil. Cost: R2 500. Contact: 083 452 3363 or visit kideco.co.za Pecanwood Oktoberfest Live bands, food stalls, beer tents, camping and a chance to win tickets to Germany. Ends 10 October. Time: noon. Venue: Pecanwood Farm, Midlands. Cost: R69. Contact: 074 821 1144 or book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

12 tuesday

2 saturday Compendium Triathlon for athletes and families including triathlon and duathlon events for ages 8 and older. Time: 6:45am.

Venue: Grass Sundeck, Suncoast Casino.

Cost: from R80. Download registration at bactive.biz. Contact: 031 764 1885 or info@bactive.biz Dollhouse Miniatures and Crafts Fair showcases miniature dolls and dollhouses. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: St Thomas Church, St Thomas Lane, off Essenwood Rd, Essenwood. Cost: R5 entry. Contact Priscilla: 084 357 2988 or Sharon: 083 670 4044 Wedding Expo with prizes and giveaways.

Time: 10am–6pm. Venue: Rain Farm Game and Lodge, Esenembe Rd, Umhlali.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 032 815 1050/1, info@rainfarmgameandlodge.com or visit rainfarmgameandlodge.com

4 monday artSPACE exhibits “We are what we wear; We wear what we want to be” by Steve

19 October – Absolute ‘80s

Mandy. An exploration of fashion in our society. Ends 16 October. Time: Monday– Friday 10am–4pm, Saturday/holidays 10am–1pm. Venue: artSPACE, 3 Millar Rd, Glenwood. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 0793 or visit artspace-durban.com International Animal Week with Kloof SPCA Show your support by donating money, holding a school collection or talks on animals and pet care. Ends 10 October. Also visit Kloof SPCA on its open days. Relax in the tea garden, volunteer to help with the animals or browse in the charity stores.

2 and 30 October, 8:30am–noon. For more information on how to get involved contact Janine: 031 764 1212/3 or janine@kloofspca.co.za Poetry Africa South African and African poets host readings, performances and book launches. Ends 9 October. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre,

University of KwaZulu-Natal. Cost: R25.

Contact: 031 260 2506, 031 260 1816 or visit cca.ukzn.ac.za

5 tuesday

Bandana Day is a day of support for those suffering from leukaemia, and those who lose their hair due to chemotherapy. Buy a bandana from participating outlets. The Sunflower Fund suggests using them as gift wrap or as table napkins. Email your creative idea to tarryn@sunflowerfund.org.za. For more events visit sunflowerfund.org.za

Robin Hood Foundation Fundraiser: A Taste of Thompson Enjoy this dinnertheatre while helping to raise funds for this charity, which supplies resources to the poor and HIV/Aids affected communities in KwaZulu-Natal. Time: 6pm. Venue: Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest. Cost: R225. Contact Helen: 082 416 0660 or robinhoodfund@ telkomsa.net

6 wednesday A Taste of Thompson Barry Thompson and his guitar rock tribute returns for another season. Ends 17 October. Time: Tuesday–Saturday 7pm, Sunday 12:30pm.

Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest.

Cost: Wednesday–Saturday R190, Tuesday and Sunday R165. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za

7 thursday

1 October – Stars in Your Eyes

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October 2010

Homemakers Expo Lifestyle exhibition featuring décor trends, home improvement solutions and more. Ends 10 October. Time: Thursday–Saturday 10am–9pm, Sunday 10am–6pm. Venue: Durban Exhibition Centre. Cost: R40. Contact: 031 764 5270 Sunflower Fund and Maris Stella are exhibiting and auctioning off sunflower and smaller artworks by prep school students to raise funds. Ends 14 October.

Time: tbc. Venue: Kizo Gallery, Gateway.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 209 9426 or visit marisstella.co.za Durban Prawn Festival Over 20 of Durban’s restaurants cook their signature prawn dishes for the public, who vote for their favourites. Ends 8 October. Time: 7pm–11pm. Venue: Sunzone, Suncoast Casino. Cost: R150. Contact: 031 328 3000

National Down Syndrome Day

20 wed

It’s all in the genes, so wear jeans or a green ribbon to create awareness that Down Syndrome is a genetic condition. Make a R5 donation in support. Contact Roxanne: 0861 DOWNSA/369672

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magazine durban

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13 wednesday

17 sunday

Petersburg Quartet This Russian acapella group entertains with a variety of styles and songs over a three-course dinner. Time: 6:45pm. Venue: Durban Country Club, 101 Isaiah Ntshangase Rd, Stamford Hill.

