City Weekly June 8, 2017

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T J U N E 8 , 2 0 1 7 | V O L . 3 4 N 0 . 2

Warrior

Spirit A Maori Mormon wants the church held accountable for erasing his heritage.

By Stephen Dark

p. 12 >> The Amazing Race: Stacking up 18 Chaffetz -O- Meter

Congressional hopefuls on the Chaffetz-O-Meter

p. 8 >> Andy Cohen on touring

and the infamous Kathy Griffin pic

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY HOUSING FIRST?

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints takes the City Creek model global. But at what cost?

Cover photography by Steven Vargo stevenvargo.com

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4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 18 A&E 23 DINE 29 CINEMA 31 TRUE TV 32 MUSIC 45 COMMUNITY

MIKE RIEDEL

Beer Nerd, p. 26 Raise your pint to our newest columnist, who recently saw his face emblazoned on 2 Row Brewery’s “Citra IPL” label. “I was flattered to say the least,” the man behind Utah Beer Blog says. “I’ll probably never get used to it, but now I know what my wife means by, ‘don’t give me that stupid smirk!’”

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Hatch honored in ritzy gala. facebook.com/slcweekly

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SOAP BOX

CITY

COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

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@SLCWEEKLY

Cover image, May 25, “Here Comes the Sun”

Blog, June 2, “Hatch Honored: Long-serving senator is named ‘Distinguished Utahn’”

Doo doo doo doo.

@MICHAEL33059

I think they spelled “disgusting” wrong.

Via Instagram

BENTON CLARK Via Facebook

Distinguished, or extinguished?

CLIFF BUTTER

A distinguished douche bag, maybe.

TIFFANY KLOMP Via Facebook

Awards should be given to a retired senator.

ROBERT FURBEE

Cover package, May 25, “Are You Ready for Some Fútbol?”

Via Facebook

SCOTT SIMMONS

Via Facebook

So they’re going to lose games faster?

Via Facebook

It’s out of the way, but Cravings Bistro in Pleasant Grove is excellent.

@PARKERWIGHTMAN Via Twitter

SCOTT FRANDSEN Via Facebook

Hatch died decades ago. The GOP keeps him animated with eldritch rituals and the blood of virgins.

PAX RASMUSSEN

Technically not wrong: It’s pretty easy to distinguish most of Congress from his awkward skeleton propped up in the corner of the room.

Summ er Guide 2 0 17

Via Facebook

Why is the senile old asshat being honored?

RUSTY CARROLL

JASON ALLEN Via Facebook

His “lengthy tenure” is part of the problem.

BRYAN ASKMI LEITR Via Facebook

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Cover package, May 25, “Do-It-Yourself Utah Brewery Tour”

@2PIXELBUTT

@DEB2WEB

CHERYL LANGSTON

Via Twitter

Yaaaay Bohemian.

Help us.

Via Twitter

Via Facebook

Drink, May 25, “Under the Tuscan Sun”

Does that mean he can retire now?

He’s distinguished himself as one of the biggest assholes in Senate history. Yay for Utah!

MIKE CORONELLA Via Facebook

Spoiler alert: This asshat didn’t even live in Utah until he was in college. But he throws down his political will as if it represents the interests of the whole state. If he wasn’t Mormon, he wouldn’t have been an afterthought for this award.

But more importantly, where does he get off pretending like the interests of mineral extraction and big pollution somehow are representative of the interests of most of us who’ve lived here for generations? What a con.

security, seniors, blacks, Hispanics, Muslims, universal health care, voter rights, endangered species, renewable energy and global warming. In addition, they call the media “the enemy of the people.”

Republicans are pro-gun, -torture, [support] more nuclear weapons, big oil, cigarette manufacturers, all corporations, Russia, non-taxed foreign bank accounts, building a border wall over 1,000 miles and billionaires.

JEFF AVIS,

Salt Lake City

MANUEL PADRO

BONNIE TRYONOVIECH

Via Facebook

Conservative America

Via Facebook

Now you’re talking. Brunello, Vino Nobile and some good Burgs—those are my wines. Cheers!

With enough money, you too can be an “honored” Utahn.

ROB VORWALD

The hell he is. He’s a statewide disgrace!

Cover package, May 25, “Summer Foodie Staycation”

N0.

Via Facebook

Via Facebook

MIKE O’BRIEN

WEEK

Republicans are against increasing the minimum wage, the working class, the middle class, women, funding K-16 education, social

You’ve got to be kidding, right?

GEORGE MOULOS Via Facebook

Via cityweekly.net

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OPINION Neckties During a campaign appearance on the television talk show Between Two Ferns, host Zach Galifianakis asked Hillary Clinton what she guessed Donald Trump would wear to their first debate. “I assume he’ll wear that red power tie,” she replied.

Would that be the one with a piece of Scotch tape holding the short end in place?

(Google the revealing photos if you like.)

Add “tying a necktie” to the list of Trump’s shortcomings.

In my tie-wearing days, I marched to the drumbeat of fashion. I wore skinny ties when they were in vogue, wide ones when they weren’t. Same with patterns. Paisley came and went, as did polka-dots. Stripes were less fickle. I bought a red linen tie once. I didn’t think of it as a “power tie”— whatever that means—I was attracted by its texture. I liked knit ties, but they preferred the company of a corduroy sport coat to that of a pinstriped suit. I was fond of bowties, too. A clerk at the Arthur Frank men’s store on Main Street taught me how to tie one in 1964.

Like 11-year-old Barron Trump, I wore ties at a young age—not because I wanted to, but because of the unwritten dress code of LDS culture in Salt Lake City back then. My first ones were clip-ons, but I soon outgrew them, literally and figuratively. Gravitating toward my father’s ties, I practiced four-inhand knots in front of a mirror. The goal was to ensure that the two ends were roughly equal in length. If either was too long or too short, you looked like a rodeo clown.

In the ninth grade at Highland High School, I fell under the sway of a guy who frequently wore a tie to school. He made perfect Windsor knots and anchored his

ties with a pearl tie tack. Why he wore ties to school and why I followed suit, I can’t say. Probably related to some pubescent fantasy. I learned to tie Windsor knots, and I soon replaced my Deacon Quorum tie bar with a pearl tie tack.

Tie tacks, tie bars, tie clasps—they all served the same purpose: Keep the short end out of sight and the long end out of the soup (or both off your shoulder in a gale). I wonder why Melania hasn’t gifted her husband a gold one. The nub of the problem, however, is that Trump can’t tie a necktie properly. Because the long ends of his ties reach unfashionably below his belt, the short end in back is aflutter. Hence, the tape expedient. The truth of the matter is that you could concoct a math problem for young Barron and his father to solve, like this: “Don’s necktie is 58 inches long. His neck is 6 inches wide, and his throat-tobelt gap is 21 inches. If a four-in-hand knot takes up 3 inches of the tie’s length, how long will the short end be?”

Trump’s aides have had their own share of wardrobe malfunctions. Sean Spicer and Steve Bannon have ignited controversy with what they say, and both have been criticized for what they wear (unlike our own man in Washington, Orrin Hatch, a dapper hypocrite). Bannon wore three shirts (two with collars), a blue blazer and no tie to the Conservative Political Action Conference in February. Spicer’s suits and ties have been lampooned by Melissa McCarthy on Saturday Night Live. Her sendups of Spicer are even better than Tina Fey’s parodies of Sarah Palin. Stung by the criticism, Spicer bought some tailored suits, but his ties remain unreconstructed “turgid pieces of silk,” Esquire Fashion Director Nick Sullivan told The New York Times.

Fussing over neckties seems like a waste

BY JOHN RASMUSON

of time. What does it matter if Trump uses Scotch tape on his tie? This is a guy dealing with global warming, dysfunctional government, terrorism and Kim Jong-un. Besides, ties are increasingly optional, even if you are wearing a $1,500 suit and $300 shirt from Burberry—or perhaps because of it. Former presidents Obama, Bush and Clinton have done their business dressed in tie-less suits. No one cares. Their wives, however, are studied as much for what they wear as for what they say. During Trump’s first trip abroad in May, Melania’s designer wardrobe was one of the “defining trends of the trip,” according to a story in The New York Times. Her outfits bespoke “ambivalence and armor.” And wealth! One flowery jacket she wore in Sicily cost $50,000.

I doubt that neckties are on the way out.

Men have been wearing them in one form or fashion since the 17th Century. I recall my own encounter with tradition at the Ritz Hotel in Boston. I took my wife to high tea there one afternoon. As a harpist played in the background, we were ushered politely to the concierge desk where I was loaned a sport coat and tie to conform to the dress code. I complied meekly, but lots of men really hate ties. They are banned in the Las Vegas headquarters of the online shoe company, Zappos. A “dress code enforcer” greets visitors. Those wearing ties are offered three choices: Take it off, wear it on your head like a sweatband or have it scissored off and tacked to a wall with a growing collection. In Zappos’ quirky corporate culture, ties are known as “wallflowers.”

The other definition of “wallflower”—to be overlooked at a social—is one almost everyone relates to, a variation on the manic FoMO theme. Could a red necktie make a difference? Only if it doesn’t call attention to itself. CW Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Forget the Timing

FOLLOW US ON SNAPCHAT @CITYWEEKLY

Sometimes the timing isn’t up to you. That hasn’t stopped the many Monday morning quarterbacks who have railed against the timing of a sexual harassment complaint gone viral.

The complaint, filed with the Democratic Party by seven women and released in Utah Policy and The Salt Lake Tribune, comes as the party gets ready for its state convention. The accused, Rob Miller, is running for party chair along with eight others. He claims it’s an effort to derail his candidacy and there’s barely a shred of truth. The reaction ranges from “despicable” to the “he’s a good man” mantra. Without comment on the validity of the allegations, there has been a rush to judgment for sure—against the complainants. Georgetown Law notes there are many reasons that complaints don’t happen immediately. So, forget the timing and focus on the facts.

More Options, Please

School vouchers are still in the news—although maybe growing with gusto because of the anti-government sentiment in the nation. Christine Cook, policy analyst for the conservative Sutherland Institute, is making that on-again argument that public schools are failing and privatization is the answer. That poor individualist, she moans in a Utah Policy editorial, cannot be served by this one-size-fitsall philosophy. Her points, however, are stale holdovers of another time. “We have school choice in Utah—have had it for two decades,” one commenter notes.

Another just wants you to trust parents and he’s sure that many options would arise. In Utah, they have. But they’re simply not enough. A New York Times article says that vouchers have been disappointing, but the real issue is discernment: “Hardcore reformers, like [Betsy] DeVos, support vouchers and charters. Hardcore traditionalists oppose both. The rest of us should distinguish between them, because their results differ.”

Coal Goals

Despite the toxic rhetoric from @realDonaldTrump and Rep. Mike Noel, there likely is a future for something other than coal.

The Deseret News has been following a series from Utah Foundation on the future of coal, and despite optimism, it just isn’t good. Diversification is likely the key, and that might take some buy-in from the state government. Unemployment in coal country is 50 percent higher than the state as a whole, making the issue about what types of jobs to attract. Meanwhile, in a Salt Lake Tribune story Noel wrongly assumed his Torrey constituents were anti-drilling because, you know, it’s Torrey. Ultimately, it’s up to each coal town to remake itself.

FIVE SPOT

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

BY ENRIQUE LIMÓN elimon@cityweekly.net @enriquelimon

BRAVO TV

HITS&MISSES

Bravo head honcho Andy Cohen’s cup runneth over. Added to a seemingly never-ending slew of hosting engagements and author appearances, he’s now crisscrossing the country with CNN personality Anderson Cooper as part of AC2, which rolls into the Eccles Theater on Saturday, June 10 at 8 p.m. A couple of days shy of his 49th birthday, the author of Most Talkative: Stories from the Front Lines of Pop Culture talked about recognizing that reality X-factor, his current silver fox co-star and former Bravo star Kathy Griffin’s turn.

You run a network, host a nightly TV show, I just saw you doing The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion—which I believe was a 19 parter—and now AC2. Where do you find the energy?

You know what? I love everything I do. It’s all really fun, and when you’re doing what you love, I just feel like you get energy.

What can you tell me about these conversations with Anderson and what audiences in SLC can expect?

It’s like going out to a bar or just to dinner with me and Anderson and hearing our stories.

It’s a night of conversation between the two of us—we kind of interview each other—but it’s really more of a conversation. And then after a while, we let the audience ask us whatever they want; so it’s great.

What have been some of the most memorable audience participation moments so far?

Well, I don’t want to get dirty, but people have dirty minds. It’s been great … everything from super stupid questions to very thoughtful ones. [It’s been] all over the map.

On that note, I want to ask you a very Andy Cohen question: Would you ever take a dip in the Coop Pond?

No. We were set up on a blind date many years ago, and it never happened. I think we’re better as friends.

Tell me what it takes to be the perfect Bravolebrity?

Oh, gosh. I think the thing most Bravolebrities have in common is they’re pretty funny.

They’re unique; they’re strong; they’re one-of-a-kind personalities.

With you being a father figure within the Bravo community, what has been your reaction to this whole Kathy Griffin situation with the Trump photo?

I think that the whole point is you can’t … I think many of us who were big Obama supporters were horrified at an effigy of Obama, so it goes both ways. You can’t have an effigy of the president—it’s like doing blackface—it never works.

Have you talked to her at all?

I haven’t.

We just celebrated Pride. At what point did you become comfortable in your own skin and proud of who and what you were?

I think it was just after I finally came out. I was so worried before I came out about people not accepting me or people turning me away, that it was just my relief, my great relief, that I was accepted. CW

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OCHO

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@Bill _ Frost

CITIZEN REVOLT In a week, you can

CHANGE THE WORLD

#RACEMATTERS STORIES

Let everyone know exactly how you feel about the white privilege shrouding our nation today. At #RaceMatters Open Mic, you can tell your story in word, song or poetry. You can even dance about your experiences dealing with race, culture and identity in Utah—there’s no controlling the narrative. The idea is to offer a much-needed space to talk about race, ethnicity and culture. During a few intervals throughout the night, those who had not planned to perform but are moved to speak may do so. Just tell your story. Salt Lake Community College South City Campus, 1575 S. State, Thursday, June 8, 6-9:30 p.m., free, bit.ly/2rVxcPk

Eight fun facts about Dead & Company, playing Usana Amphitheatre on June 7:

8. These guys are actually

the Grateful Dead! I know, like: Whaaat? Also: Why?!

7. The late Jerry Garcia’s nick-

names included “Captain Trips,” “Spud” and “The Worst Guitarist Since Bob Weir.”

6.

Garcia’s Dead & Company replacement, John Mayer, is the first band member in 50 years to be found attractive by women.

5. Notorious womanizer Mayer will not be, quote, “tapping that ‘gray hay’” while on tour with D&C, however.

4.

Dead & Company utilize two drummers because one inevitably falls asleep during the band’s tedious, eons-long jams.

3. D&C’s songs meander be-

cause no one knows how they end.

Or begin. Or qualify as “songs.”

2.

The ticket prices might seem high, but tie-dyed yachts that run on cocaine and hippie blood aren’t cheap.

1. Grateful Dead music was

never “satanic.” Satan has far better taste than that.

HEALTH CARE MARCH

Maybe they haven’t heard the backlash yet. Sens. Orrin Hatch and Mike Lee have been crafting the Senate’s version of the so-called American Health Care Act—the one that would leave 23 million people uninsured. Marches are one way of sending loud and clear messages to the political elite. If you’re unable or prefer not to march, just meet at the Wallace F. Bennett Federal Building (125 S. and State) for a rally at 11 a.m., featuring community advocates and speakers who are personally affected by these dangerous new health care measures.

Tell them at the Unite for Health Care Rally and March that Utahns have a right to affordable, accessible health care. City Creek Park, North Temple and State Street intersection, Saturday, June 10, 10 a.m.-12:30 p.m., free, bit.ly/2sfbW4o

COMMUNITY CONVERSATIONS

Well, yes, we need better understanding of the divided world we live in. The It Starts With You speaker series features NPR national reporters and local community members and examines complex issues that divide the country and community. They cover racism, bigotry, poverty and more. These community conversations dig deep to identify the many ways in which each and every one of us can stand up for the values of respect, equality, dignity and inclusion. Join NPR’s Kelly McEvers of All Things Considered at the reception. Grand Theatre, Salt Lake Community College, 1575 S. State, 801-736-7787, Thursday, June 15, 7-8:30 p.m., free with RSVP; meetand-greet reception, 5:30 p.m., $50, speakerseries.uw.org

—KATHARINE BIELE

Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

STRAIGHT DOPE Cat Your Service

BY CECIL ADAMS SLUG SIGNORINO

THE

What’s the difference between service animals, emotional support animals and therapy animals? I know service animals can accompany their owners anywhere, but does that apply to emotional support animals and therapy animals, too? Are these animals required to be licensed or registered in some way?

