Child Magazine | Joburg September 2011

J O H A N N E S B U R G ’ S b e s t gu i d e f o r p a r e n t s

chuck the

clutter

dress the part should play give way to fashion?

be invigorated

quick and easy tips

moms take time out

spring into www.childmag.co.za

September 2011

free

action

16 ways to get fit for a good cause

health

education

entertainment

My husband and I recently celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Our agreement is that we don’t buy gifts.

In fact, most years we can’t even remember the exact date of our wedding and have to call my mom-in-law to check. This year, however, my husband not only remembered, but he reneged on our agreement and bought me a present – a second-hand treadmill. By now all you psychologists out there are having a field day…

Regardless of your analysis, I was thrilled. I have done little to no exercise since Robyn was born nine years ago, and I have reached the stage when enough is enough; I have to exercise. Every second morning sees me up at 5am, heading for “the baby room” that now houses our makeshift gym.

I close the door, open the curtains, turn up Green Day as loudly as I can without disturbing my neighbour, who also greets the sunrise – but with prayer – and I run.

I am not a natural runner, but somehow I manage to keep going because I am tired of being tired, and tired of looking and

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feeling out of shape. But this time I am not getting fit for summer, I am getting fit for me, and I’m loving it!

So, this September, no matter what the weather is like outside, inside it feels like spring.

If you need a goal to get you going, turn to our resource on page 39 for fun ways to exercise and support a good cause. I’ve picked my event – I hope you do too.

Happy spring day.

If you love the magazine, you’ll love our website. Visit us at childmag.co.za

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za

monthly circulation Cape Town’s Child magazineTM 45 054 40 071 Durban’s Child magazineTM 52 233 Joburg’s Child magazineTM

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Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • lucille@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za Alys Suter • studio1@childmag.co.za Samantha Summerfield • studio2@childmag.co.za

Advertising Director

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

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To Subscribe Helen Xavier • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Helen Xavier • helen@childmag.co.za Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

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Joburg’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

Office address: Unit 5, First Floor, Bentley Office Park, cnr Rivonia and Wessel Rd, Rivonia. Tel: 011 807 6449, fax: 011 234 4971, email: joburg@childmag.co.za.

Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Joburg’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles, and other editorial content, are accurate and balanced, but cannot accept responsibility for loss, damage or inconvenience that may arise from reading them.

September 2011

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contents

september 2011 30 better late than never

Lucille Kemp asks parents, who are also students, how they cope

34 declutter!

10 upfront 3

a note from lisa

36 the skinny on eating disorders

children are becoming body conscious at a very young age. Angelique Serrao looks into this problem

10 not to be sneezed at

readers respond

is it just an allergic reaction or is it an asthma attack? By Anél Lewis

regulars

11 dad’s blog

experts give advice on how to organise your home. By Robyn Goss

health

6 over to you

our children make us proud when they start being responsible, says Marc de Chazal

8 wins 13 upfront with paul

12 reader’s blog

Paul Kerton reminds us that a car is not a playground

Gareth Davies compares dog training with raising a child

14 dealing with difference

features

Marina Zietsman shares the story of a young boy who has dwarfism

16 high fashion versus child’s play

a re we dressing our children in impractical clothes? Anél Lewis finds out

39 resource – fun philanthropy

Gillian Hurst compiled a list of sport events that raise funds for charity

19 mom’s away!

44 a good read

Donna Cobban speaks to a few moms who were bold enough to take a holiday without their children in tow

new books for the whole family

48 what’s on in september

22 state of affairs

66 last laugh

Sam Wilson discovered roller coasters among the European castles

why do husbands and wives cheat?

Paul Kerton investigates

26 a new baby makes four

(or more)

Joanne Lillie gives tips on how to introduce your new baby to your toddler

classified ads 60 family marketplace 62 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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September 2011

Johannesburg

Cape Town

Durban

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

Accessorize www.accessorize.co.za

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September 2011

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letters

over to you importance of taking responsibility

growing up too quickly Thanks for a great August issue. With all the things on offer for children, I sometimes feel sad that mine are grown up.

Bettie

in response to the article posted online: what teachers wish they could tell you This article needs to be circulated to all parents. As a teacher, there is nothing more frustrating than a rude parent who thinks their child is never in the wrong and one that undermines the teacher. As the saying goes: “There are no problem children, only problem parents.” I’m going to print this and put it up on our staff board. If I were the headmistress I’d include it in the next newsletter to parents.

Anonymous to read the article, visit childmag.co.za/content/ what-teachers-wish-they-could-tell-you

you that he is flourishing. His teacher cannot believe the change in him. I realize that this is going to be an ongoing lifestyle change, but I am happy that I did not resort to “conventional” treatment.

I am leaving this issue of Child magazine on the teacher’s desk, and I hope that in future she will not be so quick to jump to the ADHD conclusion. A little encouragement and guidance for all children will go a lot further than medication.

Andrea

best birthday bash ever give guidance, not medication Firstly, I would like to thank you for your wonderful magazine. I look forward to reading it every month. I have read the August issue with great enthusiasm as my son, who is seven, has concentration issues. He is also the youngest in his class; he only turns eight at the end of the year.

When my son’s teacher told me that he has ADHD, I was devastated. However, I was not going to put him on medication as she suggested. The teacher also continually told me that my son was a bright little boy and this confused me. I did a lot of research and through the help of a friend who had been in a similar situation, I opted to seek the advice of a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) specialist. He explained to me that my son is a visual learner, and this has changed the way in which we do homework. Now there is no more fighting and begging in this home, just a happy little boy.

I added omega-3 and omega-6 to my son’s diet and he has been taking supplements. I am pleased to tell

swimming lessons first I was three years old when my mother first got into the pool to drown-proof children. She worked at it for almost two years and, after months of research and attending numerous swimming courses, she developed her own method of teaching children to swim, starting them from the young age of six months.

Even though she has now retired, she still gets absolute joy from climbing into the pool with her four grandchildren and revelling in what she has been able to teach them.

From being the three-year-old who swam behind my mom at her first “job”, to now being a 32-year-old mom, I am fuelled by her passion. I spent many an afternoon after school watching her teach class after class. I knew that her method worked, but it wasn’t until I had my first child in 2008, that I really began to understand just how brilliant her approach is. My daughter started her “swimming career” in the bath on her first night home from hospital. She was not yet two when she could swim across the pool, coming up to breathe all by herself. Now I watch her, at the age of three, teaching her one-year-old brother to swim in the bath, and it is an indescribable pleasure.

I wish the public would realize the absolute necessity of taking their children to swimming lessons from a young age, with an instructor who is suitably qualified. As a generation of new parents, we are often bombarded by other child-stimulation workshops, but these are far outweighed by the benefits of swimming.

Not only are the children being stimulated during swimming lessons, but they are also being taught a life skill.

I want to emphasise that new parents need to think “swimming” before anything else.

Carmen Whelan-D’Arcy

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September 2011

I would just like to thank Child magazine and Acrobranch for the greatest birthday party my child has ever had.

I won a party a couple of months ago through your magazine and redeemed the prize recently. Wow. The children had the best time ever. I don’t know why I bothered to even put any eats out, as we never saw them come to the table. Acrobranch is fantastic and very professional in what they do. Thank you again.

Alison Rennison

turn it off!

I read a quote today that reminded me of a few important and inspiring things: “If you find you don’t have time to do the things you love most, turn off the TV”. I realized that I had very quickly gone from someone who didn’t even own a TV to someone with a DStv connection and a plasma screen, and that they consumed my evenings.

I thought back to all the times I had said to my friends, “since my baby was born, I never have the chance to read anymore” and that if I did get time to read, I just wasn’t using it. Then, I picked up my Child magazine and had a good laugh at a few of the articles. I actually felt as if I learnt something. Not only did a thing or two inspire me as a parent, but I also realized that the simple act of turning off the TV in the evenings, frees up a whole lot of hours for me to indulge in one of my favourite pastimes – reading.

Your magazine was a great place to start.

Nicole Stephens Follow us on Facebook and Twitter

write to us You can also post a comment online at

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters to: marina@

childmag.co.za

childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

We

reserve

the

right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

The Bill of Responsibilities for the Youth of South Africa (a pledge for learners) forms a large part of every child’s life. I have been teaching my students about their responsibilities, even though they are four and five years old. They are never too young to understand that they are responsible for the life they have and lead. We all signed our names to confirm that we understood and believed (in the bill), but younger students could draw a picture of themselves. Let’s encourage them from a young age to be responsible and to acknowledge the rights they are lucky to have.

Lucy

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September 2011

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wins

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up to the challenge

one-stop party shop

The much-anticipated Pediasure Toddler Sense Seminars, in association with TopTots, are being held countrywide in October this year. Join author and toddler expert Ann Richardson and her guest speakers for a morning of discussions on food, behaviour and development for toddlers. For more information about the day, visit toddlersense.co.za One Joburg’s Child reader stands a chance to win a double ticket to the seminar and a hamper from Metz Press, TopTots and Pediasure. Email us or post your details and mark it as “Toddler Sense JHB Win”.

Hedgehog Lane does the complete party setup at a venue of your choice.

They supply the décor, party packs, accessories, balloons, piñatas, linen and photoboards, as well as adult chairs, tables, gazebos, crockery and more. They can also sort out all your catering requirements, and source entertainers and birthday cakes. For more information contact Shirley: 072 469 3638 or info@hedgehoglane.co.za.

We have a deluxe party package, to the value of R3 000, to give away to one reader. Terms and conditions apply. Simply email your details to info@hedgehoglane.co.za and mark your entry as “Childmag Win”.

September 2011

bend me, shape me

keep rollin’

Adventure Boot Camp is an outdoor programme that offers fitness instruction, nutrition counselling and motivational training combined with fun and energising activities designed to help you reach your fitness goals. Each class is an hour long and includes abs and core training, Pilates, circuit training, weights, mat work, games and hiking. Contact: 021 447 2746, 082 567 2267 or visit AdventureBootCamp.co.za Four readers can win a three-day week, four-week boot camp, valued at R530 each. Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Adventure Boot Camp Win”.

Turn your child’s favourite pair of shoes into roller skates – just adjust the size to fit their shoes, strap on the skates and let them roll away. Roller Kidz Heel Skates are great for exercise and can be adjusted to fit adult shoes too.

Adults must weigh no more than 90kg. For a list of retailers that stock Roller Kidz Heel Skates visit rollerkidz.co.za Five pairs of Roller Kidz Heel Skates, valued at R350 each, are up for grabs. Simply email us or post your details and mark it as “Roller Kidz JHB Win”.

how to enter

congratulations to our July winners

Unless it is otherwise stated, emailed entries go to win@childmag.co.za and postal entries go to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Only one entry per reader is allowed and entries must be received by 30 September 2011.

Mpho Modipane and Christina De Matos who each win a Prima Toys hamper; Noori Pandor, Kevin Cupido, Tanya van Rensburg and Hayley Coelho who each win a Hush Clothing voucher; Bessie Sofos who wins a family getaway to The Cavern and Zandile Phuthuma, Sandor Pusztai, Sherylee McBride, Judi Dilchert and Roslyn Rampersadh who each win Mega Bloks.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

giveaways in september

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September 2011

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health

not to be sneezed at Your child is wheezing and struggling to breathe. Is it an allergic reaction or an asthmatic attack? ANÉL LEWIS finds out.

similar triggers n allergy is an abnormal immune reaction to an allergen, explains Prof Eugene Weinberg of the Allergy Diagnostic Unit at the University of Cape Town’s Lung Institute. If this reaction occurs in the nose or lungs, the body releases histamines and other chemicals, causing the mucous membranes to swell.

This may lead to a runny nose and streaming, itchy eyes, and heavy bouts of sneezing. About one in five people in South Africa have an allergy of some kind, says Weinberg. There are various types of allergies, but it is the nasal allergy that is related to, and often confused with, asthma.

Asthma is a chronic lung disease that affects the airways, making it difficult for someone to breathe. The small airways narrow and there is an inflammation of the membranes. There may also be an overproduction of mucous. Signs of asthma include a tight chest and wheezing, a dry cough and difficulty breathing. About 80 percent of all childhood asthma is diagnosed before the age of five and Dr Adrian Morris, a Cape Town-based

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September 2011

Spring can be an uncomfortable time for children who suffer from either condition, as both may be triggered by excessive pollen in the air. Other common causes include animal dander, mould, house dust mites, cockroaches and tobacco smoke. Both asthma and allergies tend to be inherited, and Weinberg says a child with a family history of hay fever, eczema or asthma is likely to develop an allergy. Asthma can also be triggered by a viral infection or environmental factors such as insecticides, a change in the weather, processed foods, extreme emotions and physical exertion. Children with asthma don’t have to avoid exercise, but they are advised to opt for activities requiring short bouts of energy.

Swimming is often recommended.

treatment Asthma can’t be cured, but it can be controlled. Reliever medications offer immediate relief for the symptoms, and usually last four to six hours, while controller medications prevent the onset of an attack. Both can be administered in tablet form, with an inhaler, syringe or nebuliser. Make sure your school knows that your child has asthma and takes

medication. Dr Mike Levin, writing for the National Asthma Education Programme (NEAP) based in Johannesburg, says asthmatics should also be aware of any possible allergies that could trigger an attack. A rare trigger in younger children could be certain foods, such as cow’s milk.

An allergy such as hay fever may be seasonal or more chronic. Hay fever can be treated with oral antihistamines or topical steroid nasal sprays. Weinberg says there is also a new treatment, using drops of the grass allergen, which can be placed under the tongue to desensitise a sufferer to the allergy.

famous asthma sufferers Rugby player Schalk Burger and Olympic gold medallist, swimmer Ryk Neethling.

useful contacts Allergy Society of South Africa 021 447 9091 or visit allergysa.org National Asthma Education Programme 011 643 2755 or visit asthma.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

allergy expert, says that more than half of affected children will outgrow the condition by their teens.

dad’s blog

my kingdom for a horse MARC DE CHAZAL’s daughter uses her initiative, and makes a few sacrifices, so that she can do something she loves.

i

grew up on a farm where I was lucky enough to have my own horse. Her name was Tess and she was blind in one eye, but she could run like the wind. The trick to avoid startling her was not to sneak up on her “wrong” side. I had great fun riding her until she was too old to be bothered with outback riding and preferred her pasture.

My daughter has now started horse riding lessons. The trick to avoid startling my bank account was simply to encourage her to finance the lessons out of her own pocket money – I have the guitar lessons covered already. But this financial commitment has not put her off in the slightest.

She’s done the maths and may likely plead for one parent-sponsored lesson over and above the lessons that she can afford. I will try my best to help her as much

as possible, given how much I enjoyed riding as a child.

So far, it looks as if she is a natural-born rider.

While horse riding may not be the cheapest extramural my daughter could have chosen; it’s better than having her hang out at the mall all weekend. I’m also grateful that she’s taken her own initiative, not only to find a good horse riding school just a short drive from home, but also by making a few sacrifices of her own to cover the cost of (most of) the lessons. I reckon the value of learning to budget from an early age is priceless.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

The value of learning to budget from an early age is priceless.

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Read more of Marc de Chazal’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za

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blog

basic training When it comes to raising pets and children, the same rules apply, says new parent and

a

s both a pet owner of two dogs, a four-year-old male Golden Retriever and a year-old female Labrador, and a new parent (of a seven-month-old little boy), I am really amazed at the similarities between training a pet and raising a child.

Many people will say that dogs are dogs and children are children, but in actual fact, as Cesar Millan always says, they are both young animals that require exercise, discipline and affection from their owners or parents.

Obviously some aspects of raising dogs and children differ, especially when the latter get a bit older, but the principles are the same. A dog or a child who is allowed free rein of the house will turn into a spoilt brat. Without boundaries, how will they learn what is acceptable behaviour and what is not?

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September 2011

Anyone who has watched Dog Whisperer or Supernanny will notice that it is almost always the pet owner or parent who causes the problems. Cesar and Jo Frost spend more time on their shows educating the caregivers than dealing with the dog or child.

For those who don’t believe me, tune into the Dog Whisperer on DStv and watch how Cesar handles problem animals. He remains calm and assertive at all times. Isn’t this something we as parents should strive towards? Sure it’s difficult when your little one throws a screaming tantrum in Woolies, but getting angry and upsetting yourself just makes things worse. If you remain calm, it makes the situation much easier to deal with.

Cesar advises dog owners to follow through when they want their pets to

do something. How many times have you asked your child to pack up their toys, only to see them strewn around the room an hour later? Every time you tell them to do it and they don’t, and you don’t enforce what you want done, they get the upper hand. And we all know, getting them to change their ways once they are in control is extremely difficult. If you had just enforced what you wanted from the beginning, there would be no problems.

Cesar asks all dog owners to exercise their pets daily. Do we do this with our children or do we plonk them in front of the TV when we want some time out for ourselves? If we don’t let them exercise at least once a day, their frustration builds, they don’t sleep well and they start acting up.

Of course, giving affection is a must for dogs and children, but what’s important is giving it at the right time.

Don’t do it when your child screams or throws a tantrum. Rather give affection when it’s really needed; after a fall or when your child is calm and receptive to a positive reinforcement of your love.

We could all improve our parenting skills if we stick to some dog training basics in the early years.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

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illustrationS: shutterstock.com / Nikki-leigh Piper

“child whisperer” GARETH DAVIES.

upfront with paul

car control PAUL KERTON reminds his daughters that a ride in his hallowed chariot is a privilege, and that there’s no place in it for smelly jelly.

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

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cleaned my car the other day. Well, I lie, I actually took it to Land Rover for something minor to be fixed and they cleaned it inside and out. It was spotless. I drove around all morning delighting at the shiny dashboard, sparkling wheel trims, zen-like interior and clear windscreen. Then I picked up my daughters from school.

Within five minutes, the car looked like a garbage truck. How do they do it?

Where did that sticky stuff come from? “Oh that’s smelly jelly,” said Sabina, before she gleefully threw it at the windscreen – splat! – sending a trillion globules of red sticky jelly throughout the entire cabin; oblivious to the fact that her ice lolly was melting from the bottom up and dripping over my nice clean upholstery. “What’s that? Oh no!” A topless

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red Koki was bleeding into the fabric. “You must put the tops back on,” I chided, as my nostrils were assailed by the most revolting smell. “Have you let one go?”

“That’s why it’s called smelly jelly,” said my dear mischievous daughter, grinning.

“Girls! We need to talk.” In a vain attempt to exact some discipline, I first tried to appeal to their aesthetic sense, explaining that the car is a vital means of transport with the accent on speed, comfort and safety and that it was not a good idea to have droplets of smelly jelly obscuring the sight of oncoming traffic.

“Sorry Officer, I didn’t see you flagging me down because of the red mist on the inside of the windscreen.” The car is not a playroom. But then again, it’s not as if I

can ban them from the car. What are they going to do – walk home?

When I was 11, I used to walk a kilometre from school to a train station, admittedly through a beautiful countryside, catch a train for three stops and then walk another kilometre home; mostly with other children, but often on my own.