Cost: R395. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Sea World education open day for primary school learners, parents and educators. The day highlights what is available at the Sea World education centre. Also 14 October for high school students. Time: 3pm–4:30pm. Venue: Sea World Education Centre, uShaka Marine World. Cost: free. Contact: 031 328 8195/6, education@seaworld.org.za or visit seaworld.org.za

MTN Amashova Durban Classic There’s something for all biking enthusiasts, from the marathon Pietermaritzburg to Durban ride to the family ride from Hillcrest to the Moses Mabhida Stadium. For those brave enough, there is the double challenge starting on 16 October at the Moses Mabhida Stadium at 5:30am. Time: varies. Venue: Pietermaritzburg City Hall, family ride at Hillcrest High School. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 312 8896 or visit mtncycling.co.za

16 saturday Eye Care Awareness Day offers talks by various blind sportsmen. Time: 9am.

Venue: EP Residence for the Blind, 45 Harris Crescent, Sherwood. Cost: donations welcome. Contact Juanita: 031 202 7277 or juanita@kznblind.org.za Raising Multiples seminar Parents of multiples are invited to listen to speakers on topics such as feeding multiples. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: Parklands Netcare Hospital, Overport. Cost: R75. Contact: 082 338 2625, kzn@samultiplebirth.co.za or visit samultiplebirth.co.za

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October 2010

19 tuesday Aaron McIlroy’s Unplucked promises a parade of characters to keep you laughing.

Dinner-theatre. Ends 7 November. Time: Tuesday–Saturday 7pm, Sunday 12:30pm.

Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest.

Cost: Wednesday–Saturday R190, Tuesday and Sunday R165. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za Absolute ’80s features the musical hits of this decade, from synthpop to rock by bands like Eurythmics, Depeche Mode, The Bangles, Boy George and Guns ‘n Roses. Ends 9 January. Time: varies. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: Wednesday–Saturday R120, Tuesday night and matinee R85. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za

31 October – Muddy Buddy Series

An African Christmas exhibition features unique African Christmas décor and gifts. These crafts promote and support community development. Time: tbc. Venue: African Art Centre, Florida Rd, Morningside. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 3804/5 or visit afriart.org.za

22 friday The Reach For a Dream Ladies’ Charity Golf Day Play a four-ball to make dreams

come true for children with life-threatening illnesses. Time: 7:30am. Venue: Umhlali Country Club. Cost: R300. Contact Sandra: 031 566 2220, prkzn@reachforadream. org.za or visit reachforadream.org.za Trevor Noah presents his new one-man comedy show Scratch That, with all-new material. Ends 24 October. Time: 8pm.

Venue: Izulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino.

Cost: R151. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

magazine durban

23 saturday Drakensberg Boys’ Choir and the Sea World dolphins unite for a memorable musical extravaganza. Ends 24 October.

Time: 7pm. Venue: Dolphinarium, uShaka Marine World. Cost: adults R100, children R75. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Toddler Sense Seminar in association with Toptots Join Sister Ann Richardson and guest speakers for an informative morning spent talking about toddlers. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: Nkulisa Conference Centre, Bartle Rd, Glenwood. Cost: R290.

Contact Debbie: 031 262 4962 or 082 467 8236, toddlersense@toptots.co.za or visit toddlersense.co.za Vine Budding Festival A celebration of food, wine and spring to enthrall the whole family. Time: noon. Venue: Stables Wine Estate, Nottingham Road. Cost: free entry, competition entry R125. Contact: 031 561 4007 or visit stableswine.co.za

26 tuesday 20th annual Christmas Through the Home For Christmas – handmade crafts and unique gifts. Time: 4pm–8pm. Also 27–29 October 10am–6pm, 30 October 10am–1pm. Venue: 9A Highlands Rd, Pinetown. Cost: opening night entry R20, entry R5. No children. Contact Wynanda: 083 270 1901 or Jeanita: 083 414 4388

magazine durban

“Drive for the Cause” golf day Join M-Net Cares at this fun golf day to create awareness about, and in support of, breast cancer. Includes golf fees, goodie bags, entertainment and more.

Time: 7:45am. Venue: Umhlali Country Club. Cost: R300. For more info: visit cloud9golf.co.za

29 friday Halloween at uShaka Marine World Trick or treating, fantasy dress-up, a scary maze and thrills for the whole family.

There is an especially thrilling event for teens aged 13–18 years on Saturday, 9pm–midnight. Ends 30 October. Time: 4pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R80. Contact: 031 328 8000 or book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Highway Hospice golf day Four-ball alliance in support of charity. Price includes fees and dinner. Time: tee off 11am. Venue: Royal Durban Golf Club, Greyville. Cost: R1 400. Contact Lynn: 083 735 3350 or lynn@hospice.co.za

Suncoast Casino. Cost: tbc. Contact: 031 328 3000 or visit suncoastcasino.co.za

31 sunday BSG Energade Triathlon Series Competitors of all ages can participate in this family-friendly running, swimming and cycling event. Individuals or teams can compete in age-appropriate races. Time: Kids Series 7:30am, senior race 9:30am.

Venue: Midmar Dam, Pietermaritzburg.

Cost: varies per age group. Contact Corné: 082 568 0301 or visit kidsseries.co.za or bsgenergadetriseries.co.za

Muddy Buddy Series Calling all twoperson teams to join in the family fun for this off-road African adventure. Teams will have to work together to ride, run and navigate the mud pit. Time: 8:30am.

