City Weekly November 4, 2021

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HOME RUN Advocates see a window of opportunity to confront Utah’s housing crisis.

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Check out weekly columns Smart Bomb and Taking a Gander at cityweekly.net facebook.com/slcweekly

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STAY INFORMED! Want to know the latest on coronavirus? Get off Facebook and check out these three online resources: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov World Health Organization: who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 State of Utah Coronavirus Updates: coronavirus.utah.gov

STAFF Publisher PETE SALTAS Associate Publisher MICHAEL SALTAS Executive Editor JOHN SALTAS News Editor BENJAMIN WOOD Arts & Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Contributing Editor JERRE WROBLE Music Editor ERIN MOORE Listings Desk KARA RHODES

Editorial Contributors KATHARINE BIELE ROB BREZSNY MATT PACENZA MIKE RIEDEL ALEX SPRINGER Production Art Director DEREK CARLISLE Graphic Artists SOFIA CIFUENTES, CHELSEA NEIDER Circulation Manager ERIC GRANATO

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Salt Lake City Weekly is published every Thursday by Copperfield Publishing Inc. We are an independent publication dedicated to alternative news and news sources, that also serves as a comprehensive entertainment guide. 15,000 copies of Salt Lake City Weekly are available free of charge at more than 1,800 locations along the Wasatch Front. Limit one copy per reader. Additional copies of the paper can be purchased for $1 (Best of Utah and other special issues, $5) payable to Salt Lake City Weekly in advance. No person, without expressed permission of Copperfield Publishing Inc., may take more than one copy of any Salt Lake City Weekly issue. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the written permission of the publisher. Third-class postage paid at Midvale, UT. Delivery might take up to one full week. All rights reserved.

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SOAP BOX “Yours Is Mine,” Hits and Misses, Oct. 21

Katharine Biele reported on good news from Carbon County, which is moving away from dependence on coal mining. Had Biele delved deeper into the coverage, she would have found a remarkable series of articles which, taken together, could form a plan for moving toward a more sustainable Utah.

Renewables are vital in solving the climate crisis, but cannot in the near future reliably supply all the energy we need. Therefore, we will still need power plants—but, of course, fueled by natural gas, not coal.

These plants will emit carbon dioxide. So we will need to capture and reuse it— for example, to supply nutrients and heat to greenhouses for intensive tomato-growing. These higher-value crops would let farmers make more money than exporting alfalfa (and the water to grow it) to China.

As the process becomes water-efficient, we could let more water run into Great Salt Lake, where it is desperately needed. And, of course, renewables and intensive agriculture can bring new jobs in rural areas to replace those lost as mines close. Such an approach requires imagination, persistence and dedication, and coordination between many stakeholders. But it is becoming clearer and clearer that doing nothing about climate change (and rural decline) is not a viable option.

RICHARD MIDDLETON

Salt Lake City

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Congress Needs Term Limits

James Polk ran for President in 1844 on a pledge to serve only one term. The citizenry at that time were well aware that term limits were necessary wherever power was involved. When Polk’s party asked him to run for a second term, he reminded them of his promise and refused to run again.

Orrin Hatch, elected in a different time, quickly forgot his own concerns about the dangers of unlimited terms of power, as did his electorate. Utah returned him to Washington for 42 years, seven full Senate terms of six years each. Many similar situations exists in the U.S. House.

The founders of our nation included a provision in the Constitution to prevent exactly what has happened. They prohibited the granting of any titles of nobility. In England, a title of nobility gave an individual the right to serve for a lifetime in Parliament, just like the king served in his office. Without limits on congressional terms of office, individuals effectively have been granted titles of nobility in America. A president with the powers of a king is still a king. A senator with the longevity of a noble, is still a noble.

It is time to recognize and apply the “Nobility” clause of the U.S. Constitution, and ratify an explicit provision limiting terms of office to perhaps one or two for senators, and four or five for congressional representatives. In 1951, Americans ratified an amendment to limit the term of the presidential office so we could not have a king. We must now do the same for congressional offices.

KIMBALL SHINKOSKEY

Woods Cross Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE BOX

What Was Your First Job? Cody Winget

Nordstrom. Keeping the sales floor clean and organized and pulled orders from the back during the Anniversary sale.

Christa Zaro

Filing/making copies for my dad’s medical practice. $5.25 an hour!

Annie Quan

Old Navy—I made $5.25 an hour.

Larry Carter

I’m almost embarrassed to say but I sold donuts door to door.

Eric Granato

Bagging groceries at an Albertsons in Holladay. Greg Ostertag from the Jazz was one of my regulars, but I had zero clue who that tall guy was.

Jackie Briggs Papergirl.

Kara Rhodes

I helped teach swimming lessons to little kids!

Benjamin Wood

Gutting rainbow trout at a fish farm when I was 14-15.

Scott Renshaw

I was an usher at a movie theater in my California hometown—which clearly had no influence whatsoever on my future occupation.

Chelsea Neider

I cleaned schools when I was 14, but my first official job was at 16 as a bagger at Smith’s.

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Donut-Hole Cops I

’ve never met the owner of Banbury Cross donuts. I’ve eaten plenty of his donuts, though—too many in fact. All I know about him is that several years ago, he asked our publisher, Pete Saltas, why he couldn’t find City Weekly any longer at the Smith’s Food & Drug store where he shopped.

Pete told him, as he told everyone else, that the ownership of Smith’s—Ohio-based Kroger foods—had issued a corporatewide mandate to remove all free-standing publications from all Kroger stores. All hell broke loose as a result, but that’s another story.

Why it mattered to us, however, is what the Banbury Cross owner did next. He told Pete that he was done with supporting Smith’s and was moving his buying dollars to Harmons, though it was less convenient. He never asked about our convictions. We never asked about his. All we knew was that he was speaking with his pocketbook in support of a free, independent voice. He also gave his support to Harmons, which is another local brand.

It’s a great feeling to know someone has your back, or at least will vocalize it. In the early 1990s, we were growing like a weed and had a robust distribution in Albertsons food stores—later Fresh Start, later Macey’s et al. Our pages were also growing, in part due to a new section of our paper—our paper was called Private Eye back then—voice personals.

The two dailies in town already had a personals section, and even the Deseret News ran salacious and sexy personal ads hidden in their thick classifieds section, until we called them out on their hypocrisy—but that, too, is another story.

The distinction of our own voice personals, however, was that for the first time, same-sex ads ran in this community.

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@johnsaltas

Let’s just say they were a bit controversial at the time with do-gooders of that era promising a swift end to life on this planet as we know it and attempting to cast shame on us for putting poisonous ideas into the heads of Utah youth.

So, it was that a pious group of alarmed citizens complained to Albertsons that our newspaper should not be allowed to be distributed there. Never mind that the Deseret News was running ribald sex ads themselves, of course, and the Deseret News was equally guilty of poisoning the heads of any Utah youth who wasted a quarter buying a copy. In short order, our newspaper racks were kicked out of Albertsons, and we could no longer place our newspapers there.

A gut punch was that those same pious citizens went about calling our advertisers, urging them to discontinue using us or they’d boycott their services. Our crime wasn’t sex ads or sex. Our crime was that we did not discriminate against or hate our gay friends and neighbors.

The details are a bit foggy now, but I wrote a column about taking my ramen noodles budget to any grocer other than Albertsons. It certainly wasn’t enough to lighten the pockets of Albertsons’ Boise, Idaho ownership, but it brought lots of awareness to this newspaper and Utah’s gay and lesbian communities. We soon began taking lots of calls from people asking where they should shop instead, but slowly those calls died down.

One day, a fellow called and asked to speak to me. He thanked me for my time, said he loved our newspaper and appreciated that we were the little guy standing up to the big guys. We’ve gotten plenty of calls like that over time. We’ve also gotten plenty of calls telling us what assholes we are, but neither of those angles steeped me for what came next. The fellow confided that via our voice personals he had found his gay soulmate, and he was forever grateful to me and the newspaper. Therefore, he said, he wanted to ask me a question.

I went, “Yeah, sure,” and he asked, “Is it OK to go back to Albertsons now?” This was a solid 10 years after the kerfuffle.

I was floored to learn of the long-term dedication persons have to standing up for causes they believe in and to show support for those who believe like they do.

If you follow local issues on Twitter, you may know that over the weekend, a sign was posted at Banbury Cross Donuts expressing their frustration over staffing issues that caused their donut production, hours of operation and sales to all crater. The sign said that they are short-staffed, it’s busy, and that no one wants to work anymore because government handouts are keeping persons out of the workforce, implying, said Twitter, that people are inherently too lazy to work.

You’ve all seen that sign or something similar before.

However, a photograph of this one travelled all over Twitter along with thousands of persons condemning Banbury Cross, ostensibly for not paying a decent wage. “Harumph!” they said, and off they went to buy their donuts elsewhere.

But how would they know if wages alone caused the work shortage there and at every other hospitality business around? Hospitality industry workers couldn’t work from home and order their food from a car window. They showed up for work. They became the mask police. They were the mandate police. They were threatened and spat upon. They caught COVID. Would any of the donut-hole police on Twitter change jobs with them?

Today, our publisher, Pete, was at a popular downtown eatery when its owner whisked by. Pete asked where he was going in such a rush. “I’m going to Banbury to buy some donuts,” he said laughing. “I don’t give a shit about the sign, people have no idea how hard this has been. Those people bitching didn’t go through what our industry did.”

Send comments to john@cityweekly.net.

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HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

HIT: Not So Fascist

“You Know Who Else Opposed Vaccine Mandates? Hitler.” That was the headline in a Jacobin magazine article, one of many hoping to educate the public about vaccine history and its ties to Nazi Germany. And now, finally, it was the Deseret News that came out against the curious correlation between vaccine mandates and the Nazi regime. It has been almost a month since antivaxxers stood outside the governor’s mansion, waving flags at passing cars.

