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AUTUMN 2011
Editor Jeff Stratton
AUTUMN | 2 0 1 1 Vol. 01 | No. 03
Publisher/Sales
contents
Kevin Stratton Preflight
GHOST SHIP 8
FEATURE 12
Adi Design/Advertising Susan Reed Cover and Feature Illustration Syanne Djaenal
MUSIC 19 Tubby Illustration Ropeadope Contributing Writers Sheryl Norman, Joe O’Donnell,
inbox/editor’s letter.............................5
calendar............................................... 20
island flavor ....................................... 26
local news...............................................6
music.................................................... 21
the green mango................................ 37
local lit....................................................7
dj profile.............................................. 23
caribbean island news.........................9
going deep.......................................... 24
Kevin Stratton, Philia del Mar, and Chef Francis Copy Editor
dub: exclusive interview with reggae
Martin Wagner
shame and scandal............................ 10
Editorial Intern
DYNASTY OF DUB. .............................. 12
Kaela Watkins
ON THE cover: The secret life of royalty
__________________ www.RoatanNewTimes.com editor@RoatanNewTimes.com feedback@RoatanNewTimes.com cel (504) 9956-9845 sales@RoatanNewTimes.com cel (504) 9922-5638 ________________ All content ©2011 Roatan New Times All rights reserved. All wrongs reversed. Annual Subscription Rates Domestic: $46 US: $120 Canada: $175 Roatan New Times is not affiliated with New Times/Village Voice Media Inc.
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Back Forth T
hroughout the birthing process of the first two issues of Roatan New Times, one constant seemed to both keep us sane and mark the time. Every day, at about ten minutes to five in the afternoon, we’d hear the crunch of Joe O’Donnell’s bicycle tires on gravel. Much like a blowing whistle indicating the end of a long shift, it heralded a time when work would wind down and the fun would ramp up. Joe and I had only met when the magazine was still in utero, more a nebulous idea than a reality. But with his knowledge, passion and love of diving (which was evident by reading his own blog), he breathed life into the project and was among its earliest supporters. What I witnessed of Joe is a headstrong dynamo of a man, a dude who rode his bike everywhere, making friends wherever he went. The more I talked to him the more interesting he became. Like clockwork, Joe always appeared at the right time, and he added zest to every situation. On August 19, Joe O’Donnell’s life changed forever. So did the lives of his friends and family … and of this project. Yes, Joe is The Lionfish Slayer. He was to be a big part of this magazine, taking it to another level of coolness. Joe’s future is on hold at the moment. Personally, I have no doubt that he will make a full recovery. But it’s unlikely he will return to the island and that’s a shame. His healing process is the most important thing, but the collateral damage and domino/chilling effect resulting from the incident simply underscores the extent to which Joe made a difference here. However, with Facebook pages, groups like the Roatan Action Committee, petitions and meetings, it feels like a wave of change is possible. From a tragic event, said RAC founder Mark Flanagan, positive possibilities abound. Justice for all Roatanians should be everyone’s goal. We’re all in this together. Come together -- right now! — Jeff Stratton
Letters to the editor must include author’s phone number for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters exceeding 200 words. Send to: Jeff Stratton tel: 9956-9845 feedback@roatannewtimes.com
Island Time, mon! It’s about time you posted Issue Two on the Roatan New Times website! I picked up my copy when it came out, but the windows on my vehicle were really dirty, so I used the “gloss free, environmentally friendly” magazine to clean them. No
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problem, I’ll peruse the electronic version, but alas, when I went to the website, Issue Two wasn’t posted yet… sheesh, Don’t you know Roatan is a fast-paced, on-demand, no-excuse-fortardiness kind of society? Genevieve Ross, via roatannewtimes.com
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>> GOT SOMETHING TO SAY? feedback@roatannewtimes.com Bring Back Billy (Squier) Great choice. “Lonely is the Night!” Let’s rock! Jay, via roatannewtimes.com Local Love I love your magazine and would like to keep you posted on happening events locally - at least the ones I know about. Nidia Hernadez, Via SMS Wild West End Dear readers, first of all, let me say I’m sorry that the situation between Mr. O’Donnell and the Wesleys escalated to the point of Mr. O’Donnell being shot. The situation should have been handled differently. I am local, and I live in West End. I know Mr. Sam Wesley to be a calm person; he does not harass anyone. You rarely see him anywhere else other than on his own property. I’m not condoning Mr. Wesley shooting Mr. O’Donnell. Like I said, the situation should not have come to this. As for shots being fired at Slippery Sue’s, West End residents and tourists alike have suffered with noise pollution for over 20 years. Go into the municipal and ask for complaint records of the noise pollution in West End, or better yet ask the locals what they have suffered through. What I’m saying is Slippery Sue’s bar is no less than 20 feet away from the Wesley’s home and business. How would you like to have an open air bar/nightclub next to your home? We all have a breaking point. And when we break, we do things that we would not normally do. If the authorities would enforce the law that says “you can’t disturb your neighbor,” then one would not be frustrated to the point of taking the law into one’s own hand. Can you imagine having your sleep taken away by loud music to the point that you cannot get the sleep that rightfully belongs to all human
beings? Concerning what occurred between Mrs. Rosalie Crimmin and Mrs. Rosita Wesley… if you walk by Crystal Beach you will notice how well-kept their yard is. Ms. Rosita’s problem with Ms. Rosalie is that, at times when Rosalie would walk her three dogs (without a leash) they would run through Rosita’s garden, causing damage to her plants and flowers. Now, whether Ms. Rosita’s garden is worth 60,000 lempiras or not is besides the point. A price can’t be put on the time and effort she has put into tending to her beautiful garden. We should all respect each other, meaning put your dogs / dog on a leash when you and your dog are not at home. I do not, however, condone Ms. Rosita throwing a rock at Ms. Rosalie -yet another example of how things should have been handled differently. Quincy is not crazy. He is one of the few local young men who actually has ambition and works very hard. He probably did not appreciate Mr.O’Donnell pushing or hitting his mother. From what I read above, Ms. Rosita was trying to get Mr. O’Donnell’s attention and he was ignoring her by continuing his conversation on the phone. Big mistake. No one ignores Rosita Wesley when it comes to her property. Mr. O’Donnell, being an ex-police officer should have the training in how to deal with people when they are upset and out of control. He should have been more respectful in trying to communicate with the Wesleys. On the other hand, when some one tells you to move something or to get off their property… do it. Don’t hesitate. It could mean your life. Let’s all respect each other and try to be toleraant of each other. I hope Mr.O’Donnell continues his recovery. Elizabeth Smith, via roatannewtimes.com
Don’t you know Roatan is a fast-paced kind of society?
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local news >>know some news? Email editor@roatannewtimes.com
Former Roatan Waiter Sentenced For Kiddie Porn Possession in Pennsylvania by Jeff Stratton
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fugitive hiding out and arrested here started serving his sentence in the States last month. Charles David Lefebvre, 27, was living on Roatan and working as a waiter, avoiding the U.S. government. He was facing possession of child pornography charges in Eastern Pennsylvania federal court. Last August, officials from Immigration and Customs Enforcement nabbed him at the restaurant where he worked. This May, in that same Pennsylvania courtroom, he was sentenced to 60 months in prison and hit with a $5,000 fine. He’ll face 10 years of supervision after he gets out of prison. What prosecutors found on his computer was fairly sick and twisted. He told investigators he had a thing for 10-year-old girls. A link will be posted on our website if you want to see the government’s evidence of what Lefebvre was into. The government said Lefebvre’s collection included kids of all ages, “from infants to teenagers, and included images of a sadistic and violent nature, such as bondage and bestiality.” Lefebvre was first busted in 2008 after he used his own credit card to gain access to a child-porn website called Illegal CP. When agents 6
showed up at his house in Rockledge, Pennsylvania, they found thousands of images he’d downloaded from LimeWire. He was ordered to surrender his computers and external drives, memory cards, and thumb drives. Lefebvre’s attorney argued that the child pornography sentencing guidelines were unduly harsh. After all, Lefebvre hadn’t been accused of molesting any children – he merely got off looking at videos of them being sexually assaulted. As an example of how tough kiddie porn laws are, investigators recovered about 500 video files from Lefebvre’s computers and drives. But that gets broken down frame-by-frame, so he was charged with possessing more than 37,000 still images. The government said it had identified the names and ages of 166 children depicted in the videos. But within a few months, according to the US Attorney Lefebvre withdrew about $34,000 from two bank accounts, plus an additional $10,000 to pay a criminal defense lawyer, and fled to Guatemala. The U.S. Attorney’s office says when he was busted on Roatan, he was “using the identity of a Honduran citizen.” After he was returned to the States, Lefebvre claimed to support a “common law wife and three step children.” A Roatan acquaintance who didn’t want to be named said Lefebvre drove an old car but flashed a lot of cash around and enjoyed cocaine. He also bragged about being a “fugitive on the run.” Another person who’d met him said, “the grossest part of all of this is he was a nice guy. You would never even know by talking to him that he was sick.” ROATAN new TIMES.com
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NOVEL ROATAN
Midlife Island Meltdown by Edwina Ann Doyle / Llumina Press
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choolteacher Edwina Ann Doyle spent part of the early 90s in Sandy Bay, where she became a fixture in the local community. The Kentuckyborn educator worked as the English Director at ESBIR Bilingual School for two years. And she bonded with the islanders in a big way. Some of her experiences, she says – like living at the Gravel Bay orphanage for several months – had to be cut from the final draft. As such, much of the book centers on Sandy Bay. Doyle returned to Roatan two decades later to find how the laidback island had changed, and to finally finish the epilogue to her book she started 20 years earlier. “When I lived on Roatan Island, it was mainly a mecca for scuba divers,” Doyle said. “Now Roatan is the ‘it’ spot of the Caribbean, according to The New York Times. My adventures on Roatan had taught me that living in paradise can exact a hefty price.” Doyle experienced something of a midlife meltdown before arriving on the island, and admits Roatan was a place she was running to. What I escaped from included petulant students, a eunuch-like husband, the raw pain of my mother’s and sister’s untimely deaths, and the traumatic ordeal of a hysterectomy. Assembling the book was a labor of love, she said while on the island earlier this summer, drumming up publicity. She’s a stickler for grammar and punctuation (she taught middle school, high school, and college composition for 25 years) which drives her crazy on Roatan. But she’s equally passionate about retaining the islanders’ phrases and dialect. “It’s called a wishy-willy,” she says of our indigenous black iguana.
