Child magazine | PTA June 2014

P r e t o r i a’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

the

parenting issue the healthy way to sleep train do you take note of age restrictions? assessing developmental milestones

www.childmag.co.za

June 2014

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health

why moms need me-time fun ways to keep your children busy over the holidays

education

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Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

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Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Marc de Chazal • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • pretoria@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

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Welcome to the parenting issue.

We receive a steady stream of emails at Child magazine from parents desperately seeking help. I can empathise. Some days parenting feels like I’m running an obstacle course – clear one hurdle and the next one looms. My daughters have their ups and downs, which is normal, but the downs make clearing those hurdles seem impossible.

Quite honestly, parenting often seems like a series of face-plants, because I can’t prevent my foot from catching the crossbar.

And yet, despite everything, parenting is still the most fun to be had on the planet. You see, my daughters have

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a wicked sense of humour. They make me laugh till I cry and I have to sit down holding my stomach. Most often, the laughter is at my expense, but they are not averse to a healthy dose of selfdeprecation either.

When my family laughs, I know all will be well, now and when my children leave home – just as long as they keep coming back for mealtimes, filled with the laughter that expresses triumph over the trials and tribulations of life.

Happy Father’s Day! It’s precious to be one and to have one. I miss mine so much.

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June 2014

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contents june 2014

7 upfront

regulars

3 a note from lisa

6 pregnancy news – designer babies Tamlyn Vincent looks at DNA

5 over to you readers respond

testing on embryos

7 best for baby – put your fears to bed if you stick to a routine, the

features

battle against babies not sleeping is almost won. By Lucille Kemp

12 reasonable restriction Christina Castle admits that age restrictions have a place in this world

14 reaction time parents should have an action plan for children who suffer from severe allergies. By Vanessa Papas

16 the meaning of milestones Lisa Lazarus explains early developmental assessments for preschoolers

18 balancing me-time moms need to know when to let go and when to be present. By Helena Kingwill

20 the boomerang child Gary Koen explains the essence behind this modern family phenomenon

9 dealing with difference – hair today, gone tomorrow is your child suffering from hair loss? It might be Loose Anagen Syndrome, says Marina Zietsman

15 upfront with paul Paul Kerton gives advice on how to protect our children from the winter chill

22 resource – a club for everyone the holidays are sorted with this handy guide of activities and programmes for children.

Compiled by Simone Jeffery

26 what’s on in june 30 finishing touch children are like sponges, so we have got to watch ourselves, says Cassandra Shaw

31 a good read for the whole family

health 8 where there’s smoke...

Vanessa Papas warns against the debilitating effects of second-hand smoke

classified ads 29 let’s party 30 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by: Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

Claudia De Nobrega Photography • claudiadenobrega.com

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June 2014

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letters

au pair blues I employed an au pair, because as a mom I thought that’s what was best for my child. I could barely afford it, but did it for my child’s wellbeing. I was also desperate to find someone of the same faith (Muslim), thinking that we would have similar values. Au pairs of my faith are very hard to come by, so I was very limited.

I conducted a few interviews and chose the one that I thought best suited our family. She turned out to be a nightmare. After a couple of months, her true colours showed. Here are my tips for parents who are looking at employing an au pair…

Check all the information. Check qualifications such as first-aid certificates. Even if a copy of a certificate is supplied, phone the company offering the course to double check. If no work reference numbers are given, find the company’s phone number on the internet.

Applicants not supplying contact information are more than likely hiding something. Don’t only check references for childcare experience. This is important with regard to absenteeism and the nature of the person. The more you research, the more you will find out. Don’t be satisfied with one good reference. Contact all references, even if a reference letter is supplied. Check that the applicant did the work they claim to have done on their CV and not merely that he/she has worked there. By law an

employer has to supply the employee with a certificate of service. The reference letter should also preferably be on a letterhead. Phone the company and speak to the person referenced. I am aware of a case where the applicant had arranged for a friend to pretend to be the former employer. Be wary of applicants who have gaps in their employment history, even if such gaps seem justified, such as illness. Be wary of applicants who have short periods of employment. Just because an applicant is educated and has a good vocabulary does not mean that they are mature or responsible enough to look after your child or any other child for that matter. Look out for websites that only act as a platform for au pairs to chat. These websites don’t necessarily do training and placements. Draw up a three-month contract for a new au pair so that you may test the waters.

Nuraan Adam

congrats, child magazine!

Huge congratulations on Child magazine turning 10; more specifically I would like to commend you and your contributors for the incredible work that you do. To have witnessed the magazine’s growth over the years is inspiring. You have taken the education of parents and teachers to another level. I am often referring parents and teachers to articles in your publication. This is

over to you the school uniform debate In reply to Suzy Oliveira’s letter (April 2014) on expensive school uniforms: it is unfortunate that the cost of school uniforms is so stifling. Maybe the parent body can explore different options.

Our school has a shop, where learners who have outgrown their uniforms, or don’t need them for some reason, donate their uniforms to the shop and they are then sold at a fraction of the price. The monies go to the school or they go to another worthy cause.

Another option would be to put pressure on the school to adopt a standard uniform that can be reasonably purchased at chain stores. If a badge is necessary, then that could be sold separately and sewn onto the shirt or blazer by hand. Perhaps this would reduce the cost. There might be other feasible alternatives, but this initiative must come to the school from the parent body.

Michele Engelberg

online response In response to the online article “tub time” where Tamlyn Vincent gives five bath time activities for children to play in the tub and learn at the same time I love these ideas. Definitely gets me thinking differently about bath time with my daughter and son. I have

Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine

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a magazine that is, in my mind, of an international standard, both in its content and the progressive philosophy of childhood that underpins all its articles.

This truly is a South African magazine to be proud of, and the fact that parents and teachers are able to access this resource free of charge is nothing short of incredible.

Though I am a small contributor to the educational landscape of our country and have a very small voice in the greater scheme of things, please accept my heartfelt thanks and gratitude for the amazing work that you are doing.

Justin Skea Preparatory School Head, St Cyprians, Cape Town

thanks for a great read My day begins well when I drop my daughter at preschool and find our copy of Child magazine on her shelf. I loved Nicole’s letter titled “loving vermin” (May 2014). If she weren’t already in the field of creative writing or journalism, I would recommend she consider it. Well-written and beautifully descriptive, she had me grinning through the entire piece as I pictured this interesting household and could so identify with the whole scene. Keep up the great work Child magazine.

Liesl

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

always allowed my children to play in the bath, but this definitely brings bath time to a whole new level. I am going to start incorporating these ideas and it sounds like fun times ahead. Thank you for a great magazine. I look forward each month to receiving it from my children’s school. A very informative and interesting read.

Anonymous In response to the article “easing the itch of baby eczema” Our little boy had terrible eczema. We tried various remedies, but nothing worked. About a year ago I stumbled across a range of local hypoallergenic products for children. With some advice from their chemist and a new body care regime, which cut out all synthetic products and petrochemical-based products, he’s been eczema free ever since.

Jean In response to the online article “bullying – the parent’s guide” At my daughter’s school someone wrote “Loosa” on a picture that a girl drew of herself. These pictures were put up in the corridor of the primary school, which houses Grade RR to Grade 4. I am quite perturbed by this as it is extremely unusual that someone

randomly picked her picture and wrote over her face.

This form of passive-aggression is cowardly, hurtful and plain mean. How can children be so cruel?

Concerned parent My daughter just started Grade 2 at a new school and there is a boy in her class who is always calling her names, shoving and tripping her. I brought this to the teacher’s attention. She promised to look into it and then suggested moving my daughter to another class.

My question to her was: “Why is the bully not moved?“ Her response was that the boy has been at the school since last year and my daughter is still new, so she can make friends in a new class.

I refused the teacher’s suggestion, because I feel we will be telling my daughter that it is her fault that she is being bullied by moving her to another class and, in doing this, it may encourage the boy to bully other children.

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We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

June 2014

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pregnancy news

designer babies

i

magine being able to give children a life free from the worry of genetic disease by eliminating genetic abnormalities from the very start. With the development of genetic testing on embryos, these possibilities are a reality.

Preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) is being done more frequently with in vitro fertilisation (IVF), to test embryos’ DNA before putting them back in the womb. Dr Lawrence Gobetz, an infertility specialist in Joburg, explains that there are two reasons to biopsy embryos. The first is to perform preimplantation genetic screening (PGS), where the number of chromosomes is checked. If there aren’t 24 chromosomes, the embryo is at risk of Down’s syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. PGS can improve the success rates of pregnancy, says Jaysen Knezovich, laboratory director at Genesis Genetics. “Embryos that are genetically normal are more compatible with life,” says Knezovich, so failure rates are reduced.

But Gobetz cautions that it’s possible to find no normal embryos, especially with older couples, thereby excluding them from IVF. Preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), the other reason to biopsy embryos, is done to exclude genetic diseases such as Tay Sachs or cystic fibrosis, that one or both parents have or carry, says Gobetz. A specific test is designed around the genetic profiles of the parents, to identify a genetic condition in an embryo in order to eliminate it.

For many couples, going through fertility treatments is a difficult experience. Taryn, a mom in Cape Town, found her treatments stressful and invasive, especially when she and her husband didn’t know what the problem was. “PGT provides insight into the possible reason for pregnancy failures,” says Knezovich, which is valuable for the doctor and patient, especially if it means preventing the trauma of more pregnancy losses. Taryn points out that treatments are expensive anyway, so she would rather pay more for these tests and have answers. And couples that discover IVF isn’t a viable option will at least have that answer.

DNA testing on embryos can provide hopeful parents with

going forward

For some people, the issue isn’t the cost but the ethics. There are religious arguments and others claiming potential misuse.

Thanks to advances in DNA profiling it could soon be possible to get all sorts of genetic information from an embryo, giving rise to concerns about creating designer babies.

According to Knezovich the debates are mostly unresolved.

In the meantime, genetic testing is helping to build healthy families, although there are legal regulations. An embryo’s sex can be determined, for example, but performing gender selection without a sound medical reason is illegal in South Africa.

Genetic testing still has a long way to go, with new methods only in experimental phases. And even when they do become available they are likely to be very expensive. For now, Gobetz hopes that PGT will become more cost effective in the next few years, giving more couples the chance to have a healthy child.

the answers they need, but is it right? TAMLYN VINCENT

family value While PGD can help to exclude genetic diseases, it can’t tell how many chromosomes an embryo has. So Gobetz says it makes sense for couples doing PGD to also do PGS, but this is costly. PGS currently costs around R22 000, while PGD can cost R35 000 for one test.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

takes a closer look.

best for baby

put your fears to bed Your child will be sleeping if you stick to routine, are consistent in your efforts and you go about training good

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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sleeping habits gently and lovingly. By LUCILLE KEMP

ape Town-based mom Trudy found herself sleep deprived and frazzled for three straight years. Her first-born, Phyllis, just wouldn’t sleep. “The first time I considered sleep training was when Phyllis was about nine months old. Controlled crying was the method advised,” she says. An accumulated 90 minutes into the first (and last) session, Phyllis was inconsolable, Trudy’s last nerve was well and truly worked and she had kicked her husband out of the house. On many other desperate occasions Trudy would stow away in her car in an attempt to drive her restless daughter to sleep – Milnerton to Melkbos and back – to no avail.