Pictured on the flags were vaccine needles in the shape of swastikas. Yeah, here are the facts: “Contrary to claims about ‘fascist’ vaccine mandates currently circulating on the Right, the Nazis actually relaxed German vaccine mandates—and hoped doing the same for people they conquered would kill them faster.” Get it? The anti-vaxxer movement is inextricably tied to antisemitism. Even in Utah.

HIT: Electile Dysfunction

That’ll show him not to mess with … something. When Rep. Steve Christiansen, R-West Jordan, resigned from the Legislature and his position with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints, he did so after a very public maligning of the state’s popular and nationally acclaimed vote-by-mail system. Murky as his rationale was, Christiansen sought a forensic audit of Utah’s 2020 election, the Deseret News reported. You know, the same election that Donald Trump—along with the presumptive gaggle of Republican officeholders—won. Even the Democratic “losers” like the mailed-ballot system here, but Christiansen persisted. When Lt. Gov. Diedre Henderson spoke out, you knew he was done for. His church position was less clear, although many of the faith say he must have been “counseled out.” Christiansen indicated he’s just gathering steam for something later because of our “constitutional crisis.” For now, that crisis has been averted.

MISS: Let the Sunshine in

One story this week shows why news organizations are needed—and why, as they wither away, it won’t really matter. The Salt Lake Tribune “sought an explanation” for what was clearly an excessive fee for video of Gabby Petito’s Moab traffic stop. The city had charged almost $3,000 to various news organizations for bodycam footage. Turns out, it charged $98 to each of 30 organizations, but should have charged the cost of preparing the records only once.

Open government advocates fought hard to enact the Government Records Access and Management Act in 1991, but it’s been attacked almost yearly since then. “Sunshine laws are vital to a democratic form of government. They keep government accessible and accountable to those whom it serves—we, the people,” media attorney Jeff Hunt wrote in the Deseret News. Someone has to be watching all the time, but with fewer reporters on the ground the public should get used to being in the dark.

CITIZEN REV LT IN A WEEK, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

Got Racism?

You may have read The Warmth of Other Suns, but did you really read it? Did it make a mark on your soul? Americans were more concerned about the European wars in the early 1900s than they were about The Great Migration of Blacks from the South to Chicago. And we are still debating systemic racism in the misunderstood realm of Critical Race Theory. Author Isabel Wilkerson talks about the Social Ethics of Caste and Hierarchy at the Tanner Forum on Social Ethics.

“She is an impassioned voice for harnessing history to help us understand ourselves, our country and our current era of upheaval.”

Virtual, Thursday, Nov. 4, 7 p.m. Free/ register at https://bit.ly/3vV1gJx

Mike Lee at the Mic

We know you want to hear Utah’s Sen. Mike Lee address the issues of the day, like why he is fighting vaccine mandates, why he opposes the Build Back Better plan, why he thinks the attorney general is overreaching his authority by “bullying” parents, and more.

Lee will be on the hot seat in A Conversation with Senator Mike Lee at the Hinckley Institute of Politics. Institute director Jason Perry and Lee “will discuss Senator Lee’s policy agenda, his legislative goals and his vision for the future of Utah.” Because he is up for re-election next year, now might be a great time to check out that vision of his.

Virtual, Thursday, Nov. 4, 12 p.m., free. https://bit.ly/3bjAuRj

Who Are the Unknown?

When you think of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, you probably think of one. In fact, there are many individual unknown burials related to the Civil War as well as the remains of 2,111 Union and Confederate soldiers interred beneath the Tomb of the Civil War Unknowns—all at Arlington National Cemetery. It’s estimated that half of the Civil War dead were never identified. In honor of Veterans Day, the University of Utah will present Identifying America’s Unknown Soldiers, a somber and patriotic task, not unlike the work of identifying the victims of 9-11. Virtual, Wednesday, Nov. 10, 12 p.m., free. https://bit.ly/3jJ2iDc

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ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, NOVEMBER 4-10, 2021

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

Saigon to tell our stories for us, there’s been this wave of Asian-American writers who have decided it’s time to take back our own narratives, and maybe fill in some of the gaps in stories we’ve been telling over and over again.”

Utah Shakespeare’s Gold Mountain plays Nov. 4-20 at the West Valley Performing Arts Center (3333 S. Decker Lake Dr., West Valley City). General admission tickets are $59, and face coverings will be required throughout the performance. Visit bard.org for tickets and additional information. (Scott Renshaw)

MYLES WOOLSTENHULME

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your work to take a critical look at your creations. So the time off gave me a lot of clarity on how I wanted to approach creating dance again. I felt excited to explore in new ways and create more limitations for myself.”

The concert takes place at the Midvalley Performing Arts Center (2525 Taylorsville Blvd., Taylorsville) on Nov. 5-6 at 7:30 p.m. nightly. Tickets are $25; masks are recommended but not required, and seating may be at capacity. Visit arttix.org to purchase tickets, and saltdance.com for additional event information. (SR)

Like many performing arts companies, SALT Contemporary Dance has dealt with a long layoff before being able to get back to the stage in front of live audiences. For the company’s artistic director, Joni McDonald, it was inevitable that the artists would reflect that experience, even if the work isn’t specifically about the pandemic. “[The performance is] definitely is more of an escape from this time,” McDonald shares via email, “but the dancers bring their growth from the past year to the stage.”

SALT’s Fall Concert showcases three pieces: Salt Lake City native Garrett Smith’s 2015 work If We Linger, a depiction of overcoming trial and hardship; Ihsan Rustem’s 2014 creation Long Story Short; and After Discussing, created

by McDonald herself. She describes the piece as something that was born out of a year-long sabbatical, unrelated to the pandemic. “Taking the time off to focus on family was important for perspective,” she says. “I think it is important to distance yourself from

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SALT Contemporary Dance Fall Concert

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For 50 years, Utah Shakespeare Festival has brought Tony Award-winning excellence to its productions in Southern Utah of both Shakespeare classics and great contemporary theater.

But for those who don’t venture much farther south than Utah County, there has never been an opportunity to experience a full Utah Shakespeare production in the Wasatch Front. That changes this week, as Utah Shakespeare offers the new musical Gold Mountain in West Valley City.

In 2019, Gold Mountain playwright Jason Ma (pictured) spoke to City Weekly about the work then in development, which involves a romance between a Chinese immigrant railroad worker and a brothel worker during the construction of the Central Pacific Railroad in 1866. Regarding the need for representation of the Asian and Asian-American experience in the musical theater canon, Ma said, “our representation is very limited. But one of the things that has started to happen is that people are writing their own stories. Instead of depending on Rodgers and Hammerstein or Miss

COURTESY PHOTO

Utah Shakespeare: Gold Mountain

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2021

As his celebrated NPR program This American Life celebrates its 25th anniversary in 2021, which itself is only part of a 40-year career in radio, you’d think that host Ira Glass might have learned more than seven things. After all his, he has featured great storytellers like Michael Chabon, Sarah Vowell and Tobias Wolff, and has even expanded into feature films like Mike Birbiglia’s Sleepwalk With Me. Still, Glass chooses to narrow things down with 7 Things I’ve Learned, a live multimedia presentation that he brings to Utah this week. He discusses his ideas about narrative theory, and what makes something a great story. He addresses realizations particular to the enterprise of radio journalism, like how to sound “normal” on the radio, and how to interview children. There’s also information about how to “fail productively,” and how to take multiple hours of interview tapes and whittle them down into an efficient story. And he does it all in the conversational style that millions of regular listeners have come to love.

SANDY HONIG

An Evening with Ira Glass: 7 Things I’ve Learned

“You will be fierce,” Glass says of his professional mantra. “You will be fearless. And you will make work you know in your heart is not as good as you want it to be.”

Glass visits BYU’s de Jong Concert Hall (800 E. Campus Dr., Provo) Saturday, Nov. 6 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $15-$47; masks are required for all attendees, as well as proof of vaccination or negative test within 72 hours of the event. Visit arts.byu.edu for tickets and additional event information. (SR)

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ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2021

The phrase “social media star” can feel like a pejorative, as though the person in question really hasn’t done anything more to warrant their celebrity than make YouTube videos.

But don’t apply that dismissive notion to Blake Lynch, the popular YouTuber know familiarly to his fans as “Nurse Blake.” Long before he was garnering 12 million monthly views for his perspectives on the experiences of being a nurse, Lynch and his husband founded Banned4Life, a movement to rescind the federal government’s policy of not accepting blood donations from gay men, which succeeded in getting the policy changed in 2015. And beyond that, he founded a free social media platform, NurseCon, for nurses to support one another around the world and take continuing education courses.

When it comes to his live appearances, however, Nurse Blake brings things to a much more conventionally entertaining level. The “PTO Comedy Tour” finds him looking for both the humor and the emotion in the

TDK

Nurse Blake

frequently chaotic world of being a professional nurse—and, especially relevant under the current circumstances, celebrating the amazing work that those nurses do every day.

Nurse Blake hits the Eccles Center (131 S. Main St.) on Wednesday, Nov. 10 for two shows; the 6:30 p.m. show is sold out at press time, but tickets still remain available at $35-$55 for the 9:30 p.m. show, and for the pre-show VIP opportunity. Proof of vaccination or recent (72 hour) negative COVID test is required for this event; visit arttix.org for tickets and additional information. (SR)

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Do big movies demand big screens—or is insisting on that presentation a privilege?

BY BRYAN YOUNG comments@cityweekly.net @swankmotron

E

very year, people prophesy the doom of the movie theater; every year, a film is trotted out as the savior of cinema, a hero for the church of movies. This year, as box office struggles to return to normal in the time of the COVID-19 pandemic, that champion has been proclaimed as Denis Villeneuve’s Dune.

The director sparked this controversy all over again, as have many film critics, by insisting that the only way to see the epic Herbert adaptation is on the biggest screen possible, despite being released simultaneously on the HBO Max streaming service. Having seen it on the biggest screen possible, I’d admit that Villeneuve and cinema purists have a point. It’s beautiful and bombastic, with detail in every pixel of every frame. On the other hand, I’ve gone on to watch Dune repeatedly at home since then, and those advocating for movies to be released everywhere immediately might have a point, too.