I realise you can’t always do this in South Africa (you can’t in the UK anymore either) but this chauffeured lifestyle is incredibly privileged and hellishly time- and petrolconsuming, whether it’s me, mom or Gran doing the driving. It also breeds a false expectation of the real world. When they grow up, get jobs and start experiencing stress, they will be doubly shocked when they have to find their own way home. The

least they can do in the meantime is treat our hallowed chariots with some respect.

When we arrived home, they were both out of the car like pedigree greyhounds, leaving all their bags, books and rubbish behind. This was definitely not on and I brought them back to pick up every morsel of junk that was theirs. The new rule is: what you bring to the car you take away with you. Otherwise, minutes later, one of them will be screaming for her flipflops, only to find that they are under the passenger seat.

Now, how do we get rid of that smelly jelly? “Hello, garage? My brakes are making this horrendous squeaking noise...”

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad: A Man’s Guide to Fathering.

September 2011

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dealing with difference

we all start out small MARINA ZIETSMAN tells the story of a boy with

j

oshua is 10 years old and he dreams of becoming the first “little pilot” to soar our skies. His mom, Rachelle van Staden, tells him he can be anything he sets his mind to. Other people might give Joshua one look and whisper behind cupped hands: “It’s not likely”. And even though this plucky boy is used to people whispering about him, annoyingly trying to be circumspect, it does make him furious. You see, Joshua was born with achondroplasia, one of the most common forms of dwarfism.

Rachelle thinks back to the birth of her son by Caesarean section. “It was all very confusing. I was not aware that I was giving birth to a child with dwarfism. My gynaecologist did not detect it during my pregnancy and the staff at the hospital called it a ‘growth abnormality’.”

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September 2011

Shortly after Joshua’s birth, Rachelle’s marriage failed. She had to cope with a newborn, who at the time was undergoing tests and MRI scans, and she was mom to then seven-year-old Shane. She admits that for the next two years of her youngest son’s life she felt shock, numbness, hopelessness, denial and anger. “The most difficult part was caring for a child who others considered abnormal. I also struggled to understand this genetic disorder, when none of my or my husband’s family has a history of dwarfism. Shane couldn’t understand why his baby brother’s ‘head was so big’. I realised then that I’d have to educate myself about this condition to be able to accept it.”

The acceptance came after Rachelle completed a counsellor’s training course offered by SAIDA (The South African Inherited Disease Association). Empowered

by her knowledge, she started building a normal life for her family.

Shane, although baffled by his brother’s “big head”, soon realised Joshua was like any other baby: adorable, funny and full of energy. And as the pair grew older, Shane constantly felt the need to protect his younger brother. “I told Shane that God gave him his brother so that he could be Joshua’s hero and look out for him. This gave Shane’s confidence a huge boost.

Who wouldn’t want to be a hero?”

Initially Shane felt neglected when his sibling needed more attention (Joshua regularly has to undergo tests at the Red Cross Children’s Hospital), but with the help of family and friends, even this obstacle was overcome. Today Shane understands his role in Joshua’s life, and the two love spending time together

playing drums, something which Shane inspired in Joshua.

Joshua is a busy person, like any boy his age, despite his physical disadvantage.

And it takes a Herculean effort for someone like Joshua to try and lead a normal life, even if it simply means making people understand that he is normal.

Although Joshua does have medical problems common to children born with achondroplasia, his greatest battle is simply getting through everyday life.

“Joshua faced ridicule and teasing from ignorant children and adults from an early age,” says Rachelle. “I call them ignorant because they don’t know any better and they act that way because they don’t know how to treat people who look different from them.” Rachelle admits it affected the whole family. “I used to get very angry with people

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

dwarfism who manages to stand tall and dream big.

who stared or made insensitive remarks, but I had to teach myself not to get upset.

At first Joshua was unperturbed by these stares and whispers, but as he got older he couldn’t ignore it anymore.” The family adopted a motto: “these ignorant people are not part of our lives in any way”. Even Joshua embraced this dictum.

But when he started school, it was a big ask of him to stick to the family’s motto, which had come easy in the shadow of his mom’s protective presence. Joshua’s first year in school was tough academically, emotionally and socially, as the teasing gave him low self-esteem. The inevitable happened: being bullied caused Joshua to develop behavioural problems, and instinct turned him into a bully to defend himself.

Eventually Rachelle had to intervene by addressing the parents of Joshua’s classmates to explain his condition and how their children should treat him.

In Grade 1, Joshua was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and his mom removed him from his mainstream school and enrolled him in a special needs school. The fact that he has achondroplasia can unfortunately cloud perceptions of why Joshua attends this school.

Rachelle says that even though the decision to change Joshua’s school was

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difficult, she now knows she has done the right thing. “With the help of medication and specially-trained teachers, he is doing really well. But he is still being teased, and like any normal child he has learnt to defend himself.

He doesn’t back out of a fight though… a habit I’m still trying to get out of him.”

When Joshua is not fending off bullies, he lives a normal life. He swims, plays cricket and soccer and loves watching wrestling on television. He is also a talented artist who draws and paints, takes drama, dances to hip-hop music and plays drums in the youth band at church. Like most children he doesn’t want to be ridiculed or teased; he wants others to treat him as an equal, hang-ups and all.

American actor Peter Dinklage, who received outstanding reviews for his role as Finbar McBride in the 2003 film The Station Agent, and who has achondroplasia, sums it up: “Dwarves are [play] either all-knowing sages, fools or Frodo. This is the first time that someone of my height has been a romantic lead in a movie. It is crazy to think it has never been done before.”

But, director Thomas McCarthy did not create the McBride character with dwarfism in mind. He cast Dinklage because he is a good actor. Hopefully one day, Joshua will also realise that no dream is too big, even for someone with achondroplasia.

what is dwarfism?

Dr Michael Urban, a medical genetics specialist at Stellenbosch University and Tygerberg Hospital, explains: “Dwarfism is a term used to describe the appearance of people who are affected by one of the many ‘skeletal dysplasias’ – the medical term for genetic conditions affecting bone growth. Many different genes are involved in the control of bone growth, with different genes being important in different bones and in different components of a specific bone.” Urban says there are many possible genetic causes of dwarfism related to faulty functioning of different genes, and many of these will lead to specific patterns in external appearance or on X-ray.

As a rule, dwarfism is associated not only with significant short stature but also with disproportion in length between the limbs and the body.

genetics Achondroplasia most commonly occurs as an “autosomal dominant new mutation”, which means that couples with a child who has achondroplasia are unlikely to have another affected child, unless one of the parents themselves has achondroplasia.

treatment “The medical value of a specific diagnosis such as achondroplasia is that it allows one to anticipate particular health problems that occur more commonly, often at particular times of life,” says Urban. Medical monitoring can then be targeted towards, for example, breathing difficulties and spinal deformity in infancy, glue ear and leg curvature in childhood, spinal narrowing in adolescence, and a tendency toward obesity and arthritis in adulthood. In addition, a specific diagnosis allows one to distinguish conditions such as achondroplasia, in which there is a low recurrence risk for the couple’s future children, from those with a higher recurrence risk.

for more information or support: The South African Inherited Disease Association (SAIDA) visit saida.org.za Little People of South Africa littlepeopleofsouthafrica@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page: Little People of South Africa

September 2011

15

spotlight

high fashion

versus child’s play

Are we encouraging our children to grow up too quickly by dressing

equined tops, padded bras and high heel shoes – all fine in a women’s clothing store, but should you be able to buy these items in the children’s section?

Many parents say definitely not. But it seems as if finding appropriate, practical clothing for children is becoming increasingly difficult. Cape Town mother Debbie Hutton says she feels “disillusioned and nauseous” when she has to find outfits for her daughters aged five and nine. Both girls are big for their age, so she is already browsing in the teenage section. “Having to shop in the teenage department for a nine-year-old is challenging.

The clothes are impractical for the general day-to-day activities of that age, such as riding a bike, kicking a ball and rollerblading. High fashion and child’s play don’t mix too well.”

There is scientific evidence to back up Debbie’s concern. According to a study reported in the International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, inappropriate clothing was potentially a significant barrier to children’s outdoor play. In some cases, children avoided playing games because they had been warned “not to ruin”

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September 2011

their expensive outfits. Awkward outfits and unsuitable shoes, such as flip-flops, also hindered play. Liz Senior, a Johannesburg occupational therapist and founder of Clamber Club, says toddlers and young children will usually remove uncomfortable clothing if it bothers them while they play. Some schools have strict policies about clothing. The Royal Drakensberg Primary School warns parents that inappropriate clothing will be restrictive to children’s play and the New Beginnings Montessori School in Johannesburg advises against dresses, as they make climbing and sitting difficult for girls.

When it comes to choosing baby and children’s wear, parents agree that safety, practicality, durability, suitability and cost are among their main concerns.

safety Woolworths, a popular choice for parents looking for children’s clothing, says each garment in its range is scanned with a metal detector to remove potentially harmful items. The retailer only uses nickel- and ferrousfree metal trims, their press studs have been tested to

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PHOTOGRAPHS: Losevsky Pavel / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

them in trendy, and often impractical, outfits? ANÉL LEWIS reports.

Maybe we would spend less money on occupational therapy if our children were allowed to dress in such a way that encouraged them to play. ensure they are securely attached and any decorative trim is tested for safety and durability.

Jacadi, a brand of clothing for newborns to children 14 years old, and Okaïdi, which caters for children up to 12 years old, uses mainly 100 percent cotton, wool and denim for its clothing ranges. Both brands focus on the choice of fabrics, durability and practical style, says brand manager Nazreen Khota. Naartjie, which caters for babies and children up to the age of 10, describes its clothing as “rugged enough to endure long days of play, yet bright and colourful enough to reflect the playful, imaginative spirit of childhood.” Naartjie’s Esperanza Louw says the clothing is versatile and soft to allow for easy movement. “Children need to be children.” Their range, while stylish, is durable enough to withstand the rigours of the playground.

off the rack Megan Roberts, of Johannesburg, complains that she can’t find basic baby clothes. “You just don’t get plain babygrows past the age of six months anymore. Everything is so grown up, with frills and jeans for example. They are only small for a short time, why should we force them to grow up and wear adult clothes when they are so young?”

The biggest gripe for parents of older children, particularly girls, is the dearth of age-appropriate items. Philippa Byron, of Cape Town, shops regularly for her nieces, aged four and six. The older girl is tall for her age, so Philippa has to look

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for clothes sized seven to eight. “I’m really struggling to find clothes that are age-appropriate. It seems that when children pass six years old, they become teenagers, or adults in fact.”

Cape Town mother Nathalie Harper-Leblond says the clothing for small girls in the two to five year age group is unsuitable. “Their clothes are (mostly) synthetic, sequined, neon and branded. I do not want my two-year-old in a Bratz or Barbie outfit.” She is also concerned about the sale of padded bras for younger girls.

Debbie complains that one retailer has a six to 16-yearold clothing section. “Really? Do six-year-olds have anything in common with 16-year-olds? Do they need to dress the same? Maybe we would spend less money on occupational therapy if our children were allowed to dress in such a way that encouraged them to play.” Philippa agrees, saying that the grouping together of clothing for children and teenagers is “ridiculous”. She adds, “It bothers me that some clothes for seven-year-olds have sexy elements too.”

Debbie says retailers would stop stocking inappropriate children’s clothing if parents boycotted them. “Children grow up so quickly; too quickly in many cases. Can’t they just be children while they are children?”

Brett Kaplan, Woolworth’s group director of clothing and general merchandise, says the retailer relies on “regular customer feedback” and “insights from panels of parents” when it evaluates the appropriateness and

appeal of a range of clothing. “(We) try to ensure that children’s wear is age-appropriate and offers customers something to suit their needs and tastes.”

Louw says Naartjie strives to keep its clothing ageappropriate. “We never use black and we don’t do revealing outfits.”

September 2011

17

spotlight

brand overload

price watch

Debbie doesn’t let her girls watch the Twilight series, but then she has to stop them from wearing clothing emblazoned with their characters. Cape Town mother Zita Carmen Wicht says her “tomboy princess” does not want to wear Barbie clothing, but she struggles to find alternatives.

The same goes for boys who get to choose between Ben10, Spider-Man or wrestling motifs for most of their clothing. Kaplan says, “Variety is important as we serve a diverse spectrum of customers. Character branded clothing accounts for a very small percentage of our children’s wear catalogue.”

Parents tend to opt for cheaper clothing for everyday wear, especially if they have babies who are starting to crawl, and then splurge on better quality items for weekends or special occasions. As children grow so quickly, it often makes better financial sense to buy the basics at mainstream department stores. Nathalie says she used to balk at the prices of the clothing at some boutique children’s shops. “But I have discovered that their clothes wash and wear really well, plus the cut on their dresses means that as your little one gets taller, the garment becomes a T-shirt. So, despite being expensive, I reckon it’s worth it.”

shopping tips 1. Make sure the item can be easily put on and removed. For babies, look for items that don’t have finicky buttons and clasps. Toddlers and older children should be able to dress themselves with ease.

2. Consider the season. For summer clothes, make sure the fabric is loose fitting and breathable. Some retailers sell clothing with an SPF. Winter clothes should be warm but not too restrictive. Dress your baby or child in layers that can be removed as the temperature changes.

3. Will the item be comfortable to wear? While a frilly skirt may look great, it will not pass muster on the playground. Also make sure waistbands and sleeves are not too tight, to allow for free movement.

4. Think about safety. Avoid anything with buttons, zips or ties for infants and toddlers. Opt for fire-retardant and anti-pill fabrics.

5. Infants have especially sensitive skin. Choose hypoallergenic fabric where possible.

6. Sizing is important. While it may be cost-effective to buy clothing your child will “grow into”, buying something that is too big may lead to tripping or awkward play.

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September 2011

too much too soon?

Many parents feel that clothing with suggestive slogans should not be on the racks in the children’s section. Cape Town-based clinical sexologist Dr Marlene Wasserman says that while these items can contribute to the sexualisation of children, and should be objected to, it is up to the parents to instil self-esteem and body knowledge. “Then it really won’t matter what the girl wears. She will see it as fashion and not let it impact on her sexuality, positively or negatively.” Girls are also starting to develop at a younger age, which means they are buying bras much earlier. British retailers have been lambasted for selling padded and plunge bras for girls from the age of seven. In SA, shops sell padded bras, starting at size 28AA, with their clothes for young girls. While the onset of puberty may create a need for a padded bra, Wasserman says peer pressure and the media could be drivers.

They “feed into the girl’s need to feel grown up”.

However, she cautions against letting girls think they are only as good as their breasts, as is often portrayed in the media. If you don’t want your child to wear a padded bra, give considered reasons for your decision. But be aware of fashion trends. You don’t want her to feel as if she is the only girl in her circle without one, says Wasserman.

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my story

mom’s away!

You envied Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love, but would you be able to leave your

PHOTOGRAPHS: ilene grace / ashlea perrone / shutterstock.com

w

family to take a solo trip? DONNA COBBAN hears from three mothers who did.

hen I was about seven my father bought my mother a ticket to Bermuda for her 40th birthday – just the one ticket, for her to visit old friends. I was nervous and excited at the same time. Being without her was going to be hideous, yet eating her pre-prepared frozen meals and following her typed schedule made me feel grown up and ever so capable (even if I cried a little). I can still taste that trip – it sits at the back of my throat and when I’m feeling small and alone, at 40-something, I draw on that experience and remember that I rode the wave of her absence well and am now able to weather many of life’s dilemmas a little better because of it.

So I go in search of other mothers who have taken some time away. In this age of helicopter parenting, they are not easy to find but when I do, they have a wonderful life lesson for other mothers: sometimes we need a little time with ourselves to be the best parent we know how to be.

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Johannesburg-based single mother Ilene Grace’s son was four when a good friend invited her on a 10-day holiday to Sri Lanka.

Fortunately, Daniel was accustomed to being away from Ilene as he spent playschool holidays with her parents on their farm near Kimberley. Although he did not understand that Sri Lanka was much further away, their separation was nothing new for him. But for Ilene, who had been so deeply immersed in single parenting, the contrasts between the trip and her usual routine were stark. “You get to drive in a car without listening to Ed Jordan’s ‘Beautiful Creatures’, you stay up at night sitting at a cafè on the side of the road watching life go by. You read your own book on the plane as opposed to Adventures for Boys and you come back home, loving your child more than ever and knowing yourself again a little more than you did before you left.”

During her time away, Ilene called home only twice.

“I thought about Daniel every single day, but not in a pining and heartbroken kind of way. I missed him deeply and at times even wished that he was there with me to share in the experiences, but I was also ecstatic about not having to worry about routine

and food and how he would have coped with the gruelling hours spent in planes and taxis.”

Ilene has a strong opinion about taking time out. “Your children will grow up one day and you will still have to be you.

You cannot let your entire world revolve around them alone. You need time to remember yourself, feed your own needs. Once you teach yourself to let go a little, it is actually a really good feeling and better parenting is a by-product.” While reflecting on her adventure, which for any parent would undoubtedly also be an experiment at being apart from the family, Ilene has this to say: “Even though Daniel was always on my mind, there were times when I was so astounded by the beauty of the ancient ruins, the Buddhist temples and the statues that I lost myself completely. Those were the best days.”

sri lanka

September 2011

19

my story

india Ashlea Perrone, a Cape Town mother of two, restaurateur and part-time photographer, knows how busy life can be. She is devoted to her children and leaves her half-day job to shuttle, shop, cook and nurture them (a job that is often done solo as her husband runs the restaurant in the evenings). But Ashlea has consciously put the brakes on the speed at which life passes by. “Our children are only young for a very short period of time and as mothers, we also have to live our lives for ourselves, and not forget about who we are and what we really want out of our own lives.”

Ashlea’s trip, a brief two weeks in India with a treasured girlfriend, was her first in over 10 years. “When I first received the invitation my reaction was ‘No way, sorry, absolutely not possible.

My children, aged eight and six, are incredibly demanding and they need me’ – or so I thought.” But with her husband’s blessing, a five-page schedule of extramurals, parties and appointments set up for the family and the added bonus of visiting Italian grandparents who could help, she left for India.

Ashlea’s initial feelings of guilt were intense and the physical act of driving

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September 2011

to the airport was one of the most difficult things she had ever done. “I kept wondering if I was actually going to be able to go through with it,” she recalls.

But thankfully she did. With each passing day in sunny Goa, with its warm ocean and relaxing beach massages, Ashlea felt a change; an unfurling of the self. “I had, for the past eight years, closed myself off from myself, and focused on bringing up my children in the best way I thought possible. But I wondered if this had been to my detriment and to theirs?”

Ashlea chose not to contact them too often. “I felt that it would make our distance apart worse for them, and definitely for me. Somehow, I couldn’t help feeling far removed from reality back home.”

But coming home was “nothing short of amazing”, she says. “Every second felt like a lifetime until I finally got to hug and hold my beautiful children and was able to finally say, ‘I’m home!’.” Within a few hours, life was back to its predictable routine, yet Ashlea felt different for two reasons. “I had that ‘had a great holiday’ feeling, which is still with me, and I had the experience of seeing my children and appreciating them all the more after some time apart.”

