City Weekly April 20, 2017 by Copperfield Publishing

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2017

Tater Tot Toe

C I T Y WE EKLY.NET A P R I L 20, 20 17 | VO L. 33 N 0. 5 0

Up Your Food Game!

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY IT’S EATIN’ TIME!

From bodacious burritos to tire shop grub, our 2017 Dining Guide has you covered. Cover illustration by Trent Call

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4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 14 A&E 19 CINEMA 53 TRUE TV 54 MUSIC 66 COMMUNITY

AMANDA ROCK

All over cover package Starting on p. 32, Rock rocks this issue giving readers her top picks for cheap eats, sinful cookies and killer tater tots. Her verdict on the latter? “I have to say I’m Team Fries because soggy tater tots are far too common. An unpopular opinion for sure; but I won’t suffer a soggy tot.”

Your online guide to more than 2,000 bars and restaurants • Up-to-the-minute articles and blogs at cityweekly.net

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Gov. Herbert signs civil liberties concurrent resolution. facebook.com/slcweekly

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COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

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Cover story, April 6, “Greetings from Magna”

While Magna does have its struggles, it would have been nice to have the article point out some of the things the community is doing to turn things around. Storm and Renee have been pivotal in bringing people from all over the country to Magna for their annual Halloween in Summer street fair. Our other two street fairs (History Day and Arts Festival) bring in people from all over the valley. Our Community theater (The Empress, pictured in the “M”) just celebrated their 10th anniversary—on Main Street. We have a vibrant Facebook community that puts people in need with resources (many times it’s a neighbor helping a neighbor). There is a spirit in this community that has been refined by the fire of our past, and we are determined that our future will be better. It’s not Midvale, it’s not Millcreek, but I wouldn’t live anywhere else in the valley.

CINDY WHITEHAIR Via Facebook

Our reputation may precede us, but it doesn’t define us. Our community knows how to band together and we are rising to the challenges we face. Hopefully, Salt Lake City Weekly will be doing a follow-up article that captures the growth and community spirit that thrives here.

SARA VANROOSENDAAL Via Facebook

It’s too bad Magna has such a negative reputation. Growing up here was great, and I never felt I was cheated out of a good education or opportunities for growth. When Kennecott downsized and many of the stores closed, it was rough on most of us. I keep hoping the little businesses that regularly start and fail will take root and succeed. Please, We Witches 3, do a good job with your prosperity spells!

BENTON CLARK Via Facebook

Why would that surprise anyone, given their proximity to Kennecott and U.S. Mag Works?

ED FERGUSON Via Facebook

I really disagree with the tone of this article and its hyperbolic emphasis on problems that are actually not unique to Magna at all. I wrote your editor with more detail, but I hope readers who see my comment may understand that the situation illustrated in this piece is not an accurate portrayal, and if you’d like to see the real Magna, please message me and I can show you the great township.

ROBERT YUEN Via Facebook

I was born in Magna 75 years ago. l lived there for 65 years. Served on the original redevelopment committee, town council and four years on the planning and zoning commission under Peter Corron. My wife with her volunteer friends built the Webster Pride garden. We are the original starters of the Copper Days Festival. I am in Magna at least 2-3 days per week working on my properties. Love the old town. My Greek family and my wife’s family have been there for just about 100 years. To read your article on Magna brought sadness, then anger. The shit you wrote about can be dug up in any area, even your own neighborhood. You talk about drugs, obesity, crime; pick an area in this county or state, and I can find the same crap. A good writer would have not tried to dig up the bad in a town but would have seen how well he could elevate the community. As far as the churches in Magna, did anyone tell you most of those properties were abandoned before these wonderful people like Billy Maez bought the places and started to fix them up? Now they’re show-pieces on ol’ Main. … The part [that says] some kids go to the library to get a free meal, and their only meal of the day? Bullshit! Those are the same kids who go to the museum to get free candy. And the part about the social services withdrawing from Magna, it’s because there wasn’t enough people using them. I went and asked.

Why didn’t you go down to the senior citizens center and talk to the old-timer? Why didn’t you go to the Magna Ethnic and Mining Museum? Talk to Mr. Henline or Mr. Duckworth, people who have lived most of their lives in Magna? Take a look around; look at their wall of honor, see gold medalist in the Olympics, admirals in the navy … Let’s not let this article be a coup de grâce to Magna and towns like her. Salt Lake County, in my years of being involved, is a big, big problem with its condition. Magna’s environmental fees for commercial enterprises are much higher than West Valley. That’s why they get the growth and Magna gets the shaft. We would be better off annexing to West Valley.

C I T Y W E E K LY . N E T

APRIL 6, 2017 | VOL. 33

N0. 48

Greetings from

LEWIS PANOPULOS

Long burdened by ill health and poverty, a westside community strives to turn the page.

Via cityweekly.net

By Stephen Dark

News, April 6, “A River Runs Through Him”

The Hatch Game

The Ocho, April 6, “Eight Utah ‘state works of art’ that deserve as much designation as the Spiral Jetty”

What do you call a senator who has been in Washington, D.C., for years? Home. That was the campaign slogan of a young Orrin Hatch 40 years ago. I believe now, more than ever, is the time Utah heeds this advice. Not that I believe he hasn’t served the state well. He has served us well at times, but at this point, his partisan aspirations are getting in the way of benefiting his constituents. My concern is he has always been a weather vane type of politician. But now he seems to be stuck to the hard right, agreeing with everything the Trump Administration and the far-right of his party wants him to do. As a congressman, his job is not to carry water for administrations he personally likes and agrees with, but to provide a balance to the extreme positions any administration puts out there and to pass laws that will improve our lives. He has failed to protect us from Trump so far, and it doesn’t look like he will. The signs are clear he will collude with them to pass an alt-right agenda. That will be bad for the American people and it is up to us to stop him in 2018. He has lost touch with his constituents and the majority of the American people. We need to say enough is enough. Time to pack up the office and call it a career, Orrin.

ROGER W KNOX

West Jordan

“What we proposed was take the core golf course and make a large nature park with a community fishery, and then around the perimeter do some of the things that the public has identified that they want, like a bike pump track, an urban agriculture area of 9 acres, a Frisbee golf course, a boat dock for sculling, etc.,” he says. Well, Ralph Becker redux. It turns out that what the people want is a profitable golf course and not to spend $200 million to turn two golf courses into homeless encampments. Why do all of Wheeler’s plans have to involve closing Glendale and Rose Park golf courses? Why can they not coexist in his world view?

SUSAN WILLARDSON Via Facebook

Opinion, April 6, “Panhandling”

Very thoughtful article on panhandling this week. No easy answers, but it’s an important conversation to have.

@SIGNATURESMITH Via Twitter

The Spiral rocks. ✔ A fave. Via Facebook

LEE C. THATCHER,

STAFF Publisher JOHN SALTAS Editorial

Editor ENRIQUE LIMÓN Arts &Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Senior Staff Writer STEPHEN DARK Staff Writer DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS Copy Editor ANDREA HARVEY Proofers SARAH ARNOFF, LANCE GUDMUNDSEN

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STAFF BOX

OPINION

Food Choices

There are three points of view regarding food. I have a couple of friends who consider food a critical lifestyle, consistent with what kind of house to live in or what car to drive or where to ski. Many of my friends take great joy in fine dining at restaurants and at home. In some respects, it appears like they live, in part, to eat. My wife, on the other hand, has been accused of having a Paleolithic philosophy that food is a nuisance to be endured in order to, well, endure. That might not be fair, but, she does appear to eat only to live. I’ve pondered if she could live till the end of time, she’d subsist on nothing more than peanut butter and bananas or cheese on pita or just oatmeal with a few raisins. In between these poles are folks like me, for whom the proverbial see-food diet was described, as in “I see food and I eat it.” I truly do appreciate fine cooking, but I am perfectly happy to eat at a roadside diner with lots of semi-tractor trailer rigs parked outside. Thinking back many decades to Army mess halls, I can’t recall ever being disappointed. Way before then, when I was in grade school, my father was both a veteran and a long-haul trucker who took me on the road during school summer vacations. The popular truck stop cuisine du jour was meatloaf and mashed potatoes in brown gravy, RC Cola to wash it down, followed by coconut custard pie. High calories, salt, sugar and fat were the way of the open road. Back home in Brooklyn, N.Y., I grew up as a second-generation American. My grandparents were naturalized American citizens from former middle European countries that were merged through a series of, shall we say, hostile takeovers. Every holiday season, my grandmother would make great-tasting, lavish dinners with the nutritional equivalent of those truck stops. We had chicken soup and matzo balls cooked with duck fat. We had rendered chicken fat and browned onions instead of butter to spread on potatoes and bread

B Y S TA N R O S E N Z W E I G

in observance of kosher traditions. We had heavy dinners of braised beef. For Rosh Hashanah, we ate tzimmes, a baked concoction of sweet potatoes, carrots, prunes, stew beef, pineapple juice and sugar. Jewish comedian Buddy Hackett was a contemporary of Don Rickles and would be well known today if he hadn’t died in 2003. Like Rickels, Hackett was a regular on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show, where he liked to tell a favorite food story of going on sick call when he was in Army basic training. “I think I am dying,” he recalled telling the doctor. “Why do you feel that?” the doctor asked. “I can’t feel my heart. It’s like the fire has gone out within my chest,” Hackett responded. After an exam, the doctor would conclude, “You’re not sick. It’s just that you are now eating Army food instead of Jewish food and you no longer have heartburn.” That story doesn’t only apply to Jewish cooking, but to most of us. A majority of folks were raised on the kind of foods that have made heartburn and acid reflux two of the more common ailments affecting close to 60 million people in the U.S. Like many of you, I continue to suffer a love/hate relationship with food that’s not always good for me. So much so that I have come to empathize with alcoholics, drug addicts and a particular friend of mine who hated the opioids that he was prescribed after surgery, because then had to combat bouts of nausea to ween himself off of those prescription painkillers to get back to ordinary life. Many of my friends are in the travelthe-world-for-dining-experiences phase of life. “We ate at this wonderful café in Lisbon”; “What a surprise to find four-star dining in London … London!”; “The local offerings in Nairobi were life changing,” etc.

This gluttonous gloating about the joys of recent dinner samplings from around the world by my returning traveler friends appears to have replaced what travelers used to subject everyone to when they came home from overseas: Hours-long slide shows of museums and overexposed shots of the Eiffel Tower and Big Ben. Those were dinner parties to be fearful of. For me, I prefer to dine locally. Traveling the world, just to brag that I was fed ethnic foods I can find right here in our extensive Salt Lake City melting pot—well, it doesn’t make me feel good. I resist travel magazines, Anthony Bourdain-style T V, social-media sites and friends who champion such travel, all with the caveat to bring larger pants for the trip home. Not for me. Besides, I don’t want to risk losing a couple of teeth, being dragged, kicking and screaming, from my United Airlines seat, which many of my friends believe is exactly what would have happened if I had been the one asked to vacate that double-booked seat, instead of Dr. David Dao. Just saying. In SLC, I am provided all the indulging opportunities I need. These days, my wife and I have come to a sustainable compromise regarding glutton-style entertainment. We now comb through ads in this weekly to find wonderful places to try that would appeal to our more sophisticated friends. We have learned to embrace and enjoy many happy nights of eating and drinking with them and, yes, it really has become a lot of fun, without getting on a plane. Joyfully, we have moved on from oatmeal, peanut butter and coconut custard pie. CW

I CONTINUE TO SUFFER A LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD THAT’S NOT ALWAYS GOOD FOR ME.

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

What’s your SLC foodie guilty pleasure? Scott Renshaw: I’m never guilty about enjoying great food, but sit me in front of a box of Ruby Snap cookies and it’s not a side of me I’d want the rest of the world to see.

Jeremiah Smith: I don’t feel in any way guilty about it, but Buffalo Tigers from the Vertical Diner are my favorite treat.

Sarah Arnoff: I don’t typically eat large portions, but I can down baskets of chicken wings at Trolley Wing Co.

Brian Plummer: Johnniebeefs Italian Beef. I lived in Chicago a bit, and let me tell you, his beefs are on point. Get it hot; get it wet. David Miller: To be entirely honest, as a-21 year-old with a high metabolism, I can’t say I really associate food with guilt. With no consequences—yet—there’s no reason to feel guilty. That being said, I still try to eat responsibly. So, when I break down and get myself a late-night Big Mac, I do feel a little bad about it.

Randy Harward: I like to mix Del Taco’s chocolate chip cookies into a chocolate frosty from Wendy’s. A layer of Cocoa Pebbles over a bowl of Fruity Pebbles is also good. And turtle brownies go great with seven-layer dip. But I’m not ashamed of any of this deliciousness.

Josh Scheuerman: Balkan cuisine from family recipes originating from Bosnia and Herzegovina made fresh by hand daily at Café on Main. It’s what home cooking should taste like. Greet them with a “zdravo!” or hello in Bosnian when you enter, and enjoy a homecooked lunch or dinner.

Nicole Enright: Blue Iguana chimichangas. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

So much fried cheese and margaritas.

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“[T]omorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today,” goes a famous and oft-misquoted Malcolm X saying. There’s an immediacy to that. Just ask the coal industry. If you read the Deseret News or watch KSL, things don’t look good for coal, despite at least one man’s chutzpah in opening a new coal mine in Emery County. Yes, there’s the Trump administration’s message that it’s all good. And then there’s the reality that Utah coal production in 2015 was about half of what it was in 2001. Fracking, cheap natural gas and clean-air campaigns— not to mention lawsuits—are pushing alternative energy. You can talk about the rest of the world, but even China is focusing on the air. The state has a long and unhealthy history with bad air. According to a Utah Political Capitol story, farmers didn’t like it back in the 1860s when nothing could be done. Now it can. It’s time to prepare.

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Despite the governmental pushback, alternative energy in Utah is a growing concern—concern because of Rocky Mountain Power’s continued attempts to sideline the industry. A KUER report notes that the number of rooftop solar panels doubles every year. The ProvoOrem area is now in the nation’s top 25 list of solar-industry job creators. The Solar Foundation says last year, Utah had 4,408 solar-industry jobs—more than 1,700 of them new. Oh, but coal. Utah is one of only a few states that gets more than two-thirds of its energy from coal, a KSL report says. And influential lobbyists like those from the Utah Mining Association forewarn of doom if the coal industry dies. And yet, the air is the real killer.

A Good Man?

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You might have heard this before: “He is a good man.” It’s a byproduct of the Utah culture, which emphasizes forgiveness sometimes at the cost of truth. This is the story of Fourth District Judge Thomas Low, who somehow thought it appropriate to praise a former LDS bishop convicted of sex abuse. The offender’s brother even compared him to Jesus. Low, according to The Salt Lake Tribune, became emotional both as he addressed the assailant and the victim, although his words had the effect of casting the assailant as a victim himself. Last year, only one of 90 judges faced voters with a bad recommendation, and most judges are retained by a near-80-percent margin. So don’t forget Low. Voters can send him packing—if they pay attention.

Alison Einerson has been director of the Downtown Farmers Market at Pioneer Park since 2012. We asked her for some of her perspectives on how the year-round gathering fits into the local dining scene.

What is the most significant change or evolution you’ve seen in the Farmers Market over the past several years?

It really has become the place to see what is happening in the food world—what the trends are going to be. It’s still about farmers and it’s still about agriculture. But it’s really a lot more about where the food world is trending, and what people who are fascinated about the culinary world are looking to do next. It might be new, interesting vegetables or heirloom vegetables that people are just re-discovering or ginger beer or kombucha or fermented foods, which is very big right now.

How do you think the Farmers Market fits into the growth of “foodie culture” in Salt Lake City?

We are ground zero for what is new and interesting. We have buyers from Harmons and Whole Foods coming to see what’s next. And we’re very proud of our ability to cultivate even ideas like fermenting that are thousands of years old, but with interesting twists [and] ways for Jane and Joe to want to buy them.

Are you aware of local chefs/restaurants finding their ingredients at the Farmers Market?

Yes, absolutely. A lot of them. On any given Saturday, you’ll see Jerry Leidtke from Tin Angel traipsing through the park; of course, his restaurant is right there. You’ll see them all, and we invite them to do demos and teach classes.

What are some of the ways that the Farmers Market helps educate visitors about what’s happening in the food world?

We have demos and events at the market and throughout the year, such as our “Power of Produce” program for kids. Kids of all ages can stop by the P.O.P. booth and complete an produce-based activity, such as a coloring page or a tasting, and then they get free P.O.P. bucks (worth $2 each) to go buy fresh produce from a farmer. They can buy whatever they want, from berries to carrots and so on. We also host “Taste the Market” events at our Education Station, where patrons can sample products from around the market in one convenient place. We are a founding partner of Utah Eat Local Week, which educates people about the importance of eating locally year-round and teaches people about the bounty of food grown, raised and produced in [the state].

When you’re walking around a farmers market yourself, what can you not resist picking up?

It depends on the season. If it’s the first of spring, I’m doing cheese. The breads, because there are so many great bread vendors. Definitely noodles. All the prepared foods, because you only get to enjoy it during the summer. —SCOTT RENSHAW srenshaw@cityweekly.net

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People always point out that Americans pay 2.5 times more per capita for health care compared to Europe and receive much poorer results. But isn’t everything in Europe—gasoline, housing, food, taxes more expensive than in the U.S.? If this is true, then how could health care be so inexpensive? —Pearl-Clutching Provocateur Priorities, Pearl, priorities. European governments slap heavy taxes on gas, for instance, but they’ve made sure to contain health care costs. In the U.S. we’ve done the opposite: Mexico excepted, our gas tax is by far the lowest in the industrialized world, but health care costs are largely entrusted to market forces. American insurers are corporations seeking profits, which raises prices, requiring government to step in and cover excessive costs, and this steady flow of state money in turn allows insurers to raise prices even further. In the end, our healthinsurance system doesn’t look too different from what you’d get if you’d set out to design one as expensive as you could manage. Look at administrative costs. Twenty-five percent of hospital spending in the U.S. goes to administration, compared to just 12 percent in (e.g.) Scotland. Why? The Scots use a single-payer insurance system (you know— the kind we’re not allowed to have), wherein the hospital simply sends a bill to the government and gets reimbursed. In the U.S. there are multiple payers: private insurance companies, government insurance plans and patients. Sorting through this crowd to determine who’ll pay for what is a full-time job—many, many full-time jobs, in fact. And insurance companies need to cover their expenses and make a little profit themselves. So do pharmaceutical companies, which brings us to a more headline-grabbing cause: high drug costs. We all remember the outcry when Mylan marked up its EpiPen by 400 percent, but that was merely an extreme example of the rational-capitalist behavior drug firms engage in all the time. When your product can literally save a life, and you’ve got a 20-year patent monopoly on it, you’ll tend to price it like the goldmine it is—unless someone steps in to regulate you. And European nations do. The UK’s National Health Service, like other Euro programs, negotiates pricing with drug companies to limit markup. By contrast, Medicare, the biggest drug customer in the U.S, is legally barred from such negotiation, and it reimburses doctors more when they prescribe more expensive meds. Meanwhile, companies maintain their monopolies by tweaking drugs’ nontherapeutic aspects to extend the patent. And even when generic alternatives exist, laws in 26 states require patient consent for pharmacists to make a substitution, meaning that prescriptions needlessly get filled with pricey name-brand drugs instead; as a result, a 2016 Harvard report found, Medicaid shelled out an extra $19.8 million in 2006 for the cholesterol drug Zocor alone. The pharmaceutical industry can’t just

BY CECIL ADAMS

SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Costly Care

shrug and say, “Well, capitalism,” without inflaming popular opinion, so it defends high prices by pointing to R & D costs: Somebody’s got to invent these new wonder drugs, they say, and that process ain’t cheap. Thing is, the pharma companies aren’t bearing these costs all by themselves—especially in the early stages of drug development, a lot of the key work might get done at the National Institutes of Health or in university labs. The actual cost of drug research is hard to pin down, partly because pharmaceutical companies are so secretive about their accounting. A 2014 study from a pharma-backed organization priced the per-drug development cost at $2.6 billion, but independent research has it as low as $161 million. Doctors are more expensive in the U.S., too. A stateside physician might earn effectively three times what her German peers do; on the other hand, she’s probably paying off debt, whereas in Germany, a medical education is basically free. Again: priorities. Physicians’ groups also blame our litigious society, which they say leads doctors to practice defensive medicine—guarding against malpractice claims by ordering excessive testing and procedures. It’s tough to say how much these tendencies cost us, as doctors have widely varying ideas about what’s necessary treatment and what’s ass-covering: A 2010 Harvard study put the annual impact of defensive medicine in the U.S. at $45.5 billion; a big health care staffing company used data from a Gallup survey of doctors to come up with a figure seven times higher. Whether fear of malpractice suits motivates our docs or not, we certainly do get more care than our European counterparts: three times as many mammograms, 2.5 times as many MRIs, about 30 percent more C-sections. But the benefit of that extra care is hard to gauge. For instance, Pennsylvania, which has roughly the same population as Ontario, has about six times as many hospitals where patients can receive openheart surgery. Here’s the thing, though: The fact that this treatment is more readily available means U.S. patients (insured ones, anyway) who might not need it go under the knife just to be safe; meanwhile, life expectancy after a heart attack is about the same in both Ontario and Pennsylvania. Still, would you or I pass up a potentially life-saving operation based on that statistic? Probably not—and there’s another part of what’s keeping our costs so high. n

Send questions via straightdope.com or write to c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

THE

OCHO

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@Bill _ Frost

Eight ways to celebrate Earth Day 2017:

8. Mix up a vat of Grasshopper 7. Adopt a Utah prairie dog— they’re delicious.

onstage around noon at Southern X-Posure.

5. Ride a bike, but only after

legally requesting your body to be composted after you’re run down by a car.

4. Become a vegan for 24 Natty Light and motor oil in reusable grocery bags.

2. Stage concurrent Celestial, 1. Recycle: The above entry is from a 2008 Ocho.

REAL WOMEN RUN

You have a choice: stay at home, bake more bread and clean the kitchen—or run for office. Utah started out right. In 1896, Martha Hughes Cannon became the first woman in the nation elected to serve as a state senator. Women are still politically active. Slightly more women than men vote in Utah, but so few take up the banner of candidacy. No women serve in statewide executive offices—because none were nominated in 2016. Change the course now at the Real Women Run Spring Training. Learn about messaging and the media, research, demographics and the all-important fundraising aspect of running for office. Thomas S. Monson Center, 411 E. South Temple, Saturday, April 22, 8:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., $15 (includes lunch), bit.ly/2ouMczg

Q-TALKS

If you thought the world was coming to terms with the LGBTQ community, you might want to look at what the Trump administration has in mind. Equality Utah’s Q-Talks is at fast-paced one-hour lecture with four people teaching 15-minute segments. You can learn the latest on trans activism, get legislative updates from the Utah statehouse and hear about queer history and reproductive justice from instructors Lucas Fowler, Connell O’Donovan, Clifford Rosky and Liz Owens. Salt Lake City Public Library, 210 E. 400 South, Wednesday, April 26, 7-8 p.m., free, bit.ly/2ouJ46N

STAND AGAINST RACISM

Attend a panel discussion about the theme “Women of Color Who Inspired or Influenced You.” Y WCA Utah, 322 E. 300 South, Thursday, April 27, 7-8:30 p.m., free, bit.ly/2pB7j2u

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

APRIL 20, 2017 | 11

Terrestrial and Telestial Day celebrations.

We’re learning what “winning” is like in America and apparently it’s a loss for science. If you believe in the worth of scientific exploration, then join this international movement in support of science. Utah is participating in the massive March for Science demonstration, which includes at least 100 scientific organizations concerned about the future of science under the Trump administration. Marches are set for Washington, D.C., and 400 other locations. This is a nonpartisan event to urge elected leaders to remember the role science plays in our society and to support scientific innovation. City Creek Park, 125 Frankford Ave., Saturday, April 22, 3-6 p.m., free, bit.ly/2piiSfx; bit.ly/2pi3rnw

| CITY WEEKLY |

3. Carry your American Spirits,

MARCH FOR SCIENCE

hours; tell anyone who’ll listen “I’m a vegan!” every 10 minutes.

CHANGE THE WORLD

6. Pay tribute to Gaia. She’s

In a week, you can

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

cocktails. Consume for 24 hours. Wake up in time for Cinco de Mayo.

