City Weekly August 27, 2020

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CITYWEEKLY.NET AUGUST 27, 2020 | VOL. 37 N0. 14

Spencer Cox may seem a shoo-in for Utah governor, but opponent Chris Peterson hopes you’ll make him earn your vote. By Benjamin Wood


CONTENTS COVER STORY

CAKE WALK Lt. Gov. Spencer Cox may seem a shoo-in for Utah governor, but opponent Chris Peterson hopes you’ll make him earn your vote. By Benjamin Wood

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Cover illustration by Derek Carlisle

5 PRIVATE EYE 8 A&E 18 DINE 22 MUSIC 28 CINEMA 29 COMMUNITY

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SOAP

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@SLCWEEKLY

The “Long, Dusty Trail” cover story, Aug. 13

Thank you for the great local insight! @REDHEAD_MARKETING_PR via Instagram

Private Eye, “Utah’s First Rodeo,” Aug. 13 There’s a truth bomb right there. @MOLLIGUTHRIE via Instagram Look at the gerrymandered district map. It tells you all you need to know. @SALATHAIKITCHEN677 via Instagram

Private Eye, “Drop the Charges,” Aug. 20

Punishment doesn’t fit the crime! A life sentence, really? Rapists get less than that. @AHUNT7776 via Instagram

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@SLCWEEKLY

Anyone else wonder what kind of government excess goes into repairing windows costing $200,000? Sounds like irresponsible spending or a convenient lie to feed an unquestioning media and general population. @_R_W_M via Instagram Actions have consequences, or should have consequences. It is absolutely obvious that the charges were levied to make an example, to try and instill fear in the public, to think twice about this recurring in the future. But dropping the charges entirely would have the opposite effect; it just excuses questionable behavior. Hence the point of protesting the police use of force. There should be fitting charges, because actions should have consequences. @80OMAN via Instagram John Saltas has shown his racial bias here. All protestors should

have their charges dropped. Do better and consider updating your statement, Mr. Saltas. If you’re calling for charges to be dropped for only the white woman in the bunch, that’s problematic. The protestors of color deserve the same. @TAAATERSALAD via Instagram

Hari-kari on the High Plains

Your government’s got a scheme for scraping pinyon and juniper (PJ) off the face of the earth. I call it “Hari-kari on the High Plains.” The Bureau of Land Management, in blind obedience to POTUS and the DOI, is on a bender to pulverize vast swaths of Utah’s high-desert. BLM calls PJ invasive. PJ deserves so much more than BLM’s mission to clear-cut, chain out, chew up and spit out living organisms whose origins go back millions of

years. Its rationale for crucifying PJ is that it creates enhanced habitat for sage grouse, mule deer and reduces forest fire potential. Well, guess what? Chicken Little of the sagegrass gets the pointy end of the stick when those bull-hog masticators come calling. Fact is, BLM kicks butt for cows. It also bends over backwards for its fossil-fuel overlords even though it just backed off plans to lease vast swaths of Utah’s red-rock country near three national parks. Read Christopher Ketchum’s This Land—How Cowboys, Capitalism and Corruption are Ruining the American West. It’s given me religion. Turned me into a devout preservation pessimist. That book’ll drive a few folks into a flat-out foaming frenzy. KEN KRAUS Salt Lake City

THE BOX

What was the first concert you went to, and what do you remember about it? Kelly Boyce Boyz II Men with my stepmom and sisters. Vividly remember the waterfall they walked through during “Water Runs Dry.” Chelsea Neider Kenny Loggins. I was really little and used to think he was Jesus. Scott Renshaw KISS in 1983, and I remember learning for the first time A. what weed smells like, and B. what tinnitus feels like. Tom Metos Not the first concert, but memorable: Willie Nelson at the old Salt Palace. A cloud of pot smoke that went into the upper bowl. “Hmm … I smell rope burning.” Joel Smith Steve Miller Band 1982 at Compton Terrace, Phoenix. I had no idea what acid and magic mushrooms were. There was plenty on sale ... amazing first show. Jerre Wroble The Association at the Casper College gym in the late ‘60s. After they played “Windy” and “Never My Love,” I was in teeny-bopper heaven. Bryan Bale I’m not sure if this counts as a concert, but the first national touring act I went to see was Eddie Murphy when he was in Las Vegas for his “Pieces of My Mind” tour in 1986. Kathy Mueller Shaun Cassidy. I was mesmerized watching his silhouette dance behind a screen. Then he burst through, in a white satin outfit, bringing my Tiger Beat magazine crush to life. My pre-teen self was destined to love live music from that day forward. Thank you for that, Shaun. Paula Saltas Elton John. I was around 13 years old. I loved his flashy suits and signature crazy glasses.


PRIVATE EY The ODed GOP

I

@johnsaltas

nant speech by Natalie Harp, a cancer survivor who is an advisory board member for Donald Trump—whatever that is. She told America if Hillary Clinton had been elected, “we’d all be living in a dismal country with no hope of escape except death itself” and of Biden, that “we’d not only be lucky to keep our doctor, under Joe Biden, we’d be lucky if we could see any doctor.” No one told Harp, and Harp never told America, that the life-saving bone cancer treatments she received started in 2015, before Trump was elected. Oh, well. But the evening highlight for me was when I saw America’s First Couple trending on Twitter, Kimberly Guilfoyle and her sidekick, Donald Trump Jr. I’ve known some very crazy people in my life—thus, I’m thankful I will never know these two grifters. There’s no way I’d be caught in the same zoo with them, let alone the same room. The last I heard of Guilfoyle, she was yukking it up with her fellow cranks on The Five, a daytime “news” show on Fox, basically a very dumbed down version of The McLaughlin Group. Last night found her screaming into the microphone in such animation that the elephants of the Lion King were said to bow in homage. I don’t have a personal decibel meter, so I couldn’t accurately measure what she said. However, on the equally reliable “I’ll have what she’s having” meter, I’d say she was bellowing at the edge-of-the-world measure of 1,000 Meg Ryans. People have been known to suffer irreparable harm at just 43 Meg Ryans, so, thoughts and prayers to you, Kimberly. Very, very impressive, but thoughts and prayers. I was so rapt by her screams—and trying to talk my mind out of what caused them—that I don’t recall a single word that Guilfoyle uttered. Let that be a lesson to all the young influencers out there—don’t let the mechanism overcome your message. And you know what I’m talking about—not

every pair of skinny jeans are “life-changing.” Sometimes you need to tone it down. I was a bartender for quite some time. Back in the early 1970s, it was common for a person to tone it down by snorting up some cocaine, sometimes right off the bar. I never understood cocaine—some people said they used it to get a buzz and others to take the edge off. Hmmm, seem like opposites. Anyway, the big trending Twitter question today regards Donald Trump Jr., and why he looked so creepy and sweaty last night. People who have more first-hand knowledge than I swear he was the walking definition of the word “buzzed” last night—that if cocaine had a face, it would be his. Isn’t that something? Donald Trump Jr. accused by Twitter users of being a cokehead? One so bold as to stand before America and basically say to us all, “I can get away with this, and you can’t. Eat me.” There are claims all over Twitter and other social media about him and his entire family (save Tiffany and Barron) as being addicted to or using drugs ranging from Adderall to heroin. When I was a bartender, both users and dealers needed front guys. If that’s true about the Trumps, then the entire Republican Party is the front guy. Mike Lee would be considered a trusted kingpin in that world—he runs interference for the bad guys. Chris Stewart is the doorman setting off the buzzer if the cops walk in and screens buying customers with opened palm. The Spencer Coxes of the world—and the Nikki Haleys—are hangers-on and the groupies, all just playing along with the band, not caring a whit that the money they transact derives of dirty deeds. The Utah GOP is just one more druggie—a spineless, hypocritical enabler. The “family vaues” party is no more. It ODed last night. CW Send comments to john@cityweekly.net

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tried really, really hard to watch the first night of the Republican National Convention. Well, OK, I lie. I didn’t try that hard. Instead, right after the terrible first 30 minutes or so, I took to watching Family Feud while occasionally checking on Twitter to see what was trending, then I’d check out whatever it was that was causing the Twittersphere to go nuts. So, although I didn’t see former ambassador to the United Nations, Nikki Haley, proclaim that “America is not a racist nation” and “has never passed a law based on race,” I was able see that she was trending and could catch snippets of her speech. She fudged a bit. For example, when she said, “America is not a racist nation,” she also acknowledged that she had been discriminated against. Maybe her discrimination resulted from her having perfectly white teeth and not for being the off-white colored daughter of a man who wore a turban, who knows? Twitter blasted her, none better than Patrick S. Tomlinson @stealthygeek, a contributor to the Science Channel, who gave the simplest of all retorts to Nikki’s claim that, “America has never passed a law based on race.” Tweeted Tomlinson: “I think that’s wrong, but I’m only 3/5ths sure.” That broadside not only defeated Haley’s claim but also reminded everyone who actually studied in school that when the Constitution itself was drafted, blacks were considered just 3/5th the worth of a white person for purposes of determining congressional representation. Alas, that reminds us that too many Americans don’t consider the devaluation of a human being as racist, and also that a great many Americans didn’t go to school at all. Exhibit A for lack of American education was the repug-

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HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Silent Sim

Sim Gill arguably has been one of the best district attorneys Salt Lake County has seen. Now, he is facing the wrath of a hyper-politicized era in which racial justice is absolute. It started in July when the Justice for Bernardo protests turned angry and destructive. Red paint was splattered on the District Attorney’s Office and broke windows. Gill had decided against charging police who killed 22-year-old Bernardo Palacios-Carbajal, and following the protests, filed felony charges against key protesters that could have meant life in prison. Gill ultimately turned the cases over to a retired judge, who reduced the charges. But according to KUTV News, Gill, the normally eloquent son of immigrants himself, has only said he rarely sees excessive prison time for property crimes. Now, there are calls for his resignation. While the anger is understandable, the focus should be on police reform and laws considered by the Legislature.

