City Weekly June 22, 2017

Salt Lake

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Utah's Independent Newspaper

Locked On Meet the energetic Jazz employee who refuses to hang up his headset in the offseason.

By Dylan Woolf Harris

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2 | JUNE 22, 2017

CWCONTENTS COVER STORY LOCKE VALUE

A former part-time ski instructor, David Locke hurdles his way into the Jazz arena.

Cover photo illustration by Derek Carlisle

13

CONTRIBUTOR

4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 16 A&E 21 DINE 27 CINEMA 29 TRUE TV 30 MUSIC 38 COMMUNITY

VAUGHN ROBISON

Graphic artist With Wild West swagger (and a wardrobe to match), it’s fitting that our newest designer took over the art director role at our sister paper, Planet Jackson Hole. When not excelling at layout and cover design, the self-proclaimed “thrift store cowboy” can be found on the back of Elmo, his American Quarter Horse.

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CITYW

COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

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Cover story, June 8, “Warrior Spirit”

I live in Temple View. I have halfheartedly read this article. I understand that Church College was built for the reason to assist and educate the indigenous people. It did that.

Our educational system now supports Maori and my children are doing well in it. I love the David O. McKay building; it was where I learned, worshipped, grew. It was my tabernacle. “Bricks-and-mortar people”—that’s what a labor missionary told me. We don’t pay tithing and serve with strings attached.

I now love the new stake centre. It is truly beautiful, and will bless the lives of my children and children’s children. I am so grateful that tithes and offers have been spent on beautifying our corner of the world. Come and see. I do not pretend to know much, especially about the church’s business arm; we are all human, but I feel so very blessed.

Our suburb is outstanding. Our new Pacific Church History Center is one-of-a-kind. It honors our heritage and no one can take that away from me by tearing down an old building. My Uncle Dave (labor missionary) was a bricklayer for around 50 years. He knew the life expectancy of concrete. My spiritual strength is stronger.

JODI BELBIN

more focused on real estate. It has gobbled up property in Nebraska and Florida in breathtaking amounts. All the while, it continues to collect 10 percent tithing from the poorest of the poor for what?

The LDS church is corporation masquerading as a church.

TANYA ZIMMERMAN Via cityweekly.net

Incredible story and exceptional reporting, City Weekly. Mr. Puriri, thank you for your story and dedication to saving your heritage! So glad your fight could be brought out of obscurity and into the public sphere.

LORRAINE EVANS JACKSON Via Facebook

Ra, so proud of you and your determination against considerable personal and family cost. The hijacking of Maori heritage by the church’s cultural colonialism, as you have seen, is part of the mask of the church’s real intent. Control and greed.

Getting the rank and file church members to support such control and greed is no small achievement. It’s Stockholm syndrome on an enormous scale. Learning to love your jailer. Great reporting!

CRAIG PERRITT

Via cityweekly.net

Via Facebook

Boring! As has been mentioned, big surprise! Why this Maori guy and his ethnic community aren’t asking more questions about why the LDS church does nothing to preserve the cultures it is colonizing is the imperative. Trading ancient wisdom for American consumerism built on a spiritual farce is the core of the matter. However, as long as this guy and others like him continue to live out the man-made God fable of life, there’s not much you can do. What I’m saying is, there is not a lot of middle ground, folks. Accept the church. Bye-bye, culture!

NICO PARCO

Via cityweekly.net Is anyone really surprised by any of this?

The LDS church has become more and

News, June 8, “The Amazing Race”

I’m rooting for Congressman Chaffetz to be jailed for breaking his oath of office.

MIKE CORONELLA Via Facebook

Your blurb about me is inaccurate, although I appreciate the rating of 1. I filed with the FEC in accordance with its directives the day I started to raise money due to the tweet I wrote challenging Jason Chaffetz’ iPhone vs. health care remark. Before that day, I had raised around $17,000 in an exploratory campaign. During the day of the tweet, I broke a fundraising record on Crowdpac. I called the FEC and they advised me to file, which I promptly did. The amount in my Crowdpac

account at the time of my filing was between $80,000 and 100,000, not $400,000 as you reported.

KATHIE ALLEN

Via cityweekly.net

JUNE

8, 201 7 | VO L.

34 N0 .

Warrior

Spirit

n Dark

Chaffetz -OMeter

The United Utah Party has a clear constitutional right to participate in this special election, which isn’t being held until Nov. 7, 2017. There are 55 court decisions, including three from the U.S. Supreme Court, striking down deadlines that are similar to Utah’s deadline. Chances are Jim Bennett will be on the Nov. 7 ballot.

RICHARD WINGER Via cityweekly.net

Get your mind out the gutter

.NET

A Maori Morm accountable on wants the church he for erasing his heritage. ld

By Stephe

Editor’s note: Information reflects amount as of May 24, the day candidates filed to run for the seat with the Lt. Gov.’s office, not whenever they filed with the federal election commission. At the time, it was widely reported this candidate had raised more than $400,000 by April.

Blog post, June 12, “Chaffetz-O-Meter: Bonus Round”

E E K LY

While I appreciate you reporting on the often-omitted third party candidates in the follow-up article, in particular Independent American which is often erroneously called “independent” (with a lowercase ‘I’) or nothing at all, I offered to explain my positions by phone call which you initially offered for the quick interview. Yet, your reporting on me sounds flippant and dismissive.

I have my personal reasons, and I’m one of a few candidates who labored on developing the campaign website on free time.

Not a candidate who could afford to spend thousands of dollars to hire the firm to develop [a] sophisticated campaign website like Henderson, Curtis and Allen. I spent less than a $100 setting it up with the expected campaign budget to be the maximum of $200.

Jason and I don’t agree on every issue,

p. 12 >> Th Congressiona e Amazing Race: Stackin g up l hopefuls on the Chaffetz 18 -O-Meter

p. 8 >> Andy and the infam Cohen on touring ous Kathy Gr iffin pic

especially his “libertarian” view of immigration. I offered to run as a gentleman’s agreement just for “the hell of it,” despite the improbable odds.

If you continue to report inaccurately, as Allen pointed out with her implied frustration (surprising since CW is supposed to be on the Democratic Party’s side with expected accuracy in journalism, noting Allen’s annoyance about inaccurate report on campaign finance), or taking my comments wildly out of context, as you did, I shall no longer be recepti[ve] to further interaction.

Jason and I share our semi-animosity toward the media—mainstream and otherwise—as the peddler of “gutter journalism,” as what happened to him and also me in the past.

Honestly, it would surprise us if the journalists accurately report our comments within meaningful context and without being sardonic, reinforc[ing] the stereotype of gutter journalism, as is common in England and Australia.

AARON HEINEMAN, Provo Author Dylan Woolf Harris responds: Aaron Heineman agreed to a brief interview if a fellow IAP candidate also participated.

When contacted, he remained reluctant but offered a statement supposing that readers would generally disagree with his views. If this blog post misrepresented Heineman’s political stance, I regret the mistake.

STAFF Publisher JOHN SALTAS Editorial

Editor ENRIQUE LIMÓN Arts &Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Senior Staff Writer STEPHEN DARK Staff Writer DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS Copy Editor ANDREA HARVEY Proofers SARAH ARNOFF, LANCE GUDMUNDSEN

Editorial Interns REX MAGANA, JULIA VILLAR Contributors CECIL ADAMS, KATHARINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, BILL FROST, MARYANN JOHANSON, JOHN RASMUSON, DAVE RIEDEL, MIKE RIEDEL, TED SCHEFFLER, CHUCK SHEPHERD, ERIC D. SNIDER, ALEX SPRINGER, LEE ZIMMERMAN

Production

Art Director DEREK CARLISLE Assistant Production Manager BRIAN PLUMMER Graphic Artists VAUGHN ROBISON, JOSH SCHEUERMAN

Business/Office

Associate Business Manager PAULA SALTAS

Technical Director BRYAN MANNOS Developer BRYAN BALE Office Administrators DAVID ADAMSON, ANNA KASER

Circulation

Circulation Manager LARRY CARTER

Marketing

Marketing & Events Director JACKIE BRIGGS

Marketing & Events Coordinator SAMANTHA SMITH Street Team ALEXANDRO ALVAREZ-KINNY, BEN BALDRIDGE, AARON ERSHLER, JAZMIN GALLEGOS, ANNA KASER, ADAM LANE, AMELIA PAHL, SYDNEY PHILLIPS, XANDER PRISKOS, LAUREN TAGGE, STEVEN VARGO

Sales

Dir. of Advertising, Magazines JENNIFER VAN GREVENHOF

Director of Advertising, Newsprint Division PETE SALTAS Senior Account Executives DOUG KRUITHOF, KATHY MUELLER Retail Account Executives LISA DORELLI, CHRISTIAN HAYES, PAULINA JEDLICA KNUDSON, JEREMIAH SMITH Digital Operations Manager ANNA PAPADAKIS Director of Digital Development CHRISTIAN PRISKOS

Digital Sales DANIEL COWAN, MIKEY SALTAS Display Advertising 801-413-0936 National Advertising VMG Advertising 888-278-9866

All Contents © 2017

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OPINION

Sears

Saturday. 9:30 a.m. Sears’ parking lot.

Like a docked container ship, the venerable store fills the block between State and Main along 800 South. The empty lot is a fishbone pattern of painted lines and Rorschach oil stains. Memories stir. In the mid-1960s, I often parked in the lot and walked across 800 South to Grogan’s Saloon. It was a gritty college bar where overamped local bands played “Louie, Louie” in every set. Like The Crow’s Nest, La Hacienda and the other college beer bars back then, Grogan’s was haunted by the vice squad. The woman I married got her comeuppance for showing them a fake ID one night.

The Sears Auto Center is on the west side of the big, windowless building. I bought new shock absorbers there before driving 2,000 miles to Fort Belvoir to serve as an involuntary soldier in 1968, the year of North Vietnam’s unforeseen Tet Offensive. The Army soon sent me to a remote base in Africa where my lifeline and fashion guide was the 2-inch-thick Sears mail-order catalog (the same one that sold 70,000 house kits in the first half of the 20th century.)

Returning to Utah in 1973, I went to Sears to buy a feeler gauge and point file so I could tune my Volkswagen’s engine.

I didn’t know what either tool was, but a hippie book, How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive, dictated that I learn to use them.

My next purchase at the State Street store was a Kenmore washing machine. It was necessitated by the ammoniac bucket of cloth diapers in the bathroom that always seemed about to overflow.

The diaper-soiler has grown up, married and moved to California. Point files are as anachronistic as hippies. Grogan’s is a

fading memory. So are the downtown stores of the era: ZCMI, Auerbach’s, The Paris. Sears is the last one standing, and it is showing its age. The big Sears sign is fraying; the shrubs in front are glum.

My memory train is derailed by people gathering at the door. At 10 a.m., door unlocked, I follow them in and across the shiny linoleum floor. Half heads for “Shoes”; the others ride the escalator down to “Tools.”

The lower level is so quiet that a cashier’s chatter reaches the appliance section in the far corner. For one accustomed to Home Depot or Walmart, with all that stuff overflowing into the aisles, the empty spaces at Sears are unnerving. Displays, shelves and floor space all need re-stocking. The “Temporarily Unavailable” sign on most of the checkout stations throughout the store seems an apt explanation for absent inventory.

It is no secret that Sears is on the ropes. A March USA Today story quotes Sears’ parent company as saying “substantial doubt exists related to the company’s ability to continue as a going concern,” an unsurprising but frank admission from a business that has been losing money since 2010. That Sears might follow Circuit City and Sports Authority into bankruptcy is hard to reconcile with my own experience over the years. Sears was the sought-after retail powerhouse to anchor shopping malls. The Sears Tower in Chicago was the tallest building in the world in 1973. For me, Sears was dependable. It was never trendy, more Corolla than Tesla; a place to buy work boots and wrenches, not little black dresses. I had faith in its Kenmore and Craftsman brands. I bought Diehard car batteries. In 1985, when Sears offered a Discover Card with an unheard-of “cash-back bonus,” I took it happily and used it to buy a Craftsman garden tractor at Searstown, a mall near my house in Massachusetts.

So why isn’t the 131-year-old company prospering? The answer is well documented:

BY JOHN RASMUSON

Competition from Walmart and its box-store ilk; the advent of online shopping; consumers veering off in different directions like a Cub Scout troop at Lagoon. Sears was the default retail choice for me, just as ZCMI was for my grandparents. Gen Y prefers Target, Costco and Home Depot. The retail ecosystem has evolved in line with Darwinian principles. The less-fit have fallen by the wayside. Hello, iTunes; so long, Tower Records.

Borders is gone; Amazon is thriving. I don’t register such market changes as they take shape just as I don’t notice dandelions until they bloom in a profusion of yellow flowers in my lawn. I did hear that Amazon is testing a grocery store without checkout registers, and I’ve read about internet companies whose algorithms will select and ship stylish clothes to clients on consignment. But more interesting to me is such retroverse developments as Amazon’s new brick-and-mortar bookstores. And online-retailer Bonobos’ stores where men can try on clothing because “style is opinion, fit is fact.” (Selected items are then shipped from a warehouse.)

Sears CEO Edward Lampert complains that unfair media coverage has contributed to the company’s declining fortunes.

A recent experience of mine suggests other problems. My car battery failed in January.

I jump-started the car and drove to Sears.

Leaving the car running, I walked into the store. It was mid-morning. At the service desk, a clerk fiddled with a computer trying to unravel a problem for the only other customer. The adjacent shop area was dark and quiet. After 10 minutes, the clerk acknowledged me with a perfunctory “Be with you in a minute.” I took advantage of our eye contact to ask how long it would take to replace a battery. “Four or five hours,” he said, returning to the computer. I walked out to the parking lot and drove away. CW Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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HITS&MISSES

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FIVE SPOT

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

Off the Charter

Today’s political climate is hot or cold, black or white, depending on how you like your platitudes. In reality, things are messy.

Take charter schools, for instance. A recent Salt Lake Tribune story highlighted the ugly underbelly of charters—specifically, mini-charter dynasty American Preparatory Academy. There are six mini-charters among the 119 charters in Utah, and all are run by Carolyn Sharette, executive director of the management company that contracts with the school. Oh, she is also the sister of Charter School Board Chairman Howard Headlee—the way-connected president of Utah Bankers Association. They pretty much get what they want. This time it’s land, and the question is on the power of eminent domain. The school’s Draper neighbors are having a fit. State school board member Carol Lear is at least skeptical: “Bullying neighbors and property owners seems outside of that initial mission.” Or is it?

A Shocking Discovery

The Legislature is out and all eyes are on the president’s tweets. But never ever is abortion out of mind for the Utah elite. A frontpage Deseret News report covered the shocking discovery that more than a quarter of women who had abortions in 2013 were married. Oh no, how could this be? Nationwide, it’s less than 15 percent. Aren’t their husbands stopping them from this ill-considered action? Well, the Pro-Life Action League would like to change that. Who knows a woman’s body better than a man, anyway?

The article did list the myriad reasons a married woman might choose abortion. At least the D-News let Utah Planned Parenthood Executive Director Karrie Galloway have a last word: “Social policies that make people more financially secure, such as affordable health care and insurance, also make them less likely to choose abortion.”

Hot Water

It­­‘s summer, it’s hot and you live in the second driest state in the nation. So it makes sense that you should be thinking about water— not only having enough to drink, but how to ensure that it’s adequate and safe. Remember Flint? A four-year effort to come up with a blueprint for 2060 is winding down, and the public gets one more chance to weigh in before it’s, well, water under the bridge.

The report notes some obvious shortcomings like the need for accessible data on water. Oh, and we need $16 billion to fix the existing infrastructure, both The Salt Lake Tribune and Deseret News noted. The good news is that the report emphasizes conservative and, ahem, science. The bad news is that it still contains $1 billion each to construct the Lake Powell Pipeline and the Bear River Project—kind of the antithesis of conservation. At least Utah is thinking about the problem, and you should make your opinions known.

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

HELP WANTED

There’s a new top cop at Point-of-the-Mountain. He’s Larry Benzon, warden of Utah State Prison for the past six months. The 52-year-old Monticello native supervises 665 employees—and, of course, some 3,000 inmates spread over the sprawling Draper prison site.