CITIZEN REVOLT

Keep on Truckin’

With lawmakers dropping regulations, state food truck industry motors on. BY DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS dwharris@cityweekly.net @DylantheHarris

emember when Marco Gutierrez, founder of Latinos for Trump, went on MSNBC and warned that in Hillary Clinton’s America, cities would be inundated with taco trucks on every corner? The internet does. The comment ignited a celebratory meme-storm, poking fun at Gutierrez’ attempt to scaremonger voters by demonizing food venders. The irony is that his dire warning sounded pretty swell to the local web contingent. Who, after all, doesn’t like taco trucks? Perhaps Gutierrez. Or maybe he just doesn’t keep abreast of culinary trends. Food trucks offer easy access to delicious cuisine at great prices—undoubtedly the reason the industry has seen a rapid rise in Utah. Taylor Harris, owner and general manager of the Food Truck League, says the coalition grew from about 30 members to more than 100 in less than two years. The league helps organize regular food gatherings, where several establishments meet in a public space and offer their fare. Every night of the week, there’s a food truck rendezvous somewhere along the Wasatch Front. “We focus on bringing great food and community together,” Harris says. “There is a small business aspect where you get to eat something different and creative, and there’s a community aspect. We partner with cities and partner with neighborhoods to bring food into family-friendly spaces where everyone can get something that they want. It’s a good time.” From 11 a.m.-2 p.m. on Thursdays, for example, a fleet of food trucks sets up for lunch on Gallivan Avenue in downtown Salt Lake City. From Provo to Ogden and most stops in between, food truck outings are becoming a staple summer night dining option. Food trucks are so ubiquitous that they were even parked near the front steps of the Utah Capitol one afternoon during a recent legislative session. But, while they dished up lunch, the businesses actually were there to rally be-

FO O D R EG U L AT I O N hind Senate Bill 250. Sen. Deidre Henderson, R-Spanish Fork, sponsored a bill to cut away regulatory red tape that has hampered the industry. The nature of the business is that the food comes to a place near you. But in doing so, the trucks cross into new jurisdictions, which have their own set of rules. Described as a “patchwork of regulations,” these could include fees levied per day, quarterly or annually. Before the bill, one city might have enforced a fee per location while another did not. And some cities charged land use fees on top of business-license fees. Most cities required their own health and safety inspections, ensuring that the licensee would have to get signed off in each new city. “These regulations varied so much from city to city,” Henderson says. And trying to comply, she added, they become burdensome, expensive and hard to anticipate. The bill passed through the Legislature with scant opposition—Rep. Todd Weiler, R-Woods Cross, joked during a committee hearing that he needed a waffle to fully understand the issue— and was signed into law by Gov. Gary Herbert on March 20. “We and the entire food-truck industry [of] over 100 trucks ... is appreciative and grateful,” Harris says. “Everyone worked to find common grounds. It’s a good solution for the public, the cities, organizers, the trucks.” The new law asked that jurisdictions reciprocate duplicative inspections. Food trucks still are required to obtain business licenses in each municipality in which they sell meals, but licensing fees cannot be prohibitive. Cities will continue to regulate land use, as well. This will ensure that a food truck can’t park on the curb in front of an established restaurant, blocking traffic or signage, unless the city or property owner allows it. This was one of the concerns by restaurateurs that was addressed at a meeting early in the process, Henderson notes. Representatives from the League of Cities and Towns, the Utah Fire Prevention Board and Libertas Institute all testified in favor of the bill. Ted Black, chief deputy state fire marshal, said the measure would “set a common standard for fire safety in these facilities.” With a streamlined permitting process, cities will also no longer be able to insist food-truck operators undergo background checks. Harris says members who had prior records, who paid their debt to society, were having trouble finding work and rehabilitating their lives because some cities demanded to know their criminal histories—a

ANNIE KNOX

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12 | APRIL 20, 2017

NEWS

Daysha Felipe, owner of The Salty Pineapple, was among those present on the Hill in February, when SB 250 was introduced. hurdle that is not mandated at brickand-mortar restaurants. Under the revised law, a food truck is distinct from an ice-cream truck, which travels through neighborhoods, often beckoning children by blaring a tune through a loudspeaker. “A background check will continue to be required for ice-cream trucks which travel to people’s homes,” Harris says. “But people come to food trucks.” The Other Side Academy is a nonprofit that helps get folks back on their feet after they’ve been in trouble with the law or if they’ve decided their current lifestyle will inevitably lead to legal issues. Tim Stay, CEO of Other Side Academy, says one way to help with rehabilitation is to teach clients vocational skills, through an academysponsored moving company and a food truck called the Promise Land Food Truck. (Stay says the Other Side is rebranding the operation to be the Other Side Food Truck.) “Many of our students have never held a long-term job, and developed

anti-social behaviors,” he says. And the food truck, which offers sweet or savory funnel cakes, helps them establish routine practices that would be expected on a jobsite, like, “How to come back from break, come back from lunch, take orders from a boss,” he says. “We want them to take pride in the work.” The Promise Land/Other Side food truck operates about five nights a week. To help find out where it or other food trucks will be on a given night, the Food Truck League has developed a free mobile application. When a restaurant can relocate as seamlessly as a food truck, Harris says one of the problems is that customers don’t know where a truck will be. The solution, according to Harris, is in the app. It’s no surprise that the Food Truck League would turn to innovative technology to support the industry. Harris still sees food trucks as an up-and-coming market, one to which the law books didn’t quite apply. “Frequently, when we have new industry or innovative business practice, old laws don’t fit,” he says. CW

NEWS “A Tailor of Skis”

BUSINESS

As the slopes close for the season, a crafter of custom skis prepares to make it through another summer. BY STEPHEN DARK sdark@cityweekly.net @stephenpdark

STEPHEN DARK

Todd Herilla with two of his custom ski models.

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APRIL 20, 2017 | 13

types of highly responsive skis. The recreational skis he wanted to make were those he didn’t see on the marketplace, ones focused on performance. He spent four years developing and fine-tuning three prototypes of custom skis, while bartending at night. In 2013, he opened 7even Skis, named after a border collie with a “7” stripe on her forehead. The first two years, he continued working the bar at night, and his business broke even, “but zero in my pocket,” he says. The winter before last he made a small profit and this year won’t have to rely on a second job to keep solvent. In the summer, he picks up some side-income grinding skis for a ski company. Herilla averages between selling 30-38 customized pairs of skis a year. Ranging around $900, they can be pricey, but that reflects the intimate hours of craftsmanship he devotes to working with his clients to get the exact response they’re looking for on local powder. He has no interest in a factory line. If he could build 100 or 150 each summer and sell them in the winter, that would do fine, he says. With the season over, Herilla and his Dutch-born wife are going on a vacation for a week. But the prospect of closing the doors after the first winter he finally made it into a fully fledged business still leaves him a little blue. “For us, it’s all about the wintertime,” Madsen says. Unlike ski shops that transition to bike or summer-activity stores come April, he and Herilla keep their fingers crossed for a good snow season, so they can build up capital, whether for reinvestment or if only to prepare for shorter skiing seasons. Madsen puts Herilla in the company of craftsmen and women who love what they do. “He’s truly a tailor of skis,” he says. CW

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

hen spring blossoms emerge in Salt Lake City, an ominous sense of closure enshrouds those who depend on the ski industry for their livelihood. “I’m not ready for winter to be over,” Todd Herilla says. He’s the owner and operator of four-year-old 7even Skis, a small cinderblock store just west of Main Street in South Salt Lake. “I’d be happy to do it year round,” the young-looking 45 year old says. After a hectic winter of seven day working-weeks from September until early April, grinding customers’ skis and handcrafting custom skis, he’s not ready for the lonely summer hours that lie ahead in a store that each winter morning typically echoes with the many voices of excited skiers. But it’s hardly gloom for the man who ventured into the cutthroat struggles of a niche, seasonally limited business. For the first time in seven years, “I can do this as my only job,” he says. Josh Madsen opened his Freeheel Life store a year after Herilla opened his shopcum-workshop. He’s only a few blocks further down West Temple. Madsen’s business is dedicated to telemark skiing, a form of skiing developed in Norway. Madsen argues that the growth of ski-industry conglomerates, coupled with the rise of the internet, might have killed off the specialty ski store, but now its time has come again. Herilla’s business, “is extremely unique,” Madsen says. “The ability he has to create custom skis for people is phenomenal. His are very well-built, durable and going to last you a long time.” A native of Pennsylvania who’s skied since age 3, Herilla grew up in ski shops. His teenage dream was to make the U.S. ski team. By the time he tore his knee in 1994, he already was feeling that at 24, “I had got close but not close enough” to race for his nation. A year later, he quit ski racing altogether. He ended up moving to Salt Lake City to be close to quality slopes, while working “real jobs,” which translated to selling cars and a five-year stint as a mortgage loan officer. After the real estate market crash of 2008, Herilla went back to his first love. He focused on two businesses—”tuning” skis or grinding, which remains the bulk of his income, and handcrafting three

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14 | APRIL 20, 2017

Art Behind the Zion Curtain The term “Zion Curtain” conjures up a few images for people who live here, like the secretive area in restaurants behind which adult beverages are mixed. Or, for old school SLC punkers, the classic KRCL radio show hosted by Raunch Records’ Brad Collins. In general, it represents the effects of living in what is virtually a theocracy. Modern West Fine Art’s new gallery exhibition examines local artists’ interpretations on the quirks associated with living in Utah. A dozen practitioners of a variety of media respond to the theme with often humorous as well as historically resonant images. Tom Judd’s “Frontier Life” (collage with oil on panel) melds settlers’ dominant domestic configuration of polygamy with sensuality. Dave Newman’s mixed-media piece “Utah In the Lime Lite, Starring Red Rock, Jello & Carrots” combines iconic red rocks with the gelatin dessert. Ben Steele’s mixed-media “The Man Behind the Zion Curtain” (pictured) is the show’s centerpiece, playing with images of Salt Lake’s downtown cityscape as well as Joseph Smith, the Oz-like man behind the curtain in the show’s title. The show is a refreshing change-up for a space that specializes in Southwestern art. “It presented an opportunity to challenge the artists to think outside of their typical subject matter,” MWFA gallery manager Shalee Cooper notes. “It’s always a great exercise to challenge artists to engage in a conversation they may not selectively speak to.” (Brian Staker) Art Behind the Zion Curtain @ Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-3553383, April 21-May 13, Tuesday-Saturday, 11 a.m.-6 p.m.; Gallery Stroll reception April 21, 6-8 p.m., free, modernwestfineart.com

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

FRIDAY 4/21

David Owen: Where the Water Goes In the arid American West, the Colorado River is life itself; without its nearly 1,500 miles of water, millions of people couldn’t live there, and billions of dollars in economic activity wouldn’t be possible. As a result, it’s one of the most carefully managed natural resources in the world—but still one of the least understood. New Yorker staff writer David Owen attempts to rectify that shortcoming with Where the Water Goes, a fascinating exploration of the past, present and future of the river. From its headwaters near the Continental Divide to a delta in Mexico that almost never sees water anymore, Owen travels to understand the competing interests of agriculture, municipal water systems and outdoor enthusiasts as growing populations and climate change continue to put a squeeze on the Colorado’s flow. Like the river itself, Owen’s story sprawls and meanders, addressing crucial pieces of history like John Wesley Powell’s explorations, and the construction of the Hoover Dam along with the complex network of legal agreements that dictate the rights to every drop of Colorado River water. But he also sets out to correct misconceptions, like the idea that Las Vegas’ desert oasis is the river’s primary villain, or that the simple suggestion of “use less water” is the answer to Western woes. Owen’s crisp journalism explores how, from the moment the Colorado River Compact was created in 1922 based on deeply flawed hydrological assumptions, nothing about making use of this mighty waterway has been easy. (Scott Renshaw) David Owen: Where the Water Goes: Life and Death Along the Colorado River @ Millcreek Library, 2266 E. Evergreen Ave., 801-943-4636, April 21, 7 p.m., free, slcolibrary.org

TODD ROSENBERG

RIVERHEAD BOOKS/PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

FRIDAY 4/21

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, APRIL 20-26, 2017

MACARENA HERNANDEZ

ESSENTIALS

the

SUNDAY 4/23

TUESDAY 4/25

Sebastian Maniscalco is the voice of today’s Everyman, a comedian who expresses fury and frustration over the absurdities often found in daily circumstances. With his routines, he creates a common and comedic bond that audiences easily relate to. Maniscalco maintains his stand-up is inspired by things everyone experiences, but he also proves a point. “The things I see when I leave the house constantly shock me,” he admits in an email interview with City Weekly. “The way people behave and the lack of etiquette they have are astounding. Is anyone embarrassed anymore?” Gleaning lessons learned from his Italian upbringing, Maniscalco clearly has no qualms about sharing those observations with his audiences. Although his commentary isn’t laced with profanity, his conviction is always evident. That’s regardless of whether the topic is gift giving at Italian weddings, overbearing TSA agents, using antifreeze on bologna to dispose of wildlife intruders or participating in Passover as an outside observor. Named Just for Laughs’ 2016 Stand-Up Comedian of the Year, Maniscalco recently unveiled his third Showtime special, Why Would You Do That? In addition, he boasts several feature-film appearances and a Friday night podcast, all of which provide a platform for the wit, wisdom and skepticism that speaks for so many alienated individuals. “When you’re working in an office, at your kids’ school, or in public, there are things you just can’t get away with saying,” Maniscalco says. “I embody all these things, and the stage is where I vent.” (Lee Zimmerman) Sebastian Maniscalco @ Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-355-2787, April 23, 8 p.m., $42.50-$64, artsaltlake.org

Award-winning author Sandra Cisneros was told throughout her childhood in a predominantly Puerto Rican Chicago neighborhood that there were certain expectations of women in her family—to be like the other women who “lay their necks on the threshold waiting for the ball and chain,” as she described through the narrator, Esperanza, in her book The House on Mango Street. Refusing to fit neatly into the stereotypical role her father and brothers had in mind, she attended Loyola University to pursue a degree in English. There, among her mostly white and privileged peers, Cisneros realized her differences were her strengths. Because of her life experiences, she could write for a group of people that no one ever wrote for. She realized that, as a Chicana, she could write for Chicanas, and make others aware of the experience. What makes her work stand out is her easyto-read bilingual style, simple narratives, and her examination of both Chicana and feminist identities. She shows readers how little they know about her culture, while simultaneously making them feel right at home. “Cisneros writes not simply of the Latino experience,” says Bob Goldberg, director of the University of Utah’s Tanner Center. “Her words reach to people of all communities and remind us of the human spirit that binds us together.” Her work extends far beyond her writing, as she often addresses social issues. Cisneros participates in a discussion hosted by KUER’s Doug Fabrizio about her work as both author and activist. There’s also a book signing hosted by The King’s English Bookshop and a live reading. (David Miller) Sandra Cisneros @ Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, April 25, 7:30 p.m., free, artsaltlake.org

Sebastian Maniscalco

Sandra Cisneros

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APRIL 20, 2017 | 15

check us first! low or no fees

upcoming shows devin the dude

of celebrating Utah art as deserving of global attention. BY ANDREA WALL comments@cityweekly.net

tues, april 25 | urban lounge

california guitar trio

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KATHRYN NELSON

A Contemporary We sell tickets! History CUAC ends a legacy

thurs, april 27 | the state room

king lil g

thurs, may 4 | the complex

e-40

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16 | APRIL 20, 2017

A&E

VISUAL ART

wed, may 10 | the depot

FOR MORE SHOWS & EVENTS GO TO

CITYWEEKLYTIX.COM

n Friday, April 21, after 13 eventful years, the Central Utah Art Center— better known as CUAC—will stage a gallery stroll and a closing party for both its current exhibition, Utah Ties, and the gallery itself. CUAC was a significant part of the Salt Lake City arts scene, a fact that’s apparent with a simple Facebook search, where dozens of people have been mourning its closing. CUAC began as a local low-budget art center in Ephraim, Utah—a space that showed local landscape paintings, had a small-town atmosphere, was struggling for revenue and was going to close without immediate intervention. That was when Adam Bateman, executive director of CUAC, stepped in. Bateman was originally from Ephraim, but had lived in New York for five years, and was told that if he did not take over the center, it was shutting its doors. In 2005, he decided to take it. His one stipulation was that things would change—and they did. Bateman transformed CUAC. He made it a fun place to visit, setting up the Party Bus, which brought people to the gallery from Provo and Salt Lake for $25, showing them video art and giving them free beers during the ride. He got rid of the landscapes and generic paintings, and brought contemporary art to Ephraim. After the center settled a lawsuit over allegations of censorship by the city of Ephraim, they realized they had to leave. They relocated to Salt Lake City in 2013, and began to build a following. Not only did the space bring in high-caliber artists like local Peter Everett and Brooklyn-based Drew Conrad to show concurrently, but such events reflected a central vision of CUAC: To give as much validity to the work of local artists as those from out of state. During an interview, Bateman mentioned that “Utah’s a funny place: We like all of our organizations to support Utah.” He went on to explain that in this need for exclusivity, many galleries have two spaces: The main gallery will be for a higherprofile out-of-town artist, and a side room will focus on local artists. This mentality places Utah artists on a different level than the main gallery artists, and physically separates their work. One of Bateman’s missions with CUAC

was to create equality between the out-ofstate and local artists. He wanted all the artists who came to the gallery to be on the same playing field—to be part of the global conversation. The gallery gave all of them the same promotional push, the same opportunities and displayed their work together, which created inclusivity and familiarity instead of an aura of otherness. This helped form a dialogue between local and out-of-state artists, allowing the pieces to represent the artists instead of their hometown. Some of the most personally impactful work that Bateman experienced during his time at CUAC was their substantial community outreach. From teaching workshops, to gallery exhibits, to working with universities, CUAC nurtured the development of many young and curious artists, and worked on several collaborative programs throughout the state. Among those projects, they worked with the Salt Lake Film Society to present rotating exhibits in the lobby space of the Broadway Centre Theatre. The center also worked with Weber State University, the University of Utah, BYU, Snow College, MOCA, UMFA and the Guthrie Artist Studios. For the past four years, CUAC sponsored free classes for preschool and elementary-age children at the Salt Lake City Public Library to provide new and exciting experiences with

CUAC’s Adam Bateman

art. Despite uncertainty over the future of funding, he says that the program in the library is expected to continue. One of the harsher realities about the closing is the fact that, as Bateman points out, “Mathematically, if every person who went into a CUAC show paid $5 once a year, [it] would still be open. CUAC was a significant part of our cultural fabric. If we value having things like a contemporary art gallery, an independent film center, we have to pay the $5 a year to keep it going. It makes our lives better.” As for the future, Bateman wants to take a couple of months to evaluate what’s next. He’s considering pursuing his own art, or running another nonprofit. In the meantime, he plans to spend May hiking and camping in the desert, and says, “We’ll see where it takes me.” The closing party reception begins at 6 p.m. and goes until, Bateman says, “we are all tired of it.” CW

CUAC CLOSING PARTY

175 E. 200 South Friday, April 21 6 p.m. cuartcenter.org

moreESSENTIALS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Joseph Cipro explores the beginning and growth of the universe through oil and watercolor paintings (“Not Yet” is pictured) in the exhibition Cosmic Musings at Gallery 814 (814 E. 100 South, 801533-0204), from April 21-July 31.

PERFORMANCE THEATER

DANCE

Shen Yun George S. and Dolores Doré Eccles Theater, 131 Main, 801-355-2787, April 25-26, 7:30 p.m., shenyunperformingarts.org

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Gershwin’s Magic Key Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-533-6683, April 22, 11 a.m., utahsymphony.org Harp Twins in Concert Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, April 26, 7 p.m., culturalcelebration.org NOVA Chamber Music: Utah Virtuosi Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, April 23, 3 p.m., novaslc.org The Spy Who Loved Me Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 385-468-1010, April 21-22, 7:30 p.m., artsaltlake.org

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APRIL 20, 2017 | 17

Amir K Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, April 20-22; 7 & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Baby Boomer Comedy Show The Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, 801-957-3322, April 21-22, 7:30p.m., grandtheatrecompany.com ImprovBroadway 496 N. 900 East, Provo, 909260-2509, Saturdays, 8 p.m., improvbroadway.com Improv Comedy Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 435-327-8273, Saturdays, 9:30 p.m., ogdencomedyloft.com Keith Stubbs Wiseguys, 269 25th St., Ogden, 801-622-5588, April 22, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Laughing Stock Improv The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, Fridays & Saturdays, 10 p.m., laughingstock.us Matt Iseman Wiseguys, 269 25th St., Ogden, 801-622-5588, April 21, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Off the Wall Comedy Improv Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, 801-572-4144, Saturdays, 10:30 p.m., drapertheatre.org Open-Mic Night Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, every Wednesday, 7:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Quick Wits Comedy 695 W. Center St., Midvale, 801-824-0523, Saturdays, 10 p.m., qwcomedy.com Sasquatch Cowboy The Comedy Loft, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 435-327-8273, Saturdays, 9:30 p.m., ogdencomedyloft.com Sebastian Maniscalco Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-355-2787, April 23, 8 p.m., artsaltlake.org (see p. 14)

COMEDY & IMPROV

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Annie Get Your Gun Brigham’s Playhouse, 25 N. 300 West, Washington, 435-251-8000, April 20-May 27, times vary, brighamsplayhouse.com Betty Blue Eyes Hale Center Theatre, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, April 20-May 27, 11 a.m., 3 & 7:30 p.m., haletheater.org Captain AmericanFORK Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through June 3, times vary, desertstar.biz Crazy For You: The New Gershwin Musical The Empress Theatre, 9104 W. Main, Magna, 801-347-7373, through April 29; times vary, empresstheatre.com Cutie and the Beast Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, through April 22, times vary, theobt.org Dinner Rose Wagner Studio Theatre, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, April 21-May 7, FridaySaturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m., arttix.org Disney’s Aladdin Jr. Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, 801-572-4144, through April 28, Friday-Saturday & selected Mondays, 7 p.m., drapertheatre.org Disney’s Beauty and the Beast The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855944-2787, through May 20, theziegfeldtheater.com Hand to God Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through May 14, Wednesday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 1 p.m. & 6 p.m., saltlakeactingcompany.org I Am My Own Wife Good Company Theatre, 260 25th St., Ogden, 801-564-0288, through April 30; Friday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; SaturdaySunday, 4 p.m., goodcotheatre.com Kiss of the Spider Woman Sorenson Unity Center, 1383 S. 900 West, 801-535-6533, April 21-May 7, Friday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinee, 2 p.m.; Sunday matinee, May 7, 3 p.m., utahrep.org Lionel Bart’s Oliver Center Point Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, 801-298-1302, through May 13; Monday-Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday 2:30 & 7:30 p.m., centerpointtheatre.org Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom Sugar Space Arts Warehouse, 132 S. 800 West, 801-485-2497, April 20-21, 7:30 p.m.; April 22, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.; April 23, 2 p.m., $10-$15, peopleproductions.org Puccini’s La Rondine Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, April 21-22, 7:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu

To Kill a Mockingbird Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, through May 22; 12:30, 4 & 7:30 p.m., hct.org

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18 | APRIL 20, 2017

moreESSENTIALS COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

David Owen: Where the Water Goes Millcreek Library, 2266 E. Evergreen Ave., April 21, 7 p.m., slcolibrary.org (see p. 14) DJ Butler: Selling Your Book Millcreek Library, 2266 E. Evergreen Ave., April 20, 6:30 p.m., slcolibrary.org Nathan Smith Jones: Dragonkyn Barnes & Noble, 7157 Plaza Center Drive, West Jordan, 801282-1235, April 22, 1 p.m., barnesandnoble.com Sandra Cisneros Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, April 25, 7:30 p.m., arttix.org (see p. 14) Sara Zarr and Nina LaCour Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, April 21, 6:30 p.m., wellerbookworks.com University of Utah Creative Writing Faculty Art Barn, 1340 E. 100 South, April 20, 7 p.m., saltlakearts.org

SPECIAL EVENTS TALKS & LECTURES

1 Million Cups Impact Hub, 150 S. State, Ste. 1, 385-202-6008, Wednesdays through June 14, 9 a.m., hubsaltlake.com Frontiers of Science: The Omo-Turkana Basin, East Africa Aline Wilmot Skaggs Biology Building, 259 S. 1400 East, April 20, 6 p.m., science.utah.edu