Phyllis’s sleep problems may have become infinitely more resolvable if Trudy had known the advice of Sister Lilian Paramor: “With little ones the goal should not be to sleep through as their parents have been led to believe.

Finding practical ways of getting sufficient rest, even if not in one long stretch, is actually what is called for.”

While you may be advised, how you get there is your call. “If co-sleeping is working for your family, why change

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it? However, if co-sleeping is affecting your marriage or no-one is sleeping anyway, you may need to check your routine,” says Sister Ann Richardson.

teaching healthy sleeping patterns “The central aim of all sleep training is to train a baby to go to sleep without help,” says Anne Gethin and Beth Macgregor in the book Helping Your Baby Sleep. Given this, Sister Ann says to be aware of the “awake” time of your child as this will help you focus on preventing overtiredness, over stimulation and overfeeding, which all too often causes a desperate parent to fall back on feeding, rocking, bouncing or going for drives to induce sleep.

Keep your environment as womb-like and conducive to sleep as possible – wind down in the late afternoon to foster a calm atmosphere in the home.

When you’re in the throes of sleep training, things can get hairy and experts’ advice seems to repeatedly point to finding ways for calm to reign. The Parent Centre in Cape Town, which runs a moms’ circle, says that parents find a lot of comfort in sharing their experiences and lessons with

each other: “Some moms have tried leaving a night light on, playing a CD softly in the background and ensuring that TV noise is kept to a minimum.” Sister Lilian advises that you “don’t count the number of times your child wakes at night; in fact, pretend like it doesn’t matter. Don’t jump at the first sound your baby makes, but don’t ever let them cry inconsolably either. Plan ahead for wakeful nights by having everything at hand that you might need – keep the lights low and conversation to a minimum as you do what you have to right there in bed so that all that needs to be done is simply cuddle down together to continue sleep.”

helpful reading • S ister Lilian’s Babycare Companion by Lilian Paramor (NB Publishers) • Sleep Sense by Ann Richardson and Megan Faure (Metz Press) • Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach (Knopf Publishing Group)

June 2014

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health

where there’s smoke…

Second-hand smoke puts your child at risk of developing

oung children are more vulnerable to second-hand smoke than adults. “This is because their developing lungs receive a higher concentration of inhaled smoke than older lungs,” says Ayesha Seedat, a registered dietician at the Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa. “Children also have a faster breathing rate – as many as 60 (inhalations) a minute compared to that of a normal adult at 14 to 18 times a minute, which means they inhale second-hand smoke faster than adults.”

Babies and children exposed to second-hand smoke on a daily basis have more than triple the risk of developing lung cancer later in life compared to those growing up in smoke-free environments. “Their risk of having breathing problems, ear infections and tooth decay are also increased, along with serious illnesses such as meningitis, asthma, tuberculosis, heart disease and cancer. Babies exposed to second-hand smoke have an increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome, or cot death, while smoking during pregnancy leads to increased risks of miscarriage, still birth, low birth weight and premature birth. Children of mothers who smoked during pregnancy are more likely to develop asthma by the age of seven and more likely to suffer delays in their physical and mental development,” says Seedat.

what’s in that puff?

Magdalene Seguin, clinical specialist at the Cancer Association of South Africa (Cansa), says exposure of children to tobacco smoke is especially harmful in confined areas, indoors and in cars. “Second-hand smoke consists of both the smoke that is exhaled from the lungs of smokers and the smoke that is given off by burning tobacco between puffs. There is no safe level of exposure to second-hand smoke and even brief exposure can be harmful.” About half of the children worldwide, around 700 million, are exposed to second-hand smoke, particularly at home.

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She adds, “A single cigarette smoked in a room with poor ventilation generates much higher concentrations of toxic substances in the air than normal, everyday activities in the city. Toxic compounds from second-hand smoke linger in the air for an extended period of time; its nicotine compounds are deposited on household surfaces and in dust. The air quality inside a car with someone smoking is worse than the air quality found in smoky pubs.”

smoking regulations The Tobacco Products Control Act of 1993 makes health warnings on cigarette boxes law, prohibiting tobacco sales to persons under the age of 18 years old and regulating smoking in public places. Cigarette advertising and sponsorship has been banned since 1999. Adults may not smoke in a car when there is a passenger younger than 12 years old. Smoking is not allowed in premises, including private homes used for commercial childcare activities such as crèches, schooling or tutoring. The tobacco industry may not use “viral” marketing such as themed parties to target young people. Cigarette vending machines that sell tobacco products cannot be used to sell crisps, chocolates and other products that would appeal to children.

did you know?

Apart from nicotine, more than 4 000 dangerous chemical compounds are created in the smoke of a burning cigarette. At least 40 are known carcinogens that cause cancer in humans and many are highly poisonous. They include substances such as butane, found in lighter fuel, cadmium, found in batteries and formaldehyde, also used to preserve dead bodies.

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

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chronic diseases. By VANESSA PAPAS

dealing with difference

hair today, gone tomorrow When grown-ups start losing hair, we often joke about it, but hair loss in children is no laughing matter. MARINA ZIETSMAN looks at Loose Anagen Syndrome.

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our six-year-old daughter has short, thin, fair hair.

When she wakes up in the mornings, clumps of her locks are left behind on the pillow. When she removes her swimming cap, she also removes bunches of hair. When a friend accidently pulls her hair while they play, she pulls out a batch of hair. Loose Anagen Syndrome (LAS) is not physically painful, but it can be psychologically damaging.

medically speaking LAS is a recently diagnosed syndrome, which is believed to be a genetic disorder. Research has shown that the syndrome affects mostly girls between the ages of two and six years old who have fair or blonde hair. According to the American Hair Loss Association, it is not clear why the hair is loose, “but the root sheaths that normally surround and protect the hair shaft in the skin are not produced properly.” It also seems that because the root sheaths are not fully formed, the hair fibre is poorly anchored in the hair follicle. It may also be a keratin disorder, which is hereditary.

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

dealing with LAS There is no cure for LAS, but in most cases the condition improves as children grow older and disappears completely in puberty. Elma Titus, a trichologist with over 35 years’ experience, suggests parents should consult a dermatologist or trichologist if LAS is suspected.

Trichology is a branch of dermatology that deals with the scientific study of the health of hair and the scalp.

Specialists will perform two basic tests to confirm LAS: the hair-pull test and the hair-plug trichogram.

For daily care, Titus suggests the following: “Five percent Minoxidil solution applied twice daily helps to stimulate the hair follicles and prolong the growth cycle.

Aminexil and procapil can also be used as it keeps the hair longer in the growth phase. It also ensures better anchorage of the hair follicle and improves circulation.”

Titus recommends that you use good shampoos designed to stimulate hair growth as well as conditioners to lubricate and nourish it, “but get these products from reputable companies.” It’s also important to be gentle when washing LAS hair and to gently massage the scalp, as this stimulates the blood flow, which brings nourishment to the roots and stimulates growth.

“Sufferers should also drink enough water and consider a protein-rich diet because hair consists of keratin, a protein material,” says Titus. magazine pretoria

how to explain it to your child Natalie de Gouveia, a registered counsellor and play therapist from Linksfield in Joburg, says it may seem daunting to try explaining LAS to your child, especially considering you don’t have all the answers.

De Gouveia gives three tips to help you through the process: • educate yourself “Find out all there is to know about LAS; the causes, the symptoms and treatments,” says De Gouveia.

There is no cure for LAS, but in most cases the condition improves as children grow older and disappears completely in puberty.

• establish how severe your child’s case is “Every case is unique and the more you understand your specific situation, the better you are equipped to handle it and explain it to your child,” she adds.

• talk to your child about the condition “Keep the explanation age-appropriate,” says De Gouveia. “If your child is three years old, you shouldn’t use technical terms that will confuse them. Keep it simple: ‘Do you know how your brain tells your eyes to open and close? Well, something in your brain is telling your hair not to grow properly.’” De Gouveia says as a child grows older you

how LAS presents itself • H air is lustreless and does not grow.

• Sparse growth of thin, fine hair and patchy baldness, and hair that does not grow longer.

• Hair can be easily and painlessly pulled out of the scalp, though the hair is not fragile.

• Hair at the back of the head or skull tends to be rough and does not lie flat.

• Hair also appears frizzy, unmanageable and unruly.

• You will find decreased hair density and unruly hair, especially in children.

• LAS hardly ever presents itself in other parts of the body that have hair.

can give more detailed explanations. Then reassure your child: “Tell them that boys and girls of all ages and races can get LAS. No-one knows yet why this happens, but it is not because of something they did. The good news is that LAS just makes hair fall out. It doesn’t hurt or make you tired, like the flu or chicken pox. You can carry on playing and having fun.”

coping with the emotional effects of LAS in the classroom...

Having LAS, or any other physical deformity, can be isolating and make a child feel vulnerable. “For a child who is ‘different’ from their peers, teasing, stares and general isolation may be common,” says De Gouveia.

This will inevitably lead to a low self-esteem. It could also lead to the child avoiding school, which will negatively impact academic performance. “A child in this position is aware of her difference and, if unaddressed, feelings of shame and guilt will accompany the already muddled feelings,” De Gouveia says. “Because of the shame involved, the child may actually feel that their ‘problem’ is not something to talk about.”

De Gouveia reiterates that it’s important for parents of a child with LAS to provide support structures in all areas of the child’s life, including school. Approach the child’s school directly, and together with the teachers assess whether this is an issue of confidentiality. “If this is the case, the child and parents’ wishes need to be respected,” says De Gouveia. “LAS itself, after all, will not hold the child back from being involved in social and school activities. If confidentiality is not an issue, teachers can help by educating peers about LAS.” She says peers become more aware of what it feels like to be “different” when a caring and supportive environment is created. Activities designed to awaken tolerance, awareness and respect should help the child with LAS feel comfortable in the classroom and in social situations.

and at home…

“You’ll be surprised at how many people are going through the same situation and who share your feelings,” says De Gouveia, who recommends that parents find a support group. “If your child is being bullied or struggling with low self-esteem, you may want to attend therapy.” Your child will be able to express himself in a safe, comfortable way while gaining confidence and learning that they are not that different after all, just unique.

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your child’s life

reasonable restriction CHRISTINA CASTLE confesses to pushing the boundaries of age restrictions without even realising it, but admits they’re there for a good reason.

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movies and tv shows I recently took a long haul flight with my 13 year old. I sleep well on a plane. My son, however, does not and opted for a movie marathon instead. Between Cape Town and Sydney he watched three movies with age restrictions beyond his years.

“You watched Django Unchained?” I asked in disbelief as we stood at baggage collection.

“Mom, it’s an Oscar-nominated movie,” he replied, as if that made it any better.

“It’s a Quentin Tarantino film. It’s so inappropriate.”