League Love for the ERA

Despite the Black Lives Matter movement, we still don’t know a lot about African American history. With the upcoming election, you may be learning more—specifically that Utah officially legalized slavery in 1852, making it a punishment for crime, and it still remains in law. The Mormon pioneers introduced African slavery and created a market for Indian slavery, too. It wasn’t until the 2019 that the Legislature decided to place a constitutional amendment question on the 2020 ballot asking if we should remove slavery as a punishment for crime. Action Utah is sponsoring Removing Slavery From the Utah Constitution, an online panel discussion with Rep. Sandra Hollins, D-Salt Lake, and Robert Burch, president of the Utah Chapter of the Afro-American Historical and Genealogical Society. Virtual/RSVP, Sept. 3, 3 p.m., free. https://bit.ly/3ghEWA8

He Had a Dream

March from the Utah Capitol to Washington Square in commemoration of Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Had a Dream” speech. It is the 57th anniversary of the Walk on Washington where King was marching for the civil and economic rights of African Americans in what was called a march for jobs and freedom. The famous march resulted in the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Americans from all walks of life are still fighting to maintain those rights, and you can participate in the Official March on Washington—Salt Lake, Utah. There will music and food at the daylong event. The NA ACP is also hosting a Virtual March on Washington here (https://bit.ly/3aIkbwu). Washington Square Park, 451 S. State, Friday, Aug. 28, 8:30 a.m.-3 p.m., free. https://bit.ly/2CLYK0P

Health-care Disparities

Upcoming Election Dates

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

AUGUST 27, 2020 | 7

Get informed and watch the debates: Sept. 24, 6 p.m.: 1st Congressional District debate Sept. 28, 6 p.m.: Utah gubernatorial debate Oct. 7, 6 p.m.: Vice presidential debate at the University of Utah Oct. 12, 6 p.m.: 4th Congressional District debate Oct. 15, 6 p.m.: 3rd Congressional District debate Oct. 19, 6 p.m.: 2nd Congressional District debate Oct. 21, 6 p.m.: Utah Attorney General debate Nov. 3: 2020 Election

| CITY WEEKLY |

Just because Bernie Sanders isn’t running for president doesn’t mean health-care reform is lost. There is much to be done to fix America’s broken health-care model. Join former Rep. Rebecca Chavez-Houck and members of the medical and advocacy community to discuss Health-care Disparities, and the impact on communities based on their socioeconomic status, race, geography, and gender identity. “While the United States has been a nexus for countless innovative medical advancements and health-care therapies, it is also hindered by profound inequities,” organizers at the Hinckley Institute of Politics say. This panel will examine the impact that health-care disparities have on society and how to combat them. Virtual, Wednesday, Sept. 2, 12-1 p.m., free. Register/https:// bit.ly/31eZOnt

Well, isn’t this exciting? Utah gets to host the 2020 vice presidential debate at the University of Utah. And because of the pandemic, the smaller venue at Kingsbury Hall will probably shave off $1 million from the $6 million price tag. This is one hefty cost even though the Legislature anted up $2.5 million and had promised another $1.5 million until the special session. Now, that’s iffy. The U is also reeling from a ransomware attack that extorted nearly half a million dollars from them, according to The Salt Lake Tribune. Ouch. Yeah, everybody’s hurting, but if this debate is important beyond the hype, then surely there’s something that can give in a $20 billion budget.

Slavery’s a Thing in Utah

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The U’s Costly Debate

IN A WEEK, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

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Nah, the country doesn’t need an Equal Rights Amendment. Women should just know their place and stay there. Women hold not quite 40 percent of leadership positions in state government, according to a report from the Utah Women and Leadership Project in The Salt Lake Tribune. But wait. Those jobs as “feminine,” like teaching kids and working in social services. Now, because of the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment, there is heightened interest in “women’s work,” and their place in society. While Better Days 2020 likes to note that Utah women had lots of rights pre-statehood, more organizations such as the League of Women Voters are highlighting how women of color were largely left out of the fight for voting rights. The Utah League is still pushing for the ERA, which in 1975 went down in defeat, largely because of the influence of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A video on the League’s website (lwvutah.org) wants to see that change.

CITIZEN REV LT


Many local museums and art galleries have opened, slowly and gradually, over recent weeks, The Utah Museum of Fine Arts at the University of Utah has taken longer than others—which, according to executive director Gretchen Dietrich, is all about the museum’s connection to the University community. “As this sort of dragged on, we realized that opening in line with the University’s fall semester made sense,” Dietrich says. “We are first and foremost a university art museum, and because the U was working so hard, and has experts in the pandemic and health fields, we figured that working closely with them was the right decision. … It’s felt really weird and awful and unhappy for me and our staff not to do what we do, but we’re also dedicated to keeping our staff and our visitors safe. So it felt okay to wait until we had other information.” UMFA reopens this week on a limited Wednesday-Friday schedule, featuring many of the same exhibitions that were installed at the time of the pandemic closures in March, including Utah Women Working for Better Days and Beyond the Divide: Merchant,

If you’re like most people who’ve been playing it safe during this pandemic, you might have watched a lot of movies over the past five months, but you haven’t gone to the movies. With indoor theaters still a high-risk spot, drive-in movies have seen a resurgence in popularity, both in the few remaining permanent locations like West Valley’s Redwood Drive-In, and at various pop-up locations that allow for a communal viewing experience in a family-safe way. Utah Film Center contributes to the availability of such options with several pop-up drive-in screenings through mid-October, at locations in Alta, Midvale (The Belgian Waffle & Omelet Inn parking lot, 7331 S. 900 East) and downtown SLC (Land Cruiser Museum parking lot, 470 W. 600 South), all beginning at approximately 8:30 p.m. This week, the downtown SLC location features the classic Talking Heads concert documentary Stop Making Sense (pictured) on Thursday, Aug. 27 and the 2014 Irish animated fantasy Song of the Sea on Saturday, Aug. 29. The Midvale location showcases several features from the

UMFA PERMANENT COLLECTION

Utah Film Center pop-up drive-in movies

Artist, Samurai in Edo Japan (pictured). Dietrich notes that juggling the pieces of the planned exhibition schedule has been one of the most logistically challenging components of dealing with the pandemic. “With all of our colleagues locally, regionally and across the country, everybody has approached this work with an incredible desire to be accommodating,” Dietrich says. “We’re in this together. If we can’t get our organizations back on track financially, there are going to be lasting consequences on the community and the staff.” (Scott Renshaw)

When you have a visible disability, and you’re trying to make it in the field of entertainment, you kind of have to acknowledge it head-on. That’s why comedian Ryan Niemiller chose to make it the first thing he mentioned during his audition for America’s Got Talent in 2019, where he ultimately landed in third place. “So obviously I have a disability,” Niemiller shared with the judges. “I think the technical term for it is ‘being very handsome.’” In addition to those dashing good looks, Niemiller also has a disability of both arms, which he has often folded into his act, even touting himself on his website as “The Cripple Threat of Comedy.” “I have had other jobs in the past,” Niemiller says. “I used to juggle chainsaws. It went well for a while, but I couldn’t take the politics. … Having these arms is the one thing I have in common with a woman with huge boobs: People struggling to make eye contact.”

Mountainfilm on Tour adventure documentary series on Aug. 27, 28 and 29. “There will never be a substitute for the feeling you get when you gather, in-person, with other people, to watch a movie,” says Utah Film Center executive director Patrick Hubley. “Now more than ever, Utah Film Center believes that the communal film experience can provide much needed human connection and provide a delightful escape. We programmed our drive-in lineup to appeal to a wide variety of audiences so people from all walks of life can feel the warmth of connection again.” (SR)

Gateway mural: “Keep a Grateful Heart”

His high-profile AGT appearance has given him even more of a chance to have fun with his uniqueness, including messing with people who come up to him after recognizing him from the show. “They ask, ‘Um … are you that guy from AGT,’” Niemiller says. “I say, ‘No. What makes you think that? What specifically about me? Do you think we all look the same?’” Get a first-hand look at Niemiller’s comedic talents when he plays Wiseguys Gateway (194 S. 400 West, wiseguyscomedy. com) Aug. 28-29, 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., $20. Tickets are limited due to social distancing measures. (SR)

In a time of anxiety, it can be hard to look on the bright side. That’s one of the reasons local artist Ann Chen wanted to provide people with a chance to think about positivity with her new interactive public art installation “Keep a Grateful Heart,” now open at The Gateway. “My art has always been rooted in optimism, as it reflects who I am as an individual,” Chen says via email. “But during this pandemic, I’ve also created work that echoes my struggle to stay positive, and concerns for the future. I think it’s necessary to recognize the grief and anger, but at the end of the day, we need to have hope to move forward.” For this piece, Chen devoted a third of the mural space to an illustration of a woman walking her dog and birdwatching, inspired by some of the things the artist herself is grateful for. The remainder of the mural consists of an interactive component: rows beginning with “I’m thankful for…” and

PHOTO COLLECTIVE STUDIOS

Ryan Niemiller @ Wiseguys

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offering an opportunity for visitors to complete that sentence in ways that are meaningful to them. “This mural will reach a lot of viewers, and as a creative, I would much rather brighten someone’s day with my art than add to their anxieties,” Chen says. “I certainly don’t want to pretend the world is alright, but having sincere gratitude is always important, whether there is a pandemic or not. … I chose to depict commonplace activities, because these simple, everyday moments are what we tend to take for granted.” (SR)


A&E RON RUSSON

ART

A sampling of local visual artists in current exhibitions

A

rtists and art galleries throughout Utah are facing challenges in a time of economic uncertainty. Yet many galleries are open—either with in-person

pictured), along with scenes of the Utah landscape. While the physical gallery is not open, local drop-off is available for purchases, and individual appointments to view works in person are available; call 801-300-0546 for details. Rebecca Campbell, Modern West Fine Art: As part of the group show Right Here Right Now of all women artists commemorating the centennial of the 19th amendment, Modern West Fine Art (412 S. 700 West, modernwestfineart.com) features the work of Rebecca Campbell. The Salt Lake City native explores the subject of femininity in Utah through her work, including “Diamond Valley” (pictured), which is dedicated to her mother, who struggled with depression. Visit rebeccacampbell.net for additional artist information. CW

