Child magazine | JHB October 2013

J O B U R G ’ S

b e s t

gu i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

dealing with

seeing children for who they really are

difference fear factor when children become overwhelmed

allergy alert common causes often overlooked

let them be

nurturing a well-rounded child

plus

midlife crisis

www.childmag.co.za

October 2013

free

health

keeping your health in check

education

entertainment

Hunter House P U B L I S H IN G

As I paged through this “dealing with difference” issue, I was struck by a common and all-too-familiar thread – intense fear.

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Cassandra Shaw • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • joburg@childmag.co.za

Fear has many faces. It can be overwhelming for children, and parents, to try to come to terms with the psychological and physical aspects of this commanding emotion. I have a friend who is currently going through a divorce.

It’s devastating for her but terrifying for her daughter, who has been to the doctor often, only to be told she is not sick. This little girl fears losing her family, so she can’t sleep at night and it’s making her physically ill.

This month, Donna Cobban, who was once our features editor and now residing in New Zealand, writes about her son’s food fears (see page 18). Pinpointing the real cause of a child’s fear is only the

Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za Alison Els • studio2@childmag.co.za Mariette Barkhuizen • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Renee Bruning • renee@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: BROOKE FASANI

Nicolene Baldy • subs@childmag.co.za

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

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beginning of getting them past it. “Fear it seems, is a powerful emotion and it deserves space, time and understanding,” writes Donna.

It’s our job to model non-anxious behaviour for our children, regardless of our own fears. I know it’s easier said than done, but we should aim to raise children who have sound coping mechanisms if they are to flourish in an ever-changing, often scary world. We also need to ask for help, and learn to accept it.

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October 2013

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contents october 2013

upfront

regulars

3 a note from lisa

10 pregnancy news – it’s noninvasive there is a new test for

6 over to you readers respond 8

reader’s blog Catherine van Rensburg shares a traditional recipe with a nutritional twist

features 18 food fear Donna Cobban tells the story of her son choking and the emotional repercussions of the ordeal

20 self-publishing 101 want to publish a book? Cassandra Shaw brings you the facts

22 a toddler in the wild Angus Begg and his two-year-old son, Fynn, go on safari in the Lowveld

genetic fetal abnormalities with no risk to your baby. By Anél Lewis

12 upfront with paul allowing your children to develop sophisticated palettes can cause havoc, says Paul Kerton

13 best for baby – you’re not alone Tania Wener shares her rollercoaster experience with reflux

16 dealing with difference Brian Hayward and Cassandra Shaw explain what the revolutionary method Floortime is all about

33 resource – free for all

25 it’s who they are Ruth Rehbock

Child magazine shares a few recipes that are free from common allergens

explains why we should allow our children to be themselves

36 a good read for the whole family

28 midlife crazy leading a healthy lifestyle should make the middle years child’s play, says Marc de Chazal

30 divorce dilemma Gary Koen looks at the impact that divorce and an unhappy marriage can have on children

health

40 what’s on in october 54 finishing touch date nights are as scarce as hen’s teeth in Anél Lewis’ home

classified ads 47 family marketplace

9 fruit with a bite Marina Zietsman looks into oral allergy syndrome

51 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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October 2013

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

Jean Bourget Photo: Olivier Ribardière Jelli Children’s Boutique

Photo: CaseyBertie.com Clothing: Earthchild.co.za

Ackermans ackermans.co.za

shutterstock.com

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October 2013

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letters

in response to “a world of difference” My son is five years old and has Down’s syndrome. It has been an emotional rollercoaster ride simply to have him admitted to a day care, that I can’t imagine what we’ll be faced with once he is ready for school. We have heard the most ridiculous excuses as to why they [a “normal” school] cannot accept him. From “they are destructive children” to “I will have to appoint a nurse as they are not healthy children”. I found a day mother who looked after him from the age of eight months until he was four years old. Unfortunately she had to close her centre. During that time his progress was amazing. He learnt so much from his “normal” peers. After she closed we had the daunting task of finding another centre for him. No one was prepared to take the risk of having him at their school. Nonetheless, he is at a special needs school, and I appreciate that he has been accepted, but his progress is not the same. Inclusion is the best way forward for him, but the reality is that society does not seem ready for it. I pray that people will realise that we all have our disabilities; some are just more evident. All I want for him is to be able to reach his full potential. I am worried about how other children will treat him if he is

ever accepted into a mainstream school. I know it won’t be an easy transition for everyone involved, but I need to give him every opportunity to grow and learn and become his own person.

Thanks to the educators who go the extra mile. We all have a responsibility to shape the minds of the future.

Anonymous

the bully teacher I recently watched a German television show that dealt with “mobbing”, or what we would refer to as school bullying. It is a very real phenomenon and in many cases takes place on the school grounds in front of teachers, who for some reason don’t regard it as serious. However, it can have profound effects on the victimised child. This child might start believing that they have “provoked” the bullying.

It can even manifest itself with teachers using bullying tactics on children. While parents need to start taking responsibility for the disciplining of their children, I just hope that complaints against the teacher are taken seriously by parents and by the school administrations.

I grew up in a time when “the teacher was always right”

over to you a letter to an autistic grandson Dear Benjamin, You were the first grandchild to be born in the family, and there was much excitement for your arrival. A few months later, there was some concern at how you never slept and your poor exhausted parents were living in Europe with no support system. Fourteen months later your baby sister was born, but by then, your parents, without discussing it with too many people, were starting to have some tests done to find out what was wrong. By the time you were two years old, your behaviour was almost unmanageable and, with your sister manifesting similar actions, the first mention of the word “autism” was made. This was enough to fill us all with such sadness and we had to read up about what autism actually meant apart from what we had seen on Rain Man. You are now eight years old, with a beautiful sister who is fortunately not autistic, but simply mimicked your obsessive behaviour patterns at a young age. Benjamin, we are sad that you are locked in this world of autism, but we say thank you every day for all the life lessons you, and your family, have taught us.

Thank you for making us humble when we watch the daily struggles you and your family experience. They call them challenges and they certainly are that, and then some!

Thank you for teaching us that through the smallest achievements, a family can feel such pride and so much

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October 2013

and I didn’t have the courage to even tell my parents of certain actions by some teachers. Parents should regularly ask questions and listen to their children.

Anonymous

lack of a reading culture I really enjoyed reading the article “read to write” (September 2013). I know not everyone is privileged to grow up in a home where reading and books are an important part of everyday life, but I still find it sad and shocking to see how many parents have an almost lacklustre attitude towards books.

A recent study showed that as little as 14 percent of South Africans read, and as little as one percent buy books. One Sunday paper did a survey among their readers. The question was: when was the last time you read a book? Fifty-four percent said that they’ve read a book in the last month and 27 percent said they didn’t read books. As the American writer and philosopher, Elbert Hubbard said: “This will never be a civilised country until we expend more money for books than we do for chewing gum.”

Carien Eksteen

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

love. These achievements are far smaller than those made by most growing children, but so precious when made by you.

Thank you for teaching us to not be judgemental when seeing trying behaviour from other children. You look so beautiful and “normal” that your parents have received so many harsh comments when you melt down in public. Maybe the parents of those other children have also been awake since 3am as your parents are when you wake up, but you can’t be left in front of the television while they sleep in.

Thank you for showing us the sacrifice made by your highly trained, professionally qualified mother, who has made it her business to learn all she can about autism and its treatment. So much so that she is now an absolute expert in many aspects of autism as well as the normal developmental challenges of childhood.

Thank you for saying, “Don’t go Granddad” when we are about to leave after spending a weekend at your home. Wow, how special is that?

Thank you for teaching us that it is okay to laugh at some of the weird things you do and that by laughing, we feel total acceptance of who you are.

Thank you for ensuring your beautiful little sister innately understands that you are different, so when you mess up a drawing she has just finished, she can cry but somehow cope with a maturity far beyond her age.

Thank you Benjamin for making us so grateful for, and appreciative of, our other grandchildren who do not need to face the hurdles that you do, as you bounce around the room smiling – and causing a fair amount of havoc.

Thank you Benjamin for teaching us patience beyond what we ever knew was possible. Through you, we have learnt that before going to a new place, we need to prepare you for the experience in many different ways – through pictures, words and videos, so that you can cope when you go into the world.

Benjamin, your father once said: “If we had a choice between having you or not having you, there is no choice.” They love you with all their heart; in the purest form, as they know you will be their responsibility forever. They will not feel the pride of watching their son play for the first rugby team or standing first in class.

They want you to be able to buy and pay for a litre of milk when you are older and will do everything in their power to help you reach that goal. Thank you Benjamin, our lives are so much richer with you in it.

Lindsay Sommer subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competitions.

To subscribe, visit childmag.co.za

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

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reader’s blog

something yummy CATHERINE VAN RENSBURG offers a nutritional remix of the traditional drop scone recipe, with banana, almond and whole-wheat.

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the sugary, processed ones, which are often filled with unhealthy additives.

So, here’s a nutritional remix of the humble drop scone – packed with hidden nutrients of the healthy kind – banana, whole-wheat, almonds and honey. Motherhood has made me a master at healthy food disguise. I’m guilty of things like pureeing fresh fruit and telling my children it’s yoghurt. The things we do...

These drop scones are also something you can make with your children. Mine (two and four years old) stand on chairs to be able to reach the kitchen counter and then take turns to pour, hold, whisk and stir. They love it.

They learn skills and it’s an opportunity to spend fun, quality time together.

These drop scones are quick to make

Fortunately, though, anyone can make their children’s snacks and do away with

as a healthy snack, family breakfast or children’s meal.

October 2013

banana and almond wholewheat drop scones – (makes 16) you will need • 1 cup whole-wheat (preferably stoneground) flour • ¼ cup ground almonds • 1 tsp baking powder • 1 egg • ¾ cup milk • 1 tbsp melted butter • 1 tbsp raw honey • 1 small ripe banana chopped • A sprinkle of cinnamon • A little coconut oil/butter for frying what to do 1.

Beat the egg. Add the rest of the ingredients and beat with an electric whisk until the batter is smooth.

2. Heat a little coconut oil/butter in a frying pan. Once hot, drop small rounds of batter in the pan. Leave enough space

between drops, so that they do not touch. I cook four at a time.

3.

Cook on a medium heat for a few minutes, until golden on the cooked side. Then flip over and cook for a minute on the other side.

4.

Remove from heat and repeat the process until your batter is finished.

5. These drop scones can be served with a combination of honey, peanut butter, cream cheese and nuts. *Catherine van Rensburg is the author of theyummyblog.com

Readers, this is your column – it’s a space to air your views, share a valuable parenting lesson, vent your frustrations or celebrate your joys. Send your writing to features@childmag.co.za

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PHOTOGRAPH: CATHERINE VAN RENSBURG

i

’ve been thinking a lot about what we’re really eating and feeding our children. My four year old was recently diagnosed as allergic to soya.

It gives him red hives that the doctors initially thought was measles. I’ve since discovered soya is present in a lot of foods. I wasn’t even aware he was eating that much soya until his body said “enough”.

Do we really know what we’re putting into our bodies and our children’s bodies? I’ve strengthened my resolve to get back to natural foods. I’ve started making my own bread and have a kudu in my freezer, which I know contains no growth hormones or antibiotics. I also have plans to get some chickens for eggs when the weather warms up… a little extreme for some, I know.

health

fruit with a bite MARINA ZIETSMAN looks at oral allergy

a

syndrome, and finds the culprits.

bout a week ago I bit into a succulent strawberry, and sadly I won’t be able to enjoy one again. The onslaught was immediate and brutal. A quick Google search told me something I didn’t know: oral allergy syndrome (OAS).

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

what is it?

The American Academy of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology says that this reaction occurs because the proteins found in some fruits and vegetables are very similar to those found in pollen. These proteins can confuse the immune system and cause an allergic reaction or make existing symptoms worse.

This means that should you have a pollen allergy to grass, weeds or trees, you may have an allergic reaction to foods containing similar proteins to those found in the pollen.

Prof Robin Green, a paediatric pulmonologist at the Department of Paediatrics and Child Health at the University of Pretoria and the chairman of the Allergy Society of South Africa says: “The patient has previously been exposed to the pollen allergen (protein) via the respiratory tract (the nose and lungs).

These allergens are usually called Class II allergens, because they evoke a reaction to food, but not via the gastro intestinal tract. It is also more common for OAS to occur in adults or older children.”

spot the symptoms Dr Marinda McDonald, a GP in private practice in Joburg, with a special interest in allergies, says, “This allergic phenomenon does not generally progress to give a more serious reaction.

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There are however some cases where it does cause a runny nose, itchy eyes and, very rarely, anaphylaxis (a severe generalised allergic reaction).” Other signs of existing OAS include itching mouth, palate, ears and throat; a tingling in the mouth, palate or throat; watering eyes and sneezing; swelling of the lips, mouth, tongue, face or throat (very rare); some body parts may even itch when handling the raw fruit or vegetable; existing eczema might flare up; and a sensation of the throat tightening.

managing OAS

the main offenders

“The reactions to the food normally occur in its raw (uncooked) state. Thus, once the food is cooked or processed, it can usually be eaten. Peeling the food can also help to remove the offending allergen,” says Green. He adds that it is important that you ascertain whether all or only some of the cross-reacting foods in a specific group cause a reaction for you individually; you may be able to eat some of the other fruits and vegetables in the group and so not deprive yourself of essential nutrients. McDonald says, “A healthcare professional who has knowledge of allergies can evaluate the risk of the reaction involved. A good clinical history by an experienced doctor is also advised.” Antihistamines might offer some relief, says McDonald, but in severe cases, seek medical help fast. “OAS is a lifelong burden and, at this stage, is not curable,” says Green. “It’s probably best to simply avoid foods that cause your OAS.”

If you are allergic to the following, you may develop or have OAS when eating these fruits and vegetables: Birch pollen – apple, raw potato, carrot, celery, hazelnut, pear, peach, plum and cherry Mugwort pollen – celery, apple, peanut, kiwi fruit, carrot, parsley and spices (fennel, coriander, aniseed, cumin) Ragweed pollen – melons (watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew) and banana Latex – avocado, kiwi fruit, chestnut, papaya and banana Courtesy of the World Allergy Organization *Note: In South Africa there are other pollens that can cause a reaction.

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pregnancy news

it’s non-invasive You can now test for genetic fetal abnormalities, at no risk to your unborn baby, from as early as 10 weeks into your pregnancy. ANÉL LEWIS finds out more about cell-free DNA analysis.

i

had an uneasy second pregnancy after blood tests showed that I had a one in 50 chance of having a baby with Down’s syndrome. Despite this being my only positive result – my baby’s nuchal fold was normal and there were no other soft markers – I knew my age put me in a high-risk category. I was reluctant to have an amniocentesis as it carries a risk of miscarriage. If only I had known about cell-free DNA testing, which can be done with a Harmony Prenatal Test at The Fetal Assessment Centre in Cape Town. This new screening test poses no risk to the baby, and has a 99,5 percent detection rate.

benefits

no more tests

Although current screening tests, such as serum blood tests and ultrasounds are also non-invasive, they have false positive rates of up to five percent, or for one in 20 women. These patients may go on to have more invasive and often unnecessary tests. With the Harmony Test, the false positive rate drops to just one in 1 000 women, says Morris. But she emphasises that it is not a diagnostic test, and an abnormal result would not be enough for a patient to consider termination as an option. “You would still need to get an amniocentesis because there is a 0,5 percent chance that the baby is normal.”

Morris says the test does not replace the 12-week scan. The fetus will still be examined and if the nuchal fold exceeds 3,5mm, the mother will have the option of an amniocentesis, irrespective of the Harmony Test’s result. This is so the doctor can check for other abnormalities, such as Trisomies 18 and 13. If the Harmony result is negative and the NTS is also normal, then no further testing is necessary and the mother would return for her anomaly scan at 20 weeks.

what it is

what’s involved?

Dr Shannon Morris, The Fetal Assessment Centre’s coordinator, explains that the Harmony Prenatal Test can be done as early as 10 weeks into pregnancy and uses only the mother’s blood. Diagnostic tests, such as the chorionic villus sampling that involves testing a sample of the placenta, or an amniocentesis that tests fluid around the baby, are more invasive for the fetus. This new test isolates the baby’s DNA and can reliably detect genetic fetal abnormalities, including Down’s syndrome, says Morris. You can also find out the baby’s sex much sooner.

Blood is drawn from the mother’s arm and the sample is then flown to the Ariosa Diagnostics Laboratory in California. It takes 12 to 14 days to get the results, which means the patient knows her risk before the 12-week nuchal translucency scan (NTS), says Morris. All parents are offered genetic counselling before they decide on the test. Possible causes of a false positive result include a placenta that has not produced enough of the plasma protein A, or if the DNA of a vanishing twin with Down’s syndrome is still detectable. If the test yields no results, the centre will take another sample.

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October 2013

who qualifies?

