Child Magazine | Johannesburg Dec 2009 / January 2010

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JOBURG’s

december 2009 january 2010 Issue 49 Circulation 39 849

JOHANNESBURG’s

be s t

gu i d e

f or

p aren t s

www.childmag.co.za

+ 50

things to do

during the holidays

surviving

christmas

finding the calm in the festive chaos

boy

from to man

raising great men

what’s on in dec & jan

holiday time health

education

entertainment

Every month I am blown away by the letters that stream into our office...

So many of you take the time to email, fax or write to us about issues you care about; mostly your Ju children and the challenges you face lia n, Lis in raising them. So in this, my last letter aa nd R obyn of the year, I would like to say a big “thank you!”. Thanks for reading our articles, our letters and our blogs, and thanks for responding and raising other issues close to your heart. Thank you for putting ideas in our heads and allowing us to share them with all the parents and educators who read our magazines every month.

Next year Cape Town’s ChildTM turns six, Joburg’s ChildTM turns five and Durban’s ChildTM will be three! In celebration, we will be increasing our circulation by 5 000 in each city in an attempt to reach some of the schools and businesses currently on our waiting lists. Thank you for taking our magazines into your home and for being so supportive of our advertisers who make the magazines possible. We couldn’t have done it without you, and for this we are incredibly grateful!

May your December and January be filled with fun, laughter and a lot less routine.

P.S. Here’s to tea and toast at 10am, no school run and not a project in sight!

Hunter House P U B L IS H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za

monthly circulation Cape Town’s ChildTM 40 103 Joburg’s ChildTM 39 849 Durban’s ChildTM 35 154

Acting Features Editor Donna Cobban • features@childmag.co.za

to advertise

Calendar Editor Chareen Penderis • joburg@childmag.co.za

Tel: 011 807 6449 • Fax: 011 234 4971 Email: jhbsales@childmag.co.za Website: childmag.co.za

Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za Copy Editors Nikki Benatar Debbie Hathway

Art Senior Designer Samantha Summerfield • sam@childmag.co.za Designers Mariette Barkhuizen Nikki-leigh Piper

Advertising Director Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations

All our magazines are printed on recycled paper.

Free requested July 09 - October 09

Client Relations Manager Michele Jones • michele@childmag.co.za Client Relations Consultants Renee Bruning • renee@childmag.co.za Natasia Cook • natasia@childmag.co.za

To Subscribe Helen Xavier • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Helen Xavier • helen@childmag.co.za Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

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Joburg’s ChildTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 5, First Floor, Bentley Office Park, cnr.

Rivonia and Wessel Rd, Rivonia. Tel: 011 807 6449, fax: 011 234 4971, email: joburg@childmag.co.za.

Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Joburg’s ChildTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may arise from reading them.

December 2009/January 2010

contents

december 2009 january 2010

upfront

36

3 a note from lisa 6 over to you

readers respond

12 readers’ blog saying farewell to the corporate world was the best thing this mom ever did

features 16 mother and son

26

Donna Cobban looks at what it takes to raise a good man

regulars

20 a question of clothes

10 wins

dressing your child is fun, whether it’s handmade, a hand-me-down or off the peg, says Jeannne Maclay-Mayers

13 health Q&A why your body needs calcium

23 when they’re too quiet… when your children haven’t made a peep for some time, something could be wrong. By Laura Twiggs 26 surviving Christmas

14 upfront with paul the 4x4 craze has finally hit Paul Kerton’s home 40 resource: hooray for holidays!

the season of goodwill can also be the season of family strife, says Laura Twiggs

50-plus great family day outings

46 the good book guide

30 discipline the peaceful way Helena Kingwill looks at alternative ways to discipline your children 32 poker face is poker just a game, or are you teaching your child to gamble?

Jeannne Maclay-Mayers investigates

fill up your Christmas stockings with new reads for the whole family 52 gizmos & gadgets new toys, games and audio books to entertain the family 54 bumper calendar

what’s on in december and january

36 spice it up Nazeeha Abrahams shares some spicy recipes from her latest book, More Than Samoosas

70 last laugh Sam Wilson has learnt that the end of year play says a lot about the calibre of your child’s school

classified ads

16

65 family marketplace 66 it’s party time

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

Pumpkin Patch Kids Clothing pumpkinpatchsa.co.za

December 2009/January 2010

comstockcomplete.com

Pumpkin Patch Kids Clothing pumpkinpatchsa.co.za

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December 2009/January 2010

letters

over to you gift time

party on…

Firstly, thank you for a great magazine. I find it very informative and interesting. I read the blog on giving gifts to teachers by Drew Bright and was reminded of an incident that took place when my youngest child was still in junior primary school. It was near the end of the last term and one of the other mothers was bemoaning the cost of all the presents she “had” to buy for the teacher, headmistress and secretary. I have four children ranging in age from 29 to 10 and I have never bought presents for the teachers. My children were totally disinterested in doing so, and I don’t feel the need to give a perfect stranger a gift for doing her job. By all means, get the teacher something if you want to, but do it for exactly that reason – because you want to.

Lesley Milne

I am so surprised that party packs are such an issue for some. What one forgets is that the parties our children attend are usually packed with so many fun activities that the children forget to eat and by the time it’s all over they remember how great the treats were and how they missed out. Receiving a party pack seems to extend the joy of the occasion, so I am all for party packs. There is no need to go overboard but a few sweets are always great.

Anonymous

As a teacher, I agree entirely with the sentiments expressed by Drew Bright in the November blog. Since I have been a high school teacher for the past 14 years, it has been interesting to note how the fashion of giving gifts to teachers has changed. At times I have felt truly blessed to receive a verbal “thank you” from either a student or their parents, as it seems teachers have become more and more taken for granted; and thank-yous have become outdated. This is rather much in keeping with the attitude: “It’s your job and you’re paid to do it! So just get on with it!”

Do I want or expect expensive gifts? No, most certainly not! Something homemade is always special but the best is a simple card, written with sincerity, by the parents, in appreciation of the many hours invested in their child’s education – a lifelong gift given so willingly, and at times against much opposition, by the many teachers out there (and for not much of a salary).

An attitude of gratitude would go a long way to making a teacher’s day and is far more desirable and enduring than an expensive gift.

Tonya Patterson, dedicated teacher I still have the letter of thanks from one child’s mother; it sits at the back of one of my photo albums and whenever I feel unappreciated I take it out and read it. No gift could ever mean as much as that letter does – and nearly 20 years have passed!

Appreciated and appreciative ex-teacher I am a Grade 0 teacher and always approached the end-of-year gifts with some trepidation. At my current school it is tradition for the class mom to collect money from all the parents and present a gift voucher from the whole class. The difficulty for me is that there are always some children who still bring in a gift and the others, whose mothers have undoubtedly contributed to the voucher, feel very sad that they don’t have a present for their teacher. I always show them the voucher and explain what I think I might spend it on but, at six years old, most children don’t always understand. I would much rather have 10 bars of chocolate each year than look at those very sad little faces.

Parents shouldn’t feel pressured. I can assure you a small gift is always appreciated.

Anonymous teacher

December 2009/January 2010

shopping horror My daughter is an average to above average-sized child. She is not the smallest in her class but she is by no means the biggest and she would now fit into a nine- to 10-year-old top and 11 to 12- or 13 to 14-year-old bottom. I do realise that there has to be a norm, but where are they getting the norm from? Petite Chinese children or robust South African children?

My biggest problem is the age tag as opposed to the size tag. I want to dress my daughter according to her age, not her size, but if I am to buy what is available for her size, it is entirely inappropriate for her age. When my daughter was 18 months old, she was too big for 18- to 24-month-old clothing. I found myself looking in the two to three-year-old section and was appalled at what was available! I found the clothing to be sexy and promiscuous. These clothes also had no room to accommodate a nappy.

Most children only potty train between the ages of two and three.

Debbie Hutton

not so sweet Thanks for a solid magazine. I would like to compliment the entire team for a very consistent publication, a true rarity these days. I am a single mom and would like to comment on an experience I have every time I go to the local grocery store with my toddler: sweeties at the tills! Can someone please explain to me why the very same market that these stores target (parents) is forced to put up with hysterical, crying, convulsing children while waiting in the queues?

I don’t believe I am alone on this issue. I think it’s the most inconsiderate and careless trick used by retailers to force parents into buying unhealthy, overpriced items that are within arm’s reach. Then, of course, the entire store is looking at you and wondering how you are going to stop that noise coming out of your red-in-the face toddler. I am exhausted by the time I reach my car! My daughter is a well-behaved child until we reach the till points.

May I suggest that these clever marketers allocate a few of their tills to moms and dads with children and clean up their acts (tills)? May I also suggest that they dress up a few of the tills with some other healthy replacements such as fruit? I hope that the CEO of some giant grocery chain is actually reading this.

Sam Davids

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December 2009/January 2010

over to you

continued...

hold your horses We so often get caught up tearing around during the day that dreams fall aside and life becomes a routine. But what do you do when you wake up one morning feeling miserable and wondering what happened? Simplify! It is so easy. Yes, you want your children to grow up being superstars, but children that are expected to do everything will, after a while, want to do more. Keep it to one sports activity and one cultural activity for the year. It will lessen your driving around and you will have more time with them.

They have their whole life to experiment but only a few moments with you as a child.

Madelize Bondesio, a worried teacher

autism and diet I recently received a copy of your 3D issue (October 2009) and was shocked to find our organisation’s name at the end of the article entitled “autism and diet”. Our organisation’s implied consent and endorsement at the end of this article is misleading.

We have been getting enquiries regarding the article and our position, so this is intended to set the record straight.

We do not endorse any of the information in the “autism and diet” article as it is a one-sided view. There are always two sides to every story and your magazine did not address the other side of this debate. There is a huge ongoing, and sometimes very heated debate, regarding autism and diet.

Contrary to what the advocates of the diet say, as they do in your article, there are no studies that these advocates can point to which empirically state that their dietary approaches work.

It is our organisation’s position that parents need to be informed of the following when their child is diagnosed with autism: Firstly, is this diet medically necessary? That is, does the child have a medical condition diagnosed by a medical professional that will warrant a restricted diet?

ASD does not always equal GFCF as the article can lead parents to believe. Parents also need to be very wary of anyone saying that anything is “mandatory” when it comes to autism. That word disempowers the parent and our organisation is about parent empowerment.

Secondly, if there is a medical reason for the child to be put on a restrictive diet, then it absolutely has to be done by a qualified medical professional, such as a dietician, in consultation with a medical doctor.

Thirdly, there has to be accountability and oversight when parents are informed of anything “mandatory” such as putting their child on a restricted diet. Oversight has to be done by a certified, qualified, medical professional. Tampering with a growing child’s diet is dangerous and who is accountable if anything goes wrong with the child?

How will an unqualified person know what to look for if they have no medical training?

Dispensing medical advice without a licence is not condoned by our organisation.

Over-supplementation is another huge danger that parents need to know about. Again,

December 2009/January 2010

where is the accountability and oversight when parents are told to supplement their children’s diet? The difference between a nutritionist and a dietician is that a dietician is a registered medical professional with accountability to the Health Professions Council of South Africa. A nutritionist is not. A dietician has the training and knowledge to know how to monitor a child’s diet and look for potential red flags and warning signs.

A nutritionist does not.

Jazel Peterzell, director, Autism Action SA I was so pleased to read the article on “autism and diet” in the October issue.

The more credence given to this much misunderstood spectrum the better. I have always been interested in natural alternatives and, since the birth of my first baby, have tried my hardest to make sure that my choices – from ecofriendly nappies, diet and vaccinations to household chemicals and not microwaving – were all conscious and informed.

There was the vaccination debate a few years ago, when they seemed to be a convenient scapegoat due to some of the heavymetal content in some vaccines, but much testing has revealed that this is not the entire picture. As pointed out in your article, autism is a complex disease with many contributing factors, one of which is diet since it appears that children on this spectrum are unable to metabolise foods and get rid of toxins, much the same way that they are unable to adequately get rid of the toxic components in vaccinations. The question is, why? I have been led to suspect that it is the unseen aspects of our environment that are doing the most harm.

Most significantly, the effects of electromagnetic radiation (EMR) from cell phones and wireless computers. From what I can gather, the basic premise of the research is that EMR reduces the body’s ability to emit toxins through the cell walls, with a resultant toxic overload and possible neurological damage. This risk is especially heightened in small babies bombarded with vaccinations and surrounded by a myriad of other noxious chemicals.

Vicki Penfold

write to us We would like to know what’s on your mind. Send your letters to: marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

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December 2009/January 2010

wins

giveaways

in december & january Christmas gifts from Frankie & Fred A gift is a gesture of love and thanks. That’s why Frankie & Fred has put the pleasure back into scouting for something special for babies and children up to the age of 16. Their exclusive products are imported from Europe and America, and you’re sure to find something for everyone. There’s the Diesel Kid range for trend-conscious youngsters, the elegant Cakewalk range, and the colourful and comfortable Zutano baby range. They also stock a range of timeless toys, children’s books, bath toys and feeding sets. The gifts are beautifully wrapped and can be delivered to your doorstep. You’ll also be pleased to know that R3 of every R100 you spend is donated to the Society for Animals in Distress.

Visit Frankie & Fred at Shop 7 of the Blubird Shopping Centre in Athol, call them on 011 786 0095 or visit frankieandfred.co.za Frankie & Fred is giving away three gift vouchers to the value of R500 each to spoil someone special in your life.

To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with ‘Frankie & Fred Win’ in the subject line or post your entry to Frankie & Fred Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 31 January 2010. Only one entry per reader.

King of the holiday camps King’s Camps is a leading sports and activity camp provider, combining the best elements of a holiday club, sports camp and activity holiday into a week of fun and adventure for children. It’s great value for money. King’s Camps is running activity camps at Kingsmead College during the holidays from 7 to 11 December 2009 and during the Easter holidays in April 2010. This will be a fantastic week of fun in a friendly and safe environment, with a superb range of multi-activity programmes for four- to 17-year-olds. Offering over 30 different sports and activities, there’s something for everyone at King’s Camps. For more information, call 010 500 1011 or visit kingscamps.org King’s Camps is giving away a week-long camp to five readers from 7 to 11 December or during the Easter holidays in April 2010.

Each place is worth R675. To win one of these five spots, answer the following question: How many different sports and activities are covered at King’s Camps? Email your answer to info@sa.kingscamps.org with ‘Camps JHB Win’ in the subject line before 31 January 2010. Only one entry per reader.

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December 2009/January 2010

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Totally stellar Cosmic Fashion Options is the place to buy imported accessories for children for all occasions. The Just Me Preschool range is perfect for young girls and the Back to School range is great for older children. Their other children’s ranges are Summer Splash, Princess, Rock Princess, All that Glitters, Kiddies’ Hosiery, Kiddies’ Basics and Kiddies’ Fashion. For more information on Cosmic Fashion Options, call 011 608 4712 Cosmic Fashion Options is making school cool by giving away eight Back To School hair accessory packs worth R500 each, with a total value of R4 000. To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with ‘Cosmic JHB Win’ in the subject line or post your entry to Cosmic JHB Win, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010 before 31 January 2010. Only one entry per reader.

Khoki sends your child’s wishlist to Santa Khoki should be your first stop for educational toys, back-to-school and office stationery, a great selection of children’s educational books, and tools for arts, crafts and scrapbooking.

And for this Christmas season, they’ve made your life easier with their Letter to Santa. Visit your Khoki store, browse all the fantastic goodies, let your children choose five of their favourite items, and write them on a wishlist to Santa. Your children can post their letters in Santa’s special postbox in store and could be one of four lucky girls or boys to have Santa make their wish come true – look out for Santa’s little helpers in store and at intersections close to Morningside Shopping Centre. This offer is valid from 1–24 December 2009, so get to the Khoki store in Morningside Shopping Centre on the corner of Rivonia and Outspan Road, Sandton.

For more information call David, the store manager, on 011 783 2001

Ride on...

The multiple award-winning micro scooters are taking the world by storm. Designed

by Swiss company, micro mobility, micro scooters are known for their lightweight yet solid and safe construction. Children quickly master the lean steering, and gain confidence while having heaps of fun and getting their share of exercise. The mini micro offers independence on walks and outings and is silent when ridden. It’s also highly portable and ideal to take anywhere and everywhere.

Why is the mini micro so special?

• unique lean and steer mechanism • improves balance, coordination and motor skills • develops core strength • low to the ground three-wheeled design for stability • insulated break at the back provides control • lightweight – 1.7kg • clear wheels for indoor and outdoor use • suitable for 18 months – 6 years For more information, contact micro scooters on 076 373 4796, email info@micro.co.za or visit micro.co.za micro scooters is giving away one mini micro scooter valued at R895. To enter, SMS 076 373 4796, email win@micro.co.za with ‘mini micro JHB Win’ in the subject line or post your entry to mini micro JHB Win, PO Box 273, Constantia, 7848 before 31 January 2010. Only one entry per reader.

Congratulations to our October winners: Janey Markantonatos, Garrick Deutschmann, Joan Kistan and Sandy McCann, who each win a Jessica’s gift voucher; Cher Fernhold, Elizna Fourie, Debbie Hemmens, Ravika Bandyopadhyay and Sunesh Boodhoo who each win an ADDvance hamper; Jinny Hargovan who wins a Stork party from Polka Dot Parties.

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December 2009/January 2010

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blog

just in time Most of us struggle to balance family-, work- and me-time and then we still have to make time for everything else

i

’m a single mom of 40 with a five-year-old boy. In March this year I felt a lump in my breast, went to the doctor, landed up in hospital for surgery and then spent a week at home convalescing. Thank all the powers that be it was “just fibrous tissue”, but the effect this had on my life was profound.

I have spent 20 years working in advertising and sales, believing that success is measured by the house I own, the car I drive and the labels I wear. Anyone who knows me will know this to be true. All this did not seem to matter while I was waiting for the results of the operation. I was thinking: who will take care of my child?

(I am lucky that I have a very good support structure);

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I’ll miss everything from now on in his life; I have so little time left to achieve what I want to; what is it that I really want?

For some it takes a long time, but it took me the first day back at the office to realise this was not how I wanted to spend the next 20 years of my life. I felt like a number, a hamster on a treadmill, and then I had my “Aha” moment.

The only thing I know is advertising and the only thing I have to sell is myself, so I decided to work from home selling “me”. I did some research, found a small niche, went into semi-retirement and started a marketing and production agency working from home.

It’s been going for three months now. I don’t make the money I used to and I’ve had to cut back on a lot of things (no more take-aways), but the pay-off is

worth more than money. I take my son to school in the mornings at 8am, not 6:30am. I don’t sit in traffic getting irritated. I cook for us every day and he helps in the kitchen. I am aware of what is going on in my child’s life and the best part is… we laugh. A lot.