While you can control what your children watch in your own home or at the cinema, you can’t necessarily control the movies and TV shows your child is going to be exposed to outside the home. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve told my sons they can’t watch a particular movie at home because they are simply not

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Games like these, exposed to the incorrect age groups, can be damaging. Games like these are now sitting in my underwear drawer. They’ll never think to look for them there.

books

old enough, only to be told “but I’ve seen it before – at Henry’s place.”

And just for the record, I did watch Django Unchained on our flight back to Cape Town, and yes, it did require damage control. Lots of it. It’s a great movie though, just not for 13 year olds.

Around the age of 12 my boys both discovered Spud.

Everyone was reading it. And while I was over the moon that they had finally picked up a book and were so keen to read, the content (although highly appropriate for what they were soon to become) was, I felt, a little out of their reach.

My husband (who is a boy) rolled his eyes and called me a prude. So I got over it and they klapped the series in no time.

However, there are some little readers who are years ahead of their age in terms of their reading abilities and perfectly capable of flying through the likes of The Hunger Games or The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Seductive vampires and reality killing shows are a bit different to a 13 year old who is waiting for his testicles to drop.

My advice: read what they are reading. Chapter for chapter if need be. It’s a great way to connect with your child and opens the way for interesting conversation on sometimes difficult or challenging subjects. Also, you’ll be exposed to a whole genre of books that you won’t necessarily find at book club.

gaming

music and concerts

While many TV and computer games are absolutely harmless, there are some that are “so not”. And, wait for it, another confession – we own a few of the “so not” variety. I put it down to ignorance on my part. Oh, don’t get me wrong, my boys knew exactly what they were getting when they begged me to buy them Grand Theft Auto (with their pocket money, I must add). “We play it all the time at Michael’s.” I just didn’t pay any attention to the age restriction on the box. I didn’t even think to look for it. I grew up in an era of Space Invaders and Pac-Man. But ignorance is bliss, until you realise your children are blowing each other’s virtual brains out.

Little Monsters beware! While I hear Lady Gaga puts on a fabulous show, it may be a little hard for some six year olds to digest. Or even the odd 46 year old. Am I being a prude again? No-one could have predicted that giant vagina. And I am just so glad I didn’t have to explain that one to an unsuspecting Little Monster.

But let’s not only point fingers at Lady Gaga; commercial music in general is loaded with dodgy lyrics, innuendo and visuals. And while most of it goes straight over those beautiful little heads, there will be something that sticks. We are exposed to it through every electronic medium, whether we like it or not. Listen to what your

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PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

kay, confession time. My children grew up on a diet of Monty Python. There was no escaping it. I blame their father for this and he quite happily accepts full responsibility. I think he’s proud of it actually. “Better than Bieber,” he’d say. And while my eldest was quite entertaining when he performed his own rendition of “silly walks” in a Grade 2 “show and tell” to an audience that may have found him just a little bit quirky, my youngest’s recital of “sit on my face and tell me that you love me” to a class of eight year olds was neither entertaining nor quirky. It was just downright out of line.

Whether you like it or not, age restrictions are applied to much of our media and entertainment in an attempt to protect our children from subject matter that is just not appropriate. While these age restrictions work primarily as a guide, it is the responsibility of parents and caregivers to practise them. And no matter how vigilant we may be to restrict our children from viewing and experiencing unsuitable material, they are going to be exposed to it.

child is listening to. And flip that switch if you don’t think it’s appropriate.

social media This is a scary one and requires vigilance on your part particularly. The concept of social media is still quite new to us. And while the likes of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest are a great way to connect with friends and

other social networks, they also expose users to potential threat and danger. We need a certain maturity to operate in that space and need to understand the consequences.

Many teens and adults get it wrong. How can we expect a tween to get it right? The age restriction for many social media platforms is 13. Yet there are so many children younger than 13 on these networks with their parents’ consent – potentially exposed to strangers every time they

go online. Parents need access to their children’s social network profiles no matter how old their children are. They need to say “you are too young for this, now go outside and kick a ball.”

Oh dear, I think I may have said too much. And best I end this article before I incriminate myself further. But let me attempt a little redemption first by asking that you acknowledge and respect these age restrictions.

classifications In South Africa, there are eight classifications that the Film and Publication Board applies to film: A: It means an all-ages category that is suitable for all.

PG: It means an all-ages category, but cautions sensitive viewers and indicates that parents and caregivers are in the best position to decide whether or not a child in their care may view the film or DVD for home entertainment purposes.

7–9: It means that the material is not suitable for children under the age of seven.

A parent or caregiver may decide if the material is appropriate for children ages 7–9 in their care, and if it is of particular entertainment or educational value for such children. Children of 7–9 years old may not be allowed to watch a film classified 7–9 unless accompanied by an adult.

10–12: It means that the material is not suitable for children under the age of 10.

A parent or caregiver may decide if the

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material is appropriate for children and to decide whether or not it is of particular entertainment or educational value for children aged 10–12 in their care.

Children from the ages of 10–12 years old may not be allowed to watch a film classified 10–12 unless accompanied by an adult.

16: It means that the material is not suitable for persons under the age of 16.

18: It means that the material is not suitable for persons under 18 years old.

Know your letters. These often accompany the above classifications: S – Sexual activity V – Violence L – Language P – Prejudice N – Nudity B – Blasphemy H – Horror D – Substance abuse SV – Sexual violence Classifications for TV and computer games are different and can be viewed at the Film and Publication Board website: visit fpb.org.za

X18: It means only a holder of a licence to conduct the business of an adult premises, set out in section 24 of the act, may distribute the film to persons older than 18 or exhibit such content to such persons within such premises.

XX: It means the material may not be distributed or exhibited in public by anyone and also not in the adult premises set out in section 24 of the act. In the case of child pornography it may also not be possessed anywhere.

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13

health

reaction time When faced with a child having a severe allergic attack, time is of the essence. VANESSA PAPAS explains why an action plan is essential to ensure your child is treated quickly.

to 10 puffs, one at a time) and the antihistamine given.

The ambulance must be called and notified that this is an emergency. If there is no improvement in five minutes a second dose of adrenaline should be given.”

living with an allergic child Lori Bentley from Joburg knows first hand how challenging it is to have a child with a severe allergy. At just days old, Lori’s son Ross was diagnosed with eczema and later developed asthma. When he was five years old he suffered a near-fatal severe allergic attack.

“He was bouncing on a hammock that had collected a layer of pollen and had a severe asthma attack from inhaling the pollen,” says Lori. “We were just lucky because I saw him within seconds of the reaction and rushed him to hospital, where they treated him and then told me he was critical. He tested positive for seven airborne allergens as well as peanuts and is at risk of life-threatening anaphylactic attacks. While we have done everything in our power to avoid nuts, we have had a few close calls.

A friend brought around some homemade soup a family

It’s important that parents and teachers know the difference between a mild episode and a severe anaphylactic attack. cephalosporins), painkillers (aspirin, NSAIDS, opiates) and radio contrast media (X-ray based imaging techniques).

Bee and wasp stings are also a major cause. Rarer causes are blood products, vaccines and allergen extracts in people undergoing injection immunotherapy.

“There are certain common signs that indicate a child is having a severe allergic attack,” says Levin. “Look out for urticarial rashes (hives), angioedema (swelling) and tingling of the palms and soles. Signs of severe anaphylactic attacks include upper airway (high-pitched ‘grating’ sound, coughing, throat clearing) or lower airway (wheezing, difficulty breathing) obstruction, abdominal issues (pain and vomiting), loss of blood pressure (leading to fast weak pulses and loss of consciousness) and central nervous signs (feeling of panic or extreme lethargy).”

Levin says it’s important that parents and teachers know the difference between a mild episode and a severe anaphylactic attack. “For mild attacks, an antihistamine is usually sufficient, but the child should not be left alone. They should be closely observed, their relatives called, and if they have an adrenaline injection (such as epipen), it should be urgently located in case the attack progresses. For severe attacks the adrenaline should be injected into the large muscle of the thigh immediately. If the child is asthmatic a dose of their reliever pump should be administered (six

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member had cooked for her. When Ross broke out in hives and started complaining of stomach cramps I knew he was having an allergic reaction, but had no idea where the nut products had come from. After investigating, it turned out that the vegetables in the soup had been sautéed in peanut oil. There have been a few other cases over the years, so we always have to be on our toes.”

Lori explains that having a food allergic child changes what you would think of as a “normal” life. “You develop a new ‘normal’ where you read labels on every new product you consider buying. You adapt recipes, leaving out the nuts if they are present and can be left out. You always ask if your child has his meds on him when he goes anywhere.

And you worry a lot when they go out on trips with their school or with friends. My son has also had to accept his condition. He has developed a system where he asks about ingredients before he eats anything that is not homecooked. He’s had to endure bullying at school (boys in his class throwing peanuts at him) until the school was alerted to it and put a stop to it. He used to be very paranoid about nuts and coming into contact with them, but has calmed down as he’s grown older. I have become an allergy advocate as a result. My biggest achievement has been educating and training the staff of my child’s school in recognising an allergic reaction and what to do about it.”

allergy action plan • E nsure your child’s school is fully aware of his or her allergies.

• Provide the school with emergency contact information and clear procedures for handling medical issues.

• Explain the early warning signs of an allergic attack to your child’s teachers so they can be alert for early symptoms.

• Provide the school with multiple adrenaline auto-injectors to use in case of anaphylaxis and be sure to check the expiry date. Teachers should also be shown how to administer the medication regularly.

• Be sure that your child fully understands his or her allergies and knows what they can and cannot eat or be exposed to.

• Send special snacks and treats your child can eat so he or she doesn’t feel left out on special occasions.

• Get a medical bracelet for your child to wear.

For guidelines on how to treat children suffering from an allergic attack or how to use an adrenaline autoinjector, parents and teachers can visit allergysa.org or allergyexpert.co.za To connect with other parents of children with allergies, visit Facebook /AllergyEpicentre or allergyepicentre.wordpress.com

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

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ore and more cases are being reported worldwide of children dying or suffering multiple heart attacks at school following a major allergic attack. A recent survey by Pharma Dynamics, which involved 800 learners between the ages of 10 and 18 and teachers from independent, government and Model C schools across the country, found that none of the students nor the teachers knew what to do in case of a severe allergic attack, putting children’s lives at risk.

According to international studies the incidence of anaphylaxis (a serious allergic reaction that is rapid in onset and may even cause death) is on the increase. It’s as simple as a teacher offering a child a treat for good behaviour, without knowing about the child’s allergy, or children sharing their lunchboxes with their friends who may be allergic.

Dr Michael Levin, head of the division of paediatric allergy at the Red Cross Children’s Hospital, explains that the main causes of allergic attacks in children is foods, with peanuts being the biggest culprit. Other foods include milk, egg, wheat, soy, fish and shellfish. Certain medications can also cause reactions, such as antibiotics (penicillins and

upfront with paul

b

ILLUSTRATION: MARK VINCER

rrr, winter is upon us, which means cold, and if you live in Cape Town, also wet weather. Here are seven things you need to do, or not do, to winterproof your children and insulate them from the rigours of the down season...

Don’t let them skip breakfast Children miss breakfast because they are lazy, not because they aren’t hungry. Halfway through the morning their tummies will rumble and a body starved of nutrients, carbs and protein will pillage these from their vital organs, leaving them feeling weak, light-headed and unable to concentrate. Insist that they eat something.