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

Thanksgiving Point’s 13th annual Tulip Festival The Ashton Gardens, 3900 Garden Drive, Lehi, 801-768-2300, through May 6, MondaySaturday, 9 a.m.-8 p.m.; April 29, 10 a.m.-8 p.m., thanksgivingpoint.org

FARMERS MARKETS

Winter Market Rio Grande Depot, 300 S. Rio Grande St., through April 22, Saturday, 10 a.m.2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org

SEASONAL EVENTS

Earth Day Fair Ogden Nature Center, 966 W. 12th St., Ogden, April 22, 11:30 a.m.-4 p.m., ogdennaturecenter.org Earth Day Festival Utah State University, 1400 Old Main Hill, Logan, April 21-22, 9 a.m.-7 p.m., usu.edu Spring Fest Earth Day Celebration Fairbourne Station Promenade, 2810 W. 3590 South, West Valley City, April 20, 5-8 p.m., wvc-ut.gov

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Art Behind the Zion Curtain Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-355-3383, April 21-May 13, modernwestfineart.com (see p. 14) Barbara Ellard Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, April 21-June 9, 8 a.m.5 p.m., saltlakearts.org Brent Godfrey: Observation A Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, 801-583-4800, through April 22, agalleryonline.com

Celebration of the Hand 300 South (between 200 West & 200 East), 801-906-8521, through April 28, craftlakecity.com CUAC Closing Party 175 E. 200 South, 385215-6768, April 21, 6 p.m., cuartcenter.org (see p. 16) DAC April Exhibition: Layers Downtown Artist Collective, 258 E. 100 South, April 21, 6-9 p.m., downtownartistcollective.org Embracing Diverse Voices: A Century of African-American Art BYU Museum of Art, N. Campus Drive, Provo, 801-422-8287, through April 29, moa.byu.edu From the Heart: Expressions in Fiber Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, 801-965-5100, through April 26, culturalcelebration.org The Future Isn’t What It Used to Be UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through May 13, utahmoca.org Gary Jacobson: Some Thoughts UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through May 6, utahmoca.org Gemma Joon Bae: When I Called You By Name You Came to Me and Became a Flower Anderson-Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, 801-594-8611, through May 25, slcpl.org James Stewart Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, through May 13, 10 a.m.7 p.m., artatthemain.com Jessica Wachter Glass House, 3910 S. Highland Drive, 801-274-2720, April 21, 6-9 p.m., glasshouseslc.com Joseph Cipro: Cosmic Musings Gallery 814, 814 E. 100 South, 801-533-0204, April 21-July 31 (see p. 17) Justin Chouinard: These Ribbons Are Substratum UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through April 22, utahmoca.org Kendra Hitchcock: Ubiquitous Sprague Library, 2131 S. 1100 East, 801-594-8640, through May 6, slcpl.org Laura Hope Mason: Abstract Landscapes Art Barn/Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801596-5000, April 21-June 9, saltlakearts.org Rod Heiss: Let Paint Be Paint Chapman Library, 577 S. 900 West, 801-594-8623, through April 27, slcpl.org RE Urban Arts Gallery, 137 S. Rio Grande St., 801-230-0820, through April 30, urbanartsgallery.org Robotic: Drawings by Carter Johnson Day-Riverside Library, 1575 W. 1000 North, 801-594-8632, through April 29, slcpl.org Rona Pondick & Robert Feintuch: Heads, Hands, Feet; Sleeping, Holding, Dreaming, Dying UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through July 15, utahmoca.org Rosalie Winard Art Barn/Finch Lane Galleries, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, April 21June 9, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., saltlakearts.org Sam Wilson: Poor Traits of a Terminal Art Major God Hates Robots, 314 W. 300 South, April 20-May 12, Monday-Friday, godhatesrobots.com Subject Abject Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., 801-245-7272, through May 12, heritage.utah.gov Utah At War SLC Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through April 22, slcpl.org

Gray Area

CINEMA

AMAZON STUDIOS/BLEECKER STREET FILMS

FILM REVIEW

A great filmmaker shows off his non-showy stuff in The Lost City of Z. BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

S ON U W O FOLL TAGRAM INS

KLY

WEE C L S @

Charlie Hunnam in The Lost City of Z with a compelling mix of zeal and British restraint, and that’s not an easy combination to pull off. The supporting cast is full of equally strong performances, including a nigh-unrecognizable Robert Pattinson as Percy’s traveling companion Henry Costin, and Sienna Miller finding reserves of frustration beyond the stereotypical “you care more about [x] than you care about your own family” wife. That family dynamic grows even richer when the contentious relationship between Percy and his eldest son, Jack (new Spider-Man Tom Holland), hints at the idea that Percy’s issues with his own absentee father are being repeated in another generation. When Gray ends this movie, as he did The Immigrant, with a lovely image reflected in a mirror, it’s a reminder of the layers of depth he offers both visually and textually. That’s wonderful stuff for a tale about how you don’t need fussy elites to decide for you that you’ve accomplished something remarkable. CW

THE LOST CITY OF Z

BBB.5 Charlie Hunnam Sienna Miller Robert Pattinson Rated R

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TRY THESE The Emerald Forest (1985) Powers Boothe Meg Foster Rated R

Little Odessa (1994) Tim Roth Edward Furlong Rated R

The Immigrant (2013) Marion Cotillard Joaquin Phoenix Rated R

APRIL 20, 2017 | 19

Fitzcarraldo (1982) Klaus Kinski Claudia Cardinale Rated PG

The events of Fawcett’s life dictate an unusual structure to The Lost City of Z (pronounced with the British “zed”), which can feel a bit jarring. Segments alternate between his domestic life with his wife Nina (Sienna Miller) and children, and his various expeditions that repeatedly fall frustratingly short of his goal. Those exploration sequences offer a grueling sense of adventure, full of piranha feeding frenzies, turbulent rapids and attacks by indigenous tribes, while a chapter set in the trenches of World War I delivers a similar urgency. The hard cuts of Fawcett’s life back to civilized normalcy, by contrast, might give viewers just as much of a sense of whiplash as they gave him. Those repeated shifts between two worlds are crucial, however, to what Gray himself is exploring. Fawcett’s need to find “Z” is linked to his own diminished societal station, and to the inconceivable-to-theBritish notion that a great civilization could exist among the heathen savages of South America. Where Fawcett faces repeated indignities back in England—including a pompous participant on one of his journeys (Angus Macfadyen) threatening to sue him if he doesn’t offer a proper apology— his Amazon travels become a perfect meritocracy, where success is based entirely on the ability to adapt and survive, and occasionally even interact with the indigenous peoples. Hunnam sells that psychological journey

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ritic, heal thyself: As I prepared to write a lamentation about how, well into his 20-plus-year movie-making career, nobody quite appreciates director James Gray’s talents enough, I chanced to look back at what I wrote about his previous feature, 2013’s The Immigrant. The word I used to describe his dramatic style was “sturdy,” which is precisely the problem. Gray tells cinematic stories without flash or dazzle, focused on character, but with remarkable skill. If there’s no better word for that kind of movie than “sturdy,” there’s a problem with the language, or with what we expect from movies. Perhaps there’s something fitting about Gray’s current thematic concerns, given the fact that he is so rarely part of the conversation about the greatest American filmmakers younger than 50. In The Immigrant, he examined people at a crossroads between the assumptions of society and a kind of respect that seems out of reach. He digs even deeper into that idea with The Lost City of Z, which turns a stranger-than-fiction, reallife story into a meditation on colonialism, class and a world that can’t seem to see past whatever label it places on something. The center of the story is Percy Fawcett (Charlie Hunnam), a British soldier and family man stationed in Ireland circa 1905. Fawcett seeks advancement within the ranks, but as one nobleman delicately puts it, he has been “rather unfortunate in his choice of ancestors”—specifically, a father who was a gambler and a drunk. He’s so desperate to shed that inherited shame that he’s willing to take on a dangerous assignment: leading a team into the Amazon Basin to survey the contested border between Brazil and Bolivia. Along the way, however, Fawcett finds what he believes to be evidence of a highly advanced Pre-Columbian civilization—a conviction that becomes an obsession over the next 20 years of his life.

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CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK

Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. AFTER THE STORM BBB.5 “It’s not that easy growing up to be the man you want to be,” says Ryota Shinoda (Hiroshi Abe), a once-promising novelist whose inability to live responsibly—and within his means—has already cost him his wife (Yôko Maki) and potentially his young son, Shingo (Taiyô Yoshizawa), as well. After the Storm is the latest variation on writer/director Hirokazu Kore-eda’s career-long exploration of the complex entanglements of familial relationships—and one of his best. Abe turns in a wonderful performance as the kind of perpetually down-on-his-luck hustler that could have played as a cliché, but Kore-eda wraps the character in the history of Ryota’s recently deceased, equally fiscally imprudent father, to create a portrait of big dreamers facing the real-world consequences of their actions. There’s no earth-shaking drama here, just small heartbreaking moments like the sadness of Ryota’s widowed mother (Kirin Kiki) lamenting, “I really can’t understand why things turned out like this.” Kore-eda learns how to extract honesty from the choices that someone faces once he acknowledges that the life he imagined for himself has simply become the life he chooses for himself. Opens April 21 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)—Scott Renshaw BORN IN CHINA [not yet reviewed] DisneyNature documentary following native species of China. Opens April 21 at theaters valleywide. (PG) CEZANNE AND I [not yet reviewed] Biographical drama about the lifelong friendship between writer Emile Zola (Guillaume Canet) and artist Paul Cézanne (Guillaume Gallienne). Opens April 21 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)—SR FREE FIRE BB.5 When does a movie that’s nothing but shooting and swearing cease being a simple genre goof and become wearying nihilism? There’s certainly the setup for a satisfyingly brutal Ten Little Indians-style tale in co-writer/director Ben Wheatley’s action/ crime thriller which finds a 1970s arms deal in an abandoned warehouse going sideways and turning into a guns-blazing mess. The cast brings in some fun talent—Sharlto Copley optimizing his over-the-top qualities as a cowardly weapons dealer, Armie Hammer as a foppish middleman, Sam Riley as a hapless

heroin addict, Cillian Murphy as a taciturn Irish Republican Army fighter—and the potential mystery of who double-crossed them all. But there’s not nearly enough personality to go around with this bunch of characters, leaving little to the proceedings but watching the various creative and unpleasant ways in which they are wounded and eventually killed. It’s kinda cool for a while, but lacking that burst of humanity and/or tart dialogue that can elevate similar scenarios from the likes of Quentin Tarantino or Martin McDonagh. All that remains is brutality, and there comes a point when it’s just not funny anymore. Opens April 21 at theaters valleywide. (R)—SR THE LOST CITY OF Z BBB.5 See review on p. 44. Opens April 21 at theaters valleywide. (R) PHOENIX FORGOTTEN [not yet reviewed] Found-footage thriller about the events surrounding teenagers’ possible encounter with a UFO. Opens April 21 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13) THE PROMISE BB If you’ve ever wondered what Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor would be like without the whiz-bang explosions but with a similarly dull love story, The Promise might be the picture for you. As if the Armenian Genocide isn’t weighty enough to sustain 133 minutes, writers Terry George and Robin Swicord give us a loudmouth American journalist (Christian Bale), a feckless Armenian medical student (Oscar Isaac) and a beautiful-and-that’s-her-onlycharacter-trait Armenian tutor (Charlotte Le Bon), stick them in a yawn-worthy love triangle, then send them into the quagmire of the screenplay’s by-the-numbers scenes of PG-13 torture and mayhem. It’s impossible not to be moved by image upon image of agony inflicted upon Armenian children and elderly people, but genocide doesn’t need context; it’s genocide. And it’s a good thing—in movies, that is—that genocide can move an audience without context, because if you’re looking for a history lesson, ya ain’t gonna find it here. Bale and Isaac acquit themselves well, but that’s a testament to their acting skills, not George’s tepid direction. You’d think with Hotel Rwanda under his belt, he’d be more skilled at depicting human suffering. Opens April 21 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)—David Riedel

SPECIAL SCREENINGS MONTE CRISTO At Edison Street Events, April 20-21, 7:30 p.m. (NR) ROMAN HOLIDAY At Main Library, April 26, 2 p.m. (NR) THE SENSE OF AN ENDING At Park City Film Series, April 22-23, 8 p.m. & April 24, 6 p.m. (PG-13) STRIKE A POSE At Main Library, April 20, 7 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES COLOSSAL BBB Goofy high-concept somehow mixes well with goofy allegory as Anne Hathaway plays Gloria, an alcoholic writer who retreats to her upstate New York hometown, where she reconnects with an old schoolmate (Jason Sudeikis) and eventually discovers that she controls a giant monster in Seoul, South Korea. Writer/ director Nacho Vigalondo finds plenty of weird humor in the improbable scenario and manages to navigate through several tonal shifts. Mostly, however, he’s trying to craft a story about people who do (or don’t) figure out how to take responsibility for the damage their actions inflict on others. Vigalondo might never quite figure out the pacing that would allow his climax to feel truly resonant rather than weird and jarring, but maybe it’s OK to make a movie about dysfunctional relationships that just happens to be a kaiju movie in its spare time. (R)—SR THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS BB.5 A franchise that long ago graduated from street racing to multiethnic over-the-top international espionage has reached its lateperiod Roger Moore moment as Dom (Vin Diesel) is blackmailed for mysterious reasons—hint: family—to assist a dangerous hacker (Charlize Theron). Director F. Gary Gray finds some lively moments, from Dwayne Johnson’s Hobbs going Jailhouse Rock in a prison fight, to Jason Statham creatively protecting a baby carrier from gunfire. But any given viewer’s amusement depends

on how much bickering banter they want, how much they care about infants in jeopardy as a plot device, and how much lunacy they’ll tolerate in set pieces employing zombie cars or nuclear submarines. No matter how much you care about (or make into a drinking game) the “family” stuff, there comes a point where spectacle grows exhausting. Even Roger Moore would raise an incredulous eyebrow. (PG-13)—SR FRANTZ BBB François Ozon’s psychological mystery bends into an intriguingly complex look at nationalism set in a small German town circa 1919, where Anna (Paula Beer), still mourning Frantz, the fiancé she lost in the Great War, encounters French soldier Adrien (Pierre Niney), who has his own history with Frantz. Ozon gets clunky with symbolism, like the elbow-nudge of the Frantz/France homophone, but while it initially appears that the narrative will build to revealing the nature of Adrien’s relationship to Frantz, Ozon actually drops that bombshell only halfway through, allowing the story to then evolve into a study of grief and survivor guilt, tangled up in an exploration of how the villains of a war are only obvious depending on where you’re standing. Strong performances by Beer and Niney give Frantz the humanism it needs to push through the director’s occasional heavy hand. (NR)—SR

GIFTED BBB Director Marc Webb dodges most of the pitfalls surrounding movies about adorable kids, largely by finding the right kid for the job. Mckenna Grace plays Mary, a 7-year-old math prodigy who winds up in a custody battle between her uncle Frank (Chris Evans) and his mother (Lindsay Duncan), the grandmother whom Mary has never met. Duncan’s role is an unfortunate sticking point, a manipulative doyenne who feels like a daytime soap-opera villain. Evans provides a more soulful, earthbound balance, but the real star here is Grace, who brings a radiant, no-front-teeth smile and sharp comic timing to a role that might otherwise come off as obnoxiously un-kid-like. As family drama, the story delivers a satisfying emotional payoff, thanks to convincing interplay between Evans and Grace, and the kind of child performance that makes you want nothing but the best for her, too. (PG-13)—SR

TOMMY’S HONOUR BB Being true isn’t necessarily enough to make a story interesting, as demonstrated by this biopic about Tom Morris (Peter Mullan) and Tommy Morris Jr. (Jack Lowden), who were,

UNFORGETTABLE [not yet reviewed] A woman (Katherine Heigl) has ill intentions for her exhusband’s new wife (Rosario Dawson). Opens April 21 at theaters valleywide. (R)

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—Enrique Limón

APRIL 20, 2017 | 21

Do you consider the first building block of a good time out to be ambience? Check out our list of stunners (p. 32) and get ready to be in awe. How about dining with a side of mystery? Get a clue and be in the know of some of SLC’s best secret suppers (p. 42). Out to create the perfect meal from several eateries, our food critic takes a Snakes and Ladders-worthy trip across the region and selects his top picks, from memory (p. 31). We also connect four of the best bubble tea dispensaries (p. 38) and tip our Mr. Monopoly-style hat to some local hotel eateries (p. 34). Got a sweet tooth? Well, Cavity Sam, we’ve got you covered with a trio of terrific cookies (p. 46). Our last stop is candy land, with a roundup of some of the state’s best creameries and ice-cream shops (p. 48) guaranteed to satisfy your hungry hippo cravings. And there you have it, winner. So put on your best stretchywaisted pants and press the Pop-O-Matic; we saved a spot at the table for you.

| CITY WEEKLY |

on’t play with your food. We’ve all heard the expression sometime during our lives. Yes, at its core, food is fuel needed for our bodies to motor. But food also encapsulates memories of amazing times shared with friends, a glance exchanged over a first date and the hilarity, when inspired by gorgeous social media pics, you embark in our own Pinterest-fail-worthy culinary adventures. This year, leading with our Operation-inspired theme, we say to hell with it. Play with your food as much as you want; don’t be afraid to indulge; and go out on a foodie ledge by checking out one of our city’s many off-the-beaten-path eateries. That was the mantra putting this issue together. Yes, it was a tough job, but someone had to do it, starting with the stable of City Weekly staffers and contributors who this year share their own personal faves around town—from tire shop fare to a heavy metal-inspired beer (p. 24).

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22 | APRIL 20, 2017

Contents P.24 We Are What We Eat

City Weekly team members open wide and let you into their culinary cave. By City Weekly staff

P.31 Critic’s Choice Our food critic picks his ultimate meal, one dish at a time.

By Ted Scheffler

P.32 Astounding Ambience Here are 7 SLC restaurants with design as sexy as the sustenance.

By Darby Doyle

P.34 Hotel Hopping A vegetarian reviews local hotel food.

By Ryan Cunningham

P.36 Eating State of Mind We tip our hats to longstanding, bona fide Utah eateries.

By Carolyn Campbell

P.38 The Meatmen Cometh Inside the lost art of meat-cutting.

By Alex Springer

P.42 Pop Up, pop In? Where to go for fine food with a side of spontaneity.

By Darby Doyle

P.44 Sandwich Snackin’ 10 superlative sandwich spots.

By Ted Scheffler

P.46 Crumble Grumble Here’s where to get your cookie fix.

By Amanda Rock

P.48 Brain Freeze

Utah: Home to a bevy of frozen treats.

By Carolyn Campbell

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APRIL 20, 2017 | 23

FASHION PLACE MALL LOCATION COMING LATE SUMMER 2017

| CITY WEEKLY |

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We Are What We Eat City Weekly team members open wide and let you into their culinary cave. By City Weekly staff

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

24 | APRIL 20, 2017

| CITY WEEKLY |

Paloma at Chile Tepín

Enrique Limón, editor Hot dogs and eggs at Victor’s Tires ($6.99) After hearing I hail from Mexico, many people have a romanticised vision of what the diet during my formative years consisted of. They say things like, “I bet your mom is a great cook.” Well, God bless her, she isn’t. In fact, the usual breakfast during grade-school consisted of Cup O’Noodles and a bologna sandwich. How’s that for your hacienda fantasy? Cuisine along the U.S./Mexico border is its own animal and, lucky for me, Victor’s Tires offers one of my childhood staples—huevos con weenie—in its extensive menu. Food inside a tire shop, you ask? Yup. Recently, after noticing both a tire in my car was low and a marching-band-calibre rumble coming from my stomach, the twofer choice was clear: Head to Victor’s and its adjoining restaurant and take care of both. Some 20 years into its history, the brainchild of Victor Galindo and wife Elvia does it right with their fluffy eggs and thick-sliced dawgs, accompanied by beans, Spanish rice and thick housemade tortillas. The dining experience itself—one laced with the cacophony of hydraulic tools, laughter emanating from the kitchen and Dr. Phil blaring from a nearby TV—stirred up some good memories and made for a truly unique dining experience. How bow dah? 1406 S. 700 West, 801-978-9595, victorstires.net/restaurant.html Paloma at Chile Tepín ($6.50) Often overshadowed by its show-off cousin Margarita, the Paloma is a straightforward drink—usually made with only two ingredients: tequila and grapefruit soda—that gets the job done. Distinguished by Zagat in 2015 as one of “5 New Tequila Cocktails,” it’s been available since time immemorial, and delighted with its blend of booziness, acidity, sweetness and salty rim kick. Still, even in its simplicity, it’s highly customizable. “I don’t make them, I just drink them,” server,

Hot dogs and eggs at Victor’s Tires

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

ot the most appetizing subhead, sure, but delirium is starting to kick in. Each year, we ask the fine folks around the newsroom to share their hidden (or sometimes in plain sight) gems and write about a particular food item that’s struck a chord in the last 12 months, along with shining a spotlight on a beverage, boozy or virgin, of choice. Results this go-around were varied—with everything from potent oysters to a tall, sticky wicket. There we go again …

Silvia said when I asked about any in-house quirks. Restaurant owner Carlos Rodríguez later specified his is made with Cazadores Reposado and fresh grapefruit- and lime juice over crushed ice. It’s also served in a cantarito—a clay cup—for an authentic feel. Trust me on this one: Step away from your Lime-A-Rita; your new favorite summer cocktail is here. 307 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-883-9255

Stephen Dark, senior staff writer Moroccan duck salad at Tin Angel ($14.50) With its funky, Pioneer Park location and its intimate, jazzy style, Tin Angel’s greatest culinary asset has always been its attention to detail. Its Moroccan duck salad is simply a delight for the palate, an explosion of subtle flavors that dance lightly between the pickled cabbage and cucumber, the perfectly spiced cabbage, all knitted together by a harissa and apricot vinaigrette that surprises you to the last mouthful. The duck confit is both the crowning jewel in this delicately layered dish while playing a gentle supporting role to the riot of other flavors it showcases. 365 W. 400 South, 801-328-4155, thetinangel.com

Trio’s Mountain Mule ($8) The downtown Trio is just far enough off the beaten track from the city center to feel that you’re enjoying a break from running from one assignment to another. And if I ‘ve had enough dirty martinis to want a break, then it’s a Mountain Mule I turn to for a change of pace. The mix of High West peach vodka, lime juice and ginger beer wakes up my palate, while keeping me poised between the sweet and bitter. With the added touch of fresh basil to bring it truly to live, this is a drink that brings a citrusy balance at the end of a long day. 680 S. 900 East, 801-533-8746, triodining.com

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Dylan Woolf Harris, staff writer Breakfast burrito at Café on 1st ($4.99) There are plenty of places in town to grab a breakfast burrito, but they probably won’t include Café on 1st’s homemade ranch-cilantro sauce. The coffee shop’s flagship breakfast dish is made with egg, potato, bell pepper and onion. Breakfast burritos can be dry, but not here. Prepare to have a napkin on hand because the sauce and juices will drip out of the flour tortilla, no matter how tightly it’s wrapped. If the egg isn’t enough protein, you can add sausage or bacon. The eatery also offers the Bomb Burrito ($5.99) made with avocado and cream cheese, if breakfast burritos aren’t your thing. Go on a Sunday morning for an enhanced dining experience with local musicians adding to the ambiance. 39 I St., 801-532-8488, cafeonfirst.com Sticky Wicket at Under Current Bar ($10) I don’t often drink cocktails, but when I do, I prefer that they don’t hide the booze. For this reason, Under Current’s Sticky Wicket is a sound choice. A variation on the classic old-fashioned, this is a smoky, aromatic drink served on the rocks with orange peel garnish. It’s made with Fernet-Branca, an Italian amaro, which adds a degree of bitterness to the beverage. Instead of sugar, it’s sweetened with maple, and its strong aromatic punch is spearmint. Mix in bourbon rye and an Islay Scotch rinse. During the distilling process, I’m told, the smoky flavor is achieved by laying grains and peat moss on a floor and billowing smoke over it. The drink tastes sharp, so give the ice time to mellow it. 279 E. 300 South, 801-574-2556, undercurrentbar.com Andrea Harvey, copy editor Oysters on the half-shell at Current Fish & Oyster ($2.50-$3 each) When my friends visited recently from my home state of Oregon, I made a point to take them to the best places in Salt Lake City. One of those was Current Fish & Oyster. I had heard how great it was, but had yet to try it. I grew up loving seafood, especially raw oysters. But I’ve always been a bit a bit hesitant to order them in landlocked

