Child Magazine | Pretoria August 2012

P r e t o r i a’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

bossing, biting, lying and stealing what’s really going on?

help, my child

hates his teacher

the education issue

www.childmag.co.za

August 2012

free

make a success of maths, music, reading and writing

health

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education

doors to knock on

entertainment

Fifteen minutes of reading with your child each day can expose them to one million written words in a year.

An inspiring thought, and just one of the statistics I picked up on the Nal’ibali website, which has the sole purpose of getting children everywhere to read. Encouraging children to read is really important, but so too is reading to and with our children. It all starts with a story…

Storytelling is an art that teachers, parents and children should explore and develop, even in educationally barren parts of South Africa.

Some of my happiest moments have been watching my daughters listen to my husband telling them stories of when “he was a little girl”. Seven years apart, yet they both fell for it over and over again and would shriek with laughter. Once they had settled down, he would regale them with the naughty things he and his brother got up to as children. The thought of having a mud fight inside Granny’s pristine lounge horrified my little girls – they could picture these naughty boys running amok and their Granny’s shocked face on returning home. And so the love of stories began in our family and grew as my husband progressed to the Harry Potter series, reading them all from cover to cover, in character, twice.

We owe it to our children to help them discover the joy of storytelling. Encourage them to make up stories, write them down and tell them. At the end of each day, why not also take 15 minutes to read or tell a story? You will be giving your child so much more than just a tale…

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Hunter House P UB L IS H ING

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • pretoria@childmag.co.za

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August 2012

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contents

august 2012

upfront 3

a note from lisa

6 over to you readers respond

features

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12 naughty or needy?

c hildren sometimes bite, bully and steal. Glynis Horning finds out what is age-appropriate behaviour and when parents should worry

14 extra! extra!

don’t underestimate the value of newspapers, says Tamlyn Vincent. It’s a very useful educational tool

regulars

16 out-the-box lunches

6 wins

some of South Africa’s favourite chefs present their creative lunchbox ideas

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best for baby – big enough for a big-boy bed

when should your child move from a cot to a bed? Kim Maxwell finds out

18 deal with it

Ruth Rehbock gives you advice on what to do when your child dislikes his teacher 20 sobering truths

teenage drinking stunts your child’s emotional growth. By Gary Koen

health

Lisa Lazarus looks at a genetic link to ADHD

11 upfront with paul

if you want your children to be well-behaved, you need to be the example, says Paul Kerton 22 resource – an added advantage

7 fact or folklore?

10 dealing with difference

Lucille Kemp looks at the latest research done around parabens

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Simone Jeffery has compiled a list of learning centres that will help your child excel at school

26 a good read

new books for the whole family

28 what’s on in august 34 finishing touch

maternity leave is not an extended holiday, says Anél Lewis.

It’s hard work

classified ads 32 let’s party 34 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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August 2012

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

St Mary’s School grahamdelacy.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

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August 2012

5

over to you

letters

my child labelled a bully I was summoned to the principal’s office as my child was supposedly fighting with other children. I was shocked and saddened to hear that a parent called in to complain and did not want her child playing with mine, because my child was “horrible”, “nasty” and “a bully”. How can a parent judge a child without getting to know them? The other child has told my daughter that she can’t play with them anymore.

My daughter is six years old and a bit on the wild side, but will never hurt someone on purpose. Because of the situation she no longer enjoys going to school. The teacher has already punished her for fighting and now the children are punishing her. Why do we teach children to dislike one another? My child has come home with scratches after playing at school, but I have never called the school to complain about it. Children sometimes have scuffles when they play, but soon order is restored. I am not saying fighting is okay, but parents should not make it worse by interfering.

There are so many teenagers who take their own lives because of being treated as outcasts at school.

Sandra

all-in-one magazine I just picked up the latest copy of Child magazine and am so thrilled to have found such a wonderful resource to get entertainment, education, décor and other fun ideas. My daughter is turning two shortly, and I am amazed at all the creative things available out there.

Kim Bower

the dolly debate continues In reply to the letter by Ingrid Dekker, in the July issue of Child magazine: I also have a 5-year-old girl who thinks that straight, blond hair is beautiful and she believes her afro is ugly.

I have been looking for a black doll to try and change her perceptions of herself.

Karabo Mabe There are hardly any black or coloured dollies in our toyshops. My daughter has asked me “why do all the

dollies have yellow hair? I don’t want a yellow-haired dolly, I want a brown doll.” This is the new South Africa and every little bit of change helps.

Mischka Spies I am a black woman who has searched high and low for black dolls for my eight year old daughter to no avail. I want so much for her to love her curly, kinky hair.

Gabisile

control internet access I would like to share my horrific story. A fellow classmate has sexually abused my eight-year-old daughter on play dates. It came to our attention that this girl has been accessing porn via internet searches at home and then role-playing on my daughter. Due to negligent parents, this child has now infringed on my child’s rights. My daughter is going for therapy because she is extremely uncomfortable and anxious. Please parents, pay attention.

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write to us Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters to:

or

comments

marina@childmag.

You can also post a comment online at

childmag.co.za

co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

wins

giveaways in august fun and learning special memories Edugrafix’s unique expandable albums provide parents with a fun, easy way to capture their children’s keepsakes and memories. The My First Years and My School Years albums provide space for photos, certificates, reports and titbits. Albums are available in 13 colours, English or Afrikaans and can be personlised. For more info: 012 361 3576 or visit edugrafixalbums.com Four readers stand a chance to each win a prestige expandable My School Years album, valued at R550.

Enter via childmag. co.za/wins-pta and use the Code “Edugrafix PTA”. Your details will be made available to Edugrafix.

Coral Moon specialises in décor and playtime products that encourage fun and learning in children. Makedo products are innovative sets of connectors that will get children creating treasures from everyday recyclable objects. They also stock Krooom and Wallies. Contact Lee: 083 304 4440 or visit coralmoon.co.za Three readers stand a chance to each win a Makedo Kit, a medium Wallies Mural, and Krooom calendar and wall pockets, valued at R700. Enter via childmag.co.za/wins-pta and use the code “Coral Moon PTA”. Your details will be made available to Coral Moon.

to enter simply visit childmag.co.za

or post your entry to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Entries close 31 August 2012. Only one entry per reader.

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August 2012

congratulations to our June winners Celeste Tomlinson, Annie van Staden, Mariette Dry and Heidi Moeken who each win a wardrobe from Sticky Fudge; Anne Roodt who wins a toy set and a voucher from Polly Potters and Deborah Anne who wins a Beatrix Potter book hamper from Penguin books. The 25 readers who each won a month’s supply of SupaChewz, have been notified.

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health

fact or folklore?

The proposed dangers of parabens may be the product of paranoia or there

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may be some truth to the tale, but only time and science will tell. By LUCILLE KEMP

fter asking one of the most discerning people I know when last they consciously bought a paraben-free product and I got the answer, “Never. I only heard about parabens three months ago,” I was intrigued to find out more about this fear of the preservative found in makeup, moisturisers, hair care products, shaving products, and deodorants and antiperspirants.

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA), an independent agency responsible for protecting and promoting US public health through regulating and supervising everything from foods to cosmetics, received inquiries on the safety of parabens, and after an investigation, went on record stating, “Parabens are the most widely used preservatives in cosmetic products to safeguard against microbial growth, meant to protect consumers and to maintain product integrity.”

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

so what of it, then?

Parabens brought about controversy when research revealed that these preservatives were found in breast cancer tumours. Some studies found that parabens have the ability to mimic a weak form of oestrogen, a hormone known to play a role in the development of breast cancer.

There’s also been concern that the oestrogen-mimicking aspect of parabens may be a factor in the increasing occurrence of early puberty in girls.

Investigations have refuted these claims and this stance was backed by the American National Cancer Institute. The

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FDA says, “Studies and reviews on the safety of parabens used in cosmetics have been conducted over the years, with particular research being carried out in December 2005 to assess the safety for women and infants being exposed to parabens, and it was determined in all these instances that parabens are safe for use in cosmetics.”

Perhaps this is true, but many researchers refer to the research as “ongoing”, leaving enough room for concern to grow. The continuous need to review the facts through safety assessments dating as far back as 1984 to as recently as 2008, may seem like a smoking gun for many.

There are, however, no natural alternatives that can do the job that parabens do. Parabens are widely used simply because they’re effective, and they’re cheap and reliable, having been used for many years.

Perusing the South African National Regulator for Compulsory Specification’s (NRCS) website, there seems to be no red flag declared on parabens nor does it come up on Cansa’s watchdog list of dangerous substances.

Professor Michael C Herbst of Cansa confirms this, saying, “Cansa’s research operations committee has not yet accepted a position statement on parabens.”

control what you can Given that medical research has us constantly progressing, seeing to it that we know more today than we did yesterday, we may be correct in inquiring. While you might

be called alarmist, you’re certainly within your rights to take precautions. Cape Town-based pharmacist Peter Kruger says while there are currently no alarm bells ringing over the presence of parabens, there is awareness out there. “It is in the legislation that companies list their ingredients, so read the labels and look for parabens in the products that you buy and avoid them if it makes you feel comfortable to do so. There are many retailers that prefer to stock natural, preservative-free products.”

In the same token, as parabens aren’t officially harmful, make informed decisions when buying so you can be sure you’ve not been duped by clever marketing tools.

what to look for The most common parabens found in cosmetics are butylparaben, ethylparaben, heptylparaben, methylparaben and propylparaben.

further reading • NRCS visit nrcs.org.za • FDA visit fda.gov • Journal of Applied Toxicology visit onlinelibrary.wiley.com

August 2012

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best for baby

big enough for a big-boy bed KIM MAXWELL explores whether there is a right time to move your child from a cot to a bed,

m

odern parenting dictates that as soon as we’ve mastered the transition from babies to toddlers, we’re allowed a short reprieve to be entertained by our blossoming little people, before we’re subtly pressured by fellow parents or family members to think about the next milestones. For toddlers, these include building vocabulary, mastering fine and gross motor skills and the biggies: tantrums, toilet training and moving from a baby cot to a big bed.

each baby is different As a parent to a happy 20-month-old son, I haven’t given much thought to the timeline for our move. We have a bed available, but my son is a good sleeper who

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August 2012

seems comfy in his wooden cot. Also, his cosy extra-length baby sleeping bag keeps his body covered, but it would be impractical in a single bed. Joburg-based midwife Barbara Constantinou says that weighing up the individual needs of a toddler is important when making the move. Children’s and family’s habits aren’t universally alike. “From a year onwards children are fine to switch to a bed, but there‘s no rush,” she says. Possible triggers that spur on the move to a bed include the imminent arrival of a sibling, or a toddler that outgrows their cot or becomes more adventurous about climbing out. “A lot of bigger babies have sleeping problems because they turn and knock into the sides of the cot, waking themselves up. If they

have problems sleeping, rather move them to a bed.”

Constantinou says babies can sleep in cots until they are two years old if they are comfortable and sleep through the night. “But many two-year-olds can pull themselves right up from the sides of their cots, and might try to balance on their soft toys to get out,” she cautions.

smooth move Do move your child to a big bed if your family is expanding, but plan in advance.

Constantinou suggests making the transition two to six months before the arrival of a new baby, to ensure the older child feels settled. “If they’re under three years old, it should take less time to adapt.

But if the child is three years or older with a sibling on the way, they could be jealous of being kicked out of their bed for a new baby.” Another good time to move your child to a bed is if the family is moving house. “This is a good time to introduce a new routine as they’re going to be unsettled anyway,” says Constantinou.

Toddlers crave predictability, so maintaining a consistent bedtime pattern is important to ease them into the new bed.

Durban-based mother of two Tamsin Laight moved her son into a bed between the age of 16 and 18 months when he outgrew his cot. “He was more comfortable there, and excited about being in a bigboy bed,” she recalls. She used bed rails with both her children. Tamsin’s daughter

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PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

and what can make the transition easier.

Ella moved to a bed when she was just over one year old, as they didn’t have space to store both a cot and a bed in the room. In retrospect, Tamsin believes her daughter wasn’t emotionally ready.

“Ethan took a few nights to settle properly, and we haven’t had a problem since. Ella, on the other hand, took a few months to finally stop climbing out of her bed at night. We just kept putting her back; never in our bed, otherwise she wouldn’t get the message. I don’t know if the age difference or their different personalities caused that behaviour,” she says.

Durban-based nursing midwife Kerry Hodgson says toddlers should be sleeping through the night before the move. “It’s much easier to do sleep training in a cot than trying to sleep train and settle your child into a big bed at the same time, when they can get out of bed and come looking for you,” she warns. Make moving a happy event for your toddler; allow them to help select new bedding in their favourite theme by all means, but keep some familiar blankets or toys in the new environment.

Buying a big-bed sleep toy for the transition is another option. “Children are amazing in

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what they understand at this age so don’t ignore them during the process,” reminds Hodgson. “Explain in detail how things are going to work. Establish ground rules around waking up – do they come through to your bedroom or call you?”

And if you need to delay the big bed for practical reasons – your children are sharing a room temporarily and there isn’t space for two beds, don’t stress. Find an age-appropriate solution that’s a good

fit with your family’s living arrangements.

