Child magazine | JHB November 2013

J O B U R G ’ S

b e s t

gu i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

texting with

the times

cellphones in the classroom

sitting strong the science behind choosing the right desk for your child

toddlers &

teenagers 16 ways to build your child’s emotional intelligence

www.childmag.co.za

November 2013

free

plus

health

bring a basket pick your own summer fruit

what’s on in November education

entertainment

Years ago I worked in poorly resourced schools in Gauteng where it was commonplace to see chains and batons hanging where the headmaster’s jacket should have hung.

Hunter House P U B L I S H IN G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Cassandra Shaw • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • joburg@childmag.co.za

These schools were ruled with a rod of iron. Many schools today are finding it increasingly difficult to effectively discipline children and there is a renewed call for corporal punishment. Three independent studies have shown that the majority of parents interviewed were not opposed to smacking their children to correct “bad” behaviour.

With all the hostility that we deal with in South Africa every day, do we not owe it to our children to find other ways to grow good citizens? Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I wish I’d spent more time working out how to effectively guide my eldest to a calmer, more constructive place during her fiery toddler years.

Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za Mariette Barkhuizen • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za Alison Els • studio2@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Renee Bruning • renee@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: BROOKE FASANI

Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

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I think if you get it right with a toddler; if you model the correct behaviour and reward the positives, this will stand you in much better stead for the teenage years. Managing instant gratification is essential to guiding children from the tricky toddler stage into courageous and compassionate teenagers. It’s up to us as parents to provide the hands-on involvement that experts agree is key to raising children who understand they’re part of, and responsible for, the optimal functioning of their family, their classrooms and ultimately, their community.

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November 2013

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contents november 2013

upfront 3 a note from lisa 6 over to you readers respond 12 reader’s blog a mom shares her struggles since getting divorced 19 d ad’s blog all our children want, says Marc de Chazal, is for us to watch them do what they love

features

health

16 building emotional intelligence

9 smoke screen Lucille Kemp points

EQ may be more important than IQ to be successful in life, so we should encourage it more in our children, says Glynis Horning

20 learning spaces having a customised place to work and create is important for children. By Tamlyn Vincent

22 healthy tuck shops by turning the school eatery into a healthy haven, we’re ensuring that our children eat right during the day, says Susan Stos

24 two schools of thought Donna Cobban recently moved to New Zealand and tells us more about their educational system

26 there’s a rat in the kitchen Marina Zietsman examines the home hazards lurking in your fridge and cupboards

29 a valuable learning tool should cellphones be banned from classrooms, or could they be a helpful educational aid? Janine Dunlop investigates

32 parenting within bounds your teenagers will be grateful one day if you set limits and discipline them, advises Gary Koen

36 east coast tables we offer you a few recipes from the book East Coast Tables: The Inland Edition. By Erica Platter and Clinton Friedman

39 money savvy don’t only teach your child how to save money, teach them how to invest it too. By Tamlyn Vincent

out why smoking a hubbly bubbly is bad for your health

regulars 8 upfront with paul screaming and shouting are not conducive to communication, says Paul Kerton

10 pregnancy news – UIF and maternity rights Anél Lewis looks at how the UIF system can work best for pregnant women and new parents

13 best for baby – under the sun the sun is a lot harsher on the skin of babies and toddlers.

By Cassandra Shaw

14 dealing with difference Glynis Horning explains what Borderline Personality Disorder is and what signs to look out for

42 resource – grab your bucket! summer’s here, so head out to the farms and pick some fresh fruit.

Compiled by Simone Jeffery

46 a good read for the whole family 52 what’s on in november 70 finishing touch shopping with two toddlers is reserved for the brave, says Anél Lewis

classified ads 65 family marketplace 67 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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November 2013

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

Photo: Eugene Claase kidoagency.co.za

Photo: Eugene Claase kidoagency.co.za

shutterstock.com

Delfina de Faria

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November 2013

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letters

over to you

letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

help with ADHD

fussy eater

online response

I want to thank Lindsay Sommer for the honest letter entitled “a letter to an autistic grandson”, (October 2013). It made me smile and cry at the same time, and I cannot wait to show it to my dad who will be visiting soon. With three grandchildren, aged 10, seven and three, he loves visiting. And it is especially interesting to see my seven-year-old son imitate him. My son has ADHD and is also on the autism spectrum. It would be really helpful if you could assist with some information on schools that support learners who interact differently, or give information on support groups and social groups for parents and our little angels. And to add to the letter, yes, there would be no choice!

Zaheera Childmag says For information and contact details, visit childmag.co.za and search under “resource – dealing with difference”. The contact details for ADHASA (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Support Group of Southern Africa) is also listed. They’re a great source to steer you in the right direction regarding support groups.

I have a very fussy grandson, aged four, who just does not have an appetite. From the day he was born, he didn’t want to eat. He just wanted his bottle and a bit of baby food. This has not changed for the last four years.

He will eat a small bowl of cereal in the mornings and then he is off to school. At 12:30pm I collect him and his little sister, aged two. Even then all he wants is his bottle, whereas my granddaughter will eat anything that is placed in front of her. He will eat a bowl of pasta for lunch and some pieces of chocolate (only one kind is permitted). Every once in a while he’ll eat some bacon, but even these must not be burnt or “funny looking”.

Can someone please give us advice? We are all at wits’ end.

Peter Hart

to the article “get the balance right” A very important question that needs to be added is: “At what age can a child start focusing on a sport?” I am a sports director and head of PE at a primary school, teaching children aged four to 12 years old, and ask myself this question all the time. Tim Noakes reckons children should rather take part in “play” as opposed to a specific sport until the end of their primary school years, but I don’t quite agree with this as I think children could start focusing on a specific discipline from about age seven or eight, before they learn incorrect technique.

That said, we currently have an issue with some parents demanding I run my soccer clinic for the three to four year olds throughout the year. My problem is that children are not taking part in any imaginative play, especially when a ball is involved. All they can and want to do is kick the ball. While kicking is a very important part of development, they should also be encouraged to play in other ways with a ball, like throwing or passing it.

Children should be encouraged to play around the house and in the garden. Using one’s imagination and being creative is a huge part of growing up, and doing the same sport three to four times a week at a young age could have limiting effects on this. Obviously the more “gifted” sportsmen out there will benefit from private lessons from a young age, but as the article states, perhaps one out of a million is “truly gifted”.

Parents should be more realistic.

Stoffies

one for the girls Earlier this year I had the opportunity to accompany my seven-year-old daughter to the father-daughter barn dance at her school, filling in for my husband who was away on business. I was surprised that I was the only mom in attendance. I am sure that there were other children who wouldn’t have been able to bring a dad to the event. While it is good to have events for specific parents to share with their children, this should never stop your child from attending a school function. My daughter and I had fantastic fun and I had the chance to teach her a valuable life lesson: never let your gender stop you from doing something you want to do.

Sarah Jane Henshall

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Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your

November 2013

keep the faith In response to the letter from a mom struggling to find a school for her Down’s syndrome child (October 2013); as a teacher I say “don’t give up”. I had a Down’s syndrome boy in my class once. He changed our lives and we learnt about unconditional love and acceptance from him. We also learnt not to take ourselves so seriously. I loved him so much and so did the other children. There are schools out there that would be happy to educate your son and they would be truly blessed if they allowed him to come to their school. Don’t give up, mom.

Susan Durandt

toxic shock syndrome Parents should be informed of the dangers of disposable nappies and toxic shock syndrome that these can cause.

My baby was treated with a severe rash, and only then did I find out the cause – disposable nappies. I have found an alternative product, which really works.

Alista

subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions. To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

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upfront with paul

stop shouting You don’t have to shout to be heard.

PAUL KERTON explains why.

PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

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went to pick up a soft-spoken writer friend last night – a single mom with three children. When I walked through her front door it was like somebody had maxed the volume on the entire house.

The children were at all points – north, south, east and west, upstairs and downstairs, and EVERYBODY, including the mother, was shouting and screaming at each other. Not out of anger or rage, or an attempt to chide or discipline. This was how – as a family – they communicated on a daily basis.

Nobody moved from where they were, or left what they were doing, to get faceto-face with the person they wanted to talk to, or even showed themselves at the door to their room to make it easier. All three children expected the mother to run to them. “Mom, where’s my green top?”, “Mom, come and check this drawing”, “Mom, the remote’s not working”. Then the children were shouting at each other from

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November 2013

one room to another. “Jess, what did you do with my beanie?”

Mom was screaming too. “Have you done your homework?” to some child; I don’t know which one. “You’d better take a shower tonight and wash your hair.” I hadn’t heard this much shouting since the Springboks won the World Cup at Ellis Park.

“Is it always like this?” I asked innocently.

“What?”

What? The house is a zoo. There’s one adult and three children over the age of nine literally screaming at each other every 10 seconds. The boy is watching television with the volume up, barking orders. It was like a mental hospital except nobody was sedated.

In my book, a loud parent means louder children. A loud teacher means a louder class. Once you are over the initial shock to get attention, shouting loses any impact and has no lasting effect. It jars and jangles the brain and raises your stress levels.

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

“What I meant,” I continued, “is do you always communicate through screaming at each other?”

Sadly, the answer was yes. Already the teachers had been complaining about her daughter Ellie’s shouting in class. Luckily she was a good enough friend for me to say, “Are you insane? The shouting is out of control and you’ve got to sort it out.”

And, over a glass of crisp Sauvignon Blanc we did. Problem was, they’d been screaming at each other for so long they didn’t know they were doing it. I suggested she get everyone around a table and talk

quietly about how the screaming was off the chart. First step: find the person you want to talk to and talk to them in a polite, controlled way. Second step: if it isn’t really important or entertaining, don’t talk. “Mom, help! I’ve broken my leg!” Then it’s okay to shout. “Mom it’s raining.” Who cares? She’s just got drenched bringing the toys in from the garden. And cut the laziness: “Mom, how do you spell ‘book’?” Learn to spell “dictionary” – and find out. Best advice though is, if someone shouts at you, ignore them until they show some respect.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

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health

smoke screen You may know it as a hookah, hubbly bubbly, water pipe, narghile, shisha or goza, but LUCILLE KEMP points out that you only really need to know that it is dangerous to your health.

ILLUSTRATIONS: shutterstock.com

false perceptions It has been trendy for some time to smoke a hookah pipe. It’s a social activity, it smells pleasant and the sweet flavour makes inhaling the smoke, without coughing, easier. The experience is made all the more attractive as it is perceived as somehow “better” than cigarette smoking. The bottom line, according to Cansa’s head of health Prof Michael C Herbst, is “hookah and cigarette smoke both contain nicotine, tar, carbon monoxide, arsenic and lead.”

Dr Richard van Zyl-Smit, head of the Lung Clinical Research Unit at UCT, says, “A single puff of a hookah probably has less toxins in it than a single puff of a cigarette but, when smoking a hookah, you inhale on average 100 times more smoke than you would when smoking a cigarette.

Herbst says, “The smoke produced in a typical hookah smoking session can contain about 36 times more tar and about eight times more carbon monoxide, than the smoke from a single cigarette.”

As people don’t smoke hookah pipes all day, every day, it is difficult to compare it

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with cigarettes, but inhaling any amount of a carcinogen should be avoided at all costs and when smoking a hookah pipe you are doing just that. Add to this the charcoal that is used to “burn the tobacco” and even more toxins and gases are inhaled.

“The flavouring makes the tobacco more palatable not less toxic,” says Van ZylSmit. Herbst adds, “The fact that the smoke passes through water doesn’t mean that hookah smoke is “cleaner” and it is just as addictive as cigarettes, with hookah smokers showing signs of addiction.”

health risks Van Zyl-Smit points out that as hookah pipes burn tobacco, the effects are very similar to that of cigarettes. Typically the most vulnerable to the effects of the smoke are children and pregnant women, and studies have shown an increased risk of lung cancer, and respiratory, periodontal and cardiovascular disease, as well as middle ear infections. The lead in smoke can also make children hyperactive, irritable and cause brain damage. The smoke can cause

reduced growth in unborn babies, and increase the risk of miscarriage, stillbirth and sudden infant death syndrome as well. Also, the communal nature of sharing a hookah pipe means you can get germs from others, such as the bacteria that cause TB or the virus that causes herpes.

far-reaching effects A hookah smoking session produces a great deal of smoke and often takes place in a public setting, sometimes even in restaurants, greatly affecting those around you. Herbst says the health risks presented by tobacco products apply not only to second-hand smoke, but also to the lesser known third-hand smoke, which is defined by Herbst as, “The gases and small particles in smoke that are deposited on every surface the smoker comes in contact with, which remains for very long periods of time; from the smoker’s hair and clothing to the environment the hookah was smoked in.” Young children may be affected when they crawl on contaminated surfaces and ingest toxins from hand to mouth.

smoking vs hubbly bubbly One typical cigarette session • 5–7 minutes • 8–12 puffs • 40–75ml of smoke per puff

One typical hubbly bubbly session • 20–80 minutes • 20–200 puffs • 0,15–1 litre of smoke per puff (equivalent to inhaling the smoke of 100 or more cigarettes) Information courtesy of Cansa

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pregnancy news

UIF and maternity rights Although you want to spend as much time as you can with your newborn, before going back to work,

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make sure you’re prepared for any possible loss of income while you’re on leave, says ANÉL LEWIS.

here’s so much to think about when you’re pregnant, and top of the list, if you are working, is how much maternity leave you can take and whether you will get paid for the time that you’re at home with your baby.

your rights The Constitution, the Employment Equity Act and the Labour Relations Act stipulate that no person may be discriminated against or dismissed because of pregnancy.

According to the Basic Conditions of Employment Act (BCEA), pregnant workers are entitled to at least four months consecutive maternity leave. Your partner is entitled to only three days paid family leave, says Ivan Israelstam of Labour Law Management Consulting in Joburg. You can choose to go on maternity leave a month before your due date, or earlier if there are health concerns, but you can only return to work after six weeks of giving birth. This also applies to a stillbirth. Women who have adopted a baby may only apply for three days’ paid family responsibility leave.

money Ivan says you are not automatically entitled to your full salary while you are on maternity leave. It is up to your company to decide on your salary package during this time, and this may depend on the number of years you have worked.

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claiming your benefits If you are receiving less than your full salary, or none at all, and your employer has contributed to the Unemployment Insurance Fund (UIF) on your behalf, you may claim benefits. You can also claim if you resign during your maternity leave. Members of close corporations or proprietary limited companies may also claim, but as a sole proprietor you may not. You may also claim UIF if you are adopting a baby under the age of two. Submit your UIF claim as soon as you start your maternity leave or within six months of the birth of your child. According to the Department of Labour, the amount paid is subject to the number of credit days you have accumulated, with the maximum being 121 days or 17 weeks. You get 60 credits for each year worked and you can expect to earn between 38–58% of your salary. The credits are calculated from the last four years of your employment record.

If you should miscarry in the third trimester or have a stillbirth, you can still claim UIF, but you will only get paid for a maximum of six weeks. You may claim more than once for maternity benefits within a four-year period.

what to do when You can download the application forms from the Department of Labour’s website (labour.gov.za) or from the

website of an agency specialising in maternity UIF claims.

Your employer will forward a declaration of employment, a U-19, to the labour centre and you will need to submit your completed forms, copy of your ID and a medical certificate confirming the pregnancy. But note that you can only do this when you start your maternity leave. If you do decide to claim from the labour centre, make sure you have all the supporting documents and forms ready to avoid further time-consuming visits. You may also send someone to hand in the forms for you. Once the application is approved, the non-taxable benefits will be paid into your bank account. This usually takes about five weeks so make sure you are prepared financially for any shortfall in income.

a helping hand As queues at the labour centre can be long and daunting, many women prefer to leave the legwork to an agency with expertise in UIF claims. Helene Vermaak, of a Cape Town-based agency, says mothers want the help of a company that can get the claim submitted quickly and with minimal fuss. These agencies usually charge a once-off fee of between R400 and R700 depending on the services you require. Use a reputable agency that will only submit forms that are correct. The company should also keep you updated and help with any problems that may arise.

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reader’s blog

being classified One of our readers tells of her first experiences as a single mother.

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’m a “single mother”. It’s not the word “single”, nor the word “mother” that bothers me. It’s the combination of the two words. I’ve become a “single mother” because I divorced my husband.

But I’m bothered that it classifies me as a “single mother”. Don’t get me wrong, I respect and admire single mothers.

Motherhood is hard enough as it is, and compounded with having to do the hard work by yourself, it’s mind-blowing. But I’ve chosen to do it on my own.

I keep asking myself why I am so bothered by this title. Is it because my parents will be celebrating 45 years of blissful union this month? Or because of my Catholic upbringing, where divorce is considered a swear word, or so my Granny lead me to believe. Or is it the fact that my two children and I are now a

The only word that can define my marriage was anger – lots of it. I married a man with a very volatile and explosive temper. We spent five years in a home, whose walls heard the most despicable words, said in a tone that pierced your heart from the inside out. And after seeing the effect of this anger on my children, I left the home that I put so much love and affection into. And it’s my choice.

My parents would argue that it’s not my choice, but rather the consequence of the anger, but it’s the result of a choice I made many years ago to have children and marry a man with a temper.

Now, I’m not blaming myself for my marriage or my divorce. I’m just saying that it’s my fault. I should have known better. It is a bit of an oxymoron, but it is what it is. I’m also not regretting

disappointment on my shoulders. When it’s parent’s evening at school and my ex-husband can’t stand the sight of me, so he sits as far away as possible, it makes me feel embarrassed and pity for my children. What if they could see us – the two most important people in their little lives, and we can’t even sit alongside each other in the little chairs that their little bums sit on each and every day. How would that make them feel? It’s that emotion that makes me realise that I am a “single mother”.

That my children will forever know that Mommy and Daddy are not two halves of a whole, but rather two separate wholes.

So, I deal with my disappointment and I carry on. But it’s frustrating being a “single mother”. Try booking a hotel online. The hotel systems do not recognise

statistic? Or that I’ve failed at something big in our lives?

anything. How can I regret my children?

But somehow, I do feel the weight of

one adult and two children. So, I do my research online and book via the phone.

November 2013

It seems that I am regarded as a “single supplement” with two children…

It’s been a tough few years so I want to take my children to Disneyland next year, “the happiest place on earth”. But it means that I must travel great distances with two preschoolers, on my own. Can it be done?

I’m not sure yet, as I’m still getting used to bath time, grocery shopping and getting them ready for school on my own. So I wonder if Disneyland is just a dream for now, until I am comfortable with being a “single mother”.

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

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best for baby

under the sun PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Ensure the safety of your baby and toddler’s skin this summer.

By CASSANDRA SHAW

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t’s time to unpack your bathing suit, sandals and hats.

The hot summer months are finally here, and although you’ve been looking forward to spending them outside with your new young family, there are some important skin safety facts to consider before heading out the door.

a thin skin We all know that the sun can have damaging effects on our skin, but for babies and toddlers the sun can be quite dangerous. Baby skin is different to older children and

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adult skin and is extremely sensitive to the sun. “It has not yet acclimatised to UV rays, and the outermost layer of their skin is thinner and more delicate. The pigment cells that naturally protect from UV rays are also still immature and not fully functional,” says Dr Imraan Jhetam, a dermatologist based in Durban.

If a baby is exposed to the sun without proper sun protection, damages that happen early on in life can cause serious effects later on. Dr Dagmar Whitaker, a Cape Town dermatologist, says that a baby’s immune system is “not fully developed and when our skin is growing, the cells are particularly vulnerable to DNA damage.” She goes on to say that “When the genetic information (DNA) gets damaged [from sunburn], it changes a normal cell into a cancer cell which remains in your skin forever – although the cancer as such only develops later; 80% of all your UV damage occurs in the first 20 years of your life.”

combating the sun Babies younger than six months old should not use sunscreen. Instead, they should be kept out of the sun or be in the shade as much as possible, in addition to wearing long sleeves, pants and a wide-brimmed hat, says Durban based dermatologist Dr Ishaan Ramkisson. Also, make sure that they don’t overheat and that they drink plenty of fluids, he adds.

For babies and toddlers, apply and reapply sunscreen to exposed areas of the skin, not already covered by protective clothing, every two to three hours or when they come out of the water.

Sensitive areas like ears, the neck and cheeks should be covered by a broad-spectrum UVA and UVB protective sunscreen of at least SPF 30, and other areas should be covered with an SPF of at least 15 to 30, says Ramkisson.

It’s best if babies use a product that is free of hypoallergenics, fragrances and added chemicals found in adult sunscreens, such as para-aminobenzoic and retinyl palmitate, and benzephenones like dioxybenzone, oxybenzone or sulisobenzone. Find products that include ingredients like zinc oxide and titanium dioxide or special sunscreens made for infants and toddlers as they may be less irritating to their skin and may offer more protection.

sun safety tips • Try to stay out of the sun between 10am–4pm.

• Dress your child in SPF-rated clothing and use protective sunglasses.

• Wet or stretched clothing can decrease your child’s protection against the sun.

• Use an age-appropriate sunscreen and coat skin generously.

• Do not use expired sunscreens – they may deteriorate and become harmful to the skin.

