Child Magazine | Pretoria March 2013

P r e t o r i a’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

online research useful tips and top sites

to do is to learn

raising a self-reliant & confident child

pick the right preschool

10

questions you should ask

www.childmag.co.za

March 2013

free

health

getaways hit the road, jack we’ve mapped a route for you to explore

education

entertainment

Hunter House P UB L IS H ING

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Simone Jeffery • joburg@childmag.co.za Editorial Assistant Lucille Kemp • capetown@childmag.co.za Copy Editor Debbie Hathway

Art Designers Nikki-leigh Piper • nikki@childmag.co.za Alys Suter • studio2@childmag.co.za Mariette Barkhuizen • studio@childmag.co.za Mark Vincer • studio3@childmag.co.za

Advertising Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Client Relations Renee Bruning • renee@childmag.co.za

Subscriptions and Circulation Helen Xavier • subs@childmag.co.za

When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money.

– Susan Heller Then take half the clothes and twice the money.

Wise words indeed, and certainly applicable to our last holiday.

As my children have grown older, travelling has become easier and our destinations more adventurous. They’ve had to. With a seven-year age difference between my daughters, our holidays need to appeal to their varied interests.

I have always thought that a skiing holiday would be a great way for us all to reconnect and have some fun. So last December, we did just that.

With no pushchairs or prams, holidays are certainly lighter on the load, if not on the pocket, and the week spent on the slopes of the French Alps was definitely worth every cent. It was a fantastic way to completely remove ourselves from the mundane routine of our everyday lives.

As my husband and I, along with our youngest, were skiing for the first time we signed up for the debutant’s class. I love the French – only they could make our clumsy debut on the snow sound so elegant. My eldest, Julian, being the well-travelled teenager that she is, had skied before and she joined a more advanced class. The funny thing about skiing is that no one tells you how hard it is. On day three, I had to remind myself of Winston Churchill’s quote: “If you are going through hell, keep going.”

We did, and now when we sit around the dinner table we have stories to share of snow ploughing, face plants, bruised ribs and, my personal favourite, of having to drop four metres off a moving chair lift because I’d left it too late, only to plough into a group of very trendy snowboarders. It was painful for me; deeply humiliating for my children.

Now that you know how I spent my last holiday, I hope you’ll visit our Facebook page and share some of your travel experiences. We’d love to hear what worked, or didn’t, on your last getaway.

Julian and Lisa Mc Namara

Accounts Nicolene Baldy • admin@childmag.co.za Tel: 021 465 6093 • Fax: 021 462 2680

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March 2013

3

contents

march 2013

14

upfront 3

a note from lisa

5 over to you readers respond

features 14 i can do it

Lisa Lazarus explains the importance of teaching your children to be self-reliant

16 when your domestic helper’s

role changes your domestic helper might be the nanny you’re looking for.

By Lucille Kemp 18 smart from the start

im Maxwell gives you 10 questions K you should ask when choosing a preschool for your child

regulars

19 off the record

7 upfront with paul

doing the school run is a great opportunity for parents and children to bond and share, says Christina Castle

20 surf with savvy Bianca Wright gives tips on how to properly research online 21 happy travels Lynne O’Connor shares her family’s tips on how to make the journey as much fun as the destination

health

aul Kerton is not a fan of P permanent tattoos

10 pregnancy news – birth partners

Françoise Gallet looks at care options when you’re having a baby

11 best for baby – a pain in the gums

there are ways to alleviate your baby’s teething discomfort, says Anél Lewis

12 dealing with difference

Glynis Horning explains dysnomia, a rare learning difficulty where sufferers struggle with words

22 resource – one for the road

6

volume control

protect your child’s hearing with the right earphones. By Tamlyn Vincent

18

follow the Magalies Meander and discover these getaway gems.

Compiled by Simone Jeffery

23 a good read

new books for the whole family

24 what’s on in march 30 finishing touch

t eam Lewis – dad, mom and children – are gearing up for the big race. By Anél Lewis

classified ads 29 family marketplace 29 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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March 2013

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

ninasaycheese ninasaycheese.com

Il Gufo Photograph: Stefano Azario Jelli Children’s Boutique

Natasha Brooks Photography natashabrooks.com

ninasaycheese ninasaycheese.com

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letters

smell the roses

thanks Child magazine

In response to the article “smell the roses” (December 2012/January 2013): we hopped off the rat race treadmill 23 years ago and have never been happier. It’s financially more restricting, but the joy of watching children in our hamlet able to grow up as children, creating happy childhood memories and growing colourful imaginations, is food for the soul. Our days are jammed full of “things” we need to do, but we are now also able to smell the roses, even amongst the prickles. Yesterday’s prickle was discovering a porcupine had dug under the fence and eaten my broccoli and Brussels sprouts.

Anonymous

I received a copy of your magazine and I would like to pass on my appreciation. It is very informative and, as a dad, I really enjoyed it. It is more than an excellent read.

Solomon Kelaetse

pro modern medicine

This is a note of appreciation for Child magazine’s kind book donation to the Wits Speech Pathology and Audiology Xanthia Library project.

Nicola Burger

I am not an apologist for the medical profession or the pharmaceutical industry – they have amply documented weaknesses, deficiencies and shortcomings. That said, the scientific method and modern medicine have strong records of achievement in eradicating deadly diseases, increasing life expectancy, making childbirth safer, and providing an improved quality of life. Alternative medicine such as homeopathy can make no such claims. In fact, alternative medicines do not work. If they did, they would become a part of mainstream medicine. Since they contain no active ingredient, they would be extremely cheap and a massive boon to mankind. The notion that “like cures like” is unsupported by any scientific theory or evidence.

Peter Gilbert

Our school received a copy of your magazine and it was a great discovery. We enjoyed reading the articles, and we have already contacted your various advertisers for playground equipment among other things.

Kobie van Es

“sweet dreams” blog In response to the reader’s blog (February 2013): the complete unconditional love you have for your child while enjoying your own space really touched me as a mother. You ask if it is wrong that you love your daughter just a wee bit more when she’s asleep?

No. As mothers, we know our needs and wants are not a priority. We should embrace our choices and the feeling we get from that will spill out onto all the people we love.

Carla Orkin

don’t bad-mouth the teacher

when the sun shines…

I recently took my grandchild to a birthday party. There were plenty of moms there who spent their time questioning the teachers’ methods, which I thought was disrespectful.

Is it right to bad-mouth teachers behind their backs or should one rather meet with the teacher, and discuss the problem at hand?

Concerned gran

We have been experiencing some excruciatingly hot weather lately and I ask the question; why do our school children have to wear blazers? It is an outdated English tradition and we live in very sunny South Africa. Couldn’t we replace it with a cooler and equally formallooking cotton waistcoat?

Nicci

over to you thanks to the teachers Thank you for your article, “so, you should know…”

(February 2013). My eldest son’s temper tantrums and screaming fits are a thing of the past, thanks to his teacher who worked with me and showed me how to cope. My younger son has refused to talk and this year his teacher has been working to turn his mumbling into understandable words. These are just two loving teachers who have helped me, the parent.

Roisin Losco

in response to “get those shots” (February 2013) It saddens me that the parents who read this article will be under the impression that it is the only way to go.

I’ve found alarming evidence on the negative aspects of vaccines. If it’s not compulsory to immunise our children in this country, surely it’s the parents’ right not to, and to be exposed to some of the negative statistics out there?

Debra This is a controversial issue and as a magazine that reaches thousands of parents I feel you owe it to them to present both sides. You refer to the practice of avoiding vaccinations and depending on herd immunity, as immoral. Have you considered that we are not avoiding vaccinations; we are protecting our children from their harmful effects, and are breaking from the herd mentality that has us in a situation of ADD, autism and compromised immunity problems?

Deidre Kostek, Cape Town

Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag and facebook.com/childmag.co.za

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Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

If vaccines work, why would an unvaccinated child pose a threat to a vaccinated one? Vaccines destroy natural immunity and accelerate the autoimmune disease process. Concerns about the preservative thimerosal (a mercury-containing compound) are not even touched upon in the article, let alone those relating to adjuvants and other harmful contaminants. Do you think it’s prudent to make statements about the safety of vaccines in a magazine that is freely distributed?

Sonia de Villiers, Cape Town

Childmag says The World Health Organisation estimates that immunisation saves two to three million lives a year. In a country where 15 percent of deaths in children under five are due to diarrhoea and nine percent are from pneumonia, both of which can be prevented with vaccines, Child magazine has taken the position that we have a moral obligation to vaccinate our children. This decision is based on the overwhelming evidence that vaccination is the most effective and affordable method of preventing serious childhood illnesses.

Writer of the article, Glynis Horning, adds: Where communities have resisted vaccinations, or not had them for other reasons (unavailability of vaccines or lack of access to clinics), there have again been outbreaks; proven risks of not vaccinating far outweigh fears of vaccinations being linked to conditions like autism, which have been extensively scientifically refuted. The argument against vaccinating will always rage, largely by those who favour allopathic medicine

and science, and those who favour alternative health remedies exclusively, offer anecdotal evidence, or are content with small or less than rigorous studies, and attribute commercial interests to the other side.

This article confirms that the choice to vaccinate is the parents’, but when the costs of not vaccinating are so high, and many parents are confused by the welter of websites, blogs and books out there of dubious scientific standing, our position must be to vaccinate.

Rosemary Burnett, senior lecturer in epidemiology in the Department of Public Health at the University of Limpopo, says: The reason unvaccinated children may make some vaccinated children susceptible to infection is because vaccines are not 100 percent effective. The claim that vaccines accelerate the autoimmune disease process is biologically implausible and there is no scientific evidence to support it at all. If we did not use thimerosal in our multi-dose vials, our babies would end up with abscesses or worse.

It would be irresponsible of me not to make statements about the importance of vaccines when I see the risks of not vaccinating. It is my duty as a public health professional to help parents make informed decisions about vaccinating their babies. subscribe to our newsletter and win Our wins have moved online. Please subscribe to our newsletter and enter our weekly competition.

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

March 2013

5

health

volume control You can help protect your child’s hearing by choosing

usic and sound are part of our daily lives. We listen to music for fun and while we exercise and, with advances in classroom technology, children will soon be listening to their cellphones and computer tablets while they learn.

“Noise is one of the main contributors to hearing loss,” says Joburg audiologist Melissa Cooper, who adds that more young people are starting to develop noise-induced hearing loss. This is caused by the volume of music coming through earphones as well as consistent exposure to sound that is just too loud, which creates cumulative damage.

sound it out But figuring out how long to listen to music and at what volume or sound intensity, measured in decibels, can be tricky. To give you an idea, you can listen to noise that is 85 decibels for eight hours a day. This is about the equivalent of heavy traffic or a vacuum cleaner. At 88 decibels, the sound of a hairdryer, you are doubling the sound pressure, so you should halve the listening time. A sound of 91 decibels, equivalent to the hum of a lawnmower, is another doubling, giving you two hours of listening time. Listening to noise for an extended period can also cause hearing fatigue. It’s best to give your ears frequent breaks of peace and quiet.

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March 2013

lawnmower (91 dB) vacuum cleaner (85 dB)

threshold of pain (130 dB)

hairdryer (88 dB) normal conversation at 1 to 2m (60 dB)

an earful Exposure to environmental noise is one thing, but how do we curtail the level of sound we pump into our ears via earphones? It can be difficult to monitor the volume at which children listen to music, so the type of earphones they use is important. Richard Baird, an electronics specialist, points out that there is currently no legislation requiring warnings to be printed on earphones and many do not display the sound intensity capacity on the packaging or say how long you can listen for. Thus there’s no indication of how powerful the earphones are. While MP3 players and other devices often allow you to set a volume limit, if the earphones are very powerful, setting the volume won’t help. So it is best to only use earphones that display warnings and decibels, which should be limited to 85 decibels for children and 91 for adults.

The insert earphones play music directly into the ears, and may produce higher sound levels than other types.