So, which is it? When an artist like Vil-

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Is it a matter of privilege to say, “Suck it up and see it in the movie theater?” Because maybe the economics don’t make, sense since it’s cheaper to get HBO Max than a babysitter. Maybe it’s a matter of focus. Maybe it’s a matter of physical accessibility, or social anxiety.

You need to pick the experience that will allow you to give the film in question the attention it deserves. Yes, you can enjoy Dune on your phone. Sure, you might miss some of the rich detail in the imagery. But if you’re going to watch it on a screen exponentially larger, yet only pay it half the attention because of your particular distractions, you’ll likely miss even more. Who’s to say that’s a worse or less valid experience?

Not me.

BIG SHINY ROBOT

WARNER BROS. PICTURES

Screen Savers

leneuve says get your ass to the movie theatre to see a film like Dune, is it mandatory?

Should you feel bad for watching the film from your couch?

I don’t think there’s an easy answer to the question. And I truly think the answer is going to be different for everyone.

Personally, it’s my view that we should watch all movies in the cinema. I don’t think a film needs to have the spectacle of Dune to require the reverence of a darkened auditorium, silver screen and excellent sound system. Of course every movie benefits from this treatment. Going to the movies is a ceremony akin to religious services. You enter with your head bowed and sit quietly in the dark, expecting a sermon that you hope will change your life. The more opulent the palace of cinema and the larger the screen, the more awe the film can strike you with. Sure, crowds can be rude and disrespectful, and you might have to shush that kid in the fifth row and call out that asshole who pulls out their phone to check for a text message. But if you can focus there, there’s no better place to do it.

I have a harder time giving a film the attention it deserves at home. While I’ll watch plenty of movies on the small screen for the first time, it’s mostly because that’s the only way possible. But in the movie theater, there is no impulse to pull out my phone or answer that text or pause the movie to go to the bathroom. I’m there in church, at rapt attention from start to finish.

Others I’ve talked to hate going to movie theaters. They’re too fidgety for the experience, and they don’t like it. They don’t need that experience, and don’t want it. They’d rather feel more comfortable at home and not bother anyone else. People are awful and some of them are carrying disease, so maybe they have a point, too.

I’m a big believer in the idea that you should see movies in the biggest format possible, and one of the considerations that defines “possible” are all of your own idiosyncrasies. If your tablet in bed helps you focus on the details of the movie better than the IMAX screen at Jordan Commons, more power to you.

As for me, you’ll find me at the movies, worshiping at the altar of the best sound and picture quality I can find, phone set firmly on silent, and with nothing in the world that could distract me. We’ll both watch the movie in a way that makes the most sense for us—and then afterward, we can talk about it together just the same, regardless of our method of viewing.

Amen. CW

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Divine Plan

Eternals tries to get philosophical about God, but gets caught in the Marvel machine.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

MARVEL STUDIOS

T

he central characters of Eternals have existed on earth for 7,000 years— which feels like approximately how long the Marvel Cinematic Universe has dominated popular culture. Superheroes are the center of our modern mythology, something comic-book icon Jack Kirby recognized as far back as the 1970s, when he created The Eternals with a history that had them serving as the inspiration for the gods and heroes of ancient legend. And while this movie’s characters existed long before the MCU, Eternals feels like a natural next step in its evolution, launching with an “In the beginning …” prologue that effectively turns comic-book characters not into creations of humanity, but the creators of humanity. All bow before them!

The narrative of Eternals is a dense, centuries-spanning affair, built on the notion of a Celestial creator called Arishem, a bunch of monstrous creations called Deviants who have threaten humans from our prehistory, and a group of Eternals sent by Arishem to protect humanity from those Deviants. The central story takes place in our present, however, as Eternals remain scattered across the globe centuries after they believe they’ve eradicated the last of the Deviants, only to have one of them appear in London and attack the Eternals Sersi (Gemma Chan) and Sprite (Lia McHugh).

That leads to a journey to get the band back together, and figure out how the unexpected attack connects with the Eternals’ mission on earth.

There’s certainly the potential for a lot of entertainment value in finding out how the various powerful, immortal beings have decided to spend their copious time among normal humans, but that’s just one of the places that the script misses an opportunity. There are 10 Eternals in all, and since every one of them is being introduced in this movie for the first time, it’s not easy for the screenplay to find time to flesh all of them out, even over more than 150 minutes; the existential angst of Sprite over her perpetual adolescence was taken more seriously when it was the undead Claudia in Interview with the Vampire. While Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani) carves out a place as a Bollywood movie star, and technologymanipulating Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry) enjoys domestic bliss with his husband and son, most of the team generally seems to be spending eternity in isolation—which makes it a bit hard to understand why some of them feel connected enough to humanity to still want to risk their own existence in order to save it.

That turns out to be part of the central moral conundrum in Eternals, as the team members learn the details of Arishem’s grand design, and must decide whether

their creator is deserving of their continued service, even when they believe his plans might be unconscionable. It’s a weighty notion, similar to the one that fueled Michael Tolkin’s remarkable 1991 drama The Rapture, and the significant amount of screen time spent on hashing out these philosophical questions would seem to make Chloé Zhao (last year’s Oscar-winner for the contemplative Nomadland) a solid choice as director. There are moments when her own style shines through—it often seems that one of the unspoken powers of Ikaris (Richard Madden) is his ability to position himself so that his head is directly in front of the sun—but she also needs to carve out time for big battles with the CGI Deviants, lest the audience grow restless waiting through a cinematic debate of Plato’s “Euthyphro dilemma.” While there’s ambition here, there’s no way it was every going to be allowed to get in the way of the formula.

Not surprisingly, that formula also includes setting up down-the-line franchise installments, including the various midand post-credits scenes that will at least explain to the non-comic-book fans why Kit Harrington gets only, like, five minutes of screen time in Eternals. It seems impos-

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sible at this point for individual Marvel movies to resonate with serious dramatic ideas—or even the diversity represented in the Eternals team itself—given their place in the ongoing saga, which makes it a bummer when any individual chapter isn’t even all that much fun along the way. Eternals re-frames the nature of existence and asks us to disconnect notions of the good from dictates by the all-powerful entity. When that all-powerful entity is Marvel Studios boss Kevin Feige, however, nobody yet has gotten to diverge from the master plan. CW

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HOME

RUN Advocates see a window of opportunity to confront Utah’s housing crisis.

BY MATT PACENZA COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

ave you ever heard the one about a powerful Utah Republican pushing tens of millions of dollars in government funding to help the poorest of the poor?

No one has. But that could change in 2022.

After years festering below the surface, homelessness and a deepening housing crisis have exploded into public view, forcing even lifelong conservatives to contemplate backing major social investments to attack the problem.

Several key opportunities are emerging in the coming months. The first would subsidize the building of new apartments and homes, not just for middle-income earners like teachers and police officers, but also for the poorest, most vulnerable Utahns.

That proposal, led by an influential former state senator, seeks to invest $200 million of federal COVID aid into affordable housing and is generating praise from housing advocates ahead of the 2022 legislative session.

A second window may also be opening to give cities and counties tools to require that developers offer affordable units in their apartment complexes, via a controversial policy tool known as “inclusionary zoning.” Such policies ensure that as new buildings go up, so do the numbers of affordable homes.

Progress, though, is far from assured, despite the breadth of the crisis and a one-time opportunity to invest precious federal dollars. The governor and state Legislature might yet again disappoint by slashing or ignoring the requests for new housing investments. Or worse yet, they could react by banning inclusionary zoning for good and crippling cities’ efforts to spur affordable housing.

Still, Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenhall is hopeful the state government will rise to the occasion and help battle the housing crisis.

“It would be the biggest step the state has ever

H

taken to address affordable housing and permanent supportive housing,” she said of several proposals likely to face votes next year.

Boots on the Ground

Utah’s unlikely champion for new public spending is former Senate President Wayne Niederhauser, who was appointed state homeless services coordinator

by Gov. Spencer Cox in April. After six months on the job, housing advocates say they’ve been impressed

by Niederhauser, whom they credit with bringing an open mind and fresh energy to the issue.

Niederhauser has not only made it his mission to talk to experts, developers and service providers but also to hear directly from Utahns who are unhoused.

On many Friday nights, he can be found doing outreach among homeless people in Sugar House. “I’ve spent a significant amount of time in the encampments,” he said. “I’ve gotten the opportunity to know some people very well, to listen to their story, to understand their situation.”

The Sandy Republican now talks like a grizzled social worker about “people who have experienced deep trauma,” of “lifetimes of abuse,” and about “intergenerational poverty.” Returning these Utahns to healthier lives, Niederhauser has become convinced, requires not just housing but intensive services—socalled “supportive housing.”

“If we can connect them with appropriate services, we can get people back to healthier lifestyles and we can keep them in housing,” he said. “If we don’t deal with the root problems, we end up in this ‘spin cycle’ of homelessness.”

The former senator’s rapid education on these issues has led him to back significant new investments. Niederhauser made a bold request for $100 million during a September meeting of the Commis-

sion on Housing Affordability, seeking a one-time allocation of federal COVID relief dollars for permanent, supportive housing.

To be approved, that money—plus potentially another $100 million to subsidize new apartments for moderate-income Utahns, often called “workforce housing”—would first need to be included in Gov. Cox’s spending recommendations. From there, Niederhauser and supporters must convince members of the Legislature during next year’s general session—as lawmakers are under no obligation to accept or even consider Cox’s budget.

Political observers say Niederhauser—the senate president for six years until declining to seek reelection in 2018—could make a critical difference in securing funding.

“People sit up and take notice when he backs a specific proposal like this,” said Cameron Diehl, executive director of the Utah League of Cities and Towns, who added that Niederhauser is “tremendously credible” on Capitol Hill.