JUSTIN WHEATLEY

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BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

sculpture art of Lawrence Wayne Adkinson is featured at Local Colors of Utah Gallery (1054 E. 2100 South, Sugar House, localcolorsart.com) in the exhibition Caught Up in Dreams now through Sept. 15. A Kansas native and retired machine press operator now living in Salt Lake City, Adkinson uses discarded objects to create new and vibrant works (“Free Jazz” is picture), incorporating a key into every work as a personal symbol of usefulness. Visit lwacreations.com for more info. Justin Wheatley, David Ericson Fine Art: Clinton, Utah native Justin Wheatley showcases his love of nature and architecture in an online-only solo show through David Ericson Fine art (davidericson-fineart.com). Local structures are prevalent in his work (“Fairview Barn” is

Justin Wheatley

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Artist Marketplace

hours promoting limited entry and socialdistanced safety, or online—to allow folks to continue supporting those businesses and the work of their represented artists. Here are just a few current exhibitions, and how you can support those artists. Ron Russon, Gallery MAR: As part of the group show A New Way, Gallery MAR in Park City (436 Main St., Park City, gallerymar.com) presents new work by Utah native Ron Russon, who was raised in a rural area outside of Lehi. Russon’s works in oils explore his connection to the outdoors life of the West, whether that means downhill skiing or the local wildlife (“Three Bears” is pictured). Find Russon’s art through the gallery, or at russonstudio.com. Lawrence Wayne Adkinson, Local Colors of Utah Gallery: The “upcycled”

Rebecca Campbell

REBECCA CAMPBELL

Adkinson

ADKINSON

Ron Russon

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Spencer Cox may seem a shoo-in for Utah governor, but opponent Chris Peterson hopes you’ll make him earn your vote.

S

For my interview with Peterson, we sit on the porch of his historic Avenues home, which a plaque by the door tells me was built in 1892. We had never met before, and he looks the very picture of a hip Utah

AUGUST 27, 2020 | 11

Serving is a noble decent thing

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ministration—and apparently the soonto-be Cox administration—have decided to downplay the per-pupil numbers in favor of gross sums that mean little for schools but make the state look better. It’s a bad-faith argument, like scolding a hungry family of 12 because they have as much food in the fridge as the bachelor living next door. And further disappointing is Cox’s proposed solution, a continuation of the grin-and-bear-it penny pinching that is somehow expected to make three nickels out of two. “There are ways that we can save money,” Cox says, offering up some apocryphal example of an elementary school somewhere in the state being built with glass handrails. “I believe we have enough revenue. It’s just where we spend it that matters.” Would that it were so simple.

“So, you tell me who is more in tune with the state of Utah? We know that those issues are winning issues in this state, and we know that my opponent is on the wrong side of those issues.” When I ask him to describe himself in a sentence, Peterson talks about a career spent fighting for fair treatment of ordinary working families. And when I ask why he’s running for governor, he similarly holds up his resume as a former Department of Defense attorney and senior adviser with the federal Consumer Financial Protection Bureau during the second Obama administration. “I’ll put that up against anybody else that’s running for governor this year,” he says. I follow up by asking why he *wants* to run for governor, and he takes a long pause before answering. He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, and he looks, put simply, tired. He says it’s not about name recognition or influence. It’s because it seems like a small group of Republican Party insiders, lobbyists and privileged Utahns are calling the shots, he says, and it’s pulling the state’s policies further and further away from the wishes of the public. “I’m going to keep fighting,” Peterson says. “Other people can tune out or give up if they choose to do so, but I’m going to fight for them. I’m fighting for a better, more decent, more effective, more competent government.” I ask about tax reform, a still-lingering question shoved to the back burner by the omnipresent coronavirus—to whit: Do you,

It doesn’t help that when I ask both campaigns for an hour with their candidate, the Cox team offers 30 minutes, which ultimately turns out to be 20 over the phone while Cox drives between two higher profile appointments on his calendar. I don’t begrudge him that. He’s a busy man, holding elected office while running a gubernatorial campaign and heading up the state’s official coronavirus task force. But it kneecaps my ability to write this article. It is what it is. We didn’t even get to the topic of policing, or how a potential Gov. Cox will act the next time the Utah Legislature takes it upon themselves to reject a majority vote. A good portion of our 20 minutes was spent arguing whether or not Utah’s public schools are the lowest-funded in the nation. It’s a well-documented fact that they are, for the simple reason that the Beehive State’s overflowing abundance of children stretches thin whatever education dollars are available, however wellintended those dollars may be. But for reasons that escape me, the Herbert ad-

Democrat with his sleeves loosely cuffed below the elbow and his blue-on-blue shirt and tie combo slackened just so at the collar. Peterson is taking on what is, in my opinion, the single most thankless task in Utah politics. His answers are detailed and thoughtful—albeit a touch overrehearsed—and nearly as soon as we sit down, he’s stumping about the state’s pandemic response. He tells me he’s worried about returning to the University of Utah campus to teach his students this fall and particularly worried about high schools, where a combination of older children and hourly class shuffling could be prime conditions for the spread of COVID-19. “If we don’t start making serious adjustments, I’m concerned that we could be looking at a tinder box,” Peterson says. “We’re really putting a lot of kids and their parents and grandparents and our teachers and the staff at risk by not having gotten more serious about getting this virus under control sooner.” It tees up a theme that Peterson will return to frequently during our chat. Cox, he says, is a cog in a political machine that prioritizes relationships and backroom deals over teamwork and transparency. That means no-bid contracts for testing software, he says, and a disregard for the public’s wishes on Medicaid expansion, medical marijuana, gerrymandering and sales taxes. “The Legislature, in cooperation with the Governor’s Office and my opponent, rewrote and watered down every single one of those ballot measures,” Peterson says.

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pencer Cox is “tired.” That’s the one-word response he offers when asked to use a sentence to describe himself. It’s a silly question, intended to do little more than break the ice, but it’s the one I keep coming back to as I think about my recent chat with the man who will more likely than not be Utah’s governor next year. I’m tired, too, and I tell Cox and his Democratic opponent—career lawyer and University of Utah professor Chris Peterson—as much in separate interviews. Between the pandemic, protests, creeping fascism, a bottomless Netflix library and the seeming inevitability of a Cox victory in November, it’s all I can do to fight the urge to tune out until January.

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12 | AUGUST 27, 2020

UNIVERSITY OF UTAH

Fill in the blank: “Donald Trump is a ….”

dear reader, remember that you’re voting on a major constitutional amendment on income tax spending this year?—and Peterson keeps it simple. He says the Huntsman-era flat tax should be rescinded in favor of a more progressive structure, and that Utah’s sales tax incentives and exceptions should be carefully reexamined. It’s not exactly a revolutionary position—it leaves unanswered the much-hyped “structural imbalance” that Republicans are using as justification for obliterating the state’s Education Fund and blending together income and sales taxes—but it’s a defensible one. “I’m not talking about a radical restructuring,” Peterson says. “I’m talking about going back to some of the policies that we had 20 years ago that were more fair and didn’t acquire such acute budget shortfalls.” Peterson hedges the most on policing, taking pains to express his support for both protesters—but not the bad ones—as well as police officers—but not the bad ones. But he goes the necessary next step, saying the state needs to do a much better job with implicit bias training, discipline for misconduct and mental health services. “I think that communities would be well-served by making sure our police officers have the counseling and mental-health resources that would allow them to approach their jobs with bright eyes, open hearts and the professionalism to protect and serve the way that we all hope they will.” We talked frankly about the long odds against Peterson, and he said he wasn’t naive to the uphill climb. He then gave a textbook response, telling me about his great-great-grandfather John Taylor—as in the third president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—who led a wagon train across the plains before serving as the first chairman of Zions Bank and one of the state’s first public school superintendents. Aspiring to serve the public, Peterson says, is “a noble and decent thing.” He is surprised “how entitled some people feel to hold themselves out as the mandatory next leader of the state of Utah,” he said. “There have been a lot of people who have been around, contributing in the state, for a long time. It’s not such a crazy thing for us to have a Matheson- or Cal Rampton-style moderate Democrat nudging our state to a reasonable, decent Utah that represents all of us.”