Utah. Like me, it took some convincing to get my friends on board at Current. But eventually, we ordered a dozen oysters on the half-shell, and were blown away by how fresh (and relatively inexpensive) they were—even better than some I’ve tried in the Pacific Northwest. Apparently, they’re flown in every other day from the East and West Coast. To boot, the service is fantastic and the staffers really know their stuff. 279 E. 300 South, 801-326-3474, currentfishandoyster.com Pig & A Jelly Jar’s BJ mimosa ($4) Ahhhh, the mimosa. What’s not to love? Especially the ones at Pig & A Jelly Jar, where, like everything else on their menu, the bubbly brunch concoctions are creative, fresh-tasting and reasonably priced. My favorite is the BJ, which is simply a small spoonful of their housemade blueberry lavender jam stirred into a glass of Champagne. It might sound weird, but trust me on this one. Neither the flavor nor texture is overwhelming—both complement the sparkling wine perfectly. Plus, asking your waiter for a BJ never stops being hilarious. If you love it as much as I do, you can even buy a jar of the jam on your way out and make it at home. Not convinced? Then try the strawberry smash. It’s not nearly as fun to order, but just as tasty. 401 E. 900 South, Salt Lake City, 385-202-7366; 227 25th St., Ogden, 801-605-8400, pigandajellyjar.com David Miller, editorial intern Publik Kitchen’s Hash ($10) For me, breakfast is king. There just isn’t a better opportunity to chow down. Throughout my day, my desire for a hearty meal is tainted by stress and other distractions, so right when I wake up is the optimal time for me get the most pleasure out of every bite. I don’t usually have the time or money to go out for breakfast, so when I do, I like to make it count, and the Hash at Publik is always a first choice. Thick peasant toast is topped with country-style fried potatoes, breakfast sausage and caramelized onions and peppers. Two eggs are laid over the top to make a beautiful and delicious pile of grub. 931 E. 900 South, 385-229-4205, publikcoffee.com

DEREK CARLISLE

The BJ mimosa at Pig & A Jelly Jar

DEREK CARLISLE

Oysters on the half-shell at Current Fish & Oyster

Grasshopper boozy milkshake at Hub & Spoke Diner ($8.50) First of all, milkshakes are the absolute best—there’s just no arguing with that. And, let’s be honest, adding a little booze never made any drink worse. So, when I heard Hub & Spoke whipped up a mean boozy shake, I had to check it out, and it did not disappoint. A classic grasshopper shake with crème de menthe and chocolate liqueur that satisfied both my dessert and drinking needs. The shake wasn’t too sweet or too strong on the alcohol, and would make for the perfect treat on a warm night. With four other flavors, including dirty chai and salted caramel, I wholeheartedly plan on returning to sample the rest. 1291 S. 1100 East, 801-487-0698, hubandspokediner.com

Scott Renshaw, A&E editor Mesquite Chicken Salad, Squatters Brewpub ($12.99) As arts-coverage assignments frequently find me in the vicinity of the Rose Wagner Center downtown, I often stop in for dinner at Squatters across the street out of simple convenience. Well, perhaps that’s not entirely true: I’ve also become addicted to their Mesquite Chicken Salad as an improbable kind of comfort food. A massive serving of romaine lettuce, black beans, corn, tomato, bacon, avocado, hard-boiled egg and chicken is smothered in chipotle ranch dressing, but the kicker is that it’s all served on top of a plate-sized piece of Navajo fry bread. Soaking up all the flavors as you work your way to the bottom—assuming you can finish it all, which is no small task—it turns a salad into something you want to curl up in with a smile.

Squatters’ Chasing Tail Golden Ale ($4.99) Dabbling in creative adult libations is an interest that has passed me by in my old age, but my frequent dinner stops at Squatters do give me a thirst for something to pair with my chicken salad. I invariably turn to the Chasing Tail Golden Ale, which offers just the crispness I’m looking for to wash down that chipotle ranch dressing. It’s hard to deny the bonus that I can also take it home with me, where it pairs just as wonderfully with a lot of things I make in my own kitchen. And sometimes, it just pairs wonderfully with sitting in a chair and relaxing. 147 W. 300 South, 801-363-2739, squatters.com

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Sarah Arnoff, proofreader Rye Cream Ale at A. Fisher Brewing Co. ($5) A. Fisher Brewing Co. might be the newest brew master on the block, but they’ve already got a number of hits on tap. While their namesake pilsner and hoppy red are mighty tasty, every time I wander in for a Sunday brew, I find myself sipping on their golden, delicious rye cream ale. I never thought rye beers could be refreshing until I took a gulp of Fisher’s. It goes down smooth and pairs well with pretty much anything the guest food truck out back is dishing out. And with the weather warming up, I’m definitely looking forward to spending some quality time with a pint or two in Fisher’s beer garden. 320 W. 800 South, 801-487-2337, fisherbeer.com Custom group menu at Finca (prices vary) You don’t need a special occasion as an excuse to head to Finca with 10 or so of your closest friends—the food alone is worth its own celebration. Reserve Finca’s Jerez private room for a cozy and intimate culinary experience, customize your menu ahead of time, and relax as servers bring your group plate after plate after plate of delectable Spanish tapas. Starting with the quesos and charcuterie plates is never a bad choice, and keep the momentum going with the excellent patatas bravas (potatoes in a spicy sauce) and tender, mouth-watering setas (slow-cooked mushrooms). Don’t even think about leaving out the seafood options as the gambas al ajíllo (shrimp in garlic chili oil) is a must. These small plates are shared family-style, and though indulging in only a spoonful or two of each might seem like a light meal, with Finca’s numerous options for group menus, you will leave with your palate pleased and your belly full. 327 W. 200 South, 801-487-0699, fincaslc.com

Sulaiman Alfadhli, editorial intern Turkey pesto sandwich at Café Solstice ($8.25) As a full-time student and a part-time employee, I get a lot of stressful days. Thankfully, places like Solstice provide just that, along with a healthy alternative for eating the stress away. It’s a Zen space that hosts both vegan and non-vegan lunch menus. My go-to is the delicious and light turkey pesto sandwich. The locally grown organic tomatoes and freshly baked whole wheat bread makes it taste even better. And the fresh salad that comes on the side makes for the total package. 673 E. Simpson Ave., 801-487-0980, cafesolsticeslc.com Curry ’N’ Kabobs’ mango or strawberry lassi ($2.95) One of the best things about Salt Lake City is that ethnic restaurants abound. For a taste of worldliness in downtown, Curry ’N’ Kabobs is the place to be. Along with a bevy of delicious entrées, they offer a variety of delicious and refreshing drinks to satisfy your cravings. My favorite drink there is the sweet mango or strawberry lassi. The South Asian drink is made with mango or strawberry juice (or a mix of both) and some yogurt. What makes this lassi so special? Well, the restaurant adds hints of saffron and cardamom to give it a delicate spicy punch. Go ahead and try it, your tastebuds will thank you. 268 S. Main, 801-363-0300 Randy Harward, music editor Carne asada burrito with a carne asada taco on the side at Chronic Tacos ($6.99; $2.99) I discovered Chronic Tacos in Sugar House by about a week after finding a brand-new Chronic Tacos T-shirt

at the D.I. down the road. It doesn’t fit; I’m burrito-fat. But it looks cool. So why get a burrito and a taco of the same meat persuasion? Chronic’s carne turned out to be so tender and well-seasoned that I like to pick out chunks to pop in my food hole. But it’s even better with a chewy flour tortilla, cilantro, onions and a huge scoop of guacamole (included at no extra charge). Ditto the burrito, it turns out. I get all of the above plus salsa, sour cream, tortilla strips and Oaxaca cheese on mine—and still get to enjoy the taste and texture of the meat. That shirt’s never gonna fit. 2121 S. McClelland St., 801-906-8411, chronictacos.com/salt-lake-city

Green Pig Pub’s Iron Maiden Trooper beer ($6) Just like oldsters said about Iron Maiden back in the day, the beer bearing their name—and developed by Maiden vocalist Bruce Dickinson with Robinsons Brewery in Stockport, England, was initially “a little dark for my taste.” Another old dude told me back when I was just a li’l trooper, “Beer is an acquired taste.” When I was old enough to drink beer, I understood that to mean, “Drink it until it tastes good.” So I did. And it didn’t take long to develop an affinity for this maltheavy brew made with a blend of Bobek, Goldings and Cascade hops with a dash of lemon. It’s not at the liquor store and, at 4.7 percent ABV, too potent for the grocery store. So thanks to the Green Pig for stocking it. To quote Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure: “Iron Maiden?! Excellent!” CW 31 E. 400 South, 801-532-7441, thegreenpigpub.com The Iron Maiden Trooper beer at Green Pig Pub

DEREK CARLISLE

BRENT CHRISTENSEN

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| CITY WEEKLY |

Carne asada burrito at Chronic Tacos

Enjoying endless tapas at Finca

GREG OLSEN

SARAH ARNOFF

Fisher Brewing Co.’s rye cream ale

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Locally Made Locally Delicious! 20 BEERS

ON TAP H $5 LUNC L

SPECIAAY ALL D YDAY

30 | APRIL 20, 2017

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EVER

LEGENDS PROUDLY SERVES A LARGE VARIETY OF LOCAL BEERS & SPIRITS

677 SOUTH 200 WEST | 801.355.3598

TED SCHEFFLE

Gourmet Grazing Our food critic picks his ultimate meal, one dish at a time. By Ted Scheffler

DEREK CARLISLE

Tuna tartare at Log Haven

French onion soup at The Paris

Rice dolaa at Mazza

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that’s “cooked” in lime juice, served with a smidgen of fresh Fresno chiles, Inca corn for taste and texture, compressed sweet potato and homemade taro chips. Wow! Kudos to Provisions (3364 S. 2300 East, SLC, 801-410-4046, slcprovisions.com) chef/owner Tyler Stokes for being one of the few restaurateurs in town to serve whole fish. His whole fried branzino with coconut cream, lime, chile jam, kale and butternut squash is stupendous. Since this is my fantasy, let’s throw in both soup and pasta courses. Let’s see … soup. It’s got to be The Paris’ (1500 S. 1500 East, SLC, 801-486-5585, theparis.net) gratinée à l’oignon. I’d belly up to the zinc bar and ask Justin for a wine or cocktail recommendation first—what do you drink with French onion soup? This is something that so many restaurants get wrong, but with Parisian-born Emmanuel Levarek in the kitchen, you can count on your soup’s onions to be perfectly caramelized and the Gruyère to have a slightly toasted crust and crunch—a beautiful bowl of soup, indeed. For a pasta course, it’s going to be tough to top the ravioli at Fireside on Regent (126 S. Regent St., SLC, 801-359-4011, firesideonregent.com). If you tend to think of ravioli as overcooked, cheese-stuffed pasta sheets smothered in tomato sauce with grated cheese, think again. Although the house-extruded iteration at Michael Richey’s restaurant is hearty in texture, it’s delicate in taste. The perfect pasta envelopes braised chicken-thigh meat and ricotta, and the raviolis are served in a light consommé and topped with fresh minced herbs—chervil and chives. This ravioli is rad. Choosing a single meat course is challenging. But even given all the excellent steaks, chops, filets, shanks and such out there, one of my very favorites is a dish featuring lamb, but it’s not hogging the whole plate. I’m thinking of the Lebanese-style lamb and rice dolaa at Mazza (1515 S. 1500 East, SLC, 801-484-9259; 912 E. 900 South, SLC, 801-521-4572, mazzacafe.com). It’s such a simple dish, yet so satisfying: Lean lamb is cooked until tantalizingly tender with Middle Eastern spices such as cinnamon and allspice, served with rice and garnished with toasted almonds and pine nuts. Alongside is homemade cucumber-yogurt sauce which adds clean, aromatic flavors. Go all out and enjoy it paired with Massaya Terrasses de Baalbeck Silver Selection wine— made with Châteauneuf-du-Pape type varietals—from the Bekaa Valley in Lebanon. Finally, it’s back to Park City for one of the best dessert selections not just in Utah but anywhere on the planet. Tupelo (508 Main, Park City, 435-615-7700, tupeloparkcity.com) Pastry Chef Shirley Butler originally hails from England, so it’s not surprising that her sticky toffee pudding should be such a hit with customers, as are her addictive buttermilk biscuits with Tupelo honey butter. One of the U.K.’s great gifts to humankind, sticky toffee pudding, is delicious in its own right, and this version is second-to-none—so moist and luxurious with silky toffee-pecan sauce. But Butler kicks hers up a few notches with the addition of unforgettable Earl Grey bitters ice cream. It’s simply outstanding. Now, maybe I have room for just one wafer-thin mint … CW

BRENDEN GRANT

o you ever wish that, instead of sitting down to eat in a single restaurant, you could compose a fantasy meal consisting of dishes—appetizers, entrées, desserts, etc.—from all your favorite establishments? I do. Of course, it would be nearly impossible to pull off, even with being Ubered from location to location. But, hey, a man can dream. This would be a Sophie’s Choice situation where some of my favorite menu items wouldn’t make the cut, but sadly there isn’t room (even in a gourmand’s fantasy) for all of those I’d like to include. Hard choices must be made, if only to avoid the fate of Monty Python’s Mr. Creosote, who (spoiler alert) comes to an untimely end in The Meaning of Life when, following a hyper-gluttonous meal, a single “wafer-thin mint” prompts his gruesome demise. So here we go: Since, in my mind, every awesome meal should begin with oysters, I’d head to Market Street Oyster Bar (48 W. Market St., SLC, 801-531-6044, ginc.com) for an assortment of bluepoint, Kusshi, Northwest and Kumamoto oysters on the half-shell and a glass of crisp white wine. Next—and not solely because my partner works there—I’d enjoy the pretty drive up Millcreek Canyon to Log Haven (6451 E. Millcreek Canyon Road, SLC, 801272-8255, log-haven.com) for Chef Dave Jones’ outstanding appetizer: minced sushi-grade tuna tartare with a crisp miso-sesame tuile, seaweed salad, crushed avocado and pickled shiitakes. Simultaneously sweet, spicy and tart, this tartare hits all the right notes. For a salad course—and, this is why such a dining excursion is only possible in my mind—I’d motor to Park City for the hamachi Caesar salad at Firewood (306 Main, Park City, 435-252-9900, firewoodonmain.com). Caesar salad can be a ho-hum affair, but that’s definitely not the case when creative Chef John Murcko is involved. Romaine ribs are topped with a heavenly dressing, with toasted pumpernickel crumbs (in the place of standard croutons) and shaved Parmigiano-Reggiano, and served with two pieces of smoked hamachi. Look very closely and you’ll find nearly invisible pieces of salted egg yolk, microplaned onto the lettuce leaves, which impart more flavor and texture than if the yolks had merely been incorporated into the dressing, as is the tradition. Of course, we’d want bread with our meal. For that, Table X (1457 E. 3350 South, SLC, 385-528-3712, tablexrestaurant.com) marks the spot. I don’t normally go gaga for bread, but the in-house baked sourdough here—served gratis with silky whipped butter—is other-worldly. The same is true of the focaccino at Stoneground Kitchen (249 E. 400 South, SLC, 801-364-1368, stonegroundslc.com). Essentially, it is baked, slightly charred pizza dough that puffs up like Indian poori or a Mexican sopaipilla. A server delivers the steaming focaccino to your table and deftly deflates and slices it. It’s lightly sprinkled with Adriatic Sea salt, dried oregano and garlic oil, and served simply with an irresistible pomodoro sauce for dipping. Yes, bodacious bread. Time for a fish course. No, wait—two fish courses: one hot, one not. Let’s begin with the surreal ceviche at Pago (878 S. 900 East, SLC, 801-532-0777, pagoslc.com). Chef Phelix Gardner’s ceviche starts with raw halibut

Alluring Appetites Here are 7 SLC restaurants with design as sexy as the sustenance. DEREK CARLISLE

By Darby Doyle

HSL

CITYHOME COLLECTIVE

If Ernest Hemingway and Anais Nin got together and designed a restaurant, it might look something like HSL. Earthy, elegant and sensual all at the same time, with perfectly flattering lighting (crucial, right?) and spaces meant for lingering over spectacularly plated dishes as gorgeous as they are delectably nom-worthy. Chef Briar Handly’s award-winning cuisine—along with the talents of pastry chef extraordinaire Alexa Norlin and bar manager Clif Reagle—pull out all the stops in a well-curated room filled with as much refinement as there is character, thanks to the collaboration of co-owner Melissa Gray and CityHome Collective design guru Cody Derrick. 418 E. 200 South, 801-539-9999, hslrestaurant.com

Pallet

The Rest

The Rest Experiencing The Rest smacks of clandestine nooky, from making a reservation through the ambiguous AF website, to navigating the upstairs bar at Bodega, looking for a host to guide the way and finally arriving at a low unmarked door downstairs which spills you directly into a dimly lit bar complete with bodacious, badass bartenders and a turntable wailing classic ’80s Prince. Once snug in your candlelit booth, dark reliquaries and looming taxidermy give a singularly sexy old-world vibe. The food and cocktails all are decadence-meets-comfort, the dining equivalent of sharing artisan ice cream straight from the container with warped heirloom sterling spoons while wearing nothing but a ratty vintage silk robe and a wry smile. Quirky, weird and designed by owner Sara Lund for the moody misfits of our city’s underbelly—all in the best possible way. 331 S. Main, 801-532-4452, bodega331.com

There’s a bit of a sexy steampunk-saloon-meets-Parisbistro vibe going on here; a feeling of sophistication and solace that imbues the place from dinner at dusk to latenight drinks with desserts. It’s all classy and casual. With Bijan Ghiai’s crew slinging sublime original cocktails, the ever-changing menu designed by chef and co-owner Buzz Willey and Pastry Chef Courtney McDowell’s decadent deconstructed sweet delights, it’s hard to make a bad call. Perfect for theoretical date No. 3, if you know what I mean. 237 S. 400 West, 801-935-4431, eatpallet.com

Mazza Middle Eastern Cuisine Stepping into Mazza’s cozy 9th & 9th location on a dark blustery evening is a bit like plunging into something out of Arabian Nights, all silk and sequin-studded-pillow luxury after tumbling through a desert sandstorm. Alluring, unexpected, fragrant and lush. Food meant for sharing from lover’s fingertips between lingering sips of wine. And the delightful (or mercenary?) practicality of seemingly a dozen-plus Uber drivers prowling the popular neighborhood, ready for lust-distracted patrons in search of speedy retreat to more private post-dinner environs. 912 E. 900 South, 801-521-4572, mazzacafe.com

Table X

ProTip: Go for an exploratory walk-about when you’re at Table X. No matter how enamored you might be by both the menu and your dining companion(s), there’s plenty of eye-candy to take in at this homage to sublime architectural intention. Long black leather banquettes along one wall; on the other, three massive tufted-leather curved booths offering all kinds of privacy while simultaneously framing the view of the entirely exposed space under a historic barrel ceiling. As envisioned by architect Thomas Bath, designer Andrea Beecher and graphic artist Dallas Graham, the space is pushing all kinds of visual boundaries for the folks of Happy Valley, in the best possible way. The best part? The food matches this spirit of stepping just slightly out of the usual comfort zone, with lovely presentations of locally sourced ingredients—many of which are grown in the restaurant’s own extensive on-site garden— served up in charming earthenware. Wander through the chef’s dining room cozied up to the open kitchen, mosey

A Cheapskate’s Guide to SLC Dining: Think good grub means breaking the bank? Think again.

ou work hard for your money, so you better treat yourself right. Go ahead and buy your deodorant and off-brand window cleaner at the dollar store, but when it comes to food, you deserve better than Costco hotdogs and Top Ramen. With some insight to the best restaurants off the beaten path, you can eat like royalty on a pauper’s budget. Whether you’re broke or just thrifty, here’s a list of delicious dining options that won’t break the bank.

Eggs in a Hole at Left Fork Grill

JOHN TAYLOR

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32 | APRIL 20, 2017

Pallet

Breakfast at Left Fork Grill Start your weekday with a hearty breakfast for less scratch than a latte from Starbucks. For only $4.49, diners can choose from two options: two eggs, potatoes and toast with housemade jam; or two eggs, one pancake and bacon or housemade sausage. Splurge and order the freshly pressed orange juice served in a chilled glass. You deserve it. Left Fork Grill is something special, a classic diner owned by a properly trained chef, Jeff Masten, who purchased it in 2006 and made it a destination for those who are nostalgic for diner food but crave quality. 68 W. 3900 South, 801-266-4322, leftforkgrill.ipower.com

Second breakfast at Fresh Donut There’s no excuse to stick to your diet at Fresh Donut and Deli. Seize the day with these from-scratch, melt-in-your-mouth old-fashioned donuts for under $1 each. Choose from classics like apple fritters, glazed, maple bars and more. Score a dozen for less than a 10spot and be the office hero, or treat yourself to one or two as a mid-morning snack. Locals in the know consider these doughnuts the best in Salt Lake City, which explains why this familyowned-and-operated bakery gets more popular (and busier) every day. 2699 S. State, 801-467-8322

By Amanda Rock Lunch at Nico’s It’s hard to beat $5.99 for lunch, especially when it’s this delicious and filling. Nico’s, a small family-run restaurant, serves authentic Mexican food with friendly customer service. Each weekday brings a different lunch special served with your choice of meat, (or sans meat if you prefer) rice and beans and a free soda. If you dine in, you can enjoy a complimentary serving of freshly made salsa and warm, crispy tortilla chips. On Monday, dig into two tacos. Tuesday’s special is one taco and one enchilada. Wednesday offers one chile relleno (possibly the best in the city) and an enchilada. An enchilada and tamal are Thursday’s special. Fridays, you can taste a huarache—masa covered with your choice of meat—and other tasty toppings. Craving Wednesday’s special on a Thursday? No problem, just pay a buck more. 1458 W. North Temple, 801-364-0363

Bambara

O U T W I T H T H E C O L D. . .

JOHN TAYLOR

H E DE L I C I OU T H T I S! NW

Old Spaghetti Factory “It’s a bit like a bordello, right?” my friend Amber Billingsley said when we were reminiscing about high school pre-formal dates spent canoodling in over-the-top red velvet booths at The Old Spaghetti Factory (50-plus international outlets, including three Utah locations). Dedicated in equal parts to teenage angst and bittersweet nostalgia, the quintessential “fancy” carbo-load was—and still apparently is on any given Friday night—the place to see and be seen for both the Proactiv

Bambara Fabulous cocktails, perfectly on-point plates and some of the best service in town: These are but a few of the reasons Bambara retains a stellar reputation among out-of-town guests and devoted locals alike. The sexiest part of the whole experience, apart from the spot’s lush international ambiance and glittering historic glamour? The fact that it’s housed in one of our state’s premiere boutique hotels, the Hotel Monaco, a Top 5 Sexy Staycation in the SLC. I just made that list up, but go with it. You won’t be sorry. CW 202 Main, 801-363-5454, bambara-slc.com

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APRIL 20, 2017 | 33

Dinner at Pie Hole The Pie Hole is known for late nights and cheap slices. Graffiti covers the walls, mountains of empty PBR cans are stacked high, and the arcade and pinball machines are ready to be played. It’s the destination after the bars close, but it’s also a great place to indulge in a few slices of New York-style pizza on your lunch break. Prices range from $2.09 for a slice of cheese pizza, to $2.64 for the slice of the day. Wash it all down with a Pabst, sold by the can for only $1. Try the popular potato-bacon pie or the vegan slice of the day—they’re all good. Hit them up Monday for lunch where you can score two slices and a fountain drink for $5. 344 S. State, 801-359-4653, pieholeutah.com

SALT LAKES ORIGINAL! AWARD WINNING INDIAN CUISINE since 1990

| CITY WEEKLY |

Pie Hole

set and families working that kids’ menu for all it’s worth, from coast-to-coast. Multiple locations, osf.com

NIKI CHAN

on downstairs to the open-concept bathrooms and make out with an old flame under the exposed steel-structure staircase— all in a night’s amble and nosh, Table X-style. 1457 E. 3350 South, 385-528-3712, tablexrestaurant.com

20 W. 200 S. • (801) 355-3891 • Catering available Open Mon-Wed: 9am-6pm Thu-Sat: 9am-9pm

A vegetarian reviews local hotel food. Story and photos by Ryan Cunningham

otels are places where people sleep, take showers, then leave. It’s one of the most basic services a business could offer. What hotels provide on top of that, however, determines their true savvy. It starts with free soaps and shampoos—customary at even the dingiest of chain morels—and progresses to continental breakfasts, pools, minibars and other such comforts. Suddenly, guests feel so pampered, they start to wish they never had to leave. Then there are those hotels so desperate to entrap their guests that they add restaurants. Do not be fooled: Nine times out of 10, a hotel restaurant is a fake restaurant. It’s an amenity, an illusion of luxury. A veritable sheep in wolf’s clothing. But just as hotels con their guests into paying for counterfeit fine dining, I have conned City Weekly into paying me to patronize and review these afterthought eateries. To be sure, I was sincere in my effort to critique bad hotel food—despite being a vegetarian with the dietary preferences of a 12-year-old. But it was rarely the food that grabbed my attention.

