Child Magazine | Joburg November 2011

J O H A N N E S B U R G ’ S bes t gu i d e f or p aren t s

thumbs up! raising positive children

is your child getting enough?

retail therapy

festive family markets

essential nutrients for all ages and stages

underage stress what’s causing it?

www.childmag.co.za

November 2011

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health

education

entertainment

Hunter House

My oldest daughter, Julian, was an outgoing, exuberant and hugely energetic toddler.

She kept me on the run to such an extent that I was sorely tempted to buy a toddler-taming harness.

P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • joburg@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za Alys Suter • studio1@childmag.co.za Samantha Summerfield • studio2@childmag.co.za

Advertising Director Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

Renee Bruning • renee@childmag.co.za Natasia Cook • natasia@childmag.co.za

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But instead, I gave in to running after her, losing weight but never my child. Fastforward several years: Julian is now an adolescent and I am again tempted to employ the help of a harness – a teenagesized one. I don’t consider myself overly protective, but in a world of underage drinking, drugs and dodgy party venues, I yearn to keep her close to keep her safe.

Thankfully, she has an amazing group of friends, many from when she was in fact a toddler, and they seem to keep each other safe and on an even keel. Over weekends our home overflows with teenagers from the surrounding suburbs. They drink gallons of ice tea and commandeer the pool, the TV and the music system. And I thought

it was just the toddler years that required vast reserves of energy with a good dose of patience.

The upside to parenting a teenager is that I’ve had years to hone my sense of humour.

As cute and entertaining as toddlers may be, it’s teenagers who have the monopoly on funny – Trevor Noah has nothing on them.

Boy, is it great to be the mom of a teenager!

If you love the magazine you’ll love our website. Visit us at childmag.co.za

Helen Xavier • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Helen Xavier • helen@childmag.co.za Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

Joburg’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 5, First Floor, Bentley Office Park, cnr Rivonia and Wessel Rd, Rivonia. Tel: 011 807 6449, fax: 011 234 4971, email: joburg@childmag.co.za.

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November 2011

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contents

november 2011

46

upfront 3

a note from lisa

6 over to you

readers respond

16 reader’s blog

Charles Starling has made up his mind: he is not a hamster man 23 dad’s blog

Marc de Chazal‘s daughter impressed him when she made the mature call to not drink at a party

46 saving up for a bigger pig

Lucy Olden gives advice on how to teach your children to save money

27 mom’s blog

48 raise media-savvy cyber citizens

Anél Lewis will not succumb to milestone comparisons

features

health

20 manage your child’s stress

children should learn to be responsible citizens in the digital playground. By Marc De Chazal

ow can you help your children deal h with stress? Glynis Horning looks for the answers

12 pressure test

Jessica-A’isha Mouneimne looks at pre-eclampsia

24 positive proof

14 managing malaria

Joanne Lillie explains positive parenting and what it entails

28 fun and games

regulars

Christina Castle reminds us of good old-fashioned games that don’t need electronic devices

8 wins

30 looking ahead

retirement needs excellent planning.

Ruwaydah Lillah states the facts

32 is your child getting enough?

Tamlyn Vincent looks at which vitamins and minerals your child needs at every stage

17 upfront with paul

teach your children the value of money very early, says Paul Kerton 18 dealing with difference

Vanessa Papas explains what a central auditory processing disorder is

52 resource – gone shopping

34 it could happen to your child

Malaria can be life-threatening.

Tamlyn Vincent gives advice on how to prevent it

recreational drug abuse is on the rise among teens. Dee Koch investigates

a guide to fun, family-friendly markets as well as special Christmas fairs.

Compiled by Simone Jeffery

38 when it all falls apart

58 a good read

Fiona Ronquest-Ross suffered from postnatal depression. She shares her story

new books for the whole family

62 what’s on in november

40 ‘tis the season for giving

82 last laugh

not sure what teacher’s gift to

get? Here are some suggestions from Ideas Gifts

Sam Wilson is a good loser. And she’s okay with that

44 help, i’m jealous of

my stepchildren

Chareen Boake candidly tells her personal story

classified ads 73 family marketplace 78 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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Cape Town

Johannesburg

Durban

shutterstock.com

Kiids Boutique 021 762 8935

Mr Price www.mrprice.co.za

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over to you

on our facebook page in response to the website article “creating family traditions” We all have fond memories of childhood traditions and rituals, things that keep us sane and things that helped build us to be the best we can be with a strong sense of family and belonging.

It is so profound and it makes one consider that simple things are exactly what children need most – and it does build memories to carry us when we’re older. They take us to that “happy place of childhood”, especially when we need something to hold onto.

Norah Papanicolaou in response to the website article “bullying – the parent’s guide” My niece witnessed a violent attack, using a knuckle-duster, on a girl at school by another girl. This bully is now targeting her. These things are not taken lightly. A case has been opened with the police, and the principal has been informed and is taking the necessary steps. Children should not be subjected to violence in schools. Stand together and fight against bullying.

Anonymous

triple joy Your recent article on multiples, “overnight sensation” (Child Magazine, October 2011), brought back such wonderful memories. My triplets, Vicky-May, Travis and Jethro, were born 10 weeks premature in December 1998, weighing between 1,06kg and 1,14kg. They are now teenagers and what a milestone. I often find myself having to look twice and wonder where the years have gone.

It seems like just yesterday we were selling our station wagon for a Kombi to be able to cram in all the prams, gyms and nappy bags. Now that same car is crammed with friends, school bags, tog bags and cricket kits.

I must agree with your article about sticking to routine.

When they were babies we had charts monitoring their feeds, nappy changes and sleeping patterns. This made it so much easier as, with them being so small, each feed had to be monitored. My husband was (and still is) a very hands-on dad, so we shared the chores and this made things so much easier. Even today, with them being almost 13, we still have our routines.

We are currently transferring all our videos to DVD and having such fun watching the old movies. The children are especially amazed at how small they were.

If I had to relive my life, I would ask for triplets again.

They are my absolute joy. Their bond with each other is incredible and every day I am grateful for their love and, as Jethro would say, “their total awesomeness”.

Tracey Middleton

exercise for a good cause My exercise regime involves a high-speed walk around my neighbourhood every weekday. I have been doing this for years. About three years ago, I added another dimension to my walks. I started greeting everyone I passed, usually in my limited Zulu. I receive the most heart-warming responses to my greetings and I am now a passionate ambassador for the Stop Crime, Say Hello campaign (visit sayhello.co.za).

About a month ago, I added a third dimension to my walks. I started taking plastic bags and picking up the litter on my route. When I first started, I was picking up three bags of litter a day. This morning, I collected only half a bag. Recycling what I collect is also on my agenda.

The litter collection has added about seven extra minutes to my exercise regime and about a hundred squats, which can only be good for me.

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I firmly believe in the “broken windows” theory – that poorly maintained areas attract crime while neat and well-maintained areas discourage it. Almost every day I hear people complaining that the government is not doing enough about the crime in our country, but what are we doing? Apart from anything else, it is incredibly satisfying to do something that makes a difference, no matter how small that something may be.

Georgina Steele

I chose to sort out the lounge/dining area first. Within an hour, we had moved two items of furniture, cleared a cupboard, sorted items into three piles, and voilà… I had a huge amount of space. I bought storage baskets and these now keep the children’s games neatly accessible at all times. People who have visited my home since cannot believe that a mom with two children, aged three and nine, and who works from home, can have such a neat house. The children are happy and Dad is thrilled, as he no longer has to listen to our moaning.

Carol Rasmussen

small can be big I read your article on dwarfism, “we all start out small” (Child Magazine, September 2011), and I want to share my story. When I was still in school, I was friends with a dwarf. Roland Styles was very short but other than that, he was the same as all of us. We were all different in various ways and his height was just how he was different. He was very popular and everyone liked him.

He had a special chair to sit on during classes and some of the bigger boys would help him carry it around.

Because of his small hands, he was given more time to write tests and exams. His parents treated him just like any other child and they bought him a little motorbike when all his friends got motorbikes when they turned 16.

I believe the little boy being written about in the article will grow up to be a happy and contented child who is not teased.

Jenny

swimming for life My daughter, Jordyn, started swimming at 10 months and soon became a water baby. The intense passion of her teacher was so evident, and it was an indescribable pleasure to watch my child learning to swim. If it weren’t for her good teacher, we certainly would not have a little girl who loves water so much. Swimming lessons should be a priority on each family’s list.

Leigh Dean

five generations of “awesome” It doesn’t happen every day and it doesn’t happen to everyone. In our family, there are five generations of awesome women. The day my daughter came home from hospital with my second grandchild, we all got together to welcome her. It was at this gathering that we realised that there were five generations of women in one room. I know quite a few people who have never had the chance to meet their grandparents, let alone great grandparents. So, when you have the chance to meet your great-great grandmother, it’s pretty awesome.

Karen Meyer

happy nanny I’m a nanny and I love your magazine. It teaches me so much each month as I work with babies and toddlers.

So, big congratulations to you.

Thabile Mbatha

chuck the clutter Your article on reorganising your home, “declutter!”

(Child Magazine, September 2011), caught my eye and I immediately set up an appointment with a professional organiser. I cannot thank Child Magazine enough for initiating this thought, as it has truly turned my life around.

branded clothing a no-no I wanted to buy my six-year-old son pyjamas but almost every pair was branded with Ben 10, Spider-Man or some kind of wrestling character.

As for girls, it is almost impossible to find clothing that is a) not pink, b) not covered in sequins, hearts or flowers and c) is not branded with Barbie, Bratz or some other inappropriate character. The boutique clothing can be nice, but it is outrageously priced and often not suited for playing in the park. As a result, I dress my two-yearold daughter in her brother’s old clothes, and, when she needs something new, I usually buy her something in the boys’ section. Readers might also be interested to know that in the UK, retailers have been banned from selling inappropriate attire that sexualises children.

Linda van de Vijver Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag and facebook.com/childmag.co.za

write to us Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to: marina@childmag.

You can also post a comment online at

childmag.co.za

co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

letters

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wins

giveaways in november

in time for summer Nivea Sun’s new Kids Swim & Play Protection Lotion SPF 50+ for face and body offers maximum protection, and is an easily absorbed, extra water-resistant sunscreen. Another new and handy product to try is the Nivea Sun Kids Trigger Spray SPF 50+ with its easy-to-apply, trigger-spray mechanism. For more info visit nivea.co.za Eight readers can win a Nivea Sun Hamper valued at R530.

Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Nivea JHB win”.

perfect fit

lumber jack and jill Le Toy Van Toys encourage creativity and imagination, and are designed with group play in mind. Timber Toys imports these non-toxic wooden toys, which comply with strict international standards, and are safety tested for the ages of three years and older.

For more information, contact Michelle: 071 898 7910, info@timbertoys.co.za, or visit timbertoys.co.za One reader can win a Le Grande Garage (including accessories) valued at R1 100 and another reader will win a Sweetheart Cottage (including furniture) valued at R1 600. Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Timber Toys JHB Win”.

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November 2011

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

The Tripp Trapp is an ingenious baby chair designed to fit right into your table and grow with your child. Be sure to visit Stokke at The Baby Expo MamaMagic, taking place from 24 November. For more information, contact Born Fabulous: 073 251 7147, info@bornfabulous.co.za or visit bornfabulous.co.za One reader of Joburg’s Child can win a Stokke Tripp Trapp Chair valued at R2 000. Simply email your details to competition@bornfabulous.co.za and mark your entry as “Child Mag JHB Win”.

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wins

for young tummies and taste buds Bokomo introduces a bite-size version of their famous Weet-Bix cereal, Weet-Bix Bites. They are high in fibre, vitamins B1, B2 and niacin, and low in fat. These tasty treats come filled with real honey, berries or crunchy chocolate balls.

One reader can win a year’s supply of the Weet-Bix Bites range, valued at R2 207; six boxes per month, sent via courier to your home. Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Weet-Bix JHB win”.

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how to enter

congratulations to our September winners

Unless it is otherwise stated, emailed entries go to win@ childmag.co.za and postal entries go to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Only one entry per reader is allowed and entries must be received by 30 November 2011.

Hanlie Chemaly who wins in the Toddler Sense giveaway; Kelly Turner who wins a deluxe party from Hedgehog Lane; Inong Malumo, Janet Grab, Charlie Paget and Catherine Sims who win with Adventure Boot Camp and Annemieke Keijzers, Andrew Hilton, Violet Jack, Yael Grawitzky and Lorienne Barnard who each win a pair of Roller Kidz Heel Skates.

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health

pressure test JESSICA-A’ISHA MOUNEIMNE looks at pre-eclampsia, a condition that poses serious risks for you and your unborn baby.

very pregnant mom knows the nerves and excitement that accompany an antenatal visit. But before you even get a chance to see your little one on the monitor, doctors need to check your blood pressure and the protein content of your urine. High blood pressure disorders are among the most common medical problems in pregnancy, occurring in between five to 10 percent of every 100 pregnancies. According to Cape Town-based gynaecologist, Dr Phillip Zinn, pre-eclampsia is diagnosed when the mother has both elevated blood pressure and protein in the urine. “It arises most commonly in the third trimester of pregnancy, but can also occur as early as 20th week of gestation.”

a cascade of events later in the pregnancy that affect blood pressure and membrane interfaces throughout the mother’s body.”

cause

the risk to mom and baby

While the exact cause is unknown, Zinn says there’s evidence indicating that the placenta is somehow involved.

“The scene is set for possible pre-eclampsia as early as 14 to 16 weeks into a pregnancy. This is when the placenta establishes greater control of its blood supply from the uterus by breaking down some of the muscle tissue in the blood vessels that supply the placenta. This breakdown of muscle tissue in the blood vessels is needed to optimise blood flow to the placenta through a low-pressure environment. For reasons thought to be immunological, this process does not take place efficiently and leads to

Dr Ron White, a Johannesburg-based gynaecologist, explains that in severe cases virtually every organ of the body may be affected. “The major risk involves the brain resulting in convulsions, stroke and blindness. The kidneys are also affected. Renal failure is not uncommon and requires renal dialysis. The liver can haemorrhage causing liver failure. There is a very high risk of death in these cases.” White adds that the baby is at grave risk too. “The vessels of the placenta supplying blood to the baby go into spasm and the baby is starved of oxygen and nutrients, which limits its growth, and means the

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November 2011

baby may die.” This is one of the main reasons for more frequent antenatal visits in the third trimester. The timely delivery of the baby can make the difference between life and death for both mother and child.

symptoms high-risk factors While pre-eclampsia can occur in any pregnancy, there are pre-existing factors that place a pregnant woman at a higher risk, says White. These include a maternal age greater than 40 years; existing high blood pressure, or raised blood pressure occurring early in pregnancy; diabetes or pre-existing kidney disease; various heart diseases and having lost a baby in a previous pregnancy.

Zinn adds that the first pregnancy is far more likely to be affected than subsequent pregnancies.

“However, a pregnancy with a new partner should be regarded as having the same risk as with your previous partner. Pre-eclampsia in the first pregnancy presents a risk for recurrence in a subsequent pregnancy.”

With the only cure for the condition being to end the pregnancy, doctors need to weigh up the options; the risk to mother and baby and the risk of ending the pregnancy with a premature baby, which may require ICU care. Zinn warns, “The clinician is often forced to deliver a very premature baby in order to save the mother’s life and give the baby a chance of survival.”

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Symptoms may include severe headaches and swelling that suddenly gets worse, especially if it includes the face.

The symptoms of acute pre-eclampsia, which can come on very rapidly, include visual disturbances, lower or upper abdominal pain, persistent coughing, shortness of breath and blood in the urine. But Zinn warns that there are often no obvious symptoms until the condition becomes very severe, which can lead to an eclamptic fit.

feature

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health

managing malaria Malaria can be a life-threatening disease. TAMLYN VINCENT

ne bite from a mosquito carrying malaria parasites could put you at risk of contracting this potentially fatal disease. While malaria is more common in tropical and subtropical climates, especially during the rainy season, it is advisable to always be prepared when travelling to a malaria region.

In South Africa, malaria is restricted to parts of KwaZulu-Natal, Mpumalanga and Limpopo.

The first signs of malaria usually appear 10–14 days after one leaves a high-risk area, says Nelspruit GP Dr Frans Theron.

People may get flu-like symptoms with a headache, which can progress to aches and pains, and sometimes abdominal pains, says Theron.

Dr Deena Govender, of the Umhlanga Sports and Travel Clinic, says anyone who develops a fever after visiting a malaria region should assume they have the disease and immediately see a doctor.

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Treatment depends on a number of factors, such as whether it is for an adult or child, what medicine has been taken or the number of malaria parasites in the blood, says Theron. Treatment is therefore individualised, and it is important to see a malaria expert.

If you do have to visit a malaria area, it is advisable to take prophylactics. There are various medicines available, and they need to be prescribed. Mefloquine (Larium) needs to be taken for six weeks after returning from the trip and can have bad side effects, such as depression or convulsions, says Theron. Doxycycline is an antibiotic that, while effective against malaria, should not be taken by pregnant women or children. Theron recommends taking Malarone, which is now available for children, and needs to be taken for just one week after returning. It also has the least recorded side effects. Whichever prophylactic you do take, it is important that you complete the course.

People living in malaria regions may build up a partial immunity over time, but Theron warns that as they can still contract the disease, they should also take prophylactics. There are some that can be taken for a year.

mozzies and minors Children tend to be more at risk of contracting malaria, “because their immune systems

aren’t as developed, making the disease more serious for children”, says Theron.

Govender advises children and pregnant women to avoid malaria areas.

Children weighing 15kg and more can take prophylactics, says Theron. Govender advises parents who plan on giving their children prophylactics to be well informed and aware of the options, and it’s best to visit a travel clinic before going away.

be prepared As anti-malarial medication is not 100 percent effective, it is advisable to take other precautions: • Use a repellent.

• Spray your sleeping area and keep it closed for several hours before going to sleep.

• Use proper screening on your doors and windows.

• Use a mosquito net, which you can also spray with repellent. Keep the net tied up during the day to stop mosquitoes getting in.

• Wear protective clothing.

• Although malarial mosquitoes tend to come out more at dawn and dusk, they can be found in dark places at any time of day, says Theron. Keep your children out of dense vegetation and spray under beds.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

o

offers advice on how to protect your family.

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blog

i’ll take two, thank you When CHARLES STARLING gives in to the whims of his inner

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a pet shop) “We’re just going to have a look, my love.”

Ten-year-old boy stuck inside father’s body: “Wow. Cool pet shop. Look, rabbits!” That is how we ended up in front of the cages where hamsters were on sale for just R10; I expected R20. So, being the adult that I am, I of course said: “Let’s take two. A male and a female. Then they can mate.”

I should probably have been concerned that the shop assistant smelled of booze. But, drunk or not, he seemed to know more than I did about sexing hamsters. He dropped two into a box and then conned me into buying sawdust, food, water dispensers, food bowls, and little orange MSG hamster snacks (which looked surprisingly tasty but, truth be told, tasted like cardboard).

And that was that – deal done. We skipped the movie, we skipped the

bowling and instead headed home with the hamsters and their MSG snacks. But then my daughter said, “This one looks pregnant dad.” I patronizingly told her that all hamsters are fat.

Until the next morning when we found that the “fat” two-week-old “baby” hamster was the proud mother of five. My daughter was very excited and immediately phoned her mom with the good news.

But, things were getting worse. Less than 48 hours after leaving the pet shop, the “father” had six babies. In just two days we had gone from two to 13 hamsters.

When my wife returned, she took 10 of them back to the pet shop. One was experimentally fed to our pet snake, while another escaped, never to be seen again.

This left one hamster. Then, the following day, it escaped from the cage and was caught – first by the cat and then by the dog. We tried to save the comatose rodent

by keeping it in a shoebox close to the wall heater. But, it did not survive the night.

Last Wednesday I went to buy baby mice for the snake to eat. They didn’t have any, and rather than waste the trip I came home with a smallish white rat. It was too big for the snake to eat, so we put it into the hamsters’ cage.

Never give any responsibility, or a full wallet, to a 42-year-old man with a 10-year-old boy trapped inside his body.

You never know what he may bring home next.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

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photographS: shutterstock.com

t

hings went horribly wrong. With my wife and two of my children away over Easter, I had planned to spend the time with my 10-year-old daughter doing some father-daughter activities. It was en route to one of these, a movie and tenpin bowling, that it happened.

Sharp-eyed daughter: “Look dad, there’s a pet shop.”

Responsible father: (no comment) Doe-eyed daughter: “Aww, please can I get a hamster?”

Responsible father: “No, my love” (your mom will kill us).

Ten-year-old boy stuck inside a father’s body: “Hey, that could be cool.

No, bad idea. Hey, that could be cool.

No, bad idea.”

Shocked daughter: “Thanks dad, I didn’t think you would stop.”

Responsible father: (slightly surprised to actually find himself parked outside

child, and his daughter, he gets more than he bargained for.

upfront with paul

money’s too tight to mention Teach your children the value of money as soon as they can count, advises PAUL KERTON. Saskia, Paul and Sabina

PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

i

n austere times, as Greece, Spain and the entire eurozone hover on the brink of fiscal disaster, money matters are something children neither know nor care about.

Look at it from a child’s point of view. There are shops wherever they go and there is always something in those shops that they want. In fact, they want everything because they like accumulating possessions and stuff, because things are nice to have and their personal treasures define who they are.

Mommy and Daddy get money from a hole in the wall – how cool is that? They punch in a number and money comes out.

Fabulous. Then they buy the child the stuff

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they want (if they are good, or lucky). And if the grandparents are around, they are likely to be very lucky indeed.

What children don’t understand is that a) we have to work hard to get the money, b) there is a limit to how much money there is, and c) they can’t get stuff they want every time they go near a shop, no matter how much they protest.

If an appliance supplement or a toy catalogue drops out of a newspaper at the weekend, they can point to a million things they want. The interesting thing is; because they have no concept of value or worth, the price is immaterial. They are governed more by instant gratification – it’s a great colour, it makes an annoying

noise, it’s big, it’s messy, it makes them look cool, it irritates the parents, it smells terrible. But they could choose a toy worth R20 or something that is R250, because the price is completely irrelevant; it’s the experience that counts. I was staggered when I took Sabina to a massive toy shop. She browsed for hours checking out everything. I was prepared to spend R180 on some dodgy-looking plastic pet family, but no, what she really wanted were those luminescent wristbands that cost R5 each. I bought four of those and she was unbelievably happy.

