Child Magazine | Joburg October 2011

J O H A N N E S B U R G ’ S b e s t gu i d e f o r p a r e n t s

an

A-Z guide

differ

c en e

alin e d

g with

double (triple) the delight how to cope with twins and triplets

venus vs mars how different are boys and girls?

www.childmag.co.za

October 2011

free

the 3D issue

health

education

entertainment

This month we dedicate our magazine to all children who find themselves “outside” of the educational, physical and emotional mainstream.

We also acknowledge you, their parents, and your ongoing fight to provide your children with every opportunity to heal, grow and excel.

Dealing with difference became very real for me once again when I caught up with a friend I haven’t seen in ages.

Her daughter has low-level Asperger’s, sensory processing disorder and ADHD and has been at a school for “educational special needs” for seven years. My friend had just heard that her daughter had been accepted at the mainstream high school of her choice – the look on her daughter’s face, and the excitement and sense of achievement in her voice, will stay with me forever. How did she go from being the little girl who couldn’t socialise with her peers, didn’t look you in the eye and could barely sit still for five minutes to a wonderfully sociable and academically astute pupil?

Her mother made it happen. She worked day and night on her daughter’s reading, maths, movement and diet. From beanbag

throwing and ball balancing to extension programmes and wheat and sugar-free diets, she tried it all. She also sought out every professional for advice and supervised hours of extra work each week because this was her child, and she was going to make it better. And she did.

So, this issue is for all of you who are living stories of hope, knowing that the sun hides behind the clouds.

Until next month.

If you love the magazine, you’ll love our website. Visit us at childmag.co.za

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Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Marina Zietsman • joburg@childmag.co.za

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PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

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Joburg’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

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October 2011

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contents

october 2011

16

upfront 3

10 what’s that dot you’ve got?

how to tell if your child’s rash is serious. By Vanessa Papas

10 keep it clean

a note from lisa

6 over to you

health

Vanessa Papas finds ways to fight the spread of infections such as hepatitis A

regulars

readers respond

8 wins

12 reader’s blog

a mom falls foul of the school car park snobs

13 upfront with paul

23 dad’s blog

Paul Kerton relishes his daughters’ musical skills

Marc de Chazal wonders if his children’s friendships will stand the test of time

14 dealing with difference

features

Claire Rencken shares the story

of her son who was born

with a cleft lip

and palate

16 overnight sensation

L es Aupiais reveals the ups and downs of raising multiples

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20 building for the future

Elaine Eksteen highlights the importance of good family values

24 are girls and boys

wired differently?

Glynis Horning investigates gender differences and their impact on learning and development

27 get cooking

42 a good read

simple, fun recipes for budding cooks. By Annabel Karmel

Jacqui Tooke gives advice for choosing fun and educational toys

32 a testing time?

new books for the whole family

46 what’s on in october

30 playtime

38 resource – your A-Z guide

Tamlyn Vincent compiled a directory of disorders and conditions and where to find support

make informed decisions during your pregnancy. By Glynis Horning

66 last laugh

Sam Wilson’s children have not inherited her dodgy study habits

classified ads

36 the simple life

61 family marketplace

63 let’s party

Nadine Tedder and her family spend four idyllic months at sea

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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October 2011

Cape Town

Johannesburg

Durban

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

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magazine joburg

October 2011

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letters

over to you party pack with a difference Instead of giving party packs each year, we support the Sunflower Fund by wrapping some treats in their bandanas. This supports their brilliant charity, but also teaches my children the value of supporting good causes. They then have their bandanas ready to wear at school on Bandana Day. I feel much happier spending money on this than on any toy or gimmick.

Anonymous

I enjoyed your article on “high fashion versus child’s play” (Child magazine, September 2011). I have loved dressing up since I was a young girl and I still love it.

I am glad that my young daughters of five and seven love fashion too, but they love being children more.

I will spend R400 on boots for them, much to my husband’s disgust.

My daughters are always well dressed, even though not all their clothes are expensive, and they still look appropriate for their ages. Little girls will be little girls.

They attend a school where they do not wear uniforms, but are not allowed to wear branded clothes either. As long as the parents are responsible and monitor their children, I say let them be.

Shamenta

allow yourself to be distracted

a goldfish, a loo and a granny I read your magazine whenever I can get my hands on it and, after reading Paul Kerton’s column “pet symmetry” (Child magazine, August 2011), I have to share this with you.

My mom sadly passed away before we had children and we now refer to her as the Angel Granny, who watches and protects us in heaven. This obviously sparks a lot of questions, such as “Where do you go to when you die?”

When my daughter, Abigail, was about three years old, her beloved goldfish Bubble, was found floating in the fish bowl, lifeless. She was devastated. So, we said a little prayer before we flushed her, or it, down the toilet because “that’s how fish get to heaven”. Abigail seemed satisfied with the sendoff and that was that, or so I thought. About a week later, Abigail had a very confused look on her face. “Mommy,” she said, “you know we flushed Bubble down the toilet so she could go to heaven?”

“Yes, my love?” I replied. “Well, then how did Grandad fit Granny down the toilet?” I laughed so much, the tears poured down my cheeks. It just shows you how clever and resilient they are, even at the ripe old age of three.

Louise Bickerdike

great newsletter I love the online newsletter. It’s so exciting to print out the tasks suitable for each age group.

Juliette Dreyer Rainsford View the article at childmag.co.za/content/littlehelpers and subscribe to our newsletter.

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October 2011

Whatever happened to jealousy, anger and greed?

These days, the cardinal sin seems to be “distraction”.

With the (very real) phenomenon of ADHD, this is at the back of every parent’s mind when their child shows any signs of not being able to complete a task or sit still long enough to finish a meal, or not loving puzzles, reading or knitting or lacking patience. During a recent holiday to a wilderness location, the children wondered how they were going to enjoy themselves without being close to buildings, shopping malls, entertainment or even TV. There was just fynbos, rocks and an undulating landscape. On the first morning, we walked about a kilometre to the reception area. At first, our eight-year-old was completely goal-orientated, trying to guess how long it would take us to walk the distance, and timing our progress. But then he was distracted by the frost, a first for him to see and touch, and then he created unique patterns in the sand, leaves and wood. The sandstone rocks a few paces off the road also beckoned to be explored, rewarding him with a view from the top. With sunbirds, early spring flowers, the charming resident cat… the reception building was long forgotten.

Is there enough space in our lives these days for distraction and free play? Are we so busy with school, extramurals, homework and TV that we have demonised distraction, and banished it from our lives?

We have decided to be more aware of our expectations of our children, to check whether these are being imposed on us by our social context, or whether they reflect values we hold dear.

Nicky

create TB awareness I am a mom and a doctor who works at a clinic that cares for people with HIV. Many of our patients are domestic workers and nannies. In order to prevent unnecessary job losses, I wish to point out that I disagree with the author of the article “finding Mary Poppins” (Child magazine, July 2011). The author states that people with tuberculosis (TB) should not work with children.

While anyone can get TB, it is important to know that the risk of becoming ill with TB is far lower in

well-nourished people with healthy immune systems. TB is spread in droplets of sputa when an infected person coughs. After two weeks, most people on TB treatment will no longer be infectious although they may still be coughing. The national TB guidelines advise that it is safe for TB patients to return to work after two weeks of treatment. The duration of TB treatment is not linked to infectiousness and is continued for a minimum of six months to eradicate semi-dormant bacteria.

In my experience, many domestic workers are afraid of losing their jobs if they reveal that they are HIV-positive or that they have TB. By law they are not obliged to disclose this. Many of these ladies are their family’s breadwinners. Some of our patients would rather jeopardise their own health than risk losing their jobs. Employers can make a real difference to less welloff families by simply allowing employees to take sick leave to go to the clinic.

Tappie Kitshoff

drugs are not the solution My son Joshua, now six, was diagnosed with ADHD in 2008. There were several recommendations for his “treatment”, including Ritalin and a remedial school, but after much prayer, my husband and I decided to treat him with omega supplements and occupational therapy. After Grade R, we chose to put him in an independent school because we felt that he would receive the attention he needs. We were so wrong. After the first two weeks, we saw our son’s confidence falter and his character change.

We took both our sons out of the independent school and we started home schooling them. What a difference this made. My oldest has “found” himself again and he is excelling in his schoolwork; my youngest loves the competition and the time with Mom. It’s possible for parents to cope when these things are thrown at us, but we must learn to believe in our children’s abilities, which will shine through when they know they have their parents’ support and commitment.

Deryn

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

fun to play dress up

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October 2011

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wins

giveaways in october bush break Ant’s Nest and Ant’s Hill are private bush homes situated in the malariafree Waterberg region. Both homes offer activities that include horse riding, game drives, game walks, mountain biking, bug walks and more.

For more information, contact 014 755 3584, reservations@waterberg.net or visit waterberg.net One reader can win an all-inclusive two-night getaway for themselves and a partner, valued at R10 800.

The getaway is to be taken between October 2011 and June 2012. Terms and conditions apply. Email your details to reservations@waterberg.net and mark it as “Child Mag JHB Win”.

young earth

advanced play

Eco.kid is an ecologically responsible and child-friendly range that treats children’s hair, scalp and skin issues. Eco.kid uses certified natural and organic, paraben-, sulphate- and synthetic-free, readily biodegradable ingredients. For more information, contact 011 326 1525, ecokid@makeovercentral.co.za or visit ecokid.co.za Two readers stand a chance of winning an Eco.kid hamper valued at R1 055 each. Simply email your details to ecokid@makeovercentral.co.za and mark your entry as “Child Mag JHB Win”.

The uDraw Game Tablet is a first-of-its-kind, revolutionary game system that provides a fun way for families to play with Wii, with innovative features that allow the imagination to spring to life. Games range from Pictionary to Dood’s Big Adventure. For stockists in your area contact 011 445 7992 or for more info, visit worldofudraw.com One reader stands a chance to win a uDraw Game Tablet plus three games valued at R2 000. Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Ster Kinekor JHB Win”.

educational aid Kid-ease sources quality Montessori material without the unattainably high price tag, making their range accessible to all. For more information, visit kid-ease.co.za Four readers could each win a Kid-ease voucher valued at R650.

Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Kid-Ease JHB Win”.

comfortable fit Children’s feet continue to develop until the age of 25, and the soft bones in their feet can be distorted by wearing the incorrect shoes. Green Cross shoes support and conform to the shape of the foot, while allowing freedom for bones and joints to develop naturally. For more information, visit green-cross.com Green Cross is giving away eight vouchers for a pair of children’s shoes valued at R250. Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Green Cross JHB Win”.

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October 2011

how to enter

congratulations to our August winners

Unless it is otherwise stated, emailed entries go to win@ childmag.co.za and postal entries go to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Only one entry per reader is allowed and entries must be received by 31 October 2011.

Sia Ragni, Ursula van Lelyveld and Rene Chabana who win with Cipla; Vicky Stander, Jane Casqueira and Sandipa Seeparsad who each win a Deluxe Pottery Set from Alex Toys; Mandy Goodwin who wins a Monsoon party dress; Penina Minkowitz who wins an Ideal Toy hamper and Jolin Barnett who wins an Old School Cool placement.

magazine joburg

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October 2011

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health

what’s that dot you’ve got?

Spots, rashes and welts on your child can cause panic, but the secret is being able to identify the “baddies” from the “not-so-baddies”, says VANESSA PAPAS.

g

auteng GP Dr Sylvia Guest says viral skin infections, such as measles, rubella Specialist dermatologist Dr Jeanne Louw of the Cape Town Dermatology Clinic & (German measles) and chickenpox, are highly contagious. “Symptoms include a Skin Laser Centre, says heat rash develops as small red or pink pimples on the head, sore throat, high temperature and red eyes before a blotchy, itchy rash starts on neck, and shoulders and is a result of blocked sweat ducts, often caused by parents your child’s torso that changes from red to dark brown in colour. dressing their baby too warmly. “Another common skin disorder is With rubella, children often complain of muscle or joint pain and a hives, which appears as welts that itch, burn or sting and move or vaccinate your headache before a finer, red rash appears on the torso and spreads change shape. Flare-ups can be triggered by an allergic reaction child against: to the rest of the body. In both diseases, a child is contagious one and can be treated with over-the-counter antihistamines.”

• measles, at nine and 18 months; week before the rash begins until two weeks after it disappears.”

• chickenpox at 12 to 18 months Chickenpox has the longest incubation period, with symptoms treatment and again between the ages of only appearing up to 21 days after exposure to the virus. “It starts While rest, pain medication or calming topical lotions and lots four and six years old, and as red dots that develop into hundreds of blisters. It is spread by of TLC are usually all that’s needed to treat viral skin diseases, • measles, mumps and rubella direct contact with the blister fluid, which contains the varicellabacterial diseases often require a doctor’s visit. “If your child with the MMR vaccine zoster virus, so children are contagious until the last blister has develops scarlet fever or impetigo they will need a course of between 15 to 18 months and scabbed and dried.” antibiotics,” advises Guest. “A classic sign of scarlet fever is a again between the ages of five sore throat and a very red, swollen tongue. A fine rash starts on and seven years old. younger children and infants the face and chest before spreading. The skin on your child’s “The first sign of fifth disease is usually bright red cheeks that look hands and feet may peel. Children with impetigo usually develop as though the child has been ‘slapped’,” says Guest. “The rash then moves to the arms pus-filled, round lesions on the face and then the body. The sores heal slowly and and legs and can last up to 10 days. Hand, foot and mouth disease starts as small red seldom scar.” spots in the mouth that develop into painful ulcers. Blisters also form on the soles of the Parents should be aware of rashes that could be a sign of a serious infection called feet and palms of the hands. Children are contagious during the first week and can remain meningococcemia – a condition where blood starts to clot throughout the body. Symptoms contagious even after symptoms have gone. Roseola is common in children aged six include a very high fever, lethargy and a stiff neck, followed by a tiny rash that looks like months to two years. Often a child will have a high temperature for a few days and once it pin pricks and develops into large purply blotches. Should your child develop any of these drops, patchy, small, pink bumps appear on the back, chest and abdomen.” symptoms, seek medical attention immediately.

keep it clean Regular hand washing is one way you can prevent the spread of nasty infections, such as hepatitis A. By VANESSA PAPAS ingesting the virus), it can spread in other ways.” He says your child could pick it up by playing in a puddle of contaminated water, or from eating contaminated food or unwashed fruit and vegetables.

If you suspect your child may have hepatitis A, take them to a doctor who will perform a physical examination and a blood test. Treatment is symptomatic and it can take several days, even weeks, before your child will be well again. Bed rest and good nutrition are advised.

Fortunately, there is a vaccine against hepatitis A. “The vaccines contain no live virus and therefore have few side effects (apart from soreness at the site of the injection), and can be administered by your doctor or your local chemist,” says Cape Town nursing practitioner Sandy Daynes. “The vaccines must be given before exposure to the virus and won’t help if your child has already become infected.” The vaccine is given in two shots, administered six months apart for maximum protection.

Global Handwashing Day Parents are encouraged to teach their children to be hand-washing champions. Good hygiene could literally mean the difference between life and death for your child.

• Wash every inch of their hands, including the backs of their hands, their wrists, under their fingernails and between their fingers.

• Rinse and dry your child’s hands properly using a clean towel or let their hands air-dry.

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October 2011

good to know • W ashing your child’s hands with soap and water helps reduce the incidence of diarrhoeal disease by more than 40 percent.

• Wash your child’s hands before meal times, after they’ve blown their nose, coughed or sneezed, after playing outside, if they’ve been touching animals (including the household pet) and, most importantly, after they’ve been to the toilet.

• Establish a hand-washing routine so that it becomes second nature for your child.

• If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitiser.

• When buying unpackaged food, ensure the person serving you is wearing plastic gloves.

• Bacteria can grow on towels, so keep them clean, or opt for disposable towels.

• Germs and bacteria can grow on soap bars if they’re left to lie in water. Keep soap dry or use a liquid soap.

magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

hildren are especially curious about the world around them and use their hands to explore everything, often picking up germs that could cause diarrhoeal diseases and acute respiratory infections.

Washing your child’s hands often is one of the most effective ways to prevent the spread of many infections, from colds and influenza to food poisoning, Rotavirus and hepatitis A. “Hepatitis A is a general term that means inflammation of the liver,” explains Johannesburg general practitioner Dr Gavin Zipp. “While it’s the mildest of the common hepatitis virus infections (hepatitis B and hepatitis C), it still packs a nasty punch and can cause your child to suffer fever, nausea, vomiting, stomach cramps, and fatigue. It’s a foodborne viral illness and spreads rapidly where children are in close contact with each other, placing nursery schools at high risk. While the infection is mainly transmitted via the faecal-oral route (going to the toilet and not washing hands, then touching your face or food and accidentally

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October 2011

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blog

surviving the riding boots brigade One small fashion faux pas turned this

n

ote to self: wear riding boots on the outside of my jeans when attending school functions.

I have, unwittingly, committed a fashion faux pas and run foul of the Riding Boots Brigade again at my children’s school. My friend greets me with an apologetic grin as I get out of the car. “What were you thinking?” What indeed. I should know better than to leave my retail-store jeans on the outside of my boots.

This is the school car park, after all, where there are strict rules about these things. There are unspoken codes here about what car to drive, what clothes to

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October 2011

wear and, as I have recently discovered, how to wear one’s boots. I try and shrug it off, telling myself that I could start a whole new fashion trend.

But alas, one of the perfectly-coiffed moms walks past me, and immediately glances down at my offending footwear.

Ashamed and embarrassed, I climb back into the car and start Facebooking in search of some virtual commiseration. A good friend immediately posts a reply. “I personally feel a little too ‘under-plastic surgeried’ when attending sports matches against your school.” I reply promptly, still smarting from my school-run gaffe: “Yip, silly me, I forgot my fake boobs at home today.”

Another friend helpfully points out that at least I have the de rigueur car, a gleaming SUV. “But did you remember to hitch the horse box?” she asks.

And then someone else admits that she is, in fact, part of the dreaded boot brigade. “I was told it looks cool,” she posts apologetically.

A poor mom who obviously did not make the grade reveals that her pink welly boots “went down a treat” when she dropped her daughter at a netball match earlier in the week. The poor child is still pretending she’s adopted to cope with the shame. I’ve heard of worse sins, though: mothers in slippers, coffee-stained T-shirts and (gasp) even pyjamas, sneaking in through the school gates in the hope that no one will notice.

I start to get a few pangs of guilt about my Facebook rant, and I quickly post that I really do like this school, despite the heavy demands it sometimes places on my wardrobe. Besides, I know that there’s a Riding Boots Brigade in all schools…

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

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illustration: shutterstock.com / Alys Suter

mom into a school car park lot outcast.

upfront with paul

if music be the food of love, play on PAUL KERTON relishes the special moments when he gets to watch his daughters mastering their musical instruments.

PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

i

was just drifting away, listening to a particularly rousing bit of a Coldplay anthem when Sabina, then aged five and three quarters, announced that she wanted to learn to play the violin. I almost fell off my chair. Great idea.

The fact that the violin is one of the most difficult instruments to master, when she had barely mastered the alphabet, still had trouble counting and had the attention span of a gnat, seemed irrelevant. YouTube appears to be bursting with child prodigies still in nappies playing Johann Sebastian Bach’s Violin Concerto in A Minor, so why not her?

Music is such a natural way of expressing yourself and there isn’t a person on the planet who doesn’t resonate with some kind of serenade, whether it’s heavy rock, rap, or light water music.

So I found a quarter-sized violin (not easy by the way), and a fabulous local violin teacher who is experienced and calm, and doesn’t put up with any of Sabina’s nonsense.

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Saskia, Paul and Sabina

Her early attempts at following the music – dressed in purple leggings, red Wellington boots and a skew tea-cosy hat, while barely able to see over the music stand (on its lowest setting), brought a lump to my throat. Watching her pizzicatoing until her fingers were sore had me bursting with pride – my daughter was actually playing (okay learning) the violin!

It isn’t as if music runs in the family. I can play a bit of guitar and fiddle on the piano and Gran took piano lessons, but I never had any formal training, apart from

attempting lead guitar in a screeching Hendrix-esque band for a six-week period one summer holiday. Alas, when everybody fell out over who should be the leader, I kissed my budding rock career goodbye.

Saskia has been learning piano for a while but, because she started later, I sadly never got to witness her learn.

Music is tough for a child, with its minims and crotchets, beats and scales, but it is amazing how it helps with reading and maths. Above all though, it is the discipline that is key. The realisation that you need

to practise, practise, practise to get something right, instead of giving up and disappearing to the comfort of the TV; the usual cop out.