Make sure they wear warm clothes You’ve probably spent a small fortune on hats, scarves, snoods, coats, gloves and boots. Don’t be fooled by their cries of “but I’m warm enough” when they are stretched out in their underwear on the underfloor heating. Lock them out in the garden for 10 minutes to simulate waiting at the school gate, and then see if they are still warm. (Tip: always name every item of a child’s clothing. They will forget stuff. Frequently.)

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winter-proof PAUL KERTON suggests a few things we can do to insulate our children from the chill.

Get everybody up half an hour earlier Everything takes longer in winter. There are more layers to consider, so coordinating clothes and getting dressed can be an obstacle course. Food and drinks need to be warmed up, and then there’s driving in the rain to slow things down even more... so get your family moving earlier.

Take vitamins and cod liver oil Administer whatever works for you to stem the tsunami of infections from the classroom. And if your child gets sick, leave them at home. Start a course of vitamin C in advance and boost their immune system so that when everyone else sneezes over them, they can fight the germs. A flu jab is also a good idea, if you believe they work.

Be careful of slippery surfaces We tend to be a bit blasé in South Africa because it doesn’t really get much below 10 degrees unless you are on the Lesotho border. But the winters are trending colder, so beware of even a slight hint of frost because a broken leg or arm is not fun.

And watch the roads, because a skid is no laughing matter either.

Break out the board games and the required spirit with which to play them. You will be spending a monumental amount of time inside, and you don’t want your little anti-social treasures locked in their bedrooms glued to a screen all day playing in private. Encourage them to play a “family” game and talk together.

Teenagers may sniff the air, but once they get into it, even they will have fun. Release the competitive instinct. Forget all that wussy “it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game” nonsense. (Tip: make sure Aunt Mavis doesn’t cheat again.)

Stock up on tasty treats and snacks to dip into throughout the day. It helps if these are reasonably healthy.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

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15

education

the meaning of

milestones

Are you concerned that your child is developmentally delayed? LISA LAZARUS explains how early developmental

y

assessments work for preschool children.

ou know the type: the parent who, with studied indifference, “lets slip” that her five year old is reading Harry Potter or that her son, just four, can swim the length of a 50-metre pool, whereas your child can’t even hop without falling on his face. And then you panic. It seems that not only schools but we ourselves are continually ranking children. How seriously should we be taking milestones during the preschool years?

When it comes to milestones, there are many “grey areas”, says Dr Kirsty Donald, a paediatric neurologist at Red Cross Children’s Hospital. She explains that a milestone refers to a range of ages during which a behaviour – motor, cognitive or social/emotional – should occur. Milestones are based on the assessment of large cohorts of children in developed countries. The cut-off age is the age at which 95% of children are expected to have achieved a specific competence.

Let’s say your child is racing through her milestones – could you have a genius on your hands? Donald explains that even though early language assessment is probably the best predictor of later cognitive outcomes, assessments at a young age are better at picking up developmental delays than predicting later academic success.

“Some gifted programmes in the United States,” says Donald, “conduct early developmental assessments when the child is three; however, a third to half of those children selected for giftedness only exhibit mediocre academic achievement later in life.”

For Jan Murray-Nobbs, principal of The Hill, a preprimary school in Cape Town, there is an educational benefit in assessing where a child is missing his milestones. “Gaps or unidentified lags in any of the developmental spheres can compromise a child’s learning experience and readiness for further learning,” she says.

However, both Donald and Murray-Nobbs stress that milestones need to be taken in context. Donald means that you need to look at all areas of a young child’s development and not focus purely on the missed milestone. “With young children there is a tendency to emphasise motor milestones, such as walking, but if you only pay attention to this

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

what milestones mean

milestone and not the entire development of the child, then a problem could be missed,” she says. In addition, you need to assess how far away the child is from reaching the milestone. The cut-off age for walking is 18 months; however, a child who is cruising at this age and meeting all his other developmental milestones is quite possibly fine.”

A paediatrician needs to evaluate whether the missed milestone is a problem in the bigger picture, and also whether the delay is due to an underlying physiological reason.

Even an allergy or an iron deficiency could keep a child awake at night, cause her to underperform or miss her milestones.

dealing with delayed milestones Nikki McMahon works as a freelance web developer in Gauteng and has three children, aged nine, five and three. Her youngest, Juno, has spina bifida and sacral agenesis, a rare congenital condition in which there is abnormal foetal development of the lower spine.

As a result, most of her physical milestones are delayed and there are also cognitive and speech delays, although these may not be due to the underlying condition. On the basis of assessments, Juno is about one year delayed cognitively, particularly her expressive speech.

“Some days she’ll have conversations that make us think she’s come so far, and then other days we’ll despair and wonder if those ‘wow days’ ever really happened,” says Nikki.

Jenny Perkel, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Cape Town, explains that because of the competitive nature of many schools and society, developmental delays are challenging for many parents. However, bear in mind that children are “astute and aware of people’s reactions” and any kind of embarrassment or disapproval is likely to be picked up by them. Perkel acknowledges that it’s difficult for parents to hide their true feelings and that they should rather “get in touch with how they feel through seeing a professional and making some kind of peace with the situation”.

Nikki says that making comparisons, particularly of children the same age as Juno, is problematic. “In order to move forward I have learnt not to do this, because it has a negative impact on my daughter and the rest of the family,” she says. “I make a conscious effort to treat Juno as an individual, growing and learning at her own pace – although I still fail at this regularly.” One of the most helpful things Nikki has done is to form friendships with other moms who are going through similar experiences.

Clearly, assessing milestones in young children is important, primarily to pick up delays and their causes. Next time a parent sidles up to you to brag about her child’s advanced development, know that very little is predictable in the long course of a lifetime.

developmental traits that should concern you Talk to your doctor if your child does the following at three years old: • has unclear speech or drooling; • has difficulty working simple toys, for example turning handles or simple peg boards; • doesn’t use sentences or understand simple instructions; • no pretending or make-believe play; • has no interest in playing with other children or toys; • doesn’t make eye contact and • has lost skills once possessed.

• doesn’t use “me” and “you” correctly; • is unclear in speech and • has lost skills once possessed.

At five years old: • no wide range of emotions; • exhibits extreme behaviour such as being unusually fearful, aggressive, shy or sad; • c an’t focus on an activity for more than five minutes and is very easily distracted; • responds to people superficially or

At four years old: • unable to jump in place; • has difficulty scribbling; • shows lack of interest in interactive games or make-believe; • ignores other children and shows no response to people outside the family; • shows resistance when it comes to dressing, sleeping and using the toilet; • unable to retell a favourite story; • u nable to follow a command of three parts; • can’t understand the terms “same” and “different”.

not at all; • can’t differentiate the real from the made-up; • doesn’t engage in a variety of games and activities; • unable to give first and last names; • plurals and past tense are not used correctly; • d oesn’t

talk

about

everyday

activities and experiences; • doesn’t draw pictures; • unable to brush teeth, wash and dry hands, or get undressed without help and • has lost skills once possessed.

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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June 2014

17

family life

balancing me-time for your children. By HELENA KINGWILL

ost of us don’t regularly allow time to tune in to ourselves and our families. We’re often too caught up with tedious tasks, such as doing the dishes or paying the rent. But making time for ourselves and our children should be prioritised over the pressures we create for ourselves. It’s as important as our health. We shouldn’t wait for the wheels to come off. In her book Mother-Daughter Wisdom, Christiane Northrup puts it well: “When the fuel required for mothering and nurturing others is not replenished regularly, breakdowns and failures in the nurturing system manifest as depression, anxiety and even violence that affect both mothers and children.”

If the wheels come off you are no good to anyone, so taking time to create a calm and peaceful inner and outer space is an excellent investment. “Your children are the direct beneficiaries of you taking time for yourself and looking after your personal space,” says Cape Town parenting counsellor Karen Quail. She explains that we will be in a better space mentally and therefore more capable of engaging properly with our children. In order to find this time, it’s essential to clear

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space to create a calmer and more ordered life, advises Quail. This requires a very conscious discernment about our daily choices.

routines and rituals Clearing space for quality time requires decluttering the home as well as the daily schedule. “It’s about realising that when you say ‘yes’ to something – such as a commitment to be on another committee, a social engagement or another extramural activity for your child – you are automatically saying ‘no’ to family time or time for yourself,” says Quail.

When we are overwhelmed by the busyness of our lives, it helps to create chunks of time for each activity, advises Josie Brincat (50), a single mom from Durban.

“It’s about being aware of what is needed for all and then creating a routine that suits you,” says Josie, who recalls that when her son was a baby, routine quality time with him was her priority. “I could find a way to make space for me-time through the support of my friends, however irregular that was, and I set aside quality time with my son as a scheduled event.”

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PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterstock.com

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Give yourself the gift of time so that you can be more present

Quail recommends ritual and rhythm in our weekly routines as a way to create consistency and peace in the home. This includes a ritual time to connect with your partner, and a regular ritual activity with your children – perhaps at bedtime to read or to talk about the day.

An excellent bedtime ritual is the rose and thorn discussion. Ask your child what their “rose” was that day – what went well. And then what their “thorn” was – what didn’t work out. It’s an effective way of releasing unresolved issues as well as counting our blessings.

“These exercises act as a pressure valve for releasing stress from the day,” Quail points out. “If a ritual is regular, children feel safe because they know they can count on it.”

using me-time wisely Taking time for yourself gets easier as your children grow up, and finding that time depends in part on having a trustworthy support network.

“Everyone has different needs,” says Quail. “It’s important to tune in to what the right thing is for you.

Author and philosopher Joseph Campbell encouraged people to follow their bliss, which simply means follow your heart or your passion and find your life’s purpose. ‘Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls,’ he wrote. If you constructively use me-time to develop your passion, your self-esteem and general happiness will improve, as will your ability to love.”

But what do you do when you finally get that moment to yourself? I posed the question to a few parents.

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“If you give more to yourself, you have more to give to others,” says Sally de Jager (42), a Cape Town mother of two. “I don’t feel guilty about taking time for myself, because if I go for a run on the beach, I’m in a much better mood afterwards, and that affects my children too.”

Thandi O’Hagen (42) of Joburg shares custody of her son with her ex-husband. “I have one week all to myself, and the next I spend as much time with Kei as possible. But every Tuesday he goes to his granny and I go to a dance class. My exercise time is my best me-time,” she says.

James Cloete (42), a father of two from Cape Town, feels the same way about his me-time: “My wife allows me to go for a surf because she knows I am a much nicer person to be with afterwards.”

There is a danger, however, of the balance swinging out of kilter when me-time becomes an escapist habit.

Chantal van Straten* (36), a Port Elizabeth mother of a three year old, was weary because her husband had gone surfing for a fourth day in a row while on holiday. “I wanted us to do some fun things together as a family,” she says.

Taking time out should not burden the other partner nor compromise the children. It’s about quality versus quantity.