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“Not wish-willy!” Her prose is lively and fun. Here’s a short section dealing with a rainy trek through the bush:
Although young Augustine warns me that walking up the mountain in a drizzle isn’t a good idea, I am anxious to speak with Mr. Wilford about his children’s education—or lack thereof—so I stubbornly insist. Augustine reluctantly leads me into the bush, where Mr. Wilford once owned sixty acres. As we approach, Augustine’s mother looks up from a mud stove in the yard and calls, “Hola!” The children and their uncle Junior, who is reading a religious pamphlet, are lounging in stringy hammocks under the house. With Maritsa and Augustine boarding with me, Maria still houses Glenn, Manuel, and El Maina in their minuscule thatchedroof hut. While chatting briefly with seventy-one-year-old Mr. Wilford, a tall, sinewy dark man with a long, narrow face and enormous lips, I perch on a stump as it starts to sprinkle harder. After fathering Lucien and her siblings, Mr. Wilford started another family with a Hispanic woman named Maria and fathered Glen, Augustine, Manuel, Maritsa, and El Maina. Lucien has told me that her father is one of the hardest-working men on the island, that he only drinks on the weekends, and because he’s so generous, his drinking buddies hang around him like fruit flies. He evidently pays for his alcohol by selling off parcels of land. Augustine and I resume our hike up a steep hill with him clearing the path with his machete. After much whining and grunting from the pushy gringa, we finally reach the pinnacle. The spectacular view of
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Anthony’s Key is like viewing a lifesized postcard. A quick hard rain quickly morphs the mountain into a muddy slide. Although Augustine had deftly chopped me a walkingstick, it is only useful on the hike up. Now, if I had two, perhaps I could use the walking-sticks as ski poles, because I slide halfway back down the muddy slope, screaming like a demented diva the entire way. When I finally come to a jarring stop, I am flat on my bottom staring into the black, beady eyes of a tarantula the size of a hairy baseball. I levitate, still screaming, and then slide madly down the rest of the mountain, feeling like Kathleen Turner in the movie Romancing the Stone. When I emerge from the bush, I am coated in mud, my clothes are stuck to my body, and mascara is blotched all over my face; I could easily claim the starring role of The Beastly Bitch from the Bush. The
village kids point and laugh, “Look at Miss Winnie! She look funny! She all wet and dirty!” And Miss Winnie is thinking that there isn’t enough bleach in the Bay Islands to whiten my pants and that anyone stupid enough to wear white Liz Claiborne pants into the bush doesn’t deserve them. Although Augustine is superbly bush-savvy, he is academically challenged, not for lack of intelligence but for lack of civility— perhaps a bit of swashbuckling buccaneer in his bloodline. In the past week, he’s gotten into trouble twice for fighting and once for flipping up Jilly’s skirt on the playground. I’ve managed to run interference so that his name hasn’t been emblazoned into Amina’s black book, but his luck is sure to run out. I’ve taken the boy out of the bush, but I don’t have a clue how to take the bush out of the Bay Island boy. 7
cruise news Ghost Ship’s Final Sail After attempting to use Roatan for cover, sunken vessel has never been found
by Jeff Stratton
Tropical storms (like the big nothing that was Harvey) and hurricanes can force cruise ships to abandon Roatan, or alter iteneraries and visit us last instead of first or vice versa. It’s not hard for big cruise ships to outrun or out-maneuver a hurricane. As Irene steamed through the Caribbean last month, Royal Caribbean had to dump passengers in Puerto Rico. Ships are far more vulnerable to storms when they’re in port. The safest place for a cruise ship is in calm water away from a storm. Sounds simple enough, and this hurricane season already proved that shuffling ships and schedules works. The only time a commercial cruise ship has been taken down by a storm was the Fantome, the flagship vessel of the Windjammer Barefoot Cruise line. It reportedly still lies in 1,500 feet of water off the southeast Bonnacan coast. The doomed ship used Roatan for cover during the worst of October 1998’s hurricane Mitch, the 5th-most powerful Atlantic storm in history. The Fantome made all the right moves. The storm made all the wrong ones. Or was it the other way around? The SV Fantome, built in 1927 in Italy for the Duke of Westminster, was owned by Irish beer mogul A.E. Guiness and Aristotle Onassis until acquired by Windjammer in 1969. The fourmasted, steel-hulled schooner stayed in the mainland port of Omoa before it left on its final, fateful voyage. On Saturday, October 24, 32year-old captain Guyan March took the Fantome and its 100 passengers to sea as the outer bands of Mitch approached. The category 2 storm was almost 1,000 to the northeast, continuing in that direction. So March slowly (the ship’s top speed 8
was about 9 mph) sailed to Roatan. The next morning, however, the ship made a beeline for Belize City where all passengers and nonessential crew were let off. By Monday afternoon, October 25, Fantome was at sea again, but Mitch – now a category 3 with 130-mile mph winds – was behaving erratically. March used a satellite phone to reach Michael Burke, Windjammer’s owner. They made the decision the head for Cancun/ Cozumel, and into the still-safe Gulf of Mexico. “Fantome was boxed in a corner,” said Burke, “with the Yucatan peninsula to the west and Honduras to the south.” But in just a few hours, the storm started tracking northwest toward the Yucatan. The captain reversed course and started heading south. He headed directly for the south (lee) side of Roatan as Mitch intensified into a 178-mph monster. Then Mitch took aim at Roatan – moving south, which was unpredictable and unheard of. On Tuesday the 26th, Mitch had essentially stalled over Bonnacca, and March knew he was trapped. He spoke again to Burke about 4:30 that afternoon, reporting 100-mph winds and 40- to 50-foot seas. The Fantome aimed its starboard stern quarter at the eye of the storm. It wasn’t until November 2 that debris was spotted off the treeless coast of “eastern Guanaja.” Five years ago, on a scuba message board, someone discussed auctioning off items his friend had found, including “the Barefoot flag (5’ X 8’) that was flying on the ship and at least one life jacket that I know of.” No other trace of the ship – which completely disappeared with 31 men aboard – has ever been found. Karl Stanley, whose Idabel sub is capable of descending to 2,000 feet,
Somewhere southeast of Bonnacca, hurricane Mitch sunk the SV Fantome.
believes the ship went down quite close to the edge of a shelf. “If it’s in 1,500 feet of water, I could definitely reach it and take pictures,” he said. “But if it happens that it went down before it reached the shelf, it’s probably in about 6,000 feet -- which means no way.”
The Ship and the Storm: Hurricane Mitch and the Loss of the Fantome, by Jim Carrier, is an excellent place to start. Lawsuits associated with the disaster -- combined with the IRS issuing Burke a hefty tax bill -brought Windjammer down in 2007.
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caymans ➽ Lots of international issues regarding Cayman bank accounts. Beginning in August, the FBI started investigating transactions between Chuck Blazer, an American who holds an executive position with FIFA, the international governing body which oversees worldwide soccer. For the last 15, the FBI says, Jack Warner, president of the Caribbean Football Union, sent Blazer at least $500,000 that Blazer then deposited into Caymanian bank accounts. ➽ The London Independent wrote a scathing editorial about tax havens, noting that England is starting to tax citizens with secret Swiss accounts and that UK firm Barclays alone has 181 subsidiaries in the Caymans.
Jamaica ➽The U.S. Postal Service may be on its last legs, but Jamaica’s will continue despite a budget cut of $40 million Jamaican dollars. One
local politician, facing the closure of three post offices in his district, told the Gleaner, “I had to take out $65,000 out of my pocket to allow them to continue, I had to take out $110,000 to repair the Jericho Post Office and pay rent at $15,000 per month out of my own pocket, the Hopewell Post Office, [and] I have to keep paying the light bills.” •With the Digicel/Claro merger approved, despite the government frowning on Digicel’s business plan, many are worried about the effects of a virtual cell phone/internet monopoly.
COZUMEL ➽Drunken tourists are making life tough for turtles, says the island’s department of Ecology and Environment. One of the main problems facing sea turtles is that tourists, some of them inebriated, take flash pictures at night of the nesting turtles, which is disorienting and terrifying for the reptiles. This along with approaching the animals too closely disturbs the nesting
caribbean island news sequence. Additionally, beach visitors are asked to remove their trash and, if they bring their dogs, do not allow them to run free to destroy nests and eggs. •The editor of the Cozumel Insider has had enough. “I no longer live in the Cozumel bubble or drink the Kool Aid served up by the local press there. These are not the sleepy fishing villages of days gone by - Cancun, Playa and Cozumel tout themselves as “world class” tourism destinations and as such will attract their proportionate amounts of crime. Local/state police/judges, are for the most part, corrupt and usually complicit with criminal activity so they are not necessarily going to help you.” Sound familiar?
CUBA ➽ In early September, the Iranian Vice President, Dr. Mohammad Reza Rahimi, made a trip to Cuba and paid tribute on Wednesday morning to Cuban National Hero Jose Marti at Havana’s Revolution Square.
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➽ Twice-weekly charter flights from Fort Lauderdale to Havana started two weeks ago, giving South Florida families the chance to reconnect with relatives on the Communist island. Flights from Tampa have been operating since early September.
ARUBA ➽American Gary Giordano is stuck in Aruba. On August 2, he and a woman he’d met through an on-line swinger’s site were snorkeling when he claims she was swept out to sea. Within days, he was calling insurance companies in the States, sounding “excited, like he was going to win something,” according to a company spokesman. The woman, Robyn Gardner, apparently signed off on two insurance policies listing Giordano as the beneficiary. One insurance agent who spoke by phone to Giordano was so freaked out he called the police in Aruba. Giordano’s being held in a nine-foot cell with three other men with temperatures reaching 100 degrees.
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roots
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Shame Scandal
in the family Threatened Loss of Culture Keeps Project Alive
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n 1852, the British Government commissioned the Methodist Mission in Coxen Hole to keep proper records of its citizens. Most of them were migrating from the Cayman Islands and Belize to the Bay Islands. On July 8, 1852, the first entry into the record book was Shiwell James Bodden born to William and Elizabeth Bodden on June 21, 1851 in Flowers Bay. This book is still used today. These records are an important part of our history as each document tells a story. There are whole groups of siblings that were christened at the same time. This information gives me a time line as to when each family arrived to the Bay Islands, and also where each family was living at the time. As each family arrived in the islands they would register the children – one way to establish residence. Entry eight gives me my grandmother’s name as Eliza Catherine Bodden. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have any information about her other than her nickname (“Katie”) as it was recorded by one source as “Catherine” by another handwritten source. Eliza Catherine was one of nine
by Sheryl Norman children. As these first families married and had more children, they became what now make up most of the major families on the island today. As I’ve said, their descendants are not viewed as distant relatives, but as family. Everyone is viewed and treated as family. One is taught from early on that even though they may be your 7th cousin twice removed, they are still family. It is of the utmost importance that records are kept and preserved. With our efforts to commit all of these names, time-lines of arrivals, and their consequent descendants we are trying to preserve a historical slice of our culture that may soon disappear. So many factors are at play that help to cause this loss of our culture. Some of it is due in part to us islanders. Our own irresponsibility, our collective lack of pride as to who we are as a people and yes, having more options in selecting a spouse. If you would like to know about your roots, get involved in this project of documenting island families or if you’d like help putting together your family tree or you’re just curious as to what information we already have on your family, please contact us at roatan1960@ yahoo.com
>>wanna share yours? Email editor@roatannewtimes.com 10
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"What is known as hip-hop today is originally what we used to do in the late '60s and the early '70s. But they just know my brother's name. If you go back and trace the history, on the lips of every guy in the reggae business, they always say
"KING TUBBY!"
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The Secret Life of DuB REGGAE by Jeff Stratton Just before quitting my writing job and moving to Roatan in April of 2007, the phone in my cubicle rang. A flustered Miami Herald reporter wanted to know how had I possibly gotten to speak with Leslie Ruddock, locally known as the baby brother of dub/reggae legend King Tubby.