Everybody wants to be famous these days but it is better, musically, if you have a good grounding before you audition for X Factor. I remember interviewing the Eurythmics’ Annie Lennox, who started out as a shy, classically trained pianist from Dundee. She told me that she credits those disciplined, formative years for giving her the confidence and ability to complement her talents, and make it to the top. It bears notice.

Now that Sabina is using the bow properly – actually reading the music – and has graduated to a half-sized violin, I no longer get to watch her fumble her way through lessons. But watching her practise and expertly handle the violin and its rituals – tightening the bow, setting the rest – are very special moments for me.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.

October 2011

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dealing with difference

healing

smiles

About one in 700 children is born with a cleft lip or palate. CLAIRE RENCKEN’s son, Aidan, was one of them.

t all started on June 12, 2008, when I had the 20-week scan where they check for anatomical irregularities. When the sonographer told us she had detected a cleft lip that “appeared to extend into the palate”, I felt as if someone had literally knocked the wind out of me. I was numb, as was my husband who, thankfully, was there with me holding my hand.

My gynaecologist put us in touch with Prof Laurence Chait, the plastic surgeon at the helm of the Cleft Lip and Palate Programme at the Netcare Park Lane Hospital in Johannesburg. He works with a team of specialists, including an ENT doctor, an orthodontist, a speech therapist and a social worker.

Chait said he could fix the problem, irrespective of whether it was the lip or the lip and the palate. I was relieved that Aidan could be a perfectly happy and healthy child despite this unexpected, yet surprisingly common, birth defect.

prevent him interfering with the stitches), he had to be syringe-fed and couldn’t have the comfort of his dummy for a whole week. He healed beautifully and his scar is now barely visible. At nine months, he had his first palate surgery. The top of his little mouth resembled a road map with all the stitches, and once again we endured the casts on the arms, syringe feeding and no dummy for a week. This time Aidan was more mobile and he missed the use of his arms and the solid foods he’d been enjoying. When the stitches dissolved, I saw a work of art. Chait had not only repaired about 80 percent of the cleft, but he had crafted an uvula out of existing tissue in the mouth. It was amazing. Aidan could now eat with almost no food coming out of his nose.

In January this year, my brave little warrior (his resilience never ceases to amaze me) went under the knife again for a second palate surgery. My busy

I’m not saying it has been an easy journey. Aidan’s cleft was a unilateral, complete cleft of the lip and palate on the left hand side of his face. He had to be fed using specialised bottles – soft bottles that you can squeeze – as babies with clefts cannot suckle properly. We also found that Aidan swallowed a lot of air when drinking.

But we got through it. Aidan will be three years old this month. He is a handsome, bright and well-adjusted little boy, who attends playschool and gets up to just as much mischief as his peers.

getting it fixed Aidan had his first corrective surgery – the lip repair – when he was not even four months old. His little arms were in casts (to

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October 2011

toddler kept saying “off” as he tugged at the casts on his arms. But we survived, and Aidan now has only a negligible hole just behind his front teeth, which doesn’t interfere with eating or speech development. The gap in the gum is still there and will be reviewed at a later stage by the orthodontist and Chait once Aidan’s permanent teeth are through. Due to the compromised Eustachian tube, which links the pharynx to the middle ear, and is associated with clefts, ear infections can be a problem. So Aidan has had a few sets of grommets and the ENT specialist checks on them regularly.

He goes for speech therapy once a week and is making great progress. Thankfully, there is life after a cleft. magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPH: CLAIRE RENCKEN / ILLUSTRATION: SAMANTHA SUMMERFIELD

In no way did having a cleft palate prevent me from leading a normal, happy life and achieving all that I set out to.

1.

2.

3.

. Incomplete unilateral cleft lip 1 2. Complete unilateral cleft lip 3. Complete bilateral cleft lip Aidan with his dad, Ross, moments before his lip repair surgery on 5 February 2009.

living with a repaired cleft Martin Roemer, 35, from the East Rand in Johannesburg, says, “Being born with a cleft lip and palate certainly had an impact on my life. I felt self-conscious about the scar on my lip and the flattened appearance of my nose on the side of the cleft. When I was 18, I had my last operation. It was mainly cosmetic, as the flattened side of my nose was built up using cartilage from my rib cage to make it look more symmetrical. I was very happy with the result and no longer felt self-conscious.

Now that I am in my mid-thirties, however, I am becoming more aware of having a cleft palate again because I am struggling to breathe out of the side of my nose that was repaired. My palate seems to be losing its elasticity too, resulting in small gaps opening along the cleft, making it harder to speak as clearly as I used to. My teeth on either side of the cleft are becoming less stable in my mouth and I fear they will eventually fall out and have to be replaced with a bridge. In a few year’s time, I will probably need corrective surgery again, particularly on my nose to help me breathe a bit better and in my mouth to close the palate again. Despite these complications, I have rarely felt compromised by them. In no way did having a cleft palate prevent me from leading a normal, happy life and achieving all that I set out to.”

by one or more of three main factors: an inherited characteristic (gene) from one or both parents, environmental factors such as exposure to a sub-clinical virus in early pregnancy, and genetic syndromes.

Clefts in the lip can range from a tiny notch in the upper lip (an incomplete cleft) to a split that extends into the nose (a complete cleft). A cleft palate can range from a small malformation, which results in minimal problems, to a large separation of the palate that interferes with eating and speaking. Clefts are often referred to as unilateral, a split on one side, or bilateral, one split on each side.

In 50 percent of cases, the cleft lip and palate occur together; a condition more common in boys. The occurrence of the cleft palate on its own, in 30 percent of cases, is more common in girls. In the remaining 20 percent, the cleft is of the lip only.

Dr Paul Skoll, who performs cleft lip and palate repairs at Netcare Christiaan Barnard Memorial Hospital in Cape Town, offers the following advice: “When planning to fall pregnant, women should start taking 5mg folic acid per day, as this has been shown to decrease the incidence of neural tube defects as well as clefts. Usually one only confirms that one is pregnant after several weeks, by which time most facial development may be complete, so it could be too late to only start the supplement at that time.”

what is it and why does it occur?

We all start out life with a cleft lip and palate.

During normal fetal development, between the sixth and 11th week of pregnancy, the clefts in the lip and palate fuse together. In babies born with a cleft lip and/or palate, one or both of these splits fail to fuse.

Specialists are still puzzled about the exact cause, but most believe clefts are caused magazine joburg

get help Cleft lip and palate support group: 021 404 6459 Cleft Friends: visit cleftfriends.co.za Cleft Angels SA: info@cleftangels. co.za or visit cleftangels.co.za

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overnight sensation Raising twins or triplets often involves more logistics than the

t

wenty years ago, falling pregnant with triplets didn’t make headline news. You’d have to produce at least sextuplets, in the Rosenkowitz mould, to crack that – and then you’d be lucky enough to land chain store sponsorship.

No, a set of triplets only causes tabloid headlines at home, where it creates ripples in your immediate family circle and changes your life forever.

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As a 30-something, committed career woman and, truth be told, not a “baby” person, the arrival of fraternal triplets Paige, James and Christopher in June 1990, 10 weeks premature, was more of a collision in my life than a delivery. “How did you cope?” was the question most asked.

The answer was that we sometimes did not. Any couple presented with a set of preemies weighing collectively less than a

single full-term baby faces the following: weeks in neonatal intensive care, the anxiety of nasal tube feeding – and trying to express enough milk to go around, separation anxiety, countless medical complications, and sky-rocketing bills. In 1990, it cost roughly R75 000 to have a set of triplets at a private clinic. Today, this can cost more than R500 000, depending on the duration of neonatal high care.

Triplets seldom last the full 40-week gestation period and, as was the case with my tribe, may suffer apnea and bradycardia attacks (bradycardia is a slowing of the heart rate, usually to less than 80 beats per minute for a premature baby; it often follows apnea, which is very shallow breathing). At 30 weeks, a baby’s lungs are not fully developed and can collapse. With them wired up to

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illustration / PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

invasion of a foreign country, says mother-of-three LES AUPIAIS.

monitors, shielded in incubators and too fragile to hold, I could only observe my little miracles as they struggled to survive.

Medical science, and their innate will to live, pulled them through.

coming home Five to seven weeks later, when my triplets were discharged a week apart, the “fun” really began. Because of their birth weight differences and characters, they did not sleep in sync. It would be years before all three were lights out and down for six

coping mechanisms Establishing a fairly rigid routine is a priority. A mother of a single baby may be able to waive the rules but with multiples, you’re asking for triple trouble.

Janine and Deon van Schalkwyk, of Cape Town, have an eight-and-a-half year-old daughter Dayle and six-year-old triplets, Gia, Kate and India. Born between 900g and 1,1kg, their daughters were in the neonatal ward for six weeks. “We were lucky the Life Kingsbury Hospital had established a good routine, which we

Establishing a fairly rigid routine is a priority.

A mother of a single baby may be able to waive the rules but with multiples, you’re asking for triple trouble. hours. Instead it was two up, one down and a combination of that while we snatched a few hours of sleep in between. We went through 600 nappies a month, had 12 bottles of formula on standby, bought a new Kombi (which became a great “camp out” spot for the off-duty parent), prams, clothes, car seats... And all the while, you’re trying to keep your relationship on an even keel. Note to dads: that little TV remote may be stored for a long, long time and it might be an idea to invest in a PVR so you can watch sport later.

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Dayle, who reacted strongly a year after the triplets came home. “I think that it became a problem when Dayle’s friends wanted to play with the triplets rather than with her.” Making each child feel special, and encouraging them to spend “private time” with their mom, is something she believes you should do consciously. “I spend 20 minutes every day with one of the triplets and we do puzzles, read or play.” It helps that the Van Schalkwyks don’t refer to the three as “triplets”, but by their names, to avoid the sense that they are a single entity. The girls, who spent the first five years together at school,

now have their own friends and are in split classes.

together or not?

Jill Bosman, a primary school teacher preparing for her Master’s degree in research pathology, believes that while teachers and parents often make that decision, it’s rarely, if ever, posed to the multiples, who may know best whether a split or a classroom buddy system would work for them. The biggest challenge comes when “one child underachieves, and school staff are faced with the decision as to whether or not to hold

managed to keep,” she says. Organised and level-headed, Janine believes she herself has become a lot calmer and accepting of the small hurricane that triplets cause. “I’m a lot better with the mess and I’m less controlling. So what if half the sandpit comes into the house?”

The family live on a smallholding in Hout Bay and her mother-in-law, sister-in-law and brother-in-law stay next door. There’s a brilliant support system (including cousins on tap), but Janine says her biggest challenge was her older daughter

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only one of the multiples back a year,” she says. Being kept back may help the child academically, but Australian psychologist Dr David Hay noted in his research that the twin left behind will be constantly aware of being “less than the other” and this may even cause a lasting rift. And that’s too high a price to pay for any parent.

In my case, James had ADHD and needed tutoring and two years at a top private remedial school, an investment that paid off as all three attended a top Model C high school and matriculated with a solid university entrance pass.

The financial cost of James’s private and intense remedial work paled against the sense of achievement the triplets felt at starting tertiary education – albeit in wildly different directions – together.

There is no doubt that twins and “trips” have a special bond that seems to strengthen over the years, even though they may be quite different. Twins Colin and Shaun Pitzer, 18, live in Johannesburg

support Apart from routine, support systems play a huge role in coping with multiples. Cape Town-based Estelle and Eben Greyling have three-and-a-half year old triplets; two girls, Charlie and Tessa, and a boy, Ruben; and an older daughter of nine, Leigh. Estelle carried her triplets to 38 weeks and delivered the three at a miraculous average of 2,2kg. Estelle has no parents on her side, but dear family friends (her parents’ age) have become willing and devoted surrogate grandparents. “Joan and Jannie see the triplets often, they fetch and carry, and take them to swimming lessons.” Eben is a helicopter pilot with a packed schedule, but he finds time to play with the children every day. Estelle groans at the noise levels, but she sensibly gives herself a day of “me” time every Saturday from eight to five to recharge her own batteries. She and Eben also make time for coffee and dinners out.

Parents can be the weakest link if their relationship isn’t actively nurtured.

Having twins or triplets is about abundant life and an investment in love and nurturing that pays off a hundredfold. and while born an important two minutes apart (Colin is quick to claim “first child” status), they almost mirror each other’s characters and skills. “We excel in different subjects,” says Shaun, “but we always help each other out.” Their parents did dress them identically when they were young (a confession that elicits a collective groan), but today they have different hobbies, different circles of friends and opposite careers planned.

Although fiercely bonded, they remain their own people.

double (or triple) trouble Multiples are sometimes naughtier simply because while one child may bore of a game of “search and destroy”, two or three children are likely to combine their energy and momentum. Johannesburg-based Marion Smith, the mother of two-year-old twins, speaks with wry amusement about an entire tea set thrown out the back door “because the sound of breaking cups and saucers was good”. My three “killed” our Kreepy Krauly by pushing cardboard wine sleeves through the pool net and choking the mechanism. But multiples also learn to share quickly among themselves and therefore with other children.

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It is no surprise that these parents seem more organised and well-informed.

Today, the multiple birth phenomenon is documented, researched and understood better. While no accurate SA statistics are pinpointing how many more multiples are born now as opposed to 20 to 25 years ago, fertility specialists are more successful and there is careful monitoring during pregnancy, which ensures that babies are watched closely and more frequently. The amniocentesis, to detect chromosomal abnormalities and fetal infections, has also improved the chances of a healthy multiple birth.

But that’s the science. Having twins or triplets is about abundant life and an investment in love and nurturing that pays off a hundredfold.

My triplets have just turned 21. At their celebration, they spoke about each other and the loving circle of family and friends who had collectively raised them.

We realised, that amid the sweat and grind of routine, pranks, tantrums, teenage grumpiness and rebellion, celebrations, gifts and groundings, they have quietly, and with great love, logged our every moment of devotion, care and support. We knew then that we are the richer for it all. magazine joburg

tips and short cuts • M arion says she was told about a midwife who made herself a special breastfeeding cushion, placed at the right height, so that she could feed her twins simultaneously. This depends on how much milk you have available and with triplets, it may mean expressing what you can to give them those essential fatty acids and enzymes. But supplement with formula to keep up essential nutrition.

• If you’re having trouble expressing milk yourself, Estelle suggests using a mechanical breast pump.

• Establish a routine that continues from hospital to home.

• Get help for the nights so you can survive the days.

• Don’t panic and buy a bigger house before your multiples are born, as trips can share space for some time. There’s too much stress as it is. The extra room can wait.

• If you have an older child or children, be careful to spend “special” time with them as they can become angry and resentful at the arrival of a “three-ringed circus” that hogs the spotlight.

• Set aside a day or at least a half-day for yourself, or take a night away to reconnect with your husband. It’s not an extravagance, it’s a necessity. A deteriorating sex life can be the last straw in an already stressful home life.

• Get expert advice on whether to split the multiples at school. It seems the rule of thumb is that under the age of five, twins and triplets need to be together for support and confidence. After the first five years, they are secure and their characters are established enough for them to make their own way.

• Solving sibling rivalry: A mom of twins once told me that establishing a “King of the Week” routine stopped the bickering. This means one child (of twins or triplets) gets to rule the roost for a week – and choose things like sitting next to Mom or having the window seat. Try doing it in birth order. It’s an “official” rule that they understand.

• For support and information, contact the South African Multiple Birth Association: 0861 432 432 or visit samultiplebirth.co.za

how it happens Identical twins or multiples are monozygotic, meaning that a single fertilised egg has split into two or more embryos. These twins share the same set of chromosomes and physical features and are the same sex.

Non-identical twins or multiples, also known as fraternal, occur when two or more eggs are fertilised. The siblings do not have to be the same sex or share physical attributes. Non-identical twins are usually hereditary and are more common.

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building for the future Are we modelling the values we want our children to take with them into

y parents used to do their monthly shop on a tight budget when we were growing up. I remember, as a young teen, savouring each mouthful of my portion of the biscuit ration. I thought very little about the way we fairly apportioned treats until one day, a visiting friend remarked on how odd she found our having bought just one bar of nougat, which we then divided among us. It never seemed strange to me – that was just the way we did things. We shared, and we were grateful for the bit we got. Sharing was part of our family culture – something we did without thinking.

I like the way Tim Stafford talks about family culture in his book Never Mind the

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Joneses (Intervarsity Press). He refers to it as simply the “particular, peculiar way” each family does things. Family culture reflects the way our habits turn values into practical living. “You value friendliness? Your family culture will show it. You value money or your extended family? Your family culture will express these values,” says Stafford.

“From family culture, children learn values before they can even talk. And they don’t forget them. Habits stick,” Stafford adds.

Values might be traits such as being hardworking, generosity, contentment, caring for the environment, courage, creativity, honesty, inclusiveness, a positive attitude, patience, trust, humility or fairness. They provide a road map for our

children and are an inner guide to assist in decision-making. “Values are passed on from parents to children and reveal a parent’s beliefs and attitudes about living and relationships,” says Megan de Beyer, a Cape Town-based psychologist and parenting coach. Values shape both our character and our attitudes towards others and they determine our behaviour. “Values equip children to become the adults we want them to be,” adds Liz Dooley, director of the Family Life Centre in Johannesburg.

getting real with ourselves “I often ask my clients what sort of values they’d like their children to have and they say things like happy, positive, loyal,

responsible, respectful, motivated and hardworking,” says Dooley. “Then I ask them which ones they live out. Answering that is always a lot more challenging.”

Each of us would do well to consider this same question. Our families are certain to benefit from a few minutes of self-reflection (I know ours has). Some other questions you might want to answer include: are the values we are modelling the things we are hoping to instil in our children? Are these the values and habits we would like them to take into adulthood?

One of the challenges relating to values is that they’re more caught than taught.

“A supportive, nourishing and cohesive family, who embraces the growth of their

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

adulthood? ELAINE EKSTEEN considers this challenging question.

children, will inspire pro-social behaviour like kindness, sharing, consideration, honesty and loyalty. How they treat each other will transmit these values naturally,” says De Beyer. “Families who try and teach consideration, responsibility and gratitude with reminders and lectures, yet without demonstrating these in the home, will not pass on these values.

I have seen many parents who bandy around the word ‘respect’; when they say ‘respect your mother’ they misuse the word. What they really mean is ‘do as you are told’. Children pick up the intentions and underlying message of the parent.

A parent can’t expect honesty if they themselves lie or are deceitful,” says De Beyer. Our own behaviour and the things we purport to value need to equate if we are going to be effective in passing on values to our children.

chatting things through Johannesburg parents Molefe and Ntsiki Mputamputa have two daughters, who are 18 and nine years old, and a baby on the way. They believe that practising what

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they preach is a critical part of building values into their family. Equally important is communication. “We talk a lot about what we expect – our children know what we value. Although I have been working full time it’s been possible for me to take the children to school and fetch them again.

The time we’ve spent together in the car has been invaluable – with nothing else to do, it’s the perfect opportunity to instil values,” says Ntsiki.

Values equip children to become the adults we want them to be.

Dooley agrees that talking about our values is an important part of the process.

“Although we teach our children by modelling what we believe,” says Dooley, “it’s also important to take opportunities to talk about our family values.” Let’s not be shy to name the things we value as a family, and discuss them: if you’re

reading a story to your child or watching a TV programme together, make use of appropriate opportunities to discuss your values.

there’s no one, right way Living out our values is, however, not a one-size-fits-all exercise. Each value can be learnt through dozens of different habits. We need to adopt the approach that works for the sort of people we are, taking into account “our individual personalities – our quirks, our personal preferences, our interests and our temperaments,” says Stafford.

Hard work, for instance, can be made part of your family culture in a number of ways. Cape Town parents Tarryn and Anton Badenhorst, who have four boys between the ages of 12 and two, count this as one of their family’s core values. “Anton grew up in a home where if you could fix it or build it yourself that’s what you did, and this understanding about work has carried through into our family,” says Tarryn. “The boys have observed their father and Oupa doing many jobs together. As they’ve

grown older, they’ve been invited to help with various tasks in and around our home.

The older three have helped to paint their bedrooms, unload bricks for a garden path, build a tree house and lift kitchen tiles. Their motivation to participate is that the tasks are fun, dirty and interesting, plus it’s time spent with Dad and, very often, Oupa too. Sometimes they earn a bit of money for their effort.”