Yes, it’s not always easy and some things still cause stress, but I’m in charge, and anything that happens from now on is my good and my own bad.

We, women, have incredible power – it’s about time we start owning our destiny.

Readers, this is your page – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to marina@childmag.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPH: ABLESTOCK.COM

that gets thrown our way each day. By Sammi Mew.

QA

health &

why our bodies need calcium Where is calcium found in the body?

Our bones and teeth make up 99% of the body’s calcium content.

What is the importance of calcium?

Calcium is a mineral found in many foods; adequate calcium intake is important because the human body cannot produce calcium. Even after reaching full skeletal growth, adequate calcium intake is important because the body loses calcium every day through the skin, nails, hair and sweat, as well as through urine and faeces. This lost calcium must be replaced daily through the diet. When the diet does not contain enough calcium to perform these activities, calcium is taken from the bones, the storage area for calcium.

What are the best sources of calcium?

Low fat dairy products, dark, leafy vegetables such as broccoli, kale and collards; tofu; canned salmon or sardines with bones, and calcium-fortified juice, bread and cereal. Vitamin D is important because it helps your body absorb calcium. Good sources of vitamin D include sunlight, low fat dairy products and fortified cereals.

What if you are lactose intolerant, or personal preferences prevent you from consuming calcium-rich foods?

Vitamin and mineral supplements are not the best form of calcium intake, but if you’re aware that your diet lacks calcium-rich foods then taking a supplement is an excellent option. Keep the following guidelines in mind: • Iron interferes with calcium absorption and should not be taken at the same time.

• Vitamin C helps calcium to metabolise.

• Calcium is most beneficial in two smaller doses than one large dose.

• Supplements taken with food are more effectively absorbed.

• Sleep is thought to accelerate proper calcium metabolising, so take a supplement at your evening meal.

Why are many calcium supplements combined with magnesium?

Magnesium is a mineral that is potentially involved in over 300 enzymatic reactions in the body. Magnesium plays a crucial role in regulating the neuromuscular activity of the heart, maintaining normal heart rhythm, converting blood sugar into energy, and metabolising calcium and vitamin C properly. Deficiency of magnesium can result in calcium depletion.

What are good natural sources of magnesium?

Green vegetables such as spinach are good sources of magnesium. Some legumes such as beans and peas, nuts and seeds, and whole, unrefined grains are also good sources of magnesium. Bread made from wholegrain wheat flour provides more magnesium than bread made from refined white flour. Tap water can be a source of magnesium, but the amount varies according to the water supply. Water that naturally contains more minerals is described as “hard”, which means it contains more magnesium than so-called “soft” water.

What is the daily recommended dose of calcium?

• • • • • •

The recommended calcium intake per day is: • Children 0–6 months: 210mg Children 7–12months: 270mg Children 1–3 years: 500mg Children 4–8 years: 800mg Children 9–18 years: 1 300mg Adults 19–50 years: 1 000mg Adults over 50 years:1 200mg

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December 2009/January 2010

13

upfront with paul

4x4 fever PAUL KERTON finds that as his circumstances

Paul, Sabina and Saskia

m

y preferred cars of the past have always been bullets: pointy styling and very fast, with not a lot of room for a girlfriend, let alone a family of four with fluffy, yapping hitchhikers – ‘Radar Love’ (I’ve been driving all night, my hands wet on the wheel) most likely blaring from the speakers…

It’s amazing how your taste changes according to circumstances. Speed is no longer an issue. When you become a father, the pressure on the accelerator eases and you learn to cruise rather than dart about, more especially now that crafty cops are hiding in trees waiting to snap a portrait.

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December 2009/January 2010

A two-door sports saloon is far too selfish and impractical for a FabDad, which is why a four-by-four beckons. I’ve always been allergic to four-by-fours – my feeling is, if I’d wanted to be a bus driver I would have joined Golden Arrow. Still, there is a point when the four-by-four has its merits. Like when the children start to gather friends, bikes, dogs, big handbags and bigger kitbags. You can’t get three bikes, one with training wheels (that’s mine) in a four-door Audi, without ripping the imitation cowhide to shreds. A Porsche (dream on) Boxter won’t even fit junior golf clubs, although you could feasibly stash the family in a trailer. Can you imagine a Porsche Boxter pulling a caravan though? Very déclassé.

I’m struggling to remember the point at which the four-by-four revolution happened.

The shoes came first. When I was a child I wouldn’t have been seen dead in shoes that

resembled surgical footwear, but one day the shoe shops were full of normal, sensible shoes, the next you couldn’t buy anything without a 3cm-thick Pirelli-tread sole and steel toecap. How did CAT, a rough-tough manufacturer of heavy-duty earth-moving equipment, become one of the darlings of the sartorial teenager? Marketing genius.

Next came the four-by-fours.

As the world went hiking-boot mad, transport to wild interiors became necessary. Suddenly you couldn’t buy a car that was less than a metre off the ground. School parking lots were filled with young mothers throwing people-carriers around the car park like Jensen Button, scraping the school gates with glee. It took me a while (slow learner) but I finally understand the four-by-four phenomenon and am willing to embrace it. Yes, now that four-by-fours are unfashionably non-

PC, and everybody else is buying batteryoperated kit cars that organically decay, I want one. But which one?

The Defender is far too agricultural and academic, The Land Rover Discovery and Freelander 2 are back from the dead to restore the company’s sterling reputation.

Audi’s Q5 and Q7 look like executive squad cars. The BMW X5 may be the Premier’s escort car of choice, but what about Hyundai, Toyota, Renault and Jeep?

With children, more than the car, it’s the colour that’s important. Yellow, I joke, “No, Dad, you are not getting a yellow car? If you do, we’re not getting in it,” chorus the girls. Look, I wouldn’t even get a yellow submarine, but I’m seriously bored with Berliner Zilver. Decisions, decisions…

Paul Kerton is the author of FabDad – a Man’s Guide to Fathering and 82 Mistakes Parents Make (with Children).

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PHOTOGRAPH: JILL BADER

change, so too does his taste in cars.

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December 2009/January 2010

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feature

motherand son DONNA COBBAN gathers a few helpful tips as

hen I was little my mother used to tell my sister and me how glad she was that she had girls and not boys “because boys are harder to raise than girls.”

Then she would say that the only mother she knew of who had raised fine men was Nancy McLean. Whenever we went to stay with Nancy, whose sons were by then grown, I would sit quietly and marvel at this great mother who had raised great men against the odds.

Then, many years later, I gave birth to a boy. I was glad I had a boy and not a girl. There was going to be no temptation to live my unfulfilled childhood dreams through him – no squeezing his feet into pointe shoes to practise his pliés, no need to buy him the entire Barbie house along with requisite Barbie sports car and hair styling salon. Nope, I thought, this was going to be easier than having a girl; my mother must have been wrong.

But, just in case, I call her up and ask: “What was it that Nancy McLean did to raise such fine men?”

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“Oh it’s not that hard,” she says. “She got involved with everything they did, so if they were into cricket, she learnt all about cricket, or if they were interested in frogs, she followed suit. In other words, she kept a keen interest in all that they did and, in turn, kept them close.”

This is something my old friend Thandi is learning – she who has steered clear of all Bokke-related matters her whole life can now rattle off the names of the team with effortless ease. I am truly impressed, and just a little amazed.

For the time being, I am spared from the Saturday afternoon game as my son is only two, but I am staying involved in other ways. I have developed an interest in sand and the endless architectural possibilities contained within these particles – we build sand castles, sand cakes, sand balls and sand sandwiches. We live to encounter sand – in pits, or on beaches and often in cat litter trays. The stuff is everywhere.

While I model my mothering on the Nancy McLean style, I still think I need ongoing counsel so I turn to the trusty pages of some renowned books. Dan Kindlon and Michael

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PHOTOGRAPHS: COMSTOCKCOMPLETE.COM, ABLESTOCK.COM

she goes about trying to grow a good man.

Thompson, authors of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys, underline the necessity to give boys an emotional education and stress the importance of staying connected to them, especially when they are feeling confused and bewildered. They say failure to do so can result in a lack of self respect, and cause boys to act impulsively, moved by emotions they cannot name or understand. They then exercise their emotional ignorance in cruel treatment of one another or girls, and could express this inner turmoil in academic failure, depression, drug addiction, alcoholism, troubled relationships or delinquency.

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She got involved with everything they did, so if they were into cricket, she learnt all about cricket, or if they were interested in frogs, she followed suit.

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The line is a fine one for any young lad to tread in a world that expects him to be a “big boy” before he is big and cares little for his emotional needs. Perhaps my greatest lesson in this area comes from a time when I was teaching a young class of demoralised children.

They were the bottom class in the grade and had been given a hard time by a previous teacher. While most of the children were barely taller than my shoulder, there was one boy, Matthew, who towered above me.

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The line is a fine one for any young lad to tread in a “world that expects him to be a “big boy” before he is

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big and cares little for his emotional needs.

recommended reading Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon, Michael Thompson and Teresa Barker (Ballintine Books, 2000) Between Mothers and Sons edited by Patricia Stevens (Simon and Schuster, 2001) It’s a boy! Understanding Your Son’s Development from Birth to Age 18 by Teresa Barker and Michael Thompson (Ballintine Books, 2008) Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons by Michael Thompson and Teresa Barker (Ballintine Books, 2000) Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson (Tynedale House Publishers, 2001)

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The class was filled with enthusiasm; they had a new teacher – life was on the up.

By the end of the first week I had made a grave error – I had dismissed Matthew over something fairly minor (I think his great height made me think he was a “big boy”, who did not need as much encouragement as the others). He was anything but and my lack of praise was a crushing and cruel blow to this young boy, who was still so little inside.

Matthew needs to take all the credit for my now daily vigilance of the “big boy” trap.

For advice on what to do when my son really becomes big, I ask an older mother, Elizabeth, about her secret. Sport, she tells me, will help to keep them out of trouble. “Did they drink and drug?” I ask. Sadly, she tells me that alcohol consumption seems to be a given but the bright side is that if they are involved in sport, they have to raise a hung-over head from the bed so they are less likely to overindulge too often.

Steve Biddulph, author of the bestselling book Raising Boys, believes that sport can be a double-edged sword in that it can give boys “a sense of belonging, character, self esteem and good health.” But it can also “cripple them in body, warp them in mind, teach them bad values and lead to a crushing sense of failure.”

Biddulph suggests that if your son is not good at sports that he finds time to pursue other activities, preferably with his father or a male role model. Try fishing, hiking, bike riding, building model planes and trains, art, music, drama – there are a wealth of things to do together that don’t involve competitive ball throwing and do involve communication or as Biddulph puts it “the simple pleasure of being together”.

So there it is again, keeping interested is going to keep them close. Best I go and read up on the rules of rugby… just in case.

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feature

Hand-me-downs or off the peg? Home-made or seamstress-sewn?

Jeanne Maclay-Mayers searches for the answers.

hen a mom says: “this baby-making factory is now closed,” it means she isn’t going to store away her toddler’s outgrown dungarees “just in case”. Instead, she’s going to pass them down the great hand-me-down chain, perhaps to us. We are very grateful for the bulging plastic bags that we regularly receive from friends and family. Boutique baby-grows, pyjamas with fruit stains, ballet leotards, unmatched socks, a turquoise swimming cap decorated with tiny watermelons – every rummage is a voyage of discovery.

In most cases, just as I am about to go clothes shopping I find out that I don’t need to, because everything Tash, my four-year-old daughter, needs has just arrived.

Tash’s cousin, Jessica, is a year older than her, which is

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the perfect gap for hand-me-downs. When I told Tash one day that we were going out to get her bigger shoes she nodded happily and interpreted this for herself, saying: “We’re going to Jessica’s”.

“Not today,” I announced. “We’re going to the shops.”

Of course, when out shopping for shoes it is easy to be tempted by the new clothes on offer. With guilty pleasure I bought her a handkerchief skirt covered in butterflies.

(She has so many skirts at home.) But Tash loves her butterfly skirt and the way it flares out at 360 degrees when she twirls.

She also loves choosing her own clothes. Recently she selected a My Little Pony T-shirt and a Hello Kitty swimsuit.

The shops have a fabulous range of children’s clothes, and,

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PHOTOGRAPHS: Pumpkin Patch Kids Clothing, COMSTOCKCOMPLETE.COM, ABLESTOCK.COM

a question of clothes

while for Tash “more is more”, it is even possible to find wholesome garments free of modern icons and logos.

There are times when one wants something special; something that is not on offer in the shops. My friends Linda le Roux and Joanne Polzin are talented women who can create that “something special” themselves. Linda whipped up a Po outfit from scratch so that her son Logan could look like the red Teletubby for his second birthday. Joanne knitted a jersey for her daughter Geena (then 4) that had a polar bear curling around one shoulder, and Geena still squeezes herself into this even though she is now eight. But Joanne confesses that she prefers to create accessories that she can be sure of finishing before her children grow too big for them, such as multicoloured beanies and crocheted bags.

Joanne says she makes clothes and accessories partly for the creative fun of it all, and partly because she wants her children to feel they have something unique that she has made especially for them. For Joanne: “Putting love

and effort into making something is what distinguishes it from a bought commodity.”

Inspired by such efforts I thought – for a moment – of trying to sew Tash a dress. But I soon came to my senses because when it comes to sewing, well, my skills extend to reattaching buttons; I still aspire to hem.

But one can always find a seamstress to make one’s dreams a reality. When Tash started refusing to wear jerseys, tracksuit tops and even long-sleeved shirts because they interfered with her vision of how a princess looked, I hatched a plan where we would design some warm winter dresses together that she simply could not resist wearing.

So in autumn we visited a fabric factory that is a manylevelled wonder. Then we drew pictures of long-sleeved dresses that could flare into full circles, and I made an appointment to see the skilled seamstress that had made my wedding dress.

Gairo Hendricks translated our sketches into beautiful outfits, although not exactly what I had envisioned.

With guilty pleasure I bought her a handkerchief skirt covered in butterflies.

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For Joanne, “Putting love and effort into making something is what distinguishes it from a bought commodity.”

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I suppose that whenever a man wants a woman to dress differently, all sorts of feminist-type issues arise. But when a child asks, the intentions are clear: someone who loves her mom just wants her mom to look the best she can.

I had imagined the dresses flaring at the waist while in reality they flared at the ribs in a traditional empire line.

Clearly Gairo was a seamstress used to making formal dresses for flower girls. But as Tash’s dress sense is informed largely by animated fairy tales she was delighted with her new outfits. I am particularly fond of the one we call “Tinkerbell’s winter dress”, which is made of a fluffy green fabric and has a zig-zag hemline at the bottom.

Most importantly, the dresses kept Tash warm throughout winter without me having to force her into something she felt was unsightly – and early-morning arguments were kept to a minimum. The new dresses weren’t completely necessary though, as Tash also developed a system where she wore a warm jersey and leggings under her cousin’s old summer dresses. To me she looked a little odd, but her teacher assures us she is setting a new fashion at her preschool.

Tash’s latest obsession has been getting me to dress like a princess as well. To her frustration, she was born to the kind of mom that likes to live in jeans and shapeless

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jerseys, but she is determined to change this. And, while I am unlikely ever to be as interested in clothes as much as she is, I have noticed myself making a bit more effort in what I choose to wear.

My husband has been trying to change my dress sense – towards dresses – for years. So, naturally, I have given some thought to why it is that when my daughter asks, I oblige. I suppose that whenever a man wants a woman to dress differently, all sorts of feminist-type issues arise.

But when a child asks, the intentions are clear: someone who loves her mom just wants her mom to look the best she can.

Sometimes Tash and I go shopping together – not for her – for me. Down the road there is a tiny factory shop that supplies the boutiques around town, and it is closing down soon. While it is unlikely to kit me out like a Disney princess, we are planning to pop in for their closing-down sale, so that I can become the final accessory that young Tash wants: a well-dressed mom.

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feature

when they’re

too quiet…

Every parent longs for a bit of peace and quiet, but you need to be aware of the diabolical shenanigans and potential danger of too-quiet children, warns LAURA TWIGGS.

s most parents know, there are different kinds of quiet. There’s good quiet, which is when you know full well that the children are tucked up in their beds, sound asleep. There’s bad quiet, which is the long moment just before a raging tantrum is unleashed. And then there’s the most unnerving sort of quiet of all, when it dawns on you that the house is too quiet, and in a second you realise that it’s been too quiet for far too long. When did

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you last yell out at the children to keep it down? They’ve been playing noisily all morning and it’s been driving you nuts. You haven’t been able to hear yourself think. But now, the silence is as deafening as it is all encompassing. You haven’t heard raised voices saying “That’s mine!” or “I’m the teacher” for ages. All you can hear is… nothing. It’s the sort of quiet that sends a chill down seasoned parents’ spines, the sort of silence that’s as ominous as an eight-foot-tall

Bratz doll wielding an axe and laughing maniacally. It can mean only one thing: they’re up to no good.

For mother-of-twins, Nicola*, this sort of silence is now her cue to reach for the camera and track down her children. “I have learnt to sneak up on them when they’ve been too quiet for too long, because I know that they’re up to something so wild that no one would ever believe me without incontrovertible evidence,” she says. Her photo

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“

The silence is as deafening as it is all encompassing. You haven’t heard raised voices saying “That’s mine!” or “I’m the teacher” for ages.

All you can hear is… nothing.

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album bears testimony to her words: there’s a picture of two naughty children covered in white dust powder gathered around a huge amorphous mass of goo on a previously pristine shag-pile carpet. “That was Fissan paste, three new baby powders and an entire bottle of Chanel No 5,” explains Nicola. “They had decided to make a cake. They were three,” she says. “Now I can smile about it, but at the time it was a disaster. The vacuum wouldn’t suck up all the powder and I never properly got the stain out of that carpet. That was when I started keeping my perfumes well out of reach!”

In another photograph, the twins are looking very, very sorry, more than a little scared, and very muddy. “This was shortly before they turned eight,” says Nicola. She doesn’t smile about this one, though. The picture shows the boys in a huge deep hole that looks like an ugly wound in an otherwise immaculate garden. “Apparently, they were playing ‘trenchtrench’. They’d heard about World War I from their granddad

and didn’t realise how big they were making the hole,” she says. “I could have killed them. I had thoughts about those stories of children that die after falling in holes, suffocating, or are buried alive when the holes collapse.”

This gets to the very nub of the danger of “too quiet”.