—LillyPad

Americans spend a whole lot of time griping about oppressive government regulations—hell, we’ve got a whole political party dedicated to stripping ’em off the books. But if you say you use a service dog, guess what?

That’s that. No one can ask for your papers.

No local government can require you to register the animal. It sounds too civilized to be true—which is why, naturally, there are folks in business selling unneeded certifications.

A service animal is trained to assist a disabled person by performing specific tasks: They guide the blind, signal the hearingimpaired, pull wheelchairs and so on. Their use is governed by the Americans with Disabilities Act, which allows anyone requiring the assistance of a service animal to bring that animal into any public accommodation without discrimination—a cabbie can’t shake his head and speed off when he sees your furry companion, and that hip new restaurant can’t hide you both behind a screen in the back.

The term “service animal” sounds broader than it really is; what we’re talking about here is pretty much just dogs. ADA regulations currently exclude all other creatures, except one: If a dog is a bad fit for you (due to, say, allergies or religious constraints), a miniature horse may be used instead— providing that it’s suitably housebroken, that the mesmerizing cuteness of a tiny horse won’t create a safety hazard, etc.

Of course, there are some restrictions. A service animal that flips out on duty can get you both tossed out on the street, and the ADA won’t object. A server doesn’t have to bring a snack or water bowl when you’re dining out with your dog. And while local governments can’t compel you to register your service animal as such, they can of course require licensing, vaccinations and all the other basics of animal ownership.

Crucially, though, the law doesn’t require you to justify your service animal’s presence with documentation, or by disclosing medical specifics; all anyone can ask you is whether it’s in fact required because of a disability, and what task it’s trained to do. This means that anyone, theoretically, could claim their dog is a service animal.

Presumably some level of civic responsibility, or just self-respect, prevents the sighted from pretending to be blind so they don’t have to leave their dogs outside the bank.

An emotional support animal doesn’t do the same kind of clearly visible work as a service animal—it’s a companion that provides therapeutic benefit for those suffer-

ing psychiatric woes. With ESAs, the major issue isn’t where you’re allowed to bring them, but where they’re allowed to live.

Under the Fair Housing Act, a “reasonable accommodation” must be made for folks with a physical or mental disability who need the assistance of an animal. Basically, even if I have a no-pets rule in my building, I’m still legally required to allow you to live with your ESA if you have a disability that entitles you to one; you just have to provide a note from your doctor (or social worker, or some other professional) certifying that you have a need for the animal.

While you can’t take your emotional support animal anywhere you want, the Air Carrier Access Act does allow you to bring it to the airport and onto the plane. Unlike a service animal, an ESA can also be a cat or most any other species, though since an ESA mustn’t impose an undue financial burden on the landlord by doing damage to property or requiring increased insurance, you might have a harder time setting up household with your rambunctious emotional support mongoose.

“Service animal” and “emotional support animal” are legal classifications. That’s not the case with therapy animals. These tend to be plain old pets that some institution—a hospital, a nursing home or, increasingly, a college or university where student fretting goes into overdrive at exam time—will invite in to cheer, soothe or otherwise distract the residents. Access to therapy animals isn’t protected by law, so whoever’s hosting them can make their own rules.

Just because hotels and movie theaters can’t ask you to show paperwork for your service animal doesn’t mean plenty of websites out there won’t be happy to send you some anyway. Some of these simply offer free-of-charge documentation that might make your use of a service animal less hassle-ridden—surely not every maître d’ out there has gotten the relevant memo, after all. But others might charge you $60 or so for a badge, vest or photo ID. If this doesn’t sound any more useful than those astronomic registry services that allowed you to “name” a star after your beloved grandma, well, I won’t argue. And let’s be realistic: No matter what badge or vest you put on him, people are still going to want to talk about your miniature horse. n Send questions via straightdope.com or write c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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NEWS The Amazing Race Stacking up 18 congressional hopefuls on the Chaffetz-O-Meter.

BY DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS dwharris@cityweekly.net @dylantheharris

ROUND 1 Here is what we learned about the Republicans:

Chaffetz -O- Meter Debbie Aldrich is a longtime political activist and has worked with Christians United for Israel. A proponent of repealing the Affordable Care Act, Aldrich says any replacement should continue to allow children to remain on their parents’ insurance through the age of 26 and should protect people with pre-existing conditions. She agrees with Trump’s decision to bomb Syria. Aldrich thinks “the feds have seized too much land,” and she worries about the effect of federal land policy on family ranchers. “Build that wall,” she says, but doesn’t agree that federal agents should “round up” undocumented immigrants, believing it would be too costly to taxpayers.

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 4.5. Aldrich is a “huge supporter” of Chaffetz and lines up with many of his policy positions.

Chaffetz -O- Meter

S

ay what you will about Rep. Jason Chaffetz—at least you know which way he’s going to kick the political football.

Utah’s most nationally known House member rarely shies away from the limelight to offer up his opinions. And having been in office since 2009, the guy doesn’t spring many surprises—other than, maybe, announcing he was quitting.

Now, 21 hopefuls vying to fill his kicker cleats jockey to distinguish themselves from the pack. That’s challenging without a metric. So while each candidate is his or her own person, Chaffetz himself makes for a useful watermark.

District 3 residents know that he supports a free-market health system, wants the state to decide what happens on public land, rejects amnesty for undocumented immigrants, and tweeted a celebratory “God bless the USA!” when President Donald Trump dropped bombs on Syria.

With that in mind, City Weekly churned each interview through the highly scientific ChaffetzO-Meter, which spit out a score between 1 and 5—wherein 1 is nothing like the outgoing congressman and 5 is his spitting image.

Chaffetz -O- Meter Brigham Cottam is a freelance TV producer who plans to run unaffiliated if he doesn’t get the requisite signatures to make it on the Republican ballot. Cottam can’t envision drastically revamping health care as a completely free-market enterprise. He prefers, instead, to improve the system in place. Describing Syria as “a bag of problems,” he commends Trump for being decisive but hasn’t got behind full-scale military intervention. He is less concerned with North Korea. Cottam is a centrist on public lands, adding that he doesn’t want to take “the amazing lands in Utah and put an oil rig on them.” Immigration is not as dire an issue as some in his party make it out to be, he adds.

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 2.5. Cottam distances himself from Chaffetz by half a point for sending a campaign photo wearing an American flag Speedo. He is also markedly more moderate than the sitting congressman.

Chaffetz -O- Meter John Curtis, the sitting mayor of Provo, wishes the House Republicans would have offered a “more thoughtful proposal” when they drafted up an Obamacare alternative, but he sees plenty of problems with the current health care system. Like Chaffetz, Curtis applauds President Trump’s decision to bomb Syria in retaliation for a chemical attack waged on that country’s citizens.

He is critical of the Antiquities Act—used to recently designate Bears Ears National

Monument—on grounds that it allows decisions to be made unilaterally. Curtis supports transferring some public land to the state as a pilot program, and he’s not completely against a wall if it proved to be effective and affordable.

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 4. “I’m different in style,” he says. “I think I align with many of his policies.”

Chaffetz -O- Meter Brad Daw was first elected to the Legislature in 2004 and was voted back in every election since save for 2012, but won the vote again in 2014. Daw agrees with Chaffetz that Obamacare should be repealed, and he suggests that free-market forces would result in better outcomes. He also wants the U.S. to approach foreign conflicts carefully to avoid the need for a military response. As for Bears Ears National Monument, Daw wants to “repeal it outright,” and change the Antiquities Act so that state legislatures have a voice in monument creation. He could get behind a border wall so long as it’s coupled with “comprehensive immigration reform.”

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 4. Daw adheres to many of the same principles as Chaffetz, but says his strategy for getting things done is to “seek out like-minded people,” as well as “convert people to the cause.”

Chaffetz -O- Meter Paul Fife is a defense contractor by trade whose experience led him to believe that “bureaucracy gets way too big, way too fast.” He says health care woes stem, partly, from a “duopoly” market and asymmetrical knowledge of health care pricing.

The government’s management of public land, he says, leads to practices that benefit the feds over the states where those lands reside. Fife, whose grandmother immigrated to America from Colombia, says the immigration policy could be less onerous without sacrificing national security.

Past generations “didn’t have to go through all the hoops that you have to go through now,” he says.

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 3.5. Fife conforms to the same GOP principles as Chaffetz, though he is to the center on many issues and perceives Chaffetz’ approach in dealing with these issues to be abrasive.

Chaffetz -O- Meter Jeremy Friedbaum says he experienced two shifts that influence his political philosophy: The first was when he—formerly a secular Jew—converted to Christianity, and the second was when he began study-

ing the U.S. Constitution and converted to the idea of original intent. He says the unspoken problem dogging health care is contract pricing. He also suggests allowing medical providers to write-off unpaid bills from indigent patients as tax-deductible charity. He believes the best way to combat radical Islamists is by mocking their holy prophet, Mohammed. The federal government should own as little property as possible, he says. Even the National Parks could be managed by the states. Friedbaum also supports the idea of deputizing regular citizens, who could then help ICE round up undocumented immigrants.

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 6. Friedbaum lands to the right of Chaffetz on some issues, but he is similar in that he supports ideas that could be described as divisive.

Chaffetz -O- Meter

A mother, a small business owner and a state senator, Deidre Henderson says she’s experienced federal overreach in all realms of her life. “My goal is to leave Washington less powerful than when I found it,” she says. Henderson would have voted for the AHCA, because of the “trillion in tax cuts.” She trusts that states will be better suited to find health care solutions.

Henderson says the U.S. should “avoid war at all costs,” but supports the president’s decision to bomb Syria. In Henderson’s estimation, Bears Ears doesn’t need additional protection offered by a national monument, and certainly not “one of that size and scope,” she says. Henderson doesn’t support amnesty. As for a border wall: “If that’s the best way to secure our border, fine.”

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 5. Like Chaffetz, Henderson is high-octane. She agrees with many of his positions, and for a year she “worked for free to get him elected.”

Chaffetz -O- Meter

A former legislator who grew up in Provo, Christopher Herrod contends that insurance interferes with free-market forces and has driven up health care costs. Eye care and plastic surgery, he says, are useful examples of medical fields that aren’t encumbered by insurance complications.

As for domestic policy, he says Syrian refugees would be better served in safe zones, and that he supported Trump’s bombing.

He would like to implement a system that penalizes immigrants who overstay their visas—revoking visa eligibility for three years if they overstay by one day or more up to one year, at which point the eligibility penalty jumps to 10 years.

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 4.5. Herrod is a “platform Republican,” and he agrees with Chaffetz on many issues. “We’re obviously going to have different personalities,” he adds.

CONTINUED ON P. 14

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Attorney Damian Kidd—one of the first names to appear as a potential GOP challenger—considers himself “a political outsider in this campaign.” Kidd admonished Chaffetz for touting a new health care bill before he knew all the provisions it contained, though he does support a freemarket health care system. Kidd believes strongly that Trump should have asked for congressional approval before bombing Syria. He is a supporter of the state taking over its public lands but criticizes Chaffetz for not being able to draft legislation that brought all sides together. To address immigration, Kidd says politicians should “stick their neck out” and be resolute and decisive. He doesn’t agree that established yet undocumented families need to be rounded up and deported.

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 4. Kidd sees himself a 1 on the scale. “Jason Chaffetz chief concern is Jason Chaffetz and political gain,” he claims. Even if that is the case, Kidd aligns politically with the representative on several key issues.

Chaffetz -O- Meter TH

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Keith Kuder, a veteran campaign volunteer, wants to fill the shoes of the man he helped elect in 2008. It’s no surprise, then, that Kuder agrees with Chaffetz on most key issues, though he disagrees with the GOP health care bill’s high-risk pool solution to pre-existing conditions. He admits that he’s “not too educated on the topic” of Syria and North Korea, but generally supports working with allies to find solutions. Kuder supports rescinding Bears Ears National Monument, and believes “the state would do a far better job managing the [public] land.” He also would prefer to allow undocumented, but otherwise law-abiding, parents to stay with their children and offer a path to residency, rather than deportation.

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 3.5. Relating to immigration and health care, Kuder seems to be to the center of Chaffetz, and he considers it a dereliction of duty that “Jason is not responding to calls and emails” from constituents.

Chaffetz -O- Meter Although Mike Leavitt shares his namesake with a popular Utah governor, this Mike Leavitt hasn’t held office before and is still refining his positions. Leavitt, for example, says he would ask constituents what they want him to do regarding health care before offering up a set plan. In his assessment, some public land “just gets overrun

by hikers,” but he does support balancing recreation with economic development. He is against a border wall because it would serve as a bulwark for “the good people,” but “the cartels will still drop their drugs in the desert.”

Chaffetz-O-Meter: Leavitt pegs himself as a 3, adding, “I actually think he’s pretty good.” Fair. Leavitt doesn’t share Chaffetz’ level of understanding of the issues or firm positions. On those he does, he is unmistakably conservative.

Chaffetz -O- Meter Shayne Row, a former IRS employee, says he is jumping in the race to represent the deaf community, specifically, and the ADA community in general. He prefers Trumpcare to Obamacare, believing the former will be more affordable. Row supports military action against hostile nations such as North Korea. He’s unfamiliar with Bears Ears National Monument, but supports the idea of economic development on public lands. Regarding immigrants, he thinks if people aren’t here legally, “they should have to leave.”

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 4. Row considers himself a 5 on this scale, but Chaffetz is in strong opposition to Bears Ears, and he also says the U.S. should try to avoid military intervention in North Korea.

If, as Kuder suggests, getting bogged down with too many phone calls and emails is a Chaffetz’ trait, Stewart Peay, Margaret Dayton and Tanner Ainge at least have that in common with him. None returned phone calls and emails for an interview, so each gets an incomplete on the Chaffetz-O-Meter.

ROUND 2

As one might expect, the Democrats each tried to distance him- or herself as much as possible from Chaffetz:

Chaffetz -O- Meter Dr. Kathie Allen, a family physician in Utah for 30 years, raised more than $400,000 to run for office before she filed.

She strongly opposes the AHCA, concerned that it would leave more than 23 million Americans without coverage. She says a panel of experts should be tasked with advising the government on health care policy. Ultimately, she supports some form of universal health care. She calls Chaffetz’ tweet celebrating the bombing of Syria “completely tone deaf. When people die, that’s no reason for someone to celebrate, ever.” Allen doesn’t trust that state lawmakers would adequately protect public lands. She cautions against

a draconian immigration policy. “Any immigration policy that rips children away from their parents seems inherently immoral to me,” she says. “There’s got to be a way to protect the parents of people who were born here.”

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 1. Allen asserts that her positions are “completely opposite” of Chaffetz’, and she disagrees with the way he handled himself at a town hall earlier this year.

Chaffetz -O- Meter

Carl Adam Ingwell, an environmental organizer and founder of Clean Air Now, supports single-payer health care plan, saying medical treatment should “never be a luxury.” Ingwell is pro-Bears Ears National Monument and believes the feds should continue to manage public land, which he says should be championed as an economic driver in the renewable energy, tourism and outdoor rec industries. Climate change, he adds, is the single greatest threat. Ingwell is “tired of ICE tearing families apart” and is completely against a border wall.

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 1. Ingwell rated himself a 1 because the scale didn’t include negative numbers. He and Chaffetz are “completely different people. We’re both men and that’s it.”

Chaffetz -O- Meter

Ben Frank is a mental health care worker and progressive activist who worked on the Bernie Sanders presidential campaign. He also volunteered for a group aimed at changing campaign finance reform. Favoring a single-payer Medicaid-for-all system, Frank considers Obamacare a Band-Aid to health care failings—far from an ideal solution. The Democratic candidate wants to keep federal land federal, and “instead of looking toward extraction on public lands,” Frank says, the government should be “investing in clean energy.” He supports a whistleblowers-protection program where undocumented workers could alert authorities to workplace abuses without fear of deportation. “The border wall is bad policy and completely absurd,” he adds.

Chaffetz-O-Meter: 1. Frank bills Chaffetz as a prototypical corporate GOP politician and himself as a grassroots progressive. CW

Look for answers from the three thirdparty candidates in a future blog post at cityweekly.net.

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JUNE 08, 2017 | 15

The LDS church declined to comment for this story, as did Taubman Centers, Inc., a regional mall owner that co-owns and manages City Creek’s retail component.