There was a time when I felt enthused about the prospect of a Cox administration. He dazzled during his brief stint in the Utah House of Representatives, issuing the first call for the impeachment of then-Attorney General John Swallow and— in a less publicized moment that I remember vividly—deflating a piece of useless education software legislation by joking that his smartphone was a “magic box.” Once plucked out of relative obscurity by Gov. Herbert to serve as lieutenant, Cox took to the role with a charming zeal for nearly seven years. He leaned hard into the nerdiness of voter registration and election canvassing and received national accolades for his willingness to call a spade a spade during Trump’s lowest moments and—in the as-yet signature moment of his political career—issuing a public apology for his youthful intolerances after the Pulse nightclub shooting. Whether or not that version of Cox will reemerge after the election remains to be seen—and I hope it does—but it was certainly absent from the primary campaign, which saw Cox preoccupied with complaining about his press coverage and reluctant to wade into the deeper waters of 2020. Case in point, I asked both candidates to fill in the blank on “Donald Trump is a …?” Peterson said, “poor role model for our children.” Cox said, “president of the United States.” When I asked Cox why someone like myself, an unaffiliated Salt Lake City resident, should vote for him, he talked about the ease and responsibility of voting and his all-the-boxes resume touching virtually every level of government in the state. “We’ve never had a candidate for governor with the breadth of experience that I’ve had at the local level and at the state level,” Cox said, “someone who has served on a city council in a small town, as a mayor and county commissioner, in the House of Representatives, as the lieutenant governor and as somebody who has lived in and represented both rural Utah and urban Utah. I hope that’s something that would get people’s attention.” Unsatisfied, I asked Cox a more philosophical version of the question. A vote for Cox, I ask, is a vote for what? “I believe that Utah is an example to the rest of the country,” he said. “It’s really important that who we elect is a reflection of who we are as a people and what we want the nation to know about us.” I asked about tax reform, and Cox said he’s supportive of the changes made in March after lawmakers were beaten into submission on their food tax hike by an upstart citizen referendum. The new plan still hinges on removing the constitutional language earmarking all income tax dollars for public education— which by necessity means those state dollars will be diverted elsewhere—but lawmakers threw in enough sweeteners on annual funding increases and local district budget autonomy that the Utah Education Association agreed to stand down and not actively oppose the amendment. That’s what we call a compromise these days. It’s at this point in our chat that Cox and I fall down the per-pupil rabbit hole. But the long and short of it is that in an alternate world without COVID-19, Cox says education funding and particularly teacher pay would be the primary focus of his gubernatorial campaign. So, what’s the plan? How do we pay for raises? Prioritization and frugality, Cox tells me, that age-old conservative chestnut. “No, it doesn’t give you any more revenue,” Cox says of a post-amendment tax code. “But I’ve always argued that we have enough revenue. It’s about prioritizing and spending it the right way. I think there are things that can be done at the state level but also at the local level.” Enough revenue but still last in the nation on school spending, I ask? “We don’t have the lowest-funded schools in the country,” Cox says. “We spend less per-pupil than anywhere in the country.” OK, Spencer. I do manage to squeeze in a question about the state’s virus response, specifically if anything could or should have been done differently in the early days. Cox says it took too long to break through bureaucracies and get the right people talking to each other. And one lesson learned is the need to better pre-

SPENCER COX

COURTESY PHOTO

CHRISTOPHER PETERSON

pare in advance of a widespread health crisis. “We didn’t pay enough attention to public health and local public health, which makes sense when you have limited resources,” Cox said. “We tend to prioritize the real and not the hypothetical. But when you’re dealing with a measles outbreak in a single school, that doesn’t need nearly as much attention as something as big as this.”

Pet projects

For both interviews, I ended by asking the candidates what they wish we had more time to talk about. While it’s hard to picture, logic says that, one day, our collective attentions will move beyond the virus. Peterson was immediately animated and launched into a monologue about the unregulated dangers of the payday loan industry. Recent legislative attempts to nibble at the edges of predatory lending have only created a false sense of reform, he says, while Utahns continue to be ensnared by unethical interest rates and politicians continue to accept campaign donations from lenders. “The most prolific litigants in our state are payday loan companies, and they’re out there going after single moms, construction workers, public servants, people who are playing by the rules trying to get by every day,” Peterson said. “The overwhelming majority of Utahns want reform but it’s not happening because up at the state Legislature the payday lenders are very influential lobbyists.” Cox said he would like to have more time to talk with the public about urban planning, population growth and the opportunities for the old Utah State Prison site at the Point of the Mountain. He said the potential for that side is beyond “generational” in its scope, offering a clean slate to imagine a better future. “I really believe the vision, at least, of what we’re going to do with that property to be a showcase for sustainable growth and mass transit and maybe even making the first car-less development in the state, looking at air quality and density and all of those things that we’ve struggled with along the Wasatch Front,” Cox said. “This could really be a model for the future. It’s something that I’m excited about and something that I think the people of the state of Utah will be really excited about.” Here’s hoping. It would be nice to be excited about the future again.


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DANIEL COTTAM

the pandemic. It’s just worse than awful. The funny thing about that is Spencer Cox was in charge of all this, and yet it’s 99.9 percent likely he’s going to be our next governor. So, the person who was bad at it is actually going to be running the whole thing, which is kind of crazy.

GREG DUERDEN

Beyond the virus, what would you prioritize as governor?

Qualified immunity is huge for Libertarians. We’ve been speaking about this since the ’70s and ’80s, about how granting not only policemen, but also elected officials, qualified immunity allows them to operate above the law. Another thing I’m big on is occupational licensing reform. We’re really horrible here in Utah. We have so many jobs that need to be licensed. It really hurts minorities. It doesn’t hurt people like me — surgeons — I have to be licensed no matter what. But since we have so many things, it just creates barriers between people getting into their life and working in a profession, which is really horrible. The other thing is I would tell you. … we really do have to be cognizant of how we treat the environment. I would be open to ways to increase the cleanliness of the air and solutions for that, especially along the Wasatch Front.

Gubernatorial Contenders of the Third Kind INTERVIEWS BY BENJAMIN WOOD

E

very election, we see their names on the ballot running alongside the major party contenders. Since they are light on donations and name recognition, third-party candidates often toil in obscurity, struggling to make voters aware of what they stand for. But independent candidates fulfill an important role, which is to inject new life into the two-party system with fresh ideas and party platforms. For the Utah governor’s race, Benjamin Wood interviewed Utah’s two outsider candidates below:

Daniel Cottam: Get rid of the DABC! Libertarian Party

Benjamin Wood: For the uninitiated, what’s a Libertarian?

Daniel Cottam: In general, we are very socially liberal and fiscally conservative. We don’t care who you’re sleeping with. We don’t care how you want to dress up. We think that’s all your own business. We feel like, financially, the state should always be running balanced budgets and in general should spend less and involve themselves less in people’s lives.

What do you make of the state’s Coronavirus response?

I am a weight-loss surgeon … . I’ve published and done all these models that they’re talking about, so I have a baseline understanding that neither of the other two popular candidates have. If it makes sense, people will do it all on their own. The point, for the mask mandate, is that people have decided all on their own that they want to wear them, and businesses have decided that they want to enforce it. Great! That’s fine for them, but the government doesn’t need to get involved. When the government does a poor job of educating people, that’s when controversy arises. And the government’s done a horrible job at educating people throughout

We have a giant budget surplus. We have a great rainy day fund, and credit to the Legislature and the Governor’s Office before in creating those things. But if we didn’t have excess revenue, we couldn’t create a rainy-day fund, right? So, the idea that our revenue needs to be radically transformed, now, it’s kind of insanity. The government’s taking in plenty of revenue right now, there’s not a shortage of funds going to the state coffers. The people of Utah have spoken very clearly: they don’t want tax on food. The people, meaning all of us, should be able to say we don’t want that and then not do it, because it hurts the least among us. So, why are they bringing it up and doing it?

Would you support changes to the state’s approach to policing?

The first thing I mentioned was qualified immunity. The truth is that people will act differently if they know that they’re responsible. I, as a surgeon, have to buy insurance to practice my profession, in case someone sues me or I do something wrong. There should be malpractice insurance for officers. They shouldn’t be above the law. And you know what will happen is if they lose their qualified immunity, they will develop a whole new set of rules and guidelines that will allow them to interact with the public just the same. When you look at the European Union and how big it is, and you look at the USA, they’re about the same size. And yet the amount of people that the police officers shoot and kill there, and imprison there is radically different. To say that the way that we’re approaching policing is the only way to approach policing is completely false. We should reform the way that we approach policing on a dayto-day basis and turn cops into your friends.

What else is on your mind this year?

If I could change anything, I would get rid of the [Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control] tomorrow. The fact that we even have one is complete insanity. It’s more expensive with fewer options and fewer choices and restricted supply and I’m not quite sure there’s any proof that it does anything. The drug war and our opioid epidemic is a disaster. I would open methadone clinics tomorrow. The truth is we should make methadone free and anyone who wants to get in a methadone clinic should be able to, and I’ll tell you we’d end the opioid epidemic tomorrow if we did that.

Fill in the blank: Donald Trump is a…?

...confusing ball of misinformation. I’m so torn over Donald Trump. [Supreme Court Justice] Neil Gorsuch is as fine a jurist as I’ve ever seen, and I never would have gotten him if we had Hillary Clinton. But Don-

COURTESY PHOTO

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What should Utah do with its tax code?

ald Trump’s tariffs, and his import/export policies are unbelievably misguided and hurt Americans. We have two presidential candidates who both have been accused of sexual inappropriate behavior, who both want to penalize Americans for buying foreign goods, who both [may be experiencing] dementia. If you’re a Libertarian, this is like a no-win situation. They’re both awful.

Greg Duerden: Quarantine Is Unconstitutional Independent American Party

Benjamin Wood: What brings you to this race?

Greg Duerden: I’ve been a newspaper man in Utah for 40 years. I’ve covered politics, the good, the bad, the “ohmigosh, it’s ugly,” the corrupt and the not very intelligent things that have gone on. I’m well aware of the history of politics here in Utah. Primarily, I’m running because I’ve buried two wives, and I’m on my third wife without being a polygamist. I count in my blended family 18 children, 73 grandchildren and 6 great-grand[children] and counting. Their education has never been up to world standard. I want to raise the education standard in Utah to something that I could be proud of, and to tell my grandkids they’re getting a good education. One of the things I want to do is raise teacher salaries to the national median salary, which is about $59,000 a year at entry level. Most [Utah] teachers have about a $39,000 entry-level wage, so there’s a significant jump. But I want to do it without raising taxes.

How would you raise teacher salaries without raising taxes?

We suggest that we get the federal lands back. We can get the land back and then leverage that land into the value of our taxing entities. Our Legislature and our governor are stuck in the taxand-spend box. They can’t think outside the box. There are other revenue forms and streams that could be used, but it’s not easy, and it may be too mentally difficult for them to wrap their brains around. If I’m elected, I will educate the Legislature that they don’t have to keep raising taxes for ballooning budgets.

Greg Duerden interview continued on p. 17


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Greg Duerden interview continued from p. 14 What do you make of Utah’s COVID-19 response?