It’s one thing for children to take themselves off out of sight and earshot, to spend hours quietly amusing themselves cutting the glossy illustrations out of an expensive set of encyclopaedias, or finger-painting the walls with your new Guerlain KissKiss Gold and Diamonds lipstick that retailed in 2007 at R480 000 a pop. It’s quite another when they stealthily decide to show their friend the workings of dad’s gun.

Durban mother Candice was horrified, for example, when she went to investigate what the children were up to after she had noticed the drop in decibel levels and found that her six-year-old daughter and her little play-date were happily taking turns to lock each other in the boot of her car. In June this year, quiet four-year-old Daniel Blair made

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childproof your house The Child Accident Prevention Foundation of Southern Africa offers the following tips.

For their comprehensive guide, go to childsafe.org.za

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I have learnt to sneak up on them with a camera when they’ve been too quiet for too long, because I know that they’re up to something so wild that no one would ever believe me without incontrovertible evidence.

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world headlines when he silently occupied himself by giving their week-old puppy a “bath” in the loo, and accidentally flushed the pup down the toilet. (Dog lovers will be pleased to hear that the cocker spaniel survived.) Tragically, there are a number of children who drown each year, when their “too quiet” games revolve around swimming pools. So tune your ears into the gnawing silence. At best, it will offer some wonderful photo opportunities, and may even save a life.

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• Install child-safety latches on all cupboards containing dangerous products.

• Ensure potentially poisonous products have childproof caps, and lock them out of reach.

• Secure bookshelves and furniture that can topple over.

• Safety glass should be used for sliding doors and large glass panes. Mark doors at your child’s height with stickers or tape.

• Store alcoholic beverages out of reach of children in a lockable cupboard.

• Never leave matches or lighters lying around.

• Make sure you know which plants in your garden are poisonous. Place poisonous plants out of reach.

• Always empty the bath when finished.

• Lock away all medicines and avoid leaving medication on your bedside table. Install child locks on medicine cupboards.

• Store razors and other hazardous products like turpentine, cleaning products and pool chemicals well out of reach or lock them away.

• Attach toilet-seat guards on toilets.

• Ensure garden and other tools are locked away, out

of sight. Make sure that when they are in use that children are supervised.

• Set your hot-water cylinder to a safer temperature (50˚C or less).

• Never burn candles where children can reach them.

Always extinguish them when leaving the room.

• Children should not be allowed to play on furniture.

• Always try and supervise play. Buy age-appropriate toys and games.

• Throw away broken toys or have them repaired.

• All outdoor play should be supervised.

• Always keep the garden shed locked and teach children not to play in it.

• The most dangerous area in the garden is the pool.

Make sure it is either fenced with an SABS-approved fence or have a safety net installed.

• Always empty paddle pools after use.

• Cover deep ponds with a net or mesh.

• Keep car doors locked in the garage or driveway. If using an electronic garage door, make sure that it stops if it touches an obstacle.

• Never leave children unattended near a braai fire.

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feature

surviving Christmas It’s the so-called season of goodwill, and yet Christmas can cause huge family strife. Maybe it’s

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All festivals, celebrations, holidays and special days are important in the lives of families and help children feel that they belong.

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very year, mother of two, Sandra* starts dreading Christmas from around September. “I know that any day now, my mother will be on the phone trying to make me commit to cooking a turkey and helping her make an enormous hot lunch with all the trimmings, and ensuring that we will be at Midnight Mass with my siblings and extended family. It’s a nightmare. My husband is an atheist and won’t budge on the Mass issue, and thinks Christmas is nothing more than a commercial enterprise. He’s happy enough for the children to get a present and to have a family get-together, but this isn’t good enough for my folks.

Inevitably, I feel torn and land up fighting with everyone.

Come Boxing Day, my mother isn’t talking to me, my husband is a shell-shocked zombie who feels manipulated and voiceless and I find myself wondering what on earth I’m going to do with the mountain of gammon, turkey and chipolatas that my mom wrapped in tin foil and pressed upon me as we were leaving. If I could, I’d bypass the whole thing and take the family camping, but my mom would see that as a declaration of war, and besides, I’d feel terribly guilty about not being with my parents on Christmas. It seems that I just can’t win.”

Sound familiar? Well, it probably won’t help to learn that if it does, you’re not alone. Family conflict escalates over the festive season, coming to a nasty head on Christmas day for many families. One of the main reasons for this is a difference of opinion between generations on how the day should be spent, and this only becomes more dire when there are conflicting religious and cultural beliefs thrown into the mix. It seems we can keep these from the spotlight for most of the year, but at Christmas, they come out of their hidey-holes and are revealed in all their divisive complexity.

Interestingly, Cape Town-based counselling psychologist Dr Rosa Bredekamp notes that the day itself is wholly innocent. “Christmas is traditionally a day celebrated by Christians the world over to commemorate the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, but we now know that 25 December is

actually not Christ’s birth date, and that it might have been chosen to correspond with a Roman festival or the winter solstice in the northern hemisphere,” she says. “Christmas has been associated and invested with other symbolic meanings besides the birth of Christ from a very early age, so even people from other cultures may celebrate this day in their own unique and idiosyncratic way. Christmas is also celebrated by many secular, non-Christian people as a way of demonstrating their affection and care for loved ones,” she says.

The thing to remember in the bustle to prepare for Christmas, says Dr Bredekamp, is that however your family and loved ones conceive of Christmas, it really is an opportunity to bring your family closer together “and to interact in a meaningful manner. All festivals, celebrations, holidays and special days are important in the lives of families and help children feel that they belong. Sharing celebrations, religious events and holidays also helps build a cohesive society,” she says.

But “cohesion” around Christmas can take a long time to come by. ‘”For years I hated Christmas because it was the only time of year that there would be terrible tension between my immediate family and parents and my in-laws,” explains Karen*, mother of six-year-old Noah*. Karen converted to Judaism in order to marry her husband, Joel*, eight years ago. “My in-laws were not happy that Noah took part in the Christmas tradition of my immediate family, but how could we leave him out when all of his cousins on my side were part of it? They spend a lot of time together and it would just have been so unfair to deny him the Christmas excitement,” says Karen. “Eventually I’d had enough of the political undercurrents and sat everyone down and explained that we were happy to expose Noah to a range of traditions and that we didn’t think this would be confusing because he’s never going to be anything but Jewish. I grew up with Father Christmas and wanted him to have that, too. I don’t see it as a conflict. Eventually everyone calmed down. They might

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PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SXC.HU

time to break away from Christmases past and make new traditions, suggests Laura Twiggs.

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not agree, but I have made it clear that this is my call,” she says firmly.

Dr Bredekamp says that parents like Karen are “permitting their children to experience a wide variety of opportunities and value systems which they can integrate into their own world view or belief system at a stage when they are emotionally and spiritually more mature”. She continues: “People may ask whether children are not receiving conflicting messages if they are exposed to different cultural beliefs and customs, but the challenge of living in a diverse society is actually to be able to tolerate differences and acknowledge that we (not one specific culture or religion) do not have all the answers to life’s questions. So children from a mixed background might be better equipped to deal with, tolerate and respect others who are from different backgrounds and be more open-minded in general. I see this as an advantage for survival in the so-called global village where we are more exposed to different environments and people, and where, I believe, accepting religious diversity might lead to greater religious tolerance.”

However, it’s not just the outright conflict between religious beliefs and cultures that causes tension around Christmas. Even those from the same belief system, faith and world view can find themselves at odds over ingrained family traditions that have nothing whatsoever to do with faith. Even the most secular of households can

find themselves torn in what seem like a thousand different directions trying to comply with the expectations of both extended families.

“It always felt like there was some competition between our parents,” admits Colleen*. “Both my husband and my parents have a tradition of doing Christmas Eve, which means we have had to choose, and it always caused tension. Eventually we decided that we had to go back to the drawing board and take control, because we felt like pawns and could never please everyone.” Colleen and Mike decided to break free of their familial expectations and start their own Christmas tradition. They decided to host Christmas themselves, and to shift the focus to Christmas lunch.

“Neither of our parents were very keen at first; they were both very attached to the way they did things.

But we held our ground, and now we have managed to get it right in a way that includes everyone, and avoids the terrible stress and tension,” she says. “We have a relaxed lunch and all of our siblings and family come to our house. I didn’t want to have to do the old-fashioned thing and so we now have a braai, and everyone is asked to bring something specific. I refuse to spend three days in the kitchen the way my mother used to. We’ve been very clear that Christmas day is an opportunity for the whole family to come together and share time, and that is the real point and focus.

“My mother was horrified at first and it’s taken some time for her to stop asking about bread sauce and brandy butter. But now she says she wishes she had thought of

Even the most secular of households can find themselves torn in what seem like a thousand different directions trying to comply with the expectations of both extended families.

it because it would have spared her so much trouble and sweat over the years. We also have laid down the law about presents because, let’s face it, who gets the gift of their dreams at Christmas? We now give our children gifts before they come to lunch and at lunch, we have a secret Santa that is capped at R200 per gift, meaning that all that money and time spent in the shops is done away with. After every Christmas lunch, when everyone has left, Mike and I sit back and congratulate ourselves for taking this stand. The pressure has gone out of Christmas and, what’s more, we have started our very own tradition that totally includes everyone and makes it a lovely, unstressful day.”

Among the many changes to the “traditional Christmas” that Colleen and Mike have made is changing the notion of Christmas trees. “We decided to buy a tree and do a ceremonial planting of it in the garden rather than forking out for a pine tree that will shed its brown needles all over the carpet,” says Mike. “Another tradition we have started, and which the children love, is that all the cousins, and there are seven of them under the age of 13, put on a play after lunch: a musical variety show that is always hilarious.”

So, maybe it’s time to take a leaf from their book and put those ghosts of Christmas past to rest. Who knows, you might find yourself having that “merry little Christmas” that Judy Garland sang about. “Let your heart be light/From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.”

Imagine that? * Names have been changed

avoid Christmas stress • Look for ways to take the pressure off yourself.

Delegate. Plan a menu and then ask family members to bring specific items, from Christmas crackers to festive serviettes. This way you will avoid bearing all the expense as well as stress.

• To avoid a last-minute rush, ask those who are going to bring key items to drop them off at your house the day before Christmas.

• Silence that voice that’s telling you that everything has to be perfect. It doesn’t. Don’t allow yourself to succumb to the silly season’s pressure.

• Sit down with your family and decide on exactly what you want Christmas to be. Do it your own way.

• Don’t over-spend: this will only lead to greater stress in the new year.

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feature

discipline the peaceful way HELENA KINGWILL looks at more

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hile canes are now a relic of the past, I am willing to bet that a large majority of fathers today were once caned for something they barely remember. Those who I have spoken to can still recall their horror at the sadistic behaviour of some teachers.

Instead of being caned, girls were punished with various forms of hard labour, such as scrubbing stoves in the Domestic Science lab. Then, of course, there was also the dreaded detention. Even then, in my boarding school days, I decided I would not want my children to go through that.

In the wake of a rebel generation of parents, who have swung away from the old ways, a new wave of wild children is rocking the schools. Teachers today are all too familiar with children who have never been taught basic rules and boundaries. Children are growing up in different circumstances – parents work longer hours, which means that their children are in child care for longer periods, often resulting in lavish treats being dished out in an attempt to compensate for the lost time spent together.

Depression, drug and alcohol abuse are on the increase and traditional family values are changing. So how do we discipline in today’s world without reaching for the cane?

In a bid to keep their children ‘happy’, many parents avoid confrontation by allowing their offspring to get away

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with more and more, until they find themselves constantly trying to figure out ways to escape from these (cute) little tyrants who have taken over their lives and their homes.

When parents have been run ragged by their unruly children and are under all kinds of external pressures, the only way they know to bring back control tends to be the reflex reaction of the fear-based threats and violent punishments that were practiced on them. Sadly, this is exactly what they were trying to prevent in the first place by avoiding confrontation.

Getting into the habit of praising and encouraging your children and taking note of the good things they do naturally encourages them to be more cooperative.

When I found myself floundering in the terrifying trenches of my domestic war zone after my own minityrants had worn me down and wrung me out, I dragged myself off to Karen Quail’s Discipline for Peace workshops,

where I regained some composure among a number of other frustrated parents all seeking guidance. Quail recognised the need for a tool kit of positive parenting skills after watching battered children being sent home from Child Welfare (where she worked) into the arms of parents who lacked parenting skills and whose only motivating factor not to beat their children again was a restraining order.

Quail is a mother of two boys, a viola player, school teacher, counsellor and occasional foster parent. She developed a course based on the positive parenting concepts described by John Gray in his book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Children are from Heaven as well as from her own experiences.

The idea is based on the principle that children are born innocent and good. Her approach requires parents to break the habit of demanding obedience using threats and acts of punishment and work towards cooperation by regularly acknowledging the positive things they have done and offering rewards as motivation to do more. Gray presents a set of alternatives to spanking, shaming and punishing including new ways of asking. Instead of ordering, rewards are given and punishment and time-outs replace spanking.

It is the opposite of the archaic thinking that one must

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PHOTOGRAPHS: COMSTOCKCOMPLETE.COM

effective ways of disciplining a child.

It is the opposite of the archaic thinking that one must “break the rebellious child’s spirit” in order to set them on the right path. “break the rebellious child’s spirit” in order to set them on the right path. “Demanding obedience from your children numbs their inner will… and disconnects them from their potential to create the life they are here to live,” says Gray.

Rewards are a basic energy exchange, like using a carroton-a-stick incentive rather than the stick to whip them into submission. Also, rewards do not have to be sweets. They can be the promise of a story or time together.

Although this may sound soft, the positive parenting approach does not compromise on control. Gray’s updated version of the old adage “spare the rod and spoil the child” is: “When a child forgets who’s boss, you spoil the child. Children need to play in the magical world of childhood without being responsible. In situations where adults are not creating boundaries and structure and children find themselves having to make too many choices, they disconnect from their natural willingness to cooperate and become demanding, selfish, needy or just more resistant,” he says.

“Being a parent is like playing the viola in public and learning the instrument as one goes along,” Quail tells us

as she passes her viola around and asks each of us to give it a go. It struck me that playing a violin, or any instrument, requires a certain amount of self-discipline (not unlike parenting). She then pointed out that the word ‘discipline’ (derived from the Latin meaning ‘to teach’) is the root of the word ‘disciple’. So it seems we have been missing the point when we have tried to beat children into submission… no wonder we live in such a torn apart world.

“Children learn from role models,” writes Gray, “not from lectures.” It doesn’t help to shout angrily at your children when they ignore your requests. “Our methods of discipline should model our values, not contradict them.

We must ‘be the change we want’,” explains Quail.

Everyone makes mistakes, and children are quick to forgive when you apologise if you lose your temper once in a while. Finding a way to keep an even keel in order to keep things consistent and sane has to be a priority, at least until they are old enough to balance their own boats in stormy waters.

“Children come into this world with the ability to love their parents,” Gray writes, “however they learn to love

themselves by the way they are treated by their parents and how their parents react when they make mistakes.”

It is quite normal for children to resist authority and to make mistakes. These are opportunities for learning and growing. It is up to the parents to use these opportunities positively.

Getting into the habit of praising and encouraging your children and taking note of the good things they do naturally encourages them to be more cooperative.

As a rule, Quail suggests one should aim to mention positive behaviour three times more than the negative.

This may require a conscious effort to change an old pattern.

In this crazy chaotic world, self-containment and selfdiscipline are the greatest gifts you can give your child.

Quail says that she can’t go from “Naught to Mama in 10 seconds,” so she makes sure she wakes up before her children and has a little time for her yoga and meditation before the day begins. Do whatever works for you.

Perhaps the challenge of having children is to grow up and take charge. It’s certainly mine.

discipline for peace checklist 1. Space What space are you in emotionally? Take a deep breath. Is your home cluttered and disordered? Are colours glaring and noises blaring? Try to banish clutter and any other over stimulating factors like noise that cause discomfort. Sensitive children in particular will react badly to noise and clutter.

2. Ritual and rhythm Children love predictability. It makes them feel safe. Regular schedules and daily rituals are very important.

3. Ask Don’t demand or order. Become aware of how you communicate. Are you using the same voice of authority you despised as a child? Use words like ‘would’ rather than ‘could’. Say ‘please’. Use inclusive language like ‘let’s do this’; don’t yell or use angry manipulative emotions. Don’t lecture. Be direct. Be assertive, not aggressive or passive.

4. Preparation and structure Prepare them in advance for transitions in their day by telling them clearly what the next sequence of events or activities will be and what to expect.

5. Listen Children often resist when there is something bothering them and their needs are not being met. Make it possible for them to communicate when something is bothering them.

6. Distraction and direction Good for tantrums over sweeties or toys.

7. Time-out Not longer than three minutes if they are three years old and four if they are four, etc.

8. Adjustment of boundaries Reining them in when they are taking advantage, or removing an object they are using to be destructive.

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recommended reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Children are from Heaven – How to Have Strong, Confident Children

by John Gray (Vermilion, 1999).

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feature

poker face Should you teach children to play poker? JEANNE MACLAY-MAYERS

y grandfather called it “the devil’s game”. My dad taught us how to play it. In fact, my dad was an ace poker player, so much so that he was planning to earn his crust through poker games at one stage, until he met my mom and gradually took up more middle-class ways. But he never lost his love of poker, and would pass on his skills to us children after suppertime in suburbia.

By his manner my dad imbued the game with a raffish charm, but he was adamant that winning the game was mainly about working with statistics. And that is probably the main lesson that poker offers: how to size up your chances of winning when you are considering different options.

As I recently explained to Max Hoffenberg, it is always tempting to try for a high-scoring straight or flush, but your

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chances of successfully getting the cards to complete your straight or flush are slim. It is much wiser to aim for three of a kind. Poker can teach children the relationship between risk and returns, and where they like to position themselves on the low-risk/high-risk continuum (although Max, at age nine, was more focused on the word “flush” and its potential in toilet humour).

Poker is also about people skills. Bluffing may be the best known (or most notorious) of these, but while bluffing does play a part in any game, just as valuable is being able to recognise the situations you shouldn’t try to bluff your way through. Also important is learning how to be a good loser, and how to quash the desire to gloat once you have won, which, if not mastered young, can lose you friends in the heady days of your adult successes.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: COMSTOCKCOMPLETE.COM

gives us her take on a much debated activity.

Then there is the “poker face” – which my longstanding friend Marcus Coetzee could never master. When playing with our family, young Marcus preferred to turn his back to the game, but we still speculated aloud about his cards and learnt to tell by his giggles whether we were right or not. Since then Marcus (now 36) has become a successful businessman, albeit a straight-talking one. Would a poker face have helped him in his career? I suspect it could come in handy in some situations. Poker is also a mine of sensible proverbs, for example: “Don’t throw good money after bad”. If you have been betting money on a particular hand, don’t be too stubborn to quit.

