Child magazine | JHB July 2015

J O B U R G ’ S

b e s t

gu i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

banish

boredom

games for indoor and outdoor fun

dressing

dilemmas fussy, fickle and fashion conscious

exploring the

emotional life of boys

the

bumper holiday take your family on a road trip

www.childmag.co.za

July 2015

free

issue

the positive side of single parenting creating the ideal baby sleep environment is parenting killing your marriage?

health

education

entertainment

Hunter House P U B L I S H IN G

Publisher

this month we are taking you all on holiday

Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • joburg@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

We have filled our pages with

inspiration, banishing boredom with

indoor and outdoor

for your children to play on their own, with

games

friends or the whole family (page 16). We’ve abandoned routine and headed out of town for an historical road trip with

educational detours (page

29). If Ralph Waldo Emerson is to be trusted, it is a “happy talent to know how to play”, so we’ve packed our What’s On in July section (page 34) with

wonderful ways to fill your days. And because the real joy of cooking

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za Louise Topping • studio@childmag.co.za

is in the preparing and sharing of delicious “food for your brood” (page 20), we’ve made life a little easier with recipes for simple snacks and suppers, which you can trust to turn out winning

Advertising

winter warmers. On the

nights Eskom turns out the lights, find a book in our bookcase (page 32),

Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

crank up the LEDs and let the

Client Relations Yvette Dreyer-Ferreira • jhbsales@childmag.co.za

simple pleasure of a good story

entertain your family for a quiet night in…

Subscriptions and Circulation Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: BROOKE FASANI

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

Lisa Mc Namara, Publisher

Child magazine Online

Joburg’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing,

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Bentley Office Park, cnr Rivonia and Wessel Rd, Rivonia. Tel: 011 807 6449,

Online Content Manager Marc de Chazal • online@childmag.co.za

PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 5, First Floor, fax: 011 234 4971, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Joburg’s Child magazineTM. We

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welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy. The magazine,

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or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher. We take care to ensure our articles are accurate and balanced but cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage that may

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arise from reading them.

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July 2015

3

contents july 2015

24 3 a note from lisa

health

6 over to you readers respond

10 realignment Marc de Chazal finds

15 reader’s blog Mary Hart shares her painful journey of divorce

features 16 challenge accepted Tamlyn Vincent gives you ideas for indoor and outdoor educational, home-made games

18 boys don’t cry we should nurture healthy emotions in boys, says Jocelyn Warrington

20 comforting crowd-pleasers mouth-watering dishes to share with family and friends from Sam Gates’ new book, Food for your Brood

22 flying solo why being a single mom works for Jocelyn Warrington and her daughter

24 dressing without drama Anél Lewis gives tips for when getting dressed in the morning turns the bedroom into a battlefield

26 is parenting ruining marriage? raising children can strain your relationship with your partner.

Samantha Page investigates

out if chiropractic can treat common childhood ailments

regulars 8 pregnancy news – second baby blues Catherine Goldfain shares her experience of when she was expecting baby number two

9 best for baby – tula tu, tula baba how to create the ideal sleep environment for your baby.

By Marina Zietsman

12 dealing with difference – when words get stuck childhood apraxia can seriously affect a child’s development, writes Glynis Horning

29 resource – discover clarens and parys take the family on a road trip to these two historical towns.

Compiled by Simone Jeffery

32 a good read for the whole family 34 what’s on in july 46 finishing touch when art projects loom, Anél Lewis wants to run a mile

classified ads 44 let’s party 46 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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July 2015

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

EARTHCHILD Clothing earthchild.co.za

EARTHCHILD Clothing earthchild.co.za

shutterstock.com

Cotton On Kids cottonon.co.za

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July 2015

5

letters

over to you free from facebook The May issue of Child magazine is a particularly good one, fully covering so many vital issues – and I have only read as far as page 23. I’d just read the excellent and relevant “leaving facebook” when my landline rang – why had I not responded to an earlier sms yet? It was 7:15am, before I’d switched on the phone, giving night-time respite from the constant pings and rings – often advertisements. We have allowed the expectation to develop, and become firmly entrenched, that our cellphones (possession of which I am beginning to think must be law) must be in hand and on hand and instantly responded to 24/7.

Recently at a children’s theatre performance the lights went out due to load shedding. The actors valiantly carried on, using emergency lights on stage. Against the complete darkness in the audience, one could see little lights everywhere as the moms were busily tapping on their phones. I was appalled at this display of rudeness towards the performers. What example are these parents setting for children? If something doesn’t really interest you, just ignore it, get out your phone and amuse yourself?

We want our children to be attentive and good mannered. We fear they will be demanding, “spoilt brats”, yet demonstrate that an immediate response

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July 2015

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

is one’s absolute right. They see us being constantly inattentive, with all our focus on phones. Monkey see, monkey do, moms!

Anonymous

a place to nest Early on in your pregnancy your doctor will make a booking for you at a hospital, nursing home or birthing centre. You may be asked what your preferences are, but doctors usually recommend the hospital most convenient for them, or to which they have some form of affiliation.

You should, however, be ready with your questions before you allow the booking to be made. Of course, many towns in South Africa have only one maternity home or hospital. If you have a choice, ask questions, and if they are answered satisfactorily and your needs are met, then this is the place to have your baby.

Cannon Nolutshyngu

it’s not that bad In response to the article “constantly queasy” (May 2015), I want to offer sympathy to all moms who have suffered, or are suffering, from nausea and vomiting in pregnancy (NVP). NVP sounds terrible, and anyone reading this article must be terrified to fall pregnant. I am 34

years old and I’m a mother of two children. My son is now eight years old and my daughter three. I am on severe medication for anxiety and bipolar disorder. I also had a hiatus hernia repaired when I was 20 years old. I suffer badly with irritable bowl syndrome, which in turn causes reflux and indigestion. I suffered from many of the factors in this article. I also had cravings, from cheeseburgers to pies. But here’s the catch – I was fine. So please, moms-to-be, don’t be anxious. It will be all right.

Anonymous

importance of breast-feeding I read your article “feeding on demand” (May 2015), and I was quite disappointed to see that breastfeeding on demand was not highlighted separately from other forms of infant feeding. Breast-feeding on demand is necessary for the healthy development of babies, both emotionally and physically. Many women find breast-feeding difficult in South Africa due to various factors. This kind of article just adds to the confusion.

I am concerned about your source-pool for information being so small. Please consider speaking to La Leche League concerning breast-feeding. They are a worldwide

magazine joburg

organisation that provides scientifically-backed and medically-approved breast-feeding information to the World Health Organisation. They also offer the experience of mothers gathered from over half a century.

Cecilia Teixeira

thanks A heartfelt thank-you from our staff, learners and parents for this very informative magazine that gets delivered to our school each month. Our educators find it extremely helpful when looking for suitable school outings for their learners, and your articles are very informative.

S. Modan, Star College The latest copy of Child magazine has just landed on my desk. Thanks very much for the article on blood donation.

What a well-written article. I’m sure we’ll get more people visiting our donor centres and phoning us to find out where they can go and donate blood.

Sifiso Khoza, Regional Marketing Manager (SANBS)

overcoming dyslexia I have a 15-year-old daughter who has ADD and have been on the same roller-coaster ride as the letter writer’s child in “overcoming dyslexia” (May 2015). When she was in Grade 3, I applied for her to go to a government remedial school, as this was all I could afford as a widow. In Grade 6 I moved her to a small private school, as the other remedial school had no space. She was unhappy, but decided to give it a Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine

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try. After a year, I took her back to the primary school where she previously was and she returned to her happy self.

In Grade 8, she was finally accepted to the government remedial school after years of begging and pleading. The problem was, she had already spent a term in her new high school and just loved it. She had made some lovely new friends too, which is a problem ADD children struggle with. When she was accepted to the remedial school, I thought my prayers had been answered; however, this was when the nightmare began. My daughter was so miserable.

She made no friends and hated school and as a result, life. Things at home were extremely tense, so I went back to the previous high school, and told them what we were experiencing. The principal was so accommodating and emphasised how important it is to have an emotionally stable and happy child and that she was welcome back.

She has been back for just over a year and is in such a good space. She even won the prize for commitment and determination at prize-giving at the end of last year. The funny thing is her marks weren’t much better at the remedial school. She is given extra time for her exams and so far she has passed every year. I am extremely grateful to the school and the principal for giving her another chance to be happy.

Vanessa Viljoen

online comments in response to “mother’s guilt syndrome” Oh, how I relate to this article... I just want to be there for my children. I’m thinking of all these plans to just make

more time for them. And I spoil them so much when I’m with them... trying to make up for the times I’m working.

But I guess, in our own way, we are the best mothers we can be.

Nicole Erasmus in response to “dads and daughters” I love this topic and I fully agree that dads are so important in their children’s lives. Being a mother of two girls, I see every day how they miss their father, who has chosen to be absent since we ended our relationship six months ago. I have tried so many times to make him be part of the girls’ lives, but he comes up with excuses all the time. It pains me that he is behaving this way and my girls are suffering in the process. I don’t know what else to do...

Anonymous

on twitter This is really an awesome magazine for all parents – full of children’s events and fun family moments.

Love it.

Bontle Motingoe subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions.

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We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

July 2015

7

pregnancy news

second baby

blues Being pregnant with baby number two can actually be more of a roller coaster than the first time round, discovers CATHERINE GOLDFAIN.

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July 2015

Apart from battling terrible nausea and heartburn (which I never experienced first time round), the full-time effort of entertaining an active toddler while squeezing in some freelance work was enough to finish me off. As for naps – there was no chance!

Support was tough to find. My husband thought “she knows the drill” and I felt very alone. We’d just started feeling like a family unit – and I mourned the potential loss of that closeness. The financial implications of a second child also weighed heavily on us both.

On the flip side, there was great comfort in knowing what to expect. The labour and birth went off without a hitch, mainly because I’d been there before. And Damien (5) and Alabama (3) are now best of friends.

Despite some initial jealousy issues from big brother, our family is closer than ever – and there is more than enough love and attention to go around. As for the money?

Not so much! Your second pregnancy can feel like a roller coaster sometimes, but be warned: it’s after the birth that the real circus comes to town.

second pregnancy tips • Spend time with your first born, because things will never be the same again.

• Join online forums to get support from other moms and share experiences.

• Buy a gift for the older sibling, which baby can “give” to them in hospital.

magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

e

verything about my first pregnancy was perfect: from the romance surrounding our “shotgun” wedding, through to long lunches with my husband, en route back from each check-up. I dedicated hours to preparing our baby’s room, ooh-ed and aah-ed over bonnets and booties – and lazed by the poolside like a beached whale. In my (abundant) spare time, I trawled websites to unveil the mysteries of childbirth.

Fast-track to round two and you’d see me and my belly heaving a full trolley (complete with wailing toddler) around the supermarket. Ravenous, I’d scavenge for halfeaten, gob-sodden rice cakes, stuffed into my overfilled handbag-slash-nappy-bag. I prayed my bladder would hold out beyond the till.

My method of avoiding meltdowns was to placate my son with a banana at the start of our “journey”, the remnants of which were smeared all over the trolley by the end of it. With toddler and trolley in tow, I was then free to go and throw up in the public toilets.

A second pregnancy is not for sissies. And the smaller the age gap, the bigger the reality check. In my case, the 21-month gap meant there was no “preparing” my first born for the reality of a sibling. He was simply too young to understand. Try explaining to a barely babbling 18-monthold why dive-bombing Mom’s belly is a no-no.

I puzzled over how I was going to split my attention once the new baby came along. Would my first born ever accept another member of the family? I dreaded that initial separation during the birth – and wondered how he’d survive the “abandonment”. I felt like a traitor, with him blissfully unaware of how his life was about to change.

best for baby

t

he principle of sleep for newborns is sleep safety, and for babies from one year old it’s sleep comfort. Here are some tips to ensure a good night’s sleep for all.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

snuggle up Meg Faure, co-author of Sleep Sense and Baby Sense (Metz Press), says bedding for a newborn up to the age of one year old should ideally only consist of a sleeping bag (winter and summer).

“Pillows, blankets and cot bumpers are all hazards for suffocation,” says Faure.

But you can have a very small comforting blanket or cloth in the cot. Children get pillows when they move into their own big bed (from the age of three) and this includes toys and comfort blankets. Faure adds that babies under one year old need a firm mattress. “And always buy a new mattress – don’t pass mattresses on to the next generation.” You should also use 100% cotton for bedding and sleepwear as it controls temperature better than other materials. Faure reminds us that newborns are used to the smell of their moms. For comfort you can put your T-shirt or another piece of clothing close to the cot.

lights out Bright lights are a signal for the body to wake up, while dim lights signal that we should

magazine joburg

tula tu, tula baba Many things can affect a baby’s quality of sleep, including environmental factors.

MARINA ZIETSMAN finds out how to create the ideal sleep setting for your baby.

hot and cold Researchers still struggle to come up with the exact temperature that people sleep best in, but it is true that when you sleep, your body temperature cools down, and if the room is too hot, your body has to work harder to cool down, which may result in you struggling to sleep. Infants should not be overheated as it increases the risk of Sids. “Whatever you do, try and keep temperature between 18°C and 22°C,” advises Faure. “In South Africa, it’s not always easy, so if it’s too hot, let your baby sleep in a vest.”

no peep

sleep. The moment the body realises it’s time to sleep, it starts producing melatonin, a calming hormone. If there is too much light, little or no melatonin is produced.

Even televisions, laptops, smartphones, and tablets can inhibit the production of melatonin. Faure suggests that a baby should sleep in complete darkness. “Night

lights should only be used for babies from the age of 18 months. This is when children develop their imagination and nightmares come into the equation,” she says. If you have to use a light during the night for feeding or a nappy change, keep the light as dim as possible, or switch on a light in another room, for some visibility.

Your baby is used to the noise he heard in your womb, so complete silence is actually abnormal. In her best-selling book Your Baby and Child (Dorling Kindersley Limited), Penelope Leach writes: “A sleeping baby need not mean a hushed household. If everybody creeps about and talks in whispers while he is asleep, there may come a time when he cannot sleep unless they do. It is therefore important to let him sleep through whatever sound level is normal for your household.” Faure suggests a lullaby before bedtime to create a pre-sleep signal, and to create white noise at night. You can buy an app that creates this or turn the radio to soft static.

July 2015

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health

realignment Can children with colic, reflux and other common childhood ailments benefit from chiropractic treatment?

MARC DE CHAZAL investigates.

c

hances are good that either you or your child will visit a chiropractor at some time, usually for complaints such as back and neck pain or headaches.

Chiropractic treatment in selected musculoskeletal conditions has proven effective for many patients, but can it make a difference as a complementary therapy if your child has stable asthma, colic or other nonmusculoskeletal illnesses?