JB’s emptied out quickly as the evening conference talks neared. As I left, the waitstaff was regrouping from the conference rush. I overheard a server say, “I think they like to go out for milkshakes afterward.” Rating: Six?

Sunny’s Bistro

Sunny’s Bistro is tucked into the Airport Inn Hotel near the western dead-end of North Temple. Drive any farther, and you might end up on an airport runway. On a sensory level, the dining space is crowded by the adjacent indoor pool’s chlorine fumes and cacophony of giggly splashes. Everything else feels more like a typical American-style Chinese restaurant: tile floors, unpretentious furniture, kitschy decorations. Jennifer, my server and the restaurant’s proprietor, seated me. I told her I admired the bistro’s logo, a cartoon girl

in a red kimono. “Isn’t it cute? My sister designed it on her Mac,” she said. Sunny, it turns out, is their mother’s name. I ordered kung pao tofu from Jennifer, who asked if I was vegetarian. She offered a vegetarian egg roll in place of the customary pre-meal soup, as it had beef stock—a courtesy rarely extended to me at restaurants. I got a fortune cookie with my check. It read, “An unexpected visitor will bring you good blessings.” Thus far, the prophecy has failed to actualize. Rating: 10, 23, 29, 20, 32 & 35.

JB’s

The Garden Grill

The Hilton Garden Inn’s restaurant inconspicuously blends into the hotel’s lobby on the first floor. It has a dining area conjoined with a bar, where a TV showing the NCAA basketball championship game drew traveling businessmen like moths to a porchlight. The scene felt a bit like a new-money millionaire’s mancave get-together. Alec served me at my table in addition to manning the bar. He looked like the rugged love interest from a madefor-TV movie on the Hallmark Channel. For a brief moment Alec seemed as transfixed by the game as the bar’s patrons, and I wondered if he had forgotten about me. Why, Alec? I recalled my newfound role as a restaurant critic, and I mused on the idea of writing a scathing review. I could pen such a lashing that the Hilton Garden Inn would shudder at every inference of my name. Oh, the power I now arbitrarily wield without any justifiable qualification! Alec, it turned out, deserved no such treatment. He cheerily served my tri-colored veggie tortellini, which I inexplicably paired with a Michelob Ultra. North Carolina beat Gonzaga to claim its sixth national championship. Rating: 4 Seed, At-Large Bid.

JB’s Restaurant

JB’s, attached to the Plaza Hotel in downtown Salt Lake City, is across the street from Temple Square. When I dined there on the Saturday of LDS spring conference weekend, I felt underdressed in my heather-gray hoodie. The establishment is well kept, but it looks old. The décor shares the aesthetic vision my mom had for her living room in 1992. Emily was my server. A sleeve of tattoos was partially concealed under her long-sleeve T-shirt. I ordered the Cajun shrimp pasta without shrimp, and Emily didn’t flinch. She smiled, fetched my Diet Coke, and proceeded to explain the local transit system to the elderly South African couple seated in a nearby booth. She even grabbed transit maps from the hotel lobby and gave them directions to the Amtrak station. The pasta was about as Cajun-spicy as a caucasian man from Utah would pride himself in handling. I made a point of finishing the large-portioned meal, which was a misguided decision I later regretted.

Hot for Tots: 7 places that elevate the humble tater tot to art. Bourbon House Totchos

Campfire Lounge in Sugar House has the most extensive tot menu, serving them plain, smothered or even taking the place of fries in their fish (or shrimp) ’n’ tots. You can’t go wrong with Totzzas ($8), loaded with pizza toppings like savory sausage, marinara and melty, stretchy provolone cheese. Tot-zzas are meal-worthy, fun to share and even more fun to pronounce. 837 E. 2100 South, 801-467-3325, campfirelounge.com Another tot dish loaded with goodness comes from the Bourbon House. Totchos ($10) rival Tot-zzas with an equally fun name, plus they’re just as tasty. Like nachos, these craveable tater tots are cheesy— covered in fontina, cheddar jack and queso fresco. Roasted jalapeños, a drizzle of crème fraîche, roasted tomatillo salsa and a sprinkling of green onion make them fancy. 19 E. 200 South, 801-746-1005, bourbonhouseslc.com

By Amanda Rock Ice Haüs’ sweet potato tots

JOHN TAYLOR

ccording to my recent (and unscientific) Twitter poll, 57 percent of people prefer tater tots over french fries. Golden fried orbs of potato bits have won over the hearts of Utahns, whether it’s from childhood nostalgia or the fact that they’re delicious and versatile. Dress them up or dress them down; we are hot for tots! Aside from that Ore-Ida bag in your freezer, where can you score some tots? From Salt Lake City’s hottest cocktail bars to a fast food drive-thru, we’ve got you covered.

JOHN TAYLOR

| CITY WEEKLY |

34 | APRIL 20, 2017

Try the Grilled Cheese

Since we’re talking upscale tots, you have to try them with garlic aioli ($4) at Copper Common. You won’t find a more sophisticated tot dish than this bar snack of six perfectly executed housemade tots, each with a delicate drizzle of garlicky goodness. 111 E. 300 South, Ste. 190, 801-355-0543, coppercommon.com On the other end of the flavor spectrum, you’ll find sweet potato tots ($6) from Ice Haüs in Murray. Sweet and savory, these taters are served with cinnamon-honey butter, and pair perfectly with hearty burgers and draft beer. 7 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801-266-2127, icehaus.com

Contemporary Japanese

H Bar

Oak Wood Fire Kitchen

The Peery Hotel, rumored to be haunted, has been a downtown Salt Lake City mainstay for over a century, but I suspect it was only recently when they decided to serve wood-oven pizzas. That’s the featured dish on the menu of the Peery’s street-level restaurant and bar, which looks anything but antiquated on the inside. The dining room has four gigantic TVs all playing different sports channels. A faux fireplace, framed by stacks of real firewood, takes up most of the far wall. I had a tag-team of servers: Jaxon and Jill. I’ll be honest: I couldn’t get over the novelty of being served by a Jackand-Jill duo. There I sat, munching on a four-cheese white pizza watching the rebroadcast of a collegiate softball game, and all I could think about was, “Jack and Jill! What a coincidence!” My powers of observation, admittedly, were compromised. Apparitions could have been floating about the room, knocking over salt-and-pepper shakers, and I would’ve been none the wiser. Rating: Silver.

The two employees at the front desk of the Hyatt House looked embarrassed when I entered the lobby. Some emotion-

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Where else can you get a side of history with your tots? The Capitol Café, located inside the Utah Capitol is open to the public and offers reasonably priced eats, including tater tots for only $1.89. Drown ’em in fry sauce, grab a table and enjoy some compelling people-watching. Maybe you’ll even catch a few state officials chowing down on burgers and tots. Wander the Capitol grounds, admire the statues and monuments and drop in on one of the hourly tours while you’re there. 350 N. State, 801-538-1095, utahstatecapitol.utah.gov

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If you need a quick tot fix, or if you’re under 21, hit up your local Taco Time. They’re called Mexi-Fries on the menu, but we know tots when we see them. Choose from plain ($1.39-$2.49), lightly dusted with spices; or feast on an order of Stuffed Mexi Tots ($2.49-$3.99), chock-full of

Dining

| CITY WEEKLY |

Sweet potatoes are also featured at Garage on Beck. Try Marsha’s Hot Sweet Tots ($5), a clever combination of regular potato and sweet potato, all spiced up. Shout out to their fried Mormon Funeral Potatoes, which are also round, warm and made of spuds. 1199 Beck St., 801-521-3904, garageonbeck.com

JOSH SCHEUERMAN

H Bar

al trauma had affected one of them, who was crying. The other was consoling her when they both looked up at me. The crying employee turned and walked into a back room, while the consoling one— herself teary-eyed—swallowed hard and said, “Hi there! What can I do for you?” “Hi … Can I dine in?” I asked. “Alone in the lobby of a hotel in Sandy that you’re not even staying at? Sure, weirdo,” I assumed she thought to herself. I ordered a pesto-and-veggie grilledcheese sandwich with tomato bisque soup, which was served to me by the chef herself. As I dined, the crying staffer slowly pulled herself together at the bar. The entire time, I mentally speculated at what might have happened to her. Did someone close pass away? Did she lose a pregnancy? I wanted to offer some token of acknowledgement, but as the solitary screwball enjoying a grilled cheese dinner in the midst of her personal hour of anguish, I didn’t feel well-positioned to inject my condolences. In this fifth visit, I finally felt like an imposter: a schlubby writer wolf in a sheepish food critic’s clothing. I left a 100-percent tip and didn’t look back. My newly minted food-critic recommendation: Try the grilled cheese at the Hyatt House H Bar if you’re ever in Sandy. Rating: Fine. Everything’s fine. CW

We tip our hats to longstanding, bona fide Utah eateries. By Carolyn Campbell

hen you think about it, a classic restaurant is like a familiar friend you’re always happy to see. “A good classic restaurant is consistent,” Melva Sine, president of the Utah Restaurant Association, says. “You know that when you go there, everything about your experience will be great, both from the food and the service side.” Utah, she continues, is fortunate to have many classic restaurants in several categories, including traditional, casual and fine-dining. “While Utahns like cooking on their own, there is nothing else like going out to dinner and having someone else bring delicious food to your table and do the dishes afterward,” she says. “Dining can be your destination. Regardless of what kind of food you like, we can accommodate you with the wide variety of restaurants we have here.” Yet, she adds, becoming a classic restaurant isn’t easy. “Thirty-five percent of restaurants go out of business in the first year, and 70 percent close their doors during the first five,” she says. Still, Utah boasts the thirdfastest-growing restaurant industry in the nation, employing more than 100,000 people. “We call the restaurant industry the industry of opportunity,” the expert continues. When it comes to homegrown classics, everyone has their own venerable faves. Here are some of mine: From outside the entrance of Maddox Ranch House in Perry, you can already smell the homemade rolls made daily with Brigham City flour. They are presented alongside corn bread and raspberry butter. Since 1949, this steakhouse with a drive-in attached has offered steak and chicken. Signature dishes today include shrimp, steak and bison. “They have the best turkey burgers and turkey steaks. No one in my world does it better, and I’ve tried them everywhere,” Sine says. Little America Coffee Shop is a Salt Lake City mainstay with a reputation for turning its tables more than any other restaurant in the state, Sine points out. “You can walk in there almost any time of the day or night and have a conversation.” Favorites here include baked halibut, prime rib and the hot turkey sandwich. The rolls are airy, delectable and delightful, served with jams and jellies. Housed in a classy, downtown hotel, this coffee shop has been offering its reliable comfort food since 1979. Prior to the hotel tower’s construction, the Little America Hot Shoppe eatery thrived on Main Street for many years. According to Sine, local restaurant group Gastronomy truly brought the fresh fish market to Utah.

Market Street Grill opened in 1980. Today, their three restaurant locations continue to do an amazing job presenting fresh seafood. Their delectable clam chowder, grilled-to-perfection salmon, flavorful halibut-and-chips and delicate sole filet are among a long list of seafood dishes that make any occasion special. For those wanting to replicate some of those dishes at home, their markets sell fish that they say is as fresh as any coastal city’s. Want to hobnob with the Beehive elite at bargain-basement prices? Hires Big H is a gathering place for the likes of Mitt Romney, Jake Garn and Gov. Gary Herbert, co-owner Mark Hale says. Since 1955, Hires has prided itself on freshness—hamburger buns are baked overnight and the burgers are pattied every morning. Tomatoes and onion rings are also prepared on the same cycle. “We have our own commissary where we produce all of our sauces,” Hale says. Order a Big H hamburger, a mug of root beer and a serving of fries, and you’ll swear you’ve gone to Archie and Betty heaven. Lamb’s Grill opened in Logan in 1919 and moved to Salt Lake City’s Main Street in 1939. Manager Tony Hellstrom says the famous lamb shank, braised all day long, is a signature dish, as are the blackened salmon, fish and chips and, at night, rack of lamb. “Lamb’s is a venerable institution,” Hellstrom says. “There is a lot of business going on here—businessmen and politicians eat here regularly. Even John Saltas of City Weekly dines at Lamb’s.” There you have it. Crowd-tested, publisher-approved. CW The Golden Veggie burger at Hires Big H

JOHN TAYLOR

| CITY WEEKLY |

36 | APRIL 20, 2017

Confirmed Classics

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APRIL 20, 2017 | 37

| CITY WEEKLY |

38 | APRIL 20, 2017

Philip Grubisa

The Meatmen Cometh Inside the lost art of meat-cutting. By Alex Springer

STEVEN VARGO

The Competitors

It’s barely 10 a.m. when I arrive at the Texas Roadhouse in Taylorsville. Steakhouses like this cater to the dinner crowd, so they typically spend their daytime hours getting everything prepped for the dinner rush. Admittedly, I feel a bit guilty ringing the service bell to announce that I have arrived to disrupt their pre-service prep by pulling their two finest meat cutters away from their morning duties. For the time being, the dining area is clean and eagerly awaiting a Saturday evening’s worth of diners. While I’m in the middle of lamenting the fact that there will be peanut shells all over the place within about 12 hours, restaurant manager Brad Allen arrives with a warm greeting. He’s quick to mention how proud he is of the fact that not one, but two of his meat cutters were skilled enough to qualify for Texas Roadhouse National Meat Cutting Challenge. This year’s competition was in Kissimmee, Fla., in March and drew 113 competitors. Meat cutters qualify by competing locally, and their spot in the national competition puts them in the running to net $20,000 for themselves, along with the Meat Cutter of the Year title. It’s no easy task—each competitor is given a 40-pound side of beef that they then must cut into prize-winning steaks. Judges are looking for the right combination of uniformity, yield and speed. Winners of the first round qualify for the semifinals, where they can move on to the finals and a real shot at that sizable prize money. Utah typically has a few competitors that make it every year, but it’s rare to find a single Texas Roadhouse with two cutters talented enough to join the tournament. It’s not long before I meet the pair, who have been dutifully prepping their workstations within the frozen walls of the restaurant’s meat coolers. Adan Bonilla is a towering presence on his own, and the fact that he spends 8 to 10 hours a day slicing up steaks could make him intimidating if he wasn’t so damn pleasant. Cecilio Villalobos— or “Chilo,” as his beef brothers call him—is the elder of the two, and carries himself like the steakhouse veteran

JOSH SCHEUREMAN

f this article caught your attention because the thought of comparing the work of butchers to the work of artists stirs up feelings of righteous indignation deep within you, then you have already proved my point—good art has always been provocative. On the other hand, if it caught your eye because you’re looking for an argument with which to burn your vegan friends when they give you shit about indulging in a juicy ribeye, then I must disappoint you. I’m not here to absolve you of your gastronomic guilt—that will have to remain between you and your dietary deity. Upon spending time with a few locals who’ve made careers out of doing our carnivorous dirty work for us, I’m really not sure how else to designate their craft. For Adan Bonilla and Cecilio Villalobos, their jobs at a local Texas Roadhouse gave them a shot at $20,000 through an annual meat-cutting competition; and for Philip Grubisa and his posse of ex-chefs who operate Beltex Meats, one of Salt Lake City’s only whole-animal butcher shops, it’s about preserving a trade that is on the verge of extintion. There’s a name for people who have honed their unique skillset into a competition-ready arsenal, and it happens to also be the name for those who seek to perpetuate nearly forgotten practices. They’re called artists.

that he is. Adan participated in the competition last year, and he even made it to the semifinals. It’s Chilo’s first, and though the two of them are technically competing against each other, it’s easy to see there’s no bad blood. Both men started off at entry-level positions within the ranks of the chophouse after they moved here from Mexico, and worked their way up to the prestigious title of meat cutter after a few years on the job. “I practiced every day to prepare for the competition,” Bonilla says. “If I win, I’m planning on sending my kids to school.” My first meeting with Bonilla and Villalobos took place just before the big event, and it was clear that they were already getting a bit nervous about competing on a national scale. Bonilla, who had vied before was a bit less fazed, but his counterpart had reservations about what to expect. After watching these two make short work of a few slabs of beef, I start picturing them repeating these same careful motions while a panel of judges critiques their form. I can spot a good steak when I see one, and I must say that these two know what they’re doing. Deep down, I start to get a glimmer of hope that at least one of our guys

SLURP!: Where to go when you got it bad for boba.

By Amanda Rock

ubble tea, boba tea, boba—whatever you call it, we like it. This tea-based beverage comes in a plethora of flavors and styles. Every variation has two things in common—yummy, chewy balls of tapioca called “boba,” and they’re all tasty. Stab the oversized straw through the plastic top and slurp it up, baby. Need some fun in a cup? Check out these popular bubble-tea destinations.

Gossip Tapioca opened in 2003 with an extensive menu. Keep it simple with a Jasmine milk tea, make it complicated with multiple fruit jellies and flavors or choose one of the favorites, like Tropical Fruit Mix ($3.75) made with mango and coconut pudding, diced fruit, boba and coconut milk. One of the most popular drinks is Da Bomb ($4.25), an orange, mango and banana smoothie with boba. They also offer funky flavors like red bean and avocado. 1629 W. 3500 South, West Valley City, 801-886-2868, gossiptapioca.weebly.com

If you like it a little nerdy, check out Watchtower Café. Salt Lake City’s only café dedicated to gaming and comic books also offers boba. You can be a basic bitch year-round with the Mary Jane— a delicious combination of red bean, vanilla, pumpkin spice and boba. The BB-8 is a blended beverage made with Thai iced tea, caramel and boba, topped with whipped cream—just as sweet as the cute little robot himself. 1588 S. State, 801-477-7671, watchtower-cafe.com

Lua-O is an unexpected gem in Fashion Place Mall’s food court. They serve pho, bahn mi and other Vietnamese eats, but let’s talk about their drinks. Choose from mango, strawberry, taro or piña colada smoothies studded with chewy boba for $4.50. It’s a perfect treat while you’re indulging in some retail therapy. 6191 S. State, 801-265-9034, lua-o.com

Tea Factory in Chinatown is a fine destination to get your boba fix. This little shop located outside Salt Lake City’s largest Asian grocery store offers a wide selection of beverages including tea (with or without milk), yogurt-based drinks and slushes. You can add pudding or fruit jelly to your drink, as well as boba. Be sure to try the Original Milk Tea ($3.99) and pick up one of the freshly made, red-bean-filled buns to snack on. Hit up the Tea Factory before browsing the supermarket and you’ve got the perfect lazy Sunday afternoon. 3390 S. State, Ste. 19, 801-809-3229

will be able to take home that cash prize. A week later, I met with them after the competition to get their spin on the event— but mostly to see how well they did. “I tried everything I could,” Bonilla says, “but I picked a bad piece of meat. I thought it looked good, but it wasn’t on the inside.” Neither made it to the semifinals, but by a small margin. “The goal was to get at least 88-percent yield, but I only got 82,” Bonilla says. Chilo recalls feeling a bit overwhelmed once the competition started. “It was confusing because it was my first time and there were so many new people there,” he says. Regardless of this minor setback, both Bonilla and Villalobos remain solid professionals. “It’s sad that we didn’t get to the second round, but next year will be better,” Villalobos says. Bonilla sees it as motivation to improve his performance at his home base. “I want to continue to do my best here, too,” the meatman muses. “I love my job and I want to give quality to the customers.”

The Traditionalists

STEVEN VARGO

| CITY WEEKLY |

APRIL 20, 2017 | 39

Thanks to years of watching horror movies, butcher shops always make me a little nervous, which isn’t necessarily fair. In fact, when I came to Beltex Meats to spend the day with owner and professional butcher Philip Grubisa, the environment was a lot like that of a neighborhood bakery. It’s a small shop that Grubisa and company built from a renovated home across the street from Liberty Park, and the storefront makes good use of the building’s natural light and exposed brick. Even though it’s only been there for just over a year, Beltex feels like it’s been a neighborhood mainstay for generations. A Miami native, Grubisa moved to Utah

in 2007 while the woman who eventually became his wife finished her undergrad at the University of Utah. “I’ve been a chef for the past 13 or 14 years, and I always found myself as the butcher in most of these settings,” he recalls. “Years ago, I met a gentleman in South Carolina who turned me onto the idea of purchasing the whole animal as opposed to just purchasing steaks. It’s a big undertaking, but it’s financially viable if you can make it work.” While this idea initially started because it made fiscal sense for his restaurants, Grubisa came to learn how much buying whole animals helped farmers. “Farmers and ranchers aren’t in the ribeye business, or the New York strip business—they’re in the beef business,” he explains. For those who think that adding the words “whole animal” to a business is a hipster marketing ploy, I know a 50-pound Boer boat that would disagree. As we continue our interview, Grubisa proceeds to break down this lean bit of livestock and describe the best way to cook each cut. All of Beltex’s beef, pork and goat come from local farms, such as Pleasant Creek Ranch, which produced the goat currently occupying the butcher’s attention. “Marketing plays a big part in how consumers buy meat,” Grubisa says as he unsheathes a gigantic hacksaw. “If the rancher is using great practices, there are cuts on the animal that are tender and delicious and great for certain cooking applications. We don’t know about those cuts because they usually have weird names.” At this point, I’m amazed at how quickly Grubisa has assembled some familiarlooking cuts on his butcher block. We’ve got some goat chops for grilling, a neck roast just aching to be smoked or braised, and a bit of goat belly which would later be sliced into goat bacon—incidentally,

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goat bacon now occupies the top tier on my must-try list. “Goat is the most-eaten animal in the world, but we have to be salespeople about it here,” Grubisa says. “I like to hire former cooks because they can talk about how to apply a certain cooking application to the meat that we sell.” While Beltex is a great place to pick up steaks, pork chops and sausages, it’s also worthwhile to take a look at their other products. I spotted several jars of readymade Bolognese sauce made with a mixture of beef heart and pork. They also use livestock bones to make soup stock, and dog owners can even pop in and get some gourmet ground beef for their canine buddies. Grubisa is also a bit of a charcuterie nerd, and Beltex boasts one of the most impressive selections of cured meats I’ve ever seen. After packing up the last of his goat meat, Grubisa leads me to the basement, where he and his team have built a fully functional curing chamber. He proudly opens the door to reveal racks upon racks of salami, pepperoni and chorizo. The aroma is intoxicating. “We want to get the choosy customer,” Grubisa says as he locks up his curing

chamber and swifts me back upstairs. “Because we’re getting such a well-raised animal, everything goes up in price—but good food might cost a little more. The picky customers are our best customers.” It’s this statement that made me pause while munching on a bit of Beltex’s fiery chorizo. Thing is, today’s food consumers approach grocery shopping as an outward expression of their lifestyle choices. The ability to conscientiously choose locally sourced beef over something factory-farmed has become synonymous with the ability to choose DIY artwork on Etsy over mass-produced pop art from IKEA. In the same vein—or in this case, beautifully marbled fat—consumerism on a local level is no longer about buying the product itself. It’s about buying the effort that went into the product. That being said, it remains tricky to define that metaphysical magic that happens when someone makes the effort to create something special out of the mundane; whether it’s through tradition or through competition. But, isn’t that why we invented the word “art” in the first place? You chew on that. I’m going back for some more chorizo. CW

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STEVEN VARGO

| CITY WEEKLY |

40 | APRIL 20, 2017

AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD

| CITY WEEKLY |

APRIL 20, 2017 | 41

COURTESY SECRET SLC

Make it pop Where to go for fine food with a side of spontaneity. By Darby Doyle

here’s something a bit naughty about a pop-up event’s unconventionality, even if you’ve registered to attend months in advance. It’s a particularly kickass combination of side-eye curiosity and clandestine camaraderie; though the venue and theme might be disclosed, there’s often a lot of surprise elements in play. Intangibles of the individual chef’s culinary personality and a mishmash of guests adding to the comfort-zone-dodging context all make for an evening with a bit of mystery thrown into the mix. From cutting-edge molecular gastronomy served in after-hours gallery spaces, to classic soirées in elegant mansions—laid-back fun to black-tie formal—there’s a little something for everyone popping up in our salty city. Here’s how some of the best of SLC’s pop-up scene are keeping lucky guest’s WTF-O’-meters humming, with events that are diverse and delicious.