‘On the Edge of Homelessness’

Utah’s current housing situation is terrible—not just for the poor, but for working class- and middleincome families. Perhaps most depressingly, during the current construction market, Utah failed to gain significant numbers of affordable units built even for moderate wage earners.

The cost to buy a home in Utah has shot up from an average of $221,775 a decade ago to $460,000 today.

The numbers are even more cartoonish in Salt Lake County, where the average home now sells for more than half a million dollars, according to the Kem C. Gardner Policy Institute.

In just the past year—during a pandemic—singlefamily home prices skyrocketed by nearly 30% in

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“These are people on the edge of homelessness.”

Salt Lake City. That’s not even the biggest jump in the state. Prices went up 42% in Layton, 36% in Lehi and 35% in Logan. Someone should check on Loa and Lyman.

Rents statewide have jumped, too, as the problems feed off each other—if buying a home is out of reach, newcomers end up renting, driving up demand and prices. A decade ago inn Salt Lake City, the average apartment rented for $754. Five years ago, average rent was $949. And in 2021, according to data from CBRE and Cushman & Wakefield, the average rent is now $1,301.

Utah’s housing crunch is felt at all income levels.

It’s not easy to find a place to live if your family of four has a household income of $92,900 in Salt Lake City (the current “area median income,” according to federal stats) but it’s damned near impossible if your income is half that or less.

James Wood, a housing expert with the Gardner institute, estimates that there are at least 40,000 households statewide, or 100,000 Utahns, who receive no rental assistance—no vouchers, no subsidized apartments—but who are extremely low income, with an annual income under $28,000 for a family of four. “It’s a crisis for those families,” Wood noted. “These are people on the edge of homelessness.”

Developers like to spin Utah’s current problem as simply a supply shortage: Build tons of new housing—with as few regulations as possible, natch—demand will come down, and prices will follow. But a body of research shows that even thousands and thousands of new market-rate units won’t fix a housing situation this bleak. The shortages are simply too severe; the gaps too wide.

In fact, sometimes building more apartments can make the problem worse. If a developer tears down two homes that housed working-class families and replaces them with 16 market-rate units, the supply of housing increases but it’s hard to argue that affordability and availability has been served.

For decades, new apartments in Utah rented at reasonable prices thanks to incentives, especially the federal Low Income Housing Tax Credit. There wasn’t huge demand for market-rate rental housing, so developers relied on those programs to turn a profit. Approximately 25,000 of the nearly 77,000 apartments built between 1987 and 2017 had some degree of enforced affordability, according to a 2018 report from the Gardner Institute.

“All these marketrate units are coming online, and we aren’t getting nearly enough affordable housing.”

—Angela Price, with SLC’s Community and Neighborhoods department

“People don’t realize how critically important the tax-credit program has been,” said Wood, who led the team behind that report. He said those units, on average, have rents 15 to 20 percent below marketrate rents. Not cheap, exactly, but within reach of working families.

But in recent years, with a red-hot market, the proportion of new apartments that Utahns can afford has dropped sharply. As Wasatch Front rents skyrocketed, developers no longer needed subsidies to make their complexes profitable. When there is plenty of demand for space at Brooklyn and Berkeley prices, Big Apartment doesn’t need to go begging for a loan guarantee or tax credit.

Advocates bemoan all the huge apartment buildings rising with no units that working-class families can afford. Utah Housing Coalition executive director Tara Rollins described the construction and leasing trends as a “missed opportunity,” while other advocates paint the dynamic as an outright mistake.

“When you build 400 units, and none are affordable, that’s a failure of public policy,” says Steve Erickson, a longtime lobbyist for low-income housing nonprofits.

City officials, like Community and Neighborhoods policy director Angela Price, readily acknowledge these challenges. “All these market-rate units are coming online and we aren’t getting nearly enough affordable housing,” she said.

But one problem municipal leaders point to is a lack of sufficient resources to dangle in front of developers and incentivize more affordable units.

“We’re running out of carrots,” says Mendenhall.

“We need to take stronger steps. We need new tools.”

Rules and Tools

City officials across the state encourage developers to offer some of their apartment stock at moderate rates, but in only a few spots are they able to make developers do it. One tool that gives local governments leverage, as mentioned earlier, is inclusionary zoning—local ordinances that require builders of projects that meet certain criteria—above a certain size, usually—to include affordable units.

In some forms of inclusionary zoning, developers can either build those units on-site, or pay into a fund that supports their construction elsewhere.

Inclusionary zoning has boosted affordable housing from California to Massachusetts. Since 2000, Boston’s inclusionary zoning policy has led to more

COURTESY PHOTO

COURTESY PHOTO

—James Wood Kem C. Gardner Policy Institute

than 4,000 units of affordable housing. Any project of more than 10 units that requires zoning changes or city financing is obligated to make sure that 13% of its units are affordable.

In Boston, says the city’s housing policy manager Michelle McCarthy, the program works best for middle-income households. “[It] serves those who don’t qualify for subsidies but who can’t afford something on the open market,” she said. That niche has also become known as “workforce housing,” apartments and homes for a city’s nurses, teachers and cops.

State law in Utah neither explicitly bans nor encourages inclusionary zoning. That has made some cities, like Salt Lake, hesitant to adopt tough ordinances, which might then face court challenges or be slapped down by the state Legislature. But a few parts of the state charged forward with their own programs anyway.

Park City has had an inclusionary zoning ordinance since the early 1990s. It was toughened in 1999 and now is triggered when developers want to build any housing or commercial projects greater than 20,000 square feet.

The policy has resulted in more than 400 affordable units, says the city’s housing development manager Jason Glidden. He added that with current projects in the pipeline, the city expects “many more units will be produced in the coming years.”

Summit County has a similar ordinance, strengthened in 2012. It requires that 20% of new residential developments that meet certain criteria be set aside for low- and moderate-income renters, according to Jeffrey Jones, economic development director for Summit County.

The requirement covers a relatively small portion of the county—most of Summit’s incorporated cities and towns have their own rules—but has so far resulted in 330 affordable units in the Silver Creek Village development, and another 160 units of workforce housing near Canyons Village at Park City.

“It has worked well,” says Jones. “This affordable housing is not just around for five or 10 years, but for 60.”

Next year, for good or for bad, the state Legislature will take a new look at inclusionary zoning. Draft legislation is circulating among key stakeholders such as the League of Cities and Towns and Ivory Development President Chris Gamvroulas. Advocates are hopeful that a bill will allow policies like those in Park City and Summit County to stay in place, while

COURTESY PHOTO

—Jeffrey Jones, Summit County economic development director

An Everyone Issue

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NOVEMBER 4, 2021 | 25

Funding and new tools are critical, but so is political will. Everyone from developers to advocates to officials acknowledge the role that so-called NIMBYism (“Not In My Backyard!”) can play in deterring affordable development. Residents catch wind of proposals to house poor people nearby and often react by rallying to stop them.

Even if they fail, NIMBY efforts slow projects down and force costs upward, leaving bad tastes in the mouths of controversy-averse politicians.

Gamvroulas says that regardless of how new affordable housing gets built, via subsidy or mandate, officials will “have to have the political courage to approve it in a neighborhood, to ignore the signs, the petitions and the letters to the editor.”

The Cox administration is currently considering the proposal moved forward by Niederhauser. It includes a one-time expenditure of $100 million for the “deeply affordable” supportive housing that the former senate president is convinced the state needs.

He said one possible approach is to use the funding to convert facilities like motels into supportive housing as well as working with existing buildings can offer the biggest bang for the buck.

The proposal also includes another $100 million for traditional workforce housing, similar to what the city RDA wields—subsidies to help build apartments for households making no more than 60% of the average local incomes, or about $55,000 for a family of four.

Niederhauser describes himself as “anxious, but optimistic” about the $200 million request. But he acknowledges it might get trimmed either by Cox’s budgeting process or by the Legislature. “We’re just crossing our fingers,” he said. “We can use every dollar they’ll give us.”

Mendenhall, too, is wary, but hopeful that the capital city in the fastest-growing state in the country will finally get the money and tools it needs to make a real difference. She and others say that housing has finally become an “everyone” issue in Utah, as legislators from across the state hear their neighbors, their children and their grandchildren complaining they can’t find a place to live.

“No matter where you are on the political spectrum, everyone wants their kids to be able to live here, to live near them, to find an affordable home, to participate in our economy, to have stability and happiness,” she said. CW

Advocates have seen Salt Lake City almost take action on affordable housing before. But as so often happens in Utah, they say the city backs off after be-

ing told that if they stick their neck out, they will get slapped down by a Legislature that loathes progressive measures even more than it loves local control.

For example, around the year 2000, Erickson helped write an ordinance that required developers who wanted to tear down existing affordable housing to build new units, or to pay into a fund to replace them. But a city attorney said it might violate state law, so the measure never even saw a vote, let alone a court challenge.

It begs a regular question here in Utah—relevant to everything from clean air to health care: Do progressive policies fail because of the big, bad conservatives up on the Hill? Or because the state’s urban leaders won’t fight for bold measures?

One problem, observers say, is frequent change in mayors and city council members. Elected officials take a few years to claw their way to clarity on a complex issue like affordable housing. By the time they get a proposal vetted, some leave office. Momentum is lost, and the whole cycle repeats again.

Housing appears to be a more consistent focus of the current Salt Lake City administration, however.

Officials tout the city’s investment of more than $67 million over the past five years through the Redevelopment Agency (RDA), which has led to more than 3,000 units of housing with some degree of guaranteed affordability.

Thanks to the first round of federal COVID-19 relief—namely the American Rescue Plan Act (ARPA)— the city has new resources. In September, it released $8 million in housing funding, followed by an announcement several weeks later of $4 million in ARPA funding for a new city endeavor—the Westside Community Land Initiative—through which the RDA will acquire land and property to guarantee affordability.

