Nigel @ 50

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Nigel Stephen Holmes @50 by your family and friends


An Ode to Nigel @ 50 Eeeesh! What a great friend and neighbour we are so lucky to live next to. A Stella and red wine guzzler who is always up for a dance and a bit of a do. The shorts man for all seasons who is not afraid to strut his stuff. The Co-op and B&M bargains love this shopper who always returns home with new guff. A gardener extraordinaire who has created magic in a previous wilderness and around his beloved tree. His humour and consideration know no bounds as do his expressions of glee. The perfect partner and foil for Chris. Don't go anywhere as you would be a terrible miss. Happy birthday. Sandrew and Blair xxx


The Cartwrights @ No3


earlier days!


Cousin Joanne I have many fond memories of myself and nigel from the family holidays. About us still laughing every time we meet about the outďŹ ts we had to wear at auntie Barbara's wedding. About just laughing at random silly things for nigel when he gave james a bottle on his christening and saying the gown was slippy. For us both laughing about what hideous fashion's our parents dressed us in. For both of our love of gin. For being the best cousin. For Nigel saying at auntie barb's funeral about my mum bringing the buffet and saying he would only eat what my mum brought. There is so many memories of him and love him dearly. He is a funny witty man welcome to the ďŹ fties club nigel xxxx







university days!


Yvonne - Hun! Hi hun. These ones are off Nigels 21st. Just look at the top as the night progresses. This was the night that we were asked to leave the pub. As nige had put ‘I should be so lucky’ on the jukebox 12 times. After the 6 time the landlord was like. Wtf then he put more on. As completely pissed and out of it. Xxx we left very quickly. We have also had the burned arse with massive blister as he fell pissed in the fire. Xxx and the night we knocked over the Dominoes pizza motorbikes. And had to fuckin leg it. Xx



Yvonne - Hun! Hi hun. These ones are off Nigels 21st. Just look at the top as the night progresses. This was the night that we were asked to leave the pub. As nige had put I should be so lucky on the juke box 12 times. After the 6 time the landlord was like. Wtf then he put more on. As completely pissed and out of it. Xxx we left very quickly. We have also had the burn arse with massive blister as he fell pissed in off the ďŹ re. Xxx and the night we knocked over the domonio pizza motorbikes. And had to fuckin leg it. Xx



Barbara Dean I do remember all of us celebrating the day of our ďŹ nal exams. Nigel was trying to open a bottle of cider or similar. As he was struggling so much to open it, he put the bottle between his legs whilst sitting on settee. A bit like Champagne, booze everywhere but Nigel totally oblivious to this and just sat there whilst cider went everywhere. He ďŹ nished up looking like he'd pee'd his pants but never moved an inch, just sat there with a silly grin on his face!!!! Top of Ben y Vrachie on Scottish ďŹ eld trip


Again on ďŹ eld trip in Scotland


Graduation at the Midland


school days!


Freda Crabtree Nigel nearly didn't get the job at Heaton as the lovely Head was worried he had no friends up here. Overruled by Tosh and Tony C. By the ďŹ rst half term he was friends with at least half the Staff and certainly all the Science Dept. Next thing ' if something happened once and he liked it, Nigel would say " It's traditionâ€?. Sure, enough it was!! Lots of love. Freda. Xx


Astrid Thanks for contacting me for comments re: Nigel's birthday book. I'm not attaching any photos as you say you have plenty and any quotes ("Eeeesh", "That dinner's laying heavy", "Has she shut up shop?") sound a bit odd out of context. However, I can think of few people who have proved such good company over the years. Nigel's good humour and wit are legendary and have provided me with everything from a wry smile to a real belly laugh - not always intentionally! I do wish him loads and loads of love and all the very best on his half century.

Love, Astrid


Sally It's difficult when you've known someone 27

years but I think my best laughs with Nige were back in the day when we spent most Saturday nights in the much loved and lamented Dobsons, knocking back trebles and dancing away happily at the back where we wouldn't be seen by rogue year 11s when the lights went on so brutally at 11pm! The best night was when we were evacuated due to a fire scare and we spent a happy 15 minutes chatting up a very hunky fireman in the fire engine park outside, still with treble vodkas in hand.