“Anybody who wants to can be screened, but the test is perfect for older women, or those who dread having an amniocentesis,” says Morris. It can be used on singleton babies, twins, IVF pregnancies and donor ova. So far, the Cape Town centre is the only one in the country offering this screening test, although others are in negotiations with similar laboratories overseas.

the price of peace of mind As the cost of the test depends on the rand/dollar exchange rate, it does not come cheaply. Morris says it would cost R8 000, about the same as an amniocentesis, taking into account the laboratory fee. It’s currently not covered by medical aid.

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upfront with paul

off the menu Sometimes variety can be more trouble than it’s worth. PAUL KERTON speaks

i

’m all for giving children choices in every sphere of life, but when it comes to food, if you’re not careful, you can be too lenient at too early an age, and end up making a rod for your back. I used to hate olives as a child, but my children were eating olives and Parmesan cheese before they could talk, which we thought was “oh so continental” at the time, but this can get out of control. When I was growing up, the most exotic food you could get was an orange. Today you can get any ingredient from the remotest corner of the world fresh at your local supermarket, and tastes have changed radically.

I don’t really mind what my children eat, providing it is healthy and nutritious and as long as they eat the same thing at the same time. As a parent there is a real skill in developing this taste union. Without this you can find yourself preparing 17 different versions of the same meal, spending a monumental amount of extra time and money on shopping and cooking, using

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Saskia, Paul and Sabina

twice as much fuel, and ending up with triple the usual mountain of washing-up.

I shudder to think what it is like feeding three or more children a simple meal of bangers and mash when one is a vegetarian, and needs Quorn vegetarian sausages (but loves onion gravy), the other one prefers real sausages, but doesn’t like onions in the gravy, and the other child hates mashed potato and prefers fried potatoes that must be cut to geometric perfection in equilateral triangles and

presented as “crinkly at the edges”. Or one child likes real sausages flavoured with chilli and marmalade while the other only likes plain.

If you’re that versatile – and many of us have to be – you may as well give up parenting and go and work at Marco Pierre White’s restaurant. In fact you may as well open your own restaurant. And there’s the rub. You cannot turn the TV on these days without a foodie programme being on. The world has been food mad for a decade,

which is cool – I love food, eating it and cooking it – but you have to remember that Nigella and Jamie have an army of little helpers who do the shopping, preparing and styling. Have you ever seen either of them doing the washing-up? No, neither have I. Greater food awareness and a sophisticated palette can reach irritating proportions when you’re in the middle of cooking a simple, nutritious and above all “speedy” omelette for breakfast before school. When junior looks over your shoulder and pipes up with: “Oh, it’s so much better with a touch of Viennese herb goat’s cheese, raspberry roulade, and a smattering of capers and almonds on top with a goulash of pomme nouveau.”

“Well, thanks for that darling. I’ll remember that the next time I jet over to the Harrod’s Deli counter especially, but for now, you’ve got 10 minutes to eat this before we hit the school run.”

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

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PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

about the complexities of having a child with a sophisticated palette.

you’re not alone

c

best for baby

TANIA WENER discusses the emotional impact of reflux.

oming home with your new baby is wonderful.

The two week honeymoon passes in a haze of swollen breasts and visitors. Things are tiring but good. Then one day the incessant high-pitched screaming begins, and you don’t know what’s hit you. Your baby refuses to drink or is feeding too much, hardly sleeping and needs to be constantly held and rocked. Your peaceful sleeping angel has been replaced with an overwhelming little person. Welcome to the world of reflux.

what is reflux?

Reflux occurs in babies when their milk flows back up their oesophagus. This is normal, lasting until they are about eight months old, and it doesn’t usually bother most babies. Dr Lauren Lee, a Cape Town GP, notes that when reflux is causing pain and discomfort it is called Gastrooesophageal Reflux Disease (GORD). Silent reflux is where the milk only comes as high as the oesophagus and does not come out of the mouth, which takes longer to diagnose and can be missed. Heredity tends to be a factor and premature babies are particularly at risk.

challenges Reflux affects every aspect of family life; it is an exhausting process that can leave you resenting your new baby, partner and life in general.

I was one of those parents, and can fully understand how challenging it can be and the strain it can put on the

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best of relationships. From the moment our daughter was born, she did not stop crying. Pulling away every time I tried to breast-feed her was frustrating and resulted in me expressing each feed. Sleep only came after hours of bouncing and holding her upright. Watching her arch her back and thrash around in agony caused a constricting pain in my heart. Those first weeks left me feeling overwhelmed and isolated. My husband began calling me “the snapping turtle” because every time I opened my mouth I sounded angry and desperate. Anxiety became my new unwanted friend. The experience took me from being a confident, independent woman and broke me down into what felt like nothingness; second guessing and hating myself.

Being misunderstood becomes one of the major isolating issues.

effects on siblings and relationships The situation became more complex with the birth of my second daughter. She arrived a year and a half after my first. She also had reflux. My eldest daughter needed me, but once again I was busy rocking her screaming sister.

Many men also report feeling isolated from their partners and children. With the mother busy feeding and calming the baby, it’s easy for fathers to feel sidelined.

Plus, the extra financial strain of doctor’s visits, medications and formulas can overwhelm and tarnish even the strongest of marriages.

getting through it Cape Town paediatrician Dr Deon Smith notes that many mothers in his practice need help for either depression or postnatal distress when dealing with reflux for an extended period. Seeing a postnatal counsellor is essential.

Surrounding yourself with a support system is also important and asking your partner to help look after your other children can help. Try to get as much sleep as you can and remember to take everything step-by-step. It will end. Eventually, it gets easier and you’re able to build your lives again.

quick tips for baby • E levate the head side of her cot, to help the milk stay down.

• Keep your baby upright for 10 minutes and burp your baby after each feed.

• If your baby is refusing to feed, try sitting on an exercise ball with them or gently rocking them while you’re feeding them.

• Let her suck a dummy.

• Keep nappies loose to avoid extra pressure over the stomach area.

• Consult a doctor about medication.

• If you are breast-feeding, alcohol, caffeine, dairy and other triggers can exacerbate the problem.

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dealing with difference

the wonders of floortime A revolutionary technique, mainly for children with developmental challenges, is finally taking

a

root in South Africa. Brian Hayward and

Cassandra Shaw discuss the Floortime method.

t birth, Lucio was cortically blind. Doctors said he wouldn’t walk, his blindness couldn’t be cured, and he would unlikely live past his teens. Today, although Lucio is severely autistic, he’s a healthy, happy 13 year old with near-perfect vision. He can walk largely unassisted and is able to communicate his needs to his parents.

When he was 17 months his mother, based in Amsterdam, took him to a developmental educationalist who was using an increasingly popular technique with mentally and physically challenged children – to astounding effect. The technique is called DIR (the Developmental Individual difference Relationship-based model). It’s otherwise known as “Floortime” because it centres around interactions with the children, mostly on the floor in their preferred space. Despite the model being used in abundance in North America and Europe, the use of Floortime in South Africa is more isolated.

breakdown When American child psychiatrist Stanley Greenspan and psychologist Serena Wieder first developed the concept in the late 1980s, it sought to replace more restrictive childdevelopment techniques with one based on celebrating each child’s uniqueness and concentrating on their quality of life.

“Floortime pulls together the best of OT, psychology and speech therapy,” says occupational therapist Kerry Wallace of Polka Spot Early Intervention Centre in Cape Town.

Being built on three pillars (DIR: Developmental, Individual difference and Relationships), floortime is a client directed approach. The therapist assesses the child’s emotional stages of development, takes the child’s individual processing differences into consideration, and encourages involvement from those central in the child’s life, says Wallace.

With Floortime, children’s developmental goals are decided not by a general societal standard, but by assessing what they are capable of achieving at their level. This philosophy filters into the interaction with each child, with adults meeting them at this level. “People tend to do things to – or for – children with challenges, but what Floortime encourages is to do things with the child,” says South African-born Marius De Vos who has Master’s degrees in education and psychology and who started his own school for autistic children in Amsterdam before recently moving back to South Africa.

He also points out that historically, children with disabilities have suffered from the drive towards normalisation. “This method tries to find ways for children to connect with the rest of the world without taking them away from themselves,” he explains. “It’s not about saying, ‘You are nine years old, so you should be able to do this’. It’s about looking at the child and seeing what their next developmental step is and working towards that.

You don’t approach children in terms of what they can’t do, but in terms of what they can do. Everybody can do something. That’s what you latch onto and where you try to meet them,” he says.

“Floortime is also a coaching model”, says Wallace. It includes and teaches parents, or whoever’s in the child’s world, how to work with, understand, and better deal with their child.” Other treatments are so therapist based, and especially with young children, their parents need to be involved right from the beginning. They are often the ones that get the best response from their child anyway,” she adds. Plus, if parents are involved, the model “can work anywhere for the child, and the parents’ newly found expertise can be used from different angles,” she explains.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Floortime pulls together the best of OT, psychology and speech therapy.

fitting in The model provides a roadmap for the treatment of developmental, learning and emotional challenges and diagnoses. The widespread applicability is possible because it’s based on a theory that focuses on capacities fundamental to the development of all children. It’s also a comprehensive model with a range of interventions that can be tailored to specific underlying sensory processing, motor and learning challenges as well as family and cultural factors, says Wallace. She adds that it is an approach used in dealing with children who are anxious, have attention difficulties, language delays, learning challenges, and sensory processing, Autism or Asperger’s disorders, but that it can be used for all children of all ages.

Wallace explains how they first “meet the family, work with them, find out their needs and formulate a way forward. Parents frequently bring their children in for speech therapy, due to language delays and that’s where the process usually starts. An OT will then work with them and shift them onto something else that fits their individual situation. It’s a very flexible process,” she says.

seeing South African results When De Vos returned to Port Elizabeth last year, he brought with him a physiotherapist trained in Floortime. They spent a week at the Aurora Special Needs Centre for physically and mentally challenged children, training staff in Floortime. One year later, staff members have noted significant developments in children who had previously eschewed any sort of interaction. Irma Jacobsz, a teacher at the centre for the past eight years, explains the changes in six-year-old Melanie*. “She was very into herself,” playing in front of the mirror. “For us, it was a matter of not knowing how to teach her [before being introduced to Floortime],” she says. After 15 minutes with De Vos, Melanie was interacting with him as he mimicked her behaviour. A thick jacket, which Melanie kept on no matter what – her “second skin” – was removed with relative ease as De Vos engaged with her using the Floortime principles. “There had been no attempt to deal with what the coat meant to her,” says De Vos, “so I worked with her in ways that included the coat in our interaction. When I wanted to move her arms so we could pretend to be birds together, instead of holding her hands I pulled the coat. And so she slowly accepted me as part of the experience, and I just slowly worked the coat off her.”

This year, as teachers have continued using Floortime with children, Melanie has continued to improve. During a class sing-along, Melanie began interacting, holding up her hands to clap with the teacher – a remarkable action for a child with autistic traits, says Jacobsz. * Name has been changed

training and affiliation

resource

Co-creator of the DIR Floortime method, Serena Wieder, started the Profectum Foundation, an NGO that offers online Floortime training to professionals and parents.

Profectum has also been establishing international affiliates throughout the world and Polka Spot’s NPO, Spotlight Trust SA, is the Profectum affiliate in South Africa. Their aim is to train people and ultimately make Floortime culturally relevant in South Africa.

• A utistic-like: Graham’s Story – a film by Erik Linthorst • Building Healthy Minds by Stanley Greenspan (1999).

• A Tale of Two Schools by Claudia Wallis (Time magazine May 2006) • The Interdisciplinary Council on Developmental and Learning Disorders (ICDL): visit icdl.com • Polka Spot Early Intervention Centre: visit polkaspot.co.za • The Profectum and Spotlight Trust: visit profectum.org and spotlight.org.za

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spotlight

food fear Helping your child overcome a traumatic event can take time. DONNA COBBAN tells the story of her son’s

he early morning sun slanted through the window, warming the kitchen. I put the kettle on and reached for a tea bag. My mom, who was visiting us at the time, handed a plum to her hungry five-year-old grandson. I was going to get egg and toast along with fruit and yoghurts onto the table as soon as the tea was made. The plum was intended to fill the gap while he waited – he has always had a voracious appetite.

floor. I breathed sweet breaths of deep relief as a sobbing, yet safe child crawled onto my lap.

That, I thought, was that. He made no mention of the incident, ate his breakfast and behaved normally. The next day was the same, as was the next, but then suddenly and without warning, his pattern changed and he refused to eat. Here was a child, who had until now eaten with great gusto. He devoured stems of broccoli and tucked

It was over in a second and we both slid to the floor. I breathed sweet breaths of deep relief as a sobbing, yet safe child crawled onto my lap.

Perhaps it was a mother’s instinct, why else would I turn to look at a silent child behind me, sucking quietly on a juicy plum? The pip was momentarily lodged in his throat; he looked up at me with alarm and was met with a panic-stricken mother swinging into action as I grabbed hold of him and slapped him hard between the shoulder blades. It was over in a second and we both slid to the

into lentil bakes and hearty soups with great gratitude, but now he ate nothing – well almost nothing. Runny yoghurt with no floating fruit pieces was tolerated; juice and water and sometimes milk were acceptable – but nothing else. I tried begging, I tried pleading and I tried bribing – nothing worked. He was resolute in his decision to not eat anything that needed chewing and then swallowing. Not long after

???

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food scare and how they dealt with it.

this he started to become anxious for those around him and on hearing anyone cough he would rush over and check if the person was alright; always wanting to know what it was that was stuck in their throat. I drew pictures to show him what happens when you swallow something.

It didn’t work. Nothing convinced him that the danger had passed. The days turned into weeks and still there was no change. After a month I gave up trying to “fix” the situation, and just let it be. I made sure he had access to as much runny yoghurt as he wanted. I offered him what I was eating, and then I just ignored it as best I could. His weight dropped, but not dramatically and he was still blessed with abundant energy.

I decided that after six weeks of this I would take him to see a doctor, but the thought did not inspire me as he was in no danger of dying and I knew there was little a doctor could do to convince him to eat. Thankfully that action never had to be taken as he eventually began to eat. At first he started on soft white bread with honey. Bananas soon followed, as did tomato soups and pasta with melted cheese. He still scrutinised everything seriously, sifting through it to check there was nothing he might choke on. I let him take the lead and today, four months on, we are almost back to normal.

Brown toast has only recently been deemed acceptable, but he still won’t go near anything hard such as nuts or sweets, and he thinks popcorn is the absolute pits.

what the professionals say Scouring the internet for others in a similar position produced disappointing results, yet the first doctor I spoke to had a similar problem with his own child. Dr David Nye, a Cape Town-based GP, homeopath and acupuncturist, watched his then six-year-old son refuse to eat any solids after seeing his older brother choking. It took him six long

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weeks to come around to eating solids again. Nye’s advice is not to panic. “Try to find out what triggered the reaction and feed the child with liquid or semi-solid foods for as long as it takes to return to normal.”

Knowing now that the entire scenario was largely psychological and not physiological, I turned to a psychologist for further input. Robynne Thomson at the Sandton Psychology Centre tells me that the best way for her to make sense of my son’s behaviour is to see it within the context of trauma. “The incident of swallowing the pip and the consequent fright that your son got was obviously a traumatic experience for him and a common response to trauma is to avoid anything associated with that event.

Eating and swallowing solid food would have been an association with the traumatic event and he was obviously too fearful to do this.”

While she says she is not suggesting that my son had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), she does tell me that “if one looks at the diagnosis of PTSD one can see some similarities and parallels with the pattern of behaviour displayed, one of which involves ‘the loss of physical integrity’.

“In the case of your son,” she explains, “choking could be defined as a loss of physical integrity and your son getting a big fright could be seen as reacting with intense fear.” Thomson says that there are three symptom clusters in PTSD, one is the avoidance of traumatic reminders which she says my child was clearly displaying.

Seen within this context I realise how my initial reaction was a waste of time – thinking that my powers of persuasion were going to sway his legitimate fear was somewhat naive of me. Fear, it seems, is a powerful emotion and it deserves space, time and understanding – no matter what the trigger is and no matter how long the healing may need.

Robynne Thomson’s helpful steps • Deal with the behaviour as one would any other traumatic event.

• Acknowledge the child’s emotions of intense fear. This validates them and helps the child know that you understand them and take their emotions seriously.

• Assist the child in feeling a sense of mastery and control over the feared situation. This can be done in a variety of ways: from playing games (such as the child cooking for, and feeding their toys, siblings, animals and parents) to encouraging the child to recount the story of the traumatic event.

• Gradual introduction to the feared situation would be helpful, such as introducing soft foods and liquids and then slowly, more solid food.

If one could give the child an array of food to choose from, this would also encourage a sense of mastery and control over the situation.

• Teaching the child how to manage their anxiety by getting them to relax when you can see they are getting anxious, such as breathing deeply, can also be useful.

• Role modelling non-anxious behaviour can be helpful – for example eating your food with gusto and remarking on how good and comfortable you feel while doing so.

• If the child is refusing food and liquid for longer than a day or two, seek medical advice as small children can be at risk if they become dehydrated and malnourished.

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how to

It’s not as easy as you think.