The ability to create decent, bite-sized chunks of time for yourself and focused time for your family requires intention, boundaries and organisation. The size of the chunks increases as our children grow up and we graduate to new levels of freedom. We have to know when to let go and when to be present. * Name changed

you need me-time when…

• y ou are feeling ungrounded, and keep forgetting and losing things; • you are staying up late to do creative things for yourself and not sleeping properly at night; • you are feeling depressed and are easily distracted; • you are running ragged – your hair is dishevelled, your clothes are worn out and you can’t remember the last time you really had fun.

recommended reading • T ears and Tantrums by Aletha Solter (Published by Aware Parenting Books, awareparenting.com) • S implicity Parenting by Kim John Payne (Published by Simplicity Parenting, simplicityparenting.com) • Mother-Daughter Wisdom – Creating a Legacy of Physical and Emotional Health by Dr Christiane Northrup (Published by Piatkus)

June 2014

19

parenting

the boomerang child Young adults who leave home only to move back in again are not necessarily aimless or failing at life. GARY KOEN

a

helps us understand the likely scenario.

“boomerang child” can be described as a young adult who appears incapable of being able to leave home or who moves out and then suddenly returns home and moves back in again. But I find the term somewhat incongruous. A boomerang is supposed to return to the thrower. Also, a boomerang in full flight is a beautiful sight – it is dynamic and graceful, yet filled with a primitive raw power, a reminder of the weapon it once was. When people talk about a “boomerang child”, the connotations are often negative. They are implying inertia, helplessness, an absence of confidence or direction, and an entitled sense of needing to be looked after.

Parents need to distinguish, however, between the normal ebb and flow of a young person’s passage from dependency towards independence, and a young adult who has literally ground to a halt in their life. The process of separating from our parents as young adults doesn’t happen overnight. The final road from bustling, busy adolescent towards fully fledged self-sufficiency is a developmental stage of its own, which can last as long as 10 years – more than twice as long as high school. Anyone who is “thrown” into the world like a boomerang the moment they matriculate will invariably find themselves, one way or another, spending the rest of their lives looking for a home to come back to.

The final road from bustling, busy adolescent towards fully fledged self-sufficiency is a developmental stage of its own, which can last as long as 10 years.

Young people are still in the adolescent stage of life, even in their late teenage years. The whole of adolescence is fundamentally about a child’s movement from a state of relative dependency towards a state of independence; from being relatively little to becoming relatively big. By the time they matriculate they are closer to being little than big. Young adults still need parental guidance, especially when faced with complex life decisions that can carry long-term implications. Going to university, finding a job, getting married and starting a family is not as simple as it sounds, although those of us who want this for our lives naturally want to get it right.

It’s not unusual at all for teenagers to not know what they want to do when they leave school. There is a hidden danger in the expectation that somehow they should know what they want to do, and that not knowing means they are going to make a mess of their lives.

Parents need to realise that not knowing is not the problem. It’s when they either doubt or lack the ability to find out what they want to do that problems start.

Often at this stage many teenagers will fall into the trap of saying the right thing simply in order to keep their parents happy or to get them off their backs. The tendency to be seen to be behaving in a sensible and acceptable way often hides a deep-rooted uncertainty.

They end up making decisions and choices that they don’t really feel comfortable with, set standards for themselves that are impossible to meet and end up falling into a failure trap that can last for years.

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on the cusp

The main task of parents at this stage is to accept their child’s anxiety of “not knowing” and use it to motivate them to start finding out what they want to do. In the long run, going through the slog and discomfort of not knowing is far preferable to simply paying lip service and making half-hearted choices.

knowing who we are If we are to avoid the aimlessness that can beset many a young adult’s life, close attention needs to be paid to what takes place during adolescence. It’s an incredibly rich developmental stage, central to which is the relationship being forged between parent and child, and the relationship they are going to have with themselves. Adolescence is the time when they start to get to know who they really are.

By the time they have reached the age of 18 or 19, we can reasonably expect young people to have some idea of their likes and dislikes – the clothes they like to wear, the food they enjoy, their choice of friends and the company they keep. Basically, they need to know what it is they enjoy doing. This is different from knowing what it is they are good at. The ideal is to be good at something and to enjoy doing it.

Young adults of this age should also have acquired some insight into their decisionmaking process: how they make life choices, take responsibility for their actions and tackle difficult tasks. They should now be able to discriminate between a good effort and a poor effort, and have developed some appreciation of quality.

They should also have developed an appreciation for the importance of being able to think for themselves and to realise that what they do is a reflection of who they are.

These are the issues that parents need to begin talking to their children about long before they become young adults. As I have pointed out, it’s not simply a given that they will know what they want to do with their lives by the time they leave school. However, they should be equipped with the tools to find out.

It’s really okay to have a “boomerang child”, provided the trajectory of their life has as its ultimate goal a richer understanding of themselves. What we need to be concerned about is the boomerang that lies uselessly on the ground.

about the author Gary Koen is a clinical psychologist in private practice with over 20 years’ experience, working mainly with adults and adolescents. He also does presentations at schools on a range of teenage-related topics. These include all the general aspects of normal adolescent development. He developed, and successfully runs a course, “An introduction to adolescence”, aimed at parents. He is also working on a book that deals with the challenges facing parents and teenagers and, as a father of three, he is heavily invested in everything he says. For more information, visit garykoen.co.za

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21

resource

a club for everyone Not sure how to keep the children busy over the long school break? Simone Jeffery

academic

Sci-Enza This science museum hosts

Science workshops

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a “science-is-fun” holiday programme in English, with several Afrikaans facilitators on-site. The themes vary each holiday.

Parents don’t need to supervise, but they are welcome to visit with their children all year round. Children should take a packed lunch and snacks. Suitable for children 7–12 years old.

Date: 8–11 July, 7–10 October, December dates to be confirmed. Holiday programmes take place in government school holidays.

Time: 8:30am–1pm, Monday–Friday.

Venue: Sci-Enza, Technical Services Building, main entrance to the University

of Pretoria, cnr Prospect St and Festival St, Lynwood. Cost: approximately R60 per child for the holiday programme, R10–R20 per person. Contact: 012 420 3767 or visit web.up.ac.za

animal interaction

Capriole Stables They teach natural horsemanship and foster a love for riding.

Children learn to groom, saddle up and lead the ponies. They also go on outrides, have riding lessons and play games. They use safety stirrups and heeled shoes aren’t a necessity, but children still need to wear closed shoes. Riding hats are provided.

They provide juice and snacks for children

who attend a half day, lunch for those attending a full day, and all meals for those choosing to sleep over. Half-day camps are suitable for children 4 years and older, while full-day camps with an optional sleepover are for children 10 years and older. They are able to cater for children with special needs.

Date: half day 30 June–4 July; full day 8–11 July; combined full and half day 6–10 October; half day 8–12 December; and full day 17–20 December. Time: half day 9am–1pm, full day 9am–5pm, during the government and independent school holidays. Venue: Capriole Stables, 46 Everfair Ave, Randjesfontein. Cost: half

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

compiled a list of holiday activities for all ages, talents and interests.

day R150 per morning, R500–R600 per week, full day R220 per day, sleepover R1 500 per week. Contact: 082 573 4797, equineiq@mweb.co.za or visit capriolestables.com

Esperanza pony camp A comprehensive pony camp that gets children to groom, clean and feed ponies. They will also get to go on outrides, play various games, hike, braai marshmallows, tackle an obstacle course and lots more. In the summer months they bathe the horses. Suitable for children 5 years and older. Children 7 years and older are able to sleep over.

Date: 30 June–4 July; dates for the October and December camps to be confirmed. Time: arrive at camp between 6:30am–9am, collect between 4:30pm–

5:30pm, during the government school holidays. Venue: Esperanza Riding School, plot 588 Mooiplaats, Pretoria East. Cost: R250 per day, includes lunch; sleepover: R350 per day, includes three meals. Contact: 076 184 5660 or visit esperanzaholidaycamp.wix.com/ holiday-camps

Lory Park Animal and Owl Sanctuary Children learn about animals while they explore the zoo and help out as a ranger for the day. They work with their hands and learn about conservation. They will help with the cleaning and preparing of food and enrichment for the animals, as well as conservation talks and projects. Children need to wear old, comfortable clothes, and closed shoes. They provide a light lunch of a hot dog, chips and a cold drink. Children should take pocket money if they want to buy snacks from the tuck shop. Suitable for children 6–16 years old.

Time: 8am–4pm, Tuesday–Thursday during all school holidays. Venue: Lory Park, 180/1 Kruger Rd, President Park, Midrand. Cost: R160 per child. Contact: 011 315 7307, education@lorypark.co.za or visit lorypark.co.za

Zoo activities and animal interaction

Date: day camp 1–4 July, 12–15 August; sleepover camp 1–3 October; overnight camp 4–5 and 11–12 December.

Time: 7:30am–5pm, during government and independent school holidays.

Venue: 150 Tulip Rd, Mnandi Agricultural Holdings, Centurion. Cost: day camp R300, overnight camp R700, sleepover camp (more than one night) R1 100. Contact: 083 602 2713, info@ centurionhorseriding.co.za or visit centurionhorseriding.co.za

Mazz Vaulting and Horse Riding Club

Horse riding and pony camps

magazine pretoria

Children must wear long pants and hard heeled shoes. If you don’t have a riding hat you can hire one from them. Suitable for children 5 years and older.

National Zoological Gardens Children learn about birds, reptiles, mammals and monkeys during the interactive courses that take place throughout the holidays.

Courses are offered in Afrikaans and English. Children should wear comfortable clothes and shoes as they will be doing a lot of walking. They should also take a packed lunch and a drink. The one-day courses are suitable for children from 6–12 years old. Teenagers 13–18 years old can take part in the five-day junior nature conservator course.

Time: 8am–4pm, selected days during government and independent school holiday. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St, Pretoria. Cost: one-day courses R100 per learner, per course; junior nature conservator R250.

Contact: 012 339 2773, karabo@nzg.ac.za or visit nzg.ac.za

June 2014

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resource during the term, with a cooked lunch and supervised homework time. They provide breakfast, lunch and two snacks. Suitable for children 6 years and older.

Date: 26 June–14 July; other dates to be confirmed. Time: 7:20am–5:30pm, Monday–Friday during the independent school holidays. Venue: The Buzz Zone Holiday Centre, 916 Saint Bernard Dr, Garsfontein. Cost: R100 half day; R120 full day; R500 for the week.

Contact: 012 993 0277, 071 569 5611, kerrytierney@thebuzzzone.co.za or visit thebuzzzone.co.za

holistic health

Cooking holiday programmes

cooking

Little Cooks Club Educational and hands-on cooking programmes that introduce children to basic cooking techniques and new food, and teach them about kitchen hygiene and nutrition.

Suitable for children 2–15 years old.

Date and time: varies. Venues: Centurion, Pretoria East and Pretoria North East.

Cost: varies. Contact: Centurion: 082 783 7737, michelleg@littlecooksclub.co.za; Pretoria East: 082 896 1758, bridgetk@ littlecooksclub.co.za; Pretoria North East: 082 879 1002, monicab@littlecooksclub. co.za or visit littlecooksclub.co.za

Tots n Pots Children learn to cook and bake various healthy recipes and sweet foods, such as sticky toffee pudding. They supply everything that will be needed during the class, including aprons. Suitable for children 2–10 years old.