You came up through the ranks at USP, right?

Yes, I started as an officer and worked my way up to sergeant, lieutenant, captain and major, then associate warden and warden. I’ve worked in almost every area of the facility.

What’s been your biggest challenge thus far?

Getting public support for the job each and every officer does. These women and men are the backbone of our facilities. Every day, they willingly put themselves in harm’s way for public safety. Prison is not what you see on TV or movies: The days when officers were called ‘guards’ or ‘bulls’ are over. Officers are expected to resolve issues and sometimes violent confrontations with only the power of their presence and words. These officers are professional and highly skilled … but because of a TV show or movie, they’re often judged by that very poor example.

What more can be done to rehabilitate offenders?

We have a robust programming division that provides substance-abuse treatment, education, religious programs, vocational trades, sex-offender treatment and many other evidence-based programs shown to reduce the risk of re-offense after release. We work collaboratively to identify the risks of individuals and their specific needs. … But there’s always more we can do.

What do you tell citizens who say, ‘Throw away the key’?

Most of the offenders have made a mistake in their lives—as each of us have in one way or another. Some of their crimes are pretty heinous, while others are victimless. But I believe each of them deserves the chance to change—to be a productive citizen. Most offenders—I believe about 95 percent—at some point will return to the civilian population. Community involvement after release will help these guys get housing, work and stability after they get out. We’re making great strides in getting there.

What about gangs at USP?

There are several gangs within the correctional system. Some members are very violent and can be unpredictable. Officers and our gang unit work diligently to identify and house them where they can receive education, programming and job trades without disrupting the entire facility. Gangs are ever-evolving, and we have to stay on top of it.

Some states face a shortage of corrections officers. How about Utah?

Every state has issues. … Some don’t have our high standards with certification and testing. And some have lower starting pay. We struggle because few people wake up one day and think, ‘Hey, I’ll go to work for the prison.’ Officers often have been portrayed as mean and untrustworthy. It’s only when these people are exposed to actual officers at job fairs or at another public function, they realize the stereotypes are completely wrong. During the last legislative session, we put in place a pay plan that will help recruit and retain qualified staff.

—LANCE GUDMUNDSEN comments@cityweekly.net

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10 | JUNE 22, 2017

BY CECIL ADAMS

SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Take the Heat So, the world is warming. How bad can we expect things to get?

—Jeremy Ehrlich Some say the world will end in fire, Jeremy, and some say in ice. I hold with those who say: Why choose? The ice, melting off the poles, will be what does us in, but only as a result of the great anthropogenic fossil-fuel inferno—a combo that wasn’t on the menu of options Robert Frost had in mind. We discussed this stuff a few years back, when I noted that global warming seems to have forestalled any future ice age, perhaps indefinitely. That wasn’t good news then, and the future doesn’t look much rosier now. It does look wetter, however, according to a pileup of more recent studies on the sea-level problem.

Don’t get me wrong: There are plenty of other ways climate change will wreck the planet, including in the places that’ll escape the oceans—they’ll merely have drought and general aridity to deal with, and all its knock-on effects. A study last year held climate change responsible for a doubling of wildfires in the American West over the last 30 years. Elsewhere, drought will mean new migration patterns and resultant strife— I’ll point you toward convincing arguments that already we can assign some degree of responsibility for the Syrian civil conflict to rising global temps, the short version being that warming-induced drought pushed local farmers off their land and into cities, exacerbating preexisting social tensions. But if it’s the worst-case scenario you’re looking for, pal, then you’re gazing into the deep blue sea.

And you’re looking at, chiefly, Antarctica, whose disintegrating ice sheet could raise the global sea level 1 meter by 2100, and 15 meters by 2500—which would mean, as one researcher put it, “literally remapping how the planet looks from space.”

We’re seeing the beginnings of this play out: more frequent nuisance flooding in places like Charleston, on the more benign end; on the other, existential crises in places like Kiribati, a tiny Pacific Island nation that’s making plans to relocate wholesale before it finds itself underwater entirely.

The contemporaneous effects pale in comparison with what will happen on coasts, and particularly in coastal cities, if oceans rise to the extent of some projections. Sea levels just 2 meters higher will displace 2.5 million people from Miami, 1.8 million from Mumbai, more than a million each in New York and New Orleans, etc. We’re already exacerbating this problem—i.e., in ways beyond our economic addiction to fossil fuels.

More people are moving to coastal cities, leading to construction on land previously left undeveloped precisely because of flood risk. In some places, increased population can overtax the groundwater, causing cities to subside—literally sink as water is pumped from below. Sunny seaside Jakarta, with a metro area now home to 30 million, is expected to drop 6 feet by 2025—an inopportune development, one might say, what

with oceans on their way up.

So: How likely is 1 meter of sea-level rise, let alone 15 meters? Here’s where things get hazier, though I’ve got to say the outlook sucks. In its most recent assessment report, from 2014, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change laid out four scenarios for greenhouse-gas buildup in the atmosphere, called representative concentration pathways. The rosiest assumes swift action to curtail GHG emissions, and an emissions peak between 2010 and 2020; two mid-level scenarios have emissions peaking sometime in the 21st century; and one scenario, called RCP 8.5, envisions no peak at all, just a continuing climb—the worst case.

“Currently, and despite implementation of climate mitigation in several regions, global greenhouse gas emissions are following the highest, RCP 8.5, emission trajectory,” noted one cheery 2016 study describing the future of sea levels. Assuming we stay on the 8.5 track, the authors continue, average global sea levels should go up 0.9 meters by 2100, but again, that’s just the average; certain regions, including Southeast Asia and the U.S. Atlantic coast, could see something more like the 2-meter increase described above. But what if we can get a hold on emissions by the end of the century? Another recent paper, in the journal Nature, raises the possibility we don’t have that long: Continued high GHG levels in the next several decades alone could lead to an irreversible collapse of the Antarctic ice sheet, making that mapreconfiguring 15-meter rise an inevitability.

If there’s a silver lining here, it’s the overall uncertainty. These are, after all, projections, and researchers are only beginning to understand the highly complex system of the Antarctic ice sheet; a 2015 NASA study found that Antarctic snow accumulation has been enough to offset ice loss since the early ’90s, though that likely won’t last. The New York Times recently reported that U.S. and U.K. science foundations have initiated a big push to “get the data needed to refine the forecasts”—i.e., to figure how stable the ice sheet actually is, and what its future prospects are. But again, there’s nothing to feel particularly sanguine about. How bad will things get?

The fact that it’s difficult to say is pretty icy comfort. n

Send questions to via straightdope.com or write c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

A Question of Time

As advocates seek Board of Pardons’ compliance with audit, inmates languish under arbitrary sentences.

BY STEPHEN DARK sdark@cityweekly.net @stephenpdark

A

According to audio recordings City Weekly requested from the state Board of Pardons and Parole, Nicol acknowledged Wynn couldn’t pay the restitution. “Short of some miracle or somebody else getting ripped off,” she said, she had no idea how he would make good. She argued that him sending checks for $10 a month to his victims would be “an insult.” She noted, “As a victim, perhaps it’s more worth it just having you sit there.” The board agreed with her, ordering that he stay in prison for the entirety of the 15-year sentence Utah had given him. However, if he could pay his restitution, then he could be a free man.

The board’s Executive Director Greg Johnson says Wynn will leave prison on Aug. 24, 2023, “unless the board grants an earlier release.” He can apply for a “redetermination of this decision” in 2020. “The board expressed a White-collar criminals like Dennis Wynn can face tough demands from the Board of Pardons. willingness to consider an earlier other issues, while positive changes, she continues, that “sometimes we fear release if Mr. Wynn completes his such as completing programs that “rethat the main point of the sentencing case action plan and pays restitution.” duce their risk, pay restitution and othguidelines is to give prisoners false Wynn says he’s completed the plan, er pro-social efforts at rehabilitation” hope about when they will be released.” which was to get a job—he’s the librarcan lead to cuts in time served.

Anecdotally, Thomas says, the ACLU ian for his prison unit, for which he’s paid But not for Wynn, despite his contribuis aware of three groups of inmates $60 a month—but with no resources, he tions to a rehabilitation program. UPAN’s where the board tends to go above the faces staying in prison until he’s 68.

Prince writes in an email that he develsentencing guidelines: sex offenders, Wynn’s story is far from unusual, adoped a program called A REAL Transition women who have hurt or killed children vocates say. They point to a highly critithat has been authorized by the prison to and white-collar criminals. In some cal February 2016 audit conducted by be used at Gunnison and Promontory. cases, as with Wynn, the board orders the state that reads: “The board does not Ironically, given Wynn’s situation, it that they do the entire sentence. have a common sentencing or paroling helps inmates prepare for transition back Thomas says the board picks and policy (philosophy) to help guide their into the world post-release. It’s staffed by chooses “the milestones for ‘early redecisions and maintain consistency of volunteers with the LDS church, prison lease.’” Sex offenders found themselves sentence lengths for similar offenders.” spokesperson Maria Peterson says. “The trapped in prison because they couldn’t Molly Prince, co-founder of the Utah program was originally the idea of voluncomplete a program that an audit Prisoner Advocate Network, expresses teers, but Wynn and a few other inmates showed was “riddled with problems,” deep frustration about what she sees were instrumental in putting together she says. “For other prisoners, I have as the arbitrariness of the board’s senthe structure.” heard that an appropriate level of guilt, tencing policies. “There is nothing ‘fair’ Both UPAN and ACLU of Utah have regret or remorse is the vaguely define about how the Board picks and chooses been in discussions with board direcmilestone for ‘early release.’” to impose their decisions,” she writes tor Johnson about it being brought into According to information City Weekly in an email to City Weekly. “There is no compliance with the audit’s findings. requested from the prison and the uniformity.”

Thomas says they are working with the board, out of 25 inmates with securiIn Utah, convicted defendants receive board “to adopt a structured decisionties fraud as their primary charge, four indeterminate sentencing: zero-to-five making tool” akin to recommendations including Wynn have been ordered by years for a third-degree felony, onein the 2016 audit, as well as improving the board to serve their entire sentence. to-15 for a second-degree and five-tothe information flow to inmates about The other three are Larry Bosh (release life for a first. Sentencing guidelines are board decisions. date 2029), Nghia Cano (2035) and Ronsomething that the board can choose Wynn wants his day before the parole ald Udy (2026). to comply with or ignore. Wynn’s was board so he can tell them about REAL. Johnson says the board does not 19 months; he’s now done 105 months.

He isn’t afraid of the board, which can make inmates serve their entire senMuch to the surprise of inmates and only keep him until the end of his 15tence simply because they can’t pay even their defense attorneys, once an inyear sentence. That makes him luckier restitution. Seven inmates out of the dividual goes from being a defendant to than inmates with first-degree felonies, 25 have been granted parole or eara inmate, the sentencing guidelines “bewhere “the ‘cap’ at the top of the sentence ly termination of their sentence, he come meaningless,” the ACLU of Utah’s is life,” Thomas writes. “Basically, the notes. The board’s decision as to an inspokesperson Anna Thomas says. board can watch those individuals die in mate’s sentence and whether he or she “We are very, very troubled at the exprison if they aren’t able to satisfy some does the full time is based on various tent of their discretion, especially when vague requirements for ‘remorse’ or “aggravating factors,” he says, such as coupled with the lack of transparency,” completion of a particular program.” CW victim impact, criminal history and Thomas says. They’ve told the board,

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JUNE 22, 2017 | 11

fter Dennis Wynn was convicted of mail fraud in federal court in mid-2008, he packed a bag and drove himself to federal prison. His understanding was he would serve five years on effectively two separate sentences. The Utah Attorney General’s Office had prosecuted him at the same time as the feds for a case involving securities fraud, which resulted in a sentence of one-to-15 years. The federal prosecutor, Wynn’s then-defense attorney and the assistant attorney general staffing the Utah case had all agreed that Wynn would do five years in federal custody, while five years of the sentence imposed by a Utah district court judge would run concurrently, according to a court-filed 2014 affidavit.

But while Wynn was in federal prison, Utah put a “hold” on him, so that when he was released after 52 months, the state could take custody of him. Wynn wasn’t worried when the feds cut him loose. He had already gone way over his sentencing guideline of 19 months, a series of recommendations designed by the Utah Sentencing Commission.

He had paid $100,000 in restitution to six investors in the state case to whom he owed approximately $182,000. With a promise of work, a free place to stay and his record as a model inmate, he thought that his parole hearing would be a formality.

At that May 2, 2013, parole session, hearing officer Jan Nicol had other ideas. “It was a terrible experience,” Wynn says in an interview at the Gunnison-based Central Utah prison.

Nicol told him he owed more than $780,000 to 20 investors, numbers Wynn was hearing for the first time.

Later, he would find out the Attorney General’s Office had sent his defense attorney the sharply revised restitution, only, he says, for his attorney not to show it to him. He adamantly disputes the revised figure. In addition, Wynn discovered he did not know five of the 20 alleged victims, and that one, he says, had been in his federal case, not the state one.

CRIMINAL JUSTICE

UTAH DEPT. OF CORRECTIONS

NEWS

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12 | JUNE 22, 2017

CITIZEN REVOLT

In a week, you can CHANGE THE WORLD

THE

OCHO

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@Bill _ Frost

BEARS EARS INFO PANEL

Remember when Ryan Zinke road on horseback through the land surrounding the Bears Ears National Monument? Remember when Bears Ears was a national monument? If you think you know what’s coming and want to learn more about who’s working to protect the region for future generations, head to the Bears Ears Information Panel, a discussion with the Bears Ears Inter-Tribal Coalition. These five tribes—the Hopi, Navajo Nation, Ute Mountain Ute Tribe, Pueblo of Zuni and Ute Indians—are trying to squeeze into the political conversation about managing these sacred ancestral sites. Golden Braid Books, 151 S. 500 East, 801-209-1657, Sunday, June 25, 5-8 p.m., free, bit.ly/2r0nkjz

RESISTANCE COOKOUTS

They’re happening all over the nation— community cookouts to keep you brewing in the resistance. The brainchild of moveon.org, the Resistance Summer Community Cookout series aims to continue building a “nonstop peaceful resistance to the dangerous rhetoric and actions of the Trump administration and the GOP.” The cookouts, to which you bring a dish to share, are meant to celebrate the millions of Americans who have been active since the election and, of course, their accomplishments, however small. Lester Park, 663 24th St., Ogden, Saturday, June 24, 4-7 p.m., free, resistancesummer.com; Liberty Park, 600 E. 900 South, Salt Lake City, Monday, July 3, 5 p.m., free, bit.ly/2tviagr

MEET JILL STEIN

Yeah, yeah ... she lost, but she hasn’t gone away. Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein is coming to Utah for the Green Party state convention.

You don’t have to be a party member to want to hear An Evening With Jill Stein—her thoughts on the campaign and the politics that followed. You can hear all about Green politics—the Green New Deal and what the heck it is, as well as her ideas on ecological stewardship, social and racial justice, grassroots democracy, electoral reform and nonviolence. Stein will take questions from the audience, too. The Acoustic Space, 124 S. 400 West, Saturday, June 24, 4:30-6 p.m., $10, bit.ly/2s8wdvG

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

Eight new attractions at the 2017 Utah Arts Festival:

8. Cowboy Poetry Slam Pit &

Gun Range (sponsored by Skoal and Crossroads of the West Gun Show).

7. Touch Gov. Gary Herbert’s

Toupée kiosk (sponsored by Rascal Rugs Hair Emporium).

6.

Preschool of Rock Toddler Music Camp ’n’ Nap tent (sponsored by Huggies and Hot Topic).

5. Cat Splash! Feline Friends

wading pool (sponsored by Tinker’s Cat Café and Cowabunga Bay).

4.

The Nearly Visible to the Public Beer Garden of Shame (sponsored by Bud Light Lime).

3. Be an Afternoon DJ …

Please? booth (sponsored by KRCL 90.9).

2.

Coal: The Future of Energy learning center (sponsored by Big Coal® and Sen. Mike Lee).

1. Feed a Journalist for a Day

donation bucket (sponsored by City Weekly, The Salt Lake Tribune and all other local print media not owned by the LDS church).

