Child Magazine | Pretoria Feb 2013

P r e t o r i a’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

education explained

what the curriculum changes mean

the digital playground and the bullies who lurk there

vaccinations

why it’s your moral obligation

could your child be a cover star? what to know before the camera rolls

the

www.childmag.co.za

February 2013

free

when is it really

ADHD?

back to school issue

health

education

entertainment

Hunter House P UB L IS H ING

Welcome back to the start of a wonderful new year.

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za

By now you will have eased into some kind of routine as your baby starts to sleep through, your toddler settles into crèche or your child looks forward to a new school year.

After a three-week break, we at Child magazine are back into our routine at work, feeling refreshed and ready to bring you another year’s worth of great parenting reads and resources.

All that starts right here with our “Back to School” issue, which is brimming with updates on health and education, light reads, informative parenting pieces and as always, something topical to get us talking. As we stride into our 10th

Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • joburg@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za Alys Suter • studio2@childmag.co.za Mariette Barkhuizen • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations PUBLISHER’S PHOTOGRAPH: Brooke Fasani

Renee Bruning • renee@childmag.co.za

we are even more enthusiastic about parenting and the important role we play, and we know that you share and fuel our passion to bring you a magazine that is relevant, informative and entertaining.

Here’s to an amazing 2013. May it bring good health and happiness to you and your family.

If you love the magazine you’ll love our website. Visit us at childmag.co.za

year of publishing Child magazine,

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February 2013

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contents

february 2013

upfront 3

a note from lisa

5 over to you readers respond 15 dad’s blog

Marc de Chazal praises the dads who have joined the nappy- changing brigade

16

features

7 pregnancy news – perfect timing

12 cover story

when is the right time to fall pregnant? Lucille Kemp looks at

points to consider

all you need to know when your child wants to enter the world of modelling and acting. By Jennifer Stastny

16 education 101

Michelle Jones explains the new curriculum and helps you make sense of the terminology

18 positively single

arenting alone need not be p a negative experience, says Helena Kingwill

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best for baby – get that shot

Glynis Horning says there’s overwhelming evidence that vaccinations save lives

10 dealing with difference

child psychiatrist Brendan Belsham explains the importance of a proper diagnosis for ADHD

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19 so, you should know...

Christina Castle asked a few teachers what useful information they wish they could share with parents 20 break the cycle

you can boost your child’s immune system to escape the dreaded crèche syndrome. By Kim Maxwell

20

26 resource – roots, shoots and muddy boots

Samantha van Riet shows you how to get your children to become keen gardeners

27 a good read

new books for the whole family

22 when bullying goes viral

28 what’s on in february

34 finishing touch

s ocial media has made bullying a lot more sinister. By Tori Hoffmann

regulars

nél Lewis gets a lesson in the real A meaning of fun during the holidays

classified ads

6 upfront with paul

aul Kerton warns parents against P being “pushy” and having unrealistic dreams for their children

29 family marketplace 33 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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February 2013

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

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letters

over to you

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

keep your children close

bullies

help for gifted children

There are many child-friendly places with play equipment to keep children busy where parents can relax with friends and enjoy a cuppa. But I have noticed how many parents don’t bother about keeping an eye on their children at these places. Recently a friend and I visited a popular venue with our children. Unfortunately, the fencing around the play area is low and the play equipment creates a number of blind spots for parents who are seated at the tables. We noticed a man walk up to the fence and watch the children. He took out his cellphone and made a short call, still watching the children. He did not have a child at the play area and alarmed, we pointed this out to the manager, who told the man to leave. The childminders didn’t do anything.

Parents, please, don’t expect others to look after your children. Be vigilant all the time. One kidnapping or potential kidnapping is one too many.

Susannah Hillman

A learner recently shot and killed another learner because he was being bullied. It had apparently been going on for a long time. Where was the school and where were the teachers? More importantly, did the parents of the shooter not know that he was being bullied? Were the bully’s parents unaware that their child was torturing others?

Children spend hours at school every day. It’s important that parents take the initiative to keep the lines of communication open between themselves and the school.

It’s essential for parents to communicate with their children on a daily basis and to work at building an emotional bond.

Children are usually not honest when you ask them directly how their day went. But if you do something relaxing with them, they might find it easier to open up.

If we encourage a trusting relationship and give them unconditional love, they are more likely to confide in us than bully someone else, or use a gun to solve a problem.

Michele Engelberg

There is very little educational hope in South Africa for gifted children. In many cases education is even worse than the miserable boredom I experienced in the 1970s and 1980s. At the age of 28, my verbal IQ was assessed at ceiling level and my nonverbal IQ was at 155 on the old Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale.

Fortunately for me, my mother, who knew nothing about giftedness, bought me every book I asked for, even when money was scarce. At the age of 12 my library at home had in excess of 1 500 books; most of them factual.

I’d always have four to eight open. I used to speedread the storybooks in book stores. That’s how I taught myself. School was too easy, so my spare time was spent expanding my library and eventually visiting other libraries.

My advice to parents of gifted children is to give your child as much love as you can. Be disciplined with them and challenge them. They should then be fine on their own.

Anonymous

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We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

February 2013

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upfront with paul

Encourage your children to try new things and test their skills, but don’t overdo it, says PAUL KERTON.

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he phrase “pushy parent” prompts a slight curl of the lip and is used to describe mothers and fathers who are deemed to push their children too hard to achieve a talent or status in life that they never quite achieved themselves. Witness the cliché of a pretty but aging mother hawking her even prettier daughter from beauty pageant to modelling agency to drama audition.

It’s the “I could have been a contender” syndrome rearing its ugly head and kicking in with a vengeance. Where the parent feels that they could’ve, would’ve, should’ve been “something” but they threw their opportunity away, and now they will be damned if their child is going to “make the same mistake”. Classic.

Meanwhile the child is exhausted from being towed all over town to do extra “work” when all she wants to do is chill and watch iCarly, having put in a day shift already at school.

Pushy Wikipedia cofounder, Larry Sanger, started a growing trend of “early reading” when he used PowerPoint

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Saskia, Paul and Sabina

presentations to teach his two-year-old son to read and inadvertently launched a new “religion” – worshipping the patron saint of precocious children. One devotee, Dana Wilkey, started teaching her son to read from four days old. Yes, you’re right, babies can’t even focus on the book at that age, but her philosophy of “it’s never too early to make your child brilliant” included bombarding her son with flash cards twice a day. “I would

show John words such as “milk”, give him my breast, and then show him the baby sign language for milk.” My English teacher never did that.

As we speak, there is an enormous industry exploding in teaching babies to communicate before they can crawl, never mind walk; with “signing” being a big craze. Visit tinytalk.co.uk and prepare to be stunned as millions of moms and dads converse with their babies using

sign language. These are the extremes of parental pushiness though. Most parents are not really that forceful, just mildly competitive, as we all want the best for our children in a world where future opportunities for our offspring are diminishing faster than they are opening up. It’s healthy to push our children to some extent to try as many things as possible and recognise what they are good at or interested in sooner rather than later. The classic extramural schedule of one musical instrument, one language, one sport and one of the arts is designed to provide a fully-rounded learning experience, leading to a well-balanced personality.

Problems only arise when the child is expected, or pushed, to do too many extra pursuits in one evening or afternoon. You can overdo it, but you know your child and should be perceptible to whether or not they are coping with their workload. If not, lose one or two activities. Research shows time and again that you don’t learn a darn thing when you are tired.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

hey, stop pushing!

pregnancy news

perfect timing You’re emotionally ready for a baby, but how do you know if it’s the right time to fall pregnant? LUCILLE KEMP considers the options.

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octors recommend that you start preconception care four months prior to trying to fall pregnant.

This may include lifestyle changes, the taking of nutritional supplements such as folic acid, blood tests, iron level checks, a urine test, a pap smear, a blood pressure test and even a dental checkup. Men are also advised to do their bit, by cutting down on alcohol consumption, taking vitamins and avoiding saunas and restrictive underwear.

Medical advice is that you should wait at least six months, but preferably longer, after giving birth before trying for the next one.

ILLUSTRATIONS: shutterstock.com

what is your ideal age?

Becoming a mom in your twenties, thirties or forties – each age group has its advantages and risks. While you may be at your most fertile in your early twenties, you are not necessarily financially stable or established yet. Once Alex Wall, 26-year-old mom to two daughters, found out she was pregnant she prepared by joining a good medical aid.

“We also started putting money away as I wanted to be at home with the baby for longer than three months.”

The risks of miscarriage, Down’s syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities at this age are relatively low, but they increase gradually until the age of 35 when doctors will recommend various tests, including an

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amniocentesis, to help detect any possible defects. Nancy Kerr, 37-year-old Cape Town mother who had her daughter at 35 and son at 36, was conscious that her age would put her into a higher risk category. “It is one of the reasons I won’t have a third baby.”

planting the seed Science tells us that sperm carrying the Y chromosome has a high motility/speed and sperm carrying the X chromosome has a longer lifespan. Knowing this, your cycle and when you ovulate can help you to predict the sex of your baby. If you are hoping for a specific sex you can time intercourse with the help of an ovulation date planner and books such as How to Choose the Sex of your Baby: The Method Best Supported by Scientific Evidence (Random House).

conspiring in your favour You might want to time your pregnancy so that you are at your heaviest in a season that is comfortable for you.

Nancy battled through summer the first time round so she hoped for a winter pregnancy with her second baby.

“Unfortunately, I lucked out and was again at my biggest in the heart of summer, though I am glad as I did not have to struggle to keep a newborn warm and it was easier to get up at 3am.” Note that giving birth during a holiday period,

such as Christmas or Easter, is often less than ideal. Most hospitals operate with a skeleton staff and your gynae may be on holiday when you go into labour.

Extensive research has been done on the effect of the month in which a child is born. Children who are able to start school because of their birth dates may still be physically, emotionally and intellectually younger than their classmates. Parents have therefore become more mindful of when they send their child to school. Alex, who is also a teacher, thinks it’s a very important consideration. “I was born in December and had to repeat a grade in primary school; children born in November or December work at a slower pace and although it is a steady pace you will normally find a December child’s yearend evaluation will be the same as another child’s midyear evaluation.”

This developmental difference is such a prevalent issue that Southdowns College in Pretoria has created separate age groups for children born in the first half of the year and those in the second half of the year.

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best for baby

get those shots Put any qualms aside – the overwhelming evidence is that vaccinations are vital for your child’s health. By GLYNIS HORNING

i

still remember tearing up in sympathy when my sons had their first vaccinations; their cheery, chubby faces crumpling with shock at the unexpected prick of the clinic sister’s needle. Yet it would never have occurred to me not to take them, or to skip any of the shots required by the Department of Health’s Expanded Programme of Immunisation (EPI). “Vaccinating your child means that their body is taught to recognise a pathogen and is able to defend itself against disease caused by it,” explains Professor Jeffrey Mphahlele, head of the South African Vaccination and Immunisation Centre (Savic) at the University of Limpopo’s Medunsa Campus in Pretoria. “Immunisation is one of the greatest breakthroughs in medical history and, according to the World Health Organisation, saves three million lives a year.”

journal The Lancet, and the main author was dropped from the British General Medical Council because, among other things, he was found to have falsified his data and benefited financially from discrediting the MMR.”

have their child vaccinated. But despite this legal requirement, schools may not refuse to accept unvaccinated children, since vaccination is not compulsory.”

There is, however, a societal moral obligation to have it done, because the child who is not immunised poses a threat not only to themselves, but to others, he says. “Freeloading, the practice of avoiding vaccinations and depending instead on herd immunity, is not only immoral, it will eventually backfire on parents who do this because they are setting an example which others in their community may follow, resulting in low herd immunity and outbreaks.”

Burnett adds, “Unvaccinated children who are eligible for vaccination also pose a threat to those who can’t be vaccinated for various reasons, including being too young, or having a disease of the immune system that precludes them from vaccination. For example, many of the babies who got measles during the recent outbreak were younger than nine months, the age at which babies have their first measles vaccination.”