CASSANDRA SHAW passes on advice

K Rowling said that the Harry Potter books “strolled into her head fully formed”. But, we’re not all JK Rowling, and it’s not often that you come up with or know that your story ideas are guaranteed to put you onto the Forbes Top 100. So, before you put pen to paper, here are a few things that you’ll need to think about.

margie orford’s take Internationally acclaimed Cape Town based author, Margie Orford, has been involved in the publishing world for a number of years. She has written in a variety of genres, was a commissioning editor at a small publishing house and also worked as an investigative crime journalist. She was first published in a magazine at the age of 16 and wrote her first book for young children in 1996.

Since then, she has written close to 40 books, some that have been translated into multiple languages. “It takes a long time to be an overnight success,” she says, but she sees writing as a career and a lifelong vocation.

When asked about her journey as an author, Margie says that she “never had a

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barrier to being published.” Having worked in the industry for so long, she knew what publishers were looking for and how to fit her work in commercially with theirs. “The hard bit for most is getting your first book published. Publishers tend to look at you like you’re a mental patient,” she says.

Start out with newspapers, magazines, and commissioned pieces to build up a track record and gain experience writing marketable text, she says.

When it comes to the writing process, Margie’s advice is to “be gentle on yourself and let it develop as if it’s a baby – to a point – then you need to separate, edit and be ruthless on your story.” Once you think it’s complete, it’s important to give it to a good critical reader, that you trust, she says. “Don’t give it to family or close friends.” Give these people specific instructions; ask them to give you their overall impression of what worked for them, which characters were underdeveloped, and ways to improve – not to just pick out spelling and typos, she says. At this point, it’s crucial to believe what they say.

“If 10 people tell you that your writing is [rubbish], believe that, put it in a drawer and write something else,” she says. In publishing, “you can’t think that something is good because you wrote it. You need to detach your feeling of investment from your feeling of saleable value,” she adds.

Having built her career in this industry, Margie is fully behind traditional publishing, and firmly believes that if your writing fits into their domain, it will be published. magazine joburg

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from the professionals.

If faced with rejection, she suggests seriously considering the publisher’s feedback. “Believe what they say. It’s not like showing a poem to your mom when you’re six. Writing happens in a very intimate and vulnerable space and you have to put it out into a very harsh and money driven market,” she says. Although it’s not a nice feeling, she adds, there are certain questions that any aspiring author should ask themselves: Have you applied to the right publisher? Have you followed their submission guidelines? Does your book fit in with their list? Have you been patient?

Margie warns against self-publishing.

“People get ripped off with this all the time. Some self-publishing companies can charge a fortune and it can look terrible,” she says. If, however, it’s something that you are set on doing, Margie advises that you be really careful with the reasons why you are writing a book. “Do a self-evaluation to assess this and ask yourself what you need through this process. Speak to your friends, your shrink, whoever,” she says.

linda fellowes’ experience Self-published South African children’s writer of titles such as Eric in It’s a Piece of Cake and Nicole in The Surf is my Turf, Linda Fellowes has a different take on selfpublishing. “I started writing because my son wanted books where things were real.

He was interested in stories that offered a mix of a children’s story and real life – things that he could relate to,” she says.

When it comes to producing your book, Linda recommends the use of an

experienced illustrator and graphic designer whose work appeals to you. They know the rules for page layout, number of pages, types of paper, and they’re usually connected with the printing industry, she says.

She also speaks of the benefits of hiring a professional editor. “They help you organise your thoughts more clearly and generally get more out of you,” she says.

She also mentions the importance of taking on their advice. “They know what they’re doing. Don’t be offended by their red pen, it is there to help you,” she adds.

After applying to a few traditional publishers and receiving positive feedback, but being given no definitive answers and asked to wait, she decided to print herself.

“Having the backing of a big publishing house definitely has its advantages as you get a lot of publicity and there is no financial risk to yourself,” but, she decided to take the risk anyway.

Linda stresses the importance of hiring an agent. “Getting your books into a bookshop is tricky and selling your book is where 90 percent of your time will be spent,” she says. When asked about her experiences as an author, Linda says, “The nicest surprise is when a child tells you it’s his favourite bedtime story. It’s an interesting road, so enjoy the journey.”

how to self-publish • • • • •

ead and write a lot and take a writing class. Keep a notebook and do research.

R Choose a genre. The cost to produce educational and children’s books are higher.

Look at character development and how to shape a story.

Know your audience and develop a price structure.

Choose a self-publishing path and/or company with care. There are several options for different needs and many vanity publishers. Read the fine print on contracts, beware of hidden costs and ask for quotes.

• Decide if you want to publish a book, an e-book or both. E-books can reach more people but a book has a longer shelf life.

• You can find free marketing platforms for your book like Facebook or Twitter, or start blogging about it. Market your book locally first.

things to consider • E xperienced editors and designers can be expensive.

• Traditional publishers have a waiting list of one to two years, and there are no guarantees.

• Traditional publishers prefer established writers.

• It’s hard to sell your book to a bookstore; invest in a distribution agent.

• The publishing process can take 3–8 months.

• Total costs can be roughly R10 000–R50 000+.

• Fully illustrated books are expensive, especially if in colour.

• Printers get busy close to the holidays.

• The average fees the middlemen will take from sales: bookshops 40%–50%, agents 9–10%, distributors (including agent’s fee) 20–30%, online sites: 30–40%. *Information courtesy of Clare-Rose Julius from Porcupine Press, Derek Thomas of Ready to Print and Sally Shaw of Self-Publish SA.

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21

t a toddler in the wild

ANGUS BEGG and two-year-old Fynn go on a memorable father and son adventure in the Lowveld.

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he noise outside our reed-walled hut is deafening, wild and encroaching.

My two-and-a-half year-old son, Fynn, has never heard anything like it, and wraps his little arms around my leg. A short, sharp intake of breath illustrates his unease.

In his mind something horrible and large is out there beyond the thin walls of our thatched hut. And it’s getting closer.

In adult reality it is no more threatening than hundreds of Bubbling Kassina frogs, those of small body and loud voice. There must be a thousand of them outside, and the three-quarter reed wall does little to soften their song. “Frogs,” repeats Fynn after me in a conspiratorial whisper.

If you had to ask most tourists to the African bush why they go on safari, whether from Joburg or London, you would find the answer surprisingly simple.

As clichéd as it is obvious, most are seeking to replace the unforgiving pace of modern city life with a brief return to nature.

To breathe in her scents, take in her landscapes and to witness her wildlife.

While time and increasing wealth have proved there is indeed a place for raspberry jus, Indian cotton sheets spun

of a gazillion threads and massage spas in the bush, they have until recently never before been part of “the bush” and the sense of escape that belongs with it. And when it comes to little ones, this is perhaps even more so, for the sounds, textures and almost otherworldliness are so much more important than aircon, sherry in the carafe and 24/7 attention to designer detail.

It is this absence of “puffery”, the adherence to bushveld basics, that distinguishes Umlani Bushcamp, one of the many lodges and self-catering camps – deep in South Africa’s Timbavati Game Reserve – from most of the bushveld pack.

And it’s at night that the difference is felt most clearly.

By design, our experience is one of complete immersion. Crickets, frogs, badgers, nightjars and owls rustle and tweet themselves awake. Without aircon and bricks ‘n mortar to seal out the bush, the imagination is left to run wild – especially when that heavy breathing of the leopard saws its way through the subconscious.

Which is pretty much what happened to us. Instead of imagining a third-person world of dry river-beds and knob-thorn acacias, my mind began plotting a

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PHOTOGRAPHs / ILLUSTRATIONS: Angus Begg / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

getaway

hypothetical escape route, just in case the absurd took hold of the situation and the feline leapt into our (outside) bathroom.

I was wishing Fynn was awake to hear primeval at play.

But he wasn’t, and we woke to a beautiful morning, with scary frogs replaced by panicking Francolins and Weavers busy about their nests. Rising with the bushveld in autumn is an awesome bloody privilege – and I don’t use the word lightly.

The game-drive was leaving at 5:30am, and I’d resolved to miss it if Fynn wasn’t awake. Being so little, I know how important it is – for my own sanity as much as the other guests – that he gets his full quota of sleep. I also wanted to witness his waking to this brand new world. Thankfully David, the camp manager, had arranged a separate drive for us.

The game-drive is good. Just as the faintest drizzle begins to tickle, we spot a leopard – Ginger, our guide, and the tracker had been looking for him. Remarkably, he has four kills in a tree; three steenbok and an impala. In between dodging the drops and clutching firmly on to my inquisitive son – ensuring that he stays in the vehicle – I get the odd shot.

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The average game-drive is three to four hours, and although I’ve brought along juice, rusks and a couple of apples, by the time we find our next leopard I realise that rather than hungry, he’s bored.

By now we’d found another leopard, and are well-positioned to watch a male on a kill beneath an imposing Jackalberry tree, alongside a dry riverbed. This is when Fynn decides he wants to exit the vehicle. He howls on being restrained.

I mutter serious thanks that we are alone.

Back at camp, all he wants is egg – sod the veggies, home-made bread and crème brûlée. Usually a brilliant eater, his eating – a bit like his routine – has been all over the place. That’s travelling with children. On our way back to our hut and the anticipated nap, David asks in that exquisitely polite manner that only the English can pull off, how we’re doing.

David is a curious fish. You can tell he’s super-competent and efficient just by the way he moves – I could swear there’s a touch of Sandhurst* military in him. But at first meeting he does seem allergic to children.

He tells me (in a wonderfully candid manner) that the closest he’s been to

Fynn insists on carrying his own bags – even today almost two years on

children is his nephew, “and that’s close enough”. Which admittedly leaves me a little on edge as to what to expect. I have a vision of spending the next 24 hours walking on egg-shells.

On our exploration of the camp after his nap, we had meanwhile found a drum in the boma – with the proverbial fireplace in the middle. Naturally it demanded to be thumped. Not entirely without rhythm, but a little noisy and possibly over-enthusiastic – I’d imagine not ideal for some guests’ idea of a bushveld breakaway. The pots in the kitchen also demanded his attention, so one of the cooks, Leeneth – who took a particular shine to Fynn – moved the drum to the kitchen.

And this is where Africa stands a world apart. My experience has shown that the local staff can’t seem to get enough of babies, toddlers and preschoolers – and Fynn is welcomed into the kitchen. The staff love him, as others have done since he visited his first lodge when aged just a tiny six months, and his ease with people first became evident.

With that in mind, I’ve given myself the luxury of a babysitter for the afternoondrive. Leeneth will be with Fynn. He’s happy when she takes over.

But it doesn’t go entirely to plan. The further out we drive, responding to sightings reported by fellow driver-guides around

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the Timbavati, the more guilt sets in, and I curse myself. Forget the eagle-owl or lioness and cubs, I’m missing my boy, and sharing every waking experience with him.

I’m wishing I was back in camp.

Apparently the feeling wasn’t mutual.

Fynn is beaming on my return – he’d been living the social highlife in the staff village, with drums at his disposal and playing with Leeneth.

And when it wasn’t Leeneth, it was the guides – Elvis or Ginger – always showing an interest in little Fynn. That’s something many forget when travelling this simultaneously luscious and dusty continent – its capacity for human connection. It wouldn’t be what it is without its people.

Fynn loved Elias, and vice-versa.

Here he’s demanding “a drive”

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Fynn is almost two years older now, at the grand old age of four and a half. In that time I have endeavoured to introduce him to a heritage he wouldn’t have on any other continent. We’ve been lucky to visit different lodges in different provinces, and more recently went camping with a crèche friend and his dad (that is a tale for another time) in the Cederberg. And each time he asks more questions – as all readers of this magazine will know – starting with the ubiquitous, “Daddy, why?”. *Sandhurst – that establishment where the male offspring of the royals go to prepare themselves for their forthcoming obligatory duties, like Prince Andrew in the Falklands and his nephew Harry in Afghanistan…

He loved the boma – including the fireplace

things to know Where The Timbavati Reserve, in Limpopo province, forms part of the Greater Kruger National Park and lies nestled between the Kruger National Park in the east, the Klaserie and Umbabat Private Nature Reserves in the north and the Thornybush Private Nature Reserve in the west. As there are no fences between the Kruger National Park and Timbavati, the reserve enjoys a wide variety of game, including the big five.

When The Timbavati gets about 550mm to 600mm of rain per annum, with the wet season occurring from November to March. Summers are hot with a maximum temperature of 38°C in the months of January to April. Because of the summer rainfall, the bush comes alive, but the thicker foliage restricts game viewing.

The best time of year to visit is winter, for better game viewing and mild day temperatures, though nights and early mornings are cold.

Famous for Timbavati is best known for its white lion population, which was discovered in the 1970s. These white coats are not because of albinism, but from a condition called “leucism”, in which the pelt is white but the eyes and skin are pigmented.

Malaria Since malaria does occur in the Timbavati region, particularly in the summer months, visitors are advised to take prophylactics (speak to your healthcare professional first). However, there are a few simple precautions for protection against mosquito bites. Apply mosquito repellent, especially around sunset, and particularly on the feet and ankles. In the evenings the arms and ankles should be covered by wearing socks and shoes and a light, cotton long-sleeve shirt. Mosquitoes are mostly active at night, so the use of mosquito repellent is essential. Mosquitoes also find it difficult to settle in a breeze, so leaving the ceiling fan on at night keeps them away.

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parenting

it’s who they are

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RUTH REHBOCK emphasises that you cannot mould your child into something they are not.

hen I first thought about what a well-rounded child would be like, I realised it’s a tough topic to cover. Is everyone’s view of “well-rounded” the same?

Do we, as parents, consciously think about how we can make our children well-rounded individuals? I know I didn’t think about it when he was a baby and it was only once he went to junior school that I realised I had a few hurdles to jump.

Like any mom, I want him not to be shy and quiet, to socialise easily and to love being physical. In short, everything I had not been. I wanted him to enjoy soccer and cricket, to love playing “rough and tumble” with other boys and to want to sing in a choir. Of course, I had lessons to learn. He did not want to do any of these things I thought would make him wellrounded and it got me wondering about my own parents’ expectations of their children.

Luckily, it only took a year of Grade 1 to realise he won’t be the boy I want him to be. My job is to offer opportunities for him to explore who he wants to be and to support him when he feels he isn’t up for the task. He enjoys science, boxing, Lego and video games, and will probably never play a team sport, so I had to accept that it’s impossible to fashion your child into the kind of person you or your spouse want them to be.

An important part of being a well-rounded child, say the experts, is having good selfesteem, which teaches you to value people for who they are. Lee-Anne Eastwood, an

educational psychologist based in northern Joburg, whose work focuses on developing every child’s potential, says, “Well-rounded children tend to appreciate other children and people for who they are, rather than for a specific ability they have. They also tend to see themselves as inherently worthwhile rather than placing their value on a specific activity in which they excel. Both are vital to a healthy perception of themselves, which promotes healthy relationships with others.”

Susan Stiffelman, an educational psychologist and author, says, “The goal as a parent is to help your child feel competent and confident, and to help her develop a sense of passion and purpose.” Thus, the process of becoming a wellrounded individual begins at home, but must be continued at school through academic and extramural activities.

It’s through taking a risk, whether it’s learning tennis, playing in a band or doing science experiments that children will learn that they can cope with the challenge of learning something new. Psychologists agree that it’s critical to experience a variety of activities other than those in which they excel. “If a child shows talent or specific skills involved in an activity like drawing, for instance, and he focuses all his time and energy on that, he may never experience doing an activity purely because it is enjoyable, whether he is good at it or not,” says Eastwood. “It’s about taking pleasure in the process of ‘doing’ rather than in one’s performance,” she says.

The goal as a parent is to help your child feel competent and confident, and to help her develop a sense of passion and purpose.

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parenting

just do it One area that all schools include in the curriculum is physical activity, which is critical to mental and physical health, no matter your age. Most children are naturally physical and energetic, therefore teachers and parents can channel that energy into sport through emphasising the pleasure of going outside to play games or run races.

Although many South African schools’ team sports are gender-based, girls and boys can get involved with athletics, swimming, hockey, chess and tennis. Sandy Smith, principal at Kenridge Primary School in Cape Town, says they try not to favour one sport above another. They always give recognition where it is due and encourage all children to get into sport. “Of course, we want our children to do well at everything they do though.

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We also teach them it’s not always about winning, or being the best, but about one’s own gratification and personal sense of achievement. We encourage them to try their best, yet we don’t want them to feel devastated if they don’t come first,” says Smith. Clinical psychologist Jaydon Immerman, who works with schoolchildren and whose aim is to develop their coping skills, says, “When your child starts doing sport, get him to focus on having fun, rather than on winning. Competitive sport can happen much later.”

What’s more, don’t push your child into team sports. He may prefer individual sports like boxing, swimming or golf; or other activities like music, art or drama. Immerman emphasises that it’s important to give your child a range of experiences and opportunities that will develop his inner talents and not inhibit his confidence.

Experts also agree that sport improves your quality of life – physically, psychologically and even socially. Sport improves confidence and provides enjoyment and fulfilment.

It also teaches children valuable life lessons: the importance of hard work, discipline and commitment, while team sport improves communication and develops a sense of responsibility.