Venue: Giba Gorge. Cost: varies. Contact B-Active Sports: 031 764 1885 or visit muddybuddy.co.za What Women Want Expo with décor, beauty, wellness, speakers, goodie bags and more. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Westville Civic Centre, 1 William Lester Dr, Westville. Cost: entry R10. Contact Tanya: 083 524 0039

30 saturday Suncoast Spice Join top spice restaurants as they challenge each other for Top Spice Chef status. Well-known radio and TV presenters will keep you entertained. Ends 31 October. Time: 10am–7pm. Venue:

Roxy learn to Surf

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FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science African Art Centre exhibits unique African Christmas décor and gifts, including beaded and embroidered crafts. Opens 19 October. Time: tbc. Venue: African Art Centre, Florida Rd, Morningside. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 3804/5 or visit afriart.org.za artSPACE Exhibitions by Steve Mandy 4–16 October, and Faye Spencer and Vulindlela Nyoni 18–30 October. Time: Monday– Friday 10am–4pm, Saturday/holidays 10am–1pm. Venue: artSPACE, 3 Millar Rd, Glenwood. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 312 0793 or visit artspace-durban.com Old Mutual MTN Sciencentre looks at science in a fun and interesting way.

Time: Monday–Thursday 9am–7pm, Friday–Saturday 9am–9pm, Sunday 9am–6pm. Venue: Upper level, Gateway.

Cost: adults R24, children R29. Contact: 031 566 8040, info@sciencentre.co.za or visit gatewaysciencecentre.co.za Warrior’s Gate MOTH Museum exhibits war memorabilia from both World Wars and battlefield relics from the Anglo-Boer and -Zulu wars. Time: Tuesday–Sunday 11am–3pm, Saturday 10am–noon. Venue: 1 Masabalala Yengwa Ave, KE Masinga Rd, Greyville. Cost: free. Contact: 031 307 3337 or visit moth.org.za

classes, talks and workshops Computer courses E-Learner, Little Learners, IT certification, Grade 1 readiness or study skills courses. Time: varies.

Venue: 125 Ridgeton Towers, 6 Aurora Dr, Umhlanga Ridge. Cost: E-Learner R2 855, Little Learners R1 800, Study Skills R1 800­­­­­.

Contact: 031 566 1110, 082 0422 556, umhlanga@computers4kids.co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za Dharma for Kids aims to teach love, compassion and wisdom. For children 5–12 years and parents. 17 October. Time: 10am– 11am. Venue: Mahasiddha Buddhist Centre, 2 Hollings Rd, Malvern. Cost: R10. Contact: 031 464 0984, info@meditateindurban.org or visit meditateindurban.org Holistic Healing for Kids focuses on mindnastics, building self-esteem and goal-setting for children 6–13 years. Every Saturday. Time: 2pm–5pm. Venue: North Beach. Cost: R200. Contact Rookaya: 031 332 9724 or rookayavawda@mweb.co.za Just Imagine Mosaics Mosaic art classes for all ages. Time: Tuesday 8:30am– 11:30am, Wednesday 6pm–9pm, Saturday or groups by arrangement. Venue: 50 Haygarth Rd, Kloof. Cost: R75. Contact: 031 764 6454, sheila.nichol@gmail.com or visit kznmosaics.co.za New Daisy Arts Studio Drawing skills, painting and sculpture lessons for anyone 6 years and older. Time: Saturday 9am–11am, Wednesday 10am–noon and 5:30pm–7:30pm. Venue: 65 Ethelbert Rd, Malvern. Cost: 6–8 years R225, 9 years and older R250. Contact: 073 540 9210 or daniella.hartman@gmail.com Roxy Learn to Surf Group or individual lessons for ages 7 and older. All surfboards,

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Old Mutual MTN Sciencentre

rash vests and wet suits provided. Every Tuesday. Time: noon–5pm. Venue: Suncoast beach. Cost: R150 per hour. Contact Alan: 076 877 5143 Tots n Pots Cooking classes for children.

Every Wednesday and Thursday. Time: 2:30pm. Venue: Crawford Preprimary, La Lucia. Cost: R85. Contact Karen: 073 631 2299 or karen@totsnpots.com Yoga for Children develops core strength and flexibility while improving concentration. Every Tuesday. Time: 2:30pm. Venue: Centre for Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North. Cost: R40.

Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@ rautenbach.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play 1000 Hills Bird Park Home to many rare and exotic birds, it also has a sweet shop and play area. Time: Tuesday–Sunday 8am–4pm. Venue: 1 Clement Stott Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: adults R25, children R15. Contact: 072 927 8242 or visit 1000hillsbirdpark.co.za Crocodile Creek See baby crocs hatching.

Open daily. Time: 9am–5pm. Guided tours at 10am, 11:30am, 12:30pm, 2pm and 3pm; feedings at 11am and 3pm.