So what to do if to date you have not had your child vaccinated for any reason, or have failed to go for the booster shots needed to sustain adequate levels of protection against the disease? It’s never too late to start, Mphahlele says. “And if the child has had some shots, there’s no need to restart the series. Just continue where you left off.”

Immunisation is one of the greatest breakthroughs in medical history and, according to the World Health Organisation, saves three million lives a year.

So why are some mothers remiss in having it done? “Many factors contribute,” says Mphahlele, citing an article that appeared recently in the journal Vaccine. They range from missed vaccination opportunities to incorrect information provided by clinic staff, unavailability of vaccines and difficulties accessing clinics. “Anti-vaccination lobbyists who argue that vaccinations are unsafe may also have influenced mothers to not vaccinate children,” adds Rosemary Burnett, senior lecturer in epidemiology in the Department of Public Health at the University of Limpopo, and one of the authors of the study.

These lobbyists’ most widely publicised argument in recent years has been that there is a link between MMR, a combination vaccine for measles, mumps and rubella, available in the private sector in South Africa, and autism. But this was based on a study of just 12 autistic children with no control group, says Burnett, and many had signs and symptoms of autism before being vaccinated. “Subsequent controlled scientific studies on huge numbers of children have found no link. Ten of the 12 authors retracted their names from the article. It was withdrawn by the medical

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make an informed decision The choice is surely clear, but it is still your decision to make. “In South Africa, parents are required to submit proof of childhood vaccinations when they enrol their child in school,” says Mphahlele. “If there’s no documentation, school principals are legally obliged to refer the parents to the clinic to

calling the shots Diseases for which vaccines are available in the routine EPI programme are tuberculosis, poliomyelitis, diphtheria, pertussis or whooping cough, tetanus, measles, haemophilus influenza infections such as pneumonia and meningitis, hepatitis B, pneumococcal disease, and rotaviral enteritis, a severe and dehydrating form of diarrhoea. Ask about these at your clinic.

For the schedule, visit childmag.co.za/content/ immunisation-schedule

Diseases for which vaccines are currently licensed and available in the private sector as part of the routine immunisation programme are rubella or German measles, varicella (chickenpox), hepatitis A, influenza, mumps and human papilloma virus infection, which is associated with about 60 percent of cervical cancer cases.

Ask your doctor about these.

Diseases for which vaccines are given only in special situations or for travelling are anthrax, cholera, hepatitis A, meningococcal disease, rabies, tick-borne encephalitis, typhoid fever, yellow fever and Japanese encephalitis. Ask your doctor or travel doctor about them. magazine pretoria

ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

weigh up the risks

Others of the anti-vaccination brigade, including a dear misguided friend of mine, argue that multiple simultaneous vaccines can overwhelm a young child’s immature immune system and cause disease and conditions including autism. But Mphahlele and Burnett, and her research colleagues, report that there is absolutely no scientific evidence to support this. My friend eventually took her three children for vaccinations when they reached preschool age, but only because the head of the school she fancied insisted on it.

Burnett and her colleagues also point out that the diseases that vaccines prevent can have serious complications, and they were common before vaccination was introduced. Any effects that may occur after immunisation are mostly mild; involving redness, tenderness or mild fever, and they’re usually short-lived, with only one per several thousands or millions being serious, she says. So for example, a child’s risk of a severe reaction to the measles vaccination is one in one million, while having measles carries a one in 20 risk of pneumonia, a one in 2 000 risk of encephalitis, a one in 3 000 risk of death in industrialised countries, and, alarmingly, a one in five chance of death in developing countries such as ours.

feature

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February 2013

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dealing with difference

ADHD’s diagnostic dilemma In his book, What’s the fuss about ADHD?, child psychiatrist BRENDAN BELSHAM advises parents to get a proper diagnosis for this complex condition.

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he teacher reports that your child is underachieving in the classroom, and suggests an assessment.

Like any parent, you will probably respond emotionally. After all, we don’t enjoy receiving criticism about our children, however well-intentioned. It is natural to go on the defensive, and parents often begin by blaming either the teacher or the school. Sometimes feedback about our children awakens issues which we experienced years ago in the classroom.

As a practitioner, I have often found myself caught in the middle of a teacher’s concerns and a parent’s denial. Indeed, many families come to see me under duress, having been issued a thinly-veiled ultimatum to have their child assessed, “or else”. This is a far from ideal beginning for a doctor-patient relationship, and I often have to spend a large chunk of

2 a neurodevelopmental paediatrician, with a

special interest in ADHD; or 3 a paediatric neurologist, with expertise in

childhood neurology.

For completeness, one should probably also include the general paediatrician and family doctor, although you must do your homework because not all generalists have expertise with this condition. But, in our context of scarce resources, it is only pragmatic that some of the load should be shared by general practitioners.

the appropriate test Many parents are referred specifically to a neurologist because the teacher feels they need to have an electroencephalogram, or EEG, a procedure which records the electrical activity of the brain. However, I must emphasise that you cannot diagnose ADHD with an EEG. Anyone who tells you

the first consultation easing this tense situation. But it doesn’t have to be this way. How the teacher approaches you as a parent can facilitate the process.

There is a world of difference between “I think Johnny should go onto Ritalin” and “I have noticed that Johnny often daydreams in class and doesn’t finish his work. How about we ask a specialist to look into this?” I know which approach I would prefer.

who does the diagnosing?

Parents are often unsure about this, as there are at least three different medical specialists to whom you might be referred.

Schools often refer to these specialists somewhat interchangeably and randomly, further compounding parents’ confusion.

The truth is any of the following doctors would be appropriate: 1 a child and adolescent psychiatrist who has specialised in children’s conditions;

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otherwise is either deluded or practising quackery. There is certainly a place for the EEG, for example if it is suspected that the child has absence or petit mal seizures, a type of epilepsy in which the brain “switches off” for short periods of time. In such instances the EEG is an appropriate diagnostic test. But don’t let anyone tell you that your child has to have an EEG, including the latest fad, the quantitative EEG, known as the qEEG, in order to diagnose the condition.

There is something vaguely unsatisfactory about not having a scientific test to diagnose a condition, which no doubt contributes to the proliferation of gimmicks such as the qEEG, but unfortunately that is where we stand. A diagnosis involves a checklist of symptoms which should be evident in the child and that should be causing significant impairment in his or her daily functioning. The latter is particularly important as it guards us against overmagazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

There is something vaguely unsatisfactory about not having a scientific test to diagnose a condition…

diagnosing the condition – we call this “false positives” – or worse, degenerating into perilous cosmetic pharmacology.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM IV, published by the American Psychiatric Association and now in its fourth edition, is the “bible” of psychiatric disorders. It records the diagnostic rules for any condition you care to mention. In the section describing childhood conditions, you will find that the symptoms of ADHD are divided into three clusters: inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.

problem is not necessarily an absolute inability to concentrate, as it is an avoidance of tasks that don’t stimulate or are boring.

This has to do with the executive system of the brain, which governs higher functions such as prioritising, delay of gratification and time management.

DSM IV has decreed that a child should display at least six of these nine symptoms to warrant the ADHD diagnosis. There is nothing magical in this particular threshold, and good studies have shown that children with only four or five symptoms may be as impaired as children with seven or eight criteria.

inattention:

hyperactivity:

1 an abnormally short concentration span;

1 constantly on the go, “as if driven by

the DSM IV

2 a frequent resistance to sustained

mental effort, especially with boring or repetitive tasks; 3 easy distractibility; 4 marked forgetfulness; 5 a tendency to lose things frequently; 6 difficulty organising tasks, poor planning; 7 not listening properly to instructions; 8 a tendency to rush work, poor attention to detail, frequent careless mistakes; and 9 inability to complete tasks.

Most of these symptoms are selfexplanatory, but it is true that a child with ADHD may concentrate very well in certain situations, even too well at times. It is known that such children often “hyperfocus” on certain tasks, to the exclusion of other, more important or relevant activities. The

2 3 4 5 6

a motor”; runs about or climbs excessively; restless, unable to stay seated; fidgets excessively; excessively talkative; and plays loudly.

impulsivity: 7 often interrupts or intrudes on others; 8 cannot wait his or her turn; and 9 blurts out answers before the question

is completed.

In assessing these criteria, the doctor should directly observe the child in the consulting room, usually involving some form of structured activity such as drawing or writing. It is also very important to interview the child directly.

Dr Brendan Belsham has been in private practice as a child psychiatrist for more than 12 years. What’s the fuss about ADHD? (CreateSpace), explores the controversies surrounding this frequently diagnosed condition. It has been written mainly for parents who want the disorder, as well as its diagnosis, possible causes and treatment, explained in an accessible manner. He also discusses the safety of the medications commonly prescribed. To order a copy of the book, email bcbelsham@telkomsa.net or visit drbelsham.com

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your child’s life

cover story Understanding how the modelling or acting industry works will go a long way to protecting your child, says Jennifer Stastny.

step 1: spawn an extrovert; preferably one that’s attractive Don’t think that sticking a camera in the face of your quiet seven year old will help her blossom. The most likely outcome of such an approach will be tears – the photographer’s, after that camera is thrown at the nearest wall. “Shy, introverted children generally don’t enjoy modelling or acting, and are also less successful,” says Nicky Greyling of Kool Kids Casting Club in Cape Town.

“This industry is best suited to children who have an outgoing personality and are confident.”

Insider’s tip: Casting agencies need people of all ages on their books. However, it’s probably best to consider your child’s age when deciding to join one. Older babies and toddlers don’t usually take direction well. You’re better off trying to teach a fish to canoe than trying to get your two year old to sit still and look at the birdie. “It gets a little easier after the age of three or four,” says Justine Leary, whose sons Troy, six, and Seth, two, have featured in a number of local and international print and television campaigns. “Before then, you’ll spend a lot of time vying for your child’s attention and keeping them away from the equipment.”

step 2: register with a reputable agency Find an agency that belongs to the National Association of Model Agencies (Nama), the Official South African Casting Association (Oscasa) or one that has a proven track record. “If you have to, check the company’s registration documents to make sure they’ve been around a while,” advises Linsay Shuttleworth of Topco Models.

“We’ve seen many fly-by-night operations close and the parents never see their money.” You’re also entitled to ask for references, adds Nicky.

Once you’ve found a legitimate agency, it’s simply a question of filling in some forms and having a few professional photographs taken of your future face of Baby Gap. For babies under six months, most agents will also accept a supplied photo. The registration process will take an hour or two and shouldn’t cost you more than R500, including the cost of the photographer. Remember to bring your child’s birth certificate as your agency’s client will need to use it when applying for permits; a legal requirement for every shoot involving a child (see “law and order”).

Insider’s tip: This is the point where you settle on the agency’s commission. “Local agencies typically charge 20 percent of the child’s earnings. For international agencies,

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that could go up to 30 percent,” says Linsay. Once your child has been cast, his income will depend on the type of job and whether he features in the final campaign. As a rule, stills or photographic shoots pay less than television commercials, but then they also require more time on set.

Michelle Danner, a Hollywood film and casting director and acting coach for A-list actors, says, “Like everything else that pertains to the child, there is due diligence to find the right agent. It’s okay to interview the agent as well, and ask questions in terms of what they’re going to do for your child.” Michelle is in South Africa this month to work with aspiring actors.

Make it clear to your child that if he isn’t chosen, it’s not because he is not good-looking enough or clever enough. Casting directors have very specific ideas on the look and type of performance they want for just that one shoot. step 3: be there to take the call and go to the casting Now, you sit tight. At this point, your child is one of many on the agent’s books, waiting for a brief that calls for a child of just her gender, age and look. When that call comes, be prepared to change your plans on short notice.

Insider’s tip: A good casting agency takes care to match the face to the brief rather than throwing everyone on their books at a casting. It’s also important to manage your child’s expectations. “It can be disappointing to get excited about a casting but not get the job,” says Daniel

Coetzee, 12, who has been in front of cameras since he was 10. Nicky agrees, adding that parents should try to avoid building up their child’s expectations. “Make it clear to your child that if he isn’t chosen, it’s not because he is not good-looking enough or clever enough,” she says.