They also acknowledge that family and their schooling should always come first and that putting pressure on a child to do sport will cause stress and, in all likelihood, turn them off sport for life, says Immerman.

At Kenridge Primary School the emphasis is not on success but on helping children to explore their talents and their potential through a range of extramurals. “I believe we need to accept that children are individuals with their unique talents and need to be guided to make good choices,” says Smith. “Over the years I have seen parents fall into the trap of trying to live their lives through their children, which has a very negative effect on children.

Only when truly accepting children for who they are, can parents support their children.

As adults, it’s up to us to guide children so they can make educated decisions, and we must support them through the process,” she adds. We can never say our child “let us

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down”, because whatever they do is about their interests, talents and challenges, and not about ours at all.

The good news is that children are exploring avenues previously not open to them.

Smith says that more girls take dancing and choir, but many more boys now do drama and music. “The boys particularly enjoy drums, guitar and keyboard lessons, because these instruments are ‘cool’.”

giving to others “One of the greatest gifts that a parent can give their child is a sense of what they can do for others,” says Eastwood. Even preschoolers can help clear out toys they no longer need. Parents can also encourage older children, if they get pocket money, to donate to a charity of their choice. “I feel that giving back to the community is really important because children need to be actively involved in making the world a better place for all. But don’t force the issue – it must become a natural part of your child’s life. If children support causes with which they can identify, charity will seem relevant and they’ll get much more satisfaction out of giving,” says Smith.

what to aim for A well-rounded child, therefore, is one who is confident, adaptable and able to socialise with his peers. It also means he is comfortable expressing his feelings, fits in well at school and within the family, and is relaxed enough to explore different facets of his personality.

My son loves playing the game Tron: Legacy, conquering the electronic landscape and slaying maladaptive programmes. On occasion he also takes all his bears and soft toys outside for a picnic, which makes me smile every time.

One writer believes that showing children there are different facets of life is a good way to create a well-rounded child. KW Callahan, in his article, “Attempting to Raise a Well-

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Rounded Child”, says that children should be exposed to “urban” and “rural” activities and these can be enjoyed in the country and in the city. He says showing children the reality of those who are wealthy versus those who have little is very important too. Callahan also mentions there are two ways in which to be “educated” – formally, at school and being “streetwise”, both of which will broaden a child’s outlook on life and their understanding of others.

No child or adult wants to struggle with feelings of anxiety, trepidation and self-doubt when faced with a new situation. Fortunately, scientists, psychologists and educators now offer us the knowledge and insight we need to develop our children’s self-esteem and confidence, the most effective way to create a well-rounded child.

plant the seeds • S upport and encourage your child to try new activities, whatever it is: chess, scrapbooking, soccer, tennis, art or golf.

• Praise effort more than success.

• Don’t discourage your child from doing activities that don’t seem to “fit” the stereotype. Show acceptance and encouragement if your son wants to do dancing or drama. By the same token, allow your daughters the freedom to play soccer or chess or to be fascinated by technology.

• Encourage your child to have as many friends as possible, including those of the opposite gender.

• Teach by example. Choose a charity to which the family gives on a regular basis and get involved with charity drives at school.

• Most importantly, accept your child for who he is.

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health

midlife crazy Marc de Chazal looks at the health changes of midlife and finds out it need not

y

be a crisis if you follow a healthy lifestyle.

ou will likely start feeling your age as you approach and enter your 40s. I know I have.

I’m not sure if my hearing is declining yet (it will), but I’m straining to read the fine print on food labels, so my eyes have definitely started to weaken. Although people are staying healthy to a more advanced age, we’re all destined to experience physical, hormonal and even emotional changes as we get older.

Other than a decline in hearing and sight, as we age, we’ll also begin to experience a decrease in height, greying hair, an increase in wrinkles, a metabolism slowdown that can result in a middle-age spread, bone mass deterioration and a steady decline in strength.

Men will experience a gradual decrease in their testosterone levels, which tends to happen between the ages of 45 and 50. When this drop happens at a quicker rate, the condition is called andropause, but it doesn’t affect all men the same way that menopause affects all women. The decrease in oestrogen levels in women is what eventually ushers in menopause.

These hormonal changes in both sexes can give rise to moodiness, fatigue and nervous system changes. If we better understand what’s happening to us and what our partners may be experiencing, the health changes of midlife need not become an overwhelming crisis.

Research shows that skin ageing is affected by our genes as well as by external factors, such as overexposure to the sun. The intrinsic ageing of our skin usually begins in our mid-twenties when collagen production slows down. We’ll eventually see the visible signs of this ageing process in the mirror, as fine wrinkles develop and our skin becomes thinner and more transparent. A decrease in oestrogen levels, which often starts long before menopause, can result in drier skin and even acne around the mouth and jawline for women. Our genes control just how quickly these signs appear for each of us.

Premature ageing, on the other hand, is something we can control. External factors that will prematurely age skin include repetitive facial expressions, gravity, sleeping positions and smoking. “Sun exposure is the biggest contributor and not only causes the visible signs of skin damage, such as age spots and deep wrinkles, but also skin cancer,” says Dr Ishaan Ramkisson, a Durban-based dermatologist. “Skin cancer is the most common cancer in South Africa, but it is highly curable with early detection and proper treatment. If you notice anything changing, growing or bleeding on your skin, consult a dermatologist immediately,” he advises. Ramkisson also stresses the importance of using a good, broad-spectrum sunscreen all year round and wearing protective clothing and wide-brimmed hats when outdoors for extended periods.

As we age, our bones shrink in size and density. “We reach our peak bone mass at around 20 years of age,” explains Dr Stanley Lipschitz, a geriatrician in private practice in Rosebank, Joburg. “In the absence of disease, we maintain bone mass and bone quality until the 40- to 45-year mark, but natural bone formation decreases from this age.”

Menopause also contributes to a decrease in bone mass, which can make postmenopausal women susceptible to osteoporosis, a disease causing bones to become porous and prone to fractures. The National Osteoporosis Foundation of South Africa (NOFSA) reports that one in three women and one in five men will get this disease – potentially four to six million South Africans. “Women have a lower peak bone mass than men, so bone loss is

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

skin and bones

more problematic given that they may lose large amounts of bone in the first two to five years of menopause,” says Lipschitz. “Younger men and women can preserve bone by following a healthy lifestyle – a good diet with adequate calories, protein and calcium, moderate exercise, not smoking and moderate alcohol consumption. In addition, bone loss especially in later life can also be prevented by medication – calcium, vitamin D, hormone therapy, where appropriate and other bone specific agents such as bisphosphonates and strontium ranelate.”

NOFSA recommends that all women younger than 65, and anyone of any age at risk, have a fracture risk assessment done. Speak to your doctor about this.

spare tyres Men and women often struggle to maintain a healthy body weight as they age. Muscle mass naturally diminishes as we get older. If we don’t exercise enough and follow a healthy diet our body composition shifts to more fat and less muscle.

A woman’s hormonal changes in her 30s and 40s can also affect her weight. The most profound weight gain, according to the Mayo Clinic, happens in the years leading up to menopause, but is not inevitable after menopause. The reason is a combination of lifestyle factors and genetics. Excess weight gain after menopause increases the risk of high cholesterol, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes and cancer, notably colon and breast cancer. Research shows that gaining as little as two kilograms at the age of 50 can increase the risk of breast cancer by 30 percent.

Men today have about 20 percent less testosterone on average than men the same age did 20 years ago. The jury is still out as to the specific reasons for this, but there is evidence that suggests weight gain and a sedentary lifestyle have an influence. “Being overweight may result in a greater decline in a man’s testosterone, but the natural age-related decline in the hormone is not necessarily a reason for weight gain,” points out Dr Zaheer Bayat, an endocrinologist at Helen Joseph Hospital, which is attached to Wits University. “Genetic and lifestyle factors contribute to potential weight gain, so it’s important to watch what you eat and get enough exercise. A healthy lifestyle will actually boost testosterone levels, which will have many benefits, including fighting depression, improving cognitive function, increasing muscle mass and decreasing body fat, strengthening your heart and bones, and improving libido and erections,” he adds.

critical junctures The so-called midlife crisis is widely documented, but clinical psychologist and Unisa senior lecturer Dr Lesiba Baloyi says the phenomenon should be considered more of a defining moment than a crisis.

“In my experience, the psychological impact related to ageing is rather complex. It’s not a given that a man will turn 50 and suddenly adopt out-of-character behaviour or rush off and have an affair,” explains Baloyi. “It does happen, of course, that middle-aged men in particular, will try to find an alternative reality. The more common issue I deal with in my practice is the inability of men to adapt to their life changes, or what I call the midlife developmental stage. In these cases I find that there are far deeper issues than just growing old that need to be addressed. He may be experiencing irritability and decreased energy, possibly because of a natural decrease in testosterone, but an emotional distance from his partner is the bigger issue. It’s important to explore the underlying relational or emotional reasons for this. I strongly advise that people find ways of healthy engagement with their loved ones. There is no substitute for positive conversation,” he says.

Culture can further complicate matters for those of us reaching our middle years. Baloyi says that the concept of manhood in black culture is inexplicably linked to sexuality, so a flagging libido or erectile dysfunction can create more stress for black men, sometimes resulting in clinical depression.

live long and prosper Ageing is inevitable, but our lifestyle clearly impacts on just how healthy we will be into advanced age. Okinawans in Japan seem to have got it right. They have a history of ageing slowly and delaying or avoiding the chronic diseases of ageing. They boast more people over 100 years old per 100 000 people than anywhere else in the world. They also have the lowest death rates from cancer, heart disease and stroke, which are the top three killers in the US. According to the Okinawa Centenarian Study, the secret to their longevity is a combination of genetics and lifestyle factors. They eat fewer calories, resulting in a lower level of free radicals in their blood, which improves cardiovascular health and lowers the risk of cancer. They have 80 percent less risk of breast and prostate cancer and 50 percent less risk of ovarian and colon cancer. The traditional Okinawan diet is rich in complex carbohydrates and plant-based foods, and low in fat, and they stay physically active.

We may not join the ranks of the centenarians, but all the specialists consulted recommend that we pay careful attention to our lifestyle – following a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, staying physically active, managing our stress and keeping a positive outlook.

Regular medical checkups are also advised to ensure that any potentially detrimental health changes are detected early and treated. magazine joburg

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spotlight

GARY KOEN discusses the emotional impact that a divorce or an unhappy marriage can have on your children.

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result, make it difficult for parents to put their children’s needs first. In this respect, before deciding whether to separate or stay together, parents need to take stock of some basic truths. These truths apply to all parents, but perhaps those parents who are caught up in the bitterness, anger, sadness and regret, so prevalent during a divorce, need special reminding.

responsibilities Firstly, the one thing you are truly responsible for in this life is your child; irrespective of your job, the amount of money you earn or how many people report to you. What your children do with their lives remains your responsibility. You will always be either a mother or a father and they will always be your son or daughter.

You are inextricably linked forever to

whatever paths your child may choose. Be aware that at some deep undeniable level you have played a significant role in having forged that path. You cannot avoid this responsibility, because whatever action you take, it will have some significant bearing on their lives.

Children don’t choose to be born; they had no say in that decision. They are here purely as a result of a choice made by you. It is a child’s fundamental right to be looked after. It is not some favour we are doing them, nor is it a privilege that they ought to be grateful for. You are going to place enough expectations and pressures on your children as it is.

So, once parents are reminded about these basic, yet vitally important truths, they can move on and decide what to do about their marriage.

decisions When weighing up the pros and cons of staying together or separating, the first thing parents need to do is ask themselves whether they have explored every avenue to make their relationship work. How hard have they tried to understand what caused the breakdown? Can they say that the issues between them are so deep and insoluble, that the very best situation is to separate? Parents need to dig deep and look honestly inside themselves to answer these questions. Getting divorced is a hard thing to do. Divorce is difficult on the children, and divorce will be difficult on the parents too.

Parents must be careful not to delude themselves into believing that divorce is the easier option. If one considers the amount of time, energy, effort, commitment and

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

i

am often asked by parents who are struggling with difficult marital issues, whether it’s better to stay together and maintain the family structure for the sake of their children, or remove the tension and conflict by getting divorced.

My answer in each case is that at least their thinking is on the right track.

Ultimately, the right decision will enable them to be better parents. Unfortunately when it comes to divorce, the children are the ones who get hurt the most and the only way to minimise the hurt is to make them and their interests the main priority. However, a family is not like a block of chocolate that can be easily broken up and divided. A family is one of the central pillars around which most peoples’ lives revolve. When that pillar crumbles, the levels of pain and hurt that

sacrifice that goes into getting married and creating a family (energy that’s normally positive and fuelled by hopes and dreams), they must also realise that to undo this will take an equal amount of energy, effort and time. Also, the energy which fuels divorce is generally filled with sadness, anger, fear and worry.

Once parents have reached the painful conclusion that their marriage is damaged beyond repair, the next step is to discover whether there is a way to break the marriage without breaking the family.

Divorce means the end of a marriage, but does it have to mean the end of a family?

putting on a front The option of parents staying together for the sake of their children can only be properly achieved if they are capable of maintaining the essence of what represents a family. Parents cannot stay together if they are only going to look like a family.

They also have to live as a family. Parents need to seriously ask themselves whether they can stay with a partner they loathe, and yet simultaneously present the united front necessary when raising a family. A family is a dynamic entity. It is not static

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or placid. It moves, grows, demands and changes. The parents who stay together for the sake of their children need to be able to move, grow and adapt; and they need to be able to do this as a unit, not as two separate individuals. Parents who stay together for the sake of their children must not pursue a separate life while maintaining the illusion of being a couple, and believe that this will still be in the best interests of their children. A home is not a 24-hour fast food restaurant where parents can freely come and go whenever

When they become teenagers they tend to start digging in their heels, and so begin the confrontations.

it’s not only about you A crisis precipitated by a parent is one of the hardest things for a teenager to bear. Some crises may be unavoidable, and cannot be helped, be they a parent becoming critically ill, being involved in an accident, suffering personal trauma, or experiencing a severe financial setback.

All of these crises may lead a parent to

A family is not like a block of chocolate that can be easily broken up and divided. they want. Neither are parents free to seek out and have their own needs met elsewhere. Open marriages rarely work, but when there are children involved, open marriages are destructive. Children may be little, but they are not stupid; and they don’t stay children for very long. Parents need to be aware that when children are much younger, they are simply swept along by whatever maelstrom happens to be gripping their parents’ lives at the time.

become basically ineffectual in their child’s life, which can have a very negative effect on the adolescent. However, even in these circumstances, teenagers are generally accepting and understanding of these stresses if their parents are willing to acknowledge the difficulties and to talk to them about what is going on. The simple message is that even in a crisis, it’s a parent’s job to parent and do their best to clear the space so the teenager can carry

on living a full life. A parent’s willingness to engage with what’s going on in their child’s life, to own up and take responsibility for their child’s feelings and to understand whatever their children feel and say, can go a long way in resolving difficulties and protecting their relationship.

This however is very different from the parents who cause the crisis. A teenager does not need his parents to bombard his life with their breakdowns and issues. The decision to get divorced and to break up a family would certainly rank among the most disruptive events in any child’s life, but for a teenager the effect can have longlasting effects on their relationship with both parents. Often the frustration is simply the disbelief that two competent adults were incapable of finding an alternative solution. But the frustration can deepen and intensify if they find themselves having to deal with the emotional fallout that invariably accompanies these crises.

Parents need to realise that they can’t turn to their children for emotional support in a crisis that they have caused. This is hard for teenagers who are struggling with their own lives and identities. The last thing they need is to be thrust into

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spotlight

the role of caregiver. If a teenager’s life gets consumed by the ongoing emotional demands of their parents, it could lead the teenager into depression.

splitting sooner or later Similarly, parents who opt to stay together, despite their relationship being an empty loveless void, need to be sure that they can meet the demands of their children properly.

While they must not bombard their child’s life with their crisis, they must not fill it up with their emptiness either. Children, who grow up in homes where the atmosphere is filled with eerie detachment and chokedup bitterness, often struggle later on in life to identify and express their own feelings.

Sadly, some even express anger towards their parents for not having divorced. The charade can be more painful than the reality.

Also, parents who have managed to maintain the facade of a cohesive family until the point that there children leave home, are often shocked by the level of dismay and distress their adult children feel when they announce their divorce. While it is easier for grown up children to cope with their parents’ divorce, many still feel confused by their decision, and may even begin to question their own childhood; wondering what was real and what was a lie.

The decision to stay together for the sake of the children can only work if children are able to look back and feel that

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they had a good family experience, and that despite their difficulties, their parents really did love them and tried their best to offer them everything that they needed. If at a later stage of their lives they wish to separate, then it should be a choice that they are allowed to make.

However the same principle must apply to couples who decide to separate sooner. Often the issuing of a summons

has dissolved. It’s a working document, which evolves to the changing demands of the family. While a parenting plan is a noble and well-intentioned concept, the law itself does not effectively possess the language to properly describe nor account for the pain and suffering that follows the breaking up of a family. There is a gulf between what is legally sound, yet emotionally and psychologically flawed, which is why the

It’s a parent’s job to parent and do their best to clear the space so the teenager can carry on living a full life. for divorce amounts to a declaration of civil war between the two parental parties, and the children become the unwilling spoils. The family, once a hallowed and shared space, becomes a battleground where the lines between “good” and “bad” become blurred as children are pushed into “choices” in which they have no say.