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Belinda Overend like Ilene, was also a single mother, but like any parent, married or not, she was delighted at the offer of some time away. Belinda, also from Johannesburg, had recently ended a demoralising and isolating relationship, she had co-leased an apartment with her best friend’s brother and was working at increasing her earning power. “I worked harder and longer hours than my team mates, and juggled debt like a professional circus act; terrified that I would lose the only income that was keeping a roof over our heads. My children were starting to notice that they were different and didn’t have the everyday luxuries that other children had in ‘regular’ households – this left me desperately sad and feeling totally inadequate.”

Belinda’s sister, who lives in Santa Barbara in the United States, offered to fly her over for a break, but her company refused to give her leave.

Belinda was devastated. “Perhaps I was at the end of the barrel at the time, but I knew deep down that it was time to trust myself and put my needs first.

So I resigned without a clue about what I was going to do. I decided that I was going to go overseas for three weeks and I’d just have to figure it out – I let go of the fear.”

This was going to be the first time Belinda was away from her children for longer than a day and she was understandably nervous. “I definitely suffered much more separation anxiety than they did.” Fortunately the children’s father had recently moved back to Johannesburg from Durban and he agreed to have them – it all seemed to fall into place. Armed with

a bunch of photos of the children, Belinda set off for a three-week holiday that included a visit to Santa Barbara, camping in San Felipe in Mexico and a week in San Diego.

“The first week I felt awful. I had a pretty tight, co-dependent relationship with my children and being young when I had them, I didn’t really have the freedom to do much more than be a mom – a job I took, and still take, quite seriously. So I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with myself. I pined for them daily but my sister kept me occupied. We went out to restaurants, met up for lunch when she had to work, had dinners with her friends, did girlie things, watched movies, went to the beach with the dogs and just generally mooched about enjoying the familiarity of family. By being able to not do anything of mindblowing importance, with no financial implications or responsibilities, I was truly spoilt rotten.”

Belinda went on to scuba dive, horse ride, play fireside scrabble and drink Margaritas. She recalls a wonderful night when, while sitting under the light of a full moon overlooking the Sea of Cortez, she “fell in love with life again”. Realising that she was only 30 and perhaps didn’t need to take life so seriously, she also acknowledged that she was still desirable. She conceded that adult company and conversation were engaging and long overdue. “I had to build more of that into my life. I came home a different person – renewed, invigorated and determined to give my children the best of what life has to offer.”

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September 2011

21

spotlight

state of affairs Why do husbands and wives cheat?

i

t is not that difficult to notice that your partner is having an affair. There is a not-so-subtle change in behaviour, which may range from extra grooming and new “friends” (who happen to be in town tonight only) to very late business meetings. Underwear suddenly becomes far sexier (for her) or cleaner and with no holes (for him). The guilty person will hurriedly log off the internet, whisper into their cellphone, change a favourite brand of cigarette or perfume and alter their speech patterns.

Derek*, 25, a film set designer in Cape Town, explains his revelation. “She started coming out with two phrases

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September 2011

that we never used: ‘Go figure’ and ‘Born up a tree’ instead of bon appetite at the start of a meal. She thought it was hilarious. Then we bumped into this guy she knew who said the same thing, in exactly the same tone, with the same half-chuckle at the end. As he said it, she looked at me as if she’d just stabbed me through the heart by accident. In a nanosecond, it was all over.”

When suspicions are raised and alarm bells ring, what you choose to do about it is a tussle between head and heart. Ex-Mrs Jagger, Jerry Hall says, “There is nothing more humiliating than loving someone so much that you

forgive the infidelities.” Whatever your personal opinion or experience of the affair – as a harmless diversion or a family-destroying disaster – be sure that there is always some collateral damage.

why have one?

The big question is, why do husbands and wives cheat on each other? The obvious answer: “because they can” is far too simplistic. There are motivations, emotions and elements that push even the most loyal among us to stray, but the argument “when one or the other’s needs are not

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illustrationS: shutterstock.com / nikki-leigh piper

PAUL KERTON investigates.

met”, is the best starting point. In His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (Revell), Willard F Harley lists 10 emotional needs that we all crave. Women’s needs are fundamentally different from men’s. While he needs physical attraction, admiration and sexual fulfilment, she is more inclined towards affection, financial support, honesty and openness. The discrepancy between the sexes is fuel for various degrees of friction. Harley advocates

sensed what was happening, he cut off her “allowance” and literally kicked her out. They are still fighting over the children, and the Merc, three years later. Penny Mansfield, director of the UK marriage centre One Plus One, notes that, “The tension that most of us live with is that we marry on the basis of romantic love, which rarely lasts, and once that diminishes and domestic drudgery sets in, our expectations are shattered.”

Whatever your personal opinion or experience of the affair – as a harmless diversion or a family-destroying disaster – be sure that there is always some collateral damage. concentrating on each other’s needs instead of our own – difficult for some, impossible for most.

For Jenny*, 37, who enjoyed a privileged “Sandton lifestyle”, her problem was that she had no voice. “The relationship orbited around his importance, his job, his money, his everything. I had a seemingly envious lifestyle (a Merc, clothes from St Germain, tennis on Tuesday, riding on Wednesday…), but I was desperately unhappy and starved of affection and conversation. I woke up one morning and changed my life. I stopped being his servant and went out determined to meet somebody new, and did.” And thus began a torrid affair. When her husband

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Children do make sex difficult. Quite apart from the perennial parental excuse of “too tired”, there is the question of logistics. Gone are those exciting blue-movie moments of impromptu coupling. Sex becomes restricted, reduced to a quick under-the-covers, covert operation. Good for moles, not so good for passionate couples. Cape Town therapist, Natalie Edkins, reminds us of the common reflex of “splitting” where the man divides women into “Madonnas” and “whores”. “He no longer sees his partner as a sexual being, but as the nurturer and custodian of his child’s life – the “Madonna”. So, he looks for release elsewhere – often not anywhere he is proud of, with the “whore” – completely oblivious to his own partner’s needs.”

There is no doubt that the majority of women, and many men, naturally lose interest in sex during pregnancy and after the birth of a child. For men, it’s the realisation that he has been relegated to the back of the queue when it comes to love, affection and attention. Durban-based horticulturist Terence*, 35, says he felt invisible after his baby was born. “I couldn’t handle the mundane baby routine. It’s bad, I know, but I started working late and going out drinking with friends; anything to avoid going home. I hit it off with an intern at work and saw her about three times a week until the baby was walking. It felt awkward, but met my needs.”

September 2011

23

spotlight

As harried parents pass each other in the kitchen, they forget what brought them together in the first place. “Parenthood is swallowing marriage in that children have become the only focus,” says Pamela Haag in her new book Marriage Confidential, (Harper) where she defines the concept of a “semi-happy marriage”. Certainly, when partners lose that initial frisson and mutual respect, they stop communicating and caring and, more importantly, sharing a future goal together.

When a partner suddenly feels taken for granted, unloved and unappreciated; those negatives mount until “Bang!”, somebody arrives who finds you attractive, listens to what you’re saying and is tactile and affectionate. Suddenly you’re sitting across a table sharing a bottle

men and 40 percent of women would. While the statistics vary, there is consensus that married men cheat more than married women. Is this because women aren’t as interested in being unfaithful or is it that they are simply better at concealing it?

The statistics rise even more when you have a group of men or women on the loose, like at a conference, which creates a Petri dish for misbehaviour. The recipe is intoxicating: being away from home, a five-star location and a bed the size of a football field, expense account dinners, rivers of free booze, and more importantly, colleagues of similar age and circumstance who have the same things at stake. Plus there is that unwritten credo: “what happens at conference stays at conference”.

The tension that most of us live with is that we marry on the basis of romantic love, which rarely lasts, and once that diminishes and domestic drudgery sets in, our expectations are shattered. of Chardonnay with someone who doesn’t dribble or posset, or need a bib, and can hold a decent conversation. The attention is flattering, the conversation is refreshing and the sexual energy is doubly alluring. The parent emerges from their domestic smog. He is interesting; she is interested.

We forget to separate children’s time from adult time. Crikey, you’ve been ferrying them about all day, cooking them meals, buying them clothes and helping with their projects; you deserve your “you” time. But there is always something else to do. Often, it takes a stranger to point out the obvious. When you are in the middle of this domestic frenzy you find yourself wondering: is everybody else feeling like this?

not getting caught Needs and emotions aside, not getting caught is a major driver when considering an infidelity. Ask 10 men and 10 women whether they would have an affair with a dishy member of the opposite sex if they thought they would get away with it, and eight out of 10 men will say yes, while five out of 10 women will. The rest are probably lying as global statistics overwhelmingly show that 85 percent of

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September 2011

Situations where a flirtatious woman with attractive assets confronts a man do frequently arise. He may be flattered by the attention, and he will need to be strong-willed to say no. “I went to afterwork drinks with a few colleagues and this woman was in my face,” says Denzil*, an architect with a young wife and child.

“She literally wouldn’t leave me alone.” His defence of “What could I do?” sounded pathetic as he hurriedly showed me photos of a very attractive woman. His inference was, what would I have done if she had slobbered all over me? It sounds lame, but men really are weak.

avatar affairs For some who are too scared, too tired or too busy to have a real affair, technology provides for what has become known as the “avatar affair”, where the man or woman is unfaithful only in spirit; either through suggestive messages or interaction on online dating sites and chatrooms. These are places where they can live out a virtual, and often very erotic, fantasy without meeting or touching, or breaking their partner’s heart. Harmless fantasy? Perhaps, but just remember to clear your computer’s memory before you fix the children’s packed lunches and go to bed. magazine joburg

how to affair-proof your marriage 1 Start adult time earlier, like lunchtime perhaps.

2 Go out on dates (with each other) at least one night a week. Don’t talk about the children. Whoever talks about the children first, pays.

3 Remember to have sex (tonight). Sex is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you do it the more you want to. Stop doing it and you just make up excuses for not doing it.

4 Encourage the children to play on their own. They don’t always have to be supervised.

5 Buy each other presents or a treat. This doesn’t have to be a pair of Bulgari earrings or La Perla underwear (well not always). It’s the thought that counts.

6 Spend more time together. Modern life is so hectic we tend to “tandem parent”, so that one parent is always with the children but both parents are never together. Go somewhere special together for part of the weekend, once a month at least.

7 Remember to touch each other. Be tactile and affectionate. Let your partner know that you know they are there, however brief the encounter.

8 Carry a baseball bat (only joking).

not always according to plan An affair is flattering, dangerous, wicked and naughty – all of those quasi-fantasies suddenly spring to life. Yet having an affair doesn’t always go according to plan. As in any relationship, there is ebb and flow; good and bad. It is hard work, as it takes a serious amount of scheming, lying and cheating which, in reality, most people don’t enjoy or find easy to do. Trying to fit it in with a tight business schedule, busy home life and in a place as small as South Africa, is incredibly stressful. At some point, the excitement fades and reality sets in, causing many to reflect on what they had and what they stand to lose. Often this is the tipping point in favour of a return to the nest.

“At first it was great fun and very erotic,” says Sandra*, 32, a Cape Town interior designer and mother of three boys, “but it very quickly turned from exciting to, well, almost a chore. I started thinking twice about meeting, felt terrible about lying and was conscious of special family moments I was missing. I realised that what I had (with my husband) wasn’t that magazine joburg

bad. I sensed that my boys knew and were disappointed in me. The look on their little faces broke my heart.” A recent American study of 8 000 middle-aged divorced respondents concluded that divorcing a spouse is so stressful that it often causes permanent physical damage, even for those who go on to have happy second marriages. The divorced not only suffer a higher level of depression, but 20 percent more of them develop chronic health conditions such as cancer, heart disease or diabetes with 23 percent developing problems with mobility.

I’d say most of us, certainly those reading this magazine, honestly wouldn’t be in a marriage if we weren’t attracted to our partner, didn’t believe in it as an institution, didn’t love our children, and didn’t want to make it work and have a rich and fulfilling life together. You can spend forever looking for that kernel of ultimate excitement we all crave, but essentially the trick is to provide for it in the relationship you already have. *Names have been changed September 2011

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parenting

and new baby

makes four (or more)

Is the thought of introducing your new baby to his sibling giving you sleepless nights? JOANNE LILLIE offers tips to ease your anxiety – and your increased workload.

before baby arrives Expanding your family is exciting and a cause for great joy, but it won’t be without its ups and downs. The trick in your last few months and weeks of pregnancy is to plan ahead and prepare yourself and your older children for the adjustment.

• Dealing with guilt Ravaged by guilt about sharing yourself with another? Your first child is probably not too bothered by your divided attention. “Toddlers have other agendas, like collecting sticks and stones and playing make-believe games, and are pretty easily distracted so not as dependent on you as your newborn is,” says Ann Richardson, parent coach and author of Toddler Sense (Metz Press).

• Do some explaining If your toddler is under the age of four, adopt a low-key attitude about the forthcoming arrival; she is still too young to understand the concept of pregnancy. A preschool child understands more, so about three to four months before the baby is due, tell her about the birth (she will most likely be asking questions about the size of your tummy by now), but don’t go overboard with too much detail unless she asks. Assure her that having another baby will not affect how much you love her.

“I found that reading a book to my two-year-old daughter was helpful. I explained that I was going to hospital, and tried to keep it exciting and fun,” says Samantha du Plessis, stay-at-home mom to Chloé, two, and Alice, one month. (See box on page 33 for a list of books.)

• Plan ahead Get organised in advance with precooked meals, an online grocery delivery service and a stocked pantry.

• Involve your toddler Get them to help you shop for and set up the nursery; it will make her feel involved. It’s

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September 2011

important to make the arrival of a new baby exciting and positive for the whole family. Refer to the new arrival as “our” baby.

at the time of the birth The initial meeting may well influence how your first child feels about and reacts to his sibling. It’s important to accommodate his feelings.

• Hospital visits There are two distinct schools of thought on whether to have your toddler visit you in hospital or not. Some say it will be traumatic for you to disappear for two or three days without your child knowing where you are. Johannesburg childcare consultant and parent coach Stephanie Dawson-Cosser suggests: “Take your toddler on a tour of the hospital and explain that this is where mommy is coming to have the baby, then let her visit you there. This way the building is familiar, it normalises going to hospital and it’s not something to be feared.” Others argue that it is more traumatic for a small child to have to say goodbye to you when visiting hours are over. “He may not understand why you can’t come home with him, or why he can’t stay with you. This unnatural separation

can cause distress. You have such little time with your precious newborn before going home to ‘face the music’, it is a special time to bond with your new baby without distractions, so use it fully,” says Richardson. A toddler is also unnecessarily exposed to germs in hospital. As long as he’s happy and content in his home environment, with a predictable routine and plenty of emotional support, he should take your absence in his stride.

• The moment of meeting Whether at home or in the hospital, when your older child sees you and the new baby for the first time after the birth, you should not be holding the baby. Rather focus all your attention on your first child; greet her warmly and hug and kiss her as usual.

• The power of gifts “I had a gift for my older child, Caylyn, for each day she came to visit at the hospital. This was a real hit and to this day she still remembers what her brother gave her when he was born. It made all the ‘ooing’ and ‘aahing’ over him go unnoticed and she didn’t act up during the visits. She wanted to hold her brother, which we allowed, and this made a difference for her,” says Jacqui Fincham, Cape Town environmental consultant and mom to Caylyn, four, and Patrick, two.

Find some time each day for her. A special outing alone with your first-born or an activity of her choice goes a long way to making a small child feel secure.

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

hen contemplating the arrival of our second baby, my husband and I found ourselves besieged by a host of anxieties quite unlike those we had felt at the birth of our first. Least of our concerns were the actual birth and whether we’d know what to do. Our fears now centre on how to manage two different routines, and how to make our means and our love stretch to two. Is it possible to love another child as much as we love our first?

Fortunately, help is at hand. Here, experts and moms offer tried-and-tested solutions.

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bringing baby home Arriving home after the birth is when most moms find the challenges really begin. It’s important to keep things as normal and as calm as possible – the whole family will benefit. And don’t be shy to ask for help.

• Routine is your friend Sticking to your toddler’s routine scrupulously makes the whole family feel more secure. It’s best to fit the baby’s routine around the toddler’s.

• Don’t give in It’s normal to worry about having enough time, energy and love for another child, so don’t fall into the trap of over-compensating by allowing your toddler to always get her own way.

• Find special time The best way to reassure your first-born and reinforce your love is to find some special time each day for her. A special outing alone with her or an activity of her choice goes a long way to making a small child feel secure. Having her own-age friends over to play is another great idea, as the focus is on her.

• Little helper, not little mommy Your child will help as much as he can, within the bounds of what feels comfortable for him. Allow special time for him to be a child – to do child-ish things. There are other times to be a helper. “It’s important that he isn’t always referred to as “big brother”, let

Put together a little box of age-appropriate wrapped goodies for your toddler and keep this in the baby’s room… when you are busy with the baby and can’t attend to your toddler, choosing a surprise will keep her busy so you can finish what you are doing.

• Keep “no” to a minimum Try to avoid making interactions between toddler and the baby negative by saying “no” too often. If you’re always saying, “don’t touch the baby”, your toddler will cotton on that touching the baby gets your attention and will continue to do it. It’s a good idea to let your older child hold the baby in a safe situation (sitting in an armchair, for example) that you can supervise. If your toddler isn’t interested, encourage participation but don’t force it.

• Dealing with jealousy Your older child might not have the vocabulary to express himself, but this doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling angry, jealous or betrayed. Help him name his emotions, for example: “I know you are feeling cross because Mommy is busy with the baby.” Jealousy is quite normal at this age. Show him safe ways to vent – like digging a deep hole in the sandpit or going outside with you to shout as loud as he can, suggests Dawson-Cosser.

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him be himself. Be careful of giving labels as this is an important time for his sense of identity,” explains Dawson-Cosser.

• When you don’t have time to play Mothers-of-two (or more) become the ultimate multi-taskers. Try reading to your toddler while breast-feeding the baby, for example. Or while you’re cooking, introduce a kitchen cupboard that can be unpacked.

• Get a goodie box “Put together a little box of age-appropriate, wrapped goodies for your toddler (for example a small box of Smarties or a toy bottle), and keep this in the baby’s room,” suggests Richardson.

When you’re busy with the baby and can’t attend to your toddler, let her choose a surprise. “The process of choosing and unwrapping will buy you some time to finish what you’re doing,” she says.

• Coping with the extra workload Use every bit of help offered. Turn off your phone when you’re resting and limit visitors to a specific time of the day. If you have a granny or a nanny on standby, make lists of magazine joburg

Try not to be Superwoman. Remind yourself that you can let go of some things (like housework). At this time the main thing is adjusting to your children. tasks for them so that you can give yourself and the children the attention you all need to adjust.

• Regression sessions Expect a regression in your toddler’s behaviour. She may demand a bottle or dummy again, or start wetting her bed. Keep calm, give her what she asks for, and know that it will pass with time, suggests Richardson.

• Sharing: yours versus mine Usually toys and clothes that your first child has outgrown can be tucked away after she’s stopped using them and brought back for the new child without an issue. But if there’s a “that’s mine” reaction, introduce the item in the context of belonging to the family, for use at a certain life stage, says Dawson-Cosser. Say: “when you were a baby you used this; now you are a big girl, and it’s the baby’s turn to use it”. This technique depends on the child’s ability to understand negotiation. If the gap is very close, you might need to give each child time with the item.