“Casting directors have very specific ideas on the look and type of performance they want for just that one shoot. The next one will be totally different.”

step 4: work it, baby The Cutest Moppet in the World has finally landed her first commercial. You wake up at 5am to get to the film location, an hour out of town, by 6:30am and arrive just in time for a great flurry of… nothing. Film and photo shoots tend to involve a lot of hurry-up-and-wait, which can be frustrating for first-timers and little ones. Although child labour laws state that children under 10 are not allowed to work more than three hours a day, and thereafter not more than four hours, they may still have to be on set from early in the morning until late afternoon. Fortunately, everyone knows an unhappy child is a stubborn child, so they

the industry works like this…

Duncan Rice, of the Helen O’Grady Drama Academy, says casting directors or advertising companies will contact a casting agency or model agency with a profile of what they want. The agency will send photos of children on their books who match the profile. If the actor or model is chosen, the agency will contact their parents to advise how much the child will earn, less their commission.

If there is agreement, the casting agency will sign the actor’s contract.

Some agencies may charge a yearly administration fee to have a child’s profile on their website or to take photographs. Be aware, however, of excessive fees as these could be a scam. There is no need to pay to attend any casting. “The golden rule for casting and model agencies is that you should not have to pay any money upfront.”

Read the contract carefully before signing your child, and do your homework. You should find information about the agency on the internet if it’s a scam, for example. Promises of fame and fortune are generally unrealistic. Trust your gut and don’t be hoodwinked by flattery.

magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPH AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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ou see the child on the cover of this magazine and think “so sweet”. Of course your little one is cuter, even if you say so yourself. So why isn’t she on the cover?

She could be. She could also be the cute child with the miniAfro who struts her stuff in that television ad for nappies. To make the leap from doting mom to mom-slash-manager of the next baby Heidi Klum, you will need to summon up some time (yours), patience (yours again) and willingness (your child’s). Then it’s a case of following these six steps.

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February 2013

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your child’s life

go to great lengths to ensure that little ones are kept well fed and happy. “A day on set includes all meals. And each child is assigned a crew member who keeps them entertained and makes sure they get their make-up done and know where to go,” says Justine. “My six year old is so comfortable with the whole business by now that I just stand back and let them take care of him.”

Insider’s tip: “Make sure your child gets a good night’s rest before a shoot. Tired children tend to be uncooperative on set,” says Linsay. “And be sure to bring their favourite toys, blankets and drinks along.”

It’s important that you, as the parent, find the right balance between being there for your child and getting out of the way so that the director and photographer can do their jobs. “Sometimes I can see that Troy needs a little time to warm up to the environment.

Then I step back and let him settle,” says Justine. “However, there was one job when I thought the producer kept him working too long, so I called my agents. They put a stop to it immediately.”

step 5: pace yourself for payment After all the deadline-driven casting and shooting, you’ll have to wait a good few weeks, sometimes months, before your

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child receives final payment – and even then you won’t be certain of how much the full amount will be until it arrives. This is because payment generally consists of two parts: a guaranteed fee for the time spent on set, which is usually a flat day or half-day rate, plus an additional usage fee if your child features in the final campaign.

It is quite possible, especially in television commercials, for your child to be edited out of the final cut. In this case, you will only be paid the guaranteed flat fee.

Insider’s tip: Brush up your tax knowledge. Like every other working Joey, child actors and models have to pay PAYE, so you will need an income tax number for your child. The agency will deduct this tax, plus its fee, before handing over final payment. Depending on your child’s annual earnings, you will be able to claim a portion of this tax back when you submit his or her annual tax return.

step 6: rinse and repeat The film and modelling industry is very reputation-driven, and child stars are no different. If your child enjoys what he is doing and is good in front of the camera, and if you have the time and patience to take him to castings and shoots, usually on short notice, word will spread and job offers will follow. Earning their own money

is also a boon, and a learning opportunity.

“Daniel has opened his own bank account and looks after the money he has earned.

That’s a wonderful thing, especially at 12 years of age,” says his mother, Janine.

Insider’s tip: Children’s interests change, and the day may come when your little Brad Pitt becomes more interested in computer games than getting his hair slicked back for a shoot. When that happens, let him bow out without a fight.

“I told my son from the beginning that

this is a great opportunity for him, but if he didn’t enjoy it I would honour that and withdraw him from the agency’s books,” says Grace Adair, whose son Joshua, 14, has been performing since he was 12.

“Life is about learning and having fun.

Give your child the freedom to love what he does and do what he loves.” Michelle says, “The world of show business can be very cold. Very early on I would have the child understand that they are valuable for who they are, not for booking a part.”

law and order The performing arts is one of the few exceptions to the general prohibition on employing children under the age of 15. However, the employer must apply for a permit to do so, and will not receive one if he or she has been convicted of a crime against a child. There are some strict rules around working conditions.

• Children under 10 should not work more than three hours a day, or four hours a day for over 10s.

• Children under 10 can’t be expected to be on set for longer than eight hours a day, or 10 hours for over 10s.

• Children under 10 must get a half-hour break after 90 minutes of work, or after two hours of work for over 10s.

• Children can’t be expected to perform at night, after 10pm and before 5am, more than three times a week.

• There must be a safe recreational area where children can rest and play.

• Parents must be allowed within sight and sound of their children at all times.

• No child should be exposed to physical or emotional danger as a result of the performance, based on either the child or the parent’s assessment of the situation.

Source: Department of Labour’s “Sectoral Determination 10 for Children in the Performance of Advertising, Artistic and Cultural Activities”

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dad’s blog

the nappy run Modern dads are doing diapers, and more, observes

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MARC DE CHAZAL, who (thankfully) hung up his nappy bag a good few years ago.

appies, I’m happy to say, are a thing of the past in my life. However, I was inadvertently dragged down memory lane at a recent event for dads. The majority of fathers sitting around the breakfast table have children who are either still in nappies or have recently been potty trained, so there was a lot of talk about the challenges of this stage of parenthood.

Here’s what I found interesting: these rugby-watching, golf-playing dudes spoke about nappies, because they have actually changed a revolting, gag-inducing diaper. And they are keen to tell the tale, as every heroic survivor of a life-threatening situation is wont to do. I’m sure they’d rather be swinging a golf club any day than slinging a smelly diaper into the refuse bin, but their stories are proof that fathers have evolved.

Sure, they tend to approach the whole nappy thing like businessmen who can tell you what each one costs and how this fits into their family budget, but they’re

emotionally in tune as well. They clearly understand that changing a child’s nappy is not merely a disgusting necessity to alleviate discomfort; it’s also a practical way to actively support their partners. It should be a partnership, after all, even if mothers are the ones sending fathers out to dutifully hunt down the last pack of the latest, fanciest slip-on nappy that can soak up a lake without leaking so the little chap can hopefully sleep through the night.

It’s harder than it sounds – you need to come home with the right nappy for the right age and weight. Science is involved.

How I kept my breakfast down after all this talk of disposable versus cloth nappies remains a mystery, but I’m glad to know that there are fathers out there changing nappies, occasionally waking up at night to feed a hungry baby, and being honest about the hard slog of raising children. Maybe fathers could be doing even more around the house, but diaper slinging is a good start.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Maybe fathers could be doing even more around the house, but diaper slinging is a good start.

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Read more of Marc’s weekly parenting blogs on childmag.co.za/dad-blog

February 2013

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education

education 101 Changes to the curriculum make it difficult to keep up with the new terminology our schools use. MICHELLE JONES helps us make sense of it all.

for parents to keep up with the new terms and concepts being used. For example, is your child a pupil in Standard 3 being taught by a teacher, or a learner in Grade 5 taught by an educator?

who’s who Learner refers to a child who attends school.

Educator is the person in front of the classroom, formerly known as a teacher.

Public schools are managed and funded by the Department of Basic Education.

Independent schools were previously known as private schools and are privately governed. They operate according to their own regulations and do not receive government funding.

grades The grades and phases of education are broken up as follows: Grade RR The year before Grade R. Children should be three turning four in this year.

Grade R This reception year before a learner starts Grade 1 is now compulsory for all learners.

Foundation Phase Grades R to 3.

Intermediate Phase Grades 4 to 6.

Senior Phase Grades 7 to 9.

Further Education and Training Phase Grades 10 to 12.

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new curriculum Curriculum and Assessment Policy Statements (Caps) provide an in-depth guide for teachers to plan their time and structure lessons, and detail what work they are expected to cover each term. The statements also list which textbooks, workbooks and other media should be used.

Every subject in each grade has a single, comprehensive and concise Caps document that will provide details on what educators ought to teach and assess on a grade-bygrade and subject-by-subject basis.

The implementation of Caps began in 2011 and is to continue until 2014.

It has already been introduced in

Grades R to 3, and in Grade 10.

This year, it will be introduced in Grades 4 to 9 and Grade 11. The number of subjects in Grades 4 to 6 will be reduced from eight to six.

Caps will be introduced in Grade 12 in 2014. It is not a new curriculum, but an amendment to the National Curriculum Statement.

The National Development Plan aims to eliminate poverty and reduce inequality by 2030, and it includes the goal that all South Africans should have access to education and training of the highest quality, leading to significantly improved learning outcomes.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

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chooling in South Africa is undergoing a transition with the Department of Basic Education midway through the implementation of a revised curriculum. Basic Education Minister Angie Motshekga says the priority of the department is to bring about fundamental changes in schooling outcomes. The comprehensive turnaround plan for schools is called Action Plan to 2014, which forms part of a larger vision called Schooling 2025.

This covers all aspects of education, including teacher recruitment, learner enrolment, literacy and numeracy and the overall quality of education. As these changes are introduced, it can be difficult

first day of school Grade R The child should be four years old turning five by 30 June in the year of admission. Panyaza Lesufi, spokesman for the Basic Education Department, says that education officials are on hand to ensure that children of school-going age are in school.

“Any child who has not been admitted at a school should contact the nearest district office for placement. Each district office has dedicated officials to monitor and enforce departmental admission policies as well as the placement of learners in schools.”

Grade 1 The age of a child starting Grade 1 is five turning six by 30 June in the year of admission. A child can also be six, turning seven, which is the latest age at which a child may start school, according to the SA Schools Act. School is compulsory for children between the ages of seven and 15.

Admissions Each province, and every school, is able to determine their own admissions policy in line with national policies. This means that schools are able to set out, based on their resources and capacity, whether learners will only be accepted from certain areas and how to choose which learners to accept. Lesufi says, “Schools’ governing bodies develop their own admission policies in line with the provincial regulations. The school’s admission policy must be ratified by the department to ensure compliance with both the provincial and national policy.”

Parents are encouraged to apply to more than one school as it is often unlikely their child will be accepted by their first choice. The SA Schools Act says public schools may not charge a registration fee, a deposit, readmission or preadmission fees, or any other fees, at the time of application.

When you apply for a school, you need to supply a copy of your child’s ID and immunisation card.

Feeder zones The use of feeder zones, which limits admission to learners living within a certain radius of the school, is

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becomingly increasingly rare. Some schools in Gauteng have feeder zones, so if a parent’s home or work address is within a 5km radius of the school their child’s name will be added to waiting list A. In terms of the Gauteng Department of Education’s admissions policy, those who live or work outside this feeder zone, will have their names placed on waiting list B. KwaZulu-Natal Department of Education head Nkosinathi Sishi, sent a circular to officials, principals and governing bodies last year saying that schools’ admissions policies for 2013 would not be determined by feeder zones.

Western Cape schools may in terms of their own admissions policy indicate areas from which children can be accepted, although feeder zones are not determined by provincial policy.

Siblings Having a brother or sister in a school won’t guarantee admission for the next sibling that applies. “This issue is not in the national or provincial policy, but some school governing bodies have included it in their admission policies to assist parents in transporting their children to a single school rather than driving from school to school. Other schools do not prioritise the issue of siblings,” says Lesufi.