Date: winter wonderland: 30 June– 4 July, summer theme: December dates to be confirmed. Time: 10am–11:30am, Monday–Friday during the government school holidays. Venue: Claudius, Pretoria West. Cost: R100 per class. Contact: 082 903 3367, shaaista@totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com

multiple activities Kinderland

holiday

programme

Children are kept active and stimulated during the holidays with a full programme of activities that includes daily craft projects and free play. In winter there is a jumping castle, while in summer there is a slip n slide. Children should wear old clothes as they do art activities and messy play. In summer, children should take a swimming costume and towel. They provide lunch and snacks. Suitable for children 3–10 years old.

Time: 7am–5pm, Monday–Friday during the government and independent school holidays. Venue: Kinderland Party Venue, 214B Meerlust St, Willow Glen.

Cost: R150 per day. Contact: 082 680 1368, annalizelouw@hotmail.com or visit kinderlandpv.co.za

The Chilled Out Child Children’s yoga and art workshops inspire creativity with stories, art and movement. Suitable for children 8–12 years old.

Date: 3 and 10 July; future dates to be confirmed. Time: 2pm–4pm. Venue: Yoga Harmony, Cape Connection, 59 Garsfontein Rd, Menlyn. Cost: R180 per child, includes refreshments, art materials and yoga mats. Contact: 072 645 2984, thechilledoutchild@gmail.com or visit the-chilled-out-child.com

nature

Cashane Junior Rangers survival camp Children who love the outdoors and don’t mind roughing it can learn how to make fire using only a flint, find food and water, build shelters, make bows and arrows, make string from plants, learn to fish and more. There are three different levels, each presenting a new set of survival challenges. Children should take a tent, knife, flint, sleeping bag, water bottle and cutlery (detailed list available on request).

Parents don’t need to supervise, but they are welcome to join. They provide meals for the duration of the camp. Suitable for children 6–18 years old.

Date: level 1: 27–29 June, 4–6 and 18–20 July, 5–7 September, 3–5 October; level 2: 8–10 August. Time: 4pm Friday–3pm Sunday. Venue: Kareekloof Farm, Lanseria.

Cost: level 1 R750 per person, level 2 and 3 R850 per person. Contact: 076 429 6739, cashanerangers@gmail.com or visit key2comms.wix.com/cashane-rangers

Sundowner Adventures They offer a 2,5 hour introductory fly-fishing clinic, which covers all the basics for one to learn the fine art of fly-fishing. Parents are encouraged to stay with their children and join in the clinic. Fly-fishing helps with coordination skills and is an excellent way

The Buzz Zone holiday programme Offers a variety of structured art and craft activities on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and free play on Tuesday and Thursday.

They also offer an aftercare programme

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June 2014

Fly-fishing with Sundowner Adventures

magazine pretoria

Nature camps at Happy Acres

for children with special needs to develop mentally in a tranquil environment. Suitable for children 6 years and older.

Time: 9am–11:30am, Tuesday–Sunday.

Venue: Wednesday, Friday and Sunday: Magalies Barbus Haven, Magaliesburg; Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday: Kloofzicht Lodge, Kromdraai Rd, R374, Muldersdrift. Cost: adults R350, children R250, excluding equipment hire.

Contact: 011 315 4503, 083 414 0391, sundowncorporate@gmail.com or visit sundowneradventures.co.za

performance

Drama Dynamics Film and stage acting workshops that get children involved in comic skits, characterisation, miming, improvisation games, and more. Children should wear comfortable clothes (no dresses or skirts), and take one prop and a hat. They don’t provide a meal so children should take a packed lunch and a drink.

Suitable for children 8–18 years old.

Date: tentatively 1–18 July, 6–10 October and 11 and 12 December. Time: 9am–3pm during selected days in the government school holidays. Venue: Barnyard Theatres in Pretoria, Boksburg and Rivonia (varies with each holiday). Cost: R430 for the two days. Contact: 083 609 9679, dramadynamics@gmail.com or visit dramadynamics.co.za

sleepovers

FlipFlop Gymnastics Holiday Camp A three-day camp that keeps children away from the television and computer and gets them to take part in treasure hunts and nature walks, baking activities, campfire tales and more. Space is limited.

They provide all your meals as well as snacks throughout the day. For children 3–13 years old.

Date: 1–4 July, 7–10 October, 11–14 December. Time: arrive and depart at approximately 3pm. Venue: Hartbeespoort Holiday Resort, Hartbeespoort Dam. Cost: R1 900, includes meals, accommodation and activities. Contact: 072 238 7342, tanya@flipflopgym.co.za or visit flipflopgym.co.za

Happy Acres holiday camp A nature camp for adventurous boys and girls.

The children are split up into groups of magazine pretoria

10 to 12 with a dedicated counsellor to look after them throughout their stay. The counsellors provide stimulating activities that cater to the various age groups and ability levels. Activities include art, crafts, walks, games, sports, hobbies, swimming, cook-outs, crab catching, playing with the guinea pigs or rabbits, and more. Campers should take a sleeping bag and pillow, a torch, two towels, a swimming costume, and pocket money for tuck. Suitable for children 7–14 years old.

Date: 28 June–5 July, 5–12 July, 6–13 and 13–20 December. Time: tbc. Venue: Magaliesburg. Children can take the camp’s bus that departs from the Joburg Zoo. Cost: R1 260, transport R260, and tuck shop money. Contact: 083 449 5123, hacres@iafrica.com or visit happyacres.co.za

Kidscape adventure camps A camp that takes place over four nights and five days. There are group leaders and adults who look after the children at all times.

There are three mealtimes a day and always in the company of the Kidscape staff. They cater to vegetarians and provide halaal meals by prior arrangement. Suitable for children 7–14 years old.

Date: camps take place during the government school holidays. Dates to be confirmed: in the June/July holidays, and in December. Venue: Camp Nelu, Hekpoort. Children can take the camp bus from Delta Environmental Centre, Victory Park. There will be a briefing for the parents before the bus departs. Cost: R1 500 including transport. Contact: 083 457 7848, graeme@kidscapeadventures. com or visit kidscapeadventures.com

sports and fitness

Club-V Kids Club The programme includes art and crafts, a paint-jamming session, basketball, bean bag or Hula Hoop challenges, soccer shoot-outs and a yoga-inspired movement class. For 3–13 year olds. Info on meals and special needs children still to be confirmed.

Date: for the June/July holidays to be confirmed Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Virgin Active Health Clubs countrywide.

Cost: free for Club-V members. Contact: 0860 200 911 or your local Virgin Active Health Club.

June 2014

25

calendar

what’s on in june

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see.

Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY

8

sun

special events

27

FUN for children

27

only for parents

28

bump, baby & tot in tow

28

how to help

29

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

The Good, the Bad and a Horse This 4-D comic adventure features a brave young sheriff in pursuit of the meanest bank robber who evades capture on a train.

Fiddler in the Loop Luca Ciarla sings, whistles and plays his fiddle and other instruments to create layers of sound.

Snickerdoodle Petting Farm Children can get acquainted with their cute mix of miniature ponies, cattle, chickens, pigs and more.

Centurion Hospice Charity Shop Donate your unwanted, quality goods to the charity shop.

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June 2014

magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPHS: shutterstock.com

Lollos 6 Lallaland Cedar Junction plays host to the ever-popular characters, Lollos and Lettie.

SPECIAL EVENTS 1 sunday Ice cream for breakfast Funds go towards the running of the SOFFT Family Wellness Centre, a registered NPO. Booking essential. Time: 9am. Venue: section 92 Mooiplaats, Boschkop. Cost: R20 entry, R5 per scoop. Contact: liza@sofftsa.org or visit sofftsa.org Train trip to Cullinan and back Take a two-and-a-half to three-hour train trip from the Pretoria CBD to Cullinan. Also 15 and 29 June. Time: 8am–5:30pm.

Venue: Hermanstad Railway Station, 152 Miechaelson St, Daspoort. Cost: adults R200, pensioners R175, children 13–18 years old R150, children 7–12 years old R125, children 2–6 years old R100. Contact: 012 767 7913, sales@friendsoftherail.com or visit friendsoftherail.com

5 thursday ASG Night Series A mountain bike race and trail run that passes through rosemary fields past dams, across streams and through indigenous vegetation. Children under 10 must be accompanied by an adult. Space is limited. Time: registration 4pm, races start 6pm. Venue: Rosemary Hill, 257 Mooiplaats, N4 East Exit 18. Cost: varies. Contact: 076 621 1807 or visit asgevents.co.za

Hartebeesthoek Radio Astronomy Take a tour of this working observatory and learn more about radio astronomy.

Booking essential. Time: 4pm–8pm. Venue: HartRAO, R400, Hartbeesthoek. Cost: adults R45, students and pensioners R35, preschool children free, family of four R120. Contact: 012 301 3100 or visit hartrao.ac.za

8 sunday Lollos 6 Lallaland Lollos and Lettie undertake a journey through space to a dream world full of surprises and treats. Tickets are limited. For children 2–10 years old.

Time: gates open 8am, concert starts 11am.

Venue: Cedar Junction, Plot 404 Graham Rd, Zwavelpoort. Cost: R85. Contact: 012 811 1183 or visit cedarjunction.co.za Old Mutual Music in the Gardens Take a picnic for an afternoon with Mi Casa and Donald. Time: gates open 11am, concert starts 1pm, Kidz Zone 1:30pm–4:30pm.

Venue: Pretoria National Botanical Garden.

Cost: R100–R120. Book through Plankton. mobi: 078 665 8241 or visit plankton.mobi

14 saturday World Blood Donor Day The focus for this year’s campaign is “safe blood for saving mothers”. For more info: 0800 119 031 or visit sanbs.org.za

6 friday Tattoo-a-thon Tattoo studios around the country are raising money for Choc – Childhood Cancer Foundation South Africa.

All tattoos are a set size, based on an hour’s work, and participants can book their slot directly with an artist of their choice. Venue: studios across Gauteng. Cost: from R700.

Contact: 076 483 3580, tattooathon@ gmail.com or visit tattooathon.co.za

7 saturday Cambridge Food Festival Indulge in comforting gourmet food. Time: 9am–5pm, food demo: tea and macaroon pairing 11am, Fleur du Cap wine and food pairing: 12:30pm. Venue: Mountain Cambridge School, portion 2 of plot 21, Beethoven St, Melodie, Hartbeespoort. Cost: adults R50, children R25. Contact: 082 496 0388 or visit Facebook /cambridgefoodfestival Cooper’s Cave picnic and tour Join a guided tour through a living museum where fossils remain embedded in ancient rock.

Prams aren’t recommended unless they are suitable for outdoor/uneven terrain. Booking essential. Time: 9am. Venue: meet at the Sterkfontein Caves, Cradle of Humankind.

Cost: adults R375, children 4–14 years old R150 (includes a light lunch). Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za Open day at Curro Thatchfield Find out more about this independent school during a guided tour and presentation. Children can join. For children from Grade R–7.