The RDA has received some flak in the past for focusing too much of its resources on units that are affordable only to middle-income renters, rather than “deeply” affordable units that are most in need. RDA Director Danny Walz says the agency is shifting its focus to do as much of the latter as possible, even though those units require the most subsidy.

The city next year will get the results of a gentrification study, being conducted by a Berkeley planning firm. “We are looking at every single possible policy out there,” Price said. One possibility is a bill like the one that Erickson worked on years ago, requiring developers to replace any affordable units they tear down.

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Revolving Doors

—Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenhall

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also giving cities like Salt Lake confidence to move forward with their own requirements.

Backers of inclusionary policies are optimistic, but they also know that legislation could take the state backward, even gutting the requirements that currently exist. Listen to Gamvroulas, a key player on these issues up at the Capitol, and such worries seem warranted—he described the inclusionary zoning approach as “inefficient” and a “tax” on residential developers that will drive costs higher.

City and county officials are concerned. “I would hope that places like Summit County and Park City and other communities that utilize inclusionary zoning would have an opportunity to come forward and talk about how it actually works and who has benefitted from it,” says Jones of Summit County.

Gamvroulas, whose company helps build affordable housing like a recent workforce housing development in South Jordan, is openly skeptical about inclusionary zoning. He says it’s “been objectively a failure, in terms of creating meaningful affordable housing.” His bar for success is quite high, though.

Few advocates argue that such policies are a silver bullet for creating significant numbers of housing units for the poorest residents; most, like Boston, target middle-income renters.

Conservative lawmakers treat any mandates from cities as suspect. And during the 2021 legislative session, one housing bill included language that would have banned municipalities from enacting inclusionary zoning, before it was stripped out.

Lobbyist Steve Erickson did a study for Salt Lake City in 2016 examining inclusionary zoning. Today, looking back, he wishes a strong bill would have passed. (No bill was drafted, let alone voted on.) He says it could have made a significant difference just as new rental construction in the city was poised to explode. In an apartment market overflowing with profit, developers will still move forward with projects even if they have to sacrifice a few dollars to build some affordable units.

“We should have taken advantage of all this housing being built,” Erickson said. “Someday, it will taper off. And that won’t be a good time to require inclusionary zoning.”

“No matter where you are on the political spectrum, everyone wants their kids to be able to live here, to live near them, to find an affordable home, to participate in our economy, to have stability and happiness.”

COURTESY PHOTO

Affordable housing ordinances have “worked well.”

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Best bet: Any kabob’za will do Can’t miss: The street fries

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AT A GLANCE

HAND

henever I see a fast-casual joint that serves up traditional Indian cuisine open its doors, I can’t help but get a little excited. It’s an excitement that comes with a tinge of apprehension, however—Indian fast-casual spots tend to have a short lifespan.

This optimism for an Indian fast-casual place to fit into my rotation was recently rekindled a few months ago when I saw that an Indian and Pakistani fusion place called Kabob Bros (748 W. Blue Vista Lane, Ste. 600, Midvale, 385-275-7172, the-kabobbros.business.site) opened up. It’s taken me a little bit of time to pay this place a visit, but it’s got me thinking fast-casual Indian food just might have a future here. What’s more, the menu at Kabob Bros is entirely halal and vegetarian friendly; we could use more of both in the fast-casual world.

Kabob Bros set up shop in that volatile shopping district near the Zagg and Overstock.com corporate offices in Midvale, so it’s easy to miss it when you’re in that part of town. It’s been some time since I’ve personally visited this area; I believe Kabob Bros occupies a spot that once belonged to a fast-casual nu-gastropub that did pizza and burgers, may it rest in peace.

It’s a high-risk, high-reward location, but I think Kabob Bros has a few tricks up

PLENTY OF PATIO SEATING

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BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

things don’t get too dry. Right when you least expect it, you get a zing of acidic dill pickle flavor. When it first hits the tongue, you’re like, who invited that spooky art student that goes door to door selling his homemade manga comics to the neighbors?

But once you see him with a few drinks under his belt, you can’t help but nod and say, “Fuck yeah, Brenton!”

Sufficiently pleased by the kabob’za, I next went for the street fries. I opted for the Beef Tikka Street Fries ($8.99), since I was curious to check out their red-meat game after enjoying their chicken chapli. You might be tempted to think that the street fries are something to get on the side, but it’s a good idea to purge that thought from your brain right now. It’s a heap of both waffle and curly style fries, which I heartily respect—both varieties are built for scooping up toppings—topped with all those lovely pizza fixings I mentioned earlier. It’s a fantastic mess, laden with garlicky, curry-heavy flavors. Here it was the beef that caught my attention—it’s superbly tender, and tasted amazing with the garlic sauce and curry fry sauce that slather this dish.

If more traditional Middle Eastern food is your thing, Kabob Bros also offers kabob plates and kabob masalas. There’s nothing wrong with hanging on this end of the menu, as they aren’t kidding around with their kabob skills, but as with all places that have decided to get a little crazy with their concept, try the weird stuff first. Sure, sometimes it’s a gimmick, but at Kabob Bros, the weird stuff happens to be the life of the party. CW

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Come At Me, Bros

its sleeve that might help it put down some roots. The name itself has its own kind of big-dick energy that I could see playing well with the business lunch clientele— Kabob Bros is only a hop, skip and a jump away from tech bro, after all. Adding a unique menu that uses a Middle Eastern foundation of kabobs and falafel to construct variations on street fries and pizza also makes Kabob Bros a powerful way to break up the workday monotony.

Now, Kabob Bros isn’t the first Indian fusion restaurant to make us fall in love with it by putting chicken tikka masala on a pizza. That said the pizza—or kabob’za as it is called within the confines of Kabob Bros—is very much its own thing. I went with the Chicken Chapli Kabob’za ($9.99) for my first rodeo, and I have to say I was impressed. It’s got a naan crust which gets topped with a masala pizza sauce, melty cheese, green peppers, mushrooms, kabobs made from ground chicken and, I shit you not, slices of dill pickle. The whole masala mosh pit gets a generous drizzle of the Kabob Bros garlic sauce which plays very nicely with the pizza sauce.

From a size perspective, I would classify the kabob’za as a member of the personal pizza variety. It’s about eight inches in diameter, sliced into four chunky pieces. The toppings are plentiful, and the naan crust does a good job of keeping all that cargo secured. I normally detest green peppers on pizza, but when you’re talking masala pizza, I really think they work—plus, the added greenery makes you feel better about devouring everything else because veggies.

As far as flavor goes, the kabob’za does not pull any punches. A bit of feta cheese shows up at this party, and you get that buttery flavor right around the same time the masala sauce starts to get too sweet. The other veggies at the party do a nice job of providing some fresh flavor and welcome crunch, and the garlic sauce makes sure

onTAP S ON U W FOLLO GRAM A T S IN

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@S

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com On Tap: Bougie Johnny’s Rose

Bewilder Brewing 445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com On Tap: Haze Hugs Hazy Pale

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com On Tap: Ghost Pepper Hard Cider

Bohemian Brewery 94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

Ogden River Brewing 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenRiverBrewing.com On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Bonneville Brewery 1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com On Tap: Peaches & Cream Ale

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Desert Edge Brewery 273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com On Tap: Fresh Brewed UPA

Proper Brewing 857 S. Main, SLC ProperBrewingCo.com On Tap: Gungan Sith Lord

Epic Brewing Co. 825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com On Tap: Chocolate Mint Big Bad Baptist Imperial Stout

Red Rock Brewing Multiple Locations RedRockBrewing.com On Tap: Baked Pastry Stout

Fisher Brewing Co. 320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com On Tap: Red Ale Grid City Beer Works 333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com On Tap: Extra Pale Ale Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com On Tap: Don’t Use Jelly Tangerine IPA

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2 Row Brewing 6856 S. 300 West, Midvale 2RowBrewing.com On Tap: Feelin’ Hazy

Hoppers Grill and Brewing 890 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale HoppersBrewPub.com Kiitos Brewing 608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com On Tap: Jackson 7 Fresh Hop Pale Ale

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A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week Squatters 147 W. Broadway, SLC Squatters.com Strap Tank Brewery Multiple Locations StrapTankBrewery.com Springville On Tap: PB Rider, Peanut Butter Stout Lehi On Tap: 2-Stroke, Vanilla Mocha Porter TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com On Tap: Edel Pils Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com On Tap: Uplifted Scottish Style Ale Toasted Barrel Brewery 412 W. 600 North, SLC ToastedBarrelBrewery.com

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com On Tap: Mild and Free British Mild

Uinta Brewing 1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer

Roosters Brewing Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com On Tap: Cosmic Autumn Rebellion

UTOG 2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com On Tap: Snowcat IPA

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com On Tap: A Series of Singularities

Vernal Brewing 55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com On Tap: Pumpkin Spice Latte Ale Shades Brewing 154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer On Tap: Pumpkin Cream Ale Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Wasatch 2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC WasatchBeers.com Zion Brewery 95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com Zolupez 205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

Macabre Beer

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

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ou may be familiar with many of Utah’s craft beer pubs and restaurants that pepper the Wasatch Front, but there’s one that may not be on your radar. Beer Zombies is owned by Chris Jacobs, a beer blogger and entrepreneur from Las Vegas. Jacobs started his beer career as a blogger, and was able to transition into beer festivals and, eventually, beer bars. In July 2019, The Beer Zombies Bottle Shop and draft room opened its doors to the public, focusing on a small, curated selection of packaged beers that can be enjoyed on-premises or to go. Six months later, Beer Zombies SLC debuted.

Beer Zombies collaborates with various California breweries to produce their macabre, themed line of beers. When these special beers hit Beer Zombies’ Vegas bar, they also hit SLC’s pub exclusively. Recently two new Beer Zombie beers hit our market, and I had to jump on them.