Nige's favourite comment? 'To ruche or not to ruche'......as he spent the day with my friends Jo. Helen and I as we put the ďŹ nishing touches to my newly decorated living room. His height advantage was invaluable in putting up the curtains and I was so impressed that he had the terminology at his ďŹ ngertips. So many laughs, nights out, parties, school trips! So much gossip! So many dances! So many drinks! So many times he's reached that lovely glazed stage when he tells you how much he loves you and how special you are! Such a shame we can't have a proper celebration but when we add all the missed special occasions together, there'll be a hell of a party when this is all over. Much love to you both Sally


The great ship HMS ! Andy Costello remembers I have so many memories of Nigel going back a few years now. I thought a memory from a ski trip would be nice. It was my first trip. I roomed with Nigel and Peter Clyde and we bonded together over the week. We would like in our beds hungover and let Peter bring us tea in bed! On the last day we were sent on a trip for booze. Big mistake. We piled the trolley high with everything and anything: beer, wine, spirits and even local Austrian firewater.

Somehow, we (with a bit of help) managed to drink it all. That was the night Nigel told me he was gay. I was very moved that he could confide in me, even if it took several hours and lots of alcohol for Nigel to finally spill the beans. Three hours later Peter made us get out of bed. Still somewhat tired and emotional, Nigel announced himself to all and sundry (including the kids) shouting at the top of his voice ' where's the fucking sausage??!' It was the start of a beautiful and much cherished friendship. Love you Nige!!


The great ship HMS ! Richard Faraday remembers Got your message off Elspeth. I have plenty of stories but my favourite one that still makes me chortle, I will summarise... Field trip to Ford Castle. Naughty girl goes missing - search party sent out. Nigel heads out into the darkness in his best white shorts and T shirt. Unbeknown to him there had been a coal delivery that he stumbled head ďŹ rst into. Meanwhile me and a colleague had tracked said naughty girl down.

We were counselling her when we were distracted by this Dixie minstrel striding down the corridor, black from head to toe, whom we could only recognise by the whites of his eyes. He then proceeded to give the weirdest telling off I have ever witnessed. Somewhere between Al Jolson and Brian Blessed. f you want something nice? Nigel is one of the funniest, charming and moral chaps it has been my good fortune to meet. Cheers Richard


The Lads of HMS ! Dave Merrifield remembers Nigel, congratulations on making it to 50. As you stood sweaty and shaking at the front of the hall on that infamous training day I did not think you would make it through the next five minutes let alone the next five years. Thankfully you have and that is to all of our benefit. Nigel's genuine love and care for all of the children and his colleagues in school makes him a truly special man (special as in wonderful not needs). I am so pleased to call him a friend rather than just a colleague.

Chris had asked for a quote or story from my time of knowing you and to get it down to just one is a task in itself as every day seems to be full of quips, funny anecdotes and stories and incidents of students past and present, and laughs. I have had a good think through and one constant in my (working) relationship with Nigel are the joint bollockings (deserved) and the joint bollockings (undeserved).


However, on the occasion I choose to remember Nigel was called to the Head for a bollocking all of his own. I can’t remember quite what but he had not given in a particular piece of work, looking sheepish Nigel entered the head’s office whilst Andy and I stood by chuckling to ourselves, only for Nigel to appear some time later with a grin across his face saying “you will not believe this, she has given me a hundred quid to go out with you two after work on Friday and get it done” a strange tactic to say the least. Needless to say the work did not get completed and a night of carnage ensued that included a lost coat, an induction to some new bars for Andy and me and of course the shitting of pants!

HMS HUNK HEAVEN!

Nigel I love working with you, simply put I think you are great. All the best - Dave


Rosie Kielty What can I say about Nigel? Fate and Covid 19 have robbed us of being the friends we could have been. I only knew Nigel for three years but that was enough to see what a first class person he is. What I wouldn’t give for a drunken sesh with him now! Absolute top professional at work; does above and beyond and can see what needs doing by others who are a little less diligent - he often ends up doing what they don’t do because the students matter so much to him. Nigel could drink us all under the table, although we really tried to keep up. We’re not getting much practice in at the minute, so God help us all when we are eventually allowed to socialise again! lovely, lovely man who is greatly missed. Happy birthday Nigel! Sending lots of love from the bottom of my heart xxx Rosie


Karen Blackburn Happy 50th Birthday Nigel, from your best door buddy. I miss the days shivering on the doors, with only our banter to keep us warm. Have a great birthday and enjoy your new kitten.



Best of friends!


Melanie C How do I sum up nearly 30 years of fabulous friendship? During that time, you have grown from green gilled NQT, to wise old owl on the SLT.... Remembering your risqué Biology Bingo, legendary staff Christmas raffle, Friday Sausage, 70s fancy dress parties (your Elvis and my Diana Ross outfits were my favourites, although best not mention the blacking up) and wine tasting evenings of absolute carnage. We have all grown up and calmed down, but I am very thankful that you still can't resist the opportunity to be a bit naughty. You definitely haven't lost the capacity to fire the occasional loose cannon and a "quiet drink" with you still has the power to create a hangover that lasts a week.