Locked On Meet the energetic Jazz employee who refuses to hang up his headset in the offseason.

| CITY WEEKLY |

JUNE 22, 2017 | 13

BRENT ASAY / UTAH JAZZ

Two miles away from an NBA arena, he is speaking declaratively into a cell phone while he pulls up team statistics on his laptop. He tells the person on the other end that he’s trying to remain even-keeled, even though when he runs some predictive numbers, the prognosis is undeniably good.

On this mid-NBA season morning, he’s chatting in a Granary District coffeehouse, one known to be patronized by Boris Diaw, the Utah Jazz’ French power forward and espresso aficionado.

Punching a couple keystrokes, he focuses on a number glowing from his computer screen. “When Favors and Gobert are on the floor at the same time …” he begins.

This is quintessential Locke: the Jazz’ gregarious play-by-play radio voice who’s also a trove of NBA factoids and statistics.

He’s talking to esteemable NBA on ESPN color analyst Doris Burke, who’s presumably preparing herself for the night’s broadcast—one of the few nationally televised Jazz games at Vivint Smart Home Arena this year. Locke also will be covering the game later in the evening; he has ordered a cup of tea to soothe his vocal cords. To an outside sports commentator like Burke, looking for nuanced Jazz information, Locke is arguably the best source in town.

His insight is uniquely diverse. Locke dialogues with the coaching staff. Also an early disciple of the analytics movement, he assesses basketball through a numbers-driven lens. And having covered the NBA since the ’90s, he’s amassed extensive league connections and a crisp eye for the game. Conveniently, Locke—as the best sources usually are—is eager to talk shop.

“There’s a chance that we might be really great,” he affirms into the phone after relaying some defensive metrics.

The team’s positive outlook is a welcome change for the Jazz; the state’s beloved professional basketball team hadn’t won a playoff game since 2010.

But as the 2016-17 NBA season hit its stride, “Jazz Nation” was again whipped into a frenzy by the prospect of this year’s roster—anchored by pretty-boy all-star wing Gordon Hayward and rim-gatekeeper Rudy Gobert. The team would validate Locke’s optimism by going on to win 51 games, earn a fifth-seed playoff berth and topple the talent-laden Los Angeles Clippers in a Game 7 battle on the road—their third road win in the series.

A winning record, national exposure and a balanced team comprising likable young stars and wise veterans—it’s all catnip for a fan base that is recognized as one of the league’s most rabid. To them, Locke is a spigot of news and analysis.

For those fans who want more updates—who, during the season, scan box scores, posit front-office trades online and devour team news as it breaks in real time—he doles out “deep-level content” on his daily podcast, Locked on Jazz.

The podcast requires considerable time and effort. Contractually, Locke is not obligated to spend his mornings preparing and recording extra stuff, but for the last six years, he’s done it regardless—including through much of the offseasons. From its genesis, Locke has embraced the podcast’s amateur production and poked fun at his show’s opening onomatopoeic drum roll, which he pantomimes with goofy arm swings. But what the show lacks in bells and whistles, it makes up for in substance. Over time, it has grown into a sponsor-supported business. Drawing on his years as a radio host, Locke integrates commercials into his show. He’s also expanded his reach and namerecognition to a national audience.

The evolution of his podcast at times included segments on league-wide analysis, but he’s since splintered the Jazz focus and other NBA analysis into two podcasts: Locked on Jazz and Locked on NBA. That was the start of the “Locked on” expanse.

“I didn’t think people were doing it right,” he says of sports podcasts. Up until this point, most of them weren’t team-centric and were released on an unpredictable schedule, both of which Locke saw as flaws. From his days in a radio studio, he knew that local sports content had an advantage because of the inherent audiences.

“Local works over national every time,” he says. “Every local show that is any good is rated over a national show. Every time.” The “Locked on” tag provides branding.

A fan living in central Florida, for example, can download the Locked on Magic podcast and keep abreast of the team. Locke’s goal is to nurture a “Locked on” podcast for each team in the NBA, each team in the NFL, as well as specialty podcasts about golf, fantasy basketball and college sports. It launched less than a year ago.

Retaining talent has been a challenge in some markets, he says. The “Locked on” network had shows for 29 of the 30 NBA teams by the end of the season. Though he declined to disclose download numbers, he says the early indicators are good. The Locked on Warriors podcast, for one, recently announced that it reached its goal of 1 million downloads.

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David Locke doesn’t sit still very well.

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BY DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS dwharris@cityweekly.net @dylantheharris

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14 | JUNE 22, 2017

BRENT ASAY / UTAH JAZZ

“I get it. I’m a public figure, and part of being a public figure is being told that he’s an asshole at times.”

tdk

—David Locke

Clear Path

From a young age, Locke seemed destined to be a sports announcer.

The only child was raised in a two-parent home in a Bay Area suburb. He attended public school through eighth grade and private school from then on, earning decent grades, according to his father, Hal Locke. However, academics “wasn’t his strong suit,” Hal Locke explains. Instead, his son gravitated toward sports—especially baseball.

“I used to stay in at night and listen to my transistor radio in my bed,” David Locke says. Listening to Greg Papa call Giants games, “I felt like I knew the score, I knew strategy, what was happening, and I learned a little bit about the league.

“That’s my model; I hope you know a little bit more about the league, that you know a little bit more about the team, you know a little bit more about the game by the time the night’s over.”

He imagined action on the field even when games weren’t being played. Hal Locke remembers his son manning a board game called All-Star Baseball. By himself, the budding commentator would picture the plays in his mind and verbalize the action, as if describing the scene to an invisible audience.

“He kept a play-by-play of them, and he announced them as he was going,” Hal Locke says.

“From quite an early age, this attracted him.”

When Locke was around age 8, his father was a part owner of Solitude Ski Resort, and the two would visit Salt Lake City often. On one trip, Locke senior and junior were driving down a stretch of highway listening to the Jazz postgame wrap-up.

“David said, ‘That’s a great job, I’d like to have it,’” his father remembers.

Locke did some radio while studying at Occidental College in L.A., and eventually landed a job as a producer at the Jazz’ flagship station in Salt Lake City. In the late ’90s, he moved to Seattle to work for the Sonics franchise until he was fired in 2007.

He returned to Utah and worked in sports radio until legendary play-by-play announcer Rodney Clark “Hot Rod” Hundley retired in 2009.

He says he branched out into podcasts partly because Hundley set a high bar for radio announcing, and trying to fill those shoes at the broadcaster table alone would be a recipe for failure.

“There’s no road to success to try to be junior Hot Rod,” Locke says. “The world’s changing; technology is changing.”

Team Player

Longtime podcast listeners have undoubtedly come to expect Locke’s sprightly demeanor.

A parody Twitter account that spawned in May 2013, @UnLockedOnJazz, mimics his tropes and unbridled Jazz positivity and promotion (“Fans chanting ‘UnLocked Podcast’ at end was one of the most memorable moments of season!!” one tweet reads). It also touches at the nexus of Locke’s unofficial role as information source and spokesman: One of the most influential voices examining the Jazz is paid by the very organization he’s examining.

In this regard, his platform allows him to craft the team’s narrative. Locke, for example, doesn’t waste much breath second-guessing decisions made by Jazz Head Coach Quin Snyder or General Manager Dennis Lindsey (both of whom have also been praised in national NBA coverage).

He’s been noticeably soft on personnel and coaches from past regimes, though, that didn’t earn general accolades.

The question about the duty of a team announcer is apparent in a host like Locke. Should insiders placate the “homers”—sports slang used to describe blind apologists—or strive for unbiased analysis?

It’s a challenge ESPN writer Kevin Pelton recognizes. His friendship with Locke dates back to their days together in Seattle. But for what it’s worth, he thinks Locke is doing his best.

“Striking the right balance between remaining objective and supporting the organization is a tricky thing for broadcasters and team employees, particularly in this case because of the sheer volume of content David is creating,” Pelton writes in an email. “He manages to walk that tightrope as skillfully as anyone I know.”

When accused of spinning the truth, Locke says he brushes off such judgments. But it’s soon apparent that the accusation gets under his skin.

“On one level, it pisses me off because I’m busting my ass for you every single minute of the day doing all this extra work, and someone’s response to me is, ‘You’re just paid by the team,’” he says. “That implies that nothing I’ve said to you has any accuracy at all. The most grandiose insult you can give to me is to say that I’m lying.”

Locke doesn’t minimize the reality that he’s a team employee, he says, but that shouldn’t evaporate his credibility. Taking a moment to plug a ticket package doesn’t negate the latest statistical trend that he’s uncovered and is prepared to dissect.

“I work for the team—there’s no question,” he says.

“I’m never trying to deny it for one second of one day.

And if you don’t think the information I’m giving you is of value, don’t listen.”

There’s a certain irrationality at the root of fandom.

Ask the most impassioned sports fanatic after a loss what went wrong, and they’re known to dwell on counterfactual scenarios: Had the coach made this move or the player done that, the outcome would have changed.

It’s flawed logic, but while Locke identifies with the impulse, he also often pushes against it.

“I think about it all the time,” he says. “If I was a huge fan and didn’t get so lucky to get this job and wasn’t so honored as to be in the NBA, what would I be doing with social networks? I’d be killing people.”

But, he goes on, it’s wrong to assume one move would change a game’s outcome.

Then there’s the rare breed of fan that wallows in the lows, vigilantly and sadistically waiting for a team’s every misstep, then paints the offending coach/player/ executive of their favorite ball club as a pariah.

More than ever before, social media has given fans of all stripes a platform to publicly vent or celebrate. At its ugliest, their wrath has fallen to Locke. And though he admits he would at times like to verbally spar, he knows he shouldn’t.

“I get it. I’m a public figure, and part of being a public figure is being told that he’s an asshole at times,” he says. “You just deal with it.”

It’s clear, though, that he has a loyal following that is grateful for his continual grind of Jazz-related content.

Making Every Second Count

The path from childhood dreamer to acclaimed announcer reveals Locke to be less of a prodigy, though, and more an adamant guy who just can’t sit still.

As a political science and sociology major at Occidental, he and a roommate went on the college dial his senior year and called football, basketball and some baseball games. Although unrelated to his fields of study, Locke got an education in the broadcaster booth.

“Two college kids,” he says. “We called the Division III Occidental Tigers and had great experiences.”

He doesn’t know how many listeners tuned in, but guesses it was very few. The low-pressure gig allowed him to practice calling games, but it was after college that he launched into on-air analysis.

As a graduation gift, Locke’s father purchased 13 half-hour radio spots at a station in L.A., he says. He took to the airwaves every Sunday night through the summer months while half a dozen friends called in.

(Hal Locke doesn’t remember buying this, though he

opportunity that he describes as “the most important move of my life.” While running the station, Locke hosted an afternoon drive show and did pre-, post- and halftime segments for the games.

Despite running on fumes, ratings soared, he says, partly because Utah sports, most notably the Stocktonand-Malone Jazz, were performing well in the mid-’90s and piquing interest. But the ratings were also a reflection of the incredibly high standard of excellence, a benchmark embodied in signage around the office that read, “Use every second.”

“We had an unbelievable general manager, I had leadership that taught me how to do it, we had really talented people, and then I was insane,” he says. “I think anyone who worked for me during that time period will tell you, I was insane.”

He says now that the high-intensity, stress-inspiring atmosphere was unsustainable.

“Luckily for everybody, I moved on,” he says, referring to being poached by a radio program manager he knew in Seattle to do a nighttime show—a step back, but one that would allow him to create a better worklife balance. From there, he soon wound up calling WNBA games for the Seattle Storm, then the former Seattle Supersonics.

In 2007, Locke was abruptly fired by Sonics’ management. Media reported that the then-Seattle-based franchise was overhauling its front office and scouting departments and Locke didn’t make the cut. His response to the firing was diplomatic, saying that he held no illwill toward the team, but he was “bummed,” according to the Seattle P-I. Jobless, Locke thought about what else he could do to make a living. But the introspection only revealed what he already knew: Radio was all he knew.

He moved back to Utah to work for 1320 again, (the Jazz flagship station since moved to 1280 AM), until management named him to be Hundley’s successor.

Final Buzzer

In the second round, the Jazz matched against a finely tuned basketball buzzsaw that is the Golden State Warriors, a team that Locke believes to be one of the best to ever step onto the hardwood. The Warriors dispatched the Jazz in a four-game rout that ended in front of nearly 20,000 Salt Lake City fans.

Locke closed his call of the game, with copilot analyst and 1971 Utah Stars champion Ron Boone, by thanking dedicated fans for listening.

“It’s an incredible honor. I hope you feel from Ron and I every single night how seriously we take it, how much we admire your passion as a Jazz fan tuning into us. How much we try to bring you every little ounce of information and insight and knowledge about the team you care so deeply about,” he said.

His salutation, however, marked only the ending of Jazz basketball this season. While he could have hung up the headset and driven off to summer break, Locke immediately began putting out more content. He recorded a 13-minute “post-cast” with his colleague. (“We should all admire him,” Locke tells City Weekly of Boone.

“He’s 70 years old and getting better every day.”) The next morning, he recorded another.

Agreeing that “obsessive” and “strong-headed” accurately describe Locke, ESPN’s Pelton says those characteristics benefit the Jazz fan. “The only local broadcasters I can think of who approach the amount of content he puts out are those who were inspired by his approach,” he says.

Whether it be Facebook Live, Snapchat, Periscope or Google Hangouts, Locke tries to adopt any tool to connect Jazz followers to the team. He credits the Jazz organization for giving him a rein to engage fans filterfree. Other broadcasters, Locke says, are shocked by his unfettered freedom.

“There’s a huge risk to letting someone like me have the voice that I have,” he says, and so he grasps the opportunity. “Most organizations won’t let it happen.” CW

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does recall his son sticking around to do radio work, and says it’s possible he “helped him financially.”)

Locke reveres his father. When the topic strays from basketball to family, he speaks about Hal Locke with glowing superlatives. Without the paternal influence and support, he’s unsure he would have ended where he did.

“He is the one who kept readjusting my career. I went to college and got lost a few times, and he is the one who kept saying, ‘Hey, when you were 6 years old, you were the one playing board games and announcing them.

When you were 11 years old, you said you wanted to be the voice of the Utah Jazz,’” Locke recalls.

“He was the one that reminded me: You like going to the ballpark. Just find another way to go to the ballpark.”

With those guiding words, he entered post-college life eschewing his degree disciplines and focusing on sports media.

The radio spots gave him several hours of audio in addition to practice behind a mic. Armed with his tapes, Locke began to hustle for a job. As the summer after college turned to fall, he embarked on a road trip around the country, mailing demos and calling stations a few days in advance to ask for a chance to meet and interview.

It didn’t work.

So he moved to Utah to teach ski lessons. After the slopes, Locke would drive to town and sit in the lobby of a small, fledgling radio station, hoping that would land him a job. Eventually, the station acquiesced and hired him. At times, he turned on the radio signal in the morning before his shift, raced up the mountain to instruct skiing in the afternoon, then drove back at night to work at the station. This job quickly led to a full-time position at an established station.

At age 25, Locke was offered a job as program director at 1320 KFAN, the team’s flagship station. It was a career

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16 | JUNE 22, 2017

Salt Lake Acting Co.: Saturday’s Voyeur 2017 There are years when Saturday’s Voyeur—Salt Lake Acting Co.’s annual satirical musical comedy revue—is certain to focus on specifically local headlines. Then there are years when it’s impossible to ignore that national news has overwhelmed everything else.

“I think this year it’s mostly about how, nationally, the world has affected us locally, more than taking it completely local,” Cynthia Fleming, SLAC’s executive artistic director, says. “Because we’re all affected by this now.”

According to Fleming, longtime show writers Allen Nevins and Nancy Borgenicht had a particularly challenging time filtering a tumultuous year into a single show (a rehearsal pic can be seen above), but finally found a through-line in a James Bond-like premise where the Russians are the villains. Yet even some of the planned structure required revision as new breaking news came every day. “Early on, [Nevins] knew this would be Jason Chaffetz’ show,” Fleming says. “And Chaffetz all of the sudden resigned. But how [Nevins] made sense of that in the play is wonderful.”

As much as the world changes, Voyeur itself will bring a structure that has made it an institution for nearly 40 years. Song parodies are scheduled to include tunes from Newsies and a prologue, set the day after Trump’s election, sung to a variation of Don McLean’s “American Pie.” It also brings a biting sensibility to those who have spent 2017 wondering what will happen next.