The church has pursued similar approaches to a number of temples. In Laie, Hawaii, native resident Aunty Dawn Wasson has been fighting her church’s property-development arm over ownership of a cemetery near the Laie Temple, and the church’s insistence that human remains be removed.

In Philadelphia, the church is building a 32-story tower, rental townhomes and a ward house next to the downtown temple. In a 2014 article, senior real estate manager for the LDS church Michael Marcheschi told The New York Times, “The church is sensitive to what can be developed next to its temple and wanted to have something that would be very compatible with the sacred nature of it.”

Puriri addressed that sensitivity in a February 2014 email to the top LDS authority in New Zealand in reference to what one of the church’s property arm executives had laid out for him eight years before: “Then, he explained how temple patrons would attend the temple more frequently after cleaning up these troubled areas around every temple in the world.” By “troubled areas” the executive meant, for example, Puriri wrote, demolishing “a cheap motel near the Ogden temple” because it was frequented by addicts and prostitutes.

Puriri sees such values as leading to “invisible, collateral damage,” whether it’s families in Temple View evicted by the church from rental homes so more-expensive homes could be built, or escalating tensions between church members who refuse to question their leaders and those, like him, who oppose the development, only to be called apostates on social media.

After observing the evolution of the LDS church-funded City Creek Center for years and finding painful parallels with the events in Temple View, Puriri coined the term “City-Creekification.” It means “exporting materialistic, capitalist values wrapped in religion,” he says. That’s what he believes has happened to Temple View.

“If I may be blunt,” Macdonald says, “Temple View looks more like a modern suburb in Utah now than the historic village it used to look like.”

University of Utah associate professor in the College of Architecture and Planning, Stephen Goldsmith was Salt Lake City planning director under Mayor Rocky Anderson and took the initial concept for City Creek to the church. But the end result was far from what he had envisioned, particularly in terms of what he angrily bemoans “the privatization of the public way.” What were once public thoroughfares across from the neo-gothic lines of the iconic downtown LDS temple, became, as the signs on the entrances to the mall proclaim, private property, signaling that those who choose to enter leave their civil rights outside.

He says such historic patterns of development are far from unique to the LDS church. Those in financial control of “urban renewal” can create a landscape in their own image, Goldsmith says, “so it’s for people like them. That’s what controlling men like to do.” He perceives American colonialism stiffening the spines of those driving property development in Temple View.

Goldsmith finds it heartbreaking, he says, how Puriri has sought over the years to negotiate a bridge between the earthly, spiritual values of the Maoris in Temple View and the colonialism of his church. “It’s a typical, tragic example of the way colonialism undermines authenticity and the right to self-determination.”

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R

a Puriri packed his suitcase and flew 9,000 miles from the coastal community of Raglan, New Zealand, to Salt Lake City—all to perform an act of dissent. It was late September 2015, and the Maori Mormon, who comes from six generations of devout members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, put on a suit, pinned up his shoulder-length hair and went to the downtown Mormon Tabernacle to join other church members watching General Conference proceedings on huge screens.

It’s rare that Mormons vote in opposition to their spiritual leaders. And it’s perhaps even rarer that a Maori Mormon would do so, given, as Puriri wrote to one church official in 2013, “there are no more dedicated and obedient members of the church anywhere in the world than the Maoris in NZ.” But for the last decade—through slews of frustrating phone conversations, meetings and emails that bounced him back-and-forth between church authorities in Salt Lake City and New Zealand, along with 800 posts on his blog, saveccnz.wordpress.com—Puriri has fought for the survival of the secondary school campus his parents and more than 300 other native people built in New Zealand in the 1950s. It provided generations of Maoris, Tongans and Samoans—both LDS and not—with education, skills and what Temple View resident, college alumni and pro-campus activist Meshweyla Macdonald calls, at least when it was open, “the heart of the community.”

But Puriri’s battles against his church’s attempts to, as Macdonald puts it, “squash opposition to demolition” finally led him to confront his leaders in the most public of forums.

The then-56-year-old computer software consultant voted to “sustain the prophet,” but when a vote came to support “all the other leaders in the church,” Puriri, his guts churning, waited a moment, then stood up to vote “no.” Minutes later, the family sitting next to him moved to another row.

He hung around after the conference, expecting someone to approach him, but no one did. He waited for months, but no one contacted him. By then, close friends had turned away from someone labeled as a dissenter. “It’s almost like leprosy,” he says.

What lies at the root of Puriri’s self-described crisis of trust in some church leaders who, he says, “go from ecclesiastical leaders one moment to businessmen the next” is the 2006 decision by church officials to shutter the then-48-year-old Church College of New Zealand (CCNZ) campus in Temple View, near Hamilton, New Zealand, adjacent to the first LDS temple built in the Southern Hemisphere. Temple View is home to over 1,200 people, around 300 homes and five LDS wards. Some of the campus buildings already have been demolished, but Puriri, Macdonald and others—many scared into silence by the hostility and reprimands they’ve seen opposers of the church’s plans receive—still hope to save the heritage-listed David O. McKay Building from the wrecking ball.

Puriri’s parents, along with a slew of other Maoris and Pacific Islanders, both Mormon and not, dedicated years of their lives to constructing the school’s campus for nothing more than $1 a week, which would pay for a movie ticket or ice cream. “It was sacred and special not just to my family, but hundreds of families,” Puriri says. “Our parents collectively sacrificed so much to build it.” But, then, they had the church school’s now pathos-drenched motto to inspire them: “Build for Eternity.”

The decision to close CCNZ set Puriri on a quest for the financial truth behind both the Temple View development plans of his church and the Salt Lake City-based City Creek Center. “I feel like they are using the temple as an economic development tool, and that insults me,” Puriri says.

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Spirit

By Stephen Dark sdark@cityweekly.net @stephenpdark

STEVEN VARGO

Warrior

A Maori Mormon wants the church held accountable for erasing his New Zealand heritage.

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Since the LDS church announced the CCNZ shuttering in 2006, Puriri has peppered church leaders in both hemispheres with questions about the motivations and financing behind their plans to raze what one Maori Mormon predicted in 1959 would become “the alma mater of the Maori people.” In the place of answers, he says there’s been increasing ecclesiastical pressure—from both employees of the business arm of the church and lay clergy—to back off.

One issue he’s tried to get to the bottom of was whether members’ mandatory donations, called “tithing”—which the Mormon gospel explicitly states is only for service-driven use and “sacred” church developments—was funding the Temple View development. That was the claim made by senior employees in the church’s property development arm, Property Reserve, Inc., at firesides at New Zealand wards in October 2012.

Firesides are typically used for religious instruction, but according to an audio recording of the meeting at the Hamilton stake center, this was more of a real-estate promotional exercise. During the evening meeting, one PRI employee said the mixed development of church property, homes, offices and some retail was being bankrolled by tithing funds signed off by, ultimately, the prophet himself. Puriri believes the PRI officials were attempting “to instill fear and coerce silence and conformity to their so-called ‘sparkle’ development plans,” he wrote in a June 2014 email to Elder Lynn G. Robbins, a member of the Presidency of the Seventy. He went on to quote a PRI employee telling him in New Zealand, “The brethren want Temple View to sparkle so saints will return to the temple.” Puriri provided City Weekly with a large number of emails between himself and numerous church employees, stretching back to 2006.

At the root of Puriri’s struggle, former BYU professor and excommunicated Mormon historian D. Michael Quinn spies, is a Joseph Smith revelation where, he writes in an email, “God says, ‘all things to me are spiritual.’” That includes money.

The LDS church’s involvement in finance and business from its early days meant various “devout Mormons have become disaffected from LDS leaders due to their involvement in commercialism.” This all comes to a painful head for Puriri, Quinn suggests, “because the LDS church’s commercialism is demolishing some of his tribal heritage of faith.”

Puriri compares his fight with the church’s business arm to playing rugby, something his wife banned him from doing years ago. “I was not a very good rugby player, but I loved the physical contact and brotherhood,” he says. “These issues with the church are my rugby substitute.” That said, he also reflects on the painful nature of questioning his beloved church and how it has placed him ever further apart from its leadership.

“I feel like they’ve put a black bag over my head, flung me into a black van and put me into a prison of conscience,” he says. “When I ask to talk to someone, they take the bag off, and tell me, ‘No one will talk to you.’”

STEVEN VARGO

16 | JUNE 08, 2017

A SIMPLER EXISTENCE

Puriri was born the same year the Temple View temple was opened in 1958. The oldest of six children, he spent the first 13 years of his life in Temple View, a then-600-strong community of mostly Mormon Maoris, an hour from Auckland. “It was the center of the church in the South Pacific for years,” Puriri recalls. “There were cows everywhere, sheep, lots of rain. It was beautiful.”

His family moved to California when he was 13, then, six years later, to Alpine, Utah, where his father worked as a plumber. Puriri did a two-year LDS mission in central Pennsylvania in the late 1970s, racing on his bicycle against Amish youth in their horse-drawn buggies. He married a Canadian immigrant, and for seven years they lived in downtown Salt Lake City, where they raised their first four children.

“They believe in the core beliefs of the church,” daughter Karamea says about her parents in a Skype interview. She says her father has always enshrined within those beliefs service to the poor and destitute, and recalls how he ran a downtown Salt Lake City Chevron gas station when she was growing up. Homeless men would gather on the sidewalk, and Puriri would give them coffee and food in exchange for sweeping the lot. “From Mom’s perspective, he gets a little too involved,” she adds dryly.

A former marketing manager for SLUG Magazine and Craft Lake City who now lives in Raglan, New Zealand, near her parents, she admits her father is stubborn. “If it’s not the answer he wants, he’ll push until it is,” she says.

Church employees certainly seemed genuinely puzzled that Puriri did not respect the importance of the Temple View development sufficiently to welcome it without question. Puriri exchanged emails with Property Reserve, Inc. executive Brian Carrington, who came to regard Puriri, according to one exchange, as an effective campaigner against the church’s plans for CCNZ. In a 2009 email, Carrington lamented, “Right now the community is focused on a school, on a gym, on a library, on some homes, on the past.” Such a focus, instead of the temple, “breaks my heart,” he wrote. If Puriri focused on “protecting” the temple rather than the school, then “we could accomplish the Lord’s will concerning this place.”

Such exhortations to follow the church line were plentiful.

“These are decisions being made in Salt Lake City by upper-tier leaders, so if you question them, you are questioning God,” Puriri says. A letter dated July 17, 2009, from the area president over the South Pacific to a couple of vocal Mormons and former CCNZ alumni opposing its demolition, decried their efforts to “apply pressure to the church to do what you want,” namely sell the CCNZ to financiers sympathetic to pro-Church College members (something the church declined to do). The area president, identified by Puriri and Macdonald as Elder David S. Baxter, asked them to desist, and made clear opposing

the development was opposing God: “These are prophetic decisions and not merely some corporate physical facilities determination,” he stated. Letter recipients had to make a decision: “your will, or the prophet’s will. It is as simple as that.”

THE ENNOBLING MALL

On March 22, 2012, LDS Prophet Thomas S. Monson opened the City Creek mall directly across from his faith’s most famous temple, shouting, “One, two, three—let’s go shopping.” Puriri was deeply troubled by his church’s leaders’ championing materialism.

“I was shocked,” he says. “I thought someone was making this up.”

His anger grew later that year when he read an article titled “How the Mormons Make Money,” by Caroline Winter for Bloomberg magazine. In the article, Keith B. McMullin, head of Deseret Management Corp.—the holding company for many of the church’s for-profit businesses—explained to Winter that the return on the church’s estimated $2 billion investment would be marginal at best. But that wasn’t the point. “It’s for furthering the aim of the church to make, if you will, bad men good, and good men better,” he said.

How did shopping make bad men good? Puriri was stunned.

He felt McMullin was preaching, he says, “that you’ll find God in the material world.”

When he strides around the elegant, marble-rich walkways of City Creek one Wednesday afternoon, he sees what other Mormons critical of the mall have described as “the great and spacious building,” a scriptural reference to the materialistic world that swallows you whole. “The top 1 percent of Mormons shop at City Creek,” he says, ticking off such high-end stores as Tiffany & Co. and Porsche Design. “We could do more with that money than prop up a pretend shopping center that no one uses,” Puriri says.

Prop up because, he says, a senior church official told him and his brother in separate meetings that to keep Sundays holy, they paid retailers to stay shut. Several property sources familiar with downtown argue that, while the church wouldn’t pay the City Creek anchor-stores Nordstrom and Macy’s to stay closed on Sundays, the lease arrangements might well include a deduction to reflect some part of the estimated revenues lost from one of the biggest shopping days.

FIRESIDE THEATER

In an August 2012 press release, the LDS church announced that, “after four years of research analysis and consultation,” it had decided to build on Temple View “a new stake center and carpark, park, lake and footpaths, and upgrade of Tuhikaramea Road,” which leads directly to the temple.

Shortly after, fliers went out to ward houses across New Zealand promoting a “fireside,” typically a discussion on scriptural issues. However, this meeting was led by top Property Reserve,

“My faith in Christ has increased in direct proportion to my diminishing trust in some church leaders.”

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THE HOLY DOLLAR

—Ra Puriri

COURTESY KARAMEA PURIRI

COURTESY MESHWEYLA MACDONALD

JUNE 08, 2017 | 17

In early 2015, Puriri and his wife left Utah and moved first to Hamilton, and then Raglan, New Zealand—a small coastal town where Karamea Puriri now works for the local paper.

Puriri has rediscovered the elemental pleasures of surfing, and dotes on his first grandson, for whom, he says, he continues the fight.

In January of this year, Puriri refused to “sustain” his church leaders in his annual interview for his temple recommend, a document he has held as sacred since a child. As

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JUST ANOTHER PLACE

a consequence, his stake president took it from him. He feels that this action has left him effectively excommunicated without cause from attending the temple.

“I feel they are using it as a weapon, holding it over my head,” Puriri says. “If I surrender my free will, if I bow my head and bite my lip, I can go to the temple.”

He kept the loss of access to the sacred temple to himself, packed his bags once more and came to Salt Lake City to seek answers from the church leadership. No one would meet with him. “I think it’s a heavy weight to know all of these things and not be able to do anything about it,” his daughter Karamea says.

At Temple View, the McKay Building is now boarded up and dotted with “No Trespassing” signs. Church officials said in a public statement, if they are not granted permission to tear it down, they’d let it rot rather than open it up to be used by locals.

There’s a new road leading to the temple, along with expensive homes hidden behind high walls. Owners have to agree to restrictive covenants, which Goldsmith says, having looked over them at City Weekly’s request, suggest that, much like City Creek, the church is effectively privatizing the public way.

Last month, Meshweyla Macdonald attended a hearing in Hamilton on the LDS church’s application to knock down the David O. McKay Building. She represented the Temple View Heritage Society, a group Puriri is part of, and presented a 47-page document to a committee tasked with deciding the fate of a building that once beat to the heart of a united community.

Macdonald outlined how local church leadership had used their ecclesiastical rank to push for support from members for the church’s plans. “The development that has happened and is proposed to happen has destroyed much of what was special about Temple View,” she writes in an email in response to questions from City Weekly. “It’s just another place now, that happens to have a temple in its proximity.”

After local news covered her presentation, she was criticized on social media for questioning the church’s will and for airing dirty laundry in public. “I think there is shock [by church members and leadership] that black-and-white evidence of church activity that has resulted in undue influence, breach of fiduciary relationship and thwarting of democracy, and free speech has been put up for public scrutiny,” Macdonald writes in her email. A decision on the building’s fate is expected mid-June.

Despite losing his temple recommend, Puriri’s fight is far from over, daughter Karamea says. “It’s a fight for truth, at the end of the day. And he’s a very determined fighter.”

In all this struggle, Puriri’s faith remains not only undiminished but, if anything, strengthened. “My faith in Christ has increased in direct proportion to my diminishing trust in some church leaders.” If he can’t get the faceless bureaucrats in his church to answer his questions, he says with a laugh, he will face them down on the rugby field. “Perhaps they will accept my challenge to settle this through a game of rugby. Their team against my team. May the best team win.” CW

At the beginning of Puriri’s struggle, Karamea Puriri felt he was optimistic that he could bridge the gap between his church and his community. “He felt, if he kept pushing those buttons, they would sit down and listen to him,” she says. “Instead, they flexed their muscles and pulled him from one church calling after another. That’s been the trend.”

Watching her father’s growing sense of disappointment saddened her, since the church is all her parents have known since they were born. “It’s such a huge part of my family, being so devoted to it for years on end,” she says. Yet despite her father’s love for the Mormon gospel, the institution continued to let him down. “If there’s any way to push a member out of the faith,” she says, “they’re doing it.”

