The Catalunya Chronicle
ISSUE 15
An English Paper for Tarragona and beyond.... FREE every month ~ suitable for all the family.
Firstly, Happy New Year! “New Year?” I hear you say but we are nearly in March. Yes I know and I wish to apologise for the Catalunya Chronicle not appearing in January. This is due to the fact that the Cat has had not one bout, but two counts of the Cat Flu since the New Year began and has been feeling very poorly. Plans were fully afoot to keep you - the readers - happy. I would also like to apologise to a few companies who had planned to promote their Valentines events, however circumstances proved unavoidable and the disgruntled Cat was forced to remain in one’s basket. We look forward to seeing details of your future activities within these pages during the course of the year. At this point I feel it necessary to say that, further to the many unfound rumours and speculation surrounding the publication recently - some of which if you can pardon the pun have been very “catty” -please be at ease, as, now fully recovered the Cat plans to continue prowling into both regular haunts and new locations throughout the course of 2011. I can only think of the old adage - “While the cats away the mice will play” to sum up these events, and therefore I can only assume that these people may have too much time on their hands and not enough to do.
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Moving on - unfortunately, the flu has also affected our regular contributor of the “Les Mascotes” article on this occasion - we wish them well for a speedy recovery and hope that they will be scampering about again very shortly. Meanwhile, as usual, I would like to express my thanks to all of the contributors (both advertisers and writers) to the paper this month. You will notice several new articles appearing in the paper this month, of which, some will continue into a regular series. These are just a few of the many ideas the “Chronic Cat” has planned during the forthcoming year. Should you have a suggestion for an item that you believe our readers will enjoy - the Cat is all ears. Just pop an email to us at our usual address and we will see what we can do. Thank You once again for your patience and understanding, Happy Reading and we look forward to seeing you next month in all our regular haunts (health permitting) !!!
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IN THIS MONTHS ISSUE... MOTHER HUBBARD’S CUPBOARD A New Year and one of a new series of articles that will appear in the Catalunya Chronicle over the next few months, this regular feature will include money and time saving hints and tips using ordinary everyday household items you may have stored in the cupboard or underneath the kitchen sink.
DIARIO DE UNA FAMILIA PART II In the November edition we featured the story of one particular family and their evacuation to England during the The Spanish Civil War. This month the story continues with them arriving in Southampton and adjusting to life in England.
LOS CABALLOS DE BOCA In conjunction with the British Consulate in Barcelona, every month we will be looking at different aspects of some of the many issues affecting those of us who have chosen to live in these sunnier climbs. This month we focus upon the process and benefits in applying for an Empadronamiento.
GROWING NICELY Dead heading, pruning and replanting, our regular feature focuses on the everyday pleasures in maintaining our gardens throughout the winter months.
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 1
COMMUNITY NEWS Sunday 6th March 2011 - Open day L'Espigol, Waldorf Playgroup Granja Laya, Camí de l'Ermita s/n, Ulldecona espigol.waldorf@gmail.com
NEXT BOOKSTALLS: Saturday 26th February Saturday 12th March Saturday 26th March At the Homogenic Bar El Perello From 10.00am - 1.00pm
Tel: 606 09 50 15 (Puri - after 4 p.m.) 10.30 am: Talk: L'Espigol: Who we are and what we do. 11.00 am: Conference: Waldorf Education: An education for life, an education for our time by Àuria G. Galceran, Waldorf teacher. Both talks will be in Spanish and/or Catalan, but could be simultaneously translated into English if needed. A.R.C.A. would like to say thank you very much to all the lovely people who helped to make our Boot Sale and Buffet Dance in December a success. We thought with the last minute change of venue and day it would not be, but we managed to raise about 1200 euros in total with the help of the Swiss ladies who were up early and worked very hard with the boot sale and raised over 400 euros. 660 euros has been put towards the next spay and neutering project for the 1st week in March when another 22 dogs will be operated on. This is just amazing, if we can regularly raise this amount of money we can get the vets to come from Holland every 4 months, A.R.C.A. wants to try and make a difference to all the unwanted dogs here, and with your help we can. Thanks also to The Olive Press and The Catalunya Chronicle for the excellent adverts for the event and the shopping voucher provided by Little Britain 24-7 on our last raffle.
THE M FACTOR The M Factor Talent show, renamed Mora Casting was held in December and proved to be a great success, as a Star was found and money raised for a National charity.
Freesiagroup for cancer charities Spain
ANNUAL SPONSORED WALK Our 8th Sponsored Walk will take place on Saturday 26th February will be around the Montbrió area. It's a lovely FLAT walk in the countryside passing the Castell dels Teixells and ending up at Parc Sama - we have permission to enter free of charge. It's a beautiful park with lakes, waterfalls, monuments, and peacocks running free. Dogs are allowed on a leash. We plan to meet at 10.00 am at Restaurant El Retiro, in the Hotelet, which is on the first slip road to Cambrils (heading south) from and paralell with the A7 in Vila Fortuny, opposite Mas Gallau. Accessible also from the other side of the road by going over the bridge over the A7 as if you were going to Cambrils and at the roundabout taking the slip road which takes you behind the Hotel. Remember the walk is for everyone, whether or not they have done the walk previously. It's an easy walk of around 7 kms so you don't have to be super fit to do it Further details and sponsorship forms are available from Kay Beech (Organiser) 699 604 105 or Pamela Gene (Secretary) 977 395 064. So ask all your friends, blackmail your family, everyone you know... and if you just can't do that then the entrance fee is only €5 (or more if you'd like to pay more). Let's make this a successful walk for the Freesia Group!!
The 5 finalists were, Maria Fuentes, Adrian Melchor Montane, Dancesing Fit, Alba & Farliegh Graham. It was a very entertaining evening and it was a hard decision for the judges to pick a winner from the 14 competitors who performed, as the performances were so professional. The 4 hour event, sponsored and supported by the Mora de Ebre Adjuntament, was held at the Llanterna Theatre in Mora de Ebre. Throughout the evening a great audience got involved with the competition and encouraged the performers and eat lots of food supplied by the Tiara girls. Norman Jay organised the show and would like to thank all involved for there help and support. Special thanks to Geoff Gilvey who entertained the audience during the Interval. Who will win the 2011 M Factor?... contact norman@normanjay.net for an entry form. The Judges and Winner: Anja Glaser (prof. of music), Norman Jay (Organiser/singer / songwriter) M Factor Winner Farleigh Graham from Tortosa, Isabel Canjas (prof. of music), Marcus (singer and performer), and Daniel Evans X factor finalist and singer/songwriter/musician.
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 2
CARTES A L’EDITOR Readers Letters - to the Editor Do you wish to voice your opinion on a particular subject, or feel that our readers could benefit from some useful information that may assist them in settling into the Catalan / Spanish way of life? If so, why not send us a letter - please address all correspondence to: The Catalunya Chronicle C/ Martirs 6, 43500, Tortosa or alternatively you may email us at editor@chroniccat.com The following email was sent to us recently. The subject may appear controversial, however it would be of interest to find out the general feeling and consensus of opinion on this matter. Do you have any thoughts on this subject which you would like to voice. If so let us know by responding to the above address. We look forward to hearing from you. Hola, I'm enclosing the following letter in case you can find a spot for its publication in your newspaper, either as a 20% DISCOUNT ON BRAND SUNGLASSES
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agreed to his wish and there was the car sitting in front of him.
A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried The man then asked for his final wish, "I wish I was irresistible to women." in the sand. He decided to open it. Inside was a genie. The genie said, POOF! “I will grant you three wishes and He turned into a box of chocolates. three wishes only." The man thought about his first wish and decided, “I think I want 1 million pounds transferred to a Swiss bank account.” POOF! His wish was granted. Next he wished for a Ferrari red in colour. POOF! Again the Genie
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 3
TRUCOS Y CONSEJOS MOTHER HUBBARD’S CUPBOARD Welcome to the first part of a new feature to appear in the but may have been forgotten about due to the vast Catalunya Chronicle. amount of items readily available for everyday household use at your local supermarket. No, before you ask, we’re not looking for that elusive lost bone. This regular article is aimed at bringing you If you have a handy hint or suggestion to share with our extraordinary money and time saving hints and tips using readers please email your handy hints to ordinary everyday household items you may have stored editor@chroniccat.com or alternatively write to us at the in the cupboard or underneath the kitchen sink. following address: From pest control to car maintenance hints, sewing tips to kitchen tricks, plumbing help to cleaning suggestions, hopefully Mother Hubbard will be able to offer some help and advice. These are the remedies, hints and tips that your Grandmother may have passed onto your Mother,
The Catalunya Chronicle, C / Martirs 6, Tortosa, Tarragona, Spain 43500
DISPERSING PAINT ODOUR
TEA STAINS
Try leaving a bucket of water inside a freshly-painted room and the odour should diminish considerably.
For a quick and easy way to clean your teapot, simply pop a denture-cleaning tablet into the pot and top it up with warm water. Leave for an hour or two and then give the pot a good rinse.
Add some vanilla or peppermint extract to the paint, in the ratio of 1 teaspoon to 2 litres. You could also try leaving a plate of sliced apples or onions in the room that you are painting.
To remove tea stains from fine china run gently with a cloth sprinkled with baking soda (Bicarbonate of Soda) or salt.
CLEANING TILE GROUT
REMOVING CARPET STAINS
Use white toothpaste or bleach with an old toothbrush to clean tile grout stains. The pumice in toothpaste is a sufficient abbrasive. Apply bleach with a toothbrush. For caulking between the wall and bathtub, leave a rolled cloth soaked with bleach on it for 3 to 4 hours. You could also try using white vinegar by filing a spray bottle and wetting the tiles and grout. Allow to set for 15 minutes and reapply. Use an old toothbrush for cleaning the grout. Rinse thoroughly with cold water and wipe dry with a soft dry cloth.
Shaving Cream is a brilliant emergency carpet stain remover. It can help to remove ketchup, chocolate, tea, coffee, wine and even blood.
Apply lemon juice to any areas of the grout that require extra attention. Apply a coat of car wax to cleaned and dried tiles. This will seal tiles and grout and repel water. Allow the wax to dry and buff to a shine following the directions on the product.
PROGAT DE TORTOSA
If the carpet stain is still wet, try pouring a little carbonated water on the stained area. Wait a moment and blot until moisture is absorbed. If you don’t see the stain straight away, mix a diluted solution of vinegar, soap and water. Dampen a cloth with the solution and press firmly against the stain for several moments. Blot dry with a cloth.
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Are you concerned with the way that cats live and are treated on our streets? Are you aware that one cat can be responsible for producing 20,000 descendants in only five years? Join Progat and you’ll help us, to help them. We have many cats and kittens needing new homes. If you decide to adopt a cat, sterilisation/castration is provided for free. Please come and see us! Donations are always welcome. Progat Tortosa 977446649 / 630502142
NB: Please be aware that although this collection of hints may help to solve many of your household problems, total success cannot be guaranteed in every case. Care and caution should be exercised when using any of the hints. The Catalunya Chronicle will accept no liability for any damages (whether direct, indirect, consequential or otherwise) arising from the use, attempted use or application of any of the hints contained in these articles.
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 4
UNA CURVA DE APRENDIZAJE English Speaking Children in Catalan Schools Naturally, everyone has a different experience when placing their children into school, here in Catalonia. Ours, generally has been very positive and 6 months down the track our children are beginning to blossom as they rise to the challenges of everyday life. They have become more confident and are really quite pleased with themselves now that they have begun to understand their environments and make friends. Most of the teachers seem genuinely caring and nurturing but , of course, individual time given to immigrant children is dictated by school budgets and, therefore, they cannot do as much as they would like. The funding has been reduced for Aula d'acollida classes and materials and translations cost money (but, believe me, the situation is similar for foreign students in English schools). No matter what the school, your childs progress will be affected by many other factors. For example, their ability to acquire new languages , their motivation to settle, ability to make friends and the support that is available at home. Many parents and carers only speak Castilian Spanish to begin with, so helping with homework and reading the reports and letters that are sent home is difficult. Access to support materials and the Internet may also be scarce, particularly for those living in the campo. The Impact on the first language (English) is an important consideration but something often overlooked,. The Catalan alphabet is subtly different to ours and the phonetic (sound) system is certainly very different, for example 'x' makes the 'sh' or 'ch' sound, whereas in English we usually pronounce it 'ks'. The vowels and some other consonants are also sounded differently. This, of course, has an impact on a childs reading and spelling in English, as well as articulation. Very quickly children can forget how to spell as accurately in their first language. Some children can cope with this , particularly if they continue to read and write in English, however, a child with a Special educational need, such as Dyslexia (Specific Language Difficulty) or a hearing impairment, where a grasp of the sound system is already difficult, could find this very confusing. When working with children with speaking, spelling and/or reading difficulties and when teaching English Learners, my approach is to revisit or teach the most commonly used sounds in the English sound system. To teach all of them would be impossible and there are many idiosyncrasies (did you know that there are 10
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ways to spell the sound 'ee'?), English is an incredibly complicated language. In my opinion the most effective way to maintain and improve your childs English skills is to encourage reading. If they are not great readers of books, comics,magazines or games are all ways to make reading fun. What else can we do to help our children to achieve? Ÿ Make the most of your local library, borrow Catalan books in simple language with pictures to help reinforce meaning. Ÿ When watching DVDs watch in Catalan or in English with subtitles, Catalan language films are available at your local library also.
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Ÿ Ensure they have, and use a good CatalanEnglish dictionary . Ÿ Remember to be patient, on average, it takes 1 -2 years to learn an additional language for basic, interpersonal communication skills and 5 - 7 years for cognitive academic language proficiency (fluent enough to access all of the curriculum). It is also not uncommon for a child to refuse to speak the new language for some months.
Ÿ Encourage your children to socialise with Catalan children at school, at clubs, parks, However, although the early months are difficult, the swimming pool etc learning new languages is very rewarding and the Ÿ Try to learn Catalan yourself. Free classes benefits of being bilingual in the modern world are available in the community, ask at your enormous. local Adjuntament for details. Amanda Tucker Bsc (hons) Speech and Ÿ There are some excellent revision guides Language Therapy, Cert TEFL available on Amazon, for example the tuckermandi@yahoo.co.uk Coordination Groups Publications range, (Readers can contact me on this email which are in English and are very user address). friendly.