That’s one of my major contentions with our current administration. The shutdown, quarantine and what they’ve done is unconstitutional. They can’t tell you [that] you can only meet with 10 people or 50 or 100 people. The Constitution says you have the right to peacefully assemble anytime, anywhere, with any size group. The last part of the Fifth Amendment says government cannot take private property without due process and just compensation. Nobody has been compensated justly for their loss of livelihood, their loss of a business and being—it’s not really incarceration when you’re quarantined—it almost is like house arrest for six weeks. … Our governor and lieutenant governor violated their oaths of office to uphold and defend the Constitution when they committed that unconstitutional act. They should be ineligible to hold office from that time forward.

What’s an Independent American?

What are your other campaign priorities?

When they first started having the protests in Salt Lake City, policemen from all over the valley augmented the Salt Lake Police Department. The did what law enforcement is supposed to do, they did an admirable job of controlling unlawful assembly. While the people were protesting, they were generally peaceable, and I will defend to the death their right for peaceful assembly and protest. Law enforcement is an essential thing, and I don’t agree with defunding the police. I think respect for the law is important but respect for each other is most important. I think we do need a lot more police review commissions. That would provide more citizen involvement in policing policy and reviewing incidents. It’s never a bad thing for citizens to be involved, actively involved, with their communities.

Fill in the blank, Donald Trump is a…?

…an interesting president. I don’t know if his thumbs or his mouth are his worst enemy. He has done some good things, but he’s given the comedians plenty of fodder. CW

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We need more of an independent ethics commission overseeing the Legislature. The Legislature in its collective wisdom has established ethics commissions for the executive branch of state government and all the subdivisions of the state.

Does policing in Utah need to change?

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We’re one of the few political parties that bring God into the world of politics. We believe the Constitution was inspired by God through the Founding Fathers and are the words of God as much as the Ten Commandments are.

They monitor themselves, when it comes to ethics violations, with one of their committees. If that isn’t the wolf in the hen house, you know? It’s nonsensical for them to say that isn’t a conflict of interest. I would love to see us get away from the pay-to-play mentality that we have in the statehouse and the halls of our Legislature. The lobbyists have a lot more power up there than any citizen does and that is wrong.

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AUGUST 27, 2020 | 17


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born. Fueled by dishes that could appropriately flaunt their seemingly unlimited access to spices and crosscontinental flavors, Chettinad food became known for its depth of flavor—which was precisely what I was looking for when I paid this downtown spot a visit. Chettinad House opened its doors in mid-July, occupying the space that previously belonged to the historic

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Chettinad refers to a metropolitan region near the Southwestern coast of India that was built on a foundation of wealth and excess. It takes its name from the Chettiars, a clan of merchants and bankers who funneled their wealth into the palatial estates that checker the region. Such extravagant lifestyles demanded a high-class menu to match, and thus the Chettinad regional cuisine was

s beloved as tikka masala, samosas and naan are to me, I’ve visited enough Indian restaurants to know that such mainstays barely constitute a lick of the tip of the Indian food iceberg. Every region and city comes with its own culinary identity, and the staggering variety of that cuisine is something we rarely get to experience here in the states, let alone in Utah. Though our state has a fantastic array of Indian food stalwarts, I’m hoping the arrival of Chettinad House (169 S. Main Street, 801-410-4696, chettinad-house.com) heralds an influx of regional Indian cuisine for the Wasatch Front.

from the list, I’d suggest going with the Chettinad platter ($7.95) which comes with two samosas, three vegetable pakoras, and three pieces of eggplant. My order was missing the eggplant, so I’m not sure how that is prepared, but the samosas and pakoras were excellent. I’ve had both so often that I’m used to them being treated as a kind of throwaway, but the samosas were flaky and the filling had a slight citrus flavor that helped cut through the starchy potatoes. Of course, any meal here needs to be consumed with copious amounts of naan, and the bread basket ($8.95) is a great way to get a variety of Chettinad House’s traditional flatbread. In addition to plain and garlic naan, the bread basket comes with onion kulcha, which is a bit fluffier and stuffed with cooked onions, and some kabuli naan, which is stuffed with ground nuts and dried fruit—ideal for a light dessert. Overall, I enjoyed learning a bit more about Chettinad cuisine, and I’m glad Chettinad House is here for some tasty education. For local fans of Indian food who are hankering for something a little different, this place definitely needs to be on your radar. CW

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Chettinad House brings regional favorites to Downtown SLC.

from them in terms of flavor. This is a rich, deeply fragrant variety that goes perfectly with the dark meat chicken that swims in its velvety embrace. The smoky, peppery flavors definitely lend themselves to increased heat levels, but even the mild variety is an aromatic treat for curry fans. I also ordered some mattar paneer ($13.95) and lamb biryani ($15.95), which I couldn’t resist. Though neither dish is specific to Chettinad cuisine, the regional flare for deeply-layered flavors was definitely on display. Mattar paneer combines the cubed cottage cheese known as paneer with peas and tosses the two in a buttery sauce. It’s a bit lighter in flavor and creamier in texture than the Chettinad chicken masala, which makes a plate with both curries on top of some pillowy jasmine rice into a lovely palette of contrasting flavors and textures. I ordered the lamb biryani to see how Chettinad House would differentiate this ubiquitously Indian dish, and I was impressed with their take on it. Biryani typically begins and ends with savory and spicy, but Chettinad House has added some well-placed herbaceous notes that make this traditional dish unique. A strong appetizer menu is always nice to see, and Chettinad House once again proves its ability to take traditional dishes and put a unique spin on them. Since it can be hard to choose just one appetizer

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Checking Out Chettinad

Lamb’s Grill. Though leasing a Main Street property that was vacant for three years—and doing so during a late-stage pandemic—aren’t what I would call ideal circumstances for a new restaurant, there is something headstrong and ambitious about the whole operation. After perusing their equally ambitious menu—they offer breakfast service filled with crepe-like dosas ($5.95-$8.95), coffee, and eggs cooked any way you like them in addition to full lunch and dinner service—it became clear that Chettinad House was my kind of crazy. While there are a few traditional Indian dishes that I can’t go without, I decided to focus on dishes that were new to me. After all, this was a restaurant that anchored itself to a specific region in India, so I was looking forward to a bit of culinary schooling. I started with the Chettinad chicken masala ($14.95), which was a perfect entry point. Unlike the other masalas I have known, the gravy-like curry on this dish is a more russet hue, and smelled a bit smokier and cumin-heavy than its cousins. Diners have the option to jack the spiciness of this dish up as they like, but be warned—Chettinad House doesn’t restrain themselves when it comes to spice. If you want something hot, you better damn well be prepared to get what you ask for. Though a dish of Chettinad chicken masala might look like other tikka masalas, it deviates quite far


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Kahve Café (kahvecafeslc.com), a Turkish coffee shop that is gearing up to open a permanent location, is looking for some caffeine-loving volunteers to try out a few of their new recipes. In addition to serving up several varieties of Turkish coffee, the Kahve Café team will be showcasing some of their sweet and savory pastries—think Turkish black tea cake, fig cake and black olive cake. It’s a rare opportunity to check out an incoming restaurant before they set up shop, and it sounds like attendees will be able to offer valuable feedback on Kahve’s different recipes. The event takes place on Aug. 29 from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. at Maven Create (177 E. 900 South, Ste. 200).

Ronny Joseph Lvovksi at King’s English

The King’s English Bookshop (1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, kingsenglish.com) is hosting a virtual presentation from cook and food photographer Ronny Joseph Lvovski, who will be discussing his new cookbook The Primal Gourmet. Lvovoski will be joined as moderator by Melissa Urban, author and co-founder of the Whole30 program. The Primal Gourmet is Lvovski’s testament to the Paleo diet, and includes several Whole30-approved recipes. Whole30 and Paleo rookies and veterans are welcome to attend. The virtual discussion is free via Crowdcast; interested parties can register via the King’s English website. The presentation will take place on Sept. 1 at 6 p.m.

Carson Kitchen Opens

Chef Cory Halwell has chosen Salt Lake City for the third location of his national contemporary American restaurant Carson Kitchen (241 W. 200 South, 385-2523200, carsonkitchen.com). Joining locations in Las Vegas and Atlanta, the SLC location will feature Halwell’s trademark comfort food like crispy chicken skins, oxtail risotto and baked mac and cheese. The menu has been paired with an equally extensive beer, wine and cocktail menu. Currently, Carson Kitchen is offering dine-in only service from 11:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. and 11:30 to 10 p.m. on weekends. Its Salt Palace-adjacent location and trendy menu will make an interesting addition to the downtown area. Quote of the Week: “Coffee helps me maintain my ‘never killed anyone’ streak.” –Anonymous

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Lively carbonation tingles the tongue before dancing away and leaving a fuzzy feeling in my mouth. Medium bodied for the style, but still pretty light. Overall: This is a great beer for these intensely warm days—fruity, toasty, fresh and complex, yet light enough to keep it quenchable. Keep in mind that the 6.0 percent alcohol is slightly higher than your typical lager. It used to be that the beers made in Park City could only be purchased there. This is not the case now. Though these are small batch beers, you can find them at most Wasatch and Squatters locations, including the Utah Brewers Cooperatives’s Beer Store. Search these out; they’re very different from each other, and well worth your time. As always, cheers! CW

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and the head is built up a bit by swirling. A fluffy two finger head eventually reduces to a collar and haze but gets really rocky on its way down, and it leaves behind a shload of dry white lace on the glass—an attractive pilsner. Melon and hints of green berries ride a wave of saltine cracker malt notes upon first whiff. I smell crisp and hard baguette with some forcefully spicy saaz hops notes that many pilsners have. This is very lively and fresh with additional salt air aromas. I would like my laundry to smell this fresh! As damn good as it smells, the flavor is amazing as well. I taste vague melon, green grapes and some buttery diacetyl notes. All of these fresh, sweet and light summer fruits are supported by a fresh bread malt flavor, with a big cereal/cracker component as well.