• When walking or driving use a window mesh, or a cover for your pram.

when to have your moles looked at • I f you have moles that change shape, colour and size; moles that itch, bleed, cause any kind of sensation or develop a white halo around them • If your family has a strong history of melanoma • If it has been a year since your last checkup with a dermatologist

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dealing with difference

moody or heading for BPD? Moodiness and risky behaviour can be normal in adolescence, but they may signal the start of Borderline Personality Disorder. By Glynis Horning

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ade* was a charming but temperamental toddler, given to tantrums. By primary school her long-suffering, single mom Shirley* was being called in about outbursts in class, bullying and, on one occasion, a lunch box flung at another child’s head. But it was in high school that Shirley grew seriously worried. “Jade had seemed to quieten down, but I discovered her in the shower one day cutting her thighs. Scars showed she’d been doing it for some time. We cried together, but she kept pushing me away.” With therapy Jade was encouraged to use ice-cubes instead of a knife and to channel her emotions into dance classes, but by 16 she was sneaking out to local Durban clubs, drinking and taking drugs.

“Each time I confronted her she would be furious, then contrite and clingy, then she’d do it again! It was tearing me apart.” When Shirley announced that she was sending Jade to boarding school to help her pass matric, the 17-year-old locked herself in her room and took an overdose.

It was a psychologist treating her in hospital who gave Jade’s problem a name: she had traits of emergent Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This is a serious mental illness characterised by unstable moods, behaviour and relationships.

Many professionals are unwilling to diagnose it in young people, as technically their personality and brain are still developing until age 25. “In a percentage of adolescents strong personality traits of borderline are evident, but it’s important to view them as traits versus a set diagnosis, which has serious consequences for a growing individual,” says Janine Tommy, a Cape Town clinical psychologist. However, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders used by mental health professionals now makes provision for BPD to be diagnosed before 18.

who is it affecting?

It’s been estimated to affect around 3–14% of teenagers. “Adolescent behaviour is generally characterised by a higher degree of impulsivity,” says Joburg clinical psychologist Liane Lurie. “The adolescent brain doesn’t connect actions with consequences in the same way as an adult. Adolescence is generally characterised by difficulties in regulating emotions or overly amplified emotional displays.”

BPD tendencies affect boys as well as girls, she says, “though statistics on females may be more readily available as females tend to seek help or display emotional distress more readily than males.” The tendencies often occur alongside other conditions such as depression, anti-social personality disorders, anxiety disorders, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, eating disorders and substance abuse. (A major study by the US National Institute of Mental Health suggested that 85% of people diagnosed with BPD also meet the criteria for another mental illness.)

self-harming behaviour. “A combination of therapy and medication go a long way in creating a new sense of stability,” says Lurie.

Shirley attributes Jade’s progress to a combination of DBT, a course of antidepressants, and ongoing supplementation with omega-3 fatty acids (which some studies suggest may help reduce signs of depression and aggression). Now 22, she is studying towards a Masters degree in fine arts. “She still has her moments, but she can control them now, and she really wants to. I feel I’ve got my daughter back again.” * Names have been changed

signs that your child may have BPD • • • • • •

Difficulty regulating emotions and thoughts Intense mood swings lasting from hours to several days Inappropriate, extreme anger Extreme reactions of panic and rage to abandonment, real or perceived Intense, stormy relationships swinging between love (often idealised) and anger Impulsive, reckless, dangerous behaviour such as substance abuse, unsafe sex, reckless driving, binge eating and spending sprees • Abrupt changes in feelings, ideas, opinions, values, plans or future goals • Chronic feelings of emptiness • Feelings of being cut off from others and from reality • Self-harming, including cutting, burning, branding, picking or pulling skin and hair, excessive tattooing and body piercing, and self-starving • Recurring suicidal thoughts or attempts.

Having five or more of these symptoms for at least a year may indicate BPD, but if you notice even a couple, get help. Contact your doctor or (the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) 0800 567 567 or sms 31393.

causes

treating BPD BPD was once believed to be a lifelong problem, but it’s now estimated that with good treatment, around two-thirds of teenagers and a third of adults will no longer meet the criteria for BPD after about two years (though they may still have a raised suicide risk). “Treatment can raise an individual’s awareness around dysfunctional patterns of interaction and teach them how to shift their energies in more constructive directions,” says Lurie. Without treatment they have continued difficulties and an increased sense of despair and hopelessness.

Today the focus is on cognitive behavioural therapy to change core beliefs and behaviours, or dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), which helps borderlines test their concept of reality, be more “mindfully aware”, and have better control of their emotions and behaviour. Medication may be prescribed to control instability, impulsivity and

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what you can do • • • • • • • • • •

ive your teenager emotional support, understanding, patience and encouragement.

G Don’t try to control all their problem behaviours; work on an aspect or two.

Praise any progress and good behaviour (borderlines crave attention).

Use DBT with the whole family to create a therapeutic home (“Did X truly intend to hurt you, or was it an accident?”, for example).

Curb risk-taking by limiting or openly tracking teenager’s cellphone use, pocket money and free time, and explain calmly that it’s because you love them.

Keep regular meal and sleep times, and encourage exercise to reduce stress.

If they threaten or attempt suicide, get help immediately.

Don’t neglect yourself, your partner and other children.

Keep communicating with your partner and other caregivers to prevent being manipulated.

Don’t lose hope – treatment works, and your child will appreciate your efforts one day.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

The causes of BPD are still unclear, but recent research supports the idea of a biological basis in some cases – brain scans of borderlines have shown less activity in regions that help control emotions and aggressive impulses, and that deal with cooperation and trust.

Genetic factors, environmental factors and cultural ones are also likely to be involved, with a higher incidence of BPD reported in victims of violence and abuse. “Exposure to trauma at an early age while the brain and its emotional centres of regulation are still developing place an individual at risk,” says Lurie. “A compounding factor may be the amount of or lack of help or intervention a child receives after the event. Caregiver indifference and lack of soothing often lead to increased emotional trauma.”

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15

parenting

building emotional intelligence EQ may be more important than IQ for success in life, but are we doing enough to encourage it in both our sons and daughters? By GLYNIS HORNING

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be taught to make responsible choices for how they will stand up for themselves and their values and opinions in life – this is healthy assertiveness.” But, there’s much parents can do to help sons and daughters develop EQ.

Encourage children to speak about their emotions, Steyn says: “You look upset, would you like to talk about it?” Reassure teens that it’s okay to feel awkward and anxious, and encourage discussions about relationships with their teachers, friends or “flames”.

Be attentive – respond quickly and consistently to your child’s emotional needs from the start so they develop a sense of security and self-esteem. This is the foundation of EQ, says Kidd. “Just don’t confuse responding with pandering.”

Try side-by-side communication instead of face-toface – chat while doing something with them, such as driving or working on a project; teenage boys, especially, will often open up more this way.

Accept their emotions and teach them to name them. Ask how they’re feeling, suggests Steyn. For example, “I see you frowning and hiding your face from me – are you feeling angry because you can’t get what you want right now?”

Use life moments, books, movies, even commercials to help children recognise the cues to what others may be feeling: “How would you feel if that was you?” Empathy is critical for building enduring relationships, says Kidd.

Children who have a higher EQ are more likely to be cooperative, sociable and optimistic.

If they act aggressively, look behind the anger for anxiety, hurt or sadness: “You seem upset, are you feeling scared, hurt or sad?” But still explain the negative consequences of their actions, Kidd says.

Name your own emotions and model how to deal with them: “I’m feeling angry, so I’m going to count to 10, take a bath or go for a walk until I feel calm, then we’ll talk about it.” There should be no screaming and shouting in front of children, says Steyn, “but let them see healthy disagreement and resolution later.”

Constantly tell sons as well as daughters that you love them, and hug them, and encourage Dad to do this too. It won’t spoil them or make boys “sissies”; it will make them more secure and confident. “Unconditional love and affection is vital so the child feels worthy and accepted for who they are, and not just when they do something amazing,” says Steyn. “It leads to feeling ‘good enough’ and worthy of love.”

Teach other ways to express anger from when children are very young, says Steyn: “I don’t hear you when you shout, hit or throw things. If you have a problem or want something, you need to tell me another way. How would it be if you did X?” Help children be aware of when they are stressed, and what causes it, says children’s life coach Julie Keating of Magic Blox in Joburg: “I see you’re biting your nails, or your fists are clenched. Is changing school or our family getting a new baby making you tense?”

Listen well – don’t interrupt or jump in with solutions unless they ask, she says. It can undermine their confidence in being able to find these for themselves.

Often children just need to feel heard, and talking about a problem dissipates it or delivers answers. magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

k

nowing how to get on with others and move smoothly through social situations is an invaluable life skill, and the key is emotional intelligence – the ability to understand our feelings and those of others, and deal with them.

“Children who have a higher EQ (emotional intelligence quotient) are more likely to be cooperative, sociable and optimistic,” says Avril Kidd, Durban EQ practitioner and representative of the Six Seconds EQ network in South Africa. They tend to be less impulsive and better behaved, and to have more friends and do better academically, helping them to grow into rounded, happy and successful adults.

It’s still unclear what role DNA and genes play in EQ, and while there has been considerable research suggesting that girls are more emotionally intelligent than boys, this may stem less from inherited gender differences than from us raising them, however subconsciously, with different social expectations. “EQ is not just a trait you are born with or determined by your genes, but is very much also determined by interaction with other beings and the environment,” says Joburg-based psychologist Karin Steyn.

Studies have shown that among other things, mothers use a greater range of emotions when playing with daughters and discuss emotions with them more, while boys are raised to repress their emotions, but this is changing: “I know many parents today are trying to avoid this sort of thing,” says Steyn. The danger with repressed emotions, she says, is that they can fester, causing anxiety, depression and aggression, and eventually erupt when triggered by disproportionately minor events.

In his bestseller Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood (Owl Books), Dr William Pollack writes that boys were given an “emotional funnel” to express all their emotions – anxiety, fear, sadness and frustration were transformed into one emotion, anger. “Both boys and girls need to be taught to acknowledge their feelings and give appropriate expression to them,” says Steyn. “They should

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parenting

Acknowledge their perspective and give empathy, even if you don’t agree: “I know it’s hard to stop playing, but it’s time for dinner.”

Feeling understood helps children control negative emotions, says Steyn.

Give them ways to cope: “Come, let’s tell X how you feel about what he did”; “How about kicking a ball or going for a run so you feel better?”

Teach them soothing catch-phrases: “It was an accident”, “Everyone makes mistakes”, and positive self-talk: “I can do this” or “I tried my best”.

Teach them how to problem-solve: “You’re fedup with X because she won’t give you a turn, what could you say to her?” Teach them to use “I” messages: “I feel X when you do Y”, and to compromise: “What can we do so we’re both happy? Share?

Take turns?”

Notice when they show kindness: “I love how gentle you are with the new baby”. Any behaviour rewarded with your time and attention will continue, says Steyn.

Above all, model kindness and empathy – let them see you identify with the plights and feelings of others, especially during the season of giving. Whether you’re helping in a soup kitchen or donating toys for orphans, involve your children too.

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EQ vs IQ

mothers’ views on gender and EQ

American psychologist and EQ research pioneer Daniel Goleman estimates that IQ contributes only about 20% to the factors that determine how successful you will be in life, and the other 80% is made up of other forces. EQ is important in how you: • are able to motivate yourself • persevere, especially with challenges • delay the need for immediate gratification and have good impulse control • regulate your moods and control your ability to think in spite of stress • have empathy for others • manage your relationships • maintain hopefulness.

It seems that it’s the balance between IQ and EQ that determines success. “Even someone with a very high IQ may achieve nothing without the ability to believe in themselves and create their own opportunities or sell themselves to others,” says Steyn. “IQ without EQ means nothing.”

A study in the Harvard Business Review found that leaders with more warmth outstripped peers who might have been better qualified. “People with warmth tend to manage their relationships better, are more able to be people that others would want to follow, and inspire others,” she says. “You can help children lead happy, successful and fulfilled lives,” concludes Keating.

• K aren Monk Klijnstra, Durban fashion designer and mother of Anouk (10), Maia (8), Lola (6) and Rudi (4): “Each of my children has a very different temperament, but I think my girls were more inherently empathetic at Rudi’s age.

He’s very affectionate, but the girls tease that it’s more cupboard love – when he wants a treat in the cupboard!”

• Sharlene Khan, is a biological scientist turned Durban stay-at-home mom to her son Amaan Azgar (30 months) and her daughter Azhara Laila (15 months): “It’s shocking to me how different they are already. My son’s a little fighter – if he wants something his sister has, he’ll simply grab it, and pull her hair if she resists, or try to smack her. She’s emotional and cries, but plans her revenge when he’s distracted, and takes the toy back with the cutest, most devious smile.”

• Ridza Beattie, runs Rondebosch Moms and Tots and is the mother of Saskia (10), Kayla (9), Meera (7) and Joshua (6): “I think my children’s EQs are more linked to birth order and personalities than to gender. I’ve raised them all to be loving, empathetic and strong, irrespective of gender or anything else, and they are.”

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dad’s blog

love to watch them play No matter how old they are, children love it when their parents show happiness and pride while

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watching them in action. MARC DE CHAZAL explains.

hildren instinctively want their parents to watch them doing stuff. Just before they joyfully jump into the pool and create a mini tsunami, spilling water all over the place, they’ll shout for you to stop whatever it is you’re doing and watch them perform their rendition of the human cannonball.

“Daddy! Daddy! Look at me!”

Jump. Splash. They’ll run into the lounge while you’re engrossed in a book or a game on the telly and shove their latest drawing under your nose. They’ll parade around in a crazy outfit they’ve put together, including a pair of Mom’s impossible-to-walk-in high heels, but you must, must, must watch the spectacle. They want you to take notice. But not just take notice; what they really want more than anything in the whole world is for you to let them know that you love watching them do whatever it is they’re doing.

This is what Rachel Macy Stafford claims in her article “Six Words You Should Say Today”. Stafford explains how she realised that her children want more than anything for her to simply love to watch them play, not to come first in a sports event or be the greatest little musician on the planet. “I quickly realised how important it was to express that heart-palpitating kind of love that comes solely from observing someone you adore in action,” writes Stafford.

As I read the article, I thought back to when my daughter was two bricks and a ticky high, and I can vividly recall her wanting me to watch her in action. I don’t remember, however, actually telling her that I loved to watch her play, even if I did. I still enjoy watching her do what she loves, like horse riding. If Stafford is right, my daughter will appreciate hearing me say I love to watch her ride, even at 18.

PHOTOGRAPH: CLM PHOTOGRAPHY

You must, must, must watch the spectacle.

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Read more of Marc’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za/dad-blog

November 2013

19

your child’s life

learning spaces Growing minds and bodies mean that our children’s needs for desks and learning space change as they get older. By TAMLYN VINCENT

w

hen it comes to “colouring” time, my son plants himself on the bedroom floor with books, crayons, stickers, the odd pine cone and glue, spread outwards. But I was taken by surprise when I saw his friend’s very neat little table, with a stack of drawings on one side and a tub of crayons on the other.

Everyone learns differently, and because of this everyone needs their own space in which to learn. While this space may be part of a communal area, or in a child’s bedroom, having an individualised space is important. “Every child is different and is stimulated in a different way,” agrees Andrea Kellerman, a Durban-based educational psychologist and Neurofeedback practitioner. She points out that some children need a cosy, comfortable place in which to learn. Others may not like lots of bright colours, as this may be overstimulating. Dr Joanne Hardman, an educational psychologist at UCT, adds that from about two to seven years old, children only really focus on one idea at a time. The presence of other children, or a disorderly space, can be overwhelming. “Having their own individual space makes learning more possible,” says Hardman. And if the space appeals to the child, he will feel good, which will translate into a positive learning experience.

Children also need to know that they can go to this space, says Kellerman. This may be so that they can finish their homework without distractions, or perhaps this is where they feel comfortable. A table in a communal part of the house can work for a young or only child, who feels more comfortable sitting near his parents. As Hardman says, “A four year old wants you to watch him achieve his goals.” But this may change as children get older or if there are several children in the family, says Kellerman. For these children, a more individual space may work better, where there are less distractions. Children take in about 40–50% of what they hear and read, says Kellerman. Distractions and interruptions means they will take in less. But Hardman says “learning – true cognitive change – cannot happen in isolation”.

So even teenagers need to learn through discussion, with peers or a knowledgeable adult.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

room to think

growing needs Finding the right table, and placing it where children will learn best, allows them to get into the right headspace. But choosing a desk also means thinking about physical development.

Joburg physiotherapist Nicole Hilburn says “A desk, which encourages a poor position can result in postural problems leading to back pain, headaches and muscle strain”. An uncomfortable desk also means children may avoid sitting in it. Hilburn adds that young children may sit poorly because of low muscle tone or weak muscles.

Desks that don’t fit the child are more likely to cause postural problems in older children and teenagers. Danielle Grobicki, an orthopaedic physiotherapist in Joburg, says that this can cause tension-type headaches, lower back pain and weakened postural muscles. Repetitive strain injuries from using a mouse for extended periods of time, can also become a problem, as can postural scoliosis, a reversible curvature of the spine caused by incorrect sitting postures. Grobicki says this discomfort means that teenagers can’t concentrate for long.

every child is different As children grow, they need a desk and a learning space that grows with them. “There is no such thing as a standard size. Every child grows at a different rate, so it is vital that a desk be chosen with the child present,” says Grobicki. Changing needs may also impact on the learning space. Younger children need more room for art supplies, while increased homework for older children requires more bookshelf or drawer space. Those who prefer bright colours may want posters, or those who need visual reminders may need a pinboard.

A desk, which encourages a poor position can result in postural problems leading to back pain, headaches and muscle strain.

Computers, tablets and phones are also becoming more integrated into the sphere of learning. With technology on hand, children can access the internet as they learn. While this is a useful tool, it can be distracting. Kellerman advises some parental guidance or limiting the time for which they are allowed online, as well as the amount of time they watch TV. If children do need to do research for homework, Kellerman suggests that parents monitor what their children are reading. If children have their own computer on their desk, ensure that there is still space for other work, and that the computer is not the focal point.

As our children change, so too will their needs for a desk and their own learning space. With my son starting “big school” next year, he’ll probably have to relocate from the bedroom floor to a table in the dining room. Hopefully I can also fit in several baskets and a bookshelf to accommodate for the inevitable spread.

tips for choosing the right desk toddlers and preschoolers Young children would mainly use a table for mealtimes and play, so they don’t need anything elaborate, says Hilburn. A small table and chairs in a corner of the communal space should work. Keep necessary supplies in a basket or caddy for ease of access and tidiness. prep schoolers As children get more homework, they’ll be spending more time at a desk. At this stage, the height of the desk and chair become important, advises Hilburn.

Children need to be able to sit comfortably, with knees at a 90 degree angle, feet flat on the floor and elbows resting on the table. Look for a sturdy desk that encourages this position. Make sure there is enough room for books and stationery, either in desk draws or nearby, to avoid clutter. “An adjustable desk is handy as children grow taller,” says Hilburn. teenagers Teenagers will be spending plenty of time at their desks. They also need to be able to sit in the correct posture, and if they are very short, Grobicki suggests using a foot stool. Look for a supportive chair and ensure the desk isn’t too low, to prevent slouching. A novel idea is alternating the chair with a Pilates ball to encourage the correct posture, says Grobicki. If your teenager uses a computer, he should be eye level with the top of the screen. You can use a laptop raise, or even a telephone book, to lift up the screen. The desk should also be able to fit in books, stationery and a computer, without causing clutter.

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November 2013

21

i

t’s Monday morning. You cobble together some kind of lunch for your children, hoping it’s enough to sustain them for the day. But what if the tuck shop were a healthy viability?

a healthy break

healthy

tuck shops A child’s nutrition should be top priority. SUSAN STOS describes how we can improve our children’s overall health and wellbeing by focusing on their school tuck shops.

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Two years ago Stellenbosch Primary School decided to get serious about health education. Their journey is a blueprint for conversion. Dr Yasmine Celliers spearheaded the project.

She is a medical doctor with an interest in children’s nutrition; specifically how food affects their learning, behaviour and mood, and she’s a mom at the school.

The first step was to get the headmaster on board.

When presented with the facts about a healthy diet he granted his full support. She gave seminars to the teachers who passed the knowledge on to the students in an age-appropriate manner. It was important to involve the parents. Upon realising how easily they could contribute to their children’s health and academic success, they were sold, says Celliers. “We do our children an injustice by feeding them incorrectly. We must take action against obesity. A child who is eating well can achieve optimally.”

Once everyone was included, healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle became a point of pride for the school and they wrote health policies and a mission statement. Interested parents came to the party and formed committees to source better-quality food, some of it from the parents themselves.

The tuck shop underwent a physical transformation as well with bright colours and posters so the children would associate healthy eating with vibrancy and fun.

a need for something different According to the Heart and Stroke Foundation and their South Africa’s Healthy Tuckshop programme 2013, 17% of

South African children under 10 are overweight. One of the main problems is their diet. Things like excessively sweetened foods put many children on a physical and emotional roller coaster all day. A sugary cereal in the morning spikes blood sugar levels, after which there is a slump as the amount of glucose in the body drops, leaving children irritable, moody and unable to concentrate. This lasts until break when sweets and sweetened drinks precipitate another spike and slump until they get to lunch. And so the pattern continues.

A low GI breakfast of oats, for example, prevents those peaks and troughs by slowly releasing glucose. Snacks like fruit and nuts avert the drastic highs and lows that excessive sugar produces.

