Child Magazine | Joburg February 2012 by Hunter House Publishing

J O H A N N E S B U R G â&#x20AC;&#x2122; S b e s t gu i d e f o r p a r e n t s

home truths

what the experts wish they could tell you

back to

school zero tolerance stop the bullying

no more madness tips to beat the rush

rediscover your city

www.childmag.co.za

February 2012

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health

education

great public spaces to visit

entertainment

Welcome back to a wonderful new year. As I write this, my youngest, Robyn, is covering her books and labelling her stationery in preparation for her first day in Grade 4. Brand new boxes of pastels, paints and coloured pencils lie on the dining room table ready to be delivered to school tomorrow morning. The sight of all the bright and shiny school supplies brings with it the promise of a fresh start and new beginnings – a new curriculum, new friends and, a little scary, a new teacher. “Please don’t let it be Miss X,” she wails, “she’s so strict!” As a parent, the new year allows me a fresh start too. I’ve promised to be more patient, to let go a little and to trust that the foundation my husband and I have laid is strong enough to hold my girls steady as they make and mend friendships, and strive for fulfilment in the classroom and on the sports field. Our job is done for 2011 and a new one lies ahead this year. Here’s to a fabulous, promise-filled 2012. May it be all that you want it to be.

If you love the magazine, you’ll love our website. Visit us at childmag.co.za

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • joburg@childmag.co.za

monthly circulation Cape Town’s Child magazineTM 45 129 40 257 Durban’s Child magazineTM 52 845 Joburg’s Child magazineTM

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Joburg’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 5, First Floor, Bentley Office Park, cnr Rivonia and Wessel Rd, Rivonia. Tel: 011 807 6449, fax: 011 234 4971, email: joburg@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Joburg’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may arise from reading them.

February 2012

contents

february 2012

upfront 3

a note from lisa

6 over to you

readers respond

23 dad’s blog

Marc de Chazal remembers how comics got him reading 42 no holds barred

49 mom’s blog Anél Lewis shares her aeroplane faux pas with you

features

health

20 be a sport

14 maintain a natural balance

want to know the truth? Paul Kerton tells you what the experts really think

a healthy intake of probiotics could mean fewer visits to the doctor. By Lucille Kemp

J en Crocker emphasises that sport is about more than just winning

regulars 8 wins 12 best for baby – no substitutes

Anél Lewis explains why nothing beats breast milk 16 upfront with paul Paul Kerton feels strongly that parents need some down-time too

24 all the world’s a stage... doing drama can improve your child’s self-confidence. By Donna Cobban

18 dealing with difference

26 learn online

44 resource – my city

Michelle Jones explains the benefits of making educational material available online

28 bullying – level the playing field

our new guest columnist, Gary Koen, tackles this sensitive issue

Kim Maxwell says negotiation is key when it comes to parenting

34 easy lunchbox ideas

Ideas suggests some tasty treats to pack for school lunch

38 back to school basics

Simone Jeffery compiled this list of family-friendly, cost-effective public spaces to explore

50 a good read

new books for the whole family

54 what’s on in february

32 talk it through

Kate Douglas looks at bipolar disorder in children

Child magazine shows you how to have hassle-free school mornings

70 last laugh if your family wants to take care of you, let them, says Sam Wilson

classified ads 62 family marketplace 67 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

February 2012

Cape Town

Durban

Johannesburg

shutterstock.com

Durban Girls’ College www.dgc.co.za

shutterstock.com

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February 2012

letters

over to you a thank you is always appreciated

don’t contaminate our children with drugs Professionals suggested that a child psychologist should test my son for ADHD. The one we chose is apparently among one of the top psychologists in the country, but it was the most disappointing experience. Without making much contact with my child, she stuffed brochures about ADHD, supplied by a drug company, in my hands and said she didn’t need to see him again; if we wanted to try the drugs, I could just phone for a prescription. She has allowed herself to be influenced by drug company propaganda. I decided to do my own research. I read The Ritalin Fact Book (Da Capo Press) by Dr Peter Breggin. As a medical expert who assisted in cases involving Ritalin, he has access to huge amounts of private drug research and records. He found that the drugs disrupt the connections in the highest developmental regions of the brain (he likens it to a chemical lobotomy). So the children don’t become inactive, they become narrowly focused and compulsive. These drugs cause psychiatric

February 2012

disorders to convulsions. There is strong evidence for stimulant-induced brain shrinkage, cell death and persistent biochemical changes, as well as withdrawal symptoms and gross malfunctions with the first dose. Research on humans confirms brain damage from Ritalin – it has almost identical effects on the brain as cocaine. The main difference is the long-lasting effects of Ritalin. ADHD is not a biological disorder; it’s not genetically

transmitted. The diagnosis is a list

of types of behaviour that annoy teachers and adults. The official diagnostic manual of the American Psychiatric Association admits that ADHD is largely part of a phenomenon that arises when adults aren’t doing their jobs properly. We need classrooms that engage and inspire children. Stimulants don’t correct biochemical imbalances – they cause them. There are more natural ways to treat ADHD. Liz

I would like to thank you for putting my holiday workshop in Child magazine’s calendar. I had a great response. Publications like yours really are of great value for me as a single parent and working mom wanting to grow my own small business. I am not much of a magazine reader but I get very excited with each new issue. The articles and ideas are interesting, diverse and informative. Georgia On behalf of all the baby bottoms at Little Angels, and all of those in our network homes too, I hereby extend the fullest possible extent of my gratitude to Child magazine for what can only be described as a miraculous event. There is no imaginable way to explain what a monumental blessing this donation of over 10 000 Huggies nappies is to us. It’s no exaggeration to say that Phil and Pat, our house-parents, were completely shocked when the nappies were brought in and I’m at a complete loss for superlatives to convey our appreciation for such an enormous show of support. Your kindness and generosity are immense and we are humbled that you chose Little Angels as a beneficiary. J.P. van Rensburg

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I wanted to say a huge thank you to Fairytale Fantacies for my prize of a pirate party. The weather was fabulous and the children were in their element. One of them even came up to me and said, “Now that was a real party!” It made all the effort worth it. Thanks again for helping to make the party a day my girls, Angela and Nicola, will never forget. I will certainly recommend this company to other parents. It is now 363 days and counting until the next party. Jenny Smith Your magazine really educates and keeps us well informed. Now I can take care of my little angel because of you. Nkosinathi Nomkonwana

stubborn little angel I really enjoyed the letter “one peaceful night” (Child magazine, December 2011/January 2012). My angel was born in September 2010, and she weighed only 1,4kg and was hospitalised for the first 27 days of her life. Scarlet Rose still wakes during the night for her bottle. I have tried every trick in the book to get her to sleep, but it has just not worked, so I have to comfort her and give her the bottle while she is half asleep. My routine is set around hers and both of us are happy and healthy and that is all that matters. Ruzaan

correct information This letter is in reply to your health column “managing malaria” (Child magazine, November 2011). I work at a medicines information centre. One of the areas we specialise in is travel health and malaria prevention. Malanil Paediatric is not a new drug – it was introduced into South

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Africa in 2009. It is also not called Malarone in this country. According to manufacturer data and all other reputable sources, mefloquine should be continued for only four weeks after leaving a high-risk area (use for longer than four weeks is unnecessary and may lead to side effects). Leilani Johnston

author states that according to an expert, elimination communication “is not recommended”. Having tried it since my child was one day old, I can honestly say that a child has an inbuilt awareness of his own toilet needs. If we don’t train it out of them (very unnaturally) with nappies, it’s perfectly straightforward and unproblematic. Lisa Greenstein

in disagreement As a parent who has carefully researched some alternative parenting methods, I find myself exasperated by scaremongering warnings that don’t properly present the facts. In “while you were sleeping” (Child magazine, December 2011/January 2012), the writer asserts that “co-sleeping has been proven to increase the risk of Sids”. This is misleading. There is a massive difference between the attentive parent’s choice to co-sleep responsibly and the negligent choice to co-sleep when fatigued, intoxicated or after smoking. Safe co-sleeping reduces the risk of Sids as the mother regulates the infant’s body temperature and heartbeat. In the same issue (“one, two, wee!”), the

a stretch too far This letter is in response to the blog “the naked truth” (Child magazine, December 2011/January 2012). I can really relate to the author’s plight. When I was a child I also couldn’t stand seams or elastic. An occupational therapist diagnosed me as being tactile defensive. The feelings your child is having are very real. I have grown out of it to some extent, though wearing a bra is still an issue. Mel

write to us Let us know what’s on

download your resource Visit childmag.co.za/content/3d-guide and you can download our “dealing with difference A to Z guide”, with contact details of who can help, in A3 or A4 size in colour.

your mind. Send your letters or comments to: marina@childmag.

You can also post a comment online at

childmag.co.za

co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our

readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

February 2012

wins

giveaways in february for life’s unforgettable moments The feminine, contemporary Pandora bracelet is designed to allow you to create your own look with interchangeable charms. Visit Pandora stores in Sandton, Menlyn, Fourways, Eastgate and La Lucia, selected Edgars stores and specialist jewellers. For more info, contact: 011 706 2377, info@sbh.co.za or visit pandora.net to view the entire collection. One reader stands a chance to win a sterling silver Pandora bracelet with four charms and three Murano glass beads valued at R3 000. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-jhb and use the code “Pandora JHB”.

sweet fantasy The Peek-a-Boo Playhouse is a child’s delight, turning any bedroom, playroom or garden into a fantastical play area. For more info, contact Michel: 083 704 8600 or visit featherbrookechildren.co.za

where it’s at

One reader stands a chance to win a Peek-a-Boo Playhouse with the Le Petite rose cream wrought iron stand valued at R 4 500. Simply enter via childmag. co.za/wins-jhb and use the code “Peek-A-Boo JHB”.

February 2012

The vibrant Lakeside Mall in Benoni provides convenient, affordable shopping. The entertainment area is a New Orleansinspired town square, which houses a children’s zone. Throughout the holiday they are hosting craft evenings there on Fridays and Saturdays. For more info, visit lakesidemall.co.za Two readers stand a chance to win a R1 000 gift card to use at any shop in the mall. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/winsjhb and use the code “Lakeside Mall JHB”.

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splash out

cutting-edge cutie

The all-new Huggies Little Swimmers, with its unique, easyto-open and close sides for convenient changing, is the only nappy of its kind in South Africa. The nappies prevent leakage, and are made from material that does not swell when wet. One reader stands a chance to win Huggies Little Swimmers along with swimming lessons for your baby, a blow-up swimming pool and a branded towel, valued at R1 200. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-jhb and use the code “Little Swimmers JHB”.

Okaidi is a progressive fashion brand for children up to the age of 14 years. They are located throughout Johannesburg with stores in Hyde Park Corner (011 325 4674), Sandton City (011 784 6731) and Cresta Shopping Centre (011 476 9927). For more info, visit okaidi.com Four readers stand a chance to win a R500 Okaidi gift voucher. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-jhb and use the code “Okaidi JHB”.

to enter simply visit childmag.co.za

taste for tots Toddler Tastes provides a range of balanced, wholesome, vitamin- and mineral-rich meals that are ready to eat in 60 seconds and include up to four vegetables per meal. All meals have no additives, preservatives or stabilisers, and no added colourants, sugar or salt. Contact: 011 466 3112, info@toddlertastes.co.za or visit toddlertastes.co.za Ten readers stand a chance to win a full range of Toddler Tastes meals, valued at R200. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-jhb and use the code “Toddler Tastes JHB”.

or post your entry to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Entries must be received by 29 February 2012.

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congratulations to our November winners Kim Bailey wins a Tripp Trapp chair; Razina Laher, Kate Bunge, Sonja Greig, Shanéll Hunt, Marilies Schonfeld, Rhona Pellegrino, Eileen Cottle and Susanne de Vries each win a Nivea Sun hamper; Shirley Rynners wins a year’s supply of Weetbix; Lynton Chowles wins a Sweetheart Cottage and Keera Giloi wins a Le Grande Garage.

February 2012

advertorial

best for baby

no substitutes As part of its “breast is best” policy, the health department will no longer give formula to mothers

February 2012

and as adults, are at a lower risk of chronic lifestyle diseases such as obesity, coronary heart disease and type 2 diabetes. Mother-child bonding is also accelerated through breast-feeding. This means that breast-feeding is not just about nutrition.” He says mothers benefit from breast-feeding, as it lowers their risk of developing breast and ovarian cancer. The World Health Organisation also confirms that the benefits for HIV-positive mothers far outweigh the risks. The chance of the baby being infected, once put on antiretrovirals, is greatly reduced with exclusive breast-feeding. State hospitals in KwaZulu-Natal have already stopped subsidising formula milk and the other eight provinces are expected to follow suit this year. If a mother does decide to bottle-feed, she will now have to pay for her own breast milk substitute. The state will, however, prescribe formula for the babies of mothers who cannot breast-feed for medical reasons.

so what does that mean for you? Although patients at private hospitals and clinics will still have access to formula, and are able to buy formula if

they choose to bottle-feed, proposed changes to labour legislation will enable all mothers to make a more informed choice when it comes to the feeding of their babies. Motsoaledi says the workplace is one of the many barriers to exclusive breast-feeding. “Most working environments are not supportive of breast-feeding.” There are proposals to extend maternity leave to encourage mothers to breast-feed exclusively for longer than three months. A minimum of six months is considered healthy practice. The workplace needs to be an enabling environment for breast-feeding, and there should be a clean environment where a working mother can express, as well as facilities to store breast milk. Breast-feeding rooms and crèche facilities would help create workplaces more conducive to breast-feeding, says Motsoaledi. Furthermore, the “aggressive” promotion of formula by manufacturers will be restricted by the formal adoption of international marketing guidelines. These will extend to bottles and other products too. Labels should include, for example, information about the importance of breast-feeding and promote cup feeding as the preferred alternative.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

nly about eight percent of South African mothers choose to exclusively breast-feed their babies, despite the health benefits. To change this “unacceptable situation”, the government will stop providing formula, or breast milk substitutes, to mothers at state hospitals and clinics, unless a doctor prescribes it. There will also be formal changes to the way in which formula is marketed. National regulations on the marketing of breast milk substitutes are expected to be finalised and adopted as legislation within the next 12 months. The strong stance, which calls for the active promotion, protection and support of exclusive breast-feeding, has been mostly welcomed by the health care sector. Health Minister Aaron Motsoaledi says South Africa is one of 12 countries worldwide where infant mortality is on the increase. “It is undeniable that breast-feeding is the very best way to nourish babies – there is, literally, no substitute for it.” Motsoaledi is unequivocal about its merits. “Breastfed babies are better protected against infections like diarrhoea, respiratory illnesses, allergies and ear infections; they are at much lower risk of malnutrition

at state hospitals, reports ANÉL LEWIS.

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February 2012

health

maintain a natural balance Knowing when to give your family probiotics could mean

robiotics are naturally occurring microorganisms found in the digestive system, the skin and the body’s orifices. They balance out the bad bugs and are needed to build a strong immune system. It only takes one course of antibiotics, which kills off these good bacteria, to make us vulnerable to other disease-causing bacteria such as yeasts, fungi and parasites. Common childhood illnesses and conditions, such as diarrhoea, constipation, eczema, fungal infections or lactose intolerance, have been found to be caused by a lack of probiotics in the body. This is why Cape Town pharmacist Felicia Rubin says, “If you settle the gut, you will settle the child.” She goes on to list the benefits of a probiotic supplement: “It is recommended for counteracting lactose intolerance as it helps the digestive system produce lactase, which in turn breaks down lactose. I have also found that many children suffering from eczema often benefit more from using a probiotic cream than other topical options. But as eczema is an immune deficiency of sorts, give your child probiotic tablets if you want a cure.” The ingested option strengthens the immune system, getting to the real cause of the problem. On this, it is important to take a quality probiotic that contains one billion units per serving of the bacteria bifidobacterium and lactobacillus.

February 2012

rich food from fermented products with live cultures, such as yoghurt, cheese or milk. Felicia also advises, “Avoid a problem by learning to spot a red flag. If you or your child are deficient in an essential mineral or are allergic to something that you are eating, pay attention to your body; it will speak to you through various symptoms such as a skin reaction or an upset tummy. Flag the allergens and eliminate them from your diet, or do research to find out what mineral you are lacking.”

a new age holistically speaking As probiotics are found naturally in our bodies, we can, for the most part, avoid supplementation if we ensure our family follows a balanced diet and if we breast-feed our babies. Breast milk contains a mix of carbohydrates, amino acids, fatty acids, hormones, immunity-enhancing antibodies, and assorted vitamins, minerals and enzymes that maintain a healthy colony of good bacteria in the digestive tract. If you bottle-feed, you could consider consulting your paediatrician about using a probioticfortified formula. If anyone in the family is on a course of antibiotics, make sure you are all getting a healthy intake of probiotic-

Despite its apparent benefits, scientific research on probiotics is still in its early stages. Consumers, however, are buying into the value of the product. According to the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, a department of the American Institute of Health, sales of probiotics in the USA have tripled from 1994 to 2003. If you asked some doctors why this is, they might say it’s thanks to clever marketing campaigns. Then again, we can’t ignore the fact that taking probiotics while on a course of antibiotics does make us feel better and using probiotics during a nasty bout of gastro brings quick relief. Despite the lack of conclusive evidence, probiotics remain a popular form of self-medication.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

fewer trips to the doctor, says LUCILLE KEMP.