Refusal of admission The national admission policy is clear that the only reason to refuse the admission of a learner is when the school is full. “The principal of the school is expected to provide parents with written reasons if a learner cannot be admitted. Parents can apply to the provincial education minister if they are not satisfied with the reason provided by the school for the nonadmission of a learner.” This issue hit the headlines last year when Rivonia Primary School principal Carol Drysdale was charged with misconduct and insubordination for refusing to enrol a Grade 1 learner. The Supreme Court of Appeal ruled in favour of the school’s governing body, saying that the provincial education department

did not have the authority to override their decision on the number of learners the school could admit.

Applications Enrolments for the next year begin in March in the Western Cape and in May for Gauteng. Parents in KwaZuluNatal can apply in August.

other changes • Common Task Assessments (CTAs) came to an end for Grade 9 learners.

• There has been a reduction in the number of projects for learners and the removal of the requirement for portfolio files of learner assessments.

Learners, from the foundation phase,

ANA 2012 numeracy and literacy tests for Grades 1 to 6 and Grade 9.

What the tests revealed:

7 million the number of learners that wrote the ANA 2012

2 percent the number of Grade 9s who scored more than 50 percent for their numeracy/mathematics test

Basic Education Minister Angie Motshekga says the ANA helps parents gauge how well their schools are performing and advises teachers of potential weaknesses in their class.

are able to learn in their mother tongue.

The department began the process of distributing literacy and numeracy workbooks to all learners from Grades 1 to 6. Each book contains 128 worksheets and students are encouraged to take the books home so parents can be involved in their children’s learning. By the end of each school year learners will have four workbooks, two for mathematics and two for language, which they will be able to use to keep track of their progress.

• The annual national assessments (ANA), tests which assess learners’ knowledge in maths and literacy, were implemented for the first time in 2011.

in the classroom The revised curriculum means that the subjects learners need to cover in the classroom will be different. From 2013 the following subjects will be offered in the intermediate phase: • a home language • first additional language • mathematics • life skills • natural sciences and technology • social studies and in the senior phase: • languages • mathematics • natural sciences • life orientation • social studies • technology • arts and culture • economic and management sciences

February 2013

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straight up

positively single Parenting alone is challenging, so make sure you surround yourself with supportive people. By HELENA KINGWILL

the singles’ club This may be why Donna Smith, a single mother from Cape Town, moved away from a group of other single moms she met in a corridor when she realised that they were caught up in complaining about their lives. Celebrated author Eckhart Tolle names this phenomenon “the pain-body” in his book, A New Earth – Awakening to your Life’s Purpose (Plume Books).

The pain-body is the emotionally-charged

energy field one carries that is activated when something has hurt or upset you.

When two or more people with a pronounced pain-body get together, this energy field becomes more powerful. The huddle of single moms Donna encountered seemed intriguing until she sensed that towering above them was the spectre of their collective pain-body. Donna knew that her equilibrium would have been disturbed had she joined the conversation, and she didn’t want to go there. Toll’s advice is to observe these things, and be aware of oneself and one’s reaction to them, so as not to be too drawn in emotionally.

Thelma Price, a mother of two from Cape Town, has married twice and is again single after experiencing both divorce and the death of her spouse. She says the worst part is feeling unacknowledged for the enormous amount of work one has to do as a single parent. Then there is the struggle with one’s own emotional burdens of grief and disappointment and, in the case of divorce, the awful feeling of having been rejected as a person. She joined a women’s support group to find guidance, but soon left. “The women were fuelling

survival kit for single moms (and dads) • F orgive and let go of anger and blame towards your ex. It doesn’t serve you; it just keeps you trapped in negativity and pain and jeopardises your children’s relationship with their other parent.

• Don’t sweat the small stuff – prioritise happy children over a perfectly tidy home.

• Be organised and plan ahead. Preparing lunchboxes and clothes for school the night before may help prevent panic in the morning. Cook and freeze food ahead for evening mealtimes, or shop online for ready-made evening meals, which may be a lifesaver when you are too tired to cook.

• Be realistic about how much you can take on and don’t over-commit.

• Get over the guilt factor. Your child will notice if you constantly feel you have to compensate for the other parent’s absence, and will use it as leverage to manipulate you. For example, if you’re a mom and have a son, find him a male mentor you approve of and send them camping, especially if he is in his teens.

• Save money where you can: change to a cheaper moisturiser, downscale your DStv or cellphone contract. Good financial planning is the path to true independence and liberation.

• Find your new tribe. Make a conscious effort to create a community of people who can relate to your situation, and make them your new family. It takes a village to raise a child.

• When you decide to start dating, avoid bringing a new man into your home until you are really sure he is for keeps. This is a hard lesson to learn. Your children want constancy and security, not to be casting agents for the new “dad” character in their movie.

• Don’t try to be a supermom. Be honest about the help you need and don’t be afraid to ask for it.

• A hobby or a special interest that allows you to express yourself creatively can be an excellent outlet and can even potentially generate a second income.

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If you behave like a victim, you will not only become a victim of your circumstances, but so will your children. each other’s anger at their ex-husbands. It seems to be an easy trap to fall into.”

Ronnel Rothschild of Cape Town, who has raised her son alone for most of seven years, says, “Although support groups provide a safe space, separate from society, where the common issue is being a single parent, these dynamics make it easy for them to turn into whinge clubs, unless they are well facilitated. Therapy is ideal, if you can afford it.” She advises single parents to enjoy their free time doing something positive, rather than spending it complaining about the difficulty of their situation.

a societal norm According to Statistics SA, only one third of South African children live with both parents. Although a third of these are left with grandparents, the rest usually end up with their mothers. Despite the fact that it is such a common modern phenomenon, single mothers are still not given much social or physical support by the system.

Loneliness can be one of the greatest stumbling blocks for a single mother trying to maintain a positive attitude. “You have to do everything on your own, as there is one less set of hands,” says Marana Bosazza, a mother of four who single-handedly runs an organic vegetable farm and food gardens at schools in the Ciskei. She has been a single mother for seven years. “Single dads go through the same thing. It’s a problem caused by the modern nuclear family.”

Traditional African tribal society is probably the most forgiving environment to be a single parent in, as childcare is shared communally. Marana suggests sharing households with another single parent. “If you both have children, you can help each other and it’s a great way of finding support, short of staying with family.”

She admits that single parenting can be relentless. “Burnout is a common problem.” She advises other single parents to get enough sleep and go for regular massages. “Stressed people need to be touched. The stressed single parent doesn’t necessarily get physical touch except with their children. Then they take out their stress on their children. So you must have a physical outlet.”

In spite of all this, Marana has no regrets. “Getting divorced was the best thing I have ever done. I am a whole person now. Seven years ago, I hardly knew who I was. Now I am completely transformed. I even look different.”

When you start looking, there are plenty of upsides to being a single mom.

Ronnel says she is relieved to not have to split her time and energy between her child and her partner. She also doesn’t have to consult someone about decisions.

“Being married doesn’t necessarily mean one has more help. Many fathers are absent,” she points out. “I am so grateful to have my son in my life that I never feel hard done by.” magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

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he fear of having to raise children alone is probably as ancient as marriage itself. All through history a woman who is widowed or divorced has faced the risk of discrimination, isolation and poverty. Today, being a single parent is not unusual, but the historical stigma still hovers like a dark cloud. Even with modern conveniences, it’s tough to parent alone. But, as with other challenges, the outcome of your situation is determined by your mental attitude. If you behave like a victim, you will not only become a victim of your circumstances, but so will your children. It is essential that you maintain a positive attitude and get the help you need.

education

so, you should know…

Undercover and in for the truth, CHRISTINA CASTLE gets the low-down on exactly what teachers wish they

PHOTOGRAPH AND ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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could tell you straight to your face.

ometimes I wish I could be a fly on the wall of the staffroom at my sons’ school. I would just love to know exactly what these teachers really think.

So I sent an email to three very different teachers, at three very different schools around the country in the hope that they could get their staffrooms talking and, in turn, spill the beans. Anonymously, of course. And what came back was brutally honest. So parents, it’s time to face the music. These are the not-so-secret seven things teachers wish they could tell you – no holds barred.

Stop putting so much pressure on your child to perform.

Be realistic about your child’s abilities – in the classroom and on the sports field.

Today’s parents are highly competitive and expect unrealistic greatness from their

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children. It’s not about being the best. It’s about doing their best. In fact, failing is just part of life’s journey.

at home, interest in what your child is learning and a signature in the homework book each evening.

Do you know how hard we actually work?

You’ve counted just how many weeks make up the school holidays and you’ve noted that school finishes around about mid afternoon. Bit of a cushy job. What many parents don’t take into consideration are the hours of lesson preparation that go on behind the scenes (no, teachers don’t just stand up in front of a class and wing it) and all the extracurricula commitments

Give your child the independence they need to learn.

While some parents need to be encouraged to participate more in their child’s education, others need to be told to back off a little. Letting go is tough, but in order for your child to learn, they need to stand on their own two feet, make mistakes and operate independently.

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they sign up for or have assigned to them.

Be more involved in your child’s learning process.

While the teacher is a vital component, the role of the parent is to provide support

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4

Discipline and manners should be taught at home.

And supported at school. Parents are often not able to spend enough time with their children, they have abdicated their responsibility to discipline and to teach manners to the teachers.

5

Do not drop off your child late.

It is the responsibility of the parents to get the child to school on time. Essentially, lateness shows a lack of respect for the child, those around them and the school.

The child generally takes the rap and may miss out on important information or a new concept that is often shared first thing in the morning or at the beginning of a class.

Catching up on this is tough for even the most tuned in, assertive learner.

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Take ownership – stop blaming.

Teachers are not miracle workers.

There is only so much they can do. We all expect good results, but when hard work is not put in from all involved, then good results cannot be expected. Teach your child to take responsibility for his work and his property. It’s a lesson he will carry with him for life.

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February 2013

19

health

break the cycle Daycare may be a hotbed for germs and infections, so make sure your child has a fighting chance. By KIM MAXWELL

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recently visited a crèche in my neighbourhood, with my husband in tow. We were investigating daycare options for our two year old. It was within walking distance of our home and the group was small with the emphasis on play.

I’d heard great reports from other parents about its firm but loving environment, yet first impressions put me off. Three children under the age of four had snotty noses and, after we’d looked around for 10 minutes, no one had arrived with tissues to sort out the problem.

children have constantly runny noses; it’s usually clear, sometimes with a mild fever attached. There may be coughing from a postnasal drip. With crèche syndrome it’s about the continuous virus load, one after another, that wears down their health,” she says.

Sometimes it’s difficult to distinguish between crèche syndrome, which is spread through sick children rubbing their noses and then touching their friends and their toys, and allergies caused by pollen or pets. “By the time the virus

not child’s play Crèche syndrome refers to an ongoing cycle of colds, sniffles and more serious illnesses when young children are infected at a crèche or playgroup where they come into contact with other children on a daily basis. After repeated infections their immune systems become compromised. Cape Town paediatrician Dr Hanneke Heyns says crèche syndrome strikes from eight or nine months old, when some babies start daycare, and is prevalent among toddlers. “These

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February 2013

has infected the first child and travelled through another 10 children at crèche, it reinfects the original child because its form has changed,” she adds.

What about the argument that children infected by germs develop necessary antibodies? Yes and no. Heyns says babies have no immunity at birth aside from their mother’s antibodies, which are transmitted via breast-feeding. Young children need contact with a certain amount of viruses so that if they catch a cold, their bodies can make antibodies to build resistance for a magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

I have a huge problem with the dishing out of antibiotics without a proven bacterial infection.

healthy immune system, which helps them get better quicker. But crèche syndrome doesn’t build enough resistance because of the unrelenting cycle of illness.