Melanie C Over the years we have experienced some big rites of passage, not least of which has been the acquisition of husbands/kids/cats. The excitement of Christopher arriving into your world was obviously life deďŹ ning, and it was only really overshadowed in importance when the escapades of Jackie O hit the headlines of The Whitley Bay Guardian. Despite the big events, it's also the everyday moments that are some of the best. You are the "Master of Minutiaeâ€?, and my favourite Nigel time is our daily commute to work. It is here that we mull over the really important things in life, such as what we had for tea yesterday (you ALWAYS win....), and what new bar is going to open in the Bay (you ALWAYS win that one too, due to your obsessive monitoring of North Tyneside Council's Licence Applications...).

We put the world to rights ("It's a good job we're perfect, Mel"), and, in the words of your perfectly apt recent birthday card to me "I love it that we are bitchy and judgemental about the same people". Thank you for giving me some of the best laughs of my life, for always being there (even though I do wish you would move to "fucking Tynedale"), and for keeping my blood sugar levels constantly topped up with Freddos. Have an absolutely wonderful 50th birthday. Lots of love, Mel xxx



Issy & Freya When we were young we used to love Nigel coming round on a Saturday night to watch Strictly. He used to always bring us lots of treats such as sweets and feather boas. We would greet him in our bartenders outďŹ ts and notepads, to serve him his beer and wine throughout the evening. We must have been the only 5 year olds who could open beer bottles and pour a glass of wine correctly; thanks Nigel for teaching us these essential life skills! Happy 50th birthday, lots of love Issy and Freya!



Lovely Lisa Coastal Chums Well...here goes with some of my favourite anecdotes/memories about our wonderful and gorgeous Nigel. On one occasion as head of year Nigel was telling off a member of my tutor group. Nigel's ďŹ nal comment in his tirade towards the student was, "Now walk down that corridor like you know you're in trouble". As instructed the student walked off in shame, head bowed. As soon as the student was out of sight, myself and Nigel collapsed in giggles at his ďŹ nal instruction.

Thursday on a school night was a traditional night out for Nigel in order to start the weekend early. I often accompanied him down South Parade in Whitley Bay, always staying out too late and drinking too much. Nigel is the master of keeping everyone's drink topped up. One particular Thursday was a memorable one....at 3am we were still out gazing out at the sea about to stagger and stumble home. At this time, I was giving Nigel a lift to work (for which I received an end of month gift). We managed to both be ready for the school run and in hindsight I probably shouldn't have driven that morning.

Needless to say, we were both hungover, yet the drive to work was lifted as Kylie "Spinning Around" came on the radio. At this point the volume was put on full and we were singing at the top of our voices. I can't remember how we got through that Friday at work, but on arrival at school Nigel did insist that the deputy head at the time (Kevin Smith) not pull out of delivering the assembly due to losing his voice. He was still the better option to deliver an assembly than a hungover head of year.



Lovely Lisa Coastal Chums Tiffany "I think we're alone now" Running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another hands Trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me And we tumble to the ground and then you say I think we're alone now There doesn't seem to be anyone around I think we're alone now The beating of our hearts is the only sound

Am not sure how it happened but myself and Nigel used to do the same "routine" to this part of the song every time we heard it - the choreography wasn't the best. Friday at school was when Nigel used to go into his friend's classrooms just before break when they were teaching to ask, "Can I slip you a Friday sausage?" This meant we would meet at break to have a sausage sandwich from the school canteen. Nigel loved a double entendre. However, when I was pregnant, he asked the same question in front of my students, followed by "or am I 9 months’ too late" - slightly inappropriate, but it still makes us giggle.

I also love the following Nigel anecdotes.... Keeping his fish in his bath for months (he did have a separate shower cubicle) as he couldn't be bothered to clean their tank. The fish grew to fit with their new bigger "tank" which then gave Nigel an experience he could use in his Biology lessons. Nigel is the best compere when giving out raffle prizes.


Nigel loves the minutia of every story and is so considerate at showing genuine interest in others and asking them questions about themselves and their life. Nigel has an amazing memory for names and remembering anecdotes about people. He is an 80s TV expert! Nigel loves to trawl round charity shops and back alley's picking up bargains and retro items to upcycle. Hope this is all ok Christopher. Am hoping Elspeth will tell the anecdotes about when we were all on holiday in France - and they visited the what Nigel referred to as the "nudo beach" Take care lovely Lisa Xxx


Elspeth Dowling Coastal Chums I first became aware of Nigel in the staffroom of Heaton Manor School, September 1999, because he was so loud. He appeared to know everyone and was asking people questions about what they’d done during the summer holidays, in a very loud voice. I was a new member of staff who didn’t know anyone and said to myself why does that man think everyone wants to listen to him?