Cooper recommends earphones that cover the ears, so there is room for the sound to escape. Noise cancelling earphones that block out background noise mean you don’t have to put the volume up to compensate for external sounds, but they still need to be limited to 85 decibels, and Baird cautions that they can be dangerous if used when you need to be focused on your surroundings.

whisper (20 dB) threshold of hearing (0 dB)

signs of hearing loss in children • not following instructions • struggling to hear in noisy environments such as restaurants • a ringing or a buzzing sound in the ears • extreme sensitivity to loud noises • asking you to repeat things • sound and voices appear muffled or unclear • turning up the television volume

treatment options The hair cells in the ear are damaged by continuous exposure to high noise levels, explains Cooper. This is irreversible and there is no treatment to improve hearing, but hearing aids can be used.

Preventative measures and early detection through hearing tests are your best options.

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ILLUSTRATIONS: shutterstock.com

m

the right earphones, says Tamlyn Vincent.

decibel scale

upfront with paul

no ink, please Body art or not, tattoos are permanent, says PAUL KERTON, who wishes his daughters will rather stick to those temporary ones that peel off.

Saskia, Paul and Sabina

PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

l

ike ear piercing, nail art, hair dying and fashion itself, tattooing is billed as a harmless form of self-expression; merely “pimping” the body beautiful in an artful way. Once the preserve of sailors, with their “I love Mom” hearts and anchors, tattooing has infiltrated the bodies of the young. Fuelled by film stars, pop singers and professional footballers – think Angelina Jolie and David Beckham – tattoos have become a global obsession.

I know people of every age and background with body art, from teenagers with subtle swallows or roses on their ankle or bellybutton to adults with huge gothic tapestries akin to the girl with the dragon tattoo in the eponymous novel and movie.

I was once having a conversation about UFOs with the secretary to the then

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editor of the prestigious Financial Mail, as you do. She revealed that she had a tattoo of a spaceship on her bottom.

This was slightly surprising coming from a woman of her mature years. “Would you like to see it?” she said proudly, sensing my disbelief, and before I could collect myself, she had bent over the editor’s desk and done the necessary with her skirt and pantyhose to reveal a detailed image of a classic flying saucer. I stared, mesmerised, and then, feeling like Basil Fawlty in this sitcom moment, urged her to get her drawers back on before her boss returned.

As you’ve probably picked up, I’ve never been a great fan of tattoos, being brought up not to “deface” my own body.

Even writing on my hand to remember

a telephone number was frowned upon.

Last October in North Carolina, tattoo artist Odessa Clay inked her 11-year-old daughter with, admittedly, a tiny heart.

She was duly arrested for abuse. There are many other similar examples but the common denominator is that all the “guilty” parents believed that they could basically do anything they wanted with their own child, which is very much not the case.

The global legal age to get a tattoo hovers between 16 and 18 years old, but I can see a rapidly approaching big issue on the horizon for many of us.

Already my daughters have sported those ingenious temporary ones, which I like precisely because they are exactly that.

Even the henna tattoos that they find at the

market take ages to fade, but at least they do disappear.

The problem for me is not the fact that my daughter suddenly has a tattoo of a peace sign or a Union Jack splashed across her shoulder, it’s the very permanence of it.

If a woman puts on lipstick, she can change her shade three thousand times a day to match the occasion, and I couldn’t care less.

We can even let pierced ears heal again if we so desire, but a tattoo is permanent and to remove it is both expensive and painful.

Admittedly, there are many with tattoos who absolutely love them until the day they die, but there are a great many who regret having been inked the minute that ink is dry. Hopefully my daughters won’t regret the same thing.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

March 2013

7

pregnancy news

birth partners

o

ne of the standard questions fired at all pregnant women is “who is your gynae?” but your gynaecologist, or obstetrician is not the only person you can consult, especially if you are hoping for a natural birth. Dr Douglas Dumbrill, a Cape Town-based gynaecologist, says while your first option is to choose a gynaecologist, you can also see an independent midwife in private practice. Midwives are trained in the management of low-risk pregnancies and normal births, although they can be consulted in other cases if there is also a doctor to provide specialist care.

different approaches When it comes to antenatal care, both a midwife and a gynaecologist will see you at regular intervals during your pregnancy to assess certain health indicators. However, a gynaecologist will usually offer a scan with every visit, while a midwife will refer you to a medical specialist.

An antenatal appointment with a midwife tends to be “longer, warmer and friendlier”, says Sister Tamzin Ingram, nursing services manager at Genesis Clinic, an active birthing clinic in Joburg. “They will talk about your feelings, build a relationship with you and talk about the life of the pregnant mother.”

There is a difference in post-birth care too. A midwife will usually visit the mother two to three times over a 10-day

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March 2013

Know who to turn to when it comes to choosing a caregiver for your pregnancy and the delivery of your baby. By FRANÇOISE GALLET

period to attend to issues such as breast-feeding, cord care, jaundice and to check that the baby has regained its birth weight. Those who birth with a gynaecologist usually go home on day three and thereafter have to visit a wellbaby clinic.

But probably the most marked difference is the freedom of choice midwives offer with respect to the venue for labour.

They generally will support a low-risk client’s decision to birth wherever she feels most safe and comfortable – be that in hospital, in an active birthing unit or at home.

Not all gynaecologists support natural birth to the same degree. However, even for some low-risk expectant mothers, the very appeal of a gynaecologist is that they specialise in pathology. “There is a perception that maybe we are safer,” says Dumbrill. “It’s a very personal choice.”

advantages of a midwife Consider an independent midwife if one-on-one support during and after labour is important to you. Dumbrill says you will get to know your midwife really well, whereas your gynaecologist may be supported by a team of general hospital staff, who won’t be familiar to you at all.

Cape Town mother Helen Bond opted to see a midwife for both her pregnancies. Her choice was fuelled, in part, by a desire to have “one person, one face”, who would be with her throughout her labour.

do you need a doula?

Whether you opt for a midwife or gynaecologist, it is worth considering the benefits of a doula, especially for those who are anxious about labour. Trained in non-medical labour support, the doula’s role is something akin to that of an “expert” mother or girlfriend; the person who encourages and reassures. They’ll tend to your partner too, with the aim of making your labour more comfortable. Post-birth they can help you latch your baby or offer advice, says Lana Peterson of Cape Town, who has been a doula for almost 10 years.

help in finding a midwife or doula Birthing in Awareness has contact information for midwives and doulas nationally. Visit birthing.co.za Birthworks has a national list of midwives and doulas. Visit birthworks.co.za Doulas of Southern Africa offers a list of doulas in your area. Visit doula.org.za or email info@doula. org.za if you can’t find one listed near to you.

Genesis Clinic offers a list of private midwives in Joburg. Visit genesisclinic.co.za The Independent Midwives Professional Association of Cape Town offers information about midwives in the Western Cape. Visit capemidwives.co.za

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best for baby

a pain in the gums Teething troubles afflict most young babies, but there are ways to alleviate their discomfort. By ANÉL LEWIS

PHOTOGRAPH: CJ Photography

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our baby has a fever, diarrhoea and won’t settle.

Are those new teeth really to blame? It’s doubtful, say paediatric dentists and doctors, as the emergence of the baby teeth, known as teething, is a “normal” physiological process that should not require aggressive medical treatment.

Dr Candice Schwartz, a Gauteng-based paediatric dentist, says babies are protected by their own natural immunity for the first six months, after which the sudden drop of protective antibodies makes them susceptible to infection and they may develop symptoms such as high temperatures and diarrhoea. It is “coincidence” that the first teeth often appear at this age and these common ailments are “not related to teething at all”. She adds, “The only signs that should be associated with teething are restlessness, increased salivation and fist or hand chewing”. However, she advises parents to look out for vomiting, a fever of more than 38°C and listlessness, which could signal a more serious problem unrelated to teething. Joburg dentist Dr Sameera Yusufmia says these may be caused by infections of the ear or respiratory tract, and should be referred to a doctor.

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expected time of arrival

pain relief

The first pearly white should push through your baby’s gums at about six months, but there is much variation with teething and eruption patterns and many exceptions to the rule, says Schwartz. Some babies are born with a neonatal tooth, which is lost soon after birth, while other babies will start teething from three months. “A good rule of thumb is that for every six months, about four teeth will erupt.” So your 12 month old should have about eight teeth. Yusufmia says you only need to be concerned if there is no sign of teeth by 18 months. Late teething may be due to genetic, nutritional or medical factors. You can expect your child to have a full set of 20 primary teeth by the age of three.

Although there is no evidence that teething remedies really work, parents can use a combination of treatments, from medical to alternative, to alleviate their baby’s discomfort. Yusufmia recommends wiping your baby’s face frequently to remove drool and prevent a rash, while large chunks of cold vegetables or fruit will be soothing for him to chew on. You can also rub the gums with your (clean) fingers or moist cottonwool.

Pain medication can be used, but “only with your dentist’s advice”.

Schwartz is a firm believer in amber beads to reduce inflammation and ease discomfort. She says the necklaces should be worn around your baby’s ankle in a sock at night to avoid choking or be removed completely when the baby is asleep. Homeopathic remedies, natural rubber teething rings or a natural rubber finger brush may also help.

Schwartz says to avoid giving teething biscuits or rusks that are high in sugar. Don’t leave sugary drinks such as sweetened tea in your child’s bottle. While many parents swear by topical teething gels, Schwartz says most of it gets swallowed without having much effect. Despite the plethora of teething remedies to choose from, Schwartz adds, “Teething is a time when your child needs, above all else, love and support.”

To download a teething chart, go to childmag. co.za/content/pain-gums

in the dentist’s chair Schwartz urges parents to take their babies for their first checkup by the age of one. “Prevention is key and I see too many parents visiting me when their children are (older) and the damage has already been done.” Cleaning the mouth and gums should start from birth, she says.

Yusufmia recommends using a soft, damp piece of cotton wool or gauze to clean your baby’s mouth. You can use a baby toothbrush when the first tooth appears.

March 2013

11

dealing with difference

what’s

that word?

Muddling the names of things could be a sign

of a learning disability called dysnomia, says GLYNIS HORNING.

p

ensioner Doug Vermeulen struggled at school and repeated Grade 12 twice, yet he knew he was bright.

“Chatting with varsity students and adults, I always more than held my own and often contributed fresh perspectives, so I knew I wasn’t intellectually challenged.” His problem was that he battled when he wanted to recall a name or a piece of information. “It’s as though the hook I use to retrieve things from my memory has been straightened. It goes in, and there is information there to retrieve, but the hook can get nothing out.”

As a young adult, his own research of his difficulties led him to conclude that he had dyslexia. “When I write or type I repeat words, my tongue gets tangled when I speak, and sometimes strange words come out, to the amusement of family and friends.

It’s as if my speech mechanisms can’t keep up with the speed at which my brain operates.” Doug loved doing research and

dyslexia, “90 percent” of the problem was a separate, little-known condition called dysnomia. “If the information had just been available earlier, and my parents and I had been able to take (appropriate) steps, my life could have been different.”

more about dysnomia Dysnomia is sometimes known as “anomic aphasia”, “naming-speed deficit” or “semantic dyslexia”, but while it is a learning disability like dyslexia, it is not a form of dyslexia, says Gauteng educational psychologist Melanie Hartgill. “Dyslexia is a language processing disorder that can hinder reading, writing, spelling, and sometimes even speaking, while dysnomia is linked to neurological and speech factors and the person cannot remember words correctly. The difficulty with word retrieval affects written output, as can dyslexia for some people.”

dreamed of a career in academia, but after studying “every form of memory aid system available at the time” with little progress, he settled for jobs in sales. Then when Doug was 36, a remedial teacher friend told him about the “VAKT multisensory teaching method of recall”, using visual, auditory, kinaesthetic and tactile means to remember words. “I responded best to visual stimulus and developed my own form of hieroglyphics; drawing stick figures or simple scenes to remind me of a name or a bit of information.”