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W
hen the reporter tracked down Ruddock and showed up at his suburban South Florida home, the Jamaicanborn, part-time electronic repairman chased the poor guy, notebook in hand, back to his car. He threatened physical violence if the reporter ever returned. Ruddock’s older brother, Osbourne, aka King Tubby, pioneered the reggae genre called dub. His legacy extends deep into today’s music. London’s prestigious Guardian/ Observer called King Tubby’s 1971 discovery of dub one of the “50 moments that shaped musical history [and] changed our lives,” crediting him for “creating the template for modern dance music.” Source magazine named King Tubby “the don of hip-hop.” Massive Attack, No Doubt, Portishead – not to mention crucial reggae like Augustus Pablo and Lee “Scratch” Perry – could not have existed without Tubby. King Tubby has been dead more than a quarter-century, the victim of an unsolved Kingston murder, yet he remains among the most respected figures in contemporary reggae, credited with the innovations that gave modern-day trance, dubstep, techno, and hip-hop its sonic playfulness and deep-bass grooves. Then there’s Tubby’s baby brother, Leslie, a shadowy figure
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who has settled into embittered solitude, resisting any and all attempts to unveil his own unmistakable imprint on reggae music. An incurable electro-tech wonk, Young Tubby -- as he is known to reggae cognoscenti -- who built from scratch the machinery that helped create Jamaican music’s most crucial subgenre -- goes to absurd lengths to keep his accomplishments under wraps. To this end, he’s been remarkably successful. Leslie Ruddock, born in September 1947, doesn’t even amount to a penciled-in footnote in reggae history. And he prefers it that way. Seeking interviews, every local and international scribe has been turned away. Even the world’s foremost reggae archivist and biographer, Steve Barrow of England’s roots revival label Blood & Fire, was rebuffed. No photos of Leslie Ruddock are known to exist. “We can’t even get family portraits,” says his daughter, Michelle. His son, Keith, told me his father would never talk to a reporter to explain the dub dynasty he built with his brother. Yet Leslie Ruddock was arguably as important and inventive as his older brother. While Osbourne never left Jamaica in his lifetime, Leslie Ruddock moved to the U.S. in the mid-1960s, never to return. If timing is the key to life, my
phone call to Leslie Ruddock came at exactly the right instant. Though initially angry about being contacted by a stranger, he spoke to me for almost two hours. After that, he resisted any further contact. One bright afternoon several years ago, the man often called “Young Tubby” answers the phone at his home in Boynton Beach, Florida. He doesn’t sound at all pleased. In fact, he begins with an animated, don’tyou-know-who-I am? rant. “My brother was the King!” he shouts into the receiver. “The world famous -- internationally famous -UNIVERSALLY FAMOUS!!! -- King Tubby!” Nervous laughter on my end. Is he kidding? “So if you want an interview, come up with a big, fat check,” he thunders. “And I’m not talking about $1,000 or so. I’m talking big money. ‘Cause Tubby’s is a big name!” After remaining in the deep background during one of reggae’s most important sagas, isn’t Leslie Ruddock interested -- even slightly -- in having his story told? Setting the record straight? “No,” he says after a millisecond’s pause. “I don’t want to bother with that unless I see some money. The record’s straight the way it is.” That’s a shame, because the story of Jamaican music is minus one massive chapter with his omission. Maybe so, he agrees with a sigh. “The history is so big, so broad. But I don’t care.” In fact, repeats Ruddock, after being screwed over, learning about copyrights, royalties, and publishing rights the hard way, there’s only one way he’s going to tell his story. “I’m waiting for somebody to come in with a big fat check,” he reiterates. “Then I’ll say, ‘OK, roll. ‘”
But behind his sonorous voice -which sounds as if it belongs to a smooth soul singer instead of a semi-retired radio repairman -- a kindness starts spiraling out from behind the gruffness, and against his will, the tales squeak through. “I’m getting ready to go through a lot of old stuff that we did in the 70s and 80s that we never released. I got a piece of (Elvis Presley’s) “All Shook Up” which is a different version from the one you guys know. I have a version of The Te m p t a t i o n s “I’ve Got Sunshine” you’ve never heard. I’ve got some Bob Marley that was never released.” But anger surfaces again when Ruddock reflects on the iconic status the world has given Bob Marley, acting as if the genre began and ended with his reign. “I know the guy, we grow up together,” he says. “I know everybody’s like, Bob Marley, but he was Robbie to us. “I’m telling you the only thing the guy ever did was add biblical lyrics and a little bit of hard suffering struggling times -- and travel with it! He never did any goddamn thing else.” While he teases with those tales, snapshots stacked four feet high of every reggae star imaginable, and enough crazy electronic gizmos to fill a Heathkit catalog, Ruddock has no intention of sharing. But sometimes the truth leaks out, like a bottomless bassline shuddering from a subwoofer or an ethereal slice of a vocal fragment slipping in and out of the mix -- be it from a mid-’70s reggae remix or a modern-day club anthem -- and you can feel Tubby’s magic touch. Along with a handful of others, the name King Tubby exemplifies reggae roots. Born Osbourne
“The only thing Bob Marley ever did was add biblical lyrics and a little bit of hard suffering struggling times and travel with it!"
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Ruddock in January 1941, Tubby’s nickname came not from a weight problem (he was actually quite trim) but for his knowledge of all things electronic, tube amplifiers in particular. While a Google search will turn up hundreds of documents detailing the story of Kingston’s Daddy of Dub, not one mentions Tubby’s baby brother (if you find one, let us know). Although dub is known as a Jamaican innovation, many of its technological advances were made here in the States, simply because of the level of available equipment. Dub -- the product of budget constraints, sheer serendipity, and a sense of adventure -- has its origin in primitive electronics. Leslie says, “My dad was a musician. He played the tenor saxophone and the alto saxophone and the Hawaiian guitar. That’s where it comes from, my dad, I guess.” But Young Tubby was more interested in electronics than guitar lessons.” No, I don’t play an instrument. I’m not a musician. I’m not a singer. I’m not an artist. Like I said, listen: I am an electronic genius. I can take a cigarette box and turn that shit into a radio. That’s really who I am. So I uses that electronic geniusness of mine and incorporate it into music. “My brother and I, we were two electronic geniuses. If he comes up with something down there, or if I come up with something up here, I let him know. Ninety percent of the time I’d come up with the idea -because I am here where it happens, you know?” Both Ruddock brothers shared a passion for music and uncanny abilities as tinkerers with gadgetry. Anything that could be taken apart -- speakers, amplifiers, telephones, ham radios, televisions -- was studied and put back together. As kids, they would even come to enjoy the small electric shocks they’d get from the transistor radios they messed with. “We was also fixing TVs and stereos, just to make enough money to survive, and by the time I was 20 years old, I was a master at what I was doing.” In the late 1950s, Osbourne ROATAN new TIMES.com
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Osbourne Ruddock in his studio/ repair shop in Kingston, Jamaica. His murder has never been solved, and his younger brother never returned to the island.
Ruddock’s career as a repairman had blossomed into a master of audio mechanics, hours were spent rewinding transformers and building his own tube amplifiers that were bigger, louder, and cleaner than anything ever heard on the island. With a simple, home-brewed two-channel mixer, he built his own sound system, “King Tubby’s Hometown Hi-Fi,” a mobile DJ booth that pumped reggae which could be heard for miles. One day, Tubby accidentally left off most of the vocals from a tune he was mixing. But he loved the sound of his minimalist mistake. When he became a well-known engineer/ producer on his own, he built a simple studio, thinking (mostly out of necessity) in reductive terms. Never proficient on instruments himself, Tubby was a postproduction composer. After the musicians and singers laid down the basic tracks, Tubby would turn sound sculptor. The original whole,
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like a block of marble, would then be chopped, drilled, pulled, and tugged like taffy to fit Tubby’s new specifications. A vocal line might pop in for two or three measures, never to appear again. The underpinning bass grid often, without warning, dropped out entirely. A guitar would chop out a few strums, then evaporate. The vacuum left behind gave the music its magical appeal. This fourth dimension was fortified by a mindwarping sense of echo and reverb, at which Tubby excelled. Incredibly, the ancient technology meant that Tubby often performed these miracles on twotrack machines -- instruments on one channel, vocals on the other. This economy of means led Tubby to push and pull both tracks in and out of the mix -- creating a titillating rhythmic striptease. By the time a four-track mixer came around, each element -- bass, keyboards, guitar, vocals -- could make an appearance,
briefly state its intent, and slip away behind a sonic curtain. The dropouts bred anticipation, and the blank spaces provided a perfect tableau for MCs (toasters, they were called) to rap over the top. Other studios in Kingston were also experimenting with innovative techniques, but none had the technical prowess of Tubby’s on Dromilly Avenue. Tubby had one big advantage -his electronic expertise allowed him to update and modify his equipment. He used phase shifters and smoothgliding faders, which made for seamless transitions between dubbeing and dub-nothingness. He built his own equalizers, reverb and delay units. During reggae’s golden age of the early 1970s, Tubby’s studio became a launch pad for an assortment of greats. Among his most famous collaborators: producers like crazy dub surrealist Lee “Scratch” Perry and seminal studio whiz Bunny Lee, singers like sweet soul crooner Horace Andy, original toasters like U-Roy, and melodica master Augustus Pablo. With Pablo, the work was especially fruitful, culminating in some of Tubby’s best work. But by the time Osbourne Ruddock developed his first sound systems, his younger brother was searching for a way he could make his own impact. However, like his kingly brother -- described by friends, family, protégés, and associates as a nice but extremely private man -- Leslie Ruddock has spent his 64 years avoiding any sort of publicity. In the 1960s, as King Tubby became one of the most famous musical Jamaicans, Leslie Ruddock tired of following in his footsteps. Convinced he could become an engineer and technician in his own right, he moved to Brooklyn, where he took his electronic knowledge to a new level. By the early ‘70s, with the technology of New York City at his disposal, his achievements outstripped his brother’s, say many who witnessed his innovations. “To me, a lot of people give Tubby too much credit,” says Denver “Jamusa” Silvera, a popular South Florida radio DJ. He met 15
Leslie Ruddock in Brooklyn in 1970. “He told me Tubby taught him a lot of things, but then again, he created a lot of things here.” Silvera once watched the young Ruddock take a business card and use it as a speaker. “From then on, I said, ‘Whoa, I gotta know how you do this stuff!’” One of Young Tubby’s innovations was a “dub machine,” a device that could actually cut wax records. “It was so amazing for everybody to see a man build something that can make a record,” Ruddock marvels. “A lot of guys never knew how a record was made until I showed them. “That’s what ‘dub’ really is,” he continues. “It’s acetate -- that’s what that black thing really is. What you’d do is you’d dub the sound from whatever you’re taking it from onto the acetate.” In Jamaica, Leslie and Osbourne also cut their own records, creating what became known as dub plates -- usually single 45s -- containing instrumental versions of whatever tunes they were working on. These dub plates would be transported like artillery shells to be blasted on booming sound systems, laying waste to listeners. Leslie explains, ‘We would use the same rhythm track, put different lyrics on each one, and make four,
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five, six different versions so we could compete with other sound systems. Basically, that’s what my brother and I brought into existence.” The second discovery Leslie Ruddock made in Brooklyn went to the core of dub’s sonic spirit. “Nobody was putting echo in reggae music,” he claims. “I started that when I was just a young guy.” By combining three tape recorders together, he invented an echo/feedback system that created a mind-boggling 168 echoes a minute. Another associate, Hyman “Jah Life” Wright -- now a New York label boss -- recalls how Ruddock’s unorthodox methodology gave the music its disorienting giddiness. “He had a Fisher reverb unit that used a spring, a metal spring,” Wright remembers. “He’d lift the spring and it’d splash, and he’d combine that with the echo unit and get these different frequencies.” Ruddock recorded these sounds and sent them down to King Tubby. “I got a telephone call from my brother in Jamaica,” Ruddock laughs, “and he asked me, ‘How the hell did you do that?’” When the sound turned up on King Tubby’s mixes, it instantly revolutionized music on the island. “As soon as I ‘eard those records I knew it was our stuff,” says Wright. “Nobody ever heard anything
like that before,” Leslie Ruddock says. “Everybody want that.” Young Tubby’s remarkable inventions made friends like Silvera ask him, “’You know how rich you could have been if you had patented that?’ But he didn’t want to get involved with that part of the business. He wanted to stay behind the scenes.” Silvera even advised him to design an emblem to label the power amps and pre-amplifiers he’d assembled. “You know, so they’d say Built by Young Tubby. But he wouldn’t do things like that. A lot of what Tubby knew was learned from (his younger brother). He was exposed to a lot of things you couldn’t get in Jamaica, and he shared that with Tubby,” Silvera says. Ruddock can’t escape the Tubby trademark anyway. There’s a wide gap between Source magazine and the London Observer, but Tubby’s name is enough to fill it. Once modern day mixing boards and computers elevated dub’s meager technology, the music grew and infiltrated much of the rock music of the 80s and 90s. Bands like Bauhaus, The Orb, and New Order, all borrowed from the format. And hip/hop – nearly all of it. “What is known as hip-hop today,” Leslie Ruddock intones, “is originally what we used to do in the late ‘60s and the early ‘70s. But they just know my brother’s name. If you go back and trace the history, on the lips of every guy in the reggae business, they always say, ‘KING TUBBY!’” In 1982, Leslie Ruddock moved to Fort Lauderdale and opened a recording studio. Young Tubby’s Music Center was the biggest studio between Kingston and New York for reggae artists, and Ruddock fondly recalls the halcyon days of sessions with talents like Sugar Minott, Johnny Osbourne, and Barrington Levy as well as the late, great Dennis Brown and Augustus Pablo. Inside the studio -- next door to a strip club -- Ruddock’s disciplinarian side surfaced. In telling the tale, he punctures one of the biggest misconceptions about dub: that everyone involved must have been incredibly stoned to come up with
such mind-bending sounds. “That’s the part of the music business that I resented constantly,” he says angrily, “and still do. I would come into the studio feeling good, and the minute the musicians come in and start smoking their goddamned ganja shit, stinkin’ up the place, I’d have to open up the window. Why should I be suffering because that guy smokes his ganja? So I had a tough time, especially when using other people’s studios. I used to carry this little gas mask with me.” He admits it probably looked a little silly to see someone behind the console wearing a gas mask with filter cartridges, but he didn’t care. “If someone said, ‘Tubby, why you put that thing on?’ I’d say, ‘Man, I can’t breathe in here with all that smoke!’” Silvera recalls, “He had this phobia about smoke, so [musicians] would go do it outside in the car before they came in. He told me that cigarette smoke will form a charcoal film on the equipment, the diodes, and really mess it up.” During his stint in Fort Lauderdale, Ruddock had three rules musicians and engineers had to follow: No smoking in the studio. No food in the studio. And no firearms. “Listen to me,” he says solemnly. “It was hard work!” His voice rises. “I’m talking about 45 years of constant soldering! Getting electrical shocks! Listening to all kinds of shit from guys who don’t even know how to play their instruments!” Softly, he adds: “It’s not about fame. It’s not even about money. It’s about -- somebody gotta do the work.” A few days a week, he still repairs equipment in the back room at a nearby music store. “He fixes anything that has wires and tubes and transistors, whether it be a TV or a microphone and everything in between,” says store owner Elaine Schumacher. Salesman Ace Kari got to know Young Tubby a bit and understands his reluctance to indulge curious writers. “That part of his life is over and done with. He wants to be left alone.