By late 2012, Puriri had come to realize a painful truth: In the fight to save Temple View’s last historic properties, the truth was becoming an increasingly fragile victim in attempts to placate him and other local opposition to the development.

That fall, Ra Puriri and his father attended a meeting with

Bishop Dean M. Davies of the Presiding Bishopric’s office at downtown Salt Lake City’s LDS headquarters. Davies is first counselor to the Presiding Bishopric, who oversees the church’s for-profit business activities worldwide.

The meeting was an answer to the Puriris’ prayers, as Davies had good news for father and son. The former teachers’ homes that had been earmarked for the wrecking ball were to be spared. “Residential homes that are functionally obsolete will be renovated and made available to residents and families,” Davies wrote in a follow-up letter. Puriri Sr. cried on the way home. “Isn’t that wonderful?” he told his son, before calling his sister in Temple View to impart the news.

A few days later, Puriri received a document that sharply contradicted Davies—namely, a copy of an eviction notice served to all 30 families that resided there, dated a week before the meeting. The tenants of the church-owned housing were informed they could stay a few more months if they agreed not to protest the church’s development plans.

Puriri took what he saw as an insult to his father—“They made him out to be a liar to his family.” He wanted an apology from his church, but “there’s no mechanism, no script in a bureaucratic institution that outlines how that is done,” he says.

Nevertheless, he continued to dig. In mid-February 2016, Puriri emailed Elder Kevin W. Pearson, who represents the First Presidency in New Zealand, that he was urging others to ensure their tithing went to the poor and needy. That was a position, Pearson responded, that “would be viewed as a serious action against the church, when combined with your open vote of dissension in conference.” He told Puriri, “You have been heard, but your wishes and recommendations have not been accepted. It’s time to accept that fact and move on.”

Puriri emailed Pearson, highlighting what he felt was the “uncharitable” and even hostile tone used by other church members against him and his father. “[One] brother told my father that he is not a faithful member of the church, and if he was not careful, he could be excommunicated.”

Pearson wrote back, “Time to stop trying to block or revise what the First Presidency has approved. Time to stop opposing. Trust that the First Presidency is doing the right thing.”

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A FATHER’S TEARS

Meshweyla Macdonald

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Inc. officials touting the Temple View development to church members. A local church member secretly recorded the meeting and gave it to Puriri, who posted the audio on his blog.

An American consultant for the church, Don White told the Hamilton stake center audience that the objective of the development was “the protection and sanctity of the environment of the temple.” He continued, “All the projects we are focusing on tonight are tithing-funded projects,” decisions that could only be made by the church’s top leadership, to whom the three men reported.

LDS church leaders have repeatedly said no tithing money was spent on City Creek—so were the presenters in New Zealand telling the truth, or not? Elder James J. Hamula offered Puriri an explanation in an email, albeit one that left him troubled. A new stake center was indeed coming out of tithing funds, whereas the rest of the project—homes, townhouses, some retail—was through non-tithing money. “Thus the statements made by PRI representatives that you have been concerned about and copied me on, while perhaps imprecise, are not really inaccurate,” Hamula wrote.

One fireside attendee asked how much it would all cost the church. “It’s more than $1,000,000,” White replied dismissively. Offices and “five or six shops” were proposed, along with tearing down the McKay Building to make way for American-style homes.

Karamea Puriri says there’s an affordable housing crisis in New Zealand, but few members of the church could afford to move to the residential precincts the church is planning. She says the struggles over the future of Temple View have had a “big ripple effect on the community. Kiwis look at Americans with our big voices as if we tread on everything they do.”

Karamea Puriri

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ESSENTIALS

Plan-B Theatre Co.: (in)divisible A polarizing president is bound to inspire artists to address his impact on the nation. But how do you explore that controversial subject in a way that’s thoughtful, and not merely preachy?

That was the challenge Plan-B Theatre Co. put to a dozen local playwrights for (in)divisible, an evening of five-minute plays about politically fragmented 2017 America. Two crucial components of the project forced participating writers to think even more creatively: They couldn’t include any current political figure by name, and they had to write two pieces—one representing each side of the political aisle.

“The parameters are pretty strict: no mentioning of Trump or Clinton, or even allusions to them,” Plan-B Artistic Director Jerry Rapier says.

“When those names surface in conversation, listening seems to cease. The lack of respect for those with whom we differ is at the root of the quagmire we find ourselves in as a country.”

Perhaps surprisingly, he says it was more challenging for the writers to represent the point of view closest to their own. “The opposite point of view was much easier,” Rapier says. “It could be looked at objectively as … a character to treat as truthfully as possible. But when representing their own point of view, each playwright felt immense pressure to avoid being didactic. The result is pretty magical: Each playwright examined their own biases and fears, boldly and frankly sharing what they found.” (Scott Renshaw) Plan-B Theatre Co.: (in)divisible @ Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, June 8-18, Thursday-Friday, 8 p.m.; Saturday, 4 p.m. & 8 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m., free, ticket required, planbtheatre.org

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

JO-ANN WONG

JOHN BRANDON

JERRY RAPIER

THURSDAY 6/8

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, JUNE 8-14, 2017

ANDREAS POUPOUTSIS

the

FRIDAY 6/9

FRIDAY 6/9

SATURDAY 6/10

Granted, it’s a fine line between the improbable and the impossible, but superstar magician David Blaine crosses that boundary so often that even disbelievers drop their jaws in awe. Consider his exploits: He was buried alive for a week. He encased himself inside a block of ice for three days. He balanced himself on a 100-foot-tall pillar for 36 hours without a safety net. He spent 44 days inside a transparent box in London, subsisting on nothing but water. He allowed himself to be zapped continuously with more than a million volts of electricity for 72 hours. He spent a week submerged in an aquarium, and claimed a world record by holding his breath for 17 minutes under water.

He’s clearly interested in doing more than pulling a rabbit out of a hat.

For Blaine, magic and masochism seem to go hand in hand. While some consider him an irresponsible risk-taker, a brazen exhibitionist or both, audiences are obviously enthralled. He has entertained presidents and celebrities, hosted his own TV specials, starred in a Super Bowl halftime show and shared a stage with Michael Jackson—no small trick in itself.

“I look at it all as magic,” Blaine recently told London’s Daily Telegraph. “In this day and age, when everything is explained on YouTube, the ultimate goal is to create magic that seems like it is impossible, but you can really do it.”

Well, he can. The rest of us are best left to watch in wonder. (Lee Zimmerman) David Blaine @ DeJoria Center, 970 N. State Road 32, Kamas, 435-783-3525, June 9, 8 p.m., $29.50-$69.50, dejoriacenter.com

It’s fair to say Stephen Brown has a different approach to a dance production than most people are used to. If you’re expecting the kind of show where you sit passively in a seat and watch the dancers from a distance, you’re probably in the wrong place.

The Pushers—originally staged in 2014, but now revised with more characters and polished choreography, according to Brown—is in many ways a typical SB Dance experience. The source material is a bit edgy, taking the lives of iconic artists Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe in 1970s, pre-AIDS New York, as depicted in Smith’s memoir Just Kids, and turning it into a jumpingoff point for Brown’s own reflections on people he knew as a young artist in the city. The themes and language are adult, and not Utah familyfriendly.

More significantly, though, The Pushers is an interactive theatrical experience, as audience members become participants in the show with Brown’s veteran company of dancers—including a cash bar that’s actually on stage. “Good art is a two-way street,” Brown says via email. “The art needs to take a few steps toward the viewer, or reader, and they need to take a few steps toward the art. Moments of interacting with the audience reminds them that we’re in this together. …

Interacting with the audience is a way of breaking down the formality of theater and introducing a down-to-earth relationship.

“Plus,” he finalizes, “it’s fun to fuck with people.” (SR) SB Dance: The Pushers @ Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, June 9-17, Friday-Saturday, 8:30 p.m.; Sunday, 5 p.m., $22.50, artsaltlake.org

From dance and cosplay, to various food offerings, to presentations on unique crafts and skills, the Utah Asian Festival provides a fun way to learn about and appreciate Asian and Pacific Islander cultures that have found homes here.

There’s plenty of interesting stuff on that list of highlights, but the best part is arguably its accessibility, thanks to free admission.

This year, the festival celebrates the 40th anniversary of local Chinese, Japanese and Korean communities pooling their resources, hoping to build bridges with their neighbors. As such, it was the first multi-ethnic cultural festival in the state. Much has been accomplished since then, as the festival provides space for 15 different communities—including South Asian and Pacific Islander groups—allowing their children, and others, to learn and celebrate their heritage.

The event promises entertainment and fun from every angle, though the highlight might be the Asian Pop Dance and Parade. However, Anime—which is part of the cosplay component—is not the only cultural aspect. In addition to live performances by dance groups (the Cambodian-American Khemera Dance Troupe is pictured), a showing of Chinese master brushand-ink painter Richard Hsieh’s work provides one of the fascinating artistic offerings, as well as a collection of photos and memorabilia from past events. You’ll find lots to do and plenty to see in this event recognizing the diverse range of cultures that are part of Utah’s past and present.

(Casey Koldewyn) Utah Asian Festival @ South Towne Expo Center, 9575 S. State, Sandy, June 10, 10 a.m.-7 p.m., free, utahasianfestival.com

David Blaine

SB Dance: The Pushers

Utah Asian Festival

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Art on Demand

Walking the fine line between fandom and expecting artists to give you what you want.

BY BRYAN YOUNG comments@cityweekly.net @swankmotron

I

t’s been six years since the release of the last novel in the A Song of Ice and Fire series. Winds of Winter, the hotly anticipated next installment of the bestselling fantasy series, still isn’t done. Its TV adaptation that began in 2011, HBO’s Game of Thrones, has not only caught up to the stories in the books, it has surpassed them.

With the release of a new trailer for Season 7—which premieres next month—fans are reminded they still don’t have a book. Every time author George R.R. Martin pokes his head up, he is harangued—whether in person or online—for not being chained to his desk, churning out the next volume.

But what does he owe anyone? He’s living comfortably on the success of his art. Some artists take a long time to produce work that they’re satisfied with. Martin is not a monkey, and we are not grinding an organ for him. He will finish the book on his own terms, and he is the only person he has to please. Like the toy repairman in Toy Story 2 said, “You can’t rush art.” Hell, why would you want to?

Thing is, you don’t deserve anything more than what you’ve already paid for.

Just because the series isn’t finished doesn’t make him indentured for the price of the previous books.

Martin’s dilemma raises the question: What are consumers entitled to from artists?

He isn’t the only one subject to this act of cultural badgering. Author Patrick Rothfuss— who will be a guest at the next Salt Lake Comic Con in September—faces similar scrutiny. The second book of The Kingkiller Chronicle was released in 2011. Yet the best guess anyone has for the third book’s release date is an exaggerated shrug. But Rothfuss’ books are so good, I’m happy to wait.

It’s not just fantasy novelists who are the subject of this phenomenon, either. In May, when Vanity Fair released a new batch of photos and information for Star Wars: The Last Jedi, it was made apparent that Finn would not be following the path of the Jedi. Granted, anyone who saw The Force Awakens could have reasonably assumed that, yet there were still those holding out hope with their fan theories—and they immediately took to social media to harass The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson for his choice. Others complained to him about the lack of “classic” aliens in the shots.

big SHINY ROBOT

Some were bothered that Johnson hinted there would be no romantic arc in the new film, dashing their hopes of Rey and Kylo Ren falling in love.

Are these fans entitled to the opinion that something different should have been done? Yes. Should they feel comfortable harassing the director with their (in my view) misguided opinions? No. There’s another, more sinister side to these outbursts. When the trailer for the upcoming Star Trek: Discovery TV series was released, white supremacists and “men’s rights activists” went apoplectic. By featuring two strong female leads who aren’t white, the arguments went, Star Trek is contributing both to “white genocide” and the emasculation of men. Another group of fans was angry about the depictions of Klingons. Do the creators of Star Trek owe it to this small minority of tantrum-throwers to change anything? Absolutely not.

There are some instances where public expression of dissatisfaction can be good, though. In demanding more diversity and broader representation of race, ethnicity, sexuality and gender identity, fans can keep creators thinking about the way the culture is moving forward. Take a look at the whitewashing of this year’s Ghost in the Shell movie. When it was announced that Scarlett Johansson would be playing the role of a Japanese character in an adaptation of a Japanese film, claims of erasure of Asian characters were not only fair, but necessary. This wasn’t just random people crying on social media, either; journalists from dozens of websites and news organizations wrote editorials about the decision.

Racism and whitewashing—whether in art or in reality—need to be called out.

HBO

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A&E

Here’s my personal rule of thumb: When it comes to issues of justice, err on the side of speaking out. When it comes to personal preferences in the art, keep that as a personal opinion, and temper your outrage.

Art was never designed to give us what we want or expect; good art gives us what we need, even if we didn’t know we needed it.

So, let artists like GRRM, Rothfuss and Johnson do their thing without being harassed. Our patience will be rewarded. CW

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In a collaboration with Spy Hop and Adobe’s Project 1324, teens from around the world provide short audio pieces representing what the idea of “safety” means to them in the multimedia exhibition Safe and Sound at Utah Museum of Contemporary Art (20 W. South Temple, 801-328-4201, utahmoca.org), June 9-Sept. 23, with an opening reception June 9, 7-9 p.m.

PERFORMANCE THEATER

AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Kristen Ulmer: The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won’t Work and What to Do Instead The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, June 8, 5:30 p.m., kingsenglish.com Jane Sweetland: Sons at War The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, June 10, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com Christine Seifert: Factory Girls: A Kaleidoscopic View of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire East Millcreek Library, 2266 E. Evergreen Ave., June 13, 7 p.m., slcolibrary.org

SPECIAL EVENTS TALKS & LECTURES

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

JUNE 08, 2017 | 21

Holi Festival of Colors SLC Krishna Temple, 3375 S. 900 East, June 10, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., festivalofcolorsusa.com Tastemakers The Gateway Mall, 90 S. 400 West, June 9-10, 5-10 p.m., tastemakersutah.com Utah Asian Festival South Towne Expo Center, 9575 S. State, Sandy, June 10, 10 a.m.-7 p.m., utahasianfestival.com (see p. 18) Utah Scottish Festival & Highland Games Utah State Fairpark, 155 N. 1000 West, June 9-11, utahscots.org

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AC2: An Intimate Evening with Anderson Cooper & Andy Cohen Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, 801-355-2787, June 10, 8 p.m., artsaltlake.org (see Five Spot, p. 8)

SB Dance: The Pushers Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, June 9-17, 8:30 p.m., sbdance.com (see p. 18)

LITERATURE

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DANCE

David Huntsberger Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, June 8, 7:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Nikki Glaser Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, June 9-10, 7 & 9:30p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Open-Mic Night Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 801-532-5233, Wednesdays, 7:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Tom Clark Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Ogden, 801-622-5588, June 9-10, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

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The 3 Amigos Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, June 8-Aug. 19, dates and times vary, desertstar.biz Beauty and the Beast Draper Amphitheater, 944 E. Vestry Road, Draper, through June 12, Friday-Saturday & Monday, 8 p.m., draperartscouncil.org Cabaret Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855-944-2787, through June 24, FridaySaturday, 7:30 p.m., theziegfeldtheater.com David Blaine DeJoria Center, 970 N. State Road 32, Kamas, 435-783-3525, Friday, June 9, 8 p.m., $29.50-$69.50, dejoriacenter.com (see p. 18) Disney’s Tarzan Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, through Aug. 5, Monday-Saturday, times vary, haletheater.org Encore! First Impressions: A Broadway Benefit Concert Garden on the Green, 3700 E. Campus Drive, Ste. 100, Eagle Mountain, June 9, 7 p.m., westsidetheatreco.org (in)divisible Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, through June 18, times vary, planbtheatre.org (see p. 18) Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, through Aug. 12, times vary, hct.org Newsies: The Broadway Musical Tuacahn Center for the Arts, 1100 Tuacahn Drive, Ivins, 435-652-3200, through Oct. 18, tuacahn.org The Odd Couple Heritage Theatre, 2505 S. Highway 89, Perry, 435-723-8392, through June 24, times vary, heritagetheatreutah.com Pirates of the Carabeener Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, through June 10, 7:30 p.m., theobt.org Shrek the Musical Tuacahn Amphitheatre, 1100 Tuacahn, Ivins, 435-652-3300, through Oct. 20, dates and times vary, tuacahn.org You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown Brigham’s Playhouse, 25 N. 300 West, Washington, 435-2518100, through July 15, Thursday & Friday, 7 p.m.; Saturday, 2 & 7 p.m., brighamsplayhouse.com