Beer Zombies - The Hoppy Horror Picture Show: It pours a creamy-looking bleached white top, full and rich, standing three fingers high with big, thick, bubbly lacking. The body is slightly hazy with some clarity, actually, and a nice lemon-yellow glow, with a tinge of green. A great hop aroma hints at slightly fruity citrus, but goes into a thick tropical note somewhat like mango and pineapple. There’s even a little earthy dank as well, following nicely and complementing the rest of the scent, with no single hop aroma overwhelming the others. A touch of light malt sweetness provides excellent balance also.

The flavors seem to stick to simpler ba-

sics. It’s surprisingly light-bodied, almost session-like, but a decent malt backbone supports the palate, showcasing some nice hop flavors. The hop angle is a bit less nuanced than the nose hints at, though, with light touches of juiced orange and a slight herbal quality, as well. Finishes quickly, with not much aftertaste but with a hint of lighted malt sweetness.

Overall: Medium-bodied throughout, but trending much sharper, more bitter and drier in finish than is typical for a New England-style IPA. A great sense of drinkability, refreshment and dryness lingers medium long with some bitterness, but far shy of the roundness or smoothness that’s expected out of 9.1 percent “hazy” ale.

Beer Zombies - Evil Haze: The body is a medium gold color that is lighter at the edges. It is very hazy, but shadows of shapes are visible with only a light bit of fuzz. The head is large and very fluffy, with a cloud-like appearance—pure white with good head retention. It has a nice aroma that starts showing itself off as soon as the can is cracked, not a very strong aroma but a pleasant one. There is a bit of a peach scent with a generic floral aroma, and some alcohol comes through if the nose lingers over the glass for longer than a moment.

Up front, a strong peach flavor comes through. It tastes sweet at the front of the tongue, then as it moves to the center of the palate, it delivers a bit of alcohol with more of the same mellow peach flavor. There’s a light bit of blood orange at the back of the palate, while alcohol lingers in the finish.

Overall: It’s a pretty good New Englandstyle IPA. The hop aromas and flavors are appealing, but they are both very mellow.

The beer mostly has a peach character, and although the can notes that this is only a spooky 9.666 percent ABV, it has a rather pronounced alcohol aroma and flavor.

Besides these beers, there’s an impressive line-up of locals on draft and in cans and bottles. Located at 153 S. Rio Grande Street, Beer Zombies is part of the HallPass food hall, joining its sister company SkinnyFATS, at the Gateway Complex. It’s well worth checking out. As always, brains … um, cheers! CW

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Ogden has been blowing up with new and interesting restaurants recently, so the city’s annual Restaurant Week (visitogden.com/restaurantweek) can’t come soon enough. From Nov. 4 - 13, local diners can sample some of the best dining Ogden has to offer. Interested foodies can sign up for a restaurant week pass via visitogden.com and gain access to special menu items from Ogden restaurants like Lucky Slice, Rovali’s, Slackwater and Thai Curry Kitchen. Local brewers and distilleries like Roosters, Talisman, Ogden’s Own Distillery and New World Distillery will also be participating with an exclusive cocktail menu. It’s always fun to see what’s cooking up north.

Local Vegan Bakery Recognized by PETA

PETA recently released its top ten list of plant-based pies for 2021, and the team at Sweet Hazel & Co. (167 W. 4500 South, Murray, 385-495-7336, sweethazelandco.com) made the cut. The list was curated from bakeries across the country, so having a Utah bakery get such prestige for their plant-based desserts is no small feat. The pie in question is Sweet Hazel’s key lime pie, which uses sweetened condensed coconut milk with key limes to achieve the perfect balance of sweet and tangy.

Of course, what’s a key lime pie without a bit of plantbased whipped cream? If only there was some kind of holiday on the horizon where pie featured prominently…

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alk under the bold pink sign into Why Kiki at 69 W. 100 South downtown, and this is probably what you’ll see: a lot of people in costumes, drag queens swanning around glamorously and bartenders behind the island-themed bar dressed to the nines and shaking away at fluorescent drinks for a waiting crowd.

Around the corner is the tall stage and watch area, and the rest of the bar is filled with nooks and crannies of private rooms, an entrance to the underground silent disco, two doorless and bustling gender-neutral bathrooms and a back patio over which sails a pirate ship, complete with a mermaid at the bow. At this new little downtown gem of a bar, the flavored rum flows freely, and you can be whoever you want to be—and no one knows it better than the local drag artists who perform there.

“I like that Why Kiki doesn’t have a label. It’s not a straight bar, but it’s also not strictly an LGBTQ bar,” says Lisa Dank, one of those local drag artists. “It’s a bar for anyone who wants to be included and have a great time regardless of who you are and how you identify.”

Another local drag queen, Sally Cone Slopes, shares these observations: “It’s

very close to the Salt Palace, which hosts people from around the world who are in town for a conference. Showing people the talent Salt Lake has to offer is an amazing experience. It also attracts people from all over the state.”

Besides performing there, Sally Cone Slopes also partakes in the other fun features of the bar. “Being a themed bar with fun drinks and food definitely brings in people, but there is also a silent disco where you are able to listen to three DJs on one dance floor. You can easily find me down there after shows. It’s too much fun to resist!”

There are many other bars and venues, of course, that host drag shows often, but the addition of a new one to the downtown nightlife scene only makes the community stronger and more diverse. Lisa Dank also appreciates the new crowd of people being exposed to the bar: “There’s a lot of people that I’ve talked to at Why Kiki where it’s their first time at a drag show, and I love that they get to see a show with a cast of very different talents. Drag queens, drag kings, burlesque performers, belly dancers ... every show really is so unique.”

The way each show is decided, too, includes input from the performers themselves. “I love being able to express myself and how I’m feeling in the moment through my looks or songs of choice to perform to, and as performers we truly have free reign to do whatever we see fit for the stage at Why Kiki,” says Lisa Dank. “I love a theme, and every Saturday they have a different night planned—which us performers have a lot of say in—and I think that’s awesome.”

While the performers help establish the themes for these Saturday Night Vibes events, each night wouldn’t be a success without the participation of attendees.

“From the crowd, to the bartenders, to the performers, it’s such a diverse crowd of people,” Lisa Dank explains. “For instance,

Sally Cone Slopes Performing at Why Kiki Lady Facade (another Why Kiki resident performer) and myself hosted a goth night last month, and all walks of life came together to party and just have fun, whether they [were] from a ‘goth background’ or not. And it’s like that every weekend, no matter what the theme is.”

Sally Cone Slopes also points out that even though Why KiKi truly feels like it’s a place for everyone, it also feels particularly comfortable for LGBTAIA+ community members. “A lot of bars may have a Pride flag, but it’s very hard for the LGBTQIA+ community to feel welcome,” she admits.

The bar also provides valuable opportunities for local drag artists to earn a consistent income and grow their audience.

“It’s the only bar that is located in a high traffic area that exposes drag on a weekly basis,” Sally Cone Slopes adds. “It’s nice for queer artists to have a steady income to continue [to] grow our art. It truly means so much—especially as a person of color in Salt Lake—having a platform to speak and show others my culture through drag. It’s amazing and honestly healing!”

So, whether you go for the silent disco, the Saturday theme nights, the fish-bowl drinks, or just to see what it’s all about, there really is something for everyone at Why Kiki. Other notable recurring events on their calendar include Weekend Warmup trivia nights and Drag Race watch parties on Thursdays, Techno Taco Tuesdays featuring the Telepath Collective and the Ursula Major-hosted Sunday Brunch Box featuring their famous “Chicks ‘n Dicks” phallic take on chicken and waffles.

Their next Saturday Night Vibe is on Nov. 6, and they keep the spooky season spirit alive with a Day of the Dead theme. Keep up with all things Why Kiki at @whykikibar on Instagram, or at whykikibar.com. CW

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Eva Ayllón at Soundwell

It’s not every day that a Peruvian folk-music legend comes to SLC, but that’s the case this Thursday, Nov. 4. Eva Ayllón is celebrating 50 years of making the music that made her famous, and she’s spreading the joy of that auspicious anniversary to Soundwell, and any Salt Lake residents who want to be there to hear it. The Afro-Peruvian singer/composer has been a major contributor to the genres of música criolla and its more obscure cousin, landó, both types of Peruvian folk music that blend Spanish, African and indigenous Andean music traditions into a distinctly regional sound. Ayllón has spent her long career touring the world, playing at folk festivals and earning Latin Grammy nomination after nomination—and after never winning any of her 10 nominations, despite her fame and accomplishments, she was finally awarded the Latin Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 2019. With all this success, she hasn’t stopped creating, releasing a new album in 2021 called Quédate en Casa (“stay at home”). But for fans of Latin American folk music, or for anyone who just grew up listening to her, this is a night not to stay at home. Doors are at 7 p.m., the show is 21+ and tickets are $69 - $89 at soundwellslc. com.

Dr. Dog’s Last Tour at The Union

At the beginning of summer 2021, the popular indie band Dr. Dog announced that they were taking a break from touring—for good. It doesn’t come as a huge surprise, after some marooned musicians, stuck in an un-tourable pandemic, admitted that they didn’t miss touring, actually, citing reasons like the grueling schedule, not making enough money, not getting enough sleep and the generally unhealthy, stressful lifestyle. That noted, it’s not a shock that even a successful band like Dr. Dog—who’ve been on many tours since the early 2000s, and who’ve released 10 albums in that same time—are ready to put the whole thing to rest. They aren’t breaking up, a fact that’s evidenced by their recently-released cover of “Here Comes the Hotstepper,” and by their explicitly saying so upon dropping the news that this 2021 jaunt would be their “graceful exit from touring.” So, until some label cajoles them into performing a reunion show a decade from now at some venue in New York, this is fans’ last chance to see the band. They’ll be playing with opener TOTH at The Union Event Center on Saturday, Nov. 6. The show is all-ages, doors are at 7 p.m. and the show is $26 at theunioneventcenter. com.