Some might say that a youth spent playing poker with matchsticks, Smarties or spiral pasta will lead to a gambling problem in later life, which involves real money.

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In my case it hasn’t; the only time I have entered our local casino is to go ice-skating. As far as I can tell, gamblers believe in luck. They go to a casino and hope fortune will smile upon them. But the very existence of the casino, its glossy exterior and luxury detailing, should tell them that fortune is smiling on the establishment and not its patrons. It has been said that gambling (with real money) is a tax on stupidity.

My childhood of poker did not lead me to believe in luck. However, clearly some people do have a gambling problem, and in some cases this can ruin their lives and those of their loved ones. Some of those people must have learnt gambling at a young age. Did their youthful experience of playing poker with their parents lead to their later problems?

Poker can teach children the relationship between risk and returns, and where they like to position themselves on the lowrisk/high-risk continuum…

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Dr Alissa Sklar of Canada’s International Centre for Youth Gambling Problems and High-Risk Behaviors thinks that parents should be careful about the messages sent out by their own behaviour. She believes: “If children see [parents] playing occasionally for fun, and with nothing of real value, it can send a positive message. Children who see parents gamble excessively learn something different altogether, and it can lead to problems for them later on.”

According to her organisation: “Children need to be taught to recognise the difference between skill and chance, and they need to understand that if they do gamble (even with matchsticks), they need to ‘know their limit and play within it’. Playing poker with children can be one way to teach them these things, but it should be done in an open way, with discussion about risk.”

She also adds a cautionary note, reminding parents that “the younger children are when they start gambling,

the more they are at risk for developing problems later on”. She warns that a big win early on can be a risk factor, because it makes children feel like they are particularly lucky or skilled at games of chance.

doing.” Research from his organisation suggests that 90% of the people it helps started gambling before adulthood.

This zero-tolerance approach to children and poker is shared by Rayda Jacobs, author of the novel Confessions of a Gambler. She says: “Knowing what I know now, I would never teach my children how to play poker. The reality is that Gamblers Anonymous is full of addicts who have learnt the game from parents or friends. Do you know whether your child has an addictive nature? And would you take the chance?”

After these sobering thoughts, will I teach poker to my daughter? I am sure I will, because I believe that in most situations education and moderation are a more effective combination than outright prohibition, which can leave children (and later the adult they become) quite naïve and susceptible to life’s scamsters. However, I will teach her not to play with money, because the thought of winning

Some might say that a youth spent playing poker with matchsticks, Smarties or spiral pasta will lead to a gambling problem in later life, which involves real money.

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Raj Govender, a director of the South African organisation Gamhelp, assists people who are facing the disastrous consequences of their gambling problems and he takes a strict stance on the issue of children and gambling. He advises parents not to expose children to gambling, and not to make gambling (even with matchsticks) acceptable to children. He says: “The seeds can be planted at a very young age, and parents don’t really realise what they are

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and losing mine and others’ hard-earned money makes me feel ill. I will teach her poker because it provides an entertaining springboard for discussions about the unavoidable choices of ordinary adult life, such as whether to invest in the stock market or the property market.

However, after talking to Raj and Rayda I would be more reticent to teach the game to other people’s children (although I did recently teach the game to our friends, the Steiners). Their teenage lad Luca (13) quickly picked up on the game and was soon happily beating us adults. (Beware the influence of this early win on your later risk behaviour, young Luca!) It seems that with the Steiners, as in my life, poker is a game that brings different generations together.

Is it fair to call matchstick poker “the devil’s game”?

While people who have been burnt by a gambling addiction may feel it’s an appropriate name, it seems that Reverend Robert Steiner is unlikely to agree, as I saw him saving the hierarchy of poker combinations onto his cellphone for later bonding sessions with his son Luca.

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book extract

spice it up In her book, More than Samoosas, Nazeeha Abrahams injects her Cape Malay cooking with a little Durban spice.

kitke rolls

5 x 250ml (5 cups) cake flour 10ml (2t) salt 30g (3 sachets) instant dry yeast 15ml (1T) white sugar 5ml (1t) anise seeds 2 large potatoes, peeled 60ml (¼ cup) butter or margarine 125ml (½ cup) warm full cream milk 3 large eggs, beaten 1 large egg, beaten, to glaze tops of rolls Sesame and poppy seeds for sprinkling

makes 20

Serve with any meal or even just with preserves and cheese.

Sift the flour and salt into a large mixing bowl. Add the yeast, sugar and anise seeds. Stir to mix. Boil the potatoes in salted water until soft. Drain and mash in a separate bowl. Add the butter and mash until fine. Add 125ml (½ cup) of the warm milk and stir until smooth and creamy.

Make a well in the centre of the flour mixture and add the 3 eggs and the mashed potato.

Mix together to form a soft dough. Add more flour if the dough is too wet, or more warm milk if the dough is too dry.

Sprinkle the dough with flour, cover with a dishcloth and leave in a warm place to rise for an hour, or until it’s doubled in size. Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Knock down the dough and transfer to a floured surface. Divide into 20 equal portions and roll each portion into rounds. Place on a greased baking tray. Brush with the beaten egg and sprinkle half with sesame seeds and half with poppy seeds. Leave to stand for 15 minutes. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 minutes, or until golden.

Variation: These rolls can be plaited or knotted for a different effect.

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dhaltjies (chilli bites) 375ml (1½ cups) pea/chana flour or chilli-bite mix 15ml (1T) cake flour 5ml (1t) baking powder 1 large onion, finely chopped or grated 1 large potato, coarsely grated 1 fresh green chilli, finely chopped 5ml (1t) salt 5ml (1t) turmeric 5ml (1t) ground jeera (cumin) 2,5ml (½t) crushed dried chillies 2,5ml (½t) red leaf masala 5ml (1t) garlic and ginger paste 60ml (¼ cup) chopped fresh dhania About 125ml (½ cup) cold water About 500ml (2 cups) cooking oil for deep-frying

makes about 30

Serve as a light anytime snack, or an accompaniment to soup.

In a large mixing bowl, sift flour and baking powder. Add the remaining ingredients, except the water and oil, and mix with just enough of the water to form a stiff batter. Use more water if necessary, but note that the batter should be able to hold its shape and not be runny.

Heat the oil in a small, deep pot or pan on medium heat. Once the oil is hot, add 1T of batter, one spoon at a time, making sure not to overcrowd the pot and to allow space for turning the bites. Slowly fry on either side until golden brown and crisp. Monitor the temperature of the oil to ensure that it doesn’t become too hot while frying.

Pierce the chilli bite with a fork to test if properly cooked: if the fork comes out dry, then the chilli bites are ready. Remove from the oil and drain in a colander or on paper towel.

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bobotie 1kg steak mince 5 slices stale bread, crusts removed 250ml (1 cup) water 45ml (3T) cooking oil 1 medium onion, chopped 10ml (2t) garlic paste 10ml (2t) salt 10ml (2t) curry powder 5ml (1t) turmeric 5ml (1t) red leaf masala 2,5ml (½t) mother-in-law masala 4 bay leaves 2,5ml (½t) ground cloves 2 large eggs 15ml (1T) lemon juice 40ml (8t) sugar 30ml (2T) butter or margarine

serves 6

This tasty dish is served with sweet yellow rice or mashed potato, and beetroot salad.

For the topping: 2 large eggs, lightly beaten 20ml (4t) full cream milk

Preheat the oven to 160°C. Wash and drain the mince and set aside.

Soak the bread in the water for 5 minutes, and then squeeze dry. Heat the oil in a large frying pan, add the onion and braise for 5 to 10 minutes until golden. Add the garlic paste, salt, curry powder, turmeric, red leaf masala, mother-in-law masala, bay leaves and ground cloves. Stir and simmer for 5 minutes. Place the drained mince into a mixing bowl along with the onion mixture, the eggs, lemon juice, bread, sugar and butter. Mix all of these ingredients thoroughly.

Spoon the mixture into a greased ovenproof dish and bake in the preheated oven for 40 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from the oven, mix the topping ingredients together and pour over the bobotie. Return to the oven for a further 5 to 10 minutes at 180°C, or until the topping is golden.

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butter biscuits 250g soft butter 250ml (1 cup) castor sugar 125ml (½ cup) cooking oil 5ml (1t) vanilla essence 625ml (2½ cups) cake flour

makes 24–30

These are my all-time favourite biscuits. They are rich in taste and light in texture.

Preheat the oven to 180°C. Cream the butter and castor sugar together until thick and creamy. Add the cooking oil and mix well. Add the vanilla essence and mix. Lastly, add the cake flour, 250ml (1 cup) at a time, mixing well after each addition to form a soft dough. Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface to about 8mm thick. Cut out shapes with various cookie cutters. Place the biscuits on a large baking sheet and, if you like, top each biscuit with a small piece of red glacé cherry or a sprinkling of hundreds and thousands. Press lightly with the back of a teaspoon before baking, if using the hundreds and thousands. Bake in a preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until lightly golden.

Variation: To prepare half-moon biscuits, use the same recipe but add 125ml (½ cup) finely chopped cashew nuts before adding the flour. Divide the dough into 20 equal portions. Roll each portion into a 5cm-long sausage shape, curve and press the ends lightly, forming a croissant or half-moon shape. Bake in the same manner. Immediately after baking, while the biscuits are still hot, dip each biscuit into icing sugar and then place on a cooling rack.

More Than Samoosas by Nazeeha Abrahams is published by Human & Rousseau, an imprint of NB Publishers. Nazeeha’s culinary journey started when, as a newly-wed, she was feeling lost in her own kitchen. Her mother was called in to guide her. With new-found confidence she explored the Cape Malay heritage, blending it with the exotic aromas of Durban’s spice market – to the great delight of her family.

The result is a tempting collection of colourful dishes. Easy, yet never boring, there is something for every taste and every occasion.

More Than Samoosas is available from most book stores and can be ordered from online book stores. The recommended retail price is R210.

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resource

hoorayfor holidays!

Staying home this December? Stay entertained with our 50-plus family-friendly things to do. Compiled by CHAREEN PENDERIS.

Adventure golf Popular outdoor family entertainment. Courses are situated in tranquil gardens with bridges and water features. When? 9am–10pm daily. Where? Venues around Joburg. For more info: visit adventuregolf.co.za

Angelo’s Kitchen The original children’s pizza making and family fun. When? noon–10pm daily. Where?

Coachman’s Crossing Shopping Centre, Bryanston. For more info: 011 463 5800

The Ann van Dyk Cheetah Centre (formerly De Wildt Cheetah and Wildlife Centre) This world renowned breeding and conservation centre offers various tours conducted by knowledgeable tour guides. When? Subject to booking. Where? R513, De Wildt. For more info: visit dewildt.org.za

The Apartheid Museum The first museum of its kind in the world, offering a unique opportunity to experience what apartheid South Africa was like. When? Tuesday–Sunday, 10am–5pm. Where? Ormonde, Joburg. For more info? visit apartheidmuseum.org

Bushbabies Monkey Sanctuary

Aquadome and Kidzone − Emerald Casino Resort

Chameleon Village Lifestyle Junxion

On the banks of the Vaal River, there are several restaurants; an indoor, climate controlled aquadome; bowling alley; climbing walls; adventure golf and animal world. When?

Aquadome: Sunday–Thursday, 10am-6pm; Friday and Saturday, 10am–8pm. Kidzone: 9am–11pm daily. Where? Vanderbijlpark. For more info: visit emeraldsafari.co.za

Over 10 hectares of curios, crafts and eateries as well as a fun park with motorised rides, petting zoo, pony rides and reptile park. When? 8:30am–5pm daily. Where?

Hartbeespoort. For more info: visit chameleonvillage.co.za

Croc City Crocodile Farm Avalanche Bum boarding fun down a 25m indoor snow slope. When? Monday–Saturday, 9am–5pm; Sunday, 9am–4pm. Where? Cedar Square, Cedar Rd, Fourways. For more info: visit avalanche.co.za

An opportunity to view crocodiles and hatchlings at close range. The curio shop sells a variety of souvenirs as well as vacuum packed crocodile meat. When? 9am–4:30pm daily.

Where? Old Pretoria Rd, Nietgedacht. For more info: visit croccity.co.za

Cullinan Village Bill Harrop’s “Original” Balloon Safaris Champagne balloon flights over the Magalies River Valley near Hartbeespoort Dam. When?

Daily but subject to booking. Where? Magaliesberg. For more info: visit balloon.co.za

The site of the discovery of the world’s largest diamond, this historical village is rich in historical and cultural heritage and has a varied arts, crafts and lifestyle community. When?

Varies. Where? North east of Pretoria. For more info: visit cullinanmeander.co.za

Bushbabies Monkey Sanctuary

Daytona Adventure Park

The sanctuary caters for orphaned and abused wild animals and is home to almost 70 rescued primates, offering structured and guided tours for all ages. When? Subject to booking. Where? Hartbeespoort Dam area. For more info: visit monkeysanctuary.co.za

Quad biking family fun for adults and children from 4 years. When? Subject to booking.

Where? Farm JR 388, 3km north of Fourways Mall, William Nicol Dr. For more info: 083 625 1537 or email daytonams@yebo.co.za

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Egoli Lodge

Footloose Trout Farm

The lodge keeps children busy with a climbing wall, jumping castles, a trampoline, ball pool, gym, Sit ’n Twists, jungle gym and more. A fully licensed lapa with DStv sports viewing keeps parents occupied. When? Tuesday–Sunday, 9:30am–4:30pm. Where?

Egoli Café, 17A Terrace Road, Eastleigh, Edenvale. For more info: 082 467 2345

Offering 13 well stocked dams for fly- and conventional fishing. There is a swimming pool, playground area, tuck shop and braai or picnic facilities and the Anglers’ Arms country restaurant. When? Tuesday–Sunday, 7:30am–5pm. Where? Just past the Indaba Hotel on the R511, Fourways. For more info: visit footloosetroutfarm.co.za

Elephant Sanctuary

Gillooly’s Farm

An opportunity to get close to gentle giants in indigenous African bush. Various educational tours are offered throughout the day as well as elephant rides. When? Subject to booking.

Where? Hartbeespoort Dam area. For more info: visit elephantsanctuary.co.za

Offering braai facilities around the lake as well as a restaurant with indoor and outdoor seating. A steep koppie walk offers views along the Linksfield Ridge. When? 8am–5pm daily. Where? Off the M3 highway, Senderwood. For more info: visit edenvale.za.net

The Goblin’s Cove Restaurant and Coffee Shop Step into a magical world of fairies and goblins. Set in a natural forest on the banks of a small lake on the Magaliesberg River. When? Subject to booking. Where? R24 Magaliesburg/Hekpoort. For more info: visit goblins.co.za

Gold Reef City

Gold Reef City

Created around an authentic 19th century gold mine, the theme park has an abundance of adventure rides, restaurants and historical sightseeing tours. When?

Tuesday–Sunday, 9:30am–5pm. Where?

Northern Parkway, Ormonde, Joburg. For more info: visit goldreefcity.co.za

Granny’s Garden Elephant Sanctuary

Set in secluded gardens you’ll find a bicycle track, craft room, computer room and outdoor play areas as well as an intimate tea garden. When? Monday–Friday, 10am–6pm; Saturday and Sunday, 8am–6pm. Where? 138 Barkston Dr, Blairgowrie. For more info: 011 326 4265

Flora Farm

Hedgehog Lane

One of the largest garden centres in South Africa. A secure playground is tucked away in a quiet corner of the property, flanked by Nino’s restaurant. When? 8:30am–5pm daily.

Where? 11 North Rand Rd, Boksburg. For more info: visit florafarm.co.za

Set in tranquil gardens you’ll find a wonderland of activities including a mini fun fair and a train ride as well as a reptilian farmyard. When? Holiday programme 9:30am–4:30pm daily.

Where? 278 Main Rd, Bryanston. For more info: visit hedgehoglane.co.za

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Irene Village Dairy

Lesedi Cultural Village

Take a visit to the English countryside. Children can feed the calves, watch cows being milked or play on a real tractor. Restaurant with indoor and outdoor seating. When?

8am–6pm daily. Where? 100 Nelmapius Dr, Irene. For more info: visit farmstore.co.za

Guests can view various cultural homesteads, browse through a Ndebele Village and craftmarket, view traditional dancing and enjoy delicious African food. When? Daily but booking is essential. Where? R512, Broederstroom. For more info: visit lesedi.com

Jozi X – Extreme Adventures

Lory Park Zoo and Owl Sanctuary

From jungle swings, trapeze and tightrope walking to skateboarding, sandboarding and Zorbing, extreme adventures for ages 5 upwards. When? Tuesday–Sunday, 10am–5pm.

Where? Cnr Main Rd and Sloane St, Bryanston. For more info: visit jozix.co.za

The home of South Africa’s biggest owl collection as well as a variety of big cats. When?

Tuesday–Sunday, 10am–4pm. Where? Midrand. For more info: visit lorypark.co.za

Ludwig’s Rose Farm Klipriviersberg Nature Reserve Stone River Mountain is a 680 hectare nature reserve and home to many bird species as well as blesbok, zebra and duiker. Walking trails and horse trails (on request). When? Daily from sunrise to sunset. Where? Peggy Vera Rd, Kiblerpark. For more info: visit knra.co.za

The largest rose farm in South Africa and home to the only free flying butterfly exhibit in Gauteng. When? 8:30am–5pm daily. Where? Off the N1 highway and Wallmannsthal offramp, Pretoria. For more info: visit ludwigsroses.co.za

Magaliesberg Canopy Tours Laserquest – Battle Zone Play cops and robbers in an abandoned movie warehouse type environment. Similar to paintball but players use lasers and wear interactive packs. When? 9:30am–11pm daily.

Where? Brightwater Commons, Republic Rd, Randburg. For more info: 011 789 5052

Slide above the Ysterhout Kloof from 11 platforms built against the cliffs and rock faces.

Suitable for ages 7 upwards. When? Subject to booking. Where? Sparkling Waters Hotel & Spa, Magaliesburg. For more info: visit magaliescanopytour.co.za

Magalies Barbus Haven Lesedi Cultural Village

Spend time with the family learning the fine art of fly-fishing. Costs include time with an experienced guide, equipment, snack pack for children and access to trout/bass dam. When? Subject to booking. Where? Magaliesberg area. For more info: visit sundowner.co.za

Maropeng Visitor Centre Tour 2 500m² of exhibits on an underground boat ride. Children can dig for fossils, “phone” a Dodo or “meet” a hairy mammoth. When? 9am–5pm daily. Where? Just off the R563 Hekpoort Rd, Hekpoort. For more info: visit maropeng.co.za

MG Raceway Africa’s largest indoor go-kart track. Suitable for children aged 4 upwards. When?