To instil the necessary value of money, we give them pocket money as soon as they can count. Not a lot, but enough for

them to know they have a cash stash and to try and work out the economics of their purchase it’s also to learn that money is precious and you can’t leave it lying about.

I love it when Sabina asks to go into the garage shop on her own to get an ice cream. “Get the right change and get a slip,” I say, and she’s off like a demented greyhound, waving a R20 note. She always comes back beaming with independence, bearing the goods and the right change (she asks for it in a plastic coin bag). She then works out how much she has left.

This is never very much, but it’s much more than Greece has at the moment.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.

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dealing with difference

broken

telephone A child with a central auditory processing disorder can hear, but can’t process what is being heard. VANESSA PAPAS explores this rare but manageable disorder. confused with vowels, which makes doing homework a nightmare as it takes so long and he gets angry, frustrated and tired from the ongoing battle of deciphering every word.

We have developed our own coping mechanisms when we communicate with each other. I have learnt to talk slower and constantly ask him if he understands what I’m saying.

I make every effort to reduce background noise when he’s doing homework. This includes turning down the TV, moving away from the dishwasher that’s running and not having a discussion with him in the car when the radio is on.”

Pietermaritzburg-based Debbie Risk’s six-year-old daughter Katie also suffers from a CAPD. At first, her teachers thought she had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) but, after being assessed by a professional, she was diagnosed with multiple sensory integration disorder (which is a dysfunction in all seven senses).

“One of my most difficult challenges at first was having to explain Katie’s condition to other parents. She can come across as rude or disinterested when in fact she has ‘zoned out’ or is very distracted by sounds, smells or sights and is trying to cope with all the sensory input she cannot process. Since her diagnosis, we have made changes at home and are now far more aware of noises that might be distracting her. Because I understand her needs now, and her need for her own space, I don’t experience a sense of personal rejection, which is something I felt before her diagnosis.

We have even made a ‘special place’ in a section of her room where she can go with her beloved cats when she has to ‘regroup’ and have some quiet time.” Both Lianne’s son and Katie are undergoing extensive occupational and speech therapy and their conditions continue to improve.

Allan continues to say that if your child lacks listening behaviour and auditory attention, it is vital that a peripheral hearing assessment is conducted first to exclude hearing loss. If hearing is not the problem, your child should be

We have developed our own coping mechanisms when we communicate with each other. I have learnt to talk slower and constantly ask him if he understands what I’m saying.

assessed by an audiologist and, based on the findings, remediation and management strategies will be discussed.

According to Gauteng audiologist Tammy Henen, treatment for a CAPD is age and severity dependent.

“The auditory system only fully matures around 12 years of age so one can’t really establish the degree of a CAPD until then. While a CAPD can be improved with treatment – which often involves a speech therapist, audiologist, educational psychologist, teachers, doctors and parents – one must remember that a CAPD is a disorder and not a disease. Each individual may have co-morbid issues (often individuals with a CAPD may have attention deficit disorder or other influencing factors). Some children with a CAPD experience a total improvement of their difficulties or seem to ‘grow out’ of their disorders, while others may be left with some residual degree of deficit forever.

However, with appropriate management, all children can become active participants in their own listening, learning and communication environments.”

signs your child could have a CAPD • B ehaves as though there is a hearing loss even if a hearing assessment has indicated normal hearing thresholds.

• Has difficulty learning songs and nursery rhymes.

• Battles to read, write and spell.

• Mishears words.

• Doesn’t participate in class discussions.

• Cannot tolerate noisy rooms or places.

• Has trouble understanding stories read aloud.

• Has trouble with maths word problems.

strategies to help a child with a CAPD • R educe background noise at home and school.

• Keep eye contact with your child while speaking to them.

• Use simple, expressive sentences.

• Speak at a slightly slower rate and at a mildly increased volume.

• Provide your child with a quiet study place.

• Provide additional aids for study, like an assignment pad or a tape recorder.

• Build your child’s self-esteem.

good to know • T hree to five percent of school-aged children are affected by a CAPD. • An audiologist is the only person who can correctly diagnose if your child has a CAPD. • Auditory deficits need to be identified and managed early to prevent speech and language delays and academic problems.

• A CAPD is often confused with other disorders like autism, ADHD and even depression.

• The causes of a CAPD are unknown, but evidence suggests links to head trauma, lead poisoning and chronic ear infections.

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for more information South African Speech-Language-Hearing Association 0861 113 297, info@saslha.co.za or visit saslha.co.za South African Association of Audiologists 082 727 5977 or visit audiologysa.co.za

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s your child distracted by background noise? Are you constantly met with a “huh?” when you ask them a question, even though they’re not hard of hearing?

Do they battle to read, spell and write? If so, your child could have a central auditory processing disorder (CAPD).

Often confused with other learning disabilities, a child with a CAPD can’t process the information they hear in the same way as others because their ears and brain don’t communicate effectively with each other.

“Central Auditory Processing (CAP) is best described as ‘how the ear talks to the brain and what the brain does with it’. The brain must accurately decode what the ear tells it in order for the brain to attach meaning to the sound coming in. When a child’s CAP skills are weak, they may experience ‘auditory overload’, making communication and learning a challenge. This impacts on their listening, speaking, reading, writing and, in turn, their ‘doing’. It can also affect a child’s confidence as they can’t function effectively in the classroom and socially,” says Heidi Allan, a Durban-based audiologist and speech therapist. “To learn language one needs to be able to listen to and separate important speech from all the other noises of daily living,” explains Allan.

Cape Town mom Lianne Kelly’s 10-year-old son was recently diagnosed with a CAPD. “I have always known there was something wrong but doctors couldn’t conclusively diagnose the problem,” says Lianne. “He battled to hear even though tests confirmed his hearing was perfect. His vocabulary was not as extensive as his peers and his language, spelling and reading were very poor. Even after extensive remedial work, there was no real improvement. Earlier this year, an audiologist at his school suggested I take him for a CAPD test, which revealed he had a central processing disorder.”

Lianne says her biggest challenge is making her son understand that he has to work so much harder than his peers just to accomplish the same task. “He gets very

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manage your child’s stress Are you stimulating your children so that they will succeed in life, or stressing them out? By GLYNIS HORNING

stress alert If your child shows these signs, encourage them to talk about possible worries. If they won’t open up, talk to their teachers or a professional counsellor – don’t ignore them.

• Mood swings • Tiredness • Tearfulness • Clinginess • Withdrawal • Anxiety • Irritability • Aggression • Bad behaviour • Loss of interest • Drop in marks • Changes in sleeping patterns • Changes in appetite • Regression (bed-wetting, thumb-sucking) • New habits (hair-twirling, leg-bouncing) • Stomachache

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She responded by enrolling her daughter in a stress management course. “It was amazing the difference it made just learning to breathe deeply and reconnect with herself when she felt under pressure; to visualise a stressful situation away in a bubble.” The girl’s sleep, hair and eating problems subsided, and she made the transition to her new school smoothly. “She’s been accepted, made friends, and received a glowing term report,” says Tracy. “I just wish I’d looked into the whole stress question earlier.”

Few parents do. Most of us seek guidance only once there’s a problem, reports Michelle Schoon, who runs Stress Free Kids SA in Cape Town. “And there are so many sources (of stress) today.”

parents hope to prove what good parents they are.” We grow anxious about our children’s performance, nagging and using fear of failure to motivate, instead of allowing them to learn from mistakes and showing them how to deal with these as positive growth experiences. This breeds anxiety, anger and resentment in children – they can fear being rejected if they don’t live up to our expectations, or just lose interest and refuse to compete. Overly involved parenting and micromanaging communicates a sense of inadequacy to a child, says Durban child and educational psychologist Dr Caron Bustin. “It encourages dependency and the child doesn’t learn to take ownership of his or her own pursuits.” The bottom line is that we live in a highly

The most common reason children give for worrying is their parents – arguing, leaving home or complaining about money problems. sources of stress Research suggests that certain children may be naturally more susceptible to stress through an inherited high anxiety trait in their personality, but even for them much depends on how they’re raised to respond to pressure in life. Ironically, parents can exert considerable pressure themselve if they’re anxious, distant or over-demanding, or expose their children to problems outside their control.

“Today the most common reason primary school children give for worrying is their parents – arguing, leaving home, or complaining about money troubles,” says Schoon.

Their second biggest source of worry is bullying. Marilu Murray, a trauma counsellor with the Teddy Bear Clinic for abused children in Johannesburg, reports that bullying is on the rise, with children increasingly using online social networks because they allow anonymity. Childline receives numerous calls about bullying, says Joan van Niekerk, the organisation’s advocacy and training manager. Most are from girls, who reach out more readily for help than boys. Tracy’s daughter experienced bullying when other girls ignored her, giggled when she walked by or spread rumours about her.

As children approach their teens, however, pressure comes increasingly from inside themselves as they strive to fit in socially and advance academically. Parents make this worse when they live out their own fears or live their fantasies through their children by piling on extramurals and pushing them to succeed. “Most parents just want their children to have opportunities they themselves didn’t have,” says Pretoria counselling psychologist Elise Fourie.

“But in some cases, I think narcissism plays a role, and

competitive society, she concludes. “This generation is more over-scheduled than any other, and the effect of raised levels of stress hormones can be considerable.”

effects of stress Stress triggers the body to release adrenalin and cortisone as part of its fight-or-flight survival mechanism. But when the stress continues and becomes chronic, constantly raised levels of these hormones can lower immunity. They can cause headaches and digestive disorders, asthma and allergies, and have been linked to heart problems and certain cancers.

Equally, worrying are the psychological costs of stress. It can cause depression, even in primary school children, and lead to an escape in substance abuse, promiscuity, breakdowns and childhood suicide. Nearly one in 10 deaths of young South Africans are the result of suicide, and one in three patients hospitalised after attempting suicide are in their teens or younger, says Durban-based world suicide expert Lourens Schlebusch, author of Mind Shift: Stress Management and Your Health (University Press).

“Children don’t have the same tools for regulating stress as adults and experience burnout and exhaustion when it’s prolonged,” says Bustin. Those who are over-scheduled are constantly under the spotlight, expected to perform and compared to other children. Chronic stress has been linked to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and in the case of extreme stress, such as from lasting separation and loss, emotional, physical or sexual abuse, or witnessing violence (all too prevalent in South Africa magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterstock.com

w

hen Cape Town businesswoman and single mom Tracy, 35, announced that she was moving her daughter from a small community school to a larger school, she began noticing her daughter “wasn’t her usual self”.

The effervescent 11-year-old wasn’t sleeping well, and began comfort eating, then experiencing thinning hair.

“She kept scratching her head, as though things were literally getting under her skin.” Tracy recognised the signs of stress. “It seemed crazy for a child so young,” she says.

But like most children today, her daughter was dealing with a demanding school curriculum, exam-style assessments unlike any we faced at that age, and extramurals that she loved but that filled most afternoons. “A couple of girls were also bullying her, and as a working parent, I wasn’t as available for her as I’d have liked,” Tracy adds. “With all that, the prospect of moving school seemed too much.”

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today), studies indicate the brain itself can be affected.

Researchers at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital in the US, for example, found children aged seven to 13 with post-traumatic stress disorder and high levels of cortisol showed a decrease in the size of their hippocampus, the part of the brain used for memory processing and emotion.

helping them cope It’s essential for today’s parents to be aware of the impact of stress, and recognise the signs in our children, so that we can take action early (see “stress alert”). We especially need to watch our motives and ourselves, and rein ourselves in if we start going too far. “Children need to be stimulated and be given skills so they can develop and find self-confidence and fulfilment in life, but we do more harm than good when we push them too hard to do too much,” says Cape Town clinical psychologist Thabile Zondi-Rees. Children need time with their family, and time playing with friends. “Play is their natural way of de-stressing, working through past experiences and planning future ones,” says Bustin. But more than anything, children need time for themselves. This is how they connect with their feelings, find perspective and develop their imagination and taste. “When you see your child ‘doing nothing’, whether she’s sitting on the front steps, seeming to stare into space, or re-reading a comic book for the hundredth time, let her be,” says US psychologist David Elkind, author of The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon (Perseus). “She’s just taking a little time out of her busy life to have a childhood.”

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We also need to be role models for our children by balancing work, exercise, healthy eating and relaxation in our own lives, and participating happily, not obsessively, says Fourie. We need to help them select a realistic number of activities for themselves and set realistic goals.

One physical and one creative extramural is a healthy mix, and they should be things your child truly enjoys and can succeed at. Encourage them to commit to these so they learn that effort brings fulfilment, says Fourie. But if they try their best and don’t enjoy it, allow them to quit. “Learning to recognise that something isn’t working for you, and to say no, is also a valuable life lesson.”

Finally, coach them in some simple coping mechanisms for when they’re stressed – deep breathing, visualization or going for a run.

stress triggers Some children thrive on a busy schedule but others can break under it. It depends on their personality, motivation and stage of development. Watch these common stress points: Preschoolers: separating from parents; extramurals that expose them to competition before they’re ready Primary schoolers: unstructured classrooms; unclear or unrealistic expectations; fear of failure; first play dates and first sleepovers High schoolers: school work; peer pressure and bullying All ages: monitor children’s exposure to violence on TV and to adult discussions that could cause worry (about crime or money problems). Discuss what they see and hear to help them understand, and offer reassurance. Most importantly, make time to be with them each day so they know you are interested and available. Being able to express their feelings, exercising regularly (to release feel-good hormones) and eating nutritiously are all solid stress busters.

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dad’s blog

the currency of cool MARC DE CHAZAL’s daughter makes her

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own judgment call on teenagers drinking alcohol.

remember my teenage years very well. I managed to get into over-18 clubs when I was nowhere near 18.

My parents were either unaware of the questionable things I got up to or they tolerated them because I was just doing what other teenage boys got up to in the eighties: stuff like underage drinking.

Fast forward to the present. There are more drugs on the scene, for sure, but the timeless vices of booze and cigarettes remain the currency of cool.

And, I now have a teenage daughter of my own. Can you spell “paranoid”?

She recently went to an under-18 party (in other words, there was no alcohol on sale), in a rented hall adjacent to a prestigious independent boys’ school. Nothing out of the ordinary there. I dropped her off at her friend’s home early in the evening and our arrangement was that I would pick her

up at 10:30pm outside the party venue (that means, do not park opposite the place and strike up random conversations with young people). Then the arrangement changed. I received an sms at 8:30pm asking me to fetch her because the party was lame, which I promptly did (obeying the parking rule). She didn’t sound frantic, but the alarm bells were gently ringing. Thankfully, she wasn’t in danger. Instead, she had made a mature judgment call. The “lame” part was that there were lots of intoxicated teenagers there and she didn’t feel like hanging around mates who were behaving badly.

There is no way to ensure your teenager will always be level-headed, but you can be there for them. You can listen. You can pay attention. You can leave your phone on. And don’t let on how paranoid you are.

There is no way to ensure your teenager will always be levelheaded, but you can be there for them.

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Read more of Marc de Chazal’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za

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positive proof JOANNE LILLIE finds out about “positive parenting”, an approach that aims to guide children to becoming happy, confident and accountable young people.

take and share responsibility for achieving happiness not only for their children, but for themselves and the family.

This is done by treating your child with love and respect and giving her responsibility for the consequences of

Positive parenting requires positive parents – parents who focus on their strengths, adopt an optimistic approach and endeavour to build talent.

Positive psychology is the scientific study of the strengths that enable people and communities to thrive – essentially it’s the psychology of making people happier. The focus is on promoting mental health, rather than treating mental illness.

Applied to parenting, it means parents

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good and bad behaviour. Positive parenting techniques are appropriate for all children and personality types, because all children crave approval. Followers of positive parenting report greater contentment for themselves and greater confidence for their children.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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ou catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, this is the underlying message of positive parenting. The idea is that an encouraging and democratic – rather than autocratic – approach elicits the best response.

parenting by example Positive parenting requires positive parents, as children learn best by observing and copying us. Parents who focus on their strengths, have an optimistic attitude and look for opportunities to build confidence and talent are most likely to succeed.

“It is impossible to adopt a positive parenting approach outside of the context of a positive family,” says Dr Lingum Pillay, Durban-based clinical psychologist and president of the South African Society for Clinical Psychology.

It’s all about creating an environment in which children can grow and thrive through the challenges of the early years; it’s how we stimulate, challenge and discipline them.

discipline the positive way Part of a positive approach is focusing on what your child is doing right and offering plenty of praise and reward. Discipline is thus non-violent and non-punitive.

But this doesn’t mean you overlook bad behaviour. “Parents tend to think they must ignore inappropriate behaviour and be completely permissive, but the goal is to maintain a high standard of accountability

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and be kind and respectful at the same time,” says Johannesburg child psychologist and play therapist Karin Meyer. Agreeing on rules together, as well as the consequences for breaking them, works well.

For positive parenting to succeed, you need to have a good relationship with your child and open channels of communication. The approach works with children’s natural desire to please their parents; they want our approval.

the clearer and fewer instructions there should be.

If your child is in the stage of throwing tantrums, try and act proactively. “If you’re going to the supermarket, prevent an outburst by going for a shorter time, and making sure she is not hungry or tired. A young child cannot delay gratification or think through conflicts well, so you need to act to remove frustration as much as possible,” says Meyer.

Our job is to help our children distinguish between their short-term happiness and the long-term good of their character.

“Learn about and understand your children, their strengths and weaknesses, their needs, wants and desires, and their drivers. Learn to talk and listen attentively to them. This is empowering you to be a positive parent,” says Pillay.

You also need to look at the child as a whole: does he get enough sleep; does he eat enough healthy food; is there a routine in the house? The smaller the child,

growing happiness Amanda Marais, family law attorney and mom to Danie, eight, and Jaco, five, is setting the ground rules for her boys now. “Parenting is so much easier when I work with them as a team instead of in opposition. For example, when fighting breaks out I calmly ask them to each go to their room to think about what they are doing and come back later to discuss their feelings. I never shout or chase them away

or punish them – I simply tell them if I don’t like something they are doing and explain why. I talk in a way they understand, on their level, face to face, and this generates understanding and mutual respect,” she says.

Establishing positive patterns now means Amanda, who is a single mom, will be better able to deal with confrontations as the boys become teenagers. “My children are confident and positive individuals, and the greatest benefit I see is that they can come to me and talk about absolutely anything. They are very open to thoughtful discussion; they feel they are being heard, and they have a say in situations that affect them.”

One of the concerns some parents have is that their children might feel so confident they no longer respect parental authority.

Rather, the shift is from parental authority to parental responsibility, says Dr Pillay. “Critical to this is making sure that boundaries are set early and that discipline is carried out in the context of continuous respect and love. Be aware of the words you use, your tone, your non-verbal expressions and gestures. This goes a long way in cementing a positive parenting style,” he says.

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hand in hand This kind of involvement is the key to positive parenting for Urvashi Maganlal, business consultant and mom to Meera aged 11 and Misha, seven. “I try to take a more inclusive approach rather than one of ‘because I said so’. Explaining is at the core of positive parenting and my children find my guidance easier to accept when they understand the reasons for it.”

This may be a longer and more difficult way of parenting than simply dictating, but the benefits are that children take time to think about things, and you don’t find yourself in an “us versus them” situation, says Urvashi. “The children see that we are all affected, and they are involved in the process of agreeing on rules and the consequences of breaking them. As a parent I consciously strive to be more patient and rational, rather than frustrated and angry,” she says. But, be careful, parents often mistake heaping praise for being a positive parent. “Strive for a realistic balance by being consistent, and remember your child is a child – don’t give her too much responsibility (control), as this amounts to unintentionally abdicating your parental responsibility,” warns Pillay.

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quick guide to parenting more positively Apply these principles to parenting, suggests child psychologist and play therapist Karin Meyer: day to day • Provide healthy meals, enough rest and a stable routine.

• Play with your child – find something you both enjoy and engage with him in his world.

• Don’t ask open-ended questions (what do you want for breakfast?), rather let your child choose between oats and toast.

• Praise, don’t punish. building self-esteem • Get to know your child and allow him to get to know himself too.

• Make self-statements together: this way you are affirming your child, showing him he matters.

Ask about the things he likes and doesn’t like and make a board where your child draws these things (or cuts out pictures if

he is very small): This is me – things I like. This is not me – things I do not like.

• Use I-messages: rather than saying “you are a brilliant artist”, say “I like your picture. I think it is brilliant”.

• Create experiences of mastery for your child, such as completing a puzzle or learning something new. discipline • Give easy-to-follow instructions.

• Explain and discuss boundaries.

• Teach right from wrong by example; children learn by observing.

• Teach your child that anger is okay, and how to deal with it appropriately.

• Offer your child alternatives and choices.

• Set limits to keep your child safe.

• Have regular family meetings to clear the air and discuss solutions for specific behaviour.

• Balance your child’s developmental needs with common sense.

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mom’s blog

relative development ANÉL LEWIS gets assurance from a famous late bloomer,

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

and gives up on the milestones comparison.

lbert Einstein only started talking when he was four years old. I picked up this fascinating fact while trawling the web for information on developmental milestones. Erin is heading for nine months, and people are starting to ask the usual questions. Is she crawling? Has she started saying any words? Can she use the iPad? Okay, maybe not the last one, but sometimes it feels as if we are willing our children to develop too quickly. I remember attending my first baby clinic morning a few weeks after Erin was born. The major achievement of the day was that I had managed to strap her into the car seat without causing serious bodily harm – to either of us. But a mother there

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Babies are not robots that can be programmed to perform on demand, or according to a milestone chart. was waxing lyrical about her baby’s ability to already roll over and smile. I looked down at my baby, sleeping contently and showing no sign yet of communicating with hand signals or of crossing her mid-line, and I vowed there and then to never get caught up in the milestone competition.

A few months on, I have to admit that I have been suckered into a few comparisons. I tend to look around at the supermarket, to see if other babies Erin’s age are doing things she isn’t yet. And I wonder if I should be doing more to encourage her speaking. But then I remember that babies are not robots that can be programmed to perform on demand, or according to a milestone chart. As Einstein, who was a slow developer, later discovered – it’s all relative.

Read more of Anél Lewis’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za

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straight up

fun and In today’s techno world where most games involve a console or a computer screen, CHRISTINA CASTLE hauls out the old favourites to keep her family entertained.

i

swear our game of Snakes and Ladders is possessed. Nobody has ever won a game of this particular Snakes and Ladders. Actually, one person has – once, it was me but I cheated. Not my finest moment, but after three-and-ahalf hours of climbing up and slithering down with no result, I simply had to put an end to it.