We went on to become firm friends and spent so much time together that at one point my daughter, Megan, said to him I don’t know whether I should call you my brother or my uncle. Skip a few years and many, many hours of working closely together (we still do) and socialising together, to going away on holiday together. My husband Brendan (aka Brennie) and I invited Nigel on holiday with us three years in a row. Two camping holidays and a third to stay with some of our family living in southern France.

We had so much fun on all the holidays because Nigel is always great company. The camping holidays included trips to a beach Nigel referred to as ‘The Nudo’. It was a naturist beach which provided us with great amusement. Nigel and I couldn’t get over how confident people were to not only bare all but carry on as normal whilst being completely naked. The closest Nigel and I got to being naked was going into the sea and removing our swimming costumes (we were socially distanced and up to our necks in water, while Brennie lay in the sun tent fully clothed).


One of the many things I love about Nigel is he is always interested in, as he says, ‘the minutiae’. He wants to know every last detail and remembers it all too, something I really appreciate about him. I am delighted to lay claim to helping to introduce Nigel to Chris. Nigel and I went out for a drink, around the time he came out as gay, and bumped into our friends and neighbours Peter and Louise. Nigel was waxing lyrical about coming out at 40 when Louise said I’ll have to introduce you to Chris and the other guys. A few weeks later and with a bit of gentle pressure, Nigel allowed me to give Louise his number, to pass on to Chris.


Brennie Dowling Coastal Chums Nigel accompanied Elspeth and me on several very pleasant and memorable holidays, one of which was camping in Brittany. Nigel is a great camper and always brilliant holiday company. We had lots of fun, people watching and having trips to the ‘nudeo’ to try not to watch sunbathers oiling themselves.

One morning Nigel suggested we cycle to the nearby town to buy provisions, an English newspaper and have a coffee in a street cafe in the Gallic style. Elspeth was not keen on a morning cycle as she had had a skinful the night before and wanted to pamper herself. So off Nigel and I cycled into the French sunshine. All of a sudden, I was one half of a beautiful boy couple!

This was strange, because at the time Nigel wasn’t even gay, and as I was brought up a Catholic I didn’t even know what gay was! We had such a lovely morning, laughing, chatting, and waving to the locals as they pointed at the enormous baguette in Nigel’s pannier as we cycled back to camp! What a special, lovely friend. So many laughs and happy memories. Happy Birthday Nigel. Lots of Love Brennie



Lucy & Steve I remember you telling us a story - you’d said to Tracey that you’d met a new bloke at work called Steve who seemed to be a canny bloke, and thought you’d be good friends. Well here we are 20 odd years later! Many taxi (Steve’s car) rides, nights out, memorable birthdays, holidays (especially New York, and Provincetown when you were scared to walk down the street next to Steve) later. Hope you have the best of 50th birthdays, sorry we won’t be able to celebrate in style properly, Lots of love from us, Steve and Lucy and the boys xxx




Louise & Peter ‘I know I’ve only just met you .. but can you get out of the middle of the road !!!!’... As Nigel happily walked through snow and ice in his suit and smart shoes. after we had spent a lovely chance meeting up with Elspeth and her work colleague (Nigel) in the Brandling Villa ..I felt there was someone very dear to me (lovely friend Chris). that he just had to meet ..... ..xxx


Christina and Ken Coastal Chums Back in 1997 Ken and I didn’t know each other but we both knew Nigel. His wonderful 1970s birthday party that year was memorable for many reasons, the food, the outfits, and the criminal someone picked up in the pub beforehand who tried unsuccessfully to persuade Ken and I to go into the protection racket business as we stood in Nigel’s kitchen in Tosson Terrace.

Every year since 1996 there has been a Christmas meal with Nigel, Melanie and Colin which grew in number as the years rolled on. Early highlights included Amy singing ‘America Pie’, the Titanic theme tune on the keyboard, entertaining nativity plays when Issy and Freya joined in, as did Nigel when encouraged! Hopefully, although a long delay this year, we will all be reunited to listen, and join in, to the new tunes on the keyboard Amy has taught herself in lockdown (Little Donkey).

The best bit of the meal for me was always spending the day swapping stories with Nigel (and later on with Christopher as well), earnestly discussing Pop Idol/X Factor, where The Sound of Music would be placed in the 50 top films, the Scout gang show we’d forced Nigel to come and watch, and lots of other tales. I asked Kyle if he wanted to add anything to our reflections for Nigel’s 50th birthday and he just said, ‘well if it wasn’t for Nigel I wouldn’t be here’.