Subject to booking. Where? Cedar Square Shopping Centre, Fourways. For more info: 079 840 9966 or 082 940 0107

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Montecasino Bird Gardens

The Oriental Plaza

Situated within tranquil gardens, there are daily Flights of Fantasy bird shows, a walkthrough aviary, frog room, several reptiles and even meerkats, sloths and lemurs.

Flamingo Café serves light meals. When? 8:30am–5pm daily. Where? Montecasino Boulevard, Fourways. For more info: 011 510 7000, 011 510 7809, 011 510 1864 or visit montecasino.co.za

The gateway to Mary Fitzgerald Square, Nelson Mandela Bridge, Constitution Hill and the Newtown Cultural Precinct. The Plaza will surprise you with exotic spices, fabrics, flavours and scents. When? Monday–Friday, 8:30am–5pm; Saturday, 8:30am–1:30pm. Where?

Fordsburg, Joburg. For more info: visit orientalplaza-fordsburg.co.za

Polka Dot Art Studio Children can interact with their peers and develop social skills while being creative and expressing themselves artistically. When? 11:30am–4pm daily. Where? 4th Ave and 11th St, Parkhurst. For more info: visit polkadotartstudio.co.za

Potting Around A contemporary art studio where you can get creative with ceramics, mosaics or decoupage. When? Varies from 9am–5pm. Where? Northfield Centre, 17 Northfield Avenue, Glenhazel. For more info: visit pottingaround.co.za

Predator World Sun City

Specialising in predators of all shapes and sizes including white lions, hyenas, jackals and vultures. The restaurant area has a jungle gym and farmyard. When? 9am–5pm daily.

Where? R556, 5km from Sun City. For more info: visit predatorworld.co.za

National Zoo, Aquarium and Reptile Park

Real Trees Adventure Farm

The proud new home of South Africa’s only two Kimodo Dragons. The zoo has picnic spots, braai facilities and a cableway. When? 8:30am–4:30pm daily. Where? 232 Boom St, Pretoria. For more info: visit nzg.ac.za

Children can climb real trees, play in mud, do an obstacle course with foefie slides and rope swings and even ride ponies. Braai and picnic facilities available. When? Tuesday–Sunday, 9am–5:30pm. Where? 1 Huntsman Close, Kyalami. For more info: 083 675 7979

Ngwenya Glass Village

Rhino and Lion Nature Reserve

Watch the ancient art of glassblowing at work and buy handmade recycled glassware. Enjoy a lunch at either Gilroy’s brewery or Zest – World of Food. Also a children’s playground.

When? Monday–Friday, 8am–4:30pm; Saturday and Sunday, 9am–4:30pm. Where? Off Beyers Naudé Drive, Muldersdrift. For more info: visit shadesofngwenya.co.za

Situated in Cradle of Humankind, a world heritage site, the reserve is home to indigenous and exotic animals. Play park and restaurant on site. When? 8am–5pm daily. Where?

Kromdraai Rd, Cradle of Humankind. For more info: visit rhinolion.co.za

Northgate Ice Arena Skating fun for the whole family. When? 10am–10:30pm daily. Where? Northgate Shopping Centre, Witkoppen Rd, Northgate. For more info: visit triice.co.za

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SA National Museum of Military History The only museum of its kind in South Africa. Showcasing military memorabilia from as far back as World War I. When? 9am–4:30pm daily. Where? Erlswold Way, Saxonwold. For more info: visit militarymuseum.co.za

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Sci-Bono Discovery Centre

Wild Waters

Similar to the Exploratorium in San Francisco, the centre will intrigue and entertain budding scientists with several interactive exhibits. When? 8am–5pm daily. Where? Cnr Miriam Makeba St and President St, Newtown. For more info: visit sci-bono.co.za

A world of water fun with nine exciting rides. There are picnic spots and braai facilities as well as a tuck shop. When? 10am–5pm daily. Where? Jan Smuts Ave, Boksburg. For more info: visit wildwatersboksburg.co.za

Smudge

Wonderwall

Children’s art and creative centre focusing on art, music, dress up and reading. There is a baby play area for toddlers under 2 and a coffee shop. When? Tuesday–Friday, 10am–5pm.

Where? Valley Centre, Jan Smuts Ave, Craighall. For more info: visit smudgeart.co.za

Put on your climbing shoes, get strapped into a harness and climb up any one of several indoor graded climbing walls. When? Monday–Friday, 10am–10pm; Saturday and Sunday, 9am–6pm. Where? Kya Sands Village, Randburg. For more info: visit wonderwall.co.za

Sterkfontein Caves

Yeesh!

A declared world heritage site with an interactive exhibition showcasing the finds of hominid fossils “Mrs Ples” and “Little Foot”. When? 9am–5pm daily. Where? Cradle of Humankind. For more info: visit maropeng.co.za

Indoor play venue with a separate toddler soft play area, coffee shop and The Paint Pot, a creative area where children can paint T-shirts and ceramics. When? Tuesday–Sunday, 9am–5pm. Where? Woodmead Commerical Park, Waterfall Crescent, Woodmead. For more info: visit yeesh.co.za

Sun City A host of entertainment for the whole family including golf, game viewing, cinemas, Valley of the Waves, several restaurants and shops. When? Gates open 9am–6pm daily. Where?

1 Sun Village Rd, Pilanesberg. For more info: visit suncity.co.za

Zoo Lake A popular spot for picnicking, walking your dog or taking a leisurely boat ride. Also home to popular African themed restaurant, Moyo. When? Sunrise to sunset. Where? Cnr Jan Smuts Ave and Westwold Rd, Parkview. For more info: visit footprint.co.za/zoolake

Van Gaalen’s Cheese Farm A working farm still producing cheese according to old Dutch traditions. Offers a garden restaurant, mountain biking trail, horse riding, playground and animal farm. When?

8am–5pm except Tuesday. Where? Skeerpoort. For more info: visit vangaalen.co.za

Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden Landscaped indigenous gardens, open veld areas and the Witpoortjie Waterfall − also home to a pair of breeding eagles. Bring your own picnic lunch or enjoy lunch at the Eagle’s Fare Restaurant. When? 8am–5pm daily. Where? Malcolm Rd, Poortview, Roodepoort. For more info: visit sanbi.org

Wild Cave Adventures Offering adventure caving, rockface abseiling, hiking, climbing and a specialised children’s Bats Cave adventure. When? Subject to booking. Where? Cradle of Humankind. For more info: visit wildcaves.co.za

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Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden

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books

the good book guide for toddlers pick of the month

God’s Dream

By Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Douglas Carlton Abrams (Jacana Media, R112) In warm and simple words, Nobel Peace Prize winner Desmond Tutu reaches out to children everywhere with his inspiring message of love and forgiveness. Tutu explains “that God’s Dream is a place where laughter, love, and peace reign and where we realize that we are all members of one family – God’s family”. It’s a wish that everyone will see they are brothers and sisters, no matter their way of speaking to God, no matter the size of their nose or the shade of their skin. With vibrant illustrations by LeUyen Pham, this truly South African gem will make a lovely gift for any child.

Buggy Buddies

By Emily Bolam (Campbell Books, R70) Buggy Buddies celebrated its 10-year anniversary last year, and to mark this special occasion, Campbell Books has released updated versions of two of the very first Buggy Buddies ever published. Children will love to chase along with Puppy as he scampers after his bouncing ball.

With new, updated covers and bold, bright illustrations by popular author Emily Bolam, these books are sure to entertain and delight a whole new generation of young readers. The other collector’s item is called Kitty.

The Rabbit Problem

By Emily Gravett (Macmillan Children’s Books, R155) Hop along to Fibonacci’s Field and follow Lonely and Chalk Rabbit as they try to cope with their fast-expanding brood and handle a different seasonal challenge each month, from the cold of February to the wet of April and the heat of July. This extraordinary picture book is packed with gorgeous details and novelty elements, including a baby rabbit record book, a carrot recipe book and a surprise pop-up ending. Gravett’s first book, Wolves, won the Macmillan Prize in 2004 and the Kate Greenaway medal in 2006. Two years later she won the Greenaway again with Little Mouse’s Big Book of Fears.

Wipe Clean: Funtime Colours

By Caroline Jayne Church (Campbell Books, R90) Children can use the big, bright chalks to learn about colours and create brilliant pictures on the magical drawon, wipe-off pages of this fun-filled book. They can let their imaginations run wild, wipe the pages clean and start over again – perfect for budding artists. The book teaches children from one year and older about first concepts. It also encourages hand-eye coordination and stimulates creative development. Also available in this series is Playtime Numbers. Caroline Jayne Church is an awardwinning illustrator. Her book Hungry Hen ranked as one of the top-five bestselling books in the UK in 2002.

Hanukkah Lights and Christmas Tree

By David Martin (Walker Books, R88 each) Beautiful illustrations and easy-to-understand language bring the holidays to life for the youngest of children. At Christmas time, a tree from the outside comes inside, just waiting to be decorated. And some of the tree’s ornaments are inspired by outdoor things, too – a snowflake, a ball, a bird, and a star. At Hanukkah, there are many much anticipated rituals — latkes to eat, dreidels to spin, presents to give and receive, and shiny gold treats. Add some fun, singing and dancing for a warm, truly childfriendly celebration.

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My Grandma is a Star

By Carl Norac (Macmillan Children’s Books, R140) This little boy loves his grandma for all the wonderful things she can do. To him she seems to be a superbendy gymnast, a rocket-ship pilot, a secret agent and a clown. But most of all he loves her because she’s his very own grandma. The latest addition to this charming and popular series, featuring a characterful grandma for the 21st century, is a tender book with warm and humorous illustrations that will make a perfect gift for any grandmother or grandchild. joburg’s

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books continued... for early graders The Pain and the Great One: Friend or fiend? & Cool Zone

By Judy Blume (Macmillan Children’s Books, R120 & R79) Following the success of Soupy Saturdays and Going, Going, Gone!, the next two books in this funny series about sibling rivalry continues to entertain young children. Eight-year-old Abigail (“The Great One”) and her six-year-old brother, Jake (“The Pain”) state their cases about each other and who is best-loved by their parents, often with hilarious results and a little life lesson thrown in. In these warm and funny stories, Judy Blume brilliantly captures just what it’s like to have, or to be, a brother or sister. The chapter books are beautifully illustrated by Kate Pankhurst.

for pre-teens and teens

Just about Us & Fast and Fabulous Room Makeovers

By T. Bugbird (Make Believe Ideas, R95 each) Just about Us is for younger girls and their friends and what they like to do. Inside there are ideas for things to make and do, games to play and pages to fill in with all the important ‘stuff’ girls love so much to keep as memories. In Room Makeovers your daughter will find inspiration to decorate her own room – from making hangers and picture frames to style tips and ideas for a complete room makeover. A quiz at the start of the book will help you decide what kind of room you want. In both books there are over 50 stickers to help with designs as well as scrapbook space.

Horrid Henry’s House of Horrors

By Francesca Simon (Orion Children’s Books, R120) The fifth fabulous Horrid Henry collection contains 10 of the best previously published stories with new colour pictures, illustrated by Tony Ross, and lots of brilliant extras, including Henry’s secret language, the photos his family don’t want you to see, and family secrets they don’t want anyone to know. This collector’s book includes popular Horrid Henry stories, such as Horrid Henry’s Car Journey, Horrid Henry Runs Away, Horrid Henry’s Christmas Presents and Horrid Henry’s Hobby. This is a great gift for all the Horrid Henry fans out there.

I Spy a (not so) White Lie

By Karen McCombie

The Pocket Guide To Girl Stuff & The Pocket Guide To Boy Stuff

By Bart King (Gibbs Smith, R88) Sometimes girls just need a little guidance and know-how. They’ll get that and more with this guide. Acclaimed author Bart King delves into the secret world of girls, with the help of his five sisters and 50 other young ladies. Fashion, friends and fun stuff – everything is covered in this volume that’s petite enough to fit in any girl’s purse. In The Pocket Guide To Boy Stuff, King introduces boys to all the important things they need to know but adults don’t want to tell them. From cool experiments and essential gadgets to flying things and gross stuff.

(Macmillan Children’s Books, R84) Upbeat, funny and quirky, I Spy is the ninth book in this very popular series by British children’s author Karen McCombie. Your child will love 10-year-old Indie Kidd who, in this edition, wonders just how bad a little white lie can be. When Indie is caught telling her mother a fib, she is grounded. But when a new girl April starts telling tall tales, it’s not April who suffers but Indie. Children will learn how a small lie can get you into hot water, as Indie Kidd finds out that it’s always better to tell the truth.

Doodle on! Holiday Doodles

By Smriti Prasadam-Halls (Macmillan Children’s Books, R150) This is the perfect gift for the holidays. From drawing who’s on the tour bus, to deciding what’s on the braai, this book is packed with lots of holiday doodles – all that is needed are pencils or crayons. Children can create their own movie poster, design a board game, make a tourist map or create their own paintings – just get the pencils ready and let their imaginations run wild. There are over 150 activity pages, bound in a sturdy, colourful cover with so many doodles to do, children will be kept busy for hours.

Eric in It’s a Piece of Cake

By Lulu and Tee (Linda Fellows, R65) This is the true story of Eric the Baboon, the alpha male of the Slangkop troop on the Cape Peninsula. Eric is a living legend in the Kommetjie area. He and his troop are renowned for raiding homes and shops for food and his favourite is carrot cake, which he nicks on a fairly regular basis from the local coffee shop. One day after injuring himself, Eric was rescued and taken to the local vet. While his wounds were healing, he refused to eat. Everyone thought this was the end of the road for Eric. Read to find out if Eric gets back to his troop. By buying this magical, fun, educational and truly South African book, you will help to save the Chacma baboons.

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Missing, Believed Crazy

By Terence Blacker (Macmillan Children’s Books, R155) Five children at an exclusive private school hatch a daring plan to fake a kidnap and raise money for charity. There’s brainy scholarship boy, Wiki, superglam Jade, too-cool-for-school Mark, everyone’s best friend Holly – and then there’s Trix. It was her brilliant idea in the first place. A kidnapping, a rural hideaway, loads of money… and all for the very best of motives: helping children in need. What could possibly go wrong? The story is a bit like Robin Hood, only more illegal and with round-theclock coverage by the world’s media. Five children in a fake kidnapping scam can only make for hilarious and thrilling reading.

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more books... for pre-teens and teens

Deeper

By Roderick Gordon and Brian Williams (The Chicken House, R116) The series features 14-year-old Will Burrows, whose life is turned upside-down when his father goes missing suddenly. With the help of his friend Chester, Will discovers a tunnel under his house, which brings him into contact with a hidden city called the Colony, and the terrifying and brutal race of people who rule it. These people are called the Styx, and they want to take control of the surface.

In the sequel to the underground bestseller Tunnels, Will Burrows’s adventure is far from over. In his quest to find his father, Will is plunged even deeper underground. The third book in the series, Freefall is already available in the UK.

Airhead: Being Nikki

By Meg Cabot

Read Me At School Gaby Morgan

(Macmillan Children’s Books, R150) This is the follow-up to the very popular Airhead, where tomboy Em Watts takes over teen supermodel Nikki Howard’s body after a freak accident. It’s not easy for poor Em, or Nikki as everyone else now refers to her. Especially when Nikki’s past is about to catch up with her. Her boss is spying on her and Em’s heart wants one thing but her lips keep kissing someone else. Em now has to learn to walk down a catwalk in only teenytiny underwear and very high heels. This is a funny, crazy, super-glamorous thriller from the author of The Princess Diaries.

(Macmillan Children’s Books, R120) This book contains a poem for each day of the year, as chosen by Gaby Morgan, from the very best modern and classic poets.

There are poems about teachers, school pets, school trips, best friends, playtime, school plays, school meals, visiting authors, sports day, school ghosts, uniforms, the start of term, the end of term and even school holidays. Poets included are Paul Cookson, Roger Stevens, Brian Moses, Michael Rosen, Roger McGough and many more. This is the perfect gift for a teenager who loves poetry.

Open Me Up – Everything you need to know about the human body Senior Editor Julie Ferris (Penguin Group, R240) This stunning book will even have nonscience fans begging to read more.

This title provides everything your child needs to know about the human body.

Show your child how all the bony, bloody and squelchy goings on inside their bodies make it work. They’ll learn about everything; from human cells and senses to brain structure and body systems. Quirky twists and concepts tick the side-splitting box – where else are they going to find the digestive system modelled out of balloons or a cartoon strip telling the story of the discovery of penicillin? This title offers a gutsy, cheeky and handy look at the human body.

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for us

The Girl Who Played With Fire & The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest

By Stieg Larsson (MacLehose Press, R185 & R123) These two books, in addition to their predecessor, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, are part of the Millennium trilogy. Stieg Larsson died shortly after delivering the trilogy to his publisher and he did not live to enjoy the phenomenon that his work has become. Larsson’s main character in these books is the sassy Lisbeth Salander who has been called the most original heroine to emerge in crime fiction for years. The Girl Who Played With Fire has been described as even better than the first, and the third and final book in the trilogy is the culmination of one of the most mesmerizing fictional achievements of our time.

The Horse Boy

By Rupert Isaacson (Penguin Group, R210) When his son Rowan is diagnosed with autism, Rupert Isaacson is devastated; afraid he might never be able to communicate with his child. But when Isaacson, a lifelong horseman, rides his neighbour’s horse with his son, Rowan improves immeasurably. He is then struck with a crazy idea: why not take Rowan to Mongolia, the one place in the world where horses and shamanic healing intersect? It seems like the trip is doomed from the start, but things begin to happen to Rowan as his language and behaviour slowly start to improve. He also has a magical connection with horses. This is a deeply moving, truly oneof-a-kind story of a family willing to go to the ends of the earth to help their son.

Clean Breaks: 500 New Ways To See The World (Penguin Group, R320) Here are 500 fantastic experiences that will inspire you to see the world in a new light. It contains unusual holidays and alternative ways to travel that make a real difference to the lives of local people and the planet. Unique accommodation options are listed, such as mud huts and treehouses in Jamaica. There are details of amazing wildlife tours, such as tracking wolves and bears in Poland, as well as an array of climate-friendly travel options and adventurous experiences, such as living among the Bedouins and kayaking around the Scottish Isles. If you do only one thing mentioned in his book, you’ll be the richer for it.

1000 CEOs

By Andrew Davidson (Penguin Group, R380) When it comes to being the best, it pays to learn from the best. 1000 CEOs is incisive and insightful and an opportunity to meet the people who do the business. Draw on the vision and leadership of iconic CEOs who inspire the world’s top-performing teams. Find out how maverick executives make innovation happen and discover the strategies topcompany CEOs use to deliver high-performance results every time. This book is a must on the bookshelf of anyone who is serious about business.