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It’s a shame, but he’s done.” Adds Silvera: “I’ve asked him to come to the station and tell people how he did all this, and he’ll say, ‘Nah, nah -- you do it.’ The media in Jamaica, they don’t write about the backbone of the music. They write about the leaves that fall off the limbs. There are branches, but he’s one of the roots.” Still, Young Tubby doesn’t care. “I just sit back, but what I personally am not doing is I am not bringing any outsiders into what remains,” he emphasizes. “It never do a thing for me, and it killed my brother.” During the 1980s, King Tubby’s studio in the dangerous Waterhouse district of Kingston hosted a revolving door of talent, and new apprentices learned recording techniques at his side. He launched his own record labels, boosted the careers of upstart stars like Wayne Wonder, and readied himself for entry into the new digital era. It was not to be. Shortly after 1 a.m. on February 6, 1989, Tubby locked the studio, started his car, ROATAN new TIMES.com
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and made the ten-minute drive to his home in Duhaney Park. As soon as he pulled into the driveway at 85 Sherlock Crescent, a gunman sneaked up. Tubby was robbed (his licensed pistol was stolen too), and his wife awoke to the sound of a single shot. Old-school ska vocalist Glenn Darby told an interviewer: “The person who killed him was one of the stupidest person in the world because they would never find a man like King Tubby in Jamaica again.” Concurs Wright: “I never heard Tubbs ever fight in his life. They killed him for no reason.” No one was ever arrested in the murder. While family points to his intense desire for privacy, his associates say Leslie Ruddock’s reluctance to emerge from hiding is motivated by fear. “He’s my bredren and everything,” Wright says, “but he’s kind of a coward too. I said, “Man, you need to stop that. You’ve been in the background too long.’ Trust me -he’s scared. He don’t want nobody to come and kill him!”
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Young Tubby insists he’s afraid of nothing but losing his precious solitude. “I’m with everybody in the music business, even though we’re not out there rubbing shoulder to shoulder. So what’s the big deal? Why do I have to be showing people that I’m still existing?” “This is only for my kids and myself,” the patriarch insists. “Because I’ve noticed what an outsider does -- they destroy what they can’t control. It’s time to close the book. “ In general, he says, once out of the spotlight, best to stay there. “Some people come back after ten years, and you know the first thing they do? Go back where they left off. You can’t do that. You’re gonna scratch that surface that you smoothed out on the way to the top. Leave it alone! A lot of people don’t have the strength, they don’t have the courage or the know-how or the understanding how to continue without going back. I told my kids: “Do what you have to do now in the present time. Do not make the mistake that Ziggy Marley makes! He tried to continue
in his father’s time and it didn’t work -- it could not work! “I don’t have to go back; I just continue. My daughter, my son, and I -- we’re moving forward in digital.” His voice rises again, this time with pride. “They grew up into it, beside me, constantly. It was handed down to them. They’re from the foundation -- it’s not something they just heard about. It’s right there.” And then, suddenly, Leslie Ruddock remembers he shouldn’t be saying any of this at all. “I’m just giving you this time because I promised my son. I says, ‘OK, I’ll talk to you.’ I just didn’t expect to talk to you this long!” And with that, the conversation is over. “As we speak, I’m in the studio! And as soon as I get off the phone, I’m back doing electronics like I never stopped!”
A different version of this story was originally published in New Times Broward/Palm Beach. 17
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Roatan new times www.RoatanNewTimes.com
We are looking for talented local:
•photographers •illustrators/artists •writers To join our team, contact Jeff Stratton 9956-9845 editor@roatannewtimes.com
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calendar Hey Man, where’s the party?
MONDAY, OCT 3
Peggy’s Clinic Birthing Center Grand Opening
Tied up in red tape for months, Nurse Peggy Stranges will finally unveil the most modern health-care facility on the island. The center’s first baby is scheduled for an October 6 delivery! Clinica Esperanza, Sandy Bay
MONDAY, OCT 3 Honduran Soldier Day National Holiday
Today we celebrate the birth of Francisco Morazan, the hero of Honduras and a devoted soldier. General Francisco Morazán (October 3, 1792 – September 15, 1842) was a Honduran general and a politician who ruled several Central American states at different times during the turbulent period from 1827 to 1842. His statue can be found in most parks around the country -- Coxen Hole has one. All national and local government offices and most commercial establishments will be closed for the day.
SATurday, OCT 8 Sol Softball: C-Level vs. Blue Marlin
4:30 - 6 pm at the John J Wood “Field of Dreams” behind Woody’s gas station, West End
Saturday, OCT 15 Sol Softball Play-Offs Round Two
3 - 6 pm at the John J Wood “Field of Dreams” behind Woody’s gas station, West End
SUNday, OCT 16 Sol Softball Play-Offs Round Two Third Place and Championship Game
3 - 6 pm at the John J Wood “Field of Dreams” behind Woody’s gas station, West End
MONDAY, OCT 3 Honduran Soldier Day National Holiday
All national and local government offices and most commercial establishments will be closed for the day.
EVERY MONday Movie Night at Bananarama, West Bay Live Music at Lands End West End
EVERY TUESDAY Quiz Nite at Bananarama, West Bay
EVERY WEDNESDAY Open Mic Nite at Lands End West End
EVERY thursday
Sunday, OCT 9
Karaoke at Blue Marlin, West End
Sol Softball Play-Offs
EVERY FRIDAY
3 - 6 pm at the John J Wood “Field of Dreams” behind Woody’s gas station, West End
wednesday, oct 12 Honduran Columbus Day
All national and local government offices and most commercial establishments will be closed for the day.
West End Players Live at The Blue Channel, West End
EVERY SATURDAY West End Players Live at Beachers, West Bay Beach
EVERY SUNDAY Jimmy & the Boys live at Barefeet Bar, West End
>>got a hot event? Email editor@roatannewtimes.com 20
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Aurelio’s garifuna coastal pop politician/MUSICIAN FINds a home with nirvana’s label
By Laura Onstot
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he first beats are simple, wavering chords, setting a basic outline. A strong steel drum leads in the guitar, seducing hips into swaying. Aurelio Martinez gives his listener a few measures to settle into his Caribbean home before he begins his song’s story—a tale of a sailor returned from sea for the birth of a son who just might not be his. Martinez’s voice is simultaneously breezy and joyful, while also a bit strained, as one might be in that rather uncomfortable position. But he’s well-positioned in the marketplace: Martinez is signed to world-music imprint Next Ambiance, which is overseen by Sub Pop Records – the Seattle label that was home to Nirvana. That band’s Nevermind (1991) and The Postal Service’s Give Up (2003) made millions for Sub Pop. The entirety of Laru Beya, released earlier this year, is an exercise in blended experience, recorded in studios from Honduras to Senegal. Like “Lubara Wanwa,” the sailor’s saga that opens the ROATAN new TIMES.com
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album, some of Martinez’s songs are whimsical stories of life on the Honduran coast where he grew up, while others carry a far darker, more political tone. Martinez is a Garifuna (the people living here in Punta Gorda
and schools. The political oppression of the Garifuna inspires the weightier songs on Laru Beya. Atlántida (capital: La Ceiba) is the coastal region where Martinez makes his home and where Garínagu are in the majority. As far as he
“You don’t get elected to congress unless you have a strong personality.” ______________________________ and in small settlements on the north shore of the mainland), our wondrous ethnic minority descended from people who were booted from a slave ship bound from Africa to the Americas and dumped off here on Roatan. Their experience has paralleled that of African Americans in the U.S. A history of violence, suppression, and segregation has left much of the population in areas underserved by essentials like roads
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knew, his ethnic group had never been represented in the Honduran government. So in 2006, though he claimed to “dislike politics and politicians,” he ran for Congress and won a seat. “It was a necessity for my people to have political representation,” Martinez says now, speaking via Skype with his collaborator, Belizean musician Ivan Duran, aiding the translation. “We were giving hope to the youth; they could
see that one of their own was representing them in Congress.” While Martinez was recording, touring, and changing politics in South America, Jon Kertzer— known to Seattleites as the host of KEXP’s world-music show Best Ambiance—also had a big 2010. Kertzer had just partnered with Sub Pop to launch Next Ambiance and the imprint’s first order of business was to sign Malian artist Bassekou Kouyate. Together they released I Speak Fula, an album that debuted at #5 on the Billboard world-music chart and was nominated for a Grammy in the Best Traditional World Music Album category—an honor on both counts, even if Kertzer bristles a bit at the worldmusic tag. “People don’t necessarily think of Bob Marley as a world-music artist, they just think of him as a great artist,” he says. “That’s how I think of Aurelio.” Kertzer says it took months to find a second project after I Speak Fula because “we loved the first one so much.” He was well acquainted 21
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with Duran and had known of Martinez since first seeing him perform at the 2007 WOMEX, an annual world-music expo held in Europe. Like Duran, Kertzer was drawn to Martinez’s effusive friendliness. “He is very talented musically, but he’s also got a personal thing going,” he says. “You don’t get elected to something like that [the Honduran Congress] unless you have a strong personality.” It’s more legend than certain history, Duran says, but his understanding is that the Garifuna people were sold to slave traders from their native Africa. Then, he says, two ships crashed just off the Caribbean island of St. Vincent. The people escaped to Roatan. Of course, here on the island, versions differ. Over the years, the Africans blended not only their ethnicity, but their culture with the natives of Central America. Garifuna music is an apt metaphor for the people itself. “It’s a very unique music,” Duran says, describing it as a blend of “African with a lot of native Caribbean and 22
Spanish elements and even some from North America.” The Garifuna drum, created by stretching an animal hide taut over a hollowed hardwood shell, bears a strong physical resemblance to the African djembe and possesses a similar rich, hollow tone. In the late ‘90s, when he met Duran, Martinez was one of the few people in the world still playing the music known as paranda, a genre that traces its roots to the origins of the Garínagu. Duran compares it to the music of medieval troubadours—men with guitars writing songs about the world around them. Duran was making a paranda album and invited Martinez to join him in Belize to record. Those paranda songs carry the same blend of African percussion, nearly mariachi-sounding guitar, and Caribbean swing that’s also heard on Laru Beya—not considered a paranda record—but it’s more pared-down, lacking Laru Beya’s modern twists of electronics and collaborations with rap artists. In 1997, Duran thought of Martinez as he was putting together
an album of paranda music. Most of the musicians were over 50, he says, but at 28 Martinez was trying to resuscitate the art form. Martinez traveled to Belize to record with Duran, birthing a recording partnership that shows no signs of flagging. Four albums later, the two have traveled all over the world, playing music of the Garínagu and blending it with other artists and instruments like electric guitar and piano. In his four years in Congress, Martinez didn’t limit himself to roads and classrooms. He was instrumental in establishing the Ministerio de las Etnias, a governmental agency devoted to ensuring that the Garínagu and other ethnic minorities in Honduras aren’t left out or discriminated against. The Garínagu also became more politically active as a whole, Martinez says. “There are a lot more protests; there are a lot more marches.” While Martinez has left his political life, he hasn’t abandoned the fight for equality for the Garifuna people. “This is definitely only the
beginning,” he says. It’s also only the beginning for Martinez and Duran. The music they have made together is evolving with Laru Beya. With a sound that incorporates so many places and cultures already, the two men decided to see what else they could bring to it in the form of modern instruments and Afropop artists. “For the first time, we opened the music up to a lot of other influences.” Now that musical and cultural experience is about to get wide distribution north of the Caribbean, thanks to the Sub Pop deal. Duran says they made the decision to sign with Kertzer because of his years of support for musicians who sometimes have to fight for attention or respect in their home countries. “He [Kertzer] has always had a close relationship with Garifuna music,” Duran says. “I’m extremely excited. When it’s live, it’s just Aurelio connecting with his ancestors.”