For the Mputamputas, sharing their own stories with their children has reinforced the value of hard work. “We

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Our family culture reflects the way our family’s habits turn our values into practical living.

are both naturally hard workers; around the house and at our careers,” says Molefe.

“Our children know our stories: they know things didn’t come to us easily and that it took a lot for us to be where we are today in terms of education and career. Our girls have grown to appreciate our journeys.

Because of this, we teach them that they can’t have everything they want; they need to earn things. They also know that for the garden to look good, Dad has put in a lot of effort; for the house to look great, Mom has put in a lot of effort.”

Chores can also help instil the value of hard work. Tarryn says, “From as young as two years old, we’ve taught our sons the importance of their contribution to family life. To encourage them, I’ve often said that

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our family is a team and we all have a part to play. The boys have age-appropriate chores to do in the home – from emptying the dishwasher and picking up dog poo, to setting the table, emptying the kitchen bin and making their beds.”

That said, another child might learn a good work ethic through playing a musical instrument. There are many more ways to model and teach the value of hard work.

When instilling the value of generosity, for example, you might like to invite your children to help choose the charities you’d like to donate to as a family. Or pop an extra snack into their lunch box so they can share it with someone at school.

Caring for the environment might involve your family recycling, picking up

litter, learning the names of birds and trees so as to appreciate them better, starting a vegetable garden… it really is up to you.

Helping your child learn values can be a creative, fun process.

said if they save their own money for it they can buy it. Most often the thought of having to spend their own money quickly changes their desperate need for the toy,” she says.

swimming upstream

cut yourself some slack

In teaching values you may need to go against the tide. “It’s very challenging to teach contentment to our children in today’s ‘I want, I want more, I want it now’ society. I strongly feel that for our children to learn this value, they need to see it modelled in our lives,” says Tarryn.

“Contentment also grows out of an attitude of thankfulness. We encourage our boys to be thankful for the toys, clothes, and other things they do have, rather than focusing on what they don’t. On the few occasions the boys have wanted to get some more Lego or another car, we’ve

Perhaps the issue of imparting family values leaves you feeling a bit daunted.

Don’t let it. Parenting is not about being perfect; it’s about being on a journey where we choose to do the best we can today, and then start again tomorrow with the same intention. It’s about being honest about when we get it wrong, which we will, and apologising when we need to.

Why not take a look at the list of things you value and start small. Begin with something achievable, and you may find you’ve soon accomplished more than you expected.

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dad’s blog

lasting friendships MARC DE CHAZAL wonders if his children’s friendships will stand the test of time.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

d

o you still have a childhood friend, someone you shared marbles and break times with, and now share a beer or glass of wine with over the weekend while you talk about how big little Johnny is and how ridiculously expensive it is to raise children today?

Friendship can be quite circumstantial, I agree. We grow up and move on, often far away, and we lose touch with the buddies we played with back in school.

But then, we make new friends along the way to share our lives with. Family ties and friendship are integral to the human experience.

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As I’ve watched my children make friends, I often wonder which of their friendships will stand the test of time.

friendships I’m more curious about… the “best friends forever” vibe. One thing I have observed is that friendship tends

If the social media wave has not broken by the time they’re adults, it will be a lot easier for them to maintain ties with their childhood mates.

If the social media wave has not broken by the time they’re adults, it will be a lot easier for them to maintain ties with their childhood mates. But it’s the closer

to become less fickle as children grow older. By the time the teenage years roll in, their peers take on a far greater importance. They’re more likely to keep

in touch with their high school buddies later in life.

Whether friendship is momentary or lifelong, it seems more important that our children develop quality friendships than try to reflect the long list of Facebook friends they’ve notched up.

Or, as the prominent American politician Samuel Johnston put it, “True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice.”

Read more of Marc de Chazal’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za

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are girls and boys wired differently?

Does your daughter’s bent for Barbies, and your son’s for soccer, reflect biological gender differences, or social expectations and your parenting?

By GLYNIS HORNING

c

anadian couple David Stocker and Kathy Witterick whipped up a storm this year when they declined to disclose the sex of their newborn baby.

They announced that they are raising the neutrally, and appropriately, named Storm as “genderless” until the child is old enough to “choose” which gender he or she is most comfortable with, unfettered by “social norms”. But how much do social norms influence gender, and how much is hardwired into a child by nature? It’s an old debate given new direction by advances in biological and psychological research.

shows they use both hemispheres more – talk about multi-tasking.” At maturity, boys’ brains have a larger mass than girls’, but that doesn’t mean they are cleverer, she says. The differences seem linked to the presence of high levels of testosterone in boy babies. Research indicates that female brains are stronger in the left hemisphere, whereas in males the right hemisphere is generally stronger, bringing developmental differences, says Lameze Abrahams, principal psychologist at Lentegeur Psychiatric Hospital in Mitchells Plain, and senior lecturer in the Department

Girls will be more likely to back down in a confrontation, while boys will experience a surge of testosterone and act out.

developing differently Brain images show that girls’ brains develop more rapidly during early childhood, and boys’ brains are more “lateralised”, indicating that boys make greater use of one hemisphere during early childhood, says Bustin. “Activation in girls’ brains

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of Psychiatry and Mental Health at the University of Cape Town. “Girls start using gestures, such as pointing and waving byebye, sooner than boys. They also tend to talk sooner (around 12 months versus 13 or 14 for boys), and by 16 months, girls use more words (around 100 versus 30). But the gap narrows, and by two-and-and-half both boys and girls use around 500 words.”

learning differently Studies show that girls and boys learn differently too. It seems the regions of the brain responsible for language and fine motor skills mature earlier in girls, while those responsible for certain cognitive abilities, such as spatial memory and visual-spatial skills, are believed to mature earlier in boys, says Bustin.

Schools don’t always cater for these differences, and this can act against the interests of young boys, she says. “Boys learn kinaesthetically – they generally prefer to learn while moving or manipulating things.” Some schools have found that boys perform better academically when given regular short periods of activity between periods of formal learning. “The magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

“Both social norms and neurophysiological differences play a role in gender differentiation, and the relative contribution of each has only recently been understood – and continues to be discovered and to be controversial,” says Durban child and educational psychologist Dr Caron Bustin, a former pre-primary school principal. “This is especially so because these very differences can be manipulated according to our own bias or agenda.” Our opinions as parents are still as likely to be based on our own experiences and inclinations or social group as on our knowledge of medical, technological advances, she says. “Yet these advances have shown a consistent developmental pattern of neurological growth that supports the view that boys’ and girls’ brains do differ.”

large motor activity is believed to activate parts of the brain that stimulate neural activity. I know from personal experience that if boys are sent out to complete a circuit of the playground, or the whole class runs on the spot and does star jumps, the boys are energised and return to work with greater industry and focus.”

Girls, on the other hand, are more likely to enjoy sitting, listening, and doing fine motor activities such as drawing and cutting. “This plays to the wishes (and minds) of their predominantly female teachers,” says Bustin.

Abrahams says there are also biochemical differences at work: “Boys have less serotonin and oxytocin, hormones that play a role in promoting a sense of calm, than girls. That’s why it’s more likely that young boys will fidget and act impulsively.”

because aggression begets aggression and retaliation. It’s also very difficult to teach children conflict resolution when they’ve been urged to solve problems physically; they’re no longer focused on the process, but on an instant short-term solution.”

Both psychologists are impressed by the readiness of new millennium parents to learn more about child raising, and report that they are “much more enquiring” about different forms of education, learning, communication and discipline. The upshot, says Bustin, is that while there are undoubtedly social pressures about gender expectations, few parents now talk in generalisations. “They talk rather about their child and his or her unique personality and genetic inheritance, which is as it should be.”

do we stereotype? behaving differently Girls and boys express themselves differently, play differently and even throw tantrums differently, say both psychologists. “Because girls’ brains are wired differently, they may be able to talk about feelings and empathise more than boys, and be more aware of changes in tone of voice,” says Abrahams.

When it comes to discipline, boys may not be as sensitive to other people’s feelings, and may not respond immediately when asked to stop bad behaviour, she adds. They may also react differently in stressful situations. “Girls will be more likely to back down in a confrontation, while boys will experience a surge of testosterone and act out. Parents and teachers need to be aware of these differences and adapt their approach accordingly.”

But times are changing, and today boys are being encouraged to communicate rather than suppress their emotions, says Bustin. “This is a real challenge for some, though.” And the understanding that boys respond to physical education can translate to physical discipline and a return to corporal punishment. “This would be short-sighted, magazine joburg

Consciously or not, most parents hold certain expectations of each gender and reflect these in their interactions and the choices they make for their children.

“Some parents are quite open to toy and play choices,” says Bustin.

“Others may be guided by the desire to provide their child with clear boundaries as to gender orientation not from a homophobic point of view, but because of what they consider to be their responsibility to their child to give them direction.”

In her experience, many parents say they find it difficult when their boys dress as girls. “But this is a healthy and passing stage many boys enjoy. Boys often see it as a huge joke and show, through their behaviour, that they are quite sure of their gender activity.”

Bustin would prefer parents to relax on issues like this and focus on other stereotypes. “Our failure to develop the ‘feminine side’ of boys by encouraging them to be in touch with their feelings, or to stimulate girls in traditionally ‘male’ fields such as the sciences, is a failure in our duty to develop the whole child and October 2011

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Girls and boys express themselves differently, play differently and even throw tantrums differently. equip them for life in general,” she says.

Current research doesn’t show support for a “maths gene”, but there’s plenty of evidence that encouragement and practise improves maths and science skills for girls and for boys.

Durban hairdresser Claire Graham had no qualms about gender stereotyping when she learnt three years ago that her third child would be a girl. Her sons, Murray and Ross, were then five and four.

“And I was ready for something different,” she says. “It’s been such a treat. I did the whole pink thing – pink nursery, pink pram… Sophie knew from the start that pink was her colour, and she loves it.”

But the differences between Sophie and her brothers are far deeper than a coat of pink paint, says Claire. “I’d roll a ball at her as I did for the boys, but she just wasn’t interested. I’d offer a doll, and she’d immediately start rocking it.

Sophie’s always wanted necklaces and high heels, and she’d rather read books

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or sit colouring than scrum down with her sports-mad brothers or tear around with them on bikes.”

Johannesburg PA Kim Furweger, on the other hand, has “never been big on gender roles”. Blue, she says, is her favourite colour, and that’s what her daughter Gaby, 10, and her son Cameron, eight, both tend to wear.

There are differences between the children, she says, but these are “much more to do with personality than gender”.

She says, “I was told boys were more active and naughtier, yet Cameron’s easier; he’s a relaxed child and very focused, and he always finishes projects. Gaby rushes on to the next thing.”

Kim encourages both children to “try everything”, and they do, sharing any possibly inherent gender strengths.

“Cameron asks Gaby to teach him to knit,” she says with satisfaction, “and he gives her criticism when she plays soccer, not that she always appreciates it.”

spot the differences In general:

girls

boys

1 Talk earlier 2 Have better verbal and

1 Walk earlier 2 Have better spatial skills 3 Have better gross motor skills 4 Are attracted to motion 5 Are action-focused 6 Need to be on the move more 7 Are less easily startled by loud

listening skills 3 Have better fine-motor skills 4 Are attracted to faces 5 Are people-focused 6 Are able to sit quietly for longer 7 Are more easily startled by loud noises or voices 8 Are more cautious 9 Are less likely to be injured 10 Are less prone to certain developmental disorders (autism, attention deficit disorder, language disability)

noises and voices 8 Take more risks 9 Are more likely to be injured 10 Are more prone to developmental disorders mentioned under “girls”

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book extract

get cooking

PHOTOGRAPHS: © Dave King, 2011

makes 4 portions • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

350g potatoes, peeled and cubed a generous knob of butter a little milk 30g Cheddar cheese, grated 30g butter 1 egg 1 onion, chopped 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar 30g flour 150ml fish stock 150ml milk 3 tablespoons Parmesan 3 tablespoons double cream 1 tablespoon fresh dill, chopped 150g cod, skinned and cubed 150g salmon, skinned and cubed 40g frozen peas 1 beaten egg, to glaze carrots to decorate, optional

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Budding MasterChefs will love to experiment with these tasty, simple recipes from ANNABEL KARMEL.

Pre-heat the oven to 200°C. Boil the potatoes in boiling, salted water. Drain and mash them with the butter, milk and cheese and season to taste.

Melt the butter in a frying pan and sauté the onion for 5-6 minutes, until it is soft. Add the white wine vinegar and boil for 1-2 minutes, until the liquid has evaporated.

Stir in the flour to make a roux, stirring continuously.

Gradually stir in the fish stock and milk over a medium heat, stirring all the time. Bring to the boil, stirring until it has thickened. Remove from the heat and stir in the Parmesan, cream and the chopped dill. Season to taste.

Divide the fish and peas between 2 or 4 oval-shaped ovenproof dishes and pour over the sauce. Cover with the mashed potato. Brush the potato topping with a little beaten egg. Bake for 20 minutes, and then finish off under a pre-heated grill for a few minutes, until it is golden.

Decorate with some fish-shaped carrots to serve.

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book extract

makes 20-24 meatballs tomato sauce • 2 tablespoons olive oil • 2 red onions, sliced • 1 clove garlic, crushed • 2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar • 2 x 400g tins of chopped tomatoes • 1 tablespoon sun dried tomato purée • 2 teaspoons thyme, chopped • a good pinch of brown sugar meatballs • 250g lean minced beef • 50g apple, grated • 30g fresh breadcrumbs • 25g Parmesan • 1 egg yolk

First make the sauce. Heat the oil in a saucepan. Add the onions and soften for 5 minutes. Add the garlic and vinegar and gently fry for 2-3 minutes. Add the tomatoes, purée, thyme and sugar.

Simmer the tomato sauce for 8-10 minutes before adding the meatballs.

Put all the meatball ingredients together in a bowl. Season and mix using your hands to shape the mixture into 20-24 little balls. Drop them gently into the hot sauce. Cover the pan with a lid and simmer for 15 minutes, until the meatballs are cooked through.

Cook the pasta in boiling salted water, according to the packet’s instructions.

Drain and mix it with the tomato sauce.

Tip the mixture into an ovenproof dish. Grate over the Cheddar cheese. Place under a hot grill for 3-5 minutes to brown the cheese.

• 250g fusilli pasta • 100g Cheddar cheese

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October 2011

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Sift the flour and salt into a mixing bowl. Stir in the yeast, honey, cayenne pepper, mustard and just enough of the water to form soft dough.

Transfer to a floured surface and knead slightly for about 5 minutes to make a smooth, pliable dough. Gradually knead the grated cheese into the dough (this will produce a slightly streaky effect).

Shape the dough into balls or animal shapes and transfer them to a lined baking sheet. Cover them loosely with a tea towel and leave them to rise in a warm place for about an hour.

Brush with beaten egg. If you are making buns, sprinkle the tops with sesame seeds, poppy seeds or grated cheese. Add currants for eyes on the animal shapes. Transfer them to an oven pre-heated to 200°C and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown. The undersides should sound hollow when you tap them. Leave on a wire rack to cool. makes 6 rolls or animals • 250g strong plain flour • generous pinch of salt • half a teaspoon or half a sachet of fast-action dried yeast • half a teaspoon honey • pinch of cayenne pepper • 1 teaspoon dried mustard powder • 200ml warm water • 60g mature Cheddar cheese, grated • 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese, freshly grated to • • • • •

decorate 1 egg, beaten sesame seeds poppy seeds Cheddar cheese, grated currants

about the book Bestselling UK author Annabel Karmel’s latest book, Annabel’s Kitchen: My first cookbook (Ebury, R215) will get even fussy eaters excited about food. With her penguin helpers, Jimmy and Pearl, Annabel shows aspiring cooks how to make nutritious and tasty dishes from around the world. The recipes are easy to follow, with step-by-step instructions and colour photographs. Look out for the handy tips offered with each recipe. The book is available at all good bookshops across the country.

Annabel will be in SA this month to promote her books and her range of baby food. Read our interview with her about nutrition on 11 October on childmag.co.za

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October 2011

29

ideas

Finding a toy that is entertaining and educational is not easy, especially if your

i

have often walked the aisles of toy stores searching for a plaything that won’t be discarded a few moments after unwrapping, but will instead inspire play. In my case, the recommended age guides on the toy box labels offer little help. My son Matt has a rare genetic condition called Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome. So, when he was younger and I was still struggling to come to terms with his diagnosis, these labels would just remind me of how different he was from other children.

Added to this emotional turmoil was the stress of knowing that the right toys are an important part of creating a learning environment. With Matt’s syndrome and developmental delay, I felt pressured to give him all the help possible to reach his

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October 2011

potential. So what should have been a fun outing to the toy shop would turn into a stressful and emotional experience. Now, nearly five years later, I’ve found greater peace with Matt’s diagnosis, and I’ve learnt a few things about choosing toys that make the shopping experience less daunting.

I found great help from Cape Town occupational therapist Mush Perrins. “Play relates to the level of skill that the child has at that time in the various areas of development, or the activity the child wants to learn or perfect, such as wanting to ride a tricycle and then riding it well,”

There is no guarantee, despite the best advice, that your carefully chosen toy will enthral and educate. get professional help I know this sounds a bit extreme. I mean, how hard can it be to choose a toy?

But children do much of their developing through play, so it is a crucial decision.

she explains. “So play is not necessarily related to the age of the child.”

Once Perrins had assessed Matt, she was able to identify his stage of development, what play and toys would

interest him and more importantly, what he would be able to do.

I’m sure Matt is like most children – when he realises that something is too difficult for him, he just gives up. I remember Matt was at first intrigued by balls, but when he realised how tricky it was to catch one, he preferred to play with something else. Perrins recommended that we get a ball attached to elastic that could hang from a beam. That way it would be easier for him to control. She couldn’t have been more right – Matt loved it. He spent hours pushing the ball, then hitting it with a bat before he eventually started throwing and kicking this ball. This built up his skills and confidence to start engaging with all types of balls.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

child has different needs. JACQUI TOOKE offers advice based on her experiences.

learn while you play

choose multi-dimensional toys Opt for the kind of toy that is pitched at the level your child is currently at, so he or she will be confident to play with it from the word go; but make sure it can also be used for more complex play as your child matures and hones his or her skills. Duplo, the largersized Lego blocks, are a great example. At first Matt was happy just to build towers, then he progressed to making and playing with aeroplanes and cars. Now he loves playing “pretend house” with the Duplo people. This toy has really grown with him as his interests and abilities have developed.

test drive toys if possible When we visit friends, sit in doctors’ waiting rooms, or interact with a therapist, I watch to see which toys Matt chooses, and which ones really capture his attention. If possible, I ask if we can borrow the toy

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for a couple of days. I observe his play, trying to understand what exactly intrigues him, and I make a written note of it. When I am next toy shopping, I have some clues to guide me. Often, this has resulted in us choosing a captivating toy.

Children with different needs are, at the end of the day, just that – children. And as with all children, they have likes and dislikes. There is no guarantee, despite the best advice, that your carefully chosen toy will enthral and educate.

Looking in Matt’s toy boxes, there are definitely a few items that have rejection issues. Don’t be too hard on yourself if some playthings are discarded like stinky socks. Rather spend your energy celebrating the better toy choices you have made. I am left in no doubt when Matt is besotted with a toy because it goes everywhere with him.

Match the toy to the ability of your child so you don’t cause frustration with a too difficult toy or boredom with one that is just too easy. Many toys often enhance more than one area of development.

• Gross motor development Big muscles are strengthened by playing with wagons, riding a bike, climbing frames, sweeping a broom and jumping with a skipping rope.

• Fine motor development Work the small muscles in hands, and improve hand-eye coordination with puzzles, stacking blocks, balls, threading toys or play dough.

• Sensory development Stimulate the five senses with musical instruments, touch-and-feel books and sand or water play toys.

• Social development Encourage your child to interact with others, by using dolls, puppets and dress-up clothes.

• Intellectual development and creativity Expose your child to various art materials, books and board games that incorporate logic, sequencing, reasoning and eventually problem-solving.

• Language development Use any toy that invites conversation.

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health

a testing time The range of tests now available to pregnant moms can seem more daunting than reassuring. Which should you consider? GLYNIS HORNING reports.

w

hatever your fitness, family history and age, the excitement of pregnancy can come tinged with a quiet concern – will my baby be healthy? Having my first at 39 and second at 42, my concern was less quiet. Risk of a baby with Down’s syndrome (DS) soars from around 1 in 1 400 pregnancies before age 25 to 1 in 350 at 35, and 1 in 32 at 45, and other rarer chromosomal abnormalities also increase with age.