At the 2013 Sugar and Health Symposium, Dr Louise van den Berg, a registered dietician and senior lecturer at the Department of Nutrition and Dietetics Faculty of Medicine at the University of the Free State said that sugar, if eaten in moderation, can be part of a balanced diet.

However she warns about the ease of drinking nutritive sweetened beverages such as fizzy drinks, low-fat drinking yogurt, and flavoured water as some of these products contain up to 11 teaspoons of added sugar. Research has shown that our consumption of them should be limited.

According to the Food Based Dietary Guidelines for South Africa from the Food and Agriculture Organisation of the United Nations (FAO) we should “use food and drinks containing sugar sparingly and not between meals.”The American Heart Association (AHA) states that “Sweetened beverages and naturally sweet beverages, such as fruit juice, should be limited to 118ml to 177ml per day for children one to six years old, and to 236ml to 354ml per day for children seven to 18 years old.” They also recommend limiting the amount of added sugars consumed to no more than half of a person’s daily discretionary calories

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

nutrition

allowance. For women, “that’s no more than 100 calories per day, or about six teaspoons of sugar. For men, it’s 150 calories per day, or about nine teaspoons.”

However, sugar and our consumption of it, has now become a highly discussed topic. In a recent National Geographic feature on the subject, Richard Johnson, an American kidney specialist, says, “It seems like every time I study an illness and trace a path to the first cause, I find my way back to sugar.” He points to overwhelming global statistics where one-third of adults have high blood pressure now whereas 5% had it a century ago. The incidence of diabetes has more than doubled in 30 years.

In the 1980s fat was blamed for making us fat and there were fat-free products galore. Despite eating less fat,

provider, and if parents are not happy they should do something about it. Meyer concurs that the first step is education. “Knowing what’s in a product is important.”

Like Stellenbosch Primary, their biggest concern was sugar and additives, such as colourants, flavour enhancers, preservatives and artificial sweeteners, all of which have the most effect on children’s behaviour. However, labels are meaningless without knowledge.

Every additive is given an E number, some as benign as E300, E162 and E601 – vitamin C, beetroot juice and carotene respectively. E951, on the other hand, is aspartame, which Dr Celliers says, forms formaldehyde during its metabolism in the body. Several nutritionists state that if one has to choose the lesser of evils, rather

e-numbers E-numbers (E stands for Europe) are codes for the additives, natural and otherwise, that have been approved by the European Union and Switzerland.

However, several countries have banned a number of them.

E100 – E199 colourants E200 – E299 preservatives E300 – E399 antioxidants E400 – E499 thickeners, stabilisers, emulsifiers E500 – E599 acidity regulators, anti-caking agents E600 – E699 flavour enhancers

According to the Heart and Stroke Foundation 17% of South African children under 10 are overweight. people continued to get fatter because more and more salt and sugar were used to flavour the fat-free foods. It is common knowledge now that fat is essential in a diet but there are good fats and bad fats. Good fats are those found in natural products, such as avocados, olives, nuts and seeds. The bad fats are the trans fats, which have been completely eliminated at Stellenbosch Primary.

change for the better The parents at another government primary school, Jan van Riebeeck in Cape Town, are also concerned and have collectively decided that they want healthier food for their children. Heleen Meyer, parent at the school and food consultant, points out that a tuck shop is a service

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allow your children to drink a sugary cool drink than the sugar-free version with aspartame. Other additives to avoid include E102, E104, E110, E122, E125, E129, E211, which are found to cause allergic reactions and/or hyperactivity in normal children. And then there’s the perennial baddie E625 or monosodium glutamate.

So what is on offer at Stellenbosch Primary? The list is long and delicious, from nuts and seeds to crunchies and fruit. Meals include quiche, homemade sandwiches on whole-wheat bread and wraps with avo, good-quality meats, chicken and uncoloured cheeses. Not only are the fares healthy, so is the bottom line. Once parents understood the connection between a healthy diet, behaviour and academic performance, they wanted to support the tuck shop.

E700 – E799 antibiotics E900 – E999 glazing agents and sweeteners E1000 – E1599

additional chemical

help on hand Discover Vitality has a healthy tuck shop school challenge, with downloadable posters, lesson plans and a substantial cash prize for the winning school. For more info: visit vitalityschools.co.za The Heart and Stroke Foundation healthy tuck shop programme. For more info: visit heartfoundation.co.za/tuckshops Jamie Oliver has done a lot for school meals in the UK by reacquainting children with real food.

For more info: visit jamieoliver.com

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spotlight

two schools of thought Having emigrated overseas with her son, DONNA COBBAN discusses the

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n a recent Unesco statistics study, New Zealand was eighth in the education ranking of countries – not bad for a wee island in the middle of nowhere.

Finland was first, while South Africa did not feature. As a developing nation, this is not surprising. New Zealand and Finland are only home to a collective number not exceeding 10 million. South Africa, on the other hand, is home to 53 million people, so these sorts of rankings will never sit well with reality. In South Africa, if you live close enough to a school with good teachers and enough resources then you are likely to get a good education. Sadly both are often in short supply.

I moved to New Zealand last year – my son’s education being one of the motivating factors. We got here just before he turned five, which is the day children start school – right on their fifth birthday, no matter when in the year they are born. At first I found

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this strange, but it makes good sense. The Year 1 class starts small and grows as the year passes, the teacher has time to get to know the children and each new child is welcomed into a supportive environment where routines and expected behaviour have been set up.

which has three language immersion units, that wasn’t subject to zoning. The units accepted children who already spoke in their language, and after a few interviews we were accepted into the French Unit. My son’s father is from France and I thought it crucial our son become fluent in both

The children learn each other’s songs, dip into one another’s languages and come home understanding that many languages make the world go round.

As in South Africa, schools here are zoned and the zoning policy is strictly enforced, with the house and rental prices near the “better” schools pulling an unsurprisingly higher price. Our case was a bit different to most – for many years while still in Cape Town, I had my eye on a small state school in central Auckland,

English and French. In the first year of school he will learn in French for five days a week and in the years to follow he will learn in English for two days and French for three.

For this “state school privilege” – and it is a huge one – I pay $450 every year (about R3 500) – this goes towards purchasing learning materials in French. The other two

language units are Maori and Samoan.

The children learn each other’s songs, dip into one another’s languages and come home understanding that many languages make the world go round. This aspect of the school I readily embraced while other aspects were hard to get my head around: the security that I had become used to in South Africa just does not exist here.

Schools here have little in the way of locked gates; in our case you can literally walk off the street into the playground. While the likelyhood of a child being snatched here is remote, the downside is that over the December holidays half of the copper downpipes were stolen.

One change that struck former South African parent and teacher Belinda Ash* was “…the lack of school uniform at primary school and the seeming lack of authoritarian discipline.” I agree with her.

I am used to seeing a show of authority

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

differences between the South African and the New Zealand schooling systems.

around schools as well as a strong branding of the school and it took me a while to get used to this. Belinda does add though that her “…initial prejudicial view of the link between a uniform and discipline was quite quickly dissipated, as it soon became evident that there was no relationship.”

The school day starts at 9am here, perfect for the non-working parent, but tricky if you need to be at work by 8am.

Luckily the moms at our school who don’t work are really supportive, so instead of using the expensive before-care option offered by the school, I drop my son off at one of his classmates’ houses on my way to work. He takes a packed lunch, but you can order a sandwich or sushi if you find the bread bin empty one morning. The day ends at 3pm with aftercare, again at a price, if you need it and there are also reasonably priced afternoon activities that keep them occupied till 4:30pm. At the moment I have him enrolled in a children’s history of art class and a Pacific drumming class.

So far I am unable to see a difference in teaching and learning styles, but when Belinda first arrived here she found she had to adjust her style of teaching to a “child-centred” approach whereby a child was taught at his/her level rather than being pushed to “pass” a grade. However, this is now changing with the introduction of National Standards, which Belinda thinks “…is a response to the fact that without the pressure to achieve at a particular level,

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a very wide gap has developed between top students and the tailenders. Now the pendulum is swinging back.” A comment made by Belinda’s husband on arrival in New Zealand was that “South Africa is very focused on content and knowledge whereas New Zealand is focused on process and problem solving.”

Angie Howse moved to New Zealand in 1998 and although she didn’t take up a full-time teaching position here, she saw three children through school and works part-time at a local school. The New Zealand system, she explains emphasises key competencies that develop a lifelong learner. “It understands that children will leave school and have to make their way in an ever-changing society. Five key competencies are: thinking, using language, symbols and text, managing self, relating to others, and participating and contributing.

As a result students need to be adaptable, and become risk-takers. She points out that everything they do at school is with those key competencies in mind.

While we talk about the differences between the two systems, she says she often sees South African parents struggling to come to terms with the New Zealand school system. “Many parents,” she says, “initially feel that there is a lack of discipline and that the children are given too much freedom, but they soon adapt to the new approach.” * Names have been changed

school options in New Zealand • state-funded schools • state-integrated schools based on religion (mainly Catholic) • private schools State schools are given a decile number, which is a classification of the socioeconomic background of the majority of the students.

A low-decile school will have a high proportion of students from low socioeconomic backgrounds and will receive more government funding, while a higher decile school will ask parents for a yearly “donation” and use this money to pay for the myriad “extras” all schools need. Parents may also be asked to pay for stationery. Private schools vary vastly in fees, some reaching up to $28 000 (±R233 200) or more annually.

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home

there’s a rat in the kitchen Avoid these common household hazards and you’ll spare yourself a trip to the emergency

in the fridge The expiry date on food containers is not some marketing ploy; it’s there for a reason.

If something has expired, chuck it. The other golden rule is simple: when in doubt, throw it out.

likely be darker in texture than from younger animals. Meat can also turn redder when exposed to fresh air. Trust your nose. If there is even a hint of an odour, do not eat it. The same goes for fish – a bad smell will be the first sign that it’s off.

eggs

other refrigeration tips

These can be kept in the refrigerator for up to five weeks after purchase, but keep in mind that eggs drop in grades the longer they are kept. If you’re unsure, do the ancient egg-test: put the egg in a bowl of water. If it floats, it’s bad.

The expiry date on milk, yoghurt and other dairy products is a good indicator, but sometimes these can still be consumed a day or two later. Your best bet is smell and texture. If your milk starts looking like your yoghurt and your yoghurt resembles your cottage cheese, get rid of them.

• Don’t store raw and cooked foods together. Put raw meats on the bottom shelf of the fridge so that none of the juices can spill onto the other foods.

• Food and drinks stored in the door of the fridge get the most heat, because of the closing and opening of the door.

• Cooked food should be stored in the fridge no more than two hours after cooking. Rice, especially, is a haven for bacteria. Cool down the warm rice with cold water immediately after eating, and place it in the fridge or freeze it.

• Don’t over-stock your fridge. Cool air needs space to circulate to keep food cold.

• Clean your fridge regularly.

• Leftovers should be eaten within three to four days according to the US Department of Agriculture’s Food, Safety and Inspection service.

• Don’t put open canned food in the fridge.

Acidic foods can interact with the metal.

• Don’t wash fruit and vegetables before you store them. It might speed up spoilage.

fruit and veggies

in your cupboard

cheese Your normal varieties of block cheese can get mouldy and it’s okay to cut off the mould and still use the cheese. But if the cheese smells bad as well, bin it. Once there is mould in a container of cottage cheese or spreading cheese, it must be thrown out. If you love the pungent variety – blue cheese and others – and don’t know if it’s gone off, stick to the expiry date.

other dairy

Mushy and mouldy fruit and veggies should be thrown out. There is a reason why your refrigerator has a separate drawer for fruit and vegetables. Keep them separate as fruit releases ethylene, which speeds up the ripening process of vegetables.

meat Judging any kind of meat (red, chicken, pork) by its colour can be misleading. Meat from older animals, for example, will most

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Bottles and canisters with cleaning fluids and “spring-fresh” smells may not be as innocent as they look. Do not store these products under your sink. Rather keep them on a higher shelf that children can’t reach, even when they’re standing on a chair.

Flammable and combustible liquids are also potential fuel sources for fires and must be stored away from ignition points, such as electrical panels and plugs, and in cool, well-ventilated areas. magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

room, says Marina Zietsman.

air freshener Many of these products contain what is called volatile organic compounds (VOCs) of formaldehyde, petroleum distillates, limonene, esters and alcohols. In an article by Bryan Walsh in Time Magazine (November 2011), Dr Stanley Fineman of the American College of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology says, “This is a much bigger problem than people realise. About 20 percent of the (American) population and 34 percent of people with asthma report health problems from air fresheners. We know air-freshener fragrances can trigger allergy symptoms, aggravate existing allergies and worsen asthma.�

all-purpose cleaner Many household cleaners contain ammonia. This gas has highly bothersome fumes and should be handled with care.

The fumes can irritate the eyes and lungs and may cause a rash or burn when spilt onto the skin. Most importantly, never mix a product that contains ammonia with another substance, especially not with any product that has bleach in it, as this can create a potentially deadly chloramine gas.

The golden rule for the use and storage of products that contain ammonia is to follow the instructions on the bottle.

disinfectants and lye. As this process does not dissolve the dirt, the particles evaporate causing indoor air pollution. Poor indoor air quality can cause or contribute to the development of respiratory conditions such as irritations and infections of the respiratory tract and can worsen asthma.

It can also cause headaches, dry eyes, nausea and fatigue.

dishwashing detergent Automatic dishwashing detergents are harsher than other detergents. They can cause skin irritation and burns, and may be poisonous when swallowed. The handwashing version is not fatal, but can cause irritation in the mouth and throat as well as nausea if ingested.

drain cleaner This normally contains sodium hydroxide, potassium hydroxide or sulphuric acid.

The latter is a very strong, corrosive chemical. Depending on the concentration of the solution, sulphuric acid can cause severe burns on the skin and, if it comes into contact with the eyes, can lead to blindness. What do you expect from a substance that can eat its way through napkins, rags, paper and organic material, melt ice and liquefy grease?

bleach

furniture polish

Standard household bleach contains the chemical sodium hypochlorite, a toxic skin irritant that is also highly corrosive to the lungs and eyes. It can cause pulmonary oedema (fluid in the lungs) or vomiting and may induce a coma if ingested.

This product commonly used in the home typically contains serious industrial substances: naphtha, an industrial solvent and the main content in lighter fluid; nitrobenzene, one of the substances used to make oil for cars and machines, dyes, drugs, pesticides and rubber; petroleum distillates, found in paint thinners and phenol, one of the more dangerous chemicals usually found in a biochemistry laboratory.

carpet and upholstery shampoo Some carpet cleaners contain the same chemical solvents that dry-cleaners use. They clean the carpets without soap and water, but produce fumes from formaldehyde, acids, pesticides, magazine joburg

mould and mildew cleaners The poisonous ingredients in some of these cleaners are detergents, hydrogen November 2013

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home

five golden rules of home safety

peroxide, sodium, hypochlorite, sodium perborate and sodium percarbonate. Swallowing, breathing in the product or spraying it in the eyes is potentially dangerous.

It can harm airways and lungs, eyes, ears, nose, throat, gastrointestinal organs, heart, blood, the nervous system and the skin.

oven cleaner

laundry detergents and softeners

The Poison Information Centre at the Red Cross Children’s Hospital states that each household product has so many different active ingredients within them with the potential to do harm in various ways. Therefore, there is no specific way to treat certain general product poisonings at home, and they advise that you rather immediately call a poison centre for advice (see “emergency hotlines”).

Most commercial laundry detergents contain bleach; fragrance – artificial fragrances are believed to consist of more than 3 000 synthetic chemicals; phenols (see furniture polish); synthetic surfactants, which can be carcinogenic and optical brighteners, which make your clothes appear whiter, but can also cause skin reactions when exposed to sunlight.

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A common ingredient found in many oven cleaners is sodium hydroxide, better known as caustic soda.

This substance can remove paint, corrode certain metals, dull glass, eat rubber and distort certain elements. Imagine what it could do to your skin, eyes or intestines?

1 T each everyone in your household the emergency telephone numbers and keep them next to the phone.

2 Read all package inserts, labels and instructions.

Follow all instructions listed by the manufacturer.

3 Attend a first-aid course and ensure that anyone who is caring for your child does the same.

4 I dentify and eliminate potentially unsafe objects, products and situations in and around your home.

5 Never reprimand your child for reporting potential dangers in and around your home.

Reward them for their quick thinking and get them involved in “safety”.

Courtesy of Childsafe – childsafe.org.za

emergency hotlines Poison Hotline 0800 33 3444 (all areas) Red Cross Children’s Hospital 021 689 5227 Tygerberg Poison Info Centre 021 931 6129 Johannesburg Anti-Poison Centre 011 642 2417 or 011 488 3108

Concoct your own chemical-free household cleaners; for recipes go to childmag.co.za/content/natural-cleaning-products

magazine joburg

education

a valuable learning

tool

JANINE DUNLOP uncovers the advantages of using cellphones in the classroom.

m

y 13 year old says to me via instant messaging: “lolwksf”. “Pardon me?”, I reply. I have no idea whether he has just pocket-texted me, or that what he said is supposed to mean something. “Laugh out loud while keeping a straight face,” he replies. “Like this: .” Text-speak, while vernacular to teenagers, is a foreign language to the older generation. Not knowing it makes us feel old. But, like it or not, teenagers are fluent in this language. Their fingers fly over the tiny cellphone keyboard, their heads are filled with the online world of instant messaging, gaming and social networking. But does this world have any place in our schools?

something innocuous. It’s understandable that there is concern over the safety of children using the internet on their smartphones. The NASGB, however, is quoted in the News24 article as saying that not only do these images “pollute children’s thoughts”, they also “prevent them from learning anything”. But, does exposure to questionable content really affect children’s learning ability? Of the 127 comments on the News24 article, it seems that the majority thinks it does and sides with the NASGB: cellphones are bad and have no place in South African schools.

teenagers and cellphones

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

ban the cellphone The National Association of School Governing Bodies (NASGB) called for a ban on the use of cellphones in South African schools. Quoted in a News24 article of May last year, they argued that learners need to focus on their schoolwork and the ban would “protect them against irregularities on social networks”. Many of us tend to make this mental leap: we assume that all school-age children are using smartphones for recreational purposes only, to the detriment of their schoolwork, or that they are vulnerable to abuse by virtue of participating on social networks.

The latter is not an insignificant issue. Horror stories abound and have taken on the flavour of urban myth: girls lured to meet with online paedophiles masquerading as peers, photos and videos of children in compromising situations sent to entire schools and children exposed to pornographic content by accidentally accessing it while searching for

magazine joburg

There’s no question that South African teenagers use cellphones extensively. A 2011 report from the Yoza project’s website showed that 90–100% of urban youth had cellphones, with 70% of those teenagers owning smartphones.

Some use their cellphones purely for pleasure, while others use them for educational purposes as well. After their four-phase study conducted in 2011, Marion Walton and Jonathan Donner published a paper entitled “Your phone has internet – why are you at a library PC? Reimagining public access in the mobile internet era” and found that MXit and Facebook were the most popular among teenagers using their mobile phones for internet access. Some of the teenagers they interviewed saw their phones as tools for pleasure rather than learning and viewed MXit as a completely separate space to the learning environment.

On the other hand, some teenagers used the platform extensively as a homework aid by discussing their homework assignments and getting help from their peers.

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education

schools do allow cellphones While researching this article, the most common answer received from a handful of South African schools in response to the question of whether cellphones were allowed in the classroom, was a resounding “No”. Not everyone is against it though. A teacher at a Cape Town high school, who wished to remain anonymous, says she “would love to use cellphones in the classroom,” but school policy prohibits her from doing so.

Lately however, some South African schools are not only allowing cellphones to be brought to school by learners, but also including them in lessons. Norman Henshilwood High in Constantia, Cape Town, is one such school. The principal, David Millar, is adamant that cellphones are an integral part of a teenager’s life and their potential should be harnessed, not quashed. Norman Henshilwood teachers allow cellphone use during lessons primarily for access to the internet and to enhance learning. Millar believes that schools should go along with technology trends to make learning relevant and argues that with the inclusion of cellphones in the classroom, he gets far more engagement from learners than without. Learning, he says, has become more dynamic.

Similarly, Robyn Clark, a maths teacher at Sekolo Sa Borokgo, a private school in Joburg, has embraced the use of cellphones in the classroom. “If I ever need to find information, I just say to my students, ‘Get out your phones and google it’,” she says. She also allows them to listen to music on their phones while doing class exercises. At Sun Valley Primary near Cape Town, Mathew Philips, the digital learning director, says that cellphones are used to enhance the curriculum and not as a replacement for the content. Learners are encouraged to use their cellphones during structured lessons that include use of the technology.

cellphones as learning tools There are also numerous initiatives in place that demonstrate that cellphones can be used as educational tools.

The M4Lit (mobile phones for literacy) project set out to explore the idea that cellphones could be used to support reading and writing by youth in South Africa. The premise, according to another report by Walton entitled, “Mobile literacies and South African Teens: Leisure reading, writing, and MXit chatting for teens in Langa and Guguletu”, was that teenagers were not reading for pleasure. During the pilot phase, a novel written and published in English and isiXhosa was distributed on a mobisite and on MXit. Readers

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could interact with each other about the story, make comments, participate in polls and enter writing competitions. The project was a resounding success and a second story was distributed. Both stories were read over 34 000 times.