Spice Kitchen Incubator/Pop-Up Multiple awesome locations, spicekitchenincubator.org Celebrating the culinary diversity of our city is one of the many things that draws and keeps SLC’s vibrant scene. On April 29, our community is at it again with a pop-up event from Spice Kitchen Incubator, showcasing the food of Chef Noor al Sham at Eggs in the City (1675 E. 1300 South, 801-581-0809, eggsinthecityslc.com) for a five-course Syrian meal with dishes from zingy fattoush salad to decadent baklava. According to event organizers, “Spice Kitchen Incubator is a project of the International Rescue Committee (IRC), in partnership with Salt Lake County. It is a business incubator that brings together refugees and other disadvantaged community members interested in starting a full- or part-time food business. Spice Kitchen Incubator ensures participants receive technical assistance and training, have affordable access to commercial kitchen space and learn the steps to establishing a successful food business.” Win-win in our books. And pocketbooks. Secret SLC Curated by Baya Voce, secretslc.com Secret SLC is kinda like Fight Club: The first rule is that there is no Secret SLC. Or, to be more precise, the VIP cocktail Chef Katie Weinner

Secret SLC

party you are invited to next month will be completely different from the avant-garde chamber concert your friend might have attended last year. Although Baya Voce, Secret SLC’s organizer coordinates some public events—like the New Year’s Eve party that gave many of us serious FOMO from the social media coverage—the group’s experiences are meticulously curated by Voce based upon a strategic guest list. Past standout events include a 20-person connoisseur-driven dinner parties, an FBI agent’s tutorial on lie-detecting and hundreds showing up for the Utah AIDS Foundation’s 30th anniversary White Party fundraiser. “I wanted to bring an element of surprise and curiosity,” Voce says. “For most events, people will receive an email or hand-delivered invite from us and get very little information other than the date and time. I base the guest list entirely upon making connections specific to that event.” Also of note is that attendees have no idea what they’ll be in for until they show up. A former professional matchmaker, Voce believes that face-to-face conversations are what really bring people together, and she networks with leaders all over the city in different fields to collaborate on ideal guest lists. This summer’s only public Secret SLC event will be on June 3; check out their website to preregister for this party and to request an invitation for future ones. They may or may not get back to you, which is all part of Secret SLC’s mysterious mission. Chef Noor al Sham

VINCE CORAK

ANNE STEPHENSON

42 | APRIL 20, 2017

| CITY WEEKLY |

SLC POP Chef Katie Weinner, slcpop.com Since 2012, Weinner has been delivering multi-course dinners that are as innovative and boundary-pushing as they are appetizing. (Think mini clotheslines pinned with translucent slices of charcuterie, edible paper “ransom notes” printed with savory and sweet ingredients in a rainbow of colors, smoke-filled jars exactingly assembled with miniature nosh-able foggy landscapes.) But don’t let the precision and whimsy of the plates fool you. “Guests can expect five to six stellar courses. People will definitely leave satisfied,” Weinner says. “I’ve never had anyone leave hungry.” The chef has staged her popular pop-ups at venues around town, starting with her first dinner at Caputo’s Market & Deli, then onto the now-shuttered NATA Gallery. After surviving eight episodes on Bravo’s Top Chef Season 12 in Boston, Weinner returned to SLC ready and rarin’ to find suitable spaces to host (usually) twice-monthly events. Her favorite part

of the experience? Being able to source ingredients and research techniques specific to a particular season and place, while still pushing the culinary envelope. “I love finding cool products and sharing them with clients,” she says. “It keeps me energized finding what’s in season and figuring out visually interesting ways to present them.” It’s a compelling strategy catering to the culinarycurious; Weinner estimates that 80-90 percent of each dinner’s guests are return clients who appreciate tasting something completely new at each event. A feast for the eyes, palate and senses, one spectacular plate at a time.

The McCune Mansion

Culinary Crafts Various locations, culinarycrafts.com For when a fabulously formal approach suits your mood, highbrow events hosted by Culinary Crafts combine refined foods with rarified environments. Case in point? The Spring Fling for Foodies, slated for Friday, May 12, at Salt Lake City’s spectacular McCune Mansion. In partnership with the power-fundraisers of Pure 400, the group is also planning a Park City pop-up at Big Moose Yacht Club later this summer. Thinking ahead, their annual harvest event will be at Snuck Farm in Pleasant Grove in October.

Chef Tom Call

Visiting-Chefs Series Finca, fincaslc.com Finca’s visiting-chef events have been captivating local diners since January, when former SLC-based Chef Tom Call (formerly of the Trio restaurant group and Grand America Hotel, and owner of his own pop-up business, “Made by Tom”) returned to the city while taking a quick break from San Francisco’s One Market where he is currently chef de cuisine. Restaurant owner Scott Evans described his motivation for the series in a recent social media post, saying that after thinking about it for years, he decided to pull the trigger based on his expansive circle of culinary contacts, adding that the experience “allows both chef and restaurateur to push culinary limits and feature food and wine that truly inspires.” CW

HARRY CLARK

Raclette Machine Zara Ahmed & Abby Pfunder, @raclettemachine on Twitter To satisfy that jones for melty, gooey cheese porn, look no further than Ahmed and Pfunder, the ultimate fromagefix enablers behind Raclette Machine. You can even say that their entire relationship has been based on cheese: They met at California’s Cowgirl Creamery years ago, worked together at Richmond, Utah’s Rockhill Creamery, and at their 2014 wedding in San Francisco held a raclette party for the reception. Ahmed fell in love with raclette— named for both the Alpine cheese perfectly suited for uniform melting and the technique of toasting the entire exposed surface of a raclette cheese wheel to scrape off a perfect portion for each guest—while she lived near Lyon, France, working as an English instructor. Since the couple’s move to SLC, they started catering raclette events and have hosted pop-ups in private homes. Last March, Raclette Machine put on a killer pop-up at Amour Café, and plans to host more events there and at other venues around town. “We love supporting local cheesemakers, like using Rockhill’s Wasatch Mountain Gruyère, which is a great raclette cheese,” Ahmed says. They also feature events with everything from very traditional French service with potatoes and cornichon to mixing things up with a modern twist, incorporating toppings from local purveyors like Salsa del Diablo and Amour Spreads.

DEREK CARLISLE

ZARA AHMED

Raclette Machine

The

| CITY WEEKLY |

Chakra Lounge and Bar

Offering full bar, with innovative elixers, late night menu & weekend brunch

Indian Style Tapas

From the Creators of The Himalayan Kitchen Next to Himalayan Kitchen

ChakraLounge.net 364 S State St. Salt Lake City

APRIL 20, 2017 | 43

Open 5 - 1am Mon-Thurs • 10am - 1am Fri-Sun

Breaking Bread 10 superlative sandwiches spots.

sandwich with mozzarella, tomato and basil pesto on fresh bread. But the best bang-for-the-buck is the halfsub sandwich (which is as large as some chains’ whole subs), priced at a mere $3.50. We usually grab an armful of them for the kids when we go on hikes. Knowing that buying a sandwich is helping to fight hunger (other than your own) makes it taste especially good. That’s the case at Even Stevens (multiple locations, evenstevens.com), whose slogan is “a sandwich shop with a cause,” where money for making sandwiches is placed in a special Sysco foods account. At the end of each month, Even Stevens’ nonprofit partners access the account, order sandwich-making ingredients, and volunteers build sandwiches for the hungry. That makes their Mihami Vice, Capreezy, Pot Roast Dip, Báhn Belly, Hummazing Vegan and other sandwiches even tastier. Johnniebeefs (6913 S. 1300 East, Cottonwood Heights, 801-352-0372, johnniebeefs.com) is a fastfood, Chicago-style hot dog emporium with a brainblistering tubesteak selection—some 30-plus—as well as sandwiches and burgers. The dogs are made with 95-percent-lean domestic beef and the buns are imported from the Windy City. Is it a sandwich? A brat? A hot dog? A burger? Whatever it is, the Dytka is a meat lover’s dream: a beef hamburger patty and a bratwurst sausage with cheddar cheese, grilled onions, tomato, sauerkraut, tomato, pickle and celery salt on a seeded bun with deli mustard. Where’s the beef, you ask? Right here. Size matters. If the size of your submarine sandwich is a deciding factor, prepare to do battle with Big John. That’s the name of the popular, oversized and underpriced deli sandwich at Grove Market (1906 S. Main, 801-467-8860, grovemarketdeli.com). The Big John features seven deli meats—salami, ham, corned beef, pastrami, bologna, turkey and roast beef—piled 3 to 4 inches high, then topped with both Swiss and American cheese, plus mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato, pickle and pepperoncini on a thick, airy ambassador roll (or on rye, French, sourdough or wheat bread). Trust me, there will be no room for dessert. I spend a fair amount of time every year in Philadelphia, so I eat a lot of cheesesteaks. There are some good Philly-style cheesesteaks in Utah, but none is better than at Vito’s in Bountiful (100 S. Main, 801-953-8486). No website. No credit cards. Continuing the theme, it’s open just a few hours each day, and yet, the line of hungry patrons awaiting their custom-made oozing creations is always a long one. Get there early, as the man himself, Vito Leone, closes up shop when he runs out of meat for the day. There are so many excellent sandwich options at Tony Caputo’s Market & Deli (multiple locations, caputos.com) that it’s painful to have to settle on just one favorite. I love the Soprano, the Meatball, Old School, Fior di Latte and others. But there’s one that’s tough to find west of New Orleans: the Muffuletta. With flavors straight from NOLA’s Central Grocery, it’s a classic combination of ham, mortadella, Genoa salami and provolone, with spicy olive salad on a grilled ciabatta roll. Olive lovers will go gaga for this great muffuletta. CW

The Chicago Dog at Johnniebeefs

Grove Market’s Big John

TYSON ROLLINS

don’t know who first put a hunk of meat or cheese between two slices of bread, thereby inventing the sandwich, but I’m grateful for it. My earliest memory of eating as a kid is munching on a grilled cheese. Since then, I’ve developed a fierce fondness for a serious assortment of sandwich styles: cheesesteak, gyro, sub, hoagie, grinder, muffuletta, bahn mi, panini, torta, bocadillo, döner, pistolette and shawarma, to name a few. So, narrowing so many super sandwiches down to a list of my 10 favorites was not easy, but the research was mighty tasty. With a selection of more than 20 different sandwiches, the Robin’s Nest (311 S. Main, 801-466-6378, robinsnestslc.com), named for owner Robin Paluso, is heaven for sandwich lovers. The Heritage—Paluso’s tribute to her Italian father—is an excellent Italian hoagie-style sandwich. But the one I keep returning to is the Egg-Straordinaire. A good egg-salad sandwich is getting harder and harder to find these days. Thankfully, this one fills the bill with homemade egg salad, red onion, green peppers, lettuce and melted cheese on wheat bread (add bacon for a meaty kick). Whenever I find myself back East, I always make time for a stop at DiNic’s to get their famous roastedpork sandwich. Este Deli (1702 S. Main, 801-487-3354, estepizzaco.com) owner Dave Heiblim prefers the roast pork at Paesano’s, “The place our roast pork sandwich is based on,” he says. Paesano’s uses roast suckling pig for its pork sandwiches, while Este favors braised pork shoulder. Juicy, tender pork is shredded and served hoagie-style with garlic, roasted red peppers and the classic accoutrements: sautéed broccoli rabe and sharp provolone. The Philly cheesesteak at Este is damn good, too. If I’m being honest, I’ll confess that I’m not a big fan of City Creek Center. But if, for some reason, I’m forced to be there, at least I can look forward to a stupendous sandwich in the food court at Bocata (28 S. State, 801355-3538, bocatasandwich.com). What’s unique here is that the sandwiches are made from pizza dough and cooked in a pizza oven, sort of like a calzone. Quality ingredients like slow-roasted leg of lamb, meatballs, roasted tomatoes and turkey are all cooked from scratch, in-house. My personal fave is the porchetta sandwich, which is fennel-rubbed, slow-roasted Italian-seasoned pork with tangy, roasted red bell peppers and a green garlic sauce. Now let’s talk tuna. As with egg salad, a good tunasalad sandwich also is a rarity nowadays. Well, you can wrap up your search here, because Feldman’s Deli (2005 E. 2700 South, 801-906-0369, feldmansdeli.com) makes the best in town. It begins with solid white albacore mixed with scallions, celery, lemon juice, salt, pepper and celery seed. The huge-portioned tuna salad is served on fresh bread with lettuce, tomato and onion, but the key is, owner Michael Feldman says, “it’s made fresh every day.” Cost was a key factor in my sandwich search, and although it might not be the most gourmet, one of the best bargains I found was at Harmons (multiple locations, harmonsgrocery.com), where the breads are baked in-house. I really like, for example, their caprese

DEREK CARLISLE

By Ted Scheffler

JOHN TAYLOR

| CITY WEEKLY |

44 | APRIL 20, 2017

The Philly at Este Deli

COMING SOON

110 West Broadway | 385.259.0574 | peeryhotel.com

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APRIL 20, 2017 | 45

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GRANT HANSEN

46 | APRIL 20, 2017

| CITY WEEKLY |

6098 S. State St. | 801-265-8790

hen I tell people I’m addicted to gas-station cookies, they think I’ve lost my mind, or they flat-out don’t believe me. Who can blame them? Gas stations aren’t known for fine food. Until now. With tempting sugar cookies dressed in colorful frosting, and classics like chocolate chip and oatmeal, My Cookie Fix (multiple locations, mycookiefix.com)has what you’re craving. No preservatives or artificial flavors here—only goodness made with real sugar, butter and cream cheese. Using a treasured family recipe, Karissa Peterson founded the company inside a Chevron gas station located in Draper. The cookies sold like hotcakes, and Peterson knew she was on to something. My Cookie Fix now sells at over 70 gas stations throughout northern Utah. At $1.79 a pop, you can afford to live large, or at least buy yourself a top-shelf cookie now and then. My guilty pleasure is the sugar cookie, and theirs are feather-light, melt in your mouth and come in a variety of delightful flavors—truly the best I’ve tasted. Here are my three favorites: 1 I had to rethink everything I knew about gas-station food after my first bite into the coconut crème. It wasn’t the cloying, fake flavor I was expecting. The texture is heavenly and the flavor unique. A light dusting of coconut crumbles atop the frosting add visual appeal and true coconut flavor. 2 The orange cream is a dream. Its vibrant orange frosting is eye-catching and the genuine citrus flavor is just as intense. Speckles of orange zest in the frosting will make you forget you’re eating a cookie. Just kidding—but, really, this flavor bomb will blow your mind. 3 The traditional sugar cookie is a cute flower decorated with white frosting and a pretty pink center. Perfectly moist and simple in flavor, it’s made with the best ingredients. The frosting is light and fluffy, and not too sweet. You can’t not appreciate the mad skill that goes into these blissful baked goods. Other noteworthy cookies include the strawberry cheesecake, snickerdoodle and the old-fashioned. But ultimately, you can’t go wrong with anything from My Cookie Fix—they’re all delicious. The next time you’re in a gas station, look for the coveted cookie case and get ready for the incredulous looks when you explain that you’re addicted to a gas-station cookie. CW

DELICIOUS...

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MON - T H U 1 1 a-1 1 p / F RI -SAT 11a -12a / SUN 3 p- 1 0 p

APRIL 20, 2017 | 47

5370 S. 900 E. / 801.266.4182

| CITY WEEKLY |

NO MATTER HOW YOU SLICE IT!

Utah: Home to a bevy of frozen treats. By Carolyn Campbell

2991 E. 3300 S. | 385.528.0181

Now Open

ce cream is Utah’s guilty pleasure. According to insidermonkey.com, ours is the seventh-highest ice cream-consuming state in the nation. Worldwide, by the way, the United States is the second-highest ice creamconsuming country (we’ve got your number, China). Traditional ice cream is just one variety of chilly deliciousness found in the Beehive, as sherbet, sorbet, gelato, frozen custard and frozen yogurt are always just a frosty stone’s throw away. Here are some local favorites: Nielsen’s Frozen Custard (378 N. Main, Layton, 801-5470775, nielsensfrozencustardut.com) has been watching after your waist since 1981. Well, sort of. Custard is made from milk rather than cream, and therefore has fewer calories— but just as much flavor. Their pumpkin custard in the fall, and caramel topping year-round, are out-of-this-world delicious. Even The Wall Street Journal declared that it’s “where God goes to get his ice cream.” Besides Nielsen’s, there’s Culver’s frozen custard (culvers.com), with seven Utah locations, enticing flavors-of-the-day and tempting mix-ins. In a return to traditional ice cream, Justin Williams founded Rockwell Creamery (43 N. University Ave., Provo, 801-318-5950, rockwellicecream.com) in November 2015. “I wanted to make handmade, fresh ice cream,” he says. And that he does, as everything is made from scratch— flavorings, extracts, you name it. “We hand-make our own cookie dough, our own peanut-butter cups, and our salted caramel is real salted caramel,” he says. Among his 15 flavors are “unique honeycomb ice cream made with our Nielsen’s frozen custard

own honeycomb candy, and homemade muddy-buddy ice cream filled with homemade muddy buddies.” The décor at Rockwell is a return to tradition, too—back to “the era of the 1900s ice cream truck.” In the mood for seasonal fare? They’ve got that, too. When Utah raspberries are in season, Williams makes raspberry cheesecake ice cream. “We use local fruits as part of our mission to use fresh and local and the best ingredients,” Williams says. Former pastry chef of Salt Lake City’s Frida Bistro, Peter Korth created a Mexican-inspired dominico plantain split recognized by Food Network magazine and the Cooking Channel. After a stint in Los Angeles, he decided to return to Utah and make a difference in the local ice-cream scene. Upon his return at the end of 2015, Korth brought along a trend he’d noticed in the Golden State—old-fashioned ice cream with unexpected, unique flavors. He now has 42 original recipes under his own belt through PJK’s Creamery (801-347-5648, pjkscreamery.com), which you can find at the Downtown Farmers Market. Black pepper ice cream with tequila-pickled cherries, breakfast-cereal ice cream featuring Cap’n Crunch and Lucky Charms marshmallows, and a Mexican hot-chocolate ice cream with jalapeño and pepita brittle crunch are all in the delectable roster. The appeal, he says, is evergreen: “Ice cream is popular here in Utah, no matter the season.” Sure, some locals still miss the days of parlors such as Fernwood’s and Snelgrove’s, but thanks to these innovators, our taste buds’ future seems bright—bright and icy. CW Rockwell Creamery’s handmade ice cream

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| CITY WEEKLY |

48 | APRIL 20, 2017

Brain Freeze

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A Catering Cafe

450 S. 200 E. • 801.535.6102 • CYTYBYRD.COM

| CITY WEEKLY |

APRIL 20, 2017 | 49

| CITY WEEKLY |

50 | APRIL 20, 2017

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705 S. 700 E. | (801) 537-1433

Mon-Fri 5am-2:30pm I Sat 7am-12 pm

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A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews

Pho Saigon Noodle House 2

TED SCHEFFLER

REVIEW BITES

Nuóng vi at Pho Saigon Noodle House 2

This new Murray offshoot of West Valley City’s Pho Saigon Noodle House is clean, colorful and airy. Take some time to peruse the extensive menu, ordering an appetizer like the excellent spring rolls or the house specialty báhn xèo—savory, omelet-like crêpes made from rice flour and filled with bean sprouts, roasted pork slices, thin-sliced onion and shrimp. Prices are ridiculously low, so you can order the most expensive option on the menu: the nuóng vi, which is translated as “grilling at the table.” For $19.95, you’ll get a DIY setup for two to four people, including warm rice noodles, rice paper wraps, basil, cilantro and other vegetables, a plate of thin-sliced raw beef and shrimp marinated in a sweet soy sauce with Vietnamese spices and slivers of white and green onion, all topped with sesame seeds. It’s fun and delicious, albeit a bit messy. The pho is so good that you’ll run the risk of always ordering it and never getting around to other delicious menu options, but that’s a happy problem to have. Though it’s perhaps a bit saltier than most, the pho is as aromatic and palatepleasing as anything you’ll find in Utah. Reviewed March 30. 4907 S. State, Murray, 801-590-8277

The Science of Brewing...

Beer & Wine brewing supplies

Hours: Sun 10-5pm M-Sat 10am-6:30pm

APRIL 20, 2017 | 51

801-531-8182 / beernut.com www.facebook.com/thebeernut

| CITY WEEKLY |

1200 S State St.

| CITY WEEKLY |

52 | APRIL 20, 2017

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Final Exit

Poison Suffocation Piranha Pond

Mary Kills People goes dark; The Handmaid’s Tale goes darker. Mary Kills People Sunday, April 23 (Lifetime)

Series Debut: Canadian actress Caroline Dhavernas has starred in left-of-center American series like Wonderfalls and Hannibal, but Mary Kills People is probably the first to fully realize her oddly chilly/sexy potential (it’s also a Canadian production, so no U.S. credit earned). As the title bluntly spells out, Dr. Mary Harris (Dhavernas) kills people—specifically, those who are terminally ill and want to go out on their own terms. Her secret Angel of Death gig threatens to spill over into every other aspect of her life, echoing darkside classics like Weeds and Dexter, and Dhavernas’ complex Mary is an easy equal to Nancy Botwin and Dexter Morgan. The first season is only six episodes, but it’s an addictive taste of what should be more to come. Make it happen, Canada!

Dimension 404 Tuesday, April 25 (Hulu)

Season Finale: Hulu’s six-episode anthology series Dimension 404 is like a more comedic take on Black Mirror— then again, pretty much anything is comedic compared to Black Mirror. The series’ premiere episode, “Matchmaker,” was a twisty riff on dating-app tech in which Joel McHale gave a more lively performance in under 30 minutes than

he has in 20 episodes of the dead-eyed slog of The Great Indoors (please, CBS, kill that show and set McHale free). Another installment, “Cinethrax,” starring Patton Oswalt, began as a cautionary commentary on the divisiveness of insular nerd-elitism, only to have said insular nerd-elitism ultimately save the day (well, until—spoiler—aliens enslaved the planet). Dimension 404 isn’t a mind-blower, but it’s at least amusingly unpredictable—and now you can binge all six.

Great News Tuesday, April 25 (NBC)

Series Debut: NBC’s last great newsroom comedy was NewsRadio in the ’90s ( 30 Rock doesn’t count, and the hilarious antics of Brian Williams reside on MSNBC), but damned if they don’t keep trying. Great News is set behind the scenes of a cable-news show, The Breakdown, produced by Katie, a—you guessed it—frazzled, unlucky-in-love young career woman who becomes even more frazzled-er when her mom Carol (Andrea Martin) comes aboard as an intern. For a Tina Fey production, Great News lacks the snap of 30 Rock and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, though vets Martin and John Michael Higgins (as The Breakdown’s old-school anchor) are reliably solid. Also, Nicole Richie is … here, for some reason.

Mary Kills People (Lifetime)

The Handmaid’s Tale Wednesday, April 26 (Hulu)

Series Debut: Another bleak dystopian future where the super-rich rule in a fascist theocracy—but wait, there’s more! Women are servile, disposable and mostly barren; those “lucky” enough to be fertile are treated like higher-grade animals, “wombs with two legs.” Fun, right? The Handmaid’s Tale, based on Margaret Atwood’s 1985 novel, was first given the screen treatment in 1990, but lends itself far better to a 10-episode series than that rushed, uneven film. In the society of Gilead, formerAmerican-with-rights-turned-handmaiden Offred (Elisabeth Moss, as fantastic as ever) is the designated babymaker for Commander Waterford (Joseph Fiennes) and his wife Serena Joy (Yvonne Strahovski); dehumanization and ickiness ensue. There are few slivers of light in the darkness here, but the payoff is worth it. Listen to Frost on Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play and billfrost.tv.