Today a slew of non-invasive tests can give early indications of your risk for problems such as these, but only amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling (CVS) give a definite diagnosis. They also, however, carry a slight risk of miscarriage.

The choice can be challenging, especially when you are older: to risk having a special-needs child or no child at all (as fertility plummets with age)? For some,

with DS was not high, and she proceeded with confidence.

“When she was born I wanted to hold and feed her immediately to bond, but doctors whisked her away,” says Marcelle.

“They spoke to my partner, and an hour later he told me our daughter had DS. Then they sedated me – the hospital has had moms who ducked out and left their babies!”

In retrospect, Marcelle believes she should have been offered an amniocentesis after the blood test. “They told me my risk was about one in 2 224, which I learned subsequently was not that low.” Yet she’s not sure what she would have done if an amnio had confirmed a baby with DS. “I like to think we wouldn’t have terminated. It’s been hard with our daughter, but I’m bonding more and more with her, and her dad and I can’t imagine life without her – he’s been amazing with her.”

like my husband and me, it was relatively simple. After many contented years of just the two of us, we wanted a healthy child or no child. I had an amnio, and in due course, thankfully, two healthy boys.

But while I’m one of many women grateful for the tests available today, the feeling is not shared by all. Three years ago, Durban school shuttle operator Marcelle Riley was happily pregnant. Just 31, healthy and with no family history of problems, she was unconcerned, and only went for a routine blood test at 19 weeks (the triple blood screening). She was told it showed her chance of having a baby

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October 2011

When Marcelle became pregnant with their second child last year, people expected her to opt for all possible tests.

Yet the only one she and her partner chose to have was a scan at 15 weeks. “After our first baby, we knew we wouldn’t terminate, whatever the result,” she explains. “We only had that scan because the GP suggested we see how the pregnancy was progressing. The measurements were all okay, but I was nervous the day I gave birth. Jessica was fine, and she and her sister are both doing well.”

“All prospective parents need to know what tests they are going for in pregnancy, magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

We knew we wouldn’t terminate – Marcelle Riley, whatever the result. mother of a child with Down’s syndrome

be counselled before doing them, and consider what they will do in the event of a positive screen,” says Durban fetal specialist Dr Ismail Bhorat. “Every pregnant woman is at risk of genetic mutation irrespective of age – if age alone is used as a screening test, the detection rate for Down’s syndrome is only 30 percent.”

Although substantial research is being done in the area of DS, it is not yet treatable, he says, and a termination will be offered. For those patients who don’t want to terminate, “knowing the diagnosis will give them time to prepare for the outcome,” he says. “All children who have Down’s syndrome are mentally challenged, though severity varies, and all will require special-needs care.”

Caroline Willis, who heads Down Syndrome South Africa (DSSA) KZN branch, and has a daughter of 18 with DS, agrees. “Our organisation is neither for nor against termination,” she says. “Every parent needs to be equipped to make an informed decision for themselves, because it’s one they must live with for the rest of their lives.”

better on the big screen?

Bhorat advocates that two main risk assessments be routinely performed in pregnancy, both non-invasive.

First is an 11- to 14-week screen using a combination of nuchal translucency scan and nasal bone determination (both Down’s syndrome markers, see “testing the tests”), with a first trimester maternal blood test for beta human chorionic gonadotropin (BHCG) and papp-a (placental hormones), indicators for DS, Edward’s and Patau syndromes. “This will give you an accuracy of 90 percent for a five percent false positive rate – an exceptionally high accuracy rate for a non-invasive test,” he says. Benoni magazine joburg

gynaecologist Dr Mogi Lingham adds that as well as checking for chromosome abnormalities, the 11- to 14-week screen “also provides the most pertinent maternal and fetal risk assessment”, and allows for the identification of pregnant women at high medical risk. “It provides the possibility to detect adverse pregnancy outcomes, including intrauterine growth retardation, pre-eclampsia, stillbirth and pre-term delivery. These early diagnoses can help doctors to counsel patients and manage potential adverse outcomes.”

The second main assessment is an 18- to 20-week congenital anomaly screen, a physical screen of the various organ systems combined with a genetic sonogram, which is a soft marker screen for chromosomal anomalies. The scan and the first trimester screen can be combined for a Down’s syndrome detection rate of around 95 percent, says Bhorat.

If a patient misses the 11- to 14-week screen, he says, the triple blood test for alpha-fetoprotein (AFP), unconjugated estriol (uE3) and BHCG is used with an accuracy rate of 60 to 65 percent (see “testing the tests”). “This is the most commonly used screening test, but the 11- to 14-week screen is far superior.”

Only if results indicate a high risk of abnormality (greater than one in 300), are invasive procedures recommended to confirm diagnosis – chorionic villus sampling (CVS) or amniocentesis.

Some fetal units also offer a noninvasive option. If a patient presents with a high-risk Down’s screen and doesn’t want invasive testing, a genetic sonogram is performed at 18 to 20 weeks looking for markers for DS, says Bhorat. The main ones are nuchal fold (see under “testing the test”), nasal bone, echogenic intracardiac focus (a bright spot seen October 2011

33

health

All prospective parents need to know what tests they are going for, be counselled before doing them, and consider what they will do in the event of a positive screen. in the baby’s heart indicating greater density), dilated kidneys, hyperechogenic bowel (a bright spot seen in the bowel), and short humerus and short femur (upper arm and leg bones).

“As you can see, there are many options,” he concludes, “and the well-informed patient will choose what suits her.”

testing the tests ultrasound what is it? Sound waves show an image that is used to establish the age and number of fetuses, and their size, position and possible abnormalities, such as spina bifida. when’s it done? All pregnant women are generally offered a dating scan in the first eight weeks, and a congenital anomaly scan around 18 to 20 weeks. Some are also offered a nuchal translucency (NT) scan around 11 to 14 weeks. This assesses the amount of fluid behind the neck of the fetus, an indicator of Down’s syndrome. how safe is it? There’s no hard evidence of scans affecting a baby. how accurate is it? About 90 percent for DS, says Bhorat. alpha-fetoprotein (AFP) screening or triple blood screening what is it? A sample of your blood is taken to test for levels of AFP, a protein produced and excreted by the

Lilly’s Place

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October 2011

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fetus. A baby with an open spine (spina bifida) will excrete more, one with DS will excrete less. The newer triple screen tests for AFP plus two hormones, unconjugated estriol (uE3) and BHCG, are also markers for abnormalities. when’s it done? 16 to 19 weeks how safe is it? Completely how accurate is it? 60 percent for a five percent false positive rate, if the high-risk cutoff is set at one in 300, says Bhorat. “That is, if our patient population is 100 000 and the incidence of DS across the board is one in 1 000 (actually the incidence in the general population is one in 800), then this test will pick up 60 babies with it while some 5 000 women will test falsely positive – meaning healthy babies will be falsely determined to have an abnormality. The false positive readings can result from miscalculated birth dates, carrying multiple fetuses and other benign factors. chorionic villus sampling (CVS) what is it? A needle is inserted through the wall of your uterus or through your vagina and cervix, and a tissue sample taken from the placenta to test for DS and other disorders (though not spina bifida). when’s it done? 11 to 13 weeks (first trimester) how safe is it? There’s a less than two percent risk of miscarriage. Limb reduction defects have been reported, says Bhorat, but only if the test is done before 11 weeks. He

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puts risk of complications at under one percent if done in an experienced unit. how accurate is it? 99,9 percent amniocentesis what is it? An ultrasound scan shows how your baby lies, and a needle is inserted through your abdominal wall and draws fluid from the amniotic sac. It tests for DS, spina bifida and other fetal problems such as cystic fibrosis and muscular dystrophy. It can establish the sex of your baby; important if you carry a sex-linked genetic disorder. when’s it done? 15 to 20 weeks; results can take two to four weeks by which time you may be mid-pregnancy. how safe is it? A recent study gives risk of miscarriage as less than two percent. Dr Bhorat puts risk of complications at 0,5 percent if performed in an experienced unit. how accurate is it? 99,9 percent cordocentesis what is it? Fetal blood is taken by inserting a needle through your abdominal wall into the umbilical vein, a highly specialised procedure. It can detect DS, infection with diseases such as rubella and toxoplasmosis, and anaemia. when’s it done? After 18 weeks (second trimester) how safe is it? Risk of miscarriage is under two percent how accurate is it? 99,9 percent

questions to consider Depending on where you go, some tests are offered routinely to all pregnant women or those at high risk of genetic problems such as Down’s syndrome and spina bifida, but all tests can be requested. Before deciding on any test, ask yourself and your doctor: • How reliable is it?

• How risky is it?

• Why am I having it?

• If a problem is detected, would it change what I plan to do? (Else, why have it?)

• Would I terminate or prepare for raising a special-needs baby? Think through what both options would entail. Speak to your doctor and to support groups such as DSSA on 0861 369 672, dssaoffice@icon.co.za or visit downsyndrome.org.za.

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getaway

the simple life NADINE TEDDER and her family packed one bag each and set sail for a four-month cruise in Madagascan waters. In these emails home, she describes what it’s like to “live the dream”.

June 2010

36

October 2011

Pioneer, our home anchored at Vezo Island Bruce, Nadine, Tristen and Tadzio at “Nim’s Island” beach camp at sunset

We give soccer balls to local children

The children sailing with a friend in a pirogue

PHOTOGRAPHS: Nadine tedder / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

e ean – with pearly-whit adrift in the Indian Oc Ark ’s ah No a – r sca ga n to go ge island of Mada ing the dream”. The pla Ahoy there, from the lar . Yes, here we are “liv sea ue -bl ice s an d an r s nut palm white, with ou friend beaches, swaying coco glass or two of crispy a er ov nt, me mo lb ar-old son hatched in a light bu Tristen and their 10-ye on a cruise was first take our seven-year-old o als uld wo last we ed We decid istics were left to the Blossom and Wojek. nature, most of the log n ma hu is As ay. yw of this kind. ter and brother an eded for an adventure Tadzio, who are like sis preparation that was ne of k tas oth mm ma ated the m Durban a few days minute. We underestim ers who had set sail fro oth the et me to r sca d us, across r way to Madaga to take our baggage, an d Tristy and I winged ou he ac att rt ca a h wit cow) ge s a zebu (Madagascan Safari Vezo beach lod earlier. Waiting for us wa was to transfer us to ich wh t, oa db ee sp h to our awaiting the very low-tide beac we aughter quality time as at Anakao. red special mommy-d sha I d an ty Tris l. iva ”, anchored off the yacht’s arr board our new “home Here we were to await en. Soon we were on ildr ch al loc the h wit d played soaked up the sun an rgeous snorkel. seafood: over the side for a go fting past, selling their Vezo Island, flopping -catching pirogues wa eye the at l nt. rve ma e We gun! wns for the sam amou The simple life has be six and 2kgs of big pra d fee to gh ou en is t with the ht Dorado fish tha boat, usually at sunset R20 for a freshly caug ens off the stern of the pp ha It d. she se eri ch be n ch to g into the ocea to rin Our bath routine is mu bodies, before jumpin d me ea -cr sun r ou lesson for the ckdrop. We scrub ly. It has been a great fiery red ball as the ba , but we use it sparing ard bo on ji ker ma ter tion wa balls, Tristen and Tad off. We have a desalina ool to donate soccer sch al loc the it vis we community. nserve water. When good about helping the children on how to co d facilities. We all feel ite lim d an ms oo ssr artan cla are amazed at their Sp day. , far outweigh on board, briefly, each ne ling in a foreign country vel Our schoolwork is do tra of art the d an , ng g the children are learni route, at Nosy (meanin Frankly, the life skills our way up north. En ng rki wo wly slo are h four children, ademic work. We repid French family wit int the importance of ac an h wit up et me d an me humpback whales island) Hao, we spot so ote island. rem t en times we ge on this magnific lod a ng ildi their country and at all bu are o wh It’s a pleasure to be in ly. nd frie d an e ntl ge tting our plo le are navigation, The Madagascan peop ally try their hand at stic sia thu en en ildr ch private tropical overnight sail, the their own “base” on a ild feel safe. On our first bu o als ey Th e. urs co d and steering a compass fronds, wood, shells an position on the chart the children use palm ts, hu ir the t ruc nst co ys, as we drop the local fishermen n flows for a full two da tio island. After watching ina ag im eir Th le. ger sca nd. the structures on a lar a scene from Nim’s Isla fishing line to replicate sunset. It really is like at m the t llec co d an d technology at in the morning ildren have not misse ch them off on their island e Th .

Be sy No of not Island just off the coast from shells, they have Home is now Sakatia les and other objects ng ba , rks ma ok bo es, to create necklac all. With plenty of time nute. been bored for one mi nders” e Loads of love, “th isla

Jonty Wright and DJ, a French friend, jumping off the bow at Sakatia Island

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August 2010

Tristen on her surfboard

Michaela Wright and Tristy on the bow A local Malagasy girl embroidering

Ahoy there. It is the beginn ing of August wrenching go and we have odbye to our had to say a sh very tearful, he ip m at es Blossom, have a very un artWojtek and Ta ique friendshi dj i. p A s mentioned, an d life on boar We needed to we d together fo get into a be r so long was tter routine w just fabulous had largely be ith Tr is . ten’s schoolw en neglected ork once they for the last fe ha d with Tadji on le w ft. It weeks, as th board. The da ere was just ys have evolve too much ac generally hang d tion in to quality time th ing out. Bruce at is spent re does the scho ad in navigation an g, creating, lear olwork with he d knots. ning and r twice a wee k, and part of We visit seve their curriculum ral reserves, in is cluding Nosy a graceful turt Tanikely Marin le. At Lokobe e R es er ve, where I ge Nature Reser creepy to see t to glide unde ve we do a ju a Madagasca ngle walk and rwater with r tr spot a noctur ee boa curled ar of course ther nal spor tive le ound a branch e are the cham mur. It is that we are ab eleons and gr out to walk un bananas, muc een lizards. B de h to Tristen’s r, an la d then ck lemurs jump delight. Our fri out at us and letters, magaz ends, the Wrig w e ines and post hts, have com feed them from home. A e to visit and rushing to sign fter all, there we are thrilled is not one En off now as th to receive glish publicat ey are flying ho ion here of an We plan to he me tomorrow y sort. I am ad north to a . new area, the Look forward Mitsio Archipel to seeing you ago, and we w all when we ge ill keep you po Loads of love t home. sted.

Deenie, Bruce and Tristy

September 2010

When we return to Nosy Sakatia, we find many more boats anchored there. Tristy befriends Millie from Australia, Zoe and Arthur from France, and Nadine and Devon from Durban. They meet up on the beach or paddle over to each other’s boats once the schoolwork is completed for the day. The pressure is on for Tristy to finish the term’s curriculum and the Madagascan project she has embarked on. It’s not so easy to apply oneself when turtles are popping up to gasp some air alongside you and pleasure boats are whizzing past at high speeds. We then up anchor again to

Tristen and Bruce at Tsarabajina

visit the Mitsio group of islands. Nosy Ankarea thrills us with its pristine beaches smothered in shells.

Snorkelling the turquoise waters of Nosy Tsarabajina is unforgettable.

And so, with our time in Madagascar marching on, we have to face the fact that our “dream” is coming to an end. It makes me emotional to think that this simple, uncluttered life will soon be over.

On our last day we awake to stunning weather, windless conditions and clear water. We soak

up every bit of water sports activity and fun we can handle and, of course, sneak in a final snorkel with a fabulous lionfish and giant manta ray sighting. We finish off our adventure with a candlelit dinner in the cockpit.

I have a huge lump in my throat as we wave goodbye to the Pioneer; she has given us a truly good time. Reality hits when we are pulled aside at the airport – our visas have expired. We play dumb and after much Malagasy mumbling, we are stamped out. Phew, a close call.

At the same time, we are excited to be heading back to our beautiful home and our muchloved cats. It feels good to have accomplished our mission, most of all it has gone smoothly and without a hitch. The last time Bruce and I had lived the life on boats was 1994. Now that we have a child, the emphasis is so different, with worries about safety at sea and staying healthy. But the quality family time we have enjoyed was more than anyone could wish for. Tristy fast became a

natural sailor and an enthusiastic crew member. Schoolwork was a breeze; she did the term’s curriculum with ease and learnt so much in every other way.

All in all it was a huge success, which will hopefully be repeated. Next time, it will be a oneyear round-the-world trip.

We sleep soundly on our first night home, even though we miss the water lapping on the hull.

And it is weird to open up the fresh water tap, liberally run a deep, hot bath and flush a toilet with a quick push of a handle.

Bonne nuit, thank you Madagascar for your awesome country and wonderful people. We will be back.

Loads of love, the newly arrived landlubbers

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Schoolwork on board

Tristy arriving at Nosy Tsarabajina

quick facts • M adagascar lies off the southeast coast of Africa, and is the fourth largest island in the world.

• It is home to five percent of the world’s plant and animal life.

• Cyclone season is from January to March.

• The official languages are Malagasy, French and English.

• There has been political unrest since 2009, so visitors are urged to be cautious.

• South Africans need a visa to visit.

October 2011

37

resource

dealing with difference – your A-Z guide A directory of conditions and disorders, and where to find

ADHD Children experience difficulties in certain behaviour, including inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.

Contact Adhasa Stuart Wilson: 011 888 7655, info@adhasa.co.za or visit adhdsupport.co.za Angelman syndrome This genetic disorder causes a variety of neurological problems, including delays in development, speech problems, jerky or trembling movements, seizures and trouble with balance.

Contact Shawn or Alida: 039 737 4613 or phiz@mweb.co.za Angelkids (Angelman Syndrome Families in South Africa) Ronel: 082 727 9558, angels1@vodamail.co.za or visit angelkids.webs.com Apert Syndrome Children born with this congenital disorder usually have a malformed skull and face, hands and feet.

Contact Cranio Kids (All Craniosynostosis

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disorders) Robyn Rondi: 082 601 8585, robyn.rondi@hotmail.com or visit craniokids.co.za Online community forum apert.org Apert Support Group and Children’s Craniofacial Groups on Facebook Apraxia This disorder affects the ability of children to communicate and control fine and gross motor movements.

Contact Apraxia-kids Association visit apraxia-kids.org Asperger’s syndrome This condition falls into the autism spectrum and affects children’s ability to socialise and communicate.

Contact Asperger’s Support Lauren Schrempel: 012 993 4628, 083 309 8654 or laurenschrempel@yahoo.com Auditory Processing Disorder Children have difficulty processing the sounds they hear, rather than with their hearing.

Contact I Can Development Centre Ilse Carr: 082 338 4680 or visit ican-sa.co.za

Autism A developmental disorder that affects the brain’s development of social and communication skills.

Contact Autism South Africa 011 484 9909, info@autismsouthafrica.org or visit autismsouthafrica.org Association for Autism 012 993 4628 or afautism@iafrica.com Ernie Els Autism Foundation Kerri: 011 484 7254 or kerri-lyn.kelly@ ernieels.com Bipolar disorder Children experience moods, feelings, thoughts and behaviour that range from extreme highs to extreme lows.

Contact Johannesburg Bipolar Support Association Linda Trump: 011 485 2406 Central Auditory Processing Disorder See Auditory Processing Disorder

Cerebral Palsy This is an umbrella term that refers to conditions where the brain has been injured, affecting the child’s movement, motor control, muscle control, perception and communication.

Contact Cerebral Palsy Association 011 683 3390 or visit cerebralpalsybaby. blogspot.com, galliringo.blogspot.com or cpblogs.org.au/heydad Cleft lip and palate This occurs when the lip and/or palate don’t join together before birth, leaving a gap.

Contact Cleft Friends Helena: 082 393 1206, 079 527 1504, helena@cleftfriends. co.za or visit cleftfriends.co.za Cleft Pals 011 788 9759 Congenital heart defects These are structural defects present in the heart at birth.

Children may exhibit poor development or growth, a heart murmur, shortness of breath or respiratory infections.

Contact Walter Sisulu Paediatric Cardiac

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

help and support. Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT.

Foundation Lynda Bleazard: 011 257 2017 or visit wspcca.org.za Cornelia de Lange disorder A genetic disorder that affects physical and intellectual development. Children may experience heart problems, speech delay, mental problems and behaviour problems.

Contact CdLS-Kids Yahoo group online support or visit cdlusa.org Cystic Fibrosis Children with this condition develop a build-up of thick, sticky mucous in their lungs, digestive tract and other parts of the body, causing breathing problems, lung infections, poor growth, infertility and other problems.