Gatherings: A Year of Invitations

By Nataniël

featured book

(Human & Rousseau, R248) With his fourth cookbook, singer, entertainer, author and entrepreneur Nataniël pays tribute to the joys of home cooking and entertaining. Gatherings documents a year of special events, from birthday parties, romantic dinners for two, midweek feasts and impromptu meals to Christmas and Easter celebrations, a picnic and stork tea. Nataniël shares his all-time favourite dishes and includes recipes for light in-between snacks.

Beautifully photographed by Clinton Lubbe, Gatherings will become your year-long kitchen companion.

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electronic reviews

gizmos & gadgets Nintendo Wii Sports Resort (Nintendo, R699) This summer bring an entire island along with 12 super-realistic sports to your living room. The new Wii Sports Resort comes with the new Wii MotionPlus accessory, which plugs into your existing Wii Remote, giving players an even more immersive, realistic gaming experience.

Every sport featured in Wii Sports Resort responds with unprecedented accuracy to the exact angle of your arm. Try out power cruising, wakeboarding, canoeing, air sports action and plenty more. Get ready to have the sports holiday of your life, without leaving your home.

Wii: Drawn to Life: The Next Chapter (Ster Kinekor, R449) Experience an all-new Drawn to Life adventure in the first Wii game that lets you draw your own hero. You play as your hero and use the Wii remote to draw over 100 customisable weapons, tools, vehicles and wings designed to help you stop an evil thief before it’s too late. You can explore your artistic freedom with robust drawing tools that provide you with many template colours, brush types, guides and stamps.

Marvel Super Hero Squad (Ster Kinekor, R449) Assemble your squad and fight your way to victory to save the citizens of Super Hero City from the evil schemes of Dr Doom and the Lethal Legion in this multi-player adventure game inspired by the action-packed animated Marvel series, Super Hero Squad. Fight through campaigns full of adventure or wage an all-out battle in the streets of dynamic environments, as you mix and match superheroes and villains with their own unique powers and abilities.

Leapfrog Tag Junior (Prima Toys, R499,99) Using the same amazing touch technology as the Tag Reading System, Tag Junior is designed to encourage toddlers’ natural desire to explore, while introducing preschool skills through playful book-based activities. Each Tag Junior board introduces a different preschool skill such as the alphabet, counting or social play. Open-ended questions and fun sound effects encourage your child to take charge as they touch any part of any page to bring words, pictures and activities to life. You can also connect the book pal to the online LeapFrog Learning Path to see your child’s progress and get printable activities to expand their learning.

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Monopoly Electronic Banking South African Edition (Prima Toys, R559,99) Wheel and deal your way to a fortune using debit cards instead of cash. All it takes is a card swipe for money to change hands. You can collect rent, buy properties and pay fines with the touch of a button. It’s a new way to play the family classic that’s been brought up to date with higher property values and locations based on your favourite landmarks (Table Mountain, Cango Caves, Sun City Resort, Mac Mac Falls and Nelson Mandela Bridge), as well as brand new Community Chest and Chance cards.

The Kids Are All Right (Just Fun Toys, R499,95) This electronic board game with lights and sounds is based on the hit BBC show. It’s a show that pits adults against children in a thrilling battle of wits. Adults compete to win cash prizes but there are super-children aged nine to 15, who are determined to see the adults go home with nothing. Over a course of five brain-busting rounds, your intellect will be stretched to the limits as you try to beat the children for the cash.

The tense, high-jeopardy final game is the ultimate decider.

Audio Books The Reluctant Dragon read by Anton Lesser, I Live in a Mad House by Kaye Umansky, The Aardvark Who Wasn’t Sure read by Maureen Lipman and Ballet Shoes starring Rosemary Leach (BBC Audio, R132,95; R189,95; R132,95 and R209,95) The Reluctant Dragon is the much loved tale by Kenneth Grahame about a dragon who doesn’t want to fight and the boy who becomes his friend. When the villagers discovers the existence of the dragon they send St George to slaughter the beast. What the villagers don’t know is that this dragon is friendly, polite, composes poetry and purrs when he’s happy. This is a charming, humorous story from the acclaimed author of The Wind in the Willows.

Kaye Umansky, who also brought us the bestselling Pongwiffy, tells the hilarious story I Live in a Mad House. Tim spends half-term cleaning cars, while screaming toddlers take over his home. Luckily, Flora is on hand to help out and share a joke with. Things are looking up, until they encounter a very angry customer and a very wet Rottweiler.

Ladies of Letters star Maureen Lipman reads the classic children’s story The Aardvark Who Wasn’t Sure. This heartwarming story from bestselling author Jill Tomlinson is ideal for young listeners, who can identify with baby animals and their attempts to find out who they are.

Rosemary Leach stars in the BBC Radio 4 full-cast dramatisation of Noel Streatfeild’s children’s classic, Ballet Shoes. When Sylvia and her old nurse Nana agree to keep house for Great Uncle Matthew (or Gum), they know they’ll be looking after his fossil collection while he is away. Imagine their surprise when Gum brings them three babies to take care of. This is an enchanting dramatisation of this novel.

These great audio books are available from all leading bookstores as well as The Listeners’ Library.

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calendar

1 tuesday

December is World AIDS Month Despite effective treatment, many people with HIV still do not have access to life-saving antiretrovirals.

Do you know or think that anyone close to you is HIV positive? Give them the gift of life: make an appointment for them to be assessed at ZuziMpilo Medical Centre. ZuziMpilo offers HIV diagnosis and treatment. It is a specialised HIV/AIDS clinic offering counselling and HIV testing, CD4 counts, HIV wellness, life-saving ARVs and TB diagnosis in a friendly, nonjudgmental environment. ZuziMpilo is open during the week until 6pm and on Saturday until 3pm. This includes the festive season. ZuziMpilo is easily accessed by taxi, train or car.

Contact one of their approachable doctors or nurses: 0860 467 456 or visit zuzimpilo.co.za

2 December – Pinocchio

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Smudge is hosting a feast of Christmas crafts and fun at their holiday workshops.

Not only can you write a letter and post it to Santa but you can also make your own placemats, fabric puppets, Christmas decorations and lots more. Ends 20 December. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Valley Shopping Centre, Craighall. Cost: R100 per hour. Contact: 011 501 0234, email sandra@smudgeart.co.za or visit smudgeart.co.za Seussical Jr – The Musical Explore the witty and wild musical world of Dr. Seuss as never seen before. Featuring The Cat in the Hat and other favourites. Ends 24 December. Time: varies. Venue: National Children’s Theatre, 3 Junction Ave, Parktown. Cost: adults R70, children R60.

Contact Sue or Miranda: 011 484 1584, email admin@jyt.co.za or visit jyt.co.za Bryanston moonlight markets A taste of Irish fun as The Waldorf String Band performs its own brand of traditional folk music. Dine and shop under the Joburg stars. Every Tuesday until 22 December.

Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: Bryanston Organic Market, Culross Rd, Bryanston. Cost: free entry. Contact Julie: 011 706 3671 or visit bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za The Nutcracker Mzansi Productions stages the classical ballet about a young German girl who dreams of a Nutcracker Prince and a fierce battle against a Mouse King with seven heads. Ends 6 December.

Time: 8pm during the week and 3pm on Sunday. Venue: The Lyric Theatre at Gold Reef City Casino. Cost: R69–R199. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Art Excel and Yes workshops for children 8–18 years are fun, interactive life skills workshops designed to help children and teens deal with negative emotions and stress while building self-esteem and confidence. Ends 5 December. Time: 2:30pm–5:30pm. Also Saturday, 9am– 3pm. Venue: Knowledge Base, Bryandale Primary School, Bryanston. Contact Harsha: 083 776 2223 or email harshavaryani@hotmail.com The Fun Factory Santa’s got a special mailbox waiting to be filled with all your Christmas letters. Children can also make some fun Christmas crafts while moms enjoy a cup of coffee. Closes 15 December. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: 54 6th St, Parkhurst. Cost: free entry; pay for crafts. Contact Yolanda: 011 022 9275 or 083 326 4933

2 wednesday Cinderella on Ice The world famous Imperial Ice Stars recreate the classic tale of Cinderella in an icy wonderland. Ends 10 January. Time: varies. Venue: Teatro at Montecasino. Cost: R100–R380. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Pinocchio For the first time ever, Janice Honeyman’s annual pantomime includes dancers from SA Ballet Theatre. This year’s feature is the story of Geppetto’s son, Pinocchio, a wooden puppet desperate to become a real boy. Expect a traditional South African flavour and loads of laughs.

Ends 3 January. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: The Mandela Theatre at Joburg Theatre, Braamfontein. Cost: from R176–R252. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Gold Reef City Theme Park A list of some of the most exciting action attractions in town makes the theme park a firm favourite among children of all ages, whether it’s a special occasion or a simple weekend outing. Older children and teenagers love hair-raising adventure rides like Miner’s Revenge, Anaconda and Tower of Terror.

Children of all ages are entranced by the larger-than-life illusions created in Africa’s only 4D theatre while a range of street entertainment like gumboot dancing, magic shows and fascinating historical attractions − including the Jozi’s Story of Gold Heritage Tour − means that there’s something for everyone. There’s plenty on offer for the little ones too with a farmyard, a Kiddies’ Corner featuring the brand new Shongololo Kiddies’ Coaster, a carousel and a massive indoor play city for tiny tots to provide hours of safe fun for those too little for the big rides. The Hippodrome hosts some of the most exciting music and theatre productions for audiences of all ages − including shows featuring world famous and much-loved characters like Winnie the Pooh and Barney. For more info: visit goldreefcity.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SXC.HU

what’s on in dec/jan

For a free listing, email your event to joburg@childmag.co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971. Information must be received by 8 January for the February issue and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. COMPILED BY CHAREEN PENDERIS.

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Build-a-Bear Workshop® December will see Build-A-Bear Workshop® stores around the country transform into Santa’s Workshop over the festive season. Santa’s elves have been given special pawmission to take over Build-A-Bear Workshop® and to provide you and your children with a beary special experience. Build-A-Bear Workshop® is an exciting experience store where you and your little one have the opportunity to make your very own, personalised teddy bear. The Build-A-Bear Workshop® is filled with loads to do! Choose your new furry friend, stuff it 3 December – Noddy

The Little Mermaid This is the well loved story of a beautiful young mermaid, Ariel, who longs to leave the ocean to marry her human prince. The production is filled with comedy, song and dance. Time: 9am, 10:30am or 11am. Venue: Peoples Theatre, Braamfontein. Cost: R80. Contact Andrew or Lorraine: 011 403 1563 or email peoplestheatre@artslink.co.za Carols with the guide dogs It’s that time of year again − come out and support the guide dogs by adding your voice to the choir of carollers from St Peters Senior College. Food and refreshments are on sale, otherwise bring your picnic goodies.

Time: 7pm. Venue: The Guide Dog Training Centre, 126 Wroxham Rd (off Witkoppen), Paulshof. Cost: adults R20, children R10.

For more info: 087 754 9295 or visit guidedog.org.za Little Cooks Club Time for festive fun as you learn how to decorate Christmas cakes with your little ones. Booking is essential.

Time: 2pm–3:30pm. Venue: Fourways and Dainfern. Cost: R180. Contact Deborah:

with love, add its very own heart and create its unique personality from the hundreds of outfits and accessories available. Come and experience the gift of giving this festive season, make a bear for R50 or spend R350 on your bear and make a bear free of charge for a child in need of a beary big hug. New in store are the Hal and Holly holiday bears and coming soon are Jonas Dog, Hello Kitty and Alvin and the Chipmunks. Also new to Build-ABear Workshop® is the Bear Registry where you can create your own special wishlist. Ends 5 January. Contact 08611BEARS (23277) and visit buildabear.co.za. You can also have online fun at buildabearville.com

082 874 2851, email littlecooksclub.co.za or visit littlecooksclub.co.za

3 thursday Noddy Based on Enid Blyton’s much loved Toyland character, Noddy and his friends Big Ears, Mr Plod and Tessie Bear offer an interactive experience. They encourage children to converse with the characters or sing along to the easy tunes while learning the importance of friendship and life skills. Ends 20 December.

Time: 10am and 1pm. Venue: 64 @ The Palace, Emperors Palace. Cost: children R70. Includes a pizza and soft drink at Col’Cacchio Pizzeria. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Nedbank Golf Challenge If you can’t beat them, why not join them? Watch as some of the top international golfers compete in one of the world’s richest golf tournaments. Ends 6 December. Time: 11am. Venue: Gary Player Country Club, Sun City. Cost: R80–R200. For more info: visit nedbankgolfchallenge.com or book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Honk! The Musical This is a contemporary retelling of Hans Christian Andersen’s classic story, The Ugly Duckling, with a score that everyone will enjoy. Ends 19 December.

Time: 2pm and 7pm. Venue: Space Frame Theatre, Wits College of Education, Parktown.

Cost: R80. For more info and bookings: 073 725 7381 or visit samta.co.za Christmas market Wander through fresh flower and food stalls at this traditional European style market. This month, it takes on a Christmas theme with goodies ranging from chocolate chilli torte to Christmas cakes and decorations.

Ends 5 December. Time: 3 and 4 December, 4pm–9pm; 5 December, 8am–9pm. Venue: Hazel Food Market, Hazelwood, Pretoria. Cost: free admission.

For more info: 083 554 5636 or visit hazelfoodmarket.co.za

4 friday 21 December – SpongeBob SquarePants – The Sponge Who Could Fly – a New Musical! Get ready for yellow square mania when the question on everyone’s lips will be: “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?” SpongeBob SquarePants – The Sponge Who Could Fly − A New Musical! hits our sunny shores this festive season. SpongeBob is much more than a porous, square, yellow sponge with a starfish for a best mate and a dream of flying... he is the Coolest Cartoon Character for the second year in a row in the Sunday Times Generation Next Survey and he is coming to South African stages for the first time ever. The lovable sea sponge, his best starfish buddy Patrick and a host of their fun friends will dive from the small screen into the theatre in this live, fun, visually stunning new stage musical, full of breathtaking special effects and unforgettable songs. Perfect for all ages and packaged in a child friendly 90minute show, this spectacular multi-million rand musical based on Nickelodeon’s global number one rated television series, will transport old and young into the magical, colourful underwater world of Bikini Bottom from December 2009 until January 2010. The Sponge Who Could Fly − A New Musical! is a heartwarming story of courage and coming of age, which tells the tale of SpongeBob’s longing to fly with the jellyfish of Jellyfish Fields and his persistence in achieving his dream. Will SpongeBob take flight or will his dream come crashing down on the ocean floor?

It’s a tale too exciting to be kept under the sea. Ends 30 December. Venue: Big Top Arena, Carnival City. For more info: visit carnivalcity.co.za

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Meet Barney The big purple dinosaur entertains his fans with his usual loveable antics. There is a host of other exciting activities including face painting, craft workshops and photo opportunities with Santa. Ends 24 December. Venue: Fountain Court, Sandton City Shopping Centre.

Time: Monday–Saturday, 10am–6pm; Sunday and public holidays, 10am–4pm.

Cost: free admission. For more info: 011 217 6000 Garden of lights A magical sea of lights and visual spectaculars during this festive season where Santa and his friends can be found with surprises for everyone. Ends 3 January. Time: 7pm–10:30pm. Venue: Emperors Palace, D’oreale Grande Hotel.

Cost: free admission. For more info: visit emperorspalace.com Disney’s Mulan Jr The story of an adventurous Chinese girl, disguised as a

male soldier, who joins the imperial army in the place of her sickly father. A story of bravery, love and honour. Also 5 and 10–12 December. Time: varies. Venue: Joburg Promusica Theatre, Christiaan de Wet Rd, Florida Park. Cost: R75. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com ABBAsolutely fABBAulous Grab your platforms and sequins and let this fun, fast-paced and hugely interactive tribute stage show take you back to a time when glitz and ABBA ruled. Ends 6 December.

Time: Friday and Saturday, 8pm; Sunday, 3pm. Venue: Mardi Gras Theatre, Carnival City Casino. Cost: R210. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com ASto Boy premières at Nu Metro theatres nationwide. In Metro City, a gleaming metropolis in the sky, the brilliant scientist, Dr Tenma (voice of Nicolas Cage), creates ASto Boy to replace the son he lost, programming him with positive human characteristics and values, and extraordinary super powers. Bookings at numetro.co.za

5 saturday Jozi Food Market Christmas market In addition to the usual array of tasty delicacies and fun activities, you’ll find reindeer rides and Christmas treats. A morning of fabulous food and fun. Time: 8:30am–1:30pm. Venue: Parktown Corner, 7th Ave and 3rd Ave, Parktown North.

Cost: free admission. For more info: visit jozifoodmarket.co.za 4 December – Disney’s Mulan Jr

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tck tck tck… time for climate justice Event: UN Climate Change Conference Date: 7–18 December 2009 City: Copenhagen Country: Denmark Attendees: World leaders Type of event: Conference of world leaders to decide on a replacement of the Kyoto protocol, defining agreement that will determine the future of the world we live in.

How can you be part of it: tck tck tck… time for climate justice. Pledge your support on tcktcktck.org or upload your ‘tck’ on timeforclimatejustice.org and show your support for the future of our planet.

Garden party with Mulbry Join Mulbry, the gardening bear, for a morning of gardening fun. Children make their own pizzas and learn how to decorate a Christmas tree while you get some Christmas shopping done. Time: 9:30am– noon. Venue: Colourful Corner Nursery, Honeydew. Cost: R50. Booking essential by 2 December. Contact Vicki: 011 794 5733 or email ccn@colourfulgroup.co.za Wildlights See the zoo come alive at night with a spectacle of extraordinary lights.

Also 6, 12, 13 and 16 December. Time: 5pm–10pm. Venue: Johannesburg Zoo, Forest Town. Cost: adults R41, children R23. For more info: visit jhbzoo.org.za Scorpions by night Did you know that there are about 2 000 species of

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scorpions? A well known scorpion expert teaches you lots more about this fascinating species before leading you on a nocturnal walk to look for these little critters. Time: 6pm. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, Galena Ave, Helderkruin. Cost: adults R50, children R20. Contact Karin: 011 674 2980 Christmas with Richard Cock The Symphony Choir of Johannesburg and the full Johannesburg Festival Orchestra, conducted by Richard Cock, leads an evening of Christmas carols. Ends 6 December. Time: 7:30pm. Also Sunday, 3:30pm. Venue: Linder Auditorium, St Andrews St, Parktown. Cost: R95. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Moonlight market Skip the hustle and bustle of the malls and do your Christmas shopping by moonlight at a variety of art and food stalls. Children can be handson in the craft corner doing pottery, beading or sand art. Time: 3pm–9pm. Venue: Unity College, 126 Cedar Rd, Fourways.