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hen Schirf Brewing (Wasatch) re-invented Utah’s beer scene in 1986, all of the state’s beer innovations were coming from the top of main street in Park City. Over the years, much of Wasatch’s beer production was moved to the Utah Brewers Cooperative, but beer has always continued to flow from the Park City brewery. A few years ago, the brewery that Greg Schirf built recommitted itself to producing innovative high-point beers that are still keeping the 34-year-old brewery relevant. Oh, and by the way: I have a couple of fine examples of their newest offerings this week. Wasatch - Top of Main Series (Belgian Dubbel aged in Brandy Barrels): This beer combined with barrel selection

is quite the harmonious match. The mahogany liquid has an almost cordial-like appearance; the foam is minimal, but quite perfume-y. The aroma was simply amazing: Dried fruits, including figs, raisins and prunes, came through strong. Oxidative notes, along with an oaky, aged quality, gave the beer an intense port- or sherrylike character, really grape-y and vinous. Loads of maple and brown sugar sweetness follow, while toffee was also noticeable. That scent is super-boozy, but in a pleasant and warming sort of way—fantastically interesting and complex. Rich, boozy, port-like notes came through big time in the flavor as well. The hints of oxidation added some interesting complexities. Raisins, figs and plums were apparent, plus loads of toffee, sticky pudding and a touch of maple, leaving quite a sweet impression overall. The finish wasn’t too boozy, although 9.6 percent alcohol will tend to make you exhale slightly harder. As the beer warmed, the alcohol became more prominent, especially on the finish. Overall: This brandy barrel-aged version of the classic Belgian Dubbel style transformed the base beer into something magical. I look forward to this beer making a return. I don’t know if that’s in the cards, but I can hope. Wasatch - Landbier: The brew is light yellow and mostly translucent. Lots of white lace is left on the sides of the glass,

MIKE RIEDEL

BEER NERD


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Nick Anderson’s Far Out Cassette Club spreads the gospel of cassette tapes’ lowcost advantages. BY ERIN MOORE music@cityweekly.net @errrands_

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ar Out Cassette Club wasn’t a far-out concept at all for founder Nick Anderson; it was more of a no-brainer. When Anderson needed an inexpensive way to get his music (made as Nicky V.A.) onto a physical format, it was not just tapes he turned to, but used tapes. “Every time I go to the DI, there’s like a thousand ‘Book of Mormon on cassette tape’ things, you know?” he says, explaining the appeal of used tapes over more expensive fresh ones. “So I just started buying up all of those when I would see them … and I started using those and recording over them and putting sticker labels over the labels. I imagine that the people who owned the tapes probably never even listened to them. … It’s a fun way of repurposing something still usable before it goes to a landfill.” After successfully recording his own tracks, he realized that others benefit from this thrifty option for releasing music, too, given that professional companies often want artists to pay for at least 100 copies for their tapes, at a price most small artists can’t afford and for a quantity they can’t push out. He’s since put out small runs of tapes for locals to use as ever-valuable merch: rapper Ferrari $moke (fka Vinniecassius); found-noise experimentalist Fisch Loops; the smooth and jazzy ruminations by Heather Grey; dark pop princess Cera Gibson. But tapes, unlike the more popular vinyl format, have a special quality despite their lack of monetary value that has led Anderson to making releases that function more as sentimental tokens—like the tapes he made for Ogden rappers Clesh and Earthworm to give to friends who helped with their recent album. And though the tape-appreciation world is a small one, it’s tightknit. Anderson’s easy-going approach to making tapes (i.e. he doesn’t care about making a profit) has made him fast connections with other artists and tape enthusiasts from all over the country and the world—like Japan, where the niche format is already quite popular. In India, one tape collector releases compilations pulled from old found Indian tapes as @digginginindia on Instagram, and has plans to create a local label with the help of Anderson’s tapes—as soon as Indian borders allow U.S. mail to pass through again. Apart from these social connections and efforts to make new music, Anderson has fostered an acute appreciation for the format itself, in all its strange, abandoned forms. “Occasionally I’ll pop in some tape I find at an estate sale, and it’s just like somebody talking, it’s like their family history or something,” he says. “I found all these tapes where this guy recorded all his favorite music, so I just had a stack of vintage mixtapes essentially. So anytime someone bought a tape from me, I’d just give them one of these tapes as well.” This, he says, is what stops his project from being purely business, or even a proper label: “ I kind of just want to be like the

Nick Anderson

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CONCERT PREVIEW

Nick Anderson of Far Out Cassette Club Johnny Appleseed of cassette tapes. I just spread tapes wherever I go and give them to people—so the more random stuff I have that I can give out to people and make tapes more available for everyone, the better.” Anderson calls himself an “audiophile” for the format, which of course doesn’t deliver the quality that vinyl or digital does, but instead what he describes as a “warm and kind of fuzzy” atmosphere. His affinity for those aesthetics has led him down the path of bootlegging, too, transferring albums like King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard’s Polygondwanaland onto tape, while also pulling videos from the internet like the meme-ish series of “800% Slower” videos that are just slowed-down songs that scratch Anderson’s particular itch for ambient sound. Often, he’ll craft these bootlegs and put them out just because they’re so quick and easy to produce in his basement, and their novelty is appreciated by his small community—one he hopes to see grow post-COVID. His future dreams for making cassettes more accessible include selling vintage cassette players and recorders himself, as well as stocking them at record stores like Diabolical Records (his first Hasbro-colored unit was posted on Instagram during this writing). He also hopes to grow the cassette culture in SLC by capitalizing on its cheapness, with plots like installing vending machines at local businesses full of tapes that can be bought for pocket change. “Ultimately I want to be at the point where if I’m at the bar or something, people can be like, ‘Oh hey, you’re the tape guy,’ and I can just give them a tape out of my pocket,” he says. Anderson hopes his efforts will lead not only to more excitement around tapes, but to making it clear that the barrier to entering the cassette world is “very, very low.” In the meantime, though, he emphasizes that his barriers are already low for those who want help releasing their music on cassette. Though he makes “zero money,” his labor of love extends out to anyone who needs his special, lo-fi talents. Reach out to Anderson on Instagram at @faroutcassetteclub, and keep an eye on whatever novelties he brings to us next. CW


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BY ERIN MOORE

Phoenix Child

Outside Lands Moves Inside

This season’s loss of well-loved festivals has been no easy blow to recover from, but some are taking it in stride and making do in the meantime. If you were one to travel throughout the summer to big out-of-state fests, you may know of and be mourning the loss of San Francisco’s Outside Lands Festival. But no fear: This is one fest that is doing a bite-sized online version of their revelry, both as something of a replacement for the IRL event, and to commemorate years past. Inside Lands is their solution, and the best part is that it’s free. While they work diligently to prepare for the 2021 season (with a lineup that’s already out) and trying their best to honor ticket holders, Outside Lands has also been working to create this virtual festival that spans two days, packed with archival sets from the 12 years that the festival has been running. It will also be filled out by a few still-secret live performances and interviews with artists, festival curators and small businesses in the Bay Area that have been involved with the festival for ages. While the festival is not local, it may scratch the itch some have for late-August grooving, or at least provide some nostalgia about festivals from summers past. Visit twitch. tv/sfoutsidelands on the weekend of Aug. 28 - 29 to change up your scenery, and for updates on the stream. Or visit sfoutsidelands.com for updates on their 2021 lineup and other details.

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Turn-of-the-millennium nostalgia has been growing in pop culture for some time now, from hyperpop stylings to the resurgence of material familiar from movies like 10 Things I Hate About You or She’s All That. For many of us young’uns, a yearning for our actual childhoods is the draw to the era and its aesthetics—and luckily for us, some local artists are coming together for yet another outdoor Urban Lounge show, where they’ll pay tribute to the time period. It’s also more appealing than ever to look to the past, because the past, whether recent or ancient, was at least coronavirus-free. In the style of other outdoor shows they’ve been hosting in coordination with JRC Events, the venue will feature socially-distanced and seated set-ups, a distant bartender and the requirement that attendees buy tickets in groups of two or four to ensure that parties can be seated together. Those who decide to visit this blast to the past can look forward to performances by Cera Gibson and her angelic voice; potential raps from Icky Rogers and Phoenix Child; and drag performances by the varied cast of Sarah Prollem, M’Lady Wood, Kay Bye, Tara Lipsyncki, Izzy Lovely, Edgy, Sally-Cone Slopes and others. Visit jrcslc.com for more info on the event and social-distancing guidelines, and for tickets, and don’t sleep on this chance to return to simpler—and, honestly, more pop-culturally cool—times on Aug. 29 at 7 p.m.


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Still from WBCN and the American Revolution

U92 Introduces The Beehive Music Section

Bellerose in the Garten

KRCL Explores its Roots

KRCL’s Music Meets Movies tradition has shifted online, since going to an indoor movie theater isn’t really an advisable thing in this world right now. Instead, they’re utilizing the handy-dandy, trusty streaming option, inviting their listeners to partake in good films that benefit the station from home—not such a bad option for those who like having at-home movie nights anyway. They’ve got something good in store for music lovers, too, and for fans of the community radio that KRCL has fostered for decades. This Music Meets Movies features the 2012 documentary WBCN and the American Revolution, a film that explores the very beginning of what we know today as alternative “community radio.” Born out of the co-opting of a classical station by popular late evening and midnight sets that presented underground music and rock ‘n’ roll, the Boston-based station evolved into a de facto tastemaking and band-breaking entity with a reputation nationwide. With their eyes already on the little guys coming up in the music world, they expanded their view to report on alternative narratives around the anti-war protests and the Vietnam War, and fostered programs involving prisoner outreach and community bulletins. The diverse station—which included active and novel participation from women and members of Boston’s LGBTQ community—would go on to last several more decades in varying forms, inspiring the existence of more stations just like it, KRCL included. $10 rentals of the film will benefit our very own living descendant of WBCN, and more info can be found at krcl.org/blog/music-meets-movies-at-home.