Antibiotics that are prescribed frequently and without justification compound the problem. Heyns says antibiotics are rarely the solution because most children’s infections are viral. “I have a huge problem with the dishing out of antibiotics without a proven bacterial infection. Antibiotics are not beneficial due to children’s immune systems being broken down and they have side effects such as teeth problems,” she cautions.

fight it with food Durban paediatric dietician Kerryn Gibson says good nutrition is essential in fighting crèche syndrome. After repeated bouts of illnesses many children battle to catch up the weight they lost. Georgina Crouth of Joburg put her daughter into crèche at four months old. Kalyn has been a poor eater since birth. Now almost two and a half years old, she’s tall for her age but generally underweight and has been

ill often. “Kalyn is always battling upper respiratory and ear infections, gastro and conjunctivitis. She’ll have a snotty nose and within a day or two it will be an infection requiring treatment by a doctor and usually antibiotics. Once she had gastro for four days and we just couldn’t get it under control,” says Georgina. “I’ve been fortunate to be allowed to work from home when she’s sick, and although not ideal for me, it’s better than some of Kalyn’s classmates whose working parents drop them off sick.”

Gibson says, “The problem is that many toddlers are fussy eaters and parents fall into the trap of feeding them something they know they’ll eat; often frozen and processed meals instead of nutritious foods. Their immune systems and gut health become impaired so they catch colds frequently and become constipated. This can spiral into a vicious cycle of eating less and catching more infections.” Parents of fussy eaters should examine their own eating habits as toddlers will mimic their behaviour. Setting mealtime boundaries is helpful.

immune-boosting eating Breakfast Toddlers should start the day with high-fibre unsweetened breakfast cereals or porridge with milk.

Lunchbox Ideas include sandwiches on brown or whole-wheat bread with chicken, tuna, cheese or peanut butter toppings.

Protein This is extremely important for a healthy immune system and children should eat fresh and preferably stewed, grilled, stir-fried or baked chicken, fish, red meat, lentils or legumes daily.

Fruit Whole fruit, fruity yoghurt and even drinking yoghurts make better lunchbox treats than biscuits, chips, chocolates and sweets. Aim for three to four portions of fruit and vegetables daily. The fruit and vegetable rule is the more colours the better: red, yellow, green and orange, and eat these fresh if possible.

Fruit can be frozen but not tinned. Only give dried fruit occasionally.

Added value “A general multivitamin for children younger than five can be beneficial, particularly if your child isn’t eating well. But it isn’t a fail-safe solution to avoid eating properly,” says paediatric dietician Kerryn Gibson. Look for a broad spectrum multivitamin with vitamins A, B, C, D, E and K, and minerals zinc and calcium.

your crèche syndrome checklist 1 Ask questions whenever antibiotics are prescribed. Colds, flu and gastro are caused by a virus, and antibiotics don’t kill a virus; they only kill bacteria. Viruses can cause throat and ear infections but bacterial infections play a bigger role.

2 Give your child an annual influenza vaccine, available from clinics and pharmacies, from the age of six months onwards. Influenza can be life-threatening.

3 Parents can only relieve the symptoms of crèche syndrome. If these danger signs are present, alert your doctor: persistent fever with a temperature above 38°C, fast breathing, a chesty cough and wheezing, green nasal mucus, diminished interest in eating and drinking, and vomiting.

4 Don’t dry out a runny nose. Use a salt-water nose spray to loosen the phlegm.

Steam and elevated sleeping also help. Healthy eating and removing a child from crèche for the duration of the illness will allow their immune system to properly recover.

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February 2013

21

spotlight

when bullying goes viral The anonymity and accessibility of the internet has changed the tone

hen you give your child a cellphone or allow him onto the internet, you give him the opportunity to explore the online world and communicate with you and his friends. The statistics, however, also indicate that the second you put that smartphone in his hand, a whole new world of potential bullying, known as cyberbullying, opens up, and it doesn’t stop when you pick him up from school in the afternoon.

“Preliminary results indicate that while the number of bullying incidents remains high, cyberbullying is on the increase in South Africa and constitutes approximately one third of the total number of reported cases. Home is no longer a haven and cyberbullying among children is very much a problem in our society today,” says deputy headmaster at Western Province Preparatory School in Cape Town, Alister Payne, who has done extensive research on the topic.

the digital playground Cyberbullying can be defined as any behaviour perpetrated though electronic media which repeatedly communicates hostile or aggressive messages intended to inflict harm or cause discomfort. While the three main attributes of bullying are repetition, intention to do harm and an imbalance of

Due to disinhibition and the lack of immediate feedback, offenders are less likely to be aware of the damage being done and they don’t get to see the difference between funny and cruel,” he says. “With playground bullying, a bully sees his victim’s face, reaction and body language.”

Home is no longer a haven and cyberbullying among children is very much a problem in our society today.

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power, these lines can become blurred. Payne says the difference between a child being harassed and being bullied depends on the repetition. “A single once-off harassment action, such as posting a message on Facebook or a video clip on YouTube, can easily be copied, shared and distributed broadly, which then constitutes the repetitive element.

why it’s on the rise

In South Africa, with the vast majority of children and teenagers having access to cellphones, such cyberbullying happens on a daily basis. Payne’s research indicates there was no significant difference between time (duration) spent on the internet and cyber victimisation. There was however a statistical significance between frequency and cyber victimisation. The conclusion is that users that check communication frequently are at greater risk. Internet usage statistics show that of the 88 percent of pupils who own a cellphone, 82 percent have internet access via their phone, irrespective of whether they were from low-, middle- or high-income communities.

magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

w

of bullying, making it more insidious. By TORI HOFFMANN

“While cellphone ownership in 2009 was high, at about 90 percent, the ability to access the internet almost doubled by 2012 and this is where the problem comes in. Messages sent via WhatsApp or BBM have become the weapon of choice,” he says, adding that increasingly cheaper broadband in SA fuels the problem.

what’s in it for them?

Cyberbullies largely do what they do for revenge, entertainment, out of boredom and to get a reaction from their peers and whomever they are victimising. And they often suffer from very low self-esteem too. You’re a cyberbully if you post an embarrassing picture of someone on Facebook and watch it get shared; if you send a series of cruel messages or say something threatening via SMS or you upload an embarrassing or ugly video of someone on YouTube. If you do any of this anonymously, you’re most definitely cyberbullying. Children who might never be mean in the real world sometimes bully online because of the feeling of anonymity that the internet gives them.

What’s more, says Payne, is that anonymity also minimises the chances of being caught. Pupils who would not normally engage in traditional schoolyard bullying may be tempted to do so because of the anonymity.

“Cyberbullying is a crime of convenience,” he says, adding that preliminary results indicate that in a third of

magazine pretoria

reported cases of cyberbullying, the identity of the bully was unknown to the victim. In almost half the cases, the perpetrator/s are from the same school. That said, children often don’t even realise what they’re doing, and according to Heather Hansen from TeenWorx, a company offering antibullying and cybersafety workshops, it’s not always that the cyberbullying is necessarily intentional, but rather that they send SMSes and post things on Facebook without thinking. “We find that children don’t always think about the consequences of their actions. They get caught up in the moment, create a post, and the next thing they know it’s become viral. A lot of the time, they don’t do it to deliberately hurt someone,” she says.

“For example, they might make a ‘who’s hot’ list on Facebook, without realising that the person who doesn’t make the list will be completely devastated.”

target practice It’s not just high school children that are at risk. Grade 6s and 7s are definitely vulnerable and Payne’s research shows that the greatest frequency of victimisation occurs among 12 and 13 year olds. He adds that the results also indicate that girls are more likely to be victims than boys. As one would expect, many victims of traditional bullies are also victims of cyberbullying, and many cyberbullies are also traditional bullies. “However, a

37%

the number of South African children who have been cyberbullied – UNISA survey

February 2013

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spotlight

number of traditional victims also tend to be perpetrators of cyber harassment, as they use the anonymity to retaliate,” he says.

signs and repercussions The victims of cyberbullying will suffer from many of the same effects as those who experience bullying on the playground or in the classroom: low selfesteem, frustration, anger, depression, loss of friends and exclusion from social activities. Other warning signs include falling behind in schoolwork or becoming very anxious. “If your child starts behaving differently, for example, not wanting to participate in her favourite sports, then

at school and at home. He may not like it, but he’ll thank you later.

“While some schools don’t allow smartphones in the classroom and are very strict about it, others do as they are used as research tools, so it’s a very grey area. You can, however, create a technology corner in the home and have a cut-off time,” he says. “Some families get their children to plug in their phones in the evening to charge. Don’t let them use it as an alarm clock; rather buy one.” Hansen agrees and urges parents not to let their children use their computers and laptops in their bedrooms. “Have them work in an open space and take away their devices at least an hour before bedtime,” she says.

Children who might never be mean in the real world sometimes bully online because of the feeling of anonymity that the internet gives them. something might well be up,” says Sandie Johnson of TeenWorx. “If you notice that your child has become angry or depressed, has unexpectedly stopped using his phone or computer, appears nervous or jumpy – especially if the phone beeps – is uneasy about answering the phone, has a sudden change in social behaviour or avoids discussions about online activities, these are all indicators of potential cyberbullying victimisation,” says Payne.

parental guidance is advised Your child may come to view his smartphone with mixed feelings, because as much as he loves having one, once he has it, “he’ll find that there is nowhere to hide”, says Payne. “In the past, home was a haven of protection, but now victims can be targeted anywhere and at any time.”

This is why you have to limit the amount of time that your child spends on his phone,

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“What the research shows is that one of the main reasons why your child might not tell you that he’s being bullied is because he’s scared you will take the phone away from him and he’ll lose his internet access, so you need to think carefully before you threaten to confiscate a phone entirely,” says Payne. In a worst-case scenario, take the phone away and provide a cheaper alternative where you can still insert a SIM card so that your child can communicate with you.

Be informed and maintain an open relationship with your child so that if he’s being bullied, he will tell you. “It’s also vital that parents investigate thoroughly, find out the identity of the person, keep evidence by never deleting, tell their child to stop responding and take action to become directly involved,” he says.

Lastly, Payne stresses that parents need to teach their children the difference between what’s funny and what’s cruel. “In magazine pretoria

some cases, it’s clear that the behaviour is intended to hurt. For example, if it’s anonymous, it smacks of the intention to do harm. However, in many cases children don’t realise that they are causing distress,” he says. In other words, the intended message can be misinterpreted because they lack the emotional maturity to interpret tone. The results, as we know, can sometimes be disastrous.

schools’ responsibility They should teach empathy, says Payne, as this is something that’s not easy to feel through a screen. Also, since Grade 6s and 7s may already have phones, it’s crucial that they are educated in antibullying. “What is of concern is the gap that exists between what preteens perceive as cyberbullying behaviour and the reported incidents of cyber victimisation. There are extensive traditional anti-bullying programmes in place, educating children, providing support and coping strategies, but these appear to be ineffective in combating cyberbullying,” he says. Johnson adds that children also need to be taught how to stand up for their friends and to speak up if they spot something offensive online.

for help at your fingertips: • Cybercrime is an awareness portal that provides access to relevant and trusted local and international resources. The site also features help for reporting suspected activities. Visit: cybercrime.org.za • The Centre for Justice and Crime Prevention is a Section 21 company that works to develop, inform and promote evidence-based crime prevention practice, with a particular focus on children and youth.

Contact: 021 447 1818 or visit cjcp.org.za • The Security Association of South Africa or The Private Security Industry Regulatory Authority will provide a list of legitimate private investigators to track sources of bullying. Contact: 031 764 6681 or 012 337 5530 • Eblockwatch might also assist you, and they have in the past traced and put a stop to cyberbullies through their extensive network. Visit: eblockwatch.co.za • SA Depression and Anxiety Group Contact: 011 262 6396, 0800 205 026 or visit sadag.co.za • Childline Contact: 0800 055 555 or visit childline.org.za (they have a facility whereby a child can speak to them online via Mxit)

keep tabs on their online activities • M ake sure you know who your child’s friends are on their BBM, WhatsApp, Mxit, Facebook and Twitter accounts. In the same way that you wouldn’t drop off your child at a house where you didn’t know the child or parents, you need to know who your child is talking to online.

• Be your child’s friend on Facebook or BBM so that you can keep an eye on him.