Clare & Ben Melanie, my oldest friend texted me out of the blue, as she had a feeling that her best friend Nigel (who was at Nottingham PGCE with my husband Ben and now taught with Mel) was going on a date with my best friend Chris. It sounded like a bonkers coincidence, but it was the start of something great ...as Mel and I both read at their civil service a few years later. History was made .... a match made in heaven! (Hope that sort of makes sense! )Cheers Clare xx


Clare & Ben Having spent PGCE in Nottingham with Nigel, (part of the Beeston Bugler set and therefore not a frequent visitor to us of the Derby road) highlights of which included the sixth form ďŹ eld trip for biologists to? some hall or other somewhere? It was a great surprise to ďŹ nd myself bumping into Nigel again a good few years later in my role accompanying Clare (then Sisterson) to the wedding of Melanie Chester and a Mr Colin Robinson at the Grand Hotel in Tynemouth.


Clare & Ben Small world and all that.... who could have known that taking photographs could take so long? 5, 6 or maybe 7 pints later accompanied by a large cigar I seem to recall Nigel and I were well set up to astonish the guests of said wedding with our Ceilidh dancing skills; small children and unsecured items beware. Thus, the pattern was set for all future meetings in Brighton once Christopher was lucky enough to meet this man. Get yourself down to Southover wines Nigel, mines a double. Ben


Kath Wildwoman Good Chums Dearest Nigel, Thank you for being you. For asking how I was, early days post-divorce. For tutting audibly and with disgust and raised eyebrows when I shared the latest dramas. For helping me so discreetly with a school problem for Ol when I didn’t know where to turn or who to ask for advice. For always being up for having another cheeky glass of red - and for absolutely making my Mum’s year (nay, decade) at the last Christmas Eve party. She still asks me to “say again what that lovely man said”.

I know you hate fuss. So, I say this very quietly. I feel blessed to call you my friend. And I wish you the very happiest birthday May your toast always have low fat spread, may your minestrone be on the board and if you ask for an herbal tea, may the selection be plentiful Kath xxx


Hilary Turnock Good Nana From the first time I met you after your first date with Christopher, when you were presented for Nana’s approval ( you passed with flying colours!!), you have been a constant and joyous part of my life! From a wonderful holiday on lake Como, to weekends away in Manchester, and murder mystery New Year celebrations, there are just too many amazing memories to list!!

Your zest for life, booming voice and trademark laugh, love of wigs and dressing up make for so many great times spent together. Your childlike enthusiasm for fire and fire making is both disturbing and a joy to behold! Your generosity and kindness have seen me through some tough times, you are a true friend and gentleman.



Nana T I can’t wait until we can celebrate this milestone birthday in style with lots more fun and frolics! And more than a few glasses of something special. Love you Nigel Nana/ Hils


Charlotte Turnock Carlotta T

Where does one start with Nigel. Well in true Nigel fashion, RIGHT at the beginning, and don’t forget a single detail/nuance/action. I’ve thought a lot about what to write about Nigel, what particular memory would I want to recount… would this be a letter begging him to seek help for his clear pyromania? Would this be a love letter to his shoulder dancing? The world was my anecdotal oyster. But Instead I decided to write about what kind of man Nigel is.

Nigel is patient. This goes without saying, especially being married to Chris. Nigel is inherently kind. I don’t think there will be a person on this planet who has encountered Nigel, and hasn’t instantly liked him. Nigel see’s. Not literally, I mean, yes, he can literally see. But Nigel SEE’s you. When he talks to you, and wants to know specifically how you pry open a hotdog bun, he manages to make you feel like you’re the only person in the room.


Charlotte Turnock - Chef Turncock Carlotta T

Nigel is laughter. I am smiling just thinking of his guffawing. There is nothing I love more than being in a subdued room and Nigel finds something funny and he laughs louder than anyone else in the room… because no one else in the room is laughing. It’s pure magic. Nigel is diplomatic. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the wrong, Nigel is calm, and listen’s. Nigel is patient pt 2. SERIOUSLY. Saint like.