“If something is working for you, there’s no reason to change it and mess it up,” says Constantinou. “Only when you notice your child behaving differently, or their actions impact on others, do you have to make changes.”

safe and sound For your peace of mind, pushing the bed against the wall on one side is a

sensible and practical consideration, but Constantinou doesn’t believe special safety rails are worth spending money on.

“Children get their bearings quickly in a new bed. I’d just prop up pillows initially or push an old mattress near the bed. It takes three or four nights for most children to learn not to fall out,” she says. “Some moms worry that their toddlers are going to get out of bed, but that’s about setting boundaries around what is acceptable behaviour. Parents need to put their child back in bed, and repeat it until they learn.”

Hodgson says most children move to a bed between 18 months and two-and-ahalf years, and she is a fan of installing bed rails. “Moms come to me for consults until their children are two years old, and my cotto-bed advice is quite individual because I see moms as individuals,” she says.

for professional help For baby routine therapists that can help you in the comfort of your own home, visit, childmag. co.za/resources/home-help

August 2012

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dealing with difference

mean gene LISA LAZARUS discusses the recently discovered genetic link to ADHD.

making the connection Although she initially believed that the condition had passed her by, Tamsyn realised that this wasn’t the case when she started doing intense therapy with her son. She says: “They asked him, ‘do you count things in your head?’ and I answered ‘Yes’ for myself. After that, I started doing some research.” Looking back on her own childhood, a lot of things make more sense now – for example, the frustration of not being able to finish a task immediately.

According to the Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Support Group of Southern Africa (Adhasa), between eight percent and 10 percent of the South African population have ADHD – a term used to include ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) as well. The disorder appears to be almost twice as prevalent amongst boys as girls.

Mental health practitioners differentiate between three sub-types of ADHD: • predominantly inattentive with little or no sign of impulsivity and hyperactivity; • predominantly impulsive and hyperactive with little or no attention difficulties; • t he combined type – distractible, hyperactive and impulsive.

an “Aha!” moment In 2010, The Lancet, a medical journal, claimed to have found a genetic link to ADHD. Those with ADHD, they said, had more chromosomal structural abnormalities, specifically more copy-number variants. In other words, on certain chromosomes, genetic material had either been deleted or duplicated. Dr Lynda Albertyn, child psychiatrist and head of the Child, Adolescent and Family

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August 2012

Unit at Johannesburg Hospital, adds that even before the growing genetic evidence, which has been reported in the journals for several years now, there was convincing evidence from twin and adoption studies that ADHD is largely inherited.

Nine-year-old Tom* has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and so does his mother Helen, a graphic and fashion designer who lives in Port Elizabeth with her three children.

Like her son, Helen would go “into a daze and then wake up in a panic” at school. Frequently, teachers would report that she was not applying herself and was capable of more.

“I know what it’s like for Tom with the kind of daily battles he has to face at school,” she says. Yet Helen has made great strides with Tom: she has changed his medication (overly high doses of Ritalin were making him depressed, weepy and paranoid), she moved him to a more nurturing school and found two mentors to motivate him – Richard Branson and reality TV personality Ty Pennington, who also suffer from ADHD. According to Jessica Cheesman, a recent Masters graduate from the University of Cape Town, studies show that the average heritability of ADHD is 0.75. That means that approximately 75 percent of the cause of this disorder is genetic. During Jessica’s research on how mothers of children with ADHD experience stress, she found that many moms had an “Aha!” moment about their own mental health when their children received their ADHD diagnosis. “Often mothers would express how they saw features of themselves in their children, and this gave them some solace in their child’s diagnosis,” she says.

does your child have ADD/ADHD? Attention Deficit Disorder: • Often fails to pay close attention to details or makes careless mistakes.

• Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or activities.

• Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.

• Often does not follow through on instructions.

• Often has difficulty organising tasks and activities.

• Often avoids tasks that require sustained attention.

• Often loses things necessary for tasks.

• Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli.

• Is forgetful in daily activities.

The argument in The Lancet, however, has come under some fire. The BBC’s online medical correspondent Fergus Walsh says: “There is a danger in reading too much into The Lancet’s new research on attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.” Supposedly, children with ADHD were “twice as likely to have chunks of DNA missing or duplicated.”

However, drilling down into the numbers, around 15 percent of the ADHD children actually had the genetic variant – in other words, 85 percent did not, which “hardly justifies confident assertion that ADHD is a genetic disease.”

In response, Professor Thapar, the spokesperson for the research, said that the study aimed to remove the stigma associated with ADHD. The condition “could not be dismissed as being down to bad parenting or poor diet.”

getting a handle on it Albertyn states that there is promising research on the effects of the environment on genes. “Certain environmental factors such as birth damage or an adverse childhood can act on genetic vulnerabilities, which then lead to the development of a disorder. So, someone with a genetic predisposition for ADHD, who has firm and structured parenting, will manifest fewer symptoms than a child with the same genetic predisposition who is raised in a chaotic household.”

Despite the fact that the cause of ADHD is complex – most probably a subtle blending of genetics and the environment – parents of children who suffer from ADHD may benefit from looking at their own childhood. It’s possible that they will identify with what their children are experiencing. *Names have been changed.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: • Often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat.

• Often leaves seat in classroom or other situations.

• Often runs or climbs excessively in situations where it is inappropriate to do so.

• Often has difficulty playing quietly.

• Is often “on the go” or often acts as if “driven by a motor”.

• Often talks excessively.

• Often blurts out answers before questions have been completed.

• Often has difficulty waiting their turn.

• Often interrupts or intrudes on others.

• Often engages in dangerous activities.

From the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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or Tamsyn*, the most frustrating thing about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is “that feeling of your head never quite switching off.”

She should know. Like her 13-year-old son, this stay-athome Pretoria mother of two children, aged 16 and 13, also has ADHD, though Tamsyn was only diagnosed as an adult. Tamsyn knew from early, probably around the time her son started pre-school, that he suffered from ADHD. “This may sound presumptuous,” she says, “to know so soon, but I grew up in a house with an older sister who was diagnosed with ADHD. My folks didn’t simply put this down to middle-child syndrome or to being difficult or insolent. Instead, from the outset, they found help for her.”

upfront with paul

synergy PAUL KERTON says that harsh discipline is not needed when you install that moral compass and practice what you parent.

t PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

he mere word “discipline” is negative.

The very need to administer it suggests bad behaviour on the part of the child and lack of control from the parents. But there is good discipline – the setting of achievable moral and practical standards, and bad discipline. Bullying Victorian house masters stalking quadrangles in dark cloaks, brandishing canes and lashing out at measly minded pupils are long gone; now it’s the polar opposite – an acute lack of any discipline that has created a rash of lawless classrooms where little teaching is going on.

As parents we need to lay out the rules of the game as determined by our particular household, age, culture and religion, and let our children know why these are important. Once they can hold

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a proper thought, children need, and deserve, to know why they shouldn’t do something and should do something else.

Most of us use an arsenal of tried and tested psychological tricks to squeeze the best out of our children – a ruthless cocktail of telling-off, blackmail, light humiliation, threats to remove privileges and the sympathy ploy: “You made Daddy feel sad”. Teachers are advised to praise the positives and suggest smart alternatives to mischievous behaviour, although good old-fashioned detention still works. It is telling that we are keen to say “No” and “Don’t” but forget praise when a child does good, and I don’t mean just winning a race. A comment like: “Thanks for being so patient with your sister”, shows you noticed and genuinely appreciated it.

The best route is to instil respect for people and property (and themselves) by providing a loving, trusting, kind family environment from the word go, with yourself, hopefully, as role model. Children are watching and imitating everything you do, so it is no surprise that the child who hits and scratches at school, experiences heavy manners at home, whether from siblings or parents. Many a preschool play session reveals alarming as well as pleasing domestic scenarios to the teacher.

I don’t buy it, but some experts feel we should never punish, although any punishment should certainly fit the crime and the age. You can’t tell a 15 year old to go and sit in the naughty chair, but you can stop them from going to their BF’s party at a nightclub... which also illustrates

how you as a parent need to adapt your parenting style as children get older.

And while you might need to scream at a toddler to stop them wandering into traffic or striding towards a hot flame, that should be followed by a big hug, not a slap across the legs, and an explanation (at any age, for that matter), that you shouted because you cared for their safety.

You can’t fault children for singlemindedly wanting to do what they want to do and exerting their personality and influence over any situation. It is, after all, the survival of the fittest. Children generally are intrinsically good and want to please. They just need a sensible road map.

Paul Kerton is the author of Fab Dad 2: From Walking to Talking (... and Beyond).

August 2012

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parenting

naughty or needy?

From biting and bossing to lying and cheating, our children’s behaviour can embarrass us, and worse. What should we do about it, asks GLYNIS HORNING, and when should we worry?

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still recall the day a friend’s toddler sidled up to my sleeping four-month-old and sank his teeth into one plump pink toe. My son’s yowls were soon drowned by the toddler’s as my outraged friend planted several sharp smacks on his behind. “We don’t” – SMACK! – “hurt” – SMACK! – “people!” she admonished him. The contradiction between her words and actions stayed with me, raising a rueful smile.

Ten years on, her toddler had turned into a teen of distinctly bossy bent, who on his last visit reduced my quiet, easy-going son to seething frustration by dominating every game and insisting on having his way.

Later his mother called, voice tight with tension.

“Did your boy give Max* two music DVDs and a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards?” she asked.

A quick check showed them missing from his room.

“I don’t know what to do,” she sighed. “Is it hormones, or have I raised a delinquent?”

Hurting, bossing, lying, stealing – all inappropriate behaviour that seems especially disturbing in children, who we think of as innocent and sweet, yet is common.

“In the early years especially, children can struggle to separate fantasy from reality and accept family and social rules,” says Patricia Tau, an educational psychologist in Brakpan. They are self-absorbed and can’t always express or control emotions and impulses.

Thankfully, with the right guidance and maturity most grow out of it, says Tau and Durban clinical psychologist Ros Lowry agrees. “The key is to understand the reasons behind it and find and model appropriate ways to deal with it,” says Lowry.

esteem.” If the behaviour stems from stress (divorce, moving home, death), provide the security of a predictable routine.

Teach children to recognise and name their feelings, and express them appropriately using words, exercise, sport, dance or art. Explain: “It’s okay to be afraid, sad or angry; it’s never okay to hurt others.” If deliberate hurting continues, get professional help. (See “when should you worry?”)

dominating: bossing, bullying Why they do it: Domineering behaviour can come from an absence of authority, where a parent is away often or abdicates the leadership role. The oldest child or the one with the strongest personality will often play this part with siblings. This may not be a problem if the child has balance and maturity, but without these the child may use bossing and bullying. Busy, working parents or single parents can come to rely on the bossy child to keep order and may be reluctant to rein them in, leaving younger children feeling unprotected, cautions Tau. Bossing and bullying can also stem from authoritarian parenting – a child who feels dominated can vent feelings of resentment, helplessness, anger or fear by dominating others, she says. Bossiness is often a sign of insecurity, but sometimes it simply signals an assertive personality. If you help shape it, it can give your child useful leadership skills. But left unchecked it will alienate others and cost your child friends.

What you can do: If a child or adolescent is trying to run your family, even if you are a single parent and secretly welcome it, give them clear, consistent boundaries.

“Boundaries make a child feel safe and secure,” says Lowry. Tell them, “You’re a great help, but you’re not a parent, you’re my child.” If the rules are broken, enforce them quickly and calmly.

Best prevention: Watch interactions with siblings or during playdates, and if your child always dominates, take her aside and explain they could lose friends and respect.

Have a signal such as tapping her arm. Explain and calmly enforce the need to consider others’ feelings and needs, to ask nicely, take turns, and to not always have to win.

Above all, says Lowry, model them yourself.

Why they do it: Children between four and seven months often bite simply because they are teething and it feels good. They are too young to grasp the difference between chomping on a toe or a toy, says Tau. At around 12 months they discover cause and effect, and biting, hitting or pinching can be a way to get attention. This may also be a way to express anxiety or anger, she says, such as when they are separated from their mothers. For toddlers, who are learning independence, these behaviours can also be a way to control others – to make them move, or give them the toy they want. Older children using them tend to have trouble expressing feelings in words and asking for help.

They may also be acting out to relieve stress from family conflict, bullying, abuse, moving home or a death.

What you can do: “Never shout or lash out; it makes things worse,” says Tau. Comfort the victim then turn to the biter, speaking firmly but calmly. Just tell a baby “No”, and remove them from their victim. Look a toddler in the eye and say: “It’s not okay to bite/pinch/hit; it hurts.” Lead them away by the wrist and let them cool down for a few minutes. “There needs to be a consequence to any negative behaviour, a time-out or taking something away from the child,” says Lowry. “And whatever your family chooses, it needs to be

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Is it hormones, or have I raised a delinquent? consistent.” Explain to your child that you love them, but what they did was unacceptable. Give a hug and move on.

Best prevention: Be sure to notice good behaviour and reward it with attention. “Children have an emotional need to be acknowledged, heard and understood, and would rather have negative attention from being reprimanded or even physically punished than no attention,” says Lowry.