Snakes and Ladders lives in a chest of drawers in our lounge with a multitude of games the boys have received as presents over the years or inherited from family.

Some have never even been opened and still sit neatly wrapped in a box covered with Cellophane. Others have been test

times we know the answer to practically every question.

Our next favourite has to be Monopoly.

While I am still a Monopoly purist and prefer the original London version, the boys have adapted to the new World Edition with great ease. I mean, who doesn’t get used to credit card convenience? The game still takes an entire afternoon to complete and nothing quite beats the thrill of making it along Millionaire’s Row to GO without landing on Mayfair, Park Lane or today’s city equivalent – Riva (had to Google that one), Montreal and even Cape Town. “Two hundred dollars please, Mr Bank.” Sorry, it’s now two million. You’ve got to love inflation.

driven once or twice, but the old favourites have been downright abused and have started to show their age.

Take for example our South African issue of Trivial Pursuit. It’s a collector’s item and I’m convinced it’s going to be worth a lot of money one day. In the meantime, it’s keeping us all entertained as we rattle off dated questions with equally dated answers. I mean, how long ago did we lose the Transvaal and USSR? What’s more, it has been played so many

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Memory is not my favourite anymore, for obvious reasons. Jenga is guaranteed to be very noisy, especially on a Saturday afternoon when you’re trying to grab a snooze. Cluedo is criminally cryptic and appeals to the detective in all of us – was it Miss Scarlet in the library with the candlestick? Scrabble is brilliant when we don’t follow the rules and we’re allowed to make up words and spell phonetically.

But the game that wins hands down in our family, which requires no board, magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

But the game that wins hands down in our family, that requires no board, dice or pieces, is Charades. This is where we get to showcase our raw talent.

dice or pieces, is Charades. This is where we get to showcase our raw talent. I have watched an eight-year-old perform the entire story of David and Goliath, a 68-year-old pretend he was Spiderman and a 14-year-old stumble through the Encyclopaedia Britannica. These are the moments that stick with you forever.

“Oh, such a wholesome little family they

are,” I hear you say. “They probably eat carrots, nuts and celery while playing their games together.”

What I haven’t mentioned is another game I like to play. It’s a personal favourite of mine when I find the boys playing Xbox on a beautiful day. It’s called Murder in Broad Daylight and usually includes Mrs Castle in the TV room with a chain saw.

find more games • T he Treasury of Family Games by Jim Glenn and Carey Denton (Reader’s Digest) • Games Children Play by Kim Brooking Payne (Hawthorn Press) • Instant Games for Children: 101 Fun-filled Children’s Games by Susan L. Lingo (Barnabas) • Great Games for Young Children by Rae Pica (Gryphon House) • Games to Play with Toddlers (Gryphon House) Also visit gameskidsplay.net for the rules of popular games.

games unwired Do you remember, as a child, playing with very little but your imagination and possibly a skipping rope? Encourage your child to also play outdoors by rediscovering the retro-cool games we enjoyed as children.

• Hide and seek Mix it up by playing sardines, where one person hides and everyone else seeks. When you find the person hiding, join them in their hiding spot.

• Capture the flag Ideal with a larger group, split into two teams. The object is to run into enemy territory and capture their flag (e.g. a T-shirt). Being tagged sends you to jail, but your team members can get you out.

• Tag There are many variations one can play. If you have a swimming pool, Marco Polo is an old favourite. In shadow tag you touch each other’s feet instead of tagging their body. Another version of tag is kick the can, when the “it” person tries to tag people, who then go into a captured zone. If one of the free players manages to kick the can, the captured players are freed.

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how to

looking ahead Poor planning could tarnish your golden years of retirement. RUWAYDAH LILLAH offers

people into the Mooi Hawens Retirement Home in Amanzimtoti, KwaZulu-Natal.

Living in your own home and hiring help is an option, but the maintenance of the home and garden will still remain your burden, which you may not be able to afford.

“Moving in with the children is another option, but their lifestyles are totally different from yours. You’ll be left alone at home during the day, talking to the cat, dog and the pigeons. When the children come home tired at night, they may want quiet time but socially starved Granny wants to catch up. You’ll feel that you are in the way,” says Potgieter.

If you want to have a peaceful living arrangement in old age, you have to make that firm decision now. seeking to be more informed about the myriad of retirement options on the market today, not only for their parents but also for themselves,” says Dealtry.

This is a good start, as some retirement places have a 20-year waiting list.

Such is the demand for retirement homes that new developments are springing up everywhere says Marius Brandow, a junior project manager for the Central Development Property Group. Many pensioners are opting for retirement villages. “This does not just make financial sense, but they’re also surrounded by their peers with access to state-of-the-art medical facilities and they know they will not become someone else’s burden when they can’t do things for themselves anymore,” says Brandow.

difficult decisions “If you want to have a peaceful living arrangement in old age, you have to make that firm decision now,” says Elize Potgieter, a social worker who helps place and settle

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buying options If you have some money saved, you could invest in a retirement home. But then you have to understand exactly what you are committing yourself to when you sign the documents. Always ask for the latest balance sheet and other relevant information. If you are in the dark, get legal advice. The options for buying are: Sectional title You own the unit, registration is done through the Deeds Office by a conveyancer and you may have to pay transfer duty. This could be a good investment that you could leave as an inheritance to your children.

Share Block Scheme You become a shareholder in a company that owns the retirement estate, which entitles you to occupy a cottage or apartment. It’s much cheaper than a sectional title. However, if the company experiences financial difficulty and is liquidated, you may be liable for outstanding debt and you may lose your home.

R12 000

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the amount an average 30-year-old South African earns a month. If they don’t save 15 percent of their income, they won’t have enough to live on when they reach 70

percentage of pensioners who have to work to supplement their income

percentage of pensioners who don’t have enough money to live on

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Life Rights or Occupation Rights This falls under the Housing Development Scheme for Retired Persons Act 65 of 1988. No legal costs are involved. You are entitled to occupy a particular apartment for the rest of your life, but this ownership ends when you pass on. You can’t leave it to family as an inheritance. However, when the property gets sold, you do get a share of it, which will be paid to your estate.

saving for your nest egg The sad reality is that 90 percent of South Africans don’t have enough money saved for retirement. This means that many can’t afford the lifestyle they were accustomed to while they were working and most have to live off the state, family and friends or charity, says Johannesburg-based Liberty Life financial advisor Joe Chitanda.

“The sooner you start saving, the sooner you can earn compound interest (interest on your interest), which means a lot more money for a comfortable retirement.”

He says company/employer pension products changed from “defined benefit” (which shows exactly how much they’ll have at retirement) to “defined contribution” (which shows exactly how much they’ve contributed). It is up to the employee to make sure you contribute enough. Meet with a financial advisor who can do the necessary projections and tailor a retirement plan specifically for you. Work pension provident contributions are never enough, so also start a Retirement Annuity (RA), advises Chitanda. The money you contribute to the policy is invested and the return you make isn’t taxed in the fund. This policy grows faster than an investment or unit trust.

10 tips for planning for your (or your parents’) retirement

1 Get a full physical to determine your overall health and possible future problems.

2 Let a financial advisor calculate how much you’ll need to retire comfortably.

Take into consideration inflation as well as unforeseen medical costs.

3 If your parents are of retirement age, regular medical check-ups are important.

Ensure they are covered by a medical aid, even if it’s a basic hospital plan to ensure they get proper medical care when it’s needed.

4 Don’t put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to investing money.

Spread out your investments as much as possible.

5 Draw up a will with clear instructions on who gets what when you die. Anyone with a sizeable estate should have a will, says Chitanda. Advise an elderly parent to have a will and explain why it’s important.

6 Decide when and where you want to retire and also help your parents make an informed decision.

7 Research what type of retirement accommodation is available in your preferred area. Look at the type of facilities these institutions offer.

8 Make sure that the accommodation you choose either for yourself or your parents has a frail care facility, panic buttons in the rooms and 24-hour medical assistance.

9 Don’t just dump your parent there. Ease them into the new environment, visit regularly, take them on outings and holidays and make sure they know you’re just a phone call away.

10 Compile your bucket list of things you always wanted to do before you die.

Encourage your parent to get a new lease on life and live the remainder of it the way they had always dreamed.

useful contacts: Age-in-Action SA Council for the Aged: 021 426 4249, 011 333 0501, 031 309 2012 or visit age-in-action.co.za Senior Service A comprehensive directory of retirement facilities countrywide.

Visit seniorservice.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterstock.com

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atching my grandmother get old, forgetful, frail and ultimately helpless was a terrifying experience that made me wish I never get old. But it’s only now that I’m much older, and seeing my dad through retirement, that I realise just how frightening old age must be for them; more so if they aren’t financially prepared for it.

Most of us don’t plan sufficiently for our twilight years. But the good news is that more people are enquiring earlier, between the age of 45 and 50, about retirement accommodation, says Dealtry Pickford, a trustee of the St Leger Retirement Hotel in Muizenberg, Cape Town. “They are

practical advice for you, and your parents.

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31

health

is your child getting enough?

TAMLYN VINCENT looks at which essential vitamins

babies Most babies will receive all of the nutritional supplements that they need from the breast or formula milk that they drink, says Cape Town-based nutritional therapist Megan Perry. However, some babies may need additional supplements, especially if they were born premature. According to Natasha Martins, a paediatric dietician in Durban, “a vitamin D deficiency may occur in breastfed infants if the mother’s diet is low in this vitamin.” Formula-fed babies should not need additional vitamin D, unless they

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are drinking less formula than required every day. Formula-fed babies should also get enough iron from their diet, if they are drinking the recommended amount. But the amount of iron that breast-fed babies receive from breast milk, after six months of age, is not sufficient to meet the infant’s requirements, says Martins. Infants can get additional iron through their diet or through supplementation. However, Perry warns that calcium and tea slow the absorption of iron, so these supplements should not be taken with their milk or with tea.

While breast-feeding is best for babies, some moms may want the option of feeding with formula. Again, there are so many types of formula available, that it may be difficult choosing the right one to meet all of your baby’s nutritional needs. If your baby has a medical condition, such as lactose intolerance, your doctor should advise

which formula you should use. Otherwise, Martins suggests firstly following the age indication on the formula, and secondly “looking for the added benefits”. DHA/ARA (docosahexaenoic acid/arachidonic acid) have anti-inflammatory properties, while probiotics aid stomach health. “Omega-3 and -6 are also important,” adds Perry, who suggests that you consider an organic formula.

toddlers Children grow rapidly at this age and therefore need a range of vitamins and minerals to help with the development of their bones, the immune system and the brain, among other things. Children should be able to get most of these supplements from their diet, but they can also get an ageappropriate multivitamin. Martins points

out that toddlers often need additional vitamin A and D supplementation, as these requirements are usually not met through diet alone. Toddlers may also need vitamin C and B6, iron, calcium and magnesium, adds Perry, as well as omega-3 and zinc.

preschoolers and early graders If children are eating a varied, balanced diet they shouldn’t need vitamin or mineral supplementation, says Martins. However, fussy eaters or those not getting all of their vitamin requirements through their diet may need supplements. “It is important to be following a balanced diet according to a child’s age-appropriate food pyramid,” says Perry. Children should get sufficient omega-3 fatty acids from their diet, advises Martins. A vitamin C supplement can also be taken.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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e all want what is best for our children, and we want to make sure that their nutritional needs are met. But with so many supplements and multivitamins out there, it can be difficult knowing where to start.

and minerals your children need as they grow.

pre-teens Again, children at this age should be receiving most of their nutritional needs from a balanced diet. If they have a limited diet though, they can take a multivitamin.

Perry suggests that children take an ageappropriate multivitamin that contains “valuable vitamins and minerals including zinc, magnesium, iron, B-vitamins, folate and vitamin C”. Pre-teens should also take a separate omega-3 supplement, says Perry.

teenagers “The teenage years are a time of increased vitamin and mineral requirements,” says Perry, but it is also a time when teenagers may develop poor eating habits. Because of this, Perry recommends that teenagers take a good multivitamin that contains vitamin B complex, vitamin C, vitamin E, calcium, iodine, iron, magnesium, selenium and zinc.

Teenage girls will also need more iron than boys, especially when they begin to menstruate. Perry adds that girls may want to take a supplement that helps ensure healthy looking skin, while boys may look for vitamins that help build their muscles.

Evening primrose oil is a good source of the important omega-6 fatty acid, which helps to regulate heart function

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and balance hormones. This can help with mood swings and pre-menstrual syndrome. It can also be used as a cream to promote a healthy skin.

general tips • Multivitamins are intended as a supplement, and not as a replacement to a healthy balanced diet.

• Vitamins and minerals come in different forms: they are easiest to absorb in their food state, and you can ensure a vitamin- and mineral-rich diet by eating a variety of whole, unprocessed foods as well as plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables.

• If your child is a fussy eater, or is not eating a balanced diet for any reason, then speak to your healthcare practitioner before giving additional supplements to your child, either in pill or liquid form.

• Multivitamins should be ageappropriate as children’s needs change as they grow. However, most teenagers can take an adult multivitamin.

• Avoid multivitamins that are high in sugar or colourants, especially for younger children.

See childmag.co.za/content/vitamins for a comprehensive list of vitamins and minerals, what they do and natural sources for each of them.

vitamins and minerals Vitamin A is good for normal growth and development, bone growth and tissue repair. It also boosts the immune system and promotes good vision and healthy skin.

Vitamin B complex converts food to energy, develops red blood cells and fights infection. It is good for muscles, nerves, a strong heart and healthy skin and hair.

Vitamin C is an antioxidant and helps absorb iron, grow bones and teeth, and promote healthy ligaments.

Vitamin D builds strong bones and teeth, and helps absorb calcium and other minerals.

Vitamin E protects cells and tissue, which helps to build healthy muscles and red blood cells.

Vitamin K helps clot the blood.

Calcium promotes the growth of bones, teeth and muscle, and improves nerve function, blood clotting and cell structure.

Iodine regulates metabolism and growth.

Iron helps build muscle and red blood cells.

Magnesium helps regulate the body by contracting and relaxing muscles and nerves, and binds calcium to teeth and bones.

Omega-3 and -6 promote heart, brain and eye development and improve concentration and attention.

Selenium is an antioxidant and improves thyroid function.

Zinc promotes growth, and helps hormones and enzymes work properly.

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33

spotlight

it could happen to your child Drug abuse is on the radar of most schools. Why are our children tempted to experiment with these dangerous substances? DEE KOCH investigates.

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I would emerge intact. Then one day I stopped. I awoke to the realisation that smoking this stuff was no longer fun.

The fact that I did stop remains a small wonder as addiction flows strong through my family’s genes. But stop I did and no matter how uncool I then seemed, that desperate need to belong and be like everyone else no longer mattered – adolescence was behind me. In hindsight, I was incredibly lucky as marijuana, dope, weed, or whatever name you choose to give it, is by no means harmless – we all react differently to different quantities and I have a number of friends who were not so lucky.

I will be eternally grateful to my mother who welcomed that motley crew into her home, despite her fears, just to keep me close. Melinda Ferguson is living testimony to the caution that drug abuse can happen to anyone. Her

book Smacked (Oshun Books) is a scary and compelling roller-coaster account of the loss of her children, career and home to drugs. She attended a good Johannesburg school, was a prefect there and went on to study at UCT, but she still succumbed to drug abuse.

why children turn to drugs Grant Jardine, director of the Cape Town Drug Centre, says adolescence can be seen as the bridge between family and the real world. He talks about this period of development as if it were a halfway house. “If taking drugs while in a group proves to be the path of least resistance, then adolescents will often choose to take the drugs rather than risk being kicked out of the group.” Durbanbased psychologist Sherona Rawat is sympathetic to

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

t

he day I discovered dope I also discovered what it felt like to “belong”. I came from a loving home and went to an expensive school, but as I sat in the lonely transit lounge awaiting adulthood I still needed to know I was going to be okay with a capital “O”. So I cruised with a crowd that consisted of a 30-year plus man who wore black leather pants, gambled and smuggled drugs across international borders; a Rastafarian saxophonist who was years later caught up in a car theft syndicate; a Danish cough mixture addict, and a punk who wore a blue candlewick dressing gown to match his mohican. I worshipped them and took ongoing puffs from the things that they rolled.

My mother eyed them with a mixture of justified suspicion and horror, and endured sleepless nights hoping

As the child becomes isolated from loved ones and more involved with the chaos of the world he might be living in, he seeks stronger means of escape. the teenager’s need to find solace in drug use. She cites tired and overly busy parents, geographically absent grandparents and less affiliation with teachers as some of the reasons children lack role models and cohesion.

“Nuclear families are rare and parents divorce and remarry, making the family considerably larger and more diluted, to put it bluntly.” She adds, “As the child becomes isolated from loved ones and more involved with the chaos of the world he might be living in, he seeks stronger means of escape. Drugs provide that escape.”

who’s doing what?

Nikki Munitz, a counsellor at Houghton House, a registered treatment centre in Johannesburg, reports that the most common drugs bringing teenage patients into treatment are marijuana, cat or kat (methcathinone) and crystal

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meth or tik. “Crystal meth is cheap and easy to find, so teenagers start using it because, with their limited access to funds, it is the ‘easiest’ option.”

SA HealthInfo, a South African government-initiated project, notes in their 2010 report that crystal meth users in the Western Cape and in Gauteng are getting younger.

Jardine says this is worrying, as the younger you start using drugs the less likely you will be able to stop. While it may take a while for the negative health effects of drug use to manifest, the child or teenager’s psychological and emotional development is quickly affected. “Once a teenager starts taking drugs, they stop learning what their peers are learning and they miss out on a crucial formative process. This means that a 17-year-old drug addict, if he started using drugs at the age of 14, will be trapped in that age,” says Jardine.

While tik may be getting plenty of media coverage, huffing seems to be on the increase too. Life Talk, an organisation that provides both adolescents and parents with support by way of an active online forum, describes huffing as “the intentional inhalation or sniffing of a chemical substance, either through a rag or sprayed directly into the nose or mouth, resulting in a quick euphoric effect, an initial excitement and lowering of inhibitions followed by drowsiness and possible agitation”. It can also be fatal.

A 15-year-old high school boy, from an independent

drug use in schools The Medical Research Council surveyed 10 270 pupils, between Grades 8 and 11, at 192 government schools from all nine provinces and found that: • 12,2% reported ever having used inhalants; • 12% reported ever having used over-thecounter prescription drugs; • 7,4% reported ever having used mandrax; • 6,8% reported ever having used club drugs, like ecstasy; • 6,7% reported ever having used cocaine; • 6,6% reported ever having used tik; • 6,2% reported ever having used heroin.

The 2nd South African National Youth Risk Behaviour Survey 2008 While schools approached for comment were reluctant to comment on the extent of the problem among their pupils, the MRC statistics suggest that the proportion of illicit drug use is not negligible and that young people are at risk of damaging their health. The legal and economic consequences of using these drugs could also affect their education and future prospects.

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spotlight

Sandton school, died earlier this year from heart failure after inhaling household aerosol. He was described by his principal as “a good boy”. Life Talk says they have been receiving an increased number of reports of huffing, “at least 10 times more than in previous years”.

For some, the huffing of substances such as thinners or deodorant may be the first step towards a dependence on other drugs.

Adrian, who is now over 40 and lives at his mother’s house in Johannesburg, started sniffing thinners, poured on the collars and tie of his school uniform, in Grade 9. His marks began to drop drastically and it came as no surprise when he failed Grade 10. A few weeks into his second year of Grade 10, the principal informed his mother that Adrian and four other boys were caught with drugs. Three of the boys were disciplined and allowed to finish school. They stopped

what can you do?

Adrian’s version of events is nothing short of sobering for teenagers and parents alike: it can happen to anyone, irrespective of your income or education. Jenny Wanting of DARE, a Johannesburg-based training organisation and outpatient treatment centre for substance abuse, says teenagers may be resistant to warnings if their parents may smoke, drink or use drugs regularly. “Often the general level of permissiveness among parents makes it hard for the teen to see their own actions could be harmful.” Munitz does not believe we can stop teenagers from trying drugs, so the best option is to be upfront and to talk to your children about it. Tell them that drugs might make you feel good temporarily, but warn them that they come with a host of possible consequences. Teenagers need to know the facts to make informed decisions.

The drugs have stunted my emotional growth, and have definitely caused some brain damage. I can’t do the things I used to be able to do and work out before. drugging and went on to matriculate. But Adrian was expelled and his drug use continued. His family had to endure years of outpatient help, tough love and rehabilitation.

He did manage to turn his life around in his early thirties, and all was going well until he needed to take morphine for thirddegree burns. The use of the drug, albeit prescribed, drew him back onto the path of drug dependence, one from which he has never fully recovered.

Although Adrian no longer uses hard drugs, he has an ongoing addiction to cough mixture. “The drugs have stunted my emotional growth, and have definitely caused some brain damage. I can’t do the things I used to be able to do and work out before (because of the effects of the drugs).” His drug use has deprived him of an education and the career choices he would have had.

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What do you do if your child asks questions about your drug use? Cape Town clinical psychologist Gary Koen says, “They are not really interested in your experience, what they actually want to know is if you will talk about it (what drugs are and the consequences of taking them).” He advises parents to “get over their own anxiety”, as children are in fact testing your capacity to engage in the conversation. “Create the space to have that discussion.”

Life Talk agrees, saying you should keep the channels of communication open with your child. Encourage hobbies that support a healthy lifestyle so that activities such as drinking, drugging and huffing become less attractive. Remain involved in their life, taking an interest in their opinions, thoughts and views and encourage them to assert themselves so that they are able to stand up to others and negative peer pressure. magazine joburg

signs of drug abuse Physical appearance • Not taking care of hygiene and grooming • Not sleeping or sleeping too much • Loss of appetite • Weight loss or gain • Hyperactive or under active Personality • Disrespectful – verbally or physically abusive • Angry, paranoid, confused and extreme mood swings • Depressed – less outgoing • Very secretive and lies about movements • Stealing or losing possessions of value • Has lots of money or always asking for money • Withdraws from family and its activities Social activity/school performance • Drops old friends or activities • Absence from school • Loses interest in schoolwork – lower marks • Sleeps in class • Loses concentration or has trouble remembering things Courtesy of Rape Wise

for help and information Life Talk visit lifetalk.co.za Cape Town Drug Centre 021 447 8026 or visit drugcentre.org.za Houghton House 011 787 9142 or visit houghtonhouse.co.za Sharp 0861 233 428 or visit sharptreatment.com Narcotics Anonymous (NA) 083 900 6962 (national helpline) or visit na.org.za Sadag Substance Abuse Line 0800 121 314, sms 32312 or visit sadag.org Sanca 011 781 6410 or visit sancanational.org.za Tough Love 0861 868 445 or visit toughlove.org.za

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37

my story

when it all falls apart It took a nervous breakdown for new mother of twins, FIONA RONQUEST-ROSS, to realise that she needed help. had always felt a bit sorry for people who lost it in public places. So what was I doing in a restaurant, sobbing uncontrollably, hardly able to walk, and babbling like a drunk? I was in this state because I hadn’t recognised the symptoms of burnout, hadn’t heard the loud, clear message my body was giving me, saying, “Slow down, I can’t keep up this pace”. My body had taken over and simply forced me to slow down.