“I know regular attendees have been saying, ‘I can’t wait for Voyeur,’” Fleming says. “They really need that cathartic experience, and I think they’re going to get it.” (Scott Renshaw) Saturday’s Voyeur 2017 @ Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-3637522, June 21-Aug. 27, dates and times vary, $45-$55, saltlakeactingcompany.org

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

LUCAS ACKLEY

SETH OLENIK

ERIKA AHLIN

THURSDAY 6/22

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, JUNE 22-28, 2017

SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT

ESSENTIALS

the

FRIDAY 6/23

SATURDAY 6/24

SUNDAY 6/25

With his doughy appearance, goofy demeanor, bushy beard and speaking voice that’s halfway between a mumble and a monotone, Brian Posehn isn’t exactly the kind of guy you’d imagine being an omnipresent TV star. Yet he’s a familiar face whose recurring roles in such hit comedies as The Big Bang Theory, New Girl, Seinfeld, NewsRadio, Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends and Just Shoot Me—not to mention Comedy Central’s The Sarah Silverman Program, the Netflix hit Lady Dynamite and FX’s You’re The Worst—make him that guy you recognize but whose name invariably escapes you.

Self-effacing to a fault, Posehn readily admits that his seemingly stoned persona isn’t necessarily a put-on. “I’ve been trying to quit smoking weed, and it’s really hard quitting pot,” Posehn has said in his stand-up act. “It was actually easier to become a vegetarian because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of beef.”

His comedy style often touches on his popculture nerdiness, which he addresses in his 2016 special Criminally Posehn, filmed in San Diego during Comic Con. If you’ve ever wondered what it might sound like when a comic-book enthusiast gets a lapdance from a stripper dressed for the convention clientele as Lady Thor, this is the guy for you.

It’s that droll approach that positions Posehn as the perfect comedian for our time, one who refuses to take himself too seriously. He sums up that sentiment like this: “Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh.” (Lee Zimmerman) Brian Posehn @ Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, June 23-24, 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., $20, wiseguyscomedy.com

La La Land might now forever be associated with the already-infamous Oscars blunder where it was mistakenly announced as the Best Picture winner. But the fact that it didn’t win doesn’t mean it’s not a delightful film—and one that lends itself well to Utah Symphony’s new program of presenting live-performance accompaniment of movie scores.

Justin Hurwitz’ music did win Oscars—both for the full score and the original song “City of Stars”—and this week the Utah Symphony plays that music at Usana Amphitheatre, set to a full screening of the movie on a 40-foot screen. As struggling would-be actress Mia (Emma Stone) and struggling would-be jazz musician Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) try to navigate their careers and their budding romance, the glorious tunes ring forth from the full orchestra, after only two twoand-a-half-hour full run-through rehearsals to nail the unique challenge of synchronizing their performance to the on-screen action.

Utah Symphony director of operations Jeff Counts believes there’s a unique dynamic when audiences experience a movie—even one they’ve seen before—in this particular way. “The live aspect of the performed score seems to convince viewers that the movie is live, too,” Counts says.

“The audiences cheer like it’s happening before them in real time.” In the outdoor venue, that experience might also feel like something akin to a drive-in movie—except instead of a tinny speaker, you get to hook a whole orchestra over your car window. (SR) Utah Symphony: La La Land Live @ Usana Amphitheatre, 5150 Upper Ridge Road, West Valley City, 801-417-5343, June 24, 7:30 p.m., $30-$70, usana-amp.com

According to organizational guru Marie Kondo, the key to decluttering your life is to look at each object you own and ask yourself whether or not that object brings you joy in that moment. If it does, then you should keep it. If it doesn’t, and it happens to be geek-related, you should bring it to Big Shiny Robot’s Nerd Swap Meet.

There, you can make sure that the piece of Star Wars memorabilia that you no longer have room for will go to an appropriately nerdy owner.

If you’re on the opposite end of that spectrum, the swap meet is a great place to find that perfect addition to your collection.

The kindly nerds behind Big Shiny Robot!— Utah’s own one-stop shop for geek news and reviews, including City Weekly columnist Bryan Young—have arranged a community swap meet to help rid yourself of excess memorabilia.

Partnering with Bohemian Brewery & Grill in Midvale, the swap meet is a great place to grab a beer, feast upon tasty bar food and either ditch or gain some gently loved collectibles. Expect to see everything from vintage Nintendo and Sega Genesis cartridges to back issues of your favorite comic book.

Vendors are all local, and, based on your haggling skills, are potentially open for bartering if you feel like bringing your own goods to trade.

Or, if you’re not interested in buying or trading, swing by for the company—it’s a great place to meet and greet other members of Salt Lake City’s geek community. (Alex Springer) Big Shiny Robot’s Nerd Swap Meet @ Bohemian Brewery & Grill, 94 E. Fort Union Blvd., Midvale, 2-7 p.m., free, bohemianbrewery.com

Brian Posehn

Utah Symphony: La La Land Live

Big Shiny Robot’s Nerd Swap Meet

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JUNE 22, 2017 | 17

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18 | JUNE 22, 2017

ARTS FEST

A&E

Putting It Together

Staging the Utah Arts Festivals tests organizational creativity.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

Best newspaper reporter: Stephen Dark Continuing coverage: Colby Frazier, UFA series (1st place) Daily and non-daily headline writing: Enrique Limón (1st place) Criminal justice reporting: Stephen Dark, “Shot Down: My Life After the Bullets” (1st place) Personality profile: Colby Frazier, “The Weather Inside” (1st place) Sports non-deadline reporting: Stephen Dark, “The Grits to Be Here” (1st place) Arts and entertainment writing: Enrique Limón (1st place) Review/criticism: Scott Renshaw, “New Eyes” (1st place) Plus recognition in the best newspaper, general news, news-oriented social media, overall blog and cover design categories.

Thank you to our staff, readers and supporters for making this happen. You can read all the above stories on cityweekly.net.

O

ver the course of its 41 years, the Utah Arts Festival has shifted locations, added programs and swelled annual attendance. One thing, however, has remained consistent: Every year is a new test of its organizers’ creativity in putting it all together.

After 2016’s big 40th anniversary—which included a unique, Legislature-funded free-admission day on the opening day— you could forgive UAF director Lisa Sewell if she wanted to take a year where everything stayed the same. But she and her staff are constantly tweaking the program, whether that means adjusting the placement of artist booths to allow for a few more spaces, or adding a Digital Art Lab with interactive workshops run by SpyHop. Still, there’s always the logistical Jenga game of fielding applications from hundreds of artists, musicians, filmmakers and others in a way that will result in a festival covering a broadly appealing range of genres and subjects. Program administrator Amanda Neff notes that the artist marketplace represents an all-time high of 174 participating artists, culled from 615 applicants. That task involves several variables: including returning award-winners; giving preference to Utah-based artists; making sure that a cross-section of styles and media are part of the program. This is all before the complex process of determining where each individual artist’s booth will be placed.

“Even if there’s an artist who comes back, they’ll want to be placed in the exact same location, because [they think] everyone remembers exactly where they were,” Neff says. “‘No, we’re going to put you over here this year,’ and they’re all up in arms.

But it gives it a freshness, just putting them in a different location.”

A similar challenge faces performingarts coordinator Steve Floor, who wrangles not only scheduling local groups like RirieWoodbury Dance Co. and Samba Fogo, but finding music headliners ranging from the Mississippi blues of Dexter Allen and Jarekus Singleton to the electronic dance music of RJD2. That process includes Floor consulting with 26 people across five committees, representing individual musical subcategories like rock, folk/bluegrass and classical. “I don’t know all this stuff,” Floor says, “so I rely on other people. I’ll be

AUSTEN DIAMOND

wins big at the Utah SPJ Awards

looking at some singer-songwriters, and I’ll wake up, then [the committee is] like, ‘Oh, this guy is the best singer-songwriter you’ve ever heard.’ Oh, OK. Then I look into him to find out why, and take it from there.”

The process isn’t even as simple as determining the best artists and inviting them; it’s crucial to Floor that the acts be well-suited to the unique conditions of performing outdoors. He mentions the example of a local musician who performs Persian-influenced music in Farsi, and who brings in a backing band of Los Angeles musicians, which would involve travel expenses. “I’ve seen her perform, and it’s pretty stunning stuff,” Floor says. “But in terms of volume level? The sound coming off that stage is quieter than I’m speaking right now. So I’ve been honest with her: I haven’t got a good place for you. I could put you on the Park Stage in the middle of the afternoon—that’s the only time when it’s going to be quiet enough for you guys to do what you do—but it’s not worth it because the other part of the puzzle is budgetary constraints.”

Finances aren’t so much an issue for Topher Horman, coordinator for the Fear No Film short-film festival. Instead, he creates a unique challenge for himself by identifying an overall theme for the year—“Memory” for 2017—and programming blocks of shorts representing subcategories within that theme.

“I’ll maybe jot down a thought in October, if I’m lucky,” Horman says of coming up with each year’s theme. “Let’s see if I can find a way that all these films can be programmed in. Other years, I see what these filmmakers are saying, and how they’re saying it, and it’ll hit me in the middle of the night: Oh that’s it!”

If a film works within his theme, Horman might select it, even if on some level he realizes it would never have a festival life anywhere else—and he takes time to explain his choices

The many venues of the Utah Arts Festival.

in introductions to the audience. “Film 3 is absolutely raw, not a cinematic masterpiece by any stretch, but here’s exactly why I fell in love with it and put it here,” he says of a hypothetical intro. “So, please forgive that you can barely hear the audio, or it was literally made by 12- or 13-year-old kids in some cases, but see it within the larger theme.”

That idea becomes part of the organizing principle for winnowing 500 submitted films down to between 60-70 accepted shorts, but he’s also considering the unique audience he’s serving. “I’ve got a 300-seat theater, and I’ve got a Utah Arts Festival audience,” Horman says. “Some absolutely crave inspiration through this year’s artists, and some are there with two beers in them, having a blast, listening to music.”

Now that the pieces are in place for 2017, it’s time to let visitors enjoy them—and be ready for a brand new set of unique factors for next year. Discussions are underway regarding possible layout changes to the Library Square campus, which theoretically could involve new construction or reducing in the amount of green space. “There are some things coming down the pike which could significantly impact festivals using the space,” Sewell says. If that’s the case, it will help to have a staff with so much experience looking at all the pieces they have available, and knowing how to turn that puzzle into a work of art. CW

UTAH ARTS FESTIVAL

Library Square/City & County Building 200 East & 400 South Thursday-Sunday, June 22-25, noon- 11 p.m. $10-$12 daily ticket, $35 full festival pass uaf.org

moreESSENTIALS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Brigham City Museum’s (24 N. 300 West, 435-226-1439, brighamcitymuseum.org) annual International Art Quilt Invitational Exhibition showcases the work of featured quilter Beatrice Bueche of France (“Contraste” is pictured), plus dozens more artists from the U.S. and around the world from June 16-Aug. 31.

PERFORMANCE THEATER

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

COMEDY & IMPROV

Brian Posehn Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, June 23-24, 7 & 9:30p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com (see p. 16) Free Kittens: A Stand Up Comedy Show The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 6 p.m., theurbanloungeslc.com Improv Comedy Benefit Show Sugar Space Arts Warehouse, 132 S. 800 West, June 28, 9 p.m., facebook.com/crowdsourced

JUNE 22, 2017 | 19

Margo Catts: Among the Lesser Gods The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801484-9100, June 23, 7:00 p.m., kingsenglish.com Jennifer Adams: My Little Cities The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, June 24, 11:00 a.m., kingsenglish.com Trish Dunca: The Continuing Story of the Princess and That Pesky Pea The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, June 24, 1:00 p.m., kingsenglish.com Paula Longhurst: A Case of Espionage The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801484-9100, June 27, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com

| CITY WEEKLY |

AUTHOR APPEARANCES

LITERATURE

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

Gina Bachauer International Piano Festival Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-3552787, through June 24, Thursday-Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 2 & 7:30 p.m., artsaltlake.org Millennial Choirs and Orchestras: Be Still, My Soul Salt Lake Tabernacle, 15 E. South Temple, June 23-24, millennial.org Utah Symphony: La La Land Usana Amphitheatre, 5150 Upper Ridge Road, West Valley City, 801-417-5343, June 24, 7:30 p.m., usana-amp.com (see p. 16)

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

The 3 Amigos Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through Aug. 19, desertstar.biz Cabaret Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855-944-2787, through June 24, FridaySaturday, 7:30 p.m., theziegfeldtheater.com Disney’s Tarzan Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, through Aug. 5, Monday-Saturday, times vary, haletheater.org Houses Riot Act Theatre, Kilby Court, 748 W. Kilby Court, June 23 & 26, 8 p.m., riotacttheatre.com The Importance of Being Earnest Westminster College Dumke Auditorium, 1840 S. 1300 East, through July 1, times vary, pinnacleactingcompany.org Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, through Aug. 12, times vary, hct.org A Midsummer Night’s Dream Peery’s Egyptian Theater, 2415 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 801-689-8700, June 24, 7p.m., egyptiantheaterogden.com Newsies Tuacahn Center for the Arts, 1100 Tuacahn Drive, Ivins, 435-652-3200, through Oct. 18, tuacahn.org A Night at The Imperial Off Broadway Theatre, 272 Main, 801-355-4628, June 23-July 29, Friday, Saturday & Monday, 7:30p.m., theobt.org The Odd Couple Heritage Theatre, 2505 S. Highway 89, Perry, 435-723-8392, through June 24, 7:30p.m., heritagetheatreutah.com The Rainmaker Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, through June 24, times vary, drapertheatre.org Saturday’s Voyeur Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through Aug. 27, times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org (see p. 16) Seussical The Musical Eccles Theatre, 131 S. Main, 385-468-1010, June 23-Aug. 7, dates and times vary, artsaltlake.org Shrek the Musical Tuacahn Amphitheatre, 1100 Tuacahn, Ivins, 435-652-3300, through Oct. 20, dates and times vary, tuacahn.org

West Side Story Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, June 19-22, 8 p.m., culturalcelebration.org The Whale The Hive Theatre Co., Sorensen Unity Center, 1383 S. 900 West, through July 1, FridaySaturday, 8 p.m., hivetheatre.com

moreESSENTIALS

SPECIAL EVENTS FESTIVALS & FAIRS

Big Shiny Robot Nerd Swap Meet Bohemian Brewery, 94 E. Fort Union Blvd., Midvale, June 25, 2-7 p.m., bohemianbrewery.com (see p. 16) Fairy Tale Festival Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, June 24, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., thanksgivingpoint.org Taylorsville Dayzz Summer Festival Gary C. Swensen Valley Regional Park, 5100 S. 2700 West, June 22-24, taylorsvilleut.gov Kings of Destruction Demolition Derby Deseret Peak Complex, 2930 W. Highway 112, Tooele, June 24, 7 p.m., deseretpeakcomplex.com Utah Arts Festival Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, June 22-25, noon-11 p.m., uaf.org (see p. 18) Utah Uke Fest Highland Community Center, 5378 W. 10400 North, Highland, June 24, 10 a.m.-9 p.m., utahukefest.org West Side Arts, Food & Music Festival Sugar Space, 132 S. 800 West, June 24, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., restorenorthtemple.com

20 | JUNE 22, 2017

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SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, AUGUST 19TH & 20TH

RACING

Oval Racing Rocky Mountain Raceways, 6555 W. 2100 South, 385-352-3991, June 24, 4-10 p.m., rmrracing.com Quarter Midget Racing Rocky Mountain Raceways, 6555 W. 2100 South, 385-352-3991, June 23, 6-10 p.m., rmrracing.com Midnight Drags Rocky Mountain Raceways, 6555 W. 2100 South, 385-352-3991, June 23, 9 p.m., rmrracing.com

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

All of Us Beasts Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through July 7, heritage.utah.gov The All-State Utah High School Art Show Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, Salt Lake City, 801-524-8200, June 22-July 29, slcpl.org Anthony Siciliano, Desarae Lee: Phenomenal Allegories Art Access, 230 S. 500 West, Salt Lake City, 801-328-0703, through July 14, accessart.org Chris Bodily and Heather Romney: Strange News from Another Star Downtown Artist Collective, 258 E. 100 South,

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downtownartistcollective.org Christopher Lynn: Misplaced Wall SLC Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through July 19, slcpl.org Corinne Humphrey: Tao of Rudy: Essential Dogma for Everyday Joy Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through August 7, slcpl.org I Am I Mestizo Institute of Culture & Arts 631 W. North Temple, Ste. 700, through July 7, facebook.com/mestizoarts International Art Quilt Invitational Brigham City Museum, 24 N. 300 West, Brigham City, 435-226-1439, through Aug. 31, brighamcitymuseum.org (see p. 19) Masterworks of Western American Art David Dee Fine Arts, 1709 E. 1300 South, 801-583-8143, through Aug. 31, daviddeefinearts.com Joanna Johannesen: Reflections of My Soul Anderson-Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, 801-594-8611, through July 20, slcpl.org John Vehar-Evanoff Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-355-3383, through July 15, modernwestfineart.com Joseph Cipro: Cosmic Musings Gallery 814, 814 E. 100 South, 801-533-0204, through July 31 Julie van der Wekken: Shadows & Reflections Day-Riverside Library, 1575 W. 1000 North, 801594-8632, through July 15, slcpl.org Linnie Brown and Kristin McDermaid Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, through Aug. 4, saltlakearts.org Michael Ryan Handley: Sublimation UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Sept. 9, utahmoca.org Nathan Florence: In a Common Act of Magic Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-3553383, through July 15, modernwestfineart.com Richard Serra: Prints Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., 435-649-8882, through Aug. 20, kimballartcenter.org Safe and Sound UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Sept. 23, utahmoca.org Sandy Williams Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, through July 16, artatthemain.com Scott Filipiak Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, through Aug. 4, saltlakearts.org Scott Horsley: I learned it from Watching You UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through July 15, utahmoca.org

DINE

Chef-inspired, Locally Sourced

Gourmet

Burgers

WILL MCMASTER

Summer

Nono: Yes, Yes!