Cost: free admission. Contact Angie: 011 475 2124, 082 441 4779 or email shamwari2@yebo.co.za

6 sunday Market in the park This popular monthly market is filled with crafts, jewellery, games, tasty treats and more. Time: 9am–2pm.

Venue: River Café grounds, Field and Study Centre, Louise Ave, Parkmore. Contact Lorraine: 011 465 1281, 083 655 8012 or email info@employability.org.za Friends of the Rail Take a step back into yesteryear with a trip on a vintage steam train to the old mining town of Cullinan.

Visit an old mine, curio shops or enjoy a lunch in the village before returning. Time: 8:30am. Venue: Friends of the Rail depot, Miechaelson St, Hermanstad, Pretoria. Cost: adults R150, pensioners R100, children 7–12 R90, children 2–6 R55. For more info: 012 548 4090 or visit friendsoftherail.com BSG Energade Kids triathlon series This popular triathlon series provides a platform for budding triathletes to swim, cycle and run their way to victory. Every

child gets a medal, goodie bag and T-shirt.

Time: 8am. Venue: North West University, Vaal Triangle Campus, Van Eck Boulevard, Vanderbijlpark. Cost: individual R70, team R120. For more info: 011 707 2800 or visit kidsseries.co.za Miniature steam train family day The little ones will love riding on replica miniature steam and diesel trains. Set in a big park with braai facilities, the train track journeys over bridges and through tunnels.

Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Louis Botha and Golf Club Terrace, Florida Park. Cost: free entry. Contact Jenny: 082 703 6437 Child welfare family fun day Johannesburg Child Welfare is 100 years old. Join the birthday celebrations and

6 December – Friends of the Rail

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5 December – Little Cooks Club

enjoy all the entertainment on offer like a Mediterranean market and some extreme activities. Top South African musicians entertain when the sun sets. Time: 10am. Venue: Melrose Arch Piazza, Melrose Arch Shopping Centre.

Cost: free entry. Concert entry R60.

Contact Tracey: 011 298 8575 or email pr@jhbchildwelfare.org.za

7 monday Valley of the Waves wild summer Whether it’s lazing on the beach, enjoying the adrenaline rush from the water rides or participating in the daily games, there’s sure to be fun in the sun for everyone.

Ends 3 January. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Sun City, Valley of the Waves. Cost: R200 includes all entry fees and a meal voucher.

Contact Valria: 072 626 4042 or email events2@telkomsa.net

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Faraway Tree Christmas craft club A fun day for children 2–8 years to make their own Christmas gifts. Daily activities vary from making stepping stones to crafting soap on a rope. Ends 11 December.

Time: 8am–noon. Venue: 7 Condor Rd, Douglasdale. Cost: R120. Booking essential.

Contact Melanie: 083 234 4120 International Tennis Academy holiday clinic Mini-, half-day and fullday clinics for the Federers and Williams of the future. Suitable for children 3–16 years. Ends 11 December. Time: varies.

Venue: Craighall, Pirates, St Johns and Lonehill. Cost: R280–R1 500. Contact: 083 443 3391, email info@itatennis.co.za or visit itatennis.co.za Shepherd’s Fold Stables daily holiday programme Regardless of whether you can ride a horse or not, experienced teachers supervise a day of horse play.

Activities include riding lessons, outrides, hands-on care for horses, lectures and games. All meals and juice included. Ends 11 December. Also 14–18 December.

Booking essential. Time: full-day, 8am– 5pm; half-day, 8am–1pm (suitable for children 3–5 years). Venue: Shepherd’s Fold Stables, 55 Sunset Dr, Elandsdrift, Muldersdrift. Cost: half-day, R140; full-day, R220. Booking is essential.

Contact Belinda: 084 220 2657 or email belinda.milsom@gmail.com

StarFire Soccer holiday programme develops children through the fun of soccer. Ends 11 December. Time: 9am– 11am. Venue: George Lea Park, Holt St, Parkmore and Robert Hilson Park, George Ave, Fairmount. Cost: full week, R400; per

7 December – Seedpod Studio Christmas craft workshops Half-day workshops offering craft activities to keep little hands busy.

Create wonderful gifts with mosaic, decoupage and beadwork. Ends 11 December. Time: 9am–noon. Venue: inside Broadacres Garden Centre, Cedar and Valley Rd, Broadacres.

Cost: half-day R160, full week R640.

Includes all materials. For more info: 011 465 0375

day, R100. Booking essential. For more info: 072 501 5444, email info@runninrebels.co.za or visit runninrebels.co.za Arabella’s holiday workshops A fun, arty four-day workshop encouraging children to be creative within a bright and spacious studio environment. Ends 10 December. Time: 10am–noon and 3pm–5pm. Venue: Arabella’s Art Studio, Parktown North. Cost: R500, including all materials and refreshments. Booking essential. Contact Arabella: 082 822 1161 Cart Wheel’s Christmas bazaar at Bamboo Original, quirky and exciting objects of art, toys and clothing. Ends 17 December. Time: Monday–Friday, 10am–5pm; Saturday, 9am–4pm; Sunday, 10am–2pm. Venue: Upstairs at Bamboo, Melville. Cost: free admission. For more info: 083 284 6226 or visit bamboo-online.co.za Creative Hothouse holiday programme A unique five-day creative journey including art, dance, drama, music, games, swimming and more. The children also record a CD. Ends 11 December. Also 14–18 December.

Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Craighall Park.

Cost: R1 710 includes materials, lunch, snacks and CD. Contact Sue: 083 230 0319

8 tuesday Montecasino Bird Gardens holiday programme Young animal lovers can enjoy a morning of exciting activities including

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the bird show, fun, games, crafts and lunch.

Ends 18 December. Time: 8:30am–2:30pm excluding weekends and holidays. Venue: Montecasino Bird Gardens, cnr William Nicol and Witkoppen Dr, Fourways, Sandton. Cost: R120. For more info: 011 511 1864, email mbirds@mweb.co.za or visit montecasino.co.za

How to make pasta for teens Teenagers can learn how to make their own pasta and pasta dishes. Interactive, tasty fun in the kitchen. Time: 9:30am–1pm. Venue: uShef Cooking School, 164 Church St, Olivedale. Cost: R225. For more info: 011 462 8964, email ushef@telkomsa.net or visit ushef.co.za

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10 thursday

Nannies and toddlers stimulation classes are conducted by qualified teachers and help to make the transition to nursery school an easy one. Time: 9am–noon. Venue: Fourways, Kyalami, Bryanston and Krugersdorp. Cost: R130.

Contact Jenny: 083 659 1766 or visit nanniesandtoddlers.co.za

Brer Rabbit The Brer Rabbit stories, which originate as folktales from Africa, have found popularity throughout the world for centuries. They are the archetypal trickster stories with the protagonist Brer Rabbit almost always outwitting his enemies.

During slavery, these stories were used by slaves (particularly in the American South) as a way of raising people’s spirits and outwitting the oppressor. They remain as powerful today as allegories of mischief, courage and survival. Ends 20 December.

Time: 11am, 3pm and 6pm. Venue: Laager Theatre at Market Theatre. Cost: R90.

Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com or for more info visit goldreefcity.co.za

9 December – Nannies and toddler stimulation classes

11 friday Motown Xmas Magic The songs of Motown greats will have you singing and dancing along to the rhythms of soul, gospel and jazz with a mix of festive

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10 December – Organic market Lovers of all things homemade, handpicked, natural, nutritious, delicious

and

good

for

the

environment can indulge in the luxurious treats on offer. Time: 8:30am–2pm. Venue: Woolworths Court, Killarney Mall, Riviera Rd, Killarney. Cost: free admission.

Contact Mahlatse: 011 646 4657

cheer. Ends 3 January. Time: 8:30pm. Also Sunday, 3pm. Venue: The Lyric Theatre at Gold Reef City. Cost: R105–R165. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Kiddies’ Christmas baking Children bake an assortment of sweet Christmas treats for mom and dad to share with you.

Also 18 December. Time: 9:30am–1pm.

Venue: uShef Cooking School, 164 Church St, Olivedale. Cost: R225. For more info: 011 462 8964 or email ushef@telkomsa.net or visit ushef.co.za Dream Catch Mongolian circus show A circus show on a grand scale with artists from around the world. A whip act from Mongolia, a skipping troop from Kenya, clowns, flying men and strong men make this a show to remember. Ends 24 December. Time: 3pm and 7pm. Venue:

Lakeside Mall, Tom Jones Rd, Benoni. Cost: adults R70, children R60. Book through Ticketline: 076 123 4979 Puppet theatre In addition to the usual variety of arts and crafts, your children can enjoy a half hour of creative theatre time with a professional puppet theatre company. Time: 2pm– 2:30pm. Venue: Valley Shopping Centre, Jan Smuts Ave, Craighall. Cost: R120 per hour. Contact Sandra: 011 501 0234 or visit smudgeart.co.za

12 saturday Story time at Kasabow A morning for little ones to enjoy a nativity play and listen to stories. Time: 10am. Venue: Kasabow Books, Riverview Centre, Conrad Dr, Craighall Park. Cost: free entry. Contact Moira: 011 326 0782

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International V8 Superstar Series is coming to South Africa for the first time.

Big boys, little boys and maybe even the girls will enjoy this V8 action-packed spectacular. Ends 13 December. Time: 9:30am. Venue: Kyalami Grand Prix Circuit, 1 Allendale Rd, Kyalami. Cost R80–R180.

For more info: visit go-gp.org or book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Zasekhaya Market encourages creative and contemporary design work, unlike crafts seen at traditional craft markets.The organisation focuses on training people to market and sell their handmade products.

It’s a great place to buy unusual gifts for something unique for Christmas. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: The Bus Factory, cnr Henry Nxumalo and President St, Newtown.

Cost: free admission. Contact Given: 072 721 1953 or visit zasekhaya.co.za Christmas Carols on the Square The annual carol spectacular with a host of top South African performers makes its anticipated return. Don’t forget to bring presents for those less privileged so they too can share in the grace of this special season. Enjoy dinner at one of the many restaurants on the square. Time: 6pm. Venue: Nelson Mandela Square, Sandton City Shopping Centre. Cost: free entry. For more info: 011 217 6000 or visit nelsonmandelasquare.co.za

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13 sunday Castle Gorge Hike Get the family outdoors and into nature; enjoy a day of fun and adventure. The hike takes you past crystal clear rock pools, wind carved stone statues and more. Time: 7:45am.

Venue: meet outside Gateview House, Constantia Office Park. Cost: adults R35, children under 18 free. Contact Marion: 087 940 1903, email jhc@mweb.co.za or visit jhbhiking.org.za

Family fly-fishing and wellness package Escape to the Magaliesberg for a family adventure. The boys can fly-fish while the girls enjoy a 30-minute pamper session. Time: subject to booking. Venue: Magalies Barbus Haven, Magaliesberg area. Cost: adults R250, children R100 (fishing) and R300 for wellness treatment. Contact: 011 315 4503, email sundown@iafrica.com or visit sundowner.co.za French market Indulge in all things French, from baguettes and cheese to flowers and linen. Enjoy the sounds of the resident Marche accordionist while you shop and relax at this unusual market.

Time: 9am–2pm every Sunday. Venue: Morningside Shopping Centre, Rivonia Rd, Morningside. Cost: free admission. For more info: visit morningsideshops.co.za Sonrise holiday camps Fun camps over four, seven or 10 days, filled with adventures like paintball, horse riding, volleyball, off road bicycle tracks and go-karting. Venue: Sonrise Holiday Camp, North Riding. Cost: four days R490, seven days R690, 10 days R1 090. Booking essential. Contact: 083 410 3959, email mwablaze@mweb.co.za or visit africaablaze.org

14 monday 12 December – Christmas Carols on the Square

Johannesburg Zoo holiday programme Fun educational programmes with day and night activities. Ends 18 December. Time:

8:30am–5:30pm. Venue: Upper Park Dr, Forest Town. Cost: adults R41, children R23.

Contact Ioanna, Lebo, Octavia or Sophia: 011 646 2000 or visit jhbzoo.org.za ITA Tennis clinic Mini-, half-day and fullday clinics for the Federers and Williams of the future. Suitable for children 3–16 years.

Ends 18 December. Time: varies. Venue: Craighall, Pirates, St Johns and Lonehill.

Cost: From R280–R1 500. Contact Michele: 083 443 3391, email info@itatennis.co.za or visit itatennis.co.za Little Cooks Club festive holiday programme Make some special and healthy festive treats. Ends 19 December.

Venue: Befordview and Edenvale. Cost: R80. Booking essential. Contact Lauren for time and venue details: 082 445 8431 or email laurenw@littlecooksclub.co.za Lipizzaners by candlelight White Lipizzaners perform the Ballet of the White Stallion accompanied by the Welsh Male Choir. An evening of Christmas Carols to ring in the festive season. The stables are open after the performance to feed the stars of the show. Ends: 23 December.

Time: 6pm. Venue: Lipizzaner Centre, 1 Dahlia Rd, Kyalami. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Junior nature conservator An exciting opportunity for grade 7–11 students to work with the zoo conservators and get to

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14 December – Santa’s Music Box is a musical adventure for all ages. With Christmas around the corner it’s time for the North pole elves to spring into action and start making toys. Elves need to be happy at work and they are at their happiest when singing along together in harmony. Ends 17 December.

Time: varies. Venue: Barnyard Theatre, Cresta Shopping Centre, cnr Beyers Naudé Dr and Weltevreden Rd, Cresta. Cost: from R45. For more info: visit barnyardtheatre.co.za

know the zoo and the animals. At the end of this four-day course they’ll be able to join the Zoo Club and work as volunteers at the zoo. All participants receive a T-shirt and a certificate. Ends 18 December. Time: 8am–4:30pm. Venue: National Zoological Gardens of South Africa, Pretoria. Cost: R150. Booking essential. For more info: 012 328 3265 or 012 328 6020 or visit nzg.ac.za Children’s wellness course The difficult issue of bullying is addressed in a warm and comforting environment. Any child who has encountered peer pressure will benefit from the coping and stress management techniques presented in this workshop. Ends 17 December (excludes 16 December).

Also from 15 January. Time: 10am–11am.

Venue: 6th St, Highlands North. Cost: R480. Booking essential. Contact Christa: 079 527 1008 or visit stressfreekids.co.za Meet the birds A course for young birding enthusiasts to learn all about these feathered creatures. It’s a day filled with fun activities like painting camouflaged eggs and even making a bird feeder to attract birds to your garden at home. Time: 8am–4:30pm.

Venue: National Zoological Gardens of South Africa, Pretoria. Cost: R50. Booking essential. For more info: 012 328 3265, 012 328 6020 or visit nzg.ac.za Arabella’s holiday workshops A fun, arty four-day workshop encouraging children to be creative within a bright and spacious studio environment. Excludes 16 December; ends 18 December. Time: 10am–noon. Venue: Arabella’s Art Studio,

16 December – Jazz at the Zoo

Parktown North. Cost: R500. Includes all materials and refreshments. Booking essential. Contact Arabella: 082 822 1161

15 tuesday Chanukah crafts for children Get creative making menorahs or watch a demonstration by Rabbi Katz on the making of olive oil, which is very significant for Chanukah (the Jewish festival of lights).

Time: 1pm–3pm. Venue: CNA Balcony Court, Killarney Mall. Cost: free entry.

For more info: 011 646 4657 or visit killarneymall.co.za Footloose Trout Farm holiday programme Time: 7:30am–5:30pm.

Venue: Footloose Trout Farm, Fourways.

Cost: R120 includes rod hire, bait and lunch. Contact Kim: 083 462 2779 or visit footloosetroutfarm.co.za

16 wednesday Jazz at the Zoo Pack your picnic baskets and blankets and unwind to the relaxing sounds of live jazz. Time: 10am–3pm.

Venue: Johannesburg Zoo, Upper Park Dr, Forest Town. Cost: adults R41, pensioners and children R23. For more info: visit jhbzoo.org.za Art in the gardens Take a wander through the gardens, which form the backdrop gallery for an exhibition of artworks. Enjoy lunch in the Eagle’s Fare restaurant and with any luck you’ll catch a glimpse of the nesting Black Eagles above the Witpoortjie Waterfall. Time: 8am–5pm. Venue: Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden, Malcolm Rd, Poortview. Cost: adults R23, children R7. For more info: 086 100 1278 or email botsoc@sisulugarden.co.za Bunny Park Christmas craft market A family shopping outing with over 100 stalls of handcrafted goods from soap to candles and metalwork. Activities for children include pony and camel rides, farmyard activities, a carousel and swings, and mini-bikes. Browse at your leisure and indulge at one of the many food stalls.

Picnic and braai facilities available. Time: 9am–2:30pm. Venue: Pretoria Rd, Rynfield, Benoni. Cost: free entry. Contact Janine: 072 713 3332 Castle Test Series cricket Watch from the embankment as the Proteas take on England in this five-day Test match. A fun day of cricket for budding Graeme Smiths.

Ends 20 December. Time: 10:30am. Venue: SuperSport Park, Centurion. Cost: adults R50, children R40. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

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Day of Reconciliation jazz lunch Get into the holiday mood… The Magaliesberg mountain range forms the backdrop for a relaxing lunch as you’re serenaded by the sounds of jazz group The Chromatics. Time: noon–3pm. Venue: Maropeng Hotel, Cradle of Humankind, Magaliesberg. Cost: adults R150, children R135. Booking essential. For more info: visit maropeng.co.za

17 thursday The World of Reptiles Children in grade 4–7 can spend a day finding out fascinating facts about snakes and other reptiles as well as getting to watch a snake demonstration. Time: 8am–4:30pm.

Venue: National Zoological Gardens of South Africa, Pretoria. Cost: R50. Booking essential. For more info: 012 328 3265, 012 328 6020 or visit nzg.ac.za Teen Christmas baking A variety of great desserts to add to the Christmas menu.

Time: 9:30am–1pm. Venue: uShef Cooking School, 164 Church St, Olivedale. Cost: R225. For more info: 011 462 8964 or email ushef@telkomsa.net or visit ushef.co.za Summer at the Palace The coolest and hottest local bands from Watershed, Sipho Hotstix, Jesse Clegg and Prime Circle to Flash Republic, Dr Victor and the Rasta Rebels. Time: 7pm–10:30pm. Venue: Emperors Palace Casino. Cost: R50. For more info: 011 928 1297

18 friday Santa’s Music Box is a musical adventure for all ages. With Christmas around the corner it’s time for the North pole elves to spring into action and start making toys. Elves need to be happy at work and they are at their happiest when singing along together in harmony. Ends 19 December. Time: 11am and 3pm. Venue: Barnyard Theatre, Menlyn Shopping Centre, Atterbury Rd, Menlyn Park.