A different version of this story originally ran in the Seattle Weekly.
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DJ Profile: Sambula by Jeff Stratton
DJ
Sambula (Elder Daniel Gutierrez) has been a fixture at Roatan dance parties and on radio stations for years. The 37-year-old with the weekday show (MondayThursday from 7-10 pm on Roatan Radio, 101.1 FM) tells how he came up the hard way. RNT: How did you wind up at Roatan Radio? DJS: Well, the station I was on (106.5) turned into a Christian station, and I was doing … a different thing. RNT: How did you learn to DJ? DJS: I didn’t go to any school, I just get into music from the time I’m small and I keep doing it. The real DJ I followed was Alberto Alverez. We used to call him DJ Pepay. He showed me how to do it. We used tape players back then. While the music’s playing, you gotta get one more song ready, so you’d use two tape players. You’d have to rewind fast-fast before the next song. After the tapes I started with CDs. Now I just come in and play music!
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RNT: Where is he now? DJS: He’s in New York. He used to DJ in Roatan a long time ago. He got me the job at 106.5. I was terrified. I was frightened the first time I went on the air. But he tells me, “There’s nobody watching, they’re only listening. I just want to make sure you’re clear, that people can understand you.” RNT: How did you learn to talk so fast? DJS: Do I talk fast? They tell me that a lot: “Slow down, we can’t hear the phone numbers ‘cause you talk so fast.” I don’t think I talk fast, I don’t know. When you only have a few hours and minutes, and people are calling, so you just (snaps fingers) go fast because the time goes fast. RNT: Who are some of your musical heroes? DJS: Bob Marley, Gregory Isaacs, Peter Tosh … Lucky Dube, can’t live without him! And country music, George Jones… RNT: How did Roatan come to love George Jones so much? DJS: People from here used to go on shrimp boats. They’d go out and they’d hear U.S. stations, mostly from Southern states that would play a lot of George Jones and they’d bring the tapes back home and spread it around.
Dj Sambula back in the day at his old job. He’s now on 101.1 FM, Roatan Radio.
RNT: And how did you get the name Sambula? DJS: I’m not originally from Roatan, I’m from Ceiba. My mom brought me here was I was 12. As you know, the biggest sport in Honduras is soccer. But when my mom bring me here, the biggest sport on the island was baseball, not soccer. I couldn’t speak English, and all the kids speak English, and they don’t play soccer, only baseball. So I had to blend in.” When I was 15 I wanted to play in the big leagues -- the Pirates in Sandy Bay. And when I go to bat, Larry McLaughlin is sitting in the back and he says, “Who is this guy?”
The coach tells him, “A guy I bring from the mainland.” And Larry goes, “this guy don’t know nothing about baseball -- he play soccer! Look at him, he look just like Sambula!” Sambula was a big player, The main man on mainland. And that was it. After that, I’m Sambula, Sambula, Sambula. So when I start the music thing I just kept the name. RNT: Do you ever go back to Ceiba? DJS: I’m scared of Ceiba now. I can’t go back to my hometown. Roatan all the way! This is my home!
cd review :: Arroz y Frijoles Artist: DIA REA Title: Arroz y Frijoles Label: Self Released Musical comedy of a most un-commerical type: A pair of nutty Austrians travel through Central America for nine months in a converted schoolbus. Perhaps during that time they ate something disagreeable -hence the name of the project. Though not specifically about Roatan, the bus trip did pass through Honduras, and Adi from Brion James’ band was one of the masterminds. Once the trip was over, the pair recorded Arroz y Frijoles in their basement studio in Graz, Austria. The project, originally intended to be simple, grew into a major production. What was once a skeleton of guitar, shaker, and voice was fully fleshed-out with horns, keyboard, bass and samples galore. Though most of the album is sung in Spanish and the humor is distinctly Austrian but would not be lost on most Central Americans. Still, the songs are unlikely to connect with an ROATAN new TIMES.com
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Austrian audience. Expats may laugh along with “Gringo,” in which an Antiguan visitor asks, “Why do they call me gringo?” in response to locals telling him to get lost. “Horno Viejo,” according to Adi, tells the story of a guy at a party’s end, when all of the young women have been taken. Only the old ladies are left. But it’s OK, someone at the bar tells him: “I learned to cook on an old stove.” A dubby bassline, sly steel drums and a slinky synth push along “Hotel Garifuna,” which changes the Eagles’ hit into a bubbly ode to Belizian ganja. While a self-produced disc, the quality remains remarkably strong throughout. —Jeff Stratton
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going deep
First Things first by Diver Dan
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ere are four pieces of scuba diving gear that are necessary for your scuba diving safety. I make a point of having them with me on every single dive. A day-long diving excursion can be an enjoyable but exhausting adventure. My experience in the water has shown me the importance of carrying these potentially lifesaving items for you and your dive buddy. • A surface marker of some kind is the cheapest piece of dive equipment you can buy besides a whistle, which is also needed at all times. An inflatable safety sausage can be seen with the unaided eye -even in choppy seas from a long way off. Nowadays, you can find brands that also have a strip of reflective tape that’ll light up brightly when it is hit with any kind of light. • A dive light, preferably LED, as it lasts a lot longer than a conventional bulb. At night, if you find yourself adrift, you can catch the attention of passing boats, helicopters or airplanes. If they’re searching for you at night, you dramatically increase the odds of being seen. I keep one in my pocket all the time as I like to scope out caves or check little holes for strange critters. I get a lot of use out of my pocket light, always knowing in the back of my mind that I have it should I get lost or go missing into the night. • A dive knife is also a must-have piece of diving equipment. I was diving from a live-aboard boat with a group, was looking at something, lost track of time … and got separated. As I was heading to the pickup spot, I nearly swam into a large, nearly invisible underwater net! It would’ve been extremely easy to 24
become entangled, like those dolphins you hear about. Without a knife, I would have had a very hard time extricating myself. It’s also a great tool for signaling by banging on the side of the tank as the sound carries better than you think. In fact, that’s a great trick to know. • You need a dive computer. They’re not too inexpensive and they last for years. While it’s neccessary to understand the old analog gauges with tables and charts, nowadays this easy-to-use piece of dive gear easily calculates depths and times. The bends? Something that you don’t want to risk. Having a dive computer lets you know -- right there on your wrist or dive console -- exactly where you are. It also tell you how much of a decompression stop you should make if you accidentally exceed the safe limits on your planned dive profile. But never stop doing your dives by hand, too, when you get back on board. As good as computers are, they can fail, so you should never forget your dive class instructions on how to calculate your dives the old-fashioned way. Just remember this mantra most of all: plan your dive, and dive your plan, and be prepared with the right equipment. ROATAN new TIMES.com
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kill ’em all, let the restaurants sort ’em out
going deeper
by The Lionfish Slayer
Que Pasa Gringos, People have asked me what I have against lionfish and why do I want to kill them so badly? Well, the reason is simple. The lionfish are an introduced species. They are from the Indian and Pacific Oceans. There is no way that these tropical fish could have swum around the southern tips of South America or Africa to get here. Once again humans have screwed around with nature´s balance and I feel we have a responsibility to at least try to correct our mistake the best we can. Lionfish eat almost anything that is about a third of their size or less. This is not a problem by itself because they do this in their natural habitat, but it´s a problem here because nothing eats them! There are no natural predators here to control their numbers and therefore lionfish numbers are growing exponentially. I think they will eventually wipe out many native
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species of fish and crustaceans, and thereby change the entire reef ecosystem irreversibly. They are also wiping out fish that groom the coral so they will eventually wipe out the coral too. The only possible way I can see to solve this environmental catastrophe is to teach some of the local fish to hunt lionfish for themselves. In their natural habitat lionfish predators include groupers, sharks, and moray eels. They haven´t evolved to hunt lionfish here in the Caribbean but I think they can be taught over time. I personally think that if there is to be a savior of our reef it will be the Nassau grouper. Sharks, morays and other groupers won´t follow you into canyons and overhangs where lionfish like to hide, whereas Nassau groupers do. One really cool thing to be able to do is pat the Nassau groupers like dogs while hunting with them. They
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are great hunting companions. They seem to have the ability to learn quite quickly too. They will often take small lionfish straight off the spear the instant you shoot them. For the bigger lionfish they will patiently wait for you to cut them up before attempting to eat them. I am hoping that they will eventually start eating the small lionfish themselves. It doesn´t really solve the problem of the bigger lionfish yet, but it´s a start, and that´s where we divers come into the equation. So my message to you is -kill ‘em all! If you would like to learn how to hunt lionfish safely and responsibly, contact the Roatan Marine Park Office in West End. Recently I´ve been trying a new technique of using my peripheral vision to line up the target. This is because I think the lionfish can recognise the “I´m going to kill you” look in your eyes, or what I commonly refer to as “The Look of Death.” When older lionfish see the look of death in your eyes, they know to swim away. If you don’t give them that look until the last split second before you make the shot, I reckon you increase your chance of making the shot. So, in other words, you should line the shot up as best as
possible using your peripheral vision, and then after you move your straightened arm slowly into point blank range, you take a quick glance just before making the shot. . It’s much easier than you think, but it’s something you do need to practice to stay on top of your game. I recently did an amazing dive during a Rescue Course. We ran into two green moray eels that were side by side, parallel to each other. The male was about 4 feet long and the female was 5 feet long but at least twice the size in weight because it was so thick and chunky. They just checked us out and didn´t move. I then spotted a big lionfish nearby and shot it. I started cutting it up and fed some of it to the female. The female looked at it at first and eventually grabbed it with its mouth and then swam away. I continued cutting up and scaling the lionfish, and the next thing you know the male swam towards me and started biting my fin. I wondered what I did to piss the eel off. Then after some thought I guessed that maybe they were about to mate, and I´d be pissed off too if I was about to get laid and some other creature totally screwed up my chances!
The way to solve this catastrophe is to teach some of the local fish to hunt lionfish for themselves.
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island stew-down
All Up In Your Grill West End Landmark still brings the meat by The Pirate Gourmet
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or years, the stalwart Argentinean Grill has provided tourists and wellheeled locals with the most popular joint for a red meat/red wine fix. It’s almost always busy and definitely knows how to bring the South American steak experience to the masses. Upon entering the restaurant we we’re quickly greeted and whisked to our table. Moving at warp speed, a server arrived asking what we’d like to drink. Since we hadn’t yet seen any menus, our minds were a blank. Our server noticed this and returned promptly with menus in 26
hand. We opted for a bottle of Chilean Malbec which our server struggled with. He ended up breaking the cork, but returned with a new bottle. As our evening progressed we were swarmed by seemingly every server the establishment had on payroll, however after explaining we’d prefer to be served by our one original waiter, all went well. The overall presentation seemed sub-par, with dishes looking thrown together haphazardly. However, the taste and portion sizes quickly subdued our initial concerns. The deep fried calamari appetizer
was bountiful and was perfectly cooked, crisp to the lips, yet very tender on the palate. The sauce accompaniment was an nontraditional tangy tartar sauce that seemed to overwhelm to the gentle flavors of the squid. But when we asked for some lime wedges to squeeze, we were quickly transported to calamari heaven. Of the two entrees we tried, the catch of the day, a grilled 12-ounce portion of fresh fillet of tuna, won hands-down. Served with two sides, a twice-baked potato (that had seen better days) and a green salad, quite simply this dish should become menu standard.