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February 2012

upfront with paul

time for tough love Parents have the right to a life too, says PAUL KERTON, so don’t feel guilty about being a bit selfish occasionally.

rgent notice to all parents – be more selfish. Lift up your head from that cluttered floor full of scattered toys and wet towels long enough to think about yourself and grab some me time before you hit 50, the children scoot the nest and you are left wondering where your life went. That’s right. You have a right to a life too! It sounds obvious, but in the middle of parent overload we forget and it often takes some interfering outsider – like me – to point it out. Yes, modern life is more exacting than before. We have a thousand more decisions a day to make than our parents did, technology has made more work rather than less (how many phone numbers and email addresses do you have for one person?) and money really

February 2012

is too tight to mention. Children have always ruled any loving family to a certain degree, but today, more than ever before, children dominate our lives morning, noon and night. Our generation of children is a demanding, mollycoddled lot where the child often dictates the pace. Talking about the tail wagging the dog, I was watching a group of parents the other day at a function, fussing over their young children and it was as if the children were disabled. Here were healthy, bouncing children with strong legs and arms, and inquisitive minds, who were too lazy to get off the couch to fetch their own sauce from the table. There is something very wrong here. It seems like every day is National Children’s Day. Okay, we all want our children to be happy and

will do everything in our power to make sure they get the best start, but they also need to take responsibility for their own life – or some of it at least. A warning to all parents – the consequences of not being selfish are catastrophic. First you lose self-respect, secondly you forget to have fun and thirdly you no longer have a marriage, you merely have a domestic home help agency with demanding but non-paying clients. Also the children don’t get to practise their skills. We all have the illusion that it is quicker for us to do things for our children than it is to take the extra time needed to train them to do it themselves, which is why we always have the monkey on our back. If you find yourself losing patience and

saying “Don’t worry, I’ll do it”, you may as well draw a target on your forehead and give your child an assault rifle. Stop right there. Think. Crikey, if someone can train a Labrador to cross the road, I’m sure you can train your child to put his shoes on the correct feet. Children love merit charts and rewards but we parents are terrible at docking off points for clothing left on the floor, bedrooms that resemble post-war Libya and general clumsiness. Stop being so soft and cuddly. Take away the TV, the computer, the Nintendo and the MP3 player – the things that they love. And don’t just threaten, do it. You’ll feel so much better. Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad 2: from walking to talking… and beyond.

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PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

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February 2012

dealing with difference

highs and lows Medical experts are divided about the diagnosis and treatment of children with bipolar disorder, says KATE DOUGLAS.

ore children worldwide are being diagnosed with bipolar disorder (also known as manic-depression), a severe mental illness that can be fatal if not treated properly. While medical professionals seem to disagree on just about everything to do with bipolar disorder in children, it is recognised as a serious condition that requires proper diagnosis. According to global statistics, 25 to 50 percent of people diagnosed with the disorder will, at some time in their lives, attempt suicide and about 15 percent will succeed.

what is bipolar disorder? While local statistics are in short supply, the SA Bipolar Site estimates that about one percent of the population suffers from bipolar disorder. It is categorised by mood

bipolar II has been described as being “milder” than bipolar I, the suicide rate is higher in those suffering from bipolar II. Freelance writer and academic, Shellique Carby, 26, from Durban, suffers from rapid-cycling bipolar I, where she has four or more episodes of mania and depression in a year. “The highs and lows would last for about a week. I had extreme mood swings that I couldn’t control, which hindered my functioning in daily life and made me want to do dangerous things.”

causes and symptoms Cape Town-based child psychiatrist, Dr Bev Edwards, believes that the most common and likely cause is genetics. “When a patient has a family history of it, their chance of becoming bipolar increases.” Other theories suggest that a stressful

swings from “high” episodes of mania to “low” periods of depression that differ in severity and frequency depending on the individual. Based on their symptoms, bipolar sufferers are usually diagnosed as having bipolar I or bipolar II disorder. Bipolar I usually involves episodes of both depression and mania and is distinguished from bipolar II by the experience of delusions and the severity and duration of the manic phase, which can last from a week to several months. Bipolar II is more common and is characterised by episodes of severe depression with occasional episodes of “mild” mania, called hypomania. This differs from mania in that no delusions are experienced. While

February 2012

environment and childhood post-traumatic stress can play a large role. The severity of symptoms varies between individuals but bipolar disorder is usually identified by cycles of emotional highs and lows, which may differ in frequency. The highs of mania can include rapid speech, feelings of supremacy, insomnia, disconnected thoughts, grandiose ideas, hallucinations, extreme irritability, paranoia, aggressive behaviour, an increase in strength and energy and openly promiscuous activity. For 24-year-old Matt von Abo, of Cape Town, his behaviour during his manic stages contributed to many of his successes during high school. “I became more creative with art and music and became obsessed with learning things that interested me. I was magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

When a patient has a family history of it, their chance of becoming bipolar increases.

also popular as I was always the loudest, sharpest, wittiest, most impulsive and outthere person. People love you when you are like that, even teachers. But I always took it too far; it damaged relationships and got me into a lot of trouble at school.”

symptoms in children “Children don’t present symptoms like adults,” explains Edwards. “In adults, you typically get manic, then depressed, followed by a break, then manic again and so on. In children, you often get the mixed-mood episode, where a child experiences depression and mania at the same time.” Children with early-onset bipolar can often experience rapid cycling. “Their mood changes rapidly,” says Edwards. “They don’t see clear happiness and sadness and this usually results in them becoming extremely irritable and often aggressive.” It is because of this that

health profession, but I still think it may be a bit over-diagnosed.” Johannesburg clinical psychologist Adele Romanis thinks that it may be the new flavour of the month. “We saw it in the 90s with the surge of children being diagnosed with ADHD. Now they are beginning to realise that the problem wasn’t ADHD and that we have been incorrectly medicating these children. Misdiagnosis can be damaging to mental health.”

is your child bipolar? A diagnosis is usually made when a crisis is reached and alternative medication has failed to work in the long run. Edwards believes that it takes about eight years to make an accurate diagnosis of bipolar, as a history of mood cycles needs to be identified. But for Cape Town mother of two, Melissa*, it was when her daughter started behaving in a manner that “scared the heck out of her” that she knew something

I had extreme mood swings that I couldn’t control... and it made me want to do dangerous things. bipolar in children is often misdiagnosed as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or interpreted as attention seeking or acting-out. It also explains why it is commonly diagnosed during a person’s 20s, when their moods can no longer be dismissed as typical teenage behaviour. While most sufferers are only diagnosed as adults, the symptoms can often be traced back to their pre-teenage years. “When I was about 10 years old, I was so angry at our dog that I threw her down a hill,” says Shellique. “I started showing signs of clinical depression around the age of 12. I could never control my emotions and when they were intense, I couldn’t understand why.” Bipolar usually manifests between the ages of 20 and 30 and lasts for life.

is there a rise in child diagnoses? The Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry says the number of children aged two to five who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and prescribed powerful medication has doubled in recent years. Although there is no research to support this trend in SA, there has been some rise in the number of diagnoses. “This has a lot to do with an increase in awareness of bipolar,” says Edwards. “It has become more accepted by the mental

was wrong. Her daughter, Kirsty*, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years ago at the age of 15. Melissa also suffers from the disorder. Before you go to the child psychiatrist, keep a mood diary or calendar so that they will be able to identify any mood patterns that could help make a diagnosis. Research your family’s medical history for any occurrence of the condition.

treatment Mood stabilisers are the most common form of treatment and Shellique, Matt, Melissa and Kirsty have all noticed a considerable change since taking them. Antidepressants alone won’t help someone with bipolar and many psychiatrists believe that the right dosage is the key to treatment. “I think that the right medication in adults is important but in children it is difficult, making it even more important for the child and parents to attend family therapy,” says Romanis. After diagnosis, Melissa advises parents to inform their child’s school and make sure they know what bipolar is. *Names have been changed. For support groups visit childmag. co.za/resources/3D

five steps for parents suffering from bipolar disorder • M ake sure that your medication is organised simply and stored in childproof containers. • Maintain a family mood diary to monitor both your moods and your children’s, so you can recognise any signs of the disorder. • Attend family therapy. Talk about the condition as a family. Make sure that you know how it’s affecting your children and that they understand what it is. • Tell your children’s teachers so if there are any crises, they will know how to deal with them. • Reduced stress can decrease your chances of manic attacks.

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February 2012

parenting

be a sport Playing on the team is not just about winning; it’s about getting exercise, having fun and

port is a vital part of our lives. We get behind our national teams, although we whinge when they lose, and if you have children at school, even if you are the least sport-loving person in the world, you are at some stage going to find yourself watching a game you may not even understand. But if approached properly, playing sport can be a way for your child to shine on the field while getting some exercise, and an opportunity for you to meet other parents. The policy at most schools is that your child needs to take part in at least one summer and one winter sport (and, no, playing computer games is not one of them). I am not the sporty type but the late father of my children was. He was involved in organised cricket and loved anything that included a ball. So when we had a

February 2012

son, it seemed as though he too would play cricket. But Alex, now 16, did not inherit his father’s skill. In fact, he sucked. And it was while watching a game where my son had just gone out for a golden duck, that I learned one of the first lessons of watching sport: do not assume that the rest of the parents are as peeved about watching their darlings playing in the F team. “Crikey”, I said to a father as I watched my son picking his nose on the outfield, “this is worse than watching paint dry.” He gave me a hard stare, moved several steps away from me and said, “You should be proud of him for representing his school.” I slunk off to drink lukewarm tea.

play the field So, after spending a lot of money on cricket gear, he gave it up, and here is a handy tip: don’t lay out a month’s worth of

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meeting new people, says JEN CROCKER.

grocery money on pricey sports gear until you are sure your child is going to love the sport. Go to a second-hand sports shop or visit your school clothing exchange if they have one and you will find plenty of gear in decent shape that other parents have sold because their child took up a sport and hated it. In fact, Jeanne Forcioli, who heads sport at Rustenburg Girls’ Junior School in Cape Town and holds degrees in sports science and education, says, “I would not suggest sport specialisation at a very young age. It’s important that children are exposed to a variety of sports that challenge them and develop various gross and perceptual motor skills. Saying that, I would not overload their schedules; balance is the key. If you notice your child has special ability or has been identified as talented in a certain field, keep the training hours under check and make sure they still have a chance to be a child and have fun.”

changing interests My daughters Hannah, 14, and Grace, 13, were not sports fans at junior school. Hannah enjoyed being in the swimming team and played social netball. Grace plays social netball, but wishes she had

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taken up cross-country running. Note that children’s sporting skills and interests may change when they go to high school. While they may have been captain of the under12 netball team in junior school, they will be up against new talent at high school. This can work in their favour or against them, but either way, you do need to chat to them about it.

professional coaching Be aware that there may come a stage when your child decides they want to move up the sporting ladder. That is when it’s a good time to consider professional coaching if they need it. Divvie Maritz, the first team coach at Rondebosch Boys’ High School in Cape Town and a trainer of

children from primary to senior level says, “Your child should decide for themselves if they really want to achieve. Sometimes confidence is low, but that happens to everyone in sport, so support from parents is always good. Intervention or being hard on your child because they have failed to live up to your expectations is never the best way to approach the problem, and ends up with the child feeling as if they’ve failed. To achieve in sport involves hard work and determination and that must come from the sports person themselves.”

get insured Have good medical cover, because although Maritz points out that fitness plays a part in preventing injuries, they do

happen and they can be expensive. Many schools offer top-up medical insurance for sport at very reasonable rates.

game rules – for you You can be a cheering, vocal parent, and I am, but there are boundaries. Ask your child from the outset whether they want you to be a vocal parent or not. Hannah informed me that I could only watch her matches if I kept my mouth firmly shut. Maritz says, “Manners around the field are very important as you set the example for your children. Never swear or bad-mouth the referee or coach. But the coach should always be available for discussion or to offer help for your child.” Although coaches should be accountable and approachable, there are some no-go areas as far as I am concerned. They know the group of children, or the pool of talent they have to work with. Don’t go to them and demand that your child be moved up to a higher team. I have seen it happen and invariably the child is ridiculed by team-mates. Remember, at the end of the day, sport might be important, but winning is not always the most important thing. Being a good sport, learning how to work with a team and learning how to deal with frustration and defeat are all good life lessons.

February 2012

parenting

There is also an etiquette that exists around the field for parents. Try not to embarrass your child by shouting out their name when you think they have done something stupid. Be polite to the parents of visiting teams, clap when the visitors score, even if you can only manage a lukewarm flap, and cheer like crazy when your team does something amazing.

and after the game? There are golden rules for being a good, sport-supporting parent. I don’t get them right all the time, and your children may all require different responses from you. I have learnt that my son does not want me to talk to him when he comes off the field after a game. He wants to be handed money for a burger and a drink, and be left to decompress with his friends. Wait to hear how your child feels about their performance before you tell them what you think. Forciolli has the following advice: “Being honest with your child is always the best. They will learn to trust you and your opinion. If you are honest about the small stuff, they will trust your judgement when it really counts and come to you for advice on the big things. Children know when they haven’t played or performed to their best. Be open and talk frankly, but sensitively, about how they are feeling.” The advice from the coaches is pretty clear. It isn’t as important as you might think that your child plays in the first team. The important thing is that they are playing sport and they can be proud of playing at whatever that level is. Most of all, know this, you will never ever watch a game as closely or with as much passion as you will when your child is on the field doing their best, getting exercise and learning how to be part of a team.

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what if your child doesn’t want to play sport? Jeanne Forciolli, head of sport at Rustenburg Girls’ Junior School in Cape Town, has the following advice: • Sport should not only be seen in the formal context of organised, competitive sport. Get your child a bike, skateboard, rollerblades or a skipping rope. Put up a pull-up bar in the passage, get a Pilates ball for them to balance on, let them climb trees and get a trampoline for the garden or take them swimming or boogie boarding at the beach. Even walking the dog is good exercise. • Exercise can be a family affair. If you’ve ever taken your children to the supertube you’ll know what a good workout climbing the stairs and going down the slides can be. You can also take cricket bats to the beach or park. Put up a mini soccer net or get a croquet or boulles set. • Make sure your children are properly equipped. They are not going to enjoy the family hike if they are wearing the wrong shoes. • Make sure children are hydrated and not hungry or tired. Energy drinks or bars are not needed; a piece of fruit and a bottle of water are sufficient. • The Department of Education has finally recognised the importance of physical exercise and has reintroduced compulsory physical education in schools. From this year, these hours have been lengthened with Grade R to Grade 3 learners now needing to do two hours a week.

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dad’s blog

MARC DE CHAZAL says his early fascination with comic characters and superheroes inspired his love of reading.

ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

fuelled my childhood imagination. But I didn’t just read about superheroes. I also loved the Archie comics about teenagers in Middle America. Their lives were far removed from my pre-teen existence in late-70s South Africa, but I devoured these comic tales nonetheless (it’s not as if

suspect my father thought I was wasting my time – and pocket money – reading comics. I mean, what on earth can one learn from Spider-Man, other than don’t get bitten by a radioactive spider unless you want to spend the rest of your life wearing tight Spidey PJs under your work clothes? But Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man, would stash his clothes in a web somewhere high up on a building, then swing around in his tight PJs on nifty webs he shot from his wrists while beating the living daylights out of the baddies. I thought that was pretty cool. Comics

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got me reading. And I was never bored. It was also really easy to buy birthday and Christmas presents for me – you could just throw in an annual and I’d be over the moon. Comics are not nearly as prolific today – we have TV now, but our children still have a wonderful ability

The comics I pored over as a boy were a far cry from literary masterpieces, but they got me reading. we had South African alternatives). I remember, with a tinge of embarrassment, insisting that my parents call me Jughead at one point. He was Archie’s best mate and a bit of an oddball who wore a weird felt crown-hat and could consume unusually large quantities of food without getting sick or gaining weight. That’s almost a superpower, come to think of it. The comics I pored over as a boy were a far cry from literary masterpieces, but they

to express themselves through imaginative play. Apparently, this can boost their brain power and help them concentrate for longer. I didn’t quite make it to rocket scientist level, but at least I still love to read. Read more of Marc de Chazal’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za/dad-blog

February 2012

parenting

all the world’s a stage… Drama is about more than just bright lights and costumes, says DONNA COBBAN. It can also help

rowing up there was no greater joy than staging a play for my parents’ friends and visitors. With drinks and peanuts in hand, they were herded through to the seating area while we hid behind a curtain in joyful anticipation of what was to come. I have no recollection of the madeup scripts and only a dim memory of the cast, all pulled from neighbouring houses, but what I do remember is the darkened seating, the illuminated acting area… and the curtain. Fifteen years later as a postgraduate drama student, the same magical effect was felt, just on a slightly different scale. While drama may have received cutbacks in schools and garnered disdain from parents wanting their children to

February 2012

pursue engineering degrees, we need to remind ourselves that along with sport, drama is part of who we are. When I talk to drama experts about its benefits, there are a number that come up repeatedly, such as “communication,

Johannesburg South. “By giving children opportunities to succeed in drama, they start to believe in themselves instead of believing they can’t do things.” Tim says this is intrinsically linked to the teaching of drama in the formative years.

Through the medium of drama, children can find ways of expressing emotions in a safe and contained way. self-esteem and confidence”, all essential skills children will need to have happy and contented lives, says Tim Hulse, principal at the Helen O’Grady Drama Academy in

Gill Brunings, director of the Rising Star Performing Arts Academy in Durban, says that children start discovering the performing arts, not just drama, as soon as

they are born, through music, rhythm and role-playing. “Formal tuition can start from the age of three. However, training should not be too structured and pigeon-holed as a child needs to explore and discover their own self and space around them. This is one of the foundations of developing selfconfidence,” she advises. And while there are numerous life skills that come with doing drama, there are also the less obvious ones. Gill tells of how a class of Grade 7 students was working towards a performance for the South African speech and drama festival. “One lesson covered breathing techniques and most of the students thought it was silly to learn how to breathe, saying sarcastically,

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your child develop self-confidence and discipline.

‘we have been breathing for 13 years’.” The lesson progressed nevertheless and after the festival, one of the students came to Gill and said, “This is the first time I have been able to stand on the stage and talk without needing my asthma pump.” The breathing techniques enabled him to control his nerves and breathe steadily. “Even if this child never stands on the stage again, he now knows that he can control his breathing and reduce the risk of a potentially lifethreatening situation,” says Gill. School plays, I was once told, are the best way to judge a school. If all the children are having fun, and are involved in the process, then the school is likely to be a good one. But if only a few children are chosen to shine and the costumes look as if they were borrowed from Broadway, then it might be best to steer clear. Deborah Gildenhuys, who runs the Spotlight Drama Studio in Cape Town, believes passionately in the power of live performance. “It improves confidence, encourages team building, teaches time management and develops attributes like perseverance, commitment, discipline and self-awareness.” However, those rehearsals you drive to for weeks on end are, in Deborah’s opinion, of more benefit than the performance itself, as it is within this creative process that problem solving and teamwork are learnt.