“Reward systems such as star charts are a great form of positive reinforcement that young children usually enjoy; they contribute to your child’s sense of competency and self-

deceiving: lying, stealing, cheating Why they do it: Children under three years old don’t deliberately deceive, says Tau. They are experimenting with words, and may lie to avoid punishment, but they don’t fully appreciate the difference between “yours” and “mine” when they take things and have yet to develop a moral code. Three to six years is the age of imaginary play, and children may make things up as part of this rather than intentionally deceiving. They’re beginning to respect things that belong to others, but may take or trade them without being aware of their real value. From around seven years old, children generally know lying and stealing is wrong and can be strictly moralistic, but may do it anyway to test adults’ limits or to copy other children or fit in with them.

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hurting: biting, hitting, pinching

insecure or inferior, says Tau. They may not be receiving the praise or attention they need, and may be afraid of not measuring up, and try to “buy” status or affection. They may also be depressed, she says, stealing to vent feelings of fear, anger or guilt over family conflict, poor school performance or losing a loved one.

What you can do: After age three it’s important to confront your child, says Tau. “Don’t overreact, simply say: ‘You’re not allowed to take what’s not yours,’ or it can become a habit.” Focus on uncovering their reasons and work with them on those. If they lie to avoid a chore or punishment, stick to the punishment and explain it would have been lighter had they been honest. If they steal to keep up with or impress friends, have them return the item and apologise, and give appropriate punishment.

Tell them, “We treasure trust and honesty.” Explain that values don’t rest on material possessions. Talk about what your family can afford, and help them budget, save or do chores or jobs to earn something they truly want, says Tau. Best prevention: It’s ironic that lying, cheating and even stealing is often rooted in children not wanting to disappoint us. “Make sure your expectations are realistic

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and that you aren’t being too pushy, looking to them to meet your needs,” Tau says. Tell them often that you love them no matter what, and that you value the effort they put into things more than the end result. When they make mistakes, break things or fail tests, don’t berate them. Calmly help them sort out the problem, help them understand what went wrong and learn from it. When they

when should you worry?

“It’s important to sift out what is developmentally appropriate behaviour from what is inappropriate,” says psychologist Ros Lowry. “The best advice is to trust your parental intuition – when things don’t feel right, they usually aren’t, and it’s useful to get the opinion of a professional who works with children.” Difficult behaviours may be symptomatic of underlying feelings or emotional difficulties that they don’t know how to express or that don’t make sense to them, she says.

But if the behaviour is accompanied by the following, it can indicate depression or psychological problems,

own up to something, tell them you admire their honesty and courage. Above all, model these qualities yourself.

If you’re caught speeding, let them see you admit it, apologise and accept the fine with good grace. If a cashier gives too much change, let them see you return it. And tell them how good it feels to do the right thing. * Name has been changed.

and you should speak to your doctor, school counsellor or a psychologist: • tearfulness, anxiety • irritation, anger • sleep problems • change in appetite or weight • hyperactivity • few or no friends • skipping school • shoplifting • damaging property • hurting animals

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education

extra! extra!

Newspapers have educational and entertainment value, which make them a nifty learning resource at home and in the classroom. By TAMLYN VINCENT

an unlikely teacher For parents and teachers in particular, the newspaper can be an especially powerful tool as it is like a living textbook. There is something new to read, look at, think about and discuss every day. Newspapers can add to the lesson in a classroom, form part of a child’s research material and add interesting ideas to daily discussions. As in a school day, a newspaper will typically cover a variety of disciplines, from business and finance to politics, entertainment and sport. Through the journalist’s required knowledge and understanding of the subject matter coupled with their flare for language and communication, your child will be constantly introduced to new words, terminology and concepts by reading the newspaper.

While 10-year-old Sadie was eating breakfast with her mom, she happened to pick up a section of the paper and read about how a government official used the opening of a hospital as a platform to talk about alcohol issues in the community. “Mom, what does platform mean?” Without trying to, the newspaper article raised the bar for Sadie and got her thinking about a word she likely would not have come across in her daily life.

Here are some creative ways to use the newspaper to teach:

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word games

Most newspapers feature crossword and sudoku puzzles, while some may offer easier games for younger children. They could also make their own crossword from words they find in the newspaper, and you could make it more challenging by giving the crossword a theme or telling them to only use verbs. Other word games include word searches, cryptograms – use a key to solve the puzzle – and word polygons, which is the use of set letters to make as many words as possible.

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scavenger hunts

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Children can use the paper to identify different types of punctuation. A useful activity is to give children a rewritten paragraph from the newspaper with all the punctuation removed. They can then punctuate the paragraph for themselves.

Compare this to the original, see if the meaning has been changed anywhere and give them feedback.

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pictures paint a thousand words

Children who can’t yet read can have fun looking at the pictures, “shopping” from adverts or looking for different items, shapes or colours. They could also make collages from pictures they find, illustrating things like meals they like or things they enjoy doing. School-going children can tell a story from what they see in an article’s photo. Political cartoons and caricatures often offer social commentary that older children can learn to appreciate.

2

Get children to search for different letters or words in an article.

Older children can learn to identify words from word classes by being asked to highlight all of the nouns or adjectives on a page.

ABCs

full stops and commas

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make your own newspaper

This class activity will task children with exploring newsworthy events in their class, school and community.

Interviews, columns, cartoons and entertainment news can all be included.

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geography lesson

Most newspapers will cover national and international news, so find articles from around the country or the world and mark these places on a map.

This will also give children a better understanding of current affairs in other places.

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talk about it

Newspapers offer plenty of discussion points, from current affairs to how headlines use certain words. You can look at why popular sports, entertainment or celebrity figures are always making headlines.

Also, discussing the advertising and how it works will make for an interesting conversation.

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adopt a pet Use the classifieds as a resource too. Children can find a pet they want to adopt, a house they want to “buy” or a career they would like to pursue. This gives children a chance to learn about themselves and their goals.

Ask children to find and cut out the letters of the alphabet from headlines. They can then find words or pictures that start with each letter and create an alphabet chart.

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To download these ideas, go to childmag.co.za/content/extra-extra

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

t

he first real newspapers were printed about 500 years ago. Back then the content was mostly local, but as production became cheaper, newspapers became more popular and expanded their reach. Today we have daily, weekly and weekend editions that cover local, national and international news.

While advances in technology mean the online newspaper has grown in popularity, the hard copy newspaper still has its place for many of us and is being adapted to suit modern living – you might have noticed that the Cape Argus has exchanged the cumbersome broadsheet for a compact A3 format. Other compact newspapers are Mail & Guardian and East London’s Daily Dispatch.

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August 2012

15

ideas

out-the-box lunches CHILD MAGAZINE asks some of our favourite South African chefs for their winning lunchbox ideas.

Bonello’s Biltong, Leek and Asparagus Quiche Justin Bonello chose to share his quiche recipe in particular because it’s so versatile and there are literally no rules. Also this particular flavour combo will double up as a clever coax to get them to eat their veggies. This recipe is from Justin‘s latest cookbook Justin Bonello Cooks… for Friends (Penguin Books).

For the pastry crust • 300g flour • 4ml salt • 100g butter • A splash of water Mix it all up until you have a stiff dough. For an extra boost in protein, add half a cup of grated Parmesan to the mix. Once your dough is ready, grease a round baking tin with butter. Take a ball of the dough and press it down with your fingers until you have an even base all round and up the edges of the baking tin. Blind bake for 5

minutes at 180°C to set the pastry. This will prevent the pastry from going soggy when you add the custard mixture. To stop the pastry from rising while you’re blind baking it, weigh it down with dried beans. I didn’t have any, so I just used a couple of baby potatoes – so much of my cooking life is ’n boer maak ’n plan.

Filling • 3 free-range eggs • 250ml cream • 250ml milk • Pecorino cheese – grated • A bunch of asparagus • A couple of leeks – chopped • A handful of moist biltong – torn into pieces • Crushed salt and black pepper to taste

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until you’ve got a rich custard. Grate in a handful of pecorino cheese and mix it around loosely. (The pecorino has a lovely dark and salty flavour that goes well with the biltong, but if your children don’t enjoy strong flavoured cheese, substitute it for one they’ll prefer.)

Trim the asparagus stalks and cook for a couple of minutes in salted water. Drain off the hot water, and refresh the asparagus in iced water for a minute or two to stop them cooking before chopping them up. Add the asparagus and chopped leeks to the custard and then take a handful of moist biltong and sprinkle on top.

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Pour the custard into the blindbaked pastry case and bake it in the oven at 180°C for half an hour or until golden on top.

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When you think it’s cooked, you can do the wobble test to check if the custard has set. Take the quiche out of the oven with oven gloves and give it a gentle shake. If the centre wobbles, it needs more time in the oven. The quiche is ready when the custard is firm but not dry.

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This is delicious served warm or cold with a dollop of chutney.

Justin’s latest reality TV cooking series, Ultimate Braai Master, is airing on SABC 3 on Thursdays at 8pm from 13 September 2012.

Crack the eggs into a bowl, pour in the cream and milk, and whisk it up

Jane-Anne’s Little Tuna Salads The hook to Jane-Anne Hobbs’ winning idea is that there is not a single frothing and overwhelming green to be found in this salad. These neat, individual tuna salads convinced her own children to give green stuff a try, and they’ve become dedicated eaters of salads into their teens.

You can pack these pretty salad rings

with everything from carrot sticks and cheddar cubes to nuts, seeds and any other nutrient-packed food.

• 2 large free-range eggs • 1 English cucumber • Iceberg lettuce, torn into small pieces • A handful of cherry tomatoes, halved • A can of tuna, drained of its oil and flaked • 8 Calamata olives, destoned and halved • 75g feta cheese, cubed • Chives, finely snipped For the dressing: • 4 Tbsp (60ml) olive oil • Juice of a lemon • A pinch of salt • 1 tsp (5ml) honey First make the dressing: whisk all the ingredients together and set aside. Slide the eggs into gently boiling water and cook for 9 minutes. Remove the pot from the heat and set it under a trickling cold tap for 3 minutes.

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Rinse the cucumber and cut a 5mm horizontal slice off the long side to expose the flesh. Using a mandolin or sharp knife, cut the cucumber into very thin horizontal slices, each about 1–2mm thick. Cut any leftover cucumber into matchstick-sized pieces, and peel and quarter the eggs.

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To assemble the first salad, place a large sheet of cling film on a dampened chopping board.

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On top of the cling film place a metal food ring (if you don’t have one, cut off the bottom of the empty tuna tin and use that).

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Firmly press the cucumber slice around the inside to form a circle (you

may need to use two overlapping slices, depending on the length of your cucumber).

Fill the cucumber ring with a mixture of lettuce, feta, cucumber sticks, tomatoes, tuna, olives, egg quarters and chives.

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Now very gently slide the food ring up and off, and pull up the sides of the cling film to make a neat parcel. Repeat with the other three salads. If you’re serving these immediately, assemble the salads on individual plates (without the cling film) and trickle the dressing over them. If you’re sending these to school in a lunchbox, put a little dressing in a small tub so your child can dress the salad just before she eats it.

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Makes 4 salads.

Jane-Anne is a renowned, independent food blogger and released her first recipe book Scrumptious (Random House Struik Publishers) in July this year. It can be found at all good book stores. She has three children aged 13, 18 and 20 years old.

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Sandy’s Sports Lunchbox: Fillet Pasta Tip: This pasta salad is really delicious if the fillet is medium rare to start off with. It is equally great as a warm dish, if preferred.

Sandy Harper came up with a lunch perfect for the active, carbo-loading child with the massive appetite. While the pasta is a complex carbohydrate, the addition of the fillet and pesto provides valuable protein, and the lemon juice renders the fillet easy to digest, as the lemon partly breaks down the fibres in the meat.

• +/- 10 Rosa tomatoes sliced in half and marinated in a sprinkling of sugar, olive oil and a few chopped purple spring onions.

• Cooked penne, al dente, moistened with ready-made basil pesto. (Don’t be shy; the pesto adds huge value in terms of flavour and nutrition.)

• Parmesan shavings • Fresh rocket Combine basil pesto penne, with rosa tomatoes (use all the juice) and fillet. Top with shavings of Parmesan or feta cheese and fresh rocket.

Sandy authored The Lunchbox Book (New Holland), which is available on amazon.co.uk. She has two children, aged 13 and 16.

• Four or five ( +/- 250g) slices of left-over cold beef fillet – sliced into thin strips and drizzled with some fresh lemon juice, olive oil and seasoned with salt and pepper to taste

The Giggling Gourmet’s Lamb Wraps Jenny Morris has come up with the ultimate in leftovers for lunch. As stipulated in the recipe, you can take lamb out especially for a few lunches or you can use leftovers from a roast lamb as you’re clearing up after Sunday lunch.

As you’re busy cleaning, scoop up the lamb remnants; create, wrap and pack it in the lunchboxes and pop it in the fridge overnight.