The second entrée was a 1/2 portion of beef tenderloin, a choice piece of Honduran beef cooked over hardwood coals in their outdoor BBQ pit. At first bite, savory flavors abounded, however, I discovered the meat to be much too rare for my liking. Ordered cooked medium, it was clearly under done. . After explaining my dilemma to our overly attentive server the meat was quickly returned to the BBQ chef and cooked to my taste. Now my taste buds came alive, especially when I topped my humongous steak with their homemade chimichurri sauce, bursting with garlic. This entrée was served with a choice of two sides. The options included a twice-baked potato, salad, stir fried veggies or rice. I opted for the rice and veggies, no fanfare here -- just plain white rice and a mixture of local vegetables, drowning in what appeared to be margarine. The atmosphere, across the street from the beach, is open air-seating with plenty of ceiling fans to keep things cool, mellow music, and low overhead lighting. Although the restaurant was buzzing with patrons, the mood was calm and unobtrusive.
The Argentinean Grill is located in front of the Hotel Posada Arco Iris, in the middle of Half Moon Bay, West End. Price Range $10 to $30 USD Credit cards: Yes Tax: included, tip is not Vegetarian options also available. Hours: 9 am to 10 pm, closed Monday Offering Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner Easy access and street parking available. No handicap access. Reservations and walk-ins welcome Seating enough for large groups and parties Kid friendly Take-out available Reservations: 2445-4264 ROATAN new TIMES.com
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LIVING IT UP
Rumology #2 by Chef Francis Among premium rums on the market, such as Pirate XO, Flor De Cana Centenario and The Kraken, aging in oak barrels is a key element to producing a superior product. Barrels used to age whiskey and bourbon are common. The alcohols in the rum interact with the wood to add subtle flavors, extract color and develop a smooth characteristic that is highly desirable in aged rums. Another method for maturing rum is in new oak barrels, often charred to an alligator-skin type texture, giving the rum a stronger interaction with the wood element in the maturing process. The size of the barrel makes a difference as well – in this case, size does matter as Other rums are aged in barrels previously used for sherry, cognac, port and other distillates, imparting their own unique characteristics. Because methods of maturing can vary greatly, the simple age statement on a bottle of rum is not always an indication of the maturity of the spirit. Rums gain gold and amber hues as they mature. Some distillers use burnt sugar or caramel coloring to further enhance or balance the color for consistency. Many dark rums gain most of their rich color and often their full-bodied flavor from caramel or molasses. Over time, some water and alcohol evaporates from the aging barrel. This missing liquid has long been called the “angel’s share.” The result? Numerous drunk angels! When evaluating fine rums, one should examine the color, clarity and viscosity of rums by holding a tasting glass up to a light source and swirling the product. The resulting drips of liquid on the glass, known as “legs,” offer an indication of the range of thin or thick characteristics. The rich color of the rum may indicate a level of maturity compared ROATAN new TIMES.com
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to other products. Exceptional clarity may indicate sophisticated filtering methods have been used. The master blender of a fine spirit is the rock star of the organization, possessing great talents and abilities necessary to create the unique products of that brand. There area few mysteries and closely guarded secrets involved in the aging and blending of fine spirits. In many cases, aged rums are blended, and then stored in barrels again to further mature and “marry the flavors” before bottling the final product. One unique method of blending, known as the Solera Method, involves adding small amounts of newer rum to barrels of aged rum as the angel’s share is depleted. After many years, the resulting marriage of rums of many ages can create a complex blend often described as a symphony of flavors. One such fine rum, The Ron Zacapa Centanario 23, produced by our Guatemalan neighbors, is a favorite of the author I recommend you treat yourself. Do it today, you’ll be happy you did. So the next time you belly up to your favorite bar, ask your tender to show you his rums. Sample a few and judge for yourself. You may find a new appreciation for rum or just become addicted to the golden nectar of the Gods. At the very least, you’ll be the most interesting person there with all your new found rum knowledge. 27
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recipe
GINGER CHICKEN WITH FRESH ASIAN StYLE NOODLES For more product information contact: Philia Del Mar~Sandy Bay~ 9994-7359 philiadelmar@yahoo.com Most of these ingredients can be found all over the island: we’ve got plenty of chicken, that’s for sure. But check out the different grocery stores (Eldon’s, Plaza Mar, etc.) because sometimes you’ll find better ginger at one place, fresher cilantro at another and so forth. The Asian noodles can be found at Mangiamo, The Bulk Gourmet and Eldon’s. This is a nice dish to prepare when the weather is wicked hot.
Ingredients: 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 1 onion finely sliced 3 garlic cloves, chopped finely 4 skinless boneless chicken breasts, cut into cubes 2 carrots, julienned 1/2 pint chicken stock 1 red pepper, julienned (optional) 4 tablespoons soy sauce Thumb-sized chunk of 8 oz canned bamboo shoots, rinsed & drained 8 oz Fresh Asian Style Noodles For garnish: 4 scallions, sliced on the diagonal 1 handful of fresh cilantro leaves
PROCEDURE Heat the oil in a wok or large skillet and stir fry the onion, garlic, ginger, red pepper and carrots for 1-2 minutes, until softened. Add the chicken and stir fry for 3-4 minutes, until the chicken is cooked through and lightly brown. Add the stock, soy sauce and bamboo shoots and gradually bring to boil. Meanwhile, cook the fresh Asian Style Noodles, then add to wok. Garnish with scallions and cilantro and serve immediately.
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Island flavor Las Rocas West Bay Beach www.lasrocasresort.com Next to Bite on the Beach, at the very end of West Bay is Las Rocas dive shop and resort, as well as this casual eatery. Long known as a fun place to grab a burger and a Salva Vida, Las Rocas now boasts the Trattoria da Piero, a Caribbean/Italian waterfront restaurant heavy on fresh-fish specialities.
Sundowner’s West End on the beach www.roatanonline.com/ sundowner/ 445-4570 A long-running beach side institution, Sundowner’s is basically Roatan’s paralleluniverse Cheers, where every local knows every other. It’s a classic seaside dive, among West End’s best, and it’s perfectly situated to watch the sun sink into Half Moon Bay. Did we mention it’s always
stocked with cold, cheap beer it sells a ton of? They’re always manning battle-weary blenders, too, for mixing up MonkeyLalas and such. And the food? It comes flying out of a small kitchen across the street, with a great Angus burger.
Blue Parrot Sandy Bay 9558-4245 Closed Sunday The Blue Parrot’s menu is unique, seeing as it’s masterminded by a Chinese/ Jamaican cook. That means you can order spicy jerk chicken and chow mein, chop suey or fried rice - even together! The jerk shrimp salad is excellent, loaded with fresh veggies. The Char Sui ribs are Chinese-style glazed with island spices. Plus there’s festival, bammy, all the JA accouterments you’d expect-even Red Stripe every once in a while. If you remember the Blue Parrot from years back, with
your host, Bob, it’s changed dramatically since then. Well worth a visit, especially if you’ve visited Jamaica...or Shanghai.
They’re loaded with yummy scallions and crema and make for a belly-busting experience.
Marlyn’s Restaurant
West Bay Village 2445-5035 (Mo-Sa 8am-5pm)
Gibson Bight marlynsroatanhotelnfood.com 447-3097 For a quick and filling roadside meal, you can’t do much better than pay a visit to Marlyn, who’ll sit and converse with you about the weather or whatnot while you wait on fried chicken, conch stew, roast pork or whatever island dish fits your fancy. Nothing complicated here, just your standard beans/rice/plantains with a side of meat - island food prepared the way islanders have done it for generations.
Tong’s THai Island Cuisine
Mangiamo maintains a chic selection of ethnic food, basic necessities, wine, beer and liquor. Popular with beachcombing tourists but still a favorite with locals who want air conditioning with their Eggs Benedict breakfast (or Frenchdip lunch), Mangiamo isn’t known for low prices, but for giving you a slice of a cozy, sophisticated place to shop and hang out. Brits will find favorites from back home. Credit cards accepted.
Bella Napoli Pizza Sandy Bay 445-3201 (10 am-10 pm daily)
West End 2445-4369 When a restaurant is markedly more expensive than its neighbors, you’ve got to ask if it’s worth it. At Tong’s, the portions sure don’t justify the prices. It’s the quality that makes Tong’s cost more. Tong and his staff are from Thailand, and it shows in every dish. But there aren’t many choices if you want Thai food on the island. And you’ll find Thai dishes every bit as tasty and authentic as any you’ve tried - just bring a lot of lemps.
Years ago, when this genuinely Italian joint opened on the road in Sandy Bay, it enjoyed a spell of big-league popularity. The initial buzz has fallen off considerably but Bella Napoli still dishes out thin-crust pizzas fired in a wood oven with innovative names and reasonable prices. Take yours home in a monogrammed box or there’s a huge, pleasant outdoor patio as well. Also serving wine, beer, and soft drinks.
Bite on the Beach
West Bay 2445-5069
West Bay Beachwww. biteonthebeach.com 403-8054 Closed Sunday & Monday
There’s more than a little irony in Celeste’s mission: selling a $9 baleada on an island where the going price of such an item is rarely more than a buck. But the joke’s on you if you don’t check out these hearty and handsome creations. These gourmet baleadas are extravagantly packed with shrimp, lobster or grouper if you want the full-on experience.
A West Bay landmark, Bite on the Beach anchors one end of the West Bay collection of dive shops and eateries. A big spot for frozen drinks and sunsetwatching, Bite on the Beach cooks up a big variety of Caribbean-themed entrees (lots of fresh fish cooked any way you want), great peanut satay and a lot of salads as well.
Celeste’s Island Cuisine
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Mangiamo! Market and Delicatessen
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Kid-friendly to boot!
The Lighthouse West End on Half Moon Bay 2445-1209 The Lighthouse is slow-paced and casual during the day, with a great breeze. Sunday brunch is a fairly big production, a L300 blow-out featuring eight different entrees to choose from, homemade blueberry coffee cake, and non-stop champagne. Dinner offers high-end steak and lobster dishes, tons of fresh fish, shrimp up the wazoo, and fantastic place to watch the stars and the waves at night. When you’re in West End, find the footpath between Reef Gliders, across from Waves of Art. Take that to the beach and you’re nearly there.
Cannibal Cafe West End 2445-4026 (10:30am-10pm Closed Sundays This West End institution promises “no one leaves hungry,” which is likely true. We submit the legendary Kevin’s big Kahuna burrito as Exhibit A. If you can eat the whole thing (which is the size of a newborn human infant) you eat for free, if you’re still alive. The Cannibal’s take on Mexican food won’t strike anyone as authentic, but it’s a popular place for drivers and tourists to grab a bite and a few margaritas. Don’t miss the anafres, a yummy bean/cheese/ tortilla concoction, the giant quesadillas, or the fish tacos. Try a chocolate/banana smoothie for dessert.
Ooloonthoo Restaurant West End road www.ooloonthoo.com 9936-5223 (daily 5pm-10pm) Ooloonthoo is Honduras’s only Indian restaurant. A meal here is an experience, an epiphany even. The dishes are presented with artistic flair galore definitely bring your camera to this place! - and the setting is something straight out of a Bollywood romance, a huge temple-like A-frame high on a hill. The outstanding food is full-on four-star: spicy pork vindaloo from Goa, Trinidadian curry beef, Rajasthani red lamb curry. There’s papadums and naan, naturally. Chef Paul James studied in India intensely and quite seriously, it would seem - and his wife, Soden, always makes visitors feel personally doted on. Ooloonthoo is reservation only; you must call a day in advance
Blue Bahia Beach Grill Sandy Bay www.bluebahiaresort.com/ mealpackages.html 445-3385 Closed Tuesday Owned and operated by burly expat Kent Burnes (who oversees a smoker pit and an array of barbecued delicacies), ROATAN new TIMES.com
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Island flavor
Blue Bahia has one of the biggest -- and best -- menus on the island. This is the place to come when your usual, normal hankering for ribs cascades into a debilitating obsession. Blue Bahia can handle your habit. Other outstanding favorites include almond- and cashewcrusted fish and shrimp; coconut lobster, pulled-pork sandwiches, awesome steaks and daily fresh fish specials. A bit on the pricy side, but this is probably the very best beach dining in Sandy Bay. Credit cards accepted.
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to reserve a dinner seating. Credit cards accepted.
ArgentinIAN Grill West End www.roatanposada.com/ restaurante.html The ever-popular Argentinean Grill is the place to go when you want a big, giant grilled hunk of dead cow. Seriously, when paired with a bottle of good Chilean cab, these steaks stand up to some of the island’s best. The sides are nothing to snivel at, either. As West End restaurants go, this is one of the more expensive places for dinner, but rest assured, you’ll have a close encounter with a truly large slab o’ delicious meat. Since, however, it’s Honduran beef, there are times even a filet is a bit more than al dente. If you’re not a carnivore, don’t despair - the menu is
extensive and there are plenty of other options. Credit cards accepted.