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While we encourage our children to excel at sports, we don’t necessarily do the same for their minds. Little minds, as with grown ones, are often the most crowded of places and here, drama therapy can be “an effective tool for self growth and development in healthy children, as well as an excellent medium for healing for those who have experienced trauma, loss or difficulty with coping with life’s challenges”, says The South African Association of Drama Therapists. “Through the medium of drama, children can find ways of expressing emotions in a safe and contained way. This not only allows them some distance from their own lives but gives them access to feelings that would otherwise feel dangerous and overwhelming.” For example, a child who plays with a witch puppet can safely express strong feelings of anger and rage in that role. Through drama, they can also try out different ways of responding to a situation and thus learn that there are more effective types of behaviour. Children are able to develop a stronger sense of self, more confidence and improve their ability to relate to others. So whether upfront on stage under the bright lights, backstage in the dark helping to put together a donkey costume or at home with a dressup box and a borrowed pair of heels, drama has the power to transform and heal.

why drama should take centre stage • It develops the ability to deal with emotions, understand their own values and make sense of their life. Exploring what life means enables them to shape their own lives. • It allows for the integration of cultural experiences. Sharing and enjoying values from across cultures promotes understanding, tolerance and cooperation. • It helps young people develop their capacity for empathy, which requires imagination and maturity. • It encourages risk-taking. This pushes young people to overcome obstacles and be flexible and tolerant. Risk-competent people are more able to cope with the uncertainties and challenges of the future. Courtesy of Rising Star Performing Arts Academy

drama programmes in your area Helen O’Grady Drama Academy For branches nationwide visit dramaafrica.com Spotlight Drama Studio 021 794 0243, spotlight@telkomsa.net or visit spotlightdramastudio.co.za Rising Star Performing Arts Academy (Durban) 083 326 3257, gillian@ risingstaracademy.co.za or visit risingstaracademy.co.za

February 2012

education

learn online Schools can bridge the digital divide by making textbooks and educational material accessible to all pupils, via their cellphones or school computers. By MICHELLE JONES

group of teachers and postgraduate university students from around the country gathered in Cape Town recently with one aim: to create a new curriculum-aligned Grade 10 life science textbook that would be available to download from the internet. The weekend was organised by Siyavula, the Shuttleworth Foundationincubated project that aims to provide free and open access to textbooks and learning resources. Mari Clark, from Westville Girls’ High School in Durban, who was one of the syllabus writers for the new curriculum and assessment policy statement documents, says she is thrilled to be part of a project that makes more resources available for children, free of charge. “The curriculum

Horner says a Grade 11 textbook will be created this month.

a digital classroom In a country where learning resources are scarce, literacy and numeracy test results are dismal and not every child has access to a textbook, it has become important for school teachers to use new and interesting ways to challenge learners. Because of this, the rollout of information and communication technology (ICT) into schools is an important priority of the Department of Basic Education (DBE), particularly in previously disadvantaged schools. The White Paper on e-Education has the goal of ensuring that every learner is ICT-capable by 2013, a target which is proving increasingly difficult to meet. “The

changes so fast that textbooks can’t keep up. The poorer schools especially can’t keep buying new textbooks, so most of the children don’t get them. This is a most exciting project.” Clark says she hopes learners will be able to access information that will inspire them. Erica Makings, from La Salle College in Johannesburg, says every child in the country will (eventually) be able to access this textbook on their cellphone. “Many pupils don’t have the finance or the resources, but almost every child in the country has a cellphone. There’s no excuse – education is now open to everyone. They can educate themselves, if their teacher is not in the class. These learners can now get into university. Every learner now has equal access to education.” Siyavula founder Mark Horner says the weekend was a great success and the textbook was expected to be in classrooms this year. He says in terms of quality, the textbook fell between teachers’ class notes and a higher-end textbook. “We’ll have a book that most teachers will be able to teach from for the next year.”

February 2012

relevance and quality of education coexist with the need to expand educational opportunities to communities that were previously marginalised,” says department spokesman Panyaza Lesufi. “It is therefore imperative that the implementation of ICT in education is constantly monitored and supported, especially on aspects that are impeding progress.” The department describes e-learning as a flexible form of education, using ICT tools such as the internet, CD-ROMs, software and other media. Teachers use different technology options for learners in different age groups. These range from simply using computers to complete assignments, researching projects online, making use of online textbooks and playing educational games. But while the rollout of technology into classrooms has been prioritised, it is the more well-resourced provinces, the Western Cape and Gauteng, which are making the most progress. It is only in the Western Cape that the majority of schools (86 percent) have access to the internet. Coming up next are Gauteng (38 percent) magazine joburg

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Many pupils don’t have the finance or the resources, but almost every child in the country has a cellphone. There’s no excuse – education is now open to everyone.

and Mpumalanga (30 percent), with the rest of the provinces trailing behind. Khanya, an initiative of the Western Cape Education Department, was established 10 years ago with one simple aim – to put computers in every school in the province. The project, which is extremely close to its goal, has won international awards and is recognised as the most successful of its kind in the country. “Schools are currently connected through various uncoordinated and sometimes incoherent initiatives that are mostly donated by the private sector, except in the Western Cape, North West and Gauteng provinces where centrallycoordinated, provincial initiatives have been implemented,” says Lesufi. The same provinces with the higher number of schools connected to the internet also have the most computers available in schools for pupils’ use. “The low percentage of schools with computers for teaching and learning is alarming considering the time frames set for the attainment of the goals of the White Paper on e-Education (2004) and the Action Plan to 2014,” says Lesufi.

have cellphone, can learn While it is the schools in more affluent areas that are able to provide the extra funding needed to make use of technology, it is the schools in previously disadvantaged areas that need this technology to improve their

shocking numeracy and literacy scores. This is where a change in thinking is needed. Instead of banning cellphones as most schools have done, some forward-thinking teachers have taken the step of allowing these devices into classrooms. Almost every learner has one, some sneak them into school and most are able to access the internet. This suddenly allows pupils to complete research, ask questions and stay in touch with teachers and fellow pupils. Siyavula makes maths and science textbooks freely available on the internet to download. These can also be downloaded onto cellphones, so that pupils have them on hand at all times – in class, the taxi or at home. “In cases where schools don’t have textbooks, anyone can print them at a fraction of the cost of a traditional book. The open copyright license allows educators to legally copy, change, print and distribute them as they need,” says Horner. “Learners will get better resources put in front of them, ones that have been changed for their needs. The books will be more readily and immediately available on their cellphones. They are cutting through the digital divide. That’s quite revolutionary. We’re really excited about making these resources available to all pupils and teachers.” Michelle Jones is the Cape Times education writer.

benefits of e-learning According to the Department of Basic Education, the use of technology in the classroom is “potentially powerful” in its numerous benefits for pupils. These include: • expanding access to education; • strengthening the relevance of education to the increasingly digital workplace; • transforming teaching and learning into an engaging and active process connected to real life; • increasing learner motivation and engagement through the use of videos, television and multimedia computer software that combine text, sound and colourful moving images to provide engaging, challenging and authentic content; • facilitating the acquisition of basic skills and concepts that are the foundation of higher order thinking skills and creativity through drill and practice. This is achieved through the use of educational software and television programmes that use repetition and reinforcement to teach the alphabet, numbers, colours, shapes and other basic concepts; • enhancing teacher training by improving access to and the quality of teacher training through self-directed, self-paced online and television broadcasts and, • transforming the learning environment from teacher-centred to learner-centred.

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February 2012

straight talk

level the playing field New guest columnist, GARY KOEN, says a zero-tolerance approach

hen you hear that your child is being bullied, your first question will probably be, “Why is this happening to my child?” Your child, as the victim, is likely asking the same thing. But these are the very questions a bully wants you to ask. Bullies rely on doubt, confusion, deception and intimidation to get away with what they are doing. But they also need an environment that, either tacitly or implicitly, allows what is happening to continue.

what is bullying? Betrayal and secrecy form the cornerstones of all successful abuse, and a culture of silence generally

February 2012

protects bullies, even encouraging them. A bully’s actions are usually covert, and they will go all out to discredit their victims, even portraying themselves as the ones who have been maligned. This is particularly the case with a bully who is highly regarded by the school. Parents are often discouraged to learn that, after notifying their child’s school of a bullying incident, their child is now also regarded as a snitch for disclosing what happened. Bullies feel a sense of triumph and perverted fulfilment in inflicting pain and suffering on others. Their perception is that, because they are so far above this other person, they are allowed to say and do whatever they want without the other being allowed to react. It is very seldom that

the victim possesses the power or has the support to withstand the bully. In fact, the violent bully often provokes the victim to get a reaction, relishing the opportunity to “justifiably” attack them by claiming that they started it.

types of bullying Boys live in an external world, with the focus on the physical, so they are more prone to physical bullying where size, a desire and propensity for violence and the sense of satisfaction that comes from the suffering of others make for a cruel and frightening combination. Girls are naturally more inclined towards the internal, making them more adept at psychological bullying. This is a

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to bullying will help eradicate this scourge from our schools.

more seditious type of abuse, where the constant verbal barrage of putdowns, insults, and attacks on a person’s character, colour or class, gradually erodes their selfconfidence and self-worth, leaving them feeling demoralised and worthless. A type of sexual bullying is also happening in some schools. This is where a group of boys targets lessdeveloped classmates, taunting them and at times groping them, making the experience more akin to a prison rape than an adolescent joke. Cyberbullying is a new and destructive form of technological bullying that children, parents, teachers and the justice system are still coming to grips with. While

and consequences of all forms of bullying, for both the victim and the perpetrator. One of the main reasons the justice system would rather these issues be resolved in a restorative fashion is because the legal consequences could result in children being criminally charged, giving them criminal records. This highlights the seriousness of bullying behaviour – a message which does not seem to be getting through to a lot of children.

when can it start? While bullying is not a normal part of human development, it can, and does, often occur during the first few years of school. During pre-primary and early primary school, it

The simple solution to the problem of bullies is to try and create environments in which bullies cannot thrive, and the only way that you can do that is to change the way our schools operate. South Africa does not have any specific laws that deal with cyberbullying, the forms it takes are covered by other criminal offences. These include crimen injuria, which refers to the serious and intentional violation of another person’s privacy or dignity and assault, where a person receives a threatening or frightening message from another person. While parents are entitled to follow a legal route to redress some of these attacks, they need to know that these issues are far from clear-cut, and generally the justice system would rather they be resolved through diversion programmes and other social agencies. Schools need to educate parents and pupils only about the dangers

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would not be uncommon for boys and girls to mock and tease a child with some basic difference. Yet, as cruel as it is, they don’t know any better. If parents and teachers are able to intervene during this stage, they can usually change this form of behaviour and instil a sense of empathy. Most children are able to learn this fairly quickly. However, it becomes abnormal when bullying behaviour continues beyond these early years. As children become teenagers, there is a real developmental need for power or, rather, to feel empowered and to feel a sense of achievement for doing things that they are good at. The frightening thing about bullies is that their sense of control and achievement

is gained through victimisation and humiliation, and what makes them so dangerous is that their bullying behaviour does indeed gratify this fundamental need.

what the schools are doing Schools have an ongoing responsibility to confront and expose this culture and to communicate in no uncertain terms the consequences for offenders. According to the constitution, schools have a statutory obligation to provide an environment for their learners that is “not harmful to their health or wellbeing, and which guarantees their physical, emotional and cultural safety”.

February 2012

straight talk

This means that all forms of bullying behaviour are considered serious offences. The parents of children who have been bullied have the right to press charges against the offenders. Many admirable anti-bullying policies and programmes are offered by organisations such as the Children’s Resource Centre, and the Western Cape Education Department, encouraging children to empower themselves, to become aware and accepting of each other’s differences, and to confront and object to all forms of bullying and abuse. However,

advice for parents We are not going to be able to eradicate bullies completely. Bullies are a fact of life; there are too many developmental factors for any single school to control. Parenting is difficult to get right all the time, and there will always be nasty and destructive individuals. Therefore, parents who discover that their child is being bullied, need to go directly to the principal. Concerns about your child’s safety have to be heard at the highest level. You will also soon find out whether

Bullies feel a sense of triumph and perverted fulfilment in inflicting pain and suffering on others. for such programmes to truly succeed, our children also need to trust that their schools will support them. They need to have faith that their teachers will take a clear stand against bullies and their behaviour. The responsibility for the eradication of bullies from schools has to rest mainly with those who are in charge – it has to begin with the principal. The simple solution to the problem of bullies is to try and create environments in which bullies cannot thrive, and the only way that you can do that is to change the way our schools operate.

the school is committed to upholding and implementing their bullying policies. While an uncompromising stance against bullying should be the priority of every school, parents need to weigh up the value of fighting against a system reluctant to take responsibility or proper action against bullying behaviour. In one case, the parents of a Grade 8 boy only discovered that their son was being bullied at the boarding school he attended after they were contacted by a housemaster who grew concerned

books about bullying for children from the age of three

February 2012

Chester Raccoon and the Big Bad Bully (Tanglewood Press) By Audrey Penn

Little Lucky Lolo and the Very Big Boy (Giraffe Books) By Adrian Varkel

From the author of the New York Times bestseller The Kissing Hand, beautifully illustrated by Barbara L. Gibson, comes the story of Chester Raccoon as he learns how to change a bully into a friend.

In this delightful local tale, Little Lucky Lolo learns that he should speak up when dealing with a bully and that sometimes it helps if you show the bully that kindness and team work are more important than being nasty.

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about the boy’s behaviour. They were shocked to discover that their son had been relentlessly and continuously bullied for several months. This came to light after he developed symptoms consistent with severe anxiety. After an investigation, the bully was identified and given counselling and a warning to stop what he was doing. But the victim’s parents decided that this did not constitute an effective response and didn’t afford their son sufficient protection from the bully, so they removed him from the school. It took him almost two years of therapy to recover from his ordeal.

dealing with the bully Schools often try to understand and counsel the bully. On some level, bullies are also victims and they may also need compassion and understanding, but schools need to make it clear that understanding is not going to be the first thing that happens. The bully must be stopped first and then it must be seen whether they can learn a different way of behaving. Parents of bullies must realise that the risk their children pose to others in their immediate environment, and to society in the future, is far greater than their individual need for understanding.

consequences for the victim There is a tendency to view the victims of bullies as being too sensitive, overprotected or immature. While some of this may be true, there is still no reason for anyone to gang up against them and abuse them. No-one has the right to harm someone else in any way. Not many people appreciate the difficulty and complexity of dealing with someone who has been bullied. In many ways, it is similar to dealing with someone who is suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder. The victim feels shame for being bullied and tainted by what has happened to them. They fear that they have been contaminated by their trauma, which will now separate them from society. This is often combined with an entrenched

belief that they must have done something to deserve what happened to them. These children have to be reminded that they have suffered the equivalent of a crime, and the bullies are no different from someone who breaks into your house and assaults you. The message has to be that what happened was wrong, and that they are not at fault. While many schools have counsellors who are able to offer support to bullied children, parents need to know that sometimes these children need an intervention from a skilled clinical psychologist. Parents also need to educate themselves about their rights, and the responsibility of the school, when it comes to preventing bullying from occurring.

Gary Koen is a clinical psychologist in private practice with over 20 years’ experience, working mainly with adults and adolescents. He also does presentations at schools on a range of teenage-related topics. These include all the general aspects of normal adolescent development. He developed and successfully runs a course, “An introduction to adolescence”, aimed at parents. He is also working on a book that deals with the challenges facing parents and teenagers and, as a father of three, he is heavily invested in everything he says. For more information, visit garykoen.co.za

for teenagers

Dear Bully (HarperCollins Publishers) Edited by Megan Kelley Hall and Carrie Jones Top authors for teens share their stories about bullying – as silent observers on the sidelines of high school, as victims, and as perpetrators. This collection is at turns moving and self-effacing, but always deeply personal.

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Playground (Quercus) By 50 Cent Inspired by 50 Cent’s own adolescence, and the mostly true story of a former bully, this book is a hard-hitting and inspirational story of the redemption of a bully. 50 Cent (his real name is Curtis Jackson III), admits that writing this book was a personal journey for him.