Find Neapolitan pizza perfection at 9th & 9th.

A

Winning Wine Open 7 days a week.

206 S. West Temple ˜ 801.890.5155 ˜ fatjacksut.com

| CITY WEEKLY |

JUNE 22, 2017 | 21

925 E. 900 South, SLC 385-444-3530 pizzanono-slc.com

Award

PIZZA NONO

100+ Beers

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nd on the best day, God created pizza.

Well, OK—let’s not give the Big Guy all the credit. Hungry humans had a lot to do with introducing pizza into our culinary repertoire. No one really knows which wise person first used tomatoes or other ingredients as toppings on what was probably flatbread—which dates back to ancient times. The early Greeks ate a flatbread topped with garlic, herbs and onion called plakous.

Food historians say the first documented case of the word “pizza” occurred in Gaeta, circa A.D. 997, and that it was a spinoff of the Romans’ focaccia. Once tomatoes were introduced to Europe from the New World, pizza was all but inevitable.

Someone in Naples—bless his or her soul—created what we today think of pizza by adding tomatoes sometime in the 18th century. Back then, pizza was typically sold from carts or open-air stands, usually by the slice or paper-wrapped piece.

It is thought that Naples’ Antica Pizzeria Port’Alba was the first indoor pizzeria in that city.

Although pizza is ubiquitous in the United States today, it didn’t arrive on our shores until the early 20th century.

Gennaro Lombardi is credited with opening America’s first pizzeria in 1905. If you ever find yourself in New York City’s Little Italy neighborhood, stop by Lombardi’s on Spring Street; it’s still going strong.

Pizza is about nothing if not diversity. It’s why I’m hard-pressed to name my favorite place. After all, styles range from Chicago, New York City, New Haven and California models to Neapolitan and Sicilian, and

employ various cooking methods: woodfired, coal oven, broiler-baked, cooked in a deck oven and more.

If I had to choose a style of pizza as my single favorite—akin to having to choose your favorite child—it would be Neapolitan. Purists contend there are only two authentic types of Neapolitan: marinara and Margherita. If you’re a fan of this type of pizza, you’re in luck because Pizza Nono has nailed it.

A great Neapolitan pizza is a surprisingly simple thing—made with just a handful of ingredients—which is why it’s so hard to get right. There’s no hiding an inferior crust or sauce under layers of pineapple and pepperoni. A true Neapolitan pie— according to the Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana—consists of dough made with 0 or 00 flour that must be formed by hand, and is baked in a stone oven heated with oak. The prototypical pizza Napoletana is the Margherita, which is topped with only the best quality sauce made from San Marzano tomatoes, fresh mozzarella cheese, basil and extra virgin olive oil.

At the 9th & 9th neighborhood’s Pizza Nono—nono means “ninth” in Italian— owner/chef Will McMaster has conquered the art of Neapolitan pizza making. His Margherita ($10) is as good as any I’ve ever tasted—and I’ve sampled hundreds. It’s all about quality control, and Nono’s simple and straightforward menu helps keep quality high. The menu consists of four mainstays, plus a pizza of the week. A couple of simple salads are offered—kale Caesar and an arugula—along with a seasonal side such as broccolini. That’s it.

Aside from the outstanding Margherita, I’d also recommend the Rocket Man ($12), topped with fresh mozzarella, fontina, prosciutto di Parma, Grana Padano and arugula. For a more contemporary take, the Beehive ($11) has tomato, fresh mozzarella, calabrese, pickled jalapeño and honey. CW

OPEN

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BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @Critic1

Pizza Nono’s Rocket Man

Patio

AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD & Fresh Nayarit Style Seafood

BY SCOTT RENSHAW @scottrenshaw

Mi Lindo

Nayarit 

#303



COURTESY HOMIES BURGERS & SHAKES

145 E. 1300 S.

Homies’ bacon cheeseburger

801.908.5727

No Place Like Homies

The former Wingers location at 300 South and State Street has re-opened as Homies Burgers & Shakes (329 S. State, 801-363-1977)—and with a designation like that, you get a pretty good sense for what you’ll find. The menu features satisfying diner fare like fish-and-chips, BLT sandwiches, 1/3-pound burgers and chicken strips, plus teriyaki bowls and salads. Top it off with a 12-ounce shake that comes with one complimentary topping. The outdoor patio could make it a particularly attractive summer spot for a rib-sticking downtown lunch. Check out the menu at homiesrestaurant.com

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22 | JUNE 22, 2017

FOOD MATTERS

Kids’ Summer Cooking Class

AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930 -CREEKSIDE PATIO-87 YEARS AND GOING STRONG-BREAKFAST SERVED DAILY UNTIL 4PM-DELICIOUS MIMOSAS & BLOODY MARY’S-LIVE MUSIC ON THE PATIO-SCHEDULE AT RUTHSDINER.COM“In a perfect world, every town would have a diner just like Ruth’s” -CityWeekly

“Like having dinner at Mom’s in the mountains” -Cincinnati Enquirer

With school out, parents are often looking for ways to keep kids from developing a case of the “I’m bored”s. So as long as you’re looking for interesting activities to occupy their summer days, consider giving them a skill that can help around the house. Pleasant Grove’s Parks & Recreation Department offers three-session classes—Monday, Tuesday and Thursday in a single week—teaching young wouldbe chefs ages 5-16 how to prepare a couple of dishes. For the week of June 26, for example, students can emerge with the ability to make cinnamon French toast bites and quiche toast. Some special requirements apply for younger children; fees are $9 per class for Pleasant Grove residents and $10 for non-residents.

Call 801-785-6172 or register online at rec.plgrove.org.

2991 E. 3300 S. | 385.528.0181

Taste South African Wines

Kids aren’t the only ones who can learn things this summer. Wine educator Sheral Schowe leads a tasting focusing on South African Wines and Cheeses of France at Harmons City Creek (135 E. 100 South) on June 24 at 6:30 p.m. Learn the 400-year history of winemaking in South Africa, plus five wine-and-cheese pairings, for $65 per person. Register at harmonsgrocery.com/classes.

Award Winning Donuts

Quote of the Week: “Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius.”

—Matthew McConaughey

4160 EMIGRATION CANYON ROAD | 801 582-5807 | WWW.RUTHSDINER.COM

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705 S. 700 E. | (801) 537-1433

TASTE SUMMER...

18 MARKET STREET

•

801.519.9595

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LUNCH • DINNER • COCKTAILS

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JUNE 22, 2017 | 23

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24 | JUNE 22, 2017

BEER NERD Appy Hour

Three beer-related apps to geek-out with.

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

W

hen I first started this Beer Nerd adventure around the turn of the century, there weren’t many options to guide you to your next big beer affair. Living this lifestyle in Utah basically meant showing up at your favorite craft beer watering hole and engaging with whomever was available. This actually was my preferred method to network with other like-minded individuals; however, it was limited to a small geographic area and whomever happened to be on hand.

Now, with the advent of social media, every damned beer nerd you’d ever want to know is available anytime from anywhere.

If you’re interested in broadening your knowledge of craft suds or just looking to connect with other aficionados, check out this trio of mobile apps. Short of lending a comforting ear, they’re sure to make planning your next beer outing swifter and more fun.

Untappd Type: social Cost: free Platforms Available: iOS, Android, Windows Phone 8, BB10 I like to refer to this app as Facebook for beer drinkers. When it’s used properly, you’ll know what beers are in your area, your friends’ impressions of them and visuals of what they tried. The interface is very simple—rate brews on a one-to-five “beer cap” scale, choose your location and enter comments. The GPS function allows you to locate any watering hole any where on the globe, and find out what other folks are drinking in those places, in real time.

Overall Impression: This is the app that I use the most. I love the bar code scanner and the options available, plus it allows users to quickly detail every aspect of their experience. Feel free to “friend” me on this one (my username is UtahBeer).

Next Glass Type: locator, ratings Cost: free Platforms Available: iOS, Android This app pulls double duty, as it not only assists in searching for your favorite craft brew, but also provides a huge database for tracking down your favorite bottle of wine. The interface is simple, too: Just use your phone’s camera on the beverages’ bar code and voilà! You have the app’s user info to guide your purchases. It also analyzes each drink’s unique chemical makeup—including calorie count—to help you buy only the brews or wines you’ll love.

Overall Impression: The simple functions here make scanning and info gathering on the go a breeze, plus the chemistry feature really sets it apart.

BreweryMap Type: GPS, mapping Cost: $0.99 Platforms Available: iOS, Android

Whenever I hit the road, I need to know what my beer options will be in any given town, burb or hamlet that’s in my path. If you often find yourself asking, “Is there a brewpub on the way?” this one’s a must.

Simply key your Point A and Point B, and this handy app will give you the locations of every brewery, brewpub and beer bar in between.

Overall Impression: Its simplicity is only matched by its usefulness. It also offers info on your stop’s hours of operation and some beer menu options, to boot.

It’s an ever expanding beer world out there—so don’t get caught without your arsenal of nerdy tools. Cheers! CW

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Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom-and-pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves.

Mandarin

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Greek-American Gregory Skedros opened the doors to Mandarin in 1978, and it’s been one of Utah’s premier Chinese restaurants ever since.

The kitchen is bustling with chefs from Hong Kong and San Francisco, whose woks fire up some of the best fare you’ll find in town. The family-run eatery has sustained success in its Bountiful location with a combination of well-versed chefs, loyal customers and a menu that can’t be topped. 348 E. 900 North, Bountiful, 801-298-2406, mandarinutah.com

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Ruth’s Diner

This year marks the 87th anniversary of Ruth’s Diner, making it one of the state’s oldest restaurants. It just takes a quick drive up Emigration Canyon to arrive at the historic diner, where a sprawling outdoor patio surrounded by beautiful scenery awaits. During cooler months, take shelter indoors with a hot cup of joe and the famous Mile-High biscuits and gravy. Along with traditional breakfast options, be sure to try contemporary dishes such as Erik’s raspberry chicken, a lunch favorite. 4160 E. Emigration Canyon Road, Salt Lake City, 801-582-5807, ruthsdiner.com

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The early bird gets the worm. At The Park Café, they get a table. People line 1300 South daily just to get a seat at the homestyle breakfast and lunch joint. Grab a table inside or on the porch, and treat yourself to what just might be the tastiest breakfast potatoes in the history of spuds. There’s not a bad choice on the menu, but you can’t go wrong with the Odelay omelet (sausage, peppers, onions, mushrooms and cheddar cheese) or the fluffy and delectable banana pancakes. 604 E. 1300 South, Salt Lake City, 801-487-1670, theparkcafeslc.com

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The recently opened sister store of Park City’s Riverhorse on Main provides quick bites, beverages, grocery items, picnic lunches and even in-home chef services. The Mountain English muffin breakfast sandwich is high-quality, freshly baked and stuffed sky-high with soft, fluffy scrambled eggs with a layer of smoky artisan bacon on the bottom, topped with gooey Beehive Promontory cheddar. Other breakfast menu items include the quiche of the day, polenta French toast sticks, fresh buttermilk biscuits and gravy, strawberry fritters and steel-cut oats. There’s a downstairs café, as well as patio seating overlooking Main Street, where customers can enjoy their food and drink—including wine and beer—or take it to-go. The lunch menu includes sandwiches, wraps and burgers, as well as salads, soups and the house specialty: poutine, which comes in classic, veggie and Wild One with elk and buffalo, scallions, sweet peppers, sour cream, cheese curds and brown gravy.

For dessert, don’t miss the churro bowl with vanilla ice cream, caramel and chocolate sauce. They also sell a wide range of items such as artisan cheeses and meats, breads from Red Bicycle, deli items, imported pastas and sauces, olive oils and vinegars. Reviewed May 18. 221 Main, Park City, 435-649-0799, riverhorseprovisions.com

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MOVIE MARATHON

How I survived 10 consecutive hours of Transformers movies.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

J

Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf and Optimus Prime in Transformers.

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1:29 p.m.: An “objects in mirror are closer than they appear” gag, stolen from Jurassic Park. At least Bay steals from the best.

1:45 p.m.: I wonder if Transformers have to train to do that “tumble out of their car form into robot form” thing in Transformer school.

2:17 p.m.: The leaning-tower set piece in the middle of the Chicago grand finale is a great piece of action filmmaking. I wish Bay knew how to cut out all the crap surrounding his good material.

2:22 p.m.: In general, it feels like the role of military in these movies is to fly in, be generally ineffectual, then die except for the two guys we recognize.

2:25 p.m.: This climactic battle sequence has been going on since the Truman administration.

2:50 p.m.: Beginning 2014’s Age of Extinction. Shia LaBeouf has been replaced by Mark Wahlberg, and Hot Girl Who Is Not Megan Fox has been replaced by Hot Girl Who Is Not the Hot Girl Who Is Not Megan Fox. 3:40 p.m.: Jack Reynor appears as a guy who carries around an actual laminated card saying he can sleep with a 17-year-old in the state of Texas. That’s Michael Bay’s little civics lesson for you.

3:54 p.m.: Transformers are apparently made out of “Transformium,” which I’m guessing is on the periodic table right next to Avatar’s Unobtanium.

4:26 p.m.: The formula is definitely different in this one.

More damsel-in-distress-ing, no military presence, more practical-effects chases and stunt work. It’s weirder than I expected, yet just as bloated.

5:10 p.m.: Dino-Transformers! Because these movies weren’t already catering to enough interests of 12-year-old boys.

5:15 p.m.: This climactic battle sequence has been going on since the last actual age of extinction.

5:31 p.m.: Death no longer holds any sway over me, for I have spent 10 hours with Transformers. CW

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une 21 marks the Transformers: The Last Knight release, the fifth installment in director Michael Bay’s epic movie series based on the fact that, 30 years ago, somebody figured out that little boys really like robots and trucks, and would go apeshit over a truck that turned into a robot. The first four features clock in at an average length of 153 minutes—meaning it would take someone more than 10 hours to ingest them all in one sitting.

So that’s what I did. In an effort to understand what happens when the too-much-ness of these individual films becomes the way-too-much-ness of the whole saga, I settled in for a day-long marathon. The results of that experiment are chronicled here.

7:20 a.m.: Beginning with 2007’s Transformers, and my sanity intact.