Looking back, I suppose there were four main factors that contributed to my breakdown. The first is my personality. I’m a classic A-type – intensely competitive, over-achieving and a perfectionist. As a child, I wanted to win all the prizes at school; as an adult, I wanted to have the most fulfilling relationship, run the most amazing organisation, look great, and have the perfect home and garden. Lesson one: being a perfectionist is not a bad thing. However, wanting to do everything, immediately and 120 percent well can cause a few problems.

The second factor was that I had had twins nine months previously. They are gorgeous and adorable, but lots of work. So now, in addition to everything else, I

wanted to give my children the best start in life. Only, I was going to have to do this on less than five hours’ sleep a night. Lesson two: babies bring all sorts of extra pressures.

It’s crucial to make some time for yourself, because if you fall apart, everything falls apart.

I never complained, and this was the third factor. Our family is from stoical Scottish stock, and I had learnt to say firmly: “I’m fine, thank you”, even when I was feeling terrible. I wouldn’t even admit to myself that I was feeling sick or tired. I followed my parents’ mantra of: “Pull yourself together and get on with it”. Lesson three: it’s okay to admit that you need help.

And lastly, I contracted a virus, which developed into bronchitis. True to type, I took very little notice, and over the next three weeks my bronchitis worsened until one night my sister-in-law came over and said with concern: “I hope you don’t have whooping cough.” I Googled the condition and learned that it is highly infectious, has no cure and lasts for three months. You can imagine the effect of this on my “new-mom-anxiety” – not only would my children die, but I would be responsible for their death. Lesson four: take care of yourself and don’t

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

It’s crucial to make some time for yourself, because if you fall apart, everything falls apart.

ignore signs that all is not well because “I don’t have time to go to the doctor”.

Thoroughly alarmed, I took myself off to the doctor for the third time in a week. I saw a very logical, clinical doctor who, with all the best intentions, treated the symptoms (acute bronchitis) without enquiring more holistically about my life. He prescribed the usual adult dose of cortisone and cough mixture, took a sputum sample and explained what the drugs would do. But he didn’t explain the sideeffects; that overdosing on the cough syrup would cause palpitations and insomnia and that, since I already had a high level of anxiety, cortisone would cause more sleep deprivation. Lesson five: your doctor knows only what he is told. Tell him all he needs to know to treat you effectively.

over some finer points of interior design. I also wrote key points for a radio interview my partner was due to have on that Monday. What I didn’t do, was sleep.

The next morning I called my doctor and he told me to halve the dosage. I had another night of insomnia, and this finally resulted in the collapse I suffered in the restaurant. So now I know what happens during a nervous breakdown. I cried hysterically for five hours, then vomited for three, experienced paralysis of the limbs, then nausea, paranoia and delusions for the remainder of the night. My eyes swelled up like a giant bullfrog’s because of fluid retention and I couldn’t even keep down an electrolyte solution. It was as if I was a drug addict having a full-scale withdrawal.

the final straw

reaching out

As a result I had insomnia – for three long nights. On the first night, I thought about my 10-year plan, made a list of the hobbies I’d like to develop, and then started writing a section on “how to recover after a hard-drive crash” for our organisation’s operations manual. This was a perfectly natural thing to do since my hard drive had crashed the previous month, but not at 2am.

During the second night I planned a new garden design, improved the tool storage in the garage and went

I was lucky. There were plenty of willing hands to help out. My sister, our nanny, my mom and my partner all rallied round and helped me get through what was a very frightening experience. Three weeks after the collapse, I felt more clear-headed about what had happened and why. Through some time off, leaning on my support network, lots of yoga, some long Reiki sessions, taking a natural serotonin supplement, continuing my daily walks and consciously trying to relax, breathe out and be in the

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moment with our babies, I’m starting to feel like a new person. It has been a transformative experience – I feel like a snake that has shed one skin and is learning to wear another.

get help Do you: • feel sad, suicidal, overwhelmed and exhausted?

• feel angry, frustrated, anxious or out of control?

• fear that you may harm yourself or your baby?

• feel you have lost interest in your appearance; have a low libido or little interest in sex?

• feel you lack self-confidence or the ability to think clearly or concentrate?

• no longer have control of your appetite?

• have excessive weight loss or gain?

• suffer from insomnia or sleep disturbances?

• have headaches, nausea, vomiting and other unusual physical symptoms?

Contact the Post Natal Depression Support Association’s national helpline: 082 882 0072 or sms “help” to the same number and someone will contact you.

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39

book extract

’tis the season for giving

These handmade goods from IDEAS GIFTS will make superb end-of-year presents for your children’s teachers.

crocheted flower clips

You will need: • remnants of 4-ply yarn in pastel colours • 3,25mm crochet ho ok • matt gold beads • sewing thread • hair clips

butterfly hair clips

wi th a U se co tto n fab ric 1 small design. fabric; this Spray starch onto the 2 ying. also prevents it from fra rfly shape, Draw a simple butte 3 , and then transfer it to the fabric cut out. ches and Using small hand stit 4 the body contrasting thread, sew to the top section of the butterfly of the clip.

To crochet 1 Using a 3,25mm cro chet hook make 8 ch , 1 ch into starting ch ring, * 1 tr, 1 ch, 4 dtr, to make 1 ch; rep from * four tim es more. Fasten off.

2 Continue making mo re flowers in exactly the same way using different colour for ea a ch flower.

3 Sew a matt gold be ad in the centre of eac h flower. Do not fasten 4 Attach each flower off. securely to the top of a clip. Fasten off.

5 Attach the clips to a pretty card. ch – chain; dtr – double treble; rep – repeat; tr – treble; sl st – slip stitch

abbreviations

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PHOTOGRAPHS: ideas

hair clips

Make a set of pretty ha ir clips using yarn and fabric remnants.

fabric-covered frame

A picture frame always makes a great gift, esp ecially if it comes wit photograph. Cover yo h a treasured urs with a leftover pie ce of material.

You will need • a wide wooden fra me • fabric remnant • ribbon • cardboard • sewing scissors • craft knife and cuttin g mat • staple gun and sta ples • craft glue

good idea

a fabric guard Spray the frame with and dirt. to protect it from dust

To make 1 Cut a piece of fabric

slightly larger than the frame and fold it over the sides are covered the frame so that .

2 Staple the fabric to the frame by beginning in the centre of one side. fabric tight and staple Then pull the it in the centre of the op posite side. Repeat wit two sides and then sta h the other ple along the remaining sections.

3 Tuck in the corners and neatly staple the fabric to the back of the 4 Place the frame face do frame. wn on the cutting mat and use the craft knife the fabric on the inside to cut an X in of the frame. Begin an d end about 3mm from Fold the flaps to the ba the corners. ck and staple onto the frame. Cut off all loose 5 Finish off the frame by bit s of fabric. gluing a ribbon aroun d the inside of the win cardboard to the back do w or gluing of the frame to hide the staples.

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November 2011

41

book extract

clay pendants

Use air-drying clay to make these unusual pendants.

You will need • white polymer clay • rubber stamp with • • • •

a raised motif (from a craft sho p) small cookie cutters rolling pin kebab sticks leather thong

To make 1 Round pendant Ro ll a piece of clay until it is 3mm thick. Press the rubber stamp ligh tly onto the clay and cut out the motif with a round cookie cutter. Pre ss a hole through the clay usi ng a kebab stick and leave to dry on an upturned wine bottle . When dry, lift carefully and threa d a leather thong through the hole.

2 Heart-shaped pe ndant Make as before, but use a he art-shaped cookie cutter and leave to dry flat.

themed gift hampers Great ideas for hampers include a tea kit, a chocoholic’s dream or a box filled with Asian delights such as stir-fry sauces. Or get inspiration from these:

baker’s delight

baking will Anyone who enjoys for making love this gift box piping bag, cupcakes. Arrange a rations and paper cups, cake deco spoons on a couple of wooden tie with a d an a mini muffin tin, pretty ribbon.

french flair

Tre at so me on e sp ec ial to a so ph ist ica ted an d decadent French-the med gift box. Fill a clear box with a bottle of spark ling wine and delicious Fre nch treats such as maca roons, nougat and meringues.

Add a gourmet French ch eese and beautiful knife.

Use pretty scrapbooking paper, ribbon and lace to de corate the box.

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braai kit

kit for the An all-in-one kebab line a large king of the braai: some wood foil container with ab skewers, shavings and add keb and a spice a basting brush, tongs stard seed rub (see adjacent mu also add a rub recipe). You could sauce, braai marinade or basting . ots spices or dried apric

mustard seed rub

Combine 30ml musta rd seeds, 30ml celery seeds, 30ml dried thyme, 15ml salt, 5ml ground black pepper, 5ml cayenne pepper, 5m l paprika and 5ml brown sugar. This mixture is ideal for rubbing into pork, chicken pieces or seafood. For a honey-mustard basting sauce that’s suitable for chicken or pork, mix a teaspoon of the rub into 15ml hone y.

caffeine fix

Any coffee lover will en joy this gift box packed with all the ingredients for that perfect cup of coffee. Line a wooden box with raffia, then pack in a small plu nge pot, a bag of coffee beans, sugar stirrers and some treats to en joy with the coffee, such as bisco tti, rusks or shortbread. Tie the box with a pretty ribbon and deco rate with a paper bow.

about the book Finding the perfect gift, especially during the festive season when the shops are packed, can be frustrating. Why not make some simple but thoughtful homemade presents that won’t break the bank and are fun to do? Ideas Gifts (Human & Rousseau) has compiled this beautiful book that will inspire you to make something unique for any occasion. Available at all good book stores nationwide.

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November 2011

43

my story

help, I’m jealous of my stepchildren CHAREEN BOAKE realises she is not the wicked stepmother she feared she was.

d

over a glass of wine with friends. You can talk about politics, sex and your husband maybe, but certainly not about jealousy towards two young girls. After all, who wants to be the clichéd evil stepmother?

I’d spoken to a few confidants about the way I was feeling and the response was always the same: “But you knew what you were getting into when you married a man with two children...”

My mind understood the logical implications of accepting a man and his children, but my emotions knocked me

Illustrations: shutterstock.com / Alys suter

o you know that there are at least 900 stories, fables and fairytales with wicked stepmothers in the plot? I made this rather discouraging discovery when I turned to my favourite search engine looking for literature on why I was experiencing strange pangs of jealousy towards my stepchildren.

I’d wanted to find out if there were other desperate stepmothers dealing with similar emotions. Feeling jealous of one’s stepchildren is a taboo topic – not the kind of discussion that you casually bring up

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completely off kilter. For some reason, it felt as if there was a short circuit between heart and mind. My husband would cuddle up to his two girls and I would be jealous that he wasn’t with my daughter and me.

The more guilt I felt, the more jealous I became of the time they spent together.

I was reluctant to approach my husband because I was ashamed of the way I felt and didn’t want to hurt or disappoint him.

My guilt eventually led me to a therapist and when I explained rather sheepishly why I was there, she just looked at me and said, “oh, another one”.

I could have hugged her and whooped with joy. I had discovered that I wasn’t the only stepmom covering up these feelings and that many other women experience similar emotions.

One obviously has to be realistic; there are decisions regarding our children where only the biological parents have a say. But there are other decisions that will involve our new family unit.

My husband and I separately spend a day alone with our own children every so often and they have come to look forward to these “special days” with us.

He had no idea that I was harbouring these emotions because it didn’t manifest in nastiness towards the girls.

I had managed to acknowledge and deal with my feelings before they evolved into anything else.

I’m a long way from being a perfect stepmom and the green-eyed monster still rears its little head every so often.

But when it does, I try to put myself in the shoes of two little girls who are more

I’ve learnt that my husband does not love me less because he loved them first…

After some counselling, I opened up to my husband who was more supportive and understanding than I ever could have imagined.

Through our journey together as a family we discovered that I wasn’t jealous because I actually was the evil stepmonster. My jealousy stemmed from being in an unknown place; feeling shut out, excluded, and disempowered when the girls were around.

As a family we’ve now learnt to compromise and include each other in as many decisions as possible. magazine joburg

afraid of losing their dad than of having to share him with someone else.

I’ve learnt that my husband doesn’t love me less because he loved them first and I have also accepted that, just because I’m an adult, I don’t always have to hide my hurt and vulnerability behind a facade pretending that everything is okay.

By being open and honest, even when it’s embarrassing and difficult to admit, I’ve found support from people who try to understand my dilemma and offer help rather than criticism.

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how to

saving up for a bigger pig LUCY OLDEN offers 10 tips to teach your children good financial sense, starting with how to manage their pocket money.

Teach your children: • that money is earned.

• how money can (or should) be spent.

• what to do with the money that is left over.

Debbie Netto-Jonker, certified financial planner and mother to Kerry, 15, and Michael, 12, agrees that there shouldn’t be a surplus: “I find if they have extra money, they don’t listen to the principles around spending it wisely; they simply do what they want to anyway.”

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lead by example

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set (and stick to) the ground rules

3

be sensible

5

ages three to eight: laying a good foundation

By managing your money effectively, you will teach your children to manage theirs. “Children pick up their attitudes to money from their parents,” explains Joan Lema of The South African Savings Institute (SASI). “If you are a spendthrift, your children will think that is the way money is managed.” So make sure your spending habits demonstrate those you would like to see in your children.

Give only the amount of pocket money you can afford, regardless of what other parents (or your children) advise. What counts is not the amount given, but how that amount is managed.

That said, giving children too much pocket money means they are unlikely to learn important skills like budgeting and saving. “There is a real concern, across all sectors of society, that children are being given whatever they want and are not learning the value of money,” says Fouzia Ryklief of The Parent Centre in Cape Town.

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Teach your children that what they have is all they have to spend. Period. Any additional amounts on special occasions or towards particular purchases should be given infrequently and at your discretion – the childhood equivalent of the annual bonus, if you like. And review your plan at least once a year, to be sure that any changing needs are met, or at least discussed.

From the age of three or four, children should be given every opportunity to handle money and understand its purpose.

Jenni McMinn, head of the Foundation Phase at Sweet Valley Primary School in Cape Town, says, “A level of numeracy is certainly necessary to understand how money works but, surprisingly, it isn’t those who are good at maths who easily grasp the money matters that form part of our life skills programme; it is those who have worked with and handled money since they magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

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understand why you’re doing it

were little.” At this stage, it is also important to explain the difference between needs and wants. “This will prepare children for making good spending decisions later on,” says Lema.

Make it count: • Allow your child to handle money for treats, like a pony ride or the occasional packet of sweets.

• Look at newspaper ads or items in the home to illustrate the difference between needs and wants.

6

ages nine to 12: earning curve

Children of this age are usually ready to manage a small amount of money of their own. Tell them you are thinking of introducing pocket money and listen to their expectations. Then come up with a plan that works for all of you. Decide: • how much (determined by the value of what it will be used for); • weekly or monthly; • how much to be spent or saved; • how much to be given if earned.

Netto-Jonker finds that giving her children pocket money on a weekly basis allows her to monitor their performance more easily. She introduced it at the age of 10, with coins in an envelope to the value of a tuck-shop order. “The money usually went on sweets, but they still learnt about choices and consequences – spend now or save for later,” she says. An additional 30 percent was placed in a money box and then, when enough had accumulated, it was transferred to a savings account.

The experts agree that although most household duties should be completed simply for the sake of family contribution, there is value in offering a small amount (about R5 is reasonable) for additional chores, such as washing the car, particularly if a child has been saving responsibly for something special. Lema adds that this also teaches a valuable life lesson: “Money is earned – no work, no pay.”

• Give your child a money box or wallet.

• Draw up a budget together, detailing every cent received, spent and saved.

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ages 13 to 18: spend it wisely

Depending on the level of responsibility shown with the weekly pocket money, consider offering a child of this age a monthly allowance. This could cover clothing and entertainment, for example.

As a mother of two girls, Hannah, 10, and Kyla, 14, Irene-based René de Wet says: “My older daughter started on a monthly allowance of R450 and quickly learnt that she doesn’t need so many clothes. She chooses to buy quality items she really loves, less frequently. She works out her budget and is trying to save about a quarter of her money towards a car magazine joburg

when she matriculates. For us, this system really works.”

Make it count: • If you haven’t already done so, set up a bank account in your child’s name, with a debit card. Show them that it’s cheaper to swipe the card than it is to draw cash.

• Go shopping together, and talk through each purchase.

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going for goals

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compound what?

“Teaching children to save for things they want is a great way of ensuring that they won’t depend on credit later in life,” says Lema. Ask your child to set out on paper their short-, medium- and long-term spending goals, including pictures of each item either drawn or clipped to the page.

“Then sit down together and work out how much each item costs, and what the child must do to buy it – a savings plan,” she says. Try using a thermometer chart to track their progress. Netto-Jonker says simply: “We live in a consumer society, and our children have brands and advertising thrown at them from prep-school age. If we want them to learn to save, we should keep them out of the shopping centres.”

Put simply: if left alone, money in a bank account will “grow”. In real terms: money saved earns interest, then interest on that interest. Try this simple demo to show your children how it works: place R1 in a jar and explain that you will calculate its interest, using a simplistic rate of 50 percent, per day. The next day, calculate the “interest” and add in the additional amount “earned”: 50c. The following day, calculate the “interest” again. This time you will add 75c (50c on the R1 and 25c on the previous day’s 50c). After seven days, you will be left with a total of R11,39.

That’s a great way to get children revved up about saving.

Taking it a step further, you could introduce them to the idea of compound interest on debt too – a good reason to repay borrowed money immediately.

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talk about it

In an age of internet banking and credit cards, our financial transactions are often “invisible” to our children. “By talking about money and discussing our transactions – using real financial terms – we are helping our children to understand its principles,” says Netto-Jonker. A big part of your discussions should focus on the household budget, as this affects your children directly. Netto-Jonker explains, “Telling children that money doesn’t grow on trees can be disempowering, but explaining that something is not in the budget will show them how responsible spending decisions are made.”

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parenting

Keep your children safe by showing them how to behave

ven if you were not a fan of the sci-fi TV series Star Trek, you’re probably familiar with the line from its opening sequence: “…to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no-one has gone before”. Today, all that our children need to explore the sinister world of cyberspace is a computer or cellphone with internet access. With these digital devices, children are boldly going where many parents have never been before, exploring strange worlds that are a mouse click away.

Media can be dangerous, but it also has many positive aspects. I wanted to check the exact wording for the “… where no-one has gone before” phrase, so I launched my internet browser and used the impressive search

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power of Google to help me in my quest. It took seconds.

I’m sure you do this all the time. It’s one of the primary reasons people access media, especially digital media: to find information. Everything from tomorrow’s weather, the kick-off time for Saturday’s big game to the perfect risotto recipe is a brief internet search away. The internet has also revolutionised the way we communicate and entertain ourselves.

Arthur Goldstuck, managing director of World Wide Worx, says parents tend to be oblivious to their children’s online activities, despite knowing the dangers they may encounter. His Cape Town-based company conducted research in 2010 to gauge the relative skills of children, their teachers and their parents in the use of computers, the

internet and cellphone features. “The results were startling,” he says. “Parents across the board rated their children’s skills at half the level that the children rated themselves. The parents generally believed their children to have the same level of computer skills as themselves. It seems that many parents don’t want to know how skilled their children are online, as this gives them the excuse to avoid dealing with the challenge this presents.”

If we want to raise media-savvy children who will not be adversely affected by their interaction with the media, and who will grow up to be good digital citizens with the same manners, respect and maturity we’re trying to nurture in their offline lives, we can’t afford to be ignorant about the wired world. Parents need to be media savvy too.

magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

e

responsibly in the digital playground, says MARC DE CHAZAL.

the digital playground According to a Kaiser Foundation study in the United States, children spend an average of seven-and-a-half hours a day glued to various media. The usual suspects distracting children from their homework and fresh air are video games, the internet and the perennial favourite babysitter, the TV. Children can either use digital media to gain knowledge and create in positive ways, or it will be used to waste large chunks of time in mindless pursuits.

It’s up to us to help them strike a healthy balance. Let’s take a tour of their digital playground.

Electronic games have come a long way since Donkey Kong. Today we have a plethora of games for children that can be played on handheld devices, such as Nintendo, on

magazine joburg

Children can either use digital media to gain knowledge and create in positive ways or to waste large chunks of time in mindless pursuits. It’s up to us to help them strike a healthy balance.

PC or on consoles, like Xbox and PlayStation. There is also a steady stream of game apps that can be downloaded to a cellphone. Seventy-eight percent of American teens play online games and the market research company NPD Group reports that more Americans play video games than go to movies. And it’s not only boys who play these games; nearly 30 percent of console-game players are female.

The primary danger to children in the gaming world is exposure to graphically violent content and addiction – children find it difficult to know when to switch off.

Social media is a congested section of the digital playground. The allure of social media networks is being able to exchange messages, make friends, join and create groups, and view friends’ profiles. In theory, the universal rule of social media such as Facebook and MXit, is

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that children who create profiles and share information about themselves on these networks should be at least 13 years old.

The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act prohibits websites from collecting personal information about children who are under the age of 13 without their parents’ permission, but it’s easy enough for a child to fabricate their date when registering. Goldstuck believes if children are younger than 13 and using Facebook, parents “have a moral and personal family obligation to suspend their use of (the site)”.

The primary danger to children on social media networks is giving out their personal information to strangers and cyberbullying – when a child or teenager is “belittled, humiliated, intimidated or targeted by another minor with the intention of causing emotional distress, via the Web or other digital devices”.

The internet is ubiquitous. Even handheld gaming devices can connect to the internet. We use tools like Google and online banking on a regular basis.

Most adults using the internet (five million people are online in South Africa)

It seems that many parents don’t want to know how skilled their children are online, as this gives them the excuse to avoid dealing with the challenge this presents.