The lamb • 1kg deboned leg of lamb, cut into 6 slices • Olive oil • Salt • Freshly ground black pepper • 1 Tbsp cumin seeds • 6 tortilla wraps The salad • 1 red onion, thinly sliced • 3 spring onions with tops, sliced • 2 cloves garlic, crushed • 1 medium English cucumber, cubed

• • • • • • •

Zest of 1 ripe lemon 1 green chilli, chopped (optional) ½ cup freshly chopped mint ½ cup freshly chopped coriander ½ cup freshly chopped flat leaf parsley Salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 cup Greek yoghurt

Rub the lamb slices with olive oil, season with salt and freshly ground black pepper, and press into the cumin seeds.

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Heat a non-stick frying pan and add a little olive oil, sear the lamb slices on both sides, and cook till slightly pink.

Rest the meat and slice each of the 6 pieces thinly when the salad is ready.

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Mix all the salad ingredients together and place onto a platter. Top with sliced lamb.

3

Warm the wraps in a dry pan, place them onto a wooden board and let everyone fill their own with lamb salad.

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Serves 6

Jenny, the owner of CooksPlayground studio in Cape Town, is a Food Network host and her show is on DStv channel 185. Her third cook book, Cooking with Jenny Morris (Sunbird Publishers), is available at all good book stores.

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17

education

deal with it RUTH REHBOCK says that when your child tells you they don’t like their teacher, you’ll need to dig a little

i

decided I wanted to study medicine at age 12 and cherished the dream until I found myself in Mrs McCarthy’s science class. She was impatient, strict and unforgiving and, worst of all, we had already heard the story of the flying watch – she had thrown a watch out of the window after a pupil had glanced at it in class. I was terrified of her; I didn’t always grasp what she was saying the first time round and I didn’t tell anyone how I felt or what was happening. My dream of becoming a doctor started to recede and I felt wretched. Looking back, I realise that if I had only voiced my feelings and asked for help, I might have achieved my goal.

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It’s quite disconcerting, after talking to other parents, to find out a few people had similar experiences – teachers leaving scars on their psyches in some cases, but luckily, times have changed. Now teachers and parents are encouraged to build a working relationship so that none of our children “fall through the cracks” at any stage of their school career.

One trick that makes parenting less stressful is not to over-identify with your child’s emotions when they start to have problems. Try to remain objective so you can soothe your child first and then find out the facts before taking action. Melanie Hartgill, an educational psychologist in

Joburg says, “Parents must take their children’s complaints about school seriously, but also realise this is a child’s reaction to an event. Young children, and sometimes even those in senior primary, can’t always identify exactly what has upset them. Nor do they always tell the truth. The way to look at the situation is to be the ‘psychologist’ in order to find out what’s really going on.”

start talking If your child comes home and says “I hate my teacher”, the best thing to do is start a conversation with your child and get as many details about the situation as possible. Ask for examples of the teacher’s behaviour – it shows your interest, that they are being heard, and it gives you an idea of what really happened.

Parents need to realise that “I hate my teacher” is very often a cry for attention.

If your child is battling with schoolwork, feels stressed or has problems socialising at school, they could express it in this way.

Annalene Drapala, who teaches Grade 4 at Sunlands Primary School in Cape Town, is aware this kind of statement usually masks more complex emotions. “Children are impulsive and spontaneous so they blurt out something that will hook you – and teachers are an easy target. It could mean a child feels isolated, is being bullied, or is really struggling with the work or school routine.”

Drapala, who’s been teaching for more than 25 years, says parents must dig deeper into what is upsetting their child.

“I once had a parent who said hurtful and damaging things to me instead of talking to me about their child who was very

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

deeper to find out what’s really going on.

sensitive and felt neglected at home. The child was crying out for love and attention because Mom was getting married for the second time.”

However, according to experts, you have to adapt your responses, depending on your child’s stage of development.

Young children, those in preschool and a little older too, don’t often say “I hate my teacher”, but if they do it’s a fairly serious thing, say the experts. “You have to act swiftly if a preschooler doesn’t want to go to school and complains of aches and pains or drags her feet in the mornings.

Go immediately and speak to the teacher.

Children of that age ought to enjoy going to school,” says Hartgill.

In junior primary your child could still use physical “ailments” to get out of going to school, but may also say things like “my teacher is mean” or “my teacher is stupid”.

“Remain calm, start a conversation with your child by getting details and targeting your questions,” says Hartgill. “If your child says ‘I hate my teacher’, ask what happened before the teacher was mean to her and what happened afterwards. In this way, you will hopefully find out what really occurred. Then you can calmly decide what to do next.” Don’t push your child to open up, either. Allow your child the space

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to talk when they feel the need to do so.

Bedtime might be a good time because they are relaxed.

In senior primary, however, it may prove easier to find out the real story. At this age a child is more likely to relay the facts, often with less emotion. However, it doesn’t let you off the hook – it’s always your responsibility to listen to all sides of the story. Remember, teachers want the best for your child, so support your child without undermining the teacher’s authority.

was really struggling with Grade 1 but told her mom the teacher “always picked on her”. “I found out my child didn’t have the skills she needed for Grade 1 and was actually anxious and depressed.

After consultation with the teacher and the principal we agreed to send her for extra lessons with her teacher, and for OT, to get her up to speed. With support from me she started to feel more confident and has passed Grade 1.”

make it work been there One mom got the facts as best she could from her five-year-old and was able to help her son. In the last year of preschool, he got very anxious about going to school because his teacher shouted a great deal in the classroom. “I asked my son why he thought she shouted a lot and he replied that she was cross with the naughty children,” says Lesley Morgan from Joburg. “I made sure he understood she wasn’t shouting at him because he works hard and is a good boy. This made him feel more confident and secure and he gradually became less and less anxious.”

Another mom, Annemarie Simpson from Pretoria, discovered her daughter

Hartgill says it’s imperative to give children the confidence to cope with difficult situations. “We need to empower our children; simply removing them from the problem doesn’t teach them to cope with

problems or difficult circumstances, which are really important life skills.”

“Research has shown that children who acquire the right skills to cope with tough situations grow up to be more successful than those who don’t,” says Hartgill. “It’s usually not a good idea to move a child to another class because the situation will most likely repeat itself. It’s much more constructive to find out what’s not working in the relationship first.”

Experts also advise parents not to upset any of the teachers at school. Go to the class teacher first, then the head teacher and so on; going straight to the principal will cause animosity. You can also enlist the help of a school counsellor to assist in resolving the situation.

digging deeper Children may have other issues when they say they hate their teacher. Some of the problems may include: • Struggling with work or homework.

• An overly critical or highly strung teacher.

• B ig changes in their life that cause high levels of anxiety – moving house, death of a family member, divorce.

• Low self-esteem.

• Being bullied or having been the victim of abuse in one form or another.

• Your child’s and teacher’s personalities clash.

August 2012

19

straight talk

sobering truths Underage drinking has debilitating long-term effects, including the stunting of your child’s

a

dolescence refers to the period in our children’s lives that stretches from pubescence to self-sufficiency.

It is a monumental journey, packed with developmental tasks and expectations, all of which our children need to negotiate and fulfil if they are ever to properly feel in control of their lives. Learning to cope with change is one of their greatest challenges.

Everything changes during adolescence, and the biggest test for teenagers, and parents, is how they deal with them.

These changes usually begin with the transformation that is taking place inside their growing bodies, which then ripples out and influences every other area of their lives. They signal the beginning of a range of new, important, complex and elaborate relationships that will dominate and influence the rest of their lives.

These include their relationship with their body, their friends, their boyfriends and girlfriends, the outside world, their parents, and, most importantly, their relationship with themselves. What they are also about to discover is their relationship with their own brain.

alcohol and the brain In the past, researchers believed that by the time children reached adolescence their brain was fully developed. However, more

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recent discoveries have shown that this is not true. Conclusive evidence suggests that the teenage brain undergoes several dramatic structural changes, which continue until about the age of 20. During adolescence large sections of grey matter gets shed and faster, more efficient synaptic pathways for the conduit of information are established.

In simple terms, this describes the process of learning which, for a short period during adolescence, is quite fluid and adaptable.

This explains why it is much easier for teenagers to learn a new language, to play an instrument or to understand technology.

At the same time though, it also makes teenagers more susceptible to picking up negative and debilitating habits.

The reason for this is that the prefrontal cortex – the seat of all our later executive functions which, among other

things, regulates our judgement, our impulse control and our capacity to discern wrong from right – is painfully exposed and underdeveloped during adolescence. It is therefore impossible to expect teenagers to be in control of their lives at this stage, making the role of the parents crucial.

developmental implications As parents you have to remember that adolescence is the gradual movement from a state of dependency towards being able to function independently. There are a whole range of developmental tasks along the way, but the goal is for them to be able to function as independent people who are in charge of their lives. The last thing they need is to be fooling around with a substance that is actually going to keep them helpless and dependent forever, which alcohol

does. Research confirms that alcohol is a powerful drug that has debilitating effects on motor, memory, perceptual, executive and developmental functions. This applies particularly to teenagers whose brains are still developing and evolving. The value of this research is that it enables parents and educators to tell teenagers that drinking alcohol at a young age will be bad for their mental health. The earlier teenagers start drinking, the greater the likelihood of them developing a debilitating alcohol dependency in their adult years. A lessacknowledged, but profoundly disturbing, consequence of underage drinking is its ability to stunt emotional development.

Teenagers who start drinking from a young age may carry on growing mentally and physically, even cognitively, but their emotional growth may be severely compromised.

If teenagers start drinking frequently at the age of 15 and then stop drinking at the age of 28, their emotional age when they finally stop drinking will be approximately that of a 15-year-old. Giving up drinking is invariably the easy part; getting on with their lives afterwards is an entirely different proposition. The real reason these people find it so hard to stay off the drugs and the alcohol is because they have the maturity, self-control, insight and judgement of a

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PHOTOGRAPH and Illustrations: shutterstock.com

emotional growth, says GARY KOEN.

15-year-old. All the important lessons they were supposed to have learnt when they were a teenager, now have to be learnt when they are in their 20s, 30s or even their 40s. Things that come naturally when you are 15 become difficult and painful when you are starting to do them as an adult.

Alcoholics and drug addicts in countless rehabilitation centres around the world are still trying to find the boundaries and limits they were supposed to have learnt while growing up.

long-term effects Alcohol is deceptive because you often find that the people who drink copious amounts of alcohol tend to be incredibly bright and talented, and full of potential.

Despite their binges, they usually still manage to complete difficult degrees and carry on to achieve brilliance. Their intellect has not been compromised; it is their emotional capacity that has been limited by alcohol. It is their capacity to grasp and understand themselves and how best to live their lives without selfdestruction that they really struggle with.

They never fully come to terms with the values of integrity, morality, reliability and commitment. Alcoholics and drug addicts can be the nicest of people – kind, frank, open, spontaneous, disarming and engaging. Unfortunately, they can also become the most unpredictable and unreliable people, especially when put under pressure or placed in a situation that requires them to act with uprightness and responsibility.

This will only manifest later, and not immediately when teenagers steal a bottle of beer to drink behind the tool shed.

However, when they start regularly stealing bottles of hard spirits and splitting it with their friends, there is cause for concern.

Drinking half a glass of wine occasionally with the family at a Sunday lunch will

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hardly have any effect, but downing two or three beers or ciders every night of the weekend, most certainly will. Further danger comes in the form of associating alcohol with socialising. Somehow, going out with friends is not complete unless they are also having a drink.

said, “because I feel too embarrassed to go and talk to girls.” This from a boy who the previous weekend had gone to a party where he had gotten so drunk that among other things, he had vomited all over the host’s lounge, then started a fight before passing out at the bottom of

Alcohol is deceptive, because you often find that the people who drink copious amounts of alcohol tend to be incredibly bright and talented, and full of potential.

Teenagers need to develop a capacity for self-reflection and independent thought, but alcohol cuts right through this process, making them believe they are someone they are not. The characteristics: comfort, insights and confidence that come from being drunk are short-lived and gone the following morning. Any self-discoveries made while they were drunk, will be lost in the aftermath of the hangover.

what is the appeal?

What makes alcohol so lethal is that initially, in even the smallest of quantities, it does seem to have positive effects. It can relax teenagers and fill them with confidence, making them less self-conscious. If they can keep it together while drinking, they may find there are sides to themselves that they never knew were there. This is all well and good, but those aspects of themselves will only reappear when they next drink. They may find that they need more alcohol to find that comfortable place. The problem with more alcohol is that the line between funny and stupid becomes very thin, while the gap between who they are, and who they want to be, starts to widen.

I recall listening to a 15-year-old boy explain to me why he drank. “I do it”, he

the garden, where some friends eventually found him. They wrestled him into a car before dumping him over the wall of his house into the garden where his parents discovered him the following day.

I stared incredulously at him. “Are you really telling me that talking to a girl could

be more embarrassing than all of that?”

Apparently so.

The message for teenagers who have enjoyed the benefits of alcohol, and found themselves more relaxed and spontaneous, less self-conscious and more willing and able to speak about themselves, would be to find a way of being “drunk” while sober.