This was so successful that when a friend persuaded him to enter Bible College in his fifties, he not only coped with the studies, he averaged ninety percent on his exams.

But it’s only since he retired in Durban two years ago at the age of 74 that Doug has discovered that, while he had a degree of

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March 2013

Learning disorders such as dysnomia appear to be on the rise, probably because parents are becoming more aware of them, and because medical advances today are helping more at-risk babies survive, says Durban educational psychologist Shireen Mohamed. “We also rely so much on visual media that children are developing fewer language and speech skills.”

The actual cause of dysnomia remains unclear. Current thinking is that it has a genetic element in some cases, and immature neuron development or brain injury in others. “There’s no history of it in my family, but I had a forceps delivery and believe an injury from that brought on my problem,” says Doug. Birth trauma causing lack of oxygen to the brain has been linked to learning difficulties, confirms Mohamed.

But in some cases dysnomia can occur magazine pretoria

ILLUSTRATION: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

My tongue gets tangled when I speak, and sometimes strange words come out, to the amusement of family and friends.

later in life as a result of a tumour or lesion in the language area of the brain, the left hemisphere, or a stroke.

signs to look for The main indication is a difficulty recalling names or words, which is shown as hesitation or strained speaking. Sufferers often use associated or similar-sounding words even when these make no sense, such as “churn” for “burn” or “gutter” for “butter”. Some also battle to use numbers and do simple calculations. They can have difficulty grasping concepts and principles, and may take longer to complete tests because of their problems with recalling information, says Mohamed. “But generally children with learning difficulties have average to above average intelligence.”

If your child shows any of the signs, it’s vital to have them checked out immediately by a multidisciplinary team that can include an educational psychologist, a remedial and speech and language therapist, and a neuro-developmental paediatrician, and to have their hearing tested to rule out hearing difficulties. Ignoring signs can compromise not only their academic future and careers, but their emotional health, as communication problems can lead to withdrawal, frustration and clinical depression, which Doug experienced “at certain very traumatic times in my life”.

Diagnosis can be tricky as the symptoms are not always clear, and it typically mimics normal language development as young children often use incorrect words, says Hartgill. “It becomes more evident in senior primary when it begins to affect their ability to function in academic and social environments.” Dysnomia can also overlap with other learning disorders such as dyslexia, or with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), which presents with similar word retrieval and naming difficulties, says Mohamed. It’s usually done with a psycho-neurological assessment and speech and language assessment that highlights areas of the brain affected and the associated deficit.

treatment Treatment depends on the extent of the dysnomia. If it’s caused by a tumour

or lesion, surgery may help, along with speech therapy. But where the cause is genetic or due to a head injury, treatment mostly deals with finding ways to remediate the problem or work around it. “The focus is on word-retrieval strategies such as picture identification and categorization, says Mohamed. “Special attention is given to reading skills when reading disability is involved.”

Sufferers learn to stay calm, speak slowly, and use props to get a message across, or to draw pictures. Speech therapy should be started as early as possible, and may include VAKT. “If I’d started using my hieroglyphics at school, I may have retired as a professor,” rues Doug. Even starting as late as he did, he has been able to write 16 books in the past three years, mostly on Christian ministry and governance.

New treatment options such as Melodic Intonation Therapy (MIT) are being explored. This is based on the theory that while it’s difficult for dysnomia sufferers to speak words or phrases, as it’s a left-brain activity, they can often sing or say them using different pitches and rhythms, as musicality is a right-brain activity. “Studies need to be made of the individual child to find out what particular intervention would work best,” says Doug. “I just wish I’d had that option.”

other “dys-” types of learning difficulties Dysgraphia: difficulty writing – suspect this if your child’s writing is illegible or they struggle to draw Dyscalculia: difficulty doing certain maths, not counting accurately, reversing numbers Dyspraxia: difficulty with motor skills – clumsiness and difficulty with tasks like writing or tying shoelaces Dysarthria: difficulty speaking – a loss of control of facial muscles so speech is slow or slurred Dysphagia: difficulty swallowing – there’s risk of swallowing food or drink into the lungs which can cause pneumonia

word for word Durban speech and language therapist Ingrid Robertson advises: • Praise every effort at speech.

• Try to figure out the meaning of the words they make up.

• Speak slowly and distinctly.

• Use common words and simple sentences, but don’t talk down to them.

• Ask questions they can answer with a “yes” or “no”.

• Allow time for a reply; don’t second-guess or hurry them.

• Give phonetic cues, where you sound the first part of the word, if they get stuck.

• Get them to describe what they want to recall.

• Don’t speak for them or speak as if they aren’t there.

magazine pretoria

March 2013

13

parenting

i can do it Children are happier, and often more confident, when they can do things for themselves, says LISA LAZARUS.

w

hen I was 10, my family went to live in Hawaii for six months. More than anything else, I clearly remember walking to school by myself every morning. In South Africa, I was shuttled to and from school in lift clubs, but somehow I managed to convince my mother that in Hawaii all the local children walked to school. It helped that the school wasn’t far away; just over the road and then across two fields.

Many years later my mother told me that she would watch my progress from the balcony of our flat. First there was the heart-stopping moment when I was totally out of her sight and then, reassuringly, she would see me crossing the fields, my red dress growing smaller as the distance between us increased. Those moments of freedom and heady independence, of home behind and the world in front, are still with me today.

Clearly, my mother had to put aside her own anxiety for me to experience greater independence. This is not always easy to do, particularly for those parents who, in the words of Dr Robyn Silverman, a leading American child and adolescent development specialist, “hover over their children and swoop in before or at the slightest hint of discomfort, challenge or threat of failure”. Silverman puts forward the premise that it is “developmentally appropriate for children to become more and more independent, self-reliant and responsible as they age”.

more frequently your child makes their own decisions and determines their own course of action, the easier such behaviour becomes in the future. Lastly, as a parent, you are indicating by your actions that you trust your child by allowing him to perform tasks on his own. A child who feels trusted will be more open with a parent, which is especially important during the teenage years.

Associate Professor Rona Newmark, who works at Stellenbosch University and as an educational psychologist in private practice, adds that, “Children often have a natural desire to be self-reliant. If this is fostered from a young age, it emerges in a healthy manner.”

Even though a growing sense of self-reliance often emerges naturally, some children might be reluctant to try something new, according to Tamarin Epstein, an educational psychologist from family therapy centre in Joburg. There are reasons for this. “Children might not trust their own ability,” says Epstein, “or they could believe that mastering the tasks will result in less parental attention. Some children’s temperaments are not as adaptable, or they have emotional difficulties, which makes them feel insecure and needy.”

Epstein suggests that you try and encourage your child to do something independently, even if you initially have to help. Use praise for any success, and don’t be afraid to offer a small reward or positive reinforcement.

Although positive reinforcement is ideal, Margie Stead* uses a system of taking away rewards to encourage this kind of behaviour. She is mother to two children, a 13-year-old girl with ADHD and an eight-year-old boy who has autism. “Because I don’t have a nanny, Samantha has to go home after school by herself. She fixes her own lunch and then does her homework. We speak a couple of times during the afternoon, but Sam understands that if her homework is not completed, she will lose some of her perks, like pocket money.

She needs to learn that for every action there is a reaction.”

in training Deanne Plunkett, a Joburg-based life coach, states three advantages of greater self-reliance. “A self-reliant child is an empowered child,” she says. Such a child is responsible both for her own actions and the consequences of those actions, and it is through these consequences – even if they are sometimes negative – that a child learns how to navigate through the world. Secondly, self-reliance teaches self-confidence: the

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magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

I think children are curious and want to do things for themselves; it’s just a matter of making sure they can access what they need in order to explore the world relatively safely.

what should my child be able to do?

grin and bear it Epstein explains that some parents are afraid to see their child struggle. By jumping in and always performing a particular task for your child, you might be reinforcing dependency. Also, parents need to learn to accept messiness, especially at first, which is not always easy.

Joburg-based mom Frances Correia, who has three children, aged five, three and 20 months, says: “I don’t think that I’d thought consciously about putting anything in place to make them more self-reliant. However, I realise that there are many things they do for themselves naturally, and often this is facilitated by how I arrange our lives and our home. For example, all my children know how to find food in the house. We have a low vegetable rack that always has fruit in it and they understand that they are free to eat anything from there at any time.”

Of her parenting approach, Frances says: “It helps that I don’t mind walking into a mess or finding apples with two bites put back into the fruit rack. I think children are curious and want to do things for themselves; it’s just a matter of making sure they can access what they need in order to explore the world relatively safely.”

Educational psychologist Tamarin Epstein cautions that the tasks and ages below are a general guideline only. Also, adequate parental training, guidance and encouragement must be provided for children to achieve these skills. Remember that children born prematurely may take a little longer than their peers to achieve milestones.

A three year old can • stay dry all day (wearing nappies only at night).

A four year old can • stay dry at night as well; • dress and feed himself; and • wash his own hands.

A five year old can • wipe his own bottom; • wash his face, brush his teeth and hair; • use a telephone and cellphone (they can answer and talk on the phone, and dial an emergency number);

show them how Newmark points out that the parent’s own degree of self-reliance and independence is critically important when it comes to teaching these competencies. “One must ensure,” she says, “that one’s individual issues of dependency or co-dependency are not projected onto the child.” Plunkett adds that certain parental management styles can inhibit a child’s ability to develop self-reliance, so watch out if you are: • The parent who wants something done in a specific way, which could be as simple as packing toys away, helping prepare a meal, or having a bath. The child cannot do it properly, so the parent prefers to take over and do the task.

• The parent who doesn’t have the patience to wait for the child to complete the task herself.

• The parent who adopts the mistaken belief that everything should be done for the child. Perhaps the parent “had it tough growing up”, and had to do a lot for herself, and so she doesn’t want her child to have to go through a similar difficult time. magazine pretoria

• a pply sunscreen to his face and body; and • say his or her own name, surname, address and say and remember an emergency telephone number.

A six year old can • wash his own body and hair in the bath or shower.

An eight year old can • make his own lunch (if sharp knives, food processors and/ or ovens are not required).

techniques that can help children become more self-reliant, as advised

by Dr Robyn Silverman

1. Make their own decisions Silverman says that even a young child is capable of making an ageappropriate decision, such as what colour shirt to wear. Older children should be allowed to make A nine year old can more important decisions, such as which activities • pack and unpack a school bag. they want to do. “While it’s tempting to make these kinds of decisions for your older children, they A 10 year old can need to learn from their own mistakes and stand • organise his own playdates (as on their own two feet – after all, their decisions are long as he understands that often correct,” says Silverman. arrangements must be agreed 2. Do tasks on their own Silverman explains upon by both sets of parents, in that if a child expresses a keenness to try a task advance); and; herself, and if it’s safe to do so, then you should • do homework independently allow it. Expect it not to be done as well as you and only ask for guidance would have done it, but still praise the attempt and support from a parent/ and allow your child to try again next time. caregiver when needed.

3. Show self-reliance in action Children model their behaviour on what the adults around them do, so let them see and hear you carrying out tasks.

Whether you’re planning supper or changing a light bulb, tell your child what you’re doing.

4. Be your child’s coach If your child asks you how to do something, it might be more useful to ask a question in return than to provide an answer. For example: “How would you do it?

What would happen if you did X instead?”

5. Offer a good support system Draw a distinction between when children really need you, and when they want to be encouraged from the sidelines.

“When children know they can count on you when they’re really in need, they’ll feel more secure about taking healthy risks and making mistakes.”

6. Parcel out responsibilities Give your child age-appropriate chores and, if necessary, break the task down into easier chunks.

7. Promote healthy risk-taking Try and make your child understand that it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s not the “end of the world” if things don’t work out as planned. As parents, it’s difficult to watch our children fail, and our immediate response is to rush in and help, so that we shield them from frustration, disappointment or failure. However, children, like adults, need to try and persevere in the face of difficulty.