There are age-appropriate social media networks designed for younger children that mimic Facebook, the big brother of social media sites. These were created with fun and safety in mind, but depart from mainstream sites by dropping some of the functions that could lead children towards danger. Users of giantHello, for instance, can leave comments and update their status, but they can’t search for friends.

Friends have to be invited via email, so children can’t make friends with people they don’t know. What’s What does allow children to interact with people they don’t know, but they can’t make friends with people who are outside their age group.

And Togetherville, which targets children under the age of 10, disallows outside links, unapproved friends and private conversations. However, it’s possible for adults to create profiles on these sites and masquerade as children, the same way that it’s possible for children to circumvent age restrictions on other sites.

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are aware that creepy people may lurk anonymously in the shadowy back alleys of cyberspace, and that clicking on dodgy links promising a small fortune from a Nigerian benefactor is the height of internet stupidity. But our children don’t necessarily grasp such dangers. Even an innocent search for something can pull up inappropriate content.

The primary dangers of the internet to children, apart from those related to online gaming and social media networks, are exposure to inappropriate content and sexual predators. A recent MSN survey revealed that 75 percent of teenagers have been contacted by a stranger via the internet, and as many as 37 percent have responded to them out of curiosity.

Television is probably the media platform children are introduced to first, long before they’ll ever type a keyword into Google. The internet has far more scope for children to find stuff we’d rather they didn’t, but TV presents its fair share of magazine joburg

parental challenges. With a multitude of channels to choose from, potential threats range from violence in cartoons, sensitive footage on news broadcasts to some adverts pushing the boundaries of acceptable family viewing.

The primary danger to children watching TV is inappropriate content, and it ranks quite low on the chart of stimulating activities.

digital citizenship Imposing a blanket restriction on our children’s media access to keep them safe is an impractical solution. Instead, we need to educate them from an early age, and stay informed about internet safety and what it takes to be a good digital citizen.

Siviwe Minyi is the father of two children, and a film and media student at the University of Cape Town. He acknowledges that online media is populated by suspicious characters, such as paedophiles and bullies intent on taking advantage of children. He’s also wary of TV. “Not everything is good about globalisation. TV broadcasters attempt to define a global standard of how we should perceive the world… and positive values are often compromised in the process,” says Minyi. But he is trying to help his children balance their use of media. “My daughter, who is 14, is on Facebook, and I also have a profile. We have an agreement about her use of Facebook. I am aware of the people on her friends list and what she posts. She gets to log in for 40 minutes after she has completed her homework

and she has the freedom to consult me if she’s not sure about someone or about an event she’s been invited to. We have frank discussions about the dangers of online media and about TV.” Glynnis Ann Southern, a registered counsellor and former teacher from Cape Town, is the mother of two boys aged 14 and 15. She believes her children have had plenty of input from both their parents and schools about the dangers and consequences of the media. “We’ve drilled them about restricted media like films and games and put the ball in their court because we can’t be available 24/7 to monitor their choices. Trust is important, but so far they’ve risen to the challenge – we check the history on their PCs regularly,” she adds.

playing safely and responsibly Keeping our children safe online and teaching them how to use technology responsibly is all about staying involved – not just as a watchdog, but as someone interested in what they discover and learn from the media. Parents and children need to understand that everything we do online leaves a virtual footprint. The digital playground is vast, and the people in it are mostly anonymous and invisible to us. This makes it easy to say and do things without considering the consequences. Does your child really want to say something mean online about a schoolteacher or another classmate? Information can be copied and shared online immediately. The flip side is that we shouldn’t necessarily believe everything we read in the media.

basic internet safety rules Children should: • never share their name, school, age, phone number or address; • never send pictures to strangers; • keep passwords private (and don’t choose passwords that are easy to crack, like pet names or nicknames); • never open emails from strangers; • only visit age-appropriate sites; • avoid using technology to cheat, and • be good cyber citizens – if they wouldn’t do something offline, they shouldn’t do it online.

safety nets It’s prudent to filter your child’s media exposure from an early age and then gradually give them more freedom as they mature. Consider downloading an internet browser like Kidzui, which is moderated by parents and teachers, and directs children to over 500 000 safe sites. Browsers like Internet Explorer and Firefox have content filters – enable them. You can also set the content filters for search engines such as Google. Don’t just assume the default settings are adequate. There are also other filters worth investigating, such as Net Nanny.

Check in regularly at commonsense.org, a helpful site for parents and teachers, packed with recommendations and advice.

Finally, it’s advisable to set limits for your children, whether they are surfing the net, playing an electronic game or watching something on TV. Set an example by the way you engage with the media. You may still have more influence than the information highways converging in the digital devices they struggle to switch off.

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resource

gone shopping SIMONE JEFFERY suggests some of the best markets to visit with your family, as well as upcoming Christmas markets you won’t want to miss.

Bamboo Farmers’ Market When 8am–1pm, every Saturday Where On the roof, 53 Rustenburg Rd, Melville Top features Situated within the Designer Lifestyle Centre, the market boasts 21 food producers from Johannesburg, with products ranging from raw honey, goats cheese, olives, coffee, vegetables, and bread. Enjoy the ambience of this open-air market, but bear in mind that it is weather-dependent. Downstairs from the market is Love Books, which offers a story-telling session for children while you peruse the stalls.

Find out more Carla Breytenbach: 082 042 2001 or visit bamboo-online.co.za

When 9am–5pm, every Sunday Where Hatfield Plaza, Burnett St, Pretoria Top features Becoming one of Pretoria’s trendiest shopping and entertainment venues, the Hatfield Market stocks funky handcrafted wares, unique garments, and proudly South African items.

On the first Sunday of every month, the market specialises in antiques and collectables, while on the last Sunday expect to find art and crafts by some of South Africa’s greatest talents. The market has a relaxed and safe environment which both children and parents will enjoy.

Find out more 011 442 4488 or visit craft.co.za

When 9am–5pm, every Sunday Where Upper Level, Mall of Rosebank, Cradock Ave Top features Situated on the roof of the Mall of Rosebank, the Rooftop is an established and acclaimed market, which turns a dull parking lot into a colourful bazaar of crafts, antiques, collectables and an assortment of gastronomic delights. With 400 stalls and a vibrant and relaxed atmosphere, the Rooftop is fun for the whole family.

Find out more 011 442 4488 or visit craft.co.za

Bryanston Organic and Natural Market When 9am–3pm, Thursdays and Saturdays; Moonlight Markets 5pm–9pm, Tuesdays Where Waldorf School, Mount St, Bryanston Top features This market caters for all your organic and craft needs. You will also find plants, photography and clothing and on Tuesdays, you can shop by candlelight in the after-hours Moonlight Market. The market offers child-specific activities with sand art, candle dipping and a gemstone scratch patch.

Find out more 011 706 3671 or visit bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za

B&B Markets Hillfox When 9am–5pm, every weekend and on public holidays Where Hendrik Potgieter Dr, Hillfox Value Centre, Weltevreden Park Top features Many regulars visit the Hillfox Market in search of that quality bargain buy. They also provide dedicated children’s entertainment.

On Sunday, the market hosts some of South Africa’s best performers in a free open-air concert.

Find out more 011 442 4488 or visit craft.co.za

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Festival of Love, Light & Friendship When 10am–3pm, 5 and 6 November Where Edenvale Community Centre, cnr 2nd St and Van Riebeeck Ave, Edenvale Top features This is the Community Centre’s last holistic fair of the year, with a diverse range of products and services to satisfy all your alternative healing and holistic needs. You will be able to pick up lotions and potions, prayer beads, T-shirts, sculptures, jewellery and even yoga equipment. Vegetarians and non-vegetarians are provided for with an array of delicious food. There is live entertainment, motivational lectures, meditations and a crossingover on offer. Children can play in the garden area and relax in the safe and secure venue. Entry is R10 and children under 10 enter free.

Find out more Danie and Berrie Minnaar: 083 417 7236, info@fayre.co.za or visit bodymindsoulfayre.co.za

Groenvoer Country Market When 9am–2pm, 26 and 27 November Where 410 Olifantsfontein Rd (on the R562, Midrand) Top features Not far from Johannesburg you’ll find a market with entertainment for the whole family. Search through the stalls for a bargain buy – possibly a book or a plant.

Unwind at the tea garden while your children take advantage of the many activities on offer such as archery, pony rides, face painting, a jumping castle, competitions and art and crafts. Some require a small fee, but there are free activities too.

Find out more 011 314 1211/2 magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

B&B Markets Hatfield

B&B Markets Rooftop

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resource

Irene Village Market When 9am–2pm, the second and last Saturday of every month. The Christmas market is on 26 November Where Smuts House Museum, 40 kilometres north of Johannesburg Top features Take a trip out of the hustle and bustle of the city for a drive out to the country where you’ll discover the Irene Village Market. Only original art and crafts are traded. The venue, situated on the banks of the Hennops River, has safe children’s entertainment and lawns where they can play.

Relax at the tea garden as your children explore the historic surroundings of the old Smuts House Museum.

Find out more: 012 667 1659 or visit irenemarket.co.za

Jozi Food Market When 8:30am–1:30pm, every Saturday Where Pirates Rugby Club, Braeside Rd, Parkhurst Top features An outdoor food market specialising in homegrown and natural products. You can satisfy all your gourmet food needs with their range of cheese, meat, and pickles. A jumping castle is also available.

Find out more 083 643 4555, 076 469 8995 or visit jozifoodmarket.co.za

Johannesburg Fresh Produce Market When 5am–11am, Monday–Saturday Where Heidelberg Rd, City Deep Top features This is the largest market of its kind in Africa. While it offers the best in fresh produce and vegetables, they plan to introduce meat, poultry and fish. Ample safe parking is available. Older children will enjoy the energy that such a large market has to offer.

Find out more: 011 992 8000 or visit joburgmarket.co.za

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Kamers Vol Geskenke When 28 November–3 December, 5pm–8pm on the opening night; 9am–6pm, Tuesday–Saturday Where Open Window School of Design, Irene Top features The market is a colourful celebration of local creativity and innovation. Kamers is not about finding that perfectly made, mass produced item, but about quality and originality. Expect to find jewellery, ceramics, décor accessories, children’s furniture, clothing, and handcrafted toys. Spend the day looking through the various rooms and their wares and munch on the delicious food available at the deli. Tickets cost R45. Book through Computicket (computicket.com) Find out more Visit kamersvol.com

Midrand Urban Market When 9am–2pm, on the first Saturday of the month Where 64 Main Rd (cnr Maude Rd) Top features There are over 130 traders to keep you browsing for hours. View the art exhibition, sample deli food and shop for various goods, from handcrafted jewellery to doll’s clothes. The venue has lush lawns, a children’s play area, jumping castles and face painting. Clamber Club is also on site to keep children entertained.

Find out more 082 810 8643 or visit urbanmarket.co.za

magazine joburg

Multiflora Flower Market When The auction is from 7am–11am, Monday–Saturday; other florists open until 5pm Where 3 Marjorie St, City Deep Top features A wholesale flower market where anyone can register as a buyer, from hawkers to florists, and wedding or party planners. The auction takes place bright and early, but if you don’t manage to make it there in time there are plenty of onsite florists and a coffee shop.

Find out more 011 613 4011 or visit multiflora.co.za

Stepping Stones Village Market

Neighbourgoods Market When 9am–4pm, every Saturday Where 73 Juta St, Braamfontein Top features An urban market, situated in the heart of Braamfontein, that offers baked goods, artisan products, organic veggies and fresh trout. There is a wide range of children’s clothing on offer and large communal tables available on the roof deck where the whole family can eat together.

Find out more Willem: 082 370 4075 or visit neighbourgoodsmarket.co.za

magazine joburg

When 9am–4pm on the first Saturday of every month; 25 November carols and craft market, 5pm–9pm; 26 November, 3 and 16 December special Christmas market, 9am–4pm Where 283 Honeydew Rd West, North Riding Top features Set in a tranquil and indigenous garden, the market sells handcrafted items including women and children’s clothing, bags and accessories. Numerous food stalls and up-market products are available. The children can walk around the lush gardens and play among the trees.

Find out more 082 681 9544 or visit steppingstonesvillagemarket.com

The Collectors’ Fair When 9:30am–1pm, 26 November Where Edenvale Community Centre Top features If cute and fluffy is your thing, be sure to attend The Collectors’ Fair, which focuses on adorable stuffed toys. Catch the teddy bears on parade and view imported collector’s teddy bears, cuddly soft teddies and many others. Other novelties and items are on sale for you to find the perfect Christmas gift or stocking filler. Admission is free and refreshments are on the house.

Find out more 011 828 7901 or info@vaharper.co.za

Welwitschia Country Market When 9am–5pm, Tuesday–Sunday and public holidays Where Damdoryn crossroads, 1km from the wall of the Hartbeespoort Dam Top features Situated under the shade of a few old trees and surrounding a small aviary is a quaint market, reminiscent of the days when you played in Wendy houses. The market has a rustic charm and you are sure to work up a hearty appetite as you stroll through the stalls. There is additional entertainment on Sundays and all public holidays. The market has clean toilets and a playground for the children.

Find out more 083 302 8085 or visit countrymarket.co.za

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mistletoe

Carols by Candlelight and Craft Market When 5pm, 25 November Where Elma Park Pre-Primary School, 17 Adjutant Rd, Elma Park, Edenvale Top features Join Elma Park School for an evening of carols by candlelight and search the craft market to find those special Christmas gifts for your loved ones.

The children can enjoy the jungle gym.

Find out more 011 453 9388 or visit elmaparkpreprimary.co.za

Hazel Food Christmas Market When 8am–2pm, 1–3 December Where Greenlyn Village Centre, 13th Ave, Menlo Park Top features You’ll feel the Christmas vibe with the twinkling of Christmas lights, the smell of a mouth-watering tart, and the sound of children playing. The Hazel Food Market offers a variety of fresh products. The market has a jumping castle, jungle gym and a delightful children’s corner to keep them busy for hours.

Find out more 082 554 5636 or visit hazelfoodmarket.co.za

Christmas Market When 8–11 November, 9am–7pm Where Bryanston Parallel Medium, cnr Sloane and Main St, Bryanston Top features The Kroonstad Polka Dot Christmas Market is coming to Johannesburg. There are top quality hand-crafted and homemade products available.

Wednesday is a special candlelight evening. The children can enjoy the variety of products on sale from around the country.

Find out more Kosike Staal: 082 771 3394

Glenshiel Christmas Fair When 9am–5pm, 4–6 November Where 19 Woolston Rd, The Ridge, Westcliff Top features Walk around the National Monument, take in the garden views and historic house while browsing through a wide range of stalls and delicious treats. Items such as Christmas decorations, kitchen gadgets, belts and wire gadgets from across the country are on sale. It costs R10, valid for multiple entries. Children will find walking around this beautiful National Monument a treat.

Find out more Tamara Lepine Williams: 011 784 8334 or tamara@salleamanger.co.za

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magazine joburg

& markets

Unica Christmas Market

Nickel Xmas Market When 9am–6pm, 25 November –11 December Where Paul Jungnickel Home, Plot 214, Lynnwood Rd, Zwavelpoort Top features The market is a job creation initiative for unemployed women and youth. Funds raised from the sale of handmade items are donated to the Paul Jungnickel Home. Children will love meeting Father Christmas and getting their photo taken.

Find out more 012 809 0020

When 28 and 29 October, 1–5 November, 9am–9pm; 30 October and 6 November, 9am–5pm Where Rembrandt Hall, LC de Villiers Sports Centre, South St, Hillcrest, Pretoria Top features The annual market aims to raise funds for those with autism, so that their lives may be improved. Run by volunteers and parents who have pre-selected the stalls to ensure that a variety of quality products are available, the market is definitely a community initiative. The market sells babyand child-specific gifts. There is a tea garden overlooking a lake, to ensure no one goes thirsty or hungry.

Find out more 012 460 6539 or visit unicamarket.co.za

Parkview Christmas Market When 25–27 November, times vary Where George Hay Park, cnr Waterford Ave and Lurgan Rd, Parkview Top features Walk around the market during the day and browse the many craft and food stalls. At night, enjoy the live music performances by school choirs and a traditional nativity performance on the Sunday. Proceeds collected from the market are donated to charity. Adults pay R30 and children pay per activity. The children can enjoy playing on the jumping castle, carousel, climbing wall or ice rink.

Find out more 011 646 9992 or georginah@inzalo.com

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books

a good read

for toddlers Bravo, Boris!

By Carrie Weston and Tim Warnes

best bedtim e story

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Solomon Crocodile

By Catherine Rayner

Rhinos Don’t Eat Pancakes

By Anna Kemp and Sara Ogilvie

(MacMillan Children’s Books, R105) Poor Solomon is looking for some fun but no one wants to play. The dragonflies tell him to buzz off, the storks get in a flap, and the hippo? Well, the less said about the hippo, the better. But then somebody else starts causing trouble, and for once it is not Solomon. Could it be the perfect pal for a lonely crocodile? Is double trouble looming? This is another snappy, happy, stunning new book from the awardwinning Catherine Rayner. She won the prestigious British Kate Greenaway award for an outstanding illustrated children’s book in 2009 for Harris Finds his Feet.

(Simon and Schuster, R90) This is a delightful story from the creators of Dogs Don’t Do Ballet. A purple rhino escapes from the zoo and makes himself at home in Daisy’s house. When Daisy reports this phenomenon to her parents, they don’t believe her. They are too busy to listen to such silliness, they say. Daisy has no choice but to befriend the large, lilac creature, and together they have loads of fun. Until Daisy’s mom and dad decide to take her to the zoo to see a real rhino. Imagine their surprise when they learn that a purple rhino has escaped from the zoo… magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPH: anniejoubert.co.za / CLOTHING BY: Shana Feigin

(Oxford University Press, R120) Miss Chuck takes the class camping, and everyone is very excited. Boris is the biggest, bravest and most helpful camper of them all. He is ready to step in whenever his little classmates find themselves in trouble. Everyone needs a friend like Boris. Bravo, Boris! follows on from the success of Oh, Boris!, which has sold over 400 000 copies internationally.

Apart from the beloved Boris, children are sure to enjoy the cast of entertaining characters as well as the theme of loyalty and teamwork.

for preschoolers

Olivia Goes to Venice

By Ian Falconer (Simon & Schuster Children’s Books, R100) In her first brand-new adventure in three years, Olivia takes her discerning eye for style to beautiful Venice on a family vacation that involves dodging pigeons in the Piazza San Marco, gorging on gelato, and barely staying afloat in a gondola. Olivia is her usual funny and dramatic self: due to her low blood sugar the family constantly needs to indulge in gelato; she believes it is necessary for the family to move to a palazzo on the Grand Canal; and she sighs dramatically as they pass the Bridge of Sighs in a gondola. This book can be enjoyed by children as young as three and up to seven years of age.

Fancy Nancy’s Marvelous Mother’s Day Brunch

By Jane O’Connor and Robin Preiss Glasser (Harper Collins Children’s Books, R70) Nancy plans the perfect Mother’s Day in this new lift-the-flap book. She pulls out all the stops to give her mother the best celebration of all time, but will everything go according to plan? The book includes 13 flaps that open to reveal hidden surprises guaranteed to delight all Fancy Nancy fans. The text is also full of Fancy Nancy’s quirky explanations: “an occasion is a fancy way to say an important day”, “a bouquet is fancy for a bunch of flowers” and “brunch is a fancy meal that is half breakfast and half lunch”.

Marshall Armstrong is New to Our School

By David Mackintosh (Harper Collins Children’s Books, R90) In this book, the young narrator makes it clear that the new boy in class is very different from anyone else. Marshall’s ear looks like a shell. His laces are straight and not criss crossed. His freckles look like birdseed on his nose. The narrator is convinced that poor Marshall will never fit in. That is until he invites the whole class to his birthday party, and everyone finds out that Marshall Armstrong is actually cool.

Children will learn how wonderful it is to be different, and to never judge a book by its cover.

for early graders

a sout h african twist

Aesop’s Fables

By Beverley Naidoo and Piet Grobler

(Human & Rousseau, R150) A little mouse saves the life of a great lion; hungry Grasshopper, too lazy to store food, gets no mercy from the industrious ants; crafty Jackal tricks Klipspringer to escape death – and then is himself tricked by the cock and the dog. Here are 16 of Aesop’s wise, witty and timeless fables, portrayed for the first time in an African setting. Aesop may have been of African origin, inspiring Beverley Naidoo and Piet Grobler to give the animals of our continent the starring roles in this exciting interpretation of one of the world’s great classics.

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for preteens and teens for early graders

James and the Giant Peach

By Roald Dahl and Quentin Blake

win a book s et

(Puffin Books, R130) To celebrate the 50th anniversary of this Dahl classic, Puffin Books has brought out a delightful new edition by one of the world’s greatest storytellers. With its stunning illustrations by Blake, children from as young as seven can now enjoy this magical tale.

We are giving away one set of the Roald Dahl Phizz-Whizzing Collection valued at R1 000 to a Joburg’s Child reader. To enter, email your details to win@childmag.co.za with “JHB Roald Dahl win” in the subject line before 30 November 2011. Only one entry per reader. For more info on the books, visit penguinbooks.co.za or followthatpeach.com

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The Pachyderm Tree

By Jill Morsbach (Shuter & Shooter, R64) After an accident in a game park, spoilt city boy Frankie Frans finds that he is able to “mind talk” with animals. He is persuaded by a group of desperate elephants to lead them on a quest to find the Pachyderm Tree of the ancient elephant legend. The elephants have no choice – if they do not find the tree and eat of its magical fruit, a terrible fate awaits them. Tragedy strikes and blood is shed as elephant meets man. And then, as the clouds move away, a miracle unfolds. This is an exciting read for preteens that deals with conservation issues that young readers can relate to.

Anne of Avonlea and Kidnapped

By L.M. Montgomery and Robert Louis Stevenson (Oxford University Press, R75 each) This publishing house has revamped a collection of children’s classics. Included are the stories of Anne, now 16 and ready to take her place in Avonlea society as a teacher at her old school and the Stevenson classic, Kidnapped, where orphan David Balfour is thrown overboard a prison ship and he sets off to find justice and revenge with wanted rebel, Alan Breck.

Other classics in the series include Black Beauty, Little Women, Treasure Island, The Jungle Book, Pride and Prejudice and many more.