Trying to steer a sensible path through this legal, financial and emotional morass is a hard thing to do. In 2005 the Children’s Act introduced the “best interests of the child” principle, which among other things requires the divorcing parents to come up with a comprehensive parenting plan. The parenting plan is a reminder of the rights and responsibilities that each parent will continue to exercise even after the marriage

idea of mandatory parenting classes for divorcing parents is mooted. The idea is to equip parents with an understanding of their children’s developmental stages, and to put in place plans to try and meet these needs. The primary goal is to help parents

put their own hostility aside so they can focus on the needs of a family for who they are responsible. In some American states, the process is so strict and comprehensive, that until each of the divorcing parents are capable of enjoying a family dinner without any incidents of abuse and tension, they are not permitted to get divorced. Some may also argue that a similar process should be in place before people decide to get married and have children.

The fundamental message for all parents who find themselves in this situation is that in many respects, a successful divorce takes as much, if not more, work than a successful marriage.

Giving up on marriage must not mean giving up on family. While the parents’ commitment towards one another may end, the commitment to their children and family has to remain as strong and steadfast as ever.

about the author Gary Koen is a clinical psychologist in private practice with over 20 years’ experience, working mainly with adults and adolescents. He also does presentations at schools on a range of teenage-related topics. These include all the general aspects of normal adolescent development. He developed and successfully runs a course, “An introduction to adolescence”, aimed at parents. He is also working on a book that deals with the challenges facing parents and teenagers and, as a father of three, he is heavily invested in everything he says. For more information, visit garykoen.co.za

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resource

free for all For those who can’t eat certain things, and those who

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com / NIKKI-LEIGH PIPER

can eat most things, there’s a recipe here for you.

Many children and adults are unable to eat certain foods for whatever reasons. They may be diabetic, wheat intolerant or need to avoid dairy. Child magazine puts together some tasty treats that are either wheat-, gluten-, dairy- or sugar-free or vegan.

muesli ingredients • 250g gluten-free oats • 200g mixed nuts (almonds, walnuts, Brazil nuts, cashews and macadamia nuts) • 75g mixed seeds (sunflower, pumpkin, sesame and flax) • 2 tsp ground cinnamon • 175g dried fruit (goji berries, cranberries and raisins) • 5 tbsp runny honey • 4 tbsp olive oil method 1 Preheat the oven to 180°C. Put the dry ingredients (including the cinnamon, but not the dried fruit) on a baking tray, drizzle with honey and olive oil, coat well and spread out.

2 Place the tray in the oven for 25–30 minutes, mixing every 10 minutes or so, until the entire mix is golden brown.

3 Remove from the oven, mix in the dried fruit and let it cool down.

4 Once cooled, serve with milk or your favourite yoghurt.

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tip: This recipe is gluten-free, sugar-free and wheat-free. Gluten-free oats can be found at health stores. Serve the muesli with fruit salad and fruit juice for a dairy free option.

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resource

rice paper wraps take a handful of: • sprouts • red and orange peppers • grated carrots • shredded spinach • micro leaves • plus two avos, sliced dip • juice of 2 lemons • 1 tsp xylitol • 1 tsp grated ginger • water • dash of chilli

method 1 Lay the wrap flat like a pancake.

Place about half a cup of the mixture on the wrap, just below the centre, and add two strips of avo per wrap.

2 Roll as you would a pancake until you get halfway, then fold the outer sides in and continue rolling.

3 Keep each wrap separate with cling wrap or grease proof paper. Put all in a sealable dish in the fridge for about half an hour before serving.

4 When serving, cut each wrap in half at an angle.

parmesan and parsley crust hake with mayo

for the mayo to go with the fish

ingredients • 4 boneless, skinless hake fillets • 2 eggs, beaten • 1 cup Corn Flakes, ground up in a mortar with a pestle • 1 cup fresh parsley, chopped • grated zest of 1 lemon • 1 cup grated Parmesan • olive oil

mix together the following • 4 tbsp mayo • 1 heaped tsp of wholegrain mustard • juice from half a lemon • the other half of the parsley

method 1 In a flat dish, mix the Corn Flakes, lemon zest, parmesan and half of the parsley together.

2 Put each fish fillet in the egg, then into the crumb mixture, back into the egg and again in the crumbs.

3 Fry the fillets in a pan in a little bit of olive oil.

tip:

This is a wheatfree recipe. You can use frozen hake fillets, which you will need to defrost about an hour before you cook them.

tip: This is a vegan recipe that is also sugar-, wheat- and dairy-free. You can mix and match the ingredients as well, adding in foods to suit your taste, while ensuring you get everything from your essential food groups.

lemon sorbet ingredients • 1½ cups water • 1 cup lemon juice • ½ cup fructose method 1 In a small pan, bring the water and the fructose to a boil. Simmer for five minutes until the fructose has dissolved, and allow to cool.

2 Stir in the lemon juice and freeze for an hour or two. When it is still soft in the middle, whisk and return to the freezer. Repeat every hour until set.

Alternatively, use an ice cream machine, or wait for the mixture to freeze, break into chunks and use a food processor to process until smooth.

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tip:

This recipe is dairy-free and vegan, as well as wheat- and gluten-free. You can also use other fruit juices or fruit purees and adjust the ratio of these and the water to suit your taste.

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lemon freeze

choc chip cookies

ingredients

ingredients • 50g butter • 60g castor sugar • 60g brown treacle sugar • 1 large egg • 1 tsp vanilla essence • 150g gluten-free cake flour • 1 tsp baking powder • 100g dark choc chips

• 1 tin condensed milk • 250ml cream, whipped until stiff • juice of 2 lemons • 1 box of gluten free chocolate chip biscuits, crushed to crumbs • knob of butter, melted method

1 M ix the melted butter and crushed biscuits together and place in a pie dish, to form a biscuit base. Put this in the freezer to solidify.

2 In a bowl, mix the lemon juice with the condensed milk. Slowly stir the whipped cream into the condensed milk mixture.

3 Pour the mixture over the biscuit base. Cover and return to the freezer. Keep this in the freezer and take out whenever you want a slice.

tip:

This is a gluten-free recipe. For the gluten-free biscuits, check the health foods section of your supermarket where they sell the rice flour, diabetic sweets and other specialised products.

method 1 Preheat the oven to 180°C. 2 Beat together the butter, vanilla essence, sugar and egg.

3 Add the flour and baking powder and beat again.

4 Stir in the choc chips and mix well.

5 Place tablespoons of the mixture onto a baking tray lined with baking paper and bake for 12–15 minutes.

tip: This is a gluten-free recipe. Replace the sugar with a sugar substitute such as stevia or xylitol and the choc chips with diabetic chocolate, chopped into smallish pieces, for a sugar-free version.

healthy recipes at your fingertips • G reen Market Baking Book by Laura C Martin – A collection of baking recipes that only use sugar substitutes, while also suggesting vegan, dairy- and glutenfree recipes.

• Herbivoracious by Michael Natkin – This vegetarian cookbook offers creative meals that provide the essential proteins and nutrients. Plus there are vegan and gluten-free recipes.

• Vegan Cooking for Carnivores by Roberto Martin – Healthy, easy and accessible vegan meals.

• Find vegan, vegetarian, gluten- and dairy-free recipes on the Jamie Oliver website: jamieoliver.com/recipes/category/special-diet

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books

a good read for toddlers Pip and Posy: The Snowy Day

By Axel Scheffler

Rosie’s Magic Horse

By Russell Hoban and Quentin Blake (Published by Walker Books, R102) This story is for children from the age of three, and begins with an ice lolly stick.

Its sweetness gone, it lies discarded, until a little girl called Rosie comes along. She places it carefully in her cigar box, full of other sticks. “Without our ice lollies we are nothing,” says an old stick. But this new stick wants to be something and into the minds of all the old sticks he plants dreams. And so, at midnight, magic and dreams collide and a horse called Stickerino gallops out of the box. Then begins an adventure like no other Rosie has ever experienced.

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Trucks

By Sarah Powell (Published by Priddy Books, R104) With flaps to lift and tabbed pages that are easy to turn, this book is ideal for all little fans of big trucks. This easy-to-wipe board book, recommended for toddlers from the age of two, will introduce your child to the busy world of trucks. Learn more about a digger, with builder Bill behind the wheel; a fire engine, with its special tools; a mail truck, with packages; a tractor, which farmer Steve uses; a tanker, with its driver Penny who delivers fuel; an ambulance, with nurse Jen treating a patient; a dump truck with Jeff on his way to the building site; and a delivery truck, which Bob is driving to help a family move home.

(Published by Nosy Crow, R159) It’s a beautiful snowy day and Pip and Posy can’t wait to go out and play. They have all sorts of fun, until they decide to build a snowman, and things start to go pear-shaped. Pip wants a snow rabbit, but Posy wants a snow mouse. An argument erupts and very soon both friends are cold and wet – and sad. Thankfully they can resolve their differences over a cosy craft session indoors. This beautifully illustrated book is recommended for children from the age of two. Axel Scheffler is also known as the illustrator from the very popular The Gruffalo series.

I am an Artist

By Marta Altes

an absolu te treasure

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R191) This is the perfect book for anyone who loves making art. Meet the boy who can’t stop creating art. He loves colours, shapes, textures, movement and everything inspires him: his socks, even his cat gets a new coat of paint. But there’s just one problem: his mom isn’t so enthusiastic. In fact, she seems a little cross. But this boy has a plan to make his mom smile. He’s about to create his finest piece yet and on a very grand scale. This is a sharp, silly, funny book for children from the age of three, which shows that art is everywhere.

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for preschoolers Magical Mix-ups: Pets and Parties Activity Storybook

By Marnie Edwards and Leigh Hodgkinson (Published by Nosy Crow, R120) Princess Sapphire and Emerald the Witch live in the mixed-up land of Mixtopia, where everything is just a little bit odd. Let’s face it: perfect princesses and scruffy witches are not usually best friends. It’s Sapphire’s birthday and she longs for a pet of her own. Emerald’s present is the next best thing – tickets for an amazing animal magic show. But the star, a performing cat, has mysteriously disappeared. Can the girls find her on their own? No, they can’t. They need your child to finish the illustrations and make sure Sapphire’s birthday is perfect. Girls from the age of five will enjoy the story, and there are loads of drawing activities to keep them busy.

Tricky Tortoise

By Mwenya Hadithi and Adrienne Kennaway (Published by Hodder Children’s Books, R89) When Elephant trods on Tortoise for the three hundred and thirty second time, Tortoise devises a cunning plan to teach Elephant a lesson. Most of the animals in the bush step on poor Tortoise from time to time, because when he’s asleep, curled up under his shell, he looks like a rock.

But Elephant is just so much bigger, and he doesn’t even bother to apologise, which makes Tortoise furious. So Tortoise arranges a competition, one with his twin brother in mind and, as all the animals know just how clever Tortoise is, they all turn up for the spectacle; very curious to see how tricky Tortoise proves that brains are often better than strength or size.

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The Name of the Tree is Bojabi

By Piet Grobler and Dianne Hofmeyr

My Monster Mayhem

By Anita Pouroulis and Sholto Walker (Published by Digital Leaf, R80) The little girl in this book has a big problem: her house is overrun with all kinds of horrible monsters and they’re getting her into trouble. She battles against them heroically, leaving lights on at night and splashing bath water to scare them away. But mom doesn’t understand why she behaves this way; she even thinks her daughter’s being naughty. Can you imagine that? The book has outstanding artwork, is powerfully imaginative and is great fun to read to your preschooler. Also don’t be put off by the monster element in the book. Little ones tend to be far more interested in the heroic actions of the girl, the storyline and the rhyming text.

go on a journey

(Published by Human & Rousseau, R145) The animals are very hungry, and then they see a tree covered in ripe fruits. But wrapped around the tree is the largest python they have ever seen. Python will only let the animals eat the fruit if they can tell him the name of the tree. Only the King of the Jungle knows, and he is far away. This is a story for children between five and seven, who enjoy silly names and rhymes. The repetitive element reinforces the idea of being on a journey and the power of the story lies in a little tortoise that offers the other animals hope.

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books

for early graders

for early graders

local gem

Dogtective William Travels the World

By Elizabeth Wasserman and Chris Venter

Atticus Claw Breaks the Law and Atticus Claw Settles a Score

By Jennifer Gray (Published by Faber and Faber, R99 each) Atticus Grammatticus Cattypus Claw is the world’s greatest cat burglar. He’s been hired by the fiendish Jimmy Magpie to steal all the jewels in Littleton-on-Sea. Atticus needs a temporary home, but when he adopts Inspector Cheddar and his family, Atticus starts to wonder if a life of crime is really for him? In the second book, the tabby with talent is on the right side of the law. When a mysterious villain and an evil cat called Ginger Biscuit busts Jimmy Magpie and his gang out of jail, Atticus knows from bitter experience that he’s going to need all his skills and courage to catch them. Can Atticus overcome his murky past with the help of the Cheddar family in order to prevent the biggest crime in history and settle a score of his own?

Princess Mirror-Belle and the Flying Horse and Princess Mirror-Belle and the Magic Shoes

By Julia Donaldson and Lydia Monks (Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R68 each) Princess Mirror-Belle is back and, once again, magically mischievous Mirror-Belle comes popping out of mirrors to sweep Ellen into hilarious escapades. Whether she’s telling tall stories about her winged pony, searching for a sea monster’s treasure or turning herself into a most unusual Sleeping Beauty, Mirror-Belle’s magical mayhem is packed with fun. Each book has five hilarious stories about a flying horse, a magic ball, a sea monster’s cave, an unusual pets club, a sleepwalking beauty, magic shoes, a golden goose, Prince Precious Paws, a witch and a test for a princess. These books are perfect for girls from the age of seven.

World Faiths: Judaism; Christianity; Islam; Hinduism and Other Eastern Religions

By Trevor Barnes (Published by Pan Macmillan, R80 each) In today’s world, where religious divides and cultural differences so often have tragic consequences, a sound understanding of the belief systems and practices of other peoples and cultures is essential. The four books in the World Faiths series: Christianity; Hinduism and Other Eastern Religions; Islam and Judaism, offer a simple and child-friendly introduction to religion around the world. The history and origins of each religion are explained, along with information about their calendar and festivals; places of worship; religious practices and their place in modern society. Solid facts, and text from an expert author, make World Faiths an invaluable resource for religious education for children from the age of seven.

The Smug Pug

By Anna Wilson (Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R104) Smug the pug is a clever dog that has invented a brilliant machine to help things run smoothly in the busy Pooch Parlour; the place where dogs get glammed up and mysteries get solved. Pippa Peppercorn thinks his invention is a great idea, but Dash the dachshund has his suspicions about the so-called doggy genius. Anna Wilson is the author of Puppy Love, Pup Idol, Puppy Power, Kitten Kaboodle, Kitten Smitten, Kitten Cupid and Monkey Business; all very popular with girls from the age of seven.

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October 2013

(Published by Tafelberg Publishers, R115) Adrian is 12 years old and an only child. He spends a lot of time with his dog, William, which the family adopted from the SPCA a few years ago. But only Adrian knows William’s secret: he understands human language and he can talk. William reveals this to Adrian in the car on their very first trip home from the SPCA. But Adrian learns even more secrets about his dog in this book, the first of a series featuring Adrian and William’s adventures all over the world. Under the pretence of going on a soccer tour, Adrian and William, who is a dog detective, make arrangements to travel to Istanbul where, in true espionage-style, William’s contact awaits. From there the hunt for the villain, Scurvy Scabscratch, takes them to Venice, Paris, Amsterdam and, finally, London.

for preteens and teens The Unicorn Hunter

By Che Golden (Published by Quercus Publishing, R107) The adults of Blarney have always lived in fear. The faeries of Tír na nÓg exist on their doorstep, and they could unleash terror on the mortal realm at any time. But 11-year-old Maddy is not afraid. The unicorn that holds the key to balance and peace in both worlds is injured, and Maddy knows she is the only one who can track down whoever hurt her. Can Maddy survive the force and cunning of the Tuatha, who rule Tír na nÓg? Or will she end up a mere pawn in their power games? Together with her cousins, Roisin and Danny, she ventures deep into the dark heart of the faerie world. This book is recommended for children from the age of 10 to 14 years old.

The Chocolate Box Girls: Summer’s Dream

By Cathy Cassidy (Published by Puffin Books, R121) Summer has always dreamed of dancing, and when a place at ballet school comes up, she wants it so badly it hurts. Middle school ends and the holidays begin, but unlike her sisters, Summer has no time for lazy days and sunny beach parties.

The audition becomes her obsession and things start spiralling out of control. The more Summer tries to find perfection, the more lost she becomes. Will she realise, with the help of the boy who wants more than friendship, that dreams come in all shapes and sizes? This is the third musthave title in this series, which is very popular with girls between the ages of nine and 11.