7:21 a.m.: Peter Cullen—the voice of good-guy Autobot Optimus Prime—begins narrating the backstory about the importance of something called the Allspark. By the end of this series, I will wonder if they’re running out of words for “Very Important and Dangerous Thing That Drives the Plot.”

7:23 a.m.: U.S. soldier Lennox (Josh Duhamel) lets us know he “can’t wait to hold my baby girl for the first time,” cluing us in to the level of subtlety generally to be expected.

7:52 a.m.: Bumblebee, the car-that-is-actually-a-robot belonging to high-school nerd Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), begins communicating with Sam through song lyrics played on its radio. It’s a fun idea, and like every fun idea in these movies, Bay will proceed to repeat it so many times that you plead for the sweet release of death.

7:53 a.m.: Megan Fox plays a hot girl who is also good with cars, thereby making her extra-hot, I guess.

8:07 a.m.: A Transformer in the form of a sand scorpion attacks soldiers. The images of these things can be really cool, in non-lethal doses.

8:26 a.m.: A character makes a reference to something being “100 times cooler than Armageddon,” the first (but far from last) time Bay will attempt something resembling self-deprecation and still not understand that lack of “coolness” is not why people get irritated at his movies.

9:25 a.m.: The robots are still fighting in downtown Los Angeles. This climactic battle sequence has been going on for approximately 17 hours.

9:35 a.m.: “It’s you and me, Megatron!” “No, it’s just me, Prime!” People get paid to write these movies. Good money, I’m told.

9:47 a.m.: Beginning 2009’s Revenge of the Fallen. Peter Cullen’s voice is such a beautiful instrument. What a waste.

10:01 a.m.: Forget Megan Fox, the real romance in these movies is between Sam and Bumblebee. Camaros before hos?

10:30 a.m.: There are at least three different movies in these first two Transformers movies: teen sex comedy, military action and Rock’Em Sock’Em Robots monster fight.

11:01 a.m.: Attempts at comic relief—Sam’s mom stoned on pot brownies, robot leg-humping, robot oil-peeing—are not this series’ strong suit.

11:18 a.m.: Thank you for your service, Expositionbot.

11:53 a.m.: Run, Megan! Run in that tank top like your life depends on it!

Noon: “I am directly below the enemy’s scrotum,” exgovernment agent John Turturro says. Aren’t we all, John?

Aren’t we all?

12:03 p.m.: This climactic battle sequence has been going on for approximately three days.

12:28 p.m.: Beginning 2011’s Dark of the Moon. The prologue explaining how the 1969 Apollo moon landing was actually related to Transformers has been going on longer than I’ve been alive.

12:30 p.m.: Hot Girl Who Is Megan Fox has been replaced by Hot Girl Who Is Not Megan Fox. 1:02 p.m.: It’s funny when someone sees two guys in a bathroom stall together for inexplicable reasons, because gay panic is hilarious.

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CINEMA CLIPS NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change.

THE BAD BATCH BB.5 With her follow-up to A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, Ana Lily Amirpour again takes a familiar genre—the post-apocalyptic adventure—and shakes it up, giving a somber spin to such classics as Escape from New York and Mad Max. In the near future, “bad batch” prisoners are thrown in a fenced-off Texas desert to fend for themselves; there is no parole, and no release. So a certain hopelessness hangs over new inmate Arlen (Suki Waterhouse), whose tale is definitely not going to be about escape. The best situation is the makeshift town—overseen by “kindly” overlord Keanu Reeves—where the residents enact a parody of decent society. The worst is … infinitely worse. Matter-of-fact brutality and offhand compassion sit side by side, and no one here is all good or all bad, but most welcome is Amirpour’s determination not to sensationalize the violence or make this awful end of civilization look cool or alluring. There are problematic depictions of people of color, and the two-hour runtime is not justified. But while Amirpour might stumble a bit in her sophomore feature, she remains a talent to watch. Opens June 23 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—MaryAnn Johanson BAND AID BBB “What if we turned all our fights into songs?” Ben (Adam Pally) says to his wife Anna (Zoe Lister-Jones), in a line so high-concept it had to have been crafted for the eventual trailer. It’s a funny idea—a perpetually at-one-another’s-throats young couple, both fumbling through unsatisfying underemployment, trying to use art as auto-marriage counseling—and Lister-Jones (who also wrote and directed) gives the humor a satisfying kick, including the welcome weirdness of Fred Armisen as the band’s recovering sex-addict drummer, and a positively inspired sight gag involving a harmonica holder. The only real downside: Eventually, things get real, with Ben and Anna facing the root causes of their unhappiness, which leads to one of those scenes where they punch at the other’s most vulnerable points. It’s a bummer to see something that had been so frisky get so grim, all in the name of making the story feel like a serious observation about The Difficulties of Being a Young Married Person in 2017. Would it be such a bad thing just to have a movie about a bickering pair that airs tuneful

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dirty laundry at open mics? Opens June 23 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—Scott Renshaw BEATRIZ AT DINNER B.5 As a broad comedy of manners, it could have worked: New Age-y masseuse Beatriz (Salma Hayek) is stranded at the home of a wealthy client (Connie Britton) by a broken-down car, becoming the working-class fly in the ointment at a dinner party chock full of corporate high rollers, including a cutthroat real-estate tycoon (John Lithgow). For a while, it’s exactly that, even as the script

by Mike White (collaborating again with director Miguel Arteta) tosses up batting-practice pitches of insensitive, oblivious comments for our knowing chuckles (“Rich people—aren’t they the worst?”). It’s hard to emphasize enough, however, the tonal disaster of the final 15 minutes, as Beatriz’ shock at her dining companions’ attitudes manifests itself in various bizarre ways.

White’s brand of dark comedy has always been an acquired taste, but this bizarre mishmash of self-righteous satire and earnest pity for too-sensitive-for-this-world Beatriz ends up both painfully obvious and maddeningly opaque. If you want to feel good about yourself, though, for not being the kind of person who assumes every Latina woman you see is domestic help, here you go. Opens June 23 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—SR CITIZEN JANE: BATTLE FOR THE CITY [not yet reviewed] Documentary about battles over 1950s/1960s New York urban renewal between developer Robert Moses and activist Jane Jacobs. Opens June 23 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR) TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT [not yet reviewed] See feature on p. 27. Opens June 21 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS BEDKNOBS & BROOMSTICKS At Park City Library, June 22, 7 p.m. (G) NO MAN’S LAND At Main Library, June 28, 7 p.m. (NR)

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW At Tower Theatre, June 23-24, 11 p.m.; June 25, noon. (R) SUSPICION At Main Library, June 28, 2 p.m. (NR) SWEENEY TODD; SE7EN At Brewvies, June 22, 7:30 p.m. (R)

CURRENT RELEASES

ALL EYEZ ON ME BB It’s a shame that a person as talented, complicated and fascinating as Tupac Shakur is given such a by-the-numbers biopic.

The story begins as Shakur is doing time for a sexual-abuse conviction, then moves back and forth from his childhood with his mother and stepfather (a fine, underused Jamie Hector), to his rise to fame, to his death in Las Vegas. Demetrius Shipp Jr. is good as Shakur (though he could have amped up the intensity at times), but Benny Boom’s slack direction makes one wish for Anton Fuqua, John Singleton or Carl Franklin, who were all associated with the project at one time or another. Even at 140 minutes, the screenplay is too skimpy on the nitty gritty. In an effort to make an appealing movie, the filmmakers made Shakur boring, and he was anything but that. (R)—David Riedel

CARS 3 B.5 Cars 2 erred in making Mater the tow truck the main character and emphasizing tired espionage capering over jokes; Cars 3 replaces those mistakes with different ones. The accursed Mater is hardly around at all in this existential drama about aging racer Lightning McQueen’s (Owen Wilson) career being threatened by a faster rookie (Armie Hammer), so he reluctantly teams up with a perky trainer (Cristela Alonzo) to get back to basics and confront mortality. Whee! Vrooom! The Toy Story trilogy got pretty grim, too, but it also included humor and established a convincing reality for its characters. Cars 3 is nearly devoid of comedy, follows no internal logic and, apart from a fun sequence at a demolition derby, isn’t much to look at. This isn’t for kids; it’s for NASCAR-loving adults who enjoy generic stories when they involve talking cars.

(G)—Eric D. Snider

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to the Chrisley Knows Best idiocracy. This could be your last chance to see a genuinely funny and sweet comedy that deserves a shot somewhere else. TV Land? Hulu?

Netflix? Ugh … Crackle? Step up.

Like Into the Badlands, Preacher (Season 2 premiere, Sunday, June 25, AMC) is an American Movie Classics (’member those cable days?) gem that just doesn’t get the buzz it deserves—the same could be said of Halt and Catch Fire and Humans, but they’re pretty much goners at this point.

Preacher, on the other hand, is poised to blow up—in every sense—in its expanded second season, a wild ride that sees preacher Jesse (Dominic Cooper), badass Tulip (Ruth Negga) and vampire Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) hitting the highway in search of an absentee God, as ordained in the original Vertigo comic, only to find more trouble/ violence/black comedy in New Orleans.

Preacher: It’s hell-arious (quote me, AMC).

Why networks continue to produce reality shows wherein horny fuckwits are herded together in front of cameras 24/7 and fed gallons of alcohol is beyond me—did we learn nothing from Rape Island—I mean, Bachelor in Paradise? Anyway: Summer staple Big Brother (Season 19 premiere, Wednesday, June 28, CBS) introduces a new gaggle of vile stereotypes for your viewing … pleasure? … and tacks on the subtitle Over the Top because, who knows/cares?

I also didn’t understand why a seemingly classy lady like Julie Chen continues to host this Axe-soaked cockfight year after year, but then remembered that she’s a former homewrecker mistress now married to the president of CBS. Makes total sense.

When it debuted in 2015, Younger (Season 4 premiere, Wednesday, June 28, TV Land) didn’t seem like a series with legs— unless you count star Sutton Foster’s, a fantastic set of stems that, as they say, go all the way to the ground. Forty-something Liza (Foster) posing as a 20-something to land a job in the cutthroat millennial world of book publishing was a cute idea, but how long could she keep the secret? Three seasons, apparently; she finally revealed the truth to her co-worker BFF Kelsey (Hilary Duff), causing a shitstorm that will allow Younger to lean more heavily than ever on the drama side of dramedy. Meanwhile, I still want a spinoff series about power hipster Lauren (Molly Bernard). CW

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I

f you think adapting Stephen King’s The Mist (series debut, Thursday, June 22, Spike) is a bad idea, consider this: ABC is launching a reboot of The Gong Show and a boy-band reality-competition show tonight to compete with the summer filler stinking up Fox and NBC—there’s nothin’ else on. King’s Under the Dome, which was the same story of a small town isolated by a supernatural event, ran for three whole seasons on CBS, one of which didn’t suck; The Mist doesn’t have the luxury of known actors, just a crew of nobodies with zero lead-in assist from Lip Sync Battle, the only thing anyone ever watches on Spike besides Bar Rescue and off-brand MMA. But, as I said, there’s nothin’ else on.

Alison Brie has had memorable supporting roles on Community and Mad, but GLOW (series debut, Friday, June 23, Netflix) is her show, all the way. In GLOW, she plays Ruth Wilder, an unemployed actress in ’80s Los Angeles who’s desperate enough to try anything that isn’t porn—even a lowbudget/high-cheese all-female pro-wrestling TV show being launched by a failed film producer (Marc Maron), Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (which was a real thing).

Like a lighter Orange Is the New Black (Jenji Kohan is a producer here, and wrote one episode), GLOW is a tale of very different women bonding in a “man’s” world that does surprisingly emotional heavy lifting when it needs to. All this, and some of the worst ’80s fashions ev-er. Wooo!

The last of Playing House (Season 3 premiere, Friday, June 23, USA)? Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parham’s cozy comedy about almost-uncomfortably close girlfriends and a new baby has barely survived to see a third season on USA, a cable net that’s concentrating more on gritty hourlong dramas after failing to launch a string of smart half-hour comedies. Since USA is blowing out new episodes back-to-back on Friday nights, it’s obvious they’re done with the show because it doesn’t appeal

GLOW (Netflix)

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Just Another Phallic Wednesday

On its third shot, nightlife rager is out to give ‘food porn’ a new meaning.

BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

“T

hey’ve got bags of dicks, here,” Jordan Fairbanks says, eyeing various packages of seasoned, buttered corncobs as we roam Whole Foods in search of edibles that resemble turgid male genitals.

Fairbanks is the deliciously demented mind behind the semiannual music and epicurean experience called the Phallic Food Party. That’s why we’re here and he’s dressed as a banana. Strangely, few shoppers seem to notice the big fruit and his interrogator discussing the dongish traits of the food they’re buying to feed their families. For the better part of an hour, we browse largely undisturbed, aside from a wisecracking petite hottie and the parents who try to get their toddlers to say hello to the 6-foot-tall Chiquita-Gorgon towering over them.

It’s good they didn’t ask, ’cause, what would you say? “We’re just lookin’ for food that looks like … uh … uh … Did you know a banana a day keeps the pedophiles away?” We just smile and wave.

The seed of the Phallic Food Party is fairly self-explanatory, if you think about it: Pretty much the whole world is fascinated with the penis. Heterosexual and bisexual women, gay men and even straight dudes—as much as some might protest—have an appreciation for, intimate knowledge of, and relationship with, at least one knob. Don’t forget these meaty, perpetually phlegmy, cyclopean tubes fired the shot that started all of our lives. So why not throw ’em a party? Celebrating dicks is celebrating life.

But Fairbanks, drummer of local two-man noise-rock treasure Baby Gurl, just wanted to put on a good show. His buddies in the Portland speed-punk band Gaytheist were headed to Salt Lake City, and Fairbanks, a part-time promoter, was looking for a way to make the gig stand out.

“My buddy Batty, who was in Wulf Blitzer, said he liked to do themed concerts,” Fairbanks says, approaching a display of fresh, unshucked corn. “I said, ‘Why don’t we make it penis-themed, since it’s Gaytheist?’” Batty suggested serving schlong-shaped foods at the show, and such was the rise of the Phallic Food Party.

Fairbanks says people were already excited about Gaytheist’s return to SLC, but the Phallic Food Party “upped the ante.” When

RANDY HARWARD

PARTY PREVIEW

Sausage party: Jordan Fairbanks poses alongside some juicy meats. the Facebook event page launched, their newsfeed came alive with fans posting pictures of celebrities eating phallic foods. On the night of the event, partygoers—metalheads, drag queens, curious types—showed up carrying eggplants and squash. Fairbanks served hot dogs and bananas. “You make a dick joke, and people pay attention,” he says. “People thought it was hilarious.”

It was such a success that Fairbanks held PFP II in November. “It just kind of happened,” he says. The phallic food theme was slightly upstaged by the headlining act, a reunion of storied “sexgrab” foursome Heathen Ass Worship. The phall-acious content was there, however, with opening acts SCROmance and Zombiecock— and the first appearance of Fairban-ana. “I was trying to get more people to come in costume,” he says.

For PFP III, Fairbanks plans to bring back the food. That’s not necessarily why we’re at the grocery store. Like the show, this is just fun. In the meat department, Fairbanks stops to assess the various sausages, assigning them ages based on their appearance.

He says the Thai curry chicken link is the most aesthetically pleasing, like the tool of a 25-year-old. “The others look like grandpa dicks … but I’m sure they’re delicious.”

We discover and fondle more phalluses in the marketplace wonderland: a sad, bumpy gherkin; a firm, crusty baguette; kittyterrifying cucumbers; a freakish butternut squash. And, of course, all types of bananas—fragrant and overripe minis, bright yellow bunches and even frozen chocolate-covered treats. “This interview is brought to you by Diana’s Banana Babies,” Fairbanks deadpans, reading from the box. “‘The world’s best chocolate-dipped frozen treat.

Real banana! Healthy! Zero trans fat.’ These monkeys are in diapers.”