Shadow Wave

By Robert Muchamore (Hodder & Stoughton, R166) This is the last book in the first Cherub series, which is widely popular among teenagers. Cherub agents are highly trained professionals with one essential advantage: adults never suspect that children are spying on them. In Shadow Wave a tsunami causes massive devastation to a tropical island and its governor sends in the bulldozers to knock down villages, replacing them with luxury hotels. Our hero, James Adams, is forced to get involved as things get out of hand, and the big question is: is this the end for Cherub? For more crackling tension and high-octane drama, invest in the preceeding 11 books as well as Series 2, of which three novels have been published this year.

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for us

parenting books You and Your Tween: managing the years from 9 to 13

By Hollie Smith and Netmums

Starting Over, One Cake at a Time

By Gesine Bullock-Prado (Allison & Busby, R185) She is the younger sister of actress Sandra Bullock, but don’t expect her to reveal her famous sibling’s secrets. As head of her celebrity sister’s production company, Bullock-Prado had a closet full of designer clothes and the ear of all the influential studio heads, but she was miserable.

The only solace she found was in her secret hobby: baking. With every sugary, buttery confection to emerge from her oven, Gesine took one step away from her glittering, empty existence, and one step closer to her true destiny. Before long, she and her husband left the trappings of their Hollywood lifestyle to open their dream bakery in the stunning Vermont Mountains.

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From the Dead

By Mark Billingham (Penguin Books, R135) A decade ago, Alan Langford’s charred remains were discovered in his burnt-out car. His wife, Donna, was found guilty of conspiracy to murder her husband and sentenced to 10 years in prison.

But just before she is released, Donna receives a nasty shock: an anonymous letter containing a photo of her husband.

The man she hates with every fibre of her being, the man she paid to have murdered, seems very much alive and well. How is it possible? Where is he, who sent the photo and why? This is a gripping and relentlessly paced crime masterpiece, and it provides the most shocking case yet in the dangerous career of detective inspector Tom Thorne.

(Headline Book Publishing, R180) What happens when your child really starts to grow up?

Between the ages of nine and 13, your relationship with your child can get particularly challenging. As your child is beginning the tough transition to adulthood, it can be difficult to adjust to their growing independence and changing behaviour. With words of wisdom from experts, this book offers real advice on everything from education to puberty. How much time should your tween spend on the computer and when should you approach the subject of sex?

These are just some of the questions tackled in this handy guide.

Toddler Sense

By Ann Richardson

parent ing made easy

(Metz Press, R145) Toddlerhood is a time of tremendous growth and development. It is also a time of tantrums and conflict. Knowing what constitutes normal toddler behaviour will help you accept and respect this and will go a long way towards effective, guiltfree and realistic parenting. Your toddler learns through his senses, and to guide him, you need to “practise wisdom with sense”. Now fully updated and expanded to include the latest relevant research, this ever popular follow-up to Baby Sense tells you how to recognise and understand your toddler’s unique sensory profile, manage stimulation to avoid overload, solve bedtime battles with age-appropriate sleep training and prepares you for a host of other issues you’ll need to deal with.

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You can also access the calendar online at

what’s on in november

childmag.co.za

A guide to keep you in the know and entertained this month.

Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY.

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special events

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FUN for children

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only for parents

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bump, baby & tot in tow

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how to help

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SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Walk and talk on birds Learn more about our feathered friends.

Black Tie Comedy Festival An all-star American line-up gets you laughing away the stress.

Baby Expo MamaMagic All your 0–6 year old’s needs are considered under one roof.

Cotlands You can donate time, money or goodies to help someone less fortunate.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Enjoy carols by candlelight and a visit by donkeys and Father Christmas.

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SPECIAL EVENTS 1 tuesday Book Fair Hundreds of books to discover and every book bought helps get free books for your school. Time: 7:30am–2pm. Venue: Waterberg Academy, Vaalwater. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 907 1573, info@books2you.co.za or visit books2you.co.za

5 saturday

1 November – Book Fair

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My Trash, Your Treasure jumble sale Buying secondhand goods can be lots of fun. It saves you money, energy and resources and is more eco-friendly.

Support your local thrift shops and jumble sales. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Pretoria National Botanical Garden, 2 Cussonia Ave, Brummeria. Cost: adults R22, students R12, children R8 entry. Contact: 083 562 5249 or greenmelilly@gmail.com Doggie Halloween Party Bring your dog to a Mexican-themed Halloween party. Enjoy dinner, a bonfire and a camp-out to celebrate Guy Fawkes Day. Prizes are awarded for best dressed. Booking essential. No tickets are sold at the door. Also 6 November. Time: 5pm. Venue: Walkhaven, plot 77, Zwartkop.

Cost: adults R120 (dinner only) or R150 (dinner and breakfast), children R60 (dinner only) or R75 (dinner and breakfast). Contact Ashleigh: 071 212 9955, info@walkhaven. co.za or visit walkhaven.co.za

11 friday One Day on Earth Participate in this year’s 11–11–11 initiative by documenting your one day on earth and add it to the growing archive created by citizens around the world. The aim is to “showcase the amazing diversity, conflict, tragedy and triumph that occur in one day”. For more info: visit onedayonearth.org

12 saturday The Annual Lipizzaner Ball Come dressed in your finest to their biggest

fundraiser for the safety and welfare of the Lipizzaner horses. The dress code is black tie. There’s delicious food and plenty of dancing on the night. Time: 7pm. Venue: 1 Dahlia Rd, Kyalami. Cost: tables of 10, R6 500. Contact Judy: 083 601 2104 or tarragon@mweb.co.za

16 wednesday Black Tie Comedy Festival It’s an allAmerican comedy festival to laugh away the week’s stress. The evening’s host is Godfrey, whose credits include some of

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An intimate evening with Jonathan Butler Cape Town’s favourite son returns for a unique show with intimate behind-themusic stories about growing up in South Africa, without forgetting about all the classics. Time: 8pm. Venue: The Big Top Arena, Carnival City Casino. Cost: from R185. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

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20 sunday Carols by candlelight at the zoo Pack your picnic baskets for an evening of carol singing. Time: 6pm.

Venue: The Pretoria Zoo, 232 Boom St, Pretoria. Cost: adults R49, children R33.

Contact: 012 328 3265, info@friendsofthezoo.co.za or visit fotz.co.za

23 wednesday

your favourites such as 30 Rock, Soul Plane and Zoolander. Other comedians involved are Aries Spears and Reese Waters. Also 19 November. Time: varies. Venue: The Teatro at Montecasino. Cost: from R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

Carols by candlelight Enjoy carols by candlelight in the Paddocks, with donkeys joining in and a special visit from Father Christmas. Time: 6pm–9pm. Venue: The Society for Animals in Distress, The Paddocks, 20 Moerdyk St, Vorna Valley, Midrand. Cost: adults R25, children R15. Contact Bev: 078 458 9143 or visit animalsindistress.ws

19 saturday

24 thursday

Christmas Market A short drive out of Johannesburg, and on the grounds of the Voortrekker Monument, there is an antique and collectables market. It takes place on the roof of the large amphitheatre and offers an interesting array of products as well as refreshments. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Voortrekker Monument, Pretoria. Contact Geraldine: 012 326 6770 or marketing@ voortrekkermon.org.za

Baby Expo MamaMagic Everything that parents or expectant parents of 0–6 year olds need is under one roof at this year’s Baby Expo. There is entertainment by everyone’s favourite purple dinosaur, Barney, a dedicated play area, a lounge where you could find yourself winning an all expenses paid pregnancy, a changing room, baby clinic, identity bracelets to ensure the little ones don’t get lost, a

5 November – My Trash, Your Treasure jumble sale

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nutritional centre and even an area to park your prams. Ends 27 November. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: The Coca-Cola Dome.

Cost: adults R60, children under 10 free (limited to two children). For more info: visit thebabyexpo.co.za or book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

25 friday Carol picnic Grab your picnic basket, chairs and blankets for an evening with the talented Joe Niemand. Picnic baskets for the evening can be ordered from nearby restaurants. Time: 6pm–8pm.

Venue: Piazza, Irene Village Mall, cnr Nellmapius Dr and Van Ryneveld Ave, Irene. Cost: free. Contact Martilize: 012 662 4446 or visit irenemall.co.za

South Africa for four shows. With the immense success of all five of his albums and the latest album being a folk and classical mix, the evening promises to be memorable. Also 27 November. Time: 8pm, Saturday; 4pm, Sunday. Venue: Sun City Superbowl. Cost: from R416. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Children’s weekend There is plenty of entertainment this weekend to keep the children occupied for hours. They’ll love the stilt walkers, jugglers and multicoloured palettes of the face painters, and can use all their energy on the jumping castle or by exploring the Jelly Tots maize.

There is a special appearance by Skoobs the Toucan and the Jelly Tots man.

26 saturday Sisters with Blisters Show your support by taking part in this year’s fun walk. Bring your sisters, mothers, brothers and fathers for a 4km or 8km stroll. Wear your heels to show your support for women and children who are victims of abuse. Entries close 18 November. Time: 8km starts 7:30am, 4km with dogs starts 8:30am, 4km without dogs starts 9:30am. Venue: The Campus, Bryanston. Cost: R100, dogs and children under 12 free. For more info: visit sisterswithblisters.co.za An evening with Josh Groban American singer/songwriter Josh Groban returns to

27 November – Art in the Garden

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calendar Also 27 November. Time: 10am–4pm.

Venue: Montecasino Outdoor Piazza.

Cost: standard parking and Bird Gardens entrance fees apply; children’s activity area is free. Contact: 011 510 7000 or visit montecasino.co.za

27 sunday Art in the Garden Come and view the art show set in the beautiful and serene surrounds of the Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden. Ten percent of all sales go to the development fund for the Botanical Garden. Time: 8am–6pm. Venue: Malcolm Rd, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R25, scholars R10, children under 6 free. Contact: botsoc@sisulugarden.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Artjamming Art studio for children and adults. Time: 9am–5:30pm, weekdays; 10am–3pm, Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Lonehill Shopping Centre or Blubird Shopping Centre, Athol. Cost: varies.

Contact Lonehill: 011 465 5778 or Athol: 011 786 0599 or visit artjamming.co.za Art of Play Hands-on, creative studio for children aged 2–12 years. Time: 10am–12pm, Monday–Saturday. Venue: 3 Forssman Close, Barbeque Downs, Kyalami.

Cost: R100. Contact: 071 830 0918, info@ artofplay.co.za or visit artofplay.co.za Children’s Art A range of techniques are covered in the class. Topics include elements of art and principles of design.

Mediums vary from one project to the next. For children 6–16 years old, every Thursday until 17 November. Time: varies.

26 sat

Canon creative photography competition Canon calls for entrants to submit their photographic interpretation of one or more of the five themes: candlelight, circles, through a child’s eye, it’s in the detail and toy stories. Entries close 12 November. Selected entries will be exhibited online and in the gallery at the Canon Expo in December. Visit their website for terms, conditions and specifications: csaexpo.co.za

Venue: Seedpod Studio, cnr Cedar and Valley Rd, Fourways. Cost: R150 per class excluding materials (paid per term). Contact: 011 465 0375, info@seedpodstudio.co.za or visit seedpodstudio.co.za Das Clay Children learn to use and work with clay. 1 and 3 November. Time: children 4–6 years, 1:30pm–2:30pm; children 7–13 years, 3pm–5pm. Venue: Field and Study Centre, Louise Ave, Parkmore, Sandton.

Cost: 4–6 year olds R100 per class, 7–13 year olds R200 per class, including all materials, juice and biscuits. Contact Catherine: 083 683 5076, catherine@artfundamentals. co.za or visit artfundamentals.co.za Johannesburg Planetarium Explore the skies with the planetarium’s cosmos shows. Gain an understanding of the movement of the moon, visit the night sky throughout the different seasons, and learn about constellations and how star signs came about. Time: 8pm, Monday–Friday; 10:30am and 3pm, Saturday. Venue: Wits campus, Braamfontein. Cost: adults R32; children and students R20. Contact: 011 717 1392 or visit planetarium.co.za

classes, talks and workshops

Make your own teddy bear Skilled instructors from Teddy Bears on Parade offer a free beginner’s class over three months on making teddy bears. Children from age 7 can participate if accompanied by an adult. Booking essential. 26 November. Time: 9:30am–1pm.

Venue: hall 5, Edenvale Community Centre, cnr Van Riebeeck Ave and 2nd St, Edenvale. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 828 7901 or visit honeydewbears.co.za

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Beading and looming A table has been set up where children can make their own necklaces and bracelets under the guidance of Jean Rathbone. There are also looming lessons for children. Booking is essential. Time: 9am–6pm, Tuesday–Friday.

Venue: Ngwenya Glass Village, off Beyers Naudé Dr and R114, Muldersdrift. Cost: R150 per lesson, including beads and needle. Contact Jean: 082 640 5650 or visit shadesofngwenya.co.za Chainmail jewellery courses Learn how to make beautiful pieces of jewellery for gifts or spoil yourself. 19 and 26 November.

Time: adult classes, 9:30am–12:30pm; children’s classes, 2pm–4pm. Venue: Ngwenya Glass Village, off Beyers Naudé Dr and R114, Muldersdrift. Cost: adults R195, children R100, including all materials and refreshments. Contact: 083 655 3237 Children’s meditation classes These classes aim to develop and nurture the positive qualities in children through

meditation and positive thinking. No registration required. For ages 5–12 years.

13 November. Time: 9am–11:30am. Venue: 4 Francis Rd, Blairgowrie, Randburg. Cost: R15. Contact Mila: 011 326 1982, info@ meditation.org.za or visit meditation.org.za Jock’s Studio craft classes Children can try their hand at various craft activities, such as fabric painting, mosaics, wood art and ceramic painting. While the children are busy being creative, parents can browse through the village shops, watch the glassblowing and pick up unique gifts. Booking essential. Time: 9am–4:30pm, Monday– Sunday. Venue: Ngwenya Glass Village, off Beyers Naudé Dr and R114, Muldersdrift.

Cost: R25–R40. Contact: 083 611 4350 or visit jocksstudio.co.za Little Cooks Club Start getting your children to experience the joys of cooking.

Every week they follow a different recipe, alternating between healthy and naughty.

The lessons last for one hour and take place on weekdays and weekends. Time: varies.

Venue: visit their website for a class in your area. Cost: weekday R85, Saturday R95. For more info: headoffice@littlecooksclub.co.za or visit littlecooksclub.co.za Tots n Pots workshops Parents or grandparents can spend a day in the kitchen with their child as they learn how to cook delicious recipes. 5, 12 and 19 November. Time: tbc. Venue: Tots n Pots, Norscot Manor Recreation Centre, 16B Penguin Dr, Norscot, Fourways. Cost: R820 per term (10 classes) or R90 per class.

Contact Janine: 072 086 6213, janine@ totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com

DottyPotty Nursery School open week Bring your children to meet the teachers and view the school to see if it’s the place for your child, aged 3 months– 6 years. 21–25 November. Time: 8am– 4pm. Venue: 4 Vernon Rd, Morninghill, Bedfordview. Contact Angela: 011 615 6504 or dpns001@gmail.com Family fun photo shoot Colette Baillie Photography is hosting a fun family photo shoot. Come and support a good cause as 10 percent of all proceeds are donated to Jo’burg Child Welfare. 6 November.

Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Norscot Manor Recreation Centre, Fourways. Cost: from R500. Contact Colette: 083 779 7005 or cbphotos@telkomsa.net Friday family dinners Triba holds their monthly family Friday night dinners. They entertain your children while you sit back and enjoy a candlelight dinner. The children have their own playroom and dining room.

11 November. Time: 6:30pm–10:30pm.

Venue: Triba, 39 St Albans Ave, Craighall Park. Contact Andrea: 011 501 4740 or info@tri-ba.com Friends of the Rail: Cullinan Take the whole family on a wonderful train trip to the mining town of Cullinan. Spend the day on a mine tour or visit the craft shops and museums. 18–20 and 25–27 November.

Time: 8:30am. Venue: Hermanstad Railway Station. Cost: adults R175, children 2–6 years R75, children 7–12 years R100, children 13–18 years R125. Contact: 082 098 6186, visit friendsoftherail.com or book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Lego Brick Festival The popular, classic children’s toy, Lego, shines in the spotlight.

For the first time in South Africa, exhibitors show off their Lego creations and collections for everyone to see. 4–5 November. Time: 9am–8pm, 4 November; 9am–6pm, 5 November. Venue: Engenius Toys, Irene Village Mall. Cost: free entry. Contact Gerhard: 012 662 0818, gerhardkorf@ gmail.com or visit engeniustoys.com Traditional Sunday carvery lunch The Riviera on Vaal celebrates family values every Sunday with a traditional lunch, including an afternoon cruise on the Petit Verdot at 4pm (present restaurant bill at Petit Verdot). Bookings essential. Terms and conditions apply. Time: 12pm. Venue:

family outings Crazy Cow tea garden It is situated in Stimustation Child Centre, which is an all-in-one child centre. The venue incorporates Kindermusik, occupational therapy, speech therapy, physiotherapy, a child psychologist, a play therapist and play school. Time: 9am–4pm, Tuesday–Friday; 9am–1pm, Saturday. Venue: Stimustation, 44 Alexandra St, Doringkloof, Centurion.

Contact: 012 667 5199, info@stimustation. co.za or visit stimustation.co.za

4–5 November – Lego Brick Festival

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Footloose Trout Farm Trout, bass, barbel and carp fishing for the whole family. The venue offers a play area, swimming pool, restaurant and picnic facilities. Time: 7:30am–5pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: plot 101, William Nicol Dr, R511, Fourways.

Cost: adults R55, children R45, rod hire R35. Contact: 011 466 9911, kim@kendals.co.za or visit footloosetroutfarm.co.za

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Matthews Restaurant, Riviera on Vaal Hotel.

Cost: R165 per person; children under 12 pay half price. Contact reservations: 016 420 1300, reservations@rivieraonvaal.co.za or visit rivieraonvaal.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Bushbabies Monkey Sanctuary Join a guided tour through indigenous forests where you can view a variety of exotic primates. Time: 9am–4pm, Monday– Sunday. Venue: R512, Hartbeespoort. Cost: adults R195, children R95. Contact: 012 258 9908/9 or visit monkeysanctuary.co.za Chameleon Village Reptile Park Anacondas, cobras and diamond-back rattlers are just a few of the venomous creatures you can see. There is also a host of activities for children. Time: 8:30am–5pm, Monday–Sunday. Venue: N4, Hartbeespoort.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 012 253 1451 or visit chameleonvillage.co.za Croc City Crocodile Farm View crocodiles and hatchlings at close range. Time: 9am–4:30pm, Monday–Sunday. Venue: Old Pretoria Rd, Nietgedacht. Cost: adults R55, children R30. Contact: 083 657 7561, info@ croccity.co.za or visit croccity.co.za Elemental maze A traditional maze, constructed of reed walls containing five secret gardens themed around the elements (earth, air, fire and water) is now open.

Children under 15 must be accompanied by an adult. Moonlight Mazes open on

12 November. Time: 10am–5pm, Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Boland St, just off Beyers Naudé Dr. Cost: adults R80, children R60, family ticket (two adults, two children) R250. Contact: 073 795 2174, enquiries@maizemaze.co.za or visit honeydewmazes.co.za Elephant Sanctuary Guided tours give you the opportunity to touch and feed elephants in an indigenous environment.

Time: 8am–4pm, Monday–Sunday. Venue: R512, Hartbeespoort. Cost: adults R425– R525, children R215–R250. Contact: 012 258 0423, elephantsanctuary@mweb.co.za or visit elephantsanctuary.co.za Gifts from the herb garden Learn about what you can create with herbs.

Bring your children along to plant their own herbs, decorate a label and make a scented herb sachet. 12 November.

Time: 2:30pm. Venue: Random Harvest Indigenous Nursery, plot 57, College Rd, off Beyers Naudé Dr, Muldersdrift. Cost: adult R50, children R25; including tea.

Contact David:082 553 0598 or visit rhn.co.za Irene Dairy This farm boasts a working dairy where you can see the process behind the making of milk and cream. You can visit the baby calves, buy decadent goodies in the shop or enjoy a meal at the restaurant.

Time: 8am–5pm, Monday–Sunday. Venue: Nellmapius Rd, Irene. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 012 667 2634, barn@ireneestate. co.za or visit irenefarm.co.za

Ludwig’s Rose Farm and Butterfly Garden This expansive rose farm boasts thousands of roses as well as a butterfly garden where you can view the only freeflying butterfly display in Gauteng. Spiced Coffee restaurant offers a varied menu.

There is also a large children’s play area.

Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Sunday. Venue: plot 61, Haakdoornlaagte, Wallmanstahl.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 012 544 0144, talkingroses@ludwigsroses.co.za or visit ludwigsroses.co.za Mystic Monkeys and Feathers Wildlife Park This animal kingdom is home to several species of exotic animals such as white-handed gibbons, cotton-top tamarins and more. The sanctuary features walkways and water features and makes for a great family outing. Time: 9am–4pm, Monday– Sunday. Venue: Tshukudu Lodge, 80km from Pretoria and 100km from Johannesburg,

Elemental maze, every Saturday and Sunday

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12 November – Gifts from the herb garden

N1 highway Boekenhoutskloof/ Hammanskraal turn off. Cost: adults R100, children R50. Contact Christa: 082 566 4929, bookings@gl.co.za or visit gl.co.za Night spider and scorpion walk in the garden Join Astri Leroy and other spider enthusiasts for a walk and get up close and personal with creepy crawlies. Booking essential. 12 November. Time: 6pm. Venue: Walter Sisulu National Botanical Gardens.

Cost: members R30, non-members R60, children under 12 half price. Contact Karen: 011 958 5177, botsoc@sisulugarden.co.za or visit botanicalsociety.org.za

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Saturday specials on Melville Koppies Join John Freer as he guides you around the Koppies talking about birding or Carol Knoll as she talks about flora. Booking and pre-payment is essential. Bird walk: 12 November. Flora walk: 19 November.

Time: bird walk 6:30am; flora walk 8:30am.

Venue: walks start at Marks Park Sports Club’s parking, Judith Rd, Emmarentia.

Cost: R50. Contact: 011 482 4797, fomk@ mk.org.za or visit mk.org.za The Ann van Dyk Cheetah Centre Offers a three-hour guided wildlife tour during which you can view cheetah, African wild dog, antelope and birds. Booking

essential. No children under 6 years old.

Time: varies, visit their website to book.

Venue: De Wildt, Hartbeespoort. Cost: R270–R380, depending on tour. Contact: 012 504 9906 or visit dewildt.co.za Van Gaalen cheese-making tours This farm has a shop with many cheese varieties. They also offer picnics beside the river or you can eat at their restaurant.