Lost Worlds

By Andrew Lane (Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R80) This is the first in a new series from the bestselling author of Young Sherlock Holmes. Calum Challenger is a boy with a mission: to track down supposedly mythological creatures and capture their DNA. But while Calum and his friends want to save these beings, an aggressive pharmaceutical company wants to wipe them out. In this fast-paced, high-tech story, Calum and a group of misfit mates – a computer hacker, a freerunner, an ex-marine and a girl with a very big chip on her shoulder – criss-cross the globe, desperately trying to stay one step ahead of their enemy. The book is recommended for children from the age of 11. magazine joburg

for preteens and teens

parenting books

Survive

By Alex Morel (Published by Egmont UK, R121) What makes you fight to stay alive? Furious and depressed, Jane is released from an institution for a rare visit to her family. But Jane has an escape plan.

On the flight, she is going to take a lethal dose of pills and end her pain forever. But the plane never reaches its destination. Jane wakes up amid piles of wreckage and charred bodies on a snowy mountaintop. There is only one other survivor: a boy named Paul. What starts out as a death mission quickly becomes a fight for life as the two struggle through snowstorms, starvation in a wilderness that is a vast and lethal force. Survive is recommended for children from the age of 12 years old.

Warp: The Reluctant Assassin

By Eoin Colfer

a brand new serie

s

(Published by Hyperion Books, R203) This is the first book in a new series for children aged nine to 12 years old. The reluctant assassin is Riley, a Victorian boy who is suddenly plucked from his own time and whisked into the twenty-first century, accused of murder and on the run. Riley has been pulled into the FBI’s covert W.A.R.P. operation (Witness Anonymous Relocation Program). He and young FBI agent Chevie Savano are forced to flee terrifying assassin-for-hire Albert Garrick, who pursues Riley through time and will not stop until he has hunted him down. Barely staying one step ahead, Riley and Chevie must stay alive and stop Garrick returning to his own time with knowledge and power that could change the world forever.

Whatever, Mom: Body Piercings and other Power Struggles

By Dr Linda Friedland

50 Things you really need to know: Happy, Healthy, Pregnancy

By Ali Monaghan

(Published by NB Publishers, R195) Is there a right way of parenting teens? And how can we find the resources in ourselves to get through this difficult time and bring our children up well? This is a practical and informative guide to handling the challenges parents face when their children enter this complex and transformative phase. Find out about how best to deal with the issues that concern you most as a parent, including communication problems, alcohol and substance abuse, teenage love and sex, bad manners, poor school performance, eating disorders, and internet and cellphones. This book is packed with common-sense from a parent who has been there herself.

(Published by Quercus Publishing, R129) Having a baby can be a daunting prospect, with a bewildering amount of advice and guidance to absorb. 50 Things You Really Need to Know: Happy, Healthy Pregnancy condenses it all into 50 essential pieces of information, giving you insider tips from real-life experiences.

From breaking the happy news to creating a birth plan, getting the best from your care providers to baby-proofing your home, and how to cope with everything in between (including your own mother) – this book will tell you everything you need to know about your pregnancy in easy-to-manage, bite-sized chunks.

for us a great read

The Little Coffee Shop of Kabul

By Deborah Rodriguez

Original Skin

By David Mark

The Science Magpie

By Simon Flynn

(Published by Quercus Publishing, R225) From the author of the breakthrough crime debut of 2013, Dark Winter, detective Aector McAvoy returns in a thrilling new case set in Yorkshire where a series of salacious murders has him on the hunt for a sadistic killer. Simon and Suzie are two pleasure-seekers defined by their flamboyant tattoos. Peter Tressider is a politician on the fast-track to the top. McAvoy is a policeman with scars to his body and career. Each is marked in their own way. And soon each will be branded by the same sinister foe. Half serial killer, thriller, half gritty police procedural, it examines the imprints that our darkest sins leave upon us, and just how far we will go to keep them covered.

(Published by Icon Books, R197) This is a hoard of fascinating facts, stories, poems, diagrams and jokes plucked from science and its history.

From the Large Hadron Collider rap to the sins of Isaac Newton, The Science Magpie is a compelling collection of scientific curiosities. Expand your knowledge as you view the history of the earth on the face of a clock, tremble at the power of the Richter scale and learn how to measure the speed of light in your kitchen. Skip through time with Darwin’s note on the pros and cons of marriage, take part in an 1858 Cambridge exam, meet the African schoolboy with a scientific puzzle named after him and much more.

magazine joburg

(Published by Little, Brown & Company, R125) In a little coffee shop in one of the most dangerous places on earth, five very different women come together: Sunny, the proud proprietor, who needs an ingenious plan, fast, to keep her café and customers safe; Yazmina, a young pregnant woman stolen from her remote village and now abandoned on Kabul’s violent streets; Candace, a wealthy American who has finally left her husband for her Afghan lover, the enigmatic Wakil; Isabel, a determined journalist with a secret that might keep her from the biggest story of her life; and Halajan, the 60-year-old den mother, whose long-hidden love affair breaks all the rules.

As these five women discover there’s more to one another than meets the eye, they form a unique bond that will forever change their lives and the lives of many others.

October 2013

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calendar

what’s on in october

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Your guide to a month of family friendly activities in your city. Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY.

12 sat

special events

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FUN for children

46

only for parents

48

bump, baby & tot in tow

50

how to help

50

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

Buggy Parks Enjoy hours of fun off the beaten track.

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October 2013

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

PediaSure Toddler Sense Seminar Spend a morning with experts and find out what makes your toddler tick.

Smudge Toddler Programme This interactive toddler programme includes various creative activities and messy play.

KidneyBeanz Trust Donations of crayons, colouring-in books, puzzles, soft toys, playdough, books and other items are requested for children with a life-threatening kidney disease.

magazine joburg

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

FOFS Family Day The park comes alive as families from all over Gauteng gather for a family day hosted by Friends of the Field and Study (FOFS).

magazine joburg

October 2013

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calendar

Galencia Property Derby Throughout the week the country’s top show-jumpers are competing over a treacherous course, testing both rider and horse, to make it through to the nail-biting finals that take place on Sunday. Ends 6 October. Time: 8am–5pm. Venue: Kyalami Equestrian Park, 1 Dahlia Rd, Kyalami. Cost: free, Wednesday–Friday; R50–R400, Saturday and Sunday. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

children in Grade 0–12. Time: 9am–10am.

Venue: Dainfern College, Broadacres Dr, Dainfern. Cost: free. Contact: 011 469 0635, tblyth@dainferncollege.co.za or visit dainferncollege.co.za Hobby-X Attend this showcase of creative craft supplies, materials, equipment and workshops to inspire you and get you started with your new hobby. Ends 6 October. Time: 10am–5pm, Thursday and Friday; 9am–5pm, Saturday and Sunday.

Venue: Gallagher Convention Centre, 19 Richards Dr, Midrand. Cost: adults R50, children 6–12 years old R20, children under 6 free. For more info: visit hobby-x.co.za

3 thursday

4 friday

Dainfern College open day Take this opportunity to see the school in action, find out what an education at Dainfern College is all about, and meet the principals, staff and pupils. For parents of

Movies on the Piazza Families can enjoy watching the animation hit Despicable Me and Grease during tonight’s screening under the night sky. Snacks and drinks are on sale. Time: 5pm and 8pm. Venue:

SPECIAL EVENTS 2 wednesday

Montecasino Piazza, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: free, parking R10. Contact: 011 510 7000 or visit montecasino.co.za Open day at Auckland Park Preparatory Join this independent girls’ school in celebrating their 92nd birthday with a splendid flower festival and a tour of the school’s facilities. For girls from Grade 0–7.

Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: Auckland Park Preparatory, 59 Twickenham Ave, Auckland Park. Cost: free. Contact: 011 482 3697, secretary@apps.co.za or visit apps.co.za Opera for everyone This forms part of a series of concerts to make opera accessible to everyone; from the opera connoisseur to first-timers – young and old. Time: 8pm. Venue: Joburg Pro Musica Theatre, 100 Christiaan de Wet Rd, Florida Park, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R120, students R90, children R50. Contact: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

5 saturday

4 October – Open day at Auckland Park Preparatory

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October 2013

A walk in the park During this weekend you can admire the art on display at the Artists Under the Sun open-air exhibition, take a rowboat out on the lake and feed the ducks. Also 6 October. Time: 9am–4pm.

Venue: Zoo Lake, cnr Jan Smuts Ave and Westwold Way, Saxonwold. Cost: free entry; rowboats: adults R7,50, children R5, minimum charge R10 per boat. Contact: 011 432 1482 (Artist Under the Sun) or 011 646 5803 (rowboats)

4 fri

Rage Expo 2013 The Really Awesome Gaming Expo (Rage) is a showcase of all the latest technology, computer and console gaming hardware, accessories, comic books, board games and more. Ends 6 October. Time: 10am–6pm, Friday; 9am–6pm, Saturday; 10am–4pm, Sunday.

Venue: Coca-Cola Dome, cnr Northumberland Ave and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding.

Cost: R70, weekend ticket R120, children under 6 free, NAG LAN ticket R400. For more info: visit rageexpo.co.za

magazine joburg

Dancers Love Dogs All the proceeds raised from this ballet performance go towards the sterilisation, vaccination and deworming of stray dogs. Time: 8pm–10:30pm. Venue: Promusica Theatre, Civic Centre, Florida Park, Roodepoort. Cost: R250 per ticket.

Contact: tina@dancedogs.co.za or visit dancerslovedogs.weebly.com KIA Cyclethon Get fit while peddling for a good cause. All the proceeds raised go to HospiceWits and the Smile Foundation.

Enjoy entertainment, spot prizes and there is a supervised children’s play area. Time: 7am–4pm. Venue: The Piazza at Melrose Arch, cnr Corlett Dr and M1 Highway. Cost: R150 per bike, per hour. To register online: visit melrosearch.co.za/cyclethon Open day at Seedlings and Flowers Nursery School Take a tour of the school, meet the teachers, staff and owner, and bring your children to play on the jumping castle. For children from 3 months–Grade 0. Time: 11am–2pm. Venue: Seedlings and Flowers Nursery School, 41 Keurboom St, Sundowner. Cost: free. Contact: 011 794 6410 or visit seedlingsschool.co.za

Spring farm to table Spend an afternoon in the countryside enjoying a farm-style meal made with locally farmed ingredients. Children are treated like VIPs with their own personal buffet, as well as pony rides, face painting and more.

Booking essential. Time: 12pm. Venue: Rem Portion 17, farm 534, Pine Valley Rd, Nooitgedacht. Cost: adults R330, children 8–13 years old R150, children 2–7 years old R80, children under 2 free. Contact: 087 310 3888, underground@theforum.co.za or visit theforum.co.za

9 wednesday The Faraway Tree Educational Play School open day All parents and toddlers are invited to view the school and make

magazine joburg

10 thursday Lollipop Nursery School open day Parents and children are invited to come and view the school and make use of the facilities. For parents of children 2–5 years old. Time: 8am–3pm. Venue: Lollipop Nursery School, 17 Pipers Rd, Douglasdale.

Cost: free. Contact: 083 474 9463 or karenchambers@wol.co.za World Sight Day Get your eyes tested to ensure the health of your eyes. It is recommended that individuals without eye problems get their eyes tested every two years. For more info: visit iapb.org

11 friday

6 sunday Music on the Piazza Spend the afternoon listening to Watershed. Goodluck performs on 13 October. Time: 12:30pm. Venue: Montecasino Piazza, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: free, parking R10. Contact: 011 510 7995 or visit montecasino.co.za

use of the facilities. Enjoy a muffin and juice while your little one plays. For children 1–4 years old. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: Faraway Tree Educational Play School, 7 Condor Rd, Douglasdale. Cost: free.

Contact: 083 234 4120 or farawaytree@ telkomsa.net

6 October – Spring farm to table

A quick tour of the universe Professor Derck Smits from Unisa gives you a whirlwind tour of the earth into the depths of space to take a closer look at the solar system, over a two-course dinner. Booking essential. For children 6 years and older. Time: 6:30pm for 7pm.

Venue: Eagle Fare Restaurant, Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden, end of Malcolm Rd Poortview, Roodepoort.

Cost: adults R135, children 6–12 years old

R75 (includes entrance to the WSNBG).

Contact: 082 671 8382/7, 083 414 9843 or visit eaglesfare.co.za Pet and Me Expo Lovers of fluffy and scaled pets can enjoy spending time in the puppy, fish and reptile zones, and cheering on the disciplined dogs participating in the FCI World Agility Championship. Ends 13 October. Time: 10am–6pm. Venue: Coca-Cola Dome, cnr Northumberland Ave and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding.

Cost: adults R80, children R50. Contact: 011 467 6587 or visit pet-expo.co.za

12 saturday FOFS Family Day The park comes alive as families from all over Gauteng gather for a family day hosted by Friends of the Field and Study (FOFS). The event offers loads of family fun ranging from magic shows to nature walks, a colouring competition, pony rides and a market. Time: 10am–2pm.

Venue: Sandton Field and Study Park, cnr Louise Ave and 14th St, Parkmore. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 784 1933, rosej@ tiscali.co.za or visit fofs.co.za My World Daycare open day Take your little ones along to view the school, meet the staff and teachers, and engage in some fun-filled activities. The school caters to children from 3 months–5 years old.

Time: 10am–2pm. Venue: 78 Worcester Rd, Parkwood. Cost: free. Contact Natalie: 011 447 9014, info@thisismyworld.co.za or visit thisismyworld.co.za

October 2013

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calendar

National Bandana Day Purchase your bandana and wear it with pride to help raise funds and promote awareness of The Sunflower Fund, an organisation that raises all the funds necessary to test potential donors for the South African Bone Marrow Registry.

Available at Pick n Pay stores nationwide and Round Table Southern Africa. Cost: R25. Contact: 0800 121 082 or visit sunflowerfund.org.za

12 sat

Nocturnal scorpion and spider walk You are welcome to enjoy a picnic before venturing off into the night with Jonathan Leeming in search of scorpions and spiders.

Booking essential. Outdoor activities take place every weekend. Time: 6pm–8pm.

Venue. Kloofendal Nature Reserve, cnr Galena Ave and Veronica St, Kloofendal, Roodepoort. Cost: adults R60, pensioners R50, children R25. Contact: 079 693 5608 or visit kloofendalfriends.org.za Piazza Rocks A mini concert featuring South African rock band Prime Circle, the Idols star Lloyd Cele and the Soweto String Quartet. Time: 6pm–9pm. Venue: Montecasino Piazza, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: R100 (includes a free drink). Book through the Montecasino Box Office: 011 510 7995 or visit montecasino.co.za

15 tuesday

Summerfield

Clean Hands Save Lives Global Handwashing Day encourages young and old to turn washing your hands with soap before eating and after using the toilet, into an ingrained habit to prevent unnecessary illness and the spread of diseases. For more info: visit globalhandwashingday.org

18 friday Grayston Prep golf day Join the school’s annual golf day and enjoy the prize-giving dinner afterwards. Time: 12:30pm. Venue: Houghton Golf Course, 2nd Ave, Houghton Estate. Cost: R2 500 per four-ball, includes green fees, halfway house and dinner for four players. Contact: 082 777 5608, tarrynp@graystonprep.co.za or visit graystonprep.co.za Illustrious King of Gardening Keith Kirsten has opened his farm for the public to view his magnificent garden. Choose from the glorious river walk, forest, veld and grass gardens or linger at one of the numerous benches surrounding the dam. You are able to preorder a picnic hamper and purchase locally produced organic products such as honey, breads, pies, beer, wine and cheese. Ends 20 October. Time: 10am–5pm.

Venue: River Lodge Farm, Beyers Naudé Dr ext, Lanseria, Cradle of Humankind.

Cost: R50. Contact: 082 689 0930 or visit gardensofthegoldencity.co.za

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October 2013

19 saturday Organic recycling Learn to turn your waste into food for your soil by using bokashi composting and earthworms.

Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: Colourful Nursery, cnr Christiaan de Wet Dr and Dolfyn St, Randburg. Cost: adults R100, pensioners and children R50, includes tea/ coffee and a light lunch. Contact Pieter: 011 789 1546 or Maria: 083 309 3204 Pick n Pay Women’s Walk Take part in the 5km fun walk to raise funds for the Pink Drive which provides free breast-cancer screening and education to women in underprivileged communities around SA. Everyone is encouraged to dress up for the best dressed competition. All ages. Time: registration from 7:30am, walk starts 9am.

Venue: Soccer City, Nasrec. Cost: adults R35, children R20. Contact: 0861 000 858 or visit pnptickets.co.za Printing with found objects Author and dye expert Melanie Brummer teaches you how to use household objects to make patterns on pieces of material. Children must be accompanied by an adult. For children 6 years and older. Time: 9:30am for 10am. Venue: Els Crafts, 68 4th St, Linden. Cost: R250 (includes materials, coffee and refreshments). Contact: 011 782 9947 or 083 629 8731

20 sunday It’s all in the genes On National Down Syndrome Awareness Day people are asked to purchase their supporter’s sticker and wear their favourite pair of jeans. Stickers can be bought from DSSA. Cost: R5 per sticker. Contact: 0861 369 672, dssa.odo@ icon.co.za or visit downsyndrome.org.za Short course in orienteering Grab your map and compass and set off on a treasure hunt. Booking recommended. All ages. Time: 8:30am–11:30am. Venue: The Campus Office Park, Sloane St, Bryanston.