February 2012

parenting

talk it through How do once-independent people, with active social lives, make the transition to being selfless parents? It’s about negotiation, says KIM MAXWELL.

didn’t expect to be doing the bath, bottle and bed routine solo for the first couple of nights after my husband’s return from a three-week trip in New Zealand. He was delighted to see our 14-month-old son, Daniel, after the long separation, but was severely jetlagged and nursing a chest infection after a succession of aeroplane journeys. Usually this “my turn/your turn” situation would spark an argument, but I silently let him ease into our domestic routine and keep the germs to himself. It worked. On the second night, supper was put together with no urging on my part. And a few days later, my husband orchestrated an early pram walk to buy croissants so I could have a rare lie-in. Bliss. I’d felt quite virtuous about playing single working parent to our busy boy for such a long stretch. Our weekday nanny also played her part, but I hadn’t predicted being called into an office fulltime for a few days at short notice, while simultaneously managing grocery shops, meals and my toddler’s frequent waking in the night. Yet, if I’d moaned, my husband would’ve retorted that I’d encouraged his overseas trip.

feeling resentful or worse, placing the child in the middle of their fights?

be honest about who’s doing what Louise Roos, 40, of Cape Town, put her career on hold to spend quality time with her baby, Elli, now 10 months. But after starting a practice as a women’s trauma counsellor at her Blouberg home, Louise realised she needed to apply her own professional advice. “One day my husband mentioned he’d like to get to gym more often and I went off about his ‘inconsiderate’ comment. I was spending a lot of isolated time at home and felt resentful. It seemed like I was making most of the sacrifices, around the house and with childcare, and his life didn’t seem to have changed as significantly,” says Louise. “Eventually, I did what I advise my young mother clients to do: I compiled a list of ‘who does what’ and looked at the underlying reasons for why I felt irritated. I started understanding that it was unrealistic for him to play an equal part in the household and childcare, as well as working full time and providing for us.” Georgina Crouth, 37, a newspaper journalist in Johannesburg, drops her

Comparing notes with friends, it struck me that the stormier aspects of our parenting relationship were mirrored by the experiences of other couples with babies or toddlers under the age of four. There is so much emphasis on the changes for parents of newborns, yet after a year on the job we were all still negotiating tasks or time with our partners as we adjusted to the everchanging demands of our little ones. Daycare and childminders lessen the load for working parents during the week. But after hours and over weekends, whose turn is it to stimulate your child with books or games in the park, to change the dirty nappy, prepare and supervise mealtimes and keep up with the dishes, garden or laundry? And how do very independent partners on an equal footing, with active personal interests and social lives, maturely make the transition to selfless parents, without bargaining endlessly,

February 2012

15-month-old daughter at daycare each morning. “My husband leaves home before I do and often gets in late, so I also cook and get Kalyn ready for bed. I sometimes finish extra work at midnight, get up a few times at night to tend to Kalyn, and rise at 5:30am. We have a domestic worker, but not a livein carer,” she says. Georgina’s husband is actively involved over weekends, happily entertaining their toddler, which allows Georgina time for other pursuits. But her lack of sleep puts stress on their weekday relationship. “I get very grumpy when I’m tired, and moan about everything from my husband’s snoring to his failure to wake up for Kalyn.” Georgina and her husband recently reached a compromise that helps. He now provides dinner – home-made or takeaway – twice a week. “Some of our arguments are about differences in opinion about parenting styles,” adds Louise. “As couples we need to discuss and agree upon magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHs and Illustrations: shutterstock.com

Mothers often feel like they’re spread in too many ways. Fathers often don’t step up enough. Roles often need to be redefined.

parenting methods, but also have a back-up alternative for when things are unpredictable. That’s often easier said than done.”

have realistic expectations Cape Town clinical psychologist Janet Bytheway says mothers should set realistic limits and partners shouldn’t automatically expect dinner on the table. “Maybe the partner needs to lend a hand. Instead of using expressions such as, ‘I’m lucky my husband offered to grocery shop’, rather say, ‘These are the tasks that need sharing between us’. Mothers often feel like they’re spread too thin. Fathers often don’t step up enough. Roles often need to be redefined.” Leigh Weir-Smith, 37, of Johannesburg, was juggling too much after the birth of her first child. This work-from-home business owner is mother to four-year-old Isabella and nine-month-old John. Backto-back meetings and weeklong business trips used to be par for the course. But after having her second child, Leigh decided the additional income wasn’t worth the strain on her marriage and family. “I’m fortunate to have an incredibly hands-on husband, but being away puts pressure on your home environment, and on you,” says Leigh. So she scaled down

significantly. “No more travelling and I only work half-days so that my children get the attention they deserve. It makes my life more pleasant as the stress of trying to be Super Mom is removed.” Time out for parents also helps. “I’m learning that young children are so allconsuming that it’s important for partners to give one another some ‘me’ time, or they end up feeling resentful,” says Louise. “I have a monthly girls’ dinner out that I’ve attended for years. My husband loves kitesurfing, so most weekends I drop him off with his gear. It’s only two hours, but it means so much to him. He always comes back with a big smile, feeling more ready to handle a challenging night if Elli isn’t in the mood for sleeping. Ultimately, that helps me.” Leigh says regular date nights boost their relationship. “It requires effort to get off the couch and go out, but it helps us reconnect without being interrupted.” Talking without interruptions – or interrupting – lessens the negotiating we’re inclined to do as life partners. Bytheway says couples also need to have conversations about their values, especially when it comes to discipline. “When couples start to have that conversation – and most of us don’t because we bumble into it – we make progress.”

tips to smooth the way • D urban clinical psychologist Sumayyah Khan suggests that parents schedule tasks. “It may seem tedious but a schedule helps a home run smoothly. Visible lists also lessen arguments because tasks can’t be refuted,” she says. • Parents should delay discussing big issues for later. Children are sensitive and where too young to understand harsh words, can sense the tone of an argument. • But arguing isn’t always bad. Children can benefit from watching their parents negotiate in a mature, respectful manner, according to Khan. “Allow your partner to voice their opinion, stay calm, don’t name-call, sulk or use physical aggression. Be constructive, not destructive. Your child will observe healthy problem-solving techniques.” • Cape Town clinical psychologist Janet Bytheway says parents shouldn’t underestimate the challenges of parenting. “Eighteen months after childbirth we expect a return to normal routines and usually it doesn’t happen. Understand that the first three years are hectic as your children are incredibly dependent on you.” Golf may have to wait. • Keeping score isn’t helpful. There should be frank conversations about what each brings to the partnership, but not in the heat of an argument. Acknowledge financial contributions, childcare roles, chores and, perhaps, one partner travelling frequently and the other slipping more frequently into a childcaring role because a babysitter seems extravagant. • Sometimes drawing up a spreadsheet of expenditure – particularly for a parttime earner who spends frequently on smaller items such as gifts and school fêtes – can be important to show their worth in the relationship.

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February 2012

book extract

easy lunchbox ideas These tasty recipes from IDEAS take the hassle out of deciding what to make for dinner or pack for school lunch. beef and sweet-chilli sarmie

serves: 4

• 30ml olive oil • 8 beef minute steaks • 120ml sweet-chilli sauce • 40ml freshly squeezed lemon or lime juice • 1 cucumber, peeled into ribbons • 1 avocado, peeled and thinly sliced • 60ml plain yoghurt • 30ml low-fat mayonnaise • sliced bread or rolls • coriander to garnish

1 Heat the olive oil in a non-stick pan over a high heat. Fry the steaks in batches for a minute on each side until cooked through. Remove from the heat and drizzle half of the sweet-chili sauce and 10ml lemon juice over the steaks. 2 Place the steaks on top of sliced bread or rolls. Top with cucumber ribbons and avocado slices and season to taste. 3 Mix together the remaining sweet-chilli sauce and lemon juice with the yoghurt and mayonnaise. Spoon on top of the salad ingredients. Add some fresh coriander to garnish.

February 2012

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PHOTOGRAPHS: Ideas / shutterstock.com

Preparation time: 15 minutes | Cooking time: 4 minutes

pita breads with spicy beef and rosa tomatoes

serves: 4

Preparation time: 10 minutes | Cooking time: 15 minutes • • • • • • •

15ml oil 15ml Cajun spice 30ml flour 400g steak, sliced 4 pita breads 250g mixed lettuce 1 small punnet rosa tomatoes, halved

1 Heat the oil in a large frying pan. Mix the Cajun spice with the flour, dust the steak with the flour mixture, and fry until the slices are just cooked.

2 Heat a griddle pan. Grill the pita breads, one at a time, until they start to puff up. Turn each one over to brown both sides. 3 Stuff each pita bread with steak, lettuce and rosa tomatoes, and serve.

citrus chicken kebabs

serves: 4

Preparation time: 10 minutes plus 2 hours marinating time | Cooking time: 10 minutes • 4 chicken breast fillets, cut into large cubes • 100ml olive oil • 125ml fresh orange juice • 60ml fresh lemon juice • 20ml lemon or lime zest • 2 cloves garlic, crushed • 50ml chopped origanum • 3ml salt • 8 kebab sticks • 1 onion, cut into wedges • 1 lemon, cut into small wedges

1 Place the chicken cubes in a sealable plastic bag.

2 Mix the olive oil, orange juice, lemon juice and zest, garlic, origanum and salt thoroughly. Pour the mixture over the chicken in the bag and seal the bag. Massage the marinade into the chicken for approximately two minutes. Refrigerate for two hours or overnight. 3 Thread the chicken cubes onto the kebab sticks, alternating the meat with onion and citrus wedges. 4 Grill or braai the kebabs until just done.

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February 2012

book extract

couscous with chickpeas

serves: 4

Preparation time: 10 minutes • • • • • •

150ml couscous 200ml vegetable stock, hot 1 can chickpeas, drained ½ yellow pepper, diced ½ red pepper, diced 30ml chopped coriander

1 Place the couscous in a large bowl and pour the hot stock over it until it is just covered. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and allow to stand for five minutes.

2 Once all the liquid is absorbed, use a fork to separate the couscous. Add the remaining ingredients and stir through.

vegetarian wrap

serves: 4

Preparation time: 15 minutes | Baking time: 5 minutes | Oven temperature: 200 °C • • • • • • • • •

4 tortillas (flour wraps) 10ml tahini 90ml good-quality mayonnaise baby spinach leaves 1 avocado, sliced 2 large carrots, peeled and shredded 1 red pepper, seeded and thinly sliced 100ml sprouts 250ml grated Cheddar

1 Put the tortillas on a baking tray and place in the oven to warm. 2 Mix the tahini and mayonnaise together and spread onto the tortillas. 3 Arrange the remaining ingredients on the tortillas. Roll up and secure with a toothpick.

February 2012

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serves: 4 Preparation time: 20 minutes, plus refrigeration time | Cooking time: 30 minutes • 300g sweet potato, peeled and cubed • 20-30ml curry paste • 125ml frozen diced vegetables, defrosted • 3 slices bread, crumbed • 50ml chopped fresh coriander • cake flour, for dusting • 125ml natural yoghurt • sunflower oil, for frying • bread rolls and a salad, to serve

1 Boil the potatoes until soft. Drain and mash. Return to the heat and fry until most of the excess liquid has evaporated. Mix in the curry paste and add the vegetables, breadcrumbs and half the coriander. Season to taste.

2 Shape into burger patties. Dust with flour. Chill on a lined baking tray for half an hour or until ready to cook.

3 Heat a layer of oil in a frying pan and fry the burgers on both sides until golden. Mix the yoghurt with the remaining coriander. Serve the burgers on rolls 4 topped with the yoghurt dressing. Serve with a salad.

about the book It can be somewhat of a challenge to come up with exciting yet nutritious meals for the family each night. This fullcolour cookbook, Ideas: 365 Recipes for every day of the year (Human & Rousseau), takes the guesswork out of meal planning. With a recipe for each day of the year, you will never again have to wonder what to cook for dinner. They are also organised into months, making it easier to cook something with the ingredients that are in season. The dishes are varied, with everything from honey, mustard and rosemary pork chops to salmon fish cakes, spicy vegetable dhal and Moroccan burgers. The quick recipes will appeal to harried working parents, busy housewives and even the novice cook. It is available at good bookstores nationwide.

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February 2012

how to

back to school basics Getting the family ready for school or other activities often requires military-like precision. CHILD MAGAZINE offers these tips to make your mornings hassle-free.

Get a whiteboard or a pin board where you can organise everything from the weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s menu plan to extramural activities. Get your children to write in what they would like to have for supper and school lunch on each day of the week. On the side or at the bottom, draw up a shopping list of items you will need to get for the meals. This makes weekly shopping a cinch. You can also include a list of things that need to be done for that week. This could include reminders of people who need to be contacted about play dates or lift club schedules. Assign each person in the family a colour to make the board easier to read at a glance.

February 2012

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

above board

flip for art Children collect a lot of art, and while you would love to exhibit every papier-mâché dinosaur and every finger-painted sun, you will soon run out of wall space. At the beginning of each term, invest in two files with plastic sleeves for each child. Use an A3 file to store art and photographs of larger, three-dimensional artworks and projects. You can also turn your child’s art into funky gifts or decorations. Trace the design from a painting onto fabric and use it to make a unique doorstopper, cushion cover or wall hanging. Artworks can also be given a new lease on life by transforming them into jewellery boxes, letter sets or wrapping paper. An A4 file can be used to store school notices and other important information from your child’s teachers. You could also use a file or binder, with colour-coded tabs for each child, to store these papers. Place the file or folder in a central place, such as on the kitchen counter or on the desk in the study, so that everyone knows this is where notices must be stored.

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make storage bins your friends Use plastic containers or wooden crates to collect toys, books and other items that may be left around the house. Have one in each room and get your children to pack all their things into these containers at the end of the day. That way, nothing will go missing and you will have a tidy house. Use small containers, or even ice trays, to store hair accessories like clips and elastics. When it comes to getting ready in the morning, everything will be in one place. Place an attractive basket near the front door with a collection of towels that your children can grab on their way to the pool – no more wet footprints in the house. Also put sunscreen and sun hats in the basket. Use another container at the front door for sporting equipment, such as hockey sticks and tennis rackets. Transparent shoe holders make nifty storage pouches for other odds and ends, and can be hung behind each child’s bedroom door.

be prepared There’s nothing worse than finding out at the last minute that your child has a party on the weekend and you don’t have a gift. Avoid running to the shops like a mad person by having a well-stocked gift and wrapping paper drawer. Throughout the year, buy things that could make good emergency gifts. Store these in the drawer, along with pretty wrapping paper, labels, cards for various occasions and other decorative items. Also keep a supply of basics, such as Cellotape, glue, string, brown paper, stamps and adhesive labels, in case you need to cover books or send a parcel. If you use drawer dividers, you could also have a section for buttons and thread that match your children’s school uniforms, should you have to repair something in a hurry.

February 2012

how to

school readiness Get your child into the habit of packing their case and laying out their uniform the night before. This will make mornings less frenetic, and you will also be able to see if any buttons are missing or if any items need to be ironed. Shoes should also be polished the night before. You can help ease the morning rush by setting the breakfast table and packing most of their lunchboxes after dinner. Encourage your child to keep an updated diary of tests, projects and extramurals. Most schools require parents to sign these homework books each day, so that you are aware of their work. By keeping an updated diary, they will also know what to pack for the next day and what they can keep at home. Many children lug weighty bags to school because they don’t know what books or items they will need. In the last week of the school holidays, ease them into the school routine by waking them up earlier and enforcing stricter bedtimes.

respect School rules exist to instil respect for your child’s school, for himself and for others. • Make sure your child’s hair is neat and tidy, that uniforms are ironed and presentable and that shoes are polished. A neat uniform shows that your child respects his school and himself. • Make sure clothing is well-marked and don’t take valuables to school. Teachers cannot accept responsibility for items that are lost or stolen. • Don’t be late for school or other school activities without a valid excuse. Late children miss out on the start of the school day, and possibly vital information. It also shows a lack of respect for their teachers and classmates’ time. • Make sure your child has lunch and other necessary items for the day. Many schools frown upon parents bringing the lunch to school during the day, as they want children to learn responsibility and time management.

February 2012

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how to avoid the morning madness what you said on Facebook The evening before – check that the school bags are packed with all the materials and books necessary for that school day, lie out the school uniform and pack sports clothes if needed. Children are to do this on their own, with their parents’ supervision, depending on the age of the child. Mom or the family should prepare lunchboxes the night before. The children can wake up, get dressed, have breakfast, grab lunch and off they go. Nicole Panzer

Prepare the day before, and allocate age-appropriate tasks for children to help themselves get ready. Have patience, give guidance and repeat (instructions) – children learn fast without stress. Veronica Vieira Jardim Get up early and stick to a consistent schedule. Paula Pinto We get everything ready the night before. If we don’t, it’s a mad dash with frayed tempers and it’s just not worth it. Anabela Cruz Ferreira Even with the best intentions, the mornings can be hectic and you can leave home with yoghurt-stained clothes. Our aim is to remain calm no matter what, because the way we react can impact on our children for the rest of their school day. Yes it’s chaotic, but we have fun in the morning. It gets the day off to a great start irrespective of what happens. So, if we get lemons in the morning, we make lemonade. Anthea Brinkman Pack the bags the night before and set the clothes out. Only the lunches stay in the fridge if they need to keep cool. In the morning, I just put the lunches in the bags, a change of clothes and off we go. Sharlene Kearns Prepare most things the night before: set the table with the sugar, tea bags or coffee in the cups, put cereal in bowls and fill the kettle and milk jug. Shaida Rawoot

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February 2012

straight up

no holds barred

PAUL KERTON gets the experts to spill the beans, anonymously, about the things they wish they could tell you.

s parents, we rely on various professionals to look after and educate our children. But these people also have to put up with our irritating demands and quirks. What would they tell us, if they could speak to us honestly?

the preschool teacher What annoys you? I hate Mondays because the children have been spoilt rotten all weekend with their parents and now they have to come back to school and be disciplined (by us). What is the worst thing us parents, do? The worst thing that happens daily, and that clearly upsets the children (and annoys us), is parents who insist on coming into the classroom, supposedly to try to settle their child. It doesn’t work, it makes things worse and the separation is ultimately more traumatic for the child and disruptive for the others. Not believing the teacher Most parents think their children are perfect, or they are in denial. We may say, “We feel there may be an issue with Johnny’s social skills because he keeps hitting and biting other children”. The parent replies, “Nonsense, there’s nothing

wrong with Johnny, it must be the other children”. As professionals, we just want to get the child the support they need as that helps everyone concerned. But parents often won’t accept what the education professionals are trying to tell them. Always wanting to bend the rules We have school rules so that a) the school doesn’t fall apart and b) the children develop some sort of moral code. Parents want special treatment for their child even if it means breaking the rules. They say it won’t matter if Johnny is late, comes to school with flu, wears the wrong clothes, has sweets in his lunchbox or brings very expensive toys to school. “Just this once” is their pet phrase. It does matter.

the children’s entertainer Pushy parents When we are face painting, there is always one parent who pushes her child to the front of the queue and blatantly demands her child be done first. This upsets everybody and is so unnecessary. Everybody gets a turn and children queue nicely. If you’re late, get to the back. Taking over I hate it when the birthday child’s parents insist on changing the rules of the games

There isn’t a person alive who enjoys a trip to the dentist. However, modern dentists do make an effort to help children feel comfortable. Give them a break. If only their parents wouldn’t interfere The biggest mistake parents make is to pass on their own fear of the dentist. Phrases such as, “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt that much” and “If you survive this we can go to a movie”, create anxiety where there probably was none. Dentists can be fun people and can teach the children about their teeth in an engaging way. Sitting in with the child and directing proceedings The worst thing is when the mother is in the room and she keeps leaping up out of her seat at the slightest murmur or grimace from her loved one. Dentistry is quite a complex procedure, with drills and sharp tools operating inside small sensitive mouths. We don’t need parents spooking us halfway through a root canal. My dental nurse once got such a fright that she almost leapt out of the window. Preparing your child Don’t lie and tell them they “won’t feel a thing” or they “won’t have to have an injection”, because that puts pressure on me.