COMEDY & IMPROV

FARMERS MARKETS

9th West Farmers Market International Peace Garden, 1000 S. 900 West, June 11-Oct. 29, Sundays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., 9thwestfarmersmarket.org Downtown Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 350 W. 300 South, June 10-Oct. 28, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org Provo Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 500 W. Center St., Provo, June 3-Oct. 28, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., provofarmersmarket.com Sugar House Farmers Market Fairmont Park, 1040 E. Sugarmont Drive, through Oct. 25, Saturdays, 5-8 p.m., sugarhousefarmersmarket.org

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

I Am I Mestizo Institute of Culture & Arts 631 W. North Temple, Ste. 700, through July 7, facebook.com/mestizoarts All of Us Beasts Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through July 7, heritage.utah.gov Barbara Ellard Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, through June 9, saltlakearts.org Bill Lee Gallery at Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through June 9, slcpl.org Christopher Lynn: Misplaced Wall SLC Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through July 19, slcpl.org Joseph Cipro: Cosmic Musings Gallery 814, 814 E. 100 South, 801-533-0204, through July 31 Michael Ryan Handley: Sublimation UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Sept. 9, utahmoca.org

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Petecia Le Fawnhawk: Desert Elements Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-355338, through June 10, modernwestfineart.com Richard Serra: Prints Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., 435-649-8882, June 10-August 20, kimballartcenter.org Rosalie Winard Art Barn/Finch Lane Galleries, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, through June 9, saltlakearts.org Safe and Sound UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, June 9-Sept. 23, utahmoca.org (see p. 21) Spring Group Show Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, through June 9, artatthemain.com Scott Horsley: I learned it from Watching You UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, June 9-July 15; Opening reception June 9, 7-9 p.m., utahmoca.org Tyler Bloomquist: Confusion FICE Gallery, 160 E. 200 South, 801-364-4722, through June 15, ficegallery.com Utah Watercolor Society Spring Exhibition Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, 801-965-5100, through June 28, culturalcelebration.org Wild America: Process and Preservation Modern West Fine Art, 177 E 200 South, 801-3553383, through June 10, modernwestfineart.com Willow Skye-Biggs: Tastes Like Mandy UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Aug. 12, utahmoca.org Woman/Women The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, 801-531-9800, through Aug. 31, theleonardo.org

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RESTAURANT REVIEW

Third of a Trio

BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @Critic1

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JUNE 08, 2017 | 23

6585 N. Landmark Drive, Park City 435-649-9654 parkcity.triodining.com

CAFÉ TRIO

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I

t’s easy to forget, but in the spring of 2002, when David Harries opened the first Café Trio (680 S. 900 East, 801-5338746, triodining.com) in Salt Lake City, it was a big deal—unlike anything else Utah offered at the time, including a menu packed with artisan wood-fired pizzas and flatbreads, which today would be routine.

The wine list was also innovative, with a small but well-focused selection, all available by the glass or bottle. At the time, I wrote this: “David Harries has produced the kind of restaurant I dream about: Not a Michelin three-star mecca of fine dining, but a hip and sumptuous-looking restaurant with tons of buzz appeal, good food and prices that make you scratch your head and wonder how he does it.” Café Trio was a breath of fresh air.

That was then; this is now. Fast forward 15 years to the opening of a third location in Park City’s Kimball Junction vicinity.

Restaurateur Mikel Trapp is now owner of all three, including the aforementioned spot downtown and a newer one in Cottonwood (6405 S. 3000 East, 801-9448746, cottonwood.triodining.com). With his latest addition, he has upped the ante.

For starters, Trapp has rehired Logen Crew as executive chef to head the kitchen in Park City. Crew worked previously at Log Haven, Fresco Italian Café and Current Fish & Oyster, and has been brought in to update and expand the restaurant’s offerings. Word has it that his new items will make their way to the Salt Lake City menus. I hope so, because there is a lot to love about Trio 3.0.

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” I remarked to co-owner/operator Dan Camp upon my first look at the space. Located across the street from the new Whole Foods and adjacent to a Hampton Inn, Trio is in a space formerly occupied by a Ruby Tuesday—but you’d never know it. A floor-toceiling, wall-to-wall makeover left no trace of the casual chain eatery. A large, backlit bar is the centerpiece of the restaurant, and a wood-fired pizza oven greets customers next to the entrance. The space is posh and modern, but also relaxed.

“That looks awful. I could only eat four or five of those,” my funny friend Joy remarked upon delivery of Parmesan flatbread ($4). Indeed, this simple starter is outstanding, and requires no sauce or extras. Additional flatbread options include one with tapenade, cucumber and chickpea purée, and another with fresh rosemary, goat cheese, tomatoes, roasted peppers and caramelized onions.

Since Trio has a dedicated bar area, you can pop in just for a drink. On such an occasion, you might want to nibble on something small, like housemade burrata and mozzarella with roasted tomato, basil oil and grilled bread ($13). My favorite starter is the bowl of three tomato-braised meatballs with ricotta and basil ($9); they’re hearty and heavenly. Another outstanding small-plate offering is grilled calamari ($12) with white beans, shaved carrot and charred lemon-scallion pesto.

Co-owner Jim Santangelo conceived the beverage list, and the staff is well-educated in food and drink pairings. The housemade spinach agnolotti cacio e pepe with pine nut crumble and basil ($18), for example, paired beautifully with Vietti Arneis.

Café Trio is a welcome addition to the Park City dining scene, and I look forward to seeing some of its new menu items soon at Salt Lake locations—Chef Crew and his crew are working on that now. CW

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Park City adds a new location to a restaurant family.

Grilled calamari small plate at Café Trio in Park City.

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Downtown Farmers Market Kicks Off

Everyone has their own special harbingers of summer, but one of Salt Lake City’s surest signs is the beginning of farmers markets. The Downtown Farmers Market at Pioneer Park (360 W. 300 South, slcfarmersmarket.org) kicks off its 2017 season on Saturday, June 10, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., once again bringing fresh produce and artisan food products to the heart of downtown. Items vary from week to week, naturally; but you can count on finding delicious breads, jams, specialty oils, candy and other year-round treats in addition to the yummy things direct from the garden. Once you’ve had a chance to grab the makings for your breakfast, lunch or dinner, you can also peruse the arts-and-crafts market, with dozens of local creators of jewelry, textiles, ceramics, paintings and more.

Main Street Table

Every summer, Park City’s Main Street turns into the state’s biggest and most boisterous dinner party, as tables stretch from end to end on Saturday, June 17 for Savor the Summit to serve you and a couple thousand of your closest soonto-be-friends. Beginning at 6 p.m., more than 25 Park City restaurants participate in the unique al fresco dining experience, as the picturesque mountain thoroughfare gives way to delicious food and wine, plus live music in the High West Distillery Spirit Garden at Heber Ave. and Main Street. To join in the fun, just make a reservation at one of the participating restaurants—Buona Vita, Handle, Shabu, Reef’s Restaurant and more or at parkcityrestaurants.com.

2991 E. 3300 S. | 385.528.0181

Hot From the Oven

In the mood for some pizza? 1000 Degrees Neapolitan Pizzeria opened its first Utah location in Midvale (7101 S. Bingham Junction Blvd., Ste. 102, 1000degreespizza.com) this month.

The fast, casual brick-oven pizzeria boasts authentic Neapolitan pizzas, in either build-your-own versions or a variety of popular concoctions like Buffalo chicken, smokey pollo or classic Margherita.

Award Winning Donuts

Quote of the Week: “I would say that I love pizza so much that sometimes I eat pizza while I’m eating pizza.”

—Mike Birbiglia Send tips to: comments@cityweekly.net

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Strapped

Utah County’s craft beer culture revs up.

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

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hen locals think about Utah County, beer isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Hell, it isn’t the second, third or 20th, for that matter. However, there is one island of sanity out there that’s striving to put the “happy” back in Happy Valley for Utah’s beer faithful. The story of Strap Tank Brewing Co. began just a few years ago, but to know how this lone wolf came into being, you need a little history lesson.

Now, before you start tuning out, I’d like to inform you that this is a very brief lesson. It starts way back in 1875, when a guy named John Dallin saw the need to fill the bellies of thirsty miners. Dallin’s operation burned bright for nine years, until it could no longer compete with the much larger breweries established in Salt Lake City and elsewhere. Once Dallin’s closed, there wouldn’t be a new brewery in UC until 2016, when local boy and home builder Rick Salisbury decided that it was time to bring craft brews back to Springville—the city he loves and was raised in.

In case you’re keeping score, we’re talking about a 132-year brewery drought, and that very long timespan was not lost on Salisbury. If he was going to do what few had attempted, he needed to not only win over the minds of Springville locals, but also a facility that would exemplify his hometown’s reputation as being Utah’s Art City. To draw inspiration, Salisbury looked to his passion in the world of classic motorcycles. The brewery’s name would come

One of the 10 beers on tap at Strap Tank Brewing. from the rarest of Harley Davidson motorcycles, the Strap Tank—he owns of one of three known to exist. The brewpub building itself would be a scaled down replica of Harley Davidson’s original 1870s factory.

Having a brewhouse is one thing, but a knowledgeable brewer is another.

After searching the nation for the right person, Strap Tank found their guy: Mike Demowski, a native of Austin, Texas. He was raised with respect for the craft, and had no issue relocating to a region not known for its beer. “This area that I’ve moved to is one of the most stunning that I could have imagined,” he says. “It’s easy to draw inspiration from communities like this that have so much to offer.”

Sure, vistas and geography are one thing, but when you get down to brass tacks, you’re still operating a brewery in one of the most conservative, anti-adult-beverage markets in the nation. Still, Demowski doesn’t see it that way. “My philosophy is ‘taste before intoxicant,’” he says. “Some in the community may not be on board with what we’re doing, but most of my interactions with the people that have been stopping by have given positive feedback.”

Strap Tank is currently serving a variety of beers on their 10 draft handles, including Flat Head American Lager, Sportster IPA and the Sgt. Holtz Dry stout. If lowpoint beers aren’t your thing, they’re also formulating a line of high-point beers that you’ll be able to enjoy from the comfort of your cave. Bring your growlers and stick around for the bacon-wrapped cheese bread. Those alone are almost worth the trip. Almost. Cheers! CW

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AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD

A sampler of our critic’s reviews

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Pupusas from Fernando’s Café Guanaco.

Fernando’s Café Guanaco

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It might be a rare day when one says, “We should go out for Salvadorian food,” but that could change if you’re stopped at the light at 500 East while driving west on 2700 South. Café Guanaco’s specialty is pupusas—a traditional Salvadorian dish consisting of a thick, handmade corn tortilla filled with a mixture of beans, meat and cheese—and you’ll find them in abundance. You might think that you’ll need a few—until your first bite. The dense tortilla is loaded with your chosen ingredients (pork, chicken, shrimp, steak and zucchini are available as the main filling); top it with a spicy slaw and some hot sauce, and you’ll be full. One is a meal; two is a feast. Appetizers, entrées and soups are also available. For dessert, the fried STORE plantains are soft, sweet, caramelized bites of deliciousness. It might be the textbook example of hole-in-the-wall; there are four tables inside and three outside, with mismatched chairs. The décor doesn’t matter, as all the attention has been given to making amazing food and a great experience for the customer. Reviewed June 17, 2014. 499 E. 2700 South, 801-484-6584, facebook.com/fernandoscafeguanaco

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CINEMA

FILM REVIEW

Desperate Times

It Comes at Night offers a chilling allegory for compassion vs. fear.

BY ERIC D. SNIDER comments@cityweekly.net @EricDSnider

I

Joel Edgerton in It Comes at Night. main family isn’t around. Those moments don’t reveal enough to convince us that Paul’s apprehensions about them are unfounded—there remains tension on that point until the shocking climax—but they do make us consider how the story would be different if it were from their point of view. Early on, Will tells Paul, “I know you’re just protecting your family, but don’t let mine die because of it.” Paul is the “hero,” and we put ourselves in his shoes: Maybe we would let another family die if we thought it would save our own. Paul, speaking of Will and Kim, warns his own family, “Have you ever seen people when they get desperate?” He doesn’t realize he’s describing himself.

Edgerton is excellently understated, often using just his eyes to convey his inner misgivings. As his son, Harrison gives the movie its heart and humanity, linking us to the lovethy-neighbor attitude that prevailed before the world fell apart. The question for us, as viewers, is whether that philosophy still has a place in our world, or whether the times have become desperate enough to require desperate measures. CW

TRY THESE Outbreak (1995) Dustin Hoffman Rene Russo R 28 Days Later (2002) Cillian Murphy Naomie Harris R Krisha (2015) Krisha Fairchild Alex Dobrenko R

IT COMES AT NIGHT

BBB.5 Joel Edgerton Carmen Ejogo Christopher Abbott R

Midnight Special (2016) Joel Edgerton Michael Shannon R

JUNE 08, 2017 | 29

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desire to protect his family.

This natural instinct has made Paul jumpy, so cautious about his wife and son that he’s indifferent, even cruel, toward others. They meet another, slightly younger family—Will (Christopher Abbott), Kim (Riley Keough) and their little boy Andrew (Griffin Robert Faulkner)— with whom they can share resources, but Paul is never sure he can trust them. Much of the film is seen through the eyes of Travis, a sweet kid who’s charmed by the newcomers and envious of their familial intimacy. Seeing this, Paul reminds him: “You can’t trust anybody but family.”

Paul’s fear infects Travis’ dreams, too, which comprise the movie’s creepiest imagery and serve as a running commentary on the daytime action. Everyone’s fear, whether awake or asleep, is that one of them will turn out to be infected, at which point severe protocols would need to be followed.

Shults isn’t interested in the details of the epidemic, though, or how it affects people’s bodies, but in how the threat affects their minds.

Though the pronoun in the title remains ambiguous—as several things do—fear seems to be the thing “it” refers to most. Shults captures this fear, this claustrophobic paranoia, with sweaty, nightmarish precision, incorporating shifts in the sound design and even the movie’s aspect ratio to disturb our sense of comfort.

Another smart choice Shults makes is to occasionally show us the second family when the

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

t Comes at Night opens on the lesioned face of a dying old man, surrounded by tearful loved ones wearing gloves and gas masks.

He has a fatal and highly contagious disease that has decimated the population. He’s euthanized by the end of the next scene—not to put him out of his misery so much as to protect his family from him. The man’s 17-year-old grandson watches it happen.

This is an intense psychological thriller, slowboiling and unsettling, written and directed by Trey Edward Shults, whose under-the-radar debut Krisha won near-universal acclaim in 2015.

Here, he presents another family in crisis, doing what they believe is right while plagued by doubts, fear, mistrust and an actual plague. Can over-caution be as destructive as carelessness?

How drastically can you alter your lifestyle to prevent harm before the alterations become worse than the thing you’re afraid of? Whether taken as an allegory for immigration, terrorism or something broader, Shults’ cool, sure-handed sophomore effort sticks with you.

Living in a spacious, isolated house in the woods in some part of what used to be America is a small family: Paul (Joel Edgerton), his wife Sarah (Carmen Ejogo) and their son Travis (Kelvin Harrison Jr.). Sarah’s father was the old man at the beginning, but she and Paul are of one unsentimental mind when it comes to matters of safety. The front door to the house (painted red for ominous effect) is always closed and locked, and any stranger the family encounters is assumed contagious unless proven otherwise. Paul, a history teacher before the plague, never intended to be a rugged survivalist, but has become one through his

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CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK

Rachel’s bed, obscured behind a gauzy bed curtain—help build the mystery that this story demands, all anchored by a pair of performances up to the task of making uncertainty fascinating.

Opens May 9 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG-13)—SR

I, DANIEL BLAKE BBB.5 Subtlety is rarely a characteristic of the working-class paeans from director Ken Loach and screenwriter Paul Laverty; when they’re at their best, it’s because they’ve found a ferociously specific humanity in their oft-didactic rages against a callous system. This one focuses on Daniel Blake (Dave Johns), a widowed carpenter in the northeast England city of Newcastle. He’s caught up in a bureaucratic mess when, informed by his doctors that he’s not fit to work after a heart attack, he still can’t get approval for benefits. Dan’s incredulous battles with various just-doing-my-job functionaries—and with his own computer illiteracy—avoid the trap of mere Kafkaesque institutional satire, thanks to the righteous, tart-tongued ire of Johns’ performance (“‘Cursor’? Fuckin’ apt name for it”). But it’s even richer from Dan’s friendship with a similarly frustrated single mother named Katie (Hayley Squires), and their mutually supportive makeshift family. Better yet, it reaches out from the moments of frustration to show the heartbreaking small moments when a person can show kindness and respect to another person in need, rather than convince themselves that it’s somebody else’s problem.