They need to be able to be themselves while they are still themselves. The danger of alcohol is that it can alter your reality, so what would be the point of being somebody that you are not? What teenagers really have to be able to do, is to discover who they are without the use of alcohol or another stimulant. That way, not only do they stand a better chance of overcoming social hurdles and learning how to handle themselves in uncomfortable situations, but the things that they discover about themselves makes their growth real and not simply the spurious by-products of a drug.

Gary Koen recently won the Brandhouse Responsible Drinking Media Award for Best Online Entry 2012. To read the article, which originally appeared in the April 2012 issue of Child magazine, visit childmag.co.za/content/think-youlet-them-drink. Other articles by Gary can also be found at childmag.co.za

Gary Koen is a clinical psychologist in private practice with over 20 years’ experience, working mainly with adults and adolescents. He also does presentations at schools on a range of teenage-related topics. These include all the general aspects of normal adolescent development. He developed and successfully runs a course, “An introduction to adolescence”, aimed at parents. He is also working on a book that deals with the challenges facing parents and teenagers and, as a father of three, he is heavily invested in everything he says.

For more information, visit garykoen.co.za

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resource

an added advantage Whether your child is looking to boost their upcoming exam results, they need to grasp a difficult concept or want to wrap their head around the work load, these learning centres will help your school-goer make a success of each term. By SIMONE JEFFERY

Engenius Toys The centre offers fun workshops to children 4–14 years old, which create an interest and build foundation knowledge in robotics, computer programming and engineering.

Learners work as part of a team and are exposed to tasks that will have them thinking logically while building structures, and applying basic mechanical and engineering principles by using pulleys, gears, axels and wheels.

Area: Centurion Mall Contact: 012 643 1047 or visit engeniustoys.co.za

computer and IT centres Computers 4 Kids Offers integrated computer training for learners at aftercare centres, pre-primary schools, primary schools and Computers 4 Kids Training Centres across Gauteng. The hands-on lessons cover South African school content (maths, English, Afrikaans, social studies, EMS and others) as well as IT skills aimed at your child’s academic level. The learners are awarded an approved qualification at the end of the course and are exposed to the latest technologies such as laptops, tablets and smart phones.

Area: centres across Pretoria

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Just Click A fun computer skills programme taught at schools or at the JustClick Centre in Pretoria East, for preschoolers 3–6 years old. The programme develops perceptual skills, logic, memory, and touches on maths while learners become more confident using the provided laptop computers. Classes are kept small (5 per lesson) to ensure individual attention and adequate stimulation for fast learners.

Problems are identified fast and discussed with the teacher.

Area: Pretoria East Contact Rina: 083 458 4777; Alida: 083 294 5983, info@jclick.co.za or visit jclick.co.za Stimu-Zone Offers effective computer training for learners aged 3–12 years old.

The focus is on educating the pupils in

becoming computer literate and at the same time stimulating their perceptual and educational skills. They provide computers, a CAPS orientated syllabus and educators to any educational institution. Learners receive a progress report termly and a certificate yearly.

Area: zones across Pretoria Contact head office: 014 533 2513, 082 564 3608, stimuhoza@yahoo.com or visit stimuzone.com Toy Adventures Workshops teach 4–14 year-old learners mechanical and engineering principles (gears, levers, pulleys, axels and wheels), as well as robotics and computer programming.

The programme sees pupils building structures with Lego, working as a team, solving problems through design and logical thinking, and investigating energy buoyancy and balance. Classes run over 8 lessons per term.

Area: Irene Village Mall Contact: 012 662 0818 or jan.rothman@ toyadventures.co.za Trophy Computers and Robotics This is a science and technology club where Grade 1–12 pupils learn how mechanics work and how to build and programme a robot.

Children with an interest in new technologies, gadgets and robotics will be introduced to the fundamentals of technology and learn about the school subjects they need to take for a future in robotics. Grading takes place in June and November, with official and unofficial competitions taking place throughout the year.

Area: Pretoria Contact Zelda: 082 851 8892, z.pret@ mweb.co.za or visit trophyrobotics.net

languages and reading centres Active English Offers beginner to advanced English language lessons for children 3 years and older. Classes involve a fun and intelligent element with English songs, exercises, literature and books being dealt with. Learning to read and speak English gives your child an advantage at school, expands their vocabulary and improves their language skills.

Area: Eldoraigne and Rooihuiskraal Contact Antoinette: 082 714 1155 or visit activeenglish.co.za Alliance Française of Pretoria Learn the French way at the Alliance Française de Pretoria, a language school and cultural centre located in the hub of the diplomatic community. Learn the language or take part in the various cultural events taking place throughout the year. Fun children’s classes cater for little ones 4–6 years old, with other classes available for teenagers that are preparing for exams.

Area: Sunnyside Contact: 012 343 6563, info.pretoria@ alliance.org.za or visit alliance.org.za Edublox Reading and Learning Clinic Children can attend weekly classes to improve their reading and learning capabilities through developing and practicing foundational skills such as

magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterSTOCK.COM

Contact: 0861 C 4 KIDS (245 437), info@computers4kids.co.za or visit computers4kids.co.za

concentration, perception, memory, logical thinking, reading speed and spelling ability.

Study skills classes are also offered to learners from Grade 4 and up.

Area: Doringkloof, Wierda Park and Pretoria East Contact: head office, Henk: 012 345 1480, info@edublox.com; Doringkloof, Louise: 012 667 2252; Wierda Park, Corine: 012 653 5599; Pretoria East, Susan: 012 345 1480 or visit thereadingclinic.co.za Kip McGrath Education Centres Kip McGrath’s English programme covers reading, spelling, grammar, comprehension, vocabulary and writing skills as well as

Wise Eye Reading Academy Computer and home-reading therapy is provided to improve tracking, spelling and comprehension. After an initial reading evaluation, reading therapy takes place under the guidance of a qualified Wise Eye Therapist and on the individual reader’s level. The programme improves effective left-to-right eye movement, short-term memory, length of eye span, vocabulary, comprehension and concentration. The home therapy is available in both English and Afrikaans.

Area: branches across Pretoria Contact: 012 751 2830/1/2/3, headoffice@ wiseeye.co.za or visit wiseeye.co.za

early reading for the younger children.

Kip McGrath accommodates children from Grade R to Matric.

maths centres

Area: nationwide Contact: 031 903 5352, info@kipmcgrath. co.za or to find a centre close to you, visit kipmcgrath.co.za Tina Cowley Reading Centre Using a computer programme and one-on-one interaction, children improve their reading skills through improving letter recognition, distinguishing foreground (black letters) from the (white) background and phonological processing. The reading therapy programme is available in English and Afrikaans.

Area: centres across Pretoria Contact Tina or Linda: 013 656 5748, 087 941 5411, tinacow@mweb. co.za, linda@tinacowley.co.za or visit tinacowley.co.za

Gymathstics Changes the way young children learn mathematics through multisensory activities for children aged 4–10 years old. The programme was born out of the need to increase mental maths ability through brain stimulating exercises and multi-sensory resources thereby creating a love for mathematics and making mental maths fun. The clip counter kit is available for you to purchase and use at home with your children. The bright colourful pieces teach children to create shapes, add, subtract, multiply, divide and more.

Area: Pretoria Contact Riswana: 076 342 2005, info@gymathstics.co.za or visit gymathstics.co.za

Kip McGrath Education Centres They help with maths basics, homework and more advanced maths problems as well as with the understanding of new concepts introduced in Grades 8, 9 and 10. For pupils in Grade R–Matric.

Area: nationwide Contact: 031 903 5352, info@kipmcgrath. co.za or visit kipmcgrath.co.za Kumon Math programme The Kumon method not only improves maths and English skills but learners develop confidence, self-esteem and self-discipline throughout the process. When enrolling, each child is assessed to establish their starting level and as they progress they are carefully monitored by the instructor so that the class work and home work matches their level. Children attend a Kumon Centre twice a week, and complete 20 to 30 minutes of work at home on non-centre days. The understanding and skill level is built up incrementally so as to not overwhelm or stress the learner.

Certificates of achievement are awarded on successful completion of a level.

Area: nationwide Contact: 0800 002 775, info@kumon. co.za or visit kumon.co.za

Master Maths Maths tuition is provided for Grade 4–12 pupils. Through individual lessons that make extensive use of interactive computer graphics to illustrate principles, learners are monitored by tutors so that problem areas are identified and appropriate lessons are allocated. Master Science is available for Grade 10–12 learners. Tuition is given in English and Afrikaans and is SA-curriculum based.

Area: nationwide Contact: 021 851 5660, info@ mastermaths.co.za or visit mastermaths. co.za or masterscience.co.za

magazine pretoria

study skills centres Equal Zeal Training Research has shown that providing learners with tools and strategies that build both emotional skills and healthy physical habits when preparing for a test can help them overcome test anxiety and the associated symptoms. Children learn to identify and manage emotions such as anxiety, self-doubt, anger or frustration while covering topics such as organising your study space, memorisation strategies, time management and study techniques.

All participants get a certificate at the end of the four-week programme.

Area: nationwide Contact head office: 011 467 9754, info@equalzeal.com or visit equalzeal.com Mind Moves Instructors do genetic dominance and neuro-developmental assessments of your child. They then address developmental issues to remove barriers to learning, and offer tailor-made recommendations and programmes to support school readiness, optimise learning efficiency, and guide subject and career choices. For learners Grade 1–12.

Area: nationwide Contact: 021 461 3716, institute@ mindmoves.co.za or visit mindmoves.co.za

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resource piano, keyboard, acoustic/classical guitar and bass guitar, drums, recorder or flute.

Vocal training and lessons for adults are also available.

Area: Wonderboom Contact Tiaan: 076 040 2285 or visit musicalminds.co.za

music centres Drumkidz They offer djembe drumming to preprimary and primary school learners up to Grade 2, either as an extramural or as part of the school curriculum. The learners drum along to stories and songs, which in turn develops their auditory perception and builds a foundation for an understanding of music. Drumming workshops, parties and theatre shows are available for all ages.

Area: national Contact head office: 021 434 7610, info@ drumkidz.co.za or visit drumkidz.co.za Key Players Music Tailor-made music lessons in piano, guitar, drums, the violin and singing are offered at the centre in Douglasdale or conveniently at your home. Based on demand, learners can be prepared for Trinity Guildhall exams, however, should a student desire formal training a definite commitment has to be made to practice a certain amount of hours per week in order to walk away with good results. Holiday workshops take place throughout the year, and online lessons are also available.

Area: Centurion Contact Magda: 011 465 3390, 082 768 3906, magdagunter@keyplayersmusic. com or visit music-lessons.co.za Kindermusik Therapeutic, whole-brain development music classes expose your child (from birth–7 years) to music, while

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giving parents a chance to bond and have fun with their children. Starting out with singing, dancing, playing with instruments, balls, scarves, and hoops, children then progress to a stage where they read and write music, and play glockenspiels, keyboards, dulcimers and recorders.

Certificates of attendance are awarded once you have completed the course.

Area: centres across Pretoria Contact head office: 018 468 5143, ksa@kindermusik.co.za or visit kindermusik.co.za

Musical Minds Individual or group classes are available for preschool learners aged 3–6 years and older children. In a fun and unique manner, children gain a theoretical knowledge of music, covering sheet music and the location of the notes on a piano and keyboard. They then progress to learning an instrument of their choice:

Nu-Song Music & Drama School This school offers one-on-one, tailor-made lessons for children from 6 years old in music, singing and drama. Learners can choose between piano, guitar, bass guitar, drums, vocal training, public speaking and drama classes. Learners from Grade 1–8 have the opportunity to do internationally accredited exams in all of the instruments, as well as singing and drama.

Area: Pretoria East Contact Hester: 084 703 5239, hester@ nusong.co.za or visit nusong.co.za

science centres Experi-Buddies Children learn that the world of science can be fun by taking part in interactive projects, demonstrations and experiments. By exposing children to science when they are young and impressionable, you feed their natural curiosity and get them to think logically and scientifically. In the weekly classes, learners wear lab coats and safety glasses while they learn about chemistry, physics, geology, biology, meteorology and astronomy.

Area: Parkview, Kempton Park, Boksburg, Vereeniging, Vanderbijlpark, Sasolburg, Midstream, Victory Park, Rooseveltpark, Linden, Fairland, Melville, Fontainebleau and Muldersdrift Contact: madrie@experi.co.za

Rock Star Music School Learners from the age of 6 are put through a practical and theory based syllabus designed by full-time musicians and teachers. Learners are taught how to master their instrument through learning modern rock, pop and classical music. Individual and group lessons on the various instruments are available. Workshops for different levels are held twice a year, and might cover anything from the process of putting together your own band, to the ins and outs of a recording studio.

Area: Hennopspark or at your home Contact Gerhard: 084 856 1971, gerhard@rockstarmusicschool.co.za or visit rockstarmusicschool.co.za Bel Canto Strings Zelda offers one-onone violin tuition for children 6 years and older. Young children take to this difficult instrument a lot faster than adults as they’re not afraid of sounding bad and making a noise until they’re able to master it. Learners need to have their own violin, but Zelda can assist with sourcing a violin to rent should you prefer. Assistance in preparing for external exams through Trinity College London or Royal Schools can be arranged.