“I asked my daughter to help me select some of her old things that she was too big for, so that the new baby could use them.

If the child willingly gives them up herself, they don’t feel they are being deprived,” says Lisa Lait, a Johannesburg-based marketing manager and mom to Robyn, five, and Rowan, three.

• Business as usual Quite often, a second child arrives as the first is learning to use the potty, or starting playschool. Keeping things

as much the same as possible at the time of the birth helps a child to feel more secure.

“You don’t want a child to feel they are being sent away because there is only space for the new baby in the house,” says Lait.

• Brief your visitors When visitors arrive to see the new baby, let her show them to the nursery, and allow her to help open the baby’s gift, this way she will feel included.

“I asked friends who came to visit at home to please ask permission from Robyn to see her little brother when they arrived and this worked really well,” says Lait.

• Don’t forget Dad Look after your relationship with your partner – remember that you are in this together.

• Happy you, happy babies It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed. Your mental health is extremely important while parenting. “Try not to be Superwoman.

Be aware of perfectionism, and remind yourself that you can let go of some things (like housework). At this time the main thing is adjusting to your children,” says Dr Alison Sampson, a Durban-based clinical psychologist with an interest in maternal mental health. She recommends regular exercise and lots of social contact to manage stress and anxiety. If you are battling to sleep when the children sleep, or you have frightening thoughts, it may be time to talk to your doctor, a psychologist, or contact the Postnatal Depression Support Association (visit pndsa.co.za).

reading list • • • •

aby Brother/Baby Sister by Felicity Brooks (Usborne) B Big Sister/Big Brother by Marianne Richmond (Sourcebooks Jabberwocky) There is Going to be a Baby by John Burningham (Walker Books) There’s a House Inside my Mummy by Giles Andreae (Orchard)

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better late than never Going back to school when you have children is a scary thought but LUCILLE KEMP finds

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ight years ago, the then 36-year-old Camilla Brown* completed her full-time studies in social work at the same time as I graduated. While being a student, Camilla was also mom to a young son, and married to a man who incidentally was my English professor. She, in all her mature confidence, entered our student lives and became the undisputed life of the refectory.

However, before becoming the vivacious student we all loved, Camilla was stuck in a job that bored her to tears, and there was a void in her life that needed to be filled.

Her sense of self was fading – the only way she could define herself was as Bruce’s* wife and Bradley’s* mom and this was simply not enough for her. It was a case of “get your degree now or face being a secretary for the

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rest of your days”. Although she got free tuition, thanks to her husband’s position at the university, they struggled financially without her second salary. Still, Camilla’s life and her relationship with her family, has changed forever and her work is now a big part of who she is. Being a social worker was always something she was meant to be. She just started later in life.

get by with a little help If the idea of studying is niggling at you, decide what you want to do and how you want to do it, or whether you are able to do it. As a parent, correspondence learning is often the most realistic option. It provides flexibility to let you learn in your own time while allowing you to keep

your full-time job, but then you need to apply yourself and consistently be putting in the hours. However, if you need instruction to learn, you’ll have to consider attending classes rather than going through correspondence. Then again classes, if there are no night courses available, will chew into work time resulting in a loss of earnings, and can you afford that?

Delia Strondl, a Johannesburg-based registered counsellor who did her internship at UNISA, says that ideally a studying parent should aim to work half-day, flexi-hours or arrange to work from home, if the company is amenable. For this, you should make sure you are financially stable enough to be able to take time from work to study. She suggests that you take your studying into

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

out that it’s not impossible if you’re prepared.

account when planning your budget: a pay cut coupled with the expense of books may mean that birthday presents and holidays need to be a little smaller. As they say: nothing worth having comes easily.

Strondl also emphasises “time”, saying that many parents decide to do it all. “The thinking is that they will work during the day, be a parent after work and study when the children go to bed.” Debbie Loots studied art part-time through UNISA, held down a job and was a single mom to twin daughters.

But this juggling act meant that the studying process, which was sporadic and somewhat drawn out, took her 20 years to complete. Clint Allen, head of MBA learning support

at the Graduate School of Business at the University of Cape Town (UCT) says, “The studying parent that battles is primarily the one without a strong support system, and

Once Debbie remarried and her third daughter Mila was two years old, she was able to realise her dream and start studying art full time at UCT’s Michaelis Art School.

Her husband steps in to help with practical issues, such as school pick-ups and cooking, when possible and when she is doing exams, which has made all the difference. As for most parents, full-time study may not have happened for Debbie without the help of a second set of hands.

Lucille Roberts, single mom to a 12-yearold girl, is a seasoned student and is currently studying for the Executive MBA at UCT’s Graduate School of Business. She says, “You need to have a schedule with clear deadlines and deliverables.”

Like any life stage, becoming a student again requires patience, support and the confidence to know that somehow it will get easier.

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the one who does not make time in their schedule for themselves. They attempt to be everything to everyone that they had been prior to commencing their studies.”

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Perhaps this means selecting a realistic number of modules per year as too many could be de-motivating. Also, speak to your support network in advance and discuss things such as how much money needs to be put aside for fees and course material, when your exam times are and when you will not be available. Chris Ellis, dad to a threeyear-old boy and four-month-old girl, is doing his postgraduate diploma in financial planning via correspondence through the University of the Free State. He can’t thank his wife enough, “who understands when I

people in her support structure who make sure that her daughter gets to and from school when she is busy with lectures.

“Unlike many of my colleagues, who have a partner who can assist, I have to ask for help from those around me.”

balance Despite all the help Chris gets to lighten his load, things are not always harmonious.

During exam time, his hectic work schedule and lack of sleep, caused by having young children as well as late night

The success rate of parents doing their MBA, for instance, is no different from those who have no children. spend five days a week at work, and then for six weeks before the exams spend Saturday and Sunday studying there too”.

Chris knows this is heavy going because for almost two months, his wife is effectively a single parent. Fortunately, Chris’s support system extends beyond the home as his company encourages and pays for staff to study, and sets up lecturers for them.

If, however, you don’t have the help of a partner (or the company you work for), you are allowed to cast the net in another direction. Johannesburg-based psychologist Liane Lurie says, “Parents often widen their support structure, enlisting the help of extended family or friends with children of a similar age. They lend a hand with lifts, homework and availability in case of emergencies.” Being a single mom, Lucille is grateful for the

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studying, leave him “feeling and looking like a zombie”.

Expect to get there slowly. Lurie says you shouldn’t be surprised if you’re battling to balance academic commitments with domestic expectations, or you’re feeling that you’re missing out on aspects of your child’s development or the financial burden is weighing too heavy. “Like any life stage, becoming a student again requires patience, support and the confidence to know that somehow it will get easier.” Also, you should know when to take it easy. Chris says that key to his sanity is that he knows when to put the books away and switch off.

make work, work for you Pick your study times based on when you are at your most productive. Strondl feels that while you think you’re being smart magazine joburg

by keeping evenings for studying “this is generally when your brain is shutting down for rest”. If you have a partner, this is the time you would spend with them and replacing them with a book is unlikely to be well received. Guilt and resentment are bound to creep in. Sherry Walklett of the Executive MBA learning support at UCT’s Graduate School of Business says this can be remedied by negotiating with your partner, family and friends and by not reneging on the deals you have struck.

Many work for a few hours each morning or late in the evening, others study for a longer period on a Saturday, keeping Sunday free to spend with family.

For Lucille, this has been a huge challenge. “My course is a constant thing, so I have to work on assignments every day, which is tough because I give up lots of time with friends and family. I have to be aware of making time to spend with my daughter.” Lucille evidently has the time because she is meticulous about her schedule. “Plan, prioritise, execute and balance the things in your life, which means deciding what you can do and not trying to do everything.” Strondl also emphasises the need for preparation saying, “Stress is merely an indication that you are not on top of things. There will always be things that pop up, that you could not have planned for. However, the only way to keep stress to a minimum is to ensure you have a plan in place, which is communicated to key people in your life.”

Chris is all about the plan, he tells me.

“As a carefree, single student leaving things to the last minute was okay because you knew you could close your door and ignore the outside world when the time came [to knuckle down]. But with children, you are always in demand and you never know what could happen in the last few days before the exam. Even though finding the motivation can sometimes be impossible, you must have a plan from the outset of what work

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needs to be done. Even if it’s just reading documents, start as early as possible.”

Allen believes the recipe for success is just as much about self-reflection and honesty as it is about applying your planning and time-management skills.

be in it to win it When the academic pressure mounts, and it will, stress in some part becomes inevitable. But it doesn’t have to suck you under. To reduce stress, Lurie believes in balancing work, study and leisure activities.

Chris goes for regular vitamin B injections, and Debbie initially jokes that she juggles things with the help of “pills”. But, then she says, “No, I try to stay active with gym and cycling and I am mature enough to realise what is most important. So when it comes to the crunch, my studies come second.” Strondl also believes that getting enough sleep and eating healthily is crucial to being at your best. Unfortunately, these are often the first things we neglect when we are pressed for time.

a word from the wise Allen assures me that parents who study are not at a disadvantage. “The success rate of parents doing their MBA, for instance, is no different from those who have no children.” He has noticed, however, that women who are studying parents take more strain than men do because they are still usually the primary caregiver. So, to drive the point home – enlist the help of a dedicated partner, an extended family support network (extended family includes good friends) or a good childminder.

With all this to consider, Lucille still describes the hard work of being a student as a fabulous journey and Debbie thinks it’s the best gift you can give yourself and your family; which tells me that while being a studying parent is not easy, it’s definitely worth it. *Names have been changed

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declutter!

Controlling mess is a problem for many of us. ROBYN GOSS asks the experts for their top spring-cleaning tips to keep the chaos at bay. before you start • Make a list of all the areas that frustrate you the most and start organising there, says Tracey Foulkes of Get Organised.

• Try to make your organising fun – play music, challenge yourself to beat the clock or ask someone to help.

• Start with an end picture in mind. Do you want a minimalist-style environment or would you like to see your belongings displayed on open shelves? When you know what you’re working towards, you’ll know when you’ve reached your goal.

• Organise your home to suit your life: set up areas that are used purely for work or for play, advises Ciska Thurman of My Life Organised.

plan of action • When confronted with disorder, it’s best to tackle the mess by being methodical.

Work from one side of the room to the other, from top to bottom. “First deal with the things you can see, then get stuck into cupboards and drawers,” says Judith Penny of All Sorted.

• Have a set of boxes ready, labelled “Give Away”, “Throw Away”, “Put Away” and “Store”.

• Touch each item and make an immediate decision: Do you want it? Do you love it? Do you have a better one? What’s the worst that can happen if you don’t keep it?

• Get rid of anything you haven’t worn in a year. If you’re struggling to let go of something, “flag” the hanger. If you still haven’t worn the item after six weeks, then be strong and get rid of it, says Isabelle de Grandpre of Neat Freak.

• Order your groceries by dividing them into categories and lining them up next to each other: group pastas, cans or cereals, for example. Not only will you know where to find everything, but you will also see when something is running low.

“I declutter by going through my children’s old toys after each birthday or Christmas and weeding out everything that hasn’t been played with for a while. This has to be done secretly and in the dead of night because they will never agree to throw away anything. When I’ve got a nice, big pile of outgrown toys, I donate them all to charity.

It’s a lot easier to throw out things when you know they are going to be loved and played with by other children.” – Fiona Snyckers, writer and mother of three

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keeping it tidy • Move all the boxes out. Put the “Give Away” and “Throw Away” boxes into your car to take to the charity shop, dump or recycling centre. Take the “Put Away” box and put items wherever they belong. Take the “Store” box, label it and pack it out of the way.

• Foulkes recommends that you set up a maintenance system to ensure the clutter never creeps back: maybe you could commit to doing a quick whip around the lounge before going to bed; or put a container in the room where clutter tends to build up and empty it when it’s full. The idea is to keep doing a little bit as you go along so it’s never an overwhelming task again. magazine joburg

ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

get rid of old toys

• Heidi Meyer of Cloud 9 organised says everything must have a home. “When leaving a room, pick up things that don’t belong and put them away. Don’t put things anywhere “just for now” – they will stay there and the clutter will grow.

• Keep linen sorted by folding the sheets and one pillowcase into the remaining pillowcase. This makes it easy to recognise the set and everything is together when you need it. plan meals ahead of time • Keep cupboards tidy with clever storage “I shop with a week’s meals in mind devices. Anything from special dividers and write out the week’s menu on to old shoeboxes can be used to divide a whiteboard in the kitchen when the space in your cupboards.

I unpack the groceries, so there’s • Label things, so you know where not too much head-scratching they belong. when it’s dinner time. I cook two • Make repairs as soon as they’re needed. meals in one night sometimes, If something is broken and can’t be and make enough for lunches.” fixed, get rid of it immediately.

– Louis Greenberg, writer, freelance • Use clear containers or baskets on top editor and father of two of cupboards for extra storage and get under-the-bed organisers, says Jeanne Viljoen of Beorganised. “There is often wasted space in deep or corner cupboards. Use a Lazy Susan to make these spaces more accessible.”

• Suspend a rack from the kitchen ceiling, as an alternative and attractive way of hanging pots and pans.

• The inside of cupboard doors can provide plenty of additional storage if you attach organisers to store items such as foil, wax paper and cling wrap.

handy tips • Nikki Jackson, from i organise, says you can keep your counter tops clear by dropping keys, sunglasses and post into a basket or bowl near your door.

• Use a letter spike or mail stand for your post. Read, file or throw away post as soon as it comes in.

• Have a mounted black/white/notice board where tasks, to-do lists and information can be written and read by the family. You’ll eliminate small pieces of paper and have a visual reminder of what needs to be done.

• Store remotes, cords, video cameras, cellphones and camera chargers in their own drawers or funky storage boxes and label them accordingly.

• Buy in bulk. You’ll be amazed at how much time and effort you’ll save.

• Use technology to organise your life.

Whether it’s your cellphone diary, your laptop or your iPod, learn and use their functions. Use the website toodu.co.za to set up an online to-do list. They will match you up with service providers who can help you get things done.

keep clutter in one place “The best thing I bought is a pigeonhole cupboard. I put everything into it while it waits to go to its real home: children’s toys I pick up off the floor, post I can only get to later, clothes on their way to the cupboard. That way the floor and other surfaces are always clear, the clutter is only in one place and I can tidy it all from there.” – Geci Karuri-Sebina, executive manager of South African Cities network and mother of two

For places that need donations visit childmag.co.za/resources/help magazine joburg

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spotlight

the on eating disorders With children as young as five becoming body conscious, ANGELIQUE SERRAO advises parents

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to look out for food problems from an early age.

arla*, from Johannesburg, is 1,8 metres tall and weighs just 45kg.

“That doesn’t sound very thin, but for a girl that tall, it means she’s just bone,” says her mother Kim*. “That’s the kind of thin that means you can’t sit down because you get sores.” The average weight for a woman of that height is 65kg.

Carla is in her 20s, and has been suffering from anorexia since her early teens. “She’s been at death’s door. Her kidneys have been damaged and she has lost all her teeth. This is my daughter – a stunningly beautiful girl who is smart, but who has emotional problems,” says Kim.

old, but she only realized just how serious the problem was when she turned 16. “I noticed she was always unhappy and upset about school. I put it down to her age.

Then there were little behavioural things; she had problems with other girls and she felt hard done by all the time. She became a perfectionist and could not stand the idea of anyone doing something better than her.” Then some of the girls at school held a competition to see who could lose weight the fastest. While the other girls soon gave up, Carla continued. She first cut out “bad food”, or anything containing fat, but eventually she wasn’t eating at all.

As a mother, Kim has experienced various emotions over the years as she has tried to heal her daughter, and guilt has topped the list.

“I’ve had to realise she won’t recover unless she wants to and how can she do that when this disease is a comfort for her?

Why cope with reality when everyone else will do it for you? It’s put a huge strain on my family. There’s a lot of blame out there, especially against mothers.”

Kim says the first inkling that something was wrong was when Carla was 14 years

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Through years of counselling, Kim has learnt that eating disorders, like anorexia and bulimia, begin at an early age and the sooner they’re treated the better the prognosis for the child. When Carla was diagnosed at 16, her behaviour had already become entrenched.

warning signs When Kim first took 14-year-old Carla to the doctor, suspecting she had an eating disorder, he brushed it off. “Our GP interviewed her and she came across magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterstock.com

The incidence of younger sufferers is increasing, with some rare cases of children under the age of 10 needing treatment.

as so reasonable, that he said there was nothing wrong with her.” Kim then called a psychologist, but he said he only dealt with adults. Two years passed, and the situation worsened, but even then Kim struggled to find help as there are not many psychologists who deal with children’s eating disorders in South Africa.

Often anorexics are obsessive and aspire to reach and maintain extraordinarily high standards, says Cape Town-based clinical psychologist, Graham Alexander, of the Crescent Clinic Eating Disorder Unit.

Bulimics, however, are ambivalent about themselves and others. But Alexander says it’s difficult to generalise as one disorder can turn into another. There is often a recognisable pattern in the families of sufferers, he says. “The parents are often either over-involved or negligent and unavailable. Such families may reveal a history of depression and addiction and tend to mask their problems from the outside world.”

sharing responsibility While media and peer pressure do have an impact, parents have a large part to play. “Blaming seldom works, but a parent’s relationship with themselves has a huge influence on a child’s (self-image),” says Alexander. Jasmine Kooverjee, a psychologist at Tara Psychiatric Hospital in Johannesburg says the parents’ influence is so important, that treatment at Tara begins with a family session. “Parents tend to step back when they cannot handle a situation, but you must be firm and monitor your children. Make them sit down to dinner. It will be much harder for a child to hide their eating habits that way.”

She says children will pick up on small things, such as a mom who goes to gym every day. Also, if a child is overweight it can be dangerous for parents and siblings to tease them about it. “Parents need to watch what they say,” says Kooverjee.

“They need to make sure they are role models.” Encourage healthy eating, but don’t be excessive.

Johannesburg dietician Deborah Jacobson says parents may be at fault when children are inappropriately concerned with their body image.

“Children do get fussy about food, but most of the messages they get are from their parents,” Jacobson says. If you say “starch is bad”, your child will believe it.

“Children emulate what their parents are doing. It happens so often that a mom magazine joburg

is scared of food and of her weight, and this is passed on to the child. Often I advise parents to deal with their own fears about food before trying to deal with the child’s problems.”

It’s not just anorexia parents have to watch out for; bad habits can also come from eating too much. Jacobson says being overweight leads to poor selfesteem, depression, heart disease and diabetes, which is being detected in children as young as four or five.

Jacobson advises parents to get help if they suspect a problem. “I often find that parents don’t really know what normal is.”

Kim agrees. “Get help as soon as you start to wonder if something is wrong. And don’t just go to any therapist. You need someone who knows what to expect because children know how to tell you what they think you want to hear.”

the signs In her book Life Talk for Parents (Zebra Press), Izabella Little says many parents don’t realise how common eating disorders have become. She advises parents to look out for any obsession with weight or rapid weight loss.

• Children may start hiding food or giving their school lunches away to friends.

• They may develop low selfesteem and poor body image, dressing in baggy clothes.