• Install Mobiflock (mobiflock.com); it works on Blackberry, Android and Nokia devices and has a tool that allows you to lock down the usage on your child’s phone. When you give your child a cellphone, you have to explain that it comes with a set of rules and regulations. Mobiflock should be one of them.

• Keep a tight rein on your children’s online activities. Parents should only allow their children access to a computer and cellphone on condition that they are able to view the contents of the device at any time. Random checks on the phone are advisable and if you see that your child has been abusing the phone, there should be repercussions. Your responsibility to keep your child safe overrides his right to privacy. Remember that children are not equipped to deal with cyberbullying. Even if they feel that they can cope with it, they can’t.

• Check the safety settings on your child’s Facebook account and stick to age limits and requirements. Don’t let your child onto Facebook until he’s 13.

Children need emotional maturity to handle such accounts.

• If your child is being bullied, you can delete and block the perpetrator.

Remember, though, that you can’t delete and block people from real life, so you need to speak to the parents and the school and preferably resolve the issue.

take action • • • • • • • • •

Get counselling for your child if necessary.

Speak to the bully’s parents. Don’t meet alone; take a witness.

Speak to your child’s class teacher.

If the situation does not resolve itself, speak to the grade head.

Meet with the principal about your concerns.

If there is no solution, consult the Department of Education.

Report the cyberbullying incident to the police and get a case number.

Consider consulting a lawyer.

The last resort would be to remove your child from the school.

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resource

roots, shoots and muddy boots Children don’t usually associate vegetables and salad with fun, but SAMANTHA VAN RIET shows you in her book how to encourage your children to plant, and eat, their own greens.

corn fritters • • • • • • •

about 3 cups cooked sweet corn 1 wheel feta cheese, crumbled 2 eggs 1 cup flour 1 teaspoon baking powder ½ cup milk oil for frying

1 2 3 4 5 *

ift the flour and baking powder together.

S Beat the eggs and milk in a different bowl and add this to the flour mixture.

Now add the corn and feta and stir.

Heat oil in a pan.

Fry spoonfuls of the mix (4 fritters at a time) until golden on one side, then turn over and fry on the other side.

Delicious with a sweet chilli sauce.

tomato tart • • • •

1 roll shop-bought puff pastry 1 large handful of small tomatoes basil leaves or basil pesto (see pesto recipe on the right) 1 small block of cheese: Camembert, mozzarella, or even goat’s cheese

1 Unroll the puff pastry and lay it out flat. Score a line about 2cm from the edge all around the sheet of pastry to make a frame.

2 Prick the part inside the frame with a fork all over, to prevent it from rising as it bakes.

3 Cut the cheese in blocks and sprinkle it over the dough on the inside of the scored line. Sprinkle the basil leaves over the cheese, or spread basil pesto in between the cheese blocks. Now place the tomatoes all over with the cut side up.

4 Bake in the oven at 200 Cº for 20 minutes, until the pastry is golden.

basil pesto

1 Take three cups of basil leaves, one clove of garlic, half a cup of Parmesan cheese and half a cup of nuts (walnuts or pine nuts). Use a hand mixer or a pestle to grind all the ingredients together.

2 Bit by bit, add one cup of olive oil. Keep on mixing the ingredients as you add the oil. The mixture will become a paste. It shouldn’t be too fine. Add salt and pepper. Store the paste in a screw-top container in the fridge.

Basil pesto is delicious on pasta, like spaghetti. You can also add a teaspoon of basil pesto to vegetable soup.

This beautiful children’s book, Roots, Shoots and Muddy Boots (Tafelberg Publishers, an imprint of NB Publishers), will inspire budding gardeners between the ages of six and nine to grow their own vegetables, and show them how to use the fruits of their labour in simple, yet tasty, recipes. They will learn about planning a garden, types of soil and preparation, planting and pruning and the all-important task of harvesting.

There are also craft projects for them to tackle. Each page offers plenty to do with useful bits of information, photographs and illustrations. Van Riet, an illustrator by profession, came up with the idea when she struggled to find a suitable gardening book for her children. Available at all good bookstores.

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magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPHS: A GOOSEN / A BLOM / S VAN RIET / shutterstock.com

about the book

books

a good read for toddlers

The Buttons Family – Going to the Dentist

By Vivian French and Sue Heap (Published by Walker Books, R72) This book is part of a series of six brilliant new first experiences books about the Buttons family for children from the age of three. Dad’s got toothache and Mom says it’s time all the Buttons go to the dentist for a checkup. The dentist shows Charlie, Cherry and baby Lou how to look after their teeth.

In these charming, funny picture books with gentle, nondidactic messages, the Buttons family gives children the reassurance they need to take their first steps in the world – whether it’s going to the doctor, buying new shoes, visiting the dentist, starting school, staying the night at Gran’s or having a babysitter for the first time.

Farmer Clegg’s Night Out

By Peter Bently and Jim Field

Let’s Leap Ahead – Phonics

By Alex A. Lluch

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R89) The atmosphere in the farmyard is electric.

Old Farmer Clegg may be tucked up for the night, but there’s a talent show about to take place and all the animals are desperate to win. Will a break-dancing horse take the top spot? Will the pop-singing sheep twins be offered a recording contract? Competition is fierce, but nobody’s counted on a certain farmer with a sleepwalking habit. Children from the age of three will adore this very funny story and its bright illustrations.

Parents might remember the author and illustrator who also collaborated on Cats Ahoy!

(Published by WS Publishing Group, R105) This handy book makes learning fun for children from the age of three. It teaches them the fundamentals of spelling and reading with engaging activities. The notepad format, with its 80 pages of learning fun, makes it easy to use at home or on the go. It comes with a nontoxic dry erase marker and eraser and it has an elastic holder to keep the marker in place.

Other books in the Let’s Leap Ahead series include Alphabet, Numbers and Colors & Shapes. Also try the Let’s Leap Ahead apps.

for early graders Big Questions from Little People Compiled by Gemma Elwin Harris (Published by Ecco Press, R265) Children have the knack of asking great but challenging questions such as: Why is the sea salty? How far away is space? Why can’t I tickle myself? What makes me, me? This book gathers over 100 real questions from children and puts them to knowledgeable experts. Alain de Botton explores how dreams are made. Kate Humble explains why lions roar.

Heston Blumenthal answers the question about why we cook food. Their answers to the big questions; some complex, some searching, some surreal and some just plain cute; make this an essential handbook for anyone who wants to understand the complexities of life, the universe and why cake tastes so nice.

for us Conversations with my Sons and Daughters

By Mamphela Ramphele (Published by The Penguin Group, R233) Ramphele is a leading South African academic, businesswoman, medical doctor and a former anti-apartheid activist. In these conversations with people of a younger generation, she responds to the growing despair among young South Africans about the cracks appearing in our system of governance that threaten the idealism of the country that reinvented itself in 1994. She shows how successive post-apartheid ANC governments have betrayed the nation by fostering a culture of impunity among those close to the seat of power, where corruption goes unremarked and accountability has been swept aside. She encourages the youth to overcome their fears and to take control of their rights and responsibilities as citizens. magazine pretoria

for preschoolers

iThemba in Where There’s Life There’s Hope

By Lulu and Tee (Published by Linda Fellowes, R65) With poaching a serious threat to our rhino populations, it is up to our two-ton heroine iThemba, and her game ranger friend Joe, to save her skin when poachers call. Children will love reading about how iThemba and Joe foiled the wicked horn hunters one dark night in this exciting tale, while learning about these magnificent creatures. This book is loosely based on the real-life arrest of rhino poachers in the Kruger Park and teaches children about our endangered rhino, and that their future, and the future of our planet, is in their hands. To order a copy, visit africanpenguin.co.za

for preteens and teens

Where Things Come Back

By John Corey Whaley

double award winne r

(Published by Atheneum Books for Young Readers, R95) This is a poignant and hilarious story of loss and redemption. In the summer before Cullen Witter’s senior year of high school, he is forced to examine everything he thinks he understands about his dull Arkansas town. His cousin overdoses; the town becomes obsessed with the reappearance of an extinct woodpecker; then his sensitive 15-year-old brother disappears. Meanwhile, the crisis of faith spawned by a young missionary’s disillusion in Africa prompts a frantic search for meaning that has far-reaching consequences.

parenting book Learning with Scrap

By Denise Berman and Susan Connolly (Published by Early Learning Resource Unit – ELRU, R95) This book was compiled in response to a growing need for ideas and patterns for making inexpensive educational toys for young children. There are 60 ideas for making preschool equipment for each activity area, with instructions illustrated through step-by-step drawings. Where needed, patterns to size are provided. No expensive tools are required. The book also describes how the toy or game should be used and what children learn by playing with it. Preschool and preprimary teachers, parents, childminders and others who care for young children will find the suggestions useful. To order, visit elru.co.za February 2013

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calendar

what’s on in february

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY

7 thu

special events

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FUN for children

30

only for parents

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bump, baby & tot in tow

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how to help

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SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Camping tours Pack a tent and spend the night at the zoo.

The advantages of Montessori education A talk that highlights the main advantages children derive from a Montessori preschool education.

Parent-child workshops Learn how to do baby sign language and understand all your baby’s needs and wants.

Sunnyside Soup Kitchen Help feed those less fortunate than yourself by giving them a healthy serving of soup.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

ASG Night Rider MTB Series A fun mountain bike race for the whole family around the beautiful Rosemary Hill Farm.

SPECIAL EVENTS 2 saturday Passion for Speed Historic motor-racing vehicles and motorcycles battle it out for supreme honours in legendary races.

Various racing cars from the ‘50s and ’60s take part, and there is a play park and entertainment for children. Motorcycles race in the Day of the Champion on Sunday. Also 3 February. Time: 8am–6pm.

Venue: Zwartkops Raceway, off the R55, Pretoria West. Cost: weekend ticket: adults R130, students R100, children under 12 free. Contact: 012 384 2299, info@ zwartkops.co.za or visit zwartkops.co.za

3 sunday Askari Lodge Farmers Market An authentic “boeremark” invites you to browse through the craft and food stalls, which are set up among the ox wagons and heritage museum. Enjoy old favourites such as koeksisters, melktert, potjiekos, mampoer and ginger beer, and watch the elephants play in the dam over lunch. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Askari Game Lodge, Plumari Private Game Reserve, Doornhoek, Magaliesberg. Cost: free entry. Contact Pat: 014 577 2658/9, info@askarilodge.co.za or visit askarilodge.co.za Maragon Platinum Mile Swim Experienced swimmers set off in the 3km swim at 8:30am. Thereafter beginners from respective age groups have their turn.

Disabled swimmers and those interested in taking part in a fun 600m swim set off at 2pm.

Time: 7:30am–2pm. Venue: Buffelspoort Dam, North West Province. Cost: R112 per swimmer, fun swim R56. Contact Kevin: 083 679 2473 or Di: 083 254 3628, disdolfins@ gmail.com or visit entrytime.com Vintage and classic car show View a collection of the finest motor vehicles, and bring your picnic baskets and swimming gear. Time: 8am–6pm. Venue: Lovers Rock Family Resort, Rustenburg Rd (R24), Magaliesburg. Cost: adults R60, children R30, vehicles R30. Contact: 014 577 1328, 081 522 5878, info@loversrock.co.za or visit loversrock.co.za

6 wednesday Cool Box Dance The Mannie Erasmus Band provides the music. Bring your own picnic hampers as braai facilities are available.

Time: 7:30pm until late. Venue: the hall at the Voortrekker Monument’s picnic site, Eeufees Rd, Groenkloof. Cost: R120 per couple, R70 per person. Contact Manie: 082 445 4136 or visit voortrekkermon.org.za

7 thursday ASG Night Rider MTB Series A fun, mountain-bike night race enables children to compete over 5km and adults over 21km. There is a sandpit, jungle gym and trampoline, as well as a bonfire around which you can enjoy food and drinks. Space is limited. For children 5 years and older.

Time: children’s race 6pm; main race 8pm.