Contact The Cystic Fibrosis Association support group Alan Dunn: 011 294 3849 Dandy-Walker syndrome This congenital disorder causes a brain malformation. Symptoms may include slow development of motor skills, enlargement of the skull, particularly at the back, as well as increased intracranial pressure.

Contact Dandy Walker Syndrome Support Group on Facebook or visit dandy-walker.org Deafness/hearing loss Hearing loss occurs when a part or parts of the ear do not function properly.

Contact Deaf Federation of South Africa 011 482 1610 Hi Hopes Claudine Storbeck or Selvarani

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Moodley: 011 717 3750, claudine.storbeck@ gmail.com or selvarani.moodley@wits.ac.za Developmental delays This is when a child is consistently late in reaching developmental milestones, including language, fine and gross motor skills, cognitive ability and social skills.

Contact I Can Development Centre Ilse Carr: 082 338 4680 or visit ican-sa.co.za SpiritedKidz Adi de Hoop: info@spiritedkidz. za.org or visit spiritedkidz.za.org Down’s syndrome This condition occurs when children are born with an extra chromosome, causing differences in how their bodies develop and giving them a distinctive appearance.

Contact Down Syndrome SA 0861 369 672, 011 484 8890 or visit downsyndrome.org.za Down Syndrome Association 011 484 6116 Dwarfism Dwarfism refers to people who are short in stature as a result of any number of medical conditions.

Contact Little People of South Africa 072 077 2318 Raising Leah (online support group), Charmaine: 072 374 6233 or visit raisingleah.wordpress.com Dysfunction of Sensory Integration (Sensory Integration Dysfunction) This is the inability of the brain to organise sensory information as it comes through from the senses. It can impact on a child’s ability to function and learn.

Contact South African Institute of Sensory Integration Aletta Kietzmann: 012 362 5457 (Tuesday and Thursday), saisi@uitweb.co.za or visit instsi.co.za Ehlers-Danlos syndrome Children who suffer from this condition have a defect in the collagen of their connective tissue, resulting in joints that are loose or unstable, skin that is fragile and can bruise or tear easily, muscle or joint pain, poor muscle tone and other problems.

Contact Ehlers-Danlos Parental Support Group Facebook page or visit ednf.org Epilepsy A neurological disorder that causes a person to have seizures or fits as a result of unusual electrical energy in the brain.

Contact Epilepsy SA 0860 374 537 (national office), Magdalena Kruger: 011 816 2040 or visit epilepsy.org.za Foetal Alcohol syndrome This condition occurs when mental and physical defects develop as a result of alcohol crossing the placenta.

Contact Sanca (national office) 011 781 6410, 011 726 4210 or visit sanca-jhb.org.za Fragile X syndrome This genetic disorder is a result of changes in the X chromosome and causes mental retardation. As boys only have one X chromosome, it tends to affect them more severely.

Contact Fragile X (only if your doctor can’t recommend anyone) Luisa Potenza: 011 624 0655, 076 514 3553 or visit lula@icon.co.za Guillain-Barre syndrome A rare disorder that affects the peripheral nervous system, which controls muscle movement and communicates sensory information to the brain. Complications may arise when the breathing muscles are affected.

However, this disorder and its symptoms are usually temporary.

Contact Guillain-Barre Syndrome Support Phyllis Fourie: 084 944 4488, phyllis@aurorahospital.co.za or visit guillainbarresindroom.co.za Hypotonia This describes a state of low muscle tone (different to muscle weakness) and can be caused by a variety of other disorders.

Symptoms include floppiness in babies, delays in reaching developmental milestones, and difficulty in feeding or breathing.

Contact Hypotonia Facebook page Jacobsen syndrome A rare congenital disorder caused by loss of genetic material. Children with this condition usually display distinctive facial features, such as wide set eyes and low set small ears.

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resource

Contact Jacobsen syndrome Awareness visit jacobsenssyndromeawareness.com Juvenile diabetes (Diabetes mellitus type 1) Children with this form of diabetes can’t produce insulin, which is responsible for getting glucose into the cells to create energy. Symptoms can include thirst, hunger, frequent urination, weight loss and feeling tired.

Contact Diabetes South Africa 011 886 3765, national@diabetessa.co.za or visit diabetessa.co.za Dia Bear Club diabear1@absamail.co.za or visit diabear.co.za SweetkidsSA Yahoo group Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis This autoimmune condition is characterised by joint pain and swelling in children under 16 years. Children may show signs of stiffness or limping, have sore joints, experience a fever or rash and may have eye inflammation.

Contact Arthritis Kids SA Di Crossman: 011 518 7129, 071 888 1682 or dcrossma@ its.jnj.com Arthritis Kids SA Facebook page Kawasaki disease This is an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in blood vessels, affecting the body’s organs as well as the hands, feet, mouth, eyes and throat.

Contact Kawasaki Disease Foundation of South Africa Mark: 031 539 3023, 084 231 3418, marksatiya@yahoo.com Klinefelter syndrome In this disorder, boys are born with an additional X chromosome, so while most males are XY, males with this condition are XXY. Some symptoms include reduced fertility or infertility, irregular testicular function, developed breast tissue and some boys may also develop psychosocial problems.

Contact 47xxy Klinefelters syndrome support Facebook page Krabbe disease A rare degenerative disorder where the myelin sheath that surrounds the nervous system starts to break down and brain cells are destroyed.

This is an inherited disease, and symptoms can include rigidity, fever, and irritability, slowing of the development of motor skills, hearing loss, difficulty eating and blindness.

Contact Krabbe Kids visit krabbes.com Landau-Kleffner syndrome (Acquired epileptic aphasia) Children with this neurological disorder suddenly or gradually lose the ability to understand or express language (aphasia). These symptoms are often accompanied by seizures.

Contact Landau-Kleffner Information and Support Group Facebook page Laryngomalacia This is a common congenital defect where the soft, underdeveloped cartilage of the larynx collapses when the baby inhales. This causes a narrowing of the air passage, which results in a squeaky sound when the baby breathes.

Contact Laryngomalacia Support Group Facebook page

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Mental retardation This occurs in children under 18 years of age, when they have a below average intelligence quotient. Children may present with delays in language and motor development, difficulty in learning social norms, and difficulty in developing memory and problem solving skills.

Contact South African Federation for Mental Health 011 242 9600 Gauteng Mental Health 011 614 6853 Metachromatic leukodystrophy An inherited disorder caused by a deficiency of the enzyme arylsulfatase A, which results in a toxic build-up of sulfatides and damages the nervous system, liver, kidneys and other organs. Symptoms include loss of muscle tone and control, rigidity, delays in development, loss of vision, decreased mental ability, seizures and paralysis.

Contact Families and their children with Leukodystrophy Facebook page Missing limbs This occurs when a child is born without a limb, or loses a limb due to trauma or for medical reasons.

Contact Association for the Physically Disabled 011 646 8331 or visit apdjhb.co.za Muscular dystrophy This group of hereditary disorders affects the muscles of the body, causing them to lose tissue and get weaker over time. There are many different forms, so symptoms will differ.

Contact The Muscular Dystrophy Foundation of South Africa 011 472 9703, 011 472 9824, gauteng@mdsa.org. za or visit mdsa.org.za Neurofibromatosis In this genetic condition, non-cancerous tumours grow from the nerve tissue, affecting the spinal cord, brain, skin and other parts of the body. A defining sign is café-au-lait coloured spots on the body, while other symptoms can include seizures, blindness, freckling in the underarm or groin area, tumours on or under the skin and pain from affected nerves.

Contact South African Neurofibromatosis Association 011 716 4071 Neurofibromatosis Support Facebook page Obesity Someone is considered obese when their body fat has become excessive and will impact on their health, often reducing their lifespan.

Contact Overeaters Anonymous 011 640 2901 or visit oa.org Paediatric Primary Immune Deficiency A congenital disorder where children are born with cell defects which prevent the immune system from functioning properly, impacting on the body’s ability to prevent infection.

Contact Pinsa (Primary Immunodeficiency Network of South Africa) Mariana du Toit (secretary): 082 365 4663, pinsahelp@ mweb.co.za or visit pinsa.org.za Pierre Robin syndrome This congenital condition causes babies to be born with malformed facial features, including a smaller lower jaw, a tongue that falls back magazine joburg

into the throat and often a cleft soft palate.

They are likely to experience breathing and feeding difficulties, and ear infections.

Contact Pierre Robin Foundation Leigh Parkes: 082 410 3197, info@pierrerobin. org.za or visit pierrerobin.org.za Pierre Robin Sequence Foundation Facebook page Prader-Willi syndrome A genetic congenital condition that causes decreased muscle tone, a continuous feeling of hunger and underdeveloped genitals.

Contact Prader-Willi Syndrome Association of South Africa Rika Du Plooy: 021 344 0241, chairperson@ praderwilli.org.za or visit praderwilli.org.za Primary Immune Deficiency Disorder See Paediatric Primary Immune Deficiency Rett syndrome This is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects girls more frequently than boys. It presents with a decrease in the rate of development and growth, as well as the loss of purposeful hand movements, verbal skills, balance and coordination.

Contact Sandy du Plessis via the online forum: visit rettsyndromesouthafrica.com Reye’s syndrome A rare disease affecting the organs of the body, most specifically the liver and brain, and most commonly occurring after a viral infection.

Contact Reye’s Syndrome Awareness Facebook page Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome This genetic disorder is characterised by distinctive facial features, broad thumbs and toes, short stature and degrees of learning disabilities.

Contact RTS South Africa Jacqui Tooke: 084 666 9566, rts.southafrica@gmail.com or visit rts-southafrica.weebly.com or matthewtooke.blogspot.com Rubinstein-Taybi visit rubinstein-taybi.org Sjogren’s syndrome This autoimmune disorder causes the body to attack the cells that produce tears and saliva, with the main symptoms being dry mouth and dry eyes, although other parts of the body that need moisture may also be affected, including the skin, nose, joints, lungs and brain.

Contact Sjogren’s World online support group visit sjsworld.org Spina Bifida A congenital condition in which the spinal cord and backbone do not fuse, leaving an opening in the spine. Some other problems that could be experienced include poor bladder control, weakness in the feet and legs, or paralysis in the legs.

Contact Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus Louise Muller: 011 680 1068 Tourette syndrome TS is a neurological condition where people experience repetitive, involuntary movements and vocal sounds called tics. In severe cases the tics may result in the person hurting himself, uttering swear words or repeating the phrases of others.

Contact Dystonia Association of South Africa (Movement disorders) Karin Willemse: 011 326 2112 or karin.pasa@tiscali. co.za magazine joburg

Tourette Syndrome support group 011 326 2112 or 082 357 6586 Turner syndrome This condition affects girls, and occurs when a female is missing part or all of the second X chromosome in some or all of her cells. Symptoms include small stature, puffy hands or feet, webbing at the neck and heart defects.

Girls may also have problems with fertility and hearing.

Contact The Turner Syndrome Group of South Africa Jo-Anne Richards: 082 453 2591, josierichards@gmail.com or visit saida.org.za Visual impairments – blindness Low vision, legally blind and blindness are degrees of visual impairment, and may be congenital or the effect of various disorders or injury to the eyes.

Contact Association for Visually Impaired Children support group 011 613 3589 Johannesburg Society for the Blind 011 613 8241 Waardenburg syndrome An inherited genetic disorder that may cause children to experience hearing loss and changes in the pigmentation of their hair and eyes.

Contact Cranio Kids Robyn Rondi: 082 601 8585, robyn.rondi@hotmail.com or visit craniokids.co.za Williams syndrome This congenital disorder typically causes an elfin appearance in children, as well as heart defects and mental disability.

Contact Williams Syndrome Support Group in South Africa 084 574 2926, Tanya Holtzhausen: 082 778 8429, williamsyndromesa@gmail.com or visit williams-syndrome.co.za

general support Autoimmune Illness Support Forum Facebook page South African Inherited Disorders Association 011 489 9213 or visit saida.org.za Special Needs Support Group Facebook page Whizz Kidz Special Needs Centre Disabilities include autism spectrum disorders, learning disabilities, Apraxia, Rett syndrome, and Down’s syndrome Deborah King: 031 701 1490, whizzkidzsnc@mweb.co.za or visit whizz-kidz.co.za

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books

a good read for toddlers

for preschoolers Educat kit

By Colleen Fernandes

Quick, Slow, Mango!

By Anik McGrory (Bloomsbury Publishing, R85) Baby elephant Kidogo is off with his mom to find breakfast. She’s always telling him to hurry, but Kidogo loves to take his time and wants to do everything slowly. Meanwhile, up in the trees, a mischievous monkey named PolePole is always in a rush, trying to grab all the mangoes he can. Fast and slow, these two adorable critters meet up in the luckiest way – and it’s mangoes for breakfast for everyone. This is a charming story, with stunning illustrations, about taking one’s sweet time. McGrory is also the illustrator and author of Desmond and the Naughtybugs and Animals Asleep.

The Animal Bop Won’t Stop

By Jan Ormerod and Lindsey Gardiner (Oxford University Press, R118) “The animal bop just won’t stop so move your body from bottom to top!” Join jolly jellyfish, mischievous meerkats, a gentle giraffe, parading peacocks and more in this invitation to take part in the animal bop.

The rhythmic, rhyming text encourages all sorts of actions and noises that are lots of fun – prowling and growling, wiggling and sashaying, trotting and strutting. Lindsey Gardiner beautifully illustrates every move with a kaleidoscope of patterns and collage.

This is the perfect read for children aged two and older.

(Educat Publishers, cost varies) Educat Publishers offers products with eyecatching illustrations that promise hours of fun.

The creative and stimulating educational tools are designed to inspire and capture children’s imaginations. These include reader and activity books, activity worksheets for children from the age of three, guide books for parents, notebooks, flashcards with memory recall activities, flip charts, sing-along CDs, display stands, books, posters, magnets and more. They also have items, such as activity aprons, which help with fine motor skills development. Visit educat.co.za for a full list of their products.

Flip, Flippie and Friends series

By Charlotte Ewins and Riaan Retief (CopyCat Communications, R29,95 each) Flip, Flippie and Friends is a series of earlylearning children’s books that will delight, entertain and educate. Flip, the mother or teacher figure, takes Flippie, the child kangaroo, and his friends through entertaining twists and turns as they learn about numbers, the A-B-C and shapes and colours. The series has been designed to enchant children with fun stories. Learning is part-and-parcel of the experience. As we know, children learn through enthusiastic repetition and participation. Visit flipflippieandfriends.co.za for product information.

for early graders Twins and Mom Why am I Different?

By Matina Genkova-Mpofu (Queen Protea Press, R65) These delightful and informative books explore what it means to be or know twins, why some of us look the way we do and why we are all special, even if we do look different from others. The importance of self-acceptance and appreciation of individuality shines through in both books. The author, who was born in Bulgaria but now lives in South Africa with her husband, was inspired to start writing children’s books by her son, Obi. Both books can be ordered directly from the publisher. Visit queenproteapress.blogspot.com for contact details.

Abby’s Aquarium Adventures – Predators

By Heidi de Maine and Keli Hazelton

award winne r The Little 5 – Stories from Africa

By Janina Pechová

ehom n grow t hi

(Creda Communications, R95) Join Abby on her adventures in the aquarium world and you’ll soon discover that sharks aren’t the only predators in the sea. You will find out more about some other sneaky, cute, beautiful and even strange-looking predators. It’s an amazing world down below where scuba divers love to go. This is the second book of a series that looks at marine life, animal careers, life in the aquarium and conservation. Book one in the Abby’s Aquarium Adventures series was listed as one of the Argus Top 10 Best SA Children’s Books for 2010. For more info on the series, visit abby.co.za

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(Little Foot Publishers, R108) Follow the adventures of a shrew, a tortoise, a beetle, a bird and an ant, which all live on the slopes of the Magaliesberg Mountain range. They lose at competitions but outsmart thieves, dogs and even the villainous and treacherous goblins, known as “Trixies”, to achieve their dream.

The author/illustrator’s artwork is simply outstanding and the imaginative story line takes young children into a whimsical world of small creatures. The stories are not just entertainment, as Pechová uses this medium to teach children about conservation and social issues. For more info on the book and to order, visit thelittle5.com

FArTHER

By Grahame Baker-Smith (Templar Publishing, R114) When a father who dreams of flying goes off to war and does not return, his son decides to make the dream come true. Grahame BakerSmith’s moving story, with stunning illustrations, shows how, with love and a bit of ambition, you can reach seemingly impossible goals.

It’s filled with magical imagery and is a powerful read that conveys dark emotions, storms of war and weather, and a powerful sense of loss and bereavement. This clever picture book with a dream-like quality was also the winner of the 2011 CILIP Kate Greenaway award.

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books

for preteens and teens Shimmer

By Alyson Noël (Macmillan Children’s Books, R74) The number one New York Times bestselling author of The Immortals continues her new middle-grade series about Ever’s younger sister, Riley. Having solved the matter of the Radiant Boy, Riley, Buttercup, and Bodhi are enjoying a well-deserved vacation. When Riley comes across a young ghost named Rebecca, Riley soon learns that she is not at all what she seems. As the daughter of a former plantation owner, she is furious about being murdered during a slave revolt in 1733. Mired in her own anger, Rebecca is keeping the ghosts who died along with her trapped in their worst memories. Can Riley help Rebecca without losing herself to her own nightmarish memories?

The Unknown Spy

By Eoin McNamee (Quercus, R93) In book two in the Ring of Five trilogy, Wilsons Spy Academy has called back their most brilliant trainee spy: Danny Caulfield. Danny is to be sent on an urgent mission to find the treaty stone that protects the Upper World before the Ring of Five, leaders of the Cherbs, destroy it and wage war. Danny and his friend Dixie, a spy who can appear and disappear at will, must set off to the Kingdom of Morne to save the stone. Boys from the age of 10 will love this trilogy.

for us

What to Cook & How to Cook it

By Jane Hornby (Phaidon Press, R369) This is the ultimate step-by-step cookbook for anyone who wants to make their favourite meal to perfection.

The carefully explained recipes are simple to follow and perfect for beginners. Clear colour photographs showing you what to buy accompany every recipe and illustrations guide you through each step. From breakfast pancakes to roast chicken, from a quick pad Thai to a classic lemon tart, this book takes 100 tried-and-tested dishes back to basics and shows how simple it can be to cook good food.

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The Metabolism Miracle

By Diane Kress (Da Capo Lifelong Books, R120) Do you notice weight gain around your middle that won’t budge or do friends and co-workers eat more than you, but weigh less? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be one of the millions who have Metabolism B, an inherited, hormonal imbalance that causes your body to over-process carbohydrate foods into excess body fat. As someone who personally struggled with Metabolism B, registered dietician Diane Kress knows first-hand the frustration of diets that won’t work. Her New York Times bestselling book has helped thousands of people lose weight for good.

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parenting books The New Baby & Child Care Handbook

By Marina Petropulos (Marina Petropulos, R264) The author’s childcare guidance is known and trusted all over the world and parents inevitably refer to her Baby & Child Care Handbook as their “baby bible”. This updated guide deals with many of the issues parents encounter, providing clear and medically sound explanations and answers. Besides the basic childcare needs of feeding, sleeping, toilet training and discipline, there is information about many new behavioural, emotional, social and psychiatric issues, and descriptions of conditions and infections that were previously uncommon. Marina has been interacting with parents on her radio programmes and columns for more than 30 years, answering parents’ questions and giving advice.

Disconnected Kids

By Dr Robert Melillo (Penguin Books, R160) This book introduces you to a ground-breaking new homebased programme to treat autism, ADHD, dyslexia and other disorders. Based on years of scientific research and used to treat approximately 1 000 children, Dr Robert Melillo’s Brain Balance Programme addresses not only the symptoms of what’s affecting our children, but also the cause. He presents an individualised programme that allows parents to assess, address and even correct their child’s neurological disconnects with simple physical, sensory and academic exercises. This book offers a visionary new approach to helping many children with brain-related problems.

Ghost Boy

By Martin Pistorius (Jonathan Ball Publishers, R140) In January 1988, Martin Pistorius, aged 12, fell inexplicably sick. Within 18 months, he was mute and wheelchair-bound. Doctors were mystified and Martin’s parents were told that an unknown degenerative disease had left their son with the mind of a baby. But, unbeknown to anyone, Martin’s mind began to wake up, rendering him a prisoner inside his completely unresponsive body. Ten years later, an aromatherapist senses that some part of Martin is alert and his parents realise that their son’s intelligence has not been affected. This is a deeply moving, extraordinary account of recovery and the power of love.