• Look out for the use of laxatives or diet pills, moving food around the plate to look as if it has been eaten, excessive snacking, a refusal to eat in public and excessive exercise.

• There could also be signs of depression and sufferers may become withdrawn, socially avoidant, tearful, lethargic, agitated and irritable.

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Blaming seldom works, but a parent’s relationship with themselves has a huge influence on a child’s self-image.

starting young International studies show an increase in eating disorders in children under the age of 13. While it’s still more common in teenagers, younger children are showing signs of fussy eating that could become more serious later on.

They are also becoming more body conscious and it is not uncommon for a five year old to jog around the house because they want to lose weight. One US study found that by the time girls are nine years old, 30 to 40 percent of them have been on diets. Dublin psychotherapist Marie Campion says children as young as three are vomiting meals, showing signs of food refusal and a desire to avoid nourishment. Children are being taught about good food and bad food too early, which can be destructive.

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Irish psychiatrist John Griffin says he has seen children as young as nine suffering from anorexia. He believes that by the time teenagers are diagnosed, the disease is already well established.

While anorexia or bulimia in children under the age of 14 is not as common in South Africa, it does occur.

Kooverjee says she has worked with only three or four cases of serious eating disorders where the children were under the age of 13. “But this is probably because at that age group it’s often overlooked. Parents simply think it’s a stage their children are going through. They don’t realise there is a problem until it has become more advanced.”

Alexander says the incidence of younger sufferers is increasing, with some rare cases of children under the age of 10 needing treatment. “One must distinguish between the traditional eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia) and disordered eating, like food refusal, that is found in childhood,” says Alexander. While food refusal was often a demonstration of defiance, persistently worrying behaviour with food should not be ignored. The younger the child when the problem is diagnosed, the easier it will be to address the negative behaviour, says Kooverjee.

types of eating disorders Anorexia and bulimia are the most common, with one in 10 girls likely to develop one or both. But recent research shows a rapid rise in boys with these disorders,

says Alexander. “In my experience, male anorexics tend to account for much of their weight loss through excessive exercise.”

Binge eating is when the sufferer eats large amounts of food in a short space of time, and feels out of control, says Alexander. There is not usually any compensatory behaviour, such as vomiting, to prevent weight gain.

Orthorexia describes people who are excessively preoccupied with “health foods” and organic alternatives, and they will avoid anything that is fatty or processed.

Alexander says there does seem to be an increase in children adopting eating preferences, such as vegetarianism. “Sometimes the increase in vegetarianism is simply because it is in vogue, but our media reflects the trend towards exceptional eating habits. The majority of anorexics become vegetarian to limit their caloric intake.”

Childhood obesity is also prevalent as children opt for junk food and a sedentary lifestyle in front of the TV or computer. *Names have been changed

get help Tara Psychiatric Hospital 011 535 3043 Crescent Clinic in Cape Town 021 762 7666 Annex at Entabeni Hospital 031 204 1300

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fun philanthropy Get fit while you get involved.

GILLIAN HURST suggests charitable sports events that should be on your fitness calendar, and some that you can do this month.

hospice spinnathon midrand round table bed race

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Teams of five push one of their team members around the racetrack on a bed. The beds are sponsored, and are donated to needy organisations, such as the Johannesburg Association for the Aged (Jafta), after the event.

Date 4 September 2011 Contact Anthony 082 453 4127, chairman@bedrace.co.za or visit bedrace.co.za Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour

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Hop on one of the 120 spinning bikes placed in the Piazza at Melrose Arch and use your pedal power to raise funds for the Hospice Association of the Witwatersrand.

Date 12 September 2011 Contact 083 712 0771 or 0861 467 7423

sahara race If you love a challenge, enter the Sahara Race with SangoNet (Southern African NGO Network) executive director, David Barnard for the SangoNeT “No Pain No Gain�

Campaign. The Sahara Race is a sevenday, six-stage, 250km race across the

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hottest desert in the world (temperatures average 50°C). Participants must carry their own food and equipment during the race. Funds raised are used to expand SangoNeT’s services to organisations such as the Endangered Wildlife Trust (EWT), Cansa, Starfish Greathearts Foundation and Score. The campaign also seeks to raise awareness and support for NGOs (non-government organisations).

Date 2–8 October 2011 Contact Nicolle 011 403 4935, nicolle@ sangonet.org.za or visit ngopulse.org/npng

the amazing race for charity Join more than 150 teams who dress up in outrageous costumes, decorate their cars and navigate their way around Johannesburg to solve 10 clues. The first team back is declared the winner. This hilarious race raises money for Philimpilo, an organisation supporting families infected with and affected by HIV/Aids.

Date held annually in October Contact 011 783 9595, dean@brandhalo.co.za or visit amazingraceforcharity. wordpress.com

avon ithemba crusade of hope Don your pinkest, funkiest walking gear to raise funds for breast cancer education and awareness. “Friendly” dogs on leashes are also welcome to join either the 5km or 8km routes.

Date 16 October 2011 Contact 086 199 9191 or visit ithembawalkathon.co.za

revlon choc celebration of life fun walk Get your family or friends together and take a walk through the leafy suburbs of Saxonwold to raise funds for children with cancer.

You can even bring your dogs to pound the pavement with you on the 4km or 8km walk.

Date 30 October 2011 Contact Desre 086 111 3500, chocwalk@entrytime.com or visit chocchatter.co.za

The Amazing Race for Charity

the 94.7 momentum cycle challenge with The Cows Join over 300 other participants who dress up in cow suits and cycle the 94.7km distance to raise money for the Childhood Cancer Foundation (Choc). The event encourages all participants, not just those in cow outfits, to ride for a purpose. Various charities benefit annually from the event. Visit cyclechallenge. co.za for a list of affiliated charities, or pedal for a charity or organisation of your choice.

Date 20 November 2011 Contact Daisy 086 111 3500 or visit chocchatter.co.za or the-cows.co.za

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The 94.7 Momentum Cycle Challenge

sisters with blisters

comrades marathon

Maybe you can walk the walk, but can you walk it in stiletto heels? This annual event, held to coincide with the 16 days of activism campaign, calls on participants to do either the 4km or 16km route in high heels. Men are also welcome to join (high heels optional). This fun challenge raises awareness of the abuse of women and children.

Date 26 November 2011 Contact 011 807 3596 or visit sisterswithblisters.co.za

Join in the spirit of one of the world’s top ultramarathons and help contribute to various charities, including the Community Chest, The Sports Trust and the Pink Drive. Next year’s 89km race starts in Pietermaritzburg and ends in Durban.

Date 3 June 2012 Contact 033 897 8650, info@comrades. com or visit comrades.com

midrand eco-walk The whole family, including your dogs on leads, can take part in this scenic 3km to 6km walk to help the Netherdutch Reformed Church of Africa (NRCA) raise funds for Cluny Farm. This is a residential, non-profit working farm for adults with intellectual disabilities.

Date 26 February 2012 (date to be confirmed) Contact Paula 083 282 5121

cape argus pick n pay cycle tour

discovery 702 walk the talk Leash your dogs and take a walk, or run, for a good cause. Over 50 000 people take part in this prestigious event that takes them on a 5km or 8km route. Funds raised go to the Laureus Sport for Good Foundation to help young people grappling with challenging social issues.

Date annual event usually in July Contact 011 017 2700 or visit walkthetalk@702.co.za

This is one of the most beautiful cycle races in the world and one of the best ways to raise money for a charity of your choice. Choose a worthy cause, get sponsorship from your friends, family and colleagues and hop on a plane to Cape Town for this great event.

Date 11 March 2012 Contact 021 681 4333, info@cycletour. co.za or visit cycletour.co.za magazine joburg

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tee off for charity the mad charity golf day Join former Springbok rugby captain Francois Pienaar for a day of golf at the Serengeti Golf and Wildlife Estate, to raise funds for Making a Difference (Mad). The money is used to give gifted, disadvantaged children better educational opportunities.

Date 13 September Contact 011 442 0991, marita@ madcharity.org or visit madcharity.org

varsity college golf days These events are a combined initiative between different student bodies and VC Cares to raise funds for Choc.

Date 14 October 2011 (Wanderers) and 27 October 2011 (Zwartkop Country Club) Contact rpizzi@varsitycollege.co.za

johannesburg spca golf day A day at the Glenvista Country Club helps the SCPA to cover its service area with mobile clinics where animals can be sterilized and treated.

Date 17 November 2011 Contact Jolene 011 681 3600 or outreach1@jhbspca.co.za

ann harding cheshire home annual golf day Spend some time improving your handicap at the Randpark Golf Course and help raise funds for the Cheshire Home. A contribution of R500 includes your green fees, the halfway house and dinner.

Date 23 November 2011 Contact Willem 082 486 3774

Varsity College golf days

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books

a good read for toddlers

for preschoolers Cockadoodle Moo Compiled by John Foster

How Many Sleeps?

By Amber Stewart and Layn Marlow (Oxford University Press, R65) Toast is a very excited little fieldmouse, because in just a few sleeps it will be his birthday. Every day Toast asks his mom, “How many sleeps till my birthday?”

Mom initially says it’s too many to count and then one day, she finally says it’s enough sleeps for them to start thinking of invitations. But Toast is not the only one asking how many sleeps are left. His dad is busy making him a special present and he’s scared it won’t be finished on time.

Any small child who has experienced the anticipation of a birthday will cherish this beautifully illustrated book.

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Bug and Bear

By Ann Bonwill and Layn Marlow (Oxford University Press, R137) This enduring story about true friendship is perfect for bedtime. Bug wants to play with Bear, but Bear wants to nap. He tries everything, including pretending to be a chameleon and a tortoise, to outwit the annoying Bug. Nothing seems to work until his bad temper takes over and he tells Bug to “buzz off”, which Bug does. But then poor Bear can’t sleep. He feels very bad for being rude to his best friend. The only way to solve it would be to apologise, but Bug is missing. The story has a lovely ending and the illustrations have a muted, cuddly feeling, making the characters very likeable.

rhyme time

(Oxford University Press, R97) This is a beautifully illustrated collection of rhymes and poems for the very young. With farmyard animals, fairies, frogs, fancy dress and everything in between – there’s a poem for every occasion. This lively collection has contributions from Shirley Hughes, Jez Alborough, Richard Edwards and Tony Mitton. Among the more than 80 poems and rhymes included are Bath Time, I wish I was a Centipede and Snow in the Lamplight.

Mister King’s Incredible Journey

By David du Plessis (Random House Struik, R80) Mister King the penguin lives on a rocky island near the South Pole. One day a boat appears and Mister King watches as some fishermen row to the shore. The fishermen have never seen such a strange bird, so they catch the frightened penguin and take him back to their boat and sail off. If Mister King ever wants to see his home again, he will have to be very brave and find his own way back. This is a tale of courage and compassion. At its heart, the book considers issues of conservation, nature’s wisdom and our responsibility towards our fellow creatures.

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for early graders Alana Dancing Star series: Samba Spectacular, Viennese Waltz and Bollywood Dreams

By Arlene Phillips (Faber Kids, R100 each) Little girls will not only love the stories, they will also enjoy dressing the cutout Alana dress-up doll in the outfit that comes with each book. Alana faces a dancing challenge in each book, and turns to Madame Coco’s Costume Emporium for suitable attire. But this is no ordinary emporium.

As Alana tries on a gorgeous, themed outfit, she is whisked away to the actual place – to Brazil to dance in an amazing carnival; to the ballrooms of 19th century Vienna where her prince needs her help and to a Bollywood film set in India. The author of the books is a judge on TV’s Strictly Come Dancing and So You Think You Can Dance?

Winnie in Space

By Valerie Thomas and Korky Paul

Winnie-the-Pooh Chalkboard Activity Book

(Oxford University Press, R118) Winnie is fascinated by space and she decides that the time is right for a little exploration. Wilbur, on the other hand, is not so sure. Winnie’s magical rocket is quite tricky to steer through the universe and poor Wilbur can’t even bear to look.

He feels a little less anxious when they land on a faraway planet and Winnie unpacks their picnic. That is, until the weird inhabitants eat their space ship… But however exciting flying saucers, shooting stars and space rabbits may be, Winnie knows that there is no place like home.

(Egmont Books, R83) This handy board book has all the popular Winnie-the-Pooh characters in the familiar Pooh illustrations, but it comes with four coloured chalks and loads of fun activities. Your child can draw pictures, colour in characters, solve puzzles and play games. Inexperienced little fingers will have loads of fun tracing Pooh’s name, creating a forest with their chalks, joining the dots, making their way through a maze or playing a dice game, all with the presence of Pooh characters on each page.

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Nicholas

By Rene Goscinny and Jean-Jacques Sempé

a ’s children classic

(Phaidon Press, R110) This is a hilarious book to read out loud to your early grader. The Nicholas books have been bestsellers in France and are fast becoming very popular in the English-speaking world. Whether they are at home or at school, Nicholas and his friends are caught up in hilarious escapades that always result in confusion – at least for their parents and teachers. Rene Goscinny, the author of the Asterix series, brings Nicholas’s adventures and exploits to life. And just like with the Gaul, your child will laugh out loud – with you.

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for preteens and teens The Wombles Go round the World and The Wombles to the Rescue

By Elisabeth Beresford (Bloomsbury, R95 each) The Wombles series has been around since 1968, but young readers never tire of these pointy-nosed, furry creatures. The series has been re-released with a brand-new, more modern jacket. In The Wombles Go round the World, Tobermory invents two clever clockwork air balloons and the four young Wombles are sent on an adventure around the world. In the second book, the humans are cutting down the trees, brambles and flowers on the Common, and the Womble’s food supplies are running low. They will have to use all their ingenuity to solve this one.

Time Riders: The Doomsday Code

By Alex Scarrow

Muddle Earth

By Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell

(Penguin Books, R120) This is the third book in this very popular series so loved by boys between the ages of 10 and 16. Liam O’Connor, Maddy Carter and Sal Vikram work for an agency that no one knows exists. Its purpose is to prevent time travel from destroying history. In this edition, it’s 1994 and British computer hacker Adam Lewis finds his name in a coded manuscript that is almost 1 000 years old. Confronted by Adam, the TimeRiders travel back to Sherwood Forest in 1194 to discover the origins of the ancient message.

But when a hooded man appears to be interested in the same thing, they begin to wonder what terrible threat this cryptic link from the past holds for the future.

(Macmillan Children’s Books, R85) Children between the ages of nine and 12 will not be able to put down this laugh-on-every-page read. Where would you find a perfumed bog filled with pink stinky hogs and exploding gas frogs, a wizard with only one spell, an ogre who cries a lot and a very sarcastic budgie? Welcome to Muddle Earth… Joe Jefferson was just an ordinary schoolboy, but something strange happened and now he is Joe the Barbarian, summoned to wrestle dragons and be very brave.

Joe doesn’t feel much like a warrior hero (he doesn’t look much like one either), but evil is stirring and someone has to save Muddle Earth.

Viva, Mr Mandela

By Jomarié Dick (Human & Rousseau, R157) This book pays tribute to Nelson Mandela in five parts: his childhood in the Eastern Cape, his political awakening in Johannesburg, his imprisonment on Robben Island, his years as president and his subsequent status as a world icon. Inside, there is a blog-format diary of children visiting Robben Island. “Did you know?” boxes cover interesting snippets and the photographs and illustrations show highlights from his political career and personal life. The author has included information about comrades, politicians, sporting heroes, movie stars, musicians and ordinary people who have been touched by Madiba, as well as quotes relating to important events in his life.

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for us Springbok Kitchen Compiled by Duane Heath (Struik Lifestyle, R180) It’s Rugby World Cup month and what better way to celebrate than to cook with inspiration from current and former Springboks. To warm up, try Schalk Burger’s Banana Loaf. For a braai, splash out with Robbie Fleck’s Crayfish and Salmon Steaks or Jan “Boland” Coetzee’s Springbok Loins. In the kitchen, you can cook up John Smit’s Thai Chicken Curry and end it off with Bismarck du Plessis’ Custard Cake.

This book celebrates the love of food, family and rugby and all proceeds go towards the Chris Burger/Petro Jackson Players’ Fund.

pick e of th th mon

Tiny Sunbirds Far Away

By Christie Watson (Quercus, R188) Christie Watson has received rave reviews for her debut novel about a Nigerian family uprooted from their comfortable home in Lagos and their subsequent move to Warri, a village in the Niger Delta. Central to the story is 12-year-old Blessing, through whose eyes we experience an Africa few have seen. She must cope with a mom who has a dodgy job, a grandfather who is adamant that he wants to adopt the Muslim faith, an older brother who is mixing with the wrong crowd and her grandmother, who teaches Blessing about being a midwife.

Through her experiences, we also learn about the Nigerian people and their battle with war, poverty, genital mutilation and ethnic strife.

The Protein Crunch

By Jason Drew and David Lorimer (Print Matters Planet, R134) Resource depletion and environmental destruction are pushing food prices ever higher – can science come to the rescue or will we be forced to revert to our traditional approach and fight over our remaining resources? We have wasted billions regulating the financial markets that gave us the credit crunch, yet we spend practically nothing on planning for and maintaining the Earth on which we all depend. The rich have already consumed the water of the thirsty, eaten the food of the hungry and burnt the fuel of the cold. The poor will suffer most – do they really deserve the protein crunch? Do we have time to repair the future? Read this book and find out.

Your Sensory Baby

By Megan Faure

g parentin

(Penguin South Africa, R187) book Worried about why your baby is crying or not getting enough sleep? This book shows you that the answers to these problems lie in understanding how to read your baby’s body language and signals.

You can use this knowledge to develop a flexible routine around your baby’s needs, creating a gentle schedule that will guide your child into peaceful, easy sleep and calm periods of wakefulness. This will ensure that you don’t struggle to get your baby to sleep when she is alert and wanting to play. Understand your baby’s senses to avoid over-stimulation, a leading cause of colic, and get the answers to many other parenting questions from bestselling author, mother and occupational therapist, Megan Faure. magazine joburg

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calendar

what’s on in september

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by MARINA ZIETSMAN

1

FUN FOR CHILDREN – p54

ONLY FOR PARENTS – p59

Say cheese! Let the children learn how to take that winning photograph.

Do it for ballet Enjoy a magical show and a multi-course dinner in aid of The South African Ballet Theatre.

bump, baby & tot in tow– p61

how to help – p62

Pack your baby and pram Get fit the not-so-conventional way.

Ride your bike to Durban and back In aid of the QuadPara Association of SA.

SPECIAL EVENTS – p50 SA Tattoo South Africa becomes a global stage for a spectacular show.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: JOHN HOGG / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

thu

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1–4 September – Hobby-X

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 thursday ADHASA poetry competition This is open to children age 6−18 years as well as adults. It is a chance for those who suffer from ADHD to explore their own condition and to recognise the gifts it can bring. Entry forms are available on their website. Ends 10 September. Cost: R20. Contact Carina: c@absamail.co.za or Lynne: adhasa@ telkomsa.net or visit adhasa.co.za SA Tattoo Massed bands, drumming and drill teams, dance groups and stunt teams – the 90-minute, open-air spectacular showcases new and original performances from South Africa and abroad. Ends 4 September. Time: 8pm, Thursday and Friday; 5pm and 8pm, Saturday; 6pm, Sunday. Venue: Outdoor Event Area, Montecasino. Cost: R158–R348.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Hobby-X The expo showcases the latest crafts and supplies, fun hobby and craft innovations, and displays. Enjoy the entertainment, demonstrations, talks and workshops. Also shop for books, gems, easels, paints, gardening goodies, Meccano and more. Ends 4 September. Time: 10am–6pm, Thursday and Friday; 9am–6pm, Saturday; 9am–5pm, Sunday. Venue: Gallagher Estate, Midrand. Cost: adults R40, children 6–12 years old R20. Contact: 011 478 3686 or visit hobby-x.co.za Africa Umoja This is a loud, colourful and jubilant celebration of indigenous South

2 fri

African music and dance. Also 3, 7, 9 and 10 September. Time: 8pm–10pm.