Common childhood ailments such as these are treated by chiropractors on a regular basis. Renee Bruning recalls taking Ben, now nine years old, to a chiropractor when he was only 10 days old. “He had colic and reflux, and as a first-time mom, I was beside myself,” says Renee. “My husband, Paul, and I really believed in chiropractic and a family friend from the US told us that chiropractors can help to relieve these conditions, so off I went to one in Joburg who only treats children. She calmly talked me through it and showed me the exact pressure she would use on Ben on my own body. It’s incredibly gentle, and I held him the entire time.”

The reflux stopped almost immediately and Renee recalls that Ben slept very well after each half-hour consultation. They had five in total over a month period and Ben’s colic eventually subsided. Renee admits that it’s difficult to say if he would have recovered from the colic during the same period or not, but she did notice a difference in her child after each treatment.

Forbes believes that conditions such as colic, allergies, asthma and recurrent chest and ear infections respond well to chiropractic therapy. “A chiropractic adjustment of the upper cervical spine (neck) helps to drain the fluid build-up in the Eustachian tube, which prevents and treats recurrent ear infections,” claims Forbes.

According to the medical journal Paediatrics & Child Health, several reports have been published on major neurological complications in adults resulting from cervical manipulations, but reports of paediatric complications are few. The journal does state the following: “Of greater concern is the possibility that chiropractors may attempt to treat acute paediatric conditions, leading to a delay in appropriate medical therapy.”

Affirming Renee’s experience with Ben over nine years ago, Forbes assures us that paediatric chiropractic is safe, effective and gentle. “The amount of pressure used to adjust a child is the same as you would use to check if a tomato is ripe,” says Forbes.

“In some cases, we use less pressure than a parent does when they lift their child.”

Paediatrics & Child Health advises medical doctors to inquire whether neck manipulations or forceful thrusts have been used on children by chiropractors, and if herbal or homeopathic preparations have been given, but Forbes says we have a greater chance of being struck by lightning than suffering a complication from spinal manipulation. Still, it’s clear that physicians question whether chiropractic is effective in treating the variety of conditions for which it is used, especially for the paediatric age group. If anecdotal evidence is good enough for you as a parent, then it may be worth looking into for your child.

The purpose of chiropractic is to restore and

maintain normal functioning of the nervous

system to enable the body and organs to heal themselves without any drugs or surgery.

Chiropractic was first established as a discipline in 1895, when DD Palmer, an American magnetic healer, believed that diseases are often caused by subluxations (partial dislocations) of the vertebrae, which in turn impact the nervous system. When it comes to children, chiropractors believe that the birth process often results in spinal trauma, which they claim can lead to conditions such as colic. After medicine and dentistry, chiropractic is the third-most used primary health care profession in the world, and therefore the most widely used form of alternative or complementary medicine. In South Africa, chiropractors are expected to have an MTech degree in chiropractic, a five-year course offered by Durban University of Technology and the University of Johannesburg. The Allied Health Professions Council of South Africa requires chiropractors to also complete an internship before they are registered to practice as a doctor of chiropractic.

Dr Lauren Forbes, a chiropractor practising in Pretoria, says that many medical doctors and paediatric nurses refer babies and older children to her practice. “Parents usually bring children to me for spinal check assessments after birth and also for infantile colic, reflux and torticollis (abnormal asymmetrical neck spasm),” says Forbes.

“Misalignments in the spine can occur inter-uterine, during child birth or later from tumbles and falls as babies develop, which can irritate the nervous system if left untreated. The purpose of chiropractic is to restore and maintain normal functioning of the nervous system to enable the body and organs to heal themselves without any drugs or surgery.”

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July 2015

stay informed There does seem to be agreement across the board, however, that detecting and treating spinal dysfunction as early as possible can prevent it from becoming a chronic condition later on. And this is where chiropractors have played a substantive role.

Forbes is of the opinion that chiropractic also plays a vital role in preventative health care. “During the first year, a child’s spine grows almost 50%,” explains Forbes.

“It’s also during this time that the secondary curvature of the neck and lower back develop. Spinal growth and development continues until the mid-twenties, during which time there is great potential for spinal trauma or functional abnormalities like muscle imbalances and scoliosis, which can be managed and treated effectively if detected early.”

Chiropractic is widely used, so you’re certainly not delving into unchartered waters if you decide that your child may benefit from chiropractic treatment for nonmusculoskeletal conditions. But an open and honest discussion with your family doctor before considering any alternative health care route seems like a good idea. After all, parents have a heavy burden to bear when it comes to the health of their children. It’s always best to make informed choices. magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

restoring balance

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July 2015

11

dealing with difference

when words get stuck Childhood apraxia of speech is a little-understood condition that can seriously affect a child’s ability to communicate and develop.

a

t two and a half, Evan Warner was a happy, healthy toddler. That he could say only a few words “and not very well” did not alarm his mother, Cape Town management accountant Deidre Warner. “His older sister was chattering away by that age, but we’re told children are individuals and boys start talking later.”

A bout of bronchitis changed her world. It was Sunday, and a paediatrician at her local hospital sorted out Evan’s chest infection then casually remarked: “Your son can’t talk. Has anyone told you he’s autistic?”

“I nearly fell off my chair!” Deidre says. “I cried for a week until I could get to see another paediatrician.”

That paediatrician ruled out what Deidre learnt later is a common early misdiagnosis for her son’s condition, and advised speech therapy. But her son would not allow the

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July 2015

therapist to touch his face to help him form sounds (“another clue,” she sighs), and referred him to a psychologist, who finally diagnosed the problem: childhood apraxia of speech (CAS). Like most parents, Deirdre had never heard of CAS. But in the three years since, it has become an intimate part of her life, as she’s wrestled with this perplexing, underresearched condition – and started raising awareness and lobbying government for educational support.

defining the problem Evan’s roundabout route to diagnosis is typical for CAS children, and the cost can be high – not just in frustration and worry for parents, but in the delay it brings in beginning therapy, says Joburg neurodevelopmental paediatrician Dr Gillian de Vos.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

Learn to spot it and start therapy early. By GLYNIS HORNING

Apraxia or dyspraxia (milder apraxia) is still a poorly understood neurological disorder – sufferers find it difficult or impossible to make certain movements, although their muscles are normal. With apraxia of speech, they struggle to move their lips, tongue and jaw muscles to form words.

The problem is in the brain, which is unable to plan and tell these muscles how to move to produce the necessary sounds, explains De Vos. The diagnosis of CAS is compounded when, as is often the case, a child has additional related problems. Deidre, for example, learnt that Evan also has hypersensitivity – the reason he flinched from the speech therapist’s touch.

The cause of CAS is rarely clear, and can be associated with a range of brain or neurological conditions, brain injury, or a genetic disorder, syndrome or metabolic condition, De Vos says. “It is more common, for instance, in children with autism.”

Like many speech and language disorders, signs of CAS include little or no babbling from seven to 12 months, late first words (after 12 to 18 months), limited use of consonants and vowels, frequent omission of sounds, difficulty with certain classes of sounds, and difficulty

understanding the child’s speech, says Joburg speechlanguage therapist Gillian Shaw-Ridley.

But for a diagnosis of CAS, more specific signs are also needed (see “common symptoms of CAS”). Assessment must be made by a paediatric neurologist, child psychologist or speech-language therapist experienced in diagnosing CAS to rule out other possible causes – including autism (where the child battles to interact), a receptive language impairment (where they battle to understand language), or low oral motor tone resulting in muscle weakness.

There’s currently no convincing research showing that medications, vitamins or other supplements improve speech in children who have CAS.

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sound solutions

CAS is a chronic condition requiring early and intensive intervention. There’s currently no convincing research showing that medications, vitamins or other supplements improve speech in children who have it, says De Vos. Treatment focuses on speech therapy, usually combined with occupational therapy. Exercises often include teaching the child how to produce individual sounds and speech of gradually increasing complexity, working with rhymes and melodies, and using multisensory approaches, such as the therapist touching the child’s face and teaching the child to watch and imitate oral movements, says Shaw-Ridley.

common symptoms of CAS • Difficulty putting sounds, syllables or words together in the right order • Difficulty saying long and complex words • Repeatedly attempting to pronounce words • Visibly struggling to form words (groping movements with lips and tongue) • Saying a word or sound correctly one moment but not the next • Using wrong stresses or inflections (“BUH-nanuh” for “buh-NA-nuh”) or giving equal stress to all syllables (“BUH-NA-NUH”) • Separating syllables (“buh…na…nuh”) • Distorting vowel sounds • Omitting consonants at the start and end of syllables and in consonant blends (“gr”, “st”) • Increased sound errors as the length of utterances increases • C omprehension is much stronger than verbal expression • Difficulty imitating the speech of others Diagnosis is made on the pattern of sound errors and symptoms including a number of the above, says Gill Shaw-Ridley. “There are a few formal tests available, such as the Kaufman Speech Praxis Test for Children, which may aid diagnosis.”

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dealing with difference

“It’s always advisable to have a team of health practitioners working with your child,” says Dr Athena Pedro, a research psychologist lecturing at the University of the Western Cape, who has a six-year-old son with apraxia.

Pedro is researching apraxia, special needs and education, and working with parents of children with apraxia, using an individualised programme focusing on age-appropriate developmental milestones. “It’s important that speech, occupational and behavioural therapists, psychologists and even educators work together,” she says.

In addition, some therapists advocate teaching children alternative communication methods, such as sign language, using pictures, or using electronic devices like tablets to produce words and sentences – “various apps are available,” says Shaw-Ridley. There are also audio programmes, some using filtered music to stimulate certain areas of the brain. “If one of these is used, it should be made very clear why it’s being used for a specific child,” she says.

“Parents sometimes feel that using alternative communication systems may inhibit the development of language,” says De Vos. “But it can be very useful in encouraging communication and decreasing negative behaviour due to frustration when the child is not understood.”

Deidre and other mothers report the best progress from a combination of speech and occupational therapy.

“Evan’s been doing both,” Deidre says. “The therapists also taught the wonderful caregivers at his mainstream

crèche how to help him, and he’s speaking and reading much better.” This year he turned five and joined a special Grade R class for CAS children, begun recently at the Tygerberg Hospital School.

Deidre’s concern, and that of most parents, is for her child’s future. “After Grade R, then what? Most of these children aren’t fully mainstream, but they also aren’t properly special needs.”

“CAS occurs on a continuum, and depending on the severity, and the progress the child makes, some may later go to a special needs school, a remedial school, or occasionally a mainstream school (with support),” says Shaw-Ridley. There are a few specialised schools that assist children with communication and related developmental difficulties including CAS, she adds, but not enough.

Pedro is currently researching inclusive education at schools in Cape Town, and she and Deidre are founder members of the fledgling Dyspraxia/Apraxia Foundation of SA (DAFSA), which will work to promote inclusive, accessible education countrywide. Deidre and another mom of a child with apraxia, Lydia de Villiers, have also launched Apraxia Awareness SA, to raise awareness in parents and teachers, and lobby government to provide appropriate schooling.

“All we want is for our children to be helped to be selfsufficient and live a full and happy life,” says Deidre. “Is that too much to ask?”

It’s always advisable to have a team of health practitioners working with your child.

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tips for parents • R ead up on apraxia, advises Athena Pedro – visit reputable sites such as mayoclinic.org or apraxia-kids.org • Practise sounds, words and sentences with your child under guidance of a qualified speechlanguage therapist.

• Give positive reinforcement – praise, motivate and encourage them to meet milestones.

• Acknowledge their strengths.

• Be patient.

• Have routine and structure in their day.

• Get all people who interact with your child involved in stimulating language, at home and at school.

find support CAS affects 3% to 5% of preschoolers who have speech impairments, reports CASANA (the Childhood Apraxia of Speech Association of North America), and four times more boys than girls. If your child is among them, contact: • Apraxia Awareness SA: deidre@aarsa.co.za, lydia@aarsa.co.za or aarsa.co.za • DAFSA: This was launched with an information and support website on International Apraxia Awareness Day (May 14): 021 976 8795, 073 839 9524 or aspedro@uwc.ac.za

magazine joburg

reader’s blog

picking up the pieces For some people, divorce is the best decision they’ve ever made, but it can be a living hell for others. MARY HART shares her painful journey, but one tinged with hope.

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

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he day I left my husband, after four years of mental and emotional abuse, I thought I had dealt with the toughest part of the process. I found a home, packed my children’s clothes, and some of mine, took the beds and one couch, and moved. It was such a relief to be out of the tense, disapproving gaze of my husband and two stepchildren. Life was good. No, life was great. At 42, I was back to living like a student, with mismatched furniture and curtains. But we were happy, so none of that mattered.

That is, until I started down the long and arduous road of divorce. I stupidly married in community of property, because I was in love and, if anything had to happen, we would be fair to each other. Instead, I have been to hell and back in the last two years. The lies he has spewed to my children, his friends and his family; the extremes he has gone to, to inconvenience me and cause me discomfort, have been alarming and disturbing. Not enough to take legal action, though.

I was a rock through the deceit and emotional abuse. But I am failing at being strong through the financial toll this has taken. I was financially secure two years ago. I had money in my bank account and was able to live a comfortable, middle-class life.

But now I collect coupons and only buy our groceries

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if they are on special. I’m trying very hard to keep my children in the private school they are accustomed to. So life is hard. Not my-child-is-terminally-ill hard; just hard.

I’m now broke, with expenses that far exceed my income. And in order to get my divorce through, I have had to concede to all of his demands – he will keep my beautiful four-bedroom home in a nice part of Joburg and he will pay only what he wants to pay towards my children.

So, life isn’t fair. And you don’t always reap what you sow, because not everyone has the same moral compass as you do. There is still more of this journey that I need to get through and I will emerge stronger than ever, I’m sure. And it will be okay, because all of the quotes I read on social media say that it will. If it doesn’t break you, it will make you stronger, and so on.

I am grateful that I got away. I am grateful for my two beautiful children who are happy, and who will go through life with confidence and strength, who will one day be proud of their mother because she fought for them and their happiness. I know that for sure. But it has been hard. And I am tired. Yet, I still have the belief that “this too shall pass”. At least now the light at the end of the tunnel is the sun and not a train hurtling towards me.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

July 2015

15

education

Banish boredom from your home during the holidays with these easy-to-make, indoor and outdoor games that can also teach children a thing or two. By TAMLYN VINCENT

alphabet pictures

Prep Print and cut out the letters of the alphabet. Find pictures in magazines that correspond with these letters and cut these out as well. Tie up a piece of string and peg the letters along the string in alphabetical order.

Play Children match up the letters to the pictures. So if they have a picture of a tree, they need to peg it with the letter T. The pictures can be more advanced for older children.

home-made bingo

the key to fun indoors outdoors on your own in a group with a parent

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July 2015

Prep Make your own bingo boards by printing out a grid with colours, pictures, numbers or letters in the blocks. Jumble them up so each card is different. These can be simpler for younger children, using just colours, while older children can have pictures of animals, continents or other relevant items. Print out another set of the pictures or colours, cut these out and place them in a bag.