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Hamilton Leithauser and Kevin Morby at Metro Music Hall

Both contenders for the title of the 21st century’s Bob Dylan (no offense to the Dylan who’s still very much alive this century), Hamilton Leithauser and Kevin Morby have each built reputations for themselves within the indie-folk-Americana bunch. Leithauser first made his name as part of The Walkmen, and just kept going when his time with that band went on hiatus (you may have heard his 2016 track “A 1000 Times” a thousand times). In 2020, Leithauser released the album The Loves Of Your Life, a selfadmitted hodgepodge of stories woven and matched together, before releasing a song in 2021 written alongside Morby. Morby is just as rich a storyteller as Leithauser, and has in recent years, and through several albums, created a tapestry of his own folkleaning music. He, too, released a 2020 album (Sundowner), and in 2021 released a warm four-track demo version of the album.

The single track between the two, “Virginia Beach,” is an attempt to shake off the shadow of nearly two years of musical standstill, and one can hear the ode to unbeaten paths—and much more surely—when they stop into SLC together at Metro Music Hall on Saturday, Nov. 6. Jess Williamson—who put out a real break-out of an album in Sorceress last year—will open for the pair. Doors are at 7 p.m., the show is 21+ and tickets are $32 at metromusichall. com

OhGeesy at The Complex

In 2018, the rap group Shoreline Mafia gave us bouncefueled, sexy bops like “Bands,” and even recently released an album in 2020, Mafia Bidness. And though the group now seems to be defunct, one of their members is still worth watching, it seems. This year, 28-yearold Shoreline Mafia member OhGeesy released his own solo album GEEZYWORLD, a contemporary rap album for the young and hot masses to hear turned up loud at the club. Filled with the typical hallmarks of modern pop rap—braggadocio about sex, guns and drugs—the album impresses with slick, drippy, dark production that is for the most part pretty damn catchy, even if you’re not super savvy to the ins and outs of California rap’s specificity. Standouts on the album include the soft and intimate “Keeper,” the YG-featured “Big Bad Wolf,” and those who show out to OhGeesy’s stop at The Complex on his Geezyworld Tour will be treated to the live treatment of the rest of what the debut has to offer. DJ Vision, Lul Bob and Hawaii Slim will open. The show is all-ages, opens at 7 p.m. and tickets are $24.50 at thecomplexslc.com.

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One of rap’s new darlings is Jack Harlow, the young superstar who found himself in a dreamlike rise to fame early on in his life, going from playing around his hometown in Louisville, Ky. to festivals like Bonnaroo and South by Southwest pretty much right out of the gate after he graduated high school. It’s not surprising that that’s when he started gaining popularity, though; his first release in 2016 was the album 18, but Harlow had been developing his rap craft since he was 12. In 2017, he released another album, Gazebo, finding more fame with the viral track and video “Dark Knight,” which led to his signing to the Atlantic Records imprint GenerationNOW and releasing a 2018 mixtape with them, Loose. Since that win, he’s kept up on the back-to-back yearly releases, with Confetti in 2019 and with the seven-track Sweet Action in 2020 and another that year in That’s What They All Say. Leaning into trap themes, R&B and, as time goes on, more and more melody, songs like the viral “WHATS POPPIN” from Sweet Action sum up Harlow’s approach to rap well: “got a career and I’m very invested / some people call it a scary obsession / I like to call it a passion.” See him at The Depot on Tuesday, Nov. 9 at 7:30 p.m. with openers Babyface Ray and MAVI. The show is all-ages and tickets are $132 - $481 at thedepotslc.com.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes.

Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Are you still hoping to heal from psychological wounds that you rarely speak about? May I suggest that you consider speaking about them in the coming weeks? Not to just anyone and everyone, of course, but rather to allies who might be able to help you generate at least a partial remedy. The moment is ripe, in my opinion. Now is a favorable time for you to become actively involved in seeking cures, fixes, and solace. Life will be more responsive than usual to such efforts.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) According to an Apache proverb, “It is better to have less thunder in the mouth and more lightning in the hand.” If you act on that counsel in the coming weeks, you will succeed in doing what needs to be done. There is only one potential downfall you could be susceptible to, in my view, and that is talking and thinking too much about the matter you want to accomplish before you actually take action to accomplish it. All the power you need will arise as you resolutely wield the lightning in your hands.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) “The delights of self-discovery are always available,” writes author Gail Sheehy. I will add that those delights will be extra accessible for you in the coming weeks. In my view, you’re in a phase of super-learning about yourself. You will attract help and support if you passionately explore mysteries and riddles that have eluded your understanding. Have fun surprising and entertaining yourself, Taurus. Make it your goal to catch a new glimpse of your hidden depths every day.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) To encourage young people to come to its shows, the English National Opera has offered a lot of cheap tickets. Here’s another incentive: Actors sing in English, not Italian or French or German. Maybe most enticing for audiences is that they are encouraged to boo the villains. The intention is to make attendees feel relaxed and free to express themselves. I’m pleased to give you Scorpios permission to boo the bad guys in your life during the coming weeks. In fact, I will love it if you are extra eloquent and energetic about articulating all your true feelings.

In my view, now is prime time for you to show the world exactly who you are.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Gemini novelist and philosopher Muriel Barbery says, “I find this a fascinating phenomenon: the ability we have to manipulate ourselves so that the foundation of our beliefs is never shaken.” In the coming weeks, I hope you will overcome any tendency you might have to manipulate yourself in such a way. In my view, it’s crucial for your mental and spiritual health that you at least question your belief system, and perhaps even risk shaking its foundation. Don’t worry: Even if doing so ushers in a period of uncertainty, you’ll be much stronger for it in the long run. More robust and complete beliefs will be available for you to embrace.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “If we’re not careful, we are apt to grant ultimate value to something we’ve just made up in our heads,” said Zen priest Kosho Uchiyama. In my view, that’s a problem all of us should always be alert for. As I survey my own past, I’m embarrassed and amused as I remember the countless times I committed this faux pas. For instance, during one eight-month period, I inexplicably devoted myself to courting a woman who had zero interest in a romantic relationship with me. I bring this to your attention, Sagittarius, because I’m concerned that right now, you’re more susceptible CANCER (June 21-July 22) In her book Mathilda, novelist Mary Shelley (1797-1851) has than usual to making this mistake. But since I’ve warned you, the main character ask, “What had I to love?” And the answer? maybe you’ll avoid it. I hope so!

“Oh, many things: there was the moonshine, and the bright stars; the breezes and the refreshing rains; there was the whole CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) earth and the sky that covers it.” I bring this to your attention Capricorn author Asha Sanaker writes, “There is a running joke in the hope of inspiring you to make your own tally of all the about us Capricorns that we age backwards. Having been born as wonders you love. I trust your inventory will be at least ten times burdened, cranky old people, we become lighter and more joyful as long as Mathilda’s. Now is a favorable time for you to gather as we age because we have gained so much practice in wielding all the healing that can come from feeling waves of gratitude, responsibility. And in this way we learn, over time, about what even adoration, for the people, animals, experiences, situations, are our proper burdens to carry and what are not. We develop and places that rouse your interest and affection and devotion. clear boundaries around how to hold our obligations with grace.”

Sanaker’s thoughts will serve as an excellent meditation for you in the coming weeks. You’re in a phase when you can make dramatic LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Our memories are always changing. Whenever we call up a spe- progress in embodying the skills she articulates. cific remembrance, it’s different from the last time we visited that same remembrance, colored by all the new memories we have AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) accumulated in the meantime. Over time, an event we recall from As author Denise Linn reminded us, “The way you treat yourself when we were nine years old has gone through a great deal of sends a very clear message to others about how they should shape-shifting in our memory so much so that it may have little treat you.” With that advice as your inspiration, I will ask you resemblance to the first time we remembered it. Is this a thing to deepen your devotion to self-care in the coming weeks. I will to be mourned or celebrated? Maybe some of both. Right now, encourage you to shower yourself with more tenderness and though, it’s to be celebrated. You have extra power to declare your generosity than you have ever done in your life. I will also urge independence from any memories that don’t make you feel good. you to make sure these efforts are apparent to everyone in your life. I am hoping for you to accomplish a permanent upgrade in Why hold onto them if you can’t even be sure they’re accurate? your love for yourself, which should lead to a similar upgrade in the kindness you receive from others.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) In 1962, astronaut John Glenn became the first American to orbit the Earth in a spacecraft. His flight marked the first time PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) that NASA, the agency in charge of spaceflight, had ever used You have at your disposal a prodigiously potent creative tool: electronic computers. Glenn, who was also an engineer, wanted your imagination. If there’s a specific experience or object you the very best person to verify the calculations, and that was want to bring into your world, the first thing you do is visualize Virgo mathematician Katherine Johnson. In fact, Glenn said it. The practical actions you take to live the life you want to he wouldn’t fly without her involvement. I bring this to your live always refer back to the scenes in your mind’s eye. And so attention, Virgo, because I believe the coming months will every goal you fulfill, every quest you carry out, every liberation be a favorable time for you to garner the kind of respect and you achieve, begins as an inner vision. Your imagination is the recognition that Katherine Johnson got from John Glenn. Make engine of your destiny. It’s the catalyst with which you design sure everyone who needs to know, does indeed know about your your future. I bring these ideas to your attention, dear Pisces, because November is Celebrate Your Imagination Month. aptitudes and skills.

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EITHER OR

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

1. Soak up 2. Native Arizonan 3. Grunted like a pig 4. Sound from an overheated car 5. Take sides?

6. Composer Stravinsky 7. Word with family or flush 8. A ____ (based on logic)

G

Supply Chain Hell

9. Make a pit stop, say 10. Protestant denom.

11. Stan Lee appearance, often 12. “God ____ Woman” (Ariana Grande hit) 13. Dump 18. Santa ____ (Arizona mountains) 22. Nutritional guideline, in brief 24. What “w/” means 25. Speak from a podium, say 26. Chanel rival 27. Foxy 29. Tract of land 33. “____ the ramparts ... “ 34. Ship’s window 35. GoFundMe contributor 36. Nursing is a key component of it 37. Warrior princess played by Lucy Lawless 38. “That was close!”