Venue: Victory Theatre, 105 Louis Botha Ave, Houghton Estate. Cost: from R115.

Contact: 011 728 9603 or book through Computicket: visit computicket.com

2 friday Sunflower Fund annual golf day You can either sponsor a hole or a prize or participate in this four-ball event in aid of the charity. There are also great prizes.

Time: tbc. Venue: The Wanderers Golf Club, Rudd Rd. Cost: R3 800, includes fourball, green fees, dinner, entertainment and halfway house. Contact: 011 783 4568 or gauteng@sunflowerfund.org.za We talk Rugby World Cup Listen to an overview of the World Cup and a discussion on who stands the best chance of winning. Former Springboks Naas Botha and Owen Nkumane host the evening.

Other experts Ray Mordt, Japie Mulder and Wim van der Berg also share their views. Time: 7am–9am. Venue: Hyatt Regency Hotel, cnr Oxford and Biermann Rds, Rosebank. Cost: R410 or R3 950 per table of 10, including breakfast. Booking essential. Contact: 011 280 1234 The Getaway Show With 400 exhibits, exclusive show specials, demonstrations, photography workshops, activities, a children’s area, the Getaway stand, Spin and Win, and a beer tent; this show is an ideal outing for all travel, outdoor and adventure enthusiasts. Ends 4 September.

Time: 11am–7pm, Friday; 9am–7pm, Saturday; 9am–5pm, Sunday. Venue: The Coca Cola Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding. Cost: adults R50, students and pensioners R30, children under 12 free. For more info: visit getawayshow.co.za

3 saturday Casual Day This popular fundraising event is based on the concept that you can wear anything for the day as long as you wear the official Casual Day sticker. Proceeds from donations for the stickers benefit organisations rendering services to persons with disabilities. The 2011 campaign theme is “rock star”.

Cost of a Casual Day sticker: R10.

For more info: visit casualday.co.za

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The Ultimate Animal Charity fundraiser Enjoy a day with loads of food stalls, children’s entertainment, pony rides and live performances. All proceeds go towards animal shelters and organisations that help animals in distress. Time: 10:30am–10pm. Venue: The Country Pub, Cedar Rd, Kyalami. Cost: adults R80, children under 13 R40; donations of pet food and blankets welcome. Contact: 082 856 4505 or ultimateanimalcharity@live.com Joburg Dachshund Day Activities include a Dachsie boot camp, a Dachsie and owner fancy dress/lookalike competition and a breed show. There are plenty of prizes up magazine joburg

for grabs. This event is also the final for the “12 favourite photos” competition. These photos are published in a calendar that is sold to raise money for Dachsie Rescue.

This year’s theme for photos is “Dachsies at Play”. Time: 10:30am. Venue: Brightwater Commons, Randburg Rd, Randburg. Cost: R25, R20 per dog activity. For more info: visit brightwatercommons.co.za

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3 September – Joburg Dachshund Day

Joburg Day with Santam and 94.7fm Bring the family, pack a picnic and enjoy a music extravaganza featuring some of the best local music acts. Time: from 10am. Venue: Soccer City Precinct. Cost: adults R210–R300, children 3–12 years old R80. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com Wheels at the Vaal Expo View veteran and exclusive cars, bakkies, tractors and steam tractors. There are demonstrations of the workings of gadgets from way back and stalls with handmade goodies, food, a beer tent and children’s entertainment.

For a R20 ticket, you stand the chance of winning an old Volkswagen Beetle. Ends 4 September. Time: 8:30am–5pm. Venue: North-West University, Vanderbijlpark. Cost: adults R30, children R10. Contact: 083 513 6632 or mauritz.meyer@gmail.com Mzansi Magic Market Day Children aged 7–15 years old sell their wares to the public or showcase their talents. There are cash prizes up for grabs for regional and national winners. Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: Maponya Mall, 2127 Chris Hani Rd, Klipspruit Ext. 5, Soweto. Cost: free. Contact: 011 686 6058 or nomphelo.ndzimela@mnet.co.za

4 sunday Family road race Take part in this Benoni City Times 90-minutes-for-charity fun run.

Participate in either the 10km race or the 5km jog. Children can join in a fun dash. Loads of food and hot drinks are on sale. Proceeds go towards the Lakeside Mall’s charity. Register for the race from 22–24 August at Town Square. Time: 7am; children’s dash 7:30am. Venue: Lakeside Mall, Tom Jones St, Benoni. Cost: 10km R30, 5km R20, fun dash R15. For more info: visit lakesidemall.co.za Cellar Rats Spring Wine Festival This wine festival appeals to novices and experienced tasters, with over 100 wine producers presenting their ranges.

There is supervised entertainment for children. Picnic baskets and food are on sale. Time: 11am–3pm. Venue: Woodland School, Magaliesberg. Cost: adults R100, children R14,50; picnic baskets: for adults R190, for children R35,50. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com magazine joburg

A contemporary dance festival with a series of new works from young South African choreographers.

Ends 18 September. Time: varies, in the evenings. Venue: several dance studios across Johannesburg. Cost: R60 per event. Contact: 082 570 3083, danceforum@artslink.co.za or visit artslink.co.za/arts

Buy, Read, Share National Book Week runs 5–10 September. For more info on events and projects: visit nationalbookweek. co.za or bookslive.co.za

8 thursday Dainfern College open day See the school in action, take a tour of the grounds and facilities, and meet the principal.

Time: 9am–10am. Venue: Broadacres Dr, Dainfern. Cost: free. Contact: 011 469 0635 or cgrobbelaar@dainferncollege.co.za

9 friday Balletomania! This is a celebration of The South African Ballet Theatre’s 10th anniversary, featuring extracts from the company’s impressive repertoire. Ends 11 September.

Time: 8pm, Friday; 3pm and 8pm, Saturday; 11am and 3pm, Sunday. Venue: Joburg Theatre, Loveday St, Braamfontein. Cost: R110–R220. Contact: 011 877 6898, 0861 670 670 or visit joburgtheatre.com

10 saturday The Wedding Expo The who’s who of the wedding industry is showcasing

9–11 September – Balletomania!

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calendar enchanting music. Colourful and humorous characters and a brand new ending adds excitement to this imaginative, interactive play for children. Ends 15 October. Time: 10:30am and 2:30pm, Monday–Saturday.

Venue: The National Children’s Theatre, 3 Junction Ave, Parktown. Cost: adults R90, children R80, block bookings (10 people or more) adults R80, children R70. Contact: 011 484 1584 or visit jyt.co.za

16 friday Recycling Day National Cleanup Week runs from 12–17 September during which companies, schools and individuals are encouraged to organise clean-up events.

For more info on events and competitions: visit cleanup-sa.co.za

Pick n Pay Taste of Joburg This fest is jam-packed with flavour experiences. Fourteen of Johannesburg’s top restaurants come together to serve trend-setting signature dishes. Other participants include award-winning wines, drink brands and exhibitors. There is a children’s area with professional childminders. Ends 18 September.

Time: 6:30pm–10:30pm, Thursday and Friday; 1pm–10:30pm, Saturday; 12pm–5pm, Sunday.

Venue: Outdoor Event Area, Montecasino. Cost: R70­ –R685, booking essential. For more info: visit tasteofjoburg.co.za

17 saturday

10 and 11 September – The Wedding Expo

everything bridal and one couple can win a wedding worth R200 000. Ends 11 September. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: The Coca Cola Dome, Northriding. Cost: R100.

For more info: visit wedding-expo.co.za

12 monday The Pied Piper and other Tales This is a story about children caught between pennypinching elders and a pied piper who plays

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Poplar Academy open day Visit the school, view the facilities, and enjoy the family entertainment organised for the day.

Time: 9:30am–3pm. Venue: 39 Whisken Ave, Crowthorne, Midrand. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 655 0723 or info@ poplarprimary.co.za Johnson’s Baby Sense Seminar Baby Sense brings together the top baby care experts. They address parents and parentsto-be on all aspects of baby care from birth options, feeding and sleep patterns to health, massage and development. Time: 8am–12:30pm and 1pm–5:30pm. Venue: Southern Sun Grayston Hotel, Rivonia Rd,

15 thurs

Sandton. Cost: R240 per session or R400 for the whole day. Contact: 021 462 4669, britt@go4word.co.za or visit babysense.co.za Robertson Wine Valley Festival Wineries showcase their wines, which are sold on-site.

There is food for sale and a wide variety of activities such as fly-fishing, face painting and jumping castles. Ends 18 September.

Time: 10am–5pm, Saturday; 10am–4pm, Sunday. Venue: Kloofzicht Lodge, Kromdraai Rd, Muldersdrift. Cost: varies. Contact: 011 317 0600 or visit kloofzicht.co.za or robertsonwinevalley.com Spring Expo Come and enjoy fun rides, browsing the stalls, wine tasting, a beer tent and tea garden, and get a bite to eat from the food court. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: St Andrew’s School for Girls, St Andrew’s Ave, Senderwood. Cost: R10 entry, children under 18 free. Contact: 011 453 9408 Hospice Spinnathon There are 120 spinning bikes available where you spin for charity. Special bikes keep children busy. You can also win spot prizes and a spinning bike.

All proceeds go to the Hospice Association of the Witwatersrand. Time: 12pm–9pm.

Venue: Piazza at Melrose Arch. Cost: R120 per hour. Book your hours in advance.

Contact: 083 712 0771 or 0861 467 7423

22 thursday The Good Food and Wine Show Experience the latest cutting edge global trends and tastes. You can shop or take part in a number of gourmet experiences.

magazine joburg

23–25 September – The Alternative and Extreme Sport Expo

Discover a world of tastes and flavours, experience new products and see the latest global food and lifestyle trends. Cook with top celebrity chefs at the hands-on workshops, and watch them in action at the Chefs in Action Theatre. Ends 25 September.

Time: 10am–9pm, Thursday–Saturday; 10am–6pm, Sunday. Venue: The Coca Cola Dome, North Riding. Cost: adults R80, children 2–12 years old R45, children under 2 free. For more info: visit gourmetsa.co.za

23 friday The Alternative and Extreme Sport Expo This unique expo incorporates alternative sports in one exhibition. There are competitions, demonstrations and a special children’s corner. Ends 25 September. Time:

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9am–5pm. Venue: Riversands Farm, William Nicol Dr (R511), Fourways. Cost: adults R100, children under 16 R50, toddlers free.

Contact: 082 443 3796, rgk@altxsports. co.za or visit altxsports.co.za Joburg Art Fair Showcases the best in contemporary art and design with 23 galleries and several projects. This year’s theme is Art and Industry. Ends 25 September. Time: 11am–7pm, Friday; 11am–8pm, Saturday; 10am–4pm, Sunday. Venue: Sandton Convention Centre. Cost: R100 per day, scholars R20, children under 12 free. For more info: visit joburgartfair.co.za

24 saturday The South African Lipizzaners Celebrate Heritage Day with the Lipizzaners at their

63rd anniversary performance. The stallions are performing with the internationally renowned Grammy Award winners, the Soweto Gospel Choir. Refreshments are on sale, including a cash bar. Time: 7pm. Venue: Lipizzaner Centre, 1 Dahlia Rd, Kyalami. Cost: R200. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com West Rand Hobby, Toy and Collectible Fair You can view or buy items such as dinky toys, corgi toys, matchbox cars, teddy bears and more. Private toy collections are also on display. Time: 8:30am–1:30pm.

Venue: Laerskool Horison, Mouton Rd, Roodepoort. Cost: R10 entry. Contact Joshua: 072 254 1730 Watershed concert and family fun day There are food stalls and children’s activities. You can also pack a picnic or order from them. Time: 12pm. Venue: Monaghan Farm, just off the R511, north of Lanseria (see online map for directions). Cost: R200, children under 12 free. For tickets and to order a picnic hamper, contact: 087 630 0742, theotherside@monaghanfarm.co.za or visit monaghanfarm.co.za

Riverdance This is an innovative and exciting blend of dance, music and song from Ireland, capturing the imagination of audiences across all ages and cultures. Ends 9 October. Time: 8pm, Tuesday–Friday; 3pm and 8pm, Saturday; 2pm and 6pm, Sunday. Venue: Teatro at Montecasino.

Cost: R221–R374. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com

30 friday Rage Expo Rage brings together the most popular and cutting-edge games, technology, gadgets and gaming-related products under one dome. Ends 2 October.

Time: 10am–6pm, Friday; 9am–6pm, Saturday; 10am–4pm, Sunday. Venue: The Coca-Cola Dome, Northgate. Cost: day ticket R50, weekend ticket R80, family ticket (two adults; two children) R160, children under 6 free. For more info: visit rageexpo.co.za

27 tuesday Summit College golf day All golfers 16 years and older are welcome to play. There are great prizes to be won. Time: 11am.

Venue: Blue Valley Golf Estate, 54 Beauly Ave, Centurion. Cost: R2 400 per fourball. Contact: 078 451 8312 or natasha@ summitcollege.co.za

30 September–2 October – Rage Expo

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FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Art fun at Yeesh! Children 3–12 years old can do sand art, T-shirt painting or paint on canvas and ceramics. They also take their work of art home. 6–27 September.

Time: 10am–4pm. Venues: Yeesh! Fun for Kids, Bryanston and Woodmead. Cost: R45 entry, art priced separately, Wednesday flat rate R60. Contact: Bryanston 011 463 5847, Woodmead 011 656 9669, yeesh@ mweb.co.za or visit yeesh.co.za Heritage Day mom/dad and me cooking workshop They also offer a 10% discount on all Joburg’s Child readers who make a booking. 24 September.

Time: 9:30am–11:30am. Venue: The Taste Bud Cooking Studio, 3 Waterford Place, Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: R180 per pair. Contact: 082 331 9987 or nicola@ tastebudstudio.co.za Little Artists exhibition 2011 There are artworks on show by young and upcoming artists. 11–23 September. Time: 10am–4pm, Tuesday–Friday; 10am–2pm, Saturday; opening of the exhibition 11 September 11am. Venue: Manor Gallery, Norscot Centre, Penguin Dr, Fourways.

Cost: free. Contact: 011 465 7934

classes, talks and workshops Dance classes Ballet, tap, Spanish, modern and ballroom dancing classes are offered to children of all ages. Time: varies from 2pm–5:15pm, Monday–Saturday. Venue: Katz School of Dance, Sandhurst Shopping Centre, 60 Rivonia Dr. Cost: varies. Contact: 011 884 1022 or visit ksdance.co.za Dealing with divorce workshop This workshop helps to show young people 5–17 years old that their feelings of anger, frustration or sadness are normal, and provides tips on how to survive this emotional time.

10 September. Time: 9am. Venue: Equal Zeal, Centurion. Cost: R600. Contact Christa: 083 304 0303 or christa@equalzeal.com Drama workshops This programme teaches students confidence, creativity, communication, presentation, public speaking and performance skills. Classes are divided into groups by age for 5–8 year olds and 9–12 year olds. Time and cost: varies.

Venues: Helen O’Grady Drama Academy in Sandton, Morningside, Boksburg, Houghton, Benoni, Kensington, Edenvale, Sandringham, Bedfordview, Kempton Park and Sunninghill.

Cost: varies. Contact: hogdrama@telkomsa. net or visit dramaafrica.com Edukits open day Try out the new Leap Frog LeapPad and take part in other activities and workshops for all ages. A new book range is on sale as well as new products and old favourites. There are giveaways, prizes, lucky draws, specials and more. Confirmed guests are entered into a draw for a R500 Edukits gift voucher. 10 September. Time: 9:30am–3:30pm. Venue: Edukits, Randpark Ridge. Contact: 082 331 5273 or lauryan@edukits.co.za Junior photography workshop for school children Bring your camera and learn how to take creative photos. Join the Cheese Club and meet fellow photographers.

2 September. Time: 2pm–4pm. Venue: meet

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11–23 September – Little Artists exhibition 2011

at the country’s largest upside-down cow, Irene Village Mall, Nelmapius Dr, Irene.

Cost: R100. Contact: 082 655 4751, liezel@ cheesephoto.co.za or visit cheesephoto.co.za Little Cooks Club Offers cooking classes for children as young as toddlers. Time, venue and cost vary. For more info: visit littlecooksclub.co.za Make your own teddy bear Skilled instructors from Teddy Bears on Parade offer a free beginner’s class over three months on making teddy bears. Children from age seven can participate if they’re accompanied by an adult. 3 September, 29 October and 26 November. Time: 9:30am–1pm. Venue: Hall 5, Edenvale Community Centre, cnr Van Riebeeck Ave and 2nd St, Edenvale. Cost: free, but booking essential. Contact: 011 828 7901 or visit honeydewbears.co.za Mother and child yoga workshop These workshops encourage you to reconnect on a soul level with your child.

24 September. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Yoga4Kids, Good Vibrations Sanctuary, 9A 11th Ave, Rivonia. Cost: R950. Contact: 083 299 6555, 084 341 2833, info@yoga4kids. co.za or visit yoga4kids.co.za Musical theatre workshop Children learn to sing, dance and act from two professionals. These workshops boost confidence and develop talents. For children 7–13 years old. 29 August– 3 September. Time: 10am–12:30pm.

Venue: Zinto, 21 2nd Ave, Linbropark. Cost: R750. Contact: 084 666 1344 or visit musicaltheatreworkshop.co.za Painting classes Children from age 6 are taught different techniques that can be applied to ceramics. Time and cost depend on booking. Venue: Pottery Junxion, Glendower Place, 99 Linksfield Rd, Edenvale. Contact: 011 453 2721, rosie@potteryjunxion.co.za or visit potteryjunxion.co.za Pop in Art This programme teaches students how to “see” a new way and offers basic understanding of how to draw and paint. Each week a different theme is explored. Time: 3pm–4pm and 4pm–5pm, Monday–Thursday. Venues: Artjamming, Lonehill Shopping Centre, Fourways and Blubird Centre, Birnam. Cost: R150 per class.

Contact: Lonehill 011 465 5778, Blubird 011 786 0599 or visit artjamming.co.za Seedpod Studio This studio offers regular workshops for children and adults in ceramics, decoupage, mixed media and mosaic. Venue: Broadacres Lifestyle Centre, Cedar Rd, Broadacres. Contact: 011 465 0375 or visit seedpodstudio.com Sibling success workshop Give your children the skills to form a better

relationship by learning to communicate with each other in a more favourable way.

For children 5–17 years old. 17 September.

Time: 9am. Venue: Equal Zeal, Centurion.