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The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 5
TEMPUS FUGIT This past year has been the worst for flies in the ten years that I have lived in Catalunya, or perhaps it’s my tolerance levels that’s diminishing year on year. Even as late as mid December the last of the flies kept up a brave rearguard action, still bent on breaking and entering with intent to commit aggravated assault Although at this time of the year the flies tend to be sluggish and much easier to swat. The first years here really tested my commitment to making a new life in Catalunya. It seems as if on arrival, each person is allocated their own personal quota of flies not to mention mosquitoes, wasps and let’s not forget the dreaded horsefly. In the early years I had absolutely no resistance to the mosquito. I had a severe reaction to their bite, I recall one morning waking to seven mosquito bites on my face, the result was more than a passable resemblance to the Elephant man. The definition of hell for me is the sound of a mosquito inside the mosquito net at three in the morning. Fortunately, over time, I have developed a resistance to the wee beasties and now suffer no more than a minor irritation, I’m even able to take the sanguine (no pun intended) view that not only must we must learn to share the planet but we must also learn to share ourselves as well. However I find it impossible to come to such an accommodation with the Catalan fly, for me it is an insect without any redeeming qualities, truly an enemy of the people in more ways than one. So; “now for the science bit.” The olive fly falls into the following classification: Kingdom; Aumalia . Phylum; Arthopeda. Class; Insecta. Order; Diptera. Family; Tephritidae. Genus; Bactrocer. Sub Genus. Daculus. Species; B. Oleae. Flies evolved around 250 million years ago, so they have a considerable edge on us. With approximately some 119,500 known species, flies form some 10% of the entire planets living species and are one of the most successful insects to evolve. The type of fly that we newcomers are most familiar with back in Blighty is the blue bottle /blow fly or common house fly, which ecologically plays a vital role in cleaning the environment of faeces and rotting matter by recycling the nutrients, however this also makes them an excellent vector for the transmission of disease and parasites, thus, we instinctively associate the ‘fly’ with filth, putrefaction, disease and of course its familiar buzzing sound. A characteristic quality that is used in the film of William Goldings’ ‘ The Lord of the Flies’ and Roman Polanskis’ film ‘Repulsion’ to great effect. If you haven’t seen both, do. The dominant fly in Catalunya is the Olive fly {common names, Dacus Ole Fossi or Bactrocca Oleae.) This fly may have a major impact on the olive crop, infesting and consequently reducing both the volume and quality of the crop by as much as 40% and in bad years up to 80%. Since its migration from East Africa it has become a serious economic pest. In winter the olive fly and its’ larvae lie dormant, hibernating either in the ground or in fallen olives. With the onset of spring the life cycle
hands were occupied, particularly when raising concrete blocks above my head, for at that very moment two flies would immediately enter my nostrils whilst others would attack the mouth and eyes., as soon as my hands were free the flies would disappear, the process repeated each time I raised another block. In my mind I had an image of the commander and lord of all the flies briefing his army: “right lads on the command GO! You will advance upon the enemy; you will clear each is reactivated. The pupae hatch, flies then infest nostril one by one no matter the cost, take no the olives, one pupae in each olive, repeating the prisoners and remember lads, no surrender.” process every 20 days. The potential numbers from one female by the 56’ th. generation may be as much as several million flies. The flies flourish The irrational part of me reacts to the olive fly, particularly well in areas of high humidity hence feeling as it behaves with a degree of insolence they are more prevalent in coastal areas than in not seen in any other creature,( except perhaps for the great white shark) and it seems to be the higher, dryer and colder mountain areas. completely oblivious to the fact that it is WE who A great deal of time and money is spent on are masters of the universe. I’m convinced that the attempting to control the olive fly. Principally with struggle, No, the endurance test with the olive fly the use of pesticide sprays, however the flies, as added at least two months to the build time. The with all insects, are increasingly becoming other area of my body to suffer molestation, (here resistant. The current research is focusing on I use the word molestation in the Spanish sense pheromone traps and genetic engineering to of the word for irritating just doesn’t express just interfere with the reproductive process. One of the how irritated I feel) curiously are my elbows, it first Catalan mysteries I came across was the sight seems that the Olive fly as well as being attracted of plastic bottles hanging from the live trees, to moisture is also quite partial to the micro flora discovering that they are traps for the olive fly, that lives on the bodies surface. Perhaps for the containing a 3% solution of ammonia phosphate. olive fly, my elbows are the equivalent of a packet For the best results place one to two per tree from of Pringles. I can almost hear the flies singing as early June onwards, placing the bottles in the they alight on my elbows, “They’re tasty, tasty very shadiest part of the tree to reduce evaporation, very tasty“ topping up every 10-12 days. Attracted to any source of moisture, it’s quite partial to faeces and putrefying material. As it is also attracted to any human source of moisture e.g. Sweat and moist areas around the mouth and eyes, its potential as a vector for disease is ever present. Although they are not a transmitter of parasites. It is advisable if one has been exposed to prolonged contact with the olive fly, is to perform basic hygiene routines. Not to mention protecting food from contact, and importantly protecting children, in particular very young babies who have yet to develop their immune systems. If you are living en campo you can help tackle the problem by first hanging the traps, secondly by keeping the land clean of fallen olives and by harvesting the crop itself. Although the motivation for the latter diminishes with the yearly fall in prices which make the effort expended barely worthwhile. Although this year, with the economic crisis biting hard into people’s income, I’ve noticed increased activity in harvesting the olive crop. Hopefully one of the unintended consequences of this will be a reduction of the fly population next year. It is also important for pet owners to clean up after the animals defecate and to keep rubbish in sealed bags. In the early years we were occupied with the process of ‘reforming’ and it was during this period I came to the conclusion that the olive fly is extremely intelligent for it was only when both
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 6
MÁS MOSCAS In terms of the Darwinian imperative flies have solved the problem by sheer volume of numbers, not unlike the soviets when their T.34 tanks overwhelmed the superior German Tigers by sheer weight of numbers. I recall a fellow ex pat saying that it was only his experience with the olive fly that helped him understand and empathise with images on television of sick people in third world countries where they, “allowed the flies to crawl into every orifice”. After a while he said;” you just give up, you just run out of energy,” lamenting;” resistance is futile.” This echoes the Borgs command (ask any Trekkie for further clarification) “Resistance is Futile.” Seven of Nine in her distress at being separated from the Borg would say, “The many are one.” Curiously a concept not to dissimilar to the Latin quote on the seal of the United States of America “ E. Pluribus Unum , Out of the Many, One. “ ( borrowed from Heraclitus 535-475 BCE , perhaps most famous for observing that; “You cannot step into the same river twice.”). It’s not too difficult to make the connection between the Borg and the United States of America, Pax Americanus, ‘ Resistance is Futile.’I recall visiting one friend who sat by his table and using a dish of jam as bait. He would while away an afternoon swatting olive flies, at his feet, a small mound of corpses. He delighted in bringing a fly down with a mid air strike, likening the experience to that of WW1 aerial dogfights. I formally conferred on him the title, Baron Von Flickoften. The principal problem with the mid air strike is one of prediction; one has to aim for not where the fly is but where it will be. Interestingly the solution to that problem saved Britain in WW2, with the invention of Radar and helped defeat the aerial armadas of the Luftwaffe.
strike, exclaim “and Zen the fly is no more.” (Sorry, it’s a terrible pun but I couldn’t resist.) However there is a potential darker side, for underpinning Zen and Buddhism is the pivotal belief in reincarnation. A friend took part in a meditation group here in Catalunya. The group decided get closer to nature by meditating without any clothes, the meditation lasted less than 30 seconds as a million flies descended to feast on their nether regions. One has to entertain the possibility that the Karma resulting from our war on the fly may not only result in the possibility of being reincarnated as a fly, but perhaps worse, to be reincarnated as the fly’s anus. So the next time you swat a fly, think twice. Jeff Goldblums portrayal of the doomed scientist in Cronenbergs re make of the film,’ The Fly’ bears the watching if you haven’t seen it. Sometimes I choose not to kill the fly but to swat at it with the sole intention of irritating it, just to give a taste of its own medicine. Revenge is a dish best eaten cold, although the bible urges us...” Beloved never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God for it is written, Vengeance is mine.....Says the Lord. (Romans 12.v 19) When God visited the ten plagues on the Egyptians he could have saved a lot of time and bother if he had sent the flies first. If God created the world and all its creature’s great and small I sometimes wonder whether he accidently forgot to create flies on the 6 th. Day and he only created them after the expulsion of Adam and Eve, just out of spite, as a malicious afterthought;” That will teach you to go scrumping for apples in my garden. “
renowned for its perennial plagues of flies, we are familiar with the image of the outback Aussie complete with a hat festooned with bobbing corks. This case resulted from a charge of fraud against a man who advertised for sale the perfect 100% money back guaranteed fly killer. Tens of thousands sent off their two dollars only to receive a package contain two blocks of wood, one marked A the other B with instructions to place the fly on block A and rap smartly with block B. Found guilty of fraud he appealed, his appeal failed for while his claims were true, it was deemed unreasonable that one first had to catch the fly before placing it on the block. Perhaps it is necessary for there to be a ‘fly in the ointment’ of our idyllic life here in Catalunya, just to remind us that there is no such thing as absolute perfection. And even at a more basic level perhaps it is no bad thing to be reminded that we are a part of the animal world and whilst that argument runs contrary to Papal Bull, although, perhaps that’s all it is, just bull. I more than most people should be grateful to the genus fly, for one once saved my life, although that’s another story for another time. During one particularly bad year for flies I had to return to England for a week and upon landing it was with the greatest of pleasure that I sent a text back saying; ‘ There are no year for flies I had
to return to England for a week and upon landing it was with the greatest of pleasure that I sent a text back saying; ‘ There are no flies on me’. At least the statement was true in the literal if not in the metaphorical sense.
As a law student I came across a case which now for the life of me I cannot say for certain whether I personally prefer the Zen approach. To meditate it is genuine or an Australian myth. The case on the art of fly swatting and upon a successful rested on the test of reasonableness. Australia is
Sarah A. Massie
LITTLE ONES... The teacher asked the class to use the word fascinate in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating'. Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate. Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater word fascinate, so she called on him for his with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasin eight.' offering.
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The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 7
RETRATO DE UN GATO Later, having removed the muddy stains from the carpet and traces of ketchup from the arm of the sofa, I caught sight of the remains of the chips, still I sat engrossed in the film on the tele, a piece of in the newspaper, stuffed under the cushion. That chocolate raised halfway to my mouth as I waited did it. I snapped. Things were going to change. to see if she would say yes. The whole film had Right here. Right now. been leading up to this point and soon the In the kitchen, I slammed the chips down on the suspense would be over. table, filled the kettle and sat waiting for it to boil, Bang! The front door slammed, momentarily deep in thought. I glared at the chips in their breaking my concentration. I looked up towards newspaper, knowing things had got to change, my son Paul as he wandered into the lounge, chips when an advert caught my eye. Pulling it closer, I smoothed out the creases as best I could. The in hand, wrapped in newspaper. ketchup had stained one side, but most of it was still visible.
Portrait of a Cat
By Jennifer Figuerola
thinking of, swanning off to Spain on the whim of a job? No, this was not the sort of thing people like me did. I convinced myself I was being ridiculous and forced myself to push the whole idea firmly to the back of my mind and concentrate on anything except that advert. 'One of your madder moments, girl. Get a grip.'
So who can explain why, a week later, when I received a positive reply with a phone number attached, my heart did a couple of somersaults in excitement? I retrieved the advert from behind the biscuit tin, and once again smoothed it out carefully to re-examine the details. It was a definite bonus that accommodation was included. How on 'Mmm, this could be it,' I muttered to myself. 'The earth would I go about finding anywhere on my answer to all my problems.' own in Cataluña? Sitting there in my cosy kitchen, I was tempted, oh I felt so tempted... It was a commission for an artist to go to Spain, to Cataluña, to paint someone's cat. In June of this year. Accomodation included. Applications to Señor Eduardo Gomez.
‘Where's the ketchup, Mum?' 'Top cupboard above the microwave. I've had a change around.... Damn!' I turned back to the film... to see the credits rolling. Paul wandered back into the lounge and threw himself on the sofa, kicking off his wet, muddy shoes as he did so. Oblivious to the mud splattering carelessly over my beige carpet, he changed the channel to football and settled down to eat his chips. 'It was only a sloppy film, Mum. I don't see why you get so worked up. You should take a chill pill, you know.'
This all seemed too good to be true. Painting was my passion, portraits my speciality. The walls of every room were covered with my efforts. I had even sold a few in my time. My stomach churned as I pondered the advert. I could do this. June was two and a half months away. Time enough for me to make all the necessary arrangements. And then I'd be gone. Paul would at last have no choice but to stand on his own two feet and I would have a chance to find a life of my own. After all, I'd been divorced for four years now. Four long years, during which Paul had gradually taken over my life with his demands and his selfish ways. He'd say he was coming round to keep me company, I must be lonely, it's no life cooking for one, what an opportunity to be with your baby grandson.... and so on and so on. And I had let it happen.
'I'll take these please.' I smiled at the young girl in the florists as she took the bunch of freesias and carefully wrapped them for me. 'They're Mum's favourites.'
I decided to ring Señor Gomez. But what if he couldn't speak English? My Spanish consisted of a few common words and phrases picked up on previous holidays. '¿Cuanta cuesta?' and 'Hastaluego baby!' said it all really – oh and 'dos cervesas por favor'. So I wasn't in the best position to negotiate terms os employment over the phone. Reality dawned. Forget it, I told myself. Stupid idea anyway. But then, if he couldn't speak English, why would he have advertised in an English newspaper? I looked crossly at my reflection in the hall mirror. 'For pity's sake, stop this nonsense, throw away the advert and get on with the day!'
It was a bright, sunny day, so I walked up to the cemetery to put the flowers on Mum's grave. As usual, I plomped myself down on the grass and told her everything. It felt as if she was listening, as if she could really hear me, and always did me the power of good. Today was no exception. '….Apparently I should take a chill pill, Mum,' I said. 'I mean to say, Paul is thirty-two years old, can't hold down a steady job, is in and out of his relationship with Sandra and in and out of my life in the process. He waltzes in and out when he pleases, expecting me to babysit Jamie at a moment's notice, as if I should be at his beck and call. I don't have a life of my own any more. I can't even watch a film right through. I'm fed up. Take a chill pill indeed!'
‘Come on girl, give him a ring. What have you got to lose? No, don't answer that!’ a little voice rang out in my head.
His voice was deep and friendly. 'Si, señora, I espeak ze Inglish. I very much like the paintings you have sent and I would be very happy for you to come and paint for me....' 'And now I'm putting a stop to it,' I whispered to myself, slipping the completed letter of application into the letter box the following afternoon. I didn't know what, if anything, I was expecting. But just the act of sending the letter had prompted me to face up to my life and reassess what was happening in it. Suddenly I was plagued with self-doubt. Maybe I was being too hasty? Maybe Paul really did need me? Maybe I should be there for him and his problems? Maybe this 'Eduardo' wouldn't reply, and even if he did, what was I
'Oh, thank you. Oh yes, I'm glad. Oh yes, I'd love to,' I gushed, not giving him the chance to finish, and as we exchanged addresses, dates and made definite plans, it dawned on me that this was indeed actually happening. I was going to Spain. Everything was ready. Only one problem remained. I should tell him my plans, I decided. But then I bottled it. Which is why, when I locked my front door for the final time one wet, Wednesday morning I slipped a letter in the
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 8
RETRATO DE UN GATO letterbox addressed to my son. Dear Paul, I am writing to thank you. For all the muddy stains on my living room carpet, for driving me insane with your moody ways, for borrowing money I could never afford to lend and for treating me like a doormat whenever it suited you.
Dear Paul,
But most of all, I want to thank you for bringing a I want you to know that I'm, okay and that there soggy bag of chips home wrapped in newspaper all is no need to worry about me. Maybe I was wrong those months ago. You probably don't even in deciding not to tell you I was leaving, but I knew remember them. you'd only try and persuade me to Stay. There was an advert in that paper, Paul. For a job I've gone to Spain for a while, a week, a month, who in Spain. A job I applied for and eventually got. knows, maybe more. But what's more important, is Eduardo is a wonderful man, struggling on his own for you to understand that I'm not coming back. in the campo on his finca, at the same time caring for Caterina, his teenage daughter. She is tragically Your keys no longer fit my front door, as I had all suffering from cancer and going through chemo. the locks changed before leaving. You need to be Although the commission is finished, Eduardo has with Sandra and Jamie, not running back to me asked me to stay on and there is nothing more in when the going gets rough. It's time to grow up, Paul. the whole world that I would like. I'll be in touch. I love you, Mum So, because of you Paul, I have a whole new future Xx stretching before me. He was mad. No, scrap that. He was livid, furious, demented, he went completely off his head. Accusations flew thick and fast over the phone and for once he wasn't bothered about using his precious credit. Paul ranted and raved, then begged and pleaded, and finally broke down and sobbed his heart out. I just listened. That was six months ago. The change in him is amazing, heart-lifting, gratifying. He is now in permanent employment at the local biscuit factory, even working overtime to save up for the forthcoming baby. Sandra phones me regularly for a chat. We get on so well, as now she does not blame me for coming between her and Paul.