Venue: Tongaat. Cost: adults R50, 11– 18 years R30, 4–10 years R20. Contact: 032 944 3845 or visit crocodilecreek.net CROW Gain insight into the rehabilitation of wildlife. Open last Sunday of each month.

Time: gates open 10:30am, tour starts 11am.

Venue: 2 Coedmore Ave, Yellowwood Park.

Cost: R20. Contact: 031 462 1127, info@ crowkzn.co.za or crowkzn.co.za Dangerous Creatures Face some of the world’s most poisonous reptiles, including the king cobra and Gila monster lizards.

Time: 10am–5pm daily. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R25. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za magazine durban

Duck and Deck animal farm A chance for children to touch, feel and interact with animals. Closed Mondays. Time: 9:30am– 4pm. Venue: 3 Willow Way, Assagay. Cost: R15. For more info: 031 768 1029 or visit duckanddeck.co.za KwaZulu-Natal Sharks Board Enjoy an audiovisual presentation and shark dissection, plus lifelike replicas of sharks, fish and rays. Time: Tuesday–Thursday 9am and 2pm, Sunday 2pm. Venue: 1A Herrwood Dr, Umhlanga. Cost: adults R30, children R15. Contact: 031 566 0499 or visit shark.co.za The Animal Farmyard offers daily milking demonstrations, the chance to bottle-feed newborn animals, go on pony rides and a foefie slide. Time: open daily 9am–4:30pm, milking 10:30am and 3:30pm. Venue: 3 Lello Rd, Botha’s Hill. Cost: entry R10, rides R4. Contact: 031 765 2240 or visit animalfarmyard.co.za The Barn Swallows will be returning in the last week of October for the first time since the construction of King Shaka airport.

Viewers can take their own chairs, drinks, snacks and mosquito repellent. Time: half an hour before sunset. Venue: Swallow View site, Mt Moreland, Umdloti. Cost: R10 per car. For more info: visit barnswallow.co.za Treasure Beach Explore the shoreline with a guide while learning about ecosystems.

Open to parties or groups. Time: varies.

Venue: 835 Marine Dr, Bluff. Cost: adults R35, children R20. Contact: 031 467 8507 or tbeachadmin@wessakzn.org.za Whale Watching See whales off the Durban coastline from June to November; dolphins can be seen year round.

Time: boat departs 8am. Venue: Ocean Ventures, uShaka Marine World beachfront promenade. Cost: adults R450, children R300. Contact: 086 100 1138 or visit oceanventures.co.za

family outings @tap coffee corner Savour coffee while your children enjoy the playground.

Time: Tuesday–Friday 9am–4pm, Saturday 8am–2pm. Venue: 20 MacKeurtan Ave, Durban North. Contact: 031 563 2678 or 031 563 0882 Books2You Fair Find popular titles by your favourite authors at affordable prices. 7–8 October. Time: 10am–3pm and

7:30am–2pm. Venue: Maris Stella. Also at various venues throughout October. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 907 1577, info@ books2you.co.za or visit books2you.co.za Horseback beach adventures Ride along the beach, through the bush, or take a moonlit evening ride. Time: varies.

Venue: Isipingo; directions sent on booking confirmation. Cost: varies. Contact: 084 467 0752 or horsebackbeachadventures@gmail. com or visit horsebackbeachadventures. bravehost.com Hybrid Living Parents can browse in the shops or have a meal while children play in the Grubby Knees garden. Time: 8am–4pm. Venue: 1 Old Fort Rd, Umhlali (exit 214 from highway). Contact: 032 525 5115 or visit hybridcentre.co.za Moses Mabhida Stadium offers fun activities including the Big Swing, SkyCar or a tour. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Masabalala Yengwa Ave, Stamford Hill. Cost: SkyCar adults R50, children 6–12 years R25, Big Swing R595, professional tour R75, general tour adults R20, children 6–12 years R15. Contact: 031 582 8242 or visit mosesmabhidastadium.co.za Rayz Kids World Spend the day visiting Crabby Beach, Black Skulls Treasure Cave and Rayz Gold Diggers. For children 2–10 years. Tiny tots and parents also catered for.

Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: R35. Contact: 031 328 8000 or visit ushakamarineworld.co.za The Inchanga Choo Choo travels through the scenic Valley of 1000 Hills with a stopover at Inchanga Station, where there are crafts and food for sale. Time: departs 8:30am or 12:30pm. Venue: Stoker’s Arms, Kloof Station. Cost: adults R150, children R120. Contact: 087 808 7715, 082 353 6003 or visit umgenisteamrailway.co.za

holiday activities Montessori Life Holiday Club Wholesome fun in a safe environment with old-fashioned games plus art and crafts. For ages 2–12 years. 27 September–1 October.