Cost: R600. Contact Christa: 083 304 0303 or christa@equalzeal.com

family outings Family fun days Parents enjoy wine tasting and jazz music while the children are entertained with face painting, an animal farm, balloon shaping, cupcake decorating and a jumping castle. 25 September. Time: 12pm–3pm. Venue: River Place Country Estate, Hennops River Valley. Cost: adults R265, including three-course meal, children R125, including a two-course meal. Contact: 079 886 9827 or visit riverplace.co.za

2, 9, 16, 23 and 30 September – Friday night dinner and entertainment

Friday night dinner and entertainment Triba is celebrating spring with the return of the Friday night à la carte dinner. Their café tables are set around the children’s playground where children are watched by the TribaMinders. 2, 9, 16, 23 and 30 September. Time: 6pm. Venue: Triba, 39 St Albans Ave, Craighall Park. Cost: varies.

Contact: 011 501 4740

Round Table bed race At this charity event, teams race around the track on decorated hospital beds. There are prizes for the best-decorated bed, the fastest lap and more. These beds are then donated to needy homes. 5 September. Time: participants 7:30am, race starts 9:30am. Venue: Zwartkops Raceway, on the R55, Pretoria West. Cost: R3 500 per team of five, which includes a bed and race fuel (refreshments), spectators R30 per vehicle; please bring a toy to donate to charity. Contact: 012 375 5800 or visit zwartkops.co.za The Silver Birch Relax at the restaurant while the children are kept busy in the playground. They also have pizza-making facilities for the little ones. Time: varies.

Venue: cnr Beyers Naudé Dr and Ysterhout Ave, Randpark Ridge. Cost: varies. Contact: 011 792 5714, silver.birch@mweb.co.za or visit thesilverbirch.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Bird spotting Bring your binoculars and a bird book; spot birds and mark them as “done”. 17 September. Time: 7am. Venue: Kloofendal Nature Reserve, Galena Ave, Roodepoort. Cost: R40.

Contact: 079 693 5608 Chartwell Castle and Guest House They have the biggest known uninterrupted maze in the southern hemisphere, which you can use for games or races. Use of maze by appointment. Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Friday. Venue: Hood Rd, Dainfern.

Cost: adults R50, children R25 for maze use. Contact: 010 227 0002 Cooper’s Cave picnic and walking tour Grab the rare opportunity to explore a 1,5-million-year-old fossil site. The activities include an interactive fossil and site talk, exploring a cave and learning how to make stone tools. A jersey, torch, hat, sunscreen, comfortable clothes, walking shoes, camera and booking essential. 3 September.

Time: 9am. Venue: Maropeng, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R350, including picnic.

Contact: 014 577 9000 Crocodile feeding You are given the chance to hold a croc hatchling, pythons and other reptiles. Time: croc feeding 2pm, every Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Croc City, Plot 59, R114, Nietgedacht, Fourways.

Cost: adults R55, pensioners R45, children under 12 R30. Contact: 083 657 7561

Inanda family fun day and polo tournament Entertainment includes a giant slide, water balls, pony rides, a face painter, trampoline bungee, miniature diesel train rides, a jumping castle, market stalls, a beer garden and food stands. It is also the final day of the Inanda Club polo tournament.

25 September. Time: 10am–4pm. Venue: Inanda Club, 1 Forrest Rd, Sandton. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 884 1414, tknox@inandaclub.co.za or visit inandaclub.co.za

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calendar Drake’s Party Farmyard Pack a picnic and enjoy the outdoors as well as pony rides and a petting zoo. Time: 9am–5pm, Monday and Wednesday. Venue: Clulee Ave, Linbro Park. Cost: R25, includes pony rides, tea/coffee. Contact: 084 941 8219 Flight of Fantasy bird show The stars of the Montecasino Bird Gardens are the talented show birds, which captivate audiences with breathtaking displays of unrestrained flight. The shows run for 40 minutes. Time: 11am and 3pm, Monday– Friday; 11am, 1pm and 3pm, Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Montecasino Boulevard, Fourways. Cost: adults and children over 10 R38, children under 10 R22,50. For more info: visit montecasino.co.za Moonlight maze Tackle this maze by moonlight. Pack a picnic and dine under the stars. 10 September. Time: 5:45pm.

Venue: Honeydew A-Maize-ing Mazes, Boland St, off Beyers Naudé Dr, Honeydew.

Cost: adults R90, children under 15 R80.

Booking essential. Contact: 073 795 2174 or visit honeydewmazes.co.za

– come and indulge in food tastings, demonstrations and interesting talks. 24 September. Time: 9am–3pm. The market is open 9am–3pm, every Thursday and Saturday. Venue: Culross Rd, Bryanston.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 706 3671 or visit bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za Country market On sale are homemade and organic goods. You can browse the stalls and enjoy a glass of wine while the children have fun in the playground, have their faces painted or enjoy story time. 10 September.

Time: 8am–2pm. Venue: Health Emporium, cnr Church and Market St, Midrand. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 691 0450 or visit healthemporium.co.za Craighall River Market Shop for art, crafts and organic produce. Children can enjoy

markets Art and crafts market Shop for unique handmade crafts. 1 September. Time: 8:30am–4pm. Venue: Garden World, Beyers Naudé Dr, Muldersdrift. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 692 0694 or visit gardenworld.co.za Bryanston Organic Market A celebration of Earth on Heritage Day

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Bryanston Organic Market

pony rides, while you relax in the tea garden.

10 September. Time: 8:30am–1:30pm.

Venue: Colourful Splendour Nursery, Marlborough Ave, Craighall. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 465 3413 French flea market Alliance Française Johannesburg is hosting a market with stalls selling everything from books and music to vintage clothes and food. Story telling for children in English, Zulu and French at 10:30am. 17 September. Time: 9am–3pm.

Venue: Alliance Française Johannesburg, 17 Lower Park Dr, Parkview. Cost: free entry. Contact: 072 772 8546 or damien. meyrignac@alliance.org.za Fresh family market Browse the stalls and enjoy a cuppa while the children are entertained with activities such as face painting, and art and crafts. Time: 10am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Cedar Square, Cedar Rd, Fourways. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 465 0910 Hazel food market Shop for homemade goodies, organic produce, international cuisine and enjoy something to eat under the trees. Time: 8am–2pm, every Saturday.

Venue: Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison and Mackenzie St, Menlo Park. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit hazelfoodmarket.co.za Irene village market The market offers plenty of children’s entertainment plus a fully-licensed tea garden, numerous food stalls and over 300 exhibits. 10 and 24 September. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Smuts

17 September – French flea market

House Museum, Jan Smuts Ave, Irene. Cost: free entry. Contact: 012 667 1659, irenemkt@ mweb.co.za or visit irenemarket.co.za Jozi food market Experience a mixture of culture and gourmet delights. Time: 8:30am–1pm, every Saturday. Venue: Pirates Sports Club, 4th Ave Ext, Parkhurst.

Cost: free entry. For more info: visit jozifoodmarket.co.za Walkerville Farmer’s Market A craft market with children’s activities including pony rides, a sandpit, swings, a jungle gym and free-roaming animals. Time: 9am–3pm, every Saturday. Venue: 112 Main Rd, Walkerville. Cost: free entry. Contact: 079 076 7680, info@wfmarket.co.za or visit wfmarket.co.za

on stage and screen Fun, Magic and Tales from Africa This production brings you a collection of African

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stories that are particularly appealing to children. It’s an interactive production and children are encouraged to play along. 12 September–9 October. Time: 9am and 11am, Tuesday–Friday; 10:30am and 2:30pm, Saturday, Sunday, public holidays and school holidays. Venue: People’s Theatre, cnr Loveday and Hoofd St, Braamfontein. Cost: Kid’s Club members R60, accompanying Kid’s Club members R80, non-members R99. Contact: 011 403 1563 The Sleeping Beauty This popular fairy tale is performed as a ballet with live orchestral accompaniment by The Johannesburg Philharmonic Orchestra. 30 September–16 October. Time: 11am and 8:30pm, Thursday; 8pm, Friday; 3pm and 8pm, Saturday; 11am and 3pm, Sunday.

Venue: The Joburg Theatre, Loveday St, Braamfontein. Cost: from R50. Contact: 011 877 6800 or visit joburgtheatre.com The Smurfs in 3D premieres When the evil wizard Gargamel chases the tiny blue Smurfs out of their village, they tumble from their magical world and into ours – in fact, smack dab in the middle of New York City’s Central Park. At cinemas nationwide.

The Three Little Pigs Enjoy the adventures of the three little pigs along with your children. After mother pig finally pushes her three little ones out into the world, they have to work together to overcome the attentions of Biker Betty, the wolf. The siblings learn that it is their differences that make them stronger, while dealing with issues such as

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peer pressure, bullying and even internet safety. 24 September. Time: 11am. Venue: Barnyard Theatre Cresta, Shop L205, Cresta Shopping Centre, Randburg. Cost: R45. For more info: visit barnyardtheatre.co.za

playtime and story time Boskruin Library story time For preschoolers and primary school children.

Time: 3pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Kelly Ave, Boskruin. Cost: free. Contact: 011 792 7424 Bryanston Library story time Time: 2:30pm, every Wednesday. Venue: cnr New and Payne St, Bryanston. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 706 3518 Free building with Lego Younger children experience the joy of building their own theme-related creation from Lego blocks. The theme this month is “Cars”. 10 September.

Time: book your child’s two-hour spot from 9am. You can also register and book online.

Cost: R150. Venue: Engenius Toys, Fourways Mall. Contact: 011 465 5386, 083 625 8788 or visit engenius.co.za I-play There is a coffee shop for parents and children can enjoy the educationally stimulating play area. Time: 9am–5pm, Monday–Friday; 9am–1pm, Saturday.

Venue: I-play, Randpark Ridge. Cost: varies.

Contact: 083 704 2834 Jimmy Jungles Indoor adventure playground with supervised, secure facilities for toddlers and children from 6 months up to a maximum height of 1,4m. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: shop 60,

Stoneridge Centre, Modderfontein. Cost: children under 3 R25, older children R30 per hour. Contact: 011 452 2180 or visit jimmyjungles.co.za Jungle Tots Farmyard Children can interact with farm animals, enjoy a pony ride or play in the playground. Time: 1pm–5pm, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Venue: Glenferness, Kyalami. Cost: R30, includes refreshments. Contact Jenny: 083 377 7571 Norscot Manor Library story time Time: 3pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Norscot Manor Recreation Centre, Penguin Dr, Norscot Manor. Cost: free. Contact: 011 705 3323 Oki Doki This play venue offers a unique “tiny town” where children can play dressup. There is also a coffee shop for parents.

Time: 8:30am–4:30pm, Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: 66 6th St, Linden. Cost:

free entry for adults, children R20. Contact: 082 824 1089, info@oki-doki.co.za or visit oki-doki.co.za Olivedale Library story time Time: 10am, every Friday. Venue: President Fouché Dr, Olivedale. Cost: free. Contact: 011 462 6285 Parkview Library story time Suitable for children 4 years and older. Time: 2:30pm, every Monday. Venue: 51 Athlone Ave, Parkview. Cost: free. Contact: 011 646 3357 Roodepoort Library story time For children from 5 years old. Time: 10am, every Wednesday. Venue: cnr Berlandina and Hodgson St, Roodepoort. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 763 1031 Rosebank Library story time Time: 3:30pm, every Wednesday. Venue: 8 Keyes Ave, Rosebank. Cost: free. Contact: 011 442 8988

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calendar Sandton Library story time Time: 3:30pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Nelson Mandela Square, West St, Sandton. Cost: free. Contact: 011 282 5911 Serendipity Children can do T-shirt painting, sticky mosaics, canvas painting, scrapbooking, beading, make bugs, decorate hats, create helicopters, pirate ships, princess kits and more. Times: 9am–5pm, Tuesday–Friday; 8:30am–4:30pm, Saturday; 8:30am–4:30pm, Sunday and public holidays. Venue: 48 Keyes Ave, Rosebank.

Contact: 011 447 7386, serendipityplay@ gmail.com or visit serendipityplay.co.za Tabletop war games Children use detailed miniatures to fight fantasy battles.

Every dice roll determines the attack and defence, for which you score points. For children 7 years and older. 25 September.

Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Warfair, 35 Langermann Dr, Kensington. Cost: first session free, thereafter R450 once-off for a year’s membership. Contact: 082 431 2242 or fabiocosta@iburst.co.za Weltevreden Park Library story time For children 3–6 years old. Time: 3pm, every Thursday. Venue: Fern St, Weltevreden Park. Cost: free. Contact: 011 679 3406

sport and physical activities Abseiling and caving adventure Get togged up in an overall and helmet, enter the roof of a wild cave on a rope and spend time on a torch-lit underground adventure. No previous experience needed, but the minimum age is 8 years. Time: 11am–2pm, every Sunday. Venue: in the Cradle of Humankind Heritage area. On booking, directions are sent via email. Cost: adults R250, children R220 (all equipment included for a three-hour session).Contact Sandy: 082 486 2464, info@wildcaves.co.za or visit wildcaves.co.za Avalanche Hit the ice –­ go bumboarding or skiing on the 65m slope and drag lift. Instructors are on hand at all times for lessons and safety. Time: 9am–late, Monday–Sunday. Venue: Cedar Square, Fourways. Contact Lance: 011 467 2426

Ballet and creative dance classes

Ballet and creative dance classes Tippitoes Russian Ballet School now offers dance classes for children at Triba. Time: pre-ballet classes for children 5–6 years old 2pm–3pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Triba, 39 St Alban’s Ave, Craighall Park. Cost: 30-minute class R180 per month, one-hour class R360 per month. Contact: 071 179 6394, yana@tippitoesballet.com or visit tri-ba.com

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Sailing training

Horse riding lessons Lessons are offered for all ages, from beginner to advanced levels. Their instructors have SANEF Level 2 qualifications. They also organise pony camps and outrides. Time: varies, depends on booking. Venue: Aragon Stables, off Beyers Naudé Dr, Muldersdrift. Cost: varies. Contact: 082 666 3728 or visit aragonstables.co.za Ice Skate at Northgate Time: weekly 10am–5pm, and 7:30pm–10:30pm. Venue: Northgate Ice Arena, Northgate Shopping Centre. Cost: entrance R43, skate hire R20.

Tuesday night half price; Sunday night madness R30 for entrance and skate hire.

Contact: 011 794 8706 Joyride Family Fun Park Children drive, while their parents play passenger with a wide range of age-appropriate vehicles. All activities have been designed with safety in mind. For children 8 and older. Time: 12pm–8pm, every Saturday and Sunday.

Venue: plot 37, R550 Grasmere, Nettleton Rd. Cost: R30 entry fee. Contact: 082 723 9953 or visit joyridefunpark.co.za Randburg Raceway Race in specially designed imported racing karts. There are junior karts for 6–14 year olds that have been adjusted so that children can reach the pedals. Time: 11am–8pm, Monday– Saturday; 11am–6pm, Sunday. Venue: 272 Samantha St, Strijdom Park, Randburg.

Cost: varies. Contact: 011 792 2260, 082 780 5115, info@randburgraceway.co.za or visit randburgraceway.co.za Riding school Horse riding lessons for children of all levels and ages. They also organise outrides. Time and cost: varies. Venue: Sun Valley Stables, Plot 44, cnr Mane and Coach Rds, Sun Valley, Kyalami. Contact: 082 571 0309 or visit sunvalleystables.co.za Sailing training Programmes for children from the age of 7, for level one to advanced.

Children are taught by qualified coaches at a South African sailing academy. All equipment is supplied. Time: 9am–12pm, every Saturday. Venue: Victoria Lake Club, Victoria Lake, Refinery Rd, Germiston. Cost: varies. Contact: 083 626 7597 or shellee@ sailingcentre.co.za Stroke correction swimming classes Children, who can swim totally unaided, are taught in groups of four. The aim is to get your child swimming all four FINA strokes.

Diving, tumble turns and water games are magazine joburg

also included. For children 5 years and older.

Time: varies; lessons are 30 minutes long.

Venue: Aqua Marine Aquatics Academy, Livingston Place, Douglasdale, Fourways.

Cost: once a week R280 per month, twice a week R440 per month, three times a week R550 per month. Contact: 074 119 2774 or visit aquamarineaquatics.co.za Tennis clinic A full mini-tennis programme for children 3–6 years old and a half-day clinic for children 6–16 years old. The halfday clinic has a World Cup sports event every day as well as lucky draw prizes. 26–30 September. Time: mini-tennis 8am–9am, half-day clinic 9am–1pm. Venue: Lonehill Crawford Preparatory School, Lonehill.

Cost: mini-tennis R200 for a five-day clinic, R50 per day if space available; half-day clinic R800 for five-day clinic, R180 per day if space available. Contact: 083 443 3391 or michele@itatennis.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Adventure Boot Camp for women Lose weight and get fit. At this camp you’ll do circuits, running, weights, play games, do drills, cardio exercises, core exercises, Pilates and go on hikes. You practice one hour a day for three or five days a week and each course is four weeks long. 12 September.

Time, cost and venues vary. For more info: visit adventurebootcamp.co.za Animal communication workshop America’s famous animal whisperer, Amelia Kinkade, teaches you how to interpret the subtle cues that are the basis of animal communication. 10 and 11 September.

Time: 9:30am–5pm. Venue: Delta Environmental Centre, 3rd Rd, Delta Park, Victory Park. Cost: R1 800. Contact: 082 372 3388 or metaflexology@gmail.com Baby and child stimulation course This practical and hands-on course for nannies runs over two days. It is run by a child kineticist and covers the background and theory of stimulation and development, before moving on to age-appropriate activities and ways of interacting. The course covers development and stimulation for ages 0–24 months as well as 3–6 year olds.

15 and 22 September. Time: 8am–4pm.

Venue: Nannies in Training, 1 Spreeu Lane, Fourways. Cost: R1 200. Contact: 011 467 7900, nicky@nanniesintraining.co.za or visit nanniesintraining.co.za Body image and performance anxiety workshop This forum questions thoughts that create stress and fear. Byron Katie shows you simple, yet effective, techniques of selfrealisation and empowerment to counter these. 17 September. Time: 9am–12pm.

Venue: Body Talk System, Kensington.

Cost: R380. Contact: 072 202 6198 or theworkbodytalk@gmail.com Domestic worker cooking course This accredited course includes training on cooking family favourites and healthy homecooked meals. The course runs over five weekly sessions. 31 August–28 September.

Time: 8:30am–2pm, every Wednesday.

Venue: Domestic Bliss, 235 Jan Smuts Ave, Parktown North. Cost: R2 050. Contact: 011 447 5517 or 083 525 4992 magazine joburg

Snake course Courses are approved by FGASA (Field Guides Association of Southern Africa) as specialist courses and those who pass receive a certificate. Courses include “Snake ID and snakebite treatment”, “Venomous snake handling” and “Black mamba handling”. Dates supplied on booking. Time: “Snake ID and snakebite treatment” 8am–12:30pm, “Venomous snake handling” 2pm–5pm, “Black mamba handling“ 5:15pm–6:30pm. Venue: African Reptiles and Venom, William Nicol Dr (R511), Fourways.