It is approaching one o'clock. Shops close for lunch and siesta, before reopening around five or six. Lazy afternoons are the order of the day. I wander out onto the terrace and lift my face up to the sun, high in the sky, burning down, touching my hair and cheeks. A warm feeling rushes right through my whole body, a feeling of complete satisfaction. I inhale the atmosphere of the moment deeply, savouring it, and go to finish setting the table and put out the wine. Eduardo will be home soon. Caterina is painting at the far end of the terrace. Smiling, I look over her shoulder.
'Que bueno esfuerzo,' I say, impressed. 'Pero ahora tienes que limpiar tus manos para comer, cariĂąa.' As I take the handles of her wheelchair and propel her through into the bathroom to wash her hands for lunch, Eduardo's van comes into view.
That leaves only one more thing to say. The irony, We all sit together on the terrace, sharing lunch Paul, is that but for those chips, but for that scrap and laughter. of newspaper and but for the ketchup, I would never have applied for the job in the first place. I thought the commission was to paint a portrait of a cat in Taller Gandia C.B. Spain, and that accommodation would be included. Official Distributor for The ketchup, squirted so liberally over the paper, Stihl and Viking stained part of the advert, so that when I read, Sales & Repairs 'Artist required to paint Cat', the ketchup had Trailers - Sprayers made the rest of the sentence totally illegible. The Chainsaws - Rotovators actual advert should have read, 'Artist required to paint Caterina, my daughter'. And what I read as 'Accommodation included', actually read 'Accommodation unfortunately not included.'
Yesterday I walked into the village to the post office, bought a stamp and posted another letter to my son. I had a coffee in the little bar, imagining Carrer 30, 13-15, Camarles So you see, I would never in a million years have had the expression on his face as he read it. Tel/Fax: 977 470 060 the guts to go out there without a place to stay. Eduardo kindly put me up when we realised my error and we hit it off so well that I have stopped looking THAT’S LIFE... for anywhere else. I can't thank you enough, Paul, Love Mum Xx
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 9
A MISCELLANY PARSON PAUL’S DIARY . . . .
What better for a resolution for 2011 than to ask God to make us beautiful people who reflect His love, peace and joy?
One of the wonderful things about being a Vicar on this coast of Spain is that you learn to cope with the unexpected. Several weeks after our Paul Needle is the English Vicar serving local congregations in arrival we turned up for a morning service in Alcossebre only to find Alcossebre, Ampolla, El Perello and Vinaros. He can be contacted on that we had been double booked with a christening by our Roman 662 482 944. Website http://www.azaharanglican.org/ Catholic hosts. We sang hymns very quickly and kept the sermon short before retreating to a local bar for more informal Christian fellowship. In Peniscola we had arranged to use the Blue Church overlooking the harbour to celebrate Ascension Day but there was a misunderstanding and the door was locked. We opted to gather on the walls of the ancient town and sing our hymns about Jesus´ farewell to the world from a mountain top. From that vantage point we sang and heard the story again with some real mountains for a background scenery. In December an electrical fault meant that all services in the Catholic Church in Ampolla had to be cancelled but our resourceful church members hastily arranged for our monthly Communion service to be relocated to the modern Pensionistas building. The room was comfortable and warm and the service was much the same! During that service I had the privilege of dedicating a new Holy Communion set. We have had a chalice and patten (that´s the communion cup and plate) carved in wood. It is the handiwork of local artist John Yeats who lives (appropriately!) in the small village of Jesus on the outskirts of Tortosa. Using this set for the first time gave us the feeling that this was something special. One of the aims of our church, with its congregations in Alcossebre, Ampolla and Vinaros, is to serve the communities where we are and to become an integral part of community life. How wonderful to be using the Godgiven skills of a local craftsman in services where it was produced. Because of the confusion over our sudden change of venue that Sunday morning I had mislaid the carefully written prayer of dedication for the wooden cup and plate. But as I began by thanking God for all his goodness an old prayer flashed into my mind. It went something like “Lord Jesus, the Master Carpenter of Nazareth – who on the cross, with wood and nails wrought our full salvation, wield well your tools in this earthly workshop that we may be fashioned in your image.” Since Christians from every denomination - Catholics, Anglicans, Baptists, Methodists and more – celebrate Communion to remember the love of God with Jesus on a wooden cross it is a wonderful reminder of the true deep meaning of the service. And if our shapes and figures have changed for the worse after some Christmas over- indulgence it is good to know that God, our Master Craftsman, is interested in more than good healthy living – but in making us lovely and beautiful people inside. It is said that the late Mother Teresa radiated the love and strength of God and you could tell it just by looking at her.
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The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 10
PUERTO
VIDA BUENA That Elusive Six-Pack Commercials showcasing picture-perfect bodies vow that you too can enter the Promised Land of rockhard bodies and ripped abs. All it takes is a few minutes of your time, their equipment and a good credit card number. Magazine ads touting the “before” and “after” belly effect of popping diet pills also offer quickfixes as long as you’re willing to pay for them. Commercials that claim something that is too good to be true typically is too good to be true. Getting a six pack takes a lot of work, but the infomercials are trying to convince you that if you buy their product you’ll get it in minutes a day. If only it were that easy to get that awesome ripped, six-pack. So here comes the ‘ugly’ truth: To sport washboard abs of the likes of footballer David Beckham, Olympic swimmer Mark Foster, X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole and singers Usher and Shakira, you need to be genetically blessed, eat healthy and exercise - a lot. I know what you’re thinking: If “awesome abs” are out of my league, I may as well just curl up on the couch with a bag of chips and continue watching the miracle work of the cynical medical genius “House” or CSI’s forensic scientists on television. Ultimately, this defeatist attitude will only add more kilos to your frame, zap your energy and likely deteriorate your health condition and physical well-being. Studies have shown that physical inactivity and an unhealthy diet are risk factors for chronic illnesses, including diabetes, heart disease and obesity.
will magically disappear. However, spot reduction diet for a week—such as never works. two cola drinks (at 155 calories per cola that When we gain weight, we gain weight over the equals 310 calories) entire body. Everybody has areas on their bodies already brings you one where we store more or less fat. Hence, when we step closer to a slimmer lose weight, we lose it in similar proportions. The waist line. idea that you can target specific areas for weight loss, such as the torso or buttocks, simply doesn’t For most people, a work. healthy weight loss goal is no more than 500-1000 Body Type - Your body type also plays a role. grams a week. "Apple-shaped” body types, especially in men, tend to store more fat around the waistline; “pear Still, the most effective shaped” body types tend to have heavier hips and and efficient way to trim thighs. Too much fat in the midsection also body fat and gain lean muscle mass, which is the increases the risk for serious chronic diseases, only way to a well-defined physique, is to make such as high blood pressure and diabetes. physical activity part of your daily routine. Reducing fat layers all over your body, but especially in the midsection, can prevent such Exercise Guidelines life-threatening diseases from developing in the According to recommended exercise guidelines, first place. Also, it’s no accident that people with healthy adults, older adults and adults with great abs have low body fat. disabilities should engage in at least 2.5 hours of weekly moderate-intensity aerobic exercise, such In general, that means 14-20 percent of body-fat as brisk walking. To gain lean muscle mass, adults for women; 6-13 percent of body fat for men. should also incorporate strength-training at least twice a week. A well-designed strength-training Genetics is also a factor. program will strengthen bones, muscles and Some people build muscle easier than others. A connective tissue. body builder and an endurance athlete may have the same low body fat percentage, but the body Not only that. Regular physical activity is also key builder’s ab muscles will be much larger and have for controlling stress levels. A lot of patience and greater definition between them than a marathoner a commitment to doing the work are guaranteed who has lean abs, but not necessarily the muscle to bring results. size. “We don’t put on 10 kilos overnight and we won’t The Importance of Exercise and Diet lose 10 kilos overnight,” Both (diet and exercise) are very important (in trying to achieve better-looking abs). Since most “Stick with a plan, be consistent and you will see people tend to have an easier time cutting calories the results. And if you have a setback, don’t beat out of their daily diets instead of stepping up their yourself up over it. Just get back into your routine.” workout routine, here are some simple tricks to cut extra calories: Julian A. Phillips • Reduce added foods such as mayonnaise, www.fitness-philosophy.com butter, sauces and high-caloric salad dressings • Instead of skipping desserts altogether, treat yourself to your favourite dessert three times a week and only eat half • Try to cut back on sodas and alcoholic beverages, which tend to be high in calories • Don’t skip meals. This often leads to binge eating • Eat breakfast every day • Get enough sleep
The Truth About Better Abs The good news is that working on a healthier, more physically active lifestyle, doesn’t have to be painful. It just takes consistency and a willingness to stick to a plan that’s right for you. While not everyone will be able to build the perfect abs, trimming overall body fat can go a long way toward a flatter tummy. Why Spot Reduction Doesn’t Work A common fallacy that many people cling to is that Here’s another way to look at it. by working the ab muscles alone, the fat layers Since 500 grams of stored fat contains 3,500 calories, cutting 300-500 calories out of your daily
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THAT’S LIFE... To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 11
DIARIO DE UNA FAMILIA PART II DIABOLOS, FACE-LIFTS, TEA COSIES AND ELEPHANTS In Southampton, a crowd was waiting for the ship that got lost; they waved at us and gave us a warm welcome. As we were going down the stairs to catch the train to London, a soldier handed me a bar of chocolate - perhaps that was his ration.
and we made our own entertainment by making silhouette figures of bunny rabbits until the projector was repaired and were able to continue to watching the film.
My mother was able to find herself employment “Hello Margarita, take it and enjoy it,'' he said. in a ‘rich’ woman's house three days a week, from '' Gracias”, I said. I often think of that poor soldier 9.00 am until 1.00 o'clock. One day she came going to war. home feeling very concerned for the lady she worked for. The lady had returned home and had Upon arriving in London, the Red Cross was to be escorted from her car by some friends who waiting for us with tea and biscuits. We were given were helping her as the poor lady's head was gas masks. They were horrible. They smelt of bandaged down to her neck. Mother could only rubber and looked like an elephant’s head. assume that she had been in an area where a bomb must have exploded, and the extent of her The train took us to our hotel, the Kensington Place injuries had been caused by the blast. Mansion. We soon settled in, - the beds were soft and comfortable, and then we heard the bombing. The following day, however Mother found out the true cause as she met with her friend Susan who We had not given any thoughts to the war in worked for a friend of the unfortunate lady. Mother London. The bombs were above our heads, we told Susan how she had seen the lady return were watching them drop on top of buildings, covered in bandages and looking ever so sore. houses and shops while listening to the sirens of Susan at this point couldn't stop laughing. the fire brigade and ambulances rushing to the “Herminia” she said, “you didn't fall for that; I’ll tell scenes of devastation of what was left behind. you what really happened. The lady had had a face-lift, and when you kept on saying how sorry We hadn’t been there very long when our hotel you were to see her all bandaged up, she must itself was hit. We were on the move again this time have tried very hard not to laugh, as her face would to The Camden Hill Gate Hotel. It seemed that have cracked. That wouldn't do any good to the wherever we went everything was in uproar, what repairs on her wrinkled face”. Both woman had a with the windows and buildings constantly shaking. good laugh and mother felt relief that it wasn't any thing serious but just a capricious lady. A few days had passed and London was still being bombed, One of our sister Hotels, Kings College, The air raids continued and the shelters continued was struck. A Gibraltarian woman suffered a heart to fill with people attempting to escape the dangers attack and died as the fire brigade tried to get her outside. My brother Emilio and sister Rosalia would out of the demolished building. Because of what often prepare bread and butter sandwiches in had happened the people didn’t want to stay preparation of a lengthy stay. On one occasion another day in London. They were scared and Mother had yet to join us and we wondered why wanted to go back to Gibraltar. As for us children, she had not arrived. She was overdue, something we still managed to entertain ourselves. Every must have happened; she was never late these afternoon we danced outside the square and sang days. Rosalia tried to ease our minds by saying Spanish songs. The neighbours would come and “The lady must have given her extra jobs to do watch us perform. A few girls would play with their Don't worry, nothing has happened, she'll be here diabolos, and the one that would take the diabolo soon. the highest and still be able to pick it up on the string would be the winner, My sister Rosalia was the best. She had perfected the art of throwing it the highest and would then catch it upon its decline on the string with very little effort. One evening the W.R.V.S. (Women’s Royal Voluntary Service) organised some entertainment for us. One lady sang with a beautiful operatic voice but as soon as she started to sing there was laughter in the audience. Another act was a team of young lads doing acrobatics on a vaulting horse. One of the young ones missed his footing, failed to do it correctly, and missed the jump. Again we laughed at the poor boy. My mother was furious how can people be so cruel and ignorant when all they want is to give us a little bit of pleasure. The films they showed us were like home cinemas. As all the kids were happily watching a Laurel and Hardy film, all of a sudden there was a break in transmission. The screen became white and bare,
True enough a little while later, mother appeared, concerned and worrying about our safety more then her own. She explained that she had come out of the building where she worked finding that the area had been severely bombed and some of the roads had been closed. There where no buses,
only the fire brigade and ambulances tending to the casualties. She had attempted to cross the road when an arm reached out from a shop porch and had grabbed her from behind. The arm belonged to a female Air Raid Warden. They stood watching the events and turmoil unfold around them as debris flew from a plane which had made it’s final descent and crashed into a building. Mother had experienced extreme danger and had had a very lucky escape. The next day mother got up early to go to the Association For War Relief. There was a meeting she wouldn't want to miss. She left holding a little parcel, her contribution to the cause. No matter how little it might be the money would help someone. The hall was packed with people, there were buyers and those contributing and of course the organisers. The articles were displayed on one long table and some smaller tables alongside. Everyone was looking at the beautiful handmade works. Mother came home very proudly holding a certificate, for contributing something so important that she had been awarded 3rd prize in her class. She was over the moon. Her prize was a tea cosy, shaped as a hen with six teacup cosies in the shape of the chicks. It was a gesture so simple which brought us so much pleasure during worrying times. I appreciate that these events may appear trivial compared to the modern everyday pastimes we experience today in safety, but looking back it is amazing how even the smallest of memories has some relevance to the dangerous and uncertain way of life we were experiencing at that time and makes us truly appreciate what we went through. My how times have changed. I recall on another occasion that my brother Antonio and a friend Alfredo were escorted home by a Policeman and were accused of breaking a shop window. My brother and his friend had gone walking with their catapults in hand looking for a space to aim at tin cans. Unfortunately on this particular day they had come unstuck as when returning home they had seen three older boys - one of which had thrown a stone smashing the shop window in the process. The three of them ran away and as they say my brothers were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Obviously they tried to defend themselves by saying that it was not them, butto no avail and Antonio and Alfredo were summoned to face the judge in court.
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 12
DIARIO DE UNA FAMILIA CONT... Alfredo's parents weren't very amused and they worried until the day of the court hearing. Mother felt the same as she had never had to face the police or a court before. When the day of the court came, the whole of our family was apprehensive to see what could happen to Antonio and Alfredo. I remember standing behind the front door watching them get into the car. Rosalia and the boys were watching from the upstairs window and we all watched as they disappeared down the road. Brother Johnny was having a lovely sleep and I thought that if I joined him it would help to pass the time until their return.
took me to Hyde Park. It was here that I met Dorita, a pretty little girl with blonde curly hair and blue eyes. Dorita had a ball and we played together in the green fields, while from above huge grey things that looked like elephants leered over us. They were filled with gas and attached to the ground by a steel cable, posing a threat to the low flying aircraft and incoming pilots who had been sent on their bombing raids.