Area: Moreleta Park Contact Zelda Malan: 079 529 4262 or zeldamalan@yahoo.com

Sci-enza The mission of the Centre is to raise science awareness and make science accessible to learners in a fun and entertaining way. There are numerous interactive displays, a maze of mirrors and a Camera Obscura to stimulate your brain. The centre caters to learners from preschool through to high school by preparing workshops to meet the science theme you want to focus on. Bookings need to be made for the workshops.

Area: University of Pretoria Contact: 012 420 3767, yvette.barrett@ up.ac.za or visit sci-enza.up.ac.za

magazine pretoria

all subjects

Kids @ Work A child-friendly website that provides research articles that are easily understood by learners and, as the information follows the national school curriculum, learners are able to use the articles for their primary school assignments. The articles are available in life orientation, social and natural science, EMS, arts and culture, and technology.

The site is in Afrikaans and English.

For more info: visit kidsatwork.co.za

Penguin Tutoring Qualified tutors come to your home offering extra lessons in all school subjects, exam preparation and revision, and homework supervision for children ages 5–21 years. Tuition in various languages (Zulu, Sepedi, Afrikaans, French and Greek) is also available.

Area: tutors across Pretoria Contact: 071 288 8919, enquiries@ penguintutoring.co.za or visit penguintutoring.co.za Teach Me 2 A nationwide tutoring agency specialising in finding and placing tutors with learners from Grade 1–12 to assist them in achieving their educational goals.

The agency’s vast database of tutors covers school subjects, languages and even musical instruments. The tutors are screened, have reliable references and have achieved excellent results in the subjects they tutor. Tuition takes place at your home or at an agreed upon public place, such as a library.

Area: nationwide Contact: 0861 832 246, info@teachme2. co.za or visit teachme2.co.za

online learning Brainline Learning World Offers distance education for Grade 1–12 pupils in both English and Afrikaans.

The quality learning units meet the requirements of the national curriculum as set by the Department of Education, and are adaptable to meet the needs of the learners. Additional material and online support is available.

Contact: 012 543 5000, info@brainline. com or visit brainline.com Computer Skills for Africa Grade 1–12 children have fun while learning to use computer programmes such as Microsoft Word or Excel. The activities can be done in the comfort of your own home under the guidance and supervision of parents. At the end of the programme learners are awarded an International Computer Driving License.

Contact: 034 326 4624 or visit cs4a.co.za E-Classroom This is an online portal, which provides support worksheets for learners in preprimary and primary school, to use either in the classroom or at home. The worksheets are developed in line with the new CAPS curriculum and follow all curriculum subjects. Online education offers unlimited access from any location and exposes learners to new technologies and global methods of education. All the activity worksheets are designed so that they can be easily downloaded, with new content being uploaded monthly.

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Contact: 021 789 0191, e-classroom@ mweb.co.za or visit e-classroom.co.za Future 4 Kids Supplier of the CAMI Maths programme that ensures that mathematical concepts and skills are properly understood and mastered by the learner before they are able to move onto a higher level, thus ensuring that gaps in understanding do not form. The programme is suitable to learners Grade R–12. The programme includes tutor support where children can make contact via phone, Skype or email.

For more info: visit camiweb.com or future4kids.co.za IQ Smart This educational software provides learners from preschool through to Grade 12 with interactive lessons and exercises that follow South Africa’s standard curriculum in maths, English, science and computer literacy.

Learners are able to work at their own pace, going quickly through material that they easily grasp, and taking their time to master concepts that they find more difficult.

Contact Rick: 083 256 9696 or visit iqsmart.co.za IXL Learning A fun and easy-to-navigate website that offers maths exercises and games that are aligned to the South African national curriculum for preschool to Grade 9 learners. Members receive access to IXL’s national curriculum reports where you’re able to monitor your child’s progress.

For more info: visit za.ixl.com

MathsBuddy An independent online maths tutoring programme that is based on the South African curriculum for Grades 1–12. Parents and schools can buy it. The programme was developed by experienced teachers, and features over 1 600 animated and narrated maths lessons, and more than 65 000 interactive questions. The content is constantly being updated to meet curriculum changes.

Contact Jeanette: 011 275 0444, 083 469 3886, jeanette@mathsbuddy.co.za or visit mathsbuddy.co.za Readers are Leaders This reading and language software allows learners to work independently and at a pace that suits their processing speed. As the learner progresses through the many reading passages, each with a sequence of exercises testing grammar, vocabulary and spelling, their reading speed, comprehension and visual memory gradually improves. The software is available in English and Afrikaans, and caters for learners Grade 1–12 as well as those at tertiary level.

Contact: 021 975 6800, info@fbms. co.za or visit readersareleaders.co.za or lesersisleiers.co.za The Happy Handwriter Uses letter formation books, fine motor kits and letter cards to target the muscle groups and movement patterns responsible for pencil control for handwriting. The programme was designed by an occupational therapist with 25 years’ experience in the field of learning difficulties, with a special interest in handwriting.

Contact: 021 715 6719, info@ thehappyhandwriter.co.za or visit thehappyhandwriter.co.za

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books

a good read for toddlers

Bear Takes a Trip

By Stella Blackstone and Debbie Harter (Published by Barefoot Books, R70) Bear and his friend are taking a trip to the mountains. Tell the time with them as they make their way to their destination via different modes of transport. The story is told in snappy rhyme: “Bear has a very long journey to make; there are lots of things for him to take.” At the back of the book are fun time-telling exercises. This sturdy board book is recommended for children from the age of two to five. Other books in the very popular Bear series include Bear’s Busy Family, Bear in Sunshine, Bear’s Birthday and Bear on a Bike.

for preschoolers Freddy and Frieda’s Traveling Tales: Meet the Families

By Claudia Eicker-Harris and Marina Shupik

play along

Animal Fun

By Brenda Apsley and Jeannette O’Toole (Published by Human & Rousseau, R60) Children from the age of two to five can have fun with all the animal friends by opening the foldout pages and turning the picture wheel. They can help the cat find her ball of wool or see which animals have spots and which have stripes. They can see who is big and who is small and join in and growl like a tiger or honk like a sea lion. With the clever use of real-life photographs, young children can look for ladybugs, learn about colours and marvel at a baby panda and koala.

(Published by My Family!, R173) This is the first book in a series where Freddy and Frieda the field mice travel the world meeting different kinds of people, teaching tolerance and sharing heartwarming stories. Meet the Families is about some of the children and families that they have come to know on their travels. Written in rhythmic style, this story celebrates the different family structures, and helps children see that every family is special in their own way, and also shows that despite their differences they all have one thing in common: love. It is available at book stores and on myfamilyproducts.net

The South African Alphabet

By Alex Latimer

the A–Z in South African

(Published by Puffin Books, R120) Alex Latimer’s splendidly South African illustrations make learning the alphabet as easy as 1-2-3. A is for aloe, B is for braai, C is for Currie Cup… your child will learn their letters by identifying familiar South African objects throughout this book.

for early graders Yoga Pretzels

By Tara Guber, Leah Kalish, Baron Baptiste and Sophie Fatus (Published by Barefoot Books, R157) Here are 50 fun yoga activities for children and adults.

Each card describes in detail a yoga exercise and covers breathing, playful and creative games, balance, practicing standing to become stable, strong and grounded, the forward bend, the back bend, twists and stretches as well as tips to have fun and how to unwind, rest and revive. Each exercise is accompanied by an explanation of how you will benefit and there are clear guidelines that you can follow to plan your practice. Baron Baptiste is a father of three boys and has transformed yoga teaching in the United States and Europe.

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100% Unofficial Olympic Poems

By Brian Moses and Roger Stevens

don to Lon with rhyme

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R71) This is a brilliant, funny and inspiring collection of poems about sport and sporting events of every kind for children from the age of seven. There are poems about PE lessons, sports days and the final of the men’s 100m race. There are poems about winning and about taking part; poems about having all the right kit but no talent; poems about being a team player and poems about being a hero. This book is packed with sporting gems of all kinds and even includes a poem about an egg-andspoon race.

magazine pretoria

for us

for preteens and teens The Paradise Trap

By Catherine Jinks inspir

(Published by Quercus, R111) Eleven-year-old Marcus loves video games and hates the beach, so he is not happy when his mom Holly drags him to Diamond Beach.

Once there, Holly meets her childhood friend Coco, who is on holiday with her electronics-obsessed husband, Sterling Huckstepp, and their children. Opening a door into the basement of Holly’s caravan, the Huckstepp’s son Edison discovers the most amazing amusement park – whoever opens a door in the basement finds themselves in their very own dream vacation. But then it becomes impossible to escape, and it all begins to feel like a nightmare: Marcus, Holly and the Huckstepps find themselves trapped in a matrix of terrifying dreamscapes peopled with strange characters that will allow them to do anything they want, except leave.

The Book of Potentially Catastrophic Science

By Sean Connolly

ation

Healing Foods

By Margaret Roberts Steve Jobs – The Man who thought different

By Karen Blumenthal

science for the brave

(Published by Workman Publishing, R138) Children between the ages of 10 and 13 can sink their teeth into this science fest. There are 50 experiments that demonstrate the principles behind the greatest scientific breakthroughs in human history. They can learn how to launch a bottle rocket into the air, peer through a microscope made out of water, prove atomic theory with food colouring, recreate the Large Hadron Collider using marshmallows, parachute an egg from an upstairs window, distil DNA from a half-eaten banana and spark lightning in their mouths. Warning: great science means taking risks and these experiments may get messy. Adult supervision is recommended.

(Published by Feiwel & Friends, R87) From the start, his path was never predictable. Steve Jobs was given up for adoption at birth, dropped out of college and at the age of 20, created Apple with his friend Steve Wozniack. Then came the hallmark of his genius – his exacting moderation for perfection, his counterculture lifeapproach, and his level of style that pushed all boundaries. He became the ultimate CEO, and made the world want every product he touched.

(Published by Briza Publications, R236) With Healing Foods, prolific author Margaret Roberts brings nature’s pharmacy into our homes and lives. Step by step, and easily accessible, Margaret showcases the super foods and warns against the danger foods.

She lists the ailments we suffer from, offering comforting natural ways of correcting and rebuilding our health and regaining our vitality. More than 150 common and lesserknown vegetables, fruits, herbs, spices and other plant foods that are the building blocks of good health are described in full, covering aspects such as the plant’s history and origin, instructions on how to grow the plant, medicinal uses and major nutrients and ideas on how to include the plant in your diet, along with recipes.

parenting books The Antenatal Guide Presented by Leanne Manas

Top 100 Meals in Minutes

By Annabel Karmel

(Published by Rooftop Productions, R249,95) The guide comes with a nine-session DVD with leading professionals including Dr Blaine Robson, Donah Rosser, Dr Ruth Greeff, Sr Natalie Guscott, Dr Michael Greeff and Dr Natascha Andrews. Part of the package deal is a pregnancy journal, sections on taking care of your body during pregnancy, planning the birth, what to expect during labour, how to prepare for the birth and coping with labour, as well as when labour and birth need assistance and how it works. There are tips on Caesarean birth, what to expect when your baby has arrived, your bond with your baby and your baby’s development. The book also comes with journal stickers as well as an exercise chart. To order, visit antenatalguide.com or sms TAG to 43366 and they will contact you.

(Published by Random House Struik, R165) Time with your children is precious for every parent, so you don’t want to spend hours in the kitchen preparing food. This book comes to the rescue with recipes that require minimal time and effort, but are still delicious and nutritionally balanced. Annabel Karmel, a leading authority on how to feed children, takes away the stress of what to cook to keep your children healthy and happy, providing age-appropriate, delicious meals for babies and toddlers. Easy-to-follow instructions, combined with great photography, and handy time guides for each recipe, make this the go-to book for any parent who has to juggle their time but also wants the best for their children.

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August 2012

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calendar

what’s on in august

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY.

5 sun

special events

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FUN for children

29

only for parents

31

bump, baby & tot in tow

32

how to help

32

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Acrobranch Adventure lovers can swing, climb and zip across the treetops in this outdoor obstacle course.

Reakopana Opera Festival This year, audiences are being entertained

by Leonard Bernstein’s Candide.

Tea at the farmyard Meet the resident potbelly pigs, swans, guinea pigs and more.

The Stars in Education Recognise the achievements of teachers who have gone the extra mile.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Cars in the Park Well-maintained relics of the past line up alongside the sleek cars of today.

SPECIAL EVENTS 3 friday Reach for your slippers Today, wear your slippers everywhere and help a terminally ill child’s dream come true.

Purchase tickets directly from Reach for a Dream or through Milady’s stores. Cost: R10 a sticker. Contact: 011 781 0133 or visit reachforadream.org.za

4 saturday A cave of wonders Palaeobiologist Dr Christine Steininger guides you through the cave as she gives a talk on fossils and teaches you how to make stone tools.

Booking essential. Time: 9am. Venue: Sterkfontein Caves, Cradle of Humankind.