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A little while back, we wrote about another show at the Garten at Mountain West Cider by way of Two Old Guys— but this time around there’s something a little sweeter in store. That would be the stylings of Bellerose, the alias of Kelly Bellerose, who often plays with fellow SLC solo artist JT Draper. Draper had his own show earlier this month, a backyard show with another local by the name of Nathan Spenser. With Bellerose, though, Draper accompanies her acoustic folk stylings and vocals that call back to the strength of celebrated ’90s songstresses, which she displays among cover songs and original tracks alike. She’s kept busy during the pandemic writing new music, with a soon-to-be released single “Just Like Him,” as well as a handful of Facebook Live performances, including one to benefit her own son who lost income due to the pandemic— a fate now familiar to many of us. If you missed the last show at the Garten, don’t miss this spirited local talent and the chance to spend the evening in the shady outdoors with a cold cider or two to keep you company. With summer fading soon, and a weird pandemic-ridden autumn surely ahead, any chance to soak up the sun at an outdoor show like this is not to be squandered. Visit facebook.com/ thegartenslc for more details about upcoming shows, and don’t miss this one on Saturday, Aug. 29 at 7 p.m.

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One very ambitious local is on a mission to provide more avenues for exposure to local artists: DJ Bangerang of U92. He’s a popular dance club DJ in his own right, and has been staying busy these past several months by lending mixes to podcasts and other radio sets, learning production, teaming up with venues like Golden Axe (yeah, it’s an axe-throwing spot) for a community fundraiser called SLC Unity Drive, and even doing the rare DJ set. But more than that, he’s established a new spot on U92—The Beehive Music Section—for local artists like him to show off their stuff. Debuting at the end of July with local rapper and A.M.A.O skateboarder Murderou$ T, the series has been built up over the past few weeks with more performances by fellow locals Zac Ivie and Shaadie. The latter has been busy releasing music videos for songs like “Soft Spoken” and “They Don’t Want It” during these down days, while Ivie performed recently with Dumb Luck and Native Leaves at a presumably-outdoor stage at Urban Lounge. The radio sets are stripped-down affairs— just a mic, a sound booth and the single solo rapper—but the simple format allows the talent of Bangerang’s chosen performers to shine through. If you want to catch up on who is disrupting the local rap scene during the pandemic, follow @u92slc and @bangerangthedj on Instagram for updates on who will be up next, and tune into 92.5FM to listen in.

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#Unfit preaches a case against Trump to the choir BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

T

hey may be hard to remember right now, but allow me to take you back to the carefree days of July 2016. Multiplexes around the country (remember them?) were showing such movies as the Ghostbusters reboot, Star Trek Beyond and The BFG, but also, depending on where in the country you happened to be living, a “documentary” by filmmaker, author, convicted felon and unrepentant bullshit artist Dinesh D’Souza. It was titled Hillary’s America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party—and if you are reading this publication, you almost certainly didn’t see it. That’s because, despite being released in an election year, Hillary’s America was not remotely about offering ideas to sway anyone who was on the fence about their presidential voting choice. It was pure agitprop, a 106-Minutes-Hate pitched at the red-hatwearing true believers, all built upon the ongoing American conservative fetishization of what the Republican and Democratic Parties were 50 or 100 years ago, rather than what they are now.

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It’s important to note that this prologue in no way suggests that director Dan Partland’s #Unfit: The Psychology of Donald Trump is as intellectually dishonest as Hillary’s America, or anything else tainted by association with D’Souza; there doesn’t appear to be a fact out of place. It is, however, worth noting that #Unfit is just as unnecessary as Hillary’s America, in the sense that its only conceivable audience is one that believes all of this already. In non-fiction filmmaking terms, it’s less a piece of journalism than it is a concert film, playing the hits to an audience that knows what it wants to hear. The focus of Partland’s thesis is that Donald Trump is mentally ill—again, not exactly a notion that is going to inspire gasps of shock from the target audience. It is, however, interesting to watch some of the psychologists and psychiatrists interviewed for the film explain what might keep more of their colleagues from voicing similar warning calls: the “Goldwater Rule,” established when mental-health professionals leveled similar charges against then-Republican nominee Barry Goldwater in 1964, and the notion of diagnosis without personal examination was rejected. The talking-heads here argue that ample evidence exists without needing to sit in a room with the guy, and besides, the Tarassof Rule—the requirement that a medical professional tell authorities when someone is an imminent threat to others—supersedes other considerations. Thus follows a parade of evidence for what the professionals identify as the four building blocks of Trump’s pathology: nar-

cissism, paranoia, anti-social personality disorder and sadism. And again, it’s not like any of this should be particularly surprising, though it might be an amusing diversion from all the horrifying material when veteran sportswriter Rick Reilly lays out Trump’s long history of cheating at golf. We’ve spent a lot of time since the 2016 election exploring historical analogies to Trump’s authoritarian streak; rest assured that in all the talk about Goldwater Rules and Tarassof Rules, nobody interviewed in #Unfit is going to get particularly worked up about Godwin’s Law. If there’s anything particularly irritating about #Unfit, it’s the way Partland tries to fold anti-Trump Republicans like George Conway and Bill Kristol into the mix. In the first place, laypeople—even laypeople who have had the opportunity to observe Trump up close—opining about his fitness for office isn’t really what this is supposed to be about. But there’s no excuse at all for allowing ex-White House staffer Anthony Scaramucci several minutes to defend Trump supporters with the ever-popular “economic anxiety” world’s-tiniest-violin

concert. As tempting as it might be to include voices from both sides of the “Trump is an asshole” aisle, that kind of soft-pedaling feels like a real case of not knowing your audience. Partland gets in and out of #Unfit in a tidy 83 minutes, so it’s not as though he hammers on the self-evident for too long—unless you begin from the premise that he didn’t need to hammer on it at all. Like all election-year partisan filmmaking— whether from a Michael Moore or a Dinesh D’Souza—this is a movie that exists solely to rally the base. If the past four years have had you in a near-constant state of furious agitation, maybe you owe it to yourself to rest your nerves, and feel content that this movie isn’t going to make you vote against Trump any harder. CW

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ARIES (March 21-April 19) Aries author Kareem Abdul-Jabbar writes, “Some stuff can be fixed, some stuff can’t be. Deciding which is which is part of maturing.” I offer this meditation as your assignment in the coming weeks, Aries. You are in a phase when you’ll be wise to make various corrections and adjustments. But you should keep in mind that you don’t have unlimited time and energy to do so. And that’s OK, because some glitches can’t be repaired, and others aren’t fully worthy of your passionate intensity. You really should choose to focus on the few specific acts of mending and healing that will serve you best in the long run.

entering a phase when your original ideas will be crucial to your growth. So, listen up, Libra: If you want to stimulate your creatively to the max, adopt the fresh-eyed attitude of a rookie or a novice. Forget what you think you know about everything. Make yourself as innocently curious and eager as possible. Your imaginative insights and innovations will flow in abundance to the degree that you free yourself from the obligation to be serious and sober and professional. And keep in mind that Stevens said you need courage to act this way.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “As idiotic as optimism can sometimes seem, it has a weird habit of paying off,” writes author Michael Lewis. According to my TAURUS (April 20-May 20) “There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same analysis, the coming weeks will provide you with ample evidence love twice,” wrote author F. Scott Fitzgerald. This is true even that proves his hypothesis—on one condition, that is: You will between the same two people in an intimate alliance with each have to cultivate and express a thoughtful kind of optimism. Is other. The love that you and your spouse or friend or close rela- that possible? Do you have the audacity to maintain intelligent tive or collaborator exchanged a month ago isn’t the same as it buoyancy and discerning positivity, even in the face of those who is now. It can’t be identical, because then it wouldn’t be vibrant, might try to gaslight you into feeling stupid for being buoyant robust love, which needs to ceaselessly transform in order to be and positive? I think you do. vibrant and robust. This is always true, of course, but will be an especially potent meditation for you during the next four weeks. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Author Rebecca Solnit writes, “The things we want are transformative, and we don’t know or only think we know what is GEMINI (May 21-June 20) As a professional writer, novelist Thomas Wolfe trained himself on the other side of that transformation.” Her statement is to have keen perceptions that enabled him to penetrate below especially apropos for you right now. The experiences you’re surface appearances. And yet he wrote, “I have to see a thing a yearning for will indeed change you significantly if you get thousand times before I see it once.” In other words, it was hard them—even though those changes will be different from what even for him, a highly trained observer, to get a deep and accurate your conscious mind thinks they’ll be. But don’t worry. Your read of what was going on. It required a long time and many higher self—the eternal part of you that knows just what you attempts—and rarely occurred for him on the first look. Even if need—is fully aware of the beneficial transformations that will you’re not a writer, Gemini, I recommend his approach for you come your way when you get what you yearn for. in the coming weeks. You will attune yourself to current cosmic rhythms—and thus be more likely to receive their full help and CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) blessings—if you deepen and refine the way you use your senses. At age 22, future pioneer of science Isaac Newton got his college degree just as the Great Plague peaked in 1665. As a safety precaution, he proceeded to quarantine himself for CANCER (June 21-July 22) It’s sometimes tempting for you to seek stability and safety by many months. During that time of being sealed away, he made remaining just the way you are. When life pushes you to jump in spectacular discoveries about optics, gravity and calculus—in and enjoy its wild ride, you may imagine it’s wise to refrain—to dramatic contrast to his years as a student, when his work had retreat to your sanctuary and cultivate the strength that comes been relatively undistinguished. I’m not predicting that your from being staunch and steadfast and solid. Sometimes that experience of the 2020 pandemic will prove to be as fruitful as approach does indeed work for you. I’m not implying it’s wrong those of your fellow Capricorn, Isaac Newton. But of all the signs or bad. But in the coming weeks, I think your strategy should be in the zodiac, I do think your output could be most Newton-like. different. The advice I’ll offer you comes from Cancerian author And the coming weeks will be a good time for you to redouble and aviator Anne Morrow Lindbergh: “Only in growth, reform your efforts to generate redemption amidst the chaos. and change, paradoxically enough, is true security to be found.” AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) The rapper named Viper has released over 1,000 albums. In LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) “To be successful, the first thing to do is fall in love with your work,” 2014 alone, he created 347. His most popular work is You’ll says author Sister Mary Lauretta. Have you been making progress Cowards Don’t Even Smoke Crack, which has received over 3 in accomplishing that goal, Leo? According to my analysis, fate has million views on YouTube. According to the Chicago Reader, one been offering and will continue to offer you the chance to either of Viper’s most appealing features is his “blatant disregard for find work that you’ll love better than the work you’re doing, or else grammar.” I should also mention that he regards himself as the discover how to feel more love and excitement for your existing second Christ and uses the nickname “Black Jesus.” So, what does any of this have to do with you? Well, I’m recommending work. Why not intensify your efforts to cooperate with fate? that you be as prolific, in your own field, as he is in his. I’m also inviting you to experiment with having a fun-loving disregard for VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “Self-love is also remembering to let others love you. Come out grammar and other non-critical rules. And I would love to see you of hiding.” Poet Irisa Yardenah wrote that advice, and I’m passing temporarily adopt some of his over-the-top braggadocio. it on to you, just when you will benefit from it most. I mean, it’s always good counsel for you to Virgos to heed. But it will be espe- PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) cially crucial in the coming weeks, when you’ll have extra potential “If you don’t ask the right question, every answer seems to bloom in response to love. And one of the best ways to ensure wrong,” says singer-songwriter Ani DiFranco. I suspect you this extra potential is fulfilled is to make yourself thoroughly avail- may have experienced a version of that predicament in recent weeks, Pisces. That’s the bad news. The good news is that I able to be appreciated, understood and cared for. expect you will finally formulate the right questions very soon. They will most likely be quite different from the wrong and LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Libran poet Wallace Stevens wrote that if you want to be origi- irrelevant questions you’ve been posing. In fact, the best way to nal, you must “have the courage to be an amateur.” I agree! find the revelatory questions will be to renounce and dismiss all And that’s an important theme for you right now, since you’re the questions you have been asking up until now.