Play Someone pulls cards from the bag, calling them out to the other players. Any player who has a corresponding block puts a token on that block. The first person to get a straight line of tokens calls out “bingo” and wins the game.

who am i?

Prep Print and cut out a selection of animal names, places or people.

Try to theme these to make it a bit easier, like zoo animals, mountain ranges or famous authors. You’ll also need a few safety pins.

Play Pin a name on the back of each person’s shirt. Everyone else can see each person’s name, but they aren’t allowed to tell that person what name they have.

Children have to figure out who they are by asking questions.

Prep Write down a selection of quick activities, such as “run around the tree” or “find a yellow flower”. Depending on your child’s age, you could write down questions such as “who is the president of South Africa?” Cut these out. Then gather nine plastic cups and place them in a pyramid shape on the ground. Place a few pieces of paper in each cup.

Play Children stand a short distance away from the cups and throw a ball into one of them.

They must then take out a piece of paper and do what it says or answer the question. Add an element of surprise by writing out a few lucky prizes, such as “Choose a treat” or “Sit one out”.

ILLUSTRATIONS: shutterstock.com

challenge accepted

cup of fortune

magazine joburg

storytelling Prep Select a few words at random, such as “dog”, “ladybird” and “hop”. For older children use a dictionary to find more challenging options, or ask children for words they learnt at school. You can also use story blocks. These are wooden squares, like dice, with words written on them. Write nouns, like places or animals, on each side of one block, and on the other write actions or emotions.

Play Ask children to tell a story using the words that have been selected. To play with the story blocks, roll the blocks and tell a story using the words that appear on the top.

marble run Prep Gather an assortment of tubes and pipes, and find some marbles. You will also need some masking tape or duct tape.

Play Give your child the equipment, and find a spare wall in the house. They can then design a marble run, taping the tubes and pipes onto the wall, so that the marbles will run down to the bottom. If there are any flaws in their design, they should find a way to fix them.

If a few children are playing, split them into teams and see who can build the longest, or quickest, marble run with the same number of parts.

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hoop toss Prep Cut the centre out of a few paper plates and stick a long cardboard tube upright on another paper plate. If you have a group of children playing, make a few more uprights and colour the hoops in different colours.

Play Children take turns throwing the hoops over the tube. Try playing in teams if there are lots of children, where each team gets a different colour. You can also do time trials, giving the players a minute to get as many as possible. They will need to use teamwork so that they have a steady stream of hoops to throw.

bean bag maths Prep Get a large piece of cardboard and cut holes of varying sizes in it. Assign numbers to each hole, with the biggest hole having the lowest number and the smallest having the highest number. Use numbers that are age-appropriate.

Play Children take turns throwing bean bags or balls through the holes. Each time they get one through they add that hole’s number to their score. Make it harder by adding symbols like +, -, or x in front of the numbers.

mystery bag Prep Find a cloth bag that children can’t see inside. Place a variety of small objects in the bag. Look for items that have different textures, like squishy balls, a wooden block covered in sandpaper, or a piece of silk ribbon.

Play Children feel inside the bag and try to guess what the objects are. Younger children can simply enjoy feeling the different textures, but older children should try to name the items. If you have a group of children, you can give each child one minute to feel inside the bag, and then they can write down as many objects as they can recall feeling in the bag.

rainy day games guaranteed to use up energy • B alloon juggling – don’t let the balloon touch the ground.

• Indoor hopscotch – use masking tape to outline the blocks.

• Indoor maze – use masking tape to mark a maze on the floor, then kick a ball through the maze.

• Play musical chairs or musical statues.

• Have pillow case races down the passage.

• Stepping stones – children try getting from one side of the room to the other without touching the floor.

July 2015

17

parenting

boys don’t cry …or do they but we pretend otherwise?

JOCELYN WARRINGTON explains why it’s high time we speak up for the emotional needs of boys.

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Durban-based educational psychologist Anwen Cunningham-Scholtz echoes Du Plessis’ findings: “Boys who are unable to ‘own’ their feelings by way of expressing, managing and processing them, often have very chaotic inner lives,” she says. “As a result, they are like emotional ‘pressure cookers’, susceptible to overreacting to seemingly trivial things which, in effect, trigger a well of suppressed emotions.”

According to Cristine Scolari, a clinical psychologist from Joburg, boys who have not learnt – or been allowed – to articulate their emotions also tend to lump all their negative feelings under the umbrella of anger. “It is generally more socially acceptable for a boy to show anger than to admit that he is scared,” says Scolari. “Anger, then, becomes a front for everything from sadness and fear to loneliness and disappointment.”

“The irony,” points out Cunningham-Scholtz, “is that while the mother, however unintentionally, encourages her son to bury his feelings, she simultaneously complains that her husband is emotionally unavailable to her.”

The accepted notion is that boys must be tough, brave, and unemotional, or else risk being labelled a sissy. boys to men While she admits that there is no doubt that commonly held ideas of hegemonic masculinity contribute towards boys burying their emotions, Anne McDonald refuses to believe this is an inevitable, hard-wired response. “Boys can – and often are – open to exploring their emotional lives,” she says, “but their environments need to facilitate this. Parents and schools have to encourage boys to express and identify their emotions, understand where they come from, and then develop constructive ways to deal with them. By so doing, boys will develop the emotional intelligence needed to help them cope with life’s pressures.”

Cunningham-Scholtz adds: “Emotional intelligence also means being able to understand the feelings and perspectives of others and thus develop empathy. This helps in the formation of healthy relationships, both in childhood and later in life. Research – and my own experience – also shows that emotionally intelligent boys are more resilient and better able to cope with the bravado of a testosterone-fuelled environment. They develop the crucial capacity to identify when to stand up for themselves and when to let things go.”

Parents can help their sons develop emotional intelligence by giving voice to their feelings, says Cunningham-Scholtz. “Saying things like, ‘I can see you’re getting frustrated…’, ‘I know you get angry when…’, ‘That must have really hurt your feelings to make you cry like that…’ will help a child create a vocabulary for expressing his feelings.”

Scolari points out that parents should also model appropriate ways of dealing with feelings: “If you bottle up your own feelings and don’t talk about what is bothering you, your child will learn that this is an appropriate way to deal with emotions, and do exactly the same.” magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

f

lick through newspapers and magazines and you’ll find plenty of stories about the problems girls face in childhood and their teens – early sexualisation, pressure to conform to unhealthy stereotypes, depression, anorexia and self-harm – but you’ll find little about boys. It’s as though an assumption has taken hold that boys don’t need or deserve our concern and help.

The reality is quite the opposite. Boys need our attention now more than ever. According to Anne McDonald, an educational psychologist and counsellor at a prominent boys’ prep school in Cape Town, “Boys exist in a highly competitive world and the jostle for a place in their social milieu can lead to feelings of pain and rejection. The wounding that can develop from this often doesn’t have the opportunity to be exposed or acknowledged and therefore ‘healing’ involves the formation of hardened scars.”

Joburg-based educational psychologist Christelle du Plessis agrees. “Boys today have it tough. The demands on them are enormous and they get it from all sides: by parents and teachers they’re pressured to perform both academically and on the sports field; and by their peers they’re required to find their place in the pecking order. And they’re expected to ‘man up’ to these challenges, not run away, or cry, or do anything else deemed similarly ‘wimpish’.”

Add to this the pressure that huge social changes in the last 50 or so years have piled onto boys. In the 60s, boys were highly valued. Unskilled labour was still plentiful and it demanded a man’s superior physical strength, as had the Second World War, which had ended only 15 years before – another compelling reason to respect and revere men. But fast-forward a couple of generations and the perceived value of boys has plummeted as manual jobs have disappeared to be replaced in a knowledge-based economy by roles that require the “soft skills” of empathy and communication – skills at which females excel.

Boys are having to do it the girls’ way, or face lagging seriously behind.

Not only is there the argument that male interests have been squeezed out in the rush to right historic injustices against women, but there exists, too, a profound ignorance of the way in which boys develop. The prevailing wisdom that boys don’t experience strong emotions only recently came under fire by experts in the field of child development.

“If we look at the emotional development of children, we see that boys and girls are actually on a par as preschoolers in what is developmentally expected,” notes Du Plessis.

“The so-called terrible twos, when children, frustrated at their inability to express their needs, resort to tantrums, are as applicable to boys as they are to girls. As boys grow up, however, they become aware of the different expectations set out for them by their parents, their teachers, their peers (both male and female), and society in general, and they adapt accordingly. Sure, there are basic behavioural differences between boys and girls, but these are overtly exaggerated by our gendered culture. And the accepted notion is that boys must be tough, brave, and unemotional, or else risk being labelled a sissy.”

When they reach adolescence, boys are well-conditioned to keep their feelings to themselves, asserts Du Plessis. “No longer trusting the validity of his emotions, a boy will deny himself his feelings altogether, and may turn to drugs or alcohol in an attempt to numb his inner pain and escape his emotions,” she explains, adding that such boys are at risk of low self-esteem, depression, anger issues, anxiety disorders and even suicide. “We see more and more boys, for instance, suffering from anorexia, bulimia and self-harm – the age-old girls’ disorders.”

She also encourages parents not to be afraid of negative emotions. “We are sometimes so alarmed when our children express negative emotions, such as distress, sadness or anxiety, that our immediate reaction is to try to make it all better. Instead, it’s important that we remind ourselves that negative emotions are an excellent – albeit often painful – way to learn crucial coping and problem-solving skills, resourcefulness and an awareness of one’s own emotional triggers.”

“Parents must remember that they are raising their sons to be future husbands and fathers,” adds Du Plessis. “You want your son to be kind, caring and loving. You want him to be in a happy, fulfilling and enduring relationship one day. To do this, you need to raise a compassionate man who is able to put himself into the shoes of others, and who can communicate effectively with his wife and children. In the words of the late Walter Schirra, an American astronaut and surely the ultimate ‘manly’ man: ‘You don’t raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they’ll turn out to be heroes, even if it’s just in your own eyes’.”

magazine joburg

express yourself!

Educational psychologist Christelle du Plessis suggests ways parents can help sons to effectively articulate and process their feelings: • Make an emotions book. Select certain feelings and ask your child to find pictures displaying them. Remember to include emotions like anxiety, annoyance and cheerfulness, instead of the more general happy and sad.

• If your son is unable to find the words to express what he is feeling, do it for him: “You feel sad that Mommy is leaving, and Mommy feels sad that she has to leave, but I am going now so that I can come back and fetch you later.” In this way, you acknowledge his feelings and also mirror them, showing that it is okay to feel this way.

• Play games where you pull faces and your child guesses what emotion you are displaying.

• Read stories to your child in which characters have a difficult time, and experience many different emotions.

• Schedule a regular date with your son. Take him out on his own (without his siblings)

•

•

•

•

and use the time not to judge or complain, but to really listen to and engage with him, allowing him to talk about whatever he chooses. The point is to get to know your son’s inner landscape.

As boys grow up, it is important for them to have trusted friends, ones with whom they don’t have to maintain a macho attitude. Encourage such friendships – it is remarkable how supportive boys can be of one another.

Instead of always asking, “What happened?” or “How did you respond?”, ask “How do you feel?”. It is amazing how limited boys’ emotional vocabularies can be.

Encourage your son to keep a diary. This is for his private thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams, not for Mom to snoop around in. The whole idea is to get the emotion out instead of it being bottled up inside, and writing can be a wonderful medium for self-expression.

Above all, accept your child’s uniqueness.

Get to really know him, and appreciate him for who he is.

July 2015

19

book extract

comforting crowd-pleasers The recipes in SAM GATES’ cookbook Food for Your Brood will inspire you to gather your favourite people together and get cooking. no-brainer pot roast chicken with bacon, leeks and cider This is a wonderfully friendly pot roast. It’s so easy that everyone from the smallest to the grumpiest in the household can be the chef, and supper will still taste amazing.

Basically you grab a handful of veggies, some bacon, and a chicken, then find a glass of cider, wine or chicken stock (if alcohol’s not for you) and stick the lot into a big pot with a few herbs and a tight lid.

Bake for a few hours, then eat. If that was too quick, here’s the slow version – feeds a hungry foursome. ingredients • 30ml (2 tbsp) olive oil • 2 cloves garlic, crushed • 1 red onion, chopped • 2 rashers streaky bacon, snipped into small pieces • 2 leeks, sliced into medallions • 2kg whole chicken • 6 carrots, peeled and quartered

• 1 x 330ml bottle cider or the same quantity white wine (if you prefer not to use alcohol, you can also use chicken or vegetable stock instead) • 5ml (1 tsp) dried thyme or 15ml (1 tbsp) fresh thyme leaves • Salt and freshly ground black pepper • 60ml (4 tbsp) double cream • 15ml (1 tbsp) wholegrain mustard • 30ml (2 tbsp) finely chopped fresh parsley method Heat the oven to 180°C. Gently warm the olive oil in a stovetopto-oven casserole, then add the garlic, onion, bacon and leeks. Cook on a medium heat, stirring continuously, until the leeks and onions are cooked but not brown.

Place the chicken in the casserole, breast side up, on top of the vegetables.

Place the carrots snugly around the bird and pour over the cider or white wine.

Sprinkle with thyme and season with salt and black pepper. Put on a tight-fitting lid and cook in the oven for 1 hour. Remove the lid, baste the chicken with the juices and return to the oven for 20–30 minutes until the breast side is golden brown.

Take the casserole out of the oven and check that the chicken is cooked through. Transfer the chicken and vegetables into a warm ovenproof serving dish, but leave the juices in the casserole.

Cover the chicken with foil and return to the switched-off oven to keep warm.

On the stovetop, bring the juices to the boil in the casserole and reduce a little.

Turn the heat down and add the cream and mustard, stirring without boiling until warmed through. Transfer the sauce to a warm jug, scatter the chopped parsley over the chicken and vegetables and serve immediately.

There are two schools of thought when it comes to baked onions. Cook them whole and pour sauce and cheese over the top, or get fancy, scoop out the middle and fill them up with goodies before baking.

Both are good but the simple version has the added bonus of providing excellent mopping up juices to play with, so make sure you have a loaf of crusty bread handy.

Feeds four for lunch or eight as a side dish. ingredients • 8 medium-sized onions, peeled and the top and bottom sliced off • 30ml (2 tbsp) olive oil • 15ml (1 tbsp) chopped fresh thyme

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• 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped • salt and freshly ground black pepper • 50g Parmesan cheese, finely grated • 2,5ml (½ tsp) smoked paprika • 250ml fresh cream • 4 slices wholewheat bread, whizzed into breadcrumbs • 15ml (1 tbsp) chopped fresh parsley or thyme method Heat the oven to 190°C. Bring a large saucepan of salted water to the boil and blanch the onions for 6 minutes. Drain and cut in half horizontally,

then fit them, cut side up, into a greased gratin dish or shallow casserole. They should fit snugly and hold each other upright. Drizzle with olive oil, scatter over the chopped thyme and garlic, season with salt and pepper, then bake for 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, mix the Parmesan, paprika, cream and a good grind of salt and pepper in a bowl. Stir in the breadcrumbs.