The Yoza project grew out of this initial phase (www.yoza.mobi). Here, more stories in the Kontax series have been published, as well as others from various genres, like soccer and teen romance. By late 2011, the stories on Yoza had been read 300 000 times, with 145 000 unique visitors and 8 500 competition entries, proving that South African teenagers want to read and cellphones are a valuable tool for making this happen.

Not only are teenagers reading on their cellphones, they’re also getting help with school subjects, like mathematics. Also on MXit, a project called Dr Math, referenced in Mobinomics: MXit and Africa’s Mobile Revolution was initiated by Laurie Butgereit, who started using MXit to help her son, Chris, with his maths. Chris would send the problem to her and, sitting at a computer in another part of the house, she would help him find

Cellphones are an integral part of a teenager’s life and their potential should be harnessed, not quashed. the solution. The idea grew from there. Soon Chris’ friends were contacting Dr Math, as Laurie calls herself, for help with their homework. Dr Math now takes the form of a group of undergraduates from the University of Pretoria’s Faculty of Engineering, who log on every day after school and help some 30 000 subscribers with maths problems. “For many children in South Africa, this is the most qualified tutor that they will have access to,” says Steve Vosloo, a mobile learning specialist at UNESCO, in a BBC Future website article.

pros and cons As with any debate about the usefulness of cellphones among teenagers, the issue comes with pros and cons.

We can’t all afford to provide cellphones for our teenagers, so there are those who have no access, whether smartphones or otherwise. Millar recognises that this could become an issue should more educators in South Africa adopt cellphones as teaching aids. He finds

magazine joburg

at Norman Henshilwood, however, that learners who don’t have cellphones are assisted by their peers. Not every learner has the same kind of cellphone, says Philips from Sun Valley Primary, and devices vary in their functionality. Teachers should try to use generic apps or ones that can be used across many different devices, like WhatsApp and BBM. Both Millar and Clark understand that cellphones can be a distraction for teenagers, but have found that policing their use is largely unnecessary. Use is self-regulated at Millar’s school: “If I walk past a student who is texting,” he says, “the phone gets put away immediately.” Clark’s students understand that if they are found to be doing anything other than schoolwork on their phone during class, it will be confiscated.

Text-speak is an issue identified by researchers for the Yoza project. The argument goes that teenagers using MXit adopt their own texting language and that their use of the English language is deteriorating. Interestingly, however, following some grammar and spelling errors in the Kontax stories that mistakenly slipped through the editing process, teenagers submitted responses to correct these. “Remember that this is generation txt, who apparently can’t spell or write properly. This may be true based on the txtspk they used to inform us of the mistakes, but what is clearly evident is that when they read they know their spelling from their splng,” according to the Yoza project website.

get involved If use of the cellphone is to be seen as more than a leisure activity, then parents would do well to show an interest in it: • Ensure that a younger teenager’s browsing is controlled. Set a time limit and install parental control software or apps.

• Familiarise yourself with the latest educational apps so that you can recommend them to your teenager. Set time aside to learn how to use them together.

• Find out what your teenager’s school cellphone policy is: do they allow it or not?

• Find out about safety measures at school so that your teenager’s cellphone isn’t at risk.

In an ITWeb article, media analyst Arthur Goldstuck, says, “Education should be the last place where technophobia is allowed, let alone entrenched in regulations.” If these success stories are anything to go by, he’s right. The use of cellphones for educational use in South African schools should be carefully considered, rather than banned outright.

magazine joburg

November 2013

31

straight talk

parenting within

bounds Teenagers need limits, but they also need to test their growing independence. It’s about finding a healthy

rofessionals, myself included, talk about it often enough, but what exactly does it mean to say that teenagers need limits? When it comes to parents and teenagers discussing the role limits should play, things are not quite as straightforward.

You may be interested to know that the word “limit” has two meanings, both important. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a limit is a “point, an edge or a line beyond which something, or someone, cannot or may not proceed”. Most parents would applaud this definition and state that

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those are indeed the type of limits that teenagers need. However a second, equally relevant meaning of the word is “something that gets taken to the very extreme”, as in “pushed to the limit”, or that which “stretches the bounds of comprehension to the greatest degree imaginable”. Most teenagers would be very satisfied with this definition and would happily give this version a try. The reality is that both meanings are true and appropriate, and they can and must coexist.

Our challenge as parents is to discover a way of striking a balance that will be helpful to our teenagers and bearable for us.

magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

p

balance between the two, advises GARY KOEN.

why do they need limits?

Our understanding starts by realising that as they become teenagers, everything about them changes, and as childhood slips slowly away from them, so too do their own internal limits. They are replaced by a range of new and unfamiliar needs, which in simple terms can be summarised as a need to discover themselves again.

As such, they are propelled forward into their new world by a driving mass of developmental forces that quite literally stretch every fibre of their being.

Their bodies expand and transform in a manner that is beyond their control. Hair pops out all over the place, their skin often does unthinkable things and their voices may desert them. Socially, they move into a vast new world filled with exciting people and experiences. They shift away from their parents as they gravitate towards this thrilling mixture of raw energy, confused confidence and edgy bravado. They also

magazine joburg

seek to distance themselves from their recent childhood, scoffing at its simple pleasures and mocking their earlier innocence. Everything that is happening to them is a move away from what they once knew and so it is unnatural for them to be able to limit themselves.

not entirely fair. The truth is that they are not fully formed; they are in flux. The developmental platform built up over the previous 12 years or so comes in for some serious assault, and overall this is not a particularly comfortable or comforting time for anybody. So it’s now that the value of

The truth for parents and for teenagers at this stage is that it is not so much about how much you can get right, as it is about limiting how much you get wrong.

This revolution takes place in a world that is not particularly welcoming or understanding. Similarly, the teenager is neither equipped, nor for that matter all that interested, in taking on any real responsibilities or challenges. While they are often loudly criticised for their extreme selfishness at this point, this is

the more prosaic, restrictive or boring adult version of limits becomes important.

healthy limits These external limits serve as a reminder to both parents and teenagers that they are not yet grown up. In fact, they are a rather long way from being grown up. The

real value of the external limits that you, the parents, represent is to be able to trigger your teenager’s own internal limits.

The truth for parents and teenagers at this stage is that it is not so much about how much you can get right, as it is about limiting how much you get wrong. Healthy parental limits allow children to test and ultimately find their own limits, and in so doing, consolidate their own internal guiding voice.

Teenagers expect to try and get away with breaking boundaries and challenging rules, but they don’t genuinely believe that they should be allowed to do whatever they want. If you cave in to their demands, you become useless to them and they have to find someone else who is capable of withstanding them. They may well survive without any limits, but your relationship will not. You are not doing your child any good by vanishing into the background or bending to their will. They will not feel

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straight talk

gratitude. Instead, they will feel betrayed.

Teenagers are not in control of their own lives; they are not yet capable of looking after themselves properly, and therefore the reason that we have limits is to take the pressure off them, and provide them with the space and the opportunity to learn how to gain control over their lives without irreparably harming themselves.

limits can be lifesaving You have to understand that adolescence is about a child’s movement from a state of relative dependency towards independence; their transition to maturity.

However, as they stand poised on the cusp of their lives, with their whole future stretching ahead of them, they are in a very vulnerable position. They are often susceptible to picking up dangerous and destructive habits, which could ruin not only their lives, but yours too. So the last thing they need as they move towards independence is to get caught up in a lifestyle that is going to keep them helpless, useless and, worst of all, dependent on you.

If this happens, and they find themselves battling an addiction; if they can’t finish their degrees and their friends are all passing them by; if they have crashed their cars; if they have lost their boyfriends and girlfriends or if they can barely hold down a job, they will not look back nostalgically and thank their parents for being so lenient. They will not love their parents for never saying no and letting

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them do potentially harmful things. They will hate themselves and, in turn, they will come to hate their parents as well.

one of the best kept secrets Believe it or not, despite all the various status symbols on offer, most teenagers covet having strict parents. Forget about flashy cellphones, brand-name clothing, motorcars, holiday homes, and overseas holidays. The most valued status symbol among teenagers is having strict parents, as teenagers will grudgingly concede that these are seen as caring parents.

Strict parents are those that are willing to impose limits and suffer the consequences of their child’s outrage and, are willing to compromise, understand, and tolerate where necessary, but not give in. These parents are regarded as status symbols because their children and those around them believe that they really do care. While material trappings seem important as well, they never bring the lasting satisfaction and sense of fulfilment that being loved and cared for brings. However, I have to warn you that teenagers will emphatically deny this, and some parents may also trash this notion, simply because ultimately it is quite intangible. After all, how do you measure care?

Having said this, parents need to exercise discretion as to how and when to act. Blindly applying rules without any insight is not being strict. Furthermore, you have to remember that there is not only one right way. You are unique, your magazine joburg

child is unique and so is your relationship.

You have to find what is going to work for you. However, in working things out I believe it will be helpful to remember this simple principle: you cannot have only rules and no relationship, nor can you have a relationship without any rules.

relationship rules Having only rules and no relationship will breed resentment, bitterness and unhappiness. The authoritarian approach alone will simply not work. A “my way or the highway” approach generally results in a head-on collision. What little relationship there is gets lost and the breakdowns become irreconcilable. The gulf between the parents and child widens and ultimately they all drift apart to become uncomfortable strangers in each other’s lives.

On the other hand, having a relationship with no rules is a form of simply giving up and becoming your child’s buddy. The

friend were at home, envious of the others who were enjoying a good time out. They were filled with resentment towards their stubborn parents. So they decided they would host their own private party and raid the liquor cabinet while the mother was out.

She arrived home to find two extremely drunk and rather ill girls. The following day, feeling fragile and nauseous, Lucy worked through the feelings and events of the previous evening. Unbeknown to her, however, the police had raided said party and had made several arrests including some of her friends. Lucy’s school was in a massive uproar on the Monday. Parents were called in, lawyers were involved and her friends were in big trouble. That afternoon she admitted to her mother, “I’m only going to say this once, and then I will deny ever having said it, and you are never allowed to repeat it. If I ever want to do something that you believe is dangerous and reckless, you have to

The presence of healthy parental limits allows children to test and ultimately find their own limits, and, in so doing, their own internal guiding voice. parent’s world collapses into the child’s and whatever authority or influence you may have had ultimately disappears, and along with it any respect, trust or positive regard that your child may have felt for you. Simply put, you become useless to your child, and ultimately a burden, which they may eventually want to shrug off.

I believe that the majority of us are desperate to avoid either of those scenarios and are willing to do what we can to make our relationship with our teenager work better. Ultimately, it is the long-term relationship with your teenager you are trying to look after. It is the future that you are trying to protect and I cannot think of a richer reward in life than having a deep, meaningful and lasting relationship with your grown-up child.

A single mother and her Grade 10 daughter, Lucy, discovered this when Lucy was invited to an “open” house party. Her mother flatly refused to let her go, and Lucy was furious as all her friends were going. The night of the party Lucy and a

stop me, regardless of what I say or what I threaten to do. You are not allowed to let me do it. There, I have said it; now let’s leave it at that.”

And that is how they continued to fight their way through the rest of Lucy’s teenage years. She still protested and complained if her mother set boundaries, but her mother fought back equally hard. It was made easier because Lucy had specifically told her that she did need some limits. Not everyone will be as fortunate to receive such a clear set of instructions. However, I believe Lucy was brave enough to articulate what many others secretly know; they are not yet in control of their lives and they know they don’t understand everything.

Children who have been well looked after internalise a need to look after themselves. It is this need that serves as their internal limit to guide them when they make decisions. So yes, teenagers do need limits. Don’t be afraid to set them to ensure not only your child’s wellbeing and safety, but also your own.

about the author Gary Koen is a clinical psychologist in private practice with over 20 years’ experience, working mainly with adults and adolescents. He also does presentations at schools on a range of teenage-related topics. These include all the general aspects of normal adolescent development. He developed and successfully runs a course, “An introduction to adolescence”, aimed at parents. He is also working on a book that deals with the challenges facing parents and teenagers and, as a father of three, he is heavily invested in everything he says. For more information, visit garykoen.co.za

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35

book extract

east coast tables Try these recipes from East Coast Tables: The Inland Edition, featuring some

gordon and rekha’s yoghurtmarinated breyani

meat and marinade • 1½kg mutton/lamb cubes • 1 small bunch each dhania and mint, chopped • 5 stems thyme • 1½ tsp each garam masala, coriander and cumin powder • 1 tsp turmeric • 1½ Tbsp curry powder • 3 green chillies, roughly chopped • 2 tsp finely chopped ginger • 2 cloves garlic, chopped • 500ml plain yoghurt Combine all of the above, and marinate 2–4 hours in the fridge.

Gordon Kisten is Honeydew Dairies’ yoghurt factory manager – the man responsible for bringing home multiple national awards for this dynamic KZN Midlands enterprise. The recipe is long only because the Kistens have deconstructed the dish, step-by-step, to make it easier.

cooking the meat • 2 Tbsp oil • 1 onion, sliced • 2 cinnamon sticks • 4 bay leaves • 3 each cloves, star anise and cardamom

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Coat the bottom of pot with oil, and add onion. Fry until golden. Add spices. Stir and cook for 5 minutes. Add marinated meat mixture. Cook, covered, for 1 hour. Check the meat at 30–45 minutes. Stir gently. rice • 2 cups rice • ½ cup brown lentils • 1 tsp turmeric powder • 1 pinch salt Put the rice in a pot, and cover with water (2cm above rice). Add lentils, turmeric and salt. Boil for 1 hour. Strain and set aside. potatoes • 4 medium potatoes, peeled, sliced into thirds • 1 Tbsp oil • 1 Tbsp turmeric Microwave potatoes 5 minutes to soften.

Combine oil and turmeric, drizzle over potatoes. Roast at 190°C for 25 minutes.

to serve Combine rice, potatoes and cooked meat. Serve as is, or with roti. On the side: the following yoghurt dish…

kisten yoghurt salad A partner to the breyani above, this recipe from Gordon and Rekha is good with any curry, and though it has a bit of a nip, does the business for those who feel the need to tone down their Indian dishes. In the Kisten family, one of the children likes it hot and the other cooler. This salad/ sambal keeps everyone happy.

• 500ml plain yoghurt • ½ cucumber • 1 handful mint • 1 green chilli, roughly chopped • 1 small bunch dhania/coriander • ½ tsp garam masala • 1 pinch salt Whizz in a blender and refrigerate until ready to serve.

magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: CLINTON FRIEDMAN

of your favourite KZN celebrities. By Erica Platter and Clinton Friedman

spud’s spuds John van de Ruit and his partner and manager Julia Clarence, made it for us (they like to use Swissland goat cheese). These potatoes make an excellent side for braais, and are brilliant (Spud should know) for a midnight feast.

• 6 potatoes (the bigger the better) • 3 Tbsp butter, melted • Salt and black pepper • 1 log ash-coated goat cheese, crumbled • 2 Tbsp rosemary, chopped • 1 Tbsp chives, chopped • 1 tsp crushed coriander seeds • Olive oil

Bake the 6 potatoes at 200°C for an hour, turning once. (Cunning trick: if you place the potatoes on a baking tray on a bed of rock salt, they turn out better. I know it looks weird, but my grandmother, Wombat, assured me this wouldn’t blow up the oven.) Remove from the oven. When cool enough, slice the potatoes in half and scoop insides into a bowl. Take care not to tear the skins. Add the rest of the ingredients to a bowl. Mix well, but don’t lose the rustic look. Scoop the mixture back into the skins. Return to a 180°C oven for 25 minutes, or until warm and crispy.

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our famous ginger biscuits Valley Bakery in the Berg grows its own wheat, makes its own flour, and bakes its own gingerbread men (and women) from this recipe: perfect for children to ice for parties, for Christmas (hang them on the tree) or for fun.

• 1¼ cups butter • 4 eggs • 2 cups brown sugar • 1¼ cups golden syrup • 3½ cups flour

• 1 tsp bicarb • 1 tsp ground ginger • 1 tsp ground cinnamon • 1 tsp mixed spice

Mix the first four ingredients until creamy. Sift remaining ingredients four times. Mix all together to make a soft dough. Roll out. Use a biscuit or gingerbread man or any other cookiecutter to cut out shapes. Bake at 180°C for 12 to 15 minutes.

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book extract

pat lambie’s big match pasta They’re both brilliant, Sharks and Bok rugby prodigy Pat Lambie and this, his favourite quick meal – chicken pasta with red pepper and cashew pesto. It’s his first choice on the eve of a big game, for that important “night before” meal. And it was what, as a schoolboy, he always requested as his “last supper” at home, before the drive from Durban back to Michaelhouse after the holidays. He teams this chicken sauce with fresh tagliatelle.

• 6–8 skinless, deboned chicken breasts • Dash of olive oil • 1 onion, chopped • Heaped tsp crushed garlic • Heaped tsp crushed chilli • 2 chillies, finely sliced • Salt and pepper • 2 tubs red pepper and cashew nut pesto* • ½ small carton reduced-fat cream • Coriander leaves to garnish Cube the chicken breasts. Heat a small dash of olive oil in a pan, and gently fry the onion, garlic and chilli. Add the chicken seasoned with salt and pepper. Stir-fry

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until just cooked. Drain the excess oil from the pesto. Add the pesto to the chicken in a pan. Mix gently. When simmering, add cream. Reduce the heat, and simmer gently while cooking the pasta. When done, stir the pasta into sauce, toss well, and serve with ciabatta and a green salad. *You can buy or make your own red pepper pesto (see below). red pepper pesto • 6 red peppers, halved, de-seeded • 6 cloves garlic, sliced • 1 cup olive oil • Juice of 2 lemons • Zest of 1 lemon • ½ medium onion, sliced • ½ cup pecans • 1 slice bread • 2 tsp ground cumin • 1 red chilli, sliced • 1 tsp 5-spice • Salt and pepper

about the book East Coast Tables: The Inland Edition,

by Erica Platter and photographer Clinton Friedman, is the second recipe book published by East Coast Radio. It highlights foods and ingredients from KwaZulu-Natal’s inland region and offers recipes from local heroes like former

Fill the cavities of red peppers with garlic and a splash of olive oil. Roast at 220°C until blackening at the edges. Cut up roughly. Put into processor with the remaining ingredients. Whizz to a smooth paste (add more oil if necessary). Adjust seasoning – salt will be needed.

Springbok rugby player Stefan Terblanche and South Africa’s first MasterChef winner Deena Naidoo.

East Coast Tables: The Inland Edition can be purchased at all bookstores nationwide for R295.

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ideas

m

money savvy

egan’s children had been asking for a chocolate and when they were on special she explained that it was a good day to buy one. They were a reasonable price and wouldn’t use up all the children’s pocket money. Megan is a mom of two.

Both children get pocket money regularly, which they put into two piggy banks; a silver one for saving and another for spending. “Having pocket money helps them know how much they’ve saved and how much things cost,” says Megan. “They learn to value and appreciate money.”

out their saving goals. Introduce the concept of short-, medium- and long-term goals, explaining that saving up for a toy won’t take as long as saving for a bike, but they can do both at the same time, and have money left over. Draw up a savings chart, showing how much they have saved, what they still need, and how long it will take to reach their goals.

saving

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

budgeting Pocket money is a useful way to teach children about saving, says Thembeka Ngugi, a senior marketing manager at Old Mutual. Once children are old enough to understand budgeting, parents can use a spreadsheet to draw up a budget and work out how much pocket money to give.

Outline the items you think your children should buy for themselves, such as airtime, clothes and toiletries. Plus, include a little extra for saving. Go over the budget with your children. Show them what they’re expected to pay for and explain that if they overspend on extras, they may have to go without essentials. But if they spend carefully, they can save.

When it comes to saving, teach children to pay themselves first by putting away a portion of their pocket money, as part of their budget. From there they can work

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Children who have financial know-how can make their money work for them. TAMLYN VINCENT explores some moneymaking options.

When Megan’s children have saved enough money, she’ll take them to open a bank account. “Fostering financial literacy through age-specific savings initiatives from a young age is crucial,” says Lezanne Human, CEO of Investment Product House from FNB. Having a bank account allows children to watch their savings grow, and to understand financial concepts such as interest and compound growth. Ngugi explains that “with compound interest you earn interest on the money you save and on the interest that money earns.” Show children how interest works by offering to add a percentage of their savings to their account, says Human.

A bank account also means children learn how to go about banking, whether this is at the branch, online or through cellphone banking. Talk to children about how it is safer to keep their money in a bank account, says Angelique Ruzicka, editor at Just Money. But also explain that having a debit card means they need to be responsible, and keep financial details and pins a secret.

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Banks offer various products for different age groups and goals. Most banks don’t need parents to be a member to open an account for their children, but for children under 16, the bank will require consent from a parent or guardian. Parents will also need their ID, their children’s birth certificates and proof of residence. The Banks Act of 1990 says that once children turn 16, they can control their bank accounts without consent from a parent or guardian.

They also become liable for the account. So if children have saved up a tidy sum, encourage them to look at moving some of it to a fixed deposit account or an investment.

inflation. But, generally, with higher returns come more risk,” says Ruzicka. When deciding where to invest, speak to a financial advisor. Find out about the costs and fees involved, and when you will be able to access the money.