Costumes are encouraged at PFP III and, of course, there’s music. Gaytheist, who were quite pleased with the concept, returns to headline over Baby Gurl and beer metal quartet Breaux. Expect more hot dogs because, Fairbanks says, the 70 he brought for the first party were quickly gobbled up. Is juggling that much meat complicated, considering dogs and buns come in conflicting quantities? He says that misses the PFP’s one-eyed point entirely: “I’m more worried about the dogs than the buns.” CW

PHALLIC FOOD PARTY FEAT. GAYTHEIST, BABY GURL, BREAUX

Wednesday, June 28, 8 p.m. (doors) Metro Music Hall 615 W. 100 South

RANDY'S RECORD SHOP VINYL RECORDS NEW & USED CD’s, 45’s, Cassettes, Turntables & Speakers

Cash Paid for Resellable Vinyl, CD’s & Stereo Equipment “UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

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New Expanded Hours for Rye: Monday-Friday from 9am-2pm Saturday and Sunday from 9am-3pm Friday and Sunday from 6pm-11pm

Free ticket Tuesday at Rye! 1 entree = 1 ticket at Urban Lounge (while supplies last) www.ryeslc.com

JUN 22: RUNNIN’ ON EMCEES TOUR 8PM DOORS NAMEK THA YNOE BONNIE BLUE RUGGED METHOD IVIE

JUN 23: FREE KITTENS COMEDY 6PM DOORS FREE EARLY SHOW

ANDY FARNSWORTH AARON WOODALL TOY SOUP

JUN 23: COWBOYS & PIRATES PARTY 9PM DOORS

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JUN 25: REEVE CARNEY 8PM DOORS

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JUN 26: LIVING BODY 8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

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DURIAN DURIAN ECHOLALIA JAZZ JAGUARS

JUN 29: SLUG LOCALIZED 8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

CIVIL LUST PRIMITIVE PROGRAMME DJ CESAR REYES

COMING SOON Jun 30: Metalachi Jul 01: The Velvet Underground Tribute

Jul 03: Guitar Wolf Jul 05: Jacuzzi Boys Jul 06: Crook & The Bluff

My Summer Playlist

Locally sourced tunes that capture the sentiments and sounds of the season.

BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

H

ey, reader—off the top of your head, what are some songs tied to your most memorable summer moments?

How many are feel-good hits? That’s what’s irritating about discussing so-called “summer songs.” The season’s not all Slip’N Slides, cotton candy and cookouts. Sure, it’s ripe with promise, but it has emotional peaks and valleys like any other time of year. It’s just hotter. The days and nights seem longer, but the months pass quickly. Expectations are higher. So the combination of heat, time distortion and the roller coaster drama of watching your hopes and dreams play out provide a much more expansive emotional range than images of shiny, happy people putting sunblock on each other. A “Song of the Summer” is any tune that feels right for your here-and-now.

QUIET OAKS

“Evil” from Pretty Alright

Since my introduction to Quiet Oaks—via their old band, which we won’t name ’cause it’s about time for that to become the past—came on a hot August day, all of Dane Sandberg’s songs sound summery to me. In this one, manic, charging verses slow to a mid-tempo chorus where he spreads his arms, announcing he’s “lookin’ for evil” and “freedom.”

That’s how every summer starts: with the urge to raise hell and sow wild oats. quietoaks.bandcamp.com

MICHELLE MOONSHINE

“Make You Mine” from Hell Bent EP

You ever had a summer day where you’re alone, with nothing to do but sit and wish for the company of someone in particular, wondering about their whereabouts and thinking about how you’d like to share everything—even that nothing—with them? You try to break it up by spending couch-cushion change on a tallboy that just makes you more lonely and pensive until it’s bedtime and you can’t sleep. This lonesome country song condenses that day and night into a commiserative three minutes and 40 seconds. michellemoonshine.bandcamp.com

NEW SHACK

“1979” from Eingang

This Smashing Pumpkins cover is about fond childhood memories where summer days meant not contemplating our mortality, just the pleasure of the moment. In this slow, meditative synthpop context, New Shack harnesses even more of the reflective, daydreamy quality of the original, conjuring watery, soft-focus snapshots of those days, where time was marked by the slow tick of sprinklers. newshack.bandcamp.com

COLOR ANIMAL

“Watermelon” from Bubble Gum

Huge, juicy hunks of watermelon—don’t you sometimes, sitting at a backyard cookout, swear you could take down a whole one? And do you remember the urban legends your friends and cousins would parrot about how swallowing the seeds would cause one of the gigantic fruits to grow in your belly? That’s what this reverb dream makes me think about. ’Cause it sounds like Andrew Shaw singing, “Can’t eat all the watermelon.” (I don’t wanna know if that’s wrong.) coloranimalrocks.bandcamp.com

MUSIC

FOSSIL ARMS

“Petals”

Summer nights are as full of promise as the sunny days—they’re just darker. The instrumental first 90 seconds of this synth-punk jam hit somewhere between New Order’s “Thieves Like Us” and the Drive soundtrack.

It sounds like that moment when you slide into the shotgun seat of your best friend’s car, strap in and speed off into the darkness in search of love or at least lost virtue—and, failing that, a garden-variety good time.

(Don’t listen to the lyrics; they’re more like the unpleasant throb of the morning after.) fossilarmsnoise.bandcamp.com

HECTIC HOBO

“Good Dog” from Died on the Fourth of July

Dogs, being man’s best friends, are natural inclusions in our summer activ ities—but that’s not what this track is about. Here, Hectic Hobo’s “wildwest g y psy rock ” strays into pre-“Sexy Eyes” Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show territory, where “dogs” are inveterate horny party hounds: “Champagne and cocaine/ you can’t keep a good dog down.” And we can all relate to bein’ all hot and bothered on a profusely humid July night and gettin’ into trouble. God bless summer. hectichobo.bandcamp.com CW

Now Enjoy Full Menu Til Midnight Mon. - Thur. ‘Appy Hour’ 2-6pm Saturday Brunch 11-3 Sunday Brunch 10-3 Monday Jazz Sessions 7pm w/ David Halliday & the JVQ

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THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

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BY RANDY HARWARD

FRIDAY 6/23

Vans Warped Tour feat. The Dickies, CKY, GWAR, The Adolescents, Alestorm

The Vans Warped Tour probably looked greasy to certain old-school punk rockers back in 1995, but there’s no disputing what it did for punk rock. Not to mention

Coin hip-hop, country, rockabilly, ska, surf rock, reggae, alternative rock and metal, when it diversified in its first decade. You used to see lineups that included tons of real punk acts like T.S.O.L, Fear, Bad Religion, Social Distortion and NOFX, but also Ice-T, The Specials, Jurassic 5, Beck, Kool Keith—I could go on. The point is, Warped had a focus but also expanded the horizons of its audience. Then the MySpace emo/screamo scene happened, somebody smelled money and the variety faded. In recent years, someone realized that there’s nostalgia scratch to be had, and they’ve started bringing some of those “classic” bands back to the main tour. This year, that means O.G. punks like The Dickies, along with prog-punks CKY and ultra-shock rock group GWAR—ironically, the victims of God’s greatest decapitation strike, when frontbeast Dave Brockie died in 2014. Here’s hoping Warped warps full-circle back to its old self. Utah State Fair Park, 155 N. 1000 West, 11 a.m., $29$35 presale, $50 day of show, all ages, smithstix.com

The Dickies

LIVE MUSIC

KARAOKE (THURS) LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS

DART SUPPLIES 3425 S. State St. Suite D 385-528-2547 Mon-Thurs: 11am-11pm Fri & Sat: 11am-1am Sun: 11am-10pm

JUNE 22, 2017 | 33

ILLAZILLA VIA WIKIMEDIA

PAINT NIGHT (THURS & SAT)

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Grits Green

SATURDAY 6/24

LINDSAY PHILLIPS SPENCER

Grits Green, Earthworm

Rha’gene Beal, frontdude of Ogden hiphop group Grits Green, says the band has done “a lot of growing up” since releasing their debut album, Imagination in Motion some three years ago. It’s not surprising, then, that they characterize the songs on their new EP, Water (gritsgreen. com), as deep cuts that cut deep, “just referring to the groove,” Beal says, since they’re newer tunes that reflect how the band’s sound has evolved since 2014’s Imagination in Motion. Beal’s and Porter

Dalton’s bars remain clever, humorous and often profound, and the group is tighter than ever, providing tight curls for the emcees’ respective flows. “We’ve implemented more elements of our stage show,” Beal says, adding that they’ll be joined by a horn section at their release party this Friday. Produced by bassist Greg Shaw with Mike Sasich at Man vs.

Music, it sounds clean—every bit as good as Motion, which was produced by Dave Aron (Sublime, Snoop Dogg, Prince)—and fresh, like a band just surfacing from a baptism. Lighthouse Lounge, 130 25th St., Ogden, Friday, 8:30 p.m., $5, lighthouseogden.com; Utah Arts Festival (Amphitheater Stage), Library Square, 200 E. 400 South, Saturday, 8:20 p.m., $6-$35, uaf.org

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

FRIDAY AND SATURDAY 6/23-24

ZACHARY GRAY

Coin, Arizona

On their second album, How Will You Know If You Never Try? (Columbia), Nashville indie pop band Coin sounds squeaky clean and produced—which is what they’re goin’ for, so that’s fine. They’re splittin’ the difference between retro-’80s pop of bands like the relentlessly fun Walk the Moon and the breathless, vanilla Coldplay.

It’s surprisingly palatable, netting out to something fun but not entirely mindless.

New Jersey trio Arizona is of a similar bent, but with Tyler Glenn-style pop sensibilities, so their debut album Gallery (Atlantic) sounds a bit slicker. Since they’d chalked up more than 9 million unique listeners on Spotify before the record even hit shelves, one wonders what the new high score will be once the summer is over. The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $17.50-$19.50, all ages, thecomplexslc.com

4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

Visigoth

LIVE Music thursday, june 22

TONY HOLIDAY ACOUSTIC DUO

friday, june 23

LOS HELL CAMINOS saturday, june 24

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Weeknights monday

OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

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34 | JUNE 22, 2017

PAUL BLACK

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tuesday

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wednesday

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SATURDAY 6/24

Visigoth, Eternal Champion, Deathblow

How cool is it to have a local band representing on the venerable Metal Blade Records label? Well, if they sucked, it wouldn’t be that great. But Jake Rogers and crew’s epic power metal is … epic. So, too, is the “pre-Christian epic fantasy metal” of Eternal Champion out of Austin, Texas. The Armor of Ire (eternalchampion.bandcamp.com) derives thematically from Michael Moorcock’s high fantasy series—and the songs, rife with tales of heroism and trebly riffs, sound the way that a Frank Frazetta Heavy Metal magazine cover looks: surreal, but like they could suck you into battle at any moment. Local openers Deathblow loom large in a different way, calling back to the ’80s heyday of thrash, but making their brand chunkier and meaner. Makes you wonder if there’s a Metal Blade deal in their own future. Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 8 p.m., free, 21+, metromusichall.com

www.theroyalslc.com

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CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu

KARAOKE & pick-a-prize bingo

wednesday 6/21

karaoke @ 9:00 i bingo @ 9:30, 10:30, 11:30 Thursday 6/22

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jj thames makisi amfs & long islands 1/2 off nachos & Free pool

Live Music

friDAY 6/23

casey newton's metal night presents

riksha cd release with adjacent to nothing raze the pyre i dipped in whiskey saturday 6/24

SUNDAY 6/25 Zapp

Old-school funk of the late ’70s and early- to mid-’80s is perfect for any time of day (listen to The Gap Band’s “Early in the Morning”), any season (see if Lakeside’s “Fantastic Voyage” doesn’t perk up a gloomy winter day), any setting (nothing sets off a funeral like the Dazz Band’s “Joystick”). It’s just irresistible fun—a reminder of when popular music wasn’t so focus-grouped and commodified. It was just about a good time, and that’s it. Zapp, perhaps better known as Zapp & Roger, is a band of Troutman brothers from Cincinnati. Due to an association with George “Dr. Funkenstein” Clinton, they initially sounded like an almost “Son of P-Funk” deal on tracks like “More Bounce to the Ounce.”

On their second album, they moved toward a heavier electronic influence, with more of Roger Troutman’s talkbox, which became their signature on songs like “So Ruff, So Tuff” and “Computer Love.” Sadly, Roger was gunned down in 1999 by brother Larry in a business-related murder-suicide. Now led

by Lester and Terry Troutman, Zapp proves it can still give fans a charge. Liquid Joe’s, 1249 E. 3300 South, noon, $25 presale, $30 day of show, all ages, liquidjoes.net

'90'S GRUNGE PARTY Tuesday 6/27

open mic night

YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM

wednesday 6/28

adrenaline mob

w/ the wild i hooga outside of society Coming soon 7/2

metal night

product of hate ikillya 7/21

hemlock

w/ october rage poonhammer i lhaw ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

TUESDAY 6/27

CONCERTS & CLUBS

JASON POWELL

THURSDAY 6/22

FRIDAY 6/23

LIVE MUSIC

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All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Brisk (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy and Jules (Tavernacle)

SPIRITS • FOOD • GOOD COMPANY 6.22 6.23 6.24 6.26

MORGAN SNOW SON OF IAN THE POUR OPEN BLUES JAM HOSTED BY ROBBY’S BLUES EXPLOSION

6.28 6.29 6.30 7.1

JOHN DAVIS MICHELLE MOONSHINE YOU TOPPLE OVER SUPERBUBBLE

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

JUNE 22, 2017 | 35

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90)

*MISTED AND SHADED

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DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

period.

DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dueling Pianos: Drew & JD (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Jazz Joint Thursday (Garage on Beck) The New Wave (’80s Night) (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Candyland (Sky)

best. damn. Patio.

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DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Après Ski (The Cabin) The Bachauer Piano Festival (Rose Wagner Center) Casey Newton’s Metal Night feat.

Adjacent to Nothing + Raze the Pyre + Dipped in Channel Z (Club 90) Coin + Arizona (The Complex) see p. 33 Cowboys and Pirates Party + Flash & Flare + Heaps N Heaps (Urban Lounge) Dance Evolution (Metro Music Hall) Grits Green (EP Release) + Earthworm (Lighthouse Lounge) Jordan Matthew Young Band (The Spur) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) Lynch Mob + Reloaded (Liquid Joe’s) Marc Cohn (Egyptian Theatre) Sage Junction (Outlaw Saloon) The Solarists & Cephas + Dallin Hunt (Velour) Spindrift + BYSTS (Garage on Beck) Tin Foil Top Hat and Particlehead (The Ice Haüs) Treehouse Sanctum (O.P. Rockwell) Two Piece (Funk ‘n’ Dive) Utah Arts Festival, feat. Dexter Allen + Samba Fogo + Niki J. Crawford + Jarekus Singleton + more (Library Square) Whiskey (The Royal)

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Adult Mom + Free Cake for Every Creature + Kambree (Kilby Court) The Bachauer Piano Festival (Rose Wagner Center) Candy Land (Sky) H2O + Fail to Follow (The Complex) Light Up the Sky + Youth in Revolt + Vesta Collide + I’mAlive (The Loading Dock) Marc Cohn (Egyptian Theatre) Niki J. Crawford (Newpark Town Center) Reggae Thursday (The Royal) Reptaliens + Noble Pest + Cat Ghost (Metro Music Hall) Runnin Up on Emcees Tour 2017 feat.

Tha Ynoe + Bonnie Blue + Rugged Method + IVIE (Urban Lounge) The Shins + Pure Bathing Culture (Ogden City Amphitheater) Tropicana Night feat. Rumba Libre Band (Liquid Joe’s) Utah Arts Festival, feat. Shooter Jennings & Waymore’s Outlaws + The Saliva Sisters (Library Square)

REO Speedwagon, Styx, Don Felder

REO Speedwagon is the dark horse of classic rock bands. Although they ruled FM radio from the early ’70s through the early ’90s, their name comes up far less frequently than, say, those of Journey, Boston and their co-headliners, Styx. And yet, if you go see them on Tuesday, you’ll know every song from early corkers like “Ridin’ the Storm Out” through power-anthems such as “Keep On Loving You” and ballads like “Can’t Fight This Feeling.” As for Styx, they’re just as good today as when they were huge— better, actually, with their current lineup. The only thing you’ll miss are the songs “Babe” and “Mr. Roboto.” That’s a lot to miss, you might say, but it’s understandable that current singer/keyboardist Lawrence Gowan wouldn’t wanna sing a song about former vocalist Dennis DeYoung’s wife. (But, where’s “Moonlight Desires,” Larry?)