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n Sept. 29, I’ve been asked by the Wasatch Front Regional Council and Land Use Institute to join a Zoom call (like I knew what those were a year ago? — no!) and be on a panel about affordable housing, the history of red lining in Utah and how old rules of overt discrimination against minorities have trickled down into housing trends today. I was asked to speak because of my article here on the now-defunct practices by banks in this country to “red line” neighborhoods where minorities lived so as not to grant home loans to people who lived or wanted to live in areas like Rose Park (west of Interstate 80 from the state Capitol). Housing discrimination against African Americans in this country was so pervasive that in the 1930s, the Home Owners’ Loan Corporation created color-coded maps of neighborhoods which they considered were at highest risk of loan defaults. Why would a bank grant a home loan to someone who wanted to live in a “red” area if the odds were (according the HOLC) that the buyer would default? Because of these rules, neighborhoods were often made up of white-only home ownership or of rentals full of minorities kept from owning homes due to loan limitations they may or may not have known about. Move 90 years ahead, and “forgotten” places like Rose Park are experiencing major gentrification and seeing massive growth of homeowners. The neighborhood is affordable to many first-time buyers now, and there are no lending discriminations because, if reported, a lender will have the wrath of the feds come down on them like a wrecking ball. It’s ironic that areas formerly red-lined by lenders are now some of the hottest areas for first-time buyers, many of whom are Black, Latinx and South Pacific minorities. The Wasatch Front Regional Council is a volunteer group of local elected officials including county commissioners or council people as well as nonvoting members from the Utah House and Senate, UDOT and UTA to help plan transportation in our area for the short and long term. This group also offers assistance in forming policy and outreach to other groups on air-quality strategies as well as community and economic development concepts that serve seniors, people with disabilities and low-income folk. And if that’s not enough, the WFRC also works with Homeland Security to write mitigation plans in case of natural disasters like earthquakes, derechos and snow-nados if they were to happen here to make sure our emergency communication tools and protocols are up to snuff. And the Land Use Institute was created in 2007 to raise the professionalism of those involved in land use issues. n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

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the time of the killings, Raff was insane. But the lawyers want to hold him culpable for his mother’s death, but not guilty by reason of insanity for his father’s death. “Explain to me how he can be guilty of one and not guilty of the other?” asked Circuit Judge David E. Johnson, according to the Richmond Times-Dispatch. Raff, who has a long history of mental health issues, admitted to killing both parents. The lawyers’ unusual plea agreement is designed to produce a suspended 40-year sentence for the killing of his mother that would compel Raff to adhere to treatment at the Central State Hospital for the murder of his father. Government in Action Jade Dodd renewed her driver’s license in Hickman County, Tennessee, on time, but when she received the new card in the mail, it was missing a key ingredient: her photo. Where Dodd’s face should have been was an empty chair, WKRN reported. “The lady at the DMV did not really believe me when I was like, ‘Hey, I need my license fixed,’” Dodd said. But when she saw the ID on her computer, she said, “Oh, I need my manager for this.” Wes Moster of the Tennessee Department of Safety and Homeland Security explained that the chair photo was an old one on file for Dodd that was reused for the renewal by mistake, and she was issued a new license right away. Chutzpah Daniel Albert Neja, 39, is a homeless man who resides in St. Petersburg, Florida. For nearly two weeks, however, Neja lived in relative luxury, the Tampa Bay Times reported. Neja was arrested on Aug. 9 after a cleaning crew found razors, shaving cream containers and blankets in a seldom-cleaned suite at Al Lang Stadium, where the Tampa Bay Rowdies soccer team plays. Neja had been helping himself to food and Rowdies clothing valued at more than $1,000. He had also consumed $250 worth of drinks. Aspirations Pal Onnen of Hastings, Minnesota, just wanted to put her nwot on the pam, United Press International reported. And indeed, on Aug. 12, she did just that. Onnen set the Guinness World Record for spelling words backward: 56 words in one etunim. Sgnitsah is so proud of you! Bright Idea Rev. Eileen Harrop of the Church of England is taking social distancing seriously as houses of worship reopen, Sky News reported. During Holy Communion, the church has decreed that communicants should be offered only bread, not wine from a “common cup.” But Harrop is going a step further, using extralong chopsticks to deliver bread. “I thought, ‘Why can’t I use a long pair of chopsticks, real bread rather than wafers, and drop it into the communicants’ hands?’” she said. She’s using the method at both churches where she serves. “This is ... perhaps a first in any parish church in the diocese,” she continued. Police Report Brian Duffy, 40, was charged with felony battery on Aug. 7 following an incident on July 26 at a Pinellas Park, Florida, 7-Eleven. Around 9:20 that morning, Duffy allegedly complained about the price of his Slurpee, knocking the drink out of the worker’s hands and causing the frozen treat to fly “onto the victim’s person,” the police report said, according to The Smoking Gun. Duffy left the store but was later identified by the 7-Eleven employee, although he said he didn’t recall knocking the drink out of her hands. A judge ordered him to have no contact with the victim and to stay away from that particular 7-Eleven. Send your weird news items to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

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Creepy Srinivas Gupta, a businessman in Koppal, India, and his wife, Madhavi, were building their dream home when she died in a tragic car crash in 2017. But in many ways, she is still with Gupta, especially now that he has installed a life-size wax statue of her in the home. Madhavi’s likeness is in a seated position, clothed in a pink sari and gold jewelry. “The planning for the house was all done by her, and we couldn’t imagine entering this new house without her,” Anusha Gupta, one of the couple’s daughters, told CNN. At a housewarming party on Aug. 7, friends and relatives posed with Madhavi on a couch and posted photos to social media. The family says they will keep the statue in their courtyard: “She used to enjoy the outdoors,” Anusha said. More Money Than Sense A Chinese businessman living in the United States has commissioned the priciest face mask in the world from Israeli jeweler Yvel, the Associated Press reported on Aug. 9. Yvel’s owner, Isaac Levy, said the 18-karat gold mask will cost $1.5 million and sparkle with 3,600 white and black diamonds. “Money maybe doesn’t buy everything,” Levy admitted, “but if it can buy a very expensive COVID-19 mask and the guy wants to wear it and walk around and get the attention, he should be happy with that. I am happy that this mask gave us enough work for our employees to be able to provide their jobs in very challenging times like these,” he added. Levy said he would not wear it himself, though. O! Canada Social media has lit up recently in Canada with photos of unexpected additions to beaver lodges, including satellite dishes and a flagpole. Glynnis Hood, a professor of environmental science at the University of Alberta, confirmed that beavers could install a satellite dish, “but it would probably be covered in mud.” So what gives? Hood and others think it’s the quintessential Canadian prank: “I think that Canadians have this profound connection to beavers,” she told the CBC. “It’s our national symbol. (It) just seems to go well with the Canadian identity.” Sure enough, Grant Carlson of Thunder Bay, Ontario, confirmed that he was one of the pranksters: “We decided to help the beavers. You know self-isolation isn’t so bad with Netflix.” Awesome! It isn’t often that you can thank your overweight belly for saving your life, but a 28-year-old man in Henan Province, China, is doing just that. The man, identified as Liu, fell through a wooden cover on a well in his hometown of Fuliudian Village on Aug. 7, Fox News reported. But rather than plunging to the bottom, he got stuck in the opening with his built-in life preserver. At least five firefighters were needed to hoist the man out of the well using a rope tied around his waist, but Liu escaped unharmed. Oops At Shooters World in Orlando, Florida, a teenage girl walked into a display gun safe on Aug. 11 and the door closed behind her, locking her inside. Orlando firefighters responded to the scene, where they “tried the manufacturers’ suggestions and unfortunately the fail-safe system failed on it,” explained Chief J.J. White. Instead, ClickOrlando.com reported, responders used a hydraulic extrication tool to free the girl, who was not injured in the incident. Compelling Explanation In Chesterfield County (Virginia) court on Aug. 12, prosecutors and the defense attorney for 55-year-old Robert Raff floated a dubious agreement in Raff’s grisly murder case. Raff is accused of killing his father and his mother in the same home, during the same two-day period in 2019. Two psychologists agreed that at


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