Take the onions out of the oven and pour the cheese, cream and breadcrumb mixture over the top. Return to the oven for another 20 minutes until the sauce is bubbling and golden.

Remove from the oven and serve hot sprinkled with fresh parsley or thyme.

magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: Anthea Kirkman

golden onions baked with cheese and herbs

seventies-style red peppers stuffed with spicy rice

courgette fritters that don’t taste like old sponges You either love or hate courgette fritters.

Cooked carelessly, they’re like eating a bath sponge, but on form they are bubbly, summery and utterly delicious. It’s down to selection and timing. Choose your vegetable wisely and don’t be tempted to use up some gnarly marrow that is past its prime – stick to the fresh young things with firm, bright green skins and barely formed seeds. Like many vegetables with a high water content, you also need to drain your courgettes well otherwise you’ll have a soggy mess, and don’t hold back on seasoning or friends like onion and garlic because courgettes need help to shine. This isn’t a good one to make ahead, though. Shorten the time from pan to plate and you’ll be rewarded with bouncy, frisky, tasty little fritters. Feeds four to six people. ingredients • 500g courgettes • 5ml (1 tsp) salt • 200ml plain Greek yoghurt • 1 handful fresh mint leaves, finely chopped • salt and freshly ground black pepper • 40g butter • 60g finely chopped onion • 2 cloves garlic, crushed • 30ml (2 tbsp) chopped fresh coriander • zest of 1 lemon

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• 3 eggs, beaten • 100g feta cheese, crumbled • 50g cake flour • 45–60ml (3–4 tbsp) olive oil for frying method Grate the courgettes and toss with the salt. Place in a colander to sweat out the excess liquid, turning every now and then for 15 minutes.

Make the sauce by mixing the yoghurt and mint together, then season with salt and pepper. Set aside.

Melt the butter and fry the onion and garlic until soft. Set aside until cool.

Mix the coriander, lemon zest, eggs, feta and flour together. Season well.

Stir in the cooled onion and garlic. Squeeze the courgettes to remove excess water, then add to the onion mixture.

Heat 15ml (1 tbsp) of oil in a frying pan and check that it’s hot by dropping in a little bread. If it sizzles, it’s ready. Cook the fritters in batches by dropping tablespoons of mixture spaced apart into the frying pan. Flatten each dollop lightly with a spoon and cook for 2–3 minutes on each side until golden brown. Repeat with the rest of the batter, adding more olive oil as necessary. Drain them on kitchen paper.

Serve with the yoghurt and mint sauce and eat quickly.

To guarantee success, use the sweeter red or orange peppers and choose those with a flat base so they sit well rather than lurching drunkenly around the plate. You also need to ensure your filling packs a taste punch so don’t be shy with spices, seasoning and sauce. This super-spicy stuffing was inspired by a trip to Istanbul, but unlike classic Turkish stuffed peppers, these are served hot. It feeds four, and is useful if you have vegans or vegetarians around.

• ½ fresh red chilli, finely chopped • 2 small tomatoes, finely diced • 60ml (4 tbsp) chopped fresh coriander plus more for sprinkling • freshly ground black pepper • 400ml water • 4 big, fat, square red peppers • olive oil for drizzling

ingredients • 160g basmati rice • 100g grated courgettes • 5ml (1 tsp) salt • 60ml (4 tbsp) olive oil • 1 large onion, finely chopped • 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped • 2,5ml (½ tsp) turmeric • 5ml (1 tsp) ground cumin • 5ml (1 tsp) garam masala • 5ml (1 tsp) ground coriander • generous pinch of cayenne pepper

Wash the rice well, drain and set it aside.

Place the grated courgettes in a colander and sprinkle over the salt. Set aside.

Heat the olive oil in a large frying pan and sauté the onion and garlic until cooked, but not brown. Add the turmeric, cumin, garam masala, ground coriander, cayenne pepper and chilli and cook for 2 minutes. Pour in the rice and cook gently, stirring all the time, for 6–8 minutes so the rice is well coated.

Add the courgettes and stir, then add the tomatoes, fresh coriander, a generous grind of pepper and the water.

Simmer gently for about 12 minutes, until the rice is nearly cooked. Don’t cook any longer as you are going to be putting it into the oven.

Slice the tops off the peppers and scoop out the seeds. Fill with the cooked rice and courgette mixture and put the lids on the top. Place in a casserole dish small enough for the peppers to sit snugly next to each other and drizzle over a little olive oil. Bake for 1 hour, basting with the juices several times during cooking.

method Heat the oven to 180 °C.

about the book With over 70 ideas for inspirational, delicious dishes – from noisy, outrageous breakfasts to soothingly sweet tea-time delights and amazing one-pot suppers – Food for Your Brood (Struik Lifestyle) by Sam Gates will transform your cooking. For the author, the best meals are those shared with the people we love, when the humblest ingredients, casually gathered, seem to magically turn into fine feasts. So, celebrate food, life and the people you love with this sunny collection of glorious recipes. Food for Your Brood is available at all good bookstores for R275.

July 2015

21

parenting

In defence of single parenthood, long-time single mom JOCELYN WARRINGTON explains why her daughter is not just surviving, but thriving.

k

nowing that I’ve gone it alone from the day of my daughter’s conception 10 years ago, a broody yet unattached 40-something friend recently asked me, “Should I have a baby on my own?”

Because my single-parent status is more a result of circumstance than choice, I’d never really taken the time to deliberately weigh up the pros and cons of raising a child on my own. Sure, celebrity single moms like Charlize Theron, Sandra Bullock and Madonna make multitasking look defiantly fashionable (and so they should, with an entourage of nannies in their wake), but the default assumption is that single parenting is all hard slog with very little let-up... and that single moms are a haggard breed, teetering permanently on the precipice of either physical burnout or nervous breakdown, or both. It makes me feel almost guilty, then, to admit that I’m having the time of my life. Don’t get me wrong – I’m in no doubt as to the benefits of the dual-family unit. But, with or without a partner, motherhood can be its own reward, and the truth is that there are some very real (albeit sometimes egotistical) perks to raising a child on your own. These are mine…

i get to share an extra-special bond “But doesn’t your child need a father?” people sometimes ask. I guess I understand. We don’t fit into the traditional notion of what constitutes a family – but who does anymore?

And my daughter, Hannah, has a wonderful grandfather and my male friends who provide her with examples of good men and let her know how much she is loved. But, most important, she has me. Our bond is strong. It’s just her and

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July 2015

magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

flying solo

me in our little family of two (plus a 40kg dog). Together we giggle (and sniffle through Charlotte’s Web). We get our nails done (she favours sparkly purple polish). We go for walks on the beach, to the movies and out for sushi. And we talk.

She has only me to depend on and trust (and I get a supersnuggly fleece-clad bedmate).

i get to be a stellar role model of independence One of the best gifts I am able to give my daughter is the knowledge that she can make it on her own. Earn a living, pay the bond, change a light bulb… cue Mom. As a result, I embody the idea that it’s better to “want” to be in a relationship for the loving bond, companionship, and all those other plusses, than that I “need” to be in a relationship because there is stuff to be done or bills to be paid. What’s more, I’ve been surprised to find out all the things I can do as a woman raising a child on my own. I support us both.

It pinches sometimes, but I’ve become very good at saving (I never used to be). I’ve even learnt how to do some of the “man stuff”: I’ve put together a crib, a miniature Vespa scooter (so many pieces!), and a kitchen set (with microwave).

everything she’s learnt was from me. I taught, I helped, and I was there every step of the way.

i get to teach some valuable life lessons I won’t kid you – or myself – by saying that single parenting is easy on my daughter, but I’ve noticed that my child is more competent, more observant and kinder than many of her friends who live in two-parent households. One reason for this, I believe, is that she has more responsibility – for herself and for the household. She helps out with chores and errands. She understands when I’m tired. She realises that if she wants more than the meagre pocket money I give her, she needs to make and sell greeting cards or loomband bracelets to earn extra money.

One of the best gifts I am able to give my daughter is the knowledge that she can make it on her own.

i get to see everything… and I get bragging rights

i get to break the rules

From first step to the first date, I get to see (and photograph) it all. I’m there to witness so many milestone moments, some of which I would miss if I were taking turns with the dad. On top of that, when you’re the only parent, you can lay claim to being the sole reason for your child’s successes. Every milestone, every accomplishment,

I am already different by virtue of being a single mom, so what do I risk by not conforming to relatively unimportant traditions? For example, I can look you straight in the eye and say, “Yes, after dinner, she baths and gets dressed in her school stockings. When she wakes up in the morning, all she has to do is put on her shoes. You got a problem with that?”

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i get to ditch the drama Contrary to some predictions, my daughter has made it thus far without stealing hubcaps, selling crack cocaine or joining a cult – and there is every indication that she will reach adulthood without any such problems. In fact, I’m guessing that she’s better off than if she had spent these years listening to Mom and Dad exchanging angry words or, worse, engulfed by icy silence or crackling resentment. In this assumption at least, research bears me out. A study conducted by social psychologists at the University of Illinois of all different kinds of households in 39 nations found that what mattered most to children’s emotional development was not whether they were raised by two cohabiting biological parents or a single mother (or, for that matter, adoptive parents, or a stepmother, or two fathers…). Instead, whether children had problems with their marks or in their relationships with their siblings or friends depended on whether there were high levels of conflict within their families. In other words, it’s safe for me to say that my child is emotionally better off being raised by a single parent than if she stayed in a home with two married parents who want to kill each other.

The point, then, is to let go of the fantasy that all children living in nuclear families have two totally engaged parents who lavish their love and attention on all their children, and on each other, in a home free of anger, conflict, and recriminations. Sure, Hannah has her share of problems, but she doesn’t have more than her share.

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23

your child’s life

dressing without drama Does the simple task of getting your child dressed often develop into a full-scale battle?

ANÉL LEWIS has suggestions for dealing with the fussy, the fickle and the fashion conscious.

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to be passed on to someone else. She also seems to have tactile issues with certain fabrics. I can’t get her to wear anything with frills, lace or capped sleeves.

dressing dilemmas Clothing for infants and babies is all about safety, comfort and ease of access. And it’s probably the only time you will be able to dress your son from head to toe in butternut yellow, or dress your daughter in a Baby-gro that says “Daddy’s girl”, so enjoy it while you can. As soon as your child moves into the toddler phase and starts asserting their personality, clothing takes on a whole new meaning. Suddenly, a T-shirt morphs into a bargaining tool as your toddler realises that he can mess up your morning routine by refusing to wear that pair of shorts. I have to admit that I have sent my son, Conor, now three, to school in his pyjamas a couple of times rather than magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

u

ntil she was about two years old, my daughter Erin would only wear trousers and T-shirts emblazoned with Superman. While other girls arrived at birthday parties in beautiful dresses, their hair swept up with sparkling clips, Erin insisted on wearing a tatty old shirt with an image of her superhero, and a pair of leggings. Now almost five, Erin loves wearing dresses – but if there’s a ribbon or belt, she refuses to let me tie it in a bow. She is also very particular about the shoes she will wear – flip-flops in summer and well, if she could, flip-flops in winter.

I’ve tried takkies with glitter motifs and durable Crocs that will survive the rigours of the playground. But her reaction to these is always the same: “I’ll wear them tomorrow, Mom.” I learnt very quickly that “tomorrow” is Erin’s code for “never in your wildest dreams”, and that the shoes or item of clothing she’s snubbed will have

deal with the histrionics of getting him to wear a clean shirt. Until recently, he was unfazed about what he had on. But now he’s become quite insistent about what he will wear. He won’t dress in anything with buttons and a collar, and “Woody” – who was once the coolest thing out – is now “stupid”, so that T-shirt is languishing at the bottom of the cupboard. Conor also seems to have an issue with anything resembling a uniform. It was after only two Saturdays of tears and tantrums that I realised his issue with rugby class was not the game, but the kit. I let him go in old shorts and a pyjama top the following week and he was happier than Schalk Burger at a Super Rugby derby.

freedom of choice Being able to choose what to wear is critical for the development of your child’s identity. There’s nothing wrong with letting your child assert her personality with her clothing preferences, as long as it won’t do her any harm – a leotard in midwinter is probably not the wisest choice – and it’s appropriate. Try to discourage clothing that’s unsuitable for their age, or provocative. From about the age of three, however, there is bound to be considerable interest in television and movie characters, so you will have to decide whether you want your child to wear themed clothing. I allow one or two branded items, and then opt for colourful basics that they can wear at school and on weekends. Erin has on occasion left the house in a ballet tutu, one of Conor’s truck-patterned shirts, a pair of gumboots and some fairy wings.

She thought she looked amazing and I made sure that her father remarked on her wonderful ensemble. The few hours of slight embarrassment (for us) were well

worth seeing the pride with which she wore her creation. There was also a brief stint where she would emerge from the bedroom wearing items of our underwear over her clothes, but that passed after a few weeks and, thankfully, she never actually made it out of the door in our unmentionables.

So, as long as it won’t make the neighbours point and stare, or induce hyperthermia, it’s probably okay to let them dress as they wish. And besides, if you take good photos you will have plenty of ammunition for the slideshow at their 21st birthday party. Children relish the independence of being able to choose their clothes, and to dress themselves.

So what if a few items are mismatched?

Who said stripes and polka dots can’t feature in one outfit? For children, getting dressed is about exploring themselves and their environment. Be warned, however, that waiting for a toddler to get dressed can be an exercise in patience that would put some Tibetan monks to the test.

Erin’s been known to make several outfit changes before settling on something that passes muster.

appropriate attire As children get older, clothing becomes more important. For some, it symbolises their association with a particular group at school. Be sure to set boundaries – specify the length for skirts and the types of tops you will allow. Teenagers will realise that clothing can also be used to attract the opposite sex, and this will present a new set of challenges. Again, there will be the multiple wardrobe changes, but probably because you’ve read them the Riot Act for wearing something unacceptable, or because they’re searching for the “perfect outfit”.

mitigate wardrobe meltdowns • G ive younger children a choice between two outfits. They’ll still feel as if they have some say in what they are wearing, but it will spare you the multiple outfit changes.

• If there’s a tactile issue, avoid clothing that exacerbates the problem. Keep it simple, opting for cotton fabrics and outfits with few buttons or seams.

• Allow enough time in the morning to get ready – there’s a good chance your preschool child will try on at least two outfits.

• Clothing choices became easier when I let my daughter come shopping with me. She gets to choose what she likes and I save money by not buying items that she won’t wear.

• Have a dress-up box that also encourages your child to show off her inner fashionista before she leaves the house.

• For younger children, buy items that are easier to put on. Avoid belts and finicky fasteners that could make getting dressed a challenge.