Cost: “Snake ID and snakebite treatment” R925, “Venomous snake handling” R570, “Black mamba handling” R410. Contact: 083 448 8854

Naturally Yours talks The centre offers various talks on health subjects. 6 September: metal-free dentistry. 13 September: natural reproduction and fertility. 20 September: super foods/whole foods/organic athlete.

Time: 6:30pm–7:30pm. Venue: Naturally Yours Centre, cnr Main and Culross Rds, Bryanston. Cost: R100. Contact: 011 463 3604 or bryanston@weledahealth.co.za Parenting teenagers This course offers practical ways of helping parents interact with their children. It includes looking at misbehaviour, communication skills, who owns the problem, promoting selfesteem, the difference between praise and encouragement, problem solving, family meetings, discipline issues, learning from consequences, moods, eating habits and sexuality. 7–28 September. Time: 7pm–9pm, every Wednesday, over four weeks. Venue: The Family Life Centre, 1 Cardigan Rd, Parkwood. Cost: couples R540, single parent R410, manual (optional) R230. Contact: 011 788 4784 Parenting workshop in aid of Johannesburg Child Welfare This workshop offers insightful information for parents who aim to raise healthy, happy and well-adjusted children. For parents with children from Grade 3–Grade 12. 24 September. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Allister Rogan Auditorium, St Andrew’s School for Girls, St Andrew’s Ave, Senderwood. Cost: R250 per person including tea/coffee and a light lunch. Contact: 011 298 8567 or pr@jhbchildwelfare.org.za September 2011

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calendar Remarried – dealing with parenting issues This educational group is for parents in remarried families, both the step-parent and the biological parent. 6−27 September.

Time: 7pm–9pm, every Tuesday, over four weeks. Venue: The Family Life Centre, 1 Cardigan Rd, Parkwood. Cost: couples R460, single parent R360. Contact: 011 788 4784 Rose finger pruning For those who want to learn to get their roses ready to bloom in full in October. 3, 4, 10, 11, 17 and 18 September. Time: 10:30am; 2pm, 3 September. Venue: Ludwig’s Roses, Wallmannstahl/Pyramid offramp, No 163.

Cost: tbc. Contact: 012 544 0144 or talkingroses@ludwigsroses.co.za The Learning Point expos Leading high schools are available to answer questions regarding your child’s future. 7 September: 2pm–6pm Constantia Kloof Primary School, Liebenberg Rd, Constantia Kloof,

7–28 September – Parenting teenagers

Roodepoort. 8 September: 2pm–6pm St Peter’s College, Maxwell Dr, Sunninghill.

9–11 September: 9am–6pm, 9 September; 8:30am–5pm, 10 September; 9am–2pm, 11 September Boardman’s Court, Northgate Shopping Centre. Cost: free. Contact: 011 664 6044 or visit thelearningpoint.co.za

conversation. Mandela is played by Owen Sejake and FW de Klerk is played by Eric Nobbs. 30 August–23 September.

Time: 8:15pm, Tuesday–Friday; 6pm, Saturday. Venue: Old Mutual Theatre on the Square, off Rivonia Rd, Sandton City. Cost: R80–R120. For more info: visit theatreonthesquare.co.za

on stage and screen Comedy night at TSG Fourways Book a table and get ready for a hilarious stand-up comedy show. 7, 14, 21 and 28 September. Time: show starts at 8:30pm.

Venue: Leaping Frog Shopping Centre, Fourways. Cost: free entry. Contact Ciara: 011 465 7270/7224 or visit tsg4ways.co.za Flowers, Faeries and Frappé The stars of The South African Ballet Theatre perform excerpts from The Sleeping Beauty using two arenas, while you enjoy a multi-course menu and wine. This is a gala fundraiser for the company. 1 September. Time: 7pm.

Venue: Le Canard Restaurant, 163 Rivonia Rd, Sandton. Cost: R650, booking essential.

Contact: 011 884 4597 Footprints Fund More than 15 Barnyard artists come together on one stage to raise funds for the Footprints children’s home. 18 September. Time: 8pm. Venue: Barnyard Theatre Cresta, Shop L205, Cresta Shopping Centre, Randburg. Cost: R150.

For more info: visit barnyardtheatre.co.za Jazz Sundays at Cedar Square Enjoy live jazz music over a cup of coffee or something to eat. 4, 11, 18 and 25 September. Time:

out and about 3, 4, 10, 11, 17 and 18 September – Rose finger pruning

1pm–3pm. Venue: Cedar Square, Cedar Rd, Fourways. Cost: free. Contact: 011 465 0910 Happily Ever Laughter In this new comedy revue, award-winning comic madman Alan Committie returns to his one-man roots and explores everything from royal weddings to Osama Bin Laden. 14 September–23 October.

Time: 8pm, Wednesday–Friday; 5pm and 8pm, Saturday; 3pm, Sunday. Venue: Pieter Toerien Main Theatre, Montecasino. Cost: R100–R150. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com Last Laugh A rip-roaring local comedy featuring Barry Hilton, Krijay Govender, Joey Rasdien and Popps. 2 and 3 September.

Time: 8:30pm, Friday; 5pm and 8:30pm, Saturday. Venue: The Lyric Theatre, Gold Reef City. Cost: R95–R185. Book through Computicket: visit computicket.com The Prize of Peace It is the eve of their joint Nobel Peace Prize award ceremony and Mandela and FW de Klerk are in

Bone detectives: from CSI to Sterkfontein Scientist Brendon Billings uses a fun hands-on approach to introduce you to the hominid skeletal anatomy and the comparative techniques used to identify fossil remains. The tour ends with a walk through the Sterkfontein Cave site. Booking essential. 17 September. Time: 9am. Venue: Maropeng, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R350, including picnic. Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za Cap Classique celebration Showcasing the finest of South Africa’s Cap Classique producers and champagne houses, you can listen to live music while tasting bubbly. You are encouraged to wear black and white.

17 and 18 September. Time: 12pm–5pm.

Venue: Hyde Park Corner Shopping Centre.

Cost: R250, including a tasting glass and a book of bubbly vouchers. Contact: 084 207 3820 or 082 909 1116 Walk with a cheetah You have the opportunity to take an hour-long walk through a private game farm with Hoover or Dysan. No children under 16 or pregnant

family marketplace

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women allowed. Time: 8am or 11am, booking essential. Venue: Predator World, R556, near Sun City. Cost: R400. Contact: 014 552 6900 or visit predatorworld.co.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops

support groups Al-Anon Self-help, support group for anyone whose personal life is or has been affected by association with a problem drinker. For more info: visit alanon.org.za Childline SA Assistance from trained counsellors for abused children, young people and their families. For more info: visit childlinesa.org.za Drug addiction help Advice from trained professional counsellors. For more info: visit addictionhelp.co.za Heart and Stroke Foundation An organisation established to reduce the incidence of heart disease and stroke. For more info: visit heartfoundation.co.za Life Line South Africa A 24-hour crisis intervention service and emotional first aid station that offers free, confidential telephone counselling for victims of rape, trauma, HIV/Aids and a range of other crises. For more info: visit lifeline.org.za Post separation and divorce support group An ongoing support group for people dealing with the break up of a relationship or marriage. The group is overseen by a clinical psychologist. Time: 5pm, every Thursday. Venue: The Family Life Centre, 1 Cardigan Rd, Parkwood. Cost: R120 per session. Contact: 011 788 4784

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Quiz Evening Bring the family and friends and enjoy a three-course meal, a quiz and a charity auction in aid of Claw (Community-Led Animal Welfare), which provides desperately needed veterinary services to dogs and cats, as well as vital animal care education to pet owners in the poorest township areas. 9 September, RSVP by 25 August.

Time: 7pm. Venue: Walkhaven Dog Park, Plot 77, Zwartkop. Cost: R130. Contact: 072 455 7117 or visit walkhaven.co.za

Sadag South Africa’s largest mental health support and advocacy group. Their website will help you find comprehensive mental health information and resources. For more info: visit sadag.org Speak Easy A support group for people who stutter and their family members. For more info: visit speakeasy.org.za

Baby boot camp family class Bring your baby in a pram, your toddler and husband and learn how to exercise together. Enjoy refreshments and surprise giveaways afterwards. For moms and dads with babies from 6 weeks and children up to 5 years old. 17 September. Time: 10am–11am.

Venue: Lonehill Park, Calderwood Dr, Lonehill. Cost: free. Contact: 082 462 7519 or tarryn.griebenow@babybootcamp.com Baby food cooking class Learn how to make tasty and healthy baby food, why food texture is important in speech development and how to make feeding time fun. 10 September. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: Orange Grove; full details sent on booking.

Cost: R60–R80, including food to take home.

Contact Kerry: 083 293 6522 or Michelle: 082 330 9887, scrumptiousfoods@ymail. com or visit scrumptiousfoods.net FasTrack Tots The programme introduces toddlers to the classroom experience.

FasTrack Tots uses engaging lessons that involve songs, movement and handson activities. For children 2–3½ years old. 6–27 September. Time: 3pm–4pm, every Tuesday; 11:30am–12:30pm, every Saturday. Venue: FasTrackids Fourways, Shop 7, Broadacres Shopping Centre. Cost: R680 per month. Contact: 011 467 0230 or visit fastrackids.com/fourways

Feeding your baby Clinic sister Elizabeth Beavon gives a talk on how to move your baby from purée to textured and finger foods. 7 September. Time: 10am–12pm.

Venue: Triba, 39 St Alban’s Ave, Craighall Park. Cost: R230, includes coffee/tea and cake. Contact: 082 586 1924 Moms and Babes Interactive workshops for parents with babies from 2–12 months.

Workshops include guided play with ageappropriate toys, movement to music and sensory stimulation. Venue: several venues throughout Gauteng. Contact: 011 469 1530 or visit momsandbabes.co.za Moms and Tots Interactive workshops for parents with tots from 1–3½ years.

Workshops include music, stories, crafts, life skills, messy play, gross motor activities and some free play. Venue: several venues throughout Gauteng. Contact: 011 469 1530 or visit momsandtots.co.za Mothers and Miracles Moms, caregivers or dads with babies from 3 months to 3 years old can join these weekly 90-minute classes. These workshops help in several developmental areas, fine motor skills, play time, activities, sensory and cognitive activities, and outdoor play. Time, venues and cost vary. Contact Boskruin: 011 792 0402 or 082 391 9898, Highlands North: 011 440 0027 or 082 847 9994, Lonehill: 011 465 0248 or 084 371 0860, Olivedale: 011 704 2665 or 083 414 0227, Roodekrans: 079 890 0573, Roosevelt Park: 082 577 4716 and Sandton: 083 654 7779

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calendar Venue: Verity Park, cnr 5th Ave and 13th St, Parkhurst. Cost: free. Contact: 011 788 4510 Parkview Library story time For babies from as young as 6 months. Time: 10am, every Monday. Venue: 51 Athlone Ave, Parkview. Cost: free. Contact: 011 646 3357

support groups

Clover Mama Afrika

Splashy Tots Parents and their babies aged between 6½ months and 2½ years swim together in an indoor, heated pool under the guidance of an instructor. Time: varies. Venue: 25 Glenian Rd, Magaliessig, Fourways. Cost: one 20-minute lesson per week R750 per term; two 20-minute lessons per week R1 500 per term. Contact: 082 574 1346 Swimming classes Spend time in the pool with your baby to teach him water familiarisation and water safety skills. Time and cost: varies, depending on booking.

Venue: Meyersdal Aqua Centre, 60 Philip Engelbrecht Ave, Meyersdal. Contact: 071 993 2441 or visit meyersdalaquacentre.co.za Top Tots Learn how to keep your child stimulated and happy with fun, interactive exercises. Venues nationwide. Cost: varies.

Contact Koren: 082 459 5860 or visit toptots.co.za

playtime and story time Clamber Club This programme aims to stimulate your little one in all spheres of development. Toddler classes are divided into groups of 1−3 year olds. The baby group is for children 2−12 months old.

Dates and times vary according to branch.

Venues: branches throughout Gauteng.

Cost: varies. Contact Rosa: 011 025 5825, headoffice@clamberclub.com or visit clamberclub.com Emmarentia Library story time For babies and toddlers. Time: 2:30pm, every Wednesday. Venue: cnr Barry Hertzog Ave and Greenhill Rd, Emmarentia. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 646 5821 Jungle Tots This is a fun-filled morning for groups of 2–3 year olds or 3–4 year olds.

There is a wide range of quality indoor and outdoor equipment where toddlers can play in a safe environment. Time and cost varies. Venues: several in Gauteng. Visit their website for contact details. For more info: visit jungletots.co.za Parkhurst Library story time For toddlers from age 2. Time: 2:30pm, every Monday.

Cleft friends Support for parents with babies born with cleft lips and palates. For more info: visit cleftfriends.co.za La Leche League Breast-feeding support group. For more info: visit llli.org Neobirth Pregnancy Care Centre Support for crisis pregnancies, abortion, miscarriages and adoption. For more info: visit neobirth.org.za PNDSA They provide information and support for women who are experiencing postnatal depression, and their families. For more info: visit pndsa.org.za South African Multiple Birth Association Provide moral and practical support to parents or guardians of multiple births. Contact: 0861 432 432

how to help Clover Mama Afrika The Clover Mama Afrika project seeks to assist and support communities by enabling and empowering them so they can help themselves and those around them. The project’s main involvement is with women who look after abused, abandoned, orphaned and HIV/Aids children as well as the elderly. Teaming up with Food Creations and Foodlink Cookery School, Clover sponsors basic and advanced cooking and baking courses where members are taught skills. These courses have been the inspiration for the Mamas, with some starting catering services. Mama Emily Duda is the latest person to open up her own Mama Afrika Home Bakes store on 1 September.

Time: 8:30am–4pm. Venue: Garden World, Beyers Naudé Dr, Muldersdrift. Cost: varies.

Contact: 011 956 3003 or for more info: visit mama-afrikanews.co.za Elephant Sanctuary They believe in the power of responsible education and that the children of today are the decision makers of tomorrow. They need committed assistance from individuals and companies to help fund the continuous education of children at the sanctuary. If you or your company would like to ensure the sustainability of these educational programmes, you can sponsor a child or a school. You will get a certificate stating your sponsorship and the name of the child or the school that you sponsored.

Contact Craig: babyjumbo@mweb.co.za or visit elephantsanctuary.co.za

Quads4Quads This off-road motorcycle event runs from Johannesburg to Durban and back. During the trip they raise funds for The QuadPara Association of South Africa (QASA). The event starts at Carnival City in Johannesburg on 29 September and ends at Cane Cutters in Ballito on 2 October. The return ride leaves Ballito on 6 October and arrives at Carnival City on 9 October. You can help by giving the event exposure, by donating goods such as food or blankets that are despatched to needy communities along the route, corporate gifts for an auction or by sponsoring riders per kilometre. Riders must book by 6 September. For more info and booking forms: 083 314 2203, familyadventures@mweb.co.za, foleyg@ mweb.co.za or visit familyadventures.co.za Santa Shoebox Project They collect Christmas gifts for children from vulnerable social backgrounds. The shoeboxes are dispatched to more than 300 children’s homes, orphanages and other childcare institutions nationwide. The essence of the project is “teach your child the joy of giving” and donors are encouraged to involve their children in selecting a specific child and adding to the box their own personalised gifts according to the guidelines. Registration online opens 1 September and shoeboxes are dropped off at central distribution points between 21 October and 6 November. For more info: info@santashoebox.co.za or visit thesantashoeboxproject.wordpress.com

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

Princess Alice Adoption Home The home houses up to 30 orphaned babies who are eligible for adoption. Their secondary function is to serve pregnant girls in crisis. The home becomes their sanctuary for anything from a few days to a few months, while they wait out their pregnancy to give the baby up for adoption or keep it.

There is a host of ways that you can help, from organising fundraisers to helping with cooking, driving and gardening. Or you can supply goods as stipulated on their wish list. For more info: visit princessaliceadoptionhome.org

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to joburg@childmag.co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971. Information must be received by 6 September for the October issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za Santa Shoebox Project

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it’s party time

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last laugh

a rollicking roller-coaster ride SAM WILSON and her sons experience the exhilarating ups and downs of overseas travel.

i

just spent a month in Europe with the family. (Actually, I was saying, “we summered in Europe”, but even close friends started throwing things at me, so I decided to rephrase.)

Now, we are not big travellers. Hell, I get homesick going on overnight business trips. But my sister-in-law had a baby early in the year, so we’ve been stowing our journo pennies in a big jar so that we could all go, pat the baby and make a family round trip of it.

As this was our sons’ first time overseas, we asked them what they most wanted to see while staying with their Wimbledon-based Uncle Quent, and then their Tante Tina in Hamburg.

“The Wombles! Hamburgers!” giggled the boys.

“You don’t think we actually managed to save up enough money, do you?” said Andreas, crossly. “Now, be serious. We have to plan our itinerary.”

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“Well, I want to go to London to see the Rosetta Stone,” said Benj, surprising us all. “Isn’t that in Egypt?” I said, before getting silenced by what I like to call the Eyeball Roll.

“And I hear roller coasters are better overseas,” said Joe. There was something I could work with. “I’m in,” I said to Joe. “Let Dad take Benj to Egypt. You and me, let’s ride some roller coasters.”

We went to Wimbledon first. The Wimbledon Common, to be exact, where a fantastic movie-style funfair was cranking out its wares in the middle of the pouring rain.

“Come on. Let’s be brave. Let’s go on that spider-like ride over there.”

“That one called The Extreme?” Joey asked, doubtfully.

“Yep, that one. How bad can it be?

I mean, we can see the ride’s plug, for heaven’s sake.” I cajoled, hoicking Joe into the seat next to me.

Ten minutes later, Joey was patting me on the back as I sat shaking under a stand of sopping candyfloss.

“That w... was... “ I gibbered, “So. Very.

H... h... horrid.”

“I didn’t expect it to spin upside down either,” said Joey, sounding shaky but much more composed than his mother.

“Especially not while the wet seats themselves were rotating on their own axes. That was unbelievably hard core.”

We recovered reasonably well; Joey by discovering the Dodgem cars and me by, well, having a small cry and inhaling two huge packets of greasy chips. (I have always found carbs very calming.)

But this experience had a really interesting result. Joey and I have now become immune to roller coasters, of all shapes and sizes.

I know this as our lovely German relatives kindly spent the next three weeks showing us literally every roller coaster

up and down the country. (We had put in an early request.) If it looped like a spiral straw, free fell from a great height, spun like a Tasmanian devil, smacked into a pool of jelly or blared Wagner while turning you inside out... we got strapped into it.

We just stepped nonchalantly out again, high-fived and rejoined the queue. I have never felt so cool in all my life.

So, my sage holiday advice? Go see the Rosetta Stone, Stonehenge, Woodhenge (who knew?), cathedrals, plays, towers, castles and landscapes – but also make sure you take the time to scare the pants off yourself, in a new and quirky way. Who knows what new things you may learn about yourself before you need to repack the laundry?

Sam Wilson is the Editor-in-Chief of Women24, Parent24 and Food24. She thinks the British Museum should really give a lot of that stuff back to the countries they took it from.

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PHOTOGRAPH: Andreas SpÄth

Joe, Sam and Benj