Time: 8am–5pm, daily; closed on Tuesday.

Venue: R512, Skeerpoort. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 012 207 1289, info@vangaalen. co.za or visit vangaalen.co.za Walk and talk on birds Bring your binoculars and bird books for a walk around the nursery with André Marx as he talks to you about birds and their habitat.

Enjoy a delicious breakfast afterwards. 19 November. Time: 6:45am–10am. Venue: Random Harvest Indigenous Nursery, plot 57, College Rd, off Beyers Naudé Dr, Muldersdrift. Cost: R75, including breakfast.

Contact: 082 553 0598 or visit rhn.co.za

supervised entertainment area at the Kids’ World playground. Time: 9:30am–5pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: cnr Marcia and Ernest Oppenheimer Rd, Bruma. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 622 9648 Christmas Market The market has many interesting items on offer to find that perfect stocking filler or a gift for a loved one. While having your presents wrapped and taking time out in the tea garden you can spoil yourself with a pedicure, manicure or massage. Proceeds from the tea garden and wrapping are donated to Flaviction Day Care Centre in Primrose, for underprivileged children. 5 November.

Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: 29 Hamilton Rd, Hurlingham. Cost: adults R15, children free. Contact: alisonmandy@gmail.com or maraschin@mweb.co.za Christmas Moonlight Market and carols by candlelight Stoneridge Shopping Centre is providing entertainment for the whole family. Spend the warm

markets Bruma Market World Curios, secondhand clothing, knock-offs and much more – as one of the largest markets in Johannesburg, Bruma offers you a wide variety of items both locally and internationally manufactured. Most of the stalls are covered and operational, come rain or shine. Dancers and musicians perform free in a small entertainment arena. Children can spend the day in the safety of the

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tues

Christmas Fair Need some ideas for those perfect stocking fillers, or looking to find something unique? Take a look around this early Christmas fair; you are sure to find something that tickles your fancy. 8–13 November. Time: 10am–4pm.

Venue: 305 Long Ave, Ferndale.

Contact Nina: 083 583 5383 or visit outofthebox.org.za

summer night with art, crafts, delicious treats, carols, a dance performance, a tree lighting ceremony and Father Christmas.

2 December. Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: Stoneridge Shopping Centre, Greenstone Park, Edenvale. Cost: free entry. Contact Annamarie: 011 452 5721, 087 550 0237 annamarie@stoneridge.co.za or visit stoneridge.co.za Festival of Love, Light and Friendship There are diverse products and services to satisfy all your alternative healing and holistic needs. You can pick up lotions and potions, prayer beads, T-shirts, sculptures, jewellery and even yoga equipment.

Vegetarians and non-vegetarians are provided for with delicious food. There is live entertainment, motivational lectures, meditations and a crossing-over. 5–6 November. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: Edenvale Community Centre, 2nd St, cnr Van Riebeeck Ave, Edenvale. Cost: R10, children under 10 free. Contact Danie or Berrie: 083 417 7236, info@fayre.co.za or visit bodymindsoulfayre.co.za Fordsburg Square Fleamarket The streets buzz with people from all walks of life at this market filled with tradition and history. It’s a popular spot for bargain hunters and people in search of unique items not found in mainstream malls.

Time: 8am–5pm, Monday–Friday; 2:30pm,

Saturday. Venue: cnr Bree and Main St, Fordsburg. Contact: 011 838 6752 Fresh Family Market If you’re looking for fresh food, handcrafted jewellery and fantastic gift ideas, this is a good bet.

Time: 10am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Cedar Square, Cedar Rd, Fourways. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 465 0910 or visit cedarsquare.co.za.

Killarney Whole Food Market An eclectic mix of cultures, the Killarney market started with an influence by Poles, Romanians, Bulgarians and other Eastern Europeans. Now there is also fresh produce from a Lesotho farmer and you can dine on Thai, African or Indian cuisine in the food court. Time: 9am–3pm, every Thursday.

Venue: Killarney Mall, 60 Riviera Rd, Killarney. Contact: 011 646 4657 Kwa Mai Mai If you’re looking for something different then this is definitely the place for you. It’s an ethnic medicine market, so you’ll need a strong stomach to try some of the unusual tonics. You can also get a sangoma to throw the bones for you, or treat yourself to a steaming plate of shisanyama and pap to wind down the afternoon. Operating hours vary; call to make sure they’re open. Venue: cnr Anderson and Berea St, Jeppestown.

Contact: 011 833 7344 Market on Main If you are interested in food and design, then the Market on Main won’t let you down. The market has an urban chic atmosphere surrounded by a blend of commercial, studio, retail and residential spaces. It’s a hub for Johannesburg’s creative community and has a wide variety on offer. Time: 7pm–11pm, first Thursday of the month; 10am–3pm, every Sunday. Venue: 264 Fox St, City and Suburban. For more info: visit marketonmain.co.za Walkerville Farmers and Crafters Market There are 60 stalls to supply you with crafts and fresh produce. Shop for cakes, dolls’ clothes, wooden toys or books. Children’s activities include pony rides, a jungle gym, a sand pit and a tree house. Credit cards are accepted, dogs are welcome and parking is free. Time: 9am–3pm, every Saturday. Venue: 112 Main Rd, Walkerville (on the R82). Cost: free entry. Contact Gail: 079 076 7680 or visit wfmarket.co.za Your Family Creative Crafts and Arts Expo The crafters present the latest in scrapbooking, beading, embroidery and jewellery, and you can learn something new from one of their many free demonstrations. 4–6 November. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Emperor’s Palace, 64 Jones Rd, Kempton Park. Cost: adults R35, children under 12 enter free. Contact: 086 038 3689, angelique@eventx.co.za or visit creativecraftexpo.co.za

26 November–17 December – Marionettes perform He Came from the Father

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12 November – Phineas and Ferb: Across the Second Dimension

on stage and screen Aladdin Jnr. Welcome to the city of Agrabah where every beggar has a story and every camel has a tale. All the favourite characters are in this stage adaptation of the Disney hit, including Aladdin, Jasmine and the genie. Filled with magic, mayhem and flying carpet rides, this show is sure to be a hit. 14 November–23 December.

Time: 10:30am and 2:30pm, Monday– Saturday. Venue: National Children’s Theatre, 3 Junction Ave, Parktown. Cost: adults R90, children R80. For more info: visit jyt.co.za Baby Jake Join Baby Jake and his large family as they embark on many adventures in and around the windmill. This programme combines live action and 2D animation to bring the characters to life and activate your child’s imagination. Starts 7 November.

Time: 7:15am and 3:15pm on CBeebies, DStv channel 306 Janice Honeyman’s Cinderella Packed with comedy, stunning sets and beautiful costumes, this popular pantomime features an all-star South African cast that brings the much-loved characters to life. 4 November–30 December. Time: varies. Venue: The Mandela, Joburg Theatre Complex, Braamfontein. Cost: R190–R290, with discounts for groups of 10-plus. Contact: 0861 670 670 or visit joburgtheatre.com Marionettes perform He Came from the Father This Christmas story is told with small figures on a table. For children from 4 years old. Booking is essential. 26 November– 17 December. Time: 3pm. Venue: Untangled Marionettes, 28 Pallinghurst Rd, Westcliff.

Cost: R60. Contact Alida: 082 446 4324 or untangledmarionettes@vodamail.co.za Nuzzle and Scratch They return to entertain your children with their antics. This season sees them working in a fancy-dress shop.

Time: 8:15am, 12:20pm, 2:30pm, daily on CBeebies, DStv channel 306 Phineas and Ferb: Across the Second Dimension Phineas and Ferb go on their biggest journey to date as they jet off into another dimension with their pet platypus to stop the evil Dr Doofenshmirtz.

Premieres 12 November. Time: 10:30am on Disney XD, DStv channel 304 The Mini Adventures of Winnie the Pooh All your favourite characters return for more fun and adventure. Premieres 7 November. Time: 9:15am on Disney Junior, DStv channel 309 Tribal Dancing This is a vibrant show with Zulu warriors and maidens, accompanied by upbeat African rhythms. Show runs for magazine joburg

one hour. Time: 10am, 12:30pm and 3pm.

Venue: Croc City Crocodile and Reptile Park, plot 59, Old Pretoria Rd. Cost: adults R140, children R70. Contact: 083 321 1016, info@ croccity.co.za or visit croccity.co.za

playtime and story time Bryanston Library story time Story time and fun activities for children 2–6 years. Time: 2:30pm, every Wednesday.

Venue: cnr New and Payne St, Bryanston.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 706 3518 Hedgehog Lane Outdoor fairground with a Ferris wheel, merry-go-round and miniature Hedgehog Express Train. There is also a creative studio, bakery and hair salon.

Picnic baskets welcome. Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Sunday. Venue: Garden Shop, 278 Main Rd, Bryanston. Cost: adults free, children R18. Contact: 011 463 8692 or info@hedgehoglane.co.za Jimmy Jungles Indoor adventure playground with supervised, secure facilities for toddlers and children from 6 months up to a height of 1,4m. Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Sunday. Venue: Shop 60, Stoneridge Centre, Modderfontein.

Cost: children under 3 R25, older children R30 per hour. Contact: 011 452 2180 or visit jimmyjungles.co.za

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Open day and magic show Looking for a class placement at a this school for 2012? Let your children watch the magic show while you meet the school’s staff and inspect the facilities. For children aged 14 months to 6 years. 12 November. Time: 9am–10:30am.

Venue: Stepping Stones PrePrimary School, 81A Olympia Ave, Glenadrienne, Parkmore (next to George Lee Park). Cost: free.

Contact: 011 784 0452, stepping@ mweb.co.za or visit stepping.co.za

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calendar Parkhurst Library story time With fun activities for children 3–6 years old.

Time: 3:30pm–4pm, every Monday. Venue: cnr 5th and 13th St, Parkhurst. Cost: free.

Jozi X fun park, Wednesday–Sunday

Linden Library story time With fun activities for children up to 13 years old.

Time: 3pm–4pm, every Wednesday. Venue: cnr 4th Ave and 6th St, Linden. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 888 5685 Love Books Different storytellers relate everything from traditional African folk tales and fairy tales to the classics and brand new stories. Suitable for children 4–8 years old. Time: 10am, every Saturday.

Venue: The Bamboo Centre, 53 Rustenburg Rd, Melville. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 726 7408, storytelling@lovebooks. co.za or visit lovebooks.co.za Olivedale Library story time Stories and fun activities suitable for preschool children. Time: 10am–11am, every Friday.

Venue: President Fouché Rd, Olivedale.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 462 6285/6

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Contact: 011 788 4510 Rivonia Library story time Fun activities and story time for children 3–12 years old. Time: 3pm–3:30pm, every Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: cnr Rivonia Rd and 10th Ave, Rivonia. Cost: free. Contact: 011 803 1227 Rosebank Library story time For children 3–6 years old. Time: 3pm–3:30pm, every Wednesday. Venue: 8 Keyes Ave, Rosebank.

Cost: free. Contact: 011 442 8988 Sandringham Library story time For children 4–10 years old. Time: 3pm, first Wednesday of every month. Venue: Athlone Ave, Sandringham. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 640 5676 Sandton Library story time Activities for children 3–8 years old. Time: 3pm–4pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Sandton Square, cnr West St and Rivonia Rd. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 881 6413 Strubens Valley Library story time Activities for children 2–10 years old. Time: 3pm, every Thursday. Venue: Fredenharry Rd, Strubens Valley. Cost: free. Contact: 011 475 0569 Triba Child The centre has several activities for children throughout the week. They can paint and play, develop green fingers, do sand art, yoga, creative dance, swimming and cooking. Note:

not all activities take place daily. Time: 10am–4pm, Monday–Saturday. Venue: Triba, 39–41 St Alban Ave, Craighall Park.

Cost: varies. Contact: 011 501 4740 or visit tri-ba.com Weltevreden Park Library story time Activities for children 3–6 years old. Time: 3:30pm, every Thursday. Venue: Fern St, Weltevreden Park. Cost: free. Contact: 011 679 3406

sport and physical activities Fun walk Take a 5km walk among the animals at the zoo. 19 November. Time: 6:30am. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St, Pretoria. Cost: adults R30, children R20. Contact: 012 328 3265 or visit nzg.ac.za Jozi X fun park Packed with activities such as tightrope walking, action world, zorb ball, mountain boarding and many more. For children from the age of 5 years old. Time: 10am–5pm, Wednesday–Sunday. Venue: cnr Main Rd and Sloane St, Bryanston.

Cost: varies. Contact Marco: 082 456 2358, marco@jozix.co.za or visit jozix.co.za Magalies Canopy Tour Strap yourself into a harness and enjoy a 2,5 hour tour over the canopy of the Ysterhout Kloof. Suitable for children 7 years and older. Booking essential.

Time: 7am–4:30pm, Monday–Sunday.

Venue: Sparkling Waters Hotel and Spa, Rustenburg. Cost: R450, including transport to and from Ysterhout Kloof, guides, refreshments and a light lunch. Contact:

014 535 0150, info@magaliescanopytour. co.za or visit magaliescanopytour.co.za MTN Cycle Park An array of colourcoded mountain bike trails to cater for every level; from novice to advanced. For children from the age of 5 years old. Time: 6am–6pm, Monday–Sunday. Cost: once-off visit R50, regular visitors R32. BMX-only: regular visitors pay R100 per month. Venue: 1A Libertas St, off Sloane St, Bryanston.

Contact: 083 725 2453, cyclepark@cyclelab. com or visit cyclepark.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Breakfast, baking and lunchbox ideas for moms Brush up on your baking skills and be inspired with their healthy

9 November – Gift wrapping workshops

magazine joburg

breakfast and lunchbox suggestions.

Time: 9:30am–12pm, Monday–Friday.

Venue: varies. Cost: R350. For more info: headoffice@littlecooksclub.co.za or visit littlecooksclub.co.za Domestic worker and childminder workshops The Power of Play workshop provides your childminder with the energy and inspiration to take an innovative and fresh approach to stimulation that has countless benefits for your child. Time: varies. Venue: Parkhurst Recreation Centre, Parkhurst. Cost: R500, includes a manual and course material. Contact: 074 102 6200 or shannoneggers@vodamail.co.za Elementary cooking course Your domestic worker is trained to cook delicious and healthy meals as well as all your family’s favourites. Emphasis is placed on hygienic practices in the kitchen to ensure the healthy preparation of food. Six meals are taught per session. Booking essential.

9 November. Time: 8:30am–2pm. Venue: Domestic Bliss, 235 Jan Smuts Ave, Parktown North. Cost: R2 050. Contact: 011 447 5517 or visit domesticbliss.co.za Festive cooking demonstration With the Christmas lunch or dinner drawing closer, why not perfect your skills with a cooking demonstration to pick up on some tips and tricks to complement your meal? 19 November. Time: 10am–2pm.

Venue: Cooking Up A Storm, Robindale, Randburg. Cost: R300. Contact: 083 408 8802 or visit cookingupastorm.co.za

Basic home cooking for moms Stuck on what to make for meals to ensure your children are getting the correct nutrients? This class is for moms who would like to learn the basics of making nutritious family meals. The classes take two hours in the mornings or evenings.

Time: 9:30am or 6pm. Cost: morning classes R350, evening classes R400. For more info and a class in your area, contact: headoffice@littlecooksclub.co.za or visit littlecooksclub.co.za

Flower arranging course New and imaginative ways to rearrange flowers are explored under the supervision of Kami of Angel Flowers. From bending and shaping, Christmas ideas, and themed arranging using the materials around you, each month you learn something new.

5 November. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Ngwenya Glass Village, off Beyers Naudé Dr and R114, Muldersdrift. Cost: R200.

Contact Kami: 082 817 1293 Four Seasons of Japan A series of talks, workshops and special lecture evenings.

Space is limited to 50 guests per evening,

booking essential. Donations for Tsunami Relief Fund are accepted. 3–25 November.

Time: varies. Venue: Little Brenthurst, Federation Rd, Parktown. Contact: 011 646 4122 or thegarden@brenthurstgardens.co.za Gift wrapping workshops Bring along a gift, a pair of scissors and a shoebox.

9 November. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: 305 Long Ave, Ferndale. Cost: R280, including a goodie bag, a coffee break and snacks, and a lucky draw for a hamper worth R200.

Contact Nina: nina@outofthebox.org.za How and when to tell your children about the birds and bees Parents need

to be more enlightened about handling sexrelated issues and questions. 30 November.

Time: 9am−11am. Venue: Bella Vida Centre, 231 Bryanston Dr. Cost: R450 per person (early bird special R400 if you book and pay before 16 November). Contact: 011 463 4438, enquiries@bellavidacentre. co.za or visit bellavidacentre.co.za Knitting classes Wool and needles are supplied (at your cost) or you can bring your own and learn how to knit properly.

12 November. Time: 2:30pm−4pm. Venue: Ngwenya Glass Village, off Beyers Naudé Dr and R114, Muldersdrift. Cost: R150, including refreshments. Contact Trixie: 079 887 7505 Left-handed workshop Enjoy an informative morning learning how to teach fine motor skills, such as cutting and writing, and about common challenges left-handers face. Booking essential. 12 November. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Eagles Nest Lodge and Conference Centre, cnr Leslie and William Nicol Dr, Fourways.

Cost: R250, including refreshments and workshop notes. Contact Tracy: 083 417 3316, tracy@lefthandlearning.co.za or visit lefthandlearning.co.za Michael Mount Waldorf School open day Meet the teachers, listen to a talk on Waldorf education and tour the facilities.

12 November. Time: 9:30am. Venue: 231 Bryanston Dr, Bryanston. Cost: free.

Contact Karin: 011 706 6125 or visit michael-mount.co.za

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26 sat

Neurotherapy info session Medication is often the first port of call when children are faced with ADHD, anxiety, depression and sleep disorders. Neurotherapy is a non-invasive approach that helps you to learn how to regulate your child’s brain. 5 November. Time: 9am−10am. Venue: Bella Vida Centre, 268 Bryanston Dr. Cost: free, booking essential. Contact: 011 463 4438 Parent homework workshops Weekly, small group parental workshops to take the “work” out of homework. Learn how to incorporate simple strategies to improve concentration, focus, spelling, reading, comprehension and much more.

For parents of primary school children.

Booking essential. Time: 10am–11am, every Thursday. Venue: Chantelle Macquet & Associates Hearing Care Centre, Edenglen.

Cost: tbc. Contact: cjpmac@telkomsa.net Parent workshops Early childhood development is the key to establishing a solid foundation for all future learning and development. The workshops focus on development for the first four years of life and provide practical solutions for making age-appropriate stimulation and play simple and enjoyable. 26 November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Field and Study Centre, Parkmore. Cost: tbc. Contact: 074 102 6200 or shannoneggers@vodamail.co.za Powerful Child This four-hour workshop is aimed at parents (with children of all ages), who are eager to learn how to bring out the best in their children by applying powerful life skills, approaches and techniques. 11 November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Bella Vida Centre, 268 Bryanston Dr. Cost: R900 per person (early

5 November – Tiny Handz basic sign language training

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Reader’s Day – table setting extravaganza SA Garden sets out to inspire you with creative ideas for your festive season’s table décor. They demonstrate decorating with plants, pots, napkins and cut flowers, using different textures to create an affordable yet exquisite table. 26 November.

Time: 10am. Venue: Lifestyle Garden Centre, cnr Beyers Naudé Dr and Ysterhout Ave, Randpark Ridge. Cost: R80.

Contact Ursula: 011 792 5616 or ursula@lifeimp.co.za

bird special R800 if you book and pay before 28 October). Contact: 011 463 4438 or visit bellavidacentre.co.za Powerful Parent This four-hour workshop is aimed at parents (with children of all ages), who are eager to be great role models to their children because they live powerful lives of mastery and wisdom.

4 November. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Bella Vida Centre Bryanston, 268 Bryanston Dr. Cost: R900 per person. Contact: 011 463 4438, enquiries@bellavidacentre.co.za or visit bellavidacentre.co.za Powertalk: emotional intelligence Emotional intelligence describes the ability, capacity and skill of a person to identify, assess, manage and control the emotions of one’s self, of others and of groups. This talk gives five steps to increase emotional intelligence of self and others.

25 November. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Bella Vida Centre, 268 Bryanston Dr. Cost: R250. Contact: 011 463 4438 or visit bellavidacentre.co.za Practical parenting workshop on childcare In the second last workshop of the year, Steph Dawson-Cosser focuses on choosing a childcare plan that works for you. Email to book your place.

5 November. Time: 2pm–4pm. Venue: Turning Point, 5 Selkirk Ave, cnr Forbes Rd, Blairgowrie, Randburg. Cost: R150 per person, R250 per couple. Contact: 011 787 2528, theparentcoachinsa@gmail. com, stephd@choicechildcare.co.za or visit choicechildcare.co.za Practical parenting workshops on tantrums In the last workshop of 2011, Steph Dawson-Cosser focuses on temper tantrums – how to deal with them and not have one of your own. Email to book your place. 19 November. Time: 2pm–4pm.

Venue: Turning Point, 5 Selkirk Ave, cnr Forbes Rd, Blairgowrie, Randburg. Cost: R150 per person, R250 per couple. Contact Steph: 011 787 2528, theparentcoachinsa@ gmail.com, stephd@choicechildcare.co.za or visit choicechildcare.co.za Sushi classes Booking essential. 20 November. Time: 11:30am. Venue: TasteBuds, 3799 Jan Frederik Ave, Randpark Ridge. Cost: R345. Contact Angela: 083 600 9096, info@taste-buds.co.za or visit taste-buds.co.za Tai chi classes Take the time to settle your mind and rejuvenate your soul with the gentle movements of tai chi. The classes

take place under the trees. Time: 11:30am, every Sunday. Venue: Albertsfarm, cnr 8th St and 6th Rd West, Northcliff. Cost: R30 per class. Contact Thaniya: 011 477 7048 or thaniya@telkomsa.net Tiny Handz basic sign language training The signs taught are for use with children who fall into the special needs spectrum, and who have verbal challenges, including Down’s syndrome, autism, cerebral palsy and more. The course covers two basic training workshops. 5 November.

Time: 8am–3pm. Venue: Maranatha Bana, Centurion. Cost: R730, including refreshments, training guide and posters.