February 2012

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illustrations: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

the dentist

the doctor Today’s parents are all annoying, internet health experts Parents often bring in their child with certain symptoms but before I can ask any pertinent questions, they offer up a dozen amateur diagnoses gleaned from the internet. If I suggest something different, they sit there and start arguing with me. I feel like saying, “With respect Mr Smith, you are a plumber, if you want to be a doctor, go and do seven years at medical school!” How sick is sick? It’s annoying when a parent calls me at 6:45pm (when I have just sat down for dinner) simply because she has to bring her (it’s usually a mother, I’m afraid) snottynosed daughter to the clinic. You would think the child is almost dying, but the child then arrives in her hockey gear after being to practice all afternoon. If your child is well enough to play sport, don’t waste my time. Parents generally overreact to the slightest sniffle. Desperate for medication Nine times out of 10, the child doesn’t need anything apart from rest, love and careful monitoring. Yet the parents aren’t happy unless you give them a prescription for a raft of tablets and potions. They literally won’t leave my surgery until they have a script in their hand.

or the order of things. We do things in a set order that works for us, and the children. There is often great method in our perceived madness. Parents should be seen and not heard The worst thing is when I have the children quiet and paying attention to a story, and the parents start laughing, joking or talking on their cellphones really loudly in the next room. This happens all the time. Then there are parents who bring (noisy) babies to a child’s party.

sports coach Not everybody can be captain Unfortunately there are only so many positions on a team and most sports have specialised positions. So while we try to accommodate everyone, it really is impossible. Dads and rugby teams are the worst. I’ve almost had a fist fight because one son wasn’t the standoff half and the kicker. Not everybody can be captain, yet dads will argue for hours and follow up with phone calls about why their son should be playing in this or that position. Don’t be late So many children are late for practice or for the team bus on match day. If somebody is consistently late then I’m sorry – no excuses – they don’t play. magazine joburg

the babysitter or carer If you don’t need a babysitter, don’t hire one I hate it when the mother hangs about and starts dictating what I do. We have our own methods that are often very different from the parents’. That’s usually why the child likes being with us. If the parent stays and interrupts everything we do, she kills the special relationship and bond between the child and myself. Don’t say “help yourself to anything in the fridge” if you don’t mean it I made myself a cheese and tomato sarmie once and the father went insane. Yet on the way out, he had said I could help myself to something to eat. Being treated as a general slave and dogsbody My absolute worst is when you’re hired to look after the baby or toddler, but you have to wash up and sweep the outside deck. One woman wanted me to help paint the baby’s room. I’m a babysitter, not an odd-job man.

February 2012

resource

my city Fall in love with your city by exploring these family-friendly public spaces.

The city of Johannesburg offers numerous attractions, many of them on your doorstep, and finally also the convenient public transport to help you get there.

for wheelchairs and the disabled. Admission is free. Contact: 011 435 9718 or curator@ jhmt.org.za

Origins Centre

museums James Hall Museum of Transport The museum at Wemmer Pan has a comprehensive collection of land transport dating back to the 1870s, when horsedrawn carts were used, up to 1986 when trams and trolley buses could be found. There is secure parking, an area for picnics and a tuck shop. The museum is accessible

February 2012

Within the grounds of Wits University you will find a centre with the latest multi-media equipment which tells the tale of how humans began life in Africa. The centre boasts the largest collection of rock art in the world and offers tours and workshops, storytelling, puppet shows and a restaurant to fuel exploration of the centre. Cost varies from R35â&#x20AC;&#x201C;R180. Contact: 011 717 4700 or visit origins.org.za

South African Airways Museum Situated at the Rand Airport in Germiston, this museum is dedicated to preserving civil aviation in South Africa. View a collection of aircrafts and aviation artefacts. They have several open days where they encourage the youth to take an interest in aviation as a possible career choice. Entry is R25 for adults and R15 for children. Contact: 083Â 459 7802 or visit saamuseum.co.za

South African National Railway and Steam Museum In Mogale City, just off Malamala Road, you will be treated to the history of the

South African Railways. Bring a picnic and let your children have fun exploring the grounds with the largest collection of retired steam engines and rollers in South Africa, or take a ride in the diesel train, the Magaliesburg Express, to Magaliesburg. Contact: 011 888 1154

Zoology Museum From the Wits campus head towards the Zoology Museum on the East Campus, the only natural history museum in Johannesburg. Here you will find unique specimens clearly displayed in teak cabinets. Contact: 011 646 5513

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY

swimming pools Blairgowrie Public Swimming Pool There is a relaxed atmosphere in the centre with a 20m outdoor swimming pool for recreational swimming and grass areas for picnics and braais. The pool is mostly shallow with the deepest section being suitable for older children. Entry is free. Contact: 011 787 2121

Zoo Lake Swimming Pool Situated alongside the Zoo Lake Sports club and just behind the park you will find the Zoo Lake Swimming Pool, available for recreational swimming, sun tanning and picnics. Swimming lessons by private instructors can be arranged through the centre. Entry is R5 for adults and R2 for children. Contact: 011Â 646 8495

Ellis Park Public Swimming Pool The pool has a 50m outdoor pool, a 15-foot diving pool and a childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s paddle pool. There are lifeguards, a tuck shop and grass areas for you to enjoy a picnic. Swimming lessons by private instructors can be arranged through the centre. Entry is R5 for adults and R3 for children. Contact: 011 402 5565 or 082 464 9505

Ditsong National Museum of Military History Neighbouring the Johannesburg Zoo, this museum was opened by Prime Minister Jan Smuts in 1947. It houses armaments, planes, vehicles and tanks used during World War II, as well as a unique collection of archive material and books. Admission is R25 for adults and R15 for children. Contact: 011 646 5513

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Roodepoort Swimming Pool A large outdoor pool for swimming lengths and recreational swimming. There is a paddle pool for the children and grass areas for picnics and gas braais. Entry is R5 for adults and R2 for children. Contact: 011 760 2237

Blairgowrie Public Swimming Pool

February 2012

resource

Linden Swimming Pool This 25m indoor pool is heated in winter. There are eight lanes for you to practise your strokes and a smaller pool for children. Classes, such as aqua-aerobics, are available and there is a swimming club and coaching. They also have a grass area and clean change rooms. Entry is R8 for adults; children are free. Contact: 011Â 888 3750

walking routes Golden Harvest This pristine park is situated near the Coca-Cola Dome in Northriding and offers 55 hectares of grassland and a dam. Walks should take between 30 minutes to an hour. The park is fenced off and charges an admission fee. Contact: 011 712 6664

Klipriviersberg Nature Reserve In Mondeor one will stumble across a 680-hectare reserve offering a circular trail known as the Bloubosspruit. The reserve has andesitic or volcanic rocks, as well as archaeological and geological sites that make for an interesting and educational visit. Hikers are advised to walk in groups. Admission to the reserve and the bi-weekly guided tours are free. For more info: visit knra.co.za

Kloofendal Nature Reserve The reserve is an ecotourism site with walks of varying lengths, from 30 minutes to three hours. There are monthly nature walks and mine tours available upon request. The reserve is fenced off with security guards

on duty. Admission to the reserve is free except for guided walks which cost R40 for adults and R20 for children. Contact Karin: 011 674 2980, 079 693 5608 or visit kloofendalfriends.org.za

Lonehill Nature Reserve Within the suburb of Lonehill is a rocky outcrop of large boulders called tors. Enjoy a walk around the reserve and see if you can spot the porcupines and dassies. The reserve has three stone age furnaces that were built around 1600. They were excavated in the 1960s but are covered for protection.

Walter Sisulu National Botanical Gardens There is a short but strenuous 3,5km walk, which winds its way over the Witpoortjie Waterfall, home to the Verreauxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eagles. Information boards along the trail offer facts about the geological structures in the area. There is a tea garden for the peckish, a nursery, lush lawns and a stage for concerts. Entry is R25 for adults and R20 for pensioners and children. Pensioners enter free on Tuesdays. Contact: 086 100 1278 or visit sanbi.co.za

Klipriviersberg Nature Reserve

February 2012

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libraries With public libraries spread across Johannesburg in most suburbs, access to literature is at everyone’s fingertips. Membership is free if you borrow four or less books, or you can pay R30 a year to take home more. Many libraries offer special holiday programmes, storytelling and other activities for the whole family.

Linden Library

Johannesburg Public Library

Sandton Library

This beautiful Edwardian building in the CBD has been home to the Johannesburg Library since 1930. It houses two million books with a number of specialist sections. It has been renovated and reopens on 14 February. Contact: 011 226 0953

Situated on Nelson Mandela Square, this multi-storey library has over 92 000 volumes. The library is spacious and has ample reading areas. There is a dedicated children-only section with fiction and non-fiction books, as well as pint-sized furniture for the little ones. Contact: 011 881 6440

Linden Library A pleasant suburban library with a wellstocked children’s section specialising in science books. The library offers a children’s story time once a week on a Wednesday and exciting holiday programmes. There is a monthly book club and book sale, as well as a bi-annual craft market. Contact: 011 888 5685

Norscot Library This Cape-Dutch style mansion, built in the 1920s, is home to the Norscot Library and Recreation Centre. There are beautiful gardens, a koi pond and The Secret Garden restaurant with a play area for children. The library offers storytelling for children aged three to six on Wednesdays, as well as holiday programmes and book sales. Contact: 011 705 3323

parks Johannesburg has many verdant areas available, approximately 2 343, for you to get back to nature and stretch your legs. For more info and to find a park near you, contact Johannesburg City Parks: 011 712 6664 or visit jhbcityparks.com

Sandton Library

Weltevreden Park Library The library organises fun-filled family events throughout the year, such as visits from the Johannesburg Zoo, magic shows and family picnics. Every Thursday there is storytelling for children between the ages of three and six. Contact: 011 679 3406

Emmarentia Dam and Johannesburg Botanical Gardens The 100 hectares of rolling grasslands has various gardens and a dam. The park is a popular spot for picnics and kite flying. There is ample parking and admission to the park is free. Dogs are allowed in the southern-most section. Contact: 011 712 6664

Dorothy Nyembe Park This small park in Soweto has received a top award from the United Nations. It is fenced-off and offers numerous facilities including a bird hide, environmental centre, children’s play area, sporting facilities and a dam. A walk around the park should take 30 to 45 minutes and the unusual signs and sculptures add to this park’s unique character. Contact: 011 938 7600 magazine joburg

Florida Lake This beautiful lake is a bird watcher’s paradise with masses of waterfowl and a bird sanctuary adjacent to it. The park has lapas available for private functions, an Olympic-sized swimming pool, putt-putt, a yacht club and an adventure park for the children. Entry to the park is free. Contact: 011 712 6664 February 2012

resource

Wemmer Pan

Zoo Lake

Adjacent to the James Hall Transport Museum, one can relax on the banks of the river, observe the canoes or Chinese dragon boats, and, as the evening winds down, watch the water come to life with the musical fountains. A walk around the park should take about one to two hours. Contact: 011Â 435 0425

This is a small park that should take about 30 minutes to an hour to navigate. There are rowing boats to hire, restaurants close by as well as the Zoo Lake Bowling Club. There is an annual jazz concert, as well as carols by candlelight over the festive season and free bi-monthly art exhibitions. Contact: 011Â 483 1017

public transport Gautrain

Rea Vaya

This super-slick fast train offers two services: an airport route from Johannesburg to OR Tambo International, and a commuter service from Rosebank to Hatfield, Pretoria with five stops along the way. The train is wheelchair- and hearing impairedfriendly. There is no eating on board but there are clean facilities at the stations. The bonus is being able to get to your destination quickly and safely. The cost varies depending on the destination. For more info: visit gautrain.co.za

The Bus Rapid Transit System is still in the development stages but a few routes are active, such as the inner city circular route (C3). This stops at some of the main attractions in the inner city: Constitution Hill (a good place to start with secure parking), the Johannesburg Art Gallery, Planetarium, Origins Centre, World of Beer and the Sci-Bono Discovery Centre. Buses arrive every 20 minutes. Tickets are affordable and need to be bought from selected stores before your journey. You are not allowed to eat or drink on the buses or in the stations. Contact Customer Care: 011 375 5555 or visit reavaya.org.za

Gautrain bus service Take the Gautrain to Hatfield, Pretoria and spend the afternoon wondering the shops and restaurants of Hatfield Plaza, catch a rugby game at Loftus or board the Gautrain bus service to venture further. Bus fare is R6 for Gautrain users, or R20 for non-users. The bus stops at various attractions in the Lynwood, Arcadia, Waverly and Menlyn areas, departing every 12 to 20 minutes from the marked bus stops. Contact: 0800 428 87246 or visit gautrain.co.za

Sandton Gautrain station

Johannesburg Botanical Gardens

February 2012

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mom’s blog

flights of fancy ANÉL LEWIS realises that her halcyon days of air travel are over – at least for the next few years.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

used to love flying. I would get ready the night before, challenging myself to pack as lightly as possible. I used to get admiring glances from other passengers when the person at the check-in desk would say, “Just the one case then?”. I liked to arrive at least an hour before check-in, so I could leisurely savour a latte before departure. Then I would indulge myself with some glossy magazines, or a good novel, to read during the flight. My preferred seat was against the window, where I could grab some shut-eye without the risk of drooling on the hirsute man seated next to me. But this has all changed since travelling with a 10 month old. Now the suitcase is packed with nappies, extra formula, her clothing, some toys and even a cot sheet or two. My hand luggage comprises more nappies, a changing mat, a cooler bag with snacks, toys (aka distractions), a first aid kit, rescue remedy (for me),

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By the time we’ve checked in the baby seat and the luggage, it’s time for the fourth nappy change since leaving home. bottles and a change of clothes. There is no time for a latte. By the time we’ve checked in the baby seat and the luggage, it’s time for the fourth nappy change since leaving home. An aisle seat is a must, as I will probably need to brave the bread bin-sized lavatory to attempt this aforementioned change. On a recent trip to Johannesburg, I arrived with blobs of yoghurt in my hair and cheese stains on my shirt. But the low point of the trip had to be standing up, only to realise that my elasticised trousers (for comfy flying) had

slipped down during the flight, giving rows 21 to 40 a surprise show. Fortunately, the people seated there were most forgiving, and instead of pointing out my fall from grace, they gushed about how well behaved Erin was during the flight. So, in retrospect, it wasn’t all bad. But next time I fly, I’m wearing a dress. Read more of Anél Lewis’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za/mom-blog

February 2012

books

a good read for toddlers

Bizzy Bear: Off We Go! By Benji Davies Published by Nosy Crow (R72) This is the ideal first book for children from as young as one and up to the age of three. Bizzy Bear’s off on holiday, but he has to take a taxi, a train and then a plane before he arrives at the beach and can set sail on his boat. This is another fun little slider book and is perfect for vehicle-mad toddlers. Rich in visual detail and with touches of humour, this book is set to become a firm favourite in the family library. Moms and dads might remember the illustrator, Benji Davies, from the Farm Parade and Dino Parade books.

February 2012

Splish, Splash, Splat! By Rob Scotton Published by HarperCollins Children’s Books (R77) In this delightful story for children between the ages of three and five, Splat does not want to have a play date with Spike. Spike will break his toys and eat all of his fish sweets. And he does not want to learn how to swim, because water is scary and wet. He’s sure that this is going to be the worst day ever. But when the rest of their classmates rush straight into the pool, Splat and Spike find that they may have more in common than they thought. Will Splat overcome his fear of water and get into the pool? And will Spike do the same?

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

irst my f k boo

for preschoolers

for early graders

Who’s Who in the Wonderful Woods and Creepy Crawly Caterpillar and the Butterfly Inside By Tamar Dakes and Joanne Marsden Published by Beaming Kids (R109,95 and R89,95) The Wonderful Woods is a magical place, full of adventure, stories and friendship. Children from as young as three can meet the who’s who as they share positive affirmations in the A to Z book of children’s poetry. This book is interactive and fun, and the poems will inspire children to have positive and powerful thoughts. In the second book, a disgruntled caterpillar sets off on a journey to find her true self. Her hopes are dashed when none of her friends will help her. Just as she is about to give up, the natural process of metamorphosis takes place and she is transformed into beautiful Brenda butterfly.

Hubble Bubble Granny Trouble By Tracey Corderoy and Joe Berger

star book

Published by Nosy Crow (R110) If your granny was a little bit, well, different from other grannies, would you want to change her? Or would you end up thinking you love her just the way she is? In rhyming text, a little girl whose granny is (whisper it) “a witch”, gets fed up with dealing with the problems she creates, so she tries to reform her. But a reformed granny is bored and boring, and maybe it’s more fun to cook up a big pot of gloop with granny’s witchy friends after all.

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the r keepe

Kingfisher First Encyclopedia By Anne Civardi and Ruth Thomson Published by Kingfisher Books (R190) With more than 90 entries, organised in alphabetical order, this encyclopaedia is a handy tool for inquisitive children. It covers a wide variety of topics, from animals and cars to prehistoric life and sport. All entries have vibrant colour artwork and photographs and it has been laid out in such a fashion that it is fun to use. With bite-size chunks of information children can learn about winter in the Arctic, how books were first published, how fish come to life, what history really is and more about mammals, the sun and other topics.

The Roald Dahl Treasury By Roald Dahl Published by Puffin Books (R163) The Roald Dahl Treasury is a delightful collection of stories for children seven and older, by and about Dahl, the great storytelling genius. Four themed sections – Animals; Magic; Family; Friends and Foes and Matters of Importance – introduce some of Dahl’s best-loved characters, including Willy Wonka, the BFG, the witches, the Twits, James and Matilda. In each section you will find complete stories, poems, memoirs and letters, as well as some unpublished poetry and letters.

February 2012

books

for early graders My First Book of Southern African Ocean Life By Roberta Griffiths and Judy Maré Published by Random House Struik (R99) Young children will enjoy discovering the 58 fascinating ocean creatures, which range in size from the earth’s largest animal, the blue whale, to the tiniest plankton. The newest title in the popular My First Book series offers vivid, accurate illustrations of each creature, simple text that will satisfy the curiosity of those who are learning to read and of young listeners, as well as simple pictograms that show at a glance where each species can be found, what it eats and its relative size. As an added bonus, all the English text is repeated in Afrikaans, Zulu and Xhosa.

African Reptiles & Frogs By Sally MacLarty Published by Random House Struik (R45) In the fourth book of the series, children can enjoy many hours of fun colouring in this selection of Africa’s fascinating reptiles and frogs. There are more than 40 images to colour in, each accompanied by an interesting caption to help budding artists and young naturalists learn as they work through this book. In the middle of the publication is a gallery of all the creatures in full colour, providing a clear guide as to which crayons or paints to use when colouring in the outlined images.

for preteens and teens

e scienc and maths 50 Amazing Things Kids Need to Know About: Science and Mathematics By Penny Johnson and Anne Rooney Published by Quercus Publishing (R100 each) Specifically written by educational experts, these books are suitable for children aged seven to 11 years. Science reveals 50 of the most amazing things that science can do. Find out what keeps planes in the air, how explorers survive in the South Pole, and how to make your own zoo. Mathematics breaks down number crunching in a way that won’t bore you to tears. Learn how to speak in outer space, how to break out of jail and how lottery numbers work.