Prior to Dorita returning home, I gave her my rag doll - the one and only toy I had. The doll's head and the arms were made of some sort of china and the body was made of material, but I loved it. I woke up hearing noise in the living room and It reminded me of Dorita. upon making my way downstairs noticed Antonio was smiling and mother’s face seemed to have lit The bombing was still active. We could still hear up a little. “It's good news” I thought. Mother was them dropping near by continuously with no let telling the story of how it had all turned out right up. The war continued - the black outs, the gas for our boys. A witness had come forward a few masks, having to go to the shelter... days after the event had taken place and named the boys involved. The policeman had been We would walk to the underground shelter on reprimanded for not investigating the true events Hyde Park corner. Strangely, I used to love that of what had actually happened. However, with narrow long walk with the walls on each side of very little Police authority these days I wonder the road with the perfumes from the flowers what would happen if a similar occurrence took protruding off the walls. The pleasure that gave place today. me as we went hiding from the bombs. Even in troubled times God's creation still carries on. Upon arrival the Red Cross would find us a place to settle down for the night. Rosalia used to hate it, however the boys and I didn't mind. We felt safer there. The Red Cross were marvellous. They would come checking to see if we required anything, bringing us cups of tea. Then as a matter of routine the following day we would collect all our blankets and go home the same way along that narrow perfumed road. It was not long before Rosalia found work in a make-up factory. I can still remember the floral essence lingering on Rosalia’s work tunic. Friends and family would sometimes come to see Ironically, the perfume as I recall was named us. They would stay at the St.Catherine, or Santa Poppy. Each Friday night, she would bring Johnny Catarina as we called it. On one occasion, they and I a little gift. Nothing big or expensive, but no
matter how small we used to love it. Nearly every woman working in the factory wore a fashioned coloured croquet hair net holding her hair back in place. I can vividly remember my sister wearing a lilac one. I also remember my sister coming home one night. "At work everyone is talking about a film reshowing at the local cinema called, “Gone With The Wind’, shall we go to see it tonight?" Her babbling chat was infectious and even though it was only in English my mother and sister went to see it anyway thoroughly enjoying it in the process. Rosalia swooned and drooled over Clarke Gable, hoping in some small way that the “Senor” she may marry one day would resemble this caballero.
Although, we had become used to the hustle and bustle and the dangers London had to offer, it would not be long before we would be moving on again.
LITTLE ONES... A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
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As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
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The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 13
MORE MISCELLANY PARSON PAUL’S DIARY . . . .
MAKE YOUR WAY TO
I am reminded of that graffiti which says “Change is inevitable – except from vending machines!” Since I grew up in a Church of England family I was quite used to people like the Sunday School leader who banned any modern hymn tune, including the version of “At the Name of Jesus” which is the staple diet of Songs of Praise on television nowadays, simply because it was new and different. Change is no more popular in churches now than it was then. A wise and experienced bishop once told about visiting a country church and meeting a man who had been Churchwarden for thirty years. The bishop said; “I suppose you have seen a lot of changes in your time.” “Yes”, replied the man “and I´m proud to say I´ve opposed every one of them.” Our English speaking church, St Christopher´s, includes three congregations at Alcossebre, Vinaros and Ampolla. In Alcossebre, where our weekly service patterns had been unchanged for four years, we are making every Sunday a Holy Communion service rather than the system which alternated each week with a more general service. In Ampolla we have been thrilled to improve the service pattern for our Northern congregation so that on each first and third Sunday at 12.30pm we will have a Holy Communion service in the Catholic church there every month. This is possible because we have a retired minister working with us and can manage to provide more services. I hope there will be no more tweaking of service types and times this year but I am sure that by providing standard services at regular times will help people – who might have had to think hard to remember whether it was the fourth Wednesday of the month or not. Anyway, we are more accessible now, so come and give us a try. Living in Spain is full of surprises. A few days ago I was driving up the brand new road into the mountains – even though the new airport up the road is not yet open. I was admiring the majesty of the mountain range and listening to the national classical music station on Spanish radio. They played the whole of Elgar´s Enigma Variations which was written within sight of the Malvern Hills in Worcestershire. How bizarre to be listening to such very English music in our Iberian setting. In many parts of the world people are complaining about the weather this year. We could also add complaints about the calendar to our list. Easter Sunday falls at the very end of April – on almost the latest day that it can happen and that means that Lent also starts late. For local festivities it means that the Carnivals with their brightness and jollity almost clash with other traditions such as the Fallas in Benicarlo and Valencia. In church that has given us a bit more time to plan Ash Wednesday in our three churches. In Ampolla we shall be meeting every Wednesday during Lent at 11am in the Parish Room overlooking the harbour for a discussion about what we believe and practice. It seems suitable to be doing that when the weekly market is full of hustle and bustle outside because the New Testament reminds us that it was in the market-places that the Christian faith was first preached and spread. For news about Lent, our services and other activities check the website http://www.azaharanglican.org/ Paul Needle is the English Vicar serving local congregations in Alcossebre, Ampolla, El Perello and Vinaros. He can be contacted on 662 482 944.
ALCOSSEBRE’S NEWEST VENUE Drop in for a coffee and chat. Discover our range of English books, bric-a-brac and clothes.
OPEN EVERY TUESDAY & FRIDAY 11.00am - 2.00pm Just down the alley from Cioffi’s and the Chinese Restaurant. Just up the alley from Valentin’s Restaurant
St. Christopher’s English Speaking Church... Serving the local community and visitors to our town. MIND YOUR LANGUAGE! A polish man moved to England and Is there any infidelity in your marriage? married an English girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player. along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyers office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and then proceeded to ask some questions.
No What I mean is does your wife beat you up? the lawyer then asked feeling more and more exasperated. No I always up before her.
Feeling he was getting nowhere the Lawyer enquired. Why do you want Have you any grounds? asked the this divorce? lawyer. She going to kill me. Yes an acre and half and nice little home replied the polish man. Horrified the Lawyer continued anxiously. “What makes you think No I mean what is the foundation of that?” this case? The lawyer continued. I got proof. The It made of concrete said the polish Polish man stated man. firmly. I don’t think you understand. Does What kind of either of you have a real grudge? proof? probed the asked the lawyer Lawyer. No, we have a carport, and not need To which the man one. replied - She is I mean what are your relations like? going to poison me !! She buy a the lawyer asked bottle at drug store and put in shelf in All my relations in Poland. Replied the bathroom. I can read English pretty good and it say Polish Remover. Polish man
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 14
LOS CABALLOS DE BOCA it is therefore advisable to obtain as much information direct from the horses mouth as they There are many things to consider when trying to say prior to entering into any of these processes decide upon moving to Spain. There are also many rather than complain after the horse has bolted. things which you need to know which may make life The British Embassy together with their various easier once you are here. consulate offices are able to provide a variety of Very often various processes in applying for information and advice on many subjects. These something, whether it be an Empadronamiento or can include amongst others property issues, driving buying a property may appear confusing, and further licence and vehicle regulations, Education, to the initial confusion in such processes this is not pensions, benefits and healthcare, registration of helped by the many ‘chinese whispers’ which births, deaths and marriages, and Employment become freely available from other ex-pats who issues. have moved here and wish to relay their own For this reason, in conjunction with the British experiences. Consulate in Barcelona, every month we will be Unfortunately on some occasions the information looking at different aspects of some of the many provided is incorrect - please remember not every issues affecting those of us who have chosen to live case is the same, and rather than enter into in these sunnier climbs. something that may cause problems at a later date,
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR
your name, and the deeds to your house or a copy An easier life of your rental contract. Although you may have to return to collect your certificate, the actual You’ll find you need your padrón certificate to carry out various administrative tasks, such as register registration is completed all on the same day. for healthcare, register your car with Spanish number plates or enrol your children in school. WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS? More information can be found on WHAT IS THE PADRÓN? Once you’ve completed the simple process, you www.residenteseuropeos.com/padron_en.php · Padrón - a list of all the people who live can begin to enjoy all the advantages being on the padrón offers, such as: in a certain town · Empadronarse / Empadronamiento - Better public services PADRÓN STATUS CHECKS the act of registering yourself on this list Central Government Our understanding from talking to local and with your local town hall. allocates money to the national authorities is that there is currently a WHO SHOULD REGISTER? different municipalities one-off exercise underway to check the accuracy according to how many of the padrón registers. This means you may be Officially all residents in Spain are required by law people are on the contacted to confirm your status on the padrón. If to register on the padrón, yet many British ex-pats padrón. Therefore, if you you are contacted, you will be asked to answer to still have not done so. Perhaps some view the are not registered, your remain active on the padrón and if you don't then padrón as a means of vigilance by the state, in you may be removed from the register. If you are ‘big-brother’ fashion. However, in reality, it is town hall is losing money for the provision of health not contacted you are not required to confirm your simply a way for the town hall to know how many centres, police officers, fire fighters and schools. status. people live in their area, without entering into Access to benefits and social care investigations as to a person’s official residence For certain services (e.g. social services) you may status or financial affairs. In addition, the You must be on the padrón for a certain period of be required to show a recent padrón certificate information provided at registration is confidential time to take advantage of some income-related which is less than 3 months old. This is normal benefits and other aspects of social care available and protected by data protection laws. procedure and is not related to the above through social services at your town hall. mentioned project. HOW DO I REGISTER?
REGISTERING ON THE PADRÓN
A reduction in taxes
You don’t have to own your house to register, just have an address where you habitually live, no matter whether you are the owner, you rent, or live with family or friends. Nor is registration a long drawn out registration process. Simply go to the padrón office of your town hall and fill in the form they provide. Take along official identification, such as a passport, and also your NIE or residence certificate/card, a recent utility bill in
Depending on the town hall, registration on the padrón could mean up to 50% off Property Tax, as well as reductions in certain community charges and inheritance tax.
Non-EU citizens are required to renew their padrón certificate in any case. Please contact your locality authority about any changes to the padrón registration process.
Furthermore, those on the padrón can also often The British Consulate in Barcelona can be enjoy discounted courses, leisure and cultural contacted at the following address: activities run by the town hall. British Consulate Voting rights Avda Diagonal 477 - 13 In order to register to vote in local or European 08036 elections, you must first be registered on the Barcelona padrón. Tel: (+34) 933 666 200 Fax: (+34) 933 666 221
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 15
TENEMOS QUE RISA MALE OR FEMALE ? A Hot Air Balloon is Male to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it (of course, there's the hot air part, too). Sponges are Femalethey're soft, squeezable and retain water.
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A Web Page is Female it is always getting hit on. The underground is Male it uses the same old lines to pick people up. An Hourglass is Female over time the weight shifts to the bottom. A Hammer is Male Apples are Female the best ones are at the top of the tree. Most it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 men don't want to reach for them as they're years, but it is handy to have around. afraid of falling and getting hurt. A Remote Control is Female it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, Wine is Male it begins as a grape, and it's up to women to and while he doesn't always know the right tread on it until it turns into something buttons to push, he keeps trying!
WE SPEAK THE ABOVE LANGUAGES FLUENTLY
LITTLE ONES... A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
acceptable to have dinner with.
A Water Faucet is Female it can turn hot or cold in just a matter of Ziploc Bags are Male they hold everything in, but you can see right moments. through them. A Safety Pin is Male it is often useful in an emergency. Photo copiers are Female -
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the A Foreign Movie is Female right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc it is not always completely understood. if the wrong buttons are pushed. A Computer is Female even your smallest mistakes are stored in A Tyre is Malememory. it goes bald and it is often over-inflated.
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The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
THE CATALUNYA CHRONICLE
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
BECOMES
The little girl said,"When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
THAT HEROIC CLEAN LUNACY
The teacher asked,"What if Jonah went to hell?"
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The little girl replied,"Then you ask him."
ELEMENTARY MY DEAR WATSON... Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.” Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?” Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.” And Holmes said: “No Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody’s stolen our bloody tent.”
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 16
GROWING NICELY WINTER GARDENING This late December morning, with its brilliant blue sky and deliciously warm sun seems almost like summer to me, wandering around the garden, dead heading some new miniature roses I bought several weeks ago for instant colour in a supermarket but now I am admiring new sprays of tiny leaves that have appeared on each plant. Enjoying my collection of Euryops (E.pectinatus) which I pruned just over a two months ago now aglow with an abundance of bright yellow flowers. The climber colloquially named ‘star of Christ’ (see picture, ideas anyone as to its proper name) is like a cloth of gold and still covered with bees industriously making the most of the shortest days. The large succulents unnoticed in the background are now shouting, ‘look at me’ as their buds suddenly swell with colour giving the promise of exotic flowers for the early months of the year. Some cuttings gleaned from the waste bins are now growing nicely and if I am very lucky they might even bloom this year.
a few more but that feels such an extravagant luxury in these straightened times. Before I left on my trip, I spent every spare minute pruning to get it done in time. It was difficult to cut back the growth that was so luxuriant, after the heavy autumn rains. I needed to cut back very severely and overcome my instinctive reluctance to be so harsh, particularly the hedge of Myoporum (M.laetum) which has grown significantly taller and so dense that I couldn’t easily walk between the plants. Last year I did some experimental pruning on the hedge, some Myoporum were pruned completely stripping every side stem from the few main uprights, pruning back to three or so main stems, to encourage only upward growth; in response some of these plants have grown 40 or 50 cm. Others I only shortened the side shoots in order for them to become thicker. They indeed did put on growth all over but didn’t grow much taller. Some I didn’t prune at all, thinking I would get better coverage if I prune half of the hedge every other year.
Having just returned from the arctic conditions in the UK, where it is truly winter, although my English garden looked very beautiful under a thick blanket of snow, the bedraggled remains of summer annuals, lie dead in their window boxes and pots which are now awaiting the thaw, and Now on reflection, because the need to be completely renewed was a very sad hedge shelters the garden from the sight! road, as well as offering privacy it also deflects the wind as it crests What a contrast to the hill to cut across the garden, this beautiful with its’ powerful destructive gusts. Catalan morning, I have decided in order to get the my large collection optimal protection; the hedge needs of pots here in to be strong as well as being as tall as possible. I comparison seems know that I must therefore prune every plant back a much less to the main stems every year until they reach its daunting task. It’s a maximum height, encouraging the stems to grow sheer pleasure into strong trunks. Only then will I allow side shoots cleaning them up, to branch out. I will follow the same strategy of pulling out and cutting back the side shoots of all minor branches replanting the many until the whole plant is mature, before I allow small side plants branches to grow all the way up the stem, like that have grown evergreen trees, and hope that it will have the from summer desired effect. cuttings. I always plant any broken Like most gardeners pruning has always been my stem just around the autumn/winter task. I have learned over the years sides of the pots, mostly Geranium (Pelargonium) to do all the hard work in my garden in the winter and Tradiscantia (T.fluminensis) they usually grow and to forget the weeds in the summer. I have cut very well with no extra care. Unfortunately last the Plumbago, (P.capenensis) almost to the weeks’ icy wind has killed a beautiful bank of grey, ground even cutting the last of the flowers; in fact, woolly haired leaf, pink flowering Tradiscantia I will prune hard every climbing plant if it flowers (T.sillamontana). Thankfully though, several small on the same year’s wood. However here in cuttings under shelter have survived. I’m now Cataluña I like to prune most of the shrubs several tempted to add a few winter flowering viola or times a year for each time they finish their flush of cyclamen and extend the collection of pots to just flowering, it encourages them to produce more and if I am very lucky I get a second or even a third
show of colour. I am not much good at dead heading, firstly, there are just so many flowers, and secondly, many are close to the ground, I have tried what I hoped would be an easy way of cutting flower heads with shears, in order to bring on another carpet of living colour. But I found impossible for me physically to get down low enough, and the other reason for my reluctance is that I am very aware of the myriad of small creatures and insects that live amongst the low growing creepers and I have no wish to disturb them or to be accidentally bitten or stung. Enough about hard work and sore fingers, and more about taking stock and organising the pot plants at this time of year when it is very important to clean and feed them, it is essential to sort out any tender perennial plants, putting them away somewhere sheltered or undercover. As for all those pots that have been in flower all summer, it is time for them to be rested, trimmed, cleaned and protected until the spring. I have ruthlessly divided the roots of my ancient specimens of Clivia (C. miniata and C. nobilis) and Agapanthus, (A. affrcanus) both of which are all frost tender. They like to live in pots and seem to survive well outside here but only if they are sheltered from the dreaded winter winds. I have checked for any seeds from the Agapanthus and planted them out, unearthed divided and transplanted in fresh compost. Although they like to have their roots systems restricted, they eventually become too compacted. This year
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 17
STILL GROWING... they all needed major surgery, cutting the compact root system with a saw! This has a double benefit for it both enables them to continue growing well, it also increases the number of plants, providing me with a stock of ready gifts for next year.
to grow in pots for many years. I have given these special attention, cleaned trimmed and fed, and I hope to be rewarded for the effort by a spectacular show of flowers, in the next few months, when they come into their own and really repay all the patient waiting.