Nigel is good. This list could go on and on and on but this is the most important. Pure goodness. He would do anything for you, and have your back, no questions asked. Nigel is there with a ‘hello lovely’, a WHOPPINGLY strong gin and tonic, and a flash of bare knee even in deepest darkest January. He is an institution. Nigel there is no one on this planet I’d rather sit late at night with and sing Barbra Streisand. You are the finest of men, and I am so lucky to be a part of your life. I love you so much! Charlotte


Kristen - Seton Charlotte & Bauer The lovely Nigel. There are 4 things we think about when we think of Nigel. Firstly, his orange down jacket which is distinguishably his (his height helps). Secondly his penchant of cargo shorts, worn any day of the year and in any weather. Another distinguishable and admirable feature living on the North East Coast of England a.k.a. the Grim North! Thirdly his signature ‘tote’ which is always handy when mooching or delivering various packed goods to friend’s homes, events, holidays or home to his beloved Christopher with the expectation of him rustling up a seasonal delight.


Kristen - Seton Charlotte & Bauer But fourthly, we always see seeing Nigel a treat, there is always a rapid exchange of information; What’s happening? How is everyone? You have new hair! Where are you going? Who have you seen? Would you like a drink? Have you seen Christopher or don’t miss him, he’s just…. Nigel listens, he thinks about your replies, his replies, he’s genuinely interested in you. He makes you feel like a true friend rather than someone he knows. And then he laughs, his laugh. Happy times.


Kristen - Seton Charlotte & Bauer Wishing you a birthday filled with love and laughter Nigel. We hope it’s not too flashy and you’re as young as you feel by the end of the night. Looking forward to when we can celebrate with a drink from the same bottle in the same room and toast your birthday. With love, Kristen, Seton, Charlotte and Bauer xoxoxo


Julie Bradford Dear Nigel - I can’t imagine a better person to bump into at Cafe Dalyan (once you’ve cleaned off the mud). You got us into terrible Turkish red wine, made us howl at your funny stories, and gently drew out my youngest, most muddled-up son with your open and honest reflections about life and coming out. You are a lovely, generous man and we are all lucky to know you. X


Julie, Bob & Leo Nigel, you may not remember this, but when Leo was teeny tiny, you popped by our house in Linskill Ave and kindly gave him two books; Stuck, and How to Catch a Star. Both books went on to be Leo's absolute favourites, and we knew the words off by heart. Now he is ten, we still haven't been able to part with them. That act of kindness is so reective of your generous personality, and we have loved sharing so many fun times with you and Chris over the years. Happy birthday Nigel, and here's to many more laughs together in the future! Love from Julie, Bob and Leo Xxx


Nancy, Phoebe and Jamie Good Chums Nigel’s 30th birthday. We came up from London to attend this swanky event which I believe was held at a local sports club. I enclose before and after of the man of the moment. After shows the birthday badge with the glorious statement ‘still sexy at 30’ Also pictured Nigel not enjoying DJ duties which he cleverly passed on to me, so he could enjoy his night! The sausage roll buttons were clearly an early lady Gaga esque moment

Yorkshire new year. A highlight was singing ‘star maker’ from fame soundtrack at the top of your voice whilst standing on a table whilst dressed as a 1960’s vicar, however he didn’t annoy the landlady as he helped one of them up after a fall so after that could do no wrong even though we were all very very loud



Nancy, Phoebe and Jamie Good Chums

The Early years in Newcastle See the glee at owning a Coveted Burton GOLD store card The evening we raided the skip It was just too tempting. Pictured are the glasses we stole from the pub Nigel insisted we take every hard hat left by builders in the skip and take them all!



U Mark & U Mike I know you have such a happy life in Whitley Bay... since being part for our family! I believe previously you'd met a Mr Wrong & Mr Reasonably Okay & I understand you've spent a very long afternoon in a bus shelter with Mr Halitosis. But thankfully you met Chris & fell in love from the ďŹ rst moment he gave you extra gravy. I mean some people say you only married him because he was pally with a man who made chocolate mis-shapes. But aside from having to face all that ironing, its great you're both so out & proud & living in a gay couple in my home town. Despite being lockdown, I hope you celebrate with a tipple, I know you don't do drugs, but you were the ďŹ rst couple on Queens Road to use Hermesetas! Happy Happy 50th Birthday from your Step-Uncles down London and Victoria Wood U Mark & U Mike xx


Paul & Mark Nigel, our glorious friend whose guffaw laugh can make absolutely everyone around him laugh and giggle! Also he has an uncanny ability to fall asleep at parties (Eurovision being one). When there is noise all around him he can still manage a solid nap whilst keeping a glass of vino vertical! A true skill! Love you Nigel and happy birthday from Paul and Mark x x


Jen Barrett Dear Nigel, wishing you a very happy 50th birthday and a day full of laughter and happiness! I hope you have a fantastic special celebration, lots of pressies and enjoy that lovely bundle of cuteness. I meant Jackson... but I suppose also, Chris! đ&#x;˜‚ Have an amazing day, fellow Scorpio! ( or Sagittarious ) Love Jen xx


Peter Robson So here it is.. There are far to many memories to pick just the one.. but one that is an ongoing love is Nigel’s way of making a song his own.. “Take mheeee to hahhhh park.. that’s covered with treeees.. tell mheee on hah Sunday pleassseee” then add in the the pointing finger and shoulder dance..