Time: 7:30am–noon or 5pm. Venue: 7 Little Nook, Sunningdale. Cost: varies. Contact Nicky: 072 444 7277, nicky@topschools. co.za or visit montessori-life.com Sugar Bay A-team week A holiday camp with beach, swimming and night activities, for children 7–17 years. 26 September–

27 September – 1 October – Montessori Life Holiday Club

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3 October. Time: starts Sunday 3pm. Venue: 21 Nkwazi Dr, Zinkwazi Beach. Cost: R3 775. Contact: 032 485 3778, holidays@ sugarbay.co.za or visit sugarbay.co.za

markets

The Litchi Orchard Farmer’s Market Covered market featuring live music and a children’s playground. First and third Saturday every month. Time: 9am–1pm.

Venue: Seaforth Ave, Foxhill. Contact: 084 205 6151 or jeremy@litchiorchard.co.za The Riverside Market offers high quality crafts and goods, including ceramics, woodwork, food, jigsaws and more. Proceeds go to local charities. First Sunday every month. Time: 10am–3pm.

Venue: Northern entrance of Scottburgh, Scottburgh River Mouth. Contact Sue or Tony: 039 975 3893

on stage and screen Absolute ’80s featuring musical hits of this decade, from synthpop to rock, by bands like Eurythmics and Guns ’n Roses.

19 October–9 January. Time: varies. Venue: The Barnyard Theatre, Gateway. Cost: Wednesday–Saturday R120, Tuesday night and matinee R85. Contact: 031 566 3045, gateway@barnyardtheatres.co.za or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za A Taste of Thompson Barry Thompson and his guitar rock tribute returns for another short season. 5–17 October. Time: Tuesday–Saturday 7pm, Sunday 12:30pm.

Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest.

Cost: Wednesday–Saturday R190, Tuesday and Sunday R165. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za

Despicable Me In this animated film, a terrible villain meets his match in three little orphaned girls when they disrupt his plans to steal the moon. Featuring the voices of Steve Carell and Julie Andrews. Opens 1 October in 3D in cinemas nationwide.

Drakensberg Boys’ Choir and the Sea World dolphins unite for a memorable musical extravaganza. 23–24 October. Time: 7pm. Venue: Dolphinarium, uShaka Marine World. Cost: adults R100, children R75.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 Old Mutual Music at the Lake Enjoy a picnic while your children explore the gardens. 10 October. Time:12:30pm. Venue: Durban Botanic Gardens. Cost: early birds R80, on concert day R100. Contact: 031 309 1170 or visit durbanbotanicgardens. org.za or book through ticketbreak.co.za Stars in your Eyes Impressions of great musical stars will keep audiences entertained for an evening. 1–3, 8–10 and 15–17 October. Time: Friday–Saturday 8pm, Sunday 7pm. Venue: Stirling Theatre, Durban North. Cost: R80. Contact: 082 970 0002 or bookings@stirlingtheatre.co.za

playtime and story time Books and Books children’s story time Every Saturday. Time: 10am. Venue: Shop 42 Kensington Square, 53 Kensington Dr, Durban North. Cost: free. Contact: 031 563 6288 or booksandbooks@telkomsa.net

family marketplace

Essenwood Market Fresh food, children’s activities and a range of stalls.

Every Saturday. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Essenwood Rd. Contact: 031 208 1264 or visit essenwoodmarket.com Farmer’s Market Non-refrigerated fresh produce. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: Jimmy Bellows Sport Field, Westville (Thursday), Autumn Drive, Umhlanga (Wednesday), Amanzimtoti Sports Club (Tuesday).

Contact Rob: 082 413 1887 Golden Hours Family Market Fundraising initiative of Golden Hours Special School.

Every Sunday. Time: 10am–3:30pm. Venue: Uitsig Rd, Durban North. Cost: free entry.

Contact Lyn: 083 262 3693 Heritage Charity and Country Market with fresh produce, crafts and activities for the whole family. 23 October. Time: 9am– 1pm. Venue: Heritage Market, Hillcrest.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 765 2500 Hirsch’s Morning Market Promoting small, local businesses through crafts, fresh produce and homemade food. Every Wednesday. Time: 8am–noon. Venue: Hirsch’s Homestore, Millennium Bridge Business Park. Contact: 031 570 4000

i heart market Food and design market showcasing locally produced crafts, food and fresh veggies. 2 October. Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: DLI Hall, 5 DLI Ave, Greyville. Contact: 079 496 4788 or thejoyteam@gmail.com Karkloof Farmer’s Market Indoor market with a variety of stalls, music and children’s activities. Every Saturday. Time: 7am–11am. Venue: off the D507, along the Karkloof Road. Contact Andrea: 082 820 8986 or visit karklooffarmersmarket.co.za Shongweni Farmer’s and Craft Market Gourmet food, organic and local produce and crafts. Every Saturday.

Time: 6:30am–10am. Venue: cnr Kassier and Alverstone Rds, Assagay. Contact Christine: 083 777 1674 or hazyview@ netactive.co.za Stables Lifestyles Market Craft and products market offering clothing, antiques, toys, jewellery, food and more.