At the heart of Silverman’s approach is the idea that “young people are assets to be developed rather than deficits to be managed”. Rather than trying to “fix” children and adolescents, she would like to see strategies for motivating children to find their strengths, because this is how children will ultimately reach their potential. *Name changed to protect confidentiality March 2013

15

parenting

when your domestic helper’s role changes If you’re looking for someone to care for your child, your domestic helper may be the best

s

outh Africans are used to having domestic help at a price that we can afford. In my growing years during the ’80s and ’90s, my family did it the way most families did it back then. A woman named Ellen played this all-encompassing role in our family life for many years. She lived in and looked after us, which included walking us home from school every day, and she cleaned. And, of course, there was no formal contract for all these responsibilities.

Although much has changed when it comes to employment contracts today, many families still don’t regard domestic help as part of the formal workforce.

It’s important, however, to set up a proper contract, including your employee’s job description and salary, to ensure that they are treated fairly and that you are clear about your requirements. This is especially true when you want your domestic helper to assume the extra responsibility of looking after your child.

Make sure you review her job specifications and salary accordingly, after you have carefully considered her suitability as a childminder.

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March 2013

the screening process Karin Thomsen, cofounder of an agency specialising in the training and placement of nannies, says, “Qualities to look for are a positive attitude, honesty, reliability, initiative and a willingness to communicate and do tasks the mother’s way. Skills can always be taught.”

There is no such thing as the perfect nanny. A pleasant personality and experience are more important than many formal qualifications. Being a mother herself is an added advantage as it will make her more intuitive when it comes to, for example, understanding your baby’s different cries.

It’s important to be conscious of your family’s needs and then see if your domestic worker meets those. Melody Hendriks, who does childcare training and recruitment, has found, for instance, that moms may feel left out if the nanny becomes too principal in the home. “A mom who is away at work all day should consider a very experienced nanny whereas a mom who is also at home or works from home could go for a less experienced nanny.” Also, says Karin, remain reasonable. If she looks after your child

as well as cleans the house, her first priority will be with your child.

Ask yourself these questions when considering changing your domestic helper’s role: 1 Am I comfortable talking to her?

2 Does she have a passion for children, and is she physically capable of looking after a child or children?

3 Is she calm and relaxed?

4 Has she shown common sense in her decision-making?

5 Is she reliable and punctual?

6 Does she call when she is running late, and does she apologise if she arrives late?

7 Has she let me know if she has broken something in the house while cleaning?

8 Does she follow my verbal or written instructions and respond with a good attitude?

9 Does she ask for help and clarity when she needs it, and express her dissatisfaction when she is unhappy?

10 Is she presentable and does she have a sense of orderliness that is compatible with mine?

magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPHS and ILLUSTRATIONS: shutterstock.com

person for the job, says LUCILLE KEMP.

how best to make it work “On a practical level, you want to ensure your home is running smoothly and that it is evident that your child is happy, safe, loved and stimulated. On an emotional level, you want to have confidence in and trust your nanny,” says Karin. These tips will ensure that you and your nanny are satisfied: • Provide your nanny with a daily schedule for your child and a notebook where she can record the day’s routine.

• As your domestic helper will now care for your child, her levels of responsibility and accountability

are greater, so make sure you pay her accordingly, including overtime if necessary.

• Send your nanny on childcare training, especially for first aid.

• Provide a prioritised cleaning list so that she can manage her time effectively.

• Simple appreciation goes a long way so Karin suggests you make time, at least once a week, to connect with your employee.

• Be grateful for your child and nanny’s relationship.

Don’t take it personally if your child seems to choose their nanny over you; see it as a sign that your child is

recommended hours and wages Melody says, “We have labour laws defining minimum salaries but in reality those salaries are not going to find you the top candidate.” A salary of between R2 500 and R4 000 per month is recommended, depending on travel and hours worked. Working hours are as follows: for a five-day week or less – nine hours a day; more than five days a week – eight hours a day and 45 is the maximum number of hours that can be worked in a week. The maximum working hours in any day, including overtime, is 12 hours and the maximum amount of overtime that can be worked per week is 15 hours.

a guideline of roles and recommended wages domestic nanny

nanny/childminder

nanny/au pair (naupair)

description

A person whose responsibilities include caring for young children and doing light cleaning in the home

A person whose responsibilities only include caring for young children and perhaps doing some laundry and ironing for the children

A well-spoken, well-educated person whose responsibilities only include caring for young children and doing light housework

education

Minimal

Minimal

Tertiary

monthly salary

R3 000–R3 500

R3 500–R4 000

From R4 000

driving

No

No

Yes, but she may not have her own car

housework

Yes, but generally light work as she has to balance childcare and housework

Yes, but housework associated with the child, such as sorting toys, laundry and ironing

Light housework associated with the child

cooking

Yes or no

Yes, to cook the child’s food

Yes, to cook the child’s food

Courtesy of Super Nannies

magazine pretoria

happy. Joburg-based mom Riley is moving her sevenyear-old son to a private aftercare school facility. He has been with his nanny Gracie after school every day since he was six months old. “For Gracie, I have taken away her ‘other child’ and as it’s not a simple process, I have had to be sensitive and gentle in my approach.”

It’s good to know that your child can be this loved by someone other than you.

• Check transport routes and times before confirming the position. Your nanny needs to be happy with her working hours and confident that she can still look after her own family’s needs.

what makes her good for the job?

In clinical psychologist Jeanine Beukes’s academic paper on the pivotal role the African nanny plays in the South African home, she notes that the innate personality of the African woman makes for a great caregiver. Because they believe that it takes a village to raise a child, they will love and nurture your child as their own. Karin says that irrespective of a nanny’s cultural background, her success as a caregiver will depend on her interaction with you and your child. “I have had nannies from two very different backgrounds look after my children and both have been equally amazing with them. It is very much about personal preference.”

For agencies that can train your domestic helper to become a nanny, visit childmag.co.za/ resources/home-help

March 2013

17

education

smart from the start The pressure to find the right school for your child starts as early as preschool. KIM MAXWELL suggests 10 questions to help you make an informed decision.

where do I start?

For new parents the boggling array of terms can be confusing. A playgroup, play centre or play school generally refers to a small, mornings-only group for children between the ages of two and three, but these may sometimes include children up to the age of five. A preschool or nursery school usually offers bigger morning-only classes for three to five year olds. At a daycare or crèche, children from the age of two usually have structured mornings, and free play or additional extramural activities during afternoons.

The term preprimary applies to Grade R, also known as Grade 0, a compulsory preparation year for children turning six before primary school. Do your research and visit schools in your area. Speak to friends about their preferences and chat to parents of children already placed in schools about their experiences. You may also want to prioritise schools that are considered feeder facilities for your preferred primary school.

is there a waiting list?

The bad news for new parents is that most urban schools advise putting your child on a preschool list shortly after they are born to ensure that when they turn two or three, they will have

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March 2013

a place. Cape Town parent Julie Buissinne enrolled her two daughters at a popular play centre when they were born to guarantee their spots, and never regretted it. The nurturing environment, security and outdoor area were deciding factors for her.

Stepping Stones Montessori Preschool principal Jenni Petersen advises parents to visit various schools during operating hours. Red flags to alert you against a school include: if the children appear to be unhappy, if they spend most of the visit sitting still or if the space is dirty.

at what age should my toddler go to preschool?

“Generally I’d advise a smaller morning playgroup for children aged two to three years old, and let children start bigger nursery school classes from the age of three to five,” says nurse and midwife Ann Richardson, who is also author of Toddler Sense (Metz Press). This is when children start learning how to socialise in bigger groups, to wait their turn, and to sit quietly in a group. But Richardson cautions that individual situations should be considered. For instance, a younger child with a quiet caregiver whose home environment doesn’t include many other children may benefit from a daycare setting. As a rule, let your child be on the older rather than the younger side. Harris says, “It’s so important for children to have some preschool years experience. But, on the other hand, from Grade 0 or Grade R you’re looking at 13 years of schooling, so there is no hurry.”

is the school registered?

All facilities that offer early childhood development must be registered with the Department of Social Development. This applies to playgroups in private homes, as well as crèches and preschools, where there are more than six children. You can check whether your child’s facility is registered at your local social development office, as well as your local municipal office, library or clinic.

does the school provide a safe, hygienic and educational environment for your child?

All registered daycare facilities must comply with the guidelines set out by the Department of Social Development (see info.gov.za/otherdocs/2006/childhooddev. pdf), or they risk being shut down. These include separate areas for changing and feeding children, adequate toilet and handwashing facilities, sufficient space for children to play and controlled access to the facility. Also ask if there is a well-stocked first aid kit, a sickroom and whether they insist that sick children remain at home?

Joburg mother Georgina Crouth says her toddler’s frequent infections dropped dramatically after they changed crèches midway through the year.

consider your child’s specific needs.

What is the average size of the classes and their teacher to learner ratio?

Do you agree with the way the teachers discipline children? What is the school’s philosophy and does it fit in with your family values? Also find out whether the school accommodates a child with an allergy or special needs.

are the teachers qualified?

Parents are within their rights to check qualifications. Teachers should be qualified in preschool or early childhood development and it’s crucial that the qualification specifies the level and child’s age for which they are trained.

Note that certificates and diplomas vary depending on the institution they studied at. Also enquire about their other skills, such as first aid training.

how much should I be paying?

Whether you choose an all-day crèche, a morning-only playgroup or a preschool where you may also be paying a full-time nanny, the fees do add up.

Some schools require hefty deposits when submitting applications. Fees vary, but the 2013 fees for two year olds attending a five-morning week at sought-after schools surveyed ranged from R19 400 to R30 000 a year. Schools often offer better rates if fees are paid upfront annually, or if you pay per term instead of monthly. If you have more than one child, ask about reduced rates for siblings.

does the preschool include Grade R? Many parents favour preschools where classes follow on to accommodate a child between the ages of five and six. This relieves the pressure of having to find a Grade R spot at a sought-after school. Traditional education preschools offer a government curriculum from the age of three. If you’re considering an independent preschool with, for example, a Waldorf or Montessori approach, ask how they satisfy traditional Grade R educational requirements. A Montessori system regards ages three to six as a continuous cycle, so children are introduced to aspects of Grade R requirements at an earlier age, instead of in a separate year.

don’t forget about the importance of play.

Lindy says parents have a tendency to look for schools that develop children to the nth degree and fill their lives with activities. “But the more I research, the more I realise children need to play freely as often as possible, to find out who they are, and not by filling every minute with things to do,” she says.

Parents should search for schools with an emphasis on developing creativity and imagination. Look for an indoor fantasy or pretend area, and an outdoor play space with sandpits, jungle gyms, vegetable gardens and trees to climb. There should be some new learning happening every week, but in a supportive, nurturing and relaxed environment. magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterstock.com

a

s the director of Flying Children, a Gauteng nongovernmental organisation that trains preschool teachers, Lindy Harris, herself a preschool teacher, believes these early years should be a time of learning. “Neurologists tell us that ignoring or preventing brain development at this time can cause parts of the brain to shut down forever. I believe many children are failing maths from Grades 3 or 4 because they haven’t done educational games, completed puzzles and played with water, sand and blocks as preschoolers,” she says. So, given that some of the most important development happens at this stage, consider the following when choosing a preschool.

parenting

off the record Being privy to your child’s conversations during the school run may offer some important parenting insights, says CHRISTINA CASTLE.

PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

t

he greenies are going to have me drawn and quartered but, despite having a handful of fellow schoolmates who could carpool living metres from our door, we choose to lift our boys to and from school every day. Yes, we have considered just how much petrol we are using on this unnecessary lifting. And yes, we have considered the environment and our ever-increasing carbon footprint. But we will not swap those precious 30 minutes a day in the car for anything. I am more than happy to plant a forest as penance.