Paul & Lucy In a wonderfully happy coincidence, Nigel’s birthday falls on the anniversary of a certain Police Box travelling Time Lord. And it is because of that Time Lord that two people met. Doctor Who celebrated it’s 50th anniversary in November 2013 and just a few days later on a foggy night Jam Jar cinema held a play and a quiz all about this Lord of Time.

Miss Lucy Elizabeth Eckford & Mr Paul Hull were in attendance. Little did they know that this night was to change their lives forever. Nigel and Chris were also there on that memorable night and who could ever have predicted that Lucy & Paul would fall in love, quit their jobs and embark on their own adventure in space & time with For The Love Of The North. Nigel & Chris are interwoven into this story and we love them to bits. The very best of companions


Sally & Ryan Lovely Nigel, hope you have the most fantastic of birthdays with your wonderful husband! Sure it’s not quite the street party of ‘Lockdown Part 1’ but I’m sure a certain someone will make an event of it!! I will never forget how you were the life and soul or our wedding day! Never change! Happy birthday. Love Sally and Ryan xx


family days!


Nicola and Jamie -Doggy Finish the well known phrase or saying... BTEC is worth... Chicken is ... I thought Barbara you ... He could’ve hurt me more if... Personally I think she’s a bit of a... Did you sleep well mum? No! I feel more... I’m sorry I just didn’t... He’s a... And...



The Holmes - Warnocks of Chesterfield Doggy Love

One of my first memories of Nigel’s cunning was when we played ‘donkey’ at home, Nigel gave me a ride once around the lounge, collapsed and the only way donkey could feel better was if I brought him peanut butter sandwiches and weetabix with evaporated milk. Shortly after, I became the donkey, looking forward to a breakfast feast. I obviously collapsed in anticipation, Nigel then replied, good I never liked that donkey and walked off. I experienced disappointment for the first time that morning.

I only slightly got my own back when we were left behind whilst mum and dad went on a coach trip. They rang from the services to say they would be home in about 5 hours, I told Nigel it was an hour, so whilst he rushed around downstairs cleaning in anticipation, I sat upstairs living my best life watching tv. I did tell him about an hour later!


Nicola Lighting mums cigarettes on the gas ďŹ re, pushing it in extra far but hoping it would keep her upstairs for a while. Mum forcing Nigel to respond to a phone call whilst just shouting AA RELAY to him. Paul pooing himself after Nigel made him drive the car to Woolworths one Saturday morning, Paul mounting the kerb, then having to wait for the AA in his soiled pants.



Nickler - on Colin Doggy Love

Taking mum to the pub post stroke and watching her down a Liebfraumilch in one. Very recently I almost managed to get Nigel to destroy an art installation by telling him “they encourage you to change the lights around” Mum and Dad were rightly proud of the young man Nigel became, and I’m very proud to be the (much younger) sister to one of the best big brothers.



J - Dog! One last thought, I, being the oldest brother, Nigel to me is like my older brother, he is beautifully chaotic but so strong, wise, caring and trustworthy when needed, just wanted to say that!! DogX


Brotherly love or coercive control?


A message from Tom. I love spending time with uncle Nigel as he makes me feel closer to my daddy xx. My message echoes this with much love and thanks for all the support over the last few years xx. Hope that will ďŹ t in. I know it’s not a funny story but means a lot. Clare xxx




Sheila & Gary It has been great to see you join our extended family over the last few years, Nigel. I ďŹ rst met you as my lovely sister was becoming more and more ill due to the horrendous diagnosis of MND. At such a horrible time it was good to see that Chris had someone so lovely to support and help him through this. I know you have had some difďŹ cult times too, losing both your mum and brother - you and Chris have each been a tower of strength for the other.


The Johnsons Aunty and Uncle in law

If I had to choose a specific memory to share I’d probably go for your Thriller routine on the dance floor at Charles and Mari’s wedding - very impressive! I’d also mention the family parties you’ve been to at our house where you’ve been a great double act with Chris in running the many super quizzes. Lots of laughter! Wasn’t there also a time you were very sick the next morning at a shockingly bright pink Bed and Breakfast?