• Pick your battles. Some days, accept that you’re not going to win and have a back-up outfit in your bag in case the chosen garb is not weather or situation appropriate.

• Remember that clothing choices reflect your child’s personality, not yours. Try to not be too critical of their selection, unless it goes against the boundaries you’ve set.

• Have a clothing policy for older children. Be firm about what’s acceptable. This includes how much you will spend on branded items, for example.

magazine joburg

July 2015

25

relationships

is parenting

ruining marriage

?

Researchers say that one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is to focus on their life as a couple, but what happens when parents become too focused on their child, allowing their relationship with each other to suffer? By SAMANTHA PAGE

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themselves losing the strong connection they once shared as a couple.

Dr John Jacobs is a couple’s therapist and the author of All You Need is Love and Other Lies About Marriage (HarperCollins).

He contends that couples often think children solidify a marriage, but the truth is, they can also be a serious threat. “The transition from couplehood to parenthood makes one of the greatest stressors in the life of a marriage. Add to that the fact that we’ve become a society that is hyperfocused on the emotional wellbeing of our children, sometimes too focused, and you have almost no time or inclination to attend to the needs of your spouse.”

remodelling marriage Men and women have been having children since the beginning of time, so why now has your bundle of joy become such a “relationship grenade”, as the writer Nora Ephron once called them? Physician and researcher Danielle Teller presents one theory in her article “How American Parenting is Killing the American Marriage”: “Sometime between when we were children and when we had

magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

w

hen you fall in love, you kiss your sweetheart, tenderly, you share in-jokes, you tell each other everything, and, sometimes, you even give up the remote control.

He steers her through a crowd at the busy neighbourhood market with his hand gently resting on the curve of her back, and she takes a moment to admire him from a distance as he chats with his mates around the braai, wondering how she got so lucky.

Jump forward a few years, and the kisses are fleeting pecks before you turn out the light at night, or as you’re rushing out of the house in the morning, and your sense of humour seems to have gone on vacation without you. This scenario may paint a somewhat grim picture of marriage with children, but it’s a fact, though much debated, that “taking the leap from being a couple to becoming a family of three is exciting, exhilarating and joyful, but it’s also exhausting, overwhelming and worrisome,” says psychologist Dr Leisa Bailey. Between the sleep deprivation and the mountain of daily tasks, the shift is away from the spouse, and sometimes new parents find

children of our own, parenthood became a religion… As with many religions, complete unthinking devotion is required from its practioners. Nothing in life is allowed to be more important than our children, and we must never speak a disloyal word about our relationships with our offspring.

Children always come first. We accept this premise so reflexively today that we forget that it was not always so.”

When author Ayelet Waldman declared in her 2005 New York Times essay entitled “Truly, Madly, Guiltily” that she “loved her husband more than her children” because she is in love with her husband but she’s not in love with her children, she was virtually burnt at the Mommy Club stake.

“She’s doing a disservice to her family,” said one ardent critic, and thousands of others joined in caustic comment threads on sites across the US and further afield.

Nine years later, on an episode of Oprah: Where Are They Now?, Waldman stood by her controversial confession: “If you focus all your emotional passion on your children, you neglect the relationship that brought that family into existence, and eventually things can go really, really

magazine joburg

wrong. My husband is the focus of my romantic devotion and, though I haven’t always been the perfect mother, giving my children a sense of security in their parents’ relationship is something I feel really proud of.”

character-broadening extracurricular activities. She reads all the current literature on parenting and takes primary responsibility for the care and feeding of the children,” says Bonnie Rochman, writing for Time magazine.

The paradox appears to be that we expect so much more from our marriages these days, but we tend to feed them less.

While fathers are by no means exempt from this new-fangled childolatory, a word coined by Psychology Today, which is defined as “the worship of one’s children at the expense of one’s marriage,” it’s often mothers that seem most burdened by overzealous parenting in their Herculean effort to be the best parent and raise the most well-adjusted children. “Parents, especially moms, believe that a good mother stimulates her children constantly, taking them to museums and signing them up for

In a recent article in The Atlantic, Richard Reeves presents another angle to the debate, citing research that universityeducated women are driving “a new marriage model, reinventing marriage as a child-rearing machine for a post-feminist and knowledge society. It’s egalitarian, committed and focused on children.”

According to Reeves, married, welleducated women are delaying childbearing until they are financially stable, and then pouring time, money and energy into raising their children, and while couples

occasionally manage a date night, every night is parenting night.

“It had been three years since my husband and I had more than one night alone,” says Natalie Martyn, writing for Parent24.com. “So we went on a sevenday, child-free, naughty, indulgent, sanityand marriage-saving bonanza. Every night we drank red wine and talked as if we’d just met, solving problems, planning the future, having whole conversations without being distracted by the verbal diarrhoea of an energetic toddler. We were like two stray magnets finally reunited.”

great expectations The paradox appears to be that we expect so much more from our marriages these days, but we tend to feed them less.

Many studies show that couples who do more things together are happier. Yet, says Dr John Gartner, “today’s parents, by substantial margins, spend less time alone together, less time entertaining friends, and less time in leisure activity than their parents did – primarily because of an increase in time spent intensively parenting their children.” And while parents talk

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relationships

earnestly about having downtime, they still feel compelled to sign their children up for a plethora of activities that range from piano lessons to chess club and everything in between.

But Nadia Thonnard, a parenting mediator at the South African Divorce Support Association (SADSA), says it’s not just couple needs but also individual needs that must be acknowledged. “Having ‘me-time’ is as important as having ‘us time’. Mothers should plan a girls’ night out while Dad is home taking care of the children and vice versa. And then couples should schedule a night or weekend away without their children.”

counsellor Margaret Fulton. “There’s also the fact that we’re living longer and better these days, so we need to nurture our partner relationships like we would any friendship if we want them to still be thriving when the children are out of the house.”

Nobody really knows for sure what to expect when children arrive on the scene.

There’s no accounting for the effects of an oxytocin high or the unrelenting cuteness, not to mention the primal desire to protect and nurture at any cost, but try to remember that in providing for your child’s needs, one of the most important is to have parents who really love each other and nurture what they had before baby

The transition from couplehood to parenthood makes one of the greatest stressors in the life of a marriage.

Parents should not sacrifice their needs (or desires) for the sake of their children, declared a Gauteng mom boldly at a recent baby expo, because what will be left of the relationship with their spouse when the children leave home? “They can’t do the best job as parents if their partnership is no good,” adds Cape Town-based relationship

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how to nurture the couple relationship Some tips from psychologist Dr Leisa Bailey… renegotiate your relationship Discuss the division of labour and how to manage time with all your new demands. Resentments are inevitable if responsibilities are not shared. don’t find time, make time Carve out daily time – even just 20 minutes is good enough – and a larger block to spend together weekly.

Focus on maintaining a sense of knowing each other well and nurturing your friendship. it’s the little things Especially with young children, don’t set romantic expectations too high.

Grand gestures are great, but it’s the simple things that make a difference.

Bringing coffee to your spouse or leaving a note of appreciation can have a tremendous impact. learn to grow Research shows that learning something new or engaging in fresh experiences together makes a couple feel more connected. You need to see your spouse as someone other than a parent. successful couples touch Make both sexual and nonsexual touching an important priority. When children are young, and new parents are overwhelmed and exhausted, it’s essential to find creative ways to stay physically connected and protect your intimacy.

made three. This model will set them up for better marriages themselves when they grow up. On airplanes, says Gartner, in the event of an emergency, we are instructed to put the oxygen mask on our own faces first, and then on the children. Perhaps this is a safety measure that should apply to marriage too.

magazine joburg

resource

discover

PHOTOGRAPHS: Eileen Walker / Ivan Booth / TAMLYN VINCENT / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

clarens and parys Use our nifty guide to explore these historical towns and their surrounds with your family. By SIMONE JEFFERY clarens Nestled in the Rooiberg Mountain range lies the charming village of Clarens. It was established in 1912 and named after the Swiss village of Clarens where Paul Kruger spent his last days in voluntary exile. Clarens is a three-and-a-half hour drive from Joburg and is perfect for nature lovers, adventurers and culture buffs.

things to do Browse art In town, you can visit the numerous art and craft shops and enjoy a hearty meal at one of the restaurants surrounding the square. Many artists live in and around town and consequently there are more than 20 art galleries, some offering art classes.

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Out and about There are various outdoor pursuits on offer such as horse riding, whitewater rafting, quad bikes, zip lines, abseiling, rock climbing, trout and bass fishing, clay pigeon shooting and hot-air balloon rides. Clarens Xtreme Adventures offers several of these activities at their site in town. They also offer day tours and hire out mountain bikes. There are unique archaeological sites around Clarens, including dinosaur fossil sites and San rock art paintings in nearby caves. A comprehensive dinosaur tour will take you in search of fossilised dinosaur footprints and give you an opportunity to see fossilised teeth, claws, limb bones and leaf impressions of ancient ferns. It is an easy two-hour walk and is suitable for all ages. San rock art can be seen while on a hike in Schaapplaats, a stud farm 8km outside of Clarens, or

at St Fort Country House while on the two-day Cannibal Trail. Both farms offer accommodation and cycling trails, and Schaapplaats offers guided horse trails into the mountains for experienced riders, and shorter trails and picnic rides for children and less experienced riders.

Wildlife and culture To the east of Clarens lies the Golden Gate Highlands National Park, a protected reserve that is home to a variety of mammals including black wildebeest, eland, blesbok, oribi, springbok, Burchell’s zebra and the rare bearded vulture. Within the park you will find the Basotho Cultural Village, a 16th-century village with huts built and furnished according to the period. Visitors can gain insight into the history and heritage of the South Sotho people while looking inside their homes, sipping

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resource

traditional beer and walking along the Matlakeng herbal trail with a traditional healer who will locate an array of grasses, roots, herbs, leaves and bark and explain their medicinal and ritual uses.

favoured accommodation for families There are several accommodation options in and around Clarens, from quaint guesthouses and luxurious hotels, to cowboy ranches and even a castle.

Clarens Country House They offer four self-catering apartments themed around the work of Herman Charles Bosman. Families with children of all ages are welcome to stay in the Bosman Suite with two en-suite bedrooms upstairs and a lounge with DStv, a dining area and fully-equipped kitchen downstairs. There is a large garden, braai facilities and a children’s playground on the estate.

The French Cottage This is situated on Naauwpoort, one of the original farms on which Clarens was founded. The fully-equipped cottage sleeps six and has underfloor heating throughout the bedrooms, an open-plan kitchen and a dining area. The cottage is surrounded by established fruit trees, and the garden is fenced in so your children won’t be able to wander off. There is also a perennial waterfall.

Castle in Clarens This magical guesthouse is modelled on the fairytale of Rapunzel by the Brothers Grimm. A lot of thought has gone into the design and décor of the castle, which caters to four people with two en-suite bedrooms. It is self catering, with breakfast available on request, but if you prefer you can order prepared meals to be delivered to the guesthouse.

interesting facts • T he Clarens Brewery makes handcrafted beer and cider that is unpasteurised, and preservative and additive free. They host the Clarens Craft Beer Festival every year in February. Visit clarensbrewery.co.za • Clarens is also known for its sandstone mountains.

Formations to look out for include the Titanic – a large, jutting rock at the entrance to Clarens that looks like a sinking ship; Mushroom Rock near St Fort Country House; the golden Brandwag cliffs in the Golden Gate Highlands National Park, and heading towards Fouriesburg on Lesoba Guest Farm is the Queen Victoria rock formation.

for more info Mountain Odyssey – booking office for outdoor activities and accommodation 058 256 1173/1480 odyssey@isat.co.za infoclarens.com

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magazine joburg

parys Approximately an hour’s drive from Joburg lies the leisure and adventure town of Parys.

The town was built in 1883 to provide a more convenient location for religious services for those living in the area, and was named by a German land surveyor who had served in the Franco-Prussian war and took part in the siege of Paris. He saw Parys as the city of the future, once the gold mines of Joburg dried up, and imagined a blossoming town on both sides of the Vaal River; his River Seine.

things to do Geological tour Today Parys is famous for two things: pink granite and the Vredefort Dome. The Vredefort Dome is a meteorite impact crater that was formed when a 10km-wide meteorite hit the Earth roughly 2 000 million years ago. It is a World Heritage Site. The crater is the oldest and largest meteorite impact site in the world, nearly twice as big as the impact that killed the dinosaurs. Long since eroded, the remaining structure consists of a partial ring of hills 70km in diameter. Pink granite is a direct result of the meteoric impact and Parys is the only place on the planet where you’ll find it. As the land around the dome is privately owned, it is best viewed while on a geological tour with a registered and qualified tour guide.

Adventure There is plenty more on offer for adventurers. You can contact Real Adventures if you would like to ride the rapids of the Vaal River, play paintball, abseil, rapp jump, or go on a quad bike game drive. Age restrictions apply to the various activities, but children seven years and older can take part in river rafting, abseiling and rapp jumping, and children four years and older can go on a one-and-a-half hour nature trail and picnic in the dome.

Out and about When leaving Parys and heading towards the N1 Highway you will pass the Dell Cheetah Centre where you can learn a few interesting facts about, and interact with, the cheetahs – stroke them, let them lick your hand and have your photo taken.

You will also pass the Bon-Af Berry Farm where you can pick your own gooseberries, blackberries and raspberries, and out of season you can roast your own coffee beans and make your own butter from scratch.

favoured accommodation for families The area has numerous accommodation options, ranging from the guesthouses in town with views of the river, to the camping and caravan sites and lodges just outside of town.

Village Lodge If you prefer to be within walking distance of the shops and restaurants, Village Lodge has self-catering cottages available in town as well as a larger self-catering villa on the Val de Grace Golf Estate that can for more info accommodate eight guests. The villa offers Parys information and tourism 056 811 4000 four bedrooms, a well-equipped kitchen, a info@parys.co.za comfortable lounge and dining area, and an parys.info undercover patio with braai facilities.

Hadeda Creek Outside of Parys, Hadeda Creek gives you the option of a luxury tent or a standard tent, each equipped with electricity, carpets and linen. Hadeda Creek often caters to school groups, bachelor parties and corporate teambuilding events, but they have two separate campsites so that the revellers don’t keep you up all night. Hadeda Creek offers river rafting excursions that are suitable for children seven years and older and has a swimming pool and volleyball court. magazine joburg

interesting facts • P arys has two 18-hole golf estates, which were both developed on islands in the Vaal River.

• The annual Parys Dome Adventure Festival takes place during the first weekend of November. Visit domefest.co.za

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31

books

a good

read preschoolers

toddlers Bumper Magnets: 6 Friends have Fun on the Farm!

By Brenda Apsley and Marie Allan (Published by Human and Rousseau, R143) Children aged three to six years old will love this interactive story where they decide which animal character will take part in every activity. The book comes with six soft and thick magnets that attach to certain areas on each page. Sheep, pony, pig, dog, cow or goat? Which of Billy the bull’s friends are strong enough to help him with his secret plan? Choose bumper picture magnets to complete the pages, then detach and play again.