Venue: Rosemary Hill, N4 East, exit 18, plot 257 Mooiplaats, Boschkop. Cost: adults R120, children R30. Contact Karla: karla@ asgworld.co.za or visit asgevents.co.za

13 wednesday

3 February – Askari Lodge Farmers Market

Spar Lantern Night Race The 10km and 5km routes are lined with dazzling lanterns to guide you through the scenic farmlands to the finish line. The race starts at 6:15pm. The 10km is only for runners 15 years and older. You can enter online or at The Sweat Shop and Run-aWay Sport stores near you. Time: 6:15pm.

Venue: Agricultural Research Council, Olifantsfontein Rd, Irene. Cost: 10km R40, 5km R30, temporary license for the 10km R30. Contact: 012 654 0005 or visit enteronline.co.za

8 fri

Dads’ and lads’ night golf Night golf is played without lights, but with a glow stick inserted in the ball, with the only visible target on the green a glow-in-the dark marker. This format of golf guarantees laughs and it’s a great way to spend time with your children.

For children 12 years and older. Time: 6pm. Venue: Protea Hotel Ranch Resort, Limpopo. Cost: adults R225, children R175. Contact Sean: 015 290 5000, seanpappas@vodamail.co.za or visit theranch.co.za

15 friday Nicholas McCarthy in Concert Nicholas McCarthy is an accomplished one-handed pianist who graduated from the Royal College of Music and performed at the closing ceremony of the Paralympics, alongside the British Paraorchestra and Coldplay. Time: 7:30pm. Venue: Linder Auditorium, Wits University, 27 St Andrews Rd, Parktown. Cost: R330. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com

16 saturday Hartebeesthoek Radio Astronomy Observatory Take a tour of this working observatory and learn more about radio astronomy and the Space Geodesy research currently being conducted there. Bring your own refreshments. Space is limited.

Time: 4pm–8pm. Venue: HartRAO, farm 502 JQ Hartebeesthoek, Broedestroom Rd, Krugersdorp. Cost: adults R45, students and pensioners R35, preschool children free. Contact: 012 301 3100, info@hartrao. ac.za or visit hartrao.ac.za Zoo fun walk Enjoy a 5km walk or run around a few of the animal enclosures inside the zoo. Time: opening time 6am, walk 6:30am. You must finish before 9am.

This walk is held every third Saturday of the month. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St, Pretoria. Cost:

adults R40, children R25. Contact: 012 323 0294, info@friendsofthezoo.co.za or visit nzg.ac.za

23 saturday Deloitte Pretoria Marathon Entrants are treated to live music en route and can recover with the physiotherapists’ help at the finish line. Jumping castles to entertain the children and refreshments are also available. Wheelchair entrants are welcome, but you may require a runner to assist over the grids on Klapperkop.

Time: 42,2km and 21,2km 6am, 10km fun walk 6:30am. Venue: Pretoria High School Old Boys Club, Hofmeyr Park, cnr Kings Highway and Queens Crescent, Lynnwood.

Cost: 42,2km, R102,60; 21,1km, R68,40; 10km, R36; 10km fun walk, R46; temporary licence R36. Contact Elise or Hennie: 083 267 0308, 072 312 3858 or visit deloitte. com/za/ptamarathon

24 sunday Park Acoustics Enjoy an afternoon of South African music with a view of Joburg and Pretoria. Three to four bands perform per gig. Time: from 11am.

Venue: Voortrekker Monument, Eeufees Rd, Groenkloof. Cost: R60–R100. Book through Ticketbreak: 012 327 6601, 012 326 0560, parkacoustics@gmail.com or visit ticketbreak.co.za

family marketplace

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calendar

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Art in the Park An open-air art gallery is set up in the park on the last Saturday of every month. Meet the artists who created the artworks and sculptures. 23 February.

Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Magnolia Dell, cnr Charles St and University Rd, Bailey’s Muckleneuk. Cost: free entry. Contact Hannes: 071 676 3600, info@art-in-thepark.co.za or visit art-in-the-park.co.za Humanity’s past and origins Visitors can enjoy an interactive, self-guided tour around the centre, learning about the formation of the earth’s continents and the development of humans and their ancestors over the past few million years.

Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: Maropeng, The Cradle of Humankind. Cost: adults R125, pensioners and students R85, children 4–14 years old R70, children under 4 free. Contact: 014 577 9000, childmag@ maropeng.co.za or visit maropeng.co.za Melrose House Visit this elegant example of a Victorian home. Time: 10am–5pm, every Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: 275 Jacob Maré St, across from Burger’s Park. Cost: adults R9, children R5. Contact: 012 322 2805/0420 or visit melrosehouse.co.za

classes, talks and workshops Bead Some More Create jewellery, wall decorations. For children aged 10 years and older. Time: 2pm–4pm, every Thursday.

Venue: Bead Some More, 402 Mendelsohn St, Waterkloof Glen. Cost: R400 per month.

Contact: 012 998 8577, 083 979 6668 or beadsomemore@gmail.com Theatre Bugs Participants are taught various stage skills and develop selfconfidence. For children aged 6 years and older. 2 and 16 February. Time: Grade 0– Grade 3, 2pm–2:45pm; Grade 4–Grade 6, 2:15pm–3:10pm; Grade 7 and upwards

18 mon

Hollywood 2 SA An interactive workshop with one of Hollywood’s finest film and casting directors, and the acting coach to A-list Hollywood actors, Michelle Danner. A talent show takes place on the Sunday, with Michelle as the head judge. For children 6 years and older, teens and young adults. 18–24 February. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Old Mutual Theatre on the Square, Sandton.

Cost: varies per workshop. Contact: hollywood2sa@gmail.com or visit facebook.com/hollywood2sa

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3:15pm–4:15pm. Venue: The Moonbox at the Guide Facility Hut, cnr Bruce Rd and Krige Lane, Irene. Cost: registration fee R150, R680 for half-year (January–June). Contact Clive: 084 804 0490, tshwaneyouththeatre@ gmail.com or visit pytheatre.co.za Using your mind Children learn that their minds are gifts that can help them improve their lives. Booking essential. 9 February. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm. Venue: 422 Trevor Gething St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R300 per child, R150 per joining sibling or parent. Contact Caryn: 082 602 7689 or info@gowiththeflow.co.za Zeal Family Programme By establishing a foundation of sound emotional intelligence (EQ), families become more aware of their feelings, which they can actively manage to make better choices and motivate themselves.

Children attend the programme once a week for four weeks, with parents attending during the first and last week. For families with children 5–13 years old. 23 February. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm. Venue: The Pretoria East Life Studio, 319 Acornhoek St, Faerie Glen.

Cost: R3 600 per family (two parents and one child), R400 per additional child. Contact: 079 162 6465, michelledl@equalzeal.com or visit equalzeal.com

family outings Fun day at Varkie Vang With loads of entertainment and a Miss and Mr Valentine.

16 February. Time: 10am. Venue: Varkie Vang Animal Farm, Derdepoort Recreation Resort, Baviaanspoort Rd, Derdepoortpark.

Cost: adults R50, children R30. Contact Remonde: 072 786 0266, info@varkievang. co.za or visit varkievang.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Camping tours Fall asleep to the sound of a roaring lion after you’ve enjoyed a night tour around the zoo and a bring-and-braai. Bring your own tents and camping equipment.

Booking essential. Time: from 5pm, Friday– Saturday. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St, Pretoria CBD. Cost: adults R135, children R90. Contact: 012 339 2700, info@nzg.ac.za or visit nzg.ac.za Hartbeespoort Aquarium This facility features a variety of freshwater and tropical fish as well as a seal, penguin, pelican and crocodile show that takes place three times a day on weekends: 11am, 1pm and 3pm. Time: 8:30am–5pm, daily. Venue: off the R511 in Melodi, Hartbeespoort. Cost: adults R50, children R20. Contact Greg: 082 469 2979 or hbtaquarium@gmail.com Irene Dairy Farm Enjoy a picnic as your children play on the jungle gym. Bring your own blanket and chairs and book a custom-made picnic or mix and match your own by buying items from the farm shop and deli. Time: 8am–6pm, daily.

Venue: Irene Dairy Farm, Nellmapius Dr, Centurion. Cost: varies. Contact: 012 667 4822 or visit irenefarm.co.za Zoo night tour Take an informative walk around the zoo with a guide who shares information. Time: 6pm, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St, Pretoria CBD. Cost: adults R90, children R75. Contact: 012 339 2700, info@nzg.ac.za or visit nzg.ac.za

Bead Some More

markets

sport and physical activities

Fare on the Square A variety of art and crafts are on sale, alongside tasty eats, treats and fun entertainment. 24 February.

Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Irene Village Mall, cnr Nellmapius Dr and Van Ryneveld Dr, Irene. Cost: free entry. Contact: 012 662 4446, info@irenevillagemall.co.za or visit irenevillagemall.co.za Klip Klap Market A market with a passion for art and antiques set in a tranquil setting on the outskirts of Pretoria East. 17 February. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: 78A Leander St, Olympus, Pretoria East. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 755 0586 or visit klipklap.co.za Pretoria Boeremark There is live music, fresh produce and a selection of art and crafts. Time: 5:30am–9am, every Saturday.

Venue: Pioneer Museum, Keuning St. Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 416 3900, ptaboeremark@tlu.co.za or visit pretoriaboeremark.co.za The Fig Platter Market A food and craft market with a jumping castle to keep children entertained. 2 February. Time: 9am–2pm. Venue: Wekker St, near The Village Shopping Centre, Moreleta Park.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 647 4642

aQuellé Midmar Mile Swim the Midmar Mile in pink and raise awareness for breast cancer. You still need to register on the midmarmile.co.za website. 9–10 February.

Time: 8:30am. Venue: Midmar Dam, Pietermaritzburg. Cost: R300 (includes a pink swimming costume, pink towel, wet pack, sunscreen, water bottle, energy bars).

Contact: 011 998 8022, cara@pinkdrive. co.za or visit pinkdrive.co.za Go Speed Racer! Children can put the pedal to the metal at this indoor go-karting track. Time: 10am–4pm, daily. Venue: K1 Racing, Kolonnade Shopping Centre, cnr Dr Van der Merwe St and Zambesi Dr, Montana Park. Cost: from R60 for 10 laps.

Contact: 082 929 0411, success4u-2@ absamail.co.za or visit k1racing.co.za Introductory fly fishing clinic Snare a sought-after yellowfish or bass and release it back into the river. Time: 6am–6pm, Saturday–Sunday. Venue: Magalies Barbus Haven, Steenkoppies, R24, Magaliesburg.

Cost: varies. Contact: 011 315 4503, 083 414 0391, sundown@iafrica.com or visit sundowneradventures.co.za

on stage and screen Crash & Bernstein Catch this new comedy series that combines live action with puppetry. Follow 12-year-old Wyatt Bernstein, the only son of four children, whose new puppet, Crash, comes to life.

Starts 9 February. Time: 9:20am, on Disney XD, channel 304 on DStv. For more info: visit dstv.co.za

playtime and story time Moyo Kids While you make the most of the restaurant fare, children can play, learn, create and dance. They can listen to stories, learn traditional African games and dances.

Time: 12pm–4pm, every Saturday and Sunday. Venue: Moyo Fountains, Fountains Valley Rd, cnr Eeufees Rd and Christina de Wet Rd, Groenkloof. Cost: free. Contact Kabele: 012 341 5729, kabele@moyo.co.za or visit moyo.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Basic sign language Today’s training covers workshops one and two in which you learn about food, animals, clothing, family and much more. Classes are presented in English and Afrikaans. Exclusive classes for parents and caretakers of hearing or hearing-impaired babies can be arranged.

Booking essential. 16 February. Time: 8:30am–3:30pm. Venue: Netcare Femina, Belvedere St, Prinshof 349-Jr. Cost: R370– R740, excludes refreshments. Contact Monita: 082 218 7339, contact@tinyhandz. co.za or visit tinyhandz.co.za Beading for beginners 9 February.

Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Bead Some More, 402 Mendelsohn St, Waterkloof Glen. Cost: R190, includes all materials.