These semi-tender pot plants are now situated in a sheltered sunny spot, arranged with their back to a wall, if the temperature suddenly drops and it turns extremely cold, I can always throw a tarpaulin or plastic sheet over them as a temporary protection.
The Geraniums (Pelargonium) will also benefit from a hard prune, I usually cut the scented leaf specimens, which grow in the flower beds, very hard, and I feed them at the same time to get them to encourage new foliage. Some of the more decorative larger flowering specimens could now The Cyclamen bulbs do with re-potting into something grander, situated and Hippeastrum are somewhere sheltered. such good value in the overall pot I still need to plant out at least half my pots collection because containing smaller garden plants, little shrubs and they are winter / climbers that needed a little extra care and spring flowering, protection during the hot dry months, before taking which make them their chances, competing with the giants in the suddenly elegant and borders. Some have now grown much too large showy, they also like for their pots. It is ideal weather at the moment
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY...
Have you ever noticed the people who tell you to calm down . . . are the ones that got you mad in Do you ever wonder about those people who the first place. spend 2€ a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. Trust in God, God understands all . . . except for legal small print It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express A penny saved is . . . a government oversight lane. Money can't buy happiness . . . it can certainly How can a two pound box of sweets make a rent it for a while. person gain five pounds? Two wrongs don’t make a right, but ... Three Life is not measured by the number of breaths we rights do make . . . a left. take, but by the moments that take our breath away. If they sound cute on the phone - add two stone. Experience is something you don’t get until... just A knight in shining armour can turn out to be a after you need it retard in tin foil.
for this job as it is quite cool and damp. I have also been growing ginger root (from the supermarket) in a pot, which has reached approximately 15cm and I have the idea that it wants to grow taller but I wonder whether that will survive the cold months, maybe I will take it inside this year and plant it out in the garden in the spring and try to get a good crop next year. A useful tip is to make a potting table to protect your back from the strain of constant bending, take extra care with large heavy pots. Although the planting out will take more energy and will be harder on the back but the reward for the effort expended when the plants thrive in their new environment in the summer is repaid many times over with the added bonus that my pots now look smart and fit to be on display!
LITTLE ONES... The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun had made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
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The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 18
LOS AMIGOS DE ALCOSSEBRE The Friends of Alcossebre wish all their supporters and friends a Very Happy New Year, and thank everyone for their marvellous support during 2010. The last year has seen innovations, reformations and celebrations – none of which could have been as successful as they were without all the endeavours assistance and time given by all the members and those we help support.
involved found this a really worthwhile and satisfying task. Due to the restricted size of the shop, during the year we have been sending our excess clothing to Cáritas in Castellón to help with their good work. Other assistance is available from the Friends for those in temporary need of wheel chairs, zimmer frames, crutches, etc.
The AGM was held in May at Bar Flamingo and In spite of ‘hard times’ which have struck world-wide, in 2010 the Friends was well supported by the Members/Volunteers. of Alcossebre were able to maintain their objective of supporting the local The Committee saw some changes and community, and to make a record total of 17,600€ in donations for the members were sad to see Charles Mustard benefit of an increasing number of local organisations. retire – he had been Chairman since the Association’s inception in 2006 – and two other Fund-raising is largely based on the shop in El members also retired. The new Chairman is Centro in Las Fuentes – and in April, we gave it Brian Spearpoint and he has taken the Friends a ‘facelift’ and greatly improved the appearance forward through this busy year. The Committee and arrangements inside – much to the is delighted to feel that we are becoming part of admiration of many who shop there. This led to the way of life not only for the expats in Alcossebre, but our aims and ‘Specials’ being held in and around the shop on objectives are being welcomed by the local Spanish residents – two of Saturdays – and these have encouraged us to whom have joined the Committee, and several of whom work in the shop. extend the shop’s opening hours in 2011 to include Saturday mornings – the shop will be Throughout the year the Friends of Alcossebre open from Monday to Saturday, from 10am to have been very grateful for all the donations of 1pm. clothes, books, bric-a-brac and other items which are received. Without these, the shop But all is not work – social events started in 2010 cannot function. We thank our wonderful with the Valentine’s Dinner and Dance at Cheers, teams of members (volunteers) who help out and we were back there for the Christmas Dinner in so many ways and all those who support the and Dance. shop and all our events. We receive generous patronage from Grupo Albert, help with keys from Eurohorizon, and financial After a successful initial attendance in 2009 at support and encouragement from the Mayor and Councillors who frequently the Christmas Fayre held at Bar Flamingo, we attend our events. returned there in 2010 for both the Easter and Christmas Fayres. Looking forward to 2011 the Committee are organising a Grand Ball, to be held on Saturday, The ‘big’ fund-raising events were the Garden 26th March 2011 in the La Cupula Restaurant at rd Fete held on 23 June in the gardens of the Eurhostal, with entertainment by Daniel Evans. Restaurante 21 in Las Fuentes which was An event not to be missed! Tickets available opened by local Mayor, Francisco Juan Mars, soon. with all proceeds donated to the Nico Foundation. Plans are already in hand to The Friends of Alcossebre aim to continue repeat this event in June 2011. In April we held supporting and being of benefit to the local our annual Charity Walk in aid of the AECC. community in many ways in 2011 and we hope We were very fortunate that the Sutherland Schools Pipe Band was in to receive the support and encouragement for Alcossebre at the time and they led off the walk, which took a new route which we have been so grateful in the past. A celebrating the new coastal pathway to the Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year to light-house in the Sierra d’Irta, and ended, for you all! those who wished to, with food, drink and a raffle The Charity Shop’s opening hours are from Monday to Saturday – 10am to 1pm at El Centro, Las Fuentes, Alcossebre. Tel.: 964 414973. at the Restaurante Mambo. December was a highlight to round off the year – on the 12th, a number of local Spanish Associations prepared a special paella lunch at the Alcossebre Pensioners Club for the Ex-patriate organisations that raise funds for the town. The Friends of Alcossebre feel very proud to have received a plaque in thanks and recognition for our contribution to the town. In the week leading up to Christmas we were able to join forces with the Red Cross and Ayuntamiento to contribute funds to the Red Cross Food Bank in Alcala. Together we prepared the food parcels and finally we were able to help with their distribution to needy families in Alcala and Alcossebre – all those
nd There is a wide range of very reasonably priced 2 hand clothing for all the family, over 1,500 books – all at 1€ each - in English, German and Spanish, and you can always find something interesting in the bric-a-brac section. Donations of good quality, clean, clothing, books and bric-a-brac are welcome at the shop or at the Collection points in the Alcossebre Pensionistas and the Alcala Pensionistas premises. Funds raised in the shop and at special events are given quarterly to local charities and organisations. The shop is run by English and Spanish volunteers and more volunteers are always welcome. http://friendsofalcossebre.page.tl
PLUMBING, ELECTRICS, HEATING, AIR CONDITIONING, SATELLITE TV, INTERNET, PC REPAIR English and Spanish spoken NIE SUPPLIED
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The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 19
LIFE WHEN THE CATS AWAY?
(METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING)
Due to a combination of circumstances it has problem as explained before, we simply cannot fallen to me to write the article this month. expect the 51% to understand so it’s best not to try, just keep mumbling under your breath until I feel it only fair to warn you all that Hemingway they give up! Well, at least until they bring the or Le Carré I am not, and therefore you will not subject up again in 15 years time! find this piece of writing (if you can call it that) liberally sprinkled with words with over 10 letters So, here I am, 8 days on my own AND with or 4 syllables, mainly because I don’t know any! transport, the world is my oyster! I can not only Having said that I notice there are three do all the things necessary in preparation for occurrences already (oops' there’s another one) Christmas, I can shop alone for the secret little presents that I had thought about and planned Well, what is the subject of this article? I thought for months now! I can watch the TV shows I want I might muse awhile on some of the fallacies we to watch. I can go to bed and get up when I want. men seem to suffer from, from puberty and I can pop around to the bar in the square without seemingly for the rest of our lives. The list is taking the dogs for a walk! And many other things endless and, of course, not recognized by that that are on the agenda. particular section of human society that represents 49% or less of the population, An interesting statistic which shows we are already outnumbered and stand no chance in a democratic vote, hence the number of positions such as: Dictators, managing directors, chairman (as apposed to the politically correct chairperson) chef’s etc which are occupied by the unfair sex – a term I feel it is appropriate to use as it is the opposite to the term “fair sex” which passed into general usage years ago and as there are only two sexes it must be politically and grammatically correct. As an aside, it is scientifically proved that, men are in fact, more logical than woman and therefore the thought processes involved in arriving at any conclusions in this article are beyond dispute or argument. The Editor of this publication cannot print any letters received after publication, as there are insufficient trees left in the world, and as a precaution I have gone “ex-Directory” Anyway I digress. It is a well known and widely accepted fact amongst the 49% that we are self sufficient, well organized, plan ahead, run multiple projects simultaneously and generally achieve miracles in remarkably short periods of time and on the few occasions where things don’t quite work out (please will the 51% note there is NO SUGGESTION OF FAILURE HERE) there is always a logical reason why. Herein lies the
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website www.realitypropertyspain.com
It is at this point where I come up against one of the fallacies ingrained into the psyche of the 49% i.e. our ability to prioritise. If we are honest with ourselves we don’t realise the enormity of this task until we are left on our own for a period of time that extends for one week or more. This is because prioritisation has always been secretly, surreptitiously, erotically, laughingly, gently but never blatantly, done for us.
By Peter Rowe It was then it struck home. I am truly on my own and I don’t like it. Gasp, shock, horror? Yes ladies or should I say 51%-er’s, it’s true I do not like it. All the things that are to be done suddenly seem far more difficult, as if my right Arm was missing, which,metaphorically speaking, it is. So, I resolve to make the bed every morning, put the toilet seat down, eat the mountain of food Helen stocked for me in case I could not find the cooker or understand the confusing array of dials and lights on the front of it (instead of feeding it to the dogs or the new recycle bins in the village) or Apocalypse Now happened to take place during her absence. Keep the house clean and tidy rather than wait until two hours before I am due to pick her up. Do the washing, iron what is necessary, water the pot plants - 106 of them failure to do so is a hanging offence, over watering adds drawn and quartered to the sentence – everything else mentioned above would only attract a withering stare and the comment “I should have known better” I’m sorry readers I have to stop writing. I’m getting a splitting headache. Its day two and I’ve still to figure out my list of priorities and once that is achieved they have to be implemented without the input of my right arm! Finally, I feel a strong need – out of fairness you understand – to try one more time to meet my fellow 49%-er’s to try to obtain the guidance I so desperately need!
My first day started by taking Helen to Tarragona Station to catch the 8.04 and as I waved her off my first thoughts were, right what shall I do now? Well, logically I should drive back to Xerta, but you can see where I’m coming from, do I now have to disregard hundreds of years of scientific research all in favour of the 49%? Damn it, I need a cup of coffee and space to think. Time management and planning have now gone out the window within two minutes of being alone! That was a waste of time because I went round in circles to arrive at my starting point. Drastic action was need so I decided to return to Xerta and consult my fellow minority to try to arrive at a consensus as to what I should do. This unavoidably meant a visit to the square and as we have two bars in the square it was fair to consult both minority population centres. Another mistake, it was too early for them, something to do with the night before? And anyway I was now hyper and twitching – no! not bird watching of either variety – from three coffees in an hour! and in any case I have never been in a group of 49%-er’s who could arrive at a consensus on anything.
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 20
LA COMIDA NO BAKE FIG & GINGER CHEESECAKE WITH A CHOCOLATE & HAZELNUT COOKIE BASE RECIPE CREATED BY EURO DELICATESSEN
CHEATS CUISINE Happy New Year to all readers and I hope Christmas went well and that you did not spend too much time in the kitchen. Now our thoughts are maybe turning to soups so here are some that are so quick you will not believe your luck, all you need is a liquidizer or blender and a saucepan. Cream of Corn Soup 450ml of milk 1 tin of corn (450 grams) Salt to taste Dash of Tabasco sauce or a pinch of chilli powder Blend all ingredients for 1 minute. Turn into a saucepan and heat until piping hot.
1 CAKE SERVES 6
Ten Second French Onion Soup
PREPARATION TIME: 30 MINS
INGREDIENTS
750ml of water or stock 3 beef stock cubes 3 medium onions 13 grams of butter
200 g (7 oz) Cottage Delight chocolate & hazelnut cookies 45 g (1 ½ oz) butter - melted
Blend all ingredients for 10 seconds. Turn into a saucepan, bring to the boil and then simmer for 5 minutes.
110 g (4 oz) caster sugar - divided 120 ml whipping cream
To serve french style to each serving with a slice of toasted French bread,sprinkled with grated cheese.
170 g (6 oz) Cottage Delight fig & ginger extra jam 1 X 200g tub of cream cheese METHOD 1. Crush the Cottage Delight cookies and mix with melted butter and 1 tablespoon of the caster sugar. Then press into 18 cm (7 in) cake tin and refrigerate. 2. Whip cream until soft peak stage, add the Cottage Delight fig & ginger extra jam. Blend well and set aside. 3. Beat the cream cheese and remaining sugar together. Fold in cream/fig & ginger extra jam and mix thoroughly. 4. Spread on top of biscuits and freeze for 1 - 2 hours. 5. Put the cake in the fridge for 30 mins and then serve. This will give you the prefect cheesecake without any baking.
Celery Soup 450ml of milk 4 sticks of celery (sliced) 1 slice of onion 1 level tablespoon of flour 6 peppercorns Salt to taste Blend all ingredients for 1 minute. Pour into saucepan and cook, stirring allow to simmer for 2 minutes. Serve hot or cold.
This cheesecake, along with other flavours are now available from the Euro Delicatessen. Chicken Vegetable Soup
EURO DELICATESSEN
C/Santa Anna, 18 - Tarragona Tel: 977 23 22 43 www.eurodelicatessen.net
750ml of water 2 chicken stock cubes 150 grams of cooked chicken (cubed) 1 large carrot (sliced) 2 sticks of celery (sliced) 1 slice of onion Sprinkle of black pepper Blend all ingredients for 10 seconds. Pour into saucepan and heat until piping hot
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 21
ALGO PARA LOS NIÑOS CALENDAR WORD SEARCH
JUST HORSING AROUND
Find all the words listed below within the grid. MONDAY TUESDAY
FRIDAY SATURDAY
JANUARY FEBRUARY
WEDNESDAY
SUNDAY
THURSDAY
MAY JUNE
SEPTEMBER OCTOBER
MARCH
JULY
NOVEMBER
APRIL
AUGUST
DECEMBER
Can you help Jerry the Jump Jockey find his way through the maze to Jester (his horse)?
Did you know? In 1752 King George II ordered 11 days to be wiped from the month of September. The Calendar was previously known as the Roman Julian Calendar and has since been known as the Gregorian Calendar.
LET’S GO DOTTY
A wuzzle is a saying/phrase that is made up of a display of words, in an interesting way. The object is to try to figure out the well-known saying, person, place, or thing that each wuzzle is meant to represent.