This wasn’t the way this year of many big birthdays was meant to be but I hope that you have a wonderful birthday, nonetheless, and hopefully we’ll be able to celebrate properly in the not too distant future. Lots of love from Sheila, Gary and all the Johnstons x


Susan & Drew I first heard about Nigel from your mum. She told me that you had met someone special. She was very happy that you had found such a great person to settle down with. He’s a lovely man and a good dancer ( I remember that from Charles’s wedding!). I hope he has a great birthday. Love from Susan and Drew xx


Frances Brady If ever two people were destined to be together then Chris and Nigel are them. I can’t remember exactly when Nigel strode confidently into our family life with a booming “Hiii!” but it would be impossible to imagine our lives without him. Fate certainly had a hand in this. From the friends in common to Liam having worked with Nigel, there is definitely some divine intervention involved. Nigel, you are the perfect mix of fun and sensible. A unique combination of grown-up senior leader, former scoutmaster and general adult with the pyromaniac, Kylie loving dancefloor king. You really are the perfect partner for my big brother.


Frances Brady I have to also mention how reassured mum was that Christopher had you to rely on when she was ill and passed away. It was a great source of peace for her to know he had you to care for him. You have also experienced several painful losses over the past few years. Your resilience and humour are something I have a great deal of respect and admiration for. Your 50th birthday is here during our second national lockdown due to the pandemic. I know you don’t like fuss, but it would have been lovely to get together and celebrate. Hopefully we can all have a big party next year. With fancy dress, Kylie, dancing and a good pickers tea spread. Happy birthday to my favourite brother in law! Lots of love from Fran xxxxxxx


Lorcan B “Hi Nigel, Hahaha! 50! Mad that!”


Corey B Nigel, you have been a part of my life for the majority of my childhood now and after many memories, sleepovers and the odd ďŹ lm, you have certainly lived up to being my uncle. I still remember that one of the early days when you came to George’s house and I thought you were me Dads colleague for some reason. Anyways, happy birthday. Love from Corey


Jilly & John When you joined our family, We were happy, delighted, pleased. So fine a partner for Christopher Frankly we were relieved! You settled in so easily Your likes were so like ours, Good food, good wine and family, And you always brought me flowers. You are happy to be helpful, Your laughter is very loud, Your height means we can’t lose you, Even in a crowd. You are to us, another son, To laugh with, love and care. So happy birthday Nigel For you always will be there!



okay days!



Chrispy & Nigel

(i should be so lucky!)


Christopher Michael He’s Okay! Where to start eh? Well Mr Nigel Stephen, I love you and I’m okay and that’s all fine because you’re stuck with me I’m afraid. I waited a lifetime for you to come along and now you’re here I’m not letting you go pal!

As Mum said as she followed me down the stairs from her flat after she’d first met the epitome of the perfect son in law, which you are“He’s a keeper! Don’t fuck it up!” Well here we are all these years later and I love you more now than the day I met you when you knocked me of my stool in Irvin’s and downed your first pint in 0.05 seconds.

People say that opposites attract but I think we are a very complimentary pair really. We share a love of so many things in common and are mostly attracted to the same trash TV, music and literature! I do have, of course my highbrow side, naturally, but you’re always happy to ‘trudge’ around an exhibition or be ‘traipsed’ to see some modern dance! As you know that as some as it’s done there will be a drink or 5 to be consumed somewhere close by. We love to eat both in and out as our waistlines will attest. How many clothes are in the “to slim down into section?”



Christopher Michael He’s Okay! We love our travels and are easily able to have fun and hour away in Durham, Edinburgh or Glasgae, on the seafront here in Shitley or further afield in our favourite Dalyan. We seem to find fun wherever we go, and I love or routines and ‘systems’ Sorry I mean ‘your’ ‘routines and systems’.

You make me so, so very happy, from the shape of your ears to the tip of your huge big toes, I have loved putting these stories together for you as it makes me see on paper how much you mean to so, so many people from all stages in your life.

There are too many special folks who can’t contribute to this book of memories and stories and fondness, but I have included their pictures so that they can still be part of this gorgeous gang of yours. (You know your favourite bit is the death montage! ) I’m glad for you and thank you for having me in your life you lovely, lovely man. I Love You Nigel.


Geoff and Paul


You would have had something to say about the state of the country Paul Holmes! And with a wittier word play that I can ever manage! I love this photo! My Civil partnership shortly after Thomas was born! As WolďŹ e Smith would say - Power to the people! N Holmes

Big - Bro


Joy-Bells


Sandie



The Tony to my Bren!


Partners In Crime


BEST DADDY! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH DADDY NIGE! STAN AND OLLIE


New Daddy!

I Promise to be a really good boy and to love you always!

Jackson


You’re one of a kind!








HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU LOVELY, LOVELY MAN CX


You’re Okay! CX


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