39. Place to apply ChapStick 40. Solstice mo.

43. Type of salad 44. Where Socrates lived 45. Lilliputian 47. Come out of hiding 48. Prevail

49. Backs of yachts 51. Food brand named for two neighboring states 52. They go with potatoes in soup 55. Sighed lament 56. Barnes & Noble’s NYSE symbol, aptly 57. Uncooked 59. Kind 60. Day when MLB’s All-Star Game is played each year: Abbr.

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

DOWN

URBAN L I V I N

WITH BABS DELAY Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Morning hrs.

4. Estate beneficiary 8. Brief summary 14. ____ vivant 15. “Othello” villain 16. Meal 17. Hemingway’s “A Clean, Well-Lighted Place,” e.g.

19. “Excuse me, but ...”

20. Musician known for working with a Hall of fame 21. Generate, as suspicion 23. KOA patron 24. They’re often broken at the Olympics 28. Bonnie of “Presumed Innocent” 30. Not feel so good 31. Lubricate 32. ____ voce (quietly) 34. Clever tactic 35. Animated TV character who is the daughter of Elena and Cole Márquez 40. “____ you’re told!”

41. Take another swing at 42. Photo lab request: Abbr.

43. Cornfield call 46. Ones who cry uncle?

50. It’s practiced by some John Grisham characters 53. Skip past 54. [Look what I got away with!]

55. Coeur d’____, Idaho 56. Prepare, as a pot roast 58. Choice words ... and what to look for when figuring out how to solve 17-, 24-, 35- and 50-Across 61. “The Big Chill” director 62. Longtime host of “Germany’s Next Topmodel” 63. Rev, as an engine 64. Says “@#%!”

65. ____-Ball (arcade game) 66. Uranians, e.g.

SUDOKU X

| COMMUNITY | | CITYWEEKLY.NET |

38 | NOVEMBER 4, 2021

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

Raise your hand if you’re about ready to slap the next person who says the words “supply chain issues.” Snow tires are stuck on container ships and may not arrive until after the Easter Bunny comes in 2022. Rumors abound week-to-week that we’re running out of toilet paper again, or that paper towels and yeast will be hard to find next month. Turkeys will cost 25 cents more per pound, and we may not have enough cranberry jelly to go around come Thanksgiving. Right now, you can walk into about any grocery store and see the spice shelves decimated and limits on bottled water purchases.

Related to shortages is the scary news that U.S. households will pay more to heat homes this winter. Federal officials from the Energy Information Administration report that fuel prices are rising, and demand will increase for at least half of the country’s natural gas users by an average of 30% more, adding that electric bills will go up 6%.

I’ve been selling some new-construction homes in Daybreak as of late. Builders are having trouble getting things like roofing shingles, sheet rock and faucets. One of the builders, Oakwood Homes, has a swell showroom by Fashion Place Mall. Once you pick out your lot and style of home at Daybreak, you get to the fun part of choosing flooring, paint colors, bathroom tile and kitchen backsplashes. They have one wall of a dozen kitchen faucets in a variety of colors and finishes. Sadly, only two of the choices are available now, and the others might not arrive for 6 to 12 months.

Looking for a washer/dryer or refrigerator? Be prepared to wait up to a year for the model you want, as there are fewer options and no deals to be had. You really need to hunt around. If the big box store doesn’t have your make and model, check for smaller, local appliance stores. The more bells and whistles an appliance has, the more chips are needed.

Chips are in short supply for everything!

Consider scratched or used-model appliances, but make sure the warranty passes on to you. When you buy a home, you might be able to negotiate for the seller to buy you a home warranty on the appliances in the home for a year. When something busts, you call the 1-800 number, and they send you a repair person who will fix your issue or get you a new item. Small note: if the washer is from the 1960s, the warranty company might only give you a few hundred bucks for a replacement—but it’s still better than getting nothing for a repair. If the seller doesn’t want to buy you a warranty, you can always buy one yourself. Home warranty companies are numerous.

More wisdom with appliances: If you must forgo getting new ones, take care of the ones you’ve got. Clean your dryer vents, dishwasher filters and refrigerator coils a few times each year. Then when the supply chain gets better links and the ports start operating normally, you can go out shopping for your dream freezer or top-loader washer. n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

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New World Order David and Paula Knight of Surrey, England, were confused when they opened a letter informing them of a traffic violation and fine that took place in June in Bath. The letter, which detailed a bus lane violation and included a photo of the offender, was generated by a traffic camera that captured a woman walking in a bus lane, wearing a shirt that said KNITTER. The Knights’ vehicle tag reads KNI9 TER, a reference to David’s nickname, Knighter.

“We thought one of our friends was stitching us up,” Paula told the BBC, but they finally contacted authorities to straighten out the incident. She said the staff member who looked at the photo “burst out laughing.” The fine was canceled, everyone involved got a giggle out of it, and the next time the Knights go to Bath, they may take the train.

False Alarm Fire officials in Santa Barbara County, California, received calls on Oct. 4 about a person hanging on the side of a cliff near Hope Ranch Beach, NBC New York reported. Emergency crews were dispatched with equipment including a drone and fire engines, but the “person” was just a mannequin with long hair.

Apparently, the mannequin had been used in a movie shoot a few days earlier, Daniel Bertucelli of Santa Barbara County said, reminding residents, “Better to call than not!”

Compelling Explanation Folks in Plouneventer, France, were perplexed on Oct. 11 when they woke up to find a van perched atop a bus stop shelter, Oddity Central reported. Police were summoned, the van was removed and the owner identified—but the mystery remained, with theories involving alcohol and performance art. Finally, three days later, the truth came out: The prank was part of a “commercial dispute” between the van’s owner and the perpetrator, who used a pallet truck to hoist the car onto the bus shelter. The latter may face charges of endangerment.

Mistaken Identity At a ceremony on Oct. 16 to award the annual Planeta literary prize in Spain, fans of author Carmen Mola were stunned to learn that the author is actually three male writers: Agustin Martinez, Jorge Diaz and Antonio Mercero, who were on hand to accept the award. Mola’s unpublished novel “The Beast” won 1 million euros with the prize. Mola had been described as a female university professor living in Madrid who uses a pseudonym, People.com reported, but after the reveal, Diaz said, “We are three friends who one day four years ago decided to combine our talent to tell a story.” Some have called the trio “scammers,” but Mercero argued, “We didn’t hide behind a woman, we hid behind a name.”

Anger Management, Halloween Edition A Pittsburgh grandmother was assaulted with a pumpkin on Oct. 20 after she parked in front of James Gazis’ home, WPXI-TV reported. The victim was picking up her grandson from a nearby home and parked in front of the Gazis property, where Gazis’ wife and children started yelling at her before James hurled the gourd at the car. When she lowered her window to say “’You’ve got to be kidding me,’ ... he took the second pumpkin, threw it (and) hit her in the face,” the victim’s son, James Moore, said. Moore and Gazis, 40, tussled; Gazis was charged with aggravated assault, and Moore is facing a simple assault charge.

Send your weird news items to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

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Odd Job The city council of Christchurch, New Zealand, has officially ended its contract with The Wizard of New Zealand (also known as Ian Brackenbury Channell) after 23 years of service. Over his tenure, the Wizard cast spells and entertained tourists to the tune of $16,000 per year, but the city no longer believes his services are necessary, Oddee.com reported. Officially, Christchurch’s “promotional landscape is changing,” said the council’s assistant chief executive Lynn McClelland, with “programs that will ... showcase a vibrant, diverse, modern city.” For his part, the Wizard called the council “a bunch of bureaucrats who have no imagination. I am the original image of Christchurch. They will have to kill me to stop me.”

Awesome!

ABC News reported on Oct. 20 that in Wellington, New Zealand, police went above and beyond for a certain emergency call. When a dispatcher answered the call, a little voice started out, “Hi. Police lady?” The 4-year-old then went on to say, “I’ve got some toys for you. Come over and see them.” Around then, an adult took the phone, confirming that it was not an emergency, but the dispatcher sent Constable Kurt over anyway. The little boy showed off his toys to the officer and had a “good, educational chat” about the use of the emergency number (111 in New Zealand). “He did have cool toys,” Constable Kurt confirmed.

He reciprocated by turning on his patrol car’s lights for the boy.

Oops!

During an Oct. 17 weather segment on KREM-TV in Spokane, Washington, viewers were stunned to see a 13-second clip of a woman’s bare behind on a display behind the meteorologist, Yahoo! News reported. Viewers began calling the Spokane police department, which is now working with the station to find out how the video made it to the broadcast. KREM-TV could face fines from the Federal Communications Commission for airing the shocking scene.

Picky, Picky Vojin Kusic, 72, of Srbac, Bosnia-Herzegovina, built a home for himself and his family many years ago. His wife, Ljubica, wanted the bedrooms to face the sun at the time, so the living room faced away from the road. In time, Ljubica became distressed that she couldn’t see visitors approaching the house, so Vojin remodeled it. Now, with their children grown, Vojin has constructed the home of Ljubica’s dreams: It rotates a full 360 degrees so she can turn it as she sees fit, the Associated Press reported. “Now, our front door also rotates, so if she spots unwanted guests heading our way, she can spin the house and make them turn away,” Vojin said.

Great Art Roughly 300 men and women volunteers gathered on Oct. 17 in the desert near the Israeli city of Arad, where they took off all their clothes and painted their bodies white for a project by photographer Spencer Tunick, the Associated Press reported.

For about three hours, they posed and repositioned themselves for Tunick as he shot photos to draw attention to the shrinking Dead Sea. “I am always happy to return here and photograph in the only country in the Middle East that allows art such as this,” Tunick said. Organizers hope the project will bring attention to preserving the Dead Sea, and Israeli tourist officials hope it will bring visitors to the country.

BY T HE EDITO R S AT A ND RE WS M cMEEL

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