Busy Machines: Beep! Beep!

By Julie Fletcher Peekaboo! Who are you?

By Georgie Birkett (Campbell Books, R122) Perfect for toddlers from one year old, this hardboard, easy-to-clean book is a great start for discovery in books.

On each page is a felt flap to lift, and behind each of these flaps something, or someone, is hiding in the garden.

Rhyming text and delightful illustrations make this a great addition to the bookshelf or toy box.

(Published by Scolastic, R99) The Busy Machines series is the perfect set to get little ones, from age three and younger, interested in books. The boardbook has chunky-shaped pages for little hands to discover lots of busy vehicles around town. In Beep! Beep! they follow the train that speeds off along the track, the bus that drives people to town and back, a lorry that rumbles along with its load and a motorbike that zooms off down the main road. Written in rhyming text, it’s also a great bedtime story.

The Castle of Cupcakes

By Lynn Bedford Hall and Jane Heinrichs (Published by Struik Lifestyle, R65) In this book, Mattie, the little girl who enters the secret dream world of animals every night, joins in the creatures’ Baby Show. Every animal mother wants her babies to be the prettiest and win the grand prize, which is a magnificent cupcake castle. But a nasty, greedy buffalo charges into the party and spoils all the fun. Once again, Mattie saves the day, and the show ends with a wonderfully happy celebration.

early graders

preschoolers

Peanuts: Snoopy saves the Day!

By Charles M Schultz (Published by Puffin Books, R88) It’s a windy day and Charlie Brown is doing everything he can to get a kite up in the sky. But the “kite-eating” trees keep interfering, until Charlie has only one kite left – his favourite. But how will he ever get it to fly when he’s faced with so many obstacles? Find out what happens in this hilarious Snoopy and friends storybook for children from the age of four years old.

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July 2015

Superworm

By Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler (Published by Scholastic, R127) In this winner of The Red House Book Award, children up to the age of five years old will meet Superworm. He is not your ordinary hero with massive muscles. Nope: he’s super-skinny, but not weedy at all.

When trouble strikes, this brave worm can turn into a life-saving rope. Or squiggle to the rescue in really tiny spaces. Julia Donaldson’s bouncy rhymes and Axel Scheffler’s jolly art contribute to children loving the super-helpful Superworm.

Mega Mash-up: Romans v Dinosaurs on Mars Activity Scrapbook

By Nikalas Catlow and Tim Wesson (Published by Nosy Crow, R152) The Romans and dinosaurs live together in a huge glass dome called Romasauria.

They race their rocket chariots and feast on Moon-Cow and chips until a giant asteroid threatens life on Mars. Will a wooden catapult and some dinosaur poo save the day? Children from the age of six years old can finish the illustrations to find out.

The Egg Thieves

By Joan Lingard (Published by Catnip Publishing, R98) Everyone in Lecky Grant’s village is furious when precious eggs are stolen from an osprey nest. Lecky and his friend, Nora, are determined that the culprits don’t strike again, but are they looking for them in the right place? They build a hide and keep a close watch on anything suspicious in their village. They begin to suspect the local handyman, but spot the real culprits just in time. This is a charming story for young readers from an award-winning author. magazine joburg

preteens and teens

Body Works

By Anna Claybourne

early graders

(Published by Random House Struik, R106) How do we see, hear and smell? How do our muscles enable us to move?

Why is blood red? With Body Works children won’t only be able to answer these questions about the human body, but they’ll also have tons of fun learning.

Filled with interesting facts and fun activities, Body Works is the ideal gift for young anatomy enthusiasts. A young reader can easily navigate the book by using the four sections as a guide.

The author uses informal and easy-tounderstand language that will keep even the youngest readers interested.

101 Great Science Experiments

By Neil Ardley (Published by Dorling Kindersley, R156) Make science fun with 101 exciting stepby-step experiments that are safe and easy to do at home. Science writer Neil Ardley shows how you can use everyday objects to discover the basic principles of science and understand how these apply to the world around you. So, if you want to make a volcano erupt, see around corners, find out how your eyes work, or build an electromagnet, this fascinating book for children from the age of 10 years old will show you how. Experiments are sorted in 11 categories, including liquids, electricity, and motion and the senses. Illustrated steps make projects easy and fun.

The History Keepers: Nightship to China

By Damian Dibben

Killing you Softly

By Lucy Carver

(Published by Random House, R146) When shocking news reaches the History Keepers’ headquarters, Jake Djones is sent headfirst into a new adventure.

The time-travelling agents voyage from Shakespeare’s England to Imperial China in pursuit of their most villainous foe yet, Xi Xiang, whose aim is to destroy trade links between East and West and throw the world into war. Jake, Nathan and Topaz must join forces with international agents in a race against the clock to stop him. And at the heart of the battle lies the key to a long-lost family member – will Jake find his brother after all this time?

(Published by Pan Macmillan, R120) This is the second book in the Young, Gifted and Dead series for children from the age of 11 years old, about a boarding school for the wealthy and gifted elite.

After the tragic events of last term, Alyssa arrives back at St Jude’s to a school full of freaked-out students. They are wary of her ability to remember every tiny thing they do, and Alyssa’s beginning to feel lonely and ostracised. Then she gets an email, seemingly from a secret admirer.

At first Alyssa is intrigued, but with a murder in the nearby town, she realises she’s in too deep.

parenting

Birdseye

By Máire Fisher

for us

(Published by Umuzi, R210) As children growing up at Marchbanks, an imposing mansion built high on a hill above a Cape seaside town, Bird and her five siblings love to hear the story of how their father wooed their mother, but they don’t know much about the past of their reclusive grandmother, Ma Bess, who rules Marchbanks from its shadows and keeps her stories firmly locked in her cold heart.

When Bird’s 10-year-old twin brothers, Oliver and Oscar, go missing after a day of fishing, Bird appoints herself the family scribe and begins writing to the brothers she refuses to believe are gone for good. magazine joburg

The List of my Desires

By Grégoire Delacourt (Published by Orion Books, R211) Jocelyne is 47. She lives in a small provincial French town, runs her own dressmaking shop, has been married to the same man for what seems like an eternity, has had two children and lives a very ordinary existence. In fact, so ordinary that she is beginning to wonder what happened to her and to all those dreams she had when she was 17. Then comes the chance to change her life completely – but should she? The List of my Desires is a wonderful, heart-warming novel about what we value in life and the search for happiness.

Five Days Left

By Julie Lawson Timmer (Published by Random House, R181) Mara is a successful lawyer, and devoted wife and mother. Struggling with a devastating illness, she has set herself five days to make the ultimate decision for her family. Scott lives a thousand miles away, and is a foster parent to a troubled eight year old. Scott is facing his own five-day countdown until his beloved foster son is returned to his biological mother. The two connect through an online forum, and find a friendship to help guide them through the most difficult, and momentous, week of their lives.

Everyday Blessings

By Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn (Published by Little Brown Book Group, R205) This practical book offers a clear outline for people who want to understand and embrace mindful parenting. It is one of the few books on parenting that embraces the emotional, intuitive and deeply personal experience of being a parent and shows you how to apply the practice of mindfulness meditation to parenting children of all ages. By encouraging moment-tomoment awareness and acceptance, this book will help you grow in compassion, enrich your life as a parent and nourish the internal life of your children.

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calendar

You can also access the calendar online at

what’s on in july

childmag.co.za

Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see.

Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY

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thu

special events

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FUN for children

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only for parents

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bump, baby & tot in tow

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how to help

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SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

Meet the Gruffalo A gruffalo?

What’s a gruffalo?

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ONLY FOR PARENTS

Solo evening with Joan Armatrading Joan is performing her final world tour.

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Learn to massage your baby Soothe problems such as colic, sleep and bonding issues with massage.

Volunteering made easy with Better SA A hop-on hop-off bus service for people wishing to volunteer their time and make a significant impact on the lives of the less fortunate.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / Susanne Holbaek

The Harlem Globetrotters See them perform upside-down shots, trick shots, unbelievable slam dunks and three pointers.

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calendar

SPECIAL EVENTS 4 saturday DStv Kids Xtravaganza Featuring the Teletubbies and I can Cook from Cbeebies. Ends 9 July. Time: tbc.

Venue: Vodacom World, 082 Vodacom Boulevard, Midrand. Cost: tbc. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or computicket.com GeekFest 2015 A fun-filled day with games and competitions for all ages, snow, cosplay, a beer garden, market, medieval martial arts, a zombie run and a supervised children’s play area. Time: 10am. Venue: Huddle Park Golf and Recreation, 121 Club St, Linksfield. Cost: adults R80, children under 12 years old free. Book through Webtickets: 086 111 0005 or Facebook: Geek Fest SA LinguaMites open day View the school’s new premises in Randburg and find out more about this preschool. For parents of 1–6 year olds. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: LinguaMites Multilingual Preschool, 333 York Ave, Ferndale. Cost: free. Contact: 072 561 3113, info@linguamites.co.za or linguamites.co.za

9 thursday Dainfern College open day Parents can see the school in action and meet the principals, staff and pupils. For parents of children from Grade 0–12. Time: 9am–10am. Venue: Dainfern College, Broadacres Dr, Dainfern. Cost: free. Contact: 011 469 0635, info@dainferncollege.co.za or dainferncollege.co.za

17 fri

The Harlem Globetrotters This US-based exhibition basketball squad is bringing a unique blend of athleticism and theatre to the centre court. Also 10 July. Time: 2pm Thursday, 7pm Friday.

Venue: The Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding. Cost: R150–R650. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or computicket.com

Graham Walker’s Science Circus An interactive science show featuring experiments you can try at home along with plenty you shouldn’t, such as rockets and a bazooka that fires marshmallows. Booking essential. Also 13 July. Time: 10am and 12pm. Venue: Sci-Bono Discovery Centre, cnr Miriam Makeba St and President St, Newtown. Cost: adults R40, pensioners, students and children 3–16 years old R25, children under 3 years old free. Contact: 011 639 8459 or bookings@sci-bono.co.za

11 saturday Meet the Minions Also 12 and 14 July. Time: Bedford Centre 11:30am–1pm, Clearwater Mall 11am–12:30pm, Montecasino 5:30pm. Venue: 11 July Aladdin’s Caves, Bedford Centre, Bradford Rd, Bedford Gardens, 12 July NuMetro Clearwater Mall, cnr Hendrik Potgieter Dr and Christiaan de Wet Rd, Strubensvalley, Roodepoort, 14 July Montecasino, cnr Witkoppen Rd and William Nicol Dr, Fourways. Cost: free. Contact Bedford Centre: 011 622 1840, Clearwater Mall: 011 288 5260 or Montecasino: 011 510 7000 St Benedict’s College Highland Gathering Enjoy Highland dancing, a beer tent, food stalls, a craft market and more. Time: 8am–6pm. Venue: main field at St Benedict’s College, Harcus Rd, Bedfordview. Cost: adults R30, pensioners and children under 12 years old free.

Contact: 011 455 1906/8

16 thursday

World of Dogs and Cats and Pet Exhibition Join in the festivities and make new furry, feathered and slippery friends. Ends 19 July. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Gallagher Convention Centre, 19 Richard Dr, Midrand. Cost: adults R90, pensioners and scholars R75, children under 12 years old R50, children under 2 years old free.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or dogscats.co.za

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10 friday

Coffee and Chocolate Expo Coffee connoisseurs can take part in workshops, learn techniques and tips for making great coffee at home, and watch as celebrity chefs go up against each other in a cook-off using chocolate and coffee. Ends 19 July. Time: 4:30pm–9pm Thursday, 9:30am–9pm Friday and Saturday, 9:30am–6pm Sunday.

Venue: Montecasino, cnr Witkoppen Rd and William Nicol Dr, Fourways. Cost: R80– R100, children under 10 years old free. For more info: coffeechoc.co.za Turbine Art Fair A showcase of contemporary art and emerging African talent. There is a children’s area, great food, live music and daily talks with influential speakers in the world of art, collecting and design. You can also buy art pieces.

Ends 19 July. Time: 10am–8pm Friday, 10am–6pm Saturday, 10am–5pm Sunday.

Venue: Turbine Hall, 65 Ntemi Piliso St, Newtown. Cost: R85, weekend pass R180.

For more info: turbineartfair.co.za

sat

Blood Brothers

Ten top South African musicians are uniting for one night to raise funds for the Vrede Foundation, a nonprofit organisation that raises funds for young South Africans with cancer who do not have medical aid. Time: 8pm. Venue: Carnival City’s Big Top Arena, cnr Century Rd and Elsburg Rd, Brakpan. Cost: R250–R350.

Book through Webtickets: 086 111 0005 or webtickets.co.za

formula, toiletries, stationery and secondhand items for those in need. Time: 9am– 2pm. Venue: Carlswald Lifestyle Centre, New Rd, Midrand. Cost: free. Contact: 082 627 6866, michelle@botshabelo.co.za or botshabelo.co.za St Andrew’s School for Girls eco trail The school is celebrating Mandela Day by inviting you to take part in their annual eco trail hike. There is a 10km trail run as well as a 5km and 10km hike. Time: 8am–12pm.

Venue: Huddle Park Golf and Recreation, 121 Club St, Linksfield. Cost: R80. Contact: 011 453 9408 or standrews.co.za The Gift of Joy soup kitchen They aim to feed 1 000 hungry children in the Diepsloot community. They ask for volunteers, donations or food hamper sponsors. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Reshomile Primary School, Diepsloot. Cost: Mandela Day T-shirt R200 (pre-ordered before 3 July), food hamper R250. Contact: 073 750 7992 or nicky@joynpo.org The Lonehill Otters Challenge Take up the challenge and run or walk the 6,7km fun run in support of Mandela Day. All ages welcome as well as dogs on leads. There are food vendors and a short children’s run/walk. Time: registration 7am, run starts 8am. Venue: Lonehill Park, Calderwood Dr, Lonehill (park next to the fire station on Lonehill Boulevard). Cost: R40, babies in prams free. Contact: 011 465 9196 or Facebook: Lonehill Residents Association

19 sunday Centrum Kids Like2Bike series Event number four in the series sees children

taking part in a 2km, 5km, 10km or extralong 15km cycle. For 2–14 year olds. Time: 10am. Venue: Heia Safari Ranch, plot 59 Beyers Naudé Dr, Muldersdrift. Cost: online pre-entry R120, on the day R130. Contact: 083 326 6721 or like2bike.co.za

23 thursday Good Food and Wine Show A tasteful journey with interactive cooking, celebrity chefs, activities for children, wine appreciation and tastings, craft beer and more. Ends 26 July.