Since their first days at school, my husband would take the boys in the morning and I would do the afternoon run home. It’s always been “our” time; irrespective of whether a word is spoken or not, and I have always been fascinated by the dynamics in the car. Dylan, now 15, considered it his quiet space. “How was your day, Dylan?” I would ask the then six year old. “Good,” he would say and that would be all he would utter for the entire 15-minute trip back home. He was digesting his day – be it good or bad – and this safe space was where he could do it; on his own, observed by his mother and sometimes irritated by his younger brother. He needed the quiet and solitude of the car. Only later would he share his day. He’s still the same years later.

magazine pretoria

Alex, now 12, on the other hand, offered an entirely different experience. “How was your day, Alex?” I would ask. “Boring. In break we played soccer and I played goalie and James and Sam and Tom were on my team and Matthew tried to kick three goals and I stopped it three times and James says I am the best goalie at school.

I liked my sandwich today, but I swapped it with Robert’s samosa…” The whole day had been unpacked by the time we arrived home.

Lifting a car full of friends is always an interesting experience, often a health hazard and a great opportunity

to observe a group dynamic. It’s a confined space and you, as the adult driver, are not necessarily considered present, unless of course, you have food to offer.

Needless to say, the conversation is honest; sometimes harsh. It’s easy to establish even in a short trip who’s who in the zoo. The stories flow easily and you may hear more than you sometimes should. I have often caught those uneasy eyes from my sons trying to gauge my response to what’s going on in the back seat.

I’ve rarely had to interject and, more often than not, I’m grateful for the opportunity to be there and be privy to such stimulating conversations of growing boys. I know what TV programmes Simon watches, what James’s older brother has in his cupboard, what Max thinks about Heyneke Meyer’s Springbok team selection, how many books Tim has read this week, why Steven is useless at cricket, how foul Luke’s locker is at school, how Mr P said the “f” word in maths, and who has hair under their arms.

I am privileged, and often also entertained.

That said, I could definitely do without the farting competitions (why is this still such a favourite car game?) and driving them around on rugby training days.

Sometimes, I think we parents who insist on lifting our children deserve danger pay.

March 2013

19

fyi

surf with savvy With a wealth of information just a mouse click away, it’s important that you and your children know how to search responsibly. By BIANCA WRIGHT

S

even-year-old Emily shrieks excitedly, “Mommy, we have to do a project on animals and I want to do mine on giraffes.” I smile as I sit down at the computer. “What should we look up first?” I say, typing in the address for Google. In an age when information is so readily available, it’s almost a given that the starting point for any project will be Google. It’s so easy. Type in what you want and voila – it provides a wealth of information. While finding the facts is easy, there are some challenges.

• Local sites that partner with schools, such as mycyberwall.ltc.co.za, are also a good resource. My Cyberwall, a first in Africa, offers comprehensive curriculum-aligned resources for Grades 4 to 6 for maths, English, natural science and history, as well as games and other activities. A subscription is required.

who said it?

teamwork

a helping hand Talk to your child about the requirements of the project, read the instructions from the teacher and help them brainstorm the

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March 2013

It is the joint responsibility of the school and the parents to instil the ability to effectively use the tools available for online research. types of information needed. A wildlife project in Grade 1 might require simple information about feeding and breeding habits of the selected animal, while a biology project in Grade 8 would require a more in-depth exploration of the topic.

Often the first search result is information from Wikipedia. Be careful about using Wikipedia for school projects as it is a collaborative project among many people, where anyone can create or edit an entry and quite often the information is wrong. Rather opt for reputable sources of information.

Explain to your child that they need to assess the credibility of a source if they want to use it. For example, a website produced by the National Research Foundation would be more credible than a blog entry on thermonuclear physics by a person with no scientific background.

where to go There are thousands of reputable sites aimed directly at children.

• Interested in learning more about chemistry? Try chem4kids.com • Hoping to impress with your in-depth knowledge of mathematics? Wolfram MathWorld, at mathworld.wolfram.com, provides resources on every aspect of the subject.

• Solid local history resources are available at sahistory.org.za • Sites such as kiddyhouse.com and kids.yahoo.com provide a safe resource for teachers, parents and children on a variety of topics.

• A safe search engine for children is askkids.com

points on plagiarism Plagiarism can be a difficult concept for children, and even parents, to understand.

While copying and pasting is certainly a form of plagiarism it isn’t the only one.

Indeed, any use of an idea, image, text or other intellectual property without proper attribution is considered plagiarism. The consequences of plagiarism and the related concept of copyright infringement are severe. Many educators, journalists and authors have lost their jobs and worse, their credibility, as a result of plagiarism.

Similarly, children who plagiarise must face the consequences of their actions.

Most schools have disciplinary codes that spell out the punishment for acts of plagiarism. Epworth Independent School for Girls in Pietermaritzburg publishes a comprehensive policy on plagiarism and lists different levels of punishment depending on the severity of the offence. A first-time offender who uses ideas without attribution, for example, would lose 10 to 20 percent of marks relative to the severity of the plagiarism as well as having to go to detention to rewrite a task. On the other hand, a serial offender who copies an entire assignment word for word faces suspension.

Parents should familiarise themselves with the concepts of plagiarism and copyright infringement before helping with a project. A great resource is Wits University’s LibGuide on Plagiarism, Citation and Referencing Styles lbguides.wits. ac.za/plagiarism_citation_and_referencing. Free plagiarism checkers such as Viper at scanmyessay.com are available online.

magazine pretoria

photograph: shutterstock.com

Make sure your child understands that taking someone else’s work, be it text, images or ideas, is wrong and is the same as stealing a slab of chocolate or a loaf of bread. As with most aspects of a child’s educational development, instilling a sense of fairness and an understanding of the concept of plagiarism, as well as the ability to effectively use the tools available for online research, is jointly the responsibility of the school and the parents.

At Cannons Creek Independent Primary School in Cape Town, for example, internet research is integrated into the curriculum from as early as Grade 2 and the teachers engage parents in the process from the beginning. The complexity of requirements increases with each grade. Principal Carol Booth explains that in Grade 2 the instructions for a project are sent to parents in a letter. “They help the pupils find the information,” she says. In Grades 3, 4 and 5, the teacher provides the names of websites to use; this list is also given to the parents. By Grade 6, the teacher will suggest websites that are appropriate for them to use. They need to record these in their bibliography. The approach in Grade 7 is to first discuss the topic in class. The teacher suggests various websites or other sources and the learners must reference them as their sources in a bibliography. “Computer lessons cover finding information by using various search engines and how to discard or ignore unwanted information and the procedure when referencing,” says Booth.

Once your child has collected the information it must be rewritten in their own words and attributed. There are many different ways to reference information.

Most commonly the surname and year of publication are put in round brackets after the information. If a direct quote is used, then the information must be in inverted commas. A bibliography or reference list at the end of the project should include the author’s name, date of publication, the title of the text cited, the journal or magazine it was published in (if applicable) and the page numbers. If it is an online source, include the URL as well.

Getting your child into the habit of using the internet effectively, responsibly and fairly early on will benefit them throughout their education. The internet is a goldmine of information, but finding facts that are credible and reliable, and using them correctly, is a skill that must be learnt.

getaway

happy travels The secret to surviving a family road trip is to make the journey as much fun as the destination, says LYNNE O’CONNOR.

PHOTOGRAPHs: shutterSTOCK.COM

i

’ve come to realise that I’m not supposed to travel long distances.

I love the destinations; it’s getting there that’s the problem. And when I have to entertain three children between the ages of five and 13 for several hours, with my husband threatening to drop them off on the side of the N3, it’s even more tiresome.

The trick, as I’ve learnt over the years, is to get an early start. That way the children will hopefully sleep for the first hour or two and I won’t have to entertain them. There’s nothing more pleasing than climbing into the car before sunrise with three sleepy children in the back, including one very grouchy teenager for whom anything earlier than 9am is ungodly, a flask of coffee and some muffins and the radio playing quietly as we begin our journey, waving goodbye to the city.

magazine pretoria

The second trick is to travel as though we live in our car. I’ve long stopped being embarrassed about the paraphernalia that emerges as I trip out of the car when we make a petrol stop. The children’s travel survival kit includes toys, gadgets, a portable DVD player, books and snacks, and you can usually find an assortment of these stuffed between the seats and on the floor.

But the best entertainment is the kind that we make up as we go along. The windmill game remains a firm favourite in the O’Connor car. My husband isn’t so fond of it, as every windmill sighting elicits a heart-stopping shriek from the back. Car Bingo is also lots of fun. The aim is for the children to spot a variety of cars that they’ve put onto a list on my eldest son’s cellphone.

We also have sing-alongs to my husband’s collection of ’70s and ’80s CDs. I have no doubt that when my children are older,

they’ll have fond memories of our holidays when they hear a Neil Diamond song.

On a recent trip to Sun City my children, who were clearly bored, decided to see who could keep their arms in the air the longest. The looks that we got from people in passing cars were priceless. The children howled with laughter every time one of them dared to lower a limb. Needless to say, we arrived at our destination with three pairs of very tired arms.

As any parent with more than one child knows, even the most eventful car trips are seldom harmonious and fight-

free. Refrains of “Mom, Ciaran’s stinky toe is touching my arm,” and “Mom, Ava is looking at me” will be heard at some point.

To solve the fighting, we play the quiet game. The child who keeps quiet the longest; without making any huffing, puffing, sighing, giggling or other noises; is the winner and gets to choose the treats that we buy at the next stop.

No, I definitely don’t travel well, but the squeals of excitement at our first glimpse of the sea make the trip worth it. Not to mention that first sighting of the city skyline that signals that we’re home.

March 2013

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resource

2

R104

Olifantsnek Dam

Olifantsnek

Buffelspoort

Hartbeespoort

R512

R104

R104

Hartbeespoort Dam R27 N4

R560

Buffelspoort Dam

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R560

one for the road

5

R24

R560

Hekpoort R24

Discover the magic of the Magalies Meander or plan a seasonal getaway. By SIMONE JEFFERY

Attraction The Opdiebaal Festival in September is a celebration of art, food, lifestyle and music. Visit opdiebaal.co.za

Magaliesburg

4

Cradle of Humankind World Heritage Site

Attraction Visit Tan’ Malie se Winkel for novelty goods, home-made milk tart, fresh bread and preserves. Contact: 012 253 0778

Attraction More than 600 wines are on offer at the Cellar Rats Port and Red Wine Festival on 26 May. Visit winefestival.co.za

Buffelspoort

Olifantsnek

Magaliesburg

Expect to see the Magaliesberg and Witwatersberg ranges.

Best in the summer months when the sluice gates are open.

Best spot to overnight The Elephant Sanctuary. Contact: 012 258 0423, elephantsanctuary@mweb.co.za or visit elephantsanctuary.co.za Breakfast at The Windmill, a Dutch-style windmill with an in- and outdoor dining area. Contact: 012 259 0955, imman@mweb.co.za or visit thewindmillharties.co.za Lunch at La Dolce Vita Kosmos offers a four-course Sunday lunch.

Contact: 012 253 5949 or visit ladolcevitaguesthouse.co.za Dinner at Squires on the Dam with views of the dam. Contact: 012 253 1001 or visit squiresonthedam.co.za To get there from Pretoria 59km – 58 minutes

Expect to see the wealthiest platinum mines in South Africa.

Best in the summer months when the rock pools lure you in for a dip.

Best spot to overnight is the Mamagalie Mountain Lodge. The lodge overlooks the Buffelspoort Dam. Contact: 084 513 9480 or visit mamagalie.co.za Breakfast at the Mountain Sanctuary Park. Pack a picnic or a braai. Contact: 014 534 0114 or visit mountain-sanctuary.co.za Lunch at ATKV Buffelspoort, a self-catering holiday resort.

Contact: 014 572 1000 or visit buffelspoort.co.za Dine at the Sparkling Waters Hotel and Spa. Contact: 014 535 0000 or visit sparklingwaters.co.za To get there from Hartbeespoort 53km – 47 minutes

Expect to see the Olifantsnek Dam on the Hex River.