ANSWERS ON PAGE 31
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 22
WRITTEN IN THE STARS
“When you wish upon a star, Dreams come true” Says Nenufar
SCORPIO
You’ve had a great season, but it’s not time yet to rest on your laurels. There is still plenty of work to do. Work is the emphasis for Scorpio in 2011 and it’s going to get tough. But effort will bring you up on the crest of the wave. You can manage it. Travel is also on the agenda this year. Perhaps this is in connection with work also. Please be careful what you sign. Best to get it translated first. Finances are good - lucky old you, by the end of 2011 you could be looking for investment possibilities.
SAGITTARIUS
AQUARIUS
Good fortune never leaves Aquarius for long and there is an avenue of abundance ahead of you. Go for it. Now is the time to buy Premium Bonds or have a go at the Lottery. On a more serious note - look after yourself, get plenty of sleep and eat a good breakfast: you have been burning that candle at both ends recently and, as is ever your won’t, spending too much time pondering detail. Light up and spread a little happiness. You can be such good company. All will be well.
PISCES
TAURUS
You may have taken up a new pursuit recently. If not, an opportunity may arise very soon. The launch may not be easy but it is certainly worth pursuing. Please do not lose heart. Relationships may have been slightly taut recently, but you have seen the error of your ways and the path ahead for you and yours appears sunny and, above all, happy. Stick to your guns - do it your way. Thursdays are lucky for you - whatever that means - you may understand - I don’t!
GEMINI
Well, Leo, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday and - yes you are still here and life has gone on quite well since then. Looks like things have changed in your favour. If at the moment you cannot see the advantages change has brought you, the time is coming when you will. There is something that needs to be sorted and I believe it could be of an administrative nature. Could there be a trip to the Town Hall on the horizon? If you know what this means, get it over and get on with your wonderful life.
VIRGO
LEO
Well this is a turn up for the books! Here you are into the New Year, full of good resolutions and you have turned turtle. How are you going to explain your change of mind to family and close friends? It is possible that their reaction to your news may be surprising: don’t forget, they have got to know Sagitario and his/her whims and have learned to take them in their stride. Possibly a document has lapsed or become invalid. No problem - just pop along and get it sorted.
CAPRICORN
Never one to hang around unless you are really happy in company Pisces slings its hook. Actually that is just about the best thing you could do at this point because you have recently found yourself in strange company. Unless you feel 100 per cent comfortable with recent acquaintances. I would strongly advise you to follow that fabled Piscean instinct and keep your distance. On a jollier note, there is something new in your sign. Follow it up.
ARIES
Well you seem to have settled down in the last few weeks. Quite calm, cool and collected. Something or someone is having a good effect on you. Long may it last. On a more serious note - a word of caution. If you are contemplating making an important purchase in the coming weeks, make very sure of what it is you are purchasing. Gemini’s good nature fails to recognise some of life’s pitfalls and not all vendors are squeaky clean. Don’t take a cheque!
Look at you! You’ve certainly perked up since we last met and what a year ahead there is for you. At last you have shed the vestiges of sadness and homesickness which have followed you and have found a good and comfortable niche. Embrace life with open arms because this is certainly the year of Virgo. There is a slight possibility of over indulgence in your sign so take it easy on fatty foods. Otherwise you’re looking fantastic and in your prime - get out there and do your worst!!!
Generally speaking, Capricorn is looking and feeling better as we enter another New Year. Problems are waning and Spring is literally around the corner. Love is in the air: it may appear in the form of a new partner or a stray dog. Whatever ,it is a bond for life and will bring you much joy. It will help you wash away a great deal of painful memories. Take life in your arms and have a wonderful time. 2011 is certainly going to be a ball.
Oh dear, another fine mess - and following on from the last one. When will you realise that the world is full of strange people with crackpot ideas! There is no free meal. That said, there is an area of opportunity opening up to Aries this quarter: this will involve a good deal of hard work but it will be well worth the effort. Expect good news from an old acquaintance within the next couple of weeks. Go easy on the booze and sweeties- could be a bit of over indulgence in your star sign!
CANCER Who said “never again”? Here you are as happy as the proverbial pig in it and all because of a chance meeting (well - not quite chance because the stars did warn you.) Keep up this happiness - it suits you and if anyone deserves it, you do. Look out for your post in the coming days. Something unusual could be winging your way which may be quite surprising. Take this seriously, it could be advantageous.
LIBRA
Well, you’ve come out of your shell. Everybody is so pleased with you and your progress. I cannot place enough emphasis on what is around your sign at the moment. There is something in your aura which has to be sorted out. You know exactly what this is, nbut you are continually postponing putting this in place. 2011 offers you such delights, you don’t want this marred by something niggling in the back of your mind. Seek legal advice: everything can be sorted out. You’ll wonder why you prevaricated so long. It’s going to be a wonderful year!
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 23
REVIEWS PERSIMMON TALES:
When you are next visiting Tarragona city come and relax and have a coffee or tea in
BOOK 1 TALE OF THE LOST SWAN EGG By Kyra Dawson Published by Foden Press
Rodney, Elizibeth and Marina assure you a warm welcome. Open Mon to Fri 8.00am to 9.30pm English and Spanish spoken.
ISBN No:-978-0-9710157-2-2 Book review by Rosie Reay Twitter@RosieReay
Tel: 653 557 524 C/ Joan Baptista Plana 25, near the Eroski Centre
In Vancouver in British Columbia there is one of Canada's most beautiful parks out on a peninsula called Stanley Park. This is not just an ordinary old make believe park. It is so very real. This is where Kyra Dawson's nature characters come to life with beautifully inspired imagery descriptions of their surroundings. This is the home park of Persimmon, a Snowshoe Hair and all his fellow critters who all follow an interesting naming, well thought out pattern to match their own unique personalities, along with their habits, quirks and habitats. Right from the start you want to find a map and locate or second guess where all these friends live. Browse quickly and put a marker in on the page as you will page back and forward to it as the tale unfolds.
peninsula has a seaside beach too! How WOW is while learning about these wonderful creatures that? that roam and swim and play in Stanley Park, Vancouver. I felt I was right there with them. Oh, Will the kids figure out before the adults where the but I wish I really was - it sounds such a fun place lost egg has been hidden and how to rescue it to visit to relax and explore and dream. I am so quickest and in the safest possible way? This is jealous of all those critters who have made it their one of the beauties of this book where reader and home! Kyra Dawson you have done a smashing listener can ask lots of questions amongst job in penning this adventure. themselves. When the book is read then hand the young ones some paper to try and copy the But there are still so many other wonderful illustrations or draw their own pictures, while the illustrations and scenes of lovable characters like older one's can be sat down at a computer pouring Penelope, Gilly, and oh I am a big fan of Mercutio, over the website of www.PersimmonTales.com to and also pesty one's like the Racoons - but you explore the glossary and other details online. will love them one and all. But this book is more than an inspirational descriptor. It has so much charm and Kyra writes delicately with humour evolving in the most unexpected moments, where you find youself chuckling out aloud. You feel like you are there as she draws you into each scene. Marvellous! You are dying for a cup of coffee but it has to wait, because once you start reading you cannot put it down!
Like the Chimona Chronicles companion series of Rosie Reay this book is ideal for early readers, Kyra Dawson crafts into her tale modern day their parents, grandparents, teachers and gadgets and shows how useful they really are in babysitters. an adventure. One of my favourite moments is where she brings the Hummingbird into the story I have been honoured to be part of the editorial and nails its quirky mannersims to the T. The team. Once again the young and upcoming cover picture did make me smile as the black swan illustrator, Candice McMullan excels herself in legs did remind me of the nuns legs from my bringing these little fellows to a wonderful and fun convent school days in Africa and all their white loving visual conclusion. The very young can also finery of their habits (a.k.a clothing). But this is follow along by absorbing and exploring the what Kyra does so cleverly with imagery. It is like detailed scenes from one chapter to the next. A she is holding the reader in the palm of her hands trully delightful and educational story that will and stretches thier imaginations. make readers, both young and older feel like they too are strolling or running and playing in the Teachers could have so much fun in the endless bounds of this exciting Stanley Park or classroom with this book with different children around Beaver Lake or Lost Lagoon.This amazing taking the parts of the different characters, all the
Now who do these names belong to? Are their any others? Oh yes, definitely! But if I was to tell you, it would spoil the story. You need to go read this book. Available as an E-Book and in print off www.FodenPress.com. This is just the first book in the Persimmon Tales and we all look forward to the second one due out in the spring of 2011. Fabulous - already something awesome to look forward to in the coming new year.
WORDPLAY ANAGRAMS Nick Clegg and David Cameron Become I’m cold, cracked, and avenging Margaret Thatcher Becomes That great charmer Election results Becomes Lies - Let’s Recount
MORE THOUGHTS....
Foden Press Rosie Reay rosiereay@fodenpress.com +34 619-772-492 Twitter @RosieReay
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? Why do we go to Burger King order a Double Whopper with a Large French Fry and then insist on getting a Diet Coke?
ENGLISH SPEAKING MECHANICS (CAMILO & JORDI) TYRES, EXHAUSTS, ITV PREPARATION, SERVICES & REPAIRS
Employment application forms always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. Wouldn’t a good response be to write . . . A Good Doctor!
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 24
TALES FROM THE EBRO RIVER VALLEY Well as the year draws to the end one spent a few moments reflecting on what had passed. For many people it was like a failed harvest. We started out with such hope and inspirations in the January of 2010 expecting great things to happen but the recession and the problems that enveloped across the financial world has hit everyone hard. The Brits, I hear other foreign Ex pats continually say, we are a nation of "Moaners". Well once we finished moaning about the horrific winter of 2010 they are once more slap bang in another "winter of discontent" ( to quote a historical phrase). This scuttled my Christmas plans of hope and joy as my youngest son was snow bound in Dorset and his new passport was awaiting collection in Cullingworth -another village afflicted with that dreaded horrible stuff called snow, but way up in Yorkshire! We still wait in anticipation of whether he will get out here or not. So many Ex pats packed up their lives and "living the dream" to move back to the UK. Moved back to what? Yes here in Catalonia, as elsewhere this Ebro Valley has been hit by cutbacks, large scale unemployment, rising prices, closures of shops and bank branches were very visible and the constant threat of emptied properties being burgled or vandalised or as in some worse case scenario, totally stripped bare. Dreadful thing to happen, dreadful people who did it - was it for greed or just to feed their families? The Mossos ask for all crimes to be reported to them. How can they improve on the safety and the control of patrolling and nabbing these intruders, if we don't inform them. It is no good moaning about being robbed if you don't do something about it.
you are held at Rey Carlos's pleasure for a lengthy Catalan with flying colours and now live a happier, spell to cool off your heels.) more integral, more informed life within the bosoms of the local communities. Others faltered at the first In the UK if we go away for a holiday abroad we hurdle. Many have struggled on but lament they and the police a written letter explaining we will be are not "getting anywhere." I myself was advised away, the full residential address or even draw a to continue with Spanish when I came out in 2004 little map, a contact detail where we will be (email and yes it has helped me immensely around all the or telephone number), the name, phone number hospitals, ER's and clinics I must regularly attend and address of a key holders. Now that may be a with my family. But we still seemed to zone in on good idea over here and keep a copy for yourself. other English Ex pats and befriend them. Nothing Also ask the Police Local what else you can do. wrong in that at all, but we never practised the lingo with them. Struggled occasionally in summer to But what we mustn't practice is NIMBY (not in my converse with our neighbours when they moved backyard). Show kindness and consideration to to their cooler retreat away from the humidity of your neighbours and their chattels too as we move the towns. into 2011. If the dogs were over zealous last night, check out safely in the morning as a "walk by" if So in 2010 I decided to confront my demons and things look normal in your neighbourhood. If not, learn Catalan. To my amazement my teacher report them. Tell your Neighbourhood alliance, tell literally lives around the corner from me. Not only your local ajuntament, tell the Mossos or Guardia have I gained so much more from chatting Civil but tell someone. Yet keep yourself safe. amongst the communities, (and possibly making a fool of myself with a mispronounced word.. Yes Do not be put off by approaching the Law enforcers I am still struggling with my stammer on the ll's) here as you have little or no knowledge of the and at last am beginning to grasp what all this language of Spanish or Catalan. The Police are paraphernalia that drops into my postbox is encouraging their staff to attend formal English actually about, I am at last more informed about language learning at the Institute and sit exams. forthcoming events and fiestas and what is going That is why the letter helps even if written in on in my community, apart from who is who etc English. Like us it is easier to comprehend the etc. written word than the spoken word. But be courteous at all times. They will help you if you don't antagonise them.
As we go forth into 2011 also consider as to whether you need additional security devices on your properties. There are many good one's available out there and they do vary in prices. They even have the all dancing, singing and jangling of A lady in Tiveyns had an incident on her property bells one's that you can view remotely from while she was away at the hospital bedside of her anywhere in the world. How neat is that? hubby in Germany and did contact the British Embassy who were a tad more sympathetic, as Last year reported untold numbers of dogs being the Mossos did seem to show insufficient concern poisoned by intruders. This is awful to lose a man's nor read into the urgency of her son's phone call best friend and your guard dog too. However, one asking for assistance. He was still inside the house must take responsibility for not training our dogs when 3 men were trying to force an entry. properly. Always, always train your dogs to accept food only from you or your family, never from a The Police I spoke to said friend nor a stranger. Your dogs will then not how can we protect them if we accept poisoned meat no matter how good it might don't know which properties look. are empty, which are for tourists, who are tourists and Can't teach an old dogs new tricks. Nonsense! who are local? Another thing They're like us- never too old to learn. If you aren't is our crime figures are not so sure how to go about it, there are some very good high because the Ex pats dog training facilities springing up in Catalonia. don't report the robberies! Some of them are run by multi-linguistic Ex pats Good point! others are Catalan. Besides not only can they help you out with that issue they can also train your So how can we work with the Mossos and the local dogs what to do when face with an intruder with a community and our neighbours to keep all our fence pole. It might be worth a try. Yes, everything properties and persons and livestock safer? (No I comes at a cost, but how hard did you work to have am not exciting a riot nor a grand deposition down your home in the sun and your dog is part of the at the Mossos headquarters in Tortosa, as this extended family. Lets keep everyone in the Valley would need to be carefully thought through and safer in 2011. only with the Embassy backing or you will all be detained. The only good that could come out of Many of us have been out here a number of years that situation is you could be fluent in Catalan if now, some have grasped the Castellana or
NONCATALAN CATALAN
But I have gained so many new friends too in English and Catalan. I too feeler happier, more settled, more in control and have learned what a caring friendly race the Catalans are. I found in Hospital Santa Creu in JesĂşs the nursing and medical staff were all so keen to help me along with my Catalan and then in turn for me to help them with their English. They too, like the Police, are attending formal written exams in English at the Institute. So we shouldn't grumble about them. They are doing their bit to integrate within the Ex pat community, we should show respect and reciprocate. Once you make a friend with a Catalan person, you are their friend for life. They regard you as their extended family. How is fabulous is that! I am not perfect (and often mix up my Spanish
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 25
HOTCH POTCH and my Catalan) and don't mean to be preachy. I have such a long way to go and will also go faster, I know, if I did all my written homework exercises! Yet, I know how much I have to gain by knuckling down and to keep practising. So for me 2010 was a mixed year of hardships and hurdles to confront, but successful as well. I achieved certain goals I had set myself at the end of 2009. I had Book One and Book Two in the Chimona Chronicles children's series published first as an E-book and then in print. Book Three will be out in spring 2011 and late summer will see Book Four. I have other dreams and aspirations for more writing across other genres within this wonderful River Ebro Valley in 2011. So take a moment to think what you achieved in 2010. It doesn't matter how small it was, congratulate yourself. Be proud of achieving what you desired. Now move on and positively consider what you want to achieve or do in 2011. You can do it! So crack on and go do it- it will give you so much pleasure in satisfaction that you are not "over the hill yet".