Contact: 012 998 8577, 083 979 6668 or beadsomemore@gmail.com

17 February – Klip Klap Market

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Bead weaving Learn about the various stitches and intricate techniques. Booking essential. 23 February. Time: 9am–12pm.

Venue: Bead Some More, 402 Mendelsohn St, Waterkloof Glen. Cost: R240. Contact: 012 998 8577, 083 979 6668 or beadsomemore@gmail.com Equal Zeal Parenting Programme A four-week programme, designed to give parents perspective on their family situation. It follows the themes of happiness, inspiration, motivation and zeal. 19 February. Time: 7pm–9pm. Venue: The Pretoria East Life Studio, 319 Acornhoek St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R1 600. Contact: 079 162 6465, michelledl@ equalzeal.com or visit equalzeal.com Oils and Acrylics Learn about the colour wheel, how to mix paint and how to identify perspectives during a three-day course. 15–17 February. Time: 9am–4pm.

Venue: 377 Rupert St, Brooklyn. Cost: R1 900, includes all materials, lunch and refreshments. Contact Neil: 083 306 1635, neilmoss@mweb.co.za or visit neilmoss.co.za Sonic meditation group Release pentup stress with a deep relaxation through meditation. Bookings required. 3 February.

Time: 9:30am–11:30am. Venue: South African Centre for Sound Therapy, Meerhof, Hartbeespoort Dam. Cost: R150. Contact Wilna: 071 682 2548, wilna@soundtherapy. co.za or visit soundtherapy.co.za Tantalising Zumba Invigorating exercise that makes you feel good and keeps you full of energy. Time: 6pm, Tuesday; 6:30pm,

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Wednesday; 7pm, Thursday. Venue: Tuesday and Thursday classes: Events Hall, Pioneer Museum, Meyerspark; Wednesday classes: 262 Cradock Ave, Lyttleton Manor. Cost: R75 per class. Contact Annarie: 078 569 3028 or visit annariebrits.zumba.com Teachers ADHD Conference This conference is designed for teachers, practitioners, professionals and parents.

Listen to expert speakers in the field of ADHD, including medical specialists, psychologists, educationalists and therapists in a variety of fields. 9 and 10 February. Time: tbc. Venue: Wits University Education Campus, next to the Linder Auditorium. Cost: from R790, students R390. Contact: 011 888 7655, info@adhasa.co.za or visit adhasa.co.za The advantages of a Montessori education This talk, intended for parents, highlights the main benefits children get from a Montessori preschool education.

For parents of children 0–4 years old. 28 February. Time: 6pm–8pm. Venue: Morning Star Montessori, 357 Manitoba Dr, Faerie Glen. Cost: free. Contact Jenny: 083 602 4427 or visit morningstarmontessori.co.za The Five Love Languages of Children This workshop gives practical suggestions for learning how your children interpret love and helps you create a sense of security in which they can thrive. 28 February. Time: 7pm.

Venue: Soul Space, 78 Murray St, Brooklyn.

Cost: R150, excludes refreshments. Contact: 082 697 0908, gina@curiousminds.co.za or visit curiousminds.co.za

Weekly meditation classes The instructor provides a practical overview of meditation and helpful advice on how to develop and maintain a peaceful and happy mind. Bookings essential. All ages.

Time: 2:30pm–3:30pm, every Saturday.

Venue: Alkantrant Library, cnr Lynburn Rd and Daventry Rd, Lynnwood. Cost: R40.

Contact: 011 326 1982, info@meditation. org.za or visit meditation.org.za

on stage and screen From Bach to Mali Capetonian guitarist Derek Gripper dazzles as he performs a range of music from Bach to Mali. 3 February. Time: 3pm. Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison Rd and 13th St, Menlo Park.

Cost: R85–R120. Contact: 012 460 6033 or visit brooklyntheatre.co.za Somewhere in France With You A repertoire of French music, performed by Camille. 10 and 14 February. Time: 8pm, Thursday; 3pm, Sunday. Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison Rd and 13th St, Menlo Park.

Cost: R125–R160. Contact: 012 460 6033 or visit brooklyntheatre.co.za

out and about Brunch cruise A day for motorcyclists to test the performance and handling of their motorbikes. Instructors are available on the day. Jackets and helmets compulsory.

There is entertainment for the children and

3 February – Sonic meditation group

refreshments on sale. 24 February. Time: 7am–4pm. Venue: Zwartkops Raceway, off the R55, Pretoria West. Cost: R400 per rider, R60 per pillion. Contact: 012 384 2299 or visit zwartkops.co.za Free day for seniors Senior citizens older than 60 years can enjoy free entry into the zoo, the aquarium and the reptile park. The day starts with complimentary tea, coffee and biscuits. Bookings at the restaurant are essential. 12 February. Time: 9am. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St, Pretoria CBD. Cost: adults R60, children R40.

Contact: 012 339 2700 or visit nzg.ac.za Love at De Hoek Enjoy a romantic weekend with bubble baths, candlelit dinners, secluded picnics and country

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calendar walks. Bookings essential. 15 and 16 February. Venue: De Hoek Country Hotel, off the R563, Hekpoort. Cost: varies. Contact: 014 577 9600 or visit dehoek.co.za Rosewood School open day Meet the teachers and view the facilities. The school caters for preschoolers from 3 to 6 years old, and primary school learners from Grade 1–7. 16 February. Time: 9am–12pm.

Venue: 9 Panorama Rd, Rooihuiskraal, Centurion. Cost: free. Contact: 012 661 0261 or visit rosewoodschool.co.za

support groups Famsa Pretoria Provides assistance to families and individuals in need of counselling. Contact: 012 460 0733/8, famsa@absamail.co.za or visit famsa.org.za Kidz Clinics This clinic offers support to abused children. Venue: 1151 Procare, cnr Meyer St and Codonia St, Waverley. Contact: 012 332 0161 or visit wmaca.org.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Little Kickers open day Introduce your child to soccer skills. For children 18 months–8 years old. Time: 9am–11am, every Saturday. Venue: Centurion Action Sports, Office Arena Park, 272 West St, Centurion; and Club Sports Maritimo, 378 Richard St, Hatfield. Cost: free trial session. Contact: 0861 088 888 or visit littlekickers.co.za

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Parent-child workshops Learn baby sign language through music and movement in a fun, stimulating playgroup setting.

Booking essential. For parents of children 6–18 months. Time: 8:30am–12pm, every Friday and Saturday. Venue: Centurion.

Cost: R850, includes all materials. Contact Loren: 012 665 2878, 072 239 8498, info@ wecantalk.co.za or visit wecantalk.co.za

playtime and story time Mungolistix An indoor playground suitable for children 0–7 years old. Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: Mungolistix, shop 342 A, Centurion Mall. Cost: R35 per hour, R25 for groups of four; drop and shop R40 per hour. Contact: 074 122 2787, info@ mungolistix.co.za or visit mungolistix.co.za

support groups Amato Pregnancy Counselling Centre Supports women in pregnancy related crises. Venue: 996 Park St, Hatfield.

Contact: 012 342 3542 (office hours), 084 740 5418 (after hours) or visit amato.co.za Bedwetting support group 8am–5pm, Monday–Friday. Contact: 083 289 6640 Berg-en-Dal Pregnancy Crisis Centre Offers care and support to pregnant teenagers and women. Contact: 012 800 4700 or visit jacarandachildren.co.za Bethany Pregnancy Crisis Centre They offer counselling and provide physical support for those who are dealing with unplanned pregnancies. Venue: 182

Foundation Ave, Lyttelton. Contact: 083 728 9591 Little Miracle products and services They offer specialised, premature baby products as well as emotional support to parents of premature babies. Venue: 1242 Haarhoff St East, Moregloed. Contact: 0861 548 853 or info@littlemiracle.co.za Muscular Dystrophy Support System Emotional support, genetic counselling and advice for parents of children affected by muscular dystrophy. Contact Jan: 012 998 0251 or visit mdsa.org.za

Sunnyside Soup Kitchen Help feed those less fortunate by either sending 40 litres of soup or by giving a donation of R70 towards the purchase of ingredients for the church to make the soup.

Venue: Sunnyside Methodist Church, cnr Bourke St and Jorrisen St, Sunnyside. For more info: sunnysidemcsa@gmail.com

how to help Child Trace This nonprofit organisation aims to develop a child identification and verification system to help combat child trafficking. They need volunteers (aged 18–25 years old) and CIDI Diplomats (children 10–18 years old) to spread the message of child safety. Venue: 546 John Scott St, Constantia Park. Contact: 012 755 9471/3 or visit childtrace.org Share the LOVY story LOVY is a fun little orange character made into a cuddly toy for children aged 5–10 years old, especially for those in children’s homes and orphanages. Its purpose is to bring more love and happiness into their lives, to increase their self-esteem and to show them how lovable they are.

Donations welcome Contact: charity@lovylovesyou.com or visit lovy-lovesyou.com

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to pretoria@childmag. co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971.

Information must be received by 1 February for the March issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published.

To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

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it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

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finishing touch

unexpected epiphanies ANÉL LEWIS spends some quality time with her children,

t

Erin, Anél and Conor

here are some things in life that just can’t be bought, or even exchanged for a token. I learnt this, and several other surprising lessons, during my recent three-week break from work. I also discovered that much as I love my children, the only way to get through 48 minutes (and yes, I counted) of sitting cross-legged in a sandpit at the end of a long day, is with a small gin and tonic. And no, I am not advocating that you hit the bottle when you do things with your children. But there is nothing wrong with a genteel G & T at the end of an exhausting parenting day.

I also discovered that the maximum lifespan of a fist-sized ball of playdough is about two hours. Try as you might to

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keep it in its original form – malleable and slightly moist – it will eventually end up cracked and desiccated, squashed into the couch or smeared onto the floor. After just one afternoon of Erin “baking” with the noxious stuff, there was playdough stomped into the carpet, some rammed into the crevices of Conor’s fire truck and a few errant pieces embedded in her hair.

The blobs that did survive were carefully, or so I thought, stowed away for another day. But alas, I woke up the next morning to find the dogs lying prostrate in the backyard. Erin, bored with making butterfly shapes, had decided to create playdough “sausage rolls” for the dogs to snack on.

And clearly they didn’t go down too well.

If you are planning to go out in the morning, do not ask your two year old what she would like to wear. We were treated to an assortment of outfits each day, ranging from her swimming costume paired with gumboots, to an oversized T-shirt with an equine theme and the question “why the

long face?” emblazoned on the back. Yes, why indeed, I asked myself, as I realised that the show we were due to see had already started and Erin was no closer to choosing her ensemble for the day.

You can lead the toddler to the toilet… but after that, you have no control over what happens. I smugly thought that I would be able to potty train Erin during my stint at home. But my plan was derailed on day one, when I suggested that we exchange her nappy for pants, and she promptly replied, “No, I’ve tried that.”

Right, okay then. I guess sitting on the toilet seat is not going to happen any time soon either?

But the most notable lesson learnt was that the best activities are usually those that come free, and often in unexpected forms. As I work away from home, I looked forward to entertaining Erin at a play park during the holidays. But, she was unimpressed by the undulating snails; she turned up her nose at the indoor jungle

gym and would not be cajoled into riding a tractor. And so, after an excruciating hour in the blazing sun, mostly spent explaining to her that the neon armband clipped to her wrist entitled her to go on any ride she desired, we admitted defeat and headed for the parking lot.

And this was where Erin’s eyes lit up.

She spotted a silver trolley; one of those unwieldy ones used to move heavy planttype things like cycads, around the nursery.

“Mom, Mom, pick up,” she instructed. I obliged and pushed my delighted daughter around the parking lot while her brother squealed in amusement from his pram.

And there we had it, unfettered joy, no tokens required.

Anél Lewis is Child magazine’s features editor. She thoroughly enjoyed the 21 full days spent with her children during the holidays, but was also quite grateful to return to work, where she can once again do tasks that don’t involve playdough.

Follow her on Twitter:@ChildMagParent

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PHOTOGRAPH: STEPHANIE VELDMAN

and learns a few surprising lessons along the way.