Cost: from R30. Contact: 074 188 9250 or nickecooper@gmail.com

22 tuesday Mosaïek Expo Find high-quality home decor items, ladies’ and children’s fashion, toys, garden accessories, jewellery, and homemade confectionery. Ends 2 November. Time: 9am–8pm, closed on magazine joburg

Sunday. Venue: Mosaïek Church, Danielle Close, off Davidson St, Fairlands. Cost: free entry. Contact Sonja: 011 268 4784

24 thursday A Festa Portuguesa Enjoy the Brazilianstyle carnival, open-air markets, food, music, beauty pageants and a children’s activity area with a water-world and childminders.

Ends 27 October. Time: 12pm–12am, Thursday and Friday; 9am–12am, Saturday; 9am–8pm, Sunday. Venue: The Park, Emperors Palace, 64 Jones Rd, Kempton Park. Cost: adults R70; pensioners, students and learners R40. Contact: 083 449 2000 or visit afestaportuguesa.com

25 friday Banff Mountain Film Festival 2013 Experience the adventure of climbing, base jumping, alpine skiing, kayaking, mountain expeditions, remote cultures and the world’s last great wild places during the screening of this year’s documentary film festival. There will be one screening per day, each containing 11 short films.

Ends 1 November. Time: 8:15pm. Venue: Ster-Kinekor at Sandton City, cnr Sandton Dr and Rivonia Rd, Sandton. Cost: tbc.

Book through Ster-Kinekor’s Ticketline: 082 16789 or visit banff.co.za

26 saturday Beauty and Wellbeing Expo Learn more about the numerous products and treatments available in the hair, beauty, health and fitness industries, take advantage of the special offers, and learn a few tricks from the live demonstrations. Also 27 October.

Time: 9am–5pm, Saturday; 10am–5pm, Sunday. Venue: Gallagher Convention Centre, 19 Richards Dr, Midrand. Cost: R65–R250. Contact: 011 781 5970 or visit beautyandwellbeing.co.za

Baba Indaba A baby, toddler and parenting expo that brings the manufacturers, suppliers and retailers of baby care products together for parents and pregnant moms. Find everything from prams and baby joggers to vitamin supplements, vaccinations, toddler music, pool safety and video cameras. Ends 27 October.

Time: 9:30am–5pm. Venue: Sandton Convention Centre, 161 Maude St, Sandton. Cost: adults R60, children R20, children under 6 free. Contact: 021 689 3262 or visit babaindaba.co.za

Creepy-crawly hunt Explore the interesting world of insects, bugs and spiders at the botanical garden. Booking essential. Time: 9am. Venue: meet at the Nestlé Environmental Education Centre at the Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden, Malcolm Rd, Poortview, Roodepoort.

Cost: members: adults R30, children R15; non-members: adults R60, children R30.

Contact: botsoc@sisulugarden.co.za or visit sanbi.org Soulspace This unique spiritual festival gives you an opportunity to view exhibitions, listen to talks and participate in workshops and sacred ceremonies. The children’s programme offers a fantasy play area where they can participate in yoga, book readings, labyrinth building and more. Ends 27 October. Time: 10am–10pm, Saturday; 10am–8pm, Sunday. The children’s programme runs from 10:45am–5pm, daily. Venue: Kloofzicht Lodge and Spa, Kromdraai Rd, Muldersdrift. Cost: adults R125, children 4–16 years R75. Contact: 082 949 9449 or visit soulspace.co.za. Tickets can be bought from quicket.co.za

27 sunday Avon Justine iThemba Walkathon A brisk 5km and 8km walk suitable for the whole family, including your four legged friends, that aims at creating awareness of breast cancer in South Africa. Time: race starts 9am. Venue: Marks Park Sports Complex, Judith Rd, Emmarentia. Cost: adults R85, children R60, children under 2 free. For more info: visit ithembawalkathon.co.za Wild Kids open day On the last Sunday of every month this indoor and outdoor party venue is open to the general public for a whimsical day of zip lining, bouncing on trampolines, mountain biking, puzzle solving and more. Time: 10am–5pm.

Venue: Wild Kids Company, 20 Dove Rd, cnr Robin Rd, Benoni Small Farms. Cost: R30 per hour. Contact: 082 066 1964 or visit wildkidscompany.co.za

29 tuesday An evening with adventurer Riaan Manser Join Riaan Manser as he talks us through some of his breathtaking moments while on his journey around Africa on a bike; on a kayak circumnavigating Madagascar and around Iceland on a double sea kayak with partner Dan Skinstad. All ages. Time: 6pm. Venue: Killarney Country Club, 60 5th St, Killarney. Cost: R250, includes a light meal. Contact: 011 298 8500 or visit jhbchildwelfare.org.za

31 thursday

25 fri

magazine joburg

Howloween open moonlight tour The zoo comes alive at night with the howls and hoots of nocturnal animals.

The tour is concluded with a bonfire, tea, coffee, marshmallows and hot chocolate. Booking essential. Time: sunset tour 4pm–6:30pm, moonlight tour 5:15pm–8pm, night tour 6:15pm–9pm.

Venue: Joburg Zoo, cnr Jan Smuts Ave and Upper Park Dr, Parkview. Cost: R75–R95.

Contact: 011 646 2000 (ext 216) or visit jhbzoo.org.za October 2013

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calendar Coca-Cola Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, North Riding. Cost: adults R80, pensioners and children R40, weekend pass R200. For more info: visit photofilm.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science

31 October – Photo & Film Expo

Joburg Child Welfare fundraiser Tonight’s production of We Are The Champions is in aid of Joburg Child Welfare.

The tribute show features a 10-member cast, performing hits by some of the greatest pop icons ever. Time: 6pm–8pm.

Venue: Barnyard Theatre Rivonia, Rivonia Crossing 2, cnr Witkoppen and Achter Rd, Paulshof. Cost: R200. Contact: 011 807 6281 or therapist@skinsense.co.za Photo & Film Expo Africa’s largest photographic and film expo offers novice and advanced photographers workshops to refine your skills as well as the latest gadgets, software and techniques so that you can upgrade your gear or get started.

Ends 3 November. Time: 9am–6pm. Venue:

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October 2013

Hartebeesthoek Radio Astronomy Take a tour of this working observatory and learn more about radio astronomy and the space geodesy research currently being conducted there. Space is limited.

19 October. Time: 4pm–8pm. Venue: HartRAO, farm 502 JQ Hartebeesthoek, Broedestroom Rd, Krugersdorp. Cost: adults R45, students and pensioners R35, preschool children free. Contact: 012 301 3100 or visit hartrao.ac.za Musik + X This interactive multimedia exhibition introduces you to contemporary pop, hip-hop, indie and techno music from Germany in a fun way. For children 12 years and older. 5 September– 17 November. Time: 9am–5pm, Tuesday– Friday. Venue: Museum Africa, 121 Bree St, Newtown. Cost: free entry. Contact: exu@ johannesburg.goethe.org or visit goethe. de/ins/za/joh/ver/en11392118v.htm

classes, talks and workshops Depression in children This workshop teaches children to cope with life stresses,

to recognise feelings of depression and to know how to find help. For children 13 years and older. 12 October. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: The Academy of Light, 160 Coleraine Dr, Rivonia, Morningside.

Cost: R100. Contact: 083 677 1402 or visit madpups.co.za Magic Blox 4 Kids course This lifeskills course is designed to equip children with the necessary skills to overcome challenges in their lives, build selfconfidence, improve relaxation skills and parent-child communication, as well as learn to lead positive lives. For children 5–8 years old. 17 October–2 November.

Time: 2:30pm–4:30pm. Venue: Northwold, Randburg. Cost: R2 400. Contact: 083 325 6076 or visit magicblox.co.za Rice and all things nice During this class children learn how to make some delicious rice dishes that will impress everyone around them. 5 October. Time: 3–7 years old: 9am–10:30am, 8 years and older: 11am–12:30pm. Venue: Foodiction, 8 Anslow Crescent, Bryanston. Cost: R300 for non-club members, R250 for club members. Contact: 011 514 6745 or visit foodiction.co.za Sawdust and woodchips Tool Share Studio is getting ready for Halloween by making ghoulish decor fit for a Halloween party, wooden pumpkins, a cosy bird house and a jousting set. During a session, children learn how to drill, hammer, sand and saw. For children 5–7 years old. 5, 12,

19 and 26 October. Time: 10am–12pm.

Venue: Tool Share Studio, unit 6, Ferndale Commercial Park, Struik St, behind Home Decor Centre, Randburg. Cost: R350 per class, including materials. Contact: 011 791 7790 or visit toolshare.co.za Twilight Art Lifestyle Studio Join your little ones in exploring your natural creativity and build your self-esteem at the same time. On Tuesday and Thursday the classes cover ceramics and art, while on Friday you can take part in drawing and painting. Booking essential. For children 5–12 years old. Time: 2:30pm–4pm, every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Venue: 78 Judges Ave, cnr Elza St, Cresta. Cost: R300 per child for two lessons. Contact: 074 147 3362

family outings A picnic with a view After meeting your guide at Market on Main you’ll be handed a picnic basket and given a few minutes to stock up on delicacies. You’ll then head off to the 50th floor of the Carlton Centre. Booking essential. For adults and children 5–13 years old. Time: 11am–2pm, every Sunday. Venue: meet at Market on Main, Main St, Maboneng Precinct, Joburg CBD. Cost: adults R180, children R90. Contact: 072 880 9583 or visit mainstreetwalks.co.za Joburg’s Red Bus Hop on board the red double-decker, open-topped sightseeing bus and explore Joburg, with eight stops in

magazine joburg

the inner city and four stops in the south.

Until the end of October, two children under 18 years can travel free of charge with any full-paying adult in possession of a valid GeePee card. Time: 10:05am–5pm, daily. Venue: departs from Gold Reef City, Northern Park Way, Ormonde. Cost: adults R150, children R70, children under 5 free. Contact: 0861 733 287 or visit citysightseeing.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Adventures with Elephants Meet Chishuru, the elephant film star with a talent for identifying people by their smelly shoes. Or get a special photo taken of you sitting on Chova’s knee and watch how much water he can hold in his trunk during an hour-long interaction. For children 4 years and older. Time: 8am, 12pm and 3pm, daily. Venue: Adventures with Elephants, Bela Bela, Limpopo Province.

Cost: adults R475, children R275. Contact: 014 734 7730, 079 431 7655 or visit adventureswithelephants.co.za Douglasdale Dairy Tours Ever wondered how cheese is made or how a cow is milked?

Booking essential. For children 4 years and older. Time: 9am–12pm, Monday–Friday.

Venue: Douglasdale Dairy, Waterloo Rd, Bryanston. Cost: free. Contact: dairytours@ douglasdale.co.za Survival campout Learn how to make fire using only a flint; find food and water;

build shelters; make bows and arrows; set traps and acquire other skills that will help you to survive if lost in the bush.

Booking essential. For children 6–14 years old. 18–20 October. Time: 4pm Friday to 3pm Sunday. Venue: Kareekloof Farm, near Lanseria. Cost: R750, food and drinks included. Contact: 076 429 6739 or visit key2comms.wix.com/cashane-rangers Venomous Snake Show The Croc City guides discuss and show some of the venomous snakes in the area, and talk about their venom. The brave at heart even get the chance to touch a puff adder. Time: 9am–4:30pm, daily; snake show 11am, every Sunday. Venue: Croc City, plot 59 R114, Old Pretoria Rd, Nietgedacht. Cost: adults R60, children R40. Contact: 083 657 7561, 083 321 1016 or visit croccity.co.za

12 sat

markets B&B Norwood Market B&B Markets has launched a new weekly market situated on the roof parking of Norwood Mall.

The market offers a multitude of stalls selling various crafts, wares and food.

Time: 9am–4pm, every Sunday. Venue: Norwood Mall, cnr African St and Sarie Marais Rd, Norwood. Cost: free entry.

Contact Vanessa: 011 442 4488, vanessa@ craft.co.za or visit craft.co.za Blubird Wholefood Market Meet the chefs, bakers and micro farmers as you taste your way from stall to stall. You might meet Tino, who makes fresh pasta while you wait, Janine, the French baker with her croissants filled with marzipan and chocolate, or Elsa, the Ethiopian chef with plates of exotic

One10 beading workshop Children can create a piece of beaded jewellery or a decorative item during a two-hour workshop, held in a funky venue with an enclosed beanbag and pillow garden. Booking essential. For children 5–15 years old. 12 and 26 October. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: One10 Coffee Shop, 110 Susman Ave, Blairgowrie. Cost: R100, includes a refreshment and snack.

Contact: 082 377 7159 or oneten@mweb.co.za

flavours. Time: 9am–2pm, every Sunday.

Venue: Blubird Shopping Centre, Athol Oaklands Rd, off Corlett Dr, Birnam. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 311 4768 or visit wholefoodmarketsa.com Books2You Book Fair There are hundreds of books for you to discover, from blockbuster bestsellers to fantastic non-fiction. Every book you buy helps towards getting free books for your school.

31 October and 1 November. Time: 10am–3pm, Thursday; 7:30am–12pm, Friday. Venue: Parkridge Primary School, Vanderbijlpark. Cost: free entry. Contact: 031 705 7744 Eat. Play. Love Mother’s Market This market is aimed at parents, and offers stalls with baby and children’s products, food and activities for children. 26 October. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Eat. Play. Love Children’s Play and Party Venue and Coffee Shop, 3 Harley St, Founder’s Hill, Modderfontein. Cost: adults R30, children R15. Contact: 082 550 1659 or eatplaylovejhb@gmail.com Polkadot Christmas Market This Christmas market sells quality, locally produced products. Get your loved ones a truly unique gift, and enjoy a cappuccino and slice of cake in the tea garden. 29 October–1 November. Time: 9am–6pm, Tuesday–Friday; 9am–12pm, Saturday.

Venue: Bryanston Parallel Medium School, cnr Main Rd and Sloane St, Bryanston.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 278 0243

family marketplace

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calendar

on stage and screen L’Ocassione Fa Il Ladro Otherwise known as The Exchanged Suitcase by Gioacchino Rossini, is a comical tale about three travellers taking refuge in an inn during a storm, where they share their stories. 16, 19 and 20 October. Time: 8pm, Wednesday; 8:30pm, Saturday; 5pm, Sunday. Venue: The Greenside Theatre, 7A Chester Rd, Greenside East. Cost: R150. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or The Greenside Theatre: 011 880 5720 Pulling the strings Puppeteer Margaret Auerbach performs The Lost Spellbook, a puppet show in which the magician, Brimborio, needs to find his spellbook urgently so that he can enter a competition.

For children 4 years and older. 15 October.

Puppet shows take place throughout the month. Time: 3:30pm. Venue: Kinderspiel, 39 Greenhill Rd, Emmarentia. Cost: R50.

Contact: 011 646 0870 The Big Bad Musical Justice has caught up with the notorious Big Bad Wolf and he is tried for all his wrongdoings. Little Red Riding Hood, the Three Little Pigs, and others are at the biggest trial ever in the fairytale world. 11–13 October.

Time: 1pm and 3pm, Friday; 10am, 12pm and 2pm, Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Montecasino Ballroom, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: R50.

Book through the Montecasino Box Office: 011 510 7995 or visit montecasino.co.za The Frog Prince and Other Tales A selection of eight classic fairytales are brought to life by colourful characters, who sing and dance, to contemporary music, and interact with the audience. Children

are asked to help out and perform some of the roles. 2 September–6 October. Time: 9am and 11am, Monday–Friday during government school terms; 10:30am and 2:30pm, Saturdays and during government school holidays. Venue: Peoples Theatre, cnr Loveday St and Hoofd St, Joburg Theatre Complex, Braamfontein. Cost: members: adults R90, children R70; public R105; membership R90. Contact: 011 403 1563/2340 or visit peoplestheatre.co.za

playtime and story time Miniature steam train rides All aboard the miniature steam engine for a gentle ride along the 1km railway track. 6 and 20 October. Time: 9:30am–4:30pm. Venue: Len Rutter Park, cnr Louis Botha Dr and Golf Club Terrace, Florida Park. Cost: free entry, R5 per ride. Contact: 011 046 9179 or visit rsme.co.za Olivedale Library story time Children aged 3 and older can enjoy an engaging morning listening to stories. For children 3–7 years old. Time: 10am–11am. Venue: Olivedale Library, President Fouche Rd, Olivedale. Cost: free entry. Contact: 011 462 6285/6 Once Upon a Time Teller of tales Bradley Tyler has a vivid imagination, which transports children on magic carpet rides to the centre of the earth and over enchanted rainbows. Bring something to sit on. No need to book. For children 4–11 years old. Time: 2pm–3pm, Monday–Saturday.