Creole’s Rotisserie Chicken West End 2 pm - 10 pm Closed Monday 9879-1767 A tried and true local favorite that never changes - not even the plastic tables and chairs get switched out. Pumping out quality roasted fowl and fried shrimp, French fries, cole slaw, and amazing coconut rice ‘n beans - all perfect, every single time - sometimes we question the need for any other eatery to exist. You may have to wait for a table some nights, but this laid-back little shack is well worth the wait.
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beer, BJ’s the kind of relic you’d probably never stumble upon on your own, but which shouldn’t be missed. The rum-sauced bread pudding is unforgettable.
Gio’s French Harbor 445-5536 or 5126 Flowers Bay
Rudy’s West End 2445-4203 Sure, Rudy’s makes a killer tipico breakfast served with strong coffee. But there’s really just two simple reasons we love Rudy’s. One would have to be the banana pancakes - little flapjacks of joy that are gloriously simple, and delicious. Reason two are the amazing fresh fruit smoothies. They’re gigantic, for one thing, and the choices are endless. The usual suspects linger (coconut, banana, mango, etc) but some less-typical offerings (mamey and guanabana, for instance, loiter as well.
Sunshine Beach bar and grille Sandy Bay www.roatanbeachcomber. com/sunshine_cafe.htm 9929-4720 Down a winding road at the east end of Sandy Bay takes you to the water and the Hobbie’s Hideaway resort. Someone will always be happy to fix you a cold drink or grab you a beer or glass of wine, and 32
you can always snorkel right off the pier if you want. The new menu features a ton of huge Tex-Mex dishes like tacos, chili rellenos and chimichangas. The Sunshine Cafe is affordable as well: three burgers with fries for L100, and a free cup of soup if you’re there drinking enough.
BJ’s Backyard Oak Ridge www.roatanonline.com/bj_ backyard/ A trip to Oak Ridge would stand as criminally incomplete without a stop at BJ’s. Removed in time, like you’re in a movie, this backwoods little shack on the water is as homey and primitive as it gets, a living remnant of a time when life on Roatan moved a lot slower than it does now. Colorful atmosphere? Local gossip? Gallons of bug spray? George Jones on the jukebox? It’s all here. You can sit in an old rocking chair with your beer and swear you’re in the Keys somewhere. BJ bakes her own French bread daily, and there’s always fresh fish around. A dandy spot to tie up your boat and pop in for a burger and a
Gio’s is an upscale seafood restaurant with an airconditioned room, a nice dining room, and a big deck on the water. Big reasons to go include the king crab dinner, which comes with gallons of garlic butter and has stained many a nice shirt. Delicious. You can get a variety of sauces here to accompany your fish - the jalapeno is righteous - and every fish comes grilled, broiled, or fried. A very classy joint with a stiff breeze off the water, this restaurant is mentioned quite a bit in the Roatan-based crime novel The Judas Bird. Credit cards accepted.
Lands end - Green flash West End 9817-8994 closed Tuesday Land’s End, a bit off the beaten path, is a novel discovery. Its façade hides from the road one of the most stunning, 180° panoramas of sea, sky, and ironshore, with a saltwater pool and sunsets every day of the year. It’s always been feast/ famine with the restaurant in flux, but now Land’s End is rocking once again. Don’t miss freshly-caught lionfish, live music on Wednesdays, and a relaxed, casual vibe that can’t be found anywhere else. Maybe your best option on a Monday evening when so many other places are closed.
Big House Burger Megaplaza Mall French Harbour 2480-5233 A very close approximation of a
mainland hambuergesaria, big house beats its neighbor, Wendy’s, in every department. A bona-fide Honduran fast food joint, you always get a/c, a waiter and table service at Big House. But eschew the hand sanitizer, unless you’re filthy and/or you want your meal to reek of rubbing alcohol. The burgers here range from poco and sencilla (small and simple) to mammoths packed with patties and toppings, -- and you better believe Wendy Thomas cries every time you take a bite. They have every other Central American fast-food fave as well, from pupusas to tostadas to tacos. Not a baleada in sight, but Big House is every bit as Honduran as Lempira’s profile.
Besos Restaurant AND Lounge West End 3302-6093 If you want to take a hot date to a cool place, Besos is pretty hard to beat. The swank interior design skills and culinary guidance of owner Daphne Newman translate into an upscale open-air palapa popular with locals and tourists. Tapas, killer tuna tostadas, mango ceviche (yum) and some of the most creative cocktails on the island make Besos a romantic, dimly lit jewel of West End. Proof that there is, indeed, a martini for everyone.
The Lily Pond House West End 9754-0306 The Lily Pond House is located in West End, right by the turn to the submarine. This secluded garden boasts a beautiful lily pond and fabulous restaurant as well as bed and breakfast accommodations. Proprietor Zak, originally from England, started The Lily Pond bed & breakfast five years ago; its been serving satisfied customers for almost two years. Chef Luis, from Tegucigalpa, offers an international menu of seafood,
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steaks, pork chops and more. Be careful -- you may fill up on fresh bread before dinner comes!
Fresh Bakery and Cafe Alba Plaza/Gibson Bight 7am - 3pm closed Monday 9745-6189 Everyone from real estate agents to divemasters crowd this place early, looking for a morning cup of joe to open their eyes. The fruit-filled Danishes are the bomb, perfect little items to pair with your coffee. Big lunchtime sandwiches range from an Italian beef to a chopped-turkey delight.
The Hungry Munky West Bay Wall Closed Mondays 8990-4103 On Roatan, it’s hard to find anyone making an authentic South or Central American hot dog. You can make one your own or order up a Nacho Dog down at the Hungry Munky. You get a perfect Vienna dog with cheese, ketchup, mustard, mayo, crushed corn chips, and relish. The other sandwiches are hardcore goodness, too: this place roasts its beef and turkey in-house. Every permutation possible of hot dog (and Polish sausage) is possible here.
Herby’s Sports Grille French Harbour 2445-7653 A state-of-the-art space that has it all, including one killer view. The room’s lined with 31 TVs, so you can watch the Spurs/Lakers game and a boxing match at the same time, play Texas Hold ‘Em, or compete in an online trivia contest. You’ll find the only tap beer (Bud, Sam Adams, and Guinness) on the island. They’ve squeezed a gaggle of hot chicas into referee outfits. The food is high-quality and exactly like back home -- but so ROATAN new TIMES.com
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inexpensive you think the price is a typo (check out the pizza and you’ll see what we mean). With a cutting-edge cook (Dino from Romeo’s), Salva Vida selling for 40 lemps like the good old days, great burgers, steak sandwiches and typical pub grub, Herby’s concept is genius. With a side of sweet potato fries.
The Pineapple Grill French Harbour 9891-0566 Breakfast 7-10 am, dinner 5-10 pm Herb Morici’s other culinary creation (Herby’s is right upstairs) at Pineapple Villas offers US steaks dry-aged in-house. Roughly modeled after a Ruth Chris’s in the States, the ribeyes, NY strips, and prime rib dinners are high-end but reasonably priced. You’re not gambling with Honduran beef here – each bite is tender and flavorful every time. Check out breakfast, with a nice eggs benedict and (of course) steak and eggs.
The Deck Café West End/The Palms Mon-Sat 8 am-3:30 pm 9920-9767 Owner Garry Wanless grew up in Durban, South Africa, where he learned the art of Indian curries. His well-appointed café sports a nice traditional English breakfast, while lunch and dinner veer toward curries and spicy/sweet skewers, great homemade soups, and crunchy spring rolls. A nice sunset spot with a bit of an ethnic flair, The Deck offers a nice alternative when you’re tired of the same-old.
La Sirena Camp Bay 3320-6004/9461-3700 As long as you’re going all the way out to Camp Bay, you need to pay a lunchtime visit to this adorable palapa built out over the waves. The Sunday BBQ
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can fill the small place, but other days you might just own every table, due to the remote location. But the fish, shrimp, and lobster dishes are islandy, simple and amazingly fresh. A secret find.
Chapi Catrachas West End A consistent and cheap little seatery that’s big on simple Honduran food, popular with divers and backpackers. Pull up a stool at Chapi’s and they’ll deep-fry you a little embroidered pie of flaky dough stuffed with either carne o pollo. They’re only L20, and one of them stuffed inside a baleada sincilla with hot sauce makes a quick and tasty breakfast on the go. But Chapi’s is open all day.
The Hungry Kiwi Café and Bar Lawson Rock/Sandy Bay Mon-Wed 8 am-3 pm Thu-Sat 8 am 9:30 pm Closed Sunday 2445-3295 Though it’s changed hands, the Hungry Kiwi’s menu still features lamb on Thursdays and a prime rib dinner on Saturdays. Now South African influenced instead of New Zealand, the Kiwi is dependable for breakfast, lunch and dinner in air-conditioned comfort. Check out the 5-7 pm happy hour on Friday!
The Wet Spot West End Mon - Thu 7:30 am-Midnight Fri - Sat 7:30 am – 2 am Sun 9 am-10 pm 3371-2827 An all-day joint that lasts late on weekends (the kitchen closes at 9 pm), the Wet Spot is a party spot popular with divers and tourists. Mornings are pastelitos and baleadas, but the menu also includes some of the best fish tacos on the island, an assortment of sandwiches and burgers, a daily happy hour, and some killer cocktails. Don’t miss the bloody mary, served up by Michelle, the Wet Spot’s boss lady, whose acerbic tongue gives the place its inimitable charm.
The Blue Channel West End 9803-4401 For breakfast, you cannot beat the Italian espresso at this sandy-floored institution. At night, the super-thin, crackercrust pizza is outstanding. One pizza is so thin and delicious, if you’re hungry, you might just eat the whole thing yourself. Don’t be ashamed; it’s natural. Friday nights are jamming out with local live music, often til 2 a.m. or later.
Splash Inn
The Vintage Pearl
West End Closed Mondays 9626-7919
West Bay Beach/Bananarama 3311-4455
Authentically Italian, though Juan Marcincak, an Argentine immigrant who used to run the amazing Shark Cave pizzeria, is in charge of the kitchen here. One thick, chewy pie could feed a small family unit. His sandwiches and wraps are among the best on the island, there’s seafood and burgers, and even risotto. The pizza ranges from simple to kitchen34
sink complicated. Two dipping sauces, one roja and one verde, come recommended for the strong of tongue.
At this upscale eatery, oenophiles will froth over the extensive wine list. How about a luxurious 2004 Cabernet Sauvignon from Far Neint in the Napa Valley? Or maybe a Petaluma Reisling from Australia? With 65 different wines, you’ll have choices. Set in a Tuscan-style stone villa, with steak and fish, but an emphasis on prix fixe classics. Leave your shoes at the door.
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Blue Marlin
Haydee’s Island Cuisine
West End
Flowers Bay
Typically popular with a jam packed Thursday karaoke night, the sandwiches, wraps and the like are entirely decent at this ½ seaside, ½ roadside bar. But there’s also a wide assortment of meat and seafood, and a few Dutch specialities as well.
Locals know and love Miss Haydee, the effervescent lady who oversees this tiny seaside shack. Reasons to stop by abound, but one is surely for the taste of a real island burger, made from fresh Honduran ground beef, not a frozen imported patty. Every once in a while, when the frozen hockey puck doesn’t appeal, the sloppy, messy island burger is the right choice. We’d also like to mention that Miss Haydee prepares spectacular fried chicken and the occasional stew-beef specialty.
The Crow’s Nest/ Marble Hill Farms Oak Ridge Marble Hill Farms is best known for its jams and jellies (yum) and their tasting sessions, but we love the battered and fried chicken wings with mutton pepper jelly, the pulled pork sandwich, the pizza and the quesadillas. Yes, it’s quite a drive all the way out there, but well worth it.