Help your children keep track of their investments by going through the statements or brochures provided by financial institutions. Ruzicka suggests making it a monthly family event, where you discuss budget, check finances and monitor investments. Turn it into a game by awarding prizes to whoever’s saved the most.

building a business investing “There are a whole host of savings options to consider, including endowments, bonds, shares, educational policies and unit trusts,” says Ruzicka. Get children interested by giving them a choice about where they’d like to invest.

One dad, Chris, says his daughter wanted to invest in something she knew, and chose the National Geographic Kids magazine, which is a publication of Naspers. Chris and his daughter now keep a regular eye on their Naspers investment, and have watched it grow over the years.

The type of investment you choose will depend on your savings goals, how long you can save for, the risk you can take and when you need to access the money, notes Ruzicka. Low risk investments mean you are less likely to lose some or all of your money. But you get less interest, so you’re less likely to beat inflation. If you have more time to invest, and you’re comfortable with some risk, try a riskier investment, such as shares or unit trusts.

“The higher the returns, the more likely you are to beat

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Children can also invest in a small business of their own.

Bruce Wade, from the Entrepreneur Incubator Academy in Cape Town, says that if children work in an area in which they’re naturally talented, they can turn this into a business model that can make money for them. Children with entrepreneurial inclinations will need to draw up a budget, so they can get a clear understanding of the costs of running a company. Items to factor in could include rent, supplies and marketing. Wade advises that children keep a realistic view of their finances, and realise that what they earn belongs to the business. If they reinvest the money back into the business, they can create more opportunities, which they can turn into more money.

However children choose to build their money, understanding how finances work teaches them how to handle their own money. Megan’s children are young, but she hopes that they will learn a sense of responsibility, to have a long-term saving plan and to put money away for their future.

financial phrases for money savvy children • Compound interest Interest earned on the initial amount plus any interest earned • Drawing up a budget Establishing income (money coming in) and costs (money going out) for a set period of time, such as a month • Inflation An increase in the general price of services and goods over a period of time • Investment risk The chance that you may lose some or all of your investment. Less risk usually means a safer investment, but more risk often yields bigger returns.

• Rule of 72 Lets you work out approximately how long it will take you to double your money. Divide 72 by the given interest rate. If this is 12, for example, then it will take six years to double your money.

• Shares When you buy shares you purchase a unit of ownership in a company or asset. This doesn’t give you control in the company, but entitles you to a share of the profits. If the company loses value, so will your shares.

• Using a spreadsheet Lets you use a grid to outline financial data, such as your budget. Electronic versions calculate amounts automatically.

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children’s banking possibilities

online tools • N edbank’s MyMoneyMap helps you manage money, as it allows parents and children to work together to set goals, budget and track savings.

• N edbank’s budget spreadsheet can be downloaded from their website and covers income and expenses for the month.

• Old Mutual’s Budget Tool is a downloadable spreadsheet that allows you to factor in your projected and actual monthly expenses and income.

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ABSA

FNB

Nedbank

Banking options for under 18s

The MegaU is a transactional account, which is debit-card based.

The Fluid Account is a transactional and savings account.

Nedbank 4me is a transactional account with 4saving, 4spending, 4growing and 4good.

What these accounts offer you

Free debit card purchases, airtime top-ups, and there are no monthly fees. Access the account through internet and cellphone banking.

Get free email and SMS notifications, plus earn interest on savings.

No opening balance required, no fees charged on balances R500 and over, and no bank fees charged on card swipes. For balances under R500, there is a R5,80 monthly fee. Earn interest on the savings balance.

Access savings at ATMs, online or on cellphones. Parents with a linked account get extra eBucks.

A R10 opening deposit is required. There are no monthly fees, free initial transactions and thereafter reduced pay-as-you-use pricing.

Nedbank adds R2 per month for transactions into the Save4me account, plus you can support a cause at no extra cost and earn competitive interest rates. Free self-service banking available.

Standard Bank The (sum)¹ account, for children 0–16 years old.

R20 opening balance fee, no monthly management fees and four free electronic transactions per month. A bundle fee of R20 is charged for more than this.

Access the account online or through cellphone banking and buy airtime via cellphone. The Puresave savings account offers between 1,50% and 2,27% interest.

Note: pricing was correct at time of going to print, and may be subject to change.

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resource

grab your bucket!

Fruit picking is a fun activity for families of all ages and a great way for children to learn about where the fruits they eat come from. Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY

In the centre of suburbia lies a farm that offers a rustic reprieve from the rat race. The working farm has a peach orchard, four greenhouse tunnels of organic vegetables, and a handful of sheep and geese that the children can feed. Families are welcome to visit the greenhouses and take a stroll in the orchard to pick their own peaches.

Peaches grow on trees that can grow reasonably tall and younger children might need a boost to get to the fruit.

When picking peaches, make sure that the fruit is ripe. Only choose the ones without any green on them. Holding the peach gently in your hand, twist it lightly without squeezing the fruit and causing it to bruise. The fruit found at the top and outside the trees normally ripens first.

The menu at the Peach Café restaurant changes with the seasons, offering home-cooked meals made with fresh ingredients. The shop sells home-made preserves, honey, chutney, farm eggs and chilli products.

Other reasons to visit The farm is centrally located and close to various entertainment options from movies and bowling to the PWC bike track and Jozi X adventure park.

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When to go Peach picking takes place from mid-October to the end of November. The Peach Café is open from 9am–4pm, Saturday and Sunday and they serve breakfast, brunch and lunch. Booking on weekends is advisable.

Cost People can taste the different varieties of peaches off the trees and only pay for what they take home. They charge R20 per kilogram.

Directions Westminster Rd, Maroeladal; just off Witkoppen Rd in Fourways.

Contact Di or Stig 073 410 2712, camdeboofarm@gmail. com or visit camdeboofarm.co.za

Bananas, apples and pears produce ethylene gas, which accelerates ripening in other fruits.

Lakelands Strawberry Farm Lakelands is situated on the Pienaars River in the east of Pretoria. Visitors are welcome to preorder a delicious

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Camdeboo Farm

picnic hamper to enjoy on the banks of the river and go organic strawberry picking in the summer months.

Strawberry plants are ground-cover plants with lots of leaves so you might need to part the leaves in order to find the ripe fruit. Strawberries are ripe once the fruit has turned a bright red. When picking the tender fruit, grab it at the stem and pull gently. There is a tea garden on the farm where you can enjoy a variety of freshly baked cakes, breads and cookies, as well as breakfast, a light lunch and a Sunday buffet. Teenagers can enjoy horse riding and tractor rides, while toddlers can use the jumping castle and play area.

When to go From 9am to 3pm, Wednesday to Sunday.

The strawberry season starts mid-September, depending on the weather. The tea garden is open all year round.

Cost Parking and entrance is free of charge. A 1 kilogram container will cost you R25, and you pay for the fruit you pick.

Directions Plot 23, off Lynnwood Rd, Tyger Valley Contact Kobus: 082 781 7865 or Sonia: 072 942 5111 or visit lakelands.co.za

Botanists don’t classify strawberries as a true berry, because they have their seeds on the outside rather than on the inside like other berries.

Tangaroa the Strawberry Farm Tangaroa the Strawberry Farm is situated in the small farming community of Skeerpoort, just outside Hartbeespoort. The best time to visit Tangaroa is in the

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out of the farm you can try horseriding, visit the Elephant Sanctuary, Cheetah Centre and Monkey Sanctuary, or take a tour of Van Gaalen’s Cheese Farm (every Wednesday and Saturday). There is a guest house and day spa available at the farm. Guests have access to a swimming pool and a tennis court.

When to go From 9am–4pm, every Saturday and Sunday and public holidays. The season runs from late September to early December dependent on the weather.

Cost Entrance to the farm costs R50 per person.

Lakelands Strawberry Farm

early morning when the strawberries are in plentiful supply, although this is dependent on whether the region has received enough rain. With a keen eye and your container at the ready you can head out in search of the heartshaped fruit that might be hiding under the leaves of the plants. Choose brightly coloured, dry, plump berries as they won’t ripen after they’ve been picked. You can preorder a picnic basket, bring your own basket of goodies or enjoy a meal at the Fraise restaurant (book ahead of time).

Other reasons to visit Children might enjoy watching the antics of the resident geese and ducks, or if you venture

This entitles you to use their facilities or, to pick organically grown strawberries, mulberries and other fruit in season. The strawberries you take from the fields are weighed, and charged according to the going daily rate. When there are no strawberries the entrance fee is altered accordingly. Guest house and spa packages vary.

Directions When entering Hartbeespoort on the R560, drive until you pass Van Gaalen’s Cheese Farm on your right-hand side. Just after the Skeerpoort Primary School (after two speed bumps) you will see a white wall with the Tangaroa logo with the strawberries Contact 012 207 1116, 082 503 5996, info@tangaroa. co.za or visit thestrawberryfarm.co.za

In Greek mythology, it is believed that the wild strawberry has its origins with the Goddess Aphrodite who, after hearing of the death of Adonis, wept to such an extent that her tears fell down to earth as small red hearts.

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Bon-Af Berry Farm

Bon-Af Berry Farm Just 95km from Joburg lies a berry haven that boasts more than 90 cultivars of berries: blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, gooseberries, elderberries and more. You can take a guided tour of the orchard and eat as many berries as you like, as well as fill the container they give you with ripe berries to take home. Berries grow on medium-sized bushes, easily accessed by teenagers and toddlers. When picking the berries, choose only the bright red berries or, if harvesting a different variety, look for berries with firm plumpness. To prevent the fruit from being squashed, you should hold the berry carefully between the thumb and forefinger and pull gently. Ripe berries should come off easily. The tea garden and farm shop sell jams, nuts, dried fruit, frozen berries and various berry-inspired products throughout the year.

Other reasons to visit In winter, children of all ages can take part in the fully hands-on experience of making butter, roasting coffee beans and making their own soap from scratch. Butter making takes place from 7:30am.

When to go From 8am to 5pm, daily. The berry season runs from the end of November to the end of March. Out of season you can still enjoy a farm tour and purchase frozen berries by prior arrangement.

Cost During the berry season entrance is R35 per person and R130 per kilogram of berries that you pick to take home. Hands-on experiences cost R300 per group.

Directions Take the N1 Highway towards Parys. Turn off at the Parys/Sasolburg off-ramp (R59) before the Kroonvaal Toll Gate, turn right at the stop sign and right again at Barrage Rd (first road right). The farm is 400m further down the road Contact 056 811 3966, info@berry-farm.co.za or visit berry-farm.co.za

Blueberries are one of the most antioxidant-rich foods in the world. The blue colour of the berry comes from its polyphenols, which provide most of its antioxidant properties. They’re also known to improve night vision.

Haenertsburg and Magoebaskloof Kiwi Festival The Kiwi Festival takes places in Magoebaskloof at the end of April and includes guided tours of a kiwi fruit farm where you will have the opportunity to pick your own fruit and purchase it by the kilogram. Kiwi fruit is a climbing shrub, which is supported by a trellis system when it is grown on a farm. Kiwis are ripe when they are a little soft and give slightly when you press them. During the tour you will also be able to purchase related food products.

Other reasons to visit The festival includes a cooking competition where participants are given a bag of ingredients (including kiwis) that they need to prepare dishes with, within the allotted two hours. A fun mountain bike race and trail run for the whole family, and a village market with street musicians and children’s entertainment are also on offer.

When to go You are only able to tour the farms during the festival, which runs 27 and 28 April.

Cost The rates for 2014 are still to be confirmed.

Directions Magoebaskloof, Haenertsburg Kiwi fruit contains an Contact Jane: 083 442 7429 or visit the enzyme called actinidin that festival’s Facebook page, facebook.com/ serves as a meat tenderiser. pages/HaenertsburgMagoebaskloof-KiwiFestival/285678808171232

Ficksburg Cherry Festival During the annual cherry festival take a tour of the local farms, enjoy a stroll through the orchards and pick a punnet of the ruby-red fruit. Cherry orchards in the Free State have a rich history, having been around since the days of Jan van Riebeeck’s arrival in South Africa.

There are now approximately 500 hectares of cherry trees in the Eastern Free State. When picking cherries you should wait until the cherries are completely red as the sugar content of the fruit rises dramatically in the last few days of ripening. Pick the fruit with the stems attached and be careful not to tear off the woody fruit spur, which will continue to produce fruit year after year.

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Other reasons to visit The festival offers activities for all ages, from cupcake decorating, face painting and craft sessions to target shooting, cherry pip spitting, a potjiekos competition and the Cherry Jazz Festival.

When to go The annual Ficksburg Cherry Festival takes place 21 to 23 November.

The cherry season occurs from October to November.

Cost The costs of the festival activities vary. Farm tours are from R150 per person occupying a seat.

Directions Take the N5 ramp to the N1/ Ficksburg Cherry Festival Harrismith/Bethlehem/Bloemfontein, and keep right at the fork to continue toward the N5. Turn left onto the R74, then continue onto the R712, turn left onto the R711, and turn left onto the R26 toward Ficksburg Contact 051 933 6486, gavin@cherryfestival.co.za or visit cherryfestival.co.za

The longest spit of a cherry pip in a competition, is 28,51m by Brian Krause from the US. This was at the International Cherry Pit-Spitting Championship at Eau Claire, Michigan in 2003.

Magoebaskloof Berry Festival In the Limpopo Province, in the northern point of the Drakensberg Mountain Range, you will find Magoebaskloof, a forested area with a temperate climate. For two days in the month of February, three farms celebrate blueberries and raspberries.

The public is invited to take part in farm tours, pick berries to their heart’s content and purchase punnets of berries to take home. Berries ripen at different times and can therefore be harvested throughout the season.

Other reasons to visit Each of the hosting farms has an area where guests can enjoy a few hours off, either in the gardens (Kuhestan raspberry and avocado farm), the picnic area (Blueberry Heights blueberry farm) or the restaurant (Cheerio Magoebaskloof Berry Festival Gardens blueberry farm). You can also pop into the Wegraakbosch Organic Cheese Dairy near Cheerio Gardens for a tour and to taste their organic cheese.

Festival activities for 2014 still need to be confirmed. The three hosting farms all have accommodation available.

When to go The festival runs 15 and 16 February in 2014, from 9am to 4pm. The blueberry season is from November to early March, and the raspberry season is from January to early May. People wanting to visit the farms on days outside of the festival can make prior arrangements with the farm owners.

Cost The berry picking tour costs R40 per adult and is free for children under 12. On the tour you can pick and eat as many berries as you like. Additional berries will be available for purchasing.

Directions Magoebaskloof, off the R71 Contact Shahrzad: 082 903 7593, info@kuhestan.co.za or visit berryfestival.co.za

If you aren’t going to eat the fruit you pick straight away avoid washing it. This can lead to it spoiling faster.

fruit picking tips • B efore heading out to a farm, call ahead. The farms are subject to weather conditions and may not have ripe fruit available for picking. Note that they may not have credit card facilities.

• Be sure to wear a hat and sunscreen – you may be in the full sun for a while.

• If you plan to take fruit home, bring a container or cooler box to prevent it from spoiling. A container with a large surface area will prevent bruising.

• Respect the farmers and other fruit pickers by gently picking the fruit and not damaging the plants.

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books

a good read for toddlers Teeny Weeny looks for his Mummy!

By Jannie Ho (Published by Nosy Crow, R76) Teeny Weeny is a little bit worried: he can’t find his mommy anywhere. Still, she can’t have gone far. Perhaps mommy is behind the tree? No, that’s Cat. Is she busy on the playground? No – only Crocodile, Dog and Pig are there.

Perhaps she’s in the house? But it’s only Giraffe, Zebra and Leopard in there. Maybe Mom is sitting behind the wall, but it’s only Bear with a very nice looking ice cream.

Mom’s also not in the tree – there are only birds and Monkey. Is she in the flowers? No, that’s Elephant and Panda. All little readers from the age of one will enjoy pulling the sturdy tabs to help Teeny Weeny in his search, and they will identify with the story’s sweet, happy resolution.

I Love Trucks… and cars and planes and things that go

By Jo Rigg (Published by Priddy Books, R107) This board book is for babies and toddlers and it’s all about trucks, cars, planes and things that go. It features great photographic images of favourite things that move. It is a big format board book with a case-bound cover, which little ones will love to listen to and read-along with. The rhyming text is perfect for toddlers and the book helps them with reading skills, teaches them more about the world and encourages imagination. See tough trucks, such as a container truck, construction vehicles, the tractor on the farm and other “movers”.

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Wipe-clean Playbook: Farm Animals Shapes and Sizes

By Ben Adams and Sarah Pitt (Published by NB Publishers, R90) Children from as young as three years old can have fun with this wipe-clean board book. To assist in improving fine-motor skills, the book has a picture wheel to turn and foldout pages with hidden shapes and sizes of farm animals. On each page is a fun activity; from drawing shapes, recognising numbers, animals and sizes, learning words and making farm animal noises. The illustrations are very vibrant, humorous and fun. Parental guidance is recommended for children from age three, but the book is not suitable for children any younger due to small parts, which may be a choking hazard.

The Game of Shadows

By Hervé Tullet (Published by Phaidon Press, R137) “There’s a noise in the garden. Who could that be? Are there creatures hidden in the bushes? A lost wolf? Let’s go and see.”

With a grown-up’s help, use a torch in the dark and help mysterious shadows come to life. This book is part of a bright and lively series of board books for children from the age of three that works like a game. Tullet published his first book for children in 1994 and has since become one of the world’s most innovative bookmakers. Known in France as “The prince of pre-school books”, Tullet takes the concept of reading to a new level, teaching young minds to think imaginatively, independently and creatively.

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for preschoolers Awkward Aardvark

By Mwalimu and Adrienne Kennaway (Published by Hodder Children’s Books, R89) Aardvark’s snoring keeps the other animals awake night after night. Only when the sun comes up does he get down from the tree, going in search of tasty grubs and crunchy beetles. But something has got to be done. Mongoose decides that he simply will have to annoy Aardvark more than Aardvark annoys him. Mongoose calls on the others for help: the monkeys played in the branches above Aardvark at night, but he always fell asleep again. Not even the lion’s roar or Rhino crashing into the tree, can keep Aardvark awake at night. It is not until the termites get involved that the problem is solved. This is the story of how Aardvark came to sleep during the day and eat termites at night.

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Sam who went to Sea

By Phyllis Root and Axel Scheffler (Published by Walker Books, R102) Sam, the river rat, dreams of going to sea. His neighbours tell him to think of practical matters like fixing his fence, but Sam decides to build his own boat. His neighbours are sceptical, but by spring his boat is ready and Sam sets off.

The neighbours think that that’s the last of Sam, but as they return to their vegetable patches, Sam is skimming over the wild waves, and one day a passing seagull drops a note for the villagers that reads, “Dear friends, please do not worry, I am happy. Love, Sam.” Written in lyrical prose and illustrated in bright bold colours, this book for children, from the age of five, is the story of a river rat that follows his heart and realises his dreams.

Saving the Rhino in the Land of Kachoo

By Tina Scotford and Frans Groenewald (Published by Jacana Media, R81) “In the heart of Africa lies the Land of Kachoo, with vast open plains and deep rivers, too.

Animals roam freely in their wild domain through forests and grasslands and rocky terrain. Big cats and rhino and Thomson’s gazelle, elephant and zebra – they live here as well. The sights and the sounds in the Land of Kachoo are uniquely African and will remain with you. The roar of the lions on a starlit night and the echo of hooves running away in fright or the call of the fish eagle in the African sun are sounds to signal your safari’s begun.” In this tale, a young rhino is saved with the help of his animal friends, the poacher’s gum and the shell of a tortoise.

explore o ur heritage

The Magic of Kirstenbosch

By Donnaleen Coue (Published by TD Harry Advertising, R120) Join Ami, and her best friend, Ziggy, as they embark on a magical journey through one of Cape Town’s most beautiful sites, Kirstenbosch National Botanical Garden. Once in the garden they set up a picnic, and then enjoy playing hide and seek and “I spy”, trying to spot all the different birds. But then Ami hears someone crying. It is a nature fairy called Sihle, and her friend Sally the squirrel is in trouble. Ami and Ziggy manage to save the day and with the help of Sihle, they encounter all of the garden’s secrets, transport to a magical fairy village and learn an important lesson about protecting and caring for our environment.

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books

for preschoolers Pancake Pandemonium

By Anita Pouroulis and Tom Bonson (Published by Digital Leaf, R80) You might say pancakes are little Polly’s favourite treat. Or you might say she’s a little obsessed.

Either way, when mom’s too busy to rustle up her favourite snack, Polly decides to take the initiative; though she ends up wishing that she hadn’t. This is a charming, rhyming-story that’s perfect for any child keen to get off the sidelines and into the thick of things. At the back of the book is an easy recipe for Polly’s Easy-Peasy Pancakes, a hide-and-seek game, a word search puzzle and more. The book also has an interactive app version where children can interact with the characters and make them come alive, narration and a word highlighting option and more.

Visit digitalleaf.co.uk to find out more about the apps.

for early graders

Ranger Adventures: Teeny’s Tale

By Lyn Holland

Britannica Junior: Encyclopedia for Southern Africa Publisher: Mike Jacklin

(Published by Xlibris Corporation, R248) This title is the first read in a series of books with an educational theme based in the Kruger National Park. Rangers Matthew and Luke attend the Skukuza School and here they are able to communicate with the animals. In this first book they are called to deal with Teeny the elephant who insists she wants to go to school to learn her times tables. Meet the special ranger dogs and marvel at the ranger Jeep that can do amazing things. At the back of the book the author shares some facts about elephants such as how elephants live, what they eat, their teeth and tusks, and how they communicate. Matthew and Luke also share general tips on how to care for the environment.