Cost: R350, includes a light lunch. Contact: 014 577 9000, childmag@maropeng.co.za or visit maropeng.co.za

The Magic of Making At this arts festival, find contemporary and original products, ranging from art and crafts to handmade objects and one-of-a-kind articles. Themed workshops are running throughout the day. Booking essential. Ends 11 August. Time: 10am–3pm.

Venue: Duncan Yard, cnr Jan Shoba St (previously Duncan) and Prospect St, Hatfield. Cost: free entry; workshops vary. Contact Brenda: 082 354 5156 or visit duncanyard.co.za

11 sat

5 sunday Cars in the Park This festive family event brings together well-maintained relics of the past alongside cars of the present. A child-safe area with craft activities, face painting and other fun activities keeps the children busy while moms can browse the crafts in the park. Time: 7:30am–2pm.

Venue: Zwartkops Raceway, off the R55, Pretoria West. Cost: adults R60, children free. Contact: 012 384 2291 or visit zwartkops.co.za

11 saturday Dancing Divas Dance-a-Thon Try various dances, including a bit of Latin American and Zumba. All welcome. Time: 10am–11:30am. Venue: Dancing Divas, upper level, Atterbury Boulevard, cnr Atterbury Rd and Manitoba Rd, Faerie Glen. Cost: R30. Contact Tish: 083 331 6200, tishagrinz@gmail.com or visit dancingdivas.co.za

17 friday Granny and Grandad brunch Make it a special day out for grandparents as they spend time with their grandchildren, clowns, balloons, face painters and more.

At 2pm you can watch a puppet show.

Time: from 10am. Venue: Jingle Jangle Tea Garden, Wekker St, plot 54, Kimiad Estate, Moreleta Park. Cost: puppet show R20, food varies. Contact Laura: 012 997 0134, jinglejangle@vodamail.co.za or visit jinglejangle.co.za

18 saturday Dash around the zoo Say good morning to the animals as you run the 5km route around the zoo. Time: 6am. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St. Cost: non-members: adults R40, children R25; members: adults R30, children R25.

Contact: 012 328 3265 ext 168, info@ friendsofthezoo.co.za or visit nzg.ac.za

25 saturday Journey to the edge of the universe Guest speaker Jerome Jooste takes you on a fascinating voyage of discovery to the edge of the universe. Booking essential. Time: 5pm. Venue: Tumulus deck, Maropeng.

Cost: adults R190, children R90, includes the presentation and a buffet dinner.

magazine pretoria

3 August – Reach for your slippers

Contact: 014 577 9000, childmag@ maropeng.co.za or visit maropeng.co.za

26 sunday Park Acoustics Enjoy an afternoon of South African music. Time: 11am–6:41pm.

Venue: Voortrekker Monument, Eeufees Rd, Groenkloof. Cost: online R55, at the door R65, children under 6 free, parking R5. Book through Ticketbreak: 012 327 6601, parkacoustics@gmail.com or visit ticketbreak.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Realise your dreams Talented artists are invited to audition today and secure their place at this prestigious school. Visit the website for audition requirements. By appointment only. For children in Grades 8–11. 18 and 25 August. Time: 8am. Venue: The National School of the Arts, 17 Hoofd St, Braamfontein. Cost: audition fee R50.

Contact: 011 339 6539, admin@artschool. co.za or visit artschool.co.za The Amazing World of Gumball Use your imagination to draw the newest student to join Gumball at Elmore Junior High School in this year’s Animation Generation competition, brought to you

by Cartoon Network. The top three entries stand a chance of winning iPads, Blackberry cellphones and iPods; with the school that submits the most entries being awarded R10 000. Entries close 3 September. For

children 6–14 years. Download the entry form online and hand deliver to: HDI Youth Marketers, The White House, 168 Grosvenor Rd, Bryanston, or post it to: Animation Generation Competition Entries, Postnet Suite 331, Private Bag X51, Bryanston, 2012.

For more info: visit cartoonnetworkafrica. com/animationgeneration

classes, talks and workshops Anger with a Capital D This builder workshop provides children with healthy alternatives to losing their temper and looks at the outcomes of uncontrolled emotions.

Booking essential. For children 11–13 years old. 4 August. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: The Pretoria East Life Studio, 319 Acornhoek St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R600 per child (10% discount for siblings). Contact Michelle: 079 162 6465, michelledl@equalzeal.com or visit equalzeal.com

17 August – Granny and Grandad brunch

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calendar Venue: Candy Man, Bylsbridge Promenade, shop 6, Bloukrans St. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 012 665 5997

Holiday Art Club Children can enjoy a bit of art therapy during the winter holidays by taking part in varied art workshops such as mosaic, decoupage, fabric painting and painting on canvas. 9 August–10 September. Time: 9:30am–11:30am and 2:30pm–4:40pm. Venue: Soul Space, 78 Murray St, Brooklyn. Cost: R150–R220 per child for a two-hour creative session.

Contact Eunice: 074 118 9184, 083 400 5545, myspace@sobinn.co.za or visit mysoulspace.co.za Teaching a man to fish Enjoy an introductory fly-fishing clinic and order a mouth-watering picnic to enjoy on the banks of the river afterwards. The lessons are suitable for everyone, with no prior fishing experience necessary.

Time: 9am–1pm, daily. Venue: Barbus Haven, Magaliesburg. Cost: adults R300, children R200, non-fishing adults R50.

Contact: 011 315 4503, 083 414 0391, sundowncorporate@gmail.com or visit sundowneradventures.co.za

eats, treats and entertainment. It’s a fun day out for the whole family. 26 August.

Time: 8am–3pm. Venue: Irene Village Mall, cnr Nellmapius Dr and Van Ryneveld Dr, Irene. Cost: free entry. Contact Rentia: 012 662 4446, rentia@mseed.co.za or visit irenevillagemall.co.za Hazel Food Market This is a convenient and authentic food market that tempts your palate with the likes of LêKa Bêk Cheese Spreads, Minkie’s cupcakes, pomegranate dressing from the Elbows Up Deli and a selection of freshly baked muffins from the Baker Boys. Time: 8am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Mackenzie St and 13th St, Menlo Park. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 554 5636, info@hazelfoodmarket.co.za or visit hazelfoodmarket.co.za Unica Market You can browse the many stalls filled with high quality pre-selected gifts and crafts, which are on display in the school hall. All proceeds benefit people with Autism Spectrum Disorders and their families. 31 August–9 September. Time: 9am–9pm. Venue: Unica Market, school hall of St Mary’s DSG, Duxbury St, Hillcrest. Cost: free entry. Contact: 012 460 6539, autism@ unicaschool.co.za or visit unicamarket.co.za

markets

on stage and screen

Fare on the Square A variety of art and crafts are on sale, alongside tasty

Dancing in the Street Dance around the world with songs from festivals such as

holiday programmes

Zart Sculptures

Fancy Cupcakes Teach your child the basics of good cake decorating. For children 10 years and older. 6 August.

Time: 2pm–5pm. Venue: shop D, DG Rynders Building, 1146 Tibouchina St, Montana Park. Cost: R350, all inclusive.

Contact Angelique: 012 548 6873, angelique@funkycakes-goodies.co.za or visit funkycakes-goodies.co.za Learning to Love Me This builder workshop helps to boost self-esteem by creating an unconditional belief in the self.

Booking essential. For children 5–13 years.

28–30 August. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: The Pretoria East Life Studio for Kids, 319 Acornhoek St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R950 per child (10% discount for siblings). Contact Michelle: 079 162 6465, michelledl@ equalzeal.com or visit equalzeal.com Overcoming sibling rivalry This workshop gives siblings the skills to form better relationships by learning to communicate with each other in a more favourable way; steering away from constant fighting, bickering, name-calling and complaining. Booking essential. For children 5–13 years. 14–16 August. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: The Pretoria East Life Studio for Kids, 319 Acornhoek St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R950 per child (10% discount for siblings). Contact Michelle: 079 162 6465, michelledl@equalzeal.com or visit equalzeal.com Sound emotional intelligence A family workshop can give you the foundation for developing sound emotional intelligence (EQ). Booking essential. 18 and 25 August.

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Time: 9:30am–12:30pm. Venue: The Pretoria East Life Studio for Kids, 319 Acornhoek St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R1 600 per family. Contact Michelle: 079 162 6465, michelledl@ equalzeal.com or visit equalzeal.com Zart Sculptures Children and adults can develop a new skill in basic sculpturing, using clay as the medium. For children from 4 years and older. Time: varies, every Tuesday and Thursday. Venue: Moreleta Park. Cost: adults R800 a month (four lessons), children R600 a month (four lessons). Contact Zelda: 079 529 4262 or zeldamalan@yahoo.com

family outings A-Maize-ing moonlight Unravel the clues posted in the five secret gardens and make your way through the elemental maze by moonlight. Booking essential. For children 12 years and older. 11 and 25 August.

Time: moonlight maze: 5:15pm–8pm, 10am–5pm; day maze every Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Honeydew A-maize-ing Mazes, Boland St (off Beyers Naudé Dr), Honeydew. Cost: moonlight maze: adults R100, children R80; day maze: adults R90, children R65, family ticket (two adults and two children) R280. Contact Peter or Judy: 073 795 2174, enquiries@maizemaze.co.za or visit honeydewmazes.co.za Sweet Saturdays Pop in at the Candy Man where you can get inspiration for your child’s next birthday party while listening to your favourite tunes played by the DJ, and let your children bounce on the jumping castles. 25 August. Time: 8:30am–3pm.

Amazing Reptiles The learners are being introduced to the various species of reptiles being housed in the zoo. The characteristics and adaptations of reptiles are explored while learners are taught skills to analyse the external features of reptiles. For children in Grade R–3. 11 August.

Time: 8am–4pm. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St, Pretoria. Cost: R70, excludes refreshments. Contact Karabo: 012 328 3265 ext 173, karabo@ nzg.ac.za or visit nzg.ac.za

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the Mardi Gras in New Orleans, the Rio Carnival in Brazil and the Cape Minstrel Carnival in Cape Town. 21 August–7 October. Time: 8pm, Monday–Saturday; 2pm, Sunday. Venue: Parkview Barnyard, cnr Garsfontein St and Netcare St, Pretoria East, opposite Pretoria East Hospital. Cost: R95–R145. Contact: 012 368 1555 or visit barnyardtheatre.co.za Kickin’ it triples Learn some amazing karate moves every Tuesday with the Bobby Wasabi Martial Arts Academy.

Time: 3:15pm, every Tuesday on Disney XD, channel 304 on DStv. For more info: visit dstv.com Special Stars Celebrate South African music with a talented 12-piece cast at the new theatre in Parkview. 1–19 August. Time: 8pm, Tuesday–Saturday; 2pm, Sunday.

Venue: Parkview Barnyard, cnr Garsfontein St and Netcare St, Pretoria East, opposite Pretoria East Hospital. Cost: R95. Contact: 012 368 1555 or visit barnyardtheatre.co.za

sport and physical activities Acrobranch Adventure lovers can swing, climb and zip across suspension bridges and ladders on this outdoor obstacle course. Suitable for children from 3 years.

Venue: The Big Red Barn, off the M18, Olifantsfontein. Cost: R30–R120. Contact: 083 925 0679, redbarn@acrobranch.co.za or visit acrobranch.co.za/centurion The Ultimate Outdoor Adventure Working as a team, or individually, you can take part in mental and physical challenges that get you off the couch and learning useful life skills. Booking essential. For children 6 years and older. Time: 9am, 12pm or 3pm, every Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Pelindaba, Hartbeesport Dam. Cost: adults R220, children R165. Contact Debbie: 082 895 2513, admin@surviveorrace.co.za or visit surviveorrace.co.za

only for parents classes, talks & workshops Educational day at Carefree Kids The day offers a wealth of knowledge for moms and dads, with informative talks by guest speakers as well as a display of educational toys and other products. For parents of children 4 months–6 years. 4

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August. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: Carefree Kids Montessori Centre, cnr of Molly Ryde St and Keeshond St, Garsfontein. Cost: R20. Contact Melinda: 012 348 7099, 083 632 9175, melinda@carefreekids.co.za or visit carefreekids.co.za Funky motifs In this class, you learn to make a colourful motif to use on any cake or baked goodie. Booking essential.

18 August. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: shop D, DG Rynders Building, 1146 Tibouchina St, Montana Park. Cost: R450. Contact Angelique: 012 548 6873, angelique@funkycakes-goodies.co.za or visit funkycakes-goodies.co.za How to make a cake pop Learn to make the new craze, a funky cake pop, and be prepared for your child’s next birthday party. Booking essential. 25 August. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: shop D, DG Rynders Building, 1146 Tibouchina St, Montana Park. Cost: R450, all inclusive. Contact Angelique: 012 548 6873, angelique@ funkycakes-goodies.co.za or visit funkycakes-goodies.co.za Johnson’s Baby Sense Seminar Medical professionals offer seminars and workshops on sleep, feeding, child development and baby’s health. 25 August. Time: 8am–5:30pm. Venue: Diep in die Berg Hotel, Wapadrand. Cost: R260 per seminar, R120 per workshop. Contact Samantha: 021 461 4669, babysense@go4word.co.za or visit babysense.com Learn to sign Today’s basic sign language training covers workshop one and two in which you learn about food, animals, clothing, family and much more. Classes are presented in English and Afrikaans.