February 2012

100 Most Important Science Ideas By Mark Henderson, Joanne Baker and Tony Crilly Published by Quercus Publishing (R205) Compelling, informative and thoughtprovoking, this book unravels the fundamental concepts at the heart of three of the most ground-breaking disciplines of science: genetics, physics and mathematics. In a series of 100 concise and accessible essays, the authors explain the answers to the most exciting and important scientific questions that have had a profound influence on our way of life and the world around us. Packed with helpful diagrams, everyday examples and enlightening quotations, this indispensable overview is ideal for anyone who wants to understand these often daunting but increasingly essential topics. magazine joburg

How to Destroy the Universe and 34 other really interesting uses of physics By Paul Parsons Published by Quercus Publishing (R145) If you want to get to grips with the science behind relativity, antigravity and parallel universes, or if you are really more interested in learning how to teleport, travel through time or achieve immortality, this is a great introduction to the astonishing world of modern physics. Find out how to save the planet from energy shortages by mining the vacuum of empty space, engineer the earth’s climate to reverse the effects of global warming and fend off killer asteroids. You’ll also learn survival skills such as how to live through a lightning strike, how to tough it out during an earthquake and how to fall into a black hole without being turned into spaghetti.

Top 10 of Everything 2012 By Caroline Ash and Alexander Ash Published by Hamlyn (R235) The bestselling book of lists is back, packed with fascinating facts that will astound, amuse and intrigue you. Discover which part of your body is most likely to be attacked by a shark. Find out which countries have the highest prison populations. Read which stadiums are the largest all over the world, which books are found in most libraries in the world, in which countries most televisions are sold and find out more about the most-visited galleries and museums. There are lists covering topics ranging from the universe and earth, music, life on earth, entertainment, the human world, the commercial world, town and country, things that move, culture and learning and sport. This is a fun book the whole family can enjoy.

for us When Your Blessings Don’t Count By Linda Lewis Published by Metz Press (R130) Written with profound empathy by a research psychologist, who not only specialises in postnatal distress (PND), but has also suffered from it, this book tells it like it is. PND is becoming more prevalent and it is estimated that one in three women may suffer from it. But PND can be overcome. In this book, Lewis shows you how to bring back the joy and happiness you thought you had lost forever. She helps you recognise the symptoms and gain an understanding of what is happening to you. She explains how you can deal with the misunderstanding and how to avoid long-term difficulties. Filled with positive suggestions based on personal experience, this book is an indispensable tool for recovery.

Great South African Teachers By Jonathan Jansen, with Nangamso Koza and Lihlumelo Toyana

inspi ratio nal read

Published by Bookstorm (R159) This book is a celebration of teachers who have struggled against great odds to give their students a chance of success. It’s a collection of tributes from people whose lives were changed by these remarkable teachers. The stories were sent in by South Africans in response to a call in the Sunday Times. They honour teachers who have changed lives through their passion for their subject, their dedication to the dignity of the teaching profession and, above all their determination to see the children in their classes succeed. The contributions reflect a full range of South African schools. Jansen, assisted by Koza and Toyana, introduces the stories with thought-provoking commentary on the lessons to be learnt from the tributes.

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Robots, Chips and Techno Stuff By Glenn Murphy Published by Macmillan Children’s Books (R85) Glenn Murphy, author of Why is Snot Green?, gives answers to questions about technology in this funny and fascinating book. How does a submarine sink? How can you stuff 1 000 CDs into an MP3 player and who built the internet? Packed to capacity with megabytes of marvellous information, this book explores everything from the first simple engines and machines to the latest gadgets, computers and networks. Included are puzzles, quizzes and experiments. Other projects are instructions on how to build your own electric telegraph, make your own “rubbish” telephone and your own 3D glasses.

February 2012

calendar

what’s on in february

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by Simone Jeffery.

11 sat

special events

FUN for children

only for parents

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Theatre workshop Learn drama from the experts at the National Children’s Theatre.

Underground Valentine’s Day Experience Valentine’s Day without roses and violins.

Moms and Babes support group New mothers can share their concerns and get advice.

Tops and Tags collection Recycle to make a difference for the disabled.

February 2012

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

The Tallest Man on Earth Enjoy the night listening to the beautiful and evocative melodies of this Swedish indie folk group.

magazine joburg

February 2012

calendar Matthews Great Hall, Unisa. Cost: R85– R160. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 wednesday Unisa Piano Competition Final See the best pianists perform with the Johannesburg Philharmonic Orchestra in the final round of the international piano competition. 31 January and 1, 3 and 4 February. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: ZK

4 sat

2 thursday World Wetlands Day Celebrate by popping into your local park or visiting the Treehaven Waterfowl Trust. Not far from Sandton and on 30 acres of wetland, one can view a large selection of indigenous and international waterfowl. There is a coffee shop for light refreshments. Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: Ring Rd, R82 (off the Old Johannesburg Rd), Vereeniging. Cost: free entry. Contact: 016 423 6740, treehaven@pixie.co.za or visit treehaven.co.za

4 saturday

Walk with dogs Grab the leash and take your socialised dog for a walk around Melville Koppies. You are welcome to join even if you don’t have a dog. No booking required. For children 6 and up. Time: 8am. Venue: park in 3rd Ave, off Arundel Rd, Westdene. Cost: R20, dogs are free. Contact: 011 482 4797, fomk@mk.org.za or visit mk.org.za

February 2012

Artists Under The Sun Art in all media is on display on the green lawns of Zoo Lake. Also 5 February. Time: 9am–4:30pm. Venue: cnr Jan Smuts Ave and Westwold Way, Zoo Lake, Saxonwold. Cost: free. Contact Val: 011 432 1482, artists.aus@mweb.co.za or visit artistsunderthesun.co.za Nocturnal family event The reserve comes alive at night with frogs and enthusiasts. Enjoy an informative talk about frogs with Warren Schmidt, author of Curious creatures – Reptiles & Amphibians of Southern Africa. Bookings essential. Time: 6pm. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, Galena Ave, between Topaz and Argent Ave, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R50, FroK

5 February – A search for reptiles

members R40, pensioners and children R25. Contact Karin or Steve: 079 693 5608, sspotty@pixie.co.za or visit kloofendalfriends.org.za Picnic under the stars Pack a picnic basket for an evening of Spanish music and dance. Mischief Guitar Duo is promoting their new album Spanish Rain. Space is limited. Time: 5:30pm. Venue: 1000 Meerlust Rd, Willowglen, Pretoria. Cost: R60. Contact Maria: 083 206 6328 or info@mlmontoya.com World Cancer Day In support of World Cancer Day why not host a Cuppa for Cansa? Have a tea party for your friends, family, and colleagues and ask each guest to make a donation. To register or for more info contact Cansa: 0800 22 66 22, drossouw@ cansa.org.za or visit cansa.org.za

5 sunday A search for reptiles Enjoy a stroll around the reserve while talking and looking for reptiles with Jens Reissig, a reptile specialist. Booking essential. Time: 2pm. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, Galena Ave, between Topaz and Argent Ave, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R50, FroK members R40, pensioners and children R25. Contact Karin or Steve: 079 693 5608 or visit kloofendalfriends.org.za Brunch cruise A day for the public to test the handling and performance of their motorbikes, with instructors on hand in case you have any questions. Closed shoes and jeans are recommended, while a jacket and helmet are compulsory. There is entertainment for children as well as refreshments available. No need to book.

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Time: 7am. Venue: Zwartkops Raceway, off the R55, Pretoria West. Cost: driver R350, passenger R50. Contact Elvéne: 012 374 5800, events@zwartkops.co.za or visit zwartkops.co.za Johannesburg City Kids’ Triathlon Children can participate either as part of a group or individually in the 300m swim, 5km cycle and 1,25km run. Time: 6:30am. Venue: Germiston Aquatics Club, Germiston Lake. Cost: individuals R150, groups R200. Contact Gavin: gavin@mayhemsports.org or visit joburgcitytriathlon.com Mountain Sanctuary Your guide leads you through the sanctuary for a one-day hike around the Magliesberg range with its spectacular rock formations and pools. The park offers a pub, a restaurant with picnic baskets, braai facilities and a swimming pool. Booking essential. Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: Mountain Sanctuary, Magaliesberg. Cost: tbc. Contact Rosa: 0861 522 262, info@jacanacollection.co.za or visit mountain-sanctuary.co.za

8 wednesday My Spar Lantern 10km night race and 5km fun run This is a very popular race and it is advisable to book online before 3 February so as to not miss out. Picnic spots are available. Time: registration opens 4pm; race starts 6:30pm. Venue: Irene Campus, ARC Centurion. Cost: 5km R36, 10km R46, temporary license R36. Contact: 012 654 0005 or visit entrytime.com

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12 sun

Loving our environment Meet

the

park’s

ambassador

animals and enjoy the day’s many activities. Children get R20 off the entrance fee to the Lory Park animal and bird haven if they bring a drawing of themselves in the environment. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: Lory Park, 181 Kruger Rd, President Park, Midrand. Cost: adults R60, children R40. Contact: 011 315 7307, info@lorypark.co.za or visit lorypark.co.za

10 friday Valentine’s Day baking A hands-on cooking and baking workshop for you and your little ones. You can be creative and learn new skills while bonding with your children. Suitable for children 2–12 years old. Time: 3pm; also 11 February 10am and 2pm. Venue: Tots n Pots Randburg, 12 Tony Place, Northwold. Cost: R150, includes a baking activity, craft activity, photo-recipe souvenir and fun surprises. Contact Tilana: 082 304 4491, tilana@ totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com

11 saturday Craft club Learn to transform your wardrobe in this informative three-hour workshop on the art of tye-dying and lino

printing. Bring along your own fabrics or garments. Booking essential. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Northriding. Cost: R350. Contact Melanie: 083 568 9150 or info@dyeandprints.co.za The Tallest Man on Earth live The up-and-coming indie folk group, The Tallest Man on Earth, is gracing the stage for one night only during their The Wild Hunt world tour. Lead singer Kristian Matsson uses his gravelly voice to create beautiful melodies with evocative lyrics. Time: 8pm. Venue: Joburg Theatre, cnr Simmonds St and Stiemens Rd. Cost: R275–R350. Contact: 0861 670 670 or visit joburgtheatre.com Wine, dine and dance Celebrate Valentine’s Day by dancing to live music under the stars in the piazza. Also

14 February. Time: 6pm. Venue: Irene Village Mall, cnr Nellmapius Dr and Van Ryneveld Ave, Irene. Cost: free. Contact: 012 662 4446, info@irenevillagemall.co.za or visit irenevillagemall.co.za

12 sunday Zoo trot This is a great way to keep fit and healthy while in the zoo’s tranquil surrounds. It is ideal for both serious runners and families. The trot consists of a 5km or 10km run or walk. Time: 7am–10am. Venue: Johannesburg Zoo, Jan Smuts Ave, Parkview. Cost: R35. Contact Sophia: 011 646 2000 ext: 221, sophia.mtshali@jhbzoo. org.za or visit johannesburgzoo.co.za

10 February – Valentine’s Day baking

February 2012

calendar

14 February – Echoes of Paris

14 tuesday Dinner in the Sky Take in the views of Fourways and its surrounds as you munch on breakfast, lunch or dinner at a table suspended 50 metres above the ground. No children under 10 allowed. Time: 9am–8pm. Venue: Cedar Square, cnr Cedar Ave and Willow Ave. Cost: R150–R525. Contact Hilary: 084 449 6040, hilary@ sky-events.co.za or book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Echoes of Paris Celebrate Valentine’s Day with music sung in the language of love. The evening consists of a performance of popular French street songs from Édith Piaf, Jacques Brel and more. Time: 8pm. Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison St and 13th St, Menlo Park. Cost: R325. Contact: 0861 MELODY (635 639) or visit brooklyntheatre.co.za Hyundai Balloon Enjoy a romantic sunset balloon ride and take in the panoramic views of Johannesburg, Sandton and the Magaliesberg. The ride is approximately 15 minutes and takes place throughout the day. Couples can make exclusive bookings. Time: 8am–8pm, daily. Venue: Montecasino Bird Gardens, cnr William Nicol Dr and Montecasino Boulevard, Fourways. Cost: adults R70, children R45, sunset ride R150 (includes a complimentary glass of sparkling wine). Contact Maxine: 011 511 0290, 083 626 1477 or visit montecasino.co.za The Titanic’s last dinner Le Canard has transformed itself to resemble the first-class dining salon of the Titanic, complete with a string orchestra and candelabra. Following the menu salvaged from the shipwreck,

an 11-course meal is served with wine and liqueurs to complement each dish. Dress is strictly formal; period costume is encouraged but not mandatory. Booking essential. Time: 7pm. Venue: Le Canard Restaurant, 163 Rivonia Rd, Morningside, Sandton. Cost: R750; includes dinner, entertainment, wines, gratuities and gifts. Contact: 011 884 4597, lecanard@icon. co.za or visit lecanard.co.za Underground Valentine’s Day For a less traditional Valentine’s Day, without carnations, red roses and gushy music, dine in Jozi’s trendy arts and culture precinct among the turbines of the city’s oldest power station. There is a choice of scrumptious courses and live jazz music for entertainment. The parking is underground and secure. Booking essential. Time: 7pm. Venue: Turbine Hall, 65 Ntemi Piliso St, Newtown. Cost: R285; includes a threecourse dinner and welcome drink. Contact Hazel: 087 310 3888 or turbinebookings@ theforum.co.za Valentine’s Candle Run For an out of the ordinary way to spend Valentine’s Day take part in the fun 5km or 8km candle run through the rose fields. Time: registration 4pm; race starts 6:30pm. Venue: Ludwig’s Roses, Wallmansthal, N1 North. Cost: 3km – adults R50, children R35; 8 km – R80 (pre-entries receive a meal voucher). Contact Anna-Marie or André: 082 954 9628, 082 490 5061 or visit entrytime.com Lovy – Loves You Charity Coaching Project Launching on 14 February, this project has been created to increase orphaned children’s self-esteem through

Living among the stars Spend an evening with Vincent Nettman learning how the universe began and the connection that stars have to the origins of humankind. Bring binoculars so you can participate in this laser-guided sky tour. Weather permitting, aperture telescopes are used to observe the stars. Bookings essential. Time: 5pm. Venue: Tumulus deck, Maropeng, on the R400, just off the R563 Hekpoort Rd. Cost: adults R190, children R90; includes presentation and dinner. Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za

25 sat

February 2012

magazine joburg

group therapy. On Lovy Day, celebrated on Valentine’s Day, workshops and group story times are held at various children’s homes and orphanages, and each child is given a Lovy Kit, which contains a book, cuddly toy and mirrors. Support the project with a minimum donation of R97, which pays for a Lovy Kit. For more info and account details: visit lovy-lovesyou.com

17 friday Beeld Holiday Show Beeld has arranged two exhibitions under one roof. You can see the latest in caravans, camping equipment, resorts and destinations, as well as everything that you would need for a motorbike. Stand a chance to win a Harley Davidson with your ticket. Ends 19 February. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Gallagher Convention Centre. Cost: adults R50, pensioners and students R30, children under 7 free. Contact: 083 488 8986, info@ vakansieskou.co.za or visit beeldshow.co.za

Learn about butterflies Walk around the reserve and learn about butterflies with Grant Egen. If you have a net bring it along, otherwise one can be provided. Butterflies are released after the talk. Booking essential. Time: 9am. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, Galena Ave, between Topaz and Argent Ave, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R50, FroK members R40, pensioners and children R25. Contact Karin or Steve: 079 693 5608, sspotty@pixie.co.za or visit kloofendalfriends.org.za

25 sat

18 saturday Walk and talk bats A walk with the Bat Interest Group that reveals more about these winged nocturnal mammals. Time: 6pm. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, Galena Ave, between Topaz and Argent Ave, Roodepoort. Cost: FroK members R30, non–members R40, children R20. Contact Karin or Steve Spottiswoode: 079 693 5608, sspotty@pixie.co.za or visit kloofendalfriends.org.za

19 sunday Bush food and drink Nurture your hunter-gatherer instincts with a walk around the reserve, collecting and identifying plants, which are prepared and enjoyed after the walk. Bookings essential. Time: 9am. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, Galena Ave, between Topaz and Argent Ave, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R50, FroK members R40, pensioners and children R25. Contact Karin or Steve: 079 693 5608, sspotty@pixie.co.za or visit kloofendalfriends.org.za

22 wednesday Master of intrigue and wonder Be amazed by the illusionary feats of Ilan Smith in his show Imagine. His sleight of hand, stand-up comedy and audience participation has entertained audiences around the world. No under 10s. 22, 23, 25, 26, 28 and 29 February and 1 March. Time: 8pm–10pm. Venue: The Fringe, Joburg Theatre, cnr Simmonds St and Stiemens Rd. Cost: R160. Contact: 0861 870 870 or visit joburgtheatre.com

23 thursday Homemakers Expo An expo offering everything you need to improve your home, from installing a pool to repaving

the driveway. There is a fun children’s area, products for green living and an interactive theatre for expert advice on your home. Ends 26 February. Time: 10am–7pm. Venue: Coca-Cola Dome, Northriding. Cost: adults R70, pensioners R40, children free. Contact: 0861 114 663 or jhb@ homemakersonline.co.za

25 saturday Deloitte Pretoria Marathon This marathon caters for everyone, starting with a 42km, 21km or fun 10km run or walk. The route makes its way over Klapperkop and then loops its way back to the start in Lynnwood. There is live music en route, as well as a beer garden, jumping castle and physiotherapists stationed at the clubhouse. Suitable for teenagers 15 years or older. Time: 6am. Venue: Pretoria High School Old Boys’ Club, Hofmeyr Park, cnr Kings Highway and Queens Crescent, Lynnwood. Cost: non-members R36 for the temporary license plus, 10km R46, 21km R57 and 42km R91. Contact Elise or Hennie: 083 267 0308, 072 312 3858 or visit entrytime.com

26 sunday Goldmine tour Explore Confidence Reef, the first goldmine on the Witwatersrand situated on the Kloofendal Nature Reserve, with goldmine historian Rod Kruger. Booking essential. Time: 2pm. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, Galena Ave, between Topaz and Argent Ave, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R50, FroK members R40, pensioners and children R25. Contact Karin or Steve: 079 693 5608, sspotty@pixie. co.za or visit kloofendalfriends.org.za

22 February – Master of intrigue and wonder

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29 wed

Pegasus, the flying horse Children can learn about the ancient Greek myth of Pegasus, narrated by Mia Farrow. It’s a story of bravery and transformation that traces the life of the winged horse. 29 February. Time: 2:25pm on KidsCo, DStv channel 308 and Toptv channel 255. For more info: visit dstv.com or toptv.co.za