(Published by Jacklin Enterprises, R7 200 for the set of 10) Britannica Junior is a treasure chest of facts.

The 10 volumes introduce young readers to interesting people, places and concepts.

The articles help students think about the world around them, from the ocean depths to the furthest parts of the universe.

Numerous colour photographs, maps and tables keep students engaged and add to their understanding of the contents. The 10 volumes of the Britannica Encyclopedia contain articles on more than 2 300 relevant topics. In the front are clear instructions of how to make the best use of each volume and tips on tracking multiple-name tricky subjects. Order the set from 011 265 4200 or cgouws@jacklinenterprises.com

Monster Stories: Rona Long-teeth Retold by Fran Parnell and illustrated by Sophie Fatus (Published by Barefoot Books, R107) This story originated in Tahiti and is here retold in English, in simple vocabulary, short sentences and with an exciting plot to aid early readers.

Meet Rona Long-Teeth: she sneaks out of her hut at night to gobble up tasty humans. Is there any way to stop her evil habits? Hina is the lovely daughter of Rona. She doesn’t know her mwother is evil, but she is about to find out. Monoi has gone into hiding from Rona, but when he meets her beautiful daughter, and they fall in love, is there any way he can stay safe? Other books in the series include The Feathered Ogre (Italy), Grim, Grunt and Grizzle-Tail (Chile), The Mother of Monsters (South Africa) and The Terrible Chanoo (North America).

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for early graders Build the Human Body

By Richard Walker, Clare Ray, Mark Ruffle and Galia Bernstein (Published by Silver Dolphin, R221) Build the Human Body will teach you about the body’s building blocks, help you build its framework, and show you how to map the organs. Have fun while learning, and see the human body like never before through colourful illustrations, fascinating facts, and by building your very own human skeleton.

The set includes an informative 32-page book plus 66 model pieces that slot together for children ages six and up. Assemble your own 76cm-tall human skeleton; no scissors or glue required.

With this interactive guide, you’ll learn all kinds of fascinating facts about the human body, like why your heart beats 70 times per minute, how your muscles help you run and jump and what protects you against germs and the sun’s harmful rays.

for preteens and teens

Oliver Strange and the Ghosts of Madagascar

By Dianne Hofmeyr (Published by NB Publishers, R130) This is the second book in the series following Oliver Strange’s journeys into the most wild and intriguing places on earth.

This time he travels to Madagascar with Zinzi and their respective parents. Oliver’s father is researching a rare frog found only in the forests of Madagascar: the golden mantella. And Zinzi’s mom is after a lemur: the indri. Oliver and Zinzi discover Madagascar has a history of piracy. Is there something darker and more sinister than frogs or lemurs hidden in the island’s forests and coves? Who is the girl hiding in the forest and who are the men in the pirogues? What is their cargo? Illustrative material in the form of maps, notes and hand-drawn illustrations provide a journallike feel to this adventure story.

Rooftoppers

By Katherine Rundell

Seekers of the Lost Boy

By Taryn Hayes (Published by Naledi, R98) When 12-year-old Simon spots a mysterious, glowing object on the Muizenberg beach one cold winter’s morning, he never imagines that it will change his life. Together with Nic and Kim, his 10-year-old twin siblings, Simon decides to track down the origin of the object. What they discover reveals a family secret, a history they never understood, and the answer to a question they never asked: who is God and does he care about me? The author lives in Cape Town, with her husband, Craig and their four children. Once a high school history and English teacher, she now homeschools her children, and writes stories for teenagers and pre-teens, that contain adventures, intrigue and stories that ask big questions.

about pursuing dreams

(Published by Faber and Faber, R113) Everyone tells Sophie she was orphaned in a shipwreck, but Sophie is convinced her mother also survived. When no one believes her, she sets out to prove them wrong. On the run from the authorities, Sophie finds Matteo and the other rooftoppers – children who live in the sky. In a race across the rooftops of Paris, will they help her find her mother, before it’s too late? This is a beautiful story about pursuing your dreams, written for children between the ages of nine and 11 years old. Rundell was also the author of The Girl Savage, about a young girl that spent most her life on an African farm, but is eventually sent to boarding school in England.

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for preteens and teens Butter

By Erin Lange (Published by Faber and Faber, R107) Butter is the story of a lonely 190kg boy everyone simply calls “Butter”. Worse than being ridiculed for his size at high school, he is simply ignored. Desperate, he pledges to eat himself to death, live on the internet, on New Year’s Eve – and everyone will watch. When he makes this announcement online, he expects pity, insults, or possibly sheer indifference. Instead, his classmates become morbid cheerleaders for his deadly plan. Yet, as their dark encouragement grows, it begins to feel a lot like popularity for Butter. And that feels good. But what happens when Butter reaches his suicide deadline? Readers will be surprised to find themselves identifying with both the bullied... and the bullies. Butter is recommended for children from the age of 12.

Middle School: My Brother is a Big, Fat Liar

By James Patterson and Lisa Papademetriou (Published by Random House, R137) This is the third book in the Middle School series for children between the ages of nine and 11 years old. Georgia Khatchadorian plans to excel at Hills Village Middle School in all the places her troublemaking brother failed. She’s even bet him that she’ll quickly become one of the most popular girls in school. But Rafe left a big mark at HVMS, and no one will give Georgia a chance. Even worse, Rafe has sneakily signed up her band to play at the school dance, and she’s terrified to embarrass herself in front of the “princesses” who run the school and the boy who’s caught her eye. Find out the truth about Rafe Khatchadorian’s sister from the point of view of the hilarious Georgia.

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parenting books The Sixty Minute Grandparent

By Rob Parsons (Published by Hodder & Stoughton, R206) Rob Parsons will help you be the best grandparent you can be - in just one hour. There are many different kinds of grandparents - tired-out or over-eager, super-involved or unsure how to help, unwilling or ever-ready. In this simple book, Parsons will help you reach the common aspiration: to be the best grandparent that you can possibly be. He touches on the baby stage and how to help out without interfering. It gives tips on how to help your own children find their way as parents. The book shows you how to love your grandchildren without spoiling them, when to intervene, and when to keep out of it. It also touches on finding your place within a blended family and becoming invaluable, rather than insufferable, to your daughter-in-law.

The Honest Toddler

By Bunmi Laditan

relax a little

(Published by Orion Publishing, R122) The internet’s most infamous toddler, whose unchecked sense of entitlement and undeniable charm on the Honest Toddler blog and on Twitter, has captivated hundreds of thousands of fans online. Are you a confused parent to a toddler? Are you constantly disappointing the small child in your life? This book can help you become a better servant/parent to the toddler at the heart of your world. You’ll learn about everything from meal preparation (hint: just put the crackers on a plate), play date etiquette (Don’t touch. Just don’t.), to how time-outs make you look like a fool. The book says a firm “no” to fashionable parenting trends and instead embraces the big questions.

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for us stock up the pantr y

Wave

By Sonali Deraniyagala

What Lies Hidden

By Michéle Rowe

Occasion for Loving

By Nadine Gordimer

(Little, Brown and Company, R231) On the morning of 26 December 2004, in Sri Lanka, Sonali Deraniyagala lost her parents, her husband and her two young sons in the tsunami that she miraculously survived. In this frank memoir, she describes those first horrifying moments and her long journey since. She has written an unsentimental, beautifully poised account: as she struggles through the months following the tragedy, furiously clenched against a reality that she cannot face and cannot deny; and then, over the years, as she slowly allows her memory to take her back through the rich and joyous life she’s mourning.

Through this she learns the difficult balance between the reminders of her loss and the need to keep her family with her.

(Published by Penguin SA, R180) When Detective Persephone (Persy) Jonas is forced to work with retired criminal psychologist Dr Marge Labuschagne to solve the murder of a suspected sex offender, suspicion threaten to derail the investigation. Persy believes the killer is her childhood sweetheart, now turned vicious gangster; Marge is sure the answer lies in the victim’s shady past. As the women race against time and their own prejudice to hunt the killer, past and present collide, unearthing long buried secrets and lies.

And as the hunt intensifies they realise they are bound in ways they could never have imagined. Finally faced with a ruthless killer, it seems that the darkest secrets are the ones they are hiding from themselves.

(Published by Bloomsbury Publishing, R143) Jessie and Tom Stilwell keep an open house. Their code is one of people determined to maintain the integrity of personal relations against the distortions of law and society. The impact on the home of Boaz Davis and his wife Ann, arrived from England, and Gideon Shibalo, the Stilwells’ black friend, with whom Ann starts a love affair, is dramatically concurrent with events involving Jessie’s strange relationship with her mother and stepfather and her son from a previous marriage. Telling their story against the background of South Africa in the sixties, Nadine Gordimer speaks with unsurpassed subtlety and poignancy of individuals and the society in which they live.

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Jampacked

By Tina Bester (Published by Quivertree Publications, R225) Cook with the seasons and fill your pantry with mouth-watering relishes, pestos, marinades, rubs and sauces.

Jampacked is crammed with easy, clever ideas for year-round culinary inspiration. The book is divided into two main sections. The first half has recipes for stocking up your pantry with essential sauces, pickles and preserves such as beef stock, plum sauce, chilli and cumin rub, and marinated mushrooms. The second section explores ways to successfully incorporate these into your favourite daily dishes, such as harissa chicken wraps.

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what’s on in november

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see this month.

Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY.

3

FUN FOR CHILDREN – p58

ONLY FOR PARENTS – p63

Boksburg Boeremark This market sells a selection of self-produced, selfgrown, self-baked products from the community for the community.

JPO’s second symphony season Classical music lovers will be spoilt for choice with a feast of piano and violin concertos.

bump, baby & tot in tow – p66

how to help – p67

Bake, listen and create Children can dress up, run, play and create wacky crafts under the supervision of the childminders.

FreeMe Wildlife Rehabilitation Centre Specialised treatment, care and rehabilitation is provided for abandoned and orphaned animals.

SPECIAL EVENTS – p54 Nappy Run Wear a cloth nappy in a creative way and walk, run, stroll or roll in this year’s 5km Nappy Run.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

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SPECIAL EVENTS 1 friday Glenshiel Christmas Fair This Christmas Fair is in aid of the Order of St John.

Stalls selling original items are set up in the magnificent Glenshiel gardens that overlook the suburbs of Westcliff and Zoo Lake. Rest your feet and enjoy a coffee in the tea garden or take a walk around the building designed by Herbert Baker and Frank Fleming. Ends 3 November. Time: 9am–6pm, Friday; 9am–5pm, Saturday; 9am–2pm, Sunday. Venue: Glenshiel, 19 Woolston Rd, Westcliff. Cost: adults R20, children free. Contact: 083 259 4269 or tamara@salleamanger.co.za

2 November – Open day at Michael Mount Waldorf School

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2 saturday Diwali in Mzansi You can take part in dance and art workshops, browse the esoteric products and craft stalls and enjoy traditional Indian food. Don’t forget the glittering fireworks display in the evening.

Time: 10am–11pm. Venue: 1 Fredman Dr, Sandton. Cost: free. Contact: 082 837 4104, diwali@indianspice.co.za or visit facebook.com/DiwaliMzansi Global Diabetes Walk Wear something blue for the 5km walk at the dog park and raise awareness for people and dogs with diabetes. Visit the free testing stations where you can have your blood glucose, blood pressure, eyes and feet checked.

Enjoy the live entertainment and make use of the face painters. Time: registration 8:30am, walk starts 9am. Venue: Walkhaven Dog Park, plot 77, Zwartkop, Muldersdrift.

Cost: adults R50, children R30, dogs R10.

Contact: 011 886 3765, 079 509 6426 or visit diabetessa.co.za Me-Nuts Kids Like2Bike series The fifth and final event in the 2013 series is a cycling activity where the focus is on children having fun on their bikes. Each pre-entry receives a goody bag and a medal. For children 2–12 years old. Time: race starts 8:30am. Venue: Monaghan Farm, Lanseria. Cost: R100.

Contact: 083 326 6721, kirsty@like2bike. co.za or visit like2bike.co.za Open day at Michael Mount Waldorf School Find out more about the school’s approach to education during the talk,

The Green Expo

1

fri Discover environmentally sustainable solutions for homeowners and corporations.

Learn practical methods for lowering your carbon footprint and improve your knowledge during the talks in the speakers’ lounge. Ends 3 November. Time: 10am– 6pm, Friday–Saturday; 10am–5pm, Sunday. Venue: Sandton Convention Centre, 161 Maude St, Sandton. Cost: adults R60, pensioners and children R30. Contact: info@thegreenexpo. co.za or visit thegreenexpo.co.za

and go on a tour of the facilities. Time: 9am. Venue: Michael Mount Waldorf School, Culross Rd, off Main Rd, Bryanston.

Cost: free. Contact: 011 706 6125 or visit michael-mount.co.za Open day at Garden Montessori An opportunity for interested parents to find out more about this Montessori preschool that is situated on a spacious and secure

property in Midrand. Applications for 2014 are open. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Garden Montessori, 53 Garden Rd, Blue Hills. Cost: free. Contact Michelle: 084 277 4409 or Dianne: 083 271 3272 or visit gardenmontessori.co.za

3 sunday Nappy Run Wear a cloth nappy in a creative way and walk, run, stroll or roll in this year’s 5km Nappy Run. All proceeds will be used to purchase nappies for distribution to care centres across the country to provide much-needed incontinence care and comfort for children with disabilities. Time: registration 7am; race starts 9am. Venue: Joburg Zoo, cnr Jan Smuts Ave and Upper Park Dr, Parkview.

Cost: R50, children under 3 free. Contact: 011 452 2774, info@nappyrun.org.za or visit nappyrun.org.za Miniature steam train rides All aboard the miniature steam engine for a gentle ride along the 1km railway track. Also 17 November. Time: 9:30am–4:30pm. Venue: Len Rutter Park, cnr Louis Botha Dr and Golf Club Terrace, Florida Park. Cost: free entry, R5 per ride. Contact: 011 046 9179 or visit rsme.co.za

7 thursday Dainfern College open day This is an informal opportunity to see the school in action and find out what an education at Dainfern College is all about. For parents of

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children in Grade 0–12. Time: 9am–10am.

Venue: Dainfern College, Broadacres Dr, Dainfern. Cost: free. Contact: 011 469 0635, tblyth@dainferncollege.co.za or visit dainferncollege.co.za

8 friday Daredevil Run Men of all ages are encouraged to band together, put on a bright red Speedo and head out in peakhour traffic to raise awareness of testicular and prostate cancer. All ages welcome.

Time: 4pm–7pm. Venue: St Stithians

College, Lyme Park, Sandton. Cost: R100 (includes a red Speedo). For more info: visit daredevilrun.com Sanlam Investments FoodWineDesign Fair 2013 Enjoy this boutique outdoor market featuring lovingly crafted products and freshly prepared food to suit everyone’s tastes. Kick back and relax in the cookout area, equipped with braais, brollies and deck chairs. Ends 10 November. Time: 12pm–10pm, Friday; 10am–10pm, Saturday; 10am–4pm, Sunday. Venue: Rooftop of the Hyde Park Corner Shopping Centre, cnr 6th

Look and Feel Good Expo

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This health, beauty, fitness and wellbeing expo is packed with innovative ideas and products to help you live a healthier, happier life. There are live demonstrations, interactive sessions, free yoga classes, and spa and beauty treatments, cooking demos, fitness shows and more. Ends 10 November.

Time: 11am–6pm, Friday; 9am– 6pm, Saturday; 9am–4pm, Sunday.

Venue: Coca-Cola Dome, cnr Olievenhout Ave and Northumberland Rd, North Riding. Cost: adults R70; senior citizens, students and teenagers R50; children free; parking R20. For more info: visit ifeelgood.co.za

Ave and Jan Smuts Ave, Hyde Park. Cost: R80. Contact: 011 447 3868, info@artlogic. co.za or visit foodwinedesign.co.za

9 saturday Family Advent Fair Get into the spirit of the festive season and browse for Christmas goodies, good reads, homemade food and crafts. Children’s entertainment includes the Hansel and Gretel House, light boats, a traditional puppet theatre and many creative activities. Time: 10am–4pm.

Venue: The Christian Community, 46 Dover St, Ferndale, Randburg. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 789 3083, joburg@ thechristiancommunity.org.za or visit adventfair.co.za

10 sunday Hike in Castle Gorge This is a great hike for first-timers, with an easy ascent past wind-carved stone statues, shady valleys and cool pools. Booking essential. For children 8 years and older. Time: 7:45am–4pm.

Venue: meet at JHC Constantia Office Park, cnr Hendrik Potgieter St and 14th Ave, and then travel in convoy. Cost: adults R40, children free. Contact: 010 590 1903, jhc@ mweb.co.za or visit jhbhiking.co.za Zoo trot This 5km or 10km fun run or walk takes you through the zoo’s tranquil settings.

Time: 7am–10am. Venue: Joburg Zoo, Jan Smuts Ave, Parkview. Cost: R40, children under 3 free. Contact: 011 646 2000 or visit jhbzoo.org.za

10 November – Hike in Castle Gorge

13 wednesday Open day at The Faraway Tree Parents and toddlers can view the school and use the facilities. Enjoy a muffin and juice while your little one plays for the morning. For children 1–4 years old. Time: 9am–2pm.

Venue: The Faraway Tree Educational Play School, 7 Condor Rd, Douglasdale.

Cost: free. Contact: 083 234 4120 or farawaytree@telkomsa.net

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21 thursday

24 sun

Rainbow Rhino Art Expo Have a fun-filled afternoon viewing student’s artworks, bidding at the art auction, trying your luck in the raffle and enjoying children’s entertainment and refreshments. All proceeds go directly to rhino conservation. Time: 2pm–5pm.

Venue: 58 Oaklands Rd, Orchards. Cost: R30, children under 4 years old free.

Contact Mandi: 082 758 1155, mstrikingdesigns@gmail.com or visit kidskingdom.co.za or visit foreverwild.co.za

15 friday Baby and Toddler Show An expo for mothers-to-be, as well as mothers with babies and toddlers. Lollos provides entertainment on Saturday. Also 16 November. Time: from 10am.

Venue: Emerald Resort and Casino, 777 Frikkie Meyer Boulevard, Vanderbijlpark. Cost: R60.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

16 saturday Kairos School of Inquiry introductory talk This event provides prospective parents with an opportunity to meet teachers and current parents. It is also the best way to become familiar with the Kairos School ethos and teaching methodologies. For parents of children in Grade 0–7. Time: 9am–11:30am. Venue: Kairos School of Inquiry, 34 Lurgan Rd, Parkview. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 646 4333, admin@kairosschool.co.za or visit kairosschool.co.za

SA Open Championship A challenge lies ahead for golfers taking part in the 103rd South African Open Championship at the Glendower Golf Club, with its kikuyu fairways incorporating 64 bunkers and water hazards on 11 of the 18 holes. Ends 24 November. Time: from 6am. Venue: 20 Marais Rd, Ekurhuleni. Cost: adults R50–100, pensioners R40, children under 18 R5; R20 per vehicle. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

23 saturday Sisters with Blisters Put on those heels and join this annual 4km or 8km walk aimed at raising awareness of abuse against women and children. Dogs are able to join the 4km walk. Time: 7:30am. Venue: Blue Hills Equestrian Estate, off the R55, Blue Hills. Cost: adults R100, pensioners and children R30. Contact: 011 234 7860, support@fourdmarketing.co.za or visit sisterswithblisters.co.za

24 sunday Christmas with the Johannesburg Hiking Club Join in the fun of searching for Santa and his elf as they holiday at Foothold. Parents must bring a clearly marked, wrapped gift (maximum value R150), which Santa will give to your child. Booking essential. Time: 7:45am.

Venue: meet at JHC Constantia Office Park and then travel in convoy to Foothold, Magaliesburg. Cost: adults R40, children free. Contact: 010 590 1903, jhc@mweb. co.za or visit jhbhiking.co.za Lighting the Tree of Remembrance This day and night Christmas market incorporates a special lighting of the Tree of Remembrance. Remember someone special in your life by hanging a light bulb and writing a special message to them on a wooden tag. Time: 9am–10pm; daytime market: 9am–5pm, every Saturday. Venue: Stonehaven on Vaal, next to Baddrift bridge, Sylviavale Ah, Vaal River, Vanderbijlpark.

Cost: from R50 per bulb and wooden tag.

Contact: 016 982 2951, info@stonehaven. co.za or visit stonehaven.co.za Lonehill Christmas carols Paul Dalisile and Clay Stewart are going to be singing popular Christmas songs at 5:15pm, followed by an interactive audience sing-along with Duane Rockwell. Time: 4pm–8pm. Venue: Lonehill Park and Dam, Calderwood Dr, Lonehill (parking next to the Lonehill Fire Station). Cost: adults R50, children R20. Contact: 011 465 9196, info@lra.org.za or visit lonehill.info Wild Kids open day Enjoy a whimsical day of zip lining, bouncing on trampolines, mountain biking, puzzle solving and more. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Wild Kids Company, 20 Dove Rd, cnr Robin Rd, Benoni Small Farms. Cost: R30 per hour. Contact Adel: 082 066 1964, adel@wildkidscompany.co.za or visit wildkidscompany.co.za

28 thursday International Fashion Sale It’s all about glamour and Christmas at the International Fashion Sale, with a range

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of international and local brands, shoes, clothes, bags, accessories and perfume on sale. Ends 1 December. Time: 10am–9pm.