Season Premiere: Another season, another seemingly insurmountable clusterfuck for Pied Piper: Thanks to the fallout from using a click-farm to artificially boost the popularity of Richard’s (Thomas Middleditch) clunky compression platform, no one wants to fund Dinesh’s (Kumail Nanjiani) viable and already-blowing-up video-chat app—coder probs, am I right? Silicon Valley, aka Nerd Entourage, makes far more sense if you’ve ever worked in the digital world where the only physical product is the occasional promo hoodie or sport bottle, and egos run rampant (I have; this show nails it uncomfortably well), but the funny is universal. In an unlikely parallel to HBO’s Girls, Season 4 of Silicon Valley sees the crew growing apart—but clothed, thankfully. And I stand by this: A little T.J. Miller goes a long way.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Silicon Valley Sunday, April 23 (HBO)

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CONCERT PREVIEW

4 SA HBOETE &R

SATURDAY, APRIL 22

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With ‘Ménage à Trois,’ three of Salt Lake City’s best bands attempt a deeper musical engagement. BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

ook at that picture. Do you see the lengths to which some musicians will go for attention? Especially singers; they always have to be in the spotlight. So here are Kirk Dath, Sam Smith and Jordan Matthew Young—respectively repping Crook & The Bluff, Pig Eon and Candy’s River House—in their skivvies, just beggin’ for it. Your attention, that is. So many questions, right? Why would the frontmen of three of Salt Lake City’s biggest bands pose in the raw like that? Why do they need more attention if they’re so great? Does Sam Smith really need that much fabric to cover his junk? Is this a new supergroup called Schnooks in the Buff? “I have an awkward chubby,” Smith wisecracks from behind the bar at Patrick’s Pub, where he works. On the other side, Young laughs as he dials Dath, who’s in Phoenix sorting out his father’s estate. Puerility notwithstanding, these men are no schnooks; they’re three of SLC’s hardest-working musicians, possessed of singular visions. In Crook & The Bluff, Dath plots theatrics to complement the band’s cinematic, psychedelic Western-blues songs. Smith is a song machine who simultaneously dropped new albums from both Pig Eon and the Samuel Smith Band in January. Young is the musical nucleus in Candy’s River House, a triple-threat with pen, mic and guitar. All three are distinctly charismatic, supremely gifted, wildly prolific artists who make people take notice. Yet this photo is a bid for attention. It’s from the posters you might have seen around town for Ménage à Trois, an event conceived over drinks in an Escalante parking lot. The Bluff and Candy’s had just performed at the Escalante Smokehouse and, “we were kinda spitballin’ ideas,” Dath says. They wanted to do something more compelling than the standard gig. Ultimately, they devised a way for The Bluff, Candy’s and Pig Eon to be on stage at once, with nonstop music. Dath, Smith and Young open the show with a joint acoustic set, soon joined by their bandmates for a lengthy song-for-song show where, while one band is spotlighted, members of the other acts pop out of the dark for guest solos, while everyone is flanked by dancers and aerialists. In an event like this, Dath says, “the audience gets to see us in a different state.” Or, you know, notice them, period. Although these three bands are respected locally, they perceive a certain apathy from sparse attendance at shows. It’s not a new complaint; local bands have fled the same indifference for the past 20 years, usually moving to musical hotbeds like Portland. Late last year, popular local psych-rockers Max Pain & the Groovies decamped to New York City. This past March, another wellregarded band, Quiet Oaks, told City Weekly they plan to relocate to Nashville later this year. “We can sell-out shows in Chicago and Nashville,” singer-bassist Dane Sandberg said, “but we still haven’t sold out the Urban Lounge.” The “Ménage” bands relate similar concerns. The Bluff and Candy’s already have plans to move to NYC and Los Angeles,

PAUL MONTANO

HOME OF THE

Three, Seeking a Crowd

MUSIC

Left to right: Kirk Dath, Sam Smith and Jordan Matthew Young respectively. This is because, Young says, he can take his band on the road for 30-40 dates in the U.S.—or in Europe, where he was playing just last week—and be treated like a rock star. In Utah, he might have four or five bookings a week, but they’re mostly in Park City because the crowds are larger. “We’ve had plenty of killer shows in Salt Lake that were packed, he says. “We just seem to get more attention out of state.” Dath has experienced similar treatment on The Bluff’s tours. So they’re getting creative, perhaps too late. But it says something that the bands still want to engage SLC music fans. And it’s indicative of a trend among local acts. Bands like The Weekenders and Conquer Monster have teamed up with the Municipal Ballet Co. for performances. Red Bennies moonlight as Jazz Jaguars, playing lounge covers of their own material at the Twilite Lounge every Wednesday, with a different local band sitting in each week. It’s almost like musicians are trying to spice up a stagnant marriage with lingerie or threesomes. But it’s not necessarily a problem specific to SLC. Dath says the whole cookie-cutter idea of a show “needs to be rocked” and that it’s incumbent on the bands to be more adaptable. So, “instead of the audience trying to make us keep up with them, we’re gonna try to make them keep up with us,” he says. Young adds, “We’re giving the current attention span a run for its money.” Smith laughs. “Those poor suckers! We should make ’em drink as much as we do, too, see how that goes.” Dath jokes about putting liquid LSD in the fog machine. Smith suggests liquid molly would be better—“Lock the doors from the inside and we’ll have a giant orgy,” he says. Young deadpans thoughtfully: “If there’s a guaranteed orgy at the end, that would really sell the show.” CW

CROOK & THE BLUFF PRESENTS: MÉNAGE À TROIS

w/ Candy’s River House, Pig Eon Friday, April 21, 9 p.m. The State Room 638 S. State 801-596-3560 $13 presale; $15 day of show 21+ thestateroom.com

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New Expanded Hours for Rye: Monday-Friday from 9am-2pm Saturday and Sunday from 9am-3pm Friday and Sunday from 6pm-11pm www.ryeslc.com

APR 20: NETWORK AFTER

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

APR 20: SLUG LOCALIZED

9PM DOORS FREE SHOW

WORK PARTY BRAIN BAGZ HOT VODKA SEASON OF THE WITCH

APR 21: SCENIC BYWAY

8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

HEAVY DOSE TBA

APR 22: ALT NATION’S ADVANCED

8PM DOORS

PLACEMENT TOUR

MISSION 888 COAST MODERN

APR 24: BETTY WHO

8PM DOORS

VERITE

APR 25: DEVIN THE DUDE

8PM DOORS

ZAC IVIE AZA SHANGHAII BI$HOP GRAN

APR 26: TIM KASHER

8PM DOORS

ALLISON WEISS WESTING

APR 27: LOVE & HUSTLE

8PM DOORS

HOOTY TITO BROWN REGULAR ASS DUDE

APR 28: JAMES MCCARTNEY

6PM DOORS EARLY SHOW

ANNA ROSE

COMING SOON Apr 28: Sadistik May 01: Rock-A-Thon Fundraiser Apr 29: Free Kittens Comedy May 02: Cashmere Cat Apr 29: Betty Who May 03: Moomba / Cumbia Night Apr 29: Astronauts & Aliens Party

ny horror movie that involves a spooky-ass fortune-teller inevitably has that scene where said soothsayer forebodingly flips over a card, revealing the malicious rictus of death—the Grim Reaper. Because of its goth-friendly branding, we tend to associate that particular tarot card with doom, gloom and possibly a scythe to the neck. The actual significance of the tarot death card is much more positive. Any seer worth their crystal ball will tell you it represents transition and evolution—out with the old, in with the new. This aspect of the major arcana guides my lunchtime conversation with Chloe Muse, Christian Austin, Aaron Moura and McCormack Thompson, who spend their nights conjuring dreamy trip-pop elegies as Tarot Death Card. When these four locals originally met in the summer of 2015, their mutual passion for music was little more than experimental fun. “I had only known Aaron for a day,” lead vocalist Muse says. The group started from scratch, with little in the way of concept or structure. After a few independent jam sessions, rhythm guitarist Austin and keyboardist Moura established a songwriting system that set the groundwork for their current creative process. Once Moura and Austin have the skeleton of a song, Muse and Thompson flesh it out with fullbodied vocals and bass, respectively. Moura says an intangible element is what really finishes the songs: “A lot of it has to do with chemistry. Once you have the foundation, it becomes about collaborating in a way that keeps you open to others’ ideas.”

STEPHEN COX

The birth of SLC trip-pop group Tarot Death Card.

Free ticket Tuesday at Rye! 1 entree = 1 ticket at Urban Lounge (while supplies last)

6PM DOORS EARLY SHOW

MUSIC

Don’t Fear the Reaper

This is Tarot Death Card’s secret weapon. Based on the endearing way the bandmates finish each other’s sentences and share inside jokes, it’s clear they possess that rare bond most bands never unearth. They really sensed its presence at an impromptu recording session on a derelict stage on Park City’s Main Street at 1 a.m. “It was the first time we ever played together, and everything just clicked,” Moura says. With a handheld recorder, they tracked a few ideas that Moura and Austin had been “messing around with.” The nocturnal chill of mountain air still exists on songs like the post-apocalyptic “Earth Rebirth,” which features on the band’s upcoming EP, Moon (facebook.com/tarotdeathcard). “That was when we all decided that we wanted to play music for other people instead of just ourselves,” Muse says. Thompson recalls the evening with misty-eyed reverence. “I was hanging out with these three every day, and I naturally just fell in love with the music. I loved them as people already, but the music they created was so powerful that I wanted to make sure the world heard it.” Thompson continued to promote the band from within, securing Tarot Death Card’s first gig at Kilby Court in December 2015, and helping them expand into venues like Urban Lounge and Provo’s Muse Music—which have all been very supportive, Muse says: “Urban Lounge and Kilby Court

Left to right: Aaron Moura, Chloe Muse, Christian Austin and McCormack Thompson

have definitely helped propel us, and we’re extremely grateful.” With time and gigs under their belt, Tarot Death Card rented out an isolated cabin in the middle of Duchesne County to record Moon, which they’re releasing at Kilby on Saturday night. In between their rapidly filling gig schedule, TDC eyes their next project. It’ll be a monthly singles project lasting until they have enough material to record an all-new LP (tentatively slated for release in late 2017/ early 2018). The band’s trajectory is now fullspeed ahead, without regard for what cards the future holds. As for now, the band doesn’t need a gypsy seer to tell them what they’ve already divined for themselves: “It’s all about having positive energy,” Muse says. CW

TAROT DEATH CARD EP RELEASE SHOW

w/ Sister Adolescent, Ritt Momney Saturday, April 22, 7 p.m. Kilby Court 741 S. 330 West 801-364-3538 $6 All ages kilbycourt.com

day n o M s ’ e i Grac

Session

z The Jaz ay and id ll a H David Quartet. w/ Host Vespers sit-in ians to ic s u m l ca ge for lo e band! Open sta th h it w :00pm 0pm-10 :0 7 | y 21+ onda Every M er | Gracie’s is v o C No

Join us for dinner and drinks. Relax on our award winning, heated/misted patio and deck with a seasonally inspired cocktail, an ice cold beer or choose from our extensive wine and spirits selection. Take in a game of pool, shuffleboard or corn hole. Watch the game on one of our 40+ Full HD TV’s, listen to live music, cut the rug on the dance floor or belly up to the bar for intelligent drinks and strong conversation. There is something for everyone here at Gracie’s Gastropub. Open 365 days a year.

326 W TEMPLE | IN THE HEART OF DOWNTOWN | GRACIESSLC.COM

AMAZING $8 LUNCH EVERY WEEKDAY! Saturday & Sunday Brunch, Mimosa, and Mary THURSDAY:

FRIDAY:

Will Baxter Band @ 8:00

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SATURDAY:

SUNDAY:

DJ Sneeky Long @ 9:00

Sleep in! Brunch served ALL DAY!! MONDAY: Micro Monday & Geeks Who Drink Trivia @ 7:00! TUESDAY:

Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck! @ 9:00 WEDNESDAY:

JT Draper @ 7:00, followed by VJ Birdman on the Big Screen

AS ALWAYS, NO COVER!

BRANCHES

W/ DEREK HARMON OF UVLUU AND THE ANCHORAGE

ROOFTOP PATIO IS OPEN!

SATURDAY, APRIL 22ND

WHISKERMAN W/ COYOTE AND THE MOON

FRIDAY, APRIL 21ST

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32 Exchange Place • 801-322-3200 www.twistslc.com • 11:00am - 1:00am

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APRIL 20, 2017 | 57

1492 S. STATE · 801.468.1492 · PIPERDOWNPUB.COM

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LIVE

BY RANDY HARWARD, KEITH MCDONALD, BRIAN STAKER & LEE ZIMMERMAN

THURSDAY 4/20 Credit Beats Antique with applying a certain truth in advertising. The beat quotient is a constant and, as for the antique reference, they affirm a certain reverence for the roots. That’s demonstrated in their music, which draws from old-school jazz, hip-hop, world influences and electronica that finds them venturing freely into even more unexpected realms where ambiance and atmosphere dominate the sound. (A cover of the Grateful Dead’s “New Speedway Boogie” fits in fine with tribal fusion forays and a belly-dancing beat.) The band’s new album, Shadowbox, reflects that disparate approach, and with an array of special guests—including the revered Preservation Hall Jazz Band—Beats Antique proves that no boundary can’t be broken. Expect them to deliver a weird, wild vibe, chock full of bass and boogie. Mr. Bill opens. (Lee Zimmerman) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 7:30 p.m., $25 presale; $28 day of show, 21+, depotslc.com

Kansas

The ’70s and ’80s saw a rise to prominence by a format known as Album Oriented Rock (AOR), and no band typified that blend of progressive posturing and commercial concerns better than Kansas. With a sound that incorporated synths and violins into heroic heartland anthems, they dominated rock radio alongside such like-minded outfits as Journey, Yes, Genesis and Styx. Their signature song, “Carry On Wayward Son,” easily rivals “Stairway to Heaven” and “Sweet Home Alabama” as far as

Tango West

SEQUOIA EMMANUELLE

Beats Antique, Mr. Bill

airwave overkill is concerned. With two early members still at the helm—guitarist Rich Williams and drummer Phil Ehart—they continue to carry on four decades later. (LZ) Eccles Theater, Delta Performance Hall, 131 S. Main, 8 p.m., $25-$275, all ages, live-at-the-eccles.com

Tango West: 100 Years of Tango

Just as springtime weather emerges in full bloom (give or take a few Utah snowstorms), the Gallivan Center’s Excellence in the Community free concert series commences, turning the plaza’s outdoor performance area into a space as comfortable as your backyard, with some of the best local jazz musicians. The tango is known as the dance of love, and Tango West is a sextet expert in interweaving the torrid rhythms and supple instrumentation that makes the art form as entrancing—and just plain hot—as it was when it was developed in the 1880s. (Brian Staker) The Gallivan Center, 239 S. Main, 7:30 p.m., free, all ages, excellenceconcerts.org

Beats Antique

SATURDAY 4/22

Snoop Dogg Wellness Retreat feat. Wiz Khalifa, Cypress Hill and Flatbush Zombies

A wellness retreat? See what happens when Snoop Dogg starts hangin’ around with Martha Stewart? Is that crafty woman turning my man into a regular Snoopsie Homemaker— by dosing him with her own strain of weed, an OG Kush-potpourri hybrid called Marthajuana? Or maybe the name of this hip-hop package tour is a simple medicinal reference, alluding to the blissful euphoria one gets when they indulge in the good-good. Those mellow moments are therapeutic, after all, and go so well with beats and rhymes—even the simpleton verses of Wiz Khalifa, the bathroom-break entry on this otherwise bomb-ass bill. (Randy Harward) Usana Amphitheatre, 5150 S. 6055 West), 6:30 p.m., $40-$80, usana-amp.com

Snoop Dogg

JØRUND FØRELAND PEDERSEN

DANIEL GORDER

58 | APRIL 20, 2017

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THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

LIVE

FREE SHUTTLE TO ALL R S L HOME GAMES FROM SUE’S STATE LOCATION

APRIL 22, ATL VS RSL WATCH ALL RSL AWAY GAMES AT A BAR NAMED SUE

HIGHLAND live music +1 420RTY HERBAN EMPIRE & SUN DIVIDE PA

SUSIE CONSTANTINO

FRI MONDAY 4/24

The Obsessed

The Obsessed, Karma to Burn, Fatso Jetson, MuckRaker

What better way for rapper Devin the Dude (born Devin Copeland) to reconnect with fans (and make new ones) than touring behind a new album around the biggest stoner holiday in the world? Copeland started rhyming with Jugg Mugg and Rob Quest in the Odd Squad before embarking on a 19-year solo stint under the Rap-A-Lot label. Now, he’s rapping under his own umbrella, the Coughee Brothaz Enterprise, with a new LP called Acoustic Levitation. It’s the same formula as always: self-evaluation, debauchery and rhymes—on weed. Locals Zac Ivie, AZA, Shanghaii and Bi$hop Gran open the show. (Keith McDonald) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $18 presale; $20 day of show, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

KARAOKE

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APRIL 20, 2017 | 59

GINA CLYNE

MON & THURS

3928 HIGHLAND DR

Terry Malts, Fossil Arms, The Elders

How many bands’ albums were released as the result of losing a bet? San Francisco power-pop band Terry Malts’ (sounds like a solo act—wasn’t that the singer in The Specials?) debut Killing Time (Slumberland Records, 2012) was followed up with 2013’s Nobody Realizes This is Nowhere, a play on Neil Young’s album Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere. Their newest, 2016’s Lost at the Party, was recorded in Los Angeles, where guitarist/vocalist Corey Cunningham had relocated, and it finds them adding depth and compositional variety to their previously punky output. (BS) Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West, 7 p.m., $10, all ages, kilbycourt.com

CAVEMAN BOULEVARD

! NEW

Devin the Dude, Zac Ivie, AZA, Shanghaii, Bi$hop Gran

WEDNESDAY 4/26

SAT

Terry Malts

TUESDAY 4/25

REGGAE, GREEN SHOTS, & WHISKEY

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There are so many weed jokes to make with this lineup of venerable stoner-doom bands. But that would be redundant (see Snoop), not to mention a shameful dismissal of the raw rock ’n’ roll bitchin’-ness represented here. The Obsessed is led by Scott “Wino” Weinrich, one of the genre’s most prolific artists, having fronted such esteemed bands as Saint Vitus, Spirit Caravan, The Hidden Hand and Premonition 13, among others. Wino’s trotting out the band to promote Sacred (Relapse, 2017), which is only the fourth album in the group’s nearly four-decade existence. They alone are worth the price of admission, but adding the roaring desert rock of genre luminaries Karma to Burn and Fatso Jetson—two bands with twice the discography in half the time, and the Southern-fried stonersounds of MuckRaker, and this isn’t a show—it’s a festival. (RH) Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $15 presale; $18 day of show, 21+, metromusichall.com

CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAY WITH

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saturday, april 22

DJ LATU

Weeknights

friDAY 4/21

Live Music

saturday 4/22

Live Music

monday

OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

Matt Monson’s Studio

tuesday

LOCAL NIGHTS OUT

opal hill drive

wednesday

THE TRIVIA FACTORY 7PM

daverse i the krew

Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

Great food

Fukui Abe, Robyn Banks

Hayley McLaughlin, Leta Baker, Julie Fletcher

5.99 lunch special

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60 | APRIL 20, 2017

KARAOKE & pick-a-prize bingo

wednesday 4/19

LIVE Music

MONDAY - FRIDAY

sunday 4/23

sunday funday w/ bad donkey

Tuesday 4/25

open mic night

YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM

Coming soon 4/29

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another lost year

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Desarae Lee, Jared Charelston, Emma Rodriguez, Elyse Gubler

2nd annual royal fest ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

SUNDAY 4/23

CONCERTS & CLUBS

JIMMY HUBBARD

Mastodon, Eagles of Death Metal, Russian Circles

Mastodon is a monolithic, metal-making machine. The Atlanta alt-metal group recently released their latest creation upon the world in Emperor of Sand (Reprise), a powerful, progressive punch to the ears—and all that is holy. The band chronicled the creative process behind its seventh album in a series of videos on their official YouTube channel. In the mini-docs, band members explain how personal tragedies like singer-bassist Troy Sanders’ wife’s cancer battle and the loss of guitarist Bill Kelliher’s mother to the same disease inspired the album. “Ever since Crack the Skye, we’ve kind of taken the stance that, whatever tragedies in your life—that everyone goes through—we’re lucky enough to have this thing to put it in, and that’s Mastodon,” drummer Brann Dailor says in the first installment. Eagles of Death Metal and Russian Circles open. All tickets purchased online include a physical or digital copy of Emperor. (Justin Criado) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 6:30 p.m., $34.50 presale; $39.50 day of show, all ages, thecomplexslc.com

4.26 4.27 4.28 4.29

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

APRIL 20, 2017 | 61

TIM OUBURG MORGAN SNOW SUPERBUBBLE RICK GERBER & THE NIGHTCAPS

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4.20 LAKE EFFECT 4.21 FAT PAW 4.22 DARIUS JACKSON AND THE MIGHTY TEXAS BLUES BAND 4.24 OPEN BLUES JAM HOSTED BY ROBBY’S BLUES EXPLOSION

SPIRITS • FOOD • GOOD COMPANY

has arrived!