Best in spring when it’s cooler.

Best spot to overnight Hunter’s Rest Mountain Resort offers a Sunday buffet and game drives.

Contact: 014 537 8300 or visit huntersresthotel.co.za Breakfast at Western Cane Trading for light meals in the Rose Garden. Contact: 014 577 1361 or visit westcane.co.za Lunch at Askari Game Lodge and Spa. Watch the elephants play in the dam. Contact: 014 577 2658/9 or visit askarilodge.co.za Dine at Brauhaus am Damm, a family eatery on the banks of the Olifantsnek Dam. Contact: 087 802 5519 or visit brauhaus.co.za To get there from Buffelspoort 28,9km – 27 minutes

Expect to see a small town in the North West Province.

Best in the summer months when the vegetation is lush.

Best spot to overnight Magalies River Lodge and Bush Camp and sleep in the tented chalets.

Contact: 074 168 3320, 071 348 9644 magaliesrl@mweb.co.za or visit magaliesriverlodge.co.za Breakfast at Garden Café at Na-Na-Be Guest Farm for a freshly cooked meal, home-made ginger beer and preserves. Contact: 082 291 5301 or mail@exray.co.za Lunch at The Goblin’s Cove is haven for pixies, goblins and fairies. Children can play in the magical garden. Contact: 014 576 2143, goblins@worldonline.co.za or visit thegoblinscove.co.za Dine at The Black Horse, a brewery and restaurant with seating under wild olive trees. Contact: 082 453 5295 or visit blackhorse.co.za To get there from Olifantsnek 43,2km – 34 minutes

Expect to see working farms that grow vegetables and flowers, as well as dairy and chicken farms.

Best in the summer months when the land is green and strawberries can be picked from Tangaroa Strawberry Farm.

Best spot to overnight Glen Afric Country Lodge where you stay in a tented camp. Contact: 012 205 1402 or visit glenafric.co.za Breakfast at Van Gaalen’s Cheese Farm, where you can also mountain bike. Contact: 012 207 1289 or visit vangaalen.co.za Lunch at Hollybrooke Farm’s coffee shop before taking a short horse ride. Contact: 082 552 1285 or visit hollybrooke.co.za Dinner at Die Ou Pastorie with its Italian-South African fusion menu. Contact: 012 207 1027 or visit die-oupastorie.co.za To get there from Magaliesburg 19km – 18 minutes

March 2013

PHOTOGRAPH: KEN HAMILTON

Hartbeespoort

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magazine pretoria

books

a good read for preschoolers

for early graders

for preteens and teens

for toddlers

a fant astic adven ture

George flies South

By Simon James (Published by Walker Books, R108) This is an inspirational story, for children from the age of three, about a little bird that loses his nest, but finds his wings. Winter is on the way and it’s time to fly south. George isn’t quite ready to leave his nest yet, but when an enormous gust of wind blows it out of the tree, things start to get really interesting. This is an outstanding, gentle and reassuring tale charmingly told and illustrated by the award-winning picture book creator who also brought you Baby Brains, Dear Greenpeace, Sally and the Limpet and Little One Step.

Ben and the Whales – The Extraordinary Journey

By Ingrid Mennen and Irene Berg (Published by Tafelberg Publishers, R130) Whales played in the ocean below the cliff paths where Ben and Grandpa had often walked. The windswept milkwood was their lookout. “Mysterious and magnificent creatures,” Grandpa would say, “flying giants of the sea!” Together they read stories about whales, made new pages for Grandpa’s scrapbook, or went to the museum to see the whale skeleton. But just before summer things changed: Grandpa became sick and then died. Noticing that Ben finds it hard to say goodbye, Dad takes him to the milkwood, and tells him a story. This gentle tale of bereavement will strike a chord with both children and adults alike.

for us A Chimpanzee in the Wine Cellar

By Pat Cavendish O’Neill (Published by Jonathan Ball Publishers, R180) In 1968, Pat Cavendish O’Neill reluctantly left her magical years in Kenya behind to join her mother in Somerset West, South Africa. As always, the women attracted a colourful international audience into their extremely lavish lifestyle. Pat’s fierce love of animals resulted in her opening heart and home to a variety of creatures, from monkeys to a pack of 17 dogs. But a rescued chimp, Kalu found his way deepest into her heart. For over 40 years Pat and Kalu have lived together and the one without the other is a picture incomplete. This book is rich in anecdotes that will make you laugh and cry.

magazine pretoria

Captain Underpants and the Terrifying Return of Tippy Tinkletrousers

By Dav Pilkey

The History Keepers – Circus Maximus

By Damian Dibben

(Published by Scholastic Inc., R109) The Captain Underpants books have been been called the book that will get any child who never wanted to read, interested in the world of words. When we last saw George and Harold, they were headed to jail for the rest of their lives, where they are pulled from prison by a time-travelling tyrant named Tippy Tinkletrousers? Now they are taking a trip back in time to their kindergarten days, when the scariest thing they had to face was not evil mad scientists, but a bully named Kipper Krupp. And because George and Harold don’t invent Captain Underpants until they’re in Grade 4, the clever kindergartners are on their own.

(Published by Random House Struik, R167) This is the second book in the explosive The History Keepers series and it’s time for a new hero. The History Keepers are in terrible danger. Stocks of Atomium, the crucial ingredient that allows them to travel through time, are perilously low, and the agents must embark on a risky mission to find more. An even more evil member of the Zeldt family is planning a hideous take-over of the ancient world, and they are forced to travel further back into history than ever before in order to save the day.

The History Keepers embark on another rollercoaster adventure that takes them into the heart of the ancient world, from the doors to Hades, to the streets of Rome.

parenting books A Brand-New Child in 5 easy steps

By Andalene Salvesen (Published by Struik Inspirational, R139,99) If you are struggling with your children and want to be a better parent, this book could help. It is inspired by the results which “Super Granny” Andalene Salvesen has gained from her home visits around the world, and shows that your child only changes when you become an empowered parent. Children are not born with boundaries and parents are often ill-equipped to enforce appropriate house rules. This book helps parents to regain their authority so that children can once again just be children. It guides parents to choose creative ideas for discipline thereby eliminating today’s epidemic of shouting and guilt-based parenting. Andalene covers all the childhood phases, from tots to teenagers, dealing with appropriate consequences for anything from tantrums to silent defiance.

March 2013

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calendar

You can also access the calendar online at

what’s on in march

childmag.co.za

Find out what’s happening in and around your city.

Compiled by SIMONE JEFFERY

9 sat

special events

25

FUN for children

26

only for parents

27

bump, baby & tot in tow

28

how to help

28

SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Soul Space Art Club Paint a picture, bake a cake or create a puppet during a morning of creative fun.

Swing for a deaf child Enter the annual golf day in aid of Transoranje School for the Deaf.

Pienkvoet-Pret workshops Relaxing workshops enable parents to bond and stimulate their little ones.

New Beginningz This home situated in Laudium is equipped to care for abandoned babies.

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March 2013

magazine pretoria

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Walk for Woofs Enjoy an early morning walk around a beautiful monument, with or without your dog.

SPECIAL EVENTS 2 saturday Cansa Shavathon Show solidarity with cancer patients and survivors by opting to have your head shaved or hair sprayed a funky colour. Time: varies. Venue: shopping malls across Gauteng. Cost: adults R50, children R25. Contact Tarryn: 011 648 0990, thuman@cansa.org.za or visit shavathon.org.za

7 thursday ASG Night Rider MTB Series A fun mountain bike race held at night. Children can compete in the 5km race, while the adult’s race is 21km. There is a sandpit, jungle gym and trampoline for the children, as well as a bonfire around which you can enjoy food and drinks. The main race starts at 8pm. Space is limited. For children 5 years and older. Time: 6pm.

Venue: Rosemary Hill, N4 East, exit 18, plot 257 Mooiplaats, Boschkop. Cost: adults R120, children R30. Contact Karla: karla@ asgworld.co.za or visit asgevents.co.za

9 saturday Evening fun walk A jolly 5km walk inside the National Zoo followed by a bring-andbraai at the Flamingo Restaurant. Fires are provided. Everyone receives a medal of the Koala at the end of the walk. The walk starts at 6:30pm. Time: 6pm. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St,

Walk for woofs Enjoy an early morning walk around this beautiful monument, with or without your dogs, in support of the Tshwane SPCA. Time: registration 7am, race starts 8am. Venue: Sammy Marks Museum, off the R104 Old Bronkhorstspruit Rd, near Savannah Country Estate.

Cost: R10 per person; R10 per dog. Contact Korky: 012 803 5219, admin @ spcapta.org.za or visit spcapta.org.za

magazine pretoria

Pretoria Central. Cost: adults R40, children R25. Contact Lettie: 012 323 0294, 084 740 6386 (9am–2pm, Tuesday–Thursday) or visit nzg.ac.za

16 saturday Cansa Relay for Life Gather your family and a group of friends and commit to keeping at least one member of your team on the track throughout the night. Ends 17 March. Time: 4pm–6am. Venue: Pretoria Military Sports Club, Thaba Tshwane. Cost: R500 per team of 10–15 members. Contact Jean: 082 572 4475, jean@maxprof.co.za or visit cansa.org.za Princess Rosebud Festival Enter your child to become the next rose ambassador for Ludwig’s Roses or simply enjoy the festivities. Children go on the procession of roses, pot their own roses, arrange them and more. For children 5–11 years old. Time: 8am–12pm. Venue: Ludwig’s Rose Farm, 61 Haakdoornlaagte, take the N1 Polokwane highway, Wallmannstahl/ Pyramid off-ramp. Cost: R100. Contact: 012 544 0144, talkingroses@ludwigsroses. co.za or visit ludwigsroses.co.za Zoo fun walk Join an early 5km walk around a few of the animal enclosures inside the zoo. The medal of the day is the Clownfish, Nemo. All ages. Time: 6am, walk starts 6:30am. Venue: National Zoological Gardens, 232 Boom St, Pretoria. Cost: adults R40, children R25. Contact Lettie: 012 323 0294, info@friendsofthezoo.co.za or visit nzg.ac.za

9 sat

31 March – Easter eggs among the thorns

20 wednesday

27 wednesday

World Theatre Day Refer to “Fun for children, on stage and screen” for a list of current productions to celebrate the day.

The ASSITEJ (the International Association of Theatre for Children and Young People) campaign aims to promote the value of theatre in the lives of youngsters around the world. You are able to contribute towards the campaign by smsing “Theatre4Youth” to 38490 and donating R10 to the cause.

Contact Themba: 021 822 0070/1/2, theatre4youthgauteng@assitej.org.za or visit assitej.org.za

Park Acoustics Enjoy an afternoon of South African music with a view of Joburg and Pretoria. There are generally three to four bands that perform at each gig. Time: 11am. Venue: Voortrekker Monument, Eeufees Rd, Groenkloof. Cost: R60–R100.

Book through Ticketbreak: 012 327 6601, 012 326 0560, parkacoustics@gmail.com or visit ticketbreak.co.za

21 thursday Landy Festival An action-packed weekend incorporating an expo of Land Rovers, an experts lounge, and related services and accessories. Spend the night camping on the reserve and show off your culinary skills in the potjie cook-off. There is a pool, children’s paddle pool and snack stalls. Ends 24 March. Time: 9am–5:30pm.

Venue: Malonjeni Game Farm, R42 between Vereeniging and Heidelberg, Vaal Triangle.

Cost: adults R40, children R15. Contact: 016 424 5932, admin@landyfestival.co.za or visit landyfestival.co.za

23 saturday Earth Hour Join hundreds of millions of people across the globe in turning off your lights for one hour and take a stand against climate change. Time: 8:30pm. For more info: visit earthhour.org

30 saturday Art in the Park An open-air art gallery held in the park on the last Saturday of every month. Meet the artists who have toiled to produce the pieces of art and sculptures in various mediums. Time: 9am–5pm.