I just know 2011 will be a smashing year. I am more positive now, more focused, more driven by Desire to achieve what I want to do alongside my Caring Duties. I have a wonderful e-book to share with you guys in February issue as my Book Review of the month. I haven't yet finished devouring every word yet, but so far it has helped me out of my selfish self. What is good news, this is another author rising up in Southern Catalonia, from Tivessa no less! While visiting my husband in one of his lengthy stays in Santa Creu Hospital in Jesús I met a number of Expat volunteers, Prue and Rita, Irish Rosey (not me) who regularly visited patients here, along with Vicar Paul Nettle and I commend them on the sterling job they are doing in supporting and up lifting the English spirits (the live one's, that isnot ghosts of Christmas past). But the days are very long in any hospital. Even longer when the patient is not at home with the local language, so these visits are very, very welcomed and I thank them for including my hubby on their visits.
wheels in motion are slowly turning down this avenue. However, a recent phone call I received from this gentlemen highlighted a conversation he had had with a- n- other person who also thought there is a need for a Home Carer Support group in Southern Catalonia. The phrase springs to mind, "Who looks after the Carer?" Most people have only one family member to care for, but there may be others who have two like me. It isn't easy at times and you can feel isolated and not know who to turn to for help or advice. So maybe it is a good idea. Maybe you aren't the carer but would like to help or offer support Please Email me: RosieReay@FodenPress.com Are there other writers or would be writers or poets out there? Please contact me I would love to network more with you all. Also would love to hear from young and old your favourite Catalan or Tortosian phrase - be it the most amusing, the most helpful or the most useless one you ever heard of. Maybe it is just a word or two that made you smile or pass a remark.
Yet, I learned a lot this time him indoors was there and also made new friends with another home I can't wait to receive your emails. carer, Roger (not local to Jesús district) who thankfully also has his friend home with him now. RosieReay@FodenPress.com But what we discovered was all we learned was Twitter@RosieReay from word of mouth at first. We didn’t know what Or find me on Face book or Linked In we were entitled to as residents and citizens of our own villages. To say we were gob smacked was an under statement. Thankfully, for both of us the
MUNCHIE MUNCHINGS Dad’s dog’s name is Xula (pronounced Chula). She is a German shepherd type creature that used to greet all guests by doing something that resembled the twist. She doesn’t do this quite as much as she used to, simply because she doesn’t bend in the middle as easily as she did before. This has something to do with being over weight. Dad has been trying to put her on a diet for ages, but nothing seems to work; until now.
AN ENGLISHMAN ON YOUR RADIO GREAT MUSIC, GOLDEN OLDIES & ROCK. We have had some great comments about The Saturday Show on Radio Cala 107.3fm It’s Based in L’Ametlla De Mar and it goes out at 3 pm on Saturday and is repeated at 11 pm on a Sunday. It’s full of good music From the 60’s, 70’s etc; plus special features and exclusive tracks from unsigned artists from all over the globe. You can text requests to the number below or email. ROCK, POP & SOUL MUSIC AT IT’S BEST!!!
The Munchie in her infinite wisdom, (this must be what it is as she always seems to come up with things I would never even think of) decided that the only way to get Xula to diet was to ensure she didn’t eat her food. How do you do that? I hear you ask. Easily, you eat it for her.
Xula has on one or two occasions beaten the Munchie to the bowl and sat with her large lioness like paws around it, in the vain hope that the Munchie will be too afraid to attempt to rescue the food from Xula’s clutches. No one is ever sure if it’s the sound of Xula’s growling stomach or the Munchie’s mournful moaning that gets the job The Munchie pops round to the family next door done, but the Munchie is invariably victorious. This ostensibly to keep an eye on the grandparents of course happens with all the other meals. and eats breakfast; this is in fact what Xula left over from the night before. The bowl empty, The I can honestly say that Xula’s physique is looking Munchie resumes her post on the doorstep good. Her coat is gleaming her head is up and awaiting the arrival of anything that remotely looks alert she’s even wriggling again. Not surprisingly like it is breathing. she has also taken to exercising most mornings in a sort of on duty, up and down sort of motion in Xula realising her bowl is empty asks for more and front of Dad’s front door, while Munchie, who used receives it. The Munchie upon hearing the sweet to spring over the 4ft garden wall, struggles over sound of rustling paper opens their front door and it one paw at a time dragging her rather round self eats whatever is put out. By now, we can assume, behind her. these are elevenses.
There are podcasts of recent shows available just go to www.ametllamar.cat/calartv/stillrockin email: norman@normanjay.net Web: www.norman@normanjay.net
Tel: 617 162 264 Don’t Forget Wednesdays on www.radiomoralanova.com @ 8.00pm Your voice on the radio!!!
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 26
LA SALUD HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS After Christmas it’s the perfect time Go to a professional: If you are overweight, you should to start planning good eating habits. have a personalised diet developed Use of crash (low calorie) diets is by a nutritionist, a dietitian or an endocrinologist, which should include discouraged as a way to lose the eating patterns that can be repeated weight gained during the holidays. over a long period without stress or anxiety. A diet should not contain unrealistic objectives: a proper diet plan is one that allows you to lose weight but can be followed without sacrificing any essential food.
Dieticians recommend increased physical exercise and proper eating habits for the recovery. It is better to slowly lose the extra kilos gained over Christmas than to try to lose them too quickly, but the most important thing is to return to normal eating habits and increase and maintain physical activity. For this reason it is recommended to do half an hour of exercise at least three days a week, and to gradually return to your pre Christmas weight.
Dietary advice: Do not follow any diet: From now on avoid the "miracle diets" and especially avoid any that promise ‘lose ten kilos in a month’ or ‘three kilos in two days’. You may lose them, but your bad habits will remain, and you will gain them again. Your diet plan should allow you to eat healthily and balanced, with all the necessary nutrients, and without starving or suffering.
lose weight is to adopt healthy behaviours and lifestyles that involve eating healthy foods, physical activity and patience. You have to be aware that these measures are part of a comprehensive strategy, a "game plan" that always has to be followed, i.e. a life plan.
Following a diet, regardless of its characteristics, helps many people living in stressful times; with hunger; lack of well-being and deprivation, Eat five times a day: conditions that do not help long term Avoid restrictive diets as they are not weight loss and that are more healthy. Your diet should contain a conducive to gaining more kilos than reason they should be increased in good breakfast, lunch and proper before starting the diet. the daily diet. light dinner, plus a morning snack and a soft snack. Contrary to popular Therefore, an interesting message On the other hand, there are foods belief, dividing food into five meals a that can be extrapolated is the need you should try to reduce such as day is better than skipping lunch and not to set a "target date", as is usual meat fat and butter. It is also dinner. By not eating you inhibit basal when starting a diet. Miracle diets important to reduce the consumption metabolism and burn fewer calories, follow common approaches such as of alcohol. which results in the opposite effect: "Diet for a week" or "four-day diet", in Ineffective dietary supplements for instead of losing weight you will which you change from one eating weight loss maintain the same weight or even style of excess, to one characterized The Spanish Association of gain wait. by temporary extreme restriction. At Dieticians-Nutritionists do not other times, instead of setting a recommend the use of food timeframe for following the diet, it is supplements or dietary supplements customary to set a target weight ("if for weight loss advising that neither you lose 7 kilos”, "when you get to 62 have been adequately tested for kilos”) which, once achieved, serves quality, safety or efficacy. as a target to stop dieting or abandon good eating habits as you have These products base their reached your goal. assumptions on the efficiency benefits of one (or several) of the To lose weight you have to eat, but following substances: you have to do it in a healthy way and artichoke, caffeine, poly phenols, armed with advice so you can avoid calcium, cascara, chitosan, citrus mistakes and not be tempted to try aurantium, CLA, conjugated linoleic Become a fan of the Mediterranean weight loss products, as many have acid, horsetail, Fucus vesiculosus, Diet: been found ineffective. fructooligosaccharides, The diet should contain glucomannan, L-carnitine, prickly unsophisticated natural foods cooked There are some guidelines that you pear and green tea. But none of the without animal fat. The success of the can follow to lose those kilos, and studies linking weight loss or Mediterranean diet is no coincidence: better still, never regain them. It is decreased body fat intake, with these beans, rice, pasta, vegetables, fruit, important to remember that the basis 14 foods or food supplements, are olive oil, lots of fish and very little for any scheme plan is a balanced convincing or conclusive. meat. diet that avoids nutrient deficiency and excess calories. Arancha Coromina Diet or lifestyle changes. Dietician-Nutritionist Some of the keys to losing weight Foods such as vegetables, fruits and aranchacoromina@gmail.com properly and not regaining the initial cereals contain important nutrients weight is not "diet." The best way to and are low in calories. For this
Advice, Training and Food Education (asesoramiento, formacion y educacion alimentaria) Nutritional treatment for overweight, hypertension, diabetes, cholesterol etc.
DIETÉTICA ROQUETES, C / MAYOR , 36 43520 ROQUETES Call 645 565 571 to make an appointment (Consultations in English or Spanish)
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 27
PASSATEMPS Cryptic Crossword
Across Down 1. Sounds like precipitation and expensive animal (8) 1. Flowers produce various sores (5) 5. Three involved in street riot (4) 2. Suggested gremlin fibbed (7) 9. Young tree is a confusing alp sign (7) 3. Golf shot with ambition? (5) 10. A relatively high volume permitted (5) 4. Sleigh that contains fractionally less 11. Observes what they grab, by the sound of it (5) than one (6) 12. Found contract ordered farm vehicle (7) 6. Kangaroo stampede reveals bird shelter (5) 13. Play around with an instrument (6) 7. Gave instructions for systematic arrangement (7) 15. Made mandatory request essential (6) 8. May a primate be served as a starter? (6) 18. Run around, swindle for each one (7) 13. Five set for riotous fun on this occasion (7) 20. Arch seen to occur vertically (5) 14. Crumpled jacket required for a spell (6) 22. Found seaside always perfect (5) 16. A trip or land there for a change (7) 23. Forcibly displaces our spot (7) 17. A regular route, roughly (6) 24. Style inherent in jewel antique (4) 19. Aware nation hosts sporting venue (5) 25. Owned up to being allowed in (8) 20. Dog included in decor gimmick (5) 21. Found nausea sedative provided relief (5) LAST MONTH’S CRYPTIC CROSSWORD ANSWERS Across: 1 ORACLE 4 RADAR 9 TWOSTEP 10 CHORE 11 GENT 12 PRESENTS 14 NAPKIN 16 WOODEN 19 BAGPIPES 20 STET 23 ABASH 24 SOPRANO 25 STUDY 26 REMARK Down: 1 OCTAGON 2 ACORN 3 LATE 5 ANCESTOR 6 ADORNED 7 APART 8 BEES 13 FINISHED 15 PAGEANT 17 NETWORK 18 GEESE 19 BEAR 21 TIARA 22 EPEE
Quick Crossword
Across 1. Inverse (10) 7. Curt (7) 8. Crib (3) 9. Sentinel (6) 10. Hinge joint (4) 12. Remedy (4) 13. Cask (6) 16. Mythical bird (3) 17. Fishing boat (7) 18. Duty (10)
Easy
N340
N340 ALDEA
Medium
WE ARE 2 MINUTES AWAY FROM THE N340. FOLLOW THE MAP. IF YOU EXPERIENCE DIFFICULTY - CALL US AND WE’LL MEET YOU AT THE GALP PETROL STATION.
WE ARE HERE L’AMPOLLA
GALP
GE RID Y B
LAST MONTH’S CRYPTIC CROSSWORD ANSWERS Across: 1 WORRY 4 ADAGE 7 FIG 8 REACTED 9 ROOK 10 AUTHOR 13 WISDOM 14 OMIT 17 GARNISH 19 TEA 20 SEWED 21 FARCE Down: 1 WAFER 2 REGIONS 3 YARN 4 ABACUS 5 ACT 6 EIDER 11 HAMSTER 12 COPIED 13 WAGES 15 TRACE 16 CHEF 18 RAW
SPECIAL OFFERS ON SELECTED ITEMS
TORTOSA
A ILW RA
Down 2. Bizarre (9) 3. Disregard (6) 4. Wealthy (4) 5. Nimble (5) 6. Arithmetical operation (4) 8. Lowest femalesinging voice (9) 11. Empty (6) 12. Freight (5) 14. Entice (4) 15. Male deer (4)
ENGLISH EASTER EGGS ARRIVING SHORTLY
Order online
www.littlebritain24-7.com CAMARLES DELTE’BRE
Hard
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 28
BUSINESS DIRECTORY ALARMS FINCA ALERT SYSTEMS 647 771 573 www.fasystems.es info@fasystems.es Wireless driveway alarm systems
ARCHITECTS TAE ARCHITECTS 659 736 403 Miami Platja www.taeconsultants.com Valuations, Reports, Certificates
BARS BAR CAL MANEL 653 557 524 C/ Joan Baptista Plana, Tarragona English Owned Bar/Cafe MOLI'S BAR MINI-GOLF 977 570 819 Urb. Moli de L'om, El Castel molisbar@hotmail.com Open daily: 4.00pm W'ends: 2.00pm
CAR RENTAL HAPPY RENT COSTA DORADA S.L. 977 170 466 FAX: 977 172 507 www.happyrentspain.es Rent a Car
CONSTRUCTION MAYOR 977 440 440 Tortosa www.mayor.cat For all your construction requirements PAVIMENTOS TORTOSA 664 770 541 / 977 501 929 For all your building materials CONCRETE PAVING SLABS, 692 759 276 / 692 751 488 email: jerrysrefinishers@fsmail.net All sizes & designs from square ribbon to circles, cappings etc. Competitive prices
DENTISTS CLINICA DENTAL DEL MAR PENISCOLA 964 481 588 English speaking Dental Surgery
DIETICIANS DIETÉTICA ROQUETES 645 565 571 Advice Training and Food Education in English
ELECTRICIANS MICHAEL HOGG 620 552 666 Call outs, repairs, new build / reforms complete wiring, independent power systems, installations, sales, system checks
ESTATE AGENTS CATALONIAN PROPERTIES 606 813 219 / 615 316 722 www.catalonianproperties.com New and Resale Properties MY SPANISHOME 639 041 277 / 977 446 655 www.myspanishome.comAv. Generalitat, 70 - Tortosa RIERES ESTATE AGENTS 977 445 497 Tortosa www.realitypropertyspain.com Large Portfolio of Property CATALAN CONNEXION S.L. LICENSED PROPERTY AGENTS TEL: 977 404 796 MOB 616 678 607 C/ AMPLE 28, GINESTAR www.spain-connexion.com Ebro valley area and Costa Dorada
FISHING EBRO TOP CATFISHING HOLIDAYS 977 581 183 / 666 907 974 Tortosa www.ebrotopcatfishing.com Catfishing trips on the River Ebro with experienced guide
FOOD LITTLE BRITAIN 24-7 696 894 134 www.littlebritain24-7.com Suppliers of English Foods, Sauces, Drinks & Cleaning Products See our main advert on Page 28 EURO DELICATESSEN 977 232 243 Tarragona www.eurodelicatessen.net Discover a selection of British & Catalan Deli Products
INSURANCE CATALUNYA INSURANCE SERVICES 977 493 607 / 689 276 853 www.catalunyainsuranceservices.com Motor, Home, Travel, Marine, Pet, Health, Life, Funeral, Commercial, Mortgages
INTERNET EURONA 620 353 138 Various Internet & Telecom packages with English Technical Support
KENNELS LYNDALE KENNELS 660 879 852 Xerta Vet Approved -2 walks per day - from €8 per night SANT SALVADOR KENNELS AND CATTERY 977 055 027 / 678 970 622 Gandesa santsalvadorkennels @gmail.com Excellent care for all your pets. Established since 2004
LAND MAINTENANCE LES DIGGER 629 010 529 lesvalblf@gmail.com Foundations, groundworks, landscaping, tree pruning, site works.