Opens June 9 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—Scott Renshaw

SPECIAL SCREENINGS

Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change.

IT COMES AT NIGHT BBB.5 See review on p. 29. Opens June 9 at theaters valleywide. (R) MEGAN LEAVEY BB.5 Somewhere on the road between “that’s nice” and truly inspirational lies this fact-based drama about Megan Leavey (Kate Mara), a hard-edged young woman who joins the Marine Corps and finds her calling as a handler for an explosives-sniffing dog named Rex. There’s the potential for rich character study in the story of two angry creatures who need one another—as much after their traumatic military service as before—and director Gabriela Cowperthwaite (Blackfish) handles the Iraq-set combat scenes with an effective handle on both the tension of never knowing when a threat will emerge, and the chaos after it does. But the human narrative rarely moves beyond a matter-of-fact flatness that blunts any attempt to give Leavey’s story real emotional impact. Mara’s prickly performance remains slightly distanced, making it hard for the story to retain its momentum when the focus in the third act becomes her stateside attempts to adopt Max after he is retired from service.

The connection between Leavey and Max generally feels more asserted than shown, leading to a movie where one woman’s crusade leads you to nod politely rather than stand up and cheer. Opens June 9 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)—SR

HAROLD AND LILLIAN: A HOLLYWOOD LOVE STORY At Park City Film Series, June 9-10, 8 p.m.; June 11, 6 p.m. (NR) LOVING At Main Library, June 12, 7 p.m. (R) NOTES ON BLINDNESS At Main Library, June 13, 7 p.m. (NR) WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER At Tower Theatre, June 10, 11 p.m. (R)

CURRENT RELEASES

CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS: THE FIRST EPIC MOVIE BBB.5 Dav Pilkey’s books embrace adolescent toilet humor with silly enthusiasm—and this cinematic adaptation not only captures that sensibility, but offers a spirited defense of it. Gradeschool best friends George (Kevin Hart) and Harold (Thomas Middleditch) see their comic-book creation Captain Underpants come to life when they hypnotize their antagonist, Principal Krupp (Ed Helms), and battle evil Professor Poopypants (Nick Kroll). That character name indicates the brand of humor on display, though it’s presented in a visually imaginative style incorporating CGI, hand-drawn animation, sock puppets and flip-book technology. But the screenplay by Nicholas Stoller gives the story a boost by celebrating the simple joy of laughter, no matter how lowbrow its inspiration. It’s unapologetic about doing the things that make kids giggle, and the liberating pleasure it takes makes it easier for a grown-up to giggle right along with them. (PG)—SR

THE MUMMY [not yet reviewed] Tom Cruise tries to survive a malevolent, relentless force that’s not Scientology. Opens May 9 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

LOVE, KENNEDY BB Writer/director T.C. Christensen, inspired by a Utah true story, follows Jason and Heather Hansen (Jasen Wade and Heather Beers) as they cope with a diagnosis that their teenage daughter Kennedy (Tatum Chiniquy) has a rare, likely fatal degenerative neurological disease. The focus is on Kennedy’s inspiring spirit, focusing on episodes where others allowed her to live out her dreams, or she touched others to be better people. But while Christensen successfully jerks more than a few tears, there’s little conflict to drive the story when Kennedy is almost exclusively a stoic saint, and her parents do little wrestling with anger or questioning their faith. Like many LDS-themed dramas of the past 20 years, the goal of this one is comforting reassurance.

It’s sweet, well-intentioned, earnest and—if one is not already inclined to accept its theology—a one-note hymn. (PG-13)—SR

MY COUSIN RACHEL BBB.5 A tale based largely on swirling emotions demands a subtle degree of non-verbal acting—and the pleasant surprise here is that both lead actors are up to the task. Roger Michell adapts Daphne du Maurier’s novel about an orphan named Philip Ashley (Sam Claflin), raised by a wealthy landowner cousin Ambrose, who— after Ambrose’s death—finds himself alternately suspicious of and infatuated with Ambrose’s widow, his distant cousin Rachel (Rachel Weisz). Michell does a fine job of setting the atmosphere of mystery, bolstered by Rael Smith’s ominously romantic score, and Weisz is unsurprisingly terrific as the enigmatic woman whose motives remain unclear. It’s the previously unremarkable Claflin who’s the revelation here, conveying Philip’s lack of sexual experience as a combination of rage and uncontrolled longing.

Gorgeously staged scenes—like Philip’s candlelit approach to

WONDER WOMAN BBB Taking a lesson from the DC TV universe, this superhero adventure finds success in celebrating actual heroism, as powerful Amazon warrior Diana (Gal Gadot) heads out into the world circa 1918 to help an American soldier (Chris Pine) win World War I. The narrative takes some cues from Captain America: The First Avenger in its retro origin story, but director Patty Jenkins finds a unique rhythm by delivering fun fish-out-of-water moments for Diana. More significantly, Wonder Woman actually seems interested in applying a corny throwback sensibility to its storytelling, with a protagonist built on idealism. The climax ends up feeling forced with a parade of explosions and slow-mo action bits, but it’s ultimately hard to resist mythic characters who guide us to our best selves, recognizing our own capacity to make it harder for evil to triumph. (PG-13)—SR

TRUE

TV

Science Friction

Dark Matter and Wynonna Earp return; Blood Drive revs up the grindhouse.

S

@bill_frost

Dark Matter (Syfy)

| CITY WEEKLY |

JUNE 08, 2017 | 31

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off all seven episodes over a couple summer weekends. Sad! Guess having more than two female-fronted shows (Broad City, Another Period) was just too much for CC. A whole lotta women chew scenery and buff cuticles in new Florida nail-salon dramedy Claws (series debut Sunday, June 11, TNT), another plain-folk-dabbling-incrime tale with an impressive cast, including Niecy Nash (Scream Queens), Carrie Preston (True Blood), Jenn Lyon (Justified), Judy Reyes (Scrubs), Karrueche Tran (The Nice Guys), Harold Perrineau (Lost) and Dean Norris (Breaking Bad). Claws’ sheer volume of colorful characters (example: Norris plays “Uncle Daddy, a dangerous Dixie Mafia crime boss who is deeply Catholic and actively bisexual”) nearly overwhelms the nails-and-drugs-and-moneylaundering narrative, but a surprisingly grounded Nash keeps the drama in check.

Following Fox’s “We’ve Given Up on Summer” lead that launched cheap-anddumb reality fillers Beat Shazam and Love Connection, ABC cedes Sunday nights with a trifecta of tripe: Celebrity Family Feud , Steve Harvey’s Funderdome and The $100,000 Pyramid (premieres Sunday, June 11, ABC). You’re probably familiar with Celebrity Family Feud and The $100,000 Pyramid, as they’re just terrible ’70s game shows (barely) reimagined for modern morons, but what the hell is Steve Harvey’s Funderdome? It’s Shark Tank but with a live audience voting to fund useless inventions instead of actual business experts.

Remember the memo: “Do NOT engage or make direct eye contact with Mr. Harvey!”

If, like me, you’ve been waiting for a Death Race 2000: The Series or a Grindhouse Cannonball Run, like, forever, rejoice!

Blood Drive (series debut Wednesday, June 14, Syfy) is finally here! Even better, it’s a cross-country death race wherein the cars run on blood! “Soaked in high-octane chaos and just barely approved for television” (oh, Syfy), Blood Drive follows ex-cop Arthur (Alan Ritchson) and trigger-happy Grace (Christina Ochoa), who are forced to partner-up in the race across an environmentally ravaged ’Merica in the “distant future” of 1999 (just go with it). In the summer of WTF TV (Twin Peaks, American Gods, etc.), Blood Drive is a pedal-to-themetal standout. I just might buy into this “rebrand,” Syfy. CW

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

yfy will be “rebranded” as a—get this—science-fiction channel on June 19; never mind that it was once upon a time actually called the Sci-Fi Channel. If you think that’s confusing, get ready for the return of Dark Matter (Season 3 premiere Friday, June 9, Syfy), everyone’s favorite show about amnesiac intergalactic criminals/models. The hook of the series is the gradual unveiling of each Raza crew member’s true identity as they hurtle through space, alternately solving and causing crises. The story doesn’t always make sense, but the actors (particularly Melissa O’Neil—2005 winner of Canadian Idol!) sell the drama and the action like there’s no tomorrow (not a cliffhanger spoiler … as far as you know).

Back on Earth, in the supernatural tsunami of Purgatory (lovely name for a town), Wynonna Earp (Season 2 premiere Friday, June 9, Syfy) finds the demon-hunting great-great-granddaughter of Wyatt facing a whole new set of threats: Since no one built a wall to Make Purgatory Great Again, the Ghost River Triangle is wide open and flooding the county with a fresh batch of demons, ghosts and Lord knows what else. Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) exudes Jessica Jones-like swagger, but the IDW Comics-based series is less angsty and more Buffy—when the demonic terror and violence subside, Wynonna Earp is the funniest show on Syfy (sorry, Z Nation).

All this, and a hot, immortal Doc Holliday?

Watch, already.

Last year, Jillian Bell and Charlotte Newhouse debuted Idiotsitter (Season 2 premiere Saturday, June 10, Comedy Central), a hilarious, flipped-to-female Workaholics of sorts that looked like another Comedy Central one-and-done. But! Idiotsitter is back for a second season, and broke “babysitter” Billie (Newhouse) and heiress “idiot” Gene (Bell) are now off to college.

However! After mysteriously pulling the season premiere from its April schedule, Comedy Central has decided that Idiotsitter is a two-and-through and will be burning

BY B I L L F R O S T

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Former Canyons members find substance in new band.

BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

H

earing that Canyons broke up late last year sucked. They’d completed two stellar EPs in a relatively short time, and these releases foreshadowed a brilliant full-length. Then, hope: Singer-guitarists Kate Anderson and Secily Saunders announced they’d continue to make music together in a new band, Winter Grain, as well as in marriage. Even better was the news that three of the five tracks on the new band’s debut EP are Canyons songs. But it makes you wonder if this is just Canyons continuing under a new name.

Seated on a small sofa in their Sugar House home, Anderson and Saunders say that’s not necessarily so. They knew, postCanyons, that they’d continue to write and play together. They were torn, however, over whether to start from scratch or re-record old songs. On one hand, a new band is a new band—and a fresh start. On the other, why let perfectly good songs die?

Ultimately, they sent several tracks to producer Ryan Hadlock, including Canyons’ recordings. “We sent a bunch of demos,” Saunders says, “and he just happened to pick these songs.” They decided to trust him—since he knows things, having worked with the likes of Foo Fighters, The Lumineers, Vance Joy and Brandi Carlile at his family’s Bear Creek Studios near Seattle. What’s more, Hadlock chose “The Fare,” “Don’t Force It” and “Solitary Trees”—recordings Saunders says were “just demo quality, anyway.”

Now, they just had to put together a band. “Up until a week-anda-half before we went, we didn’t know who was going up with us,” Saunders says.

Canyons formed somewhat spontaneously around Anderson and her songs, and Winter Grain came together similarly, as Saunders sees the new band as Anderson’s project, with her attached.

Guitarist Tim Neu (an original member of Canyons), cellist Melissa Collins and fiddle/mandolin player Tara Shupe all agreed to join for the recording. Afterward, Saunders says, “we realized we wanted to be a band.”

At first taking the palindromic tag Wolf & floW, they soon discovered the name was taken. Anderson asked everyone in the band to make suggestions, with the directive that the name “incorporate something that hits on a personal level.” Collins, who works for Summerhays Music as a luthier, suggested a woodworking term.

“When a tree experiences a harsh winter, it pulls its sap and nutrients into the ground for survival, and it doesn’t grow as fast,” Anderson says. “So, when you cut down a tree, the darker grains are the winter grains, and the lighter, the spring.”

It’s kinda perfect, she continues, “having been through a harder winter—for everybody.” Saunders runs down the list of the band members’ life events: “Becoming a parent, two new houses purchased, a breakup, a breakup, a breakup.” At the same time, Anderson, a helicopter pilot with the Utah Air National Guard, had an opportunity to train on the legendary Black Hawk chopper, which took her to Arizona until just over a week before Winter Grain would leave for Seattle. That meant the band rehearsed only twice and played two low-key private parties before tracking the EP.

ROB GILBERT

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LISTENING PARTY

Left to right: Melissa Collins, Tim Neu, Kate Anderson, Secily Saunders and Tara Shupe.

Canyons’ so-called demos sounded great, very much like a band, but Hadlock’s pro touch and constructive criticism, along with the new players and instrumentation, make a big difference in Winter Grain’s versions. With polish, the tunes gain sharper focus, but lose a touch of grit—not much, though, considering the pace of the events leading up to recording. The clean production suits Anderson’s clear-eyed lyrics and the group’s honeyed harmonies.

There is no wasted space, and the players serve the songs. The two new tracks—a smokin’ country number called “Breaking Glass” and sublime ballad called “The Wall”—fit nicely among their older siblings.

The EP is a fitting bow for a new band that came together out of hardship and stress, only to find an easy and real connection over five days in a secluded former barn. You can see how they became a unit throughout the experience, but also why. When you achieve this sort of alchemy, under these circumstances, with history but also a sense of renewal, you don’t force it—just let it ride.

Then again, there is one thing Winter Grain does want to control: how you hear the music. Instead of booking their first real gig for their album release, they went outside the box. Hoping to eliminate distractions and encourage focus, Saunders looked into renting Clark Planetarium for the band’s own Pink Floyd-style laser light party. She was pleasantly surprised when they agreed.

“They’ve never done it before,” she says, “so they’re just as nerdystoked as we are.”

It’s a new combination, for sure, but also kinda perfect. “Lasers and folk music,” Saunders muses. “That’s everybody’s dream, right?” CW

WINTER GRAIN LASER LISTENING PARTY

Wednesday, June 7, 8 p.m.

Clark Planetarium 110 S. 400 West 385-468-7827 $5 all ages clarkplanetarium.org

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EAT AT SUE’S! YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD BAR · FREE GAME ROOM, AS ALWAYS!

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Free ticket Tuesday at Rye! 1 entree = 1 ticket at Urban Lounge (while supplies last) www.ryeslc.com

JUN 08: BUZZWORD 6PM DOORS FREE EARLY SHOW

AN ADULT SPELLING BEE

JUN 08: STREET FEVER ALBUM RELEASE 9PM DOORS LATE SHOW

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JUN 09: PASSAFIRE 8PM DOORS

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COMING SOON Jun 17: Zimmer Jun 18: Big Business Jun 19: Hurray For The Riff Raff

Jun 20: 90s Television Jun 21: Zander Schloss Jun 22: Runnin On Emcees Tour

Marcy Playground’s debut album is 20 years old—but let’s talk Shapeshifter.

BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

M

arcy Playground is touring to celebrate 20 years since the launch of their self-titled debut album, released on vinyl for the first time on Record Store Day 2017. The album spawned the band’s lone hit, “Sex and Candy,” which spent 15 weeks at No. 1 on Billboard’s Modern Rock Tracks chart, and still gets airplay. The album received mixed reviews, but it deserved better. Fortunately, the odd, catchy misery of John Wozniak’s alt-classic rock songs found a devoted audience—but some of us think that MP’s actual masterpiece is their woefully underpromoted second album, Shapeshifter (Capitol, 1999).

Let’s warp back to a Saturday morning—the best day of the weekend—in early fall 1999. As kids, we’d awaken early on a Saturday to hours of colorful cartoons and giant bowls of sugary cereal—a first taste of independence while our parents slept.

In adulthood, Saturday is almost better: a refuge from adult problems, where we can still binge on flickering images and Fruity Pebbles and, if we’re lucky, act out Rule 34/Skeletor-on-She-Ra fantasies, sipping Jameson-spiked coffee in the afterglow.

Work bled into this particular Saturday, but my then-side gig writing about music was still new and fun. Sorting through CDs in search of review fodder, I found Shapeshifter. The blickum-blickum drums and roaring guitar of the opening track “It’s Saturday” snapped me awake as I proclaimed it a straight-up rip-off of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” until, 10 seconds into the song, Woz

MUSIC started yodeling. Still very familiar with its loud-quiet-loud verse-chorus thing, the song took on a different tone with its titular exclamation, and them yodels. The sun shining through the window, coffee brewing, bacon popping, not that much work and Woz singing, “Go out and play,” Saturday euphoria swept me away.

The sleepy acoustic number “America,” and its refrain, “Ooo-ooooo, yes, I always wanna be/ riiii-iii-ii-ight here,” gave me goosebumps.