Venue: Gallagher Convention Centre, 19 Richards Dr, Midrand. Cost: R60. Contact: 011 074 4347/4337, info@theifs.co.za or visit theifs.co.za MamaMagic: The Baby Expo This parenting expo looks after all your parenting needs, from pregnancy all the way to toddlerhood. Find the latest products and get advice from the experts while your little ones enjoy the play areas and the ever-popular Barney shows. Ends 1 December. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue: Coca-Cola Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding. Cost: adults R65, pensioners R50, children under 10 free. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit mamamagic.co.za

28 November – MamaMagic: The Baby Expo

29 friday Carols by starlight Sing Christmas carols to your heart’s content with the Knights of Da Gama Choir and shop for tasty treats, gifts and other items. The evening includes fun rides and shows for the children.

You can bring a new toy to donate to the Thuthuzela Orphanage. Time: market 5pm–9pm; carols 7pm–7:45pm. Venue: Fountain Court, Stoneridge Centre, 1 Stoneridge Dr, cnr Modderfontein Dr and Hereford Rd, Greenstone Park, Edenvale.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 452 5721 or visit stoneridge.co.za

30 saturday A miniature showcase The display of miniatures and dollhouses incorporates a touch of Christmas. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Parkhurst Recreation Centre, cnr 5th Ave and 13th St, Parkhurst. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 787 2340 or miniatures@telkomsa.net SAID’s carols by candlelight Join the Society for Animals In Distress (SAID) for their annual carols by candlelight and night market. There are fun activities for children as well as raffles and competitions.

Bring folding chairs, blankets and picnic baskets. Food is on sale. No pets allowed.

Time: 5pm. Venue: The Paddocks, plot 20, Moerdyk St, Vorna Valley, Midrand. Cost: adults R30, children R20 (including candles and song sheets). Contact: 083 643 9480, animals@animalsindistress.org.za or visit animalsindistress.ws Swingin’ Christmas A unique evening where everyone’s favourite Christmas carols are given a stylish big-band sound starring the fabulous 17-piece Johannesburg Big Band and some of South Africa’s finest vocal talents. Time: 3pm and 8pm. Venue: The Lyric Theatre, Gold Reef City, cnr Gold Reef Rd and Northern Park Way, Ormonde.

Cost: R130–R170. Contact: 011 248 5000 or visit goldreefcity.co.za magazine joburg

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1 November – DIY for children

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Art and Justice Tour Join the curator of the Constitutional Court of South Africa’s art collection for a guided tour.

28 November. Time: 6pm–7:30pm. Venue: The Constitutional Court of South Africa, 1 Hospital St, Braamfontein. Cost: free.

Contact: arts@concourt.org.za Artists under the Sun Browse the exhibition of art and sculpture on the lawns.

1 and 2 November. Time: 9am–4:30pm.

Venue: Zoo Lake, cnr Jan Smuts Ave and Westwold Way, Saxonwold. Cost: free.

Contact: 011 432 1482, artists.aus@mweb. co.za or visit artistsunderthesun.co.za

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Body Worlds and The Cycle of Life Change the way you see yourself at the first anatomical exhibition to display real human bodies. 1–24 November. Time: 9am–5pm.

Venue: The Paddocks at the Kyalami Grand Prix Circuit, Main Rd, Kyalami. Cost: adults R140, pensioners and students R110, children 6–17 years old R90, family ticket (2 adults plus 2 children) R400. Book through webtickets.co.za But Men Do Not See It Justin Fiske has created extraordinary kinetic sculptures from wood, metal, string and pebbles.

He encourages viewers to interrogate the complexities of motion and the mechanics that make this visible. 18 October– 7 December. Time: 8am–4:30pm, Monday– Friday; 9am–1pm, Saturday. Venue:

Standard Bank Gallery, cnr Simmonds St and Frederick St, Joburg CBD. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 631 4467, sue.isaac@standardbank.co.za or visit standardbankarts.co.za Musik + X This interactive, multimedia exhibition introduces you to contemporary pop, hip-hop, indie and techno music from Germany in a fun, interactive way. For children 12 years and older.

Ends 18 November. Time: 9am–5pm.

Venue: Museum Africa, 121 Bree St, Newtown. Cost: free entry. Contact: exu@ johannesburg.goethe.org Off the Beaten Path Visit this international exhibition in which artists explore the global ramifications of gender-based violence. It includes pieces by Yoko Ono, Maria Campos-Pons, Louise Bourgeois and more. Ends 16 November. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Johannesburg Art Gallery, King George St, Joubert Park. Cost: free. Contact: 011 725 3180 or tinym@ joburg.org.za Who’s afraid of Irma Stern? A contemporary exhibition by Marina Louw, celebrating the life and work of Irma Stern. Marina has reinterpreted a number of Irma’s iconic paintings in her own style. 20 November–5 December.

Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Upstairs @ Bamboo, cnr 9th St and Rustenburg Rd, Melville. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 784 6695, dana@16halifaxart.co.za or visit bamboo-online.co.za

classes, talks and workshops Confident Kidz workshop Healthy selfesteem is a child’s armour against the challenges of the world. This workshop, facilitated by clinical psychologist Joanna Kleovoulou, is designed to build confidence in your child. For children 8–13 years old. 9 November. Time: 9am–5pm.

Venue: Psychmatters Family Therapy Centre, 9 Park St, Bedfordview. Cost: R2 000 (plus tea and lunch). Contact: 011 450 3576, info@psychmatters.co.za or visit psychmatters.co.za DIY for children Under the supervision of the instructors, children learn how to tackle DIY projects. No experience necessary.

Booking essential. For children 5–13 years old.

1 November: tin can lanterns; 8 November: popsicle box planter; 15 November: wooden airplane; 22 November: cork frames; 28 November: bird feeder; 29 November: wooden Christmas tree. Time: 3pm–5pm.

Venue: Tool Share Studio, unit 6, Ferndale Commercial Park, cnr Hylauma St and Struik St, Randburg. Cost: R350. Contact: 011 791 7790 or visit toolshare.co.za Drugs and alcohol abuse Educate your children on drug and alcohol abuse. For children 10 years and older. 9 November.

Time: 10–12 years old: 9am–10am, 13 years and older: 10:30am–11:30am. Venue: The Academy of Light, 160 Coleraine Dr, Rivonia, Morningside. Cost: R100. Contact: 083 677 1402, madpupssa@gmail.com or visit madpups.co.za

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3, 10, 17 and 24 November – Melville Koppies guided tour

NCT’s workshops The theatre teaches children about live theatre, both on stage and behind the scenes. Booking essential. For children 7–17 years old. Theatre workshops: 5 October– 30 November; mechanics behind theatre effects: 12 October–30 November. Time: theatre workshops: 9am–12pm; mechanics behind theatre effects: 12:30pm–1:30pm, every Saturday. Venue: National Children’s Theatre, 3 Junction Ave, Parktown. Cost: R800 for eight sessions. Contact: 011 484 1584, cindy@nctt.org.za or visit nationalchildrenstheatre.org.za

family outings Magaliesburg Express Chug along from Joburg to the quiet town of Magaliesburg aboard a steam locomotive. On arrival, you have the option of enjoying a picnic or

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braai on the lawns and visiting the nearby Magaliesburg Goods Shed. 2 November.

Time: 8:30am–5:30pm. Venue: platform 14, Johannesburg Park Station, Rissik St, Joburg CBD. Cost: adults R250, children R165, children under 4 free. Contact: 011 888 1154, bookings@reefsteamers.com or visit reefsteamers.com Photo & Film Expo Africa’s largest photographic and film expo offers novice and advanced photographers’ workshops to refine or build on their skills; and the latest gadgets, software and techniques.

31 October–3 November. Time: 9am– 6pm. Venue: Coca-Cola Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding. Cost: adults R80, pensioners and children R40, weekend pass R200. For more info: visit photofilm.co.za

Frogs in the garden Join the Frog Lady of Gauteng, Ella Roberts, for a walk around the gardens looking for frogs. Booking essential. 2, 16 and 30 November. Time: 8am. Venue: meet at the main entrance to the Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden, end of Malcolm Rd, Poortview, Roodepoort. Cost: WSNBG members: adults R30, children R15; non-members: adults R60, children R30. Contact Karen: botsoc@sisulugarden.co.za

Melville Koppies guided tour Learn about grassland flora and fauna, geology, archaeology and history while on a threehour guided tour of the Melville Koppies.

For children 6 years and older. 3, 10, 17 and 24 November. Time: 3 and 17 November: 3pm; 10 and 24 November: 8:30am. Venue: park opposite Marks Park Sports Club, Judith Rd, Emmarentia. Cost: adults R40, children R10. Contact: 011 482 4797 or visit mk.org.za

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finding nature and outdoor play Beechwood Garden’s open day The immaculate 3,5-acre garden was designed by landscape architect Joane Pim in 1945.

The garden has a copper beech and water oak tree, ponds and a rose and vegetable garden. Pathways throughout the garden make it suitable for wheelchair access. 31 October–3 November; 22 and 23 November.

Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Beechwood Gardens, 23 Christopherson St, Hyde Park.

Cost: adults R50, children free. Contact: 082 746 8647, tosteven@beechwoodgardens. co.za or visit beechwoodgardens.co.za

Le Petit Morning Market An old-fashioned farmer’s market that sells produce from local farmers: jams, vegetables, cakes, koeksisters, eggs, boerewors and more. You will also find art and crafts, and books. There is a slide and swing set that the children can enjoy as you sit down to a hearty breakfast. Also 16 and 30 November. Time: 7am–12pm.

Venue: 37 Birch Rd, Petit, Benoni. Cost: free entry. Contact Nick: 074 633 7759 or differentscreen@gmail.com

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29 November – Godfirst Rosebank Christmas Market

markets Antique Fair If you visit the upper and lower level of the quiet section of the mall you will find 70 antique dealers who will help you find that perfect piece. The fair takes place on the first Sunday of every month. 3 November. Time: 9am–4pm.

Venue: Nelson Mandela Square, cnr Maude St and 5th St, Sandton. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 217 6001 or visit nelsonmandelasquare.co.za Baby Bargains Market Find quality, pre-loved baby and toddler products at affordable prices. 2 November. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Loving Moments, 140 Forest Rd, Benoni Agricultural Holdings.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 076 158 8448, rene@babybargainsmarket.co.za or visit babybargainsmarket.co.za Blubird Wholefood Market Meet the chefs, bakers and micro farmers as you taste your way from stall to stall. There is Tino, who makes fresh pasta while you wait; Janine, the French baker with her croissants filled with marzipan and chocolate; and Elsa, the Ethiopian chef with plates of exotic flavours, to name a few. Time: 9am–2pm, every Sunday. Venue: Blubird Shopping Centre, Athol Oaklands Rd, off Corlett Dr, Birnam. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 311 4768 or wholefoodmarket@gmail.com Boksburg Boeremark This market sells a selection of self-produced, self-grown, self-baked products from the community for the community. There is a food court where you can enjoy homemade pies, vetkoek and mince, pap en kaiings, potato twisters, pancake, ice cream and Italian coffee. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday.

Venue: 195 Madeley St, Dayanglen, Boksburg. Cost: R5 per vehicle. Contact: boksburgboeremark@gmail.com or visit facebook.com/BoksburgBoeremark Brescia Christmas Market A lively market with a beer garden and 70 stalls of fresh produce, handcrafted goods, and wholesome food. Childcare will be run by the matric dance committee. 1 and 2 November. Time: 5pm till late, Friday; 10am–4pm, Saturday. Venue: Brescia House School, 14 Sloane St, Bryanston.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 706 7404 or visit brescia.co.za

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Fourways Farmers Market Bring the whole family to enjoy a hay bale picnic.

You can make your way from stall to stall, tasting and purchasing the gourmet dishes, and then claim a spot on a hay bale in front of the stage so that you can enjoy the live music and let the children loose in the play area. Time: 9am–3pm, every Sunday.

Venue: Earth Outdoor Living Nursery, cnr Montecasino Boulevard and William Nicol Dr, Fourways. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 465 5276, info@ffmarket.co.za or visit ffmarket.co.za Godfirst Rosebank Christmas Market This is an opportunity for the local community to showcase their creative talents. Go in search of art, crafts and food, and enjoy the live music. 29 November.

Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: Godfirst Rosebank, cnr 1st West and 11th Ave, Parktown North.

Cost: free. Contact: 082 559 4086 or visit godfirst.co.za Magical Moonlight Markets In the run up to Christmas the Bryanston Organic and Natural Market is once again open every Tuesday evening. Shop for quality products and stocking fillers and enjoy the evening’s entertainment. 12 November– 17 December. Time: 5pm–9pm, every Tuesday; daytime market: 9am–3pm, every Thursday and Saturday. Venue: 40 Culross Rd, Bryanston. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 011 706 3671, enquiries@ bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za or visit bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za Moonlight Market at the Italian Club This night market offers stalls selling food, jewellery, toys, embroidered goodies and art and crafts as well as offers a children’s play area, a jumping castle and live entertainment. 1 and 29 November.

Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: Italian Club, 7 Marais Rd, Bedfordview. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 011 453 0587, 073 857 0071 or info@mi-amor.co.za Out of the Box and 305 Christmas Fair Find Christmas gifts, stocking fillers and handmade goodies. Donations towards their Christmas drive are welcome. 30 November–1 December. Time: 10am–4pm.

Venue: 305 Long Ave, Ferndale. Contact: 011 673 6592, nina@outofthebox.org.za or visit outofthebox.org.za Parkview Christmas Market Experience a Christmas wonderland with entertainment

Boksburg Boeremark

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30 October–29 December – Janice Honeyman’s Aladdin

by local artists, over 70 craft stalls, and a variety of activities for young and old.

Proceeds from the market will be donated to Nicarela Charity. 29 November–2 December. Time: 3pm–10pm, Friday; 10am–10pm, Saturday; 10:30am–4pm, Sunday. Venue: George Hay Park, 45 Lurgan Rd, Parkview. Cost: adults R40, children free. Contact: 082 450 4599, kmcarthur@ telkomsa.net or visit nicarela.org.za

on stage and screen Disney’s Cinderella Kids You will be reminded that dreams really do come true with the story of poor Cinderella, who is denied a chance to go to the royal ball. But with a little help from her mice friends and her fairy godmother, Cinderella goes to the ball and meets the prince. Booking essential.

4 November–24 December. Time: during government school terms: 9am and 11am, Monday–Friday; during government school holidays, Saturdays, public holidays and certain Sundays: 10:30am and 2:30pm.

Venue: People’s Theatre, Joburg Theatre Complex, cnr Loveday Rd and Hoofd St, Braamfontein. Cost: members: adults R90, children R70; public R105; membership R90. Contact: 011 403 1563/2340 or visit peoplestheatre.co.za Janice Honeyman’s Aladdin Her production is steeped in magic, full of wonder and packed with surprises. Evil Abanazar (Jeremy Mansfield) wants the magic lamp, Widow Twankey wants a husband, Aladdin wants adventure and Wishee Washee wants a clean vest – can the genie of the lamp grant their wishes? 30 October–29 December. Time: varies. Venue: Joburg Theatre, 163 Civic Boulevard, Braamfontein. Cost: R180– R290. Book through the Joburg Theatre: 0861 670 670 or visit joburgtheatre.com Kidz Rock This production pays tribute to the teen sensations and pop icons of the music world: One Direction, Justin Bieber, Bruno Mars, Carly Rae Jepsen, Miley Cyrus, and more. 2 November. Time: 2pm, doors open at 12:30pm. Venue: Barnyard Theatre Cresta, Cresta Shopping Centre, Beyers Naudé Dr, Randburg. Cost: R85. Contact: 011 478 5300 or visit barnyardtheatres.co.za Little Eden’s Christmas concert The residents of Little Eden, a home for people with intellectual disabilities, perform a Christmas concert around the theme of The Rainbow. This is an opportunity for residents to show donors and supporters magazine joburg

the impact of stimulation. You are able to view the facilities and purchase items at the morning market after the concert. 22 and 23 November. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: Little Eden, Domitilla and Danny Hyams Home, 39 Harris Ave, Edenvale. Cost: free entry, donations are welcome. Contact: 011 609 7246, marketing@littleeden.org. za or visit littleeden.org.za Radha in Bollyland Students from the Nataka Dance Company present a colourful dance skit incorporating all that they have learnt throughout the year. For students 4–13 years old. Space is limited.

23 November. Time: 6pm. Venue: The Dance Café, 173 Main Rd, Bryanston.

Cost: table seat R120, non-table seat R80 (vegetarian meal included). Contact Ezra: 084 808 6219 or ezra@nataka.co.za Seussical Jr A magical, music extravaganza that brings to life the famous stories by Dr Seuss. The story centres around Horton the elephant, as he finds himself having to protect his tiny friend, JoJo the Who, and all the other Whos of Whoville. Booking essential. 4 November–22 December.

Time: during the public school term: 9am and 11am, Monday–Saturday, during the public school holidays: 10:30am and 2:30pm, Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: National Children’s Theatre, 3 Junction Ave, Parktown.

Cost: chairs R110, cushions R90. Contact: 011 484 1584, bookings@nctt.org.za or visit nationalchildrenstheatre.org.za Standing Ovation This musical by the Stageworx School of Performing Arts tells the hilarious story of Violet Boreguard, who is searching for a new act to save the local theatre. Unfortunately, there is a pesky ghost that wants to interfere with her plans. Written by Gemma Donnelly and the senior students of Stageworx School. 17 November. Time: 4pm. Venue: Roodepoort Theatre Main Auditorium,

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calendar 100 Christiaan de Wet Rd, Florida Park, Roodepoort. Cost: tbc. Contact: jo@ stageworx.co.za or visit promusica.co.za

playtime and story time Fun and games at Kinder Theatre In November, interactive puppet shows teach children the letters of the alphabet, take them on a safari with Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, and try to keep a dragon in a castle. Children older than 5 can learn to play chess on Wednesdays.

For children 3 years and older. Time: puppet shows: 3:30pm, every Tuesday and 10am, every Saturday; chess: 4pm,

31 October–1 November – Halloween Fun at Yeesh!

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every Wednesday. Venue: Kinderspiel, 39 Greenhill Rd, Emmarentia. Cost: R50.

Contact: 011 646 0870 or kinderspiel@ telkomsa.net Halloween Fun at Yeesh! Ghouls, ghosts and fairies are coming out to play at 3:30pm when they celebrate Halloween with a fun treasure hunt and a bestdressed competition. This is an indoor play centre with slides, a trampoline, jumping castle and soft-play obstacles. For children 3–8 years old. 31 October and 1 November. Time: 9am–5pm. Venues: Yeesh!, 5 Main Rd, Bryanston; Woodmead Commercial Park, Waterfall Crescent, Woodmead. Cost: R75 flat rate. Contact: 011 463 5847, 011 656 9669, info@yeesh. co.za or visit yeesh.co.za NCT’s story time The National Children’s Theatre teaches children storytelling, acting, movement, interpretation, music appreciation and rhythm while expanding their vocabulary and teaching them to appreciate great children’s stories from literature. Space is limited. For children 4–7 years old. 12 October–30 November.

Time: 9am–10am. Venue: story room at the National Children’s Theatre, 3 Junction Ave, Parktown. Cost: R250 per term (eight sessions). Contact: 011 484 1584, cindy@nctt.org.za or visit nationalchildrenstheatre.org.za Story time at Reader’s Warehouse Meet your favourite characters, listen to stories, take part in various activities and

2 November – Hiking with your pooch

stand a chance to win some prizes. Spot the Dog and Peter Rabbit are going to be visiting the Broadacres branch, while children in the Randburg and Norwood branches can enjoy activities and a reading of Hugless Douglas. 24 November: Norwood; 30 November: Broadacres and Randburg. Time: 10:30am–11:30am.

Venue: Reader’s Warehouse at Randburg Lifestyle Garden Centre, Broadacres Lifestyle Centre and Norwood Mall. Cost: free. Contact Randburg: 011 792 3499; Broadacres: 011 467 0390; Norwood: 011 483 0737 or visit readerswarehouse.co.za

sport and physical activities Children’s meditation class Classes help to develop and nurture the positive qualities

in children through meditation and positive thinking. Draw out your child’s inner peace with fun activities, games and art based on Buddhist philosophies. No need to book.

For children 5–12 years old. 3 November.

Time: 9:30am–10:45am. Venue: Vajrapani Kadampa Buddhist Centre, 4 Francis Rd, Blairgowrie. Cost: R15 per child. Contact: 011 326 1982, info@meditation.org.za or visit meditation.org.za Hiking with your pooch Bring your socialised dog on this moderate hike around the Melville Koppies. No booking required. For children 6 years and older.

2 November. Time: 8am. Venue: end of Arundel Rd, Westdene. Cost: R20 per person. Contact: 011 482 4797 or visit mk.org.za

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Meditation for all Every Sunday, during an hour-long meditation, you can align your chakras and keep yourself and your children in balance. All ages.