Time: 10am–8pm Thursday–Saturday, 10am–6pm Sunday. Venue: The Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding. Cost: adults R130, pensioners R110, children 13–18 years old R110, children 7–12 years old R50, children under 6 years old free. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or goodfoodandwineshow.co.za Student Expo This expo provides high school students with guidance and direction and gives them a chance to learn more about student life, from accommodation to sporting opportunities. Ends 25 July. Time: 9am–6pm Thursday and Friday, 9am–3pm Saturday. Venue: Greenstone Mall, cnr Van Riebeeck Ave and Modderfontein Rd, Greenstone Hill. Cost: free entry. For more info: student-expo.com

25 saturday Reefsteamers open day See what happens at a steam train depot and experience the daily events that make steam train travel happen. There

18 saturday Mandela Day with Botshabelo Help Botshabelo fill 67 square metres with donations, such as groceries, nappies,

18 July – St Andrew’s School for Girls eco trail

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calendar are guided tours, displays, a train trip from Rhodesfield, entertainment for the children and a craft market. Time: tbc. Venue: Reefsteamers, Rhodesfield Gautrain station. Cost: tbc. Contact: 011 875 2354, bookings@reefsteamers.com or reefsteamers.com

26 sunday 702 Walk the Talk Walk the 5km, 8km or 15km routes for a cause, belief or charity, or to take a stand for a principle you believe in. Time: from 7:30am. Venue: Marks Park Sports Club, Judith Rd, Emmarentia.

Cost: R120–R170. For more info: walkthetalk.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science CAN Craze Competition Learners who build the craziest and most creative can structure from 300 or more cans stand a chance of winning prizes. 1 June– 30 September. Cost: free. Contact: 011 466 2939 or collectacan.co.za Morning After Dark by David Lurie David Lurie’s solo exhibition is a series of urban landscapes of the formal and informal parts of Cape Town, all of which have been taken in early morning light.

10 May–12 July. Time: 9am–5pm Tuesday– Sunday. Venue: Bensusan Museum and Library of Photography, Museum Africa, Newtown. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 833 5624 or davidlurie.co.uk The Art of The Brick View the 75 art sculptures created from more than a million Lego bricks. Ends 2 August. Time: 9am–6pm.

Venue: The Zone @ Rosebank, Oxford Rd, Rosebank. Cost: adults R140, children under 18 years old R95, children under 2 years old free. For more info: theartofthebricksa.co.za The Ice Age Exhibition Take a peek into a fascinating time when mammoths, sabretoothed cats and giant sloths roamed the earth. Featuring 45 moving, life-size animals and an interactive zone. 20 June– 7 August. Time: 9am–7pm Monday–Friday, 9am–8pm Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Sandton Convention Centre, 161 Maude St, Sandton. Cost: adults R145, children R99, children under 18 months (or shorter than the sloth) free, families (2 adults and 2 children) R435. For more info: theiceage.co.za

family outings Eastgate Ice Rink Practise your spins, spirals and glides and enjoy live skating performances, professional coaching and more. 27 June–19 July. Time: 9am–6pm Monday–Thursday, 9am–9pm Friday, 9am–5pm Saturdays, Sundays and public holidays. Venue: Strelitzia Court, Eastgate Shopping Centre, 43 Bradford Rd, Bedfordview. Cost: R20 per half-hour session.

For more info: eastgateshops.com

Fun and games at Yeesh!

Supervised holiday programme suitable for 4–10 year olds for drop-offs; 1–4 year olds if visiting with a caregiver. 29 June–20 July.

Time: 9am–5pm daily. Venue: Yeesh! Fun for Kids, Woodmead Commercial Park, Waterval Crescent, Woodmead. Cost: R160 per day, R75 for two hours.

Contact: 011 656 9669, 083 923 2306 or info@yeesh.co.za

languages from around the globe. Filled with drama, dance and song. For 5–9 year olds.

29 June–2 July. Time: Parkhurst 10am–12pm, Bryanston 2pm–4pm. Venues: The Parkhurst Moth Hall, Parkhurst; The Dance Junxion, Coachman’s Crossing, Bryanston. Cost: tbc.

Contact: 011 025 2525 or buzzdrama.com Expressions winter holiday camp Supervised games and activities for children 5 years and older. Younger children are welcome if they are accustomed to attending a full school day and structured activities.

Booking essential. 29 June–17 July. Time: 8am–4:30pm Monday–Friday. Venue: Expressions Centre, Norfolk Rd, Carlswald, Midrand. Cost: R260. Contact: 082 402 8169 or expressionsinfocus.co.za Fame Academy Acting, singing and dancing classes for 6–18 year olds taught by theatre and television professionals.

6–11 July. Time: 9am–12pm Monday– Friday, final performance 10am–1:30pm Saturday. Venue: Crawford College High School, Waterstone Dr, Benmore, Sandton.

Cost: R1 000. Contact: 082 336 4424 or fameacademy.co.za Holiday fun at The Taste Bud Cooking and baking afternoons themed to your favourite Disney movies, Christmas in July gingerbread houses and high teas. Booking essential. For 5–15 year olds. 1–16 July.

Time: 9am–12pm or 1pm–4pm. Venue: The Taste Bud Cooking Studio, 3 Waterford Place, Paulshof. Cost: from R280 per child per day. Contact: 071 136 1622 or info@ tastebudstudio.co.za

holiday programmes Around the World Children take part in an imagination adventure in the Buzz mobile to collect special ingredients with Chef Soufflé.

During this high energy course, boys and girls learn about traditions, cultures and

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29 June–2 July – Around the World

IEA pony camp A sleepover camp with horse riding and a host of other fun activities. Booking essential. For 6–18 year olds. 12–17 July. Time: 5pm. Venue: The IEA Yard, plot 123, End Rd, Golfview, Walkerville. Cost: R2 000. Contact: 082 449 6663 or info@iea-elite.co.za Imagine Your Life holiday programme A fun day filled with activities on life skills including activities based on the book, Imagine Your Life: You Can Rule Your World.

For children 8 years and older. 29 and 30 June. Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: Imagine The Venue, Chartwell (behind Broadacres).

Cost: R300 per day, R500 for both. Contact: 082 928 7474 or imaginethevenue.co.za In the Forest holiday camp An outdoor programme that includes obstacle courses, relay races, camp games, art and crafts, swimming, hikes and more. For children 6–13 years old. Superhero week 29 June– 3 July, Space week 6–10 July. Time: 7am–6pm Monday–Friday. Venue: R82/Old Vereeniging Rd, Eikenhof (transport from Sharondale Nursery in Brackenhurst). Cost: R205 per day; sibling discounts apply; transport R65 per child. Contact: 076 575 8003, 076 035 4038 or intheforest.co.za Kidz Fishing Camp Children get close to nature and learn how to fish, tie knots, canoe and more. For 7–14 year olds.

7–9 July. Time: all day. Venue: Vaal River.

Cost: R1 200. Contact: 083 610 2911 or kidzfishingcamp.co.za

30 June–2 July, 7–9 July and 14–16 July – Lory Park Zoo’s ranger day

Lory Park Zoo’s ranger day 30 June– 2 July, 7–9 July and 14–16 July. For 6–16 year olds. Time: 8am–4pm. Venue: Lory Park Zoo and Owl Sanctuary, 181 Kruger Rd, Midrand. Cost: R180. Contact: 011 315 7307 or education@lorypark.co.za Montecasino Bird Gardens holiday programme Young animal-lovers can enjoy a full morning of activities, including the bird show, interactive tours, crafts and workshops on slithering snakes and play bush ranger. Booking essential. For 6–11 year olds. 29 June–17 July. Time: 8:30am–2:30pm Monday–Friday. Venue: Montecasino Bird Gardens, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways.

Cost: R135 per child per day. Contact: 011 511 1864 or visit montecasino.co.za Shepherd’s Fold Stables pony camp Spend time on a real horse farm grooming, feeding and riding ponies. No riding experience needed. Booking essential. For 6–14 year olds, campers need to be 8 years and older. 29 June–3 July. Time: 8am–5pm.

Venue: Shepherd’s Fold Stables, 55 Sunset

12–17 July – IEA pony camp

Dr, Elandsdrift, Lanseria. Cost: R300 per day, R50 extra per night. Contact: 084 220 2657 or belinda.milsom@gmail.com Skidz creative holiday programme Each day is packed with creative activities, from pottery and beading to painting and themed crafts. Booking essential.

For children 3 years and older. 29 June– 15 July. Time: varies. Venue: Brackenhurst, Alberton. Cost: R80–R120. Contact: 061 612 1440 or skidz.co.za Sugar Bay holiday camp With more than 100 free-choice activities and themed excursions. For 7–17 year olds. Waffles and Ice Cream week: 5–12 July, Tour de France week: 12–19 July. Time: 3pm–9am. Venue: Sugar Bay Holiday Resort, Zinkwazi Beach, KZN. Cost: R5 699. Contact: 032 485 3778 or sugarbay.co.za Supersport United Soccer Schools holiday camp Learn the fundamentals of soccer, make new friends and improve your level of play. Booking essential. For boys and girls 5–13 years old. 29 June– 2 July and 13–16 July. Time: 8am–12pm.

Venue: Rietvlei Zoo Farm, Swartkoppies Rd, between Alberton and Mulbarton. Cost: from R175 per day, includes refreshments and a snack. Contact: 083 262 2862 or thesouth@ssuss.co.za TamTam Kids holiday programme Children can take part in a variety of activities, from baking and art and crafts, to fantasy play, jungle gyms and more.

For 3–12 year olds. 6–17 July. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: 32A Burn St, Waverley.

Cost: R300 per day, siblings R250. Contact: 082 807 7100 or tamtamkids@gmail.com The Winter Craft School Take part in traditional crafts from forging with steel, copper beating, woodworking, textile design and print to jewellery making and more. Booking essential. For children 9 years and older, including adults. 29 June–3 July.

Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Michael Mount Waldorf School, Culross Rd, Bryanston.

Cost: R1 450 for the week. Contact: 083 454 4076 or craftschoolsa.com Winter fun at the library Make your own stationery holder and a winter collage the following week. For 3–13 year olds.

1 and 8 July. Time: 10am–11:30am. Venue: Weltevreden Park Library, 1 203 Fern Rd. Cost: free. Contact: 011 679 3406 Zak Enviro holiday club Spend some time on the farm working in the yard, going on nature walks, riding your bike and taking part in craft and nature activities.

Booking essential. For children 4–13 years old. 29 June–3 July, 6–10 and 13–17 magazine joburg

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calendar July. Time: half-day 8am–1pm, full day 8am–4pm. Venue: Rietvlei Zoo Farm, Swartkoppies Rd. Cost: half-day R150, full day R200, excluding meals. Contact: 083 665 6334 or adelespear@gmail.com

Joburg Ballet Highlights

markets Books2You Book Fair Hundreds of books to discover. Every book bought helps get free books for your school. 21 and 22 July, 23 and 24 July. Time: 10am–3pm Tuesday and Thursday, 7:30am–1pm Wednesday and Friday. Venue: 21 and 22 July: Bellavista, 35 Wingfield Ave, Birdhaven, 23 and 24 July: Curro Serengeti, Serengeti Golf and Wildlife Estate, Serengeti, Kempton Park. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 705 7744 or orders@ books2you.co.za Farmer’s Market @ Bamboo A weekly market offering local and organic fresh produce, farm milk and butter, free-range eggs and chickens, preservative-free bread, fair trade coffee and more. Time: 9am–1pm every Saturday. Venue: on the roof Upstairs at Bamboo Lifestyle Centre, 53 Rustenburg Rd, Melville. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 284 6226, info@bamboo-online.co.za or bamboo-online.co.za The Blubird Wholefood Market Sample your way around this intimate food market and meet all the chefs and cooks that prepare the delicious delights. Time: 9am–2pm every Sunday. Venue: Blubird Shopping Centre, Athol Oaklands Rd, off

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10 fri

Corlett Dr, Birnam. Cost: free. Contact: 083 311 4768, wholefoodmarket@gmail.com or wholefoodmarket.weebly.com Urban Market at Lemongrass A monthly market that offers fresh herbs and vegetables, jams and preserves, artisan bread, artworks, tableware, repurposed wooden items, hand-beaded jewellery and more. There is entertainment for the children and live music. 26 July. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Lemongrass Restaurant, 36 and 38 Russel St, Western Ext, Benoni.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 284 4777 or Facebook: Lemongrass Urban Market

on stage and screen All Directions A tribute to the music of the British pop boy band, One Direction. Also

Joburg Ballet has put together a showcase blending the best in classical ballet, spiced with three uniquely South African works. 10 and 11 July. Time: 8pm Friday and Saturday, 3pm Saturday.

Venue: Roodepoort Theatre, 100 Christiaan De Wet Rd, Roodepoort. Cost: R140–R170.

Book through the Roodepoort Theatre: 0861 670 670 or roodepoorttheatre.com

on the bill is music by the artists who share the airwaves, charts and award-winning nominations with them such as Pharrel Williams, Robin Thicke, Miley Cyrus, Avicci and more. 4, 11 and 18 July. Time: Rivonia 2pm, Emperors Palace 1pm. Venues: 4 July: Barnyard Theatre Rivonia, 11 and 18 July: Barnyard Theatre Emperors Palace.

Cost: R100. Contact Rivonia: 087 236 3088, Emperors Palace: 011 823 6933 or barnyardtheatre.co.za Beautiful Creatures A 20-minute show featuring some of Beautiful Creatures’ bestloved songs, including Imvubu the Happiest Hippo, Lucas the Lazy Lion, Harry the Hungry Hadeda and Mafutha the Elephant. 4 and 5 July. Time: 11am, 1pm and 3pm.

Venue: Montecasino outdoor piazza stage,

cnr Witkoppen Rd and William Nicol Dr, Fourways. Cost: free. For more info: beautifulcreatures.co.za Disney on Ice – Let’s Celebrate A colossal party on the ice featuring more than 50 classic and contemporary Disney characters in a captivating compilation of favourite holidays and celebrations from around the globe. 26 June–5 July. Time: varies.

Venue: The Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding. Cost: R100–R400. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or computicket.com Little Shop of Horrors The wacky, rock musical tells of a hapless New York florist’s assistant who inadvertently rears a man-eating, alien plant. Starring Alan Committie as Seymour. Parental guidance is advised. 12 June–9 August. Time: 8pm Tuesday–Saturday, 5pm Saturday, 3pm and 6pm Sunday. Venue: Pieter Toerien Main Theatre, Montecasino, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: R100– R325. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or computicket.com Lord of The Dance: Dangerous Games A spectacular new staging of the traditional masterpiece. Michael Flatley will make a special guest appearance during the first two weeks. 14 July–8 August. Time: 8pm. Venue: Teatro at Montecasino, cnr William Nicol Dr and Montecasino Boulevard, Fourways. Cost: R455–R625.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or computicket.com

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10 July–15 August – Sister Act – The Musical

Montecasino’s Classic Drive-In Snuggle up in your car and enjoy a screening of one of your all-time favourites. There is a cafeteria where you can purchase popcorn, candy floss, toffee apples, hot dogs and more. Space is limited and parking will be on a first come, first served basis. 19 June– 4 July. Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: Montecasino outdoor event area, cnr Witkoppen Rd and William Nicol Dr, Fourways. Cost: R200 per car. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or computicket.com

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Shrek Jnr the Musical This theatrical production tells the tale of a green ogre and his efforts to win back his swamp.