Contact Monita: 082 218 7339, contact@ tinyhandz.co.za or visit tinyhandz.co.za Toy Talk 2011 Nikki Bush shares her knowledge on toys to leave you better informed for when you go Christmas shopping. Toys are on hand at the workshop for you to inspect. Booking essential. 9 and 14–16 November. Time: 9 November: 9am–12pm or 6pm–9pm. Venue: Bryanston Country Club, 63 Bryanston Rd. 14 and 15 November: 6pm–9pm. Venue: Miele Gallery, 63 Peter Place, Bryanston. 16 November: 9am–12pm. Venue: Miele Gallery, 63 Peter Place, Bryanston. Cost: R185, including refreshments and goodie bag. Contact Bridgid: 083 260 8792, info@brightideasoutfit.co.za or visit brightideasoutfit.com

on stage and screen Afda Film Festival The festival is an accumulation of what the students have learnt throughout the year. A selection of 12and 24-minute plus MFA feature films lead the programme. 18–19 November. Time: 10am–9:30pm. Venue: Cinema Nouveau, Rosebank Mall. Cost: R10 per film. Contact: 011 482 8345 or visit afda.co.za

Johnny Clegg’s 30th Anniversary In an eclectic concert fused with Celtic, folk and international rock while staying true to his African roots; Clegg reunites with Juluka to perform all the hits spanning his 30-year career. The show features dancers and video footage from the early days.

5 November. Time: 8:30pm. Venue: The Centre Court, Emperor’s Palace. Cost: from R161. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Julio Iglesias live The Spanish-born heartthrob has sold over 300 million records world wide and is returning to South Africa. 5 and 6 November. Time: 8pm.

Venue: Carnival City, Big Top Arena. Cost: from R375. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Porralicious A romantic comedy about Portuguese immigrants in South Africa.

Three generations portrayed by one woman, she takes you through the family’s search for love, life and meaning. 2–12 November. Time: 8:15pm, Wednesday– Saturday. Venue: Studio Theatre at Montecasino. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com The Chilli Boy This is the hysterical story of an old Indian woman reincarnated as a white gangster from Boksburg. At the age of 30, the gangster starts suffering flashbacks from his previous life as an Indian woman.

Not appropriate for children under 12.

Time: 8pm, Wednesday–Saturday; 3pm, Saturday. Venue: The Joburg Theatre, cnr Simmonds St and Stiemens Rd. Cost: R130. Contact: 011 877 6800 or visit joburgtheatre.com Tori Amos Night of Hunters tour Amos, entertains with favourites and gives you a taste of her latest work. In an effort to

20 sun

The Momentum 94.7 Cycle Challenge The day has finally arrived. After months of training the riders finally hit the road.

Show your support along the route as the riders push to finish within 6 hours or less. Road use returns to normal after 4:30pm. 20 November. Time: starts between 5:30am and 9:21am. Venue: start on the R55 before Maxwell Dr, Sunninghill.

Contact: cyclechallenge@highveld.co.za or visit cyclechallenge.co.za

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9–10 November – Decadence Christmas Fair

constantly reinvent herself, the latest album uses a classical song cycle to tell a modern story with the theme of the hunter and the hunted. 12 and 13 November Time: 8:30pm, Saturday; 3pm, Sunday. Venue: Theatre of Marcellus, Emperor’s Casino.

Cost: R390. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Tree Aan Deon Opperman’s musical about South Africans doing national service on the border for the SADF is back until 6 November. Time: varies, there’s one show per day. Venue: State Theatre, Pretoria.

Cost: R125. Book online at treeaan.co.za or book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

out and about Braamfontein Renaissance period walk A 2½-hour walking tour starts at The Nunnery, heads towards the ridge and ends in a modern apartment overlooking the train tracks. Booking essential. 26 November. Time: 9:30am. Venue: park at the Holy Trinity Church, Stiemens St. Cost: R60 for members, R80 for non-members.

Contact Parktown Heritage: 011 482 3349 Ceramics by Caroline Schulzvieira Caroline’s work continues to explore the dialogue between the vessel and its associations. You can see mixed stoneware and porcelain on display. Time: 10am.

Venue: Upstairs at Bamboo, 53 Rustenburg Rd, Melville. Cost: free entry. Contact Caroline: 082 401 4213 Decadence Christmas Fair With fantastic sales on swimwear and lingerie, plus many other stores with gift ideas, you might find exactly what you’ve been looking for. A raffle is held and there are many other prizes to be won.

The fair is held annually in aid of Animals in Distress. 9 and 10 November. Time: 4pm–8:30pm, Wednesday; 8:30am–6pm, Thursday. Venue: 58 Hume Rd, Dunkeld.

Cost: free entry, tea/coffee and snacks is provided and the first 200 customers that arrive at the fair, receive a free goodie bag.

Contact: 011 447 2866 Decorative and Fine Arts Auction A decorative and fine arts, ceramics, silver, furniture and jewellery auction, hosted

by Stephan Welz & Co, one of South Africa’s long-established auction houses.

15−17 November. Time: tbc. Venue: 13 Biermann Ave, Rosebank. Contact: 011 880 3125, jhb@stephanwelzandco.co.za or visit stephanwelzandco.co.za magazine joburg

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calendar Dinner in the dark The evening kicks off with a 35-minute guided tour of the Dialogue in the Dark exhibition. This is a specially constructed and totally darkened exhibition. Then, enjoy a three-course dinner with flavours of India – in the dark.

4 November. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Sci Bono Discovery Centre, 1 President St, Newtown. Cost: R200. Contact: 011 639 8437 or visit sci-bono.co.za FNB Whisky Live Festival 2011 The festival showcases more than 180 local and international whiskies. Learn how to pair the flavours of whisky with canapés and enjoy many more interactive whisky attractions. Road Trip and Corporate Cabs available for rides home. Booking essential.

9−11 November. Time: 6pm–10pm. Venue: Sandton Convention Centre. Cost: varies.

Contact: contact@whiskylivefestival.co.za or visit whiskylivefestival.co.za Forest Town period walk Enjoy a 2½-hour walk through charming old architecture, gum plantations and down Epping Road. Booking essential. 19 November. Time: 2pm. Venue: park at St Francis in the Forest Church, cnr Durris and Tarlton Rd, Forest Town. Cost: R60 for members, R80 for non-members. Contact Parktown Heritage: 011 482 3349 Johannesburg Hiking Club Tackle the ridges and hills surrounding Johannesburg or venture further. November hikes around Johannesburg on 2, 6, 9, 13, 16, 20, 23, 27 and 30 November. Time: from

7:45am. Venue: changes depending on the hike. Contact: 087 940 1903 or visit jhbhiking.org.za Westcliff period walk Take a walk through beautiful homes and splendid gardens. Some of the architecture dates back to 1902. 5 November. Time: 2pm.

Venue: Park at La Roche offices, 54 The Valley Rd, cnr Jan Smuts Ave. Cost: R40.

Contact Parktown Heritage: 011 482 3349 Works on paper by Vasco Futcher Forming part of JAG’s emerging artists programme, this exhibition gives opportunity to artists who are beginning to receive critical acclaim. Vasco Futscher, a young artist from Portugal, is showcasing drawings and a selection of complimentary ceramics. 1–30 November. Time: 10am–5pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: Johannesburg Art Gallery, King George St, Joubertpark. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 725 3180

support groups Alcoholics Anonymous To find a support group in your area: 0861 435 722 (HELP AA) or visit aasouthafrica.org.za Al-Anon Offers help and support to the families of problem drinkers. Contact: 0861 252 666 or visit alanon.org.za Autism Association of South Africa For parents or caregivers of children with autism. Contact: 011 484 9909 or visit autismsouthafrica.org

Mom’s Circle of Support The group is aimed at mothers who are seeking support, advice, information and empowerment in the areas of children, parenting and motherhood. Time: varies.

Venue: Bella Vida Centre, 268 Bryanston Dr. Cost: free. Contact: 011 463 4438, enquiries@ bellavidacentre.co.za or visit bellavidacentre.co.za

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Children’s Disability Centre Aims to assist visually impaired and autistic children, their parents and caregivers with challenges they might experience in relation to school readiness. Contact: 011 643 3050 Choc Provides advice and support for families affected by childhood cancer.

Contact: 086 111 3500 Compassionate Friends Support group for bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents. Contact: 011 440 6322 or visit compasionatefriends.org.za Diabetes South Africa Provides support for those affected by diabetes and advocates for people with the condition. Contact: 086 111 3913 or visit diabetessa.co.za Jo’burg Child Welfare Provides assistance for children who have been abused, abandoned, neglected, consented for adoption, orphaned or infected with HIV. Contact: 011 298 8500 or visit jhbchildwelfare.org.za Johannesburg Bipolar Support Association Support and advice for people affected by this disorder. Contact: 011 485 2406 or visit bipolar.co.za Lifeline Provides a 24-hour telephonic confidential crisis intervention service.

Contact: 011 728 1347 Overeaters anonymous (OA) This is a fellowship of people who share a solution to the problem of compulsive overeating.

Contact: 011 640 2901 PACSEN – Parents for Children with Special Educational Needs Provides counselling, support and information for parents with special needs children.

Contact: 012 333 0149 Respect Me Support for children who are affected by bullying. Contact Kelly: info@ respectme.co.za or visit respectme.co.za The Family Life Centre Offers marriage, divorce and couple counselling, single parent and step-parent support groups, family counselling as well as play therapy, grief counselling and trauma debriefing.

Venue: 1 Cardigan Rd, Parkwood. Contact: 011 788 4784/5, famlife@iafrica.com or visit familylife.co.za Tough Love Self-help programme and support group for families affected by difficult adolescent behaviour such as drug, substance and alcohol abuse or physical and

9–11 November – FNB Whisky Live Festival

verbal abuse. To find an office in your area: 0861 868 445 or visit toughlove.org.za Women and Men against Child Abuse The group offers medical, psychological and follow-up therapy and treatment for children who have been sexually, physically and emotionally abused, as well as support for their family members or caregivers. Contact: 011 789 8815 or visit wmaca.org.za Youth with Diabetes This is a non-profit organisation created to help children, teens and young adults living with diabetes.

Contact: gareth@youthwithdiabetes.com or visit youthwithdiabetes.com

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bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Baby Bootcamp Bring your infant or toddler along for stroller-based exercises. The classes are designed for the postnatal body. For moms with children 0–4 years old. Classes take 55 minutes. Time: varies. Venues: Fourways, Sandton, Kyalami. Cost: from R90 for a single class; R600 for a package. Contact Tarryn: 082 462 7519 Brain development milestones and learning A three-hour brain boosting session presented by Dr Melodie de Jager to discover why massaging baby, waking up senses, reaching milestones, building self-esteem and developing vocabulary is so important. Booking essential. 12 November. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: River of Life Church, cnr Fitzsimmons and Lauts Rd, Vanderbijlpark. Cost: R180. Contact Adri: 082 453 8141, adri.rousseau@ babygym.co.za or visit babygym.co.za Kindermusik Playdates Kindermusik is the world’s leading music and movement brain stimulation programme. Your Kindermusik Playdate experience includes musical fun, a craft activity, a free instrument and loads of advice. For children 0–7 years old. 12 November. Time: 10am–11am.

Venues: Randburg and Edenvale studios.

4 November – Toptots mother and child workshop

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Cost: R80 per class. Contact Joanne: 082 881 3677, info@kmjoyfulsong.co.za or visit kmjoyfulsong.co.za Mom’s and dad’s yoga Deepen your yoga strength while creating a bond with your partner and your baby. Learn how to get your baby engaged in this new form of play that is relaxing, comfortable and engaging. 5 November. Time: 1:30pm–4pm. Venue: 39–41 St Albans Ave, Craighall Park. Cost: R480. Contact Theoni: 083 229 3253, theoni@consciousbirth. co.za or visit consciousbirth.co.za Postnatal exercise class Bring your baby along while you firm up, restore core strength and cardiovascular fitness.

Time: 9am, every Wednesday and Friday.

Venue: 129 Republic Rd, Fontainebleau, Randburg. Cost: R380 per month, twice a week. Contact Anitra: 082 577 4716 or visit motherinstinct.co.za Pregnancy yoga Connect with your partner and baby through yoga. Learn tricks to support and nurture your pregnant partner during pregnancy and in birthing. The yoga classes are relaxing and a fun way for everyone to share in the pregnancy process. Time: 5:30pm, every Monday; 11:30am, every Tuesday. Venue: 39–41 St Albans Ave, Craighall Park. Cost: varies. Contact Theoni: 083 229 3253, theoni@consciousbirth.co.za or visit consciousbirth.co.za

Toptots mother and child workshop Join them for fantastic ideas to assist you in giving your child a head start. The programme has specialised activities in all areas of development. 4 November.

Time: 10:30am for 1–3 year olds and 11:30am for 3–12 month olds.

Venue: The Glen Shopping Centre.

Cost: R30 (including Toptots gift and a voucher for a coffee and a child’s drink). No booking required, but maximum 15 mothers with children. Contact Yvette: 011 433 4155 or yvette@toptots.co.za

playtime and story time Jungle Rumble Indoor Playground Indoor playground venue with an allocated baby area for children under 3 years. Time: 9am–5pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 10am–5pm, Sunday. Venue: Panorama Shop and Leisure Centre, cnr Kliprivier and Jordie Rd, Mulbarton. Cost: R15–R55; babies under 10 months free. Contact: 011 432 0403, junglerumble.co.za or visit junglerumble.co.za Parkview Library story time Suitable for children under 3 years. Time: 10am, every Monday. Venue: 51 Athlone Ave, Parkview. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 646 3375 Play days at Elf Hill This party venue offers a play area with a bike track, sand pit, play houses and lots more. 2, 16 and 30 November. Time: 1pm–5pm.

Venue: plot 29, Zandspruit Rd, Farmall, Chartwell North. Cost: adults R20, children R15, includes refreshments. Contact: 082 573 5386, estelle@elfshill.co.za or visit elfshill.co.za Toddlers-in-Tune music classes Children can pop in and create beautiful art and crafts to take home. Classes are 60 minutes long and include singing, movement and basic instruments for children. 1–6 November focuses on wind chimes, 8–13 November focuses on spinning tops. Time: 9am–5pm, Monday– Friday; 9am–4pm, Saturday; 9am–1pm, Sunday. Venue: Smudge, Valley Centre, 396 Jan Smuts Ave, Craighall. Cost: R120. Contact: 011 501 0234, sandra@ smudgeart.co.za or visit smudgeart.co.za

Toddlers-in-Tune music and creative classes

support groups Adoption South Africa Offers support groups for adopters as well as extensive services in counselling and legal social work. For more info: visit adoptionsa.co.za Bedwetting support group 8am–5pm, Monday–Friday. Contact: 083 289 6640 La Leche League Breast-feeding support group For more info: visit llli.org Neobirth Pregnancy Care Centre Support for crisis pregnancies, abortion, miscarriages, adoption and general parenting issues. Contact: 012 343 6401, neofamily@ neobirth.org.za or visit neobirth.org.za Moms and Babes support group A group for new or expectant moms, where you share your concerns, and get advice concerning baby care, and breast-feeding.

2 November. Time: 10:30am–1pm.

Venue: Mother Instinct, 129 Republic Rd, Fontainebleau, Randburg. Cost: R60 per visit. Contact Laura: 083 301 2826 or lsayce@gmail.com Postnatal Depression Support Association Assists mothers and the families of women affected by postnatal depression. Contact: 011 786 8803, 082 429 2279, pndsagauteng@gmail.com or visit pndsa.co.za South African Multiple Birth Association Provides moral and practical support to parents or guardians of multiple births. Contact: 0861 432 432

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calendar

how to help Chance Children’s Home This is a registered non-profit organisation that provides a safe, secure home and therapeutic environment for children from families in crisis. Although they offer residential care, their aim is to work with families towards the reconstruction and reunification of family units wherever possible. For more info: visit chancechildrenshome.co.za Cotlands A non-profit children’s organisation that provides full care to over 10 000 beneficiaries. Their programmes include home-based care, early childhood development centres, toy libraries, food gardens, counselling, places of safety and care for children with HIV/Aids. You can donate products, time or money. Venue: 134 Stanton St, Turffontein. Contact: 011 683 7200 or visit cotlands.co.za Fête with Christmas Tree Attend this fete, which aims to enrich the lives of underprivileged children. There will be handcrafted items on sale, live entertainment and a Christmas tree where presents will be handed to underprivileged children, as well as carols by candlelight in the evening. Fête stalls are for rent at R100 per stall. 26 November. Time: 8am–7pm; 4pm, gift handout; carols by candlelight, 6pm. Venue: Coronation Dam, Cross St, Voortrekker, Krugersdorp. Cost: R20 per adult, free for children. Contact Daleen: 078 369 7951 or educare.havenga0@ gmail.com

For Food Sake, Give Us Some Rands SAM (Support and Motivation) is a non-profit organisation fundraising for people living in poverty. A small donation goes a long way for people living in extreme poverty all over the developing world.

Contact: 079 814 8971, samdpin@gmail.com or visit sam.org.za

Hope Charity Shop Supplies a great selection of artwork, books and magazines, glassware, second-hand household items and electronics, second-hand clothes and shoes, small furniture items and all sorts of other odds and ends. This shop accepts donated items including artwork, clothing, crockery, glassware, cutlery, books, magazines, games, toys and shoes. The shop can collect but items may also be dropped off. They are also looking for volunteers to work at the shop. Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Saturday.

Laughter therapy with Jimmy

R65–R85. Venue: Irene Village Theatre,

Carr Take a break with the English-

1 Pioneer Rd, Irene. Book through

Irish comedian. He has audiences in

Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit

stitches with his deadpan delivery and

computicket.com

dark humour. Parental guidance for age

Puppet Show Spectacular Following

16 for language. 10 December. Time:

the morning show of Cinderella at the

6pm. Venue: Sandton Convention

same theatre on Thursday, you can

Centre, Pavilion. Cost: R263–R568.

catch two short puppet shows featuring

Book through Computicket: 0861 915

stunning imported puppets Harry the

8000 or visit computicket.com

Hedgehog and Intruder in the Castle.

Carols

this

2–3, 9–10 and 15–16 December. Time:

December Watch the Lipizzaners as

by

candlelight

1pm. Venue: Irene Village Theatre, 1

they prance around the arena during

Pioneer Rd, Irene. Cost: R55, includes

their annual Christmas Show, backed

popcorn and fruit juice. Book through

by the Welsh Male Voice Choir. 7,

Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit

8, 14, 15, 17, 18, 20, 21, 22 and

computicket.com

23 December. Time: 7pm. Venue:

BSG Energade triathlon series

1 Dahlia Rd, Kyalami. Cost: varies.

and Kids’ Series Swim, cycle and

Tickets can be bought at the door or

run your way to good health and

book through Computicket: 0861 915

have a fun time doing it. A great

8000 or visit computicket.com

outdoor family event to get the heart

Cinderella The much-loved children’s

pumping and the wind in your hair.

classic is performed by some of

For children 5–15 years old. The

Tshwane’s most promising talent. Fun

12–15 year age group’s race is timed.

for the whole family, it always leaves

4 December. Time: adults 9:30am,

audiences singing in the aisles. 1–3,

children 7:30am. Venue: North West

8–10 and 12–17 December. Time:

University, Vanderbijlpark. Contact: 011

10am and 3pm; 7pm, Saturday. Cost:

215 6666 or visit bsgmultisport.co.za

For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

Venue: cnr 2nd Ave and Main Rd, Melville.

Contact Oliver: 011 484 4000 or oliver@ hotelhopeministries.org Smile Foundation This is a nonprofit organisation, initiated by Nelson Mandela, that brings people together to provide expert surgical intervention, create greater social involvement, enable sensible corporate investment and make a difference in the lives of children with facial abnormalities. Contact Michelle Gerszt: 087 808 8682, michelle@smilefoundationsa. org or visit smilefoundationsa.org

BSG Energade triathlon series and Kids’ Series

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to joburg@childmag.co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971. Information must be received by 4 November for the December/January issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

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continued...

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81

last laugh

the good loser SAM WILSON prides herself on her non-competitive style of play.

But her family says this deprives them of the joy of beating her.

i

am an exceptionally good loser. My older brother, Quentin, would say it’s because I have such an incredible swathe of stuff to be good at losing at... and he’d be right. Quentin, is one of the most coordinated people on the planet, and he has been comprehensively beating me at an unimaginably broad range of games, from tennis to tiddlywinks, for over 35 years now.

Unfortunately for him, I was his only sibling for many years and we didn’t have a spill of cousins to play with. On the upside, he did teach himself to be ambidextrous, simply so he didn’t have to gnaw on his own squash racquet in boredom while playing against me. And I learnt to lose with a smile, hell, often even a laugh, because I loved playing with Quent. Also, in all fairness, he was pretty damn good.

This is probably why I just don’t get parents who have to beat their children

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when playing games against them. “But it’ll teach them character,” earnest parents tell me. “And then, when they do finally win – they’ll know they did it by themselves, properly, and without being given any special treatment.”

Funnily enough, you never hear anyone applauding their children for learning to eat with a knife and a fork all by themselves, “without special treatment”, or teaching themselves to read “without any of that Jack and Jill nonsense”. Nope, it’s an argument curiously just reserved for games.

I am not saying I am lacking any competitiveness, but I have never really understood competition for competition’s sake. Sure it’s nice to win, but I just can’t get myself to feel horrified when I lose at a game I was taking part in just because I enjoyed it.

Of course, this leads to other problems in my family. It’s no fun playing against

someone who honestly doesn’t care if they win or lose, as was underlined for me during a family Sunday at our house.

“You know what’s even more annoying than the way you don’t mind losing?” asked my son, Josef, after we were finishing up a marathon session of Risk. “The way you win like it was just one of many possible outcomes. It’s like the smuggest smugginess of all smuggery.”

“I know!” exploded Quent. “Isn’t she the worst, most insufferable winner ever?”

Huh? Here I thought I was a veritable paragon of non-competitiveness, when – apparently – I had just found another way to win: by not letting anyone else enjoy the fight. So I’m not the world’s best loser then.

Clearly, it’s hard to dissect one’s own gamesmanship; and one woman’s nonchalance is another’s brain-squeezing irritation. Clearly the answer, as with most

things (annoyingly enough), lies somewhere in the middle.

But that doesn’t make sense to me either. How can someone be reasonably competitive? And if that is the goal, it’s definitely not what we are teaching in mainstream schools or on our national sports fields.

It’s a poser, and an important one – because teaching children to play nicely is the clear precursor to teaching them to interact respectfully with others. But that’s the bigger board game strategy. My more immediate tactics just involve me letting Quent and Joe play against each other for a bit instead.

Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24.com, Parent24.com and Food24.com. And no, she is not available to join your poker evenings. She has seen that movie before.

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PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth

Joe, Sam and Benj