Time: Wednesday and Friday 6pm–10pm, Sunday 10am–5pm. Venue: Jacko Jackson Dr, off Smiso Nkwanyana Rd. For more info: visit stablesmarket.co.za The Food Market for locally produced coffee, cheese, pâté, breads, a children’s corner, mini flower market and tea garden.

30 October. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: The Hellenic Community Centre, Durban North. Contact: 083 777 5633 or visit thefoodmarket.co.za

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Children’s story time A story followed by a craft or activity. For ages 3–8 years. Every Saturday. Time: 10am. Venue: 26 Rockview Rd, Amanzimtoti. Cost: free. Contact: 031 903 6692 or thebookboutique@gmail.com Clamber Club Jungle gym, hoops, balls, sand pit and more. Open every Friday. Time: noon–4:30pm. Venue: Hellenic Community Centre, High Grove Rd, Durban North. Cost: R20. Contact Michaela: 074 101 2616 Steam train rides Ride a miniature steam engine at the Durban Society of Model Engineers. Second and fourth Sunday every month. Playground and tea/coffee are available. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: 4 Hinton Grove, Virginia. Cost: R5 per ride.

Contact: 083 284 6469

sport and physical activities BSG Energade Triathlon Series Family friendly running, swimming and cycling event. 31 October. Time: Kids Series 7:30am, senior race 9:30am. Venue: Midmar Dam, Pietermaritzburg. Cost: varies. Contact Corné: 082 568 0301 or visit kidsseries. co.za or bsgenergadetriseries.co.za Compendium Triathlon for athletes and families including triathlon and duathlon events for ages 8 and older. 2 October.

Time: 6:45am. Venue: Grass Sundeck, Suncoast Casino. Cost: from R80. Download registration at bactiv.biz. Contact: 031 764 1885 or info@bactive.biz

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Sunningdale. Cost: R350. Contact Eleanor:

8 October – Eat, Pray, Love

Little Kickers Football training and the development of ball skills for children aged 18 months to 8 years. Classes vary depending on age group. Time: varies.

Venue: Indoor Sports Action Arena, Rinaldo Park, Durban North. Cost: varies. Contact: 0861 088 888 or admin@littlekickers.co.za MTN Amashova Durban Classic There’s something for all biking enthusiasts.

17 October. Time: varies. Venue: Pietermaritzburg City Hall, family ride Hillcrest High School. Cost: varies. Contact: 031 312 8896 or visit mtncycling.co.za Muddy Buddy Series Family-friendly off-road African adventure. 31 October.

Time: 8:30am. Venue: Giba Gorge. Cost:

varies. Contact B-Active Sports: 031 764 1885 or visit muddybuddy.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Childcare First Aid Workshop Comprehensive emergency procedures for all childcarers. Last Saturday every month.

Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: New Era House, 6 Joseph Ave, Glen Anil. Cost: R500.

Contact Kate: 083 271 5127 or durban@ edubabe.co.za Edu-Maid childcare and child stimulation courses for domestics. Time: varies. Venue:

031 572 4313 or 084 821 6668 Gecko Culinary School offers mini chef and gourmet courses as well as sushi classes and singles evenings. Time: varies. Venue: 596B Musgrave Rd, Berea. Cost: varies.

Contact Megan: 082 467 8088, 031 209 4555 or megan@geckoschool.co.za Kideco Design Décor Course Learn how to decorate rooms to suit your needs and fit your budget. Runs over three Saturdays, starts 9 October. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: 23 Saffron Ave, Glen Anil. Cost: R2 500.

Contact: 083 452 3363, karen@kideco. co.za or visit kideco.co.za Meditation Classes for Moms Every Friday morning. Time: 8:30am–9:30am.

Venue: Hillcrest Library, 22 Delamore Rd. Cost: R25. Contact: 031 765 2162, meditateinhillcrest@gmail.com or visit meditateinhillcrest.org Meryl’s School of Cooking offers a variety of courses, including braai dishes and a course for domestic workers. Contact Meryl: 031 764 6577, meryl@absamail. co.za or visit merylschoolofcooking.co.za or onevision@webafrica.org.za or visit traumaprevention.com

on stage and screen Aaron McIlroy’s Unplucked promises a parade of characters to keep you entertained.

Dinner-theatre. 19 October–7 November.

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calendar Time: Tuesday–Saturday 7pm, Sunday 12:30pm. Venue: The Heritage Theatre, Hillcrest. Cost: Wednesday–Saturday R190, Tuesday and Sunday R165. Contact: 031 765 4197 or visit heritagetheatre.co.za Eat, Pray, Love is the story of a divorced woman looking for something more. On her journey she learns to eat in Italy, to pray in India and to love in Bali. Film based on the novel by Elizabeth Gilbert and starring Julia Roberts. Opens 8 October.