Booking essential. 1 June–2 August. Time: 9am and 11am Monday–Friday, 10:30am and 2:30pm Saturdays, public holidays and during government school holidays.

Venue: Peoples Theatre, Joburg Theatre Complex, cnr Loveday St and Hoofd St, Braamfontein. Cost: R120, club members R80, attending with a club member R100, schools R70. Contact: 011 403 1563/2340 or peoplestheatre.co.za Sister Act – The Musical A musical comedy based on the top-grossing 1992 movie starring Whoopi Goldberg. 10 July– 15 August. Time: 8pm Tuesday–Saturday, 3pm Saturday, 2pm Sunday. Venue: Joburg Theatre, 163 Civic Boulevard, Braamfontein.

Cost: R200–R350. Book through the Joburg Theatre box office: 0861 670 670 or joburgtheatre.com The Adventures of Oliver Twist This is a new version of the ever-popular tale.

Booking essential. 8 June–19 July. Time: varies. Venue: National Children’s Theatre, 3 Junction Ave, Parktown. Cost: chairs R110, cushions R90. Contact: 011 484 1584 or nationalchildrenstheatre.org.za The Dance Illustrations of Beatrix Potter A dance production that brings to life the famous characters from Beatrix Potter’s tales, including Peter Rabbit, Mr Jeremy Fisher, Mrs Tiggywinkle and Jemima Puddle Duck. 3–5 July. Time: 7:30pm Friday and

Saturday, 3pm Saturday and Sunday, 11am Sunday. Venue: Roodepoort Theatre, 100 Christiaan De Wet Rd, Roodepoort. Cost: R130, children under 12 years old R100.

Book through the Roodepoort Theatre: 0861 670 670 or roodepoorttheatre.com

playtime and story time Kinder Theatre’s July programme Charming puppet and magic shows suitable for children 3 years and older.

Booking essential. 4 and 16 July: The African tree alphabet. 7 and 18 July: Kallie the Clown. 11 July: There’s a Dragon in my Castle. 14 July: Darin the Magician. 21 July: The Wizard, the Witch and the Fairy.

25 and 28 July: Fred and Fiona (shadow puppets). Time: 3:30pm every Tuesday, 10am every Saturday. Venue: Kinderspiel, 39A Greenhill Rd, Emmarentia. Cost: R55.

Contact: 011 646 0870 or kinderspiel@ telkomsa.net

Meet the Gruffalo Listen to a storytelling, take part in a colouring-in activity, receive your own Gruffalo stickers and balloon, and meet the Gruffalo. 27 June, and 4, 11 and 12 July. For 2–6 year olds. Time: 10am–11am. Venue: 27 June: Reader’s Warehouse Randburg, 4 July: Reader’s Warehouse Hillfox, 11 July: Reader’s Warehouse Broadacres, 12 July: Reader’s Warehouse Norwood. Cost: free. Contact: 011 467 0390 or readerswarehouse.co.za Run and play at Serendipity Relax and unwind in the garden while your children enjoy the playground, scooters and climbing frames, the dress-up area and art and crafts activities. Time: 9am–5pm Tuesday–Friday, 8:30am–5pm Saturday, 8:30am–4:30pm Sunday. Venue: 48 Keyes Ave, Rosebank. Cost: adults free, R45 for the first child, R40 for the second child, R30 for every additional child. Contact: 011 447 7386 or serendipityplay.co.za

sport and physical activities

4–28 July – Kinder Theatre’s July programme

A walk in the park A reasonable level of fitness is required if you want to take part in the guided hikes (10km) and walks (4km) on the rocky slopes of Melville Koppies. Dog walk 4 July, guided walks 5 and 12 July, and guided hike 19 July. For adults and children 6 years and older. Time: 5 July 2pm, 12 and 19 July 8:30am, 4 July 8am. Venue: park at Marks Park, Judith Rd, Emmarentia. Cost: adults R50, children R20. Contact: 011 482 4797 or mk.org.za

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calendar

22 July – Beat the bullying

ITA tennis clinic Tennis clinics for 3–16 year olds. 29 June–3 July and 13–17 July. Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venues: 29 June–3 July: Craighall Park Tennis Club, St Alban’s Rd, Craighall, and Lonehill Crawford Preparatory School, Sceales Rd, Lonehill, and 13–17 July: Lonehill Crawford Preparatory School, Sceales Rd, Lonehill.

Cost: R300–R990 for five days. Contact: 083 443 3391 or itatennis.co.za Like2Bike Fundamentals MTB skills course Get junior off to a great start by giving the gift of skill, confidence and a grounding in cycling safety. Booking essential. For 2–12 year olds. 12 July. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Northern Farm, R114 to Diepsloot, Nietgedacht. Cost: R250, pre-entries only. Contact: 083 326 6721 or kirsty@like2bike.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Beat the bullying Whether you’re being bullied or you are the bully, it is a problem that affects us all. Learn how to teach yourself and your child to be assertive and master life lessons for growth. 22 July.

Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Psychmatters Family Centre, 9 Park St, Bedfordview.

Cost: R450. Contact: 011 450 3576 or info@psychmatters.co.za Courses with Domestic Bliss Have your domestic worker trained on an accredited cooking course or send your caregiver on a practical home-based care training programme designed to prepare caregivers to assist recuperating patients and the frail. Cooking course starts 1 July; homebased care starts 11 July. Time: cooking course 8:30am–2pm, home-based care 8:30am–3:30pm. Venue: Domestic Bliss, 235 Jan Smuts Ave, Parktown North.

Cost: cooking course R2 400 (five weekly sessions), home-based care R1 850 (three weekly sessions). Contact: 011 447 5517, 083 525 4992 or domesticbliss.co.za Looking at children’s art An experiential workshop, run by an art psychotherapist, that will help you to

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respond to and understand images created by children. Booking essential. 7 July. Time: 9am–11:30am. Venue: Wendywood. Cost: R450. Contact: 076 078 2651 or lyzette. jarvey@gmail.com Low-carb cooking for moms Menu plans and ideas for families living the Banting way. 7 July. Time: 10am–12:30pm.

Venue: Bryanston. Cost: R500. Contact: headoffice@littlecooksclub.co.za Parenting 101 workshop Nikki Bush and Mark Khoury are discussing cyber safety and tech-savvy parenting to help you make sense of the digital world and your child. 16 July. Time: 6pm. Venue: Grayston Preparatory School, Sandton.

Cost: R250. Contact: 011 298 8500 or jhbchildwelfare.org.za

on stage and screen Classical lunch-hour concert A weekly showcase of string ensembles, opera divas and individual recitals by remarkable young or established musicians, who sing or play various musical instruments.

Time: 1pm every Friday. Venue: Auto and General Theatre on the Square, Nelson Mandela Square, off Rivonia Rd, Sandown. Cost: R40, includes coffee and biscuits. Contact: 011 883 8606 or theatreonthesquare.co.za Diluted People Ndumiso Lindi is back with his new show that offers an intimate look at his life story, infused with his infectious, feel-good sense of humour.

Only for 16 years and older. 25 July. Time: 8pm. Venue: The Lyric Theatre, Gold Reef City Casino, Northern Parkway, cnr Northern Park Way and Data Crescent, Ormonde. Cost: R165. Contact: 011 326 0021 or goldreefcity.co.za Solo evening with Joan Armatrading Known as a true craftsman, she is performing solo on stage, playing the guitar, piano and singing. 10 and 11 July. Time: 8pm. Venue: The Teatro at Montecasino, cnr Montecasino Boulevard and William Nicol Dr, Fourways. Cost: R450–R650. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or computicket.com

out and about Experience Chelsea 2015 Join Kirstenbosch SA Chelsea designer David Davidson for an informative morning on his experiences at the Chelsea Flower Show in London. 25 July. Time: 9:30am for 10am. Venue: Garden World, Beyers Naudé Dr, Muldersdrift. Cost: R80, includes refreshments, prize giveaways and entrance to the designer gardens. Contact: 011 957 2545 or gardenworld.co.za SABC Education African EduWeek A showcase of local and international exhibitors, free-to-attend education

Invest in your child What are you teaching your child about money? Discover the ABCs of childhood money fitness. 15 and 29 July. Time: 6:30pm–8:30pm. Venue: Hackle Brooke Conference Centre, Craighall Park. Cost: R550. Contact: 072 337 6058 or moneyfit.co.za

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seminars as well as over 70 technical workshops designed to enhance teacher training and development. 1 and 2 July.

Time: 9am–6pm Wednesday, 9am–5pm Thursday. Venue: Gallagher Convention Centre, 19 Richard Dr, Midrand. Cost: free.

For more info: educationweek.co.za

support groups Dyspraxia South Africa Support for parents and caregivers who have children and young adults dealing with dyspraxia.

Contact: info@dyspraxiasouthafrica.co.za or dyspraxiasouthafrica.co.za Mother’s group Explore the joys and challenges of motherhood and share ideas on how to implement techniques for aiding your child’s development of emotional intelligence. Space is limited to four participants. Time: 9:30am–11am every Wednesday and Saturday. Venue: Office Tower 202, Killarney Mall, Riviera Rd, Killarney. Cost: R200. Contact: 081 439 5247 or anna@movingminds.co.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops BabyGym A five-week course helps you stimulate your baby and ensure whole brain development. For babies 2 weeks– 1 year old. Starts 13 or 29 July. Time: 9:30am–10:45am. Venue: The Children’s Therapy Centre, Petervale. Cost: R790.

Contact: 083 303 1190 Eat right, now Learn how to enhance your baby’s growth and brain development, how to protect your baby by avoiding certain foods and additives, and find out about healthy substitutions, nutrientdense foods and more. Take a yoga mat. Booking essential. 10 July. Time: 10am–12:30pm. Venue: Bryanston. Cost: R600. Contact: headoffice@littlecooksclub. co.za or littlecooksclub.co.za

20 July–19 September – Start of Toptots term three

parenthood. Pre-registration required. Time: 10am–11:30am every Tuesday. Venue: The Fourways Marriage and Family Therapy Centre, 37 Penguin Dr, Fourways. Cost: R100 per week, includes tea and coffee. Contact: 072 690 3836 or kirstenmiller.net

how to help Glow Kids Glow Wheel Well is collecting money for reflective snap-on bracelets, and beanies and scarves with reflective trim, for children in underprivileged communities who walk to school. The hope is that the reflectors will help make them more visible in the dark. Contact: 072 385 7121 or peggie@wheelwell.co.za The Rare Bear Project Purchase a knitted bear to comfort children in hospitals who are suffering from rare disorders and help raise funds for the Rare Disease Society of South Africa (RDSSA). The bears are created by Kya Kids, a skills centre that upskills and uplifts women living in and around the Kya Sands area by teaching them to crochet the soft toys. Cost: R100. Contact: info@rarediseases. co.za or Facebook: Rare Diseases SA

playtime and story time Start of Toptots term three Share and be a part of your little one’s development while having fun with other moms. 20 July–19 September. For babies 3 months–4 years old. Time: varies. Venue: Bryanston/ Randburg branch. Cost: on request. Contact: 082 459 5860 or toptots.co.za

support groups Mom Squad Mothers of newborns and babies up to 18 months old can chat about the challenges and rewards of motherhood over a cup of tea. Run by the Trinity Methodist Church. Time: 9:15am–11am every Thursday. Cost: R10 per session towards refreshments. Contact: 082 334 4029 or vandermerwekj@gmail.com Postnatal depression support group A weekly support group for parents who are struggling with the transition to

The Rare Bear Project

Volunteering made easy with Better SA Offering a hop-on, hop-off bus service for people wishing to volunteer their time and make a significant impact on the lives of the less fortunate. Visit their website to find out more about the events being held and to book your spot on the bus. Buses depart from Illovo, Roodepoort, Broadacres and Midrand. 4, 11, 18 and 25 July. Suitable for adults and children 3 years and older. Time: 9am–11:30am. Cost: free. Contact: info@ bettersa.org or bettersa.org

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to joburg@childmag.co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971. Information must be received by 3 July for the August issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

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it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

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finishing touch

t

he email lands in my inbox, and a quick glance at the subject strikes fear into my heart. I see the words “Please make a…” and I can’t read further. To say I am creatively challenged is putting it mildly – I got a G for needlework in Std 7. So the call for me to make something for my child’s school rates up there on the “painometer” with a root canal or bikini wax. I’m not short on ideas – Pinterest has been a lifesaver in that department – but it’s just the execution that has me somewhat flummoxed. I don’t know how many times my husband, Craig, has found me in tears, with my fingers glued together and smears of paint on my cheek, staring at a dismal blob of papier-mâché lying forlornly on the floor. It’s so bad, when I announce that I am about to tackle a craft of some sort, Craig will suddenly discover several odd jobs, way on the other side of the house, that need to be done urgently.

I had to outsource the making of the Easter bonnet. After the fiasco of the fallen eggs of the previous year, there was no way that I could send Erin to school again in a straw hat adorned with three chocolate eggs stuck with Prestik to the brim.

And don’t even get me started on baking cakes – that’s a whole other world of pain.

I look in awe at the pics posted by crafty

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ANÉL LEWIS wants to run a mile every time she has to make something creative for her daughter, but she has come to appreciate the time they spend together on projects.

Erin, Anél and Conor

moms on Facebook of the things they have made – beanies in the shape of popular TV characters, beautiful fairy costumes, and cakes in the shape of boats and butterflies.

The last time I made cupcakes, I swear you could see the neon-pink icing from

space. And after the party, I found several discarded cupcakes in the pot plants outside, which is never a good sign.

Needless to say, I’ve never tackled an actual birthday cake. Unless the children are thinking of having a log party (I can

just about rustle up a loaf-sized yoghurt cake), homemade confectionery is just not an option.

But for children, the process is usually more important than a fancy outcome.

They don’t really mind that your Easter bonnet resembles something a hobbit would wear to a tea party. They just love being involved in the creation of something.

I’m seeing this with Erin, as we prepare for her first market day at school. She’s so excited about the paint and the stickers we will use for the items we are making together. And while she is learning valuable lessons about supply and demand and the value of money, I am learning the value of enjoying the creative process without worrying about the outcome.

We don’t have to make something that could win first prize in an art show, or get 1 000 likes on Facebook. It’s about spending time together doing something creative. But I’m not giving up on my premade cake mixes just yet.

Anél Lewis has joined a few crafters’ groups on Facebook for inspiration and has started collecting old magazines in case she needs to make a piňata for Erin’s next birthday party.

family marketplace

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PHOTOGRAPH: Susie Leblond Photography

art attack