And with DeYoung being an alleged douchebag, you can’t blame Styx for dropping his awesome—but gimmicky—other trademark song from their set. Finally, Don Felder.

He’s the dark horse of the Eagles. He contributed way more to the band than Don Henley or the late Glenn Frey want to admit. But he’s out playing almost exclusively Eagles tunes, including a fairly decent version of “Hotel California” that sometimes features members of Styx. He even whips out “Heavy Metal (Takin’ a Ride)” from the cult animated film Heavy Metal. For fans of the trippy flick, that’s an even bigger treat than all three acts’ hits combined. (Randy Harward) Usana Amphitheatre, 5150 S. Upper Ridge Road (6055 West), 7 p.m., $27.50-$99.50, all ages, usana-amp.com

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36 | JUNE 22, 2017

RANDY HARWARD

BAR FLY MONDAYS Cheap Chicken for Chicks at Trolley Wing Co.

The Trolley Wing Co. is a weird place for a ladies’ night, which typically entails admitting women for free, thereby attracting men to buy them drinks. But TWC is, after all, a restaurant and sports bar—only there’s no dance floor; just a bar, some tables and big TVs, plus their “one-of-a-kind” twice-baked wings and beer, both of which are discounted for ladies on Monday nights. Alas, there’s a 3:1 ratio of dudes who hoot and holler at the wall-mounted flat-screens on the night of my visit. I’m already paired up, so that’s good. Even if the place was wall-to-wall with eligible beauties, it can’t be easy to pick someone up while wearing a Joker-ly raspberry-chipotle rictus. Or with a roiling gut, since server Paige Jackson informs us that TWC’s sauces run hot. But, wow, they’re good. And ladies don’t need men to enjoy wings. Maybe that’s the appeal of this particular ladies’ night: a well-deserved break from the chase, a chance to eat and drink as much as you want without caring what you look like. When Jackson says that ladies’ night usually revolves around watching The Bachelorette, this seems the more likely case. Alas, the show is between seasons, hence the TVs’ current tuning. The discounts—$8 wings and $5.50 steins—however, remain active, and ladies-only. Good thing I brought one. Hopefully she’ll play nurse when we get home, ’cause that enema sauce is so serious it comes with a release form. (RH) Trolley Wing Co., 2148 S. 900 East, Ste. 5, 5 p.m.-1 a.m., 21+, trolleywingco.com

Sign your life away—perhaps literally—at TWC’s ladies’ night.

Friday Night Fun (All-Request Dance) w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise (The Red Door)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Cheers to You SLC) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

SATURDAY 6/24 LIVE MUSIC

A-Mac & the Height (The Lighthouse Lounge) The Bachauer Piano Festival (Rose Wagner Center) Black Market III (Garage on Beck) Channel Z (Club 90) Crimson Calamity (Ogden City Amphitheater) Day Wave + Blonder (Urban Lounge) Early Successional (Feldman’s Deli) Jamestown Revival + Badfeather (Canyons Village Stage) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Little Black Dress (The Moose Lounge) Marc Cohn (Egyptian Theatre) Michelle Moonshine (The Ice Haüs) see p. 32 Millennial Choirs and Orchestras (Tabernacle) Murphy & the Giant + Olde Time Mischief (A Bar Named Sue on State) Nate Robinson Duo (PayDay Pad) The Pour (Hog Wallow Pub)

Rage Against the Supremes (The Spur) The Rhythm Combo (Piper Down Pub) Rick Gerber & the Nightcaps (Johnny’s on Second) Sage Junction (Outlaw Saloon) (Sandy) Alex G + Japanese Breakfast + Cende (Kilby Court) Shockwave feat. Adair + Algo + Dack Janiels + Dodge & Fuski + Dr. Ozi + Stabby (In the Venue) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Utah Arts Festival, feat. Fruition + RJD2 + Mitch Barrett Trio + Grits Green + more (Library Square) see p. 33 Vans Warped Tour, feat. The Dickies + CKY + The Adolescents + GWAR + Bad Cop/Bad Cop + more (Utah State Fairgrounds) see p. 33 Visigoth + Eternal Champion + Deathblow (Metro Music Hall) see p. 34

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ B-RAD (Club 90)

SUNDAY 6/25 LIVE MUSIC

Abrams + Wulf Blitzer + Barlow (Club X)

Indian Style Tapas

From the Creators of The Himalayan Kitchen Next to Himalayan Kitchen

The

Chakra Lounge and Bar

Blues, Brews and BBQ feat. Flobots + Dirty Revival + Pinetop Inferno (Snowbasin Ski Resort) Dirty Revival (Snowbasin Ski Resort) Jason Eady (Kilby Court) Reeve Carney + Nick Passey + Branson Anderson (Urban Lounge) Strawberry Girls (The Loading Dock) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Utah Arts Festival, feat. The Pedrito Martinez Group + Bachauer Medalists + more (Library Square) Zapp (Liquid Joe’s) see p. 34

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar and Grill) DJ Curtis Strange (Willie’s Lounge) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Red Cup Event w/ DJ Juggy (Downstairs)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke Church w/ DJ Ducky (Club Jam)

MONDAY 6/26 LIVE MUSIC

Living Body + Alexander Ortega + Soft Limbs + Muzzle Tung (Urban Lounge) Taylor Kropp (The Spur)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Open Blues Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub) Open Mic (The Cabin)

KARAOKE

Weekend Music

Friday 6/23 - DJ Curtis Strange Saturday 6/24 - DJ Nix Beat

ChakraLounge.net 364 S State St. Salt Lake City Open 5 - 1am Mon-Thurs • 10am - 1am Fri-Sun Offering full bar, with innovative elixers, late night menu & weekend brunch

Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) Karaoke Bingo (Tavernacle) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

TUESDAY 6/27 LIVE MUSIC

Ann Wilson of Heart (Sandy Amphitheatre) The Brevet + Folk Hogan + Michelle

Moonshine + Harold Henry (Club X) Plastic Pinks + Phat Jester (Urban Lounge) Reo Speedwagon + Styx + Don Felder (USANA Amphitheatre) see p. 35 Russ (The Great Saltair) Seasons After + Bridge to Grace (Liquid Joe’s) Scott Foster + Blue Divide (The Spur) Stitched Up Heart + Hell or Highwater + Riddled With + Late Night Savior (Metro Music Hall)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Cabin Fever & Miss DJ Lux (The Cabin) Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke w/ Zim Zam Ent. (Club 90)

WEDNESDAY 6/28 LIVE MUSIC

Adrenaline Mob + The Wild + Hooga + Outside of Society (The Royal) Equinox (Deer Valley) Garrett Lebeau (Garage on Beck) Hoofless + Echolalia + Durian Durian + Jazz Jaguars (Urban Lounge) The Jeffrey James Show (O.P. Rockwell) Jelly Roll + Doobie + K.A.O.T.I.C + Nevaeh (In the Venue) Live Jazz (Club 90) Pig Eon (Twist) Santana (Red Butte Garden) Third Annual Phallic Food Party feat.

Gaytheist + Baby Gurl + Breaux (Metro Music Hall) see p. 30 Tony Oros (The Spur)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE DJ BIRDMAN (TWIST)

Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Open Mic (Sugar House Coffee) Open Mic (Velour) Temple (Gothic and Industrial) w/ DJ Mistress Nancy (Area 51)

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

© 2017

CLIP-ON

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

Last week’s answers

| CITY WEEKLY |

JUNE 22, 2017 | 37

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

KLY

WEE @SLC

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

S ON U W FOLLO GRAM A T S IN

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

1. Overzealous 2. Nontext part of a text 3. “A room without ____ is like a body without a soul”: Cicero 4. Tree with “helicopter seeds” 5. Lei Day greetings 6. Approach evening 7. R&B singer McKnight 8. Suffix with Gator or Power

47. “The Constant Gardener” heroine 48. Chris of “Jurassic World” 49. Macpherson and Fanning 50. Dark films, informally 51. One way to be divided 52. “Just ____ my job” 53. Scale-busting 58. Ernst & Young employee 59. Affirmative action

SUDOKU

DOWN

9. Hit AMC series that ended with a Coca-Cola ad 10. Native of Alaska 11. “It’s ____ cause” 12. “The ____ think about it ...”

13. Keep in the attic, maybe 18. “Is this insane, ____?!”

22. Early calculators 25. Came to 26. MasterCard rival 28. It’s south of Eur. 29. Padre’s hermano 30. B&O and Pennsylvania: Abbr.

31. “____: The Jungle Girl” (“The Crocodile Hunter” spinoff) 32. The year 1501 33. Sicilian volcano 34. Illuminated 35. Caribbean, e.g.

36. Parapsychologist’s study 38. Unc’s wife 39. Throw in the direction of 43. “Hear! Hear!”

44. “That’s enough!”

45. Actress Anne 46. NBA great who starred in “Kazaam”

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

1. Country’s McEntire 5. Actress Jessica 9. Sirs’ counterparts 14. Tori who sang “Cornflake Girl” 15. Pie crust ingredient, maybe 16. Divvy up 17. Let it be known you’re not happy with a performance of the 1994 hit “Let Her Cry”?

19. Golden, in Guadalajara 20. Alphabet trio 21. Perlman of “Cheers” 22. Jester, e.g.

23. Talk smack about 24. Desire a poster depicting 1950s pinup queen Page?

26. Pre-DVD format 27. Sickly-looking 28. Skylit lobbies 31. College QB, often 33. “Nothing ____ will do” 37. Newborn animals that are trained in CPR? 40. Parks in 1955 news 41. Together, in France 42. Like beer that’s not in a bottle 43. Neither blue nor red?: Abbr.

44. Org. that tracks baby name popularity 45. People psychiatrists might not want to work with for fear of becoming attracted to them?

51. “____ believe ...”

54. Cabinet department since 1977 55. Booty 56. Head, in slang 57. Chávez or Romero 58. Men’s fashion shortcut ... or a feature of 17-, 24-, 37- and 45-Across 60. Proverbial waste maker 61. Gilpin of “Frasier” 62. Has 63. Send over the moon 64. Helper: Abbr.

65. Old Venetian official

| COMMUNITY | | CITYWEEKLY.NET |

38 | JUNE 22, 2017

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CANCER (June 21-July 22) Now that you’ve mostly paid off one of your debts to the past, you can go window-shopping for the future’s best offers. You’re finally ready to leave behind a power spot you’ve outgrown and launch your quest to discover fresh ones. So bid farewell to lost causes and ghostly temptations, Cancerian. Slip away from attachments to traditions that no longer move you and the deadweight of your original family’s expectations. Soon you’ll be empty, light and free—and ready to make a vigorous first impression when you encounter potential allies in the frontier.

process, look at old photos and ask relatives what they remember. My reading of the astrological omens suggests that your past can show you new clues about what you might ultimately become. Potentials that were revealed when you were a wee tyke might be primed to develop more fully.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) I often ride my bike into the hills. The transition from the residential district to open spaces is a narrow dirt path surrounded by thick woods on one side and a steep descent on the other. Today, as I approached this place, there was a new sign on a post. It read “Do not enter: Active beehive forming in the middle of the path.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) I suspect you’ll soon have an up-close and personal encounter Indeed, I could see a swarm hovering around a tree branch that juts with some form of lightning. To ensure it’s not a literal bolt down low over the path. How to proceed? I might get stung if I did shooting down out of a thundercloud, refrain from taking long what I usually do. Instead, I dismounted from my bike and dragged romantic strolls with yourself during a storm. Also, forgo any it through the woods so I could join the path on the other side of the temptation to stick your finger in electrical sockets. What I’m bees. Judging from the astrological omens, Aquarius, I suspect envisioning is a type of lightning that will give you a healthy met- you might encounter a comparable interruption along a route that aphorical jolt. If any of your creative circuits are sluggish, it will you regularly take. Find a detour, even if it’s inconvenient. jumpstart them. If you need to wake from a dreamy delusion, the lovable lightning will give you just the right salutary shock. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) I bet you’ll be extra creative in the coming weeks. Cosmic rhythms are nudging you toward fresh thinking and imaginative VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Signing up to read at the open mike segment of a poetry slam? innovation—whether they’re applied to your job, your relaBuying an outfit that’s a departure from the style you’ve culti- tionships, your daily rhythm or your chosen art form. To take vated for years? Getting dance lessons or a past-life reading or maximum advantage of this provocative luck, seek out stimuli instructions on how to hang-glide? Hopping on a jet for a spon- that will activate high-quality brainstorms. I understand that taneous getaway to an exotic hotspot? I approve of actions like the composer André Grétry got inspired when he put his feet those, Virgo. In fact, I won’t mind if you temporarily abandon at in ice water. Author Ben Johnson felt energized in the presence of a purring cat and by the aroma of orange peels. I like to hang least 30 percent of your inhibitions. out with people who are smarter than me. What works for you?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) I don’t know what marketing specialists are predicting about color ARIES (March 21-April 19) trends for the general population, but my astrological analysis There are places in the oceans where the sea floor cracks open has discerned the most evocative colors for you Libras. “Electric and spreads apart from volcanic activity. This allows geothermud” is one. It’s a scintillating mocha hue. Visualize silver-blue mally heated water to vent out from deep inside the earth. sparkles emerging from moist dirt tones. Earthy and dynamic! Scientists explored such a place in the otherwise frigid waters “Cybernatural” is another special color for you. Picture sheaves of around Antarctica. They were elated to find a “riot of life” living ripe wheat blended with the hue you see when you close your eyes there, including previously unknown species of crabs, starfish, after staring into a computer monitor for hours. Organic and glim- sea anemones and barnacles. Judging from the astrological mering! Your third pigment of power is “pastel adrenaline”: a mix omens, Aries, I suspect that you will soon enjoy a metaphorically of dried apricot and the shadowy brightness that flows across your comparable eruption of warm vitality from the unfathomable nerve synapses when you’re taking aggressive practical measures depths. Will you welcome and make use of these raw blessings even if they are unfamiliar and odd? to convert your dreams into realities. Delicious and dazzling!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) I’m reporting from the first annual Psychic Olympics in Los Angeles. For the past five days, I’ve competed against the world’s top mind-readers, dice-controllers, spirit whisperers, spoon-benders, angel-wrestlers and stock market prognosticators. Thus far I have earned a silver medal in the category of channeling the spirits of dead celebrities. (Thanks, Frida Kahlo and Gertrude Stein!) I psychically foresee that I will also win a gold medal for most accurate fortune-telling. Here’s the prophecy that I predict will cinch my victory: “People born in the sign of Taurus will soon be at the pinnacle of their ability SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “We must unlearn the constellations to see the stars,” Jack to get telepathically aligned with people who have things they Gilbert writes in his poem “Tear It Down.” He adds, “We find want and need.” out the heart only by dismantling what the heart knows.” I invite you to meditate on these ideas. By my calculations, it’s time to GEMINI (May 21-June 20) peel away the obvious secrets so you can penetrate to the richer While reading Virginia Woolf, I found the perfect maxim for you secrets buried beneath. It’s time to dare a world-changing risk to write on a slip of paper and carry around in your pocket, wallet that is currently obscured by easy risks. It’s time to find your real or underwear: “Let us not take it for granted that life exists more life hidden inside the pretend one, to expedite the evolution of fully in what is commonly thought big than in what is commonly thought small.” In the coming weeks, dear Gemini, I hope you the authentic self that’s germinating in the darkness. keep this counsel simmering constantly in the back of your mind.

It will protect you from the dreaminess and superstition of CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) When I was 4 years old, I loved to use crayons to draw diagrams people around you. It will guarantee that you’ll never overlook of the solar system. It seems I was already laying a founda- potent little breakthroughs as you scan the horizon for phantom tion for my interest in astrology. How about you, Capricorn? I miracles. And it will help you change what needs to be changed invite you to explore your early formative memories. To aid the slowly and surely, with minimum disruption.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Do you ever hide behind a wall of detached cynicism? Do you protect yourself with the armor of jaded coolness? If so, here’s my proposal: In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to escape those perverse forms of comfort and safety. Be brave enough to risk feeling the vulnerability of hopeful enthusiasm. Be sufficiently curious to handle the fluttery uncertainty that comes from exploring places you’re not familiar with and trying adventures you’re not totally skilled at.

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