The jangle-march of the sing-along anthem “Bye Bye” got my blood pumping again, and segued into the spacy raise-your-lighters track, “All the Lights Went Out.” Then came “Secret Squirrel,” a revved-up jam inspired by a 1960s Saturday-morning favorite, and “Wave Motion Gun” name-checking the late’70s cartoon Star Blazers. I played air guitar as MP went all Neil Young & Crazy Horse with distorted open chords on “Rebel Sodville.”

I rode the remaining highs and lows—the archetypical ’90s slacker-jam “Sunday Mail,” the hickoid rave-up “Pigeon Farm,” the somber “Never,” the stomping “Love Bug” and psych-folksy closer, “Our Generation”— thinking that I was fully immersed.

After years of repeated listens, I finally really heard Shapeshifter—probably not on a Saturday—and realized I’d missed some stuff. I heard how “It’s Saturday” goes from a kid faking sick to an adult facing the consequences of shirking responsibility and

TONY NELSON

New Expanded Hours for Rye: Monday-Friday from 9am-2pm Saturday and Sunday from 9am-3pm Friday and Sunday from 6pm-11pm

Paradigm Shift

Marcy Playground

good advice. “America” rang differently, as I’d come to question the validity of unconditional patriotism for a country I no longer recognized. “Wave Motion Gun” wasn’t about running around going, “pew-pew-pew!” but rather avoiding—and possibly losing—your life through drugs. I should’ve realized after Marcy Playground, thematic-tonal, musicallyrical contradictions are what Woz does best.

This shift doesn’t ruin the album for me.

When you’re a kid, you want your cartoons funny, your cereal sweet and your music simple and happy. As an adult, you appreciate things that are more difficult to digest, like conflict and irony. So while Shapeshifter changed for me, it’s actually more satisfying.

It accurately portrays life, which is an ebb and flow between delight and despair, not an endless string of Saturdays. If it were, we wouldn’t know how good those days can be. CW

MARCY PLAYGROUND

w/ Fuel Friday, June 9, 8:30 p.m.

The Royal 4760 S. 900 East 801-590-9940 $30 presale, $35 day of show, 21+ theroyalslc.com

Now Enjoy Full Menu Til Midnight Starting Monday, June 12 Mon. - Thur. ‘Appy Hour’ 2-6pm Saturday Brunch 11-3 Sunday Brunch 10-3 Monday Jazz Sessions 7pm w/ David Halliday & the JVQ

326 S. West Temple • Open 11-2am, M-F 10-2am Sat & Sun • graciesslc.com • 801-819-7565

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JUNE 08, 2017 | 35

BY RANDY HARWARD, ALEX SPRINGER & LEE ZIMMERMAN

LIVE

THURSDAY 6/8

With their penchant for slathering video models in slick black oil and a thrumming, portentous sound that one would expect to hear in a Nicolas Winding Refn film, Street Fever is a haunting homage to the golden age of brooding post-punk and synthwave music—with an industrial influence. Hailing from Boise, Idaho, the sometimes duo, sometimes solo act has made a name for itself with live performances that find band members sporting Lynchian facemasks and shattering keyboards with baseball bats. As a follow-up to 2015’s Afflictions EP (streetfever.net), the group is gearing up for the release of its second album, Enchaîné. It’s every bit as ominous as their debut, enticing only true creatures of the night to emerge from the shadows. Local duo Civil Lust adds Smiths-mope and Christian Death gloom to the festivities. Another Boise act, EDM duo 2C.G., also appears. (Alex Springer) Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 9 p.m., free, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

THURSDAY SATURDAY 6/8-10 The Kingston Trio

Taking their cue from The Weavers, Pete Seeger and Woody Guthrie, The Kingston Trio shares credit with Peter, Paul and Mary and The New Christy Minstrels for bridging the gap between traditional troubadours and those who would repurpose folk music for the pop charts. The Trio sang everyman folk standards—like their biggest hit, “Tom Dooley”—and sold three million copies (while 14 of their 19 albums made the Top 10) during America’s socalled “folk revival.” In the late ’50s and early ’60s, they were radio fixtures until The Beatles and their British brethren revolutionized rock ’n’ roll and shoved the competition aside.

Eleven different musicians have staffed the Trio since 1954. Its current incarnation featuring longtime members Bill Zorn, George Grove (both joined in the ’70s) and Rick Dougherty (since 2005) still entertains the loyal legions, bringing their music and memories out of the mothballs. (Lee Zimmerman) The Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, 8 p.m., $29-$60, all ages, egyptiantheatrecompany.org

TONY ANDERSON

Street Fever album release, Civil Lust, 2C.G

FRIDAY 6/9

The Total Package Tour: NKOTB, Paula Abdul, Boyz II Men

Pre-fab boy/girl bands are products.

They’re not artists, they’re bubblegum— not in music-journo speak, but actual bubblegum. Or soda pop. Or whatever the new, limited-time-only fast-food menu item is this week. Empty calories for empty heads, something sold to people who can’t be troubled to ponder the significance or substance of anything. But lately, I’ve realized that I like some songs by New Kids on the Block and Paula Abdul—and I’ve never hated Boyz II Men (aside from them selling $200 roses). Their tunes are simple and catchy, and they tickle my nostalgia center, reminding me of a simpler time when I was flippin’ burgers at Arctic Circle and wondering if my shift supervisor title would somehow translate to sexual triumph. Did I just say I have happy memories of a time

Street Fever when I was a fat, greasy, poor virgin?

Perhaps I’m overanalyzing it, but how is that better than now? I’m not as chubby, I no longer leave work feeling greasy (except on Astroglide Fridays), and I’m better off financially, so I can afford to pay for sex (especially on Astroglide Fridays).

Things are going great! But the vacuous bubblegum pop of today both sucks and blows. Is there a correlation? Is personal happiness inversely proportional to the quality of contemporary pop music? Urk— I’m doing it again. The proles have it right: Sometimes music is just fun (except when it’s bullshit). This Total Package is fun, for sure. (Randy Harward) Maverik Center, 3200 S. Decker Lake Drive, 7:30 p.m., $30-$200, all ages, maverikcenter.com

NKOTB

AUSTIN HARGRAVE

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TONY HOLIDAY

LIVE

Tony Holiday and the Velvetones

FRIDAY 6/9

Tony Holiday and the Velvetones

Local treasures with national renown, Tony Holiday and the Velvetones put a special stamp on their sound, delivering it with the credibility and conviction that’s the essence of true blues. Holiday was weaned on bluegrass and country, but he insists that “time completely stopped” once he heard blues great Little Walter. These days, he creates an indelible impression of his own through his expressive harp playing and vocal bluster. Along with guitarist Landon Stone, bassist Gordon Greenwood and drummer Joel Meza, Holiday and company cut a cool groove—a rugged, resilient sound that provides ideal accompaniment for dancing, drinking or simply soaking up the sounds. Restless road warriors, the Velvetones have shared stages with Willie Nelson, Beth Hart, Jimmie Vaughan, Blind Boys of Alabama, Mark Hummel and Tinsley Ellis among the many, but even so, they remain hometown heroes.

(LZ) Hog Wallow Pub, 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, 9:30 p.m., $7, 21+, thehogwallow.com

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TUESDAY 6/13

Spend the Night with Alice Cooper

Live music changed drastically since shock-rock pioneer Alice Cooper incorporated gimmickry into his music in 1968, influencing a litany of acts like Kiss, Gwar and Marilyn Manson. That’s not to mention a slew of copycats whose members were barely in diapers back when Cooper was slicing off his own head with a guillotine and dancing with 7-foot long boa constrictors. At once different and the same, gimmickry and theatrics—in the hands of arena-rock auteurs like Cooper— greatly enhance a show. Especially when the ringmaster of this psychotic circus still fully embraces that character at nearly 70, and comes up with new onstage trickery like transforming into a gigantic Franken-version of himself. One of the greatest performers who ever lived, Cooper is a demented master at work.

(AS) Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. President’s Circle, 8:30 p.m., $55-$90, all ages, kingsburyhall.utah.edu

LIVE MUSIC

KARAOKE (THURS) PHOENIX SOFT TIP DARTS

DIAMOND POOL TABLES LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS

DART SUPPLIES PAINT NIGHT (THURS & SAT)

3425 S. State St. Suite D 385-528-2547 Mon-Thurs: 11am-11pm Fri & Sat: 11am-1am Sun: 11am-10pm

THURSDAY 6/8 LIVE MUSIC

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90)

LIVE MUSIC

Après Ski (The Cabin) Colt.46 (Outlaw Saloon)

FALK-HAGEN BERNSHAUSEN

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Cheers to You SLC) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

has arrived!

SPIRITS • FOOD • GOOD COMPANY 6.8 6.9

PROPER WAY TONY HOLIDAY BAND FEATURING MATHEW BRODNAX 6.10 RAGE AGAINST THE SUPREMES 6.12 OPEN BLUES JAM HOSTED BY ROBBY’S BLUES EXPLOSION

6.14 6.15 6.16 6.17

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3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

JUNE 08, 2017 | 39

FRIDAY 6/9

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Chaseone2 (Twist) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Friday Night Fun (All-Request Dance) w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise (The Red Door)

Patio Time

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KARAOKE

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

When bands like Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden turned out not to be Satan worshipers, thrash, death and black metal bands jumped at the chance to give parents and preachers something to really worry about. So Slayer cartoonishly mined Satanism and Nazism and turned out to be no threat. Cannibal Corpse went all-in on gory imagery and, so far, none of its members have been found with a chest freezer crammed with torsos. Long-running Floridian death metal act Morbid Angel gave the Satanic/occult angle a good push, but eventually settled on a Sumerian, as opposed to Judeo-Christian evil, aesthetic—’cause you gotta be original. Fleet-fingered guitarist and founder Trey Azagthoth (born George Michael Emmanuel III) even claimed to be the reincarnation of a Sumerian god, and records alone in a dark, candle-lit room. Which goes to show you how hard it is to make it in the music business. Although Morbid Angel is still killin’ it musically after more than 30 years, they’ve failed to achieve the level of riches and fame that an alliance with ancient evil is said to provide. Unless, as with the aforementioned bands, this is all just an act, proving that all metal musicians, when it comes to anything but music, are posers (Norwegian church-burnin’, bandmate-slaughtering, brain-eating black metal bands excepted). “Morbid,” as fans know them, is back with singer Steve Tucker following a messy dispute with classic-era singer David Vincent—one that involves Azagthoth’s mom fighting the battle on Facebook. (Randy Harward) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 6 p.m., $24 presale, $28 day of show, all ages, thecomplexslc.com

Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) The New Wave (‘80s Night) (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Nora en Pure (Sky)

Morbid Angel, Suffocation, Revocation, Withered

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

DJ Battleship (Brewskis) Easy Star Allstars + The Late Ones + The Elovaters (The State Room) Emery + The Foreground + Jimmie Chesh + The Viiceroys + guests (In the Venue) Gang of Youths + Jarom Eubanks + Suit Up + Soldier (Kilby Court) Gleewood (Garage on Beck) The Kingston Trio (The Egyptian Theater) see p. 36 Lake Effect (The Spur) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) The Lunis (Liquid Joe’s) Marcy Playground + Fuel (The Royal) see p. 34 The Naughty Sweethearts & Jacob Skeen (Funk ‘n’ Dive Bar) New Kids on the Block + Paula Abdul + Boyz II Men (Maverik Center) see p. 36 Passafire + Bumpin’ Uglies + Herban Empire (Urban Lounge) Tony Holiday and the Velvetones (Hog Wallow Pub) see p. 38 Vader + Internal Bleeding + Sacrificial Slaughter + Voices of Ruin + Micawber + Dezecration + Envenom (Metro Music Hall)

SATURDAY 6/10

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Big D and the Kids Table + Left Alone + The Doped up Dollies + The Anchorage (Metro Music Hall) Chon + Tera Melos + Covet + Little Tybee (The Complex) Jake Chamberlain + Micah Willis + Mel Soul + John Michael Marinos (Kilby Court) Lewis Del Mar + Anna Wise + Blaenavon (In the Venue) The Kingston Trio (The Egyptian Theater) see p. 36 Milky Chance (The Complex) OK Go + Dan Deacon + Mojave Nomads (Ogden Amphitheater) Proper Way (Hog Wallow Pub) Reggae Thursday feat. Project 432 + Cash’d Out + Wicked Hangin’ Chads (The Royal) Street Fever album release + Civil Lust + 2C.G (Urban Lounge) see p. 36

CONCERTS & CLUBS

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40 | JUNE 08, 2017

(ALMOST) ALL DAY, E’RRY DAY

BAR FLY

RANDY HARWARD

Kissing Time: Garlic Burgers and Beer

The garlic burger at The Cotton Bottom Inn.

Indian Style Tapas

From the Creators of The Himalayan Kitchen Next to Himalayan Kitchen

The

Chakra Lounge and Bar

Weekend Music

Friday 6/9 - DJ Benetton Saturday 6/10 - DJ Curtis

ChakraLounge.net 364 S State St. Salt Lake City Open 5 - 1am Mon-Thurs • 10am - 1am Fri-Sun Offering full bar, with innovative elixers, late night menu & weekend brunch

There are nights when you wanna eat what you like, drink what you like and have your fill of each. But all too often nowadays, people wanna have a say in what you put in your mouth. They aim to control you, to disabuse you of the notion that consuming charred, garlicky red meat and a pitcher of carbonated, alcoholic liquid is a good idea.

They tell you it’s a ticking time-bomb, that it’s gonna make you erupt in a guttural explosion of noxious, particle-laden air that could level a city block, cause your friends to abandon you like Chernobyl—and ruin any chance that you’ll get laid that night.

Well, that’s your business, not to mention a price you’d happily pay to make your belly—your only real friend on this miserable mortal coil—deliriously happy. Now, what if I told you there was a place where you can find likeminded people who’ll overlook your particular stench if you repay them in kind? They gather daily up in Holladay, in a little shack beneath a graven image of a fluffy-butted, beer-swillin’ bunny who might go by the handle “Cotton.” They eat to their pleasure and, hunched over maroon felt tabletops, jam balls into pockets with sticks, laughing gustily, as though they all lack olfactory sense. This is the home of your people, stinky reader. And you, my friend, might be the leader they’ve been seeking. Unless I get there first—which I did.

Kneel before me. (RH) The Cotton Bottom Inn, 6200 Holladay Blvd., MondaySaturday, 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sunday, 11 a.m.-7 p.m. (kitchen closes at 6 p.m.), 21+, cottonbottominn.com

SATURDAY 6/10 LIVE MUSIC

AJR (In the Venue) Après Ski (The Cabin) Brian Setzer’s Rockabilly Riot!

(Sandy Amphitheater) Bro Safari + 4B + Bonnie X Clyde (The Complex) Carlos Emjay + Joshy Soul and the Cool + Shanin Blake (Funk ‘n’ Dive Bar) Collective Soul (Sandy Amphitheater) Colt.46 (Outlaw Saloon) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Funk & Gonzo (Johnny’s on Second) Kapix (album release) + Eldren + Thunderfist + Mortigi Tempo + Fontaine & the Dream Weavers (Urban Lounge) The Kingston Trio (The Egyptian Theater) see p. 36 Lady Dice + DL Downer (Club X) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) Live Trio (The Red Door) Marco Flores y la Jerez + Jesús Ojeda y sus Parientes + El Nuevo Sentido (801 Event Center) The Local, No. 1: Martian Cult + Heavy Dose + The Ghost Dance (Metro Music Hall) Metal Dogs (Brewskis) Michelle Moonshine Band (The Spur) Morbid Angel + Suffocation + Revocation + Withered (The Complex) see p. 39 Rage Against the Supremes (Hog Wallow Pub) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Widow Case + Head Portals + Little Barefoot + The Acoustic Fools + Victoria Mitchell + Pacificana (Kilby Court)

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© 2017

TAX DAY

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

1. Flash 2. Epps of “House” 3. Fighting words

52. U.S. state with counties named Lewis and Clark 56. Ephron who interned at the Kennedy White House 57. Org. that hosts the annual event Life@50+ 60. Female protagonist in “Fifty Shades of Grey” 61. Sch. whose yearbook is the Gumbo 62. Reagan ____ 63. “Family Guy” daughter 67. Unselfish person’s pronoun

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

DOWN

4. Raps 5. Ref. that added “LOL” in 2011 6. Juilliard deg.

7. Selfish person’s pronoun 8. Some TV drama settings, for short 9. To the ____ degree 10. Game requiring two decks of cards 11. Ethical way of spreading the wealth (as evidenced by 3-, 4- and 10-Down) 12. Uncertain reply 13. Farm towers 22. Organization whose name means “stupid” in Spanish 24. Actor McKellen 26. Sportsdom’s Foyt and Burnett 27. Prefix with content 28. Words before nose or hair 29. Final: Abbr.