Time: 8am–9am, every Sunday. Venue: The Core Shopping Centre, Leeuwkop Rd, Sunninghill. Cost: free. Contact: 079 136 0040, sandtonmeditation@gmail.com or visit freemeditation.com

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Courses with Domestic Bliss Have your domestic worker trained on an accredited programme that covers all aspects of housekeeping to ensure the smooth running of your home. The courses each take place over five weekly sessions. Household management: 5 November; cooking: 6 November; childcare: 7 November. Time: 8:30am–2pm. Venue: Domestic Bliss, 235 Jan Smuts Ave, Parktown North. Cost: household management and childcare course: R1 950; cooking course: R2 250.

Contact: 011 447 5517, 083 525 4992 or visit domesticbliss.co.za Expectant parents seminar An informative seminar for parents expecting to give birth to multiples. Parents can learn more about prematurity, the NICU, breastfeeding, and get practical tips. Bookings need to be made by 28 October as space is limited. 2 November. Time: 8am–5pm.

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Venue: Midrand. Cost: SAMBA members R250, non-members R300. Contact: 082 898 3608 or visit samultiplebirth.co.za Getting ready for Christmas Joan Launspach demonstrates her wonderful ideas for inexpensive, creative gifts for Christmas. 2–9 November. Time: 10am.

Venue: Ngwenya Glass Village, off Beyers Naudé Dr and R114, Muldersdrift. Cost: R80 (includes tea/coffee and cake).

Contact: 083 285 8383 Left-hand learning workshop Covers the challenges that left-handed users face daily and offers a few solutions to overcome them. 2 November. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: unit 5B, Clearview Office Park, 77 Wilhelmina St, Constantia Kloof. Cost: R250. Contact: 083 417 3316, tracy@lefthandlearning.co.za or visit lefthandlearning.co.za Montessori information session Find out more about the Montessori training courses offered in 2014. Part-time and distance learning options are available.

16 November. Time: 8:30am–9:30am. Venue: Buccleuch Montessori School, 35 Muller St North, Buccleuch, Sandton. Cost: free.

Contact: 082 900 3192, info@montessorisa. co.za or visit montessorisa.co.za South African wine course This comprehensive wine course covers wine styles; how wine affects the taste of food; vineyard and winemaking practices and how they contribute to making a quality wine. There will also be a tutored tasting.

23 November. Time: 6:30pm–9pm. Venue: Monte Casino Southern Sun Hotel, cnr Montecasino Boulevard and William Nicol Dr, Fourways. Cost: R1 195. Contact: 011 024 3616, lerato@capewineacademy.co.za or visit capewineacademy.co.za START workshop for parents This fiveday course, developed by the Sunshine Association, is for parents and people with an educational level below Level 4.

It enables you to identify developmental delays in children (0–7 years old) and show you how to take care of and work with them. 4–8 November. Time: 8:30am–3pm.

Venue: TMI Building, 3rd floor, Joubert St Ext, Braamfontein. Cost: R2 500. Contact: 011 642 2005, training@sunshine.org.za or visit sunshine.org.za The Antikythera Mechanism In 1900, divers discovered a strange instrument in a shipwreck off the island of Antikythera.

After years of investigation, the secrets of this instrument are unravelled. Join Prof Smits, head of the astronomy section of the Department of Mathematical Sciences at Unisa, for a talk. Booking essential.

1 November. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Eagles Fare Restaurant at Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden, Poortview, Roodepoort.

Cost: R135 (includes a two-course dinner).

Contact: 082 671 8382/7, 083 414 9843 or visit eaglesfare.co.za The importance of reading to your child Join Jo Allais for a discussion on the role reading plays in your child’s

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Liqueur and wine making workshop A list of ingredients will be given to the participants so that they can create their own liqueur and wine.

Bring a garden chair, hat, notepad and pen. Booking essential.

16 November. Time: 2pm. Venue: The Herb and Indigenous Plant Guild, 161 Rienert Ave, Kempton Park West. Cost: members R30, visitors R35 (includes refreshments).

Contact: 011 393 3427, 076 265 4948 (office hours only) or patsyspotions@vergeer.co.za

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calendar development. You will learn how to choose the best books for your child and how to help your child develop a love for reading.

Booking essential. 6 November. Time: 2pm–3:30pm. Venue: Family and Child Centre, 4 Jack St, Robinhills. Cost: R150.

Contact: 011 782 5790 (mornings only) or tinaotte@telkomsa.net Tiny Bite workshops During hands-on workshops you learn to decorate hanging biscuits like a pro, make a parcel cake and top it off with festive figurines, and make a variety of Christmas-themed cupcakes. Booking essential as space is limited. Biscuit decorating: 8, 9 and 16 November; cake decorating: 15 November; Christmas cupcakes: 22 November. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: Tiny Bite, Sandton.

Cost: R350. Contact: 082 927 9763, allison@tinybite.co.za or visit tinybite.co.za Toy Talk 2013 Find out what toys and games are trending this year, and see, touch and feel before you buy. The talk will be presented by author Nikki Bush, and drama teacher Justine Heydra.

Booking essential. For parents of children from birth–12 years old. 12–14 November.

Time: 6pm, Tuesday and Thursday; 9am and 6pm, Wednesday. Venue: Bryanston Country Club, 63 Bryanston Dr, Bryanston. Cost: R220 (includes light refreshments). Contact: 083 260 8792 or info@toytalk.co.za Vredefort Dome talk Attend an illustrative talk by geology specialist Tony Bloomer on the Vredefort Dome. Booking essential. 9 November. Time: 9am. Venue: meet at the Nestlé Environmental Education Centre at the Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden, end of Malcolm Rd, Poortview, Roodepoort. Cost: members: adults R30, children R15; non-members: adults R60, children R30. Contact: botsoc@ sisulugarden.co.za

on stage and screen A Christmas Concert Join the BTE VO1SS, previously known as the Black Tie Ensemble, for their annual Christmas concert that will enthral audience members of all ages. Doors open at 7pm. 29 November.

Time: 8pm. Venue: Linder Auditorium, St Andrews Rd, Parktown. Cost: R100–R150.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

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15 November–5 January – Willy Russell’s Blood Brothers

A South African Story Johnny Clegg tells the story of his life through music in a repeat performance of one he gave at the Royal Albert Hall in the UK earlier this year. 29 November–1 December. Time: 8pm. Venue: The Teatro at Montecasino, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: R262–R415. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com An Evening of Upbeat Afropop It’s been 10 years since Freshlyground launched their debut album Jika Jika. Their five albums have achieved multi-platinum sales and secured worldwide performances.

The supporting act is Tembisa Revolution.

30 November and 1 December. Time: 8pm, Saturday; 3pm, Sunday. Venue: Emperors Palace, 64 Jones Rd, Kempton Park. Cost: R175 per person. Book through the Emperors Palace box office: 011 928 1297/1213 or visit emperorspalace.co.za Jéróme and Jéróme The Percy Baneshik Memorial Concert features the exceptional duo of Jéróme Pernoo on cello and Jéróme Ducros on piano. 23 November.

Time: 8pm. Venue: Linder Auditorium, St Andrews Rd, Parktown. Cost: R130–R155.

Contact: 011 728 5492, 083 228 2917 or visit jms.org.za JPO’s second symphony season Classical music lovers will be spoilt for choice with a feast of piano and violin concertos ranging from Rachmaninov to Rossini, from Mendelssohn to Mozart and Saint-Saëns to Sibelius. Tickets can be purchased at the door. 9 October–14 November. Time: 8pm, every Wednesday and Thursday; pre-concert talks 7:15pm. Venue: Linder Auditorium, 27 St Andrews Rd, Parktown. Cost: R225–R300.

Contact: 011 789 2733, info@jpo.co.za or visit jpo.co.za

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Long Walk to Freedom See the premiere of the film adaptation of Nelson Mandela’s autobiography produced by Anant Singh and starring Idris Elba as Mandela. 28 November.

Time: varies. Venue: cinemas nationwide.

Cost: varies per cinema. Contact: 082 16789 or visit sterkinekor.com My Name is Luka American folk singer and songwriter Suzanne Vega brings her special style of music to the Teatro for one night only. 3 November. Time: 6pm. Venue: The Teatro at Montecasino, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: R200–R650. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com To Kill a Koeksister Everyone is a suspect in this hilarious murder mystery performed by comedian Andrew Simpson, including the members of the audience. 19 November– 8 December. Time: 8:15pm, Tuesday– Saturday; 3pm, Sunday. Venue: The Fringe Theatre at the Joburg Theatre Complex, 163 Civic Boulevard, Braamfontein. Cost: R150. Book through the Joburg Theatre: 0861 670 670 or visit joburgtheatre.com Willy Russell’s Blood Brothers David Kramer has adapted Willy Russell’s acclaimed West End musical for the South African stage, adding a distinctly local

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Opera sensation Pretty Yende The internationally acclaimed South African soprano, Pretty Yende, is set to captivate opera lovers with her performance of Rossini, Bellini, Gounod, Bernstein (West Side Story), Balfe and Gimenez. 14 November.

Time: 8pm. Venue: The Teatro at Montecasino, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways.

Cost: R200–R400. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

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flavour. Blood Brothers is the story of two brothers who were separated at birth because of their mother’s financial situation, but brought together again by chance.

15 November–5 January. Time: 8pm, Wednesday–Saturday; 4:30pm, Saturday; 2:30pm and 6pm, Sunday. Venue: Pieter Toerien’s Montecasino Theatre, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways.

Cost: R100–R280. Contact: 011 511 1818 or visit montecasino.co.za

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out and about Business breakfast with governor Gill Marcus Support Joburg Child Welfare and book your seat at the breakfast table with guest speaker Gill Marcus, governor of the South African Reserve Bank. 22 November. Time: 7:30am–10am. Venue: Villa Arcadia (Hollard), 22 Oxford Rd, Parktown. Cost: R350. Contact: 011 298 8500, pr@jhbchildwelfare.org.za or visit jhbchildwelfare.org.za Cake Alchemy Try this decadent food and beverage pairing that combines the taste and textures of cake with the finest whiskies, ports and cognacs. Bookings essential. 18 years and older. 7 November.

Time: 6:30pm–8:30pm. Venue: Annica’s Boutique Restaurant, Michelangelo Towers Mall, Maude St, Sandton. Cost: R265.

Contact: 011 884 9445, info@annicas. co.za or visit annicas.co.za Chantilly Networking forum This is a chance for solopreneurs to mix and mingle.

There will be a talk by transformational facilitator Sarah-Jane Farrell, as well as dinner and entertainment. 6 November. Time: 6:30pm. Venue: Rustika Guest Lodge, Rustic Timber, cnr Witkoppen Rd and Kingfisher St. Fourways. Cost: R220. Contact: 082 653 5128 or sheil@chantillynetworking.co.za Craft Revolution A craft beer and street food extravaganza showcases the talent of local brewers and distillers.

There is entertainment and activities for the children and live entertainment.

2 November. Time: 11am–7pm. Venue: Emerald Resort and Casino, 777 Frikkie Meyer Boulevard, Vanderbijlpark. Cost: entrance fee R50, castros R5 each. For more info: visit itickets.co.za Designer Dogs annual golf day Proceeds from a competitive day of driving, putting and chipping on the

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Lipizzaner masked ball This is an evening of dinner and dancing in aid of the South African Lipizzaners. The dress code is black tie and a mask. Booking essential. 9 November. Time: 7pm. Venue: Lipizzaner Centre, Kyalami Equestrian Park, 1 Dahlia Rd, Kyalami. Cost: R750. Contact: 083 601 2104, tarragon@mweb.co.za or visit lipizzaners.co.za

greens will go towards various animal charities that are in need, including the Namaqua Dog and Donkey Foundation (NDDF), Petsave and PETS. NDDF and PETS focus on the sterilisation, vaccination and basic healthcare of domestic animals in disadvantaged communities. 1 November.

Time: 11:30am. Venue: Wanderers Golf Club, Illovo, Sandton. Cost: R2 600 per four-ball (includes a starter pack, goody bag and light dinner). Contact: 082 461 1606 or designerdogs@worldonline.co.za Skeletons in the closet Join Patrick Randolph-Quinney and Brendon Billings for a fun murder mystery evening. You will pretend to be part of the Maropeng forensic team and analyse the skeletonised remains of two bodies that were found in a new housing development. Booking essential. 9 November. Time: 4pm. Venue: The Tumulus Building, Maropeng, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R375 (includes a buffet dinner). Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za The Stargazers Vincent Nettmann provides an interesting look at the role of astronomy in the development of the human mind and what we have learnt about the starry skies during this process.

The talk will feature exquisite Hubble Space Telescope images. Booking essential.

2 November. Time: 6pm. Venue: Maropeng Boutique Hotel, Cradle of Humankind.

Cost: R350 per person. Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za Whisky Live festival Taste unique and valuable whiskies and learn more about this popular distilled beverage during the interactive, informative workshops taking place upstairs in the committee rooms. No persons under 18 years. 6–8 November. Time: 6pm–10pm. Venue: Sandton Convention Centre, Sandton.

Cost: R195–R240. For more info: visit whiskylivefestival.co.za Wine and food evening Bring friends and family for an enjoyable evening that focuses on the combination of wine and food, highlighting its effect on taste. Booking essential. For people 18 years and older.

28 November. Time: 6:30pm–9:30pm.

Venue: Cape Wine Academy, 24 Kelvin Rd, Bramley. Cost: R395. Contact Busi: 011 024 3616, busi@capewineacademy.co.za or visit capewineacademy.co.za

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support groups Lifestyle Enrichment support group A support group for parents trying to maintain a balanced lifestyle while juggling the demands of family and work. Dates and times vary. Venue: Parkmore, Sandton.

Cost: R50. Contact: 083 256 4392 or zoe@ optima-perform.co.za Single parents support group A social club for single parents and their children that meets and joins in various activities once a month. 23 November. Time: 1pm.

Venue: varies. Cost: free membership.

Contact Jean-Marie: 076 054 5510 or visit soloparenting.weebly.com The Compassionate Friends They offer counselling and outreach programmes for bereaved parents and siblings. Contact: 011 440 6322, tcfsa@mweb.co.za or visit tcfjhb.wordpress.com The South African Depression and Anxiety Group Sadag can refer you to a psychologist, psychiatrist or support group in your area. Contact: 0800 205 026, 011 262 6396 or visit sadag.org

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Active Mommies Classes for moms and babies (6 weeks and older) that are designed specifically for getting back into shape after having a baby.

Time: Lonehill: 3pm, every Wednesday; 9:30am, every Thursday; Delta Park: 10:30am, every Friday. Venue: Delta Park and Lonehill Park. Cost: R420–R600 per month. Contact Leanne (Delta Park): 082 529 6906 or Tarryn (Lonehill): 082 462 7519, info@activemommies.co.za or visit activemommies.co.za Building bonds with your baby A support group for moms experiencing the baby blues or postnatal depression.

Time: 9am–10am, every Friday. Venue: The Family Life Centre, 1 Cardigan Rd, Parkwood. Cost: R200 per session. Contact: 011 788 4784, Sumaiya: 011 788 4784, 079 269 5955, counselling@familylife. co.za or visit familylife.co.za Cleva Me stimulation class During a term, mothers will learn how to stimulate their babies with structured play, gross motor activities, sensory stimulation magazine joburg

it’s party time

and massage. For babies 2–12 months.

Time: 9am–10am or 10:30am–11:30am, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Venue: Sunninghill. Cost: R125 for a single class, R1 000 per term. Contact: 079 899 2456, marlize@clevame.co.za or visit clevame.co.za

playtime and story time Bake, listen and create A fun venue where children can dress up, run, play and create wacky crafts under the supervision and guidance of the childminders. Time: 9am–5pm, Tuesday–Sunday; storytelling 3:30pm, every Wednesday; baking 11am, every Friday. Venue: Serendipity, 48 Keyes Ave, Rosebank. Cost: R45, baking R60 (includes the entrance fee). Contact: 011 447 7386, serendipityplay@gmail.com or visit serendipityplay.co.za Smudge Toddler Programme An interactive toddler programme that includes various creative activities from reading sessions to messy play, musical bumps and dough fun. Takes place from Tuesday–Friday. Bookings essential.

For children under 3 years old. Time: 10am–1pm, Tuesday–Friday. Venue: Smudge, 21A Valley Centre, 396 Jan Smuts Ave, Craighall Park. Cost: R80. Contact: 011 501 0234 or visit smudgeart.co.za

support groups HI HOPES Provides home-based support for families with deaf or hard-of-hearing infants. Contact: 011 717 3750, info@ hihopes.co.za or visit hihopes.co.za La Leche League Breast-feeding support group. For more info and a group in your area visit llli.org South African Multiple Birth Association Provides moral and practical support to parents or guardians of

Building bonds with your baby

For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties Barnswallows Baby Shelter

multiple births. Contact: 011 615 7666, secretary@samultiplebirth.co.za or visit samultiplebirth.co.za

how to help Barnswallows Baby Shelter This shelter cares for and rehabilitates abused and abandoned babies. Currently they are in need of a CCTV system to monitor the babies, they are rubberising the play area, and need nappies for 5kg babies and bigger. Venue: 839 Acanthus St, Roodepoort. Contact René: 011 675 3756, 082 851 9386, rene@barnswallowbabies. org or visit barnswallowbabies.org Chance Children’s Home This registered non-profit organisation provides a safe, secure home and therapeutic environment for children from families in crisis.

Although they offer residential care, their aim is to work with families towards the reconstruction and reunification of family units wherever possible. Contact: 011 734 2319, info@chancechildrenshome.co.za or visit chancechildrenshome.co.za FreeMe Wildlife Rehabilitation Centre Specialised treatment, care and rehabilitation is offered to abandoned and orphaned animals. You can support them by volunteering your time, making a donation or by selecting FreeMe as a beneficiary on your Woolworths MyVillage or MyPlanet card. Contact: 011 807 6993 or visit freeme.org.za HospiceWits charity shop They sell new and pre-loved secondhand items to raise funds for hospice’s services, and hosts an auction on the last Saturday of every month.

This month you can also buy your Tree of Light globe and help spread the hope.

Auction: 30 November. Time: charity shop’s operating hours: 9am–5pm, Monday– Friday; 8am–1pm, Saturday; auction: 10am, last Saturday. Venue: HospiceWits, Orange Grove, cnr Louis Botha Ave and 9th St, Orange Grove. Contact: 011 728 1052 or visit hospicewits.co.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to joburg@childmag.co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971. Information must be received by 1 November for the December 2013/ January 2014 issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

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finishing touch

“help, please – aisle four…”

ANÉL LEWIS explains how painful a quick trip to the grocery

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outstretched. Time for the first trick of the day – I hand out fruit sticks for each child.

This buys me enough time to get both children mobile and into the first aisle.

Everything is calm until Conor spots the toys. He starts flailing his legs, while simultaneously making the universal gesture for “give it to me” with his hands.

I try to ignore him, but he’s starting to look like one of those painted mime artists you see at tourist spots. People start to stare.

I take a sharp left into the dairy aisle to get each child a yoghurt. Conor is easily distracted by food, and calm ensues.

My saving grace on shopping expeditions are those ladies handing out samples. This usually buys me some extra time to shop as each child munches on a meatball, piece of steamed fish or whatever else is being dished out. But there are none on duty today and I have to rely on my own skills of distraction.

With three aisles to go, the wheels start to fall off. Erin gets antsy, and tries to climb

out of the trolley. Conor goes blood red and resumes his very vocal chorus of “no” while I try to manoeuvre him as quickly as possible through the queues so that I can pay and escape.

I’ve got no more snacks or distractions to come to my rescue. So, I am forced to break into a shaky rendition of “Annie Apple” in the chips’ aisle.

We leave the store, but I have forgotten about the mechanical bus outside. Both children start gesticulating madly. Feeling guilty that my attempts to keep them entertained during this ordeal have been a bit hit-and-miss, I agree to a few minutes in the bus. But it seems my showmanship is still in demand. Erin is petrified of the moving bus, yet she insists that I insert a coin to make the thing shudder and beep. Almost on cue she starts crying, while Conor hides behind the trolley. And me? I’m half way inside in the gyrating bus, singing about a bus conductor and wheels that go round in an

attempt to calm her down. Suddenly that medication-free root canal doesn’t seem so bad.

Anél Lewis is a mother of two, who has finally realised that until her children are old enough to drive themselves to the shops, online shopping may be the only way to preserve her sanity and spare other shoppers from further renditions of “The Wheels on the Bus”.

PHOTOGRAPH: STEPHANIE VELDMAN

g

oing shopping with two toddlers is a bit like having a root canal without the happy gas. You’ll probably survive the ordeal, but why put yourself through the pain? Ask any mother who braves a supermarket on a Saturday morning – you dare not venture forth without an arsenal of tricks. It starts pretty much as soon as you walk into the shop. In my case, Erin insists on sitting in a blue trolley. This is fine and dandy if there is one at hand. But what happens if there are four or more trolleys stacked in front of the blue one she has spotted? Yes, that’s right. You find yourself pushing trolleys apart and away in all directions, much to the chagrin of the hapless shoppers behind you.

Once Erin is settled, it’s Conor’s turn.

He can’t say “blue” yet, but he can shout “no” at the top of his lungs. And if he’s not in the mood to ride in the trolley that morning, he does a wonderful interpretation of someone “planking” with arms and legs

store can be with two small children in tow.

Erin, Anél and Conor

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