Hole in the Wall Jonesville Getting to Hole in the Wall involves a bit of work. There is no road, you leave your car at a gravel lot in Jonesville, and wait at the dock. An observant neighbor radios the bar and tell ‘em you’re there. Then, a kid piloting a small dory comes to pick you up and cart you to Hole in the Wall, which is better experienced in all its brokendown, ramshackle glory than described. This is a place you don’t want to miss if you’re only here for a visit. The menu (bigger than you’d expect) offers lunch and dinner most of the week, with a big BBQ party on Fridays and Sunday. While you’re here, you can count on a dory owner to offer to take you on a mangrove tour – a heck of a lot of fun if you’re game. You don’t really go to Hole in the Wall because you want to shovel the Bay Island’s best surf and turf in your mouth (it’s decent), you come for the experience and to say you did it. Then you return, and tell everyone you did it again.
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EAGLE RAYS West End on the Water The bartenders at this touristy joint will be happy to make a drink for you so stiff you’ll need help walking. Plenty of atmosphere, with an amazing view at sunset and after, Eagle Ray’s is big on lobster, conch, wahoo, tuna, usually brought by boat to the grill to your table. Nothing happens too fast on Roatan, and Eagle Ray’s is no exception, but have a couple beers or rum drinks and wait it out. BOJANGLES/PIZZA INN Coxen Hole/Sun Plaza French Harbour Famous fast food imported from North Carolina (the fried chicken) and Texas (the pizza) this doubled-edged chain packs in the masses. Bojangles serves crispy fried chicken with sides by the boxlaod all day long, but its tasty little chicken sandwiches are pretty cheap and tasty. A Bonjagles lunch in the middle of a hard, hot day can lift one’s spirits considerably. Pizza Inn has its adherents and its detractors, but delivers a consistent product. Families have big chow-downs, and the little pepperoni rolls are popular.
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Earth Mama’s West End Closed Mondays When the road is hot and dusty, the sun is blazing, and you need to find a shady spot to simply chill, come get in the shade at Earth Mama’s. Tucked back in a grove of lime and banana trees, away from the hustle and bustle, Earth Mama’s spells relaxation. When it’s hot you can get a frozen smoothie. Breakfasts are hearty and healthy, and lunches offer plenty of non-hot items to help you cool off. The Thai chicken salad is divine.
Beacher’s West Bay Beach While you can find typical bar grub here – wings, fish fingers, conch fritters – there’s a fantastic grilled chicken salad, USDA ribeyes, tons of fish, even lobster and surf and turf. Saturdays, Beacher’s is rocking with the Brion James Band.
TAKO BISTRO LOUNGE AND SUSHI BAR Sandy Bay/Coral Stone 3382-2282 The brainchild of Chef Josue, an amazing Salvadoran chef with a love of authentic Japanese cuisine, Tako is a second-floor, air-conditioned gem. Offering a wide selection of sashimi, nigiri and rolls with an uniquely island flair, Tako’s comfortable atmosphere and peerless staff have quickly made it the sushi nexus of Roatan. But non raw-fish lovers will find much to rave about as well -- including a one-pound burger and an assortment of fresh fish cooked the way you like.
COCONUT TREE RESTAURANT West End Mon-Sun 10 am-10 pm 2445-4505 The inventive skills of Vincent Bush Jr. are on display at this 36
upstairs bar/restaurant, a classy and romantic spot at the entrance to West End. Influences range from Cajun/ New Orleans cuisine, a smattering of Greek, and some of the best Roatanian cooking on the island.
TITA’S PINK SEAHORSE West End/Sueno del Mar 3382-2282 Tita Mora, one of the best bartenders on the island, runs a great little palapa where the drinks flow, the food is fresh, and fun is had. She cooks burgers, brats, Italian sausage, and special creations like jalapenos stuffed with gouda cheese and wrapped with bacon. Volleyball games at sunset are a blast.
THE LOBSTER POT West End, Past Barefeet Completely off the beaten path, the Lobster Pot is a discovery. Any way lobster can be prepared, you’ll find, even omlettes. The coconut bread is outstanding (makes great French toast, too) and freshsqueezed juices make breakfasts feel extra special. Try the rum-roasted shrimp, a speciality that gives the lobster dishes a run for their money.
new chef with his own amazing home made pizza, the Barking Monkey promises all sorts of fish, lobster, chicken, shrimp, and everything else you’d expect. Friday and Saturdays evenings there’s no cover til 9:30 with half price drinks and beers. Older folks will dig Captain Morgan, who DJs from 7:30 - 10 pm, until the young crowd arrives and it’s all about island music. The owner is remodeling and promises the best restrooms in West End when he’s finished.
KING CRAB RESTAURANT West End Extremely informal and simple, King Crab fires up a huge grill right there next to the road. Everything -- whole fish, shrimp, lobster tail and massive king crab legs and claws-- are thrown over the coals. And that’s it. Don’t come here expecting a hamburger or anything fried. You’ll be disappointed if you do.
BAREFEET RESTAURANT AND BAR West End Ronny, who runs this venerable seaside hut at the end of the road, is famous for real island food. It’s a place islanders come for traditional meals, great conversation, cheap icy-cold beers, and a traditional Sunday BBQ feast that ends up with a ridiculously talented island band jamming out.
360 DEGREES West End Closed Sundays Formerly atop a hill on the way to West Bay, this transplanted eatery offers both traditional Honduran fare and international specialities. Make sure your Spanish skills are sharp! A great place to watch people walk by.
THE BARKING MONKEY at FOSTER’S WEST END BAR GRILLE West End Mon-Thur 11 am-12 Fri-Sat 11 am 2 am Sun 11 am- 10 pm 9869-0779 With a new owner and a great ROATAN new TIMES.com
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THE green
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All The News That Wouldn’t Fit Anywhere Else
I Was Here First!
aSK a pirate
And I Know More About Roatan Than You Ever Will By Daniel K-9 Ebbens, Ph.D Professor Repeatius of Knowitallogy Black Forest College, Winston-Marlboro, W.C.
WHERE DO WE FIND SOME TREASURE? Dear Redbeard, We’ve read so much about Roatan’s legendary pirate past and buried treasure, but I’ve never heard of anyone finding any. I have a fantasy of taking a shovel to a secluded spot and finding riches. Can you point me in the right direction? C’mon, Redbeard! Paul Fitzpatrick Redbeard replies: Arrgh! T’ last time somebody said, “C’mon, Redbeard!” t’ me, he was on t’ end o’ a long plank, with a pool of hungry sharks a-waitin’ for him! So’s ye thinks treasure awaits ye in Calabash Bight, do ye? Well, let me tell you something. I never had any treaaye t’ bury. T’ British and t’ tax collectors made aye o’ that! And at any rate, I was active in t’ 1500s in t’ Mediterranean. If you’re lookin’ t’ speak t’ a Roatan pirate, I think he lives at a resort in West Bay. Go ask him! Avast! _______________________ Each and ev’ry month ,the ghost of old Redbeard appears to answer any and all questions ye can throw at him. Weather, politics, real estate, arcane trivia, buried treasure, plank-walking, care and feeding of parrots or how to make a good macoy... there’s no topic Redbeard ain’t an expert in. Send your questions to feedback@roatantimes.com
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I don’t care how long you’ve been living on Roatan. I possess more knowledge about this place than you could ever accumulate. When I first swam from the Carolinas to Roatan back in 1952, the island was totally different. You can’t possibly imagine. But I can, because I was there. You? Probably not even born yet. Did you spend the first month of your married life in Punta Gorda almost a half-century ago? I didn’t think so. Were you around back when the word “Garifuna” was unheard of, and the old timers referred to themselves as “Caribs?” No? Then you’d best step off, sonny. You’re even not fit to brush the lint from the elbow patches on my tweed jacket! Until you can beat back a pack of wild duppies with a simple incantation, as I learned to do
during a voodoo ceremony near Hottest Sparrow back in 1962, you’re nothing to me. Nothing. Let me just ask you this: do you personally know the names of every single islander living in French Harbour between January 23, 1960, and August 5, 1971? And their pets? Well, I do. Did you ever babysit for Dorothy Jean Reid’s grandfather when he was a toddler? I did. Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. What’s that? Your great-greatgreat-great grandmother was named Esmerelda Bodden Ebanks Galindo Hyde Woods Bush, so you think you know more than me? Think again! Have you written a pair of long-winded, pseudo-historical novels about Roatan? I suspect not. My books, “The Jesus Fish” and its follow-up, “Magenta Sunset,” are big enough to use as
deadly weapons. Top that, amateur. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t actually lived on the island in years, while you’re there fulltime. The prize still goes to me, because I was there first. And I’m smarter. I suspect this editorial will only generate vile comments from those with head stuck up some fairly dark places. Well, I’m prepared for your whining, you pint-sized peanut-gallery peons. Bring it on. You can’t possibly out-argue me. Professor Ebbens is an expert on every subject under the sun. He can also predict the weather with a remarkable degree of accuracy. While he was not born in the Bay Islands, he was injected with pirate DNA at birth. He has lived on Roatan, off and on, since before the very beginning of time.
WHAT ARE WE DOING on roatan THIS MONTH? 16%
Standing in bank line just for the A/C
45%
Looking for lost flip-flop
26%
Struggling to fit into that shrunken wet suit
17%
Listening to “Three Little Birds” for the eleventy billionth time
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THE green
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All The News That Wouldn’t Fit Anywhere Else Jellyfish to hold annual Sting Festival Insisting the event has nothing to do with the former singer for The Police (“out of our price range”), local jellyfish announced last week the waters around Roatan will once again host their annual Sting Festival. “Actually, it’s something we do year-round,” said the jellyfish spokesman. “We’re nearly invisible invertebrates, just kind of floating around out there in the sea. So stinging people is just a way we can say, “Hi!”
Small Island, Big Love Since Roatan has so many single women, men have been coming into the municipal to ask for additional marriage licenses so they can legally have multiple wives. The local government, noting most island men do this anyway, is giving it serious consideration. The law they’re pondering could mean issuing licenses for up to four wives -- if the applicant can prove enough income and that all the women get along with their “sister wives.” The only hindrance to passing the law is reported to be whether the fee per extra wife should be 1000 or 2000 lempiras.
Mud Hole Road to Change Name to “Carefree Scenic Bypass” Tired of a handle that lends it a bad impression, Mud Hole Road is opting for a name change. “It’s really not fair to us,” said a resident of Man 38
‘O War Cay. “It makes people think that during rainy season, this road turns into an axle-breaking, ruttedout, impassable slurry of water, tree limbs, and rock-strewn mud.” The new moniker, “Carefree Scenic Bypass,” is also expected to be used in place of “that crappy dirt road that goes past the dump.”
Betty White Joins LWOP Swim Club Celebrity Betty White, wearing a swim cap adorned with tiny plastic flowers, was spotted swimming in Half Moon Bay with a group of geriatric women from the island swim club, LWOP. She still clocked in at a 40-minute mile. Not bad for a old girl who’s still cursing and kicking it up on Saturday Night Live. She’s also accompanying the gang to Herby’s, where she’s evidently quite the poker fiend. To learn more about LWOP -- Ladies Wishing Only Pleasantries -- and how to join (you absolutely cannot have a penis), dial *69.
“pulls people in.” “For a moment there, we didn’t want to leave – ever,” said Gunderson. Finally, the pair was able to escape when some guy selling pirated movies distracted them with a bootleg copy of The Hangover 2.
Timberlake Spotted Clubbing in West End Though weekends have been slow in West End of late, they sure weren’t when locals saw entertainer Justin Timberlake arm-in-arm with a local island beauty on a recent Saturday. After a few shots at the Booty Bar, he reportedly wolfed down some pad thai at Tong’s before heading to Sundowner’s for a round of Monkeylalas. He left in a huff when Aaron refused to change the channel and let Timberlake watch a preseason Raiders game.
For real paparazzi shots of Timberlake, head over to www.roatannewtimes.com
Yugo and Come Back The old Yugo automobile company has been purchased by a Honduran firm, Nunca Nada Nova. The company is scheduled to roll out a new Yugo that looks the same as it did back in the 70s -- but with a hybrid engine that runs on H2O and comes with electric four-wheel drive. Cruising distance will be about 13 miles on one gallon of water. For how it works and where you can buy one, see page 68.
Roatan Vortex nearly claims tourist pair
A vacationing couple were shaken but unhurt after getting too close to the legendary Roatan Vortex last week. Britons Shellyanne Gunderson, 36, and Michael McCrumplington, 32, said they were simply walking along the beach when they suddenly happened upon the Vortex, a strange, unpredictable local phenomenon that occasionally ROATAN new TIMES.com
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