30. Iwo Jima Memorial honorees: Abbr.

31. Stretched to the max 36. Pilot’s prefix 37. Sweet-talk 40. Meaning 43. Boat propeller 44. Mideast org. since 1964 45. Hamilton’s bill 46. “Either he goes ____ go!”

49. Maiden name preceder 51. Tirades

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Stewart who appears in the 2006 crossword puzzle documentary “Wordplay” 4. Praise 11. Most NPR stations 14. Texter’s “I think ...”

15. Cite 16. BBC : Britain :: ____ : Italy 17. Parents and the kids: Abbr.

18. Suffragist ____ B. Wells 19. Moo ____ pork 20. Olive whose measurements are said to be 19-19-19 21. “The Art of Loving” author Erich 23. When naming the publication she cofounded in 1972, Gloria Steinem considered it “in the spirit of making bad words good” before settling on Ms. magazine 25. Portuguese king 26. Walks 30. Knoxville sch.

32. Bill Clinton told him “together we give hope to gray-haired, chunky baby boomers” 33. “The Metamorphosis” protagonist 34. Blind parts 35. Lobbying grp.

38. Diego Rivera creation 39. Prefix with arthritis 41. Doz. eggs, commonly 42. Admit 47. Wife in “Arrowsmith” 48. Asthmatic’s need 50. Email folder 51. Food brand with a trolley car in its logo 53. Chinese menu general 54. Like ____ in the headlights 55. Fortune 500 company whose name is inspired by an Italian volcano 58. Badger 59. ____ pal 62. Brit. record label 64. Ode title starter 65. Day after hump day: Abbr.

66. Guarantor 68. Hockey great Bobby 69. ____ sauce 70. What “wurst” means 71. Sightseeing aid

SUDOKU

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44 | JUNE 08, 2017

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

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Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) “When I grow up, I’m not sure what I want to be.” Have you ever heard that thought bouncing around your mind, Gemini? Or how about this one: “Since I can’t decide what I want to be, I’ll just be everything.” If you have been tempted to swear allegiance to either of those perspectives, I suggest it’s time to update your relationship with them. A certain amount of ambivalence about commitment and receptivity to myriad possibilities will always be appropriate for you. But if you hope to fully claim your birthright, if you long to ripen into your authentic self, you’ll have to become ever-more definitive and specific about what you want to be and do.

actually happened. Don’t be surprised if you hear even more outlandish tales, too—like how you’re stalking Taylor Swift or conspiring with the One World Government to force all citizens to eat kale every day. I’m here to advise you to firmly reject all of these skewed projections. For the immediate future, it’s crucial to stand up for your right to define yourself—to be the final authority on what’s true about you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) You’re like a prince or princess who has been turned into a frog by the spell of a fairy tale villain. This situation has gone on for a while. In the early going, you retained a vivid awareness that you had been transformed. But the memory of your origins has faded, and you’re no longer working so diligently to find a way to change back into your royal form. Frankly, I’m concerned. This horoscope is meant to remind you of your mission. Don’t give up! Don’t lose hope! And take extra good care of your frog-self, please.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) If you chose me as your relationship guide, I’d counsel you and your closest ally to be generous with each other; to look for the best in each other and praise each other’s beauty and strength. If you asked me to help foster your collaborative zeal, I’d encourage you to build a shrine in honor of your bond—an altar that would invoke the blessings of deities, nature spirits and the ancestors. If you hired me to advise you on how to keep the fires burning and the juices flowing between you two, I’d urge you to never compare your relationship to any other, but rather celebrate the fact that it’s unlike any other in the history of the planet.

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20) The Milky Way Galaxy contains more than 100 billion stars.

If they were shared equally, every person on Earth could have dominion over at least 14. I mention this because you’re in a phase when it makes sense for you to claim your 14. Yes, I’m being playful, but I’m also quite serious. According to my analysis of the upcoming weeks, you will benefit from envisaging big, imaginative dreams about the riches that could be available to SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) People might have ideas about you that are at odds with how you in the future. How much money do you want? How much you understand yourself. For example, someone might imagine love can you express? How thoroughly at home in the world that you have been talking trash about them—even though could you feel? How many warm rains would you like to dance you haven’t been. Someone else might describe a memory they beneath? How much creativity do you need to keep reinventing have about you, and you know it’s a distorted version of what your life? Be extravagant as you fantasize.

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Do you have your visa for the wild side? Have you packed your bag of tricks? I hope you’ll bring gifts to dispense, just in case you’ll need to procure favors in the outlying areas where the rules are a bit loose. It might also be a good idea to take along a skeleton key and a snake-bite kit. You won’t necessarily need them. But I suspect you’ll be offered magic cookies and secret shortcuts, and it would be a shame to have to turn them down simply because you’re unprepared for the unexpected.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) “God doesn’t play dice with the universe,” Albert Einstein said.

In response, another Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Niels Bohr, said to Einstein, “Stop giving instructions to God.” I urge you to be more like Bohr than Einstein in the coming weeks, Capricorn.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) As a Cancerian myself, I’ve had days when I’ve stayed in bed from As much as possible, avoid giving instructions to anyone, includmorning to nightfall, confessing my fears to my imaginary friends ing God, and resist the temptation to offer advice. In fact, I recand eating an entire cheesecake. As an astrologer, I’ve noticed ommend that you abstain from passing judgment, demanding that these blue patches seem more likely to occur during the perfection and trying to compel the world to adapt itself to your weeks before my birthday each year. If you go through a similar definitions. Instead, love and accept everything and everyone blip any time soon, here’s what I recommend: Don’t feel guilty exactly as they are right now. about it. Don’t resist it. Instead, embrace it fully. If you feel lazy and depressed, get really lazy and depressed. Literally hide under the AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) covers with your headphones on and feel sorry for yourself for as Lysistrata is a satire by ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes. many hours as it takes to exhaust the gloom and emerge renewed. It takes place during the war between Athens and Sparta. The heroine convinces a contingent of women to withhold sexual privileges from the soldiers until they stop fighting. “I will wear LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) In the early days of the internet, “sticky” was a term applied to my most seductive dresses to inflame my husband’s ardor,” websites that were good at drawing readers back again and again. one says. “But I will never yield to his desires. I won’t raise To possess this quality, a content provider had to have a knack my legs toward the ceiling. I will not take up the position of for offering text and images that web surfers felt an instinctive the Lioness on a Cheese Grater.” Regardless of your gender, yearning to bond with. I’m reanimating this term so I can use it to Aquarius, your next assignment is twofold: 1. Don’t be like the describe you. Even if you don’t have a website, you now have a soul- women in the play. Give your favors with discerning generosful adhesiveness that arouses people’s urge to merge. Be discern- ity. 2. Experiment with colorful approaches to pleasure like the ing how you use this stuff. You might be stickier than you realize! Lioness with a Cheese Grater, the Butterfly Riding the Lizard, the Fox Romancing the River, and any others you can dream up.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Ancient Mayans used chili and magnolia and vanilla to prepare exotic PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) chocolate drinks from cacao beans. The beverage was sacred and Take your seasick pills. The waves will sometimes be higher than prestigious to them. It was a centerpiece of cultural identity and an your boat. Although I don’t think you’ll capsize, the ride might accessory in religious rituals. In some locales, people were rewarded be wobbly. And unless you have waterproof clothes, it’s probfor producing delectable chocolate with just the right kind and ably best to just get naked. You will get drenched. By the way, amount of froth. I suspect, Virgo, that you will soon be asked to do don’t even fantasize about heading back to shore prematurely. the equivalent of demonstrating your personal power by whipping up You have good reasons to be sailing through the rough waters. the best possible chocolate froth. And according to my reading of the There’s a special “fish” out there that you need to catch. If you snag it, it will feed you for months—maybe longer. astrological omens, the chances are good you’ll succeed.

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You’re not a daisy..

I’ve been hearing interesting stories lately of people who left Zion and moved to Portlandia, and are now running back here screaming, “Housing too expensive! Bad traffic!”

Yes, “crowded” is an understatement in P-Town, where there are more strip joints per capita than any other city in the United States—one per every 11,286 residents.

Where you have a vegan strip club called Casa Diablo, and stripper karaoke at Devil’s Point. Portland’s also known for its food truck scene and the number of craft breweries in the city and the suburbs—seems like there’s at least one on every block.

There’s an annual Naked Bike Ride with thousands of participants, and rentable goat herds that will eat your overgrown blackberry bushes to the core. The closest thing we have to Portland’s Pearl District or the Hawthorne Boulevard area is the old vibe of Sugar House.

I lived in the Sugarhood when I went to Westminster College and I loved the quiet little burb. There was a bar called the Sugar Bowl where Wells Fargo now stands on the corner of 2100 South and 1100 East. Certain bartenders wouldn’t check your ID if you were under age. There was Franhauser Jewelry (still there), and Granite Furniture Co., where we’d buy our first TVs. Gone is the Hygia Ice Rink, where we’d party in the winter. Chick-fil-A stands there now. And the tiny Tap Room bar was bulldozed. Yes, Sugar House was a homey, walkable part of the capital city.

Now folks say the traffic there is hell, and the small-town feel is gone.

The cute former “Sugar Hole” shopping area sat as a dirt lot for years after the crash of 2008. Now, it’s a six-story highrise and it’s about to double in size. A giant building went up on Wilmington Avenue (senior living apartments), and now Shopko’s 9-acre block is about to be turned into three more high-rises if city planners OK the site plan.

The proposed development includes a seven-story mixed-use residential building with 180 rentals, a six-story office building and other commercial space. Not to worry. Sentinal Development architects have drawn in a clock tower on Stringham Avenue to give the area some charm. As if. n

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The Alternative to Alternative Facts

S NEofW the

Troubling Airwaves A country-and-western radio station in Benson (near Tucson), Ariz., owned by Paul Lotsof, has periodically run “public service announcements” about one of Lotsof’s pet peeves: the harsh sentences usually given to mere “collectors” of child pornography. Many, he believes, are non-dangerous, daydreaming hermits—but often imprisoned for long stretches. Thus, his PSAs publicize tips for avoiding the police, such as saving child porn only on an external computer drive and hiding the drive securely.

Despite recent community outrage (causing Lotsof to retire the announcements), he remains defiant that, since he personally avoids child porn, he is merely exercising a free-speech right.

WEIRD

Can’t Possibly Be True The inexplicable ease with which foreign hackers attack U.S. computers and security systems is finally grabbing the attention of officials. In a March Washington Post report, a technology expert from Britain’s King’s College London told a reporter of his astonishment to realize that the “security chips” on Congressional staff members’ identification badges are fake: The badge “doesn’t actually have a proper chip,” he said. “It has a picture of a chip.” Apparently, he added, “It’s [there] only to prevent chip envy.” n Suzette Welton has been in prison in Alaska for 17 years based almost solely on now-debunked forensic evidence, but the state’s lack of a clemency process means she cannot challenge her life sentence unless she proves complete innocence. Evidence that the fire that killed her son was “arson” was based not on science but on widely believed (but wrong) folklore on how intentional fires burn differently than accidental ones. The bogus arson “trademarks” are similar to those used to convict Texan Cameron Todd Willingham, who suffered an even worse fate than Welton’s: Willingham was executed for his “arson” in 2004.

n Jose Calderon signed as a free agent with the Golden State Warriors in March, but the NBA-leading Warriors changed their mind for unforeseen reasons two hours after the deal and released Calderon. For his 119 minutes as a Warrior (from 6:068:05 p.m.), Calderon was paid $415,000.

n Felicia Nevins complained to reporters in May that the Pasco County, Fla., Sheriff’s Office had improperly drawn attention to her on a matter of a purely personal nature—that she had called for help, concerned that the sperm she was storing for in-vitro fertilization (kept under liquid nitrogen in a thermos) might

WONDER WOMEN

Fine Points of the Law In a legislative battle waged since a 1979 state court decision, some North Carolinians tried once again this year to change a state law that explicitly states that once a person (almost always, of course, a female) has consented to an act of sexual intercourse, that consent cannot be withdrawn—even if the encounter turns violent. The violence might be prosecuted as an assault, but never the more serious crime of rape. State Sen. Jeff Jackson, whose bill to change the law failed in April to get a legislative hearing, said, “We’re the only state in the country where ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘no.’”

Bright Ideas On testing day in March for Romania’s 14- and 15-year-olds, administrators of the country’s popular DEX online dictionary, acting on suspicion, changed the definitions of two words likely to be improperly looked up by cheaters during the exam. “[H]undreds” of school searches for the words took place that morning, but administrators were still mulling an appropriate punishment for the cheaters—who were, of course, easily identified by their misapplication of the suspect words.

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n With limited trade, investment and ownership rights, many Cuban producers are forced to improvise in order to bring products to market—like Orestes Estevez, a Havana winemaker, who finds condoms indispensable, according to an April Associated Press dispatch. The “most remarkable sight” the reporter saw was “hundreds of [open] bottles capped with condoms,” which inflate from gases as the fruit ferments. When fermentation is done, the condom goes limp. The AP also noted that fishermen use condoms to carry bait far from shore and which also increase tugging resistance when nibbling fish fight the line.

Awesome!

India’s Supreme Court approved an order recently that forced bars and liquor stores to close down if they were located less than 500 meters (1,640 feet) from state or national highways.

India Times reported in April that the Aishwarya Bar in North Paravoor, Kerala, is still legally operating at its old location even though it is clearly within the 500-meter restricted area. The owner explained that since he owns the land behind the bar, too, he had constructed a “serpentine” wooden maze in back and front that requires any entering customer to take the equivalent number of steps it would take to walk 500 meters. A tax office official reluctantly accepted the arrangement. n Canadian Anton Pilipa, 39, who suffers from schizophrenia, was discovered—safe—in the Amazon rainforest state of Rondonia, Brazil, in November 2016, which was the first sighting of him since his disappearance in March 2012. He was unable to communicate well and had no ID or money, but his family has actively been searching for him and believe the only way he could have traveled from the family home in Scarborough, Ontario, to Brazil (6,300 miles) was by hitchhiking or walking. Bonus: The area in which he was found is noted for alligators and snakes.

A News of the Weird Classic (November 2013) Secrets of Highly Successful Business Owners: When Michelle Esquenazi was asked by a New York Post reporter in September 2013 why her all-female crew of licensed bounty hunters— Empire Bail Bonds of New York—is so successful at tricking bail-jumpers into the open, she offered a (five-letter-long) euphemism for a female body part. “It’s timeless,” she counseled. “Of course he’s going to open his door for a nice piece of [expletive]. … The thing about defendants is no matter who they are [of whatever color], they’re all dumb. Every single last one of them is stupid.”

Thanks this week to Anthony Yeznach, Robin Daley, Michelle Jensen, Michelle Collier, Mark Lillicrap, Mel Birge and the News of

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Police Report In May, as Taunton, Mass., police were about to arrest Amy Rebello-McCarthy, 39, for DUI after she left the road and crashed through several mailboxes (with the crash causing all of her tires to deflate), she, laughing, told officers there was one other thing: She had a bearded dragon in her bra, where it was riding while she drove. The lizard was turned over to animal control.

the office’s Facebook page, but the Tampa Bay Times deduced her name from public sources.

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Leading Economic Indicators Andrew Bogut, signed as a free agent by the NBA’s Cleveland Cavaliers in March and expected to be a key player in the team’s quest to defend its league championship, checked into his first game and played 58 seconds before crashing into a bench and breaking his leg. For that 58 seconds, the Cavs owe Bogut $383,000.

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n Reverence for the lineage of asparagus continues in epic yearly Anglican church festivities in Worcester, England, where in April celebrants obtained a special blessing for the vegetable by local priests as a costumed asparagus pranced through the street praising the stalks as representing “the generosity of God.” Critics, including clergy from other parishes, likened the parades to a Monty Python sketch, and “an infantile pantomime,” with one pleading plaintively, “Really, for [God’s] sake,” can’t the Church of England offer “more dignified” worship?

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

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48 | JUNE 08, 2017

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Can’t watch it Hurts my heart Cast anchors in the past away Tempt my life, with a better start.

With you.

How could blue eyes be so wrong?

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Long hot summer nights with you Hold you close in the dark starlight Old night chill forgot--fires touch You give me such a rush Stars still bright forever in the sky Lost anchors set us free Starlight in your eyes releases me And love

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