Cost: from R45. For more info: visit barnyardtheatre.co.za Carols by torchlight Father Christmas will join you as you sing traditional Christmas songs. Booking essential. Time: 6pm. Venue: Kasabow Books, Riverview Centre, Conrad Dr, Craighall Park. Cost: free entry. Contact Moira: 011 326 0782

21 December – Meet the mammals

cries. Ends 23 December. Venue: Camp Nelu, Magaliesberg. Cost: tbc. Contact: 083 457 7848

20 sunday Moyo Zoo Lake Children can come and play, create, learn African dances, traditional African games, listen to stories and make things while you enjoy yourselve at the restaurant. Time: Saturday and Sunday, 10:30am–3:30pm. Venue: Zoo Lake, 1 Prince of Wales Dr, Parkview.

Cost: free workshops. For more info: 011 646 0058

21 monday Meet the mammals This one-day course is designed to teach learners in grades 1–3 about the various types of mammals in the zoo. They’ll explore their feeding habits and the features that make mammals unique. Also 6 January. Time: 8am–4:30pm.

Venue: National Zoological Gardens of South Africa, Pretoria. Cost: R50. Booking essential. For more info: 012 328 3265, 012 328 6020 or visit nzg.ac.za

22 tuesday

Bokkie Park Christmas craft market A family shopping outing with over 100 stalls of handcrafted goods from soap to candles and metalwork. Activities for children include pony and camel rides, farmyard activities, a carousel and swings, and mini-bikes. Browse at your leisure and indulge at one of the many food stalls. Picnic and braai facilities available.

Time: 9am–2:30pm. Venue: Southvale Rd, Boksburg. Cost: free entry. Contact Janine: 072 713 3332 Kidscape adventure camp Children are exposed to character- and team-building activities as they learn valuable life skills

Time, energy, money workshop Clinical psychologist Dr Colinda Linde, author of Get the Balance Right − Coping Tips for Working Moms, who is also married and mother of six-year-old twins, offers a two-hour workshop on how to use your precious resources of time, energy and money wisely. Workshops run until end January. Time: subject to booking. Venue: Morningside Clinic, Rivonia Rd, Morningside. Cost: R200. Contact: 011 783 0241 or email colinda.linde@wbs.co.za Santa’s Music Box is a musical adventure for all ages. With Christmas around the corner it’s time for the North pole elves to spring into action and start making toys.

Elves need to be happy at work and they are at their happiest when singing along together in harmony. Ends 24 December.

Time: varies. Venue: Barnyard Theatre,

and how to handle group dynamics. Some of the activities are paintball, archery, abseiling, king swing, an obstacle course and good old camp fire songs and war

Broadacres. Broadacres Shopping Centre, cnr Cedar Ave and Valley Rd, Broadacres, Fourways. Cost: from R45. For more info: visit barnyardtheatre.co.za

19 saturday

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23 wednesday

23 December – Introduction to bird identification

Introduction to bird identification This course provides an opportunity for bird enthusiasts in grades 4–7 to learn the basics of bird watching through practical activities and multimedia programmes. Learn more about the habitat, adaptations and the role of birds in the environment. Time: 8am–4:30pm. Venue: National Zoological Gardens of South Africa, Pretoria. Cost: R50. Booking essential. For more info: 012 328 3265, 012 328 6020 or visit nzg.ac.za

27 sunday Barry Hilton’s Grey Matters Filled with sidesplitting impressions and observations on a host of social, political and family issues, this show will be a real treat for all Barry Hilton fans. Hilton promises to share his outlook on life from the other side of 50. Definitely a must for all teenagers who need to understand their parents. Ends 3 January. Time: 8pm. Venue: Mardi Gras Theatre, Carnival City. Cost: R100. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

24 thursday Funtastic! A fun family show featuring world class dancers, daring acrobatic and aerial artists and singers performing hit songs that will appeal to all ages. Ends 7 March. Time: varies. Venue: Silverstar Casino, Krugersdorp. Cost: R50. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

25 friday Christmas at The Westcliff La Belle Terrasse Restaurant turns into a winter wonderland. Treat the family to a relaxing brunch, lunch or dinner with some of the best views in Joburg. Time: 11am onwards. Venue: The Westcliff, 67 Jan Smuts Ave, Westcliff. Cost: adults R450, children R225. Booking essential. For more info: 011 481 6000

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Disney Channel Hannah Montana marathon. Time: 8:50am–10am

28 monday Christmas in the Cradle The Maropeng Hotel and Tumulus Restaurant are open for lunch bookings. Choose from a set menu or a less formal yet traditional Christmas buffet.

Time: from noon. Venue: Maropeng Hotel, Cradle of Humankind, Magaliesberg. Cost: adults from R275–R295, children R135– R200. Booking essential. For more info: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za Christmas day cruise For Christmas with a difference, enjoy a three-hour cruise on the Vaal as well as a traditional Christmas buffet and live entertainment. Time: noon– 3pm. Venue: departs from Emerald Casino, Vanderbijlpark. Cost: adults R320, children

R160. Booking essential. For more info: 016 982 3411, email info@liquidlounge.co.za or visit liquidlounge.co.za

26 saturday

The Listeners’ Library With over 450 CDs in their children’s catalogue, you’re sure to find something to tickle your fancy.

Collections range from the classics such 29 December – Frog Terrace

Bombshells Six stories about the stresses and joys of modern life. This one-woman play has something for everyone − men, women, young and old. It moves from light comedy to issues of deep love. Ends 10 January. Time: 4:15pm and 7pm.

Venue: Studio Theatre, Montecasino.

Cost: R125. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com or montecasinotheatre.co.za

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as Peter Pan or Treasure Island to modern fiction such as the works of C.S. Lewis or Jacqueline Wilson. Time: 8am–5pm.

Venue: cnr Jan Smuts and North Rd, Hyde Park. Cost: free admission. For more info: 011 325 2266 or visit listenerslibrary.com

31 December – Under African Skies New Year’s Party

January

29 tuesday

3 sunday

Frog Terrace Frogs and princesses can take a break from hectic Christmas shopping and hop over for a frog’s breakfast or lunch. The tadpoles will have a ball in the play area. Time: 8am– 5pm. Venue: Leaping Frog Shopping Centre, cnr William Nicol and Mulbarton Rd, Fourways, Joburg. Contact Gavin: 011 465 7090

30 wednesday Izizwe, an African Showcase Spectacular African show featuring traditional dance, a marimba band performance, gumboot dance display, poetry, African storytelling and ending off with an interactive drumming session for all guests to enjoy.

Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Motseng Cultural Village, Sun City. Cost: R105. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com or

31 thursday Under African Skies New Year party Ring in the new year with music and fireworks. Time: 8pm. Venue: Valley of

children R10. Meals and drinks at your own cost. Booking is essential. For more info: 016 982 2951/2, email info@stonehaven.co.za or visit stonehaven.co.za

the Waves, Sun City. Cost: adults R180, children R90. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com New Year’s Eve at The Westcliff A night for mom and dad to spoil themselves. La Belle Terrasse Restaurant is serving up a grand buffet in Great Gatsby fashion. Dress up in top hats and tails and dance into the new year in style. Time: 8pm. Venue: The Westcliff, Jan Smuts Ave, Westcliff. Cost: R750. Booking essential. For more info: 011 481 6000 Stonehaven on Vaal A night of non-stop music and celebration with entertainment for young and old. Time: 8pm. Venue: Stonehaven on Vaal, Vaal River, Vanderbijlpark. Cost: adults R40,

Sugar Bay Holiday Resort Nestled between the sugar cane farms of the KwaZulu-Natal North Coast, Sugar Bay is located on a 16-acre private resort, designed exclusively for children and teens between the ages of 7 and 17 and is based on the successful American Summer Camp philosophy of children spending a holiday away from parents. Ends 10 January. Cost: from R3 875. For more info: 032 485 3778 or visit sugarbay.co.za

4 monday Junior nature conservator An exciting opportunity for grade 7–11 students to work with the zoo conservators and get to know the zoo and the animals. At the end of this five-day course they’ll be able to join the Zoo Club and work as a volunteer at the zoo. Ends 8 January. Time: 8am–4:30pm. Venue: National Zoological Gardens of South Africa, Pretoria. Cost: R150. Booking essential. For more info: 012 328 3265, 012 328 6020 or visit nzg.ac.za

Montecasino Bird Gardens holiday programme Young animal lovers can enjoy a morning of exciting activities including the bird show, games, crafts and lunch. Ends 8 January. Time: 8:30am– 2:30pm excluding weekends and holidays.

Venue: Montecasino Bird Gardens, Fourways. Cost: R120. For more info: 011 511 1864, email mbirds@mweb.co.za or visit montecasino.co.za Shepherd’s Fold Stables daily holiday programme Regardless of whether you can ride a horse or not, experienced teachers will supervise a day of horse play.

Activities include riding lessons, outrides, hands-on care for horses, lectures and games. All meals and juice included. Ends 8 January. Booking essential. Time: full-day, 8am–5pm; half-day, 8am–1pm (suitable for children 3–5 years). Venue: Shepherd’s Fold Stables, 55 Sunset Dr, Elandsdrift, Muldersdrift. Cost: half-day R140, fullday R220. Booking essential. Contact Belinda Milsom: 084 220 2657 or email belinda.milsom@gmail.com Seedpod Studio holiday craft workshops Half-day workshops offering craft activities to keep children’s little hands busy. Ends 8 January. Time: 9am– noon. Venue: inside Broadacres Garden Centre, Cedar and Valley Rd, Broadacres.

Cost: half-day R160, full week R640.

Includes all materials. For more info: 011 465 0375

family marketplace

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14 thursday Cricket Watch the Proteas take on England in this five-day Castle Test match. Ends 18 January. Time: 10am. Venue: Liberty Life Wanderers Stadium. Cost: R50. Book through Computicket: 083 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

15 friday Children’s stress course This four-week course for ages 6–14 deals with stress management and relaxation techniques designed to decrease stress and anxiety while increasing self-esteem and selfawareness. Time: 2pm–3pm. Venue: 6th

St, Highlands North. Cost: R480. Booking essential. Contact Christa: 079 527 1008, email christa@stressfreekids.co.za or visit stressfreekids.co.za

23 saturday Creepy crawlies A scorpion expert takes you on a walk through the reserve, pointing out some scary creatures such as spiders and scorpions, and providing some interesting information and facts about them. Time: 9am. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, Galena Ave, Helderkruin.

Cost: adults R40, children R20. Booking essential. Contact Karin: 011 674 2980

29 friday Princess

and

the

Frog

premières

at cinemas nationwide and marks a return to classic Disney animated feature films with hand drawn animation, hand painted backgrounds and classic Disney fairytale storytelling. Inspired by the Grimm brothers’ The Frog Prince, the story is a different take on the typical princess. Princess Tiana doesn’t dream of faraway kingdoms or castles but of personal success and running her own business. Featuring the voice of Oprah and other key talents. For more info: visit numetro.co.za

30 saturday Spider course A renowned spider expert is talking about spiders native to the southern

Stand a chance to get your purchase free with Khoki

part of Africa. See spiders and hear some

Khoki has an outstanding offer for families for that manic back to school time. You have the chance to get your purchase refunded from the Khoki store, Shop U4, Morningside Shopping Centre. Simply fill in an entry form, attach your till slip and place it in the promotional boxes in store – there will be a weekly draw and winners will receive a 100% refund on their purchase. This offer is valid from 26 December 2009– 31 January 2010.

them. This course is for learners older than

interesting information and facts about 15. Time: 9am–noon. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, Galena Ave, Helderkruin.

Cost: R150. Booking essential. Contact Karin: 011 674 2980 Learn more about dyslexia and ADHD Find out more about a non-invasive, drugfree method of treating a broad range of learning difficulties and differences. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Dore Achievement Centre, Building 5, Tuscany Office Park, Rivonia. Cost: free. Contact: 086 100 3676 or email enquiries@dore.co.za

it’s party time

29 January – Princess and the Frog

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Going to Durban or Cape Town this holiday? Here are some things to do…

Durban

Cape Town a proper restaurant for the duration of the show. There is a supervised children’s play area. Time: 9am−6pm. Venue: Pearls, Umhlanga. Cost: R60. For more info: visit designersondisplay.co.za

16 december

4 December – Just Jinjer

4 december Just Jinjer After a decade recording and touring overseas, Just Jinjer returns home for a once off performance in Durban. Time: 7pm. Venue: Northwood Crusaders Sports Club, Durban North. Cost: R120. Book through Computicket or R150 at the gate.

For more info: visit computicket.com

10 december Designers on Display See top designers transform six empty apartments at the new Pearls of Umhlanga. Landscapers showcase rooftop gardens and chefs from Beanbag Bohemia serve innovative food from the Penthouse, which is transformed into

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Dolphins by Starlight: Santa’s Southern Celebration Mr and Mrs Santa are joined by a host of fairies, angels, stars and sea creatures as they celebrate the magic of Christmas. Featuring the human Christmas tree, consisting of a 36-piece choir and ensemble under the baton of Jeff Judge and his 20-strong orchestra. Ends 19 December. Time: 7pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World.

Cost: adults R95, children R75. Book through Computicket: visit computocket.com or for more info: 031 328 8000

28 december The uShaka Summer Nights Festival features a sunken stage set in Wet ‘n Wild offering patrons the opportunity to experience performances by popular bands in the magical water wonderland. Ends 30 December. Time: 7pm−11pm. Venue: uShaka Marine World. Cost: tbc. For more info: 031 328 8000

1 december The 5th Annual World AIDS Day Gala Concert This pop and classical concert features guest vocalists including Jimmie Earl Perry, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Sharon Kips, Sterling EQ, Wilmot Fredericks, Rouchelle Liedemann and the Cape Philharmonic Orchestra. Dress code is formal with a touch of red. Don’t miss out on a great opportunity to enjoy African culture and contribute on this special day. Time: 7:30pm–9pm. Venue: Artscape Theatre. Cost: 100. For more info: 021 410 9800

5 december Obz Festival The largest street festival of its kind in Southern Africa, the annual Obz festival kicks off in December, bringing a celebratory mood to the cultural heart of the Mother City. See the city’s top musicians in action, the best of Obz nightlife and a documentary film festival. There is playgrounds for children, an extensive craft market, as well as the Lazy Sunday concert aimed at jazz lovers. Ends 6 December. Time: varies. Venue: varies. Cost: varies. For more info: visit obzfestival.com

12 december Summer Elegance at the House of Krone Vintage treasures, beautiful dresses and summer elegance. This is summer socialising at its finest in a relaxed yet elegant environment with the best of delicatessen offerings. The younger visitors can enjoy games, a tractor and trailer ride through the winelands, a bounce around on the jumping castle or simply enjoy the fresh country air. Time: tbc. Venue: Tulbagh. Cost: R100 per adult, which includes a bubbly flute, bubbly tastings and cellar tours. R50 per child. Under 18s must be accompanied by an adult.

Contact Luke: 023 230 0680

1 january Kaapse Klopse, the Cape Town Minstrel Carnival The streets of Cape Town’s CBD come alive to celebrate the New Year in carnival style. Thousands of musicians, singers and dancers gear themselves for this Cape Town tradition.

Transformed into costumed, banjo playing musicians and dancers with faces painted white, they parade through the streets to Athlone Stadium. For more info: visit capeminstrels.co.za

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it’s party time continued...

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last laugh

show time, folks!

SAM WILSON reckons it’s a good idea to examine your children’s school – not by perusing its exam results, but by going to the school play.

i

don’t know about you, but I’d much rather my children grow up to be wellrounded, happy and responsible than be able to ace the odd exam. Look around you – who are the grown-ups that you respect most? The single-minded careeronly folk, or those who are managing to get a lot of energy and passion into their jobs and their families, simply by being comfortable in themselves?

Bit of a no-brainer, isn’t it?

The problem with this view is that it makes it very hard to evaluate schools. It’s easy to count up distinctions, but not so easy to find out if a school is a nice place.

Unless, of course, you go to one of its concerts. Because, readers, that’s where the soul of a school hangs out.

Nifty idea, nê? I think so. I’ve even come up with a bit of a checklist for you…

First, consider the play itself. Are nineyear-olds doing a Junior? Not good. Are

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horrified teenage boys prancing around as the brothers Von Trapp? Ouch. Is a government school presenting Godspell?

Not necessarily the most tolerant of institutions.

I personally prefer a home-written romp derived from something more classical perhaps, which allows the children to let their hair down, and laugh at jokes they’ve made themselves. And sing. Singing’s important. Even if it’s bad.

Next up, count the actors on stage.

If there are only four or five presenting an Athol Fugard play, chances are the school is more interested in showcasing its “stars” rather than confidence boosting and giving the average child a chance to try something new. Are there a whole bunch of miserable, fidgeting three-yearolds in a corner, forced to stay on the stage for hours after their song while their older school mates present The Wind in

the Willows? Not very thoughtful teachers.

And so on.

Then there’s the costume issue. Has your child come home with a slip which says: “Kindly provide R450 to cover the cost of your daughter’s elephant costume?”

Or have you been told: “Your child is going to be a lion. Dress her in yellow, and we’ll be making manes in class.” I know which school I’d choose.

And then to quote The Big Lebowski, there’s “the vibe of the thing”. I’ve been to school concerts so slick, you can hear the children’s fear at getting anything wrong.

(Oh, that’s another tell… if your child looks in terror at her teacher when she fluffs her lines, be concerned.)

I’ve been to others so interminably long and seemingly plotless, that even older children doze off at the edges. I’ve seen anxious children in costumes fit for the West End, and I have seen children busting

with pride out of a hodge-podge of Mom’s old feather boas.

I’ve also seen happy explosions of applause when favourite teachers step on stage for a bow, a kind little elbow nudge to get a child’s finger out of his nose, the special glow when a child realises he’s relaxed and enjoying being on stage (“Hey Mom! I’m good at this!”) and heard the collective squeal of relief and excitement when the musty curtains finally close.

Perhaps I am biased, because I already love the school my sons attend, but each year when the school puts on a massively energetic and colourful concert of happy children bounding about in assorted costumes, I think to myself, “Yay! This school has its heart in the right place.”

Happy concert season, folks. And we’ll see you back at the grind next year.

Sam is the editor in chief of health24.com, parent24.com and women24.com

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PHOTOGRAPH: TAMMY GARDNER

Benj, Sam and Joe