Family fun day An action-packed day with jumping castles, raffles, face painting, food, and drink (no private picnics are allowed). The entrance fee includes free soccer coaching for the day and a friendly match. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: Crawford Preparatory, 16 Campbell Rd, Craigavon, Fourways. Cost: adults R10, children R5. Contact Joanne Fitzhenry: 011 465 1793, 082 330 5190 or joannea@opensky.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Art at Seedpod The Seedpod Studio offers adults and children mosaic and pewter workshops along with space to be creative. Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: The Seedpod Studio, Broadacres Garden Centre, Cedar Rd, Fourways. Cost: workshops vary; studio R60 per hour (excluding materials). Contact Jacqui: 011 465 0375, info@seedpodstudio.co.za or visit seedpodstudio.com Artjamming Art studio for children and adults. Time: 9am–5:30pm, Monday– Friday; 10am–3pm, Saturday–Sunday. Venue: Lonehill Shopping Centre or Blubird Shopping Centre, Athol. Cost: varies. Contact Lonehill: 011 465 5778 or Athol: 011 786 0599 or visit artjamming.co.za Color Café They supply the materials, you bring the imagination. Parents and children can paint a variety of ceramics together. Once you have completed your pottery, it is glazed and fired and ready for you to collect the following week. Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: Hyde Square Shopping Centre, cnr North Rd and Jan Smuts Ave, Hyde Park. Cost: varies. Contact: 011 341 0734, samanthas@vodamail.co.za or visit colorcafe.co.za

book for a whole programme, you can try one lesson and see if your child takes to it. Booking essential. Venue: Sandton. Cost: R95 per lesson. Contact Claire: 084 389 6814 or claireleighrocks@gmail.com. Learning to love food Cooking and baking are great ways to teach children about food. With these workshops you and your child are introduced to fun and creative recipes. 10 February–9 March. Time: tbc, Friday afternoon. Venue: Tots n Pots, Norscot Manor Recreation Centre, Fourways. Cost: R475. Contact Jotika: 083 265 5515 or visit totsnpots.com Theatre workshop Children can build their confidence and improve their communication skills through participating in productions and learning the techniques of the performing arts. For children 7–17 years. Time: 9:30am–12pm, Saturday. Venue: National Children’s Theatre, 3 Junction Ave, Parktown. Cost: tbc. Contact: 011 484 1584, admin@jyt.co.za or visit jyt.co.za

family outings Butterfly Garden You can view a beautiful garden of exotic butterflies set within a greenhouse on Ludwig’s rose farm. There are guided tours available at no extra cost. It is advisable to call ahead and ensure there are butterflies as their life cycle is only 14 days. Time: 8am–5pm, daily. Venue: Ludwig’s Roses, N1 highway, Wallmannsthal offramp. Cost: adults R35, children R22. Contact Melani: 012 544 0144, melani. hugo@gmail.com or visit ludwigsroses.co.za Emerald Animal World This zoo offers game drives to view the 88 animal species and an interactive farmyard. Time: 9am–4:30pm, daily. Venue: Emerald Resort and Casino, Frikkie Meyer Boulevard, Vanderbijlpark. Cost: adults R25, children R15. Contact: 016 982 8257, info@emeraldcasino.co.za or visit emeraldcasino.co.za Lindfield House Tours and tea are on offer at this restored Herbert Bakerdesigned house. Your guide and Victorian parlour maid, Katherine Louw, shows you around the house museum where she lives permanently. Booking essential. Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: 72 Richmond Ave, Auckland Park. Cost: R60. Contact: 011 726 2932 or visit thevictoriangarden.co.za Row boats, ducks and sun hats A wonderful way to spend an afternoon is to hire one of the boats at Zoo Lake and drift about the water, feeding the ducks along the way. Time: 9:30am–5pm, daily. Venue: Zoo Lake, cnr Jan Smuts Ave and West World St,

classes, talks and workshops Beginner guitar Learn the basics of guitar at a time convenient for you. No need to

February 2012

Beginner guitar

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Saxonwold. Cost: adults R10, children R7,50 per hour. Contact: 011 646 5803 Tepelkop Hiking Trail Spend a weekend exploring the flora of the Free State and marvel at the panoramic views that you encounter on the two-day hike around Tepelkop. On the first day you cover 12km to the base camp where you spend the night (bring a sleeping bag). The second day is relatively shorter at 8km. The climb is gradual and the hike is suitable for beginners. 25–27 February. Venue: Slabberts, near Bethlehem, Free State. Cost: tbc. Contact Rosa: 0861 522 262, info@jacanacollection. co.za or visit footprint.co.za

Antiques Fair

There are over 70 dealers sun selling art and collectables on the upper and lower levels of the quiet section of the mall. You can expect to find unique items. Time: 9am–4pm on the first Sunday of every month. Venue: Nelson Mandela Square. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 217 6001, nelsonmandelasquare@liberty.co.za or visit nelsonmandelasquare.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Cooper’s cave picnic Explore the 1,5-million-year-old fossil site. You are treated to an interactive talk and learn to make stone tools. Bring along a jersey, torch, hat, sunscreen, comfortable clothes, walking shoes and a camera. Time: 9am. Venue: Cooper’s Cave, near Sterkfontein Caves, Maropeng. Cost: R350, includes picnic lunch. Contact: 014 577 9000, website@maropeng.co.za or visit maropeng.co.za Guided hike in the Magaliesberg The hike winds up the foothills of the Magaliesberg offering views of the Hekpoort Valley. During the hike you explore quartzite formations and old battle fortifications. Minimum of two people. Booking essential. Time: 7am–6pm, daily. Venue: GoVertical’s Adventure office in Hekpoort, Magaliesberg. Cost: R280 for entrance fees and guide, R50 for an optional lunch. Contact Garth: 082 731 4696, backpackers@govertical.co.za or visit goverticalbackpackers.co.za Survive or Race the Adventure Take part in your own “reality show” where you might get roadblocked, sent on detours, have to decipher clue cards, or get voted out in the tribal council. There are braai facilities and a swimming pool available for after the challenge. Booking essential. For ages 6 and up. Time: 9am–3pm, daily. Venue: Pelindaba, Hartbeespoort Dam. Cost: adults R220, children R160. Contact Debbie: 082 895 2513, admin@surviveorrace.co.za or visit surviveorrace.co.za

markets Cedar’s Fresh Family Market Buy healthy fresh produce, jewellery and craft items. Time: 10am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Cedar Square, cnr Cedar Ave and Willow Ave. Cost: free entry. Contact: cedarsquare@purpleplumm.co.za Market on Main An urban market for delicious food and design. Time: 9am–2pm, every Sunday. Venue: 264 Fox St, CBD. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 245 1040, mabonengprecinct@gmail.com or visit artsonmain.co.za Neighbourgoods Market Browse a selection of local goods from fashion, jewellery, vintage items, children’s products and many more. Time: 9am–3pm, every Saturday. Venue: 73 Juta St, Braamfontein. Cost: free entry. Contact Willem: 082 370 4075, willem@neighbourgoodsmarket. co.za or visit neighbourgoodsmarket.co.za Walkerville Farmers Market Apart from stalls of unique crafts and fresh produce the market also has farm animals and offers pony rides and jungle gyms for the children. Time: 9am–3pm, every Saturday. Venue: 112 Main Rd, Walkerville. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 949 4266, info@wfmarket. co.za or visit wfmarket.co.za

Sunday carvery lunch The elegant sounds of guitar and marimba accompany your Sunday meal at the relaxed Tumulus Restaurant. The carvery includes a choice of two roasts, salads and desserts. Time: 12pm–4pm. Venue: Tumulus Restaurant, Maropeng, on the R400, just off the R563 Hekpoort Rd. Cost: R135. Contact: 014 577 9000, info@ maropeng.co.za or visit maropeng.co.za

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on stage and screen Dance Umbrella 2012 This festival celebrates contemporary dance. 17 February–4 March. Time: varies. Venue: Laager Theatre and Main Theatre, Market Theatre, 56 Margaret Mcingana St, Newtown. Cost: R100. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Material This heartwarming South African film emphasises the importance of family. The main character is a young Muslim man who works in his father’s fabric shop in Fordsburg until he discovers at an open mic session he has a hidden talent for comedy. Starring Riaad Moosa, Nic Rabinowitz and Mel Miller. Opens 17 February. Venue: all major cinemas. Cost: varies per cinema Mouk premiere An adventure series about a seven-year-old bear cub and

20 February – Show Me Show Me

February 2012

his two friends who travel the world to answer questions for his grandmother. 13 February. Time: 9:20am. On Disney Junior, channel 309 on DStv. For more info: visit dstv.com Show Me Show Me Join Chris and Pui in their magical playroom as they explore and investigate the world around them with their friends Miss Mouse and Teddington the teddy bear. 20 February. Time: 7:05am on CBeebies, channel 306 on DStv. For more info: visit dstv.com Yellowman This is a tragic modern day tale by US playwright Dael Orlandersmith about family feuds, young lovers and a community turning on itself. Suitable for children 13 years and older. Ends 5 February. Time: 3:15pm and 8:15pm. Venue: Market Theatre, 56 Margaret Mcingana St. Cost: R66–R140. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

playtime and story time Kid’s Traffic-land Learn road safety and traffic awareness while driving a batteryoperated vehicle in a mini city. Parents can enjoy refreshments as the little ones have fun around the track. For children aged 3–11 years. Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: Kids Traffic Land, Balfour Park Shopping Centre, shop 174 Highlands North, cnr Louis Botha and Johannesburg Rd. Cost: R50 for a two-year license and two 15-minute rides; thereafter R30 for 15 minutes, R50 for 30 minutes, R90 for one hour. Contact Pana: 073 329 8510, pana@kidztrafficland.co.za or visit kidztrafficland.co.za Larney Ladybirds Playdays Young and old can enjoy the Larney Ladybirds playdays. Relax and let the children blow off some steam in the outdoor play area with a climbing frame, sandpit, pool and scooter track. Parents can relax under the trees, so bring a blanket. For children aged 0–6 years. Time: 10am–4pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Larney Ladybirds Party Venue, Valley Rd, Broadacres. Cost: adults R25, children R15 (includes refreshments). Contact Bianca: 083 770 7702, bianca@larneyladybirds.co.za or visit larneyladybirds.co.za Olivedale Library story time Children between the age of 3–6 years can settle down for story time. Time: 10am, every Friday. Venue: Olivedale Library, President Fouche Dr, Olivedale. Cost: free. Contact: 011 462 6285

Paddle Pop Adventures Get your child in on the fun for a day of playing the popular Paddle Pop games. 18 and 19 February. Time: all day. Venue: Sandton City. Cost: free. For more info, downloads and online games: visit paddlepop.co.za

Acrobranch

sport and physical activities Acrobranch An outdoor obstacle course that offers three variations to cater for children and adults. Enjoy the zip lines, monkey bridges and Tarzan jumps. Suitable for children from 3 years. Venue: James and Ethel Grey Park, Melrose Arch. Cost: adults R150, teenagers R130, children 7–12 years R100, children 3–7 years R70. Contact: 078 438 7463, bookings@acrobranch.co.za or visit acrobranch.co.za Soccer coaching Yeesh! has partnered with Soccer Monsters to bring you soccer coaching at their indoor soccer pitch, with personalised attention for each child. Lessons are for one hour. Time: 3pm for

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children aged 3–4, 4pm for children aged 5–7. Venue: 5 Main Rd, Bryanston. Cost: R60. Contact: 011 463 5847, yeesh@ mweb.co.za or visit yeesh.co.za Tai Chi A martial art form from China that improves balance and reduces stress. Suitable for children 10 years and older. Time: 11:30am–12:30pm, every Sunday. Venue: Albert’s Farm, under the trees behind the jungle gym, cnr 10th and 6th Rd, Northcliff. Cost: R30. Contact Steve Kotze: 083 654 6547 or stevek817@gmail.com

15 February – Foundation drawing course

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only for parents classes, talks & workshops ADHD conference for educators This conference is presented by the Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Support Group of South Africa. It offers guidance on dealing with children with ADHD at school and at home to improve classroom and family relations. 25 and 26 February. Time: 8am–4:50pm. Venue: Exam Hall (next to the Linder Auditorium), Wits Education Campus, 27 St Andrews Rd, Parktown. Cost: R790. Contact: 011 888 7655, info@ adhasa.co.za or visit adhasa.co.za Childcare course Have your domestic worker trained on an accredited resultguaranteed childcare course to ensure your peace of mind when leaving your most “precious possessions” in your childminder’s care. 2 February–1 March. Time: 8:30am–2pm. Venue: Domestic Bliss, 235 Jan Smuts Ave, Parktown North. Cost: R1 800. Contact: 011 447 5517, 083 525 4992 or visit domesticbliss.co.za Developing your child’s fine motor coordination Learn to enhance your child’s fine motor skills through manipulating small objects, writing, cutting, painting and playing. The workshop is hosted by occupational therapist Francoise Harrison. 11 February. Time: 2pm–5pm. Venue: 157 2nd Rd, Chartwell. Cost: R275. Contact Christine: bellesangels@vodamail.co.za

Bone detectives: letting the ancestors speak

11 sat

Discover the history of the human species as a human origins expert guides you through the process of fossil identification with a look at fossil records and hominoid skeletal anatomy. The tour ends with a walk through the caves and a light picnic. Time: 9am. Venue: Sterkfontein Caves, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R350; includes the presentation, tour and picnic. Contact: 014 577 9000, website@maropeng.co.za or visit maropeng.co.za

Development course This practical course is designed to teach parents, caregivers and professionals to understand the different areas of development and developmental difficulties as well as how to stimulate children between 0–7 years to reach their full potential. Bookings essential. 6–8 February. Time: 8:30am–3pm. Venue: SA Toy Library Resource Centre, 3rd floor, CMI Building, 13 Joubert St Ext. Cost: R1 900; includes notes and refreshments. Contact Mpho: 011 642 2005, training@ sunshine.org.za or visit sunshine.org.za Foundation drawing course This course for teenagers and adults focuses on the foundation techniques of drawing figures and objects in charcoal, pencil and ink and includes an art history component. 15

February–4 April. Time: 6pm–9pm, every Wednesday. Venue: The Indigo Studio, Rivonia. Cost: R2 300. Contact Taryn: 082 904 3720, taryn@beelinestudio.co.za or visit thefineartsstudio.co.za Foundation oil painting course This course for teenagers and adults focuses on the traditional techniques of painting figures and objects in oils and includes an art history component. 11 February– 31 March. Time: 9am–1pm, every Saturday. Venue: The Indigo Studio, Rivonia. Cost: R2 760. Contact Taryn: 082 904 3720, taryn@thefineartsstudio.co.za or visit thefineartsstudio.co.za

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13,20 and 27 February –Siblings Without Rivalry

Fulfilling infant/parent relationships Have an interactive discussion with educational psychologist June Manala, touching on early experiences in bonding and attachment, infant neuroscience, and the importance of fathers and their emotions. 4 February. Time: 10am. Venue: Ngwenya Glass Village, off Beyers Naudé and R114, Muldersdrift. Cost: R75, includes tea/coffee, cake and a contribution to a charity. Contact Athalie: 083 285 8383 How To Talk So Kids Will Listen The goal of the course is to give practical, effective methods of communication that make your relationship with your children less stressful and more rewarding. 14, 21 and 28 February. Time: 9:30am–11:30am. Venue: Jabula Recreation Centre, Sandringham. Cost: R870; can claim from medical aid. Contact Wendy: 011 454 1709 or 082 292 7999 Inner and outer confidence A morning with a life coach, an image consultant, fitness expert and dietician. They share tips on the latest fashion trends, dressing for your body type and eating right. 4 February. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: tbc. Cost: R250; includes a goodie bag. Contact Jacqui: 082 598 1264 or jacqui@fullife-coach.com Nature’s Children This workshop touches on the effects of nutrition on your children, setting healthy eating habits and discussing

their core life lessons. 4 February. Time: 9am. Venue: tbc in Fourways. Cost: R450. Contact: natureschildren@vodamail.co.za New year, new you With a new year comes new possibilities. This is an inspiring and empowering workshop to assist you in looking at your life holistically and to focus on your future plans. 25 February. Time: 8:30am–4:30pm. Venue: Stillpoint Country Haven, Chartwell. Cost: R600; including lunch and refreshments. Contact Jacqui: 082 598 1264, jacqui@fullife-coach.com or visit fullife-coach.com Siblings Without Rivalry Learn the skills to reduce friction and help your children get along. Topics include: what can you do when fighting breaks out between children; and keeping children separate and equal. 13, 20 and 27 February. Time: 9:30am–11:30am. Venue: Jabula Recreation Centre, Sandringham. Cost: R870; can claim from medical aid. Contact Wendy: 011 454 1709 or 082 292 7999 Sunshine Association: Start course This Start course (Strive Towards Achieving Results Together) is for parents, caregivers and professionals who deal with children with intellectual, developmental and physical disabilities. For those working with children between 0–7 years old. Booking essential. 6–8 February. Time: 8:30am–3:30pm. Venue: CMI Building, 3rd floor, 13 Joubert St Ext, Braamfontein. Cost: R2 200; includes booklets and certification. Contact Mpho: 011 642 2005, training@ sunshine.org.za or visit sunshine.org.za The Bridge transformational workshop This two-day workshop aims to transform your life so that you are able to do away with negative thought patterns. Booking essential. 4–5 and 18–19 February. Time: 8:30am–5pm. Venue: Buccleuch, Sandton. Cost: R650. Contact Laurinda: 076 135 7601, bridgetranswork@gmail. com or visit bridgetranswork.webs.com The Importance of Appropriate Sensory Integration An informative workshop about getting your child to

25 sat

Open day at the Michael Mount Waldorf School A chance for you to meet the teachers, find out more about Waldorf education and go on a tour of the school. 25 February. Time: 9:30am. Venue: park at the Bryanston entrance on Culross Rd, Michael Mount Waldorf School, Bryanston. Cost: free. Contact Karin: 011 706 6125 or visit michael-mount.co.za