Venue: Bordeaux South Park, Park Ave, Randburg. Cost: free. Contact: 071 723 0272 or craigbtyler@hotmail.com Time for tales Children 4–8 years old can enjoy a 45-minute storytelling session.

Time: 10am, every Saturday. Venue: Love Books, The Bamboo Centre, 53 Rustenburg Rd, cnr 9th St, Melville. Cost: free. Contact: 011 726 7408 or visit lovebooks.co.za

sport and physical activities

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sun Get bowled over Small group coaching teaches children all the basics of cricket through net and fielding sessions as well as match-related games.

Booking essential. For children 4–13 years old. 6 October– 24 November. Time: 3:30pm–5pm, every Sunday. Venue: Cricket School of Excellence at the University of Johannesburg’s cricket oval, cnr Kingsway Rd and University Rd, Auckland Park. Cost: R600. Contact: 0861 123 273 or visit cricketschool.co.za

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Buggy Parks Hours of fun can be had on the off-road go-kart track situated at the entrance to Ngwenya Glass Village. The village also offers candle dipping and sand art at Jock’s Studio, and a short tour around Gilroy’s Brewery. Bookings for Gilroy’s are advised. Time: from 8am, Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Ngwenya Glass Village, off Beyers Naudé Dr and R114, Muldersdrift.

Cost: varies. Contact: 083 285 8383 Children’s meditation class Draw out your child’s inner peace with fun activities, games and art, based on Buddhist philosophies. No need to book.

For children 5–12 years old. 6 October.

Time: 9:30am–10:45am. Venue: Vajrapani Kadampa Buddhist Centre, 4 Francis Rd, Blairgowrie. Cost: R15. Contact: 011 326 1982 or visit meditation.org.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Advanced organic vegetable gardening Take your gardening knowledge to the next level and learn about lunar planting, composting, organic pesticides and insecticides, and more. Booking essential. 13 October. Time: 11am–4pm. magazine joburg

1 tue

Boys in the Band Australia’s hugely successful show celebrates the world’s greatest hits from the most iconic boy bands of all time. From the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync to The Bee Gees, The Beach Boys, The Jackson 5, Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. 1–13 October. Time: 8pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 3pm, Saturday; 2pm, Sunday. Venue Joburg Theatre, Civic Boulevard, Braamfontein. Cost: R100–R290. Book through the Joburg Theatre: 0861 670 670 or visit joburgtheatre.com

Venue: Inner City Farm, Sandown. Cost: R650, includes snacks, tea and coffee.

Contact: 011 252 6653, 082 365 0050, linda@soughtafterseedlings.co.za or visit soughtafterseedlings.co.za Basic counselling training This course, which takes place over eight weekly sessions, focuses on developing basic, practical and theoretical knowledge of counselling skills. Starts 2 or 5 October.

Time: 8:30am–1:30pm. Venue: The Family Life Centre, 1 Cardigan Rd, Parkwood.

Cost: R2 800 (24 CPD points). Contact: 011 788 4784 or visit familylife.co.za Courses with Domestic Bliss Have your domestic worker trained on an accredited, comprehensive household management or elementary cooking programme to help ensure the smooth running of your home.

The courses both take place over five weekly sessions. Household Management starts 1 October; Elementary Cooking starts 2 October. Time: 8:30am–2pm.

Venue: Domestic Bliss, 235 Jan Smuts Ave, Parktown North. Cost: Household Management R1 950; Elementary Cooking R2 250. Contact: 011 447 5517, 083 525 4992 or visit domesticbliss.co.za Divorce-proof your children This two-day workshop is for separating and divorcing parents who want to learn how to develop resilient children. Space is limited. 5 October. Time: 8:30am–4pm.

Venue: 4 Protea Place, Maisels Chambers, Sandown. Cost: R2 500, which includes lunch, tea and a workbook. Contact: 082 853 2789 or 072 950 5673 Healthy-Kids Workshop Learn what you need to get your children eating

1 and 8 October – Introduction to the wonders of wine

magazine joburg

healthily and how to create fun spring lunchboxes. Booking essential. 5 October.

Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Bryanston. Cost: R100. Contact: 083 222 5482 or visit healthy-kids.co.za How to raise a reader An inspiring and informative talk is presented by the founder of Raising Readers, Marian Bailey.

For parents of preschoolers. 8 October.

Time: 7pm–8pm. Venue: Lollipop Nursery School, 17 Pipers Rd, Douglasdale.

Cost: R30. Contact: 083 474 9463 or karenchambers@wol.co.za Introduction to herbs An in-depth, hands-on, 16 module course on herbs, covers companion planting, natural insecticides, harvesting and drying, medicinal oil and vinegar, and more. Booking essential. Starts 4, 5 or 6 October. Time: 9am–1pm, Friday; 1pm–5pm, Saturday and Sunday. Venue: The Herb and Indigenous Plant Guild, 161 Rienert Ave, Kempton Park West. Cost: R250 per module, includes notes and refreshments. Contact Patsy: 011 393 3427 or visit patsyspotions.co.za Introduction to the wonders of wine Whether you’re pursuing a hobby or enhancing your knowledge for a career, this course encompasses topics like wine styles and the effect of wine on the taste of food; vineyard and winemaking practices, and how they contribute to making a quality wine. 1 and 8 October. Time: 6:30pm–9pm. Venue: The Michelangelo Hotel, 135 West St, Nelson Mandela Square, Sandown. Cost: R1 095. Contact: 011 024 3616 or visit capewineacademy.co.za Lifestyle enrichment workshop This introductory workshop will help you to balance your life and empower you and your family. 2 and 12 October. Time: 9am–10:30am. Venue: Parkmore, Sandton.

Cost R100. Contact: 083 256 4392 or zoe@ optima-perform.co.za Montessori information session Find out more about the Montessori training courses that are being offered in 2014. Part-time and distance learning options are available.

19 October. Time: 8:30am–9:30am. Venue: Buccleuch Montessori School, 35 Muller St North, Buccleuch, Sandton. Cost: free.

Contact Heidi: 082 900 3192 or visit montessorisa.co.za October 2013

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calendar PediaSure Toddler Sense Seminar Spend a morning with experts and find out what makes your toddler tick, how to experience stress-free potty training, tricks to feeding your toddler, how to deal with sleeping problems and more. 12 October.

Time: 8am–1:30pm. Venue: Rosebank Union Church Auditorium, cnr William Nicol Dr and St Andrews Rd, Hurlingham, Sandton.

Cost: R295. Contact: 031 262 4962, 082 467 8236 or visit toddlersense.co.za Raising children workshop A Parent Effectiveness Training (PET) workshop teaches parents practical communication and conflict-handling skills to guide them on their way to being successful parents.

5 October. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Hedgehog Meadow Nursery School, 18 King Willow Crescent, Randjiesfontein, Midrand. Cost: R50. Contact: 082 904 8127 or visit parents.co.za SASHG Biennial Congress This congress is for professionals who specialise in human genetics research, clinical application and diagnostics, as well as individuals and postgraduate students interested in genetics. 6–9 October. Time: 7:30am–5pm.

Venue: The Maslow Hotel, 146 Rivonia Rd, Sandton. Cost: R1 500–R4 500. Contact: 011 463 5085 or visit sashg.co.za The Work of Byron Katie This workshop using The Work of Byron Katie method will be facilitated by Jocelyn Jardine. Learn how to deal with stress, anxiety and depression and be your own teacher. Booking essential.

20 October. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: Randburg. Cost: R450. Contact: 072 202 6198 or theworkbodytalk@gmail.com

on stage and screen HASA’s Comedy Night Join The Huntington’s Association of South Africa for an evening of laughs in support of a good cause. 15 October. Time: doors open 6:30pm; show starts 8pm. Venue: Parker’s Comedy and Jive, Montecasino, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: R150. Contact: 083 555 7757 or visit huntingtons.org.za It’s My Culture South African comedian Trevor Noah performs his latest show with all-new material inspired by his travels abroad. 30 September–20 October. Time: 8pm, Monday–Saturday; 6pm, Sunday.

Venue: The Teatro at Montecasino, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: R120–R280. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com The Zulu Mbongeni Ngema’s new stage narrative, The Zulu, was inspired by the experiences he had as a child, listening to the stories about heroic deeds that his great-grandmother, Mkhulutshana Manqele, shared with him. 18 September– 6 November. Time: 8pm, Tuesday– Saturday; 2pm, Saturday; 3pm, Sunday.

Venue: Market Theatre, 56 Margaret Mcingana St, Newtown. Cost: R150–R200.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com TOEAC accordion duo Two Dutch musicians demonstrate their range, versatility and exceptional musicality as they perform on their custom-built instruments. 12 October. Time: 8pm.

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playtime and story time Smudge toddler programme This interactive toddler programme includes various creative activities from reading sessions to messy play, musical bumps and dough fun. Booking essential. For children under 3. Time: 10am–1pm, Tuesday– Friday. Venue: Smudge, 21A Valley Centre, 396 Jan Smuts Ave, Craighall Park. Cost: R80. Contact: 011 501 0234 or visit smudgeart.co.za

support groups

5 October – Brainbooster parent workshop

Venue: Linder Auditorium, St Andrews Rd, Parktown. Cost: R130–R155. Contact: 011 728 5492 or visit jms.org.za Verdi opera gala BTE VO1SS pays tribute to Verdi, one of the most influential and celebrated composers of the 19th century.

Verdi enthusiasts can look forward to a traditional presentation of the maestro’s sublime chorus works, ranging from his most popular works to the rarely performed.

11 October. Time: 8pm. Venue: Linder Auditorium, St Andrews Rd, Parktown. Cost: R180–R350. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

out and about Chantilly Networking forum Mingle and connect with women entrepreneurs and enjoy a high tea. The theme is Pink ’n Pearls in aid of Breast Cancer Awareness month. For ladies 21 years and older.

12 October. Time: 3pm–5:30pm. Venue: Bella, 66 Rivonia Rd, Sandton. Cost: R200. Contact: 082 653 5128 or sheil@ chantillynetworking.co.za Cocktails and dreams afternoon Indulge in an afternoon of luxury as you take a ride in a Lamborghini, Bentley or Lotus, sit ramp-side at an extravagant fashion show, have a quick massage and enjoy loads of decadent eats. 19 October. Time: 2pm–5pm. Venue: Imperial Collection, cnr William Nicol Dr and Bryanston Dr, Bryanston. Cost: R250. Contact: 011 361 6500 or carli@imperialcollection.co.za Joburg Bierfest Venture into the Bavarian Brauhaus to enjoy frothing bier and Bavarian food served by feisty fräuleins.

No children under 18. 10–13 October.

Time: 6pm–11pm, Thursday–Saturday; 11am–4pm, Saturday; 12pm–5pm, Sunday.

Venue: Montecasino Outdoor Event Arena, cnr William Nicol Dr and Witkoppen Rd, Fourways. Cost: R100–R150, R125 for five crowns. Contact: 086 1000 291 or visit bierfest.co.za RMB WineX A wide variety of premier wines have been gathered from around the country to tantalise your tastebuds and tickle your palate. Rub shoulders with winemakers and fashionistas, and clink glasses over olives and cheese. 23–25 October. Time: 5pm–9pm. Venue: The Pavilion, Sandton Convention Centre, 161 Maude St, Sandton. Cost: R130–R160.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

support groups Epilepsy South Africa Support groups for people living with epilepsy. Dates, times and venues vary. Contact: 086 037 4537, 011 816 2040 or visit epilepsy.org.za Lifestyle Enrichment Support Group This a support group for parents trying to maintain a balanced lifestyle while juggling the demands of family and work. Dates and times vary. Venue: Parkmore, Sandton.

Cost: R50. Contact: 083 256 4392 or zoe@ optima-perform.co.za Single parents support group A social club for single parents and their children, which meets and engages in various activities every month. 12 October.

Time: 1pm. Venue: varies. Cost: free membership. Contact: 076 054 5510 or visit soloparenting.weebly.com

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Brainbooster parent workshop Parents receive a few basic pointers on how the brain works, and learn how best to use the games and toys to enhance their child’s learning and developmental experience.

For parents of children 0–6 years old.

5 October. Time: 9am–10am. Venue: Hammets Crossing Office Park, 2 Selbourne Rd, Fourways. Cost: R100. Contact: 0861 077 777 or visit nanniesintraining.co.za Pregnancy yoga class Gentle yoga classes are tailored to the needs of pregnant moms. Time: 5:30pm–6:45pm, every Tuesday; 8:45am–10am, every Saturday.

Venue: Good Vibrations Health Sanctuary, cnr 9th Ave and Homestead, Rivonia. Cost: from R100. Contact: 076 081 7615 or visit yogamama.co.za Toptots term 4 begins Share and be part of your little one’s development while having fun with other moms. For babies 3 months–4 years old. 7 October. Time: varies. Venue: branches across Gauteng.

Cost: varies. Contact head office: 031 266 4910, 082 876 7791 or visit toptots.co.za

Cranio Kids Provides support for parents of children with craniosynostosis, which is the premature fusing of the skull sutures, which restricts skull growth leading to potential brain damage and learning disabilities. Contact Robyn: 082 601 8585, robyn.rondi@hotmail.com or visit craniokids.co.za Postnatal depression (PND) support group An informal get-together for moms suffering from postnatal depression. Share your experiences with other moms who has experienced PND, while enjoying a cup of coffee. Time: 10am–12pm, every Wednesday. Venue: near Northgate. Cost: free. Contact Nicky: 083 469 5454

how to help Helping SA’s cancer awareness campaign This non-profit organisation raises funds for children with cancer in state hospitals. The funds raised through this campaign are used to buy the children clothing (pajamas) and toys to keep their minds off what they are going through.

They are asking for donations of R100, in return for a cancer awareness brochure and a handmade ribbon. Contact: 011 025 6941, 081 703 6774 or visit helping-sa.co.za KidneyBeanz Trust This is a nonprofit organisation that supports children with life-threatening kidney diseases through education, occupational therapy, physio, psychology and dietetics. The trust requests donations of crayons, colouring-in books, puzzles, soft toys, play dough, books and other items to be given to the children to entertain them and keep their minds off what they are going through. They are willing to collect or you can drop the items off on the 4th floor, room 404 at the Morningside Mediclinic. Contact: 076 300 0036 or visit kidneybeanz.co.za Operation Smile Medical volunteers provide free surgery to children and adults with facial deformities throughout southern and central Africa. You can assist with monetary donations, by volunteering your time, or by getting creative and organising your own fundraiser. Contact: 021 447 3608 or visit operationsmile.org.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to joburg@childmag.co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971. Information must be received by 4 October for the November issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

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it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

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it’s party time

continued...

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finishing touch

make a date!

Despite the difficulties of taking a night off, ANÉL LEWIS knows the

a

Erin, Anél and Conor

n email popped into my inbox recently, informing me that “research shows that dating once a month significantly improves relationships”. It goes on to say that 92 percent of couples who make the elusive “date night” a priority have increased satisfaction in their relationships.

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With two small children under the age of three, our version of a date night is if we both manage to stay awake during an episode of MasterChef. Organising someone to watch the children and finding a night where one of us isn’t working late, takes about as much organisation and manoeuvring as one of Jacob Zuma’s cabinet reshuffles.

But it’s not only the synching of our online diaries that makes date night a bit of a pipe dream, it’s also the subtle mind games that Erin plays to make sure we don’t plan an escape sometime between her bath- and bedtime. She has gotten wise to our tricks and can sniff a date night a mile off. If she notices that I have not removed my shoes after coming home, she will quickly tell me, “You’re not going out, Mom. You’re here now.” Suddenly there’s 101 things I have to paint, read, see and do with her before I can ever leave the house again.

So we used to lie and say that we were going shopping. Erin bought it, for the first few times. But when we started forgetting to bring her something back from “the shops” she realised what we were up to, and now she insists on coming with us.

With our hopes of some alone time dashed, Craig and I started losing track of each other in the hurly-burly of supper, school runs and story times before bed.

Remember how a poster of the singer from that Norwegian boy band of the eighties, A-ha, could get your pulse racing? Well, trapped in the Groundhog Day of domesticity, all it took was for Craig to change a nappy, or offer to make Conor’s bottle, to get my heart beating.

I was okay with this diluted, rather tame version of romance. I mean, we’d had our wine and cheese picnics in the vineyards when we were still footloose and fancy-

free. Who said trying to make eye contact while our toddlers unravelled three rolls of toilet paper at our feet couldn’t be sexy?

And then that email arrived, reminding me that date night is not a “nice-to-have”, but a must-have to help us keep the flame flickering, and to make us nicer people again when we come home after “shopping”.

So now we make a concerted effort to set aside some time just for us. We’ve just given up on the elusive date night by settling for date anything – date mornings, date lunch breaks, even date five minutes.

Satisfaction guaranteed!

Anél Lewis can’t remember when she finished a plate of food, never mind ordered off a menu while out with her husband.

She’s accepted that the “date night” is as elusive as the yeti, and has settled for staring longingly into her spouse’s eyes, while the children eat their noodles.

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PHOTOGRAPH: STEPHANIE VELDMAN

importance of spending a few special moments with her husband.