Mending a Broken Heart

By Nadine Raal (Jacana, R180) You carry your baby for nine months, give birth and then you get to bring your healthy baby home. This is how it should be, but for Nadine Raal and her husband, Stewart, the birth of their son is the start of a heart-wrenching medical journey. Zack was born with life-threatening congenital heart defects, and he had to undergo openheart surgery that was the first of many hospitalisations and treatments. Nadine shares her family’s experience of Zack’s condition, and the challenges it poses, in an honest and vivid way that, despite its seriousness, offers an inspiring message for all parents: cherish each moment of your child’s life. Written with warmth and humour, this is a must-read for any parent.

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calendar

what’s on in october

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s a selection of great outings to keep the whole family busy

15

FUN FOR CHILDREN – p51

ONLY FOR PARENTS – p57

It’s summer – teach your child about water safety.

Riverdance Be entranced by Irish music and dance.

bump, baby & tot in tow– p61

how to help – p62

Toddler Sense seminar Talks on feeding, potty training and more.

Santa Shoebox project Bring joy to an underprivileged child.

sat

SPECIAL EVENTS – p48 Festival of Light Transport yourself to India and enjoy an array of Diwali festivities.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: TM Photography & Ganesha Communications / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

this month. Compiled by MARINA ZIETSMAN.

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October 2011

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calendar

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 saturday Berario Bear Fair See a variety of bears of all shapes and sizes on display. Search for collectable items, buy memorabilia and eats and enjoy a family fun day.

Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Honeydew Bears, 27 Boerneef St, Helderkruin. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 764 4317 or visit honeydewbears.co.za Meet the Smurfs Meet three of the movie’s much-loved characters during their visit to Menlyn Park Shopping Centre and take part in activities such as blue face painting and Smurf PlayStation games. Also 2 October. For more info: visit menlynpark.co.za Northgate Baby Competition The mall is looking for cute little people from 0–4 years old. Bring your child and stand a chance to win prizes. Time: 9am. Venue: Northgate Mall, Northumberland Ave, Roodepoort.

Cost: free entry. Contact Jessica: 083 697 2760 or visit northgate.co.za

1 October – Roedean Garden and Craft Market

Roedean Garden and Craft Market The day offers many craft stalls, fun activities for children, a tea garden, champagne and salmon bar, and rugby on the big screen.

Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Roedean School, Princess of Wales Terrace, Parktown. Cost: R20 entry. For more info: visit roedean.co.za Thinking Pets Family Fun Day Enjoy a day of surprise events, browse the interesting stalls and get lucky when you enter the competitions. Dogs on leads and horses are also welcome. All proceeds go towards animal shelters such as Claw and Barking Mad. Time: 9:30am–4pm.

Venue: Waterhaven Country Estate, off the M26, Gerardsville. Cost: adults R20 entry, children under 7 R10; extra children under 7 free. Also bring along a shoe box of goodies for a cat or dog. Contact: 082 049 9209 or visit thinkingpets.com Untangled Marionettes perform “The Clowns” A variety programme performed with string puppets, described as a cross between a circus and a ballet. Also 8 October. Time: 3pm. Venue: Westcliff.

Cost: R60, booking essential. Contact Alida: 082 446 4324 or untangledmarionettes@ vodamail.co.za

5 wednesday Avis South African Derby Avis has joined forces once again with the Gauteng Horse Society to bring you one of the most prestigious equestrian events of the year.

Enjoy the Mini Derby on Saturday and the Avis Derby on Sunday. For children, there is a playground, pony rides and face

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painting. Ends 9 October. Time: 8am–5pm daily. Venue: Kyalami Equestrian Park, 1 Dahlia Rd, Kyalami. Cost: Wednesday–Friday free, Saturday adults R80, children R30; Sunday adults R120, children R70. Contact: 011 702 1657 or eventing@ghsinfo.co.za

6 thursday Read for the Record Millions of children in low-income areas are at risk of failure at school before they even start the early grades. This campaign calls for all children to receive the quality early education they deserve. All children attending FasTracKids Sandton can listen to Llama Llama Red Pajama, read by Anne Dewdney, as more than two million voices worldwide call attention to the crisis in early education by creating the largest shared reading experience in history. For children aged 2–5 years and they must wear their pyjamas for story time. Time: 9am. Venue: FasTracKids Sandton, 98 4th St, Parkmore. Cost: free.

Contact: 0861 327 87225

7 friday African Boma Expo A one-of-a-kind outdoor exhibition to increase public awareness conservation. Ends 9 October.

Time: 9am–4pm, daily. Venue: Pretoria National Botanical Garden, 2 Cussonia Ave, Brummeria. Cost: adults R22, students R12, children R8, children under 6 free. Contact: 012 751 4478 or visit africanboma.co.za Auckland Park Preparatory Flower Festival and open day View the school’s facilities and celebrate their 90th birthday with them. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: 59 Twickenham Ave, Auckland Park. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 482 3697 or secretary@apps.co.za

7 October – Look and Feel Good Expo

Look and Feel Good Expo South Africa’s premier health, wellness and lifestyle expo offers various activities and health and beauty goods for parents, while children enjoy the play-and-learn Art of Play Kidz Zone. Ends 9 October. Time: 11am–6pm, Friday; 9am–6pm, Saturday; 9am–5pm, Sunday. Venue: The Coca-Cola Dome, cnr Olievenhout Ave and Northumberland Rd, Northriding. Cost: adults R70, scholars, students and pensioners R40, children under 10 free. Contact: 0861 115 318 or visit ifeelgood.co.za magazine joburg

13 thurs

Photo and Film Expo This expo highlights the excellence in still photography and film production that abounds in South Africa. It showcases the latest hardware, software, technology, lighting, techniques, facilities and courses available in this field. There are free workshops for visitors. Ends 16 October. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: The Coca-Cola Dome, Northgate. Cost: R80, children under 16 R40. Contact Matt: 011 326 2257 or visit photofilmexpo.com

8 saturday

15 saturday

Coldplay live With over 50 million album sales worldwide, six Brit Awards, four MTV Video Music Awards and seven Grammy Awards, among other accolades, don’t miss this supergroup live. Time: 7pm. Venue: FNB Stadium, Nasrec. Cost: R265–R665.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Field Band Championship 2011 In addition to hosting artistic events, the Field Band Foundation also runs a lifeskills programme for children, and organises bursaries and employment for students.

This year the annual competition sees over 2 000 youngsters taking to the field to play in this musical spectacular. Time: 9am. Venue: Wanderers Cricket Stadium, Corlett Dr, Ilovo. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 234 9040, ceo@fieldband.org.za or visit fieldband.org.za Gizmos and Gadgets Expo This is a remote and techno toy expo with a gathering of hobbyists and hobby shops showcasing the greatest of the old and latest of the new. Activities and events on offer include model planes flying in the park, a remote control car grand prix, a Segway obstacle course, rocket building and launching as well as solar-powered car workshops. Also 9 October. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Sci Bono, 1 President St, cnr Miriam Makeba St, Newtown.

Cost: adults R20, children R10. Contact Refilwe: 011 639 8400 or refilwep@ sci-bono.co.za

Festival of Lights The event is hosted by the South African Hindu Maha Sabha and visitors can enjoy a colourful array of song, dance, culture, traditional cuisine, bargain shopping and a spectacular 18-minute fireworks display. Visitors can take part in fun activities such as clay lamp and henna painting, and use their artistic talents to create a giant Rangoli, a decorative artwork, on the Square. Among the highlights are performances by the Drisha Music Academy, Tribhangi Dance Theatre, Moving into Dance Mophatong, Natya Anjali and Jagaat. Time: 10am until late. Venue: Mary Fitzgerald Square, Newtown. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit diwalifestival.co.za Neighbourgoods Market is in town The famous market from Cape Town launched on 10 September this year. You can expect to see the Cape Town market regulars, which are Union Breweries, Origin Artisan Roasters and Nigiro Teas, Petit Cochon, The Charcuterie & Richard Bosman Quality Cured Meats and Lazanou Organic Vineyards. Browse the stalls and indulge in their delicious wares. Time: 9am–3pm, every Saturday. Venue: 73 Juta Street, cnr De Beer and Juta St, Braamfontein.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 370 4075, willem@neighbourgoodsmarket.co.za or visit neighbourgoodsmarket.co.za

12 wednesday National Bandana Day Buy your bandana from your nearest Pick n Pay or BP Express store and show solidarity towards the brave fight that leukaemia sufferers, who lose their hair from chemotherapy, face daily. All money raised assists The Sunflower Fund in increasing the South African Bone Marrow Registry. Cost: R20 per bandana.

For more info: visit sunflowerfund.org.za magazine joburg

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16 sun

World Animal Day fun run/walk Register for a 2,5km or 5km fun run/walk. MyPlanet donates R50 to Animals in Distress with every entry received up to R10 000. All money made on the day goes to the organisation. Dogs on leashes are also welcome. Time: registration 7am, start 8am. Venue: The Paddocks, plot 20, Moerdyk St, Vorna Valley. Cost: R50. Contact: 078 458 9143, aid@animalsindistress.org.za or visit animalsindistress.org.za

16 sunday

20 thursday

Avon Justine iThemba Walkathon Put on the funkiest, pinkest gear you can find and join thousands of people in a family fun walk to crusade against breast cancer.

Family entertainment includes the Toddler Trot, food stalls, children’s play area, and live performances. Time: 8am. Entries close 5 October, but late entries are accepted at registration. Venue: Marks Park Sports Complex, Judith Rd, Emmarentia. Cost: R65, children under 12 R45. For more info: visit ithembawalkathon.co.za

Starfish Visa Long Long Long Table of Melrose Arch The Starfish charity aims to make a difference to the lives of children orphaned and made vulnerable by HIV/ Aids. Some of the city’s top restaurants are preparing a three-course meal. The theme is ’70s disco and radio personality Jeremy Mansfield is your host. Entertainment is

by Denim and Garth Taylor. Time: 7pm.

Venue: participating restaurants in Melrose Arch. Cost: R300–R500. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 800

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22 saturday JhbSouth.co.za Family Festival The day brings stage entertainment, craft market stalls, children’s inflatable park, various demos and expos plus the rugby final screening. Also 23 October. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Rietvlei Zoo Farm. Cost: R25 adults, R15 children under 12 years. For more info: visit jhbsouth.co.za Michael Mount Waldorf School open day Meet the teachers, listen to a talk on Waldorf and tour the facilities.

Time: 9:30am. Venue: 231 Bryanston Dr (entrance in Culross Rd), Bryanston. Cost: free. Contact Karin: 011 706 6125 Toddler Sense seminar Join baby and toddler expert Sister Ann Richardson and her guest speakers for a morning of shared knowledge on feeding, potty training, managing discipline, development, stimulation and more. There are goodie bags, prizes up for grabs and tea is served.

Booking is essential. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: Rosebank Union Church, cnr St Andrews Rd and William Nicol Dr, Hurlingham. Cost: R290. Contact Debbie: 031 262 4962, 082 467 8236, bookings@toddlersense. co.za or visit toddlersense.co.za

titbits, details of surgical procedures, and unprovoked attacks on former colleagues.

Ends 30 October. Time: 8pm, Tuesday– Saturday; 6pm, Sunday. Venue: The Teatro at Montecasino, Fourways. Cost: R295– R500. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

26 wednesday Taste the 2011 Veritas winners To wine and brandy lovers, the Veritas Awards are a trustworthy barometer of quality and excellence. Instead of buying every Veritas double gold and gold winner announced on 8 October, enthusiasts can sample these outstanding wines at public tastings countrywide. Time: 5pm–8pm. Venue:

25 tuesday John Cleese: The Alimony Tour For the first time, the legendary comic and most senile member of the Monty Python clan brings his Alimony Tour to SA. It is an evening of anecdotes, psychoanalytical

25 October – John Cleese: The Alimony Tour

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Joburg Theatre, cnr Loveday and Hoofd St, Braamfontein. Cost: R140–R210. For more info: visit joburgtheatre.com Baba Indaba There are a host of speakers covering topics such as baby massage, supplementation, health, development and behaviour. Children are entertained by SABC’s Takalani Sesame muppets. Ends 30 October. Time: 9:30am–5pm. Venue: Sandton Convention Centre, 8 Fredman Dr, Sandton. Cost: adults R50, children free. Contact: 021 689 3262 or visit babaindaba.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN

28 October – Cinderella

Bill Gallagher Room, Sandton Convention Centre, Maude St, Sandown. Cost: R140.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

28 friday Retirement Expo The first expo of this kind to be held in South Africa offers everything for those planning their retirement or looking to add to their current scheme. For those in the planning stages, those who have already retired, and the families of those reaching retirement age, this event provides up-to-date interactive workshops, information and products covering all aspects of “mature” life. Ends 30 October. Time: 10am–6pm. Venue: The Coca-Cola Dome, cnr Olievenhout

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Ave and Northumberland Rd, Northriding.

Cost: R50. Contact: 011 549 8300, rene@ tepg.co.za or nicole@tepg.co.za Cinderella The popular pantomime is brought magically to life from page to stage by legendary storyteller and mirthmaker Janice Honeyman. Don’t miss this high-quality, top-drawer production packed with an abundance of comedy, stunning sets, beautiful costumes and, of course, the special moment when Cinderella is transformed from rags-toriches and whisked off to the ball – with the help of some fairy godmother magic. Ends 30 December. Time: 7:30pm, Friday; 3pm and 7:30pm, Saturday; 12pm, Sunday.

New show times added from November; visit the website for details. Venue: The

a tog bag, sling bag or pencil case. Time: 9am–4pm, Monday–Friday; 9am–2pm, Saturday. Venue: Glendower Place, 99 Linksfield Rd, Dowerglen, Edenvale.

Cost: R20 per person per hour studio fee. Contact: 011 453 2721 or rosie@ potteryjunxion.co.za Gadgets and Gizmos Expo This is a remote and techno toy show with hobbyists and hobby shops exhibiting the greatest of the old and the latest of the new. 8 and 9 October. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Sci Bono, 1 President St, cnr Miriam Makeba St, Newtown. Cost: adults R20, children R10. Contact Refilwe: 011 639 8400 or refilwep@sci-bono.co.za

art, culture and science

classes, talks and workshops

Artists Under the Sun For 50 years, Artists Under the Sun has been showcasing the largest variety of art and execution in South Africa; over 100 artists display around 1 000 works of art. Meet the artists, talk to them, or just view their work while you enjoy a walk in the park. 1 and 2 October. Time: 9am–4:30pm. Venue: cnr Prince of Wales Dr and Westwold Way (next to Zoo Lake).

Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 432 1482 or visit artistsunderthesun.co.za Ceramic painting, mosaic and fabric painting Paint on one of their huge selection of ceramic items, dragons, fairies, plates, cupcakes and trinket boxes, or try your hand at mosaic and fabric painting

Art classes Children learn from experienced art teachers. Time: 3pm–4pm and 4pm–5pm, Monday–Thursday. Venue: Artjamming, Blu Bird Centre, Atholl and Lonehill Centre, Lonehill Boulevard, Fourways. Cost: R150 per class. Contact Blu Bird branch: 011 786 0599 or Lonehill branch: 011 465 5778 Biodanza for children This is a fun, engaging, creative session of movement, dance, imagination and music for you and your child to enjoy together. Children from age 3 to 11 can enjoy this fun workshop.

Booking essential via sms or email. 1 October. Time: 11am–12pm. Venue: 35 Menton Rd, Richmond. Cost: R40 each for child and adult. Contact: 082 901 0075 or katebiodanza@iafrica.com

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1–31 October – Drama Workshop

Drama workshop A dynamic drama programme for children from age 3–12 years old that develops their acting ability and improves their confidence. 1–31 October. Time: R580 per term. Venue: Helen O’Grady Drama Academy branches in Germiston, Alberton, Lenasia, Sandton, Morningside, Boksburg, Houghton, Benoni, Kensington, Sandringham, Edenvale, Bedfordview, Kempton Park and Sunningdale. Cost: varies. For more info: visit dramaafrica.com Earthworm talk The Earthworm Interest Group of Southern Africa is hosting a talk on how to use earthworms and their products to grow herbs. In addition they’ll chat about the importance of earthworms and how to create an earthworm farm.

Join them for a morning market and car boot sale afterwards where you can pick up goodies such as crafts and wormeries.

There is also a raffle where you can stand the chance of winning a worm farm, among other prizes. 15 October. Time: 8:30am–12:30pm. Venue: Colourful Corner, cnr Christiaan de Wet and Dolfyn Rd, Randpark Ridge, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R100, children under 12 R50, family ticket (two adults, two children) R200 and R50 for additional children thereafter.

Contact: 083 309 3204, mmloudon@ lantic.net or quadri@lantic.net Imagine Your Life workshop This programme for children aged 7 and older teaches them how to shift their perspective and attitude so they have the power to change their outlook. They learn about gratitude, affirmation and self-motivation.

4 and 6 October. Time: 8:30am–12:30pm,

15 October – Earthworm talk

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booking essential. Venue: Imagine the Venue, Watercombe Rd, Farmall. Cost: R110. Contact: 082 928 7474 or imagine@ mailnet.co.za Little Cooks Club Offers cooking classes for children as young as toddlers. Time, venue and cost varies. For more info: visit littlecooksclub.co.za McCain sponsored holiday class For 7–14 year olds. 3, 5 and 7 October. Time: 9:30am–12pm. Venue: Rivonia Little Cooks Club. Cost: free. Contact Megan: 083 985 8080 or meganh@littlecooksclub.co.za Painting classes Children from age 6 are taught techniques that can be applied to ceramics. Time and cost: varies, depending on booking. Venue: Pottery Junxion, Glendower Place, 99 Linksfield Rd, Edenvale. Contact: 011 453 2721, rosie@potteryjunxion.co.za or visit potteryjunxion.co.za Seedpod Studio This studio offers regular workshops for children and adults in ceramics, decoupage, mixed media and mosaic. Venue: Broadacres Lifestyle Centre, Cedar Rd, Broadacres. Cost: varies. Contact: 011 465 0375 or visit seedpodstudio.com Tots n Pots workshops Parents or grandparents can spend a day in the kitchen with their child and learn how to cook delicious recipes. 1, 8, 15, 22 and 29 October. Time: 9am–10am. Venue: Tots n Pots, Norscot Manor Recreation Centre, 16B Penguin Dr, Norscot, Fourways. Cost: R820 per term (10 classes) or R90 per class.

Contact Janine: 072 086 6213, janine@ totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com

family outings Family fun days Parents can enjoy wine tasting and jazz music while their children are entertained with face painting, an animal farm, balloon shaping, cupcake decorating and a jumping castle. 30 October. Time: 12pm–3pm. Venue: River Place Country Estate, No 18, R511, Hennops River Valley.

Cost: adults R265, including a three-course meal; children R125, including a two-course meal. Contact: 079 886 9827, 071 862 9752, info@riverplace.co.za or visit riverplace.co.za Make some pizza Visit the tea garden where little ones create their own lunch.

While you eat, childminders look after your children as they play in the playground. Time: varies. Venue: The Silver Birch Restaurant, cnr Beyers Naudé and Ysterhout Ave, Randpark Ridge. Cost: varies. Contact: 011 792 5714 magazine joburg

South African Lipizzaners See the dazzling performance, meet the riders and feed the horses carrots in the courtyard after the show. Buy something to eat while the children play on the jumping castle. 2, 9, 16, 23 and 30 October. Venue: indoor arena, Lipizzaner Centre, 1 Dahlia Rd, Kyalami. Cost: R110, children under 3 enter free. Contact: 011 702 2103 or visit lipizzaners.co.za Sunday Jazz lunch Take in the scenic views across the Magaliesberg mountain range as you relax to the sounds of acoustic guitar and marimba while enjoying a carvery lunch. 2, 9, 16, 23 and 30 October.

Time: 3pm. Venue: Tumulus Restaurant, Maropeng Visitor’s Centre, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: adults R135, children under 12 R75 or they can order from the children’s menu for R50. Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za Traditional Sunday carvery lunch This establishment celebrates family values every Sunday with fun and activities for all, topped with a traditional Sunday lunch. The cost of your meal includes a complimentary afternoon cruise on the Petit Verdot at 4pm. 2, 9, 16, 23 and 30 October. Time: 12pm. Venue: Riviera on Vaal Hotel & Country Club, Mario Milani Dr, Vereeniging. Cost: R165, children under 12 half price; booking essential. Contact: 016 420 1300, reservations@rivieraonvaal. co.za or visit rivieraonvaal.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Chartwell Castle and Guest House Spend the day at this four-storeyed castle. They have the biggest, known uninterrupted maze in the southern hemisphere, which you can use for games or races. Use of maze by appointment.

Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Friday. Venue: Hood Rd, Dainfern. Cost: for use of the maze, adults R50, children R25. Contact: 010 227 0002 or visit chartwellcastle.co.za Cooper’s Cave picnic and walking tour The day’s activities include a walking tour led by Christine Steininger, the only woman in South Africa to hold a permit for an active dig; an interactive fossil and site talk; the exploration of a cave; a chance to

look for fossils, and learning how to make stone tools. A jersey, torch, hat, sunscreen, comfortable clothes, walking shoes and camera are essential. 1 October. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Sterkfontein Caves, Maropeng. Cost: R350 including a light picnic lunch. Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za Drake’s Party Farmyard Pack a picnic for the family and enjoy the outdoors, as well as pony rides and a petting zoo.

Time: 9am–5pm, Monday and Wednesday.

Venue: Clulee Ave, Linbro Park. Cost: R25, includes pony rides and tea/coffee.

Contact: 084 941 8219 Elemental maze They have reconfigured the maze, and have a totally different quiz designed for all ages to get visitors through and out of the maze. This traditional maze is constructed of reed walls and contains five secret gardens themed around the elements (earth, air, fire and water). It also has a Garden of Reflection. Children under 15 must be accompanied by an adult. Time: 10am–5pm, Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Honeydew Mazes, Boland St, just off Beyers Naudé Ave. Cost: adults R80, children under 15 R60, family ticket (two adults, two children) R250. Contact: 073 795 2174, enquiries @ maizemaze.co.za or visit honeydewmazes.co.za Montecasino Bird Gardens Wander along walkways within magnificent gardens and marvel at a variety of colourful birds, mammals, reptiles and unusual animals from around the world. In the walkthrough aviary, you’ll find over 60 species of birds. Time: 8:30am–5pm, daily. Venue: Montecasino Boulevard, Fourways. Cost: adults and children older than 10 R45, children under 10 R25. For more info: visit montecasino.co.za Our spring skies – isiLimela Learn about some of the traditional African stories behind the stars, such as the “farmer’s stars” that the Sotho and Tswana people call selemela and the Zulus isilimela. It’s believed that these stars die in the winter dusk and are reborn in the rainy season, where they reappear as the Pleiades (or Seven Sisters) in the evening sky during October. The talk is followed by a

1 sat

Legends Behind Pens and Lenses Visit a photo exhibition of professional and school photographers. Madiba’s personal photographer, Peter Morey, is hosting a talk. Weg and Wegbreek travel journalist Villiers Steyn inspires with his experiences in South Africa. Mingle with famous photographers, journalists and editors in the media industry. The restaurant is open for meals and booking is essential. Time: 7pm. Venue: Karoo Kafee, 141 Lynnwood Rd, The Willows, Pretoria. Cost: free entry. Contact: sms “legends” to 082 655 4751 or liezel@cheesephoto.co.za

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calendar three-course dinner. 29 October. Time: 5pm–6pm. Venue: Maropeng, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R295, including dinner. Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za

markets

Visit a croc farm You have the opportunity to hold a baby crocodile as well as a variety of exotic snakes and even a tarantula. Some of South Africa’s most venomous snakes are on display, including the black and green mambas, the boomslang and many more. There is a tea garden as well as a large play area for children. Time: 9am–4:30pm, daily. Venue: Croc City Crocodile and Reptile Park, Plot 59, on the R114, Nietgedacht, Fourways.

Cost: adults R55, children under 12 R30. Contact: 083 657 7561 or visit croccity.co.za

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Annual Unica Xmas Market All proceeds go to Unica School and the Association for Autism. 28 October–6 November. Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Saturday; 9am–5pm, Sunday. Venue: LC de Villiers Sports Stadium, South St, Hatfield, Pretoria. Cost: free entry. For more info: 012 460 6539 or visit unicamarket.co.za Arts and Craft Market Shop for unique handmade crafts. Time: 8:30am–4pm, every Friday–Sunday. Venue: Garden World, Beyers Naudé Dr, Muldersdrift.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 692 0694 or visit gardenworld.co.za Bryanston Organic Market Shop for quality handcrafted goods, interesting art and photography and clothing made from natural fibres. There is a deli and fresh organic and naturally grown produce.

Time: 9am–3pm, every Thursday and Saturday. Venue: Culross Rd, Bryanston.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 706 3671 or visit bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za Craighall River Market A market with art, crafts and organic produce. 8 October.

Time: 8.30am–1pm. Venue: Marlborough Ave, Craighall Park. Cost: free entry. Contact Roy: 011 465 3413 or jmsinek@mweb.co.za

1 October – Cooper’s Cave picnic and walking tour

Groovy Family Flea Market A day of family fun and loads of stalls to browse.

1 October. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: Doxa Deo East Campus, Olympus Dr, Faerie Glen, Pretoria. Cost: free entry. Contact: 084 991 6834 or ingebrits@gmail.com Hazel Food Market Shop for homemade goodies, organic produce, internationallythemed cuisine and enjoy something to eat under the trees. Time: 8am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison and Mackenzie St, Menlo Park. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit hazelfoodmarket.co.za Irene Village Market The market offers plenty of children’s entertainment plus a fullylicensed tea garden, numerous food stalls and over 300 exhibits. 8 and 29 October. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Smuts House Museum,

Jan Smuts Ave, Irene. Cost: R5 parking.

Contact: 012 667 1659, irenemkt@mweb. co.za or visit irenemarket.co.za Jozi Food Market Shop for everything from cake, soup and ice creams to mushrooms, honey and paté. 1, 8, 15, 22 and 29 October. Time: 1:30pm. Venue: Pirates Sports Club, Braeside St, Greenside.

Cost: free entry. Contact Lee: 076 469 8995 or visit jozifoodmarket.co.za Moonlight Market Browse for art and crafts, food and enjoy live entertainment. 28 October. Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: Fountain Court, Stoneridge, 1 Stoneridge Dr, Greenstone Park. Cost: free entry. Contact: 087 550 0237 or visit stoneridge.co.za Randburg Flea Market Browse the more than 200 stalls, relax on the grass, marvel at the musical fountain or have a bite to

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eat at a restaurant. Time: 10am–5:30pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: The Brightwater Commons, Republic Rd, Ferndale. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 326 0662 or admin@randburgfleamarket.co.za Slow Market @ Harties Shop for fresh produce brought to you directly from the farmers. 1 October. Time: 1pm. Venue: NG Kerk Skeerpoort, Hartbeespoort Dam. Cost: free entry. Contact Marleze: 082 781 0736 or marleze@vodamail.co.za Walkerville Farmers and Crafters Market Children’s activities on offer include pony rides, a jungle gym, sandpit and tree house. There is a food court as well as crafts and fresh produce is sold at the 60 stalls. Shop for cakes, dolls’ clothes, wooden toys or books. Credit cards are accepted and parking is free. 1, 8, 15, 22 and 29 October. Time: 3pm. Venue: 112 Main Rd, Walkerville (R82 between

Bryanston Library story time

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Southgate and Vereeniging). Cost: free entry. Contact Gail: 079 076 7680, gail@ wfmarket.co.za or visit wfmarket.co.za

on stage and screen African Tales An interactive sing-a-long show where the children take part in the performance. On Kids’ Club days, children meet the actors. 1–9 October.

Time: 10:30am and 2:30pm, Tuesday– Sunday. Venue: Joburg Theatre Complex, cnr Loveday and Hoofd St, Braamfontein.

Cost: R60–R99. Contact: 011 403 1563, peoplestheatre@artslink.co.za or visit peoplestheatre.co.za The Green Balloon Club premiere This is a wildlife show for the young and inquisitive. Children can go on an informative journey with a team of young wildlife enthusiasts, who travel in a hot air balloon. The series continues weekdays at 8:15am, 12:15pm and 2:30pm. 3–11 October. Time: 8:15am on CBeebies, channel 306 on DStv The Pied Piper and other tales Colourful, humorous characters and a brand new ending add excitement to this interactive play that will enthral children. Ends 15 October. Time: 10:30am and 2:30pm, Monday–Saturday. Venue: The National Children’s Theatre, 3 Junction Ave, Parktown. Cost: adults R90, children R80, block bookings (10 people or more) adults R80, children R70. Contact: 011 484 1584 or visit jyt.co.za

1 October – Slow Market @ Harties

The Sleeping Beauty The South African Ballet Theatre Company presents this wellknown fairytale. 1–16 October. Time: 3pm, Saturday and Sunday; 8pm, Friday and Saturday; 11am, Thursday and Sunday; 7:30pm, Thursday. Venue: The Joburg Theatre, cnr Simmonds St and Stiemens Rd. Cost: R90–R160. Contact: 011 877 6800 or visit joburgtheatre.com

playtime and story time Boskruin Library story time Delightful stories suitable for preschoolers and primary school children. Time: 3pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Kelly Ave, Boskruin. Cost: free. Contact: 011 792 7424 Bryanston Library story time Time: 2:30pm, every Wednesday. Venue: cnr New and Payne St, Bryanston. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 706 3518 Bryanston Organic and Natural Market children’s activities 1 October: origami workshop for 6–12 year olds. Time:

9:30am–2pm. Cost: R15–R65. 6 October: spellbound puppets for 4–10 year olds.

Time: 11am–12pm. Cost: puppet show free, followed by a voluntary puppetmaking workshop at R40 per child. Venue: Bryanston Organic and Natural Market, Culross Rd (off Main Rd), Bryanston. Cost: free. Contact Glenda: 011 706 3671 or glenda@bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za Children’s play zone An educationally stimulating play area with jumping castles, jungle gyms, trampolines, a climbing wall, Wendy house and a soft-play area. Parents can relax at the coffee shop. Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Friday; 9am–1pm, Saturday. Venue: I Play, Kayburne Ave, Randpark Ridge. Cost: varies. Contact: 083 704 2834 Clearwater Mall Smurf Village The Smurfs are decending on Clearwater Mall, so take the children to the Smurfs’ Village and don’t miss out on watching The Smurfs in 3D at NuMetro. 30 September– 9 October. Time: 10am–5pm daily. Venue: Hendrik Potgieter Dr and Christiaan de Wet Rd, Strubensvalley, Roodepoort.

Cost: free entry. For more info: visit clearwatermall.co.za Jimmy Jungles Indoor adventure playground with supervised, secure facilities for toddlers and children from 6 months up to a height of 1,4m. Time: 9am–5pm.

Venue: shop 60, Stoneridge Centre, Modderfontein. Cost: children under 3 R25, older children R30 per hour. Contact: 011 452 2180 or visit jimmyjungles.co.za

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calendar Jungle Tots Farmyard Children can interact with the animals, enjoy a pony ride or play in the playground. Time: 1pm–5pm, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Venue: Glenferness, Kyalami. Cost: R30 (includes refreshments). Contact Jenny: 083 377 7571 Linden Library story time For children 4 years and older. Time: 3pm, every Wednesday. Venue: cnr 4th Ave and 6th St, Linden. Cost: free. Contact: 011 888 5685 or wendypo@joburg.org.za Norscot Manor Library story time Time: 3pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Norscot Manor Recreation Centre, Penguin Dr, Norscot Manor. Cost: free. Contact: 011 705 3323 Oki Doki This play venue offers a unique “tiny town” where children can play dressup. There is also a coffee shop for parents.

Time: 8:30am–4:30pm, Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: 66 6th St, Linden. Cost: free entry for adults, children R20. Contact: 082 824 1089, info@oki-doki.co.za or visit oki-doki.co.za Olivedale Library story time Time: 10am, every Friday. Venue: President Fouché Dr, Olivedale. Cost: free. Contact: 011 462 6285 Open day play dates Children can play on the equipment, in the sandpit, ride their bikes on the track, feed the chickens and run around while parents relax with coffee/ tea and homemade muffins. Extra activities are planned daily. Time: 1pm–5pm, Monday–Thursday. Venue: Lili’s Lifestyle Centre, 208 Sevenoaks Ave, Chartwell.

Cost: adults R25, including bottomless tea/coffee and muffin/cake; children R15, including goodie bag. Extra activities R10–R50. Contact: 010 213 7001, 072 682 6268 or 084 403 5393 Parkview Library story time For children 4 years and older. Time: 2:30pm, every Monday. Venue: 51 Athlone Ave, Parkview. Cost: free. Contact: 011 646 3357 Roodepoort Library story time For children from 5 years old. Time: 10am, every Wednesday. Venue: cnr Berlandina and Hodgson St, Roodepoort. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 763 1031 Rosebank Library story time Time: 3:30pm, every Wednesday. Venue: 8

Keyes Ave, Rosebank. Cost: free. Contact: 011 442 8988 Sandton Library story time Time: 3:30pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Nelson Mandela Square, West St, Sandton. Cost: free. Contact: 011 282 5911 Serendipity Children can do various crafts such as T-shirt painting, sticky mosaics, scrapbooking, beading, and create helicopters, pirate ships and princess kits. Time: 9am–5pm, Tuesday–Friday; 8:30am–4:30pm, Saturday; 8:30am–4:30pm, Sunday and public holidays. Venue: 48 Keyes Ave, Rosebank. Cost: varies. Contact: 011 447 7386, serendipityplay@gmail.com or visit serendipityplay.co.za Triba child The centre has several activities for children throughout the week. They can paint and play, develop green fingers, do sand art, yoga, creative dance, swimming and cooking. Note: not all the activities take place daily. Time: 10am–4pm, Monday– Saturday. Venue: Triba, 39–41 St Albans Ave, Craighall Park. Cost: varies. Contact: 011 501 4740 or visit tri-ba.com Weltevreden Park Library story time For children from 3–6 years old. Time: 3pm, every Thursday. Venue: Fern St, Weltevreden Park. Cost: free. Contact: 011 679 3406

sport and physical activities Abseiling and Caving Adventure Get togged up in an overall and a helmet, enter the roof of a wild cave on a rope and spend some time on a torch-lit, underground adventure. No previous experience is needed, but the minimum age is 8 years.

Time: 11am–2pm, every Sunday. Venue: in the Cradle of Humankind Heritage area.

On booking, directions to the meeting place are sent via email. Cost: adults R250, children R220 (all equipment included for each three-hour session). Contact Sandy: 082 486 2464, info@wildcaves.co.za or visit wildcaves.co.za Avalanche Hit the ice ­– go bumboarding or skiing on the 65m slope and drag lift.

Instructors are on hand at all times for lessons and safety. Time: 9am–late, Monday– Sunday. Venue: Cedar Square, Fourways.

Cost: varies. Contact: 011 467 2426

Larney Ladybirds play days An outdoor play area with climbing frame, sandpit, pool and scooter track.

Parents can relax under the trees, so bring a blanket. For children 0–6 years old.

Time: 10am–4pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Valley Rd, Broadacres, Fourways.

Cost: adults R25, including cake/muffin and bottomless tea/coffee; children R15, including crisps, juice, fruit stick and a surprise. Contact: 083 770 7702, bianca@ larneyladybirds.co.za or visit larneyladybirds.co.za

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Cricket School holiday clinic Covers all aspects of the game and caters for ages 4–15 years. Coaches work to a specific programme and cover batting, bowling, fielding, general knowledge and etiquette of the game. Net sessions, intense fielding drills and grid rotation are some of the coaching aspects that the students are exposed to. Students are split into groups according to their age and ability. 3–6 October. Time: registration on day one 8:15am, then 9am–2pm. Venue: University of Johannesburg. Cost: R500 per child, R950 for two children from the same family. For more info on requirements, contact: 021 671 9460, 084 249 9969 or william@cricketschool.co.za Ice Skating Academy Learn to skate over eight weeks for one hour per week.

Professional ice skaters oversee the courses. Toddlers to adults are welcome.

You can choose from three different courses: every Wednesday 5 October–23 November; every Saturday 8 October–26 November; every Sunday 9 October–27 November. Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm or 6:30pm–7:30pm, every Wednesday; 8am–9am or 9am–10am, every Saturday; 9am–10am, every Sunday. Venue: Northgate Ice Rink, cnr Witkoppen and Olievenhout Rd, Northriding. Cost: R470 per course with own skates, R570 per course with skate rental. Contact: 011 794 8706 Joyride Family Fun Park Children get to drive, while their parents play passenger. There is a wide range of age-appropriate vehicles to choose from. All activities have been carefully designed with safety in mind. For children over 8 years. Time: 12pm–8pm, every Saturday and Sunday. Venue: plot 37, R550, Grasmere, Nettleton Rd. Cost: R30 entry fee. Contact Karin: 082 723 9953, karin.fitzpatrick@joyridefunpark.co.za or visit joyridefunpark.co.za Little Kickers They offer fun and informal, yet professionally run soccer training classes for boys and girls. Age groups are 18 months–2 years, 2–4 years, 4–6 years and 6–8 years. Time, venue and cost varies. For more info: visit littlekickers.co.za Mountain boarding If you’d like to challenge your board-riding skills or even if you are a first-timer, their instructors will guide you through the basics, or assist more experienced riders in the BorderX tracks, Slope-style Park and Big-Air Jump.

Equipment and padding are provided.

Time: 10am–5pm, Wednesday–Sunday.

Venue: Jozi X, cnr Main Rd and Sloane St, Bryanston. Cost: R250 for a two-hour lesson, including equipment and slope pass.

Contact: 082 456 2358 or info@jozix.co.za

3–6 October – Cricket School holiday clinic

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Absa Bok Town Catch all the Rugby World Cup matches on the big screen, including the semi-finals and final and enjoy the atmosphere. 1, 2, 8, 9, 15, 16, 21 and 23 October.

Time: varies. Venue: Montecasino Outdoor Piazza. Cost: R30, includes one local beer, cider, wine, soft drink or mineral water per ticket. For more info: visit montecasino.co.za

Randburg Raceway Race in specially designed imported racing karts. There are junior karts for 6–14 year olds, which have been adjusted so that children can reach the pedals. Time: 11am–8pm, Monday– Saturday; 11am–6pm, Sunday. Venue: 272 Samantha St and Strijdom Park, Randburg.

Cost: varies. Contact: 011 792 2260, 082 780 5115, info@randburgraceway.co.za or visit randburgraceway.co.za Sailing training Learn-to-sail training programmes for children from the age of 7, from level one to advanced.

Children are taught by qualified coaches at a South African sailing academy. All equipment is supplied. Time: 9am–12pm, every Saturday. Venue: Victoria Lake Club, Victoria Lake, Refinery Rd, Germiston. Cost: varies. Contact: 083 626 7597 or shellee@ sailingcentre.co.za Yoga for children This workshop includes a fun day of yoga, dancing, art, breathing, healing and games. 22 October. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Yoga4Kids, Good Vibrations Sanctuary, 9A cnr 11th and Homestead Rd, Rivonia. Cost: R450. Contact Suzie: 083 299 6555, 084 341 2833, info@ yoga4kids.co.za or visit yoga4kids.co.za

only for parents classes, talks & workshops Adventure Boot Camp This is a fourweek outdoor programme that offers fitness instruction, nutritional counselling and motivational training with energising activities that are designed to help you reach your fitness goals. Starts 17 October.

Time, venue and cost: varies. For more info: visit adventurebootcamp.co.za Auckland Park Preparatory Flower Festival and open day View the school’s facilities, meet the teachers and celebrate their 90th birthday with them. 7 October.

Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: 59 Twickenham Ave, Auckland Park. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 482 3697 or secretary@apps.co.za Domestic worker and childminder workshop The knowledge of how to provide age-appropriate stimulation and October 2011

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Yoga workshop for mom and child A workshop filled with yoga, breathing, life skills and relaxation to reconnect on a soul level with your child, and to learn how to bring a calm and happy way of being into your child’s life. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Yoga4Kids, Good Vibrations Sanctuary, 9A cnr 11th and Homestead Rd, Rivonia. Cost: R650 for both mother and child for the day. Contact Suzie: 083 299 6555, 084 341 2833, info@ yoga4kids.co.za or visit yoga4kids.co.za

optimal care for your child is a great asset.

The Power of Play workshop provides your childminder with the energy and inspiration to take an innovative and fresh approach to stimulation that has countless benefits for your child. 6 October. Time: 9am–2pm.