LAWYERS
TASTY FRANCS PRODUCTS 696 088 935 / 977 059 261 tastyfrancs@defranceschi.co.uk Suppliers of homemade pork pies, sausage rolls, & variety of English pork sausages
DAVID PIQUE 977 172 939 Miami Platja davidpique@advocatsreus.org English Speaking Lawyers
MASTERMAC FOODS 679 830 082 mastermacff@gmail.com Suppliers of English meats & other fresh produce
MASSAGE THE MOBILE MASSEUR TEL: 675 071 794 Drug free procedure suitable for men, women and children.
METAL WORKS STEVE SNAITH 659 225 068 El Perello max.snaith@yahoo.com Gates, Railings, Staircases No job too small
OPTICIANS OPTICA INNOVA 977 588 884 Daniel Mangrane, 21-23, Jesus English Speaking Optician See our display advert on Page 3
PLUMBERS NIGEL MORTON 620 353 138 Tortosa and surrounding Areas Also electrics, heating, internet, Sat TV
RESTAURANTS FATA MORGANA 977 460 707 Pl. Club Nautic, L’Ampolla Restaurante Pizzeria Take Away available CASA MONTERO (Club Nautic) 977 593 336 Av. Ramon Pou, L’Ampolla Enjoy good food with lovely views
SALVAGE CARS & MACHINERY 689 468 752 Cash available for cars, machinery, tractors & generators Working or Non-working
SOLAR POWER PRISM SOLAR TEL: 977 053 057 MOB: 625 762 609 / 671 142 496 www.prismsolar.eu Over 140 products available See our main advert on Page 5 PUMIWEX 693 206 868 Renewable Energy Systems
HAIRDRESSERS THE RICHMOND STUDIO 977 731 490 Placa Cami Ample, 7 Alcanar Precision L’Oreal Colour & Stylist
HEALTH & BEAUTY ORIFLAME NATURAL SWEDISH COSMETICS 616 887 298 anne.hogg@ymail.com Home based product distributors required full/part-time
HONEY MEL MURIA 977 49 00 34 El Perello www.melmuria.com Workshops and Guided Tours
MECHANICS DRIVER 977 480 788 Deltebre English Speaking Mechanics RICHIE’S REPAIRS 608 872 854 English Auto Mechanic Over 30 Years Experience TALLER GANDIA 977 470 060 C 30, 13/15 Camarles Garden Tools Sales & Repairs MECANICA MIGUEL 977 501 956 / 647 097 067 C/Alcade Marin 31,Roquetes English Speaking Mechanic
SPANISH LESSONS BILL’S ENGLISH SCHOOL 977 221 200 / 649 895 118 / 653 394 582 Tarragona Established 15 years COURSES IN SPANISH 977 477 143 / 634 478 892 Group, Private adult courses. All levels catered for.
SPRAYERS JERRY’S REFINISHERS 692 759 276 / 692 751 488 email: jerrysrefinishers@fsmail.net All aspects of car & motorcycle repair & repainting. Any design undertaken. 20 Years experience.
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 29
BUSINESS DIRECTORY CONT... TELEVISION BRITSAT 616 369 913 / 977 486 387 www.britsat.tv Specialist Suppliers & Installers of Sky Systems
TRANSLATORS
TRANSLATORS S.O.S (SPEAKERS OF SPANISH) 679 219 715 speakersofspanish@yahoo.co.uk All Translation Services Spanish & English Lessons HELP IN SPAIN 622 523 894 helpinspain.anja@gmail.com All Translation Services Spanish, English & German lessons
JOSH RUSSELL 616 637 030 joshrussell123@msn.com Documents translated Catalan, Spanish, English explained by Joshua as cheaply as possible.
VETS AGATAMEUS 977 481 525 Deltebre www.agatameus.com English, Spanish, French, Italian, German spoken fluently MARCEL CLINICA VETERINARIA 977 823 405 C/Terra Alta, 5, L'Hospitalet de L'Infant www.marcelclinicaveterinaria.com
CLASSIFIEDS 4 PAWS 4 EYES 4 UR SECURITY House-sitting with or without my guard dog Pet Care at their home or ours / Dog walking
Contact: Dot 600 564 097 (Benicarlo) email: dandbplus3@hotmail.com
GET YOUR PHONE RINGING!!! ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS OR SERVICE IN OUR BUSINESS DIRECTORY FOR LESS THAN €5* PER MONTH
646 353 442
SKY BOX 50€ SKY PLUS BOX 100€ New, Still in box
35€ TEL 638 263 011
for further details. * Price based on 6 month continuous advert for only €25 (IVA included) NEED A HELPING HAND AROUND THE HOUSE OR CAN’T GET TO THE SHOPS? 5 years experience in respite care. Benicarlo / Vinaros areas Contact DOT 600 564 097 email: dandbplus3@hotmail.com
NOT COPING? CONFUSED? UPSET? GOING MAD? NEED COUNSELLING?
TO ADVERTISE YOUR ITEMS PLEASE EMAIL editor@chroniccat.com OR PHONE
4M X 4M PATIO PARASOLS Beige,10 ft high Made strong & suitable for hotels & bars Very strong frame
RING CHRIS ON 977 457 687 MOB 672032419
FOR SALE
FOR SALE
2 BEDSIDE LOCKERS, 3 Drawer, Pine, Almost new 40.00€
3.45 Mtr MISTRAL WINDSURFER
FOR SALE
Very Good Condition.
2 DARK WOOD & LEATHER CHAIRS – 1 rocker, 1 not! 20.00€ each OVAL, PEDESTAL, DINING TABLE & 4 CHAIRS Dark wood
BENICARLO
CAMBRILS
CASTELLON
D’ELTEBRE
FLIX
GANDESA
L’AMETLLA DE MAR MORA
MIAMI PLATJA
REUS
PENISCOLA / VINAROS SALOU
SAN CARLOS
TARRAGONA
TORTOSA
ULLDECONA
Tel: 689 301 105
TEL: TOM 678 250 500 (PENISCOLA)
UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY!
WANTED
PLEASE EMAIL
SOLAR PANELS 12V (17V) I give 1€ per watt. Also batteries 12 volt min. 600 Amp/12V same mark.
editor@chroniccat.com FOR FURTHER DETAILS
LADDER 2 PARTS minimum 5 meter
FOR FURTHER DETAILS
Mobile 644 24 3415 / vpeetz@gmail.com (Camarles)
NVQ 3 QUALIFIED CARE WORKER
FOR SALE
Available for home help and respite care. Also 24/7 house/pet sitting.
CORK FLOOR TILES 33.6m2 / 400 tiles 290 x 290 x 3 280€ vpeetz@gmail.com
EMAIL editor@chroniccat.com
644 243 415
646 353 442
Jennifer Anne Figuerola BA, Honours Psychology, Dip. Counselling
QUALITY FURNITURE, TEXTILES, FURNISHINGS & CLOTHING PLEASE CALL VAL 626 876 738
WANTED
AMPOSTA
450 EUROS
TO ADVERTISE PRIVATE SALE ITEMS ABOVE THE VALUE OF This inverter has been 1000€ THERE IS running my 2 bedroom house A MINIMUM CHARGE for the last 3 years and is in OF 5€ PLUS EACH perfect working order. WORD CHARGED AT 15 CENTS. 750€ IVA INCLUDED
FOR SALE
Sail undamaged with carry case. Buyer collects, (Will need roof rack) Suit experienced user Cost over £2000.00
ALCOSSEBRE
100.00€
STUDER INVERTER CHARGE 2600 PURE SINEWAVE
TEL: 977 059 158 or Mob: 608 667 519
SALES PROFESSIONALS CONFIDENT IN CONVERSING IN CATALAN / SPANISH & ENGLISH REQUIRED IN THE FOLLOWING AREAS
€275.00
646 353 442 MAXIMUM 3 ITEMS
Person-centred, Bereavement, Family Therapy, Drink, Relationship, Sexual problems... I am here to help Individual, personal, confidential hourly sessions. 20€ Initial Consultation 10€
MIRAVET TEL: 977 407 540 / 654 875 163
FOR SALE
FOR SALE
4 WAY LNB
Email: editor@chroniccat.com or call
IT COSTS NOTHING TO ADVERTISE YOUR UNWANTED ITEMS UNDER THE VALUE OF 1000€ WITHIN THIS SECTION.
OR PHONE PLEASE NOTE: THE CATALUNYA CHRONICLE RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REFUSE CERTAIN ADVERTISEMENTS
APRILIA BIKE 50cc 350€ RACING RX 50cc 100€ TYPHOON SCOOTER 50cc 450€ Tel 660 697 135
El Perello / L’Ampolla / Tortosa & Amposta areas
CONTACT HAZEL 638 430 338 hazeearnest@hotmail.com
(L’AMETLLA)
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 30
INFORMATION Que? Monthly look at some differences between Catalan and
Distribution Points.
Spanish words
A full list and map of all our collection locations is available on our web-site, and if you do not find one near enough to you, then please let us know.
ENGLISH
SPANISH
CATALAN
Do you speak English?
¿Habla usted Inglés ?
Tu parles anglès ?
Is there anyone here who speaks...?
¿Hay alguien aquí que hable...?
¿hi ha algú aquí que parla... ?
I don't speak much ...
No hablo mucho Español
Jo no parlo Català gaire
Could you speak more slowly?
¿Podría usted hablar más despacio?
Podria parlar més a poc a poc?
Could you repeat that?
¿Podría repetir eso
Podria repetir això?
Please write it down
Por favor, escríbalo
Si us plau, escriu-lo
Can you translate this for me?
¿Puede usted traducirmelo?
¿pot traduir això per a mi?
I understand
Comprendo / Entiendo
Entenc
Do you understand?
¿Comprende usted?
¿Entén vostè?
Whether you have your artwork or not, included in the price we offer a design service and we will endeavour to match your requirements. The cost of advertising is €0.80 per square centimetre, and there is a 10% discount for a six month run. This price includes IVA .
Let people know you are in business - can you afford not to? WEEKLY MARKETS
Ampolla Alcossebre, Benicarlo Amposta Cambrills Camarles Hospitalet Tarragona Mora la Nova L'Aldea
THURS
Amettla de Mar La Cava Deltebre
FRI
SAT
Ulldecona Sant Carles Mora d' Ebre Miami Playa
Miami Platja Gandesa Bitem Vinaros Benicarlo Freginals ... with more to come
SUN
Camarles Tarragona Hospitalet Bonavista
(Please note this a mailbox address only)
Website: www.chroniccat.com email: editor@chroniccat.com Telephone: 646 353 442 (Tim) Deposito Legal: T-1528-2009 Circulation: 5,000 copies per month Printed by: Lerigraf SL No part of this document may be reproduced without written consent from the paper. The Catalunya Chronicle cannot be held responsible for the contents of the articles supplied by it’s contributors, nor for the claims made by it’s advertisers. Trademarks and Copyright are held by their respective owners. We would like to thank all our contributors, article writers and advertisers for all their fabulous support.
Copyright © The Catalunya Chronicle 2010 All Rights Reserved. FALLING TEMPERATURE, TWO UNDER PAR, FAT CHANCE, BROKEN HEART, HOT UNDER THE COLLAR, HEAD IN THE SAND
THE FIFTH EMERGENCY SERVICE FOR WHEN YOU’RE DROWNING IN A SEA OF RED TAPE! ENGLISH / FRENCH / SPANISH TRANSLATION SERVICE ENGLISH / SPANISH LESSONS AVAILABLE FOR ALL ABILITIES PLEASE CONTACT US ON
679 219 715 email: speakersofspanish@yahoo.co.uk
WUZZLES ANSWERS FROM PAGE 22
Amettla de Mar, Peniscola, Reus, Salou Tortosa
WED
Hospitalet Reus Airport Alcossebre Ulldecona Flix Xerta Riba-Roja Mora D’Ebre Peniscola Benifallet
C / Martirs 6, 43500, Tortosa, Tarragona, Spain.
Personal Classified Ads are FREE up to a maximum of 35 words, and subject to a maximum sales value of €1000. No more than three items at a time please.
TUES
L’Ampolla L’Amettla Camarles Amposta Tortosa Miravet Tres Calas El Perello Cambrils Salou
The Catalunya Chronicle
Advertising Rates To advertise in the next edition of the Catalunya Chronicle we would need your copy before the 10th of the month.
MON
Currently we have managed to place the paper in the following towns and villages.
WHEN THE MASSAGE COMES TO YOU.......... Yes, it CAN be true, it IS true Contact THE MOBILE MASSEUR NOW! BACKACHE
TENNIS ELBOW
VARICOSE VEINS
FROZEN SHOULDER
FEEL THE RELIEF MULTI-LEVEL THAI MASSAGE A drug-free procedure, suitable for men, women and children Initial consultation 20€ Subsequent treatments 30€
PLEASE CALL: 675 071 794
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 31
THE FINAL WORD Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........ The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £ 5,000.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband, who was also quickly arrested.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single £1 Coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the £1 as down payment for the dirty deed.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco Super Store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to
ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 AT TESCO!
ESTATE AGENTS
We go that extra mile to ensure your move runs smooth! M1130 - Tres Cales
M1085 - Jesus Riverside, 3 Bedroom bed & breakfast plus 3 bed self catering cottage for sale! Direct River mooring - furnished 3000m2 parcela
180m2 Villa in 880m2 plot with separate 1 bed apartment - ideal for guests. Garage/ utility room. Large filtrated swimming pool. Garden Shed. Pretty gardens with gazebo & pretty seating areas. 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, Califaccion (Central Heating) Garage
*** PROPERTY OF THE MONTH ***
PRICE: 239.000€
PRICE: 275,000€ M1014 - Bitem
M1062 - L’Ampolla
Village House 110m2 Reformed, 3 Bed, en-suite, sh. rm, full bathroom + sep w.c. Roof terrace. kitchen with outside sm.covered area. Lounge, fully furnished.
138m2 Country House, 3 beds, 2 baths, Sea Views! 5,600m2 parcela with Cedula de Habitabilitat
M1212 - 20 Mins Tortosa
PRICE: 146,000€
FOR RENT - 400€ pcm
M1095 - El Perello
80m2 Country House Mountain location Main house with 2 beds, shower room. 5800m2 plot size. Water. Automatic system & wind generator. Separate 1 bed & shower room guest accommodation
PRICE: 135,000€ M0109 - L’Ampolla An amazing opportunity to purchase a commercial property in the heart of L’Ampolla with 2 bedroom living accommodation above. REDUCED FROM 195,000€
NOW: 165,000€
With “Cedula de Habitabilitat” Lovely Country House of 120m2 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Auto system installed, Water, Courtyard & Workshops 14,200m2 of land
PRICE: 149,000€
M1196 - Tivenys Restored Farmhouse with Fantastic Mountain Views. Swimming Pool 3 Beds, 3 Baths. 170m2 built, 2235m2 plot size, Pool. 2 mins to village REDUCED FROM 245,000€
PRICE NOW: 229,000€ M1199 - Tortosa Restored farmhouse with fantastic Delta views! 3 beds, 3 baths -90m2 parcela 27000m2
PRICE: 130,000€
M0060 - Jesus / Tortosa
M0053 - Tortosa
Lovely chalet. Kitchen, Lounge, 2 beds, 2 baths. Water & Solar System. Gated entrance. 10 mins drive to town. 3000m2 parcela
Superb country property 2 beds, shower room, fantastic automatic power system! Fenced & gated!
PRICE: 150.000€
PRICE: 120,000€
The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 15 - www.chroniccat.com - Page 32