February 2012

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register and interpret information from the sensory system (hearing, smell, touch, taste and sight). Hosted by occupational therapist Francoise Harrison. 25 February. Time: 2pm–5pm. Venue: 157 2nd Rd, Chartwell. Cost: R275. Contact Christine: bellesangels@vodamail.co.za

on stage and screen American Anthems America’s most iconic rock songs are featured in this rock musical performance about a search for a legendary rock star who disappeared in the early 90s at the height of his fame. They track him across America to bring him back for one last concert. Starts 21 February. Time: 2pm, 5pm and 8pm. Venue: The Joburg Theatre, cnr Simmonds St and Stiemens Rd. Cost: R120–R230. Contact: 0861 670 670 or visit joburgtheatre.com Body Language A reality comedy show in which your body becomes the subject of humour and ridicule. Gaëtan Schmid looks into the language of the human body, the meaning behind everyday gestures, and its social importance. 1–4 February. Time: 8:15pm. Venue: Old Mutual Theatre on the Square, West St, Sandown. Cost: R80. Book through Strictly Tickets: 0861 225 598 or visit theatreonthesquare.co.za

1–4 February – Body Language

Gilan Gork: Beyond the Mind Mentalist Gilan Gork is set to blow your mind with illusions that leave you speechless and wanting more. 7–11 February. Time: 8:15pm. Venue: Old Mutual Theatre on the Square, West St, Sandown. Cost: R160. Book through Strictly Tickets: 082 553 5903 or visit theatreonthesquare.co.za Il Divo The popular quartet of pop/opera crossover singers, Il Divo, were recently named “artists of the decade” at the Classic Brit Awards. Enjoy their original sound with the backing of an orchestra. 10 February at the Big Top Arena, Carnival City; 11 February at the Sun City Superbowl. Time: 8pm. Cost: R320–R735. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com International Mozart Festival The annual classical music event celebrates the much-loved artist’s work with symphony, chamber, solo, and choral concerts across Johannesburg. 1–19 February. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: varies. Cost: R30–R190. Contact: 011 447 9264 or visit join-mozartfestival.org magazine joburg

1–19 February – International Mozart Festival

Johannesburg Philharmonic Orchestra Season one of the orchestra is a collection of well-known, much-loved compositions performed by them and a selection of talented soloists and conductors from around the world. The concert changes weekly. Starts 8 February. Time: 8pm, Wednesday and Thursday. Venue: Linder Auditorium, 27 St Andrews Rd, Parktown. Cost: tbc. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000, info@jpo.co.za, or visit computicket.com or jpo.co.za Lunch hour classical concerts Enjoy a classical lunch hour with Neo Motaste on violin and Dianne Coutts on piano. They play works by Vivaldi, Bach and Massenet. 3 February. Time: 12:45pm. Venue: Old Mutual Theatre on the Square, West St, Sandown. Cost: R30, includes coffee and biscuits. Book through Strictly Tickets: 0861 22 5598 or visit theatreonthesquare.co.za The Hollies The legendary Hollies are celebrating their 50th anniversary with a world tour. They are performing all their hits, including “Air that I Breathe”, “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” and more. 25 February. Time: 8pm; 26 February 3pm. Venue: Big Top Arena, Carnival City. Cost: R160–R460. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com The Mousetrap This Agatha Christie classic keeps you on the edge of your seat. The Mousetrap is one of the most skillfully written murder mysteries ever produced. 1–5, 8–12 and 14–26 February. Time: 8pm–10:40pm. Venue: Pieter Toerien Theatre, Montecasino Boulevard. Cost: R75–R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 6000 or visit computicket.com The Phantom of the Opera Get swept away by the romantic scores of the incredible musical, The Phantom of the Opera. Follow the disfigured musical genius, the Phantom, as he haunts the Paris Opera house and falls in love with Christine Daaé. 31 January–22 April. Time: varies, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: Teatro, Montecasino Boulevard, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd. Cost: R125–R425. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Woza Albert This lively theatre production is a satire on apartheid and asks the question: “What would happen if Jesus Christ came back to South Africa during apartheid?” The production stars two actors who take on a range of characters to highlight the absurdities of that regime. No children under 7 years old. 2–9 February. Time: 3:15pm and 8:15pm. Venue: Market Theatre, 56 Margaret Mcingana St. Cost: R66. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com February 2012

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out and about

playtime and story time

Candice Breitz exhibition This exhibition of Candice Breitz’s work deals with the concepts of identity and selfformation. Candice has inserted herself into scenes from Generations, sometimes subtly, other times absurdly, to create a series of thought-provoking visuals. 8 February–5 April. Time: 8am–4:30pm, Monday–Friday; 9am–1pm, Saturday. Venue: Standard Bank Gallery, cnr Simmonds St and Frederick St. Cost: free. Contact: 011 631 4467, sue.isaac@standardbank.co.za or visit standardbankgallery.co.za Dainfern open day Meet the teachers and view the facilities of Dainfern College. The co-educational college caters for Grade 0–12 learners. 2 February. Time: 9am–10am. Venue: Dainfern College, Broadacres Dr, Dainfern. Cost: free. Contact Caroline: 011 469 0635, cgrobbelaar@dainferncollege. co.za or visit dainferncollege.co.za Design Indaba Conference Young designers have an opportunity to watch the live broadcast of the three-day Design Indaba Conference taking place in Cape Town, hosting 30 local and international speakers. 29 February–2 March. Time: 8:30am–5pm. Venue: University of Johannesburg, Arts Centre, cnr Kingsway Rd and University Rd, Auckland Park. Cost: R950–R1 130. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000, or visit computicket.com Kingsmead College open day A chance for you to view the facilities and meet the teachers of Kingsmead College’s Junior and Senior school. 2 February. Time: 8:30am–1pm for Junior School (Grade 000 to Grade 7); 3pm–5pm for Senior School (Grade 8 to Grade 12). Venue: 132 Oxford Rd, Melrose. Cost: free. Contact: 011 731 7356 or visit kingsmead.co.za Learning Point High School Options Expo High schools (state and independent) are available in the hall to answer questions regarding your child’s future education. Each is unique in its approach. 1, 8, 15, 21 and 22 February. Time: 2pm–6pm. Venue: various high schools across Johannesburg. Cost: free. Contact Donna: 083 552 8778, dkevents@ mweb.co.za or visit thelearningpoint.co.za Moonlight dinners Enjoy a romantic evening with your loved one under the stars. Booking essential. Time: 6pm, every Friday. Venue: Toadbury Hall, Beyers Naudé Dr, Elandsdrift. Cost: R450 per couple, includes a three-course meal. Special hot-air ballooning packages available for Valentine’s Day. Cost: R3 160 per person; includes dinner, bed and breakfast. Contact: 079 512 0554, enquiries@toadbury.co.za or visit toadbury.co.za.

Grannies Garden A play venue with indoor and outdoor areas. Children can dress up, create crafts, bake, run around outside or play Nintendo Wii. A restaurant is available. Time: 10am–5pm, Monday– Friday; 9am–5pm, Saturday–Sunday. Venue: 138 Barkston Drive, Blairgowrie. Cost: Monday–Thursday R15 per hour; Friday–Sunday R30 per hour. Contact: 011 326 4265, info@granniesgarden.co.za or visit granniesgarden.co.za Serendipity story time Open up the imagination and get lost in a world of words with the weekly story time. Time: 3:30pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Serendipity, 48 Keyes Ave, Rosebank. Cost: entrance fee R45 for two hours, story time included. Contact: 011 447 7386, serendipityplay@ gmail.com or visit serendipityplay.co.za

Bambinos An indoor play zone and coffee bar suitable for children under 10 years with agespecific play areas. Venue: Bambinos, 5 Star Junction, cnr Beyers Naudé Dr and Juice St, Roodepoort. Cost: R40 for two hours. Contact: 079 182 4060, info@ bambinosplayzone.co.za or visit bambinosplayzone.co.za

support groups Play, Ritual and Inspiration exhibition Women from across South Africa have compiled a collection of dolls representing Basotho, Bapedi, Tsonga and Xhosa examples. The dolls, which are used for play, rituals or inspiration, date back to the mid-20th century. 1–18 February. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Johannesburg Art Gallery, Joubert Park Gardens, King George St. Cost: free. Contact Tiny: 011 725 3180, tinym@joburg.org.za or visit joburg.org.za Swartkrans walking tour This is a special tour to an active palaeontological dig. The earliest evidence of controlled fire in Southern Africa, dating back one million years, was discovered at this site. 18 February. Time: 9am. Venue: Sterkfontein Caves, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R350. Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za The Art of Happiness: 13 An exhibition of 13 South African illustrators, printers and painters whose work captures life with joy and humour. 10–29 February. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: Upstairs @ Bamboo, cnr of Rustenburg Rd and 9th St, Melville. Cost: free. Contact Vanessa: 011 726 1701 or visit bamboo-online.co.za The Dutch Collection An historical collection of naturalistic artwork from the Dutch Republic, dating back to 1947. The exhibition is of artwork in various media, including original etchings by Dutch and Flemish artists. 1 February–31 March. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Johannesburg Art Gallery, Joubert Park Gardens, King George St. Cost: free. Contact: 011 725 3180 or khwezig@joburg.org.za

1–22 February – Learning Point High School Options Expo

February 2012

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Antenatal workshop An interactive class dealing with the most pertinent antenatal topics. The two-day workshop equips you with information to help you make informed choices about birthing methods, where to give birth and breast-feeding. 11 and 12; 25 and 26 February. Time: 8:30am–4pm. Venue: Mother Instinct. Cost: R1 400, includes breakfast, lunch and refreshments. Contact: 011 791 0286 or visit motherinstinct.co.za BabyGym A five-week course in which you learn how to stimulate your baby and encourage brain development. Learn how to help your baby reach their milestones and prevent future learning problems. Suitable for babies 2 weeks–1 year. 16 and 23 February. Time: 11am–12pm. Venue: The Children’s Therapy Centre, Petervale. Cost: R630. Contact Joanne: 083 303 1190, joanne.bradley@babygym.co.za or visit babygym.co.za Breast-feeding workshop An in-depth workshop to remove your uncertainties about breast-feeding. 4 and 5 February. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Mother Instinct. Cost: R350 per couple; includes course material, refreshments and telephonic support. Contact: 083 301 2826, lsayce@ gmail.com or visit motherinstinct.co.za Learn to massage your baby A fourweek course where you learn how to soothe colic, sleep and bonding issues with massage. Suitable for moms and babies 2 weeks–1 year. 9, 16 and 23 February. Time: 11am–12pm. Venue: The Children’s Therapy Centre, Petervale. Cost: R470. Contact Joanne: 083 303 1190 or joannebradley@global.co.za Pregnancy yoga Connect with your partner and baby through yoga. Partners are shown tricks on how to support and nurture their pregnant partner. Time: 5:30pm, every Monday. Venue: 39–41 St Alban Ave, Craighall Park. Time: 10:30am, every Tuesday. Venue: the Ishta Yoga Centre, 121 Atholl Rd, Athol. Cost: R90 per class. Contact: 083 229 3253, theoni@consciousbirth.co.za or visit consciousbirth.co.za

ADHD Support Group Contact: 011 888 7655, support@adhasa.co.za or visit adhasa.co.za Bedwetting support group 8am–5pm, Monday–Friday. Contact: 083 289 6640 Child Emergency Services 0800 123 321 Deaf Federation of South Africa For assistance, consultants and advice on deaf education. Contact: 011 482 1610, deafeducation@deafsa.co.za or visit deafsa.co.za Johannesburg Bipolar Support Association Support to people suffering from mood disorders. Contact Linda: 011 485 2406 or visit bipolar.co.za La Leche League Breast-feeding support group. For more info: visit llli.org

La Leche League

Moms and Babes support group A group for new or expectant moms, where you share your concerns, and get advice concerning baby care and breast-feeding. Time: 10:30am–1pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Mother Instinct. Cost: R60 per visit. Contact Laura: 083 301 2826 or lsayce@gmail.com The Family Life Centre Provides assistance to families and individuals in need of counselling. Contact: 011 788 4784/5, famlife@iafrica.com or visit familylife.co.za People Opposing Women Abuse (Powa) Contact: 011 642 4345/6 or visit powa.co.za magazine joburg

it’s party time

Poison control Contact: 0800 333 4444 Postnatal Depression Support Association of South Africa Contact: 082 882 0072, help@pndsa.org.za or visit pndsa.org.za SAPS Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences Unit (FCS) Contact: 011 403 3413 South African Centre for missing and exploited children For the tracing and recovery of missing children. Contact: 012 393 2002, missing.hq@saps.co.za or visit missingkids.co.za The Teddy Bear Clinic Provides therapy, counselling, assistance and support to children and parents who have been abused. Contact: 011 484 4554 or visit ttbc.org.za Vaccine helpline Contact: 0860 160 160

how to help Bigshoes Foundation Specialist paediatric services and palliative care is provided to children between 0–18 years in children’s homes. You can help through monetary donations, making them a beneficiary on your My School/My Village card, or by donating items on their wish list. Contact Maxine: 011 484 0793 or visit bigshoes.org.za Breast Milk Banking Donate your extra breast milk to help save the lives of babies. Contact Stasha at The SA Breast Milk Reserve: 011 020 0348 or visit sabr.org.za

looking ahead Hobby–X Covering a multitude of hobbies, from the extreme to the sedate, one can interact in hands-on workshops, learn tips and tricks in the creative theatre and win prizes. 2–4 March. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: CocaCola Dome, Northriding. Cost: adults R50, children R20. Contact: 0861 462 299 (HOBBY X), info@expotrends.co.za or visit hobby-x.co.za Landy Festival The first of its kind in South Africa, you can expect an action-packed weekend incorporating an expo of Land Rovers, plus related services and accessories. Spend the night camping on the reserve and join in on the attempt at a Guinness World Record for the most Land Rovers in a

Dinner of Hope Register your dinner venture and raise money for the Starfish– Greathearts Foundation, a non-profit organisation helping children with HIV/ Aids. Once registered you receive a host pack with everything you need to get started. The dinner can be held at a venue of your choice for two people or 200. Encourage guests to make a contribution of any amount. Contact: 011 259 4000 or visit starfishcharity.org Kirsty Watts Foundation Offer assistance with the foundation’s various active projects. Contact: 011 706 8777, info@kirstywattsfoundation.org.za or visit kirstywattsfoundation.org.za Knit-a-Square Help disadvantaged children across South Africa by contributing brightly coloured 20cm x 20cm knitted squares. After you cast off, leave a one metre length of yarn so the squares can be joined to create blankets. They also welcome warm clothes, stationery and soft toys. Send squares to: Soweto Comfort Club, Private Bag X900, Bryanston, 2021. Contact Ronda: 011 465 2922 or visit knita-square.com Tops and Tags collection Collect bottle tops and bread tags for recycling. Interwaste do the recycling and use the money to buy wheelchairs for charities and individuals. Drop-off boxes can be arranged for your community centre, school or business. Venue: drop-off box cnr Avocet and Bromhof Rd, Bromhof, Randburg. Cost: free. Contact Sibongile: 011 792 9330 or visit interwaste.co.za

convoy on Sunday. There is a paddle pool and snack stalls. 3–4 March. Venue: Malonjeni Game Farm, R42 between Vereeniging and Heidelberg, Vaal Triangle. Cost: day visit R50; camping: adults R150, children under 16 R75, children under 12 free. Contact: 016 424 5932, bookings@malonjeni.co.za or visit landyfestival.co.za Sting Back to Bass Sting is celebrating the 25th anniversary of his solo career. He performs all the hits spanning his solo career as well as a selection of hits from The Police. 24–25 March. Time: 8pm. Venue: Coca-Cola Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, Northriding. Cost: R395–R770. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or computicket.com

2–4 March – Hobby–X

don’t miss out! For a free listing, email your event to joburg@childmag.co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971. Information must be received by 3 February for the March issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

magazine joburg

February 2012

itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s party time continued...

February 2012

magazine joburg

February 2012

last laugh

lessons from an anti-stoic SAM WILSON says there’s no need for a stiff upper lip when you’re bedridden and have family around to perform random acts of kindness.

have a dodgy lower back and every so often a particularly problematic disc herniates and I find myself confined to bed for a week, looking like an acupuncturist’s pincushion. Yes I know, I need to get serious about Pilates... and I will, okay? As soon as I stop being defensive. I have a bag of frozen peas on my back and two solicitous sons reading next to me as I write this. I’ve been here all week. They come and go. Working through the five stages of whininess (faked bravery, low moaning, why me’ing, light sobbing and violent cabin fever), I feel I have come to an important parenting realisation. Actually, I don’t know if it’s important, it just works for me, so I’m going to say it in print with some gravitas and hope you buy it. There is no need to be stoic in front of your

February 2012

children. In fact, stoicism may be bad for your children. I informed my very own sons of this theory not two minutes ago, when I came up with it. “I thought Stoicism was a Greek school of guys who believed in self-control above all else,” said Josef puzzled. “I don’t see how that fits here.” I retorted, “And I thought that the schooling system was supposed to be slipping, which clearly doesn’t fit here.” Benj, as ever, jumped to the rescue. “I see what she means. Mom is like the opposite of a stoic. She has no self-control. Every time we come to see how she is, she’s moaning about something new: her back hurts, her pills aren’t working, her water is too far away, why don’t we have any chocolate...” I would have bristled, but that may have hurt, or disturbed my intricate pillow

arrangement. “There is such a thing as over-proving a point, Benj, but hold that thought about the chocolate; I want you to take it up with Dad later.” He had the gist of it, of course. I get really cranky when I am bedridden, as I can’t stand not being in control, or at least at the centre of things, in my family. In these prone weeks, the power dynamics shift, and the boys are soon performing random acts of awesomeness without even noticing. They bring toast, tea, Nik Nak sandwiches (don’t knock them till you’ve tried them), ice packs and fresh-faced, smiley company. And it shines up my heart no end. While stoicism may be a good trait to have in the army, it’s not necessarily a good one to have in a family. Families are about pooling your resources – physical and emotional – and helping the ones who are having trouble. It’s about learning

to let people know how you feel, and knowing how to listen. It’s about learning how to ask, when loved ones have to give, and understanding the importance of that underlying balance. I usually emerge from these weeks of enforced bed rest with not only my sheepish Pilates resolutions, but energy and strength drawn from the tender way my family treats me when I am in need; and clear of any resentment, because I got to be just as needy as I needed to be. I think more children, especially sons, should learn first-hand – preferably in small doses – that moms can also need kid gloves sometimes, and chocolate. Now, where did Benj go? Sam Wilson is the digital editor at Woolworths. She was lying when she said she’d finished with the five stages of whininess. She’s still in stage three.

magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth

Joe, Sam and Benj