Booking essential. 31 August. Time: 8:30am–3:30pm. Venue: Pretoria. Cost: R350–R700, excludes refreshments.

Contact Monita: 082 218 7339, contact@ tinyhandz.co.za or visit tinyhandz.co.za Montessori teacher training Information session for 2013 enrolments. 25 August.

Time: 8:30am–10am. Venue: The Montessori Academy, Plot 84, Zwavelpoort. Cost: tbc.

Contact: info@montessorisa.co.za Original Play Learn about the art of play from Dr Fred Donaldson, world renowned for developing his workshops through playing with bears, wolves and children.

18–19 August. Time: 8:30am–5pm. Venue: Insight Training Centre at The Centre of

Light, plot 109, Scorpion Trail, Kyalami. Cost: R1 500 for the two-day workshop.

Contact: 083 445 0412 or amari@humantysteamsa.org Parenting in the technological era TV, computers and other gadgets now play a greater role than ever before in children’s lives. This workshop assists parents in reassessing their values and looks at the effects of the media on their children’s outlook and how to channel these influences appropriately. Booking is 18 August – Funky motifs essential. 23 August–13 September. Time: 7pm–9pm. Venue: on stage and screen The Pretoria East Life Studio for Kids, 319 A Deal with the Devil Faust is the Acornhoek St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R1 600 per most often performed opera in the couple. Contact: 079 162 6465, michelledl@ world. The main character of this classic equalzeal.com or visit equalzeal.com German legend is a successful scholar Sonic meditation group Mediate with who is dissatisfied with his life. When he live sounds and musical performances makes a deal with the devil and exchanges created with singing bowls, drums, bells his soul for unlimited knowledge and and chimes. Booking essential. 5 August. worldly pleasures, he becomes eternally Time: 9am–11am. Venue: South African damned. 5, 8, 10, 12, 15 and 18 August.

Centre for Sound Therapy, Meerhof, Time: varies. Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Hartbeespoort Dam. Cost: R150. Contact Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Wilna: 071 682 2548, wilna@soundtherapy.

Edison Rd and 13th St, Menlo Park. Cost: co.za or visit soundtherapy.co.za from R115. Contact: 012 460 6033 or visit Stop Smoking If you’re trying to quit brooklyntheatre.co.za smoking or planning to, spend this Hunchback of Notre Dame A story of weekend getting support and advice class distinctions, betrayal and a friendship on day-to-day coping methods from between the hunchback, Quasimodo, professionals. The weekend consists of and the beautiful gypsy, Esmeralda. morning exercise classes, consultations, This silent movie is brought to life with hypnotherapy, talks, massages and nature organ improvisations, performed by walks. Booking essential. 16–19 August.

Zorada Temmingh. 19 and 22 August.

Time: from 2pm. Venue: Hoogland, off Van Time: 3pm, Sunday; 8pm, Wednesday.

Melle, Schurveberg, Erasmia. Cost: R6 000.

Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Greenlyn Contact: 012 380 4000, info@hoogland.

Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison co.za or visit hoogland.co.za Rd and 13th St, Menlo Park. Cost: R95– Zeal for Life This parenting programme R130. Contact: 012 460 6033 or visit is designed around the needs of modernbrooklyntheatre.co.za day parents to aid in establishing new Reakopana Opera Festival Audiences routines and discipline structures, setting are entertained by Leonard Bernstein’s boundaries, reducing stress and more. 17 Candide, a comic operetta based on the July–7 August. Time: 7pm–9pm. Venue: novella by Voltaire. 18–21 August. Time: The Pretoria East Life Studio for Kids, 319 8pm, Saturday and Tuesday; 3pm, Sunday.

Acornhoek St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R1 600 Venue: Atterbury Theatre, 4 Daventry per couple. Contact Michelle: 079 162 St, cnr Lynnwood Rd and Daventry St, 6465, michelledl@equalzeal.com or visit Lynnwood. Cost: R130–R150. Contact: 012 equalzeal.com 471 1700 or visit atterburytheatre.co.za

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out and about An active palaeontological dig One of the Cradle’s richest fossil sites offers a guided tour around the active dig where the earliest evidence of the use of controlled fire in Southern Africa, dating back one million years, was discovered. This tour needs a minimum of seven people booked and is weather dependent. Booking essential. 18 August. Time: 9am. Venue: Sterkfontein Caves, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: R350, includes a light lunch. Contact: 014 577 9000, childmag@maropeng.co.za or visit maropeng.co.za Free day @ the Zoo Senior citizens older than 60 years can enjoy free entry into the zoo, the aquarium and the reptile park.

7 August. Time: 9am. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St, Pretoria.

Cost: free for senior citizens; adults R60, children R40. Contact: 012 339 2700, info@nzg.ac.za or visit nzg.ac.za Irene Preprimary open day View the spacious playground, learn more about the extramurals on offer and meet the teachers. For parents of children 2½–6 years. 20 August. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: 39 Crawford Rd, Irene. Contact: 012 667 1813 or visit irenenurseryschool.co.za Little Lumpy’s open day The school has opened its doors for interested parents to look around and meet the teachers.

For parents of children 1 month–5 years.

3 August. Time: 7am–5:30pm. Venue: 10 Klipkraal Rd, Rooihuiskraal. Cost: free.

Contact Tessa: 082 824 3447 Love-Lovely-Life woman’s brunch An extravagant morning filled with laughter, wisdom, a touch of mischief and some good old-fashioned advice, hosted by WIZO, the Women’s Zionist Organisation of South Africa. 5 August. Time: 9:30am–1pm.

Venue: Wingate Park Country Club, Norval St, Moreleta Park. Cost: R200, includes talks, a tasty brunch and a gift bag. Contact Chantelle: 072 733 5639, 082 559 8245 or chantellebenami@yahoo.com Solo parenting This is a social club for single parents to meet monthly and take part in different activities with their children. 11 August. Time: 2pm–4pm.

Venue: varies. Cost: free membership.

Contact Jean-Marie: 076 054 5510 or soloparenting@talc.co.za Soul Mates Book Club Every month you can get together with a group of bookworms to read and discuss the month’s book selection and indulge in some me-time. 1–28 August. Time: 6:30pm.

Venue: Soul Space, 78 Murray St, Brooklyn.

Cost: R350, includes your monthly book, dinner and dessert. Contact: 074 118 9184, 083 400 5545, myspace@sobinn. co.za or visit mysoulspace.co.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Go Under the Sea After creating a themed craft, such as a mask or a gift, moms, dads and grandparents are welcome to join the little ones in learning a fun dance routine.

For children 3–9 years. 25 August. Time: 10am–11am. Venue: Dancing Divas, upper level, Atterbury Boulevard, cnr Atterbury Rd and Manitoba Rd, Faerie Glen. Cost: adult and one child R80 per class; R20 per additional child. Contact Tish: 083 331 6200, tishagrinz@gmail.com or visit dancingdivas.co.za Prenatal yoga classes A maximum of eight moms are allowed per class.

Booking essential. Time: 8:30am–9:10am.

Venue: The Yoga Tree, 621 View St, Rietvalleirand, Erasmuskloof. Cost: from R70. Contact Jo: jo@theyogatree.co.za or visit theyogatree.co.za

Champagne breakfast Spoil yourself this Women’s Day with a delicious bubbly breakfast.

Bookings essential. 9 August.

Time: 9am. Venue: Jingle Jangle Tea Garden, Wekker St, plot 54, Kimiad Estate, Moreleta Park.

Cost: varies. Contact Laura: 012 997 0134, jinglejangle@vodamail. co.za or visit jinglejangle.co.za

9 thu

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/ resources/birthday-parties

playtime and story time Tea at the farmyard Set within the wholesale indigenous tree nursery, children can run and play in a large established garden and meet the resident animals.

There is a tea garden on site in case you get hungry, or prepacked picnic baskets can be purchased. Time: 8am–5pm, daily.

Venue: Willow Feather Farm, portion 37, Doornkloof, Irene. Cost: R10 entry (after 10 entries/stamps you receive a free River Bushwillow tree). Contact: 073 265 9342, info@willowfeather.co.za or visit willowfeather.co.za

support groups Diabetes support group This is for adults with type 1 and type 2 diabetes, as well as their family and friends. 18 August.

Time: 2pm. Venue: Lyttleton Library, cnr Cantonment Rd and Union Rd, Lyttleton, Centurion. Cost: free. Contact Louise: 082 451 0706 or visit diabetessa.co.za Famsa Pretoria Provides assistance to families and individuals in need of counselling. Contact: 012 460 0733/8, famsa@absamail.co.za or visit famsa.org.za Hi Hopes Provides home-based support for families with deaf or hard-of-hearing infants. Contact: 011 717 3750, info@ hihopes.co.za or visit hihopes.co.za La Leche League breast-feeding support This voluntary organisation offers mother-to-mother information sharing and support to mothers that want to breastfeed their babies. 3–17 August. Time: 10am–12pm. Venue: 3 August in Wierda Park; 17 August in Wapadrand; 11 August in Waverley. Cost: free. Contact Nicole: 012

345 4898 or Elsemarie: 012 809 0794 or visit llli.org

how to help Become an organ donor August is organ donor month. For more info and to register as a donor visit odf.org.za Little Fighters Cancer Trust The trust was started to give financial relief to families of babies with cancer. You can help by donating money or purchasing a Bag of Hope, which is given to children in paediatric oncology wards around South Africa. The bags are filled with blankets, pyjamas, books, puzzles, snacks and more.

For more info: visit littlefighters.org.za The Stars in Education This is an inspiring annual competition, which recognises the achievements of teachers who have gone the extra mile and changed lives through their perseverance and unselfish actions. Entries close 31 August. Contact Argo: 021 865 2813, info@argo.org.za or visit ed.org.za Toiletries and underwear People Investing in Needs of Communities (PINC) need to collect brand new bras, panties and toiletries for girls and boys from 2 years to teenagers. They are actively involved in cancer awareness, predominantly breast cancer and cervical cancer, and in feeding underprivileged communities. Contact Lisa: 073 953 6771 or lisa@smart-art.za.net

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to pretoria@childmag.co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971. Information must be received by 3 August 2012 for the September issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za 1–28 August – Soul Mates Book Club

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finishing touch

working from home It’s time to set the record straight about what stay-at-home moms and those on maternity leave really do all day, says ANÉL LEWIS.

i

spotted a fantastic “what society thinks I do/what I actually do” photo story about stay-at-home moms on a parenting website that really struck a chord. It has six frames, starting with “what society thinks I do” – an image of a woman sitting on the couch, in comfortable slippers, reading a magazine. The next frame, “what my mom thinks I do”, is of a mother working on her computer, while her angelic baby plays quietly next to her. In another frame, “what my husband wishes I did”, a beautifully-groomed wife is making a delicious home-cooked meal. And then, in the final frame, “what I actually do”, there is a harried-looking mother with a baby in each arm.

I can relate. Except in my case, the final image would be me with a soggy Vienna stuck in my unwashed hair and curdled

milk vomit on my shoulder; a crying baby in one arm and a toddler clinging to the other. Although I am not a stay-at-home mom, I have been at home for the past few months on maternity leave and the photo story, or meme, is just as apt.

There is a gross misconception out there that maternity leave is a glorious three-month break from work, where mothers get to spend idyllic hours bonding with their babies.

A friend, who happens to be male, remarked recently when I complained about being tired, “But you’re on maternity leave. Don’t you just lie in bed all day with your babies?”

Er... not quite.

Firstly my “day” starts early, like 2am in the morning kind of early. Conor, my twomonth old, has his day and night confused,

so he does most of his feeding in the wee hours of the morning. He usually dozes off at about 5am, but Erin is awake by 7am, so there is no chance of that supposed lie-in.

Secondly, as I am not technically “working”, I do most of the night-time feeds so that my husband can get a decent night’s sleep. But even though I may not spend my day in an office, doing an eightto-five job, I don’t think I have ever worked harder. My day is a seemingly endless slog of bottles, laundry and cleaning.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s a job that I love doing. I really do enjoy spending this precious time with my children. My beef is not with the work load as such, but with the perception that moms who stay at home are on some kind of sabbatical.

There is definitely no time for lazy lie-ins or daytime TV. The closest I come

to watching television is checking the screen on Conor’s baby monitor while he’s having a nap. Also, that notion of “sleep while your baby sleeps” is a fallacy. I have more chance of qualifying for the London Olympic Games than I have of getting Erin and Conor to sleep at the same time, just so that I can catch forty winks.

I also don’t get much opportunity to break away for mid-morning sessions at the gym, or afternoon coffee dates with friends, despite what my husband sometimes thinks.

No, maternity leave is definitely not a holiday. In fact, I am thinking of cutting mine short, so that I can go back to work for some rest.

Anél Lewis is Child magazine’s features editor. She’s back at work after a wonderful, but busy, four months on maternity leave.

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PHOTOGRAPH: SUSIE LEBLOND

Anél and Erin