Rock Steady pays tribute to the guitar heroes of the ’70s and ’80s. 8–10 October.

Time: Friday–Saturday 8pm, Sunday 3pm.

Venue: Izulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino. Cost: R190. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Trevor Noah presents his new oneman comedy show Scratch That, with all-new material. 22–24 October. Time: 8pm. Venue: Izulu Theatre, Sibaya Casino.

Cost: R151. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com World Symphony Series Spring Season 2010 The KZN Philharmonic Orchestra, and international and local artists present a series of classical concerts. 16 September–4 November. Time: 5:30pm. Venue: City Hall, 231 Smith St. Cost: R80–R180. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

support groups ADHASA Support Groups for adult and child ADHD. Meetings are irregular.

Contact Stuart: 031 298 8896 or Robin: 082 499 1344 for details on meeting times and support groups.

CANSA Support Durban North for survivors, relatives and friends. Second Tuesday every month. Venue: Durban North Methodist Church hall. Contact: 031 564 2510 (for CANSA support groups in other areas call: 031 205 9525) Childhood Cancer Parent Support Group CHOC schedules regular support meetings. Contact Gill: 084 831 3683 or visit choc.org.za Childline works to protect children, offer counselling to abuse victims, educate and train. Parents of children who are bullied can also call them for guidance. Call the toll-free line all hours: 0800 055 555 or visit childlinesa.org.za Compassionate Friends support group for family and friends who have lost a loved one. Fourth Sunday every month.

Time: 3pm–5pm. Venue: Absa premises, 20 Hunter St, CBD. Contact: 031 335 0463 or 082 458 3663

Depression and Anxiety South Africa for depression, trauma, bipolar disorder, and other mood and anxiety disorders. Call the national helpline on 0800 20 51 21 for referral to the relevant support group.

Diabetes South Africa Contact: 0861 222 717 or durban@diabetessa.co.za Down Syndrome Association KZN Intuthuko Support Group meeting for those with Down Syndrome and their families. Third Saturday of every month.

Venue: Anglican Church Hall, Umbilo Rd. Contact: 076 978 9811 FAMSA offers family and relationship counselling, parenting guidance, conflict resolution and more. Contact: 031 202 8987 or visit 30 Bulwer Rd, Glenwood Hi Hopes offers support and information to families of babies with hearing loss. Contact Cheryl: 082 447 1142, cheryl.devnath@ gmail.com or visit wits.ac.za/Humanities/ Education/Deaf+Studies/HIHOPES Reach for Recovery Breast Cancer Support Group meets over bring-andshare morning teas. Contact: 03l 205 9525 or 072 248 0008 SADAG South African Depression and Anxiety Group offers assistance to those suffering from depression or drug and alcohol abuse, or who may be suicidal. For more information or referral to a support group visit: sadag.co.za Speak Easy support group for those who stutter, their family and friends.

Contact Imraan: 082 786 3718 or visit speakeasy.org.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Pregnancy Yoga teaches beneficial postures, relaxation and breathing techniques for pregnancy. Time: Wednesday 3pm, Saturday 10am. Venue: Centre for Wellbeing, 16 Canberra Ave, Durban North.

Cost: R170. Contact Angela: 076 410 1410 or angela@rautenbach.co.za Raising Multiples Seminar Parents of multiples are invited to listen to speakers on topics such as establishing routine, feeding multiples and development. 16 October.

Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: Parklands Netcare Hospital, Overport. Cost: R75. Contact: 082 338 2625 or kzn@samultiplebirth.co.za or visit samultiplebirth.co.za

playtime and story time Durban Botanical Gardens Get together with some other moms, take a stroll around

Toddler Sense Seminar In association with Toptots, join Sister Ann Richardson and guest speakers for an informative morning talking about toddlers. 23 October. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: Nkulisa Conference Centre, Bartle Rd, Glenwood. Cost: R290. Contact Debbie: 031 262 4962, 082 467 8236, toddlersense@toptots.co.za or visit toddlersense.co.za

the gardens and let your babies enjoy the peaceful outdoors. Time: 7:30am– 5:15pm daily. Venue: Sydenham Rd. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 309 1170, dbginfo@durban.gov.za or visit durbanbotanicgardens.org.za Moms and Tots and Moms and Babes Workshops Interactive programmes designed to build relationships through play and fun activities. Time: varies. Venue: branches situated in Umhlanga, Durban North, the Highway area and Glenwood.

Cost: varies. Contact info@momsandtots. co.za or visit momsandbabes.co.za or momsandtots.co.za Story time at La Lucia Library Join other moms and tots for a children’s story and the chance to relax. Time: 1pm every Wednesday and Friday. Venue: 1 Library Lane, behind La Lucia Mall. Cost: free.

Contact: 031 572 2986 Tea @ Toptots Tea garden where moms can take their young ones, relax and enjoy a cuppa. Second Tuesday every month. Venue: 2 Gwyneth Place, Carrington Heights. Time: 9–noon. Cost: adults R30, children R20.