Venue: Magnolia Dell, cnr Charles St and University Rd, Baileys Muckleneuk. Cost: free entry. Contact Hannes: 071 676 3600, info@art-in-the-park.co.za or visit art-inthe-park.co.za

31 sunday Easter eggs among the thorns The Easter bunny has hidden marshmallow eggs and various other items among the rose bushes.

Search for these items and exchange them for a chocolate bunny or sweet hamper.

Bookings essential. For children 1–12 years old. Time: 8am–12pm. Venue: Ludwig’s Rose Farm, 61 Haakdoornlaagte, take the N1 to Polokwane, Wallmannstahl/Pyramid off-ramp. Cost: R115 per child. Contact: 012 544 0144, talkingroses@ludwigsroses.co.za or visit ludwigsroses.co.za

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calendar

Abseiling and caving adventure

Easter eggs and quad bikes Find the elusive golden egg during this morning’s Easter egg hunt and win three victory laps around the track. For children 4–12 years old. Time: 10am–5pm. Venue: Zwartkops Raceway, off the R55, between Erasmia and Centurion, Pretoria West. Cost: Easter egg hunt free, R12 per lap; gazebo or braai area R250. Contact Linky: 012 323 1932, 082 688 6046, bookings@quadrides.co.za or visit quadrides.co.za

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science Hartebeesthoek Radio Astronomy Take a tour of this working observatory and learn more about radio astronomy and the Space Geodesy research currently being conducted there. Space is limited. 16 March. Time: 4pm–8pm. Venue: HartRAO, farm 502 JQ Hartebeesthoek, Broedestroom Rd, Krugersdorp. Cost: adults R45, students and pensioners R35, preschool children free. Contact: 012 301 3100, info@hartrao. ac.za or visit hartrao.ac.za Samsara – Journey of the Soul Up-andcoming artist Poorvi Bhana is exhibiting at the National Museum of Cultural History towards obtaining her Masters in Fine Art. Her work, mostly in clay or glass, is simple, attractive, small and delicate, usually monochrome, and frequently features brightly coloured pigments. 17 February–2 March. Time: 8am–4pm, daily.

Venue: The National Museum of Cultural History, 149 Visagie St, Pretoria Central.

Cost: R25. Contact Poorvi: 071 881 9610, pb.samsara@gmail.com or visit tut.ac.za

21 March–8 April – Trout fishing clinic

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March 2013

classes, talks and workshops Learning to love me Many children lack a feeling of love and respect for themselves.

They measure their worth according to the clothes they wear or the toys they play with. This workshop helps to boost selfesteem by creating an unconditional belief in the self through looking at personal strengths and weaknesses. 21 March. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: The Pretoria East Life Studio, 319 Acornhoek St, Faerie Glen.

Cost: R450. Contact Michelle: 079 162 6465 or visit equalzeal.com Little Adventurers Your little adventurers are eager to explore and learn what life is all about. Examine the amazing world of fire fighters, police adventures and choochoo trains with Lego and learn through role play. Booking essential. For children 4–6 years old. 21 March–6 April. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Toys Adventures, Irene Village Mall, cnr Nellmapius Dr and Van Ryneveld Dr, Irene. Cost: R55. Contact Margerie or Jaco: 012 662 0818 Robo Adventurers The Lego Mindstorms system introduces students to robotics and programming in a practical way. Children develop programming logic and problemsolving skills while they work as a team.

Booking essential. For children 9 years and older. 21 March–6 April. Time: 9am–5pm.

Venue: Toys Adventures, Irene Village Mall, cnr Nellmapius Dr and Van Ryneveld Dr, Irene. Cost: R100. Contact Margerie or Jaco: 012 662 0818.

Sibling success workshop Does constant fighting, bickering and complaining of unfairness happen often at home? Give them the skills to form a better relationship by learning to communicate with each

other in a more favourable way. 2 March.

Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: The Pretoria East Life Studio, 319 Acornhoek St, Faerie Glen.

Cost: R350. Contact Michelle: 079 162 6465 or visit equalzeal.com Stress management Children learn that stress can make you feel upset, tense or worried and, through different activities, they discover how to manage it effectively.

Booking essential. 9–10 March. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm. Venue: 422 Trevor Gething St, Faerie Glen. Cost: R300 per child, R150 per joining sibling or parent.

Contact Caryn: 082 602 7689 or info@ gowiththeflow.co.za Young Adventurers Children build models with Lego using spinning propellers, swings or bridges. Booking essential. For children 7 years and older.

21 March–6 April. Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Toys Adventures at Irene Village Mall, cnr Nellmapius Dr and Van Ryneveld Dr, Irene. Cost: R85. Contact Margerie or Jaco: 012 662 0818

family outings Picnic in the park Put together a picnic hamper of all your favourite treats and enjoy a day of relaxation in the park. Cedar Junction offers walking and mountain bike trails, train trips, peddle boats on the lake, a swimming pool and slide. Time: 8am–5pm, every Sunday. Venue: Cedar Junction, off the M6, Shere. Cost: R20 entry. Contact Elize: 012 811 1183 or visit cedarjunction.co.za The Lost City Maze A recent addition to the myriad of activities at The Lost City is the 2 420m2 maze constructed from artificial rock, stone and wood that is connected to the Entertainment Centre with a 100m suspension bridge. Time: 9am–10pm, daily. Venue: Sun City Resort, North West. Cost: entry: R50 per person; Valley of Waves: adults R120, children R70. Contact: 014 577 1000 or visit suninternational.com

finding nature and outdoor play Abseiling and caving adventure Get togged up in overalls, helmets and torches and abseil in through the roof of a wild cavern before enjoying an adventure by torchlight. Bookings essential. Time: 11am and 2pm, daily. Venue: meet at EnGedi Lodge, plot 22, Protea Ridge Rd, Kromdraai, Krugersdorp. Cost: adults R300, children R220. Contact Sandy: 011 956 6197, 082 486 2464, info@wildcaves.co.za or visit wildcaves.co.za

holiday programme Theatre Bugs Participants are taught various acting skills including voice production, voice projection and mime.

For children 6 years and older. 2 and 16 March. Time: Grade 0–3, 2pm–2:45pm; Grade 4–6, 2:15pm–3:10pm; Grade 7 upwards, 3:15pm–4:15pm. Venue: The Moonbox at the Guide Facility Hut, cnr Bruce Rd and Krige Lane, Irene, Centurion.

Cost: registration fee R150; R680 for halfyear (January–June). Contact Clive: 084 804 0490, tshwaneyouththeatre@gmail. com or visit pytheatre.co.za

21 thu

Soul Space Art Club Drop the children off for a morning of creative fun. They paint a picture, bake a cake, create their own puppets and put on a show.

Bookings essential. 21 March– 4 May. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm, daily. Venue: Soul Space, 78 Murray St, Brooklyn. Cost: R300.

Contact Caryn: 074 118 9184

Trout fishing clinic Sign up for a fun, interactive introduction to fly fishing. A catch-and-release policy is encouraged.

The two-and-a-half hour clinic starts at 8am or 9am, leaving the rest of the day free for you to enjoy by the dam and river.

Bookings are essential. 21 March–8 April.

Time: 6am–6pm. Venue: Magalies Barbus Haven, Steenkoppies, Old Rustenburg Rd, Magaliesburg. Cost: adults R250, teenagers R200, children R150, rod hire R75. Contact: 011 315 4503, sundowncorporate@gmail. com or visit facebook.com/MBHFlyfishing

markets Hazel Food Market Tempt your palate with the likes of LêKa Bêk Cheese Spreads, Minkie’s cupcakes, pomegranate dressing from the Elbows Up Deli and a selection of freshly baked muffins from the Baker Boys, to name a few. Time: 8am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Mackenzie St and 13th St, Menlo Park. Cost: free entry. Contact: 083 554 5636, info@hazelfoodmarket.co.za or visit hazelfoodmarket.co.za Klip Klap Market This market is known for its art and antiques. It’s in a tranquil setting on the edge of Pretoria East. Visitors can also find interesting books, lovely jewellery and much more. 17 March. Time: 9am–3pm.

Venue: 78A Leander St, Olympus, Pretoria East. Cost: free entry. Contact Chris: 082 755 0586 or visit klipklap.co.za The Fig Platter Market A food and craft market with a jumping castle keeps all ages entertained. Time: 9am–2pm, every Saturday. Venue: Wekker St, near The Village Shopping Centre, Moreleta Park.

Cost: free entry. Contact: 082 647 4642

on stage and screen Cirque du Soleil: Dralion A spectacular performance fuses the 3 000-year-old tradition of Chinese acrobatic arts with the magazine pretoria

multidisciplinary approach of Cirque du Soleil. Dralion draws its inspiration from Eastern philosophy and its quest for harmony between humans and nature. 21–24 March.

Time: 8pm, Thursday–Saturday; 4pm, Saturday; 1pm and 5pm, Sunday. Venue: Coca-Cola Dome, cnr Northumberland Rd and Olievenhout Ave, Northriding. Cost: R340–R515. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit computicket.com Cirque Du Soleil: Worlds Away 3D This 3D film features artistic and acrobatic performances from some of the most elaborate Cirque du Soleil productions. It’s produced by James Cameron. 1 March.

Time: varies. Venue: cinemas nationwide.

Cost: varies per cinema. Contact: 0861 246 362 or visit numetro.co.za DreamWorks Dragons: Riders of Berk premieres The series follows the continuing adventures of Hiccup and his dragon Toothless, on the Viking island of Berk. The show starts on Tuesday 5 March at 5:25pm on Cartoon Network, DStv channel 301 and continues, thereafter, every Tuesday with repeats on Wednesday at 7am, Monday at 7am and 5:25pm, and Saturday and Sunday at 10am and 2:35pm Kid’s Choice Awards The only award show that gives children the power to vote for their favourites in film, television, music and sports. 27 March. Time: 5:45pm, on Nickelodeon, channel 305 on DStv. For more info: visit dstv.com Tjokker and Sonja Herholdt Sonja and her fluffy dog, Tjokker, visit and play nicely with all the other children. They happily sing songs from their CD and Tjokker entertains everyone with his tricks. The performance is in Afrikaans. For children 1–8 years old. 23 March. Time: 11am.

Venue: Centurion Theatre, 123 Amcor Rd, Lyttelton Manor, Centurion. Cost: R70.

Book through Centurion Theatre: 012 664 7859 or visit centurionteater.co.za

playtime and story time Reading hour Have fun listening to a story and then take part in a craft activity.

Booking essential. For children 2–4 years old. Time: 10am–11am, every Wednesday.

Venue: Soul Space, 78 Murray St, Brooklyn.

Cost: R400 per month. Contact Caryn: 074 118 9184 or visit mysoulspace.co.za

21–23 March – Oils and acrylics

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sport and physical activities Can you Survive or Race? Take part in your own reality show and challenge your friends to see who is the ultimate Survivor or Amazing Race contestant.

Swimming pools and braai facilities are available. Booking essential. For children 6 years and older. Time: 9am, 12pm or 3pm, Saturday–Sunday. Venue: Pelindaba, Hartbeesport Dam. Cost: adults R220, children R165. Contact Debbie: 082 895 2513, admin@surviveorrace.co.za or visit surviveorrace.co.za Go speed racer! Come rain or shine your children can put the pedal to the metal at this indoor go-karting track. There are several restaurants close by to grab a bite to eat. Enquire about competitions. Time: 10am–4pm, daily. Venue: K1 Racing, upper level of undercover parking, Kolonnade Shopping Centre, cnr Dr Van der Merwe St and Zambesi Dr, Montana Park. Cost: from R60 for 10 laps. Contact: 082 929 0411, success4u-2@absamail.co.za or visit k1racing.co.za

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Art in the afternoon Discover a hidden talent, start a new hobby or just make some time for yourself to de-stress. Art classes are in painting, drawing, decoupage and mosaic. Time: 2:30pm–4:30pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Soul Space, 78 Murray St, Brooklyn. Cost: varies. Contact Caryn: 074 118 9184 or visit mysoulspace.co.za Beading for beginners Get some guidance and inspiration from the instructors at Bead Some More, who teach you the basics about beading. 9 March.

Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Bead Some More, 402 Mendelsohn St, Waterkloof Glen. Cost: R190, includes all materials.

Contact: 012 998 8577, 083 979 6668 or beadsomemore@gmail.com Oils and acrylics Learn all about the colour wheel, how to mix paint and how to identify perspectives during a three-day course with Neil Moss. 21–23 March. Time: 9am–4pm. Venue: 377 Rupert St, Brooklyn.

Cost: R1 900, includes all art materials, lunch and refreshments. Contact Neil: 083 306 1635, neilmoss@mweb.co.za or visit neilmoss.co.za Sonic meditation group Release the pent-up stress of the week and replace it with a deep relaxation, achieved through meditation that is enriched by sounds created with singing bowls, drums, bells and chimes. Booking essential. 3 March.

Time: 9:30am–11:30am. Venue: South African Centre for Sound Therapy, Meerhof, Hartbeespoort Dam. Cost: R150. Contact Wilna: 071 682 2548, wilna@soundtherapy. co.za or visit soundtherapy.co.za The Scotson Technique UK Practical tutorials in The Scotson Technique empower parents of children with cerebral palsy and autism to improve their children’s development and general health. The younger the child is, the more effective the therapy is, but it is applicable to all ages. Space is limited. 20–28 March.

Time: 9am–5pm. Venue: Benoni and March 2013

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calendar Mannekoor as well as the Cenestra Male Choir and Organ for an afternoon of soulful singing. 31 March. Time: 3pm. Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison Rd and 13th St, Menlo Park. Cost: R105–R120. Contact: 012 460 6033 or visit brooklyntheatre.co.za Yossi Reshef Brilliant Israeli international concert pianist Yossi Reshef treats you to the classical melodies of Schumann, Beethoven, Chopin and Granados. 10 March. Time: 3pm. Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison Rd and 13th St, Menlo Park.

Cost: R85–R120. Contact: 012 460 6033 or visit brooklyntheatre.co.za

out and about 15 March – Mathys Roets at Centurion Theatre

Sandton. Cost: R2 000–R4 000. Contact Adi: 082 854 1300, scotsontechniquesa@ gmail.com or visit scotsontechnique.com

on stage and screen Gypsy and Tango in Vienna An evening of popular café music (tango, waltz and polka) from a Vienna String Quartet, led by Adrian Ignat. 15 and 17 March.

Time: 8pm, Friday; 3pm, Sunday. Venue: Brooklyn Theatre, Greenlyn Village Centre, cnr Thomas Edison Rd and 13th St, Menlo Park. Cost: R130–R150. Contact: 012 460 6033 or visit brooklyntheatre.co.za Mathys Roets The talented Mathys Roets performs his interpretations of the world’s most beautiful ballads. No children under 3 years old. 15 March. Time: 8pm. Venue: Centurion Theatre, 123 Amcor Rd, Lyttelton Manor, Centurion. Cost: R130. Contact: 012 664 7859 or visit centurionteater.co.za Pergolesi’s Stabat Mater Celebrate Easter with BTE VO1SS and Pergolesi’s Stabat Mater, accompanied by two forte vocalists, Caroline Nkwe and Annemarie Steenkamp.

17 March. Time: 11am–12pm. Venue: Drama Theatre at The State Theatre, 301 Church St, Pretoria Central. Cost: adults R90, pensioners and children R65. Contact Madeleen: 012 322 7944, madeleen@ vo1ss.co.za or visit vo1ss.co.za Songs of Praise Conductor Richard Cock leads the way with the Randburg

New Beginningz home for abandoned babies

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Open day at Crawford Schools Enjoy a guided tour of the school and meet the teachers. For children from Grade 000–12. 6 March. Time: preprimary and preparatory, 9am–2:30pm; college, 3:30pm–7pm. Venue: Crawford Schools, 555 Sibelius St, Lukasrand. Cost: free. Contact: 012 344 1886 or visit crawfordschools.co.za Open day at Kleuterpret Nursery School The children are entertained while you learn more about the nursery school and view the facilities. For children 4 months– 5 years old. 1 March. Time: 10am–2pm.

Venue: 110 River Ave, Lyttleton Manor, Centurion. Cost: free. Contact: 078 877 7543 or kleuterpret@yahoo.co.za Open day at Tyger Valley College Learn more about what this school has to offer. The college is an independent, coeducational school for children from Grade 000–12. 16 March. Time: 9am–12pm. Venue: Tyger Valley College, cnr Graham Rd and Valley Dr, Shere.

Cost: free. Contact Lauren: 012 809 2879, lmcnocher@tygervalleycollege.co.za or visit tygervalleycollege.co.za Swing for a deaf child Enter the Transoranje School for the Deaf’s annual golf day fundraiser. The school provides education to 200 deaf learners 15 years and older and cares for 110 learners in their hostel. 7 March. Time: 10am–9pm. Venue: Pretoria Golf Club, Morkel St, Pretoria West.

Cost: R300 per player, R1 200 per four-ball.

Contact: 012 386 6072/5, transoranje3@ gmail.com or visit transoranje.webs.com

support groups Epilepsy SA Provides counselling and support for people with epilepsy. Contact: 0860 EPILEPSY, info@epilepsy.org.za or visit epilepsy.org.za Pretoria Adoption Support Group (PASG) The group offers support to individuals and couples considering adoption (mixed-race families, single parents, gay parents or any other family), as well as those who have already adopted.

3 March. Time: 1pm–3pm. Venue: Willow Feather Farm, portion 37, Doornkloof, Irene. Cost: R10 entry. Contact Michelle: 072 698 9991 or pretoriaasg@yahoo.com

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Parent-child workshops Learn how to do baby sign language through music and movement in a fun, stimulating playgroup setting and collect a full kit of 50 signing picture cards, five books and five songs.

Booking essential. For parents of children 6–18 months. Time: 8:30am–12pm, every Friday and Saturday. Venue: Centurion.

Cost: R850, includes all materials. Contact Loren: 012 665 2878, 072 239 8498, info@ wecantalk.co.za or visit wecantalk.co.za Pienkvoet-Pret A relaxing workshop enables parents to bond with their little ones as they stimulate their baby’s gross and fine motor skills, and take part in sensory awareness, perceptual and intellectual activities, and develop social behaviour. For babies 3 months–3 years old. Time: varies. Venues: across Pretoria.

Cost: R360 per month. Contact Anelia at the head office: 082 214 1987 or visit pienkvoetpret.co.za

playtime and story time Menlyn Play Park There are bike tracks, climbing frames, a Wendy house and much more. Time: 10am–6pm, Sunday–Friday; 9am–6pm, Saturday.

Venue: Menlyn Park, cnr Atterbury Rd and Lois St, Menlyn. Cost: R10 out of season, R20 in season. Contact: 012 348 8766 or visit menlynpark.co.za

support groups Down Syndrome Association Offers support for adults and children with Down’s syndrome through early intervention, advice in schooling, and the Jeans and Tekkies Teenage Club – a social club for young adults to gain social independence. Contact Ancella: 012 664 8928 (7:30am–2:30pm, Monday– Friday), ancella@downs.org.za or visit downsyndromepretoria.co.za Little Miracle products and services They offer specialised, premature baby products as well as an emotional support service to the parents of premature babies.

Venue: 1 242 Haarhoff St East, Môregloed, Pretoria. Contact: 0861 548 853 or info@ littlemiracle.co.za Stork’s Nest Join their antenatal and postnatal classes and support courses. They also offer immunisations, weighing and measuring. Contact: 0861 665 665 or visit storksnest.co.za

Preggi Bellies Doctors, physiotherapists and specialised instructors guide women at each stage of pregnancy through carefully constructed exercises. Time: varies. Venues: classes in Bedfordview, Parkmore, Craighall, Fourways and Melrose.

Cost: R100–R116. Contact: 0860 723 559 or visit preggibellies.co.za

how to help National Easter egg hunt Schools are encouraged to host an Easter egg hunt to raise funds for Cotlands, a sanctuary for orphaned and vulnerable children. 18–28 March. Cost: the school determines the entry fee. Contact Kelsley: 011 683 7200, kelsley@cotlands.org or visit cotlands.org New Beginningz This home cares for abandoned babies. You can assist with the upgrade of their kitchen and dining rooms, or by donating nappies and winter clothes and shoes. Venue: 558 Bengal St, Laudium. Contact: 012 384 2189, tahiyya@newbeginningz.org or visit newbeginningz.org.za Tsenang Homes of Safety Short-term care is provided for abandoned, abused and neglected children. Help by donating your time as a volunteer, or by donating baby and toddler consumables, clothes, stationery and medical supplies. Venue: 669 Verdi St, Erasmuskloof, Pretoria East.

Contact: 012 347 1936, admin@tsenang. org.za or visit tsenang.org.za

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to pretoria@childmag. co.za or fax it to 011 234 4971.

Information must be received by 22 February for the April issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published.

To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za

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it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

family marketplace

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March 2013

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finishing touch

on your mark You don’t need to cross the finishing line to enjoy taking part in the race, says ANÉL LEWIS.

i

t was with much excitement that we prepared for Erin’s first sport’s day, just a fortnight after she started school.

I wasn’t even aware of the upcoming race, until I saw her speeding down the garden one afternoon as she mumbled, “Getreadyset and go”. When I asked her what she was doing, she informed me that she was “running” and that I must please take a seat on the grass. She then proceeded to demonstrate her athletic prowess. Please note that this demo also included a quick refresher for me on how to clap appreciatively as she ran past, in case I had forgotten the rudiments of being a good spectator.

I was thrilled that she had taken to running, as her father and I are both training for the Two Oceans Marathon this month. Maybe our enthusiasm for the sport

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was rubbing off on her? With childhood obesity reaching alarming proportions, I am all for anything that promotes a more active lifestyle.

And besides, according to research from the United Kingdom, Erin is already streaks ahead of me when it comes to fitness training. The study says that a toddler expends about the same amount of energy as an adult who runs 50km, or cycles 130km. No wonder we’re both exhausted at the end of the day.

So, armed with these stats, and encouraged by Erin’s diligent practice runs leading up to the race, I wasn’t too concerned about the actual event.

On the big day, I arrived home to find all her plastic chairs lined up against the lounge wall. She was recreating the race setting, just in case we weren’t too sure about how it

would all work. I had no inkling that her heart was no longer in the event, until we were due to leave, and she refused to don her class’s green shirt. “No, mom, I don’t want it.” Okay, we don’t need to run in the official colours; this isn’t the Olympics, I reasoned.

Then I took out her running shoes, in the hope that these would reignite her interest.

“I don’t like it,” was the firm response.

Unfazed, we headed for school, armed with video cameras – an extra one in case one of us missed the high-speed action – and some energy-boosting snacks. As we set up camp for Team Lewis on the grass, Erin surveyed the track, with its neatly drawn white lines. She looked at the coloured flags and took in the children starting to gather on the little plastic chairs. And when the cry rang out for the Dragonflies to “get ready, get set and go”, my little girl refused to budge.

She was having none of this “run on demand” business. I suppose, in her mind, she reckoned that she knew she could do it. There was no need to run with the rest of the class, just because some people were waving a few flags. Later, as we packed up the snacks and folded away the unworn green T-shirt, I spotted a pink flash as Erin sprinted down the track, all on her own. Team Lewis was on its feet, clapping loudly just as we had been taught. I suppose it’s not so much about the race, but about how (and when) we choose to run it.

Anél Lewis is Child magazine’s features editor. She will be in the final days of training for her first half marathon when you read this, and hoping that she can live up to her daughter’s race philosophy on the day.

Follow her on Twitter: @ChildMagParent

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PHOTOGRAPH: STEPHANIE VELDMAN

Erin, Anél and Conor