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Patio Time

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THURSDAY 4/20 LIVE MUSIC

LIVE MUSIC

KARAOKE (THURS) PHOENIX SOFT TIP DARTS

DIAMOND POOL TABLES LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS

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CONCERTS & CLUBS

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dueling Pianos: Dave & JD (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) The New Wave (’80s Night) (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Bear Grillz (Sky)

KARAOKE

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90)

FRIDAY 4/21 LIVE MUSIC

| CITY WEEKLY |

62 | APRIL 20, 2017

Alan Michael (Garage on Beck) Beats Antique + Mr. Bill (The Depot) see p. 58 Brain Bagz + Hot Vodka + Season of the Witch (The Urban Lounge) Joe Robinson + New War + Nick Johnson + Aaron Jacques (Club X) Kansas (Eccles Center) see p. 58 Matthew and the Hope (The Green Pig Pub) Quiet Oaks + The Hound Mystic + Middle Mountain (Kilby Court) Tango West (Gallivan Center) see p. 58 Thrive + Royal Bliss (reggae set) + Animo Cruz + DJ Street Jesus (The Royal) Watt Chamberlin + Juice Rakz + Yung Bosna + Daniel + HK Memphis (Metro Music Hall)

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Allred + Luke Mitchem (Velour Live Music Gallery) Après Live Music (Park City Mountain) Après Ski (The Cabin) BassMint Pros (Brewskis) Darius Jackson (Garage on Beck) Day Diablo (Outlaw Saloon) Dr. Bob (The Cabin) Hazzard County (The Outlaw Saloon) Hip-Hop Roots w/ Vinnie Cassius + Zigga + Ceelos + Lucid Flow Music + Paria + DJ IntimiN8 (Metro Music Hall) Joe Robinson (Eccles Theatre) Kyle + Cousin Stizz (The Complex) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) L.O.L. (Club 90) Ménage à Trois feat. Crook & The Bluff + Candy’s River House + Pig Eon (The State Room) see p. 54 Mona + Flagship (Kilby Court)

Mountain Country + Backyard Revival (Broadview University) Royal Bliss + Morgan Whitney (The Royal) Sounds Like Teen Spirit (The Spur) SugarBone (Liquid Joe’s) Tactical Martians (Funk ’n’ Dive Bar) Vandella + Vintage Overdrive + Mojave Jive (The Loading Dock) Wasatch Music Festival feat. Cold War Kids + American Authors (John M. Huntsman Center) The Wednesday People (Utah’s Listening Room)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy and Jules (Tavernacle) Friday Night Fun (All-Request Dance) w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise (The Red Door) Ritual feat. Stööki Sound + Chase Manhattan + BT5K (Sky)

SATURDAY 4/22 LIVE MUSIC

All Things Blue (Funk ’n’ Dive Bar) Après Live Music (Park City Mountain) Après Ski (The Cabin) Branches (Piper Down Pub) Coheed and Cambria + The Dear Hunter (The Complex) The Coverdogs (Brewskis) Crook & The Bluff (Garage on Beck) The Expendables + RDGLDGRN + Tribal Theory (The Depot) Hazard Country (The Outlaw Saloon) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Lake Effect (The Spur) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) Magda Vega + Salt Lake Spitfires (Big Willie’s) The Mailboxes (Alleged) Metro Music Hall Grand Re-Opening Party, w/ Civil Lust, Super 78, DJ Feral Cat (Metro Music Hall) Missio + 888 + Coast Modern (The Urban Lounge) The New Electric Sound + The Solarists + Sonsapapa (Velour) Live Trio (The Red Door) Opal Hill Drive + The Krew + Daverse (The Royal) Snoop Dogg Wellness Retreat, w/ Wiz Khalifa + Cypress Hill + Flatbush Zombies (USANA Amphitheatre) see p. 58

FRIDAYS

BAR FLY

RANDY HARWARD

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 @ Club Try-Angles

Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Tarot Death Card + Sister Adolescent + Ritt Momney (Kilby Court) see p. 56 Tony Rosado (The Core) Whiskerman (Piper Down Pub)

Dueling Pianos feat. Troy and Jules (Tavernacle) DJ Brisk (Bourbon House) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist)

SUNDAY 4/23 Après Live Music (Park City Mountain) Après Ski (The Cabin) Brooke Mackintosh (Lighthouse Lounge) Cascade Crescendo (Gracie’s) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) Mastodon + Eagles of Death Metal + Russian Circles (The Complex) see p. 61

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

LIVE MUSIC

Betty Who + Vérité (The Urban Lounge) The Obsessed + Karma to Burn + Fatso Jetson + MuckRaker (Metro Music Hall) see p. 59

Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig)

21+

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Cabin Fever & Miss DJ Lux (The Cabin) Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU)

WEDNESDAY 4/26 LIVE MUSIC

Brooke Mackintosh (Zucca Trattoria) The Fabulous Miss Wendy + Mythological Horses + Suburban Hell Kill + The Hung Ups (Club X) Harp Twins (Utah Cultural Celebration Center) Live Jazz (Club 90) Terry Malts + Fossil Arms + Nasty Nasty (Kilby Court) see p. 59 Thank You Scientist + Gloe (Metro Music Hall) Tim Kasher + Allison Weiss (The Urban Lounge) Tony Oros (The Spur Bar and Grill)

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DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE DJ Birdman (Twist) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Open Mic (Velour Live Music Gallery) Temple (Gothic and Industrial) w/ DJ Mistress Nancy (Area 51)

TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

APRIL 20, 2017 | 63

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Devin the Dude + Zac Ivie + AZA + Shanghaii + Bi$hop Gran (The Urban Lounge) see p. 59 Kaia Kena (The Spur Bar and Grill) The Main Squeeze + Scenic Byway (Kilby Court) Matt Woods (The Heavy Metal Shop) Mike Love + Desert Rhythm Project + Makisi (Metro Music Hall)

| CITY WEEKLY |

MONDAY 4/24

LIVE MUSIC

Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar and Grill) DJ Curtis Strange (Willie’s Lounge) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig Pub) Red Cup Event w/ DJ Juggy (Downstairs)

LIVE MUSIC FRIDAY & SATURDAY NIGHTS

TUESDAY 4/25

LIVE MUSIC

Open Blues Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub) Open Mic (The Cabin)

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

If you’re not all caught up with this season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, then it’s time to binge that minge and sissy that walk on over to Try-Angles this Friday night. It’s one thing to embrace the majesty of America’s finest queens from the comfort of your own home, but the batshit pageantry of competitive reality TV and drag shows is only heightened within the walls of Try-Angles during their weekly event. The high-def projection screen and thumping sound system that they roll out for Friday nights is the only way to fully appreciate the magnificence of RuPaul and her retinue of Season 9 contestants. I happened to catch the third episode of the current season last week, and the group setting not only made the insane challenge more entertaining—the contestants had to create princess personas and matching CGI sidekicks—but the girls’ reflection on the Pulse Nightclub shooting created a moment of somber poignancy for those in attendance. Fans of Drag Race are cut from a friendlier cloth than those of other competitive reality shows, and it wasn’t long before I heard the consensus that plussized diva Eureka should take home the prize this year—”It’s about time a big girl wins,” one attendee said. I couldn’t agree more. Ever since I heard the phrase “glamor toad” in an earlier season, I’ve been waiting for the day when a fullfigured queen would sashay her way to victory. (Alex Springer) Club Try-Angles, 251 W. 900 South, 6 p.m. (encore at 7 p.m.), no cover, clubtryangles.com

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE

IVANKA

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

| CITY WEEKLY |

APRIL 20, 2017 | 65

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

Last week’s answers

SUDOKU

1. 1862 Civil War battle site 2. Comment that might come soon after “Mwah!” 3. Rise and shine

43. Former telecom giant 44. Harry Potter’s owl 45. Chaz ____, author of “The Story of How I Became a Man” 46. When many start the workday 47. Words on an Election Day sticker 48. Race for, as the finish line 50. Dessert with a hyphen 53. Modern journal 54. Alamuddin who clerked for Sonia Sotomayor before marrying George Clooney 57. “What can ____ to make it up to you?” 58. Cleverness 59. ____-Caps (candy)

DOWN

4. Cookie holders 5. “Oh, no!” 6. Org. with an annual list of top baby names 7. Jeweler’s unit 8. Many a school benefactor 9. “Apocalypse Now” setting, familiarly 10. Container at a coffeehouse that might read “Thanks a latte!” 11. Moved to first class 12. Delta Delta Delta, e.g. 13. Paramount and Universal, e.g. 18. Cafeteria item 23. ____ snail’s pace 25. Something clickable 26. Caribbean island that Columbus visited in 1493 27. Play after some snaps, in brief 29. Actor Cage, in tabloids 30. Michael of “Saturday Night Live” 32. Approves 34. He was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Barack Obama one week before Obama left the White House in 2017 35. Places abuzz with activity? 36. Actors Asner and O’Neill 37. Zilch 38. “Tight” NFL position 39. Language from which “safari” comes

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1. Candidate lists 7. “Critique of Pure Reason” philosopher 11. ____ Arizona (Pearl Harbor memorial) 14. Long and Mandel 15. Jai ____ 16. Stew holder 17. She hopes you’ll fill in this answer’s circled letter or she’ll cry “Ugh! I’m turning into my mother!” 19. “Despicable Me” supervillain 20. Albanian coins 21. Hit head-on 22. Main character of TV’s “The Pretender” 24. Santana’s “____ Como Va” 25. It includes a 35-min. writing sample 27. Like Al Jazeera 28. Sean of Fox News 30. You might have a handle on it 31. Publicity 32. Cries of surprise 33. Alf and Mork, for short 34. She hopes you’ll fill in this answer’s circled letters or she’ll cry “Ugh! I’m turning into my husband!” 39. Soak (up) 40. Some recap highlights 41. Ages and ages 42. Gym equipment 45. Product introduced by Johnson & Johnson in 1920 that was 3 inches wide and 8 inches long 49. Goes down 50. It’s best when cracked 51. Fed. electricity provider since 1933 52. Put on the payroll 53. First name in ice cream 54. Parts of décadas 55. Tyrannical Amin 56. She hopes you’ll fill in this answer’s circled letters or she’ll cry “Ugh! I’m turning into my dad!” 60. Stan of Marvel Comics 61. Kelly Clarkson was the first one, informally 62. Captured, as fish 63. ____ and outs 64. Kind of boots popular in the ‘60s 65. “Holy ____!”

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Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Fantasize about sipping pear nectar, listening to cello music and inhaling the aroma of musky amber and caressing velvet, cashmere and silk. Imagine how it would feel to be healed by inspiring memories, sweet awakenings, shimmering delights and delicious epiphanies. I expect experiences like these to be extra available in the coming weeks. But they won’t necessarily come easily. You will have to expend effort to ensure they actually occur. So be alert for them. Seek them out. Track them down. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Contagion might work in your favor, but it could also undermine you. On the one hand, your enthusiasm is likely to ripple out and inspire people whose help you could use. On the other hand, you might be more sensitive than usual to the obnoxious vibes of manipulators. But now that I’ve revealed this useful tip, let’s hope you will be able to maximize the positive kind of contagion and neutralize the negative. Here’s one suggestion that might help: Visualize yourself surrounded by a golden force field that projects your good ideas far and wide while repelling the disagreeable stuff.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) I love to see you Virgos flirt with the uncharted and the uncanny and the indescribable. I get thrills and chills whenever I watch your fine mind trying to make sense of the fabulous, foreign and unfathomable. What other sign can cozy up to exotic wonders and explore forbidden zones with as much no-nonsense pragmatism as you? If anyone can capture lightning in a bottle or get ahold of magic beans that actually work, you can.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) TODD RUNDGREN Zoologists say that cannibalizing in the THEoffspring DEPOTis· common 21+ animal kingdom, even amongPRICE: species that$30.00 care tenderly for their young. So when critters eat their kids, it’s definitely “natural.” $ CWweeks, STORE: But I trust that in the coming you won’t 21.00 devour your own children. Nor, I hope, will you engage in any behavior that metaphorically resembles such an act. I suspect that you might be at a low ebb in your relationship with some creation or handiwork or influence that you generated out of love. But please don’t abolish it, dissolve it or abandon it. Just the opposite, in fact: Intensify your efforts to nurture it. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Your astrological house of communication will be the scene of substantial clamor and ruckus in the coming weeks. A bit of the hubbub will be flashy but empty. But much of it should be pretty interesting, and some of it will even be useful. To get the best possible results, be patient and objective rather than jumpy and reactive. Try to find the deep codes buried inside the mixed messages. Discern the hidden meanings lurking within the tall tales and reckless gossip. If you can deal calmly with the turbulent flow, you will give your social circle a valuable gift. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) The best oracular advice you’ll get in the coming days probably won’t arise from your dreams or an astrological reading or a session with a psychic, but rather by way of seemingly random signals, like an overheard conversation or a sign on the side of a bus or a scrap of paper you find lying on the ground. And I bet the most useful relationship guidance you receive won’t be from an expert, but maybe from a blog you stumble upon or a barista at a café or one of your old journal entries. Be alert for other ways this theme is operating, as well. The usual sources might not have useful info about their specialties. Your assignment is to gather up accidental inspiration and unlikely teachings. ARIES (March 21-April 19) After George Washington was elected as the first president of the United States, he had to move from his home in Virginia to New York City, which at the time was the center of the American government. But there was a problem: He didn’t have enough cash on hand to pay for his long-distance relocation, so he was forced to scrape up a loan. Fortunately, he was resourceful and persistent in doing so. The money arrived in time for him to attend his own inauguration. I urge you to be like Washington in the coming weeks, Aries. Do whatever’s necessary to get the funds you need to finance your life’s next chapter.

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) A friend told me about a trick used by his grandmother, a farmer. When her brooding hens stopped laying eggs, she put them in pillowcases that she then hung from a clothesline in a stiff breeze. After the hens were blown around for a while, she returned them to their cozy digs. It didn’t hurt them, and she swore it put them back on track with their egg-laying. I’m not comfortable with this strategy. It’s too extreme for an animal lover like myself. (And I’m glad I don’t have to deal with recalcitrant hens.) But maybe it’s an apt metaphor or poetic prod for your use right now. What could you do to stimulate your own creative production?

JANUARY 16TH

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) In the coming weeks, there will be helpers whose actions will nudge you—sometimes inadvertently—toward a higher level of professionalism. You will find it natural to wield more power and you will be more effective in offering your unique gifts. Now maybe you imagine you have already been performing at the peak of your ability, but I bet you will discover—with a mix of alarm and excitement—that you can become even more excellent. Be greater, Leo! Do better! Live stronger! (P.S.: As you ascend to this new level of competence, I advise you to be humbly aware of your weaknesses and immaturities. As your clout rises, you can’t afford to indulge in self-delusions.)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “If I had nine hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first six sharpening my ax,” Abraham Lincoln, one of America’s most productive presidents, said. I know you Sagittarians are more renowned for your bold, improvisational actions than your careful planning and strategic preparation, but I think the coming weeks will be a time when you can and should adopt Lincoln’s approach. The readier you are, the freer you’ll be to apply your skills effectively and wield your power precisely.

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CANCER (June 21-July 22) A reader named Kris X sent me a rebuke. “You’re not a guru or a shaman,” he sneered. “Your horoscopes are too filled with the slippery stench of poetry to be useful for spiritual seekers.” Here’s my response: “Thank you, sir! I don’t consider myself a guru or shaman, either. It’s not my mission to be an all-knowing authority who hands down foolproof advice. Rather, I’m an apprentice to the Muse of Curiosity. I like to wrestle with useful, beautiful paradoxes. My goal is to be a joyful rebel stirring up benevolent trouble, to be a cheerleader for the creative imagination.” So now I ask you, my fellow Cancerian: How do you avoid getting trapped in molds that people pressure you to fit inside? Are you skilled at being yourself even if that’s different from what’s expected of you? What are the soulful roles you choose to embody, despite the fact that almost no one understands them? Now is a good time to meditate on these matters.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Now would be an excellent time to add deft new nuances to the ways you kiss, lick, hug, snuggle, caress and fondle. Is there a worthy adventurer who will help you experiment with these activities? If not, use your pillow, your own body, a realistic life-sized robot or your imagination. This exercise will be a good warm-up for your other assignment, which is to upgrade your intimacy skills. How might you do that? Hone and refine your abilities to get close to people. Listen deeper, collaborate stronger, compromise smarter and give more. Do you have any other ideas?

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CONTACT US NOW TO PLACE YOUR RECRUITMENT ADS 801-413-0947 or JSMITH@CITYWEEKLY.NET For more Employment Opportunities, go online to www.utahjobcenter.com

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AUTO MECHANIC NEEDED Magilla Entertainment Utahjobcenter.com ELECTRICIANS (LICENSED) Jeremy’s electrical maintenance Utahjobcenter.com MARKETING EVENTS ASSISTANT SirsiDynix Utahjobcenter.com OUTSIDE SALES REPRESENTATIVE Champion Window Company Utahjobcenter.com CLASS A CDL INDEPENDENT CONTRACTOR TRUCK DRIVER - OTR Kelle’s Transport Utahjobcenter.com TEAM LEAD, STUDENT SERVICES (INTERNAL) (8066-417) Western Governors University Utahjobcenter.com

ACCOUNTS PAYABLE CLERK Back Country Store Utahjobcenter.com PERFORMANCE ACCOUNT SPECIALIST O.C. Tanner Recognition Company Utahjobcenter.com DEVELOPER 2 Application Development Comcast Utahjobcenter.com CULINARY TEAM MEMBER Whole Foods, Salt Lake City Utahjobcenter.com OPERATIONS MANAGER 24 Hour Fitness Utahjobcenter.com

Merchandising Odgen, Salt Lake, Provo

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WE ARE HIRING HIRING KITCHEN HELPER, LINE COOK, DISH WASHER $10-$15 PER HOUR; SERVERS $3-$5 PER HOUR PLUS TIPS. ASSISTANT MANAGER $15-20 FULL AND PART TIME AVAILABLE!

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is looking for editorial interns for the summer 2017 term.

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Do you love media, want to be part of a thriving newsroom and have a desire to hone your writing chops? We’re on the hunt for hard workers to assist in the inputting of online events and writing of blurbs/articles for our award-winning weekly paper and daily website.

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Requirements: • Be available 10-12 hours a week starting Friday, May 5. • An interest in pursuing journalism as a career is a must. • As is a strong desire to add to City Weekly’s established, alternative voice. • You think outside the box, know how to take direction and pay attention to detail. • Ability to get along with others and keep your cool while working on deadline is non-negotiable.

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Lighting up our Nights

Las Vegas is known for many things: monolithic hotels, fine dining, the strip and Cirque du Soleil shows. And, of course, the iconic glittering neon signs—visuals that are unique to this part of the West. As old hotels have been replaced by new giants, much of that scintillating signage we all knew and loved has been taken down and stored on a desert lot that’s been turned into a museum. The Neon Museum’s Neon Boneyard collection opened to the public in 2012, featuring 2 acres of 200 historic signs—only seven of which have been restored. Inside the visitor’s center on 770 Las Vegas Blvd., there are smaller signs and a kitschy space used for weddings and special events. The cool thing for devotees of this old art form is that you can take an hour-long guided tour, and it’s open for reservations seven days a week. If you don’t have time, you can see other signs on a self-guided tour that includes a gallery of iconic electric logos from the Lucky Cuss Motel, the Bow and Arrow Motel, the Silver Slipper, Society Cleaners, Binion’s Horseshoe, the Normandie Motel, the Hacienda’s famous horse-and-rider sign, the Landmark and Fifth Street Liquors. Tickets are $19, but you can upgrade to one that includes the Mob Museum collection. In South Salt Lake, you might notice that the Ritz Classic bowling pin is being removed from the old bowling alley at 2265 S. State. The giant sign was about to topple, due to rust and neglect, and is being recycled at a metal dump. But a new one exactly like it will soon go up in its place as part of the signage for 285 residential units that will replace the old Ritz Classic. We don’t have a neon museum in Utah, nor do we have good laws that protect the signs either, although private citizens and the city are working together to protect the classic old glass artwork. Think of signs still standing or removed just in Sugar House—Nu-Crisp Popcorn, Salt Lake Costume Co., Stark Steering, Tampico and the Granite Furniture Sputnik. The owner of Rainbow Neon Sign Co. in South Salt Lake is working with citizen preservationists to restore some of our electric history. Look up from your phones when you’re taking your next Lyft or Uber at night—there’s history all along our urban skyline. Did you know the Walker Center sign changes color to tell us the weather? n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

Poets Corner

MOTOR CYCLES

PLEASE! Watch out for ME! I don’t want to DIE! But... compelled... I FLY! And LEAN... WAY round the bend... Drop a gear... start again... TOTAL view! Me and you! Little SCREAMER! Day or night. Stress... AWAY! Asphalt flight... HARD acceleration yearn. PLAY the gears! Reset... return. Rejuvenated! Go again. KEN CORBET T

Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101 or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

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Try, Try Again Samuel West announced in April that his Museum of Failure will open in Helsingborg, Sweden, in June, to commemorate innovation missteps that might serve as inspiration for future successes. Among the initial exhibits: coffee-infused Coca-Cola; the Bic “For Her” pen (because women’s handwriting needs are surely unique); the Twitter Peek (a 2009 device that does nothing except send and receive tweets, and with a screen only 25 characters wide); and Harley-Davidson’s 1990s line of colognes (which West said is, in retrospect, as appealing as “oil and gas fumes”). His is only the latest attempt to immortalize failure with a museum. Previous attempts, such as those in 2007 and 2014, apparently failed.

WEIRD

Government in Action Toronto, Ontario, Superior Court Justice Alex Pazaratz finally ridded his docket of the maddening, freeloading couple that had quibbled incessantly about each other’s “harassments.” Neither Noora Abdulaali, 32, nor her now-ex-husband, Kadhim Salih, 43, had worked a day in the five years since they immigrated from Iraq, having almost immediately gone on disability benefits and begun exploiting Legal Aid Toronto in their many attempts to one-up each other with restraining orders. Approving the couple’s settlement in March, Judge Pazaratz declared: “The next time anyone at Legal Aid Ontario tells you they’re short of money, don’t believe it. … Not if they’re funding cases like this.” n In May, a new restaurant-disclosure regulation mandated by

the Affordable Care Act is scheduled to kick in, requiring eateries (except small chains and independents) to post calorie counts for all menu items including variations—which a Domino’s Pizza executive said meant, for his company, 34 million calorie listings. The executive called the regulation, for the pizza industry, “a 20th-century approach to a 21st-century question,” since for many establishments, orders increasingly arrive online or by phone.

n New for Valentine’s Day from the sayitwithbeef.com: a bouquet

of beef jerky slices, formed to resemble a dozen full-petaled roses ($59). Daisies are also available. Chief selling point: Flowers die quickly, but jerky is forever.

Hipsters on the Rise The Columbia Room bar in Washington, D.C., recently introduced the “In Search of Time Past” cocktail—splashed with a tincture of old, musty books. Management vacuum-sealed pages with grapeseed oil, then “fat-washed” them with a neutral high-proof spirit, and added a vintage sherry, mushroom cordial and eucalyptus. n The California reggae rock band Slightly Stoopid recently pro-

Pretentions The telephone area code in the English city of Bath (01225) is different than that of adjacent Radstock (01761) and probably better explained by landline telephone infrastructure than a legal boundary. However, a Bath councilwoman said in April that she

Magnificent Evolvers Human populations in Chile’s Atacama desert have apparently developed a tolerance for arsenic 100 times as powerful as the World Health Organization’s maximum safe level, according to recent research by University of Chile scientists.

n While 80 percent of Americans age 45 or older have calciumcluttered blood veins (atherosclerosis), about 80 percent of Bolivian Tsimane hunter-gatherers in the Amazon have clean veins, according to an April report in The Lancet. Keys for having “the healthiest hearts in the world”: Walk a lot and eat monkey, wild pig and piranha.

Awesome University of Basel biologists writing in the journal Science of Nature in March calculated that the global population of spiders consumes at least 400 million tons of prey yearly—about as much, by weight, as the total of meat and fish consumed by all humans. n University of Utah researchers trained surveillance cameras on dead animals in a local desert to study scavenger behavior and were apparently astonished to witness the disappearances of two bait cows. Over the course of five days, according to the biologists’ recent journal article, two badgers, working around the clock for days, had dug adjacent holes and completely buried the cows for storage and/or to keep the carcasses from competitors.

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News You Can Use A study published in the journal Endocrinology in March suggested that whole-body vibration might be just as effective as regular exercise. The fine print: Vibration was shown only to aid “global bone formation,” which is not as useful for some people as weight loss, which was not studied, and anyway, the study was conducted on mice. Nonetheless, even for a mouse immobile on a vibrating machine, muscles contracted and relaxed multiple times per second. This fine print will soon be useful when hucksters learn of the study and try to sell gullible humans a miracle weight-loss machine. The Aristocrats! Prince George’s County, Md., police officer James Sims, 30, pleaded guilty to four counts of misdemeanor “visual surveillance with prurient interest” and in February was sentenced to probation, though his termination investigation was still ongoing. His fourth event, said prosecutors, in a Sports Authority store, was taking an up-skirt photo of a woman who, as Sims discovered, was also a cop. Wild Maryland! A Worcester County, Md., judge fined Ellis Rollins $1,000 in February and gave him a suspended sentence—for the June 2016 ostentatious nude dancing and sex with his wife at an Ocean City hotel window in view of other people on holiday. At the time, Rollins was the Cecil County attorney, but has since resigned. Timeless Sayings in the News A tanker truck overturned on a Los Angeles freeway on April 4, spilling its contents, injuring seven and inconveniencing hundreds (with at least a few surely tearful, since the tanker was hauling milk). And, at a Parks Canada station restroom in Banff, Alberta, on April 1, visitors found, inexplicably, three black bear cubs inside. Although they were not reported to have used the facilities, it is still safe to assume that bears relieve themselves in the woods. Thanks this week to Stan Kaplan and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

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APRIL 20, 2017 | 71

duced a vinyl record that was smokable, according to Billboard magazine—using a “super resinous variety of hashish” mastered at the Los Angeles studio Capsule Labs. The first two versions’ sound quality disappointed and were apparently quickly smoked, but a third is in production.

All saints, sinners, sisterwives and...

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New World Order In March, Harvard Medical School technicians announced a smartphone app to give fertility-conscious men an accurate semen analysis, including sperm concentration, motility and total count—costing probably less than $10. Included is a magnification attachment and a “microfluidic” chip. The insertable app magnifies and photographs the “loaded” chip, instantly reporting the results. To answer the most frequent question: No, semen never touches your phone. The device still needs Food and Drug Administration approval.

is dealing with complaints by 10 new residents who paid high-end prices for their homes only to find that they came with the 01761 code. Admitted one Bath resident, “I do consider my phone number to be part of my identity.”

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Redneck Chronicles Dennis Smith, 65, was arrested in Senoia, Ga., and charged with stealing dirt from the elderly widow of the man Smith said had given him permission to take it. Smith, a “dirt broker,” had taken more than 180 dump-truck loads.

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

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