Contact Marinda: 084 245 0462

support groups La Leche is a worldwide breastfeeding support organisation. There are currently no meetings in KZN, but for breastfeeding support and questions contact Jane: 031 309 1801 or visit llli.org/southafrica Moms and Babes support group meets monthly for a talk – this month looks at immunisations. 12 October. Time: 9am– 10:30am. Venue: Alberlito Hospital, Ballito.

Cost: free. Contact: 032 946 6956 or 032 946 1826 Post-natal Depression Support Association of South Africa For more info on when support groups meet again, call the national helpline: 082 882 0072 or visit pndsa.co.za

The South African Multiple Birth Association support group for families with multiples. Join for resources, newsletters, contacts, social network, counselling, functions and seminars. Contact: 082 338 2625, kzn@samultiplebirth.co.za or visit samultiplebirth.co.za

how to help Animal Anti-Cruelty League provides care and shelter for animals and educates about animal welfare. Ways you can help include adopting a pet or making a donation.

To find out more contact the head office: 011 435 0672 or visit aacl.co.za Collect-a-Can is encouraging all institutions, schools and companies to get involved in their world record-breaking attempt to collect over 2,2 million cans.

This organisation works to minimise the harmful effects of litter on the environment and uses collected cans and off-products as recycling material. Contact the head office: 011 466 2939 or visit collectacan.co.za Just Us 4 Children is working to raise funds for their fight against child abuse by collecting second-hand books for monthly book sales. For queries or to make donations contact Karen: 082 891 1722 or karen@justus4children.za.org Lunch Buddies Join the fight against hunger by making sandwiches for underprivileged children. Available at participating schools and Sandwich Jam workshops. For more information or to get involved contact: 021 531 5670 or lunchbuddies@foodbank.org.za Pathways is a centre for children with cognitive and physical disabilities. It offers them the opportunity to develop and grow through education and therapy. For more info on how to get involved: 031 266 5028 or visit pathways-kloof.co.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to durban@childmag.co.za or fax it to 031 207 3429. Information must be received by 11 October for the November issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published.

FAMSA

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it’s party time

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October 2010

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last laugh

confessions of a laptop addict

a

Joe, Sam and Benj

ndreas asked me the other day: “What are we going to do about the screen addiction?”

“I have no idea!” I responded. “The boys do spend a helluva lot of time in front of screens, don’t they? But they don’t play violent games, and they are often watching Discovery channel.”

“I am not talking about the boys, Love,” he said, gently shaking his head. “I am talking about you.”

The worst bit? He’s right. How can you limit your child’s screen time when your own is hideously uncontrolled?

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My laptop is practically another appendage, and if I haven’t tweeted about something, it hasn’t really happened. All day, every day, I email, SMS, facebook, google, blog, tweet and IM. But then I am paid to do so.

It’s the evenings that are the problem, though – when I come home and do exactly the same thing. As I write this, a creeping coldness is working its way up the back of my neck, as I realise the last person I say good night to many evenings is my boss, before I close my laptop and tuck it under my bed. Then in the morning, my sleepy fingers fumble for my iPhone, where I check my mail, the news and my twitterstream before both eyes are even fully open.

For relaxation I watch back-to-back episodes of the series du jour on, yes – you guessed it – my laptop. I was once having a marathon viewing session, when Joey came in and feigned a shuddering death next to me: “Aarghh! I’ve lost my mother to Lost!”

And Andreas, for all his gentle fingerwaving, is not much better. He collects speeches and interviews from favourite thinkers and authors, and spends hours poring over the home PC downloading things and checking his gazillion thoughtful RSS feeds. (That’s what clever people do on the Internet while we are sending each other lolcats.) Not so bad, perhaps until you add in all the sports channels on DStv, and the fact that he’s the only person I’ve ever met who will watch the entire Tour de France, in addition to the usual rugby, soccer and cricket.

So, is it any wonder the boys have as many friends on Club Penguin as they do IRL? (That means “in real life” for your nonlolcatters out there.) Not really.

Why am I telling you all this? Because we reached a turning point this weekend. We are currently watching our way through the Star Wars movies, and I was gobsmacked by how my sons know the names of every

random character, planet, spacecraft and alien in the series.

“Boys, there are hundreds of names and characters in these movies, you can’t possibly know them all,” I said, partly in horror but partly in pride.

Benj looked at me, quizzically. “You know that Star Wars Wii game you bought for my birthday? You know how it’s called ‘The Complete Saga’?”

“Well, we haven’t really played anything else for a month,” Joey told me.

It was a moment, folks. The next day, we sat down as a family and decided to limit ourselves – parents and children – to two hours of home screen time every day, which includes the computer, smartphones, the Wii and the TV. I’ll let you know how it goes. We’re looking forward to seeing, well, the sun.

And possibly IRL itself.

Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24, Parent24 and Food24.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth

SAM WILSON comes clean about her issues with the screen.