Venue: Parkhurst Recreation Centre, 5th Ave, Parkhurst. Cost: R500, including manual and course material. Contact: 074 102 6200 or shannoneggers@vodamail.co.za Domestic workers’ course Give your domestic worker all the knowledge and

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confidence she needs to care for your child.

This course covers childcare for children from birth to 3 years old. It is offered once a week over four weeks. 6, 13, 20 and 27 October.

Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: Sugar and Spice Nanny Training, 20 Mineraal St, Jukskei Park, Randburg. Cost: R1 850. Contact Sonya: 084 500 4141, sonya@nannytraining. co.za or visit nannytraining.co.za Free open Biodanza class Biodanza is an invitation to that joyful, healthy, happy part of you that’s just waiting to come

out. A session involves dance and exercise with music guided by a facilitator, but without steps to learn and follow. Booking via sms or email essential. 22 October.

Time: 2pm–4pm. Venue: 35 Menton Rd, Richmond. Cost: free. Contact Kate: 082 901 0075 or katebiodanza@iafrica.com Knitting class Wool and needles are supplied (at your cost) or bring your own to learn how to knit properly. 15 October.

Time: 2:30pm–4pm. Venue: Ngwenya Glass Village, off Beyers Naudé and R114, Muldersdrift. Cost: R150, includes refreshments. Contact: 079 887 7505 Michael Mount Waldorf School open day Meet the teachers, listen to a talk on Waldorf education and tour the facilities. 22 October. Time: 9:30am.

Venue: 231 Bryanston Dr (entrance in Culross Rd), Bryanston. Cost: free. Contact Karin: 011 706 6125 Moms and caregivers workshop Learn how to build a daily programme of stimulation for your toddler or preschooler through play. The course includes school readiness and early learning. 14 October.

Time: 8:30am–11:30am. Venue: Edukits, 4 Jasmyn Place, Randpark Ext. 5, Randburg.

Cost: R500, includes refreshments, full supporting notes and a week’s worth of stimulation games/activities for your child.

Booking essential. Contact: 082 331 5273 or lauryan@edukits.co.za Parenting talk with Sister Elizabeth Beavon Dealing with the everyday sniffles,

coughs, bumps and runny stomachs with a home-medicine chest. 5 October. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: Triba, Craighall Park.

Cost: R230, which includes refreshments and a goodie bag. Contact Elizabeth: 082 586 1924 or elizabeth@tum2mom.co.za Parent workshop Everything you need to know to ensure the optimal development of your little one through age-appropriate stimulation and play. Areas tackled include the importance of play for stimulation and development, emotional intelligence, the role of play and much more. 8 October.

Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Field and Study Centre, Louis Ave, Parkmore. Cost: R500, including manual and course material.

Contact: 074 102 6200 or shannoneggers@ vodamail.co.za Scrapbooking workshop for all your memories Learn scrapbook techniques to complete an album. 3, 10, 17, 24 and 31 October. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Scrapbook Den, 75 Dunvegan Ave, Dunvegal, Edenvale. Cost: R200, including products. Contact: 011 453 2724, j.mac@ iafrica.com or visit scrapbookden.co.za The Bridge Transformational workshop This workshop is based on Louis Hay’s book Love yourself and Heal your life. The essence is to create positive transformation in your life and reflect that on to your children. 8 and 9 October; 29 and 30 October. Time: 8:30am, Saturday; 9am, Sunday. Venue: Buccleuch, Sandton.

Cost: R650 for the weekend. Contact:

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076 135 7601, bridgetranswork@gmail. com or visit bridgetranswork.webs.com The Developmental, Individual Differences and Relationship Model Conference Focused on children with challenges in communicating, including those children on the autism spectrum.

The model was developed by Dr Stanley Greenspan and Dr Serena Wieder and is a standout framework for understanding the socio-emotional development of each child. 19, 20, 21, 22 and 25 October. Time and venue: call to enquire. Cost: R100– R3 000. For more info and application forms: 011 706 9234 or talksense@mweb.co.za

on stage and screen Comedy night at TSG Fourways Enjoy a meal followed by belly-aching laughter with stand-up comedy. Comedians include

31 October – Scrapbooking workshop for all your memories

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Warren Robertson, Ryan Whittle, Luck du Plessis, Mel Miller, Tony King, Al Prodgers and others. Booking essential. 12 and 26 October. Time: 7pm. Venue: TSG Fourways, Leaping Frog Shopping Centre, Mulbarton Rd, Fourways. Cost: meal cost as per menu, comedy free. Contact: 011 465 7270 or visit tsg4ways.co.za Girls Wanna Rock The hot, all-girl cast ignites the stage, shatters guitars and gets you rocking in no time. The show features seven decades of music starting with the ’40s. 1–9 October. Time: 8pm, Tuesday– Saturday; 2pm, Sunday. Venue: Cresta Barnyard Theatre. Cost: Wednesday– Saturday R135; Tuesday and Sunday R85.

For more info: visit barnyardtheatre.co.za Riverdance This is an innovative and exciting blend of dance, music and song. Drawing on Irish traditions, the combined talents of the performers propel Irish dancing and music into present day. The fusion of Irish dancing with such diverse dance styles as Flamenco, American tap and Russian folk dancing captures the imagination of audiences across all ages and cultures. 1–9 October. Time: 8pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 3pm Saturday; 2pm and 6pm, Sunday. Venue: The Teatro at Montecasino, Fourways. Cost: R221–R374.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Symphonic Rocks This year’s concert features a cross-genre mix of some of South Africa’s most popular artists performing songs backed by a powerful 65-piece

symphony orchestra. 7 October. Time: 8pm. Venue: Big Top Arena, Carnival City, cnr Century and Eisberg Rd, Brakpan. Cost: R225–R275. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com The Chilli Boy This is the hysterical story of an old Indian woman reincarnated as a white gangster from Boksburg. At the age of 30, the gangster starts suffering flashbacks from his previous life as an Indian woman. He starts wearing a sari while cooking all sorts of delicious Indian meals, including curries and biryanis. No under 12s. 5–30 October. Time: 8pm, Wednesday–Saturday; 3pm, Sunday.

Venue: The Joburg Theatre, cnr Simmonds St and Stiemens Rd. Cost: R130. Contact: 011 877 6800 or visit joburgtheatre.com

out and about Books2You Fair Hundreds of books to discover, from bestsellers to fantastic nonfiction. Every book purchased helps get

15 October – Knitting class

free books for your school. 31 October.

Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: Waterberg Academy, Vaalwater. Cost: free. Contact: 082 907 1573, info@books2you.co.za or visit books2you.co.za RMB WineX Sandton This is a festival for the discerning wine consumer. Each year, the country’s top cellar masters travel to Gauteng to meet the province’s keenest wine lovers, to share their award-winning winemaking triumphs, and to introduce their latest vintages and newest releases.

26–28 October. Time: 5pm–9pm daily.

Venue: The Pavilion, Sandton Convention Centre, Maude St, Sandton. Cost: R90–R180. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Rose bus tour This year the bus heads for the countryside to two equestrian estates outside Johannesburg. Visit the Waterfall Equestrian Estate as well as the gardens

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calendar at Beaulieu, one of which contains 1 000 roses divided into formally and informally laid out sections. Enjoy lunch at 1pm at Ludwig’s Roses. 15 October. Time: 8am.

Venue: Ludwig’s Roses Egoli, London Rd, Linbro Park. Cost: R230, including tea and lunch; booking essential. Contact: 012 544 0144 or petrisia@ludwigsroses.co.za Spring Festival This is the launch of the spring and summer clothing and accessories ranges with promotional offers and daily lucky prize draws. On 8 and 15 October there is a fashion show at 11am to showcase the new ladies’, mens’ and children’s ranges.

6–15 October. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Bryanston Organic and Natural Market, Culross Rd (off Main Rd), Bryanston. Cost: free. Contact Glenda: 011 706 3671 or glenda@bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za Swartkrans walking tour Swartkrans, one of the Cradle’s richest fossil sites, is usually closed to the public. This tour, however, enables small groups of guests to experience and observe an active palaeontological dig.

Bone detective: transformations in body and mind

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Up-and-coming scientist Brendon Billings takes you on a tour to discover the fascinating information buried in fossils. Examine the brains and bodies of different animals, and see an exhibition of casts of fossil discoveries made in the Cradle of Humankind. Time: 9am.

Venue: Maropeng, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R350, includes a light picnic lunch. Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za

They are guided around the site by scientist Morris Sutton, who is excavating there. 15 October. Time: 9am. Venue: Maropeng, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R350, includes a light picnic lunch. Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za Taste the 2011 Veritas winners Enthusiasts can taste these outstanding wines during several public tastings countrywide. 26 October. Time: 5pm–8pm.

Venue: Bill Gallagher Room, Sandton Convention Centre, Maude St, Sandown.

Cost: R140. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

support groups

15 October – Rose bus tour

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Al-Anon Offers help and support to the families of problem drinkers. Contact: 0861 252 666 or visit alanon.org.za Alcoholics Anonymous To find a support group in your area visit aasouthafrica.org.za

Children’s Disability Centre Aims to assist visually impaired and autistic children, their parents and caregivers with challenges they might experience in relation to school readiness. Contact: 011 643 3050 or visit childrensdisabilitycentre.co.za Choc Provides advice and support for families affected by childhood cancer.

Contact: 086 111 3500 or visit choc.org.za Compassionate Friends Support group for bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents. Contact: 011 440 6322 or visit compassionatefriends.org.za Diabetes South Africa Provides support for those affected by diabetes and advocates for people with the condition. Contact: 086 111 3913 or visit diabetessa.co.za Johannesburg Bipolar Support Association Support and advice for people affected by this disorder. Contact: 011 485 2406 or visit bipolar.co.za

LifeLine Provides a 24-hour telephonic confidential crisis intervention service.

Contact: 011 728 1347 Overeaters Anonymous (OA) This is a fellowship of people who share a solution to the problem of compulsive overeating.

Contact: 011 640 2901 PACSEN − Parents for Children with Special Educational Needs Provides counselling, support and information for parents with special needs children. Contact: 012 333 0149 or visit pacsen.co.za Respect Me Support for children who are affected by bullying. Contact Kelly: info@ respectme.co.za or visit respectme.co.za The Family Life Centre Offers marriage, divorce and couple counselling, single parent and step-parent support groups, family counselling as well as play therapy, grief counselling and trauma debriefing.

Venue: 1 Cardigan Rd, Parkwood. Contact: 011 788 4784/5, famlife@iafica.com or visit familylife.co.za Tough Love Self-help programme and support group for families affected by difficult adolescent behaviour. Contact: 0861 868 445 or visit toughlove.org.za Women and men against child abuse The group offers medical, psychological and follow-up therapy and treatment for children, who have been sexually, physically and emotionally abused, as well as support for their family members or caregivers. Contact: 011 789 8815 or visit wmaca.org.za

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26 October – Taste the 2011 Veritas winners

Youth with Diabetes This is a non-profit organisation created to help children, teens and young adults living with diabetes. For more info: visit youthwithdiabetes.com

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Baby swimming classes Babies learn water safety skills through song and play.

Time and cost varies. Venue: Meyersdal Aqua Centre, 60 Philip Engelbrecht Ave, Meyersdal. Contact: 071 993 2441 Moms and Babes and Moms and Tots workshops For babies 2 to 12 months. For times, cost, branches and contacts: visit momsandbabes.co.za and momsandtots.co.za Moms and dads pregnancy yoga workshop 15 October. Time: 1:30pm–4:30pm. Venue: Triba, 39–41 St

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Albans Ave, Craighall. Cost: R480 for mom/ dad and your baby. Contact Theoni: 083 229 3253 or visit consciousbirth.co.za Mothers and Miracles baby stimulation workshop They specialise in creating fun learning experiences for babies and toddlers. Their weekly workshops offer an intimate and nurturing environment where mothers and their young children engage in a range of carefully designed play-based activities that maximise learning potential. Time: varies, depending on the age of your baby.

Venue: 6th Ave, Highlands North. Cost: R1 000 per term. Contact: 082 847 9994 or danielle@linden.org.za Toddler Sense seminar Join baby and toddler expert Sister Ann Richardson and her guest speakers for a morning of shared knowledge on toddler feeding, potty training, managing discipline, development, stimulation, and more. There are goodie

bags, prizes up for grabs and tea is served.

Booking is essential. 22 October. Time: 8am–1pm. Venue: Rosebank Union Church, cnr St Andrews Rd and William Nicol Dr, Hurlingham. Cost: R290. Contact Debbie: 031 262 4962, 082 467 8236, bookings@ toddlersense.co.za or visit toddlersense.co.za Top Tots Modderfontein The term starts 10 October. Venue: 53 Golf View Dr, Thornhill Estate, Modderfontein. Cost: registration R120, R75 per class. Contact: 083 470 1594 or carol@toptots.co.za. For Top Tots Benoni details, contact 083 345 9157, 071 470 8506 or visit toptots.co.za Top Tots mother and child workshop Come for a fun morning with other moms.

Each participating child receives a Top Tots gift. 14 October. Time: 10:30am for toddlers 1–3 years old, 11:30am for babies 3–11 months. Venue: Fountain Court, Glen Shopping Centre, cnr Orpen and Letaba St, Oakdene. Cost: R30 per person including tea/coffee and juice. Contact Top Tots Mondeor/Glenvista and Alberton: 083 459 5673 or 082 330 8816 Top Tots Randpark Ridge The fourth term starts 1 October. Time: 9:15am for toddlers 19–24 months and 11am for toddlers 13–18 months, Monday; 9am for toddlers 19–24 months and 11am for babies 8–12 months, Tuesday; 9am for toddlers 2–3 years and 11am for babies 3–12 months, Thursday; 8:30am for babies 2–3 years, 10:30am for babies 13–18 months, 12pm for toddlers 19–24 months,

Saturday. Venue: 110A 4th Avenue, Fairview.

Cost: R900 per term, first class free. Contact: 011 476 1454, 079 980 7870 or lydia@ toptots.co.za. For more information on Top Tots Bryanston/Randburg, contact: koren@ toptots.co.za

playtime and story time Clamber Club This well-rounded programme stimulates your little one in all spheres of development. Toddler classes are divided into groups between ages 1–3 years. The baby group is for babies between 2–12 months. Dates and cost varies among branches. Time: varies, every Monday–Saturday. Venue: Clamber Club branches in Edenvale, Boksburg and Fourways. Cost: varies. Contact: 011 025 5825 or visit clamberclub.com Jungle Tots A stimulating and safe environment where children from 2–4 years old can play with a range of educational indoor equipment. Time: varies: Venues: visit their website for a venue near you. Cost: varies. For more info: visit jungletots.co.za Larney Ladybirds play days An outdoor play area with climbing frame, sandpit, pool and scooter track. Bring a blanket for the grass area. For children 0–6 years old. Time: 10am–4pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Valley Rd, Broadacres, Fourways. Cost: adults R25, including cake/muffin and bottomless

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calendar Neobirth Pregnancy Care Centre Support for crisis pregnancies, abortion, miscarriages, adoption as well as support for general parenting issues. Contact: 012 343 6401, neofamily@neobirth.org.za or visit neobirth.org.za Postnatal Depression Support Association Assists mothers and the families of women affected by postnatal depression. Contact: 011 786 8803, 082 429 2279, pndsagauteng@gmail.com or visit pndsa.co.za South African Multiple Birth Association Provides moral and practical support to parents or guardians of multiple births. Contact: 0861 432 432

Barnswallow Babies This is a safe house for abandoned babies. They have several needs including funding for daily expenses, a colour printer with paper, eco-friendly baby products, educational toys, baby clothes and much more. They also need volunteers to commit their time to assist. Visit their website to see the entire needs list. Contact: 011 675 3756, 078 072 8659, mamster@webmail.co.za or visit barnswallowbabies.com

tea/coffee; children R15, including crisps, juice, fruit stick and a surprise. Contact: 083 770 7702, bianca@larneyladybirds.co.za or visit larneyladybirds.co.za

support groups Adoption South Africa Offers support groups for adopters as well as extensive services in counselling and legal social work. For more info: visit adoptionsa.co.za Bedwetting support group 8am–5pm, Monday–Friday. Contact: 083 289 6640

Cleft Friends Support for parents of babies born with a cleft lip and palate. For more info: visit cleftfriends.co.za Divorce support workshop A workshop for individuals going through a divorce or who are recently divorced. Scheduled subject to sufficient numbers. Time: 7pm–9pm. Venue: 1 Cardigan Ave, Parkwood. Cost: R390. Contact: 011 788 4784/5 or visit familylife.co.za La Leche League Breast-feeding support group. For more info: visit llli.org

how to help Annual family fun day There are rides, games, prizes, face painting, food stalls and a small flea market. All proceeds raised go directly to The Society for Language and Hearing Impaired Children. 30 October.

Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: 5 Jubilee Rd, Parktown. Cost: R20 adults, R10 children.

Contact: 011 484 3408/9 Chance Children’s Home This is a registered non-profit organisation that provides a safe, secure home and therapeutic environment for children from families in crisis. Although they offer residential care, their aim is to work with families towards the reconstruction and reunification of family

units wherever possible. For more info: visit chancechildrenshome.co.za Register online for Santa Shoebox Project This year’s target is 70 000 shoeboxes – double that of last year. Bring joy to a child during the festive season and participate in this year’s heartwarming Santa Shoebox Project. The shoeboxes need to be dropped off at central distribution points across the country between 20 October and 4 November. For more info: info@santashoebox.co.za or visit santashoebox.co.za Smile Foundation Smile Foundation is a non-profit organisation that brings people together to provide expert surgical intervention, to create greater social involvement, to enable sensible corporate social investment, and to make a difference in the lives of children with facial anomalies. If you want to help visit smilefoundationsa.org

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to joburg@childmag.co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971. Information must be received by 5 October for the November issue, and must include all relevant details.

No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

JHB Festival Ad 2

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it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

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it’s party time continued...

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last laugh

learning: a tale of two techniques SAM WILSON is forced to revise her last-minute study

b

Joe, Sam and Benj

oth of our sons are now old enough to write exams and this development has thrown up a few of our family foibles. A typical night before an exam goes something like this: “How’s the studying going?” I’ll ask, slinging my laptop bag down in the hall after work.

“Did you find your notebooks okay? Did your teachers drop any hints as to what you should spot?”

Andreas will look up appalled from the couch. “What do you mean by spot?” he asks, suspiciously. “Do you mean learn certain bits and... (hushed intake of breath)

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just leave others out? Is that what you are suggesting to your sons? Seriously?”

The boys will look up from their books expectantly, because this is not an unfamiliar altercation and – I am told – it’s rather an amusing one. You see, I am a procrastinator married to an organised person. I don’t think Andreas has ever procrastinated in his whole life. He’s never heard the whoosh of a deadline whizzing by, or broken into that cold, 3am sweat before an exam when you realize that you are going to have to start spotting from your already narrow spot topics.

The first week we met, we were hanging out in his university flat, drinking cheap white wine and eating Nik Naks (impromptu gifts have always been my forte), when the doorbell rang.

“Can I borrow your chemistry notes?” asked a flustered-looking person.

“Absolutely, they’re in that file,” said

Andreas, nonchalantly. “See you in the exam tomorrow.” I was gobsmacked.

Never, in the history of revision, could this have ever happened before.

“You’re writing chemistry tomorrow?”

I asked. “And you’re fine with failing? You don’t need me to leave instantly?” Andreas looked perplexed as he closed the door. “I won’t fail,” he explained, as if to a small child, “because I’ve finished studying for that exam.” Again, this was unheard of.

Who finishes studying? One studies until the adjudicator rips the sweaty notes from your grasp and hands you the exam paper.

And you don’t entertain your new beau the night before. You study absolutely all night, with all the concentration you can muster, occasionally stopping to flagellate yourself with the whips of your own inadequacy.

I explained this to Dreas as patiently as I could, before offering to run out and tackle the note-borrower. And it was in a

series of such mutually puzzled moments that we fell in love.

So you can understand our sons’ amusement. Many’s the night I have praised them for simply remembering that they have exams the next day, while Andreas has been horrified that there should be any need to revise the night before at all.

Luckily, our boys have once again appeared to escape our best efforts at botching up their upbringing. “You and Dad aren’t so different,” said Joe to me conspiratorially after one of these interchanges. “At least together you’ve taught us that while you may study a bit each day, or study all in one go, there’s never any question of not studying at all.” I thought that was a perfectly lovely thing to say.

Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24.com, Parent24.com and Food24.com. She just made the deadline for this column.

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PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth

methods when her sons start writing exams.