31 May: Grade 8–9. Time: 8:30am–12pm.

Venue: Curro Thatchfield, 3512 Barbet St, cnr Brakfontein Rd and Barbet St, Thatchfield Hills, The Reeds, Centurion. Cost: free.

Contact: 012 652 2906, info.thatchfield@ curroholdings.co.za or visit curro.co.za magazine pretoria

14 June – Donate blood and save a life

15 sunday CSME Club running day Pack a picnic and watch the miniature trains. Time: 9:30am–3:45pm. Venue: Centurion Society of Model Engineers, Meerpark Station, Kwikkie Crescent, Centurion. Cost: R5 entry, R8 train ride, children under 2 years old free. Contact: 012 643 0750 or visit centuriontrains.com Father’s Day fishing competition Spend the day fishing and canoeing. Time: fishing competition 6am–3pm, family fun

20 June–20 July – Days of the Dinosaur

day 11am–3pm. Venue: Stornoway Lodge and the Fat Olive Restaurant, Lanseria. Cost: fishing competition: R150 per fisherman, R100 per family member, picnics R100 per person. Contact: 082 459 1728, paula@ stornoway.co.za or visit stornoway.co.za

21 saturday Zoo fun run Enjoy a 5km run or walk at the zoo. Time: 6am. Venue: National Zoological Gardens. Cost: R25–R40.

Contact: 012 328 3265 ext. 168 or visit friendsofthezoo.co.za

28 saturday DStv Kids’ Xtravaganza Children can meet DStv characters, Mr Maker and Ben 10, and take part in activities and games.

Ben 10: 28 June–1 July, Mr Maker: 2–6 July. For children 4–6 years old. Time: tbc.

Venue: Vodaworld, Midrand. Cost: tbc.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Introduction to astronomy Join the resident astronomer for an evening of stargazing. Booking essential. Time: 5:30pm. Venue: Tumulus Building, Maropeng, Cradle of Humankind. Cost: adults R350, children R165. Contact: 014 577 9000 or visit maropeng.co.za Rock 4 Rhinos A benefit concert with The Straits, key members of Dire Straits, and local artists. It is in aid of Care for Wild, a rehabilitation centre for baby rhinos and other wildlife that have been orphaned or injured. Time: 2pm. Venue: SuperSport Park.

Cost: R380–R650. Book through Webtickets: 0861 225 598 or visit rock4rhinos.org

26 thu

KragDag This exhibition emphasises sustainability, effective energy and water use, security and food production. There is live music, a beer garden, food stalls, a flea market, and rides and entertainment. Seminar: 26 June; expo: 27 and 28 June. Time: seminar: 8am–4pm; expo: 9am–5pm. Venue: Diamantvallei, Rhenosterfontein, Rayton. Cost: seminar: R200 (includes meals); expo: free if you register online, adults R35, children under 18 free. Contact: 087 231 1644, info@kragdag.co.za or visit kragdag.com

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Days of the Dinosaur Walk among moving, roaring, life-size dinosaurs. This exhibition features more than 45 dinosaurs and two skeletons, a 3-D cinema, excavation zone, Dino Ride and large interactive area for children. 20 June–20 July. Time: 9am–8pm Monday–Thursday; 9am–9pm Friday– Sunday. Venue: Sandton Convention Centre.

Cost: adults R140, children 1–18 years old R95, children under 1 free, family of four R395. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit daysofthedinosaur.co.za Portraits with presence This large exhibition features some powerful portraits in various mediums. Ends 13 July. Time: 10am–5pm Tuesday–Sunday. Venue: North Gallery at the Pretoria Art Museum, cnr Francis Baard Rd and Wessels St, Arcadia.

Cost: adults R20, pensioners and students R10, children R5. Contact: 012 344 1807 or visit pretoriaartmuseum.co.za

classes, talks and workshops Chocolate holiday programme Children decorate a scroll with mini soccer balls and write a personal Father’s Day message. They also create Rice Krispies cakes and decorate a mini pizza with chocolate. Booking essential. For children 8–13 years old. 13, 20, 21 and 28 June.

Time: 2pm–4:30pm Friday, 9:30am–12pm Saturday. Venue: Snyman Sjokolateur, Waterkloof Ridge. Cost: R120 per child (bring your own drinks and salty treats). Contact: 012 347 8497 or visit snymanchocolates.com Sewing lessons Younger children are given a bag to embroider to familiarise themselves with needle and thread.

Adults and older children can tackle a bigger project and learn how to take measurements, understand a commercial pattern and create their own item. Booking essential. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday.

Venue: 742 27th Ave, Villieria. Cost: R50 per hour. Contact: 072 720 5307

family outings Keedo’s design your own T-shirt competition Children can submit their own T-shirt design and there are drawing and colouring-in spaces at selected stores.

For children 2–9 years old. 1 June–31 July.

Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: Woodlands Boulevard. Cost: free. Contact Caroline: 021 511 2929 or visit keedo.co.za June 2014

27

calendar Little Kickers trial class Classes introduce boys and girls to soccer through fun games and activities. Booking essential.

For children 18 months–8 years old. Time: 9am–11am, every Saturday. Venues: Club Sport Maritimo, cnr Richard St and Park St, Hatfield; or Sport Park, cnr Kruger Rd and Sport Rd, Lyttleton, Centurion. Cost: free. Contact: 072 222 4147 or centurion. hatfield@littlekickers.co.za

only for parents

20–22 June – Paquita and Other Works

Tour of Van Gaalen Cheese Farm Tours combine a demonstration of the cheesemaking process with a special Dutch cheese tasting. The tour includes cheese tasting, a cup of coffee or juice, and a slice of Dutch apple cake. Time: 10am, every Wednesday and Saturday. Venue: Van Gaalen Cheese Farm, Hartbeespoort. Cost: adults R85, children under 12 years old R55. Contact: 012 207 1289 or visit vangaalen.co.za Weekend fun at Atterbury Join the Atterbury Fairies for face painting, art and crafts, magic shows and more.

Time: 10am–2pm, every Saturday.

Venue: Atterbury Value Mart, cnr Selikats Causeway and Atterbury Rd, Faerie Glen.

Cost: free. Contact: 012 991 4744 or visit atterburyvaluemart.co.za

finding nature and outdoor play Bester Birds and Animals Zoo Park Touch and feed the farmyard animals and get acquainted with the exotic birds and animals. Time: 9am–5pm Tuesday– Sunday. Venue: 44 Simon Vermooten Rd, Willowglen. Cost: adults R40, pensioners and children R35. Contact: 012 807 2574 or visit besterbirdsanimals.co.za

markets Brooklyn Square Antique Fair At this monthly fair you’ll find silver, art, glass and jewellery. Chat to the dealers about the history of the pieces you are interested in. 7 June. Time: 9am–3pm.

Venue: Brooklyn Square, cnr Middle St and Veale St, Brooklyn. Cost: free entry.

Contact: 011 482 4259 or visit ssaf.co.za Fair on the Square Market This monthly market features stalls selling art and crafts, food and more. 29 June. Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: Irene Village Mall, cnr Nellmapius Dr and Van Ryneveld Ave, Irene. Cost: free. Contact: 012 662 4446 or visit irenevillagemall.co.za Mediterranean Market For a variety of stalls offering fresh produce, pies, pastries and gifts. 14 and 28 June. Time: 9am–2pm.

Venue: The Grove Mall, cnr Lynnwood Ave and Simon Vermooten Rd, Pretoria East. Cost: free. Contact: 012 807 0963, marketing@thegrovemall.co.za or visit thegrovemall.co.za

on stage and screen Born to be Wild As tribute to the wildest rock stars and anthems. 3 June–20 July.

Time: 8pm Tuesday–Saturday, 2pm Sunday.

Venue: Barnyard Theatre Parkview. Cost: R100–R160. Contact: 012 368 1555 or visit barnyardtheatre.co.za

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June 2014

Paquita and Other Works The Youth Dance Company of Tshwane presents Paquita, a classical ballet with a splash of Spanish. Tickets are available at Ballet Barre in Groenkloof Shopping Centre. 20–22 June.

Time: 7:30pm Thursday and Saturday, 5pm Friday, 3pm Saturday. Venue: Unisa Little Theatre, 287 Nana Sita St, Pretoria. Cost: R80–R120. Contact: 012 346 4311, 082 783 7378 or visit ydct.co.za Sonja Herholdt and Tjokker Take your little ones to the theatre to sing and dance to their favourite songs. 28 June. Time: 11am. Venue: Centurion Theatre, 123 Amkor Rd, Lyttelton Manor, Centurion.

Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or the Centurion Theatre: 012 664 7859 or visit centurionteater.co.za The Emperor’s New Clothes A quirky and fun story about an emperor who will do anything for the latest fashion. 27 June– 5 July. Time: 10am, 3pm and 6:30pm.

Venue: Irene Village Theatre, 1 Pioneer Rd, Irene, Centurion. Cost: chair R85, cushion R65. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or the theatre: 084 804 0490, 082 423 0603, tshwaneyouththeatre@gmail. com or visit pytheatre.co.za The Good, the Bad and a Horse This 4-D comic adventure features a brave young sheriff in pursuit of a bank robber. Audience members feel like they are part of the movie with moving seats, large fans above the screen, and little spurts of air tickling their neck and ankles. Time: 9:30am, 11:30am, 1:30pm and 3:30pm. Venue: 4-D Theatre, Gold Reef City Theme Park. Cost: included in the theme park’s entrance fee: adults R165, pensioners R110, children R100, children under 3 free, family ticket (two adults and two children under 16) R515. Contact: 011 248 6800 or visit goldreefcity.co.za

sport and physical activities Calm, clarity and connection A parentand-child yoga workshop that involves having fun while learning yoga postures.

Booking essential. For children 3 years and older. 14 June. Time: 2pm. Venue: Yoga Harmony, Cape Connection, 59 Garsfontein Rd, Menlyn, Pretoria. Cost: one adult and one child R250, one adult and two children R300. Contact: 072 645 2984 or visit the-chilled-out-child.com Children’s yoga class Yoga classes focus on breathing, exercising and relaxation.

Parents can join. Time: 2pm–2:45pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Go With the Flow, 422 Trevor Gething St, Faerie Glen, Pretoria. Cost: R200 per month per child, R300 if mom joins. Contact: 082 602 7689 or visit gowiththeflow.co.za

classes, talks and workshops Adult yoga classes Time: 8am–9am Monday, Wednesday and Friday; 6pm–7pm Monday; 5:30pm–6:30pm Wednesday.

Venue: Go With the Flow, 422 Trevor Gething St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R250 per month (one class per week). Contact: 082 602 7689 or visit gowiththeflow.co.za Communicating with children This half-day workshop covers understanding how children process information and learning how to talk so children will listen. Booking essential. 21 June. Time: 8:30am–12pm.

Venue: Kidz Academy and Daycare, Pecanwood Golf Estate, Hartbeespoort.

Cost: R250. Contact: 082 547 9224 or visit transformationalcoaching.co.za DIY Divas workshops Learn how to make a child’s chair and desk with a compartment. Booking essential. 7 June; workshops are held throughout the month.

Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: DIY Divas, shop 31 Zambezi Junction Shopping Centre, cnr Sefako Mugatho St and Breed St, Montana.

Cost: R750. Contact: 084 974 6083 or visit diy-divas.co.za Parent effectiveness training A parenting workshop covers the power of validation and learning the language of acceptance. Booking essential. 21 June.

Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: 63 Nicolson St, Brooklyn. Cost: R300. Contact: 082 904 8127 or visit parents.co.za

on stage and screen Beethoven Fourth Piano Concerto Pianist Willem de Beer performs with the Gauteng Philharmonic Orchestra. 20 and 22 June.

Time: 8pm Friday, 3pm Sunday. Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison and 13th St, Menlo Park.

Cost: R260–R300. Contact: 012 460 6033 or visit brooklyntheatre.co.za Fiddler in the Loop Italian-born violin wizard Luca Ciarla performs music by D. Reinhardt, The Beatles, P. Conte as well as

traditional songs. He sings, whistles and plays the ocarina. 11 June. Time: 8pm.

Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison St and 13th St, Menlo Park. Cost: R110–R135. Contact: 012 460 6033 or visit brooklyntheatre.co.za Die Blou Hond Enjoy dinner and a show at Casa Toscana. Afrikaans singer and songwriter Koos Kombuis performs.

13 June. Time: 6pm–11pm. Venue: 5 Darlington Rd, Lynnwood Manor. Cost: R290. Contact: 012 348 8820, bookings@ casatoscana.co.za or visit casatoscana.co.za Matthew Mole at Barnyard Theatre Matthew Mole performs songs from his debut album, The Home We Built. 1 June.

Time: 8pm, doors open 6:30pm. Venue: shop F92, Parkview Shopping Centre, cnr Garsfontein Rd and Netcare St, Moreleta Park. Cost: R120. Contact: 012 368 1555 or visit barnyardtheatre.co.za Old Friends – A Tribute to Simon and Garfunkel Ben van Zyl and Pieter Smit perform the gentle, melodic harmonies of the legendary folk duo. 25 June. Time: 8pm. Venue: Atterbury Theatre, 4 Daventry St, Lynnwood. Cost: R180. Contact: 012 471 1700 or visit atterburytheatre.co.za

out and about Coffee tasting Hear the story of coffee, how to prepare the perfect cup, and learn about palate development. Booking essential. 14 June. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: Simo’s Coffee Roastery, Karoo Café, 141 Lynnwood Rd, The Willows. Cost: R250, includes tasting and a light meal. Contact: 082 562 3121 or visit simoscoffee.co.za

support groups Alzheimer’s caregiver support group The aim of this group is to try to assist each other in the huge task at hand by sharing information and experiences. Booking essential. 16 June. Time: 5:15pm–7pm.

Venue: Princess Christian Home, 120 Middel St, Nieuw Muckleneuk. Cost: free. Contact: 082 401 9546 or visit pch24.org

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Baby massage They will show you how to read your baby’s body language and create a sense of calm. Booking essential. For babies from birth–12 months old. 27 June.

Time: 9am–10am. Venue: Empowering Mothers, 366 Snowy Walker St, Garsfontein.

Cost: R500. Contact: 084 220 0548 or visit empoweringmothers.co.za Mommy and baby yoga A bonding class for moms and babies. Time: 4:30pm–5:30pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Go With the Flow, 422 Trevor Gething St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R300 per month.

Contact: 082 602 7689

playtime and story time

Adult yoga classes

Snickerdoodle Petting Farm Children can meet their mix of miniature ponies, cattle, chickens, pigs and more. Time: 9am–5pm, daily. Venue: Chameleon Village, off the R104, Hartbeespoort Dam. Cost: R20. Contact: 083 320 5525, 082 605 8870 or visit pettingfarm.co.za magazine pretoria

it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

Moms, babes and tots workshop

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

A babies and toddlers programme that helps to stimulate gross and fine motor skills, and emotional and social development. For babies 2–36 months old. Time: varies. Venue: 757 Volksrust St, Faerie Glen. Cost: varies. Contact: 083 399 2667 or visit momsandbabes.co.za

support groups Cleft Friends A network of people with training and hands-on experience. Contact: 0861 276 453 or visit cleftfriends.co.za Epilepsy South Africa Contact: 086 037 4537, gauteng@epilepsy.org.za or visit epilepsy.org.za SOFFT Family Wellness Centre A registered NPO that provides support to families who are affected by long-term health conditions and special needs. Venue: section 92 Mooiplaats, Boschkop. Contact: 074 120 0279 or visit sofftsa.org Stork’s Nest Offers antenatal and postnatal classes, as well as immunisations, weighing and measuring. Contact: 0861 665 665 or visit storksnest.co.za

how to help Centurion Hospice Charity Shop Donate your unwanted goods to the shop.

There is a tea garden and play area with a jungle gym. Time: 8am–3:45pm Monday– Saturday. Venue: cnr Clifton Rd and North St, Lyttelton. Contact: 012 664 6175 The Storehouse Donations of clothing, children’s books, nonperishable food, household goods and more helps 52 nonprofit organisations. They are currently in need of clothing for boys of all ages.

Venue: donations can be dropped at Hatfield Christian Church or The Storehouse office, Lyttelton. Contact: 012 644 0111, 082 891 4934 or visit thestorehouse.org.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to pretoria@childmag. co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971.

Information must be received by 30 May for the July issue, and must include all relevant details.

No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

magazine pretoria

June 2014

29

finishing touch

copycats CASSANDRA SHAW describes how her son picks up on everything – even the things she wishes he hadn’t.

i

t’s amazing how impressionable children are. I distinctly remember taking a Sunday drive with my family in the countryside one day, when my sister, who was three years old at the time, exclaimed to my step-dad, who’s known for being a bit vocal when behind the wheel, “Look Daddy, there are no *&%-*$@!s on the road today.”

Our son has also repeated a few choice words he’s learnt from us. And, like my step-dad, we also had sheepish looks on our faces.

As parents, we don’t realise how much of what we say and do is picked up by our children. They remember and associate things you wouldn’t have even thought twice about. During a Skype conversation with his grandpa

recently, my son quickly went to his room and grabbed his tiger hat and harmonica, because he now associated these objects with my dad, whom he’d visited almost a year ago.

At the moment these are The Jungle Book, The Lion King and 101 Dalmatians.

After he watches these shows he loves to pretend he’s a bear like Baloo, a powerful lion like Mufasa, or a dog like Pongo. So

Children remember and associate things you wouldn’t have even thought twice about.

During these early years a child’s mind is a sponge as they try to come to grips with social practices and the world around them. So, as parents, we’ve really got to be on our best behaviour – even while driving.

Being aware of the things they take part in or watch on TV is just as important. Our son, like most children, loves it when he is allowed to watch his favourite movies.

he’ll dance, roar and bark his way around the house. He’s even set up an area on the couch to look like Pride Rock. And when he’s pretending to be a dog he picks up his teddy bears with his mouth. My least favourite trait has to be when he tries to eat his food – face first in his plate.

Our children also pick up things from their friends. For the longest time our

son refused to eat bananas after learning that some children from his school were not big fans of bananas. After that, no matter how hard I tried, he’d scrunch up his nose, stick out his tongue and say, “Yuck!”

That all changed, however, thanks to his favourite characters from a certain movie based in the jungle. The other morning, he actually came into the kitchen asking for a banana after seeing the two main characters scoff down copious amounts of the yellow fruit. Finally!

Now if only there was something that would make a positive impression on him when it comes to eating baby marrows…

Cassandra is a freelance editor and writer who often blogs about her life as a Canadian living in Cape Town.

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June 2014

magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPH: MENKE BONNEMA

Cassandra and her son

books

a good read for toddlers

for preschoolers

Can’t You Sleep Little Bear?

By Martin Waddell and Barbara Firth

The Gruffalo Play

By Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler

(Published by Walker Books, R82) Little Bear can’t sleep. He’s frightened of the dark, even with the biggest lantern of them all at his bedside. But Big Bear finds an ingenious way to reassure him… When it was first published in 1988, Can’t You Sleep Little Bear? quickly became a classic bedtime favourite. A timeless and universal bestseller for children from the age of three to seven, it has won multiple awards, has been translated into 25 languages and has sold over seven million copies. Waddell is widely acknowledged as one of the greatest writers of children’s books.

set the stage

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R81) The Gruffalo story has been adapted into a fun and accessible play script, ideal for children to use as a school play or at home. The book has been designed with rehearsals and a performance in mind.

Colour coding for each character helps children to follow their lines and join the action. The book also contains tips, which include helpful advice on staging the play and performing it with larger groups. There are ideas for themed make-and-do Gruffalo activities and the lyrics and music for The Gruffalo Song.

for early graders

for preteens and teens

Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

By Judy Blume (Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R94) The first book published in Judy Blume’s hugely successful and hilarious fiction series about a naughty little boy called Fudge, has received new cover art from picture book star Emily Gravett (Little Mouse’s Big Book of Fears and The Odd Egg). Peter thinks he has the world’s biggest problem – his little brother, Fudge. Fudge causes trouble wherever he goes and it’s usually up to Peter to sort out the mess. When Peter wins a tiny green turtle called Dribble, he is determined to keep it away from his brother, but when Fudge does get his hands on Dribble, disaster strikes. The other books in the series also received a makeover, and it’s worth investing in them: Double Fudge, Superfudge, Fudge-A-Mania and Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great.

Stay Where You Are & Then Leave

By John Boyne

(Published by Random House Struik, R219) The day the First World War broke out, Alfie Summerfield’s father promised he wouldn’t go away to fight, but he broke that promise the following day. Four years later, Alfie doesn’t know where his father might be, other than that he’s away on a special, secret mission. Then, while shining shoes at King’s Cross Station, Alfie unexpectedly sees his father’s name – in a sheaf of papers belonging to a military doctor.

Bewildered and confused, Alfie realises his father is in a hospital close by – a hospital treating soldiers with an unusual condition. Alfie is determined to rescue his father from this strange, unnerving place. From the author of The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas comes another classic story for children from the age of nine to 11.

for parents Mysmartkid (Distributed by Leisure Books, R295 every two months) This is a play-and-learn programme for children from the age of birth to six years old.

Designed by a panel of leading experts, Mysmartkid provides tools for early childhood development to help you give your child the best start in life. Enjoy fun activities with your little one while helping them reach their full potential. Subscribe to Mysmartkid at only R295 per child every two months. A Smartbox jam-packed with age-appropriate toys and tools plus a parent’s guide will be dispatched as soon as your membership has been registered. And as a special welcome offer, your first Smartbox will include two exclusive gifts: a free children’s backpack and a step-by-step guide to the early developmental milestones. Thereafter you will receive a Smartbox every two months. In addition to your Smartbox, you will also receive informative email newsletters compiled by experts in early childhood development. As a member you qualify for extra discounts at mysmartkid.com as well as unique downloads, resources, articles and information tailored to your child’s age and developmental area. The Mysmartkid programme is distributed by Leisure Books.

You can register online at mysmartkid.com, choose your child’s age, and get your ageappropriate activity box delivered free in South Africa every two months.

not to b e missed